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#both sets absolutely love each other
queensofthefirenation · 10 months
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I know This blog hasn’t been active for a while, but on the of chance you see this, I wanted to ask something about Urzula.
How would Ursa and Azula get together after the war? At some point several years later. Who makes the first move? How would they get together?
I also wanted to ask your opinion of the Kyatara ship. Which is a sort of canon divergence ship we’re Hakoda is sacrificed instead of Kya and she survives. Which eventually leads to Katara and Kya realizing their feelings for each other some time after the war and getting together. Similar to Urzula in that respect.
What your option on it? Also if your view is favorable on the ship, how do you think Katara and Kya would get together?
To ask a slightly NSFW follow up question,
Who do you think would be the more dominant partner in either ship dynamic (in the bedroom)
They get together almost by accident a few years post war. They feel as if the fire Nation has passed them by at some point. While they both are important figure heads how the end of the war marked them. Ursa’s time in exile marked her as different from her peers in the Fire Nation and she doesn’t relate well to them due to her experiences. Azula is cast aside by Zuko’s regime. So she’s not really a path in and her old friends have abandoned her.
Loneliness leads them to spend more time together. They take vacations and all just as mother and daughter. It’s Azula who makes the first move on ember island, kissing Ursa. Both are horrified and back off, trying to pretend it didn’t happen. Trying desperately to make new associates and maybe lovers. But they float back towards each other, retreat again, but go a little farther each time. Until they stop retreating and stay with the other as girlfriends. Though in secret.
Haven’t thought much on Kya/Katara before. It would work differently then Azula/Ursa. Kya would always be around when Katara was growing up until Katara leaves for her adventure with the Avatar. Probably be about them making mistakes when trying to maximize their limited time together post war. I see Kya staying in the SWT while Katara continues traveling with Aang. So perhaps it’s a bit more of an affair. Katara is with Aang, but in secret her mother as well. Not really a ship for me but I can see it’s appeal.
Ursa is more dominant to Azula. Azula usually starts off strong but quickly cedes to her mother. Ursa is all too happy to makes sure her daughter feels great, but also enjoys telling her what to do. After all Azula is such an obedient girl.
Katara is dominant over Kya. Aang is quite a soft lover so Katara wants some more action in her love making with Kya. Usually doing the things that Aang refuses to do with her.
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mobius-m-mobius · 8 months
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Hey! Change of subject. I thought of an answer. To what? Your question.
Lokius + reflection for anon
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chloecherrysip · 1 year
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Mario watching his and Luigi's commercial in Punch-Out Pizzeria
#mario movie#mario movie spoilers#mario and luigi#super mario bros#super mario bros movie#super mario bros movie spoilers#cherrysip edits#if you got notifications about gifs from this set yesterday shhhhhhh i was having PROBLEMS#anyway i'm currently working on a gifset for the whole scene of mario getting back up in the pizzeria but then I HAD THIS IDEA#and i was like 'wow that sounds like a comparison that's going to cause me emotional pain' and i was right it absolutely did :) :) :)#[gesturing wildly to gifs while tears stream down my face] U DON'T UNDERSTAND MARIO IS IN THE EXACT SAME PLACE BOTH TIMES#the first time he's nervous but also SO excited and happy about what the future is gonna bring and seeing this commercial is#the culmination of everything he and luigi have been striving for and they're holding each other tight and the world feels wide open#and the second time everything is different. mario has been beaten down. he is terrified and aching and exhausted and convinced#that everyone has been right about him. he's a joke. he's a failure. the only thing he's ever done for his brother is drag him down.#but then he sees the commercial and everything comes back. the joy and the excitement and him and luigi against the world#the only difference is that he doesn't have his brother next to him and that's everything. mario doesn't feel whole otherwise#mario always does his best but when he and luigi are together working in sync he truly feels like anything is possible#and now his brother is out there somewhere in the chaos and bowser isn't gonna stop. he's gotta get up again. he does get up again.#IT'S A LOT BASICALLY. IT'S A WHOLE LOT AND I LOVE THEM DEARLY
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crescentfool · 2 years
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does anyone else want to stick these two in the same room together or is that just me... i simply think they are adjacent in vibes... (+a bonus thing???)
get u a fictional guy that makes you feel like this... seeing these guys just evoke a Similar Kind of Brain Chemical and Response. Help Me.
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also have bonus yosuke doodle featuring the same brushes used here...! from january 23rd, lol.
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#fe3h#sylvain jose gautier#persona 4#yosuke hanamura#crossover#lizzy does art#umm... hi.... (looks away) this is cringe but i am free. what is life if not to draw your favorite characters together on the same canvas#for the record i do not intend to conflate these two as the same character because they are NOT#'lizz. what on EARTH do you see in these guys.' you know. i wish i could answer that. (actually. i can.)#experiencing both of these characters sent me into an absolute spiral of denial when i realized that i enjoyed them#Words Hard but Basically i think its fascinating how both sylvain and yosuke have like this happier front that they project outwards that-#masks the struggles that they don't want others to see... and while both of them do cringe shit thats incredibly stupid#both of these characters have shown themselves to have like?? actual braincells? (re: yosuke at the start of p4 + sylvain support convos)#granted the kinds of themes and messages each of them is meant to convey varies bc of the setting and stories they are in#the sylvain + yosuke pipeline.... oh also i think the fandoms tend to rationalize both of their behavior towards women as like.#a closeted bi case. it's kinda strange to me why they overlap in certain ways hm hm...#but its just so funny to me that like. idk. they're both unbearable. they irritating for a reason /s#i should really draw these two more often (in like separate illusts) they are so fun i love their color schemes and designs it sparks joy#ok ok god i had a lot more to say about that than i thought oops. um. yeah. i learned how to draw for stuff like this. worth itTM
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cedarbranch · 5 months
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i genuinely think that in a few years i could have a major tma hyperfixation resurgence focused around jonmartin instead of doorkeay this time if i relistened to s5... like i wrote jonmartin a few times but i was never Compelled by them........ before s5 came out. and i was p deep in the doorkeay trenches at that point but i think if i got the chance to lean into the Issues In Their Relationship that s5 brought up they could be SOOO much more interesting to me
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got so into my laughingstock feels that i burnt my fuckign toast
#shit was Black#literally was in my kitchen Wailing about them and forgot the bread slices i put in the toaster oven three seconds prior#s'ok i made a new set but oughhhhhh i am still sooooooo so unwell about them....#OUGHHHHHHH THEMMMMMMM#theyre just... snf.... theyre just two silly goofy guys in love....#silly goofy fruity fellas and they love each other <3#SIDE NOTE GINGER SPREAD ON HONEY/BUTTER TOAST ABSOLUTELY FUCKS TRUST ME ON THIS#absolutely unprompted#but yea i was specifically thinking about that fic i have in my head#yall know the one by now. the one i desperately want to write and I SWEAR I WILL EVENTUALLY#but the fuckin... Misunderstanding... it makes me insaneeeee#its the most unhealthy part of their relationship AND THEY ARENT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP YET#damn theyre so healthy. theyre so. wails screams howls#but howdy being an oblivious idiot to his own emotions is so important to me#mans is whip smart & quick in every other area#but in this One Subject hes dumb as a rock & that hurts both of them <3#but it also turns into something they can cry w/ laughter over later#someone asks how they got together. they exchange a look. and burst out howling#full on wheeze-laughing Cannot Form Words#y'see most couples would have some lingering 'i cant believe you did that' and/or guilt#but barn & howdy would just find it hysterical. full on 'remember when you-' 'yeah lmfao'#THEYRE SOOOOOO <3#yknow if i ever find someone i want to have a partner-esque relationship. i want to have what laughingstock has#i do genuinely believe that howdy might have feelings for barn#but i like to live in the delusional world of my mind where they're Established <3#grabbing them and slamming them together like a violent 5 yr old playing with dolls#kiss! kiss damn you!
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I always find it funny when people are more mad at a character than the people they supposedly hurt are? I get it happens when a fandom is younger or it’s been truely written incorrectly based on the characters, but a lot of the times it’s not and it’s funny to see idk. I am looking at the teen wolf fandom.
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queen-scribbles · 5 months
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LOOK AT MY BABIES, @emedeme V-day Comm edition
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trashlie · 1 year
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Nol and Kousuke; their continued parallels
I know I never shut up about parallels and mirroring and foiling but that’s something that I find so fascinating about ILY - the intentional set up of characters who can illuminate something else in another character, and how the way they respond similarly or differently to their similar scenarios makes or breaks them. For instance, we see in Nol and Shinae typically positive mirroring - where she has learned from him how to be a better friend and turned around and gave it right back to him. But we also see between Nol and Kouske’s parallels a tendency to fracture and create chaos. 
The more we learn about Nol and Kousuke, and their relationship, the more intrigued I grow about how they parallel each other, because I think they are more alike than they - and some readers - realize. Or, rather, I think Nol is at least aware of it to some degree, but Kousuke remains locked up inside his comfortable bubble. 
I don’t have a clear cut thought-process for this post lol so please bear with me - I’m just tossing around some thoughts I’ve been having. It’s a LOT of long-winded rambling lol I’m sorry in advance 
To some degree, Nol and Kousuke’s parentage is paralleled. Neither of them had much of a relationship with Rand - for Nol, he didn’t even know his father for years, and Kousuke may as well not have as busy as Rand always was. They also had a mother who loved them. I’m using this word loosely here because frankly I think Yui sees Kousuke as an extension of herself, rather than a person of his own, and thus I feel like her love is more of a means for what she wants but, that’s part of what I’m getting at, too. Kousuke interprets it as love, Kousuke believes that their family is unlike others and that they don’t show affection the same way, that nurturing isn’t the same, and that Yui wants what is best for him and guides him to that goal. On the flipside, we have Nol who, as far as we can tell thus far, had a mother who loved him and doted on him, was affectionate and warm and made him feel like he was special, gifting him with a special nickname. 
The foil goes further, too - Kousuke grew up wealthy and privileged, wanting for nothing, with the security afforded to the family heir who would go on to one day inherit the company and the fortune. Nol, on the other hand, we can tell didn’t have the same fortune as Kousuke, and we get the sense that the only abundance they had was of warmth and love. Or maybe that’s just my projection, haha. At any rate, we see the set up clearly: one is cold, lonely, but with all wants fulfilled*; the other warm and affectionate though they may not have had everything they wanted. 
It’s easy to see that Nol was nurtured. That he may not have had all materialistic wants met, but his basic needs were. When he first meets Kousuke, he exudes confidence and charm, he seems like a friendly child. We also can see in him, even if he buries it deep down, that Nol is deeply empathetic and understanding of people, and even if he did it for penance, he took it upon himself to help others - but more than that, he seems to intuitively understand what people need, because he understands the wants and needs of people. 
Kousuke, on the other hand, doesn’t have that same ability, because he lacks the experiences Nol has. When you’ve had to want for nothing* your whole life, when you are intelligent and successful, when you have every opportunity afforded to you, you grow to accept what you’ve been told your whole life: that you are the best, that you will go on to do great things, that you are above these other baser needs. It was through the internalized belief that becoming better will make his father love him, that he could earn his father’s love by being just like him, that he would impress him and receive the love and attention he craved. So Kousuke never developed that understanding of the importance of friendship and peers, never learned the strife and trials others endure. He knows he’s privileged, but he also knew that empathy was beneath him, because he had no need to engage with others, because he knows his place and it’s above others. 
We haven’t seen young Nol interactions with kids his age outside of the teasing about his name, but it’s safe to guess that he probably had a pretty decent childhood before he and his mother moved closer to Rand. Kousuke on the other hand admits that he knows no one likes him, that he lacks the personality and charisma Nol possesses, that he fears he acquired none of Rand’s good traits and only the ones that made him the most like him in the worst way. 
Idk this is something I like to talk and think about, because it’s not clearly not simply a story of have vs have nots, or, well it isn’t so cut and dry. Because to some degree I guess it is. Nol had something that Kousuke didn’t - that affectionate nurturing, someone who gave him reassurance and warmth, someone who made him feel love. Does Kousuke feel love towards his mother? Does he even feel love towards his father? At a very young age he internalized that love is different for them, and he also internalized a transactional sense of love. That he must be worthy of love, that he must earn it. He forsook the activities a normal child his age should have engaged in and instead set himself on a one-track quest to chase after the one thing he ever wanted but couldn’t obtain: his father’s love. 
Though it can be argued Yui loves Kousuke, it doesn’t negate that he grew up in the face of neglect, and that he so deeply internalized this neglect until it poisoned him and grew from him an ugly, thorny bush that has him deeply caught within it. I think that’s the thing that’s saddest to me about Kousuke - he had everything he could want but for the one thing he truly desperately wanted, and it clouded him so strongly that he couldn’t see beyond it. It turned him into someone jealous and unhappy, someone who couldn’t bear to live with the idea that someone else might have had what he wanted, that someone else had experienced it, someone who wasn’t (in his mind) good enough. 
Kousuke believes that in order to win his father’s affection, he has to be good enough. And how could this illegitimate child possibly be good enough to win it? This illegitimate child who was nearly a spitting image of Rand, who had a bright smile and laughed. This child who emanated every positive trait used to describe Rand - every positive trait Kousuke had never born witness to. 
And because Nol wasn’t good enough because he was insatiably jealous the fear took root. Fear that nothing he did would ever matter, fear that Nol who already had beat him when it came to genetics, could possibly best him again. 
That neglect played so heavily into Kousuke’s identity that he has yet to separate himself from it, has acknowledged the way he is driven by fear and jealousy, that he couldn’t bear the idea of Nol ever besting him and did all he could to tear him down, to ensure he never could. And that’s the thing - Kousuke wasn’t wrong, although he wasn’t correct, either. Nol could have bested him, just not the way he feared. And, until now, he had chosen not to.
That’s the biggest difference in where Nol and Kousuke foil each other. Kousuke was raised with cold, lacked the kind of warm nurturing Nol had, learned love to be transactional, and that neglect turned into want and grew into jealousy and fear so intense that he had to tear someone down. But where Kousuke was raised in a corporate family, by business minded people who had no room for empathy and certainly not for those beneath him, by people who needed to be cunning and make calculated choices, Nol was raised by someone who seemed to exude warmth and instill in him the kinds of morals that were beneath Kousuke. Nol came to this new home equipped with empathy, and also with a gaping hole of want. 
Over and over Nol reached out to Kousuke, wanting to help him fill that hole of his own, hoping for a companion, for a buddy, to be part of a team. That even if they felt small - and though Kousuke may have felt otherwise, Rand certainly made him feel small and not good enough - they could have been together, they could have lifted each other up. Nol learned at an early age what it was like to have an ally, to have someone on your side, to have someone you were able to show your weakness to. Kousuke never did; he had to be perfect at all times. He could never make a misstep, lest he disappoint father, lest he set himself back on his quest for his father’s love.
And this further came to manifest as they grew older. Where Kousuke’s neglect turned him jealous and fearful, Nol’s didn’t really externalize the way Kousuke’s did. Even though he was punched down by Kousuke and attacked, even though we know his experiences with Yui still cause him fear, even though he, too, suffers from disappointing Rand, Nol never really took it out on Kousuke, the way Kousuke did to him. I think there’s another reason to it, but I do think his sense of empathy played a strong role, here. As someone going through it, and worse, Nol understood what it was like to feel like you weren’t good enough, that no matter what you did you would never make a difference. Over and over again he appealed to Kousuke knowing he wasn’t good enough in his eyes, but hoping one day he would be. He understood! 
That’s not to say that he hasn’t fought back because we’ve certainly seen that throughout ILY Nol has started to push back more, that more and more his veneer has changed and he’s gone from obedient for the sake of keeping peace to going toe to toe with Kousuke and finally voicing his feelings. But I think even up until the night before his court date, Nol hoped one day  he would reach Kousuke, that maybe there was something left in him that was salvageable. 
