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#beloved mutual and dear friend
theviridianbunny · 1 year
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🍓 👉👈
SPINIACH SPIN SPIN SPIN MY ANNGEL MY ANGEL HELLO!!!!!!!! *cracks knuckles* yOU KNOW WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS (i eman u dont but uuuh STILL)
YOUR ART IS TO DIE FOR IT IS TO DIE FOR - I WAKE UP EVERY DAY AND GAZE LOVINGLY UPON THE COMMISSION YOU DREW FOR ME OF JACKIE N VIRIDIAN LIKE UGH I- you are so bloody talented my friend! your art brings me endless joy! like ugh i get so many good feels when i see it !
have some memes i made when the comm came thu because this was the ONLY MOOD OFF THE NIGHT
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thank you for listening to me yell about jackie and viridian... and all my other blorbos -- thank you for being a lovely friend and epic human - it means THE WORLD TO ME AND YOU JUST- YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME AS WELL AAAAAAAAAAAAAA <3 - thank you for always taking the time to listen to me when im worried or just in general like- chatting aa a a a a a <3 ;w;
you are an angel- a dear wonderful friend- and im beyond glad this hellsite bought us together all those years ago- heres to many more years yelling about fictional men and making such wonderful art- also making memes and doing improv ted talks about the books we read or uhhh oc brain rot or the fictional men we wish to hold hands with
you are lovely and amazing and and so cool and you bring me a lot of joy a lot a lot of joy and ---you have a good taste in blorbos A VERY GOOD TASTE *points at ur men* THERE THEY ARE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i love you spin <3 sorry this is a wall of text my brain is moving too fast for my hands aaaaaaa
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@ mutuals send me a 🍓 and ill compliment u!
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gremlin-star-sketches · 4 months
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it's pride month Andy, you know what that means >:3
Tf do you want me to do? Make gay lore? Collect more partners? What do you want from me?!
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potatobugz · 2 years
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hi did you know I make music sometimes
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im-smart-i-swear · 10 months
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one thing about buddy is that theyre so fucking cold
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swordbreakerz · 2 years
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Happy new years from Them, may you have just as much rivals to lovers and Cool Robots in the new year 💖💖
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wisebilly · 1 year
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1. What's your favorite fandom you've been in with regards to the community?
i have only ever met wondrous and outgoing and oh so kind and cramp inducingly hilarious people from the mcyt era of my life. like genuinely
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Fun fact I'm sure you'll appreciate: I totally adored RDJ's Sherlock, and was left wanting more after the sequel. If the timing had been right, I'm might've ended up beautifully obsessed over him/his Sherlock because that was before I discovered Benedict. But my obsession gene was dormant at the time.
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😏😉
👀 And a good evening to you as well~
And interesting bit of information to learn of you, indeed my dear! It is fascinating to me that you should mention that your obsession was dormant because this was around the time that my love for this man began to take form! While I was indeed introduced to Tony in 2008, that was actually NOT my first time seeing my gorgeous muse. I was introduce to Robert in 2004 when my mother watched Gothika for the first time and while the plot was interesting, I was more fascinated by the handsome assistant to the main character. He took my breath away, Pete Graham had, but I was not aware of who he was. But when Iron Man came out - oh my heart still flutters - I began to understand exactly what I was in for. My mother asked me to go with her to see Iron Man because she was excited to see one of her favorite childhood actors playing her very favorite character. I remember the burning like fire in the pit of my stomach and the way my cheeks grew hot when I saw that scene in Iron Man for the first time.
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I was done: There would never be another hero in my life the way Tony was. And Damon agreed: Him and I began to change his story to better suit being with Tony. The rest, well, it's beautiful chaos and something I will never forget no matter how much time goes by. My children - should my girlfriend and I have any - will know of this man and the way he changed my life! But that's not to say I was completely sold on Robert yet. And it wasn't until I saw his performance as Sherlock that I truly began to appreciate his diversity when it came to the roles that he could play. I knew in that moment, there would be no one on this beautiful but darkened world who would inspire me the way that he has. And I will never be afraid again to admit that. So, I think the timing didn't work out for you so that it could work out for me, and the same could be said for my feelings for Ben. After seeing him in War Horse, I thought that I could easily have loved him had I not already found out about Robert. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I fail to believe the universe is that lazy. Your timing with Robert didn't work and mine didn't for Benedict, so we could meet here in this time of our lives. 🌺💕 Thank you for sharing this with me, V. I truly believe now more than ever that our connection runs deeper than I believed.
Also that last gif has an amazing memory attached to it for me 😂 I very distinctly remember that part of the movie where he was dressed up as a woman for one very distinct reason. I had been visiting my grandparents one day in late 2012 and Game of Shadows was playing on the television. My grandfather - who normally had no interest in this kind of thing - had stopped on this movie for some reason. And as we watched together, I distinctly remember Sherlock making those people leave that train car and my grandfather busting out laughing at the look John gave Sherlock when he told him to lie down. He was just so done with Sherlock's bullshit, even I had to laugh. And somewhere in the back of my mind, Damon groaned in my head and said, "He really is Tony, no matter what era he's in." I've never thought to share that - or the fact Damon is my oldest running character since 2006 - with anyone. So, thank you dear flower, for giving me a reason to share that memory with everyone. 💜✨🖤
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earthpit · 2 years
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Um *loves you unconditionally and fully, keeping a soft place for you in my heart*
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lunariarts · 10 months
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It took some searching, but I'm almost certain this is the thing you talked about
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waaaarrk my beloved!! you have found them one of my dearest weird images I've collected
I spent so many years sending this to people or just quoting it at all the homoerotic sleepovers. Oldest legacy of weird bullshit on my computer
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gazehoundz · 2 years
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my dear friends. my beloved followers and mutuals alike. this is a mandatory assessment. report back with your scores
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gremlin-star-sketches · 5 months
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A Lil thin I drew of us
Pfft- jade, I love and cherish you, I love this, I am currently crying due to how funny it is and how much I love it, expect some more art as well
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jamminvroomvroom · 10 months
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our secret moments.
ln x fem!reader // childhood friend to lovers
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in which you’re friends. best friends. but then you buy a dress for him to take off.
this one is for you guys. thank you for inspiring this, my beloved dress anons. i hope you guys love this as much as i do, and that i got it right for you! obsessed with the concepts and brain rot that went into this aaaaaaa lemme know what you think i beg <3 also sorry if the formatting gets weird, trying out smau elements again :D
songs to set the mood: DRESS by taylor swift
warnings: 18+!! minors dni! smut, oblivious friends to lovers, fluff, minor angst, mutual pining, general sex acts, language, an argument
5.6k words
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your dress sparkles like a mirrorball as the lights flash along the strip.
vegas week begins with a bang; it’s the night of lando’s 24th birthday. the name of your dad’s company is plastered all over the city, as it usually is wherever there’s a race weekend. a round of golf leads to dinner plans and you get dressed up nice with your girlfriends.
you’re almost ready when lando texts you, your friends giving you a look that you brush off when they see the papaya heart next to his name. you tell him you’ll all be ready soon, that’ll you meet him and the boys in the lobby.
high heels sound against the marble floor of the hotel. you walk confidently, tall, scanning for the group of men you’ll be spending the evening with. you spot max fewtrell first, your dear friend here for the occasion, and then ash, who has his back to you. it’s because he’s talking to lando, your best friend, the man that made you fly in to sin city a week earlier than you would have liked.
he’s looking at you before you even see him, watching you walk towards him over ash’s shoulder. he’s checked out from the conversation the second he spots you, glittering under the chandeliers. he can’t breathe, because you’re wearing a dress that renders him somewhere between life and death.
but you’re getting closer, and max, who can see the look on lando’s awestruck face, nudges him so hard in the ribs. he forces himself to inhale, smile, keep breathing.
“good evening, mr norris.” you grin, squeezing his shoulder. “we starting with slots or drinks?”
both is the agreed upon answer, and you let loose in the casino. you watch him roll the dice at one of the game tables, and suddenly, you’re twelve years old again, playing board games on the floor of a hotel room, while your dads talk at the bar downstairs.
your father is, perhaps, the worlds biggest motorsport fan. he’d been sponsoring different series’ since you were little, and he hadn’t stopped expanding as you’d gotten older. that’s how you’d met lando, aged ten years old with braids in your hair, covered in mud, somewhere in the english countryside. you’d been going to kart races since you could walk, and you were sure from the first time you spoke to the small british boy that you’d be destined to meet him. he’d left a mark on you that day, something golden; he radiated sunshine.
your friendship flowed like wine over the years, nice and easy. time on the road with your father meant that lando was the friend you saw the most, and it stayed that way throughout your teenage years. lando’s step up into formula 1 was paired very well with your dad’s investment into mclaren, and five years later, you rarely missed a race.
lando was so easy to be friends with that it was only natural that he was just as easy to love. platonically. you loved him platonically. it was easy to have late night dinner’s with him in his hotel room, easy to walk around the cities you visited with him until your legs hurt, easy to fall asleep on his bed after a netflix binge. so when he told you to pack your bags and be in vegas, it was like he’d pulled an invisible string, because of course, that’s where you would be.
your friend is waving her hand in front of your face when you finally snap out of it. you’ve been staring across the room for god knows how long, and now the girls are laughing at you.
okay, so maybe it’s not just platonically, but you’d rather die than admit it.
“still gonna tell us there’s nothing between you?” nancy, one of your closest friends, teases. your other friend, mia, is giggling beside her. they’d both flown out for the race as well, and had spent the last two years helplessly watching you fall harder and faster.
“shut up,” you whine. “he’s my-“
“best friend.” they both cut you off in unison, mockingly. nancy rolls her eyes.
“he is!” you protest, waving them off.
you leave them in the dust to join the lads at the table. lando’s arm is draped over your shoulder the second you arrive.
“lost your millions yet?” you whisper into his ear. he tuts in response, knowing grin on his face.
“you have no faith in me, honey.” he bumped your hip with his as he spoke.
the game continues, and somehow, much to your surpise, lando gets richer. the walk from the casino to the club is short, and soon enough, you’re drunk and sweating under strobe lights. rounds and rounds of shots disappear and you sink deeper and deeper into the booth you’d reserved.
you let the music thrum through your body, closing your eyes in contentment. a knee nudges yours, and you open your eyes to see lando sliding into the booth next to you. he hands you a drink, and you mouth him a thank you.
“got your eye on anyone here?” lando’s head is resting in the crook of your neck when he asks. it’s obviously just so that you can hear him.
you pull back from him, scanning his face for a moment, really taking him in. the slope of his nose, curls matted on his forehead, grey blue eyes that you swear flit to your lips for just a second. just a brief second. you smile, soft and tired.
“nope.” you mouth back to him. “you?”
lando returns your smile, mirroring you perfectly. he shakes his head.
it’s around 3:30am when you crave the sweet release of sleep. your feet are aching and your head is throbbing. no questions are asked when lando offers you a piggyback ride.
you ignore the way your friends look at you both when he carries you up to your room.
youruser just posted on instagram
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liked by: landonorris, yourfriendnancy, yourfriendmia, maxfewtrell and 378,654 others
youruser: sin city for nozza’s birthday
user: are they together?
otheruser: mother?
landonorris: lost millions.
user2: the photo of the dress next to the photos of lando? she’s tryna tell us something i think.
and 444 other comments
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you ignore the nausea pooling in the pit of your belly.
apparently, the medical centre isn’t that far away when you sprint there. harsh fluorescent lights greet you when you burst through the door, searching for a mop of curls and a burst of orange. your eyes find adam, lando’s dad, and you rush to his side.
“is he okay?” something about the fear in your eyes makes adam crack a smile. it seems there’s no hiding how you feel from anyone except lando.
“they’re just checking him over now, think they might take him to the hospital, just to be safe.” adam explains. “he was asking for you.” he smiles again.
“so it’s just precautionary?” you ignore the last bit. you ignore the way it makes your stomach twist and your brain fight to keep a smile off of your face.
“you can see him, if you want.” adam gestures towards the nearest examination room.
you’re gone before he can say anything more, bursting into the room without even thinking of knocking.
lando’s pretty much stoned. god knows what they gave him but it seems to be working; he’s propped up on the bed, cracks a sleepy smile when he sees you.
“hey, pretty girl.” he drawls, waving slowly. you pray you’re not blushing.
“scared me out there, you prick.” you joke, but your voice shakes.
“c’mere.” he frowns, so you walk around his bed. he slaps the small spot next to him clumsily, and you perch on the edge of the bed.
lando grabs your hand, pulling you in closer, eyelids drooping as he does it.
“i’m sorry, honey. always wanna race well for you.” lando is pouting. he’s fucking pouting at you.
“hey, hey, it’s fine! as long as you’re okay.”
he nods like a child being told off, but he doesn’t drop your hand. he doesn’t drop it in the helicopter to the hospital, either.
youruser just posted on instagram
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liked by: landonorris, ashjbibby, yourfriendnancy and 344,555 others
youruser: alls well that ends well (but i’m in a new hell every time you go to the hospital)
landonorris: whoops?
user1: THE TAYLOR LYRICS HELLO?
user44: do y’all think we can’t see you.
user2: 3RD SLIDE HELLO?
yourfriendnancy: anyway. the dress ate.
otheruser: @ yourfriendnancy WHAT DO YOU KNOW
and 567 other comments
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“i just don’t get why you keep wearing the fucking shoes if they hurt so much.” lando bumps your shoulder with his, teasing you.
