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#bible verses to lose weight
sheetpin8 · 2 years
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The smart Trick of 7 Inspiring Bible Verses About Weight Loss For Your Weight That Nobody is Talking About
Use this supreme manual to Bible verses for your weight loss journey for Bibles on emotional eating, appeal, appetite, & even more! *Please keep in mind: Some recipes for glucose and carbs are not entirely evaluated on creatures; for breeder, observe 'Cholesterol and Sugar in Food', in 'Food Choices on Carbohydrates and Healthful Eating', and in 'Tips to Decide on A Healthy Carb. When individuals talk to me regarding how I shed 100 pounds, they are practically consistently anticipating me to answer along with some magic diet regimen or workout plan. It is simply a scenario of making use of my wellness, creative thinking and energy to generate a well-balanced and balanced diet plan. Some sportsmens might inquire me how can I discover a means to shed 100 pounds, yet carry on to be ripped. This is an additional means to view the body weight reduction difficulty as an anomaly. It is one of those items that is normally forgotten. The fact is, one of the most powerful things that aided me shed weight and always keep it off is Bible verses! Right now that I have ended up being more confident, I require to know additional about the Bible in general. Here are the two most crucial Bible-related inquiries I really wanted to inquire. There is actually one. Why does the Bible claim this? Is it wrong to consume creature hides when the Sabbath is being noticed? Permit’s face it – losing weight is hard. In simple fact, a new research study presents that after getting surgery, folks of all sex identities are about the very same weight. The research study, carried out on 12,000 guys and women with an internet survey, found that 40% of guys and 36% of women looked at eating much less fat when taking into consideration body weight cuts after they came off their surgical procedure. The women were in fact larger on average, with men taking a lot less opportunity to reduced down. It’s often a a lot slower method than you wish it to be, and it’s so simple to get dissuaded, disheartened, and strongly believe that it’s merely not worth all the work when you don’t view the development that you experience like you should. It's like individuals yearn for to obtain abundant as promptly as achievable by receiving their organization out coming from under them, so if you cease them you lose them for lifestyle. The excellent updates is, that you don’t have to merely give in to the frustration (the Bible shows you how to possess stamina when you experience like offering up). It's like providing up because you loathe yourself for taking (some or all) of yourself. It's like providing up because you need to have motivation for self-improvement. You feel the demand to use these tools to control your actions located on simply a handful of basic rules.
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You possess all the tools you need to have to deal with back and the finest device of all is the double-edged falchion of God’s Word . For you, we recognize He creates the Word of God a tool: a kind of divinely formed paper that serves as a source to us all for working along with problems and troubles and for our spiritual recuperation and gratification. This is something we may not anticipate of a scriptural document—and he talks for it as properly. How To Make use of Bible Verses In Your Weight Loss I understand how effortless it is to skim by means of messages like this and respond at their truths…at that point click away coming from the web page and overlook all about them. I've read through several publications which help you to reviewed and comprehend Bible knowledgeables much better (some by Jesus) and they additionally aid you to construct a terrific attitude regarding God's passion and grace, which he carries to his household and good friends and to himself. If you wish these knowledgeables to really impact your life, I would extremely motivate you to select the ones that reverberate most along with you and remember them. I would advise reading it properly because you may read it and presume differently concerning it. More Details believe the trick listed below is to help make your ideas and observations matter and not obtain them to be a part of your identity that are going to come to be part of the narrative that you later on bring by means of after you've carried out your research. write the Scriptures on notecards make use of a completely dry erase pen to write the Bible verses on your washroom mirror create the knowledgeable the lock display on your phone go through Much less of Me: A 30-Day Weight Loss Devotional for more faith-focused reassurance from my very own 100-pound weight loss quest inquire God how these Bible administer to your life straight now journal your notions and feelings as you reviewed through each verse and how they apply to your weight reduction experience That technique, when those damaging thoughts rush in ( like when you tip on the range and see that you acquired a stinkin’ extra pound instead of dropping after you functioned so hard!
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thatcutesysatanist · 10 months
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i’m trying to do the infamous last minute before school weight loss thing lol. i’m trying to drop down from a XL to a large before school but i’m not sure if it’s all that possible (o~o * )
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memoriesndew · 3 months
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So I have this project I like to call
— TOWARDS EASTER CAMP OUT
it's certain goals I would like to achieve before Easter campout, which will be the only thing I'll be very focused on during this "be self-centered" month I plan to work on certain goals and hope to see satisfactory results by the end of the month, I also have habits under those goals I will try and do everyday
the goals are as follows
— lose weight
no pateries
no eating after 8pm
minimise sugar intake
workout everyday (with sunday as rest day)
no excessive snacking
sleep at 11pm (helps wake up earlier for workout)
— study for recitation competition
study 10 verses every morning
revise those 10 verses in the evening
blurt what revised before studying new verses
— have better skin
skincare routine (morning and night) everyday
drink 2l of water
use rice water
— catch up with bible study
read 20 chapters every day (divide by 5 in certain parts of the day)
— Pester's parents to fix the screen guard (yh it's bad, my screen guard)
ask mum
ask dad
These are my goals and my habits I will try to keep to this month
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howtobecomeadragon · 2 years
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Mike, internalized homophobia, and religion in s4: there's not a lot there, it's really all concentrated in 4.01, 4.06, and 4.09, but I just wanted to do a quick analysis of what we're shown.
Mike is himself in 4.01: snarky, nerdy, and checking out guys (more analysis on that here). D&D is connected to the ideas of Satanic Cults and sodomy. But Mike doesn't care about those implications, he loves D&D and is prioritizing what Will criticized him for neglecting in s3.
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The Hellfire Club has an anti-religious name: "hell fire," and has a big devil on the shirt that Mike wears proudly. He's rejecting conformity and embracing what makes him different.
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In ep 4.02-4.05, Mike has a big ebb and flow: he moves away from himself while with El but returns to himself when he makes up with Will (smiles genuinely, unclenches his jaw for once, is honest about his feelings about losing Will, checks him out in the desert, and nods when Will posits the question: "what if they don't like the truth?").
Jason gets religious in 4.06:
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D&D - sodomy - Satanic Cults - disease - AIDS?
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Religion is being used to attack our characters in Hawkins but also in Salt Lake City in the very next scene at Suzie's house.
I went a lot more into theorizing about Suzie's house here. Long story short, Mike feels the pressure of changing himself in this house of a very religious family. Eden interrupts them talking to Suzie and we get this scene:
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Eden talks about "hell fire" and Mike's reaction: he's stiff, defensive, and almost afraid, looking after Eden a beat too long. And then Suzie describes how angry her dad got about her dating the wrong kind of person according to his religion, and again we see Mike's reaction:
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He looks directly down and looks miserable! Arms still crossed, defensive, but like he's feeling the weight of her words.
In the sequence of distractions for Suzie's dad, there's a fire in the kitchen. Hell fire?? And what do we get right after this quick scene?
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Mike shifting away from Will. Hanging on the wall directly behind Suzie is a large painting of the Last Supper. Mike is feeling uncomfortable, watched, and extra aware of his feelings towards Will.
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We return to some religious imagery in 4.09:
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The same Bible verse that Jason quoted pops up again, this time in red paint, red like blood. Just like in 4.06, religion in some way hurt our characters. Jason used it as his ammunition against the Hawkins group, resulting in Lucas being badly hurt, Erica being assaulted, and Max not being able to be saved by Lucas when he planned to step in. And we also see Mike here: in the background, with El, looking scared. Mike has retreated back into himself now that he said I love you to El after being unable to be honest with her.
