#before that i was into chicken

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

[acorviart]

you telling me this rotisserie really rotisseries??

shop update on june 15

[azuneekun]

Shane's getting ready for the day 🐔☀

[lucabyte]

siffrin starts the game with oddly empty pockets for a rogue who has a habit of stashing away every little trinket that isn't nailed down

and a hardy pocketwatch is an indispensable tool for oceanic navigation

[maidenofcrows]

Having thoughts about Kaz Brekker being a farmer’s son. They call him Dirtyhands, but his hands were supposed to be dirtied from tending the earth, not from the blood of the people he’s killed. Or something.

[vellichorom]

we've waited all 8 years, to fi~na~lly bring true our fears; newcomers to watch us play, & veterans rejoice - it's our day! 🎉

[rae-blu]

I'm usually too shy to ever draw ship art, but PittedPeaches broke me

If you haven't, please go read this fic I love it a lot

[rambles-about-minecraft-ocs]

one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible

like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that

[hotcinnamonsunset]

a knitting pattern you don’t want to chicken out on😉🐓

[hedgehog-moss]

Various ways in which I have underestimated my chickens (callout post to myself):

cognitive abilities (memory): I dropped some pasta while making a salad earlier and Louise was nearby so I opened the door and invited her into the kitchen to come clean up. At first she just meandered round the room glaring suspiciously at furniture because she's unfamiliar with the inside of my house, then I helped her locate the pasta and she pounced, but before she could eat all of them Morille came zooming across the room with Pandolf zooming behind her, which freaked out the hen who noisily flew-ran out of the room. She stayed away long enough that when I called her inside again I expected her to have forgotten all about the pasta, and that I would have to show it to her again, but instead she went straight for it, resolutely, having clearly kept this important goal in a corner of her teeny tiny mind this whole time.

hunting abilities: before getting chickens I didn't realise they actually hunted? (sometimes.) I pictured their search for food as quiet foraging, busily scratching the dirt for worms, but a) hens are never quiet they're always chattering to each other so already that part was wrong; b) when they find a worthy prey they hunt it with the fierce determination of a mountain lion. I once saw Dru chasing a grasshopper across half the pasture, running at full chicken speed and sometimes boosting herself with her wings Mario kart-style while the grasshopper desperately hopped for its life, until eventually she pounced with her beak wide open and managed to catch it mid-jump. With an action movie soundtrack this scene would have been every bit as intense and gripping as a cheetah hunting a gazelle in a wildlife documentary.

social abilities (empathy): one time Cordélia had a little bit of grass stuck in her eye and she kept rubbing her head with her claw to try and dislodge it unsuccessfully, and then she seemingly asked Dru for help, placing her face very close to the other hen's face like "see that stupid twig?" and Dru removed it with her beak. Again that's not something I would have expected from a hen... they're very disloyal creatures, so it was fascinating to see. They would stab their grandma for a dusty rigatoni but leaving a friend with something stuck in her eye is apparently a level of antisocial even chickens won't cross.

social abilities pt.2 (romantic sensibility): sometimes when the night sky is clear and you can see the Milky Way, instead of tucking themselves in at sundown like they usually do, they'll fly to the roof of their coop and sit there for a little while to watch the stars together. Okay this one may be a tiny bit less scientific an observation than the others but I don't have an explanation for this behaviour; I've never noticed anything wrong with their coop on these particular nights, the door is open, they can go in—and the girls don't seem stressed at all, if anything they look like they're having a nice peaceful moment and I feel bad for bothering them.

[satans-knitwear]

okay, i think im ready to go now. ✨

Treat me ~ Tip me ~ More of me

[loverboybreakdowns]

everyones all “oh lots of autistic ppl are picky eaters thats totally understandable!” until youre a “”food snob”” picky eater instead of a chicken nuggies picky eater

like sorry i love sushi and toast with nutritional yeast and tiramisu when your 5 year old cousin only eats chicken wings w ketchup its almost like autistic ppl arent a monolith 😐

[sugarbear2001]

There is hope for opla sanuso trust and believe. Side note can someone with artistic talent please redraw this with anime Usopp and Sanji.

