tyoungtea

[ladyloveandjustice]

So I have no stake in ships in Avatar the Last Airbender, I do not have any real ships for the show. But when I was looking in Katara's tag for art and stuff, I saw this reoccuring claim that Katara always supported Aang with his problems and feelings, but that Aang never supported her back with hers.

And I don't care about the ships, but I do really like the friendships in Avatar, and that bothers me. It's a slight on Aang, but also on Katara (implying she wouldn't stand up for herself and break it off if a friend was all take and no give, which doesn't fit her personality at all.)

Aang does support Katara whenever he gets the chance, which is unfortunately few and far between because Katara seems to have a hard time leaning on the people she cares about and talking in depth about her own trauma and feelings about it, though she will do so when she literally doesn't care what the person thinks about her (and both times she opened up to Zuko about her Mom initially were her lashing out at him and not caring what he thought about her in return).

This would be something that would need to be addressed for a romantic relationship between them to truly work, and I imagine it would be part of the journey of finding a way to stay together, but it's very much not Aang's fault. And as I said, when he gets a chance to support her she does. Since I just recently rewatched most of the series, have a list of those times!

-His first time being supportive of her is literally a half hour after they first meet. As soon as she tells him about wanting more waterbending experience, he enthusiastically offers to fly all the way to the north pole so they can find her a master. And this very clearly means a lot to her.

-I don't think Aang knew how supportive of her he was being here, but there's the "I haven't done this since I was a kid" "You still are a kid!' exchange. As much as people accuse Aang of seeing Katara as his Mom (he's literally the one character who doesn't express that he does in The Runaway btw and I think that's for a reason) their first interaction establishes that he sees her as a kid, just like him, and think she should have fun like a kid does. This must have been huge for Katara, who'd been forced to take on adult responsibilities at a young age, who resented having to hold the family together, who thought her childhood was over. Aang helped her have fun and be the kid she is, and he'll continue to do so.

-When she lost her mother's necklace (And Zuko subsequently stole it) he was very concerned for her feelings and seemed to immediately understand the weight of that loss, due to his own experiences with loss. Not only did he make her a new necklace to wear as a way to comfort her, as soon as he saw Zuko had it he said "you're giving that back to me" and risked being hit by Zuko in his attempts to grab it. Then he gave it back to her and she was ecstatic!

-He was so supportive of her during the waterbending scroll episode it's actually ridiculous, despite how she lashed out at him. It's unclear if he actually understood she was upset or if this was just his unwavering respect for her coming out, but when she was upset that he learned the first move faster than her he said "well you didn't have such a great teacher!" and it clearly makes her feel better for a bit. He immediately forgives her for lashing out at him, doesn't judge her at all for stealing the waterbending scroll, or for accidentally dragging them into trouble. He, in fact, goes out of the way to reassure her, looking happy at the chance to work together and reminding her they need two waterbenders. And he appreciates her joke at the end (he's just straight up being simp (affectionate) there, and I get it).

-When Pakku won't teach her he immediately denounces him as wrong and unfair and is willing to sacrifice his own education (which he needs to save the world) because he won't stand for it. He remains upset about it even after Katara persuades him, tries to secretly show her what Pakku taught him, and cheers her on when she fights him.

-When she's crying over Jet's death, he's the first one to notice and reach out to her, putting his hand gently on her shoulder and drawing her into a hug (that becomes a group hug). She smiles and clearly feels comforted. They probably talked about it offscreen too (but this cannot be shown as they would need to directly acknowledge his death to do so)

-He's pretty much always praising her as a teacher, and when she grumbles about him not calling her Sifu, he goes out of his way to call her that.

-He notices that she's mad at her Dad and asks her about it, but she deflects

-He looks really sad when he has to remind her she has to take off her mother's necklace for their Fire Nation disguises, again it's something he very much seems to empathize with her about, he understands the weight of what it means to her.

-He not only doesn't judge her for lying during the Painted Lady saga, but praises her and enthusiastically helps her commit ecoterrorism.

-Both he and Sokka move to comfort her when she's crying after the bloodbending fiasco. Most of the comforting of her happens offscreen, which I do think is a shame, and a contrast to how Aang is handled- but it's more of a "he's the main character" thing, since the same happens for Sokka as well (I'm sure Katara and Aang talked to him about Yue's death and at least tried to comfort him, but we don't get to see that).

-He was trying to support her during the Southern Raiders ep, whether you believe he did it well or not, both according to his beliefs and cultural values and by trying to emulate the ways she's talked HIM down from revenge and hatred in the past. He specifically brings up those two incidents- losing his people and losing Appa- where she stepped in to keep him from losing himself to rage. As this post notes, he also specifically echoes her phrasing from when she was urging him not to lose himself to the Avatar state (she says "watching you be in that much rage and pain is really scary" and he echoes "you're feeling unbelievable pain and rage" while talking to her in this ep.)

It's not just the air nomads he's trying to emulate here, but her. Just like Katara doesn't want to see him consumed by hatred and pain, he wants the same for her. His concern is not for her mother's killer, but for her, he fears this will hurt her, just like her concern was always for him and how this would hurt him in those times he was raging.

He wants to do for her what she did for him. But, Katara is not him. She is not someone who will be talked down by someone else when she is grieving, angry, and looking for revenge. Nobody can stop her when she sets her mind to it. She needs to wrestle with whether to kill him and she needs to come to her own conclusions, because she's the only one that can stop her. And Aang realizes that. He says it's a journey she'll have to take on her own, that she needs to face him doesn't stand in her way.

(I wonder if it kind of hurt, deep down, that he couldn't reach her the way she always reached him. I wonder if he felt upset that he couldn't find the right words like she did for him. But I don't think there were any right words. She needed him to step back. It was her choice to make. So he did.)

And in the end, he was correct that she didn't want to do it. She did choose that based on her own feelings and values.

His assumption Katara not killing the guy = forgiveness is definitely him just kind of applying his assumptions and values, but when she says she doesn't forgive him, he doesn't like, judge her or anything that we can see.

So yeah, quite a few examples! It can feel lopsided because more attention is paid to Aang and Katara's personality affects things.

Katara is both open about her emotions and not. She's someone who will look after other's feelings but not really discuss her own pain with people she cares about, until it all builds up and bursts out.

And it's not surprising she's most concerned about Aang, if my friend had recently (from his perspective) survived a genocide where he lost everyone he loved and was now tasked with saving the world at twelve years old, I'd be pretty worried about him and want to support him too! Aang goes through a lot by virtue of being the protagonist, he has the most pressure on him, he's routinely in the most danger, he literally dies for a few minutes. It's not surprising Katara has more opportunities to comfort him, but he unfailingly supports her in any of her problems of goals (when they're not murder) when he can.

I do think there's some missed opportunities to explore Katara and develop their relationship, but it doesn't make Aang a bad, unsupportive friend, or Katara his Mom and not his peer.

[some-pers0n]

Demoman is one of the characters in the fandom I feel most people straight up ignore or don't know how to write. Blunt, sure, but I do stand by it. Demoman is such a fascinating, intriguing character with the most fleshed-out backstories, yet is oftentimes relegated to being Soldier 2.0, only now with poorly written phonetics.

In other words, hey! I'm a fanfic writer who has a ton of opinions as well as a neurotic need to analyze every character they come into contact with. Pleased to see you're reading this. I've already done a little doohickey essay like this with Medic a while back. The purpose of these long rambles is half of me combing through every instance of the character and pulling them apart to see how their character works...and also me not-so-subtly venting and complaining about mischaracterization. Shocking how a fandom where the main characters are all very clear-cut stereotypes with some slight subversions here and there can't seem to get them.

This essay will go through Demo's beginning and all the way to his latest appearance in the 6th comic. I'll touch on how his character shifts and is expanded upon. I doubt he changes as much as Medic has over the years, but I think it will be interesting to see. I'll just go over bits of characterization, try to rationalize it, and then try my best to sum up all of the traits by the end and try to describe his character in the most canon-compliant way.

With that preamble out of the way, let's begin. This is also 7k words btw just...be aware of that, okay?

Before we actually get into proper character stuff, I wanna lay the groundwork first by exploring the types of characterization I see from Demo. Pick them apart. See what they're really like.

So, of course, there's the popular Redditor opinion of Demo that's mainly shaped by the way people play him in the game. There, people will describe Demo as being generally a bumbling drunkard. It's not too uncommon to see people say that he's an angry drunk. A man who is more concerned with alcohol and drinking himself into a stupor than anything else. I've also seen people say that Demo straight up can't read, which...euhhhhggg. He feels more like an alternative version of Soldier at times, which, again, isn't accurate to his character.

I don't care at all for this characterization. I do think a good chunk is rooted in racism and it's generally very uncomfortable for me to look at for too long. This characterization is pretty shallow and empty, which makes for a boring and offensive caricature. Reddit moment.

The second one is more interesting and the version you'll see more on Tumblr. It's this...odd version of him. I can't exactly put my tongue on what is off about it. It seems more accurate to his character. He's a foil for Soldier a lot of the time (Boots n' Bombs is his most popular ship let's be real) and generally isn't exactly seen on his own. Sure yeah there's the oddball art of him and him only, but let's be real most of his tag is mainly just him being in the background or saying a jokey-joke.

I actually fell back into Ao3 for a bit to skim over some fics to see what kind of characterization there was of Demo there to refresh my memory, and some of the common throughlines was shockingly that he doesn't drink a lot. "He rarely drinks!" I remember reading once. That's not right, no. He's an alcoholic. Like that's a core part of his character. Another fic had him being called "Cyclops" as a pet name. Ew. Anywho, other than that it's Demo being pretty into cryptids, having the Eyelander as a buddy guy, etc and etc. It's fun, but also it's missing...something.

Then, it hit me: Demo rarely is seen as an individual. He reminds me of Heavy in that regard, where most of his appearances have him be the straight-man to another character. Most of the time he's secondary and just a folly for the other characters. It's disappointing in that regard. Like you see a lot more stuff for characters like Scout, Medic, etc and etc with their own unique characterization stuff and getting their own attention.

So...then what is Demoman's character, exactly? Well, that's what we're here to see. It'll be pretty interesting, no?

----

So, funny thing is that Demo didn't change nearly as much as Medic has over the years. Sure yeah, the concept art of Demo was more of the generic stereotypical Scotsman. White, ginger, sideburns, that whole thing. Cartoony and fun design, but eventually they went with the Demo we all know and love today.

Looking at the concept art, it all seems pretty standard for the tone that Invasion was going for at the time. Nothing really to note there other than Demo's face being a stock angry grr grr expression. It is interesting to see how the idea of him wearing an eye was a constant even from the beginning though.

This then brings us to the voicelines. Ahh, good ol' characterization. Demo here is characterized as being jovial and having fun. He's throwing out insults left and right, damning them to hell and laughing at them as they die. Usual typical mercenary stuff. This is just personal headcanon material, but I always rationalize the way the mercs act on the battlefield as being a result from adrenaline and generally being drunk on blood. They aren't as mean when off the clock, but it's worth noting that these are how these characters act when a gun's in their hands and they're exploding people left and right.

TF2 really likes basing the characters off of the class they play as and how they act. Scout is fast moving and his gameplay is oftentimes getting right in someone's face and bolting, which is reflective in his hotshot personality. It's only reasonable that Demo is an explosive, fun, and generally cocky guy when out and battling. He's lobbing grenades and sticky bombs left and right. He isn't afraid to yell to the Medic he just blew up that he's been shagging his wife and calling the Scout he just chopped the head off "twinkle-toes". He teases and such when it comes to the other team.

However, the voicelines also very curiously give us a really fascinating look into his character. He's an alcoholic. He loves his scrumpy, which is not whiskey, shockingly. I thought it was whiskey for the longest time, but no! It's a cider! His stock melee is the bottle he uses to drink, now turning it into a quick weapon. His model in the main menu is him holding up the bottle itself. His default melee taunt is him taking a swig from the scrumpy bottle. It's a core part of his identity, let's be real. It's a part of the whole Scottish stereotype he has going on.

The game of course follows this. There's a lot of lines where he's slurring and babbling in a cartoony drunken way. A good portion of it is just him making vague threats...but a lot of it is also sad. He calls himself a one-eyed bloody monster. He weeps and cries. When jeering, he says he's hit rock bottom here. Interesting new development.

Apologizes for pausing to ramble, but I don't get why people try and sand down the edges to Demoman's character by making him out as though he isn't an addict. He is. That's something that is made abundantly clear. The iconography of alcohol follows him like his own damn shadow. I dunno. It bothers me.

I digress. There's some other bonus stuff I think is quite interesting. Most of his battle charges involve the other team. "Let's gettem lads!" and all. I think it's neat how he views his teammates as just that. Teammates. Those he fights alongside with. Another thing of note is how he occasionally has lines that are...odd in a way. Poetic and dramatic. Something that subverts the typical characterization. When he loses at rock paper scissors, there's a chance he'll say "Oh, 'tis a dark day", which. well then okay buddy.

