#bruh green and red? what the fuck was i on back then the fuck
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TMNT dashboard simulator
(33 notes)
🍞deliveryguy-5879 Follow
I just had to deliver a pizza to a fucking? Sewer??? And some weirdass green guy picked it up???? NYC is so fucking weird wtf
#he tipped tho so it was fine ig #adventures in delivery
(654 notes)
🌌 stellar-space-warrior Follow
Heads up if you're moving to/recently moved to New York:
If you see someone in what looks like a fursuit commiting crimes, slowly back away. Do not approach them. It's not a fursuit. Some weird green guys will show up and handle it. Ignore it and try to forget.
🖼 heck-yeah-jupiter-jim Follow
I know this sounds like a shitpost but trust me it is not. New York literally is just like that.
(1.587 notes)
🤖lou-jitsu-fanboy-deactivated
There is this super large glowing insect in my room. Should I be worried??
🐉literally-justsomeguy Follow
Hey, OP? OP???
🎹definitely-not-a-mutant Follow
I'm sure he's fine
☢doodle-master Follow
That insect fucking killed him
(5.989) notes
🎁blue-dabadeedabadie Follow
Are you from New York, and have you seen the weird turtle guys?
🌳connecticut-clark-irl Follow
What the fuck is going on in New York????
🦁lesbian-red-fox Follow
There's turtle guys there, I sometimes see them on random rooftops
Don't worry about it, I think they're cool
(2,567 notes)
🎶bootyshaker9000 Follow
HOLY SHIT I FOUND URANIUM!!!
🎵shelllllllldon Follow
On tumblr in 2023? You're literally so lame dad
🔔bruh-man Follow
"Dad"? Isn't OP like 15???
🤠jj-fan-no-1 Follow
should I be worried donnie?
🎶bootyshaker9000 Follow
It's literally fine
(456 notes)
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한강
Contains swearing.
"Don't you find it poetic that a river always flows to the sea? Like, the inevitability of it. No matter how fast or slow the water goes, no matter how windy the path, as long as you follow the river you'll end up in the ocean."
"Bruh, I just wanted to go on a quick date. No need to get all philosophical about it."
"You're no fun," you say, looking over and pouting at your girlfriend in the passenger seat.
"Hey, I'm the one who had the idea to come here."
"Fine. Sorry, I'm just being all romantic and stuff. Can't help it when I'm around you."
You kiss her cheek at the light. It turns a similar shade of red.
She smiles softly and looks out the window. "So cheesy."
"Sorry~! Like I said, I can't help it."
She looks back at you and takes hold of your hand.
"Never said I didn't like it, though."
"Like, when I'm overly romantic and shit?"
"Mmhmm. It's cute. I love everything about you."
A small pause. You feel your heart swelling.
"Let me be the romantic one today," she says, gripping your hand tighter. Then, somehow finding a way to make her voice even sweeter, she asks, "Will you go on a date with me, baby? Let's walk by the river."
Thankfully the light turning green gives you an excuse to look away. You wouldn't have been able to take your eyes off her otherwise. And so the car races down the street. Just like your heart.
-
"You wanna buy some ice cream, honey?"
"What's ice cream honey?"
"바보야. I'm calling you honey."
"Oh," you say quietly as you bite your lip and look away. She really was being extra today.
"You like when I call you that?" Her tone becomes mischievous when she catches on.
"What makes you think that?"
"Oh, I don't know. Probably the way you can't stop smiling right now." She pokes your side with her elbow.
"For fuck's sake, Min. Stop~!"
"Hihi. I love you, honey."
"I love you, too, babe," you say, still grinning like an idiot.
"So, do you want ice cream or not? I'll buy some for you."
"That sounds perfect."
"You're perfect." She winks at you and you fall apart completely.
"Minji! I can't." Weak in the knees you collapse into her arms. Her embrace is so warm. Just as it always has been. "I love you so much."
"나도," she says softly into your ear. "Come on. I'll get you your favorite."
Overflowing with the warmth of her love, you down the ice cream to keep cool. And with your legs still weak, she takes the lead and pulls you by the hand along the river.
"I've been reading up on love languages recently," she continues.
"Oh, yeah? What did you learn?"
"You seem like a words of affirmation kind of girl."
"What could have possibly given that away?"
You both chuckle.
"But you also like quality time don't you? That's why I wanted to take you out on a date today."
"Honestly, Min, you make me fluent in all languages. As long as it's you."
"So, you like when I buy you ice cream? Or when I play with your hair like this?"
The chaotic squealing that escaped your mouth made the answer very clear.
"민지야! Why are you being so sweet?"
"I don't know. I'm just in love with you, I think."
-
"You know, I actually do like what you said about rivers earlier. It reminded me of something else."
"And what was that?"
"Us. I just like the idea of being a river with you. The inevitability of us being together. All the way to the sea. Whatever that may be."
"I like that, too."
As the sun began to paint the sky over Seoul a beautiful rose gold, in a more serious tone she asks, "So, do you like the way I love you, baby?"
"갑자기?"
She just nods back, a sweet smile on her lips.
"Of course, Min. I love the way you love me. In all the love languages. And I'm so lucky that you do."
"But what's one thing that I do that you really like?"
"Mmm, I love when you take my hand and just hold it. I don't know, it just makes me feel so warm inside. Just thinking that my girlfriend, Kim Minji, wants to hold my hand."
"Aww, sweetie."
She gestures for you to sit down with her on the grass by the river. And there you both stay, quietly enjoying the sound of the birds and the water, the light of the evening sun, and the warmth of each other.
"I love your hands." She takes your right hand and caresses your fingers slowly with hers. "This one would look really pretty with a ring on it."
"뭐야! What the fuck, babe!" you exclaim, caught off guard, your cheeks turning all sorts of colors, from the reds of fallen leaves to the pinks of the cherry blossoms in the wind.
"What? I'm just saying! It could be any ring. You're the one reading into things," she says cheekily.
"Am I?"
She doesn't respond. Instead she just closes her eyes and smiles into the sunset, your hand still in hers.
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journey to the west book one, thoughts
so this post is going to be really messy and jumbled, i will take my thoughts one chapter at a time. since this post contains all the chapters in book one imma but everything under the cut and warn ya'll that this is HELLA long.
ok so, before we get into it i just wanna let you guy's know that if the first 13 chapters seem like they have less it's because i only really started to do this on chapter 14 and had to go back through chapters 1 - 13 and look at the notes and tabes i left to gage my reaction to them. some of them have a bit more than others and some have like none at all.
that being said enjoy the absolute crack house that is my no cotext thoughts of Journey to the West volume one!
Chapter 1
monkey is born!!
and he's already being impulsive...
calling him the handsome monkey king is gonna go straight to his head
lier! you are a certified shit disturber and you know it!
ohhhhh so thats how he got the name Sun Wukong, gotcha gotcha
Chapter 2
the dao art seems real complex
love how they casually have the way to immortality written in this book lol
teaching a suicidaly impulsive monkey how to shape shift and fly wasn't a bad idea at all!
he's showing off- of course he is-
aaaaaand he got kicked out for showing off! idiot-
oh damn- thats actually sadder than i thought it would be...
HE CALLS THEM LITTLE ONES!!! CUUUTE!!!!
HOW DARE!?!?!
Chapter 3
holy hell....
op much???
not a monkey scaring a dragon ffs
he is just a menace this entire page! LAMO
GOD DAMN-
THEY WANT HIM OUT SO FUCKING BAD XDDDD
bruh-
ooooooop foreshadowing alert
THATS BULLSHIT!! THEIR EXAGERATING THE HELL OUT OF IT!!!
oh- oh he really fucked up the life and death cycles- damn...
smart!!!!
he was thinking of paying a visit to heaven himself?? without an invite?? oh- that would not have ended well-
Chapter 4
here we go! first rampage through heaven!!
deva
NEZHA!!!!
ITS GIVING "who's this sassy lost kid?" VIBES XD
Chapter 5
does he not have a reputation yet???
Wukong is in so much fucking trouble oh god....
idiot
going to war over wine is a very Wukong thing to do-
Chapter 6
when did Nezha get here?
shapeshifter duels man... they be confusing af
oop he got caught-
Chapter 7
they seem to have forgotten what the meaning of immortal is
oop- he's being refered to as a monster instead of a king by the narrator- thats how you know he's pissed beyond all belief...
OH HES MAD MAD
HOLY FUCK
"i have to go exorcise a demon to defend the throne." pg 193
"he ligit just wrote "sun wukong was here" oh the fucking finger lmao
man... calling the banquet that is just salt in the wound.... really it is...
Chapter 8
sandy's got green skin, red hair, noted
it's pigsy -n-
he flirted with Chang'e..... this bitch
i already can't fucking stand him
Chapter 9
so he does have parents! lets see if they ever pop up again-
WHAT!?!?! WHY!?!!
Chapter 10
i didn't take in a sing thing that this chapter sad.... why is it even here-
Chapter 11
no thoughts head empty, why are we still on this? is there any plot relevance or???
Chapter 12
awwww their cute
good for him, coming from such humble beginnings
wow- ok thats kinda a really great honour to be called brother by the emperor
Chapter 13
lots of scenery! neat!
wft....
oop divine intervention o'clock
abuse???? hello??? what the actual fuck sir???
COWARD!!!
i am going to get so sick of him so quickly....
WUKONG!?!?!?!!!!! YER BACK!!!!!! YEEEEEAHHHHHHHHH
Chapter 14
wukong- bud... YOUR FUCKING FILTHY
yell that your not lying makes you less believable
HE'S NAKED?!?! OFC HE IS
brutal.... nice
ight show off, keep rambling about the shit you can do.
gay? /j but fr- i get that a naked monkey coming to your door may be a cause for concern but there was no reason to disrespect him like that-
he has a son??? when???
gross man- like i get you were trapped under a mountain- but gross
brutal... nice
EXCUSE YOU WHAT?!?! NAH, NAH HE DID NOT
A FEW WORDS?!?! FAM YOU READ HIM FOR A WHOLE PARAGRAPH SHUT YOUR MOUTH
thats not teaching tripitaka- a lecture is NOT teaching
GUAINYIN IS HERE!!! oh... Guanyin is here...
oh... fuck...
why is his name just 'Pilgrim' like i get it but i also don't... idk
oh he's gonna do it out of spite now for being called a bogus immortal by the dragon king
that entire painting is just of two gay lovers putting on shoes and getting immortality for it
well, he actually is really convincing, i can see why Wukong went back after those words...
yeah i'd be taken aback too bud
.......YOU COULD FINISH THE JOURNEY RN.... but he won't, that defeats the entire porpoise of it all
THIS BITCH!!!! I WILL ACTUALLY KILL HIM
HE ONLY STOPPED CAUSE I WAS AFRIAD THE FILLET WOULD BREAK
ON GOD I WILL THROW HANDS WITH A MONK I WILL
HE STARTED UP AGAIN?!??!!? STOP!!!!
OH OH! so you stop when you see how the pain is LITTERALLY TEARING HIS BODY APART! fuck you
HE ACTUALLY TRIED TO KILL HIM!?!?!?!? oh my god- i mean.... jesus.....
yes. its a great idea to go to the south sea and beat up the goddess who did this to you... super smart /s
all thoughts of disobedience and rebellion? no shot
Chapter 15
ah yes, lets start the chapter with Wukong hauling ass to save Tripitaka
Jesus them some powerful eyes
omg SHUT UP
YES YELL AT HIM WUKONG!!!
namby-pamby??
lawless lizard XD
harsh
they talk about him like he's not the son of a dragon king...
OH SHES PISSED AT HIM
so he's called 'third prince Jade dragon' gotcha
he's a fucking idiot
why are you being such a baby all of a sudden??
neat, he got the get out of danger free leaves now
if Rue had been in this part of the journey she would have been pretty interested in that
plot armour be like-
impressive
more divine intervention! oh my god-
so now it's early spring. jesus that means its almost been a year
Chapter 16
i don't know wether to be annoyed or what- were only a page into this chapter
"he may be ugly" BITCH WHAT
yeah... ight... i'd be annoyed with him too
somesones butt hurt that hes oooooold~
everyone is starting to get on my nerves like jesus-
wow the murder plots are real
he askin' for favours like he didn't just beat their asses 500 years ago
he's a little arsonist
LMAO UNO REVERSE BITCH
damn- he's already on shockingly good terms with him
HE SAVED YOU AND YOUR GONING TO PUNISH HIM FOR IT!?!?!
I'M GOING TO THROW HANDS WITH A MONK ISTG
and after all that your response is still murder??? really????
goddman.... he so mad he defiled a corpse- that wasn't very buddhist of you tripitaka
Chapter 17
not tripitaka using wukongs temper against others-
jesus christ man
"thunder god mouth" XDDD best way to describe it 10/10
THE THREATS
XDD the arrogance!! he called the demon "my son" before starting a lecture XDD
he gets annoyed when people call him the BanHorsePlague now, thats so fucking funny to me
he's so real for that though, i'd wanna eat in the middle of a fight too
he is actually a menace to humans goddamn
HE REDUCED THE DEMON TO A BURGER
love how their calling him 'old carcass'
there is a lot of seemingly nice senery in this chapter
how'd they know all of that just by seeing a goddamn meat patty on the side of the road???
this is gonna be a pattern isn't it-
conversations with these two go no where but damn they do be giving me L O R E
he's being so nice now lmao
wft....
ok *fine* she gets a pass but jesus
GRAPHIC
jesus wukong
HA got'em
"don't start trouble again" "i won't" LIES
Chapter 18
oooooh this is the pigsy chapter!!! i can't wait to see some ass be beat!
i- i don't think i like these people...
Wukong really just said don't judge a book by it's cover
why does he always say "your poor monk" it's grinding my gears
"tell me everything!" .... "from ancient times-"
his surmname meant hog....
i can only picture that one manga panel in jjk where Yuta is dragging Yuji along lmao
ancient toilet humour?
"where are you going darling" he says as he returns to his original form
love that wukong is described and then called "virtually a living thunder god"
"i'll follow you to the ends of the earth" (menacingly)
Chapter 19
why do they all have caves?
it is pigsy
damn- Wukong's reading him
are they really throwing celestial law at one another??
he's bragging... really?
ah yes, a summary of the first seven chapters
he really said set your house on fire and follow me
man's really stripped him of all he was worth and then dragged him by the ear... he's like a mom...
HE'S REFERED TO AS IDIOT! oh this just got so much better
lmao both of them going "wine? oh we still drink that"
Wukong admitted to being a light weight XD
pigsy, trying to say a heart felt goodbye, the other two; hurry the fuck up
"you know him and not me? what kind of fuckery is this?"
"he insulted me and the pig?!" "how?" *proceeds to tell tripitaka exactly how he and pigsy were insulted*
Chapter 20
just by the title alone i know imma start to have beef with pigsy
they still call him idiot! YES
it's pigsy getting bullied hours!!!
that- that was a very round about way of calling him a dick Wukong
annnnnd he's boasting again...
huh? flying bricks, talking pots, and dancing tiles... interesting...
this old man has balls
"fix your ugliness" DUUUUUDE
i'm about to highlight each and every time Pigsy is refered to as Idiot! shits too funny!
ahhhhh pigsy's first kill steal!
OH SHIT NVM
dude just ripped off his own skin! what a power move!
jesus-
and we get to the first time tripitaka is truely captured!
"for you culinary pleasure" XDDDD why is that so funny?
this guy's actually quite smart for that
damn...
good wisdom wukong
i love how wukong is so often describes as "the one with the thunder god mouth and hairy face"
he's got a good sense to be this scared of him
monkey-monk?? (why is that so funny to me???)
he just told wukong he was a 'buy one get one free sale'!! AND HE'S THE FREE BIT XDDDDDD
KILL STEAL!!! +1 for butality, pigsy's score is now -99 points!
Wukong actually let him have credit for the kill? goddamn- is that character growth i see?
Chapter 21
no he does not!
Aqua man?????
Really?? *face palms*
why does he insist on calling himself grandpa?
is he about to disapline him like a grandpa too??
Coward
the divine wind of Samādhi? like the Samādhi fire? NEAT!!!
more divine intervention i see
the trend of calling pigsy an idiot continues and i am thriving in this enviornment
can he be any less annoying?
*crybaby beings to play on loop in my head*
idiot
it was the fucking gold star of venus
very humble wukong
lawless ape! XDDD
love that offending the great sage is quite possibly a crime punishable by death now
Chapter 22
its sandy time!!!
wouldn't that be qualifies as an inland sea?!
i don't know how to feel about that entire passage
cloud surfing lessons
he called Wukong his assistant- oh boy if he had heard that...
he can be there in half an hour?! wild...
sandy is aquired
Chapter 23
still love that his nickname is practically idiot
please- stop refering to your staff as a rod- i can't take reading "you'll get a ___ from this Huge Rod!" anymore T-T
you fucking idiots- your banter has now left the master stranded and he's gonna get captured by demons!
serves you right
Wu kong being so shocked he actually acted poliet?
Unreal and nonexisting- well those are some red falgs if i've ever seen em in this book
SHIT JUST GOT SO MUCH FUNNIER OMFG
she just keeps going!? dude- please- how can someone have so much
omg- this is all a test of character isn't it...
tripitaka; wukong you stay! Wukong; the fuck you mean me!? make pigsy stay
the entier latter half of this page pisses me off. fuck you pigsy
OH EW! SEVEAR ICK- GROSS
I FUCKING HATE YOU YOU GREEDY WHORE
I KNEW IT WAS A TEST OF CHARACTER!!!!!! I WAS RIGHT!!!!
