#bless videos without filters | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xiaomoxu · 3 years

Text

Lucien - Leisure Light Date

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

A date from CN server which hasn’t been released on EN server yet.

It turned out I have some time for translating this date before I have a date with some works later~ please enjoy a sweet moment on their leisure time ^^

Translations under the cuts~

In the middle of the autumn, the sun willingly spilled into the living room, and the fragrance of sweet-scented osmanthus was lingering on the tip of my nose. I took a deep breath and opened the long-awaited book.

MC: Where did I read it last time..."The psychological effects that should be avoided in business management" seems to be here.

Before I read a few lines, the news of the company group suddenly jumped out, I was a little confused and opened it.

Kiki: Guys! I found the most unbeatable challenge on the entire network!

Kiki: It's the actor who worked with us last time! We sincerely invite everyone to try it!

Kiki said and sent a link to the video, with the title saying "no temptation challenge, 100% failure."

MC: 100% failure is too exaggerated...

I was about to open it when Lucien sat beside me at some point and put two glasses of juice with lemon slices on the coffee table.

Lucien: Looking at what?

MC: Kiki posted a video just now, it's very popular recently, called "no temptation challenge."

I put the phone between us and Lucien glanced at the screen, showing a thoughtful expression.

Lucien: Several young interns in the Institute also watch this type of video recently.

MC: Hahaha I didn't expect this craze has spread to the group of scientific researchers.

Thinking that the interns in the institute are all boys, I blinked, took Lucien's arm, and looked at him meaningfully.

MC: Did Professor Lucien also watch it? Don’t you wanna share it with me?

Lucien was amused by my look, his eyes curled up, and there was a hint of cunning in his eyes.

Lucien: Would you be angry if I said I had seen it?

MC: Not to that extent, it's just a little bit concerned.

Lucien: Really? Then why your mouth is pouting.

MC: It isn't.

Hearing this, I pursed my mouth deliberately, but saw the smile on Lucien's face wider.

Lucien: Your "a little bit of concerned" makes me very happy.

Lucien: But what I just said is just a hypothesis. The actual situation is...I haven't seen it.

MC: I guess so, after all, a busy person like Professor Lucien would not kill time in this way like me.

Lucien: Oh? It seems that MC have seen it a lot?

Lucien: I am a little curious, from the perspective of a big producer, what would it look like.

MC: In fact, I watched it mostly when I was looking for inspiration for new programs with my colleagues, and now I don’t see much impression.

Now that I think about it, I have never faced this "no temptation challenge" with the mentality of an audience.

Seeing the lemon stuck in the mouth of the juice glass, an idea came to my mind.

MC: Since we have never played, how about playing together once?

Lucien: With you, of course.

Lucien: However, I didn't know much about the specific rules.

Lucien: Is it literally? As long as there is no temptation in the moment of the challenge, it is considered successful?

MC: That's right.

MC: As for the punishment if we failed, let use these two lemons.

Lucien: So how can we judge whether a person is being tempted?

MC: Mostly in this situation, people's temptation will show on their faces.

As soon as the voice fell, I found Lucien's gaze was looking at me, as if he was thinking about some episodes of the past.

It was confirmed that something was normal, and his eyes were stained with a smile.

Lucien: Well, this statement can indeed be proved by you.

My cheeks were a little hot unconsciously, and as expected, before this person, my mind had never been able to hide.

MC: Suddenly I feel that this challenge is too easy for you. After all, Professor Lucien is very good at hiding his mind...

Lucien reached out and squeezed my palm.

Lucien: Isn't the "no temptation challenge" that is the easiest way for me to fail, right in front of my eyes?

Looking at Lucien's serious face, I blinked.

MC: Really, let me demonstrate the reaction of Professor Lucien's heart this time!

Lucien: This classmate seems very certain that I will fail, have you forgotten...You need to work hard for your challenge first?

MC: Humph, my challenge is just watching the video. I must be expressionless all the time.

Lucien: Then I will study by the side, your excellent demonstration.

MC: I must take the lead~

I responded to his ridicule with a smile, moved closer to him, picked up the phone and clicked on the link.

Unlike ordinary challenge materials, many roles that the actor has played are edited in this video.

There are gentle scholars in white shirts, chic and dusty knights, mysterious and mad assassins, cute and considerate neighbor....

There are many types, and it seems that no matter what the audience’s aesthetic orientation is, they can always find something that suits their minds in this video.

Although I knew the technique very well, my mood was gradually aroused by the slow jazz music and the right lens flare.

The finale was a cold-faced agent wearing a dark trench coat and holding a black technological cane.

Seeing the back of the character walking calmly in the smoke of gunpowder and hunting wind, another person suddenly appeared in my mind.

Dangerous, mysterious, and people want to follow and approach.

He must be very suitable for this appearance...

Thinking of this, I couldn't help but look up at Lucien, but I was falling into his gaze.

I was reflected in his eyes, and the corners of his mouth were curled up unconsciously because of my own cranky thoughts.

MC: You, don't look at me first!

I rubbed my face eagerly, trying to drive away the clearer image in my mind.

Under the slowly stirring music, the video has been replayed a second time, and my sight was blocked by a glass of juice.

Lucien: It turns out that our well-informed big producers will also be defeated by this challenge.

I was speechless for a while, and turned my face up to Lucien, blinking and pursing my cheeks to quibble.

MC: This challenge video is really cunning, the character is different from the real person, and there is a lot of room for people to associate...

Lucien's gaze fell on me faintly, which made me unconsciously think of the other side of him again.

With a guilty conscience, I averted my eyes and squeezed the lemon slice in front of me.

MC: Well, I am willing to accept punishment!

The sour lemon scent exploded in my mouth. I frowned and covered my mouth, curling up my toes.

MC: It's... sour!

Lucien looked at my sour expression so that I couldn't speak clearly, and smiled for a while before putting the glass in my hand.

Lucien: Drink slowly, don't choke.

The taste of orange and mango dilutes the sourness. I put down the bottomed glass and took a long breath.

MC: I shouldn't be curious about Kiki's stuff...

Lucien: But a certain classmate was very happy just now, and she didn't blinked her eyes.

Lucien: Speaking of which, since it is the actor you have worked with, then I am very curious.....

Lucien: At the scene, are you taking that seriously too?

The implications of this question are self-evident.

I held Lucien's arm and leaned in front of him, looking into his eyes

MC: At the scene, I have to coordinate the shooting and control the progress. How can I look at someone so seriously?

MC: For Professor Lucien who is a program consultant, isn't it very clear?

MC: In fact, when I was watching the video, I smiled because I thought of you.

I talked more softly as I speak, while watching his expression.

Lucien: Well, I guessed it, because at the end of the broadcast, you looked up at me.

Guessed it? Thinking of Lucien's words and deeds just now, I blinked in a daze.

MC: That… but you still....

The person before me seemed to finally couldn't help but smile, and the corners of his lips pulled out a beautiful arc.

Lucien: I am just like you, only "a little bit concerned".

Lucien: Of course, I also want to see how you concerned about me.

Lucien's coquettish tone inadvertently made me want to coax him again.

MC: I always concerned about you.

With that said, I looked at him pretentiously.

MC: Hmm...I found that our Professor Lucien still looks the best, without any make up and filters!

Seeing my eyes brightly pleased, Lucien raised his index finger and tapped my forehead with his knuckles, looking helpless.

Lucien: Judging from the range of people you have contact with, such an evaluation seems too exaggerated.

MC: This is the truth.

Lucien: You....

MC: After all, "the beauty is in the eyes of the lover".

Lucien: For this point, I can feel the same.

He spoke bluntly and sincerely, as if he didn't feel embarrassing what he said at all.

I looked away unnaturally, trying to hide my blushing cheeks, and inadvertently saw the book on the table that I was holding upside down.

MC: Puff—it’s also a coincidence that I just read the phrase "beautiful in the eyes of a lover" in a book.

Lucien moved his gaze to the book in my hand and raised his eyebrows.

Lucien: "Business Management and Psychology"? This is mentioned in this book, which is a bit surprising.

Seeing that he was interested, I simply picked up the book and shared it with Lucien.

MC: Well, when I read about the "halo effect", a short example in the book mentioned "beauty in the eyes of a lover".

MC: In fact, people are not only easy to perceive the heart from the outside, but also generalize from the inner character traits to the appearance evaluation.

MC: Therefore, what we often say "beauty in the eyes of lovers" is also a manifestation of the halo effect.

Lucien: Using this example to explain the "halo effect" is indeed small and easy to understand.

Lucien: However, it is placed in the whole module of "The psychological effects that should be avoided in business management", which seems to be too rational.

MC: I don't know if I, with the blessing of "halo effect", can I let Professor Lucien challenge and fail?

Lucien smiled and picked up the glass and took a sip of juice.

Lucien: Do MC want to see how I eat lemons?

I looked at the piece of lemon on the mouth of his glass that had lost some moisture, and shook my head.

MC: No need, this slice of lemon is a bit dry.

MC: How about changing the penalty for failure to... before the end of the fall, how about taking time to accompany me on an autumn outing in the suburbs?

Lucien: Well, we really haven't been to the suburbs for a long time.

I turned around and hugged him with joy.

Lucien encircled me and stroked my hair which hanging behind my shoulders with his warm palms.

MC: What to do, this failure punishment is very tempting to me.

Lucien gave a low laugh, pressed against my chest and shook lightly.

Lucien: It's not difficult to make my heart beat faster. Perhaps, this challenger and referee can work hard.

MC: Hm...

The steady and powerful heartbeat hit my auricle, and I suddenly had an inspiration.

By the way.. Accelerated heartbeat is also a way of judging your heartbeat, right?

I lifted my head from his arms and blinked.

MC: I have a way to record the moments of Professor Lucien's heartbeat!

I took off the smart watch in my hand and pulled Lucien's hand.

The internal test of the watch strap also carried the body temperature, and it was tied to his well-defined wrist.

Lucien squinted his eyes, his lips lifted up with a helpless smile.

Lucien: I remember you said that you bought it to supervise your health management. Unexpectedly, entertainment functions could also be developed.

MC: Make the best use of it!

I entered the data on the app and nodded with satisfaction.

MC: I set up a function that sounds when the heart rate is exceeded.

MC: Now even if Professor Lucien controls his expression well, his heartbeat will be exposed.

Lucien: Miss referee is so strict, it seems I have to be careful.

MC: Of course, I have to be strict with a smart person like Professor Lucien. It’s not that easy to make your heart beat.

Lucien: Yes?

Lucien: But you obviously can do it all the time.

Lucien spoke naturally and even took a leisurely sip of juice.

His unsuspecting state seems to be suitable for "raid".

I moved inwardly, pretending to lean towards him inadvertently, and slowly stretched out my hand to touch the corner of his lips.

MC: There seems to be some juice here.

Lucien smiled and cooperated with me and lowered his head, letting my thumb slowly rub his clean lips.

Lucien: It seems to be stained a lot.

The warm breath brushed my fingertips, making a sultry itchy.

My heart was beating like a drum, and I raised my head and moved closer--

Suddenly the cell phone ringing abruptly, breaking the atmosphere at this moment.

I hurried not to show a hot face, grabbed the phone and handed it to him

MC: You, you answer the phone first!

Lucien chuckled and touched my hair naturally after answering the phone.

Lucien: Lectures... My schedule may affect other people's work arrangements, so I need to checked it again.

I turned my head and looked at Lucien's profile quietly. He responded to the phone as usual, with no trace of heartbeat.

Probably my eyes were too straightforward. When the phone was turned off, he looked at me, pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows.

Lucien: Isn't the juice cleaned yet?

I straightened the hair around my cheeks, trying to hide my red cheeks.

MC: No, I want to tell you... the challenge is success.

Seeing that he didn't say anything, I hurriedly changed the subject and asked him about the lecture.

MC: Is the time for new lecture invitations out of schedule?

Lucien: Well, the time of the lecture has collided with the shooting schedule of next weekend. I am about to ask for your suggestions.

I reviewed the shooting arrangements in my mind and got an idea.

MC: How about postponing that part of your shooting until next weekend? So you can go to the lecture!

Lucien: That...Thank you for the "black box operation" of the big producer. Please say my apologies to our colleagues in the program team.

MC: Okay, don't worry about this.

We tacitly stopped the topic of work and continued to enjoy the long time of the holiday.

Lucien leaned back on the sofa in a relaxed manner, the light golden spot flickering under his eyes, and he closed his eyes.

MC: You got up a bit early to make a breakfast, are you sleepy?

Lucien smiled and held my hand, and hooked his fingers like a baby.

Lucien: Maybe because it’s autumn, can you take a nap with me here?

I nodded lightly and leaned against his shoulder.

I don't know how long it took, but in a trance, I heard the rustle of leaves blowing in the wind.

I opened my eyes, and the shadow of the tree on the floor danced slightly, and there was nothing beside me, with only a blanket still covering my body.

The breeze blew the white gauze curtains, and there was still the breath of laziness after a nap in the air.

I stretched my waist and heard a small noise from the study, so I got up and walked towards it.

The door of the study was closed. When I opened the door, Lucien was sitting at the table, shrugging his shoulders and listening his mobile phone casually.

His hair is a little messy, and his legs are covered with a blanket. It looks like he just woke up.

But his eyes were serious about looking at the shorthand notebook in his hand, and he had clearly entered the working state.

The cap of the pen was bit between his teeth, and the rustle of writing sounded intermittently, making the room more quiet.

He recorded something enthusiastically, occasionally answering the person on the other end of the receiver briefly.

Lucien: Mm-hm.

Maybe a new proposition is brewing at the tip of his pen, maybe he is calculating one of the thousands of possibilities.

The bright sunshine poured in through the floor-to-ceiling windows and enveloped him in warmth.

Lucien looked up and saw me, took the pen cap in his mouth and the phone on his shoulder, and gently covered the microphone with his wrist.

Lucien: It will be over soon.