So to recap: for characterization in-game, Demo is an alcoholic Scotsman who is generally pretty witty and functioning despite the incredible amounts of booze he drinks. He is energetic, bombastic, and generally hearty and having fun. He's not taking things terribly seriously and is generally just going about and blowing stuff up. However, there is a very noticeable streak of sadness to his character. When drinking, he reveals undertones of self-deprecation and hatred. Why? How?

...well, you just need to take a gander at his character card.

Erm excuse me what the fuck.

I honestly do not understand the logic behind this backstory. Like in a practical sense. Like, yeah!! obviously this backstory is sad and such! I really actually like this backstory and honestly I love writing him in the context that this happened to him. It's just that...I can't wrap my head around the idea of this being Demo's backstory given that everyone else has pretty silly little blurbs here. I think the darkest it gets is Soldier going to Germany years after WWII ended to kill people.

This??? Sure yeah TF2 gets a lot sillier and more cartoony comedic as time goes on, but even with the current tone where is the funny? I ain't complaining, I love me my angst, but this is so jarring to see. I suppose that explains why they retcon it later, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Hey, at least it gives us an explanation to why Demo is sad. We can pretty easily gleam a reason for his current behaviour in the game from this: his messed up childhood. To begin, Tavish Finnegan DeGroot was abandoned by his parents and left to live in an orphanage. Eventually, he was adopted and brought up by some foster parents, who he then murdered in an attempt to blow up the Loch Ness monster. This was when he was six years old. Actual child. 

He then went back into the orphanage, where he would tinker with bombs. Why? Insert whatever headcanon here, but for me I think it's a feeling of fascination, yet also heavy guilt. Perhaps revenge. Either way, he loses his eye from these experiments. Eventually however, he's brought back into the family when word spreads of his excellence when it comes to manufacturing bombs. The use of the word "lovingly" feels exceptionally sarcastic, but that could be in part to how his parents are later characterized. Either way, this is a result of the DeGroot tradition, which, and I quote, is wholly unnecessary and cruel. It even cites it as him being reintroduced into his family as the "end of his unhappy childhood".

...so yeah. Pretty safe to say the reason for his alcoholism is to cope with that. He feels the guilt over that and will breakdown into sobs over it even. Yikeesss... It can also mean that he feels as though he's held up to incredibly high expectations, having the entire DeGroot family lineage to live up to. Again, later on he's being nagged at for not being as hard-working as his father, who, in good ol' TF2 fashion, blew up the Queen for a nickel. It does certainly feel that way, no?

So this introduces a new wrinkle to Demoman's current characterization: he's an alcoholic who is happy and has an upbeat and fun personality (at least on the battlefield), but underneath it he's hurting and feels ashamed of who he is. He drinks to cope and manage it, yet it only seems to exasperate problems at times.

Can I safely say that Demo is the merc with the most fascinating and intriguing backstory and personality thus far? Sure yeah I love Engie a lot as well, but Demo's character actually feels like it is a result of the backstory written for him. Like all of the other mercs sure you can go on and on about stuff with them, like Scout and Spy and their whole deal, Sniper and his parents, everything with Heavy, etc. Demo?? Right off the bat there's something to chew on in terms of actual character writing.

What an interesting character! I sure hope later installations of the story will follow through on this and give him ample screentime!

Anywho, time for the Meet the Demo video. Again, a departure from the Meet the Medic video and how I rambled on and on about that one, but it was mainly due to MtM being something to mark a drastic shift in Medic's character from serious and angry to more silly and mad scientist-esque. Meet the Demo, due to it being one of the Meet the Team videos made so early on, doesn't really get the benefit of a short with a story, but I digress.

This one is stylized more like an interview, which, in canon, means he's telling this all to The Director and all. It opens with the title screen before the horns section seep in, cutting to a clip of Demo running while explosions go off behind him. A freeze frame cut before a voice-over of Demo comes on with the iconic line "What makes me a good Demoman? If I were a bad Demoman, I wouldn't be here discussing it with you, now would I!?"

Okay so just more confirmation and all of Demo's personality in-game. According to his bio, he has a short temper and all, which could explain him getting louder when asked that question. I don't think it's a joke or him exaggerating, since he seems genuinely pretty upset by the suggestion. He would have to be good at his job in order to be telling you this, yeah? Why even bother asking? It's an interesting bit of characterization that somewhat expands on that short temper.

More generic footage of him running about while explosions go off before coming back to the interview of him explaining a bomb in its simplest form. "One crossed wire, a wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch... and kablewie!!" Seems like filler dialogue, but I always like taking note of the fact he uses the chemical compound term as opposed to something more colloquial. It's just headcanons, but I really enjoy thinking that Demo is pretty damn smart and really gifted when it comes to making bombs and general chemistry. It's a clear passion and love of his and I like touching on it when I can.

The next couple seconds are shots between him taking a good swig of his scrumpy and then blowing up a level three sentry. It's just showing off his capabilities as a class. Nothing special (other than being cool and showing he's competent at his job). The real interesting part is his breakdown where he's on the verge of tears, exasperatingly telling the camera that he's...off. He knows it. There's not too many black Scotsmen, especially ones with a busted eye. "They've got more fucking sea monsters in the great Loch Ness than they got the likes of me" he says.

But, he perks up! He talks over a clip of him baiting a group of BLU mercs into a sticky trap. The voiceover is also really fascinating here. The way Demo talks reminds me something out of an Aesop fable. It's a very curious and fascinating way of talking. I wish this bit of characterization stuck around since it's pretty fun. "Come and get me I say! I'll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the ol' brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable...with an unhappy bloody end!" is really cool.

The video ends with him taunting the mangled corpses followed by a rendition of the main theme with bagpipes. I should probably also mention Drunken Pipe Bomb, his theme song. It's an upbeat and fun piece with a mixture of the typical TF2 sounds (funky jazzy drums and bass guitar) as well as a Celtic flair, what with bagpipes, whistles, etc and etc. There's also a kickass surf rock section. It's quite the battle theme and definitely reflects a lot of Demo's character as being an energetic, explosive type of character who is proud of his Scottish roots.

So that's pretty much it for SFM bits for now. How about we take a step back and look at the first-ever actual TF2 comic: WAR!, where Demo really gets a big break for his characterization. We don't care about the Saxton Hale or Jarate ones. WAR! my beloved...

But first, the actual WAR! update. It was the sixth major content update released back in 2009. Remember when this game got actual content updates? Me neither. The update was based around the rivalry between the RED Demo and the BLU Soldier to excuse why they were adding new items for the both of them, with Soldier in the end winning the little contest and getting the Gunboats.

For canon lore, the update serves to introduce the idea that the RED Demo and BLU Soldier had a comradery at first. Friends! Interesting piece of characterization to have Demo explicitly go against RED and become friends with Soldier. The two of them do bounce off of each other quite well when they're paired up, I will say. They're both heavy-hitters in terms of gameplay and their personalities are quite loud at times.

For added voicelines, there's a bunch of the Administrator denouncing their friendship as well as domination lines for both Solly and Demo whenever they kill each other. Demo pretends he hates Soldier, but asks if he's okay, tells him that he loves him, and generally is like "but we're still friends though, aye? :]" He does care a lot about their friendship, which is pretty sweet and cute. Sure hope that lasts.

In the WAR! comic, we see Demo in a mansion. He's loaded! It's also confirmation that the mercs are given quite a lot of money, but apparently not enough for Demo's mother. She's nagging him about not working and saying that he should be ashamed for being so lazy, to which he rebuttals, saying he has three jobs and has made millions annually. Apparently not enough for his mother, since Demo's father worked twenty-six jobs.

She also brings up an interesting piece of information. "No demoman worth his sulfur ever had an eye in his head past thirty!" which implies that missing an eye is a family tradition to lose your eyes when working this job. Would this also imply that Demo is not thirty by this point, since he still has the one eye? Eh, whatever. 

Demo taking care of his mom in this old, nagging state is pretty neat characterization, as well as him holding down two other jobs besides mercenary work for RED. He's very capable and talented! He's also extremely caring and sweet. Even when his mum is complaining and griping about him not living up to his father, he gets her tea and takes care of her. He does respond with a lot of "I know mum" when it comes to that. He's heard it all before. She keeps saying the same stuff. I like thinking he knows fully well he can't live up to the extreme work ethic his father had or truly impress his parents and is pretty bummed out about it, but that's just headcanons.

Anywho, Pauling's there. She's there because the Administrator wants to break up the friendship between Demo and the BLU Soldier and instead have them be pitted against each other. While Soldier needs to be tricked and insulted by Demo and told that he's a civilian (something that he hates apparently), Demo is more coerced and convinced.

He's still loyal to their friendship, but, aye, there's something different about that sword there. Here's an interesting bit of characterization: Demo being a sword guy. There's a lot of medieval stuff relating to Demo, what with DeGroot's Keep, the Eyelander, his general way of speaking at times, etc and etc. It's fun and I think he takes great interest in medieval-period stuff, but, again, headcanons.

Demo feels conflicted. How could she make him choose between his best friend and this cool ass sword?? He doesn't give an answer, but Miss Pauling further pushes him to choose violence when leaving even more stuff for him as well as telling him that Soldier said that he'll join the fight. It's then assumed that Demo agrees by that point.

It's interesting to compare and contrast Demo and Soldier. Soldier, despite hearing all of these mean things, still wants to be friends with Demo. It's until "Demo" calls him a civilian, something personal and sensitive to him, is when he decides to betray him. Demo meanwhile is more swayed by things that he loves, but the final push is that betrayal. He only acts when he's finally told that their friendship has been severed. Curious how their loyalty is strong in those ways.

...I should probably sometime mention the actual retconning of his backstory however. Hoouhhh boy let's go. So, for the 2011 Halloween update, there was a comic alongside it. This comic had some cute gags, like Heavy giving a little boy he scared seven grand. However, the main attraction is the rewritten backstory for Demo.

I mentioned earlier, but I honestly can't blame them for maybe trying another crack at a Demo backstory that isn't as bleak and miserable. I do really like the original one because I'm a sucker for angst, but this backstory does work a lot better tonally when you're just trying to write some goofy stuff, especially if it involves Merasmus at some point.

The story retcons the whole thing and seemingly makes it so that Demo has always been with his parents and the reason he lost his eye was not because of some brutal accident but rather a currrseeee ooohhhh spookyyy. He's hired by Merasmus to sweep up the place a bit, with him being exceptionally clear to young Tav to not touch any of the accursed tomes. He does, of course. Nothing too much in terms of characterization. It's more just saying "Hey Demo's eye is cursed and that's why he lost it but! hey! it comes back once every Halloween!!"

Again, I can't really knock this version of events. They're simple, but goofy and fun. It's all up to whatever you're trying to accomplish with Demo methinks. If you want silly and whimsical stories, you can have that backstory. If you want gut-wrenching angst, probably should take the initial one.

Aanndd that's virtually it for Demo being important. Demo doesn't get too much plot relevance later on. He's just kinda done with. He shows up in Expiration Date for a quick gag where he returns with a bunch of beer, shouting and cheering while being unaware of how they all just learned they're going to die in three days. He then shows up again during the bucket scene and doesn't do much other than mouthing somethin' (I can't tell you want tbh). A new thing is that he plays piano! That's fun! He then kinda watches Scout try and ask out Pauling and he yells for him to describe what she looks like, which is just what Demo currently sees her as (drunk, blurry, etc). He then fights in the big battle yada yada and shows up at the end with the beer again.

The MVM trailer I suppose is a thing to be noted. Here, he's a BLU Soldier and is playing cards with the Soldier of the same team. Seems like regardless of teams, there's some sort of bond between the two of them. All that happens is that Demo is down to bust up robots with the rest of the RED mercs. Pretty much it.

It is quite unfortunate to see Demo relegated to a role so passive in the story and comics. I've mentioned it before, but I do have an ever so slight grudge against Soldier for taking up the majority of the screentime when it comes to the comics. Yeah, he's really fun to write about, I can't blame the writers for doing so, but also like...c'mon... In the end, we're left with a good chunk of the mercs being underdeveloped in exchange for a ton of Soldier trivia. Props if you like Solly though; your fave got the best treatment.

Ah, but still! Demo has some moments in the comics! Let's go through them! 

Uh. Upon checking most of the comics before the mainline ones, it appears he does not say even a single word. Or even show up in a good portion. Well that's disappointing. I thought he at least said like...one thing. The most he does in terms of characterization is put on a crown in A Fate Worse Than Chess, and even then that's just a silly cosmetic. Damn.

It's fine though! Because now we have the mainline comics! Hot damn finally some actual casual Demoman TF2 writing! Let's get a look and see what his normal usual personality is like! I wonder what fun shenanigans he's been up to.

The first time we see Demo he's babbling about his job being replaced by robots and looking utterly dishevelled and depressed.

Okay. That's...yeah pretty in line for his character thus far. An alcoholic who is struggling with some stuff and oftentimes will have a very vocal breakdown in front of others.

