A Mystery Easily Solved
I’ve got to say, one of the best things about working on a courier spaceship is the downtime. Sure, some deliveries need constant monitoring, and some days we all need to multitask on other moneymaking ventures to make ends meet. But other times we’re doing fine moneywise, and there’s a nice long span of time until we reach our destination.
Today I was spending that time reading in the crew lounge, lying sideways on the couch so I didn’t fall through the tail gap, with Telly the ship’s cat purring against me.
Originally she was The Human’s Animal, restricted to my quarters, but that didn’t last long. Her adorable nature and pestcatching abilities won over everybody, even those of the crew who had exoskeletons that couldn’t properly appreciate how soft her fur was.
I was stroking that mismatched fur with one hand and holding up my reading tablet with the other when Mur walked quietly through.
(I say walk, though really there should be a different word entirely for movement that involves that many tentacles slapping against the floor.)
Anyways, I didn’t really pay attention. I was busy reading, and the lounge was open to anyone. Apparently the rest of the crew had other things to do, which was really their loss.
I didn’t notice when he walked by the first time, but when he came back, he was moving weirdly slowly. I peered around the tablet.
Is he trying to sneak up on somebody out in the hall? I wondered. He wasn’t looking at me, and the expression on his blue-black squid face was one of frowning concentration. I didn’t interrupt.
He moved into the hall, and did indeed have a conversation with someone there, but it was a hushed one that made me even more curious. I lowered the tablet as Mur came back in the company of Paint.
She also looked serious — a mottled orange lizardy person who was colored like the Painted Sunset she was named for, and who was rarely quiet or still. She seemed to be looking for something.
“What’s up?” I whispered. Telly flicked an ear, but only settled in deeper, still purring in a way that said she wasn’t going to give up her comfy spot any time soon. I kept stroking her while I set the tablet on the end table.
“There’s a mystery sound,” Paint whispered back. “Mur said it sounded like an engine problem.”
“We shouldn’t be able to hear any engines in this room, at least not that loud,” Mur said. “Did somebody leave a bit of machinery under a table?”
He seemed honestly baffled, and I hid a smile as it dawned on me what they might be hearing. “Which direction is it coming from?” I asked. “Is it over here?”
They did some careful listening and moved closer.
Mur climbed up on a chair. “Are you doing it??”
I shook my head, grinning and still petting the cat. “No, but you’re close.”
Paint moved in with her head turned sideways for listening. “Oh!”
“Oh what?” Mur demanded.
I shifted position just enough to disturb Telly, who stopped purring and raised her head with a meow of objection.
Paint laughed. “It’s the cat!”
Mur pressed tentacles against his own face. “I can’t believe I forgot they make engine noises.”
“They do,” I said with immense satisfaction, petting Telly again. “And I believe that serves you right for the tentacle-pop noise I couldn’t figure out awhile ago.”
He sighed like a deflating balloon. “Yeah okay, that’s fair.”
“How does she do that?” Paint asked, joining me in running a hand across Telly’s fur. “Oh, she’s so warm!”
Paint’s people are called Heatseekers for a reason. I told her, “She might sit on your lap if you’re still.”
Paint was of course delighted by this idea. Mur threw several tentacles in the air and declared he was off to do something productive with his time.
“Have fun!” I said. “We’ll be here petting the engine noises.”
He grumbled as he left. Telly made more sleepy meows when she was moved from one spot to another, but with two pairs of hands giving her ear scritches and attention, she settled down again.
Her purrs were loud, and Paint’s grin was full of joy.
~~~
The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come! And I am currently drafting a sequel!
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Buggy's Book Reviews: The Old Mountain Spellbook
Well well well, look who has returned after a long hiatus while life kicked my ass from here to Sunday.
Let's get started with a bang shall we?
TW: Slavery mentions, appropriation, generalized frustration at the writing space currently with the rise of ghost writers and AI.
This is: The Old Mountain Spellbook by Alda Dagny
Rating: 1/10
Buckle up. This is gonna be a bumpy ride. Prepare to be shocked, horrified, and gobsmacked.
For context the cover art of this book caught my eye and then I read the small blurb of a subtitle for it and cringed so incredibly hard that the moment it showed up in my Spotify audio book list, I had to give it a listen for a measly 3 and a half hours of my life while at work.
I regret this decision so very hard.
For further context:
This “author” Alda Dagny has also written books on…”The Secrets of the Nile” a three part series called “The Old Norse Spellbook:”, and “Secrets of Mesoamerica”.
My head hurts from thinking about the gall to “write” on such a wide variety of topics in a seniority form. But before I get ahead of myself let me go back into my proper format for these reviews.
Pros: SOME of the information is right. The mentions of planting by the signs and how the signs works was very accurate. The generalized description of grannies, while very surface level and focused far too heavily on the midwife aspect, which don’t get me wrong is super mega ulta important! Was right if not very generalized. That’s about all I’ve got.
It does mention that Hoodoo is a closed practice that stems from African Dispora/the Trans-Atlantic slave trade which good for this “author”. You will understand why that term is in parenthesis later!
This book also included a Bell Witch mention twice which made my Tennessee heart hopeful for like two seconds.