“sometimes you do what you gotta do for the ‘fit.” you huff, trying to keep up with him.
you’re on your way to dinner with lando, marking your first night in dubai. the restaurant isn’t too far, but your shoes are simply not cooperating. you’d left lando to book a table, knowing that a name drop from him would mean good food and not too many people there to watch you both eat it. after vegas, the rumour mill was working overtime, and you’d had a headache for two days as a result.
none of your other friends have arrived in the emirates yet, so it leaves just the two of you to hang out. it’s something you usually love to do, but after the whirlwind of the last few days, it makes your tummy twist.
you can’t stop thinking about the hospital, your hand in his, the way he’d demanded you accompany him despite the presence of his literal father. you absolutely can’t stop thinking about “pretty girl” or the lazy smile on his face when he said it, like it was what he always called you. he usually sticks to honey, not the most platonic thing in the world, but he said it once and it just stuck.
you’re pulled out of your downward spiral by the way he suddenly comes to a stop in the middle of the pavement. you look at him confused, but then he’s making a suggestion that makes you want to lay done in front of an oncoming ferrari.
“want me to carry your shoes? you can put them on right before we go in.” lando shrugs. you must be blushing by the way he fights off a smile.
“lando, i cannot walk down the streets of dubai shoeless.” you scowl. he chuckles.
“says who? give ‘em here. you can wear mine if you want.” lando reasons, and after staring at him likes he’s grown a second head, you cave.
you start to crouch down but he beats you to it. your breath hitches in your throat when his fingers graze your ankle. you watch in shocked silence as he undoes each clasp, letting you step out of the shoes. the pavement is relatively cool under your feet, and it snaps you out of your state. you decline his offer of his own shoes, and he’s started walking again when you stop him.
“lando, why are you doing this?”
“you took good care of me last weekend. least i can do.” he tells you, and you nod once. “c’mon, we’re gonna be late.” he ushers you along and you walk the rest of the way in silence, silver heels swinging in his hand.
youruser just posted on instagram
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liked by: landonorris, maxfewtrell, yourfriendmia and 332,211 others
youruser: dinner w bestie
user: lando took this. bet.
user3: her other friends aren’t in abu dhabi yet she has to be with lando
landonorris: how was dinner?
youruser: @ landonorris u tell me.
user4: a date if i ever saw one?
user63: are we sure they’re not just friends?
user4: @ user63 girl. be so fr
and 329 other comments
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the restaurant is licensed, so you find solace in a glass of white wine. lando sticks to water.
your mains arrive and you natter back and forth, discussing the end of the season and any gossip you may have acquired. you barely stop laughing, head thrown back every time he opens his mouth. it feels easy again, and you find yourself thawing out, previous worries shoved to the back of your mind.
“so what’s next year looking like? last year of your degree.” lando wiggles his eyebrows, wearing a hint of pride on his face.
“might have to stay away from race tracks for a while. it’s gonna be a busy year.” you sigh. his face obviously falls.
“how long is a while? need my cheerleader.” it’s said in jest, but desperation lies in the outskirts of his voice.
“until the summer break.” you frown. you’d gotten far too comfortable studying on the road.
“can’t you continue as you are? i’m gonna mis- your dad will miss you.” lando corrects himself and your fork clatters against your plate.
“can’t get rid of me too easily, norris.” you clean up the awkward mess before it can even become one, returning to the lighter side of the conversation.
“trust me, i’m not trying to.” he flirts. in jest.
you roll your eyes and gulp down wine.
youruser just posted on instagram
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liked by: landonorris, abudhabigp, yourfriendmia and 543,288 others
youruser: new heights n pretty lights
user2: i know who took 3/4 of these pics.
landonorris: i want that hat back btw
user6: she is the moment
user: mommy? huh who said that?
and 588 other comments
lando.jpg just posted on instagram
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liked by: youruser, oscarpiastri, maxfewtrell and 645,321 others
lando.jpg: from the road
oscarpiastri: violation.
youruser: can u send me these. especially the one of oscar :)
user4: WAIT didn’t she post the second one a while? LANDO TOOK IT?
user81: oscar 😭😭
maxfewtrell: why don’t you take nice pictures of me like this?
user11: the wags are fighting omg
and 799 other comments
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your back is to his chest and the music is unbearable. it doesn’t stop you from swaying your hips against his.
nothing beats the abu dhabi grand prix’s after party.
lando stays p6 in the championship, but it’s only by one stupid point. celebration is certainly called for, and you bask in the freedom of the season ending.
you don’t even want to think about the way he hugged you when he got out of the damn car.
so you don’t. you drink and you dance and you beg for someone else to try and take you home so that you can avoid him. you’re scared, fucking terrified, and avoiding him seems like the best option.
that’s until he finds you in the sea of people, because of course he does, and you get closer, closer, closer, until there’s no room for god and his hands are on your hips.
it feels too fucking good to stop, you can’t even compute pulling away, so you let yourself go. what’s the point in trying to hide the way you feel when he’s holding you against his crotch? ah, yes. a cornerstone of friendship.
but it’s too hot and it’s too bright and it’s too loud and the anxiety hits. it hits and you can’t stop the way you freeze up against him. you’re sick to death of pretending. you’re sick to death of nights like this one repeating themselves far too often, only to wake up in the morning and act like it means nothing. like the way he holds you and looks at you and touches you means nothing.
no matter how drunk he is, no matter how far gone he is, he knows you too damn well. he’s spinning you around in his arms and pulling you through the hoards of people.
cool air lands on your flushed skin and you realise you’re in the smoking area. lando looks wrecked, but he’s watching you as intently as he can manage.
“you okay, honey? want me to take you home?” he’s rubbing your arm as he speaks and tears well in your eyes. you’re not entirely sure why.
“stay, i don’t wanna ruin your night.” you croak. you need to get out of there immediately.
“no, no, no, you’re my priority, i’ll call us a driver and w-“
“stop it, lando. i can go back to the hotel alone.” he looks bewildered, and you don’t blame him. you sound harsh, way too harsh considering what he’d offered.
“i should take you.” he replies quietly and you feel bad.
great, now you are crying.
“just- i don’t want this to change, i don’t want us to change and if you keep on like this-“
alas, everything changes, then. every unsaid word is fair game and neither of you are holding back. the shots you’ve thrown back fuel an explosion.
“if i keep on like this? what, you think i don’t see the way you look at me?” lando’s words hit like venom and you’re white hot with embarrassment.
fiery despair hits you and you’re bound to regret every word when you’re sober and sane.
“at least i don’t fuck with your head.”*
“you think that doesn’t fuck with my head? the one woman i- fuck, you know what? it doesn’t matter.” he bites his tongue but you most certainly don’t.
“what? what, lando? as if the way i look at you compares to carrying my shoes and putting me to bed and calling me pretty and every other thing that you do to drive me up the fucking wall.” you spit.
your tears burn your cheeks, you’ve always been an angry crier, and they fall faster when he practically deflates and turns away, disappearing into the club.
you make your getaway, your father’s assistant sends you a car.
you cry yourself to sleep in your hotel room, watching the orange sun rise.
-
the flight home is quiet.
your plans to fly home with lando are abandoned, and you board the earliest flight available.
you never fight with him, so you don’t know how to proceed. everything had changed in a matter of words and you ignore the lump in your throat when you land in miserable, rainy london alone.
you’re surprised to see your dad’s blacked out range rover waiting for you when you get through customs. he’d been on the first flight out of the emirates as soon as the race had finished, and you assumed he’d be asleep for at least a day or two. the man never rests during the season, from the minute the lights go out in bahrain, until the flag falls in abu dhabi. then, he biblically crashes, the excitement and adrenaline hibernating until next year. average behaviour for the world’s biggest motorsport fan.
he’s out the car and opening the boot for you before you even reach him, and he’s pulling you into his fatherly embrace when you finally do. you let out a shaky breath, having been in desperate need of a hug.
“hey, kid.” he mutters into your ear. maybe it’s good to be home.
“what are you doing here?” you ask from the passenger seat, once all of your luggage is packed into the car.
your dad sighs, turning to look at you. you groan, thudding your head against the headrest. you know that look, the one that precedes a motivational speech, a bit of tough love, and usually very sound advice that you never ask for.
“lando called me.” he deadpans. they’d grown somewhat annoyingly close over the years.
“fantastic.” you reply, sarcasm as clear as day.
“he was beside himself. told me what happened.” your dad says softly and you squeeze your eyes shut.
“it’s so, so fine. i don’t wanna talk about this.” your voice trembles and you don’t have the energy to cry anymore.
“there’s nothing wrong with telling him how you feel, sweetheart. don’t throw something away because you’re scared.” and, here we go… you think.
“i can’t lose him.” you whisper, furiously wiping away the stray tears that fall, staring out the window.
“you won’t lose him if you tell him. trust me, kid. we all see how that boy adores you. no father ever thinks a guy is good enough for their girl, but lando comes pretty damn close.”
“i don’t even know where to begin.” you rub your temples, battling the tension headache you’d developed sometime the night before.
“well, start thinking. you’ve got a week.” you can see your dad smirking from the corner of your eye.
“what?” you blurt, blindsided. you’d need more than a fucking week.
“end of year gala, kid. pick a dress.”
fuck.
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youruser just posted on instagram
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liked by: maxfewtrell, mclaren, yourfriendmia and 442,689 others
youruser: commotion for the dress?
yourfriendmia: *commotion*
user5: on my knees begging
user1: no lando like? divorce? 😟
mclaren: always good to see you! 🧡
yourfriendnancy: kicking my feet looking at this lord have mercy
and 504 other comments
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you’re glowing, draped in champagne pink silk.
from the other side of the room, you watch lando, and he watches you. it’s like a game, who’s gonna break first? who’s going to extend the olive branch?
he looks so pretty in his suit that you would cry if there were any tears left in you, if you hadn’t purged them all out of frustration and longing in the week of radio silence.
you’re nursing a glass of champagne, waiting for dinner to start. the room is full of rich people with big ideas, icons of the racing world, both past and present. you make small talk with oscar and his girlfriend, exchange pleasantries with your father’s many friends, and beg that lando makes the first move.
the clinking against a glass indicates that dinner is ready to be served, and you scan the tables for your place card. apparently, the event coordinator has a vendetta against you, because scrawled in deep orange cursive on the place card next to yours is mr lando norris. you scan the room for the nearest exit. your grand scheme to flee in a floor length gown and too high heels is interrupted by the sound of your chair scraping out next to you.
you feel a ghost of breath against your bare shoulder. curls tickle your skin and then, a head rests in the crook of your neck.
he says your name, and the world stops for a second.
“i’m sorry.” lando whispers in your ear, and your heart falls to your stomach.
you whip around, holding him tight as you wrap your arms around him. the tension plaguing your body since abu dhabi dissipates in seconds.
“don’t apologise. just… i missed you.” you sigh.
“you look… fuck. you’re gorgeous.” he breathes in your ear. one hand skims low over your waist. something inside of you explodes.
you don’t even try to fight the blush that tinges your cheeks.
someone important is trying to make a toast, so you take your seats. you’re not listening to a word being said, though. you just smile at lando, and lando smiles back.
you’re gonna tell him, you decide. he has to know, although you suspect he already does; you can’t imagine another day without the privilege of him looking at you the way he is right now.
dinner is a breeze. you eat, drink, laugh at the stories exchanged. you remember why you love this world you were raised in, and find yourself grinning mindlessly at your father as he rattles off yet another wild tale from your travels. you’re lucky, you know you are, and it’s reaffirmed when the man sat beside you - who you think you love a bit more than platonically - drapes his arm over the back of your chair.
plates are cleared away and a band starts their set on the makeshift stage. the mtc is lit so beautifully, fairy lights twinkle above you casting dainty light over the makeshift dance floor.
“dance with me.” lando requests. he hates to dance at these functions, so you know the request comes from the heart.
“lead the way.”
he takes your hand and you make your way onto the floor, which is slowly filling up with other couples. his hold is firm, yet gentle, and you lean into him as he keeps you close. eventually, your ear is to his chest, and you can hear his heart hammering away. you melt further into him as the song plays out, and you wish it would play forever.
“we gonna talk about it?” lando murmurs, just loud enough over the music.
“we are.” you mumble against the lapel of his jacket.
“come home with me.”
you nod, inhaling the scent of his cologne; god, how you missed every little part of him.
you keep dancing and dancing, until the champagne runs out and the band starts to pack up.
-
the door slams softly behind you.
lando takes your coat, and you drop your bag on his coffee table. when you turn around to find him, he’s stood in the doorway watching you. there is so much to say, but you can barely form a thought.
“i can’t take this any longer.” lando tells you.
your breath hitches in your throat.
“neither can i.” you whisper.
“we can be more.”
