#but . i feel bad . for needing stuff bc i could live without it... it would just be somewhat harder

[romaevelizz]

His Conscious

James ‘Bucky’ Barnes x Asgardian!femreader

sum: She’d had been with him for decades for a short time physically, then only in his subconscious. Through good and bad she had been with him until she wasn’t, once reunited not everything is so great.

warning: reader is 100% overpowered(idc), cursing, unrealistic stuff bc it’s a fan fic and Marvel, suggestive, takes place mostly during Civil War, Reader IS BLACK CODED! uncanon events for Civil war, lots of dialogue bc I like talking! Not proofread!

The last time he had felt her touch was November of 1943, where he was kept hostage in the Hydra facility. Back then he thought it was a hallucination, that all the torment and experimenting had really caused him to lose himself. The warmth of her hands touching his face whispering his name frantically her worried eyes looking over him, it had felt so real, and if you were to tell him at the time it was. that she was there to break him out before Steve had arrived he wouldn’t have believed it not one bit.

Then when he had fallen from that train, when everything went black he heard her voice. ‘James open your eyes..’

‘my love, I need you to open your eyes..’ the angelic soft echo of her voice stirring him awake. The pain sharp all through out his body and his heart bead rang through his ears as he was dragged away by Hydra soldiers.

That was only the beginning. Her voice and images of her would appear in his subconscious. But she looked different. Her hair wasn't short and pressed in a 40s fashion, but long, very long, and curly, and her clothing ethereal. He would slowly find out more, like that she was actually with him, taking home in his subconscious that even through being controlled, she was there.

It took time for him to come to terms that she was not quite human, but a goddess. Not just because she was beautiful but because she was capable of magics, he only knew what she was capable of through what she had told him. But the fact she could be in his conscious with him was fascinating enough.

He became greatful that she was there, not only did she spend time on his head but as time went on she was able to create life live visions that only he could see. She was like a ghost that hovered and did as she pleased, she wasn't able to come in contact with others around them.

As the Winter Soldier, he still knew who she was in a way, yes he didn't feel the same towards her, under control he found her irritating like an annoying fly that buzzed in his ears. Yet she knew what her presents meant to him, she kept him somewhat sane. Seventy years, Seventy years they had been together. Seventy years of her standing by his side through it all, comforting and understanding to him. Then one day everything went black. After he fell into the water everything went black for her.

She has lost connection with him, her eyes oppening for the first time in decades. Her body under dirt and snow in the German mountains, her joints popping and she slowly got up from her laying position. She hadn't been in her physical body for god knows how long, she didn't become weaker but her body hadn't moved in years. As much as she wanted to rush to follow and him and he with him again she had to take care of herself first.

Bucky felt like he was slowly losing his grip on reality as the days turned into weeks without any sign of her. The hollow ache in his chest deepened with each passing moment, his mind racing with chaotic thoughts. She had vanished from his life, leaving only shadows of despair in her wake. The worst haunted him: was she be safe? Did she suffer? Night after relentless night, he tossed and turned in an empty bed that felt colder than ever, the silence amplifying his fears.

Months slipped by without her reassuring voice, and the once-comforting embrace of sleep became a tormenting void filled with nightmares shed pull him from. Bucky’s mental health deteriorated, unraveling more than he ever thought possible. The weight of his worries pressed heavily on his shoulders, and he could feel the tension gnawing at him in an overwhelming sense of dread.

Every moment without her was a reminder of his loneliness. He was on the run, burdened not just by his past but by the ghost of the love he cherished and feared he might never see again. His once-stable world was now a torrent of chaos—his strength drained, his spiritfalling —coming to tearms that he'd never see her again.

After being run out of his place and held in custody, he was put back under control. A short rampage later he had woken up in a warehouse, his metal arm being held in a machine. Steve along with another man was questioning him till herd her voice, and it was clear that he wasn't the only one to hear it. Steve and Sam turning their bodies quickly twords the voice.

Bucky watched as her body emerged from the shadows, her long curly hair falling over her dark features slightly as she peeked around the corner. Bucky picked his head up stunned not believing his eyes,Fully coming out with a quick motion the two men on defence in front of bucky where pinned against the wall with knifes to the throats.

The smile on her face as she rushed towards him, her hands cradling his face carefully. She watched his expression, his mouth wanting to speak but his body fought against it. His right hand came up to her waist grabbing her “Oh my god..” his voice broke.

She grinned “Hi my love, thought I would find you else where free perhaps yet here you are caged underneath this thing.” she spoke.

Bucky shook his head lightly it soon falling into her stomach, her arms wrapping around him as he pulled her closer her his free arm. After a moment his other became lose without a second thought he wrapped both arms around her. She could feel his silent cries against her, her head dipping down placing gentle kisses to his head. This was the first time he had felt her warmth in over 50 years and he had actually felt her in general.

“What has you in distress baby?” she hummed, “I was only gone for a moment..”

He shoot his head “I thought I'd never see you again,” he muttered.

“Sorry it took me so long, had to recover my body…”

“Hate to break this up but can you tell your girlfriend to PUT US DOWN!”

Y/ns head snapped over to the man “oops!” with that they fell to the ground.

Bucky stood up catching her gaze “Theyre good they're friends…” he muttered.

She nodded her head her hand not leaving his forearm. “Is she-”

“No she's not with hydra,” Bucky interrupted quickly. Steve only nodded his head his eyes catching hers.

“Who are you? Because you're definitely not— well normal.” Steve spoke rubbing his neck.

She shifted her body now standing directly in front of bucky her body leaning back into him. “(name), I'm not exactly from here. I'm Asgardian-” she spoke vaguely.

“So you're a God? Do you know Thor?” Stever asked, he watched her face scrunch at the mention of Thor.

