#before I got my own laptop in high school I had to use my dad’s desktop computer anytime I needed to use a computer

[blueaphelion]

You know… if you count the pages, and pages, and pages of printer-paper-crayons-and-markers drawings I did in my preteens, Kim Possible is by far the fandom I’ve done the most fanart for.

I would spend pretty much all my free time either looking up references from the show and older artists’ fanart for inspiration (and subsequently wasting a shitton of my parents’ paper and ink printing out all those images and stapling them together as reference packets; smartphones weren’t a thing and I didn’t have any version of a laptop to save the images to for later viewing), or sitting in front of the tv with stacks of blank paper and containers of Crayola markers and crayons on a folding tv dinner table while I toiled away at my kid-brain hybrid of fanfiction and picture books. (That is to say, I’d come up with story ideas and then draw them with little bits of prose and dialogue written on each page. I didn’t know what graphic novels were at the time.)

I had huge stacks of these stories in boxes in my closet, that I’d stapled together as some form of binding. They were referred to as my “Kim Possible books.”

I kinda wish I hadn’t thrown all of them away out of private embarrassment in high school. It would have been neat to look back on them now, as a professional artist. Plus it was a waste of a lot of paper lol

[ahgasegotarmy116]

He Doesn't Deserve You | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter One

Summary: Life didn't turn out the way you wanted. You got the guy, and the job but everything else you had ever wanted has been crumbling around you. Pairing: Noona reader x Jeon Jungkook (She's 28 and he's 22) Word Count: 2.1k~ Warnings: yändere, manipulation, domestic violence, self harm, cheating, explicit language, hints at smut, angst, idk what else lol a/n: Ahh thank you so much for all of the love so far on the intro and even all the notes on the masterlist hehe. I'm really loving the direction this story is going in so I hope you guys will too! And thanks again to @kkusadmirer for the request!

Opening my laptop I pull up the most recent edit I had done on the next chapter I was working on. 

I'm a writer, not an incredibly famous one but a writer nonetheless. I make enough to get by and I'm able to work from home so that's all I ever really wanted. Just a silly girl, writing her silly stories, living her silly life. 

But unfortunately things don't always turn out the way you want them to. 

I thought I had it all, perfect grades and a perfect boyfriend with a loving family and a bright bright future. Now looking back at it all and seeing all of the stuff in the background that I somehow missed just makes me feel foolish.

How could I not notice Taehyung wondering eye? Why did I not listen to what my friends used to say about him? Why did I leave all of my friends behind for him? 

Being so wrapped up and so in love with him I didn't even notice the fact that my family was falling apart. My mom cheated on my dad and I never knew until they told me they were getting a divorce.

While my brother was struggling in high school while being around all of their screaming and fighting and finally got committed to a mental institution when he had a psychotic break.

I never knew anything about that. It's not like I didn't care, but I just never really reached out or gave them enough time to reach out to me. 

I was always like 'Oh Tae just got home I have to go' or 'Tae is expecting me so I need to get going'. My world has revolved around him for so long that my family and friends feel like strangers. 

How could I have been so stupid and neglected them, all for one guy?

The one that I wanted to build a future with and promised to do the same with me. Now here I am, 24 with student loans up to my neck and a sorry excuse for a marriage with a husband that is never home. 

I don't know what I managed to do in my past life that ended up royally fucking me up in this one but I'm sorry. Why couldn't I have done better so I would be saved from having my spirit broken and my heart ripped to shreds. 

The only positive thing is that this has given me is the inspiration to come up with an even more fucked up series of books that has been my only source of income for the past few years. 

Years, wow. 

Thinking about how much time has passed and how things went to shit so quickly helped me continue down this downward spiral and I don't know how to make it stop. Although the sound of keys jingling outside the front door is my rude awakening, my brain knowing I need to be conscious of what may happen next.

 I quickly wipe off the tears that I didn't even realized had started to fall and clear my throat. Moments later I'm met with the sight of Taehyung walking in wearing the same shirt I had seen him in yesterday but sports a brand new hickey near the collar, just barely noticeable but he makes no effort to hide it. 

"Y/n" I hear him call out, breaking me out of my train of thought. "Yes?" I question, hating that I've been caught off guard even though I was staring right at him. "I asked if we have anything to eat" he says, making his way over to the refrigerator, now going to see if he can answer his own question before I'm even given another second to speak up. 

"Um yeah I think there's some left over pizza from last night" I say and get up to walk towards him. "So how was work yesterday?" I ask tentatively, still not sure what kind of mood he's in. "Exhausting but it is what it is I guess" he says while stuffing his face full of a cold slice of pepperoni pizza. 

I turn to walk away while nodding my head, not bothering to ask anything else since it seems from his vague answers that he's not in the mood to talk. 

"Hey" he says, gently grabbing my wrist with the hand that wasn't occupied with the pizza, leaving me frozen in place. I know better than to walk away from him. Even if he's not mad at the moment doesn't mean that he won't be in the next. 

"Where are you running off to?" he asks pulling me close by that same wrist. Still doing so carefully but pressing on the bruises that he had left there from the last fight we had. 

He sees my slight look of discomfort and how my vision is trained on the wrist he's still holding and rolls up my sleeve, taking a quick look and seeing the evidence of his past transgressions.

"It left a mark huh?" he says examining the spot further and then bringing it up to his face where he places a few featherlight kisses on it, making a flash of heat run through my system when he looks back up at me with those eyes.

Those bedroom eyes that never fail to put me in a trance. He lifts his hand up towards my face and I flinch not knowing what to expect and see him stopping for a second, surprised by my reaction.

"Don't be afraid baby, it's just me" he says and keeps going, hooking his finger on the collar of my turtleneck to pull it to the side, no doubt searching for other marks. 

"There's marks here too. I guess it's a good thing you stay home. Don't want to have to make up excuses for those now would you?" he says tapping under my chin twice, a slight lilt in his tone, enjoying my clear discomfort in showing them to someone, even if it's the person that's caused them.

"What did you do today baby?" he asks, letting go of me and going back to grab a few other things out of the fridge to complete his meal. "Oh you know, just some writing" I say, trailing off and giving him the same answer that I've given him time and time again. 

"You almost done with it?" he questions, only really asking so he knows when my next big payday will be. 

I shake my head "No, not yet. I think I'm only about halfway though" I say, giving simple answers to his simple questions. "Well you better get it out soon. I bet your readers are dying to know what happens next" he says giving me a quick wink before taking everything he has in his hands and carrying it over to the couch. 

"Do you think you could grab me a beer?" he asks, but I know it's more of a courtesy than anything phrasing it like I actually had an option. I respond with a quiet yeah and bring it over to him, placing it on the coffee table. 

"Thanks babe" he says and grabs a ahold of my hand and angles his head up, clearly asking for a kiss to which I oblige. Again something I don't really have an option in doing. "I missed you" he says and rubs his nose against mine cutely, or at least it used to be cute. Now it just makes me sad thinking of all of those times when we were happy.

"Are you gonna watch the game with me?" this time giving me something that I actually have a choice in. "I think I've got some more writing I'd like to do" I say and he nods his head not even bothering to look at me or give me a verbal sign of acknowledgment before turning on said game and slumping back into the couch to watch. 

I walk over to my desk that happens to unfortunately be in the living room so I'm forced to grab my headphones to drown out the sound so I can hopefully get another chapter or two in before I call it a night. 

~~~~~~

"Baby" I hear him call for me through my headphones after some time, that's something that I've had to fine tune. Making sure I can hear him when he talks to me no matter what so it's one less thing I have to worry about him getting upset about. 

I pull out my headphones and turn my attention towards him, half expecting him to ask me to get him a beer. "Yes?" I reply, waiting to see what he needs. "Come here" he says holding his hand out to me and spreading his legs, showing me where he wants me. 

I get up and walk towards him, straddling him once I get close enough and putting my arms around his neck. "Hi" he says in a deep voice sending a shockwave through my nervous system. "Hi" I respond quietly, intimidated at the thought of what he might do next. "How was the game?" I ask tentatively, hoping for my own sake that there was a favorable result. 

"We won" he says, mindlessly tracing his hands up and down my curves. "How's your book?" he asks leaning into my neck, placing kisses over the bruises he had noticed from before. "

It's going" I whisper, starting to feel breathless from his warm breath fanning the sensitive parts of my skin. "Ready for a break?" he asks, question laced with a mischievous tone. I hum in acknowledgment, tilting my head to the side so he can have his fun.

~~~~~~

"I'm gonna head out but I'll be back later" Taehyung says while getting dressed with me still laying there with only a sheet to cover my body. "You're leaving?" I question, knowing he just said that but hoping he'll give me some sort of explanation.

"The guys wanted to meet up for a couple of drinks to talk about the game. Get some rest okay? I'll be back in a few hours" he says planting a soft kiss on my lips and one on my forehead. 

I nod as he pulls the comforter over me as well, starting to already to drift off to sleep. "Stay safe" I mumble and flip over to the other side to try and get more comfortable.

He looks down at me for a second and chuckles at my fucked out and sleepy state before walking out of our bedroom and soon I'm left with the sound of him closing and locking the door behind him. 

Although this night was bittersweet I'm thankful that it ended up like this. He's not a selfish lover when it comes to sex so I'm always left sleepy and satisfied except for the times that he's more rough, rough is putting it lightly so I guess I should say when he's more violent. 

I hate thinking about those nights and I refuse to let those dark thoughts cloud this physical euphoric feeling I have but I can't help but worry about what he might actually be going out to do.

 Would having a drink with the guys really make him want to leave his naked and freshly fucked wife alone in his bed? I just don't get it. If he's already been with me tonight could there be a possibility that he would wake up in another woman's bed and leave me waking up alone again tomorrow?

There's no use worrying about it though. It's not like it hasn't happened before, but why do I always let it get to me? Yes he's my husband but our marriage isn't like other ones in anyway shape or form. I'm here when he wants or needs me and that's it. I'm not allowed to want or need him because I'm just left disappointed every single time.

He doesn't love me, he just loves what I can give him and I need to come to terms with that. But it's nights like these where he's gentle and whispers sweet nothings in my ear that make me second guess things. 

Maybe he's changed? Maybe he's realized what actually matters? And maybe I'm just getting my hopes up. I can't keep lying to myself but I don't know what else to do. I feel alone most days but these little glimmers of hope are what keep me holding on and unfortunately that's all I have left. 

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[bibbityboppitybillyharvgrove]

Age of Machine - B.Barnes

Summary - Bucky and his wife just want their kids to unplug from the electronics and the internet for the holidays, so they take a trip to a cabin in the mountains. 

Word Count - 812

Warnings - Use of Y/N, female reader, mentions of food, not proofread

Author’s Note - I know this was uploaded later than I wanted but welcome to day 14! Two weeks in and somehow still going strong! Of course I had to add one of my favorite songs by my favorite band into at least one of my fics. I hope you enjoy!

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Bucky had taken notice that as his twins got older, they were more attached to their phones, reliant on the internet. He was getting tired of his kids texting back and forth when they were right next to each other. In turn, he brought up an idea to his wife, that for the holidays they should rent a cabin in the mountains which she thought was a great idea. The couple just wanted to have quality family time together, no electronics, no internet, no cable, just them and maybe a record player.

With Bucky’s avenger status, he was able to find one last minute at a good price. The deal was, the kids wouldn’t have their phones or tablets, they would bring a record player with them and some records and the only person that will have a phone is Bucky. As the kids packed, Y/N popped into their rooms and snagged their phones and tablets as well as making sure their laptops were sitting on their desks.

Their kids were in high school so at this point, they were quite upset that their electronics weren’t coming along with them on the trip. “I don’t want to hear any whining. You need to unplug from the internet for a few days. Tell your friends that you won’t have any internet or phones until after Christmas. If there’s an emergency they can call your father’s cell,” Y/N explained to the twins. In classic teenager fashion, the two of them groaned but complied with telling their friends that they won’t have their phones until after Christmas.

After everyone was packed, they got into the car and drove off towards the mountains. Bucky had assured his wife that there was a record player there and to just bring a few records to switch through for the 3 days they were going to be there. It was a 3 hour drive to get there, the kids sleeping most of the time as their parents quietly made their plans in the front seats. 

“If there’s not a lot of snow maybe we should do a hike together. That’s my favorite way to check out scenery in a new place,” Y/N suggested to her husband.

“Do you really think they would want to go on a hike with us? We’re not cool anymore, didn’t you get the memo? Apparently it’s not cool to have an Avenger as a dad,” Bucky joked to his wife, earning a slight giggle from her.

“It was never cool to have a teacher as a parent, especially if their friends are failing my class,” She joked back.

As they pulled into the cabin’s driveway, Y/N shook the twins awake. “Time to wake up babes, we’re here. You guys need to help me and dad bring everything inside.” She earned a noncommittal grunt from Steve and a groan from Sarah. “Let’s go you two. You’ll have plenty of time to sleep once we get settled in.”

The twins slowly got out of the car, going to the trunk and grabbing a few things before heading inside after their dad. They got themselves settled and then got comfy on the couch, squished between their parents. Their first night wasn’t very eventful, just settling in and lounging with each other.

However, the next morning was where the fun began. Y/N and Bucky working in the kitchen to make a huge breakfast for their family. They had all of the twins’ favorites as well as their own favorites, a Christmas record being spun on the player as the couple bustled around in the kitchen. Sarah and Steve hadn’t woken up until after breakfast was ready and the table was set. They ate breakfast together like they did every single morning, having sleepy conversations about their weeks and how they felt sleeping in the cabin.

The kids were already bored, which is when Bucky pulled out his worn out copy of The Hobbit from his bag. Y/N had started a fire to help warm up the cabin and changed the record over to her personal favorite album, The Battle at Garden’s Gate by Greta Van Fleet, trying to line up the needle to the right spot to play a song that was very fitting for what they were trying to drill into their children, Age of Machine. A song about relying too much on technology and needing to unplug from it.

As the song started, so did Bucky, rekindling their old holiday tradition of reading The Hobbit to their kids. “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.”

[billthedrake]

HIS SON'S TOY

(Story idea from @aestheticsupremacy)

Bill Mullen gave his high school senior of a son plenty of privacy. Tyler was a good kid, kept his grades up even if he spent most waking hours on football, baseball or just strength training. His son dated occasionally, but the girlfriends never seemed very serious and lately they'd been less frequent, too. Instead, Tyler was shutting his befroom door in a telltale sign of teen masturbation and doing it a lot. Several times a day.

The father's suspicions were confirmed when Tyler knocked on his study door one evening as Bill tended to some work emails after hours.

"Dad?" he asked. Long gone was the sweet kid Bill would toss a football with in the backyard. Replacing it was a real grown up teenage jock, tall and blond and handsome at 6'4" and sullen at times but still polite. "You got a sec?" Even that voice was getting deeper.

Bill looked up and pushed his laptop to the side. Work-life balance was hard, but he made an effort to make family a priority. "You bet, buddy. What is it?"

Tyler stepped in, his tall athletic body poised and natural in his movement. He shut the door behind him and turned back to his father. "I'm wondering if I need to see a doctor."

Bill had a bit of worry. "Yeah? What's wrong?"

Tyler got an embarrassed grin. "My dick's real sore. See..." Before Bill could react he saw Tyler pull down his team football shorts that he seemed to wear around the house nonstop, summer, winter and every season in between. Out flopped his son's cock, surprisingly meaty and surprisingly thick. The balls were bigger than average, too, and there was the soft blond fur coming in all around... but Bill's attention was drawn to what had brought his son in to talk to him. That dick was red and raw. It looked painful to see and imagine the discomfort.

"How often are you masturbating, buddy?" Bill asked, looking up from the genitals to Tyler's apprehensive face. His son really thought something was injured down there.

"I dunno, Dad. Like five or six times a day. A lot." He added with a blush. "Sometimes I just like to stroke it for a long time, it feels real good you know?"

Bill chuckled. "I bet." Then taking another look at the irritated skin of his son's dick, he asked. "You using anything for lube?"

It was like Tyler hadn't thought of that. "Spit. Is that bad, Dad?"

Bill nodded. "You're circumcised, like me. Sometimes us guys need a lot less friction or you'll get some major chafing."

Tyler nodded. "Do I need to go to the doctor to fix it?"

Bill shook his head and sat back in his seat. He'd been staring at his son's business too much he decided. "Don't think so. I'll pick you up some stuff to use. Just lay off the jerking for a couple of days, OK?"

Tyler laughed nervously. "Whoa... that's gonna be tough, Dad," he said. "But I'll try."

***

It took two days for the package to arrive and Tyler found it waiting for him on his bed when he got home from football practice. It was a plastic contraption, clear with something inside. Inside the box were a few bottles of lubricant, different kinds.

"Just keep that stashed away so your mother doesn't see them," his father said, standing in the doorway and watching Tyler pick up the Flesh Jack. It was a crazy thing to buy his son, he supposed but Bill knew it would be gentler on that teen dick, especially if Tyler was gonna go at it like he'd been lately.

"If you're pleasuring yourself a lot, that device will be MUCH kinder on your business," the dad explained.

"Yeah?" Tyler said, looking excitedly as he examined the toy. He was already getting chubbed in his shorts. He looked up at his father with a surprised expression. "You use one of these, too, Dad?"

Bill considered lying but had an honesty policy with his son when it came to sex. "Sometimes. There are times when a man has to look after his own needs. All guys do."

Tyler nodded, half tuning out the birds-and-bees talk he'd heard from his father several times. "So... you just like, stick it in?"

Bill smirked. "Pretty much. Consider it training wheels for the real thing buddy." If Tyler was honest, he'd not been sexually active. "Just be sure to use the water based lube, not the others... and rinse out every time you're done with it."

"Cool," Tyler smiled.

Bill could tell he was eager to use it. "I can give you some privacy, Ty," he chuckled.

Tyler wasn't remotely embarrassed. He picked up the lube and undid the top to squirt a good bit on the entrance of the toy.

Bill shut the door and let his son have his fun.

A half hour later, Tyler came up to his father and whispered. "Dad... that was amazing. Thanks..."

***

That bedroom door seemed to be shut more often and for longer. Sometimes half the day on weekends. Bill half worried his son was going to jerk his dick too much. He remembered what it was like to be a horny teenager, but he hadn't been that horny. Not like Tyler.

It was one of those long Saturday afternoons. Tyler had been in his room most of the day. Bill's wife had gone to visit her family out of state, so it was just the two Mullen men. Bill was going to take Tyler out for burgers, but it was already 5:30.

He went to knock on the door. "Buddy.... you might want to get ready soon."

"Just a minute, Dad!" Tyler called out. Then within a few seconds Bill heard some loud grunts of a teen having a deep cum. A minute later Bill was down the hall and watched as the door opened and Tyler came out, a towel around his waist as he strutted to the bathroom to shower up.

It was wrong, but Bill's curiosity got the best of him. He had about ten minutes to work with. The second the bathroom door shut, Bill went to Tyler's bedroom. He respected his son's privacy, but he figured he had a right to make sure everything was OK with Tyler's health. On the bed was a laptop, still opened, and that clear flesh jack. There was little doubt how Tyler had been entertaining himself all day.

Cautiously, Bill picked up the flesh jack. Identical to the one he had stashed in the drawer of his study. There was a smearing of lube around the base and more than a little clear, milky liquid pooled around the tip. His son's cum.

Bill's heart beat faster as he pushed his finger through the semen, feeling its almost silky wet texture. There was Tyler's DNA in there, matching partly his own. As he examined the toy, he could see the transluscent insides and knew it was full of more of Tyler's spunk. The jock probably had been using it all afternoon, adding one healthy load to another.

He pressed a finger past the ringed silicone entrance. The insides were squishy and very warm still. The corporate dad couldn't believe how much cum was in there, and the more he worked his finger inside, the wetter is felt. It must have been a very slick ride for Tyler's dick and Bill wondered if his son preferred it that way, or just didn't care that the toy was loaded up fully.

As he extracted his finger, he saw it coated in that pearly fresh liquid. It was wrong, but he couldn't help it. He pulled his hand up to his face and plopped that finger in his mouth.