[akiraal]

it's time to klance-fy bro movies

[starry-bi-sky]

tales of the passerine - danny fenton being bruce wayne's first kid

okay okay. so this is like a continuation/elaboration of my oneshot/prompt i wrote about the idea that Danny was the first batkid. We have a lot of aus where he joins the family after the rest of the bats do, right? So hey! Lets shake things up a bit. Danny is the first to be adopted by Bruce Wayne.

Danny's parents and unfortunately Jazz die shortly after the events of TUE -- how so? I was gonna say an ecto-filter explosion, that would call back to the TUE explosion and trauma behind that. But lets do something new! Carbon-monoxide poisoning.

It's not too unexpected for something to break in the Fenton house, especially with the Fenton parents' questionable understanding of proper weapon handling and lab safety. The water heater broke from a stray shot by one of the weapons, and was promptly MacGyver'd incorrectly. Danny went to stay with Tucker for a guys' night, and came back to a dead silent house.

(Danny's neighbors got a very unfortunate shock when he ran to the next house over in hysterics.)

There was a lot of shuffling around with CPS, the police. People had to be called in to handle the equipment in the lab, and the GIW was rumoring to show up in aid to clearing the scene. When Danny heard of that, he immediately went and dismantled the ghost portal to the best of his abilities. He burned the physical blueprints of all his parents' inventions, their blueprints on the ghost portal, and their most dangerous weapons were destroyed beyond recognition. Anything to prevent the GIW from getting their hands on his parents' tech.

It opened up another investigation, but he was not under the list of suspects. He was placed in the care of Vlad Masters, where they then went back to the rebuilt castle mansion in Wisconsin. Danny, terrified of the future that has once passed and may do so again, shuts down in his grief. Inadvertently, he ends up somewhat repressing his ghost half. Something Vlad, who is grieving Madeline but relishing in Jack's demise and his custody of Daniel, is not very happy with.

Vlad's... gone into a bit of a mental health spiral. He's becoming increasingly possessive over Daniel, the final remnants of his friends and a liminal being like him. He doesn't like that Danny's repressing his ghost half -- both out of genuine concern as a ghost, but also because of his desire to control Danny and groom him into the perfect son. If you ever had a phase where you read Dark SBI found family fics, first off; me too bro, and second off; those are the vibes I'm thinking of.

Danny's mentally shut down from grief! And fear. He's dropped into a bad depressive state -- paralyzed with grief and the terror of the inevitable. Clockwork saved his parents because he believes in second chances, but what's the point of that when his family ended up dead anyways? Danny doesn't wanna believe that he's destined to become evil, and he's holding out onto that hope, but it's a thin line, and he feels utterly hopeless and trapped. He hasn't used his powers or ghost form since he trashed the lab, and Vlad has alarms set up to prevent him from trying to escape.

He's also unintentionally cut off Sam and Tucker -- both of whom are so scared and concerned for Danny too, and are trying their damndest to reach out to him. He keeps ignoring their texts. Danny basically haunts Vlad's manor. He goes out to eat if he has to, attends parties Vlad drags him to, and stays in his room all day if he can.

At parties, Vlad doesn't allow Danny to leave his side, or really talk to anyone -- not that Danny wants to. A product of Vlad's increasing possessiveness. Well, he almost doesn't let Danny leave his side. Danny has a habit of slipping off to hide somewhere for the parties whenever he can, and Vlad reluctantly allows it so long as he stays alone.

This becomes an advantage when eventually, Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham after missing for years, and holds a bright charity ball to celebrate the return. Vlad has been chomping at the bits to get his hands on Wayne Industries, and with the return of its owner there is no better opportunity to wipe out his rival. He goes, and he as normal, brings Daniel with him.

Vlad thinks Wayne will bleed his little heart out for Daniel's poor orphan sob story -- he's a fellow orphan himself, after all. He's not wrong; Wayne's little heart will bleed, just not in the way that benefits him.

