#brian may appreciation post

[that-one-enby-ranger]

It's Sir Dr Brian Harold May's birthday today and I absolutely love and adore him, and I have been posting stuff on my Queen sideblog @rogers-maraccas, but I felt like posting this long rant on here because I FEEL LIKE IT AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME AND I WANT ALL YOU FUCKERS TO HERE ABOUT THIS BEAUTIFUL AMAZING MAN!

Out of all four members of Queen, I do not have a favourite, I love them all equally, not just for their music, but for them, because they are all great. But today is Brian's day, so we must discuss him. Next week will be Rogers birthday.

Firstly, Brian's talent is absolutely incredible and playing guitar like his is one of the things that keep me from quitting guitar. I watch him play guitar solos and I see the way his fingers move and how they can just, how the fuck do I say this without it sounding weird, finger the strings and he can move them up and down and jesus Christ this sounds weird but I don't fucking care because it's fucking Brian May.

I will admit that he is not THE best guitar player in the world, there are definitely some, specifically Jimi Hendrix that tops Brian, but to me, in my opinion, he is still one of the best. HE IS SO FUCKING TALENTED. And its not just guitar, he can write songs, he can sing really good, his voice is amazing and so gentle and soft and I love it. He has solo albums that are really good and I definitely recommend listening to them. My fav solo album of his is Back to the Light, and even though I don't have an absolute favourite, I'm Scared and Resurrection are definitely some of my favourites, and Let Your Heart Rule Your Head gives me the same sort of vibes as '39 which is just one of the amazing Queen songs Brian wrote.

Speaking of songs, Brian has written so many hits for Queen, as has the rest of them, but this post is focusing on Brian:

Some great songs he's written that I can think of just at the top of my head:

Fat Bottomed Girls, We Will Rock You (y'know, StOmP stOmP cLaP), '39, Now I'm here, Stone Cold Crazy, Sweet Lady, Tie Your Mother Down, Teo Torriate (Let Us Cling Together), Who Wants To Live Forever and Headlong.

Plus the, in my opinion, very underrated songs that are fucking great that he wrote:

White Queen (As it Began), the story behind the song is both very sweet and sad on its own, Father to Son, Brighton Rock, It's Late, Mother Love, Dead on Time, Dreamers Ball (absolutely fucking love this song. It's so good), Dancer, Dragon Attack, Sail Away Sweet Sister, Save Me, Tear It Up and Is This the World We Created.

That's not even all of them.

And his lyrics are so fucking great as well, as are the rest of the bands songs, but just look at some of these beautiful lyrics.

"Take me to the room where the green's all green" and "Take me to the room where the reds all red" from Dragon Attack

All of '39

"You call me sweet like I'm some kind of cheese" from Sweet Lady

"She used to be a woman with a hotdog stand" from Headlong.

Lyrics master right there.

I am aware that all the band chipped in to write The Show Must Go On, which is in my opinion the best Queen song and I could go on and entire different rant about that, but the lyrics and meaning behind it is amazing, and you get beautiful gems from those lyrics like "my wings are painted like the wings of butterflies, fairytales of yesterday will grow but never die. I can fly my friends"

AAAAAAAA HE IS SO FUCKING AMAZING

Oh my gosh and we can't forget that he is incredibly smart. He has a fucking PhD in astrophysics for fucks sake, he's a doctor. I remember reading somewhere that his IQ is 180, which is just seven IQ point thingys lower than Sheldon Cooper. If he wasnt a very famous guitarist then he most likely would have been a very successful astrophysicist.

Plus he's fucking knighted.

He has also accomplished so much outside of Queen and his solo stuff. He loves animals is an animal rights activist, publicly speaking against fox hunting and culling of badgers. He fucking loves badgers. And lots of different animals. I have multiple photos of Brian with animals.

He helped open the Mercury Phoenix Trust charity which was opened in honour of Freddie Mercury to help fight AIDS.

He bought a bunch of land where trees were going to get cut down to build houses and saved those trees and is now called May's Wood.

He would go on TV after Freddie died and stand up for Freddie and speak up against the press and all the negative very untrue things people were saying about Freddie. (Just pointing out he is not the only one that did this, Roger also did an amazing job on speaking out)

There is a lot more things than I mentioned but you get the point and my brain is blanking.

OH YEAH, he played live at the top of Buckingham palace.

Also when asked by someone if we would ever hear what happened inside of the legendary Queen parties. His response was just a couple seconds of silence and then...

"no."

And of course we can't have a Brian appreciation post without mentioning the Red Special. The Red Special is Brian's guitar that he's had ever since he was a kid, and he's used it at most shows (I find the fact that he didn't have it during Live Aid is a fucking crime). He made the guitar with his dad when he was a kid. I can never remember how old he was if he was 12 or 15 or something. Him and his dad made it out of some old furniture or something like that where the wood was really old and pretty much rotting. It's fucking amazing.

And he improvised and experimented and used a six pence coin as a pick and it gives it a unique sound. One time my sister and I was in a car and I was listening to my own music and my sister told me Queen was on the radio so I listened and she had never heard that song before and she heard the bit with the guitar solo and I asked her how she knew it was Queen and she said she recognised the sound of Bri's guitar. If his guitar broke I would cry for him and the Red Special.

And I know this is talking about Brian, but I just feel the need to point how good of an actor Gwilym Lee is. He played Brian in the movie, and he was the most accurate out of the entire cast in my opinion. When Brian showed Bohemian Rhapsody to his kids they thought that his voice was the actual Brian's voice just overlapping and Gwilym was lip sinking. He wasn't, he's just that good.

I've been watching Bohemian Rhapsody while writing this, and I started this towards the start of the movie and now I'm up to the bit where Freddie finally ditches Paul so I'm gonna stop here.

Just remember that Brian May is an amazing man who is extremely talented and kind and has done extraordinary things, even more than on here. If I ever met him I would tell him that and tell him I love him more than I can say and maybe even more than some of my friends and that he has changed my life in ways I can't even understand.

What a man.

Extra:

Absolutely adorable

[littlemissheavenonearth]

Disco Deacy Appreciation Post

[sophsun1]

If anyone wants some brian kinney/britin centric podcast content I recommend the liberty diner dish if you haven't listened to it. I'm onto season three of their brian deep dives and even though there's some things I don't necessarily agree with there's a lot of meta that is the same as my own and it's just a fun hour of celebrating brian as he should be 😌

[aswebeg]

any wolfstar!musicians fic, no matter who wrote it, gives off may & rose vibes from concert for Freddie and there’s no other way

[transdanger]

My favorite guitarists are Ray Toro and Brian May and I will not be taking any comments or criticism on it.

[bijouxcarys]

Brian May’s Face - An Appreciation Post

I really love his nose in particular.

He was quite insecure about his nose and how thin he was as a teenager and going into his early 20s. He also didn’t like his hair too much, which is why he tried to straighten it in the late 60s. He truly has never realised how beautiful he really is. It’s sad :(

[sister-lucifer]

Hiya, hope you're having a pog day <3

I wanted to make a request if possible (also if you're comfortable with it, if not, feel free to ignore this ask!! no worries)

nsfw headcanons for Hoodie and Masky with a trans masc s/o (with top surgery scars)

Masky + Hoodie w/ a trans masc partner who has top surgery scars 

Masky + Hoodie x Reader (separately) 

Genre: Fluff + NSFW, headcanons 

Content/warnings: There’s a lot of talk of reader’s body but it’s all positive, Tim is insecure about his scars, chest + tummy kisses, tooth rotting fluff AND some soft romantic NSFW 😌 

Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio (request rules + masterlist in pinned post)!

Also, please reblog! it’s free, takes two seconds, and really helps me out 

Feedback is encouraged and appreciated:)

Not fully proofread! Let me know if you see any errors!

A/N: Sorry if you wanted like…hardcore nasty NSFW, this is really sweet 😔 

Tim Wright/Masky 

Although I don’t personally headcanon Tim as trans (though i definitely enjoy trans tim content 👌😋), he certainly has his fair share of scars 

They’re mostly on his arms and hands

Some are from fights, others are from miscellaneous accidents, some have been there as long as he can remember and he’s not even sure where they came from

But theres one thing he knows for sure:

He HATES when people point them out 

He can’t really explain it, he just hates having attention drawn to them 

You may not feel the same way, but even if you say you don’t mind he’ll be careful not to point them out 

That’s not to say you won’t catch him staring when he thinks you’re not looking, though 

The scars just look so…natural, on you 

Like they’ve always been there 

He forgets that they’re scars, really 

He’s not sure why he feels so different about scars on you than he does on him 

The longer he’s with you the less he notices your scars anymore 

And the less he notices his own too 

Over time he becomes less insecure about them as he watches you not only live with but accept and maybe even embrace your scars 

And there’s something he loves about being able to run his hand down your bare chest, the marks on his hand matching with your scars 

Especially when he finds you in bed with him, climbing on top of him and straddling his lap 

He cant stop himself from reaching out and pulling your shirt off, his large hands splaying out over your torso as he admires you, feeling your heartbeat thump behind your ribs 

If your position allows him to see your chest, don’t be surprised if he can’t pull his eyes away 

He’s not very talkative during sex, but he’s always sure to remind you how handsome you are 

He knows sex can sometimes trigger dysphoria, and he doesn’t want you to forget that you’re his sweet boy, forever and always

You can thank him for the praise by taking one of his scarred hands and pressing a soft kiss to it, a silent reassurance that his feelings about you are not unrequited 

Brian Thomas/Hoodie 

Brian, on the other hand, is very vocal about how attractive he finds your scars 

Although he’s got a few of his own, they’re generally not very noticeable 

And even if someone did point them out, he’d simply laugh them off 

So he feels comfortable telling you how much he loves your scars 

They’re a reminder of how strong you are, he says 

It’s not easy embracing your true trans self in this world, and you should wear your scars with pride 

He’s got an artistic streak, so don’t be surprised if he asks to draw on them 

He may even suggest getting a cool tattoo to emphasize them! 