I walked over lightly, and got into his arms in his somewhat surprised eyes.

The surprise in his eyes was replaced by a gradually widening smile, and he held a shorthand notebook around me.

I rested on Lucien's shoulders, his collarbone was exposed and he looked extremely white in the sun.

As if bewitched by some sort, I lowered my head and dropped a kiss on the delicate skin.

Suddenly, the smart watch beeps twice.

My cheeks warmed a little, and I wanted to get up helplessly, but the shackles on my waist didn't mean to loosen the slightest.

The person on the other end of the phone finished the report and was saying goodbye to Lucien.

Lucien: Let's do this first, thanks for your hard work.

Lucien hung up the phone, put the shorthand notebook full of calculations aside, and took off his watch by the way.

MC: Am I interrupting your work?

I looked up and saw a warm light and a particularly soft smile in his eyes.

Lucien: I think strictly speaking, work interrupts us.

I glanced at many places on the shorthand notebook with question marks and blinked at him.

MC: There are many remaining issues, no need to deal with it?

Lucien: It doesn't matter, it's too late to wait until the working day. Now I have more important things to deal with.

MC: Is there anything more important than research?

Lucien: Of course there is.

Lucien: I just thought that usually challenge games should have rewards as opposed to punishments, right?

MC: Um... we did not discuss the rewards

Lucien: But when you hugged me just now, I thought of what kind of reward I wanted.

The pupils of Lucien's eyes glowed brightly when he looked at me, and soft ripples fainted under his eyes.

Lucien: Next weekend, I don’t want to miss the time I spent with you like today.

Lucien: So... can I be greedy and let you accompany me on business trips?

Lucien: As compensation, maybe we can realize your autumn outing plan together in a farther place.

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc lucien #lucien #mlqc translations #mlqc date

96 notes · View notes

rosesastrology · 4 years

Text

THE MOON SIGNS

In astrology, your moon sign represents your emotional nature, habits, reactions, wants and needs. The way your moon sign manifests will differ because of the house it's in and any applying aspects to the moon. If you don't relate to the description, that can be why. The whole chart should be taken into account, nonetheless if listed things I’ve seen commonly represented by these Moon signs!

Click here for part 2 (Libra - Pisces)

— By @rosesastrology on Tumblr.

Aries Moon

Very emotional, but may choose to show another exterior (Sun/rising).

Usually grows more mature as time passes, but keeps their intense emotions and occasional childlike energy. They often want to do things on their own, without help. Even when they're growing up, they're quite independent.

Anger is explosive but often short-lived, although they can be the type to want revenge and hold a grudge- the actual anger doesn't last long. It comes up in waves. They can be quite nasty during that short time though, often saying things they don't actually mean just because they're in the heat of the moment.

They have waves of sudden inspiration and deep passion, but also of nostalgia and deep sadness. Their mood can change quite quickly.

Often, these people will be inclined to do some sort of physical activity because they want to see the best version of themselves and vent those intense emotions. This can also manifest in a fast-paced, busy lifestyle or just a brisk walking pace.

Their careers are often a form of self-expression.

They tend to go with whatever feels right in the moment, which can make them quite impulsive.

Their humour is quite childlike. They also tend to get embarrassed quickly (but they'll say embarrassing things all the same).

Tend to start working at a young age, or do something else that you’d usually expect from an older person.

They have a big sense of pride and ego, which can make it almost impossible for them to ask for help. The way to comfort them is often just by listening to them. Talking is not needed, unless you're reflecting back what they said. They enjoy feeling heard. They don't want you to make it better, they want to be heard.

They want to be recognized and acknowledged. They enjoy helping, even if it's just for them to feel better. They stand up for themselves, they will defend their emotions. They refuse to get crushed. In the same sense, this will make them help the underdogs.

Often, they have a sense of empathy but only if the mood is apparent. They can become very ticked off or confused by things like passive aggression. It can be difficult for them to put themselves in someone else's shoes, unless the other person reminds them of it. Then they will be more than glad to help. Direct communication and reflection books the most results with them.

They have a tendency to only help if you ask them directly.

They're quick to jump into things and tend to have strong opinions (feelings) even if they don't show them outwardly. Most do show them outwardly and can seem temperamental.

They tend not to have a filter and can seem quite savage, often immediately saying what's on their mind (whether good or bad). This is not to say that they can't control themselves, though.

Tend to feel impatient.

Are actually very undiplomatic.

They go through fire for those they're close to, and won't hesitate to sacrifice themselves. They tend to want to be someone's saviour or hero. This can come forward in their career, too.

They always want to keep moving. They want to make progress and continue. This is why letting go is often not the easiest for them, especially if they have a prevalence of air and earth in their natal chart.

Later in their life, they can be very autonomous and great leaders.

They can almost seem to be drunk on their own self and pride but in reality they’re just confident.

Thoughts tend to be superficial, thinking about practicalities or beauty unless other topics are stimulated.

Can be insecure, especially early in life.

Good at performing. Often their talents lie here.

They don’t necessarily struggle with letting go, but with loss itself.

They’re do-ers.

Persistent to reach goals. Very motivated.

Taurus Moon

Often, these people are artistic or at least have an appreciation for the arts.

They often enjoy cooking, if not they will enjoy eating. They have a very peculiar taste and opinion about how food should be. Often it's not too complex, and they tend to order the same thing at restaurants. They enjoy those types of routines, even if they like variety in their daily life.

They can come across as soft-spoken, sheltered people who enjoy staying in.

They tend to fixate on the past, or at least do a lot of reflection. Reflecting is their source of motivation.

Sacrifice breaks them apart. It's one of the things that will truly, truly touch them.

They just have a general sense of maturity and kindness, even if they have a childlike humour (depending on their placements), they will always have a sense of reliability and resilience.

They always strive for greater heights and can be hard on their past self, often linking their worth to their skill.

It's hard for them to shake off their emotions.

Not as materialistic as everyone makes them seem. Most Taurus Moons I know are actually the crash and burn type of people and have no attachment to their materials. Comfort goes above anything for them, they don't need much- they just need the right things. They tend to have strong opinions about that.

They always seek to understand their partners, even if it's in a situation where they didn't do anything wrong.

Can seem distant or hard to reach.

They're very sentimental and nostalgic.

Tend to have a pleasant voice.

They can have a very hard time letting things, people or experiences go.

They're very hard to convince.

They have a lot of emotional strength and resilience. They're always growth-orientated.

Escapism can be an issue because of their emotional need for comfort. However, this tends to lessen eventually.

They have a great love for nature. Animals, plants, space, people- they love all these things. They are fascinated by things that are bigger than them, the whole picture. That's why nature and space fit so well with them.

They tend to be mature and laid-back in relationships- some will find this boring but it actually gives a sense of home and comfort that you won't find anywhere else. Compromise is key.

They tend to believe that humanity as a whole can improve. They want to make the world a better place in a tangible way. This is why they're the type to donate to direct charities- they're generous and love seeing a form of tangible improvement. Tangible good.

Extremely loyal.

Direct in communication, often they talk about their past. Past experiences and nostalgia stand central in their emotions. They focus on growth.

If someone says they can’t do something, they will go out of their way to do it just to prove the other person wrong.

Self-sufficient. Good at handling criticism.

They can actually be quite moody.

They often talk about their past.

Grounded but they tend to want to know reasons. This includes reasons for their feelings.

Gemini Moon

Emotions and actions are rationalized.

They think before they talk (although they can snap).

They can be more unruly with their emotion when they're young, as well as when they're very stressed or feel as though their conclusions contradict one another.

Their intelligence is admiring, even when it's not traditional.

Tend to be apolitical because they see it as a promotion show rather than an exchange of ideas.

They find education/their work very important and prioritize this above their health.

They often follow traditions when it comes to the educational path, but tend to be more extravagant when it comes to creativity and self-expression.

They often enjoy reading one way or another, whether it's literature, poetry or manga or visual novels doesn't matter.

Very communication-orientated.

They tend to know a lot of psychological facts and tricks, which they use for self-betterment but also on others.

Confidence comes and goes as it pleases.

Doesn't do well with contradictions, especially if it's a contradiction about their own issues. They need reasons and conclusions to fix the issue, even if it's about emotions. This is both a blessing- they are focused on fixing the issue to grow, and a curse- they rarely ever go with the flow or go with what they truly desire.

Strong opinions that they love to discuss. They're not necessarily the type to start the discussion, but they will engage.

They’re extremely curious about a wide variety of topics.

Everything is based on their logic, so if it's faulty they feel like a failure.

Tend to be uncomfortable with risks and change, although they enjoy variety.

They're planners, they're generally not spontaneous.

They have a lot of different sides that they show to different people, it's like their personality has archetypes- but it's still all them.

They tend to know a lot of random facts.

Often enjoy mental stimuli in the form of media, movies, videos, video games, reading, studying, etc.

Quick-witted yet scatter-brained, they tend to confuse themselves.

Not the most organized people, even though they're planners, it doesn't directly correlate to their surroundings.

If they can't find a viable solution they can end up feeling as though they're crazy.

Inventive although they'd never call themselves that.

Can be the tough love type of people, which doesn't work well with everyone.

Because they're so good at analysing and articulating their emotions, they give good advice.

Flighty.

Will close themselves off if they're hurt.

Has a need to find comfort within their daily commute, whether that's through family, friends or a cafe doesn't matter.

They are connected to the sky- the intelligent yet structured patterns of life give them their smarts. Their intelligence is practical and physical, whereas Sagittarius' intelligence is surrounded around the higher conscience, Gemini revolves around earthly concepts.

The house where the Moon resides often shows what the individual struggles with but will eventually grow immensely through.

They tend to understand themselves better if they write down, or say their conclusions- even if they are very obvious.

They don't want to be controlled by their emotions, but it doesn't mean they don't honour them.

They tend to analyse everyone and enjoy being able to openly talk to someone about that. There is an inherent need to understand everything.

Sensitivity for the abstract.

Defensive over their opinions.

It's hard for them to just feel emotions and be in the moment or go with the flow.

Cancer Moon

Actually very secretive about their emotions, especially towards strangers and people they're not close with.

Changes their personality to fit with the people around them, even if that mans compensating low confidence for seemingly high confidence. Although they do this, they don’t see those friends as true friends, they know it’s fake and see through that.

Will act nice if they want something from you, like buying something for you or straight-up begging.

Family-orientated even if they don’t seem like it. Family means a lot to them. If their home is unstable they’ll be more likely to stay away from their homes, trying to find love and company elsewhere. Nonetheless, the situations hurt them deeply on the inside.

Can be quite moody.

They have a very nurturing and caring side but they won’t show it if they don’t have a connection, in fact they can seem very detached to strangers.

This supposed detachment is solely because they seek to protect themselves.

If they’re not convinced about your intentions or can’t gauge you, they’ll put up a front or wall. This can lead them to ignore people, even if they actually like them. Another reason is because they don’t want to disrupt someone’s life with.. their presence or the depth of their emotions.

They can play push and pull, like how the moon pulls on the ocean.

They go with the flow and the moment which is one of their best skills.

They believe what they believe, they trust their feelings and intuition. This makes it easier for them to understand things on a deeper level, rather than a superficial one. They can persevere very well through hardships because of this too.

They have great memory.

Tend to be very

They apologise for everything.

Tendency towards introversion, they actually prefer quieter places but when they’re younger this is not always apparent because they want to fit in.

Criticism tends to hurt them because they feel like they know best, criticism seems to devalue them in their eyes.

They don’t have a lot of true friends often. Even those who are very popular only see few of their friends as true friends they can count on.

They get antsy when they have to open up because they feel so deeply, they’re often misunderstood.

They’re very responsive to their environment.

Very proctective and defensive (on guard) about their emotions. You may notice they’re upset but they won’t vent. They’re emotionally quite mysterious (outwardly).

If they don’t like you or something you said, you will notice it.

Deep down they’re very emotional.

They often become more family-orientated after having children themselves.

They’re not weak, whatsoever. Mentally, they’re some of the strongest people I know.

They use their emotional resilience to their advantage.

Need a lot of validation and reassurance to truly feel self-sufficient.

Their anger is like a wave and it lasts longer than you’d expect it to. It takes a lot to push them past their limit, but watch out if you do.

Sensitive to outward stimuli such as bright lights or bright noises.

Often attracted to water or the sea in some way.

Can become very selfish when they’re in a bad mental space.

In time, they find their true emotions to be deep and more human than most, in a way. They can deal with these emotions, which is what makes them so resilient.

Can actually accept and feel their feelings without having to understand them which is very admirable. They can just be and feel.

They feel everything on a deeper level, which is why they can also manifest deep happiness into their life.

Leo Moon

They’re very creative and tend to be talented at many things.

Often, they’re good at acting or doing impressions.

Performing is one of their vocal points, whether it’s through music, acting, sports, or their individual talent doesn’t matter.

They can be very insecure and feel as though they don’t matter, aren’t good enough, aren’t pretty enough, etc. In fact, superficial (physical) inscecurity is a real issue with them.

They’ll only be outward (performing, being in the spotlight) when they’re confident. If they’re insecure, it’ll be quite the opposite. They’ll still enjoy attention, but in lesser doses and often with less people.

They’re very empathetic.

They’re generous, giving to others makes them feel better as well (whereas Taurus moons do it to leave something good behind that’s tangible).

Enjoy sharing their forms of self-expression with others.

They can be extremely motivated and persistent to achieve their goals. “Someone has to do it, so why not you?” because of this attitude, they can achieve great things.

Very endearing because they’re so childlike, they’re just so lovable yet bratty.

Validation makes them thrive harder and insults tend to wear them down. They often expect validation, and forget to give it back at times but not out of malicious intent- just out of cluelessness.

Can be a bit dramatic and vain.

They’ll throw a tantrum and then pout and honestly you can’t deny their apologies.

Have an aura of warmth and genuineness. Their warmth just spreads happiness and it’s magical.