Chapter 24
serves him fucking right
i agree with Wukong, leave the pig and go
holy hell they haven't even covered one tenth of the distance yet?
this is the chapter that that one monkey king animated movie was about.
to cowardly to do it himself so he's gotta wait for Wukong lmao
thus begins an entire two-ish pages of Wukong stealing fruit again
Wukong makes me nevious frfr
if it were so embarissing maybe you shouldn't have done it in the first place
Chapter 25
wukong.... buddy.... no.....
good plan boy's
dude can pick (break?) locks.... good to know
why do you fight first and ask questions later....
he escaped thrice, got catpured thrice, kept playing tricks..... dude just wouldn't fucking stop....
#journey to the west#jttw sun wukong#jttw pigsy#jttw tripitaka#jttw sandy#thoughts on#thoughts about#its a jumbled mess#have fun#no context
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wish you'd ask me - matt maltese
Valentine's Day was inescapable, it seemed. It was just another cash-grabbing holiday, but It's all everyone at school's been talking about for the past few weeks. School announcements over purchasing Valentine's grams, holiday bake sales, and the student council asking for volunteers to decorate accordingly. He's been dragged everywhere from the store to the mall, even to the shopping center by his various friends, each of them trying to find the perfect cards and gifts. He thought everyone was a fool scrambling around like wriggling worms. He'd already bought a pack of Terrence and Phillip Valentine cards and hastily written them all out for his friends. He suddenly found himself a hypocrite when Kenny offhandedly asked him a question.
"D'ya get anything for Kyle yet?" Kenny asked as he mashed the buttons on the controller.
They were sitting in Stan's living room on the couch playing Mortal Kombat for the nth time. Stan flushed hard, his Neptune eyes not leaving the screen. Ever since Kenny's deduced Stan's major crush on Kyle, he'd been teasing him about it to some degree. But of course, he'd drummed it up quite a bit recently because of the nature of the holiday.
"Quit your cheap tricks, Ken. I almost got you!"
"That's real cute, Stan. Forreal though."
Stan scoffed, rolling his eyes. "What about you? What are you getting Marj?" Stan could see him smile softly at the mention of his long-time girlfriend.
"I'm halfway through making her a paper bouquet of white roses. I've already got a Hello Kitty plushie picked out and a huge bag of peach ring gummies. Then, I'll take her someplace to eat."
"Fuck. You've got it figured out, huh?" Stan says glumly and tosses his controller to the side of the couch. Kenny's won.
"Scorpion wins!" The TV announces.
"Nice one." Stan offers his fist to Kenny.
Kenny smiles broadly and fistbumps him. "Gg, bruh."
"Y'know someone might confess to Kyle, right?" Kenny presses his back against the couch arm, tossing his feet into Stan's lap.
"If I were you, I'd get my shit together and ask him out before someone else does. I'd hate to see you regret it~" Kenny singsonged.
Stan's stomach dropped so far it touched his asshole. He hadn't thought of that.
"Fuuuuck." He whined, lightly punching at Kenny's mismatched sock-clad feet. The left one was white with a grey toe and heel. The other hit mid-calf and was green with marijuana leaves.
"Well, you could get him something that reminds you of him. Or maybe write him a nice letter along with some flowers. You could even bake him something. I'll help you if you want. " Kenny suggests while scrolling on his phone, squishing Stan's thighs with his feet.
Stan sprawled out further onto the couch and considered.
"S'okay. I'll figure it out soon." Stan replied, pulling his hat over his bleached strands, wondering how to successfully ask his best friend out.
---
Stan gawps at the red and pink hearts coating the walls. Glittery streamers were strung up and absurd posters depicting crude drawings of Eric as Cupid were plastered around. It looked like Valentine's Day exploded and no nook or cranny was spared. He could hear girls gossiping about their crushes and quiet whispers of boys betting on each other to get kissed by the end of the day.
"Woah, dude, who's that for?" Stan questions timidly as Kyle shoves a red, heart-shaped box into his locker.
"What? I don't know what you're talking about, Stan." Kyle feigns ignorance as he tries to compose himself, pushing his wire-framed glasses up his nose. Stan thought they were cute.
"No way. Someone gave it to you?" Stan looks at him, bewilderment on his face.
"Who's it for, Kyle?" Stan presses on, confused as to why he didn't want to answer.
"No one's, alright?" He groaned in embarrassment, blood rushing up his neck already. Before Stan could get another word in, the bell rang for class.
"Just drop it, okay? We have to go to class anyways, and I don't want to be late."
"Okay, bro, whatever you say," Stan holds two hands up in defeat.
"C'mon then." He takes Kyle's hand and pulls him along the hallway, failing to notice Kyle's lovesick smile.
"You're still coming over after work, right?" Kyle implored, mumbling at the back of Stan's head.
"Count on it."
It's hard to focus on Mr. Garrison's lesson on quadratic equations when Stan's stomach feels like a bunch of frogs jumping around.
He's always felt like this around Kyle. He was always happy to see him, the sight of this green hat was familiar, comforting. It made the glacial early mornings a little more tolerable. This morning, however, was a little different. Stan was dying to know who the box was for. The thought of Kyle giving his love away was hurting him. Furthering his distress was the thought of someone confessing to Kyle and him accepting.
Oh god. Stan thought, burying his head into his notebook.
---
Stan was relieved he didn't drop the vase of pink carnations due to his sweaty palms as the door swung open.
"For you, Sheila." Stan greeted her, presenting the flowers.
"Oh, goodness, Stan these are just beautiful! Thank you! Come inside, sweetheart, Kyle's just in his room." She smothered him a hug and ushered him inside. He almost wondered what it would be like to be her son-in-law, but he hastily shoved that thought from his mind.
He stepped inside, taking his sneakers off and setting them by the door. He said his hellos to Gerald and Ike before heading up the stairs to Kyle's room.
"Hey, dude." Stan poked his head through the door before opening it fully. Kyle's head lifted from his homework. The room was lit only by his green banker lamp and a vanilla-scented candle on his dresser.
"Hey Stan, how was work?"
"Pretty good. Someone adopted that golden retriever I was talking about last week." Stan replied. He'd been working part-time at the local pet shop.
"Aw, how nice. Glad they've found a home." Kyle's eyes were twinkling gems in the lamplight as he shoved his homework away. Stan wishes he could ogle at them all day long.
"You're nicer." Kyle's head snapped to him, wondering if his ears were damaged, if he really heard him right.
Stan thrust his hand into his coat pocket before he could weasel out.
"I got something for you. I know it's a little late, but I didn't want Cartman to see it. Happy Valentine's Day."
Abashedly, he handed him a thin, rectangular box.
"Holy fuck, Stan, you didn't have to! The card you gave me in class is enough for me."
Stan stayed silent as Kyle's fingers traced around the black crushed velvet. He opened the box and let out a soft gasp. It was beautiful. A 14k gold Star of David pendant. It was shaped like a coin, the star embedded in the center. The round edge was braided like a rope. The chain was was a thin cuban-link. Kyle was at a loss for words. He quickly swiped at his eyes, not wanting the tears to drop.
"Flip it over." Stan urged.
"SM & KB?" Kyle's voice trembled as he traced the engraving on the delicate surface. He refused to blink, he didn't want the tears that were stored to cascade down his cheeks.
"Us." Stan finished as he walked over, taking the pendant from his hands. He twirled Kyle around in his office chair.
"May I?"
"Please."
Kyle felt Stan's fingertips dance at the nape of his neck, and his breath caught in his throat. Stan made sure to keep his touch sparse and gentle, in fear he might scare him away.
"I got it because it reminded me of you," Stan confessed, remembering Kenny's various suggestions. "I thought it'd look nice on you. I was sorely mistaken,"
A sound escaped Kyle's mouth as he whipped around with a hurt expression, but Stan quickly finished his sentence.
"You look stunning, Ky."
Kyle could have sworn he had died a kind death and was levitating towards heaven if not for Stan tucking a stray curl out of Kyle's vision. He was close enough to see the candle's flame reflecting in his eyes. Kyle always thought Stan's eyes were so blue it was fucking ridiculous. Like the ocean, he could feel the water pulling him under, a powerful spell.
Their noses were almost touching now. Kyle could smell the delicate rose scent of Stan's laundry detergent. Stan braced both his hands on the chair's armrests, effectively caging Kyle in. There was no way of escape, but he didn't mind.
"Kyle." Stan's breathy tone made his body tingle.
"Yes?"
"Recently, I found that I love you. But, I think I always have." Stan stepped back only to pull Kyle up from his seat. He grasped one of his hands and placed it up where his heart was.
"You feel it?" Stan's heart was thrumming under his fingers.
"I feel like it's always beating for you. I didn't know why my heart always went crazy when you said nice things to me, or when we'd have dinner with our families together, or when we'd go stargazing, just you and me. But, now I know it's because you're important to me and I want you in my life forever."
Kyle raised his unoccupied hand to cup Stan's cheek. "Promise you want me?" He thought his heart was beating just as fast as his, too.
"Want you? I need you."
Their yearning lips met, ravanous for one another. Stan's hands found themselved roaming underneath Kyle's loose Greatful Dead sweater, pulling his lithe waist as close as possible. Kyle's were threaded in Stan's hair, desperately, so much so that they didn't hear Sheila come in.
"I bought you boys some cookies-" She started, but she was frozen mid sentence, astonished.
"MA!" "Oh shit!" The two exclaimed, flying apart from themselves like they were burned.
Guilt and embarassment were clear to see on their faces, Sheila saw quite well even in the dimly lit room.
There was a lenthy stillness in the room that felt like forever when really it was more like a minute. Stan refused to look at anything but the floor, Kyle was trying to ge Stan to look at him, and Sheila was looking at them both. She decided to break the silence.
"Do you boys need condoms as well or-"
"Ma!" They were all in varying degrees of embarrasment and apology.
"We can talk about this whenever you're ready, bubie." She said patiently, giving her son a peck on the forhead. She gave Stan a knowing smile and set the plate of chocolate chip cookies on Kyle's desk, leaving the room. It was just the two of them again.
They examined eachother, both smiling ear to ear. No words were needed as Kyle grabbed two cookies, one for him and the other for Stan. They were eating the cookies sitting on his bed when Kyle remembered.
"Oh!" Kyle went over to his backpack and rummaged a bit before he pulled out the red box. He held it out to Stan.
"For me?" Stan was dumbfounded, cookie crumble on the corner of his mouth.
Kyle giggled and rolled his eyes, "Yes, dumbass, now open it!"
Stan couldn't fucking believe this. God, he's perfect. Stan was ready to thank every god for Kyle. In the heart-shaped box was a golden chain bracelet. It had two charms; one was a heart with a key hole shape in the middle, another was the left size of a heart.
He thought he could conbust into tears at any moment. He looked towards Kyle who beamed at him and held up his right arm. He pulled his sleeve down to reveal another gold chain bracelet. A key charm and the right side of a heart to match with his own.
"They're magnets," Kyle bought their bracelets together and the two halves connected forming a full heart.
"My other half." Stan grew teary, interlocking their hands.
"You're so sappy." Kyle said before kissing him again.
Valentine's Day was inescapable, it seemed. It was just another cash-grabbing holiday, but It's all everyone at school's been talking about for the past few weeks. School announcements over purchasing Valentine's grams, holiday bake sales, and the student council asking for volunteers to decorate accordingly. He's been dragged everywhere from the store to the mall, even to the shopping center by his various friends, each of them trying to find the perfect cards and gifts. He thought everyone was a fool scrambling around like wriggling worms. He'd already bought a pack of Terrence and Phillip Valentine cards and hastily written them all out for his friends. He suddenly found himself a hypocrite when Kenny offhandedly asked him a question.
"D'ya get anything for Kyle yet?" Kenny asked as he mashed the buttons on the controller.
They were sitting in Stan's living room on the couch playing Mortal Kombat for the nth time. Stan flushed hard, his Neptune eyes not leaving the screen. Ever since Kenny's deduced Stan's major crush on Kyle, he'd been teasing him about it to some degree. But of course, he'd drummed it up quite a bit recently because of the nature of the holiday.
"Quit your cheap tricks, Ken. I almost got you!"
"That's real cute, Stan. Forreal though."
Stan scoffed, rolling his eyes. "What about you? What are you getting Marj?" Stan could see him smile softly at the mention of his long-time girlfriend.
"I'm halfway through making her a paper bouquet of white roses. I've already got a Hello Kitty plushie picked out and a huge bag of peach ring gummies. Then, I'll take her someplace to eat."
"Fuck. You've got it figured out, huh?" Stan says glumly and tosses his controller to the side of the couch. Kenny's won.
"Scorpion wins!" The TV announces.
"Nice one." Stan offers his fist to Kenny.
Kenny smiles broadly and fistbumps him. "Gg, bruh."
"Y'know someone might confess to Kyle, right?" Kenny presses his back against the couch arm, tossing his feet into Stan's lap.
"If I were you, I'd get my shit together and ask him out before someone else does. I'd hate to see you regret it~" Kenny singsonged.
Stan's stomach dropped so far it touched his asshole. He hadn't thought of that.
"Fuuuuck." He whined, lightly punching at Kenny's mismatched sock-clad feet. The left one was white with a grey toe and heel. The other hit mid-calf and was green with marijuana leaves.
"Well, you could get him something that reminds you of him. Or maybe write him a nice letter along with some flowers. You could even bake him something. I'll help you if you want. " Kenny suggests while scrolling on his phone, squishing Stan's thighs with his feet.
Stan sprawled out further onto the couch and considered.
"S'okay. I'll figure it out soon." Stan replied, pulling his hat over his bleached strands, wondering how to successfully ask his best friend out.
Stan gawps at the red and pink hearts coating the walls. Glittery streamers were strung up and absurd posters depicting crude drawings of Eric as Cupid were plastered around. It looked like Valentine's Day exploded and no nook or cranny was spared. He could hear girls gossiping about their crushes and quiet whispers of boys betting on each other to get kissed by the end of the day.
"Woah, dude, who's that for?" Stan questions timidly as Kyle shoves a red, heart-shaped box into his locker.
"What? I don't know what you're talking about, Stan." Kyle feigns ignorance as he tries to compose himself, pushing his wire-framed glasses up his nose. Stan thought they were cute.
"No way. Someone gave it to you?" Stan looks at him, bewilderment on his face.
"Who's it for, Kyle?" Stan presses on, confused as to why he didn't want to answer.
"No one's, alright?" He groaned in embarrassment, blood rushing up his neck already. Before Stan could get another word in, the bell rang for class.
"Just drop it, okay? We have to go to class anyways, and I don't want to be late."
"Okay, bro, whatever you say," Stan holds two hands up in defeat.
"C'mon then." He takes Kyle's hand and pulls him along the hallway, failing to notice Kyle's lovesick smile.
"You're still coming over after work, right?" Kyle implored, mumbling at the back of Stan's head.
"Count on it."
It's hard to focus on Mr. Garrison's lesson on quadratic equations when Stan's stomach feels like a bunch of frogs jumping around.
He's always felt like this around Kyle. He was always happy to see him, the sight of this green hat was familiar, comforting. It made the glacial early mornings a little more tolerable. This morning, however, was a little different. Stan was dying to know who the box was for. The thought of Kyle giving his love away was hurting him. Furthering his distress was the thought of someone confessing to Kyle and him accepting.
Oh god. Stan thought, burying his head into his notebook.
Stan was relieved he didn't drop the vase of pink carnations due to his sweaty palms as the door swung open.
"For you, Sheila." Stan greeted her, presenting the flowers.
"Oh, goodness, Stan these are just beautiful! Thank you! Come inside, sweetheart, Kyle's just in his room." She smothered him a hug and ushered him inside. He almost wondered what it would be like to be her son-in-law, but he hastily shoved that thought from his mind.
He stepped inside, taking his sneakers off and setting them by the door. He said his hellos to Gerald and Ike before heading up the stairs to Kyle's room.
"Hey, dude." Stan poked his head through the door before opening it fully. Kyle's head lifted from his homework. The room was lit only by his green banker lamp and a vanilla-scented candle on his dresser.
"Hey Stan, how was work?"
"Pretty good. Someone adopted that golden retriever I was talking about last week." Stan replied. He'd been working part-time at the local pet shop.
"Aw, how nice. Glad they've found a home." Kyle's eyes were twinkling gems in the lamplight as he shoved his homework away. Stan wishes he could ogle at them all day long.
"You're nicer." Kyle's head snapped to him, wondering if his ears were damaged, if he really heard him right.
Stan thrust his hand into his coat pocket before he could weasel out.
"I got something for you. I know it's a little late, but I didn't want Cartman to see it. Happy Valentine's Day."
Abashedly, he handed him a thin, rectangular box.
"Holy fuck, Stan, you didn't have to! The card you gave me in class is enough for me."
Stan stayed silent as Kyle's fingers traced around the black crushed velvet. He opened the box and let out a soft gasp. It was beautiful. A 14k gold Star of David pendant. It was shaped like a coin, the star embedded in the center. The round edge was braided like a rope. The chain was a thin Cuban link. Kyle was at a loss for words. He quickly swiped at his eyes, not wanting the tears to drop.
"Flip it over." Stan urged.
"SM & KB?" Kyle's voice trembled as he traced the engraving on the delicate surface. He refused to blink, he didn't want the tears that were stored to cascade down his cheeks.
"Us." Stan finished as he walked over, taking the pendant from his hands. He twirled Kyle around in his office chair.
"May I?"
"Please."
Kyle felt Stan's fingertips dance at the nape of his neck, and his breath caught in his throat. Stan made sure to keep his touch sparse and gentle, in fear he might scare him away.
"I got it because it reminded me of you," Stan confessed, remembering Kenny's various suggestions. "I thought it'd look nice on you. I was sorely mistaken,"
A sound escaped Kyle's mouth as he whipped around with a hurt expression, but Stan quickly finished his sentence.
"You look stunning, Ky."