The taste hit him like the rush of a drug. Poppers. Cocaine. Heroin. Something addictive. Tyler Mullen's semen was sweet and salty and bitter and floral. Bill sucked his digit clean before looking at the toy in his left hand. He wouldn't dare, would he?

He would. Knowing he had only about four minutes to spare to be safe, the father wasted no time bringing that toy up to his mouth. The scent of Tyler's crotch hit him first, that natural muskiness, then the chemical odor of the lubricant. Bill didn't mind either. He just latched his mouth on that silicone pussy like it was a real one and plunged his tongue in.

Fuck, there it was. The teen-cum motherlode. It was lewd and obscene but Bill used his tongue as a shovel to lick the inside walls of the toy and drag out a good amount of cum with each motion. Then, he titled it up and almost coughed on the amount of slimy seed filling his crawl like an oversize oyster.

He'd never been so turned on. Ever. He thought of pulling out his cock and stroking a quick one out, but he'd risked too much already. Reluctantly he set the toy down where he'd found it and wiped off his mouth and chin the best he could.

It was only then that he even noticed what was on the laptop screen. Porn of course, but paused on the display was a video. A young jockish guy, maybe 20, give or take, fucking a muscle daddy type in doggy position.

"Hey Dad," Tyler's voice interrupted him.

Fuck, Bill thought as he turned to see his son, ripped body damp and blond hair wet.

"Hi son... just checking..." Bill had to think of a good excuse, quick. "You, um, keeping that thing clean right? Bacteria and mold grow in those crevices real easy."

Tyler seemed to buy it. "Yeah, Dad. Squeaky clean. At least when I'm not using it." Then he looked at his father with a naughty smile. "We have a few minutes before we gotta head out right? I thought I'd have another quick one before rinsing the toy out."

Tyler should have been the embarrassed one, but Bill was the one who blushed, deep crimson. He couldn't believe after all that cum shot, that his son would have anything left in his balls. "Um, yeah..." he muttered. "Take your time."

Tyler walked over to get back on the bed, repositioning his lap top. "Thanks Dad. Don't worry, it won't take long."

Bill hadn't fully shut the door before Tyler started undoing his towel and picking up the toy.

***

Something changed that day. Not in the frequency or length of Tyler's stroke sessions. That bedroom door was still closed, a lot. But when Tyler's mother wasn't around, that door wouldn't be closed. Bill guessed that Tyler knew his dad had spied on him and maybe he'd guess more. Because now the jock seemed to be showing off. Wearing nothing more than those damn flimsy shorts around the house, till a very noticeable jock spike poked up in them. Then casually, Tyler would go to his room and not even shut the door.

Sometimes the volume would be up on the videos he'd watch. Sometimes Tyler would have headphones on and provide his own running commentary. "God, Dad you're so fucking hot. Wanna fuck you all night...."

True, if Bill wasn't lingering outside his son's bedroom, he wouldn't have heard it. It was his fault. He could always have a sit down man-to-man talk with Tyler. But then what would he say?

It wasn't that often, either, just when Bill's wife was out. But each and every time, it was like his son was drawing him into something deeper.

"Say, can you help me out Dad?" Tyler asked as he came into Bill's study, wearing just a T-shirt, those beat-up shorts and some flip flops. Even if was November and cold outside. "Ethan's coming over to pick myu up in a few minutes, and I guess I lost track of time... think you can clean this out for me?" Tyler held out the toy, one he'd been using all afternoon.

"Um, yeah, I guess," Bill stammered, watching as Tyler set down the flesh jack on Bill's desk.

"Thanks, Dad. I'll keep an eye on the clock next time." A honk came from outside. "Gotta go. I'll text you later, Dad."

The front door shut and Bill eyed the used toy. There was no mistake. Tyler knew what his father had done before and was making an offering now.

Bill was going to take it too. This time he could unzip and enjoy himself as he pulled that substitute pussy up to his lips and tasted his son's essence once more. Bill actually grunted as his tongue pushed in. The seed was fuller and richer tasting this time, if that was possible. Bill ate out the toy and jerked wildly, cumming way sooner than a 41 year old should. He was hyperventilating as he pulled back, looking at the toy's wetness and tasting Tyler on his tongue still.

Bill was out of control. But he couldn't help but get off a second time. He brought the flesh jack down to his crotch and sank it onto his fatherly boner. This time wasn't a rush job but was sheer pleasure. Thrusting into his son's wet toy, sharing the same ersatz cunt. He worked himself up some then pulled the sleeve off, seeing how Tyler's seed coated his own dick.

An idea occurred to him. He got up, erection sticking out and toy in hand and walked to Tyler's room. The laptop was still on. As if Tyler wanted Bill to find it. As Bill jostled the sleep function, several windows of porn vids were there. Queued up. Bill sat in his son's bed and watched one after another. Some were dad-son role play vids. Others just intergenerational couples. All had the daddy type sucking the younger guy's dick or taking it up his ass. It was very clear where Tyler's fantasy life lay.

It's now where Bill's was, too. He used he lower urgency of his second load to edge to all of the videos. And going back to his favorite to finish off. Probably how Tyler did it, too, he thought. He worked that silicone sleeve up and down more frantically as he watched an athletic top really pound a hungry daddy. Watching the dad type get the cum fucked out of him did it for Bill. He spurted into Tyler's personal toy, surprising himself with the size of his load.

Cooler heads prevailed as he came down, and Bill felt guilty for what he'd done. He rinsed out the flesh jack, dried it the best he could and left it on his son's bed.

***

Things went back to normal after that. Alli was home more lately now that winter had come. And Tyler was busy with school and practice and more time in the gym. He was even growing out of his moodiness, becoming a regular, happy go lucky jock with senioritis. Bill was happy to see the change.

Only the holidays came and that bedroom door of Tyler's was closed a lot. The son's cheeked flushed from sexual activity when he finally emerged. And Alli was scheduled to visit her parents right after Christmas.

Bill expected something but his wife had barely been out of the house an hour when he saw Tyler reclining on the family room couch, legs spread and those goddamn flimsy shorts pooled on the floor. His left hand held up his phone, where he watched some porn, and his right was working that toy up and down steadily.

"Buddy!" Bill cried in that "you can't be doing that here" tone of voice.

Tyler looked up. "Sorry Dad, just got so horny, you know." Then. "Come on. Mom's gone. It's just us here." Like that was an explanation for doing it out in the open.

Bill gulped. "I guess." He felt like a weak parent then. Caving to his son. Spoiling him. But his eyes watched Tyler work his cock with the sleeve. This was a new line to cross. Seeing Tyler like this. Particularly once his son pulled off the toy to reveal a 6.5 inch erection. Very thick and wet. Streaks of white clung to the shaft. This wasn't Tyler's first stroke of the day.

"What number are you on, Son?" Bill asked, a lump in his throat.

Tyler's cock twitched. "Number three," he answered proudly. "I'm up to six lately. Seven on a good day." He slipped the toy back over his cock. "Come on Dad, why don't you join me? Mom's gone and men need to get off," he smirked. Throwing his father's sex-ed talk back at him.

God help him, Bill was gonna do this. His dick grew rigid in his jeans. "I can... go get mine."

"In a minute, Dad," Tyler urged. "Come here first," he begged, setting down his phone and patting the free spot on the sofa.

Bill relented, sitting down close to Tyler, feeling the heat and the solidity of his teenjock body. He could see that toy up close and smell his son, the scent of cum prominent.

"Maybe you can tell me if I'm using it right," Tyler said as he worked himself with longer strokes now. His eyes on his father.

"I'm pretty sure you've figured it out, buddy," Bill said dryly. He watched Tyler work his erection, the slick squishy sounds filling the room. "Guess that's the best gift I've ever given you."

Tyler grinned. "Pretty much," he chuckled. Then pausing his stroke he asked. "You wanna try it?"

Bill gulped. "You mean...?" It was such a wild idea. He'd used Tyler's toy before, once. But this was different.

Tyler nodded. "Unzip, Dad."

Bill couldn't do it fast enough. It was almost hard to pull his dick out from his tightened briefs he was hard as nails. But he relished the look in Tyler's eyes as he saw his father's cock for the first time.

"Nice," the teen said and pulled the flesh jack off. Sperm dripped out as Tyler brought it over and lined it up with his father's spike.

The descent felt exquisite. Better than real pussy somehow, but Bill guessed it was the nastiness of the situation. His own son's sperm as fresh lube, some of it dripping down over Bill's hairy balls. And Tyler's lusty eyes on him. Alive, sexual, pleading. The kid had a good flick of the wrist, too. Bill let out a deep hiss as Tyler used the toy to pleasure him.

"Fuck!" he grunted. This was good, too good. Bill was gonna cum. "Buddy..." he pleaded to his son to let up.

"Go for it Dad," Tyler said excitedly, ready to witness his father's orgasm for the first time. He worked the sleeve more quickly, the rapid strokes milking the load from Bill's balls.

"Oh FUCK... aw yes... yes..." Bill's cries turned softer as he nutted into the sleeve, adding his dad cum to the deposit already in there.

"Stud!" Tyler cheered like he was complimenting a bro after a good catch. Wasting now time he brought the toy to his own rigid dick and started using it on himself. With his free hand he pulled his father's head to his own.

Like that, Bill was kissing his own boy. Tongue and all. And Bill's hand felt up Tyler's bare chest and abs, feeling that lean, smooth muscle as his son gave it up. The jock's orgasm seemed to go on a solid minute as his abs crunched and his body shook and as Tyler moaned into his father's mouth.

Bill was less embarrassed than before. This was amazing sex. Wrong, forbidden, unconventional as hell. But sex like that didn't come every day. And here he was having it with his own son. He patted Tyler's strong thigh. "That gonna last you, buddy?" he teased.

"We'll see, Dad," Tyler chuckled.

***

Bill gave his son space the rest of the day. But Tyler came down on his own to help Bill out with household chores and repairs. Stuff the father had put off. He was pleased to see his son step up instead of going up to his room to jerk off all day.

The men ordered pizza for dinner and showered off. It was gonna be a bachelor night at the Mullen house. Maybe some TV or movie to watch, some Sports Center, and some quality dad-son time. But Bill wasn't dumb. He knew they'd jerk off again, and what's more he looked forward to it.

Indeed as they watched ESPN, Tyler started to get hard in his shorts. He looked over at his father casually. "OK, if I show you something, Dad?"

"Yeah, buddy, of course." Bill had a good idea it would involve that flesh jack.

Only as Tyler came back to the room, he had his laptop but no toy. He set up on the coffee table where both men had a good view.

"This is my favorite video," he explained and pressed play.

It was a roleplay style video. Acted. Not amateur. But the premise was horny as hell. Furry, gray-haired father teaching his son how to fuck before a big date. Walking him through giving a rim job, fingering an ass and then topping.

Tyler's eyes were on his dad as much as the computer. He was erect in his shorts, a big ridge of teen spike, but he also seemed vulnerable and nervous as they watched.

"Wow," Bill said. He was hard, too, very hard, and his heart felt like it was in his throat.

"I mean the dad's hot and all, but I prefer the videos where the dad looks like you," Tyler said directly. "But the plot of this one is my favorite... I keep dreaming of this," Tyler explained. "Wishing it would happen for real."

"Yeah?" Bill knew what his son was getting at. It was crazy and crazy hot.

Tyler nodded and slowly leaned in. There they were kissing once more, more deeply this time. It was Bill's imagination surely but in less than 12 hours Tyler seemed to have become a better kisser, even. Responding to his father's soft tongue, both taking the lead and asserting the initiative. His hands under Bill's T-shirt feeling the furry stomach and pulling up the hem.

Bill helped him. Openly taking off his shirt to a very excited and appreciative Tyler. The son following suit. And there they were, making out and reclining on the couch like a couple of horny teenagers. At least one of them actually was, Bill realized with a shudder as Tyler took the top position. Doing his best moves and copying the porn vids he's practically memorized. Kissing along his father's neck, pulling up the man's arm to feast on the hairy arm pit, licking his nippes.

"I wanna eat your ass, Dad," Tyler grunted as he kissed back up the man's neck. "You gonna teach me how?"

Teach him? Bill thought. He'd never done the stuff in those videos. Sure, he'd had those fantasies off and on over the years, but this would be his first, too. And he didn't have the heart to tell Tyler he was cherry.

"How about this, buddy? You start and I'll tell you if you need to do anything different?"

Tyler grinned big and nodded. "Yessir. Fuck!" He ran his hands over his father's naked torso, relishing the barrel chest and tight midsection and the fur before pulling down Dad's sweats.

Bill was hard as ever but as Tyler pulled the sweats off his legs, he knew his dick wasn't the main thing on Tyler's mind. With a cocky gesture he pulled his dad's legs up and scooted down.

For the next ten minutes, Tyler relived that porn video. Matching rim technique lick for lick. Bill knew it was Tyler's fantasy to be "coached" in this fuck, but his son was doing the coaching.

"That's it, son... eat my ass. Fuck!" The sensations were incredible and Bill wondered why he'd never done this before. Of course Alli would never agree to this, but knowing he had a very hungry and eager son made Bill imagine getting this treatment often.

"I need some lube," Tyler said, getting up, a hardon showing in his shorts. "Be right back."

Bill had a half minute to decide whether to put a stop to this. Part of him was nervous as hell. But he knew this was a special chance and a special occasion for both men. He leaned back into the sofa cushion and spread his furred legs, imagining the shafting he was gonna get soon.

Tyler came back fully naked and hard, holding a couple of bottles in his hand. "I figured I'd try one of the ones I haven't used." He flipped the cap and poured some oily lube down his cock and applied the rest on his fingers. Then he was kneeling back between his father's spread legs.

"God, that ass is so hot, Dad," he hissed as the first finger pressed in.

"Slow!" Bill urged. This wasn't coaching, it was just the involuntary reaction to the first breach of his cherry.

"Got it," Tyler said gamely, his eyes on his dad's face as much as the connection of finger and pucker. Slowly he worked that digit in and out. "OK... adding another Dad..."

Bill nodded. The second one didn't feel so bad. More of a pleasant stretch now.

The father and son kissed, Tyler's hands still between the man's legs, working him open.

"Can't believe you're letting me do this, Dad," the jock grunted as the third finger popped in. Tyler took his time but briefly added a fourth. It was an uncomfortable intrusion but did the job of making sure Bill was stretched enough for his son's dick.

Bill knew how horny Tyler could get. But he was impressed with his son's patience. Not treating him like a flesh jack. Actually breaching him carefully.

But once Tyler was buried balls deep and he leaned in to kiss his father once more, it was like both men needed it. The jock's hips were strong, as were his glutes and Bill grunted at the firm hardness of the thrust. Then another. Slow, but powerful.

The dad's prostate buzzed and his cock jerked off his belly. He felt alive from head to toe. This is what getting fucked felt like. And Tyler was only getting started. Instinct kicked in and his son was going at it harder. Getting real into it. Bill was responding, holding his son's smooth body, feeling the muscle ripple with each shove.

"Stroke it, Dad. Stroke your cock," Tyler ordered.

Somehow, somewhere Tyler had lubed it because as Bill wrapped his hand around his spike it felt slick and exquisite. The dad times his wrist motion with Tyler's cock thrusts inside him.

"Oh shit!" he gasped at the unfamiliar sensation.

Tyler's hips pounded him harder now. "Gonna cum in you, Dad. Real soon...."

The very idea, of all Tyler's cum and his insides being turned into the equivalent of that flesh jack made Bill's balls boil and heavy spurts of cum to fly out onto his barrel chest.

"YES!!!" Tyler hissed and held his hips steady.

Bill Mullen was getting his first ass load. From his hunky teen son, no less. He pulled Tyler down for another kiss. That cock jerked excitedly inside him. Just as hard as ever, and Bill wondered if Tyler was gonna claim a second fuck right then and there.

He wouldn't say no. But first he wanted this moment. Just holding his only son and feeling that naked, intimate connection between them.

[viridiave]

A little love post to HORROR JRPGs

Content Warning:

So I'm gonna be talking a lot about some pre-Undertale era RPG Maker Horror games, and this post is gonna contain both spoilers and the discussion of the following:

Blood and Gore

Psychological horror

Child abuse

Sexual assault

Suicide

Violence

Fictional minors being put into very messed up situations, because that's just the kinds of games these are

Other upsetting themes

Hetalia (because I can imagine that all of us have very complex feelings about this fucking franchise. It existing feels like it needs a warning)

This post is a nostalgia trip and exists purely because uh. I have literally no one else to talk to about these games, and please just click away if any of the above makes you uncomfortable in any way. Some of this stuff can't exactly be handwaved as just being products of their time.

I'll draw smthn real quick later just to make up for it I promise

I'm like days late to Halloween but I just wanted to write this after getting a bout of nostalgia lmao

I absolutely fucking love Horror JRPGs - the freeware ones, even though I haven't touched one in a LONG time. I'm talking about the pre-Undertale era freeware games by the way, and in the first place I don't think I can consider Undertale a horror game but that's a topic for another day. OneShot also doesn't count aksjak OneShot gives me existential dread and a nonzero amount of guilt sure, but never terror

But let's dial that back a bit.

To begin with. 'Vir, you're a fucking coward, you run upstairs when you see that someone on TV has a gun. You can't stand watching horror movies. How the FUCK did this happen'

Weirdly, you can thank Hetalia for that. Specifically, the freeware Hetalia fangames that used to circulate on DeviantArt - that shit led me down this rabbit hole. And I guess it made sense, most Hetalia fangames are a coin toss between a horror game and a fantasy JRPG with countries getting isekai'd. I also played the fuck out of those.

For a bit of background, I love video games, but neither me nor my family ever really had that much spending power to buy game consoles, so my selection was pretty limited. Before I turned 18, I remember that we owned a GameBoy, a GameBoy Advance, a PSP, and one of those Fun-Sized Nintendo consoles with built-in games. We never bought cartridges either. I got my first DS from my dad on my birthday when I turned 18, and that's all the consoles that my family has ever owned. Still kinda jealous of my friends who have Switches, but eh - one day.

I just played a lot of Harvest Moon growing up, that's been my object of interest in my elementary days. The most of a horror game that I've been exposed to was watching my friends play Five Nights At Freddy's back in 5th grade.

Then high school happened, and I got new friends and shit - and was introduced to both more conventional horror games and Hetalia. Which is. A really weird combination when I think about it now, but everyone who was alive and kicking around in the early 2010's would know what HetaOni is, and you can see how that slope led to me playing freeware horror games. I'll always be grateful to these games, seeing as I never had easy access to mainstream experiences growing up.

I think I played HetaOni exactly once, on my first laptop. I played most Hetalia fangames exactly once, but they all just stayed on my old hard drive. None of them really had anything interesting going on gameplay-wise, I mean it's RPGMaker and these were people who just really wanted to make Hetalia fangames, but I remember some of them just sticking with me. I'd play them while I was away on trips to my grandmother's house, then watch let's plays on YouTube when I wasn't otherwise occupied with schoolwork. Really when I say Let's Plays I only mean KyoKoon64's - and that's how I was actually introduced to horror JRPGs.

CLOÉ'S REQUIEM

There's been a couple of times where they played some of the more recognizable horror JRPGs on their channel, but the first one I REALLY saw a playthrough on was one called Cloé's Requiem. I don't know what exactly it was about this specific game that stuck with me, and at the time I didn't know that this had like. More warnings than you would usually find on a horror JRPG. Calling it now, please look up said warnings before you try ANYTHING with this game - I can't promise quality and nuance, but I can promise great moments. Those moments stuck with me to this day, SOMEHOW, even after encountering games with better story and gameplay experiences… it's about a cursed 12 year-old boy trying to free a cursed 13 year-old girl, never getting a shot at the normal life he wanted and playing the violin because he can't do much else.

I think this game changed my life. Not in like, any grand manner mind you - but I feel like it's the game that best represented this time of my life as a weird high school outsider who obsesses over games that nobody's ever heard about. I was introduced to a lot of things through this game, it's just this whole volley of firsts that I wouldn't trade for anything else. Baby's first horror game, first jumpscare I ever consented to, first taste of games containing disturbing themes of sexual assault and gore, first trips to Pixiv and NicoNicoDouga - just all the fucking firsts. I wouldn't call it a great game, but it IS important to me.