“I am Goddess of Versatility, and unfortunately I do…”

“Versatility?” Sam asked.

“Capable of almost anything I put my mind to, I can adjust and adapt to many different powers.” she shrugged explaining simply.

“Versatility is kinda boring..” same muttered.

“Sounds boring its not, I was able to hibernate my body for over 50 years in the German mountains, and live in his subconscious.” she smiled.

The two men looked at her dumbfounded. “Im a god, not only that but a kings favorite.”

“You must be the sister Thor mentions.” Steve said.

“Only sister he has so yeah, I'm the oldest” she shrugged

“Really you don't-.” Sam started.

“Diffrent mothers, don't care to explain more.” she interrupted her tone becoming sharp.

The two men nodded “So whats the plan from here?”

Bucky raised a brow “What you're obviously on the run I mean we're hiding in a warehouse… and I'm quite capable of helping.” she spoke Turing towards him.

Through a bit of useless protest from James there, she was fighting with them, doing pushback and sticking close to Bucky's side. This was the first time he'd seen her use her power, it was kinda humoring her fucking with them may it have been kind of games or using their power against them. A pretty smile on her features as she defended against the others. Her little conversation with Peter the teen nodding to her his voice almost excited even tho she had him any the collar, her nodding at him and telling him goodnight before blowing in his face. Peters's body falling limp as he giggled putting him down carefully.

“He seemed a bit too excited to be here.” she laughed walking over the Sam and James wrapped in a web lying on the floor.

T’challa wasn't light on his punches when it came to Bucky. One solid hit had pushed him back before he could get up the panther was already charging twords him, with a quick motion he was slammed in the the truck next to him.

“Go!” She yelled.

His eyes narrowest shaking his head “Ill find you! I aways so now go.” She reassured. He groaned irritated, upset that she wouldn't be with him, again.

Hours later He had found out that everyone was arrested. Meaning that she must have been aswell, Steve watched Bucky his eyes curious and sympathetic to his friend. “She’ll be fine well get her out after, I promise.”

He shook his head “Shes never been imprisoned and from what you told me She wont be able to use her powers to an extent and if she dose shell be hurt.” he spoke sodtly, she was probably losing her shit if there was one thing James knew about her is that she can easily be triggered and aggression is how she showed frustration and panic in some situations. Restricting her power and hurting her when did brought back unpleasant memories ones you don't ever wanna relive.

She was Practically bouncing off the walls wrapped up like Wanda, she didn't quite understand how they were restricting her powers, and when she got a spark she was heavily electrocuted. Sam and Clint were in the cells next to her telling her she had to stop, all she was doing was hurting herself. Her mind racing as her face fell into her lap as she sat on her knees. She needed to get out, she needed to find James, they were going to to kill him. She needed to get out, she needed to help him.

A groggy cry came from her as she mistakenlytries getting out of these binds again, “They're made like that for a reason, you're not supposed to keep going.” a male voice rang through her ears.

She knew that voice “The humans didn't take it kindly to Loki destroying New York, helped them be able to block power like ours.”

She sat up slowly, a heavy frown on her face as she mad eye contact with her Brother, the silent tension between them thick. “You know Sister after all this time I didn't expect you here..” she could hear the disappointment in his voice.

“Why are you here?” she asked her voice tired.

“Take you home, so you're not rotting in this cell.” he spoke.

She shook her head “I can't go back..” she whispered.

“Of Course you can, Father would be pleased to see you..”

“What of mother-”

“She gone.” he answerd quickly, his brows frowned.

She stayed silent “You must come with me, I beg of you.” he spoke.

“I left for a reason Brother…” she spoke softly, “you got 30 seconds Thor!” Toneys voice spoke up.

“I wont take you home, but I can use it as an excuse to leave with you. I heard about you're little flame, that's why you wont go back right?” he spoke quickly

Dumbfounded she nodded “yeah.. But the gate-”

“Thes dumb mortals wont think twice when I fly off with you in these.” he spoke showing so Asgardian cuffs.

“Do you want to go or not.”

She nodded.

She might have left with Thor but found a safe enough place to land, taking her cuffs of and wishing her well “Rember you're always welcome back home, even if it mean you bring him. Consider it sister.” he spoke smiling to her.

“Thank you Brother tell Loki I say hello,” she spoke, “I missed you I hope to see you a bit more.”

He chuckled, “ I have a feeling well be seeing each other again sometime soon my dear sister, just don't get in to much trouble can only do so much here.”

It didn't take her long to track them down, but she was far behind. Her body teleporting a bit away from the compound entrance she saw T’chlla him standing next to a body. She could feel her hear drop as she rushed towards them, getting closer she had let out a sigh of relief.

“He down there,” T’challa spoke his gaze meeting hers. “Couldnt guarantee you that's he's alive, he said something about turning them on each other. Go down with caution.” he finished.

Without a moment's hesitation, she sprinted toward the door, her heart racing as she maneuvered through the maze of the unfamiliar surroundings. The air was thick with chaos, the sharp sounds of shattering glass and frantic shouts echoing around her, propelling her forward. As she rounded the corner, a wild scene unfolded before her eyes: Steve was grappling with Tony, their bodies a tangle of energy and aggression, while the sight of Bucky sprawled on the ground sent a shock through her. Her gaze darted between the two skirmishing men and the still figure of her friend, the urgency of the moment electrifying her senses.

“James!” she shouted, “Bucky, baby, hey open your eyes,” she spoke panicked, his metal arm was shot off leaving a nub of wires.

She shook him a bit before her hands fell ti his face, her hands glowing a soft white as she focused on him. The sound of the two men next to her fighting became dull as she healed him, she watched closely as his eyes shifted under his lids “Common baby come back to me..” she whispered.

