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#brb need to get some air and cry more
neteyamyawne · 1 year
Note
Heyy, i saw that you make stories with grace
Could you please make grace x daughter reader, their relationship mother daughter going to the forest in the avatar bodies, anything else you want pleasee?!?!
A/n : this is so sweet, i love grace so much, I've been an avatar fan since 2009, and grace is still my absolute role model, i was so hurt when she died 😭 i will never forgive James Cameron for grace and neteyam. They were my favourite out of all others (except neytiri and tuk) 😭😭 anyways...
Ma'ite ♡
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Pairing : Grace Augustine x daughter!reader
Summary : a day in the life of being grace Augustine's daughter.
Fluff 🤍
❈ Warning : none, just fluff , mention of needle once
❈ Word count : 1.3k , proof read
❈ Note : this made me go back to my 2009 phase, I miss her so much, she would have been such an amazing mom omg, I'm gonna go and cry in the corner brb 😭
"word" - dialogue
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Your tablet was pulled out of your hands and you groaned "mommmm, please just one more hour, c'mon" you swirled in your chair looking at her, she just shook her head "nah uh, you've been saying that from past six hours missy, now get your lazy bum to the cafeteria, you need to eat something" you sighed you knew there was no arguing with your mother and she was right, you were studying that specimen way longer than you should have but in your defense it was so mesmerizing!
You sat down next to your mom and max, leaning onto her not really having the appetite to eat mash potatoes and beef that didn't even resembled the actual thing whatsoever,but she nudged you to eat even though the more you looked at it the more you wanted to vomit, so in the end you had a cup of tea/coffee and a bowl of fruits because it was better than puking your stomach out later, and also your mother demanded something fresh to be sent here once in a while. 
Later that day, you were going for the trip of specimen collection in the lush forests of Pandora, you always went on the collection trips because, first you get to drive your avatar and second, your love to explore pandora never died down,  getting into your avatar was the best part of the day, to be able to feel the nature around you and connect with it, while also to smack some scientists "accidentally" because you didn't see them, which was a lie, you saw them but it was more fun this way.
                       ⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆
Trudy flew around the trees, the airs rushing past your hair, the braids flowing in the current, the forest Below you happy and thriving, trudy landed carefully in a soft patch of grass, you bounced down glancing around, your tail up straight waving from side to side in curiosity, your ears up to hear each and every beautiful clicks and sounds made by the forest, making it alive, listening to the hoots and squeaks brought so much joy to you, grabbing your tablet and the collection kit, you walked behind your mom, as she led your way, coming to an halt near a giant tree, she crouched down motioning for you to do the same, and so you did, looking down at the thick root, scaning the area with her device that hanged around her neck, the electromagnetic signals were slow, so the tree can conserve energy for the time of distress, she described the specific physical details of the tree and I note them down, moving to the interior structures, she reached for the compound syringe, specially made for the extraction of the specimen, and pierced the root of the tree, you quickly scanned the pierced area with your tablet, the electromagnetic signals of the tree, zooming in bright lines on the screen, your eyes widen, mouth forming into a shocked smile as you showed it to her, this was new, the speed of transport of the message was way faster than the other samples collected, quickly taking the sample of the root and putting it back into the case and noting everything down in your notebook, you both walked further looking some more.
By the time you stopped collecting the sun was setting, you ended up having a piggy back ride on her back, because your legs got tired from all the walking, this was a daily occurrence by now , everytime you visited the forest for anything, it'd end up with her giving you a piggyback ride, and she didn't mind it either, while you walked together to the helicopter, the amount of samples you both collected today will keep you occupied inside the lab for more than 2 weeks minimum and you couldn't wait to start with them, nearing the rotter craft you gave her a kiss on the cheek and she dropped you off so you could climb into your  seat, today drained your energy levels, but in a good way, you grew up  surrounded by scientists 24/7, so knowing almost as good as them but you mostly worked with your favorite scientist in the whole world, exactly, your mom, and she loved to teach you too, giving the bits of knowledge that even the most qualified scientist below her didn't know. On the way back to the lab, your sleepless endeavors of last night's research sessions were taking a toll on you now, and you knew you won't be able to stay up late with your mom to finish the leftovers, but you'd try to push through it as much as you can. 
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Getting up from your link, you stretched your limbs, yawning as it was almost night and you were up all night yesterday due to the research, walking over to your mom's link you saw her with a cigarette in between her lips, blowing a puff of smoke into the air, you rolled my eyes, here she goes again, the same lecture you repeat to her on a daily basis "mom-" but she cut you short "i know, i know, this is the last one i promise" she signed, you stood beside her looking directly at her you spoke 
"That's what you said yesterday, mama"  you played the "mama" card on her, she always melts when you call her that, rubbing her eyes and the bridge of her nose with the other hand, groaning when she caught onto what you were thinking, finally she blunted the cigarette in the ashtray and threw away the remaining box, "I'm sorry, sweetheart, i won't do it again" you smiled, proud that she was taking such a huge step, you hugged her, after a little victory celebration with gummy bears, both of you walked to your lab where you worked together, you had to get everything set before the new scientists from earth come here tomorrow.
Rolling over to the other side where she worked, you propped your chin on her shoulder "c'mon, mama, I'm tired let's go to sleep" you said pressing your forehead on her shoulder now, she just chuckled "i told you to take rest before and warned this would happen, but ohh do you ever listen to me? No, then why should I listen to you now? Hm?" You huffed, sleep was overpowering you "I'm sorry, i was wrong, i should have slept but now can we please go to our room and sleep while watching a movie? Please please please" giving her the pouty lips and puppy dog eyes, she broke instantly not having it in her heart to say no to you.
                      ⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆
You rolled over, hugging her side as you both settled down on the bed together, she put on your all time favorite movie and wrapped her arms around you, kissing your forehead she said "this is the last time, I'm letting this slide, I won't do it again for you" and you nodded but you both knew she won't do such thing and she would let it slide because well you're her daughter and only your deadlines get postponed. You snuggled your head in her neck as she ran her hand through your hair, by the time the movie got to the halfway point you were fast asleep, noticing this she turned off the screen, gently lifting the blanket to cover your shoulder, pulling you closer to her chest, she drifted of to sleep herself, with you all snug in her arms.
She wouldn't trade this, even if it meant giving up herself, she'd do it without hesitation, you were her world and the only thing important to her in this universe, she can go to any means to keep you safe and protected. this was the exact reason she brought you with her to this base, the only condition she kept against the RDA for her to start working on the pandora mission two years ago, that you'd come with her, wherever she goes you'll be right by her side and you couldn't be more grateful for it. 
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A/n : please request more of her, I love her so damn much 😭 I'll probably add more to this afterwards, if you wanna be tagged in my posts, comment on my taglist post for more info check my pinned post.
Yawne : @fanboyluvr, @callmeoncette, @lu-the-ghost-reader, @brisbriskett, @saltedcoffeescotch, @ducks118, @itscheybaby, @jackiehollanderr, @zoetrope1997, @yeosxxx, @persefolli, @im-in-a-pansexual-panik, @theycallmesia.
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© Neteyamyawne 2023 | All Rights Reserved. Do not repost on other platforms, copy, steal, or translate any of my works!
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buckgasms · 2 years
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💜Kissing + Wakanda Bucky
#pom darling
#2k celebration
Thank you darling @elle14-blog1 for this. I was in the mood for some fluff and since I've had a visit from a vile little troll I definitely needed this ❤️
So let's have a little dream together shall we about gorgeous, perfect Wakanda Bucky 🤌🏻
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- Imagine kissing Wakanda era Bucky 😍
- He'd be kinda nervous I reckon at first.
- This is probably his first romance right? There might have been some little flings here and there but this is where he's got time to work on his skills y'know?
- There's so many kinds of kisses 🤌🏻
💋
- Pecks on the cheek!
- He sneaks up behind you and presses quick kisses on your cheek, his beard scratching your soft skin.
- I imagine he'd softly hold your waist as he did it before letting go and going back to whatever little task he had to do...
- But you'd just stand there dumbfounded and giggling before you could carry on with anything.
💋
- FOREHEAD KISSES
- Sitting by a little campfire, look out over a lake
- Head on his shoulder as his deep, quiet voice rumbles in the silence
- Your arm wraps around his, his hand squeezing your thigh absentmindedly.
- Then he'll turn his head ever so slightly and press a little kiss to your forehead.
- His lips linger there for a moment, a nice warmth shared between you.
- Omg what bliss 🥹
💋
- Morning kisses are going be 🤌🏻
- I feel like he wakes up before you, but he likes to lie there and watch you a little bit. It calms him down if he's had a rough night.
- Then he leans in, pressing tickly kisses to your neck and chest, taking his time, breathing you in
- As you stir he presses a few to your cheeks and then captures your lips in a longer kiss.
- He chuckles as you softly whine before you wrap your arms around him and pull him down to deepen the kiss
- "Morning sweetheart" he mumbles between long, sweet kisses.
- "Good Morning Bucky" You whisper, smiling and twirl your fingers through his hair as his hands squeeze you and pull you closer
- Luckily mornings can be pretty slow in Wakanda....
💋
- But there's the best kinda kisses
- The one's where you haven't seen each other all day long
- Or he had a nightmare, or maybe there was some chilliness between you because he didn't know how to say how he felt...
- Either way he needs you desperately. He can't stop thinking about you, his blood runs hot in his veins as his need for you drives him crazy.
- You aren't much better.
- It feels like you left the house without brushing your teeth. That's how natural his kisses are. Part of the routine. Part of living.
- Finally you see each other.
- He's walking back to your little hut, sun setting behind him and you just need him in your arms.
- You rush towards him and he rushes to you, silly smiles breaking on your faces.
- Suddenly you are in his arms, his hand tight in your hair as your lips crash together.
- Your arms wrap around his shoulders, pulling him tight.
- His lips suck on yours, teeth clash, tongue exploring your mouth.
- You can barely breath but you don't care, you can't get enough of him and he can't get enough of you.
- You just stand there, wrapped up in each other for a while until you finally have to break for air.
- Your eyes both glistening a little, you stroke his bearded cheeks and as he pulls you closer.
- You both laugh at each other before he kisses you one more time before you walk back to the hut, hand in hand and happy.
Brb crying and wishing I could kiss Bucky 🥹😍
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cuzimitaliano · 3 years
Text
I Really Do Love You - T.R.
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TW: Drinking + Smoking, Mental Illness, Death/Offing Urself, Implied OD, Graveyards, Bad Grammar/Not Proofread
A/N: This is my first Måneskin fic so I'm sorry if anything is wrong. Most of the Italian is translated because I'm not that good at it yet </3 If anything in the TW's trigger you, please don't read. I would rather lose a like or a read than make someone read something that will be harmful to them. I wrote this to make me feel better, so I don't want you to feel bad from reading it. Thank you.
Word Count: 3,800+
Thomas Raggi x Female Reader
✮✮✮✮
You run out of class right when the bell rings, making sure to leave first. You don't even care that the teacher is yelling, you just want to get out of that hell hole.
You keep running until your body can't take it. You just want to break down, but you can't. You have to hold it in until you get home. Just hold it in.
You're relieved to find that none of your friends were home. If they saw you like this, they would be so worried about you. You don't want to be a burden. They've done so much for you, and they're always busy with the band, so watching after you would put so much more on their plate.
You walk over to the armchair and just sit there, tears threatening to fall. You're trying not to cry, because your eyes always get puffy after crying and they'll obviously notice. Your phone interrupted you, though, and you reluctantly pick it up. It was your boyfriend, Thomas.
- Thomas The Train 🚂: did u get home from school yet tesoro
- You: just got home amore <3
- Thomas The Train 🚂: that's good, me and the gang are gonna be back in a bit
- Thomas The Train 🚂: just had to pick some stuff up
- You: I can't wait to see what you bring back. ti amo
- Thomas The Train 🚂: ti amo
You almost close your phone, but your fingers take you to the next page of your home screen and end up clicking on Instagram. You know you shouldn't look at it, but you can't help it.
The comments have gotten worse than before. Below a selfie you and Vic took together people are saying things like "Who is that ugly girl next to Vic?" or "Vic: ❤️❤️❤️ | Thomas's GF: 🤮🤮" There was some good comments, but most of them were just making fun of you. They were worse on pictures of just yourself.
You couldn't take it. You never asked Thomas to love you. You never asked to be friends with the band. You never asked for any of this. It's not like people were nicer before. People always made fun of you.
You didn't know how to stop them. You didn't know how. It's like your head was a yearbook without the fake happiness. You pick your phone up and click on Find My. They're 4 miles away. That's enough time. You grab a piece of paper, scribbling down a quick note.
You walk to the bathroom, not wanting to make a lot of noise. You don't even now why, you're alone. You keep staring at yourself, hating everything about it. You just want to escape. You just can't take it.
You bend down and open the cabinet. You eye the item you desire, quickly picking it up. You hope Victoria doesn't mind you're borrowing it. That little voice in your head won't shut up. It keeps beckoning you. Nothing seems right except listening to it.
✮✮✮✮
Thomas walked into the house, helping carry some of the bags the four of them got from the store. I can't wait to show Y/N. He thought. She'll love them.
"Ethan, where should I put these bags? I need to go to the bathroom." He asked.
"Ummm, just put it on the couch. We'll move them later." He replied.
"K. Brb."
He walks over to the bathroom. The door is closed, which is odd. He thought it was left open.
Maybe Y/N is in there. She wasn't in the living room like usual. He decided to knock.
"Y/N? You in here?" No response. "Y/N? Y/N? Y/N, you're worrying me. Come on, open the door. Please? Y/N? You know what, I'm coming in!"
He slowly opens the door, trying not to scare her if she was actually in there.
"Y/N?" Thomas started gasping for air. "Oh my god, oh my god. Fanculo, fanculo, fanculo. Why? Why?!" Tears started running down his face. He started looking around wildly, until his eyes landed upon a piece of paper. He bent down to pick it up and started to silently read it.
Thomas, i love you so much. I hope you know that. You're one of the best things that ever happened to me. But bambino, i couldn't take it any longer. You all are lying to yourselves when you call me beautiful. I never told you this, but everyone at school makes fun of me. i'm a laughing stock. I, well this is hard to say, but a lot of the fans don't like me. They call me many names, and say so many other mean things. i know i'll never be good enough. But, i believe you can get on without me. I want you to live your life, Thomas. Find someone you truly love, have a  family which i  know is going to be beautiful  just like you, and live out your dreams. you can do it without me. i know you can. ti amo, my little train. ti amo. - Y/N
"Oh god. Bambina..." Thomas's sobs grew louder. "No, no, it can't-"
"Thomas? You okay bud?" Thomas heard Damiano interrupt outside the door.
Thomas took a deep breath and said in the calmest voice he could manage, "I'm fine, Damiano. Perfectly fine."
"Are you sure? It sounds like you're crying."
"I-it's fine."
"Thomas."
"What?"
"I'm coming in, okay?"
"No Dami Please-"
"Oh my god." He mumbled, standing above Thomas and the limp body. "She-"
Thomas broke out into louder sobs, hugging his arms tightly. Victoria and Ethan heard and came running over, only to be shaken by the fact that their best friend's body was lying dead on the ground.
Ethan reached down his hand to hold Thomas shoulder. "Thomas, be honest. Are you okay?"
"I'm leaving." Thomas whimpered, brushing off Ethan's hand and pushing his way out the door.
"Thomas, wait!" Victoria yelled, but Thomas was already out the door.
✮✮✮✮
He just sat there, sitting drenched in the rain, smoking and crying. He never thought she would actually do this. He thought she was fine. She never said anything. He hoped that she didn't feel like it was her fault. It wasn't her, it was the goddamn f-
"Potrei avere un autografo?" A girl said, staring at Thomas. "Aspetta, stai piangendo?"
"Uhhh, no. Devo andare." He replied, standing up.
"Nemmeno una foto?"
"No, no. Ciao."
"Awwwwww."
Thomas broke out running to the apartment. He didn't care if he pushed people. He wanted to get home.
He ran up the stairs of the building and quickly opened the door to the apartment. All three of his friends were waiting for him, but he just ran to his bedroom without a second thought.
✮✮✮✮
NEXT DAY
"Thomas, are you sure you want to wear these?" Damiano asked, pulling Thomas from his phone.
"Cosa? Oh, uh sì." Thomas replied, looking at back at his phone.
"You should really stop looking at the comments, Thomas." Damiano sighed, sitting next to him on the bed in the hotel room.
"All I do is make an appreciation post for my dead girlfriend and people hate on it."
"People are terrible, Thomas. You got to come to terms to that."
Thomas sighed. "I know, but, I never thought Y/N would die. I-I loved her." His voice cracked at the end.
Damiano wraps his arm around Thomas, letting Thomas's head lay on his shoulder. "Puoi piangere, Thomas. Sfogati."
"Some of the fucking fans, Damiano. They're just so mean!" Thomas said inbetween sobs. "They fucking killed her."
Damiano stroked Thomas's hair. "I know, Thomas. I know."
"It should be me, not her. They're my fans, not hers."
"They're not our fans if they make fun of someone we hold so dearly. They aren't real fans."
"I'd rather be dead than her." Thomas mumbled, looking away from Damiano.
"Thomas, oh god. I-" Damiano muttered, taking his hand out of Thomas's hair to cover his mouth.
"That's a joke, I'm joking," he replied, laughing.
"I-Thomas, are you okay? Be serious with me."
"I'm fine, Dami. You gotta relax a little." Thomas shook Damiano's shoulders. "It's just a joke."
"I know Y/N's, uh, passing is hard for all of us, but it's probably extremely hard on you, I mean-"
"You don't have to worry about it, dude." Thomas murmured, playing with one of his rings. More particularly, the matching one to Y/N's. "It's hard but, I can get over it. That's what she told me to do. I always listen to her."
"Thomas, I'm always here if you need to talk to someone. You're my best friend, I wouldn't be able to handle myself if you were gone too."
"I appreciate that. Thanks, bro."
"Welcome."
✮✮✮✮
"And that's it for my questions, so I'm gonna open the Q/A up for the audience! Okay, guys?" The interviewer asked.
"That would be great, ya." Victoria replied, receiving head nods from the others. They've been here for only 15 minutes, but it felt like hours to Thomas. At least it was close enough to go back home after.
"So, 31 asks 'Are you mad some people only know you for Beggin'? It's a cover, not an original.'"
"Yes, it's a cover," Damiano started, "but we really reinterpreted it, there's a lot of us in the song. We like our own songs better, though."
"Interesting, Interesting," the reporter said, tapping her pen against her tablet.
"And next up we have 75, they ask to Thomas, 'How do you feel after your girlfriend died?'"
Thomas smoothed back his hair quickly. "I-no comment."
"Okay then-" The reporter said, flipping to the next question. "Another one asks Thomas 'How much do you miss Y/N?'"
"No comment."
"Uhhh, 83 asks you again 'Did she use you for clout or something?'"
"No comment." He replied, more firmly.
"37 asks 'Did you even love her?'"
"Can you please s-" Damiano started.
"Just shut up, for fuck's sake, shut up!" Thomas yells, pushing the chair back to stand and face the audience. "Please, Stop! You fucking killed the love of my life! Siete tutti fottuti mostri! She did nothing to hurt you, nothing! I fucking hate you all!" He quickly turns around, and kicks the chair down onto the stage.  He runs off to the side, never lifting his head up.
"Thomas, wait!" Victoria yells, running after him.
"We're done, grazie per niente, davvero." Damiano said, throwing up two middle fingers to the cameras and the audience. Him and Ethan walk over the stage, leaving the reporter and the audience stunned.
"Thomas? Thomas?" Ethan asked, trying to find where Thomas might be hiding. He heard a distant crying, and tracked it down to a corner near the door. Victoria was sitting next to a sobbing Thomas, rubbing his back while he choked on tears.
"She's gone, she's gone, and it's all my fault. I killed her, I killed her, she's dead because of me-"
"Thomas, it's okay bud. Just breath." Ethan said, crouching in front of Thomas. "Andrà bene."
"I just can't take much more. I'm just gonna kill myself."
"Thomas, please." Damiano sobbed, sliding down next to Thomas. "We couldn't make it without you."
"Yeah," Victoria wailed. "We love you."
"Everything is my fault. I should have kept her a secret. She still would've been here. I could wake up next to her every morning and fall asleep next to her every night. But she's dead. All-all because of me." Thomas shoved his head into his lap.
"Thomas, it's not your fault." Ethan said compassionately.
"You're just saying that."
"I'm not."
"I'm not listening to lies."
"Thomas, we love you. Please stop."
"I doubt that."
"For fuck's sake, Thomas!" Damiano shouted. "For. Fuck's. Sake! Stop being such an ass! We love you, stop wailing about nothing! Grow some fucking balls, you self-centered prick!"
"Damiano!" Victoria yelled, looking at him with angry eyes.
"What? He-what the fuck!" Damiano yelped, grabbing his nose. "What did you do that for?!"
"You a hundred percent deserved that." Victoria said, rolling her eyes.
"Oh, merda. Mi dispiace, Damiano. Non lo intendevo, lo giuro." Thomas shuddered, covering his mouth with his hand.
"Esso va bene, non preoccuparti. It's my fault anyway." Damiano reassured, pulling up his sleeve so he could wipe the blood off his nose without ruining the shirt.
Ethan held his hand down to Thomas, helping him up. He pulled the other boy into a hug. "Thomas, Ti vogliamo bene. Ci manca anche Y/N, ma per te è decisamente più difficile. Ti conosco, Thomas. So che puoi superare questo. Ci vorrà del tempo, sì, ma tu sei una delle persone più forti che conosco." ("Thomas, we love you. We also miss Y/N, but it's definitely more difficult for you. I know you, Thomas. I know you can get over this. It will take some time, yes, but you are one of the strongest people I know.")
"I-Grazie, Ethan."
"Welcome. Let's go home."
✮✮✮✮
They were scared to ask Thomas how he was doing. Scared he would yell or cry or run away. Scared he would actually go through with his threats. Scared of what he would do.
All four of them were sitting silently in the living room. They were too scared to say the first word. Scared of what would happen. And the silence was eating them alive.
"Why are you all so quiet? You usually never shut up." Thomas rolled his eyes.
"We-" Vic started.
"Whatever."
"Thomas-" Damiano started.
"What do you all want to tell me now, huh? What?"
"Well, we-"
"Just spit it out!"
"Thom, I'm trying t-"
"I'm done, I'm done." Thomas pushed himself off the chair and started to walk out of the living room. Damiano quickly got up and grabbed the former's wrist.
"What the fuck do you three want from me?!" Thomas ripped his wrist out from his friend's hand.
"We want to know you're okay! Seriously! Siamo tutti così fottutamente preoccupati per te!" Damiano said, tears threatening to fall.
"You don't need to protect me! Why don't you ever leave me alone!?"
"Oh, well it's always my fault, isn't it? I guess caring for you is a fucking sin!" The singer yelled, pushing Thomas so he stumbles backward.
The whole room fell into an awkward silence.  The only thing you could hear was Damiano's shaky breaths and sobbing.
"Damiano, I'm sorry." Thomas said after a few minutes.
"I know."
"I mean it, I promise."
"The thing is, Thomas," the singer cried, walking closer to the guitarist. "The thing is that you say you mean it, you say you're okay, but you're not. We're terrified that you're going to run into that bathroom and never come out alive, Thomas."
"I miss her."
"We do too, Thomas! But she said to move on. I know it's hard, but you have to! I-we can't lose you like we lost her."
"You're right." Thomas sighed, pulling Damiano into a hug. "I'm sorry I've caused you guys so much pain."
"Non preoccuparti, we're glad you're still here. Like I said, we couldn't make it without you."
"I'm so sorry, I mean it, I swear. I mean it this time."
Damiano broke the hug and held his friend's face in his hands. "We love you, Thomas. Never forget it."
"I won't."
"How about we do something fun to make you feel better? Maybe a board game?" Damiano asked, smiling.
"I VOTE ON MONOPOLY!" Victoria yells, jumping off the couch excitedly.
"The last time we played Monopoly you stole all my money." Ethan said sighing, sinking into the couch.
"YOU'RE JUST A BAD BANKER!"
"Vic, I'm literally about to eat all the metal pieces out off the box."
"NOT MY SUBMARINE!"
"Yes, your submarine."
"NO."
"Pick whatever game you want to, Thom." Damiano laughed, letting go of his friend's face.
"K."
Thomas walked out of the room, leaving the others by themselves.
"BITCH YOU WILL NOT EAT MY SUBMARINE!!" Victoria screeched at the top of her lungs.
"I'M GONNA EAT IT AND LIKE IT!" Ethan screamed back.
"SHUT THE DHGFDHJUHYGFHDJKHGBHNJSHGB UP!"
"What the fuck-"
Damiano jumped onto the couch, flopping his head on Ethan's lap. "I'm gonna eat both the submarine and the car."
"You eat the car, I eat your nose, Dami." Ethan said, lightly smacking him on the nose.
"Nose fetish," Damiano laughed.
"Ahhhh, remember that time we played Monopoly and Vic broke her thumb?"
"SHUT UR ASS UP ETHAN!" Vic screeched, rolling off the coach. "THAT WAS YOUR FAULT!"
"How was me getting the Boardwalk my fault?"
"It was," Vic huffed, crossing her arms.
"Ugh, whatever."
Damiano laughed at the two others. "Those were fun times."
"Ya, I miss them." Victoria said, sighing. "You know, I love all this fame, we've always wanted it. But some of these fans are toxic little assholes."
"Hai ragione. With Y/N and that kinda stuff. With Giorgia too, some of the fans don't like her."
"I don't even know why some of them do that," Ethan replied. "Giorgia is a sweetheart and Y/N was so kind."
"They have no life," Vic rolls her eyes.
"Mi manca Y/N. Lei stata meravigliosa. Sono preoccupato per Thom. Lei sua morte gli ha messo un tale peso. Ovviamente non lei intendeva, non sei affatto colpa sua." ("I miss Y/N. She was wonderful. I'm worried about Thom. Her death has put such a burden on him. Obviously she didn't mean it, it's not her fault at all.")
Damiano sighed, placing his arms behind his head. "We all are, Ethan. He's not doing good. Before the interview earlier, he threatened to, you know, off himself."
"What?!" Ethan's voice rose as he sat up, causing Damiano to almost fall off the couch.
"I, well, like Thomas was all like 'I'd rather be dead' and that 'it's all his fault.'"
"Why the fuck didn't you tell us that!?"
"I, well, I thought you knew! He said something like that after the interview!"
"Fucking hell, Damiano. Go check on him, please." Ethan said sighing, placing his face in his hands.
"Okay, I'm going."
Come on, Thomas. Come on, buddy. Damiano took the stairs two steps. His breath was quickening each jump he took. He couldn't lose two of his best friends in under a week.
"Thomas!" Damiano yelled, knocking on the door. "C'mon Thomas, open the door. Please."
"Dami..."
"Thomas, please open the door."
"I'm, I'm sorry, Damiano."
"Thomas, you don't have to do this."
"Tell Vic and Ethan I lo-love them, okay?"
"Open the fucking door! C'mon Thom!" Damiano began to bang on the door, not caring if it broke down.
"Y/N told me to get over it. Now I am."
"She didn't mean it like that, Thom. Please open the door. Please."
"Bye Damiano."
"C'mon Thomas." Damiano felt like he had cried a thousand tears already and felt like he was going to cry a thousand more. "Thomas, please."
Damiano hears Thomas take a deep breath, with a quiet sob escaping afterward.
"Sono fuori di testa." He said, falling silent afterward. Silence engulfed the floor, not a sound to be heard.
"Ma diverso da loro," Damiano sobbed, laying his head aganist the door. "Ma diverso da loro."
✮✮✮✮
Victoria dabbed her eyes with her jacket sleeve, with her other hand latching onto Ethan's. "We're going to be in the car, Dami. See you in a little bit."
"See you." He said, sinking down on the bench.
"Oh, Y/N. I-" Damiano started to run his ice cold hands along his tear-stained face.
"I fucking miss you. We all do. The day you died, it was a terrible day. We were all heartbroken, especially Thom. At, At least you two are reunited again." Tears started to form in his eyes.
"Things have been hard. Um, Vic was making breakfast yesterday and she, like, woke me up and then Ethan up and, well, she ran into you guys' room and she ran into it empty and she just broke down sobbing. It's been so damn hard.
"We always keep the door to your room closed now.
"She hasn't been taking it well. She put the picture frame you guys kept on your dresser next to her bed. She's trying so hard to try to move on, but it hasn't been working.
"Ethan barely shows any emotion toward the situation. I'm pretty sure he thinks that if he shows any sadness or regret or grief, Vic and I are gonna know how bad this really is.
"I miss you two so much. I missed the talks Y/N and I had, all the fun shit we got into. I miss it all.
"And the fans, that's a fun story. So remember that the Ronquières Festival we were going to go to? Ya, so we went to it. We didn't have you, Thom, of course. We got a backup for the day and you wanna know what the fans did. So after the Kiwi cover, the audience had the audacity to start chanting 'we want thom, we want thom.' You can't fucking come back and they know it.
"So I screamed at them. Ya. Um, I don't know if you like can hear or see things for heaven or hell or whatever you call the end, but here's the video from it."
Damiano pulled his phone out of his pocket. After scrolling around a bit, he turned the phone to the two gravestones and pressed play.
"Thomas is dead and you fucking know it. YOU are the ones who killed him. Not all of you guys, the absolute assholes who fucked with Y/N! You are the terrible ones! Not her! She was lovely. She was Thomas' joy. And now they are both dead. All because of you. Quindi, chiudi quella vera cazzata."
Damiano chuckled after the video, sliding the phone back into his pocket. "So yeah, that's the video. We've been everywhere. 'Måneskin Frontman Attacks Fans At The Ronquières Festival,' 'Damiano David Can't Deal With The Loss Of His Best Friend Thomas Raggi,' 'Rockstar Thomas Raggi's Death: The Real Truth.'
"The last one's all like 'He's hiding in the shadows, the youngster couldn't handle the fame!' No one knows the truth, the truth of you laying on the ground with two empty bottles. The truth that when I finally got in, you were laying face down on the floor, already dead. No one knows except me, Vic and Ethan. No one saw it except me.
"I miss you guys so much. You were so young. You had your life ahead of you. And some assholes took it away. I'm so so sorry. I'll always miss you. I really do love you guys.
"I have to go now. We have an interview with GMA. I know you always wanted to go, Thomas. You'll be there in spirit. See you tomorrow, loves. Vi amo entrambi con tutto il mio cuore."
Damiano got up off his bench and patted both headstones, kissing the tops of thems. "Ti amo davvero, ti amo davvero." He waved goodbye and slowly walked down the path.
"Dami sa che non possiamo fumare nell'aldilà? Perché è sui così stupido?" Thomas laughed, his hand passing through the pack Dami left by the gravestones.
"Tu lo ami," Y/N says, rolling her eyes.
"E ti amo davvero"
37 notes · View notes
theasstour · 4 years
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𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄 | 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 𝟐𝟎.𝟐𝐤 𝐍𝐁: 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡, 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭
A/N: Thank you so incredibly much to each one of you angels who voted for ST in the 1D Craft Awards 🥺 You continue to take my breath away with all your kindness, support and love 🐚🌊✨ ENJOYYY CHAPTER 7! x
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Saturday, 25 July
The phone vibrated against the wooden table, jolting Y/N out of her focus. She blinked a few times, looking over at Fatima who turned the timer off and looked at Y/N with expectant eyes. Y/N shook her head and Fatima’s face visibly fell.
“What you mean?”
“I didn’t finish, did I?” Y/N groaned, running her hands over her face, hiding it from view for a few seconds before she sat back in her chair and looked at her laptop in front of her. The two were sitting at Olive’s Café on Island Square, seated on lime green chairs outside, the morning sun beating down on them as each of them tried to do work; Fatima looking through the curriculum she was going to teach this coming year, and Y/N doing her UCAT work. Fatima was a teacher for fourth graders, so she knew how to make things easy to understand, how to pull things apart and study properly. When Fatima had suggested that the two of them take a day together to just study, Y/N had jumped at the opportunity. Now, they had met to do exactly this a few days in a row and Y/N was really starting to feel the effects.
The thought of the UCAT exam coming closer and closer made her want to hurl. September 10th didn’t seem that far away anymore, something that absolutely terrified Y/N. Not only did she need to be out of St Ives by then, leaving her entire life and friends here behind, but she didn’t know where she’d even be. Would she even have enough money? Would she still be in Cornwall? Would she have crawled with her tail between her legs back to Winchester, asking for forgiveness for leaving them all behind?
Fatima pursed her lips, tapping her pen against the top of Y/N’s laptop. “Is it ‘cause you’re stressing too much?”
“Probs.”
“It’s hard not to when it’s important to you.”
Y/N sighed heavily, nodding her head in agreement. “This practice exam… well, it was hard.”
“They usually are, the practice exams,” Fatima explained. “Not necessarily so to scare you, more so that you’ll be aware that this will be hard, but the actual exam isn’t that bad. They never are.”
Y/N gave Fatima a little smile. “Taken the UCAT before?”
“Obvs, I’m the smartest bitch in all of the UK, if not Europe.”
Y/N laughed, quickly sighing again as she looked down at her laptop again. This was the first practice exam she had ever taken; Fatima had timed her to see if she’d make it in the estimated time it took to complete the UCAT, but Y/N hadn’t managed to. She supposed she still had a lot of time to study and prepare herself, but it still made her feel like all her studying had been for absolutely nothing. One failure, even if it didn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things, always seemed like the most important thing in the world. How had the world not shifted? How was not everyone around her crying like she felt she should be doing?
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Y/N. I promise you’ll be fine.”
She nodded, knowing deep down that Fatima was right. The universe would balance itself out eventually, everything would be alright in the end even if her current world was crumbling right before her eyes. Maybe she was just being dramatic, maybe it wasn’t that deep and she had just not been focused enough, but Y/N felt like giving up now.
“When I feel like I’m failing at life,” Fatima started, sitting up a bit straighter in her seat. “I pick up a pillow and I just scream into it.”
Y/N blinked.
Fatima grinned.
“You just scream? How?”
“Just like you’d normally scream,” Fatima chuckled, demonstrating by pretending to pick up a pillow, burying her face in it, and silently screaming. “And after that, I feel better.”
“Like a proper scream?”
“Like you’re being chased down the street by a man in a clown costume holding an axe.”
Y/N smiled, shaking her head some. “I’ll do that when I get back to the Inn. Immediately.”
Fatima laughed just as someone came up beside them, asking the man sitting beside them if the chair opposite him was taken. When the tiny, short-haired blonde sat down beside them, she beamed from ear to ear. There was something about Ellie’s presence that just made everything better. She was so round, so small, so joyous all the time that it felt wrong to be in a sulky mood when she was around.
“I heard you’re studying,” Ellie said, perching her yellow sunglasses on the top of her head. “And by the looks of it-“ Ellie mimicked what Fatima had just done with the scream. “-It’s not going so well.”
“Y/N’s studying for that dentist test and she tried one of them practice exams, didn’t go so well.”
“Aww.” Ellie pouted. “I’ll buy you a cupcake to cheer you up. I always eat tons when I’m sad, especially sweets. Especially, especially cupcakes.”
“Thanks for the offer, but-“
“-Ima, you want a cupcake as well?” Ellie put her purse down on her chair as she got up, holding onto her card. “Or a new iced latte?”
Fatima brought a hand to her chin, pretending to think about it, making exaggerated thinking noises till Ellie blurted a “today!” that made Fatima chuckle and say, “Both please, babe.”
Ellie smiled. “Girls, you know what I think we should do after this?” She waited for a few seconds for either of them to say something, but when they didn’t Ellie went on. “Go to the beach! You can’t be sad when you’re at the beach! We’ll sunbathe, have a bit of a swim, and then go for a Cheeky V at the pub after.”
Fatima smiled a little, looking at Y/N to see if she’d be into that.
Though all Y/N wanted to do was go back to the Inn and scream into her pillow, she smiled up at Ellie. “Yeah, why not? Have a bit of a girls day.”
“Oh, my gosh, that’s exactly what it is as well,” Ellie gasped, grinning from ear to ear. “BRB, ladies, I’m getting us something sweet.” Ellie was off into Olive’s Café greeting an acquaintance loudly before she went over to talk to them. Fatima only shook her head some, turning back to the book in front of her.
“You’ll figure it out, Y/N.”
“The UCAT?” she asked, looking at her laptop again, feeling her stomach drop at the sight of the practice exam again.
“Everything,” Fatima answered with so much conviction that for a moment, Y/N almost believed her.
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“Alright, crew,” Dax called as they pulled into the farm, its lush and green landscape opening up around them. “Just warning you now, I’m gonna absolutely crush you tonight. I go for the title of champion even if it means I’m gonna have to lose some friends.”
“Sad, that,” Fatima sighed. “Seeing as you’ve never won before, what makes you think you’re gonna win this year?”
Amir turned to look at them from where he sat shotgun. “Dax, you may try to win, but we all know the former singer and frontman of Astronaut Lions will go home champion tonight.”
“You are a terrible singer, Amir. Dunno why we let you even sing,” Jo groaned.
“’Cause I’ve got a silky-smooth, delicious, fantastic-“
“-Shut up, mate!” Ellie groaned, making Jo laugh and give her a high five.
Harry stopped his van, killing the engine before Dax got up and opened the door for everything in the backseats. Y/N made sure no one could see her bum as she descended from the car, keeping her hands by her buttocks to keep her pleated lilac skirt from showing too much of her skin. She put her purse on her shoulder, letting it hang over her white crop cardigan. Music could be heard from the large barn, some awful singing streamed out from the open entrance as people walked out, laughing and carrying empty plates. The farm was just as beautiful as Y/N remembered it, now smelling of delicious barbeque and sounding of hens, chatter, and the occasional failed high-note. The karaoke night seemed to be under full way, the courtyard brimming with people, the same went for the inside of the barn it seemed.
Y/N, Fatima and Ellie fell into step beside one another as they walked over to the gate, Harry opening it for the rest, gesturing for them to walk in before him. When Y/N reached him last he gave her a little smile, eyes falling to the gravel under his feet.
“Harry!” Grace yelled, running from the grill where Uncle Tim, Jessa, and lolo stood looking at the food. “Harry, Harry, Harry!”
“There she is!” Harry bent down as Grace came running, wrapping his arms around her and spinning her around, her feet dangling in the air.
“Alright, Mr Flores?” Dax asked as he walked up to the grill, putting a hand on lolo’s shoulder. Lolo grinned up at Dax, saying something that Y/N didn’t catch as Amir let out a loud groan hitting his chest with both hands.
“Let’s go! Gonna belt Material Girl in approximately five minutes, everyone come watch to have your life changed!” Amir ran into the barn, shouting something as he met a few familiar faces inside.
“After a few pints he’ll try Gentleman,” Fatima sighed. “Someone should cover Gracie’s ears then.”
“That SL song?” Jo asked. “Nah, he better do Wiley Flow, or else I’m gonna have to challenge him to a rap battle.”
“Amir’s got no chance of keeping up with any of Stormzy’s songs,” Ellie pointed out matter-of-factly, scrunching up her nose. “Anyway,” Ellie stopped Jo before they started talking. “We’re doing Sugababes, yeah? About You Now?”
“Obvs!” Fatima exclaimed, offended that Ellie might’ve thought otherwise. “And Y/N’s joining us.”
