#believe it or not I actually finished this around New Years and forgot to post it here (whoopsies)

[twidara]

SPOILERS!! Don't read if you haven't finished the manga

A few months ago when I finished reading Nana, I went to the wiki to see if I could find any information about the birthday date of the children and only Satsuki had a date, that later I found out it was not an official information. This messed up a little the timeline I posted previously on my tumblr. So I made a new one!

Before I didn't believe that Nana could be Satsuki's mother, but after reading a post on reddit it made a lot of sense to me! (here)

Briefly explaining, the timeline is divided in two possibilities, first timeline we have Ren and Satsuki being Hachi and Takumi's kid. After, we have Satsuki being Nana's and Ren.H and being born in the same year as Ren.l.

The last information we have about Nana and Ren.H engaging in sexual relationship it's a day before the first show of Blast's tour (that was cancelled after Shin's prison), after this Nana and Ren.H fight and stop talking to each other. Ren.H gives the name "Satsuki" as a gift to Hachi in the doll's festival, so we find out that Nana forgot to take her birth control pills last time. 'After a month Nana should know if she was pregnant, right?' Actually, not necessarily. When Hachi found out she was pregnant, she was already 6 weeks pregnant (I think it would have taken her longer to realize if it weren't for the morning sickness). A month has passed, Ren has died, and Nana is in mourning. It would be difficult for herself to notice anything or anyone around her. So it's possible that Satsuki is Nana's daughter.

(I really liked this theory!! Happy new year guys!)

[farfromstrange]

Lizzi’s Valentine’s Special & Follower Celebration

Dear Everyone,

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and I thought, since this silly little blog hit over 1.1k followers yesterday, I want to give you something special.

First of all, though, I want to thank you. I’ve been on here since (and I checked with the archive) July 19, 2022. I can't believe that it has been almost two years. I started watching Daredevil after watching Spider-Man: No Way Home in December of 2021 and hearing Matt Murdock say, "I'm a really good lawyer," after catching a brick. So, I started watching the show, and that was during a time I was really miserable. Mentally and physically, I wasn't in a good place, but after watching Daredevil for the first time and falling in love with Charlie Cox as a genuine person and an actor, it felt like I found a reason to keep going.

I started writing fanfiction again, which I kind of neglected because I felt like this hobby of mine wasn't going anywhere. I wasn't inspired at all until I watched the show. If I hadn't, I probably would not have gotten back into writing and using it as an outlet for my feelings, and I probably wouldn't be where I am today. Thanks to Charlie's portrayal of Matt Murdock, and watching his interviews, I felt like I could do the things that I love again and follow my dreams. He's the reason I chose to major in English. And while I owe him that much, I owe you guys here on Tumblr and AO3 even more.

When I first posted here, I didn't think people would even be interested in what I had to say and write. But then more and more people started visiting my profile, you guys started following me, and it kept me motivated to keep writing, even when I'm miserable, and I sometimes only post once every blue moon.

I feel so honored that you guys chose to follow a silly little blog run by a silly little 20-something-year-old whose first language isn't even English (but made it her entire personality), and who chose to write about traumatized dark-haired characters portrayed by Charlie Cox. I'm overwhelmed by the love you continue to show me, and every time one of you chooses to reblog or comment on one of my works, saying that it resonated with you, I feel like I'm doing something right. I'm sharing my ideas, my own experiences, my wishes, and even my deepest, darkest dreams through my writing like it's a fucking diary, and you eat it up every single time.

I'm just so glad that this community exists, as chaotic as it sometimes is, and that you chose to stick around, even when I suck at keeping promises sometimes. You keep teaching me new things about who I am, my writing, and how important it is to put myself first. I don't know if you've heard it lately, but you guys are incredible and I appreciate the hell out of every single one of you.

Thanks to Tumblr, I made lifelong friends (especially looking at you, @blackshadowswriter) and found like-minded people that made me feel less alone. That alone was worth making this account and continuing to post on here.

You may think that I'm being dramatic, but for someone who has never really experienced the kind of validation this community gives me, I want to celebrate this milestone. It means more to me than I can even put into words. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I love you all so much! Please, don't ever forget how amazing you are.

That being said, I've got some exciting things planned.

The other day, I found a folder in my Docs titled "the vault". I completely forgot about it because I usually keep my WIPs in a different folder. As it turns out, I made that folder for fics that I originally never planned to post, or ones that I'd finished but wasn't happy with. It’s many, but it’s a few. Some are deeper than others. I also jotted down rough ideas and outlines last year that I stuffed in there, some of which I've actually shared with you but never started working on. Until now. And the contents of that vault are what I want to give to you now.

INTRODUCING: The Vault

6 stories from the vault. 1 bonus fic. 7 days.

I went through a myriad of emotions while I wrote these. For some, I actually bled my soul onto paper. For others, it was merely a brain fart that led to their existence. They're sad, horny, and at times angry, but some of those were originally written for me, and only me. Those that weren't started as a few sentences in a folder before I forgot they existed. Either way, I don't want them to catch dust. And I wouldn't want to share them with anyone else.

Starting February 14th, I will be posting one fic every day until February 20th. My “The Vault” works are Matt Murdock x Reader works, but I've made an exception for the bonus fic. I won't tell you what they are about, but I will give you a list of installments and what kind of fic they are so you know what to be excited about (and maybe which ones are not your cup of tea).

-> The number at the end tells you the date I will be posting it on, but I put it in chronological order as well.

INSTALLMENTS:

1. If You Need To Be Mean (angst, hurt/comfort) 14.

2. Mismatched Bridesmaid (fluff, smut) 15.

3. Weed Cookies (humor, fluff, cw: accidental drug use) 16.

4. the grudge (songfic, angst, hurt/comfort, cw: death of a parent) 17.

5. Halloween (Smut) 18.

6. I Want To Fuck A Priest (Smut, cw: priest!Matt) 19.

BONUS:

7. Now That We Don’t Talk (Part 2 of Is It Over Now?) -> Frank Castle x Reader (smut, angst) 20.

A few more words: You are free to send me an ask if you want to know more, but be prepared that I won't be answering in much detail. I don't want to spoil the fun. I would, however, not mind talking about them as vaguely as possible (if you’re interested).

Thank you all. For everything. And I hope you stick around to read these little gems.

With love from yours truly,

Lizzi <3

[greenplumbboblover]

Happy almost new year!

Yesterday I posted that whole "Top 10 Tumblr posts" but while that was fun to see, I figured I'd go through things I felt was a great accomplishment of this year for me. And some new years resolutions ;)

Accomplishments of 2023:

I made a website!

I know it's tiny and that it's not really great (yet) for getting tons of views, but I do want to thank everyone (I actually typed out all the names but tumblr was being stupid and I couldn't post the post then :/) for either giving it a try or using it. Without you, it would've just been a floating idea with no purpose. :) Thank you so much for believing in it!

I created a new sims story!

Gone a bit back to my original Simblr roots and made a story! Chapter 1 had been in my screenshots folder for over 2 years now, but I was just self-conscious about sharing it. I'm glad I actually got to terms that the only way to know if people will like it, is by sharing it. :)

Came back to Tumblr fully again.

Over those 2 years I hadn't really been on Tumblr much. I'd post my mod posts and that was it. Truth be told, I didn't really have much motivation to do TS3 stuff anymore at that time. But I think in the end I forgot how fun it can be :) I know I suck at interacting with people, though my anxiety often gets the best of me, and I'm genuinely sorry about that! I'm hoping to change that next year with some help.

New Year's resolutions:

I know most people probably didn't get through the whole thing because I type a lot, but if you do, hey there :)

Making Simblr.cc feel more personalized

I feel like currently it feels very download-oriented, which I'd like to keep! But that vibe also seems to be around with the more picture - oriented things. So I just want to make part of that feel more Tumblr-ish where it's just your personalized space. :)

Starting to sell stickers (and such)!

