#besides from watching freaking movies and shows and reading stuff. and now that im off my freaking meds i dont even

[doebt]

ik why i stay up so late like this man its bc i just want to feel something SO bad. so i will stay up reading or whatever except its not even really reading its just skimming random stuff on ao3 to see if anything hits me in my feelings hard enough for it to matter. and it turns into this thing of me looking up progressively more messed up stuff until i can find something dark enough to make me feel anyhting and even THEN theres usually like nothing. and if i DO find something that makes me feel something then i get so worked up about it i have to keep looking for more bc im like addicted to feeling emotions

[rommahh]

Love On Tour…Actually

{Im sorry for how late this was. I went to the show Friday and honestly, it was the best day of my life. I had a little PCD which made me super unmotivated but I’m back. I love you all, R}

You woke up a little grumpy, you won’t lie. You didn’t like waking up alone especially on a show day. It made you uncomfortable to be left to your own devices without any structure or schedule. You understood that Harry was a busy man but it would’ve been nice to receive some text so you could plan your day accordingly.

Sitting on the couch in the lounge of your hotel room, you chowed down on leftover pasta while watching Netflix on your iPad. You had yet to receive a text from Harry even though you had texted him hours ago when you woke up. It was hard to tell if he was ignoring you out of anger or if he was simply just lost in track. Either way you felt dejected.

On the other hand, Harry hadn’t even noticed that he iced you. He was busy running around Nashville trying to get things ready for tonight’s show. He bought you a new dress and shoes, and got the ring fitted. It was hard to figure out your ring size but he end up measuring your finger when you were passed out asleep in bed last night. When you slept, you slept and he knew that would be the perfect time to measure your finger.

Harry was so busy that morning, that by the end of his errands he realized he didn’t even have time to go back to the hotel before rehearsals. He was sporting a small cough and his vocal chords felt overworked but that’s all apart of tour.

Pulling his phone out of his back pocket as he walked into the arena, he dialed your number quickly. He had people trying to talk to him but he paid them no mind.

“Oh? Would you look who’s here?” Harry’s head shot up to the sound of your voice. There you sat on his dressing room couch, arms crossed over one another as you glared at him. Your gaze burned through him and he could just tell he was in trouble.

“Hello lovie.” Harry rasped.

“Harry you sound like shit but here you are up and about running around. You should’ve slept in this morning.” Scolding as you stand up to walk in front of him. Harry could feel the anger radiate off of you but you hid it well. He melted into your hands that cupped his warm cheeks.

“I had a lot of errands to run and I didn’t want to wake you. Also it’s just a sore throat from singing and traveling- comes with being on tour.” He mumbles dropping his head into your neck. You caress the hairs on the back on his neck and massage the tense muscles.

“You’ve got to think about yourself more, Harry. You have a show to put on but you can’t put on your best show if you’re not at your best. I am not happy with you at all.” Even though your words were scolding him, you held him your arms in the most soothing way. That’s what Harry loved about you, you cared for him like no one else could (aside from his mom). You could tell him off with your harshest words but he’d always feel your love from miles away.

“You’re right love, sorry for not keeping in touch today.” You hum in acknowledgement. You both pulled away from each other when his driver walked in with Harry’s abundance of bags. “Thank you, sir.”

“What all did you buy?” You ask walking towards the bags. Harry’s arm shot out in front of you making you stop. You looked up at him in shock. “Fine be secretive.”

You huffed before making your way back to the couch. Harry rolled his eyes at you, making way to his shopping bags. Plucking the bag from Nordstrom he plopped it down on the table in front of you.

“I just didn’t want you snooping at some other stuff. I bought you this, for tonight.” He sat down beside you, thighs touching leaving no room between you two.

“Im not trying to be mean. Just a little peeved that you left this morning without telling me. You also have a cold and I wanna take care of you since you won’t do it.” A hand rubs his forehead luring his eyes shut.

“Sorry baby, I thank you for caring so much.” He whispers sleepily.

“Im always gonna care for my bubs.” Kissing him on the lips, your turn your attention to the bag. The small grey bag had light tissue paper covering the product within the bag. The tissue falls to the floor as you dig into the bag. A silky champagne dress, folded neatly to decrease wrinkles, sits in the bag. The dress was soft and you knew it was loose enough to give you the room to dance. Soft snores escaped the boy beside you- the exhaustion evident on his face.

You pull the dress out of the bag and walk over to where his outfit of the night hung. The dress was hung beside his to be steamed for later. Turning around, you smile at the sight of your curled up boyfriend. Your heart hurt knowing that in a few minutes he would have to go rehearse.

Harry sleepily went through rehearsals sitting in a chair the whole time. He knew his stage cues and performance, he only had one more thing to rehearse but it required for you to not be in the room. He gave one look to Jeff to signal him to get you out. Jeff made up some excuse saying that he needed help with some social media post for the show.

Before the show, there was a catered dinner from some local restaurant. Harry ate a light meal of fresh vegetables and a sweet iced tea which has grown on him having lived in the states for some years. You ate grilled chicken and fries enjoying the free food. The two of you ate alone in his dressing room- wanting a moment of piece before the crazy.

“How are you feeling?” You ask Harry. He shrugs, he was more nervous than anything but you wouldn’t understand why if he had told that to you. He felt floaty. Tonight would be a game changer, a step in a whole new direction. This is something he’s wanted to do for years now but it’s finally happening, and he’s scared.

"Im ok, a little tired but what else is new. I can't wait to sleep all night and cuddle with you." He grabs your hand from across the table. you squeeze it, frowning at his revelation.

"I don't like that you're so tired." You worry, his hand squeezes yours in reassurance.

“Im ok, it’s all apart if the job.” He looks down to your bare ring finger, thumb brushing over the empty spot. Your nails were done in your favorite way, some funky pattern you found from Pinterest all painted on short coffin nails.

“I love you Harry and I’m so proud of you. I know that these years put us both in a bad place mentally but I’m happy of where we are now.” Harry could almost tear up to your words. They settled into his mind, resonating. He was making the perfect decision and you solidified that ideal.

2014

Harry didn’t know how they did it. A show every night, a new state everyday, a new country every few months- he was burnt out. He was tired of shared tour buses and the lack of autonomy. Last nights LA show was amazing, the crowd was amazing, the energy was amazing- so why did he feel so horrid?

He walked around in The Grove, security guards walking in front and behind him. He wanted a peaceful day alone but here they were. Fans watched suspiciously trying to decipher if it was Harry or not. His hat and sunglasses were obviously not the disguise he thought they would be.

As the whispers got louder, his heart started to flurry more. Panic seeped into his veins as he looked for an escape. Bolting in the Barnes and Nobles- security guards close behind- Harry asked for the employees to close shop just for a moment. Harry only needed a moment to get a car near by to escape to. Feeling overwhelmed, Harry hid.

In between the historical fiction and romance aisle is where he sat. Head between his knees, trying to catch his breathe.

“Are you ok?” A voice asked from above him. His head whipped up in shock. Standing there was you, three books clutched between your arms. Adjusting your dress you dropped down to the floor in front of him.

“I-im fine, tired but fine.” He replied. He looked different than he did the night before, you thought. Last night, he was energetic and full of life and now, now you saw a boy whose exhaustion overpowered him.

“You here for any books?” You were just trying to change the subject, something you did with yourself when you had panic attacks.

“Oh no, I don’t-“ he stuttered shaking his head. You smiled at him before pulling a book from your stack. The fault In Our Stars, your new favorite.

“I love this book, one of my favorites. Heard a movie is coming out too so that’s fun.” You joke. Harry’s relaxed slightly, you nestled closer to him. Opening the book, you began reading, your gentle voice calming Harry.

At the start of chapter four, an interruption pulled you both away. Harry’s security guard told Harry that a car was waiting and the perimeter of the store was clear. Harry nodded telling the guard to give him five more minutes.

“I guess this is it.” You mumble closing your book. Harry nods but makes no move to leave. Something clicks in him as he looks at your face again.

“You were at the concert last night, meet and greet?” He muses.

“Yeah, One Direction is my favorite band. My friend bought our vip tickets for my birthday. Best night ever.” You say quietly, scared that he might think that you’re some obsessed fan.

“Oh, well I’m glad you enjoyed the show….so why didn’t you freak out today or- or expose where I was?”

“You’re a human being, just like me. You get nervous, frustrated, and sad just like me. You get panic attacks just like. Who am I to treat you differently?” Your words did so much for Harry. “Now don’t get me wrong, you’re my favorite in the band, but I don’t idolize you nor do I wish to be in your position cause I know it must be hard.”

“It is. Hard, I mean, really really hard. I love my job but I’m tired.” The silence you two shared burned a connection between you two. “This may be weird but could I have your number? I like talking to you and I wanna hear more of this book.”

Placing your hand made bookmark in the book, you closed in and gently placed it on Harry’s lap. “Have it. I have one at home and if you still want to talk about it- I’ll give you my number.”

Harry stills as the book sits in his lap. “I want to talk to you about the book.”

After exchanging numbers, Harry was urged by you to go. Walking side by side to the door, you were separated by his security.

“Harry, don’t let this keep hurting you. Find the joy and grasp on to it.”

You turned out to be his joy. Calls every night after shows and different books being read together, you both gravitated towards each other. Everyday was a new day to grow closer together. He invited you to more concerts, paying for every ticket because he just needed to be with you.

The show was going beautifully. Harry looked amazing in stage in all white and most fans were captivated by your outfit too. It worried you to see Harry so exhausted on stage but you knew he would stick it through like he always does. Proud was an understatement in your eyes. Harry made you more than proud.

You stood in the back of the watermelon pit at the end of the aisle where his stage stopped a few feet away. Jeff stood beside you like he normally did but he was acting suspicious. You two never stood on the side of Harry’s exit but this is where Jeff said you’d get the best view tonight.

Harry sang his final ‘we’ll be alright’ before doing his stage stroll and bows, but instead of finishing in the middle of the stage- he went down stage to the place he normally exits to at the end of the night. You watched in confusion, along with the crowd, as he walked down the steps to you. The crowd erupted in screams as the lights focused on where you were standing.

“What are you doing?” You asked with large eyes of shock. You felt your heart stop in your chest. The crowd getting louder by the moment. Harry walked closer to you, one hand digging into his pocket while his eyes focused on your face. You couldn’t place what was happening but you’re eyes welled with even more tears nonetheless. Jeff was to the side with a huge smile and his phone out to capture the moment.

“Y/N, my love, my light, the best thing that has happened to me,” he didn’t have his mic on so the crowd couldn’t hear him but you could hear him perfectly. As if you two were the only ones in the large arena, you could only see Harry. “From the moment I met you in the bookstore, I knew you were meant to be in my life. Somehow you took me from my darkest place and guided me to my lightest.

I know our lives have been hard but we’ve always found a way to be alright. I want that for the rest of my life. I want you to be by my side for the rest of my life, so will you please, my love, marry me?”

You gave him no time to answer as you yanked him up by his arm. You wept as you exclaimed loud yeses, yeses that could be heard by a few fans who screamed in excitement igniting the rest of the crowd to scream. Harry picked you up in his arms, throwing one arm out to wave at the crowd before bounding backstage.

“Oh my god Harry!” You exclaimed as he set you down. He only had a few minutes to talk so you kept it quick. You pulled his face down to your kissing his lips. This kiss pulled you both deeper into each other.

He pulled away making you whine. “I gotta go back but I promise you’ll get it all tonight. I can’t believe you said yes. I love you so much.”

Harry’s energy multiplied by 100 going back on stage. He even went as far as to explain what watermelon sugar was about. Remembering when the song was made, it made your legs clench together- a pulse overwhelming your lower regions.

Looking down at your hand, you could feel yourself tear up again at the ring he bought you. It fit perfectly in your hand, you remember him measuring your hand that night even though he thought you were asleep. The thought of your future made your heart swell. A future with new music, a wedding, a nice house, and babies made your heart swell. This was something you couldn’t wait for.

Harry found his joy in you but he never knew about the joy he was to your dark life.

[meat--grindr]

another trans man fixated on Martin here!! 💕

could i request some NSFW of an ftm S/O teasing Martin while hes on the phone trying to do another interview as The Count? not a lot of talking from the S/O while hes on the phone, mostly physical stuff & feeling him up thru his clothes. the rest is up to you >:)))

(def going to use as a drawing prompt im just so so embarrassed to request off anon 😔😔😔)

Alright, so, this prompt has been living in my head rent-free ever since I first read it and I am so freaking excited to finally get to it. I’m sorry it took so long. I will admit this was a bit of a challenge for me because I am notoriously bad at writing dialogue. But I feel like it was good practice. Sorry if it sounds a little stilted in spots, I’m still learning.

Please, please, please link me to that art if you ever get around to it! You knocked it out of the park with this prompt and I’d love to give the art some love if you’re comfortable with sharing!

The Count Didn’t Count on This – Martin Mathias (Trans-Masculine Reader) – NSFW.

·       It’s late, and for once, you’re exactly where you feel you should be at this late hour—not sprawled across a chair reading, or gazing out of the window, watching the cars pass and counting the neighbours’ lights as they flick on and off in lieu of stargazing. And for the first time in at least a week, you’re not trapped at your desk, frantically typing the final draft of a paper, hindered by the slow keys of a typewriter that does not care a whit about the deadline steadily hurtling toward you. No, thankfully, this night has brought with it far more comfortable circumstances—you find yourself in bed, tired bones sinking into the plush mattress, consciousness caught in the bleary space between sleep and not.

·       Even better, you aren’t alone.

·       Tonight, your bed is warmed by another body, long and thin, curled tightly against your own, as though it were some sort of crime to leave even an inch of space between you. A bony hip digs into your thigh and you’re sure the press of your head and shoulder against his chest must make breathing difficult for him. But he’s made no attempt to shrug you off or shift your weight to a more comfortable spot, so you likewise let it be. In all honesty, you’re simply too comfortable to bother and you feel it’s safe to assume the same is true for Martin too.

·       The slow, even beat of his heart pulses against your cheek, and his long fingers stroke absently over your bare shoulder. The rough texture of burgeoning callouses catches against your skin—the sensation, though not wholly unpleasant, makes you shudder. Sometimes, you forget Martin works with his hands. When you hold them, they seem so delicate—his long fingers better suited to playing the piano than tightening screws or hammering nails. But he’s good at repairs and more importantly, he seems to find enjoyment the work. It certainly keeps him busy enough on the few afternoons that Cuda isn’t running him ragged in the shop, much to your personal dismay. But his nights—the nights like this—belong to you and you alone.

·       Your eyelids flutter closed, and for the first time in what feels like weeks, maybe even longer, you feel like you can rest. Really rest. Dimly, you find yourself wondering if it had more to do with finished papers and diminished responsibilities, or the reintroduction of the physical intimacy you’ve been missing so dearly. Though you can’t say for certain, you have a sneaking suspicion it’s the latter.

·       The longer you know Martin, the more you’re convinced that there is a preternatural bubble of calm that hangs around him. You can feel it in the way even the grouchiest old women in the store seem to soften toward him—hiding small smiles behind their sleeves, sometimes even calling him ‘dear,’ or in the way Cuda’s volatile temper deflates when his cruel words slide off Martin’s back as though he’s heard it all before from people who frightened him far greater. You’ve seen it at work on the feral cats that roam the neighbourhood—while they hiss and swipe at the children who chase them through the dusty streets, they sit willingly at Martin’s feet, rubbing against his legs with a familiarity that borders on friendly. And it’s in the way he looks at you—looks into you with those dark eyes that seem far too old for that handsome, youthful face—intense and all-seeing, but never judgemental. He is a point of unflappable calm in a world which never seems to slow for even a second. That calm has settled into you now, seeping into your bones as you lay there, listening to his heart thumping in the darkness.

·       The low crackle of the radio hovers at the edge of your hearing, a burst of static cutting through the droning voices. You’d stopped listening properly ages ago—the third time the DJ had made an attempt to dismiss his latest caller. It was an old man who was seven shades of pissed about the ‘teen-age hooligans’ who were ‘tipping over his bins every night and eating his trash.’ Of course, everyone with half a brain, including the host himself, knows it’s an animal—probably a raccoon, or a family of raccoons, but this old geezer has somehow convinced himself it’s a gaggle of ‘Satan-worshipping teenagers who have been brainwashed by heavy metal music and Pepsi Cola.’

·       Okay. Sure.

·       It’s utterly ridiculous, and just the sort of thing you’ve come to expect from the people who live in Braddock. Or the ones who call in to a show like this anyhow.

·       In a way, you feel bad for the poor DJ. Sure, he welcomes strange callers of all kinds, from alien abductees and bigfoot hunters to bereaved parents who teenagers are ‘just growing up too fast,’ or ‘a little too interested in the works of William Shakespeare.’ He even encourages them at times, but you’ve got to draw the line somewhere, and in your mind, this, funny as it may be, is probably it. You’re sure whatever the station is paying the guy, it isn’t enough to suffer through being called a ‘brainless sack of human garbage’ by a crazy old man.

·       “And that’s about all the time we have,” Despite his cheery tone, the poor guy sounds exhausted. “Thank you for calling!”

·       Another burst of static drowns out the old man’s reply, but you’re sure that whatever he’d said, it was not ‘radio-friendly.’

·       “…our next caller. You are on the air, Sir!”

·       “Yeah, uh…hi, Barry.” The man sounds young—probably not much older than yourself—and very nervous. He must be a first-time caller. As he and the DJ share opening pleasantries—what’s your name, how old are you, where are you calling in from tonight, is that a cat I hear in the background? —your attention begins to drift again. You teeter for a moment on the edge of sleep, the clean scent of your linen sheets and Martin’s shampoo filling your nose.

·       “I was just wondering if you’ve heard from the Count again since last time?”

·       And just like that, you’re awake again, attention fully focused on your radio and the funny little show that whispers through it.

·       The caller is asking about Martin. A cold shiver rumbles through your body. People ask about Martin on the show all the time—of course, they don’t know that’s who they’re asking about, but you do. It’s so strange, to hear a stranger talk about someone you know so well—even worse when they speak about him like they know him too. Sometimes, they make you laugh with their outlandish theories, but sometimes they make you sick—sick with worry: when he’s threatened with violence or exposure, sick with fear: when they make guesses that hit a little too close to home, and sick with jealousy: when they claim to have had an ‘encounter’ with him, or worse, try to set one up on air.

·       You know about Martin, of course—that he is a vampire, or at least he thinks he’s a vampire. Whether or not you believe him is another question entirely. He certainly does not abide by the ‘vampire rules’ as you know them from stories and television—he doesn’t sleep in a coffin, filled with dirt from his homeland or otherwise, rather he sleeps in a bed (curled up beside you more often than not these days). He cuts a handsome figure in mirrors and the photographs that you have pinned up above your desk. He walks about in the sun most days without complaint despite his pale complexion, and though he may not be a sleek. Predatory creature that oozes confidence, grace, and sex appeal, he’s no slouch either—lithe and handsome in a boyish sort of way, all knees, elbows, and wide dark eyes.

·       In fact, the only requirement he seems to meet on the proverbial ‘vampire checklist’ is his fixation with blood—and the need to consume it. Maybe that means something, maybe it doesn’t. You’ve come to the conclusion that what you think really doesn’t matter in the end—your opinion isn’t going to sway him on the subject one way or another. This is a truth about himself he believes perhaps more deeply than anything else. Who were you to try and change that?

·       So, you do your best to take everything in stride, and when you can’t, you humour him. Still, every once in a while, something will trip you up—you still can’t quite decide if he’s joking about being over eighty years old or not. But you do your best. You had even let him feed on you once. Though only once. In the end, it was Martin who had decided the experience was not one he would like to repeat.

·       He had laid you out on your bed, “I don’t want you to get hurt if you faint.” Though you’d told him nearly a hundred times that you’d be just fine, that you’d had blood taken before at the hospital, he had insisted.

·       You had expected things to be different. For a start, you had expected him to climb into your lap, to press his lips against your neck, seeking your pulse the way it’s done in the movies. Instead, he’d taken out a little white kit from his bag. He had unzipped it and laid it out on the bed, revealing a little bottle of clear liquid, a row of sterile, hypodermic needles, and a pack of fresh razor blades.

·       His long fingers fell upon the needles, caressing them lovingly one by one. Much to your relief, he did not pick one up. As if he could sense your apprehension, he’d said, “Don’t worry, I won’t need these.” He’d glanced up at you, measuring your reaction, “I won’t need them because you’re not going to fight me. Are you?” It wasn’t really a question. You shook your head, and the corners of his lips quirked up into a smile, “Good. It’s so much easier when they don’t fight me.” Those words had made you shudder. He really had done this before, then. Part of you hadn’t believed him—he seemed so…harmless

·       He’d picked out a single blade from the package, meticulously removing the white paper wrapping, taking extra care not to tear it, or let the blade cut into it. When he was through, he folded the paper into a neat square and dropped it onto the comforter. He lay the blade flat on his palm for you to see. “I don’t have pointy teeth, you see.” He took your hand, opening his mouth and guiding your fingers along the edges of his flat, dull teeth. “They aren’t sharp, so they don’t cut deep enough. You understand?” You’d nodded and he had kissed your fingertips gently, one by one.

·       “I’ll be careful, I promise,” He’d said, “I’ll only take a little. Just enough to take the edge off.” Despite the hungry glint in his eyes, you’d known he was telling the truth. He didn’t need to reassure you of that. You trusted him. Besides, you had asked for this. At least, he’d stopped asking if he still had your permission every five minutes. Of course he did.

·       And yet. Your heartbeat had kicked up, jittering like a frightened bird when you’d seen the needles and the razor. It was as though actually seeing them had made the whole situation feel more real. There was no denying you were afraid, but you didn’t tell him to stop—you didn’t want to. You had made up your mind. You wanted this; wanted to help.

·       He’d held your hand in his own like it was a thing made of glass. His fingers gripped the razor with a practiced grace as he held it just above your palm. Watching him, you were struck for the second time by just how rehearsed this seemed. How many times had he done this, with or without permission?

·       “Take a deep breath for me, okay? There’s a good boy.” Did he talk to the others too? Even the ones who fought back? You could picture him, chattering softly against the skin of some poor soul, sprawled limp across the floor.

·       Limp or lifeless?

·       The thought unsettled you, but you did as you were told, filling your lungs nearly to capacity as the sharp edge of the blade bit into the meat of your palm just below your thumb. As promised, he had been quick, pressing only as hard as was necessary. Even so, the sting of it made your flinch, your hand jumping in his own. His fingers tensed around yours, the tightness of his grip reflected in the grimace that flashed across his face as he bent his head to seal his lips around the wound.

·       You had expected to feel him pulling the blood from you, but he simply let it flow into his mouth, the coppery taste heavy on his tongue. He exhaled through his nose, long and low—a pleased sound. Something about that set you more at ease. He hadn’t recoiled or wrinkled his nose at the taste of your blood. You hadn’t even realized you were worried about how you tasted until that moment.

·       You had started to feel dizzy beneath him—dizzy not from a loss of blood, but the wet heat of his mouth against your skin. Your heart had stuttered in your chest as his tongue probed gently around the edges of the wound, soothing your sparking nerves, even as the blood continued to drip down his throat.

·       When at last, he pulled away, his face was flushed, and his breath came hard; his chest heaving as though he’d just run a great distance. Immediately, his hand shot to his front pocket, fingers searching for the roll of gauze bandages he’s swiped from Cuda’s first-aid kit.

·       He’d wrapped the clean white fabric around your hand with such care it made your heart ache almost as much as the wound itself. When he was finished, he’d flipped your hand over and pressed a gentle kiss against your knuckles. Then, he spoke. His voice was small, barely more than a ragged whisper, “Thank you.”

·       “Was that…was it okay?” Your skin felt feverish, as though the heat of his mouth had seeped into your flesh and was burning you from the inside out. And the dizzy feeling had only grown worse, forcing you to squeeze your eyes shut for a long moment.