This was Mike's season for internalized homophobia. He is getting pushed one way by societal pressures, religion, and his relationship with El. And he's getting pulled the other way by his desire to be himself, be happy, and be with Will.
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theshoesofatiredman · 8 months
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I'm revisiting a part of The High School Survival Guide: Making the Most of the Best Time of Your Life (so far) by Adam Palmer. It's a Christian book despite the fact that the title makes it seem totally areligious, and I read parts of it when I was in high school. It was the first time I ever read about being gay in a book. I found a free version online and while I didn't think the Bible could shock me anymore my mouth dropped open at this:
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Apparently the MSG version of this passage really says the quiet part out loud. Gay people aren't even human / lose the knowledge of how to be human. Not sure how that works. There's such a dissonance between the tone of this verse and the tone of the text in the book too.
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GEE I WONDER WHY??? How strange that Christians, who believe their sacred text claims that homosexual acts strip people of God, love, and their humanity, view homosexuality as 'icky' and 'gross.' In fact, I would think they'd think much worse in that scenario and treat gay people far worse. In fact, it kinda seems like you're downplaying the absolutely brutal treatment and systemic discrimination of gay people that was carried out in the name of Jesus.
And all of this is being aimed at (presumably Christian) teenagers who think they might be gay. There's no real advice here other than to surrender to god and to seek accountability.
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I was keenly aware as a gay Christian that I was at the center of a culture war I did not want to be a part of. People out beyond my religious community were fighting for an acceptance and celebration of homosexuality that I thought was harmful and sinful. People inside my religious community had all kinds of incorrect ideas about gay people and I didn't think there was much space for me to be "out of the closet" even if I stayed single, celibate, and god-fearing. And I had no idea what to do about any of it.
I didn't come out to anyone until after high school. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed, and the weight was still heavy. God did not make it easier, did not lift the burden of homosexuality from me. I had plenty of accountability in my life, constantly watched by helicopter parents with Internet filters, confessing sin regularly in men's groups (both before and after I started to tell people I 'struggled with same-sex attraction). 'Accountability' only served to intensify my shame.
The only time things got easier was when I started to take God out of the equation, when I started to see my sexuality as a part of myself to embrace rather than excise. Christians will drone on and on about how Christ sets people free from their sins. In my experience, to be free of my sin I had to first be free of Christ.
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poemsfortheresistance · 3 months
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bible verses about girls
bible verses about girl leaders
bible verses about girls and god
what does god think about girls
what does the bible say about women
what does the word submit mean
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do girls have to get married
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is it ok with god if girls run for student class president
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is it ok with god if girls want to preach
list of good christian colleges
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is size 8 fat
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what is homosexuality
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what happens after we die
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bible verses about fear
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does god forgive all sins
do children go to hell
will i go to hell if im baptized
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Maddie Zahm Lyrics That Instantly Reduce My Deconstructing Traumatized Brain to Tears
Song - Where Do All the Good Kids Go?
Lyrics that destroy me:  
I was way too young to lead people to the other side. I thought so much about death I couldn’t live my life.
I was always way too young To be that good at growing up. Does anybody really know where all of the good kids go? I was always way too young; now I can’t catch up.
I got drunk the first time at twenty-three; a total black out, I didn’t know when to leave. I hated playing never have I ever, so I hooked up with a random stranger. I can’t tell the difference between fun and danger.
Song - You Might Not Like Her
Lyrics that destroy me: 
If you would’ve told me I’d throw away my purity ring In the middle of an airport my younger self would laugh, would never believe that;  it’s against everything that we stood for.
Someday you’ll kiss a girl and you’ll panic. Some guy will break your heart and you’ll feel manic. Then You’ll learn to let people have their opinions and talk about your traumas and like the body you live in.
Someday you’ll learn to keep your own secrets, say you’re doing okay and really mean it.  You’ll lose your faith a bit and question if she’s you... and for awhile you might not like her,  but I do.
Song - If It’s Not God
Lyrics that destroy me:
When they were wrong I could never keep quiet, I'd search for the truth and had faith that I’d find it, set myself on fire.  Let myself be the liar.
All the Sunday’s I worried I’d disappoint my mom cause I never understood some types of love being wrong. Something inside me was always steering left;  what father picks a few just to leave the rest?
I heard a voice inside my head, they disagreed... so If it wasn’t God, then thank God: it was me.
They called me a sinner when I was a saint hiding in her bedroom praying depression away killing herself for eternal life and losing her interests to be a good wife.
Song - Pocket Bible
Lyrics that destroy me:
Met some guy in my science class.  He was gay; I didn’t get that. Wish I had known it then, ‘cause looking back he could’ve been the best friend I couldn’t have.
Passed out advice, never passed out on drugs, carried around judgment and tried to label it love. Thought I knew how to live exactly right; truth ain’t travel sized.
What’s it gonna take to heal a heartbreak? What happens when you kiss a girl for Christ sake? If I’m getting high am I a mistake? Just a good kid gone bad.
Why’d they start to want me when I lost weight? Why do I feel better when I don’t pray? I must’ve missed a verse that was vital Cause none of this was in my pocket Bible.
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kiefbowl · 8 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/transmutationisms/730325527112581120/like-the-thing-is-that-transitioning-is-morally-ok
what are your thoughts on this?
like the thing is that transitioning is morally ok
I'll just say I personally don't argue whether transitioning is "morally ok", not because I think morals don't apply, but I think there are specific circumstances where I can't argue that a fully realized adult with informed consent shouldn't be able to make certain decisions, and I do think that if the choice truly is between killing yourself and pursuing some sort of cosmetic change in your life, an adult shouldn't be barred from making that cosmetic change, I'm just overall doubtful that those cosmetic changes are going to "save" someone from suicide. If you have suicidal thoughts, you will ultimately need a different intervention, and I'm saying this with all the compassion and love in my heart. I will say that changes with minors; I think it's indefensible to allow a child to have cosmetic surgery, especially before all other options have been exhausted if you're trying to intervene on suicide. This is a complicated area of thought, and I only mean to interject a lot of my own thoughts here even before OP finishes their sentence because a lot of people with (let's call it) sophomoric analysis and argument skills will start conflating counter arguments with morality even when a morality judgement hasn't been made yet. Since this OP isn't specifically referencing something someone said, I find that interesting and worth keeping in mind, especially with the phrase "morally okay." "Morally okay" isn't very specific, not usually a phrase of much philosophical weight. Basically what I'm hinting at...we can assume this person isn't well versed in making moral arguments. Their feet haven't been held to the fire in an open debate with someone who is a heavy weight in moral philosophy. Anyway...
not because it will make you normal and happy (it very well might not)
"Normal" and "Happy" are already highly contested ideas anyway, let alone in debates about morality. Plato, through his senpai Socrates fanfiction, argued you can be happy from pure reason alone even if you're "on the rack." And then Aristotle argued in response that he was a dumb fuck idiot and you can't be happy on the rack just because you can reason yourself into it obviously you stupid moron. So this debate is old. Ancient, even. Also, don't quote me in your papers, this is from approximate memory but I'm basically right.
So it's funny to me to start a sentence with "transitioning is morally ok, not because it will make you normal and happy" as if those are givens in any argument about morality. Plenty of moral philosophers don't give a rats ass what's normal and what makes you happy. Literally...look at the pro-life movement, who's arguments are based purely in a rationalized morality (and quotes from the bible yadda yadda). When you counter a pro-life argument with "what about the happiness of women" they literally say "what about it." I think happiness matters, but it doesn't mean it's the basis of morality. You have to argue it matters first, and they are already saying even though it's a given you can disregard it. That's weird! We're trending towards a D grade.