Kyle could have sworn he had died a kind death and was levitating towards heaven if not for Stan tucking a stray curl out of Kyle's vision. He was close enough to see the candle's flame reflecting in his eyes. Kyle always thought Stan's eyes were so blue it was fucking ridiculous. Like the ocean, he could feel the water pulling him under, a powerful spell.
Their noses were almost touching now. Kyle could smell the delicate rose scent of Stan's laundry detergent. Stan braced both his hands on the chair's armrests, effectively caging Kyle in. There was no way of escape, but he didn't mind.
"Kyle." Stan's breathy tone made his body tingle.
"Yes?"
"Recently, I found that I love you. But, I think I always have." Stan stepped back only to pull Kyle up from his seat. He grasped one of his hands and placed it up where his heart was.
"You feel it?" Stan's heart was thrumming under his fingers.
"I feel like it's always beating for you. I didn't know why my heart always went crazy when you said nice things to me, or when we'd have dinner with our families together, or when we'd go stargazing, just you and me. But, now I know it's because you're important to me and I want you in my life forever."
Kyle raised his unoccupied hand to cup Stan's cheek. "Promise you want me?" He thought his heart was beating just as fast as his, too.
"Want you? I need you."
Their yearning lips met, ravenous for one another. Stan's hands found themselves roaming underneath Kyle's loose Grateful Dead sweater, pulling his lithe waist as close as possible. Kyle's were threaded in Stan's hair, desperately, so much so that they didn't hear Sheila come in.
"I bought you boys some cookies-" She started, but she was frozen mid-sentence, astonished.
"MA!" "Oh shit!" The two exclaimed, flying apart from themselves like they were burned.
Guilt and embarrassment were clear to see on their faces, Sheila saw quite well even in the dimly lit room.
There was a lengthy stillness in the room that felt like forever when really it was more like a minute. Stan refused to look at anything but the floor, Kyle was trying to get Stan to look at him, and Sheila was looking at them both. She decided to break the silence.
"Do you boys need condoms as well or-"
"Ma!" They were all in varying degrees of embarrassment and apology.
"We can talk about this whenever you're ready, bubie." She said patiently, giving her son a peck on the forehead. She gave Stan a knowing smile and set the plate of chocolate chip cookies on Kyle's desk, leaving the room. It was just the two of them again.
They examined each other, both smiling ear to ear. No words were needed as Kyle grabbed two cookies, one for him and the other for Stan. They were eating the cookies and sitting on his bed when Kyle remembered.
"Oh!" Kyle went over to his backpack and rummaged a bit before he pulled out the red box. He held it out to Stan.
"For me?" Stan was dumbfounded, cookie crumbles on the corner of his mouth.
Kyle giggled and rolled his eyes, "Yes, dumbass, now open it!"
Stan couldn't fucking believe this. God, he's perfect. Stan was ready to thank every god for Kyle. In the heart-shaped box was a golden chain bracelet. It had two charms; one was a heart with a keyhole shape in the middle, another was the left side of a heart.
He thought he could combust into tears at any moment. He looked towards Kyle who beamed at him and held up his right arm. He pulled his sleeve down to reveal another gold chain bracelet. A key charm and the right side of a heart to match with his own.
"They're magnets," Kyle bought their bracelets together and the two halves connected forming a full heart.
"My other half." Stan grew teary, interlocking their hands.
"You're so sappy," Kyle said before kissing him again.
#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#south park#sp style#south park stan#sp stan#sp kyle#south park style#south park kyle#sp fluff#style fluff#sp stanky#finally some fluff T^T#im gonna cry they're so cute#please listen to the song!! it so fucking good omfg#i've been listening to it on repeat
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To Be Truly Free
Chapter 17
Previous | Next
What was it that Prince Theseus had said? They had kept this a secret so he wouldn’t do anything drastic?
He was a bit surprised they thought something like that would deter him. Considering, well, everything .
Technoblade took a sidestep to the right, Prince Wilbur’s arm squeezing to prevent his escape, keeping Techno slightly pinned to his side.
“Techno-” Prince Wilbur started.
Technoblade was counting on him holding onto him, though.
Technoblade slid his left leg behind Prince Wilbur’s legs and bent forward. Prince Wilbur made a noise of confusion as Technoblade wrapped his arm behind Prince Wilbur’s right knee.
“Techno-!” Prince Wilbur yelped as Techno lifted his leg rapidly, flipping Prince Wilbur backwards and over Techno’s shoulder to fall against a guard with a loud clang.
Technoblade stumbled, off balance. He had never tried to do that throw one handed, before. Kind of nice to know it worked. Chat cheered in his head, becoming more aware as things turned interesting. Technoblade didn’t really have time to focus on that, as he took advantage of the break in the ring of guards. He leapt over where Prince Wilbur was still struggling to disengage with the guard sprawled on top of him. A nearby guard reached out to grab Technoblade, but he twisted away from it, landing awkwardly but still upright.
Technoblade dug his feet in, taking two steps to sprint away as fast as he could.
A hand wrapped around his upper arm, jerking him to a halt and his momentum forcing him to turn around. The air was knocked out of his lungs as something hard hit against his stomach. And then he was being lifted, a tight grip around his knees.
All Technoblade saw was dark green fabric.
“Bruh,” Technoblade said under his breath and a voice chuckled beside him.
“Nice try, mate. But that was never going to work,” Phil said, holding Technoblade over his shoulder. Technoblade gritted his teeth, trying to wiggle out of the Emperor’s hold. But Phil’s grip just grew tighter as he walked back to the carriage.
Technoblade couldn’t see Prince Theseus, but he could hear him.
Laughing.
“Holy Shit, Wilbur. Holy shit,” Prince Theseus cackled. He sputtered and wheezed and gasped for air. “You just-you just got, like, tossed like a bag of flour-”
“Shut up, Tommy,” Prince Wilbur dusted his clothes, red faced.
“He literally flipped you, fuck! That was so fucking funny ,” Prince Theseus wheezed. “I'm gonna die again from laughing so hard. This is, like, the third funniest thing I have ever seen. Fuck, I wish I could just save your face forever or something.”
“Toms, enough,” Phil took a step up and into the carriage. Technoblade tried to jerk his arm out of Phil’s hand to catch the frame, but Phil didn’t even react to Technoblade’s struggle. The vampire ducked just enough so Technoblade didn’t brain himself against the carriage door. “It’s not nice to tease your brother like that.”
“See?”
“Even though it was fucking hilarious,” Phil snickered. Prince Wilbur squawked in irritation as Phil dropped Technoblade into the seat near the wall. The seat was cushioned, barely jostling Technoblade at all. Immediately he tried to stand.
A hand on his chest held him in place. Technoblade glared at Phil.
“No,” Phil said simply, Technoblade bristled at being talked to like a dog, but when Phil removed his hand he didn’t try to stand.
Mostly because he had more pressing issues.
“Dibs!” Prince Theseus cheered, plopping into the seat beside Technoblade. Technoblade twisted around quickly, placing his foot on Prince Theseus’s chest to keep the grasping hands away from him. “Oi, bitch, get your foot off me. I just want to give you a hug.”
“No chance,” Technoblade gritted his teeth, pushing with all of his strength against Prince Theseus, but the Prince didn’t even seem bothered.
“Phiiiiillll!”
“Tommy, back off of him,” Phil said as he sat across from Technoblade, Prince Wilbur sitting right next to him. Prince Wilbur pouted, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against Phil. “He obviously doesn’t want a hug.”
“But I do want a hug,” Prince Theseus continued to press against Technoblade’s foot, his leg giving an inch of room.
“Mate, we literally just had this conversation.”
“Phiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllll,” Prince Theseus whined, inching incrementally closer. Technoblade winced as his shoulder pressed against the wall of the carriage.
“Tommy, stop,” Phil said seriously. Prince Theseus froze. “Now.”
Prince Theseus groaned loudly, before backing off. He crossed his arms and leaned against the other side of the carriage, near the door. Technoblade hesitantly put his foot down, worried that the boy might decide to grab at him when he was unaware. Prince Theseus just sulked.
Technoblade carefully sat up, shoulder no longer pressing against the carriage wall-
-just as the carriage door clicked shut.
Technoblade stared at the door morosely, disappointed even though he really shouldn’t have expected that to work. It was a long shot. He really shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up. It couldn’t have worked.
Still.
I can’t believe it didn’t work
Cringe
Technoblade needs to figure out the sprint button
Cringe
But he FLIPPED Wilbur!
So funny.
E
Yeet Tommy, too. As a treat.
New definition of flipping someone off
Technoblade grimaced, reaching to press his hand against his head before he noticed Phil looking at him, a knowing gleam in his eye. Instead, Technoblade leaned heavily against the wall of the carriage, propping his head against the velvet lining of the seats. It didn’t help much.
When his eyes landed on the heavy curtained window less than a foot away from his face, Chat started to cheer.
Window!
Go out the window!
Jump from a moving vehicle!
Guys, that sounds like a bad idea-
It would be funny
The sun’s going to be up. How fast can they summon a cloud, anyway?
/weather
Window escape time
Go for it-
“Techno,” Technoblade tore his eyes away from the window to look at Phil. Phil smiled at him while reflexively running his fingers through Prince Wilbur’s hair. “Do not try to go out the window. Jumping out of a moving carriage would definitely be covered in the ‘no endangering yourself’ rule.”
Technoblade’s stomach dropped, the feeling of ice dripping into his heart.
It was a good threat, the promise of stripping him of his choice and identity. As much as it was a familiar one.
Technoblade swallowed nervously and looked at the floor.
“You understand what I mean?” Phil asked, not unkindly. But there was no real way to kindly imply stripping someone of their autonomy.
“Yes,” Technoblade replied, keeping his face as neutral as possible even as he huddled closer to the wall. He couldn’t-he didn’t look up at Phil as he answered. “I understand.”
The carriage was awkwardly silent. Two Princes pouted, one human sulked, and an Emperor looked on with exasperation.
The coach jolted forward, venturing on.
“A fantastic start,” Phil said wryly, still running his fingers through Wilbur’s hair. Prince Theseus groaned loudly. “Toms?”
“Yeah?” Prince Theseus asked hopefully.
“Switch seats with Wilbur for a bit,” Phil instructed. Prince Theseus sputtered in indignation and Technoblade glanced up. Phil was nudging Prince Wilbur into sitting up straight, Prince Wilbur looking at his father with a doubtful expression. “Just for a little while. You can sit next to Techno later.”
Prince Theseus groaned loudly, standing with theatrical reluctance as he and Prince Wilbur shuffled around each other. Prince Theseus sprawled across his father’s lap, Phil chuckling indulgently before messing with Prince Theseus’s hair. Technoblade tensed as Prince Wilbur plopped down beside him, ready to once again be grabbed by another one of the princes.
But Prince Wilbur didn’t reach out and grab him. Actually, the Prince sat further away from him, out of arm’s reach. Technoblade watched Prince Wilbur with suspicion, his uncharacteristic restraint alarming. Prince Wilbur glanced at him from the corner of his eye, but did not sit closer.
Okay, well, Technoblade was going to start tossing the vampires more often if it caused them to act so distant. If that was the trick to stop them from touching him, he was going in the business of tossing them every chance he got. Phil didn’t say anything about tossing Prince Theseus out the window…
Technoblade didn’t take his eyes off Prince Wilbur, off the immediate threat, growing more and more tense as seconds ticked by and the Prince didn’t react. Or speak. Or do anything other than glance furtively at Technoblade.
“Wil,” Phil said encouragingly. Technoblade didn’t even react to Phil’s voice, feeling like a wound spring. Prince Wilbur grimaced at his father, before sighing loudly and leaning back against the carriage seat. Prince Wilbur pressed his hands together as if in prayer, holding them against his mouth, before he looked directly at Technoblade.
If Technoblade could phase through the side of the carriage right that moment, he would not complain.
“Techno,” Prince Wilbur started. Technoblade’s eyes narrowed. “I have a gift for you.”
“Is it my freedom?” Technoblade raised an eyebrow. Prince Wilbur frowned, looking pained.
“No, it’s-”
“Pass,” Technoblade deadpanned. Prince Wilbur looked at Phil pleadingly, before looking back at Technoblade.
“How about I show you what it is, and then you decide if you want it or not?” Prince Wilbur asked.
“Hmm, nope. I’m good,” Technoblade glared.
“Well, I’m going to show it to you anyways,” Prince Wilbur said, straightening. Technoblade glared as Wilbur leaned forward, reaching under the seat to pull a drawer. Technoblade tried to tamp down his curiosity as he watched Wilbur rummage through the small drawer, finally pulling out what he was looking for.
A book.
“I remembered you mentioned that that one book, The Odyssey, was one of your favorites, right?” Prince Wilbur started hesitantly. Technoblade hesitated, before he nodded. “You also said that it was a sequel? Or, a continuation of another story? Right?”
“Yes,” Technoblade said carefully. Chat buzzed in his ears with anticipation. “The first part was lost. Or never recorded. Scholars aren’t sure.”
“Right, well,” Prince Wilbur pressed on, talking slightly quicker. “When you told me that, I sent a message back home to see if we might have a copy in our Library. The Library has almost any book you could imagine, old and new. Mostly because Dad’s a hoarder.”
Phil snorted, but didn’t interrupt. Technoblade glanced between Prince Wilbur’s face and the book in his hand.
A faint spark of want kindled in his heart.
“Turns out, Dad had grabbed a copy of it at some point,” Prince Wilbur chuckled nervously. Technoblade slowly sat up, leaning forward. Not even conscious of his movement. Prince Wilbur smiled. “The original was in pretty bad shape, old before Dad got his decrepit hands on it, but I had someone quickly make a copy and send it out. I can’t say if the translation is accurate. I’d never heard of it before, let alone read it. Still-”
Prince Wilbur held out the book closer to Technoblade. Technoblade blinked at it, reading the front cover.
The Iliad by The Poet.
Technoblade’s eyes widened.
“It’s your’s,” Prince Wilbur said, holding it out further. “If you want it, that is.”
Technoblade reached out to grab the book, Wil’s arm stretching out further so it was inches from Technoblade’s grasp.
Technoblade hesitated, pulling his hand back.
“What do you want for it?” Technoblade looked away from the temptation and stared at Prince Wilbur.
“What?” Prince Wilbur asked, frowning.
“What do you want for it?” Technoblade repeated, clenching his fist and leaning away.
“I-nothing,” Prince Wilbur said. “I don’t want anything.”
Technoblade scoffed, fully leaning back against the wall. But he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the book.
“I’m serious, Techno,” Prince Wilbur said, holding the book out. “I don’t want anything from you. I just thought you would enjoy it.”
Technoblade raised an eyebrow, doubt written all over his expression. Prince Wilbur groaned.
“You don’t have to take it. That’s fine, Techno,” Prince Wilbur said, his mouth twisted like he bit into a lemon. “But I’m not asking anything of you for it. Not even that you stop calling me ‘Your Highness’. I just wanted to get you a gift. Is that so hard to believe?���
“Yes,” Technoblade said instantly. Prince Wilbur took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. Running one hand through his hair, Prince Wilbur looked at Technoblade with an unreadable expression. He then carefully laid the book on the seat between them, easily within Technoblade’s reach.
“If you want it, it’s your’s,” Prince Wilbur said finally. He leaned back against the seat, pointedly looking away from Technoblade. “No strings attached.”
Technoblade frowned at Prince Wilbur, the vampire resolutely not looking at him. Prince Wilbur seemed perfectly content to stare at the wall, saying nothing. Technoblade glanced at Phil and Prince Theseus. Prince Theseus had his head in Phil’s lap, eyes closed and letting Phil brush through the Prince’s hair with his fingers. Prince Theseus had a content smile plastered across his face.
Technoblade looked back at the book, sitting harmlessly on the velvet seat cushion.
…He should just grab it and toss it out the window. Show them how much their gifts meant to him when they kept him, treated him like a pet. Spit on any attempts to try to get him to warm up to him. But-
He wanted it. He really really wanted it. His heart twisted in his chest as he looked at the book.
It could just be a lie. It might not even be real. They could have just gotten any old book and labeled it as something he wanted. Crafted a forgery. He had never read it before. How would he know?
His fingers twitched, his face screwed up with indecision.
Would it really hurt for him to take it? Just to find out?
The only thing he really had to lose was his pride, right? And he had suffered blows to his pride all of his life, that was nothing new. But this time he could gain something. Something he so desperately wanted.
Prince Wilbur had said he didn’t want anything for it.
Hesitantly, he leaned forward and placed his hand on the book cover. He paused, glancing at Prince Wilbur to see his reaction.
Prince Wilbur wasn’t looking at Technoblade, still staring at the wall.
Slowly, half expecting someone to rush forward and rip the book from his hand, Technoblade picked up the book and sat it in his lap. He stared down at it, tracing a finger over the title’s lettering. With curiosity, he opened the cover to read the first page.
“Sing, O goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus, that brought countless ills upon the Achaeans. Many a brave soul did it send hurrying down to Hades, and many a hero did it yield a prey to dogs and vultures, for so were the counsels of Jove fulfilled from the day on which the son of Atreus, king of men, and great Achilles, first fell out with one another…” Technoblade read, before he paused, looking up hesitantly at Prince Wilbur. The Prince was still not looking at him.
“...thanks,” Technoblade said finally. He looked away, not meeting Prince Wilbur’s eye as the man turned to look at him.
“You’re welcome,” Prince Wilbur said, voice bright with happiness. Technoblade fidgeted. “I hope you like it.”
Technoblade nodded at the words, leaning his head against the carriage wall as he looked down at the book in his lap. He continued reading on.
“ And which of the gods was it that set them on to quarrel? It was the son of Jove and Leto; for he was angry with the king and sent a pestilence upon the host to plague …” Technoblade smiled slightly as he read, relaxing minutely against the side of the carriage as he became lost in the words.