“what do you want us to be?” your chest is tight and you’re looking at him so fucking intensely, desire as clear as day in your eyes.
“you know what i want. and i know you want it too.” he walks towards you slowly as he speaks, footsteps punctuating each word.
“i need to hear you say it.” you breathe. you’re shaking; you’re not sure if it’s the anticipation or the way you’re holding yourself back.
“all i want, all i ever wanted, is you.” he’s right in front of you and his hands are on your waist. you’re tingling everywhere.
lando’s nose bumps yours. you’re scanning his face, every line, freckle, slope that maps him out. he can’t help but look at your lips, darkened eyes flitting over your face. all you can hear is shaky breaths, and perhaps your heartbeat ringing in your ears.
“can i…?” lando mutters.
you close the gap some more, lips brushing his.
“of course you can.”
he kisses you like he’ll die if he doesn’t. his hands cup your cheeks and yours find his neck, gently pressing your fingertips into his skin. lando’s frantic, passionate, oh so careful as he deepens the kiss, pulling you somehow closer. you hum in surprise, and you feel him smirking. he’s moving hungrily, and you’re starving, impatient when your hands find his curls. the groan he emits at the sensation makes you ache for him all over.
you’re both panting when you pull away, the urgency to breathe the only thing stopping you. the relief you feel is astronomical, your lips lock perfectly and he feels wondrous under your explorative hands. he smiles wide and you grip his collar, pressing your forehead against his.
“i was gonna tell you, and then you turned up looking like this… fuck.” lando groans, and you can’t help but lean up into him once more.
the kiss is slower this time, languid, and he licks slowly into your mouth. his pupils are blown when you break apart and his eyes flutter open. your thighs clench under your dress.
“so, you like the dress?” you giggle incredulously, buzzing from the interaction. lando looks at you like you’re stupid.
“you look…” he runs his eyes over you, pausing mid sentence tentatively.
“say it.”
“fucking incredible.”
“thanks. bought it with you in mind.” you tease, smirking coyly.
his jaw goes slack; you can see him mentally undressing you, and then he’s kissing you all over again.
his bedroom isn’t far, but he insists on carrying you there, sweeping you up into his arms. he peppers kisses over your neck, kicking the door open with his dress shoe.
lando places you on your feet at the foot of his bed, smoothing his hands over the curve of your waist, the silk of your dress. he tucks your hair behind your ears, drawing you close once more as he does, cupping your face in large, calloused hands.
“what do you want tonight?” lando asks, searching your face for any sign of hesitancy.
“need you. all of you.” you keen into his touch, and his breath hitches in his throat.
“we’ll go slow.” he murmurs.
“no.” you shake your head, and his hands drop from your face. “don’t want to hold back anymore.” he finds your ass, grazing his fingers upwards until he finds the fastening of your dress. you maintain eye contact while he drags the zip down, shivering as your hear the faint buzz of the metal.
lando stops, just for a second in an attempt to compose himself.
“take it off. bought it so that you could take it off.” your brutal honesty breathes some urgency into him.
he keeps his eyes on yours as the silk falls off your body, pooling at your feet. the cool air brushes your skin - covered only by lacy panties and stilettos - but his touch warms you when he grabs your waist. lando walks you backwards until the backs of your knees hit the foot of the bed. he places you on the bed, on top of you like a shot, kissing you into the mattress.
he clambers off of you, sliding down your body until he reaches your heels. kisses trail up your legs while he takes them off, the thud of them hitting the floor making you jump. anticipation pools in your barely there underwear; he can see you, all of you, and he cannot bring himself to look away.
“careful with those, they were expensive.” you joke, but your voice sounds wrecked already. you can’t even imagine how you’ll sound when he’s done.
“i have different priorities right now.” he flashes a grin and you lose him between your legs.
your underwear stay on when he dives into your pussy, teeth scraping over your covered folds. he can definitely taste you already, stuttering out a moan as he casts his tongue over you. you sink deep into the sheets, bucking your hips into his face, but his hold on you is firm and you have to relent. he lets go of you for a moment, just to pull your panties down, and as soon as they’re gone, he’s delving deep into you.
the sounds he’s making are obscene, his entire face buried away. lando flicks his tongue over your clit, beginning an extended assault on your nerve endings, sucking hard and fast until you whimper his name. a knot forms in your core.
lando takes his mouth off of you, lips slick and glistening. he swipes his tongue over them, sitting back on his haunches. he begins rolling his sleeves up, and you manage to push yourself up so that you’re resting on your elbows. you reach out to toy with the buttons of his dress shirt, leaving his torso exposed to you. you rake your nails over his abs, transfixed on the way he tenses, shudders under your touch. once his sleeves are out of his way, he pushes you back. your hair fans out around you as he resumes his position between your legs.
one finger ghosts over your clit, poking and tracing the bud. you’re reeling, writhing at the feeling of everything and almost nothing at all. he drags the digit down until he finds your entrance, abandoning the teasing and slipping it inside of you. he twists his wrist, adding a second finger, grinding them deep. he’s slow with it, watches the way your face twists in euphoria, finding a deep sense of pride in the way he makes you shake.
“you have no fucking idea how long i’ve wanted to do this.” his words have you clamping down on him, fucking yourself onto his hand.
“the feeling’s mutual.” you gasp.
lando cocks an eyebrow. he scales your body until he’s hovering over you again, fingers still working in and out of you. the angle change is delightful, your back arching and your nipples harden as they skim his bare chest.
“is it, honey? was it mutual all those nights i pictured you next to me, right on this bed? all those nights i watched you dance in your short skirts? all those nights i carried you to bed and wished i could stay?” he whispers right into your ear. his fingers speed up.
“fuck, lando. yes.” you cry, mouth hanging slack.
“tell me. tell me how mutual it was and i’ll let you come, pretty girl.” he teases; goosebumps litter your skin. there he goes again with pretty girl. this fucking man.
“always wanted more… was too scared to ask for it.”
“oh?” he coos, mockingly.
“couldn’t lose you if you didn’t want me.” you pant. a weight lifts off your chest as you let the words slip, his efforts sending you hurtling towards an orgasm.
“not going anywhere.” he kisses the base of your throat. “ever.” he punctuates, thumb sliding over your clit. “let go, love.”
the wave of pleasure crashes on your shores and it doesn’t stop, rippling through your belly and down into your toes. lando’s name falls from your lips like a sin, over and over until you can’t even hear yourself anymore.
lando’s smiling when you come down, small and knowing. he pecks your lips, once, twice, humming into the kiss when your hands find a home under his shirt. it’s unbuttoned already, so it slides over his bronzed shoulders easily. you hear it thud softly when it hits the floor.
“what?” you catch him looking at you, giddy.
“i can’t believe we’re doing this.” he grins. his words overwhelm you.
“i know.” you beam up at him bashfully.
he undresses himself and then the wait is over, and god knows it was a long one. he finds home between your thighs, runs his cock through your folds.
“you sure?”
“don’t make me wait any longer.” you insist.
it takes you a moment to adjust; he strokes your walls nice and deep and you feel everything he has to offer you. it’s surreal, really, stretching around him like this. you’d only ever daydreamed of the possibility, and now that it’s happening you can’t quite believe it. he moans low, forehead resting on yours. you watch his eyes roll back when he bottoms out.
your lip is quivering; it’s too intense, he’s too good. he takes it slow, just like he’d insisted, but he grinds deep, long strokes making you dizzy. you leave imprints of crescents in his shoulder blades, marking his pristine skin.
you can’t take much more of this, his hips hitting yours at such a delectable pace. he drags in and out, building a blissful rhythm and you’re whimpering into his neck. your teeth dig into the muscled plane of skin, minimal pressure applied, and his thrusts turn erratic, curses tumbling freely from his pink parted lips. it makes you squirm, spilling all over him, white hot and wet.
lando collapses into your damp body, the room is humid. you drag your nails through his hair, pushing the sweat slicked curls off of his forehead, and then your hand thuds lazily against the pillow.
“i’m done pretending.” he mumbles. “i’m yours.”
the last few years of your life flash before your eyes. you think back to his buzz cut and every time you’d failed to rebound. you think of bleached hair and lies about love and how he always saw the best in you. you think of nothing but him, you, together. he’s carved into you now, you think he always has been.
you fall asleep happy. you’ll wake up by his side and then you’ll do it the morning after, and the one after that too.
-
youruser just posted on instagram
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liked by landonorris, mclaren, francisca.gomez, lilymhe and 735,641 others
youruser: our secret moments
landonorris: “only bought this dress so you could take it off” 🕺🏻✨💘
youruser: @ landonorris omg shut up (omw over)
user1: FINALLY
user4: bisexual panic is a real thing.
otheruser: i used to pray for times like these
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yourfriendmia: mum n dad
user63: mclaren ships it and so do i
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muzansfangs · 13 days
Note
I just wanna be silly since Aug 27th is my birthday, but I wonder how jjk characters would act on your birthday, I love shower thoughts🙃
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You spend your birthday with them.
Starring: Suguru Geto x f!reader; Satoru Gojo x f!reader; Sukuna Ryomen x f!reader; Choso Kamo x f!reader; mention to Yuji, Nobara, Nanami, Maki;
Format: head canons;
Warnings: fluff, consume of alcohol, jealousy, Sukuna is possessive and there are some red flags warnings in his part, robbery, slightly suggestive, party, wedding, parenting in Suguru’s part;
Plot: it’s your birthday and you are spending it with your beloved boyfriend. What is going to happen? Has he planned something to make your special day particularly memorable? Let’s find out!
﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏
Suguru Geto.
• What a gentleman. He woke you up that morning by leaving a trail of gentle, featherlike kisses down your shoulderblades. As you stirred in your sleep and peered up at him through your heavy eyelids, he smiled softly and kissed the tip of your nose affectionately “Happy birthday, love” he murmured, careful not to startle you as you gradually began to come back to your senses. The peace and quiet lasted only for a couple of seconds, before Nanako and Mimiko dashed into your bedroom and charged at you to squeeze the air out of your lungs with their tight embraces.
• Untangling the limbs of your ‘family’ you finally made it to the kitchen, where you already found an aboundant breakfast ready for you to enjoy. Suguru had made you the queen of his cult and, actually, the empress of his heart and house. Siding with him until the very end, you had helped him with the girls and he had made it his life goal to make you feel loved. He peppered your face with kisses as you ate your pancakes, before a war of cereals and whipped cream began, laughters and giggles filling the air of the house.
• Most of the day was spent shopping with the girls and strolling around the city. However, Suguru had already planned something special for you in the evening. When you made it back home, the girls obediently accepted to spend the evening with a babysitter and Suguru took your hand to lead you back to your shared bedroom. On the top of the bed there was a large black box, a silver ribbon exalting the elegance of the packet as he incited you to open it and wear what was inside.
• A Valentino dress was soon embracing your body as Suguru showered you in compliments and called a taxi for you two to have a nice dinner at the most exclusive restaurant in Tokyo. Fine wine, sweet nothings whispered to your ear as delicacies were served at your table one after the other.
• This man loved gifting you diamonds every now and then. How did you even stare at him in awe as he latched a beautiful necklace of rubies around your neck?
• You spent the night in a five stars hotel, sipping champagne and finally letting him worship your body like you deserved.
Satoru Gojo.
• He gave a terrible migraine to every mutual friend of yours. In particular, he drove Kento insane. It was your damn birthday, how could you expect your boisterous and popular boyfriend to keep it low? He threw a party for you at his penthouse, going as far as inviting the higher-ups as well. Multicolored lights and baloons were in every angle of his house, music so loud speaking with the hosts was nearly impossible. However, you had to admit he had taste in picking the right decorations to meet your expectations.
• Expensive bottles of champagne everywhere and a pile of presents were waiting for you in the middle of the living room. Next to it, a very tired Nanami, choleric at your boyfriend, blew into a silver trumpet with a conical blue paper hat on the top of his hair. His eyes were sincerely wishing you a happy birthday, but you knew he was silently warning you that your dear boyfriend Satoru was going to die by his hand pretty soon. After the party, most likely. You could not blame him.
• Once the party ended, Satoru literally jumped on you. The make-out session was pretty heated, as you two rolled over his king sized bed, kind of tipsy but in your right minds. You did not expect him to give you an extra present. Apparently, the necklace with a sapphire pendant was not enough. The moment he knelt before you with a velvet box in his hand, you gawked. Tears of joy rolled down your cheeks as he asked you to become his wife. How could you decline?
• The moron posted a picture of your hand and the sparkling jem adorning your ring finger a couple of minutes later and you spent the night answering to best wishes and Kento’s comment.
• “Widowed a day after the wedding. Sorry, ‘@ y/n’”.
• You wondered why Yuji had liked that comment, but then you assumed Sukuna had probably just taken over his body to be a pain in the ass.
• Overall, you cuddled a lot, making plans for the future. The first thought coming up to his mind was asking you to move over, because he would have been able to protect you non-stop, if you lived together. And this was the beginning of a fairytale.
Ryomen Sukuna.