·       Martin was still struggling to get his breathing under control, “Yes. I-It was good…better than good, actually. But…”

·       “But?” Had you done something wrong? Had you tasted bad after all? You cracked open one eye, then the other. The spinning had mostly subsided, but you still felt unsteady. “What can I do better next time?”

·       He’d gone stiff all over then, and his reply had come sudden and sharp, “No!” He cringed, the force behind his words clearly surprising himself as well. When he spoke again, his voice was softer, “No ‘next time.’ I…I can’t stand hurting you like that. I won’t do it again.”

·       You’d gazed up at him, blinking in confusion for a second. Then you realized what he’d meant—you had flinched when he’d cut you. Oh.

·       You reached up, cupping his cheek, “Oh, Martin. You didn’t hurt me. Not really.” It wasn’t strictly true—it had hurt a little, but you had been prepared for it to. You brushed a stray droplet of blood from the corner of his mouth with a careful swipe of your thumb.

·       “Yes, I did. I saw it.” You had tried to protest further, but he’d cut you off, much to your surprise. Martin almost never talked back like this, though perhaps you’d simply never given him a reason before. “I saw you flinch. I won’t put you through this again.”

·       And he hadn’t. Though you’d brought the idea up more than once, he had dismissed it each time with the same stubborn shake of his head. If Martin was anything, he was true to his word.

·       “…and it’s been such a long time since we heard from the guy.”

·       The DJ hums in agreement, “It has indeed, my friend. Maybe we’ll hear from him later tonight. If you’re out there listening, Count, don’t be a stranger! Give us a call,” He begins rattling off the stations toll-free number. “We’re all dying to hear from you again!”

·       You feel Martin stiffen up against you. You knew about the interviews he had done; you’d even heard one of them, back when Martin was little more to you than a silent, sullen face behind the counter at Cuda’s shop. And even when he’d started talking to you, he sounded different over the radio—his voice was deeper, and he sounded so confidant, so sure of himself when he talked about his ‘sickness.’ He almost never sounded like that in day-to-day life. You weren’t embarrassed to admit you found it attractive.

·       Martin on the other hand, was mortified to know you had heard him. He had known that people were listened to him, obviously, but they were supposed to be strangers. You actually knew him, and he’d talked about sex. Of course, reminding him you’d done a lot more in your time together than simply listen to him talk about sex did little to lessen his horror.

·       Of course, you also knew he’d been doing fewer and fewer interviews now that he had you to talk to and share his life with. But on occasion, when the pleading from the DJ gets too desperate, or he was simply that bored, Martin could be coaxed back onto the other end of the phoneline once again.

·       You glance up at him, but in the darkness, his expression is unreadable, eyes cast down toward the end of the bed, long lashes throwing feathered shadows across his pale cheeks. From the very beginning, he’s been hard to read. As you’ve come to know him better, you’ve needed to get comfortable with the idea of asking when you want to know something you could easily intuit if speaking to anyone else. He’s very good at hiding his thoughts and feelings behind a neutral expression and placid silence, but he would tell you almost anything if you asked him directly; so long as he had the words to explain it to you.

·       Do you want to make a call, Martin?”

·       For a long moment, he’s silent, turning the idea over in his mind a few times. You had never actually been with him when he’d done an interview in the past. He’d usually wait until you were three days deep in an assignment with no quick end in sight, or out of town with family. Maybe he would be too embarrassed to do it with you here or maybe he’s just not in the mood tonight. But, after a minute, he tilts his head down toward you and says, “Why not?”

·       The radio crackles out a jaunty tune—a commercial for some small business or another. “I’ll call in a few minutes. He doesn’t seem busy tonight.” Martin sits up, bracing his back against the headboard of your bed, and dislodging you from your perch. You grumble a little, irritated by the loss of your comfy spot, but you crawl into his lap anyway.

·       You press soft kisses into his skin, beginning at his hairline, and trailing down over his forehead, the bridge of his nose, his cheeks—the right then the left—the very tip of his nose, and finally his lips. He smiles against your mouth, leaning into the kiss with his whole body.

·       When you pull away only a moment later, you can practically hear the pouty turn of his mouth. He whines softly, but you pay him no mind, trailing kisses down his chin. “Are you nervous, Martin?” The question comes out muffled by the soft curve of his jaw.

·       “Not really, no…” He trails off, eyes cast to the ceiling, “I like the attention, I s’pose.”

·       You pull back to look at him, barely stifling a snort of amusement, “Don’t I give you enough?”

·       His eyes slide from the ceiling, falling upon you dark and wide. For a moment, you think he’s taken you seriously, but the pouty turn of his mouth breaks into a blinding grin, “You give me lots, sure, but I’m a creature of the night, remember? We always want more.”

·       The two of you sit there for a moment, gazing into each other’s eyes, the silence stretching on into the night. Then, you collapse into each other in a fit of giggles. Martin buries his head into the crook of your neck, shaking with quiet laughter. Sure, when he’d said wasn’t untrue, but when he put it like that, it was hard not to laugh.

·       “Welcome back, everybody. It’s almost the top of the hour at 01:57! I’m your host Barry…”

·       You hadn’t even heard the ads end! Martin scrambles for the chunky landline phone that rests on the beside table, nimble fingers punching in the numbers at speed. Though his calls had become less and less frequent, he evidently kept the number somewhere in his memory.

·       Martin’s voice is hushed as he speaks to whoever manned the phones down at the radio station, muttering something about ‘the Count.’ As he speaks, he winds the coiled phone cord around a delicate finger. It’s a simple, distracted habit of Martin’s but it makes your heart flutter whenever you catch him doing it.

·       You stretch your arm as far as you can, reaching for the radio, unwilling to give up your perch in Martin’s lap for even a second. Your fingertips brush the cool metal—once, twice—then you manage to curl your fingers around it. Pulling it into your lap you turn the volume down low so only you can hear it.

·       “I’m just getting word that we have a special guest on the line,” the DJ sounds positively elated, “Folks, it looks like the Count is back in town. Hello, Count! Where have ya’ been?”

·       Martin hesitates for a moment, his jaw working as he searches for the words, “Around.”

·       There is a definite lag between the words in his mouth, and those same words coming through the radio. The dissonance confounds your ears and makes your head ache in a dizzy sort of way, but you want to hear both halves of this conversation, not just Martin’s.

·       “So, what trouble have you been getting into since we last spoke, Count? Murdered any pretty ladies recently?”

·       There’s a smile in Martin’s voice, “Not ladies, no.”

·       “Oh really? Any men then?”

Martin glances down at you, though he makes a non-committal noise. The DJ takes a breath, as though he’s going to say something, but Martin cuts him off, “I wouldn’t call what I do murder, anyhow.”

·       “No? But you still need to drink blood, right?”

·       “Oh, yes.”

·       “How have you been getting your food, then? Don’t vampires uh…kill with every strike?”

·       Martin laughs, a soft, breathy sound that sends a shudder through you. “I’ve been managing.” His tone is damn near conversational. You gaze down at him, marvelling at how easy this seems to be for him. The Martin you’ve come to know and love rarely (if ever) speaks to strangers, and when he has no other choice, he’s never this talkative. It’s strange, but by no means an unwelcome change. You nuzzle against him, letting his voice thrum through your skull as it vibrates around in his chest.

·       “Enough talk of blood and guts, Count. What about your other problems, huh? Tell me, are the streets of Braddock safe at last from the real terror stalking them? Have you…” He pauses conspiratorially, “Found yourself a girl yet?”

·       Those words drive an icy spike of hurt deep into your guts. No, he had not found himself a girl. Martin must have felt your jaw clenching, as his free hand begins to card through your hair—soothing and soft.

·       “I’ve found…someone.” The implications of that word settles you almost as much as his touch. ‘Someone.’ Not a woman, but someone of significance, nonetheless. He bends down to press a quick kiss into the crown of your head. “Someone special.”

·       The DJ gasps, sounding scandalized. “Someone special! Well, I never. Good for you, Count.” You can’t say you’re a fan of the man’s tone—pleasant enough, but with a sharp edge that borders on condescending. But there’s little you can do but grit your teeth and bear it. “How long until you suck this one dry and move on?”

·       Wow. Fuck this guy. On some level, you’d known he was an asshole—sure you felt bad for him when people were rude, but he could dish it out just as well as he could take it. Every once in a while, he’d push a caller too hard or make a snide comment the conversation could have done without. You didn’t like hearing it when strangers were involved, and now that you were the subject of such a comment, you like it even less. He makes it sound like you’re some random conquest, or worse, little more than a meal to Martin. How wrong he was.

·       Suck this one dry and move on? Fat chance, Buddy. Though, his wording did give you an idea…maybe you could make this night just a little more interesting for the both of you.

You sit back, uncurling your legs and dropping your knees to either side of Martin’s hips, straddling his lap properly. Settling your weight back into his lap, you pull a face, pointing to the radio in your lap and mouthing, ‘What a jaggoff!’

·       Martin’s lips press into a thin line as he tries to stifle his laughter. He nods sympathetically but doesn’t say anything about it to the DJ. He’s slow to anger, preferring to divert the conversation rather than cause a scene. You can’t help but admire him for that. You lean forward, stamping a kiss against his collarbone.

·       “I…uh…try not to eat the things I love.”

·       “Ooooh, so it’s love, huh?”

·       You roll your eyes at the DJ, though you can’t deny hearing Martin say he loves you sends a little thrill through you—it was the same thrill you’d felt the first time he had said it to you, and the same thrill you hoped to feel for years to come. You trail little, open-mouthed kisses up the column of Martin’s throat, your mouth feverishly warm against his skin. A shudder jolts through him like an electric shock as your teeth scape across his Adam’s apple. You grin against his flesh, sliding up to nip along the underside of his jaw. There is a sensitive spot at the very corner that you love to exploit, and now seems like the perfect opportunity to do so.

·       Your teeth graze over the spot and his body jitters beneath you. His voice catches in his throat, though if the DJ notices, he doesn’t comment. You nip gently at the spot, reddening the pale skin as you worry it with your teeth. You long to suck a bruise there—the purple-blue hue would doubtless look stunning against the pallor of his skin, but you knew Cuda would have a conniption if he saw it, and you didn’t want to put Martin through that again. Not after last time. The pair of you had agreed that perhaps in future, it would be better if any hickeys you left remained under your clothes.

·       Pressing one final kiss against that spot, you pull back to look at him. You can tell he’s getting flustered—there’s a flush beginning to creep up his neck from beneath the collar of his t-shirt, deep pink and blotchy. You know, given time, it will reach his cheeks, the colour blooming high on his cheekbones. When you get him worked up enough, you could make Martin blush to the very tips of his ears. It was adorable.

·       Your fingers dig into the fabric of his shirt as you drag your nails down his chest. His teeth catch his lower lip. You can almost hear the whine trapped behind those pearly teeth.

·       “Why don’t you tell us a little about this special someone, Count?”

·       Martin hesitates, “I don’t know about that.”

·       “Nonsense! You can tell your good ol’ pal Barry. Who am I gonna tell?”

·       Martin isn’t that stupid. He knows Barry doesn’t need to tell anyone anything—he’s live on air, he’d be telling them himself. His eyes flick down to yours, searching for something, be it permission or resistance. He pulls the phone away from his ear, resting it against his shoulder as he waits for you to make up your mind. You know he’d hang up in an instant if you asked him to—he’d likely do you one better and never call in again if the DJ was just going to ask questions about you all night long. But you trusted Martin not to give too much information away—he’d managed to stay hidden all this time, after all.

·       You nodded at him, smiling and thumbing gently over a nipple. Though your touch is light, and the sensation is dampened by the fabric of his shirt, Martin makes a sound as though he’s been punched in the stomach. He shifts beneath you, tucking the phone underneath his chin as he moves.

·       You grip the striped fabric of his shirt, working it in your hands. You lift it a little, fingers slipping just beneath it to splay against the flat plane of his stomach. His skin is warm and soft beneath your hands. You look down at him, arching a brow and asking for permission with only your eyes.

·       “Fine.” He says, and though the word is an answer for the DJ’s pleading, he’s talking to you, looking directly into your eyes—granting the permission you were so hoping for.

·       “Great! So, how long have you been together?”

·       You fall into him, hands pushing the soft cotton of his shirt up over his chest. Your lips are on his skin in a matter of seconds, trailing kisses across every inch of exposed skin—stomach, ribs, hips, and everything in between.

·       “It’s been ahh—” His words are cut short by a tight little moan as you bite down hard just below his left nipple. However, he manages a solid recovery as your tongue laves over the spot soothing the sting, playing the whole thing off as though he had needed time to stop and think about it, “—bout a year, maybe a little longer.”

·       Clever boy.

·       You drag your tongue a little higher, flicking over the sensitive skin of his nipple. He arches into your touch, hips canting up against yours, threatening to buck you from your perch. He tilts his head, trapping the phone between his cheek and his shoulder, reaching for you with both hands.

·       He takes your cheeks into his hands, pulling your head away from his chest. You grin up at him, taking in his expression—his pupils blown so wide with want they swallow all but the slimmest ring of brown iris, his lips parted and shining in the semi-darkness, flushed to the tips of his ears.

·       You surge up to kiss him, remembering only at the last moment, he needs to keep his mouth free to carry on the conversation. With a huff, you divert your course, and fix your lips back against the skin of Martin’s neck.

·       He swallows hard as you press your lips back against his pulse, pushing his hips back up into yours. You can’t keep the grin form your face as you feel him pressing up against you—the outline in his pants far more noticeable now.

·       His hands tremble slightly as they search for yours, dragging them down to the front of his jeans. You grin widens as you press down. Even through the thick denim, you can feel his cock throb under your palm. Someone’s excited.

·       You look down at him and he turns his head away, flushing a shade darker. He was so easy to wind up like this, it was almost unbelievable. A few kisses here, and gentle touch there, and he was a blushing, whining mess spread out on your sheets for you to enjoy however your pleased. You had chalked the over-sensitivity up to a lack of experience, and had expected it to fade after a few months, but it hadn’t. He was just that reactive, not that you were complaining.

·       With deft fingers, you pop the button of his jeans, quietly dragging the zipper down. He lifts his hips, wriggling helpfully as you drag his pants and underwear down over his thighs.

·       His cock bobs free, flushed and leaking already. You ghost the pads of your fingers over the soft skin of his shaft, and he shudders, his whole body tensing. His knuckles are white where he grips the phone, and his jaw is tight with the struggle of keeping quiet.

·       You wrap your hand around him, stroking gently from base to tip. His back arches off from the headboard, and he falls forward, burying his head in the crook of your neck. The phone receiver bumps against your collarbone, hard and hollow. The plastic is pleasantly cool against your feverish skin.

·       “Is it different being with a…uh…forgive the expression, normal person?”

·       “They’re a…” His laugh is breathy, almost a moan as he glances down at you, “a real handful.”

·       You barely stifle a laugh. You glare down at him in mock disapproval, and he sticks his tongue out at you. Cheeky little bastard. Though the colour still sits high on his cheeks, and his breathing comes through parted lips in short puffs, he seems to have adjusted well to your pace.

·       “Nothing you can’t handle though, I’m sure. Do they know about your…condition, shall we say?”

·       “They are aware, yes.”

·       The DJ laughs, “And how did that go? Can’t be an easy thing to hear—that your boyfriend might vamp out and eat you whole!”

·       Martin sighs, “I already told you, I don’t eat people…” His voice is much steadier now, even as your fingers brush along the sensitive spots on the underside of his cock. That means its time to switch things up. You can’t have him getting too comfortable. Where would the fun be in that? You tighten your grip—something that usually makes Martin thrash against the sheets and sob into your pillows—and begin to swipe your thumb gently over the tip of his cock with every upward stroke. He almost drops the phone as he yanks it away from his mouth. He covers the receiver with a shaking hand just in time, as a soft whine slips through his teeth, “Oh, fuck…”

·       You press a finger up against your lips, reminding him to be quiet. He presses up into your fist, his hips stuttering as your thumb traces a lazy circle around his head. His free hand flutters nervously about his mouth, as he tries desperately to keep quiet. His breath comes sharp and quick though his nose as he struggles to keep control. You shift your weight, pinning his hips back down with your thighs, and though he tries to buck back up against you, you hold him firmly in place. He whines high in his throat, shooting a pleading look up at you, but you just shake your head and point at the phone, ‘Keep going.’

·       Slowly, Martin brings the receiver back up to his ear. His tongue flickers out over his lips and he lets out a shaky breath, “S-Sorry, I didn’t catch that?”

·       “I said, ‘let’s circle back to what you said before,’ about not eating what you love. Why not? If you don’t need to kill to feed, why not feed on this special someone? Surely if they love you back, they’d be willing.”

·       You slow your hand, wanting to give Martin a fighting chance at answering. You were momentarily intrigued by the DJ’s line of questioning. You knew why Martin didn’t want to feed on you, but you were curious as to what sort of excuse he would give.

·       “W-Well…it’s come up mo-ore than once but…” Martin goes silent as you squeeze down on him, his posture going rigid, his head thrown back against the headboard.

·       The DJ lets the silence hang for a moment, but when Martin doesn’t finish his thought, he cuts in, “But…? You still there, Count?”

·       You let up, and Martin takes a big gulp of air, as though he had only just remembered he needed to breathe. “Y-Yeah, I’m here. It’s…it’s complicated.”

·       “Oh yeah? How?”

·       “Well, it’s not about whether they’ll let me or not…” He takes a shaky breath, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment as he steadies himself. When he speaks again, his voice is low, barely more than a whisper, “It’s that I want more.”

·       He tries in vain to buck up into your fist, his hips rolling in shallow, abortive little thrusts. His teeth are sunk into his lower lip, his eyes boring deep into your own.

·       ‘I want more.’ Those words were meant for you.

·       You blink down at him, momentarily dumb founded. Then a grin spreads across your face, sharp and hungry. If he wants more, you’ll give it to him—you’d give it to him until he was begging you to stop.

·       Sliding down his body, you know this is risky. Martin has never been good at keeping quiet, especially not when you’ve got your mouth on him. But the idea is simply too enticing to pass up on. When were you ever going to get the change to suck his cock live on air again? Besides, this might be good practice for him in the art of keeping his voice down—not that you didn’t love to hear him, it just might be nice to keep your…activities a secret from the whole neighbourhood for once.

·       You wriggle down onto your stomach, bringing your face level with Martin’s cock. Settling yourself into a comfortable position between his knees, you bend your head, pressing a gentle kiss against the tip of his cock.

·       He makes an involuntary choking sound in the back of his throat. You look up at him, resting your chin on the tops of his thighs. You want to give him the time he needs to make up his mind. If he tells you ‘no,’ or pushes you away, you’d gladly go back to stroking his cock and kissing his neck. You would get just as much pleasure from the shivers and whimpers you could wring out of him that way.

·       But he doesn’t tell you no, rather he pushes his hips up against you, pressing the tip hard against your lips. You flick your tongue out, ghosting for only a moment over his sensitive flesh, but it’s enough to make his eyes roll back, his long lashes fluttering against his cheeks. You do it again, and his mouth falls open. Though no sound escapes the look on his face is just as glorious.

·       This is going to be fun.

·       You crane your neck, opening your mouth and gently taking the head inside.  Martin’s free hand shoots to his mouth, and he bites down hard on the meat of his palm to stop himself from sobbing out loud. You press your tongue flat against him, dragging it slowly against his hot flesh. He thrashes beneath you, jostling the phone against his cheek.

·       Carefully, you sink further down on him, taking him in inch by inch. He lets out a long sigh around a mouthful of palm.

·       “What was that, Count?”

·       “Oohh…nothing,” Martin grinds out, “Just…closing a window.”

·       The lie was flimsy, but the DJ, despite his skeptical tone, didn’t seem interested in pressed him on it further, “…Right…so how is your control around this person, huh? Do you ever get the urge to just go to town on them?”

·       Martin’s laugh comes out as a low purr, and he bucks into your mouth once, “Mmm, sometimes.” Ever so slowly, as you’ve sunk down onto his cock, he’s been curling in on himself. His head now rests atop your own, and you can feel the heat of his cheek radiating against your scalp. If that heat is anything to go by, he must be positively scarlet.

·       “And what does that entail for you exactly?”

·       With a little jolt, his cock brushes up against the back of your throat. You swallow down a little choking noise, breathing steadily through your nose in an attempt to calm your gag reflex.

·       The warmth of Martin’s cheeks is suddenly gone as he straightens up again. His head hits the headboard with a thump. “I-I just wanna…” He swallows thickly, his breath coming hard, “Push into…p-push my teeth into their throat and just,” He bucks up into your throat, either unable, or simply unwilling to stay still any longer, “just take what I want.”

·       “Their…blood?”

·       You swallow around Martin and his back arches so far he practically lifts off the bed “Yes! Yes, everything they have to give!”

·       “Right…for a moment there it sounded a bit more, uh, sexually motivated than that.”

·       Again, your throat contracts around him, and a hiss of air escapes through his teeth, “No difference really…”

·       The DJ is silent for a moment, “Now that’s an interesting tidbit about you, Count. I’m sure all the ladies out there would love to hear more about that.”

·       Marin fucks up into your throat again with a soft groan, “I’m…I’m sure they would but,” His breath is coming harder now, “unfortunately, I’m taken.”

·       The DJ laughs, “Hear that, Count? That’s the sound of hundreds of hearts all over Braddock breaking. Sorry, folks but it looks like you’re out of luck.”

·       Oh. He’s taken alright. You can just imagine the anguished looks on their faces when you learn he gets taken almost every other night by another man.

·       Though you’d love to keep him in this position, you’re struck by the sudden, possessive urge to have him on his back. You tap his thigh thrice in quick succession and Martin withdraws almost immediately. He’s always so respectful of your wishes, even if he whines a little when his cock slips from the wet heat of your mouth. The sudden chill of the air on his wet cock sends a shiver through him.

·       You scoot back, grabbing Martin by the calves, and pulling him down into a more horizontal position. He fumbles with the phone, as it slips from his grasp, landing on the bed near his shoulder.

·       “What’s going on, Count?”

·       “S-Sorry, I just…I just dropped the phone is all. I’m…I’m feeling awful shaky these days.”

·       “Oh, yeah? How long has it been?”

·       Martin’s tone is distracted, “Ages.” He is far more focused on you, his dark eyes trained on yours as you loom over him.

·       The DJ asks another question, but you’re not listening as you slip Martin’s slick cock into your mouth, wasting no time in taking him back into your throat where he belongs.

·       Though you can’t make out his words so well over the rushing in your ears, Martin’s voice sounds strained, slightly higher than usual. He’s fighting the pleasure hard.

·       His free hand fists itself in your hair, pushing you down tighter against his cock. You swallow hard, trying desperately not to gag as he rolls is hips into your mouth. He’s come such a long way since the first time you asked him to fuck your mouth. He’d been so nervous that you did most of the work, bobbing your head faster and faster until he’d spilled deep into your mouth. He had apologized for almost an hour after, thinking the rasp in your voice was all his fault. Now? He’s practically asphyxiating you, and you hadn’t needed to say a word.

·       Martin is shaking—his thighs tremble on either side of your head, and the phone in his hands nearly slips from his grasp again with the force of the tremors passing through him.

·       You hollow your cheeks and he’s forced to cover the receiver again as a series of whimpers tear free from his lips. You press your tongue flat against the underside of his cock, and he sobs, his hips canting up off the bed.

·       “I-I’m close,” His frantic whisper comes tight through his teeth, an edge bordering on panic creeping into his voice. You grip his thigh and redouble your efforts, gaining a high whine in return.

·       “Hey, Count? Count there’s a lot of interference on your end…I can’t really hear you. I think this is where this conversation has to end, but call back another night, huh?” Martin doesn’t even respond, he simply slams the receiver back into the cradle, ending the call.

·       Almost as soon as the call has disconnected, he’s a whimpering mess. “Oh, fuck! Your mouth…I-I can’t! Is it okay? Is it okay if I…?”

