#but!! they’re also just people!! they were teenagers when they were experimented on and turned into androids they didn’t choose this

[asmidge]

emotional over how Android 17 was built to kill and now his job is protecting life. he doesn’t want to kill the poachers even though they directly threaten the animals that are so important to him

he has a wife and kids now and has an actual life, something that Dr Gero never envisioned for him or his sister. they were created as tools meant to kill Goku but they’re his friend now. they live for themselves and value the lives that they were originally meant to destroy

[xekstrin]

One of the most memorable interactions was Saturday. Into our booth strolls a small family, tempted by free samples of freshly brewed tea. We chatter and give them the spiel, that the tea is character merch and we’re a cozy health-based app called Forage Friends.

The young girl zeroes in on our pride pins.

“They have my pin!” She says excitedly. “They have my flag!”

The dad blinks. He is surprised, but also calm and positive when he sees it’s the lesbian flag. “Oh. That’s… different from what you told me.”

“That was months ago, dad.” And she rolls her eyes. Definitely a teenager.

I turn to him and say, “Yeah, dad.” And we share a little laugh about it.

He says, “No, it’s great. That’s amazing, honey. It was just news to me.”

“Well, I guess I just decided to stop lying to myself. About liking guys. Like right now.”

A little lesbian just came out to her dad and he was super cool about it.

I’m standing there in my tie-dye mask and my cheery blue apron pouring tea and making small talk and I’m trying really hard not to cry or compare it to my experience, the fire & brimstone, the disgust, the conditional acceptance as long as I never bring it up.

So as this beautiful bonding is going on, the girl’s even younger brother turns his gaze around. He’s in a snorlax hoodie and bored and wants to go look at the swords across the hall. But on the other side of our booth….

“WHY DO PEOPLE DRAW THAT?” He asks loudly, and we all turn to our neighboring booth.

Our neighbors were extremely lovely people. Every time we had a break we would talk, and we became good friends over the weekend. They kept apologizing that their booth was next to ours and we kept repeating that it was totally fine. Their booth was great. I even bought their merchandise.

The thing that was so contentious, that they felt the need to apologize for, was that they were selling explicit titty hentai stickers of popular characters. They were censored with little yellow R18 labels but the content was very clear.

So back to the family: I freeze and immediately go somewhere else to let dad handle this question. With adult customers I’ve been loud and positive about our neighbors. (“Man, how has it been boothing next to them?” It’s been great! They bring a lot of foot traffic and they’re kind and wonderful professional neighbors. If anything it’s a fun juxtaposition. We believe in artistic freedom. I bought a sticker too!)

But this is a kid, it’s not my place to explain anything…. But I was extremely curious about what this chill dad would say.

“Well,” dad says with a long measured silence between each word. “Sometimes people are horny.”

[thehmn]

It might simply be that I don’t frequent ADHD forums enough but I haven’t seen a whole lot of talk about learned social withdrawal.

As a child I made friends left and right but as we all turned into self-conscious teenagers it slowly became more and more difficult for me. Plain and simple, other people thought I was weird. For some reason I never got bullied which I think is related to something my teachers kept telling my parents “She’s such a sweet, bright child and we can tell she’s not malicious or trying to be disruptive on purpose but we can’t teach her anything”

Basically people couldn’t figure me out. I had good social skills with both children and adults, I had a good moral compass, i felt compassion and empathy for others and was willing to go against my friends if I felt they were being bullies, I taught myself English and my drawings showed good observation skills. Because of all that it was decided I should start school a year sooner than most kids and my parents were very proud. Unfortunately that’s probably one of the main reasons why I was never diagnosed with raging ADHD as a child. People soon realized I didn’t do well in a school setting but assumed it was because I “wasn’t done playing” and my ADHD symptoms were interpreted as childishness.

So as I got older my classmates started to distance themselves from me. They were always kind and friendly but they didn’t know how to deal with me and ever since then people have always been worryingly comfortable with calling me weird to my face. I get the impression it’s because they think it’s a choice on my part. To them I’m clearly of “normal intelligence” so I must be acting like this on purpose and my parents would repeatedly tell me to “just act normal” as a child when I told them I was struggling to make friends. I tried so damn hard but kept failing. I knew something had to be different about me and when I first heard about ADHD I thought “That’s me! That’s how I feel!” but my parents said that was impossible because I wasn’t hyperactive.

Because nobody wanted to help me I eventually learned to just stop trying to make friends and keep to myself. I was so tired of being told by friendly, well-meaning people that I was so weird and quirky and unique only for them to distance themselves once they realized it was permanent and not something I could turn on and off for parties. I always enjoyed being alone so it wasn’t a huge loss but it did feel incredibly lonely at times.

Things got a lot better when I became an adult, mostly because adults are generally more chill than teens so my ADHD behavior isn’t as embarrassing to them and ironically they’re often surprised to learn I don’t make friends easily. Unfortunately I learned to be withdrawn in my formative years so new friends are still a rarity. Before I really sat down and put my past into context I even started to wonder if I had autism despite not connecting with anything autistic people said about their experiences. I went as far as to be tested but wasn’t surprised when the diagnosis was negative because of course it was, I kinda already knew that. I was just looking for an explanation.

So while there can be overlap between ADHD and autism (I have just such a friend) my experience is also that oftentimes people with ADHD simply learn to stay away from social situations and entertain ourselves which ends up looking like autism to outsiders.

[prismatic-bell]

So I want to start this post with the understanding that it is based ONLY on my personal experiences as a 35-year-old American and what I saw as a teenager. It should not be taken as a prognostication of doom—it’s a call to keep your eyes open.

So right now, one of the biggest (and very justified) criticisms of what’s happening in Gaza is that the head of Hamas isn’t even in Gaza. He is in Qatar. This is a known and established fact. If the goal is to take out Hamas, then they’re shooting in the wrong place.

Now I want to take you back to 2003.

George W. Bush has just announced that Iraq has 48 hours to turn over Osama bin Laden, or the United States will invade. They did not turn him over. We invaded.

If you’re too young to remember this, then the anti-Iraq/Afghanistan-war number you’ve most likely heard is “over a million dead civilians.” That number is true, but as someone who lived through it, I want to add some stuff you may not know or have heard of.

There was constant fear of the draft, and enlisted soldiers were often “back door drafted,” meaning when their contract was over it was reupped without their consent and they had no recourse. This led to a lot of families being torn apart and living in a constant state of uncertainty and fear. THIS, in turn, led to radicalization of soldiers who came home with no more support network and no assistance to readjust to civilian life. You want to know where all the Millennial MAGA came from? I’d be willing to bet a nickel almost all of them either were soldiers in Iraq/Afghanistan, or knew somebody who was. I knew someone who’d enlisted because his family had been enlisted men all the way back to the Civil War and he genuinely believed he was doing a good thing, and after what he saw on his first tour he re-enlisted twice, as fast as they’d take him, actively trying to get himself killed due to guilt and severe trauma. I guarantee he wasn’t the only one.

We had Blackwater. We had “enhanced interrogation.” (Translation: waterboarding and sleep deprivation, among other forms of torture.) There were photos and videos released of soldiers gone absolutely crazy with power doing stuff like peeing on prisoners and mocking them. One image that will haunt me forever is a copy of the Quran smeared with pork. There’s no need for that. It saves no lives, it produces nothing but pain, it occurred only to be cruel.

Iraq and Afghanistan caused over a million civilian deaths. It also caused the mass insanity of a country.

…..oh.

Did I mention Osama bin Laden was in Pakistan the whole time?

Yeah.

We invaded two countries, murdered over a million civilians, tortured thousands of people….and all of it was for nothing. Yeah, we got rid of Saddam Hussein and that’s a good thing, but it opened up a whole different can of worms in the region, and also led to the US being the first democracy in the world to invade another nation without being attacked first. You can imagine that looked just GREAT for our position on the world stage.

So, uh.

Israel’s bombing the shit out of Gaza. The heads of Hamas aren’t in Gaza. They’re in Qatar.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

So two things of importance here. One, keep an eye on Qatar, and if you hear a PEEP about any potential “military operations” there, remember Iraq and Afghanistan. And two….you’re not going to like this. But it has to be said.

Iraq and Afghanistan occurred under a Republican president and Trump is currently the Republican front runner. To remind you, Trump said multiple times he wanted to start a nuclear war, and his party is full of Christian dominionists who want Israel to take all of Palestine because they believe this will trigger the Second Coming. In other words what Biden is doing is extremely bad but he can be pressured to do what’s right (we’re seeing it happen right now, with his officials admitting he’s feeling the pressure for a ceasefire). Trump WANTS TO DESTROY THE ENTIRE PLANET ON PURPOSE, and has backing from his party. You have to vote against him. You have to. I do not condone what Biden is doing but I also enjoy living, and I’m pretty sure you also would prefer to be here rather than not.

Keep an eye on Qatar. Vote against Trump and keep the pressure on Biden. You really want to help and don’t mind playing dirty? Find some left-wing Israeli organizations you can donate to. The party responsible for what’s happening, Likud, is far-right (Netanyahu is buddies with Trump and that should tell you a lot), and there have been sustained protests against them for almost a year. The fastest way to Palestinian peace is to get the wannabe-dictator and his coalition out of power, topple Hamas (not the Palestinian people, explicitly HAMAS), and restart peace talks. We’ve been EXTREMELY CLOSE to peaceful solutions before, and by peaceful I do not mean “because one side is dead,” I mean “because the two sides were ready to work together.”

(No, I am not saying you shouldn’t donate to Palestinian charities—you can in fact do more than one thing at a time. Although I will tell you to do some double-checking on any Palestinian charities you donate to because apparently right now money is having a really hard time getting through. Make sure you’re working with a legitimate organization and not getting scammed by some asshole in Canada looking to capitalize on a tragedy.)

Peace can happen, and in our lifetimes. I would love to see a world where al-Aqsa and the Third Temple stand proudly side by side on the Mount as a reminder of what peace can do. But we have to keep an eye on all fronts. And that means learning from history.

[restinslices]

I don’t know if I requested this already but how do you think the Lin Kuei bros would react when each of them got their first gf?

It’s 5am but I’m avoiding sleep cause sleep paralysis been kicking my ass recently so here we are. I didn’t know if you were imagining a certain age or how detailed you wanted it so they’re all at different ages

Bi-Han

Bi-Han doesn't have that much experience when it comes to dating even if he's the oldest brother 

Growing up he was taught to mainly focus on his clan since he'd be the next Grandmaster so naturally dating is something that was at the back of his mind 

When he got his first girlfriend he'd probably be older. So he's mature when it comes to handling himself but he's not mature when it comes to romantic relationships 

I think the first week would be the hardest because he's both nonchalant but also worried if that makes sense

Nonchalant because he doesn't physically show any emotion besides disdain but also worry because whenever he hears about new relationships, people are always so giddy. They're glowing. They're jumping up and down and are cuddled next to their partner all the time. 

Bi-Han though? He doesn't do any of that. He's not sure what he should do and since he doesn't know, it makes him worry that maybe he made the wrong choice. Maybe he took the bit of affection you gave him and ran with it and it went outta hand 

After that first week though, he still wants to be with and around you so he starts to relax and realize he just reacts differently to things 

Some things he would struggle with since this is his first relationship. He'd struggle with the idea of being around his partner so often. Does he enjoy your presence? Yeah. But he also wants a lot of alone time 

Idk how long his first relationship would last. He gives me both “we're in this forever” and “forever isn't realistic” vibes. 

I honestly don't think he'd change much, which probably has a lot to do with the fact that he's a grown man. He's past all the intense teenage emotions. 

