#both of them are implanted in my subconscious

[heich0e]

your door opens, just a crack, and suddenly it's like all of rin's senses sharpen.

his entire attention is focused on that tiny sliver of light that appears inside the edge of the frame. on the scent of you that seeps out around it. his entire world narrows to that centimetres-wide gap.

"you shouldn't be here," your voice isn't soft but it's not unkind either.

he can only see one of your eyes past the chain latch.

"i need to talk to you," rin says, angling himself even closer. there's no space left for him to go—he's pressed as near to the door as he can be, but everything in him is screaming that it's still not close enough.

"itoshi-san," you sound exhausted. too spent to properly convey exasperation. "you shouldn't be here. it's not..."

welcome? right? safe?

there's a number of words you could choose to end your sentence, and any one of them would be justified. but there isn't a single thing that you could say that would convince him to retreat.

rin reaches up, tugging at the neckline of his sweater and turning his chin, exposing his throat to you. the scent patches adhered to the pale column of his neck are apparent.

your eye—the only one rin can see through that little opening around the door—widens.

"i'm sorry for what happened," you tell him, and he can tell you mean it. the sincerity bleeding in your voice is clear and sweet and makes goosebumps prickle on his skin. you're always so prim and polite when you speak to him. maybe a little patronizing, even. you're a few years older than he is, and you've always subtly mirrored the way his older brother treats him, even if it's subconscious. but like this, there's something mouthwateringly meek about you, even though you're fighting to maintain some semblance of normalcy. "i'm sorry that my heat did this. but... i can't help you."

"i just want to talk," he says. unyielding. he can sense your own breaking point drawing nearer. can taste the way you're wavering. "i need to see you. it has to be you."

"itoshi-san..." you trail off, hesitating.

rin. he wants to correct you. you called me rin before. say it again.

he swallows it back.

"can't i come in, just for a little while?" rin asks.

you shut your eyes and let out a shuddering exhale.

the door closes.

for a split second he panics. the beast in his chest thrashes against his ribs. he fucked it all up again. scared you off. this was his chance, he was so so close. close enough to taste it and he—

the chain latch on the other side of the door slides open, and then there you are.

you stand before him with the door held open, enough of a pathway clear now for him to step inside. he doesn't hesitate.

the speed at which rin crosses the threshold seems to startle you. he sees it in the way your body tenses, at the way your fingers twitch against the edge of the door. theres the subtlest shift in the way you smell—a deeper, slightly sweeter note.

it's amazing what your body is capable of. rin has been reading non-stop about the chemistry of pheromones in the past few days, poring over any resource he could get his hands on to try and wrap his head around the war that was raging inside of him. desperate for any information that could make the battle conquerable.

omegas smell sweeter when they feel threatened. a biological defence mechanism seeking protection. an unconscious plea for mercy.

he feels his pulse in his throat.

he watches as you shut the door. you stare at it once it's shut, a hand resting on the door knob, with your back to him.

he inches closer to you.

you smell different than you had a few days prior. not quite as strong. he wonders if you've managed to regulate your pheromones. if you've had your implant replaced. but every inch of the apartment around you both is still drenched in your scent. dripping in it.

rin's crowded against your back now.

"itoshi-san."

he knows you're reprimanding him. knows you're admonishing his proximity. but he can't help himself.

he lifts his hand, brushing his thumb against your nape.

"a collar?"

you shudder when he speaks, and he wonders why. is it because of how close he is? can you feel the heat of his breath against your skin?can you feel the vibration of his voice through his chest? or is it the words, and how accusatory they sound? how disappointed he is?

the collar wrapped around your throat protects your nape and your pulse points. it's subtle—less flashy than many of the collars he's seen omegas parading with—but undeniably sturdy. it looks expensive.

there's a spark of something bitter, something envious, igniting in the pit of his stomach.

he doesn't ask who bought it for you. he doesn't need to ask.

rin dips forward, mouthing at the material protecting your nape.

"rin, no—"

your body thrashes slightly, as though trying to wrench yourself away. but there's nowhere for you to go. not while he's crowding you against the door like this. not now that you've let him in.

"just a bit longer," rin mutters, and then laves his tongue against whatever exposed skin he can reach. "just a little more."

you're stiff but your resistance eases.

he knows you must feel some sense of guilt over this situation. a sense of culpability for how things have ended up. you're too sympathetic not to. you've always been kind to him. too kind, he thinks. likely to make up for his brother's coldness.

maybe that's why you stop fighting him off.

the scent patches are less effective from this distance, and were already somewhat ineffective against the strength of his pheromones. he's a strong alpha, just like the rest of his family, and his rut still hasn't fully subsided.

modern medicine hasn't yet found a solution for a situation like this one. when you start to slacken a little bit underneath him, a shiver of pleasure wracking your frame, rin feels a little grateful for that.

his fingers reach up to grasp your hips, dragging you gently back against him. as your bodies press together, a little gasp slips from your lips.

"rin—"

there it is again. the third time you've said his given name. a gust of pure oxygen to the flame building in his gut, feeding it so it can grow. rin noses against your temple, shushing you gently. he dips down so his teeth can graze the shell of your ear.

he uses every ounce of strength he has to fight the urge to sink his teeth in.

"i'm just touching," he says, his voice low and hoarse and desperate. his hips grind against you unconsciously and you pitch forward, your hands bracing flat against the door for support.

the way your knees are trembling makes your own weight press back against him. he wonders if you know how good you smell right now. how quickly and terribly your pheromones are blooming from your skin.

his grip on your hips tightens as he pants against your temple.

"just touching is okay, right?"

[seneon]

I LOVE YOUR HEADCANNON OF DABI PUSHING YOU WITH HIM FROM A BRIDGE AAAA I NEED MORE STUFF LIKE THIS I’M BEGGINGGGG

COME AROUND ──── touya todoroki.

about. he gambles with life and death using you. gn! reader. apart of kiss me until my lips fall off. wc of 800+

notes. omg people wants my hcs to be written in full fics 😳 keep sending in requests guys. @bbluefllame type shi

the night is young, the city below shone a wonderful show of bright lights that seemed like fuzzy little balls to you.

gentle wind blew kisses onto the skins of both you and touya. your hair swayed along the flow of the wind, touya's own hair danced a little to his dislike.

above the two, the moon watched as it showered its silver and ethereal hues all around the city, giving it a magical feeling. or like a selenite blessing to the night from heaven.

stars accompanied the moon, millions and millions of them dancing around the moonlight and showering the black sky with twinkling diamonds.

it was truly a beautiful sight to behold on a night like this. it's also indecisive to you whether you want to fix your gaze onto the city, or the moon.

much to the villain's surprise, you were oddly silent when it came to staring into the night sky or gazing down the busy night city. just gazing at the stars alone made him wonder what connection could you possibly have with the night to hold you under so much control.

truth is, you were a selenophile, someone way too in love with the moon to have it ignored every night. stargazing and moon-gazing were one of your hobbies besides causing trouble for others. the night simply had so much influence on you.

touya is seated at the edge of a tall building which he somehow managed to sneak in with your help. turquoise eyes looked down at every little life below, his hair dancing in the wind. while you're beside him standing on your feet, arms propped onto the only thing that blocks you from kissing the start of your death.

you let out a sigh and he catches it, glancing to the side and looking down at your bored self.

“what? getting bored from staring at the moon now?”

“yeah. what exactly are we up here for again?” you asked him to recall anything that might've been mentioned but slipped through your mind because honestly, you have no idea why you even agreed to help him sneak up a building that's just a little taller than the rest.

at your question, touya shifted in his seat, now moving to stand at the edge in resemblance to a circus show as you watched him in complete silence.

“stand up here,” he tells you— well, demands you, while you simply raise a brow at his words. “are you crazy? do you want me to die?”

“crazy, yes. dying, no. get up and stand with me anyways.”

you could see him rolling his eyes and feel his coat flowing backwards and flaring right beside your ear as seconds passed by. you hesitated, for a long while, before you let out a defeated sigh and joined touya in his life or death game.

it brought a victorious smirk on his face, a smirk so triumphant that it has you thinking more than twice about your life choices.

“you're not gonna die. i think,” his words echoed throughout your ears as it played through the image of you walking on a thin string just like the one circus performers will walk on without failing.

touya's hands slithered around your waist, pulling you close to his body as you stumbled a little in your foothold, the sudden fear of heights kicking in as shivers immediately made their debut to implant themselves onto your skin.

“oh. my. god, don't do this to me.”

only a chuckle elicited from his lips as your hands subconsciously moved to hold the man’s torso.

without a single warning, you felt him pushing the small of your back, bringing you down and over the edge as he pushed his feet off the ground. now, it is just you, touya, and your screams that echoed through the night. and of course, the physics of falling right into the surface of your death.

in those few seconds of you screaming, your screams twisted into a cheerful cry.

touya held you close, glancing to the side as he watched your fears slowly disintegrating along the wind that ran past the two of you upon falling. he too, felt the need to let out a few laughs here and there to relish in the thrill of gambling with life and death.

in about twenty seconds or so, once the surface nears the two of you, the villain used a fair amount of his blue flames to shoot it on the ground, pushing him backwards so he can have a safe and perfect landing with you in his arms.

now seated on the ground, dumbfounded and dazed from the near-death experience, you let out a stifled laugh before your faded fears returned.

“never do that again!”

“you looked like you had fun,” touya simply said, swinging his hands around to put out any remaining flames.

“you're trying to kill me!”

“we'll die together then.”

“yeah, that's sooooo romantic.”

you rolled your eyes and stood up, brushing your clothes before shivering once again at the replay of the experience in your mind. “at least warn me next time.”

touya let out a scoff then a tiny smile. “i knew you'd come around to the idea.”

© SENEON 2024 ♱ do not repost, alter, or translate.

[cassieoz]

Here is the full story , I called it the perfect host

Computer log 22 - subject has display no signs of pregnancy but we will continue to track them  progress before run another implantation treatment on them.

Breeding unit on Deta ship a common area that many ships that held host for new lifeforms to be born. Currently The Deta ship breeding program only house 5 to 6 host all human and all been taken to become host . Doctor Ein and their team were busy keep the host under so the newborns could grow without stress the host body out . “Host number four is carrying twin make sure we give her lot of iv nutrients as to help the pregnancy “,she said to her team .

Doctor ein look some what human beside looking taller than the average human and her three fingers.  She turned to see subject 2 the newest host watch her as they struggled to get free from they bindings . Doctor Ein move town the subject and then said “sh..you safe now back to sleep you shouldn't be awake but don't fear ,my dear you in good hand “

“No, don't put me back under” ,my mind scream.  “Damn it get off of me “,my mind scream as nurses of doctor Ein held me down while I once again was put under . 

“Make sure that this subject is give another dose in an hour “,said doctor Ein as a colleague of her walk in . “What about alternative reality room . Make the house think they are experiencing something else while the baby grows that way the host can't pull themselves out of that “. 

“I could try it but I never had a subject wake up before “,said doctor Ein.  

In my mind I felt body laying on the cold table before a small movement in my stomach made me feel sick but it fade as the drug kick in again 

Doctor ein rush on night when one of the subject gave birth at night . The subject awake crying out for pain as the baby inside them move out of the host body and onto the table . The host body began to leak milk as the nurse clean the baby before letting it latch on the host.  “Move the newborn to the nursery and take the subject to the reset pods tell they are needed again . 

The nurses obey as they wheel the crying and screaming subject.  

Computer log - subject implantation failed.  Retry in a few weeks.  Going to see if host body will take implantation if they are stimulate and aroused.  Will documents if they factor help . 

As the pod of subject pregnancy grows doctor ein is worry about subject 2 as most of the other host had taken their pregnancies and role but not this one they had fought most way to be implanted . 