Bad at handling criticism, even if it’s constructive it still tends to hurt their feelings. It makes them feel like they’re failures, often because they take things very personally.

Sensitive.

Can be passive-aggressive but won’t admit it.

Can be arrogant but in a way it’s endearing because they’re so forgiving and generous.

Enjoys looking nice physically.

Often, they’re hopeless romantics.

Hard to stay mad at because they’re very charming.

Can be very cruel when they’re angry.

They feel very powerful a lot, you’ll hear them say “How dare you?!” quite a bit.

Doesn’t and cannot hold back if something pisses them off. Very feisty.

Often they have a lot of friends despite their insecurities.

Very energetic and passionate.

They’re like an adult child. They carry all that childlike charm and wit with them. They’re so endearing and kind, yet just as sensitive. This is not to mean that they can’t be mature and serious, because they can and if you treat them like a child then they’ll likely say you’re infantializing them.

The unfortunate sides of the ego can take over when they’re upset. They tend to be straightforward, yet they want to people-please as well. When their ego takes over, they can be annoyed very easily.

They’re impatient for results, better things, people, etc. Practicing patience can help calm their ego.

Rich imagination.

They tend to get annoyed easily, but with the right people they’re annoyed very rarely.

They get especially angry if they feel the action was personal and purposeful.

Virgo Moon

High standards, especially when it comes to themselves.

Extremely sceptical of everything and everyone. They can have big trust issues.

Sensitive to outward stimuli such as people’s energies.

Destructive perfectionism and anxiety is common here.

They’re not emotionless but it’s very difficult for them to express emotions outwardly because they can’t understand them. Since they can’t understand it, it’s difficult for them to articulate those emotions without getting stuck. As such, they tend to repress their true emotions and sometimes motives.

Pets and kids tend to love them.

They’re extremely attentive to every flaw, regardless of if it’s truly a flaw or not.

A big pro of Virgo Moons is their power to pick up on any flaw or difficulty and change it or themselves. As such, they can work on themselves more easily. They’re always changing, growing and striving for the best version of themselves. That’s the true power of Virgo Moons.

They’re very critical, and judge themselves a lot.

Because they’re so analytical, they can pick up on cues, signs and little things other people won’t notice. This serves them greatly in their quest to be useful.

They want to serve or at least help others in one way or another because it makes them feel useful and fulfilled. Even if they’re leaders or performers, in their head they’re working for the purpose or future of someone else. If they’re bosses, they’ll still feel as though they’re working for their employees or family. Performers with this placement tend to feel as though they work for their fans.

They’re intelligent and seek intellectual stimulation through material things like fitness, health and work.

They live from day-to-day, hence why it’s important for them to feel useful in their work.

They naturally give of a reclusive energy. This is partly because they have a tendency to feel that they are better than someone else because they did something better or in a neater matter.

They’re generally mature at a young age and were forced to go and grow through many difficulties.

They feel like they have to control their emotions, or at least something or someone. Whether it’s health, a relationship, education or something else.

It’s hard for them to let loose completely, unless they have a fire sun sign.

Extremely dependable in crises.

They have a very dry, sarcastic and dark sense of humour that doesn’t work with everyone. They can overcompensate humour to feel more liked.

They’re always focused on their health and weight.

Actually very neat and generally organised.

Can be very on guard about their emotions.

Rather than rational, I’d describe them as reasonable. There’s a reason behind all their actions, and they seek reason behind actions of others.

They make boundaries for themselves, but at the same time they have a tendency to limit themselves.

They seek to always be useful and needed; to be auto-sufficient.

They seek for functionality and practical efficiency.

Methodical.

Have very soft skin.

They follow routines and systems as well as having a tendency to follow routine, they tend not to believe or follow the “impossible”.

They let their skill and work do the talking, whereas Gemini Moons tend to talk a lot about their skills and intellect.

Incredibly self-aware.

They don’t want to make their internal struggle seem apparent on the outside. They express their emotions in private, and seek to control them for the sake of their image.

They don’t want to repress their emotions but at the same time they don’t want to make it a big deal. They want remain “strong” and “under control” because otherwise they feel vulnerable, which makes them uncomfortable.

They spend a lot of time analysing other people’s emotions.

They often spiral into self-criticism because they find their emotions irrational.

Sensitive to scents and outward stimuli.

They make to-do lists when they’re stressed.

They often feel as though their emotions are a burden to others.

They feel distressed and lost when they can’t find the words to express themselves or their emotions.

Even though they put on a smile, they often seem like an open book aside from their anxieties or sadness.

It takes long for them to open up and they feel stressed when pushed, it works best to wait for them instead.

They crave emotional stability from others.

They always feel the need to be productive and learn new information.

Quite conservative in how they come across.

They often just think about their emotions.

1K notes · View notes

reblogs-by-a-frog · 2 years

Text

Some Modern AU headcannons for Silmarillion elves (+some non elves) that just make sense to me

I ended up writing quite a few dot points, so I'll put them under a Keep Reading thing lol

- Maglor falls into the habit of using pens as hairband replacements while song writing - Curufin has yet to figure out how to do the pen-messy-bun hair trick and it infuriates him. Even more so when Celebrimbor figures out how to do it first try

- Turgon wears exclusively monochrome outfits, and Argon refuses to wear matching socks

- Annatar sends Celebrimbor mis-info tumblr heritage posts like Alexandria's Genesis and Celebrimbor falls for it every. single. time

- Feanor and Morgoth have an ongoing heated Twitter feud - Nerdanel asks why Feanor doesn't block just Morgoth and Olorin thinks it's hilarious free entertainment - In truth, the only account Feanor has blocked is Fingolfin's

- Galadriel and the Feanorian twins made up their own secret language, which they later taught to Fingon too

- In every family photo posted to social media by his siblings, Maedhros, without fail, will have the top of his head cropped out

- Glorfindel sends Ecthelion the wackiest memes and shit

- Idril once called Maeglin "sus" at a family gathering and there's been no peace since

- Galadriel definitely directly @'s politicians on Twitter and calls them fucking stupid

- Nerdanel has a YouTube channel dedicated to sculpting - Her sons all watch every single one of her videos and frequently appear in her videos

- Celegorm tried to take Luthien to court once over ownership of Huan. Now Celegorm gets Huan on weekends.

- The zoom calls omg - Feanor hasn't attended since the very first - Fingon hosts and regularly takes advantage of the Mute Other People Power but will innocently deny it if confronted - Aredhel is the only one, to this day, who has figured out how zoom filters and backgrounds work

- Gil Galad and Elrond built a treehouse which was later invaded by Celebrian and Thranduil - They find Beleg and Turin living under it at one point and all decide to just not say anything

- Glorfindel is the certified owner of the "I lived, bitch" meme

- Beren once ate dirt unironically because he was too tired to realise that it wasn't a cup of coffee beans - As a result of this, Thingol is literally horrified to learn that Beren eats raw coffee beans

- The real reason that Feanor is on bad terms with Fingolfin is because Fingolfin found Feanor's Tumblr account when they were teenagers and leaked it to the whole family group chat

- Maeglin's a movie nerd and knows every line from his favourite franchises, as well as all the obscure behind-the-scenes fun facts

- Finarfin, bless him, still has no idea how social media works but his kids all assure him that that's a good thing

- There's a Discord server. - There's also a secret Discord server for the least problematic of the elves. Nerdanel started it. There aren't many members. - And there's a Maia Only group chat that has never had a single peaceful moment, ever

- No one has seen Caranthir in years because he moved to another country the moment he was legally allowed to, but he still appears every now and again in the Discord chat to react to various messages that have nothing to do with him

- One time when Maedhros and Maglor were babysitting Elrond and Elros, Fingon dropped by and ended up teaching the twins how to braid ribbons into their hair

- Beren and Finrod often go on forest + mountain walks - Luthien and Huan will go with them sometimes

- Someone made an anonymous account to send Game of Thrones memes to Turin. He has yet to figure out who it is. (Spoiler alert: it's Olorin).

- Regular debates between Grey's Anatomy watchers (Celegorm and Curufin) and Scrubs watchers (Galadriel) while the rest of the group chat has to watch - Sometimes Amrod and Amras will google Good Doctor references to throw into the debates just to stir things up even more

- Celebrimbor and Nerdanel collabs on YouTube - Annatar hates this because Nerdanel is actually a non-manipulative craft partner to Celebrimbor, but Annatar can't say anything about it because Celebrimbor loves his grandma. Annatar is losing his mind - Annatar ends up making a whole YouTube channel about craft making purely to spite Nerdanel but honestly she couldn't give a single shit what he thinks lmao. Celebrimbor is blissfully unaware

- Feanor exclusively uses a typewriter because he thinks it makes him look sophisticated - Melian exclusively uses a typewriter because she thinks it's funny

- Luthien refuses to drink coffee

- No one in Fingolfin's house can drive - Fingon is the closest, but he just has an electric scooter

- Idril knows everyone's zodiacs

- Galadriel is a tax evader and no one has intervened yet because she's scary

- Maeglin probably tried to start an emo band at one point, and when that failed, he turned to doing acoustic covers of Evanescence songs in the subway

- Glorfindel once got his hair stuck in an escalator - Ecthelion nearly laughed himself into unconsciousness and Glorfindel had to walk around with a mullet for like three months before his hair started to grow out again

- Thingol likes using the phrase "Back In My Day"

- Elwing pronounces "memes" as "me-mes". So does Maedhros. Therefore, so does Elrond. - Maglor pronounces "memes" correctly, but he doesn't bring it up because he thinks it's funny

- Everyone in Feanor, Fingolfin and Finarfin's houses has little ribbon phone/ bag accessories that Fingon and Curufin made for them

#there's also an ongoing and extreme twitter doxing war between literally every single character #morgoth keeps trying to convince the elves to become anti-maskers but none of them fall for it #bit of a long post but if you know the characters then ur used to reading long works of fiction so I figure it's fine #tolkien #the silmarillion #the silm #modern au

23 notes · View notes

mymedicine · 4 years

Text

Alocasia

or, 7.5k words of blushy harry and sassy y/n

moodboard/inspo tag + my masterlist

sum - y/n doesn’t like people, but she likes harry—even though he keeps fucking this up

warnings - language, alcohol, mentions of sex (not explicit), lots of banter, excessive use of parentheses, umm... veganism?

notes - hiii! for once i don’t really have anything to say other than welcome, to a very fluffy and kind of chaotic one shot. hope you give her a chance and a reblog if you enjoy! <3

Upon moving into his charming downtown apartment, Harry was feeling a lot of things.

He was excited at the prospect of living there, of waking up in his cozy new bedroom, of flipping pancakes in the kitchen with a stunning view of the city skyline, and of lounging on his soft gray couch while watching reruns of Criminal Minds. He was also anxious, and a little annoyed. There were groceries to be bought, chores to be done, bills to be paid (Fuckin’ landlord was an ass for refusing to include utilities in the rent). The cabinets in the bathroom were a little creaky (Do I need some WD-40? Can I afford WD-40?!) He even had to walk up four flights of stairs to get to his door, a task which Harry was keen to count as his daily exercise.

Above all, Harry was lonely. Living alone was a blessing and a curse, he reckoned. He could lounge about without any clothes, dance in the kitchen to the sounds of Folklore (a guilty pleasure), and watch creepypasta videos on YouTube until three am (and consequently stay up til dawn, for fear of nightmares) without worrying about anyone but himself.

But after just two days in the new place, he was concerned that the cost of privacy may not be worth it. Loneliness and boredom weighed heavily on his conscience as he laid on the couch and stared at the ceiling. Not only did he live alone, but he also didn’t have any friends in the city yet. No one to see, nothing to do. Lost, he decided. No direction, no purpose…Only four walls and a bunch of empty cabinets.

And yet it wasn’t even social interaction he craved necessarily—it was purpose, company, and…perhaps some cuddles. He briefly considered the idea of a pet. Maybe a friendly little French bulldog to chase around and be responsible for? Or a fluffy Maine Coon kitty to scratch behind the ear and snuggle at night?

But the bills…the responsibility…The prudent adult deep within Harry knew he was hardly ready to support himself, let alone a helpless animal. He’d have to feed it and walk it and make sure it didn’t shit all over the floor—not to mention the landlord would raise hell if he found out.

Meanwhile, the soft, gentle, maybe a little naive man who dominated Harry’s conscience was craving a friend. Pets were a no for now, so what’s the next best thing? He grappled with the question…Surely, a person was the obvious answer. He wouldn’t mind a pretty body to warm his heart—or, at least, his bed.

Harry stretched his legs out over the arm of the couch—the only furniture he had at the moment aside from his mattress on the floor of the bedroom—and snuggled into his cozy corduroy blanket, craving warmth in the cold apartment. A rainbow cardigan adorned his chest today, draped over a plain white turtleneck that warmed his neck. He liked to keep it cold so he could be snuggly wrapped in his sweaters without sweating bullets. He dug around in the pocket of his cardigan for his phone, eager to receive affection from something other than his clothes.

In retrospect, Tinder had given Harry far more unfortunate encounters with other people (lots of younger girls just looking for a plug and toxic guys who left him on read) than pleasurable ones. But hindsight was always 20/20 and isolation had already planted the seed in his head.

He quickly examined his own profile. It consisted of two photos of him smirking softly (not too serious, but not too eager either), one with his sister and his mum (to show he’s a family man), and a group one with his mates (because sure, he was lonely, but he didn’t want people to know that). There were also one or two shirtless photos (thirst traps, according to Niall) that he’d sprinkled in between the tame ones even though it made him feel kind of icky. Weighing the odds, he’d decided that desperation for matches outweighed the cringey-ness of it all.

His very last photo was the only one where he felt like himself. He was smiling wide in it, wearing a baby blue sweater with a little chick popping out of its egg on the front that Mitch had teased him for back home. His bio, too, showcased his wholesome values.