“Oh!” Y/N raised her eyebrows, chuckling a little as Fatima wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard a Sugababes song.”
“They’re immense, aren’t they?” Ellie grinned. “I used to listen to Push The Button on repeat when I was like 12.”
“Was more of a Too Lost in You type of girl,” Y/N said, making Fatima gasp and Ellie bring a hand up to her chest.
“We’re doing Too Lost in You!” Ellie clapped her hands frantically. “Oh, my life! Legendary!”
“Of course,” Fatima smiled. “You wanna sing, yeah?”
“Let me down three ciders and I’ll be good to go.”
Jo laughed, gesturing for Y/N to follow them over to the main house where the four of them helped themselves to something to drink. Y/N glanced out of the kitchen window at the Styles-Flores family where they stood by the grill, sipping her cider. Grace sat on Harry’s shoulders, hands in his hair as she giggled at something. Harry had both his hands wrapped around his little sister’s ankles, holding her in place. Jessa was grinning at the two while Uncle Tim stood talking by the grill, asking lolo if what he was doing was alright, not having grilled this specific type of Filipino dish before. Dax stood chatting to one of Harry’s aunts, if it was Rachel or Abby, Y/N could not for the life of herself remember, but she noticed Harry’s aunt’s kids running around the grill, shouting at one another and laughing.
Y/N had never experienced a dynamic like this before. This family was so welcome, so big, so loving, and it made her happy to just watch them and know that, for a split second in time, she had been part of it. Maybe not a real part of it because this was not her family after all, but she had been touched by their warmth and been their guest for a time being. She would forever be grateful for that. Love tasted like Jessa’s lumpia, radiated like lolo’s approving smile, smelled like Grace’s hair after she had been out plucking wildflowers, and felt like Harry’s arms wrapped around her. Nothing would ever be quite like this.
“Let’s go to the barn,” Ellie said.
“I’ll just go say hi to Jessa,” Y/N announced, giving them all a smile before she walked outside and over to the grill where everyone was standing.
“Y/N!” Jessa exclaimed, opening her arms for her. Y/N grinned, walking over and doing the mano po on both Jessa and lolo. “How have you been? Don’t feel like I’ve seen you in ages.” Jessa swatted Harry’s arm, making him flinch away. “He’s keeping you all to himself, isn’t he?”
“I’ve been busy, nanay!” Harry said, furrowing his brows at his step-mum.
“Karaoke is huge in the Philippines,” Jessa explained, as she linked her arm with Y/N’s bringing her over to the grill where lolo and Tim were standing. “It is an understatement to say that Filipinos love karaoke, I daresay. Almost every Filipino home has a karaoke machine, Harry’s dad bought ours when we first moved here, but we put it out in the barn ‘cause we don’t really use it unless there’s a karaoke night, like tonight.”
“How nice, this is a tradition then? Each summer?”
“Yeah, we have a karaoke barbeque night every summer, everyone’s invited!” Jessa beamed. “It’s a fantastic way to just relax, forget about everything for a little while, belt your heart out to some of your favourite songs.”
Y/N smiled, eyes landing on the grill.
“Alright, Y/N?” Tim asked, smiling at her. “We made some tempeh for you, some Filipino barbeque sauce on it that’s out of this world. Not surprised, though, when Jessa made it.”
“Oh!” Jessa waved her hand as if to dismiss the compliment, but squeezed his shoulder. “I’m excited to see what you think. It was either tempeh or baos, thought you might like this a bit more.”
Y/N took a plate and a fork and watched as Tim put some food on her plate, thanking him once it was done. She picked up the tempeh and blew on it before she took a bite out of it, chewing it thoroughly and smiling at Jessa after swallowing.
“That’s brilliant.”
“Ahh! You think?” Jessa grinned, looking from Tim and back to Y/N, then at lolo. “Amá, Y/N liked the tempeh we made.”
Lolo smiled at Y/N and looked at her plate, nodding slowly. “You have to come and make some food with us once. You are part of the family now; we can show you our secret recipes.”
Y/N chuckled some before swallowing her bite of tempeh. “Wouldn’t say I’m part of the family, but thank you-“
“-Nonsense!” Jessa exclaimed, shaking her head furiously. “You are here, you’re making Harry happy, and since you’ve come to St Ives, the world’s been a brighter place. You’re where you need to be.”
For some reason, Y/N couldn’t quite believe what Jessa was saying. She knew it was coming from a good place, that she meant that it was nice to have Y/N there, but her family was in Winchester, she couldn’t possibly come into a new one and then ruin that one as well. This family she was visiting in St Ives would do just fine without her when she left in August. No one would miss her once she had been gone for a week, that was just a fact. Y/N was so bloody lost, she did not know what to do once her and Harry “broke up”, but she knew she would not disappoint and make any of the people around her sad, she refused.
Instead, Y/N smiled as she took the last bite of the tempeh, chewing and swallowing before she said. “Harry said something about an end of summer party.”
“Yes! I wanted to talk to you about that! Because, on the topic of food,” Jessa smiled back. “If you could give me some of your favourite vegetarian dishes, I’d love to make them for you! It would be amazing for many others to try something new as well.”
“I’d be more than happy to help out,” Y/N said, looking over at Grace as she sat on Dax’s back, the blonde man running around in circles as Harry ran after them, growling and acting like a disformed monster of sorts. She smiled a little at the sight, he looked absolutely ridiculous. How was he still cute? “I’ll bring the veggie food and I’ll show you how to make those, and then you show me how to make some Filipino dishes as well.”
Jessa placed a hand over her heart, beaming at Y/N. “You are an absolute treasure, me lover.”
Y/N smiled, eating some more of the tempeh. “When should I come and help out?”
“Are you free Tuesday?”
“Yeah, I don’t have any plans as of now.”
“Great! Harry will drive you here then. It’ll just be me, amá, Gracie, and Harry, and now you.” Jessa put her hand on Y/N’s arm, squeezing her lovingly before she turned to answer a question Tim asked her about the food he was currently grilling.
Y/N looked in the direction of Harry, Dax and Grace again, now walking towards the house. Jessa must have noticed Y/N staring in their direction because she linked her arm through Y/N’s and the two walked in the direction of the house as well.
“There’s more food inside,” she explained, grinning from ear to ear. “We do grill a lot, but Tim’s not really the best with the grill and he always insists on grilling at these gatherings, I don’t really have the heart to tell him no.” Jessa led Y/N into the dining room where she remembered all the food had been served at Grace’s birthday party. Again, casserole upon casserole stood spread over the dining table, covering it completely. Most of the dishes were all dug into, some almost completely wiped from the casseroles.
“Here,” Jessa said as she led Y/N over to the table. “I made your lumpia, there’s a few other vegetarian options as well.”
The fact that Jessa thought of this, thought of Y/N’s preference and made life a little easier for her, was so greatly appreciated that it nearly brought tears to Y/N’s eyes.
“This is biko,” Jessa explained, pointing to a casserole filled with banana leaves, a brown dish resting in it. “It’s a rice cake made from malagkit, or sticky rice, coconut milk, and brown sugar. Like other rice cakes, it is referred to as kakanin, taken from the word kanin which means rice, and is often eaten as a dessert or meryenda, meaning a mid-afternoon snack.”
“It looks lovely,” Y/N said, reaching for the spoon to get herself a slice before it was all eaten up. “Know we’re probably not set for dessert just yet, but I might just need some.”
Jessa laughed, smiling as Y/N took a bite of the biko. “What do you reckon, darling?”
“Heavenly, Jessa.”
Jessa clapped her hands together in delight, grinning from ear to ear as Y/N went in for another bite. “You have to try the buko pie next.”
“Which one’s that?”
Jessa pointed to a golden pie, not waiting for any sort of reply before cutting Y/N a small piece, placing it on Y/N’s plate. “It’s a sweet and rich pie made from young coconut meat.”
“Oh?”
“Buko pies are mostly sold in southern parts of Luzon in the Philippines. There’s this specific store down there called Collette’s that serves the best buko pie. I will never be able to replicate it, but I will try my hardest, every time I make a buko pie,” Jessa smiled. “We need to take you to Luzon, Y/N, you’d love it. Once we’ve saved up and all that.”
“This is the best buko pie I’ve ever tasted at least,” Y/N said, and Jessa laughed again looking out through the window only to sigh deeply.
“I need to go out there, it seems Tim is struggling and amá cannot be asked to help him out.” Jessa sprinted out, shouting something at Tim that Y/N didn’t catch but by the look on all the relatives standing around and Tim’s face, it couldn’t have been good. Y/N smiled a little, eating the rest of her pie before she realised she heard music. This wasn’t the type streaming out from the barn, this was coming from inside the house. And it was coming from the piano.
Y/N walked into the kitchen and placed her now empty plate on the kitchen counter before walking over to the dining room again, walking over to the doorway leading into the living room. With Grace on his lap, Harry was sitting by the piano, playing a tune Y/N had never heard before. It was both hopeful and very sad, unlike anything Y/N had ever heard before. There was no note sheet in front of him as he played, his eyes were only on the keys in front of him. Grace sometimes leaned forward and pressed a key she wasn’t supposed to, looking up at Harry while she giggled before leaning into him again, listening to the rest of the song.
“Can you play that other one?” Grace asked as Harry continued to play.
“What other one? There are quite a few, Gracie.”
“She means the one about me,” Dax grinned, standing beside the piano with his arms crossed, a massive grin on his face. “Go on, Hazza. Play that one inspired by Sexy Back.”
“Watch your mouth,” Harry hissed through gritted teeth, making his best friend laugh.
“Noooo!” Grace laughed. “The one you wrote after you, me and Y/N went to St Austell. The one about that trip.”
“Ahh, haven’t heard that one before,” Dax said, walking over to sit on the sofa beside the piano, watching the two siblings as they settled in again. Grace pressed one of the keys, looking up at Harry who smiled down at her and shook his head. He took her hand, bringing her finger over to the correct starting note, pressing it down for a long while so she’d get the feel of it. Then, he brought her to the next one, slowly playing the melody out before Grace motioned for Harry to take over for her.
What Harry produced just pressing a couple of keys at just the right moment was so breath-taking that Y/N almost felt dizzy. There was something to this melody that words weren’t ready to properly convey yet, something that was too powerful for a simple human brain to comprehend. Y/N understood why Harry wrote songs now. This melody captured that day perfectly. Her heart knew that melody. It had played that melody itself that day; it had been there with Harry while he came up with it as well.
She was thrown back to walking along St Austell, spending the day in the sunshine with two people that she had come to care so incredibly much for. Thrown back to standing side by side with Harry, talking about music, walking along the market, eating ice cream, laughing till her sides hurt. A lump suddenly appeared in her throat.
“What the fuc-“
“-Dax,” Harry said, stopping immediately. “No.”
“I’ve heard that word before, Harry,” Grace said.
“What, when?!”
“Harry, that was insane,” Dax said, grinning as he stood up from the sofa again. Before Y/N could be noticed, she stepped away from the doorway and walked outside again, feeling every inch of her chest hurting.
“Y/N!” Jo called. “Come in here!” They stood by the grill with a plate filled with food, waving her over so the two of them could walk in together.
She grinned over at Jo as she made her way over, them walking in the direction of the barn together. She waved at people she recognised – Florence from Bessie’s knitting club and Dax’s mum, was one of them. The inside of the barn was decorated with plenty of fairylights, giving the old interior a yellowish and homely glow resembling candlelight. There were small tables and chairs all around so people could sit down to eat, drink, and chat, while a huge screen was positioned by the furthest wall, two microphones attached to what looked to be a high quality karaoke machine of sorts. Jo showed the way and they sat down with the rest, it didn’t take long for Harry, Dax, and Grace to join them. Y/N got out of her chair and tapped Grace on the shoulder.
“Haven’t gotten a hug yet,” Y/N said and Grace jumped off the ground, throwing her arms around Y/N’s neck. She laughed, hugging the little girl to her for a few heavenly seconds before she stepped away. “You look nice today.”
“Nanay told me not to spill anything on it,” Grace said as she gestured at her pink, sparkly dress. “I told her I can’t promise that.”
Y/N chuckled. “You’re doing well so far, I’d say.”
“Thank you!” Grace beamed. “Anyway, Harry’s drinking that drink that makes his breath smell awful.”
“Gracie,” Harry warned from where he now sat beside Ellie, but the little girl did not appear to want to hear what he had to say.
“How can you kiss someone with bad breath, Y/N?” Grace asked and Y/N’s heart dropped at little as she thought about kissing Harry again. How they weren’t going to kiss again. How she wanted to kiss him, but not because they were fake dating. It took everything in Y/N not to look in Harry’s direction, because, judging by his little utterance of his sister’s name before, she knew he must’ve heard this as well.
“You don’t care if they’ve got bad breath if you really want to kiss them,” Y/N answered, giving Grace a smile.
Grace grimaced. “I would never kiss someone if their breath stank.”
“Don’t talk about kissing, you’re seven,” Harry said, sipping his pint.
Y/N raised her eyebrows at Grace and Grace did the same back. At Grace’s instructions, Y/N sat down in her seat so Grace could sit in her lap. Grace watched the people singing intently, sometimes singing along and nodding her head along to the music like she couldn’t help it. It was impossible not to smile at the sight of it, Y/N simply cared for this little creature so much it was hard for her to fully comprehend it. Grace, though young and Harry’s little sister, was the closest thing Y/N had ever come to a sister. They didn’t have a deep connection through thoughtful conversation, but they just understood and went along. There was an emotional and meaningful connection that, though not talked about, had appeared because they enjoyed and appreciated each other’s company.
Grace ran over to a nearby table to get herself some water, leaving Y/N sitting in the chair alone, her lap feeling oddly cold. On the other side of the table, Amir was talking loudly over the karaoke battle that had just begun.
“When I go back up to London for work in two weeks’ time, I feel like I’m just gonna make a right fool of myself, yeah? Normally takes a week for me to turn my weird off after I’ve been home.”
“Gonna be weird when you and Jo are off again,” Ellie said. “Why do you two have to work in London? Why can’t you just stay in St Ives?”
“Bit liberating to leave this place for another one every once in a while, not gonna lie,” Jo admitted, sipping their beer.
“Makes you realise all you’ve missed,” Fatima nodded. “Was the same when I came home for uni breaks, now I’m just really happy I ended up here. Might be underpaid as a teacher, but-“ Fatima shrugged her shoulders. “-I love living and working here, it’s home, after all.”
Y/N hated that she had never experienced that feeling; of coming back to something you had missed. Of coming home.
“Bum that,” Dax said. “I want my mates home at all times! I don’t care you’ve got a job!”
Y/N chuckled, the conversation around them commencing as she looked down at the table, picking at a stain on the table. Grace came back just then, but she didn’t get to sit down before Dax said her name.
“Wanna go up and sing your heart out?”
Grace squealed and took Harry’s hand. Harry downed the rest of his beer and stood up, walking with Grace, Dax, and Amir up to the karaoke machine. Y/N rested her chin in her hand, smiling as she watched the four of them discuss what song to do. It had to be an easy one that Grace already knew, it might be hard to find the correct one. They took some time to decide, but suddenly, the drums to a song Y/N recognised from Harry’s favourite’s playlist started playing. She remembered how Grace really loved that playlist.
“Uptown girl,” Grace sang into the microphone as she perched on Harry’s hip, sharing microphone’s with him. “She’s been living in her uptown world.”
Dax and Amir joined in as well, singing along with Grace who was still unsure of the lyrics but tried to read them as best she could on the screen in front of them. Harry moved them to the music, Dax throwing an arm around Amir’s shoulders as they started singing their hearts out. It was simply impossible not to smile as you watched the four of them, dancing and singing along to Billy Joel’s song.
“God,” Fatima sighed as she scooched her chair closer to Y/N’s. “I wish someone looked at me the way Harry looks at you.”
Y/N halted a little at Fatima’s words, looking in her direction as Amir, Dax, and Grace sang “And now she’s looking for her downtown man, that’s what I am”.
“Pardon?”
Fatima grinned. “Oh, you know-“ She placed her chin in her head, looking off into the distance with exaggerated doe eyes, a dreamy look on her face. For a split second, Y/N’s heart seemed to lurch out of her chest. Harry… Harry looked at her like that? He glanced at her? Surely, Fatima was not being serious and she had simply caught Harry smiling at Grace when she sat in Y/N’s lap.
Y/N laughed. “You’re taking the mick, that’s not how he looks at me.”
“Wouldn’t know, would you? Always happens when you’re not looking.”
“Harry,” Grace said, not even bothering to hold the microphone away as she spoke to him in the middle of the song. “You need to sing, the song’s for Y/N, remember?”
Y/N glanced beyond Fatima and at the group in front of the screen, a rush of adrenaline streaming through her veins. Laughter could be heard throughout the room at Grace’s words, many turning in Y/N’s direction to look at her, all with smiles and curious looks on their faces. At once, Y/N’s face seemed to be too hot for its own good. She bit her bottom lip, continued to watch the gang, ignoring the heat in her cheeks.
Harry seemed to take a deep breath before he started singing with Amir and Dax, both of them doing a miserable job of doing the song any sort of justice. Neither were impressive singers, but Y/N knew Harry was.
“Uptown girl, you know I can’t afford to buy her pearls,” Harry sang, voice so effortlessly breath-taking that Y/N felt like she was doing a pretty good job of imitating the dreamy look Fatima had demonstrated earlier. “But maybe someday when my ship comes in, she’ll understand what kind of guy I’ve been, and then I’ll win.”
Grace joined in then, wrapping her arm around Harry’s shoulder and leaning her head against his. They all continued to sing along to the song, Y/N not paying any sort of attention to the conversation between Fatima, Ellie, and Jo. She watched as the four of them cheered once they were done singing, bowing to the small applause they got before returning to the table.
“I need to go tell nanay!” Grace shouted, running off outside to Jessa and the rest of the family.
Y/N smiled at Harry as he came back, getting a tight-lipped smile back before he picked up his, Dax’s, Amir’s and Jo’s empty beer cans, walking over to get them all a new round. Grace came back with Halo Halo, placing herself on Y/N’s lap as the two ate, talking non-stop. The little one disappeared after a little while, Y/N suspected it was because it was getting rather late. As the night went on, Y/N realised that the only two that would be able to stand by the end of the night were her and Fatima. The others got very drunk, talking loudly about everything insignificant and nothing they would remember in the morning. Harry kept looking at the watch on his wrist, clearly making sure that they got back to his at a good hour so he could report at 3am. When Harry’s speech got a bit more slurred and his eyes a wee hooded, Y/N started looking out for him. Using the time on her phone, she kept an eye out, making sure that Harry returned to his cottage before then so he could sleep off most of his intoxication.
Talking amongst themselves as the rest chatted loudly, Fatima and Y/N agreed that Fatima would be the one to drive everyone home. It would be easier to drop Harry off last as this was his van, and Fatima didn’t live too far away from the lighthouse, the two then decided Y/N would sleep at her place that night, it would be nice just being the two of them. She loved how closed she was getting to Fatima and Ellie. There hadn’t really been a time before when she had made proper good friends, but everyone around that table were currently climbing very fast and very high up on her list of favourite people in the entire world. She genuinely appreciated Fatima’s help with the UCAT reading earlier that week, it had really helped her along, even though the result hadn’t been the best. That was Y/N’s fault though, not Fatima’s teaching skills.
At one point, Dax got all of them up from the table, bringing them over to the screen, telling them over and over again how they needed to do this. Y/N was unsure if they really did, but she didn’t bother telling a very drunk Dax that as he handed out microphones, telling people to share. Y/N scooted up next to Ellie, watching Harry as he put an arm around Jo’s shoulder, patting them as the two of them along with Amir watched Dax search for the song.
“We need to know what song we’re gonna embarrass ourselves to,” Amir exclaimed as Dax was taking his time typing.
“I’m not about to do a Union J song, mate,” Ellie said.
“Alright, I liked one of their songs ten years ago, Ellie!” Dax looked over his shoulder at her, a deep furrow to his brow. “Carry You is a belter!”
“It’s not.”
“Jo, back me up here,” Dax said, turning back to write something into the laptop standing there.
“Dax… don’t make us sing Union J or The Wanted or JLS or anything like that, we don’t need that,” Jo sighed.
“The fact you’re embarrassed about our boyband period in 2013 hurts.” Dax glared at Jo.
“Right, then, what’s the song we’re singing?” Harry shot in, nodding at the laptop again. “We’re just standing here lookin’ stupid now.”
“Looking stupid?” Amir tutted, shaking his head. “Couldn’t be me, mate. Model material, this is. Look like I’m straight off the runway.” He gestured at his body and Fatima feigned throwing up, making the five drunks howl with laughter.
“Ultraviolet, Stiff Dylans.”
Y/N gasped at Dax’s words, bringing her hand up to her chest as the others around just looked at her, afraid something had happened. She grinned at Dax. “That used to be my favourite song!”
This seemed to be shocking news to absolutely everyone.
“What?” Y/N raised her eyebrows. “Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging was revolutionary.”
“Too right,” Harry said. “But… were you…” He blinked a few times. “Were you even allowed to watch it? Not a film I reckon would’ve been allowed in your house.”
Y/N shrugged her shoulders. “What can I say, I used to be a rebel.”
“Yes, Y/N!” Dax grinned, giving Y/N a high five. “Now, bum God Save the Queen, this is Britain’s national anthem! Someone record this, history in the making!”
The familiar music started up and Y/N was taken back to a time when she had a massive crush on Aaron Taylor-Johnson, hiding her obsession with this film from her parents, and listening to this song on repeat. The whole gang started singing, Amir doing a horrible job of keeping up with everyone else, but it was fun to watch him get annoyed with himself for not getting it right. Involuntarily, Y/N’s eyes fell on Harry. He was singing his heart out, sounding better than everyone else, but in his drunken state he seemed to have forgotten some of the lyrics. However, everyone knew the song and it felt very good to be with people she adored, singing a song all of them knew and loved, together. She felt part of something bigger than herself in that moment.
Maybe that was why she did it. Because, looking back, Y/N did not quite know what came over her in that moment, but she loved herself for it. As the song started nearing the end, Y/N took the microphone out of Ellie’s hands and started singing at the top of her lungs, taking absolutely everyone by surprise but she did not care. Ellie started laughing and the rest joined in again towards the end, matching Y/N’s volume.
As she turned around after the song, grinning from ear to ear as she glanced at her friends, basking in their applause and cheers, she caught Harry’s eye. That crooked smile of his was on his face along with a look she wasn’t sure she had ever really seen before, maybe only once. Amusement tangled up with adoration, forming a sort of emotion that had yet to be given a word; someone on the cusp of surrendering themselves completely to the overpowering concept of love, yet still holding back in fear of the unrequited. As soon as their eyes met, Harry looked away, scratching at the back of his neck as he walked back over to their table, everyone following suit.
The time came for them all to leave and Harry gave Y/N the car keys, claiming that he was not fit to drive, though she had not needed him to tell her that. Y/N gave them over to Fatima and all of them made their way over to the van. The night sky was black, brimming with glinting stars and the moon hanging big and yellow over Cornwall, wishing them all a good night. Y/N walked over to Jessa and thanked her for her hospitality, asking her where lolo and Grace were. She explained they’d gone to bed a long time ago, lolo had probably read Grace a bedtime story and fallen asleep himself, he sometimes did that when he stayed the night at the farm.
Y/N ran over to the van, opening the passenger door to see Amir sitting there, a bag in front of him in case he should throw up on the way home. He gave Y/N a peace sign before she closed the door and opened the door into the backseats.
“There you are,” Jo said through a yawn. “Let’s go, Ima.”
“Y/N!” Harry called from further back in the van, making Dax groan and mumble a “shut up, mate” that Harry did not hear. “Y/N! My flower! Come back here, I saved us the whole back backseat!”
Y/N glanced in Fatima’s direction, only to see her friend raise her eyebrows at her, nodding her head. “He made a big fuss.”
“Y/N, come here, I want to tell you something,” Harry said, words slurring a bit. Y/N stepped into the van properly, closing the door behind her before she walked back to Harry, sitting down in the seat right beside him by the window, even though there were three seats in the far back of the car. The car jolted a little as Fatima started driving, steering the car up the gravel round and towards the centre of St Ives.
“What’d you wanna say?” Y/N asked Harry in a hushed voice, hoping he’d mimic her.
“I… I wanted to say something that’s been on my mind for a while now,” he said, whispering back to her, his face mere centimetres from her own. She felt hot all over, adoring their close proximity but also remembering the rule they had made some days ago. As they drove by the white fluorescent streetlights, Harry’s face lit up for a few seconds, making him appear almost angelic. “I’ve been thinking about it.”
“Okay.”
“It’s got to do with you.”
“Figured as much.”
Harry giggled, looking down at his hands where they rested between his legs, sliding his thumb along his other. “You’re very smart.”
“Thank you.”
“Smartest person I know.”
She couldn’t help but smile at the compliment. “I doubt that.”
He pursed his lips as he thought. “You do that a lot.”
“What?”
“Doubt yourself.” He stared back at her, moving a little closer so their sides were flush against one another. “I think you’re great. I’ve never doubted you.”
They stared at each other for a few seconds, neither knowing what to say as the world around them seemed to disappear completely. For a single moment, it looked like he was going to tilt his head to the side, almost as if he were getting ready to study her like he had done at Porthgwidden. He stopped himself, staring back at his hands.
“I don’t have any cucumber left,” Harry mumbled, this made Y/N giggle a little. “This ain’t gonna end well for me tonight if I don’t get that cucumber.”
Y/N giggled some more, bringing her hand to her mouth as Harry looked at her again, his crooked smile appearing on his face, dimple showing.
“What?”
“Doesn’t sound like you’re talking about a cucumber when you say it like that,” she said.
“What then?”
“Well… what’s kind of shaped like a cucumber?”
Harry furrowed his brows, thinking hard.
“You have it, I don’t.”
“A cock?” Harry mouthed, looking absolutely gobsmacked that Y/N would suggest such a thing, which made Y/N laugh again.
“Yeah, dildo or summat.”
“Y/N Bernadette Angelica McKay,” Harry gasped, shaking his head as his eyes fell on the road through the window beyond Y/N. “Saucy git.”
“You started it.”
“Well, you made it sexual.” Harry crossed his arms, pretending to roll his eyes to make Y/N laugh, which worked effortlessly. “Wouldn’t mind a dildo, not gonna lie.”
“Harry!”
“What?! It’s the truth!”
Y/N laughed again, watching as Ellie and Jo jumped out of the car once Fatima stopped it, waving at everyone before they started walking in the same direction. Fatima started the car over again just as Jo stumbled and almost face planted, making everyone in the van – including the two outside – crack up. Y/N settled into her own seat, looking down at her thighs as they drove off again, giggling a little to herself as she replayed Jo’s near-death experience in her head.
“I…” Harry started, and when she glanced up at him, he was smiling that very small smile back at her. It was barely there, making his dimples show ever so slightly, and it made every single butterfly in Y/N’s tummy flutter their wings madly. “I love the sound of your laughter.”
Y/N felt her heart skip a beat.
“It makes me happy.”
She knew that if she continued to look at Harry and he continued to look at her, she would just start feeling more for him. Though she knew it was inevitable, she would fall in love with him sooner or later, she wanted to slow the process out so that she didn’t end up spending too much time with him while she loved him.
“When you said you watched Angus, Thongs earlier, it kinda shocked me a bit,” Harry admitted, talking as if it was all part of his stream of consciousness. “Not that I think you’re innocent or anything like that, you don’t seem innocent- and when I say it like that it sounds weird.”
Y/N bit her lips together, trying not to laugh.
“From what I’ve heard your parents were very strict so…” Harry shrugged his shoulder, looking away from her again. He tilted his head a little to the side as he caught eye of Amir in the front. “Amir! Oi! If you throw up in my van I’m gonna murder you!”
“Shut up, Haz,” Dax groaned. “Y/N, why the fuck is your boyfriend so loud when he’s plastered? Bloody hell.”
“I’m not loud, I’m passionate.”
“About Amir not throwing up in your car?” Dax rolled his eyes. “Brilliant.”
Fatima stopped the car, shouting at Dax to get out and help Amir home. Dax slowly walked around the car and took Amir’s arm over their shoulder, the two walking off as Amir started singing a song that had been sung right before they left the farm. Fatima sat there and watched the two walk up the street, making sure they got inside Amir’s place where Dax would kip before she started driving towards the lighthouse.
The three were quiet for the last part of the drive, Harry seemingly about to doze off all of a sudden, humming Ultraviolet under his breath as they started driving up the gravel path to the lighthouse. Y/N just barely saw the light of the lighthouse before it disappeared, but did not pay any more notice to it as Harry leaned over her, glancing out the window as if to see his house. Once Fatima stopped the car, Harry reached for the seat buckle, fumbling for it in the dark before he finally got free.
“Help me inside?” he asked Y/N, making her lose her words a bit at first in surprise, but she quickly loosened her own seatbelt as Fatima turned around, about to jump out of the van as well.
“Just gonna help him get to bed, it’ll take five minutes,” Y/N told Fatima as Harry slid the backdoor open, getting out of the car.
“Ten if can force a cuddle out of her,” Harry said, chuckling a little to himself as he watched Y/N get out of the car and close the door behind her. She only raised her eyebrows at him, holding her hand out for his keys, which he gave her eagerly. She wanted nothing more than to cuddle him for ten minutes, she’d take cuddles for one minute if that’s all she got, but she knew he was only saying it in front of Fatima to make her believe them even more. He took his time walking to the front door, as if to drag the time out, while Y/N walked on inside, turning the lights on for him. It took some time for him to get his shoes off and while he did that, Y/N looked through his fridge, not seeing any cucumbers but a few tomatoes could maybe do as post-party food.
Harry put his rucksack with his camera down by the sofa, strolling over to the bathroom to do whatever he needed to do. Y/N put the tomato on the counter, making Harry a glass of water like he had made her last time and putting that along with the tomato on the dining table. Once he walked out of the bathroom, he rubbed at his eyes, giving Y/N a smile as their eyes met.
“Are you staying?”
“No, I… I’m going home with Fatima.”
Harry nodded. “You two…?”
Y/N chuckled some, feeling her cheeks get a little hot as she shook her head. “No, we’re friends. I’m kipping at hers.”
“Okay, good.” Harry nodded, biting the corner of his upper lip as he said, “I don’t like it when you’re alone.”
“Why not?”
“Because of what you said about your dad, that he was a bad man and all that.”
Y/N felt a sort of panic rise in her chest and she looked out the still open door, seeing Fatima sit by the stone fence circling the lighthouse, watching its lights. Harry yawned, lying down in his bed and glancing over at Y/N, his eyes trailing down her body. She felt herself blushing, both because Harry was staring at her like that and she did not want to talk about her dad, especially not while Harry was drunk.
“Can you stay?” His voice was soft, speaking with a meaning that went beyond the cottage and tonight.
“I’m going with Fatima.”
“I want you to stay, flower.”
She wanted to lay down next to him, slide her hand through his hair and watch as he closed his eyes, smiling ever so slightly and humming in total and utter contentment. Fall asleep next to him, feel his breath on her skin again, know that he was there to protect her if anything were to happen. She suddenly remembered how safe she had felt waking up here, how she had never slept as good as she did that single night she spent at Harry’s cottage. Never again would she feel like that, Y/N realised. Once she left St Ives in a couple of weeks, all the safeness and the sense of belonging would be ripped away from her. It would surely be like someone ripping off her arm.
Harry sat up in his bed as if he sensed a shift in the air around them, looking up at Y/N with slight worry but also a sort of desperation, silently asking her to please consider his offer. God, in that very second, it was very hard to resist him. Because when he looked at her like that, so attentive, so devoted to everything she did, she simply wanted to do nothing but lay down next to him and do what he asked. But she couldn’t, and with each passing second where they just looked at one another, the tension between them grew and she felt goosebumps up her back. She cleared her throat some.
“You wanted to tell me something earlier, was that it?” Y/N asked, wanting to get them talking about something else.
“What?”
“In the van, when I entered it, you said you had something to say, what did you have to say?”
“Oh,” Harry said as if suddenly remembering. He glanced away suddenly, scratching at the back of his neck. “No, it was… I wanted to tell you that… I know we haven’t spent much time together since the whole… since Terraland… last Saturday- so like, a week ago…”
She nodded, encouraging him to keep going.
“I’m sorry for that. I don’t… The last thing I’d ever do is hurt your feelings or make you uncomfortable.”
“I know, Harry.”
“I just…” He watched her, taking in every single one of her movements as if he would forget what she looked like when she left. “You and me, you know… we were sitting there together and… you were so pretty when we sat there at Porthgwidden, I couldn’t… I had to kiss you. Spur of the moment kind thing, I suppose.”
Y/N did not want to look at him, did not want to hear him say anything else. Had all the nice things he had said at the beach also been just “spur of the moment” then? So nothing was real? Not that she had thought it was, but that kind of just underlined it, didn’t it? She didn’t know what to think anymore, everything was so blurry, nothing seemed to really make sense. Everything was for the fake relationship, it always was.
“Y/N!” Fatima called from outside, Y/N glanced at her. “Say goodbye so we can leave!”
When she glanced back at Harry, Harry seemed to get a little desperate, not wanting her to leave just yet. But Y/N couldn’t stay.
“Y/N,” Harry said, maybe realising that what he’d said might’ve been a bit much. “I-I didn’t mean it like that.”
She gave him a smile. “We’ll talk soon, yeah?”
Harry just nodded, and she walked out the door and toward Fatima who was smiling at her. With one last glance over her shoulder, she saw Harry in the window over his dining table, looking out after Y/N and Fatima as they walked along the gravel path toward town. His hand was resting by the tomato she had laid there for him, hoping that it could somehow be a good second to his usual cucumber tradition after nights out. Y/N crossed her arms over her chest as a slight cold breeze blew past them and Fatima audibly shivered.
“Yeah, would you look at that,” Fatima said as Y/N glanced her way. “Left me out in the wind, you did. Now I’m freezing.”
Y/N laughed, nudging Fatima’s shoulder with her own. The two friends went on back to Fatima’s place, acting as two old friends would.
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Monday, 3 August
This was the first time Y/N had ever witnessed rain in St Ives since she arrived in June. It was not pouring down as one would assume after a long drought, a slight pitter-patter fell onto the grass around her as she walked along the gravel path, falling onto the hood of the yellow rain coat she was wearing. The sky was a dull grey, not something one should be worrying about, but there were a few darker clouds hovering somewhere in the horizon and she was sure that with this high of a temperature and the promise of pouring rain later on, lightning would occur as well.
Once she reached the lightkeeper residence, she knocked three times, waited a minute for Harry to open, then peeked her head in when he didn’t. Harry was sat by the dining table, looking through an instruction manual in front of him, frowning down at the pages as if he was reading a language he did not understand. At the sound of the door opening, he looked in Y/N’s direction, giving her a little smile.
“Saw you approach just now,” he said before looking down at the manual before him again.
“So you didn’t bother opening the door for me?” she asked, smiling over at him, but Harry did not answer. This was what she had been afraid of.
Ever since the karaoke and barbeque night at the farm, Harry had not met her gaze. Whenever she had come over to study, he wouldn’t spend too long in the cottage with her and he would rarely make her tea as he usually did. There was something not subtly cold, but different. He still welcomed her to sit in his windowsill and would still talk to her, but he wouldn’t look at her, wouldn’t stay around for long enough so they could talk properly. Y/N had tried, even suggested they go down to the Bakery to buy a pasty and walk around St Ives, go to the Candy Shoppe, or to the pub to have a few pints, but Harry had turned down all her offers, told her they could do it another time. He never really gave an explanation for why he didn’t want to hang out and Y/N was afraid of asking for one. But they had to talk. She didn’t want to go on like this, especially when Harry had come to mean so much to her.
“What’re you up to, then?” She took her coat and boots off, walking over to where Harry was seated by the dining table.
“I’m about to change the bulbs before it starts getting dark out and the lamp’s turned on,” he explained, furrowing his brows as he ran his finger over the page, concentrating on reading a specific line. Y/N stayed silent as not to disturb anything. He got up from the chair, sipping the last of his tea before he shoved the manual down in the back pocket of his denim shorts. He slipped his red knitted jumper over his Elton John tee shirt, the same one he had given to Y/N to wear after Dax’s birthday party when she slept over for the first time.
“Can I help?” she asked, giving him a smile she hoped he’d lay his eyes on her to see.
And he did, lips parting a little as if he was surprised by the suggestion. This puzzled Y/N as she had always expressed her willingness to help him, no matter what.
“Go on, then.” Harry nodded. “Just needed a cuppa before I started, it’s well past 6 after all.”
“You’re going to bed soon?”
“Yeah, and the lamp gets turned on in about an hour.”
Y/N smiled as he walked past her. “You’ve been procrastinating all day, have you?”
“Not all day.”
She laughed and she thought she saw the flicker of a smile on Harry’s lips at the sound.
“I’ve done other things as well, but I need this done now and quickly.”
Y/N nodded, putting her rain boots back on as Harry got his trainers on, the two then jogging in the direction of the lighthouse as not to get soaked in the rain that was starting to fall harder around them. Harry held the door open for her, then locked it once they were both inside. They started their ascent, Harry leading them past his little office floor, past the bedroom like room, up and up and up, till they finally reached the bell room. Even though Y/N was wearing a short white sundress with her green oversized boxy high-neck jumper along with her mid-calf black rain boots, she walked up the ladder leading to the bell room. She remembered how she had been reluctant to walk up wearing a dress that first time, but now she didn’t really care. Harry needed to change the bulbs and she said she was going to help.
Along the way, Harry had brought a toolbox with him, placing it up on the floor of the bell room before he walked up the ladder, letting Y/N go on up after him. For some reason it shocked Y/N when she came up to see that the lamp – the only thing inside the bell room – was not moving. She had imagined that the light in lighthouses moved around, and though Harry had explained what offshore and shore-based lighthouses were, the pattern of a lighthouse and the like, he hadn’t really explained how the lamp worked.
“It doesn’t rotate,” she said, walking up to the relatively small lamp in the middle of the room.
Harry was rummaging through his toolbox, stopping momentarily as he glanced over his shoulder at Y/N, unsure what she was referring to first, then let his eyes fall to the lens. “It flashes.”
Y/N furrowed her brows, walking around the lens to get a good look at it, studying the ridges and different colours of it, blank and red. “flashes?”
Harry pulled a screwdriver out of the toolbox and started working on the screws around the lamp. “It’s to identify it when it’s dark out, sailors can’t make out the white lighthouse when it’s night-time.”
“Makes sense.”
“Most lighthouses, especially shore-based ones like Clodgy, rhythmically flash or eclipse their lights to provide an identification signal. The particular pattern of flashes or eclipses is known as the character of the light, and the interval at which it repeats itself is called the period.” Harry tipped the plastic lens to reveal the five lightbulbs under it; Y/N was surprised to see it wasn’t made of glass. She supposed it was more convenient. “Essentially, a lighthouse may display a single flash, regularly repeated at perhaps 5-, 10-, or 15- seconds intervals. This is known as a flashing light. Clodgy is one of them.”
“What are these then?” Y/N asked, pointing to the red streaks.
“Basically, if someone is on sea and they are driving in the direction of sharp rocks or land, they’ll see a red light flashing instead of a normal, yellow one.”
“Danger, danger.”
Harry reached into his pocket, pulling out a box and putting it on the little space underneath the lamp.
“How many bulbs are there?” Y/N asked, looking at the different ones all attached to a round object in the middle of the lens.