I don't even think his partner would notice a difference tbh. He trails behind you more but besides that, he still acts like your friend Bi-Han which isn't necessarily a bad thing 

Because it's his first relationship, I don't see him initiating things like physical touch that much. I think his partner would have to either ask or hint at it 

Cutsey things just don't come naturally to him. 

Is he happy about his first relationship? Absolutely. He just doesn't see the big deal with certain things like hand holding or other romantic expectations. Honestly I can see that being the cause of his first relationship ending depending on who it is but if it's someone that's on the same wavelength or understands lack of affection doesn't mean lack of love then I could see it lasting forever. 

Kuai Liang 

Kuai Liang was probably the first to start dating 

Does he have responsibilities? Yes. But that wouldn't stop him from experiencing certain things, even if he had to do it sneakily. 

He was a young teenager when he finally got his first girlfriend. She was apart of a nearby clan and although he was told many times not to focus on women, he couldn't help it. 

It was a simple friendship but it turned into something more. A secret relationship no one could know about

I think Kuai Liang would be happy to finally have a girlfriend. It's something else in his life that gives him happiness besides his family. 

Also this is a teenager so he's geeked as fuck. He tries to appear all calm and cool but it wouldn't really work 

Would always try to sneak away to see her. He wants to spend as much time with her as he can. Half of it is because he's a teenager, half of it is because he genuinely likes her. 

I also think he likes exchanging gifts. It gave them both something to remember the other bye

As a young boy, he wants to tell everyone but because of circumstances, he can’t. Besides that though I just honestly think he’s happy waking up everyday knowing he’ll see her even if it’s only for a few minutes.

She was a break for him. He's always the mediator between Bi-Han and Tomas. He always had to train hard so he could assist Bi-Han when he became grandmaster. When he was with her he was relaxed. 

Enjoys the company that comes with having a partner, even if a lot of the times he's too busy to see her 

He knows he doesn’t know much about relationships, but that’s ok. Life’s a journey and he’s willing to learn and communicate for this girl

Considering it says “first relationship”, that means it doesn't last 

I think the reason would be they eventually get caught. His dad has a tighter leash on him and she's sent to a different area her clan occupies 

He wouldn't take this well but there's really nothing he can do

Takes him awhile to get over even if it was some silly teenage romance according to others. 

Tomas Vrbada

Tomas gets into his first relationship in his late teens to early twenties

I can see him telling Kuai Liang immediately and asking for advice 

I can see it being a friends to lovers kind of thing. She's an earthrealmer in the know about all the realms and stuff and knows Madam Bo. Tomas is easy to like so they become friends then he asks her out on accident 

Tomas, like Kuai Liang, would be happy to have a significant other. He'd like having a girlfriend because this is his person. He became a Lin Kuei because the grandmaster felt shame about his clan murdering Tomas’ family. To Tomas, that's not him actually wanting him. It's guilt 

Having a girlfriend though means she's with him because she loves him. She actually likes him and chose him.

Very proud boyfriend. He’s surprised he has someone to call his and thinks she’s everything 

He's younger so he's not really confident which I think would show. He constantly wants to be around her out of insecurity. He's worried that she'd leave and find someone else 

He thinks he’s not good enough for anything

Can we blame him? He has Bi-Han constantly making him feel shitty. Sure he’s not the only reason Tomas is insecure but he’s not helping

He's also paranoid about anyone else he loves being hurt. People get hurt, he understands that but he cannot say goodbye to someone else prematurely. Especially someone that makes him so happy

Since it's his first relationship, he doesn't know how to properly communicate these feelings 

He genuinely likes this person and wants to be something serious. The problem is all this hovering and worry could cause problems in the relationship and lead to it ending. 

His solution would be trying to change himself 

Letting go is not something he wants to do. This person makes him happy so why should he? He could definitely change and do better. 

And since this is his first relationship, he’s nervous something like this won’t happen again. 

Unfortunately for him you can’t get rid of insecurities easily and you have to love yourself before loving anyone else

You'd expect him to have the longest lasting relationship but he probably wouldn't. The relationship wouldn't end with harsh feelings but he'd still be upset by it and it'd encourage him to work on himself 

I promise you Kuai Liang is my favorite brother. Idk how Bi-Han got around 440 words and him and Tomas got around 380- I also plan on writing angst after I eventually go to sleep so tune in

[parachutingkitten]

Why is Pixane So Queer?

Some thoughts on Asexual Romance.

[warning, long post below the cut]

The Ninjago fandom had a very potent reaction to The Quest for the Lost Powers repeatedly describing Pixal and Zane as being 'very close friends'. This seemed quite contradictory to many who assumed the confession of undying love at the end of the last season might have been a small hint at a romantic relationship of some kind. However, after closer examination, it turns out Pixal and Zane don’t ever actually refer to themselves as a couple, and the show has never once referred to them being in an active relationship.

But there’s something here, right? Sure, it’s not explicitly stated, but you are lying to yourself if you can watch them and tell me there is zero romantic subtext going on here. A lot of people got very defensive that the children’s book stated they were friends, especially when it also seemingly confirmed that the much straighter straight boy ship, Kailor, was apparently canon, despite being only implied as a possible future for ages now. But I find this backlash to be a bit strange. Sure, Zane and Pix aren’t exactly ‘just friends’ but, what do you want them to say? That they’re boyfriend and girlfriend? You want these two to say they’re ‘going out’ with each other? You think these two robots are ‘dating’ each other, like they’re just susin’ out the partner pool. Are those the words that fit this relationship to you?

I found myself feeling weirdly offended at everyone, and I think the reason was that these two love-droids haven’t chosen to define their relationship in traditional terms, and so everyone’s insistence that they should be boxed into some sort of traditional term seems inherently strange. It’s like when two elderly people are dating, it feels weird when they say “this is my girlfriend” because despite it being factually true, there’s so much baggage that comes with the word, part of that implication being youth, which is directly at odds with the immediate situation. It’s the correctness of the word paired with the incorrectness of the societal implications which forces you to assess if those societal implications should exist. And that- that is what makes this relationship feel queer. That’s why there’s this undeniably different kinda energy radiating off of it. It’s that rejection of the traditional labels, the refusal to be put into a box, which forces it to be a-typical. But, why? Why does Pixane have this rejection of labels radiating off of it? Their ages, while being literally whack, are presented as being your typical teenage to young adult age romance. Their genders present as a typical hetero pairing. And it’s not like they don’t follow your typical cliche love at first sight plot. I mean, Pixal was pretty explicitly created as a generic love interest character. So, what is it? Why is this queer? Spoiler alert: It’s because they’re asexual.

So, what is asexuality? Strictly defined, it is a community of people who experience little to no sexual attraction to anyone. This is distinct from aromanticism, which is a lack of romantic attraction, and sexual engagement or urges which are their own separate boat, but often have overlap with asexuality. However, for our purposes, we are focused on just the sexual attraction part. You can think of it as the difference between finding someone hot and finding someone cute. That’s the distinction that made it click for me anyway.

Now, as a disclaimer, I am not going to be considering other queer interpretations of this relationship. Not to invalidate them, because of course they’re valid, but specifically because I feel there isn’t precedent for them in the text, and I feel there is for asexuality. This deep dive is particularly about validating asexuality as being queer, and so to do that we have to eliminate any other outstanding factors. People are extremely quick to pin asexual queerness to something else, and that in itself can feel invalidating, even if it’s only attempting to validate other communities as well. Asexual romance is so easily read as straight romance, that any queer undertones have to have an alternate explanation, because asexuality doesn’t seem like enough to cross the barrier. Yes, enby interpretations of Pixane are great, and fantastic, and I would die for your right to follow those headcanons, but to pin the in text queer vibes on the fact that they technically don’t have biological gender, despite having very clear presenting and unwavering genders in text seems like a real easy way to dismiss the asexual coding which is staring me in the face. While things like non-binary or aromantic readings validate communities who have immense oppression and are continually called fake or confused, which is insanely important, asexuality, especially as it stands apart from aromanticism, is often confused as not being a difference at all. You’re just pure! You’re just wholesome! You’re just so sweet and innocent! And yes… yes, I am, but also, it’s more than that. It’s fundamentally something different about the way my brain is wired, and I feel a need to defend the fact that it, specifically, is queer. And in no way am I trying to say that the aces are the most oppressed actually, I don’t want to start the oppression Olympics here, and if we were to, I would probably argue quite the opposite, but I am saying that there is oppression, and it comes from outside and inside of the community, and it is a thing. It’s a different flavor of thing that’s maybe not as severe, but also sits differently. Maybe it’s not as much a pressing thing as other things, but… it’s my thing. It’s what I feel. It’s something I can speak on. So, I’m going to speak on it.

Perhaps one of the largest factors asexuality has to offer is the necessary separation of romance and sex. The packaging of sexual attraction and romantic attraction is so ubiquitous that the term ace is often assumed to be referring to aro/ace people, despite there being a term for that… aro/ace! Asexuality is not an easy queerness to explain, precisely because of this deeply held integration. It’s not a difference of experience necessarily, it’s a lack of a certain experience. I’m not saying this is something you can’t understand, because, unless you’re aromantic, I know you understand it! You are going to be able to like and relate to and feel seen by asexual romances, because the main component it requires is that you have romantic attraction- which is most people. And so many people get confused when you point to an asexual thing and go “I get that! This! This is me!” Because they just respond with “You’re not special, I get that too. Is this supposed to be different?” And, yes, it is, primarily because everything else includes this giant other thing as well, which is sexuality.

When vegans get excited about finding a meal which is especially delicious and also meets their food restrictions, they get particularly excited. That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy that same vegan meal- no doubt it probably tastes incredibly delicious to you as well. But you likely won’t get that same feeling of excitement, because you don’t live under the same restrictions as vegans do. That’s the same thing I feel when I see an asexually coded romance. I can enjoy the full meal without having to pick things out or ignore vital parts. I have no doubt that others can thoroughly enjoy asexual romances, but you’re going to have to look at it in context of all the dominant romance stories in the world to understand why it’s so different and special to me.

Now, have I cracked the code on asexual romance in media? No. I only have my own experience with asexuality to lean on, and the very limited discourse on the topic I’ve come across while discovering my identity. All of this is simply a theory based on my own thoughts and observations, but these are some explanations as to what might possibly be included in a framework for an asexually coded romance, at least to me.

So, what makes romance asexual? It’s not simply a lack of sexual suggestiveness. Any number of romances aren’t sexually suggestive, but still glaringly heteronormative- especially in children’s television. And it’s also not a lack of initial attraction, as that would throw Pixane out of the running for sure. Well, I have a few things which I feel may contribute to asexual coding of a romantic relationship, and wouldn’t you know, Pixane is a great example of all of them.

Asexual romance may, as many have remarked, come off as more innocent. When you shove all of the focus of characters onto the romantic, emotional connection, rather than any underlying sexual tension, things end up feeling extremely innocent to the layperson. You get the sort of old married couple effect. Two people deeply in love, who just sort of stare at each other in awe, and that others can comment on how cute they are. Again, asexuals don’t necessarily find anything hot. Cuteness is the main operative factor motivating their attraction, so it follows that their interactions would radiate that factor back at observers. The characters might in fact be very touchy, have sex, enjoy that physical touch, but that’s not at the forefront of anyone’s mind in the story. This is an aspect of Pixane that can be read very clearly. Their romance is quite easily described as pure and wholesome by all who have the pleasure of observing them. The way they interact with each other is extremely gentle and supportive, and their level of old married couple vibes is by far the highest of any pairings in the show (aside from perhaps the actual old married couple of Ed and Edna).

