#bobby when he lost his family in the apartment fire

[0mg-bird]

Cake Batter ~B Floyd x Fem! Reader

Summary: How Bob comes home to an expected mess, both of his girlfriend and the dinner.

Warnings: Just fluff and some language.

You practically danced around the kitchen, making sure all the different things you had going were turning out the way you planned. You had sent Bob off to work after a morning of rolling around in bed, apologizing that he had to spend his birthday with fighter pilots and not you in lingerie. Then, you had showered and gotten dressed and rushed off to the store. You were determined to make his favorite meal, all from scratch, so you searched the store for every ingredient needed. You never claimed to be a chef, but you were going to try your hardest to make the best dish possible for the man you’ve been in love with for six years.

Music played in the background as you danced around the kitchen, mixing things in this bowl, seasoning vegetables in that one. You truly believed there was a method to your madness.

Then, slowly, it started falling apart.

Your cornbread burns in the oven, the roast you started early somehow still isn’t tender, you forgot to add the carrots in to simmer with the broth and you start questioning if the lettuce for a side salad is rotten or not.

Panic starts to set in when the clock inches closer to the time Bob said he’d be home. You turn the heat up in the slow cooker, then try and focus on making his birthday cake instead.

While pulling another mixing bowl down, you get lost in thought. Hands wiping at your apron, you huff at the remembrance of your families doubt. They make countless jokes about all the faults you’ve been through over the years. Bleaching your laundry, locking keys in the car, forgetting to pay the water bill, and most of all, soiling every meal in some way.

It’s like you’re a bad omen when it comes to every task an adult should complete successfully.

Your father once said the real reason Bobby didn’t pop the question was because he was scared of having a wife who’d accidentally poison him.

You shake yourself free from that absurd claim, then go back to your measurements.

How much flour did you put in already? Was that too much sugar?

You shrug, humming to yourself as you turn to the fridge and retrieve some eggs.

Cracking them open, you drop half the shells in the batter, making you curse and fish them out with a spoon. Whisking away, you don’t see the initial spark of the outlet where the slow cooker is plugged into, but when you smell something odd, you see the flame coming from the wall.

You gasp and shout, hastily setting the mixing bowl down, it teeters on the edge of the counter.

You grab a towel, trying to throw it over the fire, this is when you really begin to panic. The flame burns your hand, making you cry out but continue to smother it until it extinguishes. Tears well in your eyes from the pain, but when you hear the crash of the bowl and turn to see the cake batter splatter everywhere on the floor, you cry with defeat.

What do you do now?

You’ve ruined it all.

You immediately grab a wet rag and sink to the mess, trying to wipe it up. Your hair falls in your face, tears fall fiercely.

As far as your dearest Bobby goes, he pulls into the driveway, relieved he is finally home. His key turns in the door, and he expects you to be reading on the couch, maybe watching a movie. He pictures you greeting him with a kiss, telling him about dinner reservations you made maybe. What he doesn’t envision is the scene unfolding as he comes into his small house.

“Honey?” He calls, clicking off the stereo. Immediately he hears the sound of your cries. Panic floods him.

He follows the sound into the kitchen, a brisk pace about him. There, he finds you on the floor, wiping up a mess, covered in cake batter, face red, loose hair falling against your damp cheeks.

“What happened?” He asks, and your eyes lift to him with pure sadness. You speak but your words are sobbing and broken. “I-I was making dinner and then the-the cornbread burned because I left it in too long while chopping vegetables and I forgot the carrots and I put too much flour in the cake and then the kitchen caught on fire-”

“Fire?” He panics, looking around, sure enough there’s a large scorch mark on the wall where the outlet is.

“Mhm.” You nod, getting to your feet. “And I didn’t know what to do- why don’t we have a fire extinguisher? And then the batter fell and made a mess and I was trying to clean it up before you came home and saw but I wasn’t fast enough and now it’s all ruined!”

He comes forward, not caring that he’s stepping in the residue of batter. He holds your shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay, just breathe.” He shushes, but you can’t even look at him.

“I ruined it, it’s not okay! I-I had a plan, I was determined but I fucked it up.”

His arms are wrapping around you, his hand on the back of your head, he’s whispering to you to calm down, that everything’s okay.

“I’m sorry, Bobby.” You cry into his shoulder.

“It was an accident, I’m not mad at you.” He says, pulling you back. He holds your face between his hands, his thumbs wiping away the tears that come. “Just breathe, you didn’t ruin nothing, okay?”

You shut your eyes, nodding. Your hands go to hold his wrists, but you wince at the pain. His eyes widen. “What is it, sweetheart?”

“I burned myself.” You sniffle, lifting your hand to show him.

Bob pulls you to the sink, holding your wound under cold water to give you some relief. “It’s just been a rough day, huh?” He asks, not in a mocking tone. He’s so utterly genuine, you want to cry all over again because he’s too perfect for you.

“I wanted you to feel special, I was going to master your favorite meal and it was going to be great.” You say, feeling defeated.

“I believe you, and I bet it was gonna be great, baby.” He says, grabbing a towel and wrapping your hand.

As he guides you away, lifting you to sit on the counter top, he kisses your fingers before going to grab the first aid kit.

You feel dumb, it was his birthday and yet he was talking care of you.

He gently rubs some Vaseline over the burn, then wraps it with a bandage. “See? All better, and the world didn’t end.” He smiles at you.

You shake your head. “I’d make a terrible wife.” You say, looking down at your feet.

Bob’s brows furrow, not liking the way you talk about yourself. “Hey…” He says, rubbing your knee. “Who says that, huh?”

“Me. My family.” You admit, wiping your face.

“Well, that’s a silly thing to say, isn’t it?” He asks, coming to stand between your legs. His finger lifts your jaw, forcing your head up to look at him. “One bad meal doesn’t matter.”

“I am a terrible cook, I over season, I burn, I make a mess. I can’t even cook a frozen pizza.” You say, and he pauses.

He can’t deny it, but he won’t say that.

“You’ll get better with time. Besides, I can cook so it’s fine.” He pushes your hair back, smiling.

“I’m cursed, Bobby, that’s why you don’t want to marry me.” You huff, looking into his big blue eyes that squint a little at your accusation. “I never said I didn’t wanna marry ‘yuh.” He says.

“But-”

“But nothin’. I’d marry you tomorrow if it was up to me, honey, but I want to make sure we are settled in every aspect before I make you my wife. It has nothing to do with whatever curse you think you have. You ain’t got no curse, you’re perfect.” He means every word, cradling your head with his gentle hand.

Slowly, you nod. “I’m sorry your birthday wasn’t better.”

He pulls you from the counter. “I came home to you, my birthday was great.”

His sideways smile makes the corners of your lips lift, and suddenly you’re leaning into him, kissing him deeply. Bob grips your hips, holding you to him as he groans at the fever of your mouth.

After a moment, he pulls back. “Let’s clean up and then we’ll go out to eat, okay?”

You nod, kissing his cheek. “Okay.”

All this mess over some cake batter.

[icequeenlila]

Good Luck, Babe!- Maxley fic

context: the three up there lost their shared dorm, Max has to move in with a new roommate and he doesn't know who it will be.

“You know, my bed will always be yours if you need a place to crash, Maximilian”, Bobby said, dramatically throwing an arm around Max’ neck.

“I take your word for it”, Max said with a chuckle in his voice.

What did he care for a new roommate? If the guy was too annoying, he’d just come here and bother his friends.

By then it had gotten a bit late. The sun was already saying goodbye as they climbed back into the van.

“Maybe you’re lucky and they moved you in with a hot chick”, Bobby said as he started the engine.

Max and PJ shared a look through the van’s rear-view mirror, and Max nudged their stoner friend against the head. “Sure, Bobby. If that’s the case I’ll get you, her number.”

“Deeeeal.”

They all laughed as the van rolled onto the street.

The dorm was big. It was fucking huge. And nice. There was so much to look at that all three of them were too occupied dislocating their necks to comment on any of it yet.

PJ had been right, there was a kitchen. Whole ass kitchen directly connected to the open living room they were standing in right now. There was a couch that could easily fit a whole family and a huge - huge! - TV. Also a round, little table by the window. The window also was bigger than your usual window, as seemed to be everything in here.

“Fancyyyy.” Bobby was the first to get back a grip. “From now on I’m gonna call you Max-a-million.”

“This has to be a mistake”, Max said, completely ignoring him, his voice a breathy whisper. “There’s no way they’re letting me stay here for this little rent.”

“Well.” PJ set down the box he’d been carrying. “It’s the only dorm available at the moment and since the university couldn’t determine the source of the fire it’s lawfully their fault, so they have to provide you with an accommodation no matter the costs.”

Max looked over at him, eyes still wide in disbelieve. PJ only shrugged his shoulders. “I think you’ll manage.”

“Look at this beauty!” Bobby abandoned the stuff he’d been carrying and hurried over towards the big flat screen. “Which of these boxes has your PlayStation, Max?”

But Max ignored him again, instead letting his gaze wander over the space. Now, after the initial shock, he noticed empty moving boxes by the door.

“Huh.”

So, he wasn’t the only one moving in today. But who was his new roomma-

“Could you be any louder out here?”

Max’ eyes went wide.

No way.

He spun around on his heels towards the familiar voice. And really …

“You’re kidding”, Bradley said.

“No way”, Max said simultaneously.

There, standing in the doorframe of one of the two separate bedrooms, stood his recently discovered boy crush, and he was staring at Max like he was ready to jump out of a window.

“You know what? You can keep the number.” Bobby wasn’t helping as usual.

Bradley frowned. “Is he high?”

“Always”, PJ answered in a very casual tone.

“You’re my roommate?”, Max asked when he finally found the mind to speak again.

“I doubt it”, Bradley sneered, crossing his arms over his chest. “Did you take a wrong turn or something?”

Max cocked his head, a teasing smile on his lips.

“Sure”, he said, holding up his keys to the apartment. “And I found this in the trash, actually.”

Bradley glared at him. “How?”

So, Max told him how they had lost their former dorm. He left out the important details of course.

+

(from chapter 2)

'Good Luck, Babe!' on ao3

[whumper-at-heart]

Just thought something.

Bobby Nash and fatherhood.

His dad was an alcoholic , abusive person who ruined their family and Bobby's childhood . He grew up to be an alcoholic himself and continued the cycle of abuse , getting his children killed in a fire which he thinks is his fault .

He runs away from his past , the ghost of his family , but fatherhood doesn't stop following him.

He finds out his blood saves millions of new born kids , and while he tears himself apart inside about it , because "those are the wrong kids ! I want my kids !" , but then chimney reminds him "do they not feel like your kids anymore? It's your blood that's running in their veins" , and that's literally. Even if bobby nash thinks "he's nobody's father" , his blood is literally running in the veins of thousands , maybe millions of little kids , making them his In sort of ways . Like chimney says , he failed to save his biological kids , but instead the universe gave him the gift (curse , as he thinks ) of being able to save thousands of others instead.

The 118 comes into his life . The once hostile to him firehouse slowly becomes his , and the firefighters take a place in his heart , even though "he didn't want anyone to get that close to him" .

All this young people start looking up at him , and then there is this new kid called buck who comes into his heart .

"they went to a Springsteen concert and buck called him 'pops'" and suddenly bobby nash realised that he found himself a family on his way , As hard as he had tried not to.

Though no one voices it , because they all had daddy issues themselves and possibly didn't want to get hurt , but bobby became the team dad over the years. He cooked for them , provided a shoulder for them to cry on , it was he who they went to for advices, bobby was the person the 118 looked up to .

And bobby realised that as much as he was scared to mess it up , he had kids to look after again .

He met Athena , who had children of her own , who became his stepchildren as they married . A boy and a girl , just like the ones he had lost before. He and Harry wasn't that close , given that Harry lived with David and Micheal , but slowly, may and bobby formed a bond just as close and any father and his daughter.

When bobby heard may was trapped in a burning building , it was like history repeating itself , and bobby was determined to change the ending no matter the cost. He saved may , got a bit of his redemption.

And his paternal love kept growing over the years. Some people are just natural dads , and bobby nash is one of them . The 118 truly starts to feel like his kids again, which is why when one of them is in danger , Bobby's world crashes and burns. He doesn't let buck come back to the frontline, he gives him some slack , he doesn't let Eddie return either , because he won't let them get hurt again , even if they hate him for it .

And the feelings is not just from Bobby's side either . Its mutual . "Mom brought two kids into the marriage you brought one" , "he is the closest thing I have to a father" - all of them thinks bobby as their father , their gurdian .

Bobby Nash may have left fatherhood in the ashes of his old life back in Minnesota , but fatherhood didn't leave him .

Mr . Bobby 'im nobody's father' Nash was , and always will be a dad .

[artyandink]

we could be more | dean winchester | finale

Summary: Ivonne Rainer was practically a trained killing machine. Stripped to the bone then built back up by her father in order to become one of the best, like he was. She was forced into hunting when she was nineteen, having developed powers that couldn’t be explained. That is, until she was paid a visit by Azazel’s lackey. Her powers were gone, she needed help, and that’s when she found her father’s journal. Pointing to Sam and Dean Winchester.

SERIES MASTERLIST

ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE: PART TWO

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : DARKSIDE - NEONI 

“Mini-“ 

“I don’t want to hear it.” I whispered, staring out into the unknown from the front porch of the house we’d taken rest in. “I just don’t.”

Bobby sighed. “You can’t blame yourself for Sam.” 

“I can. I was there. I could’ve killed Jake seconds before it happened had I just let go for a second like I did with Ava. And now? Sam’s dead.”

”You’re deranged, mini. You’ve done the best you can and considering the circumstances, you did a damn good job of it.” 

“Everyone’s dead except that kid Jake who deserves to be ripped limb by limb.” I growled, standing up. “I know I’m gonna see him again. And when I do? Hell, I’m gonna kill him. And I’ll make sure he regrets living before he goes into the fire.” 

“Hey!” He frowned. “Don’t lose yourself in this.” 

“I lost myself in hell, Bobby, I’m long gone.” I seethed. “Every gash, the torture, the watching others being tortured- it eats away at you. Tears you a new one. A worse one, and I loathe how I turned out. I can’t look at my family the same after learning what kind of a man I was born from. What my sister became- heck, what my brother could’ve been. It’s pure pain. Sam was… an out. An amazing, kind, caring out. A way to think about what relationship I could have had with my siblings if they were alive. Now Sam’s dead. I’ve lost that too. That means I’ve lost my fight.” 

“I know you must be feeling helpless.” Bobby appeased, giving me a sympathetic look. “Feel it, feel it all if you can’t help it, but Dean in there? He needs you more than ever.” He started to walk off, but I held his shoulder. 

“Where’re you going?” 

“Dean doesn’t need me anymore. He told me to leave, but you know where I’ll be.” 

“C’mere.” I hugged him tightly, and he allowed me to, thumping my back. 

“You’re a strong kid, mini. It’s not your fault your dad was a coward.” 

“It never will be.” I smiled, then watch him leave. I walked into the house, finding Dean at Sam’s bed. 