So he didn’t notice the victorious grin Prince Wilbur shared with Phil.
—
Technoblade was pointedly not listening to what Prince Wilbur and Prince Theseus were arguing about.
When the two princes first started trading words, Technoblade had listened for a moment to see if they were talking about him or something related to Scywar. But when he realized it was about something completely incomprehensible, he completely tuned them out, focusing on the book once more.
Which was probably why he hadn’t noticed the first few times Prince Wilbur inched closer.
It was subtle. Prince Wilbur was an animated man, gesturing wildly with his arms. The man was full of passion and eloquence, even making the ridiculous argument sound convincing. The guy was vibrant. Distracting. In constant motion.
That constant motion disguised Prince Wilbur sliding further along the seat and closer to Technoblade. Technoblade only noticed when suddenly Prince Wilbur’s fluttering hands cast shadows on his book, blocking the hanging lantern’s glow.
Technoblade glared at Prince Wilbur, but he didn’t seem to notice, locked into the argument he was having with Prince Theseus. Pointedly, Technoblade went back to reading.
And reading.
And reading.
And read-
Technoblade’s head started to nod forward, blinking heavily as each minute passed. The smooth motion of the rocking carriage lulling his senses and dragging him closer to sleep. He lifted his hand, rubbing at his eyes as he tried to wipe away the desire to rest. He could sleep later. He might find an opening to escape while they traveled, so he couldn’t just waste it being unconscious. Plus, he had a good book. Sleep could wait. He didn’t need sleep-
“So, really, it’s just an insult to your foot, keeping it trapped in an extra cell,” Prince Wilbur argued. “What crimes did the foot commit to wrap it in not one, but two layers? Sock and shoe? It seems like an excessive use of force. A cruel and unusual, not to mention discriminatory, punishment against one of the most important parts of our body.”
“It’s not a punishment, Wilbur. My funky socks are a hug for my toes,” Prince Theseus spat back. “It’s like they are constantly getting affection, which my feet deserve. I kick ass with these. They deserve all the love.”
“It’s not love, it’s prison-”
“Which is why I have been showering with these socks on. Not a single second will go by where my toes won’t feel loved,” Prince Theseus declared proudly, before making a face. “It took a bit to get used to that sensation, though.”
“Hang on, no,” Phil cut in. Technoblade looked back at his book, turning a page. “No, you are not going to be showering in your socks, mate. You are going to change those.”
“No, I’m not,” Prince Theseus scoffed.
“Yes, you are,” Phil looked like he was fighting back a smile. “You’re gonna get trenchfoot.”
“No, I won’t. I’m too big a man for that,” Prince Theseus said confidently. Technoblade blinked rapidly, the words on the page blurring slightly.
“That doesn’t-” Technoblade flinched and stopped listening to Phil when a hand tapped his shoulder. He looked up quickly to see Wilbur sitting barely a few inches away from him, holding something in his hand. Technoblade glanced down at it.
“It’s not much, but Dad didn’t want to stop very often on the road,” Prince Wilbur said, offering a large bun. Technoblade carefully sat his book in his lap, before reaching out to grab it. It wasn’t warm, but it was still soft. Technoblade squished it slightly. “And you need to eat before you take any of the medicine.”
Technoblade scowled at the mention of the medicines and potions, but took a bite of the bun. He could admit it was tasty, especially the artfully seasoned meat that was packed inside of it. He chewed carefully as he stared at Prince Wilbur.
Because Prince Wilbur was not scooting back to where he was before.
Technoblade narrowed his eyes and contemplated arguing about it, but as close as the Prince was to him, he was not touching Technoblade. Not even brushing against him. Not even looking at him. Prince Wilbur leaned back against the seat, crossing his arms as he cackled watching Phil scold Prince Theseus. Technoblade chewed thoughtfully-
-before deciding it wasn’t worth mentioning.
Technoblade leaned his head against the wall, making quick work of the bun. He only had one hand and he would much rather use it reading. Which means he needed to eat as quickly as he possibly could.
Chat, however, didn’t want to let it drop.
Toss him again
Hug him
Awwww Wilbur is so close
He gave us a book
Such a good book
Frog in boiling water moment
I’m getting kind of worried about the Patroclus guy, though.
Yeah, that foreshadowing ain’t great
E
Hug Wilbur or something
Defenestrate him!
Technoblade shoved the last of the bun in his mouth and steadied the book in his lap, ready to dive right back into the story-
“Medicine, Techno,” Wilbur reminded. Technoblade glared at him, cheeks puffed out slightly from the food in his mouth. Wilbur snorted, covering his mouth with one hand. In the other, he held an uncorked glass bottle. “Oh gods, you look like a little chipmunk!”
Technoblade narrowed his eyes further, chewing quickly and snatching the bottle away from Wilbur. The man didn’t complain, only cooing over Technoblade. Technoblade swallowed the rest of the half-chewed food painfully and looked at the bottle in his hand.
He glanced at the curtained window, then back at the bottle.
He could just throw it out.
Yes!
Do that!
Toss the bottle!
Splash!
It wasn’t a book, he could just be spiteful and throw it out.
Embrace the Spite!
Guys, no, its medicine.
He’s hurt!
Toss toss toss!
He was certain they had backups, spare bottles of medicine to shove down his throat.
Splash potion!
Not a potion
Sort of a potion?
Guys, stop!
Potion-ish
Throw it out the window!
E
It was inevitable he would have to take it, so why not-?
“You have to drink it, Techno,” Wilbur’s voice cut through the noise. Technoblade blinked and looked over at him. Wilbur looked at him with concern.
“Obviously,” Technoblade deadpanned, Chat buzzing in his ears. “What else would I do with it?”
“Considering it’s you? I’m sure you’d find some creative way to use it for an escape attempt,” Wilbur chuckled, yet it sounded slightly nervous.
“Would I do that?” Technoblade drawled, swirling the liquid in the bottle.
“Yes,” Wilbur said surely. Technoblade turned his head slowly toward Wilbur, dramatically slow. He leveled Wilbur with a blank expression, watching the man stew for a moment. Wilbur looked more and more concerned as Technoblade stared. “Technoblade, please don’t use the medicine bottle for an escape attempt.”
“Bruh, that’s a very heavy ask,” Technoblade drawled, Chat laughing in his ears as Technoblade fought to keep his expression neutral. “There are so many options for this one bottle.”
“Techno-”
“I could probably take out the entire army with this bottle,” Technoblade snarked. “A priceless weapon-”
“Okay, you’re making fun of me-”
“Literally, wish I had this bottle with me when I was in Scywar. You nerds would have never breached the wall,” Technoblade was fighting valiantly not to smirk. “All I needed was this bottle, specifically. Not like every other medicine bottle you gave me over the last…however many days.”
Wilbur looked torn between being insulted and amused, his face twitching weirdly as he watched Technoblade.
“Can you please just drink it?” Wilbur finally said. Technoblade shrugged, before tilting the bottle to his lips. He grimaced slightly at the strong sweet taste. “Okay, great. Thanks for acting like a reasonable person, Technobla-”
“Wilbur, you bitch!” Prince Theseus shouted, startling Technoblade. Technoblade sputtered, nearly choking on the medicine. He swallowed, before coughing as some of the liquid went down the wrong way. “I was supposed to give Techno his food and medicine.”
“Oh, so sorry, Toms,” Wilbur said, sounding not even a bit sorry. “I guess this is the consequence of your choice to waterboard your feet with the mainstream torture device we call ‘socks’-”
“You son of a-”
“Enough,” Phil interrupted suddenly. Phil held one hand up, silencing the princes. “It doesn’t matter who gave him what. You two need to calm the fuck down with that. What’s important is that he takes the medicine-”
Phil looked over at Technoblade, the man looking incredibly amused.
“-and doesn’t throw it out the window for shits and giggles,” Phil finished. Technoblade huffed, leaning against the wall and trying to act completely innocent. Chat giggled in his ears.
“Darn,” Technoblade deadpanned. “It’s like you read my mind.”
“No mind reading necessary, mate,” Phil snorted. “Your expressions are just incredibly easy to read.”
Technoblade considered the words for a moment, before he took offense at that. He had spent most of his life hiding his expressions, making sure every bloodthirsty priest didn’t see the anger and spite behind his eyes. Or that they didn’t see through his lies when he covered his trail from his misdeeds. He knew he wasn’t easy to read. He was pretty proud of that fact.
Technoblade gave Phil a deadpan expression, before dropping the glass bottle into the floor. It didn’t break, hardly making a noise as it landed on the thick carpet of the carriage. Technoblade turned away from the laughing royals, pulling his book high enough to block his face from their sight.
If he blushed, no one would know but him.
—
Technoblade was dozing lightly when the carriage came to a stop. The sudden lack of movement had Technoblade blinking awake. No, not blinking awake. He wasn’t sleeping. He absolutely wasn’t sleeping. He was just…resting his eyes.
“Look who’s awake,” Phil grinned at him. Wilbur was now laid across Phil’s lap, letting Phil mess with his hair. Technoblade huffed, sitting up from where he was pressed against the carriage door.
Or, at least, attempting to sit up.
A weight pressed against his side prevented him from moving. He glanced down and frowned at Prince Theseus’s arms wrapped around him. Prince Theseus’s head leaned against his shoulder.
Technoblade scowled, shifting to try to get the Prince to let go.
“No. Go back to sleep,” Prince Theseus groaned. “This is just a dream. You’re dreaming. You-”
“More like a nightmare, get off,” Technoblade squirmed, trying to get his arm out from under Prince Theseus. Prince Theseus just held on tighter.
“Nooooooo, go back to sleep or something. This was nice ,” Prince Theseus complained. Technoblade grunted, twisting to try and get his leg in between Prince Theseus’s chest and Technoblade. “Stop fucking moving .”
“Tommy,” Phil finally said. “Let him go. He doesn’t want you clinging to him right now.”
“Awwww, but Phiiil,” Prince Theseus whined, his grip loosening slightly.
“Remember what I said?” Phil asked, raising an eyebrow as Prince Theseus pouted. “Wilbur did.”
Well, wasn’t that a cryptic statement for Technoblade to ponder. Prince Theseus muttered something inaudible, before he let go of Technoblade and inched away. Technoblade relaxed slightly, relieved that he was no longer held in the vice of the immortal teenager’s grip. Technoblade was finally able to sit up properly, his neck cracking from where it was angled against the wall. He rubbed it slightly before looking around for his book.
It had fallen in the floor. Technoblade quickly picked it up.
“So, why are we stopped?” Technoblade asked, double checking that his page was marked.
“It’s nearly sunset. Which means it's time to make camp,” Wilbur muttered as he stretched, slowly sitting up from Phil’s lap. “Which is fucking fantastic. I’m exhausted. Honestly, I’m positively dripping in envy watching Techno nap. Gods, I miss being able to do that.”
“Do what?” Technoblade asked, brows furrowed.
“Nap anywhere. Just flop over on the side of the road and take a little catnap,” Wilbur explained. “Just lounge in the nearest bush and just get some shut eye. I got some of my best naps on the sides of roads…”
“And…you can’t do that?” Technoblade asked again. Wilbur snorted.
“Nope. Very particular sleep requirements, unfortunately. That’s the immortal life for you,” Wilbur said, pushing his hair out of his face.
“Really?” Technoblade asked, filing the information away for later. “And what would those requirements be?”
Wilbur opened his mouth to answer, but Phil interrupted him.
“Mate, if you’re gonna fish for weaknesses, maybe don’t use such obvious fucking bait,” Phil said with a smile. Technoblade huffed.
“Really? Is that a weakness?” Technoblade drawled, causing Phil to snort. “I would have never known.”
“Okay, you little shit,” Phil said, laughing. A knock on the carriage door drew Phil’s attention. “It’s not one you could use, anyway, but we will leave that for another time. The sun has set. Let's get you back to the tent so you can rest without your neck at a seventy-five degree angle. Honestly, mate, that looked fucking uncomfortable.”
Technoblade shrugged.
“Eh, I’ve had worse,” Technoblade said flippantly. And he didn’t miss the way the Emperor’s expression darkened.
“So I’ve heard,” Phil said, tone clipped. Technoblade paused at Phil’s expression, the man standing in the carriage. “Come along, then.”
The carriage door opened without anyone needing to touch it. Or, at least, anyone inside the carriage needing to touch it.
Technoblade spied an Empire soldier holding the door, bent at the waist in a bow. Wilbur exited the carriage first, stepping out of the vehicle with an unconcerned air. Prince Theseus followed next, skipping the steps entirely and just jumping to the ground. Already, Prince Theseus was chattering at Wilbur, Wilbur laughing at whatever Prince Theseus was saying.
It left only Technoblade and Phil in the carriage.
Technoblade glanced at the window, curtains well within reach.
Technically, not a moving vehicle anymore-
A hand wrapped around his wrist, drawing his attention back to a grinning Phil.
“No,” Phil said with a smile, tugging Technoblade toward the door. “Gods, I shouldn’t have been so hard on Wil and Tommy. I can definitely see how they lost track of you now.”
“Bruh,” Technoblade scoffed, half-way tempted to try and pull away. “You act like I’m a lost child wandering away from their parents in a market square.”
Phil laughed loudly, throwing back his head. Technoblade frowned as Phil let go of his wrist and instead placed a hand on Technoblade’s back, urging him forward.
“Well, I have quite a lot of experience with children wandering off and getting lost,” Phil said as Technoblade stepped out of the carriage. Phil was a step behind. “Tommy, in particular, is absolute dog shit at directions.”
“Bitch!” Prince Theseus turned around instantly, interrupting his own sentence.
“Ah, I did actually know that,” Technoblade said neutrally. “I had to explain the concept of East to him.”
“Fuck you!”
“-and I still had to walk him through the city. It was too hard a concept for him,” Technoblade shrugged, acting casual about the incident. Phil wheezed with laughter, head briefly resting against Technoblade’s shoulder. Technoblade smiled hesitantly, a warmth in his chest as Phil looked at him with fondness. Technoblade quickly looked away, the unfamiliar expression flustering him as he looked out into the dusk.
Cages on wheels as far as he could see, hundreds of faces glaring through the bars. At the soldiers. At the Royals.
At Technoblade.
Technoblade looked at the ground, a pit sinking in his stomach.
Guilt tasted bitter on his tongue.
Ah, Techno
Not your fault
E
“Techno?” Phil said, suddenly concerned. Technoblade refused to look at him, focusing on the ground. The little light in the sky slowly fading.
Priests' fault
Dante’s fault
You didn’t do this
Heck, you could even blame the Blood God or Kris-
Definitely not on you
Technoblade gripped the book a little tighter, his knuckles going white from the effort.
“C’mon, mate,” Technoblade didn’t look at Phil as he spoke, the man gently guiding Technoblade forward. “You need rest.”
Technoblade didn’t look up as he was pulled along, rings of soldiers surrounding them as they walked. Armor jingled and jostled, but not nearly loud enough to hide the distant sobs or shouts as they slowly made their way deeper into the heart of the army. Technoblade glanced up as they approached the familiar tent, the soldiers veering to the sides to surround each section.
“Why did you add more soldiers?” Wilbur asked. “I thought we agreed that eighteen would be-”
“Call it a hunch,” Phil replied, holding the tent flat open as Technoblade ducked inside. “But considering some things I learned, I thought it might be best for some extra security.”
Technoblade glared at Phil, the man smiling at him innocently. Looking around the tent, Technoblade couldn’t help but notice something odd.
“...it looks exactly the same,” Technoblade blinked in surprise.
“Obviously, we wouldn’t have them take our stuff,” Prince Theseus scoffed, plopping onto the ground.
“No, I mean,” Technoblade looked closer. “It’s exactly the same.”
The blanket that Technoblade had claimed for himself was still scrunched up in a ball next to the pillow that held the hidden scalpel. A pile of cushions seemed to be organized in the exact same pattern. Each colorful blanket in the exact same placement as-
“Of course, Techno,” Phil’s hand lightly patted Technoblade’s good shoulder. “I expect perfection. That means that those that serve me should be extra careful not to mess up the details.”
“Bruh, that’s-” Technoblade cut himself off, disturbed. Gods, Technoblade had spent years trying to fit under a regime of rigid rules. The Emperor hadn’t demanded anything from him yet, but-Phil chuckled, nudging Technoblade further inside.
“Don’t think about it too hard, Techno,” Phil said. “You just rest.”
“Of course. Why would I think about the rigid perfectionism the Emperor of the Sleeping Empire has? I’m sure that won’t be disturbing at all-”
“Hush,” Phil said. Technoblade carefully sat next to his secret scalpel pillow, pulling the cushion into his lap. “Tommy?”
“Yeah?” Prince Theseus looked up from where he was spread on the cushions.
“Wil and I are going to eat,” Technoblade paused at that, glancing up at Phil. Technoblade shivered at the vampire’s sharp smile. “I didn’t appreciate some of those priests’ glares at my-at Techno. Watch over him while we’re gone.”
“Of course, Dadza. I’m the best at watching. I’ll keep an eye on him, nothing’s gonna get past-” A pillow to the face cut off Prince Theseus’s spiel. Technoblade looked over to see Wilbur grinning as he dramatically dusted his hands. “Wilbur, I will murder you while you sleep.”
“Later, mate,” Phil waved off, grabbing Wilbur’s elbow and towing him behind him. “Just keep an eye on Techno. Make sure he doesn’t get into shit.”
“You got it,” Prince Theseus held both thumbs up, Phil chuckling as he and Wilbur exited the tent. Technoblade slumped, slowly turning to look at the wide grin on Prince Theseus’s face.
“Lay down, bitch,” Prince Theseus said, slowly sitting up. “Time for you to sleep.”