“Five, they usually don’t have to be changed out. You gotta do so every 15-25 years, depending. This little thing-“ Harry pointed to the small bulb between them. “Lights up 15 miles using these lenses. It’s incredible.”
Y/N looked up at Harry, seeing a tiny and amused smile on his face as he talked. This was the most she had heard him talk in over a week; it made her heart do a silly fluttery thing.
“When one of these five bulbs go out, the apparatus knows that the bulb no longer works and it will rotate and-“ Harry placed his finger on the side of the bulb, rotating it to the right so that the apparatus turned, clicking as another bulb fit into place at the top. “-Click to a new bowl, it’s on automation and all that. So, we rarely change the bulbs.”
She bit her bottom lip as she watched him, not able to help herself. It was just so endearing to watch him like this, so amazing to hear him talking so unfiltered to her again. Right then, talking about bulbs and apparatuses and what not, he was so engulfed, so eager to tell her everything, that he did not care how he sounded. He was comfortable. She could tell.
He must’ve noticed how he rambled off, because he cleared his throat and stood up straight again, running a hand through his hair as a slight pink colour appeared in his cheeks. He quickly started to change the first bulb, putting a new on in its stead. Y/N just watched him, finding the sound of Harry working, the slight clicks, the quiet patter of the rain against the windows surrounding them, very relaxing. He seemed to be relaxed as well, so she thought this might be the best time as any.
Inhaling slowly, she leaned her hands on either side of the slight counter the lamp was standing on. She looked over it at Harry, his bottom lip between his teeth as he put the second bulb in its new place.
“Harry, we…” she started, swallowing thickly. “We need to talk about… things.”
Harry sighed. “Yes. Yes, we do.”
Knowing he felt the same way about that made it easier to breathe for a reason. At least she wasn’t going into this the same way she had been going into the Emilia situation after Dax’s birthday.
He started on the third bulb as he started talking, beating Y/N to it. “I, uhm… I want to tell you about my dad.”
This came as a shock to Y/N who was left raising her eyebrows at him for a second or two before saying, “Yeah, alright.”
He glanced up at her over the lightbulb. “You didn’t see it coming?”
“We’ll talk about your dad first,” Y/N gave him a reassuring smile. “We have time. We’ll always have time.”
“But that’s the thing…” Harry trailed off, switching out the fourth bulb, not meeting her eyes. “We don’t. If there’s one thing we won’t always have, it’s time. There won’t ever be enough time spent with your loved ones, there just won’t. No matter how much time you spend or how much time you spent with someone, you’ll always want more time. Always. What you got is never enough.”
The rain outside fell a little harder against the windows of the bell room, the wind a little harsher.
“Two years ago, my dad went on a fishing trip. He usually did this, took a few of his mates and then set off out wherever. They were never gone for more than a day tops, they always returned at night with tons of fish and I remember how Jessa would be so delighted and then invite our whole family over for barbecues and the like.” He paused as he started on the fifth and last bulb. “One day, September 4th to be exact, he didn’t return. Jessa and I sat up for hours waiting for signs of him. She started calling the spouses of the others on the boat, no one else had returned either.”
Y/N absolutely hated that she knew where this was going but she hadn’t told Harry that yet.
“Dax ended up sleeping at the lightkeeper house with me for a month and some after that, just didn’t want me to be alone, you know? He’s sound like that.” Once he was done putting the bulb in place, he reached for the lens and put it back where it belonged. “I think most of my mates and the people in my family’s life tried to keep our minds off it, ‘cause the more days went by, the more likely it was that… you know… he was dead.”
Harry sighed, reaching for the screwdriver, taking a little pause in talking as he screwed everything back into place. Y/N took a few steps back, watching him do his job and make himself ready to talk again.
“The boat was found October 14th, no one and nothing was in it.” Harry still wouldn’t look at her, put the screwdriver back in the toolbox and kept his back to her for a few seconds before turning around again. The bell room was starting to get relatively dark; she supposed the light would turn on soon, and she could barely make out the slight glassy expression in Harry’s eyes.
“I went absolutely mad. There are big chunks of time that I don’t even remember from that time, my brain has just… erased it from my memory, it was the darkest period of my life. They didn’t find any of the passengers’ bodies, there were three of them as well. It had been a turbulent and stormy night, so a sea storm took them out, drowned them all. But I… I…” Harry inhaled hugely, breathing shakily. “I didn’t… I still kinda don’t want… want to believe it. My dad is laying somewhere, far away from me, far away from Jessa, Gracie, from… from home…” He looked down at the ground, blinking rapidly. “It doesn’t fucking feel real. It’s not supposed to happen. This… He was a good sailor; he didn’t drown at sea.”
Y/N felt something starting to sting behind her eyes, she bit her bottom lip to stop it from wobbling. The storm outside seemed to pick up, sounding rougher than a minute before.
“I took over after him because I thought… I thought that, if no one else could, I could help him find the way home. I could shine that light; I’d take care of the lighthouse till he came back home. I’d show him the way, I’d light up the path for him, and he’d come home to me again. Where he belonged, where he should’ve been all along.” He took a deep breath, slowly looking up again, eyes falling to the lamp in the middle of the room. “It was a way for me to ignore the fact that he was truly dead. He wouldn’t come back. I didn’t really… I didn’t realise how… I didn’t realise how true it was that my dad, my constant, was gone, until Emilia left as well.”
Y/N furrowed her brows, a sort of rage filling her again. She had never been this angry before. There was something burning inside her, a sort of desire to protect Harry from everything evil in the world. No one deserved to hurt, but Harry least of everyone.
“I met Emilia at one of Astronaut Lions’ gigs the year before. I remember standing at the bar and she came up to me, asked me if I was Amos’ son – that’s my dad’s name, by the way - to which I said yes, and she told me her dad used to lend my dad and his mates his fishing boat sometimes. My dad and hers knew each other. So, we got talking, and, I want to say it’s ‘cause our dads knew each other, we got pretty close, pretty fast.”
Talking about Emilia brought Y/N’s gagging reflex into full force, but she composed herself.
“When my dad died, she was around, but not as often as Dax, Amir, Jo, Fatima, Ellie, or my family. She visited and stuff, kept me occupied, but the gang spent a lot of time at my place, occasionally rotating. It was nice, I didn’t want to be alone. I love being alone, but I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts then.”
Harry leaned against the window, eyes falling to the floor. Y/N continued to stand where she had, watching Harry carefully.
“We had been together for a year and some then. We hadn’t really fought much, I don’t really like confrontation, it makes me very uncomfortable, so I usually just let her say what she wanted to say if she was annoyed with me and didn’t bother arguing. Fatima kept telling me how unfair it was on her and our relationship, and also on myself, that I never really stood up for myself when we fought. It’s, like… I wanted it to work out so much that I wanted to ignore the things that didn’t. I didn’t want to do something that might cause us to break up.” He sighed heavily. “We were good for each other, we did have some good times, and she was my first ever proper girlfriend that broke my heart, but… but these last few weeks I’ve come to realise that she never really wanted what was best for me the way all my mates did.”
Y/N wanted to walk over to him and hug him. She wanted to console him; tell him she was there if he needed anything.
“I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about that part of my life, you know? I’m aware that breaking up with someone ‘cause they’re bad for your mental health is valid, but what she did really affected me. It made the grieving process worse. I had never really felt truly alone till then.” He furrowed his brows some. “I didn’t have dad; I didn’t have Emilia… I knew I had my mates, but… Emilia and dad meant so much to me, losing them both in such a short period of time… broke me.”
Y/N swallowed a lump in her throat, hoping he couldn’t hear how sad his story made her. “Harry, you don’t have to elaborate if it’s hard for you.”
“No, you deserve to know. Emilia’s back, you’re my… my supposed girlfriend and you… I want you to know.”
Y/N nodded, clutching at the hem of her jumper.
“I know it was a naff move on my part when I went with her to get her that cup, I know I should have understood why you were rightfully upset right away, I know I shouldn’t have been too friendly when she came to Terraland…” Trailing off, he balled his hands into fists at his sides. “The reason why I’ve been so reluctant to push her out of my life is… I know it’s fucking mental; I know I sound right mad, yeah? But… I figured that if she could return, then maybe… then maybe dad…” Harry didn’t finish, but he didn’t have to.
Y/N shook her head as the only thing in the bell room that was audible was the sound of the rain and wind outside, sounding eerie and strong against the top of the lighthouse. “It’s not mental. It’s a very valid and normal reaction to grief, clinging onto the last shred you have of someone, hoping that one day they might come back to you.”
Harry looked at her feet, not ready to meet her eyes yet.
“My dad and I have never been close. I used to love being around him when I was little, I remember associating him with goodness and warmth. He would play with me and make me laugh, do things that my mum hated him for.”
“Like?”
“Throw me in the air, let me jump from a bunk bed and onto the mattress on the floor below, that sort of thing.” Y/N almost smiled at the memory. She hadn’t thought about that in ages. “However, as I grew up, my dad just got colder. He was still nice to me, was still protective and a dad, but he wasn’t the same.”
Y/N could tell by the slight breath Harry inhaled that he wanted to ask what changed but stopped himself. She was grateful he did. She could not go that far just yet.
“But… though it’s not the same as you, I respected my dad’s wishes to stay in Winchester and do as my mum; become a stay-at-home mum who didn’t need education or anything like that. He wanted me to marry well and learn how to be a mum; learn how to be safe at home and mostly indoors at all times.” She furrowed her brows some. “I believed him when he told me I wouldn’t be fit to become a dentist.” She paused for a moment. “You know when you’re scared, and you believe every word your parents say to you ‘cause you don’t know what else to do? They’re older, wiser, got more experience, so of course they know better than you, they know the best thing to do in any given situation.”
Harry nodded slightly.
“Before… Before I came to St Ives, I hadn’t really parted from my family at all. It wasn’t really like I had a choice. They were just always there, and I was expected to be there, too. I was terrified when I left; not only didn’t my parents know I was leaving, but I had just disappointed them in every way possible anyway, so I… I couldn’t stay there.” Her eyes fell on the lamp that yet hadn’t turned on.
Harry cleared his throat, eyes still on the lens in the middle of the room. “Your parents don’t know you’re here?”
“They do now.”
“You told them?”
Y/N felt her heart pick up its speed, she swallowed thickly, continuing to avoid Harry’s eyes. “What I’m trying to get at is that I haven’t, and probably won’t, tell them about the UCAT, or the fact that I’m trying to become a dentist. Part of me wishes that I did, but I know the reaction I’m gonna get… And the other part of me… That part is longing for that loving and warm father to return, the one that helped me fly when I was little.” She leaned against the window. “It’s not the same as you by any means, but it’s-“
“-It’s just as valid, Y/N.”
She shook her head some, looking out at the tall waves below. “You ever get the feeling that, no matter what, you won’t really be good enough, and you settle down with that thought? It’s not this hopeless feeling, but rather you’re just… content with that. You’re average so you’ll get average back.”
“You’re not average.”
She looked over at him, and for what seemed like the first time that day, their eyes met.
“Did your parents make you feel that horrible about yourself?”
Y/N crossed her arms. “In what way?”
“That you were average? Not destined for good things? That you didn’t deserve proper happiness?”
“I was satisfied with life in Winchester.”
“Satisfaction and happiness are two vastly different things.”
It seemed like he wanted to take a step forward but stopped himself, taking a deep breath before settling against the window again. Y/N pushed slightly away from the wall, standing closer to the light.
“It’s like the whole thing with me and Emilia again, innit? There were times when I was happy with her, but I think that’s more to do with the fact that I knew she was there. I could always rely on her. But bottom line is that being with her didn’t bring me instant and constant happiness like-“ He stopped himself, as if remembering there were things he wasn’t supposed to say. “She didn’t make me happy like she should’ve. I was satisfied.”
“Isn’t being at peace good? If someone or something brings you peace, isn’t that good?”
Harry shrugged his shoulders some. “There are different kinds, though. Your life and the people in it should be able to make you feel something, you know? Not being excited to see someone or to be somewhere or to do something, it does nothing. You don’t grow if you’re satisfied ‘cause you’re not moving, you’re not evolving.”
“Being happy isn’t a constant, though. You can’t always be happy, sometimes you’re just… not.”
“How boring would life be if you felt the same way, did the same things, saw the same people every single day? How boring would it be without change?”
Y/N felt herself smiling. “You’re a lighthouse keeper, you do the same things every single day.”
“I don’t, though,” he said. “I might be stuck here in St Ives most of the time, but I never do the same thing every single day. And besides…” He trailed off, biting his bottom lip some. “Besides life’s been anything but ordinary lately.”
Y/N glanced at her arms in front of her. “I… I hated change.”
“You don’t anymore?”
“To a degree,” she said. “I’m happy with the decision I made to leave my old life behind, but now… now I don’t really know what to do. I’m going to apply for University, but what if I’m too old? I’m 25, way older than everyone else there will be, and I… I dunno. I feel like I have to figure myself out all over again now that I don’t have my parents around me anymore, it’s like I don’t know who I am. Once this summer is over and I leave St Ives – ‘cause St Ives, you, and everyone here, are genuinely what’s keeping me together right now – I… I dunno how I’m going to survive. Will I have myself when I don’t even know who I am? Is it too late for me to get a fresh start? Who- Who will be there to help guide me in the right direction if I have no one in my life?”
There was no trace of hesitation as Harry said, voice deep and low, “You’ll always have someone.”
“Will I? I feel lost, Harry.” She blinked a few times, hoping to prevent possible tears from falling. “I’m so lost. Where do I even go from here? I don’t and can’t go back to how life used to be, where do I go?”
“Don’t go.”
She glanced up at him, the lamp beside them suddenly coming to life with a massive blink. Though the suddenness of the light had scared her, Harry’s words had been what got her heart racing. The light blinked in the direction of the sea, the other side from where they stood so Y/N couldn’t see it directly, only the dark back that was facing the mainland. However, she could not care less for the light as Harry stared back at her, right into her eyes, for the first time in what seemed like forever. She felt herself relax at the sight of him, but his words still reverberated through her head, making it spin slightly.
“What?”
“Don’t go,” he repeated, stepping away from the window. “Stay.”
Her arms fell to her sides. “You… You want me to stay in St Ives?”
It took a few seconds, as if he was building up the courage to say something he thought was obvious, but, seemingly, not so obvious to Y/N. “Yes.”
“But I…” She trailed off, blinking a few times as if she were trying to regain composure. “You’ve never said.”
“’Cause I’ve always been afraid of your reaction.”
“My… my reaction?”
“If it would scare you.”
“Why would that scare me?”
“’Cause someone telling you they care for you more than… more than they care for anyone else, and you not feeling the same way… I don’t want to scare you.”
Y/N was sure she had not heard him right. And if she had, she must have misinterpreted his statement, because surely he had not just said what she thought he said. The light blinked its usual pattern, lighting up the darkening bell room as the two just stood staring at one another.
“I thought you only felt like that for Emilia.”
Harry frowned, shaking his head as if what he’d just heard was absurd. “Emilia?”
“Well, then… then that you used to feel like that for her, that you two used to be close. I’ve been jealous of that, after all.”
“You’ve been jealous?” Harry’s eyes were wide, intently staring at Y/N as she continued to explain. “How do you mean?”
“Dunno…” Y/N said, knowing that she probably sounded like an absolute plonker. “You’ve always seemed pretty caught up on her. That you still have feelings for her.”
He studied her, mouth falling shut as he let his eyes scan her face, saying a soft, “I don’t.”
“But- But why do you blush when she’s around, then?”
At the mention of him blushing, a red colour appeared in his cheeks and he glanced away for a few seconds, running his hands through his hair. Y/N could not help a small smile on her lips, biting at the corner of her mouth to stop herself from doing so.
“I get flustered, don’t I? It’s not like I can help it,” Harry explained, gesturing at his face as he took a few steps forward. “She’s my ex, it’s weird being around her.”
“You act so shy, though. Isn’t that how you are around people you’re nervous in front of?”
“I acted like that with you as well, did you notice?”
Y/N felt a breath hitch in her throat, something about Harry admitting this made her entire body hot. Part of her did not believe this could be true, it was just too good, while the other urged her to keep going, see what happened next. She shook her head slightly. “I-I dunno.”
“I was so bloody nervous,” Harry said, chuckling a little to himself. “It was genuinely hard for me to form sentences ‘cause I didn’t want to make a right twit of myself, yeah? I just… I wanted to impress you so bad, but it was so hard.”
She pressed her lips together, heart hammering hard, hands feeling clammy with anticipation.
“I’m not nervous around you anymore, though.”
“You’re not?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I feel safe with you now. I don’t care that I make a fool of myself ‘cause you won’t mind.”
She smiled a little. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He gestured around him with a soft jerk of his chin. “You’re a light room.”
Y/N wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but stopped herself when their eyes met again. She wanted to walk to him, to be near him.
“It’s like…” Harry started, pausing for a few seconds before he went on. “It’s weird being around someone you thought meant a lot to you and you realise they didn’t. But with you… that’s…” He glanced at the ground again, tugging at the hem of his red jumper. “It’s different.”
She continued to just look at him, afraid that if she said anything he would stop.
“It’s… it’s like I… like-“ He cleared his throat, suddenly blushing uncontrollably, and it was as if he knew how ridiculous he must look because he let out a small laugh. “You were the prettiest woman I’d ever seen and I wanted to impress you, I didn’t want to embarrass myself and have you not want to be around me anymore.”
His eyes fell to her feet, moving up over her bare legs, landing on her tummy as he continued to find the words lost somewhere within him. He took a deep breath.
“I’m not good with words, so explaining how much you mean to me is hard, but I know that I… that you…” He drifted off again, meeting her eyes. “You were the person I wanted to be in the arms of at Terraland, when I was all shaken up ‘cause of that ride, not Emilia, no one else but you. And you’re the only person I want to be in the arms of right now, tomorrow, and probably every single day after that. I like it when you hold me, when you’re around. That’s all I know.” His eyes fell to her lips for a second, meeting her eyes as if he remembered that was forbidden territory. She had said as much. “I like it when we touch, everything seems at once much simpler but also so much more important and grander because of you.”
Biting her bottom lip, Y/N walked closer to Harry, and at the sight, he took two more steps closer as well, meeting right beside the lamp that was still occasionally lighting up the bell tower and the entire coast along with it. Standing right there in front of one another, something that could only resemble magic passed between them and circled around them, drawing them closer to one another. They were meant to be close, meant to be right here, with one another. It was wrong to be anywhere else than with Harry. She didn’t feel as lost when he was here; there was a sense of reason, of purpose, when they were together that was so great to the point of invention, there was no other way of explaining it. This, what was between then, was beyond anything. Limitless, unfathomable, immeasurable; infinite.
“I want to touch you,” Y/N said, her voice almost a whisper as she, once again, glanced at his lips.
“Touch me. Please.”
Slowly and gentler than she had ever been before, she placed her hand to his cheek, thumb stroking over the slight stubble before she slid the tips of her fingers to the back of his jaw and then forth again. He closed his eyes, leaning into her.
“Please, touch me,” he repeated, the breath of his pleading words falling against her hot wrist. “Never stop.”
She studied his face, loving the calming effect she had on him because it matched the one he had on her. Though he made her heart race and had her overthinking everything, he calmed her down and made her feel at peace. Exhilarated her and confused her; overwhelmed her and elated her. He made her feel everything all at once, and Y/N thought at last, wasn't that what love really was? When you felt like the feelings inside your body transcended everything, made you see everything around you in a new light? When it changed your world for the better?
Y/N’s hand slid down Harry’s cheek and his neck, and at the change, he opened his eyes to look at her again. She took another step forward, leading him toward her as her eyes fell to his lips, meeting his eyes as they hovered dangerously close to one another. The light blinked on and Y/N pressed her lips against Harry’s. They melted into each other instantly. Harry placed one of his hands to her neck and the other one to her hip, bringing her closer. She breathed against him, the rest of the world around them disappearing completely as they drew out the kiss.
His tongue traced her bottom lip, making a shiver run up her spine. Gently, she slipped her tongue into his mouth, making sure she did not overwhelm him, that it was okay. He instantly complied, stroking his against hers, swirling his around hers sensually, lighting Y/N on fire. She moaned into him, gripping at the hair at the back of his neck as their mouths opened wider, welcoming more of the other to enter and entrance them completely. She ran her other hand over his chest, wrapping it around him, while Harry’s slid down along her back, stopping just before he reached her bum, squeezing her a little as if he wasn’t mentally ready to go down there just yet tonight. The bell room continued to illuminate up, shining its guiding light out across the ocean, helping sailors home and to their final destinations. However, neither Y/N nor Harry could even remember where they really were as they continued to kiss one another. She felt his moan on her tongue, a slight whimper that he had not been able to hold back as they deepened the kiss. They instantly got more frantic; desperate, harder. She pushed against him more forcefully, wanting to taste and feel all of him.
For an instant, and what felt like for the first time since they had known each other, Harry took control. He pressed her against the bar with the lamp, keeping one hand on her neck, thumb at her chin, and the other on her waist. She gasped at the suddenness, her entire body aflame as Harry kissed along her jaw, tilting her head as to get better access. She could not help the contented sigh that left her lips, pushing him even closer to her, wrapping her left leg around his right one as to ensure he did not step away from her.
He whispered her name against her neck, leaving wet kisses along the skin that was exposed and that he could reach without removing the high neck of her jumper. He kissed the tip of her jaw, sucking lightly, and she could not hold back her whimper. It seemed to have had an effect on him that she herself had not anticipated, yet absolutely adored. Between them, pressed against her tummy, she could feel him. It seemed to have startled him as well, maybe not having anticipated it to happen that quickly, but he kissed along her neck again, seemingly not really caring anymore. He wanted her to know just how much power she held over him. He came back to her face, lips hovering above hers. They panted against one another, not letting each other go as the rain outside picked up, thunder rumbling in the distance, and the light that Y/N was pressed up again kept lighting up the ocean ahead.
“I, uhm…” Harry stared down, swallowing thickly. “I’m sorry ‘bout… that.”
Y/N smiled, shaking her head slightly. “Don’t apologise for that.” She brought her leg further up, twining it more around him to bring him closer. As if it was instinctual, Harry reached for her thigh, helping her bring it up to his waist. She let out another sigh, loving how he drew closer to her in the process of yanking her leg up higher. Their eyes met again, and she leaned her forehead against his.
“I thought we agreed on a ‘no kissing rule’,” Harry mumbled, lips brushing against hers as he spoke. “I thought you didn’t want to kiss me.”
“I want to kiss you; I just don’t want it to be part of our fake relationship.”
“This has nothing to do with that.” He moved to kiss her again and spoke against her lips. “I need to ask you, though, before anything more happens.”
She watched him, the sight of him slightly blurry but she did not care.
“There’s… There’s a bed… downstairs if you'd be interested in… you know…”
She smiled.
“In what?”
Harry smiled, giggling a little as he leaned his forehead against hers again. “I don’t want there to be mixed signals, so I’m just… I’m just gonna fucking say it.”
“Say it.”
He gripped her knee tighter. “Do you want to have sex with me? ‘Cause I… I mean, it’s not the sexiest way to go about it, just asking like that, but I… it’s very obvious that I would like- very much like to… you know, if you’d like. I don’t want to-“
She chuckled and Harry stopped talking, smiling at her. “I think asking is very sexy. Mixed signals aren’t sexy.”
“You’re right.”
She leaned in, pressing a light kiss to his lips.
“Flower,” he mumbled, voice rasping ever so slightly, making heat instantly pool between her thighs. “Would you let me make you feel good?”
“Do you think you can?”
Harry met her eyes, a crooked smile coming to his lips. “I’ve had no complaints before.”
“No complaints from Emilia?”
A slight furrow appeared between his brows before it lifted, his smile came back and it got wider. “You really were jealous of her.”
“She got to be close to you.”
“Well,” Harry said, eyes fluttering to her lips. “You’re close to me now. You’re closer to me than anyone’s ever been before.”
Y/N squeezed him closer, biting her lip before she said, “Yes.”
“You… you want to go downstairs?”
“Yes.”
Harry’s smile grew so wide it was hard for him to fight just how giddy he was getting at her words. He stepped away from her, taking her hand in his. They left the blinking bell room, climbing down the ladder, Harry securing the hatch before he turned to face Y/N again. Once they were in the near darkness of that room, they kissed again, desperate to feel one another again. This happened almost on every single floor – pressing each other up against a wall, needy to feel, to taste, to be close – as they could simply not help themselves.
Once they reached the floor, Y/N instantly recognised the door and where they were headed. On her first trip to the lighthouse, she had seen a bed in that room, the door had been half open, but Harry had closed it on their way down. Now, Harry opened it for her, letting her inside. It was tiny. A twin bed stood at the far end, its white sheets made neatly over it, while the desk – which stood perched right under a small window that was being attacked by harsh rain - was filled with photographs of Harry’s family. Him, Amos, Jessa, and Grace. There was a dresser with a vase on top, a bouquet of dead flowers in it that it seemed Harry had forgotten completely about.
Harry closed the door behind them. “This used to be my dad’s room. When it was stormy, he’d stay in here. The door sometimes opens on its own, logically I know it’s just a draught, but…” He shrugged his shoulders and Y/N knew what he meant.
Instead of focusing on that – because they could talk about this in the morning – Y/N said, “Kiss me.”
Harry wasted no time. He marched over to her, pressing his lips hard against hers as he started walking her backwards toward the bed. He let her lay down first, taking her rain boots off before she wiggled up to the top, watching as Harry crawled his way up to her, hovering his lips over hers as to tempt her. She tried to lean up to kiss him since he was taking too long, but he moved further away.
“Twat.”
He chuckled, grinning down at her. “How long do you think you can stand not kissing me?”
She brought her hand up to his neck, bringing him down towards her lips. They kissed again – finally. She felt Harry smile against her lips.
“Needy.”
“You were taking too long.”
“You just can’t get enough of me, can you?”
She wanted to roll her eyes at him, but he was correct. She wrapped her legs around him, bringing his core down onto hers. Harry groaned into her; his erecting cock pressed against her heat. He melted into her instantly, burying his hands in her hair.
“Neither can you,” she whispered back, making Harry let out a breathy chuckle.
“I also just want to make it clear,” he said against her lips. “If anything I do is not working, doesn’t do anything for you, doesn’t feel good, or if you want to try something new, a new position or anything like that, tell me, yeah?”
She smiled, nodding her head as they kept kissing. “Yeah. Same goes for you.”
“Do you have a favourite position?”
Y/N froze a little, thinking to herself and blushing when Harry looked down at her.
“What?” he asked.
“I’ve… only ever really done two.”
“Two… positions?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s fine, did you enjoy them?”
“Yeah, I did. Sex was never really been about enjoyment as much as it was about closeness.”
Harry furrowed his brows. “You should enjoy sex, Y/N.”
“I know, I know. I just… I used to set fire to myself to keep others warm. I realised that was not what I should be doing, which is why I ended up in St Ives. With you. Here.”
Harry leaned down again, pressing a lingering and deep kiss to her lips. “You will enjoy yourself and feel real fucking good tonight, yeah? We’ll find something that works for both of us.”
She smiled. “Time will tell.”
“What do you mean?”
“If I’ll feel real fucking good.”
Harry halted a little as he heard that word slip from her lips. He had never heard it before. She felt the effect it had on him against her. “I’ll show you, flower.”
He reached down to the hem of her jumper and the two got it off her, throwing it to the floor before they started kissing again. She wrapped her legs around him again, resting her heels at the top of his bum, urging him closer to her. Slowly and deliberately, Harry grinded against her, revealing them both of a small fraction of pleasure, increasing the anticipation that was building in the air around them. Hard against her most delicate spot. She felt a desperate need to reach for him, to feel him right there, as ready for her as she was for him, but she liked this much better. Feeling him moan against her, the slow waves of his hips as he stroked his growing erection against the heat between her legs that was aching. His promise lingered in the back of her head, making her nipples perk at the thought. You will enjoy yourself and feel real fucking good tonight.
Harry’s hand slipped down the front of her white summer dress, lingering over her breast where he felt her already hard nipple. He squeezed her breast, bringing what he could of the nipple between his index and middle finger, squeezing lightly as he started kissing down her jaw. An uncontrollable moan left her mouth as he kissed her neck, chest, between her covered breasts. She felt hot all over as he kissed his way down, leaving no spot untouched by his swollen lips. He reached her thighs, kissing up her right one, leaving wet spots that got cold in the crisp air of the lightkeeper room.
“Turn over,” he said, sitting up on his knees to make the process easier for her.
She did as he told her to without hesitation. Again, he leaned over her, nose nuzzling her hair as he kissed her exposed shoulder. Each one of the kisses he trailed down her shoulder place, and back felt like a declaration of love; felt like a promise of forever, of safe keeping. Right in that moment, she realised she had never felt more appreciated or more turned on. She felt so seen, so important, as Harry kept kissing her back, sucking on her skin, humming moans of absolute delight into her that made goosebumps appear all over her. He reached for the zipper of her dress, kissing her shoulder before he whispered, “Okay if I undress you?”
“Please.”
Harry unzipped her dress, leaving a lingering kiss to her shoulder as he shoved both the straps off her shoulders. She took them off, letting the dress hang loosely over her breasts. Just because she felt like it, she lifted her arse off the bed, pressing it against Harry’s hard-on. It took him off guard and he gasped a little into her ear, but quickly took a grip around her waist. He pressed down hard on her, parting her bumcheeks as his protruding cock could now be seen, and felt, outside his denim shorts.
“Fuck,” he breathed as he grinded against her. His hands slipped down further, hovering over her centre, laying a slight pressure on her over her dress and knickers that was exactly what Y/N needed right then.
“Harry,” she whimpered, feeling him moan at her utterance.
“Dreamed about you saying my name like that,” he mumbled, kissing her shoulder again. “Sound even fucking better than I could’ve imagined.”
He placed more pressure on her, making her gasp and throw her head back slightly, leaning it against Harry’s beside her. They grinded against one another, absolutely lost in this seductive dance that they would have no problem doing forever. Panting a little, Harry kissed her shoulder again, knowing that they could not go on like that, no matter how much they wanted, because he would surely not be able to handle much of it before finishing. The heat between Y/N’s legs was excruciating, she could barely take it as Harry pulled her dress completely off her, exposing her naked back to him.
“On your knees.”
She did as he demanded, getting on her knees in the bed as Harry positioned himself right behind her. He ran his hands over her wet knickers, wanting to properly feel all of her now that he finally had her there. It sent a lightening up her spine, making her moan as he reached her bud, flicking it slowly. He kissed the outside of her knickers before he ran his tongue over her, the hot wetness of him on her made her gasp, sweet torture that she both welcomed and hated. Hooking his fingers under the hem of her knickers, he slid them over her bum and down her legs, and. Again, she felt cold as her wet skin was exposed to the chill room they were in, Harry’s ragged breaths didn’t exactly make it better. She whimpered slightly as she felt his breath go from cold to hot, she could feel the heat of his body radiating against her cunt and bum. With help of her hands, she raised, looking over her shoulder at him to see him there, only his eyes visible as he hovered in front of her.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, Y/N,” he whispered, planting a kiss to her bum before he went back to the place she had just been. “I’ll make you come, flower.”
“Actions speak louder than words,” she said, panting slightly in anticipation.
Harry smiled at her, she thought she saw a slight wink before he hovered back over her centre. She was about to tell him to just get on with it when she felt his tongue, hot and wet and hard, between her folds. She gasped again, closing her eyes at the impact. He licked up between her folds first, making sure to taste every last bit of her as he had thought about this for so long. He started off with a light pressure on her clit, licking around it, sometimes over it, driving Y/N absolutely insane. He slowly built up the pressure, making sure he did not overwhelm her, staying focused on the clit the entire time. He wrapped his lips around it, sucking lightly, something that made Y/N throw her head back, letting go of a loud moan that had Harry humming into her.
“Yes,” she gasped, fists buried in the white sheets under her.
He let go of her bud, licking up around the clit again, then over it, flicking it quickly while tipping his head to the side. She bit her bottom lip, looking over her shoulder at Harry as he continued to eat her out, eyes closed as if he was eating the feast of his life. Once again, he wrapped his lips around her clit, sucking lightly at first and building his pressure. Whimpering and panting, Y/N kept looking at Harry, the sight of him behind her like that, doing everything in his power to make her feel good – and succeeding – was so bloody hot.
When she had made her way up here today in the rain, she had never in her wildest dream this was where she would end up. On all fours, Harry seated behind her, eating her out. She had thrown away any hope of him even feeling a smudge of what she felt for him, but tonight, up in the light room, everything changed. Everything they said, and how they opened up to one another. She felt quite literally euphoric; static with adoration and completely engrossed in everything he did.
Harry moved up, slipping his tongue inside her hole, hands sliding down her thighs as he penetrated her. She swallowed thickly, biting at her bottom lip before she met his eyes.
“Doesn’t do anything.”
“Hm?” He moved up, eyes wide as he licked around his lips. “My tongue in you?”
“Yeah. Feels like you’re mushing mash into me.”
Harry laughed, resting his forehead against her bum as he shook, she chuckled as well.
“Don’t hold back,” he said.
“Sorry.”
“No, I’m glad you told me, flower.”
“Also,” she said as he started licking her again, she gasped slightly. “Can we switch? I want to watch you properly.”
Harry blinked slowly, smiling at her as he emerged. “Gladly.”
She turned around, placing herself on her back, Harry stopped to take her in, eyes gliding over her naked body in front of him. He cupped her face in his hands, kissing her deeply as he ran his hands over her tits, squeezing them just hard enough before he lowered them and himself. He positioned himself exactly where he’d been, spreading her legs wider for him.
He sucked on her clit again, this time pushing a finger into her. She instantly moaned loudly, burying her hands in his hair. Harry wrapped an arm around her thigh, holding her in place as he continued to lick at her clit, curving his finger ever so slightly as to make her feel the best she possibly could. She squirmed under him, her orgasm coming on much faster in this position than the last, streaming down her legs, her torso, towards the centre between her thighs where Harry was sucking at her most sensitive spot, pounding his finger into her. She tugged at his hair as she could feel it coming on closer.
“Harry,” she moaned and at once he reached up outside her thigh, cupping her breast in his large hand.
He ran a thumb over her nipples as he flicked at her clit, finger still buried inside her, watching as she started moving and panting and whimpering more and more. He moved his finger faster and sucked her bud, which was exactly what Y/N needed, she cried out, moving her hips with Harry’s fingers. He squeezed her breast, and she met his eyes, seeing his dark green eyes under his long lashes, drinking in the sight of her. He suddenly hit a spot that had fires erupt in her lower tummy. Y/N gasped and let out another loud moan, whimpering under Harry as he licked and fucked her through her orgasm. She did not take her eyes off him and he did not look away from her, ordering her to keep watching till she was completely down from her euphoria.
Y/N was sprawled out panting, smiling as Harry came up to hover above her. She took a grip of his neck, kissing him deeply. He tasted of her.
“I’ll go get a condom in the cottage,” he mumbled. “I-If that’s alright with you, of course. We don’t have-“
“-I want to.”
“Alright. Brilliant.” He stumbled as he got up from the bed in a hurry. “I’ll-I’ll be right back, yeah? Don’t move! I’ll-“ He looked over his shoulder as he stood in the open doorway, a huge sigh leaving his lips as his eyes wandered over her naked body. He shook his head slightly, letting out a chuckle of disbelief. “Fuckin’ hell,” he mumbled before running down the stairs and out of the lighthouse.
It did not take long for him to come back, condom in hand and panting as if he’d been sprinting back and forth. He closed the door again, placing the condom on the corner of the desk beside the bed, crawling back over her again.
“Been away from this for too long,” he mumbled, running a hand over her curves. “And your tits are bloody fantastic, by the way.”
She laughed at him, swatting his shoulder as he reached for the hem of his jumper and tee shirt, bringing both over the top of his head and throwing them to the floor.
“I’d been looking forward to doing that,” Y/N said.
“What, undress me?”
“Yes.”
His eyes seemed to darken a bit. “Take off the rest.”
And she did. Keeping eye contact, she reached for the front of his denim shorts, undoing the button and unzipping him. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, the slight pressure and caress of her fingers against his anticipating and hard prick seemed to do more to him than she thought it would. She hooked her finger around the band of his shorts and boxers, wiggling them down his hips till they were far enough down for him to do the rest. One hand supporting his weight, he used the other one to help her take his clothes off, but her eyes fell to his cock immediately.
It wasn’t like she had thought of it before. Yes, she might’ve had some dreams and daydreams involving Harry and her doing some very filthy things, but she hadn’t really let herself think about his prick. But there it was, and she felt absolutely giddy with anticipation now. She wanted to have proper sex with him; she wanted it so, so bad.
Harry reached for the condom, tearing it open and putting it on, hand sliding down his shaft and to the pubic hair at the very bottom. Seeing the slight trail from his navel and down to it made her mouth water.
“You alright?” Harry asked, that crooked smile on his lips making Y/N’s cheeks heat up. She was already flustered all over, she did not need him looking at her like that. He knew she had been looking and now he was taking the piss. As usual.
“How do you want me?” he asked, voice husky.
She bit her bottom lip, cocking her head to the side. “I dunno.”
He groaned, hovering closer to her lips. She felt him against her sensitive spot, making her gasp. “What can I have?”
She tugged at the hair at the nape of his neck. “I want to be on top.”
That crooked smile came forth again, his dimples deepening. “Yes, ma’am.”
Taking a grip of her waist, he rolled around, making her lay on top of him. His head was on the pillow, right where hers had just been, so Y/N sat up. She took a grip of him, making Harry’s lips part at the impact. He gripped her thighs that were straddling either side of his hips, squeezing her lightly as encouragement. She sat up, bringing him to her, sliding him over the wetness he had caused. He let out a shaky breath, looking to be just as nervous as Y/N felt. She slid down onto him slowly, Harry’s eyes fluttered shut.
“Fuck,” he hissed, and Y/N gasped again.
“Harry,” she said, a little breathless already. “I’ve… I’ve never been on top before.”
He smiled. “That’s fine, here-“ He placed his hands on her hips, urging her to move. She followed his lead, biting her bottom lip hard as her clit rubbed against his pelvic area. “That’s it.”
She continued to grind against him, moving her hips as he was instructing her. Placing her hands on his chest for support, she started moving a little hard, with a little more purpose, Harry’s hands on her thighs a grounding and intense pressure.
“Keep doing that,” he encouraged, letting a moan slip from between his swollen lips. She rolled her hips, loving the filthy sounds they made as the rain kept on crashing against the window. They continued to look into each other’s eyes, not daring to look away as if it would bring them back to reality. Because this was too good to be true. Never before in her life had Y/N felt like this. She felt powerful as she rode Harry, felt a sort of strength in her that had never been present before. It had never been like this with Dominic; it had never been this intense. He hadn’t demanded she order him around, hadn’t been willing or suggested to try new things, hadn’t really done it like this. Harry looked at her as if the world revolved around her alone. As if the centre of the solar system was right here, and he was watching the sun about to eclipse, watching one of the most beautiful and magnificent moments in time. He gripped into her with feverish hands, coming with suggestions every once in a while, always letting her know just how good she was making him feel.
“That’s right,” he moaned as she moved her hips in circles. “Right there. Don’t stop.”