When I think about it now, it's a game about curses. Michel D'Alembert is a talented violinist at 12, and his alcoholic father milks the shit out of this talent because they're not exactly what you would call well-off. His twin brother Pierre is a pianist, is nowhere near as talented as his brother, and hides his misery over this situation under a big-little brother façade. Cloé Ardennes is a pianist too, she's wealthy, talented, and still plays with her stuffed animals. She is cursed with an insane father who rapes her, and a mother who hates her. Charlotte is a young maid with nothing and tries her best, only to be killed because she happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Unsurprisingly things fall apart for everybody very quickly.

Pierre's frustrations with his spoiled, lazy brother boiled over, and he curses Michel out in a heated moment. This drives Michel to murder their Charlotte by accident, and she becomes his curse - he runs out of the house, kills cats, and finds himself in the dilapidated mansion that Cloé inhabits. Cloé by this point is already dead, and so is her dad, her parents, and the maids. Cloé's father may be her curse but she is the curse of this mansion, and it transforms into something hostile until Michel comes along and saves her from the shadow of her father. Michel plays her a requiem, and resolves to go home to confront his crimes - and back to Pierre, who regrets everything he's done. Watching the sun rise with a disappearing Cloé in the True Ending will likely be the last peaceful moment he will ever have in his life.

That's like. Not everything that happens in this game, but this post is already so goddamn long and I still have a lot of other stuff I want to talk about. But the gist of it to me nowadays is that these children are cursed with loveless lives and the whims of the adults that have power over them. In the end, their lives are all ruined. Cloé and Charlotte are dead, and we have no idea what becomes of Michel and Pierre when word gets out that Michel killed a maid and assaulted several others in the house in a fit of emotional instability. In every other ending, Michel is killed and Cloé remains an evil spirit, so really this is the best that anyone ever gets out of this experience.

I remember watching a playthrough of Con Amore on YouTube, but I understood none of it because it was in Japanese, and the game itself was untranslated at the time. It follows the cats Noir and Blanc and basically serves as an addendum to the base game - honestly it made me feel sorry for Charlotte, who was nowhere near as psychotic as Michel thought she was. There's also light novels, but international shipping is expensive and I don't know Japanese so. I'll just never figure out what happens to everyone after the game ends I guess

One of these days, I'll buy the remake on Steam - which exists, and I can't say I recommend it if everything I just listed bothers you in any way. But I can't shake the attachment I feel towards this game no matter how many years it's been, nor how uncomfortable its themes are, so you know - maybe one day. I'll go back to it.

IB

So - following that, I got pretty curious about the other games in this genre of freeware horror. Ib is the one that everyone knows the best, both Markiplier and Pewdiepie played it so you KNOW it gets press, but even in Japan this game was a hell of a hit. To me, it's a simple game that I can finish in an hour, but man what an hour it can be.

If you were to play this game right now after seeing how much press it gets (which I think you should, it's on the Switch now! Go get it!), you MIGHT be a little disappointed. It's nowhere near as gory or disturbing as Cloe's Requiem for one and you know - a bunch of blood and guts and ghosts on the walls does not a good horror game make, but make your choices accordingly. Nah - instead this game's staying power lies in its atmosphere. Like how many games can you say take place inside of an art gallery where most of the pieces try to fucking murder you? I mean there's probably a lot, but something about Ib's almost ambient sense of dread and exploration just kind of sticks in people's brains. Everything's a little scarier when the shapes are so close to being discernable but aren't, and I guess that's the appeal and horror behind Guertena's gallery.

Ib herself is a mute protagonist, pretty typical, but she's also NINE, and the game will let you know that no matter how unfazed she gets or how precocious she can be, she is a child all the same - and children break very easily. I personally love how the game barely has to say anything about how shaken she actually is about her situation, because it will show you how - she has nightmares that you can't escape, she sees herself getting hanged, Garry will need to shake her out of her shock when she sees a picture of her parents in the gallery that should not exist. She loses all of her will to live when she loses Garry to insanity. And speaking of Garry…

There's one standout room in this game and it's the Doll Room. 10/10 would NOT recommend it to anyone who suffers from anxiety because WOW I did not think the RPG Maker 2000 engine could ever have been capable of that. Nobody blames Garry if this room fucks him up. I mean come on the dude has to literally rip open the stomachs of dolls to find a paint ball. Those sound effects make it sound like the dolls are made of skin and flesh and all the while the giant fucking doll is creeping out of the goddamn painting while some of the most anxiety-inducing background noise is playing -

Yeah no I don't know why I ever said you'd be disappointed by this game. Or maybe you still would, this is a low-res game made in 2012. But my god does it TRY to scare you in the best ways it can.

One of the best moments in this game I think is the one where Mary and Ib are alone together, and the conversation gets increasingly unhinged with Mary asking Ib questions non-stop with no background noise other than their steps. At this point, they're separated from Garry, and they're trying to find a way back to each other. Garry meanwhile is slowly piecing together the truth about Mary and how dangerous it is for Ib to remain alone with her, all the while still trying to figure out how to get back to both of them.

The section after that is in the Sketchbook which honestly? The vibes of this place are impeccable. Somehow it's fitting that one of the tensest areas in a game about a fine arts gallery is the place made entirely out of childlike scribbles.

Overall, I'd say the experience is well worth an hour or two - I'd recommend it happily over Cloé's Requiem, if only so you can have a taste of what Horror JRPGs were like before Omori came along. Yes I know that Omori isn't Japanese but it's very much in the same vein as these games.

OTHER GAMES

Those were the safe two that planted my feet firmly into the Horror JRPG fandom, but there's a lot of other titles out there, so let's go - lightning round!

Ao Oni is the ubiquitous one, like chances are you've at least HEARD of it in passing at some point in your life. Like this shit made it to the big screen in Japan, that's how much of a deal it was. I've never played the original myself, but it's partly because its formula of stuck in a mansion with a horror that chases you around is present in pretty much every Horror JRPG after its release in 2007. If you want some classic fun with the big blue demon though then you can't go wrong with the freeware version.

Mad Father and The Witch's House are part of what I like to call the Big 3 of JRPGs starring preteen girls experiencing the Horrors™, mostly because back in the mid-2010's I couldn't go three posts without seeing them all together. Mad Father is the only other one of said Big 3 that I've touched, because I was too coward to touch The Witch's House and Ellen's whole deal remains a mystery to me to this day. I think Mad Father got a remake a couple of years ago, so you can check that out if you want, but keep in mind that these two games in particular might not stoke the same kind of magical staying power that Ib somehow retained years after its release, and I know those two rely on jumpscares a lot more than Ib does.

I'll eat my fedora right here by the way, because one of my cardinal sins of being a Horror JRPG fan is that I've never played Yume Nikki. As far as these freeware games go, this is probably one of the more avant-garde ones - it's artsy, atmospheric, and a game best experienced by getting lost in the strange environments it provides. Out of every game on this post, this is the one I'd describe as the most Earthbound-esque, with its horror lying mostly in the surrealist ambience of just… wandering around in Madotsuki's mind. The end is just as quiet as the beginning, but is no less chilling to watch happen. Then you fuck around a little bit on Youtube and you find out what's actually going on, and uh - yeah that checks out, cosmic horror sounds par for the course at this point.

Yume Nikki and OFF are two of the games I think of when I hear about Horror JRPGs being talked about alongside Undertale - and nope, I haven't played OFF either. That's my other Horror JRPG sin. I was a picky teenager, but I've grown now and wow I need to find a time to play these games in peace. OFF actually isn't even Japanese, it was developed by Mortis Ghost and released in French back in 2008, making both pretty old and already pretty weird in the library. The reason I bring up OFF is because it's one of the older examples I know of that also incorporate Earthbound's precision 4th-wall breaks, and that it's a game about judgment and interrogates the player (more you than the Batter you play as, serving more as a vehicle that the game uses to ask questions through) about the choices they make in the game. OneShot is probably the one game in this genre of indie RPG that I know so far that employs this metaphysical idea of the player existing in the game in any kind of charitable fashion (aside from again, Earthbound and to some extent Mother 3), so between it, OFF, and Undertale they're what I'd refer to as the Interface Screw-RPG Trio.

Some other titles that I like are between the same devs, even some that I haven't really played to completion. Cloé's Requiem for example was made by Buriki Clock, and they've made other titles like Fantasy Maiden's Off Hideout and Trauma Traum - the latter I can't play because it doesn't have an English translation rip. Miwashiba is another dev which I think people who have a taste for light lolita goth-pastel colors would like, because my god the character designs in both Alice Mare and LiEat are peak. Don't even get me started on the fashion of 1BitHeart because everything in that game has such an impeccable aesthetic. I think I saw something at one point about 1BitHeart that like. Might count as a shared joke between Xenoblade fans, but I'd be hard-pressed to give context because again… packed schedule, who dis?

Just to talk about Alice Mare a little more, I've actually played this one - it sports a heavily storybook-inspired cast with some unique tastes on the tales. Most of my actual experiences with Alice Mare were from the English Light Novel, which I do still have! I really recommend it to people who have a couple of hours to spare on some light, relatively bloodless horror. Most of these games have Light Novels, come to think of it - hell Ib even has whole audio dramas, one of which was fanmade in English, and from what I remember of it the voice acting for Mary was PEAK.

One last dev I want to talk about is Segawa. I've saved them for last because their brand of horror is reserved mainly for one game, but their other games Farethere City and Tower of Hanoi are no slouches either. I don't know much about Tower of Hanoi (or if it even has an English translation right now), but Farethere City is a pretty cute experience as far as pseudo-horror games go from what I've heard, which is probably good for us because their other standout game is anything but cute.

END ROLL

Ah, End Roll. The last of the Horror JRPGs I've played before school kicked me even harder in the shins and I had barely any time for it. Out of all the games I mentioned on this list, this is the one with the most staying power in my brain - and also the one that influenced me the most.

So, I don't talk a lot about my original works. Nobody asks, so I don't overshare. But some of the prevalent overarching themes of my personal mythos are those of guilt, self-love, and the burdens of love. All of these themes were lifted directly from End Roll - which is to say, End Roll actually only deals in guilt, my brain just ran buckwild with trying to wrap itself around the logistics behind InfoRuss. One of my main protagonists, Rosso, is a dead-ringer expy of Russell - the same goes for Blanco with the Informant. One of the only ways I can describe Rosso and Blanco's relationship is 'selfcest as a metaphor for the painful coexistence of self-love and self-loathing', and how this relationship reached this point was largely thanks to the Informant and his role in Russell's dream.

I don't really know why I've come to associate the idea of self-love with guilt, because that's like. Not what the game is trying to do. The game's express purpose is to tell you the story of a boy who comes to love his victims and self-destructs under the crushing guilt that he carries from killing them. By some weird hand, I've fixated on the Informant and his determination in seeing that mission of the game through - AND his secret boss fight. Actually, I should. Go ahead and describe the build-up to his secret boss fight

You can only access it if you've purchased the optional villa, and if I recall correctly you can only fight him on the last day of the dream. The locked shed next to the villa is revealed to be a library of some kind called the Graveyard of Books and like - sure enough, there's books of every kind just torn apart and scattered about everywhere. The reason for all of this is because of the Informant's jealousy. He is created specifically so he can provide Russell with the necessary information to complete the Happy Dream Experiment, and in this regard he thinks Russell doesn't need anyone other source of information than him. So he does away with the useless other books, except for the strategy guides because that's the only kind of book Russell likes - and thus, the only kind of book that the Informant likes. Notes are scattered in the hallway leading up into his boss room, with the last one sticking out in my mind to this day:

'He thinks he's the most important thing to you.'

Which. I don't know why that line is so important to me. Whether it be because it awakened something weird in me, or because I myself was dealing with my self-loathing in a VERY complicated manner at the time, that line has gone on to dictate the way that I write about my characters even to this day.

It's such a visceral depiction of self-inflicted brutality. Russell Seager is a 14 year-old serial killer who grew up loveless and abused, and has no shortage of things that make every waking moment of his life fucked up. He killed people - some who just happened to be wherever he was at the time, some willingly by his hand - could not feel guilt about any of it, and when he lost Yumi to his drunken father while his nymphomaniac mother watched he snapped and killed both his tormentors. He then turned himself in to the police, a teen on death row. Happy Dream is him discovering guilt through dream versions of the people he killed. Happy Dream is what allows him to manifest the newfound emotions he felt through interacting with the kinds of people that his victims COULD have been. The world he creates morphs into the self-inflicted hell that is his guilt.

Russell has no happy ending, his guilt won't allow him that. Everything around him becomes a reminder of the lives he's destroyed, and how much of a living hell his own life was. Through feeling happiness and love from these fabricated visages of the people he killed, he learned guilt. It's such a weird exercise in sympathy, knowing that you're playing as this remorseless kid going through rehabilitation through extreme means. It either doesn't work, and he's deemed a failure - or it does, and he commits suicide either by confessing his crimes to one of his victims and stabbing himself to death with a syringe, or he stays in the deteriorating dream, never to wake up again.

At some point it honestly just turns into misery porn, if you look at it from a certain angle - this game is set on having Russell die no matter what. I couldn't tell you what EXACTLY it is about this experience was so impactful that it would go on to influence the way I want to spend my life - that is, I want to make games exploring these kinds of themes. Guilt. Sins. If loveless lives can be redeemed and made better. By the time the last day in the game rolls around, it's just a matter of giving Russell closure over his miserable life and choosing for him what his last freedom is going to be.

I think one of the reasons I like thinking about the Informant with regards to Russell is the scene that happens if you choose to go through with the first True Ending. Russell never really much liked the Informant, and the feeling is mutual. Russell is cold to him, and the Informant takes every opportunity he can to rub all of Russell's sins in his face - and that's his job, he represents the fundamental, uncomfortable truths of Happy Dream. If Russell chooses not to leave the dream, he is resigned to its destruction and waits for the inevitable along with the other denizens of Nameless Town. But if Russell chooses to get out of the dream, the Informant returns to Russell in tears, happy that he can finally be back to being a part of him - to this game, it's the ultimate acceptance. Russell then goes on to confess his crimes and the reality of the dream to one of the citizens, and he wakes up when they kill him in tearful retribution by his request.

He grabs the syringe next to his bed, and stabs himself to death, unable to handle the guilt. That's how the game always ends for me. The Informant succeeded, Happy Dream succeeded - and Russell chose to die as person who could finally feel remorse.

It's a regretful story with themes that really shouldn't be replicated in any fashion in real life, but somehow I found it fascinating in the way it explores the facets of the self. It makes me want to ask more questions and explore that angle of self-reflection to the furthest extremes that I can conceivably reach, and I guess that's one of the many reasons why I respect it so much.

SO… WHAT NOW.

Nah, that's kind of it. Like, OF COURSE this isn't all I have to say about the games that I mentioned, but wow this post is so long and I was just pining for the days of a couple of years ago. These games were present for the most transformative years of my life, and uh - whether or not that was actually a good thing remains to be seen, but I'll always be grateful for their presence in the void that I call my gaming experiences.

Horror JRPGs will always have a special place in my heart for how they tell their stories. Nowadays, I've developed more of a taste for fantastical RPGs that prefer to hide their horror in the margins of the narrative, fridging the terror for when the player wants to step back a bit and think about the implications of certain events in the greater world. Undertale, OneShot, and the Octopath Traveler games all tick that box for me - and all of those games are ones I hold dear. Like I'll probably ramble about OneShot some other day, because that's the other game that really changed my life in a way I felt like I can never come back from - but there's just a lot of special things to be said about these neat little self-contained, 6-hour freeware games. For now I'll close this long-ass post out. Happy late Halloween I guess - the M&Ms in our fridge have never tasted better.

[sweetbillwriting]

Love Just Happens

Everything She Wants - Part 15

Characters: The future's Bill Skarsgård and others close to him. The rest is my own characters. 

Setting: This story is set in the future but because it's hard to say how the world is then (and it isn't that important for the story) the future is similar to our time now, even with fashion and so on. 

Warnings: 18+, age difference, smut, alcohol, ageism, family problems, jealousy, kinks and fetishes, bullying, mentions of plastic surgery, talk about weight and looks, sexism.

Bill sat with his youngest daughter in his lap. She couldn't sit by herself yet but she liked to sit leaning against you and look around. She was a social, curious child but also grumpy and showed clearly that she didn't like to be left out. Bill's other daughters were in Sweden, at their mom’s but conversed with them through facetime. Isadora couldn't really understand where the voices came from and even if Bill pointed at the laptop screen for her she didn't seem to see her sisters. She sat instead and looked out the window dreamily. He noticed his other daughters got a bit disappointed that she didn't give them any attention but she was so pleased just watching the garden to the house they rented in L.A.

After they had talked about his daughters week he told them about theirs but left out the parts they could be jealous of. There was no reason for them to know everything.

“But wasn't Aurora's record already finished?” Asked his oldest when Bill told them she was recording at a studio. Bill sighed a little and caressed Isis' head. She had curls in her dark hair just like her mom. By the first look she resembled mostly Aurora, with her hair, big brown eyes and pouty lips but when she made some expressions it was obvious she was her father's daughter, she also had inherited his dimple and upturned nose. Aurora also had a slightly upturned nose but surgery was behind it.

“They didn't like it…” he said with a sigh. “So now they have collected other songs for her…”

Bill had heard some of it and didn't really like it. She had always had a bit of an RnB feel to her songs but this sounded like the soundtracks to a high school movie. It had more of a punk pop feel to it and didn't fit her voice at all.

“Isn't it good?” Continued his oldest, she could always read him.

“Sure… I think you will like it… I just thought her own material was much better.”

“I think it will be good. Lou is always good,” said his youngest and Bill smiled warmly at her. She was always proud of him and Aurora.

“When will you be home?” Asked his middle daughter without letting Isis go with her eyes. Isis had lowered her gaze to her dad's hand that laid on her tummy and played with his thumb with both her hands.

“You know that, in six weeks… But the time will go fast,” he said with a bad conscience.

“Can't you and Isis come home earlier? You don't do anything there anyway.”

Bill licked his lips and laid his head to the side. They had gotten used to his middle daughter's behavior now. She wasn't as entitled as before but she couldn't accept that the family constellation was really different now.

“Isis and Lou must be close for now. None of them would be happy without the other. And then it's the breastfeeding…”

He didn't say more than that because it would be a long explanation of how breastfeeding works. His middle daughter sighed deeply, the other had accepted how life was. His oldest had started to get her own life while her youngest so easily adapted and had a closer relationship to Aurora.

“Are you with Isis the whole days now?” Asked his youngest. Bill laughed and looked down at the baby.

“Yeah, maybe I will soon also be able to breastfeed,” he joked and all three of them giggled at the thought.

“Were you with us so much when we were babies?”

Bill paused and looked out over the green shades of the garden. He had been with Isis everyday the six months she had lived. He hadn't been around that much with any of his other kids. He had said no to projects he liked, choose to have meetings over zoom instead of going to the USA and had been as involved as Aurora in the caretaking. He hadn't done any of that with his other kids but the situation was so different then but he couldn't really say to his kids that their mother was unemployed while Aurora earned money every minute just by showing her face in public. His career was also different, now he got exciting projects offered to him all the time and rarely needed to audition. He had many director friends and could say no and knew they would contact him again.

“No… I wasn't…”

His oldest gave him an emphatic look because she remembered how it was when both her younger sisters were born. He worked so much, like his value as a human was decided by his work. They had talked about it, just she and him and she knew that situation was really different and also that her father had never really thought about how hard things would be when they got kids, especially when he was the sole family provider. He was still quite young when they got her and his career wasn't stable the way it was now.

“Why not?” Asked his youngest. It wasn't accusatory but Bill felt like it was. He was much younger then but couldn't say he regretted his choices either. He loved his girls, loved being a dad but he was so much more than that, something Aurora understood in a way no other had. They were equally as ambitious. But his age had also changed things. In his 30s he was so restless and after only just a few days free from work he had started some project. He was 46 now and much calmer and grounded in himself. He could appreciate just sitting on the floor helping his daughter trying to crawl instead of having a project in the back of his head.

“Mom was home with us all the time,” said his oldest daughter as she tried to help her dad but it just made the nine year old furrow her brows.

“But why couldn't dad be home?”

