#body will not physically allow me to sleep more than 8 hours these days but i know 8 hours isnt enough for me so idk!!

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

Things You Should Prioritize In Your Resting Season

Heyyy babes<3 I'm surprised I never made this blog post I was looking back at my resting season post that a lot of you love and realized I never listed activities that could optimize your resting season so here It is<3. 

♡ Journaling. My favorite form of journaling that I talked about in ‘Building A Productive Routine And Being Consistent’  is gratitude journaling I always start my day with a gratitude prompt. You can do regular journaling as well. Journaling is a great way to let out your emotions. I prefer the pen and paper method I connect more than when I use my laptop.

♡ Mood Tracker. The app I use is Daily Bean the app allows you to track your emotions every day and shows you a diagram of your emotions for the overall week, month, and year. It does have a journaling feature as well I don't use it but if you prefer digital journaling I recommend it.

♡ Reading. Start reading self-help books I have listed many recommendations in ‘Reinvent Yourself In 2024’. Reading can help give you a lot of insight and allow you to learn new things. There are so many books on so many different topics find books that relate to the issues you face, read, and implement the teachings into your life. When I'm not reading self-help books I love romance books so much I'm forever a lover girl lol.

♡ Listen to podcasts. Start listening to podcasts that you relate to and actually find interesting. there are so many great podcasts out there. The podcasts I listen to usually focus on self-improvement, femininity, fitness, and mental/physical health. My favorite podcaster is Leo Skepi he is so real I don’t agree with all of his takes but I agree with most of them. I also love Hailey Gamba her YouTube channel is definitely a must-watch.

♡ Hobbies. Write out a list of hobbies that interest you and give them a try. Give yourself time to see what works and what doesn’t. I've learned so much about myself through hobbies and most of the hobbies I have are related to my goals and of course, some are not. Hobbies are a great way to get yourself out there and make new friends as well.

♡ Solo dates. Take yourself out once a month. It is super important to date yourself babes<3. Spending alone time with yourself is beneficial. You can do at-home solo dates as well. Here is a list of solo date ideas.

♡ Eating Cleaner. You are what you eat is so real! I'm not gonna get too deep into the science behind your gut health and brain health and how they are connected. But watch the two videos created by Andrew Huberman ‘Food And Emotions’ ‘Sugar And Your Brain’. Eating cleaner is good for your overall health. You can still eat out and processed food but an 80/20 lifestyle is key babes!

♡ Sleeping Routine. You can tell by now I love Andrew Huberman (Daddy Huberman) because again I'm going to drop some gems from him. He states that you should try and get a consistent amount of hours of sleep rather than trying to force yourself to get 8 hours of sleep every night. Try creating a sleep schedule my days start at 5:30am so I usually fall asleep at the earliest 8pm or the latest 11pm because I know getting 6-8 hours of sleep is best for me and keeps me going throughout the day. Everyone's body is different do what works for you. Video Link 

You don’t have to do the things that I have listed above if they do not fit into what you require from your resting season. I hope you loved this post babes check for this week’s affirmations<3.

[bittertomato]

Your Throne headcanons

Main Cast:

In the beginning without Psyche’s healing, Medea (in Psyche’s body) had to put up with muscle aches in places she forgot she could feel fatigue. She ignores the aches through sheer power of will (as she does) but resolves to do a few light exercises every day to build up her stamina and strength—even before asking Eros for swordfighting lessons—in case she had to live as Psyche forever.

Psyche comments about this after switching back to her body, thanking Medea now that it feels like “her lungs can actually expand and breathe more easily.”

Horseback riding was one of the other skills that Psyche requested to learn after switching back to her own body. It’s how she knew how to ride a horse after stealing Helio's when the wall collapsed.

Psyche is so “short and demure” because her growth was stunted from being locked in a box as a child whenever she was punished for misbehaving. Otherwise, her actual height might have been closer to 165 cm (5’5).

Does the Your Throne world have coffee? Anyway Medea is a (black) coffee addict and Psyche is a tea bitch.

Psyche thinks black coffee tastes like Eros—bitter. Medea demands Psyche to never compare her lifeblood to trash ever again.

Eros has a natural “masculine” scent that most girls would swoon for but Medea finds revolting. Since learning about his true colors, being too close to him actually gives Psyche minor headaches because of how pungent his body odor is.

Helio smells like depression.

Pain tolerance from greatest to least: Medea -> Helio -> Eros -> Perion -> Psyche. This is mostly because Psyche’s body is the least resilient to stress, since she’s the least physically fit. And also because the first two are too used to killing their feelings.

However, all of these idiots are highly likely to cut off their own limb if the situation calls for it. Medea and Helio if their cold logic deems it necessary (Helio especially for Medea). Eros has the same cold logic. You can’t tell me Psyche “I’ll stop Helio from stabbing himself with my own hand” and “Dying is scary but I’ll stop my own heart to prevent Eros from killing Medea” Callista wouldn’t treat her own body with little regard. And Perion canonically stabbed his own eye.

Average hours of sleep per night: Medea = 4 (she takes short naps during the day), Helio = 6, Eros = 7, Perion = 7, Psyche = 10 pre-body switch, 8 after returning to her own body.

Medea doesn’t get sick often, and when she does it’s usually something mild that goes away within a few days. But one time when she’s finally allowed to relax and breathe for a minute without Eros, her family, or even the public breathing down her neck, her immune system completely tanks and she gets the worst cold of her life. It’s so bad that she has a fever dream where she wakes up as a reincarnated villainess betrothed to Eros, is being courted by Helio, Perion, and Psyche, and even has relatively loving parents, but all she wants to do is cultivate her farming skills in the inevitable outcome that Eros dumps her for Psyche and banishes her from the kingdom.

No, Medea has never heard of My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! or whatever a Bakarina is that’s why it’s a fever dream.

Psyche (in Medea’s body) kissed Helio on the balcony in the only way she knew how: based on how Eros used to make out with her. It was not a pleasant realization for either Psyche or Helio.

Even with her lack of diverse experience, Psyche is a better kisser than Eros. She learns fast.

When Psyche reveals what happened on the balcony to Medea, Medea just scoffs and offhandedly comments that Helio likes it rough. Psyche chooses not to ruminate about that for too long.

On a similar note, whether or not Medea has actually explicitly mentioned the ch. 122 discourse yes I’m bringing that up, Psyche had a hunch that that would’ve happened while Medea was in her body; considering Psyche and Eros probably did it together after they became engaged. It’s part of the reason why she was so devastated during the body switch, before the women reconciled. But after learning how Eros never loved her, Psyche just feels awful that Medea had to act through such a vulnerable situation.

Supporting Cast:

Dekis, like Nana (bless her soul), is happy that Medea at least has a friend who isn’t trapped in a sense of tragic worship like Helio is. He hopes his sister can continue to build healthier relationships, with new and existing acquaintances.

Thanks to living on his own and developing some life skills, one of them being cooking, Dekis will help out in the kitchen sometimes. The servants were initially against their master doing menial labor, but their worries quickly dissolved. They even share some secrets about Medea’s preferences, to Medea’s amusement.

Along with the books gifted to him, Lira took the rabbit Psyche saved back to his family. They now take care of it as their own pet.

Lynn still reports back to Medea even after Psyche and Medea reconcile. Except instead of plotting to ruin Psyche’s life, now Medea is content with mundane updates like whether Psyche is feeling well or what food she ate or—cringe—how Psyche handled another one of Eros’ visits. Lynn is 100% ??? about the sudden change of heart but doesn’t have the guts to ask her very-scary original employer.

[cookie-waffle]

You know what I realized? Humans are the pitbulls of primates.

Allow me to elaborate.

Pitbulls are not inherently aggressive at all. They’re strong and have the potential to do a lot of damage. but they’re actually the second most tolerant dog breed in the world, just under golden retrievers. They’re loving, playful, and gentile. The whole “baby eating pitbull” thing only happens when the dog is raised in an extremely stressful environment. And because they are so strong, a stressed pit will do way more damage than many other breeds.

That’s exactly how humans are, too. Despite what many think, we are docile animals. Unlike chimps, we prefer to use reasoning to settle conflicts instead killing and eating the other person. We go out of our own way to defy nature and HELP other species survive along with us, even if that species is a dangerous apex predator that can eat us. We managed to befriend wolves so closely to the point where some of their brains evolved to better communicate with us and live with us in symbiosis. We are not a big scary boogieman that destroys all in our path, we are love. We are compassion. No other creature ever discovered on Earth has the same capacity for good. Even dolphins, who are often credited for having being very intelligent and having a high amount of empathy, are fucking assholes and don’t actually have a concept of morality. They’ll torture weaker animals for fun and think nothing of it. They’ll even use dead fish as sex toys and grab female dolphins with their weird bendy dicks against their will. When I say no animal has the compassion of a human, I mean it.

