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#boy howdy I want this to go well
awesomepaste · 7 months
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I have a final round interview tomorrow morning, for a position I never thought I’d do. I actually really want this job. Please send me good luck and good vibes. 🤞😭🥺
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thebirdandhersong · 2 years
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holding on real tight to "if you don't want me / then you're not the one" this week ladies
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leatherbookmark · 1 year
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actually i have discovered the only true and correct reading of md/zs: wgxn are the true Evil Men of mdzs. just look at how they’re dealing with lxc post-guanyin
#'how' = not at all.#it's almost unbelievable how little wwx cares about lxc now that the whole case is over#it's just a fun puzzle for him to solve which isn't necessarily a criticism of him as a character because boy howdy do i Know that he's not#some kinda bleeding heart. but he just... basically explains everything at the end like a triumphant detective in a classic mystery novel#and you have lxc. having JUST found out that jgy was Obviously provoked into violence and that the only reason he went to the temple#instead of making a beeline to the nearest port was to pick up his mother's remains. he's heartbroken and confused#and even the narration is almost cruel in its 'well if jgy's best friend doesn't know then how could the others know?' and then wwx goes#'welp! gotta call people and take care of this coffin mess i think!'#AND THEN wgxn just casually decide not to reveal the VITAL (for lxc) information about jgy to him. because it would make him look#sympathetic. just tell him if he asks lz! i'm soooo tired of this bullshit u_u#what is he supposed to ask about you soggy banana. 'hey didi is there something you didn't tell me about jgy?' like this? like this?#bastards BASTARDS i say. and then they go on to fuck in the bushes without hearing the boring and annoying gossip from the jianghu!#brother? ah forget him. wwx's butt won't fuck itself we've got a busy day ahead#hashtag wgxn hateposting i do what i want it's my blog#like. i understand Dignity and stuff and lwj probably couldn't and wasn't even the type to hug his brother in public and go 'there there'#but he doesn't. he doesn't do a thing. at all#the only thing he says to lxc is 'jgy's killing intent.' that's it. at least in cql he leads him out of the temple and#physically supports him. here? nothing. lxc is repeatedly described as 'not realizing what had happened' 'lost in thought' 'startled'#and even 'in normal circumstances zewu-jun would have immediately understood it'. he is Mentally Unwell. but that's his problem because#he liked the guy we decided was a villain. 😬#shut up shrimp#(i know the bushes of love didn't happen /immediately/ post-guanyin (imagine that though.) but they're fucking haunting me)
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mxnordberg · 1 year
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Still working on this monstrosity
[Image ID: a close cropped photo of the back of an embroidery hoop. Several messy and overlapping threads cover a portion of the fabric, and you can see the backside of cross-stitched work filling out the half formed edge of an image of one man standing over another.]
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oniongarlic · 2 years
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Hopefully i will be able to get thru that painting relatively quickly, im trying to get going on a much larger picture soon so like. Just gotta build that fucking table so to speak.
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eyrie: I’m gonna rip your throat out w my teeth funny man
zenos: bet
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dredshirtroberts · 12 days
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i'm remembering why i don't stay on dating apps for long and why i have a hard time making connections with folks in general. if i have to teach one more fucking person about polite conversation with people you do not know yet, i swear to GOD.
#hhhhh i hate making generalizations but it does tend to be the cis men who don't know how talking to people like people goes#if you ask to see someone's art and they deign to share it with you don't immediately offer concrit unless it's specifically asked for?#like yes i'm concerned Iconic Character might not be recognizable despite my use of references for once#but i did not actually ask for your help on this because i don't know what your credentials are#and you barely recognized it as it is which is telling me you might not be the biggest fan of Iconic Character as you might think!#Fuck youuuuuuuuuu#i said yes to the offer because if they are reasonable changes i haven't already considered Part Of The Art i might consider them to improv#because i'm already going to be working on it again today so it's not really going to add any more to my plate than i might already have#but i don't even remember how many similar instances of fucking BONKERS things to say to a stranger i've been like#hey you know people don't talk to each other like this right? you know that's not how conversation is right?#please for the love of god tell me you don't talk to people IRL like this#cause i might start forming ideas about why tf you're on this app in the first place#like i know neurodivergence can be a hurdle and everyone's a little poorly socialized since lockdowns started in 2020#but... i KNOW these guys are not talking to their buddies like this#they think they can get away with it because i look like a woman#and if i gotta be the person who corrects them i will but boy howdy nothing gives me the ick faster than having to tell you that people#do not talk to other people like the way you're talking to me right now we do not know each other#do not presume you can just say Whatever at me and think i'm still gonna wanna try and get to know you to sleep with you like wtf#hhhh sorry. i'm like. probably not going to continue talking to this one but i did give him the opening to respond so i'll see what he has#to say and then move on with my life#it wouldn't probably be such a big deal if the vast majority of people i've attempted to talk to actually#yknow... talked to me.#but like it's fine. i'm fine. it's fine#like yes i would love to have someone i'm able to have sex with as well as friendship and general intimacy#i don't want to teach someone else how to be a person i barely understand it myself
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angelfic · 11 months
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Howdy! Could I request a Theodore Nott, secret relationship, “don’t leave me… please”. ❤️
here u go!! i actually really like this idea and kind of wanna recycle it for a longer fic maybe.. 🤔 thank u for the request! 💌
theodore nott x reader + secret relationship + “don’t leave me… please”
➺ part of my 2k milestone writing game
You’re stressfully stirring sugar into your tea in the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place when Mattheo and Theodore turn up, bruised and bloody in the hands of Alastor Moody.
The Auror had sent a message in advance through his Patronus, alerting members of the Order that he was heading to headquarters with two death eater defectors. An hour of hoping it’s who you think, and three cups of tea later, you breathe a sigh of relief when you realise Mattheo and Theo are alive.
The way Theo is leaning his weight on Mattheo doesn’t slip past you, and as soon as he finds you among the others, you rush forward.
“Hi,” Theo whispers, the greeting reserved only for you despite the numerous others in the dining room. His eyes are drooping slightly as he sways on his feet. Nonetheless, he gives you a weak smile. “I’m okay. I promise.”
You nod slowly, brows furrowed in concern despite his reassurance. Ignoring Moody’s confused stares, along with the whispering happening behind you, you do a quick scan of Mattheo and find that he’s definitely had worse injuries from spontaneous fist fights during your years at Hogwarts.
“Are you okay?” you mouth at him, just in case. He winks at you in answer.
Moody, seemingly snapping out of his confusion, turns to you and raises a brow. “You know these two, then?” he asks gruffly, a hint of suspicion creeping into his voice.
“We all went to school together,” Dean Thomas pipes up, saving you from having to stumble over your words in an attempt to explain your relationship with Theo.
There’s no doubt in your mind that everyone in the room suspects you and Theo are more than just schoolmates, but you don’t move to address anything. The implications of you being in love with an ex-death eater aside, it’s none of their business. Moody doesn’t quite seem to accept this immediately.
”School,” he mutters, nodding begrudgingly. “And how well do you-”
“Alastor,” McGonagall cuts him off sharply. Peering at him over her spectacles, she purses her lips. “You can get to interrogating them about being Transfiguration partners after they’ve recovered. These boys need a healer. Now.”
“Yes, yes,” Moody replies grumpily, reluctantly letting them go to open the door to the hall. “We’ve got Poppy in the living room. She’ll fix them up, nice and quick.”
You step back to give the two boys space to make their way to the Healer, but Theo catches your hand and grips it tightly. “No. No, Y/N can do it. Just give her some of the medicine, I’m not seeing anyone else.”
You open your mouth to object, wanting Madame Pomfrey to assess him properly, but the pleading in his eyes has you hesitating.
“Don’t leave me…” Theo’s voice becomes lower, quieter and earnest. “Please.”
“Okay,” you exhale, cupping his face with your hand and stroking your thumb over his cheekbone. You look over at Professor McGonagall for confirmation and when she sighs and nods, you respond with a grateful smile before turning back to Theo. “I won’t leave you.”
Mattheo clears his throat, popping the little bubble you and Theo have found yourself in and making you look away, cheeks warm. Walking over to where Moody holds the door open, Mattheo gives you both a knowing look before speaking to the rest of the room. “I guess I‘ll be seeing dear, old Poppy alone then. Nothing she hasn’t fixed before.”
Taking this as your cue to leave, you wrap an arm around Theo’s waist to support him as you make your way out of the room and up the stairs to an empty room. You help him to sit on the bed and disentangle your hand from his, dropping a kiss to the inside of his palm. “I need to go get the stuff from Madame Promfrey, I won’t be a minute-”
“Not yet,” Theo pleads, hooking pinky finger around your own and tugging lightly. “I’m not that injured, just… come here for a second.”
Your resolve crumbles immediately due to not having seen Theo since school ended a month ago, during which he was trying to leave the other side of the war without getting himself killed. You sit next to him on the bed, but he immediately reaches over to manoeuvre you by the waist until your legs are wrapped around him in a straddling position. Theo presses a soft kiss to your lips and the pure love radiating from him makes your heart jump to your throat. When he pulls away, he looks more relaxed and content than he has in months.
“Hi,” he says, a gentle smile playing about his lips while he fingers the hem of your shirt where it sits at your back. Tingles run down your spine where his cold fingers brush against your skin and you end up leaning into his chest even more, causing his smile to deepen. “I missed you, darling.”
“What, Crabbe and Goyle weren’t good company?” you tease, tilting your head. Theo scoffs in disgust, lightly tugging on a lock of your hair and looking at you expectantly. “I missed you too, Theo. So, so much. I’m glad you got out.”
“Me too,” he sighs, dropping his head to rest on your shoulder. You both stay in silence for a few minutes and you bask in the warmth of Theo’s breaths fanning over your collarbone. He nestles his face into your neck and seems perfectly happy just to stay there when he speaks. “It was torture staying away, you know. I’m never leaving your side again.”
You run your fingers through Theo’s hair, lightly scratching at his scalp and biting back a smile when he lets out a sound halfway between a sigh and a groan. “You being glued to me is probably going to make it clear that we’re more than ex-Transfiguration partners, by the way.”