I know, kind of clique thing that everyone seems to be doing now and then, but I have seriously been loving to draw a lot. Though, my creative outlet only seems motivated when I do something for someone/something. So I was hoping to not just sell stickers for SImblr.cc as a donation thing, but also to make some of my own. :)

Finishing LISISV

I never intended to make LISISV like those shows that have been around for 20 years and going on. :p I know most of you do, which I love! But I'm not sure if I will be able to, lol.

I was hoping to rewrite the entirety of "Elly" which I did YEARS ago as a wee 14 year old (till I think, like 16?) but that's all basically teenage cringe IMO :p The concept and the characters however I always adored. So who knows!

Figuring out what to do with Interests & Hobbies

I keep promising that I'll finish it "after this mod" and I honestly do open it up, work on it for a little bit but then I start working on a feature and it... just doesn't work with the mod? However, the more I do that, the more 'bland' the mod becomes. So I don't know what do with it anymore 😅 Anyone who knows please help!

Unless you are all okay with remnants of it, which I'm doing currently :)

Making this space mod I have been wanting to do for a while

Not many people know this about me but i'm a huge sci-fi nerd :p And I wondered how hard it would be to make this “colonizing the a planet” space mod in TS3. Though I know that most people probably wouldn't care about that, since TS3 is more about generational things and... not so much about those things. So, who knows.

I guess I just need to sit down with myself and get my shit together, honestly.

Attempting to actually talk to others.

I don't know how people do it... I honestly want to keep tap of everyone I follow but I get so exhausted, if not, my anxiety starts kicking in because "what if I say the wrong things?" It's not just a tumblr thing though, i've been like that since forever, and maybe should just reach out for help for it. I just don't know.

I just feel as of late that people put great effort into commenting on my things and I'm barely there for them. Yet, just know that I am there, that I do think of you, i'm just deleting my sentences over and over again and just giving up. I'm genuinely sorry about that.

Hopefully your year will be nice and may your wishes come true :

[choicescorgi]

It has been so long since I've actually been on the choices app and involved in the fandom that all the new books is slightly overwhelming! Anyone (especially if you were around during the choices golden age in 2019!) have any recs?

Feel free to ramble about your favourite choices books in the reblogs and comments!

More info on my tastes/what Ive read below the cut!

Hoping to get back into the app with some replays (as I say once a year atp lmao) but I am also interested this time in reading some of the newer stuff! Execpt theres so much new that I dont know about and knowing that the app has gone slightly downhill since I was last properly active here I have no clue where to start!

Im a big lover of the elementalists and also loved desire and decorum, the royal romance (never finished heir), it lives in the woods/beneath, open heart, love hacks and rules of engagement.

(Edit to add that I love veil of secrets too! Can't believe I forgot to add it to my original list!)

I also enjoyed bloodbound but I still havent read past book 2. I was interested in reading perfect match and ride or die before I stopped playing the game as much!

Im really hoping that this post reaches some people, I would really love to get some book recs and also to reconnect with this community!

[hoopearringsunlikemine]

okay

don’t get me wrong. I LOVE THOMAS A WHOLE LOT! I acknowledge that he has been going through things with his personal life which created a big impact on the content being produced, and I understand that.

however, Thomas has repeatedly shown us different forms of content that ISNT the finale!!! He made a ENTIRE NEW SERIES before the finale! People have been paying him trumps arm and leg to make this series and the way he repays them is by making MORE ADS in the form of a minisodes!

Like I said, Thomas has been having many issues—and I am not mad because of him taking a break and time to himself! I’m upset because it feels like he is actively avoiding the final!

And when he says he gives us updates, there not update they’re VAGUE telling of actions. Think I’m exaggerating? I need you to think and think reaaaalllllyyy hard about the last time Thomas gave us an actual update? I’m not talking about thoes shitty “first page done!”, “fun day writing Sander sides.” I’m talking about “we finished up a couple scenes and it should upload around ____” , “we finished all the writing we should start filming ____” ect.

NEVER!!!!!

also Thomas made a post say it would be posted this year! Well you wouldn’t believe it, three days till this year is over and I haven’t heard a peep from Thomas or his team about when will see the episode.

and the way that he responds to people asking him questions about it is just so immature. He gets not only defensive, but passive aggressive to someone who was asking A QUESTION that was sensible to ask!

And I thought (ex) Fanders were crazy for say that this could just be the finale( of the series) and they wouldn’t be mad but it makes sense now.

I don’t want to be in a fandom where I am starved of content for years practically surviving off of minisode covered ads, and I don’t want the person creating it to be practically bending their back with task and other social medias just so we could get a episode.

lol so sorry don’t know were all that came from.

edit:

with Thomas’ latest update it does make sense onto why he did a big hold up (why didn’t he say it earlier??? I’m assuming for personal reasons?) most of my opinions still kinda stand. He was attempting to understand his characters more and it caused a hold up because all hell broke loose when Joan (I miss Joan) had to go. After Joan left he it caused a lot of panic to Thomas because he didn’t know how to write his characters…he forgot how to write his characters so he was slowly building back his characters and it’s been taking… F O U R y e a r s but it is what it is

[juteanworld]

October 3, 2023

Good afternoon, Tumblrini!

Blessed be your internet connections, for mine certainly was not last night, leading to me thinking the app had swallowed my post three times whole. Procrastination and distractions made me only get things done after midnight, when I no longer held the favor of the invisible internet iguanas.

Today!

Worked in a greenhouse!

And planted small seedlings into pots!

Every pot had its own Plant Pass on the side, to make identifying the plant and tracing it's origin easier.

Goals!

Due to procrastination and distractions I didn't get around to writing or reading last night again, this time I will try to at least procrastinate with them. 😄 Better would probably to block time for it, e.g. at 6 PM.

• Continuing with previous goals

• Reading 10 pages in a fiction and 10 in a non-fiction book

This should be the easiest goal and yet I keep putting it off as if I'm not ready yet, treating it like a solemn ceremonial ritual that I have to be in the perfect mindset for 😅

Planning to continue with Bid Time Return, set at the beginning of the 20th century, with the protagonist a British girl relocating from India, where she had been on many adventurous trips with her father, to Great Britain, where she inherited a large house, shares in a mine and meets the rest of her family who isn't very enamored with her free spirit and Buddhist tendencies, including an inclination to believe in reincarnation.

Found it in a thrift store in this small town I now live in and was amazed, so surprised, that it has descriptions of Tibetan culture and trips through Tibet 120 about years ago. It's been an inspiration for my worldbuilding and stories. But first I have to finish the idea that won the poll (and chronologically comes first anyway)

• Finish other homework (tulip research)

Don't know how I forgot about this, or why I put it off?

• Revise blog post entries of @taimemaailm and add at least one new entry

Using at least one of the new photos I took would be great!

• 15-minute writing sprint

I was amazed at how many votes I got on the last post – 15, not counting mine! On my first such post here no less.

A clear, absolute majority voted for option 1, another LGBT+ crime story based on my personal experiences and feelings, this time also set in one of my homelands, northern Germany.

While I had voted for another option, I will take the hint and work on option 1. It's something I actually started at the beginning of last year, it being the sequel of my first LGBT+-centric crime story, but then stopped working on last summer because I felt stuck. Time to get back to it. It had a lot of potential and early feedback was promising.

Perhaps I should post the first chapter on here, or a new writing-only sideblog?

• Add more worldbuilding documentation from my @ystel and @tropical-saa blogs to the wiki

• More worldbuilding in my desktop wiki

Until later, everyone!

[being-of-rain]

A stream of random thoughts from my Classic Who watch, now the second half of season 20.