Harry’s eyes widened as he observed on the first person he saw upon opening the home page—Y/N. She only had two photos—a shot of her perched on a car hood and smiling wide and one far away one with her figure drowning in a sea of…plants. Fittingly, her bio read: “I love plants and I hate people.”

She was beautiful and every bit as anti-social as himself. It was perfect.

Harry laughed softly to himself and swiped right immediately. He was giddy when the familiar It’s a match! popped up on the screen immediately. His thumbs hovered over the keypad, brow furrowed as he frowned at the screen. Matching was one thing, but actually starting a conversation was another entirely.

Ultimately, he decided honesty was the best policy:

you had me at ‘i hate people’ :D

Now what? Matching was one thing, starting a conversation was another, but having a whole conversation was another thing entirely. He hated the waiting, especially when he had absolutely nothing to busy himself with in the mean time, aside from fiddling with his fingers and doing laps around his living room.

Seven minutes later (not that he’s counting), a ding came through on his phone.

y/n: you had me at ‘treat people with kindness,’ mon petit :)

Harry smiled wide. He was pleased she’d noticed not only his bio, but also the sweater he was wearing in his favorite photo of himself. It was the perfect response from a perfect girl.

harry: so what do you do?

y/n: i work at a plant shop on Main

Figures, he thought. He imagined her carrying a watering pitcher, tending to a plant with gentle fingers. She’d be surrounded by them like she was in the photo on her profile, green on all sides. God, he thought. What a beautiful scene with a beautiful star.

harry: wanna go for drinks tonight and talk about plants?

y/n: sure ;)

Nightfall brought a chill to the air that made Harry desperately want to curl up into his warm bed and snuggle into his pillow. But here he was, shuffling his feet outside the crowded bar and absently wearing another tiny hole in the sleeve of his striped sweater. It was a decent bar in town. They didn’t water down the drinks and they kept the lights dim so she wouldn’t have to see him flushed beet red after one drink. That is, if she would show up at all.

“Hey, you’re Harry?”

He turned quickly toward the sound of the voice, and there she was. And holy shit, he thought. That is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Her two profile photos did not even begin to do her justice. The idea of a mere photo on a screen couldn’t even compare to the real thing. He would never be keen to look at a photo again, he reckoned. It wouldn’t make his heart bloom and flutter like the vision of her in front of him did. Was this love at first sight?

“Y-yeah,” he stuttered, and not because the chilly night, “Y/N, right?”

Harry didn’t think he really believed in love—certainly not love at first sight, but this girl was throwing him into another world. Before, he couldn’t seem to stand still, but her presence in front him planted his feet firmly on the ground.

“Yep, that’s me!” She smiled wide, speaking cooly and confidently. It was obvious she knew how beautiful she was and, even more evident, how enamored Harry already was with her.

“I—you’re absolutely beautiful,” The words slipped out of his lips before he could catch them—not that he was really making any effort to hide his attraction for her. Still, he enjoyed the way her eyes brightened and teeth gently nibbled at her bottom lip in response to the compliment

And suddenly, the idea of merely kissing her soft flesh, tickling her sweet bud, and ultimately burying himself inside her tonight didn’t seem like enough. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to smell her hair and hear her laugh. He wanted to make her pancakes in the morning and kiss her lips, sweetened lightly with maple syrup. He wanted to love her.

No, he couldn’t possibly ruin his chance with a girl like this by fucking her on the couch in his cold, lonely apartment, never to see or hear from her again.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“Of course.”

One hour and four and a half drinks later, (whiskey cokes for Y/N, vodka crans for Harry) the cramped bar was hot and they were floating on air. He’d learned that she worked at Main Street Nursery, usually by herself, sometimes with her cousin who owned the place. She was an avid vegan, but only because she hated meat and dairy made her sick. She’d learned that Harry was new in town and lived only a block away from Main. Also, Y/N managed to learn that Harry had no friends here and was very lonely in his new apartment, but only after his third vodka cran when the already weak filter in his throat began to crumble and embarrassing things spewed out of his lips like a spout.

“Let’s dance, H.” Y/N requested, gently caressing his bicep from where she sat beside him.

Oh god. No amount of alcohol would let him embarrass himself like that. “I don’t really… uh—“

But Y/N was having none of that. She thrust his half empty glass in his face, eyebrows raised in a pointed look. “Come on, baby!”

He hesitated for only a moment. Her fingers were soft and warm and distracting against his arm and it was very dark in the crowded bar, but he could easily see her bright eyes and the mischief dancing around in them. Somehow, she looked just as beautiful after putting away five whiskey cokes. Ah fuck. How could he possibly say no to her?

Harry tipped the glass against his lips, downed the bitter beverage, and finally let her tug him to the middle of the room.

A few people were dancing raunchily to the loud music, and the combination of the alcohol and the darkness and Y/N’s effortless beauty gave Harry the confidence to join them. He placed his hands gingerly around her waist, nearly flinching at the warm feeling of her skin against his. Y/N flashed him a blissful, slightly drunken grin and squeezed his bicep more firmly, relaxing in his hold.

Y/N led them in a giggly dance, letting her hands wander Harry’s body and ultimately settle around his neck. Brain foggy with an alcohol induced haze, she swayed her hips against his.

Minutes turned into an hour or so and Y/N had grown quite comfortable in the circle of Harry’s arms, fronts flushed together impossibly close.

“Wanna get out of here?” Her whisper in the shell of his ear was alluring, seductive, sweet, and almost irresistible. But Harry was on a mission—one that only included seeing her again after tonight and, ultimately, making her his. Five vodka crans weren’t quite enough to outweigh his desire for something more. No, this plan didn’t include fucking her. (At least, not tonight).

“Um, I think we should…er—slow down…”

“You don’t...you don’t wanna hookup?” She looked up at him with something like disappointment (or maybe anxiety? insecurity? He wasn’t sure) in her eyes.

“No, it’s just… I—I wanted to get to know you?”

Y/N subtly stepped away from him, just an inch or so, but more than enough for him to notice and consequently panic. “Oh um, It’s okay...I just thought—well, I didn’t think we’d really be getting to know each other…”

Ouch. She obviously was not on the same page as he was with the whole I WANT TO LOVE YOU thing he had going on at the moment. The alcohol thickened his skin a little, easing the sting of her words.

“But if I’m like...not pretty enough or nice enough I—uh...” she was rambling a little—and oh god, she must be wasted if she’s questioning her beauty. Harry’s heart hurt. How could she not see that she was perfect inside and out?

“No, Y/N! You’re perfect…it’s just—“

“I get it, um...”

“I’m sorry, you don’t understand!

“I understand, Harry…I guess I’ll just—go home now.”

Well, fuck. In an effort to prolong his time with her, he’d managed to cut it short and blow his shot to see her again at all. He kicked himself for hoping. Hope for the best, expect the worst, he reminded himself. He was just fine at the hoping part, but the disappointment in the aftermath bit even deeper than his desperate loneliness.

Back to square one.

I’m going for a plant…if Y/N happens to be there then…Harry thought as he approached Main Street, then Y/N will be there. His heart skipped a beat at the thought. He tugged nervously at the sleeves of his sweater—this one white with a “my life is crap” graphic that he found quite funny—wearing another tiny hole in the fabric. He absently regretted not taking a shot or two before impulsively jogging across the block to the plant shop, but he pushed the thought out of his mind. I’m just here to get a plant.

Truthfully, he didn’t know shit about plants, but how hard could it be? Surely, all it took was a little water and a sunny spot. Optimistic, he wandered into the cute little shop. Upon entering, he found it wasn’t really indoors at all—just four walls of greenery with only a few wooden beams as a ceiling, allowing rays of mid-morning sunshine to illuminate the space quite beautifully. Harry couldn’t help but notice how one such ray shone directly on the most beautiful creature in the shop.

The scene was even more delightful than he’d imagined. She looked ethereal doing even the most mundane tasks, he thought. The way her skin glowed in the sunlight in front of a backdrop of lush greenery? Heavenly. He took a few more moments to absently admire her as she lifted a watering can above her head with skilled hands, squinting at the sun while reaching up to water a large, leafy looking plant that hung from one of the beams.

The plant was hanging just low enough to block her view of Harry, so when he gently cleared his throat to call her name, she leaped backward. A loud thud rang out and suddenly, the watering can was no longer grasped between her fingers and her pale pink apron was stained crimson—completely drenched.

“Oh my god!” they both screeched at the same time.

Harry felt the weight of the world on his shoulders as he ran over to her. “I’m so sorry angel,” he said, picking up the now leaking can from the floor. “I really didn’t mean to scare you, oh my god, are you okay?!”

She looked a mess, quite honestly. But even covered in water and sprawled out on the concrete floor, she was cute to him, like a little bud sprouting out of the pot. She looked up at him with a contemptuous stare.

“Harry!” She cried from the floor, “What are you doing?”

While he did appreciate how adorable she looked, Harry was horrified. He hadn’t known her long, but he’d never heard her stutter or seen her blush like that. Even in their brief text exchanges and one night together, she’d always seemed so confident, so effortlessly graceful and calm. “I’m so sorry love, I really didn’t mean to—“

“Why are you here?”

“I-I just...I just wanted a plant and—and… I know you love them, and I thought there wouldn’t be anywhere better to go...”

Y/N’s expression softened as he rambled. “Okay, well, feel free to look around,” She stumbled to her feet, murmuring as she went. She wiped her hands on her soaked apron, trying to clean them but actually just spreading the wetness. “And um…Let me know if you need anything.”

She pressed a tight lipped grin on and her voice went a tinge too high pitched. She was clearly putting herself in customer service mode, but Harry caught a playful glint behind her bright eyes.

Harry flushed red and turned away from her, kicking himself for being so clumsy. He craned his head around the shop, feeling hopelessly overwhelmed. He wanted to ask her for help or at least a gentle push in right direction, but he figured he’d already bothered her enough.

Even with his back to her, Y/N’s presence was distracting. He could hear her feet shuffling around softly, the light clang of the metal watering can against the counter, even the pinging sound from her phone as he wandered the store.

Harry made a few aimless circles around before particular plant caught his eye. It was a modest looking plant, no where near as big as some of the hanging vines and rubber trees that littered the store. It had large, dark green leaves with jagged looking edges and sat pretty in a terra cotta pot near the front of the store.

He decided this plant would suit his needs perfectly (what are those needs again? He asked himself, company? responsibility?). He ultimately ignored his thoughts and the fact that he wasn’t even himself clear on what he wanted and picked up the plant in both arms. He shivered upon realizing that Y/N was probably watching him the whole time as he brought the plant to the counter where she was waiting. Watching him struggle and make a fool out of himself, that is.

“Did you find everything okay?” she asked cordially.

Harry nodded stiffly, unsure what to say. “Mmhm.”

“Have you got others?” Y/N continued making conversation while punching some numbers into the cash register, smiling and avoiding his gaze.

Harry looked up at the same time she looked away from the register. He was a little startled by her question, not expecting her to actually speak to him after what he’d done earlier. “Uh, no. I just moved here, remember?”

“Oh, right—well, you know this is an alocasia?” she said it very gently, with a patient smile. He didn’t like that she was avoiding his gaze before, but now that she was staring at him unwaveringly, he felt like he was under a microscope. Heat rose is Harry’s cheeks. Did the name of the plant matter?

“Uh, yeah? I mean, uh—I had a few back in my old place…” Why Harry? Why is your first instinct to lie?

“So you know what to do with this kind of plant?’

“Um…yeah?” He stammered, speech as rushed and clumsy as the beating of his heart. His sweaty palms further confirmed the obvious—Y/N made him nervous. She wasn’t just beautiful, she was perfect. He felt desperately out of place in front of her here. How could he possibly impress her? After he’d already fucked up more than once?

“I, well—nevermind,” Y/N replied finally, shaking her head. She was still smiling, but now he felt like she was giggling to herself because she knew something he didn’t.

“Did you want to add some Miracle Potion to your purchase today?” she asked, back in customer service mode once again.

Harry did not know what the fuck Miracle Potion was, but it sounded like a rehearsed line she was required to say during every transaction. She was looking at him so pointedly though, and the brightness of her eyes was distracting. How could he say no when she was looking at him like that?

“Yeah, why not.”

And seeing her beam at him with that lovely smile was so worth the extra eight dollars.

Harry cradled his new plant—Franklin, he’d decided—in both arms, awkwardly body-slamming his apartment door to get it open without his hands. First order of business after setting Franklin down on the coffee table was to quench his thirst. He still hadn’t gone on a real grocery trip for the new place, so he’s been living off of trail mix and kombucha. Harry craved kombucha like plants craved water.

Which brought him to the second order of business: research. He sat on the couch with his trail mix, kombucha, and laptop, quickly opening up a search for “alocasia plant care”

And suddenly Y/N’s behavior made sense.

Of course, of every plant he could have chosen at random, Harry’d gone for one of the most difficult, demanding, and definitely-not-for-beginners house plants in the shop.

He had a funny feeling it wasn’t the last time his optimism would get him in trouble.

Harry was frustrated.

It’d been less than twenty four hours since he became a father, and his once green-leafed baby was already browning at the edges. He frowned, peering at Franklin’s crisp leaves as he meticulously sprayed the Miracle Potion into the soil. The once dry dirt was starting to look a little better, but—holy shit!

Harry leaped away from the table, dropping the spray and nearly knocking himself onto his ass. His eyes were wide and his heart was pounding. He felt betrayed and horrified. Y/N never mentioned that there’d be bugs crawling in the soil! But Harry could not unsee the tiny worm-ish looking guy slithering up from the depths of the pot and onto the base of Franklin’s stem.

This was a mistake. A huge mistake. Who has he kidding?

He couldn’t help himself. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone, dialing the plant shop’s number without a second thought.

“Hello, you’ve reached Main Street Nursery! We’re not available right now, please leave a message and we’ll call back as soon as possible.”