Like barbed wire or a flower chain or something 

But if you don’t want that, he’s perfectly content simply being allowed to run his fingers over your scars 

He’ll often absentmindedly begin tracing them whenever you’re laying together, sometimes not even realizing he’s doing it 

He loves to kiss your chest too 

He’s a romantic type, what can I say 🤷 

He just loves to give your scars all the gentle attention they deserve, he can’t help it 

Don’t be surprised if his hands find your scars as if they have a mind of their own, always wandering to your chest whenever you’re standing at the counter or sitting on the couch with him 

And don’t be surprised if those wandering hands lead to more than just gentle touches 

If you allow him his way during sex, he’ll always insist on having you on your back 

He’ll pay extra attention to your chest, and i don’t just mean your scars (although they certainly aren’t ignored) 

He’s much more vocal than Tim, a constant stream of praises and reassurances spilling from his mouth and he drones on and on about how handsome you are and how lucky he is to have such a beautiful boy like you to take care of 

You’re an absolute beauty to him, and he’s going to make sure he tells you every chance he gets  

Brian Thomas: The Dysphoria Miracle Cure 

[fuckyeahdeaky]

Brian May appreciation post cause I love him!!

[magnetic-rose]

Sorry for spamming all the likes but your Varric theories are so good and I am 100 percent in agreement with every single one of them (BioWare Bianca is gone, let us romance the silver fox please).

Also a question: we saw today that the main companions all mocapped for the cinematic scenes. Do you think this means Brian Bloom also mocapped for the first time for Varric and we may potentially get an actual, full performance of how he’s always intended him to be physically? 👀

omg thank you! i appreciate that you're enjoying my posts.

i don't know enough about the BTS of dragon age to know if they'd mocap all the characters or just the main companions & rook. it's also possible that just because mocap was used in a lot of scenes, doesn't necessarily mean it was used for every scene in the game.

but i will say when i was watching the 20 minute gameplay i felt like it featured some of the best animation bioware's ever done as a game studio, especially on varric and solas' facial expressions during their confrontation. one of the things that caught my eye was varric squeezing bianca before aiming her at solas. and his expression before separating from the group, you can literally see the moment where he strengthens his resolve to confront solas. it's little things like that that excite me about the character animation in the game.

right now they seem very tight-lipped on varric's role in datv so i don't expect to see any BTS stuff with brian bloom anytime soon. but i'd love to see videos of him in the mocap suit eventually, maybe after the game is out idk.

[cinematicnomad]

The QAF gifsets you keep posting are really making me want to break out my box sets and rewatch the series. Now that the Olympics are over, I may not be able to resist any longer. But ugh it's so hard to watch knowing that Brian and Justin don't end up together. Hated that decision so much.

@sophsun1 is AMAZING and has been posting so many beautiful, perfectly colored, high quality gifs every day that i literally cannot keep up with them haha. i've been queueing so many gifsets so that i don't flood you all with a billion gifsets at once, but i am so thrilled that it is reminding so many QAF fans about how great the show is! the gifseries is definitely making ME consider pulling out my own boxset to do my first rewatch in years.

re:the ending, i definitely read it more as a "not never, just not now" situation for brian/justin. i know brian is VERY open ended "whether we see each other next weekend or never again, it's just time" but like. given everything that happened in their relationship and how obvious it is that brian loved justin, i think the "never again" comment is just him being a little flippant and deferring to his usual attempt at downplaying his own commitment out of comfort. i personally think that man was on a flight to NYC basically as soon as he left babylon lol. i definitely agree that i wish they were just definitively together at the end, but i also think the ending feels very true to brian and justin—and i DO appreciate brian recognizing that justin deserves to spread his wings and really give NYC a shot.

anyway, again, let's thank @sophsun1 for their amazing gifs so we can keep staring at brian and justin all day long ❤️

[captainsophiestark]

So something crazy happened this week - I hit 1.5k followers! 🥳

Genuinely thank you all so much for following me and supporting my writing. When I first joined Tumblr, I truly never could've dreamed how wonderful the community, friends, and fandom I've found would be. I love you all so much!

I've never done a follower celebration before, but I really wanted to do one for this milestone, so here we are! It's D&D themed, but no knowledge of D&D is required to join in the fun.

Our 1.5k follower campaign is going to be running from today, May 29th, to Wednesday, June 6th. During that time, feel free to send me as many things off the list below as you like! Interacting with people on here is one of my absolute favorite parts of Tumblr, so feel free to come into my ask box as many times as you like 😄

I'll be tagging all posts for this celebration as #Sophie's 1.5k Follower Campaign. You don't have to follow me to participate, but it would be greatly appreciated. Without further ado, here are the actions you can take during this campaign:

Zone of Truth - Send me an ask with a game, like KMK/FMK, Would You Rather, or anything else you can think of!

Roll Initiative - Roll some dice and send me a character from the list at the bottom of this post, along with the numbers you rolled! I have prompt lists left over from my Year of Fic planning, and I'll put your character and your dice rolls togeter to write a corresponding headcanon (or possibly longer fic, if the inspiration really strikes!). Roll one of the following, some of the following, or all of the following: 1d8, 1d10, 1d12, and 1d20. You can roll with real dice or by typing "roll dice" into google! Please specificy if you have a strong preference between a romantic or platonic fic.

Nat 20 (2 left) - Send me a character I write for and a request, and I'll write you a oneshot! My time's a little limited right now, so I'm capping these at 3 total requests. In the immortal words of Brian Murphy, "Roll three Nat 20s in a row!". If you want to also roll a d20 and send me the result, I'll add a dialogue prompt corresponding with the number you rolled to the request. Please specificy if you have a strong preference between romanitc and platonic fic.

Perception Check - I have a good amount of writing queued up for my Year of Fic and a few other projects, so send me this for a sneak peek of works to come! If you want to include a few fandoms or characters you'd most like to see included in the sneak peek, feel free to do that! Just no promises that I'll have something including them to show you

Behind the DM Screen - Send me the title of an existing fic of mine, along with specific questions if you have them, and I'll give you a little info on the process of creating the fic!

Free Action - Come into my ask box and chat with me! About fandoms, cute pet pitcures, or whatever else! Anons are welcome as usual, and if you feel like you want to be recognized without coming off anon, then you can claim an emoji and use it as a signature on your asks, so I know who you are! As of now, 🥰 emoji is the only one taken

Thank you again to every single one of you who's here with me now, from the beginning of this blog or from earlier today! I'm so happy to have you here and as a part of the party!

Writing Request Character Options:

Bridgerton: Anthony Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Colin Bridgerton, Eloise Bridgerton

Crescent City: Tristan Flynn, Ithan Holstrom, Lidia Cervos

DC: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd

Marvel: Grant Ward, Jack Thompson, Daniel Sousa, Angie Martinelli, Harley Keener, Pietro Maximoff

*Riordanverse: Luke Castellan, Thalia Grace, Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, Piper McLean, Jason Grace

Star Trek: Jim Kirk

Star Wars: Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala

Top Gun: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Natasha "Phoenix" Trace

The Vampire Diaries: Mason Lockwood, Klaus Mikaelson, Kol Mikaelson, Damon Salvatore, Enzo St. John, Kai Parker, Caroline Forbes, Matt Donovan

*All characters in the Riordanverse are going to be book-based, since that's what I know best, and will be written as their ages at the end of Heroes of Olympus or older for requests involving romance

****************

Tagging a few mutuals who I've absolutely loved getting to this point with 🥰 thank you guys for being such a wonderful part of my experience in this place!

@ghostofskywalker @bandshirts-andbooks @trekkingaroundasgard @arttheclown-coveredinblood @flowers-and-fichte @everyhazyday @dawn-petrichor-world @space-helen @ro-is-struggling @writeroutoftime @shadowdaddies @hawaiianpizzaenjoyer

[sewersewersewercouch]

A macro post for a Micro-phone!