Bill sighed. He wished he got some help from his ex to explain it but knew she wouldn't help him. Now when they weren't a couple she always made it sound like he chose to be away from his girls and didn't let her work.

He heard the entrance door open and breath out in relief, hopefully this subject would be forgotten when Aurora came into the room. Isis looked towards the hallway and when her mom showed up she made a happy scream and squirmed in her dad's lap. Bill smiled amused down at her, then towards Aurora that reached her arms out and smiled brightly. He heard his other daughters giggle but didn't know if they understood Isis did it towards Aurora who was behind the laptop.

“Mamma is here,” he said so they would understand Isis' reaction but also that she probably wouldn't be that present anymore. Aurora sat down next to them and took Isis in her arms who laughed when she saw her mom again. She gave Bill a peck on the lips and then turned to the screen.

“Hey girls! How are you?” She said but Isis immediately began to whine in her arms. She didn't want to share her mom.

“We miss you! What is it with Isis?” Said Bill's middle daughter and looked at the child pushing her face into her mom's chest. Aurora sighed a little and looked at the baby. She could be so happy with her dad but once she came into the room all her energy went to claiming her as her own.

"She has missed her mamma, she has been away for four hours so it's a lifetime without her,” joked Bill and looked at their baby nosedive into Aurora's chest.

“And I've been leaking half the time…” said Aurora while trying to make her daughter sit up. Bill heard his youngest giggle, the breastfeeding was odd for her and that Aurora could start leaking just by thinking about her baby was really weird for her.

“I really need to shower…” continued Aurora and Bill nodded a little. “I can take her…” he tried to take Isis back but it made her whine and fuss. Aurora gave Bill a tired look. It wasn't like Bill wasn't a really present father, he was with her as much as Aurora but she was the one with the food so it was probably a reflex, a survivor instinct to have Aurora close but Bill could be a bit jealous anyway that she always prefered her mother.

“Ehh… Girls I’ll call you tomorrow instead. I think me and Isis will need to be an audience while Lou is showering…”

He said it a bit annoyed because they rarely won over Isis. Already at six months old she knew how to get what she wanted.

“Oh…” they said, disappointed but smiled understandingly. They knew their little sister could be grumpy. She had, after all, been a diva all her life.

They said goodbye to the girls and said sorry for the short call then hung up.

“That was a short call,” said their mother and looked at them where they sat on the couch, disappointed with the closed laptop in front of them.

“Yeah Isis got grumpy…” said the oldest girl.

“She doesn't seem to be as easy as you three were…” said their mom.

“She is just used to getting what she wants,” said the youngest with a shoulder shrug. There wasn't any value in what she said but the others could hear it didn't sound so good. Isis sounded spoiled and favored, even if it was far from the truth. She was just a baby and needed other things than the three of them did.

“But girls, I want you to know that if there is something I will talk with your dad. I know it can be much around Au…” she paused when her oldest walked away. “Honey?” Their mom asked, confused after her. She stopped and turned to her mother.

“Life is what it is. I'm grateful you have always been there for us, but so is dad. So is Aurora. They just have careers and a baby. Mom…” The girl gave her mother a careful look. “You maybe should date a little? I think you need to think about something other than dad.”

Her younger sisters looked at them interested but also a bit worried. It wasn't the best thing to say to a single mom.

Their mom was silent and looked away.

“I'm sorry…” said her oldest daughter awkwardly when she saw her mother get upset.

“I'm just worried…” the mother said and her daughter nodded a little. She meant well but she didn't have a correct picture of their dad and his wife. The conversation ended abruptly when their mother got a call. The sisters looked at each other. They loved both their parents, also their dad's wife. He was more present in Isis life, but it wasn't because he had a bigger interest for Isis, it was because he now had the possibility but also was forced because of Aurora having a career too. All of them spread out in the apartment but none of them could stop thinking about the situation: did Isis get everything she wanted?

×××

After Aurora had showered, fed the baby and helped her to sleep she searched for her husband. He stood leaned down, putting away Isis toys with his butt in the air. Aurora looked at the view. He had his new jeans on, they were in a medium blue wash with small distressed details. His ass was as pert as it always been. Carefully she sneaked up on him and squeezed his cheeks with both her hands. Bill turned his head and looked up at her but didn't stand up. He smirked a little and threw away a stuffed giraffe.

“You can spank me if you want,” he joked and looked at Aurora's naked legs. She had just a silky robe on after her shower.

She looked back at him playfully and spanked his ass, hard. Bill made a liking moan and stood up. They smiled playfully towards each other before Bill moved close to her.

“What's under that robe?” He asked darkly. Aurora looked up at him and felt the power switch when he loomed over her. She looked at him with big eyes and gave him silent permission to open the robe. Bill's long fingers played with the knot and after some struggle he succeeded to untangle the hard bow. He pushed it off from her shoulders and looked at the naked skin that became unshielded. She wore just a pair of white, basic thongs. She played with her fingers while Bill looked at her. She always got nervous when his power got so obvious. Not because she didn't feel safe, far from it, but because it was so erotic. He looked down at her from his high height. His big strong hands still laid on her shoulders heavily and weighed her down a bit. He stood fully dressed and it was his decision if he would take his clothes off or not.

Bill looked at her amazed with a small smile. Even if he had the power he never lost his sweetness and kindness. The power never took him over and he wasn't aroused from abusing it. Aurora had been with guys that liked to feel that they owned her, that she was there to please him, only him but they didn't have the physical power Bill had over her but as the expression said… “if you're big, you must be kind” and Bill was those wise words personified.

He lifted her up from the floor easily so she could put her legs around his waist and she laid her hands on his cheeks so she could steer his face towards her and kiss him passionately.

While making out, Bill carried his wife to the bedroom and laid her down on the bed. She stretched her arms over her head and moved her hips teasingly. Bill looked at her up and down and thought about for a short second how sillily attracted he was to her. She was so perfect and his cock got as hard as when he was twenty by looking at her.

“Strip for me…” Aurora said playfully and dragged her toe over Bill's jean clad thigh.

Bill smirked and took off his clothes slowly. He let the erotic atmosphere hang in the air and gave her sultry looks while looking at her biting her lip.

Aurora dragged her foot over his thigh again when he stood in just his black boxers. He looked at her sun kissed foot moving over his hairy leg while he had his hands on his narrow hips. In anticipation he waited on her to drag her foot over the thick line in his boxers but didn't show it. He wanted to pretend he had more control than he had. Aurora looked at Bill amused because she could see what he was thinking and chose to continue to tease him. She dragged her toe on the inside of his thigh, scary close to where he wanted her and looked at his face that became more and more pained. He dragged a big hand over her calf without trying to move her foot but hoped it would make her move it by herself.

“That looks painful…” said Aurora with pretend sympathy and nodded to his cock. Bill made a groan and looked at his erection. It started to hurt a bit, he was so hard.

“Yeah…” he said painfully and continued to drag his hand over her leg.

“Pull them down so I can see.”

Bill smirked a little pleased and put his thumbs in the elastic of his boxers.

“Both on three?” He said playfully and looked down at her thongs. Aurora giggled and nodded a little. Bill counted to three and pulled down his boxers in a swift movement. His cock slapped up on his belly and he looked at it impressed. For a few seconds he was so impressed by his own hard on he forgot his wife had also pulled off her underwear. He looked up at her, worried he had missed something under the short time he had looked at the veins on his member but met the view of her lying naked with spread legs for him. She even spread her pussy apart with two fingers so he could easily dive into her tightness.

“Give me that cock now, big boy…” she said with a whiny voice. Bill smirked and crawled on top of her. In every movement he poked her with his hard on and she was forced to control her giggle. Sometimes he still felt like a teenage boy. He looked at her pussy and took over to spread her open. With his other hand he held his cock and teased her with his tip but also slapped her pussy a bit. Aurora looked at him and whined. Bill smirked but made her whine for another reason when he suddenly pushed into her violently.

×××

They sat close together in the bed after their love making. Bill drew circles on her back while she sat with her cheek pressed against his chest and didn't seem to notice that the circles were just a way for Bill to feel how her ribs felt. There was so much that indicated she wasn't happy, even that he had given her two orgasms and he had come deep inside her and that she already was in her own head, was a bad sign.

“You don't like what they're giving you…” he said carefully. “They want you to be someone else.”

Aurora didn't look up at him, just pushed her nose into his chest and took a deep breath.

“You don't need to do what they say…”

Aurora sat up properly and pulled up her knees to her chin. She laid the cover over her legs like a protective shield and closed her eyes.

“I will lose everything if I do that… But yeah… They.. They're so mean…” she said and broke down in tears. Bill sat up more properly too but didn't touch her, she knew he was there if she needed the closeness but for now it seemed like she needed the space.

“They complain about everything! Even that I seem to have more muscles in my legs. They want me to be… fifteen!”

Bill licked his lips and looked at his wife worriedly. The weight loss was someone else's idea, it was obvious.

“They’re trying to put in my head that I need surgery. They’re trying to put in my head that I must stop breastfeeding. They’re trying to…” she looked up at Bill with glassy eyes and sighed. He knew what she was meant to say. They wanted her to break up with him.

“Do you believe them?” He said lowly, even if he tried to be neutral and not get upset. But it was upsetting to hear someone trying to make her believe she was better off without him.

“No! But… Some things? Maybe I look like a tired mom?” Bill made a grunt like it was impossible.

“No. No. You're as beautiful as you've always been, it's just that you're older. No one stays twenty their whole life and you're beautiful as a woman now, instead of a girl.”

Aurora breathed heavily and dried her tears.

“But… I'm thinking about botox… Just to look a bit more plump again?”

Bill wanted to roll his eyes but didn't. To him it was silly his wife, who was sixteen years younger, would do such a thing, when he didn't even have a skin routine he could remember to do. She looked so young and beautiful and he noticed how people could stare because of her beauty and yet some negative comments made her believe she needed botox.

“That's up to you… But I can't see any reason for it. None at all. You don't even have lines in your face. I had so many more when I was thirty and I heard all the time how I looked tired. Still do,” he said with a crooked smile.

“But lines are sexy on a man! I have loved the lines around your eyes since the first time I met you. You liked my fake nose and perfect make up!”

Bill made an offended sound. Yes he loved her nose, maybe even the make up but he also loved everything else… He thought back on the moment in Italy. How gorgeous and charismatic she was. How young… Oh right. He dragged a hand through his hair and licked his lips.

“I loved everything about you when we met.”

Aurora looked at him with love but also sadness.

“And I'm not that girl anymore…”

Bill made a face. She looked the same to him, mostly. She had a thinner face and something else in her eyes. Her breasts were heavier from breastfeeding and because of the pregnancy and then the weight loss she had lost that girly softness to her body.

“No, you're a woman now. But you aren't so different from earlier as they try to make you believe.”

Aurora sighed and moved closer to him again.

“So what should I do? I can't lose my contract… But I can't do that Lolita inspired shoot they want me to do!”

Bill turned to her fast with furrowed brows.

“What do you mean?”

“It would be a photoshoot where I would look like a ten year old in my bedroom… I'm a mom! And step mom to three girls in a sensitive age!”

Bill gave her a big eyed look but then took a hold of her neck and kissed her hard. Aurora gave him a strange look, because for her it wasn't the right moment for such a kiss.

“Aurora Lou… I don't think you understand how much I love the woman you are. And you should love her too because… Fuck you're perfect in every way.” He took her hand and kissed it, down to her finger tips and she giggled with tears in her eyes.

“Being a woman is nothing to be embarrassed about, you have become just a better version of yourself and… I want everything with you, give you everything. Just… Let us do this our way.”

Aurora looked at him with big eyes, waiting for him to say more.

“You know… I had a small, very, very small record label in my thirties. I shut it down because we lost inspiration but… We should just release your record on your own label. You don't need those assholes. It's them who needs you. You should be able to do everything you want.”

Aurora giggled and laid her hands on her warm cheeks. She didn't know why she got embarrassed but Bill's love just did that to her sometimes.

“Would you help me? I can't do such things… You know I can't even do my taxes.”

Bill smiled a bit amused.

“You can't even pay a bill.”

Aurora smiled amused too but it changed to a playful one.

“You want to be paid now?”

Bill just gave her an amused eye roll but then kissed her again and again.

“I will help you. We will do this together. We’ll make a video again, we hire the best fucking photographers and make a sexy cover for a grown woman, okay?”

Aurora smiled brightly and dragged her fingers through the hair on Bill's underarm.

“But it can be pink? Because I love pink. And bows. And glitter.”

Bill laughed and hugged her.

“Yeah, that's just you… And long hair, high heels and a great fucking ass,” said he with wagging eyebrows. His wife laughed and pushed his cheek like she was annoyed but kissed him right after.

×××

“Baby? Bill? Bill. Billy baby?” Aurora looked out from the kitchen in the rented house in Los Angeles. Her husband didn't answer and wondered if he had left without saying goodbye. It had happened a few times when he was really stressed. She walked to the big living room where she found him sitting on the floor with their daughter. She tried to crawl to her dad and looked at him with big eyes.

“You can do it, baby. Yeah come on, Isis!” He said encouragingly to her.

Aurora looked at them with a loving smile and leaned against the doorway. Bill sat in his expensive beige suit with his hair perfectly styled while Isis was just dressed in a diaper and a pink striped t-shirt. The image was too cute and Aurora snapped a picture of the pair.

“Didn't you have a premiere to go to?” She said and walked up to them. Bill looked up at her and sighed.

“Must I?”

“Yes. Max will be sad otherwise.”

Bill looked at his daughter again, painfully.

“But you know I hate such things? And maybe I’ll miss her crawling when I'm away?”

“You can sneak in from behind and she will be going to bed in a half hour, she will not crawl tonight.”

Bill looked up at Aurora and tried to hide a smile.

“But I'd rather sneak in from behind here…”

“Mhm,” she smirked and put a hand on her hip. “But sometimes you must go through other doors than my back door.”

“Whyyy?” He whined and threw his head back, at that exact moment Isis' strength to hold her head up failed her and it dunked down on the floor and she started to cry.

“Oh honey!”

“Isis!”

Bill and Aurora cried out at the same time and Bill lifted up the baby in his arms that cried loudly against his chest. Aurora sat down on the floor and looked at her with a small smile. She could see the difference between real tears and attention tears. This was attention tears. She was good at faking it and in a few years she maybe also would be actor material.

“She's okay. The drama queen,” she said and dragged a hand through Isis's dark hair. Bill wiped away a tear on her chubby cheek and looked down at her.

“I didn't think a baby could act so well.”

“She will play on our bad conscience the rest of our lives.”

“Like it wasn't bad enough being a dad to four girls.”

Aurora giggled and patted Bill's cheek soothingly.

“But baby?” She said when it looked like Isadora would fall asleep against his chest.

“It's time for you to go to your premiere.”

Bill's smile fell again and he pressed his cheek against Isadora's head.

“Yeah, yeah. Okay… I think I spend too much time with her, it just gets harder and harder to be away from her.”

Aurora smiled and laid down her head on Bill's shoulder.

“I know… Even if she can be so grumpy and stubborn.”

Bill smiled and then shook his head.

“Oh well… Time to go…”

×××

It was a big premiere with many celebrities as guests. He was invited as PR like so many other people but he was also invited personally by the director Max who had become a close friend in recent years. He was a bit late but was quite pleased with that, one more reason to sneak in the back door. He would never be comfortable with that sort of attention, even if it had become better with time but also by being with a girl like Aurora, he had been forced to show himself in other ways and get used to people wanting more from him.

He took a seat in the back and pretended like he was totally unimportant even if he could see some younger men look at him with big eyes. He was a horror Icon after all and married to a beautiful, successful singer. He knew he was interesting even if he pretended he wasn't. When the movie was over he thought he would be able to hide among all the other celebrities mingling after the showing but he could feel eyes on his neck while speaking with an actress he worked with. He looked around a bit, maybe it actually was someone he knew but met a short man's eyes. He had never seen him before but gave him a nod just as a polite gesture. The man smiled big and seemed to have seen it as an invitation to talk because he came up to him with his hand outstretched.

“Bill Skarsgård, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Bill unsurely. He wondered if he was a fan but he didn't get that feeling. Something was familiar with the man and he tried to remember if he had met him before.

“Felix,” said the man with a smirk. Bill smiled with furrowed brows because it didn't say anything to him.

“Felix Floria, Aurora Lou's favorite uncle?”

×

[borahaerhy]

Gone (5) - jjk

Summary: You and your childhood best friend, Jungkook, have grown apart over the years, although you still have the same overbearing fun-loving bestie, Aria, that really wants her best friends talking again, something neither of you really want to be apart of until Aria goes missing, and the only other person that could help you find her is the one you've spent years avoiding.

Pairing: Jungkook x Female Reader

Genre: Best friends to enemies (ish?) to lovers, High School AU, eventual smut, slow burn

This one is a lot please read Warnings before reading: Theft, JK and Y/n are on the run, a Motel 6, cursing, More breaking and entering, Jungkook has a gun and uses it, someone gets shot multiple times (not a main character), someone gets unalived (shit happens man), Aria's parents are drug addicts.

Word Count: 4.6K

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Note: I have been told this may not be the most fun to read at night, so viewer discretion advised :)

“He’s going to burn my fucking house down,” you spoke as soon as you got into Jungkook’s car. His car was already started and in drive, so as soon as you closed the door he started driving out of there.  

“No, he’s not, because we’re getting the fuck out of here,” you pulled the wire from under your shirt and shoved it into his glove compartment hastily, unsure of where else to put it as your brain was scrambled.  

“What does that mean?” You asked, not really wanting to know the answer.  

“Y/n, that guy just threatened to kidnap you or worse. While we’re still here, going to school, doing normal things, he can watch us; make sure we don’t find her. I know you’re already freaking out, but we have to ditch everything and leave if we want to have any chance of finding her, or keeping you safe, okay?” You tried to keep your breathing under control as he spoke, but that’s really hard to do when all the words he says sound so crazy.  

But he’s right.  

You can’t get help Aria if we can’t do anything. You can’t act normally and pretend you don’t care that she’s gone, not now that you know this much. You basically have a taped confession, but who’s all in on it? Why? Is there anyone you can trust? There's no way to know, you could go to the state police and give it to them, and they could turn it and tell Bennett you had it. You can’t use your phones, they track everywhere you go, probably his laptop too.  

“Well, I for one, have no money, so I don’t think we’re going to get very far.”  

“I know the code to the safe in my dad's study, my parents won't be home from work for the next couple of hours,” you laughed a lot harder than you probably should’ve. He looked over at you with confusion smeared all over his face.  

“I’m sorry, but to try to avoid getting arrested for crimes we didn’t commit, we’re going to steal from your family and worry both of our families extensively while we try to find our friend that could very well be dead at this point. If I don’t laugh at that, I’m going to start hyperventilating,” Jungkook reached over and placed his hand on your thigh, squeezing it lightly.  

“We’re going to be okay. It’s you and me against the world, remember?” He spoke in a calm voice, trying to reassure you. You let out a small chuckle.  

“No offense, I liked you a lot more the first time I said that,” He let out a light laugh, moving his hand back to the wheel.  

“I know, but we’re kind of the only ones we have right now,” you nodded, knowing he was right. He pulled into the driveway of his house and jumped out of the car, running up to the front door. You got out and immediately went over to your own car unlocking and was about to slide in it. “What are you doing?” You stopped, standing straight up.  

“I’m going home, I need to get clothes and things –”  

“No, Y/n, we don’t have time,” He shook his head.  

“I’m not leaving without my goddamn toothbrush. Pick me up when you get your shit, I’ll be waiting,” you got in your car before he could protest any further and sped out of the neighborhood. You made it back to your house on the other side of town in record time.  

You got out of your car and ran into your house, grabbing a duffle bag and shoving a bunch of your things in it: toiletries, clothes, a stuffed animal. The necessities.  

“Y/n, what are you doing?” you abruptly turned around, seeing your mother standing in your doorway. You put the bag down and ran up to hug her tightly. She hugged back, still not sure what’s going on.  

“Mom, listen to me very carefully. Wait as long as you can before you report me missing –”  

“Missing?”  