• It was your what? A birthday? Mortals and their weird festivities. How could someone be happy to age? A step closer to death and you still seemed happier than ever. The first thing he did was attempting to be nice in his brutal way: he offered you sex. When you shut the door at his face he connected the dots. Maybe, he needed to understand what women liked to do on such special occasions.
• He saw a man buying flowers for his girlfriend and thought you might have appreciated the gesture. A faminine thing for you to enjoy could not a bad idea, right? A few minutes later he was banging at your door demanding you to let him in. He dropped dozens of roses onto your table, leaving you speechless but genuinely suprised.
• “Who told you to buy me flowers? That’s way too romantic coming from you” you teased him, planting a kiss onto his cheek.
• “I saw a fool buying it. I robbed the florist”.
• You facepalmed and offered him to stay with you for the day, because you had invited some friends over to eat lunch together. He did not mind, or this is what he said. He really tried to behave, but your friend was glued to your hip and, according to him, his eyes were transfixed on your ass. He almost sent that poor guy to hospital, but you were lucky he had leave for a last minute mishap.
• Once everyone was gone, you two bickered. However, it ended up in the only way he had wanted to begin the day with. Clothes gone, lips latched onto your neck and a night of passion no man could have ever been able to offer you.
• Unfortunately, you were in love with that savage.
Choso Kamo.
• Man on a mission. Ever since Yuji explained the importance of birthdays and some basics about ‘how to make a girl happy’, he had spent weeks trying to organize a perfect date night for you two. A date night, yes, because he thought throwing a small party at lunch with your mutual friends would have made you happy and it did. But he wanted some attentions too, in private.
• His birthday present for you was a polaroid. Obviously, he could not stop himself from blushing, the tip of his ears turning reddish, as he handed you the small box with a huge purple ribbon to adorn the lid. He told you he had heard you tell Nobara and Maki you wanted to buy a polaroid to decorate your bedroom with pictures of your friends and he admitted he wanted the first photograph you would have taken to be with him.
• He took you to the ferris-wheel in the evening and stared at you enamoured of your smile the whole time. He did not give a damn about the landscape, when he had his whole world in front of him. He was so lovesick, but it did not mind. Once you got off, he bought you anything you wanted. Candy-floss? Peppermint sticks? Pizza? Name something and he went to fetch it for you in a nick of time.
• A powerful boyfriend meant tons of plushies won at the different stalls. When he spotted a huge lilac teddy bear holding a heart in his paws, Choso went straight for it and beated the records indicated on the giant sign at the entrace of the small shop just to see your eyes widen and twinkle in adoration. He might have grinned mockingly at a kid on your way out, triumphantly carrying the plushie for you.
• When you began to get tired, he took you home. Resting your head on the top of his shoudler during the bus ride, you dozed off and he did not have the heart to wake you up, when you looked so sweet and lovely. He might have glared at any person staring at you, whilst you were asleep, but it was his protective instinct kicking in. He behaved.
• Back into your flat, he snuggled into a cocoon of blankets with you into your bed and you smiled, upon hearing him uttering sweet nothings in your ear “I love you, I love you, I love you” he murmured continuously. Naturally, he let you be the little spoon. He would have done anything for his ‘princess’. He wondered if his brother would have been proud of him, because Choso was surely giving it his best shot!
• Sleepy make-out sessions were definitely the best part of the day, before you finally succumbed to sleep.
AUTHOR NOTE.
Hello there! This was supposed to be published sooner, but happy belated birthday honey! I hope you enjoyed this small scrap🥹❤️
Love you,
Luce
266 notes · View notes
paranoiastudio · 3 months
Text
My dear friend
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pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x f!reader
warnings: +18 smut, virginity loss, p in v, dirty talk, masturbation, oral (m for f), creampie
word count: 2,5k
English is not my first language, sorry about mistakes
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All mothers say that choosing a profitable match is extremely important for any lady. Your mother always said that strong love is built on friendship and mutual respect between people. You believed that marriage is not as important as many people think and always called yourself different, unable to become a victim of this system.
- You’re so beautiful... - The words that escaped Benedict’s lips make you tremble in his arms. - I am the happiest men in the world, my love.
This evening you agreed to his proposal to marry him. When you first met Benedict Bridgerton at the ball last season, you never thought it would go this far. At first you saw him as a pleasant companion and a strong figure who could protect you from annoying gentlemen.
Once upon a time, the mere thought of a man touching you caused an unpleasant shiver. And now you are lewdly clinging to Benedict and reaching out for another kiss, wanting to get as much as possible.
- Little greedy thing... - Benedict bites your earlobe. - You have no idea how many things I would like to do with you, but we won’t do that today.
- Why? - You’re breathing heavily, your chest is heaving, the skin that’s not covered by the fabric of your dress is a little red. - I want you, Benedict.
A muffled moan reaches your ears and you feel the weight of his desire through the fabric of your clothes, Bridgerton presses against your thigh, shamefully rubbing himself against you.
You saw ancient statues and paintings, looked at the drawings in your father’s medical atlases, but you still felt unprepared for what nature gave you.
- You are teasing me. - Benedict’s lips find yours again and you shamelessly allow him to penetrate your mouth with his tongue, his beautiful hand wrapping around the back of your head and pulling you closer. - How about an engagement gift, my dear?
You just nod vigorously, unable to say a word. Benedict smiles, accepting your answer, and, taking your hand, leads you a little deeper into the garden labyrinth, where no one will see you.
Finding a beautiful carved shop in a dark corner, Bridgerton plops down in the middle and pulls you towards him. You, holding your dress, sit on top of him, your pussy squeezing at the feeling of his strong and warm thigh, which twitched slightly and sent sparks to the very center of your arousal.
- Show me how much you want... I must to see... - You look into the man’s eyes and believe that he needs it. He appears ill: he is breathing deeply, his hair is tousled, and his vest is unbuttoned. He looks at you with dark and shiny eyes, moving his worried gaze over your face.
- What do I need to do? - You knew that Benedict is clearly much more experienced in this matter. Your words sent a jolt of excitement through Benedict’s already hard cock, you looked so innocent and slutty at the same time.
He helps you lift up all your skirts and get rid of your underwear, with a slow movement he sits you back on his thigh and you moan, feeling the thick fabric of your pants with your naked pussy.
-You can ride me, honey. Fuck yourself on my leg. - Your body seems to know what needs to be done and you move your hips immediately, clinging your sore clitoris to your trousers. - Oh, my girl...
Benedict wraps one arm around your waist, the other holding your hip and helping you catch the pace. Your thighs quickly begin to burn from the unusual position, but you cannot stop, looking into the face of your beloved man, who caught your every breath and moan.
- Nice job on hips, miss. - Benedict smiles and lifts the dress higher, exposing your most intimate parts to the cold evening air.
- God, I... - You feel a familiar feeling inside, you’ve already experienced this before, the same feeling appeared when you touched yourself at night.
Knowing how good it will be, you speed up and moan from the tension throughout your body. Benedict watches where your bodies touch, your juices staining his pants, but he doesn't care; you moan and squirm on him in the dark corner of the garden, but he doesn’t care; he's ready to cum in his pants at any moment, but he doesn't care.
- The Lord will forgive me for this weakness, right, my girl? - Benedict reaches out and touches your clit terribly slowly, watching your beautiful eyes widen. - You are the most beautiful sin that one can succumb to.
The feeling of someone else's hand is completely different: Benedict touches you lightly and carefully, studying you. His fingers are much thicker and longer than yours, and they flutter as quickly as when he draws. The thought that you are like his creation only excites you even more.
- God, what are you doing to me? - Benedict accelerates the movement on the clitoris and you scream, the echo of your scream will forever remain in this garden labyrinth.
What are you doing with it? You're now chasing your orgasm, rubbing yourself on the thigh of someone who isn't even your husband yet, nearly naked and so loud you'd think you wanted to get caught. And Benedict asks what are you doing with him? What is this man doing to you?!
- Please... - You don’t know what you’re asking for, only squeezing Benedict’s shoulders tighter.
-Are you close? - He leans forward and wraps both arms around you. -Cum for me, darling. Cum on my leg, show me.
You whimper and suddenly freeze for a second, only to shudder in the next moment and several more times run your womb dripping with lubricant over the expensive fabric, the stains on which cannot be unnoticed.
- It was... - You open your eyes and still see flashes before your eyes. This is much stronger than the times when you touched yourself; Next to Benedict you are like an exposed nerve, sensitive to everything in the world.
- Magical. - The man kisses you on the corner of your lips, takes you off his leg and straightens your outfit. -You did so well, my girl.
You giggle, hiding your red face from embarrassment and excitement on Benedict’s shoulder. He holds you in his arms and gently strokes you until you stop shaking.
- When I did it myself, the feelings were different... - You look at the stars, playing with your gloved fingers with Benedict’s fingers.
- Did you do it yourself? - You hear the smile in his voice. - Mrs. Bridgerton, you surprise me. On our wedding night you will show me everything, understand?
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- You can’t imagine how amazing you look now. - You hear Benedict as if from under water, you’re so carried away.
Having promised you that you would show him how you played with yourself, he wasn’t joking at all. As soon as your husband undressed you in what is now your shared bedroom, he remembered his words and now you are lying naked on the large bed and caressing your slippery folds, allowing Benedict to see absolutely everything.
- Fuck! - You squeeze your bare chest. The orgasm is so close and you intend to catch it, after such an exhausting and long day, you wanted to get a release as quickly as possible.
- My dear wife is angry... - Benedict licks his lips and crawls closer to you. - This is unacceptable.
Grabbing your hips, Benedict slams into your wet pussy and hums lowly, caressing you so intensely that you don’t even have time to warn him and cum on the man’s face so hard that your toes involuntarily curl.
- I didn’t even have time to really touch you. - The man chuckles, collecting droplets of your excitement on his finger. - You are so sensitive, my dear, tempting you will be a real pleasure.
- No, please, I want it so much... - You almost choke on your saliva, afraid that Benedict will really decide to mock you.
- Don't worry so much. - He ends up on top and deftly spreads your legs with his knee. When did he take off his clothes? You wanted to do it yourself, but it seems like you really lost track of time. - Today I will make you mine, we will have time to play another day, right?
You hug your husband with all your limbs and raise your hips, not at all afraid of what is about to happen. The maids and married friends shared some details, but the overall image was still a little blurry. You knew only one thing for sure: you have never wanted to do this with anyone more than now with Benedict Bridgerton, your new husband.
- You may be hurt, my love. I don’t... - Benedict leans on his elbows. - I won’t be able to take this pain for myself, but I promise that this won’t happen again.
You nod as if you completely understood what he was talking about, and Benedict, trying not to frighten you with the expectation, thrusts his hips forward, penetrating almost completely inside. Your nails dig into his thin skin on his shoulders, you squeeze your whole body, only then realizing that it would be easier to relax.
-Are you okay? - Benedict freezes the moment you look up at him again. He haven't seen eyes full of love and tenderness more than yours.
- Everything is fine, just a little unpleasant. - You exhale through your nose and completely relax. - Are you in pain?
There was sweat on Benedict's forehead, he hadn't moved since he was inside you. You run your hand through his soft hair and the man reaches for your touch and moans softly.
- Not at all. - He places a light kiss on your forehead and moves his pelvis slightly. - It’s so nice inside you that I’m afraid I won’t last long.
The meaning of his words, like many other words that described the relationship between a man and a woman, was not entirely clear to you, but the tone in which he spoke to you made you tremble.
- Ooo! - You squeeze Benedict and he can’t help but sigh with pleasure. - You will destroy me.
You pull your husband to you and kiss him passionately, repeating the movements with your tongue that you managed to remember during the many kisses that you shared before.
- Tell me if it hurts, okay? - He will receive confirmation from you, Benedict makes several shallow thrusts and you both feel how your velvet walls stretch, letting the man in deeper.
- You can move faster. - You catch your husband’s gaze and move closer to his movements. It’s like a wave that energetically but gently washes you, the sandy shore, from all sides. - Please make me yours, Benedict.
These words and your big innocent eyes made Bridgerton growl with desire, he increases the speed, penetrating into you faster and faster, touching more and more new points.
You hear your bodies touching wet slaps and groan dully, feeling something familiar and at the same time completely unknown. You never ended up with something (or someone) inside.
- Benedict, I...
- It's okay, my love. Just let go, I'm holding you. - You look into his eyes until they close with pleasure. Squeezing Benedict's cock felt amazing, you could feel your pussy literally singing around him and trying to milk him for every last drop.
- Please! Forgive me, fill me, I want more... - You push the sticky hair out of your face and spread your legs wider, allowing your husband to rub your clitoris with his free hand.
- Yes? - Benedict doesn’t stop, wanting to give you the most wonderful first time he could ever have. - Do you want me to fill you, sweet girl? Do you want to give birth to my child?
- More than anything else, please... - You meow and squeeze your chest, trying to ease this overwhelming tension. - I want to cum so bad!
- Come on baby, get my dick wet. - These dirty words made your pussy clench again and this moment became your death. The wave engulfed you, knocking you off balance until you lost your vision. You scream and squeeze Benedict so tightly that marks from your nails will probably appear on his shoulders.