·       He can’t bring himself to say it, but you know what he means and hum a soft affirmation around his cock. He cries out as the sound vibrates around his over-sensitive flesh.

·       With a whimper, he fucks up into your mouth, once, twice, then he shudders, his whole body going rigid as he cums. His knees clamp around your ears, squeezing your head as he shakes with the pleasure. His fingers pull at your hair, any tighter and you’re sure he’ll pull some out. But you press on, hollowing your cheeks, letting him ride the high for as long as he can.

·       The sound he makes as you swallow around him is nothing short of wrecked. His fingers claw the sheets as though he’s trying to drag himself away from you, from your mouth, but his body remains locked in place beneath you.

·       His cock twitches against your tongue as you slowly pull back, the wet drag of your tongue digging raw little whimpers from his throat, and a shudder passed through him when you pull of and his cock is again exposed to the chilly air of the room. His hips press forward, seeking the tight heat of your throat again. It would seem almost desperate if the motion wasn’t so sluggish, almost sleepy.  

·       He reaches for you then in the dark. His hands, hot and sweaty from exertion and gripping both the phone and the sheets for so long, grasp either side of your face as he pulls you up for a kiss.

·       The salty taste of his cum still coats your tongue, but he doesn’t seem to care as he presses his lips against yours with a desperation you rarely see in him.

·       Pulling back, you whisper against his lips, “Was that enough attention?”

·       He smiles, “For me? Yes.” He presses another soft kiss against your lips. “But now it’s your turn.”

[efyra]

EEEK I WAS SO EXCITED TO JOIN UR CELEBRATION i knew it wouldnt be long til u post it🦋

can i get 🌷 im a female she/her, ravenclaw, im easily bored n a perfectionist idk if being easily bored is a personality or not lol facts abt me: im using a baby towel as my towel, im using a baby lotion, i love to collect anything that has simba from the lion king in it bcs my fav animal is lion n my fav movie is the lion king n i like to bake😋 ship me w whoever give me the wildcard!

i wrote 4 facts hshdhshs but i hope thats okay congratulations again my love😘

my sweet naila 🥺 thank you, my popcorn 🍿i really hope you like it!

✨ 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝟓𝟎𝟎 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ✨

and because i know you, i ship you with...

draco malfoy

Hakuna Matata?

note: just an alternate universe where draco doesn’t become a death eater

On a spring afternoon, Draco told you:

"You're wrong, you know?"

Your eyebrow arched. "Why do you say that?"

"Because it's true" he chuckled.

"Draco" you turn your body so you can face your Slytherin boyfriend "I'm sure we spoke for the first time in Hogsmeade."

"You're wrong" he repeated, still with a presumptuous and funny tone.

You huffed. "So, will you tell me when we first spoke?"

"Professor Slughorn had just passed us an assignment on Everlasting Elixirs..." Draco smothered a laugh when he saw your eyes widen.

"Oh no..."

"Oh yes"

And in fact, Draco was right.

The first time you spoke was after a Potions class during your sixth year. You had stayed in the classroom to ask some questions to Professor Slughorn about the assignment you were supposed to do, and for this reason, you were late for your next class.

You ran down the corridors to get to the Charms classroom, but you always were a little clumsy and stumbled on your own feet. For your luck - very lucky - you find something to hold on to: the platinum blond boy's robes in front of you.

Draco is pulled back when he feels something grabbing on his Slytherin robe. "Hey, be more careful" he said angry and when he turned to find out who had dared to do such a thing, he sees you and, for a moment, he is lacking of words.

The Slytherin boy kinda knows you.

"The Ravenclaw girl that smells like baby lotion and vanilla. What is her name...?"

But he didn’t have time to ask you anything because the second you two run into each other, you start saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." and quickly pick up your stuff that fell to the ground before running back to your next class.

He realized that you missed your quill. Unwittingly, Draco opened a smile and picked up the object, keeping it in his pocket.

"You stole my quill!" you exclaimed, pointing a finger in the direction of your boyfriend. "I've been looking for it for days!"

"In my defense, I wanted to give it back to you," Draco explains, "but you always ran away from me.

Once again, he was right: you, in fact, tried your best to avoid any contact with Slytherin boy; this was because you were aware of his arrogant fame and didn't want to hear any unpleasant words, but this never happened.

"Here" Draco extends to you the quill.

A surprised look appears on your face when you take the familiar object in your hands. "Have you kept it all this time?" you ask with curiosity.

He shrugs. "I was waiting for an opportunity to give it back to you, but..."

"But?" you insist.

"We met at Three Broomsticks... so I decided to keep it to myself."

Months after that first "conversation", you and Draco met again.

You were entering the pub at the same instant he was leaving; and for the second time, you bumped into each other.

"Can you tell me if this will become an annoying habit?" the blond asked in irritation.

But you ignored him completely, your neck rising up and looking around the place, searching for something; apparently your friends hadn't finished their shopping at Honeydukes yet.

Draco snapped his fingers in front of you, catching your attention - hating to be ignored.

"Ah" you gasped, remembering the Slytherin boy’s presence "I'm sorry, I thought I was late and...".

"Is that why you're still wearing a towel?" he questioned amusingly, pointing towards your neck.

To your horror, you still carried your Lion King towel over your shoulders and thought you would regret for all eternity to embarrass yourself in front of Draco freaking Malfoy, but fate had a funny way of executing its plans.

"But what's this weird thing?" was the question that started your relationship with Draco.

The second time you talked was much longer than the first; you sat at a table at Three Broomsticks and drank butterbeer while you told Slytherin boy the story of Simba.

Draco hadn't found the story super interesting, but he had definitely loved being able to feel your baby lotion and vanilla perfume more. He had loved to hear the sound of your voice. He hadn't been able to take his eyes off you while you made exaggerated gestures with your hands trying to describe scenes from the children's movie - he thought you looked beautiful, very beautiful.

You said goodbye to each other when your friends showed up next to your table holding Honeydukes' bags. And you thought you would never talk to Draco Malfoy again, but you were wrong, because, that night, he went to sleep thinking about you.

The third time you talked was the next day when Draco kicked out your partner from Potions to sit next to you. Professor Slughorn couldn't care less about the exchange of partners and gave you an assignment to do in pairs.

As you continued talking with him, you realized that the blond Slytherin boy might not be so unpleasant.

The first time your heart beat faster when you were in Draco's presence was when he held your hand when you were about to add an ingredient to the potion you should prepare together.

"Silly girl" he had said with a smile "you have to prick it first.

Then, one afternoon you were in Hogwarts library, researching in several books what you could include in the Potions report that you should write in pairs. 

"We should put this" Draco pointed to a line on the book's page.

It took you a few seconds to read what was written and you shook your head. "No, no."

"Why not?" The blond frowned.

"Because it's too obvious!" you huffed. "I bet everyone will write the same thing."

"Maybe because it's right?" he said almost incredulous.

"Writing something right, but still different is what will make us stand out," you winked. 

And it was on that day that Draco Malfoy realized that he might be in love with you.

Your first kiss was a few days before the end of the school year, after a hard exams period, you were sharing a couch on Slytherin's common room and a chocolate frog.

"I got dirty?" you asked after licking the chocolate leftovers from your fingers, turning to Draco. Unconsciously, you tilted your head to the side and your lips curved up in a little smile - at that moment, Draco thought you had never looked so cute, but at the same time, so irresistible.

Without answering your question, he brought his face close to yours, connecting your lips in a sweet kiss.

You and Draco were together, but you were not dating.

During the summer, you exchanged letters almost every day. You had gotten used to Draco's presence, it was weird not being with him.

When September arrived again, you didn't waste any time and got in the train, looking for the platinum blond who occupied your thoughts the whole time, but it was him who found you.

You two shared a cabin - and nobody dared to join you.

"Ah" you extended a bag that you were carrying in Draco's direction "this is for you".

The Slytherin boy looked at you surprised - and a little terrified.

"Is that a gift? I didn't even buy her a gift... did I have to buy a gift? Will she be upset? What if she...", but his thoughts were interrupted when you said, "It's just some cookies. I promise it's not poison or anything" with a playful smile on your face.

Draco didn't know you could bake, but he was pleasantly surprised to find out - especially since your cookie was delicious.

And that was the day he was sure that he fell in love with you.

He asked you to be his girlfriend on a Christmas morning in Hogwarts right after giving you a nice necklace as a gift.

And since then, you had brought Draco a joy he had never felt before - and which he never thought he could feel.

Your favorite pastime was to go to Three Broomsticks and drink butterbeer together while you talked about the most diverse subjects.

And Draco still loved to hear you talking about Lion King.

That same spring afternoon, you and Draco were in Slytherin's common room; he was sitting on an armchair and you were on his lap.

"You know, I still think you should watch Lion King with me," you say, your fingers brushing through your boyfriend's platinum blond wires.

"I rather hearing you telling the story to me" Draco answers with a smile, giving a kiss in the corner of your mouth. "Besides, we need to finish that Potions assignment."

"Oh no, let's stay like this a little bit longer."

"But that's for two days from now."

"Hakuna Matata, Draco. Hakuna Matata."

"Hakuna Matata?"

[plutowrites]

AHHH PLUTO okok I’m definitely requesting something from my mf baby 😤❣️

Okok we already know who I’m picking this with... but to be safe Levi LMAO

My pronouns are she/they so she is fine 🤠❣️

OKOK for starters I’m an INFP ! Personality wise with people I don’t know very well they do say I’m a little blunt and I come off harsher than I mean to and I have a very dominant personality, like I’m not at all afraid to call shit out if I see it and be honest with people! But I also think I’m a very kind and devoted person! With my friends and people I talk to though I’m very loud and I feel like I can be a lot sometimes LMAO, I’m just a loud goofy person :)

I’m also very awkward though like “🧍🏻‍♀️”at its finest in social situations that aren’t with work, I’m not very good at reading social queues which is probably why I’m very blunt a lot of the time and harsh on accident cause I don’t mean to be!! I’m just talking!!

I think I’m pretty funny too 🤓

Generally people either think I’m v sweet or mean and idk where that puts me LMAO

Hobbies 🥸 this is so hard always pls but I like artsy stuff -we know this- and I really like the outdoors!! Camping??? Yeah sign me tf up ! I MF LOVE ROADTRIPS I love every part!! The long drives and the scenery and the hotel and the stupid souvenirs it’s just ugh I love it :)

Looks; ok now listen, I am 5’9” and like a half,,, I know Levi is like 5’3 on a good day but IDC‼️I love my lil shorty❣️❣️For looks idk what else to say besides the fact that body wise i’d say I’m like curvy but I have kind of muscular/thick thighs from when I did rugby -that I am a teensy bit insecure about- and that’s just kind of how I’ve always been built man 🧍🏻‍♀️ features wise I have curly black hair and brown eyes and uhhh a beauty mark right by my lip like a Marilyn Monroe one idk what else to say face wise LMAO 😶

Ok I WONT put smoothie as my fav dessert cause apparently that don’t count 🙄✋🏼‼️ so it’d have to be like strawberry anything 🤓❣️ besides ice cream 😶 like strawberry cheesecake! That’s good there we go :)

OK I HOPE THIS WASNT TOO MUCH I LOVE YOU PLUTO PLS IM SO EXCITED

HI LOVE I kinda went off bc you gave me so much to work with ❤️🥺 and while i was writing everything i was like damn...im starting to have feelings for bunny too LMAOO

ANYWAYSS i hope you enjoy 😘

Random Headcanons

Levi and you started dating because all your mutual friends were pushing you guys together and it got to the point where the two of you were so frustrated and were all like fine, LET’S JUST DATE

But then he started to really make you feel ushy gushy feelings…..and you started to make him feel such strong and intense emotions

Whenever the two of you hung out he would bring you snacks that he saw you eating (and enjoying) before. Like y’all will go on a hike and he’ll pull out gummies from his pocket or a random ass drink for you

“Where did that come from?”

“Just take it idiot.”

“Are you sure?”

“I brought it for you.”

 He’ll get so shy then after realizing what he said and he vows to himself to never be soft like that again but then he can’t help it when he’s around you. Poor bby just wants to make you so happy.

He loves listening to you talk and it doesn’t matter what you talk about, he just loves listening to you go on and on ESPECIALLY if it’s something that makes you excited 

You just do something to him when he sees your eyes go all wide and you start to use your hands to speak and he’s freaking out in the inside bc he thinks you’re so perfect but on the outside he looks so nonchalant as he drinking his fourth cup of tea of the day

He’s gonna look forward to your stories, and he especially loves your work ones except when ppl are making your job hard for you

He gets all annoyed that he can’t be there to tell them to fuck off 

I know you said your thighs were a bit of an insecurity for you but if you let Levi find out he’ll make sure you know he loves them and you’re perfect just the way you are

One of his favourite things to do is just lay down on them, head in your lap and he gets to just look up at you and be at peace

He doesn’t communicate his feelings 24/7, he would much rather show you how much he adores you

I feel like he’ll love to give you massages? The two of you will be watching a movie together and he’ll pull your feet onto his lap and just rubs them, or he’ll grab your hand and massage them for you

OUU you’ll be like ugh my hands are kinda dry and he’ll be like bet and leaves the room then comes back with lotion and rubs it on for you 

“I can do that myself, ya know?”

“Tch. Why do it when I can do it, brat?”

OMG you guys watch shows together and he would be so HURT if you watch an episode without him

He’ll come back home from work and see you watching the latest episode and his face will fall and he’ll just retreat back to the room without speaking to you LMAO

You have to promise to never do it again and give him lots of kisses. He’ll act super annoyed but he would forgive you in the first 5 seconds

GIRL he’s gonna love playing with your hair, he is lowkey (highkey) OBSESSED with touching your curls

Tries to do this at night though so he doesn’t ruin your hair for the day

Omg i’m writing a lot AHH 

Levi loves how easy it is to be around you and how effortless it is to love you

He’s not into the theatrics and he hates unnecessary drama so when he’s able to find someone he can be 100% himself around without worrying about rubbing them the wrong way with his personality...he’s so hooked

He appreciates your bluntness! He doesn’t like when people beat around the bush, he prefers someone who is always honest even if it comes off harsh! He’s the same exact way!

HE simply adores your beauty mark, you’ll just catch him sometimes looking at it (and your lips ofc) he thinks it super adorable but he also won’t be super obvious about it

He hates how much money you spend on iced coffees, he always wonders why you can’t make it at home like how he makes his tea at home

You’ll walk through the door and he sees a cup in your hands

“Didn’t I buy you an iced coffee this morning? You still haven’t finished it?”

“No, this is another one.”

“You’re 90% iced coffee at this fucking point.” 

One day he gets so fed up and he just buys all the ingredients to make your iced coffee at home and I’m not talking about him getting some basic instant coffee and some creamer, this man is ordering all the flavours you like

You like hazelnut syrup? He got it. Caramel? He ordered it. You like sweet cream cold foam on top? He bought a milk frother.

He’ll tell you he regrets it later on bc of how much space everything takes up

“Our kitchen turned into a shitty ass starbucks” 

He doesn’t actually regret it tho, he knows how much you love it and that’s enough to make him feel satisfied 

How Levi asks you to be his valentine

This man just straight up texts you! (see image below)

PLS Levi acts so hard but in reality he is so soft for you

After he presses send he constantly checks for your reply

Jumping to his phone when he feels a vibration in his pocket and then gets disappointed when it’s not you texting him back

How Levi spends Valentine’s day with you

For the valentine’s day itself he plans a road trip for the two of you and even though the destination is breathtaking and gorgeous, you can’t help but to think the best part was the journey

[goth-girlfriend]

Endeavor’s Intern

(4/?)

Pairing: Endeavor/Enji Todoroki x Student Reader

Rating: Fluff

Warnings: none?

Notes: Spelling errors? I was going to finish it with this part but decided I’d like to add a bit more before I finish.

💙❤️🖤❤️💙🖤💙❤️🖤❤️💙🖤💙❤️🖤❤️💙

“SHOTO!” I jumped onto his back and clung to him. His hands grabbed my thighs to keep me from falling off his back.

Deku looking shocked, his eyes wide.

“ARE YOU TWO DATING?!” Denki stepped into ask.

I laughed as Shoto seemed unamused, I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my chin on his shoulder.

“What do you think?” I asked and tilted my head.

“Yes?” Denki asked instead of answering.

“...........ok.” I shrugged and moved upwards and tried to get higher.

“So, let’s get to class.” I said still cling to Shoto.

He sighed and started to walk, Deku fell into step on our left, Denki to our right. He was curious that’s for sure.

“Also no, it’s not Shoto I’m dating. He’s just the bestest friend in the whole world!” I squeezed him.

He sighed and bounced to get me higher. Denki didn’t seem impressed or like he believe it.

“So winter break comes up next week. What are you going to be doing?” I asked.

“Spending it with my step mom.” He said keeping a straight face.

“Awe, that’s sweet. I like her, she’s sweet and pretty.” I smiled at him.

“Yeah, Dad never stops talking about her.” He looked back at me.

“Anyways, what about you guys?” I asked the other two.

“I’ll be him with my mom.” Deku answered.

“I’ll be with the fam, you know how it is.” Denki said and sighed with a smile.

“That’s sweet.” I said, we finally stopped at the class door.

“Oof, such a short walk.” I mumbled.

“Because you weren’t walking.” Shoto said rolled his eyes.

“Hehe,” I smield and opened the door, “What are we waiting for?”

We entered the class only three of four people were here. I made my wya to my seat and took a deep breath and sighed. Deku and Denki went to their seats and I was lucky to be beside Shoto.

“So where are we going?” I asked and tilted my head.

“I don’t know, he said it was a surprise. My brother and sister don’t know. I think they would freak out if they figure out his second girlfriend is the same age as his last child.” Shoto whispered back.

“Yeah, So it’s just you me and the big guy?” I asked, I paused and thought, “and Deku?” I I nodded in his direction.

“I was going to ask him until Kaminari showed up. I was just lucky you showed up to break the silence.” He was so serious.

“Oh, well, tomorrow is Friday. Do it then or you never will.” I sighed and pat his shoulder.

“Now I’m cold soooooo,” I slid closer to Shoto and hugged his left arm.

“You’re so warm.” I pressed my cheek into his shoulder, “So warm.”

A lot of people rushed in started to take seats just as the bell rang.

“Everyone shut up and sit down.” I smield At Aizawa as I moved to my desk.

It’s gotta be a struggle being a pro hero and a teacher. Especially with this class.

“Alright, as a reward for how good most of you have been doing and have grown. We’re going to be having a party.” Cheers erupted.

“SHUT UP BEFORE I CANCEL IT.” Everyone stopped.

“It’s nothing fancy, just our class. Today is our last day before break starts. We’re going to run a quick test like on the first day of school to see how much your control over your quirk and skills have improved. So get out of here and go get dressed.” He sighed and pulled out a juice pouch.

“Atleast it’s not a test.” I mumbled and stood up lingering at the back of class avoiding the big group. The day went by, just like the first day, long and sweaty. Luckily it wasn’t as hot as the beginning of the school year.

Bakugo still reminded number one, followed by Midoriya who tied with Todoroki then Shoji, Tokoyami, Kirishima, me, the rest followed, and the most important part, Mineta was last. I smiled, he’d progressed but not enough to move up. He was lucky the first time Midoriya didn’t have a quirk exactly but this time he lucked out.

Every sat down taking deep breaths and trying to relax on the drying field. Todorki sat his legs ages did him and leaning back on his open palms. I dropped beside him a threw my myself back over his lap.

“It’s hot.” I whined taking his right hand putting it on my forehead, “You’re such a good friend.”

The rest of the Deku squad came around and started to chatter, I was staring up at the sky as it started to turn from its pale blue to a darker blue. The sun was moving over making room for the moon. I sighed and sat up.

“Deku, I need to talk to you and Todoroki.” They both looked at me. “Privately.”

After they followed me to a more secluded part of the field I turned to Shoto and gave him a look. “So, this isn’t my business so I’m leaving.”

I turned and walked not waiting. I made it back and plopped down beside Tokoyami who was sitting in the shade of a tree. Just a calm and nice person to sit silently with while the time passed. He opened his right eye and looked at me. I gave a small smile and he nodded before closing it again. This is what a friendship is made of, no words, just a peace full silence.

Time passed and I found myself staring at the sun through the leaves thinking about times I’ve spent in secret at the Todoroki Estate. My parents didn’t know, they lived in a different city, I had been staying in a student apartment until the school opened dorms. Whenever unexpected breaks came up I’d just tell them I was staying with Deku and his mom and they approved. In reality I’d go and stay with Shoto and stay in his house in the guest room. I might be infatuated with his dad but I’m not a loose woman. I arched my chest popped my back and stretched my legs out. My mind drifting to memories, of shopping with Shoto using his dads card, spending time with Endeavor, stuck under his heavy arm pressed against his side as we watched movies. Lingering in his office when he was busy with hero stuff. Hanging out with Shoto more and getting to know more about Endeavor then I would’ve expected. Soft touches and forehead kisses. Helping mend his and Shoto’s relationship, they might not be lovey dovey but now they can hold a simple conversation without cold stares and loud Soba slurping. I thought of every picture in my camera roll and Snapchat, picture with Enji, pictures with my future step son Shoto, pictures with both of them. Pictures of just them together. The day came to an end, and everyone finally started to head back in. I walked beside Tokoyami, just casually. When everyone was hot and back in the classroom Aizawa told us to dress nice for tomorrow for a photo. Everyone mumbled an okay and then left.

“So, Shoto....” I started as I dropped onto his bed, “How’d it go?”

“He said yes.” His simple answer as he looked through his closet.

“Great.” I chirped and stretched across his bed.

“He now also knows you’re going to be my step mother.” I chocked.

“what....” I faced him.

“A family vacation and you would be there, I can’t lie and say I invited you. It would make no sense for you to just show up. So I told him you were dating my dad.” He found a white button up shirt and grabbed closet hanger.

“Oh, so I can call him son in law now....” I grinned up at him as he tensed.

“Sure.” He mumbled and didn’t face me.

“NOW TELL ME.” I shoved myself up, “Where are we going?”

“Ask Endeavor when you see him today, now get up we have to get to class. I won’t be late for this photo because you’re interested in my dad and vacation.”

The party passed quickly, Momo tried to make a move on Todoroki which was stopped by Deku accidentally bumping into Iida who bumped into Uraraka who bumped Momo out of the way and away from Shoto. It was a calm first period, we took photo’s with Aizawa Separately and then together as a large group. He seemed happy as he looked at his phone until Kaminari screamed.

“IM GOING TO MISS YOU DADZAWA.” and then hugged his shoulders which led to a group hug.

The rest of the day was spent watching movies, when the day finally ended class 1-A spent all night singing Karaoke and playing games. Everyone heard Bakugo genuinely laugh after Kirishima tackles him and started to tickle his sides. He’s the only one brave enough and the only one who would’ve survived. Bakugo was nice the rest of the night, small ‘heh’s coming out of him every now thin. Leaning on each other and smiling talking about things that happened until Mina brought up the game of secret Santa we had all decided to play. So everyone traded gifts and decided to not open them until Christmas the only thing being you have to send a video to the person who sent it to you. I thanked Todoroki as he gave me a box. I gave one to Kirishima, who gave one to Bakugo, who gave one to Deku, who gave one to Tokoyami, then Mina, then Shoji, then Ochako, then Mineta, then Sero, then Ojiro, then Jirou, the rest followed until everyone had one gift.

“Group chat! Everyone has to send a picture of what they get!” Kirishima said and made a chat before anyone could deny.

I smield down at my phone as people sent messages with names and pictures. The night ended and we all went our separate way in the morning with goodbyes, take care, hugs and platonic cheek kisses.

I was the last one, everyone had left. I head back up and grabbed my bag, and a bag with the things I needed. I walked home, looking up at the sky. It was starting to pepper itself with stars. I made my way up an apartment building to the third level. Room 300, I opened it. It looked exactly how I last remembered it. Navy walls, white counter tops. Black glass Kotatsu, navy cushions with stars and constellations. I sighed the cold air filled my lungs. I stepped in, and turned on the bright white lights. I locked the door behind me. The kitchen was still small, white walls, black stove and sink, black refrigerator, wood knife block with gold knives I bought for the esthetic. I saw a bowl of mangos and picked a note that was laying on it.

