#blender is so fucking funny to me

[fedexfirstclass]

Diamondchance if it was good

[lygma-nygma]

Honest to god Titans Tower is probably the funniest thing that's ever happened in comics to me? Like, there's so much to unpack here it's insane?? The tear-away stripper Red Hood costume? The knock-off Robin costume with the stupid ass yellow tights that somehow looks worse than if Jason just rocked the bare thighs? The way Jason is drawn like he is fully 35 with two stepkids and a mortgage? Jason inventing fanfiction about Tim and Bruce's relationship in his head because he refuses to believe Tim actually stalked his way into being Robin?? Trying to mimic his crowbar death by beating Tim with his own staff but I as a reader am entirely unable to take it seriously because of those stupid fucking tights-

And then you get to Tim's side of things and he says like, all of 5 things the entire time and three of them are a coded 'fuck you'. He has absolutely no time or respect for Jason's pity party and it's actually hysterical because Jason cannot stop yapping. Meanwhile, Tim is like, definitely losing the fight which makes it funnier?? Then the ending?? Jason scrawling "Jason Todd was here" on the wall in blood (or red paint meant to look like blood, up in the air) and signing it with a handprint like he's a middle schooler who just discovered Creepypasta???? Ripping the 'R' off Tim's costume when he's literally already unconscious?? Zipping away from the scene thinking "damn I actually like that kid, wish I had friends tbh"??

And then it's literally never brought up again.

[snake-and-goat]

I tried baking

(the ones blurred in white are me, someone else took those screenshots and blurred my name just in case)

[toastermelody]

came to a horrible realization at work

[dawnleaf37]

in honor of the tpot short with the failed debuters (assumedly) being announced soon heres my tierlist of all the tpot debuters most favorite to least

tags for longer opinions :3

[catgirljaneway]

[bittersweet-mojo]

so good omens. hm. truly I dont know how to feel. this is the most well executed cash grab i think ive ever seen. like. oh for sure this season Should Not Exist. but neil and presumably a lot of other people looked at it and thought. well that could make a lot of money. and like, these are people who can write and make good tv, like its not bad! its just the most patiently obvious cash in i think ive ever seen. it’s a completely different show. its.. fine. its taking all the things the rabid fans said they wanted and just giving it to them. and like. theyre just gonna keep going you guys asked for a straight drama romance and your going to get it. theyve committed to it now. and theyve done everything right like, there’s nothing truly offensive about it. and for those mad about the cliffhanger guys this is pat and parcel for romance shows they want to make money theyre gonna milk it for all its worth. they cant just live happily ever after, if they did we wouldnt have a season 2 in the first place. truly the right thing to have done with the story was to just have them kiss at the end of season 1 and never touch it again. but now we have this. cool.

[panb1mbo]

GUYS GUYS SHUT UP EVERYONE SHUT UP i got an air fryer :)

[chisungie]

.

[little-lanterns]

lilith on w17 : that stupid mask won't hide your identity also lilith w12 :

[palskippah]

Hi! I give you this Stobotnik fankid I made a while ago :'y

She's Sofia --or Ivania or some other name ending in 'ia'-- Robotnik (coolest last name)

It's a compilation and also there's some Stone for practice bc I have no idea how to draw him pipipi Eggman is easier bc it's just his Sonic Boom design (I love it)

Some stuff about this universe under the cut!

(Btw if there's incongruencies is bc I can't make up my mind about the facts whwhw)

-Robotnik and Stone are married, very much married. Cartoon villains in love, I love that for them.

-["MARTHA I'M COMING HOME SWEETIE-"] Mixing up the movie things and the whatever's going on in the Sonic Boom, so Robotnik was gone for eight months and when he's back she's already born.

>Also the drawing is a reference to Icarly's "Whatcha got there?" "A smoothie" but she was clearly asking about the ostrich Spencer brought with him.

>Alternatively, Eggman's there and they go through the journey together yippiee. Choosing names, making evil parenting plans and whatever, being their idiot selves.

(After celebrating because they're good news actually) "I want a boy or a girl-" (Eggman) "Yeah me too." (Stone) "-and we should name them a single, worth of remembering name! Like... Eggette for a girl and Eggson for a boy." "I'm not letting you name them any of that, doctor..." "Okay, then how about Beyonce for a girl and-"

>They wouldn't have kids (?? maybe? I don't really know, I only know sonic boom and the movie :'U)- but she was probably the 1% the birth control warns you about. Also, Stobotnik got a very active seggsual life, and I'm imagining she came to be from a quickie over the desk, why not.

>Helpful diagram of Eggman + Stone kissing and then = baby. They were in work hours.

-In the one where he comes back and the baby's already there, Eggman does a terrible job as a father the few first months, but then he gets the hang of it and it's not so bad.

>He gets projectile vomited on and he's immediately asking to get an abortion (the baby's already born) (he didn't give birth to her), Stone says no anyways.

>"Surprisingly, I'm a good father" he thinks one day and it's because he's still very much an orphan here with no frame of comparation or example aside from researching the matter.

-In the one where they wait for her together, he does all the research necessary in all those months, absolutely refusing in doing an average job in that matter, he's the great Ivo Robotnik c'mon. He excels at anything and he'll be a great father (jk he's terrified of fucking up).

-The Stobotnik family is an evil but loving family, like the bears in Puss in Boots whwh criminal family✨

-For the funny of it, Sonic and Eggman got a sort of relationship like in Sonic Boom, so sometime maybe our favorite boy, Tails and Knuckles had to look after their child.

-Also since Knuckles broke Stone's and Robotnik's hands with their handshake, let's have him handle the baby with the most careful grip ever, just to demonstrate that he didn't have to grab their hands that hard aksdjask

-She's a big fan of Sonic and friends (Sonic the Hedgehog, not Sonic Wachowski, the second guy hadn't done even half the things she admires him for, but no one has the heart to tell her when she's a kid). Has a bunch of merch and all the comics of Sonic the Hedgehog.