“Let me guess,” Technoblade drawled, moving his cushion to a more comfortable position. “I’m going to wake up with a blonde child wrapping his limbs around me like a tetchy octopus.”
“No, bitch,” Prince Theseus scoffed. “I’m gonna hug you.”
“Right,” Technoblade sighed, grabbing his claimed blanket. “Silly me.”
—-
Technoblade woke to screams.
He quickly grabbed the pitiful little scalpel in his pillow, searching the low light of the tent for some source of the terrified shouts. But the deafening shrieks weren't coming from within the tent.
Mostly because, besides Technoblade, there was no one inside the tent.
The Royals were missing.
Technoblade didn’t have time to even comprehend the strangeness of that before the screaming got louder. Wait, not just screaming. There was the familiar sound of iron clashing against iron, metal clanging against metal. Each accompanied by shouts of agony and the gurgling sound of one choking on blood. Technoblade hesitantly sat up, trying to pinpoint the source of the sound.
Just as a soldier crashed backwards through the tent flap, a wheezing wet moan as a sword was yanked from the man’s neck. High flames burning in the night backlit six people as they rushed inside the tent, faces hidden in shadow as the tent flap closed behind them.
“Fuck. Fuck! This wasn’t how this was supposed to go!” One voice panted. Technoblade noticed the unsheathe sword the figure held in their hand and gripped the measly little scalpel in his hand. “This isn’t what he promised. He said that-”
“Obviously he lied, that Prime-damned swindler. We’ve been used,” Another voice spat. Another loud shriek outside had the group flinch. “We never should have trusted him. Honestly, how could we trust someone when he refused to even show his f-”
“Enough,” A voice hissed and Technoblade’s breath stuttered, his grip on the scalpel tightening. “We never trusted him. We knew we couldn’t trust him from the start. The man had no faith in the Blood God-”
Technoblade swallowed heavily, his heart racing.
“-but that doesn’t mean that we would refuse such a useful gift,” Technoblade listened to the voice continue. A very familiar voice. Chat started to buzz in concern, but Technoblade paid them no mind as his heart began to race. “We will take the heretic’s gift and we will make the most of it. We will escape and find a way to overthrow this invasion.”
The man turned, but Technoblade didn’t need the man to turn around for him to know who it was.
Technoblade met the man’s eye at the same moment the man noticed his presence.
“Technoblade,” Priest Jereth said with a sneer. “So this is where they’ve been keeping you.”
Technoblade gaped, not sure if he was having a really vivid nightmare or some kind of hallucination. He pored over Jerry’s face, sure that this was some kind of mistake.
Jerry had seen better days.
The entire right side of his face was…burned. Scorched. A big bleeding blister of blackened skin. His right eye was white and unseeing, but that didn’t stop his left eye from glaring viciously at Technoblade. Technoblade noticed great patches of hair missing, ripped from his head and leaving behind ragged flaps of skin oozing infection. Technoblade glanced away from Priest Jereth’s face and noticed the man’s left hand.
Or, lack thereof.
Bone stuck out from the end of a stump, cleanly cut. Intentionally cut. The ulna and the radius of the arm cracked at the end, but completely visible. The wound wasn’t new. It didn’t bleed. Technoblade could see evidence of cauterization as he stared.
“Your-” Technoblade’s voice cracked in shock. “Your Holiness.”
“Oh, don’t try to act devout now, you apostate scum, ” Jereth spat, limping closer to Technoblade. Technoblade eyed the sword in Priest Jereth’s right hand, held awkwardly. “We all saw how you paraded beside those filthy parasites. There is no talking your way out of this.”
“I had nothing to do with this,” Technoblade said flatly, keeping his eyes down and focusing on the sword. “I didn’t-”
He didn’t flinch when Priest Jereth kneeled down, getting right into Technoblade’s face.
“Your lies are meaningless. Look at this,” Priest Jereth scowled, glancing around the tent. “Living a life of luxury while all the people of Scywar suffer. I always knew that you were the mole giving information to Sir Wil, even before I knew he was Prince Wilbur. If only the High Priest had believed me, then we would have never lost this war.”
“The war was lost because you were all morons,” Technoblade said, impulsively. Chat cheering loudly in his ears. “You never once listened to reason about military strategies, lost in your own sense of importance. I didn’t do anything to cause this because you brought this on yourselves.”
“How dare you-”
Technoblade didn’t let him finish, striking fast. Technoblade rammed the scalpel under Priest Jereth’s chin, digging deep into the man’s throat. The man gurgled, stumbling back in surprise. Technoblade bent one leg under himself, ready to grab the sword as soon as it fell from the priest’s grip.
Without the guards or the royals in his way, he would be unstoppable with a sword. He would be free.
But Priest Jereth didn’t let go of the sword.
Priest Jereth didn’t fall.
A sickly green glow blossomed in Priest Jereth’s eyes, subtle at first before growing bright.
The scalpel in his throat began to move, slowly sliding out of his throat with a slow trickle of blood. With a slick sploosh, the scalpel fell from the man’s neck and onto the floor. Blood spurted in time with the man's heart, before it slowly stopped.
A sick grin widened on Priest Jereth’s face as Technoblade watched with horror from where he kneeled. The man’s eyes continued to glow, nearly brighter than the low lit lamps.
“That wasn’t very nice, Technoblade,” Priest Jereth said, a trickle of blood dripping from his lips. The man clumsily raised the sword. “That's fine. I will pay you back in kind. You have had this coming for a long time.”
Technoblade braced, waiting for the sword to fall. Ready to disarm the untrained priest and get as far away from this horror show as soon he could. A howl of pain from somewhere nearby signaled the Priest’s attack, the sword falling as Technoblade was already throwing himself out of the way-
A sword sliced through Priest Jereth from shoulder to hip, bisecting the man in a downpour of blood.
Technoblade stumbled to his feet as Priest Jereth fell, still screaming in agony as blood drenched the blankets and cushions surrounding them. Technoblade noticed the screaming of the other figures, each chopped to pieces but still howling in agony as death refused to claim them.
“Techno!” A voice shouted, and Technoblade looked over at the only other figure standing.
“Tommy?” Technoblade asked, taking a step closer. And yes, that might be Tommy. It was hard to tell when the teenager was positively drenched in blood, the sticky substance dripping from his blond hair. The Prince had a sword in his hand, held with much more skill that Priest Jereth had shown.
Tommy rushed forward, not dropping the sword as he gripped Technoblade’s wrist with his other hand.
“Are you alright?” Tommy sounded frantic.
“Uh, yep. Yeah, I’m fine,” Technoblade said. Chat was buzzing in his ears, trying to get his attention. “What the heck is happening?”
“I don’t fucking know!” Tommy said quickly, trying and failing to wipe blood from his face. “A bunch of the fucking prisoners got out and won’t fucking die! Fuck, Mumza is going to be right pissed when we- will you shut the fuck up? ”
The screaming remains of the prisoners stopped speaking, but it didn’t stop them from writhing in pain. Technoblade watched as Jereth used the stub of his arm to try and pull himself closer to the other half of his body.
The sudden silence made Chat all the louder. Technoblade grimaced, trying to listen to Tommy over Chat's determined shouts.
“I don’t know where the fuck Wil and Dad are, but Dad’s likely the only person that can make these bitches stay dead-”
Danger
Grab him
Move now!
You need to move
Duck
E
Get out of the way!
“-and then we gotta figure out what bastards are responsible for this being possible in the first place-”
Listen to us
He’s gonna die
Get down now!
It will kill Tommy
Duck!
“-And whoever it is is going to regret the day they were ever born, I’ll tell you that. Dadza is not going to let anyone disrespect Mum like-”
LISTEN
GRAB HIM NOW!
HURRY
HE’S GOING TO-
“-like, Dad is the ultimate Simp, these guys are-Ah!” Technoblade hooked a foot behind Tommy’s knee and pulled. Wrenching his wrist from Tommy’s grasp, Technoblade wrapped his arm around Tommy’s shoulder and used his weight to pull them both to the ground. “Technoblade, what the fuck are you doing? I have a sword, I could have-”
A high whistling woosh preceded a loud cracking noise. Part of the tent fell inward, the fabric touching Technoblade’s toes. A thump above his head had him looking up, arm still wrapped around Tommy.
Embedded in the cushions above him was a large black disk, the center glowing a bright sickly green. Technoblade stared as the green light pulsed rhythmically, like a heartbeat. Each pulse seemed to shake the air, waves of power pressing against his senses.
“What the fuck?” Tommy swore. Technoblade glanced down at Tommy, the vampire looking at the strange disk as well with wide eyes. Technoblade looked back at the disk, pushing himself up so he wasn’t lying on top of the Prince. Tommy followed suit, sitting up to get a better look at the strange disk.
It pulsed again, once more, and then the glowing green light faded. Leaving nothing more than the black disk behind.
Like puppets whose strings had been cut, the writhing prisoners around them stopped moving. Technoblade stared at them in shock, blood continuing to pour into the blankets and pillows.
“Seriously,” Technoblade looked back at Tommy, the bloody prince looking exasperated. “What the fuck?”
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AU in which Tommy meets a dragon.
(P1)
It is a very pleasent meeting.
"Shit." Tommy hissed, clutching his half skinned palm. The flames had been swift, as efficent at devouring his skin as water was to salt. The edges of what he lost still steamed, thick clouds of translucent gray warming the air around him. The dragon had been proped in such a way that portrayed a goal of murder.
And Tommy Innit was very anti murder. So, foolishly, very foolishly, he'd launched his body onto the beast, hitching a ride by digging his gloved fingers between two of the scales located high on its neck.
Dangling, gloves not durable enough to wistand the sharpness of dragon scales, he couldn't stay there long. He let go, wasting all the energy he'd spent launching himself into a unsustanable position and putting a bit too much weight on his knees when he hit the dirt.
Luckily it was rather soft, covered in wet greens, and puddles.
He had taken the time to look up at the enraged dragon, eyes meeting, and swear.
"Fuck you."
Then there was fire. Flickering, twisting, and dashing, reds, oranges, and yellows all aimed at him. Warm colors swarming him like vultures awaiting a corpse.
He managed to roll out of the inferno, but one of his hands trailed leaving him cursing and blinking back tears.
He was going to kill Ranboo for this.
That bitch had decided to back out of the PARTNER patrol, leaving Tommy barren of readily available meatsheilds.
"Bruh." And there it was, his first critical civilian who belived himself an-
Oh.
OH.
That voice, too lacking of anything, too recognizable to be anything but the voice of a top tier hero-
"Oh-Hey... Prometheus... just eliminating- this- invasive specisman that crossed the city limits."
"Heh? Apollo? My only ally?"
"Big P-
"Please don't call me that- Chat- NO."
"I wasn't going after him. No. I was chasing a fly about to bite him."
Apollo growled, but it seemed slightly hesitent.
"Yoo, thanks for that. I've been trying to get that bug for years."
Tommy gaped slightly, suprised by the genuine appreciation for a lie he crafted.
"All in a days work big man." Tommy promptly proceeded to run.
#dreamsmp#dsmp#tommyinnit#alternate universe#au#technoblade#superheores#dragons#dragon#apollodsmp#writing#attempt at humor#injury#fire#fanfic
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Get to know you better
got a tag from @dru-reblogs-stuff :3
Relationship Status: me and bf are v happy :3 we've actually talked about the concept of being married and planned 2 buy rings, we're both just sorta apprehensive about certain aspects of the institution
Favorite Color(s): uuuuh ill be real For Once abt this question: i like a Lot of colours lol. i dress in black almost exclusively at this point just bc i like it and its comfortable, so thats def a top pick. i am also very fond of deep greens, dark reds/maroons, burgundy, and dusty purples. in artwork, ive been very into bright and saturated colours lately, like gold and cyan
Favorite Food: this is like a rly difficult question lmao so im gonna list some general categories of food i guess? i really love seafood, and id probably put sushi rly high up on the list. also am very fond of super spicy food and soups/stews. i rly like greek, mexican, japanese, and chinese food also, as well as american food (i like eat a burjer)
Song Stuck in My Head: Pop/Stars by KDA, I KNO leave me aloooone
Last thing you Googled: lollll i searched "WoW ebyssian" because i named a flight rising dragon that, thinking i was being cool and original, when in fact i just forgot the wow character existed. oops
Time: 7:11 pm pst, i havent eaten dinner yet. oops. i will also take much longer to finish this lmao
Dream Trip: i dont have a singular dream trip so much as a desire to travel in general bc id be nice to go new places. i have never been outside of the usa, except for the occasions i was on sovereign tribe land contained within the usa. i would like to visit ireland, finland, japan, greece, and egypt :3 maybe australia also
Last Thing You Read: the king diamond abigail comic
Last Book You Enjoyed Reading: genuinely do not remember what i read previous to the abigail comic lmao
Favorite Thing to Cook/Bake: i rly like making spice bread and my cheesey chicken chili :3
Favorite Craft to do in Your Freetime: i used to do some physical crafts (like needle felting), but most of my free time is spent doing computer hobbies lately! i like 2 make digital art, pixel art, and starbound mods
Most Niche Dislike: honestly cannot rly come up with this one. i dont like citrus fruits except limes i guess. lemons in certain circumstances
Opinion on Circuses: fine as long as the animal cruelty parts are avoided lmao, but ive never actually been to one
Do You Have Any Sense of Direction: bruh i could not navigate myself out of a wet paper sack irl. ask me for directions in vivec city from morrowind tho and i can set u the fuck up
Tagging back: neh
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one of my oldest ocs, Lukas, got a glow up. First time i made him was on tektek, then when i first got into digital drawing i decided that the edgy emo kid thing wasnt for him (when i also realised i didnt had any black ocs u__u), and now he’s kinda reverted back to that same style as when i first made him, but he’s still a nice kid lol kinda ‘’I’m the main character. change my mind’’ vibes. I mean, i even gave him back his fairy companion!
#bruh green and red? what the fuck was i on back then the fuck#OH ALSO im not used to drawing black features so if i did something wrong plsss tell me ok i wanna improve and not be a dumbass thank you#like i usually dont even bother to draw lips but i did it here so idk if theyre looking good or if i accidentally caricatured#back to lukas im just really sad because i realised i still havent included him in any of my stories.... i need to remedy to that right#fucking now. maybe in mage?GAME? or at least an npc in my upcomming dnd game?? idkidkidk AHHHHH#lowkey he got too much main character vibes to only be a one time npc. he needs to be more important like an important lore developping side#quest?? MHHHHHH I'll find out eventually i guess#chile anyways#shut up kei#my art#my oc#lukas
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♡︎𝚁𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖 𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙼𝚒𝚌 𝙷𝙲𝚜 ( 𝚙𝚝. 3 )♡︎
A/N: Welp, I did another one of these! I believe this will be the last one ( with Present Mic at least ) since I can't think of anymore headcanons for him..
I hope you enjoy these- ( and if you have any headcanons you'd like to tell me, don't be shy and drop them in the ask box! Keep in mind I'll use them as reference! )
♡︎𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎: Read part one [ here! ] Read part two [ here! ] Read part four [ here! ]
♡︎♡︎♡︎
♡︎𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝: Random Present Mic headcanons ( part three!! )
♡︎𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐!! None, just funny crap-
♡︎♡︎♡︎
( ♡︎𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚞𝚝!♡︎ )
• Okay so for my first headcanon. I do remember saying in one of my posts, that he owns a motorcycle, well now I change my mind, instead he actually owns two!
• ^He has a regular motorcycle that he doesn't use, he just kinda has it for decoration, but the other one ( that he does use, mind you ) is one of those motorcycles with the long ass handlebars. ( He looks really funny when he's riding it )
• I dunno why, but I kinda feel like Present Mic is the type of guy that when he gets a sunburn, he's red as a fucking tomato the first day, but the next day he's completely normal. Mans can't even get a tan.. 😔
• Hardly ever gets sick, but when he does, he makes a huge fuss about it. He also hates taking medication ( at least if its pills, he'll drink any type of medicine, but he's tired of taking pills )
• Totally random but his fangs are a bit sharp- ( it's not like he has vampire teef ok? It's only a little bit- )
• This is not exactly a headcanon perse, but if Present Mic had an aesthetic, I think it would be either glitchcore or vaporwave. Idk, I think it suits him.
• Ooh ooh! I got one. He really likes flowers! He won't admit it, but his favorite are yellow petunias.
• DADMIC HC!! He totally plays dress up and has tea parties with Eri. Like this grown ass man will wear a pink frilly skirt, a tiara, some fairy wings and go to tea parties with Eri's stuffed animals.
• ( It's even funnier when Aizawa walks in on him doing that- )
• He's all like: "What on Earth are you doing?"
• And 'Zashi will respond with: "I'm havin' a tea party with Eri, duh!! What does it look like I'm doin'??"
• *Insert confused Aizawa*
• Okay now back to the headcanons-
• Alright so I know it's canon that Present Mic kinda has a thing against Jirou, especially after the whole bug incident. I wouldn't say he hates her but he doesn't exactly like her either ( it's stated in One's Justice 2, and for some reason he views himself as 'superior' that her. Like bruh he's so full of himself lmao ) anyway, so like I know he doesn't like her, but I like to think that despite him disliking Jirou a bit, he genuinely cares about her and thinks she'll be a great hero someday.
• Absolutely looks good in any green clothing ( you can't change my mind )
• And finally, this headcanon is kinda gross, but I think that he's a messy eater. Well at least sometimes, but it's still gross seeing this man with his face full of crumbs or pizza grease sjsjsj 😖
♡Bonus..♡
• I stated before that I headcanon that Present Mic in his teen years used to do a lot of graffiti. ( he probably owned a skateboard as well and would ride it to school like the rad little dude he was )
• And a totally random and stupid headcanon, but Present Mic owns a keytar and he knows how to play it very well. ( not a lot of people know he can play it btw, people just assume he's only good a being a DJ- )
A/N: Oof, so I got kinda lazy with these headcanons, but I did have a bit of fun while writing them!