20 seasons down! Not far to go before the end of the year. Also I don’t know when these watchthrough posts got so long; I remember when I just wrote a few sentences for some of the second Doctor stories. Apologies to anyone who are actually trying to read these, because I do not proofread them 😂

I forgot to mention it in my last post, but I thought it was funny how Mawdryn Undead started for the Tardis team; almost all of the Fifth Doctor’s stories start with a link to the previous story, but this one had the Doctor actually giving some explanations about the conclusion of Snakedance which we didn’t get in the episode. Speaking of, is the Fifth Doctor era the one with the most stories that follow directly on from the previous? Not even the First and Second Doctors were this consistent. I’m pretty sure a lot of the gaps Big Finish and EU stories try to find don’t actually work jsdlkfj. Pretty ironic that maybe the only story to not get an immediate follow up is Time-Flight, which readers of all my infodump posts know is the one I most want a scene immediately following. It did allow Big Finish to guiltlessly slip in months or years worth of travels with Five and Nyssa though.

Onto the new stories. Terminus is another one that felt like it could’ve been an episode shorter. Or maybe two. It started to feel a bit ridiculous when you watch Nyssa get carried away from the room she was being kept in just as someone was coming to rescue her for the second or third time. The first episode felt like the best, a bit more contained than the others in a different ship, and the reveal that it’s a plague ship at the end was very dramatic (until I couldn’t stop laughing at Olvir’s delivery of “WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE” anyway). I enjoyed the Tardis scenes at the start of the story. Turlough sneaking around and breaking stuff then trying to act innocent with Tegan is great. Please give us more fucked-up bastard companions, I’m begging. Also hey! A mention of Adric! I was honestly expecting there to be a lot more references to Adric’s death, probably because authors in the EU pick up on it a lot, but I was surprised that this is basically the only one so far since the middle of Time-Flight. So it was nice to see him mentioned here, even if it wasn’t in the most meaningful way. That said, it was a very nice touch seeing the same old props in Adric’s room as there had been in Earthshock, and Tegan almost absent-mindedly taking one as a memento. Other random thoughts. The skull door turning up in Nyssa’s room was extremely goth and cool. It’s an aesthetic that did get a bit old with the rest of the plot as the story wore on, unfortunately. There was some good and rather modern-feeling anti-capitalism thrown in there though. I didn’t take not of when “I’ll explain later” started getting common in the show, but it really feels like a staple of the Fifth Doctor (classic Five avoiding difficult conversations). The garn is adorable and helpful and I cannot believe anyone would scream as loudly at the sight of him as people do in this story. The creation of the universe is such a random-feeling thing to throw into the grungy little setting, and the destruction of the universe is such absurdly high stakes. Is it really that easy to create and destroy the universe? Damn. I almost forgot that this was Nyssa’s last story. It doesn’t feel particularly notable, and she spends a lot of time captured and unconscious. Oh and predictably, I loved the character moment in the middle of the story where Turlough asks Tegan if she could kill someone. I adore taking the characters who jar against each other the most and forcing them to be stuck together, like Tegan and Turlough in the vents here or Tegan and Adric captured together in The Visitation.

Enlightenment is good! Perhaps still slightly too long, but better than most other stories before it. The space ships are a very cool setting (very Treasure Planet. Has any other media used the idea?) and they get a very good dark and oppressive tone. Not in a way that’s immediately obvious, but a subtle way that you think about how small a ship like that is, and how it’s staffed by people who can read your mind and control the matter around you. The fact that Marriner started following Tegan around and not taking no for an answer made it all feel particularly claustrophobic and horrifying for her, so I can’t blame her at all for wanting to go back to the Tardis. This is also maybe the most interesting story of the trilogy for Turlough. How he uses his charming, weaseling ways to try and help the Doctor is fun to watch, it’s so different to how most companions operate. And I love that delicious character moment near the end of part two when Turlough betrays someone in front of the Doctor, and the Doctor looks disappointed and Turlough looks ashamed, but there’s a sullen air of something else too. Like they both knew a moment this was coming, but it was still awful for both of them to live through. Poor Turlough. I think it’s a shame he doesn’t get more golden opportunities to try to kill the Doctor in the trilogy, which would’ve made the whole thing more interesting. As it is he just doesn’t get many opportunities at all, and spends most stories just causing a little bit of trouble with the hope that it will somehow get the Doctor out of the way. I’m not sure the conclusion of Turlough’s arc at the very end of the trilogy is particularly satisfying either, with a symbolic choice to hand over the Doctor for wealth. I’d adore seeing this exact plot done again in New Who honestly, with a modern-day focus on character arcs and emotional storytelling. The way the White Guardian banishes the Eternals is pretty cold-hearted. It’s always strange to see some scripts have the Doctor act as though the White Guardian is the good guy, when even back in the 70s and 80s you can see the seeds that would grow into the idea that basically everyone has about the Guardians nowadays: that chaos and order do not equal evil and good. I’d also love to see the Guardians turn up in New Who incidentally. I don’t care if they’re unbelievable or inherently cheesy. It’d also follow up on the White Guardian’s warning at the end of Enlightenment that the Doctor should beware his third meeting with the Black Guardian... something that never happened on TV. I looked at the list of EU stories the BG appears in, and almost all of them are set before Enlightenment, only the Key 2 Time trilogy is set after it, and as fun as that depiction of the Guardians is, it doesn’t at all line up with the warning here. Random thoughts. I love how when Turlough is playing chess at the start of the story, he’s playing white. The Eternals say that they apparently hid the Tardis inside the Doctor’s mind?? Now that’s a throwaway line that you could write an entire script about. Nice to have an Aunt Vanessa reference for Tegan. I’d love to see the Eternals appear some more as well (Tardis wiki apparently counts the villains from Can You Hear Me? as Eternals because some short story said so, which annoys me a little because they’re explicitly not Eternals in the episode). Five in an all-black wetsuit looks fantastic jskdjf. Finally, after the last episode, I listened to the start of some audios set soon after it- Freakshow and Cobwebs. And is it just me or is Tegan written and performed a lot more aggressively in the EU? She was a bit more excitable early in her time on TV, but by Enlightenment she seems a lot slower to get into a fight. All of her issues with him on TV, which are few are far between, are quite tame compared to her attacks on him in Big Finish. I can’t yet tell if I don’t like the audios apparent flanderisation of her, or if I can appreciate them finding ways to make the companions more engaging, which Fifth Doctor era Who sometimes needs.

The King’s Demons is only two episodes, but even then it feels like a pretty weak plot to fill it. The way it ends after the Doctor and co steal Kamelion by bundling him into the Tardis, leaving the Master and his mess behind to sort itself out is weird. It’s so funny when Turlough calls the Master “whoever you are” near the end of the story, because you realise no one’s explained it to him. The Doctor and Tegan have substantial history with this guy, but Turlough’s just like “who’s this dickhead.” When the Master has Turlough at his mercy, I think it would’ve been cool to see him tempt the boy with power or freedom or something only for Turlough to shoot it down, just to show how he’s grown spending time with the Doctor. You know, the old special effects almost never bother me in Classic Who, and I can deal just fine with the slow story pacing. But the one thing I miss from New Who is the focus on character development and emotional growth, which I’ve said before. Idk if I’m using the right terminology to explain what I mean, but yeah. I adore antagonist-to-companions like Turlough, and I’d kill to see a good showrunner do a story arc with one in New Who. Give me a villain or hired assassin who we get to see grow bit by bit into one of the Doctor’s strongest allies, or even best friends. Also, at one point Turlough says of the Master “he’s the evil one,” and the emphasis in the delivery was so weird. The line was clearly meant to be ‘he’s the evil one,’ as opposed to the Doctor being evil, but it came out ‘he’s The Evil One,’ like Turlough’s gone all spiritual and giving the Master a title. I notice line deliveries like that surprisingly often in Big Finish audios, like the actors clearly misinterpreted what the line is trying to convey, and it always makes me feel like the director should’ve stopped to correct them. I guess there wasn’t much time for that in Classic Who though. I did just remember one delicious moment in the story when the King (actually Kamelion under the Master’s control) forces the Doctor to either let the Master be executed, or let an innocent man be executed in his place. I mean, morally it’s a pretty obvious choice, but the Doctor’s face when he’s forced to consciously condone the execution of his old friend, combined with the sting of realising that the Master had created the scenario himself to force him to admit it, was some tasty drama. It’s hilarious how Kamelion is introduced like a proper companion at the end when we all know his fate and the curse of Kamelion jsdkfj. Though it would’ve been cool to see him in more Dr Who stories, I really need to get round to the few audios with him in it. And finally, the Doctor is a real dick at the end to Tegan, damn. Chill out dude. First you leave Tegan behind, then you get so attached to her that you guilt her into staying with you.