You body could feel the cold tools could begin to open your legs as another tool went inside you and move though the birth canal before digging itself in your  cervix where it push itself into your  egg then began to fill your cervix with a cool gel before move out of inside you. Your subconscious heard the voice said “hopefully their body accept it this time ,give them something for pain then make sure they keep comfortable “

As time pass doctor Ein confirm the pregnancy and wrote down . Computer log subject 2 is pregnancy and body seem to adjusting well will continue to monitor progress as the pregnancy is still new “

Month one notes - the host was place on both higher iv nutrition since the baby isn't gain the weight we want . Subject two also awaken again this time fron morning sickness.  

You awake as your body throw up liquid as the unhuman creature clean up up and place you back under before you can protest. 

Month two - baby weight is good . Well continue to watch.  

Your belly showing starting to swell and stretch.  

Month 3 -nothing new 

Month 4 - host belly is growing and her first milk is showing sgin of coming in . Baby heart beat is good as well their size . 

Month 5 -host awake again this time was able to are make it to a pod before being put under again .

You awake and began pull the iv out and get free of the straps before see how big your belly was then ran down the hall toward what you hope was freedom. You fought the Guards as they injected you to put under again . You kick and claw to get free before the drug take effect

Month 6 -baby is growing at a health rate and size. This baby looks it first live hybrid we have .

Month 7 -normal process nothing to document.  

Month 8 - nothing to document since the host body is near her due date. 

You awaken this time in pain as you feel wetness between your legs . You cry out in pain not sure what going on . The creature and the others rush in and said “subject two water broken , subject have small contractions so began the induction procedure by began to giving a dose of Pitocin”  once the drug to effect you felt like your belly was on fire from the pain . You whole body was screaming to get this creature out . You body sweating as labor was progress slowly . 

The creature look at you and check your cervix and said “not long now just breathe “

You let out scream as the contractions come again “get this thing out of me …ah 

..”.  

Doctor Ein said “we give you something for the pain soon but try to relax as any drug will only alow it down “ 

Couple hours later . You felt the pressure build again as what felt like a head press against you as you cry out in pain . “You are crowning ,push “

 

You follow the creature order began to push as the pressure rises once more before falling off as you feel the baby move down and out . 

Doctor Ein move to help the baby who is more aware then most baby and move up the host body toward it breast to began to simulate the milk and began to nurse .

“What a remarkable sight this is , they are the first hybrid to be this aware meaning that it seem our DNA had enhanced the human awareness “

You scream as the creature move up your chest and began nurse off of you . You then feel the red hot pain again.  

The creature look at you and said"you crowning again push my dear “

You push as another creature come out of you and it too climb you to nurse you . 

The doctor smile watch it and said to the team “take subject two to the pod room allow the babies to nurse from her and make sure she is give another another couple of dose of drug to make them immobile and keep them hook to iv tell the baby are able to be ween . 

You spend what feel like forever we both the small hybrid nursing off of you and the doctor and their staff coming in to check on you .

Doctor Ein walk in and said “both baby are still active nurse off the host and the host had them a six week ago which would be the the end of the reset time but since they cant reset I would like for us to see about testing way to boost their milk to hopefully make the babies to ween in the next few weeks so we can began to breed her again to see if she birth another hybrid with this hyper-awareness . 

You watch as the doctor began to stimulate your body to make you feel aroused as your milk began to flow out and you let out moan in pleasure as you feel your jump from nearing climax the hybrid move off your body . And began show that they ween off of you . 

Doctor Ein said “keep them aroused tell I return “. 

Doctor Ein walk to another laboratory on the ship and said “Doctor Quill, do you have any subject that I could borrow for my project .I like to test what happen if my subject mate with one of our kind . Their last two offspring were hyper aware like or our children when they are born and so I want to see if their next offspring would also “. 

“I have someone in mind but if this work we must then run test of why this human can make these rare offspring vs the other host “. 

Doctor Ein said “hurry I have her ready for mating so send your person down quick since I don't think we can keep her on the edge for long “

Back in the exam room you feel yourself going mad from the hyper arouse you feel . When you spot the creature you try to make your body move but you can't.  

The creature smile as it move on top of you and began to mount you . The creature began to thrust into your cervix each time make you letting out moan . 

“No”, you scream inside you mind as you watch the horror of being rape by these creatures . You wish for this hell to end to go back to freedom of being a normal human not some incubator for this thing .

The creature thrust against you again and again before release it seed into you and the doctors around have the creature stay inside you tell they could injected you with a dose of another drug .

You pass out from the mating and when you wake up you back to being hook up to iv and on the cold lab table lock to it with now a large group of doctor and nurse looking running tests and check every inch of you to see what make your body the perfect host . 

You are a great writer - keep writing!

[icycoldninja]

reader comforting raiden during a panic attack? feeling some hurt/comfort mood and wanna see my guy again... (and cos i love the way you write him!)

Yes, yes! Enjoy!

Safe with me (MGR!Raiden x Reader angst/fluff)

Raiden had been through a lot in his life, from being used as a soldier when he was just a little boy to commit heinous crimes, to having his brain and spinal cord surgically removed, then implanted into a cyborg body against his will. He'd suffered a great deal, and as a result, had developed quite a few mental issues, including DID and anxiety.

DID was one thing; Jack the Ripper could easily be kept at bay as long as he turned on his pain inhibitors, but his anxiety was another thing. When he saw certain things, or heard about certain things, or was reminded of certain things, he couldn't help himself but worry, and when he worried, he began to feel the panic creeping over the edges of his consciousness.

Such was how he felt now, having returned home from a particularly harrowing mission. He'd had to rescue a group of children being transported across the country to serve as child soldiers for some despicable organization. Seeing those poor, starving, clearly traumatized yet so determined children reminded Raiden of himself, and for a moment, he wasn't a tough cyborg, but rather, a terrified boy who just wanted to go back to his quarters, curl up with his teddy bear, and cry until someone came to get him.

That's what Raiden did after freeing the children; he went home, headed straight for his room, and sat on the edge of the bed, his knees drawn up to his chest. He felt so scared for some reason, so frightened and tense. It was unbecoming of a professional such as him, but professionals are still human, aren't they?

You ended up walking in on the man shivering on the bed while hyperventilating and clawing at his own metal legs, his one visible eye wide and shaking with fear.

"Help me," He was whimpering, thrashing about like he was tied down. "Please help me...someone...anyone..."

It hurt you to see the man like this. He'd never been one to Crack under pressure, normally being very calm and always having at least an idea of what to do. To watch him shake and beg for help like an ordinary victim was both jarring and heartbreaking.

"Raiden, Raiden, I'm right here," You told him, rushing over and wrapping your arms around his shuddering shoulders. "I'm here, baby, I'm here. It's ok."

Raiden sucked in a deep, trembling breath, and clung onto you with all he had, his terrified expression clearly stating he was not in his right mind.

"Don't let them hurt me," He pleaded, clutching your arms so firmly, his claws dug into your skin.

"I won't," You assured him, pulling him closer to you, pressing his head against your shoulder. "You're safe, Raiden, safe with me."

He probably didn't hear you, since he didn't seem to be aware of where he was and what he was doing, but his body subconsciously relaxed and seemed to melt into your embrace. His mind might not be aware of it, but his body was--his heart was. He was safe with you, and always would be.

[aloyiouis]

elaborate on the motherhood

regarding motherhood and p3? Sure. I’ll use minato as a name, typing hero for too long gets annoying. general p3 spoilers as we continue.

first, we’ll seperate motherhood into two concepts. childbirth and maternal presence. childbirth is the process of becoming a mother. maternal presence is the aftermath. sometimes both can fit under the word, sometimes only one exists. it’s interchangeable. keep this in mind.

let’s skip to our awakening. to my knowledge, every persona awakening so far has only resulted in one being summoned. this is an unspoken rule of the world, so when minato presses the evoker to his head and calls to orpheus, things seem relatively regular.

until, minato starts to scream.

something is inside orpheus. and it wants out. the embodiment of minatos soul twists and contorts to fit this Thing inside of him. and then, it rips out, tearing orpheus to pieces.

orpheus’s head lurches back in a screaming position as the rebirth of death occurs.

“birth” isn’t just a means of granting life. it weighs heavily on the mother, irreversibly changing her entire body structure. you can never be the same after giving birth, you tear upon a wound that cannot be stitched together. birth is painful and life altering.

but, surely this is ridiculous. childbirth, seriously? there’s something missing here. the child in childbirth? where is the child? that thing is a strange and terrifying monster, where on earth is the-

oh, right. hello pharos. he arrived along with this being. it probably means nothing. they’re totally not the same fucking guy.

afterwards, minato passes out from exhaustion, and takes a long while to recover whilst in the hospital. for minato, carrying death was painful and life altering. since now, he can never be the same.

(this is personal input, but due to the mature appearance of mituru’s persona despite being 8 years old at the time during summoning, i think it was subconsciously filling in the lack of maternal presence. again, personal interpretation.)

moving on. we first meet minato, yukari, mitsuru, junpei and akihiko. minato had a mother, but she was slaughtered in an accident. yukari has a mother, but complications exist between them. mitsuru and junpeis mothers also seem to be out of the picture. i presume they’re dead, but i could be wrong. akihiko’s adopted, and his current ‘mother’ doesn’t seem very relevant in his life. either way, they’re all clearly lacking parental supervision in the dorms.

after speaking to the chairman (the only present adult currently) minato is now part of a group fighting against shadows, referred to as SEES. in other words, you’re a child soldier now. congrats! usually children with more stable support systems and family dynamics would be less vulnerable to such things. maybe if minato had a mother, she should see through the chairman’s lies. maybe he would’ve been protected. but he doesn’t. but he does now have a child that now visits him every full moon. maybe with enough love, pharos could grow to be unlike minato.

we are further introduced to other members of SEES. fuuka. her home-life exists behind closed doors, and she can’t wait to be rid of it. she does not speak of her mother, and that says enough about her. aigis. she was created by scientists. ken, a presumably bastard child with a single mother. he was orphaned after she was killed in an accident. and shinjiro is another orphan. Mother’s Day must be a blast for this mob.

the first death of the series to due to maternal presence. well, more like a lack of it. after shinjiro killed his mother, ken has been left alone. suicidal in primary school. poor thing. he would be happier if she was still here. he devises a plan to avenge her. in the end, shinjiro dies. but he is instead killed by strega.

strega is in a similar boat to SEES. if they had mothers, perhaps they could’ve been spared from this mess. instead they were experimented on, and implanted with beings that destroy them from the inside. hm. sounds familiar.

time passes. shadows of the arcana are defeated as something else grows. tartarus is described as a nest of shadows. it’s like an anthill. but we are yet to the see the mother, the queen. pharos leaves, says he’s remembered what he has to do.

we are then introduced to ryoji.

ryoji. he’s a masculine ladies man. bit odd at times, but well adjusted. sweet thing that seems to be made with pure love. a glaring contrast to the current state of SEES. but let’s not kid ourselves here. we know what ryoji really is. but he doesn’t.

death is a constant throughout the narrative. you can sort it into two categories. the death of a loved one and Death. the Death that Tartarus is built to host, the Death is the part of the moon, the Death that tore apart orpheus, the Death holding the contract. The Death extracted from Nyx.

Death calls himself ryoji mochizuki. and she is the avatar for the maternal being.