That might just have been the sexiest thing she had ever heard along with his moans. She continued doing exactly what she was doing, feeling her entire body heating up as she could sense her second orgasm that evening. Thinking about it, she wasn’t sure she had ever come twice in one night before. Maybe it was Harry, maybe it was the moment, maybe it was the fact that her and Harry were finally letting their guard down, admitting that there was something else between them besides their fake relationship. People who fake dated each other did not kiss like that, they did not have sex, they did not look at each other like it was all they wanted to do for the rest of their lives. No, this was more than what they had let on. Way more.
Harry sat up, making Y/N fall against his chest as he bent his knees ever so slightly. He placed one hand on her bum and the other on the mattress behind him as to help him move more swiftly. With each stroke over him, Harry thrusted back into her, rubbing at her bud each time and making everything around her seem much more colourful.
“Like that do you?” Harry asked, mouth parted as he panted into her wet lips.
She nodded her head, taking a grip of his shoulders to better move her hips. They moved together, looking into each other’s eyes as the rest of the world disappeared completely around them. The rain, the thunder, the buzzing of the light from upstairs turning on and turning off, it was all tuned out. Harry leaned down, placing one of his hands on her left breast to kneed it seductively. He kissed from her collarbone and down to her breast, sucking and nibbling lightly on her skin as he made his way to her nipple. Sucking it lightly, he looked up at Y/N who was squeezing his shoulders, telling him to keep going. Electricity shot from her tits and down her spine, heating up the fire that was building in her core. He closed his eyes as he sucked and kissed her tits, humming into her and making her moan time and time again. It felt so fucking good. Though she moved a little awkwardly, though they made some sounds together that made both of them laugh and heat up, though they were still trying to figure out what the other liked, this was still the best either had ever had.
As he was closing in on his finish, Harry wrapped both arms around her, bringing her closer to him. They kissed, desperate pleads and whimpers left each of their mouths as everything started setting on fire. Harry moved his hips with her, she tried to continue to move hers along with him, her hips shaking a little with the effort. Harry’s lips parted completely all of a sudden, a furrow appearing between his brows, and she felt it. He twitched against her and she continued to grind her hips, moving him through his orgasm. Looking deep into her eyes, he seemed to completely melt away when she kissed his bottom lip, sighing against him as she herself started getting closer to her second orgasm as well.
“I’ll help you,” Harry said. “I’ll use my hand, if you want?”
“Yes, please.”
He removed his cock from inside her, meeting her eyes as his thumb circled her clit again. Y/N gasped, gripping both sides of Harry’s neck. His lips parted at the pressure, grinning up at her. He brought his other hand forward, slipping his index and ring finger into her while his other thumb continued to flick at her clit. At once she moaned, looking into his eyes as this brought her closer to her climax, fast. She moved with his hand, moaning louder and louder as the fire inside her tummy intensified, feeling even greater than the time before. Harry curled his finger just as he leaned down, sucking on her nipple again, looking up at her through hooded eyes.
Everything exploded and she threw her head back, unable to stop herself. The sound of Harry pounding into her at a fast speed, wet and filthy, echoed through the room with her exclamation of euphoria. Harry continued till she was completely done, watching her as she closed her eyes, breathing heavily above him. Gently, he removed his fingers from inside her, bringing them up to his mouth to lick them clean just as she opened her eyes again.
Y/N felt at peace. Her heart was still thundering away inside her chest, her soul was still intermingled with Harry’s, and they would not let go of one another. They didn’t need that lamp, they didn’t need a lighthouse, they could light up everything on their own. She was sure that at some point tonight, while their bodies grinded together and worked toward climax, they had lit up like the sun. What was going on between them, the cellular reaction, the emotional connection, the physical attraction, it all equated to something. It had to. What this was, was greater than either of them individually. This would forever be marked on their souls. Meeting Harry, spending this summer with him, it had shaped her into a brand-new person. That was, Y/N reminded herself, what love was all about after all. Change for the better.
Harry got a cloth not long after, helping clean Y/N up before they both slipped under the duvet in the lightkeeper room, squished together as the bed was way smaller than what they were used to. Harry ran his hand from Y/N’s cheek and up to her shoulder, his eyes following his hand’s movement.
“I fucking worship you, Y/N,” Harry mumbled, the rain still pouring outside. He caressed his fingers gently over her jawline.
She moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around him. They both closed their eyes and Y/N felt sleep coming closer. She felt so incredibly content, cuddled up to Harry and with the storm raging outside. A couple a seconds away from falling asleep, Harry started whispering against her forehead.
“Play fair with my heart, yeah?” It seemed like he thought she was asleep. That it was safe to say this. “’Cause I’m gonna fall in love with you. You don’t have to love me back, but I’m telling you now, ‘cause it’s inevitable, at one point, I’ll love you. Madly, truly, completely. Just… please… break my heart gently.”
Before she was able to form any sort of reply, she fell asleep.
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A/N: If you wonder what the melody Harry wrote for that day spent in St Austell with Y/N and Gracie sounds like, I imagine it goes something like this 🥰
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Top 10 Controversial Horror Films That Are Famous For All The Wrong Reasons *gags* *cries*
At the beating heart of horror is offence.
From that undeniable sense of something not being quite right, to the CGI-blood-spurtin’-adrenaline-fuelled scenes that leave us shaking in our boots, horror pivots on the knife edge of controversy.
It’s used to drive plots. It’s used to drive hype. And at the end of the month, it drives studio executives to the bank.
Horror films can be traumatic enough. But there are some films that bear the cross of controversy more than others. There are some films that have been branded as so damaging to their potential viewers that merely circulating copies of the film is illegal.
And yet their infamy has forged cult viewership. What was once shielded from us has now become ‘must see’.
Today we are going to be counting down horror’s most controversial films and what made them quite so topical.
*I’m going to star the ones that you can actually watch without getting traumatised. Some are controversial not because of their content but because some religious or political groups disagreed with them*
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#10 - The Blair Witch Project (1999)*
Let’s ease in with a classic - a classic you can watch without sleeping with the light on.
In this found-footage flick we see a team of film students as they explore a local urban legend. But what they find leads them to unknown and ungodly territory.
The problem with this film is that it was marketed as a true story. No, not based on a true story, a true story. Yep, they claimed what we were seeing was real, found footage of some teens going mad as they forage deeper into mysterious woods.
IMBd went so far as to report that the actors were dead. Then, the movie studio super-charged their efforts to confirm to the public that not only was this film 100% real, the three main actors were still missing. The parents of the actors then started receiving sympathy cards.
There’s even a mocked up website that perpetuates these claims. 
#9 - Night Of The Living Dead (1968)*
Time for another not-too-disturbing film.
This is the original zombie apocalypse film saw a group of Americans attempt to survive an incoming attack of the undead while trapped in a rural farmhouse.
But the Motion Picture Association of America wasn’t too happy about it. The film rating system was yet to be in place, allowing children to also show up for an afternoon screening and be greeted by a 97 minute montage of extreme violence.
“The kids in the audience were stunned. There was almost complete silence. The movie had stopped being delightfully scary about halfway through, and had become unexpectedly terrifying. There was a little girl across the aisle from me, maybe nine years old, who was sitting very still in her seat and crying”
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#8 - Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)
In this psychological film, we watch a random crime spree take place at the hands of a couple serial killers. Loosely based on real murderers Henry Lee Lucas and Ottis Toole, its controversial reputation was founded on the gore ‘n’ guts screened in the movie.
Whilst it didn’t receive much attention from the public, various classification boards across the world ensured new versions edited with certain scenes - often involving sexual assault and necrophilia - removed for viewers.
In 2003, the BBFC (the UK classification board) finally allowed the uncut version to be released and Australia followed suit in 2005.
#7 - I Spit On Your Grave (1978)
It’s the original rape-revenge flick. And it managed to piss everyone off.
Originally titled Day of the Woman, it tells the story of a fiction writer who exacts revenge on a group of four men who gang rape her.
Despite its pro-women claim-to-fame, the 30 minute rape scene begs to differ. Furious debate surrounds its feminist label as a film that forces the audience to endure rape from a female perspective and long-winded violence against men (something which is often reserved for women in horror). Regardless, the graphic violence earned it a steady ban in Ireland, Norway, Iceland, and West Germany.
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#6 - Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)*
You don’t get many controversial Christmas films. They typically stick to a cookie-cutter plot ‘n’ purpose every holiday season. But there are no strong women who need to rediscover the meaning of Christmas here.
Instead, we see a child traumatised by seeing his parents murdered on Christmas Eve go on a seasonal rampage as an adult.
A week after its release in the early 80s, it was pulled from theatres due to backlash. Marketing was focused on a Santa Claus killer with adverts often airing during family-friendly TV programmes and meant numerous children developed a phobia of Father Christmas. Large crowds protested cinemas with one notable protest involving angry families singing carols at the Interboro Quad Theater in The Bronx.
It was only in 2009 - 25 years after its original release - that a DVD of the film was first made available for purchase in the UK.
#5 - Psycho (1960)*
This legendary film follows the disappearance of a young woman after her encounter with a strange man called Norman Bates, one of horror’s most iconic figures. The controversy that would engulf this fim lay not in the violent attack on an innocent woman or even the disturbing content of the film.
Oh, no. It was because of what the leading lady was wearing.
In the opening scene of the film, we see Janet Leigh wearing nothing but a bra.
*gasp*
This racy attire was emblazoned across promotional material, meeting Hitchcock’s high standards of creating controversy around the movie. There was a no late admission policy for movie theaters, and the posters told viewers “Do not reveal the surprises!” to maintain a mysterious aura around the plot twist.
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#4 - The Human Centipede (2009) (all of ‘em)
I’ve watched a lot of horror films, in case you couldn’t tell.
I’m used to watching a scary movie, shaking off the anxiety, and moving on with my life. But there are some that stayed with me. I only watched the trailer for the first movie, and it legitimately traumatised me. It gave me quite a severe, sudden bout of a depression for a solid month when I was 13.
Throughout horror’s goriest franchise, we see an evil doctor and amateur mad scientist attempt to sow several people together into a centipede-like chain from mouth to anus.
*retches*
At the heart of promoting the franchise was controversy. Tom Six, the director, forced a narrative that claimed from the first film that this was "100% medically accurate". He even alleged a Dutch doctor helped inspire the film, confirming that with an IV drip, this was entirely possible.
Although it didn’t receive furore that amounted to serious censorship or long-term banning, it was infamous for having its viewers vomiting in the cinema aisles.
The second film, however, was subject to much more severe controversy and could not legally be supplied in the UK until 2011 due to its heavy focus on sexual abuse, more graphic violence than the original film, and it’s pretty vile depiction of a murderer that was intellectually disabled.
Audiences were used to the graphic nature of the franchise by the third and final release. As the least-controversial and least-enjoyable film according to critics, it barely made a dent in the horror community.
Good riddance, I guess?
#3 - Faces Of Death (1978)
I’m not sure I’d recommend this one per se - but I will give it credit for being an interesting project.
This documentary-style film is a montage of footage of people dying in different ways. As a result of its very graphic and very real content, it was banned and censored in many countries. Only in 2003 was it released on DVD in the UK after a scene was cut featuring dogs fighting and a monkey being beaten to death.
Germany, Australia, and New Zealand followed suit, reversing their bans and releasing edited versions.
However, 7 years after its release, the media revamped its interest in the film after a maths teacher showed it to his class at a Californian high school. Two of his students claimed they were so traumatised they received a costly settlement to reimburse their emotional distress. Things took a darker turn a year later, when a 14 year old bludgeoned a classmate to death with a baseball bat; he claimed he wanted to see what it would be like to actually kill someone after watching Faces of Death.
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#2 - Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
This Italian film’s title alone hints towards two frightening things: flesh-eating humans and genocide. In this found-footage movie we see an anthropologist lead a rescue team into the Amazon rainforest to find a group of filmmakers that went missing.
The rampant graphic content including sexual assault and animal cruelty showcased in the film (7 animals were killed during filming in some pretty horrific ways) led to it being banned in 50 countries.
Some also alleged that a handful of deaths seen in the film were real, as were the missing film crew. In fact, the actors portraying the documentarians signed contracts that stopped them appearing in motion pictures for an entire year to maintain the illusion of reality.
And only 10 days after its premiere, the director was charged with obscenity and the film confiscated. All copies were to be turned over to the authorities. There are currently a range of versions that have been edited to varying degrees and are allowed for circulation.
#1 - A Serbian Film (2010)
No.
Nope.
Don’t do it. Don’t watch this film.
A Serbian Film follows a retired porn star who agrees to feature in an “art film” for some cash. Little does he know this film will include rape, incest, pedophilia, necrophilia…
Just don’t watch it.
It is still banned in South Korea, New Zealand, Australia. It is supposedly a parody of politically correct films made in Serbia that are funded by foreign groups and allegedly speaks openly about post-war society and the struggle for survival.
*shakes head*
Off to have a 3 hour shower, brb.
If you, uhhh, liked this post please like and reblog.
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op-peccatori · 4 years
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Hopefully, Yours (part 1) | MLQC Victor
Fandom: Mr Love Queen’s Choice 
Pairing: Victor/Fem!Reader 
Rating: Mature 
Word Count: 8823
Summary: A fight between co-stars leads to you taking their place, along with the man you’ve been carrying a rather fervid torch for. A happy accident—except it’s a dating show and you have to pretend your feelings aren’t real. | Part 2
Warnings/Tags: language, fluff, oblivious behaviour, dating show, social media, Victor might be a little OOC because I’ve written him differently, some making out in the next part hence the rating, no smut though, my sense of humour
A/n: as always, I’m here to clown around. I tried something a lil new (for me) in this one 👉👈 something I picked up quite recently from works I adored, so I hope you like it! It got longer than I intended so I had to split it into 2 parts ;.; Victor said: keep writing, hoe. 
ALSO!!! Yours by Ella Henderson is. THE Victor/MC song for me. I felt it in my bones when I listened to it again after all these years. brb crying
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It’s the incessant buzzing of your phone that lures you out of the warm cocoon of your blanket.
You don’t really want to come out of your haven. Not after the week you’ve had, and because you know what awaits you. But as Anna had told you, there’s no way you can avoid this. They had finished editing the episode on Thursday, and Jason had already texted you last night to let you know it would be ready to be uploaded at 7:00 pm today.
Reaching listlessly for your phone, you squint at the bright screen through bleary eyes; it’s 9:00 pm already, and you’ve managed to sleep most of your Sunday away. It’s been a whole week since you filmed the episode, and while you were able to keep your thoughts at bay through it, it’s finally caught up to you.
After all, this is the episode you’re going to be in.
Pulling your laptop towards you, you open the tab that has the streaming site open. Your heart begins its anxious thump against its cage, a beat all too familiar to you by now. As the video begins playing, the memories of that day rise up to the forefront of your mind, refusing to be outdone by this meticulously edited version.
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It started with a plan. A very well-thought-out plan.
“He called me a bitch. How can you still expect me to shoot with this jerk?”
Things were not going according to the very well-thought-out plan.
From your place next to Homer, the camera guy, you watched with mounting apprehension as Hollow resisted the AD’s attempts to placate her. But she did seem calmer, the scalding rage of her glare simmering down as he continued to reason with her.
And then her partner for the episode walked back onto the set.
“She said my songs are predictable! You want me to work with a hater?” Kai protested loudly, and Hollow turned back to him in a fury. The AD looked back at you in dismay, the rest of the staff watching with varying levels of exasperation.
“This is supposed to be a cheesy, ultra-romantic show,” Kiki whispered from her place at your side.
“This is what the reality is. All that sappy crap is for the camera,” Willow snorted, shaking her head in disenchanted disappointment.
There may be more than a kernel of truth in that. Hopefully, Yours was your company’s latest project; the second season, the first one having been produced by a different group. It’s a romantic web-series that featured different couples going on dates around town. The couples featured ranged from non-celebrities to people who are household names. So far, there hadn’t been too many issues with the participants—so you really should have expected this.
“Not always!” you cut in, fiddling nervously with your planner. “Some of the couples have gone on to date for real. Raymond and Liliana got married!” A lovely couple from an episode that aired last year. They’d been in the news recently too.
“They’re getting divorced,” Homer piped up in response. You hoped the look on your face let him know how unhelpful that was and turned back to the clashing couple. The AD looked harrowed and harassed as things turn increasingly hostile.
“Willow, do we have a backup couple?” you asked after a long moment of watching them spit insults. “Or just one person to replace either of them. What about Carlson?”
“He won’t be in town until tomorrow.”
‘Can I leave town?’ You wondered in a fit of desperate, wishful thinking.
“And we’ve got everyone here, with everything set up. Can we really waste time?” Kiki wondered out loud.
“No, we can’t,” answered a strained voice from behind you. All four of you turn to see Anna striding towards you, her hassled expression sending a frisson of worry through your stomach. “___, we’ve got guests.”
“Guests?” you repeated numbly. “What guests?” From the look on her face, it couldn’t be good news.
Anna held your gaze for a second, looking vaguely apologetic, before stepping to the side, allowing you to get a look at who Jason, the director, had rushed off to greet. You felt the ground shift beneath you, throat drying rapidly and the surrounding noise dimming as you focused on the new arrivals—your friend, your boss if you insist on the technicalities, and the star of most of your daydreams. LFG’s very own CEO, Victor, and his loyal secretary, Goldman.
In other words, people you hadn’t expected to see today.
“Why?” you whimpered, mostly panicked, but distantly amused by how enthusiastically he’s being greeted. It gave you a few moments to get it together, a familiar buzz coming to life underneath your skin.
This is terrible. Surely, this is karmic retribution for some misdeed committed by you. 
“Boss, get it together,” Kiki hissed in an echo of your thoughts, and you realized you had half-fallen back into her and Willow’s arms, their hands steady on your shoulders.
“This is really bad timing. Like, really bad,” Willow pointed out unnecessarily as you straightened up, running a quick hand through your hair.
“Goldman said they just dropped in to see how it’s coming along. I don’t really understand why, this is not at all Victor’s cup of tea, but he’d been hesitant about the show, so...” With a sympathetic smile, Anna placed a hand on your elbow, squeezing lightly. The comfort it brought is chased away almost immediately by a furious screech.
“That is it. I’m done!”
Turning just in time to watch Hollow stalk off the set, you tried to restart your thought process. You just needed to solve this.
“How do we solve this?” Kiki asked in a low voice, and Willow shook her head helplessly. 
With no answer for her, you could only watch as Jason led Victor and Goldman towards the set. You knew the exact moment he saw you; there was no smile, but a slow blink. It was still early in the afternoon, and his patrician features were alight with a soft glow in the golden sunlight, the curve of his lip relaxed and his clever gaze taking in you and everything happening around you in seconds. You’re not sure what he saw in your face but it made the corners of his mouth pull downwards.
Your stomach plummeted, seized by a sudden urge to flee.
But with his long strides, he reached you before you could take a step back. Kiki and Willow retreated silently, greeting him like newly registered soldiers coming face to face with their general and leaving you at his mercy. You would have felt miffed, but the way the sunlight softened his features was a little distracting. His lips moved, and you’re certain he said something, but couldn’t quite hear him over the sound of your heart drumming in your ears.
Homer coughed loudly, popping the bubble.
“Good morning, Victor!” Certain your lack of actual delight was obvious, you tried to inject as much enthusiasm into your voice as you could while your project went up in flames behind you. Not that you weren’t happy to see him, as the sudden thrill twisting through insisted on reminding you, but the prospect of disappointing him was one you would rather not face.
There was no visible reaction from Victor, but Homer looked a bit disturbed by the attempt. Goldman just looked like he pitied you, while Jason looked oddly contemplative. This was probably his first time seeing you this…dazzled.
“Good morning,” Victor replied evenly. His eyes, a constant, focused storm and his silken hair falling artfully over his forehead form a picture so lovely, almost beyond words. It’s never stopped you from waxing poetic about them, or his long list of admirable personality traits, but he had a way of knowing when you’re not paying attention. “Looks like I picked a bad time to check in.” 
You couldn’t quite pin down the inflexion in his tone, but your immediate guess was that he was either severely disappointed or was low-key mocking you.
With how quickly things derailed, it’s understandable. 
“Haha,” you laughed—an unfortunate coping mechanism that seems to flare up most often in his presence. Also, because Victor looked unfairly gorgeous, as always and you were a fool with a worryingly erratic pulse. “Just a few bumps. Nothing we can’t fix.”
Behind you, Kai declared his intent to leave as well. There’s a contract, so they would have to look into this, but that would take time. At that moment, Victor was eyeing the singer leaving the set and your nervous smile with his brows steadily climbing higher.
“Right. Anything I can do to help?” he offered, and the shame that elicited is so fierce you felt like you’d shrunk. This was supposed to be a casual visit, for him to see how the filming was going and instead you made him feel the need to step in and clean up the mess.
“No,” you said, firm, immediate, vehement. He frowned down at you. “We’ll come up with something. Why don’t you two take a seat, we’ll get you some drinks and Anna can go over the ratings and numbers with you.”
Victor seemed to hesitate, still frowning at you, but relented when you mustered up a small but convincing smile for him. “Alright. Let me know if you need anything,” he insisted, because he’s nice like that, before following Goldman and Anna into the small room you’ve converted into an office. You have a small but closed set for the first meeting of the couples, before the crew moves to whatever location has been picked out for the date.
“He’s nicer than he looks,” Homer observed as the two of you watched him leave.
“He’s lovely,” you said miserably. Who would have thought there’d be a day when you said that about Victor? He was still an evil capitalist, but he’s a kind man. 
Homer didn’t get the chance to reply as Jason rushed up to you.
“Okay, so we’re gonna have to sit those two down for a talk, but we don’t have time for that today. We need substitutes,” Jason said, not nearly as panicked as you would expect from a director who had no one to direct. It was admirable, this ability to keep his head even when he hits what looks like a dead end.
“I’ll make some calls.” Reaching into your pocket, your mind ram through your options as your hand closed around your phone.
“I want you to do it,” Jason declared. 
It took you a few seconds to realize you hadn’t misheard. He looked back at you steadily, already resolute in his decision. You looked around, expecting protests, but the staff members only looked eager. 
“…I don’t like this joke,” you said, slowly.
“Good thing it wasn’t one!” Jason returned cheerfully. “Before you turn it down, let me say—please? And don’t go off with the ‘I’m nobody!’ thing. People know who you are.”
“Um.” You really, really didn’t know what to say to him.
“My brother thinks you’re hot,” Homer offered, and Jason beamed at him.
“Okay, we’ll do this. You’re the producer of one of the oldest and most popular shows. You’ve gained more media presence over the last two years. You’re also friends with Kiro and Professor Lucien, so people have been quite curious about you for a while! This is just a fun little thing. Please?” Jason pleaded.
In the spirit of fairness, you took a minute to think about it. It would solve half the problem. And today’s location was a local fair, where the couple got to try out anything they want to, with all the expenses covered by the company. The very thought of stepping in front of the camera left your cheeks flushed, but you couldn’t deny the bud of excitement that seemed to have taken root.
In the end, your stomach made the choice for you.
“If you think it’ll be fine, then sure,” you acceded, thoughts filled with stir-fried noodles and holding hands with a faceless person. “But what about the other person?”
“Hmm,” Jason looked in the direction of the office, reminding you that you don’t have all day to decide.
“I could call Gavin and ask if he’s free,” you suggested. People adore him. “Or Lucien?”
Jason nodded as if truly considering it, his gaze sharp on you. “Good choices. What about Victor?”
“Yeah, no. That is a bad idea,” you said at once, without giving it a moment’s thought. This was a dating show, where people go on cute dates and act adorable on camera. The very thought of Victor doing that at all, let alone with you…was something you couldn’t think of because it was ridiculous. And bad for your poor heart.
“It is an excellent idea,” Jason disagreed. You hated to be the bearer of bad news, but this was necessary. You’ve known Victor for a while now, and felt responsible for Jason’s well-being that would inevitably be threatened if he embarks on this particular path.
“He’d never agree to it,” you told him solemnly. The man barely agrees to do interviews; a show like this? Out of the question. “You know who he is, right? He doesn’t have time for this.”
“Why don’t you leave that to me, and go get ready. I’ll go get your man,” Jason said, loud and bright, shooing you in the direction of the dressing rooms. You stood there for another minute, dazed and afraid. What if Victor thought it was your idea?
The horror.
The terror.
“I’m still texting Lucien!” you called after him, voice pitched high in your alarm. Before you could follow Jason to make sure Victor knows you would never suggest this, an arm slid around your shoulder.
“Darling,” Arnold, the head stylist, cooed at you. “I heard the good news.”
“How?” It had been two minutes. People shouldn’t be spreading this without the director’s confirmation.
“Forget the hows. This is your time to shine. Come, we’re going to make that CEO drool,” he proclaimed, shepherding you towards the dressing rooms. “And I can finally do something about this hair!”
“He’s not going to agree.” You were absolutely certain of that, even as your mind continued to conjure cutesy images of you sharing cotton candy with the reticent man. 
Taking a seat at the vanity, you reached for your phone over the cotton pads, watching Arnold’s reflection in the large mirror as he flitted about the small room, picking out different outfits. You hadn’t gotten a chance to check it for a while, and scrolled through your texts swiftly, pausing on a few in particular.
Victor [9:00]: Hello. I’ve got some time off today.
Victor [9:02]: Is it alright if we drop by the set? What time is your lunch break?
Victor [9:20]: You must be busy. I spoke to Anna. I’ll see you later.
Victor [9:25]: Also, good morning.
Oh.
He had actually let you know he’d be dropping in. Taciturn and domineering he may be, but Victor’s quiet consideration often left you glowing with warmth. In comparison, your own clumsiness often left you embarrassed. In this instance, it made you feel doubly determined to do this right.
Y/N [12: 05]: Hi, sorry I missed these. Don’t worry, I’ll get us back on track.
Closing Victor’s chat, you took a moment to consider your options before making your choice.
Y/N [12:07]: Lucien! Are you free?
Lucien [12:15]: Hello. Just wrapped up a lecture. I thought you were going to be shooting today?
Y/N [12:16]: I am. Actually, I had a favour to ask.
You stared down at the screen of your phone, shoulders relaxing as one of the assistants fussed with your hair. Should you wait for Jason before asking him? You knew what the outcome will be, regardless of what you wanted. You’ve always known, always kept your thoughts safe behind a barrier, never letting them spill out in Victor’s presence.
You thought back to his disappointment, and something fragile in your chest tightened.
Your phone buzzed in your hand, and you prayed to all the powers above that this works out.
Victor [12:18]: Dummy. I’m not worried.
There was a knock at the door as you opened the chat, thrown off but pleased by Victor’s confidence.
“Guys, can I come in?”
It was Jason.
With trembling fingers curling tight, you sat up straighter as he was let in. Your pulse quickens, your emotions jumbling together until your can’t tell them apart. You kept your expectations low. You knew what the answer would be. It couldn’t hurt if you expected it.
You just hoped it wouldn’t change anything. It wasn’t your idea.
“He agreed!” Jason announced with a flourish, and your heart halted its despondent march. “His secretary’s picking up his outfit, they said it won’t take too long. We’ll do his hair and mak—uh, are you okay?”
You swallowed your heart back down. “He said yes.”
“Yeah,” he confirmed, stretching out his answer, nodding as Arnold thrust an outfit at him. 
“And he…knows it’s with…me?” you asked carefully.
Jason’s brows climbed a notch higher. “Yes, of course.” His eyes gleamed with something you couldn’t quite read.
“Right, right. That’s great! Fantastic. Wonderful,” you said admittedly weakly, turning your gaze back to your reflection. The colour seemed to have drained from your skin, and you ignored the concerned glance exchanged by Jason and Arnold.
“___, hey,” Jason began gently, coming up to stand behind your chair. “Are you okay with this?”
You studied his worried expression, thoughts turning inward. You shifted aside the panic, the disbelief, the prickling nerves, and shushed the sparks of excitement.
A date with Victor.
It sounded wonderful. But the problem was never about you not wanting it. It was that you’ve wanted it for so long and so badly. Could you really have this?
“It’s okay to say no. It’s just…I don’t think it’ll be as awful as you think,” Jason said. His brow furrowed as the lines of your face smoothed out.
Oh.
“It’s for the camera,” you remembered, and Jason hummed thoughtfully. Regardless of what he may think of you, Victor wouldn’t let it show on the screen. You knew he was aware of what the show entails. So, perhaps, you could have this. It was for work. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s okay.”
Your breath evened out from its shallow state, and you smiled up at Jason, who still looked concerned.
“It’ll be okay.” Your phone buzzed again, and you gathered yourself once more.
Lucien [12: 23]: What can I do for you?
Victor [12:24]: And I look forward to working with you.
It wouldn’t be real.
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Telling yourself it wouldn’t be real was easy.
Sitting next to Victor, your high stools positioned close together as you tried to keep your thoughts away from dangerous paths, was not easy. But the light notes of his scent, sandalwood and myrrh if your nose hadn’t led you astray, threatened to lull you into a state of near-intoxication.
Jason had wanted to film the ‘first meeting’ and, for the sake of authenticity, decided to have Victor wait in front of the camera while you got to be the one to walk in. Which meant it was straight from the dressing room to the set. While you were thankful you wouldn’t be filmed drooling on camera, it still meant you wouldn’t get a chance to talk to him until after, or in between takes.
You were a lot more grateful for the arrangement when you did walk to the set, because the sight of Victor—clad in a slim-fit black shirt, paired with a dark grey jacket and black pants that stretched deliciously over his muscled thighs—stopped you dead in your tracks, your thoughts wiped blissfully clean.
The look on his face, bright under the studio lights, had been unreadable, but it didn’t look like his usual unimpressed poker face, so you decided to take it as not quite a win, but not a loss either. Then the small upturn of the corners of his lips, however, threatened to overload your system, prompting you to avert your gaze slightly as you walked to him, for fear of losing yourself.
Your hi had been shyer than intended, but his hello had been the gentlest you had ever heard it.
And then he handed you a bouquet of red, fragrant roses and you felt yourself grow weak.
It was a short take, where you both introduced yourselves, and discussed where you’d be going for the date.
“Do you like fairs?” he’d asked, gaze intent as if your answer was of the utmost importance.
“I love them,” you’d answered, meaning it completely, and he’d looked glad.
Even through the wild beating of your heart, you had managed to feel impressed. He was doing wonderfully already. Who knew Victor had these acting skills? Hopefully, he thought the same of you. You weren’t acting, though, and this, you were quickly realizing, could be a wonderful way to lift the lid off the pot just a little, and let your real feelings shine through.
You would be filming the individual, interview type scenes last, after the date.
With the first meeting done, with Jason going over the take to make sure he had everything he needed, you would be moving to the location soon. But first-
You looked around quickly, covering your mic and making sure nobody was paying too much attention to you, before turning to Victor—only to nearly jump in fright when you met his eyes. How he’d known you wanted to talk, you’d never know. His own eyes had widened when you’d turned around all of a sudden, the tips of his ears reddening slightly. He had probably been startled by your reaction.
“Hi,” you whispered, grinning up at him, and his lips twitched as he covered his mic.
“You’re doing well,” Victor told you, giving you a firm nod, and you couldn’t quite keep from beaming at him.
“Thanks, you too. I never knew you were hiding such a skilled actor in there!” You really meant it, but your words gave him pause, mouth opening and closing as he considered his response. Strange, as modesty was something he didn’t often bother with. Not to say he’s arrogant, just that he knew his strengths.
“…thank you,” he finally said. “You too. I didn’t know you could…act.”
Because you weren’t acting. The blushing, the shy giggling, the warmth buzzing through you, they were painfully real.
You shrugged, smiling slightly, and he looked away.
“Just…thank you, Victor,” you murmured. “I know this isn’t really your thing. But I promise I’ll do my best to make it enjoyable.”
The light, airy sound that escaped his mouth could almost be a laugh. He did shoot you a small smirk, facing you once more. “Well, you’re not wrong. But it can’t be too bad. I’ve heard they’ve got good street food.”
“Good street food,” you repeated blankly. Wasn’t he taking this acting thing too far? This was bordering on alarming, coming from the man who used to look down on you for eating instant noodles.
“Yes.” He looks at you as if daring you to argue, and, well, who are you to argue with an actor’s method? 
His smile faded slightly as yours widened, eyes fixating on yours, your voice pitching higher in your excitement. “I know, yeah, great food. Literally the only reason I agreed to do this!”
Victor’s face shutters at that, his lips pressing tightly together. “Hm.” He turned back to face the camera, leaving you confused, before realisation dawned.
“Hey, don’t worry! I won’t be too much of a glutton, we’ll be on camera, after all,” you told him, as reassuringly as possible because you and good food were a dangerous combo.
He arched a sharp brow at you. “We’ll see about that. I may spend most of my time in kitchen, but Mr Mills has much to tell me about some of your reactions.”
It was only through the sheer power of your offence that you were able to scowl at him even with the heat flaring up in your cheeks. “Well, there’s no way the food there will be as good as the one in Souvenir, so we have nothing to worry about.”
You resisted the urge to cross your arms, keeping your hands neatly folded in your lap as you turned away from him. But when he said nothing for a whole minute, you couldn’t resist the urge to sneak a peek, only to be left with your jaw slack.
Victor was still facing forward, but the corners of his mouth seemed to be curling up despite the effort he was clearly putting into keeping them neutral, his tiny smile still managing to spill through the seams. It enraptured you, a willing captive to the sight of him so pleased, and you wondered if you could make it through this with your heart intact.
But then, you told yourself through your daze, any chef would be happy to receive such praise for their food.
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[video]
hopefully, yours, episode 3, part 1: Introductions (Victor and Y/n)
450,569 views  •  Feb 8th, 2020
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JTV ✓
1.19M subscribers 
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51,509 comments
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Jason P ✓ 
pinned comment
This is a special one guys ♡
needwater 45 minutes ego
AM I HALLUCINATING OR IS VICTOR LI ACTUALLY ON A DATING SHOW?
            view 50 replies
somsom 23 minutes ago
omg it’s y/n! We rarely get to see her on TV. She’s so cute!!!!
orangeismycolour 16 minutes ago
!!!! Victor and Y/n!!! Omg ever since I saw them attend the Loveland gala together last year, I knew there was something there!! 
tooktiktook 8 minutes ago
um. isn’t this kind of an odd combo?
    cheribb 5 minutes ago
    @tooktiktok I thought so too but they look pretty cute together. I mean…he totally blushed when he saw her! And his eyes went so soft!
      tooktiktok 4 minutes ago
      @cheribb Well, she seems sweet but I think he was just being nice.
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By the time you were shuffled into a van and driven to the site of the fair, your nerves had mostly settled.
Of course, that may have had something to do with the pudding cup Victor had handed you once you were in your seats. Goldman had brought over a paper bag, with Victor plucking two cups from it like a magician with a hat. With that said, while it’s a trick you’ve seen many a time, it never fails to bring a sparkle to your eye.
With Arnold’s permission, you were more than happy to dig right in. Your makeup would have to be retouched once you got there even if you didn’t eat.
It was easy to relax in the steady familiarity of Victor’s presence. A dangerous notion, your unwavering faith in Victor, that dictated everything would be okay if he was there because he would either make it so, or you, with confidence half-drawn from him, would make sure of it yourself.
It was only once you were halfway through the treat, humming and wiggling in your joy, that you realized Victor hadn’t started on his. Rather, his eyes were fixed firmly on you, intent in observing your devouring of the pudding.
The next bite went down a little heavier as you turned to him.
“Is something wrong?” Your enthusiasm surely couldn’t have come as a surprise.
He hesitated, seemingly on the verge of saying something, before clearing his throat and looking out he the window at the slow-moving traffic.
“No. Just…eat slowly,” he muttered, refusing to look at you. You squint at him, at the pink creeping up the back of his neck, sucking on the spoon thoughtfully. “There’s no need to rush.”
“Sorry. I got a little too excited.” Your laugh is a little hollow, and you muffle it with another mouthful of the soft, sweet dessert, missing his quick glance back at you.
He sighed, sudden and a little ragged.
“No, I meant that you should take your time and savour it,” he told you, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. “I can make it for you anytime, so there will be many more chances in the future.”
The next spoonful remained frozen by your mouth as you struggled to process his words. Warm fingers came to rest against the back of your hand, guiding it, and the spoon, to your lips. Your skin tingled, but what was more damning was the way he held your gaze as your lips parted, the metal spoon warm against your tongue as you tasted the sweet delicacy.
It felt all the more sweeter, however, because of the little smile dancing across Victor’s lips.
You were rescued from attempting to respond to that by the van slowing to a stop, with Jason and Homer climbing in before they got moving again. Homer would be the one following you around the fair, as they only needed to get a few takes of you indulging in various activities.
“We absolutely need one with the ferris wheel, of course. A little cliched, but still damn cute. Maybe we can fix a camera in the cabin…” Jason trailed off, turning to Homer for his input. “If you think it’ll be better without you there.”
‘How would it be better without Homer there?’ you wanted to protest. ‘I’ll screw it up if left to my own devices! Professional environment aside, that’s a little too romantic!’
Something prickled at the back of your neck, and you realized Victor seemed to be trying to get your attention, albeit in a very silent way you probably wouldn’t have caught on to if you hadn’t spent so much time studying him.
He said nothing even when you met his gaze, but a reassuring warmth calmed you all the same. I’ll be there, he seemed to say. Trust me.
You were worried about the romantic atmosphere getting to your head, but surely Victor, the ultimate voice of reason, wouldn’t let you get carried away?
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“Okay, we won’t crowd you guys too much, but remember to avoid turning away from the camera!”
That had been the last thing Jason said to you both before he retreated to his place behind Homer, who was ready with the camera propped over his shoulder. Your mics were affixed to your clothes, and people were already beginning to shoot curious looks your way. It wasn’t an uncommon sight; many vloggers and people working for food channels could often be found in places like these, flitting about with their cameras out as they partook in the activities available.
While being around cameras was nothing new, it was a little strange to be on the other side of them. Nervousness weighing on your chest, you reminded yourself over and over: be natural, don’t act like a lovesick fool, don’t stare at Victor for too long. Turning to the man himself as Homer adjusted the camera settings, hoping to draw inspiration from his steadfast composure, you could only stare in confusion at the intent way in which he was staring at the entrance to the fair.
Following the trajectory of his gaze, you squinted, hoping to see what had caught his attention. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, with people milling about, the welcoming sign high above their heads bright and welcoming.
“Victor?”
“Hm?”
“Is everything okay?” you asked hesitantly, and he nodded, almost distracted.
“Are we ready?” he asked Homer, who gave him a thumbs up.
Jason grinned at you, winking in what he seemed to think was a discreet manner. “Have fun, you two.”
You couldn’t quite pretend there were no cameras, not with Homer keeping up with you as you began to walk through the entrance arch. Looking at Victor was easier, just to block out the awareness of your companions, of course.
Catching your nervous glances, he inclined his head towards you and made an abortive movement, hand rising and falling midway. His jaw clenched, and then he offered you his arm, elbow bent. 
As your hand curled around his arm, you focused on your vibrant surroundings. A task made more difficult when, after a short pause, you felt him tuck his elbow into his side, the broad span of his shoulders relaxing when you tightened your grip.
“I’ve been meaning to come here for years, but never really got the chance to,” you told Victor, your voice still edged with nervousness. But Victor nodded at you again, the usual stern line of his mouth quirking up, and your mind stuttered, committing itself to memorizing the precious curve of his mouth.
“In that case I’m glad we got to come here together,” he told you, and it took a good deal of effort not to gape at him. “It’s a first for both of us.”