The way that he's characterized here is rather fascinating though, I'll say. He's depressed. From what we can glean, this is what his life has been like since the layoffs. He's gained weight (what with Soldier's very blunt "Hello fat Demoman!"), hasn't shaved, his clothes are dirty, and beer bottles are scattered in the living room. Even the Eyelander is like "dude you need to let it go" when Demo mumbles about robots replacing jobs. He's presumably lost his two other jobs and has just been laying on this couch, drinking booze and watching TV and nothing more, despite his mum's nagging.

This is a side of Demo we don't really see. Sure, yeah, we see the hot and tempered side (ex: Meet the Demoman and the general game) as well as the sad and weepy side, but it's never to this degree. Like full on depressive episode. Yikes. Sure yeah he gets dragged back into the plot and instantly gets back to himself (albeit more orange than actually black)(I keep forgetting how whitewashed Demo was in these first few comics), but it's played for laughs and gags.

What an interesting piece of characterization, no? I've seen a fair amount of major depressive disorder, BPD, PTSD, and or bipolar headcanons slapped onto Demo and tbh I can't blame them. I'd be really interested to see some fic explore that in greater detail. I'm too busy writing Engiemedic yaoi to do anything for now though. Womp womp.

The ending bit of the comic has Demo and Pauling mainly chat with each other. Oh yeah!! Demo and Pauling! They've got a couple pretty neat lines. For the usual contract it's just jokes about his alcoholism, his eye, and a couple about his mom and just general gags. In the Tough Break update, she's out drinking with Demo and nearly spills the beans about her job. Fun. I really like the Miss Pauling characterization where she regularly hangs out with the mercs. It's cute.

In the comics, she talks to Demo more like an actual equal than, say, Pyro or Soldier. She talks to them like they're children roughhousing in the backseat. Demo sits up front and the two go back and forth. Demo is the more mature and reasonable one here. Another thing that's a common bit of characterization in the comics is that Demo isn't...drunk. He's not slurring nor acting in a way that makes it immediately clear he's inebriated. He's pretty lucid. This can be from the fact that he's a very high-functioning alcoholic, but it also makes him out to be actually pretty all-there for most of the time. I've seen far too many fics where Demo is in a perpetual state of shitface drunk so that was a nice refresher.

Demo reappears in the second comic, where we get some pretty neat characterization. He's out on the town in disguise. I keep forgetting about that "What do you see?" "Not a damn thing. Let's switch places" gag that's so funny. Whatever. He is the voice of reason when it comes to Soldier. The straight-man character. He's not really...drunk here. He's not slurring his words nor is he exactly doing anything. He steps in front when Soldier starts yelling at an elderly woman, instead approaching her with a calm and kind demeanour. He holds Soldier back when he goes to strangle Scout for. I guess just being there.

So there's Demo when he's just doing stuff normally, I suppose. He's generally pretty level-headed, albeit because he's up there with Soldier. He's the Normal One when posed next to a guy like Solly. A little disappointing, but there's probably more in comic 4.

Ah the Swordvan comic. Demo and Pauling head over to Sniper's house to retrieve him. An odd bit of characterization is that Demo just takes one look at Snipes' house and goes "Welp, nobody's here. Let's get out". He doesn't seem terribly thrilled to be here, further backed up by him saying that there's just gonna be fingernails and jars of piss and he straight up says "good riddance" like what is his issue with the bushman??

Now that's kinda interesting. Demo sees Snipes as being kinda just gross and a raving lunatic. He could easily be in-place for the audience and just saying what we're thinking, but I think it's interesting to see that Demo, the guy often portrayed as being the weirdo party guy, being very straight-forward. He think Sniper is some sadistic madman and just wants out. Unfortunately, he's given a neckfull of Sniper's homemade family moonshine, so he can't get out quite yet.

A very common thing in these comics it seems is Demo being the voice of reason, which is pretty interesting. The straight man to everyone. When he wakes up to Pauling spitting on him to wake him up, he goes "eughhh gross, but, hey, it worked!!" before then is knocked out. He then stays quiet for the rest of the scene, unless of course you're counting the deleted pages. There's no dialogue, but Demo breaks free from the ropes binding him, yells at Sniper, then pushes past before then inserting three syringes-worth of the moonshine into himself and passing out. Alcoholism joke as per usual. Shockingly the first one we've gotten so far.

In the submarine ride down, Demo's passed out with his scrumpy in hand. Again just a gag about him drinking a lot. He then kinda stays in the background for the rest of the comic, only appearing really once to hold a vat of liquor, before then coming to in the final shot where he holds Sniper's dead body. Heyyyy Demo I thought you thought Sniper was a weirdo freak.

Nothing too much to say from this comic then. It's just establishing more and more that Demo plays a very...straight-man character role when it comes to the comics at least. He's reasonable, level-headed, and often just says whatever comes to mind. He's kind and will instantly rush to someone's aid when they're hurt as well as just generally being pretty good-hearted. Nice!

Comic 5 mainly just features a gag with Demo's liver being so overworked that he starts turning his other organs into alcohol distilleries. The whimsy. The line that I find most fascinating from this comic is from Spy.

Like oh okay so he straight up doesn't eat anything other than alcohol and aspirin. Water literally poisons him. Probably just a throwaway gag, but geez. It does say that he is kinda in pain all the time, at least to the point where aspirin is one of the few things his body can handle. Someone out there can probably work with that and make it angsty. Other than that, not much else for Demo.

Comic 6! The final one! Home stretch here folks before I can wrap this up and give a thesis on whatever the heck Demo's character is. Demo, again, is mainly just here for gags. It's the one thing I do really wish that the comics did more: explore Demo's backstory. Like you don't even need to keep the original one, but it's still fascinating to bring up the fact he has a family lineage at all. Instead, he's mainly just a straight-man character. But, hey, whatever. I'm just the one analyzing these silly comics and jokey joke characters for gay melodramatic yaoi fanfiction.

There's a gag about Demo's liver coming back to him after leaving. These soap opera drama scene could parallel the type of shows that he was watching when having that depressive episode, but that's maybe a bit of a stretch. He then gets included in that fun group shot, where his pose mimics that from the Meet the Demo, before then gets a one-on-one scene with Medic. 

These two are such a fun duo I wish Jaggerbombs was a more common pairing. Ah well. Medic catches Demo up on everything whilst he's stitching up wounds. The medi-gun is broken so they're doing this the old-fashioned way. Demo has a gag where he's still drinking, only that it's hydrogen peroxide instead. This then leads to a scene where Demo asks why Medic never gave him an eye. Reasonable methinks. Medic responds saying he did.

Demo gets upset. He raises his voice for the first (official) time in the comics. Again, his temperament. I think it's a reasonable thing to be upset about tbh. Like imagine being told after all this time you could've had your eye back. He then learns that, no, the procedure has been done before, but rather that it never sticks because of how his eye socket is cursed. Demo asks how he can't remember this, to which Medic goes "Hooh :] It's because I scooped out a part of your brain" because of course he did. He then forgets the entire conversation + probably Medic entirely.

Aaannnddd that's pretty much it for Demo. That's his last speaking role. Just a quick, simple gag about his eye being cursed, his alcoholism, and generally being the straight-man for others, even if he does have a couple silly gags too. Seems like a culmination of everything he is in the comics.

To conclude: Demo is a character I feel can take on two main roles depending on what kind of tone you're going for. If you want angst, you've got a character who carries the guilt of murdering his foster parents as well as the burden of being a DeGroot, turning to alcohol to cope with his sadness and general inability to deal with it all. If you want silly goofy stuff, you have Demo being a straight-man or a neat party guy if you like the bit from Expiration Date where he brings back beer and such. Of course there's nuance. I find it best to try and find a balance between these two opposing sides. It just takes time and practice to really get a hold of his personality methinks.

I do wish he was more in the comics though as his own person, y'know? He's very reliant on others in order for his character to function, whilst most others have scenes where it's just them doing something. I wish he was used more than being the guy who drags the others back to reality. Damn it sucks to see that the fics where he's mainly just the straight-man are kinda right in that regard.

But for character traits? Hm, let's see. I find it's just trying to make sense of what's given to you and seeing what best fits for the tone of story you're trying to go for. However, for me trying to write him? Well...

His alcoholism is a central character trait. He is definitely 100% an alcoholic, regardless of however people try and sand him down. I personally really like sticking to the idea that he straight up can't eat anything but booze and aspirin because I think it's funny but also sad, but that's me. I think him having a flask of scrumpy on his person at all times is a neat headcanon as well.

Another big trait with Demo is his frequently shifting mood when drunk. He can swing from loud to weeping in a couple moments. I wouldn't say he's particularly angry nor aggressive, no more than any other character at least. He's most volatile on the battlefield, but otherwise at the base I feel it wouldn't be an uncommon sight to see Demo partying until dawn or holed up in the living room and sobbing. Poor guy.

In spite of what many think, Demo is certainly not lazy. He's a workaholic is anything. He holds down three jobs and rakes in a lot of money in order to live up to his name as a DeGroot. It could be because he likes working that much or that his mother just nags him to push himself that far. That also ties into his self-deprecation, another core trait of his, but that's pretty obvious to see.

His heart is another big trait. The guy loves. He cares for his mother even when she nags at him. He sticks by Soldier's side until he feels as though he's been betrayed. He takes care of the Eyelander and treats it like a pal. He generally cares a whole heck of a lot about people and other things. He wears his heart on his sleeve and says what he means. He doesn't feel a need to really hide who he is as a person. He's loud, fun, and just naturally pretty sweet and kind. I don't think he's ever really "mean" outside of the game stuff. There's also the whole "being hired to explode people" part but ehhh that's just the silliness in him :]

Demo also being generally pretty...normalish. He's a guy who's really just going through it when you take the angst option. He oftentimes will try and hold back others from doing something stupid when sober. I feel like when he's drunk he's more willing to get in on dumb shit, but still. However, this doesn't mean he's wholly a normal person. I think you can do a lot of headcanons here where you bring out some traits that are otherwise not talked about too much.

There are a lot of liberties to be taken with Demo's character as per usual. A ton of writing a character to be, well, in-character is just getting down their voice and mannerisms. Understanding their personality and motives is just half the battle. Demo sometimes speaks like an old-timey medieval knight or poet or whatever. He's generally pretty well-spoken and whatever. For the love of god if you want to write him, you don't need to include phonetics constantly. Please. It's so much better that tu'try toh spell everay whurd like tis. Oftentimes people will just know what the character sounds like regardless. Just try and mimic his way of speaking more and you'll do wonders for actually making that character sound like, well, that character.

I've neglected to mention Demo being a black man a lot because, well, it never really pops up a lot in canon. I think the most recognition we get for Demo being black is him just saying that he's black. He's a black Scotsman and that's about it. It's curious since I've seen a number of fics where it's all period-typical racism angst and whatever, with Demo being used as a way for the author to get up and proudly say that they think that racism is bad by having Demo being called a slur and getting upset. How progressive. 

I dunno. I never really personally touch on period-typical bigotry stuff myself due to the fact that this is Team Fortress 2. Rocket jumping was invented before stairs. Besides, this is the late 60s/early 70s. The civil rights movement happened by this point. Not everyone walking the streets is gonna be some abrasive bigot. I don't know why people want to try and make it "historically accurate" to begin with since this series has never been period-accurate to begin with. I don't particularly think TF2 is a great series to go on about tackling period-typical bigotry either. Literally if you want Demo angst you've got the actual mountain load of angst with his backstory right there. Obviously of course people are allowed to write what they want and I do fully believe that sharing stories and portraying bigotry is important, but why with TF2??? Do people just really look at a POC and think their existence is inherently political and they need to make it clear they think Racism Bad, even though the tone of canon really doesn't match that?? Ah well. I'm just rambling.

Regardless, Demo is just a character where you can take a lot of different avenues with. Maybe you can explore his trauma and try and write about how he feels trying to live up to his family name. What about his issues with his now-deceased father? Maybe you can forgo that and have him be a partner in crime to Solly or whomever else, with the occasional glimpse into his more sensitive self. Really, it all just depends on the story you're trying to tell. Ultimately, writing Demo with a healthy mix of comedy and angst is probably what is best done if you just want a pretty in-character version. He can be out on some grand adventure to take down Nessie with a merc or two AND have it be a story about him coming to terms with his past. That's just a me thing though lol.

Demo, like the rest of the cast, is an easily moldable piece of clay. All of the mercs at their very core are just funny character archetypes. They can be whatever you want them to be. It's just best to work with their original characterization and personality in mind, y'know? Fanfic writing is mainly about having fun anyway.

Speaking of which, enough procrastinating for me. I need to get back to writing my yaoi...

[cantgetworsethanthistbh]

dumping more of my stancest feels here because i cannot NOT think of them. i read journal 3 for the first time this week and its great because Ford acts like stanley's biggest hater which is pretty fking funny (if not absolutely infuriating at times because omfg stfu you smug prick)

but the moments like this get to me

Ford being blinded by his quest of grandeur, accolades and praise for world changing discoveries, so obsessed with greatness, being the first name people remember, and all the other things his npd-isms tells him he wants.