She felt a hand on her shoulder “Stop he's there he's just unconscious, back off!” she shouted glancing over her shoulder to Steve who did exactly as she said. Her brows frowned seeing him as he was.

“Im sorry… Ill help you next,” she apologize.

“What about him?” she asked glancing towards Tony.

“If you can then please.” he groaned his back falling against the concrete wall.

She hummed shifting her gaze back to Bucky, his eyes open just looking over her. “Well hi handsome,”

“Hi doll, when did you-”

“Dont worry about it baby, lets just focus on getting out if here once I get them up and going..”

She took the time she needed to heal Steve enough so he could get up, with Tony was a bit more difficult due to everything that had just happened. He wanted nothing from her but she kept insisting, his communications were down and its be a bit till someone could even get it to him. Eventually, he let her, making a few comments about her being Thor's sister. “Well marital afairs happen everywhere. Not every marriage even by law and arrangement can be happy, plus my fathers just an asshole.” she chuckled.

“Take it mommy issues.” Tony sassed.

“And you have Daddy issues, we all have problems Stark, but our parental issues are much more different.” she scoffed, her tone and choice of words telling him that here was more a physically issue than emotional.

“T’challa said there will be someone here for you soon.” She spoke he hands falling into her lap.

Tony shook his head “Id like you a lot more if I knew you weren’t aware of what he did.”

She sighed glancing over to Steve and Bucky, his eyes trained on her. “He couldn't control what he did, but one thing I do know is that every person haunts him, he'll always remember, their screams and begging for their life. That right there is worse than death.” she muttered fidgeting with her fingers.

“But nobody here is clean of blood, you've killed someone's parents, someone's child. You Avengers aren't as clean of blood as you make yourselves out to be.” She spoke standing up, walking over to Bucky and Steve.

she watched as he was about to say something, “But that's wasn't you're fault right? You couldn't control it.” she finished, her eyes moving from him to Bucky.

“Get home safe Mr. Stark, and I wish your recovery to be quick.” she said leaving the the two men.

Days had drifted by in a haze since everything had changed. T’Challa had generously offered them both refuge in his kingdom, providing a safe haven as they navigated the complex process of liberating Bucky from the haunting grip of the Winter Soldier. For now, Bucky was equipped with a straightforward replacement arm—nothing overly elaborate, but functional enough for everyday use. T’Challa appreciated having them close; keeping Bucky and her in Wakanda allowed him to ensure they were not only safe, but secure as Bucky was still considered an unfriendly to the world.

Bucky found solace in this arrangement, welcoming the chance to remain in Wakanda, especially since it meant being alongside her. The two had settled into an expansive shared suite, a space that resembled a charming studio apartment. Sunlight streamed through large, intricately carved windows, illuminating the warm, rich tones of the wooden furniture and the traditional African textiles that adorned the walls. The atmosphere was cozy, offering a perfect blend of comfort and privacy, allowing them to retreat from the world outside while they explored their evolving relationship and faced the battles lingering in Bucky’s mind.

As James underwent various tests in the lab alongside Shuri and the team of scientists, she found herself wandering through the magnificent halls of Wakanda, accompanied by T’Challa. He proudly showed her the intricate details of his home, from the stunning vibranium architecture to the lush greenery that surrounded the palace. T’Challa reassured her of their warm welcome in his kingdom, though he acknowledged that not everyone shared the same level of trust towards her and Bucky—something that would likely change with time as they proved their loyalty. He knew she was of royalty herself much different from him, but she would become useful giving bits of insight and knowledge to the new king. “Sure you're not a queen yourself?” he'd joke.

“Many in my Relm would say it is my birth right, but I am only a woman that's what the men of my father's court would use as an excuse.” she hummed, her world was much different from their gender roles were very much still a thing, and she had run away.

Reflecting on their journey, it became clear that her presence had expedited Bucky's recovery; she was the catalyst behind him receiving a state-of-the-art replacement arm sooner than anyone had anticipated. In the quiet moments, she often found solace on the balcony of their shared room, watching the vibrant sunset over the horizon. It illuminated the sky in shades of orange and pink, and she relished the calm that accompanied her newfound sense of reassurance. Unlike before, when anxiety would push her to constantly linger at Bucky's side, she now felt a profound sense of certainty: he was not going anywhere, and neither was she. This realization brought her a comforting peace, wrapped in the warmth of their shared commitment.

The sound of the heavy door opening and closing caused her to look over her shoulder, her eyes meeting his. Pushing up out of her seat her bare feet touching the cold floor as she rushed over to him, a smile on her face. A common routine in their night, not always many words were exchanged but that was okay. Her hands held his face picking it up to look at her. Bucky was on the edge of the bed as she stood between his legs his hand on the back of her upper thighs, he'd always liked how she favored gowns short or long, the Asgardian fabrics much more luxurious than any here. He took every chance he got to feel her, to let his hands linger on her body feeling, memorizing every curve of her body as she simply stood in front of him and talked. Every chance to kiss her and her dark complexion, his lips kissing over her stretch marksand whatever most would consider an imperfection, but to him everything about her was perfect.

After years of never being able to feel her, how could he not? He worshiped her and the ground she walked on, he yearned to feel her warmth for decades to actually get to heel her skin to skin and not just the cold emptiness of his conscious. Yet there would be times he was so afraid to touch her, scared that she would just vanish like she did as time when he would reach out to her. The feeling of her hands not cold or light when she would touch him, her body coming from behind him her head resting on his shoulder blade as she would comfort him after being woken form a nightmare. Her whispering softly urging him back to lay with her and fall back asleep. Assuring him that he won't hurt her, that he could hold her as the sleep or that she could even hold him. His heart heavy as she would speak gently to him as he laid on her chest, her hands warm as her fingers grazed lightly over his face bushing his hair back.