Asexual romance, I find to often be less conflict driven. Take the classic enemies to lovers plotline- it’s built on a tension between an innate irrational attraction, and a perceived logical personality conflict. While romantic attraction is certainly not always rational, from my understanding, sexual attraction is often rooted in factors that aren’t at all related to logical compatibility or personality. This means the enemies to lovers plot is primed to work much better when sexually charged, because it presents a clear path to create the hate/love conflict. Not to say that asexual enemies to lovers is impossible, or that asexual partners don’t have conflict between them, but that it is less of an obvious threat to incorporate into asexual romance.  Because there are less factors and layers of attraction to get involved in, there’s less room for conflict and contradiction between them. It is much easier to get tangled up in a situation with more strings. Pixane is a relationship which certainly doesn’t hold much internal conflict. The one disagreement they did have is solved quite neatly with basic communication skills in the middle of season 8. Most of their conflict comes from external factors which separate them or cause misunderstanding, rather than conflict from within the characters themselves.

Asexual romance also has the obvious potential to challenge traditional dating norms. Because there is no impulse to escalate things physically, it makes sense that the progression of an asexual romance would differ from traditional relationships where that escalation is expected. Your asexual romance is bound to get emotionally intense with each other quicker, or at least have it be the focus of their story, because there is no other facet to deal with. Asexuals don’t commonly have sexual fantasies for themselves, but rather romantic fantasies. Not to say that most people don’t have romantic fantasies, but… that’s all we’ve got. And when your impulse is ‘let’s get married, and then maybe I guess we can kiss’, it might seem like things are progressing out of order to the average person. While asexuals don't all hate physical contact or even sexual connection, it isn't an attractive or motivating factor in the same way it is in most romances, so even on a base level, the level of physical contact is likely going to be less than average. Pixane progresses ridiculously out of order. Zane is willing to split his soul for her- it’s only at this point that they romantically hold hands for the first time. It’s the emotional connection between the two that comes first, and all classic tangible symbols of affection and romance that are secondary. The most pronounced physical contact we’ve seen is a cheek kiss, and their most common type of physical contact is enthusiastic hugging (which I’ll dive more into later).

Additionally, because physical affection is more of an afterthought, it would also make sense for labels to come slowly. If you have an incredibly close personal, soulful connection, but you haven’t kissed yet, it makes sense for people around you to assume you’re just really close friends, or perhaps just crushing on each other still. Terms like “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” invoke rather physical tactile images, and so to attempt to apply them to an asexual romance isn’t necessarily wrong but may feel a bit off putting because of this dissonance. Again, it’s this dissonance between the romantic meaning of the word, and the sexual undertones which forces discomfort onto the viewer. Pixal and Zane have yet to kiss each other after years of dancing around each other’s obvious romantic feelings. It remains unclear if they even are in an active romantic relationship at all, or are still mutually pinning, as no labels have been given to their relationship in show. I have no doubt part of this is the lack of planned dates or physical affection which are common outward signals of a traditional established relationship.

A lot of the saucy flirting which accompanies many classic heteronormative romances can seem rather pointless to asexuals. I would venture to say that asexuals are likely more direct and up front with their emotional vulnerability and feelings, because that’s the connection which they are seeking to make. To dance around it with innuendo and mind games is rather unproductive in achieving the end goal. There is less of a pressure to “perform” romance, and instead just be honestly romantic, because the romance isn’t a prelude to sex, or physical affection, it’s the end goal in and of itself. To only pretend to do it is entirely pointless. All of this is likely going to result in a romance which puts less focus on the “game of dating”. I mean, can you imagine Pixane ending up in a Jaya style love triangle? It’s almost an absurd pitch to make, right? There is no performativity to the Pixane relationship, it is exactly as it appears at first glance. And when Zane attempts more traditional, cheesy flirting tactics like in Ninjago Confidential, Pixal is nothing but confused and annoyed by his attempts.

The most prominent example which I feel exemplifies the inherently asexual coding of Pixane applies to many robotic romances- and it’s the characters’ relationship with skin. A lot of sexual suggestion and tension is based on skin. The revealing nature of skin exposure, the feeling of skin on skin being a sexual touchpoint, skin is essential to the sexual experience in most instances. This is part of the reason I love writing romance but have yet to write a kiss between anyone. The sexuality of a kiss is inherently uncomfortable to write for me because you’re encouraged to lean into the physical feeling of the touch of skin. Robots bring to the forefront the idea of this physical contact because their skin is often not exactly skin, and that in itself gives a sort of de facto distance from sexuality. There’s a moment which happens repeatedly with Pixane, and shows up in other robotic romances, like Wall-E and Eve, which I feel highlights this essential separation from the skin of sexuality. Pixane and Wall-Eve both have the ‘clink’ moment, in which intimate physical contact is made, (in Pixane’s case, all of their many hugs) and accentuated by the sound of their metal skin meeting with a loud clink. This sound not only highlights their lack of skin but serves to suck any sexual energy out of the interaction immediately and leaves it purely with the romance intended by the action. It’s not uncommon for people to find the sound humorous, precisely because of how desexualizing it is. It highlights the couples’ incapability of indulging in sexual skin on skin contact, and instead the closeness and companionship the act of touching provides.

And this is why I feel robots are in fact a decent candidate for asexual characters if done properly. Robots being coded as asexual can be a very negative stereotype, particularly when their asexuality is explicitly linked to their lack of emotion and feeling- but media about robots has been trending more positively recently. In fact, robots, if used correctly, may actually validate asexuality explicitly. Robotic characters are often used to explore the idea of what makes humanity human. If we give these robots human-like enough traits, when do they become human? Are they perhaps the most human? And it seems like fictional consensus agrees that sexuality is not required to achieve human status. Stripping away the excess human emotions may be part of what makes robots asexual (or aromatic, if your robot is also incapable of romantic love). The medium of robot literalizes the disconnect that asexuals have with their physical bodies, most notably their skin, and serves to put additional distance between the character and sexual contact, at least in the traditional sense. I mean, think about it, if you want your robot to be sexual, you need to go out of your way to establish that it has sexual capability, because no one is going to simply assume that your fictional robot was designed with that capability in mind. Why would it be, unless that was its explicit purpose? In a way, robots are sort of de facto asexual.

Pixane is queer because it’s asexual, and it’s asexual because they distill down only the purely romantic parts of a romantic relationship. They’re able to do this, in part because of their individual characterization, but also because of their robotic bodies, which make the separation between romance and sexuality just that much easier. They highlight the necessity to separate romance from all of the convoluted sexual layers which often accompany it, and so come out feeling distinctly untraditional and subversive.

That's the theory, again, all hyper based on my own personal experience with asexuality, which is of course not all encompassing. I'd love to hear your thoughts :)

[xiiaomii]

BEN Drowned

Headcanons !!

Disclaimer before someone comes for me.. this is all my au!!! No, I am not using ‘my au’ as an excuse to be weird btw !! Majority of this won’t be canon in any sense and most of my account is nothing like the canon character.. so please don’t use my blog as a way to get canon information!! Just thought I’d put it out there before someone shits on my posts because it’s bound to happen soon 😞

Ben is the biggest blue razz flavour lover, aside from Laughing Jack, anything in that flavour he will absolutely devour it. (Totally canon, I’m Ben’s left big toe)

He will sometimes forget to eat, drink, change clothes and shower to play video games because of how infatuated he is with the game he is playing.

Flirts with all his friends in a joking way, everyone is his ‘pookie’ or something along the lines of that. Until he actually develops a crush on a specific person then he forgets his ‘flirting skills’ (that were never really skills, he just took some cringe pet names he overheard and started calling his friends them ironically).

Jokes about his trauma, you will rarely catch that mf talking about his past experiences in a serious, non-joking way. Doesn’t matter how bad his PTSD could be, he will never get caught being serious. (Probably a massive cry for help, just doesn’t know how to ask for it.)

Probably started vaping thinking it would make people in school like him, which it didn’t, then ended up doing weed to feel ‘happy’ with how everything was.

Sally is his little sister. Not biologically, he just kind of claimed her as a sister and she agreed since Ben is the only male in the house she can trust (since they’re similar in age range, Sally being 12 and Ben being 14 in my au).

RAGING aquaphobia, panic attacks and all sorts being near a certain amount of water he could be drowned in, not that anyone would do that to him again. Ben and Jeff was hanging out in the forest together once and Ben accidentally fell into a lake and started fully sobbing, first time he was caught crying by another creepypasta.

He was definitely one of them people with braces since the age of like 12 for having fucked up teeth, absolutely hating them and getting called train tracks at school atleast once a day.

Because he prefers to have longer hair, he probably forgot to cut his hair loads of times until he started to notice it turning into a bob hairstyle and cut it.

Grunge style, definitely called emo shit ton of times when he was alive and in school.

Somehow always smells of Lynx Africa.. (that one deodorant literally EVERY mf teenage boy has.)

Thanks for reading!! I really enjoy making head canons for creepypastas and seeing people genuinely enjoy my posts makes me so happy omg 😭🫶!! <3 Honestly, I’m 99% sure most of this fandom is built off headcanons anyways BUT I’m so glad I’m not getting shitted on for having some interests 🫶🫶. Saying that, I know not much of this is canon in the slightest but I’m planning on writing a story for my AU where it’ll make more sense soon!! <3 Also, might make a pt.2 for my Sally Williams head canons!!!!!!!!!

<33333

[longtallglasses]

it’s very interesting to me amongst the different fandoms i’ve been a part of in regards to their attitudes toward nsfw fanworks bc with the marauders those teens are always wildin’ - smoking, drinking, sleeping together - if they’re not i would even say it would be out of character for them? wolfstar is messy and horny and so in love, even if in a lot of fics they won’t admit it to each other. in atyd everyone is shagging up a storm, the girls, the boys, it’s still juvenile of course the way they discuss it and go about it. very little communication, feelings are hurt, they don’t know what they’re doing all the time. and it makes sense, they’re teenagers!

i have never once heard of discussion around it being ‘wrong’ to write them this way. that it’s ‘objectifying’ and if you’re thinking about it you must be weird or unnecessarily sexualizing characters. sexualizing characters? they’re already sexualized wdym? they have a sexuality, everyone has a sexuality, whatever the author/artist wants to give them, whether that’s a sex crazed maniac or the most sex repulsed asexual, they Have a Sexuality! even before the exact moment they turn 18, they have a sexuality. it’s just another facet to explore character through, to understand them more fully, and also sometimes for the author to help understand themselves.

i’m sorry age doesn’t matter when it comes to fictional characters. it just doesn’t. they’re not real you can’t hurt them. if someone wants to write through trauma, something ‘wrong’ and ‘problematic’ let them use fictional people. it may seem gross and you don’t have to read it, but its existence does not mean promotion of harmful behavior. it can mean so many different things to that author but it doesn’t equate to that.

i say this bc i myself have written some horrid things. i’ve never posted them, was not in a place where i wanted to, i wrote it all in a period of my life where i was seriously hurting, and writing fucked up horrific things stopped me from hurting Myself. i’ve read some ‘problematic’ fics that made me feel better, hurt me in a good way, reading comments of people who related and appreciated what was being explored.

most people who write about fucked up shit, SA, or some form of trauma porn or whatever it is have probably gone through something similar in their life. the people who read it and seek it out are usually drawn to it for a reason but we don’t need to know why. there is also just curiosity. and being curious doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t mean you ‘like’ it. you may like the power dynamics at play, you may be intrigued by desires different than your own, you may… ANYTHING what you enjoy to read or write speaks to nothing regarding who you are in your day to day life. your morals, your beliefs, or what you want sexually or otherwise. i say this to a younger me, there’s nothing wrong with you!