“Y/N! S’Harry and, oh my god there’s a bug in Franklin! I was sprayin’ the potion stuff on the soil like ya said to but then there was a big worm thing and I dunno what to do now? I’m scared Y/N, why didn’t ya tell me there’d be bugs?! Holy shit, Franklin’s gonna die, what the fu—“

A beep interrupted his ramblings, which Harry would later be grateful for. He was always a sort of ramble-y type, but adding a pretty girl and a bug-induced panic was more than enough to make him insufferably talkative.

He begrudgingly opened the Tinder app, his only other means of communicating with her. He typed out a lengthy message with rapid fingers, explaining the bug situation in between a series of colorful emojis.

thought you knew what you were doing? Y/N’s reply came in three and a half minutes later.

harry: I lied :(

(No use in lying now).

y/n: that’s alright bub. just relax, I’ll bring you some bug stickers

Bug stickers? What the fuck? He’d already made a fool of himself, so he might as well ask, he reasoned.

harry: why would I want a bug sticker?!!

y/n: just send me your address

He did as she asked, blushing profusely at the thought of her being in his apartment. Oh shit, he realized. She’s gonna be in my apartment. Realistically, he knew she probably wouldn’t even come past the front door. She’d just give him the damn stickers and then go off to whatever better things she had to do. But if Harry has any dominant personality trait, it’s optimism.

So he quickly started to tidy the living space—careful to avoid the coffee table where Franklin and his new worm-ish adversary sat. The plant aside, it’s a cute little place that screamed an unemployed single man lives here. Once the kombucha bottles and gum wrappers are thrown out, he puts way too much effort into swiping the trail mix crumbs off the couch and carefully arranging a throw blanket across the arm of it—she won’t even be coming near the couch, Harry, chill out.

When would she be coming? She hadn’t given him a time. She’d asked for his address…did that mean she was coming immediately? Maybe she’d asked for it to come by later? Or tomorrow?—

A loud knocking at the door interrupted his thoughts.

He should have expected this. Even after only meeting twice, he should’ve known she’d barge right into his living room, skirting right past him to find Franklin. The first thing he learned about her was that she owed plants and hated people.

“Um, hello love,” he said awkwardly, trailing behind her. “Thanks for coming over.”

Y/N looked up from where she was examining the plant’s leaves as if she’d just noticed him lurking behind her (very on brand for her, Harry noted to himself). He was taken with her sudden eye contact. Her eyes had that same sparkly glow as they did in the shop—they got that way when she talked about her veganism and her cousin and her plants.

“I’ve got a bone to pick with you, mister Harry Styles. You’re a liar.” she said plainly. She was frowning at him (Is that a playful frown? He hoped so) “You’re a liar and it almost cost Franklin’s life.”

Harry was, once again, horrified. If he hadn’t proper fucked it up the first two times they met, he’d surely done it now. Y/N loved plants more than she loved breathing, and he’d almost killed one. And he lied to her! Fuck you’re such an idiot Harry...get it together.

Y/N must’ve seen his turmoil, (how could she not? He always did wear his heart on his sleeve) for she cracked a happy grin and smacked him playfully on the arm. “I’m just kidding Harry, for gods sake!”

“But...but the plant—“

“—will be fine.”

“And the...the bug?”

Y/N turned back to the plant and squinted into the soil. She put her hands on her hips over the fabric of her wide pants (Palazzo? Harry wondered absently. They were like those gypsy looking pants that looked super comfy—like, one step above pajamas...and damn where could I get some of those?)

“Is the bug on my ass, H?”

“W-what?” He replied, snapping out of his reverie with wide eyes. No! He blubbered, tearing his eyes away from the yellow fabric to her face, where her lips were pursed and her eyebrows were raised accusingly. He didn’t even mean to be staring at her ass (though it did look cute and peachy in the palazzo pants, he couldn’t help but notice now), but, feeling caught, he blushed sheepishly anyway.

She dropped the accusatory glare, replacing it with a wide smile. “Only joking,” she interrupted his ramblings. “Still reckon you were lyin’ about the bug jus’ to get me over here, though.”

Harry sighed exasperatedly, heart racing as he meandered around the couch toward the table where she was leaning. She kept him on his toes and it was as exhausting as it was enticing.

He got right up behind her and peered over her shoulder at the soil. “There!” He cried, almost having another heart attack at the sight of the little black bug. In a rushed attempt to show her the worm so she could get rid of it, he’d probably put himself way closer to her than necessary. He could feel the fabric of her long pants brushing his toes and her sharp breath hitch against his chest.

“Oh Harry,” she laughed, the sound bouncing off the walls of his apartment like beams of light. Looking away from the danger, he focused his attention on her instead. He couldn’t help but notice how her hair smelled like flowers and freshly mowed grass and ...honey? Something sweet and enticing and natural, like the earth. Like a sprawling meadow or rose garden or—

He’d been effectively distracted by her that he’d almost forgot the reason for his fear, the reason she was even here. That is, until the little bugger was out of the soil and crawling on her finger.

Harry screeched and leaped backward, and this time, he did fall on his ass. Right in front of the couch he’d cleaned for her while she giggled profusely. The gentle melody of her laughter and sweet little coos at the bug softened the sting of embarrassment—a little.

“Aw he’s so cute!” She prodded her other finger at the creature, which really was no bigger than her fingernail, but horrified Harry anyways. “Can’t believe Harry wanted me to come and kill you, sweet little thing.”

He was once again struck by how gentle and nurturing and sickened-sweet she got with plants and animals. Meanwhile she laughed at him and teased him ruthlessly for his dramatics.

“Here,” she said “Hold him.”

She thrust her finger into his hands from where she stood above him. Harry flinched away, but couldn’t move far enough from where he sat with his legs folded and feet planted on the ground. The worm fell into his palm. The tiny impact of it on his skin ignited an explosion of fear through him.

A millisecond passed and it crawled through the hole in the wrist of his sweater, causing his panic to quadruple.

He screamed out loud while Y/N continued laughing at him. “AH!” Harry screamed and flapped his wrists violently, throwing himself against the couch with wide eyes as he felt the horrible tickling of the creature crawling on his skin.

“Stop! Stop Harry, let me!” Y/N stepped closer, ducking between his outstretched legs. She shielded her face with one hand and desperately groped around for Harry’s wrist with the other. Finally, he paused to breathe and Y/N caught his arm in both of hers.

She wrestled his arm to still and calmly plucked the creature from his skin. “Thank God,” she sighed dramatically in relief, holding it on her finger between them. “The little fighter survived your temper tantrum!”

“No!” Harry cried, now shielding his own face from the wrath of the worm.

He watched her get up and drop the bug back into Franklin’s soil, all the while laughing at him.

“You’re such a baby, Harry,” she cooed as she turned back to where he was still sat on the floor, “And no wonder you’re so cold in here. You’ve got holes all in your sweater!”

“I’ve got holes in all my sweaters. My mum used to fix them f’me.” He frowned, missing her and his friends suddenly. Living alone was hard.

“You’re hopeless,” Y/N shook her head as she bent down to sit on the coffee table next to Franklin and sent him endeared smile. “I could fix them for you?”

Harry reeled back and blushed, “You—you could do that for me?”

Yes, living alone was hard and lonely and boring. Harry had been shamefully making excuses to see her for several days now, and yet he was completely oblivious to her doing the exact same thing.

“Sure! Come over tomorrow and bring all your sweaters.”

Harry saw absolutely no reason to object. He could never say no to her, anyways. “Okay, then.”

“In the meantime, take these…” She reached into her pocket and fished out four yellow squares of what looked like...tape?

“These are bug stickers,” she explained. “You tape them around Franklin’s stem and it’ll catch the gnats and aphids and stuff. Won’t kill your new little friend though.”

Despite her teasing tone and his lingering fear, Harry couldn’t help but smile at her while she demonstrated how to tape the bug sticker on. He’d deal with all the goddamn bugs in the world if it meant she’d be pleased with him.

She finished taping it on and turned back to him with an adorable little flourish, as if to say ta-da!

“Can I offer you some kombucha for your trouble?” Harry suddenly blurted.

What the fuck Harry? Who the fuck says ‘can I offer you—‘

“Ew, no!” She interrupted his self-loathing, face twisting in disgust, “Kombucha tastes like dish soap.”

Hurt, Harry reeled back again and a shocked expression graced his face, “You don’t like kombucha?! Don’t vegans like, live for that shit?!”

“This vegan has taste,” she replied with a snarky smirk. “And besides, I’ve got to get back to the shop for work like, now.”

“Oh, okay no problem.” Harry stuttered, “Thanks again.”

“Sure thing!”

And as quickly as she’d busted in, she was gone, leaving the apartment as cold and lonely as ever. Harry frowned, feeling as if he’d blown it once again. No ‘see you tomorrow’ or ‘thanks for having me.’ Chance after chance and still he made a fool out of himself. She hadn’t even told him where she lived! Maybe the offer to come over and get his sweaters fixed had been a pity invite and she actually wanted nothing to do with him ever again. The thought made his stomach churn. Where was his customary optimism when he needed it?

Grumbling, he grabbed a fresh kombucha from the fridge, wishing it was something stronger.

Franklin and his little worm friend’s (Harry didn’t think the bugger deserved a sweet name like the alocasia did—it was still a disgusting creature that made his skin crawl) company did little to satiate the aching loneliness he was feeling throughout the following day.

Finally, a message came through his phone from an unknown number.

unknown: hey harry, it’s y/n! did you still want to come over today?

harry: howd you get my number

Even through a screen, Harry managed to blurt out the first thing that popped into his head. Fuck. Shit. She’s gonna think he’s avoiding the question! He rapidly began composing a second message, but the three little dots appeared and interrupted his flying thumbs.

y/n: your message on the answering machine at work.

by the way, that was hilarious

harry: right, well. sorry for that

and yes, id love to come over.

y/n: no worries, i saved it to listen to when i need a laugh.

haha cool here’s my address

harry: should i bring food or wine or something?

A new wave of anxiety washed over him as he looked at the address she’d sent. Now what? What would they do? Would he just drop off his sweaters and leave? Or would she invite him in? What would he say then?

y/n: just bring yourself and your sweaters, mon petit!

Harry was speechless. Much like the shop she worked at, Y/N’s apartment could rival an actual jungle. Greenery of all different shapes and shades and sizes lined the walls, and while they had the exact same floor plan, it was an entirely different world than the one Harry was living in.

Y/N, meanwhile, effortlessly sauntered deeper into her space. She looked like she belonged there, obviously, but Harry felt like a fish out of water.

“They won’t bite, you know,” Y/N giggled, noticing his apprehension. She was watching him patiently with something like fondness in her eyes. Harry felt her careful gaze on him, but the magnificent green scene around him claimed his attention—but not for long.

Gently, Y/N took his fingers between hers and pulled him deeper into her space. Harry stumbled over his feet, craning his head to look at the plants hanging from the ceiling. How the hell did she even water those?

Y/N couldn’t help but smile. He looked adorable, like a child at Disneyland. She swore his eyes were actually twinkling as the greenery in the room made the color pop against his skin even more than usual.

“This is…incredible,” He said, finally turning back to meet her eyes with his own. “You’re incredible.” He set down his bag of sweaters on the floor by his feet. They could certainly wait.

Something about the praise and the way he was looking at her like she hung the moon was making Y/N absolutely swoon for the man. It was impossible not to notice how much he adored her. He looked at her the same way she looked at Delilah, at all the things she loved. Things. She wasn’t sure she’d ever actually loved a person before. But this man with the holes in his sweaters and the permanent flush in his cheeks was planting himself deep in her heart.

But she’d never let him see that.

“…I make lots of my clothes myself…” She was talking about how she learned to sew from where she was sitting on her couch. Harry noticed that she’d arranged her living room differently than he had. While he had a single gray couch in the middle of the room, her sofa was against the window, inviting the evening sunset to gently warm the pale pink cushions.

“Did ya make those pants you were wearing the other day?” He asked with genuine curiosity, continuing to poke around the plants and knitted blankets and woven fruit baskets that littered the entire space.

Harry turned to face her just in time to catch her flashing a knowing smile. “Yes. Should I make a pair for you as well?”

“Yes, please.”

“I’m sure your ass will look great in them, too.”

“Ah—shut up!” Harry laughed, fiddling with the leaves of one of her hanging plants. He recognized this one.

An easy smile still graced his lips as he murmured “It’s a philodendron,” half to her and half to himself. Now that some of the extensive plant research he’d been doing over the past few days had indeed stuck, it was easy for him to identify by its telltale heart shaped leaves.

Y/N’s eyebrows shot up, “That’s right,” she said, sounding impressed. “She’s called Delilah.”

Harry hummed, unable to focus on words when she was giving him her full attention like that.

“She’d be cute next to Franklin, don’t ya think?” She continued, tiptoeing closer to him. She stood behind him, peering over his shoulder at the plant much like she’d done to Franklin a few days earlier. The fabric of his brown sweater was soft against her fingers as she wrapped her arms around him. Harry tensed. He had longed to do the same thing to her when their positions had been reversed a few days ago, but chickened out. But as always, Y/N’s actions were confident and smooth. The thought of her face against his knit-clad back and the feeling of her soft hands around his middle made his head spin.

Yes, he thought, she’s cute next to everything. She’s fucking adorable…

And again, Harry was struck with the thought that he should have seen this coming. It was such a Y/N move—the way she confidently pressed on his shoulders to sit him on the couch and proceeded to smoothly kneel over his thighs. His heart raced as she sank to his eye level, straddling his lap.

“You’ve got pretty eyes,” Harry said almost absently, as if lost in them. Y/N looked kind of surprised that the words came out of his mouth. She’s sort of confused by him, by the way he makes her feel. He had this nervous, chaotic energy surrounding him, as if his mind was going a mile a minute at all times. It didn’t make any difference to him though—a racing heart didn’t stop him from enjoying the feeling of the insides of her thighs against his.