Bruce sees Vlad and Danny approaching before they're even close enough to introduce themselves - and like with many of the children he will soon come to care for, it's like someone set a mirror into the past right in front of him.

Danny Fenton's suit is tailor-made for him, and despite the fact that it's his perfect size, the sag in his shoulders, the ducked down head, and the way he hunches into himself all pictures the image of a child in shoes too big for him. There's a far away, glazed over look in his eyes and grief marble-cut into the lines of his face. There's not enough makeup in the world that will hide the dark circles under his eyes.

("My nephew, Daniel Fenton." Vlad's hands are possessive on Danny's shoulders. Bruce immediately notices the way the boy tenses under his touch. "His parents passed recently, and as his godfather I was designated his guardian.") ("I'm so sorry, the loss must've been terrible.") ("Yes, carbon-monoxide poisoning caused it. Daniel was out with friends, when he came home... they had already passed.") (Bruce immediately dislikes that Vlad shared the details of their death unprompted -- he likes it even less when Danny flinches at the reminder and hunches into himself.)

Danny runs off at some point earlier into the charity. At this point, parties are still being held at Wayne Manor (because iirc google search mentioned that was a thing at first before it was changed), so he disappears and hides in one of the empty rooms nearby. It just so happens to be the same room Bruce Wayne hides in when he needs a break from all of the socialization.

Thus begins a long, long process of trust. Bruce can't reveal his hand as being smarter than he looks, but he can be compassionate. Kindness needs no measure of intelligence. He keeps Danny company for as long as he can before he runs the risk of being found.

Rinse and repeat. Vlad insistently wants Wayne Industries, and he'll go to as many Wayne parties as he can to get his hooks into the man. The problem is that Bruce Wayne is never alone, and getting him alone is impossible. Finding him too. It's like the man never stops moving. Always talking to someone, always circling somewhere. He orbits around the room as if he isn't the sun of the Gotham Elite's solar system.

Danny's had such repetitive behavior that Vlad never thinks to believe that Bruce Wayne is disappearing to go talk to him. That "Vlad's" son is even interacting with him at all. Danny never gives him a reason to think so, and neither does Bruce.

Danny doesn't actually acknowledge Bruce until a handful of parties in, where he hands Bruce a small slip of paper he smuggled in that says; "don't trust Vlad". Danny's face stays carefully blank, but he's so tense that his hands are trembling, and he's purposely looking away from him. Bruce plasters a smile onto his face, slips the paper into his pocket, and tells him "okay".

(he's been busy with his own goals with the mafia, but he sets aside time to investigate Vlad Masters. He was holding off. Until now.)

Danny does eventually start speaking to Bruce, he's starting to really like the guy. He's starting to see a little hope, even as Vlad is starting to get more and more agitated with him the more he refuses to use his powers.

He reaches out to Sam and Tucker again, and starts trying to reconnect with them. Vlad has spyware on his phone, and he limits the amount of times he can talk to them. A weird parental control lock of some sort that leaves a time limit on how long he can talk to them for. 30 minutes. Danny doesn't tell them anything about Mr. Wayne.

Danny, slowly, wants out of here, and he's slowly gathering the motivation to do it. Vlad is genuinely scaring him -- and Danny wonders just how truthful the past-future Vlad was when he told him that Danny wanted his ghost half separate. He starts trying to come up with an escape plan.

Vlad has anti-ghost wards everywhere around the mansion, and while they're always on, they boost to full power at sunset. The doors and windows are always locked, all main exits have alarms set on them. The only reason it's not super extensive is because Danny hasn't tried leaving at all yet, so Vlad hasn't had to tighten anything.

At night, Vlad locks the door to his room and puts up an anti-ghost ward around the room. The mansion is on the outside westward side of Madison, more entrenched in rural Wisconsin. The closest town is a four-way stop sign with one house on three corners, and an open bar on the fourth. Not much to go.