“I bet you anything they all already know,” Theo murmurs distractedly. You frown and sit up straighter to look at him, raising a curious brow in questioning. He looks at you like it’s obvious. “Mattheo is downstairs, unsupervised. If he hasn’t told everyone by now…”
You shake your head, shifting to move off Theo’s lap. A pout forms on his lips, but he reluctantly lets you stand. “I better go do some damage control while I go get the stuff from Pomfrey. Merlin knows what embarrassing things Mattheo is telling them right now.”
“I can think of a few things,” Theo says, his innocent voice contrasting with the devious smirk on his face. “Like the time we were in the Astronomy Tower and you were too loud, so-”
“Right, okay!” you interrupt loudly, screwing your eyes shut in embarrassment as you try your best not to relive that particular memory. Taking a deep breath and ignoring the way Theo is cracking up, you smile sweetly at him. “You haven’t had any injuries to the head, have you?”
“No, love,” he replies, grinning. “Why?”
You grab a pillow and swing it into Theo’s face, knocking him backwards on the bed. Crossing your arms in satisfaction, you falter when he stays laying down and moans in pain.
“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” you rush out, panicked as you move the pillow out of the way to climb onto the bed and hover over him. Theo cracks his eyes open slightly, his face scrunched up in discomfort and your stomach drops. “Theo, where does it hurt?”
“Here, come closer,” Theo winces, gesturing you forward, closer and closer and you furrow your brows in confusion. When you’re close enough, he snakes his hand around to the nape of your neck and pulls you into a deep kiss, burying his fingers in your hair. You don’t bother admonishing him, your head getting dizzy from the feel of his lips moving against your own. You only pull away when you hear sudden laughter coming from downstairs. Theo doesn’t look ashamed in the slightest when you do. “All better.”
“Not yet, you’re not,” you say, rolling your eyes and sitting up again. You make sure you put all of your weight on the mattress to do so, just in case you actually do end up hurting him. “I’m actually going downstairs now, okay? The idea of Mattheo talking to McGonagall is driving me crazier by the minute.”
“Come back quickly?” he asks lightly, but there’s a hint of pleading in the way his hand circles your wrist. You give him a reassuring smile and another quick peck on the lips.
“Always.”
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colleendoran · 5 months
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Great Big Good Omens Graphic Novel Update
AKA A Visit From Bildad the Shuhite.
The past year or so has been one long visit from this guy, whereupon he smiteth my goats and burneth my crops, woe unto the woeful cartoonist.
Gaze upon the horror of Bildad the Shuhite.
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You kind of have to be a Good Omens fan to get this joke, but trust me, it's hilarious.
Anyway, as a long time Good Omens novel fan, you may imagine how thrilled I was to get picked to adapt the graphic novel.
 Go me!  
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This is quite a task, I have to say, especially since I was originally going to just draw (and color) it, but I ended up writing the adaptation as well. Tricky to fit a 400 page novel into a 160-ish page graphic novel, especially when so much of the humor is dependent on the language, and not necessarily on the visuals.
Not complainin', just sayin'.
Anyway, I started out the gate like a herd of turtles, because  right away I got COVID which knocked me on my butt. 
And COVID brain fog? That's a thing. I already struggle with brain fog due to autoimmune disease, and COVID made it worse.
Not complainin' just sayin'.
This set a few of the assignments on my plate back, which pushed starting Good Omens back. 
But hey, big fat lead time! No worries!
Then my computer crawled toward the grave.
My trusty MAC Pro Tower was nearly 15 years old when its sturdy heart ground to a near-halt with daily crashes. I finally got around to doing some diagnostics; some of its little brain actions were at 5% functionality. I had no reliable backups.
There are so many issues with getting a new computer when you haven't had a new computer or peripherals in nearly fifteen years and all of your software, including your Photoshop program is fifteen years old.
At the time, I was still on rural internet...which means dial-up speed.
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Whatever you have for internet in the city, roll that clock back to about 2001.
That's what I had. I not only had to replace almost all of my hardware but I had to load and update all programs at dial-up speed.
Welcome to my gigabyte hell.
The entire process of replacing the equipment and programs took weeks and then I had to relearn all the software.
All of this was super expensive in terms of money and time cost.
But I was not daunted! Nosirree!
I still had a huge lead time! I can do anything! I have an iron will!
And boy, howdy, I was going to need it.
At about the same time, a big fatcat quadrillionaire client who had hired me years ago to develop a big, major transmedia project for which I was paid almost entirely in stock, went bankrupt leaving everyone holding the bag, and taking a huge chunk of my future retirement fund with it.
I wrote a very snarky almost hilarious Patreon post about it, but am not entirely in a position to speak freely because I don't want to get sued. Even though I had to go to court over it, (and I had to do that over Zoom at dial-up speed,) I'm pretty sure I'll never get anything out of this drama, and neither will anyone else involved, except millionaire dude and his buddies who all walked away with huge multi-million dollar bonuses weeks before they declared bankruptcy, all the while claiming they would not declare bankruptcy.
Even the accountant got $250,000 a month to shut down the business, while creators got nothing.
That in itself was enough drama for the year, but we were only at February by that point, and with all those months left, 2023 had a lot more to throw at me.
Fresh from my return from my Society of Illustrators show, and a lovely time at MOCCA, it was time to face practical medical issues, health updates, screening, and the like. I did my adult duty and then went back to work hoping for no news, but still had a weird feeling there would be news.
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I know everyone says that, but I mean it. I had a bad feeling.
Then there was news.
I was called back for tests and more tests. This took weeks. The ubiquitous biopsy looked, even to me staring at the screen in real time, like bad news. 
It also hurt like a mofo after the anesthesia wore off. I wasn't expecting that.
Then I got the official bad news.
Cancer which runs in my family finally got me. Frankly, I was surprised I didn't get it sooner.
Stage 0, and treatment would likely be fast and complication-free. Face the peril, get it over with, and get back to work. 
I requested surgery months in the future so I could finish Good Omens first, but my doc convinced me the risk of waiting was too great. Get it done now.
"You're really healthy," my doc said. Despite an auto-immune issue which plagues me, I am way healthier than the average schmoe of late middle age. She informed me I would not even need any chemo or radiation if I took care of this now.
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So I canceled my appearance at San Diego Comic Con. I did not inform the Good Omens team of my issues right away, thinking this would not interfere with my work schedule, but I did contact my agent to inform her of the issue. I also contacted a lawyer to rewrite my will and make sure the team had access to my digital files in case there were complications.
Then I got back to work, and hoped for the best.
Eff this guy.
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Before I could even plant my carcass on the surgery table, I got a massive case of ocular shingles.
I didn't even know there was such a thing. 
There I was, minding my own business. I go to bed one night with a scratchy eye, and by 4 PM the next day, I was in the emergency room being told if I didn't get immediate specialist treatment, I was in big trouble.
I got transferred to another hospital and got all the scary details, with the extra horrid news that I could not possibly have cancer surgery until I was free of shingles, and if I did not follow a rather brutal treatment procedure - which meant super-painful  eye drops every half hour, twenty-four hours a day and daily hospital treatment - I could lose the eye entirely, or be blinded, or best case scenario, get permanent eye damage.
What was even funnier (yeah, hilarity) is the drops are so toxic if you don't use the medication just right, you can go blind anyway.
Hi Ho.
Ulcer is on the right. That big green blob.
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I had just finished telling my cancer surgeon I did not even really care about getting cancer, was happy it was just stage zero, had no issues with scarring, wanted no reconstruction, all I cared about was my work. 
Just cut it out and get me back to work.
And now I wondered if I was going to lose my ability to work anyway.
Shingles often accompanies cancer because of the stress on the immune system, and yeah, it's not pretty. This is me looking like all heck after I started to get better.
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The first couple of weeks were pretty demoralizing as I expected a straight trajectory to wellness. But it was up and down all the way. 
Some days I could not see out of either eye at all. The swelling was so bad that I had to reach around to my good eye to prop the lid open. Light sensitivity made seeing out of either eye almost impossible. Outdoors, even with sunglasses, I had to be led around by the hand.
I had an amazing doctor. I meticulously followed his instructions, and I think he was surprised I did. The treatment is really difficult, and if you don't do it just right no matter how painful it gets, you will be sorry. 
To my amazement, after about a month, my doctor informed me I had no vision loss in the eye at all. "This never happens," he said.
I'd spent a couple of weeks there trying to learn to draw in the near-dark with one eye, and in the end, I got all my sight back.
I could no longer wear contact lenses (I don't really wear them anyway, unless I'm going to the movies,) would need hard core sun protection for awhile, and the neuralgia and sun sensitivity were likely to linger. But I could get back to work.
I have never been more grateful in my life.
Neuralgia sucks, by the way, I'm still dealing with it months later.
Anyway, I decided to finally go ahead and tell the Good Omens team what was going on, especially since this was all happening around the time the Kickstarter was gearing up.
Now that I was sure I'd passed the eye peril, and my surgery for Stage 0 was going to be no big deal, I figured all was a go. I was still pretty uncomfortable and weak, and my ideal deadline was blown, but with the book not coming out for more than a year, all would be OK. I quit a bunch of jobs I had lined up to start after Good Omens, since the project was going to run far longer than I'd planned.
Everybody on the team was super-nice, and I was pretty optimistic at this time. But work was going pretty slow during, as you may imagine.
But again...lots of lead time still left, go me.
Then I finally got my surgery.
Which was not as happy an experience as I had been hoping for.
My family said the doc came out of the operating room looking like she'd been pulled backwards through a pipe, She informed them the tumor which looked tiny on the scan was "...huge and her insides are a mess."
Which was super not fun news.
Eff this guy.
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The tumor was hiding behind some dense tissue and cysts. After more tests, it was determined I'd need another surgery and was going to have to get further treatments after all.
The biopsy had been really painful, but the discomfort was gone after about a week, so no biggee. The second surgery was, weirdly, not as painful as the biopsy, but the fatigue was big time.