“Don’t tell me to bury him.” Dean snapped, his voice breaking. “Don’t tell me to torch him either.”

“I won’t.” I shrugged, sitting down beside him. 

“Then? It was bad enough losing you at first, now Sammy? What are they gonna do, gank Bobby next?” 

“The kid won’t, but Yellow Eyes might.” 

“What d’you mean?” 

“He came to me.” I muttered. “Told me that this was a survival of the fittest deal. Then he said I wasn’t in it.” 

“Son of a… why weren’t you?” 

“He said that I’d rip each and every one of them apart if I wanted to. And god, I wish I’d ripped Jake limb from limb if I’d gotten the chance.” 

“Is that really Ivy talking?” He stood up, and so did I, holding my head. 

“It’s 100% me, Dean. I, cold blooded, shot Ava. I didn’t care about Lily and I was about to deliver a finishing blow to Jake with a metal pole but somehow I decided against it. Hell changed me. I don’t know what happened in there, but it changed me. Sam’s dead, I know, and all that’s replaying in my head is how Carter died and how I could’ve stopped that too but I was too damn weak to, and now Sam took a blow because of pure fate. Don’t let all this change you. Don’t do anything stupid, Dean, please just don’t.” 

“I won’t.” He agreed, and then he hugged me, detaching and leaning his forehead on mine, cupping my cheeks. “I won’t.” 

I walked in to find Dean prepping to go somewhere, and… Sam. 

Sam.

Alive. 

“Where we going, boys?” I asked, giving Dean a look. I know what you’ve done. 

“Bobby’s.” Sam smiled. 

“It’s great to have you up and about, Sam.” 

“Great to be up and about.” 

“To the Impala, then.” We went to the car, getting in and driving down to Bobby’s in silence. We went to the door, and Bobby opened it, his eyes widening a bit when he saw Sam. 

“Hey, Bobby.” Sam grinned.

“Sam. It's good to... see you up and around.” 

“Yeah ... thanks for patching me up.” 

“Don’t mention it.” Bobby then turned to me, patting me on the shoulder. “James knows you’re alive, but…” 

“I know.” I nodded. 

“Do what you’ve gotta do.” I took out my phone, dialling James. He picked up immediately on the other line, and I sighed. 

‘Ivy?’ 

“Yeah, it’s me.” 

‘You’re alive. Bobby was right. I-I thought that you…’ 

“I’m alive, yeah. My dad made a deal with a demon to save me.” I then bit my lip. “But now I’m involved in something big. End of the world big, and you need to be safe.” Bobby handed me a map of omens, and I spotted Southern Wyoming as a safe place. “Get to Southern Wyoming. Hide, take as much salt, holy water, iron, the works, as you can. Just get to safety.”

I could hear a sigh on another line. ‘We can’t see each other anymore, can we?’ 

“No, we can’t. At least, not until all this is over, which will take a hell of a long time.” 

‘I get it. At least I’ll know that my ex-girlfriend helped stop an apocalypse.’ 

“Stew in that, Lieutenant.” 

‘Gladly.’ He chuckled. ‘I’ll miss you, Ivonne Rainer.’ 

“As will I, James Rhodes.” I smiled. “Bye.”

’Bye.’ I then turned to Bobby. 

“What am I looking at?” 

“Omens are popping up everywhere.” He grimaced. “Everywhere but Southern Wyoming. It’s like demons are surrounding it or something. I need you and Sam to find out why while I chat with Dean.” 

“You better, before I give him an early ticket.” I gritted my teeth, then nodded. “I’ll do it. Figure something out.” 

I was mapping things out when Ellen came in with Dean and Bobby, and I breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Ellen.” I grinned, hugging her, and she returned it, trembling. “I’m glad you’re ok.” 

“I’m glad you’re alive.” She retorted. “I’m sorry about Mick.”

”He was better off dead.” I huffed before pulling up a chair. Ellen sat down, and Bobby poured her a shot of holy water. 

“Bobby, is this really necessary?” 

“Just holy water.” Bobby shrugged. “Shouldn’t hurt.” 

She swallowed the water, giving Bobby a look. “Whiskey now, if you don't mind.” 

I passed her a shot of whiskey, and Dean sat down, leaning forward. “Ellen, what happened?” 

“I wasn't supposed to get out. I was supposed to be in there with everybody else. But we ran out of pretzels, of all things. It was just dumb luck.” She sipped the whiskey with a scoff. “Anyway, that's when Ash called. Panic in his voice. He told me to look in the safe. Then the call cut out. By the time I got back, the flames were sky-high. And everybody was dead. I couldn't have been gone more than fifteen minutes.” 

“I’m sorry, Ellen.” Sam grimaced. 

“A lot of good people died in there. And I got to live.” She scoffed again. “Lucky me.” 

“Ellen, you mentioned a safe.” Bobby frowned. 

“Secret safe in the basement.” 

“Demons get what’s in it?” 

“No.” She put down a map, which had Xs on it. I picked it up, studied it for a second and then took a book out of my satchel, turning the pages. 

“Friggin’ hell.” I muttered, drawing a line connecting the Xs. 

“What?” Dean asked. 

“Each of these X's is an abandoned frontier church— all mid-19th century. And all of them built by Samuel Colt.” 

“Samuel Colt? Demon killing, gun making Samuel Colt?” 

“Yep. And from church to church, he built underground, hidden railway tracks, connecting every dot until…” I grinned, “he made a 100 mile Devil’s Trap.” 

“Beanie, you genius.”

”I've never heard of anything that massive.” Ellen breathed. 

“No one has.” Bobby shrugged. 

“And after all these years none of the lines are broken?” Dean asked. “I mean, it still works?”

”Looks like it.” I nodded. “Demon omens are circling this place. They’re trying to get in, but can’t.” 

“Why’re they trying to get in?” Ellen frowned. 

“Bang in the middle of this place, there’s an old, abandoned cowboy cemetery.” I pointed to it on the map, then looked up grimly. “I don’t think Colt was trying to keep anything out. I think he was trying to keep something in.” 

“Well, that’s comforting.” 

“Could they get in?” Dean asked. 

“No.” I shook my head. “They’d need something as powerful as an A-bomb, H-bomb, heck, even the Tsar Bomba could work.” 

“The Tsar What-A?” 

“Nuclear bomb made by the Soviets. Still the most powerful nuclear weapon to exist. Only something roughly like that could rip this apart. Unless you make someone who’s not a demon cross the line.” 

Then it hit me. 

“Jake.”

“Howdy, Jake.” Sam seethed, all of us surrounding him as he approached the crypt. Jake looked stunned, and I knew why. 

“Wait... you were dead. I killed you.” He stammered, but Sam chuckled. 

“Yeah? Well next time, finish the job.” 

“I did! I cut clean through your spinal cord, man. You can’t be alive, you just can’t.” 

“Okay, just take it real easy there, son.” Bobby warned. 

“And if I don’t?” 

“Wait and see.” Sam smirked. 

“What, you a tough guy all of a sudden? What are you gonna do— kill me?” 

“It’s a thought.” 

“You had your chance. You couldn't.” 

“Alright, then.” Sam nodded tauntingly. “It isn’t my mojo. But it’s hers.” He inclined his head towards me, and Jake spun around, seeing my eyes glow blue. 

“You’re not gonna lift anything.” He smirked, then turned to Ellen. “Hey lady, do me a favour. Put that gun to your head.” Ellen shakily agreed, putting the gun to her head. “See, that Ava girl was right. Once you give in to it, there's all sorts of new Jedi mind tricks you can learn.” 

“Let her go.” I demanded. 

“Kill him.” Ellen whispered. 

“You'll be mopping up skull before you get a shot off.” Jake taunted. “Everybody, put your guns down. Except you, sweetheart.” Everyone but me and Ellen put their guns down, me because Jake most likely didn’t know I had one. “Okay. Thank you.” He turned around, pulling out the Colt and putting it into the crypt. I immediately pulled the gun away from Ellen’s head, my eyes turning red as I held out my hand, my powers dragging Jake to me so I could hold him by the neck, rage surging through me like it was addictive. 

“Which way do you wanna go, huh?” I sneered, tilting my head with a grin. “I could switch off your brain, rip your guts out, but no, that’s too quick for you. I have a better idea.” I reached out, putting my fingertips around his heart. He started twitching, graining is pain as I retracted my hand, red wisps of energy following and slowly feeding small tendrils into what formed into his heart, pulsing, still beating. 

“Please.” Jake whispered. “Don’t do this, please.”

“Do it.” Sam snarled. “Kill him.”

“You’d rip them apart.” 

And I want to. 

“Please-“ I snapped my fist shut, bursting the heart and killing Jake, his body going limp as his head lolled forwards. I threw him down onto the ground without a second thought, my eyes returning to their normal colour. 

“Beanie?” Dean spoke up. “That you?” 

“Who else?” I snapped, staring down at Jake’s body before stepping over it. The two runes on the crypt spun in different directions before stopping, and a sense of apprehension immediately took over me. 

“Oh, no.” Bobby whispered. 

“What is it?” Ellen asked. 

“Hell.” Dean pulled the Colt from the crypt, and we all stepped back as we heard a lock click. “Take cover— now!” We dived behind headstones right as a door burst open, clouds of black smoke flying everywhere. 

“What the hell just happened?!” Dean groaned, taking cover next to me. 

“That’s a Devil’s gate!” I yelled. “A damn door to hell!” 

“Come on! We gotta shut that gate!” Ellen cried out. 

“If the demon gave this to Jake…” Dean muttered, fiddling with the Colt, then maybe-“ The gun flew out of his hand and landed in Yellow Eyes’, who smirked. 

“Boys shouldn’t play with Daddy’s guns.” He sneered, throwing Dean aside. Then he turned to me, chuckling. “I knew putting you in the game would be unfair. Poor Jakey didn't stand a chance. And now his heart's gone." 

“Shut up.” 

“I’m gonna make you in the meantime.” He forced Sam and I against trees, shrugging at Sam. “I'll get to you in a minute, champ. But I'm proud of you— knew you had it in you.” Then he faced Dean, throwing him against a post. “Sit a spell. So, Dean... I gotta thank you. You see, demons can't resurrect people, unless a deal is made. I know, red tape- it'll make you nuts. But thanks to you, Sammy's back in rotation. Now, I wasn't counting on that, but I'm glad. I liked him better than Jake, anyhow. Tell me— have you ever heard the expression, ‘If a deal sounds too good to be true, it probably is?’” 

“You call that deal good?” Dean scoffed.

“Well, it's a better shake than your dad ever got. Michael never got a good one either. And you never wondered why? I'm surprised at you. I mean... you saw what your dear Ivy just did to Jake, right? That was pretty cold, wasn't it? How certain are you that what you brought back, is 100%, pure, Sam? After all, Beanie came back a changed badass, didn’t she?“ He chuckled. “You of all people should know, that's what's dead, should stay dead. Anyway... thanks a bunch. I knew I kept you alive for some reason. Until now, anyway. I couldn't have done it without your pathetic, self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourself for your family.” He pointed the Colt at Dean, but I saw the ghost of John Winchester creeping up behind him. And he wasn’t alone. 

Carter’s ghost was with him. 

They grabbed a hold of Yellow Eyes, making him drop the Colt. I broke free from his telekinesis with a burst of blue light, picking up the Colt and aiming it at him. 

“I shot the wrong guy with this when I first used it.” I seethed. “Not this time.” I fired, and it hit him right in the heart. I ignored the falling body, instead turning to Carter, who I realised I was walking towards. He gave me a smile and joyful salute, and I did the same, wiping a tear from my cheek as he disappeared with a white light. 

When we got to a motel, before we went inside, I took Dean by the arm, smiling at Sam like nothing was wrong. “You go in with the others, Sam, we’ll catch up.” 

“Ok.” Sam nodded awkwardly, then headed inside with Ellen and Bobby, both of whom nodded in a way that said ‘give him hell.’ 

And hell I gave him. 

The moment he was inside, I spun Dean to face me and decked him in the jaw, making him hold it with a groan. 

“Again?!” He hissed, but I didn’t care. 

“You did it, didn’t you?” I fumed, and he looked startled. 

“Wh-“ 

“Don’t you dare ‘what’ me, Dean, it’s a simple question, yes or no. You did it, didn’t you?” 

“Yes, I did!” Dean burst out, throwing his arms up in the air. “I put my profile in a box, buried it and sealed the deal.” 

“After I told you not to do anything stupid?!” I scoffed. “Dean, that goes beyond the laws of stupid! How much time do you even have left?” 

He remained silent, turning away. 

“Dean.” 

Still nothing. 

“Dean!” 

Why wasn’t he saying anything? 

“ANSWER ME, DAMNIT-“ 

“A YEAR!” He yelled, turning back around. “I have a year, ok? The damn demon wouldn’t settle for anything else!” He saw me just standing there and held out his hands, waiting for an answer. “Ivy?”

“YOU FRICKING IDIOT!” I screamed, pushing him. “Are you that desperate to limit your chances of living? Do you think that low of yourself? I know what your dad’s done to your protective instincts, Dean Winchester, but he seems to have done nothing for your own survival.” I pushed my finger against his chest, my eyes flickering red for a moment. “Because you feel it’s so necessary to protect Sam and I and blame yourself if we get hurt- just cut it! Because I’m done! Time and time again- I can’t stand it. I’m not going to sit here like your dad did and watch you throw away your life-“ 

“Then don’t.” He whispered, but it cut through my words like a yell. “Leave. Don’t watch me throw away my life.” 

I instantly deflated, setting my jaw. “You can’t be serious.” 

“Deadly.” He seethed, gritting his teeth. 

I shook my head, the winding coil in my head snapping suddenly. “Fine. Congratulations, though, you just killed yourself.” 

“I did it for a reason! Sam is my family, but you wouldn’t understand that, would you?” 

“You’re right, I wouldn’t.” I shrugged, biting back tears. “Even though I had two boys who I’d give my life for in a heartbeat. Or at least I did.” I turned on my heel, walking back into the motel. The first thing I did was grab my spare clothes from Jo, Sam’s eyebrows furrowing in confusion once he saw what I was doing. 

“What happened?” He asked. 

“Ask your brother.” I retorted, taking out the keys to my Mustang and getting in, flooring it. 

“Dean, what the hell?” Sam turned to Dean, gesturing in the direction of where I drove off. 

“I don’t know.” Dean whispered, breathing heavily and unable to take his eyes off where my car once was. 

“Seriously, man, what the hell?” 

“I don’t- I don’t know.” He gulped, running both hands through his hair. “What have I done?”

PREVIOUS

[exhuastedpigeon]

i think the nurse was there for bobby when his family died (his wife surely must have been in the burn unit) and now reconnecting with him helps him get over his loss (step 9) cause i genuinely do not want to see a BURN UNIT NURSE try to set bucks apartment on fire with buck inside (ashes, ashes) and everyone trying to save him (all fall down) with eddies parents coming to look after chris when he stays by unconcious bucks side 24/7

I would LOVE for the Amir (the burn unit nurse) to be someone who was a nurse for Bobby's wife before she passed. I think Bobby having to face that would be really harrowing emotionally.