But that’s not all! I think that’s the most obvious way that Nol and Kousuke foil each other, because it constitutes for so much of who they are, of their core identities. Nol made a point to distance himself from people out of both a fear that he would bring harm to others and a deeply held belief that he didn’t even deserve that kindness. And yet he still reached out to people who needed that help. Even though his motivation stemmed from a selfish place (his penance), it still was an act of kindness, it was still him empathizing with people and playing his part to benefit them. Kousuke, though, came from an environment that encouraged every man for himself, that there’s no good in softness, that you had to be hard to be strong you had to be above your feelings, that you had to be the best, that people were beneath you and you had to ensure they knew it. 
And yet, Nol and Kousuke both are SO SIMILAR in ways that they don’t seem to realize, I think, because they are so blinded by the very thing that makes them so similar. 
Especially at this current stage of the story, we see that both Nol and Kousuke are at war with themselves. Or rather, there’s a battle raging on within each of them, both of them contending what they believe to be true and actual reality. 
Kousuke has spent a long time projecting on Nol. We’ve been seeing it for many episodes, all the way back to the night he got drunk at the club with Kousuke and Yujing and all the voices he “heard”, people talking about him and saying things that were, frankly, true. Things that deep down he knows to be true of himself. We’ve seen him lie to himself on MANY occasions, usually to placate himself. We’ve also seen times he’s stated things with eyes closed, impying some kind of mask or lie. One that I remember off the top of my head really clearly was when Nol and Shinae were bickering about his jacket at dinner, and Kousuke told them they’re ridiculous, they’re acting like children. But looking back on it, doesn’t it feel more like a moment of Kousuke’s jealousy he spoke of? That Nol is someone so good natured and easy to get along with, that people just naturally get along with him. He doesn’t have these kinds of frivolous relationships with people, doesn’t even allow himself them because there’s no time he has better things to be doing. 
But by stuffing down these little truths, by squashing down his insecurities and fears, by lying to himself at each opportunity, Kousuke plays heavily into the world he believes in, and it’s clear to us readers that the world he believes in is not, in fact, true. 
Quimchee has talked before about how memory plays a role in this story - and that there isn’t one true memory, because everyone’s memory is biased by their own views, their own feelings. Memories are malleable - over and over you remember things and details change and you can’t quite recall what was or wasn’t true. 
Kousuke speaks with such conviction of things that aren’t entirely true. Even recently, he said to Nol “Do you know how much trouble I’m in with father because of you?” even though he’d just had a phone call with Rand reassuring him he was not, in fact, in trouble, and that all Rand wanted was to know they are safe. But it doesn’t compute with what Kousuke knows to be true - that Rand will be disappointed in him, that he is Nol’s keeper, that it’s his job to keep an eye on Nol, so he dismisses the truth and reverts back to his own version of things. 
Not only that, but even the aftermath of that call roughed him up and worked him up so much it set him off on a spiral. Kousuke was dealing with a lot that night, especially with what he believes is expected of him. He was already high tension long before Nol jumped into the pool, and long before that call with Rand, but by the time he shows up at the Parks’ house, he’s full on spiraling, ruder than usual, meaner than he tends to allow himself to look in front of others (he prides himself on being a gentleman and understanding the importance of decorum and a good public image). 
When reality tests his false reality, it sets him off. He can’t handle the dissonance between the two, is incapable of facing that what he deeply believes to be true may not be. Because if that isn’t true, what else isn’t it? And from what we saw after he punched Nol and he took that fall, there’s something buried deep in Kousuke’s subconscious that he cannot face, that he refuses to. Something that he is protecting himself from. 
“Sometimes those that experience trauma create falsified memories to cope.” 
Kousuke is speaking of Nol, but I’m pretty sure he’s projecting. He’s the one, I think, with the falsified memory (though I’ll get to Nol in a moment). He is the one who has come away from that night Nol was taken away the inherent belief that Nol is unstable and violent, that Nol attacked him, that he is constantly laying an attack on him. He’s paranoid of Nol at every turn and takes every success Nol has as a slight against him. Maybe Nol was planning all along to use Oxford as an opportunity to best Kousuke and threaten him. But Kousuke never even considered an alternative. I think there’s even a likelihood that he got in the way of Nol and Shinae’s growing friendship not only to isolate Nol again, but because that jealousy still eats him up: that Nol is so personable and likable, that he just has a way with people who end up genuinely liking him, whereas no one likes Kousuke; he lacks what Nol has that makes him so likeable. But anything Nol does that looks like success is a slight against Kousuke. He can’t bear to see him rise up, lest he ever rise high enough to eclipse Kousuke. 
And while it’s very believable Nol is the violent one - because we’ve seen him lash out already and we know about his punching bag and what angers does to him and how he relieves it - we also have to wonder. If Nol was the one who attacked, why was Kousuke the one huff huff huffing in his memory, just like after punching Nol? It doesn’t match up with Nol’s memory - asking what he did wrong insisting he didn’t do anything. We’ve already established memories can be falsified - so whose is? What is it that is so traumatic about this experience that Kousuke couldn’t clearly recall it? There’s a whole post to be said about that memory and why we should be wary of its accuracy based on the coloring but that’s not for me to write (someone else on reddit has said they are working on it and I look forward to it!) but the point is: Kousuke is probably the one coping with falsified memories, with a false reality. 
But he’s also not quite wrong, I think. Like I said, this is where Nol and Kousuke overlap in similarities. 
It’s harder to state for certainty regarding Nol, since it’s just conjecture at this point, but I think it’s safe to say that Nol’s inherent belief that he is a monster, that he is a villain, is part of a falsified reality, and I think his was born out of the time he spent in that mental facility. In fact, a lot of Nol’s other trauma reactions seem to be born of that time. He’s vehemently against medicine, he doesn’t like to be in hospitals, his entire reaction when he woke up thinking he was back at Hirahara Memorial alone is enough to deduce that the time Nol was there was awful and irrevocably changed him. Is that where the belief that he’s a monster was born? Was it through Kousuke’s emotional abuse and the time he spent in the mental facility that Nol came to regard himself so lowly, that he came to believe everyone is better off without him, that he can only bring danger and badness to people he cares about? 
We’re obviously missing a few puzzle pieces here, but I think it’s a safe guess. Did something happen to his mom as a result of her pregnancy or his birth, or is it more than something happened to her and he feels like it wouldn’t have if he’d never been born? It feels like something happened and he was made to internalize it. Not all “mental facilities” are good, and not all have the good of the kids in mind. And worse, with Yui’s connections to the hospital, it’s likely that what was “meant to be” help was the complete opposite. I feel like that’s why Nol has internalized it so deeply; it’s something that was pressed upon him at a vulnerable time and it completely changed the way he views himself and how he thinks he’s reflected to the world. 
Kousuke clings to his falsified reality for comfort, Nol hides in his because he has nowhere else to go. Kousuke is afraid of reality and the truth, Nol is incapable of even seeing it! And even here, where they are so alike, they still react differently. When faced with dissonance between his reality and actual reality, Kousuke externalizes it, starts spiraling and grows angry. (Or, we could say.... he becomes.... unstable?) Nol, though, internalizes his and delves deeper into that dark. 
Now, I’m not saying there’s no case for Nol having ever attacked Kousuke. But I also wonder if we aren’t supposed to think deeper on this. Nol looks like he’s violent based on this altercation with Kousuke and what we saw with Sangchul, and how hard it is for him to bite back his anger. But we also know Kousuke to be an unstable person - he struggles with reconciling truth with what he believes and when he gets overwhelmed and stressed, he becomes irascible and paranoid - and some of that paranoia seems to leak the truth he’s fighting. But that’s not what this post is about lol. 
The point is, both Nol and Kousuke are struggling to reconcile what they believe and what is really true. So much of Kousuke’s peace seems to hinge on what he believes - it’s so easy to tip the scale and lead him into a spiral as he fights off the truth. Control is what makes him feel powerful - not in just the lording over people way, but over his own mental state. He needs everything to adhere to what he believes, lest he have to face something he isn’t ready for, something that will change everything he believes. He needs to believe that what he knows to be true, because who is he, what is he, if it isn’t? What of the years he spent grinding and trying his best to meet someone’s approval if it was all in vain? 
But Nol struggles with his falsified reality because he believes himself to be dangerous and undeserving. Who is he, to think he deserves friendship, to think he deserves kindness? Who is he to think he deserves comfort. For what he believes he’s done, he must suffer and any form of peace is undeserved - even dying. But we see that he is starting to struggle with that - he has formed friends he thinks he doesn’t deserve and they care about him. He is allowing himself moments of relying on others, of accepting their comfort. How does he reconcile his internalized beliefs with what he is finding himself wanting?
If we are to take their drunken states to be indicative of some truths they cannot face - like Kousuke’s paranoia that people are talking about him, that they are saying horrible (but true) things about him as a reflection of how he sees himself and what he believes of himself, then Nol fighting with Alyssa and stating that he doesn’t even want to be there, that there’s somewhere else he’d rather be is indicative of the truth he is denying, seeing in a group of strangers the people he’s yearning for. Just because he doesn’t believe he deserves it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want it. As much as Nol believes he’s a monster meant to be vilified, he still craves the comfort that comes from his friends. He still wants to be around people who DO love him, around people who see the good in him. 
They both struggle to reconcile this with reality. Kousuke can’t face who he really is, that he spent his whole life trying to earn affection that should have been given. He left no room in his life for anything he enjoyed because there was one desire that trumped it all, one reward that would justify the means. Who is he if what he believes isn’t true. What has he lived for, if he will never obtain his strongest desire? How do you live with yourself, when you realize that? So he runs from it, he takes shelter in something that makes sense, that makes him feel better, that grants him the control he needs. And Nol runs from his truth, because what he believes - that he is a monster - is something he can’t let go of, lest he bring more harm to people he cares about. He has to evade it, lest the truth catch him - that maybe he isn’t the monster he believes, that maybe he does deserve the love he craves. How can he continue to evade it, though, unless he continues to believe in his truth? 
I really look forward to seeing what Nol and Kousuke make of these scenarios, of whether or not they ever choose to accept/embrace reality (or if it has to be pushed on them). In a sense, they both reside in these falsified realities for a sense of control and security. Maybe Nol knows deep down that he can’t control what happens to the people he loves, so he just hopes by distancing himself he can control that much. They both face very difficult choices and have a lot of demons to confront, and I want to see they’ll ever find where they overlap again or if they will choose forked paths. 
It all boils down to this: Nol and Kousuke are both prisoner of their own minds, in some way. Neither of them can move forward until they tackle that, but it’s such an intrinsically woven part of them, how are they to shed that? That’s what I’m dying to see. 
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kalijhomentethi · 1 year
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hold on i just read the most heartbreaking blood moon thread ever,,,
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gregmarriage · 2 years
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started succession last night and i am very much in the throes of brainrot, both of the show in general and of the tomgreg variety
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"You just got really excited to write a historical fiction and told everyone about it you can't just start something else now-" You don't understand I need to write good siblings or I will scream
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nyancrimew · 3 days
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confession: two weeks ago my friends got sick of me slowly cooking to death in my self-pitying emotional soup of heartbreak, took me out for drinks, and installed a dating app on my phone. we are all in the same degree at uni (i'm 25 + i promise this is relevant), in a faculty that is extremely quaint and mostly comprised of academics married to people with normal jobs. two years ago a teacher-couple joined our program's faculty, a fact that caused a minor riot within the teaching staff, who thought it was unfair to give two of four tenured jobs to a couple... unfortunately for them both of these profs are extremely beloved among the students and very good teachers at that. even if you've never taken classes from either of them, you know about this couple and probably whatever rumors are going around about them too. i've taken classes w/ both.
anyway. back to me on the dating app in the bar with my friends, pretty drunk, swiping though my bumble suggestions. for extra fun, we have set the minimum age to 30 and the gender to include "both" even though i am a lesbian. the whole table is viciously tearing down dating profiles, investigating their pictures, etc. i go to the bar to get another round for the group, am about to pay for our drinks when i hear a virtual SHRIEK from our corner. i get back, dish our drinks out. my phone is in the middle of the table, untouched by anyone like it's a cursed object. i look at the screen. it's them, our teacher couple. they have a shared dating profile, stating that they are "looking for someone to explore her bisexuality with". lesbian readers will know that this is not exactly an uncommon profile type to find, but still, seeing it from people who have taught basically everything you know about 19th century literature is... quite something. so naturally i decide to swipe right before anyone can stop me.
maia, i am so proud to report: i fucked that man's wife, she was absolutely lovely, and we will see each other again, and i am currently taking another class from her husband where the vibe is more than chill. my friends have been sworn to secrecy, but i know it's only a matter of time before someone slips up and the rumor mill starts churning... but who cares? i haven't thought about my ex since!
OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT
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aethersea · 3 months
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another thing fantasy writers should keep track of is how much of their worldbuilding is aesthetic-based. it's not unlike the sci-fi hardness scale, which measures how closely a story holds to known, real principles of science. The Martian is extremely hard sci-fi, with nearly every detail being grounded in realistic fact as we know it; Star Trek is extremely soft sci-fi, with a vaguely plausible "space travel and no resource scarcity" premise used as a foundation for the wildest ideas the writers' room could come up with. and much as Star Trek fuckin rules, there's nothing wrong with aesthetic-based fantasy worldbuilding!
(sidenote we're not calling this 'soft fantasy' bc there's already a hard/soft divide in fantasy: hard magic follows consistent rules, like "earthbenders can always and only bend earth", and soft magic follows vague rules that often just ~feel right~, like the Force. this frankly kinda maps, but I'm not talking about just the magic, I'm talking about the worldbuilding as a whole.
actually for the purposes of this post we're calling it grounded vs airy fantasy, bc that's succinct and sounds cool.)
a great example of grounded fantasy is Dungeon Meshi: the dungeon ecosystem is meticulously thought out, the plot is driven by the very realistic need to eat well while adventuring, the story touches on both social and psychological effects of the whole 'no one dies forever down here' situation, the list goes on. the worldbuilding wants to be engaged with on a mechanical level and it rewards that engagement.
deliberately airy fantasy is less common, because in a funny way it's much harder to do. people tend to like explanations. it takes skill to pull off "the world is this way because I said so." Narnia manages: these kids fall into a magic world through the back of a wardrobe, befriend talking beavers who drink tea, get weapons from Santa Claus, dance with Bacchus and his maenads, and sail to the edge of the world, without ever breaking suspension of disbelief. it works because every new thing that happens fits the vibes. it's all just vibes! engaging with the worldbuilding on a mechanical level wouldn't just be futile, it'd be missing the point entirely.
the reason I started off calling this aesthetic-based is that an airy story will usually lean hard on an existing aesthetic, ideally one that's widely known by the target audience. Lewis was drawing on fables, fairy tales, myths, children's stories, and the vague idea of ~medieval europe~ that is to this day our most generic fantasy setting. when a prince falls in love with a fallen star, when there are giants who welcome lost children warmly and fatten them up for the feast, it all fits because these are things we'd expect to find in this story. none of this jars against what we've already seen.
and the point of it is to be wondrous and whimsical, to set the tone for the story Lewis wants to tell. and it does a great job! the airy worldbuilding serves the purposes of the story, and it's no less elegant than Ryōko Kui's elaborately grounded dungeon. neither kind of worldbuilding is better than the other.
however.
you do have to know which one you're doing.
the whole reason I'm writing this is that I saw yet another long, entertaining post dragging GRRM for absolute filth. asoiaf is a fun one because on some axes it's pretty grounded (political fuck-around-and-find-out, rumors spread farther than fact, fastest way to lose a war is to let your people starve, etc), but on others it's entirely airy (some people have magic Just Cause, the various peoples are each based on an aesthetic/stereotype/cliché with no real thought to how they influence each other as neighbors, the super-long seasons have no effect on ecology, etc).
and again! none of this is actually bad! (well ok some of those stereotypes are quite bigoted. but other than that this isn't bad.) there's nothing wrong with the season thing being there to highlight how the nobles are focused on short-sighted wars for power instead of storing up resources for the extremely dangerous and inevitable winter, that's a nice allegory, and the looming threat of many harsh years set the narrative tone. and you can always mix and match airy and grounded worldbuilding – everyone does it, frankly it's a necessity, because sooner or later the answer to every worldbuilding question is "because the author wanted it to be that way." the only completely grounded writing is nonfiction.
the problem is when you pretend that your entirely airy worldbuilding is actually super duper grounded. like, for instance, claiming that your vibes-based depiction of Medieval Europe (Gritty Edition) is completely historical, and then never even showing anyone spinning. or sniffing dismissively at Tolkien for not detailing Aragorn's tax policy, and then never addressing how a pre-industrial grain-based agricultural society is going years without harvesting any crops. (stored grain goes bad! you can't even mouse-proof your silos, how are you going to deal with mold?) and the list goes on.
the man went up on national television and invited us to engage with his worldbuilding mechanically, and then if you actually do that, it shatters like spun sugar under the pressure. doesn't he realize that's not the part of the story that's load-bearing! he should've directed our focus to the political machinations and extensive trope deconstruction, not the handwavey bit.
point is, as a fantasy writer there will always be some amount of your worldbuilding that boils down to 'because I said so,' and there's nothing wrong with that. nor is there anything wrong with making that your whole thing – airy worldbuilding can be beautiful and inspiring. but you have to be aware of what you're doing, because if you ask your readers to engage with the worldbuilding in gritty mechanical detail, you had better have some actual mechanics to show them.