I just wish I had more but I can't think of anything else, so I might just end the random Present Mic headcanons right here.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
°.♡┈┈∘*┈୨୧┈*∘┈┈♡.°
♡︎𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝♡︎
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𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚, 𝐛𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐢’𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐥𝐥 | h.c
navigation | requests : open | 10th feb 2021
pairing : midoriya, bakugou, todoroki x gn!reader [ separate ]
genre : fluffy cloud shit
warnings : being sick/vomit, food, eating, medicine
themes : overworking yourself, concerned friends, exhaustion,
request : hi hello i saw your requests are open as of feb 10. Can I request shouto, Midoria, Katsuki, and Sinshou’s reactions when seeing their s/o or crush come into class a day they are sick so they don’t miss a test and physical examination test? And as soon as their test is over their crush or s/o passes out from exhaustion but passes anyway—they got sick from preparing too hard and worrying about the exams to much? Thank you 💙
note : this got a little long and i got so’s sad and soft over bakugou HELP
[ midoriya ]
> baby boy is IMMEDIATELY researching ways to make you feel better
> you’ve probably been together for a while
> whether you were together or not he would’ve done anything to make you feel better simp
> as soon as you walk in he’s writing down your symptoms and glances at you so he knows you’re okay
> he’s not mad he’s just worried :((
> ‘you shouldn’t have come in today puppy’ crying hes so soft
> he has a whole plan for as soon as your lesson ends
> the plan probably consists of making sure you have a warm shower giving you ice packs and tissues when you need them
> he’s 100% the kind of boyfriend to pat your back and tell you you’re okay holding your hair back (if you have hair) while you’re throwing up your fuckING LUNGS
-> scenario
> you walk into class as usual but with a flushed face and you look a little grey
> you’re wearing a mask so you don’t get others sick but everyone can still see you’re ill
> you sat down as your friends asked you if you’re feeling okay, lying you sat down feeling overwhelmingly tired
> midoriya pats your arm so you look at him and asks what happened since last night you were in his dorm as usual until you went back to your room and you were okay
> ‘i think i woke up with it, i’m not sure but i’m okay’ you smiled holding back a yawn
> you weren’t really sure how you got sick you just stayed up most of the night studying, and the whole week before that
> ‘pup just please be careful i’ll take care of you after okay?’ you nod at your sweet simp boyfriend
> during the test he noticed you holding your head up with your elbow, surprisingly 2 hours went by pretty fast end he kept checking up on you after he finished a page
> as soon as aizawa told the class to put down their pens midoriya looked at you and was surprised to see you laying on your arm/elbow eyes shut
> it wasn’t too shocking for others since denki and sero were asleep too
> but he got worried and immediately jumped up to check on you
> ‘hey, hey y/n wake up pup’ he shook you a little as aizawa watched like ?? ‘midoriya are they okay?’
> ‘i’m not sure, they’re sick but they shouldn’t have passed out like this’ he replies as you stir in your sleep groaning he sighed in relief
> ‘i’ve seen y/n in the common room at around 4am every night studying, i wake up at that time by accident and they’re always there’ todoroki answered simply
> ‘midoriya take y/n back to the dorms so they can get some sleep please’ aizawa answered before collecting everyone’s tests
> not letting you walk he carries you back, ‘baby please don’t overwork yourself like that, i’m sure you did great and you would’ve done great without all that studying, i’m proud of you but your health matters more’
> before you could whisper a mumbled reply all might walked out from the staff room as you were heading back to the dorms
> ‘oh ! young y/n, young midoriya, are they okay?’ he said quickly as he saw you holding you
> ‘oh all might ! they’re sick so i’m taking them back to the dorms’ all might let you go back soon after laughing about young love
> as soon as you got back he didn’t let you get in bed, he turned on a hot shower and told you to shower while he made food and a hot drink for you, you walked into the bathroom taking off your mask
> before you could get in the shower you felt your mouth watering and you knew you were about to be sick, midoriya walked up to put a hoodie on your bed for you when he heard you groaning
> he opened the door to you vomiting in the toilet and quickly ran forward and moved your hair back ‘let it all out baby, it’s okay you’re doing great’ HES SO FUCKING CUTe he’s just rubbing small circles on your back
> soon afterwards you thanked him for being there which he replied with ‘i’ll always be here silly, now go shower’ while flushing a little red bye the pain
> as soon as you got out you changed into his hoodie which he left out for you and some shorts
> he doesn’t care that you’re sick he still wants to cuddle so you snuggle up into the sheets while he feeds you whatever food he made you constantly kissing your forehead since you refused to let him kiss your lips
> ‘wait.. izuku aren’t you meant to be back in class’
> ‘uhhh..’
[ bakugou ]
> angy blasty baby just got angrier
> if you’re ill he’d firstly scold you for not being careful
> as much as he cares about his health he doesn’t care when it come to you
> unlike midoriya when he helps you out with showers and food he does it subtly
> he checks on you a lot and makes you shower and eat, he makes you eat with him and makes you take medicine
> ‘dumbass you’ve gotta take your medicine’ he has an alarm on his phone for everytime you’ve got to take your medicine
> ‘take this’ *throws you bottle of water* he makes you finish at least 3-4 bottles a day because that’s the average
> he doesn’t do research because kinda knows how to handle this stuff
> the only thing he does research on is how to treat someone when they’re ill, as much as he acts like he doesn’t care he does a whole fucking lot
> hes a little less angy seeing you ill, you feel a little useless which he reassures you about
> midoriya is a carer wheres bakugou is a ‘get the fuck up’ kind of guy 😭😭😭 he makes you do things with him so you have something to keep you occupied
> unless you’re feeling and looking too ill to get up
> he brings you homework for when you aren’t in class and even does a couple questions writing notes around if you weren’t in class to see how it’s done bruh he’s so fucking cute:(
> for the days the class doesn’t order take out he’s usually cooking so he makes you help him out you wear a mask ofc, this kinds goes with the so you don’t feel useless thing
-> scenario
> you usually walk to class together but today you texted him telling him not to wait and you’ll be there soon because you thought he’d be less angry in the classroom
> boi u were wrong bless your soul says the atheist
> so you step in with your mask on fearing your life and you think for a second maybe you can just sit in your place and he won’t look
> lMAOO this man always notices you
> ‘what’s with the fuckin mask’ he walked in front of your desk while pinging the string of the mask
> ‘i’m ill’ you mumbled as he raised his eyebrow ‘you’re mumbling dumbass’
> before you could answer again aizawa walks in with the tests so he goes back to his seat with his eyebrow raised at you
> he keeps an eye on you, you don’t notice ofc bc he’s always discreet
> he has noticed you being very tired and a little out of it during the day but he didn’t think too much of it
> he watched you slump back in your chair
> you finished early so you decided to close your eyes for a second and as soon as he looks back your head is in your arms and he watches you as you slowly slump into your arms
> he could see you softly breathing, whenever you cuddled together he’d watch you until he fell asleep, moving your hair out of your face and smiling to himself
> his eyes softened seeing you so peaceful but also he got worried, your mask moved to the side a little as you slept and he could see how red your cheeks are and you look a little green
> he got a little surprised when you woke straight up your own eyes widening and you looked a little scared, you jumped up walking over to aizawa and asked him something which he couldn’t quite hear, he nodded before you ran outside
> bakugou had finished so he went to ask if he could check, ‘yes y/n is feeling sick so they went back to the dorms’
> he grabbed your bag and ran after you, he got a little worried seeing you with your hand over your mouth not knowing if you’re crying or not
> you walked into the dorms he got there a couple seconds later running up to your room
> as soon as he saw you in the bathroom hunched over the toilet he pulled back your hair (if you have hair), he massaged your head as you let everything out ‘dumbass you should’ve fuckin told me, i wouldn’t have let you do that stupid exam’
> as soon as you stopped throwing up you said ‘i know that’s why i didn’t say anything’ he only just saw you without your mask and noticed your exhausted expression
> ‘i know you’ve been studying more but how fucking much, teddybear you would’ve passed whether you studied that much or not for fuck sake’ he groaned as he turned on the shower for you grabbing you a towel throwing it to you
> ‘just to make you feel better i’ll sleep, okay mopey?’ you teased as he closed the bathroom door ‘shut up i’m not fuckin mopey!’ he yelled through the door
> as you showered he looked in your closet for clothes when he noticed some of his shirts and jumpers instead of being angry it made him a little proud seeing how much you liked his clothes
> he grabbed his skull shirt it was a little big on you which he loved
> as soon as you finished showering you changed into the clothes he left you and walked downstairs sitting on the counter and bakugou roamed around the kitchen
> he grabbed some medicine from the cupboard and if you hate the medicine he’d mix it with your tea coffee or hot chocolate, ‘alright the medicine is in this so drink it all’
> he noticed you pouting as he handed you the cup ‘why’re you fuckin looking at me like that’
> ‘you’re cute when you pretend not to care’ he groaned hearing this as you giggled and reached forward from the counter and grabbed his hands pulling him towards you, his arms landed around your waist as yours were around his neck, his head on your shoulder as you hunched down a little and you kissed his head
> ‘tch, fuckin drink it before it gets cold’ you couldn’t see this but he was red as fuck and he loved these moments even if he wouldn’t admit it
> he watched as you stared out the open windows drinking your medicine infused drink
> ‘katsuki?’ he quickly shook his head as he caught himself staring at you ‘what dumbass’
> ‘i love you’ you grinned holding your arms out again still sitting on the counter, he rolled his eyes walking forward pressing his head against your chest as you both sighed happily your legs around his torso your head resting on his head
> ‘i love you too teddybear’ he mumbled into your chest
> the moment was soon ruined by denki walking in yelling about how whipped bakugou is for you
[ todoroki ]
> he has no clue what he’s doing CluELESS BABIE😭😭
> of course he gets sick but he doesn’t know how to handle others being sick so he 100% goes to midoriya and his sister for help
> fuyumi makes him soup and soba to eat with you
> like midoriya he researches a lot about what to do and how to help
> since he’s already quite comfortable with you he gets a little pouty when you refuse to kiss him ‘but y/n i won’t get sick, i’ll make sure i don’t’
> please give this boy forehead kisses at least
> he used his hand to cool you down when you need it
-> scenario
> you walked to class with him as usual and he asked about the mask noticing your scratchy voice
> ‘im a little sick but i need to do this exam’ you replied making him hum back
> ‘have you taken medicine?’ you shook your head ‘y/n theres medicine in the cabinet downstairs, we can go back and get some aizawa sensei will understand’ he took your hand before you shook your head guiding him back to school
> ‘shoto it’s okay, i promise i’ll be okay i’ll get some medicine after the exam baby’ he nodded giving you a small smile
> he made sure to keep an eye on you throughout the exam
> you both finished the exam early, since you studied together a lot he always made you go sleep when he caught you studying late which was a lot more often recently
> he sometimes wakes up randomly at 4-5am same and checks your room to check if you’re safe you don’t really realise until you stay up for a couple nights in a row and he opens your door to you studying
> ‘y/n? what are you doing awake’ he scared you a little, ‘shoto hi i’m studying’ you smiled
> your late night talk usually ends when he whines at you ‘baby it’s late go to sleep’ if you refused he’d grab your books and put them in your bag and tuck you into your bed kissing you softly before going back to sleep himself
> usually those nights would end up in cuddling but the last couple nights you’d both been studying a lot
> anyway you had your head tilted to the side in your hand as your elbow propped you up
> he smiled at your sleepy state until he realised you were genuinely sleeping and since he hadn’t checked on you the last couple nights he got a little worried
> he looked around to see the usual people sleeping as well and you slid down your arm into an even deeper sleep breathing softly moving up a down a little
> ‘aizawa sensai? can i take y/n back to the dorms they’re sick and hasn’t had their medicine’ he explained
> ‘yes todoroki make sure they get sleep as well they look exhausted’
> the boy took both of your test papers handing them to aizawa before he grabbed your bag and picked you up slumping you over his shoulder as everyone cooed at the sight
> he layed you in his bed ‘y/n, love wake up’
> as soon as you woke up he told you to shower and got everything ready for you
> since he didn’t have enough time to go ask fuyumi for help he asked her to send him a recipe and he cooked soup for you making sure to leave a note telling you to come downstairs
> he left the note on top of his shirt and your shorts
> you trudged downstairs and sat down on the island watching him cook, ‘are you feeling better love’ you nodded a little smiling
> he took out some medicine from the cabinet with a little spoon pouring the right amount as the soup cooked behind him
> walking over to you he put the little bottle down moving the spoon to your mouth and grabbed a water bottle to wash the taste out, ‘open up’ you grimaced at the smell scrunching your nose up a little but did as he said
> he moved the spoon into your mouth, you closed your lips around it the taste of the medicine filling your mouth
> you quickly grabbed the water chugging it down as todoroki laughed, before he could say more you slapped your hand over your mouth and ran over to the nearest bin
> his eyes widened as he ran over to you steadying you holding your waist and hair back (agAIN IF YOU HAVE HAIR) he rubbed your stomach up and down ‘it’s okay get it out, you’re doing great’
> as soon as you drank some water you sat back up on the island ‘i think we need different medicine’ todoroki smiled as you nodded at him
> his hands landed on your thighs pulling you closer to him his legs between yours, your legs hung off the counter as he nudged his nose with your own, ‘i’m not kissing you’ you laugh as he pouts at you ‘one, just one i promise that’s it’ you shook your head kissing his cheek
> he pulled away and took some soup with a little spoon blowing on it before bringing it up to your lips and letting you taste it
> your eyes widened as you smiled ‘it tastes exactly like fuyumi’s’ you smile as he beamed at you
> as you ate, todoroki opened the door to the campus postman, he came back in and gave you some flowers and medicine
> you checked the card ‘fuyumi told me you weren’t feeling great, so i thought i’d send some homemade medicine, feel better soon my love - rei’ you showed shoto the card
> his smile got 10x wider reading it
> ‘you make me so happy, even when you feel like a zombie’ he smiled as he fed you the medicine
A/N :
BROOOOOO i got so fucking sad im so so so so so sad goodbye the pain i’m feeling today
jesus CHRIST
tag list : @blazedbakugou @todoroki-shoto-is-life @luluwiie
#mha x reader#bnha x reader#my hero headcanons#mha fluff#mha hcs#mha headcanons#todoroki x reader#bakugou x reader#midoriya x reader#todoroki fluff#bakugou fluff#midoriya fluff#katsuki fluff#mha bakugou#mha todoroki#mha midoriya#bakugou x gender neutral reader#todoroki x gn!reader#midoriya x gender neutral reader#mha#my hero academia#mha imagines#mha drabbles#bnha imagines#bnha drabbles#todoroki imagines#bakugou imagines#todoroki headcanons#todoroki comfort#bakugou comfort
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oh beloved writer can you please write a christmas date imagine for will poulter (even though it’s still summer) just pure fluff, where the reader and will go out to like a diner and then go buy a tree for their apartment (it’s their first christmas living together) and set it up and dance to christmas music and it’s super domestic and soft and fluffy thank you bff
Of course, my love! And hey, if Christmas in July can be a thing, so can Christmas in August. And oh boy, I made this one so sweet you might get cavities, so just, beware of that.
~~~~~~~~~~
You were excited, to put it lightly. This was the first Christmas you and you partner, Will, would be having while living together. You knew it was cheesy, but you wanted it to feel special.
You made reservations at this really fancy restaurant in the fanciest part of town. A bit over the top on your part, but you wanted to make this Christmas one to remember fondly.
You still haven't gotten a tree yet, so that was on your to-do list as well. You hoped there would be some nice trees to choose from.
Some people would've probably thought you were going mad with how much you wanted everything to be perfect, and yeah, you kind of were. But you completely ignored your logic and reasoning.
You bought a really nice outfit for yourself to wear to the restaurant, Christmassy but not too Christmassy, you weren't wearing reindeer antlers or red and green bells. It was simple, may or may not to somewhat match Will's outfit that he was going to wear.
With Will's hand in yours, you walked to your car and headed to the restaurant and got there a few minutes early, which was historical for you. You smiled along with Will as you entered the warm building, a pleasant contrast from the winter cold outside. "Hi! Reservation for L/n?" You asked bubbly, the evening already going so well that you were sure nothing could dampen your spirits.
It took a minute for the hostess to check, as the place was fairly busy due to the holidays. "Um, I'm sorry, I don't see your name here."
You immediately tensed, a half a second of anger bolting through you before you simply smiled understandingly. "Can you double check, please? I'm certain it's there, I called this in a week ago." You chuckled nervously.
"I'm sorry, but there is no reservation under L/n."
Your smiled dropped, your eye involuntarily twitching a couple times before your cleared your throat. "That...that can't be right."
Will turned to you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. It happens. We can just go somewhere else." He smiled softly. You frowned in response, turning back to the hostess with pleading eyes, only to get a tight lipped smile as another apology.
You hung your head for a second, before walking out of the building at a quick pace, dead silent as you sat back in your car. Will cautiously got into the car, anxiously anticipating your eventual release of your frustration.
"What the fuck?!" You yelled into your steering wheel, causing Will to jump at the sudden outburst, even when he was expecting it. "I booked that table a week ago! Will, you were right next to me when I called the place!" You pleaded to no one, feeling defeated and pissed off. "Ugh..." You drawled out, collapsing against your seat.
Will couldn't help but chuckle at your cute pouting face, reaching over to gently massage your thigh. "It's okay, darling! This is just a minor setback. I'm sure there are other places we can go."
Yes, there were other places you could go, none of them fancy restaurants. You felt even more defeated when you had to settle for some fast food place. This is absolutely not how you wanted this evening to go.