Seeing him with a burn on his face makes me think that maybe he was in the apartment fire himself, but that could be a red herring to make us think he was in that fire but he was in a different fire and that's why he became a burn unit nurse.

The burn unit nurse burns down a building just doesn't really sit right with me and it especially doesn't sit right if he's trying to get revenge on Bobby for what he lost. I feel like if he was going to do that route he'd burn down Bobby's house or the fire station, not Buck's apartment.

I'm honestly, just SO excited for this arc for Bobby. I am a huge Malcolm-Jamal Warner fan and have been since i was a kid. The of the Cosby show where Theo Huxtable was diagnosed with dyslexia genuinely changed my life (I'm mildly dyslexic and seeing a character that I really loved with the same struggles as me was huge)

Anyway, yeah. I'm not a huge fan of some of the theories I've seen floating around, but people are having fun and that's what matters.

I'm personally team Amir is an emotional arc for Bobby and maybe helps him heal and helps him understand that the fire wasn't his fault. It may have started because of a space heater he was using, but it never should have gotten that out of control - it was the building owner who didn't keep the building up to code that allowed the fire to spread.

Or maybe Amir is angry at Bobby because of the fire. Maybe Bobby needs to ask him for forgiveness too. Maybe Amir is the start of Bobby truly getting into Step 9 and making amends.

But whatever is coming, I'm buckled in.

[buddie911abc]

911 Summary/Thoughts Season 1 Episode 5- Point of Origin

Caveat: I am up-to-date on all 911 episodes. For my reviews, I attempt to rewatch and remember my first impressions. I will occasionally, compare it to what I know now. I’ll try to warn of current spoilers when necessary.

Emergencies: The first emergency is a call to an Indian wedding. The hotel is not up-to-code and the floor collapses. There was a high death count before the team could start, and the bride was buried somewhere under the debris. She was found quickly and wasn’t injured beyond bumps and bruises.

The second emergency is to a car wash. An employee got caught on one of the spinning brushes. He was ok, but Buck couldn’t stop laughing at the video footage. His laughter spread to everyone else.

Personal Stories/Getting to Know: Bobby is back on the wagon after the last episode’s setback with sobriety. He’s better but not 100%. While at the wedding emergency, Bobby realized the hotel did not have the building up to code. He completely lost it with the owner. Hen tried to reel him back, but he snapped at her too. Later Bobby meets with a priest. He talks to him like a therapist. During his talk, Bobby admits that his team can’t know everything about him, and he confesses that he murdered his family. We then get a flashback to a younger Bobby. He comes home drunk and possibly high. He wasn’t a bad or violent drunk, but it is clear his wife, Marcy, suspects he was drinking and it might be a problem. We learn quickly that it is worse than drinking. He was taking pills. She confronts him and finds out that he was in an accident several years ago. He got addicted to pain medication and it escalated to other drugs. On this night, he fights with his wife, and even though we don’t know her well, we can see she is deeply hurt. I think that torments Bobby more when he relives that night. She tells him she will forgive him, and she cries. She then tells him that it won’t be that night. He goes to the roof and takes more pills. He was sleeping when the building caught fire. We learn that the space heater he left did help spark the fire, but the fire only destroyed the building because it wasn’t up to code and the sprinklers were not working. If the sprinklers had worked, the fire would have been put out without spreading. Bobby still blames himself because he feels that if sober, he would have noticed the fire violations. In the end, we learned that 148 people died in the fire. That is the number Buck found in Bobby’s little notebook in the last episode.

Meanwhile, Hen and Athena catch up after Athena’s temporary suspension for arresting the teenager bullying her daughter. Athena’s daughter is now back home, but she feels her house is unsettled.  She asks Hen what’s happening at her house, and Hen replies, “Nothing yet.” She then opens up about Bobby, talking about how he went on a bender after the plane crash and that she and Buck didn’t see anything personal in his apartment when they checked on him. Athena offered to do a background check, but Hen declined. She didn’t want to create more trust issues, and he was a better Captain than any she had had before.  Athena accepted this and proved she was paying attention by asking Hen what she meant by ‘nothing yet.’ Hen admits that her ex called from jail and wants to see her. She’s planning to go because she doesn’t want her ex to make trouble between her and her wife by trying to contact the son she gave up and signed over rights to. Later Hen does go to the prison to visit. Her ex wants Hen to speak up for her at the parole hearing. When we officially meet Karen, Hen admits her ex wanted her to speak on her behalf. Karen is suspicious.

Elsewhere, we get our first glimpse of Buck’s living arrangements. It looks like a frat house. Even though he doesn’t engage with them, Buck seems out of place with his friends. I feel like the Buck from the first episode would probably fit in with them, drinking, laughing, and taking very little seriously.  He doesn’t speak much beyond hello to them, and almost immediately, he sees an emergency alert and recognizes the name of the missing elderly person as Abby’s mom. He calls Abby to check in and she’s upset. He offers to come to help find her mom and promises that they can return to the texting and phone call relationship once it is over. She agrees. When he makes it to Abby’s house, we get a reminder of how seriously Buck is taking his relationship with her. He mistakes Carla for Abby because he never tried to find out what she looked like. He has been getting to know her on a deeper level. He doesn’t waste time flirting like the old Buck. He wants the info she has on her mother so they can get to the business of looking. While out looking for her mom, they do have a chance to talk more personally. Later when they discover that an accident has occurred nearby, Abby is the one to suggest they should check on it. They check on a few people and save a little girl from being electrocuted before returning to search for her mom. By the end of the day, they are still looking. It was Athena who called to let them know Abby’s mom had been found. There was a lot of relief and more flirting.

The episode ended on a good note. The 118 had a call that made them break their normal professional attitude and laugh together. Bobby promised to open up to them more and share his past.

Likes/Dislikes: I liked the interaction between Hen and Athena. They have a lot in common. They are strong women working in fields dominated by men and misogyny. I also liked how they introduced Hen’s sexuality into the storyline. It was an organic way to info dump without making the conversation sound like a coming-out confession. Athena and Hen have been friends for a long time. The conversation was comfortable and developed the character in such an authentic way.

Loved Carla’s facial expression when she saw Buck for the first time. I also loved how Abby quickly swooped in and he followed her. Carla was like, “I’m Carla by the way.”

I liked getting more of Bobby’s story, but it made me cry. I have my favorite quote listed below. Tragically, the last words she said were a confession of love mixed with a refusal to forgive immediately, and then the opportunity to forgive was gone.

The emergencies in this episode were meh.

Ships:

Hen/Karen We had our first introduction to Karen. Hen and Karen are an established couple with one adopted child between them. There hasn’t been a lot to pull us into the ship, but they are likable. I will start them out with a dinghy.

Buck/Abby – Loved the conversation between Buck and Abby in the Jeep. His complete shock over the fact that she hadn’t had sex in a year. I loved the flirting they did. Their ship has been upgraded from a dinghy to a small sailing ship.

Bobby/Marcy – They are an established couple, so we don’t get to see what made them good together, and she died before we got to know her. However, from what both actors brought to the performance, it didn’t sail long, but this ship went out with honors.

Favorite quote from this episode:

A sad quote. Marcy Nash: “I love you, Bobby…I’ll forgive you for this, just not tonight.”

Second favorite quote. It is more light-hearted. Buck: “You haven’t had sex in a year…Not even with yourself?”

[blueberrytwoberry]

star wars au idea

Okay so one of the ideas I played around with based on AUgust was a Star Wars AU for 9-1-1, but I don’t know exactly where I’m going with it as far as plot so i don't think I'll end up writing it and just want to free it from my brain

I’m just fascinated by the idea of them still working as, basically, emergency responders during the rebellion era, because SOMEONE has to be there to jump in and try to save people after/during a space battle, and that’s what THEY’RE doing. Sometimes they get involved in the fighting, of course, but their primary goal is keeping as many other rebels alive as possible 

Chim is the longest standing member of the 118 rescue squad. He joined up after some Imperials came into a bar where he’d been working and started shit, eventually starting a fire because they suspected some of the clientele were rebels.

Chim managed to get out the fire and keep everyone alive after the Imperials left and realized he’d found his calling, but it’s been a hard, brutal road and he’s already lost so many people he cared about through the rebellion. 

Hen left behind a soulless (but profitable) job in the Empire after she watched her mentor get dragged away for suspected sympathies with the Rebellion (turns how Hen had some of those sympathies, too). Along the way, she met Karen, who’s one of the Rebellion’s preeminent ship designers, responsible for the creations or engine modifications that help keep their rag tag groups ahead of complete destruction by the Empire. 

They don’t see each other as often as either of them likes, because Karen’s work requires her to stay in one place, as much as possible, and Hen’s pulls her from one battlefield to another. 

The group is led by Captain Nash, of course, who was an officer in the rescue corps back in the old Republic army and is carrying around just a ton of trauma from the Clone Wars (and from the loss of his family due to an accident he caused) 

Athena is The Law on an outer rim planet that often serves as their home base, when they have a chance to take some downtime. She’s basically in charge and gets to do her full old-west gunfire strut as much as she damn well pleases. 

Absolutely no one realizes she and Bobby are Together for an embarrassingly long amount of time. 

Buck is a guy who joined the rebellion, initially, for a girl. He has no real… connection to the cause, not at first. He lived a life mostly untouched by conflict, on an Imperial world, and only got a look at the hell that so much of the rest of the galaxy was going through after he left home. 

And then he got involved with the rebellion, things with the girl fell apart, and he stuck around because he’d found a family and something to do with his life that felt worthwhile and bigger than he was, by that point.

But he’s still got this creeping sense of… not really belonging enough, sometimes, because he joined “late” and not because he wanted to stand up for what was right, even if he’s now fully bought into the cause. So, yeah, imposter syndrome rebel Buck. 

(And, because this is Star Wars, he probably at some point discovers that he’s a clone of his dead older brother, that his parents failed to deal with their grief and thought they could just replace their son, but then never quite managed to love Buck in the same way, anyway, because, yeah, grief doesn’t work that way. So he’s got even MORE imposter syndrome after Maddie tells him about that, he’s not even his own person! He’s just the clone of a dead kid!)

Anyway, so Buck is with his Rebellion Group, grappling with his complex feelings about whether he belongs with them REALLY or not, when Eddie gets recruited into their group, and Eddie, ooof

Well. Eddie. Was in fact an Imperial soldier. Recruited at eighteen. Served for years, until he sustained injuries in combat. And then he came back to his family, and discovered a few things, like that his wife was working with the Rebellion and that their son’s injuries had come from an Imperial doctor, who’d suspected Christopher of being Force sensitive, and, while he was processing all of that, Shannon went to Alderaan, using a visit to her sick mother as an excuse to deliver some important documents to the Organas. 

And then the planet blew up.

In the aftermath of that, Eddie fully defected over to the Rebellion and is now focused on keeping his kid safe (surprise, turns out Chris still has SOME access to the Force) and clearing out the red from his ledger. 

I know I’d want the plot to involve Buck basically figuring out Eddie’s Whole Ass Messy Deal, and drama when everyone realizes that Eddie used to be a storm trooper, with that probably coming out when they get in an actual fight, and think they’re all going to die because they aren’t trained as soldiers–

Except Eddie is, and ends up saving them, demonstrating a great familiarity with imperial weaponry and tactics, and most of the crew just puts two and two together and leaves him alone (Bobby knows about his history, the rest…not so much), but not Buck, who tracks him down while Eddie is tending to his own wounds, to ask a lot of questions like “Where’d you learn to shoot like that?” and “Wow, you just killed kind of a lot of people, what’s up with that?” while, of course, taking over the job of tenderly patching Eddie up.

Leading to Eddie having a breakdown and spilling his guts about what he’s done and his guilt and how HE should have been the one who died, not Shannon, and Buck going, “Well, I’m GLAD you didn’t die!” and Eddie going, “Well, I don’t see why” 

And that leading to a kiss and make-outs where Buck is trying to be careful of Eddie’s injuries, with things progressing from there.

And, basically, the plot would roll all the way through until RotJ, where their crew is there for the Battle of Endor, because everyone is expecting heavy casualties, and they get to see the destruction of the second Death Star and the fall of the Empire and enjoy the brightness of the future. 

[madsworld15]

Bobby Nash's Season 7 Story Arc and His Full-Circle Growth

Ever since Season 1, we've known that Bobby Nash has felt tremendous guilt regarding the Minnesota apartment fire that killed his wife, two kids, and 145 other souls. In fact, during Season 1 he frequently takes out or references his little black book. In it he records a life saved that represents one of the lives lost in that fire.

As of Season 7 Episode 8, it has officially been 10 years since that fateful night that turned Bobby's life around -- getting him clean, sober, and back to being the firefighter he was always meant to be. That in itself is significant. 10 years means he has probably saved close to 148 people if not more. (But wouldn't it be poetic if his 148th save is Athena) It is also a well-rounded number that shows viewers something major is coming down the pipeline for him regarding that.

I want to dive into the significance of Amir, but before I do that, I want to back up to the start of this season and break down how this whole season has been about Bobby's finale.

From the start of Bobby and Athena's cruise arc, it has been quite evident that Bobby's journey this season will involve finally accepting the love he's been given and letting go of the burden of guilt he's been carrying around for 10 years. We see that in how he interacts with two people he met on a call with Athena during the early days of their knowing each other.

He gets the opportunity to do a heroic save of Norman despite all the odds. In the moment, we didn't think anything of it, but now that we've seen Season 7 Episode 9, the moment carries weight. Bobby has always felt that he doesn't deserve praise or recognition for the work he does because he's "just doing his job." And when Athena mentions, "if Buck could see him now," Bobby immediately quips back that he'd rather it be Buck doing the saving.

At first, it seems like that comment is just an offhand "I'm not a hero needing recognition kind of comment," but then in the context of the penultimate episode, we see that, in actuality, Bobby doesn't feel he deserves anyone else to see him do something so reckless and dangerous, especially when he's still not sure if Norman will survive or not.

During that same 3-episode arc, we see Bobby and Athena trapped in the ship as the water rises. Bobby tells Athena that he's proud of her and grateful for the life they've built. He mentions that when the apartment fire happened, he never expected to find love and family again. This admission and acceptance in a moment of distress highlights early on that Bobby is about to embark on a wider story arc of acceptance this season.

Then, he risks it all by going fully underwater to hold up his wife so that she can survive. That's the strength of a man who isn't afraid to die, nor does he seek it out like he once did as a means of escape. For Bobby, dying to save Athena is the ultimate sacrifice, and he would do it a million times over. He's made peace with his life.

Of course, we don't really see that for what it is until Season 7 Episode 9 forces us to reflect on everything Bobby has done this season.

Now, we can talk about the significance of Amir. Just when Bobby felt he had dealt with everything regarding his past, or at least we felt he had, along comes this guy who survived the apartment fire.