“Don’t trust the cops or anything they tell you. Don’t let them know you don’t trust them. I’m going to get Aria back, okay? Don’t trust anyone, please, I’ll be okay I promise; Jungkook promises,” you let go of her and make your way back to your bag, shoving a few more things in it before you zipped it up and slung it over your shoulder.  

“Y/n, what’s going on?” You turned to face your mother, hugging her tightly again.  

“I just need you to trust me, okay? I’m getting Aria and I’m coming back; everything will be okay,” you pulled your phone out of your back pocket, headphones still attached to it, and handed it to your mother. You heard Jungkook honk the horn of his car, both you and your mom looked at the front of the house, before you looked back at each other. “I was never here, and you’ve been so upset, you didn’t notice I was gone, okay?” She nodded, tears filling her eyes as she pulled you in for one last hug.  

“I love you, Y/n,”  

“I love you too mom. I have to go,” You pulled away, kissing her on the cheek before you walked to the front door, pushed it open and walked out. You threw your bag in the backseat of his car before you sat down in the passenger's seat, clicking your seatbelt.  

“You told her?” You looked up to see your mom standing on the porch, looking at you. You nodded.  

“I had to warn her not to trust the police, plus, she caught me packing.” He waved at your mom, who waved back as he pulled out of the parking space.  

“Here,” he hands you a Walkman. A Walkman? “I tapped the recording from the police station onto it, then deleted it and wiped my laptop. That’s the proof we need to put him away,” you nodded, looking down at it.  

“Guess we’re going to have to find another way to research, huh?” He nodded, sucking his teeth.  

“Public libraries it is.”  

You drove all day and all night, only stopping once to get gas and food, and you were now in a very nice Motel 6, seeing as you both needed to get some sleep. Jungkook closed the blinds as you flopped down onto the bed furthest from the window, your duffle bag sitting on the ground beside it.  

“I’m gonna grab a shower, you should get some sleep,” Jungkook said, one of the first things either of you had said in hours. You rolled over and gave a thumbs up.  

“I’m already halfway there,” You mumbled, grabbing one of the pillows and hugging it. You heard him chuckle slightly before the bathroom door closed and the water cut on. You sat up and pulled your bag up onto the bed, unzipping it. You pulled out some sweatpants and a hoodie, and decided to change into them, wanting to be more comfortable. You shoved your dirty clothes back into the bag and grabbed your stuffed bunny. You pulled the blankets back on the bed, happy to not see bugs scurrying, and climbed in, falling asleep almost instantaneously.  

- 

“I didn’t know you still needed Bob to sleep.” Jungkook says, still half asleep as you hand him a coffee and muffin that you had gotten from the gas station across the street.  

“I don’t need him; he just gets lonely,” you said, shoving your stuffed rabbit named after the iconic artist, Bob Ross, back into your bag. You sat on your bed and sipped your coffee as he furrowed his eyebrows. 

“No breakfast?” he asked, taking a huge bite of his muffin.  

“I already ate mine on the way back over here,” He nodded and continued eating. “You know, it’s very hard to find things when you don’t have technology or a map,” He nods.  

“Yeah, I’m not even sure where we are right now,” He took a long sip of his coffee, before finishing off his food.  

“Good thing the gas station had maps, there’s a library a few blocks from here,” He smiled and gave you a thumbs up before standing and grabbing his own bag and rifling through it.  

“I’ll get dressed and then we’ll head out.” 

Minutes later you were at the library, each on a computer seated beside one another as you decided to see if you’d been reported missing as he found your new best friend Officer Bennett. All you had to do was look up Jungkook’s name and he was blasted all over the internet as missing, along with both you and Aria. Bennett had put the missing person’s case of Aria through, and now you were wanted for basically everything. Your eyes widened at the screen as you realized you had very little head start, and the police would most likely already be looking for Jungkook’s car.  

“Officer Cole Bennett, age 36, been a police officer in the area for 15 years, but before he went into the academy and “turned his life around”, he’d was arrested several times on various drug charges along with gang activity,” Jungkook kept his voice low as he read from the page, eyes never leaving as you could tell he was starting to look for something else. “I’m going to see if I can find his address, you find anything?” You sighed softly as you turned your attention back onto your screen, a long list of charges under your name.  

“Well, we’re all missing,” Jungkook stopped what he was doing an looked over at your screen. “Well, you and Aria are missing, I’m on the run, and you are either a fugitive or an accomplice, they haven’t decided yet,” you scooted your chair over slightly as Jungkook moved over to get a better look at your screen. “I guess your parents noticed your absence pretty fast, huh?” Jungkook glanced at you for a second before turning his gaze back to the screen, feeling like he should apologize for his parent’s worrying for their child.  

“Looks like we’re famous, going to have to get better at hiding,” you nod as you look around you, suddenly afraid that everyone here will know who you are if they see you.  

“You know, I did always want to be famous,” you joked, still looking around to make sure you were undetected. This was not going to be good for your anxiety.  

“You get anxious while getting your picture taken,” Jungkook scoffed, trying to lighten the mood. You heard him click away on his own keyboard a few more times, your eyes trained on your own charges. What the fuck did I say to get terroristic threats as a charge? 

“I found his addresses,” Jungkook was sure to emphasize the fact that he had multiple residences, “He has three, none of which you could afford on a police officer's salary alone, but this guy somehow has three. They’re all in this state, at least, but very spread out and all in more secluded places. I’ll write them down and then we should probably get out of here; might want to invest in a GPS if we’re going to have any hope of getting there.” 

- 

“Kookie, what are you doing over here by yourself for?” You asked, still out of breath from running across the entire playground. He looked up at you from the swing he was perched upon, before looking back down at the ground. You moved to sit in the swing next to him, kicking off slightly to give yourself a nice breeze.  

“I dunno, it just kind of feels like I’m being replaced,” you grabbed ahold of the chain to his swing and tried to rotate it, but instead you just rotated yourself. You being startled by your own abrupt movement made him look at you and laugh.  

“What do you mean replaced?” You ask as you both calm your giggles. He looks over at Aria, who was hanging upside down on the monkey bars, waving excitedly at you.  

“I just feel like you’ve been playing with Aria more than you’ve been playing with me since she moved here. I just miss you,” you looked over at Aria again, before returning your gaze to your depressed friend.  

“I’m sorry you feel left out, but I just wanted to get to know her better. But you’re my best friend, Kookie, she’s not going to replace you,” He looked up at you again, his eyes wide.  

“Promise?” he asked. You smiled, holding out your pinky. He wrapped his around it, and then you connected your thumbs. The most profound and unbreakable promise in the universe: the pinky promise.  

“Promise. It’s you and me against the world, okay?” He smiled and nodded. “Besides, we’re going to be in middle school soon, why would I spend my last few weeks of having recess away from my best friend?” You kicked off the swing again, this time actually swinging. He smiled, and did the same, trying to get higher than you. A few seconds later you were both going as high as the swings would allow.  

“Wait up, guys!” Aria ran over and sat on the swing on the other side of Jungkook, quickly trying to get as high as Jungkook and you had gotten.  

- 

Jungkook had convinced you it was a good idea to go steak out this guys house to see if he was there, if there was any sign of Aria. You made our way back to the motel, and decided to change into darker and more comfortable clothes before you drove several hours to sit outside someone's house and see if anyone was there, before maybe breaking in. How you were convinced that this was a good idea, you weren’t sure yourself.  

After changing, you packed up the rest of your things into your bag, both of you agreeing you shouldn’t stay anywhere longer than 24 hours. You zipped up your bag and threw it over your shoulder, turning to see Jungkook pull a gun out of his bag. We’re going to die— 

“Where did you get a gun?” You asked, knowing there’s no way he’s ever even held one before right now, let alone fired one.  

“The safe, thought it might be useful, considering someone did threaten to kill you yesterday,” He shrugged, lifting the back of his shirt before he slid the barrel of it into the waist band of his jeans. 

“I mean fair, but what do you even know about gun safety? What if you shoot yourself trying scare other people? What if it explodes —” You started walking toward him as he himself was walking toward the door.  

“There’s a reason I didn’t tell you and waited until I thought you were turned to take it out,” He turned to face you, making you stop walking abruptly or you’d run into him. You stayed standing, looking at each other for a moment. How have I not realized how tall he’s gotten? “I won't shoot myself, or you, I promise,” He held out his pinky, eyebrows raised, waiting for you to accept. You sighed, linking your pinky with his and brought your thumbs together.  

“C’mon, we should get going, we have a long drive.”  

The drive was just that. Long and uneventful.  

You pulled up to the house about an hour ago, staying seated in the car just waiting to see if it looked like anyone was home. By now it was dark out, so if anyone was, there’d be lights on and you’d be able to see shadows; 2 things you hadn’t noticed. There was, however, a car sitting in the long driveway, so someone probably was there, you just hadn’t been able to see them.  

You sat mostly in silence, watching the house with the car turned off with the occasional observation or sigh cutting through. There’s probably a part of the house you can’t see from this side of the street, or maybe even a basement. Or he might just be asleep.  

“Do you think we should just go in? I don’t think anyone’s home,” he asked, looking over at you. You shook your head.  

“There’s a car, so someone’s probably here, just in a part of the house we can’t see,” He huffed, slouching down into his seat. He remained silent for a second.  

“Wanna brainstorm while we wait?” he asked, his voice sounding defeated as he slouched down slightly in his seat. You looked over at him and shrugged, wanting to hear whatever he had come up with because to be frank, you didn’t come up with much. “So a cop kidnaps our friend, sets her house on fire, chases us through the woods, sets the place on fire he took her from, and then threatens to kill you before he reports us all missing and leaves you a wanted fugitive. If it has something to do with her dad, which is the most likely case scenario, why? Is he trying to blackmail her dad?”  

You listened to his words carefully, trying to make sense of why he would take her, but blackmail seems like the only reason that made any sense. “If I had to guess, Bennett’s a crooked cop. Maybe he likes to sell drugs on the side to help pay for his numerous houses. Maybe he’s a hitman, I don’t know, but there’s no way he can afford to live in one house that looks like that,” You pointed out the window at the house the two of you were currently stalking before continuing.  

“Without doing something shady on the side. I mean, you know all the fucked up shit her parent’s used to get into, maybe he was their dealer, got in debt,” You shrugged, thinking of all the possibilities. Growing up with Aria, one thing was always consistent about her parents and that was their inconsistency. A slew of unmedicated mental disorders partnered with addictive personalities and just from what you remember, they were hardly ever sober.  

“That’s definitely a possibility, still don’t get why that would make him want to burn the house down, unless he had something to do with—” you slapped Jungkook’s chest, cutting him off as you pointed toward the house, the car that was in the driveway slowly pulling out of it. He looked over as you both slouched down in your seats, not wanting to be seen if he happened to turn this way. Thankfully, he didn’t. Jungkook looked back over to you with wide eyes.  

“Now?" You looked at him then back at the house, biting your lip as you think.  

“We should really wait 5 minutes -”  

“I’m going now,” He opens the door and steps out, and you do the same, cursing under your breath in the process. You walk across the street, walking along the side until you make it to the back of the house. You walk up to the back door and he reaches out to try to open it but you stop him. You reach into the pocket of your hoodie and pull out 2 pairs of rubber gloves you had brought from home. He took a pair and put them on and tried opening the door. It was locked. Big whoop.  

You pulled a bobby pin out of your hair and kneeled in front of the door, Jungkook standing directly behind you as he kept his eye out for anyone that could be watching. In less than a minute, you were able to unlock the door. You stood up and opened it, about to walk in when Jungkook grabbed your arm and shook his head. You stepped back as he pulled the gun from his waistband and walked in.  

You walked in behind him and carefully closed the door behind you. You entered through the kitchen, which was connected to a large living room that looked like it hadn’t been used in years. Between the kitchen and the living room on the wall to the right there was a relatively short hallway, and next the that, a staircase.  

“You go up, I’ll go back,” you whispered, looking back the hall, about to start walking.  

“Where’s your weapon?” You looked at him, rolled your eyes, and pulled a pocket knife out of your pocket. He didn’t seem impressed, but you lightly shoved him toward the stairs. He continued up them, admitting defeat. You stepped back into the hallway; the first door is on your right. You take a deep breath before you quickly open the door, waving your knife around as you look for someone hiding. It was a bathroom, and a rather empty one at that.  

The shower curtain was clear, but you checked behind it just to make sure. Aside from that, there was nowhere else someone would be able to hide in here. You stepped back out of the room before opening another door on the opposite side of the hall. You opened the door as frantically as the first, but again, there didn’t seem to be anyone behind door number two.  

It was a bedroom, very simplistic with a bed, simple sheets, a nightstand, a lamp, and a dresser. There was also a closet, where there were some shirts hanging and a couple pairs of dress shoes haphazardly placed on the floor. The dresser was empty except for 2 drawers, one of them having a few pairs of boxers and socks, and the other gym shorts.  

You left that room and went to the last room at the end of the hall. This door, for some reason, gave you the creeps. You took another deep breath and opened the door. It was a staircase leading to the basement.  

Oh, fuck this.  

You swallowed harshly and balled your hands into very tight fists. You slowly began walking down the staircase, the little moonlight that was illuminating the rest of the house was now gone. You stopped halfway down the steps and reached into your pocket where the keys to your car were sitting perfectly silent in the center. You pulled them out and found the mini flashlight that was on it, and switched it on, before you continued down the stairs.  

As you made it to the bottom, you moved the flashlight around, getting a once over of everything, before you decided to turn right. This basement was huge and was packed with what you would call junk. You could tell he used this for storage, and there were about five rooms off this one giant room. You walked up to the first door and placed your hand on the knob and was about to turn it when you felt someone wrap their arms around your body, one hand going over your mouth and the other pinning your arms down.  

You screamed out as loud as you could, the knife and light both abandoned on the floor where you had dropped them. You were resisting as hard as you could, but the man was now carrying you, much stronger and taller than you were. You heard footsteps rushing down the stairs, but you couldn’t see anything. You could only hope it was Jungkook and that the flashlight was pointed enough in your direction so that he could see what was going on. A few unbearably long seconds go by before something happens.  

A gunshot rang throughout the basement, the sound amplified several times over as it bounced off every surface in the room. Your body flopped into the concrete ground harder than you thought humanly possible, your ribs aching as you felt a warm liquid begin to surround you. A second later Jungkook grabbed ahold of your arm and pulled you off the ground.  

“Are you okay? Did I hit you? Did he?” He grabbed your face and moved it from side to side as If he was trying to look for anything that indicated pain, but there was no way he could’ve seen you right now. You shook your head though, knowing he could feel it.  

“No, I don’t think so, I think this is his blood,” you said as you grabbed your damp hoodie. As soon as he concluded that you were not severely injured, he grabbed the flashlight off the ground and pointed it at the guy, as well as the gun in his other hand. The man was still alive, hands pressed into his abdomen where there was blood pooling.  

“Where’s Aria?” Jungkook practically yelled, the man having virtually no reaction. He crouched down and put the gun very visibly in his face and cocked it. “I asked you a question, I recommend you answer it.”  

“Whose Aria? I have no idea who that is! I’m just here to make sure no one gets too nosey, that’s all!” He was groaning in pain as he yelled, his words hard to understand as he was breathlessly trying to get them out.  

“Who hired you?” Jungkook was downright terrifying right now, his hands steady and his eyes focused. He’s so out of it, you genuinely think he might kill him.  

“Some guy, said his name was Cole, but that's all I know, I swear,” you took a few steps forward very slowly, kneeling down slightly as you neared them.  

“Jungkook,” you spoke softly, hand moving to gently rest on his shoulder. He didn’t move. “Jungkookie, he doesn’t know anything. He needs a hospital,”  

“He’s cleaning up after him, he probably knows something,”  

“He already said he doesn’t know where she is—” 

“He could’ve killed you, Y/n, I'm not just going to help him,”  

“I’m not the one with a bullet wound, Jungkook, and he’s not the one that put it there. He’s going to bleed out soon if we don’t get him out of here, now,” he paused for a moment before he sighed, uncocking the gun and putting it back in the waist band of his jeans. As soon as he did, you rushed over to the other side of the man and helped Jungkook get him to his feet.  

You ushered him up the stairs and made your way into the hallway. As you started walking down the hallway, someone else stood at the end of it looking you dead in the eye. Cole Bennett.   

“C’mon, Y/n, I thought we had an agreement,” you saw him reach around his back and you pushed the two men into the still open door of the bedroom before slamming it shut and locking it. The wounded man was on the bed as Jungkook shoved the dresser in front of the door. You grabbed the flashlight Jungkook still had in his hand and moved it so you were holding the key like a weapon and smashed the key through the window, shattering it.  

“Jump, I’ll get him,” Jungkook said, holding the dresser back against the violently shaking door as hard as he could. You hesitated for only a second before you nodded and jumped through the window, gashing your leg in the process. You could tell the second he stopped holding the door as there was a loud thud followed by a gunshot. Before you even had the chance to worry, Jungkook had flung himself through the window, landing perfectly as he grabbed your hand and started sprinting.  

“Wait, what about-”  

“He shot him, we have to run, now!” He yelled back, running as fast as he could. You looked back for a second, before hearing another gunshot ring out. You turned and put all your energy into running, Jungkook and you eventually hitting the tree line as the gunshots stopped. 

Note: Proof ATE

Taglist: @koobsessed @mwitsmejk @roxy1205 @yoon2jk @pamzn @drmrastraea @bbl32 @softforpj @lpgirl2324 @astoriasx @mooncuddler

[thesickpanda]

Breakdown After Breakdown

So interest rates have gone up, making paying our already HUGE mortgage even more difficult. Partner’s wages aren’t exactly rising. And the cost of food is so high the government is now investigating our two big chain supermarkets for adding to the cost of living stress on the populace.

All this is happening at a time when my partner and I are experiencing major burnout, enduring family drama, and I received some truly terrifying health news (my GI tract is very literally melting from off-the-charts inflammation and I am at high risk for colon cancer, among other things).

 We have been saddled with so much bad news and hardship that we feel we’re about to lose our minds, so we go fuck it, we NEED a break, and booked a cheap motel for two nights over Easter near a national park. We had the modest ambition of spending time in nature looking for orchids and birds.

Yeah, we got one day of that before our old second hand car (which we bought for a few thousand dollars from the side of the road last year) decided to break down for the umpteenth time, and we spent 12 hours of the second day of our 2 day vacation just trying to get home (eventually being towed). The SAME DAY my partner got a virus on his ancient laptop and my mobile phone started to fail. We purchased a new, bargain basement phone in town while waiting for the tow truck to arrive, and less than 2 weeks later I dropped it and smashed the camera on it. YAY.

So no break for us. Fine.

But then shit kept hitting the fan. When we got home, MY computer started to sputter out and die. We cannot afford a new computer right now, as we’re paying off a ton of medical expenses for me, so a week later my partner bought parts for it and rebuilt it himself.

And then there’s the car situation.

Since Easter, 3 mechanics have looked at the car, can identify there is a major problem, but cannot FIND it. So it remains broken. My car is also really old and sprung a leak in the boot and got soaked after a storm, so that now it stinks to high heaven from musty mold.  But we cannot afford another car, so OH WELL. I have a severe mold allergy and a sensitive nose but we cannot afford to valet it, and partner has sincerely had no time to clean it.

Then: our vacuum cleaner broke and the very next day the lawn mower broke, too. The mower repair shop would not even repair it because “that brand is such a cheap piece of shit it’ll just break on you in a few more days and I don’t wanna be held liable”. Wow.

And then this morning the towel rail broke after I hit my head onto it for the millionth time, and the wheel came off the laundry trolley for the second time before a huge load of towels finished in the washing machine. I am already disabled and currently have an inflamed nerve in my right foot, so the lack of a trolley is REALLY not helpful.

This is the week I have to spend an ungodly amount of money on three separate medical professionals and order a very expensive medical test to maaaaybe find the pathogen destroying my gut.

I recently watched a TLDR Global news video about the fertility crisis in South Korea and the world at large and it rightly points out house prices and cost of living being a deterrent for people to have babies. Under the video was a comment that I feel sums up what it is like to be alive in this 21st century:

“Long working hours. Low wages. High costs. No chance of ever owning a house. 0 work-life balance without a child, let alone with one. Layoffs left right and center. Hard if not impossible to get a job even with experience. Life is stressful as is already. Low standards of life. Nothing is family friendly - work, life, schools etc. A lot of the institutions still have the same mentality of - man works, woman stays at home, and it just doesn't fit how people want to live now.”

