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neurotheascars · 1 day

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First of all, no idea why this post had reblogs turned off but Ill respond here. Original post this for those who need context is here.

@fawna-lariat

First lemme get something out of the way:

You don't HAVE to do anything. You saying that just gives me the impression that you're a negativity chasing alter because that's exactly what I say when I'm thirsty for a fight.

Just because you know already that I probably won't agree with you doesn't mean I'm not listening. Word of advice- Get it out on your own blog. I'm only going to respond to you because you are being civil. But your attitude is grating to me because it feels like you didn't read a lick of the post you're commenting on.

I'm not a fragmented piece of a whole. I am a complete entity. It is extremely upsetting and triggering to keep hearing people insist that being an alter means you broke off of something. That's certainly a way for alters to form but it's not the only way and I'm tired of having "parts language" forced on to me. I know what I fucking am. I am a separate person. If you don't think I am you are denying my lived experience and ignoring the way a trauma victim literally exists. Parts language actually kept my system from healing so please fucking stop carrying that outdated claim about "shattered self" around like it's fact. It's not a reality for every system and I know more than one therapist that believes it is harmful to just assume a system is just one person broken into parts.

I'm pretty sure I've seen the sources you're talking about but there are other sources that contradict what you're saying too. My therapist honestly thinks being anti endo is a really misinformed stance in general if you need to hear that. You could really have your pick of information that proves your position is extremely narrow minded but I think you're comfortable and not going to do anymore research until you stumble upon it. You also don't seem to understand the real life context of what these studies actually prove or don't prove either.

You can send me that source, but I don't have the mental capability to comb through and properly refute claims in the manner that people like sophie and SAS do. I'm on mobile and I can't use tabs.

I've also already read a lot. I made a post a while back saying I was done with syscourse. I've also done a lot of research on entity creation techniques and parapsychology. I have 13ish years of experience on the topic and I know that mainstream psychology is only just now catching up to the reality of it all. I don't have the energy to entertain people who get dogmatic about mental health because I've deep dived in a way I can bet you haven't.

You aren't going to change my mind simply because you demonstrably don't know what I know.

Bottom line, you're talking to an alien who knows too much about this. And as a system who deals with all the dissociation and BS that comes with a did diagnosis, who was helped by created entities when we finally learned about the trauma, I frankly don't care if endos are in my community because it really really doesn't fucking matter.

Ive met cringey endos I don't like, but they don't "flood in to ruin my community" because I can block them without making them feel unwelcome and I want them to feel welcome because I don't know who they are or what they've been through. I don't know who might see me treating them poorly, and every system I'm ever met has been afraid of not feeling "valid" enough and gee I wonder why that could be when anti endos are drawing hard lines about how a system can form and behave.

And the thing is endos do know what being plural is like. Your belief that they don't isn't even a claim that can be backed with science. You're just making a sweeping generalization about what you think strangers understand. That's why I really dislike anti endos. The constant assumptions make my blood boil. I can't deal with that on the regular.

But regardless of anything you're saying about the distinction between tulpas and alters, endos are actually safer in the event of trauma occurring because their system hasn't had to deal with trauma to become organized. They have the option to be an organized system before trauma hits and are better for it because of their multiple consciousnesses.

That is just one unique way for a system to present and it's completely valid. If you think tulpas are real, but not alters then you should know that it's pretty easy for them to become alters. This is what happened to my IRL partner system. I'm not going to share their trauma story, but they are a group of tulpas that came from a paracosm that experienced trauma and now have to deal with all that extra stuff.

See you don't even realize it, but you're claiming my partner both doesn't understand what being plural is really like and that his alters aren't actually alters because he made them. Which, based on my lived experience with them, just isn't true. I don't need a peer reviewed paper to believe the lived experience of people right in front of me and that's why I don't agree with you. These studies never really concretely prove total absolutes and they don't claim to.

In fact its so easy for created alters to get all that extra trauma related dissociation with how stressful this shit world is that this distinction you're making really doesn't fucking matter in the end and only alienates people who are indeed trauma victims who might need support either now or in the future.

If you guys care so much about trauma victims why are you so hellbent on getting upset at and insulted by people who you literally don't know could be trauma victims. And if they aren't, a split consciousness configuration literally is the brain's way of dealing with trauma so tell me why it's so bad to be metaphorically holding the fire extinguisher in hand when the fire happens instead of having to run and break glass to get to it when you actually need it.

I truly don't think you know what you're talking about and saying that tulpas are real but they don't "count" as alters sounds like some highschool shit. I don't think you grasp that endos can have trauma separate from the origin of their alters and it's actually not your business if they do or not. It's only that their trauma isn't the cause of their alters. They may still have trauma that their alters help out with. I would agree that having a fragmented sense of self definitely makes it easier to create alters, but it doesn't mean you can't without the trauma.

I remember reading in a lot of grimoires and books on spirituality that anything that involves things like lucid dreaming, hedge crossing, and entity conjuration is easier for those who have been through an "ordeal". "Magic" and tulpamancy is easier if you've been through some life ruining shit. Thats all this claim that "created entities don't stick around in an unfragmented mind" means to me

Like yeah duh it's gonna take more effort to keep them there if you don't have your "head cracked open" as some spirit workers used to say.

The fact that I have witnessed with my own eyes what you say is impossible means to me that your science is incomplete.

Again, nobody is insulting you by simply existing and a lot of them do know what it's like to be plural.

#syscourse #sorry if I sound mean Im just so tired of seeing the same claims over and over

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crimsonredfeathers · 8 months

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Leaving

~*~ Chapter 10 ~*~

Hawks x slightly older!fem!Reader

Warnings: just more fluff and some teasing on Hawks' side

Word count: 1.5k

Notes: Does anyone else think of Hawks being the biggest tease in the world, but like, it's impossible to be mad at him? He's got us wrapped around his little finger, right? ❤️

Prologue * Chapter 1 * Chapter 2 * Chapter 3 * Chapter 4 * Chapter 5 * Chapter 6 * Chapter 7 * Chapter 8 * Chapter 9 * Chapter 10

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It was late March when you had invited Hawks over to cook dinner with you. Well, you were the one standing there, taking care of the cooking process, while he stood next to you, cutting the ingredients for the chicken and potato stew you had planned. It was one of the recipes that your grandma had taught you.

"Do you still feel uncomfortable with the photo shoot tomorrow?" You had realized that Hawks wasn't as bubbly as he usually was. "Mhm," he sighed while cutting the potatoes into cubes, "I don't know why the HPSC thinks this is necessary. I mean, I really like the jewelry those designers came up with and all, but, you know..." You nodded. "Well, I'm sure they are trying to push your popularity. Now that you have entered the top 10, they sure are interested in keeping it that way. It makes sense from a marketing standpoint." Hawks reached out to grab the next potato. "But I'm a hero, not a model," he mused. You laughed as you stirred the contents of the pot in front of you, making sure that onions, garlic, and ginger didn't burn. "I mean, the jewelry is based on your quirk after all, and you sure are an attractive guy. Of course, they would pick you as the model. Could you please hand me the chicken?" You turned your head to look at him, but he didn't react.

"Uhm, Hawks?" He snapped his head around, a light pinkish hue present on his cheeks. "Y-yeah, I... What?" You laughed. "I need the plate with the chicken on it. It's next to you on the counter. Could you hand it over, please?" Hawks nodded and sent a few feathers to carry the meat over to you. "Don't worry," you said and gently laid your hand on his wrist, taking the chicken off his feathers with the other one, "everything will go just fine."

~*~

Eventually, the pictures of Hawks wearing the jewelry were published a few weeks later. There were ads in every newspaper and magazine, hell, even giant billboards had his face on them, already advertising the pre-order period that was about to start in another two weeks all over Japan from here on out.

"The pictures turned out great," you said casually, checking out the ad in one of the magazines while sharing a cup of coffee with Hawks at the agency, admiring the beautiful jewelry as well as the professional way the hero had presented the items. "I really like what the designers did with the necklace. It's cute."

~*~

You had started your day early this morning, arrived ahead of everyone else at the office, and went through the mail, while the heroes, one after another, entered their workplace. You greeted every single one of them with a soft smile on your lips, carrying out your daily routine of checking the mail. A somewhat fancy looking letter that was adressed to Hawks caught your eye. "Boss, you've got mail," you said, holding the letter out for him to grab. He took the letter from you and opened it, while you started to work on your computer.

Soon, Hawks hummed in approval. "What do you think, y/n?", he asked, holding the piece of paper between your face and the screen of the computer. "I think you should stop blocking my vision so I can keep working," you scoffed, hands still lingering mid-air above the keyboard, eying Hawks. "You gotta read that," the blonde waved the paper back and forth in front of your eyes. You snatched the letter out of his hand, reading the lines out loud.

Dear Hawks,

thank you for choosing to trust our company with the creation of your very own line of jewelry. We would like to invite you to join our team of designers for the jewelry launch event to celebrate -

You trailed off thanks to getting distracted by Hawks, who was waving around two VIP tickets next to your head. "What do you say? You and me," he shot you a toothy grin. "Oh no!" You raised one hand in defense, handing him the letter back with the other one before raising this hand as well. "I'm not going to join you on that," you shook your head vehemently. "Oh, come on! It won't be fun if you aren't there," Hawks pleaded, trying to look as disappointed as he could muster, even pushing out his bottomlip. "This is your jewelry line, I don't have any business being at an event like that. Which hero would bring their secretary anyway?"

Hawks laughed as he couldn't keep up his front anymore. "Well, the invitation says it's for 'Hawks plus one'," he mimicked the quotation marks with his fingers, "I can bring whoever I want." You sighed. "I don't even have anything to wear for such an occasion." The hero wasn't ready to give up. "We'll figure something out. Maybe you're free for a shopping trip on the weekend?" Damn it, you were losing. "And how would I even get there?" In response, Hawks spread his wings, flapping them a few times to emphasize what he was about to say. "I can come pick you up and bring you home after the event. It's not like I haven't been at your place before." The sidekicks that were following the exchange between the two of you in the background shared a surprised look, and you were ready to disappear into a hole in the ground out of embarrassment. "Hawks, please, you're making it sound weird. And I still don't - " He had the audacity to interrupt you once again, a cheeky grin on his lips. "I'm your boss, and I pick you to be my plus one, so..." You rolled your eyes at his antics. "Does this count as overtime then?" He gasped, his hand shooting up to his chest to be placed right over his heart in the most dramatic way you had ever seen. "You hurt my feelings, Ms l/n!" Oh yeah, you had definitely lost against Hawks at this point.

"Fine," you groaned, placing your fingers against your temples and rubbing them in a circular motion to mirror his dramatic behavior, "but you are giving me a massive headache." Hawks grinned while making his way over to his office, the letter and tickets still in his hand. "You could always write an email to my agency and complain about me," he shrugged before entering his office, leaving the door standing ajar behind him. "You do realize that it's me who's answering the emails?" All you could hear was laughter coming from his office, successfully ending the playful banter.

~*~

Meeting Hawks at the shopping mall on a Sunday evening was really something you didn't think through well enough beforehand. No matter in which store or boutique you went, there were fans literally everywhere. You had explained for the umpteenth time that, no, you were not dating. You'd tried your best to avoid being in any picture that was taken, leading up to you getting shoved away from him by his fans, who desperately wanted an autograph or touch his wings and, at some point, you simply gave up.