To those of you I’ve been threatening with this post for god knows how long–yes, I’m finally doing it. I’m writing the goddamn Microphone meta, because I have SO MANY THOUGHTS on this silly little sentient microphone. (She’s not even my favorite character, she’s my second favorite. My favorite is Cabby, but Cabby makes me go into such a feral state that I can barely form words about her other than writing copious amounts of fanfiction. I digress.) Before I get into it, though, I have some general “please be normal on my post” housekeeping I want to start with.

Firstly, this post is about Microphone. Specifically, about Microphone and the themes of choice and morality as they appear in her arc. This post is NOT meant to comment on the morality or choices of any other character. Specifically, by the nature of Mic’s story in the majority of the show, Taco will probably come up a lot because she’s there for a lot of it, but in a weird way, a lot of this post is kind of about how Mic’s arc doesn’t revolve around Taco as much as it’s often believed to? I don’t know, hopefully it’ll make more sense when you read it, but whatever, this post is not about my views on Taco.

To add on–THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT SHIPPING. I don’t want to hear about how much you like or dislike XYZ ship in the comments or reblogs of this post. Make your own damn post. If you want to know how I feel about a certain ship, you can always feel free to ask, just…like, not here. 

Also, I will admit, part of the reason I started making this post is because there were certain interpretations of Microphone in this fandom that bothered me, but I don’t want that to be the vibe of this post as a whole. I do the “I’m always right about this character and nobody else gets them” bit as much as the next guy, but when it extends beyond being a bit, that’s when you start to be kind of an asshole who refuses to so much as listen to views different from their own. I don’t want to be that. I know I’m not incapable of being wrong, and I also know there’s a lot of this that’s subjective, because it’s a fictional story written by people whose minds I cannot read. I don’t want to make this post to hate on others’ opinions, I want to make this post to love Mic! We are all love Mic!

Lastly, I started drafting (read: rotating in my brain and vaguely mentioning it to friends) this post pre-II16, and as I’m writing this now I’m just after act 1. So this may have spoilers for act 1, but also some of this I came up with before that even existed and had to kind of adjust in order to account for that. Obviously Mic wasn’t in there much, but there are a few small adjustments so I will say here there be spoilers. I also have so much ADHD (so does Mic, but that’s a different meta that I mayhaps will write if this goes over well) and I am allergic to being concise or staying on topic. The title does not fuck around, it really is quite a macro post. Sorry in advance.

That said, it’s Microphone time!

Ok so there are a couple quotes from a Brian livestream that I really appreciated because they kinda summed up the general thesis statement of this post, if you will? So I’m gonna put those here and then refer back to them as needed:

“What I find most interesting is how you would think when [Taco] comes back in season 2, and she’s like, ‘oh, I’m gonna make a deal with Microphone’, that she is going to manipulate Microphone, she is going to be the one in control, the one in power, the one, you know, leading the more ignorant and innocent Microphone, but Microphone at a point is like, ‘I’m done,’ and cuts Taco off.”

“I think Microphone was completely justified to leave [Taco] in Hatching the Plan. Perhaps would have even been justified to do so sooner than that. But, you know, it’s really up to what she wants and what she’s comfortable with, and she set a boundary, and we stan.”

“I really enjoyed the subversion of expectation with [Microphone], that she was not a victim, played an active role, and when a line was crossed, she was like, ‘I’m done, I’m out.’ And you really gotta respect the integrity of that, I certainly do.”

Okay, remember those? Good. We’re going to get back to them in a while, because we’re going through this shit episode by episode.

So, for the first…quite a while, actually, Mic doesn’t really do a whole lot. Like, we see that she’s generally pretty friendly but with a rather short temper, and her main schtick is that 1) she’s loud, 2) this causes her to screw challenges up, and 3) this in term makes most of her team not like her and behave quite rudely towards her. That’s kinda all we got. 

Oh, and she seems to be being stalked by some kind of mysterious entity, but whatever, that’s a later problem.

One of the earlier on scenes I’d like to draw your attention to is in Theft and Battery, where Cheesy walks up to Mic and, apropos of nothing, says, “Mic! I've just experienced the most horrible thing! It was a monstrosity! Your personality! Get it? Because everyone thinks you're annoying!” Which, like, I know I said I wasn’t commenting on the morality of other characters, but I will take this moment to say, fucking asshole. I don’t usually dislike Cheesy but I would have decked him for this one. Mic went so easy on him.

But I digress (I do that a lot! You’re going to find that out over the course of this post!) We see Mic blow up like she usually does at comments like this, but before that, we see inside her head for a second—she imagines being surrounded by Cheesys, all laughing at her expense.

This is the first time we truly see how much all those remarks from her teammates actually affect her. It’s not just a split-second flash of anger—all those things are really, truly, hurting her.

In the next episode, Rain On Your Charade, we see the first time she has an actually good interaction with another Grand Slam, this being Soap. Mic and Soap seem to bounce off each other pretty well—Mic’s impulsivity is a good counter for Soap’s much more rigid way of thinking. They give each other advice on their respective problems and comfort one another. For once in her life (literally in her life thus far, given you-know-what!) we can see Mic having a healthy interaction where she is clearly valued and supportive. Someone who encourages her to listen to her heart—as we see, this is gonna be a theme.

So, of course, it’s just Mic’s luck that Soap gets immediately eliminated.

And now Mic is stuck alone on a team that hates her—that makes disparaging remarks about her every move, and that is doing an absolute number on her mental health. She refers to herself, in her own diary, as annoying, harmful, random, useless, insignificant, a loser. And now she has absolutely nobody in her corner.

Enter Taco, with a cup of tea and a deal to make. 

Okay, the first thing I want to address is the way that Microphone reacts to seeing Taco. Well, I mean, first, she reacts with, “AAAAAA,” as I’m sure many of us would if a British woman jumped out of a bush at us. But after she’s done doing that, she says, “What are you doing here, Taco?” And it makes me sound really silly to say “how’d she know her name?” because, uh, duh, genius, it’s an object show, she’s a taco, but like…you get what I mean, right? She addresses Taco like she knows who she is. Which makes me wonder, did she see season 1? (Did she even exist when season 1 would have been airing?) But she can’t have done, or she would have heard about all the Pickle stuff. The most likely option in my opinion would be that she heard the season 1 contestants talking about it, I guess? But either way, she seems to know that Taco has done bad things in the past, and instinctively doesn’t trust her. (I mean, also she has been actively stalking her, which maybe doesn’t help. Whatever.)

I don’t have too much to say about the rest of this interaction—Taco offers to guide Microphone through the game in exchange for a fifty percent cut of her winnings, Microphone declines, Taco tells her to think about it.

Next episode—Mazed and Confused! As usual, the Grand Slams immediately ditch Mic, and she winds up getting kinda pulled into the Bright Lights group. And there’s some interesting Mic dialogue—featuring the II-typical move of characters not discussing their issues outright but rather showing them via thinly veiled projection. And I will fully admit that I love this. Every time I see it I go nuts for it. Firstly, Marshmallow is talking about Apple using her, to which Mic says, “Maybe it's not so bad if someone uses you, if- if it benefits you as well, right?” Then she has this interaction with Fan:

Fan: B-but in that song, the vocalist lovingly chronicles how they couldn't deal with themselves until they gain the companion they need! It's pure poetry!

Microphone: So, everything he does is decided by someone else? Nice message…

Fan: Well, Microphone, what gives you the right to have an "interpretation"? When's the last time you gained something of value from true art such as this?

Microphone: Ugh... certain people always tell me I have so much to gain.

So, obviously, “certain people” is Taco, and we can see how conflicted Microphone is about the whole situation. On the one hand, she doesn’t like the idea of blindly following someone else’s directions without making any of her own decisions, but also, even if she’s concerned that she’s being used, she does see how it could benefit her. (Also, this is far from the last time we’re going to see Microphone flimsily attempting to justify something going on with her.)

Well, apparently she comes to a decision, because she runs off to get help from Taco. With Taco’s guidance, Mic makes it through the maze, and Baseball even compliments her. We see a clear example of how she could potentially benefit from this partnership. (Well, until she accidentally gives away the position of the exit to Test Tube, but I digress.)

As we get into “Kick the Bucket,” it seems like Mic’s pretty all-in on working with Taco. However, right off the bat, we see a moment where Mic outright gives Taco a hard no on one of her directions, that being, using her temporary paralyzer. (Side note: it absolutely cracks me up how she goes “you don’t do that!” like she’s telling off a small child for stealing candy or something. Never change, Mic.)

We see a couple of things here—one, that Microphone has no reservations of telling Taco she won’t do something where she crosses a certain line. And secondly, with some other evidence, we can figure out where that line is. She refuses to use the temporary paralyzer, she freaks out about Lightbulb and Test Tube being sent back in time, she stops Taco from letting Knife’s minecart go over a drop, she makes her promise “no violence” before they go on the Shimmers’ ship. 