“Please don't ever leave..” he muttered softly his head shifting to look at her.

“I'm not going anywhere, my love. Now you must sleep, and with how strong your embrace is let's hope I don't have to pee.” she smiled, her eyes holding his. “I no desire to be anywhere without you,” she spoke watching him sit up a bit.

“Wherever you go, I go,” she whispered before her lips met his.

She might have had a few thousand years on him, and thousands more to live, but she would die with him no matter what. She wasn't just bored to adjust and adapt but born to create and destroy, she was much more than a stupid powerful, and unpredictable god and even he knew that but she wasn't invincible either she could do many things nobody could but there was plenty that she couldn't. When she would heal and even bring someone back from the dead she gives up parts of her life span, even with that she would have thousands of years without him.

His fingers messed with her messy curls as she laid on his chest, his eyes catching small strands of silver in her dark hair. “Graying before me?” he muttered teasingly.

She sat up quicky at his comment “what?”

“You have a really small batch, like four gray hairs.” he spoke touching her hair line above her eyebrow.

She stood up from the bed, her body bare as she rushed to a tall mirror on the wall, Bucky watched amusingly as she looked through her hair in a panic like state. He watched as she smiled a bit her body turning to face him “Didnttink id ever see a women happy to see that she had gray hair he chuckled.

She rushed back over to the bed, “Do you know what this means.” she spoke her excited tone in a whisper as she crawled over to him.

Her body sitting atop of him she leaned down here face close to his “ My healing and bring you back has caught up with me!”

He raised a brow “I'm aging quicker. Its a good thing believe it or not.”

He didn't quite understand how losing parts of her life span was exciting but at the same time he did. He knew that he had no desire to live for thousands of years after him, she wanted nothing more than to age like a human but she was not born a human. He knew in the end they would find each other again, may it be in another lifetime, or even after death. What they both understood was that they would die along with the other. Their life had begun to have no meaning with out each other, two damaged souls who found each other, and never left each other.

The gods will forever determine her end and the way she shall reast, but one thing was sure if she was taken sooner or had to live without him, to gods would keep him safe for her. Keep him so that she would be able to rest easy with him in the end of it all.

For maybe he'll someday only be within her subconscious and dreams.

a/n: i know a descent amount of people enjoy reading my stuff but i’m curious on what i could do to improve my writing i feel like i can’t really write with a lot of dialogue. Or my stories are kind everywhere… anywho lmk! i love to hear feedback 💗

[melanchoire]

roommate sakura who is dating some guy and reader is jealous of that bc she has a crush on her, but one night while both girls watch a movie and some erotic scene happens kkura reveals she has never had an actual orgasm so reader help her with that

(i barely see stuff with kkura and she is my bias so plsss)

cw: cunnilingus.

having a crush on your roommate at the same time she has a boyfriend is not a situation you should be proud of going through! sakura occasionally inviting her boyfriend to the dorms, sometimes letting you know in advance if you want to leave so you don't feel uncomfortable being in his presence, but other times you arrive at the dorms tired after a long day of hard work and exhausting classes and you’re surprised to find that sakura apparently forgot to mention that he would be there, immediately putting you in a bad mood

once in a while this has led you to argue with her because the bedroom is yours and yet she doesn’t seem to give a shit because she keeps shamelessly inviting her boyfriend without consulting you or even letting you know beforehand… she even goes so far as to excuse herself by saying that you shouldn’t get angry about it because they’re both in their room and it shouldn’t bother you at all, when they spend a lot of time in the living room and you are forced to spend hours and hours locked in your room…

one night sakura invites you to a movie night, at first you deny it because you think she's inviting her boyfriend over tonight and doesn’t want you to spend another saturday night locked in your room, but no! she doesn’t plan to invite her boyfriend because he is a bit busy with the exam table and needs a few days alone to study, so she wants to spend quality time with her roommate because it’s been a long time since you two had a moment alone

omg the hot scene from the movie 😭 both you and sakura remain motionless in your places because neither of you knows what to say or do to break the silence of the awkward moment, similar to when you’re a kid and you’re watching a fun movie with your parents but there is that typical scene of two characters fucking in the dirtiest and most depraved way possible...

and sakura thinks it’s a good idea to tell you that she never had a real orgasm to break the silence between you two?? she does this because the woman's moans on screen were somewhat forced and even the acting was uncomfortable to watch, which made her laugh a little and she thought it was a good idea to share a funny fact with you

“i’d like to know what it feels like.” she was basically implying that she wanted you to fuck her

and so it was 🥰 the film is completely forgotten the moment you get off the couch to kneel in front of sakura and place your hands on her knees to open her legs… she would act like she was shocked by your daring action if it weren’t for the fact that she was literally begging you to eat her out when she said she wanted to know what it felt like to have an orgasm, even daring to give you a look that was seducing you…

ohhh sakura practically fucking your mouth the moment you start fucking her hole with your tongue, holding a grip on your hair to push you further against her pussy and simultaneously moving her hips against your face to almost make you choke on her pussy 😵‍💫 letting out the most beautiful sounds when you decide to replace your tongue with your fingers and bring your mouth to her clit, closing your lips around the sensitive bud and sucking it teasingly

you would be lying if you said you didn’t want this when every time she invited her boyfriend over for the night at a certain point in the early morning you could hear them fucking, thinking you were asleep and they could finally have a nice couple moment, when all you could imagine was that you were in his place

the moment you feel her hips stutter against your mouth and you look up to find sakura’s eyes rolling to the back of her head in such an attractive way that almost makes you cum untouched…

although sakura smiles completely after having an intense orgasm 😭 she feels so happy and proud to finally be able to understand what it feels like to cum so intensely and feel so good at the same time aaahhhggg

but obviously she has to return the favor 🤗 you know it the moment she gives you that look accompanied by a smirk, indicating that you should join her again on the couch

[curtsycream]

hiiiii

i saw your requests are open

Can you do poly price x reader x simon where they all get into an argument (Reader is lonely while they're deployed, she's not getting on their case, just expressing it) and the boys get really defensive and take it a little too far, resulting in reader staying in the guest bedroom for the night bc she doesn't wanna cry in bed next to them. The boys come to their senses and realize they fucked up and there's make up sex? Lots of reassurance and whispers of how much they love you?