Nyx, the planet eater. referred to by feminine terms since a deity that caused creation of humanity and all cognitive beings can’t be masculine. men cant be mothers. according to the scientists, at least.

either way, this Death that has plagued the narrative has a label. and she is introduced as a mother. it’s contradictory combination. so far, hasn’t this discussion surrounded motherhood being the giver of life? but, persona 3 is about living as much as it is about dying. if you to say to live is to die, wouldn’t you say the same about birth? to be born is to die. you come from Her, and you will return to Her.

ryoji wears a scarf. it’s often joked to be random, but i think it’s supposed to look like a nuchal cord. for those unaware, a nuchal cord is when the umbilical cord wraps itself around the babies neck during pregnancy. although rare, it can result in strangulation. i think this is meant represent the only way he can be killed. which is by the being that created him.

the fact ryoji can only be killed by minato speaks for itself. minato had a entity that placed inside him as a child, and that thing will kill everything on this earth. Death ruined his entire life, placed a limit on his lifespan. Death is a parasite that makes him weaker by the day. nonetheless, minato holds no ill will to Death. so he spares him.

the final boss battle. the final cry. we meet ryoji, or what’s become of him. or her. you cant really tell anymore.

one unspoken point ive held though this entire post is pregnancy is a form of body horror. motherhood is a form of body horror. it can still be a beautiful and nurturing thing, but it all falls down to what you make of it. sometimes it is a role you do not want.

ryojis body is contorted and twisted into something barely recognisable. nyx avatar is primarily referred to as a she. although, she still has a flat chest and a deep voice. we see a character that was introduced to us as a child, now be fully ‘grown’ and now called Mother.

the inside the moon, you’re met with a being labelled as pure “Death”

to match the avatars avian appearance, the final fight of this game is between minato and an egg. it’s a perfect final form. i don’t have to explain to you what an egg means at this point, it’s the representation of birth of all life.

i could end it there, with the primordial mother of all life and death herself being presented by an egg. but i still have some things to about minato. as i keep repeatedly stating, by holding death minato was forever changed. and finally by the end of the game, he dies.

and he becomes a massive door at the ends of the universe, with six massive eyes. again, he will never be the same. if he had never created Death, if he had never held Death inside him, he would’ve lived. but in the end, like a loving mother (and The Universe, now protecting the world that nyx created), i don’t think he regrets a thing.

[chaifootsteps]

I was plagued with an atrocious dream and now I shall subject it to you so you can join me in the pain.

The dream started off with normal shenanigans. I was on some sort of family trip and playing a crane game, until I saw a Helluva Boss advertisement and was transported to watching the show.

Blitzo’s horns turned out to be hair or rubber or something and deflated, unraveling like braids. He went to visit Loona and Verosika, who were in some weird Wild West cowboy town, and both of them were pregnant. They were filming videos of a… certain nature.

Stolas was also pregnant, having stole Millie’s baby with magic and implanting it in himself, and Blitzo had to comfort him while also dealing with his weird deflated horn issue, which was now causing him pain.

Also Vinny Vinesauce was there and he was revealed to be extended family of me.

I don’t know what this says about my subconscious.

That's absolutely horrifying, but at least Vinny Vinesauce was there!

[autistic-crypt1d]

X-Files Live Blogging:

Season 1

Ok so I'm like 90% sure I've tried to watch the first episode before and bailed but I'm gonna try again. I see so much stuff about this show on here and I wanna be a part of it so you're gonna join me in experiencing it for the first time!

Updates:

- ok so far this is not at all what I remembered so high hopes

- Scully!!

- I've seen these two in so many drawingssss

- man this show is old old

- they're both so pretty

- why is bro so mad, if he's so confident he didn't miss anything why is he mad they're taking a second look? Not a good look my guy

- OOP

- oh wowie that is grossss

- ok this is cool I like this show

- why is it always POURING in old ass shows. Like it's dumping BUCKETS.

- ah man not a damn shower scene

- oh ok, valid reason

- THEY'RE SO CUTE

- THE HUG

- ooooo backstory timeeee

- this is getting good oh wow

- yikes, Scully don't call people vegetables

- I really hope this show doesn't have tooo much yikes stuff. I know it's old but still some shows are a bajillion times worse than others.

- holy shit that subconscious movement towards her???? AHHHHH

- the produce section???? Good fucking god people

- if he knew it was Billy why wouldn't he cuff him to the bed or have him in a secure room or some shit???

- wtf just happened

- alright wtf is up with tall lanky man he's weirding me out

- yoooo they have more of those implant things!!

- ok I still don't understand some things about the case. Why were all the other kids killed when Billy brought them to the woods but not the last girl? Why was she spared and both her and Billy's marks removed?

- Deep Throat, hate that title omfg

- pffft those MIP outfits look ridiculous, and so are their momements omfg

- long ass intro geez

- pffft the way Mulder just drags her out of the car

- that little smile!!!

- it's so weird seeing seatbelts attached to car doors

- is that Colonel Makepeace from Stargate???

- Mulderrrr don't go without Scully you dumb dumb!!

- please don't step on a landmine

- oh shit alien ship

- see this is why you need Scully, who's gonna verify what you saw now

- ah yes, run along the road where the cars can follow you, definitely not back into the grass where it would be difficult to follow

- Scully is gonna kick your asses for kidnapping him

- OH SHIT

- GET HIS ASS SCULLY

- HERE SHE COMES, PREPARE TO BE WHOOPED

- aw Mulder :(

- she's trying so hard to protect him

- damn I really like this show

- Squeeze

- oh wow hate that, creepy eyeballs in a sewer

- I recognize that business guy, he's been in another show I've watched, Psych maybe?

- not the ketchup blood XD

- sorry I gotta skip the into, that shit is so long

- that's where the "spooky? Do you think I'm spooky?" audio came from?????

- boy howdy vent guy is creepy

- the necklace grab??? HELLO????

- YEEESH those damn eyes dude

- oh boy he stretchin

- YOU TELL HIM DANA

- woah they just mentioned 2023 as the distant future that's wild to hear in 2024 haha

- that brown pantsuit Scully is wearing??? WOW

- hey now, don't be grabbing Scully you slithery fuck

- Colton you suck

- DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT SLITHERY BASTARD

- LEAVE THE HOUSE SCULLY WHAT'RE YOU DOING

- nice work team

- aww the retired guy finally got closure 😭

- THE SOFT ARM TOUCH

- uhhhhh idk that that cell is good enough y'all

- I don't like that grin he's got, he's gonna escape isn't he

- Conduit

- sleeping outside with no tent??? Girl what about snakes and ants and things???

- she put her children out there while she slept in there camper??? Wtf???

- THE LEAN INNNN

- man that lake is gorgeous

- did the sherriff really just scratch his damn chin with evidence

- intense Mulder, oof!

- wooooaaaah that code page thing of Ruby is so cool

- ahhhh I love Mulder lore

- that tackleeee, nice moves Mulder

- why is she doing CPR if she's just unconscious??

- AHHHH dude the way Mulder gently directs Scully with a soft touch, BRO

- I can't get over the fact that his first name is Fox

- Dana has looked fantastic in literally every outfit so far, she's so cool

- geez y'all the tape is so sad wtf

- "I want to believe" OW OW OW OW OW

- Jersey Devil

- oh wow I haven't heard Bingo in a long ass time

- is that Bill Lee from Stargate??

- oop, Bill Lee hath been taken

- y'all, the way these two look at eachother??? And how close they get?? CONSTANTLY?? BRUH

- aha! She thinks he's cute!

- oh hey it's that asshole scientist from Eureka

- I recognize the guy who plays the homeless man helping Mulder but idk where from

- Mulder. Mulder please why do you always do these things alone

- I'm sorry I cannot take you seriously handing that guy that goofy ass drawing

- good god dude it's a first date why are you talking about her meeting your kids

- not the bigfoot with tits picture 😂

- ya know, I really appreciate the ranger being on their side in this

- ah it's those damn MIP guys again

- Anthropologist dude rules for not selling them out

- damn he really just leapt out that window

- oh she did too damn!

- run!!

- OOP

- so they're just cannibals? Nothing supernatural?

- THE GRAB AS SHE LAYS HIM BACK OMFG

- oh boy it's gettin wild now!

- that poor actress having to climb all over rocks while naked

- aw man :(

- I would've expected long nails considering she's been clawing into people

- the red plaid suit??? Hello??? GORGEOUS

- why would that Rob dude ask her to get her friend's kid to go hang out with him and his kid???? Bro is weird

- uhhhh that's the dude from the beginning, didn't his leg get chewed off my the male?? I'm confused because that was most definitely the guy from the beginning.

- Shadows

- the woman packing up the office looks really familiar too

- ooo, ghost??

- there's no ads on this episode, weird

- eew I do noooooot like the twitching

- why tf are they all blank facing them

- the way he leans in to speak to her heeeeeellllpppp

- ok so the woman who got attacked is alive

- AHHHHHHH CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY

- hell yeah ghost, stop that creepy perv!!

- did Mulder just look at her ass when she sat down?? He did a whole ass lean and everything!

- awww Mulder wanting to go to the liberty bell with Scully 😭

- Ghost in the Machine

- Brad dude is from Eureka!! Funnily enough the company is called Eurisko, really close

- Mulder. Buddy. You did not just call and elevator politically correct for being accessible to the visually impaired. That's just accessibility, nothing political about that (or at least there shouldn't be).

- Lamana, you suck

- yeah Mulder you tell him!!

- noooo don't back down :(

- is that Harrison Well's house from The Flash???? Am I imagining this??

- oh my god no I just googled images of it, that's the same house!!!

- uh oh, he's gonna die isn't he

- ah crap Mulder thinks Brian did it doesn't he

- he doesn't!!! Phew

- GEKDJDJS I THOUGHT THAT WAS GONNA BE SO MUCH WORSE OMFG

- secret agents Scully and Mulder let's goooo

- uh oh

- why tf is there debris in the vent system. Whose receipts are those???

- OH NO

- MULDER DO SOMETHING

- BRUH

- LET'S GO SCULLY

- biiiiiiiitch nooooooooo

- Ice

- why does bro have 2 identical boob cuts, 1 on each. They also look very unrealistic.

- what in the fresh hell is happening

- the duo is goin to Alaska!

- there's some funky virus in the ice isn't there. Reminds me of that one Eureka episode

- GET HIM SCULLY

- he is so not gonna be ok

- EEW

- oh yeah he dead

- nooooo sports guy 😭

- man I hate Scully and Mulder being on opposing sides :(

- AHHHHH NOOOOOO

- this isn't gonna be the end of it is it

- this show really doesn't do closure closure does it, every episode is just like, welp it could 1000% come back

- Space

- ooooo spaceeeee

- I recognize the ex astronaut security guy from something

- MAYBOURNE??? YUCK. Hopefully he's not a jackass in this show

- again with the damn buckets of water on the windshield

- wtf was that????

- aaaaand it's magically not raining anymore. It's not even wet!!!!

- yeeesh him looking in the mirror like that was so creepy

- oh what in the fresh hell is happening to his face

- y'all this is intense!!!

- HELL YEAH

- I don't really understand why the space thing wanted to kill the astronauts

- Fallen Angel

- Mulder in a leather jacket???

- Mulder hiding under a truck and sneaking around a military base like a secret agent while wearing a leather jacket???

- see this is what happens when you go investigating without Scully

- I'm sorry I cannot take Mulder seriously as mr tough guy, he's just so baby

- ah here comes Scully to rescue his ass

- uhhhh is that an invisibility thing

- ow I hate those flashing lights

- ok immune to laser fence thing

- "it won't get away" already did my guy

- or maybe it didn't?

- the face that soldier Jackson is making is rage inducing, please stop

- welp, the entity made my wish come true I guess

- Mulder is so sweet 😭

- y'all the lenses they're using as the pov for the entity is making me sick

- Scully is so sick of this shit XD

- wtf is it doing to him??

- seems like a lot of trouble to go through just to take one human, I wonder why they're doing it

- I wish we got more insight into Scully's thoughts through all this. She's been seeing a loooot of stuff since she got paired with Mulder and given her skepticism, I'd just really like to know what's going through her head in all this.

- Eve

- ooooo, vampire??

- CLONES???

- well, I'm a little confused as to why they're killing them by draining their blood still

- ah ok so the little girls DID do it

- why tf would she try again knowing what the other Eves were like. Why are people obsessed with making perfect humans, what's the point of life if not to learn and grow?

- man they are playing them like a damn fiddle!!

- uh oh

- WHY WOULD YOU LICK IT

- hey now, that better not be who I think it is

- god damn it, it is

- yeesh what an episode

- this show is nothing but cliff hangers wtf!!!

- Fire

- OH

- who tf is that and why is she smooching Mulder

- yes she does hate you, your smooching her weirdo

- where tf do I know her from?

- is that Crowley????