All through Season 7 Episode 8, Bobby is going out of his way to force Amir to tell him he absolves Bobby of his guilt, but why? It all comes down to Bobby needing someone outside himself, who's life was affected by the old version of him, to recognize that Bobby isn't that person anymore. He can hear it from the 118 and Athena until they are all blue in the face, but he won't believe it until someone from his past says it.

Therefore, going after Amir, trying to save him, all while having flashback memories of his father (more on that soon) is a significant step toward Bobby accepting that he's become a better man than he ever thought he could be.

Amir even telling him that he can't absolve him because he still feels anger toward him, helps Bobby to see his own absolution for himself. It helps him to realize that he can't rely on this growth or closure from anyone but himself. If he wants to rid himself of his guilt he has to do it for himself. He has to be ready.

Now, before I get to the nitty-gritty of Season 7 Episode 9's symbolism and significance we have to talk about his father. Don't worry. I am almost done here. Thanks for sticking with me thus far.

So, what is the significance of bringing Bobby's father into the narrative during Season 7, after Bobby has had his life put together for some time? Because it narratively clues us into the internal struggle Bobby still has about the man he was, the man he believes he now is, and how much time he feels he has left.

We see Bobby think back on his father winning a major accommodation for his work in and out of a uniform despite the truth that the man was a functioning alcoholic -- until he wasn't. Bobby thinking about the trajectory his father's life went on has major significance as he tries to force Amir to amend his guilt.

Bobby is showing the viewer that he was led down the path of alcoholism thanks to his father. But there are subtler clues in each of these flashback scenes that deserve to be talked about.

First, there is the award his father receives, its clearly a moment that Bobby looks back on as one of the last times he saw his father in a positive light. He made him a book (which comes up later in a different way) and chose his father when given the choice between households after the divorce.

Then, there are the moments Bobby takes care of his dad -- cooking for him -- that show us why Bobby is the caretaker he currently is today. And, there is the anger his father felt when Bobby called the fire department because of a little fire. It's clearly a guilt that Bobby has carried with him all these years later.

Finally, and most significantly, Bobby learns to ignore his dad because he is frustrated with the way the man treats him and how drunk he always is. By ignoring him, his father dies, and Bobby isn't there to call for help in time to save him. This kickstarts Bobby picking up alcohol as an acceptable drink.

Thanks to these flashbacks, we better understand that Bobby is the father of the 118 because he was failed by his own father, which led him down a path of drinking and failing his own children. Bobby's move to LA after the apartment fire allowed him to fully start over and be the man he always wished his father could be and the man he could've been without his father's influence.

Now, let's dive into every move Bobby makes on Season 7 Episode 9 and everything he says.

From the moment Bobby is awarded an honor for being a wonderful firefighter and hero, in and out of the uniform, we know this isn't going to go over well with Bobby. In fact, right after the ceremony he is seen arguing with his boss, resigning according to Athena.

I'm no expert, but if I had to put my money on anything, it would be on Bobby connecting his award to the end of his father's career and life. Bobby's father received the exact same kind of award right before his drinking lost him his job and turned him into a violent, hateful man. Bobby lives in fear of becoming that person. He was already close enough to it when the Minnesota apartment fire happened.

As I previously said, he's moved forward from that, but this ceremony brings all that guilt back in full force, and he can't continue being the man he's been this past decade.

When Athena confronts him, he finally breaks down and admits the existence of his little black book of 148 lines. When she asks him about where it is and he claims he threw it out we can see in his eyes that the physical book might be gone but that list is still in his head. And he thinks about it regularly.

Then the most gut-wrenching words come out of Bobby's mouth, "I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!" This leads everyone, including Athena, to believe he's suicidal and thinking of ending things. But I noticed something different. I noticed the anguish and finality of his statement. He's not thinking of ending it all; he's frustrated that he has this beautiful thing that he has started to truly believe will be snatched back from him.

This is where I start to think that Bobby possibly senses that something is going to happen to him soon. Whether its because he feels his path is bound to mirror his father's or it's because he gets the vibe that his time on Earth is coming to a close. He's done what he's supposed to, so why is he still here?

My theory that he knows his time is coming to a close is backed up by the words and actions he has with his team. Bobby could easily sit everyone down and tell them he's ready to retire and live a life of leisure, but he doesn't. Instead, he makes sure to spend significant time with each member of his team, including Ravi, to give them a final memory of him or some final nuggets of wisdom.

His words to Hen about needing to believe she has more to offer the world are going to come in handy in the near future as she fights to keep Mara in her family. He is passing the torch to Hen so to speak, telling them that she still has some "babies" to mother, as he looks to Buck and Eddie.

Then, there is the final scene between Buck and Bobby. For the first time in his life, Buck gets to hear someone he sees as a parental figure tell him they are proud of him. Bobby's words of love and appreciation really seal the deal that Bobby believes he's not going to have the chance to speak to this young man he sees as his son ever again. He passes on the advice that Buck has found a good person in Tommy and that he's grown into quite the firefighter over the last 7 years.

If Bobby's time really has come, it's a beautiful send-off for him that allows his character to come full circle. He started off believing he wasn't worthy of the uniform he wore because he couldn't save his own family from a fire he caused. And now, someone has set fire to his home with Athena, and he has successfully saved her, to his own detriment.

Again, we aren't sure how many people he's saved of the 148, but wouldn't it just be the cherry on top of his story if Athena was his 148?

[crashpill]

Downer

Name: Isabella Bloom

Age: 30

Gender: She/Her

Residence: Lud's Holm

Job: Hair dresser

Hair color: Dark Brown

Eye color: Grey

Family: Father and mother dead, brother works as a Constable

Relationship: Single

Special features:

Birthmarks on the face, (Half mask)

Likes:

Uncle Jack

Sewing

Tea

Sun

Making people happy

Favorite song: Not a Crime to Smile

Dislikes:

Snow

Injuries

Constables

Soldiers

Fire

Backstory:

Isabella and her brother Edward witnessed a tragic incident as children that claimed their parents' lives. In a devastating air raid on Wellington Wells, their parents were killed amid the chaos of war. Isabella was only 14 years old at the time, and Edward just 18.

With the loss of their parents, not only did the siblings' idyllic world crumble, but their family was torn apart. Without relatives to take them in, Edward, the elder, felt compelled to care for Isabella. In a world shrouded in Joy, where grief was considered a weakness, he tried to be a substitute family for his sister. The two endured a challenging childhood, marked by loss, loneliness, and the constant struggle to suppress their tears.

To make ends meet, Edward took on a job as a delivery boy at an early age, and later, when old enough, joined the Constabulary. The responsibility weighed heavily on his young shoulders as he tried to shield Isabella from the world's horrors.

In their cozy home in Wellington Wells, Isabella and her brother Edward lived happily. Isabella's hair salon was not far from their home, where customers came not only for a haircut but also for the warm atmosphere.

Isabella was a respected hairdresser in Wellington Wells, renowned for her artistic hairstyles that enhanced the city's splendor. Her life seemed perfect until she lost her hair salon due to an unfortunate chain of events threatening her livelihood. A devastating fire, triggered by an unlucky short circuit, destroyed her business and everything she had built. Without insurance and financial means to rebuild the salon, Isabella faced ruin.

Desperate and without hope for improvement, she turned increasingly to Joy to numb her worries and fears. However, over time, her body could no longer tolerate the drug, and Isabella found herself caught in a whirlwind of withdrawal symptoms and depression, while her once lively salon turned into a sooty ruin.

Without her livelihood and the support of her salon, Isabella not only lost her economic security but also her faith in the apparent perfection of Wellington Wells.

Instead of living in the euphoric illusion of Joy, Isabella found herself in the abyss of reality, plagued by withdrawal symptoms and the painful realization that the world around her was, in truth, crueler than she had ever imagined.

Her brother, torn between duty and family ties, eventually decided to bring Isabella to the outskirts of the Garden District as a Downer. There, in the decaying remnants of the city, Isabella must not only battle physical withdrawal symptoms but also the emotional turmoil between her past and an uncertain future. Her journey is marked by the quest for truth, self-discovery, and overcoming the dark shadows that loom over Wellington Wells and her family.

Relationships with:

Arthur: She could never really become friends with him but she liked his brother Percival. Sometimes she misses Percy as she remembers him more and more.

Sally: She doesn't know Sally well enough.

Ollie: Better keep distance from him.

Relationships with other characters:

Nick: She really enjoyed listening to his music. Would do anything to go to one of his concerts.

James and Roger: She doesn't know them both.

Percival: She was friends with him at the time and got along well with him. She doesn't know what happened to him and misses him in dark times.

Bobbies: Isabella's relationship with Constables is strained, marked by a conflict of allegiance. Her brother, Edward, being a Constable, adds complexity as duty clashes with familial bonds. The authorities view her as a Downer, intensifying the tension and making her interactions with Constables fraught with suspicion and risk.

Doctors: She actually likes them, Isabella maintains a neutral stance towards the doctors and harbors some hopes for understanding and support.

Uncle Jack: She loved watching him and misses seeing him on TV. She likes going to the Uncle Jack meeting at her place in Lud's Holm, but it's just not the same.

Foggy Jack: Isabella's relationship with Foggy Jack is characterized by caution and uncertainty. She doesn't want to meet him but would like to know more about him.

Downers: Can't trust everyone and she's pretty careful too. But when she meets someone good, she likes to help the person out and also share the things she has.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck and Bobby heading for breakdowns: The calm before the storm

During season 5 and early into season 6, Chimney, Athena, Maddie, Eddie and Hen all experienced their own emotional and/or mental breakdowns that had been building for several weeks or even months for some of them.  Bobby was there for Athena, Buck was there for Eddie, Chimney left and went to search for Maddie and Karen was there for Hen but while Buck and Bobby were there for others during their breakdowns, they have yet to experience breakdowns of their own.

It’s been speculated by some within the 9-1-1 fandom since season 5B that Buck and Bobby could experience simultaneous breakdowns during season 6 and if they keep bottling everything up, it’s certainly possible they could both have them before the end of the season.

There have been times when Bobby’s and Buck’s storylines either paralleled, coincided and/or collided with each other.  Not only do they look alike but their behaviors are very similar.  They both tend to carry guilt around with them like it’s another uniform even though it’s not theirs to carry because others are to blame for the things that happened, i.e., Bobby carried guilt after Jonah took Hen and Chimney in 5x17 “Hero Complex” and in 4x4 “9-1-1 What’s Your Grievance?” after Buck learned the reason for his birth, he started carrying the guilt from not being able to save Daniel.  Recently they’ve both been exhibiting signs that show they could be headed for emotional and/or mental breakdowns of their own and if they happen at the same time or one happens as the result of the other, it’s going to be difficult for everyone in their found family.  Bobby’s and Buck’s relationship is more than that of a fire captain and a firefighter because they act more like father and son.  Bobby lost his wife and his biological son and daughter during an apartment fire that he accidentally started in Minnesota before he moved to L.A.  Buck’s biological parents never cared enough about him to show him any love or affection since he was born as a savior baby for his brother Daniel who died anyway.

Bobby has relapsed before and it happened during a time when he was struggling with the guilt associated from the loss of his family, the loss of the other residents who were also inside of the apartment building fire he accidentally caused in Minnesota along with the lives of those that were lost during the plane crash in season 1.  Buck and Hen were there for him after he relapsed and they didn’t tell anyone about it until Buck told his lawyer Chase Mackey in 3x4 “Triggers”.  Bobby started showing subtle signs that could be associated with emotional trauma in 3x17 “Powerless” after Athena was attacked which happened almost two years before he hired Jonah in 5x11 “Outside Looking In” and his emotions have continued to escalate into season 6.  He almost relapsed and started drinking again in 5x18 “Starting Over” but he poured the whole bottle of alcohol he purchased down the drain after Eddie left following their conversation about Jonah but since Athena was at work, Bobby was in the house alone.  Afterwards, he clasped his hands together, put them underneath his chin and stared into oblivion.  Athena mentioned his sobriety to Hen in 6x1 “Let the Games Begin” since they were preparing to go on a cruise for their long-awaited honeymoon and there would have been several bars that would be serving alcohol on the ship.  Athena’s dad had an accident which caused them to cancel their trip and go to Florida instead.  While they were there, a 45-year-old mystery had to be solved since the remains of a child were found on Athena’s parents’ property in 6x3 “The Devil You Know”.  Bobby got into a fight while they were there and he returned to L.A. before Athena did because she was still helping her parents get settled after her father’s stroke.

In 6x4 “Animal Instincts” Bobby was at home and lonely because Athena was still in Florida and if he hadn’t commandeered Hoover the dog from that frat house the 118 had been dispatched to, he could have relapsed while he continued to wait for Athena’s return.

Buck started showing signs of an emotional or mental breakdown not long after he started working at the 118 but his emotions escalated during season 3 too after Eddie was trapped in The Well in 3x15 “Eddie Begins”.  The emotional signs associated with him having a breakdown have also been increasing for more than two years and with each additional trauma he experiences, more layers are being added to his emotional and mental stress.

Once he learned about the reason for his birth in 4x4 “9-1-1 What’s Your Grievance?” and 4x5 “Buck Begins” it caused him to almost give up while he was inside of the warehouse fire. That was followed by Eddie being shot in front of him in 4x13 “Suspicion”, Maddie leaving in 5x3 “Desperate Measures”, Chimney punching him in 5x4 “Home and Away”, him wanting to transfer to another firehouse in 5x5 “Peer Pressure”, Eddie’s breakdown in 5x13 “Fear-O-Phobia”, Jee-Yun spending the night in the hospital in 5x14 “Dumb Luck”, Bobby and May almost dying in 5x16 “May Day”, his girlfriend lying to him in 5x17 “Hero Complex” which caused Hen and Chimney to be taken and tortured by Jonah, Bobby’s guilt about hiring Jonah and Buck finally breaking up with his girlfriend after an exhausting year of him being entombed in his loft with her in 5x18 “Starting Over”. Those were just the incidents that happened during seasons 4 and 5 but his emotional and mental traumas continued into season 6.  Buck was overlooked for the interim captain spot in 6x1 “Let the Games Begin”, he lost a victim in 6x2 “Crash and Learn”, one of his former roommates asked him to be a sperm donor and Chimney was trapped inside of a car with a drunk driver in 6x4 “Animal Instincts”, in 6x5 “Home Invasion” Buck was trying to mentally prepare himself for Hen leaving the 118 after she passed her medical school exam and in 6x6 “Tomorrow” Buck thought Karen could experience complications since her spleen had to be removed after the explosion.

It appears they’re both smiling through their pain but the longer they continue to hide their feelings, it’s becoming easier to notice the changes in their behaviors.  Christopher mentioned Hoover could have been suffering from “separation anxiety” in 6x5 “Home Invasion” but his statement could also be attributed to both Buck and Bobby because they appear to struggle whenever they are left alone.  Both of their mental storms have been brewing for a while and just like when a person loses the ability to breathe while they are in the vortex of a tornado, if Bobby and Buck don’t seek help soon, it’s going to become more difficult for them to breathe too.  Currently it’s like they’re in the eye of a hurricane where everything seems calm but in actuality the storm continues to spin and destroy everything that’s surrounding them.  Will Buck and Bobby both experience breakdowns during season 6?  Only the writers, showrunners and producers know the answer to that question.