>When she's a teenager she proudly uses her Sonic backpack in the same way Deadpool uses his Hello Kitty backpack.

-BTW Sonic, Knuckles and Tails are all brothers and Maddie and Tom's kids bc that's the best idea ever made.

-ALSO I'm definitely gonna draw that scene where Knuckles was about to put the baby in the blender and Sonic shouts THE CHILI DOG NOT THE BABY. Some day, you'll see pipipi.

-SAGE was created for various reasons, to be her sister (since she wouldn't stop asking for one but neither Stone nor Robotnik were willing in raising another human kid, thanks very much), to protect her, and also to answer the tedious "why?" questions that neither father had the patience for (A+ parenting right there). Maybe she was used for the original purpose too idk (I don't know that sonic game where she debuts).

>The child's delighted about having a sister, then she grows up and SAGE doesn't, so she has a little sister.

>METAL SONIC TOO MAYBE? Perfect lil american family, the two happily married parents and their three kids (one human girl, an IA and a robot clone of their alien enemy).

-On her early months she was called Pebble, because she really was a mini Stone, Robotnik went along with it (bc he also looked at her and only saw his husband whw) until she was a little older and they started calling her by her name.

>Alternatively, since Eggman was gone, Stone waited for him to return in hopes of choosing together a name for their child, and Pebble worked as a placeholder since she was just a bebi.

>Alternatively alternatively, Eggman came up with the nickname. ROCK-ONNAISSANCE 🗣️ also yeah I know he was going crazy from the mushroom stuff, but he's not above making silly puns, he's a dad now and also he's naturally silly.

(NGL I really gotta make up my mind about how it all happened ajsdkad)

-She's a spoiled kid and also a little menace, unintentionally evil, she can't help it.

>Good-hearted too sometimes, she loves Sage and does her best to protect her back (it's not necessary but it's appreciated anyways).

-Robotnik calls himself 'daddy' way too much in the live-action movies to ignore it, so he's daddy and Stone's dad (dada when she was younger).

>"These are my daddies!" (points to what's clearly two villains -but also good fathers-)

-She has Robotnik's eyes but as big as Stone's. They're the lethal-est sad puppy eyes ever (they work wonders on both parents and other people) (both men got beautiful dark brown eyes with visible eyelashes fight me).

>Look at Eggman's silly eyelashes:

>Also, you know that picture of Lee Majdoub with the beautiful everything? I think he was wearing eyeliner so my Stone wears eyeliner too in contrast to Eggman's dark circles under his eyes JDJS😭

-She's the five-year-old that made Sonic fear them because 'they can be so cruel when they sense weakness' (she was brutally honest as any young kid is).

-Stone and Robotnik got Gomez and Morticia Addams kinda parenting. They see their child beating up someone and they're like:

"What did we do wrong?" (Stone while shaking his head in disappointment) "I know... she lacks resourcefulness." (Eggman) "Exactly, there's her baseball bat right there, why doesn't she use it?"

-Remember that Shadow said in a game that he wouldn't mind taking a candy from a baby? (fandub I think but still) This comes in handy when neither Tails, Sonic or Knuckles want to upset the kid (so Shadow does it instead).

-She plays sports too because she got too much energy. In each of them she loses her patience. She grabs the football and hauls it at the nearest team member, she throws her baseball bat to the ground and starts beating up whoever threw the ball that she missed, she stomps in frustration if she loses, she's great at dodgeball (sends her classmates to the infirmary).

-Throws tantrums and stuff and overall's an annoying kid if she's upset. Eggman's like UGH WHY'S SHE LIKE THIS?? and Stone's like Because of you, doctor (terrible temperament runs in the family and also Robotnik just spoiled her too much).

-I'm kinda dressing her up in the clothes that existed in my mind that supposedly Eggman wore (the weird dress-like jacket with the big zipper in the middle). Under her jacket there's a dress in the same pattern as the original Eggman's clothes, also she wears a baby onesie like that too.

-When she's older she's definitely proud of her fathers, but she doesn't appreciate the rumors that she's prone to go power-crazy like Robotnik did. Especially because it may be true, but what do they know.

-For the irony, she can't stand drinking coffee, but loves the smell of it because it reminds her of home (omg).

-THEY HAVE A PET CAT like I read in some fics and her name is Robot and she's a lil shit and also grumpy like Robotnik.

>Maybe she brings her alive mice to experiment on all sort of stuff (like Pávlov and his dogs and the guy Skinner with his mice and cats (??))

-She gets to hang out with Sonic and friends under the condition of annoying him as much as possible. So, she complies. (She loves Sonic the Hedgehog, but she loves making her fathers happy more).

-Very smart kid but not to the level of Tails or Robotnik at that age, she's just got very good memory and learning skills and knows a lot of stuff ever since she was a little kid. More like a Matilda-kinda intelligence.

-She's a scientist when she grows up too but the kind that makes evil potions and serums and stuff aksjdk probably (chemistry things? biochem idk). She can make silly little robots for the fun of it but it's not her passion, unlike Robotnik and Stone's. PROBABLY. I'm still deciding.

-BTW LOOK (it says 'carefully crafted ploy to distract space porcupines')

>While Eggman's there with the baby and Sonic in front of him going AWWW BABY BOO and making her laugh, Stone is sneaking up on him holding a chair above his head to knock him out.

THAT'S IT THANKS FOR READING ✨✨

[demonpiratehuntress]

period pain

OPLA!Zoro x F!Reader

A/N: This is the Zoro period one-shot I mentioned in my previous post.

"Luffy, if you take a single thing off my plate I will stuff you in a fucking blender."

An inhuman growl left your lips as you shot a withering glare at your captain, pulling your plate closer to you. The younger boy looked taken aback by your threat, his hand retracting slowly in slight fear. Usopp and Sanji stared at you with their jaws dropped, Zoro raised an eyebrow, and Nami looked unfazed.

"What are you guys looking at?" You snapped, turning your glare on the rest of them.