- I couldn't tell with the facial hair before I thought he just looked similar, but without it yeah!

- ahhhhhh I don't like these zoom inssss

- ah yes smoke a cigarette when you have a cough, that'll help

- interesting

- you tell him Michael!!!

- seriously? They can't drive themselves even once??

- I REMEMBER WHERE I KNOW HER FROM. She played the woman that chief Vick set Henry Spencer up with in Psych!!

- BRUH, DO NOT HOOK UP WITH HER

- Scully came anyway 😭

- maybe if y'all weren't MAKING OUT AT WORK, you would've noticed!!!

- you got this Mulder come on

- come on Mulder!!!!

- damn it dude

- so she's been hitting on Mulder the entire time while having an affair with the husband???

- man this guy really gets typecasted huh, first this pyrokinetic serial killer, then the king of hell!

- yes Mulder!! Face your fears!!!

- welp, looks like his cockiness killed him. Do we finally get an actual ending???

- nope he's alive, great

- a hyperbaric chamber?? You mean the thing filled with a fuck ton of oxygen??? So smart, definitely not INCREDIBLY FLAMMABLE.

- Beyond the Sea

- GENERAL HAMMOND????

- Scully's dad is General fuckin Hammond????

- he died :(

- THE FACE TOUCH

- oh shit, is the death of her father gonna be the thing that gets her to believe?

- "he was your father" that really does not answer her question

- I feel like I recognize Boggs from somewhere

- how tf is a prisoner allowed to have earrings. Also, he only had 1 in the first couple shots but now he has 2.

- now he has 1 again? Maybe they just had that one shot flipped so it looked like the other ear

- OOOO MULDER YOU SLY DOG

- OH FUCK

- Scully please don't go in there alooooone what is with these two!!!

- OH FUUUUCK

- dude the guy playing Boggs can fucking ACT like DAMN

- BERNIE, the dude that plays Boggs also played Bernie in Psych!!!

- HELL YEAH SCULLY

- it's so compelling to see what Mulders limits are in his belief, that he can blind himself to things he would ordinarily fight for others to see because of his history with the person

- she didn't go??

- he's trying to convince her to believe now? He's been denying it the whole episode!!!

- weird episode

- Genderbender

- uhhh I'm a bit scared of what this is gonna be about by that title, fingers crossed it's not transphobic shit and just a shapeshifter 🤞

- ok so yes a shapeshifter, and like, a succubus?

- uh oh

- so I'm guessing these people adopted this way of life to prevent hurting people? And this other one that's killing people has gone rogue?

- ah yes Mulder, crumple the map up instead of trying to find a land mark and reorient yourself

- what in the fresh hell

- AHHHHH I HATE THE GOOPY STUFF

- NO NO NO YOU LEAVE SCULLY ALONE

- YOU BASTARD HOW COULD YOU SHE WAS NICE TO YOU

- ok so they each have a male and female form?

- hope that damn farm boy perishes painfully for trying to do that shit

- ah yep, there's the transphobic comment ok.

- SHOOT HIS ASS

- damn it

- rapist aliens, hate it. I'll be skipping this one if I rewatch the series in the future

- Lazarus

- yeesh, I wonder if Scully will end up believing that the guy who came back isn't him anymore

- man they really fell into that pink blood trap from old shows didn't they

- idk how she could deny that that isn't him after this

- damn, that was dark

- Mulder not lushing her to believe either way ahhhhh ouchyyy

- Young at Heart

- uhhhh, what is a prisoner doing roaming around

- UHHHHH WTF

- y'all, Scully is so little 😭 I know Mulder is like super tall but even compared to other women she's little, much less when standing in a room of Mulder height people XD

- oof more Mulder lore, man cannot catch a break

- damn, seeing old fashioned hand writing analysis be done is so cool, even in NCIS, a fairly old crime show, they still use tech for it. Hearing her talk about the markers and indicators is so so neat

- BITCH YOU BETTER NOT HURT SCULLY

- I recognize Dr. Ridley from something...

- it's the time loop guy from Stargate SG-1!!!

- the way young Barnette speaks is rage inducing

- E.B.E.

- oh wow that's quite a ship

- what's with the blue light thing?

- "Mulder you're the only one I trust" BROOOOOOO

- oh hey it's the woman who plays the tech on the Daedalus in Stargate who works with Hermiod!!

- HIS CODENAME IS DEEP THROAT????

- LET HIM LOOK ANYWAYYYY

- of course it's gone

- Miracle Man

- ah man a religious episode

- who tf subjects a child to that

- ughhhhhh

- yeah that's not creepy at all!!!

- gross gross gross I hate it

- the burned guy is the problem right? He's like channeling the boy and taking the lives of those that die? And maybe he's super against the autopsies because "desecrating" the body will undo it or something? Idk I'm guessing here cuz I'm confused

- oh shit Scully is doing the autopsy? Intense, aw man and Mulder is trying his best to be there

- oh ok so that's not what's happening

- uh oh

- ok it was the burned guy I was right!! He just wasn't doing it supernaturally

- oh wow

- Shapes

- oooo cryptid??

- ok so if you get scratched you get infected. It went from Joe to Lyle

- I wonder what triggers a new one once it's killed, cuz there was a distance between the killings in the past

- oh, so it's dormant until a night after the person gets too blood lusty?

- damn it, why is Scully always being left alone with the monsters or bad guys and Mulder is always chasing them alone

- how is she not hearing the loud ass growling sounds

- also, why is there a random ass cougar in a cage

- "something" jumped you?? Really Scully?? There was only one thing in that bathroom

- Darkness Falls

- wow those woods are gorgeous

- I'm very intrigued

- wtf was that shit

- oh my god Scully in that neon coat 😭 she's pretty in everything!!!

- I recognize the sherriff from somewhere

- Castle! He's in Castle

- oh boy, that creepy

- I recognize the Doug guy too

- holy crap it's THAT guy! Man he's like big time now

- ah so they got themselves killed by chopping down an ancient tree, karma

- Steve is the worst, hope he gets taken by bugs

- oh yeah he's done for

- OH HELL

- Tooms

- not the lizard bitch again

- AUGH THE EYESSSS

- who tf left his slot open!! Fools!!!

- Colonel Caldwell?!?!?

- do not release this mf

- Mulder, I hate to say it but that was never gonna fly

- welp, someone is gonna die now

- THAT MUCH SLURPING AND LICKING WAS SO UNNECESSARY AHHHHH

- nice work sheriff, nice work

- OH HELL NO

- bro is not about to come out of a toilet come on

- ok he didn't but he is disgusting anyway

- "Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anyone but you" BROOOOO "if there's an ice tea in that bag, could be love" "must be fate, Mulder. Root beer" THEY'RE SO IN LOVE OMFG

- black car, red interior, so cool

- Mulder's turn to be attacked by lizard guy

- wtf is he doing

- oh

- YEESH

- OH

- oh that is gross, but hey he's finally dead

- Born Again

- psychic kid?

- ok so dead guy is involved? Girl is a medium then? Like ghost whisperer?

- I recognize the Tony guy from something

- oh shit they murdered that dude

- I looked him up, he's been in a lot of stuff I've seen apparently, NCIS, Supernatural, Psych, SG-1, and I haven't seen Law and Order really but I think I recognize him from trailers and stuff

- maybe the girl witnessed the first dude's murder or was nearby? And she could see his spirit or something? Or maybe he just latched onto her?

- oh reincarnation, that makes more sense

- bro really helped murder his partner and then got with his wife

- wtf is that

- honestly this episode is really uninteresting to me

- interesting we got a report by Mulder instead of Scully at the end though

- Roland

- well fuck you ableist scientist dude

- he killed the not mean one :(

- I recognize Roland from something, probably Stargate

- alright well the era is showing here. They're talking about Autistic people like they're inherently stupid, that savants are human calculators who can't even understand what they're doing. I hope everyone who reads this and has or plans to watch this show understands that that is severely false. Autism is a spectrum and being autistic doesn't make you stupid, "unusual" speech and movement aren't indicative of intelligence. And having high support needs isn't indicative of intelligence either!

- poor guy, he doesn't wanna hurt anyone :(

- good riddance Arthur, some brother, taking him over and making him murder people

- He gave her his stars 😭 guysssss

- Erlenmeyer Flask

- wow that is quite a title

- the chase scene and the dude being semi invisible reminds me so much of the Replicator on Earth episode from SGA

- some sort of superhuman project maybe?

- god DAMN Mulder leapt that fence like it was nothing!!

- oooooo Scully is reaching the point of belief!!!!

- yeah a sort of superhuman project! Alien human hybrids

- oh shit they killed the doctor who helped them :(

- ah yes Mulder, go into the darm attic without a flashlight

- OOP

- oh god his face, poor Mulder 😭

- help him Scullyyyyy

- CONFIDENCE SCULLY, CONFIDENCE

- Dana, responsible, rule following, FBI agent Scully breaking a billion laws all for Fox Spooky Mulder

- how tf did she sneak that out of there

- are they gonna shoot him

- YEP

- Scully is never gonna be the same after this, at least she got Mulder back though

- you can't seperate the duo!!!! No!!!

Holy crap Season one was amazing, I'm gonna start season 2 immediately and I'll link it here once it's posted!

Season 2

[soodoonimin]

Weapon X comic to book so far

So basically the first five chapters cover the first 20 pages of the comic. Obviously it gets a little into more details and adds a few things of its own but for each other there are some important things I'd like to point out that makes the book kind of unique so far.

Chapter 1:

So far, this is my favorite chapter, because it sets up A LOT of things we're going to see in the later chapters and it's also just so yummy in the way that it plays with just how utterly fucked up Logan's memory is. Parts of it are pretty faithful to the comic, starting at the Prophecy and using much of the same bits that come from he comics but it also adds something that is just *chef's kiss*

It's another memory of Logan during his CIS days and his first meeting with Neil Langram. The two of them vaguely discuss a mission they're going to go on together then Logan 'wakes up' back at the Prophecy but no quite. Throughout this entire memory he keeps smelling something off, something that's burning his nose, something he constantly describes as vile. As he's about to leave, he sees a news papers headline about a killer and sees a picture and the it unnerves him; he doesn't know why. I think this is for two reasons 1. because I think he's subconsciously remembering who that killer is to him and 2. because I think in this memory Logan is remembering all the unease and tension he felt in the weeks/months leading up to his capture. He was being watched and tracked and for someone who used to be in that line of work but also a mutant with enhanced sense, he knew it but there was little he could do about it (I'm almost positive this will come up later/multiple times in the story).

There's this very specific quote in the chapter that mostly sums what's happening: "We travel into the future every second we live, but no one can go back in time, according to Einstein. Which proved the old geezer wasn't so smart after all."

The way I see this, this chapter takes place in three times:

The past where Logan is subconsciously remembering both his time in the lab and the events that led up to it.

The present-past where he's in Prophecy remembering the past.

And finally the future-past where he loses a lot of time but remains aware enough to remember the present-past. This is memories like his trek through the forest and his fight with Sabertooth.

Another quote I really liked from this chapter is the final one that I think we're going to see from Logan's POV for a while: "Just before consciousness slipped away, Logan felt an odd sense of relief. there was nothing more he could do now. days of running and nights of hiding were over. escape was no longer possible." (this just goes back to my earlier point)

Chapter 2:

Mostly just the experiment and some insight on the other characters from the professor's POV. We get some more names for things, more back story and more of the professor's inner dialogue. Imo not that interesting other than that the book's take on the professor seems to paint him a little more misanthropic and that his goal for what he's doing to Logan isn't necessarily to just create a weapon but also to "master the human mind" and purge it of things he believes to be defects, namely emotions/ free will. (I'm sure this will come up later)

This also explains some of the technology that will be used in the experiment, most notably the REM (Reifying Encephalographic Machine) which is basically an advanced VR device that can also implant and remove memories and in this case, will be used to physically manipulate Logan.

Chapter 3:

POV of one of the guys who actually brought Logan in. Mostly just the POV of someone who isn't looking at this situation from the scientific lens.