‘(Y/n),

Were sorry we couldn’t bring you home. We sent a grocery order, If you’re reading this note it means the order made it to your apartment. Your dad and I sent you gifts we bought for Christmas. We love you, and stay safe.

Also, I sent a few extra hundred to your bank account buy yourself something nice while your off for break.

We love you, Merry Christmas. Well call you soon.’

I nodded at the note and just sighed. I made my way to my room, the walls here mimicked the living room with gold trim. I had placed metallic vinyl stars along the crown and down wards. I stepped over to my desk and it’s chair. I looked at my bed, king size leaving almost no room for anything else. Two standing lamps on either side of the head of the bed. The windows beside it were letting the moons light shine in through.

I sighed and laid in my bed and took in the feeling of the cold heavy blankets. I felt my eyes stinging, Why was I crying? I’d get to spend a week with Enji and Shoto and Deku. But I guess after that I’ll be alone for four weeks. Being alone that’s why, I sighed and rolled onto my stomach burying my face into a pillow. I pulled the blanket over myself and fell asleep in the moonlight.

I woke up heart racing to tapping on my window. I looked at the window ready to face whatever it could be. All I came to face were large slow raindrops pelting themselves against the window. I watched the skies, bright blue and purple lightening bolts lights up the dark. I wish it could rain forever sometimes, but I guess that’s just not the case. I sighed and pushed the blankets back feeling the heat build up. The rumbling of my ac started up, I yawned and stretched. At some point last night I ditched my pants and bra. I pushed myself up and took a shower and got ready to do nothing. It’ll be this week and next week before I get to see Shoto and Enji. What should I do?

I looked around my living room and huffed, “I probably should’ve stocked up on entertainment. I guess I can go to that large art store down the street. Or binge watch some Netflix.” I grabbed my phone to check my bank account. I’d been saving up and rarely spending to be able to splurge on myself on Christmas. I’d saved up $800, and let me see what my mom sent. “600?!”

“I have $1,400.00 to spend on myself! I could do so much... but I should probably save it for vacation in case I want to buy something.” I closed my phone and just decided to binge watch Avatar The Last Airbender. I got antsy and started to practice baking. I wasn’t bad but I wasn’t a pro.

I sighed leaning on the counter staring at the screen, Zuko’s back story played and I spoke to myself. “He’s definitely the reason I’ve had so many explosive crushes.”

The rest of the day went by slow, I recited the deliveries of present, I made cupcakes and a cake, an egg pudding, and I tried my hand in mochi. I sighed and started to make the icing to actually finish the cupcakes. I looked up smiling at a funny scene from Avatar. I started to pipe on the icing, and smiled at the black and white swirls.

The first week passed slowly, I used every tube of paint I had and still cut them open, I wore down every crayon, used every pot and pan at least five times. I started watching naruto with fillers, and took up sculpting with ten pounds of air dry clay I got on sale for four dollars. I smiled at the little frog I had finally finished, I put it in the sun to let it dry with the other frogs and turtles.

‘Hey you wanna come over?’ ❄️🔥

‘Yes please😢’ ☀️🖤

‘Alright, you should know what to bring by now. We’ll be there to pick you up in 30.’ ❄️🔥

‘Your such a life saver 😭 do you like sweets by the way?’ ☀️🖤

‘Sure, what’s your address? Natsuo will eat it if I dont so what do you have?’ ❄️🔥

‘A bakery, I just sent you my location’ ☀️🖤

‘You live in a bakery? 🤔’ ❄️🔥

‘Nope, just been bored. I’ll pack so see you when you get here.💙💙💙’ ☀️🖤

‘Food?’ ❄️🔥

‘Bread???’❄️🔥

‘🍩🍩🍩??? 👀 👀’ ❄️🔥

I finished packing and grabbed my favorite pillow and went to the kitchen and packed two cakes and about two dozen different muffins, and a tin of all my cookies.

‘I’m ready.’☀️🖤

‘You live here? 🤭🤭’ ❄️🔥

‘Yeah why?’ ☀️🖤

‘Your husband doesn’t seemed to pleased....👀’ ❄️🔥

‘HE LIVES IN A MANSION MY APARTMENT IS LIKE HALF THE SIZE OF ONE OF YOUR SMALL CLOSETS. 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔’ ☀️🖤

‘Sorry 😅 just come out.’ ❄️🔥

‘I need help to bring boxes down. 😐’ ☀️🖤

‘He’s going.’ ❄️🔥

I opened the door and came face to face with Enjis chest before he knocked.

‘Enji!’ I cheered.

“Shoto said you needed help.” He said and stood there looking down at me.

“Yeah, I uh....work for a baked and I have a lot of sweets that I’m not going to eat so I asked Todoroki and he said I could take them so he and Natsuo could eat.” I smiled up at him.

“I see.” He looked past me at boxes.

“Well let’s get these down then.” He picked up the boxes with ease and took my bag still after I denied.

I followed him, my phone and wallet in hand, I looked at the building one last time before getting into the car. I sat in the back Shoto passenger and Enji driving. I smiled and scooted to the middle and watched the scenery from the middle of the windshield.

We made it to the estate and I learned Natsuo and Fuyumi wouldn’t be home till Wednesday, considering it’s Saturday I can love on my boo. I settled in the lavish guest room and then made a bee live for Enji’s office. I burst in not knocking and found him standing over his desk. I moved behind him and hugged his waist pushing my right cheek into his back.

“I missed you.” I smield and squeezed him, it had no physical effect considering the man was rock hard.

He pulled my off and turned around, I hugged him again and he took me into his chest. He was so warm, and broad. I smiled into his warmth and enjoyed the physical affection. I felt tears pricking at my eyes, I’m not alone anymore.

The next two hours I spent talking to Enji and kissing his cheeks at random times and hugging his neck and shoulders and arms. I left once he got a phone call and it sounded important. I found Todorki staring at one of the boxes I brought.

“Let’s eat!” I said and popped the box of cake open.

His aurora darkened and he held up a knife, ‘I’ve been waiting for this.’

He cut into the cake and we started to feat, we finished the cake laughing on a sugar high at the sound of Shoto’s chair making a funny sound.

I smield at Shoto and he smield back.

“I’m glad it’s you and not just some random lady who doesn’t care about anyone else but herself.” His words were weird.

“I don’t know what you mean but okay.”

“You make us happy, my dad, you spend time with me and see me as a person and friend when no one else did.”

“Stop Sho, I’ll cry.” I said now understanding.

“He’s lucky, and if he messes up he’ll lose the both of us.” He threatened before stuffing himself with more cake.

His belly now round as he slouched.

“I love you both, really, as much as I can. I really honestly do.” I smield down at the empty messy box.

“I’ll clean up, go clena your face.” I handed him a napkin and patted his head.

I cleaned up thinking about what the future could hold and wondering what it does hold for the future.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

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@daedaep69

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[voidselfshipp]

Stay.

(Ok to rb)

Octane tapped his foot on the carpet waiting for his taxi to arrive.

The rest legends left half an hour ago and he was stuck in his dads party.

This was defenetly not his style, sure he was all about getting recognized and have fans around him, but not this kind,

He hunched and crossed his arms when finally his taxi arrived,he hopped in almost immediatly and grabbed his phone.

Jerico got a text suddenly as she layed in bed,the LED lights bounced off her skin as she saw a movie, she was laughing when she saw the Text.

Her smile turned into frown.

"Can I crash at your place?"

"Yeah...what happened?"

Octane types out the answer but deletes it "ill tell you when I get there,be there in 10"

He first went to pick up some food,almost getting stopped by a fan but avoiding them by a split second.

He then went to jericos home.

A knock interrupted the tombstone silence in jeris house,jer opened the door,and there he was.

The taxi left behind them as tav only sighed--Hey...--he said.

Octavio hugged her tightly and jerico hugged back.

He enters the house closing the door behind him and locking it.

Both sit on the couch and take out the food from the bags.

Octane took his mask and Goggles off, and sighed-- I was at my dads party--he said, and proceeded to tell her everything that went down.

Jeri listened with a heavy heart, and hugged him tightly when he finished--i I hate being near my parents, I hate going to their parties..

--Youre always welcomed to stay--jer added caressing his cheek.

Tav leans into her hand and nodds kissing the palm of it as his own hand pressed against jericos.

--Can I stay a couple of days?...I just want to be away from the limelight...and live...calmly here

--yeah, its going to be fun having you around,this house May not be as big ad your mansion but--

He stopped her midsentence cupping her cheeks--its perfect...just like you...

Jer chuckles and kisses him, he kisses back resting his back on the couch.

Her arms go around his waist and he melts in her embrace resting his head on her shoulder.

And slowly they doze off.

--buen día amor.

The smell of food invaded the livingroom,jeri slowly sits on the couch with octane, who hands her a Plate of food and freshly brewed tea.

--Thought youd be drinking coffee

He shrugged and Turned on the TV--i want to calm down so coffee is off the list--he winked at her and she giggled putting her head on his shoulder.

As he flipped through the Channels a news Channel popped up talking about the party octanes dad threw,and an interview with his father came shortly after.

Jeris hand is on the remote and she switches to cartoons.

A smile instantly appears on octavios face and he eats his breakfast.

--Thanks for letting me stay--he said with his mout stuffed with food.

She laughed and kissed his cheek--of course id let you stay,you deserve some peace too you know?

He smiled softly--im so glad to have you in my life...I love you

Jer smiled--me too...

The rest of the day sure was something, filled with music and laughter.

Jeri was cleaning the house as tavi cooked lunch.

She wiped the sweat off her forehead as she finished cleaning and went to the kitchen.

Her arms go around tavs waist, he instantly melts and presses his back against her chest.

She presses soft kisses against his neck--amor im making lunch...

--you love em though

He snorts and nodds--Yeah...anyway its ready lets eat!

Both take the food to the bedroom and watch a movie.

Hearing octanes laughter made jerico happy,he had gone through some stuff and he really did deserve this.

Jeri also fought for the peace she has now, and being able to share it with him, the love of her life was everything shed hoped for.

The movie ended and so after Washing the dishes they went to sleep.

Octane moved his legs and kicked off the blankets,jeri wakes up when she feels him moving around the bed.

--Cant sleep?--She asks.

--si,i cant get my body to stay still!

Jeri chuckled at the irony and so did he--Alright lemme try something--She cleared her throat and caressed his hair--Wanna hear a story?--He nodded like a little kid and she giggled-- a long time ago, in a kingdom long forgotten was a prince, charming and fast, he was very nice and everyone loved him.

One day he scaped to see the market and be amongst commoners in disguise, his eyes fell on a young woman buying food,she was beautiful and had a voice soft as any other.

He approached her, and suddenly someone recognized him as the prince.

The prince freaked out thinking that the woman would be extra nice to him to get something from him as everyone had done in the past.

The woman however kept her tone as it was before and invited the prince to drink tea with her.

And so for the following month hed sneak out to be with his one true love.

One day while holding his hand he asked her, deep un thought"Why didnt you treat me like loyalty when we met?" He said"why do you treat me so well knowing who I am"

The woman laughed softly " i Fell in love with the Man here" she said pressing a hand to his chest"and not by what he had"

The prince then understood and she saw him beyond his status as heir to the throne,she saw him by who he was truly, and loved him for it-- octane smiled kissing her.

--something tells me its you reminding me that you love me for who I am and not a bedtime story

--Mayyyybe...

Octavio snuggled closer to her and fell asleep in her arms.

The weeks went on and on, he had been missing from his social media for months.

One morning jerico was watching the news.

"The famous apex legend Octane has been found missing in his social media for months and his fans are panicked" the reporter said.

--hey amor?--jeri asked as Octavio sat besides her--i think you should tell your fans you okay

Stuffing his face with food he looked at her--Why?

She then signaled at the TV,he read the headline and nodded--oh shit,I should tell em, you want to appear with me?pleease?

She nodded kissing his cheek.

After eating breakfast they went to change and get into semi respectable clothes,just so they wouldnt appear on their cheesy pjs with cute animals and food stamped all over it.

--Hey guys Wassup!--octane said at his phones camera--just popped Back in for a bit to tell y'all ive been alright, just went off the radar for a bit!, but oh oh you wouldnt guess where im staying at!--The camera was at a slight angle so jerico couldnt be seen.

He them moved his phone to show jerico against his chest with a smiles--thats right ive been at my partners house!, isnt she the cutest?--jer hid her face on his chest with baby Pink cheeks muttering a soft "hiii!"--anyway Guys dont worry, as soon as I feel better ill be back!, for now peace!--his hand covered the camera and he stopped recording,uploading it to all his social media and then leaving his phone on the nightstand.

They changed back into their pjs and sat on the bed ready to watch more movies and spend Time togheter

She always made him feel loved and special,and life with her was easier.

When their eyes meet the world seems softer,and now they were in their own world of comfort.

Eventually hed had to return to his life as octane, but right now he was Octavio Silva,a Man who loved being with his partner, and was happy with them.

For once he could be himself,and have someone who loved him for it

[soupncrackwrs]

Okay so I had an idea for an AFTG fic but again I’m horrible at anything that isn’t hc’s so here we are (feel free to make this into a fic if you want just credit me) *Also all pairing in this are platonic besides andreil and mattdan soo, don’t like get out*

This spawned from that fact that one of my 3 PTP’s (platonic trust pairing) in AFTG is Kev and Neil

This is probably my PTP that has the most popularity in the fandom I’d say (my other 2 are Renee/Andrew/Neil and Neil/Dan which are both *really* hard to find ((at least on ao3)) so that sucks) but you’d be surprised how little it gets like actually focused on

Most times, platonic wise, Neil gets shown bonding with The MonstersTM, Allison, or Matt

wHICH IS FINE IM TOTALLY OKAY W/ THAT

I just happen to enjoy neil/dan, kev/neil,and renee/andrew/neil more

So I wanted a fic that really showcased kev and neils relationship

BUT IM ALSO IN LOVE WITH OUSIDER POV SO THIS HAPPENED

Now onto the actual headcanon

So neil and kevin are like best friends

They've been like that for a while

but they also like fucking despise each other

like they love and care deeply for each other and would probably die for the other if the situation called for it

but will that stop them from almost killing each other 24/7?

HELL NO

so they go to college together

along with all the upperclassmen (so matt+dan+allison+renee+seth) but not the monsters

andrew and neil have been together for a bit

they met around the same time kev and neil did so they've been together for a while (also while we're talking abt relationships, i don't ship renison ((am i the only one who believes that renee is a strong aro gal who don't need no man/lady/person)) but if you wanna make this renison, go ahead)

andrew goes to a different college tho ( for some reason i dunno)

and neil doesn't really like sharing stuff abt his personal life

we all know this

but a lot of the stuff he's done in his life involves andrew

so drew is brought up a fair amount

but when the upperclassmen ask who he is neil kinda just smiles and then moves on so they ask kevin and he's like

oh andrew is like one of my bffls he's a ride or die

(obviously not phrased like that)

and the upperclassmen r like 'ok he can be trusted he's a friend'

(little do they know hehhehhe-)

sO ONE DAY

kev is tryna forget all his issues

so he decides to get hella pissed

wasted like he's never been b4

probably cause thea broke up w/ him last week but we don't talk abt that okay shhhhhhh

so he goes to the next party alli throws and

let's say it together kids

gets wasted like he's never been b4

to the point where the upperclassmen don't really know wht to do with him????

so they call up neil like yo pick up kev he's drunk off his ass like always but we think he's doing it cause he's sad this time'

so neil, being the good and sweet angel (not) that he is

goes to pick up kevin

and like he finds him on a coach almost catatonic just rambling to himself

so neil picks him up and drags him away to his car

and ofc all the upperclassmen r trying to help

so while neil is putting kevin into his car kev randomly just stops talking

(which is weird cause he's kept rambling this entire time)

and he looks neil in the eyes and goes

'i love you neil'

and neil just like takes a second

pAuSeS

because he's not used to people showing him love even tho so many ppl rlly do love him (this boy is2g-)

and then quietly says

'love you too kev'

and finishes buckling him up

all the upperclassmen have been watching this going on the entire time and they read into in the exact wrong way

(they're trying their best, my baby dumbasses, but they're just wrong)

and think this is a romantic love confession between frenimies *instead* of the declaration of mutual respect and affection between 2 bro's that it is

matt is the first one to voice this after kev and neil leave and he is

PUMPED

he is super excited that his bro has found someone to love just like he found dan and is super excited to like talk abt love and go on double dates n stuff

and every one else agrees

which is why they're all super disappointed that by the time a week goes by, nothing has changed between them

so dan matt and allison decide to do something about it (renee+seth ducking out because'it's rude to meddle' and 'why tf would i care abt jostens love bullshit')

they try to set up kevin and neil a bunch of different time s

once with the offer of a study session that they all say they can't make it to, leaving neil and kevin alone

another time with the offer of kevin and neil going to the movies w/ matt and dan

(neil ends up busy w/ a skype date with andrew that he can't pass up cause they're always so busy and he has to see his boyf so kevin just ends up 3rd wheeling matt and dan)

and once with allison straight up just telling neil that he and kevin should get coffee some time

which neil respond to with

'we already get coffee together?'

so dan matt and alli are stumped

they don't know what to do with these 'lovesick' idiots

they're problem gets solved tho don't you worry

so the next weekend, andrew is gonna come over to psu and stay for like a week

neil is oVER THE MOON

HE IS SOO HAPPYYYYY

And kevin is really happy too

so the upperclassmen take this to mean that these boys have finally gotten the hint and asked each other out

so imagine they're suprise when the next time the group goes to get lunch (which they do with each other every wednesday )

a super short blond emo joins them

and no one really acknowledges it?!?!?!?!?!?

until renee is just like 'hello andrew, how are you?' knowing smile on her face

and the upperclassmen are just like 'oh it's the famous andrew, that makes sense' but then they're like 'wait how does renee know andrew?!?!'

they ask and renee is just like 'neil gave me his discord. he thought we'd get along well'

-and then they're just like okayyy renee totally has a crush but well let it slideee

uNTIL

at the end of lunch neil is just like 'oh wait i never properly introduced him-' -cause you're a mess, junkie' -fuck off andrew' then just turns to the upperclassmen and says

'guys this is my boyfriend andrew'

and the foxes just silently freak out

because neil is in love with kevin? it's so clear? why did neil go and get a boyf when he has his love right in front of him??????

so after lunch, matt dan and alli ask to talk to neil privately

(andrew, kev,and renee all talk together while seth like, looks at his phone)

and they're like 'neil why'd you get a boyf??'

and neils like 'wdym?'

and alli says 'why'd you get a boyf if your so obviously in love w/ kevin?!'

and neil just LAUGHS at them

straight up cackles

and then the upperclassmen are like whaaaaattttt????

we saw your declaration of love at the party??

and you're both really close and seem to genuinely like and be interested in each other??

what gives????

and neils like

'me n kev are besties

that was a platonic declaration of love

also

i'm demi and me and drew have been together for like 3 years now'

and the upperclassmen are just like 'ooooooooooooooooohhhhhh sorryyyyyyyyy'

it's the first time alli has ever lost a bet (it was w/ seth abt neils feelings for kevin)

neil tells andrew abt it and the shortie just snorts and is like 'kevin would fuck a racket quicker than he'd fuck you'

neil is like 'i'm basically exy personified tho, soooooo'

drew tells him to shut up

(he does when andrew asks yes or no, just nods his head and smiles)

renee knew all along and is happy for her friends

kevin just wants to play exy he's been deprived the entire post

So yeah that's the entire headcanon. If you want some music to listen to while you write or just in general i recommend "I lost a Friend" by FINNEAS and "Corduroy Dreams" by Rex Orange County. they don't really have anything to do with the story, they're just real good :) Thanks for reading. see y'all later



[grace-is-forever]

Sleepless nights part 2

Who knew that after a few months of Jeremy staying at my house I'd start develope feeling for him. Sure, he'd be really flirtatious but thats just Jeremy.

"You know he likes you right?" Michael whispered beside me. School had just recently started back up due to the weather. So much snow! "No he doesn't. Thats just his personality." I scoffed at him. I really wish he did though.

I turned and exited the conversation slowly when i tripped and fell. "OWW!" I yelled. I landed on my knee. It didnt help that my right knee was already messed up. Now I'll be back in the stupid brace for weeks.

Time passes and its time for theater. Weird, Jeremy wasnt there. Oh well.

"Art thou gone so? love, lord, ay, husband, friend!

I must hear from thee every day in the hour,

For in a minute there are many days:

O, by this count I shall be much in years

Ere I again behold my Romeo!"

I read aloud. I know Romeo and Juliet. Typical high school play. I was cast as the role of juliet and to no surprise Jeremy was Romeo. It felt almost unnerving to be his love Interest. I went home an hour later, after staying to practice. When i got home i confonted Jeremy. "Hey, why werent you at school?" I asked. School is always boring without him. "I just needed to think, but the real question i have is why are you limping?" Confuson plastered on his face. Being completely honest i forgot about my knee sure it hurts but i didnt realize i had a limp. "i fell before history." The worst class so my pain didnt make it any better. "Youve always been extremely clumsy." He stated as got up to grab my brace off my dresser. "And to honest." He paused. "Its kinda cute. A blush apparent on his face and probably mine to. "I wish i wasnt. It'd be nice to go out without some kind of injury." He helped me put on my brace and helped me up. The familiar feeling coming back to me. We stayed at home rehearsing our lines for the rest of the day. The next day at school Jeremy stayed really close to me to watch over my knee. As the classes passed theater came and today was the iconic balcony kiss. I really wish i wasn't so nervous about it. "Dont worry Y/N, its just a kiss." I thought to myself. "With someone you really like, maybe even love." My hands started shaking and breathing became difficult. My vision stared to fade and i ran out of the room before blacking out completely. Y/N? Are you okay? I heard someone ask. Slowly everything came back into my vision. "What happened?" I asked slowly. Jeremy was infront of me and began explaing that I blacked out. I started crying after that. "Im an idiot." i said between sobs. Letting myself freak out about something that will never happen. "I'm sorry, tell everyone I'm not feeling good and that I'm going home. I gave him a goodbye hug and ran out of the building. I ran faster than i ever have. I unlocked my door and threw myself on the bed and sobbed until nightfall. Jeremy woke me up thr next morning early. "Lets get some coffee before school." I agreed to it. Got dressed, brushed my teeth, and said put on my knee brace. We got to the school and i brought jeremy to the theater so we could practice since we both got a free period.

"Romeo, Romeo, where fort art thou Romeo?

I questioned and we continued practice the kiss was about to happen and i got my self mentally prepared.

We leaned in and our lips met. It felt as electricity was flowing through us. We pulled apart and he forgot his lines after that.

"Im sorry, but I've wanted to do that ever since i met you in the park a few months ago and you let me stay with you."