Feel free to ignore, just figured I'd pop in :)

Could You Understand?

John Price x F!Reader x Simon Riley

My first COD request I hope I did right. I’m still getting down their personalities and such in writing but it’s a fun challenge. Kinda base level smut. Ps. Would never ignore ❤️

warning: mentions of anxiety (described?), light stomach bulging (I mention it twice I have a problem), double penetration, not proofread at all

Confrontation was never a strong point for her, the idea of accidentally starting a conflict made her cautious with her words. Nibbling at her lower lip she adds the final dish to the washer before closing it. Turning it on she leans against the counter with folded arms. Many times has this feeling of loneliness crossed her mind. Whenever they were gone it was a constant reminder of the fear she felt. She always found herself holding back the words. But it was as if a dam finally broke and she couldn’t help but let them spill.

Making her way into the living room she wraps her arms around herself. It was a first defense similar to showing a dog that you’re not a threat. Her eyes fall onto the two men she loved with all of her being. They sat together with the television on but it was clear they weren’t entirely focused on it. They spoke in rushed tones as if forgetting the rule of leaving work at work. It wasn’t much but it was enough to ensure they wouldn’t dwell on work-related stuff.

Clearing her throat she realized just how hard it was to speak up. It was an odd feeling as she usually found herself talking without much of an issue. When they turned to look at her the words felt stuck, unable to claw their way out of her throat. “We need to talk,” she finally uttered. The words felt hard and cold when she said them.

John was the first to speak though the way his eyebrows creased seemed to verify his confusion. “About what, sweetheart?”

The gruffness of his voice was enough to make her hold the subject off. To instead crawl into his lap and give him a kiss or two. But she knew that wouldn’t solve anything let alone reassure her.

Simon on the other hand said nothing but his eyes were focused on her. And that was enough, it was always the simple things with him. His attention was always undivided, “well..I’ve been thinking a lot while you were both deployed. I just feel alone, you know? It terrifies me knowing you’re both out there and not knowing if that’s the mission that will end with me living my life without you. I—I’ve spent so many nights worried about how or if you’ll make it back to me. Maybe I’m just thinking too much on this but I can’t help but think that way. It’s like my brain won’t allow me to think positively. Like there’s this sense of impending doom when nothing bad is really happening,” she explained.

It was silent for a moment that is until Simon scoffed, the sound seemed to echo in her mind. “And you think it’s any easier on our end having to leave you here? It’s not a friendly thought knowing we’re miles away while you’re here by yourself,” his tone was defensive. It was as if he assumed her words were to evoke a change or start an argument.

“I’m not denying that Simon, I just get so worried that-”

“We understand that you get worried sweetheart, but we can’t change our profession. We spend just as many nights worrying about whether we’ll make it back or not. We have to live through that not you,” John spoke up.

Whether he meant to or not his words seemed to cut her deeper. It was as if her attempt at getting through to them was blocked off by their defense. “I know I don’t have to live through that, but it still worries me when you leave this house. I feel so helpless for lack of a better word when I know you’re miles away and I can’t help.”

Simon shook his head, “how would you even help? You can’t help, you can barely help yourself.”

His words were sharp like that of a knife willingly piercing her heart. Maybe that’s why it hurts more hearing words like that from someone you love.

“I’m not trying to argue with either of you, I wanted to get my point across,” she said simply.

“Then why even bring this up, you always dance around what you’re feeling. We’re not mind readers, there is only so much we can do when you won’t even say what you feel. It’s exhausting,” The words left John's mouth without much of a thought.

Opening her mouth she closes it, her eyes flashing with hurt from their words. “I know you’re both probably just tired from your mission and that’s why you’re acting like this. Just forget I said anything,” she tells them.

She had walked away quicker than she meant to not wanting to say another word to them. She knew deep down if she had she would have started crying.

Placing her hands on her chest she holds back the tears that are brimming in her eyes. She holds off until she makes it into their guest room upstairs. The second she closes the door she lets out a low sob. Sitting down on the bed she wraps her arms back around herself. It was a horrible feeling as if she’d been yelled at. Having people you love downplay your emotions when you finally speak upon them.

Lying down on the bed she curls up her arms still wrapped around her. It was as if she was protecting herself from what was already done. Sobs racking her body as she found no use in calming down.

It wasn’t until they made their way upstairs later into the night that they realized. Simon assumed she would be in bed, their bed. Yet the absence of her presence in the room was like a punch to the gut. His eyes found John’s in the darkness as they stood in the space.

They didn’t have to think before they made their way towards the guest room. The door ajar allowing John to slowly push it open. There she was in the middle of the guest bed curled up. She looked smaller than she should have as if closing in on herself.

John to a step forward which turned into a few then a few more before he was sitting on the bed beside her. His hand cupping her cheek, wet with tears, “Sweetheart..” The utterances of the pet name seemed to work as her eyes opened slowly. Groggy from crying so much as well as sleep she stared at him. It was easy to tell that was what she was doing in the darkness. The tears not yet split made that easy to notice.

With crossed arms, Simon makes his way over to him, “We shouldn’t have—I should have said those things to you.”