And then there's "reminds me of camping with my brother. i wonder what he's up to..."

i mentioned in my previous post that stan acts quite a lot like the anchor to ford's boat, keeping him grounded and most importantly, safe from both the bitter and the sweet kinds of evils. but he also represents something so much simpler to ford too: the simple desires he represses so much because its not "good enough" for someone special like him.

he resents stan so much because he represents a "block" against that percieved good enough success he wants, the obstacle that made it impossible to get in a fancy college, become the world renowed researcher, the one who wanted to destroy his journal's and lifes work (even though it was the better, safer option if Bill really WAS that dangerous, which he was) that could still make him famous. because if ford's not "praised and weird" then he's just "weird" and being "weird" was nothing but a pain his whole life that kept him rejected and isolated from the masses. and stan prevented him from that.

(btw "maybe he can prove himself to me" is nasty work my god ford is a douche lmao)

a lot of his projections of something greater comes through with how he treated dipper in the show (his whole spiel in damvtf) and fiddleford in journal 3 where he looks down on the happy life that fiddleford had with his wife and child and saying he was "wasting his talents" making computers. and like, we all know by the way he takes them on high stakes adventures they're not as prepared for compared to him (and end up causing more trouble than not by doing so), he's trying to fill a gaping hole left by someone else. we all know this obviously, we all know what we ship here, but what i came to appreciate the most about it is how much that gaping hole exists in the low stakes

everytime ford is thinking during the "down time" moments, his thoughts always drift back to his childhood, and one person who represents it.

childhood memories, making fun of stans favorite snack, scribbling out a design of the stan o war, whenever Ford lets his mind wander it expresses such an intense yearning for the past before he became obsessed with wanting something more. these are his most utmost and most unfiltered thoughts, which is why he scribles them away or and writes in code. and the fact that he directly says they are about NOT getting married, followed with "wondering what he's doing right now", painting the picture of what his most ideal idylic life is. wanting a return of something lost. wanting Stan back more than anything.

he finally accepts that his dream never really changed, just the same as stan's and so they saild off together for the rest of their days, in ford's own words (which ironically sounds like a marriage to me either way so tough shit ford)

[decepti-thots]

Sometimes I have to remind myself that a lot of people in fact have not read/skipped the prose stories in IDW, so for what it's worth, I think any discussion of pre-Overlord Drift-Rodimus dynamics needs to consider this specific scene from the post-RiL one. I am passionate enough about this I'm putting it below the cut, though I have the whole story hosted here btw. It establishes a few really important things, IMO:

What I just discussed regarding Rodimus having voluntarily brought Overlord onto the ship, against Drift's wishes

Him attempting to prevent Drift from taking the fall because he knows it's his fault, and Drift being the one to tell him no about this

The revelation Drift was keeping his motivation for putting Rodimus in charge a secret from Rodimus, which he only explains before leaving

Drift being clear he did not take the fall to help Rodimus per se, but because he considers it the necessary thing to do as per his vision, which is ultimately the most important thing to him period

That's a LOT of stuff without which the dynamic does not read at all the same way going forward, IMO. Basically any discussion of those two in s1 should really take it into consideration in terms of both sides' motivations, especially regarding Drift's motivations in keeping Rodimus content and in charge no matter what he said or did, and Rodimus' relative ignorance of said motivations.

****

As Rodimus stepped into his office he shielded his eyes—literally put his hand to his face—to avoid catching sight of the flames he’d had painted around the doorframe. As soon as he’d sorted out the current mess he’d ask Atomizer to help him redecorate. No more fire-rimmed entrances, garish pink walls or self-aggrandizing plaques: just a desk, a chair, some subdued lighting and a memorial to crewmembers killed by sparkeater, Legislator, or Overlord.

Overlord.

When his guard was down—when he wasn’t showing off or doodling or spray-painting—the name made him think of the people who had died or lost loved ones because he’d been too scared to say no to Prowl. Overlord made him think of Pipes and Rewind and Chromedome and Lockstock and Lancet, but one face—Drift’s face—kept crowding out all the others. It had been here, in his office, that they’d had their last proper conversation.

“An inquiry?” Drift stood in the doorway, looking incredulous. “An inquiry?”

Rodimus dragged him inside and locked the door. “I had to do something! People were asking questions! And what do you do if you want to stall things? You launch an inquiry.” He slumped into his chair. “An inquiry into something I’m responsible for. Oh god. Oh god, I feel sick. I’ve messed up big time.”

“I can sort this out, Rodimus. Honestly, I can fix this.”

“This is my fault, not yours. We were standing in Prowl’s office, and he was trying to convince me that bringing Overlord onboard was ‘right and proper’, and you called me an idiot for even considering it.”

“Was I that blunt?”

“I don’t know why he even let you in on those discussions in the first place. It’s not like he trusts you.”

“I’ll tell you exactly why he wanted me there: it was in case something like this happened. Need a scapegoat? Get an ex-Decepticon.”

“Well it’s not gonna happen. I’m taking the fall for this one. Your name doesn’t have to come into it. It’s taken you years to win back people’s trust, and you’re not throwing it all away on my behalf.”

“Rodimus, if you tell the crew what you’ve done, then that’s it. The quest’s over. We’ll never find the Knights.”

“No, it just means someone else will take over. You, maybe? Ratchet? I dunno. Someone.”

“But someone doesn’t take over!” Rodimus looked up sharply. “’Doesn’t’?”

“Won’t.”

“You said ‘doesn’t.’ What d’you mean, ‘doesn’t’?”

“It’s hard to explain what I mean.” Drift unclipped his Great Sword and placed it on the desk. “You remember when I nearly died, back on Cybertron? I was within feet of Vector Sigma.”

“Yes…” said Rodimus slowly, unsure where this was going.

“When I put this sword through my spark, I saw something.”

“What, like a vision?”

“Kind of. More a sense of how things would play out. It was abstract and it was fleeting, and every time I call it to mind it becomes harder to interpret, but something is around the corner, Rodimus—and a year from now, or 50 years from now, that something will arrive, and we won’t be able to stop it unless we find the Knights. And I don’t care if you think, ‘Oh, that’s just Drift being Drift,’ because I’m convinced that you need to remain in charge. People can come and go—they can die—but you have to be here, otherwise we will fail. And so the simple solution—the only solution—is that I take the blame for this.”

“I won’t let you do this for me.”

“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for everyone else.”

[trutrustories]

STUDY IN LOKI ROMANCE

Part 2: Breaking Brad

Since we're only a few days away from the last episode, I decided to COUNT DOWN everything we´ve got so far ( that can be interpreted very easily as romantic ) and discuss what the actual fuck is going on with second season. Because even though I shipped lokius practically from S1E2, I absolutely did NOT expect this kind of development. (Not that I´m complaining)

Warning: This is gonna be LONG post, lots of screenshots, lots of SPOILERS, lot of "oh-my-god-they-so-cute" language, and little bit of meta.

I originally thought that this post would be everything at once, but since I have just too many screenshots this time around, I´ll have to split it. so every post will be one episode. Color coding means:

IIIIIIIIII = anything, that coud potentialy be just acting choice.

IIIIIIIIII = everything else (tzn.: whatever was written, and/or carefully prepared by filmmakers. )

side note: I already wrote, about how amazing it is, that Mobius is unable to fight but fights anyway and how beautifuly, and ridiculously brave he is HERE. But this is about Loki/Mobius interactions, so I´ll try my best not to talk about THAT. (Even when I´m really happy, that s2 continues with this formula and Mobius is still his completely defenseless while aggressively brave self. I love him, btw.)

EPISODE 1 HERE

Okay, Check-list, ep 2:

11) matching suits part 1 THIS ⬇️ costume department did a great job and they look badass together also, they´re walking very close to each other.

12) Loki defending /saving Mobius from Brad (with magic!) also, Mobius, dear, (my beloved) you were really going for it! Always so ready to fight! I can´t xD

Loki "don´t u dare hurt him" Laufeyson, look at his face!

13) Mobius and Loki struggling to assemble IKEA furniture- sorry Tapmad together

14) " And he knows..." I mean yeah, sure. keep remind us, that Mobius knows everything about Loki, and saw him at his worst, so we can appreciate even more the fact, that Mobius likes him and cares for him so damn much 💚🤎

15) Loki finding Mobius´s joke amusing Mobius: cracking joke right after Loki´s threatening speech:

Loki:

16) Loki being very concerned for Mobius after his outburst, saying that It´s okay, and then suggests having pie because he knows Mobius so well and is avare of the fact, that his man is stress eater I´m gonna cry they´re too pure for MCU someone adopt them

17) Bickering like married couple (part 2) 18) The whole freaking pie scene!

Just them, sharing calm, intimate moment together

Mobius opening up to Loki, and admiting he "lost it"

Loki trying to make him feel better and absolutely KILLING IT! btw, I know, that some people think, this scene doesn´t make sense, because Loki didn´t "lost it" during avengers, but was controlled by mind stone, etc.... well I think that it actually doesn´t matter. Guess what else doesn´t make sense? For example the fact, that they already talked about Loki fighting Avengers ( during their first meeting.) Loki is aware, that Mobius saw New York invasion at least twice now, and he´s telling him anyway. I would say, that point here is Loki trying to lift Mobius´s spirit, entertain him, make him smile. Why else woud he start his monolog by "remember, when...?" And I think, that this is huge, actually: Loki, using his bad memory, defeat, his humulianting experience to make Mobius feel better. So not only, that we see, he no longer care about being rurel but we see him making lightly fun of it FOR MOBIUS´S SAKE! He has different priorities now... our immortal god is a grown man now... it´s just so fucking beautiful... 🥺

Also Mobius saying to Loki: "come on, you´re the God of Mischief" Like it´s a best thing in the world, and Loki gives him THIS LOOK! (I mean that head tilt would be considered "acting" category, but I´m already making concessions by including all these things under one number :D

19) Loki and Mobius: mischievous duo

Mobius trusts him so completly!

They both such a drama queens!

And they works so well together!

like... seriously, Brad didn´t see this coming, AT ALL! xD

also... Loki complimenting his plan?!

20) "They say opposites attract. NO." Mobius´s wishfull thinking xD (But hey, it IS true. Opposites attracts. And works greatly together. That´s the only reason, why, for example, trope like grumpy one/sunshine one is so popular!) I can´t! just look at his face 🤣 Oh honey! just calm down

He is sooooooo NOT chill here xD bless him

21) Loki, not following Sylvie, but actually staying with Mobius and comforting him. AGAIN. (which is an absolutely glaring contrast compared to episode 2 in first season!)

[xxfrankiesteinksxx]

small details in the dnpc video no one is mentioning

okay, look, i'm gonna admit it, i'm a game/film theory girly and a whore for lore, so i pick at details i shouldn't be picking at, so here's some things i see in the video that i don't see being mentioned in theories/analyses. also keep in mind my brain consists of a single cell encapsulated in aspic (i know what the actual deeper meaning is this is just a bit of fun for me)

the thing underneath the piano - the camera falls off the piano in one scene and something (i still cant figure out what exactly it might be) is visible, oddly clear-looking for something underneath a broken piano in shoddy lighting (actually looking at it again it might be a corpse, is it possibly phil's old body?)

dan telling phil not to film him drawing the sigils but phil still filming - you might be able to also throw in the part where phil screams "NO" when the camera's on him sitting in the corner; they don't seem to want things to be filmed but it feels like they're obligated to record everything to some extent

phil's very explicit control over dan - this is to the point where he even has to tell dan what and what isn't food, and takes away water privileges for some reason (btw this is your reminder to drink some water) and overall very demanding tone when instructing him

SOFT AND NEAT - there's a lot of reinforcement of this, its clearly a joke but i'm overanalytical and will blatantly ignore this. there's heavy hesitation with any sharp object around them (when dan has to cut his hand, kill phil, take out phil's heart, mentioning razor blades when using the shaving foam)

dan still primarily uses his left hand - people have mentioned how he's been "fixed" but him using his right hand seems to be performative since he pours most things, mixes with his left hand, and even primarily uses his left hand to spread the blood (plus he never sacrificed himself unlike phil who seems to have died in potato stamps and been resurrected with perfect vision) there's also old superstitions that being left-handed means you're somehow cursed by/connected to satan, speaking of which...

dan has a much better connection and the ability to communicate directly with Him - he seems to be a conduit, possibly being used by phil to properly perform anything (which also probably helped with his resurrection and eyesight improvement), he has uncontrollable actions from time to time

the sigils themselves - what do they all mean? what could they mean in a bigger, symbolic context? anyone that understands them pls explain to my aspic brain

the entire place fucking burns down after the ritual is complete and they're embraced by Him - it's clear at least to me that the shed is set on fire at the end of the video, cutting off further possible footage

dan doesn't put blood on phil's forehead during the ritual - might've just been a slipup during filming but we also dont see the blood dan put on his own forehead once he arrives and theyre all standing up in the pentagram

also just a couple fun facts:

the number on the case file when converted to corresponding letters of the alphabet spell out "satan"

what dan says in his reversed clip is just "thanks!", nothing is really said in the reversed clip of phil opening the shed door its juts kinda a random noise someone made

Aaaaand some misc nonsense crackpot theories/ideas/thoughts/brain vomit that my brain keeps me awake at night with (optional reading):

if the demon taking them at the end is actually baphomet and not just some generalized idea of satan, then "mother" could be another way to refer to "him" since baphomet is portrayed as having both female and male characteristics (bobs n pennies)

personally this is scarier/more unnerving than the actual blair witch project for some reason

my bathroom sink is the one sink you cant ship

i want a dapc for those dolls they hung everywhere

is cataloguing all of the ritual setup part of the craft channel's purpose?

what was the reason for summoning him? did they bring him to our plane of existence to just let him absorb these two brink-of-twinks and then use their gay power to torment the straights?

oh that rope is just his belt thing not rope tying dip and pip together

i think this is a good wrap-up idk what they could do in a part 5 to conclude things better

[kickbutts-singsongs]

I know no one asked, but I have exactly zero (0) people to talk about bkdk with irl so here you guys go

My BKDK Journey

Yes, this sounds stupid, but my god it’s been almost three years of an absolute rollercoaster of feelings and denials and tears and revelations…

and if you don’t mind, I’m gonna rant about it.