The Five Doctors! A classic. And honestly, good pacing too! At least, it feels like good pacing 😂 There might be some parts where not much happens for a while, but there’s always fun things like fan-service to keep my attention. It being edited into one long episode probably helps, as opposed to being cut into multiple episodes that draw your attention to the fact that one or two of them barely have any plot in them jfsdkljf. Also I just checked, and it looks like The Five Doctors is the longest single episode of Doctor Who. I’ve got the TV Movie at 1 hr 25 min, The Power of the Doctor at 1 hr 27 min, and The Five Doctors at 1 hr 30 min. I don’t have much to say about it as a whole, so I’ll just go through my notes more or less in order! I love the new console reveal at the start, it’s lovely. And the Tardis team actually getting free time to relax is a cute change of pace too! Turlough doing some drawing is a sweet little hobby for him to have, and (thinking of Four to Doomsday) now I want him and Tegan to do some art sessions together, maybe rope Five into it as well. Tegan’s once again very put together in a crisis when the Doctor starts having his cosmic angst. I think the Doctor must have seen the potential in her when he named her as the crew coordinator to keep everyone together in Castrovalva, she’s really grown into the role. I wonder why Borusa chose to kidnap Sarah Jane- presumably the same reason he kidnapped the Doctor’s enemies. To play on the Doctor’s curiosity and need for a good story? I don’t know, he says something about “a game within a game.” Honestly Borusa acts fully cracked later in the story, not at all like any other depiction of him. It would’ve been nice to get more reason why he was acting like that. Maybe he’s just a fan of the K9 & Company spin-off. Though it just occurred to me that he also kidnapped Susan by herself, she was just the only protagonist to be shown getting time scooped. Shame, that could’ve been cool. Also with Sarah Jane, why was she so ready to ignore K9′s warning of extreme danger? Is he the dog who cried wolf before? And when he says that the Doctor is involved, Sarah dismisses him with “well now I know you’re imagining things.” Why??? Is she that pissed off at him for not coming back to pick her up again? Girl’s got issues. Also, she was extremely not here for this whole adventure, complaining the whole time. I think I would be like that if I had my day all planned out, I barely had enough social energy to run a quick errand, and suddenly I was transported to Gallifrey for an adventure. I’d be like “can I go back to my bedroom yet.” I’ve always appreciated how location shooting from the unfinished Shada was used so that Tom Baker could still be represented with some previously unaired footage. That’s a good example of using the resources available to you when your story hits a snag in real life. Three treats the Master so suspiciously, it’s hilarious. Seeing him casually steal the high council seal is so funny especially when you know he keeps it with him until all the way in The Time of the Doctor. I also got a laugh out of “Now what do we do, fly?” and “What are we going to do now?” “Die.” Keep living your best melodramatic life Turlough. Everyone i this story has garbage eyesight. Susan and One not seeing the Tardis in an open field until they’re like 10 metres away, Five and Susan and Tegan not spotting the Cybermen until they’re somehow surrounding them, the Cybermen later getting a full eyefull of Tegan and One before they duck out of cover. The staging of some of this story is just so poor. Is this a case of bad directing? Lack of time? Bad location filming? Some bits just make me think that surely, surely that could have filmed that better somehow. Five meeting Susan was so weird. She seems very excited to meet him, but he just stares at her starstruck and dramatically, and they end up just standing there looking at each other like the world’s most awkward family reunion. I swear to god, every second Fifth Doctor story has me wanting to grab his lapels and tell him to go to therapy jsdljkfhslkdjf. It was funny and cute how everyone (except One) in Rassilon’s tomb was excited to see the Brigadier. Team Tardis’ blorbo. Later when the Master turns up, the first three Doctors do a wicked combo dunk on him which is always funny to watch, but does Two even know who he is?? I suppose you could say he met the Master recently (in the EU) and quicklly figured out this is a new body, but I think its funnier if he just sees his other selves wrecking this random dude decides to join in just for fun :3 Gosh I love companion meet-ups in multi-Doctor stories, so it’s a shame that this story, and a fair few other multi-Doctor stories, are much more interested in the different Doctors interacting than their companions. Give us companions from different eras getting to know each other, or the Doctor chatting with a past or future friend. I’m trying to think of good examples, and one that springs to mind is the final episode of The End of The Beginning. And Daughter of the Gods. Even The Light at the End. And I really have to get round to reading Cold Fusion someday. Why is the First Doctor the one to figure out the trap of Rassilon when none of the other Doctors do? It’s weird when multi-Doctor stories act like the earlier Doctors are wiser than later Doctors purely because of out-of-universe nostalgia, when surely it should be the other way around. I like when One is depicted as the flawed adventurer that he is, acting like he’s wise and forging a new path when in reality he’s still taking with him a lot of the biases and things to unlearn from Gallifrey. Daughter of the Gods is good at depicting that (honestly it’s one of the best multi-Doctor stories ever, it does so many things well). In any case, the stone faces coming alive are still such a cool and unnerving effect that help to really sell the ending of the story. Also, I’d forgotten that Two has a line earlier about how there are rumours that Rassilon was a cruel man, it’s neat to start the start of the transition of the character into full villain. Is Flavia like the only member of the high council left at the end of the story?? Why on earth did they send high council members into the Death Zone to investigate it before the start of the story? If Flavia just becomes President by default, it’s little wonder her reign is mentioned to be a bit of a disaster in the EU (This reminds me, I’m excited to one day listen to Time In Office, the audio about Five being president for a bit). The episode has a great line to end on. And I like the end credits music as well! Gotta have some cool end credits music in an anniversary story I guess.

I’m looking forward to getting into more Five/Tegan/Turlough stories in season 21! They’re such a fun team. Again, apologies for saying so, but I think that losing Adric and Nyssa has left the show with the strongest actors and the most interesting characters. I’m looking forward to seeing how Turlough is characterised, and learning more about him in his final story. Also, since I didn’t find anywhere else to say it, I do like a characteristic hand gesture like the one Turlough does with his fingertips together in front of him. Going to pepper that into my own life for a bit just for funsies.

[silverchainbee]

stopping in to wish you a very merry christmas and happy new year if you celebrate and to also say that I saw that you tagged me on a post about that old prompt that I WILL WRITE EVENTUALLY I swear but I had. Covid. And then never got around to replying. I did write a whopping 300 words of an idea for it that technically removes the ice skating but keeps the icy lake part of it but still works cause it’s been however many years and we’re bending the rules around here and I accidentally deleted the thing cause I forgot I wrote it after and then scrambled to get it back—anyWAY I hope you’re doing and well and okay over there, wishing you nothing but the best!! ☺️🎁🎄

Merry christmas!!! It always makes my day when I see you randomly pop up in my asks so thank you for that! I've actually just come home from a VERYYYY LONGGGG trip overseas, and am sadly stuck in bed sick 😭 but i got like a million books for christmas and have a lot of cosy films to catch up on so im set!

As for that old prompt I really do love popping in now and then to mention it, no stress on finishing it, I still can't believe I requested that back in the day 😅 but if it does get finished I will be ready and waiting! I recently binged the Zombies re animated shorts (because I am very behind on those lol) and that spured me briefly back into the fandom and I had to revisit your old works I requested back in the day, hence the revisiting of the ice skating prompt and that old bullying fic you wrote 😅 still one of my favorites btw, cause I am very angsty hahah

I hope you are well and life is good! 🥰

[doki-doki-lesbians-club]

A little preview...