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prkhaven · 1 month
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TEACHER’S PET -p.sh-
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▐ pairing: professor!sunghoon x star uni. student fem!reader
▐ genre: smut minor do not interact, professor x student, age gap(sunghoon is in mid/late 20s while reader is in early 20s), angsty, fluffy, p with plot, p with feelings, forbidden love
▐ wc: 17.8k
-all warnings below cut-
▐ warnings: sunghoon gets kind of mean, jealously, so much feelings, profanity, a little misunderstanding, lots of kissing
▐ smut warnings: unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), multiple sex scenes, praising, degradation, dirty talk, p in v, fingering, throat fucking, overstimulation, dom!sunghoon(but they're both freaks), usage of nicknames(baby, good girl, sir, slut, etc.), headlocks, begging, some cum eating, creampies, breeding kink, dacryphilia, cock warming, oral (m+f rec. and giving)
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You’re the perfect student in your university. Acing all of your courses with ease, even the hardest course known on campus taught by the strictest teacher, Mr. Park.
Everyone saw and knew you worked hard in order to achieve everything you’ve accomplished, seeing your dedication and sleepless nights in order to complete an assignment perfectly.
Everyone wished to be just like you one day as you set the curve.
Whether you decide to admit it or not, you’re utterly admired by students, staff, faculty members, and teachers.
Each time your name came across papers, it was given extra attention to detail and care to just see how marvelous you worked on it.
But there was one teacher who absolutely adored you the most. Admiring the way you attentively took notes during lectures, how you furrow your eyebrows and pout your lips as you studied, or when you would lightly chew on your pen when going over questions, to simply the way you would come to him to ask questions without a worry while others were scared to even approach him.
Mr. Park adored you as a hard working student.
He also adored the side of you that wasn’t seen as professional. The way your legs would unconsciously squish together when trying to understand something or how you squirmed under his gaze when it was just you and him but then secretly taking glances to him when you thought he wasn’t looking.
But he deeply cherished the side of you that would get him fired. The way you would drop to your knees in front of him to prove that you deserved the extra point you were missing to achieve the hundred percent you desperately wanted.
And he could forever relish in the way you usher kisses from him as you studied in his office while he graded papers or the way he folds your body over his desk as he pounds into you mercifully for getting the highest mark once again.
Oh Mr. Park loved his favorite student.
✎ᝰ。
Sunghoon’s course was a two semester course for the minimum amount of material that was crammed in there. It was known to be the hardest course to pass which meant there were very few students who decided to take the challenge(you being one of them).
But there was no other teacher that understood the material like him, he was the top professor and you were the top student.
How you and Sunghoon began the forbidden fiasco was spontaneous but not unexpected. There was obvious tension already building in-between as he would catch you looking at him with a certain glint in your eyes before shyly looking away to focus back on the lecture.
However, his favorite was whenever he’s grading papers already feeling exhausted from giving such low marks and not enough high marks but his exhaustion would instantly fade away when he’d get to yours.
He always straightens up his posture to take a moment to properly appreciate how perfect your paper is. How you not only explained every point needed to receive full credit but even added some of your own input.
But what he loved more were the little doodles you would leave scatter on your paper to indicate your boredom after finishing.
His pen would softly trace the designs with a fond smile, a thought lingering to indulge himself in the opportunity presented to him. So he would write a simple comment alongside the doodle that caught his eyes the most.
And this time around it was a simple doodle of a house sitting on a hillside with a sunset far in the distant and flowers littering the landscape.
When you received your paper back, you’d smile at the big hundred percent in bright red ink in the corner of your paper but soon caught glimpse of your professor’s comment along your doodle.
Your smile would only get bigger seeing ‘got bored?’ next to the house doodle before glancing up to your professor who gave the faintest smile ever towards you before dropping it and continued to pass out the rest of the student’s papers.
The next time you had a paper due, you made sure to complete it with ease before writing back a response to his previous comment, hoping he would respond to it.
And once again as Sunghoon was up late at night grading papers, energy already drained, he finally made it to yours and his energy skyrocketed.
As he was grading your paper, he caught the doodle you did of yourself and a surprising response to his previous comment.
‘Yeah I am. Next time you should make these just a little harder Mr. Park’
He smirked to himself with a chuckle before nodding his head in amusement. You didn’t received an hundred percent this time around, but still received the highest mark out of everyone taking his course.
But he saw this an opportunity to tease you just a little bit.
‘Next time you should make sure to get an hundred then maybe I’ll consider it’
✎ᝰ。
You made an appointment with Sunghoon during the scheduled hours to discuss the possibility of him writing a letter of recommendation for an internship you’re hoping to get into during winter break.
As you stood in front of his door, you didn’t hesitate to knock on his office door softly and you heard him mutter ‘come in’ loud enough for you to hear and when you walked in he gave you a welcoming smile.
He’s been anticipating you ever since he saw your name pop up in the long list of appointments but he wondered what you needed from him. “Good evening”
You returned his kind smile with your own, ���Good evening Mr. Park”
He motioned to the chair in front of his desk which you easily took, “What can I do for you?”
“I won’t take too much of your time, I know you’re a busy professor” Sunghoon lightly chuckled in his head at your statement, he could never be too busy for you.
“I was wondering if you could possibly write me a letter of recommendation? There’s an internship I really would enjoy to attend but it requires one from a professor” You explained and you noticed how you had his full undivided attention
He nodded at every word you said before lightly clasping his hands together. “I have no issues doing so, email the information of your internship” Your smile spread across your face hearing his easy acceptance to your request but he was curious about one thing. “If I may ask, why choose to ask me for this?”
“I’m sure you’re well aware I’m not exactly the most easy going professor. And you and I both know many other professors would’ve adored to take this opportunity if you asked”
“Well that’s exactly the reason Mr. Park. You’re not easy going. If I asked another professor of mine to write one I’m sure they will gush on and on about my achievements and how wonderful of a student I am but not of me as a person and my dedication” You explained and Sunghoon felt a sense of pride in his chest but he tried push that feeling down
He shouldn’t be feeling this, you were only coming to him for a letter of recommendation. Nothing more and nothing less of that.
He gave a curt nod to your explanation before you thanked him profusely which he kindly waved off.
“I hope you’re able to have a wonderful winter break Mr. Park!” Your bright smile made his heart churn in itself but he tried so hard to shake it off
“You as well. I hope you’re able to attend your internship”
“Oh I’ll definitely get in if I have you writing my letter of recommendation” Your words weighed heavy on his shoulders and heart
✎ᝰ。
It was deep into winter break and Sunghoon was roaming through the streets on Christmas eve alone. He saw how couples were smiling as they held hands, walking by simply happy to spend the holidays together.
Now he never cared for having a relationship, having his priorities lie within his work. But there were times, times like this, that made he wonder what his life would be like if he had someone.
But he wasn’t going to dwell on something that wasn’t real. He was going about his business to head back home when he suddenly heard a familiar voice he didn’t expect to hear on Christmas eve.
He turned and saw your bundled up self making your way towards him, you looked so cute under the faint store and street lights. He shook his head from that thought and gave a confused expression to which you giggled at.
You noticed how different he looked from how you usually see him during class. Instead of his usual business attire with his rimless clear glasses, his attire now fitted to the cold weather to keep him warm, his hair out of its usual style, and his glasses long discarded.
Your heart fluttered in your chest seeing how he looked under the skylit night. There was never any denying that he was a very attractive person.
“Good evening Mr. Park” You greeted when you reached him and he gave a nod, not trusting himself to speak “What are you doing out on Christmas eve by yourself?”
“I could ask you the same thing” You chuckled slightly raising your hands up in defeat at his remark to your question
“Internship finally let me out for the next two days” His eyes blinked harsher hearing your sentence, you got the internship?
You chuckled softly at his reaction as you could read him like an open book. “Your letter of recommendation worked. I was one of the first people to receive a spot, so whatever you wrote did wonders on them” His lips curled into a smile, pleased to hear that he was able to help you
“Congratulations, I’m happy to hear that”
After his congratulation, the two of you stayed in an awkward silence. Neither sure of whether to continue the conversation or cut it off at that, but before stressing over it more the smallest snowflake fell between and caught your attention.
Both of you looked to sky to see the snowfall, realizing it was going to be a white Christmas. You smiled softly as you rested your hand out to catch the falling snow.
Sunghoon shifted his gaze from the sky onto you and saw how the moonlight and snowfall painted your eyes like you held in the universe in them.
“Do you want to have dinner?” Sunghoon’s words fell from his mouth before he could even realize what he was saying
He stopped and cursed at himself under his breath for allowing his thought to slip through his mouth and when he heard silence from you, he wanted the world to swallow him whole in that moment.
But your response is what brought him back to reality, “I would like that”
“What?”
“You asked me to dinner and I said I would like that. Don’t tell me you’re backing away from your offer Mr-“
“Please call me Sunghoon when we’re outside of school grounds” He stopped you from continuing your sentence and you held back a smile and nodded your head
“Alright then Sunghoon, what do you have in mind for dinner?”
Oh he really had done it to himself now. He was doomed.
✎ᝰ。
Your face crinkled as you laughed at something Sunghoon had said as you were leaving the restaurant. You expected the dinner to be awkward but instead it was like the two of you had known each other for years. Not a single ounce of tension was felt even though he was your professor and you were his student.
Sunghoon arrived to his car and he shot you a confused look when he saw you weren’t following. “What are you doing?”
“I’m sending you off, I have to get a taxi to go back to mine” You told and Sunghoon shook his head, what kind of monster would he be if he left you to take a taxi
“Nonsense, I’ll drive you. No need to waste money” He told before opening the passenger door for you and your heart stopped
“A-are you sure? I really don’t mind taking a taxi Mr-”
“Please I insist. And you were doing so good not calling me Mr. Park throughout the dinner” You nervously gulped as you unconsciously squished your thighs a little closer together hearing the hint of praise from him
Sunghoon took notice of you squishing your thighs after his words and he could feel his stomach crawling inside out as he tilted his neck to the side to knock some sense into himself. He couldn’t, he possibly couldn’t.
Oh but he could and he did.
Because here he was inside your place, in your bed, his body flushed in between your legs as he feverishly kissed you like no tomorrow.
He was only supposed to walk you to your front door to make sure you got in safely but what he didn’t expect was for you to crash your lips onto his the moment the clock struck 12.
“Merry Christmas Sunghoon” You mumbled against his lips and he didn’t remember the last time someone had genuinely wished him one
He knows he should’ve pushed you away, to tell you that this was wrong, that neither of you could do this. But he was twisted, sick, and messy in his head. He couldn’t get enough of your taste now that he got a sliver of it.
Your hold on him was something so desperate and needy that he couldn’t possibly let you go as the two of you found a feverish pace for the kiss. The snow falling over your bundle up bodies as the dim light shun above you two outside your front door.
Sunghoon’s arms were hesitant to wrap around you to bring you impossibly closer to him and you noticed. You wanted, needed, him to hold you the way you were clinging onto him.
You carefully brought his arms to hold you and he let out a soft noise when he finally felt you in his arms. It felt so right to have you there as if you were meant to be there in the first place (in his mind you were).
He could feel the lack of oxygen in him but he couldn’t care in the slightest. Your lips were like a paradise and he rather give up heaven if he had to just to keep tasting you.
“I need you Sunghoon” He stopped kissing you and pulled away to stare at you with wide eyes, not expecting to hear those words to ever leave your mouth
Your pupils were blown out wide as you stared up to him with a cloud of lust filling your eyes. His mind became hazy as it ran miles in a loop of the only rational thought holding onto dear life. He shouldn’t give in.
But the way your lips fit perfectly with his and the way you felt under his touch. He threw all his rationality out of the window, unable to say no to you when you’re willingly offering yourself so preciously to him.
His lips soon found a place on your jaw before tracing down to your neck in a haste. “Gonna have to do better than that to get my cock” You relished in his words as you knew this was the sign you’ve been longing for
You bit back your smirk and you let your body melt in his touch and kisses as your hands found their way to his hair to mess it up from its middle part.
“Then let me bring you inside” You whispered just loud enough for him to hear and Sunghoon forced himself to detach from you to allow you open the door
As you hastily tried to open the door wanting to get him inside as soon as possible, Sunghoon’s arms wrapped around you, allowing himself to get lost in the daze of you.
He kissed the side of your face not able to get enough of you as his thumbs rubbed circles on your coated body. Even though there was a multiple layers between you and his touch, you could still feel his touch burn your body.
When you finally opened the door, he quickly pushed you inside and locked the front door.
The moment he turned to face you, you grabbed him by the collar to kiss him once again. He chuckled against your lips as your hands began removing his layers. “You can start taking mine off too” You mumbled and he was quick to remove the piece of clothing that prevented him from touching your skin.
The kiss became more impatient as you guided him towards your room, neither of your lips breaking from each other. You had your hands mixed in his hair as his hands roamed over your body, trying memorize every single crevice on your body.
When you made it to your room, you knocked the door open and broke off the kiss to push him onto your bed with a pant. Sunghoon looked to you to take a moment to properly comprehend that this was actually happening.
Your eyes darting over him to burn how you had your professor sitting on your bed burned into your memory.
As your eyes found his, you slowly began to remove your shirt and Sunghoon’s eyes never left yours. You gulped as you discarded your shirt somewhere leaving you in your bra as you took off your pants.
He was trying everything in his willpower to not look anywhere else besides your eyes as you were removing your last piece of clothing. When you kicked your pants off somewhere in your room, you were now left in your undergarments only.
Sunghoon who witnessed it, couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that you, his student, his favorite student actually, was now crawling onto his lap.
He gulped as his hands unconsciously grabbed your hips as you positioned yourself right on top of him. He let out a deep groan feeling your clothed core right above his hard on.
You gasped feeling him against you, even though he was restraint through his pants, you could still his imprint. You slowly rocked your hips to rub yourself against him, letting desperate whines leave your mouth for him.
This was not how either of you expected your Christmas to go.
But nevertheless, Sunghoon couldn’t take it anymore. He flipped you onto your back and you let out a shocked squeal at how easily he did that but your mind went blank as he removed his shirt and your jaw dropped.
You knew Sunghoon had muscles, you could tell by the way his shirts would fit around him during class but you didn’t realize just how sculpted his body was. Your eyes trailed over him and you felt your heart pounding against your chest.
But you were disrupted from your thought as he dove straight into your neck to leave wet open kisses.
You moaned softly feeling his lips, his hands roaming higher up your body until they found your breast. He unclasped your bra with ease and freed your mounds before attaching his lips onto your left one, sucking and kissing your already harden nipple and having his free hand to pinch your right one.
You jolted harshly at the sensation on both of your nipples and you could feel his smirk against your body.
His tongue glided over your sensitive nipple making you whimper loudly, fingers pinching them before rubbing his thumb over it to soothe the nerves. He removed his lips from your boob, bringing his lips onto yours. You grabbed his wrist as his hands held your boobs as he flushed himself against you.
You felt the poke against your clothed core and as embarrassing as it was, you almost came right then and there.