She seemed to perk up, it was a first for Simon to say something like that. Not that she expected him to do so often but it was refreshing. “It’s fi-“

“It’s not fine, the things we said to you were uncalled for. You didn’t deserve any of that especially when all you wanted to do was express your feelings. We took our frustration from the mission out on you,” John told her. His thumb caressed her cheek a touch she leaned into without hesitation.

“You do so much for us even when you don’t think you do. Most don’t expect to be greeted at home with a smile and a warm meal. You do everything you can to make sure we’re okay. It’s time we do the same,” Simon says.

Sitting up a bit she looks between the two men with a puzzled look. She didn’t catch on until she had John’s lips on her own. The smell of tobacco and pinewood was strong as she wrapped her arms around his neck. It was comforting yet sensual as she felt Ghost behind her. His lips feverishly trailing kisses along her neck and shoulders.

Her mind seemed to move slower than her actions which was evident when she found herself naked between them. Her hands rested on John’s chest as he lined himself up with her sopping-wet hole. Eager wouldn’t describe what she was feeling especially when he finally thrusted into her. He was always attentive and careful at first, “how’s that feel, sweetheart?”

The words didn’t come but a simple nod followed by a moan was enough for him. Resting his hands on her hips he set a slow and steady pace. One that seemed to draw on the moans leaving her body. “Still so tight for me,” he grunted against her warm skin.

The gentle touch along her spine was enough to remind her of Simon’s presence. The way he was looking down at her caused her to squeeze around John’s cock. A swear left the older man’s lips due to the feeling. Keeping her eyes on Simon she spoke up, “want to feel you both..”

It was new territory something she hadn’t done before. But she wanted to be closer to them in a way soft touches wouldn’t do. “Are you sure, lovie?”

She nodded her head right away at Simon’s words as he seemed to be silently communicating with John. Looking between them she waited for an answer as John continued to thrust in and out of her.

“Okay.”

That was all Simon needed to say before she leaned against John. Her arms were around his neck while her fingers curled around the hair at the base of his neck. Simon held her hip as he pumped himself in his hand before lining himself up with her stuffed hole. It was already a tight fit with John’s cock inside. Willing himself forward he groaned when his cock began to slide inside of her pussy.

Digging her nails into John’s back she muffled her noises on his shoulder. “That’s it sweetheart, such a good girl wanting to take both of us.”

John’s words seemed to calm her down as she felt him pull out some to allow Simon room to fit. She wasn’t fully prepared when she felt both of them inside of her. Neither of them moved, letting her adjust to the new feeling. Resting her hand on her stomach she moved it a bit lower feeling the bulge there. The subtle reminder of just how big John was in girth.

“Oh—please move..” her voice was a gasp barely above a whisper. She had never felt so full before, but oh did it feel perfectly right. Moving his hands up to cup her breasts Simon thrusted into her. At the same time, John pulled out before slamming himself back in.

Groaning from the feeling of John’s cock rubbing against his own as her pussy squeezed them tightly left Simon on edge. “Feels so good,” he breathed the words out.

Her mouth opened letting out a flurry of moans as their paces varied. While John was moving steadily, Simon’s pace was almost erratic. “Fuck—just like that,” she begged no one in particular.

Yet her words seemed to set both men off as they moved in tandem. Their pace seeming to match both went faster pistoning their cocks in and out of her. “So good for us lovie, always so good for us.”

The words of affection caused her to whimper before she felt his lips on hers. The kiss was dragged out and slow only fueled by John’s lips on her throat. The light prickles of his beard on her skin were comforting in a way. “You’re so beautiful, sweetheart. Always so caring and sweet for the both of us,” John’s voice vibrated against her soft skin.

She knew she wouldn’t last long from their affectionate words to their unyielding thrusts. Breaking the kiss between herself and Simon she whines, “So close, please.”

“Please what, lovie?”

The teasing tone he took on made her clench around their cocks. The action caused both men to groan as their cocks rubbed against her gummy walls. “Please let me cum, I’ll be good..”

“You’re always good, sweetheart,” John assured.

“Go ahead, lovie.”

She didn’t need to hear more as her eyes screwed shut. Her mind felt fuzzy as the warmth in her lower stomach began to spread. Gripping John’s shoulders she let out a cry as she came around their cocks with a tremble. However, they didn’t stop not yet at least as they were chasing their highs. To her, it felt like minutes but it only took seconds before they reached their own. Gripping her hips firmly John thrusted his hips up before releasing inside of her. Simon wasn’t too far behind as his cum mixed with that of John’s and hers.

Sighing breathlessly she shifted her eyes to the bulge in her stomach she had forgotten about. She could still see the outline of John’s cock against her lower stomach. But it didn’t last long as she felt both men pull out of her. Leaning back on Simon she watched as John left the room. Her eyes were concentrated on his back before they trailed to Simon.

“Lovie I-“

Shaking her head she leans up her lips pressed against his shoulder. “I’m fine, I guess I just worry a lot when you’re both not here. It’s scary to think something can happen on a mission and I wouldn’t know for a while until the mission ends.”

Simon noticed how shaky her voice was as if the thought of them getting hurt lingered in her mind. Placing his hands on her cheeks he leaned forward until his nose was touching hers. “It is scary, I couldn’t imagine having to stay home and wait for us to return. But I can promise you this, with everything in us we will always try our hardest to get back home to you. That’s how much you mean to us,” his words melted into her mind.

Keeping her eyes focused on his own she nodded her head, “I know you guys will. You always do and I’m grateful for that.”

“And we’re grateful for you,” John chimed in as he walked back into the room. He went straight to her using the towel in his hand to clean her up before pressing a kiss to her stomach. “We will always be grateful for you, I couldn’t picture myself loving anyone else besides the two of you.”