By then, the Good Omens Kickstarter had about run its course, and the record-breaker was both gratifying and a source of immense social pressure.
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I'd already turned most of my social media over to an assistant, and I'm glad I did.
But the next surgery was what really kicked me on my keister.
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All in all, they took out an area the size of a baseball. It was  hard to move and wiped me out for weeks and weeks. I could not take care of myself. I'd begun losing hair by this time anyway, and finally just lopped it off since it was too heavy for me to care for myself. The cut hides the bald spots pretty well.
After about a month, I got the go-ahead to travel to my show at the San Diego Comic Con Museum (which is running until the first week of April, BTW). I was very happy I had enough energy to do it. But as soon as I got back, I had to return to treatment.
Since I live way out in the country, going into the city to various hospitals and pharmacies was a real challenge. I made more than 100 trips last year, and a drive to the compounding pharmacy which produced the specialist eye medicine I could not get anywhere else was six hours alone.
Naturally, I wasn't getting anything done during this time.
But at least my main hospital is super swank.
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The oncology treatment went smoothly, until it didn't. The feels don't hit you until the end. By then I was flattened.
So flattened that I was too weak to control myself, fell over, and smashed my face into some equipment.
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Nearly tore off my damn nostril.
Eff this guy.
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Anyway, it was a bad year.
Here's what went right.
I have a good health insurance policy. The final tally on my health care costs ended up being about $150,000. I paid about 18% of that, including insurance. I had a high deductible and some experimental medicine insurance didn't cover. I had savings,  enough to cover the months I wasn't working, and my Patreon is also very supportive. So you didn't see me running a Gofundme or anything.
Thanks to everyone who ever bought one of my books.
No, none of that money was Good Omens Kickstarter money. I won't get most of my pay on that for months, which is just as well because it kept my taxes lower last year when I needed a break.
So, yay.
My nose is nearly healed. I opted out of plastic surgery, and it just sealed up by itself. I'll never be ready for my closeup, but who the hell cares.
I got to ring the bell.
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I had a very, VERY hard time getting back to work, especially with regard to focus and concentration. My work hours dropped by over 2/3. I was so fractured and weak, time kept slipping away while I sat in the studio like a zombie. Most of the last six months were a wash.
I assumed focus issues were due (in part) to stress, so sought counseling. This seemed like a good idea at first, but when the counselor asked me to detail my issues with anxiety, I spent two weeks doing just that and getting way more anxious, which was not helpful.
After that I went EFF THIS NOISE, I want practical tools, not touchy feelies (no judgment on people who need touchy-feelies, I need a pragmatic solution and I need it now,) so tried using the body doubling focus group technique for concentration and deep work.
Within two weeks, I returned to normal work hours.
I got rural broadband, jumping me from dial up speed to 1 GB per second.
It's a miracle.
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Massive doses of Vitamin D3 and K2. Yay.
The new computer works great.
The Kickstarter did so well, we got to expand the graphic novel to 200 pages. Double yay.
I'm running late, but everyone on the Good Omens team is super supportive. I don't know if I am going to make the book late or not, but if I do, well, it surely wasn't on purpose, and it won't be super late anyway. I still have months of lead time left.
I used to be something of a social media addict, but now I hardly ever even look at it, haven't been directly on some sites in over a year, and no longer miss it. It used to seem important and now doesn't.
More time for real life.
While I think the last year aged me about twenty years, I actually like me better with short hair. I'm keeping it.
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OK. Rough year. 
Not complainin', just sayin'.
Back to work on The Book.
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And only a day left to vote for Good Omens, Neil Gaiman, and Sandman in the Comicscene Awards. Thanks. 
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astonmartinii · 11 months
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tight knit | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x reader
spa 2021, where a knitting hobby comes in handy
yourusername
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liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 401,874 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: hello spa !! one of my fave tracks and i'm so excited for this weekend AND for those who asked, here's my current project, it's a sweater :)))))))
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user1: oh to receive pics of charles like that
user2: i love how she's like here's my fine ass bf but more importantly here's my update on my knitting
danielricciardo: is the man on the second slide single?
yourusername: HE'S MINE BACK OFF (p.s. i love you dan, but don't joke about that shit i have approximately 200 teenagers in my dms threatening violence everyday over him)
charles_leclerc: cherie, i didn't know that :(
yourusername: i'd fight all of them and more for your hand
charles_leclerc: my knight in shining armour
danielricciardo: okay i was trying to make a joke, it was not an invitation to prove how in love you guys are we get it
user3: i too wish i had a bf rich enough that i could travel and knit full time
pierregasly: have a day off for once
yourusername: keep on like that and you'll never get that panda
pierregasly: but you promised !!!!!
yourusername: be nice then
charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 1,208,760 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: calm before the storm at spa
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user4: now where does y/n get all of these cut head accessories?
yourusername: vinted babes
user5: we love a thrifty queen
user6: storm meaning driving the ferrari shit box
yourusername: wow you look great, banishing me to the row behind you just to take this photo was defo worth it
charles_leclerc: you were there for two mins max then you sat with me stop these false narratives
yourusername: lies it was five minutes cause you didn't like the angle
charles_leclerc: i want to look handsome is that too much to ask
yourusername: you're always pretty baby
user7: can they stop like i am so lonely i can't see this
carlossainz55: let it be known that the only way charles can beat me in chess is with y/n's help
yourusername: nooooooo i never helped i was knitting
charles_leclerc: i wasn't cheating !! y/n was just being nice to me
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f1
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liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 708,954 others
tagged: yourusername
f1: well, that's one way to spend qualifying's red flag. y/n y/ln spent her time in the ferrari garage working on her knitwear.
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user10: she said in her spa post it's a jumper i hope it's for charles
yourusername: it is, lord knows that boy needs all the help he can get in the wardrobe department
charles_leclerc: rude !!!! you never say anything
yourusername: you're always so proud i can't tell you it's bad
charles_leclerc: life ruined
yourusername: but you're so pretty no one cares about your criminal trouser collection
charles_leclerc: back handed compliment, but a compliment nonetheless
user11: she's so unbothered i love her
alexalbon: okay but when is my jumper coming @yourusername i ordered it last month
yourusername: it's coming i swear !!!
alexalbon: you let charles skip the line again didn't you
yourusername: maybe ...
yourusername
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liked by lilymunhe, charles_leclerc and 481,056 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: hoping for a drier sunday, drowned rat is definitely not my aesthetic
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user12: the first picture i am going to rip my skin off
charles_leclerc: is this the appropriate time to say save a horse ride a cowboy?
pierregasly: this is why ferrari is a red flag
yourusername: howdy
pierregasly: you people are gross
charles_leclerc: you talk about ur dick at any give opportunity
yourusername: and no one actually calls you tripod
user13: damn.... couples that drag together stay together
pierregasly: ok. i will refrain from talking about your sex life publicly.
user14: i love that y/n posts about knitting just as much as she posts about charles.
yourusername: charles is the side chick
charles_leclerc: it's true i've been told to roll over in bed to make more room for the yarn
f1wagsupdates
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liked by user15, user16 and 2,304 others
tagged: yourusername
f1wagsupdates: appreciation post for my favourite wag !!
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user17: i want to be her when i grow up
user18: i need her hair care routine asap
user19: can we stop putting these women on a pedestal for like no good reason?
user20: usually i'd agree but y/n has nothing but kind and a good role model, so if you idolise one wag it might as well be her
user21: her style is so underrated
user22: i need the jacket in the third slide
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scuderiaferrari
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liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 770,984 others
tagged: yourusername, charles_leclerc
scuderiaferrari: there's two types of people during a red flag at spa
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user23: they're so precious to me
charles_leclerc: i wish i could relax that much in the ferrari garage
yourusername: i am not relaxed, i am actually the most stressed, i just hide it well
charles_leclerc: maybe we'll confiscate the needles for the actual races
yourusername: probably the only wise strategy in that garage
user24: i love how y/n keeps going for ferrari's neck and charles just can't reply
carlossainz55: it's so cold can i get my christmas jumper order early @yourusername ?
yourusername: that's a big queue to skip chilli i'm not sure i can comply with that
carlossainz55: if i changed my name to charles would this change?
yourusername: maybe 🤔
user25: the sky camera is obsessed with her and i am exactly the same thank you for the content
yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and 508,673 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: it's a bit cold in spa so charlie's new jumper (just finished) is coming in handy straight away
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user26: LORD PLEASE I HAVE SEEN WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR OTHERS
user27: okay this is cute and all, but DAMN that jumper is so fucking cute y/n is so talented
charles_leclerc: i think the phrase is: came in clutch
yourusername: you're welcome baby
charles_leclerc: i retract my previous statement about confiscating the knitting needles and i will give up more space in bed for the yarn if this is what i get
yourusername: not us having a polyamorous relationship with KNITTING
user28: so like i need y/n to open up a shop
alexalbon: i hope mine comes next
yourusername: i'm on it already albono
lilymunhe: on his jumper or the one for me that he asked for
yourusername: yours obvs
alexalbon: mugged off again
charles_leclerc
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liked by landonorris, yourusername and 1,409,874 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: words cannot describe how much i love you (and your knitting). as george would say i am snug as a bug in a rug and it's all thanks to you
view all comments
user29: SNUG AS A BUG IN A RUG CHARLES WHO ARE YOU
yourusername: can they start the race so we can go be snug as a bug in a rug back at the hotel?
charles_leclerc: omw to the fia hq rn
yourusername: thanks baby
georgerussell63: i thought this was my job but thanks charles i guess
charles_leclerc: man of the people and the cuddles
user30: lord i am so lonely
danielricciardo: y/n x enchante collab when?
yourusername: coming to mclaren rn
charles_leclerc: so my cuddles mean nothing?
yourusername: have you seen this man's pricing we'll be rich baby
charles_leclerc: we are rich baby
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note: pls enjoy, requests may take a while cause your girl managed to break her finger lol
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dr3c0mix · 1 year
Note
umm is it possible to get a yandere! male!siren x shy!gn reader?
Fish Bait
Yandere!Siren x GN Reader
CW: Kidnapping, assault, minor stalking, murder, thalassophobia maybe?