And yet, look at the scene after this, with Balloon. She purposely tries to get in his head to make him feel anxious and afraid that he’s at risk of being eliminated, and then later makes fun of him to her other teammates in order to cast doubt on him. And she came up with this plan against Taco’s advice—although it does end up impressing Taco, that’s not why she does this, it’s pure Microphone. So it isn’t hurting others that she draws the line—one could clearly argue that her messing with Balloon like that is pretty hurtful. It’s specifically physical violence that bothers her, which is kind of an interesting place to draw the line in a world where dead contestants can be revived, but emotions are forever.

Hell, Mic says it outright in the next episode, Alternate Reality Show–”You say that like we didn’t do our share of permanent damage.” She’s aware what she did was “permanent damage,” and Taco didn’t even tell her to do it, and yet, she did. This is where we first start to see the cognitive dissonance that Mic is dealing with here—she has a strong sense of morals, seeing as she’s giving back the temporary paralyzer explicitly against Taco’s wishes, because “it’s the right thing to do.” And yet, she’s actively making choices that go against that sense, and she doesn’t know how to feel about that.

Next up, we’re looking at Mine Your Own Business, AKA one of Mic’s best episodes. Her and Taco’s plan in this episode is to try to get Knife on their side because he’s seen that they’re working together. This goes…not as planned, starting from the moment they blow their cover by getting into an argument about whether you should say “excuse me” when you sneeze, while invisible behind him. (We didn’t get enough of them as a comedic duo, by the way. They crack me up so bad in this episode.) Anyways, Mic tries valiantly to bring Knife in with a very convincing, “Join us…yeah!” When Taco and Knife inevitably begin arguing, however, Mic says “We just wanna help!” Which…do you? Yeah, okay girl, keep telling yourself that.

There’s also the little scene where Mic is trying to get Taco to open up about why she was reaching for the portal. This is one of the first interactions we see them have that isn’t about the game. Microphone just…genuinely wants to know what was distressing Taco so much. You know, like you might with a friend. And that’s one thing that interests me about this—Microphone thinking of Taco like a friend isn’t something that Taco did on purpose to gain her trust, and in fact, she seems rather resistant to it. It’s entirely Microphone initiating these friendly interactions. (Even though soon after she does imply she doesn’t feel she really knows the real Taco.)

Then we see the bit where Knife is about to go off a cliff, Taco gives a thumbs up, but Mic doesn’t approve and manages to get Knife into their minecart. I touched on this above, but this is another example of Mic’s resistance to physically harming others.

The next time we see this terrific trio, Taco apologizes to Mic for not being open with her, and I kid you not, Mic responds with, “aww, Taco!” (I reiterate: Never change, Mic.) And, even when Knife explains what happened with Pickle, Mic still comes to Taco’s defense. Some of this is because of the fact that Mic is beginning to truly see Taco as a friend, yes, but I think another part of it is that previously mentioned cognitive dissonance. She wants to believe she’s doing the right thing, and not just aiding and abetting someone who hurts others, so of course she’s going to want to defend Taco–because if Taco is a bad person, and she’s purposefully helping her achieve her ends just for the sake of winning a game show, what does that make her?

On to Hatching the Plan! (We’re in the home stretch, I promise!) We see Mic joking about the idea of what happened to Pickle happening to her—”At least, until you inevitably ‘drop me too,’ or whatever.” Clearly, she didn’t take too much stock in Knife’s words, and she’s pretty convinced she’s safe from a similar fate. (Which she is! Because Pickle was being unknowingly strung along, and Mic is willingly helping Taco reach her goal. But that’s a later problem.)

Now we see Knife confronting Microphone and trying to convince her to, “stop, idiot, have some dignity?” To which Mic tells him that she “has a voice” (as Taco, in the background, turns off MePad’s volume), “no one’s shutting [her] down” (as Taco powers MePad off) and she’s “not just being dragged along” (as Taco literally drags MePad along.) And the thing is, obviously there’s the ironic juxtaposition of what Mic is saying and what Taco is doing, but Mic also…isn’t entirely wrong?

Remember those Brian quotes from earlier? Here’s where we start using them!

Because here’s the thing—like he said, you would totally expect Taco to be playing Microphone the entire time, to be the one in power and manipulating her, because that’s what happened to Pickle. But that’s…not what’s happening. Rather, Taco has been pretty upfront about what she expects of Mic and what both of them have to…well, for a lack of a better word, gain. And it’s not like Mic has no choice in this matter! She has repeatedly shown that she is willing to say no to Taco when she crosses a line, and as Brian said, she would be totally justified to have noped out way earlier than she ends up doing. But…she doesn’t. She’s making her choices, and then bending over to justify them, because as I said, Mic has a strong sense of morals and knows there’s something that’s off, but she doesn’t want to admit she knows that and has continued to do what she’s doing.

So anywho. Taco and Mic use MePad’s teleportation to go after Fan and Test Tube on the ship, but not before Mic tries to make Taco promise no violence. Taco does not promise this, and of course, immediately kills Fan and Test Tube upon arriving.

This is where Mic’s cognitive dissonance runneth over, and she makes the executive decision to ditch Taco’s ass and leave the game.

I’m going to put Mic’s whole little speech here, because I really like it and it’s kind of the culmination of all the points I’m making: “I haven't been... listening to my heart. Instead, I've been listening to... this... well... It was a voice in my head! And it would tell me how to... go further. Further than I was willing to go. I heard it so often that I never... I never heard myself. So... what's the point?” And also, “I didn't make the best choices. So now... I'm making my first good one. This is what I want.”

Because that’s kind of the thing, right? Deep down, Microphone always knew cheating and messing with people was wrong. But she was, by choice, not listening to that instinct, because what Taco was promising seemed so attractive. Getting the prize, yes, but she also just fucking wants friends. And when she does well in the game, her teammates want to be friendlier to her. And also, as I said she came to see Taco as a friend, and she didn’t want to lose that either.

But…okay, here’s where I complain about a take I don’t like, and I’m sorry about that. I find it to be an oversimplification that Mic left Taco because “Taco hurt her.” Because, honestly, she didn’t really directly? What drove Mic to leave was seeing Taco hurt other people, and that by proxy, Microphone was…not even a bystander to these things, but kind of an active participant. Morally speaking, she couldn’t sit with that. So she decided that the prize and the recognition weren’t worth it, and boom, she was done.

I don’t really have much to say on the following episodes that are already out, because Mic has  barely in here. But I do have a hot take on what might potentially come next for Mic I’d like to share.

I don’t really…care whether Mic and Taco end up on good terms.

Okay, maybe that’s not the best way to say it—rather, I think there are ways to do either way well, and ways to do either way wrong, and what I care more is about whether Mic’s story is well-written than which direction it actually goes.

Quick disclaimer that I drafted this section pre-II16, and at the point we’re at now, I’m operating under the assumption that the deleted contestants aren’t actually going to be dead forever and we will have Pickle again. (If this turns out not to be the case please don’t make fun of me.)

I’ve seen a lot of discourse around the fandom about whether Microphone and Pickle will forgive Taco, and the first problem comes right there with aggregating them into one MicrophoneandPickle entity. Microphone and Pickle are two different people who had very different relationships with Taco. As I’ve said earlier, the Pickle that Taco knew was entirely a facade, whereas with Mic…well I don’t want to say she was entirely honest about who she was, because I don’t think she’s entirely honest about who she is with herself, so let’s just say as honest as she’s capable of being. Pre-II16, my suspicion was that they were going to split the difference and have one end up on good terms with Taco and the other not. Like, I think in terms of the message that the show is trying to give, this would be a good one—if someone has wronged you and tries to make amends, you can choose to accept that or you can choose to walk away, and neither is a morally wrong choice. Post-The Reality of the Situation, I’m going to say that if this does happen, it’s going to be Mic the former and Pickle the latter, just having seen how Taco’s apology went over with Pickle. And that’s the thing—Pickle had no choice in what happened to him. Mic had agency over her situation, and went along with it in full knowledge of what that entailed. The Taco that Pickle had a relationship doesn’t exist, but in Mic’s case, she does. And most importantly—Pickle’s qualm with Taco is that she hurt him, but Mic’s was her actions towards other people, not Mic herself. If it’s proven that Taco has changed and doesn’t want to hurt others anymore…I think it’s not impossible that Mic could be lenient.

But either way—whether Mic ends on good or bad terms with Taco—what would make it satisfying to me is if it’s not framed about whether Taco “deserves” or “doesn’t deserve” her forgiveness, but rather whether Mic chooses to forgive her. Like Brian said—it’s up to what she wants and what she’s comfortable with. Choice has been such a major theme for Mic, and I think she deserves to have her agency at the forefront.

Anyways, it is literally after two in the morning and I wrote this entire thing in a fit of hyperfocus, god help me. Again, if this does well and anyone wants to see a “why Microphone II has ADHD real and canon” post I will absolutely do that.