GIF 5x4 “Home and Away”

GIF 5x4 “Home and Away”

GIF 6x2 “Crash and Learn”

GIF 5x12 “Boston”

GIF 5x13 “Fear-O-Phobia”

GIF 5x17 “Hero Complex”

GIF 5x17 “Hero Complex”

GIF 5x18 “Starting Over”

GIF 5x18 “Starting Over”

GIF 4x2 “Alone Together”

GIF 4x13 “Suspicion”

GIF 4x5 “Buck Begins”

GIF 5x6 & 5x9 Combination

GIF 6x1 “Let the Games Begin”

GIF 6x2 “Crash and Learn”

GIF 6x2 “Crash and Learn”

GIF 6x4 “Animal Instincts”

GIF Season 1

GIF Season 1

GIF Seasons 1 & 2 Combination

GIF 6x4 “Animal Instincts”

GIF Seasons 1-5 Combination

GIF 4x5 “Buck Begins”

GIF 5x3 “Desperate Measures”

[chasingdreamsonariverbank]

Ok. Stick with me here...what if Amir was trying to save Marcy before the firefighters got there and that's how he burnt his face, she got out of the apartment and Amir saw her, and tried to get her out but she wouldn't leave, because her kids were still in the apartment.

He knew the Nash's cause they lived next door to him. He always had a soft spot for them because they were good neighbours, and Bobby used to give them tupperware filled food.

Over the years, he always thought of the man next door that lost his family in the fire. When Bobby sees him, his guilt is reignited because he, too, lost his family.

P.s I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 304

Exodus/Arachnids in the UK

“Exodus”

Plot Description: In apocalypse world, several family reunions yield varying results. Sam and Dean attempt to plan a mass escape through the rift

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: No one died

I know this is has always been about family drama but they turned it up a notch

I love how many times Sam says he’ll handle someone and then he doesn’t….this time about Lucifer

Poor Jack ☹️

I don’t like how Lucifer is looking at Mary——she’s not gonna go back with the boys?

Oh no….oh! Right! The entire premise of this episode…Sam was agreeing with Mary’s decision, but only partially. He still wants her back home but in order to get that, they have to make this world…not the apocalypse, but they’re gonna regroup in our world

Why would Cas leave Jack with Lucifer?! Like, let them talk, sure, Jack deserves to know about this half of his genetics…but keep them supervised!

Why is this plan so bad? Why does Bobby think that?

There’s an audio used on tiktok about how much hotter some men get when their whole life falls apart. I still hate Ketch, but…it’s not untrue about him

There’s an evil Castiel here?!

Oh, they’re gonna be doing practically the same thing. Cas getting info from the guy who set up Charlie and Ketch, and evil Cas doing the same but worse TO Charlie and Ketch

“I’ve known you since the stars were made” is such a good line, you’d think it was from Good Omens between the ineffable husbands, but it’s Gabriel telling Lucifer that he (L) can’t change and is incapable of love and empathy

Damn, Gabe. A little harsh.

What is this voice, Misha? It almost sounds German?

Watching Cas kill evil Cas sure was something. That’s a new poll, would you kill your clone?

Charlie and Ketch got rescued…AND everyone decided to go through the rift? What’s a gonna go wrong?! This is the penultimate episode of the season. Things are going to smoothly

This is unexpectedly sage and decent advice Lucifer is giving to Jack…

Roro strengthening the rift 💖

Of COURSE once it’s down to just a few, Michael shows up

Is Gabriel dead for good now?! Nooooo

Well, at least Michael and Lucifer are locked away in apocalypse world…….for now

SOMEONE CHECK ON JACK!!!! Y’all are celebrating too much and he’s just lost his uncle and dad (the second one only sort of) and didn’t even kill his other uncle, like he promised he would do

Yeah, I kind of figured Lucifer would propose a team up with Michael. This can’t go well

“Arachnids in the UK”

Plot Description: something is very wrong with the spiders in Sheffield. The Doctor and friends investigate

This man who seems to be a stand in for the US president is VERY obviously a very certain recent one, and after last episode, I just don’t know that England needs to be saying so much about the US’s history and politics when they’re no better

The dance the Doctor does every time they want to invite a new companion is so funny. They have to make it seem like they’re lonely enough to like some company but not enough that they’re desperate for it. Though Thirteen immediately being down for tea at Yaz’s is a nice change from past iterations

Doc, you could get a sofa for the TARDIS. You don’t have to do small talk like this

Ohhhhhhhhh Yaz’s mom was the woman that dude fired

Oh Graham…no, it’s HARD going back to a place you shared with someone you recently lost

I know they’re trying to make the webs ominous, but it’s not working. Well, ok. That’s TOO many cobwebs. It’s still not scary

When that same thing happened to Frodo, it was a lot scarier. That spider might not be Shelob size, but it’s way bigger than your average Australian one

Oooo, what’s Ryan’s beef with his dad?

I thought for a moment the hotel owner (who no longer seems to actually be the president but is still very reminiscent of said former president) was involved in the spider thing, and maybe he still is, just funding more than hands on

If the spiders weren’t fucking huge, no one would care

LIVING for Ryan doing shadow puppets while the Doctor and this scientist discuss the abnormal behaviors the spiders have been exhibiting

I have had it with these morherfucking spiders in this motherfucking town

No. No. Absolutely not. Why is it GIGANTIC?! That’s…WAY bigger than the other ones

This dude is so fucking pathetic, and not in the good way

I am now way too aware of anything that’s remotely tickling me. Megumi doesn’t help

He’s not president but he’s planning on running for president

That dude should not have a gun…

We already knew he was a terrible and sleazy businessman, but metaphorically washing his hands by saying he just signs the contracts…I wanna punch him

Yaz’s dad is gonna be so funny when they get out of this

I cannot wait for this episode to be over. I can deal with regular sized spiders, but this is……it’s too many and they’re too big

I love when they choose to go with the Doctor. It’s always such a heartwarming scene

[dev235]

Will contain spoilers to Bowman of Wellwood.

You have been warned.

Dear @neonthewrite,

I just bought and read "Bowman of Wellwood".

And my gosh.

Is it one of, if not the best G/T story I have EVER READ.

Read it in less than an hour; but it was the best hour of my life.

So as a self-proclaimed "terrible book reviewer that has no idea what he's doing and has never written an actual book in his life", I shall now gush about the book, what I love, and what I dislike.

Characters

My, my, my...

I first read all the other (free) Wellwood AUs with Brothers Apart, Sam of Wellwood, the various oneshots, etc. before BoW. When I first looked at Bobby, Jacob, and Chase, I thought they were pretty one-dimensional in some ways.

Jacob just seemed like a sprite/bitty loyalist, who "could do no wrong", Chase was a gremlin who, similar to Jacob, couldn't do anything wrong, and Bobby was just an arse. Static, manipulative, just another crack in the unpaved road; all the bad things. Logan, on par with his other appearances, was just as infuriatingly good at hurting the small people (His blood shall boil in the undying fires of Hell itself until he is nothing more than a lifeless husk of what he once was).

Bowman of Wellwood changes all of that, perhaps because (heh, no duh) this story is probably where they originated from.

Jacob's introduction, similar to Brothers Lost and the likes, is tainted by a bad first impression, and I have to commend how one-sided the actual "badness" of the interaction is, and how well it's executed; Jacob doesn't really think that what he's doing (up until the "wing-no-hurty" part) is really that bad... as the human. And unlike [Brothers] Lost, this interaction is directly between two characters, with the only Bowman being the "catalyst of the ultimate realization", which builds up Jacob and Bowman's characters (Bowman's values and Jacob's actions). The moment where Jacob chooses Bobby over Bowman? Oooh, it hurts.

Chase, unlike all of his other "cameos", only furthers the chain of bad impressions by being overly grabby. This contrasts the initial expectations I had of him and makes him that much better as side character. He can make big mistakes as well. The only real issue I found was that he didn't exactly do... much. Although yes, he isn't exactly a main character of any sort, his personality never quite shows any changes, and he never really gets "screen time" as Jacob's friend, unlike Lost, or as a separate character, like Chase in Lilliput; he just feels like comedic relief at times. Perhaps if they had an interaction that strengthened their relationship, it would make the part where Jacob almost dies that much more impactful. That scene, by the way, is (chef's kiss) beautiful and I cried. A lot.

Bobby, though, is the main highlight. His development is a day-and-night difference, and it really makes his other appearances quite drab in comparison. I love this Bobby, where he isn't quite a good guy, but he's on a path of redemption, and it makes him a better person in the end. Hey, I'm all for sad endings for the pseudo-antagonist, but I'm glad I didn't feel like beating him up at the end of the story. I do have to say though, I do wish the book went a little deeper into his background. As far as I can tell (I read this in an hour, mind you; I tend to overlook details), the only real motive that Bobby had to reveal Bowman to his grandfather was validation. To feel a sense of fulfillment that he helped his family. I mean, hey, good for him, but why does he want that sense of accomplishment? Did his family look down on him when he was younger?

Maybe I missed that detail, who knows.

Plot

The plot is amazing. I love how in most of the stories involving Bobby, he's treated as the antagonist, mostly, like in Brothers Lost and Bobby of Nowhere. But in BoW, he's brushed aside before he even really gets to do anything particularly terrible, because arses like Logan exist. Of course, "wing-no-hurty: the sequel" is still terrible, don't get me wrong, but it pales in comparison to Logan's actions, and emphasizes that Bobby is redeemable; Logan is not.

I love that as the story progresses, Bowman's absence in Wellwood only grows, starting with when he first sees the human's, to the end of the story. It shows how he slowly becomes more accustomed to the humans he trusts, and that they aren't really that different. And also it shows that they WON'T STOP TRAPPING THE POOR MAN OH MY GAWSH.

The humor is lovely. Period. Need I say more? Seeing the humans snark at Bowman, only for him to pull out a hilarious rebuttal out from behind his back is so perfect. The sprites' lack of knowledge on human things always gets me no matter where I see it, and there's always a... nice... Chase Lisong quip when it's needed.

The death of Lord Scar isn't really illustrated enough, though. He's an important part of Bowman's life, a figure that he sort of looks up to, that everyone looks up to. I sort of wish there was a scene for mourning and honoring him, maybe giving him another surname for defeating humans, like "Giantsbane" or something like that. If the sprites mourn and honor, that is.

This story, like all stories you write tend to have, has amazing, suspenseful moments. Logan's entrance? Unexpected (for when it happens, at least), and so well done. When Jacob gets shot? Expected - there was a mention of it in one of the other stories - but just as heartbreaking.

Prayers

Oh, the sprite/Spirit universe just got so much larger.

Bowman being revealed to be able to pray to the Water Spirit, only to seamlessly transition into him using it to save Jacob is just so amazing.

However, I will mention the abruptness - is that the right word? - of Prayers. While it's mentioned all throughout the beginning of the book, the actual workings of it seems to be unknown until it suddenly pops up when Bowman gets hurt that one time. And then when it's abruptly brought up to the humans, they have no idea what is going on.

Again, I might've missed the details where it's brought up.

So yeah, that's Bowman of Wellwood.

It's truly an amazing story. I loved it, and I'm sure anyone, whether they're in the G/T community or not, will enjoy it just as much. I may be a bit late to this party (the cake has already been abandoned and the balloons have already lost their helium), but anyone who hasn't already, please read this story. It's only five bucks as an e-book in Amazon.

Just read the dang thing; it's definitely worth it.

[make-me-imagine]

Strength and Pain

Prompts: "I thought I'd never see you again." + "Being strong doesn’t mean never asking for help or admitting you’re in pain." Requested by:@spuffyfan394

Pairing: Evan "Buck" Buckley x Gen!Neutral Reader

Warnings: Mentions of a sniper, spoilers for the episode. *This takes place during the sniper episode (S4E14). Reader in exchange for Taylor; re-write.

Word Count: 1k

General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural, @caswinchester2000 @imaginesfire 911/Buck Taglist: @bellarkeselection, @shiftingwh0r3, @rqmanoff, @webreathfandoms

-

When you arrived just after the 118, you were already anxious. The sniper could be anywhere. Here, at another location, anywhere. You chose to be with the 118 as their back up, because they were family, and had already been made victims by the sniper once.

As you climbed out of your car, people were bustling around. You had heard over your radio, that a man was pinned at the top of a construction crane. It was risky getting to him under any circumstance, but now there was a further degree of danger added on top.

Looking over the group of fire fighters, you recognized all of them, but one seemed to be missing. You frowned as you looked around for your boyfriend, why wasn't he with the others? You met Bobby's eyes and you saw a strange emotion cross his face. He frowned at you and nodded, something disproving in his face before he glanced up.

Following his eyes, you looked up, seeing a firefighter climbing up the crane. You didn't need to ask who it was, you knew, and you felt your chest tighten, and your heart drop. It was Buck, donning a kevlar vest and a helmet, but you still knew that would not be protection enough for a trained sniper.

Your heart seemed to sit still in your chest as you watched the scene above you. Buck had painted a target on his own back. You knew that for whatever reason he was doing it, it was on purpose, and that Bobby had not approved. You loved him, but his recklessness always scared you. You had seen him hurt many times before, but this felt different than all those other times, though you weren't really sure why.

Anger, fear, and worry all rushed through you as your eyes bounced between Evan, and every surrounding building. At any moment you waited for a shot to ring out, to see him fall limply above you, out of reach. Every minute seemed to last forever, and every minute brought a new fearful thought into your mind.

Your heart only seemed to start beating again when Buck was safely on the ground again. You watched him for a few moment, looking him over, telling yourself he was okay.

As Buck looked around his surroundings, his eyes locked with yours. He didn't know you were here, didn't know you were watching him. He saw the fear, relief and anger in written across your face as you stared at him, and he felt guilt rise through him.

The temptation to run to him, throw your arms around him filled you. But the anger was stronger, louder. You did not want to forgive him so easily for his decision, you could have lost him. He was too reckless this time, and it hurt you to think of what could have happened.

He took a step towards you, and you took a step back. Sparing him one last glance, surely full of your anger, you turned and left. He watched you with growing guilt as he thought about how you must have felt, watching him put himself into danger.

- - - -

No matter your anger at him, you had wanted to see him, to hold him, speak to him, it had hung over you for the rest of the day. So the first chance you got, you went to his apartment.

When he opened his apartment door, and you locked eyes, your feelings collided, and as your eyes welled up, you saw the guilt take over his features once more.

"Y/n-" He began, but you threw your arms around him.

He let out a breath and hugged you in return, pulling you inside and closing the door. When you pulled away, your anger swelled up, and you smacked him hard in the chest, making him wince.

"What were you thinking?!" You asked, anger lacing your voice, tears threatening to spill.