Y/N suddenly grabbed one of his flushed cheeks in her palm and turned his face to hers, letting him get a good look at her eyes. “Think so?” She grinned with a hint of her customary cockiness.

Harry nodded in response to the playful question, caught up in her smirk. He reckoned it was the hottest thing he’d ever seen. Once again, she proved him wrong when she licked her lip. She studied him seductively while his own eyes, of course, flicked down to where her tongue was swiping over her lips. Her tongue was pillowy, gentle, and…distracting…In the next instant, she’d pulled his face to hers and met his lips with her own.

Despite having been mentally begging for her to kiss him since the moment they’d met, he was still a little caught off guard. Quickly, he began to relish in the feeling of her warm hand holding his cheek and soft lips pressing tenderly on his. He kissed her back gently, but with urgency—as if he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He let his hands wander slowly from her knees up her thighs, her hips, settling comfortably on her waist. His heart skipped a beat when she pulled back a millimeter.

“Is this okay?” Harry let out a concerned whisper.

Y/N smiled effortlessly and nodded. Of course it was okay, it was better than okay.

“Thought I’d proper fucked up my chance with you ages ago,” he murmured against her lips. Now that he’d gotten a taste of her sweet lips, he was truly a fucking goner.

“I thought so too, frankly,” she laughed fondly at him, “But you reeled me in with your charm and wit...” She shook her head and furrowed her brows sarcastically, “...Your true gift for horticulture, your brilliant sewing skills, your excellent taste in beverages...” she continued lecturing him in between sweet pecks on the lips.

Harry giggled at her mock-compliments, tugging her impossibly closer by the waist. She relaxed her chest into his and easily wrapped her own arms around his neck.

“You’re an absolute pest you know?” Harry teased her, confidence growing as she caressed his skin, “I oughta get a buncha those damn bug stickers to catch you!”

“You sure about that?” She smiled bigger, eyes wide and innocent as sat back on his legs. She continued to feed him sweet words as she trailed her fingers down his sweater, the mock compliments melting into sincere ones. Harry’s own smile grew as she mumbled how she adored his soft hands and blushy cheeks and gentle disposition…

Her words were innocent, but her fingers began tracking a sinful course downward, and he twitched in his sweatpants as she cheekily palmed him through the fabric. He was putty in her hands, reduced to a pile of mush by her eyes that twinkled with playful innocence and mischief and unmistakeable lust. The soft hands and gentle, innocent praises falling from her lips were making his cock bloat and head spin. Just as he was getting into it—moaning and whimpering for her to please don’t stop…she shoved her arms between his body and the couch cushion and delivered a firm squeeze to his ass.

“That’s for calling me a pest, you pest!”

She roared with laughter and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tight to her chest.

Harry’s desperate, high pitched whine quickly melted into joyous laughter. He couldn’t help it—she was so lovely and beautiful and playful and cheeky and of course, he should’ve seen a stunt like this coming. She was a pest indeed, but Harry had already decided to love her. Perhaps decided wasn’t the word—no, his love for her sprouted and grew like a strong and beautiful vine holding them together.

“Now how about I make you come for real and then fix the holes in those sweaters like you fixed the holes in my heart?”

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

thank you for reading <3

talk to me about harry and y/n and franklin and delilah!

#harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #harry styles writing #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles #my writing #alo

507 notes · View notes

1ddiscourseoftheday · 3 years

Text

🚨Thurs 17 Dec ‘20🚨

No one will argue, this year has been the worst and I'm not really into that whole 'silver linings to bad things' bit, but... BUT! If the demise of live shows and rise of livestreams meant Zayn deciding to perform for us?! Well. I would be willing to reconsider my whole ass philosophy on life! Unfortunately, despite the excitement (or was it hysteria?) he inspired last night by getting all our hopes up, it might just be a music video? We'll see though. He definitely did register a new song, UNFXWITABLE (!), and then, and THEN: slid a single photo into his instagram story, a truly beautiful old baroque theater stage, fitted with live show speakers and a tantalizingly closed red curtain. The stage lights are on, the seats are empty... prepping for zomething?? It was discovered to be the St George Theater in Staten Island, very exciting, but today more video of them working on whatever they're working on surfaced (a snippet at the theater with a bit of an unknown song audible) that makes it seem more likely they're working on a music video than a livestream set up. Still, we can DREAM. At the very least we're getting a new song any minute now and at best-- Z3 and a video AND a liveztream?? (or prerecorded, that's FINE.) The pap pics the other day were him leaving a menswear boutique (sorry I said home, my bad, it was the usual 'front door to car' walk though) leading to speculation he was getting fitted for zomething zpecial... maybe we'll get to see it soon!

Likely on account of the added European show tickets going on sale today, Louis came online to check in, and also to laugh at old videos of himself, send larries into a tailspin, and best of all, weigh in on and shut down discourse left and right THANK YOU SIR! Louis is happy to walk us all through how not to get Live In London video taken down (“do it on a burner account haha?” tips from the master truly, no one would know better so listen to him); he denies having such an account himself (“maybe I should”) though unlike Liam (see below) HE doesn't go that extra step into obvious lie territory and say he's NEVER had one. On how he deals with comments about his height (which are up again these last few days due to a video circulating that uses math to conclude once again that he is in fact, as documented, 5'9”), “I rise above them,” he zings back, and in appreciation of someone who actually got the joke, “you're on my level,” DOUBLE PUNNING, BOOM but that's not all: he finishes off with the comment that finished ME off, “such a peculiar debate.” REALLY. Peculiar specifically, not like strange or weird or annoying you just... went right in for the Eroda copyrighted word huh. OKAY. Also: no, probably no collabs on LT2 (“doubt it”), yes he loves twitter “in doses, no better way to talk to you lot” (you mean even better than via t shirts?? sounds fake but okay), tells us he is “100% for sure” is gonna get the vaccine, and that “cucumber is shit” which isn't really a discourse we needed him to solve that I knew of but like, okay! Sorted! Antis seethed about him talking to larries and larry UAs and picking a video of him and H singing You and I to reply to, and probably cucumber enthusiasts and anti-vaxxers were unhappy too, but the rest of us? WINNING.

Liam is all over, first appearing in a fisherman's cap that nicely sets of his full and fluffy beard, then demonstrating answering questions for the Naughty List insta filter. He says he has never made a fake social media account, so I guess he's not lurking here reading these or I would guess that if I believed THAT for one second, he also says yes I have lied to my best friend so I'll just chose to believe he means us by 'best friend' since here he is, lying away. Dixie is absent from the recent promo, which is a blessing not just because they don't mesh particularly well but also because she's gotten even more terrible on main, moving from simply allying herself with racists to producing her own racist content- if we're lucky she'll simply fade away along with xmas and we can move on without any of that thank you very much. Liam is still a good BFF to us though: today he's offering himself up as prize in a raffle, you can enter to win a 'once in a lifetime VIP Experience in 2021 with Liam' for a low low £5, funds going to Stagehand's #ILoveLive campaign to support industry workers. And on the 17th day of christmas, my LP Advent Alarm woke me up with... Roman Kemp leading us through a weirdly peppy breathing exercise, backed with both soothing spa music and a sample of Liam's voice taken from the sleep story played over and over at near random intervals! I said it before and I'll say it again, they REALLY should have recorded all the material at once last month, but tbh I am enjoying the chaotic daily scramble to find something to put on the thing that's come of them being caught short maybe even more than I would normal content, it's getting downright experimental and I'm fully here for it. It's got that classic janky af for no reason 1D feel you know!

Rob Sheffield found better things to say about Watermelon Sugar, naming it his number one song of 2020 and calling it “a lost Stevie Nicks/ Stevie Wonder duet” plus gifting us a Harry quote: “that one we reworked a bunch of times, and it died a couple times, then it just kept coming back. We fully killed it a few times, but it kept coming back in. So I thought, There’s a reason it’s surviving.” And Chris Pine- who also says that he's all done shooting his part of Don't Worry Darling- said, “Harry Styles is an absolute delight. He's one of the most professional people I've ever met. Couldn't be kinder, more gracious, I mean, really, I was stunned by this kid. He's off-the-charts cool.”

And finally, as 2020 draws to a close we are being flooded with a barrage of our guys being declared winners of incredibly narrow categories (Harry on a list of 'groundbreaking magazine covers' for example), but I think the winner of MY list of 'Highly Specific Accolades' is sewn up for the year already; Heartbreak Weather is officially “the first [advertising] campaign to utilize weather-tracking technology to target content to users”! I'll definitely be keeping my eye out for competitors but beating that for reaching for a category will be TOUGH.

#zayn #zayn malik world domination!!#as they say on the twits #louis tomlinson #harry styles #niall horan #i guess #Dixie deets in intern's tags but I abstain on the basis that's she's irrelevant and soon to be history #but if you're looking for that full story head over to her reblog #note her url has changed!!#the intern is now 1DdotdHQ! A promotion!! you can still call her intern if you want but she also answers to Hot Oli #other HQs are welcome to join my internship program if they wanna learn a thing or two #working conditions are bad and pay is worse! get in!#so like I'm not suggesting Zayn would schedule his life around anything so silly but if he did a stream that HAPPENED to be before the end o #of the year #he would totally knock Louis out of his record holding spot? Like I don't want to see that specifically but #if that would tempt his petty ass maybe we should wave it as a motivator #don't think he wouldn't be able to either Louis said about his louies 'they never see us coming' and how right he is #but even the FANDOM never see the zquad coming and it is a FORCE and has even harries beat for sheer numbers #anyway #Roman Kemp's breathing exercise sounds like its led by Arthur Shappey #rich spirit #dixie d'amelio #roman kemp #Rob Sheffield #chris pine #this account is so weird the people who I'm like huh THAT person has a tag now on my 1D update account OKAY THEN #17 dec 20

184 notes · View notes

ephemerlskies · 4 years

Text

constant craving 04 (final) | jjk

⇢ pairing: jungkook x reader

⇢ genre: “drabble” series, best friends to lovers au, slight angst, FLUFF, bestfriend!au, unrequited love, smarter idiots but still idiots all the same

⇢ word count: 6.8k

⇢ warnings: explicit language, mentions of alcohol, excessive drinking (drink responsibly), pining, jungkook is an overdramatic baby, a surplus of feelings (i am disgusted with myself), one (1) fire hazard

⇢ summary: with the Friendiversary approaching quickly, both you and Jungkook have an array of trials to navigate through. and, as Seokjin gets caught in the crossfires, you must finally make a decision that will define how the rest of your life will unfold.

♪ playlist: constant craving - k.d. lang, bad religion - frank ocean, misunderstood - lucky daye, neu roses - daniel caesar ♪

╰ series index: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 (final)

a/n: wow.... so bitches really call this a drabble series then write a 6 thousand word finale... its me im bitches... anywho, i really love the way this played out!! jungkook had to hit the bottom to start rising to the top and it shows. also, the ending is like....... hehe well ill just let you all see for yourselves. enjoy my lovely readers! this wrapped up such a heartfelt series that is so dear to my heart. thank you all for the support for this! and i might whip up a few drabbles simply because i think this relationship is really cute hehe ok... happy reading! <3

part four: i love you too

Carrying that music box in his pocket felt like a well-deserved and all too grim reminder of what went down a few days ago. Sitting drunk yet again, though one would best describe Jungkook’s posture as more of a sloven pile of flesh and bones withering away on a bar stool, he searched for the wallet which was in one of his four pockets.

He reached for the wrong one. Instead of the faux leather skimming his skin, it was a solid wood corner pricking the pad of his index finger. It stung more than it should have. Perhaps he'd gotten a splinter, or the top layer of his skin was simply too raw from all the wear and tear of your fight. Jungkook wasn’t one to jump at such negligible shocks, but it sank him back into that night. It wasn't the wooden corner at all.

You loved him. You still love him.

That's what you said. That's what nearly put him on the floor instead of in his chair, and what had been preying on his mind as if he were no different than a helpless animal drowning his regrets in whiskey. And he knew he should have said it back.

Jungkook theorized ways to defy the cruel restraints of time, and if the universe would be so kind as to allow him to travel back to that day in middle school when he happened upon a scared, flush-faced student running so fast and panicked that they bumped into each other, just to be the one who said 'I love you' first. Or those genies and shooting stars and blessed fountains that supposedly granted wishes; he would pay no hesitation to plead with whatever deity would listen and permit his most prioritized desire.

The retrospective bargaining remained a ghost haunting just about every waking moment of his life. Though, he had not been quite sure if said ghost was some cosmic sent presence or simply his own guilt. If regret took on physical ramifications, then Jungkook would have been convinced that was why he felt as if his legs wouldn't have been able to carry him even if he tried.

If I could just go back to that night with the knowledge I know now, I would have hauled my ass to your house instead of that club and told you that my choice was made for me the moment I met you. Every other person I ended up with these past twelve years was simply a buffer for loving you. I had to prepare myself, because loving you was something entirely too tremendous for a boy still grappling with his own faulty speech pattern to assume.

I wish you knew that. I wish I didn’t stand there like an idiot and let you leave, thinking me some hero for finally letting this new guy Seokjin take the place I had always imagined being in. I wish I had just said that I love you.

I love you.

I love you, ___.

Jungkook’s vision resembled that of a smudged lens. However, there were no fingerprints on his eyes. The world had turned blurry and colorless, the latter he knew was not due to the sixth order of whiskey he let soak into his heart’s open wound.

A life of color was one of the many things that left when you did.

He didn’t know it then, but Jungkook was being fervently dramatic since it had not been more than seventy-two hours the last time he spoke to you. Thought to him, it was akin to being just short of death and taking another breath would have been an expense he wasn’t sufficiently funded to pay.

Whatever happened in the interim of him paying his tab and walking out onto the sidewalk must have landed somewhere in the blacked out stretches of his inebriated memory, since he was now staring at your contact gleaming on his phone bearing the semblance of one guardian angel.