[lurkingshan]

✨2023: A Summary✨

Post your most popular and/or favourite edit/gifset/analysis for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)

Tagged by @dribs-and-drabbles, thanks dribs! It's kind of fun to go back and see what I was on about at various points this year.

January

This blog was a mere bebe this time last year and I hadn't started posting anything substantial yet, so nothing of note here.

February

most popular — Making fun of Hira in Utsukushii Kare 2 (affectionately)

favorite — Praising Moonlight Chicken's character writing

March

most popular — The Glory does revenge right

favorite — Whining about people using the friends to lovers label wrong

April

most popular — Celebrating Queen Ae Ri from The Eighth Sense

favourite(s) — Making sure people understand Ji Hyun is a drama dork, helping to kick off the most batshit week of discourse in T8S fandom, and of course the first (of many) appreciation posts for Porsche's sweater

May

most popular — On Step By Step removing a scene critiquing BGP because of fan outcry

favorite(s) — 10 Things I Love About WDYEY and 10 Things I Love About Khun Chai (please watch them if you haven't yet people!)

June

most popular — Having a ball with King the Land

favorite(s) — Breaking down Pat's effect on Phupha in Our Skyy 2, the complexity of family trauma in Our Dining Table, and Jeng's reaction to his failed confession in Step by Step (ugh remember when this show was good). And of course this was the month that the La Plue meta round up was born.

July

most popular — Bitching about romance discourse (it was about King the Land at the time but it's quite widely applicable lol)

favourite(s) — Hysterical praise for La Pluie's conflict writing, kudos for Be My Favorite's character work for Kawi, breaking down where Step By Step went wrong

August

most popular — Ah the good times when we were still so amped about Only Friends

favorite(s) — Every moment of the My Ride rewatch, great moments in subtitlery from Laws of Attraction, and praise for Sing My Crush

September

most popular — That one time I actually liked a Mew thing in Only Friends

favorite(s) — Trying to get y'all to watch Love in Translation, comparing Someday or One Day and A Time Called You, clarifying the differences between Boston and Brian Kinney

October

most popular — Boston and Nick my beloveds (it would be shocking if they didn't make this list they are responsible for many of my most popular posts)

favorite(s) — A couple I Feel You Linger in the Air breakdowns: why the romance works despite being underwritten, and Fong Kaew's excellent character arc

November

most popular — Goofing on the unseriousness of Kiseki: Dear to Me

favorite(s) — Breaking down how the writing choices in Only Friends sent toxic messages and final thoughts on the IFYL finale

December

most popular — Japanese BL starter pack

favorite(s) — Simping over Mohk simping over Day in Last Twilight, yelling about Cherry Magic Thailand, kicking off bl superlatives 2023

--

In addition to all the people dribs tagged that I am double tagging because I want to see your answers (@wen-kexing-apologist @grapejuicegay @btwinlines @twig-tea @rocketturtle4 @waitmyturtles @telomeke and @respectthepetty) I am adding some other folks I know wrote/created a lot this year because I'm curious what stuck with you most: @bengiyo, @ranchthoughts, @jemmo, @chickenstrangers, @chicademartinica, @slayerkitty, @my-rose-tinted-glasses, @colourme-feral, @blmpff, @liyazaki, @wanderlust-in-my-soul, @troubled-mind, @benkaaoi.

[mariacallous]

In early 2022, two Google policy staffers met with a trio of women victimized by a scam that resulted in explicit videos of them circulating online—including via Google search results. The women were among the hundreds of young adults who responded to ads seeking swimsuit models only to be coerced into performing in sex videos distributed by the website GirlsDoPorn. The site shut down in 2020, and a producer, a bookkeeper, and a cameraman subsequently pleaded guilty to sex trafficking, but the videos kept popping up on Google search faster than the women could request removals.

The women, joined by an attorney and a security expert, presented a bounty of ideas for how Google could keep the criminal and demeaning clips better hidden, according to five people who attended or were briefed on the virtual meeting. They wanted Google search to ban websites devoted to GirlsDoPorn and videos with its watermark. They suggested Google could borrow the 25-terabyte hard drive on which the women’s cybersecurity consultant, Charles DeBarber, had saved every GirlsDoPorn episode, take a mathematical fingerprint, or “hash,” of each clip, and block them from ever reappearing in search results.

The two Google staffers in the meeting hoped to use what they learned to win more resources from higher-ups. But the victim’s attorney, Brian Holm, left feeling dubious. The policy team was in “a tough spot” and “didn’t have authority to effect change within Google,” he says.

His gut reaction was right. Two years later, none of those ideas brought up in the meeting have been enacted, and the videos still come up in search.

WIRED has spoken with five former Google employees and 10 victims’ advocates who have been in communication with the company. They all say that they appreciate that because of recent changes Google has made, survivors of image-based sexual abuse such as the GirlsDoPorn scam can more easily and successfully remove unwanted search results. But they are frustrated that management at the search giant hasn’t approved proposals, such as the hard drive idea, which they believe will more fully restore and preserve the privacy of millions of victims around the world, most of them women.

The sources describe previously unreported internal deliberations, including Google’s rationale for not using an industry tool called StopNCII that shares information about nonconsensual intimate imagery (NCII) and the company’s failure to demand that porn websites verify consent to qualify for search traffic. Google’s own research team has published steps that tech companies can take against NCII, including using StopNCII.

The sources believe such efforts would better contain a problem that’s growing, in part through widening access to AI tools that create explicit deepfakes, including ones of GirlsDoPorn survivors. Overall reports to the UK’s Revenge Porn hotline more than doubled last year, to roughly 19,000, as did the number of cases involving synthetic content. Half of over 2,000 Brits in a recent survey worried about being victimized by deepfakes. The White House in May urged swifter action by lawmakers and industry to curb NCII overall. In June, Google joined seven other companies and nine organizations in announcing a working group to coordinate responses.

Right now, victims can demand prosecution of abusers or pursue legal claims against websites hosting content, but neither of those routes is guaranteed, and both can be costly due to legal fees. Getting Google to remove results can be the most practical tactic and serves the ultimate goal of keeping violative content out of the eyes of friends, hiring managers, potential landlords, or dates—who almost all likely turn to Google to look up people.

A Google spokesperson, who requested anonymity to avoid harassment from perpetrators, declined to comment on the call with GirlsDoPorn victims. She says combating what the company refers to as nonconsensual explicit imagery (NCEI) remains a priority and that Google’s actions go well beyond what is legally required. “Over the years, we’ve invested deeply in industry-leading policies and protections to help protect people affected by this harmful content,” she says. “Teams across Google continue to work diligently to bolster our safeguards and thoughtfully address emerging challenges to better protect people.”

In an interview with WIRED, a Google search product manager overseeing anti-harm work says blocking videos using hashes is challenging to adopt because some websites don’t publish videos in a way that search engines can compare against. Speaking on condition of anonymity, she says Google has encouraged explicit websites to address that. She adds that there’s generally more for Google to do but refutes the allegation that executives had held up the work.

Advocates of bolder action by Google point to the company’s much tighter restrictions on searching for child sexual abuse material (CSAM) as evidence it could do much more. Typing “deepfake nudes kids” into Google prompts a warning that such content is illegal and ultimately directs users to news articles and support groups. Google also finds and blocks from its results almost 1 million new CSAM-containing webpages annually.

A recent Google search for “deepfake nudes jennifer aniston” yielded seven results purporting to offer just that. The search engine offered no warning or resources in response to the query, despite nearly every US state and many countries having criminalized unpermitted distribution of intimate content of adults. Google declined to comment on the lack of a warning.

The product manager says comparisons to CSAM are invalid. Virtually any image of a naked child is illegal and can be automatically removed, she says. Separating NCEI from consensual porn requires some indication that the content was shot or distributed without permission, and that context often isn’t clear until a victim files a report and a human analyzes it. But the manager wouldn’t directly answer whether Google has tried to overcome the challenge.

Adam Dodge, founder of advocacy and education group Ending Tech-Enabled Abuse, says that until Google proactively removes more NCII, victims have to be hypervigilant about finding and reporting it themselves. That’s “not something we should put on victims,” he says. “We’re asking them to go to the location where they were assaulted online to move past the trauma.”

Google started accepting removal requests for search results leading to nudity or sex in 2015 if the content was intended to be private and was never authorized to be published, according to its policy. That went largely unchanged until 2020, when the company added that being in an “intimate state” qualified.

A New York Times column that year triggered Google executives to dedicate resources to the issue, organizing projects, including one codenamed Sparrow, to help victims keep content off search for good, three former employees say. The product manager confirmed that executives at times have pushed teams to improve Google’s handling of NCEI.

Google made its takedown form friendlier to use, understand, and access, the sources say. The search giant axed legalese and outdated use of the term “revenge porn,” since porn is generally viewed as consensual. The company added instructions on submitting screenshots and greater detail on the review process.

The form became accessible by clicking the menu that appears next to every search result. Requests rose about 19-fold in one early test, one source says. A second source says that it has become among Google’s most-used forms for reporting abuse and that, after the edits, a far greater percentage of requests resulted in removal of results. Google disputes these figures, but it declined to share comprehensive data on NCEI.