And then the admission it might not make you happy...or normal...interesting. Normalcy and Happiness: It matters but disregard it and also it might not matter, a moral argument. Reminds me of Platinga, fucking hated reading Platinga in college. Fuck. That. Guy.
but because you are a moral agent with a body & a name & an identity that you are allowed to change at will.
An assertion! which is way better than that guy in that anon a week ago who basically just said "I don't believe in sex base oppression" over and over again and also used words like "ineluctable". But! Will they support it. Let's find out...
staking that autonomy on the transphobe's demand for a performance of psychiatric normalcy is a losing game,
Not yet
not least of all because these people punish transness with violence
not yet
& then turn around & use that very violence & its detrimental consequences as explanations of how transitioning itself is harmful 🙃
Okay they didn't support their assertion. So I'll make an argument and a counter argument.
Paraphrasing: Transitioning is morally permissible, because regardless if it makes you normal or happy, you are a moral agent who has an identity (which includes your body and name) that you're allowed to change at will.
It doesn't really follow but let's take a stab. I'll define "moral agent" as a being with moral agency, which means someone who can freely make choices of a moral nature.
So the pro argument (Argument A) is that if you are a moral agent, you (1) have the ability to discern what is permissible and (2) your moral agency is a part of your identity, therefore your choices with regards to your identity cannot be unallowable without disinheriting your given moral agency.
The counter-argument (Argument B) is why should that include your body, if the body is a material fact? Should moral permissibility contend with our physical and observable world?
So let's remember these arguments and circle back to their next statements I quoted above:
staking that autonomy on the transphobe's demand for a performance of psychiatric normalcy is a losing game, not least of all because these people punish transness with violence & then turn around & use that very violence & its detrimental consequences as explanations of how transitioning itself is harmful 🙃
bunch of gobbledygook. so now we have an assertion of psychiatric normalcy. Where did that come from?
So if we are to assume that OP's stance is Argument A above, let's assume this sentence is a counter-counter-argument to Argument B. It becomes clear here that OP has a belief that protecting autonomy is a question of morality, and that protecting autonomy is a moral maxim (ought be done), and that violence is proof this is true [data not provided][source needed][does not follow]. We can also assume that by "autonomy" OP means "whatever someone wants to do." It's interesting to pose the question of autonomy in a moral argument, when morality asks questions of what one can ask of another, what one owes another, and what another ought do, especially when you're hinting at the idea that autonomy includes manifesting whatever identity you see fit up to and including physical changes you place on the body.
If you ask me personally, I think autonomy is an important moral question, and it extends to self determination. I believe people in general are owed self determination. However, this moral argument is incomplete because it does not contend with the fact that you are not alone in the world. When does someone's self determination end? When it conflicts with another's. If transitioning includes a belief that denies material facts that are important in recognizing the oppression of another group, perhaps you don't have carte blanche with regards to transitioning.
Again, depends on how you define these things and OP doesn't define anything.
stop playing this game with them, stop trying to prove you can do Health just as good as anyone else. you don't owe anyone that & you're ultimately hurting yourself if you're not willing to defend trans people who are insane or unhealthy or abnormal or anti-socially self-destructive
And this is wild and out of pocket and doesn't follow with anything they previously said. D-
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fullstcp · 3 months
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"You Might Not Like Her" by Maddie Zahm Sentence Starters
POCKET BIBLE
"He/she/they could've been the best friend I couldn't have."
"Passed out advice, never passed out on drugs."
"I/You carried around judgement and labeled it love."
"I thought I knew how to live exactly right."
"The truth ain't travel sized."
"What's it gonna take to heal a heartbreak?"
"What happens if I kiss a girl/boy for Christ's sake?"
"If I'm getting high, am I mistake?"
"Why'd they start to want me when I lost the weight?"
"Why do I feel better when I don't pray?"
"I must've missed a verse that was vital."
FAT FUNNY FRIEND
"I have to be nice or I'll be the next punchline."
"I'm just the best friend in Hollywood movies who only exists to continue the story."
"The girl gets the guy, while I'm standing off-screen."
"I'll wait for my cue to be comedic relief."
"If I don't answer now, are they still gonna need me?"
"Do they keep me around, so their flaws just seem silly?"
"I say 'I'm okay', cause they wouldn't care anyway."
"And I could try to explain, but my effort's in vain."
"I've done every diet to make me look thinner."
"So why do I still feel so goddamn inferior."
"It's funny when I think a guy/girl likes me."
"If I don't answer now, are they still gonna miss me?"
"Life of the fat, funny friend."
IF IT'S NOT GOD
"Be pretty and don't make it look like you're trying."
"When they were wrong, I could never keep quiet."
"I searched for the truth, and had faith that I'd find it."
"I let myself be the liar."
"I never understood some types of love being wrong."
"Something inside me was always steering left."
"What father/mother picks a few just to leave the rest?"
"I heard a voice inside my head, it disagreed."
"So if that wasn't God, well, thank God it was me."
"They called me a sinner when I was a saint."
"I let them call me the liar."
"He'll/she'll/they'll know why I left, why I ran in a hurry."
"Either way I choose, I'm not wasting my life."
"The voice in my head has always been right."
INEVITABLE
"You spent ten years with somebody, didn't end up working out."
"You call me a friend, again and again."
"We could try to resist, to keep our distance."
"We could call this what it isn't."
"This has more push than it ever had pull."
"We're inevitable."
"You look out for me and it scares me."
"Every time I meet someone new face to face, the pieces don't fit the same."
"We both know it's inevitable."
"This was never in our control."
"Can we both admit it's out of our control?"
YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE HER
"It's against everything that we stood for."
"Someday, you'll kiss a girl/boy and you'll panic."
"You'll learn to let people have their opinions."
"Someday, you'll learn to keep your own secrets."
"You'll say you're doing okay and really mean it."
"You'll lose your faith a bit and question if she's/he's/they're you."
"For a while you not like her/him/them, but I do."
"You'll the old you, but here's the deal."
"That good girl/guy you were was really fucking bad at being real."
"They'll love you not despite, but regardless."
"You'll learn to let people have shitty opinions."
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loverlylight · 11 months
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Hey.
So I'm not like... back or anything, don't really know what's going on on Tumblr nowadays but I kinda wanted to jot something down about the past few months since it's all been kinda blurry. Good news is Ollie is completely healed and doing well, he's back to his normal self. I've been less going. I almost tried to kill myself a few months ago, but I was able to stop myself and just have a meltdown instead. I've been going to therapy since then, but she made it clear that I would need more intensive help. I've been taking an antidepressant since last June, and there hasn't been much overall difference but I've been able to be less... unresponsive, if that's the term. It's still a real struggle to force myself to eat, I've lost about 50 pounds since January and I'm still losing weight. My parents even got me new pants as my birthday present since the ones I have are basically falling off and I've gone from a size 14-16 to a size 10, which feels weird. I got into an IOP program, but it ended up being very... religious and had some extreme views on things (like saying you have to be vegan and constantly referencing Christianity and bible verses) and after just a few days it was making things so much worse I had to leave the program. There aren't that many IOP programs in the area, I found another one that I got into but I found out that even with my insurance it's going to be >700 dollars a week and I just... don't think it's worth it anymore. I don't want things to get better, I just want things to end, I've told my family this multiple times but I've still agreed to try and it's just getting to the point where trying to get me help is tipping pretty heavy in it's favor for me not being a burden over me not getting help. And I know I'm not allowed to die so I just feel hopeless and I've lived with constantly wanting to be dead for decades at this point, the only difference was I got worn thin enough I couldn't really hide it anymore, and... I don't know. I don't see the point in trying to make things better or whatever since there is nothing that I want to stay alive for for myself, and at this point it feels like no matter what pain I'm in I won't be able to do anything about it as long as it would cause more of an inconvenience for me to be alive instead of dead, so... I don't know. I'm just so, so tired
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tradflowr · 9 months
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Hi. Sorry if you don’t take asks
but I really like your blog and admire your relationship with Christ
I also have a question. I want to lose weight to be better looking and more like the other women I see on trad tumblr. Do you have any advice on how to do it in a holy way? I don’t want God to think I’m not great full for my body
thank you
Oh, darling.