We are childless and partially own our own home (and only with assistance from the Bank of Mum And Dad as the boomers love to call it) and WE are struggling. How the HELL is humanity going to keep going like this? I am so worn down by the grind of everything, and relative to fellow millennials, we’re doing WELL. The only freedom is money, which the vast majority of us do not have in amounts that would actually afford us quality of life.

All I can say in the face of all this, is fuck capitalism.

And also fuck Australia, which appears to be its biggest bitch at the moment:

Source: TLDR News Global

[fancybois]

RIP Worth It

First off, I want to give a shout out to all the friends I’ve made along the way, you know who you are. I started this side blog during the peak of Worth It and the fandom, in 2017. And it was a much needed hobby for me to plug in to. 

I had just finished grad school, I had moved for an internship and I was alone and far from friends and family. I was getting over a major heartbreak too. I came back to my small apartment to my laptop to work on gifs for the fandom, chat with friends, or read fanfic (still some of the most quality fics I’ve read). I started my mornings before work watching Worth It in chronological order. I am so so grateful for this show and how it got me through my loneliness. So thank you Worth It fandom and thank you Andrew, Steven, and Adam and the rest of the Worth It team. 

Now. On to my last liveblog:

OKAY IMMEDIATELY NO. IMMEDIATELY 

HES’ GOING TO THE WATCHER STUDIO STOP THIS

IM LITERALLY SOBBING

SOMEONE MAKE A GIF WITH STEVEN GOING TO GET ANDREW IN  S1 AND NOW ANDREW GETTING STEVEN PLEASE i DONT HAVE THE PROGRAMS OR TIME TO DO IT

STEVEN’S DRIVING AGAIN 

Bub and Grandma’s has actually come up a lot in other videos for their amazing bread and I’m glad they have a shop now! If I ever visit LA I have to go there

First Cheers Steven, wonderful

Okay passionfruit donut??? Has to slap. That is my favorite flavor. Adam immediately going to that shows he knows whats up

Andrew just fucking dying when Steven said that he didn’t like limes as a kid

Andrew was like, you’ll remember this chef from our Oil episode and I was like, nope sure don’t, but I do remember the Boon sauce!

No Worth It fact?? ☹

Man, that chicken looks so so good

Steven: “Favorite food: free bread.” I knew he was my fave for a reason.

Second Cheers Steven!!!!

Oh man, pandemic Steven with the his black hair and glasses?? So fucking cute

Damn, we really got some Hearteyes! Andrew when Steven said he only thought of mousse as the thing his dad put in his hair. This last episode is a gift

Andrew was not ready for Steven to say confidence is sexy haha

Okay but that chicken might be sexy but that dessert is absolutely sexy too

Now Andrew is drivinggggg

Lot of French inspo in this episode

Man, remember when these boys had next to no experience with fine dining?? 

CHEERS STEVEN X3 HELL YEAH

Andrew: “This amuse bouche feels like the closest thing I’ve eaten to a pet treat.” hahaha

Half the things this chef is saying is in another language and I’m like, idk what that is but it looks good!

Throw back to their first episode. Every time I see truffle I think of the boys <3

Also this song was used when they were eating another fancy thing and I love that

Damn, Andrew really missed the opportunity to call back his hot honey joke. Local honey, that’s what they called me in high school. 

Pocky. They made fancy pocky.

Steven: “This is me holding on to like... everything I own, ya know? I just don’t want it to end. Arguably, the worst bite. Because it’s over.” Yeah. I feel that right now. That gave me a lump in my throat. 

Adam: “My Worth It Winner is the friends we made along the way.” So well said. Thanks guys. 

[sasuhinasno1fan]

A wish for a different life - Adrien AUGreste Day 5

Was almost late but I didn’t get to my laptop for a while. Kinda short but hopefully you enjoy it. I also hope I didn’t forget anyone in the Bustier class other than Chloe and Sabrina. We’ll see more of Luka with the next chapter. And the word Ms Rossi says is ‘oh god’ in Italian. and yes, foie gras macarons are a thing, as are truffle ones.  @adrienaugust

Best friends

“Does that say foie gras?”

Adrien let out an audible gag and then realised that people around could hear him. His mother narrowed her eyes at him at his blatent bad behaviour but he felt justified, if only a little. The few times they’d been invited to high class events, foie gras was usually a main and Adrien hated how it tasted. Which for a person who was a bit of a garbage disposal, that was saying something.

They quickly got their macarons and left before they could be cursed at. And Adrien thought disgruntled old Italian men were bad.

“I cannot believe you said that! Adrien!” his mother scolded, slapping his shoulder with every word.

“I’m sorry! But you know I hate the stuff.”

“It’s a miracle you’ve never said that to a host when we have dinner. Oh, that was mortifying.” His mother said, hiding her face in her hands.

Adrien shrugged. “Guess we’re lucky there weren’t tables.” Deciding to turn his mother’s attention away from smacking him again, he took her to the Garden of the Eiffel Tower. Thanks to advice from his friends, they found a shady spot to spread their blanket and away from most of the crowd.

“Do I have time to check my phone?”

“10 minutes, you know the rules.” Adrien reminded, fixing the beret on his head. The bow on the back jingled slighting from the bells before falling silent again. He’d have to remember to thank Marinette again for it. He’d been informed by Alya that she had a crush on him. Granted her sudden inability to speak words around him was also a massive hint. Thing was, Adrien didn’t feel the same and he was very sure he wouldn’t. he got crushes pretty quickly. Marinette, while a kind person and someone he felt happy to call his friend, hadn’t ticked any boxes for him. It was incredibly awkward having to tell Alya this and figure out how to tell Marinette. But in the end, he did and after giving her space, she’d gotten over her crush on him.

“You’d think with all the problems the city is having with Hawkmoth, I’d get answers quicker.” His mother complained, practically throwing her phone into her bag in annoyance.

“Is it the mayor?”

“Surprisingly, no. I truly wonder how the man has any power but he’s been rather good at answering any questions I have. What’s his daughter like? The other diplomates who have met her say she’s…”

“a spoiled queen bee?” Adrien suggested. “They’d be right. She knows she’s got power and she isn’t afraid to use it but honestly, I think there are times she could be worse. Lila is a whole other bag of crazy to deal with. I don’t think I’ll ever understand her, nor do I want to honestly. Ok, pictures of the food first and then we record a few favourites.”

After instructing his mother to hold the open boxes certain ways, they were finally allowed to dive in. while his mom unwrapped one of the separate macarons, Adrien picked up the massive eclair. To him, it looked like more sophisticated cannolo.

“Oddio.” His mother said, her face contorting into shapes.

“Are you ok?”

All she did was hand him the half-eaten macaron and stole the éclair from him. He took a bite and realised why it had been in its own box and why his mother had just devoured half the éclair. It was a truffle flavoured macaron. His dad loved truffle and whenever he got to visit his dad and they got dinner, Adrien was allowed to have some. But never this much all at once.

“I’m gonna have to kill Alya for suggesting this place. Oh, that’s disgusting. Where’s the passion fruit ones?”

“Oh, don’t kill your classmates. We’ve finally gotten settled. How is school by the way? Truly?”

He couldn’t help but smile, even with the disgusting taste of truffle in his mouth. “it’s amazing. I was worried, you know, about making friends. Even though I knew we’re here for longer, there’s still that voice in my head telling me I wouldn’t make friends. But my classmates are amazing. Most of them are the nicest people I’ve ever met and they’re so cool. Max, he built a robot called Markov who’s so smart. And he’s an awesome gamer. He’s been working on this video game involving past akumas, which sounds amazing.”

“Was that robot akuma his?” his mother asked, remembering the transformer that had appeared at his school.

“Yeah. But really, Markov is really sweet. He can understand human emotion. Kim’s his best friend which make them a pretty interesting pair. He keeps thinking he can beat Alix in a race but she’s insanely fast on her skates. She’s offered to teach me how to do a few tricks on an old pair, which means I can finally do that Carpcaptor photoshoot idea I wanted. Rose and Juleka are some of the sweetest people and they’re such a cute couple. They’ve got tough competition from Ivan and Mylene though. Their dynamic is the classic bad boy and good girl but he’s such a teddy bear for her. It’s so cute. Nathaniel is quite but his art is so good. Oh! And guess what, one of my friends from out of the class, Marc? He’s got the biggest crush on Nathaniel. He’s also such an amazing writer. I have to show you some of his work. Then there’s Alya and Marinette. Alya is a lot, really sure of herself and stubborn. We’re constantly yelling at her to stop chasing down the fights Scarlet Bug and Catseye get into but she never listens. But she knows when not to go to far. Marinette is really cool. She’s a designer and get this? She’s actually designed for Jagged Stone! I might have started begging for help getting tickets when Nino told me he tends to perform in Paris more often. Can you believe I’ll finally get to see Jagged Stone?  No more last-minute moves when he’s in town! Marinette had offered to help me with my more complicated cosplays and she made this beret for me. And Nino, he’s such an amazing DJ and videographer. He was the first person I really got to hang out with at school and he’s been so welcoming. He’s invited me to his house, if that’s ok?”

His mom nodded, this small smile on her face. “I know making friends was always hard, especially when surrounded by people who just liked acting like they were better just because of their parents. I’m so happy to hear that you have so many now.”

Adrien shared a smile with his mom. “Yeah. It’s been a long time since I’ve said I’ve had best friends, but I’d definitely call Marinette, Alya and Nino mine.”

“When I know my next day off, how about we invite them over? We can give them a taste of true Italian food.”

“Oh yes! It can also be a thank you for all the food they’ve suggested. We should also check out Marinette’s family bakery on the way home.”

“More sweets?”

Adrien shrugged. “They’ve also got the best bread in France.” His phone buzzed and he looked at the screen, smiling a little as he bit his lip.

“Oh, I know that look. That’s your ‘I think I might like this person’ face. You can answer it. What’s their name?”

“Luka. he’s Juleka’s brother. He was the delivery boy that first night. the first time I walked home myself, I bumped into him and he walked home with me. We exchanged numbers and we’ve gotten to know each other a little.”

“Is he cute?”

Adrien nodded. “Very. He’s got this whole punk look about him and his blue eyes make me feel like he could understand everything about me. I’ve barely seen him but I like talking to him.” Adrien felt his face start to get red. He had no clue if this was just a superficial crush or if this could go deeper. Dating didn’t happen much when he tended to move a lot.

“You know, I’ve noticed you’ve got a thing for people with blue eyes and a welcoming personality.” His mother teased.

“No, I don’t!” he nearly shouted, feeling flustered as his mom laughed.

“Well, even if it doesn’t work out like that, at least you’d gain a new friend, right?”

“I guess so.”

“So, what did he want to talk about?”

“Oh, he invited me to this music festival he’s participating in.”

[purplesurveys]

1532

1. Are you embarrassed / uncomfortable dancing in front of other people? For the most part, especially if it’s a choreographed dance. I think the only three settings I’d be fine with dancing in are at a bar, at a concert, and at a club and that’s obviously because nobody cares when people start dancing in those places haha.

2. Would you ever consider styling your hair as a mohawk? No. It wouldn’t be my style.

3. Do you have any friends that only bother to communicate with you when they need something from you? Or, do you do that to any of your friends? I haven’t felt this from any of my friends; on my end I also try to be watchful with my interactions so that I don’t come off as this type of person. I do have a high school batchmate who reaches out at least once a year to ask for monetary support for her family (she has three kids). As much as I want to help, I just don’t want her to end up being too dependent on others - as is unfortunately very common Filipino behavior - especially since I’ve heard she does this with every one of our batchmates. 

4. Have you ever curled up in front of a fireplace, whether alone or with someone? I’ve never been anywhere with a fireplace. I’d be surprised if I saw one in this country.

5. Do you ever drink directly from beverage containers because you don’t want to dirty a cup? No. I feel like that would mess with the beverage and make it go rancid sooner, so I’ve never done that.

6. When you come across surveys with poor grammar, do you fix it or pass on doing the survey because it’s too difficult to comprehend? I’ll fix it.

7. Have you ever accidentally dumped something sticky into your keyboard? How did you go about fixing it? No, fortunately. That would drive me crazy; even just food crumbs irritate me already so I can’t imagine how agitated I’d be if my keyboard (and laptop) got all sticky.

8. If you were in a situation where you had only enough money to pay for either a necessity [medicine, hygiene products, food, whatever] or something you just wanted - would you honestly purchase the thing you needed over the thing you wanted? Yes. That is something I would like to call The Effect of the Pandemic lmao. There was one point we really only had to buy the essentials every two weeks, and we also ended up having to sell one of our cars. My dad also had to take up a side job as a delivery rider so that he could earn during the time all cruise ships stopped services and he couldn’t go back to his work.

9. Of all of the electronics you own [excluding kitchen appliances], which one do you use the least? The Switch.

10. Do you know any men that wear slippers? Yes. Is it supposed to be unique if men wore them? Lmao Filipinos wear slippers and flip-flops all the time so this question comes off as strange.

11. Are there any smudges on your computer screen? Do you neglect to clean it? Not really smudges but like small specks of dirt here and there on the screen. I clean my laptop at least once a month or as soon as I start to feel icky.

12. ^ Have you ever sneezed on your computer screen? No, I always turn to the side before I do.

13. Would you [now or back when you were younger] be more interested in karate classes or gymnastics? I feel like I would have been interested in karate and I’m pretty sure my 5 year old self had even raised this with my mom. I feel like I was the only Filipino kid who never enrolled in a taekwondo class lmao; I was made to take up ballet instead.

14. Is your bath tub [assuming you have one] big enough for two people to lay in comfortably together? We don’t have a bathtub.

15. How often do you get sock lint between your toes? I don’t wear socks enough for this to happen. < Same.

16. Have you ever created anything in either Bryce or Poser? What is this even talking about? Are they software apps? Hahaha.

17. If you carry a purse, roughly how big is it? What do you carry in it? I have a handbag, rather than a purse. It’s definitely too big for the stuff I usually carry, but I like the extra space for cases I’ll suddenly need to put extra things in it. Anyway, I never leave the house without my wallet, vaccination cards, phone charger, and my tumbler. Occasionally I’ll bring my laptop too.

18. Of all the pets you have had throughout your life, which one has meant the most to you? Is there a reason why? I love all the pets I’ve had and have, of course...but there would never be anything like my relationship with Kimi. He was with me in all the turbulent moments of my life, just patiently sitting by, being. Our need to be physically close to one another was consistently mutual, and he was, and continues to be, essentially an extension of my identity. I also didn’t go through suicide in the handful of times I planned mine because of him – because I didn’t know who else was going to look out for him as much as I did.

19. Have you / would you ever go spelunking? Sure! I had the chance before, just didn’t have the appropriate footwear haha; next time I find myself near a cave I’ll make sure I’m bringing the right shoes so I can finally join.

20. If you could either be fire resistant or breathe underwater, which would you rather be capable of? Fire resistant. Can come in handy during fires and animals would need to be saved.

21. Would you rather live in a cabin up in the snowy mountains, a busy city, or a house by the beach? Busy city. House by the beach is great as like a vacation spot that I’d visit a few times a year, but I don’t want to live permanently by the water; I’m scared of losing the magic I usually feel when I’m by the sea.

22. Do you find the idea of space more exciting or frightening? So exciting. I just want to keep learning how big it is and what else is out there.

23. Do you know anyone who works / has worked in a fast food restaurant? Do you look down upon people who work in such environments? I don’t think so, but I know my cousin worked at a café at one point. No, I don’t look down at any career and I have so much respect in particular for anyone in the service industry - fast food staff, department store crew, security guards, all of them. Some customers won’t be the nicest, so I try to do what I can to just be kind.

24. Assuming you have blown bubbles in your milk before, were you yelled at for doing it as a kid? Yeah we were lightly chided to not play with our food, but I wouldn’t say we were yelled at for it.

25. Do you think that fake plants are tacky? Have you ever seen any that looked real? No, I don’t think they’re tacky.

[m-i91]

I’ve heard writing things down and getting you’re thoughts out on paper is very good for you a bunch over the years and have never actually tried it. I’m pretty sure nobody I know and follow uses this anymore so I guess I’ll do it here seeing as my laptop apparently doesn't have Microsoft word anymore. It’s hard for me to start this off,I’ve never been one for sharing whats inside of me with anybody really. I type that but I was probably way better at it earlier in life. Thats  probably fairly common tho in this world, grow up and start getting the shit kicked outta you cus this world is so fucking brutal and start getting stomped on by people over and over and naturally we all would start keeping things inside ourselves more. Enough on the craziness that i cant change tho. laughing while writing this because it feels a bit ridiculous but I bet it'll actually be helpful think this is basically the same as therapy and i fucking hate talking to people. The past probably ten months have been extremely fucking trying and I'm not going on like this much longer. I met somebody that i really liked and naturally i did what i always do, i fell way too quickly and went too hard once again for somebody who was repeatedly telling me she wasn't looking for anything serious. I know i know, she told you that and you didn't listen so too bad so sad. i know, its just how I'm wired. I've basically never not been alone in my life. I've had a very small friend group my whole life and idk i probably have a few that would say they consider me a good friend but i feel like theres only a couple people out there that would even notice if i was gone. I know everybody says shit like that and I've been saying it to myself since the second grade, it is what it is. growing up with barely any friends over the years and constantly getting picked on, it gets old. I grew up having absolutely zero confidence. i was the kid in school who ran between classes cus i didn't want to run into the wrong people and i wanted the day to get over as fast as possible. i got to senior year of high school and had never kissed a girl and plenty of people knew and teased me about it. That definitely bugged me but like not much cus i knew i had literally no confidence anyway, like i couldn't even have an actual conversation with an adult and look them in the face. Honestly senior year of high school was like my first time hanging out with anybody in my class outside of my small friend group over the years and i wanted to shoot myself in every one of those social situations. it sucked and i just wasn't cut out for that, if i wasn't smoking and drinking a bit at the time things would have been even darker. i survived high school barely, made a couple new friends and lost some at the end. the new ones all ended up being temporary but anybody thats ever come into my life that didn't leave it on bad terms ill always have love for. my time at 4cs, looking back on it was fucking awful. i have a couple fun memories with my buddys but they mostly involve taking bong rips in the parking lot before class, not very responsible but i was so unhappy. i cant even remember if i was there for one year or two at this point, all i know is my dad told me halfway through a semester that me living at home wasn't working any longer and to pick a state school and get in and he'd send me. the 4cs days were the first time i ever really got my heart crushed. it got badly tattered in 8th grade when i told a girl id been friends with for a long time that i liked her and she said ill talk to you tomorrow and then i went to school the next day and shed told all her friends and i never heard from her again, just got laughed at  the entire day, especially that extra special mrs simpson math class. i moved on from that and did my own thing for a long time. somebody at 4cs showed some interest in me and she was beautiful so naturally i did what i do and went way too hard way too quick and she naturally ran. that one stung. again did a few months by myself and tried to work on me. ended up meeting somebody a few months later and hit it off at first but that relationship turned toxic and i made myself stay way longer than i should have. i was alone for a long time after that and had some very dark days, very down on myself. i moved in with some new ex friends at i believe 15 westwind road and i believe those were the days where i started basically falling in love with anything female with a beating heart that showed any slight interest in me. i was seriously fucking struggling and me not dealing with my pain properly caused me to hurt some people that i really cared about and do some really stupid shit in a small period of time. after a bad ending at westwind i had another year where i really tried to focus on me and work on myself but i was definitely still fucking up and making bad decisions. my second year on comme ave was better and i was making some progress. the beginning of covid hit and i got pretty down, seriously dark days then too. i met E jeez i don't even know, sometime in the winter in the beginning of covid. we talked for a long time before we ever actually met. we talked about going on a hike at one point but me not currently having a car ended up being a deal breaker on that and that sucked but we talked for another few months and things were still going well and at one point we ended up deciding we’d meet for a red sox double date with one of her friends and one of mine. its sad how bad my memory of this is when it wasn't even long ago but i guess thats what happens in these situations. probably plenty of stuff I'm trying to suppress combined with a lifetimes worth of weed and booze since but that doesn't help. after that first date i feel like we were inseparable. she had emphasized at the very beginning that she wasn't looking for anything serious but when you spend that much time with somebody and build memories like that and speak with them every second, when they become your best friend you forget that conversation that they aren't looking for anything serious. And remember this, if they tell you that theres a reason. Even if you think there isn't, that is almost always code for (......with you). i mean we spent like fifteen months spending tons of time together and speaking every day and she goes back to school and two weeks or so after id seen her last she asks if she can call me and tells me theres somebody else at her school and thats it and she's posting pictures with said person by the end of the week. Should i not be upset? So theres that, and while all that was going on we have this. I had this friend, we’ll call her G. we’d matched and talked for awhile years ago but i was going through a really tough time and she came on a little strong and i think i essentially told her to leave me alone. Not a great look on my part and i wouldnt have been surprised if i never heard form her again. i never forgot about this girl and years went by, covid starts and id been working on myself for over a year and was feeling good and wanted to meet some new people. i matched with G again the day after matching with E and naturally we started talking again and probably a bit more than i was talking with E since we already knew each other. I was super busy and talked to a bunch of people for a little while, just making friends but not actually meeting anybody. I met E and we had a lot of fun together but when she left for school she stopped talking to me and i figured there was somebody else that she met at school. it sucked but it is what it is. Me and g started to grow closer and she shared with me some very personal things. i felt very close to this girl, i still do. I thought i was in love with e and if what i feel for g isn't love then idk what it is.. I'm sure itll take a few more months alone to actually know. G had divulged to me that she probably cant have children to me at one point and i felt horrible for her because she loves kids and shed be a great mom. e came home from school and we spent a few great months together and i decided i was getting a little too close with e (probably shoulda reminded myself about the IM NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING SERIOUS deal but hey I'm  not a couple douche, or so i like to think) and i told g things are getting serious with this girl I'm friends with and i just wanted to be up front with you about it. in the back of my mind the kids thing was probably in my mind a bit which I'm a fucking idiot for, I'm way too young anyway and looking back on it this girl was probably my soulmate and i blew it, you find a person like that and you decide you want kids, adopt a fucking kid and give them a good home. I'm so not stable enough yet anyway to be handling the funds required to raise a little one but i just feel like id be a good dad. so she told me to delete her off everything naturally and we essentially haven't talked since. e told me there was somebody else in february and in may i was going to texas alone and hurting real bad and a girl got on my flight who looked just like g and i was shellshocked. this girl sits down in the aisle in front of me on the right and i stared at the back of her seat the entire flight and couldn't help it. I sent her a message like i know you don't want to hear from me but i have to ask that wasnt you right and she replied with essentially a don't talk to me and here i am(shrug emoji). were sitting here july 7th, i just walked outta a dentist appointment to have my wisdom teeth removed cus these guys weren't gunna put me under just sedate me and sorry but I'm not iron man. they basically called me a pussy and i walked off. I'm fucking lost. this world doesn't make sense to me and I'm fucking sick of being a part of it. my life along with this world cant continue on the way things are going. i don't get how mass shootings and hundreds if not thousands of unnecessary deaths on this earth happen every day. were all fucked if the world continues this way but i won't be a part of it much longer anyway if things continue the way they've been going for me. I'm going to make some serious changes and adjust, i had a heart to heart with my dad not long ago and it broke my heart to hear it but he basically told me alright dude if you think nobody in this world likes you then maybe its time to change who you are. it made the tears come even harder at the time but maybe he was right. I think thats all i got for today. i hope nobody actually reads this. until next time