It was so ingrained into his routine. Opening the app with the phone icon, clicking the ‘recent’ tab, and finding your name no further than three contacts down the list because he called you as if he had important things to tell you, though normally it was just to hear your voice or to tell you about what he had for lunch. And it nestled into his muscle memory as natural as it was for him to breathe or blink. Even when alcohol debilitated his driving, walking, and thinking, his body was drawn to seek a haven such as yourself. And he nearly pressed ‘call’.

Before the comfort of your voice could ring through to his phone, reality descended upon that reflex. Right now, you were probably with Seokjin, attending some pretentious art gallery for one of his colleagues.

It was just Jungkook and the night sky and the moon that he hoped you were gazing at too; it would be the only connection to you as of now. The moon, a parcel for the most longing gazes.

There are stories where the two protagonists get it right. This was not that story. That reality stung more than the residual burn of whiskey clinging along his throat.

Both you and Jungkook made every wrong decision possible. From the moment you subjected yourself to exploiting the veneer of being a ‘good friend’ to disguise any true feelings that might have taken light, to the moment Jungkook was presented with all the excruciatingly obvious signs that you were in love with him, but was simply too inept to notice, to the both of you neglecting any urge threatening the bounds of platonic. Any path that would have steered to a destination where you two would get that happy ending was conveniently untaken.

And you had a long journey riddled with heartbreak after heartbreak to prove it.

He traded his phone with that wooden music box, scuffing the soles of his shoe as he walked back home, hoping he’d be able to give the gift to you on your Friendiversary.

-----

Your pain was still raw. In this way, you had not considered, or rather avoided the idea of tending to such delicate wounds. The days leading up to the infamous anniversary had been spent hoping you would organically heal enough to allow the presence of Jungkook while denying another reopening in your wound.

You had been juggling a not so thrilling number of conflicts the three days preceding that self-acclaimed national holiday.

One, Seokjin and his bottomless supply of invitations that you felt too obligated to refuse. He had such a life packed with plans which is more than you could have said for Jungkook. He, most likely, busied himself with promoting ranks in some obscenely violent video game. Two, a mutual friend of yours had told you Seokjin was fixing to make your relationship official this coming Friday, and you didn’t want to admit the lackluster reaction upon hearing the news was equivalent to receiving a C on a test. It wasn't the worst grade to receive, but you knew there would always be something better than adequacy. Not satisfying enough nor disappointing enough to be dealt with without bending a few expectations. And three, all you really wanted, the only agent of excitability (both good and bad) that diluted the festering numbness in your heart just a tad more, was thinking about seeing Jungkook on your Friendiversary.

But with that excitement, was its equally worrying constituent: whether or not you would be able see Jungkook that day without cracking under pressure.

Things weren’t exactly attuned between the two of you. Your emotional stature had never been more unsynchronized and offkey with Jungkook’s, so, forcing a celebratory movie or dinner would be no different than adding cornstarch to the already thick tension.

“___? Are you listening?” Everything Seokjin had just been droning on about filtered in and out without a single word being absorbed, and you could have pretended this wasn't the case but stress had apprehended caring enough to lie.

“Sorry… No, I wasn't. I’m just stressed is all.” Since that was only a half lie, self-admonition had not yet taken permanent residency whenever you would look at Seokjin’s eyes offering nothing but genuine tact.

“Oh, sorry to hear! Are you okay? Anything you wanna talk about?” That, and the soft press of his hand over yours had swallowed you into a perpetual, guilty cycle of comparing two incomparable people.

Seokjin was always like this. Serving a gentle smile and honest ears as a vessel of calmness during whatever calamity you were grappling. It was safe knowing if you fell, you’d have a comfortable cushion to soften the impact. He was mindful with his words and had the intelligence to articulate them with impressive eloquence. You were more likely to see pigs fly than to see him stutter. He had a diverse group of friends and walked a steady path to a financially secure life. And you started to wonder what else one would need in a partner? Any sensible person would do much more than you had to snag someone like Seokjin, as handsome as he was kind and respectful. He seemed to have everything Jungkook lacked, including mutual feelings for you.

It would have been entirely too easy to pick him, as if there was a ‘Seokjin’ button and a ‘Jungkook’ button and you could press Seokjin’s on a whim. If choosing him would have meant miraculous nullification of all your very real and very unremitting feelings for that idiot you called your best friend, then you would have done it in a heartbeat.

There wasn't a 'Seokjin' button or a 'Jungkook' button, nor was there a button that would wondrously redistribute your feelings towards Seokjin.

And then there was Jungkook. Always in the back of your mind when he wasn't tenanting the focus of it.

He was never predictable in the ways that mattered. It was just as difficult figuring out his next move as figuring out whether this trait was exciting or exhausting.

Though, this had not been to say you didn’t know him well; in fact, all his habits and preferences and pet peeves could be bound into a book, written by you, and it would be so accurate anyone who read it would think it was an autobiography. He knew you to the same caliber. Where Seokjin would ask what was wrong, Jungkook wouldn’t need to. He already learned your behavior to know to say something along the lines of ‘tell me what’s wrong when you're ready, we can watch your favorite movie or swing by that Chinese place with those great fried dumplings in the meantime’. And on more favorable occasions, he'd say nothing and simply wrap you in his arms and let his shirt become a delta for your tears.

To anyone else, that might sound entirely too frank and perhaps a bit dismissive to be comforting, but to you it was the exact cure for each affliction. To never need explanations that would validate your feelings because Jungkook saw to that right when he took notice; to never manufacture fake smiles through failed attempts at cheering you up since, of course, he knew exactly what to do to vegetate joy in your heart and earn a smile from years and years —and years— of practice. It had almost driven you mad, thinking about how he knew from a shift in your brow what you were feeling and yet, somehow, never realized how deeply in love you were.

All the while, the moment you were convinced you had been versed fluently in his every move, he would pawn another blindsight that would leave you breathless and amazed all the same. Jungkook always had concealed tricks up his sleeve, and life was anything but repetitive with him. You would more often than not find yourself struggling to relearn language and existing itself just to keep up with him. How exactly he managed to wield such diametric facets of being was an enigma beyond the reasoning of this universe.To feel like home, somewhere you belonged outside of your own body, and a daring voyage into a completely new world all at once must have meant he was some sort of Godsend. Only angels could have sculpted a soul so magnetizing, you assumed.

Seokjin was an umbrella, shielding you on some arcane journey under an unforgiving rainfall. Your shoes kept dry and your hair intact.

And if he was the umbrella, then Jungkook was the rain. Falling everywhere and all at once, so that you couldn't help but let yourself be saturated in his entire, vibrant being. And who’s to say letting such a water fall against your skin was a bad thing? Sometimes rain is cleaning, gentle even. They bear fruits as beautiful as rainbows that guide you to an unnamed treasure.

Your treasure, however, had a name.

Jungkook calling.

"___? Hello? You in there?" Seokjin waved his hand in front of your face mostly in a jesting manner, but part of him felt like your eyes were blinded by something held in your heart. If he hadn’t pulled you back into reality, you might have been lost forever.

“I'm just…” Your attention had abandoned this conversation the second his name gave light to your screen. “Sorry, um…”

“It's okay, you can take the call. I’ll be in the kitchen making us some coffee.”

If you were to thank him profusely, it would have been far too obvious how much you missed seeing his name among your notifications, and most likely expose how often you spent thinking of Jungkook while you were supposed to be enthralled with Seokjin. So, you just nodded and answered the phone.

Nodding and answering, as though that didn't feel like taking a breath of clean air after hours of swimming through muddied waters.

“Hello? ___?”

“Jungkook.” It took you longer than usual to form a response and what was assembled had been a half-baked utterance just to let him know you were on the other side of the phone, hearing his voice and feeling a surge of energy course through your veins like he was some delicious narcotic filling life into you after only a week without him.

“___.” Jungkook was in his own debt of words as well. The exchange halted for a few seconds, a jaded breathing cutting the cracked static.

“Look-”

“Hey so-”

Any hope that you had finally caught up to the same page as Jungkook was lost. Now, it seemed you two were reading entirely different books.

“You go.” You said after another dreadful pause. He was the one who called, so he should be the one carrying the burden of navigating through this deafening tension.

“Well, I- uh… I… Well, you see I was just, um, wondering…” Jungkook’s heart must have shut off. That would explain why even the most rudimentary of words felt closer to a foreign language. Or, why he was making conscious efforts to counteract the threat of his nearly dormant lisp.

His brain was drained dry of any blood, his inner mechanisms were shutting down. Even without the alcoholic filter catching words and common sense in its web, Jungkook felt himself fall into an overactive state of dumbfoundedness. Sobriety only a cataract for his emotional override.

“Our friendiversary?”

“I’m sorry, I did not understand literally anything you just said.”

“Me neither.”

The charming and familiar laugh that spilled through the speaker reminded you that Jungkook was in fact a real person. Not some figmented embodiment of every lost and unrequited and tortuous feeling you had been suppressing for twelve years. Jungkook was real, his laugh and everything else you loved about him were all so incredibly real. And more importantly, the pure joy you felt was real; a permanent serialization of his. Your smiles and his smiles had always surfaced in tandem.

Now, you both were laughing. Neither were warranted by his messy attempt at forming a coherent sentence. The weight of discomfort shedding from your shoulders had been partnered with a slew of relieved chuckles.

“Anyway, um. I- I still wanna see you on our Friendiversary. Or, at least give you your gift.” Admitting that was terrifying but the thought of breaking the consecutive streak of eleven years simply because he was too much of a coward to admit he wanted to see you dizzied him. However, the thought of spending your friendiversary alone terrified him beyond comprehension. So, he thought not about that as a possibility; he carved an opening to his heart in hope you wouldn’t send sharp thorns of rejection into it.

“Yeah, I, uh. I still wanna see you too. I mean, it is a national holiday. We gotta have holiday spirit, right?” You were forcing playful banter, it felt like lemon juice scouring cuts on your tongue, but you were so desperate to make things between you two feel normal.

“You’re right! So, um… You can come over tomorrow night. I’ll set up a surprise or whatever.” He seemed to have fallen back into stride with pre-confession Jungkook. Trying to keep up with him now would just exhaust you of all your means, so you chose to save the rest for tomorrow night. Even if that meant watching him walk away to some unforeseeable finish line; his back, the last part of him you’d see until you could finally collect your broken pieces and start walking as well.

“Sounds good! I’ll, um, see you then.”

“See you, ___.”

You had no idea, and how could you, that Jungkook was now wiping small clusters of wetness from the bed of his eyelids. Why he thought you, the one person that remained a constant in his life, would say no to him over one fight (of many) made for quite the spill of tears. But if you did know, you would have told him you felt like crying too.

"Hey! How did everything go?" You were so immersed in your virtual conversation with Jungkook you nearly forgot the person you were presently with. The train of guilt wouldn't stop for your pathetic attempts at disembarking.

"Oh! Thanks for the coffee." You sipped, and it had just been a stall to blink away the tears that were straying beyond your will of concealment. "It went good. We're still celebrating our Friendiversary."

"Friendiversary?" Seokjin's light chuckle veiled his tense concern.

"Yeah... Uh, it's just this thing we do to celebrate our friendship. The day we met."

"Oh... that's..." His eyes were scaling the rim of his mug.

"That's what, Seokjin?" You were stern, knowing well enough it was born of far more than platonic defensiveness. And you had no right to be the one prosecuting him since you clearly had more to hide than meets the eye.

"I mean, it's just interesting how dedicated you are to an anniversary with a friend." Seokjin wielded that soft-spoken voice which made it difficult to be anything but patient with him. And from the tone of it, he seemed to have no ill intentions with that statement, though it had not been an entirely innocent observation. To you, however, it felt like he might as well have set you on fire.

"Interesting? What is that supposed to even mean? I mean, we've been friends for twelve years. I- I don't know why people are always so judgmental." Your arms crossed over your chest, hoping he would take notice how much his comment slighted you. If asked, you would have insisted you would have been this worked up over any of your friends. Though you knew well enough this was untrue, and it made you feel even worse acting as though Seokjin was the one at fault here.

"I'm sorry. I'm not judging you, really. I just... I just have never heard of two friends doing something like that so religiously."

You sighed out all your anger, knowing the way you snapped at him was merely misdirected frustration. "No, I'm sorry. I know it's kinda weird."

"Look, I get it. You guys are close. But, ___, you talk about him so much that half, no, over half of your stories include him. We've been dating for, what, barely a week now, and I know more about this Jungkook guy than I know about you, and I haven't even met him."

Lips parted, ready to dispatch another slew of defenses to refute all the things he said. It was more disappointing than it was shocking to find nothing but a long sigh emerging. Because he was right. Jungkook has been interwoven so thoroughly in your last twelve years that if you only told the stories without him in it, then it would be the least accurate and nondescript retelling of your life. Fragments of an unfinished novel. It would miss the most crucial pieces, entire chapters, of your story.

You would have been presenting a shell of you, hollow and one dimensional. All the inner parts of you, the lungs and veins and tissue that gave you life and made you whole belonged solely with Jungkook.

That's why you sat there, blank faced, foolishly waiting for the words that wouldn't come to your aid because you had no place to contend with him.

"Seokjin... I'm with you..." It's all that would come up your throat, and it felt like acid. You were sure it burned his ears when he heard them more than it had your throat.

It hadn’t even been partially true. Physically you were with him, but in your head you were sitting on your couch with Jungkook, consuming a concerning amount of junk food while chatting through a movie used more as background noise than entertainment.

"Okay. Does that mean you don't have feelings for him?"

"Well..."

"Can you confidently say you could replace all the time you spend with him with time you would spend with me?" Seokjin must have noticed your returning tears because he loosened his verbal grip from your throat. To you, it sounded like he was pacifying you for some horrible sin, to anyone else it sounded as though he was simply trying to dredge up feelings that would disrupt the chance of a relationship between you and him. "___, I like you. I really do, but in all honesty, I'm looking for something serious. I think we would be great together, but only if you don't have any feelings left for him."