Firstly, I’d just like to make it clear that I do accept asks, especially from those who need advice or just have some questions they’d like answered — whether that be pertaining to God or the traditional lifestyle.
And secondly, I want to remind you that in the Bible, we are reminded that our worth and beauty are not determined by our outward appearance, but rather by our character and our relationship with God. Psalm 139:14 says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." This verse reminds us that we are uniquely and intentionally created by God, and we should find confidence in knowing that we are His beloved children.
Additionally, 1 Peter 3:3-4 encourages women to focus on the inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. Instead of comparing ourselves to societal standards or seeking validation from others, we should cultivate a heart that is rooted in God's love and seeks to please Him above all else.
However, in the Bible, sin is often described as actions that go against God's will and harm ourselves or others, and while overindulgence of food and lack of exercise may not be explicitly mentioned as sins, the Bible does provide principles and teachings that can guide us in making healthy choices for our bodies.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 reminds us that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and we are called to honor God with our bodies. This verse encourages us to take care of our physical well-being, including maintaining a balanced and healthy lifestyle.
You are God’s child, and you are beautiful.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
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my-meadowlark · 2 years
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Fic: Proverbs 4:23 [Glee - Quinn/Rachel]
Title: Proverbs 4:23 Fandom: Glee Characters/Pairing: Quinn/Rachel, with mentions of all or most of their canon ships. Rating: T Word Count: 5877 Summary:
Lucy Fabray is thirteen years old when her Sunday school teacher holds up a single red rose for all the students to see.  “This,” she says, cheerful in a way Lucy has learned to associate with lessons that end in talks of hellfire and eternal damnation, “is your heart.”   Quinn's life between Lucy and the night Rachel wins her Tony award, from her point of view. A series of unfortunate events, if you will.
Written for the prompt 002: Heartbreak from my femslash100100 Zeros table. Available on AO3 or under the cut.
Proverbs 4:23
Lucy Fabray is thirteen years old when her Sunday school teacher holds up a single red rose for all the students to see.
“This,” she says, cheerful in a way Lucy has learned to associate with lessons that end in talks of hellfire and eternal damnation, “is your heart.”
The teacher smells the rose, puts on a big production about how lovely it is. Just like their hearts. Is Lucy’s heart lovely? She doesn’t see why it wouldn’t be. Her mother always says it’s a shame she won’t lose weight so her inner beauty can shine through.
“Here,” the teacher continues, handing the rose to a girl in the front row, “smell it. Feel how soft the petals are. Beautiful, isn’t it? Pass it on so your friends can feel it, too.”
By the time it reaches Lucy, the rose is a little bit droopy. It’s missing a few petals and some of the ones it still has look like they’re barely holding on after being rubbed by half the class.
“Would you like to receive that rose?”
The teacher is looking at her, and Lucy nearly sighs because she knows by now what feels like the right answer is never the right answer in Sunday school. She doesn’t even know what they’re supposed to learn from this. Is it gratefulness? Then yes, she would like to receive the rose. Humility? Keeping sweet? All signs point to “yes” being the right answer.
“Yes?”
“No!”
The only reason Lucy doesn’t roll her eyes is the last time she did it she was grounded for two whole weeks. No, then. Fine. No.
“No, ma’am.”
“Exactly,” the teacher emphasizes, like they’re all supposed to ignore the fact that she told Lucy what to say, “you wouldn’t. And that — that’s what your heart looks like after letting a bunch of people play with it.”
Lucy looks down at the sad little rose. She’s sure there’s a lesson here somewhere but she’s not really seeing it right now.
“Purity! It’s the only way to protect your hearts.”
Ah. Lucy feels herself relax on her chair. Okay. This is about purity. About not letting boys anywhere near her heart (she’s fairly sure when her teacher and her mother say “heart” they actually mean boobs, not that she has any just yet). These are Lucy’s favorite lessons. She doesn’t need anyone to tell her to stay far, far away from boys. She doesn’t want them anywhere near her.
“Lucy, can you tell us what’s Proverbs 4:23?”
The only thing Lucy is naturally better at than keeping boys away is memorizing Bible verses.
”Above all else, guard your heart.”
***
1 Corinthians 10:13
Quinn Fabray is fifteen years old when she decides purity is, actually, her least favorite topic in Bible study (Sunday school is for children).
It happens little by little. At first she doesn’t even realize she’s falling behind. In fact, she thinks she’s the best at it. Most of the other girls at Bible study have boyfriends already. They talk constantly about crushes and boyfriends and saving themselves for marriage and how much they struggle to keep their purity promises.
Quinn feels like an example to them all. Look at her. Look at Quinn Fabray. She’s thin and pretty and she never thinks about boys at all. She doesn’t struggle with purity, ever. She’d sooner eat vegan bacon again (gross) than touch a boy. She’s perfect, isn’t she?
You’d think so.
The first thing she notices is a change in tone when they ask her if she likes someone. It’s subtle, but it makes some kind of defense mechanism within her ring the alarm bells.
“You still haven’t found a boy you like, Quinn?”
There’s no admiration in the girl’s voice. No envy. This girl doesn’t wish she was just like Quinn Fabray, and that’s— Quinn is doing something wrong, and whatever it is needs to be fixed before everything else that makes her Quinn comes tumbling down and all that’s left is Lucy again.
“Frannie?” Her sister was born perfect. No surgery or eating disorder needed. Surely if anyone is going to be able to help, Frannie is the person to call. Even if she lives in a whole different state. “Are you listening to me?”
“Yes. Yes, I’m listening. Do not lick your sister’s foot.” Quinn can hear her niece screeching in the background. “Luc— Quinn, it’s not about avoiding boys. You’re not supposed to avoid them.”
“I’m… not?”
“No. No, you— Okay, this is your warning. I will superglue you to the naughty step.” There’s a deep sigh, and (not for the first time) Quinn wonders if Frannie’s perfect life makes her as blissfully happy as everyone says she is. “You’re supposed to want to be with boys. You know?”
There’s something in Frannie’s wording that makes Quinn feel like whole paragraphs will appeaar in the empty space between the words if she points one of those CSI purple lights at them.
“Quinn. Are you listening?”
“Yeah. I think so.”
“You’re just— you’re a late bloomer, okay? I was, too.”
“I… am?”
“Yes. But people will start talking if you keep avoiding boys so you need to find a nice boy you don’t hate and just… you know. Go to a movie or something.”
There’s so much she needs to ask. People will talk about what, exactly? Isn’t she supposed to keep the rose hidden away? Why can’t she just keep going to movies with her friends? Why does this whole conversation feel like it’s in a secret language and she’s lost her decoder ring?
“But Frannie, I don’t get it, what are they going to talk—“
“Sorry. Sorry, Quinn, I’m— listen, Tobias just got home. I have to go. Just play along, all right? Fake it ‘till you make it.”
“Fake wh—“
Quinn stares at the phone for a few seconds after her sister hangs up. She doesn’t think she’s been this confused in her life.