But like the pittbull, we have the potential to do a LOT of damage. We aren’t exactly physically strong compared to many other animals, but we are so smart that we don’t need to be strong to seriously hurt others. And also like the pitbull, when in an extremely stressful environment, we flip out. Things like capitalism, poverty, bigotry, money, beauty standards, and so much more create a very unfit conditions for humans to comfortably live it. And not only that, but many common cultural practices go directly against our instincts as humans. We are not supposed to be strictly monogamous, we are not supposed to live in entirely separated family units. Children need to be raised in a community, we need several periods of sleep throughout the day, our bodies are not evolved to do work for 8-12 hours several days in a row every single week. We are not supposed to stop playing in our teens/adulthood. Our brains still think we need to constantly eat to survive, and the food industry takes heavy advantage of that and gives us addictive and unhealthy food that our digestive systems were not evolved to handle. And of course that, combined with unnatural beauty standards, creates an even more stressful environment.

Humans are not aggressive. We aren’t evil, and we have evolved to use our intelligence for cooperation and problem solving. The reason so many of us are so fucking unhinged is because we are basically pitbulls in a fighting ring. A gentile creature transformed into a monster by the cruelty of society.

[itdisneymatter]

Leaving on a jet plane

So its finally time, in just a few hours we head to the airport and we are currently flying out to Orlando, Florida for our first holiday in 5 long years, after much rescheduling since we originally intended to go back in 2019. And of course with that, THE BLOG returns (I am sorry in advance, truly)! This was meant to be posted before now (last night, then this morning, now whatever time zone we are flying across), but the last 24 hrs, nay the whole week has been absolutely choc-a-bloc, from lastminute.com stuff at work to the important stuff like making customised t-shirts, fixing switch controllers and making up snackle boxes (which we couldn’t use anyway because of someone’s stupid stupid peanut allergy).

And since the last time we were there, we’ve seen more than a few changes.

Our “kids” are no longer kids really. Patrick turns 18 at the end of the month and is off the Uni is September. Roberts in studying Advanced Physics and Applied Maths and doing a HNC in Cyber FREAKING Security all while still in six year. And Grace is the only one who is not yet taller than me which I don't think that’ll be the case for very much longer. Oh and fun fact: Grace is older that Patrick was the last time we were here back in 2017… eesh! No more buggies (well not ruling that out completely for me and Ann), and obviously no more tantrums or arguing from the kiddos (lol, I wish).

Old School

Social media, since the last time, has seen a big change. Patrick laughed at me when I told him I was continuing to use Tumblr for my blog, because everyone’s on YouTube, Tiktok or Instagram these days (well maybe not even Insta, I can’t keep up). I’m a terrible speaker so me doing live, unedited vLogs is an absolute no-go. And Tiktok? I’m sorry I just cant, I dont have the actual energy or sanity to plan and film a little skit of me talking to myself, pretending to be another character (seriously can we check on these people I’m worried for them). And the purpose of this blog is mainly to create a somewhat historical record of our events, intended mainly for personal consumption. Anyway, I’m too committed now to stop and this continues to be the format, however boomer it is.

I digress.

So only a short unofficial update today before we start the main event and roll out a rundown of our daily escapades. Michael graciously dropped us off at the airport this morning with our luggage which came in at just under the limit (not looking forward to smashing said limit on the return leg that’s for sure). Check in and security was fairly breezy and managed to get an obligatory pint & some decent Eggs Royale for breakfast oh and a wee sneaky purchase of a nice 14yo Aberlour. This, mainly for me during our three weeks, will also likely be Patrick’s first sip of alcohol EVER, as he won’t legally be allowed to drink until he’s back home and above the country’s legal age limit. Not bad for his first ever drink and sure beats Rolling Rock for a quid or so down at McFly’s in Coatbridge watching Shifter on a school night 😏

Best laid plans

Writing down this last part from the sky above the Atlantic, we have about 4 hours left until we land in Melbourne. I had, rather optimistically planned to watch ALL of The Last of Us and play the Switch at the same time but due to having about 8 hrs of sleep all in in the past 72hrs, and the kids probably not far behind, we pretty much all crashed as soon as we took off. So all in all I’m about two episodes in and had my Switch on for a total of 30 minutes. At least we’ll be rested for when we get there, though will probably play havoc with the old body clock, with an emphasis on old. Absolute belter from Grace because we’ve been plane buddies today - she turned around to me after struggling to get back to sleep at one point due to the noise and said “there’s too many kids on this flight” Oh dear… 😂

Itinerary is locked in (on a nicely formatted Excel spreadsheet I may add), and contains everything from Restaurant prices and happy hour deals down to best snacks and secret hacks at each of the parks. We’ll be kicking things off with Islands of Adventure tomorrow on our first full day (it would have been Magic Kingdom but they don’t do 21 day tickets any more 🤷🏻‍♂️). Once we pick up the car, we plan to head via Disney Springs to pick up our Magic Bands and grab some food (if we’re hungry which we probably won’t be). Then onward to the hotel to get unpacked, grabbing the traditional Starbucks at the Java cafe, grabbing some provisions at Walmart then heading to bed for some semblance of sleep.

Pauline & Kevin have been here since last Sunday too so we’ll also be catching up with them this week and it looks like they’ve had a blast thus far… 😁

Right I’m going back to watching The Last of Us on plane tv and kidding myself on I’m going to get back to sleep, so will catch you guys on the flippity flip!

[purveyorofsnozzberries]

So, let’s talk about anti-depressants for a bit.

Tw: suicide, depression, and SSRI withdrawal symptoms.

Antidepressants are wonderful miracles of modern medicine. In that we don’t really know how they work.

In 2016, my life sucked. I could go into how bad it sucked, but ironically I feel like that way lies a depressive episode so let’s not. One day, I received some unusually bad news. Life ending bad, it felt at the time. And, in the wake of that news, I tried to commit suicide. I thankfully was not well equipped, or I would have actually done some damage. I was lucky. I had a support system who sprang into action to let me know that I was loved, and would be missed.

So I started taking antidepressants. I went to a doctor and said “I tried to off myself, I think I need antidepressants.” They readily agreed, and I was prescribed escitalopram. Years have passed, I’ve had my ups and downs but for the most part the antidepressants did a lot to help me stay sane during those bad years. Hurray!

But then, a few months ago, I moved from my hometown to one 5 hours away. My doctors said they could prescribe me 3 months supply while I found a new doctor. Easy, right? Wrong. I have made 3 appointments with doctors in this town and each one has called me back saying “we’re not accepting new Medicaid patients”

I’m sorry, the fuck? I just need someone to sign the little pieces of paper that allow me to take the pills that make my brain work. And sadly, I am one of those people who needs medications. I take them to focus, I take them to sleep, I take them to maintain my mental health. But while I was trying to find a doctor, my antidepressants ran out.

“Oh shit.”

Day 1 through day 3 wasn’t so bad. Felt a bit off, emotions were swinging more than usual, maybe got a bit irritable sometimes but nothing I haven’t gotten used to dealing with over the years. This was hardly the first time my ADHD ass forgot to re-up on meds over a long weekend. It sucks, but it’s manageable. Day 4 changed that. Day 4 I couldn’t sleep. I woke up really to kill someone. I SCREAMED obscenities at my pet cats when they meowed to be fed ( I feel really bad about freaking them out now). Any little thing went straight to 11. My mind was foggy.

Day 5 was worse. The body aches started. My muscles felt… thin, like I could bite right through my arm without stopping. My extremities were at turns numb and tingling. I started experiencing “brain zaps”, which is a phantom sensation that feels like an electric shock goes from your brain all the way down your body. Deeply unpleasant all around.

Day 6 I started feeling a bit better mentally. I found that marijuana could at least keep the irritability down. I made another appointment, then sobbed when I got a call back saying no new Medicaid patients.

Finally I called my mom. The nuclear option. I, a 32 year old man, called my mom hoping she could make things better. And for the most part, it worked, lol. She showed up a few days later and marched me down to an urgent care who was able to prescribe me a months supply. I was so out of it I told them the wrong dosage (I take 10’s but said 20’s) and so wound up with a 2 month supply. Which hopefully will be enough to find a real doctor who takes Medicaid and can write me my magic pieces of paper.

So, what takeaways can be divined from this mess? Don’t run out of medication? Don’t assume you’ll be able to find a doctor easily?

How about “know what medications you’re taking”.

I didn’t ask about lexapro/escitalopram when I started. I didn’t know it was an SSRI, I didn’t know what would happen if I stopped suddenly. No one told me, either. Not one doctor in the 8 years I’ve been taking it warned me about *gestures at my last week of existence* THIS.

And I was okay with that. Because it did what I needed it to do. It works. But as soon as I can find a doc, I’m going to ask them to wean me off it. I can’t live with that kind of pain hanging over my head. The physical symptoms have mostly abated but my legs are still sore and my fingertips are numb. Some studies have shown such symptoms lasting for weeks or even years.

I’m not saying everyone or even anyone should stop taking their SSRIs, and certainly NEVER EVER stop taking them cold turkey like I did. That’s what caused The Issues. But if you are unaware of what SSRI withdrawal feels like and you’re taking them, I would absolutely suggest talking to your doctor about what can be done to minimize the risk of something like this happening to you.

Because this last week has been hell, and no one should have to go through that just because they moved.

[aditi-jagtap-pune]

Treating Your Risk for Cardiovascular Disease - Aditi Jagtap Pune

Who doesn’t like the humdrum of the heart? From exam day to wedding day, this beautiful organ reflects numerous emotions from affection, abhor, benevolence, unease, alarm, belief, etc deeply. It seems to be the chief segment of aliveness. If you’re young or a millennial who loves to live healthy, the good news is you can reduce the likelihood of the disease, says Dr Ranjit Jagtap.