You don’t remember the last time you ever got with someone, too focused on school (and secretly your professor) that you didn’t even have time to take care of yourself.
You rubbed yourself against his leg that laid between your legs and he grinned in the kiss as he bit your lips harshly causing you to squeal.
“Such a fucking slut. Can’t even wait for me to fuck you that you’re already rubbing your soaking pussy against me” Sunghoon grabbed your chin forcing you to look down on the leg you were grinding on and the wet patch you left behind
“Rubbing me like some bitch in heat” You whimpered at his words and you shook your head trying to prove yourself but your actions spoke other wise
All you knew were praises but hearing such belittling words from your professor only made you wetter and you desperately needed him inside of you. “Please Mr. Park plea-” But you didn’t expect him to squish your face in his hand as he forced you to look at him
His harsh lust filled gaze send a wave down to your already dripping self. “Call me sir”
Your throat went dry, never using such nicknames before. But you heard the sternness of his voice which only fueled you even more. “S-sir” You tested the foreign nickname on your tongue for the first time and hearing it fall from your lips went straight to his cock
Having the top student sprawled beneath him begging for him did wonders on his mind. But he wasn’t going to give in that easily.
“Come on, I know you can do better than that. I need words, what do you want me to do?” Sunghoon teased as he already knew exactly what you wanted
But something about having you beg for him riled him up. Just because it was you didn’t mean you were easily going to get what you wanted from him.
“Sir please” Your voice full of desperation, “I-I need you inside of me. Need you to feel you. Want you to fill me up with your cock, I need you” You chocked out in whines and Sunghoon smirked seeing you wither before him
“Such a good little slut” He kissed the side of your face making you squeal, and you finally heard the unbuckling his belt and your heart raced
You looked down to see him freeing his harden cock which sprung out, hitting his abdomen and your jaw dropped seeing his size. This was nothing compared to what you thought it was when you were rubbing yourself against him.
You clearly underestimated your professors size and he noticed, “Oh don’t tell me you thought I was small. Come on, give me some credit” He smirked noticing you gulping nervously as you were amazed by his size
Your hands went to admire him and he groaned when your hands wrapped around him with a daze in your eyes. He closed his eyes as you softly pumped him almost causing him to throw his head back from the sheer pleasure.
With the faintest touches, you were already sending him into an overdrive. He doesn’t know if it’s because it’s been so long since he’s last been with someone like this or if it was because his deep hidden forbidden desires were being fulfilled by the only person in his mind, you.
His eyes clamped harder when he felt your hand go lower to fiddle with his aching balls that have been waiting months to be released.
“You’re so heavy” You mumbled at the observation and you noticed his angry tip leaking precum
You knew how bad your thoughts were in that moment, but you needed him to rearrange your whole intestines.
Your hands brought him over your stomach to measure just how deep he would be inside of you and you nervously gulped seeing how far deep he would be, “I don’t know if you’re gonna fit…”
Sunghoon murmured a soft ‘fuck’ under his breath seeing just how deep he would be inside of you, he almost lost control and rammed into you to make you dumb and only think about his cock.
But he knew you were right, he didn’t even know himself if he could fit inside of you.
“Then we’ll make it fit. You’ll be a good girl and take it right? Take all of me and everything I give you?” You looked up to him with doe eyes and Sunghoon needed to ruin you as you innocently nodded your head
He hummed pleased with your nod before having his fingers play with the fabric of your panties, noticing how it clung to your wetness as he peeled them off you painfully slow.
The more you were becoming exposed to him, the more you were growing shy and when he finally removed your panties, you unconsciously covered your bare self with your hands.
Sunghoon smack his tongue against his teeth before moving your hands away to admire you in all your glory. He saw how your soaked core gleamed with your arousal and he was captivated by you. He took a moment to appreciate you and your cheeks burned as his gaze never left your gaping hole.
“Perfect, absolutely perfect” He mumbled to himself before holding himself in his hands, giving himself a few pumps before dragging his tip across your wet self in a teasing manner, his precum and your arousal smearing together making the most beautiful scene in front of him.
Your hole clenched around nothing as he tapped his tip against your empty hole that begged to be filled and destroyed by him.
But you whined impatiently as he replaced his aching cock with his slender fingers. Even though, he desperately wanted to just be inside you, he knew he would split you in half and not in the good way if he didn’t prep you.
You bit your lip as you felt his fingers graze over your wetness and you looked down to see Sunghoon in a daze as he watched you coat his fingers.
You were going to say something but you gasped when you suddenly felt his finger enter you without any warning. He hissed at your tightness as he slowly pumped his finger in and out of you. Your body melted into your mattress from his finger alone.
Sunghoon soon entered a second finger, stretching you out a little more. You let out soft moans and it was like music to his ears. His fingers painfully dragged in and out as his thumb found a resting point on your clit.
The slow circles on your sensitive bud made your body jolt as the moans became louder and heavier. You felt the familiar knot in your stomach and right when it was going to snap, Sunghoon ripped his hand away.
You frustratedly whined that your close orgasm was ripped from you. Sunghoon chuckled seeing your frustrated state as small tears filled the corner of your eyes, daring to fall.
You saw as he stuck the fingers that were just inside of you inside him mouth as he hummed wildly tasting you for the first time.
“You taste so sweet baby” The endearing nickname filled your ears and mind as your frustration melted away as your heart warmed
But that didn’t last too long as it quickly overshadowed by the desperate need for him. “S-Sir p-please” You broke out in a whimper and Sunghoon cooed you as he rubbed your cheek softly
“You’ve been doing so well, I’m so proud of you baby” He tried to calm down your sniffled self as he grabbed his cock in his hand before dragging his tip across your pussy again before protruding your hole with his tip
Your mouth fell slack as you could feel him slipping in as he hissed by how tight you were. Your mind was already sent into a drunken dazed by the stretch you’ve never felt before.
He let out a broken chuckle as he saw your expression, “You’re already gone and I only gave you a taste of my tip” He continued to ease his way in, the clench making it difficult for him
“B-Big” You admitted breathlessly the moment he finally made it halfway
The two of you panted heavily feeling the undeniable pain but pleasurable stretch as Sunghoon nearly lost himself in the hold you had on his cock.
He gave you sometime to adjust as he rubbed a hand on your hips to help your shuddering and after a few moments you gave him a weak nod to keep going.
As he kept moving deeper into you, your gasp only grew louder, your hands resting on his shoulder as your fingertips dug into his shoulders.
He hissed feeling your fingertips in his shoulders but he continued to slowly push through. With each passing second, tears fell down your face and Sunghoon kissed your tears away.
“I know baby, I know. You can take it. I promise it’ll feel so good” You whimpered as you wrapped your arm around him to hold him close to your aching body
He finally bottomed out and the two of you let out a heavy shudder trying to get use to the taste the new forbidden heaven.
“You’re so pretty baby. So damn pretty” He praised you hoping it helped ease you and it did to a certain extent
The stretch was undeniably delicious and when lightly tapped his back, a sign for him to move, he smiled weakly, giving shallow thrust at first.
From his first thrust, you felt a new side of pleasure you never felt before. No one ever being able to make you feel like this till this day. You just never expected the one to show you this new world of pleasure would be your own professor.
You moaned as you held him close to you as he found a spot in the crook of your neck. The noises you tried to contain became loose in his ears when he began to pick up pace as his tip started to kiss your cervix with each thrust which you didn’t even know was possible.
“F-fuck baby. Gonna fuck you so good” He gruntled against your neck as he soon found a pace that made you fall apart on his cock
His pelvis met with your clit from the close proximity and you were seeing stars. “M-Mr- Sun-Hoo-Sir” Your mind didn’t know what to call Sunghoon in this moment
“How often did you think about your professor’s cock ramming into you? Bet you waited for the day to lure me into your bed just so that I can fuck you like the slut you are” Sunghoon spewed the brewing thoughts in his head
“E-every d-day Sung…H-hoon” You managed to moan out as the friction against your clit made you unintentionally tighten around Sunghoon’s hammering cock inside of you and the two of you were falling apart from the pleasure.
“Just like that, say my fucking name from your pretty mouth” Sunghoon pulled away from his spot on your neck to look at your sprawled body as he gripped your sides to slam his hips harsher against yours. “Nothing in that pretty head of yours but my name”
You knocked your head back as you tightly gripped your sheets, trying to hold in your sounds as best as you could but Sunghoon wouldn’t allow that. He rubbed his fingers over your swollen clit causing you to scream and cover your mouth surprised by the loud noise that left your mouth.
“Let the whole neighborhood know who’s fucking you this good. Let them hear you moan and whine like the slut you are for your professor’s cock” You were beyond the edge as his hips snapped against yours, your body jolting into the mattress with each of his thrust
And he loved the scene before him, the way your breast bounced from his harsh thrust, how your head was thrown back and your mouth was wide open with nothing but calls of his name and moans leaving it.
You arched your back sending a new shock of pleasure over you and Sunghoon’s managed to somehow go even deeper with the new angle as he held your lower back to keep your back arched as he continued to pound into you like you were his own toy.
“Clo-Close s-ir” You whined as you could feel the familiar knot forming in your stomach again. “Please! ‘m g-gonna come”
“Then come for me” Sunghoon voice was hot against your ringing ears and that was the push you needed before a tidal wave of pleasure crashed over you
You moaned loudly and Sunghoon groaned feeling you tightened around him from your climax and he noticed how you tried to pull away from him due to the simulation of his slipping cock in you.
You thought it was over as you panted tiredly and he slowed down his pace. But your legs were suddenly thrown over his shoulders as your body was pressed deeper into the mattress before he picked up his pace again.
You let out a loud sound, clawing at your sheets from the stimulation as your mind reeled from his brutal pace on your hole.
“We’re not done until I dump all of my cum inside you like my own personal cumdump” With the mention of the new nickname, you clamped down harder on him and he smirked feeling your reaction to his degrading words
“Oh? You like being your professor’s cumdump? You like knowing that you’ll be full of my cum so deep inside you, don’t you slut?”
“Yes yes yes” You blabbed as Sunghoon’s pace never let up as your pussy only continued to suck him in. “Gonna milk me for all my worth” Sunghoon groaned, feeling his own high rising
When you felt his cock twitch inside of you, you knew he was close. You clamped harder down on him wanting to stay true to his words. You were going to milk him for all his worth.
“Fuck! Tightening around me like that” Sunghoon panted as his head landed against your ear, Sunghoon’s thrust meeting your skin harshly that you swore there were would be bruising left
“Want all of it” Your voice was like a siren to him and Sunghoon knew exactly what you were referring to and he smirked proudly
“You want my cum that badly?” Your weak nods were sent straight to his ragging cock but suddenly he pulled out of you, making you feel empty
You whined loudly at the sudden emptiness, “Hoonie” The foreign nickname dragged out of your mouth and Sunghoon froze hearing it
He never knew such a nickname could make his heart flip and slowly have a power to conquer over him. He was going to need you to call him that forever.
He quickly lined himself back to your gaping hole before ramming his cock back into you with one thrust causing all air to be knocked out of you.
His pace was even more brutal as he used you like his own personal fleshlight. “H-Hoonie” You called out again and his mind was stuck on filling you up. He kept muttering soft ‘fucks’ and ‘just like that’ as he kept using your hole
But when he slowed down his pace suddenly after being so harsh and sloppy, you were going to complain before feeling such sharp thrust into you, jolting your body forwards until you felt hot spurts of his cum shoot deep inside you as Sunghoon rode out his high.
Sunghoon was telling the truth about filling you up as he gave a few more strokes inside of you to make sure his cum remained deep inside of you before painfully pulling out. He huffed, feeling the pressure of you finally releasing him and you whimpered feeling empty without him.
Sunghoon rubbed your sides as he admired your face shining in an afterglow he left you in. He smiled tiredly, planting kisses on your face. “You did so well baby, my good girl” His praises made you clench around nothing which forced his and your mix of cum to spill out of you
Sunghoon’s eyes traveled down and he was blessed that he did because he witnessed the most dazzling scene he had ever watched.
“You’re so fucking beautiful baby” He murmured as he pulled away from your sore body, creasing your inner thigh as he admired his work
You shivered feeling the sudden cold without his warmth on your body, your eyelids becoming heavy but your mouth fell open when his finger scooped around your messy pussy before sliding the mess back in.
“Don’t want to let it go to waste” Sunghoon hummed pushing his cum back deep into you, right where it was meant to be in
✎ᝰ。
Now in the present time. You made your way to Sunghoon’s office, having a bounce to your steps. As you walked through the campus, many people from students to the dean of the university happily greeted you as you passed by.
You were happy to wave back to them before finally reaching the destination you wanted to be at in the first place. You softly knocked on Sunghoon’s office door and it was almost as if he knew it was you(he did).
When he gave you the all clear to enter, you opened the door to peak your head inside before bringing in the rest of your body and Sunghoon swirled in his chair to face you as you walked in. Sunghoon had his rimless clear glasses hanging from his nose, a paper in hand with his white button sleeves folded up to his forearms, the watch you gifted him as a late birthday present gleamed on his wrist under the warm dim lighting and a few of the buttons undone from his shirt.
It was near the end of the day and the university was clearing up as faculty members and students finally left after finishing another tired filled day.
But unlike you, it was no surprise that people would see you staying behind to ‘study’ when in reality 5 times out of the week, you’re finding your way to Sunghoon’s office for the ‘briefings’ the two of you had established after that blissful night on Christmas day.
“Good evening Mr. Park” You greeted him formally but as you closed the door making sure to lock it, you went over to your favorite professor desk, dropping your bag on the chair in front of his desk as you went over to give him a kiss which he happily accepted
“Hi baby” He murmured in the kiss having missed your presence even though he saw you earlier that morning for the morning lecture
But that was never enough for him, he could only discreetly glance across the lecture hall as you attentively paid attention to his lesson.
He softly placed a hand on the back of your head to keep you against his lips for a moment longer before finally pulling away.
When he pulled away, he saw the dopey grin you had and his heart swelled. You went to grab your discarded bag on the chair before dragging the lonely chair in the corner of Sunghoon’s office that he reserved just for you and grabbed your laptop and all the papers you needed.
Sunghoon adjusted his own papers to accommodate your stuff now clamoring his desk just like how he always did for you.As you made yourself comfortable, you and Sunghoon stayed in comfortable silence as the two of you worked on your respective tasks.
This was how it usually starts whenever you came to visit your favorite professor for ‘debriefings’.
However, if it were to go further than this, it always depended on if either of you were in the mood (which was almost always) and who would initiate it first.
Sunghoon narrowed his eyes reading over a paper that made absolutely no sense, his hand slipped onto your thigh, giving a light squeeze when he saw yet another error on the paper.
You didn’t even flinch in the slightest from the squeeze, already used to it as you continued to type away on your laptop trying to submit something that was not even due until 2 weeks from now, but you always loved being ahead of the game.
You slightly tilted your head confused when you received an email but when you opened it, you silently squealed happily which caught Sunghoon’s attention.
He peeled his gaze away from the paper onto you who was smiling widely at your laptop screen. You could feel his questioning gaze and you faced him showing off your beautiful smile as you turned the laptop around for him to read the email you received.
He read the email with a stoic face but a small smile soon rose to his face when he finished. In the email it stated that you were the top student to receive the highest marks in the past semester finals.
“Congratulations baby” Your heart swelled to Sunghoon’s praise as you cheekily smiled, feeling proud of the achievement you accomplished yet again
“Last semester was a little harder so I’m surprised I placed first again” You admitted but you melted when Sunghoon soon creased your face feeling just how ultimately proud he was
“You achieved it because you deserved it, don’t ever doubt yourself” You rubbed your cheek against his hand, the smile still on your face and Sunghoon quickly put the paper in hand down and carefully pulled you onto his lap
You squeaked when you landed on his lap as he continued to crease your face as he stared at you with pure admiration. “So proud of my baby” He murmured as he planted softly kisses against your arm
You giggled the moment his mouth came to contact with your skin and you could feel his smile to your giggles, his arms snaking around your body, holding you firm on his lap.