You nodded, stunned by this unforeseen acting prowess. Seemed like you’ve discovered another one of his many talents.
“Hopefully, it’s the first of many,” he added, a smug lilt to his voice, and this time, you did gape.
“Y-yeah,” you answered, face heating up as you turned away for the sake of your dignity. “Hopefully.”
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bandanaman @headaccs
are we all seeing this?? he’s such a gentleman!! I was not expecting this man to be smooth. #HopefullyYours
mintmadness @mintsallover
@headaccs HAVE YOU SEEN HIM? He doesn’t even need words, one look and I would be on my knees. #HopefullyYours #VictorLi
srirachafire @hotsauce
@mintsallover calm yo thirsty ass down lmao
raspberrydream @berryberry
“the first of many” omg what does he mean????  #HopefullyYours
freshasnow @crystalmoon
Yeah, I’m not really feeling this. I thought we were going to get Kai and Hollow this week? #HopefullyYours
teatime ✓ @spillit
For those of you asking, yes, we knew Victor Li and Y/n were going to be on Hopefully, Yours. Don’t worry darlings, we’ll have some quality tea for you soon!  #HopefullyYours
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Spotting the first of the food vendors, you both headed over to it, peering at the fresh dumplings. The vendor straightened up at the sight of the camera, a benign smile spreading across his face when you asked him for permission to film, nodding and plating plump, steaming dumplings with the utmost grace.
Gordon, as he introduced himself, was more than happy to talk about his family business, their two restaurants in Loveland, while Homer took close-ups of the dumpling that Victor broke apart for a better look.
“My daughter comes here every year with me, insisting she can handle things by herself, but honestly, I just enjoy coming here,” he chortled, before fixing the two of you with a knowing look. “It’s a completely different atmosphere from the restaurant! And it’s always nice to see sweet young couples such as yourselves. Reminds me of my own fair dates with my wife…”
You couldn’t stop sneaking glances at Victor, who seemed content to chew on his snack. He caught your eyes, before his flickered over your head towards Homer and Jason. Inexplicably, his ears began to tint a deep crimson, as he swallowed with some effort and stepped closer to you.
It began to make sense when he lifted the other half of the dumpling to your lips, Gordon gasping an oh my! in the background, and even as your heart began to race, your eyes widening, you felt…bad. Jason had obviously asked him to do this, and you felt terrible about him having to embarrass himself like this. But he did it, and so you took a small bite of the dumpling, the juicy filling suddenly tasteless on your tongue.
And then there was a soft sensation on your chin, your eyes lifting to see Victor dabbing at your skin with a napkin, the little motion taking all his concentration until he stepped back with a satisfied glint in his eyes, which seemed to linger around your mouth.
When you were unable to do anything more than flush deeply and try to stammer out a thank you, Jason ended the shot.
The glint in Victor’s eyes didn’t fade, and something within you quivered.
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raspberrydream @berryberry
he looks like he wants to eat HER  #HopefullyYours
bandanaman @headaccs
@berryberry I CAN’T BREATHE. I thought he was going to kiss her LOL. And she looked so nervous and then he just wiped her chin THIS IS TOO SOFT I CANT #HopefullyYours 
mintmadness @mintsallover
god I wish that were me #HopefullyYours
only4food @bananabread
Okay I HAVE TO go to this place. I NEED TO EAT EVERYTHING. Who’s in??
midnightmachine @musiclover
Gordon knows what’s up. We stan a hard-working man. #HopefullyYours
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Things continued in much the same direction. With no signs of reluctance, Victor rolled up his sleeves and dived into the bustle of the fair. And with his hand curled around your wrist, you couldn’t bring yourself to doubt him. You’ve learned to read the signs of his displeasure, subtle and obvious, and they were nowhere to be found. He looked relaxed, trying out mini doughnuts, accompanying you to any shops you want to browse, frowning when you looked longingly at the ring toss.
“Let’s go,” he said, guiding you over to the booth. Well, you were supposed to try out the games too, but you hadn’t thought Victor would agree to play them. It seemed a little too childish for him.
“I haven’t come here in years either,” he told you when you looked at him curiously, the two of you standing in line with Homer right next to you. “I love my job, but I admit it takes up most of my time. I rarely have time to indulge like this.” He paused, as if wanting to say more, but his eyes flicked towards Homer and he ended it there.
While a part of you was startled in by his words, another softened at his truthful admission.
Victor seemed to have thought of something else, giving you a meaningful look. “But, of course, I always make time for the people in my life.”
You blinked, a little taken aback by sudden turn in direction.
“Even if they want to come to places like these, I don’t mind.” Victor seemed to be hinting heavily at something, and you smiled at that, almost excessively fond. Because it’s true that Victor makes time for the people in his life, especially his family. And even for you—he’s there for you, no matter how small the matter might be; huffing and puffing and going out of his way to help you. 
Falling for someone like that, someone who effuses such stoic confidence and noble compassion in equal measure, it was all too easy.
“Then we’ll make sure to come again,” you told him, a wide grin blooming across your face at the thought. It was unlikely that it would actually happen, but it was nice to think about. You stepped up to the cashier, greeting him politely.
You finally got your turns after fifteen minutes, with Homer and Jason taking a quick snack break while you waited. You’d run a quick eye over the prizes available, quickly drawn to two pusheen cat plushies, a soft grey and a dark ebony. You didn’t think he’d judge you on camera, but would it really be okay to admit that’s what you want? The hair pin would be a more sophisticated pick, something more to his tastes. 
Silently despairing over your proclivity for soft cute things, you turned to Victor for his choice.
Only to realize he seemed to have taken his jacket off while you were preoccupied and handed it over to Jason, his thin black t-shirt fitting him like a glove—and your words died a swift death at the back of your throat, shrivelling in the sudden dryness of your mouth. Silhouetted against the light of the late afternoon sun, his features seemed sharper, his gaze keener as he twirled the ring in his hands carefully.
As Homer began to roll the camera, and Victor prepared to toss the ring, you panicked with the realization that he didn’t ask you which prize you wanted like Jason had asked him to.
The ring landed around a bottle with a loud clink, and you hoped the surprise you felt wasn’t clear in your loud cheer. With the look he gave you, you knew he caught it even if others wouldn’t.
And then he handed you the dark pusheen plushy, which you took with trembling fingers and a sheepish smile. “Oh, thank you.” It was exquisitely soft to the touch. “This is the one I wanted.”
“Hm.”
“It looks like you.”
“What-” His head snapped toward you as you laughed, clutching the toy to your chest. Whatever outraged retort he’d been about to spit out was held back as he saw you hugging it contentedly, your eyes twinkling at him. “…I suppose.”
You handed him the toy, rolling your shoulders as you were given the ring. “Which one do you want?”
“I’m fine with anything,” he said, eyes locked on the grey pusheen plushy, the other half of the pair. So it was with a laugh, helpless in the face of his clear yet unspoken demand, that you tossed the ring. You got it on the second try, handing the toy to Victor with a triumphant grin, who took it primly and tucked it into his side.
“Thank you.”
“Isn’t this too childish by your standards?” you teased, unable to help it, but he only smirked down at you, stealing your breath with devastating ease.
“It is. But childish is…nice, sometimes,” he admitted carefully.
Your mind helpfully supplied you with all the instances of him calling you childish. “Oh?”
He shrugged, elegant, one shoulder lifting as he looked back down at the toy, before looking back up at you through dark, half-lidded eyes. “It’s grown on me.”
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Kiro ✓ @kiromusic
Wow! This seems like so much fun, I kinda wish I got to go there too! :D @miracley/n invite me next time!!  #HopefullyYours 
Savin @agents
@kiromusic You just want to eat junk. And...well, I guess we can make an exception for today. 
bandanaman @headaccs
Before I proceed to scream over the clip, I just wanted to let y’all know I did some digging and apparently, they are friends! They’ve been spotted together in public many times, including the Loveland Gala last year. You know what this means. #HopefullyYours
bandanaman @headaccs
THE PUSHEEN TOYS. They won each other toys!! Y/n’s right, that does look like him with the dark fur lmao. BUT. Look at Victor’s heart eyes!! And she looked so happy omg T_T
raspberrydream @berryberry
@headaccs NO WONDER. It seems like they already like each other but it seemed too soon!! They’re so cute omg please date!! #HopefullyYours
bandanaman @headaccs
@berryberry With how they look at each other? I smell pining ;) I’ve compiled a list of all their public appearances. He even took her to Souvenir! How are they not dating????
raspberrydream @berryberry
@headaccs DM ME!!!!
srirachafire @hotsauce
@headaccs I feel like that’s a bit of a reach. They certainly seem comfortable with each other, but that could easily just be friendship, which is nice too. I feel like we should allow people to be friends instead of just shipping them.
mintmadness @mintsallover
@hotsauce they’re on a dating show, though.
srirachafire @hotsauce
@mintsallover yeah but plenty of other ‘couples’ were just friends or went on to be good friends. I just think these two are comfortable with each other, which is probably a good thing because Victor doesn’t strike me as the sort of person who can have fun with just anyone, you know?
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You ended up having a lot more fun than you thought you would. Victor was always great company, but you could tell he’d tried his best to relax for the show and you didn’t know how to thank him for it. The warm gratitude bubbled up at the base of your throat, your heart sinking deeper into the ocean of affection you already held for him.
He’s so kind. His aloof demeanour, his nagging, his precise instructions and advice were things you’ve come to appreciate. But beyond those lies a heart so caring, so considerate, it made you yearn so deeply, to find yourself a place in it. But Victor had come to treat you as a friend and you could never ruin that because of your own feelings. It was precious, his friendship, and you wanted to treat it as such.
The line you’d drawn with so much care seemed to be straining, however, ever since you found out you would be riding the ferris wheel together, without Homer.
“The people in charge told us if we could just wait until closing time, they could keep things going until we’re done shooting!” Jason had told you as he briefed everyone. A bunch of the crew had left after packing up, as this would be the last take for the day. “That way Homer can fix the lighting and equipment in the cabin and won’t need to join you two! Give you some privacy, yeah?”
‘For what,’ you’d screamed internally, nodding along with a smile on the outside.
 Looking to Victor for his opinion had been futile, because he seemed to have withdrawn into his own head, looking up at the ferris wheel absently. You were supposed to shoot the individual parts, but with how late it had gotten, Jason had asked the two of you to drop by the studio the next day. Only, you had a free slot in the morning while Victor would only be able to make it sometime during the late afternoon.
So you wouldn’t get to see what Victor said about you. That was perfectly fine. Things had gone well, and Victor wasn’t the sort to badmouth someone anyway.
It was supposed to be his day off. And he gave it up to participate in a show that was, for all intents and purposes, pointless for him. You felt terrible, heart aching at the thought that once again you had made him waste his time.
How on earth did Jason even get him to agree to this?
“You’re thinking something ridiculous,” came a low voice, and Victor seemed to have come back from his mental journey.
“I’m sorry,” you blurted out, the guilt getting to you.
“For what?” He seemed genuinely baffled, and it made you feel worse.
“For this entire day. You just came for a visit and now it’s after 8 pm and your day off is gone and you rarely get free time…” your shameful rambling tapered off as the furrow between his brows appeared to grow deeper and deeper.
His response was interrupted by a staff member, who came to let you know the ride was ready for you two. Walking together in complete silence, you wondered what he was about to say.
“Do you regret it?”
You arrived at the ride, and Victor had stopped in front of the open door. “What?”
“Do you regret it?” he repeated patiently, holding his hand out to you. “This entire day. Our date.”
Our date.
It was silly, how him calling it a date, with no cameras in sight, seemed to affect you so deeply. It was ridiculous but it was so real, how your heart fluttered and hope unfurled in the garden where you’ve buried your affection.
“Because I’m not sorry,” he added when you failed to do anything other than flush horribly. There was a question in his gaze, one you didn’t know how to answer, so with a deep breath, you focused on the one he’d asked out loud.
“No,” you said softly, your hand coming to rest over his as he helped you into the cabin. “I don’t regret it.”
How could you, when he was everything you wanted?
You settled on the plastic bench, watching Homer fiddle with the settings and light, making sure the camera’s fixed in place, basking in the heat emanating from Victor.
“Alright, that should work. You guys ready?” he asked.
“Yeah!”
“Yes.”
Homer stepped back to let Jason poke his head through the door. “We’re all set guys. Just call us if there are any problems. Be yourselves, don’t worry about the take. And remember, make sure to make it as romantic as possible!”
As the door closed behind him, with the camera rolling, silence rose to take the place of the sounds now cut off, the rest of the world falling away as the ride began and you began to ascend.
Outside the window, the stars shone in a twinkling blanket across the night sky, and Victor’s arm pressed into yours. Meeting his eyes was difficult, astoundingly so after the entire day you spent together.
This close, it would be so easy to let the words tumble from your lips. You didn’t know what your eyes could give away right now, and you were just as afraid of the softness in his gaze.
It looked too real.
“I’m glad we finally got some peace,” he muttered, and just like that a bright laugh broke out through your fear.
“This was not your kind of place at all, was it?” you said, snickering at the look he threw your way, because it’s so easy to make him huff like that.
“It was…lively,” he said, glaring at you as you stifle your smile behind your hand. “Exactly the kind of place you enjoy.”
“That’s true.”
“Then that’s that.” He shifted a little, trying to face you, his knee knocking into yours. “As long as you had fun, we’ll come again.”
Despite your warnings, your heart skipped a beat.
You tried to laugh it off, changing the subject to your childhoods, swapping lighter stories and carefully avoiding the heartbreaks. Your hands moved somewhere in between, in the dim lights, and your fingers had found each other’s. Make it romantic, Jason had said. That was the only reason. You talked about work, about Miracle Finder, about his public projects, how your busy lives don’t give you the chance to find love.
“I wouldn’t say that,” Victor cut in, still looking at you in that quietly dangerous away, his gaze a heated cloak over your skin.
You stilled. “You wouldn’t?” There was a tremor in your voice, one you hoped went unnoticed.
“I think, regardless of how busy we are, however reluctant…love finds us when it has to,” he said, his voice deep, unwavering, and you forgot how to breathe. Somehow, despite doing your best to avoid it, you had wound up on the proverbial cliff’s edge.  
And it was time to take a leap.
“Victor...have you ever been in love?” you asked, part of you ready for his outrage, for him to brush it off with a roll of his eyes, and the other curling up in fear at the thought of the answer he might really give you.
He hummed, tightening his grip on your hand when you tried to tug it back, searching your face. His thumb swept over your knuckles, rubbing gently, and you wondered if he was preparing you for heartbreak.
“Yes. I have.”
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Kiki @kikiki
@smilingwillow WHAT THE FUCK
Anna @miracletv
@kikiki Language.
Kiki @kikiki
‎@miracletv did you see the episode?? im going to collapse WHERE IS BOSS @miracley/n
raspberrydream @berryberry
DID HE JUST???? OH MY GOD @headaccs DID YOU SEE THIS? ARE YOU OKAY? #HopefullyYours
bandanaman @headaccs
THIS MAD LAD ACTUALLY DID IT. @berryberry I will never recover from this #HopefullyYours
srirachafire @hotsauce
@headaccs @berryberry He just said he’s been in love before. He didn’t say he’s in love with her lol
raspberrydream @berryberry
@hotsauce what will it take for you to finally see the light
mintmadness @mintsallover
I could listen to this man talk all day. Y/n, you’re one lucky girl <3 #HopefullyYours
cocoloco @chocolatedelite
I’m late to the party but lmao at everyone freaking out. Uhhh honestly I’m not sure. These things are usually scripted. They could just be faking it. #HopefullyYours
srirachafire @hotsauce
@chocolatedelite Thank you!!!!
victorshoe @mrsli
My heart is broken but their cuteness has mended it. I’ll give them my blessings. #HopefullyYours
bandanaman @headaccs
oh thank god they just uploaded the individual bits!!! THANK YOU @jtv
bandanaman @headaccs 
...wait 
raspberrydream @berryberry
‎‎omfg
bandanaman @headaccs
????? IS THAT IT??? COME BACK @jtv that can't be it!! 
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Thank you for reading! 
MC/You: it’s a fake date. chill. 
Victor: Goldman I need NINE roses and an outfit that makes me look like a sex god I HAVE A DATE
377 notes · View notes
Text
Happiness Continues
Part 3: 8 Weeks Pregnant
Summary: Jensen and his wife get their first glimpse of their growing baby.
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Plus Size Reader
Word Count: 2.6K+
Warnings: Language, brief descriptions of internal ultrasound, pregnancy related emotions
Author’s Note: This part is a little shorter than the others, but that doesn’t mean it won’t leave its impact on the story. Thanks again to @emoryhemsworth for giving this a once over, love you babes. As always, I love to hear what you all thought. Reactions, theories, or just plain flailing, I love it all xoxo Alex
“Brb crying,” @emoryhemsworth
Catch up with the series masterlist and then check out Alexandra’s Library for more by yours truly!
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There was absolutely nothing glamorous about being pregnant. Y/n now stood by that statement and if anyone tried to convince her otherwise, well, she might just stab them with a fork. That’s where she was at this point. Granted, she was still in her first trimester, but she was adamant about it sucking. 
First of all, the baby wouldn’t let her eat a thing. She had figured out how to control the smells quickly. They still tended to make her stomach churn, but at least she could stave off the actual vomiting. Mostly, it was anytime there was a strong scent in her general vicinity; anything distinct enough for her to detect what it was could trigger something. Unfortunately for her, that included her husband’s cologne, a scent that happened to be both of their favorites. That was awkward when he walked out of their bedroom one morning all pressed and ready to go for the day, coming to hug his wife goodbye only to have her cringe and run away to the bathroom to lose the contents of her stomach. 
For the past three weeks, though, she had been living on a diet of ginger ale, peppermint tea, and sugar-free hard candies. Her stomach would turn out just about anything else and, to be honest, its preferences for what it could handle changed daily and Y/n had given up trying. Every meal was a new adventure for her and the baby. Her hours of scouring the internet for something, anything, for her to eat were wasted. Their baby did not care for anything.
Hiding her symptoms was becoming increasingly easier, though. With it still being so early, and not having even seen a doctor yet, both her and Jensen were wary to tell anyone. Call them superstitious, but they didn’t want to jinx anything just yet. Besides, it was kind of nice basking in the news just the two of them. It reminded them of the start of their relationship, only this secret wouldn’t end in a fist to a jaw... hopefully. As far as they knew, no one was suspicious of anything in both their friends and family as well as coworkers in her office. 
Y/n stood in their bedroom, the dawn light peering in through the curtains as she examined herself in the mirror. Lately, she had been sleeping like a cat, but today her anxiety was in full force. The woman had tossed and turned all night, finally deciding to crawl out of bed and jump into the shower when the sun first made its appearance over the horizon. It was no use trying to sleep anymore. 
As she stood there, turned to one side, she ran a hand over her lower abdomen. If she cocked her head just right, she could have sworn she noticed the start of what would ultimately be a massive balloon in the middle of her stomach. Though, to be fair, she could also be imagining it. The mind sees what it wants to, right?
The sound of the sheets ruffling had her snapping her head around to her husband who still lay in bed. He stretched out his long limbs, the longer locks on the top of his head mussed from his night’s sleep. He blinked a few times as he woke, quick to take in the looming figure of his wife at the foot of the bed. A smirk graced his features as his eyes traveled up her bare legs, noticing all she had on was a pair of panties. 
“Mmm, I’ll take this wake up call any day.” His voice was husky with sleep. His wife rolled her eyes but climbed up on the bed anyway, crawling into his waiting arms and laying against his bare chest. 
Y/n sighed as she nuzzled into him, “I can barely go ten minutes without being either exhausted or needing to vomit, so unless you have some sort of The Exorcist fetish I don’t know about, then I’m gonna have to decline.” 
“Ugh, god,” Jensen scrunched up his nose, pushing his wife away from him as he climbed from the bed. She laughed, chasing after him into their master bathroom. Y/n slipped her arms around his waist, pulling his back against her bare chest and placing a kiss between his shoulder blades. The pressure against her sore breasts was uncomfortable right now, but not unbearable. This one was her new least favorite symptom of pregnancy. 
“You nervous about today?” He whispered, grabbing her hands with his own and threading their fingers together. 
Y/n let out a huff of air, the action sending goosebumps across Jensen’s skin. Of course, he had picked up on her anxiety. “Yeah, and excited. I don’t know this kind of makes it all real, you know?” 
“I do.” He pulled her hand up and kissed the back of her knuckles before releasing her. He turned around in her arms to lean in and press his lips against hers. Y/n leaned into her husband, taking full advantage of having him close to her. 
Jensen pulled away, running his tongue over the swell of his lower lip and cocking his head. “Why do you taste like a bag of Warheads?” 
“Oh, I woke up to my stomach rolling and the only thing I had within reach was the sour candies I bought last week. It actually helped a lot.” Y/n smiled sheepishly. If she thought about it long enough, she had eaten plenty of those candies to quell her stomach enough before she could even sit up in bed so it shouldn’t be surprising her husband could still taste them on her. 
“I’m not gonna lie, I kind of like it.” He flashed her a grin that was all teeth before lunging to kiss her again. His wife laughed, shaking her head at all the boyish charm she had fallen in love with shining through so early in the morning. “Alright, I need to shower. Go, make yourself some tea, and try to eat something real for me.” 
Y/n scrunched up her nose as he smiled at her. She didn’t want to eat, her already flimsy stomach on overdrive today, but for her husband, she would try, muttering an exaggerated ‘all right’ as he started the shower. The woman trudged her way back out to the bedroom, finishing getting dressed for the day in her comfiest sweats, before retreating to the kitchen to make herself some tea and buttered toast. It had been a week since she had tried toast, not willing to touch the stuff after the incident, so she hoped it was a safe bet. 
As the kettle came to a boil and the toaster did its magic, Y/n looked out the large window onto their courtyard. The rising sun was casting elegant patterns against the white stucco of their house and dancing along the surface of the pool. 
Y/n had scheduled the first appointment of the day with her doctor because she knew that she would be up early anyway. They still had time before they needed to leave their house, which Jensen would use to his advantage, taking extra time in the shower and getting dressed. Y/n on the other hand had already done that, so now she was trying to figure out something to occupy her mind until her husband made an appearance in the kitchen. When it seemed her breakfast was not going to make a reappearance, at least for now, she decided to put on some coffee for him and started the pan to make him an omelet. 
Y/n was slipping the eggs onto a plate when Jensen made his appearance in the kitchen. 
“You didn’t have to make me breakfast, I know how your stomach has been.” Jensen came up to her side and put his hand on the small of her back. 
“I’m surprisingly okay this morning. Must be some sort of anxiety override.” She laughed as he kissed her cheek. Y/n grabbed him a fork as he turned to pour himself a cup of coffee. She slid the plate across the island as he sat down across from her. 
“I was thinking,” Y/n spoke up from behind her mug of tea, “I mean, I know it’s still far too early, but I don’t want to find out the sex.” 
“No?” Jensen quirked a brow at her, his mouth full of his breakfast, muffling the word on his tongue. 
“There are few mysteries left in this world most days, and I just think this is one that would be exciting.” 
“That’s fine with me.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, you aren’t wrong. Who cares about our baby’s genitals anyway?”
Y/n pursed her lips and bit back the emotion already bubbling up in her, instead, allowing herself to feel excited for now, “Then it’s settled.” 
Jensen looked up at her then, a smile cracking on his face. He shook his head at the giddiness over taking his wife. With everything that she had been through lately, it was refreshing to see her truly smile again. He had missed that smile. 
Jensen cleaned up the mess from her making his breakfast and the two were out the door to the doctor. The office was located in St. David’s North Austin Medical Center, over thirty minutes northeast of their home, depending on traffic. Y/n had been seeing Dr. Garcia as her gynecologist for years now, and she loved the woman and the attention she paid her patients. 
The couple made their way inside the familiar building, checking in at the desk and waiting in the lobby for them to be called back. When the nurse came from them, she took Y/n’s weight, vitals, and asked the usual questions before giving her a cup for a urine sample. Once Y/n returned from the bathroom the nurse instructed her to get undressed from the waist down and cover herself with the provided blanket. 
The room was silent as they waited for the doctor, neither of them quite sure what to say at the moment. There were too many questions that could only be answered by the doctor. Y/n had her eyes trained on the machine to her left when a knock came from the door before it opened. Jensen squeezed her hand as Dr. Garcia came in, a smile on her face. 
“Y/n, it has been a while since I’ve seen you in here,” She noted as she pulled up her chart on the computer. 
“Uh, yeah, that’s kind of why we are here now.” Y/n admitted, a sheepish smile on her face. 
“Well, the urine sample you provided us confirms pregnancy.” Dr. Garcia continued to examine her chart, hitting some buttons in silence. “Looks based on the information provided, you are about eight weeks along now, which will give us an expected due date of February twenty-third, all of which I will confirm after an ultrasound. Tell me a little bit about how you are feeling.” 
Y/n went into detail about her symptoms the past few weeks and the doctor gave her basic information on necessary diet changes as well as a prescription for a prenatal vitamin. She also handed over pamphlets to get the couple started.
“I’m going to do a vaginal ultrasound since the fetus is still small, take a few pictures, listen to the heartbeat, and then we will get you guys out here.” Y/n nodded, laying back on the exam table as the doctor pulled up the ultrasound machine and pulled up the footrest. She helped Y/n put her feet up in position. 
“You’ll feel pressure,” Dr. Garcia talked Y/n through what she was doing, though it didn’t make the action any less uncomfortable. Jensen moved to stand near her head, never letting go of his grip on her hand. Both of them watched the screen with bated breath as the doctor searched for what was growing inside her. “Ah, there we go,” 
A black spot made its way onto the otherwise white screen, in the center a small white bean-shaped figure. “That’s it?” Jensen asked, leaning in for a closer look. 
“That’s it, and the little blip in the center there is its heartbeat.” Dr. Garcia pointed on the screen before taking a snapshot and starting her measurements. She hit a few more buttons and the rhythmic whoosh of the baby’s heart could be heard like a siren in the small room. 
Jensen let out a small huff of air before he brushed away the hairs on Y/n’s forehead and placed a kiss there, his lips lingering for a second against her skin. There was no point in trying to hold back the tears anymore. The longer she stared at the screen, the more the realization of the fact that she had a tiny human growing inside of her began to take hold in her brain. Sure, she had known for a few weeks now, but not being able to see it on her body, finally having visual and audio proof had broken the dam in her head. 
“I’ll print this picture and be right back. You can get dressed now.” Dr. Garcia smiled at the equally teary-eyed couple. Y/n finally broke her gaze from the computer to look up at her husband, her hand coming up to cup his jaw. 
“Oh, Jay,” She sighed as she wiped away the tear that had fallen down his cheek with her thumb. 
“I can’t believe this is really happening,” He breathed out, staring at his beautiful wife below him. There had been nights he dreamed about starting a family, the woman always a blurry figure in his mind. Now, with the actual woman staring back at him, he felt like his chest might explode. He loved her more than his own life, and he didn’t think it was possible to love a person more, but seeing this ultrasound had changed all that. There was enough room in his heart for someone else, and that was his child. 
****
Jensen dropped Y/n off at home before meeting Steve at the studio to work on their second album. His wife wanted to take a nap after not having gotten much sleep the night before, and he was more than happy to oblige her. If he was being honest, he would do anything for her right now as he continued to ride the high from their doctor’s appointment. 
Y/n curled up on the couch with the television playing a soft jazz radio station and she fell asleep with ease. Most days, it felt like she slept better anywhere but her bed if her husband was not curled up next to her. The large king-sized mattress just felt too empty without him.
She woke up a few hours later, the sun now low in the sky. Y/n checked the time before cursing to herself and jumping out of the warm blanket she was curled up in. The trash would be coming their way soon, and in the excitement of the morning, she had forgotten to put it out. Slipping on a pair of sandals, she headed to the garage to grab the cans and drag them down the driveway. She pulled them to the end of the drive, making sure they would not be in her husband’s way when he returned. 
Y/n pushed the recycling can to the side and something caught her eye. She squatted down, taking in the handful of used cigarette butts that were just barely visible against the stone of their driveway. A frown pursed her lips and she brushed the trash into the street before returning inside to find something to make for dinner.
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Part 4: 12 Weeks Pregnant 
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Forevers: @22sarah08 @akshi8278 @anathewierdo @atc74 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @callmekda @dawnie1988 @deanwanddamons @ellewritesfix05 @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @foxyjwls007 @hobby27 @janicho88 @jensengirl83 @katehuntington @lyarr24 @malfoysqueen14 @mrsjenniferwinchester @msmarvelouswinchester @polina-93 @sleepylunarwolf @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan @smol-and-grumpy @superfanficnatural @supraveng @talesmaniac89 @tranquility-or-chaos @waywardbeanie @winchest09 
Happiness Continues: @ashleyrose0117 @austin-winchester67 @deanmonandnegansbitch @deans-baby-momma @death-unbecomes-you @dvnmbabe @harryhook-lover @hoboal87 @itsdesiree86​ @let-me-luve-you @lunarmoon8 @onethirstyunicorn @parinarain @rebelemilu @smoothdogsgirl @spnfamily-j2 @stoneyggirl @squirrelnotsam @traceyaudette @winqhster @zpandaqueen
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bookish-mind · 4 years
Text
I read call down the hawk, here’s my aching heart:
*spoilers*
(I wasn’t planning on making a long post about this book but I couldn’t help myself, I had too much to say and I needed a place to scream about pynch)
“This is going to be a story about the Lynch brothers” I knew that already so why am I crying, already, the first line and I’m crying
It mentioned Ronan living somewhere other than the barns after Niall died and I’m just here like,, you can say Monmouth it’s ok
“Adam Parrish was the destination of this road trip” and “Ronan missed him like a lung” my heart my heart my heart
“the guy he loved” PLEASE
Ronan Lynch upon seeing Adam Parrish for the first time: *literally prays*
I see the obsession with Adam’s hands goes way back
“Funny how quickly a handful of weeks could render something unrecognizable” I know ronan was talking about the weather/the campus but my stomach dropped pls this better not be pynch foreshadowing
Their reunion was so chaotic I’d expect nothing else tbh
The watch keeps track of Ronan’s time zone I can’t-
“He was with Adam, and Adam still loved him” PLS THE USE OF THE L WORD KILLS ME EVERY TIME
“there was burnished Gansey, who might not have saved Ronan’s life in high school, but at the very least kept it mostly out of Ronan’s reach so that he could not take it down and break it” this line bothers me bc gansey literally did save Ronan’s life that was the whole godamn point 🙃
Objectively I understand that the crying club are probly decent ppl but subjectively they ain’t no gangsey that’s for sure
“he longed for him even while holding him” pls the yearning,, it’s too much for my frail heart
Bryde needs to gtfo of Ronan’s head is what need to happen
Who is lindenmere I only know Cabeswater
Ronan is crying I’m crying we’re all crying
It breaks my heart that Ronan is still yearning for something more while the rest of the gangsey are out there living
Gansey is chained to a tree in Oregon, seems legit
Chainsaw knows how to say “Atom” I’m fucking crying
“What, Declan? I’m trying to fucking tow a cow” I love this book
Matthew be like “I’ve been staring at the edge of the water long as I can remember never really knowing why”
I literally had a headcanon that Ronan says I love u to Adam in Latin
“He sucked in more longing with every inhale, he exhaled some of his happiness on the other side�� this godamn book I swear 😩
“dreamt of you” AGSHSJAK
Oof I kinda love Parsifal all he wants to do is eat some bienenstich made by his momma
Wait wait wait these Niall and aurora doppelgängers are confusing me
“I saved your life because I love you” HE SAID IT OUT LOUD ! HE SAID IT ! IT HAS BEEN SAID
I know it’s common knowledge at this point that they are in an established loving relationship but it hits me the same every time I’m reminded
“It was possible no two students at aglionby had ever come away with such a thorough understanding of Latin (or, possibly, of each other)” I have no words
Declan Lynch falling in love with a dream? More likely than you’d think
Man I hope at the end of all this Declan gets to punch a judge and go somewhere to live and breathe art for the rest of his life
This whole dreamers are born to die young theme is stressing me out
“Ronan, I know you” literally everything they say to each other knocks the air out of my lungs
“They hugged again, merrily, waltzing messily in the kitchen, and kissed, merrily, waltzing more” brb if you need me I’ll be reading this line over and over again for the rest of eternity
Two things: 1) gansey left his mint plant for Ronan to take care of 2) ronan dreamed a literal sun to keep the plant alive when he could have just as easily put it by a window like a normal person that’s the cutest bro shit I’ve ever seen
“Adam stopped breathing” please stiefvater imagine how tired we are
Also where tf is opal I miss the lil weirdo
“he missed him acutely even as he was looking at him” it’s too much,, it’s all too much
Oh hell ya Ronan and Jordan/Hennessy/all the other girls finally met I been waiting for this one
Waaait is the dark lady seashore niall’s dream space like Cabeswater/lindenmere is Ronan’s ??
Oh Matthew, my sweet boy, he figured out he’s a dream
Jordan. Is. Painting. Declan. I. Can’t. Breathe.
Oh damn ok so the lace is trynna get out and destroy the world ? Is that it ?
Matthew asking “Do I have a soul?” broke me
Matthew said “I’m the fake brother” and Declan uno reversed that shit so fast
Alright lindenmere I see you I see you but the thing is.. I miss my girl Cabeswater
OPAL FINALLY
“He didn’t have it in him to love another dream. It hurt too bad. Loving anything did” ouch :(
Fuck fuck fuck this is the part where chaos erupts
Damn those sundogs are cool af tho
I swear I didn’t breathe until I knew Matthew and Declan were alive holy shit
Declan thinking “The world was broken” and “I never actually lived” </3
Let Ronan and Declan hug each other challenge
Adam Parrish please pick up the goddamn phone I am begging you
The way Hennessy is so in awe that Ronan has complete trust of lindenmere/his subconscious made me ache bc it took a helluva lot for him to get to this point
“Hennessy?” “Lynch.” “I’ve been alone a long time” excuse me I’m gonna need a minute-
The way Ronan describes what the lace is to him,, I’m fucking sobbing
Hennessy and Ronan’s swords are badass
I still don’t trust bryde but he got them out of there so points to him I guess :/
Where’s book 2 I need book 2
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lunarmessenger · 4 years
Text
“hey how about some headcanons on the RFA friendships like jaehee and zen, zen and yoosung, yoosung and seven, etc! btw Im so obsessed with your blog
(headcanon request from @whatamystic-mess !!!) oh my god yes i love this??? thank you so much for requesting haha this was so much fun to write (and imagine scenarios they’re all so precious) thank you for enjoying my blog!! i’m glad you like it uwu - luna xx
p.s. i just did the ones you listed because i couldn’t stop writing about those specific pairings haha sorry!! but if you’d like to see other pairings please don’t hesitate to ask!! k here it is ilysm xx
Zen and Jaehee: Everyone Thinks They’re A Couple
• Ya’ll knew I had to do it to em
• 100% they’re the friends that literally everyone is always pressing that they’re a couple in secret
• But they’re genuinely just? really good friends?
• You know that Zen is constantly asking Jaehee to come over to critique his performances to see how he can improve and what his fans are wanting to see next
• Just how Jaehee seeks Zen’s advice on learning how to relax every once and a while and not stress over every little thing (since Jumin literally destroyed her ability to take some time to herself)
• They also fiercely defend each other, and it becomes more prominent after Jaehee leaves her job as Jumin’s assistant (which is why everyone thinks they’re a couple
• “Jumin leave Jaehee alone she left for a reason maybe if you treated her like a human being she wouldn’t have left the way she did”
• “Mr. Ha—Jumin. For the last time, Zen is allergic to cats. He will not be participating in anything cat related for your company.”
• Saeyoung is constantly teasing them about when they’re going to get together which of course makes Jaehee blush and Zen smirk at such a silly thought
• Yes, Zen definitely flirts with her from time to time because he thinks her reaction is the funniest thing
• Truly though they’ve both honestly thought about the idea of dating and realized they’re much better as friends than lovers
• In all seriousness though their bond was established fairly quickly due to having to become severly independent in their childhoods?? Zen ran away because of his mother’s emotional and verbal abuse, where as Jaehee felt very unwanted due to her uncle’s wife’s distain towards her (i will fight both of these women they don’t deserve these two!!)
• They were forced to learn not to depend on anybody and in being friends with each other they’ve taught one another that it’s okay to ask for help and confide in someone every now and then
• (brb crying cause honestly zen and jaehee’s friendship is a lot like my friendship with my best buddy irl T-T)
Zen and Yoosung: Big Brother
• Listen to me LISTEN TO ME.
• BIG BROTHER ZEN
• We all know that Zen would try his absolute hardest to get Yoosung away from his computer and out into the real world
• But not in an unhealthy way where he makes Yoosung feel bad for it???
• Zen understands that LOLOL is Yoosung’s way to cope with his loss for Rika; but he just wants what’s best for him so he’s always urging him to try a little harder in school and leave his dorm once in a while just to get some fresh air
• “I wasn’t always that great in school and I didn’t even finish Yoosung now look at me; barely scraping by in a basement apartment do you really wanna end up like me???”
• “Well yeah Zen at least you have women fawning over you T-T”
• Not the point Yoosung not the point
• Yeah though Yoosung definitely looks up to Zen and cares about him in a very brotherly way; admires him for his endurance and ambition to pursue what he loves no matter how hard he struggles for it
• Also we know that Zen would do everything he could to make Yoosung feel cared for an validated, especially since his own older brother ended up turning his back on him when he needed him the most
• We also know that Yoosung would always ask Zen for advice with women as well as asking him if he wants to hang out every once and a while
• “Hey Zen if you’re not busy do you think maybe we can go hang out or????”
• And we all know Zen would feel the absolute worst denying Yoosung so you bet he makes time to hang out with him :’)
• Their friendship is definitely about benefiting each other as well; Zen teaching Yoosung how to branch out and strengthen his ability to concentrate on what’s important
• While Yoosung, without really knowing it, is teaching Zen that responsibility is important and that having someone looking up to you as a role model is an unexplainable (but amazing) feeling
Yoosung and Saeyoung: The Chaotic Duo
• We all know that Saeyoung can be pretty excessive with his teasing on Yoosung (and how much he enjoys it lol)
• But you bet that when they come together for either gaming or plotting fun schemes against the other members they are seriously dangerous
• Yoosung’s creativity combined with Saeyoung’s resources meant that there was usually a lot of cleaning up to do on both Jumin and V’s ends (sorry guys we all know that Saeyoung automatically reverts in age when around Yoosung)
• Yet when they’re not being silly together Saeyoung is actually extremely protective of Yoosung (and that may stem from what happened with Saeran)
• Whenever there’s a slight hint of hacker activity Yoosung is normally the first person he checks on through his cameras
• And when they went on that mission to mint eye you bet your ass Saeyoung had never felt so shitty in his entire life
• Even now after Yoosung has successfully coped with his eye he still continues to blame himself because “If only I hadn’t of been so careless he would have never gotten hurt”
• Yoosung cares deeply for Saeyoung too; and despite Saeyoung being older Yoosung doesn’t really see him as the big brother type honestly????