They all looked away, mumbling apologies, except Zoro. You rolled your eyes, grumbling something about him being so stubborn and tough. He would have said something about it, but his feelings for you stopped him. He's seen you angry, but this was something else. And he'd rather not risk saying something regrettable to you while you were clearly bothered by something.

"(Name), can you please..." Usopp gulped, "Pass me the salt."

You practically threw the salt shaker in the poor guy's hands, your deathly glare not leaving your face. You ate your food aggressively, attacking it like it was the reason for your anger. The rest of the crew sat in silence, even Luffy not wanting to aggravate you more - and that was saying a lot. Nami was trying her hardest not to laugh, which confused the boys, who didn't understand why such a situation would be funny. But she knew what it was.

"You guys are idiots," she snorted when you'd left the table.

"And why's that?" Zoro asked, folding his arms over his chest. "Do you know what's wrong?"

"It's so obvious," she confirmed, then backtracked, "Oh, wait. You guys really don't know?"

Their blank, clueless expressions made Nami sigh.

A little while later, you hobbled into the kitchen for dinner. But this time you weren't mad, you were groaning and clutching your stomach tightly, earning concerned glances all around. But because of earlier, everyone was too afraid to say a word. Except Zoro.

"Go back to your room."

"W-what?" Your eyes widened, then glossed over with tears.

He instantly cursed himself and his monotonous voice. He hadn't meant it to sound harsh or anything, but from the way you looked at him he knew you had taken it the wrong way. And when the tears actually fell, guilt ripped through him and he felt an unusual pain in his chest.

"Zoro-" Nami started.

"No, it's okay," you said quietly, turning around, only to feel that familiar feeling of something wet down south.

"You're bleeding!"

Embarrassment washed through you and you instantly turned back around, trying to cover it, but the blood soaked the front of your shorts as well. You instantly regretted wearing such light-coloured shorts, but you hadn't expected your period for another two days. But now, seeing them all staring, you felt humiliated and ashamed, and the tears fell faster.

"Someone get her a damn blanket," Nami practically growled at the gobsmacked men, before coming over and helping you to the counter.

You refused to look at the green-haired swordsman, but you soon realised he was no longer in the room. You internally groaned, then began crying even more because you felt as if you had disgusted him. Nami tried to comfort you, but you barely heard her as you felt the sadness of impending rejection mixing with your already unstable emotions. 

What happened next was beyond anything you could have imagined.

You felt a blanket being draped across your shoulders, seconds before you were lifted into a pair of familiar, strong arms. You quickly covered your tear-stained face with the blanket, not wanting to meet his eyes as he carried you to your room.

"Don't do that."

"What?" You choked out, your voice still weak and soft.

"Don't hide," Zoro clarified. "I want to see your face."

"Why?" You slowly removed the blanket from your face.

"You're pretty."

Your heart hammered in your chest when you heard that, sadness immediately dissipating. You couldn't believe what you had just heard, but it made your heart swell knowing he really thought that. You felt your cheeks heat up, and the familiar feeling of butterflies that you always got around him.

"I'm crying. And bleeding."

"Nami told us what's wrong," he looked down at you, and his eyes gleamed with concern, "It's natural."

Before you could say anything else, he set you down. In a hammock. With a start, you realised he'd brought you to his room instead. You opened your mouth to say something, but he was already walking away to his closet. Your words died in your throat when he pulled out his own clothes and offered them to you.

"Change. I'll wait outside."

He started towards the door, but you stopped him, sniffing, "Thank you."

He felt his own heart swell when he saw how happy his actions had made you, and it sparked some hope in him that maybe you felt the same way. Not knowing what to say, and also wanting to hide his oncoming blush, he just nodded and quickly exited to let you change. You looked down at his clothes, your own blush dusting your cheeks. As you changed into them, you realised you'd need underwear.

"Z-Zoro?" You called, blushing harder.

He was in the room in less than a second, his eyes widening when he saw you pants-less but with the blanket covering your lower half. He coughed, trying hard not to blush, "Yeah?"

"I need...underwear," you said quietly, feeling more embarrassment come on.

"Oh."

You started to get up, thinking you'd rather get it yourself since he was clearly uncomfortable, but he stopped you, "Stay. I'll ask Nami to bring it for you." Then he reached down to grab your bloodstained clothes, and your eyes widened.

"No! You don't have to-"

"(Name)," he sighed, looking up at you, "Shut up and let me take care of you."

You would have probably burst into tears again if anyone else had told you to shut up, but the words that followed it were enough to comfort you and make you relax back into the hammock. You bit your lip, flustered and embarrassed but feeling much better already knowing he was going to - and he wanted to - take care of you.

A while later, you were dressed in his clothes and relaxing in his hammock, your heart thundering as you looked around his room. He hadn't decorated, being the simple man he was, but just the fact that it was his brought you more comfort. You felt calmer here, like the room itself was reducing your stress and pain. Your cramps had subsided, but that was because of the hot soup that Zoro had brought you which he had aggressively demanded Sanji make. The man in question had disappeared somewhere, but came in just as you were starting to wonder where.

"How you feeling?"

"Better," you admitted. "Thanks to you."

He sat down next to you on a chair he'd brought in, "Stop thanking me."

"But-" You were cut off by another wave of cramps, groaning loudly and curling up into a ball.

He shot up again, "What? What's wrong?"

"More...cramps..." You managed to get out, whining and whimpering in pain.

"Should I get more soup?"

"N-No, just..." You blushed at the idea you had, wondering if he would really do it. "Could you...maybe lie down with me?"

Instantly his cheeks warmed up. Unlike many people would think, Zoro was easily flustered by requests like that coming from you. He'd long dreamed of laying with you in his hammock, you on his chest with his arms around you, but he hadn't ever expected it to really happen. His heart was beating faster than it usually did, as always when he was around you, but he happily obliged despite his nervousness in doing so. You shifted to give him space, letting him slip onto the hammock beside you.