Before you have time to recover from this state, Benedict picks you up and puts you on all fours, eagerly examining the view in front of him. Your plump and wet pussy throbbed invitingly in front of him and the man was not ready to retreat.
Leaning forward, he wraps his lips around your bud and sucks on the hot flesh. You suddenly kick and only slam your sweet pussy harder into the man’s face. He takes your ass, holding you and spreading your buttocks to the sides, plays with you with his tongue and you make a new batch of indecent sounds.
- The most beautiful woman in the world. - Benedict changes position and enters you from behind, immediately picking up a wild pace. You feel his balls slapping against your thighs, Benedict penetrates you with loud pops, your leaking pussy wets him every minute, easing the friction.
- Benedict, this is so good... - Saliva dripping onto the expensive sheets, you pressed your face against the cool fabric and only accepted your husband’s large cock, which moved behind you at an unrelenting pace.
- I'll cum inside you, my dear. I will fill you with my seed... - Ben grabs you by the throat and forces you up, his hand continues to move down. - Right here.
He wraps his large hand around you and rubs your clit again, catching your pathetic whimpers in his kiss. You jump up and down in anticipation, wanting to get everything he promises you. You want everything!
- You’ll be swollen with my baby, and when your beautiful pussy is rested, I’ll fuck another baby inside you. I will fuck you every day, wherever you want. Would you like it?
- Y-yes, please.
- That's right, my little slut. Only mine! - Ben squeezes your waist tighter, you feel that his thrusts are not so accurate and fast, he was close. - Come on, sweetie, take it all like a good girl.
Warm cum coats you from the inside, you hear the squelching sound with which Ben continued to take you, pushing the cum back inside.
You fall face first into the bed, your ass left in the air and you feel the remnants of your passion running down your leg. Benedict strokes your back and helps you sit down on the bed, remaining next to you.
- When can we do this again? - And again you look at Benedict with your huge eyes, batting your eyelashes as if you weren’t just screaming under him like a whore, ready to let Bridgerton fill you in any way he wants.
- I will need a little time. - Ben laughs, playing with your thin hand. - We have the whole night ahead of us, and I still have so much to show you.
- My cousin told me that I can put you in my mouth. Will you let me?
- God! - Benedict ends up on top of you and kisses you. - You're just a treasure.
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dianneking · 4 months
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The Bet - Brienne/Reader bookshop AU
Hi dears, in case you wanted some trashy, slightly angsty romance bookshop AU starring none other than the majestic Brienne of Tarth as well as yourself...well, look no further cause you're in the right place! It is with great pleasure that I present you
The Bet
Tags: Alternate Universe - Bookshop, Out of character, Angst with a happy ending, POV second person, Idiots in love, Mutual Pining, Misunderstanding, Panic Attacks, Hints of past violence, Swearing. Word count: 5423.
AO3 link in the title above.
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"Hello?" 
You did a double take when you lifted your eyes from the monitor. You didn't mean to, but the woman in front of you was not the kind of person that usually found her way to your tiny bookshop. 
She was...well, she was imposing , to begin with: taller than you'd ever seen a woman be, with broad shoulders that the t-shirt she was wearing did nothing to hide...and she looked clearly out of her environment among the shelves, standing with her back ramrod straight and her hands clasped in front of her, shifting from foot to foot, a frown taking over her face the more and more you looked at her without saying anything. As if she was waiting for your reply...
Oh!
Right.
"Oh uhm sorry, yes? Uh hi, welcome! What brings you to our bookshop today?" You cringed at your own awkwardness, but her expression didn't change too much from her frown.
"I lost a bet."
"A...bet?" Well this was unexpected. Surely your little shop was not so scary that getting into it was a dare? And this woman in front of you looked as if she'd be afraid of very little. She looked more disgruntled than scared anyways, light eyebrows corrugating over those piercing, beautiful blue eyes, lips pressing together as her nostrils flared out. She looked like the type of woman who spends more time in a gym than in a bookshop but apart from that, you had no idea what kind of bet would bring her here. Not that you were complaining. 
"Yes. I lost a bet and now I have to buy a book here. Surely you can provide me with one." She enunciated, as if she was talking to the dumbest person alive. You didn't care. Her accent was melting your insides into a pile of goo. 
I'd like to provide you with my number , your mind dreamily suggested as a reply, but you squashed it ruthlessly down. Not every woman with muscles is interested in other women, you reminded yourself. And even if she were, it didn't follow that she would be interested in you , anyway - the woman was the definition of Out Of Your League, with her short blonde hair, her chiseled jaw, her strong arms crossed on her chest…and you had lost your train of thought once again. 
"Hmmmm yes sure. Uhm not a fan of reading?" She bristled as if you had insulted her.
"Of course I read .” She scoffed “I make time to read daily. I simply don't waste my time with all of this..." she gestured around her, vaguely including the manga section and the horror shelves in her speech "...this fiction ." She spat the word as if it had offended her by its own existence.
Right.
If you had to be completely honest, if it had been anyone else insulting your beloved books, you'd have been all up in their faces. These weren't just books, they were your babies, your companions during the long days at work and your even longer sleepless nights, they were your best friends in a way no human ever could aspire to be. From the moment you had understood that in those pages lied countless stories, adventures you could partake in, emotions you had never felt, you were in love with reading already.
That's why you were working here, day after day, smiling up at the shelves filled to the brim, cursing the paperwork and cleaning and everything that kept you away from cracking open the newest release and losing yourself in its pages.
You loved your job because you loved books.
So anyone insulting your papery companions would be treated to your Cold Stare™ and Dismissive Attitude™.
And yet...you guessed this woman was clearly misguided in her dismissing all fiction with such a sneer. The fact that her sneer was so damn attractive didn't absolutely play any role in your sudden conciliatory attitude. Absolutely not. Nuh-huh. Not at all.
"Hello? Are you still there?" 
Well, fuck. Daydreaming of a client when they are in front of you. Great way to appear professional, and to make a good first impression on a gorgeous first-time client.
"Huh. Yeah, uhm sorry, I was thinking of possible recommendations that would suit your needs. What are your general interests?" You tried to patch things up only to be once again met with her frown.
"That is a useless endeavor. I will not enjoy wasting my time reading it anyways. Just give me one." 
"But you will read it?" 
"Of course! I did give my word."
Her word . Who said that nowadays? Giving your word? That was the stuff of old, of knights, of epic tales of heroism, of... fiction .
Oh.
You might have the right book for this hard, formal, stunning woman.
You stood up, surprising her with your sudden movement, but you didn't notice the way her eyebrows shot up, nor the way her eyes followed you as you made your way to the book, rising to your tiptoes to reach it.
You presented it to her like a hunter presents their caught prey.
"This." 
She gingerly caught it between her fingers, as if it could bite her, or worse, contaminate her with the debauchery of reading for pleasure.
"This?" 
"You'll like it." 
"Haven't you listened? I said I don't like fiction."
"I heard you. You didn't say you don't like it. You said you don't read it." You didn't even know where the confidence came from, but you were sure. This was the right book for her.
She seemed to be surprised by it. Surprised enough to give up her fight with a huff. 
"I guess I might as well get this since you're so sure about it." 
She started skimming the first pages as you rang it up for her, and you could see her frown slightly easing up.
You hid your smile, feeling it pulling at the corners of your mind as she absent-mindedly handed you her card, paid and wandered out the shop, her nose still in the book.
____
"So about that little bet we had, did you get the book?" 
Brienne didn't like admitting she was wrong. She sure as shit wouldn't admit that to Jaime of all people. She wouldn't hear the end of it.
But no matter all of her misgivings, she was enjoying that book. The plot had captivated her against her will, and more than one time she had found herself up until the early morning hours glued to the pages, lost in the description of adventures that had never happened if not in the fantasy of the author.
Such a far cry from her usual dry, factual fare of nonfiction books. Boring , some would call them, practical , she’d counter. You see, Brienne was a practical woman and she happened to like that about herself. And if people found her boring, it was their fault, not her own.
"Yes, I did get that" she replied in a bored tone, hiding her excitement below her well-polished mask.
She thought of the excitement on your face as you got the idea of suggesting this book to her. Of how smug you had looked when handing her the volume.
So sure she'd like it. And the most shocking aspect of it all was the fact that she did. 
And maybe, maybe in the privacy of her own mind she could admit to herself that she also thought of the way your shirt had risen as you reached for the book, exposing a sliver of your midriff as it did so. And the way your eyes had sparkled when you had handed her the novel, challenge and amusement and confidence mixing in your gaze. 
She had liked that too, just like the book, and just like the book she had liked it almost against her better judgment.
________
"How did you do it?"
Your heart skipped a beat as she charged into the shop, the bell ringing behind her long after she had entered, a thunderous frown on her face, the copy of the book she had purchased from you tightly held in her slender yet strong fingers.
She had gorgeous hands too…some people were just blessed with beauty, you thought. And you were blessed with being able to see and talk to such beauty.
The smile that climbed to your face was not your usual customer service one, but a warmer one, a special one just for her.
"So, did you like it?" 
She looked taken aback at your warmth, and you could see the faint beginning of a blush on her cheeks.
"I did, if you must know it!" She looked offended at the very thought. It was adorable.
"Oh I am so glad to hear that! The author is an emerging one, only has another one published, if you liked their style you might enjoy this too!"
"What for?"
"Why, as your next fiction book, of course. Isn't that why you came back?"
"I…maybe."
This time your smile got a definite hint of smugness in it.
"Are you going to fight me over this one too? Should I dare you to read this as well?"
"Listen here, don't get cocky. You just got lucky there. It won't happen again."
It did.
As a matter of fact it kept happening, and you fell into a sort of beautiful bookish routine. Depending on how long the book was and how busy she was, your favorite client would grace your shop with her presence once every couple of weeks or more, always putting up an offended front at having liked the fiction book you had suggested and yet always asking for another one.
Slowly but steadily she would start opening up about what she liked in them, allowing you to start collecting tidbits of information about her as well - she loved historical fiction, and fantasy too. She wasn't so keen on sci-fi and urban fantasy unless the plot was somehow worth it. She loved strong female main characters and complex character arcs. 
During the day she was kept busy from her work (law enforcement, she told you on one occasion, and didn’t go in more detail, you wondered if she was just a regular cop or maybe something cooler), but she found time to read in the evenings ("Mornings are absolutely for working out, no way I am skipping that for a book. Even if it is a good one.” she had stated, as if it was the law, and you had nodded dumbly, once again mesmerized by the intensity of her gaze, even if you woke up with a book and read it during breakfast and on the commute to the shop and couldn’t think of a better way to start the day). 
_______
“And I loved the world building in this one, the interaction between the characters, and I can't wait to read the second part and understand where these mechanical enemies are originating from!” 
You looked up at her as she agitatedly waved her copy of Clockwork Boys in the air, trying to express how much she had enjoyed it. You found it hard to believe how different she was from the hard, reluctant person that had first set foot in your shop. Mesmerizing. Just as she was. 
Suddenly you felt brave, braver than you'd ever thought you could be.
“In two weeks the author is going to be at our local book fair, if you'd like…maybe we could…go together?” you stumbled on your words a little and you could feel your cheeks getting hotter but that didn't change the fact that you had managed to ask your crush out!! 
And she didn't say no! She looked a bit stunned for a second but then she ran her free hand through her hair (oh it looked so soft and silky, you wanted to bury your hands in it too).
“Sure! Is it going to be Tuesday in two weeks, right?”
“Y-yeah.” Had she just…?
“Cool, I have the day off anyways, so it works like a charm.” She… She…
While your brain was still reeling, unable to process the fact that she had said yes , she grabbed the stack of post-its and pen and started jotting down something.
You blinked at her, unsure of what to make of the string of numbers you were seeing until she straightened up and handed you the sticky note with a…was it a shy smile pulling her lips up? Her eyes had never looked so big before, of that you were sure.
You looked at the sticky note. It was a pink one, and you had to resist the childish urge to draw hearts all around the numbers. You just were so happy! You thought as you went to save it into your phone, only belatedly noticing a glaring tactical error on your side. 
You still didn't know her name!
You felt like hitting your forehead on the desk. How was this even a thing? Who doesn't know their crush’s name? You, that's who. Too busy ogling her and inviting her to book fairs to remember to ask her her frickin name! 
Hehe. But you did ask her out and she did say yes. That had to count for something, right?
You looked down at your phone and then typed up “ My Knight 🩷 ” in the name field, struggling to contain the giggle that threatened to escape your lips. In another world she would have totally been a proud knight, protecting the defenseless and fighting for justice, you were sure of it. And she would have looked gorgeous in armor. 
Tomorrow, you told yourself. You'd text her to work things out tomorrow. Surely you could resist that long. The fair was ages away anyway. You could resist a handful of hours to avoid seeming desperate, surely you could.
You texted her that same night, of course. 
But she did reply almost instantly, and you managed to start a conversation beyond the bare minimum details of your…was it a date? It had to be a date, right?
She told you about her dinner, and how she had already started on the sequel of the book she had just finished. You could almost feel her excitement through the message.
You fell asleep with your phone beside you on the pillow, dreaming of soft blonde hair and armor  and book fair dates. 