Cardiovascular diseases are also known as heart diseases which encompasses coronary artery disease, high blood pressure, cardiac arrest, congestive heart failure, arrhythmia, peripheral artery disease, stroke, and congenital heart disease. Cardiac Surgery experts like Gold-Medalist Dr Ranjit Jagtap have founded the Ram Mangal Heart Foundation, Pune intending to save the lives of people from giant heart diseases. The doctor has completed 30,000+ successful surgeries to date. If the dilemma about heart health has overhauled you, then with no delays get your personalized appointment today at the clinic.

This article portrays a comprehensive guide about how one can save their generous heart from the risk of cardiovascular disease. Make sure from now on you are pledging to live healthy and happy. Of course, in the beginning, you might experience some difficulty in changing the course of unhealthy habits and routines but once with all your will you decide to move forward no force can stop you. With faith and hope let’s jump into the information further.

1. Swap To Conscientious Dietary Plan

Do you have any idea how powerful your daily diet can be in healing the health of your heart? Your kitchen is the master king of your health condition. Everything is connected in this human system. Today, people follow a Satvic lifestyle to enhance their mental and physical wellbeing which eventually helps them to live beautifully and better. When you intake those vivid fruits, vibrant vegetables, whole grains, and ambiguous proteins which altogether helps in the reduction of saturated fats, sodium, and refined sugar. Avoid preservatives and junk food as that may harm your lifestyle.

2. Sweat Today, Shine Tomorrow

As you wriggle you allow the cells of your body to enjoy your lifestyle well. Make sure you contribute your time to exercising every day for more than 30 minutes. Every round will make you healthier and brighter. Our body is prone to store emotions, when you exercise there is an overall uplift to your mood. You might be thinking exercise makes me crazier but wait a second, when you devote your time to workout, you give a strong signal to your body that you care to live long and healthy. Punch the risk of cardiovascular disease in the face with a light jog, active brisk walk, chiggy wiggy dance class, swim, etc.

3. Just Let Your Stress Fly & RELAX!

Cultivating a healthy lifestyle, Aditi Jagtap Pune, daughter of Ranjit Jagtap educates on how stress is injurious to heart health. We all happen to appear from different walks of life and have different experiences. There is a strong possibility that not everyone can understand your stress but believe me, when you decide to fly, nothing can come your way. Put your armor on and start opting for good practices from mindfulness, meditation, and deep breathing. These activities will always ground you down. When you worry a lot, all the uninvited diseases come to your place while asking you to binge-watch them instead of your favorite series all day long.

4. Man Becomes Genius When He’s Dreaming

As per Aditi Jagtap Pune, Sleep well no matter how excited or upset you are. Don’t compromise your sleep for a little profit or loss. Charge your mind and body by sinking into the bed for at least 8 hours a day. When you forsake your sleep, you increase the risk of cardiovascular diseases in your life. Try sticking to a routine where you find yourself relaxing each day. Choose a comfortable mattress that allows your spine to relax completely.

5. Regular Checkups & Day Care

At Dr Ranjit Jagtap Clinic, patients visit to get their heart checkups done and solve different issues on a day-to-day basis. This will keep your blood pressure and diabetes in control. Here you get to work closely with healthcare professionals who recommend each patient to live proactively which would result in living a peaceful and faithful life. Prevent yourself from the ups and downs of life by detecting the risks early in your life.

6. Drop Alcohol, Smoking and Tobacco

There are many chances of increasing blood pressure when you consume alcohol. It adds extra calories to your diet while causing harm to your liver. Both reasons increase the chances of heart disease in your life. Whereas consuming tobacco can increase the risk of heart stroke and attack. No one knows when you are going to get another life.

Conclusion:

Heart Diseases can happen at any age so don’t stick to the old beliefs that youngsters or teens can’t get these attacks in their lives. Let’s dive into the world of awareness and always be ready for good and best to happen. Aditi Jagtap, Dr Ranjit Jagtap Daughter serves the social segment of the foundation where she takes good care of the patients suffering from heart disease. She has created awareness about heart disease in Pune and other cities. Many people have started living well after gaining full knowledge about the disease.

[inspirehealthandspirit]

Quality Sleep Does Matter

Quality sleep doesn't matter much unless you've reached a certain age. Not until then do you truly appreciate and need to get the aloof quality sleep. If you're reading this, you know you can no longer get by on coffee, energy drinks, and quick sugar fixes to get you through the day. You are tired of being tired all the time. Of course, there are other reasons for having this feeling, but the number one reason begins with sleep quality. You may take melatonin, drink sleepy-time tea, or try different sleep techniques to get to bed quickly and stay asleep all night. If these aren't working for you, there are several reasons why. You can read more about that here 10 Tips to Falling Asleep. You can also try some other alternative sleep methods like earthing/grounding. Sleep Quality Tip: If you own an Apple watch, wear it at night to get your sleep pattern. The app data is sent to your Apple Health, where you can view the info. I found it helpful in determining how much sleep I need. On the days I woke up sleepy, I slept less than 7 hours. I slept between 8-9 hours on the days I felt well rested. Everyone will be different, but the exciting thing is that it shows you the sleep cycle you achieved during your sleep. Maybe that's only interesting to me, but if you are curious, try it. It will help you make adjustments to your sleep pattern. It's also important to know the four sleep stages you aim for every night. The following is an article on the stages of sleep that we need at night. It's crucial to your well-being to reach all the sleep phases. Greg Lindberg Breaks Down the Various Stages of Quality Sleep Orlando, Florida (September 15, 2023) – In today's fast-paced world, the importance of a good night's sleep cannot be overstated. Sleep is not merely a period of rest; it is a complex process with distinct stages that are crucial for physical and mental well-being. Health care experts suggest that poor sleep habits, stress, and sleep disorders can lead to health consequences, including cognitive impairment, mood disorders, and an increased risk of chronic diseases. Wellness Advocate Greg Lindberg helps break down the stages of sleep that can help individuals be healthier, happier and more productive every day. Stage One - The Transition Phase This initial stage of sleep is considered the brief period of drowsiness as people drift from wakefulness to sleep. This is when the muscle activity decreases, and people can experience fleeting sensations or thoughts. Lindberg says that during this stage people can get energized and refreshed, allowing them to stay focused and be productive. “Even if you go into stage one sleep or take a 20-minute power nap, you can dramatically improve your ability to memorize, absorb details, and handle social situations,” said Lindberg. Stage Two - Light Sleep People can experience the majority of the sleep cycle during this stage. The brain wave activity and eye movements slow down, getting the body into light sleep. Lindberg said people can fall asleep during this time, but they can easily wake up. Stage Three - Deep Sleep Stage three, also known as slow-wave sleep, can play a vital role in the cycle of the physical and mental restoration. In stage three, the body’s blood pressure drops, breathing slows and muscles go into full relaxation. “During deep sleep, the body starts to repair, rejuvenate and restore itself, giving you the chance to feel refreshed, relaxed and ready to take on the challenges of the day,” said Lindberg.  REM (Rapid Eye Movement) Sleep REM sleep allows the body to go into the deepest sleep. This is when most vivid dreaming occurs, and brain activity spikes. “This stage is crucial for cognitive function and emotional well-being,” said Lindberg. “I sleep about eight to 10 hours per night, and this allows me to feel better physically, mentally and emotionally.” Take Away Lindberg says there are some simple ways to improve sleep quality, including establishing a regular sleep schedule, creating a comfortable sleep environment, limiting exposure to digital devices before bedtime, and managing stress through relaxation techniques. If sleep issues persist, it’s important to speak to a health care provider. To learn more about wellness, visit Lifelonglabs.com/Newsroom.     About Lifelong Labs Lifelong Labs is a wellness, longevity and leadership brand which provide science-based information and programs on fasting, cold exposure, exercise, nutrition, hormesis, sleep, mental wellness, leadership, career, and more. The company, launched in 2023, works with trusted health and wellness experts to provide guidance that is science-based, safe, effective and attainable. The brand connects with audiences through its website, newsletters, subscription-based programs and social media platforms. To learn more, visit LifelongLabs.com. Image by: Freepik Read the full article

[emgenue]

Hello, Tumblr!

We're halfway through 2023 and what a year it has been.

These past few years have been filled with tragedy; I've lost many people dear to me. It's only now that things are beginning to change, starting with a shift in mindset to count my blessings.

I've also accomplished many things I never thought possible. I know I'm making my loved ones proud. The last year has been a grind. I'm finally transferring to a four-year university to major in aerospace engineering. I'm participating in a NASA program, summer classes, and working on top of it all. A girl barely has time to breathe.

I admit, I've been losing myself in the hustle. I am no longer present in the journey. No one talks about the agony of the battle; we only see results. I did become a yoga instructor. I was in the healthy weight range of around ~135 lbs. and I looked and felt great. Keto worked for me. I was exercising 4-5 days a weeks and living life for myself and not for anybody else's expectations.

Then, everyone died. My support network was decimated in two years. I dropped out of school multiple times and sought therapy to get through the loss. It was a hard journey to get here, but here I am. I've lost so much. I can't lose myself.