"You might not be comfortable with it, and it's totally okay if you, arent, but-" You groaned in pain, then continued, "Can you please put your hand here?" You placed a hand over the spot, and he almost choked on air when he realised how far down it was. You saw his expression, and your eyes widened, "I-I'm sorry, you don't-"

His warm hand settled over that spot before you finished, "I want to help."

You blushed, "Well...your hand might help better inside."

His eyes widened, but he slowly slipped his hand in and settled it over that same spot, and was about to ask if that was right when he looked at your face and saw you visibly relax. That gave him his answer. When he started rubbing slowly, the pained look on your face completely disappeared.

"That feels really good."

He smiled, then guided your head to his chest as he slowly relaxed as well. You closed your eyes, mumbling something about how you never knew such peace existed during your period. Another unusual bout of pride swelled in his chest, knowing he could help without words, because those were not his strong suit.

"Can I kiss you?"

He was surprised to hear you ask, and looked down to see your eyes on his lips. He leaned in without saying anything and captured your lips with his own, kissing you slowly and softly. The kiss was much gentler than you expected it to be, but you weren't complaining because his lips were soft and warm, and you leaned into him even more, deepening the kiss. The butterflies in your stomach fluttered around wildly, but this time you didn't try to calm them because you loved the way he made you feel. He pulled away too soon, but pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

"You should sleep. You look tired."

"I am tired," you complained, "But I don't want to sleep. What if I wake up and you're gone? And I'm in my own bed, and this was all a dream?"

He chuckled, finding it adorable how sleepy you sounded, "I promise I'll be here when you wake up. You and I are both staying right here."

"Okay."

That 'okay' was so innocent and childlike, making you much cuter to him. You yawned once, before closing your eyes again and getting comfortable on his broad chest. He held you close, and you fell asleep knowing you had the best caretaker watching over you.

[2knightt]

The boys reactions if you asked to do their makeup?

the gangs reactions to you wanting to do their makeup!

!warnings!

1.fem!reader

2.mentions of putting concealer and foundation on, so like just imagine you bought ones that match them lol

3.swearing and minor violence at the end.

Johnny Cade ;

“johnnycakes, would you let me do your makeup?”

you said looking at your boyfriend sitting on your bed as you did your own makeup at your vanity.

“h-huh? like..on me?”

“yes johnny, on you.”

johnny wanted to object he really did but when you just stared at him he got nervous.

he just nodded his head yes because he didn’t want to disappoint you.

so you smiled as wide as you could and shot up out of your seat.

“really?! you’d let me?”

“huh uh…”

“EEK! well, sit down!!”

johnny sighs as he makes his way over to the chair.

johnny didn’t know what you were gonna do to him!

well, he did have an idea. he watches you do your makeup so often that he’s memorized your routine.

he has to admit, he was scared at first, but when you started to do his makeup he immediately relaxed.

johnny didn’t know you doing his makeup could be this relaxing.

he almost fell asleep!

johnny’s scared of the eyelash curler. he doesn’t like how close it is to his eye.

when you’re finished and you show him the finished product, he can’t help but look at himself at all angles!

“so? did i do good?”

“yeah, real good.”

Dallas Winston ;

only way you’re gonna do his makeup is if you have pity points!

if he forgot something special or you guys just finished settling an argument and he feels bad? you just got yourself dallas winston pity points!

put ‘em to good use.

but if you’re askin’ to do his makeup, i think you are!

“dal..?”

“yea?”

“can i do your makeup?”

expect him to slowly turn his head towards you with shock and disgust.

he has dignity!! he’s a cool tuff grease, what makes you think he’s gonna put ANY sort of makeup on??

“no.”

“well, do you remember the time that you got mad at me for like no reason? you still gotta make it up to me..”

“FINE. i’ll let you do my makeup. just don’t bring that up again.”

you smile as you grab your makeup bag while dallas groans.

if you have one of those cute lil headbands with animal ears on them please put them on him?? it’d be so funny??

“y/n are you fucking kidding me?”

“what do you mean dal? you look so cute!”

dallas has ZERO clue on what you do for makeup.

he doesn’t even know what concealer is.

when your finished he just blankly stares into the mirror while you laugh your ass off.

“this isn’t funny.”

“no-no you’re absolutely right! i-it’s just the fact that thee dallas winston is wearing makeup!”

Ponyboy Curtis ;

“gee, pony. im realll bored..”

when you started anything with ‘gee’ ponyboy knew you were gonna suggest something stupid.

“*sigh* what do you want to do, y/n?”

“you should let me do your makeup!”

ponyboy scrunched his face up at the idea, but the longer he thought about it, the more okay he was.

“okay, just don’t make it wear it out in public as some cruel prank.”

“i would never!”

ponyboy would also be another one to find you doing his makeup relaxing.

he doesn’t close his eyes though, he’s too busy asking and trying to guess what you do with everything.

“oh! what’s that for? is it to like…pluck my eyebrows?”

“no pony, it’s to curl your lashes.”

“what.”

he thinks you beating his face with a beauty blender is ticklish.

“stop moving!! im trying to blend out the foundation!!”

“it ain’t my fault it tickles!”

but when you’re done he definitely forgets it’s on and goes into the living room with the gang in there.

“WOAHHH WHAT’S ON YOUR FACE PONY?”

“you got something to tell us, kid?”

“OH SH-“

and now he’s running to his room to tell you to take it off as you hear the gang laughing like hyenas in the other room.

“y/n, y/n please take this off. i need to go get a pepsi.”

Sodapop Curtis ;

he is absolutely for the idea of you doing makeup on him!

when you asked him he smiled so bright, you could’ve sworn you looked right into the sun!

“love…you should like, let me do your makeup.”

“yeah!! let’s do it!!”

when you get your makeup out, expect him to be touching everything.

the second you put something down, it’s already in his hands.

“ew, why is it sticky?!”

“cause it’s a primer, babe. it’s supposed to be sticky.”

he puts you on his lap while you do his makeup so, ‘you can see better.’

yeah right.

so the whole time while you’re doing his makeup he has his hands around your waist with his eyes closed.