Two weeks later, a girl at Bible study asks her again if she has a boyfriend, and when Quinn says no she mutters “that’s a bit weird” under her breath. For a split second, Quinn thinks she used a different word. A Q word that’s not Quinn and means something like weird but in an entirely different way.
Her mouth goes dry. Of all the sins she’s heard discussed at the dinner table — and there have been many — that one is by far the worst. Jesus saved prostitutes, but he didn’t save any of them.
She has her first date with Finn Hudson two days after that.
He’s nice and Quinn doesn’t hate him and he’s the quarterback so he’ll earn her a few more votes to be prom queen like she’s supposed to be. He takes up too much space and his hand feels uncomfortably large in Quinn’s and his voice is all wrong when he says the right things. But he’s nice and she doesn’t hate him.
By their first month anniversary, Quinn feels like she’s finally starting to understand the unspoken rules of this whole thing. She notices the subtle looks and comments that mean not letting Finn kiss her has crossed the line from suitably pure to weird, and she gives him a good luck kiss before his game. She joins the Celibacy Club for extra ideas on things she’s supposed to struggle with for Bible study. She even uses the time they spend making out (that’s one of the struggles that gives you extra points for stopping) to revise for her exams in her head, so at least it’s not time wasted.
“Stop. Finn!” Quinn pushes him away, wills herself not to shudder at the feeling of his rough, large hand on her thigh. He’s so nice, but he’s wrong, wrong, wrong, and Quinn sits up on the bed and smooths the skirt of her cheerios uniform over her thigh like she’s hoping the familiar feeling of the fabric will erase the other one. “Stop. Remember— remember 1 Corinthians 10:13.”
He stares at her, obviously confused.
Quinn sighs. “He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.” There’s more to it, but that’s the important bit right now. Finn is nice and Quinn is perfect and she will make sure he is not tempted beyond what he can bear. “Okay?”
Finn nods.
“Okay.” Quinn taps his hand in a way she hopes comes off as affectionate and offers him a tight smile. “Go. I have to shower before Bible study.”
They’ve been dating for almost four months when Rachel Berry barges into her carefully curated life like an unnervingly tiny bull in the proverbial china shop. Finn wants to join Glee club, which makes no sense from a prom king point of view. And he’s been getting close to Rachel Berry, if Santana is to be trusted. Which she… kind of is, most of the time.
And Quinn can’t lose Finn. Finn is nice and she doesn’t hate him, and he always stops when she tells him to, and she’s almost completely used to the smell of his aftershave so she doesn’t feel like taking a shower every time they make out anymore. She can’t start all over again with another boy. She just can’t.
So she confronts this Rachel Berry, as is her right and her duty. And here’s where the trouble starts: she gets it.
She gets it. She gets why Finn would like her. It’s the big brown eyes, she thinks. With long dark eyelashes that don’t even look fake. The soft-looking skin. The slight hint of floral in her perfume. The ridiculous outfits — those ugly soft sweaters and patterned skirts and knee-high socks and the strip of tan skin between the hem of the skirt and the elastic of the socks. The small hands, the delicate fingers, the manicured nails.
Fear has a taste, Quinn will have you know. She knows because she feels it the second she realizes she’s somehow discovered the decoder ring that reveals the true meaning of Frannie’s advice. She tastes fear the very second she stares down Rachel Berry and feels like she’d act just like Finn if she was in his shoes.
That evening at Bible study, she gets to choose the verse to reflect upon. 1 Corinthians 10:13.
“He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.” Quinn reads out loud from the highlighted paragraph in her study Bible, and for the first time since she was a chubby little girl praying for a pony at Christmas, she actually hopes there’s someone up there listening and willing to help.
“But when you are tempted,” she continues, “he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
When Noah Puckerman offers her the fourth wine cooler of the night at the party, she takes it as a sign. This, Jesus can forgive.
***
Proverbs 23:22
Quinn Fabray is still fifteen years old when she realizes she’s been lied to.
Forgiveness is a lie. Hate the sin, love the sinner? A lie. Unconditional love is a lie. It’s all lies. All lies, and she doesn’t have a home anymore.
She lies in Finn’s bed at night and stares at the ceiling and forces herself not to focus on how his light snoring sets her teeth on edge. She doesn’t have a home and she doesn’t have her parents and she figures Bible study and the Celibacy Club are out of the question, too.
She has a baby she can’t keep. She has Finn, who’s nice and in love with Rachel Berry and that makes her jealous in all the wrong ways. She has Puck, who’s more a problem than an asset but at least he’s a boy.
She has her father’s loud, thundering words etched in her brain.
”Honor thy father! Exodus 20:12, honor thy father!”
Her mother’s silence felt just as loud.
And then the kitchen timer ticking down the seconds she had to grab the essentials and leave her father’s home (it was never really hers, was it?) forever, and her mother’s hurried kiss wet with salty tears and her hushed words as she closed the door behind Quinn.
”Proverbs 23:22”
Quinn closes her eyes even if she knows she’s not going to be able to sleep. She can feel her baby kick sometimes, like popcorn. This isn’t the baby’s fault. Poor baby, she figures, being born into this mess.
Proverbs 23:22. Listen to your father who begot you. Quinn wishes she could stop listening to her father in her head. Calling her a whore, telling her she’s condemned. Ruined beyond repair.
A few months later she’s holding her baby girl, ugly and perfect in that way only a newborn can be. Wet with Quinn’s blood and all kinds of gunk (they really should make a bigger effort with the sex ed curriculum at McKinley), her little face too swollen for her eyes to fully open to look at Quinn.
She doesn’t even identify the feeling as love at first. It’s like an uncontrollable wave. Something beyond comprehension. She’d die for every wrinkle on her daughter’s brand new hands. She’d jump into traffic to save every single sticky hair on her little head. She’d kill with her bare hands anyone who tried to keep her from breathing in the smell of pain and life on her skin.
Beth is perfect. She’s perfect and Quinn can’t hate herself because she made her. She made this perfect little baby girl and her father was wrong. She’s not ruined. Just a little broken, but not beyond repair. Her mother was wrong. She doesn’t need to listen to him.
When Shelby comes to pick Beth up a few hours later, Quinn asks for a moment to say goodbye. She apologizes to her daughter and assures her Shelby will be a wonderful mom. And when she kisses her warm little forehead and smells her hair for the very last time, she suddenly remembers the second half of her mother’s verse.
“Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old.”
Quinn cries for both her mother and her daughter, and whispers that last part in Beth’s left ear before she hands her over to the woman who will be her mom.
***
Song of Solomon 3:4
Quinn Fabray is sixteen years old when her best friend comes out.
And the ground doesn’t open up to swallow her whole. God doesn’t smite her, their friends don’t shun her.
There’s just a guitar and a song by Fleetwood Mac. And it’s not — and this is the important bit — the first time someone’s used a Glee Club performance as a vehicle to declare their love. Lord knows it happens far more frequently than it should. What amazes Quinn, what has her feeling unshed tears burning at the back of her eyes, is the fact that this is just that. Just another love song. Another two people in love.
Santana is in love with Brittany and that’s that. Their love isn’t worse or better than any other love that’s been paraded around this room. It’s not different. It isn’t lacking. They’re not unhappy. Their relationship isn’t a constant struggle or some deep dark secret best left hidden away.
Two girls, as it happens, can just be in love.
Later that day, when she’s holding Santana through the heartbreak of Brittany wanting to stay with Artie, Quinn thinks of that droopy little rose for the first time since Sunday school. Above all else, guard your heart.
Finn is nice, and he’s in love with Rachel. Quinn doesn’t love him and that makes him perfectly safe. His mediocrity and lack of drive makes dating him the equivalent of choosing the merry-go-round instead of a rollercoaster. Except, of course, for Rachel Berry.