So here we are. I weigh more than I ever have and I still feel and look great. My body does so much for me and I am grateful to have my health. There is more to life than an ideal. I don't think I have it in me to chase for a "dream body." Instead, I want to chase the feeling of having energy in the morning, of experiencing the joy of being one with my body.

Yoga allowed me to connect my physical health with my emotional and spiritual wellbeing. I am currently in a state of disconnect and I am seeking to re-establish this foundation so I can be present in my journey. I am an ambitious woman with goals, but I deserve to enjoy my life every step of the way. The hustle does not have to be miserable. Life truly is too short.

Goals for 2023

The rest of this year will be about habits. I have six months to build the foundation for the next year and onwards to the rest of my life. The easiest guideline for me are the five pillars of wellness.

Movement

Walk 10,000 steps daily

Yoga 1-2 time a week

Sleep

8-9 hours

Wake up 08:00 daily

Hydration

64+ oz. of water daily

Carry Hydroflask everywhere

Breath

5 minute sessions with Apple watch

5-10 min. meditation every evening

Nutrition

Eat breakfast daily

Make mindful choices when eating

These aren't in the order of importance, but roughly my personal easiest to hardest. Movement lifts my mood and is a natural anti-depressant. I love to sleep. Water is easy as long as I have my giant Hydroflask with me.

I struggle with breath and nutrition the most. I notice my shoulders are tense and I don't exhale fully when I'm stressed. It builds up and I feel like a bundle of nerves at the end of the day. Nutrition is a challenge for me because I am indecisive and hardly eat a meal a day.

These habits are health-related, but if I want to feel my best, the body is the easiest to control and master. If I wanted to lose weight, keto was extremely effective for me. However, I am a different person with different goals now than I was in 2019. I want a sustainable lifestyle change. I want to be healthy down to my bones, not just on a scale. Ultimately, I want to feel like myself again and, with my ridiculously busy schedule, baby steps will ensure that I reach my destination all in due time.

Wish me luck!

Em♥

[broken-hearted-butterfly]

Trying to not let myself feel too down by thinking, but I'm coming across things that hadn't occurred to me prior. I can't get to every topic in therapy, nor can I always remember or find a place to fit everything in. I'm on an antidepressant now, trazodone, and it's been working quite well. The sleep aid effects are beginning to work as well, after around a week and a half or so. The medication was initially lowering my already low blood pressure, so I keep a blood pressure cuff on me, for if my palpitations suddenly get worse, so I can have some numbers to associate with it.

Thinking of health, I'm facing the possibility that I may have a chronic condition with no cure, only treatment. They're screening me for autoimmune conditions and want me to be genetically tested. They're beginning to lean towards ehler danlos syndrome, and wanting to test for POTS as well, and it felt a bit devastating to hear. It would be fantastic to know why I'm in so much pain, but I'd been clinging to the idea of physical recovery. I feel almost like I'm having to settle for less, because my body simply can't handle too much without my pain completely disabling me. I've been referred to a genetic clinic to test me for EDS. The more I look, the more I think there may be something worth investigating, especially once I saw the blue rings in the eyes of those who have it, the same rings in my own eyes. Only a limited number of conditions can cause those rings, and those combined with my back pain, joint pain, and numbness and neuropathy, all together, I believe there may be something worth pursuing. It will make me compromise some of my job and career choices, and I will have to hope I can be allowed accommodations like more frequent breaks or the mere ability to sit down with back support.

I'm not looking forward to returning to the workforce. I've realized recently that a lot of my discomfort stems from the loss of control, the fact that I have to willingly submit myself and have my actions limited and monitored while not being able to leave my workplace. It's seeing most of, if not my entire day, go by in this fashion. It's a beautiful day, must stay inside. It doesnt feel that much different from how I grew up. The other part is knowing I have to partake in a failing system. We know wages are too low, we know the 40 hour week is antiquated, we know 8 hours a day is too long. And yet, we persist. I don't want to have to play a rigged game - I already did that for two decades. Picking a job I enjoy makes me feel like I'm trying to delude myself. Ah see, it's not so bad to be alive in a place that feels hostile to life itself, look how much you enjoy the books or the cleaning. I simultaneously feel like I was made for more than this, but when faced with more than this, I crumble under the weight. Yes I can find employment I may enjoy, but some part of me will always consider it to be pathetic in one way or another. I won't feel secure enough in work until I have better transportation, which will open me up to much more, but as for now, I feel like I'm making do with what I have, and I almost feel as though I'm refusing to let myself even consider the possibility of enjoying it. I feel like I'm afraid I'll be stuck in it. I can't conceptualize time and its passage very well, two decades of jumbled broken memories tell me that much. I'm afraid to waste it feeling stuck. Then find something worthwhile, you say, but I also feel tired of having to ascribe a meaning to everything. I want to simply be, but even that feels like a challenge.

I was thinking about the pets in my family, and how each one of them met a demise that I was never informed of. Our cat passed first. She had been adopted when I was 6 months old. I grew up alongside her, and she favored me most out of anyone in the family. Towards the end of her life, her health went into a sharp decline, and there were rumors of her likely having to be put down as she had no quality of life. No one told me when it would be done. I was told that no one had been expecting it, so no one was able to tell me. I didn't react. The second was one of our dogs, a chihuahua we had briefly had. He was difficult to housebreak, and that was what had eventually driven my mother to want him out. We were discouraged from holding the dog or letting him lay on us, told to push him off and away, lest he urinate on someone at any moment. He never did. While in a particularly uncharitable mood, I had told the dog that I hoped I would never see him again. The next day, my father had told me that they had given the dog up to someone who bred and worked with chihuahuas. It had been quite spur of the moment, so no one knew it was going to happen like that. I felt upset at my own prophesied words. The last family pet was another dog, a havanese. His health began to decline with his age, and he could barely keep food down. He'd favored my mother most of all, and she'd done everything she could to save him, cooking in hopes that he would be able to keep something, anything in his stomach. He passed while she was holding him. She had been talking about how he was very likely going to have to be put down, and she wanted me to be there so he wouldn't be alone. I teared up, but did not cry. My mother put him down on a blanket and returned to work, coming back two hours later to say something needed to be done with the body, lifting the stiff corpse of the late family dog to demonstrate the rigor mortis. I went for a walk. He had been buried when I returned. They said they'd wanted to bury while the sun was still up. How unfortunate of me to have missed it. I was never told when they did so. My roommate recently lost a dog. Her mother was distraught, but the rest of her family seems to have seen it coming. I reacted to animal death in my own family the same as I would for someone else's. Utterly terrifying in its finality. Did all those years really pass? What is there to show for them? I was surviving. My time won't pass like that anymore, I'm doing more than base survival, but I fear the years passign and having to ask myself if I'm happy with it. After all, you can't redo any of it. All just a nebulous concept I find myself adrift in.

The identity pieces are continuing to come together for me. There is a small circle of people who know the second name I go by, and it's a name I would like to start using in my day to day. Fewer still know about the dissociative episodes I experienced that led me to this point. I want to tell two friends about my name. One I believe will take it well, though with the other I have a few reservations. I'm afraid of being regarded as somewhat lesser, a secondhand embarrassment, for how I've chosen to engage with this. She's mentioned it to me before, and I haven't quite forgotten. But this does bring me to something else I've been thinking about, and it's how I don't want perception of myself to shape how I interact with the world. I was torn between a shirt with an ant, or one that reaffirmed my gender, stating that I was a boy. I asked myself, why did I feel so drawn to the latter? To show others. For other people to interpret me correctly. Not for myself, but for people I would likely only see once. Of course, it gets a bit more dicey with someone I know and live with, but I would be willing to have a civil discussion with her if it came down to it. I had to care for what others thought of me - I grew up quite uncared for because of my neurodivergence, before I learned to model myself to expectations. I don't want to be shaped by that anymore. If a disagreement arises, I will address it. I want to address it. I want to feel more confident in myself. I feel too easily swayed. A friend is doing the keto diet, talking to me about sugar and carbs. I can feel myself obsessively checking labels for added sugars. I saw one person talk about why keto doesn't matter. I stopped checking labels. I want to stand for something. Of course, it wouldn't be anything immediate. I'm roughly a year out of my traumatic situation, I still have things to even remember before I can fully let go.

My therapist noted that I tend to anchor myself to worst case scenarios. My father had an undiagnosed anxiety disorder, which he was fond of referring to as "the what-if game", not knowing that, while his fears were valid, they were never fully grounded and merely instilled a deep set anxiety in myself, bordering on paranoia if my ptsd symptoms make a resurgence. I won't lie, I am afraid to have hope. It's been taken from me more times than I can count. It makes me feel like I've been burnt by sticking my hand in an open flame, and then telling myself that maybe the fire won't be so hot this time. I suppose the alternative metaphor would be a stove, which can be turned off so it isn't hot this time. Though, metaphorically, I suppose I would like to wonder why I'm continually attempting to burn myself. I've been made to feel foolish, arrogant, for believing anything else. Looking up merely to keep my head from going under. I don't want to be a cynic, but in this day and age, it feels hard to be anything else.

Beginning to believe that thinking may not be the healthiest hobby for me.

[jtbb]

im gonna murder someone

[heymacy]

.

[likeahorribledream]

On The Run

Request: ''I had a bad dream'' with Steve Rogers. - @fangirllife98

Summary: After the incidents from Civil War, you and Steve are on the run together.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader / Nomad!Steve x Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warning: Nothing triggering, I think? I suck at warnings. There isn't any physical description for the reader.