(not spoiler free)

_____

May 2021

To start off, i wasn’t always a bkdk shipper.

I shipped izu*cha at first (not saying it’s a bad ship btw; it’s actually quite cute. im just afraid people’ll be mad if I accidentally invade their tag lol), primarily because I assumed that would be the ship that became canon.

But also, my veryyyyy leasttttt favorite character… was Bakugou Katsuki.

When I tell you that I would’ve loved nothing more than to somehow spawn into the bnha universe and punch that brat in the face— AGHHHHHHHHHH

Now this wasn’t all his fault: A) I watched the dub first lol, and B) he reminded me of someone that i was not in a place to stand up to at the time, and his constant anger, yelling, and harsh treatment of Izuku—who i began to relate to—made me hateeee him.

There was a time when I literally said “if he died, I wouldn’t miss him.” <- this was later proven false lol

So, I was watching the anime dub with an absolute animosity for our resident deuteragonist, but on top of that…

I was watching it with a friend with a crunchyroll account who lived in another state that I was visiting and staying with for two weeks, so by the time i had to go back home, we’d only gotten up to the part where All Might was getting Inko’s permission to let Izuku stay at the UA dorms.

Anddddddd in my drive to consume more bnha once I got home, i somehow stumbled across an Instagram account that posted bnha sub episodes divided into parts,

but they only had season four and onwards.

Sooooo I never saw the second half of season three… more importantly,

I NEVER SAW DEKU VS KACCHAN 2!!!!!

(I will say that I had seen a couple photos/edits/etc, but I never knew what had been said, or why they fought)

_____

June 2021

At this point in time, I’d been exposed to a lot of the fandom. My fyp on both IG and Pinterest were filled to the brim with all things bnha (because this is what happens when one has a hyperfixation), so I saw a lot of stuff.

Especially fanart.

This is where I started learning about the different ships.

I saw a lot of the side character ships and thought they were adorable (kamijirou, todomomo, even kiribaku), but then I saw some with Izuku.

Izu*cha was a given for me. I didn’t think there was a single person that didn’t ship it. But then I started seeing fanart of ships like tododeku, shindeku, and bakudeku.

And my first reaction to finding out that people shipped my beautiful baby sunshine boi with the person who bullied him for years?????

HELLLLLLLLLLL NO

So with my (unknowingly) limited knowledge of their relationship, i was very much an anti (i never spoke out or anything, i just reallyyyy didn’t like the ship lol)

(And then, you know, I started to see all the bkdk hate online and kinda went “okay not touching that”)

But that began to change…

_____

August 2021

…after I saw a manga leak for the first time.

I was scrolling thru my feed and all of a sudden. BOOM!

I was like 😧

IS THAT IZUKU?????

And i looked in the comments and yes it was.

I checked out the page and found that they had an entire account of manga leaks and was so happy.

I quickly began to read from the very bottom of that account, and it started from right about where Izuku first began his vigilante arc (i had no idea how much was in between then and where I left off on the anime, but I was willing to read it lol)

And so I waited diligently for the leaks every week (a practice I have continued to uphold lol), until one day, i came across an untranslated series of panels from the latest chapter. I looked at it and it was of Katsuki and Izuku, facing each other in the rain (you know the one). I knew the leaks would be coming a day later, but I wanted to look through them anyways, so I did.

I didn’t understand a word they said, but the pictures and imagery of them as kids then middle schoolers then where they were now seemed so touching…

And then I came across a pair of kanji that I recognized.

I was like “wait WHAT???”

I zoomed in and went “that— isn’t that—? That’s part of Midoriya’s name, right???”

And then I was like “wait a second… omg that’s Izuku, isn’t it. That’s the freaking kanji for Izuku.”

And it was!!!!!

So inside I’m having a mini freakout cuz—

Bakugou just called him IZUKU

Fast forward to the next day, and I looked at the translated version, and found out that not only did he call him Izuku,

He

Freaking

APOLOGIZED

And I was like “huhhhhhhh”

What happened between now and the most recent anime episodes for this to occur???? For Bakugou to do a complete 180 and apologize????????

Well, I finally got my answers…

_____

November 2021

…when I started reading the manga.

I started from the beginning, cuz I wanted to see Horikoshi’s art style and the extra drawings and all the other stuff…

And when I tell you that Katsuki became a whole new character to me—

First, I read everything about early-on Bakugou— without hearing him yell in his dub voice—and realized “oh wow he really is just a kid with issues and a worldview that he’s now having to change.”

Then, I finally read what happened in that space between moving into the dorms and the beginning of season four (most importantly, DvK2).

Cried.

Then, oh then, I got up to where season five ended and the rest of the manga began.

. . .

Funny thing: back when I read the leaks to ch322, I remember thinking to myself, “huh. what did Bakugou mean by Shigaraki making swiss cheese outta him?”

😦

THE WAY I GASPED

AND THEN CRIED

OH MY FREAKING GOD

That was the moment where i truly ceased to hate Katsuki cuz holy character development batman

Then, of course, we see them in recovery

And then the vigilante arc and apology scene *sobs*

And then I was caught up.

(Btw I finished the entire manga up ‘til ch334 in just over a week. I read for nine days straight. During the school year. My emotions were all over the place goodness gracious I could barely concentrate.)

So that’s how I went from being a Bakugou hater to going “you know what he’s a complex character and he’s slowly becoming a better person” and realizing that he was now one of my fav characters and therefore cursed to die but I’ll talk about that later

Was I now a bakudeku shipper?

Hah nope.

_____

December 2021

I began my dive into the true essence of any fandom: fanfiction.

Over the course of winter break, I had started off with fics that had no romantic pairing (I just wanted to see my boi Izuku), but then somehow stumbled across Mastermind: Strategist for Hire and then read the entirety of the For Want of a Nail series (shoutout to Clouds btw ❤️) cuz I was like “ok whew no bkdk fics” which was my mindset at the time.

But somehow (I can’t even remember how I found it) I came across a bkdk fic. It was called For Want of Izuku’s Toe Joint by Talavin (okay now that I think about it there’s probably a simple explanation lol).

I don’t quite know what compelled me to start reading it, but I did.

And I really liked it.

But not in the “I’ve been converted” kinda way.

It was like an “I shouldn’t be enjoying this why am I enjoying this?” kinda feeling. Like my head says no but my heart says yeah.

A really really really really guilty pleasure.

So, from that day on, whenever I came across any form of bkdk media, I would simultaneously feel discomfort and yet an odd sense of satisfaction.

A snippet of my daily life:

Me: *comes across bkdk fanart on pinterest*

Me: eww

Also me: *stares at it for like five minutes straight*

Me: who even likes this?

Also me: *saves pin to my mha board*

Me: not my ship

Also me: *scrolls down to more like this*

Bless my heart I was in such denial.

_____

July 2022

Bit of a timeskip, but nothing of note really happened in those last six months so here we go.

We’ve gotten to the point in the manga where the final arc is underway and Bakugou is about to KICK SOME BUTT

He’s revealed his Panser Strafe support item and I’m gushing about it to my friend (she kinda fell out of the fandom but still tolerated my rants bless her)

Oh, side note: it was then that I also expressed my concern for Bakugou’s “alive” status

Evidence:

For reference, some of my favorite characters are:

Beth March (Little Women)

John Reese (Person of Interest)

Joss Carter (Person of Interest)

Leonard Snart (Arrowverse)

Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars)

Fantine (Les Mis)

Eponine (Les Mis)

Jean Valjean (Les Mis)

Simon (Lord of the Flies)

Piggy (Lord of the Flies)

Grace Stone (Manifest)

Bubaigawara Jin — Twice (BNHA)

Wanna guess which of these guys died?

Trick question! It’s all of them (:

Yeah so anyways those following chapters really made me excited and nervous cuz YEAH KICK HIS ASS BAKUGOU but also IZUKUUUUU WE NEED YOU

hah hah.

_____

August 2022

Utterly gobsmacked. Cried. Disbelief. Horrified. Confusion. Anger. Went through the five stages of grief and then some.

Sometimes I hate being right 🥲

But the good thing that came from this was that my positive view of Katsuki only grew after seeing his utter faith in Izuku (and his thoughts being on him in his final moments???? 🥺🥺🥺)

And it was at this point in time where I could admit to myself “you know what? i see it. i see the appeal. i wouldn’t mind this actually becoming canon.”

Did I think that it would actually become canon?? No.

_____

September 2022

I don’t know how I thought Izuku was gonna react to seeing Katsuki’s body on the ground, but GOOD LORD IT WASNT THAT

Even sweet little blind me realized “oh wow he like really feels intense stuff for Katsuki huh”

(But some things I missed—cuz I was still a bit wired for izu*cha—were shigarakis implications “yeah u looooove the present I got u” and the freaking HEART that blackwhip caused??? when Izuku reeled himself back in???? like how did i miss that i read that chapter like fifteen times??)

So this is all to say that I’ve missed any and all actual bkdk hints up until this point. I finally lifted my head out of the izu*cha fog when…

_____

July 2023

…Ochako and Toga had their chat about romance.

The first actual hint was when Ochako had told Toga “I’ll give you my blood for the rest of my life.”

Little blind me became a bit less blind that day, cuz I was like “um. ochako? that— that sounded kinda like a proposal. like. a marriage proposal. ochako??”

And then those chapters just kept getting better!!

Bebe Ochako’s determination???

The Spirited Away moment?????

“I’m envious of your smile”????????

“YOU REALLY THINK IM CUTE?” “THE CUTEST IN THE WHOLE WORLD” LIKE 😭😭😭😭😭

For the first time, I was looking at the manga without the assumption that izu*cha would be endgame. And it only got better after I…

_____

August 2023

…got Tumblr!!!

Everything was downhill from here folks.

In the best possible way.

I came across some analyses of what was going on with togachako, and consequently led me to some bakudeku analyses. I read them and my goodness they made so much sense.

Like not even just personality-wise!! Those metas brought in actual things Horikoshi said about wanting to go outside the norms of shounen (and about not liking the Naruto ending 💀), and compared bkdk to tropes in different works of fiction, and even discussed how bkdk made sense narratively. They properly convinced me of the ship.

And then for good measure, I reread the manga in its entirety thru a bkdk filter, and lo and behold things took on new meanings and my eyes were opened.

I totally and irrevocably shipped them! And I actually thought they had a chance at being canon!!

(And then I binged so much bkdk fanfiction omg you wouldn’t BELIEVE like I read the ones with the highest kudos first and then just picked the biggest collections I could find and read down the line

It was like being on drugs like each fic gave me more dopamine than the last I was so happy oh my god)

_____

October 2023

And then finally, the day came.

The answer to “is bakugou alive yet?” became a yes.

We screamed. We cried. We jumped for joy. We told bakugou antis to suck it. But most of all, our bkdk hearts soared to see our boys make eye contact with each other for the first time in over a year 🥹

And from that moment on, I truly began to believe that bkdk would indeed become canon.

_____

And so, this concludes my 42672288 page rant about how I came to be a bkdk shipper.

Thank you for reading, and before I go, I want to ask:

How did you guys get into bkdk?

Did you convert over from izu*cha? Or perhaps tododeku? Or maybe kiribaku? Or are you one of the few who have shipped them since the beginning??

In any case, I’m happy you’re here. And while it may have taken me a couple years, I’m happy that I’m here too :)

(and thank you @animelover32456)

[allicat0]

i loved your poe fic!

could you write a fic with captain rex maybe

one with a female jedi reader who sucks him off in a storage closet while they try not to get found out by the rest of the 501st

and maybe the helmet stays on…

Swear you’ll never tell

♡ Ans: Thank you so much, that’s so kind! Also, totally! I’ll give it my best shot, thanks so much for requesting btw.