You stared down at your burger and fries with distain. "This should be an overpriced steak at an overpriced fancy restaurant with live music, arrogant chefs and overly nice waiters who wear really fancy suits and ties." You mumbled.
Will raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't sound quite as nice as being in an almost empty fast food place with no one to bother us. And I quite like my food, I haven't found a single hair in it, so it's practically 5-star."
You rolled your eyes as you chuckled at his silliness. "At least we still get to pick out a Christmas tree, that should be fun."
"Hopefully we won't get hypothermia out in this weather. So, what type of tree are you thinking we get?"
You smiled dreamily. "I've always wanted a full, thick Frasier fir."
"Ambitious. A Frasier fir it is."
It might've been a bit too ambitious, because when you got to one of the only places in town that sold Christmas trees, there were no such trees in sight. They had all been sold out apparently. No worry, there would probably be one at another place. Nope, none there. So, you drove to the last place in town and lo and behold, no thick firs in sight.
"I think the world's against me."
Will trapped you in a hug from behind as you stood dumbfounded at the selection of trees available. Some of them could give Charlie Brown's Christmas tree a run for its money.
"What about that one?" Will pointed towards the corner of the small field you two stood in.
You laughed when you finally saw what he was looking at. The tree was a fir, but it looked so bare that you could call it a Charlie Brown tree. "You can't be serious."
"I'm deadly serious." He smirked, letting you go to jog eagerly to the pitiful looking tree. You chuckled sadly as he held onto it, the thing wasn't even as tall as Will, and even skinnier. "Ain't it a beauty?" He said in a slightly Australian accent, almost cringing at himself.
No.
"I guess."
The look of pure childlike joy on Will's face, you couldn't deny him that stupid tree. It was so small, you could probably fit it in your car, but you didn't want to clean up all the needles it would shed. It fastened to the roof of your car easily, too easily.
By the time you had set it up in your living room with Will, the tree kind of grew on you; it was like an ugly dog, so ugly it was cute, you supposed. Once it had all the decorations on, it didn't look too bad, but it still wasn't what you hoped for. It seemed this whole day you planned out to the T, nothing went the way you wanted it to, and that was a bit disheartening. What annoyed you, surprisingly, was Will's overwhelming optimism. Usually, it was endearing, but today was not one of those days where you needed optimism.
"You okay, Y/n?" Will asked intuitively.
"It's just...this day went to shit. How can you be so...perfect?"
Will blushed at your phrasing, but he knew what you meant. "I was annoyed with certain things today, the restaurant issues, for sure. But, it wasn't enough to put me in a bad mood all day. I chose to let it go so that we could have a good time, that's all."
You frowned, suddenly feeling really guilty. "I was in such a bad mood all day." You huffed, taking a seat on your couch. "I ruined this whole day..."
"No!" Will rushed over to you. "I didn't mean it like that, I-"
"I know, but you're right. I shouldn't have acted like such a child. I'm sorry."
Will smiled sadly. "Darling, you certainly did not ruin anything. None of this was your fault and you behaved how any normal person would. But even after all that happened, I still had an amazing time. We had a nice, quiet dinner. And we got our own little Charlie Brown tree." He chuckled. "Didn't you have a nice time too?"
You smiled sheepishly. "I did."
"We don't have to go to the fanciest restaurant or buy the nicest Christmas tree to have a nice time together. We could've stayed inside all day and I wouldn't have cared, just being here with you is what makes me the happiest."
You couldn't help but lean forwards to kiss him, so incredibly grateful that he was in your life. "Well, I'd say our first Christmas will be one to remember."
"Oh, it's not over yet." He added, causing you to furrow your brows in curiosity. He only winked as he walked to the other side of the room, fiddling with the record player.
"No..." You groaned playfully as Last Christmas by Wham! echoed through your apartment.
Will nodded, a cheeky smile playing on his lips. "Oh yeah, come on." He held out his hand to you, motioning for you to take it. You giggled as he started to lip sync the lyrics, shimmying his shoulders as he still waiting for you to take his hand.
"Oh my god." You blushed, finally taking his hand and him instantly pulling you up and grabbing you by the waist to pull you into a hug, violently swaying to the music. "Will!" You laughed uncontrollably.
"What? You don't like my dance moves?" He grinned.
"You're gonna break me if you keep doing that." You grinned back.
Will shook his head, toning down the fast swaying and settled into a relaxing sway, looking into your eyes fondly. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
You blushed, resting your head and hiding your face on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat much better music than any Christmas song you've ever listened to.
~~~~~~~~~~
bruh...this...was so fluffy I almost died. I hope me almost dying of fluffiness was worth it to you, @poulterfilms
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hwang hyunjin + smut
requested; nope!
word count; 1.4k words
angel!hyunjin pulls you closer by the waist, your back flush against his bare chest. you hum lightly, still in daze after the long night of playing games and screaming around the house. he groans when the first rays of the sun hit his face and he brings the sheets further up, covering the two of you. smiling against your skin, he rubs soft circles with his thumb on your waist above the white shirt you had borrowed from him to sleep over at his place.
“hey,” he mumbles on your neck, hair tickling your back. “let’s do it,”
you chuckle softly; he was obviously joki—
“i’m not kidding, by the way,”
that was enough to wake you up fully, your previous tiredness fading away in a millisecond. your eyes snap wide open and you turn around with a shocked expression, only to look at him with his signature grin, eyes closed to form small crescents.
“a—are you serious?”
he hums, sending delicate vibrations down your spine. was this how he wanted to tell you that he wanted you to take his virginity? sure, you two had been talking about it for a while now and since you were experienced, you didn’t mind talking to him about it. but you didn’t know where all this sudden confidence was coming from.
“have you... thought this through? they’re gonna kick you out, baby,” you try convincing him, knowing full well it wasn’t going to work. however you didn’t want him to be banished from heaven so soon; he’d just gotten his wings a few months ago, and the skin around it hadn’t even healed yet.
“yeah y/n, i have,” he brings your hand in his, interlacing your fingers. you expected you would be the one comforting him, soothing him with his first time. but here you were, being calmed down by someone whose virginity (and home,) was going to be ripped away soon.
you turn around to face him and he doesn’t waste a second to meet his lips with yours, catching you by surprise. hyunjin adjusts your position, bringing you above him as he keeps his lips on yours. you suck on his bottom lip with the least pressure, making him exhale at the new sensation. his grip on your waist tightens when you move lower, bringing the pale skin of his shoulder between your teeth to lightly nibble on it, kissing it to soothe the sting.
you do the same on his chest, feeling on your stomach as he slowly gets harder under your touch. little whines spill out his pretty lips, and you can tell he’s trying so fucking hard to not buck his hips into you to relieve the pressure, but you don’t increase your pace one bit, wanting him to experience the best of him and you.
you lean back to palm the erection under his boxers, admiring the red litter of hickeys on his chest. he throws his head back into the pillows, eyes screwed shut as he lets out the most sinful noises you’ve heard from an angel. you grin down at him, increasing the pressure around his length. he whines again, muttering something between ‘go faster’ and ‘take it off, please’. you’re impatient too, swiftly bringing the fabric down to his thighs, carefully taking his length in your hand.
just the warmth and soft skin of your hands on him is enough to have him jolting, hips bucking into your hand in need of more friction. his lips still bring out the sweetest sounds, ones you can listen to all day, and you slowly rub your hands up and down his length. he whimpers at the sensitivity, and you curse under your breath as you watch him fall apart.
“fuck baby— one sec,” you remove your hands from him as he chokes out a pathetic cry. you move up to the bedside table and open the drawer, bringing out the small plastic bottle of lube. spilling a generous amount on your hands, you jump back onto the bed, motioning your hands once again up and down his length, this time the cold liquid coating his dick making it hard for him to hold back his loud moans.
you pump him slowly, clasping your hand tighter at the base every time. his mouth hangs open at the heavenly sensation (how ironic), a throaty moan leaving him each time you increase your pace a little.
you experiment further, bringing your thumb up to graze over his slit and he all but mewls, eyes filled with tears as he feels his orgasm dangerously close. you do it again and this time, his cries come out in stutters as he lets himself relax, falling off the peak as pleasure takes over him, thick spurts covering your hand and his abdomen. he’s breathing heavily, too heavily, and you’re waiting for him to relax, rubbing your hand over his. you take note of the large black patch on his left wing, as if it was about to burn to ashes any moment. you gulp, looking back up at him.
“you’re good?” you squeak out, smiling as he nods a quick ‘yes’. you lean over to kiss him, your thigh brushing over his length making him wince.
“still sensitive?”
“needed you, not that,” he replies, eyes cracking open to look at you with a grin.
hyunjin brings down his hand from your waist to your shorts, rubbing over your underwear. a whine leaves you this time, and you drop your head down as he pushes in harsher, not knowing what he’s doing, but knowing the effect he has on you. he pushes the fabrics aside, groaning when he feels your wetness on his fingers.
you lean back abruptly, making him move his fingers from you; but you replace them with yours, pushing in two fingers slowly but easily. he growls deeply when he looks down at your legs spread open for him, feeling himself get aroused once again when your fingers pump in and out of you at a rapid pace, moans pouring out of you. you pull your digits out of you instantly, positioning your hips just above him.
you take support on his abdomen, lowering yourself until you feel his tip in you. you curse at the same time, relaxing when he’s completely inside you, your walls clenching around him uncontrollably. you’re sitting that way for a moment, stopping to catch your breaths when hyunjin wriggles his hips, giving you the green light to move.
the lube you previously used on him made it easier for you to bring your hips up, stopping when he’s almost out of you, and then lowering back down, cursing deeply. hyunjin’s eyes roll to the back of his head, thrusting up into you subconsciously as he grips your hips harshly, nails digging into your skin. he moans aloud shamelessly, your mouth left open and brows furrowed as you bounce on his dick, his tip brushing every sensitive spot when he’s fully inside you.
you bring your hands down to your clit, pressing on it as you find your voice again, heaving deep breaths as you feel your high approaching. hyunjin swats your hand away, altering your fingers with his as he presses down on the nerves, his pressure somehow making you see thousands of stars with eyes closed.
“f—fuck hyunjin, i’m— shit,” you cry out, speeding your shallow, tired movements in a desperate attempt to reach your orgasm. hyunjin thrusts into you again and again, feeling your walls tighten around him as your high washes over you, spilling around him. he thrusts deeper inside you, coming for the second time that morning as his warmth fills you up.
you’re both breathing heavily as if you’ve just ran a mile, your head lying on his sweaty chest. you look at his right wing, almost entirely black except for the few feathers out of place. he takes one last deep breath before grunting, pulling out of you as he sighs in content.
you feel your juices seep out of you, feeling as if all the energy is getting sucked out of you bit by bit. you roll over to your side and off of hyunjin, looking up at the ceiling as the events of the late morning replay in your head.
“hyunjin,”
“hmm?” he hums, turning his head around to meet your eyes.
“y—your wings,” you sniffle, head and heart feeling heavy at the realization.
“baby, i don’t need the wings if i have you,”
—
a/n; FORGIVE ME FOR THE ENDING. I KNOW, I WANNA SLAP MYSELF TOO😔 also, new culture is to listen to ‘mixtape 5′ and ‘awkward silence’ while writing porn >:D
taglist; @joengni @cherryeol04 @lomlminho @bruh-changbin @yooniversalstudios @ann0325441904 @yourdaddychan (message me if you want to be added!)
#stayverse#stray kids#skz#stray kids smut#skz smut#hyunjin smut#skz hyunjin smut#stray kids hyunjin smut#hwang hyunjin smut#stray kids hyunjin#stray kids hwang hyunjin smut#skz hwang hyunjin smut#skz au#stray kids au#kpop smut#kpop imagines#smut#mia.moon
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Can u do the sunday morning walk of shame au drabble thingy.❤️❤️
“We met each other on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame” AU
“Too old for this shit,” Marshall mutters to himself as he gingerly crouches to retrieve his keys from where they’ve fallen to the floor of his car, careful not to exacerbate the soreness in his muscles.
He catches his reflection in his side view mirror when he rises to his feet, and winces anew at how awful he looks, rumpled and unshowered and sallow-skinned. He hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep, his brain keeping him up with obsessive playbacks of a hookup that had turned more than a little weird earlier in the night. The worst part is, he can’t blame anyone but himself for it. He had opened the lid on some of his most closely guarded kinks, deciding for some reason that that was a thing he wanted to do with a random call boy about five times bigger than him and a decade his junior.
Marshall shoves away the utterly humiliating scenes that try to creep back into his consciousness and slams an iron door over them, shuddering with the mental effort it takes.
Focus, asshole.
Keys in hand, Marshall locks his car and ensures the brim of his hat and the hood pulled over that are firmly in place before slinking into the convenience store, empty but for the clearly sleep-deprived cashier and someone else perusing the assortment of Hostess snacks.
Marshall keeps his head down and moves quickly, snagging two Red Bulls and a bag of plain pretzels. He’s furiously debating between Cool Ranch Doritos and a Slim Jim, because god damn it he needs a not-depressing snack right now, when someone jostles him, immediately putting Marshall’s body on high alert.
His heart races and his hand goes to his phone in his back pocket as the guy says, “My bad, man,” in a voice that sounds worse than Marshall feels.
Marshall doesn’t respond, and doesn’t look at him, backing up to put a safe distance between them and turning to resume his miserable shopping.
“Hold up,” the guy says, like a realization is dawning on him, which… “Eminem?!"
Fuck.
Marshall whirls around and shushes him aggressively, his temper flaring. “Be cool. What you want, an autograph? If you have a pen on you, I can - ”
“Bruh,” the guy says, and at least he’s lowered his voice so as not to ping the drowsy cashier’s radar, “You don’t even fuckin’ recognize me, do you.” Marshall glances up into his face for the first time, blinking. And…
“Oh.”
“Oh? That’s all you have to say to me? Wow. Nice, dude.” Machine Gun Kelly curls his lip, awe giving way to pure scorn like he’s stepping into a well-worn costume, which isn’t even as ugly as the literal costume he’s wearing - a painfully bright neon green sweater with a transparent panel in the front that exposes a slice of his tattooed chest, ludicrously oversized jeans that appear to be covered in black paint splatters, chunky silver hoop earrings just large enough to be considered effeminate.
“You’re blocking the chips,” Marshall says, keeping his voice perfectly and infuriatingly level.
Kelly’s glare grows even fiercer, somehow. “Fine, whatever. I’m too hungover to fight your old ass anyway.”
Marshall takes a deep breath through his nose. “You don’t wanna antagonize me right now, trust me.”
“Ha, sure. You pissed yourself when I touched you just now, but sure. I’m super threatened.”
Don’t explode don’t explode don’t explode don’t explode
“Fuck you, have a nice day,” Marshall manages, gritting his teeth and starting to take his Red Bulls and his depressing pretzels over to the cashier, not even caring to resolve his Doritos vs Slim Jim dilemma anymore.
“Wait, wait,” Kelly blurts, sidling up to block his path once more, big palms open in front of him in apparent surrender. “I’m sorry,” he says, stunning Marshall into stillness. “I had a rough night. Like, a really rough night. But I’ve put so much thought into what I’d say to you if we ever ran into each other like this - which by the way, what the fuck are the odds - and I don’t wanna fuck it up just ‘cause I feel like ass.”
Marshall stares at him for a moment, and then, when he doesn’t elaborate, says, “Well? I don’t got all day.”
Kelly grimaces, and Marshall wonders if he’s already regretting apologizing. “Just, like - I need a minute, alright, my brain ain’t all there.”
“You can’t blame that on the hangover,” Marshall snarks, “It’s the first thing I ever learned about you.”
Unexpectedly, Kelly looks more tired than angry at this comment. “Fuck, man, I’m tryin’ here.” He scrubs a hand over his face, drawing Marshall’s attention to his red-rimmed eyes, to the fresh bruise blooming on his left cheek and the specks of dried blood caught in his wildly tangled hair.
Something catches in the center of Marshall’s chest, and because he’s weak and exhausted and really fucking stupid, he says, “C’mon. We can talk in my car. I’m not tryna hang around here long enough for some other asshole to recognize me.”
Kelly shrinks a bit, fidgeting and casting his eyes around the store skittishly when he says, “Um. A’ight.”
“You’re not gettin’ anything?”
“Nah,” Kelly says, “I’ll just wait for you.”
Marshall buys him a packet of Sour Patch Kids from the checkout counter anyway, and when he quietly hands them to him as they’re walking through the gas station to Marshall’s car, Kelly gives him this look that’s as wide-eyed and grateful as if he saved his fucking life, or something equally significant. It makes electricity shoot up Marshall’s spine, and he instantly thinks, No. Anybody but him.
And yet, he is folded into the passenger seat of Marshall’s car, and he has sugar crystals on his fingertips and the corner of his mouth, and he is confessing dangerous truths as freely as blood pouring from an open wound, and Marshall is maybe kind of fucked.