Notes at the end.

+ This is not proofread, I apologize in advance for all the mistakes you're about to see.

Steve Rogers had been your friend since he had come out of the ice. You used to work for SHIELD but you were neither an agent or an Avenger, you worked in the medical field and you had been hired to monitor Steve’s health until he woke up and after. You spent a lot of time with him and quickly became close friends. You both have very similar personalities and it made it very easy to get along. He could spend hours talking to you about his life from before and he could listen to you for hours as you tried to explain to him everything that was new and different.

He loved that you weren’t an agent or an Avenger, it allowed him to have his own little escape from that part of his life whenever it got to be too much. You were, and still are, one of his best friends and he trusts you with his life.

When he decided to go look for Bucky, he wanted you to come with him. In case Bucky needed medical help, you were the only person he’d trust around his childhood best friend. Of course, you went with him. You had listened to Steve tell you hundreds of stories about the trouble he’d get into with his friend, Bucky was too important for him to refuse to go look for him with Steve.

You hadn’t expected to become fugitives of the law, yet here you are a year later; running and hiding with Captain America.

Steve brought Bucky to Wakanda so that he could heal and understand what exactly happened to him, when he came back the feud between him and Tony was far from being over and since he went against the Sokovia Accords, he found himself on the other side of the law and since you had helped him, you were considered an accomplice and were on the ‘’wanted’’ list next to Steve’s name. Tony could have gotten them out of it but when Steve chose Bucky over him, he decided to let him fend for himself. Steve had given you a choice; he could get you a place to live in another country where you’d be safe from the authorities or you could stay with him but that meant you would have to constantly be on the move.

You’d much rather be constantly on the move with your friend, than staying in one place in a country you didn’t know without being able to see him for who knows how long, the choice had been very simple and easy for you.

After a year, the heat had died down and it allowed you to stay in one place for longer periods of time. Steve had grown a beard and let his hair get longer, it made it harder for people to recognize him. Not a lot of people knew what you look like, but you decided to dye your hair from time to time just in case someone might recognize you.

A few days ago, you and Steve went back to New York. It’s Steve’s safe place and it’s so crowded, it makes it hard for anyone to recognize either of you. Steve had found a shady motel in a shady part of town that accepted to be paid in cash, no IDs required and no questions asked. You each had a room, a door connected them and you always left it opened just to keep an eye on each other.

It’s hard to sleep. You haven’t had a single good night of sleep since you left with Steve, you were scared that if you fell into too deep of a sleep, you wouldn’t hear if someone came for you.

Tonight is your third night in a row at this motel, you were tired of eating food from the vending machines so you decided to go get some takeouts for dinner. Steve doesn’t like when you go out on your own but it was too risky for him to go with you, that’s why you mainly ate food from vending machines. After dinner, you took showers in your respective rooms. After your shower, you put on a pair of sweats and a tank top and sat on your bed, waiting for Steve to join you to watch a movie.

‘’Come on, old man.’’ You called out towards his room.

He was taking his time and you were anxious to get the movie started.

His head poked out from his bathroom door, his hair completely drenched.

‘’That nickname wasn’t funny years ago when you used it for the first time, and it’s not funny now.’’

You laughed and pointed at your smile. ‘’Speak for yourself, I personally think it’s funny.’’

He rolled his eyes.

‘’Come on, Stevie. I’m tired.’’

Steve squinted as he looked at the alarm clock on your nightstand. ‘’It’s barely 8:30. How am I the old man here?’’

‘’You were born at the beginning of the 1900s, I was born at the end of the 1900s thus making you old.’’

‘’Well, give me 5 minutes and I’ll be right there. You can start the movie, I’ll still be able to hear it from here.’’ He told you, going back into the bathroom but leaving the door slightly opened.

You did as he said, you pressed play on the movie you had chosen earlier and sat with your back against the headboard, pillows behind you to make it more comfortable.

Five minutes later, Steve emerged from the bathroom and sat down next to you. He lifted his arm to let you snuggle up against his body and then laid it on your back, his hand resting on your hip.

Movie night always meant cuddle time.

Though you loved Steve with all of your heart and he loved you with all of his, the last few months had started to get rough for the both of you. You had never realized how much you were fond of hugs and human touch until you couldn’t do either. You came to a mutual understanding that, to keep your sanity, you would have cuddle time and it had sincerely helped better both of your moods.

Once the movie was over Steve turned off the TV, gave you a kiss on your forehead and went back to his room for the night. As soon as the lights were off, you fell asleep.

You were woken up a few hours later by something touching your foot above your covers. You quickly opened your eyes and relaxed when you saw Steve standing at the foot of your bed.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ Your voice was barely audible as you were still half asleep.

‘’I- I had a bad dream. Really bad. Can I stay with you?’’ He whispered.

You could hear how anxious he was and that woke you up. You grabbed the covers that were around your shoulders and lifted them up. Steve quickly walked around the bed and joined you, settling under the sheets. You waited until he was completely laid down and lowered the covers on top of both of your bodies.

‘’Are you ok?’’ You whispered.

You were laying on your side, facing him while he was laying on his back, looking at the ceiling. He turned his head and looked at you. His eyes were looking at every detail of your face, trying to burn this image of you into his brain so he’d never forget how beautiful you looked in this exact moment.

Steve’s had a crush on you since the first day he met you. At first he didn’t think too much of it, thinking it was just because you were the first woman he’d seen in over 70 years. Then, you two became really close friends and his feelings only got stronger throughout the years but he was going through a lot and he didn’t think it was fair of him to drag you into his problems so he decided to wait before telling you how he felt. He was finally gathering up the courage around the time Bucky resurfaced and before he knew it the two of you were on the run and he was terrified to confess his feelings to you and that you’d reject him. You two literally only had each other, he couldn’t risk ruining your friendship. Not when it was the only thing keeping the both of you completely sane.

You were both so oblivious, it was almost painful. Steve thought he’d ruin your friendship by telling you how he felt and you were keeping your very similar feelings to yourself because you didn’t think you were good enough for Steve Rogers, America’s Golden Boy. Though you tried not to let it show, you were a very insecure person and you barely felt like you were good enough to be friends with him, there’s no way he’d ever see you as girlfriend material.

‘’I don’t think I am.’’ He finally answered, whispering too.

He laid on his side to face you. It was pitch black in your room, but street lamps outside still managed to peak out from between the blinds, allowing you to see Steve’s face a little better. Whereas with his enhanced everything, Steve could see you very clearly.

‘’What do you need?’’ You asked softly.

‘’You.’’ He answered without hesitation.

You had one hand tucked under your head and you reached out to the other one, brushing your fingers against his jawline soothingly.

‘’I’m right here.’’

He closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the gentle touch on his jaw. When he opened his eyes again, he reached out over to you to wrap his arm around your waist and pulled you closer to his chest. You were so close to him that you had to tilt your head back to be able to look at him while he had to look down. You moved your hand to the back of his head and played with his hair that was still a little damp from his shower earlier.

‘’Do you want to talk about your dream?’’ You offered knowing that sometimes talking about it helped him.

He shook his head no, his eyes on you and never looking away.

‘’I don’t want to talk.’’

His hand that rested at the small of your back was now moving up to cup the side of your face, using his thumb to gently stroke your cheek.

Somehow, Steve’s face felt closer than it had a few seconds ago. Your heart started racing and you were sure he could hear it. His thumb moved down, the pad of his finger brushed over your lower lip a few times. It sent shivers down your spine. Steve leaned down a little more, his thumb going back to rest on your cheek. His eyes kept flickering between your lips and your eyes. He was ready to stop at any sign of you being uncomfortable. He gently brushed his nose against yours and when you didn’t pull away, he finally kissed you.

Your eyes fluttered shut and you felt your cheeks heat up. Steve didn’t leave you enough time to kiss him back, as he pulled away quickly. Your eyes opened, scared to see the regret on his face but instead all you could see was how nervous he was.

‘’Is this ok?’’

You nodded as an answer, not trusting your voice to function properly. He quickly closed the gap between the two of you, this time giving you a chance to kiss him back. Both your eyes were closed, his thumb started moving on your cheek again and your hand that was in his hair slowly slid down his neck, then his chest to finally move under his arm and rest on his back. The kiss was slow, as if Steve was afraid to hurt you, but you both could feel all the emotions and feelings that you hadn’t had the courage to confess being put into this kiss. He pulled back, just enough to give you a chance to breathe. Both the kiss and how loved you felt leaving you a little breathless.

He looked at you and waited until you opened your eyes. The look in his eyes made your breath hitched in your throat. He had so much love in his eyes that you thought your heart was going to melt in your chest. He rested his forehead against yours, kissing the tip of your nose.

‘’You.’’ He echoed his thoughts from earlier. His voice was barely audible but he was so close that you could hear him perfectly. ‘’I just need you.’’

I am a big sucker for Nomad!Steve, look at that glorious beard!

I hope this wasn't too cringey. This was my FIRST TIME writing a kissing scene, so please be kind. I know it was probably really bad, I'm sorry!

Thank you to my dear @fangirllife98 for requesting this. I hope you liked it and that it fed your little Steve hunger for the day.