[goddessofthedawn]

In case you missed my first extremely brief post, GUILLAUME is out today. Here's the link. Above is the cover. Below the cut is the first chapter.

If you've got .99 (or KU! or want to spend 14$ on a paperback!) please give it a shot. I am so fucking proud of this book.

. chapter one .

Whenever I am called on to share a fun fact about myself, whether it be for meeting new people or first-day-of-school activities, I always use the island. What I don’t mention is that I was close with Guillaume.

            The short story is this: six years ago, when we were all twelve or thirteen years old, our plane crashed on a deserted island. Forty-two of us survived the crash. Fifteen of us came home. The reason the rest of them didn’t isn’t because of poisonous snakes, or spiders, or good old starvation. The reason was Guillaume.

            My friendship with Guillaume is something I don’t mention when bringing up the island because Guillaume is the reason the Bolin Disaster became the Bolin Tragedy, and I was the one propping him up the whole way.

            That isn’t something you tell people.

            Lucky for me, I got away with it. Everyone was either so exhausted or tragic or confused that they forgot that where Guillaume had been, I was there, too. I even testified against him at the trial. Lucky for Guillaume, his father had enough money to hire a lawyer good enough to get him placed under psychiatric care until he turned eighteen. So six years after the island, he would be free. I have spent my six years as happily as I could have. I’m thinner than I was. I feel like it was one way or another with us island survivors: upon returning to the States, we either gorged ourselves on the sheer mass of food that was available to use, or we couldn’t stomach it. I was the latter.

            But other than that, I was fine. I finished middle school and I finished high school and I got accepted into every college I applied to. I think all of us did. There were only a select few boys who could capitalize on our tragedy, and capitalize we did. Most of us got talk shows, even. None of them were very big ones, except the ones that Kevin and Adam went on—but talk shows are talk shows. I’m sure some of us will come out with books as we get older, too.

            The college I decided on was one I’d wanted to go to since I’d been young. It was my mother’s alma mater, a private liberal arts college in New England, and I was going to study political science. A few months before the school year started, I opened an e-mail from the school that was supposed to tell me who my roommate was going to be, and I do not lie when I say that my heart nearly stopped when I saw the name:

GUILLAUME ARGOT

×

It was stupid of me to assume that, just because he was crazy, his dad couldn’t buy him into college. Whatever amount of money you’re thinking the Argots have, they have more. Guillaume’s imprisonment after the island had been very much a gilded cage; I did, at one point, look it up out of pure curiosity, and even though the image of an asylum is a pervasive one, with straightjackets, padded rooms, and electroshock therapy, that was not the case with Guillaume’s experience. Guillaume had a private room, wore his own clothes, and spent most of his time in the library. He did high school over the internet and received a diploma in the mail.

            Part of me wanted to believe that my future roommate was some other Guillaume, but how many Guillaume Argots are there in the world? Guillaume Argots going to an American college? A small, private liberal arts school that Guillaume, my Guillaume would have known… but other Guillaumes may not have?

            I heard my parents coming up the stairs. I shut my laptop.

            “Did you get the e-mail? Who’s your roommate?” my mother asked.

            “Roger,” I said, because it seemed like a fairly harmless name. “Roger Elwin. I’m going to see if I can find him on Facebook or something tonight.”

            Roger Elwin was a name my mother could buy. Roger Elwin was probably blond, tall, broad-shouldered, played basketball or football, was going into something employable. The antithesis of Guillaume. Guillaume, if he was like he had been six years ago, was small, and skinny, and black-haired, and was likely going to get a degree in literature. When you were as rich as the Argot family, you could afford to get a passion degree. I was going to go for political science, but then go on to law school. My mother was a lawyer, and my father was a lawyer, and I would be a lawyer. Guillaume would learn about literature and then probably go on getting advanced degrees until he went to jail for real.

            You could ask me why I didn’t tell my mother about Guillaume. Why I didn’t defer for a year, or go to a different college; a better college, even. Why I didn’t call the admissions office or whoever was in charge of pairing up roommates and tell them that I couldn’t room with Guillaume because when we were twelve we killed kids together. I would say that I froze, or that I didn’t want to defer enrollment, or that I believed it wasn’t my Guillaume, and all of that would be a lie. The reason I didn’t do any of that was a mix of curiosity and guilt.

            Curiosity, because I wanted to see what had become of him. I wanted to see if he was still the same, in looks and temperament, and in the little things that made Guillaume, Guillaume. The insane sweet tooth that, if his parents hadn’t been richer than God, would have bankrupted his parents on dental bills. The fact that he would read anything and everything you put in front of him: nonfiction, fiction, it didn’t matter. The one physical flaw I remembered—no matter how much sleep he got, he always had dark crescents under his eyes, like he needed about four more hours of rest.             And guilt, because I’d testified against him and gotten away scot-free.

[silverjansims]

Generation One: Crockett Science

Chapter 5: Crockett Teens

"Teen life sure has it's ups and downs," Chang thinks to himself as goes to the door to see who rang the doorbell. Oh, it's our Simblr friends from the 'real' world stopping by for a visit and a piece of Dad's delicious pomelo cobbler with a glass of nectar. "Guess they could smell the fresh baked cobbler from the front step," he thought.

This is me, Chang modeling one of the new outfits I got for my teen birthday.

Hi everyone, I'm Chang, the only son and youngest of the family. Welcome back to our home and I will play host this time since Dad (Jeremiah) is busy practicing his martial arts skills so that he can reach level 10 and break a space rock before returning to China to defeat Dong Huo's mummy deep inside the Dragon's Cave. Mom is busy writing her next novel on her laptop while my sister, Chi is in bed after arriving home from a trip to France where she interviewed a local for her high school assignment.

Here I am thinking about how sorry I was to have messed up Mom's laptop and hope to never do it again but sometimes it's hard to control one's actions when having a mood swing.

On the bright side, I found out that gardening is fun since it means I can grow my own fruits and vegetables

At the end of your last visit with us, I became a teenager who loves music and vegetarian foods. The highlight of my first few days of a teenager was attending my first high school prom where I found my first romance and became romantically involved with fellow classmate and good friend, Braden Stepp. Will have to see where this relationship goes, though since Braden has just finished high school and I just started. Found out that the teenage mood swings are tough and while pranks can be fun to set, they are not fun when one gets caught and in trouble. This happened to me when I booby trapped Mom's laptop and was caught. Mom made me stand in the corner for a time-out after ignoring her first warning. Don't worry we have made up since then.

Here are some pictures from Chi's trip to France. First she is talking to Pascal on behalf of Jolene Montaque who wanted to date him. They became friends after she interviewed him for her school assignment.

Chi gave Jolene the good news that Pascal wanted to go out her, too. She and Jolene then listened to a ghost story being told by one of the local children.

My sister, Chi also had a great time with her date, Raheem Cyr at the prom and she has agreed to 'go-steady' with him. She will be graduating soon and then plans to attend university to study the fine arts after being award 18 credits towards her degree after completing the aptitude test. Chi's teacher recently sent her to France to interview a local there to learn about the culture in Champs Les Sims. While Chi was there she helped the local book merchant, Jolene Montaque get a date with Pascal Morel who is runs the relic store. She also interviewed Pascal for her assignment. Chi made some new friends in France while helping to drum up some business for the relic shop and then she gathered some materials for the nectar merchant, Noelle Saint James that she needed to build a better machine for making nectar in.

Chi drumming up some business for Pascal's relic shop by talking to the local Special Merchant, Albert Fouchier while visiting the nectary. He agreed to hang out at the shop the next day which brought shoppers in to Pascal's shop to check out his relics.

Chi had no problem convincing Henri Fouchier (above) to give her a special part Noelle needed for her new nectar making machine after they became friends.

That's the main news for now and my family and I hope that you've enjoyed your visit. Here are some recent photos from our family album for you all to enjoy.

I leave you with a couple photos from the home front. Here's my father, Jeremiah relaxing in the rocking chair after earning his brown martial arts belt while breaking oak boards.

Last but not least, here's my mother, Ling playing with one of my little critters.

Have a great weekend and now I'm off looking for more critters to catch for my collection as I'm looking to become a zoologist by having at least twenty critters to keep me company in my home.

Take care,

Chang Crockett

[child-of-of-the-sunshine]

Being the eldest and the daughter of the sheriff, I’m a year older than my younger brother Stiles and I’m just starting my Junior year. I also just learned I’m the first witch on my moms side of the family in a hundred years thanks to my dead best friends Cora’s older sister Laura Hale

Madeleine was in room when she heard her brothers Jeep starting up, She knew her younger brother was going to go try and find the body

“Stiles really.” She sighed hearing her brother’s Jeep

Madeleine didn’t care yeah she was her eldest brother, but she was worried about hiding her powers from people, well besides one person Reese Hale, Peter Hale's son her boyfriend since freshman year of high school. Her laptop started going off at her desk and her boyfriend’s name popped up, she ran over and answered it

“Hey Maddie.” He said smiling at her

“You go see your dad today?” She asked worried

“Yeah, but I’m worried he’s not getting better.” He said sounding as he was about to cry

“Babe I wish I could do something to help him, but I don’t think I can.” She said wanting to do something to help his dad

“Babe we both know what my cousin said, using too much could kill you especially since you’re just gaining control.” He said worried about his girlfriend

“I know Reese, but I wish I could help him. He loved me like a daughter, so did your Taila.” She said smiling at the memories with the family

“Hey, I know.” He said smiling

The next day Madeleine got ready for school and then picked up Reese from his foster home that he has been in since the fire

“Hi baby.” He said before kissing her

Madeleine got butterflies in her stomach even if they had been dating for almost three years and friends since kindergarten like her and Cora. Reese noticed a photo of Madeleine and Cora

“I don’t remember that day.” Reese said noticing the photo

“Oh, yeah I found it when I went to the hale house to meet with Laura, to help me control my witchiness.” She said laughing at her own joke

“You went to the old house.” Reese asked looking over at his girlfriend

“It’s secluded enough so that if. I lost control, nobody would find out.” She said starting to argue with Reese

“Madds I’m not trying to argue.” Madeleine said looking over at Reese

“Eyes on the road.” Reese yelled in time for Madeleine to swerve and miss a car, Madeleine pulled over and caught her breath

“Oh my God.” She said turning off her Jeep

Reese unbuckled and hugged Madeleine

“Hey, it’s okay.” He said soothing her hair

“Sorry, for yelling at you.” She said starting to cry

He lifted her head up to look at her face and wipe her tears away

They got to school just in time for them to get to there first class before the bell rang, lunch came and they sat with Scott and Stiles

“So, Madds almost killed us this morning.” Reese laughed at the thought

“Reese.” She said in disbelief and punching him in the arm

“Ow.” He said grabbing his arm were she punched him

“So you ready for lacrosse tryouts Reese?” Stiles asked looking at his sister’s boyfriend

“Yeah, don’t if I’ll make first line again this year.” He smiled before taking a bit of food

“Also do you and Reese want to come help us find Scott’s inhaler, he dropped last night?” Stiles asked

“Oh when you left him in the woods, because you didn’t tell dad he was with.” She said reaching and head slapping her younger brother

“Yeah sure.” Reese said shrugging always like adventures

Madeleine rolled her eyes at her boyfriend jumping to go on an adventure with Scott and Stiles

“Fine just so I can keep you three out of trouble god know what Cora would do to me if I didn’t keep you from doing dumb shit.” She said smiling at the thought of her best friend

After lacrosse practice Reese and Madeleine got into her jeep while Scott and Stiles got into Roscoe. They had it to where Scott dropped his inhaler the night before and started to look when styles notice a lurking figure in the trees. Stiles and I just got which made them all look up at the figure who happened to be Reese’s cousin Derek. Reese how to resist the urge to run over to his cousin and hug him after six years of not seeing his cousin in forever which he did.

“This is private property.” Derek said in a stern voice that Madeleine and Reese. Had gotten used to not hearing in the six years that the order werewolf had been away.

Derek didn’t look happy that they were trespassing either even if it was his cousin and his younger sister‘s best friend.

“Sorry we didn’t know.” Reese said covering up that he didn’t know this guy

Derek threw something towards Scott which he caught with ease much to the surprise of Madeleine and Reese. They started walking back to our vehicles when Stiles spoke up

“Do you know who that is?”

“No!” Scott said sounding confused

“That was Derek Hale, his whole family was killed in a fire like 10 years ago.” Stiles said surprise at its best friend didn’t know who the hell that was

“Actually it was more like six years ago.” Reese mumbled under his breath

Once everybody was back to their respective vehicles. Madeline reached over the center console and grabbed Reese‘s hand before kissing his forehead knowing that he was saddened, by the fact that his cousin didn’t really care that Reese was doing well and OK but Reese was bound to get to the bottom of why his cousin was back in town after six years? Why were both of his cousins back in town after six years and why didn’t he come and find him?

Later that night went over to Madeleine‘s house and came up with the crazy idea to go to the old Hill house and see if Derek was there. Madeleine pulled up her Jeep to the old hill house they both got out and started walking up they both just walked in and started calling out for Derek he immediately came down the stairs from upstairs. When he saw the two much older than when you last saw them six years ago he ran down and hugged him letting a few tears shed.

”Derek, why are you? Why are you back in Beacon Hills? Why was Laura back here?“ Reese sounded concerned about why his cousins were back in their hometown

“Because there’s a new alpha in town. That’s why she was here, and I haven’t heard from her in a while. What were you doing with the two kids?“ Derek asked his little cousin

“First of all, those two kids have names. Scott and Stiles, Second you shouldn’t be questioning us on what we were doing out here and we were looking for Scott’s inhaler that you somehow found near the body Scott found last night.” Madeleine said crossing her arms

“Oh you wanna know what I was doing with Scott’s inhaler, well I found it near Laura’s body she was killed and I’m gonna find a killer so do you wanna help me cause I could really use a witch and a human I guess but with somehow the werewolf abilities but can’t transform into a werewolf.” Derek said crossing his arms

“Laura was killed?” Reese surprise like he didn’t just hurt his cousin sentence

“Yes Reese, your cousin Laura killed the one that was helping your girlfriend get control of her witch powers!” Derek said starting to get fed up with his younger cousin’s attitude at this point “also by the way your little friend Scott is a werewolf too so I’d suggest you keep him under tabs.”

“What?” Madeleine said not believing Derek at this point

“Actually I saw it on the field earlier during lacrosse tryouts. He was good, like really good, better than me who has some werewolf abilities.” Reese said

To Be Continued

[goldenshoyo]

Taste like Strawberries - DILF Daichi

Warnings: Fem!Reader, age gap (Reader is 22 and Daichi is mid to late 30s), daddy kink (obv), brat taming, finger sucking, spit kink sorta, dumbification, degradation, thigh riding, oral (m. receiving), rough sex, a little praise, alcohol consumption. (as always, let me know if you want something else tagged)

Word Count: 4.9k (honestly idk how it got so long hahaha sorry)

Author’s note: This is my contribution to @kaijime's dilf collab! Make sure you go check out the masterlist and read all the wonderful works on there as well! Also, I edited this at 2am; so sorry if it is a mess.

--

Can you pick Mei up for me? I have to work late.

You sigh looking down at the text from your sister, this is the third time in the last few weeks she’s sprung this on you. Despite knowing there’s nothing she can do about it, it’s irritating with her husband traveling and needing to work. The one good thing is the quality time you get funny spoiling your niece after school, getting her whatever junk food she wants that your sister never lets her have.

Texting her back that you will, you go back to studying. Your final year of college has been more stressful than you expected, work always piling up with your motivation lacking. No wonder so many students take an extra year. However, you were determined to finish now and not extend your torment any longer.

Glancing at your phone you see it’s nearing pick-up time at Mei’s school. You clean up the library table, shoving your laptop and notes into your bag, and leave. The drive isn’t long, her school is close to your apartment and sister’s house so you would have needed to take this route anyways. Pulling into a free spot near the school, you leave your bags in the car going out to meet her by the school’s front gate.

“Big sis!” Your niece squeals and you look up from your phone. She’s dragging another little girl behind her, pulling her your way. “This is Kaiya! She’s my best friend. She said it's okay I use her first name, so don’t scold me like momma does! I let her call me Mei too!”

You laugh listening to her babble on about her new friend. She’s coming up on her 6th birthday, and every day she is growing more and more into her own personality. “I wouldn’t scold you like your mother. You know that,” you bend at the knees, getting at their height.

“Hi Kaiya, I’m ----. It’s nice to meet you.” You shake her little hand and she smiles.

“You’re very pretty, like Mei.” She pulls her hand away and then her lip pouts. “I wish I had a big sister.”

“I can be your big sister too if you want. Mei, you don’t mind sharing me do you?”