“You deserve a reward don’t you? For such an achievement” He spoke as he looked to you and you shyly nodded your head because no matter how many times you were in this position you will still feel butterflies in your stomach
“I have to meet some deadlines this afternoon so give me a few minutes okay?” Your smile soon turned to a slight frown but you nodded your head in understanding
Sunghoon’s heart shattered seeing the frown on your face and he immediately offered something to help ease you until he could properly give you the treatment you deserve.
“Come sit on me mhm? Just to bay your aching self” You immediately perked at Sunghoon’s alternative and you were quick to start unbuckling his belt
He chuckled lowly seeing just how eager you were as you pulled your own pants down. “It’s almost as if you only work hard to get things from me” He joked, he knows it wasn’t true, you were naturally a hard worker but he liked to teased
When you pulled out his cock from his pants, you nearly salivated forgetting just how much you loved it. You saw how it softly twitched in your hand as it was slowly hardening. You smiled softly before pulling your panties to the side, you didn’t expect to need any prep because of the amount of arousal leaking out of you just by his praises alone.
You teased his growing angry tip with your hole and you slightly hisses thinking you would’ve been able to take it without prep but you overestimated yourself.
Sunghoon saw how your face contorted from the sudden stretch you thought you could handle and at first he was going to help you but as he saw you struggled to take him, he decided to let you take the lead.
His hands found their way to your hips to help steady yourself as you finally began to sink on him. Your soft gasp and whimpers and the way you clenched around him fueled Sunghoon to the moon. He tried to control himself from throwing everything off his desk to absolutely pound into you.
But he remembered he only offered you to sit on him until he finishes his work to meet his deadlines, but he was foolish to not think of his own being in this matter. He was snapped out of his thoughts when you bottomed out, you and him slightly hissing, you at the stretch and Sunghoon from the clench.
He rubbed circles on your hips. “You okay baby?” His words made you weakly nod, resting your forehand with his
He closed his eyes to be in the moment of having you in his arms, you wrapped so intimately around him. He soon found your lips with his as he gave you a loving kiss which you reciprocated with ease. You hummed happily in his kiss as your hands held the side of his face.
“I have to finish my deadline baby” Sunghoon told in between the kiss but you didn’t want to let him go just yet
“Five more minutes please” You pleaded as you pulled away and he couldn’t say no to you, he grabbed the back of your nape before brining your lips back onto his
You smiled happily in the kiss as you continued to sit on his lap, feeling his cock twitch every now, desperately wanting to move but not able to just yet.
When he pulled away from the kiss, your lips chased after his for a few more seconds and he smiled warmly at your actions.
“The quicker I finish this, the quicker I’m yours” He soothed your hips and ass that stayed pressed against him
You sighed heavily before turning around, you and him gasping at the small friction created, craving more but both of knocking yourself out of that haze.
You faced your back towards him as you poorly dragged your laptop to continue working.
Sunghoon weakly smiled before grabbing the discarded paper he was grading, before adjusting his glasses up his nose bridge as he continued reading over it.
A casual debriefing with your favorite professor.
✎ᝰ。
“Today you will be working in pairs for the assignment. Choose your partner carefully” Sunghoon announced dismissing the students that were quick to mingle with one another to see who would be willingly to be their partners
You remained sitting at your seat before placing your headphones on and beginning to tap away at your keyboard having the intent to finish the assignment quickly wanting to take a nap before going on the rest of your day.
You worked alone on every group or paired assignment Sunghoon assigned as he deemed it unfair how people would only pair up with you to have the intentions of taking advantage of your intelligence to get themselves a high mark.
So Sunghoon didn’t allow others to pair up with you which bothered you at first but you soon enjoyed it as you were able to go at the pace you wanted and complete the assignment the way you wanted to.
As you happily typed away searching through the textbook with your music playing. You were too engrossed in the assignment that you were brought back to reality when you felt a faint tap on your shoulder.
You looked away from your laptop to see a guy you’ve never seen before. His mouth was moving but you couldn’t hear him, you pulled on the side of your headphone away from your ear to listen.
“Oh I was speaking to you when you had headphones in, I’m sorry” He rambled out the apology as he nervously fiddled with his fingers, you could hear the hint of some type of accent in his voice as you waved him off to not worry about it
“I’m sorry to bother you, I just saw that you were working alone and I was wondering if you would like to partner up with me” The guys shyly asked as he rubbed his nape awkwardly waiting for your response
“I’m Jake by the way, I didn’t introduce myself earlier” The said Jake guy smiled and you gave a heartfelt smile in return “And you are?“
Your eyes widen at his question, Jake didn’t know who you were. But instead of being offended as others thought you would be if people didn’t know you were, it felt like a breath of fresh air.
You were so used to people having exceptions for you and you didn’t mind them knowing that it’s how you presented yourself but it was nice to know someone who was oblivious to who you were.
You introduced yourself to Jake and he continued to give you a kind smile before asking if he could take the seat next to you. You decided to indulge in this waif of fresh air in the form of Jake just a little, you had a good feeling that he wouldn’t be using you just to get a high mark.
However, you didn’t realize the piercing gaze that shot towards you from the professor’s podium. Sunghoon gripped the side of the podium tightly that he might’ve left indents but he didn’t care.
Seeing you suddenly became all chatty with someone set something ugly in him. The way you were smiling at the guy who awfully took a seat close to you made something in him rot. Why were you smiling like that?
Yet, Sunghoon found it even more sickening that his students took notice the new pair of you and Jake. They knew Sunghoon’s rule that no one was allowed to pair up with you to provide fairness which was half true so why wasn’t he applying the rule onto Jake? He wondered that himself but he saw how you looked relaxed in his presence and he decided to let you have your little fun.
What was supposed to be a paired project that took up the whole class, was completed by you and Jake not even 30 minutes later after assigning it and that bothered Sunghoon greatly.
You were laughing at something Jake said as you were walking up to Sunghoon’s desk and when you reached it, you immediately knew something was off. Instead of raising his head to give you his undivided attention like always, he didn’t bother to look up.
He kept his gaze down at his desk that was scattered with papers and he only motioned for you lay the paper down at the corner of the desk instead of handing it to him to grade immediately.
Your stomach churned as you noticed Sunghoon was treating you differently today. He didn’t utter a single remark to you on how you finished early and only remained silent.
You stayed frozen for a moment in shock to his new behavior towards you but he didn’t seem to care in the slightest and this made your heart hurt.
Jake faintly called your name to garner your zoned attention and when you finally began peeling yourself away from his desk, Sunghoon finally called out your name.
You turned almost immediately that you hoped no one noticed. You saw Sunghoon skimming through yours and Jake’s completed paper, his grimace growing by the second.
“Please meet me in my office later to discuss your performance in my class” Sunghoon said before placing the paper back down, letting out a disappointed sigh as he adjusted his glasses
Your heart dropped. You could only aimlessly nod your head as your mind reeled with questions and worry.
“Uh do you need to see me as well Mr. Park?” Jake chimed in and Sunghoon didn’t even dare to look at Jake and shook his head
“No, this only concerns her. She is the top student and it would pain the whole university to see her slip up” Sunghoon’s words cut through you like a knife and you tried to hold back the tears that burned your eyes
You hated when you were talked down upon, especially when it came to your academics and Sunghoon knew that perfectly well.
✎ᝰ。
You softly knocked on Sunghoon’s office door at the usual time for the ‘debriefings’ and he called you in with a tone that you had never heard before. You struggled to swallow down as you stepped into his office and having to be on the receiving end of Sunghoon’s harsh gaze.
It was as if your brain went into autopilot as you fell into you usual routine whenever you were in his office. You closed the door behind you, making sure it’s locked, dropping your bag on the chair in front of his desk and going over to his side to give him a kiss.
But right when you were going to kiss him, Sunghoon jerked away from you adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. You blinked unexpected by his actions as the unease started to settle in your stomach more as you stared at him as he motioned for to sit but not in your usual seat reserved for you.
Forced to sit in the seat that he made everyone else sit on. You could feel your heart crawling to your throat as your heavy steps took you to the chair in front of him, grabbing your bag before placing it on your lap.
“Do you know I asked for you here?” Sunghoon raised an eyebrow as he rested his elbow on his desk
Your eyes shifted from him and onto your lap as you fiddled with your fingers and you could hear his heavy sigh at your lack of response. “Well you should’ve checked your work before submitting it to me” He told
Your eyes widen as it finally registered in your mind. You made to triple check the work before submitting it to Sunghoon and you knew it was correct. But hearing it from his harsh tones made your eyes watered with tears as you believed his words that you were in fact slipping up.
Sunghoon noticed your demeanor dropping at his words and he wanted to ease your growing frantic self, always despising seeing you like this as he knew you took your academics very seriously, but a greater rage burned him that made him overlook you.
“You know we take academic here very serious, especially yours. Do you know how much it pained me to give you a failing grade on the assignment?” Your jaw dropped as you let out a shivered breath
You’ve never failed an assignment before so hearing that that you received your very first failing grade especially it being from Sunghoon’s class made your world crash down.
You stared at him with fear spreading across your face and you almost broke down right then and there.
“I-I failed it?” Your voice was shaky as you tried to keep your composure as you stared to Sunghoon with teary eyes
Of course you didn’t actually fail the assignment, you excelled in it like you always did. However, Sunghoon was so bothered that most of the answers weren’t in your handwriting but rather by someone else’s, your partner, Jake.
It aggravated him skimming over the paper seeing the doodles he usually loves smeared with someone else’s doodles along side yours.
There were signs of multiple tic tac toe rounds on the paper with little notes saying ‘I win’ or ‘You lose’ in your handwriting that was responded to by Jake’s writing of ‘I’ll win next round’ or ‘I’ll destroy you’.
I’ll destroy you.
Sunghoon wanted to burn the paper to atoms acting like it never existed in the first place but he couldn’t do that. He had to put the grade in for his favorite student.
“It breaks my heart to put the grade in” Sunghoon sighed but you quickly weeped in pure desperation
“Sunghoon it’ll drop my grade down, it’ll cause my overall GPA to drop! Please don’t put it in. I’ll do anything! Just please don’t put it in the grade book” Your sniffled pleas set something off in Sunghoon as he saw the tears spilling from your eyes, in his eyes you were the prettiest crier
“Anything?” Sunghoon raised an eyebrow and you quickly got up from the seat and dropped yourself down to your knees in front of him as you stared up to him with teary eyes
It wasn’t your first time being in this position, but it was the first time that you were doing this in order to avoid a failing grade. But you simply couldn’t afford it.
Sunghoon got up from his chair before crouching to meet at your level. “Aw my good girl knows just what to do” He hummed warmly as you lips quivered from held back sobs
He wiped your tears away with his thumb with a sinister look in his eye before taking place back in his chair as he manspread in front of you, waiting for you to crawl to him.
You felt humiliated having to do this but your grade was at stake and you couldn’t allow a slip up, you needed to make sure everyone was aware that you still and forever will be the top student.
As you kneeled before Sunghoon, he tried to suppress the smirk daring to grow on his face. You looked absolutely perfect before him and just like Jake’s words. “I’ll destroy you baby” He softly murmured creasing the side of your face, a sign of endearment instead of the cold stoic felling he was showing you beforehand
As you fondled with his belt and slacks in order to bring them to his mid thigh just enough for you to pull out his heavy cock that leaked with precum at the tip.
You knew what you needed to do as you began softly stroking his cock with your hands. Sunghoon groaned lowly as he watched your hands wrap around his cock before moving up and down dragging out the movements. “Better start working faster than that baby”
You replaced your hands with your mouth as dragged your tongue from the base all the way to his tip’s slit. Sunghoon threw his head back letting a rubble erupt from his chest as you began to leave feather kisses at his tip before opening your mouth to suck him.
As your mouth began to close around him, he closed his eyes forgetting just how wonderful your mouth was to him. “Damnit baby” His breathless pants continued as you bobbed your head up and down trying to find the pace that always set him on the edge
You tried to swallow him whole as you managed to bottom him out, feeling him in the back of your throat. You gagged trying to hold your place there as much as you could before ripping yourself away for air.
You panted heavily with a string of saliva connecting your lips to Sunghoon’s cock and he smirked widely at this. You gulped still trying to catch your breath before connecting your lips back onto his tip as your tongue swirled around, trying to clean him from all the precum.
You looked up to him to see him staring at you as if you were the only person left in the world. You maintained eye contact with him as you sucked, the wet noises filling his office.
Sunghoon’s mind reeled in the feeling of your mouth as he let out breathless grunts and groans as he felt your hands fondling with his aching balls as you continued to suck him for all his worth. As he was getting lost in the sensation his hands instinctively came to the top of your head as he began to buck his hips into your mouth. “You’d let me fuck your pretty mouth won’t you?”
You gagged as his cock slipped deeper into your throat, spit forming at the side of your mouth as you weakly nodded your head and that was all Sunghoon needed to use your throat.
He adjusted himself, feeling how you became pliant in his hands as he bobbed your head and down his length to meet his harsh thrust. You placed your hands on his knees, gagging loudly as tears burned your eyes more as Sunghoon continued to use your mouth for his own pleasure.
“Just like that baby, fuck. You’re so perfect for me” He groaned out, you weren’t able to respond as he continued to use your mouth and you could tell he was already close as his thrust became more frantic chasing his release
After a few more harsh thrust, his seed spilled in your throat and he groaned loudly as he pulled you away to have his cum shoot onto your face and shirt.
When Sunghoon finally came down from his high, he was breathing heavily trying to come back from the high of the mind goggling head you always give him but he saw the sight in front of him.
Your face and shirt stained with his release as you looked to him with doe eyes and he grabbed your jaw forcing you to open to see if you swallowed the little remnants you got before he pulled away.
He stroked your face lovingly as he saw that there was nothing left behind. He scooped the spurts of cum on your face with his finger and bringing it to your mouth. You knew what he wanted and you gave it him as you sucked his finger clean.
Sunghoon brought you up from your knees to bring you into a rough kiss. The kiss was reverent as his hold on you was tight. “Gonna make sure you don’t remember your name, let alone that fuckass partner of yours” Sunghoon gruff out before flipping you over his desk where student’s paper were soon scattered everywhere
Hearing his words made you realized that his behavior stemmed from unnecessary jealousy caused by Jake. You were surprised seeing just how jealous he got and it sent a wave straight down to your aching heat.
Yet, you shirked when the cold air suddenly hit your bare bottom “You soaked right through your panties” Sunghoon’s finger grazed your drenching core “You’re so wet… Just for me right baby?” You lambently nodded your head, losing yourself in the small friction
“All for you” You breathed out and before you realized, Sunghoon was already sinking into you. You gasped loudly at the unexpected intrusion, feeling the familiar stretch of his cock breaking you
“H-hoon!” You whimpered as you tried to get accustomed to the burn but Sunghoon didn’t listen to your pleas as he already began to move in your tight hole
“Sucking me in so good” Sunghoon chuckled as you gripped the ends of his desk feeling your body jolting from his shallow thrust “Hoonie” You strained out a moan but he was quick to send a spank to your ass
“That’s not my name- damnit no matter how many times I split you open you’re still so tight” He let out as he fully sunk in, groaning at how tight you were clenching around him
And without anytime for you catch your breath from the familiar stretch, he was already slipping in and out of you as he was soon finding a fast rhythmic pace that had you seeing stars.
The office filled with your moans and sound of skin slapping, “S-sir please faster” You whined knowing that you shouldn’t have asked for something you couldn’t handle but you were already too beyond any rational thinking
“You wanna get fucked like the slut you are? Is that why you were practically flirting with him? Just to get my attention so that I can bend you over my desk and breed your pussy?” His fingers dug into your hips as he started to pound into you with no remorse, his tip bruising your cervix and you could feel the wind knocked out of you as you became a moaning mess
“Answer me slut” He gave another smack to your ass and you groaned at the stinging sensation, trying to form any sort of coherent words
“Y-yes- Breed me” Your few words only soared Sunghoon’s pride as he wrapped his bicep around your head to press your body against his as you threw your head back, your whines filling his ears
“Cream on my cock baby, just like how you were molded to” The noise in his office were beyond obscene, the wet noises mixing in with the skin on skin and his degrading words made you dizzy
Sunghoon could tell you were close as you were clenching around him tighter and tighter until you came all over his ramming cock. You moaned loudly as he helped you ride out your high but instead of slowing down, he only continued faster.