with all that being said… there is also porn that is just porn. and that’s perfectly fine and good too. people have always written porn about whatever and whoever they want and they always will. if you don’t want it, scroll pass. you won’t be given a gold star for announcing you think it’s gross or wrong, you just look silly. i’m not saying that you must like it too, but attacking the moral character of those who do partake, shows an immaturity and lack of tack when it comes to these subjects. go out in the world and you will discover just how ‘abnormal’ and ‘depraved’ sexual desire can manifest itself as.

as someone who grew up a Very sexually confused person. not knowing i was queer or on the ace spectrum exploring sexuality through fiction was like my saving grace. and those books and those fics that made me feel seen, made me go huh! woah! ooooh my god that’s me! or made me go … wait why do i kinda like that? more often than not they were written by adults. bc they had made it through to the other side so to speak. and as An Adult now i find the traditional adolescent experience very intriguing as i did not have that growing up. the sexual experiences i’ve had now have shown me so starkly that that feeling which accompanies a new experience never really goes away. people are fumbling well into their 20s and 30s. reading the plight of a young person discovering who they are sexually i don’t think will ever not be relatable or make someone reflect. that includes the sweet and innocent as well as the ‘gross’/depraved horniness. it is not necessarily enjoyed on a basis of attraction to these characters, it is enjoyed on a basis of ‘i know this feeling’ or ‘i also do and have yearned for this kind of intimacy’. and if who you are isn’t represented in those stories, oh well damn, looks like i have to write it now. that’s how we have Are you there God, it’s me Margaret and the edge of 17 (the ‘98 and ‘16 iterations), all these stories written by Adults! that make us all sigh in relief and laugh and cry and aaahhh

fiction is fiction, idek what anti-ship means, let people be freaks in peace, fandom spaces are created to have fun in, let’s pls have Fun!!! explore and write and draw and fantasize whatever your heart desires bc there can be no right or wrong, it is just discovery.

if you feel kinship with characters and it feels natural to extend yourself to them, to take them and make them your own, amazing, gorgeous, beautiful. play dress up with them in all the ways you can, do whatever You Want!!

[erule]

High school heartbreaker | s.h.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader

Summary: You were in love with Steve when you were in high school together, but he didn’t know about that. Now you meet him by chance at college and you wonder if things could change.

Warnings: kinda rom-com with some clichés probably, unrequited love, A LOT of angst, fluff, mention of nose bleeding, mention of smoking, language, jealous!Steve, mutual pining in the end, happy ending, Robin, Eddie

Word count: 3K

A/N: hi! I wrote this based on a true experience, except for the fact that this ends well. Steve is my favourite character in Stranger Things and he was beyond perfect for this story. Feedback is always appreciated by a writer! Hope y’all like it. Enjoy! x

First day of college and you’re terrified.

Why? Well, let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

So, three months ago, you said goodbye to your school, then to your friends, then again to your best friend (who was supposed to go to college with you, before she betrayed you to follow the “cool guys”) and, last but not least, your high school crush. He was the first person you met on the bus on your first day of school, then he became your friend, but even if the two of you were never really close, somehow your heart managed to fall in love with him. The issue with that? He was in love with someone else. Of course. He dated Nancy Wheeler and you were just the friend that sometimes comforted him during their fights. You were important. So, the last day of school, you hugged him and said: “To new adventures, Steve. Maybe we’ll meet again in the future” and he just smirked at you. It was the moment you knew that he never loved you.

Anyway, now you’re on your own again after all of these years, while Steve’s probably far away with Nancy, having the time of his life. That’s how being a teenager should look like, right? Society tells it every day, but it doesn’t happen to everybody. You can also be alone and succeed, but it doesn’t mean that you’re lonely.

You finally arrive at class. The professor still has to come along, but people are already saying that he’s annoying. How great. You wonder what they’re thinking, while they’re talking with their friends. It seems like you’re the only one without one, as usual. High school was a lot of things, but at least you had your best friend to go through everything. Now it’s different. College can be scary, but you just have to breathe. So you take a deep breath, eyes closed, for three seconds. When you open your eyes, you see that the professor is entering into the room so you turn to your right in order to take your block notes.

“Hey,” somebody says and when you look up your heart begins to race faster than ever, while your brain still has to process who just spoke.

No way.

“What? The cat ate your tongue?”

Your eyes grow wide, but fortunately the professor ask for some silence to begin the lesson.

“Steve?”

He gives you a smile.

“The one and only”.

And this, this feeling of being on fire, is exactly how you know that your crush on somebody has never gone away.

You’re in the bathroom, door closed. This is not something that was supposed to happen today! How can he be at your college? Studying the same things as you? This has to be a nightmare. Does it mean that there’s also Nancy around the corner? No, this is going to become really painful really fast. You thought that you had already being punished enough, when you were forced to see him with Nancy every damn day for the last three years at school, but it seems that you weren’t.

You see a pair of shoes under the door and you gulp. Nancy?

“Hey, are you okay? You seemed pale when you arrived,” somebody says.

You’re so relieved that it’s not Nancy, that you open the door and hit the girl. She yells something, when you see that her nose is bleeding.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry! Here, take a napkin,” you say, but she shakes her head.

“Don’t worry, it’s not painful as when I saw my best friend wear a sailor’s uniform for work,” she said, but you just looked at her, confused. “Anyway, I hope that you’re okay”.

“Me? You’re literally bleeding!”

“It’s nothing. Some jokes on my friend and I’m gonna feel better instantly. You’ll see. Come with me, you should meet him,” she says, while looking at her nose in the mirror. Now it seems better.

“Okay, thanks. This day feels like a nightmare to me already,” you say. She furrows her eyebrows.

“Yeah? Why?”

“I don’t know anybody, except for my high school crush, who wasn’t supposed to be here anyway,” you confess her and now you feel relieved, somehow. Talking about it makes it seem more stupid and less of a problem.

“High school crushes are the worst, trust me, I have a lot of experience in this topic. But tell me more! Did you date them?”

“No, he was dating somebody else the whole time. It was exhausting,” you say, then you look at her and you wonder if you saw her in high school too. “What’s your name, again?”

“I didn’t tell you. I’m Robin!” She exclaims, before you stop in front of her friend, who’s smoking a cigarette with some guys outside the college. “What about you?”

You freeze.

“Robin?”

“Yeah. What happened? Are you okay?”

You swallow some air, when you look in front of you, only to see him winking at you.

“Is that your friend?” You ask her, pointing at him.

“Yeah! How do you know that?”

Fuck.  

“I’m…”

Absolutely screwed.  

“Y/N!” Steve says, while walking over you.

“Wait, you’re Y/N? The Y/N?” Robin asks and now you’re more confused than ever.

“How do you know me?”

“Y/N, apparently you met Robin. Robin, this is Y/N, we used to take the bus together. I don’t know if you had ever saw her with me in high school”.

“We weren’t really close in high school, Steve…” You say, feeling a burden over your chest.

“But I saw you,” Robin say, while observing your face. You probably look guilty, right now. Maybe she knew that you liked him, but she has now the confirmation of it.

“We used to take the bus together, that’s all,” you repeated.

“You know, I recall the once you asked me if we were friends and I told you no, but three months ago, when you said goodbye to me, I thought that we totally were. Things change, Y/N”.

Not everything, no. Not your love for him.

“It’s weird, because you used not to know a lot of things about me. You probably don’t even remember what I told you that day,” you say, but your heart knows that you’re lying, because you secretly hopes that he does. That he noticed you.

He shakes his head.

But sadly, you’re never wrong.

“I don’t. Was it important?” He asks you, while he lights up another cigarette.

Robin’s looking at you, but you pray that she can’t see your heart breaking into your eyes. It’s just water, after all. But before that, it’s glass in your eyes. Two pieces of glass that you hold with every strength you have in yourself.

“No, it wasn’t,” you say, with a smile. That fake smile made you survive high school with him.

Then, you apologize to them, but you’re “really busy”, so you “have to go” as far as possible away from this horrible situation. You run to your house, feeling too overwhelmed by everything to think straight, to say hi to your parents, to even breathe.

You were sure that he knew that you liked him more than as a friend in high school. You didn’t expect him to care, you didn’t even want him to acknowledge it with you, but that was enough. He crossed the line, when he tried to be charming again, even if he had a girlfriend. When he winked at you, as he did every damn day in high school. When he tried to be funny with you. You just want some peace.

Two weeks after that, though, you find yourself following Steve again as in high school. You wonder if things can change now, if you can be friends with him like you’d be with another guy, but when you see him winking at you while you’re staring at him smoking, your heart tells you the answer: No. But you try to be that anyway, because you love the way he makes you laugh while you’re trying to study or his dumb jokes about the professors. He always seems so full of self-confidence, he could light up a whole room. Your eyes are always on him as if he was the sun. Too stunning not to look at him. Too stunning to burn your eyes.

“It’s a matter of fact, Y/N: I’m the best at it and you know that”.

“At picking horrible movies? Yeah, I agree with that,” you chuckle.

“I literally work here, Y/N, you’re ruining everything with the clients! Come on, choose something cool for tonight,” he says.

“Footloose is off the list, Steve, don’t give me the puppy eyes,” you reply, while taking Back to the Future.

“Marty McFly? Really?”

“Oh, you know my type: sarcastic, sweet and reckless,” you joke, but the look he gives you is very much eloquent, alongside his crooked smile. Your cheeks are made of Hell’s fire, right now.

“Sounds almost as awesome as me, baby,” he says, but even if his tone is ironic, you doubt that he’s trying to flirt with you, because for a moment it seemed like that.

But you are probably wrong.

***

It has been a month since that day. Robin didn’t say anything to you about Steve, but you know that she understood what’s going on. Luckily, she’s a good friend. You have grown closer to them, but also with another guy, Eddie. He likes playing D&D, rock music and he makes a lot of jokes. He’s really funny, but every time you see Steve, your heart aches in your chest. That’s why you’re thinking about going to another college. You’re sick of feeling that way and the exams are getting closer and closer. Eddie said that he could come with you, since he doesn’t have any friends anyway.

You’re trying to study in your room, when you hear a knock. You turn around, only to see Steve waving at you. He seems to feel the coldness of the air, because it’s raining outside. You open the window, so he can come in.

“There’s the front door for this, Steve,” you say.

“Usually, you say hi to people before you scold them,” he jokes, but you don’t laugh.

“I’m not in the mood. What do you want?”

“Why are you not in the mood?”

“Is there anybody else you can annoy? Robin? Nancy?” You ask, but he glances at you because of the irritated way you said the last name.

“Nancy and I broke up,” he say. Time freezes all around you. You finally look at him, at his face and you gulp. He’s still handsome as he was in high school and this is tearing you apart. It’s incredible how much power he still has over you. He never treated you right before, but you thought to see something that others couldn’t that you loved: his vulnerability, his kindness and his tormented soul. Being the king is amazing, but wearing the crown could feel like a burden, sometimes. And well, you can feel lonely under it. “This Summer, actually”.

You swallow.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say…”

“Don’t be. Now ask my question: why are you not in the mood?”

You shrug.

“It’s nothing, really”.

“Y/N, talk to me,” he says and the way his gaze caresses your shape makes he seem hopeless.

You sigh.

“I’m thinking about moving away,” you say. He doesn’t move a muscle, but the light of your lamp is drawing some scribbles into his eyes.

You wonder if he despise your idea, but before he can say anything, your phone begins to buzz. He notices it and when he sees who’s calling you, he clenches his jaw.

“Don’t answer that,” he orders.

“What? Steve, it’s Eddie”.

“We’re in the middle of something, Y/N”.