Chapter 4:

Is about Dr. Cornelius and how he came to be roped into the program. we get some backstory on him and his work and why he's important to the project, namely his work on suppressing the body's immune system during transplant operations. This chapter basically explains how well thought out this experiment was, in that they knew they'd need to keep the bone alive once it was encases in the adimantium and so they'll be using Dr. Cornelius' nanochips to accomplish this. This is also where they employ the REM, connecting to Logan's mind and essentially attempting to erase him.

Chapter 5:

ALSO REALLY GOOD! So here we get to see the fallout of the REM failure. Logan is experiencing the memory of the mission he had with Neil Langram. it is VERY detailed and takes up most of the chapter. We cut back to the lab where Logan is still in the taken, post spasm/seizure and the scientists are trying to figure out what happened. Carol Hines believes its just a fight or flight instinct but only one person gets it right and that's Dr MacKenzie who says these two interesting things:

"The subject was experiencing random memories, a total recall of some past events, the pangs of birth-whatever." So part of me thinks that this is also what Logan was experiencing in chapter 1, that while yes we while we also got a very clear picture of his mission with Langram, he was also replaying and reliving snippets of the recent past mixed in with this distant memory. His mind fighting the procedure.

"Something was going on inside that head of his. Subject X is not ready to surrender his identity...not yet." Funny especially considering what Logan was feeling at the end of chapter 1.

So over all the book so far is doing (imo) a really good job about being its own thing but also being very faithful to its source material. I think it’s setting up some really good plot points and again (imo) is pretty faithful to Logan as a character. Where the comic is more dream like and flowy, the book seems to be going for a slightly more structured approach (obviously) but again is doing such a good job at the maintaining a lot of that haziness/unease you ought to be feeling when reading this.

[narashikari]

So, a while back I made this theory to counter the one regarding Rinne and Houtaro being siblings.

I think last episode's time shenanigans has definitely debunked the Houtaro-and-Rinne-are-siblings theory, since kid!Houtaro clearly has no idea who Kudo Fuga is, much less acts like he's his father, and vice-versa.

It also debunks parts of my theory, specifically the ones where it was the Alchemist Union that wiped Houtaro's memories of the Chemmies and alchemy (Fuga did that himself), and Fuga giving the Driver to Houtaro because he knew Houtaro's dad (it was because he'd seen Houtaro protecting the Chemmies).

But now we have something of a mystery on our hands....

There's quite a lot to unpack from this ep. For one, Kid!Houtaro somehow has access to that dimension that the Chemmies later brought him to as a teenager. For another, he already seems to have the ability to use alchemy and communicate with the Chemmies.

Now, this could be explained by how he befriended the Chemmies as a child, though we have yet to see how he came into contact with them to begin with. Since that could've happened for a variety of reasons, I'll set that aside for the time being.

What really interests me is this scene.

This line about these goggles... the ones that he turns into his Gotcha Igniter. Specifically, the bit about his dad having goggles that resemble them...

I do have to wonder... why associate Houtaro's new powerup to something about his dad? And one that's so deeply tied with his ability to use alchemy, too (having been created by him as a child using alchemy and being turned into its current form by him using alchemy)?

Even more so since in the present day, Houtaro seems to hold a bit of resentment towards him for not being around more. We know Houtaro's dad is always off on "adventures", which is why he's absent. And yet, the goggles that represent the very reason why he's nowhere to be seen became Houtaro's powerup?

Not only that... but it seems to parallel with what happened to Rinne. She became a Kamen Rider... with a gift from her estranged father, Fuga. And now Houtaro gets a powerup with an item that he associates with his distant father, too? What are the odds of that not meaning anything?

We also find out in this episode that Geryon has the ability to manipulate memories on a massive scale. Not just erasing memories like we've previously seen, but implanting false ones as well, as he claimed that he was the one who made everyone believe Kudo Fuga stole the Chemmies and was a traitor.

And he may be pulling similar shenanigans on Minato (e.g. with how Minato now believes the natural order is to use Chemmies to make Malgams, instead of preventing them from becoming Malgams). Notably, he has also unpersoned Minato from everyone not associated with the Alchemist Academy. "It's like Minato-sensei never existed...."

Putting all of this together... I'm now more convinced that Houtaro's dad was himself an alchemist as well, one that was opposed to Geryon. He paid the price for going against him by becoming effectively unpersoned within the alchemist's society by Geryon.

And he himself was unaware of the unpersoning, because he had his memories of being an alchemist wiped as well. His current wanderlust is maybe him subconsciously trying to find his "Gotcha", aka his alchemy, much in the same way Houtaro was aimless until he (re)discovered his alchemy.

As for Kudo Fuga not knowing Houtaro, perhaps his father and Fuga were not working together at all, but came to similar realizations by interacting with the Chemmies. Both separately came to the same conclusion that Geryon aims to misuse them. After all we know there are alchemists working outside the Union's purview, like Spanner and Kyoka, so Houtaro's dad could be one of them and figured it out like that while Fuga figured it out while he was working within the Union.

Or maybe Houtaro's dad was in the Union, leaving behind enough clues before he was unpersoned that Fuga pieced together the truth.

As for the goggles? Maybe they were part of the equipment his dad used in alchemical experiments (i.e., they were safety goggles). He was so attached to them that even after his memories of being an alchemist were wiped he felt like they were important (hence why he wouldn't just lend them to kid!Houtaro)... much like how Houtaro felt something tugging at his heart when he first met Hopper-1...

[grayve-mistake]

I realized I subconsciously don't talk about my identity or experiences much outside of really specific circles because I've known the judgement people will often pass about it for as long as I can remember. I also think that said judgement is a load of bullshit and I shouldn't be shy about it

So if you've been following me for a while and never pieced it together somehow, hi, I'm Gray, I'm genderfluid and bisexual. I use they/them broadly online because it's easier than updating my profile every day lmao. I consider myself on the nonbinary spectrum because my identity is not strictly confined to a binary label, but this does not mean I don't sometimes identify as a man or a woman. I'm just not restricted to it all the time. I lean more transmasc lately but that could and probably will change with time. Sometimes I don't have a label for what I'm feeling at all and we just gotta roll with it.

Yes, I consider myself both (or either) achillean and sapphic (can we use achillean more it fucks so much harder than the Multi Level Marketing acronym) depending on how I'm feeling. Be normal about it or I'm beating you up with hammers

I'm in a qpr with two (2!!!!!!) acespec ppl and they mean the world to me and I love them very much

I am a working class goth in the south struggling for my survival every summer.

I've also been drawing anime girls for the past 12 years for some ungodly reason so if you want to see that or something go follow me on @sophisticatedpjparty

I have some chronic mental health issues that aren't diagnosed yet but I'm working on it 👍keeping my symptoms and speculations to myself to protect my peace but it does intersect with many aspects of my life and experiences. On a side note do you guys on main like omori do you wanna talk about omori with me do y--

I don't really know what the point of this was, it's 6 am, I guess I just wanted to say it out loud. Don't get to do that too often. If you don't know how to interact with this post just like tell me how ur day was or something. I'm gay as fuck and if any more cis people assume I'm one of them and that I'll side with them on transphobia I'm also beating them up with hammers, and the hammers telepathically speak to you all the things your bullies used to call you every time they hit you. They also say it in your favorite person's voice. Implanted directly into your noggin. Yup

Oh also I'm fat and I stand with the fat liberation movement and if you don't like that. You know the drill. 🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨💥💥💥💥💥💥💥🧠💢

Uhhhhh women and men and enbies and all the weirdos inbetween are hot and you should love yourselves ok bye

[leviiackrman]

25 - 30 for my beloved jody <3

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

Jody has a semi reserved sense of humour. She really likes stupid puns (especially science based ones) but lots of jokes go over her head either because she wasn’t listening fully or she just genuinely doesn’t under stand the joke. Smart people can be quite dense sometimes haha!

She’s not the funniest of people tbf, around her friends she’s a bit more charismatic but generally she just enjoys other people talking/making jokes (when she understands them that is haha)

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

Jody has tappy feet - which comes out for a variety of reasons. When she gets excited/happy she’ll do little jumps and tap her feet, but when she’s anxious she’ll tap them subconsciously. She may sway as well when she’s just slightly happy, just little movements!

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like when they are sad?

Messing up on projects or making ‘bad’ decisions. A lot of her work is dedicated towards supporting her family, so if she makes mistakes, she thinks they’ll be really disappointed in her. Before her implant, she used to be a silent crier - but it would happen quite often. This was mostly cus she didn’t feel good enough and had v low self esteem, which is one of the reasons she opted to be the test subject for her implant in the first place. She gets v reserved when she’s sad, but now that she has the implant, it’s made her more outgoing and confident in general, so when she’s sad she doesn’t hide that she’s upset to people.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Jody is a pioneer for physiological studies, so not a lot scares her. Granted she understands risks involved with her experiments, but as a whole they excite her more than scare her! Her biggest fear before the implant was making her family suffer because she couldn’t support them, but with the implant her biggest fear would be having her powers taken away. The new her is something she always wished she was, but even tho the implant has A LOT of side effects (even ones she’s not aware of) she would still never want to lose it.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective?

I think Jody is a solid mix of both. She’s v understanding but try’s to find logic in these situations. She understands people have different fears for different reasons, but it’s still a matter of understanding WHY for her. After the implant again, she gets more cocky in using people’s fears against them, but after feels v guilty about it afterwards

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

Pre implant: she is stick thin and can’t lift anything. Post implant: she uses her abilities to make exercise easier for herself, so she’s not actually v athletic still, but her powers allow her to be more so. If she were to do a full body work out she would be struggling the whole time and complain at the end that she’s exhausted, with or without the implant lmao

SUPER DETAILED OC QUESTIONS

[notmuchtoconceal]

women tend to resent that i have the choice and the ability to speak my mind when they don't. the truth is they do. they'll just get called bitches or condescended to if they do. i don't get called names, i just get shunned by people who think they're better than me without feeling like they need to explain why. everyone feels rage. nobody is allowed to express it. i think that's cruel. i think everyone suppressing their rage is collectively far worse for the public health than people just suckin up occasionally gettin screamed at. mostly, you don't want to hilariously mislead people with fear tactics. you don't want to implant false theories of human nature which make them crazy. you don't want people so warped by their sensitivities, they're living in self-isolating different dimensions with their own insular logic-traps where hatred feeds into hatred.

it comes down to a lack of respect. a lack of a willingness to see past their own experiences. i've been prioritizing the experiences of women since birth, and while this is right and good when i'm in a good mood and can care for others :-- when i'm in a bad mood and too volatile to expect or accept care, women can just fucking deal with the fact that i and other men have our way of seeing things, our own way of feeling things.

i supported women, encouraged them, helped them talk out their feelings, explained why the bad man was bad, and none of these women could help me lift my own masculinity, helping them was ultimately a way to help myself. none of that shit matters when i'm in a good mood. it's not a pool you can pay into and collect. when you misstep, you're out.

a woman's mind is calculating so many discreet probabilities at once, they're so entangled in the collective emotional psychosphere, having so many relations, they need to rely on cheats and shortcuts.

this is why they're so hyper-sensitive to certain seemingly superficial stimuli. they're not reconstructing a model of the other person's thought process in their head, like a logical man, they're playing back past encounters on repeat and sensing points of tension and danger, rationalizing largely from sense impressions or subconscious attitudes.

men also make assumptions. the male emphasis on logic has its own limitations. this is why men and women need to talk to one another and work out the differences in the logistics of their thinking, but this seldom occurs because each party is too sensitized by past experiences to see what's directly in front of them, and anyway, both people are trying to bullshit themselves to get away from each other anyway, cause nobody wants to give up their freedom and everyone's just looking out for themselves. this is what makes marriageable love so special.

when both parties focus on the other, they merge.

when one party focuses on the other, he gets absorbed.

if you won't love me, i'll absorb you. it's fun, simple and easy.

absorbing you is still love. we both enjoy it. you want to be absorbed and i want to absorb you. it feels good. our attraction is perfect and beautiful.

not all loves were meant to last, bro.

gonna enjoy u as long as i can.

reprogramming him to be loyal to the alpha state

[spicyliumang]

Me starting to realize some elements of Enya’s personality is a mix of Hachi from Nana and Momo from Peach girl 😭

[violethowler]

Me, My Self, and I: An Analysis of the Operation Kuron Storyline

Back when seasons 3, 4, and 5 released on Netflix, Voltron fans were split into two camps regarding what was going on with Shiro: One camp insisted that we were still seeing the same Shiro as the one we saw in the first two seasons, while the other argued that the current Shiro was a clone programmed with the memories of the original.