♡ Summary: when you and a certain Clone meet every now and again to help each other out you must commence in secrecy. (Also I made captain Rex a little mean in this one, which I know isn’t exactly him. But I think of his sternness is more job driven)

♡ Content: MDNI, 18+, afab, smut, blowjobs, face-fucking, oral, praise, Hand-job,

♡ A/N: okay because I was kicking my feet giggling while writing this, I love captain Rex! Hope you guys enjoy!

There was no doubt that Captain Rex's presence brought a sense of reassurance and stability. His years of experience and leadership were evident in the way he could effortlessly fall back into the rhythm of operations without trouble. There was a certain aura of calm competence that surrounded him, a quiet assurance that everything would be handled with precision and expertise now that he was back. His familiar voice, filled with determination and resolve, cut through the air of the corridors of the ship as he caught up on the latest developments and seamlessly integrated himself back into the fold. The camaraderie and trust that had been so easily built between you and the rest of his squadron over countless missions were reaffirmed in that moment, constantly reminding us all of the strength he had over this team.

Rex carried himself with respectable manners, but under all the layers presenting himself as a good soldier, there was a secret he’d been struggling to keep. Rex doesn’t like to lie and the weight of a lie weighs heavily on the soul. Oddly enough there's a strange comfort in the familiarity of a secret, a twisted sense of control in knowing something others do not. But beneath his facade of composure lies a sea of emotions, a constant battle between the desire to confess and the fear of consequences, each day adding another layer to the intricate web of deception.

But despite his fear of getting caught he couldn’t help coming back to you each and every time he needed help dealing with. .unfinished business. When he returned back from his mission it didn't take long for him to get his hands on you, pulling you into the closest private area the two of you could find. As a Jedi, it is said that you must be faithful to the spirit of code, putting one’s selfish desires first is against the way of force. A Jedi must follow in order to stay true to oneself, especially when it comes to romantic relations. Though it was said if it was a pure attachment, there was no harm. So what's the problem in having a little fun?

So there you were, hiding away somewhere throughout the ship, in a cramped storage closet down on your knees for your second in command with his cock in hand. How it was a sight to see. You leaned in and placed a soft kiss against the tip of his cock causing it to jerk from the sensation. “I’ve missed you” You said to him softly. Rex looked down at you, watching as you would specifically choose the next spot to place a kiss on his cock, paying close attention, each time waiting for the impact of your soft lips to meet his sensitive shaft. “Mphm i’ve missed you too” He said through the back of his throat doing his best to keep any unwanted sounds to escape as he spoke back to you, the last thing he wanted was for people to hear the two of you through the door.

These moments that were shared between you and Rex were never rushed, especially if it had been some time since the two of you last saw each other, you made sure to give him whatever it was he possibly wanted. Your lips hollowed around the head of his cock, your tongue sliding against the base, feeling each and every one of the veins running along the base, pulsing with every stroke. You were always so gentle, but sometimes too gentle. . to patient. Don’t get him wrong Rex loved how much care you put into pleasing him but sometimes, all he wanted was to throat fuck you, watching as your tears streamed down you face, drooling like crazy over his cock.

His hands would travel down to the back of your head. Reaching down, his fingers entangling with your hair. Rex was growing impatient and wanted to see just how much control he could have over this situation. He started pushing your head further down the length of his cock, directing your head, forcing it to pick up to pace. The sudden push caused you to choke down on him, but unlike normally he didn’t let you back up for air. He needed to throat fuck you and your pretty face.

Rex’s hips began helping with the process, thrusting himself deeper into the back of your throat, the tears in your eyes began to brim from the constant gagging. “Awh fuck, such a good girl for me” He spoke out to you in a breathy groan, doing his best to keep quiet. Your hands gripped onto his thighs tight, your nails digging into his flesh doing your best to gain some traction. As he continued to pump into the back of your throat, it wasn’t long before you began rapidly patting his thighs, signalling him to let you breathe. Rex pulled his cock out of your mouth, you gasped out for air as strings of saliva broke from the separation. You grabbed the base of his cock, and continued to pump it rapidly as you caught your breath. After a quick breather you were ready to put his cock back in your mouth, he was quick to grab the back of your head, thrusting himself back into the depths of your throat once more.

“Look at me,” he said sternly and that you did. You were obedient, you listened to his command, it drove him insane. “Such a good girl, Look how well you take my cock” Rex said praising you, his words caused your stomach to flutter, his praise was enough to make you cum alone. You looked up at him through your lashes, tears streaming down your face, this was a sight to see and if he was honest he didn’t want it to end not now, not ever. His head rolled back, clenching his jaw as his breathing became hitched. Rex pushed your head back quickly, giving you just enough time for you to get a breath of air before pushing you back down on him once again. His gaze never left the sight of his thick cock getting buried deep into the back of your throat, as he rammed himself into you.

“Ah. thats it baby” he groaned, his thrusts were becoming sloppy, you could feel it, he was growing close, getting ready to shoot his cum down the back of your throat. Muffled moans escaped your mouth, sending vibrations throughout his cock “shit “ he cursed under his breath, he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep going, he was getting closer by the second.

He pulled back, freeing you, allowing you to breathe. His one hand gripped his cock jerking himself off while the other moved up to your face, his thumb placing it against your lips, forcefully opening your mouth. His thumb pressed down on your tongue holding your mouth open. Rex was on the edge getting ready to release, in a few quick movements he placed his cock just above your mouth. “Stick your tongue out for me baby” he asked you softly and that you did. Sticking your tongue out, watching as he gave his cock a few more pumps feeling his hot cum fall onto your tongue. Rex let out a few loose pants before his hands gripped your hair, pulling your head back to get a better view of your face. “swallow” closing your mouth you did what you were told and swallowed his cum. A smirk coming across his face, releasing your hair and gripping your face squishing your cheeks together “good girl” he pushed your face away from his hands.

Rex was swift to clean himself up, putting the bottom half of his armour back on. He looked down at you, still there on your knees. “Get cleaned up, we have a meeting to attend” and just like that, he opened the storage closet door, slipping out and leaving you there in your own thoughts

@allicat0 signing off . .

[gomzdrawfr]

want to join the fandom cause it seems fun seeing fanarts and you and others interacting but I don't know how...and with the whole ai thing im scared...

my advice: just do it

really! sometimes all you really need is a leap of faith, and that was exactly how I dropped into the cod fandom. When I joined the ghoap discord server I talked to one of the artist I really like and respected from my lurking time (hi @bressynonym) aaaand the rest is history

I didnt know how to draw properly, nor digitally, all I did was scribbling on OneNote (yeah!) and rambled about cod characters, it is daunting and it is scary to interact but after a while? you may just be able to find someone to brainrot together with

start small, like commenting, reblogging, talking, chatting- doesn't have to be towards artist/writers, it could be the art/fic enjoyers!

you need to put yourself out there if you want something

as to if you want to start in the fandom as a creator, here's some more tips (which are all based on my experience, I am no pro at doing this, hell Im still learning myself, and I am by no means speaking these on behalf on others!)

establish a goal: what are you making? fandom based? original creations?

as with starting new, everything may take a while for stuff to happen, you'll feel like you're speaking to the void at times (esp with original arts, but do know that your stuff do get perceive by others as time goes, I would advise to draw fandom stuff as a beginning to get that boost going if you want! or else it's going to be quite hard to get things rolling)

imo this is hardest part of any new creator, you'll have to bear with it and try not to give up (but I understand how incredibly demotivating it could get, there were times when I stopped posting about Raven entirely, but eventually I post it anyway cuz surely someone out there will like them, it just takes a lot of patiences and perseverance)

btw, engagement can also vary from time to time, you may be booming for a bit, then suddenly you dont, it is a cycle that will bound to happen

take rest regularly, and I mean a break from social media because numbers, discourse and everything can get to you, very quickly (I cannot emphasise this enough)

the numbers are not worth it over your mental health (comes with practice to really solidify this thought)

study the algorithm (pain): see what other creators are doing to get where they are, what tags are they using in their post? what features/niche do people like?(this is, if you really want to grab some form of engagement, bcuz reminder in the end you are creating art for yourself first!)

example: I think posts would get more reach if you tag it with the ship name first, followed by the characters' name (doesn't work all the time tho)

that's the thing about algorithm, it is ever-changing, and you'll have to learn to adapt with it when it does!

expanding on that, studying algorithm could be about ships (for example, ghostsoap is most popular in the fandom), or really good rendered art/flashed out fic that leaves your jaw on the floor, or ships that gets lesser attention in general which puts you, who make content about them, easier to be brought into the light (like Faralex)

bUT, it can also be personality!

(again, not saying this is meant for everyone and strictly from my own experience + what I observe) for me, I made up the lack of my art by establishing a personality: a wild panda who yaps about price and their oc and also kinda everywhere in the place (just like this post LOL), OR you're the person who named themselves after Soap's ash particle number OR you're the one who likes bottom Ghost- literally anything goes, you want to make an impression in different ways, some more funny/goofier than others but it works (be mindful and stay respectful tho, dont wanna be the asshole in the fandom now do ya?)

efforts ≠ engagement (not all the time, but most time) and this is a fact. Sometimes, you can't expect a piece you did for 10+ hours to get thousands views and likes, especially in a fandom space. You need to understand algorithm is that wonky. (very disheartening, but again, you make the art for you and the few others who genuinely likes them, and those people can go a long way) be mentally prepared for such events, and try not to beat yourself up too much for it

ultimately tho, do it, do it scared but do it anyways and again, draw the things that bring you joy, I hope these could be helpful in some ways!

[cosmic-ghost-hermit]

Hey there friends! This reading is meant to be shadow work. The demon represents your shadow self or the parts of you that are rejected by you or others. The angel represents your higher self and the advice they have to integrates that shadow more. Please take what resonates and leave all that doesn't behind. Please be open to new perspectives, especially for this reading. Thank you so much for filling my ask-box btw i will do my best to make sure everyone gets their questions answered.

PILE 1

Crystal: Obsidian Chunk

Astrology: Aries ♈️, Capricorn ♑️, Sagittarius ♐️, Cancer ♋️

😈Demon/Shadow-Self: Bael (Emperor)

The demon on your shoulder makes you extremely powerful and capable of controlling of both yourself and others. It also make you a very hard worker and talented at multitasking. Hard work is important sometimes but it seems you overwork yourself a lot. That usually ends in loneliness and resentment. Even though it makes you a very reliable person to be around I see people abuse your skill to work hard. In the past people have use it as a time to slack off. Which has caused your shadow self to build tall walls around you. That is a lonely experience, my friend. This shadow reminds me of Tiana from Princess and the Frog. She works so hard and has no play.

✍️You: Ace of Wands

Your demon and angel work very well together. Your shadow self might need some attention from you and some trust put into it. You shadow is very useful and powerful. I think you might belittle it’s feelings though. Remember you aren’t alone and making yourself alone isn’t going to feel good. You can rely on others. The people you can’t rely on do not deserve your power. You are bright as a sun and have the ability to conjure everything from nothing. That is truly special and needs to be respected.

😇Angel/Higher-Self: Nanael (10 of Wands)

Your angel sees your shadow very clearly and has just the remedy for it. Your higher self instructs you to become an instructor. Instead of using your extraordinary energy levels to do more work. Use it to teach others how to do what you do instead of doing it for them. If they are unwilling to learn then they are not worthy of your time or your extra energy. Use that extra power on what you want. Your desires are in your grasp. You just have to allow yourself to make time for yourself and let go of taking card of people who do not appreciate you.

❤️‍🔥🖤🩶📌🧮✂️🐧🦏🧨🪓🥊🍷☄️🥀🍄🪨🕸️🕷️🦊⛑️🧣🥽💄

PILE 2

Crystal: Moss Agate Tower

Astrology: Libra ♎️, Scorpio ♏️, Gemini ♊️, Aquarius ♒️

😈Demon/Shadow-Self: Beleth (Knight of Cups)

Your demon is such a seductive energy. I see you might be bisexual or pansexual. They have the capacity to be romantic but definitely know how to jump ship. Mayb at one point you were a hopeless romantic. Your shadow has learned well how to tell when not to put on your rose colored glasses. Unfortunately, your shadow is struggling with commitment because of this behavior. They are scared to let your heart be free to love. Free to be loved. Your demon makes you run at the sight of true endearments because in your previous experiences it wasn’t true endearment even when it looked like it. Don’t you see your demon mirrors those who hurt you! Being played doesn’t mean you should become a player.

🤲You: 8 of Swords

My dear friend, you are safe. You are safe to be loved. You are afraid but there is nothing to fear. You fear is based on the past but you live in the now. You have access to all the true love you could imagine! Please don’t run away from people who care about you. You deserve kindness. You deserve endearment. You deserve what you heart craves so badly! Please allow yourself to be vulnerable. It is safe.