A cool, crisp October freeze drifted down the row of houses, neatly lined up beside the road. Flinging her front door open, a high school student rushed out, her brunette hair trailing behind her as she attempted to tie it back with a white ribbon. She was running a few minutes later than she planned, and set off speed-walking down the sidewalk. "Mooonikaaa!" No matter how late she was, Monika would always stop and wait for that voice. She finished with her ribbon as she turned to see her neighbor, good friend, and club vice president Sayori running to catch up. Sayori struggled to get up on time in the mornings, but she also loved walking to school with Monika, so they had a sort of unspoken deal: Monika wouldn't wait around for her, so if she wanted to walk together, Sayori had to get up. It worked, most mornings. "Good morning, Sayori! Oh, here, lemme just..." She reached up and straightened Sayori's little red bow, noting her unbrushed hair. "...there!" "Eheh, Moni~! I'm not your little sister or something!" She put on an exagerated fake pout, which made Monika smile. "You're right, but I still care about you, so I do my best to take care of you! Now come on, let's get moving; don't want to be late!" The pair headed towards school, Sayori smiling happily as Monika swiped through her planner app on her phone. She liked to do that in the mornings, even though she knew exactly what she was going to find, and she was the only one who could change it. She was meticulous with her scheduling, always double-checking, never double-booking, and certainly never forgetting-- "EH!?" Sayori jumped. "M-Monika? What's wrong??" "I... I can't believe... I forgot..." She stared at the screen in disbelief: Cultural Festival, this weekend

its just a prologue not really that much yet

This is the first chapter of the first part of a new project I'm working on, writing a non-game AU that follows the girls through their senior year, their last summer after high school, and then beyond (to an indiscernible point?) This is the start of the first part: senior year!

It's gonna be a little awkward at the start, not only because I've never written anything quite of this caliber before, but also I'm trying to get through the game events so that I can delve into the actual content of this fic XD the game is only like a week's worth anyway, this is gonna last months to finish the year!

I'll post new chapter announcements on my blog here since... people follow me? Apparently? Weird to think about it that way. But if you have suggestions, requests, questions, etc you can send those as asks here!

Hope you enjoy~!

[theyilinglaozus]

tell me more about your lwj fic?

((I actually forgot the tag game had a response part to it so I was like '!!!' and really excited and happy when I logged in and saw both your and @owlpockets' messages in my inbox omg 🙈))

Yes! The Lan Wangji fic! So this is very much a piece that has been in the works for a long time (around 2020 is when I started writing it, I believe?) I paused writing it due to a) getting stuck at one point and b) taking a distance from the MDZS fandom as a whole. But lately, I've been re-reading and trying to find some new wangxian fics, and it's really ignited my love to rewatch the drama again and work on the Lan Wangji piece again!

It's set during the early years of Wei Wuxian being dead and Lan Wangji mourning him, and how when he's left to his own solitude and healing his mind won't stop playing scenarios of what would have happened if things had gone differently. He's essentially haunted by losing Wei Wuxian, and the ghosts won't leave him be. Literally - at one point - as in some of his dreams a piece of Wei Wuxian's spirit visits him whilst he's playing inquiry, but it's much too weak to hold any form other than a small orb of light.

It's a piece I love working on because I've been getting a bit creative with the formatting (which, if I ever get around to actually finishing and posting it to the AO3, RIP to me trying to fight the formatting gods). Here's an extract of it I still have:

[llycaons]

ep18 (1/2): in which wwx manipulates and lies to his friends and family (lovingly)

forgot this. he can just fly around catching birds. no wonder it's so easy to camp

I feel like birthdays really only crop up in american tv in the context of little kids. it's something children do.

xy twirling his hair as he walks away 😭 can your believe ppl still ship them after he murdered SL's entire family

this was such a good change for the show to make bc 1. this introduces the idea of bssr really naturally and 2. it gives wwx another interaction with SL, which is emotionally significant later for both us and the characters

also they need to slip in his backstory and all of its parallels to wx somehow and waiting until yi city is way too late

oh cool I love a t/n

wwx making it a mystical quest bound in ceremony and ritual to prevent jc from suspecting or asking too many questions, and to control his actions. ugh

that post abt jc hero-worshipping wwx continues to baffle me. in fact this is the only time we ever see jc so eager to follow wwx's directions and do what he says

'let her do anything' she is a grown woman she can gather herbs if she wants and what authority do you have to stop her 😭

this smile after he convinces jc about his plan is so haunting. you can see he's sxcited and then the smile fades and he just looks...resigned? fucking misery

yanqing warriors! when wwx mentions jyl leaving soon, wen qing freezes and doesn't say anything for a few seconds. what can it mean hmm?

I don't think jc would have accepted the core if he knew what wwx planned, which is why wwx kept it secret. one of the reasons

this is kind of manipulative no? not in a way to hurt her just to get her to agree with his plan. and maybe he means it too. maybe he would have done with without the debt of the jiangs held over his head. we'll never know

drugging you sister. sir!

I think it's really funny when wwx insults jc sorry I always will. he deserves to at least a little

first shot of wwx looking like a little mousie with his threabare pillow and jc a raging little brat. very similar to the first shot of the show! wwx bleeding and suicidal, and jc stalking over to finish the job. but in that scene and this one, we see there's more to the story

im going to fucking isekai myself into cql universe for the sole purpose of cuddling this child

you know I was so excited for jfm to say that. like go jfm! the haters were wrong about you! you love and protect at least one child under your care!

and then it IMMEDIATELY cuts to wwx hours later freezing because jfm told him 'jc is a good kid' and then he LEFT HIM THERE AND WENT TO BED

FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK HIM. USELESS BASTARD. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM HERE

ugh it's not cool to hate on a 9 year old esp since he's lonely and neglected by his dad but he's such a brat

her parents and sect are so useless this preteen girl has to go out into the woods at like 1 am to find her new brother

wwx's first instinct was to find a tree to climb. dogs can't climb trees, but how many trees were in yiling for him to learn to climb? hmm

wwx falling is such a theme and jyl being the only one besides lwj to ever try to catch him....ough. his two lights indeed

jyl also actually explains why jc is upset rather than just telling him he'll be fine

HALF A DAY??!! hasn't he suffered enough. mein gott

and of course now she has to parent her two baby brothers one of whom is very traumatized and newly adopted and the other is very socially inept and clumsy so he came out to help and now he's BLEEDING. if I was her I would have carried so much resentment as an adult oops her parents are dead so I guess she can't even if she wanted to

YOU WILL SAY IT CRYING SOMEDAY

it's significant that (iirc) jc never says he's sorry in the main timeline. only twice in the story - here and at the very end. a lot of people consider the finale the end of their relationship, but I prefer to see it as a reset. a renewal. they're starting again. jc is crying and he's sorry for hurting wwx, and wwx forgives him because he's a nice kid and because he does care about him. and they can start from there, even if things will be different

they don't have jyl anymore, but everything's come out between them. they can coexist on equal footing. wwx has someone who protects him. jc doesn't resent him so much. all his anger is spent. he feels bad. they won't be what they were before, but I like to think they'll at least have some of the brotherhood they once did

jc also crying in his sleep with this flashback. lot of sleep crying these days

[mostlymaudlin]

The one where Simon and agatha DO get stuck in a timeloop at starbucks 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Genuinely can’t believe I forgot about this fic when it used to live rent fucking free in my head. GOD. Ire, I know you are familiar with the fuckery going on in this fic. But for those unaquainted, I’m going to go off abt it, because I’m probably never going to finish it but I want to unleash a version of it on the world.

Last summer, I wrote a sweet lil fem!snowbaz uni meet ugly au. in it, there’s this line of flirty small talk about Baz’s full name:

“Damn, that bad?” Simon asks, but she’s smiling. “Agatha did say you were posh.”

“Did you two get stuck in a time loop in that Starbucks?” I ask, shaking my head. “How did you manage to discuss so much in the ten minutes you were gone?”

so that fic existed. and then I was like: what if there WAS a time loop? but not like baz thinks? and so came the idea for this batshit fic, set in watford (7th year? Maybe?), in which:

1. Simon and Agatha (canon versions) get stuck in a time loop during one of simons missions. They get out with pennys help, but Agatha breaks up with Simon. The end of this situation is the start of the fic.