You walked away from the scene and plopped down on a bench in the middle of the mall. Rummaging through your purse, you got your mobile out and texted your boss where to look for you, in case he would find a way to lose his fans. You put your phone away and, more or less out of sheer boredom, started scanning the store windows from a distance. Your eyes widened when something caught your eye. There, in the window of a nice little boutique, was the most stunning dress you'd ever seen. The vibrant red color reminded you of Hawks' wings, the classic form, and the fact that it was neither too flashy nor revealing really met your style. You stood up and walked over to get a closer look, completely missing Hawks calling out your name. You sure were enchanted by the dress in front of you. "Sorry for the delay," he rubbed the back of his head when he had finally caught up to you, still holding his own phone in the other hand. "Nice pick," Hawks said when he took a closer look at the dress in front of you, purposefully not mentioning anything about the color that matched his feathers perfectly. You nodded, gazing down at the price tag. "But it's way too expensive." The blonde next to you laughed. "What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't pay?" You could feel your heart skip a beat. "Excuse me?!"

In the end, Hawks did pay the outrageous amount of money for the dress like it was no big deal at all.

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Taglist: @claralouvette @chrisrue15

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A huge thanks to everyone who's reading and supporting this story! See you next chapter ❤️👋

#mha fluff #bnha fluff #hawks fluff #takami keigo fluff #mha x reader fluff #bnha x reader fluff #hawks x reader fluff #takami keigo x reader fluff

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laurel-finch · 2 months

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'I Don't Bite' S1.Ch21: Sunrise

Summary: The constant fighting begins to take a toll... Referenced Episodes: S1 E22 "Devil's Trap" CW: None. Word Count: 5518 Recommended Song: The End of The Innocence -- Don Henley Previous Chapter -- Masterlist -- Next Chapter

I hid down the long, dark hallway, taking deep struggling breaths. She was dead. She was dead because of us. I ran a hand through my hair, tugging at the roots and curling my fist in frustration. There had to have been another way, one that didn't involve her death.

I snuck a glance over my shoulder at Meg’s sagged, bloody, broken form and gagged, quickly retracting my gaze and holding back the rising bile. I had never been good at handling death. It was one thing if there was no other choice, but a frivolous, avoidable death... that was something else entirely.

It felt like a tremendous weight had been dropped onto my shoulders, pushing me down and against the wall until I was seated with my head hanging limply between my knees.

I couldn't even begin to understand what she had gone through. Possession was a new concept to me, nothing more than a myth that I would never experience, for obvious reasons. What was it like to not have control over your own body? What was it like to have to sit back and watch a demon's nefarious activities? I was thankful that I would never know, and for once I was ecstatic that I didn't have a soul.

The brothers and Bobby spoke in hushed voices in the kitchen. My ears roared as my heart pounded, blocking their whispers. If I focused, I was sure I could hear them, but I didn't feel the need. I didn't want this. How many more humans were going to die on this crusade? I thought the whole point was to save people...

I turned to look over my shoulder, eyes raking down Meg's broken corpse. Already, she smelled stale and lifeless. Her lips were blue and her skin was steadily paling as her temperature dropped. I swallowed dryly and pulled my wide eyes from her body.

The brothers stormed into the living room, their eyes avoiding the body with mixed looks of guilt, and rushed for their stuff. My pulse pounded as a swell of anger filled my chest – Dean didn't care that she was just a girl, and Sam hadn't even tried to stop him. How could they have just let that happen? Sam tucked the Key of Solomon under his arm and searched the many stacks of books for anything else he may be able to use.

"We need to go," Dean called to me, slinging his coat over his arm. I stood on shaky legs, brushed the dust off my jeans, and bit back an angry retort. Everything was happening so fast.

Dean marched from the room, a determined spring in his step. He looked so sure of himself now like he had a goal and now had a way to achieve that. His confidence was often contagious, but this time I didn't feel it. How could he have confidence after what we just witnessed?

Bobby called my name from the kitchen. I shuffled through the doorway, keeping as much distance between me and Meg's body as possible. Bobby had a stern scowl on his aged features, wrinkles folding his forehead in worry. Under his arm was a book, which he quickly handed to me.

My fingers slipped over the worn leather cover of the book as I grasped it and took it from him. My eyes scanned the title in surprise. The Creation of Monsters, the same book I had been looking at before Meg's arrival. I looked at Bobby with shock, wide-eyed and subtly terrified.

"Do you-" I started to ask, but was quickly cut off by his raised palm, silencing me.

"Of course, I know. You think I can't spot a non-human, after how long I've been hunting?" he said with a teasing grin rising on his cheeks. "Meg's comments weren't exactly slick either, you know."

"And you're not worried? Do you know what I am?" I questioned, tucking the book under my arm. I doubted any normal hunter would be this calm upon finding out what I was. Perhaps he had already talked to the brothers about me?

Bobby shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I have some ideas, but I'm not going to worry about it now. You can fill me in later," he said with a cocky grin. "Right now, you and the boys need to leave."

I opened my mouth to speak and then quickly shut it with a nod. We didn't have time for all my questions – the paramedics would be here soon, and I didn't particularly want to stick around and wait for them. With one last nervous glance, I whispered a quiet thank you to Bobby and immediately dashed out the door.

The brothers waited at the car, the Impala already purring loudly, its engine thrumming with power. I slid into my seat easily and tossed the book at my side hurriedly.

"What took you so long?" Dean began, glaring into the rearview mirror as he backed out of Bobby's yard. I bit the inside of my cheek to hold back a scathing reply.

"He knows," I answered harsher than intended, earning a confused scowl from both brothers. "He knows I'm a monster."

Dean hit the gas in surprise, the engine roaring loudly and the car springing forward towards the road. "How'd he find out? Did you tell him?"

"No, I thought maybe one of you did," I offered. Both brothers shook their heads. "Then he must have figured it out on his own. I wasn't exactly doing much to hide it, other than not shifting."

"And he didn't... threaten you, or anything?" Sam questioned, twisting in his seat to face me.

I shook my head. "No, he just told me he knew." My fingers dragged down the spine of the book, deep in thought. "He doesn't know the details, but he knows I'm not human."

"So long as he doesn't cause problems, it doesn't matter what he knows," Dean said, gripping the steering wheel tighter. "I trust Bobby- he's not like Dad when it comes to monsters." I flinched, leaning back in my seat. I really didn't need another hunter like John in my life.

For the sake of the brothers, I hoped he was alive, and that he would stay alive until we could get to him. We had a long drive ahead of us, and while I had no doubt Dean would be speeding the whole way, there was only so much distance we could cover in the short window of opportunity we had. I was worried - worried we wouldn't make it in time, worried about the demons, worried about the brothers and the danger they were putting themselves in.

I frowned and pulled my jacket tighter as if it could shield me from my own negative thoughts. My eyes tracked to the back of Dean's head and the image of his rage-filled snarl and pure wrath towards Meg flashed in my mind. It was a terrifying look on him. I hated seeing that look on myself, and I hated it even more on him. Unlike me, Dean was human and capable of free thought. He wasn't driven by hunger and instinct.

And yet he still chose the route that would have someone killed.

I shivered and pulled the book towards me. Truthfully, I didn't have an excuse anymore. I had people to look out for, people who didn't see me as a monster. Bile rose once more in my throat as I thought about the day's events. I felt sick at the thought of Meg's death, and yet, I had done so much worse.

Why did I feel sick at the prospect of someone else's kill, and not my own?

I ran a finger over the faded embossed lettering of the book title, tracing each letter. For a reason I didn't understand, I was scared to open the book. Perhaps it would make me feel like more of a monster just after having overcome my fear. What if I learned something about myself that would plunge me back into that darkness I had struggled to escape from?

None of this was normal.

I reached a tentative hand up to the base of my neck and rested my fingers there, relishing in the small jolt of electricity I felt. The feeling hadn't faded over the last several days- rather, I had just become used to it.

I hooked a finger under the cover of the book and lifted it, revealing faded paper underneath. Maybe the book could tell me something about my odd connection to Caeden.

It was an impressively large book, categorized based on region, and then sub-categorized by culture. My finger skimmed the pages, flipping the section on North American and then to native legends. Skinwalkers were Navajo in origin – I wondered how different the truth was from their legends.

The words were smudged in some places and nearly impossible to read, but there was enough writing left that I could piece it together. My eyes flickered over the crinkled, worn pages, searching for any information I didn't already know.

Skinwalkers are Navajo in origin and believed to be vengeful witches who can control, possess, or turn into animals... This I already knew, but of course, we weren't witches. Perhaps we were once, but we had adapted to be much more wolfish in nature, pack mentality and all.

Much like a pack of wolves, a group of skinwalkers will have one alpha, to which all others respond... The book said nothing of how an alpha was chosen, or how a new alpha could rise to power. There was more to this section, although the next rather lengthy paragraph was smudged and in some places impossible to understand. I stifled a chuckle at the rather basic information the author knew about us.

Various skinwalkers have various conceptual organizations: Their pack organization is dependent on the animal they shapeshift into- My eyes widened at this as I struggled to read the rest of the blurry writing. What did it mean dependent on the animal? Was it possible for a skinwalker to turn into something other than a dog?

I skimmed over the pages, searching for any other information that could possibly answer my growing list of questions. I had never heard of a skinwalker turning into anything other than some form of canine. My father would have told me if it was possible, right? There was no way.

I searched the book for a date or an author, searching for any indication as to when the book was written. Perhaps it was written several hundred years ago when skinwalkers were still abundant. Maybe they had mistaken a skinwalker for some other now-extinct monster.

The notations ended abruptly, leaving a handful of empty pages that the author was surely intending to fill in the future. I flipped through the blank pages until my eyes landed on the next chapter title.

Black dog.

Black dogs were not native to North America – they were a myth from the British Isles, a hound that was synonymous with a hellhound, and brought death with it. I was surprised to see that the author had even chosen to add them to their list of monsters. They were ghosts, nothing more.

The Impala suddenly lurched, skidding across the gravel road and pulling towards the side of the road with sudden speed. "What the hell, Dean!?" I questioned as I was thrown forward in my seat, the book sliding from my hands and to the floor, the pages crinkling even more than they already had been.

"Gas station," he grumbled out, speeding into a parking spot. "We need to stock up on supplies." I huffed and folded my arms over my chest. As if we didn't have enough weapons and salt to defeat an army. Hell, we had an incantation and weird runes now added to the arsenal.

The brothers exited the car without question and Dean made his way to the store with a spring in his step, leaving Sam to refill the Impala with gas. I glared at his back and slid out of my seat. Was he ever going to address what had happened at Bobby's house? I doubted it.

I didn't understand how Dean and I could always share odd moments together before everything went to shit. Like everything was normal and we were just people – and then suddenly something would go wrong, or someone would do something stupid.

Was I even really mad at him? Partially, yes. I didn't think John was worth the loss of several lives, and who knew how many people would be killed on Dean's quest for revenge. Of course, I would never tell him that.