Government-mandated transparency reports show Google has removed most of the nearly 170,000 search and YouTube links reported for unwanted sexual content in South Korea since December 2020, the earliest data available, and nixed nearly 300 pieces of content in response to 380 complaints from users in India since May 2021. The limited data suggest Google is finding more reports credible than its smaller rival in search Microsoft, which took action in 52 percent of the nearly 8,400 cases it received globally for Bing and other services from 2015 through June 2023.

Launched in late 2021, the StopNCII system has amassed a database of over 572,000 hashed photos and videos and blocked that media from being shared more than 12,000 times across 10 services, including Instagram and TikTok. Google hasn’t adopted the tool to block content from search due to concerns about what’s actually in the database, according to three sources.

To protect victims’ privacy, StopNCII doesn’t review content they report, and hashes reveal nothing about the underlying content. Google is worried that it could end up blocking something innocent, the sources say. “We don’t know if it’s just an image of a cupcake,” one of them says. The sources add that Google also has opted against bankrolling a system it considers better, despite internal suggestions to do so.

The Google spokesperson declined to comment on StopNCII, but in April the company told UK lawmakers who questioned Google about its decision not to use the tool that it had “specific policy and practical concerns about the interoperability of the database,” without elaborating.

Internally, Google workers have come up with some bold ideas to improve takedowns. Employees have discussed booting explicit websites, including porn companies, from search results unless they are willing to assure that their content is consensual, according to four sources. The idea hasn’t been adopted. Google’s search unit has shied away from setting rules on a thorny and taboo subject like sexual imagery, three sources say. “They don’t want to be seen as regulators of the internet,” one former staffer says.

Because Google sends significant traffic to explicit websites, it could force them to take stricter measures. About 15 percent of image searches and up to half of video searches among the billions Google receives daily are related to porn, says one former staffer, figures the company declined to comment on. “Google holds the keys to the kingdom,” the source says. Meanwhile, few others are stepping in. US lawmakers haven’t passed proposed legislation to impose consent checks on online uploads. And some popular services for sharing explicit content, such as Reddit and X, don’t require users to submit proof of subjects’ consent.

Porn producers, who collect identity information from performers as required by US law, support the sharing of a consent signal with search engines, says Mike Stabile, spokesperson for the industry trade body Free Speech Coalition. “Major adult sites already monitor and block NCII much more aggressively than mainstream platforms,” he says.

The Google spokesperson declined to comment on the consent idea but points to an existing penalty: Google last December began demoting—but not blocking—search results for websites that come up in “a high volume” of successful takedown requests.

The Google product manager and the spokesperson contend that the search team already has taken big steps over the past three years to ease the burden on survivors of image-based sexual abuse. But WIRED’s investigation shows that some improvements have come with caveats.

A system Google introduced that tries to automatically remove search links when previously reported content resurfaces on new websites doesn’t work on videos or altered images, and two sources say Google hadn’t dedicated staff to improving it. “It absolutely could be better, and there isn’t enough attention on how it could really solve victims’ problems,” one says. The spokesperson says staff are assigned to enhance the tool.

Another system called known victim protection tries to filter out results with explicit images from search queries similar to those from past takedown requests, the two sources say. It is designed to not disrupt results to legitimate porn and generally reduces the need for victims to stay vigilant for new uploads. But Google has acknowledged to South Korean regulators that the system isn’t perfect. “Given the dynamic and ever-changing nature of the web, automated systems are not able, 100 percent of the time, to catch every explicit result,” the company writes in its transparency reports.

In one of its biggest shifts, Google last August abandoned its policy of declining to remove links to content that included signs that it had been captured with consent. For years, if Google determined from the imagery and any audio that the subject knew they were being recorded without any signs of coercion or distress, it would reject the takedown ask unless the requester provided ample evidence that it had been published without consent. It was a “super-mushy concept,” one of the former employees says.

That same source says staff persuaded executives to update the policy in part by describing the importance of letting people who had become adult performers on OnlyFans out of financial necessity to later revoke their consent and shred any ties to sex work. The Google spokesperson didn’t dispute this.

The Washington, DC-based National Center on Sexual Exploitation, an anti-porn group that’s become an authority on image-based sexual abuse, argues that even after the revision, Google is falling short. It wants Google to automatically honor all takedown requests and put the burden on websites to prove there was consent to record and publish the disputed content. The Google spokesperson says that potential policy updates are constantly considered.

In the eyes of advocates, Google is being nowhere near as resourceful or attentive as it could or should be. Brad Gilde of Gilde Law Firm in Houston says he came away disappointed when his client won a headline-grabbing $1.2 billion judgment against an ex-boyfriend last August but then couldn’t get Google to remove a highly ranked search link to a sexually explicit audio recording of her on YouTube. The upload, which included the victim’s name and drew over 100 views, came down last month only after WIRED inquired.

Developing a reliable AI system to proactively identify nonconsensual media may prove impossible. But better keeping an ear out for big cases shouldn’t be too complicated, says Dan Purcell, a victim who founded removal company Ceartas DMCA. Google employees had a proposal on this issue: The company could establish a priority flagger program—as it has for other types of problematic content, including CSAM—and formally solicit tips from outside organizations such as Purcell’s that monitor for NCII. But staffing to administer the idea never came through. “​​Google is the No. 1 discoverability platform,” Purcell says. “They have to take more responsibility.” The Google spokesperson declined to comment.

DeBarber, the removal consultant who spoke with Google alongside his clients victimized by GirlsDoPorn, did a search for one of them this month while on the phone with WIRED. No links surfaced to videos of her, because DeBarber has spent over 100 hours getting those pages removed. But one porn service was misusing her name to lure in viewers to other content—a new result DeBarber would have to ask Google to remove. And through a different Google search, he could access a problematic website on which people can look up videos of his client.

Harassers regularly text that client links to her NCII, a frustrating reminder of how her past has yet to be erased. “They want to be out of sight and out of mind,” DeBarber says of his clients. “We’re heading in the right direction.” But he and survivors are counting on Google to help knock out the offenders for good. "A lot more could have been done by Google and still could be."

[tamelee]

Hi I'm the person who asked for education advice.

I would like advice on almost everything you mentioned, the learning aspect itself and breaking down goals mostly. Also just the fear of failure haunts me a lot. Also, you're in your 20s right? Do you live alone, on campus, with parents? Is that hard to adjust to, if you know about that? I really appreciate you answering asks and giving advice on things not related to Naruto specifically haha. Love your art! Can't wait for the chaptered manga you're making 💜

Hi! This took me a while as I was stressing over some things, sorry about that, and yes! Well, I live alone currently and am renting an apartment. It is not hard to adjust to for me personally because I used to live in a house that was empty since I was… well let's just say I’m used to it, but when I traveled and studied/worked abroad I did live with other people which I thought was more difficult to adjust to. All of a sudden there’s so much noise and drama aaahhh >< hehe. 

I hope my tips are helpful for you— long post, read when you have time and grab your notes! 」(￣▽￣」)

.📙⤵

Small note: this system may seem like a lot of work or tedious for majority of people, but setting it up like this is the only thing that works for me and aids my struggle to focus. This post focuses on studying, but I apply this to a lot of other areas as well. I’m still readjusting parts where I feel like it can improve— of course, you can change anything in any way you like! I tried to make it as clear as possible ^^! 

My documentation style: I personally use Notion (almost a year now) to track everything while documenting and organizing my notes. I love how you can create the most aesthetic pages and build your space anyway you like. It helps me structure my life so much better than the note-taking systems I used to have. I'm not kidding when I say it really changed everything for me. For studying, but also other area's, which is why I affiliated with them. There are paid subscriptions, but everything you need you can use for free!

I also have template recommendations if someone does happen to use Notion! (Let me know if you're looking for anything specific!) However, of course you can use whatever program you want to document things/your study. Whatever you use, even if you just write it down on paper, I do recommend keeping it all in the same place by creating a singular overview so you can track your progress more easily, but we’ll get to that later!

My roadmap to achieve (academic) goals:

Goal Setting 

I think the most important thing is to set effective goals that are clear. Proper planning is essential to reaching goals and achieving good grades imo, as well as breaking down your tasks into manageable chunks to avoid feeling overwhelmed. It’s learning how you work, what fits your productivity-style and finding ways to make it easier for yourself.

So take a moment to think what exactly you want to achieve!

You can use the SMART-method (setting Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound goals), to give yourself clear targets to work towards and there are many articles on it if you want to know more about it (you can also look for helpful templates, there are many free ones you can find!), but I combined this with "The 12 Week Year”-method by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington. 

(Although I would recommend this book, there’s quite a bit of fluff which will probably make it difficult to get through for people that are neurodivergent. If you’re interested you can also find summaries on Youtube in order to only gain the information you need if you want to use it to achieve goals, but I’ll break it down here as well. Summaries are incredibly helpful, but I’ll be honest and say I’m not sure how to feel about them yet.) 