He refuses to go to Sam and Tucker; Vlad would look there first. It's too dangerous. Vlad would sound alarm bells and have a manhunt looking for him, Danny can't risk going just anywhere. Too much risk of being found, sold out, or caught. There's really nowhere for him to hide.

Until there is. Bruce is telling Danny about the history of Wayne Manor, and says, as casually as saying the weather; "The manor has dozens of empty rooms, I'm sure Alfred wouldn't mind filling another one if he could." And quietly, hesitantly, Bruce places a careful hand on Danny's shoulder, unrestrictive and gentle; "He wouldn't mind getting one ready for you if you need one."

And there it is. There's his out.

Danny, just as quietly, replies; "I'll keep that in mind."

The ball starts rolling.

Now I've been trying to summarize this au as much as possible for length convenience, but Vlad has been steadily growing more and more controlling. More emotionally manipulative. More agitated at Danny for not using his powers.

He wants Wayne Industries under his thumb but he's been steadily growing more and more concerned with Danny. He's started grabbing him, yanking him around, shaking him; trying to goad him into using his powers. He gets angry when Danny doesn't react, or tells him he doesn't want to use his powers. He hasn't outright attacked him, but he's getting there. This has been happening over the time it takes for Bruce to indirectly offer Danny sanctuary at his home.

It all comes to a head when Vlad stops going to parties at all -- something Danny has to pretend he isn't upset about -- because Vlad doesn't want him around other people anymore. Vlad rarely goes now without him, and only leaves to go to a Wayne function or to handle something at VladCo.

Danny can't wait for Vlad to leave long enough to escape. So he leaves during the night of a big storm. Vlad's locked him in his room, but Danny doesn't bother trying to go for it; he goes to the alarmed window instead. Danny's been repressing his ghost half so long that he can't access his powers immediately anymore -- he can feel it, he knows its there, but he can't quite reach it.

He breaks the lock by hand.

Immediately the alarm goes off through the entire castle, filling the room with red, and he scrambles for the rope the Wisconsin Ghost left for him a few months back. Danny's already out and climbing down the side of the castle before Vlad even reaches his door -- the only good thing about the entire room being ghost-proof is that Vlad can't get in that way.

The rope ends before it reaches the bottom, and he's still twenty feet in the air. It won't kill him if he lands it right. Danny takes his chances, and drops. He breaks his ankle, but he survives.

And he fucking books it to the back garden. He hears Vlad shrieking over the thunder and rain.

I'll save the full experience for a future oneshot, but Danny makes it out into the nearby woods and forcibly experiences what it's like to be in a horror game, trying to hide from the thing that's hunting you. There's only one thing going through his mind; "i'm going to die"

I have this mental image for this scene. Very stereotypical horror imo. Where Danny is hiding behind a tree, with a hand over his mouth, and Vlad is a few feet away from him, glowing ominously red through the trees, trying to search for him.

Danny doesn't get away from this unscathed, but he does get away alive. That's all he could ask for. He gets away by getting his ghost half awakened long enough to transform into Phantom and fly to Gotham.

But he gets to Wayne Manor, he gets to Bruce. Or, at least, Alfred answers the door from his insistent pounding. Danny's just in tears and Alfred gets him in the living room, wrapped in a towel, with ice on his swollen leg before he has to step out and alert Bruce.

Bruce already breaks multiple traffic laws on a nightly basis. And that's just with the sheer existence of the batmobile itself, not including the speeding and military artillery attached. He breaks double the amount trying to speed back to the cave and get out of the suit.

Right off the bat: Bruce will know, at least before Dick enters the picture, about danny's powers. He'll figure out something considering the fact that Danny traveled from Wisconsin to New York in a single night. That'll be a bit of complicated affair, but I've already got something in mind.

Actually it'll probably be very soon after Danny joins the family, because Bruce tries to offer to fight for custody for Danny - the state Danny was in at arrival is clear enough evidence for a trial. But Danny immediately shuts it down, says it's not going to work and then Vlad will know Danny's with him and he won't be safe. He tells him that Vlad cannot know Danny was with Bruce.

