#being a gender is suffering

[earlgraytay]

Hey, PSA for younger/newer transmascs:

Tumblr has been showing targeted ads for "FTM binders" off Amazon. They look like this:

Do not buy these.

A binder is a piece of medical equipment. If you use one incorrectly, or use a poorly made one, you can really fuck up your ribs. This article from the Cleveland Clinic talks about how to bind safely.

A $14 binder is guaranteed not to be safe. There's a reason reputable companies charge more- sometimes a lot more. They have to carefully design binders so they don't crush your ribs or make you sick.

You know how everyone says Don't Bind With Duct Tape? Don't bind with Amazon binders.

[giyyu]

topless gojo at what cost… I SAID AT WHAT COST?!!!!

[sergle]

When I talk about something bad I've experienced, Baked In to my experience as A Woman, I am not "making my little cousins feel like shit for being women", because I am talking in a space with, allegedly, adults. I am not bringing my problems to children in the first place. That said, I don't HAVE to make my baby cousin feel bad, because she's already experienced sexual harassment in her life, and she's only 8, and doesn't even understand what any of it means yet. And everyone in her family can try to instill confidence in her, and never talk about our bodies in a negative way. But she can still feel like she's too chubby, because she still goes to school, and talks to other kids and their parents, and still sees ads, and still watches tv. We can be positive, but we can't fix the root of the problem. And I don't HAVE to tell trans women that "pain is a rite of passage", because that's not a Rule being enforced (by me), because I've already sat and listened to my friend complain about constantly shaving as a Baseline necessity and how it hurts her skin and she has to put makeup onto fresh cuts on her face because going out without a full face of properly feminine makeup would make her life worse, and being anything less than thin and lithe makes her "less feminine", and ALL the things that can make her "more feminine" are behind a paywall. And I can try to make her feel better, and I can hear her experiencing the tenfold version of problems I relate to, but I can't fix the root cause of her problems by just telling her not to complain. Forcing happiness as a core personality trait for women is not the Girlboss Feminist move that you think it is, and no amount of gender euphoria in the world will make you immune to systemic oppression.

[kthulhu42]

TRAs stop comparing women of colour to men challenge: impossible

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

Robin never really got boys talk.

When Sarah turned 14 she invited all the girls in band for a sleepover. It started out fun. After her parents went to bed they put on a creepy horror movie and watched it in a huge cuddle pile. They braided each other's hair and did each other's nails and squeezed each other during tense scenes and muffled their shrieks after a sudden jumpscare.

After that they watched another one. This time Sarah sneaked her mother's makeup kit down to the living room, and so lipstick and eyeshadow joined the mess of nail polish, hair clips and snacks already on the floor.

The second movie was different. In the first one, the blood was obviously fake and the acting wasn't the best (to say the least). But the second one was tense through and through. The cries of pain were so visceral that Robin shuddered, and in the end everyone was terrified. It was silently and unanimously agreed upon that everyone had had enough TV for the night. It was already 3 in the morning, but tomorrow was the weekend and right now Robin wouldn't be able to sleep even if she wanted to, and thus began Robin's first real boys talk.

It was funny at first. Sarah pretended to die of heartbreak when "the blond hot one" was unfortunately the second to die. Heather said the nerdy one with glasses and abs was cuter, which started a very heated discussion of whether blond or brown is the more attractive hair color. Robin had to defend her correct "redheads" opinion all by herself.

(When the others got into a stalemate Sarah turned to Robin. "C'mon", she pleaded, "you know that the blond one was hotter. Just tell us which one you found prettier! And don't forget that this is my birthday party."

Robin laughed at the ribbing, played a bit hard to get, until she finally admitted. "I actually found the first one who died the prettiest." Sarah was already halfway through her victory dance, when Robin corrected her. "No, I don't mean the dude. I mean the first one. The girl with the pink purse."

Everything was silent for a moment.

Then Emma laughed. "You don't have to be jealous Robin", she consoled, "you are also very pretty."

"Yeah, especially after our makeover!"

Robin laughed and agreed and continued on as if her world just hadn't been turned on its axis. Because she knew that the stirring in her gut and the beating of her heart had nothing to do with jealousy. She didn't find the blond one hot or the brunet one cute. That was the first time she really knew it. She liked the girl.)

It was a bit funny the first time, even though she couldn't really join. It got less funny the more it went on. Suddenly boys was the only thing everyone wanted to talk about. And worse: it wasn't just unreachable famous boys like singers or actors anymore. Suddenly it was all "oh, Steve Harrington is sooooo cute" or "oh my god, Tommy Hagan had suuuuuuch a glowup" and "I want to lick the sweat of his body after basketball practice" (this last one was applicable to multiple different people, including Steve and Tommy. It was not applicable for Chrissy when she exited cheerleading practice or Beth after football.)