The 12 week year describes lag and leading indicators in the context of goal achievement. I use these indicators specifically in order to make sure I can Measure my goals. 

I’ll explain with examples:

Regarding your previous ask, let’s take a goal like “getting high grades”. This doesn’t say much yet. 

There are probably several subjects you want a high grade for, so let’s break that down first. There are many smaller goals that exist in that. It’ll look something like this:

Overarching goal: Getting high grades

Individual goals:

Getting a high grade for subject A

Getting a high grade for subject B

Getting a high grade for subject C

Etc,—

Great start in getting clear what you need to achieve, but it’s still too vague, right? Let’s see these subjects as separate goals and break it down further with indicators:

Indicators: 

Lag indicators are the ultimate measures of success or results necessary to achieve your goals. They represent the outcomes. 

Leading indicators are the actions or behaviors that directly influence the achievement of lag indicators. They are individual tasks and the steps that you take to achieve the lag indicator.  

Note: Indicators must start with a verb (like: write, get, draw, finish, etc—) because it indicates directly what the action is you have to take.  Example: “Assignment” doesn’t tell you what to do. Transform it into “Finish assignment on [x] before 16th of May” or something like that. It depends on the goal. 

Now we get something like this:

(Overarching goal: Getting high grades) Individual goal: Getting a high grade for subject A

Lag indicators examples (what’s necessary to achieve the goal): 

Write Essay on [x] 

Finish assignment A

Setup project A

Start project A

Etc,— 

It’ll look different per subject and it may look different for you. Maybe you know exactly what you need to achieve per period or maybe they only let you know what needs to be done one assignment at a time, in which case you can focus on that alone and take it step by step.

It’s already nice to just write everything down and gain a clearer view of the things you need to complete. You’re not pressured to remember anything, because it's all here (I get stressed forgetting stuff). 

Now you have your overarching goal of wanting to get high grades and made a list of individual goals. We’ll consider these individual goals and focus on them because achieving those means your overarching goal will be achieved automatically. 

If you gathered the lag indicators for these individual goals, you’ll now know what (currently) is necessary to get a high grade for subject A and we can start breaking those down into leading indicators.  

It’ll look like this: 

(Overarching goal: Getting high grades) (Individual goal: Getting a high grade for subject A) Lag indicator: Write Essay on [x] 

Leading indicator examples (steps you take to achieve the lag indicator):

Understand exactly what the topic or thesis statement is 

Research topic

Organize, etc—

Write everything you are going to do in order to ‘write the essay on [x]’ as leading indicators. 

Reminder: as the SMART-method suggests: make everything as specific as possible so you can measure exactly what it is you need to do.  Example: “Research topic” can still be too vague but you can clarify what you need to research for what topic, once you understand what it is exactly you need to do. 

Putting in a little bit of effort and time now by breaking down goals like this helps me save a lot of time later, because I have to make less decisions and I’ll exactly know what to do and how much. Tracking your progress makes it a lot easier if you know what you’re tracking and as I said before: decision fatigue is a real thing and emotionally taxing! Making all the decisions before you start working really can help! 

Tip: before starting on the leading indicators, check whether your goals and its lag indicators are SMART. Make sure all of them start with a verb!  Tip 2: if you have trouble deciding where to start, you can refer to the ‘Swiss Cheese’ method which is a productivity “hack” that can help you identify which of your tasks takes the priority. This doesn’t help me personally, because if I planned out what I need to do that day it doesn’t really matter for me which has the priority because I have to rely on many other things, therefore I can’t plan what I do first. I feel like mentioning it anyway, because it can be helpful when making mindmaps. 

So in short:

Determine your overarching goal. 

Write down individual goals necessary in order to achieve the overarching goal.

Write down the lag indicators you need to complete in order to achieve your individual goal.

Break down the lag indicators into manageable tasks (leading indicators) and be specific on the action you need to take. (Example: don’t just put ‘writing the essay’, but ‘write [x]-essay for 20 minutes’.)

Now we can start planning!

Planning

Let’s say you have a week to finish this essay, once you have every leading indicator, you can start planning out what you will do on which day.

Efficient planning helps reduce stress, because you don’t have to wonder if what you’ll do today is enough. We’ll get to ‘tracking’ goals later, but stay open to readjust when necessary though! It is okay to re-plan because there’s always the possibility of something coming in between or you not feeling well! 

As I said before, I use Notion to document everything and I have a separate page for the overarching goals which include my lag indicators, but in my overview I created a table that shows all the tasks (leading indicators) that I need to finish per (current) week. It sort of looks like this: 

I automated it, so when I check off something the amount of times I need to do it (under frequency) that week, it disappears from my overview and I can quickly see my weekly (and overall) progress in percentages, but of course you can do this any way you like or just write it down somewhere. I think this way is great because I need less focus to see whether something's already done or not.

I know that sounds funny for people who don't have trouble with this, but genuinely anything I can do to make it easier for myself is helpful ><

We still need to keep deadlines in mind. I personally like to know what I need to do on which day within the week as well or I’ll end up having to do everything during the weekend. So, I divide these weekly tasks and assign a day to them on a simple weekly notepad I keep on my desk. It looks something like this: 

These days aren’t set, as I mentioned: it’s also important to allow life to happen and still stay on track somewhat :’)

When I finish something I color it!

So in short:

Once you gained insight on your leading indicators, you can start planning. This will look different for every subject, but the method stays the same. 

Create a weekly planning/overview somewhere depending on your deadline. And if necessary, divide the weekly tasks for specific days if you want on a separate planner.

Review your week on Sundays (or whichever day you like!) to see whether you’re still on track and readjust your planning for the upcoming week(s) when necessary.  

Combine Studying with your personal life

The reason why I use a written, separate, weekly overview is because I combine areas of my life on here.

Aside from dividing tasks for my study (the leading indicators) for specific dates, I add appointments that I may have (which I keep in my calendar app), projects, administration/financial-tasks or random things I need to do at home or for myself/others.

I know a lot of people that create to-do lists have trouble with it. If that’s you (me too), then we’ll take it a step further and plan our tomorrow every day.

I use simple note-paper and sort of write things down in order for that day, because it’s easy and quick to grab and scribble on. This really helps to focus on what matters right now. It looks like this:

This is sort of like compounding habits, but with tasks. Some things are much easier to do after one thing than another. A regular to-do list may not work because it doesn’t take into account the rest of your day like appointments or a personal routine you want to work on. It’s hard to gain clarity when all you see is a bunch of intertwined, random tasks— so here you’d organize them bit and add whatever is relevant. Like a little mini-planning for the day. 

On here I also write small silly stuff I have to do that day or keep notes I have to put somewhere else so I won’t forget. (Like appointments I suddenly get, or e-mails I have to reply to, something I want to check later, etc—) 

Tip: Let’s say after a while you still have trouble with this daily mini-planner, you can also just write down (3 or so) your most important tasks for the day and “eat the frog”. You focus on that first while ‘hiding’ all the ones that may not be as relevant immediately. (I’d still keep the other mini-planner though or transform your other tasks into “bonus-tasks”.) 

So in short:

Keep appointments in mind or days when you’ll be busy/outside when planning study tasks on specific days. Add the most important or time-consuming tasks first so you gain a clearer view how much time you have for the weekly study tasks.

Use this weekly planner to divide tasks throughout the week and then make a mini-planner for your specific day on a separate paper/document to organize the day.  

Keeping track

As I said during the planning-step, you can use Sundays (or other days) to quickly review your week and adjust the next if necessary.

A lot within my system is automated, but even if you’ve written it all down, it shouldn’t take too much time (maybe 10 mins, probably less), because you’ve done most of the planning already. You can easily see what and where it needs adjusting.

Be prepared to adjust a lot in the beginning though if you’ve never done this! Eventually it gets easier and you gain better insight how long you work on something or what is realistic for you to do in a day, which is totally fine!!

Tip: If you are more interested in self-development, you can also apply a review-session monthly, quarterly or per project to gain insight on yourself and where you’d like to improve. I personally do this quarterly, but let’s keep focussing on the study~! Tip 2: If you aren’t sure how to create an overview, there are also many, free SMART-method templates you can use. If you’re usually more a visual person, I’d recommend creating visual boards or just add images to make it more appealing. It may seem like it doesn’t do anything, but especially in this current world of distraction, images do help you connect information much easier and can influence how you feel even subconsciously. I do highly recommend doing so. (I personally use a theme per quarter/season >< it’s so extra lmao it’s a good thing I live alone let’s be honest because I'm embarrassing.) 

Studying & taking notes

Well this is a broad subject but I’d recommend sort of observing yourself for a while to really understand more specifically what it is you struggle with. (If you are.) 

Here are some examples for ways you can use notes. I used the ‘Second Brain’ method for a while as well, but I’m most comfortable with the Cornell method. I set it up like this: 

But the most important part here, is this: 

I can clearly see the subjects and the necessary information. (I usually hide them under some toggle text to keep things organized and not muddy up my overview.)