[Taglist: @n3ssm0nique | @lover-of-bucky | @beingagodsucks ]

If you want to be added to a taglist; Bucky taglist, Steve taglist, Missing Piece taglist, Blood Moon taglist or just the general taglist just let me know in the comments or DM me.

[buckysforever]

what bucky would be like while you’re pregnant

PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU ENGAGE: i am a minor, i think it goes without saying that minors can read my work if they want to, but i do want to clarify that if you are an adult you can interact with my work (if you feel comfortable), if you are an 18+ blog you can interact with my work (if you feel comfortable, and i will not interact with yours). i only read and write fluff and angst, and small amounts of mature topics, the pinned post on my page goes more into detail. i write with black women in mind but most of my fics will have no physical description of y/n. trigger warnings are tagged! if you would like to learn more about my blog (which i highly encourage) please refer to the post on my blog titled “PLEASE READ”. thank you and happy reading! 

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trigger warnings: pregnancy, throwing up, anxiety, fluff, cursing, morning sickness (?), diet, calories, mention of showering together (?), pain (?)

word count: 872

a/n: i’m not sure what to tag the mention of showering together, i’m 99% sure it’s not smut, maybe a mention of smut, but i don’t think i implied that anything sexual was happening, so i’m not sure. if you guys could let me know, if you’re aware of what to call that so i can tag it as a trigger, that would be great. feel free to send in requests! thank you and happy reading!

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bucky’s very worried throughout the entire pregnancy. he’s always making sure you’ve eaten and drank enough for you and the mini super soldier. constantly monitoring how well you’re sleeping, massaging your feet, you’re pretty sure he has longer conversations with the obgyn then you have. it’s reassuring to know that he cares so much, but you know that it’s partially because he thinks the carrying a baby with his genes is hurting you. he isn’t wrong, your doctor did say the serum makes the baby stronger, which means it needs more energy, which means you have less energy, which means your body is more tired and can’t protect itself as well as it used to. you wouldn’t trade it for the world, bucky knows that. despite having a shitty immune system and carrying a baby that wasn’t meant for your body, you’re so happy, and that makes bucky happy. the first trimester was the worst for morning sickness, it was like clockwork everyday at 7 am. there were times you couldn’t keep dinner or lunch down and it would throw you off for the rest of the day. in order for you to get enough energy to support you and the baby, a strict diet was enforced. and when you threw up, it messed up your calorie intake for that day, but there was one thing the baby ever made you throw up. mangoes. bucky always got some when he went to the store, you were banned from the grocery store, or any store really, after what happened last time. he was nervous to take you places with lots of people while your immune system was so weak, but somehow you had managed to convince him to let you go with him after weeks of what felt like  quarantine. it had been about three minuets since you two had walked in the store, you were looking at the yogurt when you heard a sneeze. bucky’s head shot in the direction of the sound and started pulling you towards the exit, completely deserting the cart you weren’t allowed to push. he drove home, dragged you into the shower, washed you and himself twice, cleaned the clothes clothes with bleach, and made you apply hand sanitizer every hour until you went to bed. you have not been to a store since. bucky did pick the best mangoes, sometimes they’re all you want to eat, there’s no nausea after, no upset stomach, no allergic reaction. because apparently you can develop allergies while pregnant, saying goodbye to bananas was hard. the second trimester was worse than the first. you constantly were catching colds, bucky was into overprotective overdrive, the thought of being mad about not going to store was long gone, he would barley let you stand. it was getting hard to breathe, the conversation about letting you do some things for yourself was a hard one. it started a fight. but in the end he let you be a bit more independent, you guys started going on walks at night, because there’s not a lot of people. that was when things started to get better, your baby was growing quickly and by the sixth month you wanted it out. despite delivering babies for over 10 years, your doctor was not exactly sure how soon the baby could come out. it was bigger and more developed than other babies, and she thought 8 month would be a good estimate of when you might go into labor. as the third trimester started so did the braxton hicks, they are basically fake contractions, but boy did they feel real. wincing in pain, hands on your stomach or digging into your thighs, waiting for them to pass felt like an eternity. bucky was always there, holding your hand and telling you to breathe, and kissing your belly when they were over. he spent a lot of time down there, talking to the baby, telling the baby to stop kicking it mother at 3 in the morning, he wanted the baby out as much as you did. both to give you a break and so he could hold his child. it was probably about 4 in the afternoon, you had just woken up from a nap, when the strongest contraction you’ve had yet hit you like a truck. calling for bucky mid excruciating pain wasn’t an option so you waited it out, only about 30 seconds and by the send of it you were sweaty and hot. finally able to form words you yelled out his name, to which he came running, his face was priceless when you told him you think you’re in labor. he was asking a million questions while trying to get your bag’s in the car, it was pretty cute, when he finally got back to you he tried to pick you up. you protested, heavily. of course, he didn’t care and carried you to the car, making sure your seatbelt was on before giving you a kiss. 

“i can’t believe we’re doing this”, he said with a smile. you knew then it was going to be okay, uncomfortable, scared, and in pain, you knew it was going to be fine, because bucky was with you. 

[spyrothesquish-0006]

Can I ask about the brothers visiting an MC in a coma, assumedly sometime after they left their 1 year school year at Devildom? Also would it be bad to ask for a platonic/familial relationship instead of romantic?

How the brothers react to visiting GN!MC in a coma (platonic)

Warnings: None besides hospital and coma mentions, also if you're uncomfy with platonic kisses I'm sorry 😢 I see Asmo as very touchy-feely so even if it's a strictly platonic/familial relationship, it would not be rare for him to kiss your cheeks. And platonic requests are always fine! I hope you enjoy!😊

Lucifer:

• surprisingly was not the first to find out, but once he did, he was quick to be at your side

• depending on how you got to be in a coma changes his reaction

• if it's because someone hurt you, Lucifer will be on a war path to make whoever did it pay dearly for hurting someone in his family

• if it's because of an accident, his worry over you will increase, never wanting to see you in such a state again

• will take whatever measures necessary to make sure you stay safe once you wake up

• if the coma is due to an illness, Lucifer will do everything in his power to get you the best treatment possible

• only the best doctors and nurses are fit to care for his family

• if allowed, he will move you to a devildom hospital to be treated

• will not be leaving your side any time soon

• if you thought this demon didn't sleep before, it's even worse now

• he will stay by your side and hold your hand until he sees your eyes open again

• the paperwork in his office might pile up, but honestly he couldn't care less

• you become his #1 priority

• would often pet his hand over your hair and talk to you at night

• even if you can't hear him, he still tells you how important you are to him and his brothers

• "We're all worried about you, MC. You need to wake up. Please.."

Mammon:

• the minute he knows you're in the hospital he takes off, not even stopping long enough to learn why or that you're in a coma

• completely loses it when he sees you in the hospital bed

• it's a mix between fear of losing you, and anger at whatever it is that put you in that coma

• even if it was in no way his fault, he still blames himself for not being there to protect you

• still feels a bit guilty even if it's something completely out of his control, like an illness

• will be by your side any chance he gets

• definitely tries to curl up in the hospital bed with you

• if he isn't allowed to/there isn't enough space, he will curse until the entire hospital knows infernal curse words

• nothing gets between him and MC, that's his family!

• if for some reason he has to leave your side, his crows are stationed outside your window until he gets back to watch over you

• would call in any favors he has to if it means paying for the best medical care, or finding healing potions

• he remembers Satan once saying how if someone is in a coma, that they can still hear

• he often talks to you as if you're awake and responding, late night conversations lessening his worry about you, but sometimes these end in tears if he gets too carried away, knowing you're not responding and might not any time soon

• "Be a good human and wake up, won't ya? You got us all so worried, and it ain't fair."

Levi:

• once he hears the words "MC" and "Hospital" in the same sentence, he has the worst panic attack imaginable

• accidentally summons Lotan and destroys part of the HoL in his panic

• races to the hospital, not caring who he has to talk to or push past to get to you

• all he cares about is his Henry being okay!

• hospitals aren't really his favorite place, being filled with people and germs, but he will stay by your side until you wake up, no exceptions

• he basically moves into your hospital room

• brings his and yours favorite handheld games and plays them all hours of the day and night

• doesn't want to fall asleep in case you wake up

• even though it makes him a blushy mess, he sits on the edge of your hospital bed and keeps his tail firmly wrapped around your hand to "hold" it while he plays video games

• even if you aren't awake, he still watches your favorite animes with you, hoping that maybe the sound of it will make you want to open your eyes

• "Hey, MC, this is your favorite episode right? Do you think maybe you could open your eyes and watch it with me?"

Satan:

• once he knows you're in a coma he rushes to the hospital and immediately sets to work questioning every doctor and nurse that's treating you

• wants to know everything, why you're in a coma, for how long, what can he or any of his brothers do to help you?

• if the doctors treating you are not to his standards, he will throw a temper tantrum until better ones are brought in for you

• refuses to even entertain the idea that you might not wake up

• he gets very irratible with everyone and everything, but it's only because of how worried he is about you

• he may be pissy and quick to let his temper flare, but he's nothing but gentle with you

• he always holds your hand, sitting by your bedside and reading to you to calm his wrath and worry

• he picks only your favorite books, eyes flicking expectantly between the pages and you when he gets to your favorite parts, hoping that just maybe they'd excite you enough to wake up

• "MC, I brought your favorite again. We left off on chapter 6 right? I know your favorite part is coming up, so give my hand a little squeeze once we get to it, okay?"