He hesitated, and placed his hands on either side of your arms. "I'm sorry, I know it was stupid, but I had to do it."

"Had to?" You questioned, clearly in disbelief.

He sighed. "I couldn't watch anyone else get hurt." His voice was soft, broken, and you felt your anger subside as you thought about Eddie, and how it had affected Buck.

"And what if I had to watch you get hurt?" You questioned, and as a tear slid down your cheek, you spoke again, softer. "I know your job is dangerous, you face death every week, but this was different Buck, it felt different...I thought I'd never see you again."

Buck frowned and pulled you into a hug, you pressed your face into his neck. "I'm sorry Y/n." He said softly. "I never want to put you through that. I just...I needed to be strong, for them, for Eddie. And I guess in my own stupid way, that meant putting myself at risk."

"That certainly seems to be your go-to reaction." You spoke with a soft hint of amusement, as you stepped away from him.

He looked down at you and smiled sadly. You brought your hand up and rested it on his cheek.

"Buck. Being strong doesn’t mean never asking for help or admitting you’re in pain. You don't always have to suffer in silence, or suffer alone. We are all hurting because of what happened, and we are all scared. Yes, you were there with Eddie when it happened. No it is not your fault, nor was it your job to stop it from happening, you couldn't have. Your reasoning for doing what you did came from your heart, but-" You brought your hands up and gently gripped his head "You need to use your brain sometimes too."

Buck smiled softly as he nodded, "I tend to forget it's there sometimes."

You let out a soft chuckle and shook your head. "You're an idiot, but I love you."

Buck smiled a bit brighter before pulling you closer, kissing you. It held a strong emotion behind it, guilt, fear, desperation.

Pulling away, his pressed his head against yours. "I love you too."

xx End xx

Short and sweet, wasn't really sure how to end it, but I hope you enjoyed. If you did please consider reblogging to share it with others!

xx

[wanderingwomanwondering]

Fire Captain Buck Meta - 413 & 601

In 413, a few minutes before the shooting Buck and Eddie rolled up to Charlie’s apartment in Bobby’s Captain SUV. The 133 was already on the scene. As Buck and Eddie approached the building, Captain Mehta jokingly asked Buck if he had been promoted. Buck hurriedly replied that it was the only vehicle available.

What happened happened and then we got a string of events that showed that even though Buck had not been promoted to Fire Captain at a firehouse, he absolutely had been promoted symbolically to Fire Captain in Eddie’s life. We got Buck hulking Eddie off the pavement and into the fire engine. We got Buck taking care of Chris when Eddie couldn’t. Eddie’s will reveal in the event of a deadly event. The tough love about Eddie needing to break up with Ana after his panic attacks. Buck trying to extinguish Eddie’s emotional fire when he was worried about Chris’ Christmas nightmares and being a bad father. Buck asked Eddie to stop pretending when he was clearly tired and running on empty because of all the trauma and lack of distractions to stave off the pain. Buck crossed town in a mad dash to answer Chris when he called. Buck broke down Eddie’s door when he struggled to open it himself. He soothed Chris’ fears for Eddie during that time as much as he could even though he himself was afraid for his friend and partner. Buck held space for Eddie and his deepest fears when he was in tears and grieving the loss of his fellow soldiers. He helped Eddie to see that he needed to do more than just attend therapy; he needed to participate and let therapy be a part of his healing fr. He took Chris to school and helped Chris with his homework and cleared the table after. He sat quietly and listened to Eddie fears about the randomness of their vocation. Then he helped Eddie to restore his lost sense of purpose. Evan Buckley has spent the last season (longer really) taking his place at Eddie’s side in a huge way. Fire (Co-)Captain. Managing the scene while Eddie’s old patterns burn away. Mitigating the fallout as much as possible. Saving what matters when some things that are on fire just have to burn. 

Now Buck wants to be considered for Interim Captain at the 118 while Bobby is on his honeymoon. But it’s not about that really. If the subtext of the 601 Buddipher dinner conversation and the subtext of 413 through season 5 have anything to say about it, s6 Fire Captain Buck is about Buck’s own traumas and struggles. About his sense of self and his worth. Maybe even about showing up for himself and going as hard for himself as he does for others. Eddie’s hurdle was similar. He put everything into Chris and forgot to take care of himself. Now Buck has to learn a similar lesson. How to not center his entire sense of himself inside other people’s thoughts, opinion’s and needs, no matter who those people are. That’s why Bobby told Buck that he had to figure out for himself if he’s at peace or not and decide to take care of himself. 

All of this for Buck is also about the way Eddie and Chris factor into his life. “What are you offering?” was Eddie’s question to him at dinner...what does Buck actively want FOR HIMSELF, not for others. He’s setting a whole new direction for himself - self improvement for his own sake. He’s not meant to spend his life as an Interim Captain at someone else’s firehouse. 

Something @stagefoureddiediaz said in a recent post about Buck and the temporary nature of the Interim Captain position made me think...At work Buck can be a Captain someday, equal to Nash and Mehta. In his personal life he can pinch hit for loved ones but beyond that...MORE than that he needs to show up as his full beautiful self and CHOOSE to stand at Eddie’s side officially and completely and with eyes wide open as to what he has to offer his beloved Buckley-Diaz Family and why HE wants to be there with them FOR HIMSELF. I know we talk a lot in the fandom about Eddie needing to choose and Buck needing to be chosen. Ultimately I think that’s still very true but Buck needs to know WHO he’s asking someone to choose which requires knowing himself better and making peace with who he is.

Because Buck’s life is so intertwined with Eddie and Chris his personal work is necessarily going to involve the Diazes. Just like Eddie’s personal work necessarily involved (and still involves) Buck. This season is gonna make me cry tears of EVERY kind, I just know it!

[creativeashproductions]

Change of Scenery // Evan Buckley

IN WHICH: Captain Bobby Nash has kept a secret from his friends, his wife and his step children since 2015 when he came to LA. Bobby’s eldest and only surviving child comes to LA to reconcile and make amends all the while she catches the eye of a certain blue eyed firefighter.

Warnings: Swearing, death/familial loss, pregnancy, blood, angst, injuries/medical emergency, and fluff

Words: 8k

A/N: Back at it with another 9-1-1 fic. Hope you enjoy, and I may just have to do another crossover with 9-1-1 and Julie and the Phantoms.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist

There are moments in our lives that define us, whether it can be known as a positive or negative, but the outcome is always the same. A six-letter word that strikes fear and excitement into the souls of humans is change. The fear can be for ourselves or as a result of a child, a sibling, or a parent branching out on their own. Unfortunately, you had gone through a harsh and cruel experience on a cold winter night in the city you grew up in.

A typical Thursday filled with classes at the college you attended in Minnesota on a scholarship, nothing out of the ordinary. The plan had been to drive to your parents’ apartment to catch up with them for the weekend. Saturday morning was already reserved for a girls day with your little sister Brook and your mom. In the afternoon, you’d promised to take your brother Bobby to the ball diamond.

Your bag was packed, the plan to drive straight from class to St. Paul the following day to arrive in the daylight. Your dad struggled with worry when it came to you driving in the dark and especially in winter with icy roads.

“Y/N!” Dottie screeched from the living room of the four-bedroom dormitory. The pretty and curvy brunette had been the first friend you made in college.

Typically Dottie was on the quieter side, so when she screamed, you practically sprinted to the girl.

“Where’s the fire?” You demanded with a smirk at the reference to a topic that was a constant in your family. 

The fire drills your father conducted every four months for an exit plan in case of a fire and general information to save yourselves. He had also trained you to remember fire hazards and how to call dispatch with clear information if that time ever came. It never did and hopefully never would.

“The Lakeview Apartments in St. Paul.” Dottie’s dark brown eyes spoke only of pity and concern. The five foot ten roommate literally caught you as you tumbled into her arms with a loud grief-stricken scream.

You were forever indebted to the brunette for the plans she sacrificed to drive you back to St. Paul. There was absolutely no chance Dottie would allow you to both drive and be alone with no news. The media hadn’t released the names of the 148 deaths the fire relentlessly tore from the land of the living.

“I want to prepare you for what you’ll see. Your mother suffered severe third-degree burns over the majority of her body.” The kind nurse, also one of your friend’s parent, explained as she guided you to the Burn Center in the Regions Hospital, “I don’t want to lie and tell you she’ll be fine. You’re an adult Y/N. You deserve the truth and not be coddled.”

“Is she gonna survive?” You quietly asked, “Has she woken up since she was brought in?”

“The doctor placed her on a high dosage of morphine for the pain. Your father hasn’t left her side.” Lucinda informed you with sympathy written as over her face, The hazel eyes unable to adequately meet yours.

“I’ll check on her, then could you take me to the rooms my siblings are in?” You asked, completely unaware Brook and Bobby had been DOA at the hospital.

Your father hadn’t answered the text messages or the voicemails you had left on his phone—radio silent. You couldn’t be mad when he was with your mom, but a text would have been nice.

“This is where your mother is staying for the unforeseeable future. If you need anything, you can call me.” Lucinda softly replied before turning her heel to head back to the Burn Centre’s front desk.

It was horrific walking into a room with no idea if the occupant who had raised you would survive. The confident, gorgeous mother you had for the past nineteen years was unfamiliar to you, the extensive gauze covering nearly every inch of her body. You almost couldn’t even recognize the man sitting in the chair with his hands wrapped. 

“Dad? What happened?” You questioned the grieving man. The only person left in your family as you would soon come to know.

“Y/N?” Bobby gasped, pushing himself to his feet, staring at his only living child. The guilt ate at him just staring at you with those light brown eyes, “Oh, sweetheart.”

Your dad crossed the room in a few steps. The scent of smoke was still clinging to every part of him, but it was fine. Your dad was okay, minus the wounds on his hands. You’d always been closer with your father than your mother.

“Dad, what happened?” You quietly asked the ashamed firefighter that had to reconcile his feelings on the fire and his career—that struggle ending up pushing you away when he really just wanted you as close as possible.

“The building caught on fire after an ember from a heater lit a blanket on fire,” Bobby informed you with his eyes pinned on his wife. Bobby knew the chances of Marcy surviving were incredibly low, and he had to tell you that.

Bobby only knew the details passed on from a firefighter who pitied the man who’d lost most of his family. 

“Is Mom gonna be okay?” You questioned, and the said injured woman in the bed weakly responded.

“Baby?” Marcy quietly questioned from her absolutely still position on the hospital bed, “Uh, Bobby.”

You left your father’s side to be as close to your mom as possible, with the clear plastic separating you for her safety. Your heart shattered at the sheer exhaustion in her pretty blue eyes. 

“Hi, Mom.” You shakily spoke with one hand lightly pressed against the plastic divider. You didn’t even notice when your dad stepped up too.

“Marcy?” Bobby called out from right beside you, just as torn up, but Bobby carried extra weight on his shoulders, “We’re right here, Marcy. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

The muffled grunt of pain, your mom’s attempt to save you from grief, Marcy let out as she turned her head to look at you. You knew deep in your gut that this was the time place you would see your mom alive. And by the look in her eyes, she knew too.

“The...kids…?” Your mom’s breathing became more erratic as she questioned the man she viewed as her hero. The man she believed had saved her and their youngest children, “Where...are they?”

“The kids are fine.” The way your father said it and the tears led to the knowledge once kept from you.

“No.” You whispered, seeing the total grief written clear on his face. The pain meds and agony kept your mom from knowing the truth.

“They’re safe.”

“I knew you’d come and save us.” Your mom breathed as her eyes started hiding the pretty blue you’d now only see in pictures. In your dreams, until even those faded as father time cruelly pulled you along.

Then your worst nightmare happened. You watched as the woman you looked up to flatlined with the thought of her children safe. You’d always know she’d held on just long enough to find out the state of her children. You could only hope she’d forgive your father for lying to her as she died.

“Mom!” You screamed, fighting the arms of an orderly restraining you. You barely noticed the resistance to your frantic attempts.

One minute you were staring at a team unsuccessfully trying to revive your long-gone mother, then you were in a hotel room. The atmosphere tense and quiet between father and daughter, with the ghost of your dead family to keep you both company. You could hear Brook gagging every time you’d kissed your now ex. You could see Bobby toddling after you years ago.

At least you had your father—a father whose guilt festered until he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“It was my fault.” He murmured, staring at the barely eaten burger that tasted solely just cardboard. He couldn’t bear to look at your face, “I didn’t mean to leave it on.”

Your head snapped to stare at him in disbelief, “What do you mean you didn’t mean to leave it on?”

“I-I went to the roof to sleep after your mom kicked me out. I didn’t have my keys to the apartment I had below ours.” Bobby began spilling the lies he’d told to you about his addictions. Of the apartment, you’d had no clue was even in his possessions.

The pain of losing your family tore into you, “You took my mom away from me. I’ll never get to share my wedding day with her. Shopping for a dress and gossiping about boys. I’ll never be able to wipe Brook’s tears during her first heartbreak.”

Each word broke Bobby more and more.

“You stole my future. You’re selfish, ungrateful and utterly pathetic. You cost so many people so much, all because you sought out your next high.” You spat, glaring at someone you’d never expected to hurt you. You didn’t notice your hands grabbing your possessions nor opening the hotel room door, “You couldn’t even properly try to get clean.”

“Y/N-”

“Get your shit together before you kill anyone else. I never want to see you again.” You sobbed with regret already festering in your body, but pride held you back from apologizing.

Upon your return to your dorm with Dottie by your side, you immediately began the process to enter an exchange program. Within a month, your feet entered Sydney Airport. You didn’t return to America for several years.

You took a job as a casual lifeguard on Bondi Beach, met Lucas in a meet-cute situation at the grocery store. You graduated college and found a job as a paramedic as you began becoming a flight paramedic. In 2020 Lucas and you discovered you’d be bringing in a little baby into the world.

Learning about your little Cashew growing safe in your womb fanned the flame of desire to reconcile. Ultimately the pride kept pushing the urge to apologize for the cruel words you told your father further away. You naively believed you had all the time in the world.  

Remember the six-letter scary word? If losing your mom, siblings, and father was a devastating blow, losing Lucas was nearly tied. Your little Cashew lost their father before they even got to meet him. That was push enough to pack up your home and fly back to America with your father’s new address as soon as you could.

In the fallout of the apartment fire, your father relocated from Minnesota to Los Angeles. 

Los Angeles, 2020

As soon as you’d found the nicest but cheapest hotel to stay in until you found a place, you walked the streets of LA. The first order of business of approaching your father at his workplace as you had no personal address. Residing still in Minnesota, Deputy Chief Evans had only given you the address of Bobby’s work.

You could only hope Bobby wouldn’t turn you away. That he was willing to bridge the gap, you’d widened over the years. That he could forgive the silence to each email, he sent when you changed numbers.

“We should go out to dinner.” The female voice was what brought you back to the present time. The woman was beautiful with her buzzed head and clear skin.

Right by her side was a dark-haired male of Asian ethnicity with a bag thrown over his shoulder, “If you’re paying, you bet I’ll be there.”