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SO
at behest of @wardingwatson-fr [bruh im sorry it wouldn't let me tag u in any other blog except that one??]
my analysis of the crimson as parasitic flora. this got. so long. so i'm putting it All under the cut
it's 10.30 pm and i'm exhausted so i might come back to this tomorrow and add stuff that i missed lmao, enjoy this absolute incoherency
[update: there is a pt. 2 w/light analysis on its relationship to skeppy, the eggpire, and the red banquet!]
firstly: i will say, i briefly considered this a commensalism or even a mutualism relationship, but, as we see: commensalism is a relationship where one party benefits and another is largely and substantially unaffected. that... doesn't sound like the eggpire, honestly; and the eggpire, though they are promised their dreams, don't actually benefit from this relationship, ruling out mutualism. @/cryptvokeeper actually put this really nicely and succintly: it's a parasite under the veil of mutualism, but we'll get there in a bit.
this leaves parasitism. one party- in this case, the crimson- benefits from the relationship, while the other party largely suffers, or is inconvenienced. in this case- everybody who comes into contact with the crimson is severely inconvenienced. relationships are strained or snapped, people dedicate more and more time and resources to it, sometimes at cost of their own downtime or furthering their own goals because the crimson's so thoroughly convinced them that its goals should be their goals.
i briefly considered the crimson being a parasitic fungus [eg. cordyceps, please be warned that if you look that up, it... is not v pretty] because of how aggressively the eggpire changed their actions to benefit the crimson once getting infected, but from what i read, parasitic fungus tend to kill their host after getting all their nutrients from it, and thus far, nobody in the eggpire has actually died. please note, i'm still researching into whether or not the crimson would fit into parasitic fauna, lmao
so that,, left me with parasitic flora.
originally, i went down this rabbit hole because i thought hey, what if that's not an egg? what if it's a bud? and then kept researching, and went oh fuck.
[yes, i would recommend looking up a rafflesia arnoldii/stinking corpse lily bud and comparing it to the egg haha]
so parasitic flora: there tend to be three categories if you look it up, and i'll summarize it.
you can have obligate parasites which depend on a host to live, or you can have facultative, which aren't as reliant on a host. hemiparasites and holoparasites are also somewhat similar- holoparasites cannot photosynthesize and are entirely reliant upon the host plant for every nutrient [and lack chlorophyll, meaning they won't appear green!] while hemiparasites are again, somewhat more independent.
and finally, stem and root parasites- differentiated mostly by where they attach to, but also in that stem parasites can survive on their own after they germinate for a bit, while root parasites need to germinate next to a host or they Mcfuckin Die
so based on all of these definitions: i argue that the crimson would be an obligate holoparasite that resembles a stem parasite more but. obviously that definition doesn't particularly hold up because this thing isn't parasitizing plants, it's parasitizing people and gets its nutrients from meat [yes, i looked into defining this thing as a carnivorous plant, if it is, it's not gonna fit nicely under the current trapping mechanisms in place so we're just. saving it as a parasitic flora]
now! with this established, i went. hey. let's look up parasitic flora to draw similarities. and i found,,, this. rafflesia arnoldii. y'all might know this as the stinking corpse lily, known for a. being the largest flower on earth, and b. producing an incredibly unpleasant scent of rotting meat.
yes, it's a parasite! obligate holoparasite, in fact. lives off of vines [which are technically their own form of parasite, is this considered hyperparasitism???]
now, notable descriptions about it. [thank u, wikipedia]
"Although Rafflesia is a vascular plant, it lacks any observable leaves, stems or even roots, and does not have chlorophyll.
okay, checks out, that thing is redder than blood.
It lives as a holoparasite on vines of the genus Tetrastigma. Similar to fungi, individuals grow as a mass of thread-like strands of tissue completely embedded within and in intimate contact with surrounding host cells from which nutrients and water are obtained."
,,,[turns to stare directly at the blood vines, embedded everywhere in the server. stares at the fact that the "egg" itself is not typically visible, just the vines everywhere.]
interesting parallels.
now, one last thing to note about this now that i've thoroughly exhausted the subject and my last braincell.
When Rafflesia is ready to reproduce, a tiny bud forms outside the root or stem of its host and develops over a period of a year. The cabbage-like head that develops eventually opens to reveal the flower.
so either: that egg is like... the way the crimson germinates, and rapidly attempts to find a host to parasitize. or that egg is a bud, indicating that it's ready to reproduce.
indicating that we, very possibly, might see it bloom at the Red Banquet.
#dream smp#character analysis#the crimson#the eggpire#analysis tag#holy god this got long i hope yall enjoy#feel free to send me asks abt it!!! i love learning and delving down these rabbit holes
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Major Movie Spoilers
So I just finished the movie that ends the Trollhunters series aka Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans. Holy moly wow this movie. The only good thing it had going for it was animation and getting to see the favs I’d grown emotionally attached to. Writing however? Bruh... So the original Tales of Arcadia series is good, but it has this problem of just being PLOT PLOT PLOT, that barely anything else gets squeezed in. You feel like you’re on a rollercoaster ride of exposition because everything hits hard, hits fast, and the moment you think “wow we can finally settle down a bit and idk... introduce some CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT” the latest fucking problem launches into you like a bowling ball shot through a window and then you’re back to the PLOT PLOT PLOT routine.
Rise of the Titans takes that formula of PLOT PLOT PLOT, multiplies it x20, and THEN fills said plot with SEVERAL MAJOR inconsistencies. And no I’m not talking angry, over-dramatic, nerd rant inconsistencies like Argh’s fur accidentally being red instead of green for one scene. (note this doesn’t actually happen) I’m talking inconsistencies that break the entire fucking movie.
Why did Jim burn his hand with the horngazel when Toby is standing right there with gloves on to pick up the hot thing? Why did Claire need a horngazel to leave when Jim is literally in the outside world as an emotional anchor? Why did Dragon Cat and Dragon Dad assume they’re trapped in Asian Trollmarket forever when Claire can literally use them as an emotional anchor for her shadow magic?
And before yall say “But you need a horngazel to leave/get in Trollmarket” no you don’t. Claire literally portal’d her friends and a shiton of trolls out of Trollmarket and into the human world. Again, that was a literal major plot point that the movie ignores. All you needed was an anchor; and speaking of Claire anchors, what happened to Notenrique!? Where are all the liberated babies??? Why did Toby claim he never climbed a rope for gym class as some kind of major movie plot point when he’s literally done that in previous episodes of Trollhunters? Why did Jim ask Stuart, a guy I haven’t seen Jim interact with once, to fix the amulet when Krel is the one who BUILT IT and is the alien super genius of the team?? Like what did they need him there or something? He didn’t do shit. What could he have done??? AND IF THEY HAD A FUCKING MAGIC TURN OFF MACHINE WHY THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DID THEY JUST ATTEMPT IT ONCE AND THEN LIKE NEVER AGAIN UNTIL THE VERY END OF THE MOVIE!?
Literally all of this for nothing. I don’t even KNOW what Nomura was attempting to accomplish besides dying pointlessly, Strickler as well if I’m being real. Like the Titan wasn’t even attacking the castle, it still had several thousand miles to go before reaching it’s destination. It was literally just slowly fucking walking away and Strickler is like, welp time to suicide bomb. Clearly didn’t have to time to think about or do something better.
Bruh, and Toby, oh my god poor Toby. After all the shit he has done, this movie made him a joke. The railcar brake scene? That shit hurt it was so bad how lame they made Toby from the very beginning of the movie to the point of being excited over finding a dirty penny on the fucking ground. I hate this shit man. And the dying pointlessly thing? A 3rd pointless death but this time it’s because “Toby did something right for once in an explosion of bravery and valor” or some bullshit like that. He could’ve literally just asked his friends to help with his plan of DUH USE THE FUCKING MAGIC TURN OFF MACHINE and like no one would’ve died.
And like I’ve shat on Tales of Arcadia/Trollhunters writing for this entire post, but I REALLY NEED TO POINT OUT, that I KNEW BEFORE EVEN WIZARDS HIT THE RELEASE DATE back in 2019, that time travel was gonna be the end all solution that fixed everything. I fucking knew that shit was gonna happen. I went into this movie COMPLETELY BLIND outside the first trailer knowing that shit was gonna happen. I’m not even disappointed because I didn’t care. What? You think I’m expecting to be surprised by good writing at this point? No. I was BANKING on them doing something so predictable for one and ONLY one reason. Because that means MY BOY DRAAL CAN COME BACK! And when they’re going over the time travel plans and Blinky goes “Yeah you can go back in time and bring back all of our friends”, while he lists all the loved ones that died, he doesn’t even fucking MENTION Draal. I’m so done with this movie bro.
The only saving grace this movie has is the ending of what if better writing, you get to see your favs again that died, oh and Toby ( a chubby character) is no longer the butt of fatphobic jokes, but actually the protagonist of the series and Trollhunter now. I mean we’re not actually going to do any of that because the series is ending forever, but what if right? Maybe if you really hype this series and give us more money/ratings we will. (we won’t)
The way this movie comes off is as if the writers wanted to make it a certain way, but the producers were like “No do it THIS way” even though their way made no fucking sense and the writers were like “Fine!” and then they slapped this shit together and barely bothered even trying to fix the inconsistencies the producers had created with their poor decisions cuz they knew everyone was closing shop anyways and the series was ending. Ultimately the writing for this movie felt rushed, choppy, and just plain bad and no amount of absolute steller animation can fix that surprisingly even when the ENTIRE MOVIE is stellar animation. So thanks Rise of the Titans for proving that point.
#trollhunters#trollhunters rise of the titans#tales of arcadia#spoilers#trollhunters spoilers#tales of arcadia spoilers#long post#oh boy what a mess#rant
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Daminette December Day 7
@daminette-december2019-2020
((Note: If you’re a confused little muffin who saw our ship in the top 100 list and you want to know what in the ever loving fuck we are, feel free to dm me or mention me in a post or even to send an ask. do be warned tho that if u send me hate i will block and report u (and not just to tumblr, to everyone I know who is part of this fandom). our little sub fandom is not a toxic space and no one is allowed to make it one or there will be a fucking war))
And we’re back to our anxiety induced in denial Damian. I love this kid. Tho I do wanna make him slightly more… how do I say this… like cold? I dunno maybe I can bring that in with other people and his interactions. I just wanna write him with his proper grammar and what not and like lbh this boi is already a simp for Mari. But I don’t wanna let things happen too quickly, y’know?
Anyway, maybe I should make the theme of this chapter the fact that he has absolutely no chill. Lmao, I think that’s hilarious ngl. Also I’m just gonna pretend certain things existed back then for the sake of my sanity I can’t keep coming up with words that make sense for explaining what a thing is without saying the actual word because it didn’t exist yet. The hologram in that one chapter was hard enough bruh
Ok here we go, thanks for reading! I hope u enjoy it
Princes and Pedestals
Chapter 7 – Chill
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Damian rolled the ring between his fingers as the morning light filtered through his windows. She’d put the choice in his hands, it was a kind thing to do, smart too. It made sense, if this role was as important as she made it sound it needed someone who could commit to it.
The miraculous was the kind of black that seemed to stretch on forever. It had a bright green paw print on it. He hadn’t put it on yet but from what he could gather it’s kwami would appear as soon as he put it on.
He'd be one of the leaders of an entire Order. He had no idea how big it was. His mother had raised him to lead but that was an entirely different organization. How would Marinette react to that? Could he handle the responsibility?
These thoughts had been plaguing him from the moment he picked up the ring.
But that wasn’t what got to him the most. She was just so… good. She had even agreed to move her entire court to Gotham for his sake. To uproot her entire life and move everyone involved just so that he could stay with his family.
There had to be a catch.
There always is.
He sighed, overthinking everything wasn’t going to help him make this decision.
There was only one thing he could do.
He put on the ring and a bright light caught him off guard. A small floating cat like being appeared in front of him.
“Kid?” he kept his eyes closed as though he didn’t want to see who was in front of him, his voice breaking slightly.
Slowly, the kwami – Plagg if he remembered correctly - opened his eyes. Damian stared at him as disappointment flitted across the creature’s face.
He lifted his brow and asked, “Hope to see someone else, Plagg?”
He chuckled slightly, sadness lacing the sound, “My previous holder, thought maybe I'd get the chance to say goodbye this time,”
Damian frowned, “What do you mean?”
Plagg frowned, “You don’t know about my previous holder? Who gave you my miraculous?”
“Marinette did,” he said, simply, “She actually just gave me the chance to consider the offer of the position, I have the rest of the day to get to know you and make my decision,”
Plagg seemed to consider what he said, he then sat down on the bed in front of Damian. He explained the basics of the miraculous to him, the phrases he needed to use as well as what those phrases would do. The things he’d need as well as what behaviors he might pick up.
“Purring?” Damian said in a disbelieving voice, “You’re telling me I might start purring in my civilian form?”
Plagg cackled, “Yeah, don’t worry it’s not that bad,”
“Tt, what exactly is the purpose of it? In fact what exactly is my purpose? It seems like she has the leadership thing under control,”
Plagg seemed to sober up at the question, he flew up right in front of Damian’s face and looked him in the eyes, “Her job is to lead and look after her court,” his look sharpened and he narrowed his eyes, “Your job is to look after her, your job is to protect her, your job is to see her. Your purpose is to make hers as easy as possible. Don’t get me wrong, you’ll have other official responsibilities and you will rule alongside her, but your real job? Your purpose? You have to help her remember that she’s only human and that that’s okay,”
Damian stared at Plagg, the kwami stared back. It couldn’t be that simple, could it? There had to be something. Some kind of catch.
Before he could grill the kwami, Dick burst into his room.
Damian could see his brother’s clear panic and immediately stood. Dick’s eyes found his, “She’s gone,”
Damian felt himself spiral, memories flew through his mind. All the times he or any of his siblings had been taken. Cass didn’t speak for a month after the last incident. Jason’s “secret" panic attacks had increased tremendously. Tim stayed up for nights on end, only sleeping when he passed out. Damian sparred for hours and hours, hating the feeling of being useless.
His father and Dick weren’t in Gotham at the time and Selina was helping Harley with one of her ‘projects’.
When they got Steph back after a week, she was so shook up that she kept waking up screaming from nightmares for months.
They all blamed themselves.
“Her kwami showed us a letter she left but someone could’ve faked it to buy time, they’re searching the village,” Jason said, coming into his room, holding a piece of parchment.
Damian barely registered the way Plagg seemed to study his reactions. They needed to find her, it was already afternoon, who knows how far gone she could be?
They spent hours scouring the castle. Before he knew it the moon was rising and they were all gathered in the living room, going over possibilities.
“I’m going to go get Alfred and Bruce, this has been going on long enough, it’s time to call in back up. It’s already passed nightfall and she’s not back yet,” Dick walked out of the room, barely two seconds passed before he shouted something to them, “Guys I found her!”
They were out quicker than a lightning bolt. He ignored his siblings as they all flocked around her. He took her in.
She was wearing a cloak, which Jason quickly took and gave to a passing maid. She wore one of her black dresses. Her hair was in a braid.
But the cloak was dirty, the dress had tears and the braid was messy.
But it was her eyes that got him. The blue irises looked like someone had taken every drop of sadness in the world and left it in them. They were red rimmed and puffy and there were black bags under them.
She’d been crying and she hadn’t slept. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out.
Somewhere along the line, they moved back into the living room. Cass was sitting next to Marinette on the couch and the others were arguing.
Damian couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was here. She was safe. She wasn’t taken.
Cass tapped his arm, he turned to look at her and she started signing. (a/n ok yeah I know that sign language might not have existed but do I really care?)
Get her out of here, she’s tired, Cass signed.
Damian nodded and after asking her permission and scolding his siblings, he escorted her to her room.
Plagg whispered something to her that he couldn’t hear.
Then she apologized for scaring him and he explained his thought process. She explained that he would’ve been able to know via their miraculous whether she was in trouble or not. He made a mental note to ask Plagg more about that.
When they got to her room he opened her door. She was about to go in but he grabbed her hand, stopping her. She looked at him expectantly. He searched her gaze, he had so much he wanted to ask her, why she’d been crying was at the top of that list.
But she looked so tired, and Damian just couldn’t get himself to form the words. Instead he bid her goodnight and went back to the living room where his siblings were waiting.
All eyes turned to him when he entered. He didn’t know what to say. Instead of thinking his words through he blurted out the first thing he thought.
“She didn’t flinch when our eyes met,” he said. They all stared at him for a few seconds. Usually they would’ve laughed at his bluntness, Damian is certain, but there was something about the haunted look on her face that sapped all humor out of the situation.
Jason was crouched in front of the fire. Stephanie sat on one of the chairs while Dick leaned against its armrest. Damian was next to Cassandra on the couch and the five of them sat in silence.
Millions of questions danced through the air, the answers all just out of reach.
Little did they know that they weren’t the only ones with questions.
Outside, three pairs of eyes were watching the oblivious siblings closely.
Damian felt a chill go down his spine and turned towards the window. He walked over and stared out into the forest, he didn’t see anyone but the uneasy feeling wouldn’t leave him.
He closed the curtains.
The smallest of the three chuckled slightly, “She got herself a paranoid one, huh?”
“We need to head back,” the only guy out of the three said to the others.
They nodded and followed him deeper into the forest.
Taglist:
@animegirlweeb @loysydark @toodaloo-kangaroo @forgottenfriends @wolf-for-life @heyitsbugette @f-rget-lt @fusser90
#daminette december#daminette#utp writes#well would u look at that#me actually following a prompt pretty well#it's gonna snow in Egypt#does it snow in Egypt? i dunno man#anyway here's protective batsiblings again#sad plagg my poor baby#Damian's pov after basically ignoring him for a chapter#Bruce and Alfred weren't involved because plot#also antagonist?? do we smell a bad guy?? or am i a troll?? i guess we'll find out later because even I don't know lmao#mari was just chilling in a field and they all freaked tf out. can't say i blame em thoo#maribat#marinette x damian#marinette dupain cheng#damian wayne#medieval au#are my chapter lengths inconsistent and completely random depending on my mood and amount of inspiration? yes definitely#batman#mlb#mlb crossover#dc x miraculous#dc x mlb#Jason gets panic attacks but he tries to hide it fight me#also anyone else worried about how mari will interact with the fam she hasn't met yet? cus i am ngl still gotta figure that whole parade ou#thanks for reading#hope yall enjoyed~#also I just saw maribat made the top 100 lmao confusing the everloving fuck out of people is my jam#i hope we don't get hate we've been a pretty non-toxic fandom up until this point like srsly man we're nice don't hate us
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