She thought it would get better when Emma finally confessed to her crush and they actually got together, but no. It somehow got worse. Because "normal boy talk" turned into "experienced boy talk", and Robin wasn't allowed to admit that the only thing that got wet when she thought of Billy Hargrove was her mouth, because he made her want to throw up.

At first she'd say that she didn't have crushes. After a while of people refusing to believe her (even if she was telling the truth! Sometimes.) she started pretending to be into Steve Harrington. Every girl had a crush on Steve, so it made sense that she'd been embarrassed to admit that she was just like everybody else. He was way too far above her league for her friends to force her to "confess" and she could stare without fear when he passed by in the halls with the beautiful Tammy Thompson in his arms. Truly, it was a brilliant plan. It didn't stop the boys talk, though.

So she became a tomboy. She joined football and she hung out with boys and she cut her long hair into a bob. She lost a bit of touch with Emma and Sarah and the others, but she tried not to think about it too much. Instead she threw herself into sports and started hanging out more and more with Matt, the second trumpet in band.

And that was that. Sometimes she missed wearing dresses, but it was a relief not to have her mother insisting she "do something about that hair" anymore. She and Matt became best friends. She even considered telling him for a while. Until he sat her down and confessed his feelings.

She tried to let him down as gently as possible, and they never talked again. The cycle would repeat for multiple times.

Someone out there is laughing their ass off because who would have thought that the dude she pretended to have a crush on would turn out to be the missing half of her soul?

It started out like always. She teased him, he laughed. They suffered through customer service together. He was funny and surprisingly in touch with his emotions and apparently babysat a bunch of middle schoolers, which was equally hilarious and adorable to watch. They both enjoy sports and they both hate Billy Hargrove with a passion and Robin is heartbroken because she knows she can't get attached. She has already been through this too many times to allow it to happen again. She gets close with a guy, they become best friends, he confesses, she can't reciprocate, they never talk again.

This is what is going to happen. She should already be used to it, but it still hurts. It's better for her to keep her distance. To encourage him to flirt with other girls, even if she can see that he mostly does it to amuse her.

And then they uncover an actual real life Russian spy network right beneath their place of work like some fucking blockbuster. And then they are pumped up with drugs and the next thing she knows is that they are both throwing up in a cinema bathroom.

And then it happens. Of course it happens.

He starts his little speech and her heart is already breaking. She surprises herself when she realizes how much she started enjoying Steve's company. He is a dingus, but she is also a dingus and they just fit.

She is already preparing her apology in her head (oh fuck work is going to be so awkward), but what comes out instead is what she wishes she could've said every time this happened. What she wished she could have said every time she got close to another person, every time her parents questioned if she finally found a boyfriend. Something she really tried not to feel ashamed of, but it was so fucking hard when you had to keep it hidden all the time.

(She remembers when she used to train in front of the mirror. She would stare at herself and repeat again and again "I am Robin Buckley and I am a lesbian. I am a lesbian. I am-")

She doesn't breathe as she waits for what she knows what comes next. What has to come next. There is a reason she never told anyone, always kept it hidden and to herself even if she wanted to scream it into the world. He will mock her and he will out her and he will be disgusted and-

"Tammy Thompson?!"

Instead they have girls talk. And Robin finally gets it.

[mokeonn]

Gotta admit, I think a decent chunk of transmisogyny is based on the fact that so many people describe and see womanhood as suffering that they cannot stand seeing someone enjoy womanhood. The idea of finding joy in being a woman is so foreign to them that they simply can't accept that there isn't an ulterior motive.

[hannibal-is-my-comfort-show]

[bumblingbabooshka]

[TUVOKTOBER: Day 15] At First Sight.

[veintrry]

how he messes with you.

kaeya &/x gn!reader, fluff, teasing, just joking around together, can be rom or platonic, kinda implicitive at the end. I ACCIDENTSLLY WROTW A WHOLE SCENARIO FFS

an: im finally writing something for kaeya for the first time finally holy crap. TO KAEYA STANS, ILY, MARRY ME, MÍ BELLEZAS <3 🫶

i know that without a doubt of my mind he surprises you with his body temperature. You could be minding your business, but know that you are NEVER safe. If he sees an opportunity he will attack. A hand will crawl up your back, and he'll make sure you feel his fingers lightly touching your skin, leaving feathery sensations. However, that is only a warning as for what is to come, because he always. Always. Immediately plants his hand flat against you, just to snicker as he looks at your reaction to his ice cold hand. "Oh, I'm sorry. It seems my hand moved on its own."

The man is flirty, WE KNOW!! MOVE ON!! What about when you flirt back? I've been a true believer in the fact that he'd be taken aback at first only to begin a competition between you two as to who can say the cheesiest stuff or get flustered. Sometimes it gets to a point you guys literally call each other the corniest shit, "Honey bun" "Pookie bear" just in hopes of getting the other to throw in the towel, but it never works.

"Oh, you're making me melt, dear."

"Is that so? Then I should keep you in my arms so you don't collapse."