The two continued to converse in their own world until the man had to literally dodge you when they finally noticed you.

“Does Chief Bobby Nash work here?” You inquired, having no desire to enter small talk when the baby was sitting on your bladder again. You nearly retched when the man stared down at your swollen midsection, shocked, “It’s not his baby.”

Hen caught the evident disgust on your face, “He’s in his office. I’ll guide you there…”

“Y/N.” You supplied the firefighter. Hen smiled in response, “And your name is…”

“Henrietta Wilson, but you can call me Hen. That was Howard Han. He goes by Chimney, and I’ve been sworn to secrecy on the name.” Hen chuckled in her steps to the closed door of the fire chief. Hen swiftly knocked on the door to give Bobby a heads up.

“Come in!” Bobby called from his pile of paperwork he had pushed and waited to work on. It had slipped as the date came closer. Your twenty-seventh birthday, the seventh one since he last saw you.

“Cap, a woman is asking for you,” Hen told her friend and boss. It’s a good thing you didn’t choose to surprise your father because Hen was shorted, and your bump made manoeuvring around tricky.

“What can I do…” Bobby trailed off when he saw the girl waiting to talk to him. The pen in his hand dropped to the table in shock.

Hen glanced between the two equally taken aback individuals, “Am I missing something here?”

“Hey, dad.” You whispered to the man who’d been dreaming of this moment since the minute you left. He’d searched for you at your previous college and nearly made a missing person report.

“Dad?” Hen couldn’t pick her jaw up from the floor if she even wanted to because this was juicy information. Sure, Bobby had caved into telling his team, his family that he’d lost his wife and two children in a fire.

He rarely talked about his life before the 118, but he’d never mentioned having a surviving daughter. Not in the handful of times he’d talked about the tragedy, nor did he have any objects or photos of you. 

“You’re really here?” Bobby lightly chuckled with a twinkle in his eye. Hen had only seen a handful of times. All of them had Athena in the scene, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” You beamed, stepping closer to the man you’d missed dearly, “I’m so sorry for the way I left. What I said was cruel and untrue. You aren’t selfish, and I can’t blame you for something you couldn’t control.”

Bobby grinned. He’d stepped around his desk only to halt when he took in an undeniable development—the baby bump you carried.

“Is-”

“I’m pregnant. Six months along with a baby girl.” You laughed to the apparent disbelief in your father’s light brown eyes. His gaze continued to shift between the bump and your e/c eyes.

“Wow. Sorry, this is...wow.” 

“She’s one of the reasons I wanted to come back. To fix our relationship because I want her to know her grandpa. You’re the only grandparent Poppy will know.” Bobby was quick to tug you into his arms as soon as the first tear dropped down your cheek.

There was so much you wanted to tell your father, but that overwhelming grief rose higher. You’d left Australia where Lucas laid in a plot in a cemetery. You left the friends you’d found in the city. Left the lifeguard job you’d come to love.

“Where are you and your partner staying?”

“He...uh...Lucas passed away recently.”

The arms holding you tightened in response to your confession, “Oh sweetheart.”

“I didn’t know where else to go. I can’t stay in the home we bought. Not the place he died when I couldn’t save him.”

“I don’t know what happened, but it wasn’-”

“Don’t coddle me. I was...am a paramedic. A flight paramedic, to be specific, so I know that my hesitation could be the reason he died.”

Your career took the father by complete and utter surprise because you’d always planned on a different job. Before the fire that claimed so many lives, you’d never entertained a career in the emergency field.

“We have a lot to catch up on. First, you need to know that I’ll always love your mother no matter what, but you need to know. I met someone when I first moved here, and we were friends at first. She divorced her husband. We started dating...sweetheart, I remarried.”

A wave of emotions flared in your chest, from betrayal to sadness and ultimately happiness. Having lost your first love, you understood and knew if love came around for you, you wouldn’t ignore it. Lucas wouldn’t want that.

“I can’t wait to meet her.”

Re-entering into Bobby’s new life was a difficult adjustment for everyone included. Tension had risen between Athena and Bobby for a brief period. Athena hadn’t even been aware of your existence, but she could fault Bobby. Athena had even told her first husband about her late fiance Emmett when they were still together.

It was difficult for you with the new addition of two step-siblings in the same birth order as Brook and Bobby had been. The Grant siblings had welcomed you into the family without any reservations.

“Did you ever get to fly the chopper?” Harry asked as he scrubbed the dirty dish from the Sunday family dinner. 

It was the first dinner that had no awkward tension since you arrived back in the country. Athena had taken a bit to warm up, but it was nothing personal. She’d actually been the one to find you you’d been staying at a hotel. Mama Athena did not like her pregnant step-daughter living at a hotel. She’d actually stormed your room with Hen and Karen as back up to pack your room and leave for the Grant-Nash house.

“No. I had to help keep the patients alive. If I’m telling the truth...sometimes I didn’t even notice I was in the air.” You whispered to your stepbrother. He was just invested in your career as he had been when Bobby first entered their lives.

“That is so cool!” Harry enthused with soap suds splashing your thin knitted sweater. Harry’s mouth formed an ‘o’ when you flicked water onto his face in retaliation.

“Do you know Bondi Beach in Australia?” You inquired the youth with the chore of dishes completed.

“Yeah! There’s a tv show called Bondi Rescue! I watch the clips on YouTube!” Harry exclaimed, hot on your heels to the couch. Out of May and Harry, he followed you around with questions about your life in Australia.

“I was a casual lifeguard. I’m not featured on that show, but I would get called in when a lifeguard was needed. It paired well with my job as a flight paramedic.” You half-smiled, remembering the Bondi lifeguards who had welcomed you into the family. You became one of them when they started pranking you.

“Did you ever see a shark-”

“Harry, go brush your teeth. Leave Y/N alone.” Athena informed her youngest from the open patio doors. Your father, Athena and May had been outside as soon as the table had been cleared.

“But-”

“Harry,” Athena warned the youngest Grant. Harry didn’t attempt to argue with his stern mother; all he did was hug you quickly. You watched the young boy disappear into the hallway.

“He reminds you of your little brother?” Athena questioned. In your time of reminiscing, the older woman had settled in Harry’s previous position.

“A little.” You whispered, “Thank you for welcoming me into the family. For making my dad happy.”

“You know I may have some baby clothes put away if you’d like to use them?” Athena offered with that smile that made you feel at home. Athena was far different from your late mother, with her presence commanding respect and intelligence. Your mom was similar, but I suppose it could be described as a softer touch.

“Anyway, saving a penny is appreciated. I have a question for you also.” You hesitantly started with a bundle of nerves deep in your belly. Athena turned to give you her full attention.

“Well? Out with it.” Athena pushed, but she had a slight feeling of what you were about to ask her.

“My mom was one the strongest women I know. It hurts that my baby won’t get to experience her love and guidance, and you can say no. We’ve only known each other a short time, but would you consider...maybe being a grandma to my baby?”

Giddy was the feeling Athena developed along with the laughing smile that only came from happiness. The woman could only nod her head in response to your hesitant question. To Athena’s knowledge but not yours, Bobby was softly smiling, watching his formerly estranged daughter getting along with your stepmom.

“Oh!” You gasped as your baby kicked hard enough for her foot imprint to be seen through your knitted sweater. 

Bobby was by your side in concern the second he heard your startled sound, but Athena wasn’t that concerned. Athena remembered having the same reaction.

“Are you okay?” Bobby frantically questioned. He faltered when the woman shared a belly-deep laugh at the sheer fear written in the seasoned firefighter’s eyes.

“Poppy was kicking.” You chuckled as your father’s shoulders dropped in relief, “Here.”

Your nimble fingers clasped around your father’s wrist to bring his palm to the spot Poppy was kicking. A certain lightness flooded your entire body, being capable of sharing this experience with Bobby. Watching tears well up in the grandpa to be’s brown eyes.

“Whoa.” Bobby breathlessly spoke as Poppy kicked against his palm. The feeling building in his was exhilarating with the small amount of grief mixed in, “I remember when your mom was pregnant with you. We didn’t know if we were having a girl or boy, but she was adamant you would be a kickboxer. So active.”

Athena watched as the relationship between father and daughter started healing directly in front of her eyes. The Sergeant was about to give you two some privacy when you caught her hand in your free one.

“Here.” You informed the older woman shifting to place her hand where your father’s hand had previously been. Your e/c eyes sought the wonder-filled different shades of brown eyes the couple had.

“You should get some sleep,” Athena spoke, staring at her hand resting on your bump. Her dark chocolate brown rising to find your gaze, “You won’t be getting a lot once she arrives.”

Bobby and Athena watched as you turned the corner to the spare room Athena’s parents used when they visited. For the time being, you’ve moved into the room, and the Grant-Nash house hoped you would stay. May had always wanted a sister, and Harry loved all the stories you told about Australia.

“You know, at some point, you’ll have to talk to her.”

“I just was-’

“-without anyone else being the buffer. Bobby, both your lives is evidence enough that some things are too trivial to stress over.” Athena pinned her stern gaze on her husband. The same husband is actively trying to avoid her penetrating gaze.

“What I did-’

“Is in the past, Bobby. You have a second chance with that wonderful woman in that bedroom and our grandchild. Now, are you sure that having the party at the firehouse is okay?”

A hand supported the base of your back where an ache tended to stay for most of the day. That ache wasn’t the worst symptom of your pregnancy. You had heartburn constantly that tied with unfortunate constipation that had thankfully lessened. Your purse always had a cardigan for the hot flashes as well.

“Perfect! May has my car, and Bobby needed that.” Athena beamed from the open bay of the 118. One of the firefighters, Eddie, if you recalled, snagged your purse and the specific ingredient for a recipe.

“You could have borrowed Bobby’s-”

“His vehicle is in the shop Buck.” Athena interrupted the only member of the 118 you had let to officially meet.

Now there were two suspects of the sudden shortness of breath you started experiencing. It could be Poppy in the limited space in your body or the handsome firefighter. Buck had to be hands down none of the most attractive men you’d ever encountered. His dark blonde hair had minimal height, but the soft waves made your fingers itch to feel it. His ocean blue eyes crinkled at the corners with mirth.

“Ah, so you’re flesh and blood of Cap?” Buck questioned from in front of you. His blue eyes centred solely on you, with half a mind thanking himself that he could navigate the station blindfolded in the dark.

“For the last twenty-seven years, I have been.” You retorted, stopping at the edge of the stairs to the apparatus. Your keen sense of smell catching one of your favourite meals your father had dug up from the recipes he hadn’t used in years.

A zing of electricity trailed off your arm when a calloused palm met yours. Your e/c eyes followed the path of tan skin until it reached the shirt sleeve of Buck’s t-shirt. The shirt emblazoned on the chest with the department’s insignia. The man in the casual uniform guided you safely up the stairs with his hand on your back.

The pressure of Buck’s hand on your aching back muscle nearly brought what would be an embarrassing moan from your lips. Thankfully a gasp of surprise fell out instead at the banner hanging with other decorations.

“What?” You choked, cupping your hands to your face. Pure unadulterated shock and affection flooded every inch of you.

The entire 118 squad intermixed with their loved ones surrounded the open area with grins. On a table behind everyone was many wrapped gifts. But the cake was the most impressive.

A large rectangular cake in the realistic shape of a fire engine parked in front of a fire hydrant with a fondant hose going to the truck. On top of the fire truck was the turnout boots next to the matching helmet, the 118 proudly on it. You adored the turnout coat draping off the top to hang off the side.

“If you look at the helmet, it says Poppy.” Buck enthused, guiding you even closer to catch the immaculate cake, “It has to be the best cake we’ve gotten from them.”

“Hey, my rebar head cake was phenomenal!” Chimney called with a belying grin on his face. His hand encased by a brunette woman about his height with her heels on.

“It’s a long story.” Buck offered as soon as you gave him a weird questioning look, “Let me introduce you to everyone!”

For the next five minutes, you spend it by meeting the family of 118, including Eddie’s completely adorable son. Christopher was happy to sit next to you as soon as Harry had found you. Slowly the others came closer to hear the stories.

“What’re the most common injuries on the beach?” Denny, Hen and Karen’s ten-year-old son questioned.

“Bluebottle Jellyfish stings. On one day, we had hundreds of people come to the tower for stings, and the treatment for the minor ones is stingose spray and ice.”

“My question is how a girl from Minnesota is a lifeguard in Australia. Especially on Sydney’s most dangerous beach.” Chimney inserted, waving his bottle of pop at you, his eyes kept moving towards the wine Maddie brought.

Unfortunately, the 118 wouldn’t be celebrating with the wine until their shifts ended in a few short hours. It was a damn miracle they hadn’t been called out yet.

“This former Minnesotan spent summers at my best friend’s parents’ place in Cali as a lifeguard. Also, Bondi is not the most dangerous beach in Sydney. That’s Tamarama.” You pointed towards the man who raised his hands in surrender.

“Have you ever seen a dead body?” Harry asked, bringing a sobering silence in the question’s wake.

Your body language changed as soon as he asked, “Unfortunately, I’ve seen death as a paramedic and as a lifeguard.”

“You’re a paramedic? I thought you were just a lifeguard?” Buck asked, interested in the new information. Buck could feel his Captain’s eyes on the back of his head; he was sure Bobby could smell the attraction on Buck.

“Casual lifeguard. Called when needed as a backup.” You turned your e/c eyes towards the arguably youngest member of the 118.

“How many dead-”

“Harry.” Athena warned her son from continuing a topic that killed the ease and happiness you’d shown previously, “Why don’t we stop talking about-”

“Too many, Harry.” You interrupted your stepmom with a gentle smile towards the woman, “It’s not just drowning that claims lives but also the cliffs surrounding the beaches. Lifeguards patrol more than the beaches and water. Lifeguards respond to medical emergencies, mostly spinal until the paramedics arrive.”

“Oh-”

“I had a fellow lifeguard leave the job because of the suicides we deal with.”

“...who wants cake?” Karen used the quiet interlude of the much too serious topic for a group of kids barely in the double digits of ages. All referenced children followed Hen’s life to the beautiful baked creation.

“Sorry for getting dark there.”

“We all know the dark side of the jobs we chose to do. You sound like you miss Australia. Are you going to return there?” Eddie questioned with one eye pinned on his son, consuming more sugar than he wished.

Eddie’s question did raise self-doubt, but you knew that ultimately living in Australia was no longer a viable option. 

“There’s nothing there for me.”

Eddie, Buck and your father understood that mentality to a ‘t’ with family complications keeping them away. Your father for obvious reasons, whereas Eddie and Buck each had a living family with opinions only they saw right.

“You’re always welcome here. Especially when you bring that little cutie to the firehouse.” Maddie cooed towards your baby bump. The 911 dispatcher had asked many questions about your pregnancy.

 Maddie was the type of person who could make a stranger feel like they had known for their entire lives.

“Here.”

A plate of the cake was thrust in front of your face courtesy of Maddie’s brother Buck. It is quite literally the perfect size you could ask for. In his other hand, he had a new bottle of water waiting for you to grab.