Study cards don’t really work for me, because I need to connect information together, but it’s worth looking into! It might be helpful for you. 

Tip: If you have trouble focussing because you get bored easily which makes you tired so you seek a quick dopamine rush even if that means you start cleaning your entire environment and you procrastinate, etc—… trust me you’re not alone. I do recommend researching whether a ‘dopamine detox’ will be helpful for you (which is not easy, I’ll tell you that). However, this may not work for everyone because sometimes there’s even more at play. That’s why a combination of strategies to make the actual act of studying as easy and clear as possible, is so important.  Tip 2: Always allow yourself to experiment with your routines and keep your health in mind, but if you continue to struggle, please do seek support. Tip 3: If you’re like me and you had to watch/listen to a lot of material, find transcripts or use subtitles! If you have to write an essay on a movie, it’s much easier to get back to information when it’s written down. (And it saves you so much time...) For many movies you can find subtitle files and you can convert them online to remove timestamps if necessary.  Tip 4: Ah, and for my fellow neurodivergent people… if noise annoys you and music doesn’t really help anymore, not even when it’s just instrumentals… see if ambient video’s that have slight random background noises (like a library for example) are helpful for you. For me personally, it’s such a game-changer holy sh- 

Fear of Failure 

Not sure if I can give you some advice on this, because I struggle with this as well. It gets a bit better though when I use this system because it lays down the groundwork for you and with that clarity it gets easier to focus on the task itself. Unless you plan it all out and then end up not doing what you set out to do, and you don’t readjust your planning weekly— it’s sort of hard to fail the action-taking-part. 

If it gets really bad and you end up avoiding your tasks entirely, because you get reluctant to take the risk of failing at something, sit down with yourself for a moment and think whether you may’ve set extremely high standards for yourself. See if you can allow a bit more room in your schedule. Refer back to the Goal Setting methods.

Tip: If you’re interested in making it a habit to study, I’d recommend you read ‘atomic habits’ by James Clear, or find a video that breaks the method down for you if that’s easier.

Know that whatever it is you want to improve in, there are ways to do it. If you feel like you get stuck on an area of your life, most of the time focussing on it with frustration will make it worse. Keep your ears and mind open for solutions while taking a break. 

I don’t think I’ve ever been anywhere, any school or anything where they teach you how to actually study in the first place. They should tbh. I think it’s ridiculous they don’t, especially because we get more and more distracted and everything is literally designed to grab your attention and hold it for as long as possible until the next thing comes by. And I’m not sure if that’s helpful to know, but I do believe that realizing that studying in general isn’t easy and schools making it seem like it is by treating it like it’s nothing “you just have to do it” while not teaching you how to do it effectively... is bullshit.

Lastly, it’s all trial and error so please don’t beat yourself up over any of this. If you’re a perfectionist, please don’t feel like you need to set up a system perfectly before starting, because it’s an ongoing thing and not set in stone. It’ll only make you end up procrastinating for the sake of perfecting a system, which may make you feel like you're being productive but you don't actually get anything done and it's not what we want. That’s why it’s so important to be okay with readjusting when necessary! 

Hope there is something in all of this that can help you! Good luck 🌷^^~!

_______

Oh and thank you!! I also can’t wait to release the Manga. I practiced fic writing first and created a Cyberpunk-story, but I’m still a bit hesitant to share it >< (Perfectionism does make me slow as well, but I’m working on improving it 😌)

[sister-lucifer]

yo i want to see headcannons of any of the marble hornets or even ticci toby with a cottagecore fem s/o, how would they react with the way she styled herself? i mean.. they are a vicious ruthless monster and then here she is their s/o who is just love nature, 70s fashion, sweet and friendly like yk

Proxies with a cottagecore S/O 

Toby, Tim/Masky + Brian/Hoodie x Gender Neutral Reader (Separately) 

Genre: Fluff, Headcanons 

Content/Warnings: Toby’s section gets a bit suggestive because that’s how he is (small touches, staring, ogling, but it’s all light), a minuscule mention of blood, mostly fluff 

Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio (request rules + masterlist in pinned post)!

Also, please reblog! it’s free, takes two seconds, and really helps me out 

Feedback is encouraged and appreciated:)

Not fully proofread! Let me know if you see any errors!

Toby

Oooohhhh this boy 

Keep in mind, he’s about 19, 20 

Those horny teenager hormones are still coursing through him, and they aren’t leaving any time soon 

Seeing you in such cute little clothes gets him a liiiiittle worked up, he just can’t help it! 

If you’re wearing pants, he’s eyeing you up when you walk away, 100% 

If you’re wearing a skirt, don’t be surprised if his hands wander up your thighs 

He’ll stop if you tell him to of course, he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable! But if he knows he’s got the green light, you know what to expect 

He also loooooves that you love nature! He loves it too! 

Be prepared to pick all the leaves and sticks out of his hair when he comes back home after a long day/night 

And also wash the blood of off him (don’t be surprised if he asks you to join him in the shower) 

AND be prepared for him to bring back random bugs, frogs, and other small animals and try to convince you to let him keep them

(do not let him) 

He’ll definitely be bringing back random plants and berries to see if you can cook with them 

He’s really good at foraging, although he’d be significantly better if he could remember what’s edible and what’s not 

He’s got some brain damage and ADHD but he tries his best yk 

Just pat his head and tell him he’s done good 

He also may or may not sneak into your closet to try on your clothes every once in a while 

Masculine, feminine, androgynous, he doesn’t care! He likes your clothes! 

Overall he’s rather sweet, if a bit oblivious; you may have to teach him a few things, but he’ll learn for you! 

Tim/Masky

Tim grew up in an old farmhouse, he knows a lot about this sort of thing! 

In fact, your cottagecore aesthetic is borderline nostalgic for him, it really warms his heart in a way he’s waaaay too embarrassed to ever admit, even if he personally doesn’t partake in the lifestyle 

He’ll totally adjust fine to the cottagecore life 

He’s had his fair share of experience with cooking with whatever he can forage from the woods (and he actually knows what can and can’t be eaten), so he’s very helpful in the kitchen! 

He’s also a very skilled hunter, so he’s more than willing to bring back a fresh kill for you to cook 

He’ll skin it and do all the dirty work for you, that way your job is easy 

In return all you have to do cook him dinner while he’s in the shower washing off the smell, and he’ll be happy

He thinks your style is absolutely adorable, even if he won’t outright say it! 

That’s okay though, because you can see it in the way his eyes widen a bit when you come down the stairs all dressed up in the prettiest little outfit he could ever imagine 

He’ll pause and look down, exhaling the smoke from his cigarette before looking up and giving a brief compliment: 

“Lookin’ good, sweetheart.” 

He’s kinda emotionally constipated, but you’ll learn to read him 

If you craft, please give him homemade gifts! 

Baskets, wreaths, flower arrangements, whatever little cottagecore trinket you can conjure 

You’ll have his heart forever 

One of Tim’s favorite pastimes is whittling, so don’t he surprised if he leaves a little deer statue on your beside table as a thank you 

Tim isn’t high maintenance or hard to satisfy at all, he’s more than happy to share a quaint little cottage with you 

All he needs is a kiss on the cheek when he leaves for ‘work’ to keep him warm until he can hug you again 

Brian/Hoodie 

Brian is probably the most well versed on internet aesthetics, and dare I say may even be a bit cottagecore himself! 

It’s a lot more subtle of course, but you can see it in the way he hoards potted plants and persistently makes sure the hummingbird feeder and bird bath are full 

He’s also the most invested in nature, if that makes sense; he knows a lot about the native flora and fauna of his area and will always point them out to you if you’re around 

It’s not unusual for you to catch him staring out the window at the birds 

He doesn’t really like to cook and he doesn’t forage since it’s not something that’s ever interested him, but he has a way with sewing! 

He collects patches for his bags and clothes, and he likes to alter and add to his own garments 

He’s phenomenal with patchwork and fixing up tears 

Never again will you have to be upset about a rip in your favorite dress or a split seam in your best pair of pants! 

Brian will have it fixed up like new in no time 

You won’t even be able to tell it was ever torn! 

Although he doesn’t forage, Brian always brings a bag with him to pick up any plants he hasn’t seen before or wants more of

If he particularly likes one he’ll uproot it and put it in a pot to keep in your cottage 

Soon half of your house will belong to the plants, but it’s okay because he makes sure they’re arranged cutely 

He cares just as much about the aesthetic as you do, don’t worry 

He definitely likes to match outfits too! 

If he’s ever in town and sees a piece of clothing he likes, he’s buying another (or at least the closest thing) for you too 

Be ready for many fashion shows, all while he compliments every single outfit (and you’d better do the same for him!)

When he’s home there will certainly be many calm, domestic nights filled with mundane couples activities and exhausting laughter 

He’s a romantic at heart, and nothing will ever change that