2. The spell they used to break the time loop actually just shifted the loop to a different dimension — one in which fem!Simon is ordering a drink from Agatha at Starbucks in an attempt to woo agatha’s best friend (baz) who she just dumped coffee on lol. There is no magic in this universe, they are very confused 😂

3. Canon!simon starts having dreams about the fem dimension loops. He goes to penny like — we have to do something.

4. The “doing something” results in more shenanigans. Including accidentally body swapping simon and baz between dimensions. And between each other, at various points? Agatha also gets swapped around a bit, much to her chagrin. Shepard appears briefly in the fem dimension.

Anyway. It’s very convoluted and very fun. There’s complex arcs for both snowbazs and for Agatha. and I thought through the mechanics SO MUCH and then abandoned it, which is sad but that’s life.

This fic also includes a scene I really enjoy — I think I shared part of it back in the day for wip posts but I’m gonna share it again below the cut. It takes place late in the fic, when canon snowbaz are in fem snowbaz’s bodies in fem simon’s flat with canon Agatha (in the fem universe Agatha’s body. Lol). they’re resting while waiting for when the loop resets in a few hours so that they can enact their New Plan. But really this is about being confused and pining :) Simon POV.

I couldn’t be in that room anymore. I don’t know how to be around Agatha right now. It’s been easy to avoid thinking about it since we broke up, but that’s because I haven’t really seen her. And there’s been a lot going on.

I should probably have missed her, though, right? I should have been thinking about how I’d fix it when this is all done. But now I’m wondering if I even want to fix it. What does that mean if I don’t? That’s the only thing I’ve ever been sure of: After it’s all over, if I get to have a life, I’ll have one with the Wellbeloves. I don’t know how else to view my future if not with that context. I don’t know who I am outside of the mission anymore.

I hear Agatha and Baz’s muted voices through the wall, and I feel jealousy spring up in my chest. I let myself sit in it, let myself be miserable. It’s not even a thing, is it? Baz is gay. I huff, rolling over in the bed. I’m in the middle of the queen size mattress, taking advantage of the space. Girl me lives a life of luxury.

Baz is gay, and the girl in this body is attracted to him. Well, to her. It’s all quite confusing. But it makes me feel a little left out. It makes me feel like I’m not getting something. I’m obsessed with Baz. Everyone says so. Is that gay of me? I know Baz is fit. It’s why I’ve always been worried about his flirting with Agatha. Is that why I can recall a mental list of all the things that make him attractive? Shiny hair. Footballer thighs. Sharp cheekbones. Long, lush eyelashes framing those grey eyes, a color I’ve never seen on anyone else. Is that jealousy? Or is that something else?

The door to the bedroom creaks open, letting in a stream of light. I close my eyes.

“Snow? Are you awake?”

Baz’s voice is higher in this body, and a little raspier in that scratchy, sexy way. It’s a nice voice. Still, I find myself missing the low syrupy tone of his true voice. I crack an eye open. He’s closed the door, but I can make out his silhouette in the blue moonlight coming through the window. Tall. Slim. Just a suggestion of curves amongst the sharp edges. I can’t stop comparing this body and his. I can’t stop missing the body I know better, the body I’ve spent years knocking my fists against.

I sit up a bit, moving over to the left side of the bed and lifting up the covers. Baz gets in the bed, lying stiffly on his back. I throw the cover over him and lie back down. I know he gets cold.

We’re lying here, not touching, not talking. I can feel my heart beating in my throat. I wonder if he can hear it. Maybe not. He’s not a vampire right now. I can feel the warmth coming off his body. His skin is always so cool when we fight. I wonder if it would still be cool if I reached over and touched him.

It feels like we’re about to fight right now. The air is thick with the wind-up of it. My fists are already clenched. But Baz just keeps breathing, keeps lying there next to me. I want to shake out the tension in my body, but I don’t want to disturb him. Or I do want to disturb him. I want to roll on top of him and try to rip his hair out of his scalp. Or something.

I don’t. I lie here. Time passes, the air stays the same. What if I did touch him? What if I pretended to be asleep and rolled into him, just to put my hand on his stomach like I used to with Agatha. I know he’s not asleep. I know what it sounds like when his breath evens out. He probably knows I’m not sleeping either. Unless he’s not as obsessed with me as I am with him. But he is, right? That’s why the other version of us gets together. We fit, don’t we? Despite it all?

Do Simons and Bazs find each other in other dimensions too? Are we always meant to come together? To fight each other? Or maybe not. Maybe that’s never been our destiny.

Could I roll over and touch him without it being a ruse? Am I allowed this? What are we to each other, after all this is done? Not enemies, I don’t think. It doesn’t feel like that anymore. It felt okay to touch him in Watford. It felt okay to be touched by him. I don’t know what any of this looks like anymore. Agatha said she didn’t want to be my happy ending. She wanted to be someone’s right now. What does that mean? What are you allowed in the right now? Can I even have a right now, when I might not have a future? Am I allowed?

I don’t touch Baz. I lie here in the dark, listening to him breathe, knowing he’s awake. I stew in the potential energy of it all.

I wish he would reach over and touch me. I wonder if he could ever want to.

[talia-rumlow]

Strangers With Memories (Original Story) Chapter Two - Redecorate The Bathroom

Finally I can post chapter Two of my Original Story. This might take some time to finish though. It´s hard for me to write. Since this is about my own life. But I will finish it. I promise you I will.

Messages sent back and forth. Lizzie hasn't experienced this in a long long time. To actually have someone to talk to. A grown up. Someone who answers. Someone who want to talk to her. It's weird. She is a divorced, single mom, to three kids. She almost thought that no one wanted her. That she was some kind of damaged goods. Too young to give up on love, but too old to find something new. Screw life.

But this Christopher guy is different. He actually talks. Not just "hello", "yes" or "no". He talks, with full sentences, and actual questions. Lizzie almost forgot how to respond to that, and how good it felt to have someone like that in her life.

It's not easy to find time for a date, her kids take up most of her time. And a date with the kids home... Well, that's not an ideal situation. Especially since the relationship will be physical. That's what she asked for, so that's what she should expect. Nothing more. No worries anyway. She already decided that she wasn't ready to fall in love quite yet. To bring someone new into her kids life, was a scary thought.

Easter comes, this year as every year. Lizzie decides to use the vacation to redecorate her bathroom. Those ugly walls has to go. Do it easy, she told herself. Paint. Find new furnitures on Craigslist and do most of the job yourself. She finds the furnitures about an hour away, so once again she asks Janet for help. A road trip the last day the kids are in school before Spring Break. Lizzie lets Janet drive.

- So.. Did you speak to Christopher?

Janet asks, like it was the most common thing in the world for Lizzie to do. Talk to strangers on messenger.

- Well. Kinda! I haven't met him yet. It's hard to find a babysitter. And I don't want my kids to meet him yet.

Janet smiles. God, she's proud of this. Proud of the fact that she finally manage to find someone Lizzie actually likes.

- I told you that he would text back, didn't I?

Lizzie looks over at her..

- Yes, you did! It's just that I'm not used to it I guess. You know, that people actually want to talk to me. With everything that happened in my marriage. Him telling me all the time I wasn't good enough. That I didn't do enough. You can only hear a thing that many times, before you start to believe it.

Janet gives Lizzie a determined look.

- Don't ever believe that. Just look at what you're doing with your kids. Being a single mom isn't easy. Yet you do it perfectly.

Lizzie smiles. She knows that Janet is right. The last years have been anything but easy. But she got through them. She did that, on her own. Buying a house, a car, getting her drivers license. Everything while storms were raging around her. She got through it all. Alone.

- Thanks, Janet. What would I do without you?

- I don't know... Crash and burn..

Lizzy lets out a small laugh.

- Probably...