____________
"Are you the one who's been selling Brienne fiction?" 
You were pretty sure you had never seen the man who had just entered your shop as if he owned it. 
"I'm sorry?" 
"You know, Brienne? Tall, blonde? Hates all fiction books except the ones you've been selling her?" 
So that was your knight's name! And what a roundabout way to learn it! Just like in the best novels, it seemed that you had been spared the humiliation of asking her for her name after you’d known each other for months. 
Brienne.
You liked the way it sounded. 
Brienne.
It sounded like the name of a warrior, a strong, hard-headed and hard-working woman who'd stop at nothing to achieve her dreams. A knight. 
“I am Jaime by the way, nice to meet you. So are you the one?" He offered you his hand, you took it mechanically, trying to answer his question without giving too much away. Your knight’s reading habits were none of this dude’s business,that’s for sure.
"I don't know if I am the only one. Maybe she just doesn't tell you about all the fiction she enjoys."
"Nice try to defend her honor. I see why she likes you."
She liked you?
Butterflies erupted in your stomach and it took all of your self-control to avoid bursting into a happy dance.
She liked you!! Shelikedyoushelikedyou.
She liked you. 
She liked you.
She liked you !
The man in front of you kept talking, oblivious to the cheering going on within your brain.
"Listen, I know Brienne, okay? She's a lovely girl but I had to bet with her to make her unwind enough to consider reading something for pleasure."
“Well she probably didn't find the right book until now.”
“Or the right book dealer… so are you hers or not?” 
"Maybe I am…But why do you want to know that?"
“Well if you were , I'd owe you a huge thanks and possibly a round of drinks, cause she's been in a downright good mood for the past months, and especially in the past week or so. As her partner, I spend most of the day with her, and believe me, I am beyond grateful for the change.”
Oh.
Her…
Oh.
Of course.
Of course she had a boyfriend. No, a partner. That's even more committed, right?You had been so stupid. Stupid and stupidly hopeful. So hopeful and you'd once again mistaken friendship for something else, just like you did so many times in the past. 
You tried to swallow around that piece of news, you kept on a brave face while he still waffled about something or something else, but you had no idea what he was talking about.Nor did you care, all the joy that had taken over you had just as quickly dissolved, leaving a bitter aftertaste in your mouth.
You didn't remember him leaving, but you knew that you were quick to lock the door after him and close up shop.Only then, surrounded by your beloved books, you allowed yourself to break down and cry all of your tears.
____________
You didn't cancel on Brienne, even if a part of you wanted to do nothing but stay home and mope. Yet you were sure you'd regret it for the rest of your life if you didn't go. 
And she had looked so happy when you had invited her. She probably didn't have a lot of female friends, you thought. When she talked of her hobbies, it had always been things that she did on her own. Working out, reading, jogging. 
She was probably glad to have some company. Someone to talk to that she vibed with. That was that. It had always been that, and you reading more into it didn't change the harsh truth.
Your heart was beating faster when you pulled up to the parking lot of the venue, but it was more due to trepidation than happiness. You had been preparing yourself mentally for a bookish date with your crush, not for…an outing with a friend. You weren't sure how to behave now, your mind too busy going through every single interaction the two of you had had, dissecting each word, each smile, each playful joke at each other's expense. When did you start thinking you could have a chance? At what point had your hopes become delusions?
Your phone started buzzing as you got out of the car. “My Knight 🩷” appeared on the screen, and you had to swallow against a hard knot. 
You know you should have changed the name. You knew her name now, and she most definitely wasn't your knight. And yet…you still hadn't.
With a sigh, you picked up, trying to be optimistic despite the dread pooling in your stomach. You could do this. Friends. You could hang out with your friend that just happened to be the hottest woman you'd ever seen. It was going to be okay. 
_____
It was not okay. 
It was anything but okay. 
Who thought that Brienne was going to be the kind of straight girl that gets all touchy-feely with her female friends? She had hugged you when you two met up and you thought you would die on the spot, surrounded by her arms and her perfume and the happiness of her voice.
And then as you walked through the venue, weaving through the stands, checking out books (you couldn't remember a single one you'd seen, preoccupied as you were with your companion) her hand kept finding excuses to touch you, once on the shoulder to get your attention, once wrapping around your elbow to direct you to a certain stand, once simply splayed on your back as you discussed cover designs.
It was torture. Every time her warm hands touched you, your heart would start racing, still stubborn in its hopefulness. But then you’d remember that it was all in your head and your heart would painfully constrict because oh it would have been so nice if it had just been true.
By the time you sat down in the auditorium where the author panel was about to start, you were a jittering mess. 
You kept replaying each interaction you had with Brienne, trying to rationally explain to your heart why, even if it might seem like she was coming onto you, she had a boyfriend and therefore it had to be her way of being friendly. 
Yes, even when she placed her hand squarely on your knee as the authors started their introductions.
To be honest you weren't sure what had been said at the panel. You mechanically laughed when you felt others do the same, and studied Brienne’s profile out of the corner of your eye. She had a soft smile on her face. As if she was enjoying herself. As if there was nothing wrong with the way her hand was resting on your leg, absentmindedly stroking lazy patterns with her thumb. Driving you mad. 
You were so engrossed in your thoughts and in her touch that you hadn't even noticed that the panel had ended, and most of the spectators had filed away, leaving the two of you alone in the auditorium.
You did notice Brienne shifting in her seat to turn towards you. Mainly because that caused her hand to climb slightly up your leg, putting it decidedly in the thigh area. Clearly an oversight on her part, but you could feel your breathing getting slightly quicker, and looking up to see her stunning eyes trained on you with laser-sharp focus didn't help you with that.
How unfair.
How terribly unfair for her to be so close, and yet unreachable.
How crushing that her hand, searing hot on your thigh, was not a promise of something more.
How sad that you'd never get to kiss those lips even if they were getting closer as Brienne leaned towards you…you could see her blonde lashes fluttering slightly, the small scar on her upper lip, her breath light on your face…
Suddenly she was too close.
Your heart jumped in your throat, and it felt like it had cut off all of your air supply. 
There was a ringing in your ears, and your skin was crawling hot and cold at the same time. 
You could see the little scar on her lip almost flickering, as your vision swam with black, and you knew without any doubt that you had to 
GET OUT OF HERE!! 
______
"So this is where you've been hiding." Brienne's voice was not warm anymore. You guiltily looked up at her from your spot on the bench. She wasn't smiling at you anymore and you wanted to hit yourself for that. It wasn't her fault that you had misunderstood all of her cues and kept seeing what your wishful thinking desired, and yet she had been the one to go through the pains of searching for you while you hid away to work your way down your panic attack.
She sat down beside you, a heavy sigh on her lips.
"I need to ask you something."
Oh. There it comes, you thought. The direct questioning that preceded the gentle let down. The 'I'm flattered but I don't feel the same' speech. As if you had never heard it before. Your heart remembered the pain as if it had been yesterday, and valiantly tried to brace itself for the inevitable rejection.
"Why?"
Huh? That…that was not what you expected her to start with, but she kept talking, and you had no choice but listen. "Why ask me out if you're so clearly uncomfortable with me? Is this some sick joke? It wasn't enough to prove me wrong over and over again? You wanted to humiliate me, too?" 
You could only stare open-mouthed at Brienne as she rained down harsh words on you, anger and pain mixing on her face. She was so beautiful. Even when angry. She looked like a vengeful angel, the righteous hand of God, coming to punish you for daring to hope too much .
"I-I'm sorry." You tried to explain yourself, but she didn't let you, her voice hard and cutting and relentless.
" You are sorry ? Is that all you can say? That's not enough for me. Especially when it's clearly bullshit. Do you think that's the first time people make fun of me? That someone thinks that going out with Brienne The Beauty is the funniest prank on Earth? Did you do it for a laugh, hm? Didn't expect me to say yes when you asked?" 
"No, actually I did not."
"You! The fucking nerv-"
"I didn't dare to hope you'd say yes because you're out of my league!" 
A stunned silence met your words. You didn't know where the strength to interrupt her came from but you had to. You couldn't let her go on thinking you had asked her out to make fun of her or something. And once you started talking, you couldn't help yourself. The truth had to come out, so you pushed on: "Which clearly you are. But you said yes and I…Brienne, I am so sorry. I tend to live in my head and you were so nice to me and I thought…but clearly I shouldn't have. Thank goodness Jaime told me before I made a fool of myself. Which apparently I still did. Fuck. I am sorry for that, I promise you I am enjoying myself today and I am sorry I am awkward and I understand if you don't want to see me anymore after this." 
"Jaime? What does he have to do with all of this? Did…did he set you up to do this?" You could hear the betrayal seeping in her voice and you couldn't bear it. If you couldn't have her, at least you could do your best not to have her break up with her boyfriend over a huge mess of a misunderstanding that you did all by yourself. By thinking you had a chance with this goddess.
Better if she hated you instead. Which she would do anyways. If she didn't already.
"No. Nono he's been nothing but friendly. He just dropped by the shop because he was curious about the books you've been reading." 
"Then why did you bring him up?"
"I didn't know, okay? When I asked you to come here, I didn't know."
"What didn't you know?" Oh she wasn't making it easy on you, was she? 
"I thought…I thought you might be interested in me - which I now realize is ridiculous. That's why I asked you out. I asked you and you said yes and you gave me your number and I thought it meant…I swear I didn't know! But then he told me and now I can't help but be awkward because I had thought this was a date and now it's not and I didn't want to ruin it for you which I guess I did anyways. I swear I didn't know when I asked you."
" Know what ? What did Jaime tell you?"
"That he's your…That you're his…That you two are together. Which makes sense, because you are so well assorted and you look perfect for each other and I am sure he can make you happy in ways that–" 
"WHAT?" The roar that came out of Brienne's mouth was almost feral.
"What 'what'?" You babbled back. You looked worriedly at her shaking hands. You knew she was going to be angry at you once she found out about your silly crush. But you still hoped she wouldn't hit you or something. She didn't seem like she'd be the type to take out her anger on you but…but those hands looked like weapons, clenched as they were into tight fists. 
"WHAT DID HE TELL YOU?"
You flinched away. You couldn't help it. The loud angry voice booming next to you, the hand shooting out towards your shoulder…you flinched away, your hands instinctively coming up to shield your face. Trying to make yourself as small as possible. Just as instinctively, apologies started dropping out of your mouth.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!" 
Silence.
Well, not really silence but the soothing pitter-patter of rain on the tin roof above you. 
But no words.
No more loud anger.
And no new pain blooming on your body.
You dared to open your eyes and peer beyond your hands. 
Brienne…well, she was beautiful, as always. But she was also white as a sheet, her deep, blue, stunning eyes wide open and bright with unshed tears. Her whole face a mask of hurt as her gaze took in your shape, as far away from her as the small bench allowed you. Her hand was still in the air, but it had lost all the strength, it was just hanging, palm half-opened towards you as if to show you it was harmless. When she spoke, her voice was little more than a broken whisper.
"I…I wasn't going to hit you."
"I…huh…I'm sorry."
She sighed and straightened in her seat, tearing her eyes away from you to settle them on her hands, now clenched in her lap. Her back was once again ramrod straight. Just as she probably was , your mind cruelly reminded you.
"No. You have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, to make you think that I was…unsafe. I guess that with how I look, it's an easy assumption to make."
"Beautiful."
"I'm sorry?" 
"You said 'with how I look' and that's beautiful. You're beautiful, Brienne. He's a really lucky man."
It wasn't her fault and you knew it. You couldn't blame her for this huge misunderstanding, you couldn't let her think that she or her appearance was to blame for your reactions.
You put your hand on top of hers, trying to get her eyes back on you, to show her how truthful you were. Her hands were so cold. She still didn't look at you.
"He…We huh we're not together together." Her whisper was so soft that you thought you had misheard.
You had to. 
"I'm sorry?"
"Jaime and I are not together." 
"You two…are not?"
"No! I don't know why he would…wait. What did he say? What were his words?"
"Huhhh I don't remember exactly. He said something about you being his partner." You tried to keep the accusation out of your voice. She didn't seem like the type to try to cheat on her partner, denying she was in a relationship at all. Gaslighting you for her own ends. And yet, you didn't dare to hope that…
"Oh for fuck's sake! Is this where all of this came from? He's my work partner . Not my romantic partner!"
"Your… oh . Fuck."
"Yes, fuck. And since we're on the subject, when you asked me, I thought it was going to be a date as well, that's why I gave you my number!! But then we were here and you kept avoiding me and you tensed up every time I touched you and when I tried to kiss you you just ran away and I thought…I don't know what I thought."
"Could you maybe…try that again?"
"Try what?"
"To kiss me. I promise I won't run away this time. Or have a panic attack."
"Just like that? That's not how it's done! The moment must be right and mmmmph–"
You didn't let her finish her sentence. You threw yourself at her, lips on lips, slightly smashing your noses together in your haste. 
But neither of you cared, lips moving against each other, her hand tangling in the hair at the base of your neck, and both of yours coming up to cradle her face. You didn’t care, because unbeknownst to the other, each one of you had dreamed of this moment so many times, and yet now that it was happening it was better than any fantasy. 