• It’s more like an equal in a sense; he knows that Saeyoung surpasses him in almost everything but when it comes down to it the they way they talk to each other when being serious; they hold a lot of respect for one another
• They’re just the type of friends where they’re not afraid to get rowdy with one another but are able to communicate with one another when their lives get rough
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sambergscott · 4 years
Text
i'll promise that i'll love you for the rest of my life
one giving the other flowers, as requested by @rosalitadiazz AGES ago, also dedicated to @397bartonstreet for the initial idea of amy sleeping in/just being the best and @nine-niall for helping with the marriage highlight reel.... and for making me listen to heartbreak weather on repeat for the last few days and coming up with this title
happy anniversary to jake and amy!!! (also since the ep aired 2 years ago today i'm not *technically* late thank u very much)
One million, fifty one thousand and two hundred minutes after marrying Amy Santiago (or, two years), every moment is as wonderful as day one. He still feels the same rush of excitement when he sees her waiting by their car at the end of a shift, the same swell of pride when she introduces him to someone as her husband, the same “oh my god we’re actually married” moment when he catches her rings glinting in the sunlight. It’s been the best one million, fifty one thousand and two hundred minutes of his life. And while he appreciates every single second they have together, knowing how in their line of work things can change all too easy, their second anniversary presents the perfect opportunity to remind her that everyday he gets to be with someone as amazing as her is crazy to him.
He has flowers, a handmade card, he even hoovered and she’s still asleep.
She never sleeps this late.
Everyone knows she’s the morning person in their relationship and he’s the Get Out Of Bed After Snoozing The Alarm Seventeen Times person. They live together, share a car, and yet most mornings he ends up riding the Subway, squashed between an old woman and a nerdy looking guy who smells like he hasn’t showered in a week, Amy rolling her eyes when he gets to work mid-briefing. The rare days she can get him out of bed early usually involve some kind of bribery using food and/or sex.
The point is, he’s supposed to be the one sleeping in past 11 AM, but ever since their doctor prescribed Clomid to help stimulate ovulation and boost their chances of making a baby, their roles have been totally reversed like Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis in Freaky Friday.
Pregnant Amy falls asleep anywhere and everywhere. The couch, the car, the cleaning cupboard at work when she was trying to find some Nuclear-strength cleaner to remove the stench of Charles’ lunch from the air before she hurled again.
She could sleep all day if he let her and he quite easily could. She looks so peaceful and cute and free from the stresses of her family asking why they waited so long (well, long for Santiago standards) to start a family. Plus, the messy hair and tiny bit of drool on her chin are impossibly endearing in the way only she can be.
He smiles and wraps his arms around her, resting his head on his shoulder, his hands - like his thoughts - drifting to her growing bump as they inevitably always do.
This time next year they’ll be celebrating with their little boy or girl, telling them all about the insane, magical day that was May 15th 2018. Of course, it might be some time before they can fully grasp the TV-worthy drama of the creepy phone call, the bomb in the vent, the ex-boyfriend proposing - twice! - and the wall of Amy photos, but they will sure as dammit know how beautiful their mom looked in her dress and how happy their dad was when Grandpa Holt finally announced them as husband and wife.
“Can’t breathe,” his wife squeaks, finally awake. “Arms too tight.”
“Oops. Sorry, babe.” He kisses her by way of apology; sometimes when he gets to thinking about that day, about seeing her walk down the shredded paper aisle under the glow of fairy lights, surrounded by the very people who watched them fall in love, he kind of forgets where he is and what he’s doing.
She’s always had that intoxicating effect on him. That’s never gonna change.
“Time is it?” She yawns, stretching her arms above her head.
“Twenty five to,” he pauses to brace himself for her reaction, “...twelve.”
“Twelve?” Horrified, she moves to get out of bed and yeah, he knows her so well. “Let me go,” she huffs in frustration when he forms a barrier to keep her from leaving.
“No can do, Santiago,” he says authoritatively. “You’ve been working yourself to the bone and you’re pregnant. You need to rest. We’ve both got the day off, our dinner reservations aren’t until 8. Just let your husband take care of you for a couple of hours.”
She chews on her lower lip, making her contemplative face that he recognises from sitting opposite her for so many years, preferring watching her piece together the leads in a case rather than work on his own. “Fine,” she eventually concedes. “Happy anniversary, by the way.”
“Happy anniversary,” he returns the sentiment, kissing her again because, well, he can, one of the perks of marrying Amy Santiago (alongside a perfectly organised sock drawer and getting to hang out with the best person in the world 24 sevs). “I got you these,” he adds, procuring the daffodil bouquet he found online.
“Jake,” she sighs dreamily, placing the flowers on her nightstand. “They’re beautiful. And my favourites.”
“I know,” he smirks. He may not be Santiago level smart, but he’s smart when it comes to all things Santiago. “Also made you this.” He hands over the card.
She opens it, instantly tearing up at his sweet message inside, the dam bursting when she notices the scrawled message written with his wrong hand from their unborn baby. “Mine sucks in comparison,” she laments, passing him his card before locking her eyes back on the words ‘happy anniversary to the world’s best mama’.
“It does not suck,” he reassures her, clutching it to his chest. “I’m going to savour it for all times. I want to be buried with it.”
She rolls her eyes, drying her cheeks with the back of her hand. “I thought you wanted to be buried with your original copy of Die Hard.”
“OK, Die Hard and your card. Rhymes for a reason, Ames.”
“You’re such a dork,” she responds, stifling her laughter. “Can’t believe I’ve been married to you for two full years.”
“I know.” He grins. “What was your favourite part?”
Her eyes glimmer with excitement and love and memories of their first anniversary before things turned upside down. “Are you suggesting we do a marriage highlight reel à la NBA inside stuff?”
“That’s exactly what I’m suggesting. I’ll go first. NUMBER FIVE,” he yells in his spot on Ahmad Rashad impression, earning a giggle from his wife. “Number five is that dress you wore on my birthday. Your butt looked the bomb in it.”
“Thanks, babe.” Two years in, she’s used to the constant “your butt is the bomb” comments, often uttered at the most inappropriate of times like when she stands up to brief the squad or play soccer with her brothers, much to her chagrin and their delight.
“Number four,” she quickly moves on. “The time you taught me to play Mario Party and I beat Wario on the first try.”
“That was my worst moment,” he groans.
“And that’s why it’s my best.”
He sighs, considers debating it, engaging in the classic back-and-forth that is the very foundation of their relationship, but it’s moot. She was way better than him. Santiago’s learn fast. It’s in their genes or something. And despite the crushing disappointment when she beat Wario with ease and dork danced her way to the kitchen to grab them both an orange soda, it was still a very fun night and a worthy moment in the highlight reel.
“Number Three. The York murder.”
Immediate understanding spreads across Amy’s face, but he explains anyway.
“I spent three days working that case and you just came in, saw the board and solved it right away.”
“I’m very smart,” she jokes lightheartedly.
“You are,” he agrees, his voice coming out softer and sincerer than even he imagined. “I love that about you. I love your brain. I love how good you are at your job, at figuring out puzzles. I love that you listen to NPR and know so much about the font Helvetica and have read, like, a million books. I love that you do a crossword every night and I love how proud you look when you give me a sports clue and I actually get it right. I love cheering you on at Trivia Nights even when Kylie can’t stop glaring at me. How lucky am I to have the smartest wife in the world?”
Touched, she can barely compile her thoughts to reveal her Number Two.
“The night at Shaw’s, at Hitchcock’s second divorce party, your speech, the way you kissed me, the way you were so gentle when we got home,” she sniffles. “It was special and made me feel so loved and if I say anymore I’m going to cry again, so you go.”
He chuckles knowingly. The pregnancy hormones have been making her extra emotional lately, they can’t even watch commercials anymore without her fully weeping. And while last year Pam and her twisted bowels interrupted before they could get to Number One, this year Number One is obvious. Clear as day. And there’s no one to interrupt.
He pretends to think about it for a minute (because he will always love teasing her, married or not). Only when she grabs his arm and digs her nails into his skin does he put both their hands on her bump and smiles. “Obviously this little guy or gal is Number One.”
She smiles back at him, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
His own face falls. “Ames?”
“It’s been a hard year, hasn’t it?” She sighs, thinking back to calendars and fertility appointments and the strict no nacho policy.
“Yeah,” he says, “it has. But this next year is gonna be the best one yet.”
“I mean... We’re probably not going to sleep a lot.”
“You might not sleep a lot but I sure will,” he teases, his words falling flat. “Just kidding, babe. Obviously I’m going to get up for all the feeds and diaper changes and whatever else this kid throws at us. Gonna be there for you both. No matter what.”
The pregnancy hormones strike again and she starts crying and, honestly, he can’t wait for this baby to get out, for more reasons than one.
“BRB, I’ll go make your favourite breakfast to make you feel better, don’t grow anymore body parts while I’m gone.”
He returns seven minutes later with pancakes, a ton of fruit, decaf coffee and another kiss. He climbs back into bed, devours his own Nutella pancakes and posts his favourite blurry, drunk on Champagne and love selfie from their makeshift wedding reception at Shaw’s, on Insta with a caption about how he promises he’s gonna love her for the rest of his life.
And he keeps that promise.
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nastasyafilippovnas · 4 years
Note
FDTD
Thanks for asking! <3
from dusk till dawn
Top 5 favourite characters: kisa, richie, monica, ximena, venganza Other characters you like: seth, vanessa, scott, uncle eddie, paloma Least favourite characters: kate (i swear this name is cursed lol) Otps: richie x kisa, of courseeee Notps: richiek-te, sethk-te (sorry not sorry) Favourite friendships: seth and kisa, ximena with richie and seth. i guess both of these are more frenemies than friendships, but yeah, lol Favourite family: richie, seth and uncle eddie! Favourite episodes: 2.01 Opening Night, 2.08 The Last Temptation of Richard Gecko,  1.07 Pandemonium (though really everything from 1.07 to 1.10 is so good), 3.02 La Reina Favourite season/book/movie: season two Favourite quotes: i have it tattooed, so, "sometimes eternity isn't forever" Best musical moment: 1.07 during Kisa's pole dancing scene Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: when Richie and Kisa saw each other again on 3.02 (I think I was screaming through this whole episode) When it really disappointed you: season three. most of it doesn't even feel like the same show, but especially that flash forward (i did not need that image in my head) Saddest moment: oh, my, i can't even?? this show has so many sad moments, but maybe Kisa's flashbacks in 2.04 Most well done character death: uncle eddie's, for the emotional impact, i guess. Favourite guest star: there are so many good ones, but Jeff Fahey, because i absolutely love uncle Eddie and he was on justified too Favourite cast member: Eiza, duh. No one loved the show as much as her. Character you wish was still alive: XIMENA. That was some bullshit death for man pain and I hated. One thing you hope really happens: well, the show is over, soo...nothing to wish for. Most shocking twist: maybe Carlos coming back in s03? how many times can a guy die and come back? When did you start watching/reading?: 2016, I think? it was before s03 aired but after s02. Best animal/creature: kisa's snakes, i guess. Favourite location: the titty twister Trope you wish they would stop using: killing latina women (i was fine with it during s01/02, but in s03 it just became so obvious and without any reason, ugh) One thing this show/book/film does better than others: really delving into mexican/latin america culture, i loved how it's a supernatural show that doesn't make the folklore european, and it works so well. Funniest moments: "richard, we should be sleeping. like that guy in that movie you made me watch" lol and when freddie wants to get something from the bar and seth says it's free but richie says it's two fifty or something? lol i love my man. Couple you would like to see: i'd like to see my couple get back together, ha.  Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: --- Favourite outfit: Kisa's bike outfit from 2.10 Favourite item: the diamond bracelet brb crying Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: nothing except my tattoo What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: culebras, of course. Most boring plotline: amaru/kate in s03 Most laughably bad moment: hm, idk, the monsters in s03 Best flashback/flashfoward if any: Kisa's during s02. Most layered character: KISA. Most one dimensional character: i don't really think there's one? even the ones i hate are  actually layered. Scariest moment: idk, the show is full of gore, but not very scary. Grossest moment: when richie, venganza and the lords just go for it in 3.01 Best looking male: Richie. Best looking female: Kisa. I'm shallow, it's why I ship them. Who you’re crushing on (if any): Kisa, Richie, Ximena, Monica, lol. Favourite cast moment: Zane showing up in one of Eiza's IG videos. (that's like, my proof they didn't hate each other). Favourite transportation: Seth's car at the end of 1.10 Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): i think this show has so many beautiful shots! it's impossible to choose just one. Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: how did seth, richie and kate end up together in the flash forward? why is richie able to walk in daylight without any problem? WHAT IS THAT FLASH FORWARD? my nightmare, i guess. Best promo: hmm, i don't remember any special one. At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: probably during Kisa's dance scene in 1.07.
in depth fandom questions
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watchmegetobsessed · 5 years
Text
Love Of My Life - Shawn Mendes (2/2)
im so soft right now, and i want a child brb im crying in the corner
part 1
drabble list masterlist
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Her tiny feet are fast on the tiled floor as she is slaloming between the rushing people in the hallway, occasionally earning a high five from someone, making her giggle so loud it echoes through the whole hallway.
“I got you!”
Picking her up you pretend to be biting into her stomach as her laughter never dies down, arms in the air, he adorable piggy tails bouncing around her head.
“Mommy! Mommy!” she screams happily, guiding her to your hip. She hold onto your backstage pass with one hand while she starts waving at a running technician who waves back happily.
With a four year-old on board, the venue is always a playground, not that anyone minds it. Skylar brings so much joy to everyone working on the tour, it wouldn’t be the same without her. It shows that she spent most of her first year on the road because touring is like a big adventure for her, she loves sleeping on the bus, exploring arenas and new hotels every other day, playing with her daddy in the parking lot before sound check and her favorite? Cheering for Shawn when he is on stage, singing his songs with gibberish words while clapping to the rhythm.
“Who is this happy little monster here?” Shawn calls out from the end of the hallway, her head immediately shoots in his direction and holding out her arms she basically jumps into his arms.
“Daddy! Mommy caught me!” she happily informs him pointing at you.
“She did?” he dramatically gasps before pressing a sloppy kiss to both her cheeks.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in your spot? Concert starts in three,” you ask Shawn as he grimaces at Skylar, making her giggle over and over again.
“Yeah, but I wanted to kiss my girls before going on stage.”
Leaning closer to you he presses his lips to yours, taking your bottom lip between his and sucking on it gently.
“Ew! Stop it!” Skylar grimaces, her fingers sneaking between your and Shawn’s mouth in attempt to make you part.
“You want one too?” he asks grinning at her and before she could even say a word, you and him kiss her cheeks, squishing her face and making her giggle again.
“Alright, I gotta go. Love you both.”
He hands her back to you and she waves him goodbye as he runs off, ready to blow the stage up. This tour means a lot to him. It’s been three years since the last time he hit the road, Skylar was just a baby and after all the struggles you went through during that tour, traveling around the world with a baby, you both agreed you need some time before doing it again, wait until she is older and easier to travel with. He was worried sick before the tour officially kicked off, stressing about how Skylar will do with being on the road, being away from home, but it all went to nothing when he saw how carefree and joyful she has been. The girl literally only needs mommy, daddy and her blanket she sleeps with at night and nothing else matters to her, making it easy to travel from city to city.
“Come on, let’s check out daddy on stage,” you tell her heading towards the stage as she starts cheering in your arms.
You grab her pink ear muffler on the way, making sure the loud music is not damaging her hearing and taking your usual spot you watch Shawn take the stage like a tornado, enjoying every moment he spends with his fans.
Putting Skylar down you let her dance around your feet, jamming to the music like she always does, her yellow dress twirling around her tiny figure every time she swings her hips to the side. You reach into your pocket to grab your phone and start recording here from behind with Shawn in the background, jumping up and down. Opening your Instagram you upload the short clip with the title “she got it from her daddy” and let your one million followers adore her cuteness.
“Hey, Y/N!” Robb, one of the workers from the venue calls out for you. “The shower in Shawn’s dressing room is acting up, but there is another one in the next room. Will you tell him to use that when he is done?”
“Sure!” you smile at him and he is just about to turn around and move on when his eyes widen and your mother instinct immediately warns you that it’s something with Skylar.
Turning around you don’t see her around you anymore, instead, the toddler is running on the stage, right towards her dad, arms up in the air as she is screaming at him.
“Oh shit!” you gasp immediately leaping after her, but it’s kind of too late. She is sprinting so fast, making the band go all “wtf” at her as she is running towards Shawn who is at the front of the stage. All eyes are on you and her as the crowd starts screaming her name.
Shawn’s head snaps back and when he sees the little girl reaching for him at first panic sets in his face, but then he realizes nothing really happened to her. Picking her up he sees you and you mouth him a sorry, but he just smiles at you warmly.
“I turned away just for a second,” you explain, trying to speak loud over the screaming in the arena. Skylar couldn’t be less bothered, giggling at the people clapping for her, waving at them as if the whole show was hers.
“It’s alright,” Shawn assures you fixing her dress with one hand. “I have an idea,” he smiles at her and you don’t understand his intention, but you walk backstage anyway, letting him do whatever he has on his mind.
“We have a special guest tonight. Skylar wanted to say hello,” he chuckles into the mic and holding it to her she basically bites into it mumbling a sweet hi to the people.
Walking over to the piano at the back he sits her down next to him as his fingers slide over the keys.
“This one is for you, Princess,” he smiles down at her, eyes shining as she is staring up at her daddy with endless adoration.
When the melody of Queen’s Love Of My Life starts you can already feel the tears dwelling in your eyes. Despite the sad meaning of the song, Skylar loves it. The first time she heard Shawn sing it at a rehearsal she was just two, trooped over to him at the piano, plopped down on the ground and stared up at him with breathtaking devotion, eyes never leaving his face as he sang the song beautifully, making everyone watch them with love warming their body.
She reacts the same way this time. Her eyes glued to his face as he sings the lines, making the whole arena go silent watching the enchanting daddy-daughter moment, enjoying to be part of such a wonderful thing.
Moments like this reminds you of how deeply you love him, your love growing each day if that’s even possible. He never fails to amaze you till this day, even after all these years you’ve spent with him and you are just hoping you’ve given back enough to him with your actions and that he knows how much he means to you.
When the song ends and the tune of the piano comes to a halt people start screaming, go crazy as he wraps his army around the little girl, hugging her tight to his chest as he tiny hands hold onto his neck.
Struggling with your tears you walk back, taking Skylar from his hands he leans to you capturing your lips in a sweet kiss before you walk off, letting him continue with his next song.
You keep an eye on Skylar cautiously for the rest of the show, not wanting to let her interrupt the concert one more time, even though it’s pretty clear no one would mind it. Once it’s over, Shawn runs off the stage and Skylar is right there, waiting to jump into his arms.
“Daddy! You sang to me!” she giggles ash Shawn holds her high before sitting her to his hip.
“Did you like it?” he smiles at her playfully.
“Yes! Again! Again!” she chants making both of you chuckle.
“I’ll sing you something at bedtime, okay?” he offers and she accepts it happily. “Come on, let’s get going.”
An hour later she is passed out in the middle of the king sized bed, hands above her head, legs thrown in the weirdest position, just like she used to sleep when she was a baby. Shawn is lying next to her, one hand on her stomach as he is watching her sleep peacefully. You join them on the bed, kissing his forehead gently before making yourself comfortable.
“Have I told you how much I love you?” he whispers, his eyes peeking at you.
“Not in a few hours, if I remember correct,” you smirk at him, the corners of his mouth turning upward.
“Then I love you and thank you for everything you do for our daughter and me. It means the world to me.”
“You are doing just as much for me and her,” you smile back at him, nuzzling your head into the pillow.
“Will do it for the rest of my life, I promise.”
“I know,” you whisper back, closing your eyes.
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goddess-aelin · 4 years
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7x07 thoughts:
-Gabriel is SO HOT fuck
-sanctum sanctum sanctum blah blah blah
-ok at least we got acknowledgement of how fucked up it was to put the flame in madi
-oh god I’m going to throw the fuck up
-why. What is the point. Why do they make me fucking watch this with my own two damn ass eyes. I need to go do a saline rinse to cleanse this garbage from my eyes brb
-I take great pleasure in knowing that bellamys hair really looked like that the first time they kissed. Side note: whoever thought that hair was a good idea should be FIRED what thee fuck
-octavia calling e.choke family? LMAO. Bitch since WHEN. Tellin stories to Hope on the reg of how much she hated you and how ridiculous you were? But now we’re FaMiLY
-FINALLY got some acknowledgement of how fucked up it was for octavia to beat bellamy! Now only if she could apologize to him directly for that.
-look who it is...Nicky BANG BANG lmao
-mention tallies:
l/xa mentions: 56722
Lincoln mentions: 5
Wells mentions: 0
-jr Bourne as sheidheda is honestly funny. Like he’s so good but sheidheda as a character is laughable
-anyway where is clarke? Don’t you know shes the key?
-ok diyoza/hope fight yassss
-LAMIOOOOOOO IM WHEEZING
-THIS FUCJING SCENE YOU KNOW THE ONE
-OH GOD DO THEY THINK SHES SUPPOSED TO LOOK EPIC AND BADASS
-SHE LOOKS FUCKING STUPID AS HELL LMAO OMG bless you anders for being like what the fuck girl.
-Nelson you dummy
-idk I know people would rather Clarke fell to her knees but I really feel like that scene was enough. Falling to the knees might’ve been cheesy and I’m hoping we get some kind of crying or something in the future.
-look at you, anders, smiling while power walking and doing praise hands in your sassy little dress.
-*whispers* the key
-wow. Such shock. Really didn’t see this coming, Bill cadogan.
Overall: LMAO. Tbh I was laughing half this ep. directing? Great! The storyline is just so laughable at this point tho, no disrespect to the writer. Like what even is going on. I don’t care a bit about half of these characters! Most of them are new. And then there are these moments where they’re trying to be legitimately serious and epic and it’s just HILARIOUS. What even the fuck was that entire e/cho thing? Literally what? Not only did she look like she was being exorcised when crying but she also reminded me of Gollum from LOTR when she was sitting with her back turned, carving up her face and whispering to herself. Please do us a favor and be gone. I wasn’t interested in the cadogan story then and I’m not now. I really wish they’d do new stuff and not continuously tell us that there closing a specific storyline only to have it all relate back later. How are casual fans understanding any of this? I really need to come to tumblr to have everything explained to me. Imagine watching as it airs, never rewatching the show, and then coming into season 7? Wow. It’s a completely different show than before. Not in a good way either. Meh
Also, where the fuck is clarke. E/choke has had more scenes than she has! And that is a TRAVESTY.
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Janis & Jimmy
Janis: [AM of last day, after getting bollocked by Mr. Lucas for all the shenanigans they pulled in his room on his tings, 'cos he probably would've separated them, put them on different jobs or whatever] Janis: This is what we get for trying to help him with his fashion choices Jimmy: ungrateful knobhead, him Jimmy: soz you don't look 🥇 in green, sir Jimmy: get your own fake missus Janis: worked out so well the first time... 💍💔 Jimmy: 💰 on there being loads of Russian virgins in his area who wanna 🗨 Janis: when he's done 🤤💦 on his keyboard, Gracie can scalp them and make a new weave Janis: we all win Janis: personally 🥳 to spend that much time with him, like Jimmy: 👏🏆 Jimmy: me an' all, you I can take or leave, obvs Janis: I can epically dump you in front of his own 👀 Janis: win him back and all, bloody love that Jimmy: then when he rings my dad to relay this bollocking and owt else that takes his fancy they can get a bromance going and go for a 🍻 to slag me off Jimmy: chuffed to bits Jimmy: I'll have loads of time to crack onto them virgins myself Janis: LOVE that for them Janis: less about you being that sort of boy tbh, but we can try to work it into the storyline Jimmy: we can keep it between us, it's alright Janis: keep it between you and the Russian virgins, weirdo Jimmy: there ain't gonna be nowt between me and them Jimmy: no need to 💍💔 like our BFF Janis: not even a hymen Janis: romantic that Janis: put it in 🎶🎨📸🖋 boy Jimmy: no can do Jimmy: only got the one muse Janis: s'a insta caption if I ever heard one 💘 Jimmy: keep it in my back pocket for the next 🌧 day then Janis: yeah Janis: if we still need it then, plenty of time to 🗭 when you're meant to be writing lines instead, like Jimmy: where do you 🗭 you live, girl? It'll probably be 🌧 before we even get back Janis: always look on the ⛅ me Janis: just the positive person I am Jimmy: said before you're my ray of ☀ Janis: if I realized there would be a test, I would've studied, babe Janis: love a 🤓 moment, you Jimmy: piss off do I Jimmy: love nerd flirting with me, you Janis: maybe Janis: only 'cos it 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Mia so much Jimmy: wonder how that lad's feeling, if he can feel owt Janis: if it's anything like itchiness and stinging when he pisses, better get him home sooner rather than later Jimmy: really restored my faith in romance, that Jimmy: might have to try and 🎨📸🖋 any road Janis: not a subtle hint either, by the way Jimmy: what? Janis: never mind Jimmy: go on Janis: just saying not telling you you need to go get your dick swabbed, or whatever Janis: joking, obvs Jimmy: funny Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: not riddled with owt either in case you were waiting for that punchline an' all Janis: 👍 Janis: weren't, but always good to know these things Jimmy: there you go then Janis: genuinely ain't seen him today though so Janis: welfare check ain't far from the truth Jimmy: She'll have got 💀#2 and the rest to help her hide the body by now Janis: be hell to pay if they've messed up the turf here Janis: not taking the blame for that one, like Janis: got a 😇 rep to protect Jimmy: Oi, do it for the reconciliation with your true love Jimmy: full term ain't gonna be enough when it's that #deepandmeaningful Janis: I can think of plenty of ways to stay in trouble and he can think of even more punishments Janis: just that 😍😍 Jimmy: I get that you're fated, don't need to rub it in Jimmy: here I were reckoning we were the starcrossed ones but its been you and him all along Jimmy: 😭🎻💔 Janis: be such a good plotline if he were actually fit Janis: make the best of it but 🤢🤢 Jimmy: soz mate I can't talk to you for a bit Jimmy: that gutted I am Janis: piss poor excuse but alright Jimmy: how is our 💕 being a sham a piss poor excuse? bit rude Janis: you should be over the 🌙 Janis: what it's meant to be, we're #killingit Jimmy: you're killing me Janis: you 💘 that too Janis: so good to you Jimmy: that'll be why I wanna keep hold of you Jimmy: but alright, you can stop begging I'll fight him Janis: he's spoiling for it, like Janis: thought he might actually bust a blood vessel earlier Jimmy: ⚔️ Jimmy: Bill's 👻 will be dead proud Janis: make two of us #boydonegood Jimmy: you were rooting for him a bit ago Jimmy: #fakefan Janis: keep you on your toes Janis: or him Janis: adds to the mystique, yeah Jimmy: I'm 🥇🥊 and you're well fit and mysterious, save it Janis: 😏🤔 hang on Jimmy: ? Janis: not sure if we're yet at that #goals level of co-dependent where our personalities are interchangeable Jimmy: better hang about for a bit then Janis: gotta go home Janis: 😭🎻💔😭🎻💔 Jimmy: we've got all day that's loads of time Jimmy: chin up ☀ Janis: true Janis: gotta go out with a 💥 Jimmy: Started already with how optimistic I were there Jimmy: we'll do it piss easy Jimmy: no dickhead'll know who's who and who 🗭 what Janis: we LOVE morphing into one person! Jimmy: that's the spirit Jimmy: 👻 girl Janis: vampire boy Jimmy: fuck me, that ain't the one Jimmy: been pissed all over Janis: just can't let being 😎 go, can you Jimmy: you can't let me either, babe, it's #ultimategoals Janis: think of a new, better nickname then, brb Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [some kind of generator moment] Janis: what's grabbing ya? Jimmy: What kind of grab is it meant to be? Janis: something that screams YOU Janis: and #ultimategoals naturally Jimmy: 😏🤔 Janis: UGH, BABE Janis: so picky, omg 🤭 Jimmy: Baby, I'm sorry Jimmy: I just want it to be perfect Janis: YOU'RE perfect Jimmy: You Janis: think they'll let us work together today Jimmy: can't stop us, your ankle ain't healed itself in the night Janis: and what is a top boyfriend if not a glorified crutch Jimmy: when he's as 💪🏆 as me it ain't even a job, just comes that natural Janis: write that on the review Jimmy: Alright Janis: might count as a reference Janis: wouldn't you just LOVE to work here Jimmy: 🚫☕😱😱 Jimmy: #whoamI? Janis: it's like your whole personality is just...gone?? Janis: 😬 Jimmy: that apron is my WHOLE identity Jimmy: can't even 👀 me now 👻💔 Janis: 🤚 💘 ✋ Jimmy: you need to come here I'm FREAKING OUT!! Janis: alright Janis: hold tight Jimmy: can't, I'm just a floating pair of shades Janis: float towards me then Jimmy: [does, soz not soz Mr Lucas] Janis: [being extra checking he's still here] Jimmy: [being extra too like can you feel this] Janis: [😳 to make it clear you do] Jimmy: [taking the deepest breath ever like oh I'm so relieved but really we just gotta calm down whenever we see the bae] Janis: [when you slept together and slept together before being rudely awoken by Mr Lucas so we all need moments] Jimmy: [how dare you sir, but we just holding her like I gotta so I don't float away and disappear so you can't ruin it bye] Janis: [snuggling him like I got you] Jimmy: [brb having emotions me and Jimothy both because he's just thinking this will be over after today hence not letting go] Janis: [we're all gutted and tryna pretend we ain't] Jimmy: [don't cry though boy there's no styling that out] Janis: [I think that some popular kid should invite them to a party that's like, soon as they get back today or whatever so it's like prolonging this day but they still think that'll be it but then they slay that party obvs so then they end up doing all they do in the hols] Jimmy: [I love that and it makes perfect sense] Janis: 😎😎 #confirmed Jimmy: THANK GOD Jimmy: touch and go for a bit there, weren't it? Janis: 🥣 Janis: juuuuuuust right, goldilocks Jimmy: Oi it's daddy 🐻 or nowt Janis: [😂] Janis: not 💀👑 Janis: can't sign off on that Jimmy: [IRL pout] Jimmy: 💔 Janis: what about baby 🐻 Janis: compromise Jimmy: [🖋 in the air like he's signing off on it] Janis: [👍] Jimmy: have we earned a fucking break yet or what? Jimmy: takes the piss, this Janis: 🚬🚬 Janis: reckon so Janis: [getting up even if we gotta lie about a pissbreak or whatever] Jimmy: [likewise because no fucks given at this point or ever like I gotta give her a hand she can't walk if anyone cares] Janis: [big sigh like thank god] Jimmy: [we outta here for however long we can get away with suck it sir] Janis: [take that break lads] Jimmy: [gotta sit down purely so he can put her ankle up on his leg cos gotta elevate that] Janis: ['how's it looking, less fat?'] Jimmy: [little lol but 👀ing at it 'how's it feel, any less of a ball ache?'] Janis: [nods 'like it never happened' not quite but you know] Jimmy: ['I can finally sign off of nursing you back to health then' when you keep thinking about the end of this but emphasis on finally like thank fuck] Janis: ['mission accomplished' like everyone is so 😍 for it and that's the only reason you did] Jimmy: ['post us my award when you get chance, nowt to rush over' with a shrug] Janis: ['got to make it first'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like there we are merging again cos he's an art hoe] Janis: [little 😏 'wait 'til you see it, like'] Jimmy: ['can't' cos so excited clearly] Janis: [shakes her head like oh you Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['what are you gonna do when you get out then?' taking a drag on that 🚬] Jimmy: ['the question were meant to be what are you in for' and likewise] Janis: [look like, if you feel like answering that, go ahead] Jimmy: [a look in the direction of wherever they saw Mr Lucas last like there's that answer] Janis: [rolls eyes in said direction 'same'] Jimmy: [an exaggerated what can you do? gesture] Janis: [finger gun in her mouth like pow] Jimmy: [😍 and 💔 mime before doing his own finger gun against his head] Janis: [miming waking up miraculously like whoopsie] Jimmy: [playing dead dramatically] Janis: [moving closer to shake him like noooooo] Jimmy: [playing even deader give him an oscar tbh] Janis: [fake slapping him across the face in that dramatic way they do] Jimmy: ['I get it, you're going for the oscar' but said as he still lies in his dead position] Janis: ['nah, just really wanna slap ya' but we're cradling his head in our lap] Jimmy: [looking up at her 'go on then'] Janis: [pushes his face away like no] Jimmy: [gets up like alright, suit yourself] Janis: [awkward silence] Jimmy: [we just 🚬] Janis: [checking the DMs etc] Jimmy: [checking in with Cass and to see if Ian's kicking off yet] Janis: [hold on sir, they back soon] Jimmy: [thank god they're going straight to that party] Janis: [lol soz about it] Jimmy: [lol not soz about it] Janis: [can potentially skip to bus home it's up to you/if you have any ideas for before they leave?] Jimmy: [I feel like we should do a final activity they can slay as a team/duo because haven't been able to since day 1 and that's rude] Janis: [I vibe, potentially should have a flat white on the team too though] Jimmy: [let's have Ella because she'd be devastated] Janis: [so much deadweight on this team, have to actually swag it despite your real injury] Jimmy: [that was my thought, cos maybe another random girl who's also useless for different reasons] Janis: [pop off lads carry team to undeserved victory] Jimmy: [love that for you, happy nerds] Janis: [now go pack your things] Jimmy: 🏆🥇💪💕 Jimmy: well impressive, you Janis: 🤤😍 genuine ✔ Jimmy: Oi, take my genuine compliment, dickhead Janis: let me be genuinely grateful how I wanna be, boy Janis: maybe I got you a prize for being 🏆🥇💪 yourself Jimmy: Soz girl, didn't realise you had Ben in there helping you pack Jimmy: come find me for the #🎁reveal in a bit Jimmy: 🤞 he ain't it Janis: well, rude and ungrateful Janis: poor Ben just wants a fond sexual experience to look back on to avoid the PTSD Jimmy: him and that lad Mia killed, they'll have to couple up Janis: in therapy, maybe Janis: have to wait 'til the bus now Janis: back to the drawing board 😤 Jimmy: I said soz Janis: 😏 Janis: sincere Jimmy: I know Jimmy: right from my 💘 that Janis: as is my gift Jimmy: 👍 Janis: better react more than that Jimmy: make me, Juliet Janis: not giving you a fake handjob under the hoodie Janis: classier than that, ty Jimmy: don't sound goals enough Jimmy: it were you who said go out with a 💥 not a 💦 Janis: exactly Janis: 🤯 Jimmy: be alright, no need to impress me, just the #fans Jimmy: piss easy that Janis: no need maybe Janis: want, obviously Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: so real Jimmy: as real as you want Janis: depends Jimmy: on what? Janis: you seen 💀👑 & #2 leave their room yet? Jimmy: haven't been 👀 Janis: we could say goodbye to their room, like Janis: if they have Jimmy: hang on Janis: 👍 Jimmy: they're in Asia's, should've guessed she can't pack by herself Jimmy: be like getting a hyper kid to do it Janis: can't have her leaving behind her toothbrush Janis: essential in every way Janis: you wanna then? Jimmy: do you wanna? Janis: was my idea Jimmy: so come on Janis: [meet there kids] Jimmy: [what a good idea and a #mood boo] Janis: [when it's not even the place you are first meant to have hooked up, but the actual, so we all know what you're saying there gal] Jimmy: [checking under Mia's pillow to see if those pills are still there in case the bae needs them] Janis: ['toothfairy?' 