Danny's biggest regret was not telling his parents he was a halfa, and while he doesn't want to tell mister wayne (yet), he does tell him about Vlad being one. He needs to know why Danny can't be seen with Bruce. So he tells him, and Danny's current plan is to just hide out from Vlad until he turns 18. That way, he has no more legal jurisdiction over him. After that? He's not sure.

And to wrap this up, since this has already gotten very long and I can make more posts about this au later; I've thought about it, and I'm going to say that Danny does become a vigilante before Dick enters the scene. He goes by, as you probably guessed; Nightingale. "Gale" for short.

[cherryxblossxms]

🔞 Letting Buggy fuck his frustrations into you~

[nsfw obviously, afab reader, oral (m receiving), some degradation, rough sex, some ass slapping, creampie, followed by fluffy aftercare; a lil devil fruit misuse; 1.6k ahahahaha this....... was intended to be short idk what happened]

He's extremely hesitant when you first bring it up because he knows he's strong, and he never wants to bring anger into the bedroom. He's already anxious when it comes to his relationship with you, he wonders how he ended up with someone like you and if he even deserves you. It's a thought that's on his mind on a near-constant basis, though it improves over time. So the first several times, he adamantly refuses.

He still tends to fall back on old habits and mannerisms and it takes a lot for him to rein himself back in, control it so he's not causing harm to you. He already feels awful when this causes a fight with you that he didn't intend. So even though you're the one bringing this subject up, he's still worried that he'll hurt you somehow, physically or emotionally or maybe even both, and he'd never forgive himself if it caused you to leave.

It takes a while to convince him. But eventually, there's one day where seemingly nothing was going right. Buggy and his crew dealt with a particularly annoying opponent, destroyed a town but didn't get much loot out of it, and none of the crew members could seem to do anything right. At this point, all he wants is to shut himself in his room with you and forget about the world.

And then he remembers your offer.

The second he gets back to the ship, he's dragging you back to his cabin. He doesn't say anything at first, but you can see the gears turning in his head, thinking of what he needs to say. When he finally does speak, it's clearly with much effort over thinly veiled desire and frustration, asking you if you're sure that you want this.

He asks you not once, not twice, but three times. Even as you move forward to kiss his jaw, as you trail your hands over his abdomen and down to cup his growing erection, as he lets you brush your lips over his, he's still asking in between to make absolutely sure you're okay with this, because once you give the okay, he's not letting you go and he's not going easy. And it's clear how much he's struggling not to take you right then and there.

Finally, once he's convinced you understand what you're asking for and established a safe word and a call sign in case things get out of control, it's like the floodgates open. He's ripping your shirt open, buttons flying everywhere. You're on your knees before you know what's happening, face to face with the straining tent in his pants, and Buggy's hand holding the back of your head to keep you close.

He has you undress him, exposing his fuzzy chest and watching as you undo and tug his pants down, and his cock is so eager that it slaps against your jaw, catching you with his dripping precum. It's always intoxicating being on your knees for your captain, but it's even moreso as he directs you on how to touch him, no hands allowed. But you're happy to oblige, teasing him with your tongue along the side of his shaft and along his heavy balls, drawing out a needy groan from his painted lips before he's gripping your hair, indicating his patience is waning quickly. And you're not one to want to anger your captain most days, or deprive him of what he needs. So you happily oblige, finally taking him into your mouth.

He's a struggle to fit in your mouth on a good day, blessed with a thick curved shaft that always manages to make you scream, and it's even harder now that you're doing this hands-free. But as Buggy directs your movements, bobbing your head on his dick, it's intoxicating letting him control your movement. It also doesn't help as you feel a hand suddenly grabbing your rear, having not even noticed he detached one. He temporarily lets go of your head to detach the other hand, using them to tug your pants and underwear down your thighs, before one hand comes back up to continue holding your head.