“Thank you, Buck.” Your shock must have shown in your voice when his cheeks flushed.

“This whole party is a celebration for you, so you shouldn’t have to get up...unless you want to!” Buck rushed to respond, getting more flustered with the amused look of his older sister on him, “You’re already doing something absolutely amazing, so you should get to rela-”

“Buck!” You laughed, ending the older man’s rambling thoughts. The entire party attendees had started watching Buck’s failed smooth attempt.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Buck mutely nodded in response, “No prob-”

The bell was the one to interrupt him instead. The on-duty firefighters rushed down from the upper levels to the lockers. The swift suiting up impressed you as it was like you blinked, and the bay was empty.

“Should be the last call before they get off shift.” Maddie, still occupied with the cake she was eating, “That wine looks so good!”

Your attention snapped from the vacant spots the 118 vehicles parked to the woman ploughing down on the cake. Sure it was good, but not that good. Maybe you could tell as a pregnant woman, or perhaps you just caught some of the symptoms you felt.

“How far along are you?”

Maddie froze, “What are you talk-”

“You’re pregnant, right?”

“Don’t tell anyone. Chim and I found out recently, but we want to wait on telling people. Once the first trimester is over, everyone can know.” Maddie pleaded with two hands cupped under her chin in a prayer position. The pretty brunette using the puppy dog eyes on the new friend she’d made.

“You should tell Buck-”

“We will once we enter the safe zone. So tell me about your baby’s father.” Maddie swiftly changed the subject, unaware of the ache developing in your midsection.

“Lucas Gowan.” You mussed, recalling the freckled half Australian half Scots man with the thick red locks.

“Ooh, is he still in Australia?”

“Technically, he is. I met him at the grocery store near the university campus. I’d transferred to escape my grief. It was purely an attraction at first sight before developing into love at first sight. We convocated and moved into a cosy little place. We’d only just found out about the baby when Lucas passed away.”

As you told Maddie, your hand had moved to cradle the only remaining piece of Lucas. 

“His death was unexpected and sudden. He’d taken a run the morning of our scan to find out baby Gowan’s gender. He fell off the side of the cliff. I was told he died instantly. The investigator believes his shoelace untied, and he stepped on it. Fell right off the side.”

“I’m so sorry.” Maddie breathed, leaning closer to hold your hands in her own, “He’d be so proud of you. For returning to the states. Do you keep in contact with his family?”

“He was an only child. Parents died in a car accident when he was ten years old. He was in foster care until he aged out of the system. Poppy is named after his mom.”

Maddie instinctively knew talking about Lucas was, “You know you get along pretty well with Buck... I’ve never seen him so flustered.”

“Maddie, I can tell you are a very intelligent woman, but you’re wrong here. Why would a guy like Buck be interested in a pregnant woman with a reconciling relationship with her father and his Captain while grieving her baby’s dad?”

Maddie tilted her head to the side, “Because I know my brother. He’s only ever had that look when I first moved to LA. Back when Abby was still important to him.”

“We’ll just have to agree to disagree.”

Maddie’s mouth opened to speak, but you were saved by the bell when Athena called you over for pictures. Then her attempts got thwarted once more when the 118 returned to the house perfectly synced to the end of shift.

“Driving here was the last time until the baby’s here. You’ve got precious cargo-”

“I’m seven months pregnant; I can still drive. There’s no law saying I can’t-”

Never argue with Athena Grant-Nash, “It may not be illegal, but I won’t endanger my daughter or my granddaughter.”

“I have to get to my OB/GYN appointment tomorrow. You and Dad each have a long shift during my scheduled appointment. Harry is both too young to drive and in school. May has a shift at dispatch. There’s literally no one available to take me.”

Bobby watched as two of the most important women in his life argued over something as trivial as driving. Harry shook at listening to someone fighting against his mother; she could be terrifying.

“I can take her.”

Everyone in the fir house turned to the voice who’d offered suddenly and found the sheepish form of a tall firefighter. Eddie’s eyebrows raised at his best friend.

“I don’t work tomorrow. I’ve got no plans. Albert’s got some date with a girl at her place.”

“I couldn’t put you out.”

“You need a ride, and I’ll be bored, so why not take my new friend to her baby doctor.”

“Baby doctor?” Hen parroted to her wife in astonishment towards her coworker and close friend. Both the women found the blatant flirting from Buck to the soon to be mother.

“She’ll take you up on the offer. She’s staying in our guest room. Come early for breakfast before you go. We’ll be having waffles.”

Buck found any excuse to visit the Grant-Nash home with the motive to hang out with you ever since the baby shower. From delivering baked goods from your favourite bakery to insisting on driving you to appointments. Didn’t matter if Athena or Bobby could take you; Buck was adamant he drove you.

The friendship was easy going and very natural, like a ball glove still moulded perfectly to your hand. The hangouts in your home evolved to weekly visits to restaurants with guidelines to the current event happening worldwide. 

Ultimately it even led to a test date.

“You look breathtaking.” Buck breathlessly informed you once he’d gently pushed your chair closer to the table.

“Thank you.” You kindly responded despite thinking the complete opposite to the charming man sitting across from you.

Athena and May had helped you get ready for the date with calming words on how going on a date so far into the pregnancy was okay. Then, your father had tentatively inserted himself with sage advice on re-entering the dating scene.

“I thought we could grab some ice cream after,” Buck spoke up as soon as the waiter had taken your drink order. Buck had decided to refrain from alcohol and went with glasses of lemonade and water.

“You shouldn’t say that. I’ll just want ice cream.” You snickered, caressing the taut belly you’d grown to love. In fact, the firm push of a heel announced Poppy’s agreement with ice cream as dessert.

“How is Poppy?”

“The doc says she’s right on track. Healthy all around and in the position, she’s supposed to be at this stage.” Buck adored the affectionate smile that always appeared when the topic of your pregnancy was brought up.

“That’s amazing! Bobby gushes about you and Poppy. The fridge has an entire door dedicated to sonograms of Poppy. Even a few from that maternity shoot Hen and Maddie surprised you with.”

A few weeks had passed since the baby shower the 118 had surprised you with. Maddie had announced her pregnancy to the joy of the chosen family she had. Bobby had put together a crib he had painted. Michael, Athena’s ex-husband, had started making plans for adding on to the house for a room for the baby.

Despite informing the architect, you planned on moving out when you had saved enough, he’d made a sound argument. Athena would want a place for the baby to stay when you visited, or the woman demanded to babysit.

Now you found yourself in a National forest not far from Los Angeles, posing in front of nature. A surprise photoshoot Hen and Karen had organized with Karen’s brother Trey. Maddie and Athena had been the ones who drove you.

“Hold the teddy bear on your bump,” Trey informed you from behind his professional and intimidating camera. The photographer praised you in the rapid movement to listen to his offer.

“Hey! Maddie! You should take a few photos. I need a pee break.” You didn’t wait for Maddie to respond in your rush to the somewhat rustic bathroom hut.

By the time you returned, Maddie was taking a couple pictures. Then you took some with Athena to have on the nursery walls and for Bobby to have a photo for his desk.

“Now one with all three of you.”

Present

“So a daredevil.” You stated unsurprised that the firefighter had a history of recklessness. You don’t go into firefighting without a taste for danger.

“The bruises and blood fit better than the awful bleached hair during my time in Peru.” Buck laughed, recalling the questionable choice in his fashion pre-firefighting. Sometimes he missed the people he encountered in his period of self-discovery.

“You didn’t wear puka sh-”

“I did. Bleached hair, puka shells and Hawaiian shirts were my staples during my bartending years. I fit in with the aesthetic of the bar I tended.”

“Buck!” You nearly gasped at his raw honesty. Buck didn’t hold back any answers to your questions, but you each strayed from the topic of family.

Talking about the tragic family history wasn’t a good idea on the first time regardless of the time you’d known each other.

“You’re telling me-” Buck halted as soon as he caught the flash of discomfort flicker over your beautiful features, “Are you okay?”

“She shifted. Been sitting on my blad-” You cut yourself off with a hiss of pain. Buck’s eyes widened at the pain taking over your features, “Oh, that hurt.”

Buck went straight into work mode, “Have you been in pain for long?”

“No. A few cramps here and there today, but my doctor said it was nothing to worry about.” You informed the experienced first responder resting level to your knees.

Buck didn’t want to say it, but he was sure that you’d gone into early labour. There was no indication your water had broken, but he kept over the last hour together. Every once in a while, you shifted or pressed a hand to your bump.

“Has your water broken?”

You shook your head, “No, but...oh... that’s not a cramp.”

With that statement out, you clenched your fingers tight on the edge of the table as pain rippled in your belly. A contraction that stole your breath momentarily. In your contraction, Buck had dialled 911. Buck recalled that sometimes a woman’s water doesn't break until right before the birth.

“We’re not getting that ice cream, are we?” You snorted upon being lifted onto the gurney. How fortunate or unfortunate you were to have the 118 right there.

Hen had taken a position at your feet to check on your lower body while Chimney took your vital signs. You honestly didn’t like the look Hen and Chimney shared with Buck.

“What is it?”

“We’re gonna need to deliver here.” Hen sighed, giving you the facts that terrified you. When you envisioned having the baby, it was in a medical centre. Not in a restaurant.

“My office is large and away from the crowd if you want. I can show you the way.” Sophie, the restaurant manager, offered already starting to lead the way. Sophie would never know how thankful you felt for being able to have privacy.

“Okay, Y/N, is it okay if I check how dilated you -.” Hen breathed with her hand, gently disappearing until the thin blanket Chimney procured from the stocked ambulance, “Y/N when I saw I want you to do that.”

Hen didn’t need to check your dilation when she could see the baby’s head already.

“I’m right here.” Buck cooed in your ear. He had held your hand as his coworkers did their jobs around you.

“This isn’t the way I envisioned you seeing my pu-”

“Push.” Hen urged, cutting off your almost vulgar language, but it eased the tension in the small restaurant office. You couldn’t even see Buck’s flustered reaction as you bore down with the contraction, “Good! Take a breath.”

“You’re a strong woman. It never ceases to amaze me the strength women have.” Buck spoke, keeping your e/c eyes on his blue ones. His hand raised to push a strand of your sweaty hair off your temple.

“Once more push!” Hen called out just in time with the last contraction. The feeling of the pressure between your legs popping was moan inducing.

Poppy was silent. Your entire body froze, yearning for the sweet sound of crying instead of the eerie silence. The world stood still as Chimney worked on your baby girl.

“Pulse is strong,” Chimney announced, keeping his attention on the task of clearing Poppy’s throat and nose. And that sweet sound of crying commenced, “Congratulations Y/N, you have a beautiful baby girl. Let’s get you to the hospital.”

Your father beat the ambulance to the nearest ER in pure anticipation at meeting his granddaughter Poppy Nash Gowan. He barely noticed as Buck stuck to your side like glue. Bobby waited outside the door as you got checked over in the room.

“Quite the first date.” You mused towards Buck, who hovered in awe over the life form you had carried for nine months. You’d been pregnant for three quarters of an entire year to his fascination. 

“All my meaningful relationships started with a medical emergency.” Buck finally looked up at you. He’d kept Poppy company in the bassinet while you delivered the afterbirth upon entering the hospital.

“Seriously?”

“Had a tracheostomy on Valentine’s Day with Abby, an earthquake with Ali and a newscaster in a crashed helicopter.” Buck listed off. He hadn’t even noticed scooping the newborn into his arms until he’d sat in the chair by your bed, “Why not add a sudden labour and delivery.”

“He would have liked you.”

The sentence came out of absolutely nowhere. Almost like something had ripped it out of your vocal cords. At the look of confusion, you elaborated.

“Lucas. He would have liked you. I think if it is possible, he might have pushed me into meeting you. I’ll still need to take it slow, but I’d like to give this a shot.”

That was all Buck needed to lean in closer to kiss you—the first of many kisses.

Some might disagree on how quick your relationship with Buck developed, but they didn’t know yours at all. It was natural with the firefighter who stepped into the role of father figure for a growing Poppy. By the time Poppy was one, you’d moved into a house not far from your father’s place with Buck. By the time Poppy was three, a pretty ring had sat on your finger. By five, the young girl had a baby brother. 

“Your parents spoil Poppy.”

“You say that like you didn’t crawl into her crib during her afternoon naps.” You deadpanned towards your husband. Buck had the nerve to sheepishly grin, “You give in each time she says ‘pwetty pwease’ for a cookie.”

“It’s a crime to make her sad!” Buck defended himself, but a grin of amusement threatened his act, “Besides, you crack each time too!”

“Mhm. Just wait until Theo can talk.” You pressed a kiss to the sleeping infant strapped into the baby carrier. Theodore Robert Buckley could fall asleep in a thunderstorm if he was in Buck’s arms.

“Oh! Maddie wants to have Poppy over for a play date. Madster’s been begging for her cousin to have a sleepover.”

Maddie and Chimney’s daughter was only a few months younger than your daughter, but the two were thick as thieves. Buck had referred to the Han daughter as Madster with how similar her mannerisms were to her mother.

“Think they’d take the rascal?”

“Is this code for you wanting to have another?” Buck questioned with a twinkle of mischief in his blue eyes. The same blue Theo had inherited along with a birthmark like Buck’s on his bicep.

“I-” You choked, blinking furiously, “Evan, I pushed Theo out of my body barely three months ago!”

Buck inconspicuously winked in response with the sudden scream of excitement coming from Poppy. The rambunctious five-year-old ploughed into Buck’s legs full force. Falling into the practised ease, you’d unstrapped Theo from Buck’s chest and promptly had his tiny body stolen into his grandpa’s arms.

“There’s my boy.” Bobby cooed to the sleep drunk tiny infant. The little baby is crowded by his Gram Athena and Aunt May, “Gonna have to get you a Minnesota Wilds jersey.”

“Hell no. That boy is LA born and bred. He’ll be wearing a Kings jersey like the civilized.” Michael announced with the sudden arrival of Theo and Poppy’s Uncle Harry.

“Mommy? When are we going to Stralia?” Poppy inquired from right beside your leg. Her tiny handheld is the giant one of her dad.

“In a few weeks. Are you excited to see the mommy’s old friends again?”

“Hm. Can we see Dada?”

Buck may be Poppy’s father, but he’d never let Poppy go without knowing she had two fathers in all. Her first one waiting to meet here decades from the time she was born and solely referenced Lucas as Dada. Buck was grateful for the man who brought Poppy into existence; the little green-eyed tot Buck could never regret. Unlike Buck’s parents keeping his older brother’s existence a secret, the firefighter refused to follow in their footsteps. He’d continue to shower the late Lucas in gratitude and respect. He refused to make the same mistakes as Phillip and Margaret Buckley.

“Of course. C’mon Poppy, time to say goodbye.” Buck guided the little girl to the extended family showering her little brother with love. The little girl was quickly swung into Bobby’s arms, and Athena cooing at your infant son.

Changes. The six-letter word doesn’t have to be terrifying. It can be breathtaking, memorable and beautiful to experience. 

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