It was comforting to hear words like that from the men she loved. “I love you,” she said her words directed to both men. Pulling her close Simon kisses her forehead as he lays behind her. In front of her was John who also delivered a kiss to her forehead. “I love you too, sweetheart. Don’t be afraid to tell us when you’re worried or scared. We promise to think before we speak,” John’s words reassured her.

The same way that Simon’s touch did as his thumb rubbed her hip. “I love you, now get some sleep it’s almost four in the morning.”

That was all it took before she was closing her eyes allowing the feeling of both men beside her to lull her to sleep. She felt safe and protected between them, no longer as fearful as she was before.

[milkkytxars]

Here's to a small theory I have of the Beast Cookies before Eternal Sugar's update, just in case it ruins it

Tldr: the beast cookies have never felt like real cookies and the ancients didn't fall bc they had a childhood lmao

My main theory on the beast cookies is that they're fundamentally different from every other cookie.

Like- they were made specifically to be holders of the souljams, they were born full grown up gods. You could say maybe they had the witches to look up to but that's still a stretch, the only one who has any actual hints at a relationship with the witches is Shadow Milk.

It's also probable that the composition of their very dough is different from others, to handle the strength required for the power of the soul jams, or just in general so yhey wouldn't crumble as easily even without them. Because otherwise why would the witches need to lock them up? Well, that's either because they wanted to spare them, because they actually loved their first creations and couldn't bring themselges to kill them. Or because their bodies can't be crumbled as easily as other cookies.

I mean, you see Shadow Milk detach his head on a whim, and that's on a body that Dark Enchantress made for him it's not even the original one. Assuming all of them can do stuff like that and it's not only illusory magic, then no wonder they had to be sealed.

Anyway, the main point here is that the beasts were made fundamentally different from other cookies. And not only that, their status as seconds to literal gods made it so other cookies were probably not treating them like...cookies

Think about it right the only depictions we get of how other beings treated the beast cookies was with outmost reverence, and if it wasn't that then it was with hatred because of greed or other things. They were never treated as actual people with feelings, and I think that's the beginning of their downfall.

I think this disconnect with what should've been their own kind is what started it all, because if others would've treated them with actual equal respect as they would other cookies, then the beasts wouldn't have been so disconnected with how cookies think and feel.

You can also see this being true maybe with how Shadow Milk has so many pictures of himself in the form of other cookies, even when the spire was under the illusion of the spire of knowledge. Maybe at first, those shapeshift forms were made so he could connect with others, fully be able to learn what it means to be a cookie and live like one, be treated as one.

In the end, they weren't treated like that, so they ended up playing god the entire time. And what happens when a mortal plays god? It gets to their head, and in most depictions of it, they get divine punishment. Which is what happened to the beasts.

I believe this also connects to why the ancients didn't fall into the same thing as the beasts and are never truly going to, even when they're set on the exact same path as their counterparts.

It's because, one way or another, they are intrinsically different from the beasts simply by the fact that they grew up in the cookie world as normal cookies. They learned humility, and they *earned* their place in their kingdoms and their reputation. They also earned their souljams, for they were not created simply as a means for the things to work or to guide cookies- they *chose* to guide and lead cookies, nobody had to make them do that. You could argue that the souljams did, but White Lily never formed a kingdom like the others, even when it's clear that she could very easily find people to rule over if she put her mind to it.

The most important thing with the ancients is that, even with their duties and feelings, they're free. More specifically, they're free from the expectations of the witches. And even with the expectations of other cookies, it's still not as bad as it was with the beast cookies when they were virtues, simply by the fact that the ancients aren't paragons sent by the gods like they were.

So no, the ancients are never going to end up like the beasts (at least not permanently) (or at least in my theory lol)

[slytherinshua]

CHERRY BOWS

genre. fluff. cheol as a dad. warnings. toddler/parent stuff. cheol gets jelly. pairing. husband!scoups x wife!reader. wc. 1k. request. request by @blue-jisungs: you asked for soft hours n i shall give!! it’s been in my mind for a hot while actually but i’m too busy rn to do it myself… and you’re the perfect person bc U MADE ME THINK IF TJAT 🫵🫵 jealous dad seungcheol :( ofc he loves u n ur kid but give him some attention too smh >:T and requested by anon: i love your svt as dads!! they’re all so cute and i’d like to request one for cheol! a/n. i love love love dad cheol omg :( my second dad fic for him hehe <3 hes so girl dad coded and SOOOOO ADORABLE SKDJKS I LOVE HIM!!!!

“You ate without me…?” Cheol’s sleepy mumble was the first thing you heard from him. He had tiredly trudged downstairs when he had woken up and you weren’t next to him in the bed. It was already a bad start to the day when that happened, and he was frowning and pouting and generally sulking about it by the time he found you.

He wrapped his arms around you from the back, trapping you in the middle of the living room so you couldn’t continue without giving him the attention he needed. You smiled at his clinginess and deep raspy morning voice, but scoffed at how baby-like he was in the morning. Sometimes he acted even more like a child than your actual child. 

Eunha was your now 2 year old daughter. She was adored by everyone and constantly doted on. She could be a handful at times, but only because she had started to take after your bossiness and knew exactly how to appeal to Seungcheol. If she ever wanted something, all she had to do was look at them with those big boba eyes that she got from him, and he’d be folding.

He loved her more than anything. Probably even more than you, but you were okay with it. It warmed your heart how much he cared for his daughter. He’d die for her in a heartbeat without a second of hesitation. You were learning more and more every day the love a father could hold for his children. You had expected this attitude when you married him, of course. Because you knew him and you knew how caring he was. He was so filled with love for people and the world, and you were so lucky to have him.