On the surface, the show’s 6th season appeared to side with the clone theory fans, and I saw multiple people who had argued for it being the same Shiro lamenting because they felt that all the development Shiro had gotten after the end of Season 2 had been wasted now that we knew the Shiro we’d been following since Season 3 wasn���t the real one.

Even then, however, fans who supported the clone theory were upset because they felt that the resolution of the original Shiro’s consciousness being transferred into the clone body was effectively killing off a separate, unique character who deserved to have his own life independent of the original Shiro.

Yet while I could understand where both sides’ complaints were coming from, I never had that same feeling of outrage.

At the time, I assumed it was just because I noticed that it served as a bit of meta commentary on how the original 80s cartoon took two identical looking characters in GoLion and melded them into a single character.

But after talking to @leakinghate​ and @dragonofyang​ a while back, I realized that there was a deeper meaning and symbolism to the whole Operation Kuron storyline that, in hindsight, I had managed to pick up on subconsciously thanks to being exposed to similar ideas in other stories.

And once I became aware of those similarities, I couldn’t help but look back at Voltron and realize that many of the assumptions the fandom has about the details of Clone!Shiro’s story are not actually supported by the show’s lore.

For example, despite the paladins referring to him as such in Seasons 6 and 7, the idea that the Shiro we see in Seasons 3-6 was a clone in the usual sense that we expect from science fiction - that is, being a unique individual made from an existing character’s DNA with their own separate consciousness who develops their own identity and personality independent of the person they were created from - is not actually supported by the show’s lore.

For starters, the only people who use the word clone to refer to the other Shiro are the human characters, who do not have any intel on how “Kuron” was created. Meanwhile, none of the characters who are involved in Operation Kuron use the word clone to refer to him at any point in the series. In fact, even Haggar herself treats “Kuron” and Shiro like they’re the same person when she’s telling him to lead Keith away in S6E05. When you would think that if there was no point in pretending anymore she would at least acknowledge that he’s not the original.

Furthermore, based on what we are shown of the technological and magical capabilities of the Galra empire, it is not possible for Haggar or the Galra to just download Original!Shiro’s memories into Clone!Shiro’s head. Pidge and Hunk speculate in S2E03 about the possibility that the Empire implanted fake memories of escaping in Shiro’s head via his prosthetic arm are part of an elaborate trap. But not only are they proven wrong, but the series never even confirms that such a thing is within the mystical or technological capabilities of the empire.

The Galra military is never shown doing anything tech based with memory manipulation or the kind of brainwashing that would be required to make “Kuron” think that he’s the real Shiro.

Meanwhile on the mystical front, the only person in the empire who is shown doing anything that involves messing around with other people’s minds is Haggar. And the only abilities that we have seen her demonstrate in that regard are:

Looking into someone’s mind and viewing their memories (seen with Zarkon in S3E07).

Using a person as a conduit for Haggar to spy on the person’s allies (seen with Narti in S4E03 and Shiro in Seasons 5-6).

Removing a person’s spirit/consciousness from their body and storing it inside herself (seen in Season 8 with the spirits of the original Paladins).

Forcing someone to comply with her orders and bend to her will (seen with Shiro in S6E04-5, Lotor in S8E06).

Flipping a psychic kill switch and remotely killing someone from a distance (seen with Luka in S8E01).

Projecting someone’s consciousness outside of their body (Seen with Zarkon in S2E03, S2E07, and S2E12).

Transferring a person’s consciousness from one body to another (Seen with Myzax in S1E02 and Prorok in S2E03).

Nowhere does she demonstrate the ability to create an exact copy of a person’s memories and personality that can then be implanted into another person’s mind so thoroughly that they think they are the first person.

Based on what we’ve been shown of Haggar’s capabilities, the only way it’s even possible for the clone to have Shiro’s memories and personality is for Haggar to transferring Shiro’s spirit into a new body.

Which is pretty much the same thing that we’ve already sen her doing when she creates her Robeasts in Seasons 1-2.

She transfers the test subject’s quintessence from their original body into their larger, robotic one. And her words to Myzax in S1E02 Some Assembly Required indicate that the Robeasts are all meant to remain aware of themselves in their larger form and have all of their memories intact.

Because why would Haggar bother asking if Myzax wanted revenge against Shiro if he wasn’t even going to remember anything after she turned him into a Robeast?

This basically implies that all of the extra Shiro bodies that we saw at the cloning facility in S6E05 The Black Paladins were basically the organic version of empty Robeast shells - lifeless and incapable of independent movement until Haggar does her ritual to transfer the pilot/model’s quintessence into the new body.

And she has previously demonstrated that physical distance from her target is not an obstacle to being able to transfer a person’s soul from Point A to Point B. Because Season 8 shows that Zarkon was one of the spirits trapped inside her mindscape, even though she wasn’t anywhere near the planet he died on in S5E02.

In fact, “Kuron” being Shiro’s soul moved to a new body would also explain how Haggar and the Operation Kuron staff knew to release “Kuron” when they did. How could Haggar know Shiro was missing from Team Voltron unless she already had the ability to locate, and therefore manipulate his consciousness.

But there’s still one question about the logistics and timeline of “Kuron’s” creation.

Because in S6E06, Shiro indicates that his consciousness has been inside the Black Lion since the end of Season 2.

So how exactly could Haggar have yanked his spirit into a new body if he was inside the Black Lion from the end of season 2?

Well perhaps it’s something akin to how Steven’s gem turned into a copy of him when White Diamond removed it in the finale of Steven Universe Season 5.

That even if she couldn’t get his entire soul before he got absorbed by the Black Lion in S2E13, she only needed a fraction of Shiro’s consciousness in order to animate the new body.

In theory, this could hypothetically allow her to split Shiro’s mind into multiple bodies at once, explaining why S6E05 showed that she had made so many extra bodies.

It would also mean that the merging of the two Shiro’s in Voltron was the equivalent of Steven and Pink Steven fusing back together: Two halves of a single individual being made whole again, rather than one character being sacrificed for another.

But if the lore indicates that this is one Shiro with two bodies rather than two separate characters, why does Shiro treat his clone self like a separate person?

In one of my older essays, I pointed out how the visuals of Season 6 frame Haggar reclaiming her identity as Honerva in S6E01 as a parallel to Shiro and “Kuron” being merged in S6E07

Once Honerva goes through her “merging of two selves”, she tries to distance herself from her actions as Haggar, acting like the things she did to Lotor and others were done by someone else.

And her reason for doing that is obvious: she doesn’t want to face the fact that she hurt and abused her own son.

So following the parallels between, Shiro treating his actions in Seasons 3-6 like they were committed by a separate person logically reflects a similar level of denial. 

Like Honerva, he doesn’t want to face the fact that he’s capable of doing the things he did as “Kuron”.

Because Shiro in Seasons 3-6 is not as patient or compassionate with his team. He’s less considerate of others, and focused on his own priorities above everyone else’s.

And Season 6, he physically attacks and in at least one case injures the people he cares about.

Thanks to WEP’s meddling with Seasons 7-8, the payoff where Shiro recognizes and makes peace with that part of himself got left on the cutting room floor.

But the parallels with Haggar helps to at least make it clear what the writers were going for and what the point of this whole storyline was.

I’ve seen multiple people over the years note that Honerva’s transformation into Haggar, particularly the state we saw her in immediately post-Rift and shortly after Lotor’s birth in S5E02 and S8E02, can be read as a metaphor for Post-Partum Depression or something similar.

If you use their status as parallels to apply a similar logic toward the existence of “Kuron,” then the entire clone subplot can be seen as a fantasy representation of how Shiro is affected by his PTSD.

He goes through a traumatic experience and comes out mostly the same as he was before, but slightly off enough that he doesn’t feel right.

He initially hides his struggles and tries to pretend that everything is fine, downplaying what he’s going through. But eventually the strain starts to become too much and he tries to reach out for help, as we saw him attempt with Lance in Season 5.

But as we saw, he was brushed aside and his concerns were not taken seriously.

Without support, Shiro eventually reaches his breaking point, culminating in a fight with Keith in The Black Paladins, where - in contrast with his silent and stoic demeanor when carrying out Haggar’s orders - he repeatedly taunts and antagonizes Keith as if he's trying to goad Keith into killing him.

But Keith refuses to leave Shiro or let him die, and makes it clear in S7E01 A Little Adventure that he will never give up on him.

By refusing to let go in S6E05, Keith demonstrates that he will always support Shiro unconditionally, no matter what. This allows Shiro to finally begin to heal and come back to himself.

He’ll never be the same as he was before, but all the pieces of himself are finally whole again.

As I’ve outlined in older essays, the main theme of Shiro’s character arc is learning to accept that you don’t have to deal with your problems alone, and that needing support from others does not make you weak.

So when viewed in that context, the entire Operation Kuron subplot serves as a demonstration of what happens when Shiro doesn’t get that help and keeps on trying to deal with his problems alone.

TL;DR: While I understand how the idea became so widely accepted, the concept of “Kuron” as a separate character from Shiro is a fan headcanon that isn’t supported by the show’s lore. Instead, the themes and patterns of the narrative indicate that the “clone” is literally Shiro’s soul in a duplicate body, and the whole Operation Kuron subplot is intended to represent the consequences of his reluctance to let others help him manage his PTSD.

[kraviolis]

often times i scare my reflection

(The Owl House)

Rating: Teen Relationships: (All Gen) Hunter & Luz, Hunter & Gus, Gus & Luz Words: 5k Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Alter!Golden Guard, Set During Thanks to Them Timeskip, Protective Golden Guard, Paranoia, PTSD Nightmares, Depiction Of Past Abuse Within Said Nightmare Chapters: 3/3 Summary:

Sputtering for air now that his lungs works again, he leans against the basin with his arms, focusing on the sensation of it trickling down his neck. The cool air turns frigid against his soaking wet face and shirt.

“Belos is dead,” He whispers, wetting his dry tongue with the water dripping off his lips. “He’s dead, and you’re awake. You’re awake.”

AO3 LINK | Chapter One + Chapter Two CW for descriptions of magical torture + non-magical dissociation and paranoia

____________

Dinner is… strange.

Not the food. The food is delicious, of course.

The strange part is the way everyone seems to keep glancing at him when they think he isn’t looking. It makes him almost self-conscious in a way he’s never really been before, but he’s also too sore even after the shower and too hungry to care, really.

The Golden Guard all but scarfs the meal down, trying to eat it before anything gets the chance to interrupt and take it away from him. When they were twelve and had officially passed the trials to become a Coven Scout, it took them a month to learn how to eat entire meals within minutes without getting sick. The Guard would normally forgo utensils all together, they just get in the way for him, but Hunter still had some amount of decorum.

(Truth be told, the royal etiquette lessons they'd been given when they were a child were still implanted deep in Hunter’s psyche. He still raises his pinkie every time he drinks from a cup with a handle, and is so perfectly polite and mannerly at the dinner table that it makes Blight look like a rude slob.)

(Hunter's manners when he's away from the dinner table is a whole different story. The Guard is convinced that the very sight of a meal set atop a polished wooden surface activates something deep in Hunter's subconscious that makes him straighten his back and hold his utensils with a practiced grace that only seems effortless.)

Luz tries to keep spirits high. She really does. It’s an admirable effort but, considering that they had all seen her not even able to walk after getting beat up only hours ago, her jokes were destined to fall flat.