😏 'probably fit to crumble out soon'] Jimmy: [exaggerated shudder that's not that exaggerated because Mia is that gross and we're tucking the pills back in her pocket for that intimate moment ™] Janis: [just looking down at said pocket] Jimmy: [looking at her like ? cos you think she doesn't want them/is offended] Janis: [shaking her head like never mind] Jimmy: ['what?' cos we're not letting it drop] Janis: [shushing him and hopping on that bed like, what we're here for] Jimmy: [getting on the bed too but still lowkey like are you mad at me thoooooo] Janis: [waiting for him to make the first move, 'cos he's either gonna just do it or 📸 out] Jimmy: [does not get his 📸 out and kisses her anyway] Janis: [live your best life lads, though you should be stopped by one of them coming back 'cos forgot something] Jimmy: [1000000000% agree] Janis: [we know either would make sufficient fuss that everyone knows yet again how #goals and #inlove you're being so mission accomplished but you still mad you been cockblocked we know] Jimmy: [especially because you think that was your last chance cos for real not gonna hook up on the coach however much you wanna] Janis: [mhmmmm] Jimmy: [at least you're allowed to be 😒 as both Mia and Ella would be so annoying about it] Janis: [at least you know that calling Pablo is not goals this time 'round bitch] Jimmy: [spare us and also at least Grace can be sitting on her own again because she's on the shit list after this trip so don't have to deal with any of y'all] Janis: [we all know you cheated sloog] Jimmy: [anyway a girl flirting with Jimothy by inviting him to her party as they are waiting to get on this coach, how rude madam, Janis is right there] Janis: [😒 on this bus] Jimmy: [nudging her cos you know they sitting next to each other] Janis: [just getting your phone out and doing that thing where you raise your head but not your eyes like so non-commital can I help you?] Jimmy: ? Janis: what? Jimmy: What? Janis: you capitalizing at me? Jimmy: I did do Janis: still doesn't make your point any clearer though Jimmy: don't take the piss Janis: [looks up like whatttttt] Jimmy: [whispers 'what's wrong?' in her ear so that they don't get outted for casually having a domestic and also because it's a saucy thing to do] Janis: ['nothing' but taking the trouble to whisper back] Jimmy: [leaning in like he's gonna whisper again but moving her hair out of the way and playing with it as we do obvs and drawing a ? on the skin that he uncovers cos he don't believe you gal] Janis: [acting like that tickled well more than it possibly could to get out of answering, like omg stop it] Jimmy: [actually does tickle her then like tell me] Janis: [loling and kicking like watch out] Jimmy: [just making sure her ankle is okay like steady on] Janis: [🙄 but with that fake affection like this boy] Jimmy: [snuggling into her like yeah I know I'm so extra but it's only because I'm so 😍 but really we are hiding that we're annoyed she won't tell him what's wrong] Janis: [patting his head which is such blatant there there vibes we know] Jimmy: [hidden 😒] Janis: you gonna go then? Jimmy: fancy it? Janis: I weren't invited Jimmy: I just invited you Janis: not your party to be inviting people to Jimmy: you don't wanna come then? Janis: not what I said Jimmy: what you said sounded like some health and safety bollocks though so Jimmy: no need to run the numbers, mate Janis: if I was wanted, she'd have asked herself, sat right here weren't I Jimmy: if I want you, will you stop sitting there with a face on? Janis: not the point, is it Janis: [but looks up like ?] Jimmy: isn't it? Janis: do you want to go? Jimmy: where's your answer? Janis: ♟ Jimmy: [another nudge] Janis: [nudges him back with her bad foot like try me] Jimmy: [looks down at it with a furrowed brow] Jimmy: I get it, you're 💔 you can't dance Jimmy: should've said Janis: fuck off am I Janis: sure you're well 😎 on the dancefloor Jimmy: [😏 even though we know he can't dance she doesn't yet so] Jimmy: Alright, you like to watch #kinkunlocked Janis: 😒 Janis: no, and you can tell your mate that and all Jimmy: I don't reckon Bill's 👻 is that fussed, Jules Jimmy: tends to give the directions, him Janis: 🐻 Jimmy: 👋 Janis: oh no, the bear has eaten your face off Jimmy: @ Mia's dad Jimmy: gonna need compensation Janis: it is your only 💰 maker Jimmy: bit rude Janis: blame the 🐻 for being a bear, alright Jimmy: blame you for bringing him about, more like Janis: it's your dad Janis: baby 🐻 Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Jimmy: he's got competition for being the biggest dickhead of a dad 🎻 Janis: a competition most dads 'round here could go in for Jimmy: 🤞 Mia's wins Janis: what's the prize? Jimmy: golf clubs Jimmy: you can 💀💀💀 'em when you've had enough Janis: fun for all the family Janis: won at life so sure he will again Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't be 💔 Jimmy: I ain't my 2 dads are Janis: Lucas will take 'em for a pint Jimmy: he got any kids? could enter an' all Janis: dunno Janis: be like older than my mum if they are Janis: 'less he's having loads on the sly Jimmy: all them poor Russian virgins 🤰👶 Jimmy: like a factory Janis: ain't sending 'em no rubles Jimmy: real 💔 that Janis: mhmm Janis: you wanna add to their woes by trying to flirt with them Janis: shameful Jimmy: I don't flirt with no lass, they crack onto me Janis: oh god Jimmy: deny it Jimmy: [shows her all the DMs like see] Janis: that's girls who are ⬇ you Janis: not girls you're interested in Jimmy: not actually interested in any Russian virgins, soz to burst your bubble, dickhead Janis: more fool you Jimmy: fill your own boots, like Jimmy: loads in the area if the ads are owt to go by Janis: 🖕🖕 Janis: need neither your leftovers nor your permission, tah Jimmy: you're alright, I weren't offering neither Janis: fill your own boots, like Janis: case and point Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: you sound like 💀👑 Jimmy: you can have my permission to go to law school if you're gonna keep being a twat Janis: piss off Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: 👋 Janis: [like we ain't sat together Jimmy: give me a bell when you've graduated harvard or wherever Jimmy: might come in handy Janis: sounds about right Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: meaning if I went off and got a law degree, I don't reckon I'd have time to fake date you Jimmy: never said that you'd have to Janis: whatever favour you need then then Jimmy: forget it, I'll use the free time I'll have when you've done one to win over Mia's dad Janis: 💡 Jimmy: 🥇 as per, me Jimmy: no need to go on about it, babe Janis: keep dreaming, new boy Jimmy: [puts his head on her shoulder and closes his eyes like okay then] Janis: [sigh like it's contented] Jimmy: [staying put stubbornly even though he obviously isn't going to sleep lol] Janis: [leaving this for a bit but then] Janis: we probably should Janis: if you're going, I mean Janis: should go together Jimmy: weren't planning to Jimmy: but if you wanna Janis: not hugely but Janis: if we didn't, we'd have to think up something more goals to be doing instead of or they'd fill in the blank of it Janis: this is the easiest option Jimmy: right Jimmy: and she don't want you there, so you should be Janis: bit petty but Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: you said it, you were there when she asked me Janis: yeah Janis: don't care if she wants to suck you off though, do I Jimmy: don't you? Janis: suppose in theory I have to Jimmy: just fake the 😒 face you had on a bit ago, that'll do Janis: I'd rather smack her Janis: but I know how to do it, been here the whole time, like Jimmy: go on, long as you don't fuck up your decent ankle there's no need for me to hold you back or up Janis: not the kind of fake girlfriend I am Jimmy: suit yourself Janis: it'd make you look good, and me like a dick Jimmy: didn't say you had to do it with an audience Janis: don't matter Janis: not gonna tell everyone she tripped, is she Jimmy: Dunno, don't know her Janis: girls aren't like that Janis: a lad has pride and will keep their mouth shut Jimmy: leave it out with her then Jimmy: like you said, what do you care? all just bollocks Janis: like I said, you come out fine, she treated me like a twat, that's why Janis: she don't know I don't care, that's the point Jimmy: Alright, let's make her look a bigger twat Jimmy: how? Janis: Good question Jimmy: 🗭💡🥇 Jimmy: What'd get to a lass like her? 🤔 Janis: if her party was a flop Jimmy: we could do that Janis: can we do that without everyone else knowing it's us doing that though Janis: that's the trick Jimmy: we got caught doing all that bollocks 'cause we wanted to Janis: 'course Jimmy: challenge accepted then Jimmy: but it won't be Janis: naturally she'll be well devastated when you don't shag her Jimmy: She'll live Janis: 😢 but aiming for 😭 so we need the rest Jimmy: every dickhead knows I only want you by now Jimmy: she's taking the piss Janis: yeah Jimmy: you'll live an' all Janis: don't be telling me what to do Janis: 😏 Jimmy: wouldn't be very #goals that Janis: you're telling me Janis: though they'd like it Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ you my instructions Jimmy: they can give it a like Janis: 🤮🤮🤮 Janis: some things work better as a DM, babe Jimmy: [DM's her but it just says hey] Janis: 😂 Janis: don't quit your day job to become a master, like Jimmy: don't need your permission either, Judith Janis: you'll need loads of training Jimmy: piss off will I Janis: 👌👌 Janis: calm down Janis: not given me nothing to go on there Jimmy: [gives her something 🔥🔥 to go on cos challenge accepted] Janis: no need for that Jimmy: you said I hadn't given you nowt Jimmy: there you go Jimmy: 🎁💕 Janis: [a LOOK] Janis: just Janis: rude Jimmy: [a LOOK back cos always] Jimmy: you gonna give me the one you owe me at this party or what? Janis: nah, have it now, hold on Janis: [my idea was something she stole from someone's room that she didn't put in the collective kitty but I can't fully think what yet] Jimmy: [I'll let you off cos I've been there and whatever it is he's gonna be shooketh in a good way so] Janis: [hmm, maybe a screw off Mia's bed, something like that, like no reason to but for the mems] Jimmy: [when you can just kiss her because there's a coach full of people about to use as the excuse we're past needing] Janis: [enjoy that as you fully got cockblocked earlier lads and you aren't over it] Jimmy: [even if some idiot cheers you won't care] Janis: [didn't even when it was fully 'fake' so not caring now you actually wanna] Jimmy: [exactly and likewise what is Mr Lucas gonna do, you're already in detention forever] Janis: [nearly home just leave 'em alone for a hot sec sir] Jimmy: [you'll regret it if you don't sir because they'd be fuming] Janis: [already tieless so watch out] Jimmy: [I doubt they're the only couple on this entire trip so calm down] Janis: [even if most people would have a shade more decorum 'cos not tryna be THE couple, still lol] Jimmy: [at least Pablo didn't come on the trip because he and Mia are the anti couple] Janis: [thank god he's in the year above if we stick to when he was born before] Jimmy: [might as well tbh] Janis: [we know the twins were the biggest mistake of all soz ladies] Jimmy: [not forgiving Caleb for treating Ali like that in her grief] Janis: [yeah that was fucked hence no one can grieve you properly, along with the rest] Jimmy: [anyways he should teach her some more sign language insults because people on this coach are annoying af] Janis: [doing it at this girl] Jimmy: [he'd be so amused] Janis: [so jealous] Jimmy: [she's so brazen like they are the talk of this trip gal what do you think you're doing] Janis: [when you think you that bad, I think not honey] Jimmy: [egg on your face when he brings her to your party and they make sure you're a flop] Janis: [makes your party all about them, like have you been here on this trip or] Jimmy: [love it, it's what you deserve for trying to make Janis look a fool/steal her man] Janis: [tbh] Jimmy: [is there any other coach moments/convos we wanna have?] Janis: [we probably got the jealousy across well, and it's bound to be more of the shameless kissing 'cos you can vibe? so we can probably skip to when they've had to go home for the hottest of secs before this party?] Jimmy: [I'm fine with that cos you know he gotta go sort his siblings out and have a fight with Ian if he's there or steal his stash again if he's not on top of putting on a #lewk for this party] Janis: [exactly, likewise you do have to see your mum for a hot sec and slay on this hoe now obvs] Jimmy: [sends her a ridiculous outfit selfie of something he's absolutely not gonna wear to this party cos he's a nerd] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: so torn between telling you it's perfect and the fact I will have to pretend I'm 😍 to see you Jimmy: you have to pretend you're 😍 to see me any road Janis: yeah Janis: sadly only think it's funny if it makes your life harder though, not mine so Jimmy: back to the drawing board Janis: 😱 the 😎 isn't effortless?! Janis: 💔 Jimmy: not trying to please myself, just you Jimmy: nowt effortless about that Janis: you calling me high-maintenance? Jimmy: if the 😒 fits, Julie Janis: not gonna apologize for having standards, new boy Jimmy: weren't asking you to Janis: wouldn't be wise Janis: that outfit come with a 🤐? Jimmy: [sends her a selfie of him with his hoodie zipped over his head like this one does] Janis: much better Janis: some would say 👍 Jimmy: *🥇 Jimmy: Good job I've got 2 then Janis: s'alright, not gonna keep it for the mems Janis: took 2 🔩s Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say it were alright 'cause you took Helena's meds out the pocket Janis: that goes without saying Janis: who am I Jimmy: exactly why it threw me for a sec, mate Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: What you rolling your eyes at me for? Janis: not a druggie, tah very much Jimmy: never said you necked 'em, did I? Janis: whatever Jimmy: don't get another strop on Janis: don't you start Janis: leave it, alright Janis: meet you outside hers Jimmy: Alright Janis: are all that lot invited too? Jimmy: Dunno Janis: not gonna hope but Jimmy: 🤞 they are or ain't? Janis: had enough of 'em for a lifetime Janis: but 🐓 🦃 🦚 🦜 🦢 🦩 one stone Jimmy: could 📌 it on 'em why the party was shite Janis: not a stretch at all, yeah Janis: my sister's parties are famously shit and they all get wasted after a drink Jimmy: 🤞 they got their golden tickets an' all then Janis: 💀👑 the type to invite herself regardless Jimmy: 💰💰💰 Janis: shameless Janis: got that in common with the hostess anyway Jimmy: she another rich girl? Janis: no idea Jimmy: you know owt about her? Janis: nothing we can use, I don't reckon Janis: barely know who she is, if I'm honest Jimmy: be alright, crap parties are a piece of piss compared to 😎🚬 ones Janis: standard, you mean an' all Jimmy: goes without saying Janis: you been a party here yet? Jimmy: don't need to have to stand by what I said Janis: same wherever you end up, yeah Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: people are predictable Jimmy: weren't hoping any of these knobheads would impress me, don't worry Janis: not a rep to make sure you're having an AMAZING time Jimmy: only with you, that's why it's #goals Janis: naturally Janis: #notlikeothergirls is the branding to go for Jimmy: no ❄ though, that's Mia's dad's Janis: gonna stop pushing now, are you Janis: good to know Jimmy: piss off Janis: no need to be aggy Jimmy: but there's every need for you to have a go, is there? Janis: who said I was having a go Janis: joke, relax new boy Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't be moody Jimmy: stop doing my head in Janis: fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🖕👋 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: not okay to use my own move against me Jimmy: go on then, tell me my every move Janis: not 💀👑 Jimmy: could use the same 🥺😢😭😤😠😡🤬🤯 scale still Janis: go on then Janis: where are you Jimmy: 🥺 obvs Janis: if anyone asks, same Jimmy: I am asking, dickhead Janis: we're telling the truth now? Jimmy: Why not? Janis: why are you 🥺 then? Jimmy: you ain't answered where you are Janis: solid 😤 Jimmy: There you go, that'll be why I'm 🥺 Janis: yeah, I'm that easily deterred Janis: what's up Jimmy: What's up with you? Janis: is there a punchline or? Jimmy: 🤡🥊 Janis: 😤 is my 😒 Jimmy: so you're alright? Janis: yeah, I'll survive Janis: your turn Jimmy: What? Janis: to answer Jimmy: I did do Janis: properly Jimmy: you heard me, it's your fault ☀ Janis: it ain't Jimmy: Why do you want me to move across to 😭? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: ugh Janis: be like that Jimmy: UGH yourself babes Janis: just trying to entertain myself on this bus Janis: you're NO help Jimmy: what kind of help are you after? Janis: 🤡🤡🤡 Jimmy: [sends her whatever DM the girl who invited him to this party has sent him since said invite] Janis: cringe Jimmy: You wanna reply to it? Janis: as me or you? Jimmy: whichever one suits you, babe Janis: [writes something from him about really looking forward to the party so she thinks she's in/more sting when it flops] Janis: send that then Jimmy: [does and shows her that it's sent] Janis: 👍👍 Janis: might need to mute her 'til we get there now though Jimmy: are you gonna be my mate again now? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: what are the perks like? Jimmy: that the kind of mate you are? Janis: just saying, if my deal is better being your fake girlfriend Janis: got to consider these things Jimmy: if you can't handle being both Jimmy: not very 🥇 of you but alright Janis: you just can't get enough of me Jimmy: I get it, you can't 🤹 Jimmy: have to leg it off to the 🎪 on my own 🎻💔 Janis: 🦁 tamer Janis: you're already the 🤡 and I can't grow a beard either so Jimmy: can't be a 🤡 and a 🐻!!!!!!!!! Jimmy: #whoamI? Janis: omg babes Janis: existential crisis o'clock! Jimmy: 😱😱😱😱😱 Janis: drag me for trying to pick between 💘 or 🤗 Janis: you're SUCH a mess, no offense Jimmy: none taken obvs Janis: fine, friendzone me Jimmy: can't win with you today Janis: bit rude Janis: if you wanna do party girl, then just let me dump you Jimmy: if I wanted to I just wouldn't have invited you Janis: no, because that's not the deal Janis: we both agreed already Jimmy: I know what the deal is, tah very much Janis: it's a compliment Janis: i'm saying you ain't a complete 🐍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: yeah Janis: that's the plan Jimmy: What time do you want me to meet you in the 🦁 den then? Janis: there's a bus stop like five minutes from hers Janis: meet me there at Janis: do we wanna be fashionably late for the 😎 or on time ish to sabotage some more? 🤔 Jimmy: I got nowt else on Janis: alright so [the earlier side of a party starting] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: asked Grace, they are going Janis: made a big Thing™ of getting ready all of 'em without her so Jimmy: charming Janis: yeah well she knows what she did, like 🔪🔪🔪 Jimmy: I get it 🩸🩸🩸 on her own hands not coming out our 💘s Janis: now she's not gonna throw herself at you for Mia's amusement, sorta served her purpose Janis: 'til the next one, obvs Jimmy: I should've made better ☕ my bad, Gracie Janis: 🙄 Janis: obvs Jimmy: what's obvs is that she don't order a latte to support my 🎨 Jimmy: Mia should've known it'd never be a goer Janis: weird, beige is right up her alley Jimmy: her order don't come out purple or owt, don't worry Janis: even I could gather that Jimmy: I can't give you a 🏆 but Janis: could if you put some coffee in it Jimmy: rather put 🥃 in there but alright Janis: when you're off the 🕥 Jimmy: I didn't realise your plan to fuck this party up was that I serve ☕ Jimmy: 🥇💡 Jimmy: get traced right back to 💀👑 Janis: never work Janis: it's your 2nd biggest 😍 pull Jimmy: good job the only 🕥 I'm on is yours then Janis: safe to say the way you froth does not have me doing the same Jimmy: such a way with words, you Jimmy: SO romantic Janis: has been said Jimmy: TOTALLY won't be 💭💕😍 when I am at work tomorrow, tah Janis: you're welcome for the distraction and the third degree burns Jimmy: how #goals Janis: get to get my own back and nurse you SO HARD Jimmy: you're welcome that I'll be a well easier patient than you Janis: what I'm hearing is lazy Jimmy: you sound like a Tory, I'll go if you've got Mia's dad in another 🗨 like Janis: who could compete Janis: I understand 🥉 Jimmy: 👋 Janis: Can't believe he's so ugly Janis: if you're gonna risk incest, like Jimmy: What 'cause she's so fit it's a massive shock? Janis: 🙄 yeah, you worked that out Jimmy: I know it'll be a struggle but don't dump me for her Janis: shut up Janis: if I was gay, I'd have taste Jimmy: at least 🥉 Jimmy: she ain't on the podium Janis: thanks for your professional opinion Janis: I'm not gonna get someone else involved in this charade Jimmy: but I'm lazy? Alright 😏 Janis: gotta break the ⛓ Janis: tah Jimmy: 💔 that your 🏆💪 were just some bollocks rumour Janis: not carrying you around either Janis: 💀 from 💔 Jimmy: I heard you, wanting me to lie down and 💀💀💀 in the dirt, weren't it? Jimmy: ✔💕 Janis: 🥺🙏 Jimmy: I'll let your bus roll over me Jimmy: job done Janis: be waiting a while Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Janis: slowburn? Jimmy: love a bit of a waiting game, me Jimmy: 🏆 best dad ever 🏆 for pissing about with this will we, won't we fuck off out of here Jimmy: if you're gonna risk incest Janis: how sweet of him Jimmy: right Janis: gutted my ma got that all out of her system when I was 👶 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: mhmm Janis: but alright with not having to have them tag along Jimmy: 🍻 to that Janis: how's your brother Jimmy: did you get an SOS 🦇 girl? Janis: nah Janis: just asking Jimmy: [sends her sign language stuff on how to ask how someone is so she could ask if she wanted to] Janis: alright, alright Janis: 🖕👋 would suffice Jimmy: it were you who said you wanted something to do 🥱🚍 Jimmy: have a go Janis: what if one of these old bags knows it too then I'm stuck in a conversation Jimmy: call me, I'll sort it out Jimmy: but 🖕👋 would probably suffice there an' all Janis: 😱 Janis: shocking behaviour Janis: I would NEVER Jimmy: if you get it right you can ask that lass how's she's doing when her party goes tits up Jimmy: so crack on Janis: 😒 hmm Janis: manipulative but alright Jimmy: are you gonna be mardy about her all night? Janis: obviously not Janis: how would that make me look Jimmy: I meant here 🗨 @ me Janis: I'm not being mardy Jimmy: 😒 you Janis: you all the time Janis: not taking it personally, am I Jimmy: told you before, I ain't a mind reader Janis: I'm not mardy at you Jimmy: Okay Janis: It's her, I told you Jimmy: Yeah Janis: dunno what her problem with me is Jimmy: she don't look as good in green as Mr Lucas, massive problem, that Janis: she can see him after class and take it up with him, like Jimmy: long as he don't stick her in detention with us Janis: then I will be 😒 with you Jimmy: baby 🥺 Janis: wanna be alone with you and Mr Lucas, obvs Jimmy: duh, you'll have gone 3 weeks without him by then Jimmy: near torture Janis: don't remind me 💔 Jimmy: I'll have to send him a 💌 when I go Janis: we're not sharing Jimmy: you're alright, I don't reckon he'll be about having a LDR with me Jimmy: he's very physical Janis: not 🥈 Janis: just 'cos you've pissed off Jimmy: you're 🥈 with me here Janis: fuck right off Jimmy: There she is, my 🦘🥊 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😍😍😍 look better with bruises Jimmy: your blatant kink, that Jimmy: 🔓 Janis: just true Janis: the less you look like you the better, DUH Jimmy: any excuse to wear my 😎 suits me Janis: true 💘 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: did you go for the hoodie then? Jimmy: is it a dealbreaker? Janis: could be Jimmy: I could grab it then Janis: what are you wearing Jimmy: Don't you wanna wait and see? Janis: I'll still be able to fake my 😍 without the surprise Jimmy: [a selfie of whatever lewk he's serving] Janis: yeah Janis: good job 👍 Jimmy: Tah Janis: don't you wanna make sure I look okay? Jimmy: don't need to Janis: I could totally shame you Jimmy: you couldn't Janis: trust 💪🏆 Jimmy: I don't care what you've got on, not a mean lass Janis: just getting it off, gotcha Jimmy: just leave out spending it about, not very #goals of me Janis: couldn't be non-goals if we tried Janis: bar's that low tonight Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: mhmm Jimmy: show me then Janis: [going relatively hard here we can presume because these basics ALWAYS do so you need to do it but better] Jimmy: [I likewise think he's gone harder than he would so I vibe it] Janis: [we out here] Jimmy: [pinterest has cockblocked me as usual] Janis: [I've not looked yet but we know the vibes] Jimmy: Oi Janis: what you oi'ing at? Jimmy: you can't be saying the bar's that low and giving me that Janis: what do you mean Jimmy: I mean you know what you're doing wearing something so 🏆 worthy Janis: yeah, I do know what I'm doing Janis: you can trust in that Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 😏 Janis: you can say I look fuckable, it's the point Jimmy: and you reckoned it were me displaying shocking behaviour a bit ago Jimmy: 🧼👄 Janis: must've been wishful thinking then 😇🤓 Jimmy: I get it, your SO 🥱🚍 you've gotta take the piss now Jimmy: stop thinking about me, girl Janis: guilty Jimmy: 👮🚔 Jimmy: you just wanna be back in chains of any sort, well predictable you Janis: gotta practice having this shit on 🔒 Janis: lads don't even wanna claim 'em after, never mind hold 'em down Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: chuffed to be your lab 🐀 Joan Janis: never poured acid in your 👀s Janis: lucky little 🐀 boy Jimmy: Tah for not doing owt to the 👂 growing out my back an' all Jimmy: know what you're like, lucky it's still attached Janis: gives you character Janis: pick you out of a lineup with your fellow whiteboys Jimmy: #newschoolnewme Janis: wait 'til I make a little maze for you, buzzing, you'll be Jimmy: 🎨🏆🥇 Janis: and 💪 Janis: combination of our 💘s #SUCHgoals Jimmy: we did it, we merged!! 👏👏 Janis: 5 WHOLE 👂S!!!! Jimmy: can't top that, might as well turn that bus around and go home, mate Janis: Okay Keanu Jimmy: no dickhead can deny that outfit could stop traffic Janis: smooth Jimmy: til you 🤮 Janis: not gonna get that wasted, even if I look like 'em Jimmy: Duh pisshead, I meant from the hard braking Jimmy: and you don't look like them Janis: I'm 💪 Jimmy: SUCH an athlete, yeah, I've heard Jimmy: it were bollocks though, don't rub that in again, tah Janis: the 1994 film or my athleticism? Janis: either way, how DARE you Jimmy: Both obvs Jimmy: I'll dry your eyes if you do mine Janis: not hot Janis: 👎 Jimmy: weren't what I were going for Jimmy: you're on one, not me Janis: you're trying to get me to 🤬 Janis: but I've got Helena's 💊s so you can't bring me ⬇ Jimmy: say that again when I'm carrying you down them bus steps Janis: that won't look kidnappy at all Jimmy: is that you trying to put me off? Jimmy: have another go Janis: 👠 are great weapons Jimmy: nowt I don't already know Jimmy: had a girlfriend before Janis: sure she couldn't kick as well as me Janis: whatever you reckon Jimmy: no need, just chucked 'em at me instead Janis: under or over? Jimmy: @ her if you want tips Janis: no tah Janis: not that bitch that stalks all your exes to make sure they're fatter than me Jimmy: only got the one, wouldn't take you long Janis: yeah? Janis: still Janis: sounds delightful and my inbox is full enough Jimmy: mine an' all Jimmy: delighted for us, she is Janis: you probably can't tell her it's fake, yeah Janis: usually wouldn't be an issue with her being miles away but love to break that scandal by the sounds of Janis: 😬 Jimmy: weren't planning to tell her nowt Janis: if it gets her to 😶 Jimmy: less than nowt would do Janis: fairplay Janis: know the sort Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 is her sort Jimmy: why we were such a #goals match Janis: only like magnets Janis: you attract 💔🎻😭 Janis: clearly Jimmy: what I get for being SUCH a 😒🌧 lad Jimmy: just that northern Janis: teach you how to be ☀ obvs Jimmy: reckon you've got enough time, do you? Janis: reckon I'm that good Jimmy: it don't matter what you reckon, bighead Janis: rude Jimmy: you can't give yourself the 🏆 Janis: I'm the only one who's opinion I trust so Janis: seems fake Jimmy: that's me out of a job then and your Tory heart 💔 Janis: well I'm sure it'd be top goals to change my mind Jimmy: I wouldn't put any 💰 on it if I were you Jimmy: unless Mia's dad is paying Janis: probably LOVES gambling on poor kids Jimmy: goes without saying Janis: wonder if any of our other pals are gonna show Jimmy: Depends how selective she were with the invites Jimmy: be quality if she's betting on it just being me and her Janis: oh Christ, don't Jimmy: it's alright, I ain't worried about chucking her out of her own house Janis: that's easy regardless Janis: slightly smaller scale Janis: gotta secure her room asap, also goes without saying Jimmy: but you still said it Janis: it was thick, nor Northern, right? Jimmy: I know what I'm doing an' all Janis: I know Janis: I said you looked good too Jimmy: I heard what you said and I weren't 🎣 Janis: 🤏 Janis: but since you washed my mouth out I can't be any more descriptive than that o Janis: so* Jimmy: if I wanted you to say owt you'd know about it Janis: 👍 Jimmy: how far away are you? Janis: [when ages isn't even a pisstake] Jimmy: [oh that bus journey such good times to come] Janis: weren't exaggerating Jimmy: never said you were Jimmy: I just wanna know where to be Jimmy: ain't far to hers from mine, must be why she likes me Janis: if she knows where you live that's the least of your worries, no? Jimmy: 💀👑 bound to have told everybody by now Jimmy: been stalking me for ages, her Janis: least she's never been in your gaff Janis: far as you know Jimmy: I'd have found strands of hair or 🦷🦷 all about Janis: exactly Janis: clean-up is no joke Jimmy: unless the 🐕 ate 'em Jimmy: find me 💀💀💀 then Janis: not before me she won't Jimmy: I'll try and hang on for you, Jules Janis: least you could do Jimmy: my stamina being what it is, might take a lot Janis: ⬇side of having a 👴 fake boyfriend Jimmy: brb gotta screenshot that to sir so he knows his place Janis: cucked again Jimmy: #kinkfulfilled 💕 he's welcome Janis: your generosity is known, above and beyond, you Jimmy: it's been said before, your originality needs work Janis: you're the one censoring me Jimmy: only so you don't put words in my mouth Jimmy: when I wanna give you a compliment, there's loads on the tip of my 👅 Janis: conveniently you never do so how do I know that? Janis: 🧠📖? Jimmy: You never wanna take 'em more like Janis: Psh Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 only please and thanks Jimmy: *😭 Jimmy: as per Janis: Baby Jimmy: 🐻 Janis: that's why I'm trying to get you 😠 Jimmy: soon as we get there ✔ Janis: you make a handy pillow, say that Jimmy: and you wonder why I'm censoring you Janis: I'm well serious Janis: how am I meant to take a nap now Jimmy: poor baby Janis: 🥺 now Jimmy: I'll @ Helena see if she's got any uppers an' all Janis: fine Janis: scout the shoulder talent on this bus whilst you're at it Jimmy: not your pimp, remember Janis: delete the creeper shots then, shall I Janis: UGH Jimmy: do what you like, my dear Janis: naturally Jimmy: you've made me tired now, tah for that Janis: how weren't you anyway Jimmy: didn't have chance Janis: being 'round our peers is exhausting Janis: can't wait for this holiday to actually begin Jimmy: it's alright for you, I'll have to be around 'em more when it does Janis: yeah, that's shit Janis: only see the ones that cba to walk their dogs, and the gals, obvs Jimmy: least you won't have to see me walking ours Jimmy: if my sister don't do it, don't get done Janis: yeah, right silver-lining that Janis: 'cos I don't drink the shit you serve either Jimmy: soz I'm not a paid barman Janis: 💔 Jimmy: have to crack on with stealing Ian's 🥃 for a bit longer Jimmy: gutted though I am Janis: works for me Janis: I'll get on it with pulling my weight on that front Janis: know someone nearby, stop there first Jimmy: there won't be nowt left for you if you don't hurry up driving that bus, Sandra Jimmy: be a good shout Janis: Keanu would never Jimmy: @ him to take you to this party, don't bother me Janis: the ONE boy not in my DMs, would you believe 🤷 Jimmy: he'd never make a move either so I can, yeah Janis: what you saying, that I think you > keanu? Jimmy: I'm saying it don't matter how big your head is, he's too sad Jimmy: no ☀ for him Janis: 😭 on your level now Jimmy: soz that's your type, gotta be hard going Janis: he might be an outlier, all you know Jimmy: What's the fuck is that? Janis: like, he's an anomaly, one-of-a-kind-one-off and the rest of my 'type' is 👌 Jimmy: Like you said, for all I know Janis: as you said, not my pimp, so you don't need to know one way or the other Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: still weren't 🎣 you can calm down Jimmy: my rod is well away Janis: you're at home, yeah? Janis: so that is your business and your prerogative Janis: ⏲ not started Jimmy: very generous of you Janis: not 💭 about it or nothing Janis: 😇 Jimmy: you're far too tired, I know Janis: cheek of you Janis: you're the 👴 with NO stamina Jimmy: you're the one that were going on and ON about it Jimmy: giving it all that 🥺🥺🥺 Jimmy: which is a bit rude when there's nowt I can do to help Janis: would I set you up to fail? Janis: sounds fake Janis: you could entertain me Jimmy: Go on, how do you want me to wake you up? Janis: how do you reckon Jimmy: I reckon you should tell me Janis: even though you already know? Jimmy: if you reckon I do then there's no challenge saying it, is there? Janis: depends Jimmy: on what? Janis: if you reckon there's challenge in hearing it Jimmy: You reckon I wouldn't accept it if there were? Janis: Have to think on that Jimmy: til you fall asleep at any rate Janis: stop questioning my stamina! 😏 Jimmy: I ain't done once Jimmy: you said it Janis: I know Jimmy: I ain't trying to trick you into a Q&A or owt Jimmy: no questions Janis: damn, I LOVE talking about myself Jimmy: loads of better games if that's what you're after to stay awake though Janis: go on Jimmy: I dunno which of 'em if any are 🚍 appropriate Jimmy: unless you paddys play by different rules Janis: I'm sure I'm obligated to tell you our rules would only make it more inappropriate Janis: we can play at the party? Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: but we better keep it between me and you, no other dickhead's supposed to be threatened with a good time Janis: 'course Janis: know any 2-player games? Jimmy: I'll 💭 while you think on how I've never backed down from any challenge I heard yet Janis: dangerously close to a promise that you won't ever Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: Promise? Janis: Yeah, fuck knows Jimmy: or ever back down Janis: can't answer that, like Jimmy: you could Jimmy: don't sound like me, for a start Janis: alright Jimmy: say it like you fake mean it, babe Janis: I do mean it, dickhead Jimmy: that's better Janis: you've picked now to be hot about it Jimmy: you wanted entertaining Janis: I did Janis: not complaining Jimmy: aren't you? Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Jimmy: if this is the REAL bus driver, focus on the job at hand, dickhead Janis: he's well distracted tbh Janis: you know when they have their mate on for a chat? Janis: can't do that at any other job Jimmy: could chat to you when I'm serving ☕ if I wanted Janis: alright, smartarse Janis: only if I ordered, or your manager would be up in your face for slacking Jimmy: Yeah, I get it what you're on about, I'm not meant to, would be a decent reason to bother Janis: for you, definitely Jimmy: Oi Janis: what am I getting out of it Janis: beyond your delightful company Jimmy: What do you want? Janis: not a latte 💔 Janis: soz, your 🎨 like Jimmy: you don't need to support it, you inspire it Janis: 💘💘💘 Janis: could be worth coming in when 💀👑 squad is about Janis: not every time but, you know, at least a few Jimmy: lunch time is a good shout, they hang about for ages then Janis: yeah, alright, I'll find a day I can do that then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not ideal if I have to stand outside with the 🐕s obvs Jimmy: we can make it work Jimmy: there's massive windows they can 👀 us from Janis: goldfish bowl Janis: I know the vibe Janis: even if I'm anti it Jimmy: you won't have to say nowt nice to me, what more do you want? Janis: I'm always nice Jimmy: you won't have to say owt #goals to me then Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: Yeah, I do Janis: already agreed and all, no need to work any harder, like Jimmy: ain't hard work and even if it were, not the lazy git you keep saying Janis: now you're 🎣 Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: not letting you slag me off ain't the same as being after a compliment Janis: what I reckon don't matter anyway, apparently Jimmy: only when it comes to 🏆 Jimmy: I give 'em, you get 'em Jimmy: that were all I said Janis: 👍 Jimmy: don't be a dickhead about it Janis: I'm not Janis: focusing on driving Jimmy: I get it 💣 weren't your top 💀💀💀 Janis: always you, babes Jimmy: I'll keep it more personal 💕 I remember that's how you wanted it Janis: how much do you remember, exactly? 🤔 Jimmy: 🔪 'cause it were more personal, that were it Janis: 💣 for one person is just overkill Jimmy: it'd do the whole 🚍 don't worry Janis: boy, you're special Janis: not going 'round 💀💀💀 everyone willy nilly Jimmy: Alright, that were a nice thing to say, I'll give you that Janis: romantic, you said Jimmy: Yeah Janis: you care what you drink or what? Jimmy: or what Janis: ✔ answer Jimmy: weren't a real question, you saw me drink Ms Burke's Janis: can afford to be a bit more selective, is why I asked Janis: but can't get more than a bottle so Jimmy: we'll rinse this lass when we get there Janis: standard Janis: if she were just expecting you, might be champagne Jimmy: who does she think I am? Janis: someone to treat right, OBVS Janis: long as she's done the chocolate covered strawberries too, might go a bit easier on her Jimmy: you can have them, I'll say I'm allergic Janis: you're adorable Jimmy: might be, we don't have 🍓 in the north Janis: leave the 🎻 story at the door though Janis: trying be less likable, remember Jimmy: long as I've got you to keep on reminding me, be alright Janis: ha, funny 🖕 Jimmy: I'm well serious, I need your help Janis: 'cos I'm such a dick, yeah, I know Jimmy: 'cause she is and you've got 🥇💡 Janis: got vodka Janis: safest bet Janis: be at that bus stop in under 10 Jimmy: Already there Janis: 😇 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: 😇🚬 I'll allow Jimmy: *😈🚬 Janis: Prove it Jimmy: Alright Janis: alright Jimmy: in under 10 Jimmy: however you want Janis: however? Jimmy: you heard Janis: [show up and do a dramatic run (careful) off this bus to even more dramatically kiss him, like clearly this party is quite central so MAYBE someone is walking past, who can be sure, but lbr the excuse is only an afterthought if he asks at this point lol] Jimmy: [sitting her at this bus stop because do be careful babe because we're on a 'mission' before we get there and it's to add any lovebites where there aren't in any skin you can see when she's wearing that lewk but of course that's not extra enough so he has to go over her others too starting at her neck and being very thorough obvs but they've had like no time to fade at all so he's just kissing her shamelessly, we all know it] Janis: [such extra but real reactions as if it hasn't been the hottest of secs since you saw each other, grant you you did get interrupted but maybe not your brightest idea to start this in public when you got places to be, love it] Jimmy: [you two are the best] Janis: [we could always have someone from school go by, a lad like wheyyyyy, but letting you have this for now] Jimmy: [give you a minute but not long enough for this to get out of hand] Janis: [we know we're immediately moving to sit on him instead] Jimmy: [I fully support that even if it means it's easier for you two to go too hard in public lol] Janis: [start as you mean to go on lowkey] Jimmy: [we ain't even gonna make it to this club energy again, we know where your daughter gets it from in the future lads] Janis: [mhmm, blame your lack of chill on them girl, it's valid] Jimmy: [none of your kids have any chill romantically and we all know it] Janis: [the trouble they get in 'cos of...damn you and your romcom romance JJ] Jimmy: [it makes me die cos they are the two characters least likely to start in a romcom] Janis: [we did that boo] Jimmy: [anyway get out of this bus stop before you give some old lady a heart attack, gotta dramatically carry her into this party like she's your bride, sucks to suck gal whose it is] Janis: [not invited, turns up like cleopatra lmao] Jimmy: [also drink some of your vodka on the way babe you've gotta catch up to him cos he's been dipping into Ian's stash] Janis: [bleurgh straight vodka but yes, kill those tastebuds] Jimmy: [I literally could not but you two are not me thankfully] Janis: [shoutout to fearghal for giving you a bottle for free 'cos that's the kind of granddad he is, just the one though] Jimmy: [he's a soft touch but not a mug and we stan] Janis: [just discussing the plan here but being saucy snuggly in-between 'we're gonna have to be social, I reckon, to properly make sure it all goes to shit' sad face like ugh] Jimmy: [such a dramatic ugh reaction of his own that isn't even fake cos he's antisocial af but nods because she's right] Janis: ['we'll find time...still need breaks, right' going for his pocket so you can get a 🚬 to pass back and forth 'cos no sense not sharing when you are this close rn] Jimmy: ['how long have you been lying to me then?' cos she was a mind reader there] Janis: ['just so cool, it's known' 🙄😏] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['unless you're talking about all the other lies, then-' does a 😬 and puts a finger to his lips like shh] Jimmy: [being saucy with that finger cos you walked into that one gal] Janis: ['don't drop me' as if he's the one being affected rn] Jimmy: [holds her tighter like I won't but also just because] Janis: [giving him such a LOOK 'cos we out here looking good feeling better] Jimmy: [forever giving her a LOOK back because likewise and also that selfie did not do justice to how either of them look IRL] Janis: [lord knows I probably don't have one so fully use your imagination here lol] Jimmy: [we know they are both serving that's all that matters] Janis: [as if you don't show up everyone else without trying] Jimmy: [that's the tea, better have you show up cos it's probably not far] Janis: [just being like omg hi and so friendly 'cos can't know it's you two, even though you literally wanna murder this girl for shading you] Jimmy: [using all your barista charm because if you can do it for the Mia's of the world you can do it for anyone and holding onto her still even when you put her down l like I got you gal cos you're a team and you know she's fuming] Janis: [you really thought he was gonna ditch her the second he got off the bus for you like??? ok miss deluded] Jimmy: [some people really love themselves and think they're the shit] Janis: [tea, @Mia 'cos she's lowkey so average looking no offense to the actress lol] Jimmy: [and lbr you also thought he just wanted to hook up with her and then he'd be onto the next like how rude on so many levels] Janis: [we know that is how most teen boys operate but they were going in for the 💘 ting] Jimmy: [my soft boy would never] Janis: [the cheek, so, what's the first step into making this party shit I wonder] Jimmy: [well if there was hardly any booze/it ran out too soon that'd ruin it but they can't single handedly drink it all so they might have to hide it or something lol] Janis: [that's a good idea, or tip it if we being really shamelessly shady] Jimmy: [hide the stuff you want in a bush or something to grab later and pour the shit you don't down the sink] Janis: [good plan, leave the really basic wine coolers and shit beers] Jimmy: [mhmm, no loss there, and obvs you can drink plenty of the good shit too but no need to give yourselves alcohol poisoning on what you think is your last night together potentially] Janis: [just acting like that's all she's supplied like idk what to tell you lads, and being generous with your bottle that is somehow not going down lol lol] Jimmy: [god bless, I'm trying to think how else they could mess shit up without it being obvious hmmm] Janis: [shit tunes shit tunes, even shit by other people's standards that mysteriously keep getting put on] Jimmy: [gotta be a sneaky 👻 Jimothy, great idea babe, also keep getting turned up so loud the neighbours will be fuming even when the hostess turns them down] Janis: [100%, also easy to trash this gaff sneakily without anyone else having the fun of actually doing it 'cos no one is wasted or vibing] Jimmy: [wonderful throwback mems to when they were trashing Mia's room on the trip pre-hook up so I approve] Janis: [think about that, lads, allowed to get distracted momentarily] Jimmy: [proud of you for not getting distracted sooner tbh, shows how much this gal offended you] Janis: [guess you've not been allowed to dance or be alone 'cos setting the shit awkward mood of this party but still, well done] Jimmy: [I have a glorious mental image of peeps leaving like well this is shit] Janis: [damage you done to your rep just by being a rude hoe, think on] Jimmy: [Mia and Pablo have to rock up though cos a shit party is what you deserve] Janis: [ugh couple of the year alert lmao, Pablo is so rude he'll be over it the minute he arrives] Jimmy: [at least Janis won't have to deal with him long] Janis: [pretending to be nice to him is something we're not doing] Jimmy: [that's too far and we all know it, likewise Grace is ignoring you assuming she's there too boy] Janis: [she could be, we just said the flat whites