🌊 You are quite shy when it came to talking to people. You found the whole 'socializing thing' a bit overwhelming considering how rough and loud the rest of the people in your academy was.
🌊 You much preferred staying by the shore with a nice book or drawing book to enjoy the sound of the waves with. The ocean breeze and wailing of seagulls never failed to relax you.
🌊 One day, you heard the strange sound of splashing by the tide pools along the more rocks area of the shore. You thought it was a fish or some other animal that got stuck in one of the pools after the tide retreated and got up to help it out.
🌊 But what you saw was no animal, well, half animal. In one of the pools was a man with the lower half of a fish, his scales glistened wondrously as it splashed in the water.
🌊 The man looked at you with wide eyes and froze. You put your hands up to show you meant no harm.
🌊 "Please! Spare me! I just want to go home!"
🌊 "Calm down! I won't hurt you!"
🌊 He shook with fear as your hands drew closer to him.
🌊 You then pulled him up from the pool and carried him to the sea, he stares at you as you gently lowered him unto the water.
🌊 As soon as his tail was submerged in the sea, he swam out of your grasp and went a distance away from you, part of his head peeking out of the water as his red eyes looked at yours.
🌊 "Well...safe travels.." You mutter, wading back to shore, but the merman peeks his mouth out the water and shouts to you.
🌊 "You're not going to ask anything in return?"
🌊 You look back. "Uhm..no, I'm fine, thanks anyway.."
🌊 "Hmm, you know...you can come with me to my home. I'll grant you the power to breathe under water and you can enjoy the treasures I have there. What do you say? It's the least I can do for what you've done for me!"
🌊 "Nah, I'm good. Be safe though, I heard theres pirates that hunt merfolk nowadays..." You continue your way to shore but the merman swims quickly to your side.
🌊 "Don't you want to be rid of those insolent fools you call schoolmates? I can give you a life people only dream of!"
🌊 "I'm not really..interested..."
🌊 "...You're not?"
🌊 "Yeah..."
🌊 "...Oh..uh..ok...wow-um..well, bye I guess..." The man stutters before sinking his head back into the water.
🌊 You sigh, that was some encounter. You doubt you'd run into something like that again...
🌊 Boy howdy you were wrong.
🌊 You'd spot the strange boy again and again, always hiding back behind the rock or piece of driftwood he was watching you from.
🌊 Sometimes you'd also find trinkets and beautiful stones laid on the shore. You never took them though; you didn't want to take something someone probably lost. The merman would grumble to himself every time you ignored his baits.
🌊 You'd also see him again trapped in the pools, feigning sorrow that poor little him got stuck again during another low tide. What ever shall he do?
🌊 Your days would go on like this, the merman desperately trying to lure you into the sea but to no avail due to your shy and polite nature.
🌊 Him basically stalking you turned to him directly talking to you and trying to get you to go with him in the water.
🌊 "Oh dear, I've been stuck at this reef for ages! I just can't get out! Could you help me please? I promise not to drown you!"
🌊 "No thanks, I'm on the last chapter of my book..."
🌊 "My, my, it's so lonely in the ocean, not a playmate in sight, come down with me so we can really get to know each other yeah?"
🌊 "I don't really wanna get my clothes wet..."
🌊 What you thought was a potentially dangerous creature of the sea became a whiny, attention-seeking drama queen.
🌊 Eventually, you'd learn his name is Caspian. He gave up a bit on trying to lure you and settled on making small talk with you.
🌊 Most of your conversations would revolve around your cultures, how you two lived compared to eachother.
🌊 "So those silver things with teeth aren't combs? Interesting...tell me more!"
🌊 He more or less looked up to you because of the knowledge you'd tell him, even though it was all basic things ever human knows, but he wasn't a human so, I guess it's alright.
🌊 He'd try to crawl onto shore to see what you were reading or drawing. You'd have to scoot away from him because he was dripping wet, and you didn't want your paper to get soiled.
🌊 Please read to him! He loves it when you read out loud the books you bring!
🌊 Life seemed pretty content with you having a friend to talk to, one who's not judgmental of your quiet personality.
🌊 That was until one day, you heard laughing and shouting from your usual spot.
🌊 You saw your classmates, waist deep in the water trying to drag Caspian to the shore, the merman snarling and biting the air around him angrily as the bullies degrade and laugh at his attempts to wriggle out of their grasp.
🌊 "Look at this, boys! With this ugly thing we can buy the whole pub if we wanted to!"
🌊 "H-hey! Leave him alone!" You shouted, dropping your things as you ran to help your friend, but one of them punched you with in the face and grabbed you, about to hit you again.
🌊 "What? You're gonna let this siren kill everyone that comes to this beach? God you're dumb! No wonder why you have no friends!"
🌊 He was about to give another blow when you both heard a shrill cry from the ocean.
🌊 The water pooled with crimson as only the splashing of limbs can be seen form the shore, cries and gurgles are heard from the writhing gore. Your classmate rushes into the water to save his friends before the violent splashing stops and the red patch of bloody water extends towards him and around him until you see him get yanked below into the water, a splash of a fish tail verified in your mind that it was Caspian.
🌊 You could feel your heart pounding as you see the siren lift its head from the water, his blood red eyes staring at you again with razor sharp teeth bared.
🌊 "P-please...don't hurt me..I didn't lead them to you I swear!" You cried as he crawled to your shivering form.
🌊 You held your breath as he pulled you in a wet hug, your clothes getting stained by the salty, bloody water.
🌊 "Oh my darling~ I know you would never hurt me~ But we're not safe here anymore..I fear I'll have to take you somewhere safer...somewhere away from those disgusting creatures."
🌊 You couldn't even react before you were pulled into the water forcefully, you kicked and swam all you could to get him to let go of you, but soon enough, your whole body was under the water. The only thing that was left of you were your things by the sand, and bubbles that rose to the surface before stopping.
🌊 "You'll be safe here my love, my most wonderful treasure~"
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this one was by far one of my favorite bois ive written, he's so mhmhmghghghmmmhmhmmhhh
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violetrainbow412-blog · 6 months
Note
Howdy! It's me again
How are you? I hope you are fine, and if not, then I encourage you from here!
Well, I would like to order something in which our dear Willy gets a little jealous because someone entered the factory and started flirting with his partner (reader) And that leads to a very affectionate moment between reader and Willy
Por cierto, qué le pones a los pedidos que escribes? Los siento muy emocionantes y me ponen a chillar a veces SJSGGWUW
(By the way, what do you put in the orders you write? I find them very exciting and they make me scream sometimes)
.—🌻
Tensions in the Factory [W. W]
Willy Wonka x fem!reader
word count: 1.7k
nota: ¡me hace muy feliz que te guste lo que escribo! creo que sólo se trata de hacerlo con amor (¿o algo así? jaja) Lamento haber tardado, entré a un trabajo durante vacaciones y apenas me queda tiempo, pero espero que sea de tu agrado, girasol:)
[ENG: It makes me very happy that you like what I write! I think it's just about doing it with love (or something like that? haha) I'm sorry it took me so long, I started a job during vacation and I barely have time left, but I hope you like it, sunflower:)]
taglist: @dyieying @reallysparklychaos [Timothée masterlist]
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“Your factory is impressive, Mr. Wonka,” said the man next to the boy, with a satisfied smile on his face after the tour he had given him.
Willy was pleased with the investor's recognition that he intended to finance a new branch for Wonka chocolates and if everything continued as expected, he knew that that same afternoon they would be signing a contract.
“I'm glad you like it. This is where all the magic happens, so I hope that with that new store things are even more promising for us.”
He wanted to add something else when, suddenly, he was interrupted by the vision of a person; it was you, beckoning to him from the other side of the factory with a board holding papers. He knew it had to be something important or else you would have waited, so he apologized to the young man at his side and walked quickly until he reached you.
“Oh, I'm sorry to bother you, but one of the machines that churns the chocolate is jammed and making a mess in there, do you think you can check it?” you murmured, sounding slightly worried about the situation.
“Yes, I'll go right away. While you will talk to Mr. Salt? Tell him to excuse me for a moment”
"Yes, I will do it"
“You're an angel, thank you for letting me know,” he said goodbye, gently caressing the side of your face and practically running to solve the problem you had just told him about.
The man looking at you curiously from the other side couldn't have been more than a couple of years older than Willy and he was handsome, dressed in a gray formal suit that was worthy of a businessman. You had heard that he had a lot of money and although at first the chocolatier was not very convinced, after thinking about it better he believed that it was a good time to expand his horizons; that included having more stores to sell more chocolates. He had told you about the idea and you had been excited about it, so you motivated him to contact interested businessmen.
Although you didn't really enjoy talking to strangers, you took a deep breath and walked over to where the man was to greet him.
“Mr. Salt?” you said timidly, to get his attention. He watched you for a moment and when he got a better look at you, then he smiled hugely.
“Just call me Henry, Henry Salt. It's my pleasure," he replied, reaching out to shake your hand a little longer than expected. "Are you Mr. Wonka's secretary?"
It wasn't the first time a guy thought that about you, after all you were always behind your boyfriend with that board in your hand, writing things down, checking the operation, and reminding him of everything, however, Willy had always said that you were his partner and he wouldn't expect anyone to disparage your position: this factory belongs to both of us, he always said. 
But it was easier to say yes than to explain all that.
“Something like that. He asked me to tell you that he had to attend to an emergency, but that he will be right back.”
"Oh, sure. There is no problem with it as long as you keep me company” he said happily.
The man was looking at you up and down, as if you were the most interesting thing he had seen in the factory so far, but you didn't notice it, because you were too focused on the thought of how Willy was handling the machinery.
“Did you like the factory?” you exclaimed, trying to get a topic of conversation that would kill the silence that had enveloped you.
You could tell that he was an educated man, because he immediately started talking to you about the structure of the building, finances, what a good investment it would be to open a branch and also about how much he loved chocolate.
“I have a daughter named Veruca. She is just a baby, but I hope to be able to give her everything she wants in the future. I only plan to work to fulfill her whims”
“Ow, that's sweet,” you tried to flatter. At least his motives were noble.