She sits there and picks at her meal with a grimace as Mrs. Noceda talks about contacting the school about their bullying problem. She tried to object at first, saying that it won’t do anything, but Mrs. Noceda and Amity had both silenced her with sharp looks. Willow and Gus had seemed sympathetic with her argument, though. 

After dinner, everyone disperses for an early bedtime, exhausted from the adrenaline comedown. The Guard follows all of their leads and settles down in the sleep sack on the floor for the night.

Gus watches him unsubtly after he willingly forgoes changing into any sleeping clothes. The jeans Hunter put on this morning were more than comfortable enough for him.

“Hunter,” The younger boy says, drawing the Guard’s attention. “Are you… sure that you’re okay? It’s just that… you really did a number on the human that hurt Luz.”

“It was a lesson.” He explains plainly, staring down at his hands. “I was teaching him about consequences.”

“And you think beating someone up like that is a… reasonable method of teaching?”

(“I am only trying to help you. You’ll never learn to succeed if you don’t understand the reality of what failure will bring.”)

“Sometimes,” He starts, his mind somewhere else. Somewhere lined in white and gold. “Being taught something the hard way is the only way a person will learn. Even if the methods seem severe.”

After he says it, Gus just stares at him silently for a long time. The Guard lays down onto his back, waiting for him to just say what he wants to say. 

“This might be too much to ask,” He says slowly, as if trying to soothe a wild animal, and the Guard is already done with the conversation. “But did… did you–?”

“No.” He shuts Gus down and rolls over, turning his back to him. “Goodnight.”

“...Okay. Night, Hunter.”

The Guard hardly even questions the decision to fall asleep, despite the taste of blood and dirt in his mouth. When he closes his eyes, the sound of the ticking clock on the wall melts into the beating of a heart. 

When he opens them, he is in the same place he's found himself in every single night for his whole life. 

He can smell it– that specific combination of polished metal, old stone, burning tree sap, bog mud, and rot . It permeates the room like a cloud of poison and leaves his mouth dry and his shoulders always tense.

Blinking away the darkness from his eyes, he can see the empty throne from his place on the floor. The side of his face that is currently pressed against the floor is burning, the skin layers scrubbed away by friction and already weeping into the warm stone. It’s always so warm here.

“Stand.”

When he tries to obey, it’s like swimming through abomination muck. His arms complain fiercely about continuing to move and his legs tremble like jelly.

“On your feet, Hunter.”

He lets out an involuntary whimper as he finally pushes himself up with his arms, locking his elbows even as they shake violently under his weight.

“Do not make me say it a third time.”

He swallows back the bile rising in his throat as he clings to the pillar next to him, desperately trying to plant his feet flat to the ground. When he stands with his legs under him, leaning against the stone heavily, he finally looks up to his uncle with blurry, fading vision. It's too hard to make out any details, but the green contrasting against the pale of his skin stands out like a raven in a murder.

Belos is holding his staff, the bulb glowing a terrible bright red. He stands across the room, mask off and frowning deeply. “You are making this very difficult, Hunter.”

He swallows the blood in his mouth. Each of his breaths are more like gasps, his lungs desperately trying to keep drawing in air even when each inhale feels like a sharp stab. “I’m sorry, Uncle.”

Belos clicks his tongue at him, frustrated. “Apologies mean nothing if you cannot learn from them.”

“I will– I am.” He rasps, bowing his head to fight the wave of nausea that rolls through him. “I swear. I swear.”

“So you’ve said,” Belos sighs. “And yet here we are, for the fifth day in a row. It makes me wonder if you truly want to–”

“I do!” The room spins. Drool drips from his lips as he fights to hold back any retching. It stains the glossy floor red. “I– I want to, please… please.”

For a moment, neither of them speak any further. The beating of the Titan’s heart fills his ears and makes his already concussed head pound in agony, the deep bass of the giant organ echoing against his skull.

Then, Belos heaves out a great sigh.

“Fine. I will heal you, but just this once.” The Emperor says. A bright red fills his vision and freezes his body in place. “Hold for a tick.”

The red grows brighter and he becomes weightless, his stomach dropping unpleasantly at the sensation. A warmth spreads through him, traveling through his nervous system and digging into his bones. It grows warmer and warmer, his limbs tingling as if waking from sleep. 

It does not stop getting hotter.

Within seconds, the nauseating fever transitions into a sensation not unlike swallowing a cup of pure molten metal. He chokes on the scream begging to burst out of his immobile throat.

Every inch of him feels as if he’s been set ablaze from the inside out, his blood boiling inside his veins and his nerves scorching white-hot across his entire body. The searing pain is agonizing and unending, every second like an eternity as his muscles seize and try to spasm even though he cannot move a single centimeter. The burning torment is unbearable; he would have passed out thirty times over already if not for the spell he's been caught in. The magic forces him to stay awake but renders him unable to do anything but sit there and endure the excruciating feeling of his marrow being broiled inside the bone.

There's no room for words in his head as his heart beats hard and fast enough that his chest expands and threatens to burst open like a birdcage. All that runs through his mind is a desperate pleading for his heart to give out, his lungs to implode, or his skull to cave in under the pressure, if only to just make it all stop.

It ends, suddenly and without warning. The pain is gone in the blink of an eye, leaving his body feeling icy and numb in its absence.

He’s dropped to the floor in the middle of the throne room, landing face down on the dark green carpet. Every inch of him shakes violently in the wake of his torture, but the pain and exhaustion has vanished. This time, he lifts himself to his feet without assistance. His mouth still tastes like copper.

“Better now?” Belos asks him, standing only feet away now. He forces himself to nod, keeping his head bowed to hide his watery eyes. “Now, I don’t want you to become reliant on being healed like this. You must understand, the world will not be as kind to you as I am. You will be forced to either kill, or be killed. That is what I am trying to teach you. Do you understand?”

“I understand, Uncle.” His voice comes out small, quiet. “Thank you.”

There’s a hand on his head, tipping it back to make him look up at the Emperor. “You are too important to lose, nephew. The Titan needs you.” Belos smiles down at him and releases him. “Now, let’s try this once more.”

He watches his uncle take several steps back until he's about twenty feet away, both hands gripping the staff. He swallows thickly and crouches into a defensive stance, bracing himself.

“Oh, and Hunter,” Belos calls from across the room. “I need you to know something important.”

“Yes?”

“This hurts me far more than it hurts you.”

He doesn’t even have time to put his hands up before Belos is already on him, swinging the staff right towards his head–

The Golden Guard wakes with a gasp, and slams a hand over his mouth before his strangled scream could bubble from his throat. 

The waking world slams into him all at once, pulling him from the throne room and back into the dark safety of the basement. He tries to breathe through it, but he can almost feel his veins still burning.

(He can still smell it– the stale air, the mud, the rot.) 

(He can still hear the Titan’s heartbeat pounding in his ears.)

The Guard can feel the way his mind is already beginning to pull away from him again, the seams already coming undone in his hands. He shakes his head and gets to his feet quickly, trying desperately to get a grip before the wallpaper of reality starts peeling at the edges.

With feather-light steps, he nearly runs into the basement's small bathroom. He doesn’t turn the light on or spare even a glance into the mirror, knowing the second he catches a glimpse of his reflection that the ground will fall out beneath him.

There's zero hesitation when he throws water from the tap into his face. The water, icy cold from sitting in the buried pipes all night, clears the static from his vision in an instant and makes him gasp. Sputtering for air now that his lungs works again, he leans against the basin with his arms, focusing on the sensation of it it trickling down his neck. The cool air turns frigid against his soaking wet face and shirt.

“Belos is dead,” He whispers, wetting his dry tongue with the water dripping off his lips. “He’s dead, and you’re awake. You’re awake.”

He splashes his face again and then leans down to drink straight from the faucet. It cools his throat and settles heavy in his stomach, grounding him. 

When he leaves the bathroom, all he can smell is old fabric mixed with something uniquely human and all he can hear is Gus's breathing and the clock on the wall ticking away. He manages to make out the time in the low light– he had only slept for a few hours before the nightmare woke him.

Then, he realizes that he is still himself. Or, rather, the Golden Guard realizes he is still in control. For a moment he considers attempting to sleep again so that Hunter can retake control in their sleep, but he huffs in frustration. 

There is no sleeping through the nightmares. At least, not for him, not unless he wants to spend all night going down memory lane. No, he needs to wait for Hunter to come back. Hunter is the only one who can get enough sleep to keep the body functional.

The Guard sighs again and runs his hand through his damp hair before making his way upstairs, leaving his sleeping palisman behind.

(How it can tell the difference, he will never know, but it’s become increasingly obvious that Flapjack prefers Hunter more. He can’t even understand the palisman whenever it chirps at him, and Hunter’s read enough about wild magic for the Guard to know that means the bird just doesn’t like him.)

The whole house is just as dark as the basement. The only light available comes from the various electronics and appliances scattered across the home and from the streetlamps outside. The yellow gleam filters in through the windows, casting eerie shadows across the walls.

Footsteps light as possible, the Guard walks close to the walls to avoid making the floorboards creak. He paces the whole of the ground floor, clearing corners and checking the locks.

(It’s exactly what he did for the first week or so here. When the nightmares were fresh and sending him into panic attacks every single night, ones that were so bad the two of them ended up blurred together in their head.)

(The Golden Guard couldn’t tell where he’d ended and Hunter began those nights, so they’d resorted to doing whatever they could to assure themselves of their safety until Hunter felt like himself again.)

With the first floor secure, he carefully climbs to the second. He doesn’t risk entering any rooms to check their window locks, but he still peeks in to make sure everyone is safe.

He lingers in the doorway to the girls’ room, watching Luz closely for a moment to make certain she was still breathing; that the steady up and down of her chest wasn’t just the shadows playing tricks on him.

Once he was certain, he went back downstairs and did another circle around the ground floor. All the rooms were clear and every possible entrance locked. Still, he feels unsteady. Just barely on the edge of safe and unsafe. The back of his neck prickles, the shadows playing tricks on him in the corners of his eyes.

(It feels like he’s being watched.)

After grabbing a heavy iron poker from next to the fireplace, unwilling to wake his palisman for this, the Guard sucks in a breath and steps out of the back door. The night is chilly, his breath visible in the air as if he were about to breathe fire. The Isles only ever got this cold on the Knee.

The Guard stands on the middle step of the small back porch, eyes scanning the forest line behind the house. He can hear the rustle of the trees in the chilled breeze, the soft scampering of nocturnal wildlife. An owl calls into the night, the hoot bouncing off the trees. 

The moon grants him just enough light to spot a rabbit just at the edge of the woods. Its fur helps it blend in with the underbrush, but the Guard caught the reflection of its eyes in the dark. It seems to have spotted him, too, and stares like a deer in the headlights.

For a moment, the world shrinks to just him and the rabbit. It stands perfectly still, looking right at him the way wild demons have before pouncing during run-ins in the past. The Guard wonders if Mrs. Noceda would forgive him for skewering it with her poker if it turns out to be like those rabbits from the human movie with the knights and the sacred cup.

The door behind him shifts and creaks, and the Golden Guard tears his eyes away to address the threat, brandishing the poker at whoever or whatever has decided to sneak up on him.

“Hey! Woah!” Luz startles, throwing her hands up. “Chill out, it’s just me.”

The Guard lowers the weapon instantly. “What are you doing?”

“Uh, what are you doing?”

He doesn’t reply, turning away from her again. His gaze goes back to where the rabbit was, but it’s gone. He didn’t even hear it scamper away back into the underbrush.

“Hunter?” Luz pokes her head out the door and glances around. “Did… did you see something?”

“No,” He says, keeping his eyes on the forest. “Do you?”

“No.” She echoes. Closing the door behind her, she steps up next to him.

“You should be asleep.”

“And so should you.” She puts her hands in the pockets on her vintage grudgby jacket. “We can do this back and forth thing all night, but how about you just cut to the chase and tell me why you’re out here?”

He huffs. “Go back to bed.”