I glanced over my shoulder at Sam, whose back was to me. I scowled at his broad back and leaned against the Impala, drumming my fingers on my arm in thought. Why hadn't he stopped Dean from taking it too far?

Why hadn't I stopped him?

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, ruffling it and glaring at my boots with disdain. There had to have been some other way, right? Some way where Meg could have lived and we would still have the information we needed. I grimaced and kicked at a pebble beneath my shoe. It couldn't be undone, no matter how much I wished it could be.

It wasn't long before Dean exited the small gas station with several more bags of salt in their hands and deposited them in the back seat beside my collapsed book. He moved to stand beside Sam, on the opposite side of the car from me and peered over his brother's shoulder at the open book in Sam's hands.

Wordlessly, Sam made his way to the rear of the car, a piece of chalk in hand, and began drawing on the corner of the trunk. My eyes widened in shock, tracing each stroke he made with horror – he was drawing on the Impala.

"Dude, what are you drawing on my car!?" Dean shouted and ran to the symbol Sam had drawn, tracing his fingers over the chalk that didn't seem to want to leave the chrome paint.

"Relax," Sam said softly, drawing an identical symbol on the other end. "It's called a Devil's trap. Demons can't get through it or inside it."

"So?" Dean questioned, clearly growing agitated at Sam's vague answer.

"It basically turns the trunk into a lockbox," the younger Winchester responded as if that made everything so much clearer.

"So!?" Dean shouted, throwing his hands in the air in increased frustration. Sam frowned at his brother's impatience and placed the chalk down, satisfied with his symbols.

"So, we have a place to hide the Colt while we go get Dad," Sam replied bluntly. I flinched, knowing full well an argument was brewing.

"What are you talking about?" Dean questioned with furrowed brows and tight lips. "We're taking the Colt with us."

"We can't Dean," Sam quipped. "We've only got three bullets left. We can't waste them on a demon, we need to use them on the demon." I frowned and cast my eyes to the ground in thought. If we didn't take the Colt, how the hell were we supposed to make it out alive? But if we did take it, we risked running out of bullets.

"We need to save Dad, and we can't do that without the gun," the elder Winchester spat, his tone low and frankly frightening. "And that means taking the gun-"

I snapped my eyes up to his and snarled, his voice fading into silence. "So you're going to jeopardize countless lives by wasting bullets?"

"We won't waste the bullets," he snapped back. "Saving dad isn't a waste-"

"John is more important than hundreds, maybe thousands of lives? Countless children left motherless, like you?" I snapped pushing away from the car and glowering at him. "Your father is worth innocent lives?"

"Yes!" he shouted back, slamming his palms onto the trunk. "Because with Dad, we can make a plan to kill this bastard, bullets or not-"

"And how many more innocent people have to die before that happens!?" I shouted, flailing my arms in anger. Sam held a hand up and pressed it lightly on my shoulder, which I rapidly shrugged off. "Dean, we've already killed one girl today! How many more are you planning on murdering?"

He fell silent with a dangerous grimace on his lips, drawn back to reveal his gritted teeth. His fingers dug into the chrome paint, his joints slowly turning red from the force he was exerting on the vehicle.

"Do you know how pissed dad would be if he found out we used the bullets?" Sam offered, attempting to reason with his brother. I scowled at Dean, his eyes never leaving my own- hell, I didn't even know if he was really listening to what Sam had to say. "Dean, he'd be furious."

"Since when did you care about what dad wants?" Dean snapped, finally flickering his eyes to Sam. His younger brother's jaw tensed, teeth clenched tightly.

"We both want the demon dead. You used to want that too," Sam reasoned, his tone pleading. "You're the one who came and got me at school, man! You dragged me back into this, I'm just trying to finish it!"

Dean scoffed and folded his arms tightly. "You and Dad are a lot more alike than I thought, you know that? You both can't wait to sacrifice yourself for this thing. But you know what? I'm gonna be the one to bury you," he spat, glowering darkly at his brother with so much condensed rage that I thought he might just skin Sam. "You're selfish, you know that? You don't care about anything but revenge."

I bristled and tightened my grip on the edge of the car. "You're a fucking hypocrite," I hissed out. Dean's eyes snapped to mine, the fury dissipating ever so slightly. "Like you didn't just have a girl killed because she hurt John."

He growled and narrowed his eyes in annoyance. "Would you forget about the girl-"

"No!" I shouted, slamming my hands down on the car. "Dean, our job is to save people, not condemn them!"

"And we're supposed to condemn ourselves instead!?" Dean shouted back, viridian eyes blazing with rage. "Look, without Dad, we're not going to be able to even get close to this demon. We need him!"

"And we'll get him back!" Sam countered. "Without the Colt."

The brothers glared at each other, holding their heated stare for several long moments. Finally, Dean growled out in frustration and ran his hands furiously through his hair. He withdrew the Colt from the waistband of his jeans, held it up for us to see, and then tossed it into the trunk.

"If we die, I'm going to kill you both," he spat and slammed the trunk shut. "Let's go."

—

I traipsed behind the boys, eyes glued to my shoes and hands buried deep in my pockets, a scowl on my features. I hadn't said a word since we had started walking, avoiding any and all conversation and instead choosing to dwell on my own thoughts.

I was so tired of people dying, people in my life, people that the boys cared about. No one deserved to die, not by my hands and certainly not by the demons. I was so tired of it, tired of every day being a fight for survival, every hunt potentially being the last.

I wanted out.

I doubted I'd ever be able to leave hunting behind, not now that I had a taste for it. The fact that I could make a difference despite being a monster myself was intoxicating. It was a thrill I'd never be able to let go of, no matter how much I wanted to.

How many more people had to die until I was satisfied, until I could leave this all behind? How many more people would die when I left? It was a paradox – either way, I would never be able to save everyone. I was beginning to understand every hunter’s pessimism.

I inhaled deeply, relishing in the feeling of my lungs expanding to their full capacity, that feeling of tightness that momentarily alleviated my anxiety. I wanted nothing more than to make this hunt my last, to be done with this life as soon as the demon was done. All I wanted was to go home and find its walls blissfully quiet. Silent and alone, without a single worry about how to feed my pack, or keeping the Winchesters safe. Alone, like I had been months ago before the Winchesters broke into my home and dragged me into their schemes.

"Hey, hey," Dean whispered, stopping in his tracks and holding up a hand to halt our small procession. "I think I know what Meg meant by sunrise."

I followed his gaze to a small sign in front of a brick building, humans milling around out front. Sunrise Apartments. I pursed my lips in thought, eyes flickering between the humans.

"Son of a bitch," Dean whispered out in obvious surprise. He almost sounded impressed. "That's pretty smart. I mean, if these demons can possess people they can possess almost anybody inside."

"Yeah, and make anybody attack us," Sam offered, eyes narrowed in thought. He peaked out further from around a bush, eyes trailing up the length of the massive building. "They probably know exactly what we look like, too. And they could look like anybody."

"We have to get the humans out, somehow," I spoke, voice icy cold. "Otherwise, they're going to get killed." Dean's eyes flickered to mine and I avoided his gaze, instead gazing up at the building. I swallowed dryly, counting the number of stories it boasted. Great, I thought. I hated heights with a passion.

"So we pull the fire alarm," Dean offered with a shrug like it was the simplest thing in the world. "That gives us, what, seven minutes to find Dad and get out? Easy." He spun to face me, a determined look in his eyes. "You think you can track the sulfur?"

"Do I look like a bloodhound?" He raised an eyebrow, an indication that he just wanted me to answer. "Yeah, I can do it," I grumbled and held back an indignant pout.

"Good," he replied and turned his attention back to Sam. "You handle the alarm, we'll handle getting in," he told his brother, gesturing between us. Sam nodded and disappeared around the corner, headed for the building.

We waited behind the bush, watching the building and waiting for the crowd to rush out. I tapped my foot impatiently, the scent of the briny river filling my senses. Finally, my ears were filled with a soft ringing and I tapped Dean on the shoulder to alert him. Moments later, Sam jogged out and made his way towards us, the crowd filing out behind him.

It wasn't long before I could hear the sounds of sirens in the distance and urged the brothers forward and into the crowd, mingling with the apartment residents. The firetrucks came whizzing around the corner, sliding to a screeching halt, and out-raced a mass of firemen, carrying hoses with them.

Dean pushed through the crowd and began talking to a firefighter, distracting the unassuming man while Sam picked the lock on the back of a truck. Inside the truck were rows of gear, which Sam and I quickly pulled off of racks.

Dean slipped into the back of the truck and I tossed some stray equipment at him, which he readily slipped on. "Damn, this stuff is heavy," he muttered, slipping the coat on and struggling to button it. Sam chuckled as he slid his helmet on. "Aren't you going to grab a suit?" the elder Winchester questioned, slipping the helmet and visor over his head until the polycarbonate nearly obscured his green eyes.

I shook my head and placed my hands confidently on my hips, hoping it masked my nerves. "I figured I'd go with a fire dog for this," I said with a grin.

Dean suppressed a laugh, pulling an oxygen tank full of holy water onto his back. "Sure, Sparky. You want us to paint you like a Dalmatian while we're at it?"

I shook my head with a grin and pushed the door to the truck open, allowing the boys to step out. Once they were safely on the ground I shifted, my paws landing on the rough ground and shaking out my fur. I would never get over that feeling of my bones snapping and muscles tearing. It was far less painful than when I first shifted, and while still severely unpleasant, and remained one of my favorite feelings.

Wordlessly, the three of us made our way towards the building and I stuck close to Sam, scrunching myself up so I looked at least a little smaller than I really was. I couldn't shake the nervous glances cast my way as I made my way up the steps and through the door into the apartment building. It must have been quite the sight, a massive black wolf accompanied by two firefighters.

I raced down the hallway with the brothers jogging at my sides, struggling under the weight of their heavy costumes. The brothers opened door after door for me, allowing me access to each floor as I ran up and down the halls, tracking the scent of sulfur.

Finally, I caught a whiff of it on the third floor and quickened my pace to a dead sprint, navigating the maze of halls and plain-looking doors until I skidded to a stop. The trail ended abruptly, disappearing through the doorway. I bent my head until my nose was almost pressed to the ground, searching for any scent beneath the door. I gagged on the stench of rotten eggs and took a few stumbling steps back, growling at the door.

Dean pounded a clenched fist against the wooden door, it caving ever so slightly under the weight of his fist. "This is the fire department!" he shouted, his voice muffled by the visor. "You need to evacuate!"

The sound of a lock being undone caught my attention and my ears flattened to my skull. Together, the brothers tossed the door open to reveal two demons, waves of sulfur pouring off of them. They aimed their hoses at them in a synchronized manner and sprayed the pair of hellspawn with holy water, their skin boiling and burning.

I snarled and lunged forward, knocking the petite woman over, water cascading over me with no chance of reaching my skin through the thick tufts of black fur. The woman hissed, her eyes completely blackened, and swatted out, her palm connecting with my furry cheek. I growled and gripped her wrist in my hand, snapping the bones and dragging her towards a small linen closet where the brothers had the other demon pinned.

Sam dragged the possessed woman to her feet and shoved her into the closet with her companion while Dean salted the edge of the door. All movement from within quickly ceased and the apartment fell silent.