😇Angel/Higher-Self: Umabel (Ace of Swords)

Your higher self advises you to start being vulnerable with your friends first. Test out the waters of vulnerability with those you trust but do not lend your body too. Don’t just tell them about your hurt, cry with them about it. Show emotions with your friends. You have so many people around you who adore you and want to help you. Allow them to be your shoulder to cry on.

💙💜🩷🧿🔮🎀🫐🍆🍧🌊🪻🌷🦋🦄🦩🪼👾👄🧢🌂👛🚹🚺💖⚧️

PILE 3

Crystal: Aura Howlite Tower

Astrology: Taurus ♉️, Leo ♌️, Virgo ♍️, Pisces ♓️

😈Demon/Shadow-Self: Gremory (Empress)

Your demon my friend is a femme-fatale through and through. Your shadow uses feminine charm to get everything it wants. I think your problem is actually deciding what it is you desire. Your demon has every capability to receive anything. You just don’t know what that is because ‘anything’ is a lot of options. So many options can be very overwhelming. There is so much to choose! It could all be yours.

👋You: Page of Wands

Your demon and angel makes you feel untouchable but kind of overwhelmed. Having so much power at your fingertips is intimidating to you. You might have a little bit of imposter syndrome and think you aren’t as capable as you truly are. I also see you might feel extremely complex because your feminine charm isn’t a huge part of who you truly are. I see you could be nonbinary. Remember your femininity is only a part of you and not the whole picture. You can be so much more than a pretty face with honey soaked words.

😇Angel/Higher-Self: Habuhiah (9 of Cups)

Your angel wants you to know you are doing so well. They tell me you have been criticized or harmed for literally only being exactly what you were asked to be. Your higher-self has no advice for you besides you are perfect as you are. All you need to do is keep being yourself. Keep existing authentically and don’t give too much to people who wish to harm you.

♠️🖤🗝️🎥💻♟️🎮🕶️🤍☠️👻🎹🎧💬🎲🏳️💛🍯🍋🌻✨💫⭐️💜🪻🔮🟣😈👾🌂🍆💟

Thank you so much again for supporting me!

-ghost 🤍🩵🖤

[theondnonly]

it's only been 3-4 days and I still am in a break but holy moly bro, the Zerum with Sebastian situation is mad crazy.

usually I avoid drama in fandom, but I think I should give a piece of opinion this time. Why are y'all so mad that Sebastian is canonly married? Or is that even what y'all are mad with at this point? I get it, Zerum made a lot of "irritated" choices, but Sebastian is still rightfully HERS and still is HER character, if she wants him to be taken, then so be it, the fact that she have to deal with many hate and d3@th thr3@t over wanting HER character to be taken/not single,it is insane.

I do not want to sugarcoated or take sides either, what she did is unprofessional and immature, but I still don't think she deserves to be treated so badly by the fandom. "But Zerum doesn't want us to self-ship with her character!!!! She doesn't want us to have fun!!!" Last time I checked, Zerum doesn't want to have selfship IN THE DISCORD SERVER, and if you're on the server, follow the rules or just simply leave? You can still post it freely on any platform (take this as a grain of salt tho since my memory isn't the best, feel free to tell me if I'm talking stupid)

and who cares if he's married, bro y'all can literally make an AU where he is still single and a silly fish guy who sells items for the expandable like I did, it's not that difficult, use your brain come on. I see people make AUs, change a character's design/personality, and ship them with someone from a different fandom, nobody will bait an eyes

last thing, I'm sick and tired of people seeing one small misinformation about Zerum, and immediately agree on it just to hate on her, friendly reminder she's still human, she has feelings too, and maybe a lot of irl problem, can we please be a decent human and leave her alone? She is gatekeeping HER character, not murdering someone.

I do not agree with Zerum's choices, but I still wish her the best after everything, she doesn't deserve to be ridiculed imo, I know this isn't gonna change much, but a tiny voice is better than being silent forever.

I apologize if this is a long rant/post and the wording is hard to read btw, I'm not good with writing or make a lot of sense out of it, but I hope you get what I'm trying to say

TLDR : Zerum's action is immature, sure, but the way the fandom treats her over a fictional character is stupid.

[bjlightningbeast]

Why do some folks constantly keep denying that SonAmy is canon (Semi-Canon at least)?

I mean, yeah they're not actually a couple (at least not traditionally), I know that, but it has been confirmed multiple times that Sonic shares his feelings for Amy just as much as she does, only difference is that he keeps his to himself as he's shy about it and doesn't understand the concept of romance. Not to mention, she was literally created to be the love interest, whether you like it or not. This has been a fact for a long time now, especially nowadays where it's much more specific, and yet people are still in denial of this. Sonic is obviously not interested in a relationship, but that won't prevent him from catching feelings for someone. You can like someone while still not having an interest in something more, at least for the moment.

In the trial of love mission in Sonic 06, Amy was literally referred to as Sonic's "Long-time love," meaning Sonic has loved Amy for a long time up til that point and still today. You can try and cover it up as fanservice or the host of the mission just assuming things all you want, but just to remind you, Sonic Team could have just taken this out and it wouldn't matter, but yet chose to leave it in, which is obviously saying something.

In Sonic Frontiers, we get two dialogue that heavily imply how Sonic feels about Amy. One of them have him saying, "He wishes to share an umbrella with Amy," and "How he should've made up my mind sooner." The "umbrella" one is the most obvious one, as sharing an umbrella is a usual romantic gesture. You can try to cover up with him, meaning it as a friendly gesture or whatever, but then in that case, why not say the same for Tails or Knuckles? in fact, why say it at all if he just sees her as a friend, hmm (btw these are in the games, they're not cut content)? It's kind of an odd thing to think or say about a friend who you see nothing more than just a friend, isn't it?

I know many are going to bring the moments where Amy has chased Sonic, and it always ends with Sonic running away. Ok, but there's something that a LOT of them have failed to notice... why isn't he going supersonic? No, for real, how come he never speeds up whenever he's been chased. Cause everytime, the chase happens, he is not running at full speed, and Amy can't run as fast as he can. If he's really bothered by Amy at all, he would be running at the other side of the planet at the speed of light with no chance of Amy catching him. He can easily do that, but yet chooses to slow down for her, which again is obviously saying something.

I can go on about this, but I think I made my point across. It honestly baffles me how some people still refuse to believe there is anything going on between Sonic and Amy, and sometimes it's usually the people who prefer to ship them with other characters. It just seems like ya'll are coping, at this point.

Just needed to get this off my chest. Look, you don't have to like them or anything. You're free to ship whatever, but trying to dismiss it as one-sided or a fan ship when it's has been long confirmed to be official is just plain denial.

[goodolddumbbanana]

I just remembered something, when Sun went to Nothing happens!universe, alt!Moon mistakes him (at first) for these Sun have portals.

Which means, not only Dark Sun, but still a number variant of Suns, who possessed the same intelligence or, maybe gain his knowledge from eating their Moon.

So, where are they? Where are these Sun? Why does nobody know about them, and why see-all people still concede Sun as Dumb or Useless?

Because in the strangest way just like Earth, whom the evilest version of her just her being president, Sun normally doesn't have evil variants, cuz even Puppet is surprised about him and unable to read Dark Sun. (We didn't see cringe!Dark Sun in cringe dimension proves my point)

I think someone has killed them. The amount of smart Sun has already been terminated, and only the small mounts like Dark Sun and someone honestly just like to hide and being alone. Maybe by Creators because honestly, even Creator hates Sun the most, he seems... I don't know how to describe it, speak to Sun with closure.

(you know the way your parents always say you are disappointed but still they know and acknowledge your abilities? And the possibility that Herry is the want who used to work with Creator? What if Sun is the result of a divorced and herry never paid his child support leading Creator feeling salty about Sun because he reminds him so much about Herry? So he needs to dumb Sun down?)

Cuz Dark Sun seems very confident when he says it only the matter of time when a Sun snapped, and Sun shares the same opinions when he said to alt!Moon this alt!Sun would never grow backbone in that way and he just grew out of being happy like it is the fate of a Sun, suffering and dead or suffering and living out of sprite.

Btw, New Moon's name is so cringe. I wonder what plan they will do with Nexus. Because as I was saying before, Nexus would become a new villain but for how long and does him even have a redemption arc now?

Surely because of the comeback of the Old Moon, Nexus would stay the same like right now as his personality still roaming in his teenage phase.

But then what? Will he still roam free and don't care about anything like right now? (Making new friends and abandoning his old so-called family just because he is obsessed with the idea of being himself, just like Eclipse v1 just lives out of sprite because he wants to avenge Old Moon?) and then die as a villain, again and again, or just get out of the narrative like Eclipse V4?

Or he slowly but surely will have his redemption arc and has 'oh shit, I still care' moment with Sun and he gives up becoming such a deranged?

Nexus says he doesn't care about anyone anymore, what if because of that he will hurt Sun above his imagination to prove a point?

Because since when Nexus wakes up, Sun is the person Nexus has been focusing on the most.

He takes care of Sun when he has mental breakdown moments, he snapped at Sun when he realised Sun is lying to him but still went and rescued him. He and Sun get yeet in Ruin dimension and yet instead of angry and tired with Sun like some people, they are hand-in-hand (not ship) and face the world. Nexus always reminds Sun he is the person Nexus trust most and Nexus can't lose Sun. He even almost spilled the bean to Sun when they talked about how to bring Solar back and hit the wall several times to get out of the nightmare when Sun died. He even kneed down and begged Eclipse V4 to know where Sun was and his Old self always nagging at Nexus to protect Sun. He honestly tries better just for Sun and when Sun said he was disappointed at Nexus, Nexus seems like cool-down a little bit, and even trying to convince Sun to let him out or just let him do it for the family, kill Bloodmoon and save Solar.

The last conversation they have seems to be more civilised than I imagined. Never once, Nexus yelled at Sun. He spoke with Sun in a soft, slow voice, like he was still aware how much Sun is afraid of loud noise.

Like sure, Nexus still hit Sun right in the chest with all the bullshit that he said, but unlike with Earth, when he shut her down right away by calling her name and tossing her aside like an unwanted damage; he still trauma dumping with Sun, he still talked a little bit of his feelings to Sun, about his plan, etc...

And sure all the things he said were terrible but I think it can be worse with Sun. Which means even though Nexus doesn't care, he still cares about Sun like an instinct.

(I think he was talking the truth to some degree when he said he is indifferent about others. Nexus was numbing all his feelings since Solar died, and actively did it worse in order to surpass his old self, which leads to him so exhausted that he is unable to care about the others and wants to throw all of his relationships away.)

Bet the feeling of Nexus for Sun right now is so conflict with a lot of resentment and careness. Because on one side, Nexus still cares about Sun to some degree which maybe if Sun dead, he would feel guilty and maybe feel sad and snapped his actions for a moment. On the other hand, he wants to distance himself from what A Moon calls a Moon, and get rid of all Moon's nagging and want before, like his policy about protecting family in general and Sun in particular.

Like how he even asks Dark Sun why Dark Sun doesn't like to change his name, to separate the image of Sun and Dark Sun. It's almost like Nexus doesn't want Dark Sun to remind him of Sun at all and he still craves the love and agreement of somebody, seeing how he compliments Dark Sun's home and his dog guard...

If Nexus and Sun meet again, I don't think things would end well. Either Nexus would nonchalant say he never cared about Sun and all the time they spend together he was forced and was affected by the Old Moon and tried to hurt Sun because Sun got involved in his plan or just pure his selfishness want to make a point.

Or, he would be angry and snap back at Sun and just do the same actions like I said above.

And Sun...

Out of all people, only Sun, I think only Sun still cares about Nexus and understands him deeply, which leads him to definitely feel guilty, shocked and hollow to seeing his use to be brother go down in such manners.

(because Earth doesn't want to do anything with Nexus since he almost killed her. And she has a higher intelligence emotions level to know She deserves better than this and she wouldn't spend more time to blame herself because of what happened to Nexus. Lunar after killing Eclipse, realized it is not worth it to spend time with people who choose to be terrible, will definitely move on soon.)

Sun,... I don't think this time if Sun meets Nexus again, Sun would just stand by and do nothing. I think, this time, Sun may try to defend himself. Either in the "oppsie silly me, I accidentally killed Moon again" moment, or... Just straight out blasting Nexus.

And The way Nexus sees Sun no longer cares about him, would definitely hurt Nexus inside.

May he become deranged more, or will think back of what he did, that is what time would tell.

[wilcze-kudly]

Beifong babies appreciation post

This is gonna be a more self indulgent post. But if you spend any time on my blog, you know how much I adore the Beifong family, particularly Suyin and her children. And you know what I don't see enough appreciation for Suyin's babies, which makes sense, since they're side characters, but here's a lil ramble about them and some reasons why I love them.

Baatar Jr

Actually, I think Baatar is actually a very underutilised character for being Kuvira's supposed right hand man, as well as her fiancé.

He's technically the brains behind Kuvira's collosus, and probably much more.

As damaging as living in his father's shadow was for him, I do find it extremely adorable how he engineered all Baatar Sr's projects, it's really cute!