You tried to claw at his forearms in hopes for him to slow down as you felt your knees giving out on you and if not for him holding you up by his biceps, you would’ve fallen to the ground. You were beyond overstimulated but Sunghoon didn’t care as he continued to chase his own high.
“Fucking slut wanted to get fucked so badly… Had to do anything- S-shit! Just to get my attention” Your mouth stayed opened as all noises fell from it as your mind became hazy from the overstimulation, his relentless thrust and the headlock he had you in
You were too far gone but deep down, you wouldn’t be mad if he decided to fuck you like this every time. “S-sir” You chanted out nonstop
“What was your partner’s name? Tell me” Your body kept moving with his thrust and you could feel yourself losing it, “I asked for his name slut” And you know you shouldn’t have responded, you should’ve acted oblivious but you wanted to add fuel to the blaring fire
“Ja-Ja..k-“ You couldn’t even finish saying Jake’s name as Sunghoon’s headlock tighten around you and somehow his pace only become even more animalistic than what it already was. You held back a scream as you could feel a second wave of your orgasm building up.
“Say his name again and see what the fuck happens” Sunghoon warned before letting you out of his headlock having you body fall forward onto his desk as his hand pressed against your back to keep you there as his freehand had it’s fingers immediately find their way to your swollen clit begging for attention
You squealed as he rubbed your clit before adding tight pinches causing you to only thought of him, Sunghoon, Sir, Hoon, Hoonie, your favorite professor, Mr. Park.
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you felt your second orgasm crash over your stimulated body. “Shit baby shit, just… Ahh- a little more. Gonna breed this pussy the way it was meant to”
‘You’ll remember who can only do this to you” Sunghoon started rambling, “I’m the only one that breed your pussy this good” His thrust became sloppy and you could feel his cock twitching inside you.
And when he gave the final harsh thrust, jolting your body forward causing some papers to fall off his desk, you whimpered feeling his hot release spurt into you, painting your velvet wall all white of him.
Sunghoon gave a few more painful thrust to make sure he fucked his cum deep into you before pulling out. You whined feeling suddenly empty without him inside you.
Sunghoon saw how your mixed released dripped down your thigh and he admired the scene. How ruined you were because of him. His finger scooped up the falling cum only to shove it back into your gaping hole, you whimpered at the intrusion of his fingers but he gave pepper kisses on your back.
“Shh it’s okay” He hummed before carefully peeling your body off his desk that was now an even more of a mess
The afterglow you had could be seen from miles away and Sunghoon smiled warmly as he brought your sensitive body toward him to cradle you as he sat in his chair with you on his lap. “You did so good baby, took everything I gave you”
You relished in the praise but it soon creeped back into your mind of why this had happened in the first place. “F-fail?” Was all you could murmur and Sunghoon cooed at you before softly slipping his fingers over your body towards your overstimulated clit
Your body jolted from his fingers as you whined shaking your head, trying to peel his fingers away from your swollen bud not able take anymore but Sunghoon shook his head.
“You can give me another one baby, I know you can” You whimpered as your attempt were futile as his fingers began rubbing over the bud in a painfully slow circular motion “Let me take care of you. Then we can see if you still failed or not”
✎ᝰ。
When you finally made it back home that night after being dropped off by Sunghoon who made sure to give you an extra longer of a kiss at your front door, you landed straight onto your bed, absolutely exhausted from the rounds Sunghoon had put you through.
You always forget how high his stamina is and you know unlocked another level of his stamina by ten folds that only shined when his jealousy was through the roof.
You weakly pulled out your phone to see a message wishing you a goodnight and hope that you sleep well by Sunghoon and you chuckled softly to yourself, making sure to reply to him before going to check your grade for the paired assignment that you were afraid of seeing a failing grade instead of a passing one.
But with the little energy left in your body, you sat up on your bed, immediately smiling seeing the 104 percent left by Mr. Park for the paired assignment with a single comment left by him, ‘Good job’.
Even though it was simple comment, you knew it was only directed to you and not Jake (Sunghoon heavily expressed rather negative opinions about him in the car ride to yours even though Jake did no wrong).
Your heart filled to the brim seeing not only had you received full marks on the assignment, but you also received an extra 4 points just for being such a good student, his favorite student.
✎ᝰ。
Time flew by as it was soon reaching the end of the second half of the semester before going on summer break. And as time was passing, it caused an unsettling unease to rest in your heart. The ‘relationship’ you had established with Sunghoon ever since winter break only continued to blur as you didn’t know what you two even were. You knew the two of you were intimate sexually but you always became confused when it came to romantic aspect of things.
But on Sunghoon’s end he never really used words to begin with, he rather used actions to express what he was feeling for you (even if you were oblivious to them).
You didn’t realize that whenever you would complain to Sunghoon about running out of your favorite chapstick it somehow magically appeared placed at your seat with a sticky note that had written on ‘:)’ or when you felt overwhelmed about some long project that none of your other partners were working on, expecting you to do all the work, which somehow ended up with you receiving full credit while the rest of your partners received nothing.
Sunghoon loved to shower you in his affection of gift giving, ranging from something easy like flowers everyday to the latest tiffany & co. necklace and bracelet set he thought suited you the best. Whatever you could possibly think of having and wanting, he would get it for you in a flash.
But with all of his actions, it was unclear to you where his feelings lied for you.
Even though he would randomly show up at your doorstep just because he missed you and wanted to see to you which always ended up having you and him cuddle in your bed until the next morning as you both rushed to the university after sleeping past the alarms in each other’s arms.
It didn’t mean he cared about you the same way you cared about him. He could easily just be doing all of that to make sure you stick around in which he did a good job because the sheer thought of some else entering the picture and have Sunghoon leave you in the dust always kept you up at night, fear eating you from the inside out.
But your worst nightmare came true as in walked someone else, another rising star student.
She transferred last year from another prestigious university and she was known to be the top student but when she transferred, she was placed in the 5th slot of the top 5 fives students, you still remaining in the 1st slot.
It was impossible of how she didn’t hear about you. She heard praises left and right for you for simply walking by and she was curious. That’s when she realized you were the top 1 student in the entire university. That was when she was determined to achieve the top 1 spot for herself. She began in the year she transferred to bypass all of the top 3 students to secure her spot in the top 2, just below you.
When you finally heard of a rising student and how she bypassed the top 3 students in a short amount of time and was now top 2, you were impressed instead of bothered as the gap between you two was unshakeable.
But you didn’t realized how she was willing to do anything in order to take the number 1 spot from you. It was nothing personal towards you but you were the pride and joy of the university and she was simply wanted the title for herself.
So when she heard she would be sharing a class with you in the beginning of the first term, she was excited to see how both of you would perform in the hardest taught on campus by the strictest teacher Mr. Park.
She’s heard from other students taking the class that it wasn’t easy and barely anyone was able to pass it with the minimum required grade and this piqued her interest seeing how the top 1 student would succumb to the pressure in order to ensure her replacement of your high title.
But she soon realized that she was the one rather falling behind as the marks on her papers kept decreasing slowly but surely. While, you were receiving 100 percents with ease and would even receive extra credit sometimes and she was aggravated by this it.
She completely lost it when she saw the 75 percent on her paper from the paired assignment. When she glanced over to you when you received your paper only to see how you had scored a whopping 104 percent, which she didn’t know was even possible.
People congratulated you (and Jake) for being the highest mark out of the entire student body taking the course. Your wide smile as you accepted the compliments infuriated her, she wanted to wipe that smile right off your face.
And so she decided to attack the root cause, as she found herself in front of the very professor’s office that she couldn’t seem to pass with high remarks. She was hesitant on knocking, never really speaking to her professor during class especially outside of it for anything, choosing to silently struggle. She was worried Mr. Park hadn’t even paid attention to her because he had you taking his course (especially being in the same class as her).
She was living in your shadow and she was growing tired of it. She wanted to be adored by everyone just like how you were and set the curve. And hopefully talking to Mr. Park will help her achieve the little stepping stone she needed in order to determine her victory against you.
She softly knocked before overthinking anymore as she waited for a moment and that’s when she finally heard a faint ‘come in’.
Now any living being would tell you Mr. Park was undeniably attractive that it was actually sickening that someone like him existed and was teaching as a professor. She was no exception, seeing him in white button up, his jacket covering over his body as his infamous clear glasses rested perfectly on his nose bridge set an unspeakable fire in her.
“Hello Mr. Park” Her voice was unknowingly becoming smaller as his harsh gaze met her nervous ones
How you were able to approach him with such ease while everyone else struggled blew her mind but she remembered no one else was receiving 100 plus marks in his class besides you so she quickly diminished that thought.
“Good evening, I don’t believe you’ve set up an appointment or may have I missed it? Let me double check, please sit down” Sunghoon motioned to the seat in front of his desk which she accepted, she couldn’t dare tell him that she didn’t make an appointment to meet with him
She looked around his office to see it neatly done to a T expected from her professor. Her eyes caught sight of a random chair in the corner of his office. She furrowed her eyebrows but Sunghoon’s quickly brought her attention back and away from the chair.
“I don’t seem to have you down for an appointment, if you wish to discuss anything with me. Please make an appointment beforehand with the link provided in your online syllabus” Sunghoon told before brining his attention back to his work in front of him
“W-wait M-Mr. Park. I really need to talk to you, it’s important” Sunghoon stopped and placed the papers down before sighing heavily, he normally doesn’t do this but he was in a good mood since you stopped by during his lunch break just because you wanted to see him so he let it slide this one time
“This will only a one time thing. I do not excuse carelessness, if you wish to speak make an appointment on the provided schedule” Sunghoon told before motioning her to speak and she was dumb founded, all rationality left her mind
Her mind reeled as she spoke the first thing that came to her head, “Do you work out Mr. Park?” She tried to put on her best sultry voice hoping it would achieve what she wanted
Sunghoon furrowed his eyebrows and stared at her, “Excuse me?”
“Seeing the 75 on the paired assignment made me so sad and I-I just wanted to let you know that I’m willing to do anything to change my grade” She pleaded helplessly hoping that he would give into her pleas to have her grade change
He knew he was a hypocrite for his next choice of words but he didn’t need anyone else, especially when he had you. “Please remove yourself my office and I will choose to ignore such requests” Sunghoon sighed realizing what she was trying to insinuate, this wasn’t the first time someone had tried to come to him to give him whatever he ‘wanted’ in exchange to get their grade up
She pouted harshly having been denied and Sunghoon almost showed his grimace at her pout, her pout wasn’t yours. But she wasn’t going to go down without a fight.
She made her way up from the chair and Sunghoon thought she was leaving but what he didn’t expect was her to suddenly turn around and walk over to his side of the desk and drop to her knees in front of him.
He jumped back in his chair as he adjusted himself as he stared at her in shock. “What are you doing?” Sunghoon asked and she looked up to him with an attempt of doe eyes and instead of feeling aroused like she had hoped, he felt sick
He wasn’t going to do anything with anyone else. He already you and he was never going to let that go.
She put her hair into a makeshift ponytail with her hands as she blinked her eyes innocently to him as she silently was offering herself. But Sunghoon looked away from her and motioned for her to stand up “Get up” Sunghoon’s authoritative tone made her weak in her knees and she thought that he was finally caving in to her
Yet, right when she was going to stand she heard a faint knock at his office door and Sunghoon immediately recognized that knock as yours. His heart rate jumped, he took a glance towards the clock to see that you were right on time for your ‘debriefings’ and he knew this scene looked completely wrong and he couldn’t possibly have you get any wrong idea.
But Sunghoon whipped his head when she saw her shuffling under his desk and he shook his head violently as she brought a finger to her lips to shush him but he wasn’t having any of it. “I am not going to repeat myself, get up” He warned which caused her let out a loud huff which didn’t go unnoticed by you on the other side of the door,
When she was going to place the faintest kiss on his knee through his pants, he jerked his leg away before she could do so. She sadly pouted before getting up from her previous position. She had mischievous smirk on her face, believing she had won in some type of way.
She grabbed her bag from the chair as she went over to the door and right before opening it, she send a playful wink towards her professor. “Thank you again Mr. Park” She spoke as opening the door and there she saw you standing innocent and oblivious to what was happening his Sunghoon’s office
Your eyes widen in shock seeing her leave Sunghoon’s office, you never once saw her here before let alone even speak to him during class.
Her smirk grew wider seeing you before holding her head high, discreetly wiping her lips with her fingers before happily greeting you.
“Oh? What you doing here?” She innocent raised an eyebrow almost as if mocking you
“Letter recommendation” You curtly responded which was a lie, you were here for the ‘debriefings’ you and Sunghoon always had but you don’t remember him telling you that he was going to be occupied beforehand
She smiled not saying anything else as she walked past you without a goodbye. You could feel and hear the silent screams she was giving you as she left you which all lead from the very startled professor that was now in front of you at the door.
You took in his appearance, he still looked like his formal self. Still neatly dressed from head to toe, his hair still intact but that didn’t ease the unsettling pain in your chest.
“How can I help you?” Sunghoon made room for you to enter his office, trying everything in his power to remain professional
You stopped your quivering lips as you shook your head, “Nothing, I thought I needed something but I don’t need it anymore” You emptily told before turning your heel and walking away from your professor
Sunghoon was stunned as this was the first time you never stayed for the debriefings and he could feel his heart squeeze as it settled in his mind everything was far from okay. His hands turned into fist in order to prevent himself from chasing after you, not caring who would see but he needed to remind himself that he was not your boyfriend. He was just your professor, someone that you were seeing that was hopelessly head over heels for you.
✎ᝰ。
Now he expected for it to be a simple misunderstanding that he could clear up with a few messages and going over to yours. But every time he tried to even reach you, you dodged him like a plague and acted like he didn’t even exist. The daily talks and messages became shorter and shorter until you were leaving him on delivered for hours on end only to see his message and not even respond.
You stopped coming for ‘debriefings’ all together and it was if nothing had ever happened between the two of you and he was slowly losing himself the more time he went without you. He knew you ways he shouldn’t but he did, neither you or him could ever forget that no matter how hard you tried.
What starting driving him to insanity were times where he saw you leaving his class without a glance towards him a the old lingering gaze shared was long forgotten as it was replaced with you staring at Jake as you laughed and smiled at something he told you.
And he knew it was highly unprofessional of him to even think this but Sunghoon felt the urge every time to throw a punch at Jake anytime he saw you two together.
Sunghoon’s biggest fear was coming true, you leaving him when he was already in too deep. He knew he had to act quickly before it was too late and he lost the only thing that mattered in his life. He needed to bring you back to him.
✎ᝰ。
It was the last day of the semester right before summer break and after finishing all finals (with the highest mark as always) and completing the finals assignments needed to ensure to leave the two terms with ease and remaining in your spot as the top student in the university.
You haven’t spoken much to Sunghoon during the past few leading up till this day. You knew it was rather childish on your part but something in your head told you that Sunghoon no longer needed you as he was seeming to be fulfilled by someone else that wasn’t you(even though he never forgot about you once, always making sure to send messages to you every morning and night just in case one day you decide to finally answer him).
As you and Jake were leaving Sunghoon’s last lecture, he was starting to ask you something, “So I was wondering if you would-“ but he was interrupted by the call of your name from Sunghoon who motioned for you to stay behind.
You were going to ignore him but your body had a mind of its own as you bid goodbye to Jake easily before discreetly taking a gulp as you hadn’t spoken properly to him and he was finally taking initiative in person.
‘I-I’ll wait for you outside!” Jake told and you gave a quick wave back before making your way over to Sunghoon’s desk and when it was finally just the two of you, Sunghoon’s dark chuckle rippled throughout the empty lecture hall
“Meet me in my office at the usual time” But before you could muster any type of response to avoid him, he motioned for you to stop, “I said meet me in my office, that is final” You should’ve said no but you were weak for him as sighed in defeated before muttered under your breath
“Why don’t you ask her to meet you in your office…” Sunghoon heard your muttered and his eyebrows furrowed and his lips twitched
“Because I need you in my office” Sunghoon told before lowering his voice to make sure you could only hear him, “Now be a good girl and listen” His voice sent shivers up your spine and you frowned before muttering a small ‘whatever’ before walking away
He smirked, pleased with your reaction as he was realizing you were jealousy, a possessive jealousy you had over him laid in his heart nicely.