After a couple more minutes. Janet parks the car outside a apartment complex, and with a little help, they get the furnitures into the car.

- Sigarette break, before we drive back!

Lizzie don't mind. The sun is shining. Nothing wrong with taking a break before they drive back home. And they have time.

Back on the road again. Lizzies phone beeps. It's Christopher. "What are you doing for easter?" Lizzie can't help but smile. But at the same time she knows what he wants, and she knows she won't have time for a date the next week. And her bathroom is torn down. No water, no nothing. A visitor now won't work. "I'm redecorating my bathroom. I'm sorry. I don't have time."

- Was it him? Did he make you smile like that?

- Pfft..

The phone beeps again. "No worries. Just let me know when you have time!" Yet again a smile dances in Lizzies face.

- I wish I could watch the kids, and you could go and meet him. I would have if I could, Lizzie.

- I know Janet. I'll make it work. Someday..

- Why can't he visit while the kids are there? He can come after they're asleep, and leave before they wake up.

- You mean just fuck me and leave? Ehh..

Janet shakes her head.

- Girl's got standards.. Damn..

- I'm burned, Janet. That's all.

- But Christopher is good, and nice. You don't have to worry about that.

- Well, in that case he'll be the first one..

Janet gives Lizzie a quick look.

- The first to do what?

Lizzie looks down on her hands. She doesn't like to talk about herself this way. But her experiences makes it hard not to.

- To not, leave, cheat, abuse, lie....

Janet doesn't say anything. How do you respond to that. Lizzie looks over at her best friend.

- Changing the subject. I kinda feel that we're gonna spend easter in a cabin. My bathroom being the way it is. No furnitures, no water. We have to fill a bucket with water and refill the toilet after we use it. And I have only two days to finish painting the walls, before the plumber comes back.

Janet laughs.

- You got your work cut out for you then. I salute you, Lizzie. I would never manage to do half the stuff you do. And with three kids on top of that. Kudos to you.

- Those walls were KILLING me. I got angry when I looked at them. The bathroom is a place to relax in the tub. I couldn't do that with those stupid fucking dolphins on my walls.

- Oh, I almost forgot that you were getting a tub. Easier with a tub, when the kids are young. You see, there. You do EVERYTHING for those kids. They're lucky to have you as their mom.

Lizzie looks down again. Why can't she accept complements? Why is it so hard to believe good things about herself? Why can't she just reply "Thank you", and for once believe the nice things people say? Screw life!

The drive home feels shorter, it always does. Janet backs the car into the garage, and with a few fucks and hells they manage to get the furnitures out of the car. Janet lights up a cigarette.

- Will you get it from here and into your bathroom yourself?

Puff puffs from two cigarets.

- The plumber guy can manage I guess. And if he needs any help. I'm available.

They both finish their cigarettes, and Janet gets into her own car, and drives off. Lizzie picks up her phone. Looks at the time. Looks like the time ran away. Time to pick the kids up from school.

@nekoannie-chan @here4thefanfics @mostlybuckystuff @late-to-the-party-81

[torilaa]

The Memory Shaper Blog

So, recently, I was combing through my files of writing - trying to break out of a nasty bit of writer’s block for my fun kotor fanfiction project - when I found an ancient piece of text. The novel I tried writing in college. I made the mistake of reading it and once I did I kinda…missed it. So. I dug through all the world building docs I made - the terrible first draft that I discarded (where the plot went nowhere literally what a load of junk). Then found the second draft which also went nowhere. And finally I found this. I wrote it in 2018 in an attempt to restart and since I had no one to hold me accountable to continue I stopped. Also thanks to my general depression at the time…well it didn’t help.

I think my New Years resolution is going to be to update this blog post with my progress on completing this science fiction/fantasy novel I dreamed up years ago (this doesn’t mean I’ll abandon my other projects of course. Actually I’m half way done with the next chapter of Fragmented so I’d say it gave me a boost of creative energy).

So, here you go! The first pages and first draft of The Memory Shaper. Many things will be subject to change of course and I’ll talk about the world I made in more blog posts. I hope sharing will help egg me on to complete this finally 😅!

Snow slapped into Martin's face—adrenaline peaked—noise became next to nothing against the 200 kilometer-per-hour winds. His stolen pilo-bike self-adjusted for the city's outer-limit weather, and he climbed high above the mountains towards the countryside. It was only in the snow and trees where he felt like he was free. Not stuffed within bare walls. Not nodding his head at the instructors who drolled on about how his “sacrifice” would mean future generations could control the depths of their minds like ant farms. No, within the winds, the trees, nature, he could watch whatever he wanted and believe in whatever he pleased. Maybe even…forget what he wanted like he used to. 

Now? Now he had no choice but to remember. 

The pilo-bike jolted as his mind wandered. A memory would come to him each time he rode. He could never use his Omitral to forget it.

(Not that he could use it to forget anyway).

Dad had smiled down at him as he adjusted the speed of the engine of his old rusted bike to match the tolerance level an eleven-year-old would have. He remembered (yes, remembered) how he got onto it before Dad finished the adjustments.

“No, no, Martin.” Dad chuckled. “Get down.”

He didn't get down. Dad never forced him off though. Instead, he worked around him and continued making adjustments—licking his lips as always did in concentration. His long red tangled hair—like Martin’s own—had been pulled back in order to avoid being caught in parts. It revealed the scar on his forehead that he rarely if ever showed. It was the one he got from an explosion during “the war.” 

Martin gripped the slim handlebars and imagined how riding it had looked in the O-Vids.

“I wanna go fast.”

“No.

“Please.”

Dad huffed. “You'll forget if you do, son.”

“But I'm eleven.”

“Eleven. Twelve. Until you're fifteen, your brain chemistry will work against you. Last week you stubbed a toe. You forgot it and lunch.” He sighed. “It was a good lunch too.”

“I won’t forget, I promise!”

Dad gave him that look.

Martin looked back. 

Dad won the looking contest. 

He groaned.

Dad knew everything about the Omitral—he worked within the Order of Representative's laboratory in New Arizona when Martin had been too young to control his memories during “the war.” Even though Martin couldn't remember most of his early life, he remembered how little he saw his father then compared to how much he saw him now. And now (then) they lived in the middle of nowhere. The middle of nowhere in a redwood forest on a planet Martin…didn’t recall.

Dad grinned and patted the pilo-bike’s hover modules. “Ok! Now, let me squeeze on...”

Martin bloated his cheeks as he remained still—refusing to move. He wanted to ride it himself. Experience the control himself. He yelped when Dad picked him up by the armpits and sat him down this time with enough room for both of them.

Instantly, blue-colored HUDs glowed near the handlebars and multiple numbers and dials swirled in the dash that hadn't existed before. Martin fought against reaching out to touch the HUDs—they didn't exist after all, and he didn't want to look like a little kid that still thought the images produced by the Omitral were real. So, he faced forward and waited for his father's instructions.

“There really isn't much to it.”

Martin blinked in surprise. “Really?”

“Really. It's more of a...feeling. Like when you want to watch an O-Vid or read, do you have to think hard for it to happen?” When he shook his head, Dad placed Martin’s smaller hands onto the handlebars. “Just feel and it will happen, Martin.”

And it happened, first, with slow spurts. Martin imagined the pilo-bike rising off the ground and it did. Then, he imagined the revving of the engine, and Dad flinched when it revved a bit too loud. Finally, he imagined moving forward and—

“Prouset? Hello! Martin Prouset?” A crackle. “Fucking neurotic—are you kidding me right now?”

The world came back and wet snow slammed into his face. Too cold. He cursed and lowered the guard of his helmet before ignoring the annoying blare that erupted in his ears.

A hiss. “I know you can hear me, dipshit. Where the fuck are you? I've been trying to reach you for five minutes. Don't tell me you're out in that storm because if you are...oh shit, please don't tell me you are. No. Why did I get assigned to someone crazy like you?”