His loyalty to Kuvira and his love for her is admirable. It's honestly adorable, how much she means to him.

Btw mans stared into Korra's eyes while she threatened him im the Avatar state and laughed. Say what you want about him but he has balls.

The angst surrounding his involvement with Kuvira is absolutely delicious.

Like imagine turning your back on everyone you know and love for one person, only for then to turn on you and try to kill you with upur own creation?

And then everything you've worked for for 3 years is null and void? Gnarly

Also him being under house arrest with the family he betrayed? You could argue he got off really easy, which he did... but goodness gracious the angst.

Huan

I'm like 75% sure that he's a reference to The Dark One, one of Toph's metalbending students, which is actually really fun I love you emo metalbenders.

I always found non combative benders very interesting, especially when they use their bending for things like art, it's very cool.

While I think a Huan's character is made to mock "tortured abstract artists" a bit, he actually isn't terribly caricaturised?

Like... he has a pretty clear ideology and moral compass, and he sticks to his guns, even when threatened. He clearly values personal freedom and freedom of expression, and is willing to stand up for it.

I also love headcanoning that he had a close relationship with Aiwei. Since some of Huan's ideals match up more or less with Red Lotus ideology, which makes me wonder if Aiwei did subtly indoctrinate Suyin's children.

Huan and Ikki's friendship is really cute too lol.

His design is also really cool ngl

Opal

MY BABY AHHH 🧡 honestly my fave female tlok character.

Free her from the heterosexual love interest dimension she deserves so much better lol.

Like, I really dislike Bopal as a ship, and part of it is because of how much of a disservice it does to both characters. But most anti Bopal takes I see are also horrifically anti Opal.

Honestly, Opal just gets a surprisingly large amount of hate in genral? Like why? People call her annoying and a brat/ a knockoff Korra and she's barely done anything lmao

Opal's is very interesting, her journey to independence, her unseen development between B3 and B4, her firece loyalty to her family despite her separation from them

A lot of people criticise her attitude towards Kuvira, but honestly, she was quite rational in her anger? I also think she should have been allowed to hold a grudge against Bolin for longer, like yes he redeemed himswlf somewhat when rescuing her family, but it does feel really shallow and a fast way of tying up a pretty complex storyline.

Her arc reminds me very much of Toph's in atla, which is bittersweet since we see how that ended for Toph.

I love her lil pouty face ahh.

Wei and Wing

Genuinely. Might be my fave underdeveloped side characters.

Avatar has a habit of making very interesting twin duos and these two are no exception.

I really like their strong bond with their mother, they really are the most mamma's boys to ever mamma's boy.

Similarly to Opal, the twins' firece loyalty to their family and city is really sweet, but also there's a lot of potential for angst here. Like, Opal gets to see the world and adventure, but the twins are probably stuck in Zaofu forever.

The twins also are the only ones of their siblings upholding that "Beifong metalbender" archetype that Toph started. I think there is a bit of pressure on them, ad they are the "golden boys" of the family

I'm also a sucker for when benders work together/combine their skills so seeing the twins work together is really sweet.

Also. Gay™️. [Insert longass ramble about weilin lol]

I actually find the small differences in personality between them that we are shown. Where Wei is a bit more snooty and competitive, Wing is very playful and outward with himself. I like picking their differences apart.

Okk.. that's it my ramble for today us over 😭 I love the Beifong babies so much and wish there was more appreciation of them lol

[drumlincountry]

how about some old style blogging

feeling blown about by the winds of history recently. might be the election. Some of it is Palestine.

The evil empire in which we all live is particularly obviously evil and particularly obviously an empire at times like this. I'm thinking a lot about how the Irish became white, how we are both colonised people and now neo-colonisers.

Last night my mother showed me a small paperback book which belonged to my great-grandfather & I was reminded again that my grandfather's great-grandfather (I think?) landed in our area from probably-galway and the family managed to hold onto speaking irish for A CENTURY until my granddad married an english woman & decided it was rude to teach their children a language she didn't know. I love my granny, but come oooooooon.

& you know my mother did become fluent in adulthood and did her best to pass that on but. you know. failed. Love to have my tongue cut out.

The book was Tóraíocht Dhiarmada agus Ghráinne, and my great-grandfather had annotated it with loads of little pencil notes. That generation is gone & i can barely understand their language. The generation after it is gone except for my great-aunt who lives in Texas. There's a lot I will never know.

I've been thinking a lot about the image of sustainability vs the reality of sustainability. Greenwashing, etc. A lot of people think 'traditional ways' are greener. some of them are. A lot of people think modern high tech solutions are greener. Some of them are. the reality is that we are based in 2024 & no other generation has had to face the crisis we're facing & trying to lift solutions wholesale from any other time will be. ineffective.

So yeah. Image vs reality. sometimes the difference is hard to spot. A solid fuel stove burning wood which is locally grown (using native species, in an area suitable for woodland) & coppiced on a sensible rotation = VERY SUSTAINABLE. A solid fuel stove burning most firewood you can buy = I HAVE MY DOUBTS. A solid fuel stove burning turf = I'M SORRY BUT THIS IS SO SO BAD.

Empires are bad for the environment. This is so basic it feels like it shouldn't have to be said. Empires are bad for the environment!

Irish people only really started burning peat at scale in the 17thc I believe? because colonisation had denuded the landscape of its ancient forests. That great big british navy you know. Those ships had irish bones, among others. My point being: poor people have to make environmentally destructive choices to fucking survive.

The ecological footprint of my lifestyle is largely invisible to me as a citizen of the global north. I don't see the exploitative mining practices, farming practices, manufacturing practices. This is part of the evil of empire. The decision making is concentrated in the imperial core & the imperial core does not give a flying fuck about the ecology of the colonies.

Eating locally sourced food doesn't have much impact on ur carbon footprint btw, but it gives u more transparency.

The artist who designed jamie's engagement ring for me only uses Irish silver in her work, because she knows that 1. Ireland is bound by EU environmental regulations 2. Ireland has SOME level of worker protections 3. If a massive scandalous breach of these standards occured in a silver mine in Ireland, she'd hear about it somehow.

This is part of why I have this quiet worry that my work will betray me. For those who don't know: my job is about paying farmers to be good to the environment.

A few problems with this. 1. commodifying the environment is a dangerous game. if you STOP paying someone to be good the environment they're more likely to stop being good to the environment than they would be if you never paid them in the first place. Think like - paying people to donate blood. the rate of donations actually goes down. 2. if we're going to pay people around here to de-intensify agriculture & we all end up eating food produced in exploitative conditions at the imperial fringe. Well that would fucking suck! 3. the whole idea of the work rests on the idea that people who own big chunks of THE LAND have the right to do whatever they want to THE LAND & the rest of the community (& the state claiming to represent them) can only nudge these land "owners" to do things for the common good. bit too fucking libertarian for my taste. Whatever our paperwork may say, you can't own mud. mud owns itself!!

4. the conservative libertarianism baked into this system isn't a side issue. the fact that land is mostly passed down thru male lines, the association between the farm and the patriarchal family all leads to .....bad fucking politics! lotta queerphobia, misogyny, racism, climate change denial. I see this all the time with the people i work with and it is heartbreaking. If we manage to reverse some ecological destruction without in any way undoing the power systems that birthed it. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. We'll have done some good. but I'll be unsatisfied.

Yes you can quote me on that. I will not be satisfied unless my little job teaching people about wildflowers and hedgerows topples the empire of the global north.

Will they betray me? They're already betraying me all the fucking time. Today at work my coworker told me he thinks a local fascist 'had a point about immigrants'.

I betray me too! Not that way, but I'm a tool of empire. I'm dangling money in front of ppl without much of it, enticing them to do what the EU & the state wants them to do.

Today for work reasons I stood in a field and articulately defended the need for farming to continue in Ireland b/c of the benefits it can provide for climate change mitigation and ecosystem maintainence AND the value of our heritage and our traditional attachment to the land. Two people asked to exchange numbers at the end because they want to hear more. I agree with what I said, but it wasn't even half, a quarter of the picture.

The root of the problem is: we have become white. We have become colonists. The Common Agricultural Policy of the EU drives what happens with farming on Many continents & only one of those continents gets to vote on it. If we continue to exploit Africa, South America & Asia for our food, we are like the British cutting down the Irish forests for their ships. The root of the problem is: none of us are free until we're all free.

Last night I held my great-grandfather's book in my hands and remembered that I am living a life beyond his wildest dreams. I have a bright & warm home. Clean running water. Electricity. Cupboards full of food & I don't have to break my back toiling in the fields. I studied in a university. I've travelled farther than he could possibly have imagined.

But if all that comes at the cost of oppressing people the way he was oppressed? I don't want it.

Of course I want it. Everyone wants ease and comfort. I just want it without the cost. I need to not want the cost more than I want the ease. That's the only way to have a soul.

I have some knowledge of what life is like at the bottom of the heap. I am a strong believer in destroying the heap entirely.

I get so very annoyed when anyone refers to a two story house as a 'cottage'.

[ashyjingles]

Who is the raeken

THEO RAEKEN FROM TEEN WOLF AKA ONE OF THE SADDEST BITCHES IVE EVER SEEEEEN

(tbh with the way u like jason grave i have a feeling u might like theo too actually)

okay so massive spoiler warning if you ever do plan on watching teen wolf everything is under the cut just in case

OKAY SO (i could be so wrong about some of this stuff btw i haven't actually finished the show)

theo raeken had some sort of heart condition as a kid so when he was 8 or 9 these evil scientists showed up in his dreams/house and told him he could live a normal healthy life because his sister (who was about a year older than him) actually wanted to give him her heart!! all he had to do was bring her to a bridge over a very cold river/creek/stream in the middle of winter and watch as she froze to death in it. (i'm unsure if it was him or the evil doctors that pushed her in there, but he did watch her die and did nothing to save her) (he later defended his actions by saying he still believed santa at the time and didn't know she would actually die from it but he's a known manipulative little shit) and then he basically got a heart transplant after that

anyways the evil scientist doctors (called the dread doctors) then used science to turn him into an off brand werewolf through many very questionable processes that probably didn't include anesthetic. vivisection! woo!

anyways he grew up with them in the sewers for nearly a decade while the doctors experimented on other science-natural teenagers but none of them actually lived and were labeled "failures" but somehow theo? the first experiment? was successful all those years. so. anyways that happened until they decided to start their big massive project that would basically make theo useless

so naturally theo took on his own big project that involved taking down the main protagonist of the series through lots of manipulation and seeming like a helpful good mostly normal 17/18 year old boy just to turn around and kill one of them (who was resurrected like 5 minutes later so it doesn't count) and lots more betraying and leaving for dead involving other people. honestly it's a miracle there was so little death surrounding him in this era

anyways when that didn't work he resurrected some of the failures and basically went along the lines of "i saved you so i own you now" and then killed some of them for real. and then the main protagonists needed a way to stop him so they sent him to what was basicallyyyy hell (i think before this he helped killing the doctors?? i'm not sure i haven't actually watched that bit. the doctors are dead at this point in time tho)

anyways in hell his sister routinely chased him through a hospital and ripped his heart out in this fucked up time loop. imagine sisyphus but worse. fields of punishment type deal. (very popular quote where he tells her "you don't have to stop" while he's like fucking coughing up blood or something)

anyways because of another big bad the protagonists were facing one of them decided to pull him out of hell (his name is liam and they are very commonly shipped together. there are some rumors they were meant to be canon in the show but weren't) and basically decided to label theo as his responsibility but their relationship was very punchy for a long while

anyways theo goes through a lot of shit and despite previously very clearly only caring for himself he lowkey contradicts everything he says ("im not dying for you!"-theo "im not dying for you either! but i will... fight with you"-liam (and then theo proceeds to throw himself directly into the line of fire to save liam the lying liar)) (would also like to note the place they are at for this era is the hospital and theo very clearly is Not Okay with the reminders of his time in hell. traumatized bitch. i love him my little murderous meow meow.)

anyways they leave on not quite good terms but no longer murderous terms and theo lives in his truck for a while because the doctors are dead and he can't go back to sewers so he's effectively homeless.

anyways the guy he Kind Of Killed But Not Really then calls and says hey!! liam (the person who sort of tolerates him in exchange for help) needs help!! can you help him!!! and for whatever reason despite several months between the last big bad and this big bad theo still hasn't skipped town so he does in fact go help liam. and lots of scenes that set him on the path to a redemption arc (plus a better relationship with liam)

and then. that's the end of the show. i will now attach sad and bleeding pictures of my murderous little meow meow to sway you toward feeling affection for him

and then the smug/evil look because he's not very vocal about being sad okay he's actually an intolerable little shit most of the time and that's why i love him

pinterest give me better photos of him damnit half of these are ass

we call his short hair his hedgehog hair and it's a very large indicator that he's evil thank you

can you see why i like him please tell me you see why i like him

pspsps i can give a much better and more detailed (and sadder) description if u want but i feel like this covers the basics