Comments are always welcome. If you want to read more of my fanfictions, here's my masterlist.
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bluebeary-jay · 1 year
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Midnight kisses
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Joel Miller x f!Reader
Summary: Jackson celebrates the New Year’s Eve, and you're thinking about finally confessing to your crush how much you like him. but Joel Miller, the object of your affections, might have other plans in mind. (based on this adorable request!!)
Tags: FLUFF my beloved 🥰, Joel is very flirty in this one, lots of crushinggg, just old sweet mutual pining (also they're both lovesick idiots)
Warnings: mentions of alcohol and being drunk, jealousy, age difference
Word count: 5.4K
A/N: i had a lot of fun with this one 🥰 thank you so much once again for the request, dear, i hope you'll like what i came up with. (btw this was supposed to be a short fic but it seems i'm unable to write one 😔) still i hope yall will like it and as always, happy reading!! 💕
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
The party was in a full swing.
You didn’t expect anything else from the Jackson community. Ever since you arrived here, you were astounded by the effort that the people living in this small town were making to create a life as normal and joyous as possible – for their children and themselves. And today, on New Year’s Eve, they outdid themselves. There was food, music and drinks – almost as if the apocalypse outside those walls never happened.
You were sitting by one of the tables, sipping on your beverage while you waited for your friend, Angie, to arrive. Dancing alone didn’t sound like an appealing idea, so while you waited for her, you opted for some people-watching – though if you were honest with yourself, it was more like ‘person-watching’.
Your eyes strayed to a figure on the opposite side of the room for like a twentieth time, but you couldn’t help it even if you wanted to. Because there stood a man who still, even after more than a year of knowing him, made the butterflies in your stomach take flight.
Joel Miller.
He looked really good in a clean flannel and fitting jeans, you conceded. His hair was slightly wet, like he washed it just before coming to the party, and combed a little to the back, making the silver strands in his hair and beard shine in the low lights. You found yourself unable to look away or get rid of that stupid grin on your face that lingered when Joel smiled lopsidedly at something his brother said. The muscles in his arm bulged when he lifted his glass to take a sip, and you watched the lines of his neck when his throat bobbed...
“You’re ogling,” murmured a voice next to your ear, and you jumped a little in surprise. Next to you stood Angie, smirking at you.
“Jesus, Angie.” You put your hand on your chest, your heart pounding rapidly. “A ’hello’ would be nice.”
Your friend knew, of course, about your massive crush on Joel Miller, and you thought more than a year of pining on your part would cause her to grow bored of all the jokes and teasing that she threw your way. Apparently, you were wrong.
“Hello,” she said, then sat down on the other chair and leaned closer to you with a wide smile. “You’re ogling. In a room full of people, may I add.”
“I’m not,” you murmured defensibly, but your face grew warm at the realization that she caught you. “How long have you been standing here, anyway?”
“Like half a minute. By the way, you’re also drooling.”
“I’m not!” you repeated, now in an irritated whisper. You knew you weren’t drooling, but still had to refrain yourself from wiping your mouth, not wanting to give her the satisfaction. “Stop making things up.”
“You should just go talk to him.” Angie casually nodded in Joel’s direction. “He didn’t come with a date, sooo…”
“That doesn’t mean anything. Maybe he’s waiting for someone.”
“Uh, duh!” Angie flicked you on the forehead, and you hissed. “For you to make a move. You can… oh, I know!” she bounced in her seat excitedly and clapped her hands. “Ask him to dance with you!”
You almost snorted. “Joel Miller dancing? Sure. He wouldn’t agree even if he did like me.”
“He does like you. Jesus, you flirt with each other all the time.” The smile disappeared from her lips and she rolled her eyes. “Honestly, you’d have to be blind and deaf not to notice. And maybe dead.”
“There’s no flirting, I told you.” You took a sip of your drink, glancing at the object of your affection. “He talks in this way to everyone.”
“He never called me ‘darling’,” Angie retorted. “Or gave me his jacket when we got caught up in the rain.”
You smiled softly at the memory, but that just made you feel even more hopeless, because since that day, you weren’t able to have a normal conversation with the man you liked so much.
“What do I do?” you whined, leaning on the table. “He’s so beautiful. And he for sure doesn’t see me that way.”
“Are you drunk already? You said you didn’t want a repeat from–”
“–from last year, yeah,” you finished for her and sighed. “I’m not drunk, just feeling down. There’s no way I’ll be able to tell him I like him, Angie.”
“Maybe you won’t have to.” Your friend nudged you gently. “You can just inconspicuously take him under one of the mistletoe and go ‘oh, what’s that?’, and then…”
“What mistletoe?” you asked, only now looking up at the ceiling where familiar-looking leaves were tied with a string to the support beams under the ceiling and above the doors. “Why is there mistletoe hanging?” you asked skeptically. “It’s a New Year’s Eve party.”
“I think they haven’t taken it down since last week.” Angie shrugged, but then grinned at you. “Don’t you think it’s a sign, though? So many places to kiss your crush under~...”
“Jesus, keep your voice down,” you groaned, hiding your face in your hands again. “You’re impossible.”
“You’re impossible,” she mocked in a low voice. “I’m trying to help.”
“I know, babe,” you whined, and sighed heavily again. “You know what, maybe I should just forget it. Let’s go have fun, dance, and later throw up from all the food and…”
Suddenly, Angie interrupted you with a high noise in her throat. You gave her a questioning look and she looked at you with a tight-lipped smile and wide eyes.
“He’s coming here.”
“What?!” You automatically turned around before Angie hissed for you not to look, and sure enough, there was Joel Miller, making his way through the crowd with his eyes locked on you. “Oh my god,” you breathed, clutching at your friend’s hand. “He must’ve seen us talking. What do I do?”
“You sit there and look smoking hot, and let him flirt with you,” she answered with confidence you didn’t feel. “And maybe you won’t even need to ask for the kiss, maybe he’ll do it for–” Her eyes darted above your shoulder. “Oh, hey, Miller.”
You gulped and took a deep breath before turning around and– oh, God, he looked even better up close.
Angie kicked you lightly under the table when you didn’t say anything, and you cleared your throat, smiling up at the man you were so crazy about. “Uhm, hi, Jo– Mr Miller.”
“Didn’t I tell you to call me by my name, sugar?” He had kind of a boyish smile on his face that made him look younger and even more handsome, which in turn made your stomach fill with warmth. He sat down next to you, and his eyes scanned you down and back up, slowly, lingering on your legs and curves just for a second longer. “You look lovely.” He then glanced at Angie, sending her a nod. “Both of you.”
“Really?” you beamed, and Angie kicked your ankle again, making you wince. “Uhm, thanks. You clean up nicely yourself.”
A trace of smirk ran across his face, but it was gone before you could make sure it was really there in the first place.
“Are you enjoyin’ the party?” he asked casually, hiding one hand in the front pocket of his jeans. Your eyes followed his movement before you caught yourself.
“Y-yeah, it’s nice. A little too loud for me, but really nice.”
“Maybe you wanna step outside for a bit, then?” Joel nodded in the direction of the deck in the back, and your heart started beating faster.
Did he want to be alone with you? Or was just being polite and preferred to talk somewhere quieter, and you were getting your hopes up unnecessarily? You hoped it was the first, that he genuinely enjoyed chatting with you as much as you did with him – but you never knew with a man like Joel Miller. He was an enigma, sometimes serious and so stoic that you couldn’t for the world figure out what was going on in his head, and other times charming and teasing, making you weak in the knees when he was looking at you with that fiery glint in his eyes…
“Sugar?” Joel asked, lifting his eyebrows with what seemed to be amusement, and you cursed yourself mentally for spacing out.
“Sorry, I… Yes, let’s– sure, let’s go.”
All of you stood up and you looked over your shoulder at Angie with a panicked face, but instead of reassuring you, she sent you a quick, sly grin.
“You two go ahead,” she chirped. “I’m gonna go look for my date.”
“Angie–” you whispered, giving her a look, but the woman just winked and turned around, disappearing into the crowd of dancing people. “Angie!”
Before you could go after her, you felt a big, warm hand on the small of your back, and your entire body tensed. Joel leaned over to your ear, whispering in a low voice.
“Shall we?”
“Yeah,” you squealed, so quietly he probably didn’t hear it over the loud music. “Sure.”
Your legs moved on their own, going where he guided you. The walk to the terrace in the back lasted no longer than fifteen seconds, but it felt like hours had passed. You were very aware of the light pressure of his fingertips on your back, with only one layer of material separating your skin from his, and the nerves of feeling him so close behind you were making you walk stiffly and oddly – though, miraculously, he didn’t seem to notice.
“I don’t like how loud the music is, either,” Joel said after you two exited the main room, and he closed the door. Then he glanced at you again, his eyes flicking to your bare legs just for a second longer. “Are you cold?”
“No,” you answered truthfully. Not only was it nice to feel the cool air after sitting in a stuffy room with a crowd of people for so long, but also you still felt warm from Joel’s closeness. “I’m alright.” Joel nodded absentmindedly, and you squinted. “Did you want to talk about something or…”
“Nah, just wanted to escape for a minute.” He rubbed his beard and shrugged, but there was tightness to his body language. “Not much to do in there except for drinkin’.”
“And dancing,” you cut in.
Joel glanced at you, and the lazy smirk returned onto his features.
“You like to dance, sweet girl?” he asked, and you felt your face growing hot when you heard his tone. Low, drawling and oh, so delicious.
“If the party is good, yes, I guess so.” Then you remembered what Angie suggested earlier, and you took a shaky breath, mustering all the courage you had in you. “We… if you want, we could dance a little later, if they play something nice…?”
But the hot nerves in your chest turned to cold disappointment when Joel started to shake his head with a chuckle. “Nah, darlin’. Sorry, I don’t… I’m no dancer.”
“Noone here is,” you retorted, a bit hurt by how quick his rejection was. “It’s just for fun.”
“I know better ways to have fun than t’make an idiot of myself in front of bunch of people.”
“Like what?”
Of course, you just had to ask.
Joel smirked, as if he was just waiting for it, and took a step forward, forcing you to take one backwards. His brown eyes bored into yours, making you weak in your knees, and you promptly turned your gaze away, not able to withstand the tension in the air. With a cough, you walked up to the wooden railing, pretending that you weren’t feeling sheepish at all.
“For one, talkin’ here with you is fun enough for me.”
You forced yourself to look at Joel when you heard it, just to see if he’s joking, but the man appeared genuine. He leaned against the rails, his hand right next to your shoulder, and you couldn’t get rid of the thought of how easy it’d be for him to cage you in this spot with his strong arms, how he’d make your entire body tremble…
But you weren’t quite sure yet if he was being sweet or just tried to mess with you, so you decided that a teasing response would be the best course of action.
“I don’t know.” You shrugged lightly. “I’d still like to find someone to dance with tonight.”
At that, Joel’s hand gripped the railing tighter and his body stiffened. You had to hide a triumphant smirk on your face, pleased that you managed to throw him off his game – whatever it was that he was playing.
“One of your friends?” In your peripheral vision you saw him lifting his eyebrows with the faintest of scowls. “Or one of those shady guys sittin’ at the bar, staring at pretty girls like you? ’Cause they’re no good for you, darlin’.”
“Oh, really?” you scoffed and lifted your chin, feeling touched that Joel was acting so protective – (and maybe even… jealous?) – about what you said. “You were the one that didn’t want to dance. What do you know about what’s good for me, anyway?”
“Those guys won’t treat you right. They just want a girl to spend the night with, and you deserve better than that.”
He was right, of course, but it didn’t mean you were going to openly give him his due. You made an acknowledging noise, not really sure what to say, but Joel didn’t seem to mind. He continued in a quiet, raspy voice that sent shivers down your spine. “You deserve someone who’d take real good care of you, darlin’. Not some drunk out of their ass idiot.”
“Are you drunk, Mr Miller?” you asked, not looking at him in fear he’ll see how red his words made you, though you could still see his smirk in the corner of your eye.
“No.”
“You act like you are.”
“C’mon, sugar, look at me.” He took your chin between his fingers and your body went rigid. His warm gaze met yours for just a second, and he tilted his head forward a little. “Do I look drunk?”
“A little.” You turned your head away, but he tsked and guided your chin back.
“In the eyes, darlin’.” You gulped at his words, and his dark, brown irises twinkled in the fairy lights dangling from the roof and walls. “And call me Joel, please.”
His chest was almost touching yours, and you felt the wooden railing digging into your lower back, but at that moment you didn’t mind at all. Joel was so close, and your breath hitched in your throat when you got enveloped in his earthy smell, with a tinge of bonfire and… was that cologne? For some reason the discovery that he used cologne for tonight made your heart flutter.
But as much as you loved every second of being so close to him, you remembered that you weren’t alone on the terrace. There was a pair of people talking – well, now kissing, judging by the sound of it – and your eyes darted to the side to see if they were looking at you both. “Come on, there are people here. It’s not…”
The man clicked his tongue in disapproval and moved slightly closer, now practically pinning you against the railing with his body, and you squealed unwillingly when he, once again, made you look at him.