✎ᝰ。
You softly knocked on Sunghoon’s office door as you always used do and your expected hearing his usual ‘come in’. But you were surprised to see him see opening the door for you.
You stared at him in shock as he moved to make room for you to come in. You gulped and awkwardly stepped in as it finally sunk into your mind of how long it has been since you were last in Sunghoon’s office, let alone in his presence in uh a close proximity.
But your mind filled with a distraught thought of what you thought to have happened between Sunghoon and the girl during the time that you and Sunghoon weren’t personally seeing each other outside of his lectures.
You wanted to light the whole office on fire to destroy any residue that the girl could’ve possible left behind. You hated that she was inside such a sacred place to you and what you thought was for Sunghoon too.
“Why did you want to meet with me?” You were in no mood to mess around and quickly wanted to get whatever he wanted done and over with
You saw how Sunghoon closed the door and easily locked the door and you knew you were in for it. “I’ve missed you as simple as that” He truthfully told before taking strides towards you, “How come my baby has been ignoring me?“ Sunghoon brought down the cold demeanor he shows everyone besides you, only you were the only one to ever see this side, the down right bad side of Sunghoon for you
You closed your eyes and shifted your head not wanting his words to work on you. But when you felt Sunghoon’s frame from behind goosebumps filled your body as his breath fanned over the shell of your ear with his hands finding their way to your waist. “Well? Why have you been ignoring me?”
You shivered as his words cut through you and you bit your lip to prevent yourself from speaking but the way Sunghoon’s hands carefully ran up the side of your body, his breath filling your ears, you could feel yourself melting.
“You were with her, didn’t think you wanted me anymore” When Sunghoon heard your response he stopped the running of his hands and let out a scoff, how could you have possibly think that?
“Baby you’re all I ever want. I was never with her in the first place nor would I ever even think about having someone else when I have you” Sunghoon’s voice rippled in your head as you tried to finally understand what he’s been telling you from the start
“But she was in your office” You mumbled, “She wiped her lips in front of me like a mockery. She was setting her claim on you” You huffed out feeling the anger rise in you, remembering the moment that has been haunting you nonstop
“But you already made your claim on me”
“I can only hold one and I choose to hold yours” Sunghoon turned your body to fully face him and he saw how your eyes refused to meet his causing him to smile, he lifted your head up by your chin, “Baby I’m forever yours”
You finally looked to meet his eyes and you could see nothing but sincerity in them and you could feel the warmth melt into you. “You promise?” You murmured and he nodded his head
“I promise my whole life on it” You finally allowed yourself to indulge in the very thing you’ve been longing for ever since you deprived yourself of it, you grabbed his nape before bringing his lips to crash onto yours. All tension and unease melted away in the kiss and Sunghoon engulfed you in his arms as he held your body close to his
Your and his lips worked in synchronization like they were made for each other, Sunghoon tried to pour all of emotions into that kiss as it was soon growing sloppier by the minute. “What about Jake? Always saw him with you, I was losing my mind seeing the way you were smiling at him” He gasped in the kiss before moving to plant kisses onto your cheek and neck, you hummed feeling the sensation as you shook your head
“He’s just a friend, a mere distraction from you” You responded and you could feel the way Sunghoon’s grip tightened around you before chuckling against your skin
“A friend now huh? What else happened when you weren’t talking to me?” He asked, detaching himself from you to hold your hips in his hands, you could see the familiar glint in his eyes as he stared at you like a starved man
He brought his lips to whisper in your ear, “You let him fuck your used up pussy?” The degrading words made you clench around nothing and Sunghoon could feel the way you knees slightly buckled at his words
“I got you baby don’t worry” He assured you before attaching his mouth back onto your lips before sucking on your sweet spot causing you hands to tangle in his hair
“Never” You let out a breathless moan as you could feel how he nibbled on your sweet spot before soothing it by running his tongue over it
“Good girl” He gently guided your body to have your back pressed against his desk as his breath fanning yours as he rested his forehead on yours, “I missed you so much, you don’t even understand how much I did” Sunghoon tenderly held you as he softly recaptured your lips with his
You wrapped your arms around his neck as his hands rested on your hips, “Missed you too, so much” You spoke in the kiss causing your teeth to clash together as the kiss became desperate
Sunghoon broke away from the kiss to let himself softly play with the top of your pants, “Let me take care of you baby, need to show you just how important you are to me” You nodded your head with need, letting Sunghoon bring your pants and panties down all in one shot before guiding you to sit on his desk, discarding everything on it
When he caught sight of your glistening of your lips, he almost let out a groan before allowing his fingers to spread your lips apart, “So wet for me”
“H-hoonie” The nickname that was only reserved for you to use fell from your mouth as a moan
“Gonna show you that you’re all I ever need” Sunghoon told before looking into your eyes and letting his finger slipped past your slick and into you, you gasped and threw your head down.
“Always ready for whatever I give you. You’re such a good girl” He kissed the side of your face ad he pumped his finger slowly in and out of you
You whimpered as his finger alone sent you to heights that you never reached by yourself. “You’re being so good for me, you’re the best of the best. No one ever comes close to you” Sunghoon’s praises sent your heart afloat
Sunghoon slipped another finger into you and you could feel the stretch growing as you gripped his forearm, gasping loudly as he continued to move his fingers in and out of you seeing how you coated them beautifully.
He laid your body down on his desk, as he admired how finger disappeared in your hole in need. You let your head fall back onto the desk but you immediately shot your head up when you felt the contact of Sunghoon’s tongue on your clit.
Your hands unconsciously gripped on his hair as his fingers pumped out of you as his tongue flicked over your clit before giving kisses onto it. Your moans began to loudly fill the room
“Hoonie, Hoonie, Hoonie!” You chanted his name like a prayer as he continued to bring you only what he could make you feel, a wave of pleasure washed over you as you came, forcing Sunghoon’s fingers out of you as they were covered with your release
You panted heavily trying to come back from your high and Sunghoon adored the scene in front of him. He removed his glasses to softly place them onto your panting self. When you opened your eyes in confusion, you saw how he looked at you in pure awe. You looked so beautiful in his glasses, that he made a mental note to buy you a matching pair with his.
However, you couldn’t even ask him because your body jolted when Sunghoon’s mouth came to contact with your needy self as he moaned, tasting you your sweet venom that he could get lost in.
“The sweetest thing to ever exist” He blabbed against you as he sucked harshly and letting his tongue tease your gaping hole
Your hands found their way back into his hair as he sensually ate you out to savor you. The slurps were obscene on the ears but it felt like a paradise. Sunghoon placed your legs over his shoulders in order to burry his mouth deeper in you, as he kept lapping at your pussy.
His nose finally grazing your clit without his glasses interfering and the familiar build up in your stomach soon began to rise again.
He noticed how your hole clenched around his tongue and he smirked as he gripped onto your thighs to continue to eat you like a starved man. “Cum on my tongue baby” His soft voice of encouragement made you whine as you kept letting out breathless chants of his name
His nose continued to rub over your clit and he could tell you were getting closer as your hold on his hair tightened painfully but he didn’t mind.
You felt your second orgasm shoot through you and Sunghoon hummed happily as he continued to place kisses and licks across your soaked core as you rode out your high.
When he finally disconnected from you, a string of saliva connected from his lips to you caused him to give a foolish smile at the sight. You panted heavily unable to open your eyes from the amount of pleasure you were in, as your head was against the desk but you could feel it being raised by Sunghoon.
You lazily opened your eyes to see how from his nose down, he was completely covered in you. Sunghoon rose to his feet and lifted your weak body from the desk up and brought his covered lips onto you.
You could taste yourself on him and you slightly grimaced but Sunghoon’s hand prevented you from pulling away.
“You taste how good and sweet you are? I could get lost in you forever” Sunghoon spoke as you desperately kissed him back
The kiss lasted longer than what either of you had intended but it was able to showcase the hidden feelings that you were too afraid to admit.
You were the first to pull away as he chased after your lips causing you to chuckle softly before stopping him. He opened his eyes to look directly at you and you felt the harsh flutter in your chest.
“The prettiest girl to ever grace the earth” He honestly told and your cheeks flushed wildly at his words he planted a soft kiss against them
He unbuckled his belt to bring his pants down mid-thigh, just enough to have his cock spring out after being held in the confinement of his pants for so long.
Sunghoon carefully spread your legs apart for him and your pussy shined with your arousal and release as he noticed your hole clenched around nothing, begging to be filled.
He slotted himself between your legs as he smothered his tip leaking over yourself and you gasped feeling him and your mind became dizzy from the taste of his tip alone, “I’m going to take care of you, let me do all the work baby”
His cock lined up with your entrance as he teased the tip against your gaping hole to adjust you to his size and he noticed are you were desperately trying to sink him more into you, which caused him to pull back. “Come on baby, be the good girl you are and wait”
You bit back your lip to hold back your whimper but your mouth dropped feeling Sunghoon fill you in one deep thrust.
He groaned feeling your tightness even after he prepped you, “How is it that you’re always so tight?”
“B-Big” You let out in a breath and no matter how many times you tell him that, his ego will always skyrocket from it
“I know baby but you always take everything I give you. You can handle it” Sunghoon soothed you by rubbing your thigh, letting you get adjusted to his size
As your heavy breathing subsided and you gave a weak nod as his sign that he could move, he made sure to start off slowly and drag him in and out of you.
His deep thrust was calculated to be slow and sensual as he wanted you to have it engraved in your mind that you were the only one for him.
With his deep thrust he was able to hit your sweet spot every time and you were falling apart on his cock. He noticed the daze he was putting you in as he captured your lips.
The kiss was able to speak louder than any words ever spoken between the two of you. Sunghoon thrusts in you kept repeating in the same pace and you were softly whining against his lips.
“You’re absolutely perfect” He pulled away from you place his head against the crook of your neck, his pace slowly picking up but he made sure to hit your cervix every time
“H-Ho-Hoon” You let out a broken breath but Sunghoon whispered your ear that caused your heart to quicken in its beats
“Say my name. My actual name”
“Sunghoon”
The way you breathlessly called out his name, set fireworks off in his heart. The two of you knew this simple interaction was far too intimate for just professor and student who go on dates, kiss each other senseless, lay in each others arms talking about nonsense until late in the night, and simply two people who will always get lost in each other.
“I love you” From your hazy daze, you felt a bucket of cold water splash over you as your eyes popped open hearing Sunghoon’s confession, it was the three words neither of you dared to say but seemed to mutually share
Sunghoon’s thrust continued and the twitch inside of you made your clam down on him. “Come with me baby” His words were all you both needed as you both came together
His cum shooting deep inside you, as you coated his cock with your release. Your pleasures mixing together as it forced a white ring at the base of his cock. You whimpered as his slow thrust came to a stop as he stayed inside of you.
Both you and Sunghoon coming down from your high together as your sweat covered foreheads rested against each other as the two of you panted heavily before looking into each other’s eyes.
“My beautiful girl” The pure endearment of his words filled your already swollen heart
Sunghoon noticed even though it was faint, the moment of unease in your ease caused him to look at you with confusion. Your gaze avoided his as your mind filled with only one thought. What was now going to happen between you and him now that summer break was starting.
Will you continue to see each other after the moment shared or will the two of your take your words for granted and lose each other in the process?
“What are you thinking about baby?” He softly asked as you pulled away from your forehand to look at you as you still refused to look at him
“Look at me” He softly turned your head to face him properly as he noticed your glassy eyes, he felt his heart shatter at the scene before brining your body close to him.
He carefully creased his hand over your aching body as he remained still inside you and you shivered feeling the slightest movements inside of you. The two of you stayed in silence as he silently comforted you.
“Let’s get you cleaned up” He softly murmured as he could feel your mixed released trialing down your thigh that laid with his, you only nodded your head not trusting your voice to not break if you spoke
Sunghoon smiled daringly before carefully easing himself out of you and right when he did, more of the released gushed out of you. He chuckled at the scene before rubbing your thigh. “We made a mess” He joked causing you to finally let out a soft chuckle
As he grabbed tissues, he began to guide them over to clean you up, making sure to not miss a spot. And when his fingers rubbed over your sensitive self, you shivered as he whispered soft apologies placing butterfly kisses on it to help ease the overstimulation.
When you were all cleaned up, he grabbed your discarded panties and pants and your body too far sore and exhausted caused him to carefully guide them back onto you.
He quickly placed himself back in his pants and buckled his belt, allowing you to fully catch your breath without him crowding you.
When he noticed the daze look finally fading from your eyes, he carefully sat you upright before going to sit on his side of the desk. You turned your head confused to him but you let out a yelp when he brought you off his desk onto his lap.
He looked to you on his lap, creasing your face with such delicacy.
He pulled away to rummage through the first drawer of his desk until he finally found what he looking for. You could see the slight hesitate as his hands remained in his drawer, his eyes focused on the ticking clock in his office before finally pulling out an envelope.
You looked at him confused as he handed the envelope to you, ushering for you to open it. When you carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the paper in it, your hand almost dropped it in pure shock.
You read over the paper nonstop as you couldn’t believe what you were reading.
“Come to Italy with me” Your gaze moved from the bought plane tickets to Sunghoon who only stared at you with hopeful eyes
“I’m no longer your professor” Sunghoon motioned to the clock he was staring at before giving you the envelope that showed the time, 5pm, the university was officially closed for summer break.
“I meant it when I said I love you”
“And I finally want to properly be yours and make you mine” Sunghoon confessed the weight that laid on his heart as it finally lifted, he knew his feelings were risky, he was still a professor and you were still a student at the university just no longer each other’s as summer break started
Sunghoon knew he could likely get fired for this but if he had to choose between his job or you.
He would always choose you in a heartbeat. “Let’s spend our summer vacation in Italy together baby” You chuckled out a bright smile before hastily wrapping your arms around him nodding your head eagerly
“Yes, of course!” You agreed to his planned trip and Sunghoon held you tightly in return, pleased to know that he can finally properly make you his without a single worry
“Sunghoon” He hummed when he heard you faintly called out his name, “I love you too”
✎ᝰ。
: I actually can’t believe you’re in Italy right now when you told me, your friend btw in case you forgot, that we were going to spend summer break rotting away together
: But instead, you’re soft launching your boyfriend that I didn’t even know existed until now, with his arm all wrapped around you as you show off the new tiffany & co. bracelet he got you
: I hope you know I am not forgiving you until you tell me who your mystery boyfriend is so you better fess up soon
You: :)
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ayyy-pee · 3 months
Text
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ℍ𝕚𝕕𝕕𝕖𝕟 𝔸𝕗𝕗𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕤
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Discord 18+ - Twitter
Pairing: Sanemi Shinazugawa x Female Reader
Summary: But you can see - in those deep violet eyes of his - three little words swimming behind them that he's been itching to say to you for quite some time now. You want to say them too, have for as long as you can remember. 
But you're both Hashira. It's already enough that you both keep towing this dangerous line, finding yourselves in this exact predicament more often than not.
or
Sanemi is just so down bad for reader.
Story Warning: Smut, Alley Sex, P in V sex, Profanity bc c'mon...it's me, Vaginal Sex, Jealousy, Jealous Behavior, Fingering, Unprotected Sex, Creampie, Sanemi being bad at feelings, Secret Flings, Secretly in Love, Sneaking Around, Some canon Giyuu hate from Sanemi, Reader is a Hashira too!
Art by: krit961 (Twitter)
A/N: This is my first time writing for this fandom ever, but the Sanemi brainrot has been so INSANELY strong I just had to write SOMETHING up. It's nothing crazy and I'm rusty because it's been awhile for me but ugh. THIS ONE IS FOR YOU SANEMI!!!! Also shoutout to @lemonlover1110 for helping me with the title!