I kissed him again. This one was more drawn out and more passionate. "Jeremy i've had the biggest crush on you since 7th grade. I love everything about you. One more kiss was shared then we parted was to go to class. I couldnt really focus all i could do was think of was the kiss. Yhe class passes and its time for the one of the last practices before our performance. Onve again the kiss happened and in the background i could hear Mr. Reyes awwing. "That was really good you guys. I could feel the emotions you showed. Really impressive! We thanked him and began walking home considering drama was our last class. We walked through the park that we officially met at. We sat at the swings talking. A few hours passed and it was soon getting dark. I looked down at my phone, 10:17. "I think we should head back to the house its getting late. He nodded and we began to walk back. We decided to stay up watching movies on the couch. 3 movies passed and i looked over and jeremy was asleep. So peaceful and fragile. I kissed him on the cheek before heading off to bed. As an hour past i found myself restless. Sleep was something that wasn't in my vocabulary. I got up and headed out for my normal spot. The park. Since no one was out i took is an opertunity to let some emotions out the only way i knew how to. Drawing. I grabbed my sketchbook and began drawing the surrounding areas along with a little personal touch. Two people sharing a kiss by the tree. "I knew I'd find you out here." I jumped out of my thoughts and quickly closed my book. "Oh hey Jer." I said. "You should be asleep, go back inside." I told him. "So should you." He replied back. He held out his hand which i accepted. He led me back to the house and i got in bed putting sketchbook on the dresser next to the bed, and fell asleep. Jeremy was still getting ready for bed and took a look through my journal and saw the sketch i did earlier. He was in awe of the drawing. He couldnt take it anymore. He woke me up and before i could question his lips were on mine. He kissed me with as much passion he could muster up. We pulled apart and finally spoke. "I saw the drawing. I looked, i shouldn't have but i did." I shot up immediately after. I grabbed my skethchbook and held it tight. "Not cool Jer!" I whined. "Is that the only thing you saw?" I asked giving up any secrets i had. "Yeah thats all i saw. Is there more?" He asked. I nodded and found a page at the back of the book and read it to him.

"As life progresses, I'm bound to make mistakes, to see hard times. Every low comes with a high. Somewhere in the future i'll see what I can truly be. I may be scared and a little doubtful, but in the long run I know I'll be ok.

I knew that when i met you i knew who i was. Everything was clear. I wasnt scared of anything else but losing you. I see nothing but hope now that i have you. I love you more than anything."

He hugged me right after listening to that. "Do you really feel that way." I nodded and grabbed his hands. "I always have." I leaned over and kissed him again. "Promise me you won't look through my stuff anymore?" I asked him. "I promise but you should teach me how to draw cause youre incredibly talented." I smiled at him and layed back down. "Good night Jeremy. I love you." I told him before falling asleep. "Good night Y/N, i love you too. He replied pulling me against him. He pressed one last kiss to my forehead before he fell asleep.

After a day full of confessions and love. It was anything but a sleepless night.

This is the brace I had. I don't know where I put it. Every other brace I have is horrible compared to this one.

@broke-ass-potterhead I hope you enjoy! 💙

[heirxann]

✿ + REINERIN

Another Ship Meme // VERY SELECTIVELY Accepting // @konigreich

Who is more excited for halloween?

It’s still Erin. October is 100% her month. She’s in her element all month long, preparing for her party, preparing for Samhain, preparing to celebrate her Celtic Roots. Like, literally, come October 1st she’s shifted completely into Halloween Mode. And no, Reiner cannot stop her. In fact, she’s dragging Reiner down with her. Welcome to October, Motherfucker, start carving Turnips with her.

Who gives the best gifts?

I MEAN. GIVEN REINER TRIED TO GIVE ERIN HIS WHOLE ASS CREDIT CARD AS A GIFT? Yeah. Erin is better at giving gifts. And yes, she’s still gonna have a whole panic attack over that too. Like wow Reiner… You’re trying to kill her with this kind of commitment. ( Let’s all be grateful she doesn’t ghost him. )

Who sings along to the radio the loudest?

8) I’ve been thinking about this and lbr… It’s both of them. Especially when they’re acting Like That ( YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ), they’re both in the car, screaming at the top of their lungs with the windows down, driving 90 mpg down the Autobahn together. 

Who actually finishes a book they’ve started?

They’re literate? Lmao, but for real I think it’s both of them when they actually have time. Erin is an avid reader after all. It might take them both a hot minute to complete a novel I’m sure, but give them time and they’ll finish it. ( You know they bullied one another into finishing 50 Sh.ades right? Like they did that. )

Who falls asleep during a movie?

Boooooth of them. Sometimes, you just don’t have the energy to watch a movie. Especially when you both have jobs and you’re always busy. So, sometimes, you pop in a bad movie, curl up next to each other, and doze off. The only thing that wakes them up is usually one of the cats or because they want to adjust into a more comfortable position.

Who plans a surprise getaway vacation?

REINER. He has the money after all. Also he’s probably better at planning this stuff than Erin is, considering she never really goes anywhere. So, Reiner has free range to plan whatever so long as Erin has time to actually get time off to go with him. Sure, if he asks for her input she’ll do research and suggest something, but otherwise… This is Reiner’s world and Erin is just living in it.

Who comes home with useless decorative knick knacks for the house every single day?

…….Reiner, I’m so sorry. But if she’s in Germany, she’s gonna be buying a bunch of useless knick knacks any chance she gets. But also, we all know Reiner does the same when he’s in Ireland (mostly as gifts for his family, but it still counts.) But basically, neither of them are free of sin.

Who takes more pictures?

Eriiiiiin does. She takes pictures of everything she can. Admittedly, at this point, she should buy a camera with how many pictures she takes. ( Scrapbook when? ) Though, it’s interesting how many pictures in her phone are just of Reiner actually. 

Who likes baths? Who likes showers?

I feeeeel like they’re both shower people? Who has the time for a bath? Besides, you can’t fuck in a bathtub. I’m sure they’ve tried of course. Like they’ve really tried to have sex in a bath tub

Who keeps a weekly planner?

Erin has tried and failed to keep a weekly planner. She’s more of the kind of person to wing that shit while keeping a routine at best. If anything? Reiner is the one keeping a weekly planner. We all know he’s a control freak. Keeping a weekly planner probably helps him keep his life in check.

Who actually watches the discovery channel?

THEY! WILL! WATCH! SHARK WEEK! If only because? That’s the only interesting thing on the discovery channel. But if you want something more interesting? Erin probably convinces Reiner to watch Red Rock with her, as its her favorite show right now (that has sadly ended and she’s VERY upset about it.) In return, Erin watches 4 Blocks with him and, gotta say, she’s probably more invested than he is at this point.

Who brings up having kids first?

IM GONNA FUCKING DIE LAUGHING LMFAO. UNREALISTIC AND OOC. 

Who fixes things around the house when they break?

They take turns! Erin has been fixing shit by herself her whole life. She basically renovated her whole house at one point. She knows how to fix things. BUT, she’s more than happy to let Reiner fix something. Though I feeeel like Reiner is almost more inclined to call someone to fix stuff. To which Erin just? Nah. Let her do it. She’s a DIY girl.

Who leaves their dirty towels on the floor?

Erin does because she’s messy and I’m so sorry Reiner that you have to deal with this lmfao. Mostly because she does laundry and towels like twice a week so she just…leaves it on the floor so she can pick it up when it’s time. If it bothers Reiner at all, she will happily pick it up though. But it might take her a few times to realize she uh. She should be doing her part more. :’)

Who makes the coffee in the morning?

It really just depends on who gets up first. Though, Erin doesn’t normally drink coffee (unless there’s alcohol in it.) But um? She WILL drink it if Reiner makes it for her. And she happens to drink every last drop of it. She says that it tastes better when he’s the one making it. (:

Who gets jealous over very petty things?

8) Hi. Meet Erin. Erin has never been known to get jealous until Reiner because she reaaaaally likes him. She absolutely hides it from him too because she doesn’t want her feelings of jealousy to ruin what they have. But also, she just happens to feel as if she’s never good enough for him. He could have anyone. Why would he pick her? ON THE FLIP SIDE, I’m sure sometimes Reiner does feel jealous for the same reasons as Erin does, but… Erin doesn’t… Indulge in people flirting with her once she’s with him. It’s extremely clear she only has eyes for Reiner.

Who exercises more?

Probably Reiner if anything. Erin tries, but she’s so busy and stressed half the time she just. Doesn’t have the time to genuinely work out like she should. If nothing else, they go jogging together, but that’s all Erin has time for at the moment.

Who starts listening to Christmas music in October?

I doubt either of them do, but truth be told if anyone even ATTEMPTS to put on Christmas music while Erin is in Halloween mode, she will absolutely go feral.

Who actually reads the newspaper?

…Who? Reads? A News Paper? They have phones. 

[queenmabscherzo]

DVD commentary - Targeting, Ch. 26

this is the second part of the chapter. i didn’t want to do all the post-game interviews and stuff, i mean, that is what it is. but i really like talking about the boys :’) so for the anon who requested chapter 26, here’s most of it:

Winning is a hell of a drug. And the crash? That's apocalyptic.

It starts during the trip to the hotel, the mundane reality of a bus ride that reminds Steve—it's not Hollywood, here. (obv this is a reference to big sports movies, which would end with the championship or whatever, but also any time i can make an MCU reference and like tap on the 4th wall, that’s fun.)

It all feels so big when you're standing in the middle of the stadium, in the middle of 70,000 fans and 4000-watt LEDs (i looked up “stadium lights” btw, which is one of those dumbass things that you feel like you have to research and then reread it a year later and ur like “oh ok lmao”), but when you drive away, when you watch the horizon and the dark night sky swallow that stadium right up, it doesn't feel as big anymore. It already feels like two lines of text on the NCAA Wikipedia page. (the best moments always go by too fast, don’t they, Steve) (luckily he’s got more best moments yet to come)

And now that his mind is reeling back to the dirt and the desert, all Steve can think about is Bucky's glassy eyes. He wracks his brain, running through their conversation over and over so he won't forget: something about hurting Steve, something about forgetting phone numbers, checking on Sam Wilson, (bucky rly cared a lot about sam, ngl. Protective Bucky Barnes made it a personal goal not to let freshman phenom Sam Wilson get hurt IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER)

I love you.

Steve taps his foot incessantly through the drive to the hotel. (in retrospect i should have made a parallel between this bus and the high school bus hnng) The rest of the bus rocks with three different group chants and a tuneless rendition of "We Will Rock You" that the white boys must have started. (mannnnn i remember sports buses ……. I remember in middle school one of our fav bus songs was “stacy’s mom” …)

Steve texts Bucky a simple You okay?, but doesn't expect a response and doesn't get one.

When they finally reach the hotel, Steve's internal systems are going haywire. The euphoria of victory has nosedived, but he started so high in the atmosphere it's becoming hard to breath—the imbalance of oxygen—all the meters in the cockpit spin out of control—(speaking of mcu references) he just wants to know if Bucky is okay. He just wants Bucky to be okay.

So Steve's pretty much delirious when they enter the hotel, split into groups, and go their separate ways. He drifts onto an elevator with Sam and the Bradleys. When they reach their floor, Steve turns down the hall for his room on autopilot—then stops in his tracks.

There is a man in black leaning against his doorframe. The corridor is empty except for this dark motionless figure with a duffel bag strapped to his back. Steve is suddenly very conscious of his breathing.

(in early drafts of targeting, i sent bucky to the hospital at the end of the game. Not like in a Serious way, just in a precautionary way. he just hurt his head so they might as well get it checked out, right. in the early drafts, i had steve and his teammates visit bucky IN the hospital. i considered Rumlow being there, or pierce being there. I also considered Steve punching Rumlow for being gross. But yeah. Hospital. That lasted in the drafts for a long time, actually. It’s not a bad idea, but it’s logistically hard wrt getting him out of the hospital, and like, has more serious implications than necessary. I’m all about hurt/comfort but i didnt wanna beat bucky up too bad.)(and obviously the hotel room is ……. GREAT)

A voice sounds from behind Steve: "Did Eli lock himself out again?" (AGAIN!!!) (I wanna know that story lmfao)

Steve's friends all laugh. (steve does not laugh. He knows who it is already. nerd.)

"I'm right here!" Eli protests from the back of the group.

"That's not Eli," Steve whispers, pace accelerating—heart accelerating. He breaks away from his teammates and strides down the hall, like tripping, like falling, like pointing the nose of the plane straight toward the earth. Like plummeting forward and just barely catching himself with every step. (one time i had a coach describe “running” as “falling forward and catching yourself” and idk how i feel about that metaphor in practicality but it sure works right here lmao)

The dark figure looks up as Steve approaches, but doesn't move.

Steve wraps his arms around Bucky's waist and kisses him on the lips. (we all KNEW who it was right? It’s one of those surprises u know is gonna happen but you still can’t wait to see it)

Numbness starts to creep up his limbs—probably from the buckets of adrenaline careening through his bloodstream, a fire and flood (thank u @ vance joy) every fifteen minutes since the game started. But God, his heart is so big, right now, so loud and so real. If any heart could take it, it's Steve's.

What kind of kiss.

Steve has never kissed anyone like this. A direct line to all the empty spaces in his chest.

(this is the third time they’ve kissed, now. The first time being when bucky was freaking out in his hotel room a couple weeks ago, and pretended it didnt happen. The second time was in millenium park, aka steve’s christmas present to bucky lol. And of course, a lot happened between that kiss and this one. I’d like to think they both changed, as people, even.)

(have you ever been caught off guard by an incredible kiss when you were the one giving it???? Maybe that’s just me, because i’m so casual and careless at all times. But have you ever gone in for a kiss and Meant it, but still the other person doubles down and gangs up on you somehow? That’s this kiss. That’s this kiss for steve. Steve is like, “there’s nothing left to say, i just have to show him”; and bucky is like … still kind of thinking every kiss with steve could be his last. So he gives it all he’s got. I guess. Idk if i’m describing it v well but. What kind of kiss.)

All of Bucky is so strong: (OH YEAH that’s also rly important, i cannot stress how fucking Strong bucky is and how much i love him for it) (besides the fact that he’s been through so much and survived it all …. He’s still GOOD.) (STOP im gonna cry about bucky barnes for a bit) Steve can feel it under his lips and under his fingertips, the molten resilience warm and dormant under Bucky's skin. Steve presses harder and leans closer. He can't get close enough. His hands press into Bucky's spine, and he still can't get close enough. He opens his mouth and Bucky sighs and draws him in and he still can't get close enough.

One of his teammates whistles. Steve and Bucky don't let it stop them, this time. (oh don’t worry, i did not forget about the other boys, those poor poor babies. Isaiah is probably like :o and Eli is probably grinning and like smacking his brother on the arm until it bruises. Sam is prob the one who whistled.)

Steve's body systems are all rebooting. He can't feel anything that isn't in contact with Bucky—which is fine—that's perfect, he doesn't need anything else—

Then Bucky touches him, and Steve sucks in a sharp breath through his nose. (have you ever kissed someone and just forgot they had hands until they USE THEM??) (anyway) Bucky's hands come to rest on his face, leaving fingerprints on Steve's jaw, like lavender and cirrus clouds. His hands slide behind Steve's neck, and his fingers thread through his hair. He finds the dimple at the base of Steve's skull and whimpers.

Steve has no idea what his own hands are doing. (LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!) (they on bucky’s butt!!!!!!! I’m joking, they’re WHEREVER YOU WANT THEM TO BE.) He can't focus on more than one thing, and right now, that one thing is the feel of Bucky's bottom lip under his own.

He can't get close enough. He presses in for more contact, from knees to navel to sternum. He backs Bucky into the wall, and he can feel the jolt when his fingers are trapped between Bucky's jacket and the wallpaper. (a jolt!!! He prob was a little forceful …………… *eyes emoji*)

Bucky breaks the kiss and hisses and presses both hands to Steve's chest.

Horror washes over Steve. "What's wrong?!"

Bucky grimaces. "Sorry," he pants, eyes fixed on Steve's mouth.

"What—no, don't be—what's wrong?" He steps back, but keeps his hands on Bucky's waist in case he needs—anything. Support? What's wrong?

"Sorry. It's…" Bucky swallows. His eyes flicker. Steve can see the faint green of a lingering bruise near the bridge of his nose. "Dislocated shoulder." (in early drafts, this was a collapsed lung. In retrospect, that’s prob because it might have required the hospitalization. I think the shoulder injury is more … symmetrical, tho.)

Beat.

"You—you have a dislocated shoulder?"

"Wait, you what?" That would be Eli, stepping closer, eyes wide. (athletic trainer eli!)

"Well." Bucky looks down again. "It's relocated now." (thanks buck. Thank you for that elaboration.)

"When did it happen?" Steve asks.

"That—when me and Wilson went up for that deep pass. And landed on top of each other."

(“Bucky and Sam both go up for the ball; it twirls off their fingertips; they tangle in mid-air, and they both go down hard. Steve jogs toward them, heartstrings strumming dominant chords in his bloodstream.

Sam Wilson gets up first, moving stiffly, both hands on his lower back. When Steve offers him a hand, he waves it off even while he winces. Steve glances downfield. Bucky's teammates are helping him to his feet and stuffing his shoulder pad back into his uniform.”)

Steve wracks his brain. "On the last play?"

"No," Bucky says. His eyes dart between Steve and each of his teammates. "Before. We were winning. It was a go route."

It's all kind of a blur in Steve's memory: images of Sam Wilson in deep coverage, Bucky lining up as a safety, zone reads, go routes, post routes, slant routes. He can remember Sam tumbling down on the sidelines, and something occurs to him: "Was it the fight?"

"No," Bucky answers, and Sam speaks at the same time: (<3)

"No," Sam says, staring at Bucky, a nauseated expression curling his lip. (because that play was … A LONG time ago) "No, it was in the third quarter. Right after halftime," he clarifies, and everyone knows he is right.

Steve begins to feel a strange, localized ache in the hinge of his jaw. "You played the whole second half with a dislocated shoulder?"

Bucky shrugs. And then winces. (he’s sO CUTE. and dumb. BUT CUTE.)

"Holy shit," Isaiah breathes.

"I mean, we popped it back in, first," Bucky backtracks.

"Still," Eli hisses, then leaps into action. "No wonder it hurts—Steve Rogers and the kiss of death, over here." (tbh i thought of this joke before i even decided on an injury lmfao.)(i am not funny.)

Steve opens his mouth to protest, but Eli talks over him. "Come on, come inside, I have a couple ice packs in the freezer." (ELI IS SUCH A DAD™!!!!!) Eli fumbles with the key-card and shepherds Bucky into their room. Once they're inside, he relieves him of his duffel bag—working carefully around his left shoulder—and shoves it at Sam without looking, then guides Bucky onto the end of a bed. Once he is settled, Eli turns to rummage through their mini-fridge. "Steve, grab me one of our hand-towels, yeah?" he orders.

Steve does so. When he returns from the bathroom, he stops in his tracks. Bucky is perched on the edge of Steve's bed, a little wide-eyed, but calm. Eli hovers over him, inspecting Bucky's shoulder. Sam sneaks the duffel (i only included this fucking duffel bag so bucky could sneak his Secret Documents into Steve’s room lmfao)(and so Sam could make the “overnight bag” joke tbh.) next to the TV, then catches Steve's eye and shakes his head, clearly trying not to smile.

The entire tableau punches all the air out of Steve's lungs. (same) (obv i really wanted steve’s friends to accept bucky, and i’m nothing if not Dramatic. so. Here we are)

Steve eases onto the corner of the empty bed. Eli doesn't even acknowledge him, his focus trained on Bucky. "They check you out?" he asks as he prods the left side of Bucky's back with well-trained fingers.

Bucky nods. He gazes at Eli the way you might gaze at someone who speaks to you in a different language, but nevertheless does so very earnestly. (i mean it’s safe to say bucky NEVER expected a reaction like this, not only because his own coaches/staff aren’t this nice, but also bc like, these guys are his rivals, lmao) (and he also is prob thinking about what a dick he was to Steve a week ago)

Eli tugs at the collar of Bucky's windbreaker and asks if he can remove it. Bucky lets him help without speaking and without moving his left arm much. Once the jacket is gone, Eli has better access to Bucky's torso.

"Hospital?" Eli asks.

Bucky shakes his head. (LOL)

"Broken ribs, too?"

Bucky nods. (ok ok ok . i worked very hard not to let eli fall into a trope where he just existed to “take care of bucky”. Because i wanted him to rly be the character who cared about sports medicine and … about PEOPLE. So i established it earlier, with steve, with sam, with his major, with his brother, with his kids, everything. And he really knows what he’s DOING. he sat down with bucky for like a single minute, and could tell he had loose tissue and broken ribs around the relocated shoulder. And he’s made something of himself, here, of caring about people. He’s cared about his brother for years, when no one else cared, and now he’s gonna make a living taking care of hurt athletes. I also think it … kind of fits with comics!eli, who was such a sweet bean and just wanted to be a good superhero and live up to his grandpa. I rly rly rly absurdly love eli bradley, guys.) (also contrast him with steve, who wants to take care of people but has no idea what he’s doing; isaiah, who has a good heart but isn’t good at showing it; and sam, a good friend who’s a big goof.)

"Did they scan you?" Eli goes on, and doesn't wait for an answer. "There's loose tissue, I think. Can you lift your arm?"

"Not really," Bucky says, and proceeds to lift his arm (LMAO YOU ASS). He almost makes a ninety-degree angle.

"I mean, I haven't seen the scans or nothing," Eli says, and sounds genuinely sorry for it, "But I think there's some kind of tissue damage. Maybe not torn, but ... Can't believe they didn't take you to the hospital."

"We have doctors," Bucky says dumbly.

Eli dismisses that with a wave. "Did they give you anything?"

Bucky blinks.

Eli beckons for the towel, which Steve hands over. "Any drugs?" Eli clarifies.

Bucky huffs, a small sour sound that could be laughter. "You'll have to be more specific."

Steve, Sam, Isaiah, and Eli all stare at Bucky.

Steve thinks back to the NAC Championship Game. "Pump me with enough drugs, and even I can't tell I'm injured." It could mean so many things. Even at American State, players take shots to stave off the pain long enough for a football game. Sam Wilson comes to mind, and his small doses of painkillers and muscle relaxants to alleviate the back spasms. (if you’re into that kind of thing, meaning semi-unpleasant-medical-commentary, look up “toradol shots” and “football” and some articles are more biased than others but yeah, it’s sketchy either way.)

But Bucky sounds so angry. It's the tone of voice that draws Steve's imagination to dark places.

Eli is the first to recover. He holds up the ice pack, now wrapped in a towel. "I mean anti-inflammatories," Eli explains, "or something to knock you out overnight."

Bucky accepts the ice pack. He turns it over between his hands. He looks thoughtful. He picks at a stray thread on the towel. He doesn't speak.

Sensing the toxic discomfort in the room, Steve is about to step in when Isaiah clears his throat.

"So his arm's not gonna fall off or nothing?"

Eli blinks, then ducks his head. "I mean, he said it hurt," he says sheepishly.

"You ain't have to assault him and force him to strip," Isaiah points out. (isaiah is really a big sweetheart, he just doesn’t express himself well lol.)

"I don't mind," Bucky mumbles.

Sam interrupts, then. "So what do we call you?" (and sam is ……  sam.)

Bucky and Steve both stare at him, mouths open.

"You know," Sam explains. "Do you go by … James? Or Barnes? Can I call you Bucky, or is that like a pet name? 'Property of Steve Rogers' or whatever?" Steve blushes. "Or do you prefer the Winter Soldier?"

"Anything but that."

"Bucky Bear?"

Bucky snorts. "Nice ring to it."

"But really," Sam says, smiling now. "I'm gonna hack into Steve's phone and steal your number so I can send you a ton of pictures of me with the trophy. (this is true, and definitely definitely happens.) (except the part where sam hacks into steves phone. He just gets buckys number. Hes not shy, pls.) So. What name do I save you under?"

"... Bucky's fine," he replies with a bemused half-smile.

Steve gazes at him. There is a perfect ache in his chest, like too much color bursting inside and not enough space.

"… out of it. Earth to Steve Rogers." (ISAIAH!!!!)

He snaps back to the present when he hears Isaiah speaking. "I'm—what?"

Sam cackles, which Steve thinks is pretty unfair, since it's his fault Bucky just knocked all the air out of Steve's lungs.

"Maybe we should go," Eli says gently.

"Hell yeah it's time to go," Sam says, rubbing his hands together. "We're going out, right?" He grins at Steve. (sam …… is too young to legally drink. I’m crying. i mean not that it’s hard for young people to get alcohol but he’s literally 19 and asking to go out. He’s so full of life and he’s so RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!)

Everyone in the room stares at him, shifting awkwardly.

"I don't think they're coming," Eli says.