Rachel Berry who seems to know she’s above them all and yet keeps tying herself to human anchor Finn Hudson. Rachel Berry with her big brown eyes that well with tears when Quinn tries to tell her — tries to make her see that she’s so much better than this stupid town and all the stupid boys in it. Rachel Berry who asks why Quinn is so mean like she’s an idiot and blind and stupid and why can’t she listen? Why can’t she understand what Quinn means when she says she’ll be Finn’s wife? Why won’t she look at her and understand? Why can’t she see?
God, she hopes nobody can see.
Quinn feels like she’s on a treadmill that’s just a little faster than she can run. Finn and Sam and Finn again and Rachel freaking Berry and Santana resurrecting Lucy Caboosey like a nightmare from hell that’s somehow less terrifying than this ever-growing feeling in her chest that flares up every time she sees Rachel.
People talking about the future and Quinn picturing her own face in one of those real estate posters on the back of a bench at the park and feeling like she used to when she had morning sickness.
A t-shirt that says LIKES GIRLS in big bold black letters which she hides in the darkest corner of her closet so she can wear Lucy instead.
Her mom wanting her back.
Junior prom and a dress that’s perfect just like her face and her date except he’s wrong. He’s all wrong. And Rachel Berry who just— she can’t— she won’t listen to her, really listen, and the look in her eyes when Quinn slaps her because she can’t take it anymore.
Finn calling her the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen in his life because he’s a dumb boy who doesn’t realize how stupidly, unbearably lucky he is for the way those big brown eyes look at him. Finn calling her the right thing but it sounding wrong, and then Rachel calling her the prettiest girl she’s ever seen and it feeling just right.
Just right.
She’s not prom queen and her mom holds her like she hasn’t since she was a little girl and tells her she loves her anyway. Judy tucks her in and kisses her temple and tells her she’ll be crowned next year. Senior prom is the real one, anyway. She soothes Quinn’s sobs even if she has no idea what they’re for, and when she reads from Quinn’s old book of Bible verses for children, the only one Quinn can think of is Song of Solomon 3:4.
I found the one my heart loves.
***
1 Corinthians 16:14
Quinn Fabray is eighteen years old when Rachel Berry gets engaged.
Not to her.
Obviously.
She wants to shake her. She wants to ask if one slap wasn’t enough. She wants to murder Finn Hudson just so he’ll set Rachel free.
God.
She has Ryan Seacrest’s face tattooed on the small of her back and her hair was pink for five minutes and she tried to steal back her daughter in what she’ll call a momentary loss of sanity but even she knows this is a mistake. She can’t marry him. Rachel can’t marry him.
And the worst part, what keeps Quinn up at night, is that if Finn loved her like he says he does — like Quinn knows she does — he wouldn’t have asked. He’d step aside and let her be the star she is. Can’t he see? Can’t he see Rachel was born to do amazing things? Can’t he see she’s so much bigger than anything he can offer her?
Can’t Rachel see?
Sometimes in the middle of the night she convinces herself Rachel is just as scared as she is. Just as terrified of saying things out loud. Does Rachel wonder why Quinn can’t understand what she really means, too?
Just in case, she decides to ask.
“Were you singing to Finn and only Finn?”
Rachel says yes.
And yet.
Quinn keeps running through the scene in her mind. The look in Rachel’s eyes, the way her hands moved, the tone of her voice. She doesn’t want to go to the wedding, but she decides to go anyway just in case. Maybe Rachel will stop halfway through. Maybe she’ll look at her with those eyes when they ask if anyone knows of a reason why they shouldn’t get married and Quinn will stop this tragedy of a wedding in its tracks.
Maybe she should forget about it. Take Rachel’s answer at face value, admit she lost, and let it go. Maybe she’s the last person in Rachel’s mind on the day she’s going to marry Finn.
Except.
There’s a text. Rachel is thinking about her — wants her to be there — and Quinn, of course, of course, of course is on her way.
When she wakes up in a hospital bed, she can’t move her legs and Rachel is not Finn’s wife.
She should probably take it as a sign. Being hit by a truck while on her way to (maybe) stop someone’s wedding is a pretty clear sign she’s not exactly following God’s plan.
And she does take it as a sign. At first.
There’s Joe and Artie who are even safer than Finn. Yale which will take her far, far away from Rachel and on to a completely different life. Senior year keeping her too busy to focus too much on anything else. There’s physical therapy and her mother’s hyper focus on prom going on overdrive because this is the real one. The big one. The very peak of Quinn’s high school career (the department of admissions at Yale would beg to differ, but Judy Fabray follows her own agenda). Finn again, because he’s always been prom king material and Quinn has a dream to make true.
And then, once again, there’s Rachel.
“Do you not understand what you mean to me?”
The words are right. Quinn is sure Rachel said that word for word in several of her wildest dreams, right before kissing her. But — and here’s the heartbreaking part — the thing is, Quinn does understand. Right there, at that very second, she understands. She understands exactly what she means to Rachel, and she understands it’s simply not the same thing Rachel means to Quinn.
Love works like that, sometimes. It doesn’t always go both ways.
So Quinn lets Rachel go. But first, she gives her her crown. She makes her prom queen. She gives Rachel her dream. And as she watches her dance with someone else, another one of those perfectly memorized verses comes to mind.
Let all that you do be done in love.
***
Psalm 139:14
Quinn Fabray is nineteen years old when she sleeps with another woman for the first time.
It’s Santana, who is her best friend and in love with Brittany, which makes it all feel just short of real and takes the edge off the knowledge that she’s actually going to sleep with a girl.
They dance first, and Quinn doesn’t love Santana — not in that way — but it feels right. Her cheek is soft when it brushes against Quinn’s. She smells like perfume and her hand fits perfectly in Quinn’s.
She likes the way Santana’s breast fits against her palm, the way she kisses her, the sounds she makes. After a split second of trepidation, she discovers she likes the way Santana tastes, too. The way she feels around her fingers. The way she says Quinn’s name when she comes.
There’s a part of Quinn that knows what it all means. She knows how she feels and what she needs to do to be happy, but she can’t. She sees it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. She sees Santana and Brittany and Kurt and Blaine and she understands it’s not that big a deal these days, but she can’t do it.
She can’t.
And so, there’s Biff. Biff who is not nice and she sometimes hates him but he’s not in love with Rachel Berry like Finn was, and he will give her the adult equivalent of a prom queen crown. She’ll get an obscenely large engagement ring and summers in the Hamptons and her children will be called Miffy and Archibald, probably, and won’t her mother be proud?
Won’t everyone envy her?
She’ll be perfect again, like she was a lifetime ago for a brief few months when she was the head cheerleader dating the quarterback and she couldn’t put a face to the name Rachel Berry.
She’ll be Mrs. McIntosh and Quinn McIntosh and she won’t even share Lucy’s last name anymore. And just like she changed when she became Quinn, she can change when she becomes Mrs. McIntosh. She can be someone who never got pregnant in high school. Someone who never had to give her newborn daughter to another woman. Someone who never fell in love with the same girl her boyfriend loved.
And then it all comes tumbling down once again, right there in Lima (where else?) when Biff finds out and looks at her with the exact amount of disgust she deserves and Quinn realizes she’ll never, ever be perfect again. Maybe she never was.
Except for one single beautiful perfect moment when it was just Quinn and Beth in the world. Beth who was absolutely perfect and made Quinn perfect just by virtue of having brought her into this world.