“Only if you promise to get me ice cream.” Her eyes and nose squint and she laughs, her mischievous face has stayed the same since she was a toddler. It’s impossible to resist.

You stand up, rubbing her head and laughing. “Fine, we can stop by a shop on the way home.”

“Sorry,” a deep male voice comes from a few feet behind you. “I had a work thing... I’m sorry I’m a little late baby.”

You watch as a tall, broad man picks up Kaiya while she giggles and wraps her arms around his neck while squealing ‘daddy’. You smile politely when he looks at you. His face is handsome, features not too sharp or round; everything about it warm and inviting. He’s still dressed in his uniform, well besides the jacket. You assume he’s a part of the police force from the pants and belt he wears matched with a dark blue shirt that clings to his form.

“I hope she wasn’t bothering you,” he says while setting her down.

“Oh of course not. She was very polite and well behaved. You’ve raised a great daughter.”

He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “Thank you. I’m Sawamura Daichi, and you are?” His smile is so cute, you think. It’s not forced or out of politeness, but instead genuine happiness.

“---- -----,” you tell him and shake his hand. He squeezes it once, and your stomach turns. What was that?

“Is Mei yours?” He tilts his head, eyes going between you and your niece. “I’ve never met her mother, only your husband. Kaiya talks non-stop about Mei when she’s home with me.”

“Oh, no-no. I’m her aunt. My sister works a lot, so I pick her up from time to time.” You laugh. “I go to the local college, so it’s close by. It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Sawamura.” Trying to keep yourself from becoming too flustered, you look away. Watching as your niece digs through her backpack for some reason.

“Please, call me Daichi. It’s nice to-”

“Daddy, big sis is taking Mei to get ice cream!” Kaiya cuts him off. “Can we go too? Pretty please!” She kisses her father’s cheek, smiling brightly as he sets her back down. She holds tight to his hand, begging some more.

“If it’s okay with your dad, we don’t mind. Do we, Mei?”

She nods with a big smile. “Kaiya they have the BEST strawberry flavor.”

“Do you mind? I don’t want to impose on your time with Mei.” Daichi asks while still keeping an eye on the girls, who have wandered a few feet away while blabbering about ice cream flavors.

“Of course not. It’s good for young girls to spend time together.” He nods and thanks you. “There’s a spot close by. We could walk if you don’t mind.”

“Better wrangle the girls then,” he laughs, walking towards them both and getting their attention.

Taking a deep breath and letting out a sigh, you try and relax. It’s just ice cream for the girls… even if Kaiya’s hot dad is coming along. You’re sure he’s just trying to be nice and let his daughter have a nice time. However, it’s hard not to feel something when a man this hot and good with children is around.

The ice cream shop has a pretty outdoor area off the back of the shop, fenced in with a swing set and other children’s toys and playsets. No one else is visiting currently, so the girls have the playground to themselves, running around with ice cream dripping all over the ground when they forget they should be holding the cones up. Sitting quietly, spooning ice cream into your mouth, you try not to stare at Daichi too often.

“What are you studying?” He asks, breaking the silence that was threatening to become awkward.

“Oh, uh,” you swallow the cold cream. “Literature and classics.”

“Interesting. I bet you enjoy reading to your niece then,” he smiles at you before taking another spoonful of ice cream. You can’t help but watch his tongue dart around the spoon.

“Yeah.” You say quickly looking away. “Mei enjoys it, well, when she pays attention. Does Kaiya like stories?”

“Her mother says she always listens to her when she reads, but for me, it’s hard enough to get her to go to bed. I don’t think she’d ever stay still to let me read her a book.” He continues to talk about the weekends he gets with her, and you listen closely.

It’s stupid, you think. You shouldn’t feel this excited that he’s either divorced or at least no longer together with Kaiya’s mom. It’s selfish, but lucky in some ways. You don’t have to worry about a jealous wife coming after you because her husband paid for your ice cream.

“I’m not around for bedtime, so I can’t really relate.” You say softly and stick your tongue out lick the spoon clean. Stopping yourself from licking the ice cream off, deciding to explain more, “Mei never really stays the night anyway. She gets too worked up without her-”

The spoon is plucked from your hands and you frown looking at Daichi, who has a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. “What do you like to do at bedtime?”

Your breath catches in your throat, and you stutter out something incoherent. Daichi’s tongue swipes up your spoon, and you watch carefully, longing to be that spoon as his tongue drags across it.

“Well?” He continues, then hands you back the spoon.

“I, uh, I don’t know.” You manage to stutter some words, even if it's not a real answer. “I uh-”

“It’s okay, sweetheart. You don’t need to answer now. Let me see your phone,” he asks holding out his hand and you hurry to hand it to him. He puts in his number then hands it back to you. “I’m not free on weekends unless I get a sitter. But, I’ll see you around.”

You sit, stunned by how quickly that turned from a polite playdate for your niece to potentially a playdate with Daichi. You bring your hands to your face, trying to compose yourself before waving at both Daichi and Kaiya as they leave.

“Big sis,” your niece wines. “Wanna go home.” She pulls you from the park bench and through the shop while you continue trying to collect your thoughts.

Did you really just pull a dad? There’s no way he was serious, right?

--

You texted him the night after you got ice cream, but he hadn’t responded. It wasn’t until late Sunday evening he sent back a short ‘you’re welcome’ after you thanked him for the ice cream. Your face burned and your stomach twisted with every flashback to watching his tongue slide across your spoon.

It was so unnecessary.

It was so hot.

Gathering up the courage to ask when you could see him again took another day and liquid encouragement. Maybe texting him while you were drunk wasn’t the best idea, but it did make sending him photos of yourself a lot easier. The ones you got in return nearly made you drool. Joining the police force ensured he never lost his perfect physique. Every inch of him looked like it had been handcrafted by the gods themself.

Slipping your fingers into your panties and toying with your desperate clit was all too fun when he called you late that night, not caring about his early morning shift or the classes you may have. His voice breathy and deep, yours whiny and high pitched when you came around your fingers begging him to come over and fuck you.

He only laughed, telling you to wait until he had a day off.

--

Sitting across from him at dinner should be fun. He keeps the conversation going and you always paid attention and politely answered. However, it becomes increasingly obvious that the burning between your thighs is becoming unbearable.

“Check please,” he tells the waiter, and you nearly squeal with excitement.

“Mind if I go get some fresh air while you settle the bill?” You ask, placing your hand over his; thumb drawing circles on the back of his hand.

“Of course, sweetheart.” He smiles at you and you walk out of the door, ignoring the way his eyes make you feel as you walk out the door.

Cool evening air hits you hard. Letting out another sigh, you laugh at yourself for acting this desperate in public. He must know. It’s not like you’ve been good at hiding it. You’re worse than a cat in heat, mewling for attention and a quick fix.

“Ready?” His voice startles you and you turn to face him. You nod and he extends his hand out for you. The walk to his car is short, and you’re grateful for the dim lighting in the parking garage once you slide into the passenger seat.

Unable to can’t wait any longer, you straddle his lap in his seat and he tilts his head, looking up at you in amusement. Kissing his neck, you run your hands down his chest and slowly grind against him. His firm hands hold your hips and you whimper, trying to convince him to give your body more attention.

“Daichi,” you whine against his neck. “Please, I need-”

You’re stopped as his hand takes control of your jaw, cheeks squished in his hand while he admires you above him. His gaze is intense, not a hint of a smile or enjoyment on his face, but the bulge in his pants hints otherwise. You frown looking down on him, irritated this is the most he’s touched you all night.

“I don’t like brats.” He says simply. “Impatient ones are even more annoying. Tell me, are you going to be an annoying brat?”

You try and shake your head no, barely getting it to move from side to side in his grip.

“Good,” he releases your face and you sigh. Rubbing your cheeks with your fingers you relent from trying the aggressive approach with him; seeing now he’s much less patient than you had expected. “Now can you wait until Daddy takes you home?”

You nod, a smile brimming on your lips while your stomach turns.

“I want to hear you say it.” His eyes somehow focus on you more, making your stomach twist once more.

“Yes, daddy.”

“Good girl.”

The rest of the drive is silent, his hand resting on your exposed thigh a little too close to the hem for comfort. It keeps your mind buzzing, every nerve lit aflame at the slightest bump in the road or motion of his fingers. His thumb occasionally draws circles on your sensitive skin, and the whimper that always leaves your lips feels embarrassing.

Are you really a whimpering mess already?

Everything about being with Daichi made you feel more intense like your body knew just how to react to everything he does and says. Was it the age difference and excitement? Or was it simply because he knew how to touch and speak to you?

“Sweetheart?” Daichi’s voice draws your attention and you look over to him. “We’re home now. Be a good girl for me, and go unlock the door.” He dangles the keys in front of you and you take them nodding.

“Yes sir,” you slip out of the car. Did you call him sir? At the moment it felt right, but now with your face burning and palms sweating you wonder if he thinks it’s ridiculous.

You unlock the door, pushing it open and standing awkwardly waiting for him to walk up the stairs to the front door. Why is he prolonging this? There was no reason for him to stay behind. Turning your head to look where he parked the car, you see he’s talking to a neighbor, laughing, and paying you no mind.

What’s his game here?

You huff, frustrated, and embarrassed with how desperate you’ve been acting and he seems to not have a care in the world. Stepping inside, you close the door and take your shoes off. He doesn’t mind you having access to his house with you unsupervised. After all, he did give you the keys to unlock the door.

His home looks comfortable and lived in, not overly clean but not messy per se. You sit on the couch, crossing your legs and laying your head back. While you know it’s rude to begin feeling this irritated, if something didn’t happen soon you were going to have to call for a ride and get home to a toy or even indulge in one of the sleazy dating apps you’re all too familiar with.

Pulling out your phone, you respond to a few notifications you garnered over dinner, nothing of real substance, but better than sitting in silence. A few friends have invited you to a bar not too far from your location, and you consider it, but the front door opening grabs your attention.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, sweetheart.” He smiles at you and you lay your phone down on the cushion beside you, feeling like you’ve been caught texting in class. “I see you made yourself at home.”

“Oh, I-” you stand up, even more embarrassed.

Does he take pleasure in making you uncomfortable or are you just too on edge?

“Sit back down,” he laughs walking into the kitchen. “Would you like a drink?”

“No thank you,” you answer quickly, sitting back down and laying your hands in your lap to fiddle with your fingers.

He comes back into the living room with his shirt unbuttoned a few, his chest peeking out, and a beer in his left hand. Sitting on the recliner adjacent to the couch, he motions for you with his pointer finger then pats his lap. Your body moves without thinking, straddling him with your knees sinking into the soft cushion of the recliner on either side of his hips. He grins watching your dress ride up your thighs before he takes a drink from his beer.

“Why are you acting so shy now? What happened to that confident little attitude?” He sets the beer down on the table between the couch and chair.

“Why are you toying with me?” You ask, furrowing your brow and tilting your head. “Just fuck me already.”

“There it is,” he chuckles. “You’re not as good of a girl as you think. You’re nothing more than a spoiled brat who needs put in her place. Lucky for you, I know just how to handle bratty girls like you.”

His thumb pulls on your bottom lip and you part them, letting his middle and index finger slip in and press against your tongue. You moan at first, grinding your cunt against his thigh before his fingers slip further in and make you gag. Closing your eyes you grind on him harder, the gagging only intensifying and your body lighting on fire.

“Pathetic,” he laughs while resting his cheek against his hand. Opening your eyes more you see he looks unamused, even as he shoves his fingers down your throat more. “Moaning like this over what? I’m barely touching you.”

You moan again, pressing your core harder on his thigh and whining. Your fingers dig into the arm of the recliner, steadying yourself while you ride his thigh. It feels too good to stop, the minute amount of pleasure intensified by Daichi’s fingers in your mouth.

“Maybe I was wrong,” his voice making you whine again. “Maybe you’re not a brat, just a dumb little slut desperate to cum.” Removing his fingers from your mouth, you take deep breaths, coughing and leaning your head on his shoulder.

“P-please,” you beg. “Please fuck me, daddy. Wanna feel you in me. I’ll be good, I swear.” You sound desperate, you know it and so does he.

“Do you think you deserve it?” He rubs the spit from his fingers onto your cheek while holding your jaw. He shakes your head back and forth slowly as a no for you. “That’s right. You don’t deserve daddy’s cock.”

“B-but-” you whine and grind against him. “Please!”

“Hmm,” he hums, releasing your jaw and licking his fingers clean before taking another sip from his beer. “Maybe if you earn it. I’m not in the mood to fuck an ungrateful whore.”

“Anything!” You nearly shout, eager to please him.

How you’re feeling is different than usual, the need to do whatever Daichi wants completely takes over your own desires. While the feeling is new, it’s something you want to continue to chase. Your head feeling lighter and body burning is all too good to give up now.

“Do I need to tell you what to do?” You nod. “Of course,” he chuckles, “silly of me to forget you’re nothing but a dumb brat. Get on your knees in front of me. Put that mouth to good use for once, won’t ya?”

“Yes daddy,” you say quietly, sliding onto the floor and tugging at his pants.

His belt is a struggle, and he makes no attempt to help you until you’re sliding his pants and boxers off and he lifts his body up just enough to get them down his thighs. Gripping his cock, your mind races wondering if you’ll even be able to fit his girth in your mouth as your fingers barely manage to wrap around him.

“If I finish this beer before you make me cum, I might not fuck you at all.” He says tapping your forehead with the cold glass bottle. “Do you understand?”

You nod again and he leans back into the recliner. Precum leaks from the tip and you wipe it up with your tongue, enjoying the taste as it floods your senses. As your tongue swirls around the head and your warm mouth takes him in, he moans.

It’s quiet and short-lived, but enough to encourage you to take more of him. He fills your mouth so quickly, but you’re determined to make him cum; unsure if it's because you’re desperate to be fucked or if you just really want to please him. Either way, you’re going to have him cumming in your mouth in minutes, you know you can.

You gag loudly when you force him into your throat, nearly taking him to the hilt. This time his moan is louder and longer, making you buzz with pride. Managing to keep him deep in your mouth you rub his balls with your shaky fingers while setting a steady pace bobbing your head up and down.

“Fuck,” he groans. “I guess that mouth is useful for something…” another moan breaks his last word but you don’t care.

The condescending praise just enough to make you hum against him with glee. He bucks his hips when you do, his fingers tangling in your hair and forcing you to choke on him again. You claw at his thighs, desperate to come up for air while you fight against him. He releases the tight hold and you take him out coughing as you stroke him with your hand.

You watch with a frown while he drinks on his beer again, watching carefully as the faint line of liquid lowers nearing the bottom of the bottle. You can do this, you tell yourself before taking a deep breath and taking him back in your mouth. Humming against him lightly while massaging his balls in your palm earns the same reaction, except you’re better at keeping a steady pace now.

“Shit,” he groans.

His cock twitches against your tongue and warm spurts of cum coat your mouth before you can swallow fast enough. He pulls you off his cock by your hair.

“Tongue,” he says and you stick it out timidly.

He spits on your tongue before pulling you to his face and kissing you, his tongue invading your mouth and making you gag at the taste of his beer. His kiss takes your breath away, literally struggling for air as he continues. You’re coughing and pulling away from him while a mix of spit and cum runs down your chin.

“I didn’t think you could do it,” he admits. “I’m surprised someone as desperate and stupid as you could make me cum that fast. I suppose I should reward you then, hmm?”

“Please daddy, please,” you beg. “Want your cock in me so bad.”

His hand slips under your dress and rubs against your soaking panties. “You really do want me, don't you baby?”

You nod.

His free hand gropes your breast, pinching your nipple through the thin material of your dress. You close your eyes biting your lip as you enjoy the not so soft touches he gives you. You moan when his fingers slip into your panties, sliding against your puffy clit.

“Daddy!” You squeal when his middle finger slides inside of you and curls. “Fuck, more please.”

He laughs, pulling his finger out and standing up. He sheds his clothes while you remain on your knees in front of him. You can’t help but admire how good he looks above you like this. Honestly, you think you’d do anything to remain in this moment even if the anticipation of him splitting you open is forcing you to clench around nothing.

Daichi offers you his hand and he assists you in standing to your feet, but it doesn’t last long. He bends you over the arm of his recliner in seconds, pulling your dress down and allowing your bare breasts to fall from it.

“Tell daddy what you want,” he teases while rubbing his cock between your folds.

“Want your cock!” You turn your head back to look at him. “Please, I need it.”

“Good fucking girl,” he groans while sliding inside of you.

Even with your intense arousal and the spit on his cock, it stings. Your body goes limp against the arm of the recliner as you try and relax your body to let him in. Crying into the cushion, you try to not be too loud while getting used to his size.

“If I’d known you’d be this tight, I would have fucked you sooner,” he says after fully sheathing himself inside of you.

He isn’t nice enough to give you more time, too overwhelmed with the way you squeeze him so nicely to not start thrusting immediately. You cry out when his cockhead hits deep inside of you, pulling against your walls as he pulls back out only to do it all over again.

It hurts. It feels ethereal.

“Daddy!” You whine as his fingers twirl your nipple between them and he holds you back against him while relentlessly pounding into you. “Too much!”

“Be a good girl,” he hisses. “I know you can take it.”

You whimper in response, his thrusts forcing your breasts into his hands while he continues to assault them. Your thighs begin to shake and your core feels like it’s a tightwire about to break.

“Wanna cum!” You tell him, some part of you knows it's better to warn him or ask instead of letting yourself go. “Please, daddy! Let me cum.”

“Aw, my little slut is learning,” he chuckles, thrusting deep into you and letting you fall back onto the recliner. “Go ahead, cum for daddy. Cream all over my cock sweetheart.”

He hits the sweet spot inside of you once more and you come undone, cumming around his cock and crying out a mixture of daddy and curses. He grunts as you clench around him, body pliable for him to hold you closer while rapidly fucking you.

He cums, and you feel it drip out of you around his cock before you comprehend what’s happened. You’re too fucked out to even care if you’re honest. He pulls your panties back to the side as he pulls out of you.

“You’re going to keep it all in, aren’t you?” He pulls his pants back on, leaving his shirt on the floor and sitting on the couch.

You nod, pulling your dress back over your breasts and adjusting the thin straps back to a comfortable position on your shoulders. He pats his lap again, and you sit across him, wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your cheek against his shoulder.

A knock at the door startles you and you look at Daichi with a concerned face.

“Oh,” he laughs. “I lost track of time. Can you get that?”

You sheepishly nod. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I need to go grab something from my room. I’m sure you can handle it.” He disappears down the hall.

Running your hands through your hair to make sure you don’t look crazy, you open the door.

“Oh,” a sharp tone greets you.

“Big sis!!” Kaiya screams, jumping up and down and running inside.

Shit.

“Uh,” who you assume to be her mother says shaking her head. “Is Daichi here?” She’s irritated, and reasonably so. “I need to speak with him immediately.”

“Yeah, he’s right-”

“What do you want?” He appears back into the living room, pulling a loose shirt over his head as he comes in.

He easily could have done that before. Is he doing this on purpose?

Oh god, he is.

You look quickly between the two of them as he steps in the doorway with you, wrapping his arm around your waist.

“I think we need to speak in private.” His ex tells him, eyeing you up and down.

“Sweetheart, do you care to take Kaiya to her room to play for a few minutes?” He kisses your forehead and you look away from the intense glare you receive from Kaiya’s mother.

“Daichi! Why are you-”

“Stop,” he says loudly. “---- can watch her for a moment.” He lets go of you.

“Can you show me your room Kaiya?” You ask sweetly and she takes your hand and guides you down the hall.

You’re not sure if you’re grateful Daichi got you away from his ex or if you’re happy Kaiya won’t have to see her parents bicker. Either way, it’s a win for you. Your heart is beating against your chest, making you nauseous. There’s no way he just forgot he was getting his daughter tonight.

You’re flattered that he used you to make her angry, but the more spiteful part of you wishes he had let you in on it a little more. Having you answer the door was good, but you could have left your hair a mess or something more…

“Big sis, why are you here? Did you and daddy have a playdate?” She asks, handing you a stuffed rabbit while you sit on the floor of her room with her.

“Uh,” you giggle. “Yeah, we had a playdate.”