“It can wait”.

“No, it can’t!” He exclaims and you flinch. He breathes out, then he puts his hands on his hips. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just… Oh, come on! Just give me some attention, for once”.

“For once?” You ask him. Eddie stopped calling. “I gave you three years of my life, Steve! I’m still doing it”.

“I know,” he says, without pride. You feel a knot in your throat, now.

“You’ve been knowing it all along, right?”

“No…”

“You made fun of me!”

“No, Y/N…” “You loved to be a heartbreaker at high school, didn’t you? Well, you fucking broke my heart, Steve! I hope that you’re happy with it”.

“I didn’t know!” He shouts. You look at him in disbelief. It’s not possible. You thought that he noticed that three years ago, that he knew everything by now… Did you just confess it to him? “If you’d just let me explain… Oh, for the love of… Robin told me, okay? Robin told me that today. She said that I had to stop you, that I was the only one that could. Our college is the best one and you deserve the best. So I asked her why I was the only one to make you change your mind and she said… You know what she said,” he says, without looking at you, but you want him to tell it. To tell what you’re not brave enough to say out loud.

“I don’t”.

He looks at you and you see that his eyes are glossy as yours. It seems almost too painful for him than to you. He’s praying you with a gaze not to say that, but you’re firm. It’s the closest thing you can ask him to say to you to an “I love you”.

“That you’re in love with me,” he says and a sob escapes from your lips. “You’ve been cruel to yourself, Y/N”.

“No, that’s exactly what I deserve to be in love with someone selfish and egocentric like you”.

“I’m not like that anymore, Y/N. Let me prove it,” he says. “Please.”

“I’m not falling for your lies again, Steve. Now get out”.

“I’m gonna leave college!” He blurts out and you freeze again.

“What?”

“So you don’t have to do it”.

“You’re being insane, Steve. Go to bed,” you say, then you take his wrist in order to kick him out, but his skin is burning. He squeezes your hand.

“I remember,” he says. “And I didn’t answer. I’ve been regretting that moment since you walked out the school. I didn’t know what to say”.

“Steve, it’s okay, it’s not that important…”

“No, it is. It is for you. You said: Maybe we’ll meet again. And I didn’t care, because Nancy was about to break up with me and I was losing my throne. And you were just a stop along the ride,” he says and your heart aches for that. “But I was wrong. You’ve been my friend when everybody else was pretending to be one. You loved me even if I didn’t treat you right. You comforted me when I fought with Nance, because you saw me. And you walked past my flaws, every fucking time. I used to think that the worst thing I did in high school was losing Nancy, but now I think that breaking your heart was. I regret not telling you that I imagined that you liked me, because maybe I would have known you better and I would have felt what I feel now for you”.

You feel overwhelmed by his last sentence. It’s what you have always desired to hear from his mouth, what you have always wished for at every birthday of yours, yet it feels just sad now. Perhaps, it’s too late.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m jealous,” he says and you see in the way he flexes his muscles that it costs him an enormous amount of strength to pronounce these words. “Of Eddie. And I know that I have no right to say this, but I am. He was the first one to know about your decision, while I was the cause of it. It broke my heart”.

“Now you know the feeling,” you say, with a smile.

“I guess so. Y/N, please, don’t go. We deserve a chance”.

You look at his hand, that is still on yours and something in your lungs stops working. It’s like you’re out of breath. The emptiness can’t be filled by air, because that has always been his place to be. Not in your heart, but in your lungs, to be oxygen for you to keep walking. To keep living.

“You’re not entitled to be jealous, but neither was I at the time and yet, I was. So I get the feeling, Steve, but I don’t want to be just a replacement of Nancy for you, because I’ve been waiting for this moment for years. You don’t know how painful it is to love somebody who doesn’t want you. And I’ve wanted you for so much time, Steve, so much time…”

“I know, Y/N, but you have to trust me: I see you right now. I see you, standing in front of me and I think that you’re beautiful. And too smart to date somebody like me, but still, I’m praying that you do it anyway,” he says, with a genuine smile on his face and you feel a sense of warmth into your chest.

“You should stop talking and start kissing me, right now,” you reply and so, he does it.

It’s an explosion in your stomach. It’s a dream that comes true when you’ve lost all of your hopes. It has come the day that you’ve finally felt like everything is in its place: his lips on yours, for example. The rain on the leaves in your garden. The heart in your chest that doesn’t hurt anymore.

He finally fixed what he broke a long time ago.

[cross-word]

Red strings.

Ethan Landry x male reader

Word count: 1.1k

You knew about the red string theory from your parents saying that you were a product of it.

With them being pulled together by it the string took years before it appeared when your mom decided to have a trip to New York City. That's when she met your father and their strings turned bright red when they saw each other.

You memorized their love story because you wanted the same thing to happen to you. From childhood to teenage years you watched as everyone dated their soulmates.

Few people were known for being single still and you were one of them “Y/N when are you going to meet your soulmate” your friend asked as she cuddled up to her girlfriend “one day Marie I’m not really in a rush, I know they're out there, I just have to wait for them to show up” you told her resuming studying.

You tried peacefully to study when someone grabbed your book, “oh, look at this nerd studying” you watched as Ethan flipped through your pages laughing at all the notes. He was one of those kids who were just born with photographic memory so he never had to study or try hard.

You watched unimpressed as all his guy friends watched and laughed at you. “Can I have it back Ethan” you ask him, giving out your hand “whatever loser” he said giving your book back before dropping it on the floor before it could reach your hand.

“Whoops,” he said, laughing away. “God I hate him I feel sorry for whoever’s going to be his soulmate” Ethan was also one of the kids who didn’t have or met his soulmate yet. Some people guessed he didn’t have a soulmate because he's an unlovable monster who deserves to die in a hole and go to hell. You were some people.

You zipped past the day bored out of your mind when your friend spoke something that interested you. “Hey, you know some people are going to have a Valentine’s Day party where they’re gonna meet their soulmates” he said smiling “you know who’s throwing the party”, he asked you “idk probably a sad loser who’s too impatient” you told him starting to eat.

“Ethan Landry,” he said, smiling wider, “oh, so I was right?” You said putting food in your mouth. You declined the invitation for Ethan’s party but watched everyone’s social media story of his party, laughing and celebrating and everyone asking Ethan if he got the red string.

Everyone was silent for 10 minutes when he stormed out yelling stuff about the strings being fake and it’s a social experiment and everyone was lying to him.

Ethan didn’t know where to go, after his embarrassing outburst he couldn’t face anyone from the party. When he remembered a certain nerd who also didn’t have a soulmate.

You opened the door to a drunk Ethan sobbing he practically jumped into your arms sobbing about how he’ll never have a soulmate.

You laid him down on your bed and tried to get up when you were stopped by an arm “could you stay with me please” he begged, you looked at him debating whether to do it or not.

“Ugh Jesus Fine” you lay there watching his face from sad to calm and suddenly sleep ‘you look so amazing when you’re not being a pain in the ass” you thought when you felt your heart jump.

In that moment you felt like your ring finger was being tied, you ignored it until you remembered the red string “no no no no you gotta be kidding me” pulling your hand up to see a semi bright red string connected to you, following the string to see Ethan’s fingers.

You decided to call his dad, he was the local sheriff and come get Ethan before he woke up and saw the string.

You waved his car back seeing the red string fade, into a washed red color praying that he doesn’t see it.

When you came to school the first thing you saw was guys jumping around yelling about Ethan getting a soulmate, they were howling and cheering.

You walked past Ethan in the middle when he stood still realizing his string turned bright red, he pushed out of the crowd to see the string being connected to you.

The whole day turned into you avoiding Ethan and him trying to find you.

When you got home you raced for a cutting board and knife and slammed the knife onto the red string. Grabbing scissors and snipping it so hard that your scissors broke. “Hey honey” your mom said “someone’s here for you” she said.

When Ethan came into view “absolutely not” you told him trying to walk away but being stopped by him “c’mon we’re soulmates whether you like it or not you’re stuck with me” he told you.

“No, I don’t care how long it takes. I'm getting this red string off and I’m never seeing you again” you told him before pushing him out of your house and locking him out.

When the next day came around you realized it wasn’t as hectic as usual it seemed everyone had stopped bothering you. “Isn’t today so quiet it’s so nice, no douchebags screaming” you told your friends “you could thank your soulmate about that” he said “what are you talking about” you asked Ethan? He told everybody you're his soulmate. "Your friend explained “thought you had better taste than him but I guess not” your other friend said.

“Ugh whatever” you said leaving your friends. Throughout the next 5 months you’ve noticed Ethan become from this selfish douchebag of a person to a heartfelt caring person.

Even your friends who HATED him started to feel bad about him always getting rejected now you have Ethan and your friends trying to convince you to give him a chance.

You always ignored how the red string would tighten every time he did something sweet for you. First it was the love letter then flowers before you realized your house was covered with flowers and you have a separate drawer in your room just for Ethan’s love letters.

The constant reminders of Ethan started to take a hit on you, you’ve even started to read his letters instead of putting them somewhere to collect dust.

Every letter you read the more you realize you like Ethan for who he is now. Before you knew it the red string started to glow. It didn't take long for a knock at your door, your mom telling you someone was here for you. It didn’t take long for you to realize who it was.

“I knew you’d love me soon enough” he said smiling and holding you, “whatever you say” smiling at him.

Everyone soon found out that Ethan and his soulmate got together and it seemed like everything was aligned with the universe. As long as Ethan had you next to him everything was good.

[mswyrr]

Things like prolonged abuse can give people very uneven social and emotional development. They can be very responsible and "mature for your age" in some areas and also very stunted and immature in others.

This can also happen for, say, LGBT people who were closeted during pivotal periods of development too, where dating and discovering themselves happens later and there can be a development gap for a time. And grief around never getting to be a kid when they were a kid can be a thing for people once they try to connect with the things they had to cut off because they weren't safe to feel them. I went through some of that myself, from various sources, so I have a lot of empathy for that and how absurd/frustrating it can be.

(And a lot of hope - it doesn't, as far as I've seen and experienced, take someone very long to "catch up" after a while of fumbling around like an idiot)

Anyway - sometimes I see people reading Carmy's "accidental fuckboi" behavior in terms of how a grown man who's been dating since he was a teen would be thinking/feeling, if he behaved like that. But, for me, I interpret that differently because of the “first” situation and the developmental stuff. IMO, he's basically being a feckless/inexperienced teenager dating for the first time here, because in this area of his life he is still developmentally a dumb feckless teenager (and one who is trying and failing "not to be shitty" without much of a clue what that looks like).

Doesn't make the harm less real, but the intent I think is shaped deeply by the fact that, for the first time in his life, he feels safe enough (because of how much responsibility Sydney and Nat are taking on and that is absolutely not fair to them!!) to try to enjoy things. And he thinks maybe he can even make that work with being responsible somehow, but... utterly clueless about how.

There's the caveat that he didn't go out and choose to start dating at this pivotal moment for the business - dating found him and there's complexities around how much he wanted it to find him right here and now and how much he feels obligated to be what his family/friends/Claire wants him to be. I think he'd have been able to turn down anyone who wasn't as deeply tied to his family as Claire, and I'm not ignoring his agency in the situation, but they chose to bring someone in who he'd find it incredibly difficult to balance pleasing/doing what he's expected to do by while balancing everything else for a reason.

The "executive function" stuff where he's staring at the calls coming in and unable to answer either of them is key for me, in terms of this being someone who just isn't functioning well rn at all and is coming to a real crisis point and trying to ignore that/salve that any way he can think of. Masking really hard and deep in denial and trying to keep a lot of plates spinning without being very intentional about any of it.