As you keep sucking him off, it shouldn't be a surprise as his one hand slides between your thighs, lightly brushing against your clit and sliding between your lower lips. What does surprise you both is how wet you are, and Buggy has no shame in pointing it out, commenting on how needy you are, what a slut you are to get off on being used like this. Buggy is no stranger to dirty talk, (it's hard to get him to stop talking about anything truly), but this time it's obvious how affected he is by everything.

He's quickly pumping one, two, three fingers between your legs, making you moan around his shaft as he preps you for the main event. With all the frustration built up in him, it's not long before he's twitching, already ready to cum, especially as he gets to listen to your noises. But he wants to finally take you. He pulls you off of him, dick coated in your spit, and you look fucked out already, making him chuckle. Once he reattaches the hand that was fingering you, he's finally completely removing your bottoms and hoisting you up in his arms, letting your legs wrap around his hips as he presses you to the cabin wall.

It's a struggle not to scream as he immediately pushes in, still causing some stretch even with all the prep. And although his thighs are shaking with the effort, he gives you just enough time to adjust before he's pounding you into the wood. If the ship wasn't already rocking with the sea, you're sure his movements alone would have made the place shake, the sounds of your wetness and skin slapping filling the air. At one point, he adjusts his position so your legs dangle over his forearms, effectively folding you like a lawn chair and allowing him to reach even deeper.

Your first orgasm blindsides you, making you scream and shake in his arms as Buggy keeps fucking you towards overstimulation, his movement barely halted as you suddenly clamp down on him. He slows his pace, but only barely, just enough to tell you how good you are for taking him like this... but that he's not done yet. You can barely register his words before you're on his bed, face down and ass up, thighs trembling from your orgasm and a cooling feeling between your legs as your cunt is exposed and presented.

You can only imagine what a mess it looks like, especially given the pounding he'd just given you, before a hand comes down on your ass, snapping you out of your thoughts and drawing a cry from your lips. Now this is not unusual for Buggy, whose hands are always finding their way to your ass. He loves the plush, the jiggle, and he especially loves the noises you make when he slaps it. But of course, even that's short-lived as he grinds his shaft against you, still hard and aching to cum already, before pushing in once more.

By now, although he hasn't cum yet, Buggy is actually feeling better already. Just having you cum for him, watching your expressions and feeling the way you hold onto him, eased much of his frustration, now mostly replaced by just his usual hunger for you. So he's quick to snap his hips against yours once more, making you moan against the sheets as he sets a brutal pace. Once again, one of his hands separates to keep up occasional slapping, making you tighten around him, before it eventually slides between your legs against to circle your clit.

The sensations are too much, and you're babbling as such before you realize it, but Buggy is quick to promise he's almost done, just a little bit longer, you're doing so good for him and he can't wait to fill you up. By now, his body is pressing down on yours, warm and sweaty and strong, his balls and thighs slapping against you with each thrust, and his detached hand still toying with your sensitive pearl, trying its hardest to make you cum again.

The combination of things finally drives you over the edge, and your orgasm triggers Buggy's this time, making you both moan in tandem as Buggy presses in close, cumming deep inside as your cunt tries to milk him for everything its worth. His moans echo in your ear, hot breath panting against your shoulder as you two struggle for breath. It takes much too long to separate, and the ache between your thighs tells you just how sore you'll be tomorrow. But as Buggy comes into your view, now seeking to check on your wellbeing after fucking your brains out, you can see that it'll be well worth it, his eyes only filled with love and worry now instead of their earlier anger.

Buggy always struggles a bit with aftercare, but he tries his best for you, finding the cleanest rag he can to clean between your legs. Once you're dressed in one of his shirts, he's quickly pulling you into his arms. It's sweet, if overbearing, how he's checking in with you and asking you about a hundred times if you're okay, if he was too rough, if there was anything you didn't like or if he scared you. You might have to interrupt him with a kiss to get him to stop for a moment, but once he's reassured about how you feel, he'll finally relax.

When you first brought up this offer, he was so scared about how it would turn out, afraid to hurt you and afraid to scare you off. But now that it's out of the way and he knows you're okay, he might be more willing to come to you more often with his... troubles.