Cons: Gods help me. For starters, I know this was likely not a choice this “author” made, but why in the seven hells did the publisher pick an AUSTRALIAN PERSON to do the narration for this book? The mispronunciation of Appalachia and Asfidy are now burned into my brain for life. I do not appreciate it. The MINIMUM a narrator should do is glance through for proper pronunciations.
My gripes with the audiobook out of the way let’s get into the meat of this review: The book’s contents and why I believe this was ghost written/stolen from other places and put forward by an ai generated “author”.
The second entire chapter of this book, a whopping 40 minutes of the audiobook, is all about Hoodoo. The real thing that got me was it SAYS that Hoodoo is a CLOSED PRACTICE stemming from Africa Diaspora. And what does this book do anyway? Break Hoodoo down into stupid candle magic and mojo bags and tell you how to do “it”. I was surprised it got the origin of Hoodoo right! It was RIGHT! And then it shits on itself.
Examples: Hoodoo shares similarities with wicca. Tarot is incredibly important to the practice. And it is a religion and not a practice. The practice is “rootwork”. Did I mention that Hoodoo focuses on “doing no harm”? Oh and the third eye is important too, especially to Hoodoo despite it being a Hindu concept. I cannot make this up.
The wording of this book is also incredibly strange. I don’t have a ebook version to double check but I am positive the words Furthermore and However are included at least 50 times. EACH. The book also repeats itself numerous times. A good example is with the Furnace Ghost story it tells in the 4th chapter I believe? Where it repeats the same end of sentence with just slightly different beginnings within the same paragraph. There’s also other phrases used at the end of chapters to usher in the next that just read…weirdly? Examples:
“Let me set the stage” “You are not going to want to miss this.” What are you writing a script or a book?
Now for the proper “Appalachian Magic” side of the book. It consistently uses the term Granny Witch, and states numerous times that witchcraft was just fine! Appalachia did not care and the “fear” of witches never penetrated the mountains. But yet a “granny witch” would use faith not as a proper form of healing, oh no! It was “to keep doubters at bay”. So faith healing was a cover up and not the actual practice itself.
This book also has two whole chapters on legends and myths, which is fine, if it didn’t focus on the ones everyone knows like Bigfoot and Mothman only. Like it doesn’t cover any of the smaller localized things or spirits at all. Just the things you could easily find if you googled “appalachia spooky”.
Hmmmmmm. Strange isn’t it?
This book also stated that tarot and black tourmaline was ULTRA important to Appalachian magic. Like where does that come from? There’s another chapter dedicated to the phases of the moon and “spells” which they mean in a modern new-age witchcraft way and definitely not Appalachian, although I will give it props for saying the moon phases and astrology are different here. Because they are.
Tiktok was mentioned twice; it appropriates dreamcatchers and other Hoodoo items in the “non-Hoodoo” sections of the book. Hell, it even said, accurately mind you, that Mothman has even “spawned fanfiction”. It even got the information on where Roanoke was…wrong. Roanoke is in Virginia. This book claims it is in North Carolina.
The most damning thing however, and I use that however in a very sarcastic tone, is the “author” herself. I painstakingly typed in some text from the book and was surprised to see it come back as “human written”. I don’t think that’s quite true, if it is then they text portions must be stolen from other sources and shoved into a book form. Because this author? A bot.
Her profile image used on Amazon, which is the ONLY SOURCE of information on her, no socials, no google, nothing. Is AI generated. Proof is here:
And a blurb from the book I wanted to include as well. The first of many furthermores used.
The author's Biography, which again is the ONLY SOURCE OF INFORMATION on this supposed person, says as follows:
"Alda Dagny has always been drawn to history. Growing up in Scandinavia, history has always been all around her, gods and goddesses, pagan rituals and spells. Ancient ruins that dot her homeland captivated her from an early age, giving her a lifelong love of all things history. "
That's all I can find. That's it. Just AI and or ghost writing/theft has officially found itself in the AFM space. I hate this society.
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omfg it’s almost midnight here and i have to get up for work at 5 AM but let me compose at least some of my thoughts …
ok idia x robot girl! reader … hear me out 🥺
someone he creates to cure his loneliness of companionship in a tender way that ortho just cannot do; ugh i’m imagining a plain head just sitting on the desk, stripped down to the metal and skinless; him asking which eye color you like the best until it lands upon yours;
the midnight conversations as he builds a body; the pining from the reader (is it actual pining or are you just scraping the edges of desperate self perseverance so he doesn’t trash you like the other models); kind of dream-like transition between adding each body parts (like imagine yourself lying in a tub of ink — cheeks, nose, lips, a slight peel of your forehead visible — and eventually it all drains down as more and more body parts are added);
the first very touch of human flesh upon you; the cracked polystyrene blinks that you give with twitchy eyelashes; you siphon your romantic tendencies between a messy mélange of gritty 18+ hentai and victorian romance novellas; idia pours his damned and tormented soul into making you perfect for him and you pour yourself willingly into the image, designed just for one man <3
past midnight edit:
BRUH TO THIS SOnG
yeah to this fuckin banger
((past midnight edit again: there are really only two ways you can go with robot main characters: the building process or the robot being oblivious and thinking they are human (Ex Machina or Twilight Zone) i enjoy both sooo much))
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