It leads to sucky behavior and he's responsible for that--and the other characters can and should hold him responsible for that, but especially for actually addressing the core gravity warping untreated mental illness that's motivating a lot of this frantic rushing around and being a prick-- but I don't personally see much of it as a crime of intent. Intent requires a level of insight and experience that he doesn't have in the area of dating specifically lol

That balance of someone being responsible for their actions but also, for various reasons, in a place that mitigates and shapes what they're able to do--based on the tools they have--is an interesting part of the story that gets touched on again and again through various characters. It's interesting and it can coexist with the people around someone having the right to protect their own peace and boundaries.

[bbutterflies]

2023 fanfic year in review

Thank you @kasienda for the tag!!! Been meaning to do this since I wrote so much in 2023!

Fics completed this year:

Oh my god I was writing lovesquare still at the beginning of the year… who was I back then… I finished I’d fall in love with you a thousand times and Meant to be, and then wrote all of Intertwined. I try to hold these all in kind thoughts. I don’t think they’re all that great, personally, but I just hadn’t written as much when I wrote them and never outlined or planned ahead. But I’m happy people liked them!

And then I went off the deep end with adrino:

I’ll give myself a name (something stupid and pretentious)

Falling into place

ways to say I love you

promise me forever

The memories we (don’t) make

Not much of a cat person

The moment I knew (I’d no choice but to love you)

Chemistry with him (for Ninovember 2023! I wrote the entire thing in about a month and a half and posted daily in November. My life took a serious turn for the worse by the end of the month and the comments and support on this fic were so amazing and incredible and kept me going!)

Love you snow much

And then I ended strong with this incredibly devastating (but really good) loveywalker one shot: fine line

Number of words written:

My ao3 stats say I published 329,988 words in 2023 which is insane????? I don’t know how I did that but oh my god it was so fun. I know I wrote way more that I didn’t publish with edits and stuff I scrapped, but I don’t keep track because it would just be way too difficult… at least another 100-150k if I had to guess in cut scenes and wips I haven’t published and stuff I just decided I didn’t like. I don’t know how in the world I managed to write so much while already a sleep-deprived grad student but I definitely don’t regret it. It was a blast.

Your most popular fic:

By hits, Meant to be. Oh man… if I wrote this now I’d do so much differently. I was surprised people loved it so much, and looking back, I’m like oh god… the mistakes… but it’s all a learning process! :) and I learned and grew so much from this one.

By kudos, ways to say I love you, which I didn’t expect to gain any traction at all. It’s just over 600 words, something silly and cute I figured a couple people would like, and it totally blew up.

Your personal fav:

I know I’ve said this before but Falling into place, hands down, is my number one. I know I’ve also said before it’s such a queer, teenage experience, but it is and it means so much to me. Being in high school, being in love with your friends and not even knowing it, aughhh I just love it. I love the way I wrote it. I’m so proud of it still!

Your fav scene:

Oh man… probably the kiss scene in chapter 9 of The moment I knew (I’d no choice but to love you). I wrote it so many times and made so many edits but I ended up so proud of it!

A fic or scene that challenged you:

I had a lot of fun with most of my fics! Having multiple wips on the backburner gave me a way to take a break and work on other stuff when I was having trouble with one and I can usually come back with fresh eyes later and never have too much trouble. But right now, If I hold you too close is challenging emotionally. It’s super personal and self-indulgent, and digging into a lot of my own past and traumas and mistakes to write it has been harder than I thought it would be. I’m excited to keep working on it but it’s been draining at times for sure.

A line of writing you’re proud of: 

Oh man, I don’t know how to pick a single line… I’ll have to go with this (even though it’s technically more than one line) from Falling into place:

Adrien’s eyes were locked on Nino’s. He was staring back with something in his expression Adrien couldn’t quite read, something he hadn’t seen before. Or maybe he had but he’d just never been looking.

A comment that touched you:

A few come to mind! I’ve had several people comment on my adrino fics telling me they hadn’t shipped them before but they do after reading, and honestly that’s my number one life goal at the moment haha. I love adrino! I want more people to love them!

I genuinely love all the comments I get. It means so much that people read and love my work. The people who say so specifically always get me teared up… I’ve gotten several on my fluff fics that said they were going through stuff in life and my writing was a bright spot for them, and genuinely that’s insane to me. To touch someone else, to have a positive impact on their life through art…. oughhh it’s just so human and raw and I love it! I’m so honored!

Something that inspired your writing:

I honestly spent a lot of time writing what I personally wanted/needed to read! I needed more domestic adrino fluff, and I wasn’t finding quite what I wanted to read, so… I wrote it for myself! I love rereading them knowing it’s exactly what I want to read, and knowing other people enjoyed them too. I’ve been incredibly selfish in my writing this year (in the best way) and it’s been so inspiring also to see other people want to read it too! The moment I knew (I’d no choice but to love you) was something I didn’t think would garner much attention at all. A rarepair and a super silly trope? I thought whatever, I’m writing it for me, hopefully a couple others like it, and it got so much more positive attention than I thought. I’m so glad!

Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

Probably figuring out I’ll give myself a name (something stupid and pretentious)! I think I’ve mentioned before I was originally writing it as a lovesquare fic. I wrote it and rewrote it like six times before I thought, no, this should be about Adrien and Nino. And then it just clicked!

Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

I have a secret wip in my docs I’ve talked about a couple times, but it’s a slowburn teenage adrino and I really would love to write all of it! I think I’m struggling to decide exactly what kind of story I want to tell and it’s making it hard to outline and write when I don’t have a clear end direction, but that’s something I’d definitely love to figure out.

And I’d love to get back into lovesquare, too! I have a few wips that I keep putting on the backburner but I really want to dust them off and finish them, and maybe start some new stuff. Writing my loveywalker fic was SO fun (if devastating) and I can’t believe it’s been months since I sat down and wrote lovesquare.

This isn't a direct writing goal, but I'm determined to comment more on fics I read. I love getting comments, and I don't leave them enough on the fics I love, and that's something I really want to change!

Anyone you would like to thank?

@kasienda and @flightfoot I think are tied for commenting on my fics, and it really means so much to have cheerleaders in my inbox!!! Especially writing adrino when readership is lower, it was a huge help to have people reading and commenting and cheering me on <3

@asukiess and @isabugs recently for screaming with me in general about this show! You’ve inspired me to write so much more… I can’t wait to be absolutely unhinged in 2024.

And all my commenters on ao3!! I don’t know everyone’s tumblr and couldn’t possibly tag them all but it means so much every time I get a comment. I wouldn’t be writing as much as I do without the direct support! Thank you!!!

[dannystheone]

We’re Gonna MAKE You Remember! (Lee Kenny/Ler Stan)

Hey guys! Here’s the ADHD Kenny fic for you! I’m actually running low on requests and inspiration so if anyone has any ideas, my DM’s are open! I’d actually be also open to a little Genshin if anyone has a drabble idea just to mix things up, I’m sure you guys are sick of constant SP lol just let me know! 

also this comes from my own ADHD experiences I’m so stubborn when it comes to lists and reminders because I gaslight myself and tell myself I’ll remember something but I NEVER do 💀 I’ve been doing better and putting things in my notes app though 

also i didn’t feel like doing kenny mumbles it’s kinda hard lel 

WARNINGS: Teenagers swearing! They’re aged up in this

 The boys are sick and tired of Kenny always forgetting the things they tell him to get for them when out on grocery runs! After the millionth time, they make sure he doesn’t forget. 

                                          ```````````````````````````````````````````````` 

 “Dude get off. GET OFF! Dammit, I’m down.” Stan rolled his eyes as he shot zombies from his character’s laying position on the ground. Kyle axed through zombie’s heads as he tried to locate Stan’s glowing figure on the map to help him. 

 “Ah dude, you’re like three floors up! How the hell am I supposed to reach you?” Kyle sighed as he packed a pipe bomb and picked up more ammo from the supply station. It was Throwback Thursday and Game Night, so the boys settled on Left 4 Dead 2 to play. They were in a Versus match with four other people online on the opposite team playing as the zombies. Cartman cackled as Stan’s character, Nick, screamed out in pain as the zombies stomped on him. 

 “Bahahaha! Look at Stan dying! Get good already, dickface!” Cartman’s character, Coach, started tea-bagging Nick as he shot the zombies surrounding Nick’s body. 

 “Dude, Cartman revive me!” Stan demanded. Cartman shoved chips in his mouth as he started shooting Stan’s character. Nick took substantial damage and started cursing out Coach. 

 “Ahahaha! Suck me off, asshole!” Cartman left Nick with worst health than he found him in, and threw pipe-bombs down below near Kyle. 

 “Cartman, you fucking asshole! Help us!” Just at that moment, Kyle was caught by a smoker on the third balcony. Kyle’s character, Rochelle, started kicking her legs as she was trapped from the smoker’s tongue. 

 “AYE! If anyone’s exterminating Jew’s it’s me!” Cartman’s character sniped the smoker. The smoker died from a headshot and released Kyle’s character. 

 “Oh finally, you’re actually useful- DUDE!” Don’t fucking shoot me, douchebag!” Kyle shouted at Cartman. Cartman laughed with his mouth full of chips. 

 “Aaaaand I’m dead. Thanks guys.” Stan’s square of the screen read that his character was dead, and spectated Kyle’s screen as Rochelle. Stan sighed and threw himself back to lean on the couch. The door opened behind the boys as someone stepped inside the house. 

 “Omph, hey guymphs.” Kenny walked into the living room carrying grocery bags with him. Stan turned back to greet him as Kyle and Cartman kept playing. 

 “’Sup dude. Jump in, we got you as Ellis. Dead Center finale. D’you get the soda?” Kenny sat down on the couch as Stan started rifling through the grocery bags. 

  “M’yeah, I got the soda. Dude it cost two more bucks than last time for no reason.” Kenny removed his hood and shook out his blonde locks. Stan cracked open a cold one and took a sip out of it.

 “CARTMAN! Get me up already!” Kyle exclaimed. A jockey got Rochelle down to the ground, and a spitter spat directly onto his position. Kenny settled into the couch as both him and Stan watched the carnage. 

 “Can’t. I’m down too.” Coach got down from harassing an aggressive tank, and was sure he could mow down the zombie horde when he covered the tank in boomer bile. However, there were too many zombies at once, plus a stalking hunter that finished him off. 

 “This is what happens when you shoot your teammates, you fucking retard!” Kyle rolled his eyes as Cartman shifted on his beanbag chair and pointed a fat finger in his face. 

 “AYE! That’s half the fun, Kahl! Left 4 Dead is boring as shit if you don’t shoot your teammates!” Cartman retorted. The living room was filled with the agonized screams of the dying characters and the growls of the zombies, before eventually cutting to the loading screen after both characters died. 

 Kyle turned back to greet Kenny and look through the grocery bags. “’Sup Kenny. Did you get the Twizzlers like I asked?” Kenny snapped his fingers as his face looked enlightened. 

 “Thaaaat’s what I forgot! I swear I was gonna fucking lose it. I knew I forgot something I just didn’t know what. I got Oreos though.” Kenny offered the package to Kyle, but Kyle turned him down. 

 “Uh, no thanks man, I don’t like Oreos.” Cartman perked up at the sound of food and snatched the package from Kenny’s hands. 

 “I’ll be taking that, thank you, ‘food stamps’.” Kenny rolled his eyes at the nickname as Stan turned to Kenny. 

 “Oh Kenny sorry, did you get the M n’ M’s I asked for? I texted you about them.” Stan looked up to Kenny on the couch. Kenny held the side of his neck as he sighed. 