OH MY GOD PLEASE LET HIM PICK THE EYESHADOW COLOUR.

he may pick ugly colours that totally clash, but it’ll make him happy.

“uhh, oh! i like this red and…that purple!”

“…seriously?”

if you put lipstick on him, expect him to try to be kissing you all the time.

“soda!! stop tryin’ to kiss me, i’m trying to put the makeup away!”

“aweee, y/n doesn’t want my kisses…??”

let him have at least one and he’ll feel better.

he DEFINITELY keeps it on all day.

“what the fuck are you wearing?”

“you don’t like it stevey wevey?🥺”

he says while making duck lips in steves direction.

Darry Curtis ;

you have to ask when he’s tired.

because when he’s with you and tired, he’ll let anything you do slide.

so while he’s sitting on his chair with his head thrown back after ponyboy and soda are sleep, it’s the best time to ask.

“hey darry?”

“..yea?”

“since you ain’t doing much, can i..do your makeup?”

his eyebrows immediately tighten at the thought, but after 10 seconds he realizes theres no use in putting up a fight.

“sure doll. just be quick.”

and on that que, you’re rushing to get everything you need!

i don’t see darry liking the feeling of makeup, so this does infact have to be a speedy process.

he doesn’t ask what anything is, he trusts you enough to know what you’re doing.

he does not let you ANYWHERE near his eyes though, it freaks him out too much. but if you’re dead set on doing full glam, expect a long conversation of trying to convince him.

“do you really have to?”

“yes darry, eyeshadow and mascara is the KEY to any makeup look! especially with these pretty browns you have!”

when your done he’ll go look in the bathroom mirror and laugh a little before he asks for you to take it off.

if you’re feeling a little silly funny and goofy, do not take the lipstick off. let it stay there and pray it stays on ‘till the morning.

and if it does? you and the gang will have a field day oh my god.

“wow, super man! what do you do at night?”

“..what?”

“JESUS CHRIST DARRY, WHY DO YOU HAVE LIPSTICK ON?”

“…WHAT?!”

Steve Randle ;

unlike his best friend, steve isn’t one for makeup.

he’s ‘too tuff for any of that!’

bullshit!

all you gotta do is twirl your pretty hair and flutter those lashes and he’ll do it.

“aw, c’mon steve! it won’t be too long..”

“fine. but speak of this to anyone and i’ll tell them about last tuesday.”

and that’s how you got steve to sit down all nice and pretty to do his makeup!

he stares at you while you do his makeup.

he doesn’t have a goddamn clue what’s going on.

he barely understands foundation, so please be patient. he will ask what everything does too.

“whats that do?”

“this is blush steve, can’t have you lookin’ like a ghost.”

another one that picks out the eyeshadow colour, expect he actually picks good colours.

he is very aware of the what colours clash and what doesn’t, and he cannot be looking like a clown around you.

“pick which colours!”

“the cream and this blue.”

he is very nervous about the mascara, very.

but once you do one eye, he’ll even blink to help you!

when you’re done he thinks you did a great job!

he might even go terrorize sodapop for the jokes.

“don’t ya think i look pretttttyyy mr.curtis?”

“steve, get out of my house and never come back.”

Two-bit Matthews ;

he isn’t new to makeup in any shape or form.

so if you ask him to do his makeup, he’ll nod his head real aggressively.

“babyy…you should let me do your makeup.”

“i thought you’d never ask!”

his little sister has definitely put makeup on him before, but like, only kiddie makeup.

so when he seen the makeup you had?? he was astonished to say the least.

“woahh! you have actual eyeshadow, and real blush!”

he will sit there looking pretty, kicking his feet as you apply the highlighter to his face.

he licks off the lipstick as soon as you put it on.

he doesn’t mean too! he’s used to his little sisters chapstick that tastes like cherries.

when you’re finished his look, he WILL keep it on with pride.

he doesn’t care.

“two-bit, are you fucking serious.”

“yes i am. my wonderful girlfriend put it on, isn’t she just the sweetest?”

“…”

“I SAID, isn’t she just the sweetest.”

and now he’s a man with makeup, holding a switchblade, threatening someone to call his girlfriend sweet.

author notes ;

1. I LOVE GETTING REQUESTS SO MUCH PLEASEEE KEEP THEM COMING??

2.also, I HAVE 42 FOLLOWERS NOW??? I STARTED NOT EVEN 3 WEEKS AGO???

taglist-ish LMFAO:

@diorgirl444 - i remember you asked to be tagged..TELL ME IF U DONT LOL🙏

may 14th, 2023.

[ivediedmorethan20times]

Obey me characters as convo’s I’ve had with friends

Asmodeus: If you have a boyfriend, and he says you can’t use his balls as beauty blenders- 

Satan: *Leaves VC*

Lucifer: Why is it in Korean?

Leviathan: Are you homophobic or something?

Asmodeus: Prepare your balls

Barbatos: For the love of fuck it was 4AM when you sent that 

Diavolo: A dog trotted up to me in public and very slowly took a burrito from my hand. He thought he was being sneaky 

He was

I didn’t notice it at all

I feel violated 

MC: L take skill issue 🫵

Belphegor: Is knowing gay lore gonna help me in college?