“Nope.” Luz shuffles in place, seemingly determined to stand out here with him. He sits down on the steps instead. She follows without hesitation, tucking in close to him.

He stares into the middle distance, not focusing on any specific part. There’s a fog encroaching, covering his vision in mist. The world begins to blur as he sits there.

(There’s– something.)

The sky feels so big, almost too big. Like ants in an auditorium. There’s a numbness to his limbs. Maybe it’s the chill in the air creeping into his bones, but maybe he’s just losing himself again. 

(There. Right there.)

Any semblance of thought is beginning to slip through his hands like water, but the sky is black and starless and endless and he is going to trip and fall right into it.

(Did you see it?)

There’s something wrong with his lungs. They’re frozen in between one breath and another, almost petrified in the silence of the woods.

(Because it sees you.)

“Hunter.”

With a sharp inhale that straightens his spine and pushes back his shoulders, the Golden Guard’s vision sharpens. The haze lifts from his eyes, and his skin prickles with gooseflesh as he regains awareness of his limbs.

There’s a terrible heaviness in his bones. He tries to clench his hand into a fist but it’s as if there’s a half-second delay to it. Someone says a name again, and he looks up. Luz is staring.

“Did you hear me?”

He stares back. The idea of forming words with his throat feels like an insurmountable task. She doesn’t seem to mind, though. 

“I said we should go back in.” Luz tugs on his sleeve. Her hand is warm. “Come on. It’s been like, an hour. Nothing is out there.”

With little resistance, he lets the human drag him back inside the house. She even allows him to herd her in first while he follows without comment. As he turns his back to make sure the door locks behind them, Luz gasps. 

Adrenaline spikes through his heart (galderstone?) and it’s pure instinct when he shoves her behind him and holds the poker out in front of him. Yet, once again, there is no true threat.

“Gus!” Luz heaves out a sigh of relief upon seeing him standing in the kitchen’s entryway. The Guard lowers his makeshift weapon. “My guy, you gotta stop forgetting that humans can’t see in the dark very well.”

“My bad.” He says sheepishly, stepping from the shadows into a beam of moonlight. The Guard frowns. It’s far past curfew, why are both of them out of bed? “I was looking for Hunter. …What were you two doing out there?”

When Luz steps closer to Gus and begins to whisper to him, only for Gus’s eyes to immediately dart to him, The Guard decides to leave the kitchen to go replace the iron fireplace tool in its holder. The witches behind him keep talking in low tones, the words too quiet and muffled by the walls for the Guard to make out any words. He knows they're talking about him and he simply cannot find it in himself to care.

Instead, he checks the time again and… oh. Luz wasn’t exaggerating, earlier. That nightmare must have shaken him more than he thought. How come Hunter hasn’t come back yet? 

He wishes not for the first time that he had control over this. It’s never on purpose, even if his desire to take the reins often matches when it happens. It’s like their brain just knows when Hunter needs him most. Normally, he doesn’t have time to question why their brain works in this way before Hunter’s consciousness bubbles back up.

Though, this wasn’t a normal switch-off between them. When he’d taken control earlier, it was like a snap of his fingers and then Hunter was just… gone. They hadn’t even been blurred together first, like they did on most of their jobs during their time in the Emperor’s Coven. 

The Guard huffs in frustration and tears his eyes away from the clock. The ticking had begun to echo in his head, pinning him to the hardwood floor beneath his feet. He forces himself out of the living room and wanders to the front door, peeking out of the peephole first and then pulling back the curtain of the left window.

The street is still and quiet, just as the backyard had been. Not even a single car passes by as he watches. The golden street lights line the black asphalt in perfectly spaced rows and not a single lamp gives away the shifting shadows of any would-be enemies or intruders. There’s just the distant, muffled chirping that Vee had explained was coming from harmless insects, and that the human realm was not home to any of the wild demons that used the same noises to lure unsuspecting witches to their deaths.

“Hey, Hunter.”

Most of the time, Hunter nor the Golden Guard ever really interacted with the Coven Heads for long enough to end up so distracted that they could be startled, and neither of them would’ve dared to give the Emperor anything but their full and alert attention. No, it was normally the Scouts who always made the same mistake of sneaking up on them. 

The friendlier ones, the ones who weren’t either afraid or scornful of them and thus had no qualms walking right up and slapping them on the back out of camaraderie, often got hit hardest for it because they were the ones who never saw it coming. Even Steve had accidentally startled them on one of their especially bad days. The whole incident led Hunter to feel so guilty about it that he had personally escorted him to the Healer’s wing of the Coven barracks to make sure his elbow got set back into the socket as quickly and painlessly as possible.

(It was surprising that out of all the people he left behind in the Demon Realm, Steve was one of the people he missed most. Sure, Hunter was on good terms with Deamonne and Eberwolf, but the Guard wasn’t so quick to forget the past. Steve had always been a friend to both of them.)

So, really, it’s a miracle that the Golden Guard doesn’t instinctively drive his elbow right into Gus’s nose.

Instead, he freezes just as he reels his arm back. Gus doesn’t even flinch in response, showcasing the frankly terrifying amount of trust he has in them in such a casual manner. That look in the younger boy’s eyes is what makes his entire body just stop in the middle of an unconscious reaction.

(Gus may be younger, but both Hunter and the Guard know better than anyone that it doesn’t mean he’s any less intelligent. Truthfully, it’s almost unnerving how very aware of everything Gus is.)

(He has always been observant like that, but Hunter has been swearing to himself that something changed in Gus after the Day of Unity.)

(Looking at him now, the Guard is inclined to agree. There’s something in his eyes that wasn’t there before.)

“We’re having a TV night since apparently none of us can sleep.” Gus tells him, not even letting his own eyes move from the Guard’s wide-eyed gaze towards his slowly lowering arm. The lack of natural curiosity is suspicious. In fact, the boy’s innocent smile and arms folded behind his back all scream that he’s putting on an act.

The Golden Guard tries to get his throat to cooperate this time, but the words refuse to form. He’s forced to resort to tilting his head and squinting at Gus. This does nothing to deter him.

“Come on, Luz is setting it up.” Gus grabs the Guard by the wrist and drags him away from the door. With lightning-fast reflexes, he quickly makes sure the door is locked before he succumbs to his fate.

Luz is already comfortable on the couch and flips through channels before settling on one. She smiles at the pair as they enter, her busted lip pulling at the skin. Gus practically forces him onto the couch by sitting next to Luz and dragging him down until he sits on his other side. 

“Hope you guys like George Lopez 'cause that’s the only thing still on this late that's decent.” Luz says as she pulls down the blanket folded on the back of the sofa and lays it over her lap. 

Gus doesn’t hesitate in digging his scrawny legs into the blanket and making Luz yelp over his icy cold shins. She quickly slams a hand over her mouth, aware that she was far louder than she should have been, but when there’s no squeak of the floorboards to announce any new arrivals, she relaxes again. She does her best demon growl impression at Gus, who simply sticks his tongue out at her in response.

The Guard watches this happen idly but disconnected from the scene. He’s present and close enough to feel Gus moving against him as he and Luz begin attempting to out-shush each other, but it’s as if he were hanging on by nothing but a tendon and some sinew.

The idea of just letting go scares him. If he lets the tendon snap and allows himself to float away, how will he keep them safe? He can’t fight to protect any of them if all he can do is fight just to keep his head above water for long enough to have coherent thoughts.

His eyes drift to the darkened entryway. The shadows aren’t solid and thick, but filled with buzzing TV static. The floor and walls blend together the more he stares at them, both becoming an amalgam of darkness and a visual blizzard. The more he looks, the more he can’t look away.

Something in his chest catches when he swears he sees the shadow begin to swell and swirl around itself, as if trying to form into something more tangible.

A hand appears in front of his face, cutting through his vision. The curled fingers go up slowly one by one, and before he even realizes what’s happening, the Guard finds himself breathing in time with it like it's a muscle memory.

He doesn’t realize he wasn't breathing until he sucks in a breath. There's a feeling almost like his lungs are covered in cracked and dried clay but it's gone by the second breath. The shadows don't stop moving in the corner of his eye, but he can see there's no threat except his own mind playing tricks on him.

“You good?” Gus asks, and the Guard looks at him. He’s the one holding up his hand. When he gets a nod, the illusionist lowers it back down into his lap.

The optical susurration doesn't fade even as he settles down. It remains, disturbing his perception even when his eyes are closed. The Guard stares at his hands and watches the pale of his fingers blur into the dark of the floor and his jeans. He can see patterns across his vision, invisible but not. If he focuses hard enough, he can see something almost like smoke or steam rising from his skin. 

Luz tilts her head in the corner of his eye, drawing his gaze back to her. “You wanna talk about it?” She offers, but he quickly shakes his head no.

“That’s fine.” Gus is quick to reassure him. “But…”

He and Luz share a glance behind his back. The Golden Guard braces himself for more invasive questioning that he will continue to ignore.

“You know we’re all safe, right?”

He turns his head rapidly to stare at Gus. He stares right back. The Guard looks to Luz, who does the same thing.

“Yeah,” She backs Gus up. “You've done a great job, but you can rest now.”

Oh.

That was all he needed, wasn’t it? The assurance that he did well, that his mission was over. After all, Luz was protected and the worst of her injuries already nearly healed. Any and all threats were taken care of swiftly. The house is secured. Everyone is safe and sound.

"Okay." He rasps, moving his mouth and pushing air through his still paralyzed vocal chords.

It's enough. Luz says something before turning back to watch her show and Gus gets up with a comment about popped corn, but the Guard barely notices. All of his focus is on the fact that he can feel it coming, now. Like a sandstorm on the horizon. Or a receding tide before a tsunami. Something distinctly foreign but not making a home in his chest and behind his eyes and twitching in his spine.

The Golden Guard completed his main objective, and now he’s been formally dismissed.

It feels nothing like falling asleep. It doesn't even feel like losing consciousness. No, it's more like he loses focus on himself. The world blurs and he becomes distinctly uncomfortable in his own skin. Then, he blinks, and he's just... gone.

(The last thing he thinks before he lets go is how grateful he is that Hunter won't wake up alone.)

[meirimerens]

You talk about Farkhand haunting Peter and Andrey, which is awesome, but do you think he’s a vengeful, angry spirit that haunts the duo because his murder will never let him rest, or do you think he’s a lost soul that haunts the twins because he doesn’t understand why he was murdered and thus can’t find peace? I think both are cool but I wanna hear how you view the haunting of the Stamatins

He's neither and both and neither again... :3 he has elements of both to become something that's both anchored in thoese archetypes and yet aside from them (because In My Mind he bears the traits of archetypes [typically portraiture archetypes, character archetypes] but exists as his own person beyond them)

I think he haunts out of a desire to hang over them as the ghost of guilt, and also because it is a continuation of his magnetism in life. As an alive man, he inhabited people through his charm, his charisma, and now dead this charm and this charisma has folded itself as something wicked. People let him into their mind due to this fascinating air to him, and once implanted... he stays.

He haunts them both as himself (ghost) and as the memory they have of him.

He's vengeful, but not angry. I think when Andrey led him to the slaughter, he knew what was gonna happen, but he also... I think knew he had implanted himself too well/well enough in the twins' mind to know that he would stay, he would get to stay. It is less that his murder will not let him rest, more that his murder will not let the twins rest, and as long as they are haunted by the guilt and the restlessness, farkhad has direct access to their minds.

He is not lost, he is more... untethered. And untethered, he goes where he is invited (even subconsciously so). I don't think he doesn't know why he was murdered - I think he has a very good idea. He might still have interrogations, might not know everything, but I think 1) he doesn't care too much, because he knows enough 2) not knowing everything means he gets to ask them, night after night, shadow after shadow, until they start asking themselves. He needs not find peace: he just needs(/wants) to keep the twins from finding it.

Yes, vengeful, but almost a player in the way he haunts, in a goofy silly mood... he stays silly... but also he will not let them rest... just because be Expected them to murder him doesn't mean he's happy with it! Hell On Stamatins Technique