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“We should head back…” You sigh, breaths coming rapidly. “Before…” A quiet gasp interrupts your words when you feel the sting of teeth sinking into your neck. “Before the others notice…”
”Fuck the others,” a gravelly voice growls into the juncture of your neck. Large hands grasp your thighs hard, holding them wide open as a hard form sits between them. “Don’t give a fuck if they notice, either. Maybe Tomioka will stop staring like a lovesick puppy if he figures it out.”
He buries his face further into your neck, grumbling against your skin. Something along the lines of “I hate that guy” and “I should gouge his eyes out”.
Your fingers slip into the snowy white tresses at the nape of his neck, gripping hard and pulling so that you can see his face. Pretty, long lashes cover hooded purple eyes that soften the moment they catch sight of you. The softness is such a contrast to the deep, pitted scars scattered along his face. But he’s beautiful all the same.
“Sanemi…”
At the sound of his name on your lips, he rolls his eyes. “If you’re gonna defend him–”
“Sanemi –”
“I don’t wanna hear it.” 
Your lips set into a deep frown, and Sanemi matches your expression, stubborn as ever. “What is your issue with Giyuu anyway?”
Sanemi scoffs, “Giyuuuuuu,” he mocks with a nasally tone. “Stop talking about him.”
“You brought him up!”
His mouth finds yours, rough and hungry, all consuming. It’s all teeth and tongue, nipping at your lips because he knows they’ll still be just swollen enough by the time you both get back. He’s marking his territory in his own way, as much as he can. Possessive and jealous, even when he knows he has no reason to be, no right to be. But he can’t help it.
You don’t belong to him, you don’t belong to anyone. Because you know it wouldn’t be smart to commit to any one person. Not in this line of work.
Sanemi has you pressed against the bamboo fencing in the darkest part of an alleyway, just outside of the Ubuyashiki Mansion with your legs wrapped tightly around his waist. It’s your usual meeting spot when you’ve been separated for some time, both of you too impatient to wait until the early morning hours when the Hashira meeting has finally ended to see each other.
“Fuck me,” Sanemi groans against your lips. He places an arm beneath your ass, holding you up as his other hand hikes your uniform skirt up to your waist. “Swear this gets shorter every time I see you.”
A giggle slips past your lips, because it absolutely gets shorter every time he sees you. You do it on purpose because you know it drives Sanemi up the wall to see little peeks of your ass and not be able to do anything about it. Makes him even crazier that he knows others can see it, too, and he can’t do anything but shoot death glares at anyone who dares to let their gazes roam. 
But you can’t let Sanemi know that. So you pout, laying your palms against his exposed chest and tracing his scars with your fingertips. You watch as his eyes flutter, sensitive to the touch. “You don’t like it? I can always request a change in uniform…”
Sanemi groans, leaning forward and kissing you hard. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare.” He presses his groin into your, evidence of his arousal against your soaking core. “You look so good in it.” His hand slinks between your bodies, thumb going straight to your clit, where he presses down, a shit eating grin spreading across his face when your back arches off the wall and you moan. “Look even better in it when you’re making that face.”
Your nails dig into his scars and Sanemi’s reaction is automatic, hips rocking forward roughly and now you’re both whining into each other’s mouths. You’re sure if anyone came across the two of you, you’d appear as this horny couple who couldn’t bother to wait until they got home to dry hump each other. And outside of the couple part, they’d be correct. Sanemi ruts against you, his erection running deliciously along your clothed cunt. Your lips slot together, tongues deep in each other’s mouths as Sanemi grunts into yours, and you keen into his.
There’s not much time to waste, you’re meant to be at the mansion soon. It would be suspicious if one Hashira, let alone two were missing when the Master arrived and if asked, the crows would spill your secrets in a heartbeat. You need to hurry. And Sanemi feels the pressure too. Even though he loves to annoy you pretending he doesn’t care about being late or cluing in the others on what’s going on, he would never disrespect the Master. 
Pausing his movements and leaning back to peer down at you, Sanemi sighs. He’s so painfully hard, his length throbbing within the confines of his uniform as he drinks in the sight of your kiss swollen lips, just the way he wanted them. And your face flushed, pupils blown wide as all hell with arousal. He’s sure he looks much the same, knowing you’re just as possessive as he is, though you hardly show it. It’s simply easier to hide your little territorial marks, the scratches you leave on him when they blend in so well among the rest of his scars.
Your fingers ghost along his chest, finding his nipples and you pinch the hardening buds, smirking when you see the way Sanemi’s eyes almost roll back. He can’t take another fucking second of this teasing. Not after he hasn’t seen you in who knows how long. He wants you badly that even your voice is enough to make him ruin his pants right now. It’s the semi-annual Hashira meeting tonight and he’s not willing to wait until Himejima is done yapping to have you.
Sanemi tugs at his uniform, getting his pants down just barely enough to pull his cock out. The tip is angry, red, just as desperate to be inside you as Sanemi. It glistens with his desire for you and you only.
“Gonna fuck you now, okay?” He tells you, hooking a finger into your undergarments and pulling them to the side. He runs his digits through your folds, hissing when he feels how drenched you are. It helps when he slips two fingers into you, mouth falling open when you throw your head back with a cry, your walls clamping around him. This Sanemi’s favorite part. Watching the way your brows knit together, how your pretty teeth dig into your plush bottom lip to bite back your moans, how your pussy makes the most lewd noises as he pumps his fingers into you.
You are glorious.
Always have been. It’s why he can never get enough of you. You’re insanely strong, clearly. You’re a Hashira, standing alongside him and some of the strongest in the corps. But you’re also blessed with a beauty that rivals every woman Sanemi has ever laid eyes on. He’s drawn to you in ways he cannot explain, ways he doesn’t need an explanation for. It’s why he hates catching the little glances from a certain other Hashira. Not that anyone knows what you two have going on, but all Sanemi knows is that he –
“Sanemi…” you whimper, eyes gazing softly at him. “Please. I need you.”
And he doesn’t need to hear more. His lips crash against yours as he swiftly pulls his fingers from you, gripping his length tightly and pumping himself. “How bad do you need me?” He asks. Because he needs you so fucking bad right now he can’t think straight. His mind is foggy, his body burns with his lust for you. 
“So, so bad, Sanemi,” you loop your arms around his neck, kissing him just as eagerly as he kisses you. “I need you more than anything.”
Sanemi groans, pressing the tip of his cock to your entrance. But his eyes never leave your face, even as the tip breaches your walls and makes him want to shut his eyes and focus on not cumming embarrassingly fast. He wants to see you, watch the way you lose yourself when he splits you open. The thought of it has him pulsing painfully in his hand. He rolls his hips forward, slowly, gritting his teeth when your wet warmth envelops him. “Still so goddamn tight for me,” he grunts. “Your greedy cunt is sucking me right in, fuck.”
Your nails dig into the fabric of Sanemi’s shirt, hanging on for dear life as Sanemi pushes deeper and deeper into you. As many times as you’ve been in this position with Sanemi, it always feels like the first time. He’s so long and thick, you have to adjust every time he slips into you.
“Oh my god,” you whine, and Sanemi pauses.
“You okay?”
“Yes…just…fuck me, please, Sanemi…”
He grips your thighs, pushing you back against the bamboo fencing to hold you in place. And then he thrusts forward, bottoming out in one swift motion and you both cry out in unison, the overwhelming pleasure making you both shudder.
“Fucking hell,” Sanemi sighs. He places his hands beneath your ass, keeping you still while he rears his hips back, only to slam back into you over and over. He pounds into your pussy at a relentless pace. Half because you’re on one hell of a time crunch, and half because he can’t help it. He feels animalistic when it comes to you, fucking into you mindlessly because it just feels so goddamn incredible. Every thrust feels better than the last, your warm walls clenching around him with each snap of his hips.
“I can’t go that long without you again…” Sanemi croaks, catching himself because he feels he’s getting too sentimental. “...without your pretty little pussy.”
“God, just say you missed me, you asshole.” You tell him, moving your own hips to meet his strokes. Though your words come out as more of this pathetic whimper than an actual demand and it makes Sanemi’s hips stutter. Just briefly. His hands on your ass lift you up before pulling you to sink back down on him.
Sanemi chuckles, leaning back just enough so that he can look between your bodies, watch the sticky strings of your slick connecting you, watch how his dick disappears. “Did you miss me?”
“Yes!” You cry when Sanemi hits a particularly tender spot. “Shit, I missed you so much, Sanemi.”
His brows rise, a little surprised by the confession, and a loud one at that. “Oh?” He kisses you hard, keeping his pace. Your confession turns him on more than he’s willing to admit. He missed you, too, though it’s harder for him to say so. Instead he fucks all of his feelings into you. 
How he misses you when you’re apart, because his thoughts are dangerously distracted wondering what you’re doing, who you’re with, if you’re alive.
How he wishes you’d be assigned missions together, so he could watch you tear a demon's head straight from their shoulders. Then find somewhere to stay the night so he can fuck you on every surface possible (He’s done this with you before. He wants to do it with you again).
How he wishes he could open his mouth and tell you how he truly feels.
But those feelings have always been foreign to him. Sanemi is lucky you understand his silence, that you accept his actions for what they are and let them speak for him. You accept everything he gives you happily. And as you tighten your legs around his waist, as you quietly let your pleasure be heard by him and him alone, as your walls clamp down around him with your release, convulsing and pulling him into you, Sanemi can only thank the Gods for every shitty circumstance that led him to you.
Does he deserve you? Probably not. Does he care? Absolutely not.
Because you chose him. This secret…whatever this is. Out of anyone in this world, you chose Sanemi.
And it’s enough to send him over the edge with you, gasping desperately for air as he tries to find your lips again. He closes his eyes, pushing himself as deep as he can as his release floods your walls. It’s so much, a build up over time and he knows his seed will be dripping out of your core before he’s even had a chance to pull out. It’s always this way. Because Sanemi doesn’t bother entertaining other women when he’s away. He only wants you. So the second he’s within the same vicinity as you, he has literally so much to give.
You never seem to mind.
Sanemi breaks the messy kiss, placing gentle, sweet pecks to your cheek before he leans back to stare down at you. That fucked out look on your face almost has him getting hard again. But you don’t have time for that, so he just watches you and you watch him. And he’s glad for the fact that you can’t see the way his mind is racing with only thoughts of you, thoughts of this feeling he’s buried so deep trying to claw its way up Sanemi’s throat.
But you can see - in those deep violet eyes of his - three little words swimming behind them that he's been itching to say to you for quite some time now. You want to say them too, have for as long as you can remember. 
But you're both Hashira. It's already enough that you both keep towing this dangerous line, finding yourselves in this exact predicament more often than not.
It's a little more than ridiculous actually, the way neither of you can resist sneaking glances, hiding touches, making excuses to leave on missions together. You and Sanemi…you're drawn to each other, your strings of fate knotted tightly together. It’s become impossible to leave each other alone. You don't think you'd be able to resist what you're doing even if you met as two civilians on the street. Hell, you couldn't resist each other all those years ago when you were low ranked corps members. 
Training was a confusing hell back then, every session filled to the brim with fury and a strange and thick tension neither of you could put your finger on until way down the line. It wasn't until one particular training session when Sanemi had you pinned to the ground, his strong hips pressing into yours, that you then understood what that tension was. The evidence was apparent in the way Sanemi's hard stare bore into yours, how the heat between your legs began to ignite when you felt Sanemi’s thick length pulse against you, how something akin to a whimper fell from his lips when his gaze snapped down quickly just in time to watch the hem of your uniform skirt slip further, enough for him to see the way your bodies seemed to just…fit.
Then his eyes were back on your face, your lips, now parted as harsh breaths escaped you. Your eyes, wide and wanting, peered up at him from beneath your lashes and Sanemi remembers this being the very moment he stopped denying what he had always known. You are breathtakingly beautiful. He also recalls this being the moment he knew he was done for. 
So when your hands found themselves placed against his not yet scarred chest, balling the sweaty fabric of his shirt in your fists…when he leaned closer and curiously rolled his hips against your clothed core and heard you let out the most captivating sound he'd ever heard, a sound he's been obsessed with since he's heard it…when he pressed his lips lightly to yours and you whispered into his mouth “I've never done this before”.
Yeah, Sanemi knew then that he was fucked. 
And though that night was not the night you'd given your virginity to Sanemi - that would happen years later - it was the night Sanemi tasted you for the first time. And he devoured you time and time again like a man starved. He would have you any way and any time that he could, if you allowed him. 
That was only the beginning.
Not much has changed in the years that you have been keeping up this arrangement with Sanemi. It's the only thing that you both keep coming back to, the only thing that feels solid. Though you both know it's stupid to feel as if anything in this line of work is not at risk. 
Every night that you lie awake, together or not, is a reminder. Every semi-annual meeting with the Hashira, mentally taking a headcount of everyone is a reminder. Every Hashira meeting without Rengoku, without Tengen is a reminder. 
Death is always standing just outside your door.
You can't afford to delude yourselves into thinking you can freely love and care for each other. Not until this thousand year war is over. Not until you are free to roam beneath the stars together without the scent of blood, the cries of pain and loss tainting the night. 
So, as you and Sanemi slip into the gates of the Ubuyashiki Mansion, your fingers brush together just briefly - a silent display of those words you dare not mutter aloud. You make your way to your respective places amongst the strongest of the Demon Slayer corps; you, next to Tomioka and Sanemi beside the Serpent Hashira. And while you quietly mingle with those around you before the Master appears, you miss the hushed conversation further down the line. 
“You reek of her,” Obanai remarks. Resting around his shoulders, his snake whips his tongue out at Sanemi in almost an agreement. 
“Shut up.”
“You're more tense than normal. Did you finally confess? Did she reject your advances?”
“I said shut up,” Sanemi growls. The chatter of everyone is already grinding on his nerves and your voice is not helping. He wants to look at you. See what - or who - has you giggling and speaking so sweetly that it's making him sick. It shouldn't matter. You can talk to whoever you want.
‘Except Tomioka,’ Sanemi thinks. But it's only because he's so clearly in love with you! He can't understand how you don't see it.
“Looks like Tomioka is making his move,” Obanai notes quietly, like he read Sanemi’s mind.
Sanemi can hear the teasing tone in his voice. The asshole is really getting a kick out of this. Even still, it's enough to have Sanemi’s gaze snapping over to you just in time to see Tomioka and you smiling sweetly at each other, nodding and whispering amongst yourselves. 
It shouldn't make Sanemi as upset as it does, just seeing you enjoy yourself with him, seeing him enjoy himself with you. Your smiles, your laughs, your kindness. It should only be for Sanemi. But you're a kind person…too kind. So kind you'd allow a monster like himself to fall in love with you.
Tomioka is much kinder, more understanding, better for you than Sanemi could ever be. 
And so, seeing you and him bond…Well, it fills Sanemi with a rage so hot he finds himself standing, eyes locked on the back of your head. You must feel it, his gaze beating down on you like rays of heat from the sun itself, because you fall silent and your head snaps around. Your eyes find Sanemi's immediately, gaze wide and questioning. 
Tomioka looks confused as well. ‘Good,’ Sanemi thinks. He can't wait to see the look on the Water Hashira's face when Sanemi does what he's been wanting to, but admittedly too scared to do for so long – claim you as his in front of everyone.
He lets the fumes of his anger fuel him, gritting his teeth so hard his jaw hurts. And then he's opening his mouth to speak, tongue on the roof of his mouth as all other chatter dies and the eyes of the other Hashira land on him. 
“I lo-”
“The Master has arrived!” Twin voices call in unison. 
And it's like muscle memory for every single Hashira, falling in line on one knee with their heads bowed as the Master approaches. His arrival extinguishes the fire that burned hazardously within Sanemi just seconds before, soothes the scorching left behind. His head is clear now, the reminder of why you both choose to keep your meetings between just you two evident.
You have a job to do. Defeating this evil comes before all things, even you. Though with the way Sanemi almost blew the lid off of your secret, he's not sure how much longer can go on without openly being with you. 
But it sparks something within him - a new fire. One that burns solely for one purpose. 
To defeat Kibutsuji Muzan…so that he can finally, and fully have you. 
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