“Eyes on me.”
And God, if it wasn’t the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen or heard. It was unfair how much power his gaze and tone wielded over you.
“Okay,” you managed to whimper, and the corner of his mouth curled upwards, creating that adorable dimple in his cheek.
“And my name, sugar.”
You didn't know why you were complying so easily, but something about the softness and tenderness in his voice made you feel safe. He wouldn’t hurt you, of that you were absolutely sure.
“Okay, Joel.”
His thumb brushed the edge of your bottom lip with the softest of touches, making your legs almost turn to jelly. It made you want to say his name again, though in a much more needy tone.
“That’s a good girl,” Joel murmured with a smirk, never looking away.
Lord, have mercy.
You were so grateful for the wooden rails behind your back, because you were sure you’d collapse any second now if he kept looking at you like that.
“I… Joel…”
“Tell me if you’re uncomfortable,” he murmured without taking his eyes off of you for even a second. Your brain was mush at this point, but even if you could formulate any words, you doubt you’d ask him to step away. So you settled on shaking your head slightly, to which Joel nodded. “Lemme know immediately if it changes, darlin’.”
How could you be so blind? All you could think about was that Angie was right – there was no way Joel Miller wasn’t flirting with you. Maybe he even liked you. Maybe – just maybe – he wanted to kiss you just as much as you wanted to kiss him.
“Didn’t you wanna… get back to the party?”
You didn’t make any move to get away yourself, however, not wanting him to drop the arm with which he was holding your chin. The material of his shirt was bulging over the lines of his biceps, and it felt really nice to stand so close to him.
“I’m in no rush.” Joel’s voice dipped, and your insides tightened. “You?”
“No, but–”
“Here you are, you ol’ fucker!”
Joel took a step back, and you both turned to see his younger brother walking clumsily through the door with a big, drunken grin on his face. You cleared your throat, still breathless and blushed, but both Millers didn’t pay you any mind anymore.
“Tommy.” Joel’s face was like made out of stone, but his eyes were betraying how irritated he was with the interruption.
“You thought you’d manage to get away, ya old dog?” Tommy hooked an arm around his older brother’s shoulders and finally looked at you to send you a wink. “Sorry, sweetheart, gotta borrow ‘im for a second. He has a date to get to.”
It took you a couple of seconds to register that yes, you heard him right. A heavy veil of hurt and disbelief slowly fell down on you, and your eyes started to prickle as you looked from Tommy to Joel.
“A date?”
He had a date. Why then did he talk and act this way with you, making you feel like you ever had a chance with him?
“C’mon, don’t keep a lady waiting,” Tommy said to Joel instead of answering you, and tugged the other man back inside, but Joel didn’t move. “Who knows, maybe you’ll even get lucky tonight!”
That you couldn’t listen to.
Trying to hide how painful his words were to you, you ducked your head and tried to slip past the brothers, desperate to get out of here. A hand – which felt so achingly familiar now – shot out and grabbed your elbow before you could escape. You lifted your tearful eyes only to meet Joel’s sorrowful ones.
“Darlin’, wait. It’s not…”
“No, it’s okay,” you interrupted him, tearing your gaze away. “I wanted to go to the bathroom, anyway.”
Joel looked like he wanted to say something else, but you couldn’t bear being in his and Tommy’s presence any longer. You slipped out of his grasp, quickly coming back inside and navigating your way to the bathrooms.
He had a date for tonight. And still he flirted with you and touched you so lovingly, and… and almost…
Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid! To think you ever had a chance.
You dashed into the bathroom and quickly opened the first free stall you saw, then shut it behind you. There you just slumped against the wall and wrapped your arms around yourself, giving in to the flow of your tears, but trying not to make a sound.
You felt so foolish for letting yourself fall under Joel Miller’s spell, for ignoring that he obviously couldn’t be interested in someone like you.
He probably saw you as a dumb child. No wonder he’d prefer someone else, probably a woman closer to his own age.
But why did he have to be so cruel, to lead you on and hint that…
No, you realized. It was your own damn fault for letting your heart justify his every action towards you.
Almost ten minutes must’ve passed before you got a grip on yourself and decided to go find Angie. You needed to talk to someone, preferably distract yourself from the unpleasant situation you had to experience, and maybe try to salvage the evening somehow. With that in mind you took a couple of breaths, wiped your eyes and then hesitantly exited the bathroom.
You only managed to take a couple of steps, however, before your eyes were drawn to a familiar and beautiful side profile. You wished you didn’t know his face so well, because then you wouldn’t see Joel whispering something to a stunning woman you didn’t know at the far end of the room. She was hanging off his arm, bright eyes and a million-dollars smile directed solely at him. Joel appeared to be looking around, but a few seconds later he put his hand on the small of the woman’s back – just as he did earlier with you – and started walking. Neither of them looked your way before exiting through the front door and leaving the party.
As well as a gaping hole in your heart.
*****
A few minutes later you managed to find Angie. You were a mess at this point, barely able to stop yourself from sobbing. It was truly pathetic.
“I don’t know her name. But I saw them leaving, and she was hanging off his arm and–” you choked on your words and gave a humorless laugh. “God, I’m such an idiot.”
“I’m so sorry, hon.” Angie looked at you sadly. “We can ditch the party if you want. Go to my place and watch some movies,” she suggested gently, but you were already shaking your head.
“No, no. I’m fine, really, I… I think I'll just go home. But you should stay with your girlfriend.” Angie looked like she was about to protest, but you squeezed her hand reassuringly. “I promise I’m okay. I’m just gonna go straight back home and lock myself inside with a bowl of ice-cream. Or go to sleep.”
“I don’t think you should be alone right now.”
“I… I think I need to.” You gave her a weak, sad smile, and stood up. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? You have fun, I don’t want to ruin your night, too.”
“You’re not ruining anythi–”
“I mean… this. All of this stuff with,” you swallowed heavily, “him.”
Angie still seemed unconvinced, but finally nodded after a while. “Alright. But come and get me if you feel worse.”
“I promise. Love you.”
“Love you, too. Take care of yourself, okay?”
You nodded, then went towards the side exit and out into the snowy night without looking back. You didn’t want to stay here and watch as all those happy couples share sweet kisses at midnight, thus reminding you of your heartbreak.
This time you had your coat on, but it was far too thin for this kind of weather. You wrapped it tighter around yourself and hid your hands in the pockets, starting to make your way home. It was a bit far from the main square, but you needed to get away from the music and laughter of the partygoers as quickly as possible.
Alas, you only managed to walk one street away when out of nowhere, a big hand grabbed your elbow, stopping you in your tracks. “Wait.”
You turned around and took a step backwards at the same time, freeing your arm with a strong tug. The words full of anger were ready to spill out of your mouth, but that was until you saw who stood in front of you with a painful expression.
The last person you expected to see here.
“Joel?” You whispered surprisedly and looked around, but there was no one else nearby. Not that strange woman you saw him with, at least. “What are you doing here?”
“I was lookin’ for you,” he rasped between gasps, like he ran all the way here. “You weren’t at the party.”
“Why were you… What are you doing here?” you repeated more coldly, the sight of him only making your fresh heartache so much more noticeable. “I thought you left.”
“M’so sorry.” Joel’s beautiful dark eyes were full of sadness and weariness. “I would have never left you if I could help it, darlin’.”
He took half a step forward and lifted his hand slightly to graze yours with his icy-cold fingertips. You weren’t wearing any gloves either, so his touch sent a jolt up your arm. You looked down at it, but gently moved your hand away. “I don’t understand. Didn’t you have a… date?”
“No.” He sighed and rubbed his eyes, shaking his head. You avoided his eyes and instead watched as snowflakes landed and melted in his hair. “No, it was Tommy… You saw how drunk he was, and he wanted to set me up, insisted on talking to that girl, but I…”
“You should get back to her, then,” you said dryly, really not having strength to even hide how hurtful his mere presence was. You went past him, hiding your neck in your coat. “I don’t want to keep you from–”
“Darlin’, wait.” Joel grabbed your arm again, though still gently and without any force. “Listen, she was nice, but I told her that I can’t get involved in anythin’, because I…” He faltered slightly when you looked him in the eyes, for the first time since your talk on the terrace. “There is… it’s– fuck.” He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, as if gathering courage. “There is someone else,” he finally spoke, his voice almost trembling, and looked at you again, “that I’m madly in love with. And it’s you.”
Through the open door to the party someone shouted what sounded like the time, but it was all happening in the background of your mind. All you could focus on was Joel, standing so close to you and looking almost scared as he waited for your reaction.
Cold crept up your limbs and up to your cheeks while you tried to digest what the hell you just heard, but as if held by the invisible force of his gaze, you couldn’t move an inch.
“...what?”
“I… really, really like you,” Joel whispered, his dark and sad eyes drilling into your unbelieving ones. “I went to this party just to see you, darlin’. And I’d never chose to spend the evenin’ with anyone else but you. I’m so sorry I left you like that and…”
He then gulped and very slowly lifted his hand to your face, not fully cupping your cheek but hovering just above it. He searched your eyes, but when you didn’t back away, he touched your skin carefully, and an involuntary sigh escaped you as your eyes fluttered closed.
You never thought one could be touched with such care and fondness. No one has ever treated you like that before, like you were made of the most precious glass.
“You can tell me to fuck off,” Joel whispered, and you opened your eyes to find his face a little closer than before. “I just thought that maybe… if you would maybe, too…”
He was getting flustered again, and it was the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen. It must’ve been close to midnight now, because you noticed that the music stopped and the racket inside the building was at its peak, though it was hard to distinguish the words people were shouting when your heartbeat was almost deafening in your ears.
“But I saw you leaving with that woman.” You had to make sure you were on the same page with him before you did something idiotic. Again. “You aren’t…?”
“No,” Joel breathed a quiet chuckle and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, while his eyes danced across your face. “It’s only ever been you, darlin’.”
Then he must’ve heard something – his head turned to the side to look at where the party was still going on, before his eyes returned to you, and you felt his thumb swiping your cheek in an oh, so tender manner.
“May I?” he asked in a whisper, so close that his breath skimmed your parted lips. You hoped he was asking about what you thought, but this time wasn’t brave enough to ask and clarify.
So you just nodded.
And Joel leaned in, without any hurry, and kissed you.
It was fitting, you supposed, that only a couple of seconds later the clock chimed midnight, and shrieks of laughter and cheers filled the air while the people still present at the party celebrated loudly. You couldn’t care less, however, because in that moment, your entire world was Joel. His – still cold – hand caressed your scorching cheek, and the other found its place on your hip. The smell of him, the warmth with which his body radiated, and the feeling of his lips, rougher in touch than you’ve imagined, but still soft in movement – all of it together was almost overwhelming.
You parted after a while with blissful sighs, though didn’t move away – Joel still held you close, his forehead pressed to yours, and eyes shut tightly, as if he was in pain. He took a trembling breath when you touched his jaw with your icy fingers.
“Tell me to stop,” he pleaded in a murmur, taking you aback. “Sugar, if you don’t… Please, tell me to stop.”
You shook your head and held onto him tighter before he even finished.
“Please, don’t stop.”
Your lips clashed again, tongues meeting and dancing together, and it was the closest you’ve ever felt to any type of heaven in this cruel, forsaken world. Joel pulled you flush against him and kissed you again, more forcefully this time, tangling his fingers in your hair. You let out an involuntary moan, but his mouth swallowed the sound immediately, not giving you a split second of respite.
“I wanted to do it a year ago,” Joel muttered between the kisses, before he took your face in his hands to look you in the eyes properly. He smiled, that same adorable and boyish smile, when he saw how breathless and flushed you were. “Wanted to kiss you so much, sugar, but,” he obviously fought back a laugh at this point, his eyes crinkling, “you got wasted and puked your guts out just before midnight.”
“Oh my god.” You didn’t know he saw it, particularly the moment when all the alcohol you consumed a year ago refused to stay in your stomach. “I wasn’t– I don’t usually… I got drunk ‘cause I saw Sheryll kissing you on the cheek,” you admitted with embarrassment, feeling your skin growing even hotter. “I thought you and her were together at that point…”
“But why did you get drunk because of it, sweet girl?” Joel mused, brushing his nose against yours and obviously teasing you. You snorted and shook your head.
“You know why.”
“I want to hear it from you.”
You playfully pushed him away lightly, but he tightened his grip around you, not letting you step away.
“You’re an asshole sometimes,” you whispered, making Joel chuckle. “Fine. I really wanted to kiss you, too. Happy?”
He smiled and kissed you again, softly and passionately this time, cradling your cheek in his palm.
“Very,” he whispered against your lips and dragged his nose up to plant a kiss on your forehead. “Very much, baby.”
Your heart fluttered with joy at his affectionate tone. Joel pulled away, his hands leaving your body to cover your own, situated on his jaw and arm.
“Now, what do you say we head back inside?” he asked with a disarming smile, brushing your knuckles with his thumbs. “And maybe you’ll let me ask you for a dance?”
You didn’t give an answer, but the joyous kiss you pressed to his lips – which, with your enthusiasm, almost made both of you topple over into the snow – spoke for itself.
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