Isaiah takes Sam by the elbow and steers him toward the door. "We can still go out."

"Wait." Sam plants his feet. "Steve, you …" (like sam’s not CLUELESS here, he just saw them make out for crying out loud. He’s just got so much energy and they just won a BIG GAME okay, it just takes him an extra second to process things. Which, i mean, is relatable.) He looks at Steve, then—looks at him—and seems to see something new; then he looks at Bucky, then Steve again, back and forth. "Oh."

"Sam—" Steve tries, but Sam interjects.

"Holy—okay, okay, I mean, he did bring an overnight bag and shit," Sam says, gesturing towards Bucky's duffel.

Bucky's face turns an impressive shade of crimson. "What." (he most certainly did not. Well, staying-overnight wasn’t the primary function of the duffel bag. He was maybe hopeful. maybe.)

"Sam—"

"I think you just took their relationship to the next level," Eli cuts in with a sly look.

Sam, on the other hand, has gone from mortified to elated in the span of about four seconds. "What's in the bag, Soldier?"

Bucky levels him with a scowl to match the nickname. "Toothbrush and a box of condoms." (LIIIIIES. There’s only like 3 condoms. And they’ve been in there for months. but still.)

Beat.

Sam is the first to laugh; Steve joins in, but it's weak because he's reeling with embarrassment. And distantly, definitely turned on.

"Right. We're leaving," Isaiah says pointedly. (poor frikin isaiah puts up with SO MUCH!!!!! His roommates are so ridiculous and horny and he never asked for this except he totally moved in with them and knew full well what he was getting into and is maybe into it, but anyway, anyway.) (housewarming didn’t come out of the blue that’s all i’m saYINg.) (isaiah’s BLUSHING.) Sam Wilson is laughing too hard to protest.

After a small commotion ("There's Advil in my bag!" Eli says, just as Sam calls, "Always use protection!"), and the hotel door latches with a heavy bang. Steve can still hear his teammates in the hallway, but they are muffled and unintelligible, and they fade away fast, leaving Steve alone with Bucky.

Neither of them speaks right away. Bucky is still sitting quietly on the end of Steve's bed, staring, unfocused, into the middle distance. Steve takes the opportunity to look at him. Properly, and all, without sticking his tongue down his throat or bashing his injured shoulder into a wall.

(fun fact: the following transition is a fucking bitch. I don’t think it’s great but i’m an awkward loser, so i was like ok, how do i get them to say i love you and fuck already? Like in a Realistic Fashion. Realistic for dumb jocks.) (rolls eyes forever)

Bucky is in black sweatpants and black Nikes with red soles. The back of his white T-shirt has a list of dates—probably a catalogue of Southeast State National Championships—while the front bears the Southeast logo: a red elk skull with wicked hooked antlers. (check out the “targeting art” tag, a couple people have drawn this and i love them for it) (what else would make a “tundra” logo”...? idk) His face looks better than it did a week ago. Just a little swollen. Steve probably wouldn't even notice if he didn't know to look. There's a string of bruises on Bucky's arm and his knuckles are tore up and there's still dirt clinging to his nails, but all that's just standard football wear-and-tear. He's got a couple days' worth of stubble, and there's a little crescent patch on his jaw where nothing grows; a small white scar from God knows where, God knows when. His lips are parted. Steve wants to kiss him again. But between the corridor and now, this moment with silence and an ice pack wrapped in a crisp white towel, it doesn't seem so easy, anymore.

"You doing okay?" Steve asks.

Bucky's eyes snap back to life and he looks at Steve. (bucky is so spacy lmao awww) (honestly bucky is a lot like me. I think of all the characters in this story, he’s the most like me.) "Yeah." Just yeah.

"You want to use that ice pack, or stick it back in the freezer?"

Bucky looks down at the bundle in his lap, like he forgot it was there. His chest rises and falls.

"Here," Steve says, and stands up slowly so he can slide onto the bed next to Bucky's bad shoulder. He gently takes the ice pack and folds it against his arm, the outside of the ball-and-socket joint, right along the seam of his sleeve. "Good?"

"I dunno," Bucky croaks. "You don't have to—I should probably go." (like seriously, second guessing wild, impulsive decisions? Assuming people don’t care as much as you care? That’s just relatable, man.)

A knot twists in Steve's stomach. He presses into the ice pack a little harder—not too hard—just enough to feel present.

"Why did you come, anyway?" Steve asks.

Bucky's eyes track to his duffel bag, (he came because he wanted to bring steve those documents that incriminate Pierce. He came because he wanted someone to validate him. To validate how bad he felt. To validate the abuse he’s gone through. To tell him he’s not imagining things. He came because he likes steve and he misses him. He came because his sex drive is wild. He came because if he stayed in his hotel room, he would lose his mind.) then back to Steve. "I wanted to say I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

Bucky squeezes his eyes shut. "I'm sorry I hit you," he mumbles. (and he came to say that, too. he’s been feeling bad about that for a long time.)

Oh.

How ridiculous, Steve thinks. What a small, silly thing, now. He's sitting here with an ice pack to Bucky's mangled shoulder, counting the bruises up Bucky's arms and his face, and that's just the ones Steve can see. He's sitting here in good health and a golden haze of victory, and Bucky is apologizing to him. How absurd. "Oh—Buck, don't worry about that."

"No, look, I'm obviously … messed up and all," Bucky launches into a stammering speech. "I'm sorry I hit you, and yelled at you, and … kissed you. (sorry about the mixed messages, to be specific) I guess. I'm—I just—I want you to know I didn't mean all those shitty things I said. And the game today, I didn't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm fine," Steve assures him. "I promise."

"Right." Bucky cracks his knuckles. He doesn't look convinced. "Anyway. I've been fucking with you for weeks now, (by “fucking with you” he means stringing steve along and then pushing him away. Toying with him. Which is how it looks, from certain points of view. It’s not how steve felt, but it certainly could be read that way.) so it's cool if you don't believe a word I say." (bucky was 100% lying in chapter 23 when he told steve “I was messing with your head” [with regards to kissing steve]. At the time, he was in a really dark, messed up place, and he was really angry with steve, and thought they would both be better off apart. They couldn’t mess each other up anymore if they were apart.)

Steve gapes at him. "Buck … You were mad. You had a right to be mad." (for the record, i PERSONALLY don’t condone bucky punching steve. But steve is more forgiving than i am, and more deeply [and unhealthily] attached to bucky)

The look in Bucky's eyes is so specific. Such a localized pain. From a distance he seems hard, and strong, towering marble, but if you look from the right angle you can see the anguish buried in the rock. The fear and sorrow in David's eyes, despite the calm repose of his limbs. (as in michelangelo’s david. I kind of get michelangelo vibes whenever i watch TWS, the scene with bucky in the bank vault.) (but i knew him.) (from the right angle, David looks very scared. And it’s the same with bucky, i feel.)

"I'm real fucked up, Steve." He sighs quietly. "I should go."

Bucky lowers his shoulder to wriggle out from under the ice pack. Steve lets it fall to the bed—instead, he grabs Bucky's knee.

"Don't go."

"I shouldn't have come. Steve ... I don't want to keep hurting you."

Steve has never been able to deny Bucky anything, but this—he read this wrong, before. (when he just let bucky go after hitting Steve) Bucky begged Steve to leave him alone, and Steve has let him go too many times. He'd thought he'd been doing what was best for Bucky. All this time, Bucky thought he was doing what was best for Steve. (isn’t that kind of the point. Of the story. Of them.)

"You won't hurt me," Steve promises. "You haven't hurt me. None of that was your fault."

"I hit you."

"You think I can't take one lousy punch?"

Bucky snorts; he doesn't smile, not quite, but he looks amused, and Steve counts it as a win. "Wasn't lousy. (BUCKY IS BIG) I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for. You were hurting too." He pauses there, feeling sober again, and he braces himself. "Bucky, can I ask you something?"

"What."

"Who gave you the black eye?"

He scoffs. "You were on the field. You saw. Wasn't it Creed's elbow?"

"Bucky," Steve scolds him gently. "I mean last week."

He ducks his head and doesn't answer.

"At my house," Steve prods. "Bucky?"

"It's not a big deal."

"Was it Rumlow?"

Bucky laughs, low and bitter.

"It was, wasn't it?" (steve has probably been thinking this ever since he saw it, considering he also overheard rumlow being an ass in bucky’s hotel room a few weeks ago)

"No. It … wasn't Rumlow."

Steve's not sure he believes him, (did you guys believe him?) but doesn't press the issue. He owes Bucky a little privacy. Just asking is what matters, for now.

Bucky looks up at him through long, long lashes; the same way he has always looked at Steve, (LIKE ON THEIR BUS IN HIGH SCHOOL) a bright blue, the hottest part of a flame.

"Quite a pair, aren't we?" Steve says through a watery smile.

"What's that mean."

(means we’re both selfless shits and we both know it. means no matter how bad we’re hurt, we both still want to take care of other people first.)

"Means I'm here for you, Buck," he says, soft and insistent. "I'm not going anywhere."

Bucky shakes his head. There might be a smile leaking through his granite mask.

Now or never.

"About what you said," Steve says carefully. He squeezes Bucky's knee and rubs small circles into his thigh. "You know, after the game?"

Bucky cringes. "Oh, god. I'm sorry about that too." (NOOOOOO--)

"Don't be sorry," Steve whispers—begs, even. Please don't be sorry. Not for that.

"I shouldn't have said anything," Bucky says. The muscle of his thigh twitches under Steve's grip. "I was caught up in the moment, you know, and it just came out, and it was totally wrong-place-wrong-time, I'm sorry."

"Did you mean it?" Steve breathes, almost inaudible, because he can feel the cracks under the surface.

Bucky covers his face with both hands. "It's—yeah, Steve, yeah I meant it. I just … shouldn't." (FUCK SPORTS AND TOXIC MASCULINITY AND HOMOPHOBIA AND FUCK IT ALL and give bucky a hug 2kforever.)

"Oh, Bucky."

When he looks at Steve again, his eyes are red. "You don't have to say it back."

"Are you kidding me?"

Bucky blinks. "Um."

"Listen to me, Buck." Steve sinks to his knees between Bucky's feet and looks up at him. It's dizzying. It makes his head ache just to think of it: all the years, all the football games, all the doodles passed back and forth in class, all the times Bucky treated Steve's injuries with ice and stupid jokes. He reaches up to take Bucky's face in both hands. "Listen to me," Steve says again. "For as long as I can remember, every single day of my life, you were the most important thing in it. The best thing. Bucky, I was in love with you before I even knew what that meant."

"Steve—"

"And then you were gone. Just gone, and I felt so … much. There was so much, and I didn't know where to put it all." Bucky is crying openly, now, his nose red and his eyes shining. "God, I don't want to feel that way ever again," Steve whispers. "So yeah, I do have to say it back." He smooths the tears from Bucky's cheeks. "I love you," he says. He says it out loud for the first time in his life as he looks into Bucky's eyes, the eyes he has known and for years, for decades, for centuries upon centuries. "I love you, Bucky."

(i practiced that love confession during my Long Commute for months before i ever published it.) (such a balancing act, making it sound like something a person would say, and also make it very very meaningful. And like ….. Adequate for these 2.)

Bucky's lips blossom for him, parting like the gentle pink petals of morning. At first, all that escapes is a sob. He blinks, hard, and tries again:

"You're a punk." (bucky’s response was not a balancing act and did not take nearly as much effort, it’s the most in-character thing i’ve ever written lmfao)

Steve grins. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. You are such a punk."

There is water gathering in the creases of Steve's palms. "Is this okay?" he asks, wiping away more tears.

"This is the worst." Bucky sucks in a breath, and then grabs both of Steve's wrists and squeezes. "Yeah it's okay."

"Okay," Steve says. He feels his own throat growing hot. They're both going to end up crying, probably. He gazes at Bucky's lips, the chapped creases and the swollen spot where he always bites down on it. Steve smiles. "I'm kind of afraid to kiss you again."

"Afraid."

"Well, yeah, Buck, it always seems to go wrong. (I MEAN HE’S GOT A POINT!) I try to break your arm, or you end up puking everywhere—" (a stranger whistles at us in millenium park--)

"Shut the fuck up," Bucky demands, and pulls Steve in for a kiss.

It is stiff at first—more overwhelmed than anything—their noses and their lips crushed together because they need it so bad. Because if they didn't kiss right now they would probably both erupt into color and flame and leave a crater behind in the Arizona desert. After a moment of desperate contact, after the reassurance that this is real, this whole night has been real, Steve relaxes. He strokes Bucky's jaw and parts his lips. (i wrote this sex scene between a dress rehearsal and a concert. A pretty major gig actually with a big symphony in a decent-sized city. I don’t LIVE in that city, so i had nothing to do between the rehearsal and the show, so i sat in a philly cheesesteak bar and wrote smut.) (i was also very anxious about the gig at the time.)

Bucky's hands are restless. They flutter like sparrows from Steve's wrists to his face and his elbows and finally, the fabric of his shirt, where they cling tight and pull him closer. He drifts back, stretches onto the mattress and pulls Steve on top of him. Not that it takes much coaxing. Steve goes hungry and willing. He wraps an arm around Bucky's waist and helps him shift farther onto the bed. Steve nudges a knee between Bucky's thighs, and that doesn't take much, either; Bucky's legs spread easily, (*eyes emoji*) and draw Steve in, and how absurd is this, now. It's phenomenal, the goosebumps that break out at the base of his spine and sweep straight to his skull.

Bucky kisses like an ocean. Writhing and fluid and breathless, pulse as natural and magnetic as the tide. He wraps Steve in white foam and surges against him. (this metaphor, for example, gives me vivid deja vu for that restaurant where i wrote it.)

Steve's left arm is trapped between Bucky and the mattress. With his right, he gropes for Bucky's hand and tangles their fingers together. Bucky's heel hooks behind his knee and he smiles, but doesn't break the kiss.

Steve grinds against Bucky's hip bone. That earns him a delicious groan.

Bucky gasps softly as he breaks the kiss. "I should probably be careful, you know," he whispers.

"You—? Oh," Steve says, scrambling up onto his elbows. "Sorry! Are you okay? Does this hurt?"

"No, not really," Bucky says, adjusting his left arm. (a resounding “yes” if i ever heard one) (he’s fine tho, he’s fine. just. you know.)

Steve can't imagine—just—at all. He just can't imagine. He can't picture hurting until it doesn't matter anymore. He wants to fix it so much. He wants to take away all of Bucky's hurt. "Is—? We can take it slow, if you want. I'm sorry. Is this—"

"Steve." Bucky spreads his fingers through Steve's hair and smiles. "I said careful, not abstinent." (if you could not tell after reading targeting, i really wanted to attack the stereotype where bucky is a wilting flower who needs to be coddled by Everyone. including but not limited to their Bedroom Activities)

He leans up to plant a soft kiss on Steve's chin.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"I'm not trying to pressure you though," Steve shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts. (but also, i mean, steve is very very very sweet and i love that about him. It’s not offensive. it’s seriously fucking sweet.) "We can stop if you want."

"Steve Rogers, so help me, if you fucking stop now, you'll—I'll—I will … I'll do something. I can't think. But I'll do something. And you won't like it." (tbh i couldn’t think of something clever to say, and you know what? that seemed like the most accurate depiction of bucky’s state of mind)

Steve couldn't argue if he wanted. "Oh yeah?"

"Fuck."

"You don't want me to stop?"

"I don't want you to stop."

(at this point, i was picturing like, bucky hasn’t actually Had Sex in awhile. Like a year, even. he’s probably made out with someone in the dark corner of a bar or maybe fooled around in a bathroom at a frat party. which, getting a half-assed hand job 2-3 times a year is nice but it’s not exactly intimate. actually, it’s not even nice. anyway. bucky might be .. even more sensitive than usual. Especially since it’s….. steve.)

Steve leans in for a kiss again, a rich slide of lips against teeth. He tugs gently at the hem of Bucky's shirt and drags his fingernails across the ridges of his stomach.

The noise Bucky makes is sunset and surf and sin. Steve kisses that sound. He slides his left hand out from under Bucky's back and into the front of his pants. (STEEEEEEVE!!!!!!! GET IT STEVE!) That's a good reaction, too: Bucky's hips jump, as if jolted by an electric current.

Steve wants to know every single one of Bucky's reactions, wants to learn every perfect way to make Bucky squirm. He fumbles with Bucky's waistband, and that is fingernails against Steve's scalp; he wraps a hand around Bucky's dick, and that is a hiss of air through teeth; he strokes once, up and down, and that is a low whine in Bucky's throat. He tightens his hold, and that is Bucky's hand slipping into Steve's pants, grasping him and caressing him in return, which—damn, you know. (YEAH DAMN!!!)

Steve trails kisses along Bucky's jaw until he finds the soft spot under his ear. Bucky's pulse speeds up, his breath speeds up, and his hand speeds up.

"Oh, God, Bucky," Steve groans.

That's all it takes. Bucky arches his back, spilling over Steve's fist, gasping for air. (bucky came SO fast in this scene lmfao i’m dyin. I still am not sure if it’s like …. TOO fast. Like unrealistically fast. Or … unkind of me. But i just. he hasn’t done this in awhile, he’s with STEVE, steve just confessed his LOVE, all the game day adrenaline--yeah i mean, at the end of the day? same, bucky. same.)

As Bucky spirals back to earth, his grip on Steve's cock tightens and his pace quickens. Steve grinds down into his hand, desperate and fevered, and it doesn't take long for him to come, too. (i mean i guess it’s been a few months for steve too……...lmao ….)

And that—God Almighty—that doesn't feel like a small thing. That feels like a great deal more than two lines of text on a Wikipedia page. (SWEETHEARTS!!!!) (they’re so corny. STEVE is so corny.)

Steve tries to catch his breath, panting hard against the hollow of Bucky's shoulder, leaving a warm, damp patch in the fabric of his shirt. Bucky twitches under him. Static currents and shallow breath. The dappled violets and whites and yellows of the sea at sunset.

Steve is careful not to crush Bucky underneath him. Even in the dense fog of sex and happiness, he is so, so conscious of Bucky's hurts. If anything, Bucky is more delicate, this way; supine and pale and fragile under the tips of Steve's fingers.

Steve traces the lines of Bucky's abs—Jesus—he would count them if he could see straight. He wipes his hand on Bucky's hip bone and asks, "You want to clean up, or anything? You're welcome to use the bathroom."

"You hinting?"

"Am I—? No, it—I just—"

Bucky is grinning, though. (if you know me at all, you know i can’t write a whole sex scene of like, ocean tides and starlight and fragile hearts or whatever. There’s gonna be a joke about a condom or like, the realistically gross follow-up. I AM WHO I AM.) His stomach shakes with laughter, and Steve gapes at him—miles of smooth skin, threads of cum shining on his stomach. It's terrific and terrifying and it's obscene. (terrific AND terrifying!!! Steve, sweetheart!!!) Steve can't even think in words.

Bucky pokes him, hard, right near the collarbone. "You want me to clean up?"

"… I don't ever want you to leave this bed again," Steve breathes. (STEVE, on the other hand, is a much bigger sap than me.)

Bucky just laughs some more.

"What are you giggling at?"

"I ain't giggling." (oh texas boy)

"Oh yeah?"

"I don't giggle."

"What do you call it?" Steve says, running a fingertip from Bucky's sternum to his bellybutton, a slow, subtle trail.

Bucky covers his eyes so all Steve can see is his smile and the way his throat bobs when he swallows.

He can't get enough. He drinks Bucky in like a drug, every detail, every little meaningless deed. The way one side of his smile is higher than the other; the fine hair on his arms; the mess on his stomach, drying and tacky and glistening in the lines that define his abs; the way his knee sways back and forth; the T-shirt bunched up under his armpits.

"I don't giggle," Bucky repeats. Then he uncovers one eye to look at Steve. The tip of his tongue peeks between his teeth. Steve wants to kiss it. He wants to kiss it all.

"Okay," he whispers. "You don't giggle." He kisses Bucky's elbow, which is the nearest thing within reach.

It must tickle, because a noise escapes Bucky's lips. A noise that is absolutely a giggle. (i don’t think he’s laughing because he’s ticklish, at least not 100%. ;) ) "Shut up," he says before Steve can even open his mouth.

"Not a word."

[thehalfworld]

Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 5]

I can’t fucking sleep. Have more of this nonsense.

Same warnings as before (rape references, some more consensual sexuality that stops shy of actual sex). There’s also a brief mention of self-harm at the very end of the chapter.

Recap: Tiaa went to the beach party, which was boring, but she did meet a few creatively-named goth girls who think she’s cool, so now she at least has friends. Also she and Edward almost had sex but didn’t because it was only chapter 4.

Chapter 1

Previous chapter

AN - can i have some reveiws pls

Here you go!

Chapter 5 - the talent contest

It was a week later and I felt like I was slowly dying inside. 

Relatable, but why?

My life had crumbled into pieces and I was alone in the horrible darkness of my mind. 

At least it’s nice and empty in there. Plenty of room to stretch out.

the four chearleaders had folowed me a round school and been mean to me for the last week making fun of my clothes and my purple streaked blond hair and saying i was too slim and that i had boobs like a pron star. 

Okay, fine, I’m going to comment on the cheerleader thing. Look… Bella being a cheerleader makes negative sense. Her main character flaw (according to Meyer, anyway) is being so clumsy she trips over flat surfaces. She doesn’t possess the coordination necessary for anything physically demanding. Also, she’s explicitly described as being nothing like a cheerleader in the first Twilight book, if memory serves.

It relay upset me. and also uncle larry had taken my clothed off and rapped me loads of times last week and even though dave and marie were back home now every time they went out to different places they left me with him and he hit me and made me sleep with was so horrible I wanted to die every time it happened.  

Don’t know why this is presented as a secondary concern to being picked on by cheerleaders.

Is there a reason Tiaa can’t tell anyone about what’s going on with Uncle Larry? Like, I can think of a lot of potential reasons why she might not be able to seek help here, but we aren’t given any reason, so it’s a mystery. Also, is she at risk of becoming pregnant, or contracting an STI, or is she being hurt badly enough to require medical attention? This guy is pretty violent and persistent, but her encounters with him are barely described at this point, so we don’t really know what’s been going down.

Which is probably a blessing.

Edward Culen stared at me whenever he saw me at school but i just anchored him and pretended he wasnt there i was so embaresed about watt had hapenned and I hated him for the way he made me feel and the fact that he was a cheater and an ass. 

Yeah, he’s like that.

I would probably have ended my life that week if it hadnt been for my lovley new freinds abbigaille rochelle and tyfanni, who were all totally cool and helped me fight off the evil chearleaders - i hadnt told my freinds aboit uncle larry and ewdard but it was nice to have some peopel who liked me anyways. 

Hold up a second. There are four cheerleaders. Counting Tiaa, there are four goth girls. So why is this portrayed as some sort of unequal battle? Both groups are the same size, and I assume Tiaa’s group has an edge because she’s a Mary Sue and the Sue always has an edge, so… why haven’t they sent the cheerleaders packing yet?

I wasn’t really picked on in high school, but I was picked on lots in middle school, and it was always about numbers. I didn’t have any good friends to back me up, so I was an easy target. If it was just one kid going after me I could hold my own just fine, but when I got ganged up on there was a problem. Having a few losers hurl insults at you when you have your own crew of losers to back you up isn’t a bullying problem because there’s no power imbalance. It’s just kids being rude to each other. It’s certainly not on par with, let alone worse than, being raped by an adult man when you’re sixteen.

I sat in the cafeteira with them at lunch

"hey tiana are you doing the talent contest tonite?" rochelle asked me

Oh boy. 

"no way im not good enough!" i said shyly

"omfg are you kidding! yor a AMAZIN singer your the best iv'e ever heard, no joke!" shouted Abigail 

So I only vaguely remember the talent show, but I’m pretty sure what happens is that Tiaa does compete, and she wins, and Edward loses his mind over it or something. I seem to remember an encounter in Edward’s car after the talent show, too, but we’ll get to that when we get to that.