I shifted back, landing on shaky feet, and gripped my stinging cheek that I was sure was beginning to redden. The Winchesters began pulling off their equipment, revealing their weapons hidden underneath.

Gear discarded, we began searching, eyes flickering over the small apartment. My hand rested on a small handgun on my waist, thankful that I at least had some sort of weapon in case things went to shit.

The sound of a creaking door and a raging heartbeat caught my attention and I spun to see Dean standing in the doorway of the bedroom, a stricken look on his handsome features. "Dad?" he spoke softly and dashed into the room, Sam and I not far behind.

John was tied to the ends of the bed, spread eagle and unmoving. My heart fluttered with nerves. Were we too late? Dean ran to the edge of the bed, shaking his father and placing an ear near his mouth. "He's still breathing!" he exclaimed, evidently relieved.

I jumped into action, moving towards the bed, but Sam held out an arm, stopping me in my tracks. He held up a flask of holy water and uncapped it. "Dean, wait. He could be possessed for all we know."

Dean's eyes flickered up, full of shock and confusion. "Are you nuts?" he questioned, reaching for his father's bindings.

"We need to be sure," Sam grumbled and splashed the holy water gently across John's face. I breathed a sigh of relief as the water slid down his face, rather than burning his skin.

Suddenly, John began to move, his head rocking back and forth as he blinked his eyes open groggily. "Sam?" he asked, squinting up at his youngest son. "Why are you splashing water on me?"

That was enough for me. I raced to undo his bindings, plucking at the thick rope and pulling at the tight knots. They slipped from his ankles and his wrists and he struggled to sit up with Dean bracing his back. "You alright, Dad?" he inquired.

John shook his head and slumped his shoulders slightly. "They've been drugging me," he said simply. I furrowed my brows and glared at the ropes draped over the edge of the bed – why keep him drugged if he was already pinned down? I supposed it made him easier to manage. "Where's the Colt?" he asked, rubbing a calloused palm against his temple.

"It's safe," Sam replied, pulling one of John's arms over his shoulders and off the bed.

My hackles rose and I turned slowly to face the doorway. My skin prickled and I peered out of the room and into the hallway. Something was wrong. "Guys, I think we need to move-"

The door splintered and was thrown open by a man in a fireman's uniform, an ax gripped tightly in his hands, eyes black as obsidian. "Shit!" I heard Dean shout as I reached for the gun on my waist and whipped to face them.

Sam carelessly tossed an open bag of salt to me and I barely caught it, spilling small grains onto the short carpet. "Go!" I shouted, motioning to the window, and fire escape before slamming the bedroom door shut, lining the edge of the door with salt.

I screamed and fell backward as the ax came through the door, splintering the wood. Scrambling for purchase, I hauled myself to my feet and raced for the window, stepping out onto the fire escape and scrambling down the ladder.

I ran to catch up with the brothers as Dean hobbled along with his father and Sam trailing behind with the duffel bags. Suddenly, a dark blur streaked across the road, colliding with Sam and sending him sprawling across the concrete.

"Sam!" Dean shouted, dragging his father a bit further, leaning him against a truck, and running towards Sam. I lunged forward at a dead sprint – I wasn't going to make it before Dean, not even if I shifted. The demon beat down on Sam's face, one hand gripping the front of his shirt and the other pummeling the youngest Winchester mercilessly.

Dean sprinted forward and gripped the demon on the back of his coat. The demon didn't even spare him a glance as he swung his arm back, colliding with Dean's chest and sending him flying into the hood of a car.

With an enraged snarl, I crashed into the demon, sending him sprawling onto the ground, fists flying wildly and meeting ribs, stomach, and face. Through the flurry of blows, I could hardly tell what I was hitting, nor could I feel the demon's heavy hits on my own body. I gripped its face, nails digging into the demon's skin, and slammed its head down onto the concrete.

"Move!" Dean shouted, stumbling to his feet. I cast my eyes to him briefly and the demon took the opportunity to shove me away, sending me tumbling to the ground several feet away. I staggered to my feet, gripping the side of a shiny Ford Focus and hauling myself to my feet.

I shook as a cacophonous bang rang through the wide alleyway and with it a dramatic hissing and sizzling sound. With wide eyes and a slackened jaw, my gaze fell upon the staggering demon, a bullet hole in the center of its forehead. It collapsed, the human skeleton illuminating through the thick layers of skin.

Behind the demon stood Dean, holding the Colt at the ready, his gaze fiery with contempt. Silently, he ran to Sam's side and pulled his taller brother to his feet, urging some semblance of groggy consciousness into him.

I dashed towards the pair, hoisting the duffel bags from the ground and onto my shoulders. My eyes never left the crumpled body that lay limp on the asphalt, blood pooling beneath the fallen man.

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #dean winchester fic #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural x reader #fluff #angst #slow burn #cross posted on ao3 #cross posted on wattpad #monster reader #Monster #original characters #original monster characters #x reader #female reader

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stabbyfoxandrew · 4 months

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I like to collect my questions, so I don't spam your askbox every time a random thought pops into my head. Instead, I just do one big spam because apparently I collected way more questions than I expected, ups. The Angel Neil AU is just so cute, I want to grab its (metaphorical) cheeks and squeeze them. It's also sad, and funny, and interesting, and you balance it all in such a nice way. I've also always had a thing for otherworldly beings, so it just all adds to my obsession for this perfect creation. Anyway, here it goes.

Can angels be re-assigned if they don't like their protectee? Like, if they really really hate them. Does Neil ever get cold? Can he just manifest an outfit, or does he have to physically change (could he manifest the angel outfit that Andrew has been daydreaming about hehe)? Can he teleport? For example, if Andrew was in danger and he was far away (i.e. on a roof), would he have to physically walk/fly there? Can he phase through walls? Can Neil see other guardian angels around, or would they also have to "turn off" their invisibility? Does he always have to be within a specific radius of Andrew? How far high has he flown? Does he have to breathe? Has he touched the clouds? Have Aaron, Nicky, and Kevin all talked amongst themselves about Andrew's absences? Or has each one just noticed separately? Has Kevin noticed? If so, what does he think of it? Speaking of Kevin, how is he feeling lately? I hope Kevin has a guardian angel somewhere too, the poor guy deserves it.

I hope it wasn't too much, it was more than I remembered having :') ily too, how is your week going?

Aw hon, you can spam me anytime. But I totally understand saving up questions. Either is fine. <3 By the way, I’m really sorry it’s taken me so long to get around to answering. I literally said to send me questions and then didn’t answer for two weeks. TwT I’m so sorry. orz

Ahh. Thank you for all the compliments! <3 I also have always loved the supernatural. Werewolves, vampires, demons, angels. They’re all such fun creatures to read/write about. :D

Answers for your questions under the cut because this is almost 900 words and I don't want to block everyone's dashes because most people probably don't care.

Yes, I think that angels could be reassigned! If absolutely necessary. Because imagine changing your charge and the new one is worse! And you’re stuck with this shittier one till it dies? And if you let it die on purpose, you lose your job and stop existing? Like… D: Yikes either way.

But, most angels don’t talk to their charges. They watch from overhead and intervene when they need to. During down time, most angels generally just hang out with other angels. But… Neil doesn’t know that. And even if he did, he’d rather be with Andrew than some random winged bitch. You know?

Neil can and does get cold/hot!

Neil is still wearing the outfit he died in. He could probably use his Angel Powers to create different clothes, but he doesn’t know how. And besides, these clothes are fine. (Me: You died in them, Neil. / Neil: But they’re comfortable.) But yeah! If he really wanted to, nothing is stopping Neil from popping into the mall and stealing some clothes. Like… he’s stolen before. And he’s invisible now. It would be so easy. He just doesn’t care to.

If Neil asked, Andrew would buy him more clothes and bring them up to the roof. But as we know Neil has a hard time asking for anything. So he won’t.

Yes. Neil can just PING to Andrew. (Mild spoiler for a much later part of the fic so skip to the next paragraph if you want to avoid! Before they met, Neil wasn’t a great guardian angel. He thought of being an angel as his second chance at life and wandered around doing whatever he wanted. Until he first felt that pull and realized Andrew needed him. And he popped right to him.)

Neil generally just follows Andrew however his human is traveling. If Andrew is walking to class, Neil walks beside him. If Andrew is in a car or on the team bus, Neil sits on top of the vehicle. He’s thought about taking a free seat in the bus, but he’s afraid he’ll accidentally Become Visible and freak Andrew out. So he hasn’t done it yet.

I hadn’t really thought about it, but why not? :) He can be invisible, he should get other Ghost Qualities. So, sure. He can walk through walls, disappear, and fly! (Sorry for the Danny Phantom reference. But not really.)

Neil hasn’t seen any other angels around. He will eventually! (I’m not sure if they’re purposely hiding from him or not.)

He doesn't have to be in a specific radius of Andrew. There's no limit to how far away he can be and he tested it a lot when he was first given to Andrew.

He enjoys flying, but he never strays too far. At least, not since that first Incident. Sometimes when he’s bored out of his mind, he’ll go up, up, up and glide back down until he gets tired of that. But it stretches his wings and he can see all sorts of things from so high up. :)

Neil does breathe. He probably doesn't have to have to, but it's a habit carried over from his human life so he still does.

He probably flew through some clouds early on. I imagine learning to fly on your own would be difficult, so controlling the Come Down Aspect would’ve been challenging for him.

Oh yeah, I think they’ve all definitely noticed. And Aaron keeps asking the others about it, but they of course have no idea where Andrew’s been going so they just shrug. Kevin also hates that Andrew keeps disappearing, because hello. This man is supposed to be his partner now, at his side and keeping him safe/sane. But he knows that all he has to do is call Andrew and he’ll come back. So he’s not that worried. Nicky thinks Andrew has met someone, either a girlfriend or a friend group, and he’s happy for him.

Kevin is feeling alright lately. His hand is getting better by the day and the team is… Well, it’s not getting Worse. So he can’t complain too much. Also, he does have a guardian angel. :)

Oh my god, you’re absolutely fine! <33 Like I said, I want to talk about my fics. I want to answer your questions! It’s fun. And it helps me, you know? Like, I hadn’t really thought about the Nicky/Kevin/Aaron situation before. (Sometimes I forget there are other characters in this fic because it’s usually just Andrew and his angel.) But your question made me think about it. And now I have a new idea for later! :) So thanks. <33

Also, the past two weeks have been… A blur? Like always. :’) I don’t really know. I mean, I’ve been trying to write more and working on the kevjean vampire thing. And also I’ve been playing a lot of Webkinz, one of my favorite childhood pastimes. So… Yeah. :) I hope you’re doing good! I love you. <333 Thanks for the questions and the patience. <333

#once again i am sorry it took so long for me to reply. i've been Dumb Brained since the day i was born.#WIP Wednesday #Guardian Angel Neil AU #answered #bribery-of-monkeys #love #comment #questions

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monstah-kitty-katz · 4 months

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My boundaries (Mii related)

okay I'm gonna have to make this a pinned post, cause since I've heard that the Mii community can be out pocket and when it comes to Mii's so, I'm gonna need to atleast put my foot down before people start going haywire on me. If you don't agree with me in some of my decisions that's on you.