Mammon: Never know, it may…

Asmodeus: Could help you get laid. Idk about actually passing semesters though 

Satan: It’s creature! [Picture of cat]

Beelzebub: Car🤤

Satan: …Why are you like this 

F!MC: I just finished my period 

M!MC: Nope it’s gonna surprise you 

F!MC: Huh?-

NB!MC: NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE

Belphegor: WHY ARE THE SHADOWS MOVING AGAIN

Beelzebub: It’s me 

Belphegor: Is that why it’s built like a Cheeto

Diavolo: Bed bath and behind you 

Barbatos: Do your homework

Diavolo: Nuh uh 

Solomon: You’re a man, let ‘em dangle 

Simeon: Let what dangle😨

Solomon: *Leaves VC*

Simeon: *DMing him* SOLOMON LET WHAT DANGLE

Diavolo: Do you see that vent, Lucifer? I know it’ll be hard, being sus, but you need to-

Lucifer: Kill yourself 

Diavolo: Ok😔

Asmodeus: Sol, Sol

🎁

Open the box 

Solomon: *Opens box*

Asmodeus: 🍆

HAHA ITS MY WEINER 

Diavolo: Lesbian rats‼️

Barbatos: WHERE

Lucifer: MC

MC

MC RESPOND

MC: Rat lord

What do you desire

My l i e g e

Belphegor: Oh wait of course Lucifer and Diavolo are sitting beside each other

Satan: Faggots

Belphegor: yawns out in a very loud and dramatic manner

Lucifer: Please do not tell me you just woke up

Belphegor: If I did?

Lucifer: IT IS 4PM FOR YOU

Asmodeus: Seethe

Fucking S E E T H E

Satan: IT AIN’T FUNNY

IM ON EDGE DUDE

Don’t joke about the edge thing

Asmodeus: WHY YOU EDGING oh ok

Diavolo: 🐌Snail :D

Belphagor: Kill it

Satan: Run it over

Belphegor: Stab it repetitively

Diavolo: NO D:

Mammon: Garlic toast incident 

MC: Garlick*

Mammon: Garlick💔

MC: I thought you were lonely ngl👍 I mean you are but,,,

Mammon: WH AYE SHUT YOUR MOUTH PLEBISCITE

MC: Permission to bite

Lucifer: Permission granted

MC: Huzzah

NB! MC: Woah, is that- Masquerade Butterfly🤔 by👆 Miura Ayme‼️

(Any) MC: His songs are so dick suckable🤤

Lucifer:😨

Mammon:😨

Leviathan:😨

Satan:😨

Asmodeus:😨

MC: THE UNISON WAS FUCKING IMMACULATE

Mammon/MC/Leviathan: I can skibidi explain‼️

Lucifer: I will skibidi kick your ass‼️

[m0nsterqzzz]

★ Happy Endings in the Avengers Compound ★

paring: wanda maximoff x female reader

summary: Wanda is to afraid to make a move with you but what about when you get a date that isn't her?

warnings: literally nothing, it's just pure fluff, jealousy if that needs a warning? really shitty ending cuz i didn't know how to end it lol, a tiny bit ofcussing, terrible writing

a/n: I wrote this while I should've been taking notes in English cuz I was so boreddddd got this idea from a video my friend sent me that was all like, "girl whos obsessed with you does your makeup or something" cuz there's this girl in class who likes to do people's makeup and it was so fucking funny cuz she kept making comments I swear so yeah I just wanted to say that. enjoy :)

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

With a big grin, you harshly push open Wanda's bedroom door and squeal. “I got a date with this really pretty girl at the coffee shop!” Wanda's head snaps up from the book she's ready, and no amount of enthusiasm takes over her face. “A girl? what's her name, last name, date of birth, addresses, place of work, and hometown?” you chuckle, sitting criss cross on her bed and taking her cold hands in your warm ones. “Her name is Vanessa but I call her V, her last name is Tanner, birthday is March 23rd…I don't know what year, I don't know her address, she works at the hospital a few streets away, and I don't know where her hometown is.”

She takes a moment to think before questioning, “So you're going out with a woman you barely know? That doesn't sound safe honey.” You chuckle and nod. “I do know her! We spent like two hours talking in the café!” She looked back to her book and muttered, “Yet you still don't know how old she is.”

You giggle, and a sudden thought appears that makes you smile even brighter. “You should do my makeup! She's taking me out to dinner at a really fancy restaurant at seven.” Wanda frowns. You hate fancy restaurants. The last time Tony tried to take the team out to one, you stared at the menu with a disgusted look on your face the entire time. Wanda ended up taking you to a diner later that night, and the burger you had was much better than the snail food Tony made you try. Why are you going out with this girl if she didn’t even care enough to learn that?

Wanda rolls her eyes a bit. “Why would I do that?” She asks, and you smile. “Because you love me.” you say. and she mumbles something incoherent before looking at your face and sighing in defeat. 

You cheer, launching yourself into her arms and letting your head rest against her chest. The corners of her lips tug up at your happiness, but they go back down when she remembers why. 

“Come on butterfly.” She helps you up off the bed, leading you to her vanity and forcing you to sit on the chair. She grabs a bronzer stick, gently applying it to the middle of your cheeks, kind of on your cheekbone. She grabs a beauty blender and blends that in before grabbing a blush palette. Bucky walks into the room, laying down on Wanda's bed and beginning to talk about some guy he met at the park today. “And he’s such an attention seeker!” He ends with, and it’s silent until Wanda speaks quietly- clearly to you, “Just like that girl you’re seeing.” You scoff, and Bucky bursts out laughing as he looks between the two of you. “What's that supposed to mean? You haven’t even met them yet!” You say, and Wanda shots back, “And I don’t want to.” Bucky holds his stomach in laughter, and both you and Wanda turn to glare at him. The frown on your face is clear as you look at Wanda, and she sighs as she tells you, “I’m sorry okay Butterfly? I just…..I don’t know.” You miss the way Bucky smirks at the witch as he leaves the room quietly. 

“I guess…..I just don’t like that she has you and I don’t.” This brings a small giggle out of you. “Of course you have me Wands! You’re my best friend!” You say, oblivious to the way she grimaces at the word “friend”. She sighs, and doesn’t say anything as you apply some eyeshadow and highlighter to your face. “There you go Butterfly.” You look at yourself in the mirror, grinning at the sight and then at her. You kiss her forehead in thanks. “Thank you Wands!” You say, beginning to run out of her bedroom to go search for an outfit to wear. 