"thank you but your just being nice, im' not THAT good an even if i was i wouldn't perform. I mean i hardly want to contract more attension to myself than i already have, the whole school is all ready talking about me saying watt a freak i am. I just wanna be an average person"

"come on tiaa you HAVE to do it!" tyffanie said, "jessica and bella and the chearleaders win every time with there dumb dance routine it is so annoying, they arent even talented someone needs to teach them a lesson hun!" 

"I dunno maybe" I pimpled mutely but I had no intension of actually doin it.

I feel like I’m watching a made-for-TV teen movie on Disney Channel, except this one has a lot of rape in it and also the love interest is a vampire. And the protagonist pimples mutely, whatever that means.

Later on me and my freinds sat in the crowd and wached the contest. The chearleaders did there dance ruotine and they werent that awesome, they were just wearing slutty cloths so all the guys could stare at them and cause they were popular no one was allowed to say they sucked. 

On the bright side, at least Tiaa’s competition is bad so she doesn’t have to be unrealistically amazing in order to win here. On the not-so-bright side, we all know Tiaa is going to be unrealistically amazing anyway and that Bella and her friends are being made to look bad in order to ultimately break up Edward and Bella’s relationship.

At the end bella ran into edwards arms and I felt flames of jelusy burning up inside me. they kissed for a long time and although he looked at me the whole time i still wanted to cry and scream.

I would too if a guy I didn’t know that well stared at me the entire time he was making out with his girlfriend. Fuckin’ weird.

The principal caked up on the stage and said

Hang on. He caked up?

"and now for our final act...atlantiana rebeckah loren!" everyone looked at me and I was shocked

"omfg who put my fringing name down for this!" I screamed

"who knows girl just get up there !" abbie pushed me towards the stage and I went up there.

Edward put her name down for it, right? I mean, I’m guessing from context that it wasn’t one of her friends who did, even though they all encouraged her to perform. If it was Edward, though, what did he reckon she’d do? Her friends at least have heard her sing, but as far as Edward knows Tiaa’s only talent is… looking pretty, I guess.

I sang total eclipse of the heart (punkrock verson so it wasnt sappy and lame or anythin!0 and everyone watched me. I was embarased at first but everyone semed to be enjoying themselves (exept the chearleaders who looked totally mad!LOL) so I sang louder and louder and my voice soared higher than ever was like magic. 

Or something.

I was waering a purple lacy top cut low enough that you could see my bra and a black skirt and purple fishnets and spiky black heels. 

I mean, sure, but you just criticized the cheerleaders for dressing in revealing clothes a few paragraphs ago.

the song finished and everyone looked happy and clangled at me and i went blushing to sit on my friends

They clangled? You went to sit on your friends?

"remind me to kill wichever one of you beeches put my name down for this!-" i said but i was smiling

"LOL" shouted rochelle "it wasnt us you no!”

Yep, it was Ewdard. 

"and the winner is...ATLANTIANA REBECKAH LOREN! " the principal screamed extatically. 

Is the principal okay?

I went back up onto the stage and shock his hand and everyone appladed me and screamed my name except for jessica and bella who looked like they were about to kill me, lmfao. 

What about the other two cheerleaders? Were they converted to Team Tiaa by all this?

My eyes strayed to where edward stood gazing baldly at me. I all most fainted right then at the sight of him looking so hawt and gorgeous. I dnt think anyone else had noticed but he had a MASSIVE erection it was so hawt and sexoy. 

Both of you need to calm down.

I saw bella and jessica storming out of the room angry that i had won, and I smiled.

For real, what happened to the other two cheerleaders?

Later on i walked home happily, then a car purred up beside me. It was ewdard!  

"get in the car i'll drive thee home sweet lady" he said in his beautiful old fashioned speech. I did as he told me without knowing were quiet for a minite

"you were awesome tonight, you have a stunning voice like silk and satin in the moonlight. You looked beyond beautiful up on that stage, like an old painting in a church. i wanted to charge right at u and kiss thine lips right there" 

I know the author is trolling, but I love the idea that this is what teenage girls find hot — a dude who talks in anachronistic Ye Olde English and gets boners from watching you sing. Because that’s normal.

Actually, I did read a fic once that seemed to be intended as serious erotica, and one character switched into Ye Olde English as soon as the sexy stuff began. And by “sexy stuff” I mean torturing and murdering a Yu-Gi-Oh character. No accounting for taste, I guess.

he still had a huge erection and i wanted to touch it so badly but i didnt. 

He’s driving, so probably best to leave that alone.

"i think BELLA might have had somethin to say about that!" i snapped "where is she neway?"

"at home sulking cause she lost the contest and had a total hissy fit and cryed for hours because thee was better than her in the contest"

At least someone is in character.

"how mature" I said sacastically. At that moment edward pulled his car to the side of the road and looked me in the touched my hand and I slapped him hard in the face

Seems a tad hypocritical when you were considering going for the dick-grab a minute ago.

'YOU WILL NEVER TOUCHE ME AGAIN U SICKO!" I wailed and kept hitting him in the face and chest "last week I fuckin BEGGED u to sex on me and you turned me down! I have never been so humilated in all my frickin LIFE! Watt the hell is wong with u? One mimite your all over me and the next its like i dnt even exist! dnt fuckin touch me. EVERR!"

All of this would be a perfectly reasonable gripe except that Tiaa acts the exact same way. I’ll cut them both a little slack — Tiaa for being sexually abused, Edward for internal conflict over whether or not to leave his girlfriend — but, come on, pot calling the kettle black.

"its complecated tiaa my lady. Im sorry i hurt thine feelings. Its just i cant resist thee, but i cant be with thy either. I never ment to drag thou into this mess, its not thee fault i totally ruin everything. Im so SO SORRY. IM DESPISABLE!"

Can’t argue with that. Mostly because “despisable” is not a word.

"its me or her "i said bluntly

"i cant make that choice tiaa - he wept

And I take it polyamory is off the table, because it always is.

"you are going to have to!"

"first thee have to tell me who thou relay are!" he said "who were thy parents?what are thee?"

"my mom dies when I was bored, I never new my father. Thats it." i said

"we BOTH no thats not the full story. Your a vampire, like me"

Though I’m glad that this fic at least avoids the cliché of having the Sue figure out that Edward’s a vampire way in advance, it seems odd that she’s given basically no thought to the possibility that he’s inhuman after he’s claimed to be a vampire multiple times.

-omfg i'm NOT a frickin vampire! I think id have noticed u total dipshit"

I’d think she’d have noticed too, but she seems incapable of noticing anything’s weird about Edward. The Ye Olde English doesn’t strike her as unusual? His looks aren’t odd? What about the change-color eyes? Mind reading? Really, dude isn’t very good at keeping up the human illusion, which is probably why he and his family typically keep their distance from humans. But there I go talking about canon.

"you don't drink human blood"- he asked

"i dont drink any blood u asshole. Is this ur idea of a joke, cos no ones laughing!" i got out of the car and ran away feeling insulted.i didnt want to see that stupid hawt jerk ever again! I went home. But i couldnt get rid of the memory of his sharp erection and deadly cold body. 

Oh yeah, and the temperature thing. I know some people run cold — I’m one of them — but we’re not talking 97 degrees instead of 98; dude is probably room temperature all the time, since he’s essentially dead. Tiaa doesn’t think that’s weird and inhuman?

i cut myself and went to sleep in tears.

Like a reel goff.

Next chapter

[choisgirls]

Hello!! RFAs reaction to MC who casts spells? Like lights candles and casts spells like a little witch. MC started because she found spells online and tried them out, but they actually seemed to work! Whether or not they really do is up to you haha

A/N: guys idk if youknow this but i’m actually really into witchcraft- like magick, crystals,spirituality, spells, sO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS and i just im soRRY IM SOEXCITED FOR THIS REQUEST but i toned it down a little to spare y'all ~Admin 404

*YOOSUNG:

           -He was the one to bring the idea upin the first place, actually!

           -“MC!!! I can’t rememberanything! I’ve studied this same page for the past hour or so and I can’tremember ANY of it. Uhg, why can’t there be any kind of magic to help me withthis? You know, kind of like Harry Potter? Or the magic spells in LOLOL!!”

           -Now you weren’t witch-savvy but youwere determined to find something that could help him!! Or at least make himfeel as if he’s being helped! He needed to pass this upcoming test and seeinghim suffer made you feel terrible!

           -So, thanks to the internet, youfound a sort of “Study star” spell for him! You explain it to him andhe is so!!! ready!!! to try!!

           -You light up an orange candle, ashe focuses on the light. You had him draw a seven point star, had him dab a smudgeof sage oil in the center of the star and on his forehead between his eyes. Youalso had him repeat the chant a few times.

           -You had him keep the paper in hishand the whole time he studied, and when he was done, he blew out the candle

           -Neither of you knew if it didanything but he did have to admit that he was excited to try it anyway!!

           -He came home the next day from histest extremely hyper, loud, and just all around excited puppy yoosung

           -“MC! MC! I PASSED! I PASSED ITWITH FLYING COLOURS! IT WORKED, THE SPELL-THINGY WORKED! OH MY GOD WE HAVE TODO IT EVERY SINGLE TIME”

           -He was yelling in excitement,jumping on the other half of the couch as you bounced up and down on the otherhalf due to him. You agreed to do it every time he need to study, so he couldget and keep his grades up!

*ZEN:

           -He was disappointed about notgetting the part he wanted in a play

           -And the moment he walked into yourguy’s home, you were practically hit in the face with his negative aura

           -“Oh no, nonono, step backoutside”

           -You pushed him out of the frontdoor and he stood there completely confused. Too confused to even ask what wasgoing on, or attempt to re-enter the home

           -He watched as you mixed salt andgarlic and sprinkled it along the doorsteps, the windowsills, any entry pointto the house

           -“MC what in the world are youdoing can I please come inside now?? What are your sprinklingeverywhere??”

           -You explained that you protectedthe house from negative influences, and that now he was able to enter the house

           -“I don’t want your negativeenergy up in here Zen, so I’m protecting our home. Now, come on inside and tellme what’s wrong, love”

           -HE DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE INTO THISKIND OF STUFF???? MC can you give me more protection things? Self-care? BeauTYSPELLS????

           -You just sigh every time he asksbut you do secretly draw him an herbal protection bath at least once a monthand he just thinks you buy the MOST amazing bath salts because they smell andmake him feel a m a z i n g

*JAEHEE:

           -You’ve noticed her stress lately,it’s not like she hides it well

           -And you wanted to help!! But youjust COULDN’T think of a spell to help

           -You thought of maybe combining twoof them, but suddenly you had an idea!

           -You ran up to her with a bag fullof different colour yarn, and told her the meaning of each colour. She wasthrown off and wasn’t sure why you were telling her, but she played along

           -“You have to pick oneaccording to how you feel, as in what kind of problems you’re having! Did youpick one? Oh good! Okay, the next thing you need to do is hold it taut. Gotit?”

           -She followed your directionssilently. She knew you believed in things like spells and magic and she wantedto respect you although she didn’t believe in it herself. Besides, she knowsyou’re just trying to help, and she can’t complain about that!

           -“Okay now, concentrate on allof your problems you’re having. Really visualize them as you tie knots intoyarn. Yes, just like that! You’re tying up the problems and they can’t getaway!”

           -She held it out to you when she wasdone visualizing, “Alright now what? Do we do something about visualizingthe same problems and untie the knots, as if we’re letting go of- MC where areyou going?”

           -You snatched the yarn from herwhile she talked, holding it far out in front of you as if it was evil, and youran outside. She watched as you tried to quickly dig a hole in the dirt andthrow the yarn in it, figuratively burying her problems

           -She shook her head and couldn’thelp but smile. She didn’t feel any problems go away, but she did get happierknowing you wanted to help her bad enough that you’d run outside and try to diga hole with one hand

*JUMIN:

           -He came home one day to find yourubbing some sort of liquid across your wrist, heart, and forehead. And onlythose places. He was thoroughly confused. You weren’t new to spell casting buthe’s never SEEN you do it

           -It smelt like a mix of lemon juice,mint, basil, and a few more that he couldn’t place off the top of his head

           -He asked what you were doing andyou just smiled at him, shrugging before you answered

           -“I made a spell! I boiledbasil, bay leaves, coriander, lemon juice,-” He watched you list several thingsoff but just tilted his head to the side out of confusion

           -“You…casted… a spell? Likeas in magic? And witches?”

           -“Yeah! I casted itbecause…well.. I just wanted to strengthen our relationship and make sure ourlove is there and strong at all times…”

           -You looked down at your feet,pouting a little bit, hoping you didn’t freak him out, but he kissed yourforehead instead

           -“Oh, MC, you didn’t need aspell for that. The love I have for you is immense, there’s no need toworry”

           -Which wOW you couldn’t tell if thatwas just him being honest with you or if your spell DID work. You’d have to tryanother one to see if it worked.

           -“But um, MC? What can I usedto wash this mixture off because I really dislike the taste. I probably shouldhave kissed your cheek instead.”

*SAEYOUNG:

           -Can’t tell me nerd boy hasn’t triedto recreate spells from Harry Potter or the show Charmed

           - i also believe that he’s trieda few protection spells for saeran growing up

           -But lately you’ve noticed he’s hada string of nightmares and you felt terrible! Watching him wake up completelyfreaked out broke your heart

           -You weren’t sure how to reallybring up the idea of performing a spell, so you just blurted it out

           -He just nodded and smiled towardsyou before saying, “Yeah I was thinking the same thing. Last time they gotreally bad I tired one and it seemed to help. Maybe with you doing it with me,it’ll work even better!!!!”

           - im sorry last time you whAT

           -You threw your shock out of thewindow when he pulled out the items you needed- salt, rosemary, rose petals,glass bowl, valerian, and polish moonstone

           -WheRE DID HE HAVE THESE THINGS ANDWHY DIDN’T YOU KNOW ABOUT IT

           -Helped him find a place by the bedto put the bowl where he wouldn’t accidently knock it over

           -Overall you had no real part inthis?? He did it all himself??? You weren’t NEW to witchcraft or anythingbut??? You’re just disappointed that you had nO IDEA HE WAS INTO IT

*V:

           -He travels often for hisphotography

           -But this most recent trip, therewas a little hiccup and made the trip a little dangerous

           -And you DID. NOT. LIKE. IT.

           -So you were determined to make surehe was safe every time he left the house

           -You were new to the whole magickaspect, and decided to find something on the internet and see if it would helpat all

           -(Or at least help ease your mindabout him leaving)

           -You decided to make a “SafeTravel” charm for him!!!

           -Crying a little on the inside asyou tore a bit of your red flannel shirt (MC it’s not like it fits anymore,it’ll be okay), placed some dirt, large pieces of rock salt, and one of yourfavourite silver rings into it. The moment you were done sewing it into alittle bag, you rushed to give it to him

           -He was surprised at the gift, buthis heart immediately MELTED when you told him what it was, what it’s made of,and why you made it. HONESTLY DIDN’T WANT TO LEAVE ON TRIPS AFTER THAT, howcould he worry his MC that much??

           -He swore to be 500% careful when heleft the house, and NEVER do anything to make you worry. Neither of you knew ifthe charm actually worked the way it was supposed to, but it did remind himthat he needed to take your feelings into account when he takes trips

*SAERAN:

           -He’s seen you participate in spellsand rituals before

           -He’s even read up about the magick!Mainly because he was interested in the black magick aspect before meeting you

           -Now that he’s met you, and youparticipate in the white magick, he figures what could it hurt.

           -He’s been pretty down lately, andyou felt horrible about it! The both of you knew nothing really caused it, but youstill wanted to try to help

           -He was walking into the room to askyou a question about this new movie he saw, but noticed you were sitting at thealtar you set up

           -You were sitting in front of 3yellow candles, he could smell cedar, and he watched you sprinkle some herbsaround the candles

           -He kept hearing you mutter to yourself,and he decided not to disturb you. But once you were done, he definitelyquestioned just what you were doing

           -“You were testing a happinessspell? What for? Are you not happy, MC? Is everything alright?” Heactually got REALLY worried like oh nO MY MC IS SAD???

           -“No, no! I wanted to see if itworked because… I mean, if it does work I was gonna suggest you try it.You’ve been down lately and I just want to help but I guess I should have justasked if you wanted help and I’m sor-”

           -He cut you off before you couldapologize by hugging you. He muttered a thank you before he kissed the side ofyour head. He agreed to try the spell with you, as well! that was easy,thought i’d have to fight more

[boop-bri]

Try Again

Written By: Admin Hobicat

Pairing: Yoongi X Reader (ft. Hoseok)

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Word Count: 4,751

AN: Here’s part two to Experimenting I’ve been meaning to upload. With the way I ended it I almost want to make a part three. Idk if I should though. If you guys think so let me know. The ask box is open if anyone wants to request something. I’m currently working on a Jeonghan smut 👀 lol. I can’t add a link to the first part yet 😥😥 but if you want to read it cause you haven’t just click on my page and search masterlist and the story will pop up along with my others. I need to make a masterlist eventually though lol.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So when’s the last time you’ve seen Yoongi?”

“It’s been about a month now I think. I don’t plan on seeing him again. He broke up with me so what’s done is done.”

Hoseok scoffed, rolling his eyes at my comment. Hoseok and I sat in a cafe outside of the boys dorm. It’s mostly just us hanging out, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t starting to develop very small feelings for him. Ever since Yoongi and I broke up Hoseok has been by my side trying to cheer me up any way he can.

“You know he talks about you a lot. Its obvious that he misses you. Maybe you should come by and talk to him or something.”

“Why would I talk to him? He. Broke. Up. With. Me. I’m trying to move on Hoseok. It’s for the best anyway. All we do is fight when we’re together. Why should I be with him when he continues to act like talking to me about our problems like a normal adult is too hard for him.” Hoseok frowned, taking a sip of his coffee, before nodding.

“Yeah I get that, but this could give you closure. You both obviously need to resolve some things.”

“I don’t know Hoseok. I’m not really up for talking to him right now. Especially after the last argument we had.” Every time I think about the fight my heart begins to hurt. Flashes of that moment began playing in my head as if to remind me why I needed to move on.

“What’s your deal Yoongi? Why are you bitching at me over something as stupid as me wanting to eat your ass? I thought you liked it? We haven’t even had sex in almost a week.” This was the fifth fight Yoongi and I have had since last week.

“I do like it, but you keep constantly asking. I’m not always up for it yet you still beg me. I’m not always up for sex (Y/N). Besides sorry I have things to do other than tending to your wants.” I was baffled. Yoongi has never talked to me this way before. Sure he could say some snarky things when he was in a bad mood, but this was different. He almost seemed angry towards me and not at whatever issue he had.

“Beg you?! I’ve never once begged you for shit Yoongi. I thought since you liked it so much that you’d just be up for it all the time. Excuse me for not knowing. Is it too much to want your boyfriend to pay attention to you and want you sexually? It never was a problem before so why are you making it one now? Whatever issue you have doesn’t give you an excuse to come at me like this.” Yoongi kept his back to me, continuing to work on whatever he was working on. I could feel my anger rising the more he didn’t turn around to face me. This whole ignoring me thing he seemed to be doing more often when we fought was getting old very quick.

“It felt like you were begging me for it. Look it doesn’t even matter. I’m really busy so I don’t have time for any of this. I have songs I need to finish soon. I’m just going to go to the studio and work there. I’ll see you later.” Finally Yoongi turned around to face me, a blank look on his face, before moving towards the bed to grab his jacket. Stepping in front of him I stared him straight in his eyes.

“You always do this Yoongi. When we get in a fight you just up and leave and don’t come back till the morning or stay at the dorm. I’m tired of it. If you can’t stay here and talk to me like an adult then what’s the point?” Yoongi looked past me looking annoyed at me stopping him.

“I have to finish these songs. I’ll be back later.” Yoongi walked around me on his way towards the door. All the anger I’d been feel that’s just piled up along with him just constantly blowing me off was finally too much.

“If you leave now don’t bother coming back Yoongi!” Time seemed to slow down in that moment. As I turned to face him, angry tearing filling my eyes, I hoped he would just come back and hug me. I hoped he would turn around and tell me he was sorry and say what was wrong with him. I waited what felt like forever then he finally moved, towards the door.

“I’m serious Yoongi! If you leave we’re done! I can’t keep doing this with you! All this fighting constantly only for you to leave and ignore me like I’m not even here! I’m over it!” Silence. Yoongi still kept his back to me seeming to pause for what felt like forever before he opened the door. My heart felt like it was sinking into the pit of my stomach as he walked out with his back to me, and just like that our relationship was done.

“(Y/N)? What’s wrong?” I blinked as my mind came back to the present. Hoseok had a frown on his face while his hand touched my shoulder.

“I’m fine. I actually have some stuff I need to do so I gotta go.”

“Oh, okay. You still coming over Saturday to hang out right? Yoongi is gonna be busy all day so you won’t have to worry about him showing up. You’ll be gone before he comes home. He’s been staying late at the studio a lot.” My heart hurt a little bit to hear that. He always buried himself in his work and neglects himself when something bothers him. Hoseok got up from his chair, walking with me to open the door and leaving out with me.

“Yeah I’ll be there. Thanks for hanging out with me for a little bit. See you Saturday.”

After hugging we went our separate ways. I

I couldn’t help but to glance back towards their apartment and to my shock there Yoongi stood across the street. He just stood there staring at me like he’d never seen me before. My heart began to ache the longer we looked at each other until finally he turned towards Hoseok who had made it over to him.

That having been the first time I’d seen him in so long I didn’t know how to react. Had he seen Hoseok and I hug? Would he ask Hoseok about me? Why did I even care? My heart immediately went into overdrive and I quickly made my way to my home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally it was Saturday. Just getting off of work I was beyond tired and making my way towards the boys dorm. After seeing Yoongi those few days ago I felt strangely more excited to go over to hang out with Hoseok. Maybe it was because I hoped Yoongi would show himself. Or maybe I was just excited to be around Hoseok.

“Took you long enough to get here. The pizza was getting cold.” Hoseok said as he opened the door.

“Oh shut up. There was traffic. Are you gonna move so I can come in?” Hoseok stepped to the side to let me in and once inside I immediately glanced around for any sign of Yoongi.

“So you’re sure Yoongi isn’t gonna show up, right?”

“Positive. He texted me a few minutes ago that he’s gonna be at the studio for most of the night.”

“That’s good.” I mumbled. That was a lie though. I almost felt disappointed that I wouldn’t see Yoongi.

“Where’s the rest of the boys?” I asked when I noticed how quiet it was. It was rarely ever quiet when I use to come over to see Yoongi.

“They went out to see some movie and go eat. It’s gonna be just for awhile.” Walking towards the couch I could feel this sense of longing come over me.

I hadn’t been in the dorm for awhile. It was almost weird not seeing Yoongi sitting on the couch with his headphones on waiting for me. Flopping down onto the couch, the smell of pizza filled my nose and immediately my stomach rumbled. I hadn’t eaten dinner yet since we planned on eating pizza and I was beyond starving.

“Sounds like someone is hungry. Let me go get some plates. Why don’t you find a movie on Netflix we can watch. Just don’t make it scary.” Rolling my eyes I scroll through Netflix and just to spite him I ended up picking a scary movie I had planned on watching on my own. I mostly picked it as a joke to see his reaction, but a small part of me really wanted to watch it.

“Got the plates. (Y/N)! I said no scary movies!” Hoseok pouted as he sat beside me.

“The movie probably isn’t even that scary. You’ll be fine. If you get scared just cover your face or something.” I said jokingly. Hoseok huffed and bit his lip as he looked at the screen.

“But…” I could tell he was getting a little freaked out at the thought of watching this movie. I almost changed my mind and picked​ another movie, but before I could pick the remote up Hoseok grabbed it first.

“Alright fine. I’m brave I can handle it. You’re right it probably won’t even be scary.”