• When it comes to how I portray some Mii's you have to remember that my interpretation of certain Mii's may not be the same, nothing is wrong with ur interpretation of the Mii characters (as long as you don't portray them as weird or problematic, in a sense that is very insensitive or in bad faith)

•I DON'T CARE IF YOU HATE CERTAIN MII, IM MAKING FANART OF THEM BECAUSE I WANT TOO, LET PEOPLE HAVE FUN!!!

• Please no fighting over who's the best of whatever and please don't shove anyone's opinions down their throats please....

•keep in mind I WILL DO EVENTUALLY some OCCASIONAL NSFW or just suggestive art, so minors please be cautious if you do interact with my content, I don't want minors to be uncomfortable and I don't recommend following me, please go follow more SFW stuff. However I'm still not responsible for people engaging my content I even put it in my bio and I will ALWAYS put a warning to warn people ahead of time.

• any Hee-joon hate here will result into immediate blocking especially calling him a pedophile (LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE)

•How I portray some Mii characters you may or may not like, remember that im making them just as flawed as we are

•please don't force me to draw your favorite Mii, besides requests are not available at this time so draw them yourself will ya :))

• NO DRAMA I CAME HERE TO HAVE FUN!!! NO DRAMA KEEP UR MUSKY MOUTH ABOUT DRAMA TO URSELF!!

•if you have beef with me then get the fuck out i dunno why ur here lmao 🤣🤣💀💀

•For the love of God please please please!!!! Be civil about my headcanons and what not I just want to share my creations and make the Mii community a better place, my goal is to clean up whatever mess there is and make the Mii community a better environment for everyone 🩷🩷🩷🩷

Edit: decided to fix some typos as well as adding more rules

• you can use my art for inspiration as long as you are not tracing it or claiming it as ur own

• Any hate comments about any other Mii or even me as a person will result in an instant blocking.

• you don't get to control what I post, I will even sometimes make art work that dives into sensitive topics so while yes I'll still have warnings it's still you're responsibility to manage your triggers and to know when to stop engaging content that's not suitable for you

I'm only here to make the Mii community a better place then it was before I know I can't really change how people feel but what I can do is ofc bring justice to certain Mii's and just overall be a positive member within the community 🩷🩷🩷💕💕💕

#i love miis #mii enjoyer #miiblr #wii sports #wii sports club #wii party u

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sanityshorror · 8 months

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SERIOUS. To whoever in the creepypasta fandom/community is trying to restart drama from a year ago over anons:

Please stop. Seriously, stop! Stop bothering me, stop bothering others about me, stop bothering the other parties and people about the other parties. I condone NONE of this. I want NONE of this. I do NOT want drama. I have all the other parties blocked to prevent risking anon trolls starting this, I've had them blocked for a year. I ask the other parties who don't have me blocked, to please do so. Not because so we can be hostile behind each other's backs but to show a mutual agreement of leaving each other alone. Make it harder for these anon trolls to keep instigating on both sides. I do not condone harassing ANYONE. I want to leave this in the past for good. I keep to myself.

I WILL ALSO MAKE THIS CLEAR: leave Tori/mystical sorcery ALONE unless you are going to send her kind words supporting her creations. Do NOT harass her. If I find out who is harassing her, I will chew you out myself - even if you are my fan, I don't care - leave Tori ALONE. I'm incredibly upset to have found out people are still having the audacity to harass her. I do not expect her to defend me but I absolutely will defend her. /Gen /Serious

To those threatening me to make my life hell again: I'm begging, stop it. I'm not the one sending any harassment. I left Creepypasta and I want nothing to do with the community. The stress this is causing me is making me physically ill, my chest hurts from the stress and panic, many things have been triggered again.... Just please stop. Id appreciate an apology but if you can't do that then please just stop.

I cannot handle this. And I'm sure Tori is feeling very similar at the prospect of this all being dragged up again. I sent Tori an ask off anon regarding this because I wanted to make it clear personally to her that I am not okay with how people have been harassing her. Seriously, leave her alone and leave me alone. We both want to move on with our lives and focus on creating our own work. Why can't you let us both do that???

I am literally begging, whoever is doing this, stop! Please. Just stop. You are harming people and doing so very purposely out of a place that is clear malice.

#important #creepypasta #creepypasta fandom #discourse #this pot stirring is not okay #🎶let it go ❄️❄️ let out go~~~~ ❄️❄️❄️ 🎶

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starwarsotsource · 1 year

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About reposting gifs

As I mentioned yesterday, one of our gifs was reposted without credit on someone's blog, which I found through my tracked tags. I first left a comment on OP's post telling them the gif was mine, linking to the original post, and to please delete it. When I saw that the post was still up hours later, but my comment was gone, I left another comment repeating what I'd said, and I made a post here warning users about that blog. The blog is deleted now, so I wanted to talk a bit more about what happened.

➡️ Fanwork creators can do very little if our work is reposted on Tumblr

For those who don't know, it used to be that you could report posts to Tumblr as reposted content if you were the creator by providing a link to the original post - this extended to fanworks. Now, only copyright holders can request for content to be taken down. Tumblr has left fandom creators without recourse to protect our work, so the only thing we can do now is ask people to take down their posts when it happens and hope for the best.

I know that sometimes people repost gifs and fanart because they genuinely don't know that it's frowned upon. But there are also blogs filled to the brim with content they stole from other creators and are trying to pass as their own, unfortunately.

Blasting someone's blog like I did is not the kindest course of action, but by having my comment deleted, I assumed it hadn't been a genuine mistake. I also assumed that, after I left that second comment, OP would block me and that'd be that. I shared what had happened so people would know not to reblog that post, because that's the other thing - it's not just that our creations are now in someone else's blog, it's that they're going to be reblogged from that person and there's no way to stop it after that happens.

➡️ What I want to happen if you reposted my work

I woke up today to a private message from OP apologizing and saying that they would delete their blog. This is not what I'd asked or wanted, and I'm very sorry about it. I know I could have been kinder, but again, I had reason to believe OP simply didn't care, and I did the only thing I could think of to stop the damage.

I don't want you to delete your blog or leave a fandom if you mess up! I just want you to delete the post, apologize and do better.

➡️ Why you shouldn't do this

Saving someone else's gif that you found on Tumblr, or looking up gifs on Google, and uploading them into a new post on your blog along with other gifs you found is not cool. Like artists and writers, gif makers spend years learning how to use software and honing their skills; they spend their own time looking up screencaps, working on their ideas, and fine-tuning how gifs look; they create gifs for specific sets with specific ideas. It's our content. We don't want our credit to be erased, and we don't want our gifs to be part of gifsets we didn't intend them for. If I wrote a fanfic, and someone lifted a paragraph from it and inserted it into their own fic, that'd be bad, right? It's the same here.

And if that wasn't enough, there's been a huge decline for the past years in the number of notes we get, because less people use the reblog button now. Seeing our gifs duplicated doesn't help.

➡️ "What do I do if I want to..."

👉 Share this cool gifset I found on Tumblr? Reblog it! Using the reblog button is not the same as reposting - that is when you save a gif to your computer and upload it to a new post on your blog. We want you to reblog our posts!

👉 Share this cool gif I found on Google? Instead of immediately saving it to your computer from the results page, click on the image so you're taken to the source. If the source is Tumblr, you can reblog the post from there straight to your blog!

👉 Share this cool gif I found, but not the rest of the gifset? People generally create gifs in the context of a set. Say I make a set with gifs of Luke, Han and Leia, but you only want the Luke gifs. I'm sorry, but I still made it for that specific set of Luke, Han and Leia. Fortunately, there are thousands of gifsets of just Luke that you can look up and reblog!

👉 Make a new set with these cool gifs I found in different posts? Same as above. It's not a buffet. You can either reblog the original gifsets as they are, or you can learn to make your own!

👉 Share these cool gifs with my own commentary? Unless you're being obnoxious, attacking OP, or adding discourse, people generally don't mind if you add harmless comments when you reblog a gifset. You can also leave comments in tags, or in the replies section of posts.

👉 What about using the Tumblr built-in Add GIF function in posts? Yes, that's a good alternative! This feature automatically credits the original creator by adding their username that links to their blog, and it can't be removed. The original creator also gets notified if someone uses their gif in a post, which is cool - that way, we can at least see where our gifs are being used. Keep in mind that if a creator asks you to remove their gif from your post for whatever reason, the right thing to do is comply. Can you put together a whole gifset with this function? Technically yes, but a) it won't look good on your blog, and b) it's still not a cool thing to do to creators. Consider using this function only if you want to add reactions, headers, or sprinkle related gifs in your posts. Like this!

I hope this was helpful!

#mod post #gif theft #swcreators

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retired-yowane · 1 year

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Do Yowane hear about my blog?

Hey, I'm Yowane Haku. I work hard, study hard and hardly get to enter sleep mode. I'm aiming to become a top vocaloid and have concerts and merch and stuff...

Ugh I feel so awkward writing about myself like this. Whatever intro is done who cares if it's short. I'll let my mildly infuriating ...associate give you the rest of the details. See ya.

Sorry about her, she can be a bit moody sometimes. Anyway if you want to send Yowane an ask here's the stuff you need to know:

This blog is just for fun. I'm not associated with Crypton, Sega or Caffein.

I'm using the "failing vocaloid" interpretation for Yowane. So please keep that in mind when asking stuff.

Please do not be weird. Best guideline I can give is would feel comfortable receiving that ask from a stranger? If yes it's probably good to go. If no then maybe don't.

OOC (out of character) is in these Thingymabobbers [wahoo] or after || in the tags

Any post where I am mean to the SONiKA blog or vice versa is chill. SONiKA official is run by me and my irl friends. kinda. not really (Check @sonika-official pinned for details)

Yowane is often depicted as drunk and/or seen with alcohol. Block [#yowane drink] to avoid seeing that

TERFs and other TOS breakers will be banished to blocked users list.

One thing I would like to address is Yowane's creation. She was made to represent people who whine about how hard vocaloid is and make poorly constructed songs. I personally like to take this and make it more positive. Yowane might represent failure but failure imparts knowledge and knowledge leads to sucess. Also Yowane might fail but she never stops. Even if she complains while doing it she keeps on choogling.

Okay goodbye for now me and Yowane hope to hear from you soon.

PS. Check out this post by hatsunemiku-official for a list of other officialoid blogs!

#pinned

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grumpy-zane · 1 year

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((Hello everyone! Today I was asked to get all of the times @alanshee had mentioned the Dii debacle, since they had claimed that they had not talked about it until recently. SO! I am going to put it all here to prove a point :)

If you're not interested, feel free to skip!

This is going to be in Chronological order because its best that way. This is going to start with the first official inclination that there was a falling out. Anything from here on out that springs up in relation to it will be listed.

So this is my formal notice

I am going on hiatus I have lost four friends in just two weeks. I am emotionally really not okay one of them just randomly blocked me I wen...

You show all the respect in the world and people still break their promises

If you're a character creator and you've split from somebody don't block them for trying to respectfully look for descriptions for character...