“She looks a little like you, actually. You are very beautiful"
You had to admit that the comment threw you off, but you still laughed nervously. Maybe he was just trying to be nice to you, so you could persuade Willy to close the deal with that man.
“Huh, I appreciate it, Mr. Salt.”
“What are your favorite chocolates? I imagine that being here you eat them in droves, right?” he murmured.
You hoped that with that the conversation would take a different direction, so you started talking to him about all the types of chocolates that Willy prepared for you: the sweet ones, some salty ones, the magical ones, the strange ones...
“But I think my favorites are definitely the mint chocolates. They may be simple, but Mr. Wonka prepares them in an exceptional way," you said dreamily, remembering that upon discovering it he had prepared an entire jar just for you.
“When the branch is open, you can stop by to eat all the mint chocolates you want. At a special price for special ladies”
You laughed at that, not so much out of desire but out of commitment to the potential client. Suddenly a hand was placed on your waist and when you turned in the direction of the body that had approached you, you noticed that it was who it could only be. You frowned slightly when you noticed that he was frowning, as if something had bothered him.
“I'm sorry I was late. Everything is in order now, would you like to accompany me inside, Mr. Salt?” he said. His voice sounded calm and stern, without that cheerful tone he always had, and he still had one hand planted firmly on your body.
“Of course,” the chocolatier made a sign for the opponent to start walking and he did not take his eyes off him at any time, noticing that Mr. Salt was looking at you with the same interest.
If he was unhappy with something, he didn't say it, and he just left a gentle kiss on your head.
“See you in a bit, okay?” You nodded and pushed him just a little, inviting him to follow the businessman you had just spoken to. He got lost down the hallway and you returned to your tasks, not imagining the feeling that was bubbling in your partner's chest.
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“That man is a complete idiot.”
You were surprised to hear the boy use those words and, above all, by the furious tone with which he had expressed himself. You interrupted your tasks of making dinner to pay attention to him.
“Who are you talking about?
“From Mr. Salt, of course! I didn't sign the contract with him. Don't even think about it, he's a… a complete nutcase”
"What are you talking about? What happened?" you asked, completely surprised by what he was telling you. You put everything aside to approach him and held his face to analyze his expression: it was extremely strange to see him this upset “Honey?”
“He was flirting with you! Don't think I didn't notice, when I left, he... he started talking to you that way. And not satisfied with that, he called you my assistant and then he hinted that he wanted a romance with you. He said punctually: I hope that, if I open this new branch, you will send your pretty assistant to help me with everything necessary” he was red with anger as he said that and he had to breathe for a moment to compose himself. "So I told him immediately that there was no deal if he dared to talk about my wife like that.”
There was too much to process at once. You felt disgusted at the idea that another man had shown interest in you, but at the same time you were surprised by how he had reacted. Willy wasn't a possessive husband, but right now you were feeling something strange about this side of him.
“You don't have to worry about that…”
“Of course I have to. You're beautiful and I'm sure everyone realizes that, but I won't let anyone look at you like he was looking at you. It is my job to protect you and that includes not entering into relationships with those who want to take advantage of you.”
He sounded sincere and passionate when he spoke, convincing you that he was very serious about the matter. Contrary to what he expected, you smiled and cupped his cheeks again to kiss him on the lips. He melted at the touch, you knew it by the way his shoulders completely relaxed and his hands came up to hold your elbows during the seconds you were kissing him.
Once he was more relaxed, you spoke.
“It's all right, love. Can you calm down?” you asked him. Your hand began to gently caress his cheeks and your eyes looked pleading, something he couldn't resist. “You shouldn't have wasted such an opportunity, but... I appreciate that you rejected it. For me"
“I would do anything for you,” he said immediately. Suddenly he felt the urge to kiss you again and he did, deeply and lovingly. You didn't resist.
“You're my only boy, you know that? No one in the world could take me from your arms” 
“That's not my fear, I know that nothing can separate us” he assured you, smiling from ear to ear. That's how sure he was about yours, that agreed with the pair of rings on your fingers “Besides, there will be more opportunities, you don't have to feel guilty about anything.”
“I don’t,” you exclaimed, to reassure him. You knew he had done the right thing and you loved him for it “Are you hungry? I'm making you something for dinner” you confessed and then he nodded.
He could smell what you were cooking and when you reached out to stir the contents of the saucepan with a stick, he hugged you from behind, starting to talk about something more trivial than that failed business and feeling clearly relaxed, now that he knew he was and he would always be the only owner of your heart.
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kbspangler · 3 months
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This is the public statement from @alepresser and myself which went up at Webtoons tonight.
Now for some ranting. Just from me, not from Ale—she's innocent of the art crimes I've committed in the past, and boy howdy have I committed art crimes.
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This is the first page of my first webcomic, A Girl and Her Fed. I started this thing back in 2006. (I don't actually need a head count of those reading this who weren't yet born in 2006. I'm sure you're delightful and I wish you well in college.)
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And this is the last page I drew in early 2020 before I turned art duties over to Dr. Beer. It's better, right?
Well, these days, A Girl and Her Fed has pages like this:
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I drew this comic for fourteen fucking years because it's a story I wanted to tell, and I thought webcomics were the perfect format for it. I didn't know how to draw. I got better through sheer obstinate perseverance and sticking to deadlines as best I could for, again, fourteen fucking years. I sought out a replacement artist when I ran into time constraints and couldn't do art plus writing anymore; I'm a much better writer than an artist, so I had no problems whatsoever kicking art to the curb.
The first time Ale sent me art that would go up on the website—art I hadn't needed to draw myself—I literally cried in relief because I had been grinding myself down for, yet again, fourteen fucking years.
So when I read comments from people who say they want to make a webcomic but can't draw themselves and therefore need to resort to AI, that little line between my eyes gets dangerously deep.
This isn't like I'm some old dude who's bitching over student loans getting cancelled after making regular payments. This is me, someone who threw raw art onto the internet like a monkey hurling fresh poo, because I wanted to make a webcomic and the art is part of the process of storytelling via webcomics! I could've (arguably should've) hired an artist right out of the gate, and that would've been part of the process of making comics, too: a partnership between an artist and a writer is also something which grows and develops over time.
For example, after Dr. Beer and I spent two years working on AGAHF, we decided we enjoyed our partnership so much that we set out to make another webcomic! It's great! It's got wonderful art and consistent storytelling! You should read it!
But turning art duties over to unaltered images generated by AI because you want to make a webcomic but "just can't draw" is, frankly, a bullshit excuse. I'm not talking about persons who are physically unable to draw due to disability—I'm talking about people who say they want to make webcomics but simply don't wanna do the art part.
Friends, if you don't want to show your entire ass in front of God and country, you don't actually want to make a webcomic.
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Do the thing yourself.
If you're scared, don't be. Take the plunge. Set a goal of twenty strips and do the thing yourself. If you can already draw but can't write? Great! Write twenty strips, write forty panels, etc. You might surprise yourself. If you can write but can't draw? Great! Draw twenty panels and see what happens.
Whatever comes out of it, it's a thing you've done yourself. It's something new you've given to the world, no matter how big or small. Be proud of that. And if you need to partner with someone else to make your comic dreams work? You can do that, too! It's still a thing you've done yourself, and many projects are stronger when done together.
...but maaaaaaaaaybe hire that partner before you've busted your own ass for fourteen fucking years. That one's on me.
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thagomizersshow · 10 months
Text
Apes are a kind of monkey, and that's ok
This is a pet peeve of mine in sci comm ESPECIALLY because many well respected scientific institutions are insistent about apes and monkeys being separate things, despite how it's been established for nearly a century that apes are just a specific kind of monkey.
Nearly every zoo I've visited that houses apes has a sign somewhere like the one below that explains the supposed distinction between the two groups, focusing on anatomy instead of phylogeny.
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(Every time I see a graphic like this I age ten years) Movies even do this, especially when they want to sound credible. Take this scene from Rise of the Planet of the Apes:
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This guy Franklin is presented as the authority on apes in this scene, and he treats James Franco calling a chimpanzee a monkey like it's insulting.
But when you actually look at a primate family tree, you can see that apes are on the same branch as Old World monkeys, while New World monkeys branched off much earlier.
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(I'm assuming bushbabies are included as "lorises" here?)
To put it simply, that means you and I are more closely related to a baboon than a baboon is to a capuchin.
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Either the definition of monkey includes apes OR we can keep using an anatomical definition and Barbary macaques get to be an ape because they're tailless.
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"I've got no tails on me!"
SO
Why did all this happen? Why did we start insisting apes are monkeys, especially considering the two words were pretty much interchangeable for centuries? Well I've got one word for ya...
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This the attitude that puts humans on a pedestal over other life on Earth. That there are intrinsically important features of humanity, and other living things are simply stepping stones in that direction.
At the dawn of evolutionary study, anthropocentrism was enforced by using a model called evolutionary grades. And boy howdy do I hate evolutionary grades.
Basically, a grade is a way of defining a group of animals by using anatomical "complexity". It's the idea that evolution has milestones of importance that, once reached, makes an organism into a new kind of thing. You can almost think of it like evolutionary levels. An animal "levels up" once it gains a certain trait deemed "complex".
You can probably see the issue here; that complexity is an ephemeral idea defined through subjectivity, rather than based off anything truly observable. What makes walking on 2 legs more complex than walking on four? How are tails less complex than no tails? "Complexity" in this context is unmeasurable, therefore it is unscientific. That's why evolutionary grades suck and I never want to look at one.
For primates, this meant once some of them lost their tails, grew bigger brains, and started brachiating instead of leaping, they simply "leveled up" and became apes. Despite the early recognition that apes were simply a branch of the Old World monkey family tree (1785!), the idea of grades took precedent over the phylogenetic link.
In the early years of primatology, humans were even seen as a grade "above" apes, related but separated by our upright stance and supposed far greater intelligence (this was before other apes were recognized tool users).