“Anytime darling.” She mumbles, releasing a heavy sigh and holding her head in her hands. Someone gently knocks on the door, and she wipes her tears away and says without turning around, “What’s up Butterfly?” A slightly deep and raspy voice speaks teasingly from her doorway, “I thought that nickname was reserved for your girlfriend?” 

Wanda turns around, facing the redhead woman in the doorway and lets the tears fall. Natasha’s smile falls, and she instantly walks to Wanda and wraps her up in a hug. “She-she’s going out with someone else Nat! I’m too late!” Natasha knows about Wanda’s crush on you, as it was revealed after Wanda finally snapped at her after months of the ex-assassin teasing her about the way she looks at you. Natasha’s always been a very, go for it type person, so that’s the advice she had given Wanda the first time the younger girl asked for help asking you out. The witch practically laughed in her face.

“It’s okay kid……it’s okay.” Natasha tries her best to soothe her, but nothing seems to help as the tears continue to fall so she hesitantly pulls away and asks, “Do you love that girl Wanda?” The answer is obvious. “Yes….more than I love anything.” Wanda says. Natasha gently smiles. “Then you’re going to do what you should have done a long time ago. You’re going to buy her her favorite flowers,” Wanda nods along, sniffling a bit as she tries to build up her courage. “,you’ll put on some nice clothes instead of sweatpants and a hoodie,” she giggles and looks down at her comfortable clothes before nodding. “,and most importantly, you’re gonna do it today. Before she goes out on that date. I’m like 84.62 percent sure she likes you back so it’ll all be all right.” Wanda’s eyes go wide. She was expecting this to be more of a in a few weeks plan, but clearly Natasha had other thoughts. The redhead doesn’t give room for complaint though, as she simply gets up and walks out of the bedroom.

Wanda takes a deep breath, wiping her tears and glancing up at the clock on the wall. It’s currently 4pm, so that means there is 3 hours until your date with that bimbo.

Three hours for her to get a bouquet.

Three hours for her to figure out what she's even going to say.

Three hours for her to get her shit together.

Those three hours are spent with Bucky and Natasha, spending the first hour going to multiple stores in search of the perfect bouquet. It’s stupid really, the need to find the perfect bouquet but the older two just roll their eyes and stay silent. 

The next hour is spent trying to figure out what to say, and both Natasha and Bucky could not stay serious as Wanda rehearsed on a pillow. That pillow was thrown at Natasha's head.

The last hour was an hour of panic, especially when you came in to say your date was 10 minutes away. This was her time. She walks through the hallway, finding you sitting on a couch in the living room. You changed clothes, and you look absolutely stunning. She stops walking for a second to admire you, but a giggle from behind her causes her to abruptly turn around. She sees Tony, Natasha, Bucky, Steve, and Thor all standing there with smiles.

Tony's is more of a smirk, but everyone else's is supportive as they give her silent thumbs up. She rolls her eyes at them being nosy and continues to walk closer to you.

Your focus is on your phone, but you look up with a bright smile when you notice Wanda's platform docs. “Hey Wands! What's up?” She swallows thickly, sweaty hands gripping the bouquet a bit tighter behind her back. “Wands? Why do you look so nervous?” You giggle, and she can't help but smile at the sound. 

The group is still watching from the doorway, and Natasha rolls her eyes when Tony pulls out his phone and presses record.

Wanda reveals what she was hiding, and you immediately gasp at the sight of the beautiful flowers. “Well aren't you just a gentle woman my dear? These are beautiful Wands. Thank you.” She smiles as you bring them a bit closer to your nose and sniff them. “Not as beautiful as you.” She cringes, and you immediately burst out laughing. “That was sweet but it was definitely the cheesiest thing I've ever heard you say.” She nods.

Tony agrees quietly and Bucky hits the back of his head.

“So um….Butterfly.” You nod to acknowledge her. “I was- I was thinking recently and um…” Your phone begins to buzz, and you simply place it in your purse as you give her your full attention. “Well…” She takes a glance at the group who's still in the doorway, and they all send her encouraging smiles. It's then that you notice them, sending them all confused smiles before looking at Wanda again.

She's taking one last deep breath when Jarvis suddenly alerts the house. “There is a woman named Vanessa Tanner at the front gate, saying she's here to pick up her date.” Natasha and Bucky instantly panic, looking at each other before going back to Wanda.

As if those are the magic words, Wanda's eyes widen and she begins to ramble, “I really, really, really like you Butterfly and I know you may not feel the same way but Natasha and Bucky said you did and I figured that if there was a little bit of hope, I should try it.” A shocked look takes over your face. “It's totally fine if you don't feel the same way but I just couldn't let you go out with that bimbo named Vanessa if there was even a small chance you liked me….half as much as I do you.” She doesn't take her gaze off the floor, and she takes your silence as an answer as tears fill her eyes.

“Wanda. Look at me.” You demand, but she shakes her head no and continues to study the carpeted floor. “Wanda. Look…at…me.” She slowly looks at you, and the happiness in your eyes is enough to make her let out a small sigh of relief- not complete relief though. 

“I wish you had told me this before I practically threw myself at a woman I barely know. Because I'd much rather you be the one picking me up for dinner than Vanessa.” You both giggle, and she hesitantly asks, “So...what does that mean for us?” 

Natasha rolls her eyes and Tony shouts, “Ask her out you dumbass!” It's clear he's talking to the witch in front of you and she blushes red as she glares at him before turning back to you. “He's right. So, would you like to go out with me Butterfly?” 

You take a moment to pretend you're thinking about it before asking playfully, “And what would we do on this date Miss Maximoff?” She hadn't really thought about it, so she takes a minute to do that before declaring, “I'd take you out to dinner, not a fancy restaurant with food you hate, but your favorite dinner a few streets away. And then I'd take you dancing to that place we went to for your birthday because you had a lot of fun there, and then I'd bring you back here and make you a homemade dessert. Your favorite.” You smile. “Then yes, I’d love to go out with you Wanda Maximoff.” You lean in a bit to kiss her cheek, and she blushes a bit.