 “Sorry Stan. Totally slipped my mind. I was thinking about them too, but I passed by the aisle.” Stan’s gaze turned downcast as he sipped his soda again. 

 “Uh, it’s alright dude, no sweat.” Cartman scrolled through his phone as Kyle picked up his controller. 

 “Hey ‘beggar’ did you get my Ding-Dong’s and Ho-Ho’s and Twinkies?” Cartman asked Kenny. Kenny didn’t like these new nicknames he was trying out for size. 

 “Damn fatass you want the whole fucking store?” Kyle accused. 

 “Shut your ass up Jew! I know your gun is pink choosing Rochelle as your character, gaywad!” Cartman pointed at a frustrated Kyle. 

 “My gun isn’t pink!!” Kyle shouted back. 

 “Uh Cartman, I forgot. Sorry. I don’t even remember you asking for all that stuff to be honest...” Kenny spoke up. The boys inwardly groaned as less and less snacks were available for the hangout. 

 Stan looked up to Kenny and threw up his hands. “Dude what the hell is going on? You forgot nearly everything we asked for, and this isn’t the first time this has happened either.” Kyle looked back at Kenny and agreed with Stan. 

 “Yeah man, about half of the stuff we ask for or all the stuff we ask for just slips your mind. And I tell you every single time to bring a grocery list, but you-” Kenny put up his hands as he scooched forward on the couch. 

 “I don’t like bringing grocery lists ‘cause the list is too small to need one.” Kenny explained. Cartman turned his head to the side without taking his eyes off his phone. He was scrolling through a #shitpost channel in a Discord server. 

 “Clearly not dipshit, if you’re forgetting the whole fucking thing.” Cartman called out. “We can’t even hang out like this if we don’t have anything to fucking eat!” 

 “Well what do you guys want from me? I don’t know why I forget stuff, it’ll just be in my brain one minute and then it goes *poof* like it was never there.” Kenny made it look like his brain was blowing up with both his hands to accentuate his point.

 “We want you to swallow your pride and go back to the store with a list this time. So you don’t forget anything.” Stan stated, straightforward. Kenny put up his hands with his eyes closed. 

 “Alright, alright, just tell me everything you guys want and I’ll go back and get it.” Kenny said. Kyle shook his head, his curls swishing from side to side. 

 “No dude that’s not gonna work. Bring a list with you so you don’t forget any groceries this time.” Kyle tried for lightness, but Kenny’s stubbornness was starting to upset him.

 “I don’t need it guys, I got it! It’ll just be a few things, I’ll remember this time!” Kenny argued. Stan pinched his two eyelids together to suppress a headache as Cartman swiftly stood up from his beanbag chair. Well, as swiftly as he could anyway. 

 “Alright Kenny, you give us no other choice. Just remember we gave you plenty of chances. Stan, go grab a marker from the junk drawer in my kitchen. Kyle, help me out here.” Stan stood up to do what he was told, and figured Cartman would just fill out the list himself on paper and hand it to Kenny. Stan walked into the kitchen and started opening random drawers to try and locate the marker. 

 “Hey what- DUDE! What the- GET OFF! GUYS!” Stan located a black marker eventually, but heard commotion from the living room. Stan ran back to the living room to see Kyle and Cartman wrestling down a resisting Kenny. 

 “What the fuck-” Stan stuttered as Cartman looked up from his place. He had Kenny’s left arm and Kyle had his right. Kenny was in a half-squatting position while he bucked and tried to throw his friends off of him. 

 “Stan! Grab his legs!” Cartman pointed and ordered at Stan. Kenny threw his elbow back to try and jab Kyle in the gut. He turned wild as Stan advanced toward him and kicked his legs out. 

 “Get the hell off me!” Kenny demanded as Stan took hold of his legs and all three boys lowered a writhing Kenny onto the carpet. Kyle sat on the floor and hugged Kenny’s arm between his legs, while Cartman was less courteous and just sat on his elbow. Kenny growled as Stan parted his legs and sat on his thigh. 

 “Alright Stan, take this down.” Cartman reached forward and grabbed the hem of Kenny’s jacket and shirt and lifted it up to his chest, revealing his bronzed skin. Stan put two and two together as he uncapped the black marker he had. 

 “Guys seriously, get the hell off me! I’ll remember, I swear!” Kenny twisted and squirmed underneath his friends, his pants riding lower on his hips with his struggling. Stan held Kenny’s bare side to keep him steady. 

 “Alright, we want more Dr. Pepper, we need M n’ M’s, the Ding-Dong’s, the Ho-Ho’s-” Kyle listed off. Stan ducked his head and started writing down the grocery list onto Kenny’s bare tummy. Kenny huffed and started to sputter under Stan’s marker; his tough guy struggling crumbling as soon as the marker started to write. 

 “Pfft- Pfmhmhmt- St-Stahan! S-Stop it!” Stan held a tighter grip on Kenny’s side to keep the skin taught, but it slipped under his thumb as Kenny’s tummy spasmed. Stan’s eyebrows furrowed as he wrote out every word as legibly as he could. 

 “Okay, Ding-Dong’s, Ho-Ho’s, M n’ M’s, what else?” Stan was finishing up a few words on Kenny’s skin while trying to keep the marker steady on Kenny’s shuddering tummy. 

 “Oh, we need Twizzlers, Junior Mints and Coke.” Kyle recited. Kenny took a breath as Stan flattened Kenny’s stomach and wrote the continuing grocery list underneath the initial groceries. Kenny laughed out as he twisted and pulled at his elbows. Kyle hugged Kenny’s arm tighter to his chest to better restrain him, while Cartman scrolled through his phone. 

 “Pfftah- ahahaha! Stan- Stahahahan!” Kenny giggled and brought up his one free leg fruitlessly. Stan’s eye winced in concentration as he tried to keep his lettering straight across Kenny’s belly, but his flexing was making it hard. At least it was a flat surface. He couldn’t imagine trying to write on Cartman’s folds. 

 “Dude quit fucking squirming- Jesus-” Stan complained and pushed down on Kenny’s hip to finish up the last of the lettering. 

 “I cahahahan’t hehehehelp it ahahahasshole!” Kenny yelled out, and tried to fold himself in half to escape the marker. His belly made a small wrinkle as he curled himself up, and smudged the writing. 

 “Aw dude, what the fuck, Kenny? Now I have to write over what I just wrote so you can read it.” Stan, completely oblivious to what he was subjecting his friend to, forced Kenny to straighten out his belly and started writing over the words he already wrote. 

 “Aahahahaha! Fuhuhuhuck- Stahahahan stohohohop! Pl-Plehehehease!” Kenny’s free leg kicked out just to bring itself back up again in a desperate attempt to protect himself. That damn marker was too teasy. Kenny was gonna shove it so far up Stan’s...Kyle watched Stan write down the grocery list curiously as Kenny’s tummy pulsed up and down with his laughter. 

 “Alright, anything else?” Stan asked as he re-wrote the grocery items. Kenny laid limp and breathed out on the carpet as Cartman spoke up. 

 “Yeah, we’re gonna need three packs of Mega-Stuf Oreos, two liters of Sprite and three bags of Doritos. Make sure you get the Cool Ranch ones or I’m sending you back a third time.” Cartman stated. Kyle rolled his eyes as Stan began writing down the requested groceries. Kenny’s laughter filled up the living room again as Kyle looked at Cartman. 

 “Chrihihist! Stohohop ahahalready! This- Thihihis suhuhuhucks!” Kenny cried out as his tummy tried curling up in protection. Stan was writing over the skin above his belly button now. The surface was a bit raised here from the flat muscle, but the contracting from his laughter made the area shaky. 

 “You wonder why you’re tubby, fatboy.” Kyle antagonized Cartman. Kenny’s hand clenched and swatted for Kyle’s face. Kyle’s head jolted back at the small attempted attack, and bat Kenny’s hand in retaliation. 

 “I’d be big boned any day of the week than a retarded Jew, Kahl.” Cartman didn’t look up from his phone as Cartman retaliated. Kyle scoffed as Stan finished the last item on Kenny’s stomach. 

 “Okay, that’s three liters of Sprite, two bags of Cool Ranch Doritos, and three packs of Double-Stuf Oreos-” Cartman shook his head as he looked up at Stan from his phone. 

 “No no no. It was TWO liters of Sprite, three bags of Cool Ranch Doritos and three packs of MEGA-Stuf Oreos.” Cartman quoted. Stan pushed back his hat as it fell into his eyes. Kenny breathed underneath the three of them with his head back on the carpet. 

 “Oh crap. Well what should I do? It’s already on him?” Stan asked. Kyle shrugged. 

 “Just scribble it off and write it again.” Kyle suggested. Stan shrugged himself as he took the marker and scribbled out the writing on Kenny’s belly. Kenny jolted and bucked his hips to try and throw off the marker with renewed energy. 

 “GAHAHA-hahahad! Nohohoho no no stohohop!” Kenny’s eyes screwed shut as Stan blacked-out the numbers for the Sprite, Doritos, AND corrected the name on the Oreos. Stan tightened his knees around Kenny’s thigh to keep him steady, and started to write the new requested numbers over the scribbles in smaller font. 

 “Jeez Kenny, you’re jumpy today- what gives?” Kyle asked his friend. Kenny’s hair shook against Kyle’s shoe as he laughed with pink cheeks. His arm hung loose in Kyle’s grip as he stopped fighting at that point and just waited for it to be over. 

 “It fuhuhuhucking- pfft- ahahaha- hahahahaa! Stahahan I’m gohohohonna kihihihill yohohohou!” The tips of Kenny’s ears burned as Stan finished up the rest of the changes made to the grocery list. 

 “Okay...alright. That should be it. Anything else guys?” Stan asked. Kyle and Cartman exchanged glances and shrugged as Kenny slumped back on the floor. 

 “I think that should be it. We’re gonna order the pizza, so we’ll be good on dinner.” Kyle said. Stan nodded as the three boys got up off of their friend. Kenny slowly rose up off the floor and pulled his shirt down in a huff. 

 “You got all that Kenny? You good? You were acting really weird when we were writing down that grocery list.” Stan laid a supportive hand on Kenny’s shoulder. Kenny bumped his hand off and stepped away from his friend. 

 “Yeah, cause you assholes were holding me down and tickling me the whole time!” Kenny exclaimed with splayed hands. Stan, Kyle and Cartman all had confused looks on their faces. 

 “...Ooooooh!” They all said in unison with brightened expressions when it hit them. Kenny scoffed as he threw his hood back on his head. 

 “That makes sense. Well, you coulda said something earlier! Well, anyway, go ahead and grab that really quick at the market and we can hang out sooner.” Kyle clapped a hand on Kenny’s back as they sent him on his way. Kenny tightened his hoodie strings in embarrassment as he walked towards the door. 

 “Fumph youmph guymphs. Serioumphly...” Kenny grumbled and headed out the door.

                                              ``````````````````````````````````````` 

 At the grocery store, Kenny carried a basket in one hand filled with soda, candy and cookies. He was sure he was forgetting items, but he tried his hardest to remember everything possible. He wouldn’t even think about what was tattooed on his stomach, because every time he did, he could feel the teasy trace of the marker on his skin. 

 When he knew for a fact that he was forgetting things from his basket, and did NOT want to go through everything he had to go through a second time, he made his way to the mirror aisle. 

 Kenny set his basket down and begrudgingly lifted his hoodie and shirt to glance at the grocery list on his tummy. His belly above his navel was tattooed with three lines of groceries, with a mess of scribbles on the bottom line where Stan had messed up. Kenny’s face burned to a crisp at the sight, and shoved his hoodie down with a furious quickness. 