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It wasn't until the goddamn 1970s that it was recognized all great apes should be included in the clade Hominidae alongside humanity. This was a major shift in thinking, and required not just science, but the public, to recognize just how close we are to other living species. It seems like this change has, thankfully, happened and most institutions and science respecting folks have accepted this fact. Those who don't accept it tend to have a lot more issues with science than only accepting humans as apes.
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And now, we come to the current problem. Why is there a persistent idea that monkeys and apes are separate?
I want to make it clear I don't believe there was a conscious movement at play here. I think there's a lot of things going on, but there isn't some anti-monkey lobby that is hiding the truth. I think the problem is more complicated and deals with how human brains and human culture often struggle to do too many changes at once.
Now, I haven't seen any studies on this topic, so everything I say going forward is based on my own experience of how people react to learning apes (and therefore, humans) are monkeys.
First off, there is a lot of mental rearranging you have to do to accept humans as monkeys. First you, gotta accept humans as apes, then you have to stop thinking in grades and look at the family tree. Then you have to accept that apes are on the Old World monkey branch, separate from the New World monkeys.
That's a lot of steps, and I've seen science-minded zoo educators struggle with that much mental rearranging. And even while they accept this to an extent, they often find it even harder to communicate these ideas to the public.
I think this is a big reason why zoos and museums often push this idea the hardest. Convincing the public humans are apes is already a challenge, teaching them that all apes are monkeys at the same time might seem impossible.
I believe the other big reason people cling to the "apes-aren't-monkeys" idea is that it still allows for that extra bit of comforting anthropocentrism. Think of it this way; anthropocentrism puts humans on a pedestal. When you learn that humans are apes, you can either remove the pedestal and place humans with other animals, OR, you can place the apes up on the pedestal with humanity. For those that have an anthropocentric worldview, it can actually be easier to "uplift" the apes than ditch the pedestal.
Too make things worse, monkeys are such a symbol of a "primitive" animal nature that many can't accept raising them to the "level" of humanity, but removing the pedestal altogether is equally painful. So they hold tight to an outdated idea despite all the evidence. This is why there's often offense taken when an ape is called a monkey. It's tantamount to someone calling you a monkey, and that's too much of a challenge to anthropocentrism.
Personally, I think recognizing myself as a monkey is wonderful. Non-ape monkeys are as "complex" as any ape. They make tools, they have dynamic social groups, they're adapted to a wide range of environments, AND they have the best hair of all primates.
I think we should be honored to be considered one of them.
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reallyromealone · 3 months
Text
Title: ducky
Fandom: hazbin hotel
Pairing: Lucifer x reader
Warnings: reader is Jessica rabbit coded, make reader, sexual themes, reader hates Valentino, softcore nsfw, crack treated seriously, Lucifer is a simp, reader cross dresses, reader wears lipstick, the word daddy
Notes: the amount of rewrites boy howdy
🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️
After every show, (name) had gifts waiting from fans.
Flowers, expensive jewelry and other things were always there but one thing always stuck out to him, an adorable rubber duck dressed like him, wearing an adorable version of the show he did previously. Todays was his pink dress, the jazz singer loved cross dressing and it seemed his admirer noticed every detail of his outfits... It had him swooning! "Oh the note!" He said looking for the rose gold paper with black ink, another joke that was corny and wishing him a good day... Oh he was so wonderful!
It was the best part of his day, really it was.
Before this, his eternity was always so drab... Singing his songs and nothing of interest happening.
"It's time" one of his security guards said seriously and (name) nodded, placing the duck in his suit pocket before leaving with the men and out the back area of the club where the limo was waiting for him.
Not before catching eyes with the one person be despised and was sadly obsessed with him, Valentino smirked as he stepped out of the limo across the street as (name) got into his own faster, not wanting to deal with him especially after a performance. He couldn't stand that moth! The demon had been obsessed with (name) for years along with his little picture box friend, he remembered when they sent him molds of their erections! Disgusting!
(Name) Made sure his driver left faster, not wanting to deal with that man any more than he needed to.
"Your father requested your presence" the driver said to (name) who looked passive "what for?" He asked as a smile found its way in his face as the driver explained about some project the demon was partaking in and wanted (name)s help, the jazz demon excited to see what was taking all his father's time these days "then let's go see, shall we?"
(Name) Was not expecting some hotel on the edge of town "Hazbin hotel?" He mumbled curiously as he walked into the hotel, his driver going on his break and (name) wasn't expecting his father to be arguing with a small blond man "papa?" He asked with a passive Expression, where Alastor smiled (name) kept passive "(name)! There you are!" Alastor said dismissing the other immediately to walk to his son "how was your show little one?" He asked his son who let out a soft huff, amused "it was quite well, what's this shindig?" He gestured to the group of people and his dad grinned.
"I have someone for you to meet"
Everyone knew who (name) was, he was on every billboard across pentagram city and Angel dust knew how obsessed Vox and Valentino were with him, throwing tantrums whenever their wooing attempts went south.
But what they didn't know was that (name) was Alastors son.
"Wait son?! Sinners can't procreate?" Charlie asked curiously as Alastor laughed robotically "he was my son when I was alive, sadly I died when he was little--"'--and I was raised by grandma!" (Name) Continued and they were curious on how (name) was in hell but decided not to prod on that and now that they looked at them, they could see the resemblances.
Height being a main one, (name) just a bit shorter than his dad.
"It's a pleasure to meet you all, now why am I here?" He asked his father curiously and the radio demon grinned wider "well you see, we need someone to notice this place and what better than the most popular jazz singer in this place!" Alastor said merrily and (name) raised an eyebrow but sighed "I will on a condition" Charlie was vibrating with excitement as she nodded "whatever you want!"
"I'm looking for someone, I don't know who they are but I have a few clues" (name) pulled out the notes and the duck from his pockets "this person botherin' ya?" Husk asked suspiciously and (name) shook his head "quite the opposite actually!" Charlie and Alastor looked at each other and then the rubber duck in realization as Lucifer looked increasingly uncomfortable.
"Dad, is that your duck?" (Name) Drew his attention to the now panicking fallen angel who looked back at (name) stressed out "I think we should talk" (name) said to the blond man who followed nervously, the two going off somewhere as everyone processed what just happened.
"I can expla--" (name) stopped him with a kiss, gently holding Lucifer's face and his thumbs stroking his cheekbones before pulling back "I uh, I don't understand?" Lucifer said dumbly and (name) grinned "I never got a chance to tell you how my day was, awful rude doll~" he whispered to Lucifer and smiled at the smudged red lipstick from his performance on Lucifer's lips "s-so does this mean...?"
"Oh darling, I'm not gonna let you go... But I gotta ask, what's your name? Or should I just call you ducky?" (Name) Teased the other who looked incredibly flustered "maybe baby? Or daddy?" He teased and Lucifer was deeply confused at how this walking sex symbol was related to fucking Alastor but the kiss he was being pulled back into made him forget it all.
"They have been there awfully long" Charlie fretted and Angel dust snorted "he's related to smiles over there, god knows what's happening"
"I'm gonna check on them" she said nervously and Alastor followed, fatherly instincts kicking in as they went to the room the two wandered off too, hearing gasps and grunts and the sound of something knocking over. In a panic Charlie opened the door and Angel dust couldn't hold his laughter at Alastor and Charlie's horrified faces at the scene before them.
(Name) On-top of Lucifer with his suit half off his body and Lucifer was no better with an exposed chest and unbuttoned pants connected to (names) full lack of pants, Lucifer sporting Hickey's and red lipstick all over his body.
"DID IT HAVE TO BE HIM?!" Lucifer was exasperated as the two quickly put themselves together and Charlie was traumatized at the fact she saw her dad... Like that.
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briefalpacashark · 3 months
Text
~Cowboys and Men~ Part One ~
Synopsis : The 141 have to play cowboys.
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You sat along with the other boys of the 141 as you stared at Laswell. She had just delivered the news of your next mission.
“Well shit,” you grin widely. Why? The mission was right up your alley. You had personal experience practically having grown up in the thick of it. The boys, however. You were almost certain that none of them had even come close to anything like it.
The mission. Going undercover in an American rodeo. 
“So you want us to play cowboy?” Price asked.
“That’s right. Long enough till you find this guy and bring him in,” she stated tapping her knuckle on a photo of the target. An older man with a grim surrounded by gray hair and a killer mustache.
“Y/N you'll be the one participating in the rodeo. The boys will be your team,” Laswell explained simply. 
“Her team?” Jonny asked, jabbing his thumb at you. “Why can't I be the horse rider huh?” he asked.
“Can you ride a horse?” Laswell asked.
“Well no, canne be hard, can it?” his question had you chuckling.
“Its an invite only event, we've got a contact. You'll head out tomorrow to show him what you got. He'll slot you in where he can,” Laswell focused on you as she spoke.
“Sure thing boss,” you nodded.
“Honestly Laswell, I think I could do a pretty good job,” Jonny stated.
“The fact that you think a rodeo only involves horses proves how unqualified you are for it,” You stated.
“And you are?” Jonny asked.
“I grew up in the saddle of a horse, mate. You're looking at a genuine drover,” you gestured to your body with a smirk.
“The fuck is a drover?” Jonny asked the rest of the team. Gaz simply shrugged.
“Alright dismissed,” Laswell said. 
You were quickly dispatched to the good old US of A. You were dropped off in a random field via helicopter. Your team walked up to two men on horseback. The one on the left was tall and buff with golden hair to die for. The other was slightly shorter and stubbier. But they both had one thing in common. They looked like genuine cowboys. Hats and everything.
“Howdy!” Jonny called with a terrible American accent.
“Fucken hell,” you chuckled, shaking your head.
“Forgive him. He's hit his head a few too many times,” Price stated.
“That stunt his growth too?” The blond asked. Your laugh broke through your lips as Jonny’s smile fell.
“The one you just shut up is Soap, that's Gaz, Ghost. I’m Bravo and that’s Doc.” he pointed you all out the cowboys, tipping their hat’s to you.
“Ma’am, I heard you're the only one with experience in the saddle,” the smile the blond gave you was slightly flirtatious.
“Since I was two. Grew up on a cattle station over in Australia,” You stated walking up to him to give them both a firm handshake.