Asmo:

• nearly faints when he hears you're in a coma

• once he's at the hospital, he demands to know everything

• Who, what, where, when, he accepts nothing but the most thorough answers possible

• is so wracked with worry that he actually forgets his own routines while he takes care of you, not bothering with his lengthy skincare routine or his beauty sleep, instead focusing on yours

• even if you're out cold, you still should be looking your best and be taken care of!

• after all, he would never leave his family helpless to take care of themselves

• he often talks to you while he brushes your hair or does your skincare for you, never wanting to let you fall behind on the gossip

• talking to you also keeps his nerves in check, often falling asleep while he fills you in on what everyone has been up to

• if he doesn't fall asleep while talking to you, he most likely ends up sleeping while scrolling through devilgram posts, curled up in your bed with you so he can still cuddle you until you wake up

• while he holds you he often peppers your face in gentle kisses, murmuring his affections for you and saying how much all of his brothers care about you

• he'd often call you sleeping beauty at night, but now that nickname leaves a bitter taste in his mouth

• "Do me a favor darling and wake up, hmm? It's so boring without you to talk to. If you wake up soon, I'll take you on a shopping spree, alright?"

Beel:

• worried sick once he knows you're in a coma, rushing to the hospital and refusing to leave your side

• he doesn't even feel hungry as he watches over you, far too worried about you being okay to think about eating for once

• seeing you so fragile looking in the hospital bed reminds him too much of losing Lilith

• plants himself by your bed and is incredible gentle while he holds your hand

• he knows how strong he is, and seeing you in a hospital bed makes him even more wary about accidentally hurting you

• he does have to eat eventually, almost snacking on things in the hospital room before a worried nurse got him some food from the cafeteria

• it may not be the best quality, but he honestly doesn't care that much

• if it means he can stay by your side, he'd eat dirt

• despite how worried he is about you, he keeps a brave face and is always smiling and laughing as he talks to you, telling you about all the things him and his brothers have done after your year at RAD ended

• he always brings your favorite snacks when he sits with you, hoping that maybe you'll be hungry enough to wake up and eat with him again

• "MC, I brought your favorite snacks again, I'm sorry I ate them last time...if you wake up before I get hungry they're all yours though! I can get you more if you're still hungry after."

Belphie:

• to everyone's surprise, he was the first to know you were in a coma

• he often visited you in your dreams after you left RAD, making sure you didn't have any nightmares and to just chat with you

• so when he went to visit you in your latest dream, you told him how you were in the hospital and couldn't wake up just yet while your body healed

• he promised to relay the information to his brothers and was quick to be at your side

• he's less worried about your condition than his brothers, only because he can still visit you while you "sleep"

• just because it's not as bad doesn't mean he has no worries though

• part of him is scared that one day he'll try to visit you and you just won't be there dreaming anymore

• because of this fear, he sleeps as often as he can

• self care isn't exactly his strong hold, so he figures his brothers will take better care of you than he can

• instead of helping you physically, Belphie helps you mentally

• he makes sure you never feel lonely in your coma

• he keeps any bad dreams or negative thoughts away, and he never lets you lose hope about waking up, no matter how long your coma lasts

• to make things more fun, he often alters your dreams so you two can go on adventures

• if you feel like flying? He's got you. Wanna be pirates for the day? There's a sword an eyepatch waiting for you

• even though he can still spend time with you in your coma, he still insists on being at your side physically too

• would bring your favorite blankets and pillows and plushies to put in bed with you so you stay comfortable

• is another brother who would curl up in the hospital bed with you, even letting you use his pillow until you wake up

• snuggles you like a koala 25/8 and sleepy mumbles into your ear are common

• "mm, MC? I know it's fun and all, but you gotta wake up at some point dummy. Don't make me go in there and drag you out."

[reidyoulikeabook]

Right Where You Left Me

Ship: BAU! Gender Neutral! reader x Spencer Reid

#Request - Could you do some angst with “you dont deserve my forgiveness?” Any ship!

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: Mention of death, violence, injury (not serious), angst, mourning, a lot of tears. Also, swearing, anger, fighting (verbal, not physical.)

Summary: You and Spencer Reid had been together for a year before he ‘died.’ You grieved him. You mourned him.

A/N: Title stolen from my (current) favourite Taylor Swift song. Not sure how I feel about this one but! Here it is anyway! My requests are open & pls feel free to let me know what you think!!

14 days and 30 minutes exactly

You don’t think about the day Spencer Reid died. You can’t, because even remembering he’s dead feels as if an ice bucket has been tipped over your head. Not even now, two weeks later, have you really gotten over the initial shock that you felt. Every waking moment felt like you were trying to solve some kind of never-ending puzzle. Each emotion was overwhelming, too much to process. It felt like things would only start to get better, like everybody promised they would, when you started to be able to name the emotions rather than describe them as the physical sensations they brought on.

And you didn’t think that’d happen anytime soon.

The shared apartment was too much. You hadn’t slept in your bed since he’d been gone, and forbid anyone else from going into the bedroom. It was a sanctuary.

You understood now more than ever why victims families never changed a thing about the room of their loved ones. Every single thing felt deliberate. Theirs. It was a reflection of the time they were most alive, living. A unique snapshot of them in motion. The mess they left that they expected to come home to.

Rationally, you knew that wasn’t true. There wasn’t a sock hanging off Spencer’s bedside table, or a clean cardigan balled up on the floor, for any reason other than he’d been in a rush that morning, and had left an uncharacteristically large mess in his wake. In more ways than one.

***

2 months, 5 days, 8 hours

Being back at work helps somewhat, but the office feels empty without him there to ramble off factoids about anything and everything, to hear Morgan calling him ‘kid’ every five minutes. He only called you that now.

Simmons is nice, really he is. It isn’t his fault he’s there in place of Spencer and you try hard not to feel personally aggrieved by his presence. He doesn’t do anything to antagonise you, he stays out of your way more than anything. You don’t do anything to purposely make him uncomfortable: you do try to be agreeable and make small talk. But it’s hard not to look at him without thinking how, if everything was how it should be, Spencer would be stood in his place.

***

3 months, 26 days, 3 hours.

There is no ‘new normal.’ You’ve heard the term tossed around a few times in relation to grief, but if there is a new normal you’re still struggling to find it. When you’re not on cases, there’s no ‘normal’. You still don't sleep in your own bed. Sometimes you stay on Rossi’s, or Morgan’s, or Garcia’s couch. Sometimes, read: maybe once, it’s in the spare room at the place you and Spencer used to share. Sometimes, when you get worried about being a burden, it’s a hotel. It’s easier to feel as if you’re choosing to stay away from home, rather than acknowledging that home, as you understand it, no longer exists.

You still wake up and instinctually search for Spencer most mornings. Sure, work is keeping you occupied and you smile a little more these days. You even allowed yourself to be dragged out for drinks last weekend. But nothing feels like it should. You don’t know if that’s normal for grief or if you just aren’t moving forward at all, doomed to tread yourself deeper into the melancholic quicksand that’s got a hold on you.

You talk at length about it with Garcia over wine one night.

“Nothing feels right,” you admit, “Everything just feels...”

Garcia waits, just tipping her chin slightly to encourage you to continue. She’s got the counsellor act down and you’d have the decency to feel embarassed if you weren’t just so damn exhausted all the time.

“I feel trapped, I guess. Like I’m frozen. I keep thinking maybe it’ll get better once the trials over. Once the whole legal aspect of it is over and put to bed, then maybe I’ll have some closure on the whole situation,” you mumble, “I just don’t know how to move forward. I don’t feel like I’ve moved forward. And I know it’s only been three months but I’ve only stayed at our apartment twice and I can’t bring myself to move any of his things and...”

She just waits. In that moment, you’re so grateful for her.

“I’m stuck here. I can’t change anything. I can’t bring myself to move any of his things. I’m paying rent on a place I don’t live in but I can’t move because how can I live somewhere he’s never been? I feel like I’m stuck. I can’t move out of the world he lived in but the world is moving on even without him. And I’m just...I’m just here, Garcia.”

She nods sympathetically, placing her hand on your arm, “Maybe it’ll help when the case is wrapped up. When you have that closure.”

“Yeah,” you agree, “Yeah. I hope so.”

“There’s something you’re not saying,” she says, gently, “And you don’t have to say it. But if you’re holding back because you feel guilty then you don’t have to feel guilty about anything you say to me, my darling.”

You start to well up then. The pressure in your chest is heavy, something akin to guilt. It slices into your chest, cut glass sitting between your ribs and slicing you open every time you breathe in. You’ve been thinking it a lot lately. Too much. It’s making you feel awful and you can’t decide if putting it out into the world verbally is going to be a release or make it feel too real.

Garcia waits patiently.

You decide to believe it’ll be the former, then whisper, “I wish I loved him less. I wish I’d loved him less so this wouldn’t hurt as much.”