So when Puck asks her for another chance, Quinn forces herself to focus on that. Beth was half Puck and she was the best thing Quinn has ever done. Sometimes, she tells herself, people simply don’t get to be with their soulmate. Sometimes people just get to be with someone who’s nice enough. Someone they don’t hate most of the time. Someone who reminds them of the one perfect thing in their life.
Eleven months later, after a fight outside a wedding chapel in Las Vegas and a returned engagement ring, she stands in front of the mirror in a motel bathroom and looks at herself. Her outside has been carefully built piece by piece. From Lucy to Quinn. Shiny blond hair and a perfect little nose and the proverbial curves in all the right places. It’s all very pretty. Perfect, even, if you overlook a stretch mark or two which she’s made peace with because they remind her of Beth.
She’s rebelled against all that perfectly crafted beauty before. The pink hair, the tattoo, the nose piercing. Anything to distract herself and everyone else from what was underneath.
”You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever met. But you’re so much more than that.”
Rachel’s words come to mind as she keeps studying herself. What else is she? She’s a very pretty girl. And what else?
It takes her a long time. Minutes pass and she holds the word on her tongue but stops herself before she can let it out.
She’s so pretty on the outside. It took so much work to be this way. Is she really going to ruin it now?
Quinn closes her eyes and thinks about Finn and Puck and Sam and Joe and Artie and her professor from Yale and Biff and Puck again. She thinks about their voices and their hands, the way they kissed her and touched her.
She thinks about big brown eyes and the most beautiful eyelashes. About Santana gasping her name. The strip of golden skin between the hem of Rachel’s ugly skirt and the elastic of her even uglier socks.
“You’re a lesbian.”
She opens her eyes and looks at her reflection in the mirror and is genuinely shocked to see she looks the same. No three sixes on her forehead. No ground opening up to swallow her whole. Nothing’s changed. She’s still herself. On the outside. And she’s herself on the inside, too.
How can that be wrong?
She remembers, vaguely, waking up after her nose job high on all kinds of drugs and barely able to focus her swollen eyes on the people around her. She remembers a blurry shape that looked like her dad and another that sounded like her mom, and a third one she couldn’t place until she heard her voice.
“I hope you’re proud of yourself.”
It was the first and the last time she heard her sister speak to her father in that tone. Quinn had a feeling the only reason she wasn’t raising her voice was the fact that she thought Quinn was asleep.
“It’s for her own good,” her father said, “you’d do the same if your children needed something fixed.”
Frannie’s toddler son started fussing, and she picked him up and held him as comfortably as her gigantic seven-months-pregnant belly allowed.
Quinn watched her sister shake her head, and though her swollen eyes didn’t let her see her face very well, the scoff she heard told her the family eyebrow had definitely made an appearance.
When she realized her sister was walking over to her bed, Quinn closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep just so she wouldn’t be pulled into whatever they were fighting about.
“Take that lollipop out of your mouth, please. Give your aunt a kiss and go get grandma Judy.” The little boy’s lips left a sticky candy mark on Quinn’s cheek.
And then there was just Frannie.
“Oh, Lucy Quinn,” she said in a way that sounded like a sigh. Frannie kissed Quinn’s forehead and tucked a strand of still-brown hair behind her ear, “there was nothing to be fixed.”
Before she left the room, Frannie said one last thing: “Psalm 139:14, dad.”
Quinn knew it, of course. It made her cry then and it makes her cry now, for entirely different reasons.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
***Proverbs 4:23
Quinn Fabray is twenty-six years old when Rachel Berry wins a Tony.
She watches from a hotel room in London at an ungodly hour of the night (morning?) thanks to timezones, but she knows she wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyway if she tried.
So she stays up and watches.
When they say Rachel’s name, she feels vindicated. She was right. She was right all those years ago, when she told Rachel she was meant to be a star and do great things far away from Lima and its stupid boys. She was right when she told her she shouldn’t get married because she had dreams to chase. She was right. She was right.
The screen doesn’t do Rachel’s eyes justice, but when she looks into the camera Quinn feels a little out of breath anyway.
Several of her wildest teenage dreams started just like this. With Rachel walking onto a stage to receive an award and Quinn watching in awe of her. And Quinn can’t look away. She knows she should. She should at the very least mute the television because she knows whose name is going to feature in Rachel’s speech, and she knows it won’t be the one in Quinn’s dreams.
Her thumb hovers over the power button on the remote, and then the mute button, and though it’s been what feels like a million years since she’s prayed or read a Bible, she finds herself remembering that one day at Sunday school when the teacher showed them a rose.
“Proverbs 4:23,” she mutters under her breath, equal parts amazed and annoyed she still remembers most of the verses she was forced to memorize. At least they come in handy at trivia nights from time to time.
Proverbs 4:23.
Quinn has broken every single rule she learned as a child. One by one, she’s managed to shatter them all. All except for one. Proverbs 4:23.
”Above all else, guard your heart.”
And she has. God, she’s guarded it so closely if it really was a rose it’d be in a glass case like the one in the Beast’s castle. Finn and Puck and Sam and the rest of them. Santana, even. All the women she’s dated since coming out. She’s never let any of them go anywhere near her heart.
So why can’t she just turn off the TV? Rachel’s already unfolding the (perfectly memorized, Quinn’s sure) speech and Quinn is sitting there like an idiot, waiting to be hurt.
What’s the point in guarding your heart if it’s going to get broken anyway?
And then it happens. Rachel says his name, and it hurts but not in the way Quinn was expecting. It’s a pang of sadness, a lot like the pain she gets in her back sometimes when her body remembers just how much it used to hurt. A phantom pain, almost.
Quinn figures it out as Rachel exits stage right. She’s carrying her Tony and Kurt and Blaine’s baby and Jesse’s ring. And Quinn’s heart. She’s had Quinn’s heart for the last eleven years. And Quinn is so happy for her. She’s where she belongs — on Broadway, making history, proving she’s always been a star. In a different life Quinn would’ve been there in the audience and in the speech.
She wonders where she would have had to change course to end up there and not here, alone in a hotel room half a world away. Maybe if she’d remained Lucy. Maybe if she’d never dated Finn. If she’d never joined Glee Club or given up Beth or been terrified of what would happen if she stopped guarding her heart.
Eventually, Quinn decides the phantom pain of a broken heart is a fair price to pay for everything else. If she was still Lucy, maybe Beth wouldn’t exist. If she’d told Rachel how she felt, maybe Rachel wouldn’t be holding her first Tony award.
With a sigh, Quinn looks at the clock and realizes she only has five hours before she’s supposed to be at her first book signing this side of the Atlantic. Matters of the heart aside, she has a good life. Her novel, where someone who sounds suspiciously like a Lucy that was allowed to exist gets the girl, has become an international sensation. She gets to travel and write and be free in a way she wasn’t even aware she’d been craving.
She likes to think she kept that promise she tried to make by the piano all those years ago. She likes to think she did send Rachel on her way. That she had at least a part in it.
Love looks like that sometimes. Like letting go.
Quinn picks up the copy of her book on her bedside table. The copy she meant to mail to Rachel but then didn’t because it felt like intruding, somehow. Like letting a piece of her into a life Rachel shares with someone else should be Rachel’s choice alone.
In all her book signings and talks so far, there’s one question she always gets asked: What’s her favorite part of the story?
And she always answers the same way: the third page.
She flips to it now, with the sounds of Rachel’s perfect night still coming from the TV, and the sight of the words makes her smile. The real love story begins and ends on the third page.