"Can you do this anywhere but here." Diluc hates having to witness your interactions all the time, he has the most scrutinising astounded face one could make.

> Catching him off-guard isn't exactly impossible, you've realise the way to do it isn't just intentionally being flirty, but giving him genuine compliments and kind gestures out of sheer will. Though he pretends like it has no affect on him, throwing you another sugar coated line of his, "I didn't know you felt so passionately about me, I'm glad. I'll do my best to match you then, hm."

I'm putting this in for my sake; flustered kaeya is a masterpiece. I think if the day comes when you get to see that man unable to gather himself is the day you know the Anemo Archon truly has bestowed upon you the best luck. Maybe the kind act of paying that bards bill served good purpose.

Kaeya's face would be a beauty to look at. It always is, but right now you wish you had a Kamera so you could keep this expression of his saved with you forever. Eye wide, as his icy glacial orb hold your figure in their reflection. His mouth agape, you can see how his mind is attempting to scramble for words, something to say- anything. There's a mix of an orange and red hue coating his cheeks, but the tips of his ears are on flames and you're glad that he ties his hair back because you get to see just how he looks. For the first time, Kaeya breaks eye contact, averting his gaze anywhere else as he coughs into his hand before turning it into a nervous chuckle. He attempts to use his hand as a cover for his face as he swallows thickly, attempting to collect himself. As if you'd allow that.

Grabbing the wrist of the hand that hides his flawless expression from you, you peer over to him and he stares at you, focused, his mouth pursed into a thin line as though he was upset with you despite not putting up a fight when you stepped closer. You gleam as you notice the small details of his face, his lashes fluttering softly, his eye lids narrowing onto you, the hair that frames his face failing to hide his emotions. You chuckle, "What a pretty muse you are.".

That seems to snap him out of it. He turns back into a coughing fit, before facing you again, that seductively menacing grin on his face again, but something is amiss; his eye tells a different tale, one that contradicts his confident stance. "Oh? I'm your muse, am I? If that's the case then how about we take this elsewhere and I'll offer you some inspiration."

[isa-ah]

like bro idk terf arguments against trans men sound the same to me as truescum did back in the day. YOU cant be trans that way because I cant be trans that way. just because YOURE dysphoric as a woman doesnt mean youre trans because I AM TOO. you CANT be trans because the liberation you tout has been stolen from me. like girl you can be trans too. get out of the fuckin echochamber and maybe youll start to feel a lot better about yourself and not need to cut down other people to feel something. maybe your dysphoria would be helped by transitioning. maybe it wouldnt. wont know unless you explore it though.

[earlgraytay]

Speaking as an anon on the other side of the transgender aisle: I'm coming to think of transmascs as existing on a spectrum from "actual transmasc" to "clever TERF", and the discussion you're currently commenting on certainly reinforces that. To be fair, however, if I were accused of existing on the wrong side of a similar spectrum from "actual transfem" to "clever MRA", I could hardly argue.

*nods* Completely understandable! there sure are a lot of people with shitty opinions everywhere, huh? :/

The spectrum that my Particular Experiences have given me is something more along the lines of "actual transfem" to "still an actual transfem, but one who wants me to detransition and/or die for dubiously feminist reasons". It made existing in the community hard for a while lmao.

[anxiously-sidequesting]

Susie Gryphonbane and Penny Dreadful are so powerful I never realized I had a crush on them as a kid before I even knew I liked girls

[citrine-elephant]

there is nothing strictly heterosexual about the way leon looks at other men, i swear

[goon-in-gotham]

Day 25 of Timtober - fear

[lostryu]

im a bi lesbian. i have only ever wanted to romantically date women, but i am once in awhile attracted to men sexually

i also date non binary people and my current romantic partner is nb.

i could fuck anyone, but i dont want anything to do with going on a date with or sleeping in the same bed as a man.

im curious why you have such rigid ideas of what these labels should mean and why you cant let people be whatever the fuck they want to be

Because words have meanings, and sometimes. Those meanings? The meanings that were written in the blood of lesbians? They’re not for you. Reading the beginning of your ask, it sounds like you are either Bi with a preference or suffering from serious compulsatory heterosexuality. Either way your biphobia (and enbyphobia) is showing and it’s ugly.

[ciderjacks]

Hey FYI killing or assaulting or raping a woman due to misogyny is a hate crime. It is as much of a hate crime as killing or assaulting or raping any other marginalized group due to bigotry and I’d appreciate if we stopped downplaying misogyny and misogynistic violence when literally every single woman I have met has at some point been a victim of misogynistic hate crime. No, men are not “also oppressed by the patriarchy”, if I see one more person make that claim I’m going to kill them. What the hell do you guys even think the patriarchy is. like. Ok. The patriarchy isn’t a gender norm system, that’s it’s own issue that tends to form under the patriarchy. The patriarchy is a system designed to serve men and oppress women, it’s designed so that men are able to obtain power but women aren’t. That’s literally all it is.