weren't letting her get ready with them but she coulda still showed] Jimmy: [shown up with some boy that Mia didn't sanction to annoy her most likely haha] Janis: [what a party this has been for all] Jimmy: [Jimothy just like this might be the last fake dating moment we have and this is what we're doing ffs] Janis: [not going out with a bang here] Jimmy: [not even close] Janis: so 🥱 I'm on my phone Janis: ✔ Jimmy: bit rude that I'm your last resort Janis: that is partially your fault Jimmy: What have I done? Janis: made this party so 🥱 Janis: duh Jimmy: that were her Jimmy: nowt to do with me Janis: 😏 right, 'course Jimmy: Gotta be a room you can get some 💤 in, we ain't trashed the place floor to ceiling Janis: wanna go look? Janis: can't bear having 👀s on my siblings any longer Jimmy: [picks her up like come on gal let's go] Janis: ['didn't do her sister's room'] Jimmy: [heading in what he assumes is the right direction, but we know what his sense of direction is like] Janis: [pointing with your hands like indicators loling] Jimmy: [thanks for directing us bae] Janis: [like to think her sister is younger/not as much of a dick, hence we didn't trash her room] Jimmy: [agreed, we've got nothing against you hun, putting her down on this bed] Janis: ['you're sleepy too' we telling not asking okay] Jimmy: [a little lol but we're getting into a sleeping position like okay babe] Janis: [bringing up the bottle between you like a baby clove and taking a drink before offering him some] Jimmy: [taking a drink cos why not] Janis: ['you'll sleep well now' and closing his eyes like there there] Jimmy: [snuggling her like now I shall] Janis: [getting comfy 'Bill is gonna be fuming, like'] Jimmy: ['He's dramatic, there's always something with him'] Janis: ['far as endings go though...' trailing off 'well, no one's dead, are they'] Jimmy: ['not the end yet though, is it?' Thank god his eyes are still closed cos we all know where he's going with that question 'and this lass might do herself in when it is'] Janis: ['just prefer putting it out of it's misery' but that doesn't align with the plan so you can't, shamelessly looking at him in the meantime] Jimmy: [opens his eyes 'I know' because you do get it] Janis: [lowkey jumping when he does, then pushing him away playfully before he can even take the piss] Jimmy: [chucks a cushion at her cos I imagine this girl has loads] Janis: ['oi!' and using it as a weapon] Jimmy: ['Oi yourself' we just playfighting now as per] Janis: ['if you want it to look like you've messed up my hair, do it properly'] Jimmy: [pulls her hair in that meant to be pisstakey but actually really saucy way he has before on the trip] Janis: [when the reaction you have betrays you before you've even replied 'I mean, if that's the best you can do'] Jimmy: [goes harder because of the reaction more than the challenge of what she said but we can pretend that's why] Janis: [biting our lip so hard, probably bright red] Jimmy: [running his thumb over her bottom lip like don't cos you shamelessly wanna hear her even though you can't pretend anyone else would be able to, however shit this party is] Janis: ['you're- you aren't terrible at this, you know'] Jimmy: ['you're alright an' all' but we're saying it with more feeling than the words suggest] Janis: ['then let's do it some more' not clear if you mean like, right now, or let's keep doing this whole thing but you know] Jimmy: [when you just nod cos either way you're like yeah] Janis: [we kissing him] Jimmy: [pulling her into you via a hair pull to keep that going and making out for a while which gives you an idea and telling her you've thought of a 2 person game like she wanted and it's that one where you have to keep kissing without stopping but you're not allowed to touch and the first person who does loses] Janis: [groaning like that will be so hard but nodding 'cos duh challenge accepted] Jimmy: [the real question being who do we want to give in first? haha] Janis: [hmm, she did fall off the assault course last so give it to him this time I reckon] Jimmy: [fair that was very shaming for her, you can survive this a lot easier boy] Janis: [we all know this is not a real loss either way lol] Jimmy: [exactly so you can't pout for long] Janis: [esp when she tells you what she wants for winning] Jimmy: [saucy behaviour is afoot] Janis: [not gonna be rood and cockblock you twice in such a space of time] Jimmy: [yeah we won't be that rude] Janis: [as you have to see this party out to the bitter end, even if that's sooner than usual] Jimmy: [and LORD what fun that will be] Janis: [gonna say Pablo has fucked off so Mia is raging/fake crying somewhere now] Jimmy: [I support that wholeheartedly, would also love if Grace has left with whatever lad she came with because Mia will hate that and also it means she don't have to deal] Janis: [we know everyone is jumping ship here[ Jimmy: [it's gonna be jj and this girl soon lol] Janis: [lordt] Jimmy: [not having a 3way with you hun] Janis: [when you probably pretending it was such a casual everyone was invited mood now 'cos you being ignored lowkey] Jimmy: [that's what you get for being a dick] Janis: 👻👻👻 Jimmy: Tah for your permission to properly ghost her Jimmy: she's 👀 at me still Janis: just don't leave without me Janis: not after that bonding moment Jimmy: I carried you in, gotta carry you out an' all Janis: 👶💀 Jimmy: What kind of insult are you trying to chuck at me there? Janis: from the womb to the tomb is what that sounded like Janis: v poetic Jimmy: we'd have to do loads more bollocks Q&A's before we can make any of these dickheads believe I've known you that long Jimmy: but if you want a poem, piss easy that Janis: not looking to do or make you do that crash course Janis: know you love being artsy though so go ahead with that, like Jimmy: you've pissed on the flashcards summing up my 🎻🎻 life in a line or a drawing Jimmy: 💔 poem coming up Janis: Poor boy Janis: upload the draw my life for more views more appreciation Jimmy: ain't #goals or #dramatic enough before you got involved, girl Jimmy: no need Janis: how rude Jimmy: it's LITERALLY a compliment Janis: half a fake compliment, maybe Jimmy: I'll give you a real one if you know how to fuck with her speakers, no music would be the final ⚰🔨 Janis: easy Janis: just be distracting to 👀 at Jimmy: easier Jimmy: [I like to imagine he's like hey everyone who's still here come and play some random drinking game rn] Janis: [and you will know how to take apart electronics in a way that she won't be able to work out what's happened so have at it] Janis: [if that's in the lounge, going out that window then in the backdoor if they're in the kitchen say like just been smoking what's good] Jimmy: [team effort because he's blatantly pretending this drinking game is so northern he has to explain the rules but really he's just making it up on the spot and then as he goes along] Janis: [just watching like 😏] Jimmy: [just loving life cos he can make people do whatever he wants lowkey, what a fun way to get back at that girl by making her drink something gross and then being like ?? when the music stops #givehimanoscar] Janis: [the power, we're never as thrilled to be at a party than when we're fucking it up] Jimmy: can we go now then or what? Janis: I reckon Janis: 🙌 Jimmy: [picks her up cos he weren't joking about carrying her out] Janis: [toodle-o, hoe] Jimmy: [get those bottles and give them to the bae to hold while you carry her far far away from this shit show] Janis: [do not fall now or you'll both be dead lol] Jimmy: [we should say there are other people from the party at the park cos we said it wasn't far from his house to hers and it'll give them an excuse to be extra] Janis: [ahh teens hanging in parks, a standard] Jimmy: [sit on a swing together lads] Janis: [have some more booze now you can without looking suspish] Jimmy: [yeah you probably haven't had that much cos too busy being sneaky and ruining things] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: better than 🍾 Janis: you? Jimmy: [shows her all the shade that everyone is throwing about this party so she'll be happy] Janis: [loling and scrolling 'good'] Jimmy: [a genuine smile cos she's buzzing and he's glad and genuine 😍 for the laugh] Janis: ['gutted can't stalk Mia's bloke for the reverse revenge pics' just swinging and passing his phone back] Jimmy: ['which one?' because honestly] Janis: [rolls eyes but @ her 'true' adding 'not her dad though, that shit is well easy to find' 'cos a shameless cheat] Jimmy: [taking a big drink and lighting a 🚬 like that's so gross I need both of these things but we just living our best lives tbh] Janis: ['always a party with you, is it' so not a question but realizing how gay that sounds as a statement lol] Jimmy: [blows smoke rings at her sassily like yes it is] Janis: [😏 and taking his bottle, even if you have your own] Jimmy: [allowing it because there are peeps around but allowing it really because he is #whipped] Jimmy: bit rude Janis: bit thirsty Janis: [big swig like see] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: shut up Jimmy: I didn't say owt, it were you Janis: [pushing him but in a playful way 'cos 1. we not mad 2. we don't wanna fall 3. peeps be here] Janis: you knew what I meant Jimmy: [pulls her hair playfully cos throwback to earlier and also pisstake that he thinks she did mean it in a saucy way] Janis: [we are 😳] Janis: oi Jimmy: [looking at her so innocently like ? but boy you know] Janis: [pulling his hair like how do you like it like probably a lot okay then] Jimmy: [we kissing her before any sounds can escape like that will keep it such a mystery, Jimothy I think she still knows you're about it] Janis: [subtly putting her hands up for that mem like, still winning] Jimmy: [little lol because she's funny and we can't be mad] Janis: [return them 😍] Jimmy: [just looking at her because she's so beautiful it's rude] Janis: what? Jimmy: what? Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: ? Janis: ❓ Janis: never mind Jimmy: never mind what? Janis: [exasperated half-lol thing 'stop it'] Jimmy: [writes stop what? on her skin with a fingertip] Janis: [pretends it tickled loads as an excuse to wriggle and generally be distracting] Jimmy: [now we're LOOKING at her and it's a very different #mood] Janis: ['that's what'] Jimmy: [drawing so many ? all over her but really softly so it will actually tickle this time] Janis: [dying like 'alright, alright!'] Jimmy: [holding onto her under the pretence that we don't want her to fall which we don't but also just that bitch™] Janis: ['you're such a dickhead, you know' but softly] Jimmy: ['you're-' so soft it's like did you even say anything sir] Janis: ['well, don't start this again' like we've only just stopped ???ing boy] Jimmy: ['but you're just-' like I can't help it gal cos lbr he can't] Janis: ['you're taking the piss'] Jimmy: [shrugs because probably but again we can't overstate how much he is not trying to and doesn't mean to but also how hard it is to use words] Janis: [fake punches his jaw like oh you, 'cos gonna ignore it either way] Jimmy: [playfully pushes her but very soft] Janis: ['push me on this swing and make yourself useful'] Jimmy: [does obviously] Janis: [living your best life] Jimmy: [so much so we know y'all are gonna stay even when these peeps fuck off cos you don't wanna go home ever anyways] Janis: [definitely, we all know you weren't just here like carrying on the show, duh] Jimmy: [I vote for rain for those Jimmy: mems] Janis: [not out of the question is it, and remember when they got under the jungle gym moment and did drawings, that, ty] Jimmy: [yeah cos it's literally april so and 100% because that was iconic and we need it] Janis: [run babies run but not really 'cos who cares, you aren't going to freeze, even if your lewk is probably skimpy gal, so frolic in the rain for a bit] Jimmy: [we all know it's a #mood and he will keep you warm if needed gal] Janis: [grabbing the stash and taking it under this climbing frame when you finally do take shelter 'cos #priorities] Jimmy: [giving her whatever jacket you have on because that's the kind of fake boyfriend you are] Janis: [searching the pockets like you're looking for 💊s and then miming 💔] Jimmy: [🎻 mime] Janis: ['letdown' but snuggling into the jacket] Jimmy: [starting the doodle sesh by doing the JJ love heart without even really thinking about it] Janis: [writes some shade that that girl or the flat whites would write underneath] Jimmy: [writes the kind of reply he would write if it was a post on socials] Janis: [a realistic looking 💔 with a 🔪 in it] Jimmy: [we just drinking and nodding appreciatively at her 🎨 but then we're drawing Bill's ghost] Janis: [😏 and taking our share as we ponder our 🎨 reply, drawing some 💀s under his feet with flatwhite identifiers, like Grace's weave etc] Jimmy: [draws a 💭 for him and writes 'far as endings go....' like she said earlier and then draws a Janis hanging off the end of the bubble ready to put anyone out of their misery who isn't dead] Janis: [genuine smile, draws a cartoon him peeping over said 💭 with a pen and paper like he's copying Bill's #poetry] Jimmy: [draws a ghost version of himself floating  and crosses out the word endings because still doesn't want any of this to] Janis: [draws an arrow to the book in his cartoon hands and writes 'once upon a time...'] Jimmy: [draws it raining Helena's pills but writes 'letdown' on each pill and puts an umbrella over what she's just written like gotta protect the 🎨 but not over the cartoon JJ or ghost him cos they tough] Janis: [draws a very over-exaggerated Helena 'cos probably not that memorable or noticeable with her mouth open like gimme] Jimmy: [draws a skeleton hand coming up like Mia's gonna snatch them all] Janis: [draws herself jumping down to stamp on said skelly hand] Jimmy: [😏 and then chewing on this pen looking cute doing it obvs but then draws a phone in Mia's hand with a speech bubble coming out like it's her dad talking and threatening to sue etc] Janis: [#distracted af for a hot sec, finally drawing a bored af looking uber booby stickwoman on the other end of the phone like it's a sexline] Jimmy: [we just loling soz to be more distracting gal] Janis: [just adding tears to all the Mia's up here rn] Jimmy: [drawing Mia's dad creepily crawling down the length of this drawing area like he's gotta get to her but there's loads of heartbroken secretaries holding onto his legs and climbing over each other and fighting] Janis: [shudders but also proper lols 'too real' and then sketches out various hunger games ways they can kill each other off to be the winner] Jimmy: [adds his dad peeping like he's gonna snatch the winner and you know it's him because he looks lowkey like Jimothy and he's wearing a t-shirt that says @iantaylor8 on it] Janis: [draws a new Mia 👀 like any dad will do] Jimmy: [does his own shudder and takes a big drink but gives this Mia a crown and a sash that says like world's greatest step mum on it or something like that] Janis: [draws him but like a baby version in various situations with her being the Worst ever, like dropping him on his head etc] Jimmy: [when you start thinking about your mum so you're just having a moment ™] Jimmy: [casually downing so much of this booze suddenly] Janis: [not not noticing but we're not doing anything or saying anything either] Jimmy: [going to 🚬 whether it's stopped raining or not like gotta gooooooo] Janis: [when you're outside so you simply do not boy but pop off, just like wtafffffff over here] Jimmy: [soz gal we gotta moodily sit on this swing and be in our emotions and I'm 100% saying it's still raining so its even more like wtf boy] Janis: are you alright? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: would you prefer I ask what's wrong? Jimmy: how is that any different? Janis: you can yes or no the first Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: I'm not Jimmy: I'm not doing a Q&A with you at the minute Janis: Alright Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: I said, okay Janis: [getting up like I'll be off then and gathering whatever shit you have] Jimmy: [just looking at her because you don't want her to go but you can't be like DON'T so it's v awkward] Janis: [shaking your head 'cos no more ?s] Jimmy: [passing her your 🚬 that you haven't even lit yet like that'll fix everything] Janis: [looking at it like what even but not going 'cos you can also be a headfuck, we aren't pretending otherwise] Jimmy: [shivering because she has your jacket on so you're just out here in a t-shirt like but not moving because we're very closed off rn] Janis: [chucking it at him and going back to your little den moment like you forget something, but just sitting there on your phone like okay] Jimmy: as endings go Jimmy: I'm not having that one Jimmy: makes me look like a right twat, don't you think? Janis: could do better Janis: probably be the note, yeah Jimmy: ✔ Jimmy: [comes back in and chucks her the jacket back like you'll need this if you're going but we know he just is soz] Janis: you're cold, don't be an idiot Jimmy: you might be an' all, I still don't read minds Janis: wouldn't have given it to you if I were Janis: not that nice, or at all Janis: [throwing it vaguely in his direction] Jimmy: [puts it back on her 'just that stubborn' because he is likewise that stubborn obvs lol but his voice is soft and so are his 👀] Janis: [just looking back at him 'finished having your strop now?' but as a genuine question and as soft 'cos like, no idea what that was] Jimmy: [pulling her hair out of the hood or collar of this jacket whichever it has as softly 'I don't care if I freeze to death' the unspoken implication being that he cares if she does BYE 'but if you don't rate it, we can do something else'] Janis: [just being the most still whilst this is happening, biting your lip 'cos softness, what 'go on'] Jimmy: ['I could tell you about how I didn't mean to be such a dickhead there or I could show you, it's up to you, that' the eye contact be like] Janis: [shrugs like you're so unphased either way but not breaking that eye contact 'you aren't much of a talker'] Jimmy: [kissing her on every lovebite like he did at the bus stop but a lot more indecently than you can do when you're in public, taking his time, playing particular attention to anywhere saucy af because why not eventually go down on a girl for the first time in a playground at night in the rain when you're trying to say sorry and give her something to remember you by #peakromance] Janis: [just saying his name like you literally never have, then after, saying 'I've never done that before' 'cos that #shook but he could take that to mean a number of things so you're fine lol] Jimmy: ['me either' with a shrug like it's really casual because true, you can have that first time gal] Janis: ['in a park, like' and pushing a swing like you've only just remembered where you are, low-key looking around like those people are definitely gone] Jimmy: [sits on said swing like push me then] Janis: [does, 'cos his turn] Jimmy: [looks over his shoulder at her ankle like don't hurt yourself] Janis: [rolls her eyes like, weren't worried about that five seconds ago boy] Jimmy: [rolls his own back at her but with 😏] Janis: [pushing him extra high 'jump off and you can join me'] Jimmy: [does jump off because challenge accepted but thankfully doesn't hurt himself because don't need to be #matching] Janis: [fussing after him like he has] Jimmy: [just having a drink like he's so tough and not at all a soft boy] Janis: [looking through your phone then grinning at something on socials 'I've got a surprise for you'] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ?] Janis: [showing him a snap from the girl to her story about her parents coming home and freaking out 'cos trashed 'text 'em, when I was doing the music' more of a surprise for you gal 'cos you're buzzing but sure] Jimmy: [SUCH a genuinely happy grin, we're falling in love again over here, cos the bae is so impressive] Janis: ['literally no chance of her hitting you up for a solo party now, even if she had no shame, like' grinning back 'cos he's so cute] Jimmy: ['as fake girlfriend's go, you were a top first pick' because as close as we can get rn to saying you like her 'tah for that'] Janis: ['who was your second?'] Jimmy: [shakes his head because he didn't have one and first place or nowt is forever the motto] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [nudges her 'alright bighead, shut up' even though she didn't say anything] Janis: 'seen not heard?' raises a brow 'very retro'] Jimmy: ['I'm not my dad' shrugs as if that's not vitally important to him] Janis: ['mores the pity, I'm sure' and going to climb the climbing frame now] Jimmy: [follows her in case she needs a hand/falls off cos it's wet and he knows it'll annoy her and that's the excuse we're sticking with] Janis: ['not closing my eyes this time, you're alright' inspecting other people's graffiti efforts with disdain] Jimmy: [chucks her the pen] Janis: [correcting spelling and crossing out the slander you don't fuck with and writing more that you do like that's better 'Lucas would be so proud'] Jimmy: [takes a picture to send to him 'what were his @ again?'] Janis: [genuine 🤔 'something about virgin schoolgirls, can't quite remember'] Jimmy: [exaggerated sigh like ugh fuck's sake 'there's loads of them' but then shrugs 'you'll have to show him'] Janis: ['got a date for 3 weeks time, ain't we' shrugs back] Jimmy: ['you have' cos we're not expecting to be here] Janis: ['he wishes it were solo'] Jimmy: ['you can keep Bill's ghost for a chaperone'] Janis: ['well helpful, him' shakes her head 'end up a ghost before the first session is out myself'] Jimmy: ['what's the matter with that?'] Janis: [little laugh, 'no offense, ghost boy'] Jimmy: ['I get it, reckon undead is better than dead dead, do you?' like that's the kind of snobby vampire she is] Janis: ['don't you?' and LOOKS pointedly at all the lovebites she's done] Jimmy: [looks at her like you have your moments but then LOOKS at her and where they were in their little den like so do I] Janis: [nudges him 'shut up'] Jimmy: [🤐 mime] Janis: [looks down at the den 'don't be hasty...' and mimes unzipping his lips but climbing down like you got somewhere to be] Jimmy: [follows her being deliberately quiet about it lol] Janis: [turns 'round like 'scuse me but when we put out our hand to stop him, we leave it resting on his chest 'where you going now?'] Jimmy: [just looking at her hand and back up at her and then at her lips but we all know he isn't reading them] Janis: [moving a bit closer, putting our other arm 'round his shoulders, 'it was annoying, having to ignore you and talk to other people-' moving closer still, 'til your face is right up in his '-when I'd rather be not talking with you'] Jimmy: [doing that thing he always does where he pulls her closer somehow whenever you think they're as close as they can get] Janis: [whispering even though there's no need bar proximity rn 'I've stayed here before, it's alright, like' saying it like not a suggestion but not not a suggestion too] Jimmy: [when you can't stop yourself from looking in the direction of your house because it's literally over the road even though it's the last place you ever wanna be and then looking back at her as if you'd never looked away and nodding] Janis: [shrugs like it's really casual 'no bus back my way now anyway, so I weren't going home'] Jimmy: [takes her hand and leads her back to their little den and around it like he's doing a house tour because he's a nerd] Janis: ['snug, but well decorated' and smiles '3 out of 5 stars'] Jimmy: [draws those 3 out of 5 stars and writes her review out underneath with her name deliberately wrong and ❌ out loads of times] Janis: [writes her @ and rolls her eyes like honestly 'kill you to give me some promo?'] Jimmy: [📷 mime like he's doing a photoshoot] Janis: [🖕 at him 'cos classy] Jimmy: [takes a real photo of her because amused] Janis: ['oi' 'cos it is dark and we all know flash is a one, as if you won't still look good] Jimmy: [posts it because she does look great and tags that girl in it because he's rude] Janis: ['took a lot more photos when it last rained' we all remembering here] Jimmy: [looks at his imaginary watch and up at the sky like we've got loads of time] Janis: ['shows no sign of stopping' as if you're the kind of person who makes small talk about the weather] Jimmy: [breaks his silence to tell her to 'come here' because such a him thing to do] Janis: [crawling over so she's resting between his legs 'yeah?'] Jimmy: [takes some more pics of her like the art hoe he is so we can all pretend the lip bite is purely in concentration] Janis: ['can't say you aren't dedicated' purposefully doing the most] Jimmy: ['or that you're not inspiring' we can all imagine how his voice sounds] Janis: ['just my job' when likewise the tone is saying everything but] Jimmy: ['someone's gotta do it' but looking at her cos we all know he's glad it's her] Janis: [puts ☝️ up like, you said, first choice] Jimmy: ['you were' because it's true and obvious anyway by this point] Janis: ['let me show you why'] Jimmy: [casually stop breathing because she's the hottest person ever and makes you die] Janis: [return that favour gal] Jimmy: [say 'fuck' for that throwback] Janis: ['never done that, either'] Jimmy: ['I'll knock you a trophy up if you give me a bit of time' when you're not even taking the piss it was just that 🔥] Janis: [cuddles into him like, I can wait] Jimmy: [holding onto her really tightly because you don't wanna let go ever but you still think you've gotta] Janis: ['you cold?' 'cos you do have a hoodie between you 'so, again, somehow getting closer] Jimmy: [we taking the shameless excuse to snuggle and running with it] Janis: [can probably leave this night here?] Jimmy: [we've covered a lot of ground and it'll probably be long cos has the last bit of the school trip on it too so yeah] Janis: [can fall asleep here for a bit, no need for any further drama] Jimmy: [until he wakes up and she's already gone anyway lol lol lol] Janis: [that's the next convo baby]
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I 100% feel that Sirius would deliberately not tell his partner he was an animagus (or at least not WHAT he was) for a really long time,but would randomly change into his dog form because his partner would get so excited and happy to see the dog, and then he would leave the room, shift back to human, wait a minute then come back in and act like he'd been doing something else. I had to share this with somebody. Sorry its a mess.
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If you want a part two to this please request!!!
(I’m a sucker for all the fics that are him finding the reader alone in his dog form so I’m gonna do some of that but also some of him ‘doing something else’ for five minutes too)
The first time that he ‘happened across you while in dog form yes it was accidental shut up Moony I promise’
Was when you were at the black lake studying
You two had just had a fight and you couldn’t really see the book through your tears 
But you were trying to
You eventually gave up and leaned your head back on a tree and just cried
You heard a few twigs snap and tried to look like you weren’t just bawling in case it was one of Sirius’ friends or a slytherin or someone you didn’t want seeing you like that
But instead of a jerky slytherin or James or Remus 
It was doggo
Just a doggo
A large black dog who looked legitimately concerned for the wellbeing of someone he’d just met
He literally wasn’t even deterred by you being a stranger either he just walked up to you and pushed his head into your hand
Of course you frickin pet him
hE WaS A dOG??!?!
You literally have to pet a dog if you see one I don’t make the rules
Doggo law™
He was relatively chill and just laid in your lap
He let you pet him (Imagine Sirius knowing full well he’s the reason you’re crying but also knowing he’s the reason you’re cheering up and being the cockiest little shi-)
He flopped his entire body onto your lap even though he was the size of you and not exactly a lap dog
He’s got the same ‘i sOrTa fit’ mentality that most large doggos do
You call him a GoodBoi™ and he literally hates himself for how hAPPY it makes him
Someone send help dear god
But he could hear James chasing Lily out to the lake so he had to leave
gOttA bLasT
He ran away but promised himself that he’d apologize to you and also approach you as Padfoot more often because he loved that
The second time that he did it
He was sitting with you and you were running your hands through his hair
And he was like omg hold on I have an iDEA
So he was like brb babe gotta go set up a prank
*wink wonk*
He ran tf out and you were like okay?? Um??
He oh so conveniently left the door open
You laid back on his bed and ‘swear I won’t sleep’
Lmao you were dozing off when the bed dipped and you sat up expecting to see Sirius
But instead
IT WAS THE DOG
THE ONE DOG THAT YOU SAW LIKE TWO MONTHS AGO THAT YOU LITERALLY NEVER SAW AGAIN
You were pretty confused tbh bc why here and now and how did he get into the castle without being seen and how did he even get to Hogwarts in the first place and what
He didn’t give you much time to think though bc he sorta tackled you
You were pinned down to the bed and he was pretending like he wasn’t squishing you
True dog fashion
You started petting him and he just melted onto you
He was liquid doggo
Melted
He was so relaxed that he didn’t hear James and Remus coming up the stairs
“And so after I threw the stinkbomb I knew I had to run- oh! Sirius finally told you!”
“What? Told me what?” 
You were so confused
“Uhm that he’s- oWW”
The dog had literally lunged at James and bitten his arm
“OW OW OW OKAY LOSER I WON’T SAY ANYTHING SWEET CHRIST YOUR TEETH ARE SHARP”
The dog let go of James’ arm and ran out of the door
You wanted to follow but you also knew that you’d never be able to catch up
So you stayed 
Sirius walked in like two minutes later
“Oh hello Sirius, whatever were you doing just now?” James was too condescending for someone who’d just had his arm nearly ripped off
“Oh, just telling Lily that you pee the bed every night”
“wAIT DID YOU REALLY?! SIRIUS?!”
He just jumped on the bed and laid on top of you
You ran your hands through his hair again and he shuddered bc it felt so good omg
The third time was when you were iN CLASS FFS
Sirius had stayed out ‘sick’
And all of a sudden the door opened
Not that professor Bins noticed
You didn’t see anything come into the classroom and you figured that it was just Peeves
But then a lITERAL DOG HEAD POPPED OUT OF THIN AIR RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR HAND UNDER THE DESK
It took so much in you not to scream
You’re so glad you sit in the back
He just stared at you wagging his tail like he did nothing wrong
“What are you doing here? This is my class?” You hissed
He just whined quietly and slipped his head back under the cloak
You figured that he had just come across it in James’ dorm bc he’s been in there before man
And you thought he had left but then you felt him get up on your lap instead
“Um, I’m in class?! I need to focus! You need to leave!”
You supposed you looked really insane
Talking to air
The only thing he did was squeeze his head into your chest and just push it onto you
You know when dogs to that
Just like try to adhere themselves to you
He sat in your lap throughout the entire class and he didn’t make any loud noises he is so proud :’)
If anyone wants a part two, please send in a request for one, I’d love to write it!
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dotthings · 6 years
Text
WHOA SPN THAT WAS SO MUCH so this got a little along. 
Oh the callbacks in the episode. So many. Starting with Pamela freakin’ Barnes to put is in a S4 mindset. She was delightful as always, I’m sorry this is a one-off and only in Dean’s mind but she’s still a wonderful character.
So...the place Michael tucks Dean away in to keep him calm, living the dream, is a bar, like Harvelles, and they still hunt, but Dean mostly runs the bar, Sam and Cas are on a hunt, and Dean seems into running this place of solace for people with a jukebox and pool table and beer. I think this is drawn from some authentic piece of Dean’s dreams of retirement, it’s not sand-between-the-toes, but it does seem to fit with what Dean might want. It’s not a real memory and it’s not fully authentic though because Michael constructs it to keep Dean placated but it’s all built from material inside Dean’s mind. Michael gave Dean a version of his contentment and it’s inside the hunting world. Which...haven’t a lot of us been talking about this, not the either/or, that they don’t have to entirely quit the life to find a life within the life. This fit into that theme. 
Pamela and Dean’s banter was fun and oh, that little exchange “You don’t want me, you just like to flirt. I’m a psychic. I know these things.” She’s constructed from Dean’s memories. Dean controls everything there. Dean’s own brain is trying to tell him something. This fits realllly well with a bi-Dean reading. And endgame Destiel. He likes to flirt and he’ll flirt with both genders but what does he really want in the end. Just throwing that out there. And let’s think for a moment how Dean’s mind created subtext that suits a bi Dean and Destiel endgame read.
“We have shifts now because you mess up so, so many things.” I LOLed.
Interesting there’s a callback to Gadreel not Lucifer for Sam relating one of his past possessions experiences to this. Given the themes Michael uses to taunt Sam and Cas and Jack with, Gadreel is a callback to a storyline that was about Dean crossing a line to save Sam, a story about Dean as a caretaker, saving a family member. 
Jack’s belief in Dean. My heart. This following on his early S14 tactless comments, followed by his confession about why he felt so desperate to stop Michael and he and Dean relating to each other’s sense of self-blame and desperation. That was mostly resolved, between them, but in terms of the ongoing story, seeing the extent Jack believes in Dean, this is advancing. 
“Dean. He’s strong. You don’t know anything about Dean.” I’m bolding for a reason--instance #1 of Dean’s family calling him strong.
And then, instance #1 of of Michael trying to demoralize and undermine. “You’re not Sam, you’re not Cas. You’re a new burden he was handed.” Taunting Jack with not being cared for, with being unwanted, by Dean, that it was forced on him. There was some tension on that in S13 initially. By season 14, with the development of the arcs, Dean chose this, but Jack is afraid he didn’t. Jack may also be carrying similar fears or guilt about Sam and Cas, given the origins and history. 
So the source of Cas’s death-glare in the promo was Michael taunting Cas about God, suggesting that Chuck just gives up on one world, and moves onto the next and that’s why there are so many AU’s. It might be true. Cas seems really outraged about it and is probably scared it is true. We’re maybe not done with Cas’s daddy issues, his faith or lack thereof in his Father.
Jensen and Misha were spectacular playing off each other in this scene and their whole dynamic transformed because Dean isn’t Dean, same as in S4, their dynamic transformed when Misha was playing Jimmy not Cas, which gets into a whole thing about how they inhabit Dean and Cas and have to switch off certain switches of their innate chemistry and find different switches instead to do this and I’m rambling, I’m having a Jensen and Misha as acting team moment here.
Then Michael aims  taunting #2 . “Look at you. Playing nursemaid to a nephilim. Nothing like the Castiel I knew. He would’ve never been so anemic.”
Cas’s answer “You’re confusing loyalty and compassion with weakness.”
Cas with all the growth and character development isn’t weak. His vulnerabilities are part of what makes him a whole character. I’m glad Cas sees himself this way too, he’s more than one thing.
Did Jack...just offer up a little piece of his soul for Dean? Oh ok. I’m fine. *hoists flag of surrender* I’ll just stop even trying not to have feelings about that. 
Then we’re in Dean’s mind.
*internal screaming*
I WAS NOT READY FOR THIS. I was really excited for the premise of this ep and wanted this but I was not read for...this.
Lots of recognizable sound bytes but “You’re gonna die and this is what you’re going to become” jumped out at me.
*shrieking*
Yeah so. Uh. This is the point in the episode where I started crying. 
And then Cas starts sensing out the void and says “So much trauma in Dean’s mind. So many scars” and that didn’t help me stop crying at all. The mere fact of Cas, surrounded by Dean’s mindspace and surrounded by Dean’s traumatic memories, witnessing this, I need to lie down and stare the ceiling and have feelings. BRB. 
When Cas touched Dean’s soul in Hell, and pulled him out, and put his soul back into his body, he maybe didn’t go in that deep, seeing Dean’s memories and all of that. 
And Sam isn’t that shook. “Dean’s strong,” Sam says. There’s the 2nd instance of that phrase about Dean. Sam knows Dean’s been through a lot. He’s not getting what Cas is getting at yet, why Cas is so shook, and I think it’s part Cas hasn’t witnessed it in quite this way yet and part it’s that Cas has already figured out the extent of exactly what Michael’s doing inside Dean’s head and Sam hasn’t.
Oh and hey, speaking of callbacks, since the ep firmly planted us in season four-ville, remember when Sam thought Dean was too weak and so he had to step up and drink demon blood, to make sure Dean was never torn to pieces ever again. Not that Sam managed to prevent that. So much has happened and now this Sam, sees Dean as strong.
“You’ve both been through a lot, and Dean is more than strong.” The 3rd instance, this time from Cas.
With a variation now. 
Dean is more than strong.
Dean is more than strong.
My heart’s gonna explode into little rainbows. That’s how Cas, specifically, sees Dean. Jack sees Dean as strong. Sam sees Dean as strong. Cas sees Dean as more than strong.
This is Dean through Cas’s eyes. This is Cas who in S10 looked at Dean, who said "I’m not any kind of a role model” and looked so sad and insisted “that’s not true.” Because he does know Dean and what Dean has gone through and remember he saw Dean in Hell.
*flaily hands* this is SO MUCH. BUT WAIT THERE IS MORE.
MICHAEL DROWNED DEAN IN HIS OWN TRAUMA. 
*rocks back and forth*
Trauma wasn’t enough the first time though. Dean kept kicking and fighting. Squirming. Because “Dean thrives on trauma.” Sam does, in fact get his brother quite well. It keeps Dean awake and aware and fighting to go home. Cas then raises the concept of “contentment” being where they will find Dean instead of the trauma this time because that’s a fresher concept for Dean and therefore more potent in keeping him docile. JUST STAB ME. 
“The people in your real life. We need you to come back.” 
HOW ABOUT IF I JUST SIT HERE QUIETLY SOBBING FOR A FEW MINUTES BEFORE I KEEP TYPING DOES THAT WORK FOR EVERYONE. 
Cas. Cas baby, you got all the way to a “we need you.” Brave little toaster, you’re halfway to an “I” statement. Baby steps. 
Another great callback, Sam using “Poughkeepsie.” Cas’s lack of an “I” statement plea about how much he’s needed, Dean just scoffs a little, but Sam reaches for a very personal code word, so it’s a virtual “I” statement, between him and his brother, and that’s what breaks Dean free of the loop. Gotta use the “I” statements. It needed to be more personal and Cas is still not able to articulate what he needed to in order to break through that. S8 Cas is very lucky Dean is good with using the “I” statement, progressing from “We need you...I need you” and broke through the brainwashing.
Michael, the biggest anti-TFW stan to ever anti-stan, then spills 2 more instance of demoralization, by voicing the most negative fears of what Sam and Cas are to Dean. He mocks Cas’s iconic introductory line and taunts him that all he’s done since then is make mistakes (Michael’s an anti-Cas stan...an anti-Jack stan...an anti-Sam stan)...and then Michael starts in on Sam, taunting with how happy Dean was when Sam left Dean to hunt alone with John.
"They’re you’re responsibilities. They’re a weight around your neck.”
This is cutting deep. This isn’t to demoralize Dean, this is to get Sam and Cas to give up. Michael’s using things that are rooted in some darker fears, and maybe some things that should be addressed about the familial dynamics but they aren’t truth-truths. Dean has carried so much on his shoulders. But none of Michael’s tauntingly demoralizing statements are truth about how Dean feels about Jack or Sam or Cas. (Small fandom side note, I can just imagine various extremes in the fandom using Michael’s taunts to hoist their own anti flags as if canon just verified their viewpoints when Michael is deadass the villain and the words meant to hurt and not what Dean actually feels and if you use it for one you don’t like, another exists aimed at your faves too. Oh it’s diabolical).
I said before the ep aired that Michael would be worse than Lucifer when he taunts because Lucifer is a raspberry blowing asshole child, while Michael knows how to do surgical strikes. And Michael is quietly vicious wow.
Side note into Jack using his powers at extreme need but it eats a tiny piece of his soul. Which isn’t exactly what I expected. I thought they might have him be able to start, a little, tapping into the powers at extreme need and it being adrenaline based, like early Sam’s powers. Or think Luke in the cave on Hoth. Returning gradually. But this is Jack purposefully burning up a little piece of his soul to do it and...this is not going to end well. This is not good. Let’s not head for soulless Jack. Can we not do that please. I’m just starting to get attached to him, he’s already died once, come on.
Sam, Dean, and Cas working in concert to trap Michael together in the storage room. HELL YES THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL THIS IS WHAT I WANTED.
Dean’s “I got him” -- that sound you heard is me screaming for 8 million years because Swan Song callback, flipped from Sam to Dean. I got him.
“I’m the cage.”
Ok no one has said that before. It is a slight callback to S6 Great Wall of Sam and gee that’s not going to hold forever. This is not good.
Oh crap, Billie. Oh crap what is happening. What does this mean, no no no. Please tell me this isn’t going to have to be Dean sacrificing himself to save the world from himself possessed by Michael burning the world.
I really needed Sam, Dean, and Cas to talk about some of the stuff that went on while they were in Dean’s mind but I’m really happy (destroyed) by this ep. I did have some high expectations for it but wasn’t sure how high to set them, but this journey into Dean’s head went to some emotional spots I really needed it to go to and I think moves their arcs, together, forward...Sam and Cas witnessing all that. Seeing how much Sam and Cas each in different ways understand Dean. How Sam, Dean, and Jack all think so highly of him. *cries* Showing how far they’ve come.
OK THANKS FOR DROWNING ME IN DEAN TRAUMA YOCKEY
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