 No matter how much he would never admit it, the list actually did help Kenny remember what he needed from the store for his friends. And after that experience, Kenny definitely left the house with a grocery list more often. 

[rodeoradio]

Chronically online trans people need to get normal about detransition … the reality is that if you’re in irl queer/trans spaces you are going to meet people who have detransitioned, people who have retransitioned, and people who still identify as trans but in a different way than they used to. Trans healthcare means gender affirming care for everyone, including people who choose to get on different hormones or even reverse surgeries. I think we also need to talk about how even 5 years ago you couldn’t really access hormones and surgeries unless you presented as binary- so now you have a lot of non binary people who really did need access to medical transition and were forced to ID and present as binary to access it realizing that they actually wanted or needed either a lower level of hormones or different surgical options- but it was kind of all or nothing at the time, especially for minors. Health insurance also often only covers full-on top surgery even if someone would rather get a reduction (once again, especially for minors.) I had terrible chest dysphoria- looking back, top surgery saved my life, I’d probably be happier if I got a radical reduction- but my insurance wouldn’t pay for that, even if I had known that’s what I wanted. Not to mention the hordes of truscum who told nonbinary and gnc trans people “no, you’re not really trans, and if you are- you need to ID as binary and want full dose T and top surgery.” And that sort of rhetoric has bled into today’s “T makes you bald and hairy, what did you expect?” and “you can’t pick and choose what hormones do for you! It won’t turn you into an androgynous twink! Either be okay with every effect or don’t go on hormones!” Well, actually, this rhetoric is wrong and is doing a lot of harm too. We shouldn’t demonize the more obviously masculinizing effects of T, it’s absolutely what some people want and need. But you can work with an endocrinologist to do things like prevent baldness, bottom growth (to some extent), and facial hair growth if you want to. You can go on T for a short amount of time and stop whenever you want. We shouldn’t be discouraging people from taking it slow and experimenting with what they want. When you tell people that an androgynous transition isn’t possible, you’re just feeding into the gatekeeping of the medical system and upholding truscum beliefs that caused people to feel like they needed to be “really trans” and transition “all the way”

I understand that seeing detransitioners can be scary- seeing some select detransitioners be paid god knows how much to rally against trans rights and be used as political pawns by the right is terrifying- and your anger is justified. But- you do not have the right to cast all people who detransition or retransition in this light- there are many fighting on the side of trans people, but the difference is that you don’t see them because they’re not being funded by the government. Not to mention that so so many people who choose to reverse some aspects of their medical and social transition, including myself, are still trans. I don’t consider what I’m doing detransition, and I love my trans body, I just have to work a little bit backwards in my transition because the only way I could save my life by accessing gender confirming healthcare as a teenager was by identifying as binary. I just wish I had been presented with all my options, and access to them.

[artzychic27]

Who would be the DC parents for the Science Kids? I can see Aurore being Aquaman’s daughter (and creating fake rain with hydrokenisis like Lapis on Room for Ruby). Jean would be Zatanna’s for obvious reasons. Simon could be Flash’s kid (using his speed to edit his videos even quicker) and Reshma’s could be Poison Ivy, I guess (reference to class of heroes, where she is Isabella).

Aurore: Aquaman

A lot of her stuff is waterproof from her books to her electronics

Would join the school’s swim team, but that doesn’t seem fair

She hates dolphins. They’re just all fucking bastards…

Aurore has a tendency to smack sea food out of peoples hands. She knows most of them!

The Beauréals experimented with sperm and egg donors to ensure they had perfect, well-rounded children. Though, they didn’t account for Aquaman being a sperm donor

Mireille: Black Canary

When she was born, Mireille cried so loud and temporarily deafened everyone on the hospital floor

Black Canary helped take care of Mireille for three years before she had to leave for a few missions. She occasionally stops by to help Mireille with her powers and to intimidate Alec

When she heard Theo was being bullied at school, she walked right up to the bastard and screamed

Mireille has some light streaks in her hair

Jean: Zatanna

He’s pretty good at talking backwards

Has never failed a single magic trick, and if someone tries to mess one up, they can expect a flock of doves in their locker

Occasionally leaves a few roses in a certain brunette’s locker

After his wife left, Dejah went out to clear his head, met Zatanna at a bar, and now he’s got a magic son

Lacey: Beast Boy

She still has her normal skin tone, but when she turns into animals, she’s mint green

Her favorite forms are mountain lions, lemurs, and just any animal that’s good at climbing

Not technically her dad. Beast Boy donated some of his blood because Lacey had some medical problems when she was born

He’s more like her godfather

Also, she’s not a strict vegetarian, but sometimes eating meat makes her uncomfortable

Cosette: Static Shock

Can charge ten phones in under three seconds

Braids its hair back so it’s not sticking up at the ends, becuase that gets annoying fast

Her mom participated in a newly funded military program involving superpowered sperm and egg donors

Will annoy you with 90s slang, courtesy of her dad

Cosette: Dayumn! What’s got you trippin’?

Jean: Please speak according to our current decade!

Cosette: *Scoffs* Buzzkill.

Jean: That! That, too!

Zoé: Batman

Zoé served as one of his many, many Robins before she moved to Paris after an… Incident at her school

She was surprised to find herself in a classroom of superpowered teenagers, especially since she knows most of their parents

Audrey had several affairs, so why not one with Bruce Wayne?

She keeps a lot of weapons on her person

Incredibly athletic, intelligent, and able to take down any superhuman

Zoé: *Looks at Marc* … So, did Dick do Starfire, or what?

Marc: Starfire

On Tamaran, his name is pronounced as Myzan'r

When he gets angry or upset, Marc’s eyes glow bright green as a sign that he’s charging his laser eyes

Is FIERCELY protective of his brother

For his protection, Starfire and [Censored] had Marc live with Penny and Alyssa Anciel after his aunt attempted to sell Marc into slavery like she did with Starfire when they were younger. Long story short, Marc tore open an alien ship with his bare hands when he was seven

Tamaraneans are known for their iron stomachs, so this guy will eat just about anything you put in front of him

Marc: I’ll have you know, I have a refined pallet.

Cosette: “Refined,” my ass. You ate a meat lovers pizza coated in chocolate syrup and sour gummy bears.

Denise: Wonder Woman

Already tall, strong, and insanely gorgeous like an Amazon, so why not?

Like Marc, Denise is VERY protective of Cerise

Was close friends with Flavio Cabello’s grandparents back in the 40s, and because of that, she created Denise the same way she was created when Flavio and Pilar were having trouble conceiving until they had Cerise

Wears a LOT of jewelry, so no one questions the silver cuff bracelets

Simon: The Flash

Can edit fifty videos in three seconds and is fast enough to escape any assholes trying to shove him in a locker when Denise isn’t around

Sometimes they like to mess with the other students, just when they need a moment of peace and quiet

The Flash saved him from the house fire his parents didn’t bother to safe him from, donated some blood, and now Simon has his powers and a new godfather

He can run across the world in only eight seconds, but still prefers to be princess-carried by Denise

Ismael: Superman

In the Cool Aliens club with Marc

This guy can get hit by a truck and still keep walking as if nothing happened

Likes to eavesdrop on conversations with his super hearing and then blackmail certain people

Ismael’s egg donor had an affair long before she divorced Fazli

Fazli was able to get full custody after Superman got her arrested. Because Superman don’t take kindly to child abuse

Reshma: Poison Ivy

Likes to decorate her clothes with flowers and vines. Her style is post All-Of-You-Isabela, VERY colorful

Her hair has some tints of red in it

She was sent to Paris when she was five seeing as it was getting too dangerous in Gotham

Reshma was made in a lab as one of Poison Ivy’s sporelings, and she has a slight magenta tint to her skin

She likes making flower crowns for her friends

[spid3r-trans]

PLEAAASE write something for prowlerbyte 😭🙏🏽

a/n: i was so excited to get this message omg. This one is directly based off of this art work by @bubblypinkfreak !! i love these kids

--

“We’re just going in and out, got it?” Miles Morales of Earth-1610 tells him. “C’mon, are you even listening, man?” 

He’s not listening. His eyes are fixed on the portal that appeared in front of him, watching it distort and spin with a burning intensity. If the place they’re headed to can make hundreds of watches that can do this, well, Miles of Earth-42 can’t imagine what other tech they have there. Tech he can use. 

“I hear you, I hear you,” he tells his doppelgänger, his mask sliding over his face and distorting his voice. “Let’s do this.”

His first experience with interdimensional travel reveals that it is as strange as it is unpleasant— almost like he’s free-falling, but directionally. He’s not usually one to get queasy, but Miles’ stomach flips with the sensation. He can’t help but be grateful when his feet connect to solid ground. 

The group of spandex-wearing teenagers he’s accompanying are unphased, talking in low voices about their big plan—ignoring the way the ground shifts below them— the panel they’re standing on beginning to rise. 

Miles isn’t sticky like the rest of them are. When the elevator panel starts to rotate, flipping the group of teenagers upside down, he doesn’t bother trying to hang on. He drops back to the ground below, the shock absorbers in his shoes reducing the worst of the fall, and tries to take in his surroundings. 

The place is huge, that’s for sure. There doesn’t seem to be anyone in his immediate vicinity, but getting around unnoticed isn’t going to be easy. His suit is particularly lacking in the spandex department, and even if he were to take his mask off, he happens to share a face with the universe’s most wanted teenager. Plus, the band of spider-delinquents he’s supposed to be with will surely come looking for him when they realize he’s missing. He needs to move quickly—and he needs to move now. 

Miles was right about the tech here. Screens beep and buzz down every corridor he turns, holographs appear with no clear point of projection, gravity is casually defied—even the ringing sound of the alarm comes from all around despite there not being a speaker in sight. 

Those idiots. Miles presses himself into a corner as a group of Spider-People rush past. He knows he should probably go help his pseudo-team, but the room is clear now, and something catches his eye. 

There’s a flash, and a giant metal spider crawls back into its home on the ceiling. Or at least, he hopes it’s a robot. He can’t really tell from here, he needs to get closer. 

His mask disengages as he inspects the equipment— he can’t get close to the spider creature— but the scanner itself moves around like it’s…animate. Miles’ curiosity makes him careless. He doesn’t notice she’s there until she’s behind him. 

“Let me guess,” She says, her voice clear and amused, unphased by how quickly he whirls around with his claw raised. “You’re Miles, right?”

He stares at her and squints— until she smiles. 

He can’t help the way his guard lowers.

“I’m Margo.”

He’s heard that name before. She’s on their side— the “inside man—” as the others had called her. She’s the one keeping an eye on the situation inside of HQ, providing them with the opportunity that let them get here undetected. It hadn’t really mattered to him before, but now that he’s face-to-face with her, it’s no longer something he can ignore. 

Just like he can’t ignore the erratic beating of his own heart.  

She’s undeterred by his lack of response— or the way his mouth hangs slightly open as she inspects him. 

“I like your braids, they look really nice on you.”

God, his mouth is so dry. He has to swallow, trying to push down the red that he can feel rising to his cheeks. 

“Also that suit is fire! Did you make it yourself?” 

Miles can barely nod, trying to force words out of his mouth with little success. “You gotta show me the sketches for it sometime.”

The alarm changes, getting shriller and more urgent— demanding their attention. She raises an eyebrow at him. 

“Lemme guess, that has something to do with you.” 

He barely has time to give a sheepish shrug before the large bay doors slide open, a hoard of spider-themed ‘heroes’ push their way through. 

Miles sees his opportunity and takes it, sliding his ungloved hand into Margo’s—trying not to think too hard about the way their fingers lock perfectly. 

 “Run.”