“How could you choose the military life over one in the saddle?” he asked.
“Plan to get back to it one day,” you said your attention being grabbed by his horse that tried to nibble your jacket.
“He's gorgeous. Mustang?” You asked, reaching up to brush his nose.
“Yes Ma’am,” he nodded. “Care for a ride?” he asked with a wink. You chuckled at his obvious flirting attempt.
“Sorry mate. Not planning in hoping in any saddle that aint my own,” you said, giving the horse a pat.  
“Alright, well, this is Sam, my name's Aurthur,” he stated.
“Pleasure to meet you,” Price stated spoke up drawing the attention off you. 
“Pleasures all ours, Come on by the looks of you, it seems like we've got some work to do,” he stated.
“Work of what?” Gaz asked.
“To make you a lot cowboys,” he said with a grin.
First order of business, if you were to pass for cowboys, you had to look the part. Aurthur generously offered to take you all shopping. Your choice was quick, picked out for practicality. A simple light blue button up. A pair of denim jeans, a comfortable pair of boots and your old hat. You pulled the beat up looking thing out of your bag. It was your simple cattleman hat shape, in a dusty brown colour. It was scuffed and dirty, but it was yours. Setting it atop your head, you smiled at the familiar feeling. Slipping on the dark leather jacket, you fixed the collar before stepping out of the changing room.
“Look out,” Jonny stated from their allocated seats, all gathered in front of the changing rooms.
“So how do I look?” You asked, giving them a little pose.
“Like one hell of a rider,” Aurthur spoke up.
“So so,” Gaz tilted his hand back and forth.
“Oh yeah, let's see you do better,” you said tauntingly.
“Watch a master at work,” Gaz stated. You all waited for his outfit choice. When he stepped out you almost died of laughter. Tassels, tassels and fringe everywhere. On his head sat a bright red Tom Mix hat.
“What you don't think it's good?” he asked jokingly. 
“You look like you'll fly away in a light breeze,” Jonny joked.
“Eat shit soap,” Gaz flipped him off.
“Nah, I'll show you how it's done,” Jonny spoke up. Yells of shock sounded from you all as he walked out in a pair of assless chaps. Only they weren't assless. In fact you saw a lot of ass due to the fact that Jonny only wore the chaps. Nothing else. He held a small bowler's hat in front of his privates as he pretended to act confused. He turned around, giving you a clear view of his rosy red cheeks.
“Fucken hell,” you chuckled, tipping your hat down to cover your gaze.
“You know, I don't think I put these on in the right order,” he stated. Even the Price cracked a chuckle or two.
“Might get a rash ridding a saddle like that,” Ghost stated.
“I like it,” you said. Jonny gave you a wink.
“Come on Captain,” Jonny encouraged Price when his ass was contained again. 
Price walked out in a good pairing. A deep red button up, a pair of jeans, some lovely light brown boots, a light brown fleece jacket and a white brick shaped hat. 
“Captain my captain,” You whistled.
“Where did you find that fashion sense cap?” Ghost asked.
“Quiet you,” Price warned playfully.
“You know those videos where a baby sees their dad with their beard shaved for the first time and they just break out crying,” You asked. Jonny hummed in acknowledgment.
“I feel like that with that hat he's wearing,” you whispered. Jonny chuckled.
“Alright Ghost your turn,” Jonny said slapping Ghost shoulder. Ghost slowly moved his eyes from the captain to Jonny daring him to hit him again.
“Alright, be that way grumpy,” Jonny muttered. “Guess it's my turn again,” he stated. With your help, Jonny walked out in a tight black long sleeve shirt, a denim jacket and jeans. Black boots and a brown rolled brim with a puncher crown. He looked alright apart from the obviously large belt buckle he wore. A picture of a bulls head engraved on it.
“Compensating?” you asked, nodding to the buckle, getting a bird flipped to you.
“At least his ass is covered this time,” Ghost grumbled. Gaz tried again, deciding on a cowboy version of a lumberjack. Plated shirt with a vest jacket, a dark blue pair of jenes and a black version of his original hat. 
“Careful Gaz, that shirt looks a little tight,” Jonny called.
“That's the point,” Gaz stated with a smirk flexing his biceps.
“They can try all they want. The look of a cowboy is something that comes naturally. A look, ma’am that if you'll let me say looks extremely good on you,” Arthur leaned down to whisper to you. You smirked, shrugging.
“I don't know, I think they're pulling it off,” you stated. You chuckled as Gaz tried to perform his best cowboy walk. Hand on his belt and slaughtering forward before making a gun motion with his hand. And Jonny, who pretended to slow motion, to doge said bullets.
“Yeah sure,” Arthur muttered, making you chuckle harder. As you continued to watch Gaz and Jonny make a fool of themselves, you failed to notice a certain pair of eyes set on you. 
“Careful Lieutenant, you glare any harder and he might just get the message,” Price smirked as he saw the slightly pissed expression hidden behind the skull mask.
“Don't know what you mean, sir,” Ghost grumbled before walking away. 
Noticing Ghost's missing presence, you went to look for him, finding him in front of the many hats on display.
“Having trouble choosing?” You asked, walking up to him.
“Any pointers?” he asked.
“Can't help you there. This was my uncle's hat. He lost it when I won a bet,” you said.
“But,” you trailed off, your eyes searching through the hats. You smiled, reaching out to grab one.
“Yeah, this one,” you said, placing it on his head. It was low and pinched a grayish black.
“Yeah, that suits you,” you stated simply with a satisfied nod before walking away. 
When you all returned to the ranch, Simon changed into his outfit. Black jeans, dark brown boots, a black leather jacket and dark grey button up. On his head sat the hat you chose, and he still wore his skull balaclava.
“Well hello handsome,” Jonny called as he walked out to you.
“Zip it Mc’tavish,” he grumbled. Jonny chuckled as he walked up to you. In the pen Arthur walked out a horse already saddled up. Spotting other ranchers gathering round to watch with eager grins, you quickly assessed what was happening. It was a bucking horse, or at least one they were trying to break.
“Alright, lesson one of being a cowboy. Staying on a horse that doesn't want you to stay on,” Arthur stated with a wide grin.
“Any volunteers?” he asked. You chuckled, shaking your head as Jonny raised his hand eagerly.
“Love the spirit scots, man. This here is Bessy,” Arthur said, gesturing him forward. You whipped your mouth as Jonny confidently made his way into the pen.
“Ello Bessy,” he smirked. 
“I'd say goodbye to your balls now Soap, while you have the chance,” you called out to him.
“Ah, away with ye. I'll be fine,” Jonny waved you off.
“He's gonna eat shit isn't he?” Ghost asked folding his arms over his chest.
“All five courses of it,” you chuckled, pulling yourself up to sit on the railings. 
“He has medical cover right?” you asked Price that only shock his head at his soldier stupidity.
“Alright Soap. hold on tight,” After Arthur gave him a basic run down and when Jonny was sat comfortable in the saddle did he stepped back.
“You're gonna set a timer, wanna make sure there is proof when I stay on longer than those bastards,” Jonny nodded back to you all, giving you a wide confident grin as the horse started to pad at the ground.
“Sure thing, champ,” Arthur grinned. “Go on, give her a kick,” he suggested casually, taking a few cautious steps back. 
“What like this?” Jonny asked, kicking his heels gently into her sides. 
You knew pigs couldn't fly, but Jonny sure could. One buck had the poor man was out of the saddle onto the horses ass, then the second buck had the man cartwheeling through the air before landing flat on his ass his legs split in front of him. You and Gaz was practically dying of laughter as Jonny rolled around in pain holding his manly jewels. After Jonny’s poor first display, the ranchers started to pass around bets. 
“Who's next?” Arthur asked, turning to you lot.
Gaz sat on the back of Bessy looking like he was about to shit himself.
“Ok what do I do?” he asked shakily.
“Hold on,” Arthur stated simply.
“I know that, but I don't know the first thing about horses. Do do I pat it?” he asked.
“Sure, it probably won't do you any good though,” Arthur shrugged walking back.
“Come on Gaz,” you called encouragingly.
“I changed my mind, I want to get down,” Gaz stated. As he shifted his weight in the saddle, Bessy fell into a fit. Bucking and kicking like crazy. Gaz lasted about four seconds before he was bucked off. 
“This is bullshit,” Gaz grumbled, limping back to you trying to remove the dirt from his mouth. 
“Are the betting on us?” Jonny asked nodding to the growing group.
“There ranchers, this is probably the best entertainment they've had all week,” you stated.
“Yeah well they should stop,” Gaz grumbled.
“Why? They're actually betting in your favor,” you lied.
“Really?” he asked with a small grin of hope.
“No,” you chuckled, shaking your head, Gaz's smile instantly falling.
“Your acting way too high and mighty or this,” Gaz stated.
“I think I'm acting the right amount of high and mighty for my skills,” You shrugged.
“Skills we haven't seen yet,” Gaz grumbled.
“I don't need to prove anything,” you shrugged.
“Well, if ye so confident in yourself lass. How bout a wee little bet?” Jonny asked.
“Depends on what it is,” you smirked. With the smirk Jonny already knew you accepted the bet. 
“If anyone of us can last longer than you, you owe us all a week of sick leave,” Jonny put the offer forward. In the military you need a doctor's note or your medic's permission to have a sick day. Which was practically impossible to get. You don't abuse your power but you didn't put up with their bullshit either. So they only ever got sick leave when they were actually sick. And not a man cold either, they had to actually be sick.
“And what do I get?” you asked.
“Bragging rights?” Jonny suggested.
“I'll settle for a picture of you in the outfit you rocked back at the shop,” you stated, pointing to him. Jonny grinned widely.
“Deal,” he said as you too shook on it. 
“You ready, boss?” Jonny asked, turning to Price.
“A week of sick leave, you said?” he asked, debating if he wanted to be a part of your shenanigans.
“Yes sir,” you nodded. 
“Right,” he muttered, pushing his hat further down on his head before slipping in the coral and shaking his jacket off his shoulders.