To Lucy, and Beth, and her. ★
Title: Proverbs 4:23 Fandom: Glee Characters/Pairing: Quinn/Rachel Rating: T Word Count: 5877 Summary:
Lucy Fabray is thirteen years old when her Sunday school teacher holds up a single red rose for all the students to see.  “This,” she says, cheerful in a way Lucy has learned to associate with lessons that end in talks of hellfire and eternal damnation, “is your heart.”   Quinn's life between Lucy and the night Rachel wins her Tony award, from her point of view. A series of unfortunate events, if you will.
Written for the prompt 001: Awakening from my femslash100100 Zeros table. Available on AO3 or under the cut.
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butchdykekondraki · 1 year
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DO YOU PERCHANCE HAVE A FAVOURITE BIBLE VERSE OR RELIGIOUS QUOTE OR ANYTHING (<-KNOWS NOTHING ABT RELIGION)
"2 Corinthians 4:16-18; So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen."
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ohtobemare · 16 days
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Hiya !!!
Hope you're ok ?
Just checking in 🤗
Just wanted to share you this verse:
Isaiah 41:10 (NKJV)
Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
You're truly an inspiration 💝💜💞
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Anonymous!
How did you know?! How did you know this was my life verse, the verse that is continually with me—the verse that’s even carved into my leatherwork Bible case?! I opened my phone this morning over coffee and saw this and my insides screeched with joy! 🥹
You actually have no idea how, how down I’ve been the last few weeks. I was laid off in February and haven’t found another job, and at almost 30 years old, life is not conducive to unemployment. My father struggles with mental health so he’s been….challenging. Plus, I’ve been working hard to lose weight and transform my body and my diet; and I am recovering from correctional surgery on my vagina from last week. It’s been—it’s been a lot.
And we won’t even discuss the anon drama this week.
So yesterday I was grappling a lot with being down and just—not great. Asking God a lot of questions. It’s so amazing to serve a God that cares; that desires to be known and make Himself real. And even if tumblr is a little hellish, this ask here is proof that He can use anything.
Thank you so much. I will be ok. It’s well with my soul. 💛
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lindajenni · 4 months
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feb 16
familiar friday - weary or not, here i come "and let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." gal 6:9 are you growing weary yet?  the word has warned us that "because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.  matt 23:12  it's alright to get weary in our race.  it is not alright to forfeit the race.  yes, there will be times when the other side seems to be winning.  it is precisely those times when we have to look beyond ourselves to the One who has already won the race.  He has said, "My strength is made perfect in weakness."  2 cor 12:9  believe me, the glory of God will be poured out in these latter days. we do not give up.  we give in.  give into God and let Him have His perfect way.  or, as a friend used to say, "let go and let God".  can it be that we need to come to the end of ourselves to really see the glory of God manifested in us?  often as we go along in this battle, we tend to feel it is us "carrying the load".  IT IS NOT!  He has said, "I also say ... on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it."  matt 16:18  the "I" is not us but Him.  "for You have also done all our works in us." isa 26:12 several years ago the Lord gave me a few verses that i would hum in my mind over and over.  perhaps it should have been a song, but alas, in that i failed also.  it goes like this: I'll be with you to keep you in all that you must do. and if you must go through this trial I'll put new strength in you. there remains a sabbath rest that I will lead you to. it's where all your works have ended and My Spirit reigns in you. sometimes we go through a trial because it is of our own making.  He would not have led us there, but our flesh did.  even in those times, He will be there to help pick up the pieces and turn it around for our good and His glory.  that's His promise.  "I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support."  heb 13:5 ampc it is always the "pressing" of thing that produce the greater value, be it olives, grapes or lives.  we must willing submit to the pressing.  we must willing submit to the firing which will bring forth the purest gold. and so, "we are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed — always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body."  2 cor 4:8-9 "therefore we do not lose heart.  even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.  for our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen.  for the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."  2 cor 4:16-18 i have quoted extensively from the bible today.  the beauty and truth of the word of God expresses it better than i ever could.  i can only add my hope that you will endure whatever may be "pressing" you.  be it finances, health, persecutions, lost loved ones, whatever.  our Lord is there for each of us. "Father, give us eyes to see beyond to your intended purpose.  all our trust, hope and faith is in You alone.  'as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ.'"  2 cor 1:5  in the name of our Lord Jesus we pray.
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scribeforchrist-blog · 4 months
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Elevating To A New Mindset
MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK
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+ Psalm 107:9, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.
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VERSE OF THE DAY
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+ Philippians 2:5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,
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** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **
I AM GIVING GOD MY MIND
I AM GIVING GOD MY EVERYTHING
I AM STRONG
I AM LOOKING FOR JESUS
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THOUGHTS:
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 No matter where you are in a building, if you look outside, the view is the same; it might be cloudy outside, but the view is the same no matter what window you look through in that building; some people feel the higher they are in a building that it changes the view sure the view looks higher or lower depending on where you at but all of it is the same but what changes is our perspective, we look at things different, we assume because we are either higher or lower that its different.
 Sometimes, God takes us higher to see if our relationship with him will change or stay the same. Sometimes, he leaves us in that same spot because he knows if we go any higher, we will lose this connection, so what changes between someone living on the top floor and someone living on the bottom floor? Is it their perspective, or is it the location? Sometimes, we must move away from the negative thing to gain a different perspective, and sometimes, we must ask God to elevate us so we can see that no matter where we are in life, he is there; it's never him who changes. It's us.
  Philippians 2:5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,
 We have the right to change our minds, change our life, change anything we dont like, it used to be a time when I didn't like what I saw in the mirror, so I went to the gym every day to change it because I thought if I change my body, maybe someone would love me for who I am and want me more.
  As I lost the weight, I realized that no matter what I looked like and what I wanted people to see, which was someone pretending to be happy, someone pretending to be hip or cool, I was still that same person inside that my perspective, of me, had to change. I had to do it by choice, not making it happen. I had to let go of everything else to accept where I was.
 That's precisely what this verse tells us: the mind we want to have is the mind of Christ. We can only have that mind by choice, not because I or some other teacher is telling us to; we must do it because it is what we desire. What is your choice? Do you choose to stay where you are in life with the mindset you have right now, or do you decide to have this mindset that Christ has, which is of love and peace?
 Colossians 3:1–3 If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. 2 Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. 3 For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
 We have to set our minds on things above, not on things on earth, not on temporary things. It doesn't matter where we live, what clothes we wear, or what job we have because, at the end of the day, what we came here with is what we leave with, which is nothing; we can try to make this our home, but it isn't, our mindset must change, or beliefs in God must change, and in order to do that we must change what we think we see. 
 Romans 8:6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.
  God is waiting to change us, mold us, and show us a different perspective, but the Bible says that our mind needs to be on things above, not on things on earth. Where is our life? Where do you want it to be? This is all up to us and how we want to live our lives for Christ.
 ***Today, God wants us to allow him to change our perspective. A lot of times, we don't let God change our minds. We allow him to change only little aspects of us, but to truly change, we must let him change us completely; we must allow ourselves to go higher so we can see, but if we never go higher, We will never see; if we stay in the same spot, we'll never grow; we have to let go so we can grow. We must allow God to mold us so our mindset can be different. ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee
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PRAYER
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Heavenly Father, help us let go of this mindset that's not of you; help our mind be placed on the things above, not things here on earth. Lord, forgive us for any sins we have committed. Lord, we need you so desperately; we are eager to change for you; help us keep this fire in us for you. Lord, help us not to lose our zeal. Lord, we ask that you help us accept the changes you are making in our lives. Please help us apply the word to our everyday lives. Lord, we thank you, and we are so grateful in Jesus' Name, Amen.
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REFERENCES
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+ Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God
+ Matthew 5:37 Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.
+ Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
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FURTHER READINGS
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PROVERBS 1
SOS 1
REVELATION 2
JUDE 

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