I'm just that Best Friend

I told you that I was scared that this group would end up the same as the others and you all promised me "We won't we would never block you

The Archivist

Me about a month ago *Finishes art piece excited* Hey guys look-*remembers the person I drew it for cut me off* oh that's right...*tucks awa

The Archivist

hey I did ask the author of benevolence of a physician but I wanted to ask the creator of Simone Borg if they knew why she was removed, I en

Diisdoodles took my characters and just reinvented them

I am so goddamn angry I am furious I was being nice I was doing everything properly and then I get a message tonight hey isn't this Violet

((This one makes me pissed off.))

Not Ninjago just need this off of chest

The thing about me is no matter how much hatred there is supposedly between us I will always care I guess that's a foolish part of me that e

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Ha gotta love Memories popping up and being reminded you were thrown out like trash this year and have no friends

Pretty sure I now understand Morro and Harumis Anger at being alone

The Archivist

You want to know the truth because you've poked a balloon that is overfilled so it explodes, like I have stated before I don't care anymore,

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https://www.tumblr.com/alanshee/695584358572130304/the-last-thing-ill-say-before-i-drop-everything

Artwork Dump for Healing purposes

As I am healing from everything, I need to delete these from my Files in my drawing programs gallery each of these characters or in Pixals c

The Archivist

When someone has traumatized you so badly that you have nightmares of abandonment and here's the thing I don't get nightmares I can't even r

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((this next one may be a reach tbh but I thought it was interesting. )) -https://www.tumblr.com/alanshee/711356665157582848/bind-to-protect-your-creations

Stop asking me about it

I get that friend breakups are hard and you feel betrayed but can you stop putting personal drama in the main fandom tag its showing up in G

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((Said this yet here we freaking are I guess.))

My last post on the situation that happened yesterday

I will say outright on my side my viewpoint When I found Diisdoodles it was via Tik Tok, I followed them for a while and then they starte

(( Fin ))

((Its amazing how many times that this situation has been referenced in some way shape or form. ))

#mun rambles

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shiftgear-engineer · 9 months

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Ah, how rude of me! I started using this little app and haven't even introduced myself! Let me get my card~

My name is Lucas, I am a friend to all ghosts~ You can call me anything you'd like as long as it isn't she~ I've stopped by this lovely city as part of a very important investigation alongside my dearest friend :)

Mica. Just Mica. I take care of Regigigas and its creations. I'm a warden. That's it.

Man of few words, my dear friend is~ Now, there's no need to fret! Once we have found what we are looking for, we will return this page to its rightful owner and be on our way! Oh, and do not attempt to alert any authorities of our current activities. I am very good at vanishing~

[Ooc under cut]

[OH BOY ITS THE 100 FOLLOWER EVENT!!!]

[Like I said in the tags of the other post, this is low stakes so no one is getting hurt or killed. Axyl is totally fine and Lucas hasn't hurt them. Neither of them are looking to kill anyone.]

[However, they ARE searching for information about a certain someone >:3c you guys can ask them about their goals or try to pry information from them on what they're doing in Driftveil]

[I don't mind people provoking them or being a little mean, but things like death threats will be deleted and blocked because I find those unacceptable.]

[I just want everyone to have fun with my little slightly edgy duo :) ]

[The event tag is "Lurking Shadows"]

#Lurking Shadows #pokemon irl #pkmn irl #[100 follower event!]

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itsybitsylemonsqueezy · 9 months

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Good morning and happy new year Tumblrinas!

Okay, let's take stock of where we are...

I'm playing Baldur's Gate 3, it's pretty nice. Meant to romance Karlach out the gate but tripped and fell into Gale's lap, whoops. What can I say, the man's a soft touch and I'm into it. Gnome paladin was a great choice, I look hysterical with a greatsword. Just swing me like a catapult at that point.

Starting another save in Pokemon Violet on Switch, just for the lulz. Shouldn't take me too long to run through it. Probably got a craving from having played through around this time last year.

Trying maybe for a second masters. It sucks being in a job you're bored at, so thinking of switching industries. I should enroll in classes for Spring and Summer. I forgot how much work a degree is. But my first class went very well.

Trying very hard to get pregnant, well, my wife is anyway. Please, please let us baby. We'd like a baby. And then it will be my turn to become pregnant. Not, like, immediately, but soon. We'd like a few kids.

In the process of redoing my whole closet. I have a lot of old, worn out things, stuff that doesn't fit anymore, and I asked for gift cards for Christmas, so maybe I can put together a whole new wardrobe. New wardrobe, new me.

Did change my haircut, no more two block situation, now more of a traditional pixie cut. Looks kinda cute c: We'll see how that goes. I haven't had symmetrical hair in awhile. I'm so silver these days 8C

Cooking better all the time. Can't wait to see what new recipes I master this year. I attempted steak last year and it's gone pretty well! Wish lamb was more available in this country, I love lamb so much. I'd cook with it all the time if I could. I really want to make moussaka one of these days, it's so tasty and, I think, achievable.

Utterly haunted by the basil ice cream we had on my birthday though. God. Fuck. It sounds odd but it was... rewrote my brain.

Maybe we'll get to move soon! Now that we've paid for all that fucking sperm, we can save up to move into an actual house! How neat! The housing market here is garbage, big surprise, but I've found a few nice, newer houses closer to my current work that are in a pretty decent school district. I may be seduced.

And just think, then I could get a Costco membership 83 The only thing stopping me now is I have literally nowhere to put all the bulk items I'd be buying. But soon... soon, precious. My wife has never been to Costco, she does not know its cornucopia of treasures. Ugh, I can't wait!

Don't know what I'll write next. I've been toying with trying to do some original work, but I've realized that in my long years of fanfic, my character creation muscles have completely atrophied. How do you all just make little guys? Like, you have to believe in them and care about them, and I'm always 'It has red hair and green eyes... I don't even know what it likes yet!' And then I panic and give up. I just need more practice, I'm sure.

And I've started reading Homestuck.

Well, that's probably about enough to be going on with. Thanks for the listen!

#Big new year's eve kisses to you all #A day late but no matter #long post

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shychick-52 · 1 year

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Weird writers asks- 1, 7, 10, 13 and 19!!!

OOOH, THANKS. :D

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

Times New Roman, size 12. So, standard. I'm used to it, having written in that all my life, plus it's by far the easiest on my eyes. I know there's a trick with some other font that's supposed to increase writing speed or the amount you write, or something, but I always forget to try it!!! DX

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

Breathing life into the characters and scenarios in my head. It's such a fun, almost surreal feeling. Writers are demi-gods, at the very least. We create life. :D It's like that one lyric in the 'Barbie Girl' song- "Imagination, life is your creation!"

I also love sharing my ideas about my favorite characters, including my headcanons, with others. Even though not many people read my stuff, I still love putting them out there. XD

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

I've been haunted by so many wonderful writers' stories, including yours! In other words, a really incredibly-written, powerful story (often heavy on the drama, angst, and hurt/comfort) that stays with me for a long, long time that I can't stop thinking out. One that destroys me in the best way.

As for my own writing, it doesn't necessarily have to be angsty or dramatic, although those are my favorite kind to write about. It's often an idea that I can't stop thinking about, that I HAVE to write or I'll go crazy. Like 'Who Am I?' and 'Circumstances and Control'. And I can't stop thinking about where to take the story next, what to do with the characters (usually it's the multi-chapter stories that haunt me the most), and I lie awake at night planning out details, scenes, and dialogue. And even once each new chapter is posted, or the story is finished, I often re-read them to see if they're as good as I originally envisioned or if I still feel the same pride about them I felt in the first place (and I'm pleased to say they usually do hold up).

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

Anything sexual (especially pure smut). I'm ace/sex-repulsed as hell. I don't have much experience writing or reading about sexual content, let alone... ah, personal experience (because I'm not comfortable with any of it), so I also wouldn't even feel confident trying to write it. (However, I did write a one-shot fenro story called 'A Definitely Real Man', which was SCARY AS HECK because I've never done anything like that before. But to my surprise, it turned out really well.)

Subject matter easy for me to write is anything angsty. Especially where loved ones' lives are at stake or are dead (with lots of grieving, suffering, and even self-blame). I also love writing about abusive (or dead) parents.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I wrote my first fanfic in high-school for the anime series 'Cardcaptor Sakura', which was a really short one-shot. (A friend of mine had introduced me to fanfiction, and after reading a bunch of it, I decided to give it a try too.) As the years went one, I wrote more and more fanfiction for different interests of mine and soon it turned into a life-long hobby to this day.

As far as original writing goes, during my university days I wrote the first two books in a planned-out children's book series I've always wanted to write and publish. Unfortunately, it went through a lot of hiatus and writer's block because I couldn't get the story and characters to work properly. So, I abandoned it until years later when I picked it up again with a whole new idea to make it work; I ended up scrapping most of the original storyline and characters, leaving only the bare bones intact. Since then, it's worked out much better! I'm currently writing the third book in the series and editing the first two, but I don't really know how many books I want the series to be. Maybe two or three more? (I'll probably never get it published, but who knows? At the very least, it's another fun hobby.)

#thanks for the ask!!#weird writers ask

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votestaynight · 1 year

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11th day - "DragonSlay"/12th day - "Interval Level4" (scene 1)

The wind unravels. I start to see the golden sword in Saber's hands. ――The one that must not be used. The sword I told her not to use under any circumstances.

"―――――" I snap. It makes the last rope holding Emiya Shirou snap. "Don't use it, Saber――!!!!!!" My left hand is burning. One of the Command Spells disappears.

"Wha――why? This is the only way now, Shirou…!"

I don't know. I don't know anything about that. All I know is that you'll disappear if you use that. I won't allow that. And I can't forgive myself for not being able to let her use her sword freely and for not being able to save Tohsaka myself.

"Kuh…"

Saber falls to her knees. …Just releasing the sword gets her like that. You can't use that sword in your condition. So wait. If you can't use that sword, I'll make one that you can use――!

――If it is an opponent you cannot match in real life, beat it in your imagination. If you cannot beat it yourself, imagine something that you could beat it with.

With that said, it's obvious. That's the only thing I can do. So make it. Make something that will not lose to anything. Always imagine the strongest. Imagine the best imitation that will deceive everybody, even yourself.

It is not difficult at all. It is not impossible. From the beginning, this body was… …A Magic Circuit specialized for this purpose alone――!! "Ah――" I spring up. My whole body is burning and my left hand feels like it's on fire.

"Wha――? That sword is my…!?" Saber's voice is filled with blank amazement. She is staring at what I'm holding, which should not exist here.

"Ah――" Does the sword have a will of its own? "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH――!" The golden sword does not stop and, as if pulled toward it, slashes through the giant's arm.

Tohsaka falls with the arm that was grabbing her, and the sword that cut through his arm shatters like glass.

All the blood in me regurgitates. But there's no problem there. The sword broke. That is impossible. If I imitated that sword, it cannot be broken. It broke because it was not sufficient. My image of it fell short of the real sword.

"□□□□□□□□□□□□" His eyes stare at me. The giant sword is swung to really kill me this time.

――I don't care about that. He's not my opponent. For Emiya Shirou, there is only one opponent. The sword just now wasn't perfect. The unbreakable sword broke because there was a flaw in the assumptions. If I am to duplicate it, I cannot only duplicate its shape… I must also reproduce the maker――!

"――" I hear a gasp. In front of me is the axe-sword swung like a storm and a defending sword that is being made. I don't know if I'm desperate, but I'm blocking the attack with the sword in my hand. ――But that's none of my business. What I need to do now is make this real.