And then the sobs come. The sobs that wrack your chest and sting your eyes and leave you looking like you’ve been on the receiving end of an upper cut. Because how could you? How could you possibly want to take back any of the love you had so willingly, freely, given to the person you loved most? What kind of person did it make you to want to take back the good memories: to wish that instead of having waffles on the couch that last Sunday, you’d had a fight about the library fine he’d gotten because of you? How could you want to switch the puzzle pieces to create a less idyllic picture of your life together, just so you wouldn’t feel so much loss when you looked at it?

She just rubs your back through it, knowing that no words can help but still saying the thing she thinks you need to hear most, “That doesn’t make you a bad person, sugar plum. That makes you human.”

***

4 months, 6 days, 14 hours.

Hotch calls you all into the briefing room.

“A few months ago a decision had to be made. Somebody had the potential to make an incredible breakthrough on a case that had been airtight for years. But it wasn’t possible for that individual to complete that work without cover. They needed to be officially gone,” Hotch’s voice booms but you swear you can hear a hesitation, “It wasn’t necessary at the time for you to have that information. Providing you with it would have compromised the safety of one of our agents, and the integrity of their investigation.”

You glance around the room, confused, noticing everyone is sharing the same bewildered look. Except Emily.

“I apologise completely for having to keep this from you, it was a decision that was not taken lately, and I did not have the final say. That being said, any discontent about this decision should be directed towards me,” he glances towards Emily, and she’s looking nervous now.

Hotch lets out a huff, somehow more tense than usual, “SSA Reid was not killed after the attack in Seattle. That was his cover, but he was investigating a case.”

He’s still talking but you can’t hear anything. SSA Reid was not killed. SSA Reid was not killed. You flip the sentence over a hundred times. And for the millionth time since SSA Reid was killed, you have no idea what you feel.

There’s uproar from everybody. Shouting. And then Hotch says something and everybody is looking at you, scanning you for a reaction and you have nothing. Nothing at all.

“Hi,” a voice from the doorway, nervous and shy, a voice you’ve only heard in dreams and voicemails and recordings from nights out that you must have watched hundreds of times by now, if they were tapes you would have worn them out long ago.

And you know you can’t face him. You can’t face any of them.

You look around the room, first at Hotch whose eyes flicker with what looks like remorse. Then, at Emily who just looks guilty as all hell. You don’t look at him. You can’t look at him.

The tension in the room is palpable but in your peripheral you see Garcia and J.J flock to the doorway, embracing him.

Rossi, is the one who comes to you, “____?”

You stare at him, completely blankly, “Yeah?”

“You need to speak to him. Need to hear him out.”

“Yeah,” you murmur, allowing him to help you to your feet. His reassuring hands on your shoulders turn you around and you meet his face. The face of the boyfriend you spent the last four months mourning while everybody watched you fall apart. And half of them knew.

So that’s what you feel. Anger.

“Glad you’re back,” you snipe, pushing past him, “Glad you’re alive.”

Everybody watches you go. A tense silence fills the room. Spencer clears his throat, after what feels like an eternity, muttering, “I-I’ll go after ... I’ll go and see if I can...”

It wasn’t the reaction he was hoping for, if he’s honest. Although he wasn’t sure what exactly he’d been expecting.

“____ please, just let me talk to you, I’m sorry, please just let me have a chance to explain,” He manages to catch you at the elevator just in time, slipping through the gap with his lithe body, “Please. I need to explain. I need to apologise.”

“You can apologise as much as you want. You don’t deserve my forgiveness. You’ll never deserve my forgiveness.”

The venom in your tone leaves him floundering.

“___ please,” he’s begging, and you won’t look at him because you can hear the tears in his voice and he’s begging again, “Please, please look at me, please listen to me. You have to understand, you have to give me a chance to explain, please.”

You’ve never been this angry at him before. But you are now. It consumes you, you’ve never understood a crime of passion before and you’re not going to put your hands on him, of course, but fuck do you understand it now. How a person could just snap. The rage swells in you, screaming. Every muscle in your body is tense. It takes all you have to ball your hands into fists, digging your nails into your palm so hard you’re sure they break the skin. You’re furious. Furious at every single one of them.

“You lied to me,” you spit, “You lied to me and let me think you were dead. You and Hotch and Emily. I didn’t sleep in our bed for four months, Spencer. I’ve spent the past four months frozen, like, I couldn’t move forward without you. I didn’t start to move on. I've spent the last four months falling apart and trying to find a way to put myself back together without you, and then what, you just come back? You think we can just go back to normal? Spencer, I didn’t feel alive this past few months. I’ve been floating through, barely keeping it together. And for what? A case? That was important enough for you to do this to me?"

It’s true, you’ve spent the last four months feeling like you were the one who died. That you were united in being ghosts, except you were haunting all the places you used to go together, and he was just haunting your dreams. And he’d been alive. This. Whole. Time.

You storm out of the lift, lifting your head to look at him for only the second time in four months, “Please. Just leave me alone. You’ve done enough.”

He knows you aren’t wrong. Knows he doesn’t know if he could forgive you if the roles were reversed. Knows, more than anything, that he’s really fucked things up. You’ll never forgive him. That’s what you said, and right now, seeing anger like never before in your eyes, he has no reason whatsoever to doubt that isn’t completely true.

You don’t even make it to the parking lot before you feel your resolve melt into absolutely nothing. Anger descending into relief, hot tears cascading down your cheeks as the mantra starts again on a new loop in your head: SSA Reid was not killed.

[inspirehealthandspirit]

Quality Sleep Does Matter

Quality sleep doesn't matter much unless you've reached a certain age. Not until then do you truly appreciate and need to get the aloof quality sleep. If you're reading this, you know you can no longer get by on coffee, energy drinks, and quick sugar fixes to get you through the day. You are tired of being tired all the time. Of course, there are other reasons for having this feeling, but the number one reason begins with sleep quality. You may take melatonin, drink sleepy-time tea, or try different sleep techniques to get to bed quickly and stay asleep all night. If these aren't working for you, there are several reasons why. You can read more about that here 10 Tips to Falling Asleep. You can also try some other alternative sleep methods like earthing/grounding. Sleep Quality Tip: If you own an Apple watch, wear it at night to get your sleep pattern. The app data is sent to your Apple Health, where you can view the info. I found it helpful in determining how much sleep I need. On the days I woke up sleepy, I slept less than 7 hours. I slept between 8-9 hours on the days I felt well rested. Everyone will be different, but the exciting thing is that it shows you the sleep cycle you achieved during your sleep. Maybe that's only interesting to me, but if you are curious, try it. It will help you make adjustments to your sleep pattern. It's also important to know the four sleep stages you aim for every night. The following is an article on the stages of sleep that we need at night. It's crucial to your well-being to reach all the sleep phases. Greg Lindberg Breaks Down the Various Stages of Quality Sleep Orlando, Florida (September 15, 2023) – In today's fast-paced world, the importance of a good night's sleep cannot be overstated. Sleep is not merely a period of rest; it is a complex process with distinct stages that are crucial for physical and mental well-being. Health care experts suggest that poor sleep habits, stress, and sleep disorders can lead to health consequences, including cognitive impairment, mood disorders, and an increased risk of chronic diseases. Wellness Advocate Greg Lindberg helps break down the stages of sleep that can help individuals be healthier, happier and more productive every day. Stage One - The Transition Phase This initial stage of sleep is considered the brief period of drowsiness as people drift from wakefulness to sleep. This is when the muscle activity decreases, and people can experience fleeting sensations or thoughts. Lindberg says that during this stage people can get energized and refreshed, allowing them to stay focused and be productive. “Even if you go into stage one sleep or take a 20-minute power nap, you can dramatically improve your ability to memorize, absorb details, and handle social situations,” said Lindberg. Stage Two - Light Sleep People can experience the majority of the sleep cycle during this stage. The brain wave activity and eye movements slow down, getting the body into light sleep. Lindberg said people can fall asleep during this time, but they can easily wake up. Stage Three - Deep Sleep Stage three, also known as slow-wave sleep, can play a vital role in the cycle of the physical and mental restoration. In stage three, the body’s blood pressure drops, breathing slows and muscles go into full relaxation. “During deep sleep, the body starts to repair, rejuvenate and restore itself, giving you the chance to feel refreshed, relaxed and ready to take on the challenges of the day,” said Lindberg.  REM (Rapid Eye Movement) Sleep REM sleep allows the body to go into the deepest sleep. This is when most vivid dreaming occurs, and brain activity spikes. “This stage is crucial for cognitive function and emotional well-being,” said Lindberg. “I sleep about eight to 10 hours per night, and this allows me to feel better physically, mentally and emotionally.” Take Away Lindberg says there are some simple ways to improve sleep quality, including establishing a regular sleep schedule, creating a comfortable sleep environment, limiting exposure to digital devices before bedtime, and managing stress through relaxation techniques. If sleep issues persist, it’s important to speak to a health care provider. To learn more about wellness, visit Lifelonglabs.com/Newsroom.     About Lifelong Labs Lifelong Labs is a wellness, longevity and leadership brand which provide science-based information and programs on fasting, cold exposure, exercise, nutrition, hormesis, sleep, mental wellness, leadership, career, and more. The company, launched in 2023, works with trusted health and wellness experts to provide guidance that is science-based, safe, effective and attainable. The brand connects with audiences through its website, newsletters, subscription-based programs and social media platforms. To learn more, visit LifelongLabs.com. Image by: Freepik Read the full article