Suddenly, cheering erupts and the sound of a confetti popper going off can be heard. “What the hell Tony?” Wanda asks, but both of you can’t help but chuckle. He grins. “This long lasting nightmare of having to be around you two’s sexual tension is finally over!” Natasha smacks his arms and questions, but it’s more like telling him what to say, “Don’t you mean, “I popped that confetti popper because I’m so happy two of my teammates have finally found happiness”?” He’s silent for a minute before he laughs loudly as says, “No. Not at all. I meant to say, this long lasting nightmare of having to be around you two’s sexual tension is finally over! Let’s party baby!” You giggle, but Wanda narrows her eyes, letting them glow red. Suddenly, the second unused confetti popper in Tony's hand flies up to be level with his face, and he mumbles, “Well shit” right before it goes off. 

While he’s spitting out small pieces of paper from his mouth and trying to blow them out of his nose, the doorbell rings. “It is Vanessa Tanner.” Jarvis notifies, and you start to walk to the door with Wanda hot on your heels. “Where are you going?” She questions with a hint of sadness in her voice as she’s sure you're going to go on that date with Vanessa even after everything just happened. 

“I’m going to go tell her it won’t work out.” You say casually, and the smile is right back on Wanda's face as she uses her powers to freeze you in place and run ahead of you. You simply laugh, calling out, “Wanda! Wanda!” She turns around for a second to look at you. “Be nice please?” She giggles. “It’s nice of you to think I can do that Butterfly.” She runs off to go probably harass Vanessa, and you're left frozen in the hallway with a small chuckle. 

What Wanda doesn’t know is that you’d been waiting for that day even longer than she had. She’d always been it for you, ever since the first day she came to the compound. But over time, you slowly lost hope she felt the same way, and decided to just move on. If Wanda hadn’t done that sudden declaration of love, the future you two eventually have together would have never happened, and that's something you now think about daily.

[autisticlalna]

don’t have the braincells to do anything with this, so i figure i could just throw this out there for, like. the five people who’d know what this is.

anyway: sbk shadow people au 👀?

YOU HAVE GIVEN ME INFINITE POWER

a quick recap of what Shadow People AU is: alternate universe where 1.15, on top of everythin else it Actually added, included a poorly-documented new mechanic where you could summon a black-and-yellow shadow copy of yourself. if you killed your shadow you would get a copy of everything you had in your inventory when you summoned it, but it would also be stronger with each death. if a shadow dies enough times, they can evolve to the point of being able to strategize, to build, and to communicate. oops! theyre self-aware!

there's a lot more to it than that, but ill explain as we go. because my favorite thing to do ever is apply this concept to different mcyt series and explore what might happen, and ive been toying with makin a variant for sbk. SO LETS GOOOOOOO

Viking would use his shadow to dupe materials and as an extra hand when buildin farms, so his shadow would develop to be more work-focused i think. zeroes in hard on a task and will not give up until its done. leave him alone he's got Shit To Do. either Viking gives him a cool mythology name, he continues the season nicknamin scheme to match Summertime, or Avid calls him somethin dumb and it sticks.

Vintage gets Antique. bottom text. i can actually just point at Antique as-is and go "yeah that's her shadow" LMAO. recolor the colored bits yellow and give her her eyes back and Antique is good to go. fun fact: the only* thing that can kill a shadow is their summoner or another shadow. run.

(* theres more than that but this post is already pretty long. spau is Big.)

Ruby is probably where we first run into the idea of "entity corruption", because god knows whats going on with Cherruby. basically if you've gotten corrupted by an entity in any way (eg Scar and Cub havin Vex magic, Watcher Grian, Karl Jacobs gettin put in the time travel blender), that bleeds over to your shadow and can cause... problems. i have a lot of thoughts about how this applies to TSMP specifically, but im squintin at Cherruby going what is your deal because there is SOMETHING messin with zhem and whatever it is is gonna mess with xis shadow too.

Avid would not risk havin a shadow. the most obvious reason is bc his shadow would be Super corrupted bc of basically everythin that happened in Nightmares, but the actual reason is that it would look like Avoid and that would freak Avid out too much :,D

rose suggested Marmalade would have the Old Shadows and OOGHGHHHHH FUCK . that goes hard. basically there's an associated dimension called the Shadowlands, and you can royally screw up your shadow's data by goin there before theyve finished forming for the first time. the outcome is a maxed-out shadow with a god complex that is capable of whatever you think its capable of. Marm might've drawn a connection between the Shadowlands and the Void, tried to use it as another way to get down to the Limbo border when the Void wasn't lettin her in, and instead got the Abyss equivalent. probably just named Void because of initially assuming theyre an extension of the Void itself.

Trog would be the runner-up for the Old Shadows, i think, but also they probably thought about it and went "nah" and forgot to warn anyone else that thats a thing. continues the trend with my Trog hcs of lookin perfectly normal and Not Being Normal At All. not entity corruption, just, like. corruption corruption. somethin broke here.

wait lmao i just realized something really funny and its that Fool's shadow would literally just look like him but all shadow-y. bc Fool already normally has the yellow/gold cracks. solar probably will have more ideas on what to do with this guy but i am proudly announcing that it is now Two Of Them Thursday

i cant decide if Leon's shadow shows signs of ender-ification before he does, or if he stays Completely Normal while Leon mutates. the latter is probably more interestin bc shadows gettin messed with is a pretty common trait in the au so havin a situation of "the shadow is normal while their summoner gets more and more fucked up" is fun. also: shitpost incarnate. this penguin cannot be stopped by any mortal means

i dont know how the tube thing would affect the shadows, is the fun part. like, "mechanically" the way the shadows work is they're tied to playerdata, so the likely idea is that Cloneby would have Cherruby's shadow. that's fun and fucked up!

fun side note: shadows are ground bound. they can do the kingdom hearts heartless thing of going flat to travel up surfaces and fit through spaces but they cannot jump over gaps. skyblock is maybe the worst experience for a shadow ever LMAO