―――That is a mistake as well. Emiya Shirou is not made for fighting. Your fight is a mental fight, a fight with yourself.

I know that without being told. What I must do is simple. "――Projection, start."

I concentrate. I am challenging myself. No deviation or compromise is allowed.

"Gi――kuu, uh, aaaa, a――" Judging the concept of creation, hypothesizing the basic structure, duplicating the composition material, imitating the skill of its making, sympathizing with the experience of its growth, reproducing the accumulated years, excelling every manufacturing process―― "Kuh――ah, ahhhhhhhhhhhh…!!!!" Now, I bind the illusion and make it a sword――!

"□□□□□□□□□□□□――!" The giant howls. The sword blocks the numerous blows smashing madly…!

"…!" But this is it. I'm tossed away. As soon as my consciousness returns, the sword must have left everything in my hands. I am easily thrown away by the attacks I was easily blocking until now.

"Ha――ah" The senses in my arms are already gone. My wrist is about to rip off as I can see the red meat.

"――Kuh…!" My legs won't move. All my muscles must have stopped working. ――I can't stand up. I made the sword that surpasses Berserker. But that's all. As I am only a maker, I cannot handle the sword――!

A shadow engulfs me. He must know who he needs to kill first now. Berserker pursues me like wind, and… Swings his sword.

But his sword is deflected. "Eh――?" As I stand there in blank amazement, I notice another hand over my hand.

"□□□□□□□□□□□□――!!!!" The air shakes violently. The giant launches an attack with all his might to destroy everything. But just before that… "Shirou, your hand――!" I hear her voice closer than anything.

If Berserker attacked me like a gust, Saber must have rushed to me like a gale. Having rushed to me, Saber turns around and――

The sword of rock breaks. A flash of the golden sword smashes the giant's axe-sword, slashes into the hard body, and――

…If the shape is similar, the ability must be similar as well. The golden sword digging deep into Berserker engulfs the giant's body from the inside.

――But that's only for an instant. The light disappears and silence returns to the forest. "Ha――ah." Strength departs from my body. The body that was so hot starts to cool down. The sword is disappearing from the tip.

"―――――" I watch it absent-mindedly. We stand next to each other, holding the same sword until it disappears completely.

――Wind blows through the forest clearing.

Neither the howling that shook the ground nor the blows that cut the air remain now. "So that is your sword, Saber." The undefeatable giant becomes motionless and says so in a deep voice, gazing at the knight that defeated him.

"This is Caliburn… the sword from the stone of selection. My sword that was forever lost. But――" "That was not your sword. That was only an illusion made by this man." Saber nods quietly.

"It was an imitation after all. It is a sword that will never exist again. But still――" Berserker's chest splits open. Slowly. From the wound made by that light, he crumbles away like sand.

"――That illusion cannot be underestimated. I did not expect it to destroy my body seven-fold with a single blow." He puts no emotion into his dying words. The mad warrior follows his role until the very end, and his existence disperses as if fading into the air.

I feel dizzy. It must be the cost of using such excessive magic. My blood that ran wild is crushing my brain with too much oxygen. …And on top of that, I have a headache like my head is splitting open. It's because the enemy has disappeared and the thing numbing my pain has disappeared. The dizziness and the headache come at me as if to make up for what has accumulated.

"――!" "Shirou…!?" Saber supports my collapsing body. But she can't have any energy to spare to care for me.

"…No, I'm fine. My bones are broken here and there, but it's not fatal. That healing thing is working, so it'll be fine." "――What are you saying? You used projection magic of that level, so you must rest right now." "…No, but…" There's someone I have to talk to first.

"……" "Ilyasviel…!" Saber prepares herself. Ilya is staring at the place where Berserker used to be with empty eyes.

"…Good. I do not know your intentions, but we would not wish the trouble of chasing you. Accept your――"

"…! No, Saber――don't hurt Ilya. Since Berserker's gone, she's…" I stop Saber with my remaining strength.

She must not realize we're here. Staring at the ground, Ilya murmurs, "…No way. Did you die, Berserker…?" She sounds like an abandoned child.

"…Ilya." I restrain Saber with my hand and quietly call out to her. She must have noticed me from that. Ilya slightly raises her head and… "Ah―――n, ahh…!" Suddenly. Falls to the ground like a doll being switched off.

"Wha――?" I don't know what's going on. I just stare at the girl on the ground. "…Gah, gohu…!" As if to replace her, Tohsaka gets up. Berserker's hand has disappeared and it seems she's finally free.

"―――――" I must have relaxed seeing Tohsaka's safety. I feel like I'm about to faint.

But I can't whine like that. Even though we defeated Berserker, we're still in the forest. We have to push our wounded bodies and get out of this forest now.

…I look up at the dawning sky. The town is far away, and I cannot find any uninjured allies nor any place on my own body that's not hurt. But still, we made it to the morning. ――The night I was prepared not to live through. After driving off the greatest enemy, we leave the winter forest.

The sky is thin. Is it dawn or dusk? As I am watching from outside, I cannot tell.

A vast sky and a high field. A sky that seems unreachable even with arms outstretched, And clouds that do seem reachable with arms outstretched. This is a battle she once went through.

There are no cavalry alongside. The grassland, once golden as far as the eye could see, is gone. Under the dark gray sky, the only thing stretching out is…

The remains of battle, which she is well-accustomed to.

There is no emotion. For her, such scenes must have been ordinary. There is nothing left in her lonely heart. Leaning on her golden sword, she breathes deeply once and slowly relaxes her shoulders.

The battle must be over. After glancing at the bodies of the defeated soldiers, she returns to her camp. That was the battle she experienced. The calm attitude is the same as now. No matter what trouble she's in, she is just as I know her.

――And in that way, I see the dream of a king.

From the moment she drew the sword from the stone, she was not human. After becoming a feudal lord like her father, she became a king with many knights. She was called King Arthur, or Arturia, and the girl who had tried to become a knight had her life turned around.

She acted as the son of the king. That is because the one to govern many territories and control the knights had to be male. The only ones who knew that the king was just a girl were her father and the magus. She literally covered herself in steel and sealed that truth for all her life.

Of course, it's not like no one grew suspicious of her. But the king of knights with the holy sword will not suffer wounds or age. Excalibur bears the protection of the fairies, making its possessor immortal. Therefore, nobody questioned the knight's small body, and the face that seemed like that of a girl became honored by the knights as a good-looking king.

――Of course, such things were not a problem. The king was truly invincible. There was no room for body size nor looks to enter into it. The people living in fear of savage invasions wanted a strong king, and the knights of the battlefield would only follow an excellent commander.

The king met all of these criteria. And so――no one questioned who the king was. It doesn't matter if the king is a child or a woman. The only point is that it must function as the "king" to protect the country.

The new king was fair and selfless, and always stood in front of the army, defeating enemies on the battlefield. Many enemies and many people died, but the king's choices were always correct and she served as the "king" better than anyone else. There was no doubt and no need for doubt while the king was right.

Knowing no loss on the battlefield. Her army reconstructed the now lost cavalry, and literally ran through the battlefield defeating foreign infantries and crashing through numerous ramparts.

Was she always in the front of the army because her country was behind her?

She had to discard many people to join battle.

As long as she joined battle, she had to defeat all her enemies.

It was normal practice to meet military needs by sucking everything out of the local village for the battle to protect the country.

In that regard, there could not be any knights that killed more people than her.

I do not know if she ever found that a burden. That is not something I can tell from a dream. But there is no doubt in her figure, running through the battlefield. She does not even narrow her eyes in grief when she sits on the throne.

A king is not human. One cannot protect the people with human emotions.

She kept that oath strictly. She settled every problem and worked hard in government affairs. She balanced the country without any deviations and punished people without a single mistake.

And after ending yet another battle in victory, commanding the people without disorder, and punishing hundreds of criminals… "King Arthur does not understand human feelings." A knight close to her murmured.

Perhaps everyone felt that way. The more perfect she became as the king, the more they questioned her as a ruler. A person without human emotion cannot rule over others. Several reputable knights left Camelot, but the king took it as a natural event and accepted it as part of the process of government.

Thus, the fair king honored by her knights isolated herself.

But such trivial things are of no concern to a king. Her mind will not change even if she is abandoned, feared, or betrayed. There's no right or wrong. She abandoned her emotions from the moment she decided to pull out the sword.

――And in that way, her final battle began.

The battle at Badon Hill ended in a complete victory, and because of the overwhelming results, the savages sought a reconciliation. The country that would have just awaited destruction earned a brief period of peace. The chaos that demanded an absolute hero has ended. Britain is finally returning to the country she has dreamed of.

…The scene starts to fade away. Somewhere in my head, I realize that I'm waking up and the dream is ending. I will lose consciousness and wake up soon.

But before that, something really annoys me. …She's stupid. Certainly, she must have been strong and good at fighting. But that doesn't mean she's well-suited for it.

I'm also angry at the people around her. If she didn't notice it, someone else around her had to tell her, or she'd keep making the same mistake forever. …Geez. She had so many people around her, so why did none of them tell her the truth――?

"―――――" I wake up. ――We escaped Ilya's forest and came back to this house yesterday afternoon. Tohsaka went back to her room saying that the wound in her stomach was hurting, and I also wanted to go to sleep since my headache was still around.

It must also have been because I carried something heavy all the way here. When I got to my room and lay down, I couldn't even get back up. Saber was the only one unhurt, so Tohsaka and I went to sleep letting her keep watch over the house, and――

"…I've slept half the day, huh? …Hmm. At least it seems my headache is gone now. I'm relieved. The thing with Berserker. The headache that started when I duplicated Saber's sword was terrible. If that headache continued, my head would have broken before my body did.

――Wait. "Huh――?" Saber is sitting Japanese-style beside my futon.

"… Sa… ber…? Why the sad face? Did something happen while I was asleep?" "…No. I just had a dream." "…?"

"…No, it is nothing important. Let us eat breakfast, Shirou. It is almost time to get up." Saber gets up and leaves the room quietly.

"…?" I don't know why Saber's acting so weird. I don't know, but――

"…I guess she was nursing me since she was sitting by my futon――" As soon as I think so, I recall the scene I really shouldn't remember.

"…! No, what am I thinking…! Don't think about it…!" I shake my head and clear the thoughts out of my head. …Um, I did it with Saber because I'm her Master. I have to think like that or I won't be able to look at her properly.

"…And the situation was that bad… and Tohsaka did it too…" …! Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on…! This won't end if I start being conscious of Tohsaka too…!

"――Stay calm, stay calm. We were acting normal on our way home yesterday. That should be fine."

Well, no, I was just too tired yesterday, but stay calm anyways. …First of all, Saber will be troubled if I act like this.

"――All right. I have to calm down and go make breakfast." I take a deep breath and start changing. It's nine in the morning. Saber must be really hungry as we haven't eaten since yesterday afternoon.

I guess you can't call it morning now that it's past nine. Considering Saber, I'll make a fairly large meal.

"Shirou. We are the only ones this morning. Should we not wake Rin up?"

"No, they should sleep, right? It was a hard day yesterday, so there's no need to wake them up. They can eat whenever they want to if we leave their meals out."