You had to give it to Price, he was pretty good. And he looked like he stepped right out of a cow boy movie. The mustache and the fit was just perfect. You sucked in a breath as he was thrown from the horse. Impressed cheers came from the others. He lasted almost ten seconds.
“Ghost?” Jonny suggested.
“I prefer to keep my balls unpopped,” Ghost grumbled.
“Guess that's me then,” You spoke up. Walking up to Bessy you smiled brushing her nose before walking round her to where Arthur stood.
“Need a hand?” he offered.
“Nah mate,” you said effortlessly, swinging yourself up onto the saddle and taking the reins in hand. The familiar creak of the leather saddle and the ruff feel of the reins was welcoming. You settled into the back of the saddle, leaning back slightly. You pressed your hat down far enough down your forehead that the only thing you saw was your hands and the horse's shoulder blades.
“Alright, lets fucking do this,” you whispered before gently kicking her. You leaned back as far as you could and pulled the reins tight as she bucked wildly. Your body was jerked about left and right back and forth, yet you held on. The boys had to admit they were impressed. The ranchers cheered as the seconds drew on. As you hit the thirty second mark you swore as the horse slammed up against the side of the railings. To avoid you leg getting crushed you lumped off, the force sending you flying over the fence, right into Arthur who just happened to be sitting stop it. The two of you hit the ground in a cloud of dust. A relatively soft fall for you due to you landing on the cowboy.
“Fuck you alright?” You asked as you quickly hopped off the poor man.
“Look at that, falling for you already,” he groaned, painfully accepting your hand to help him up.
“That line usually work?” you asked with a small smile. You had to admit he was kinda cute.
“Well I don't usually have pretty women tackling me off the fence but here we are,” he said. You chuckled, shaking your head picking up your hat.
“How long was that Jonny!?” You yelled across the coral.
“Too fucking long!” he yelled back. You grinned smugly making your way back over to the boys.
Gaz and Jonny were adamant on getting those sick days. Price opted in for a few more tries, coming only four seconds from your record before he called it quits.
“Not gonna have a go Ghost?” you asked nudging his side.
“Risk getting hurt before the mission, not likely,” he stated as you watched Jonny narrowly avoid a broken bone. 
“Fair enough,” you muttered. The boys could not beat your best. With bruised bodies and prides you all retired to your a few spar rooms in the bunkhouse.
The next morning, you all gathered before dawn. Arthur said you were gonna learn how to ride. The boys walking a bit slower than they usually would. You were all assigned horses. Ghost and Price and Gaz were going well after some instruction. And Jonny. Well let's just say he wasn't built to ride horses. He just couldn't wrap his head around it. Loud laughs sounded as the horse started to trot slightly, sending your little scotsman's bouncing rapidly in his saddle.
“Fu-Uck En H-EL-LL,” he said through bounces as his head bobbled around. You rode up to him gently pulling on the rains to get the horse to slow down.
“Come on Mate. your ancestors road these guys into battle,” You said.
“Nah, these are American horses. If it was a scottish horse I would be grand,” he stated definitely. Amused by his logic, you just shook your head. To your surprise, Simon pulled up on the other side of Jonny. “Having a bit of trouble there?” Ghost asked smuggle. “Fuck Ye LT,” Jonny grunted, trying to glare only for him to slid sideways in the saddle. You reached out holding his jacket to keep him steady as he readjusted. Ghost smirked before trotting forward. You rode up to his side looking over his posture, one hand resting on his thigh, the other holding both the reins. 
“You’ve done this before,” you stated.
“When I was a kid,” he muttered.
“It shows, You're a natural,” you said.
“Not as good as you,” he said.
“Oh stop it, you'll make me blush,” you grinned. He glanced over at your smile, grunting in response.
“So this is your dream, huh?” he asked. Your grin turned into a fond smile.
“Yeah. I want a nice plot of land in the tablelands,” you stated.
“Table lands?” Ghost asked.
“I'll admit you guys have some nice green pastures in England. But the tablelands. Man, it's something different altogether. Rolling green hills right out of a picture book. It's high up, lots of rain, and rainforests. Fog will roll over the hills in the cold mornings and arvos. I'll have five horses, shit ton of chickens and cows. Maybe a goat or two,” your shrugged. “Two dogs. One working kelpie and and little staffy,” you continued.
“A big old cottage that I built myself. Oh, it's gotta have a basement. Definitely a secret passage. Maybe a fake skeleton chucked in there.” your words had Simon smiling as his eyes settled on you. Settled on the sparkle of your eyes as you described it all.
“Oh and there will be this big ol tree. If I have a family I'll string it up with fairy lights and lanterns. I'll invite you boys round for week long adventures. Big ol fire place next to it,” you reminisce of a life that you possibly might never get to live. After all, your job wasn't necessarily safe.
“Oh so I’m a part of this future huh?” he asked. The instant your gaze turned to him he realized what he said. His face flushed as your smile became impossibly brighter.
“Of course,” you stated simply. Only when you did think of all those things you left out one key part. Whenever you thought about your future, the annoying prick in front of you would pop into the frame. Helping you build the cottage. Putting one of his masks on the fake skeletons. Him in the tree hanging up the lights. Him sitting next to you around the roaring fire. Clearing his throat his face flushed deeply as he looked back to the path in front of you. You didn't see the flush though. You simply saw him avoiding your gaze. For a moment, he wondered if he was having a heart attack. He thought it was the only explanation for his rapid heartbeat.
“Were going for a run care to join?” Arthur called back to you.
“Sure,” you called back. 
“So you ready to show me just how good you are?” You leaned over to Ghost with a taunting
“Perhaps,” he grunted.
“First one to the tree up on that ridge,” you suggested.
“Are we betting anything?” he asked.
“Bragging rights?” you shrugged. “On three?” you suggested.
“Alright, three,” he stated kicking his horse into a gallop. An excited grin stretched across your face as you did the same. The cantering group let out exclamations of surprise as you two zoomed past them in a full gallop. Even with his headstart you quickly caught up to him. Riding would forever feel different to everything in your life. It felt like flying, but so much more magical. As you were neck and neck you looked over to Ghost who looked to you. With a wink, you dropped the reins, opening your arms out as the horse pulled forward. You won by just an inch. 
The next day it was game time. You were strapped up and dressed up for your rodeo. You left a little earlier than the boys. You were hanging around beer in hand playing the part as Arthur introduced you to a few people. Chucking your watch you glanced at the time.
“They should be here by now,” you muttered.
“Speak of the devils,” Arthur muttered nodding behind you. A low whistle left your lips as you took them in.
As everyone took them in. Women, buckle bunnies and men had their eyes set on the group. They looked like a master piece of hot manliness. And you had to admit they looked good enough to have anyone's panties dropped with just a word. There boots kicking up dust as they strutted through the crowd. You swore the music was perfect of their entrance, looking like a scene out of a movie.
“Boys,” you nodded to them as they approached.
“Anna,” Price nodded to you. Your cover name for the mission.
“Come on, I've got to introduce you to someone,” Arthur stated beckoning you all over. You sucked in a small breath as he took you all to the target. 
“Tommy,” Arthur greeted the man like old friends.
“Arthur, how are you, my boy?” he asked. He was an older man, a true cowboy.
“Good Good,” Arthur nodded as they embraced.
“So you're the one Arthurs has been speaking about. You should know outsiders aren't usually welcome here,” the target stated as he turned to you.
“What scared of the challenge?” you asked with a teasing smile. The man paused a beat before breaking out into laughter.
“She's a spunk fire all right. Name’s Tom, everyone calls me Tommy,” he greeted holding his hand out to you.
“Anna,” you introduced yourself.
“Anna, you dont look like an Anna,” he said.
“Oh yeah, what do I look like?” you asked.
“Some real classy name. Like Evangeline or somethin,” he stated.
“Well, you certainly look like a Tommy,” you said.
“Why thank you ma’am,” he tipped his hat to you.
“And who are these fellas?” he asked turning to the boys.
“I'm her manager, Cole,” Price introduced himself. “These boys are on the team,” he stated, pointing to the rest who gave nods.
“I see, well fellas I'll see you out there,” he stated giving you another nod before walking off.
“So we grabbing him?” Jonny asked.
“To many people here,” Price mumbled.
“After the main event you'll have your chance, that's when he goes home,” Arthur said. You nodded, glancing around you. Fancy profession buckers were walking all round you. 
“Nervous Darling?” Arthur asked. The boys gaze snapped to him, some pissed of some surprised. The way American men say darling is just something different.
“I'm about to strap myself to a state of the art bucking horse. Of corse im fucking nervous,” you muttered.
“Don't worry. Come on, there are some other events before. Let's get you warmed up,” he stated. You needed to keep your mind occupied, so you agreed. Steer wrestling and roping was your go to. You didn't place first in anything but you didn't do too bad. The boys looked at you in a different light as you rode beside a young bull, jumping off your horse to wrestle it to the ground, flipping it over and tying its legs up. 
“God damn,” Jonny whispered as you stood to your feet holding your hands in the air.
“She's good, really good,” Arthur stated as he stood by the boys.
“That's our girl,” Price stated simply.
“So, what are you lot to her?” he asked.
“What?” Gaz asked squinting at the man.
“You lot seem real close. I know you're a team but I don't want to step on anyone's toes, I'm a gentle man like that,” he shrugged.
“What do you mean step on anyone's toes?” Price asked, his arms folding over his chest taking on the protective dad stance.
“Look if she's spoken for I'll back off. But I don't see no ring, and she calls you all by name. No pet names,” Arthur trailed off before turning to Ghost.
“So I guess im asking what are you to her,” the question was pointed at Ghost the boys quickly catching on. Ghost turned fully to him tucking his hand under his arm pits where his guns sat, hidden by his jacket. Although he made a point to let the smooth metal peek out.
“I'm the guy that fucks you up seven ways to Sunday if you hurt her,” his voice was deathly low, shaking Arthur up a bit. Yet it was Simon's glare that had the man really scared. 
But he also got the answer he wanted.
“So she's available?” Arthur pointed out with a grin.
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=Cowboys and Men = Part Two here=
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~COD Master List Here~
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