"Seokjin..." You regretted looking at him.

Sweetness was strewn in his eyes and gentle smile. Seokjin was softer than cotton, which made the real threat, the rough sandpaper wearing away skin and bones, you. It made it all the more painful to know you had been keeping everything you felt for Jungkook hidden from Seokjin. Though, if one would have presented an objective point of view, your feelings were far from secretive. And the most brutal honesty was that you knew feelings for Seokjin were never in your attainability. Not the way they always had been for Jungkook.

He was the wrong person who crossed paths with you at the right moment. A mere convenience. And you knew he deserved much more than what you had to offer.

"And maybe I'm being an idiot, but I like you too much to give you some ultimatum which would put you in such an unfair position. So, I'll let you think this over." His compassion felt more like a sharp blow to your chest. “No pressure.”

If he hadn’t smiled like he did, then you would have broken up with him right then and there. It was not possible to rip away such tender hope away from a smile so sweet.

"I'm sorry." You meant the remorse behind those words and it still hadn’t amounted to a proper consolation. "I'm sorry. I guess... I guess I'll go... Seokjin?”

“Yes?” He replied quickly, and you knew only a pace that rapid was one brought on by a sliver of faith that you might have made your decision right then.

“You’re a really great person. You deserve the world.”

Unfortunately, you couldn’t give him what he wanted. And as bitter and unkind as that might have felt at the moment, it was the only bit of truth and relent you could have offered him.

-----

In your bed, sleep became somewhat of an abstract desire. You knew your rest was deprived from you when the digital clock on your bedside told you it was six hours past the time you'd normally fall asleep. It was because you really did have a choice to make now.

To choose Seokjin, and know you'd collapse in the safety of his reciprocated affection, though haunted by how you would never feel the fullest extent of content. And you would live with that until resentment and distance wedged irreversible damage in your relationship.

Or, to choose Jungkook, which would catapult you into a depth so dark and tenuous that you would have no idea whether you'd meet gentle snow or hard, deadly concrete when you landed. And maybe you'd never land at all; maybe you would be caught in a state of falling down and down forever, until your beating heart eventually stilled.

Which one was worth it? Which were you willing to risk? These were the questions that kept you awake.

The hours leading to your undisclosed celebration events with Jungkook ceased being actual points of your existence and merely obstructions that you had to plow through in order to arrive at some conclusive moment. Something that might give you an answer to all your questions. Something that might have released you from devotedly checking your phone for a Jungkook patented text or call.

You were turning into a half-being. Someone who could only inhale a full breath, laugh an intentional laugh, and sleep a soundless sleep when their other half was there.

If you thought being in love with Jungkook for your entire friendship was pathetic, then you couldn’t fathom what you had become now.

Standing in front of his door, the same one you lugged him to that night he was too drunk to balance on his feet, when you willingly carried all the weight he couldn’t, when your lips became acquainted and comfortable with his within half a beat, you felt as if this chunk of wood was mocking you. A partition barricading you from Jungkook. Your Jungkook. The man you always felt you were on the outskirts of, with only a window to peer into his unreadable mind. And that was enough for you ―until now.

Now you were going to knock on that door with your hand, make him open it for you, and walk into his home. You would be the one to step foot inside of the very structure that only solicited closed doors and immovable walls and fogged windows. And you would leave behind your timidity, every feeling and urge that left you with disappointing compromises for the sake of maintaining this friendship.

You would be selfish, and he would finally feel a mere glimpse of what you have always felt for the best and worst of your life.

Even when he opened the door, arming a smile that actively disarmed you, this home of his was yours to conquer. This was your time to act for you alone, despite how many smiles he sent your way. You had not any weapons or shields or an infantry for a clutch. You just had your heart and all the love it carried.

“Hey! ___, you look… You look great.” There was no real incentive for him to censor how he truly thought you looked. Immeasurably beautiful. It was simply his own nerves impeding on the feelings that were too intense to express without it being followed by an entire soliloquy of I love you’s.

“Thanks... You too...” You could almost feel the words brimming in your and Jungkook’s mouth, carrying such raw emotions and longing intentions.

"I'm really glad that- Jungkook..." Walking into his house punctuated what you were about to say.

His living room was strewn with enough candles to steal the last of your words and to consider his house a fire hazard. That didn't negate this lovely sea of lights to be anything but romantic and thoughtful. A bit cluttered, and not at all perfect, but it must have taken Jungkook hours to set up every wax column. The thoughtfulness of this gesture would have astonished you had it not been for the consistency of Jungkook snatching your breath and words away whenever he tried. It was antithetical, the way you expected his surprises. Yet, always surprised all the same.

Unpredictable, completely surrounding you just like the rain.

"I had to turn off my fire detector but... Worth it." Jungkook considered the number of mishaps that could have dampened any chance of this being romantic.

A candle could tip over and set his entire place ablaze, the wax could leak onto his carpet and tabletops, damaging his furniture and savings for replacements, you and he could have suffocated from all the fumes steaming from the wick. But if that look on your face didn't feel like the only bit of revival to keep his heart's steady beating, if your eyes didn’t look as though it was the only set of eyes that shed beauty into this world then he wouldn't have used up exactly three lighters to pull this stunt. But it did, and he felt warmth and color return to every inch of his body.

He would have used hundreds of lighters to ignite thousands of candles if that meant an ounce of happiness from you. He wanted to say that, but he knew the candles said it for him.

The spectacle almost made you forget why you were here in the first place. It almost made you forget the resolve you managed to gather before entering. And then he said your name.

"___."

The letters flowing from his lips as if they could only be pronounced by his tongue. It sounded so good. So good, that if anyone else were to say it then it wouldn't have been your name at all. It would have sounded wrong, sullied. And it wasn't supplied by neat articulation, this new belonging of your name in his mouth. The need for him to sculpt your name into this world was more than that. "I will never forgive myself if I don't get this out while I still can."

"Jungkook, what is all this?" You didn't know why you felt a collection of tears brimming along your eyes, but you didn't care to figure it out. Perhaps you felt an influx of feelings, an abundance too heavy for your body to seal within the confines of your emotional seams, so they overflowed in the form of tears. This certainly had not been the first time you cried over Jungkook, but you had never cried over him like this.

"___, I love you!" Jungkook said loudly. It was just you and him who could hear, but it felt as though he wanted the entire world to know.

"What? I- You- What?" Your lack of verbal poise was indicative of your love for him once again taking the reins of your mind and heart. Words were a luxury you couldn't afford as of now. You just had to feel everything you were feeling until the rainstorm settled. The hope that he would spare you some remnants of fluency was far along, and you weren't too sure if what Jungkook was about to say would be gentle enough to leave you with any words at all.

"I love you. I don't know why I didn't know it sooner. Or maybe, I- Maybe I did know?" Jungkook sighed at his own ineloquence. "I'm stupid! That's it. That's my only excuse. I'm so stupid. The way I felt about you, the way I still feel about you, is something I thought all best friends had. I thought everyone felt like the moments they weren't spending with their best friends just felt like filler moments. Like, every day I spent without you was just a span of time I had to wait out until I see you again. Like every damn moment of my life is spent waiting for you. And if I don't end up with you then... then I'll never stop waiting."

"Jungkook, I-" He prevailed in surprising you, taking words and breath and thoughts all at once.

"And, I'm that stupid! I really thought all best friends had those moments when they stare at you, and- and-" Now, you weren't the only one with wet eyes and cheeks. "And I just feel like looking at you and being with you just makes me better. It makes me a better person, or something, and it makes me feel like... Like I'll never get hurt again. And even if I do get hurt, I know it's you I want to be there. I know that whenever something bad happens to you, or when you feel like crying or when you're happy or angry or anything that I want to be the one who gets to be by your side. When I look at you, all I want is to love you. To love all your pain away."

"You really mean that?"

"Yes! God, I love you." You didn't notice how it happened, but Jungkook's arms became a shield around you. Inside his arms you were indestructible. Your hands pressed against his cheeks, memorizing the plush, smooth skin. The world could hurl all the fire and ice it had, but it wouldn’t matter. "___, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out. I'm sorry that in that period, I hurt you. Please, forgive me. I love you, and I want to be with you."

"Of course, I forgive you. I... I can't believe this." Hearing everything you always wanted from him was drastically different when it was actually unfolding. It was a million times more than any hope or dream you used as a salve for your longing. It was everything.

"Maybe it took so long because I was afraid. Because the idea of loving you was something I wasn't ready for. Even though I did love you, God, who was I to take on something as fragile and crucial as loving you. I know I probably would have messed it up. And, fuck, maybe I'm messing it up right now. But I just needed it to be perfect. I needed loving you to be perfect because I don't want to give you anything less than that."

"You were always enough for me, Jungkook. More than enough. You were and are everything to me" His arms that pressed you further into him expressed how happy that made him.

"But I'm not perfect yet. I might mess up... A lot. No, I'll definitely mess up. I don't know if I can offer you perfect yet. But I do know that through everything I have never stopped loving you and I will never stop loving you."

"Jungkook... I don't know what to say." Your thumb grazed a falling tear from his face. Jungkook had not cried often in front of you; and you could tally up the amount of times he had on your fingers alone. But when he did, it was still as beautiful as when he was smiling or laughing or even scowling.

"You could say you love me back." You did. You loved him, his smile that was currently on a mission to melt your heart, his arms that carried both the good and bad parts of you, his wit that you always relished in. All the reasons to love him were an endless flowing river. If you were lucky enough, you would catch a glimpse of each beautiful current and be able to give name to the gravity that pulled you into him.

"I love you too, you idiot." The last word caught in your throat because your lips were being kissed instead.

His lips. Warm and exciting, allotting your being with an infinite devotion of his. And it was more than you could have ever hoped for.

It felt like fire. Like a grove of candles encapsulating the origin of heat. You and Jungkook, holding each other so close, you could have become one. Hot and all-consuming of anything in its path. If one stood too close, they would suffer scorching embers that stray from the orange pyres. Seokjin, Irene, and any other unassuming casualty that had the misfortune of stepping between the two of you, harboring the burn scars to remind them of what fumed from their interference.

Every element concocting between you and him was that of a bright flame, cremating pure metals and wet woods and thick forests alike.

You were in his home. His arms and lips and hands told you it was your home as well. All that time spent wondering why you could never slip inside before was never because he didn't want to let you in. And the thing is, you never thought to knock until now. You sat outside in a silenced hope that he would voluntarily open that door for you. But unknown to you, Jungkook seemed to be waiting as well. Waiting in a large room with empty spaces where you belonged and where he kept reserved for your residence alone.

He waited even when he wasn't quite sure of who he was waiting for, or if you would ever actually spill your warmth into his home. He waited until his fingers turned to ice and his eyes fell to exhaustion, for you to walk inside.

"So, you're like my boyfriend now?" Your voice brushed against his smiling lips.

"Yeah, your boyfriend, or whatever."

"You know this means you have to top next year's friendiversary. And I mean, all these candles? That's gonna be tough." It could have counted as sensory overload, the feeling of his palms flush against your back, the tip of his nose grazing yours, the bright array of candles illuminating the room. But you were so, incredibly cold without him that this felt like solace to you.

"When have I ever disappointed you?" Jungkook regretted what came out of his mouth too late to stop himself from saying it.

"Oh, I couldn't count the amount of times on my fingers alone! What about that time you forgot our chains for the tires on our trip to the mountains? We almost died." His eye roll only encouraged you to continue. Maybe, if you were lucky, he'd equip that cute pout whenever he wanted his way. "Or what about when you swore you brought water, but three miles in on our hike you had that look on your face. You know I reminded you to get water and you swore you did. Or what about-"

"Okay! I get it! I fuck up, jeez." He scrunched his nose, his eyes waning into crescents courtesy of that grin of his. You counted the number of wrinkles along the bridge of his nose as you always did, though you had acquired an expertise in the geography of his face. Each line and angle and ridge were now and eternally yours to restudy and marvel. "Hey, uh, almost forgot."

He reached into his front left pocket. "I, um, kept carrying it around thinking I'd see you somewhere. Kinda dumb right?"

"Not dumb." You opened the tiny box, wound the handle until the spring felt tight and you could see the throngs prick the textured wheel, and it was one of those moments where you didn't see a gift in your hand. You simply saw his thought and sentiment manifested as a box of wood that sung a tune.

All the things Jungkook wanted to give you, the sun and the moon and the entire universe were not his to give. So for now, he settled for this music box and there would be a day when he would collect each celestial being and place them right into your hands. Maybe then, he would feel less of a debt for possessing such a love like yours.

"This is... I love it. Thank you, Jungkook." You smiled, but it was motivated in the hopes he would smile back. You thought he deserved that much, at least. And he did.

"Sooooo... Can I tell Seokjin that you're actually in love with me and that he sucks ba-"

"Um, absolutely not!" As always, his crudeness and slight inability to remain mature for too long only wedged you deeper in love.

So, terribly in love. Your state of constant craving for Jeon Jungkook had been left barren. That desolate, solitary province was no longer yours to take residence in.

You had a home now. And you had no need to crave Jungkook anymore. He was right here, holding you.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

a/n: okay, cry with me.... these two.... such hopeless saps for each other i'm here for it. final destination is simp city... also (spoiler) it is completely canon that irene and seokjin bond over their mutual heartbreaks and get to smitten hehehe. anyway, my loves i hope you enjoyed this finale as much as i enjoyed writing it!!! it was a short but heartfelt journey with these two and i will miss their idiocy sm. thank u for your endless support i love u all!!! <3

#bangtanarmynet #ficswithluv #btsgoldnet #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts angst #bts fluff #bts writing #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook bestfriend!au #jungkook angst #bts series #jungkook bestfriendstolovers!au #jungkook series #constant craving #rubycoast

469 notes · View notes