“You know we dont really have to watch this. I mostly picked it to mess with you.” Hoseok shooked his head and puffed his chest out as if to show how he could handle this.

“Im a big boy (Y/N). I can handle it.” I almost wanted to laugh. We both knew he wouldnt be able to handle it. Halfway through the movie hell probably want to turn it off.

“Alright if you say so. It’ll be fine. If you get too scared I’m always here.” Hoseok nodded, grabbing some pizza and placing it on his plate. Following his lead I grab some as well then before he pressed​ play.

The movie started playing and so far Hoseok hadn’t even flinched at the cliche jump scare the movie started off with. I was starting to think he wasn't​ as scary as he claimed to be. That was about until halfway through the movie when a scare that even got me popped up. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone yell so loud. Hoseok grabbed on my arm, pulling me closer to him, till I was squished up into his side.

“You okay?” I felt the need to ask. It was my fault we were watching this movie that he would probably get nightmares from.

“I’m a little better now that you’re closer. Fuck I didn’t think the killer was gonna pop up like that.” I was a little too stunned to reply back to him considering what he’d just said. The small part of me that was beginning to develop a crush on him didn’t know how to respond so I just decided to stay quiet.

For the rest of the movie Hoseok and I sat cuddled up together, holding each other every time something scary was happening. I had completely forgotten about hoping Yoongi would show up. At some point during the movie Hoseok had grabbed the blanket behind us and placed it over us. By the time the movie had ended I was starting to feel a little sleepy and I think Hoseok could tell.

“Hey if you want you can lay on the other end of the couch and put your feet on my lap. I don’t mind. You must be tired from work.”

“I am a little tired, but I’m okay. I’ll just stay right here, if you don’t mind.” I could feel Hoseok tense beside me before he relaxed.

“I, uh, I don’t mind. Wanna put on another movie?”

“Sure. I promise I won’t pick something scary this time.” Hoseok chuckled, his chest rumbling against my ear. I felt so soft in that moment. His laugh was one of the things I liked about him. Even when he just chuckles I can’t help but smile at him.

“I appreciate that. I don’t know if I can handle another scary movie.”

For the next few hours we just sat and watched movies to pass the time. Occasionally making a game out of the movies to make them more fun. By the time the last movie finished playing it was almost ten o'clock. I was beginning to get more tired, but I was so comfortable laying against hoseok I really​ didn’t want to move to go home.

“Its getting pretty late (Y/N). Maybe you should be getting home.” He was right. It’d be smart to leave now before it became too​ late. The boys were probably on their way as well. I was just having too much fun being with Hoseok.

“You’re probably right. I have to get up a little early for work tomorrow anyways.” I sighed, sitting up away from Hoseoks side, before moving the cover off of me.

Glancing over at him I was a little surprised to see him staring at me with this look on his face that made my chest tighten. Hoseok smiled at me, handing me my phone off the table and my chest tightened some more once our hands brushed together. Hoseok was always attractive to me yet I only ever considered him like a friend. Especially when I was dating Yoongi.

“I guess I’ll be going now.” My voice came out almost like a whisper as we stared at each other.

“That’d be the best thing. Its getting late after all.” I nodded, but didn’t make any signs of moving. Neither did Hoseok.

He actually began moving closer, his hand that was on top of mine moving up my arm. Hoseok had moved so close now. So close all I had to do was lean forward just a little and our lips would touch. His hand was now resting against my cheek, warming my skin. I felt like I was floating. This moment didn’t seem real, but I almost didn’t want it to end. There was a nagging voice in the back of my mind that I couldn’t make out.

“(Y/N).” Hoseok whispered softly. My body shivered as his thumb stroked my cheek.

“Hoseok I-”

“Do you want me to stop?” His face moved closer, our noses touching at this point.

A part of me wanted to tell him to stop. That this wasn’t right. He was Yoongi’s friend as well as mine and we had only been broken up for a few months. Yet another part of me that had an attraction towards hoseok wanted to keep going. To see what it’d be like to kiss him. I shook my head, not having a voice to tell him not to stop. Hoseoks eyes seemed to light up just before our lips touched. Instantly I felt tingles as our lips moved against each other in sync.

Hoseoks lips are so soft, a lot softer than I thought they’d be. Sliding my hands up his back I grabbed onto the back of his hair, licking his bottom lip for entrance and he let me in without a fight. Our tongues pressed together, softly stroking each other, as I moved to straddle Hoseok. Things were starting to get heated the longer we kissed. Hoseoks hands were stroking my sides under my shirt and I hadn’t even noticed I’d started lightly grinding against him until he let out a soft moan.

“What the fuck!” My body froze at the sound of the door slamming closed and the familiar voice yelling at us. I quickly got off of Hoseok. My heart was racing a mile a minute.

“Yoongi! I thought you were staying at the studio?” Hoseok stood up from the couch, running a hand through his hair, as he looked everywhere but at Yoongi who was fuming by the front door.

I couldn’t help but to stare at him. He looked skinnier than the last time I saw him like he hadn’t been eating that much and if the dark bags under his eyes were anything to go by he hasn’t been sleeping that much either. Why did my heart hurt to see him so drained.

“I was, but I felt tired so I decided to come home. It’s a good thing I did too.” The earlier anger in his voice was now gone and replaced with the indifferent tone he would use when we fought.

“Look, Yoongi, it’s not what you think.” Hoseok said making Yoongi scoff.

“Well what I think is that my ex and one of my best friends are hooking up behind my back. Is that not true?” I still hadn’t gained the courage to speak up. I hadn’t seen him in so long and for this to be the way we see each other again was not how I wanted it to happen.

“We’re not hooking up behind your back.”

“Sure looks like it to me. Look you know what I don’t care. You two do whatever the fuck you want. I’m going back to the studio.” Yoongi glanced over at me and I don’t know if it was the sad look in his eyes​ or the fact that he was leaving, but I suddenly felt like I had to speak up.

“Yoongi wait!” Yoongi stopped, his hand just about to reach for the door and stood there.

“What do you want?” I flinched at the cold tone in his voice.

“We need to talk.”

“Too bad I don’t want to talk to you.” Yoongi opened the door, preparing to walk out again, but stopped last minute.

“Fuck it. Fine you want to talk, let’s talk.” I don’t think I’d ever seen Yoongi move as fast as he just did to walk over to me and grab my arm. He pulled me out of the living room towards his and Jimins room.

“Wait slow down Yoongi.” Yoongi threw the door open, pulling me inside then slamming it behind him.

“You want to talk. So talk.” He walked away from the door with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. Everything that I had wanted to say to him. Everything that I had kept bottled up inside of me for so long suddenly just vanished now that we were alone in the room.

“Don’t you have something to say? Aren’t you going to try to justify why you were about to sleep with my friend? Aren’t you going to fucking say something?”

“I wasn’t going to sleep with Hoseok.” I said softly.

“I doubt it. If I hadn’t have walked in when I did would you have stopped him?” I thought it over in my mind and realized that yes I would have stopped him.

“I would have. I never intended for it to go that far. I never intended to even kiss him. It just happened. Besides we’re not together Yoongi. I can do whatever I want.”

“You’re right. You can do whatever you want, but why with my friend?” Yoongi took a few steps towards me as he talked.

“I told you already it just happened! He’s my friend too!” I took a few steps towards him as well.

“You two sure look like more than friends to me. Why don’t you just admit that you like him. Probably have since we we’re together. I saw the way you two would look at each other. How long have you two been fucking each other? While we were together? Since we broke up?” I froze. I couldn’t believe he had just said that. Just accused me of fucking Hoseok while we were together. Is that what he thought of me?

“So that’s what you think of me? You think I’m some slut that would cheat on her boyfriend? You really must not know me then Yoongi. Is this why you would act like such an asshole to me? I can’t believe you. You’re such an asshole I can’t believe I was ever with you. You can go fuck yourself Yoongi. I’m leaving.” Turning around to make my way towards the door I didn’t even get halfway there before he was stopping me.

His hand wrapped around my arm, pulling me until my back was pressed against his chest. I just stood there not knowing what to do or how to react. I was angry at him, so angry, but I was sad too. Sad that we had gotten to this point. We use to be so happy together and now all we do is argue.

“I’m sorry (Y/N). I didn’t mean that. I’m just angry and hurt. I’m sorry. I don’t think you and Hoseok had anything going on. That wasn’t  the reason I was such a dick to you.” A part of me knew that he hadn’t meant to accuse me like that, but that didn’t make the hurt go away.

“Then what was it? Why do we always fight so much Yoongi? What happened to us?” Yoongi didn’t answer me. He just wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his forehead against the back of my head.

“It’s my fault. I’ve never been good at expressing my feelings and every time you wanted to talk all I’d do is push you away. Im just so stressed. Between making songs pretty much all day, practice and the tour we’re about to go on I’ve just felt swamped. That doesn’t make how I acted right. I should have just talked to you about things. I’m sorry.”

“Do you even love me Yoongi?” Yoongi tightened his arms around me more.

“Of course I love you.”

“It doesn’t feel like you do.” I said as I moved away from him. I turned to face Yoongi, tears filling my eyes as I looked at him. I was so tired of the constant fighting between us. Yoongi didn’t answer, just looked down to avoid my eyes.

“Why do we even bother trying? We’re not good for each other Yoongi. If this is all we do then we don’t need to be together and make each other miserable. If we can’t even talk to each other about our problems why bother.” Yoongi’s head snapped up to look at me and there was a fire in his eyes.

“I love you (Y/N). I’ve barely been able to sleep since we’ve broken up. I’ve hardly been eating. All I do is think about you. I’ve written so many songs about you since I can never get you off my mind. You have no idea how much I fucking miss you all the time. Every day I hate myself more and more for fucking up and walking out on you. Every day I regret it and I’ve been thinking constantly about how to win you back. I know I hurt you and ruined us, but trust me when I say I won’t make the same mistake again. ” Every word he spoke pulled at my heart while my mind screamed to just leave.

“I miss you too Yoongi. I miss you so much I would cry myself to sleep at night. We may have our good times when we were together, but there’s been more bad than good. Being with you is just so hard. If you’re not making music all the time then you’re gone halfway across the world or busy. I dealt with it cause I love you, yes I still love you, but I don’t know if I can do it again. Not if all we’re going to do is argue over stupid things. Not if you can’t talk to me.” Yoongi shook his head, his hands grabbing ahold of mine.

“This time will be different I promise. I won’t just walk away and shut you out anymore. There’s nothing I can do about being busy, that just comes with being an idol, but I promise to try my hardest to make time for you. Please give me another chance. I don’t want to lose you again​.” I could tell Yoongi meant every word he said, but the hurt I still felt made me hesitate to try again. Then there’s the fact that I do have some feelings for Hoseok. The feelings may be small, but they’re there.

“How do I know that though? How do I know that you won’t push me away anymore? Communication is a big part of being in a relationship Yoongi. You have to talk to me when you’re stressed. When you’re upset about something you have to talk to me and not pick stupid fights over small things. I don’t want to do this with you again only for us to end up back like this.”

“I understand (Y/N). Of course we’re going to fight. Every couple fights that’s normal, but we’ll have more good times than bad times. I’m sure of it. You mean the world to me and when I left it felt like my world crumbled​. Please just give me one more chance. I won’t fuck up this time.” That was the final thing I needed to hear from him to make all the doubt I had go away. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my heart. It would take some time for us to be the same in our relationship, but I was willing to give it another shot. My love for him was strong enough to try again.

“You know I really love you Yoongi. It’s going to take some time for us to get back to the way we use to be, but since you’re so willing to try so will I.” I could feel a smile make its way across my face as Yoongi pulled me into his arms, hugging me tightly to him. Happiness began swirling up inside of me the longer we hugged. I had really missed him. I missed hugging him and just being with him. Even with what happened with Hoseok earlier I knew being with Yoongi was what I wanted more.

“But what about Hoseok? You two kissed. Do you like him as more than a friend? I know he has some feelings for you whether he’ll admit it or not.”

“I’d be lying to you if I said I didn’t have a small crush on him, but it mostly came from how nice he was being to me while I felt hurt. He was there for me Yoongi. The kiss was nice, but it honestly doesn’t mean much to me I promise. It really just happened and it went too far even though I did like it. I’ll have to talk to Hoseok though.  I need to make sure we’re going to still be friends after that.” Yoongi pulled away from me with a frown on his face.

“Did you like his kiss better than mine?”

“You want the truth?” Yoongi nodded his head, his body tensing up, as if he was waiting for the blow to his ego.

“Hoseok is a great kisser to be honest but there was no spark between us when we kissed. Though when I kiss you Yoongi I always feel like my heart’s going to burst with emotion. So I’d say your kiss is better.” I almost wanted to laugh at the satisfied look on his face. Even though I’d just lied about not really feeling anything in the kiss I knew it was for the best.

“I love you Yoongi. Don’t hurt me again.”

“I promise I won’t hurt you. I love you (Y/N).” Yoongi pulled me into another hug and I felt beyond happy. Yoongi’s hand softly stroked my face, his thumb rubbing against my lip.

“Are you going to kiss me already?” I asked. He smirked and shrugged as if to tease me.

“I don’t know. I think you’ve done enough kissing for one day. Don’t you think so?”

“Oh shut up Yoongi.” I said with a smile on my face as I pulled him towards me for a kiss. Just like I expected I felt nothing but sparks while butterflies filled my stomach. This was the right choice I could feel it in my gut. I just hoped things would be okay between Hoseok and I.

[nepenthendline]

Kpop tag game

Tagged by @edenalieth :)

10 groups/artists you like besides Kpop/liked before Kpop ? Used to be 1D trash, Little Mix, Ariana Grande, Ella Eyre, Hailee Steinfeld, Pentatonix, Selena Gomez, Troye Sivan, Fall Out Boy and Nicki Minaj

10 favorite non-kpop songs ? *currently*

(this is gonna be a lot from the same artists lol)

Little Mix: Salute, Power, Touch and Freak, Ariana Grande: Into You and Forever Boy, Justin Bieber: Love Yourself, Hailee Steinfeld: Rock Bottom and tbh I can’t think of another 2 lol

10 favorite movies ?

I don’t watch movies often so I’m not sure...

10 favorite tv shows, including anime & cartoons

Haikyuu, The Librarians, Yuri On Ice, Kuroko no Basuke, Toddlers and Tiaras fight me, 90 Day Fiancé, Noragami, Death Note, Ouran Highschool Host Club and No. 6

10 favorite manga/comics

The only mangas I’ve read all/the majority of are Haikyuu, Ouran and Death note

10 things you enjoyed before kpop/enjoy besides kpop, that won’t fit in the lists above ?

taking photos, fashion, makeup, interior decor stuff, writing, looking at fanart/fiction, hanging with friends, funny videos, walking and food

Another Tag Game

Nickname: Coco is the main one and butterfly by one friend

Starsign: Leo

Height: 165cm

Time right now: 11:09pm

Last thing googled: Southeastern exucse dice (uk train memes ;))

Favorite music artists: top faves are: BTS, Little Mix and Ariana Grande

Song stuck in your head: I always have blood, sweat and tears stuck in my head ok (apart from yesterday it was breaking free from hsm...)

Last movie watched: I actually don’t remember oh no

Last TV show watched: The Librarians

What are you wearing right now: oversided black top, black leggings and black trainers so colourful

When did you create your blog: I think like 4 years ago just before summer

What kind of stuff do you post: Mostly BTS or anime with some shitposts and Little Mix

Do you have any other blogs: I had a fashion one that I never used

Do you get asks regularly: as if

Why did you choose your URL: nevermind was taken (I love that song) and I love yoongi so min-nevermind

Gender: Female

Hogwarts house: I did it a couple years ago and got Slytherin so I re-took it and got Ravenclaw lmao

Pokemon team: Psychic (on pokemon go im team valor)

Favourite colour: Grey, blue, white and black

Average hours of sleep: ah.....like 2-4 hours

Lucky number: Don’t have one

Favorite character(s): Aomine Daiki, Tsukishima Kei, Ezekiel Jones, Ootori Kyoya

How many blankets do you sleep with: 1 duvet

Dream job: Something in fashion so styling, media journalism stuff like that

Following: People I’m following? Mainly kpop blogs

BTS Would You Rather

Would you rather:

Build a snowman with V OR have a snowball fight with jhope

Get coffee with suga OR get ice cream with suga

go to the cinema with jimin OR the amusement park with jungkook

do a dance cover with jhope OR sing a duet with jin

kiss rap monster OR cuddle suga

babysit with jimin OR dogsit with v 

meet jhope’s family OR have v meet your family

film a commercial with jhope OR film a sketch with V

hug jimin OR hold hands with jungkook (both pls...)

go to paris with jin OR go to London with suga

film a drama with jin OR do a photo shoot with rap monster

attend an award show with rap monster OR wear couple tshirt at the airport with jungkook

spend a lazy day with suga OR explore the city with jhope (how about city with suga ;))

fall asleep next to jimin OR wake up next to jungkook

make up a silly rap with v OR a silly choreography with jin

have jungkook serenade you OR v sing you to sleep (serenades seem kinda awkward ngl)

have a dance party with jhope OR sing karaoke with suga 

go camping with jimin and v OR go to the beach with rap monster and suga

cook with jin OR bake a cake with jimin

have a sleepover with the hyung line OR a birthday party with the maknae line

celebrate halloween with  jungkook, suga, v and jhope OR Christmas rap monster, jimin and jhope

~NSFW Time~ *SOS* i really hope no one I know sees this ok

Would you rather:

dom jhope OR sub jin

wear lingerie for rap monster OR put lingerie on jimin

tie up jungkook OR get tied up by v (y’all...)

pull suga’s hair OR get your hair pulled by rap monster

have shower sex with jimin OR have sex pool with v

perform oral on jungkook OR have jhope go down on you (i feel like im gonna be picking both for everything ok)

have a romantic sex with jin OR rough sex with jimin

have angry sex with v OR make up sex with suga

suck hickeys onto jungkook’s neck OR get hickeys from v

put a blindfold on jimin OR get blindfolded by rap monster

have phone sex with rap monster OR Skype sex with jhope

ride jimin’s thigh OR ride jungkook’s thigh

have jin call you “kitten” OR rap monster call you “babygirl”

wear a collar for jin OR put a collar on jimin

beg for suga OR make jungkook beg for you

have sex backstage with jhope OR in the kitchen with jin

get teased under the table at a dinner by rap monster OR tease jimin

play never have i ever with rap monster, suga and jungkook (although I don’t drink so...)OR strip poker with jhope, jimin, v and jin

do body shots with rap monster, suga and jin OR get lap dances from jhope, jimin, jungkook and v

Pick A Member | BTS

Rules: Pick ONE of the members listed for each question and explain why! Be honest ad don’t just pick your favourite for every answer. Do not choose a memeber who is not listed and try to answer every question.

1. Amusement park date ? Jin/Taehyung/Jimin

• He’s the loudest and most crazy so I think it would be more fun with him. If I’m around energetic people I get energetic too

2. Spend a lazy afternoon with ? Jin/Jungkook/Yoongi

• Would be pretty chill, some banter, music and sleeping prob

3.Play 1v1 sports with ? Jimin/Hoseok/Taehyung

• I wouldn’t want to take it seriously lmao J-hope gonna have my back when I fuck up

4.Make out session with ? Yoongi/Jungkook/Jimin

• my boi suga

5.Cheek kisses ? Jin/Hoseok/Jimin

• He’s so cute who wouldn’t?

6.Do a YouTube boyfriend does your make up tag with ? Hoseok/Taehyung/Namjoon

• Like he’d probably try really hard yet also probably poke my eye out but it would be funny lol

7.Introduce to your parents ? Jimin/Jungkook/Taehyung

• Although my mum loves Jungkook the most, Jimin is so cute and I wanna see how he would act in that situation lol I bet he’s so polite

8.Go to a haunted house with ? Yoongi/Namjoon/Hoseok

• I don’t get scared easily so I want someone to laugh at lmao it would be entertaining ok

9.Drunk nights with ? Hoseok/Jimin/Jin

• Just gonna say none bc I don’t drink

10.Who would you want to see do aegyo for a whole day as a punishment ? Namjoon/Yoongi/Jungkook

• I would die it would be hilarious

11.Who would help you pick out outfits ? Taehyung/Namjoon/Yoongi

• I really like Yoongi’s style so he would do great. I’d pick Namjoon but like I might end up in some weird shit 

12.School dance date ? Jin/Namjoon/Hoseok

• He would take it the least seriously/least awkward out of the other two lmao I’d rather have a laugh than take it seriously lol

13.Sing a duet with ? Taehyung/Jimin/Jungkook

• I think our voices would suit best and his voice is some good shit

14.Would make you breakfast in bed ? Yoongi/Jin/Jungkook

• Ok but like imagine Jin bringing you breakfast...a great thought

15.Go on a late night adventure with ? Jungkook/Taehyung/Namjoon

• I was gonna say Tae but we’d probably end up in a ditch somewhere and I see Jungkook liking walking around at 2am instead of some crazy stuff 

16. First time ? Taehyung/Jimin/Yoongi

• again, my boi I can’t say anyone else lol

17. Whose clothes you’d steal and wear ? Jin/Taehyung/Hoseok

•  He wears a lot of oversized clothes and I love that 10/10

18.Late deep night conversations with ? Namjoon/Yoongi/Jungkook

• I think we have quite similar personalities/thoughts so I would wanna know whats going on inside his head

19. Who’d you have a play water fight with ? Jimin/Hoseok/Taehyung

• It would just be so fun and careless lol I love his energy

20.Who would you say you’re most compatible with ? (Choose any of the 7 members but remember, favoristism and compatibility are two different things).

• Everyone I know who knows about bts say I’m very similar to Yoongi and I think we tend to get along with people who are like us in some way bc we understand eachother

Bias Tag

Rules: pick 10 biases and answer the questions. No specific order.

(trying to think of those outside of bts lol)

1.Yoongi

2.Jimin

3.Jeonghan

4.Suho

5.Moonbyul

6.Jin

7.Jungkook

8.Jiyoon

9.Taehyung

10.Jeongyeon

1. Between 3&6, whose most recent concept do you like more?

• BTS - BS&T

2. Between 2&10, who would you rather be stranded on an island with ?

• Jeongyeon -  as much as I love Jimin more I feel like he’d probably have a breakdown or something

3.Between 4&8, who would you trust to take care of you when you were drunk ?

• Suho.... why do I think he’d act like a dad...I don’t know...

4.Between 1&2, who would you go in jail for ?

• Jimin

5.Between 5&9, who is a better visual to you ?

• Both...

6.Between 7&8, who would you rather save from a sinking ship ?

•  I can’t... Jungkook...? 

7.Between 6&10, who would you rather have a movie marathon with ?

• Jeongyeon Idk why lmao

8.Between 1&10, who do you think makes a better impression ?

• Jeongyeon, I know a lot of people don’t think Yoongi gives off the better.

9.Between 3&7, who would you prefer to kiss in the rain ?

• Jungkook

10.Between 5&6, who would you rather have a summer fling with ?

• Jinnnn

11.Between 5&7, who would you rather do drugs with ?

• Neither lmao

12.Between 3&8, who would you rather take home to your parents ?

• Jeonghan 

13.Between 9&10, whose wardrobe do you want more ?

• Taehying! I love his style

14.Between 4&10, who would you be more surprised to see cry ?

• Suho

15.Between 1&4, who would you rather have kiss you on the forehead ?

• Yoongi!!!

16.Between 2&3, who would you rather have hug from behind ?

• Jimin

17.Between 5&2, whose group do you stan more ?

• BTS

18.Between 4&9, who is higher up on your bias list ?

• Taehyung

19.Between 1&7, who would you open your door up to during the purge ?

• I’d trust both a lot however I feel like Jungkook is less likely to like...go insane or something lmao

20. Between 6&9, who would you rather go to a haunted house with ?

• Tae - I was gonna say Jin but Tae would probably just scream then laugh at everything lol

I tag : @jeonify, @aykook, @seokgenie and @yoongiied (feel free to do it or not)