"I see. Then it will be helpful if you can start preparing soon. It is already late." "I know. I feel well, so let's go to the dojo after the meal."

"What…? Go to the dojo? Are you still going to continue your training…!?" "Why not? It's a daily routine, right?"

"What's wrong, Saber? Did I say something strange?" "Um, no… um, I selfishly thought that you were done with your training. I thought there was no reason for you to be so desperate now that Berserker is defeated…"

"――I see. When you put it like that, you may be right." Tohsaka, and Saber, and I… our common enemy is now gone. We cooperated because we were targeted by an enemy superior to us, and that's why I trained as well.

"But we'll continue our training. I'm still inexperienced and you're honest when you hold your sword. That's a big help for me when I talk to you." Well, when I say it's a help, I mean it's fun.

"…Um? I am honest in the dojo?"

"You are. At least, you're not hesitant. That's better for me, and I think it's relaxing for you as well. Anyways, fighting with you is my daily routine. Don't take away the few pleasures I have."

I take ground beef and pork, mushroom, onion, and eggs out of the refrigerator and head to the kitchen. I'll also need breadcrumbs, alcohol, salad oil, and….

"…Hmm. In that case, I have no objections." "…?" Saber murmurs something in the living room. I'm already in the kitchen, so I unfortunately couldn't hear her.

I start mixing. I mix onion, breadcrumbs, alcohol, egg, and salt, and put it in with the beef and pork. I've decided to cook Japanese-style hamburger for breakfast.

"Rin? Have you awoken?" I can hear Saber's voice from the living room. "Tohsaka?" I turn around while cooking.

"…Morning. Sorry, let me have some milk, Shirou." Tohsaka comes over with an unhappy face and takes some milk out of the refrigerator.

"Gah, my head hurts from sleeping too much… Hey, you sure are putting a lot of effort into breakfast." Where did that bad mood from earlier go? Tohsaka Rin's eyes gleam as soon as she turns to me.

"Wow, that looks good. I'm hungry so that's really helpful." I see. But you're the one that benefits, not me. This must be what my father said… for someone to benefit, someone must lose.

"…I've thought so for a while, but you're pretty sharp." "Oh, I'm only normally witted. So prepare some for me too."

Waving her hand, Tohsaka returns to the living room. With a glass of milk in one hand, she takes position at the table. …No. Should I say she's really relaxing or acting like royalty?

"You are acting quite lazily, Rin." All right, way to go Saber. She sure is good at saying difficult things. But… Tohsaka waves off Saber's criticism lazily like she doesn't care.

"Of course I'm getting lazy. Now that Berserker is gone, all that's left are Caster, Lancer, and Assassin, right? They aren't much compared to Berserker, and they can easily be fought off in Saber's present condition."

"――I do not know. Lancer's Master is still a mystery, and Assassin is not an enemy that can be defeated by ordinary methods. And we have not even met Caster yet."

"Don't be modest. A normal hero is an easy opponent for King Arthur, right? You were grieving because you didn't have enough magical energy, but that's solved now. There's no Servant now that can match you, Saber." "――"

Saber narrows her eyes at Tohsaka's words. …I feel the same way. The thing Tohsaka just said can't be ignored lightly.

"――Tohsaka. You knew who Saber was?"

"Vaguely. I only confirmed it yesterday. There's only one hero who can use such a holy sword. …Well, I was surprised that the legendary King Arthur is a girl, but if the real thing is in front of me, all I can do is believe it."

"And legends usually are conveniently altered, right? I don't know if Saber hid it or the people around her hid it, but it certainly wasn't convenient for a girl to be a king in the medieval times. Of course they'd treat her as a man."

Tohsaka has the same tone of voice as always. Saber doesn't seem to care that much either. She rather seems to be agreeing with Tohsaka's opinion and shows no sign of denying anything.

"……" So she has clearly admitted that it's true. A hero related to swords is chosen for the Servant Saber. From that perspective, she is certainly the best Saber there could be.

The great hero of England. The bearer of the holy sword that everybody even in this distant country has heard of.

…But if that's the case, then what? The end of the legend of King Arthur ends with the king's death. No, they are still human even though they are heroes. It's only natural for their last moment to end in death, but no hero dies normally. King Arthur was no exception.

I remember that the end of King Arthur was in a war. The great battle of Camlann. Having unified Britain and with no outside enemies to defeat, King Arthur faced an unexpected "enemy" in the end.

The enemy was her own army that she protected. Because of a betrayal by the ones she trusted, King Arthur was attacked by the knights she had fought with, and it is said that the king had to defeat them.

King Arthur succeeded in defeating the enemy leader, but took a fatal wound in the process and entrusted her only surviving knight, Sir Bedivere, with the return of the holy sword. "Go past this bloody battlefield and the hill. There should be a lake there. Throw this sword into that lake."

But Bedivere could not follow the order. Fearing the loss of the sword, Bedivere gave a false report the first and the second time, saying that he had thrown the sword into the lake.

Every time, King Arthur would order Bedivere to throw the sword away, and the order was followed on the third trip. And it is said that King Arthur died after ascertaining that the holy sword had been returned.

"But anyway, what are you going to do now, Shirou?" ――And then. Tohsaka suddenly glares at me.

"Um… about――what now?" "About that dangerous child, who's asleep right now. You're the one who brought her here, even though I told you to leave her behind."

"I would like to comment on that as well. Even though she has lost Berserker, Ilyasviel is a dangerous Master. It is not a wise decision to protect her now." "Yeah. You can just leave her in Kirei's care."

"Ugh――" The two judge this a good time and glare at me together. …That's right. Ilya fainted after Berserker disappeared. I couldn't just leave her be since she showed no sign of waking up, so I brought her here.

Tohsaka and Saber objected, so I was the one who carried her. A Master who loses their Servant has to run away or go to the church for protection before they're killed by other Masters. Tohsaka says we should let Kotomine take care of her, but I'm letting her sleep in a room here since I don't think he would take very good care of her――

"Shirou. Your thoughts are honorable, but it is dangerous to associate yourself with Ilyasviel. You still have time. You must let the church take care of her or remove her Command Spell."

Saber glares at me. …Hm. She's serious. Convincing her will be really difficult.

"W-What? We couldn't just leave her. Ilya is still a child, and she was acting strangely too. And I'd feel sorry just leaving her in Kotomine's care."

"Feel sorry? How can you say that after what she did to us!?" "I agree. You feel too much empathy for Ilyasviel. She tried to kill you many times."

The two are even more united now. But I can't let them talk me out of it.

"Ilya was certainly our enemy, but she didn't have any malice. Ilya won't do that sort of thing again if there's someone there to tell her what's right. And I think I said this at the beginning. I'm not fighting to kill other Masters. I'm just fighting to end this war."

"I――know that, but…" Saber doesn't agree, but her voice softens.

But.

"I see. Then you're saying you'll forgive everything Ilyasviel did? I'm sure you know she has attacked other Masters as well. She might have killed several Masters already. You're saying you'll save her in spite of that?"

"――Tha… t's…" …That's right. Ilya admitted it. She killed Shinji.

Shinji used Rider to try to kill the students at school. If those were his intentions as a Master, I guess his death couldn't be helped. …But still, Shinji is a friend I've known for years and thinking about his sister, Sakura, I can't forgive everything Ilya did.

"――But then, there would be no end to it. If Ilya isn't a Master and if she can regret what she did, I think we should save her."

"…Yeah, that's right. But Shirou, I have no intention of forgiving her for Archer. She killed my Archer."

…Everybody freezes. We freeze, looking at each other. And,

"Come on, Servants disappear in the end anyway. You're a failure as a Master if you worry about that sort of a thing." The girl under discussion, who should be asleep, appears.

"――Ilyasviel…!"

"Hold on, I have no business with you two. I don't intend to fight, so can you two stop being angry? …Really, I'm embarrassed as a lady. You're much older than me, but you two have no modesty."

Ilya shrugs her shoulders as if to show her shock. "W-What…!?" Saber and Tohsaka get mad together. They are scarier in a different sense.

"Well, I won't get angry about that either. This is no time to worry about you two." Saying that, Ilya turns to me. …Is this an illusion? Ilya pinches the end of her skirt in a polite manner and bows to me respectfully.

"Uh――Ilya?" "I thank you, Master of Saber. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your concern towards me, who was your enemy."

"Ah――uh?" I stare at Ilya in surprise. Saber is silent as well, so she might not have expected it either. Tohsaka is drinking milk and looking at Ilya suspiciously.

――And then. Ilya gives her usual smile and… "Just kidding. Yeah, Shirou is my Onii-chan!" She comes straight for me and hugs my neck.

"Gofu…!?" I choke at the surprise attack. "W-WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?" Tohsaka is choking on the milk she's drinking. "――――――――!" Saber gets mad, but keeps a straight face.

"G-Get away, you impudent…!" Saber runs to me. But Ilya spins around behind me, using my neck as a fulcrum.

"Heh, who's the impudent one? A Servant is a hundred years too early to give me her opinion." "I have no obligation nor desire to obey you…! If you have time to talk back, get away from Shirou right away…!"

"I'm not listening to you. Hey Shirou, let's do the thing we did yesterday. It's called a piggy-back ride, right!?" Ilya twirls and twirls. Saber goes around to try to catch her.

"―――――" This is bad. This is really bad.

The two's staredown doesn't end. …It must be because she's watching from a distance. Tohsaka wipes the milk off her mouth as if nothing is happening and says in a disinterested manner,

"It's of no concern to me, but he'll die if you keep that up." "Huh…?" The two look at my face in surprise.

Yes. My neck is being choked and my life's in danger. I'm in a real pinch right now――

Well, let's check the current situation. The hamburger I was making is in the refrigerator right now.

First, Tohsaka is the quiet one. It seems she's keeping a poker face and trying to see how things turn out, but who knows what she's thinking on the inside.

"Hm? What, Shirou?" Ilya is sitting next to me, and she's in a good mood for some reason. She's looking around the living room curiously, but it seems like Tohsaka and Saber are none of her concern. She probably wouldn't listen even if they talked to her.

And the hardest one to deal with is… "―――――" Saber, who is glaring restlessly at me and Ilya.

Being restless and uneasy is totally unlike her. Because of her, I feel like I'm sitting on a cushion full of needles. …So I can't let things stay like this. I don't know what will come out of this, but I have to make up my mind and escape the current situation.

"――Let's decide. Morning will end if we keep on like this."

"Yeah. The conclusion is decided, and the problem needs to be taken care of quickly. Isn't that right, Saber?" "Yes. My opinion and Rin's are the same, so all we need to do is make Shirou agree…"

Saber is ready to fight it out to the very end. …Well, I guess it can't be helped since Ilya was the most difficult enemy for Saber.

"…? Hey Shirou. What do Rin and Saber want to talk about?" Ilya asks me innocently.

"Uh… well. Um, about what to do with you. You lost your Servant, right? So we're wondering what you're going to do now."

"It's already decided. We have the church protect her or kick her back to her castle. Either way, she doesn't have the option of staying here."

"…Do you think so too, Shirou?" Ilya looks up at me with emotionless eyes. I――

#votestaynight #fate #fate stay/night #fate route

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