Martin pushed his ear with his helmet but it wouldn't stop the sound of Jax's grating voice. Someone hacked into his Omitral again to stop him from muting. Or it was getting fried.

Great. 

“Yes, I am. In the storm—that is. Cold but I’ve felt worse sitting inside that fridge of a building.”

“Are you insane? These snow storms kill people. And they won't give us our assignment until you come back so unless you want to—”

“Be exiled and live on Earth? Probably better to live in that warzone than here at this rate.”

Instead of continuing the fast path over the trees, he flipped over and began the trek back to base. Jax wasn’t going to shut up anytime soon and he couldn’t mute the bastard.

“Is this a joke to you?”

“I mean, you're a joke so yes.”

“Ha, ha, very funny. Prouset is a clown.” 

“That isn't my name.”

Jax went silent. “This again?”

Yet, Martin didn't say anything back to his partner's annoyed retort. Because no matter how many people insisted that his last name was Prouset, he wasn't going to believe it.

Unfortunately, Jax wasn’t going to be silent on the way back. “This is the third time this week you’ve stolen a patrol’s pilo-bike for a joy ride. Don’t you have an icar? And how did you steal it anyway—it’s biometrically locked.”

“I asked for a favor. And I can’t exactly feel my own mortality in an icar, Jax.”

“Oh, so you do want to die.”

Maybe. Once.

“Can you stop whining in my ear? I can’t…mute you. Omitral on the fritz.”

“I told you to let Doctor Bennet look at that.”

Martin scoffed. “Doctor Bennet is a drunken hack. The Reps barely pay him so he gives less than two shits.”

“It’s better than having an episode, Prouset. Remember Thom? He went crazy…jumped off the top of the tower...”

“It’s fine.”

…

And that’s all I had. There are other drafts of this concept - of a universe where people can control their memories with the Omitral. None of them reeeeally got the concept across though and Martin was a boring plank of wood in those. And Jax too really. And the plot made no sense. Honestly this may not be the first chapter - I might write something with the villain’s POV as the first chapter. But anyway…this post was mostly self-indulgent and a way to motivate myself to keep going honestly. I’ll keep updating as I keep writing!

[bangtanfanfiction]

I don't think you're a "small" creator though. You are among the first writers that I found when I first make my tumblr account. And your Burning Flame is pretty popular in my opinion. Though I forgot whether you have ao3 or not. I hope you don't feel bad for not having many asks in your inbox, but you're also among the writers that I kind of... feel nostalgic(?) Not sure how to explain it, but many writers that I first found have deactivated or simply fall out of writing. And you have no idea how many times I cried whenever my favs quit. I would probably feel better if they left because they just lost inspiration to write. But when many of them left because of those hates just really makes me regret not sending them supportive messages (times when I regret being a silent reader). Or even if I did show my support anonymously, the hate is simply too much. I don't mind waiting years for them to write another fanfic. As long as they still enjoy it and not feeling hurt over it, I'm more than grateful for that. So thank you as well for still sticking around. Whenever you feel like you don't have many supporters, know that I'm here. And hey, maybe if you feel lonely, I'll be willing to try reaching out to you privately (I'm a bit shy about that, but I'm willing to help)

Oh wow really? I feel kinda honored now ahahah

I think you just changed my entire perspective on how quickly time has actually gone by! I still feel like I'm kind of just cruising along on this blog, popping up now and then to post something whenever I have random spurts of inspiration to finish a draft or start something completely new, before leaving for indefinite periods of time again.

(I can't believe it's been that long since Burning Flame??? like omg still feels like yesterday)

In some ways I've taken it a bit for granted more than I realized too - I totally agree that there a much smaller creators out there besides myself who do not get the attention they deserve.

And thank you so much for looking out for me. I admit I used to feel horrible when I first started on here and never got the attention I expected, and considered quitting. But I've learned to simply appreciate what I get, even if it's only an ask or two. It's readers like you who pop in now and then who simply manage to spark up that fire in me with a reminder of why I chose to start posting here in the first place!

Just like you, I'm quite shy myself, so my chatting skills are not superior. But you are always more than welcome to pop a message into my inbox privately nonetheless 🥰

[arwainian]

Reading this week (final week of 2022!)

holiday week with Plenty of travel and variable reading habits. it pleases me a lot that the new year starts on a sunday just so like, the weeks will be all night like that when doing weekly recaps like this. i'm a few hours out from midnight where i'm writing this right now, but a happy new years to my friends and mutuals in earlier timezones who have already made it to 2023. here's hoping its a good one and i read many amazing things in the new year

Started and Finished:

Ruin of a Rake: A Cure by Cat Sebastian

in this year's collection of Holiday Epilogues from the author! Sebastian (re)releases a collection of epilogues/vignettes for her various books every year around this time, most of them previously published but still fun to read. out of the collection this was the one i felt interested the most in reading bc of it's cool premise: its not actually an epilogue, but instead a short story "written by" one of the heros of her romances, where he inserts himself and hs boyfriend as the main couple of a vampire story. WHAT a premise, and it was good. (also, i imagine its kinda mortifying for Courtenay to read that his Julian wrote his [Courtney's] pov for this)

recently published comics handed to me by my dad:

Nightwing (2016-) #99 Batman/Superman: World's Finest (2021-) #10

the comics my dad knows to pass along to me when he's finished with them. i am just loving World's Finest, but i found this recent issue pretty hard to follow visually (though there Was some super cool stuff like when Superman dragged Batman and Robin across Gotham mid-sentence)

Critical Role: Vox Machina Origins, Vol. III written by Jody Houser, illustrated by Olivia Samson & J.P. Massa

worked for me better than vol. 1 but not as good as 2, also getting this out of the library (on libby) was a crazy hassle bc there was something wrong with kindle downloading an individual issue from vol 2 instead of (literally any) of volume 3

a LOAD of Fire Emblem: Three Houses fanfic (all authors listed by ao3 handle):

a fool's dance by ohroses Summer by shenyun5000 Lament by grayimperia like a house on fire by acronymed my fellow passerine by Schistosity Moonrise by Schistosity halcyon days by 0shadow_panther0 The Red Pen by Pardra no archive warnings apply by rime

i have been Playing fire emblem three houses and that means diving into the ao3 tag a bit looking for the good shit. this is what i've read this past week (i'm almost certain there's stuff from previous weeks that i forgot to record) and i patently refuse to talk about every single on of them

Dragonsong by Anne McCaffrey

okay. i need to check out more McCaffrey sci fi/fantasy, this was great and gentle while still exciting and new. also an amazing read for a plane ride

She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan

believe the hype about this book and go read it. it's fantastic. i could gush about it forever. the GENDER DYNAMICS AT PLAY in this book. wow it feels so well thought out, and also Zhu is such a clever protagonist. at several points i started like... grinning in distress? like as "WOW that is such a clever plan from Zhu and also. horrific. what a move"

"Toward a Trans History of Abortion" by Jules Gill-Peterson on her substack

this has been sitting open in my phone internet browser tabs for a little bit and i'm so glad i got around to reading it today! Gill-Peterson seems like a great source for me looking into trans history research, and I loved her insight in this as something that she's beginning to look into for conenctions and history

almost right by unchosenone on ao3

reread this one bc i saw a post recommending based-in-comics-batfam-fic, and in all honestly my family is on the precipice of a bit of reckoning right now, so reading this felt... Apt

Started and Ongoing:

Teen Titans: The Silver Age Omnibus, Vol. 1

my dad got this Behemoth for himself this year and i am happily reaping the rewards of his splurge. i love the og 60s titans so much they are my CHILDREN. super goofy and cute and i look forward to reading more once i am back home and not travelling and thus able to sit down with this 800 page tome of comic (in... 1ish week)

The City of Brass by S. A. Chakraborty

another rec from my dad. i read the first chapter today and it's intriguing! i'll probably save reading more of it for flight heavy days coming up

AND THAT CLOSES OUT 2022 for reading! (barring if i read any more fanfic before going to sleep tonight and don't feel the urge to come and add it here) GOODNIGHT