Starting a family had always been a dream for both of you, and Eunha’s birth had been your biggest blessing. It was challenging to take care of a toddler, but you and Cheol always did your best.

Eunha was happily playing with her toy dolls after eating breakfast— the entire living room spread with her mess. It was always a constant of cleaning her toys in the evening just for her to make a new mess the next day, but you didn’t mind. It was worth it to see her so happy, and though it could be stressful to have a messy space sometimes, her happy giggles made up for it.

“Were you playing dolls with her without me as well?” Cheol asked, the pout he was wearing somehow finding its way into his tone. You giggled and he squeezed you tighter out of jealousy. He didn’t want to admit that he missed your attention being only on him, but it was true. 

You were getting up earlier to feed Eunha and play with her in the morning. The sleepy morning cuddles that Cheol looked forward to every time he fell asleep next to you were becoming rarer and rarer and he felt bitter about the change. It just wasn’t the same with Eunha. It wasn’t worse, it was definitely better in most aspects, but the free time that he had enjoyed before was being sucked away by the little child.

“She wanted me to be the doctor.” You told him, explaining the dynamics of Eunha’s favourite game. She would be the mother to her little baby doll, and either Cheol or you would usually be the doctor.

“The bed was so cold without you…” He murmured, pushing his cheek against your neck. His skin was warm against yours and you leaned into him more, savouring the feeling.

“I’m sorry. You know that Eunha likes to get up early…” You whispered.

“She should’ve woken me up instead of you. Aren’t you tired?” 

“A bit. Eating breakfast with her was nice, though. She insisted on having strawberries with her yogurt since she had seen me eat it like that once.” You smiled. Seungcheol pouted.

“I thought I was her favourite…” He was mostly joking, of course, but slightly hurt. He had always been susceptible to jealousy. Maybe he was a little too greedy— he loved watching you and Eunha spend time together, but he also hated being left out.

Your little moment of warm embrace was interrupted after 2 minutes, a giggly Eunha running up and clinging to her father’s leg. She babbled something about her doll and wanting to get ice cream later today, which you were sure Seungcheol would indulge her in. He spoiled her too much.

You were happy to see your husband’s pout lift up into the sweetest of grins. He picked up Eunha, holding her so that she was resting on his hip. He kept one arm around you; almost if you would run away and leave him if he didn’t. Which was probably partially true since you hadn’t cleaned up from breakfast yet.

“Give daddy a kiss?” Cheol asked Eunha, giggles ensuing amongst both of them. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek cutely and you smiled. Now that Seungcheol was awake as well, the two would be inseparable for the rest of the day— especially since Cheol didn’t have any work to get to.

The morning happily proceeded with a small second breakfast and playtime. Now that your husband was being included in every activity, he was all smiles and giggles. He liked being the centre of attention; you had discovered that fact throughout the years. He was the happiest man in the world when he knew he was making his daughter happy.

Her happiness always came first, even when it relied on Seungcheol’s hair being tied up in pigtails with little cherry-coloured bows because Eunha wanted to play hairdresser. You were almost envious of how cute he looked in them. It was impossible not to love everything that Cheol did.

Along with the bows came matching sweaters with a cherry pattern for father and daughter. One look at the two and you could easily declare them the two cutest human beings in the entire world.

↳ svt taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz,, @yeonjuns-redhair,, @ddeonudepressions,, @hannahsophie0103,, @skz-minchan-enthusiast,, @shuabby1994,, @icyminghao,, @98-0603,, @weird-bookworm,, @edensgardenn,, @wonwooz1,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @cienlvrs,, @amara-mars

[star-girl69]

Your Girl

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader

—-

synopsis: late at night, you and clarisse get to know one another.

a/n: ykw i dont even know what i write anymore just enjoy it i truly just listen to the wind oh my god

Your Girl - Lana Del Rey (Unreleased)

warnings: im sorry im obsessed w the nightmare trope, friends to lovers MEYOW, HURT COMFORT, clarisse just wants to KISS, light tension, very light and fluffy tho…. not a lot of angst tbh, POSSESSIVE CLARISSE I SCREAMED, mutual pining YESSSSS, they’re in love but they don’t think the other could be in love w them, clarisse knows what she wants and sets out to get it, monsters- again it’s a drakon bc i’m evil, mentions of death, swearing, mentions of weapons, weed and smoking, substance abuse idk if it’s addiction my health teacher would be so disappointed, shotgunning weed, idk what’s happening honestly we’re all along for the ride, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

You don’t know where Clarisse gets it from, but she has good weed.

They’re these perfectly little rolled blunts, with some sort of amazing concoction inside- you can’t even be bothered to care that it’s bad for you. Not when it makes you feel so good, not when it makes everything else fade away.

So, that’s why you’re here now. Sitting in the woods, leaning against a rock covered in moss, staring up at the stars. Sometimes you talk, sometimes you’re just here next to each other. But tonight, you think you took one too many hits, so you’re feeling a little sentimental.

“I would fucking die without you, Clarisse.”

She snorts. “Yeah, probably.”

“No, no, not just like- because you’re so strong, and stuff, but because of this fucking weed. I can’t sleep without it, y’know.”

She hums.

“And, like, you need sleep to live, or else your brain will like eat itself, or something ridiculous. Did you know that?”

She looks at you, mouth curved into an unimpressed smile, eyebrows raised. “I didn’t, and I care so much. Thanks for telling me, leech.”

“That’s mean,” you huff.

“Then stop leeching off of me and stealing my weed.”

Clarisse always looks so pretty in the moonlight. You would never admit that to anyone, but in the dark when your head is all hazy- you know she’s pretty. She’s beautiful, if you’re being honest, but she’s also your dealer- you can’t risk upsetting her. But still, sometimes you’re not sure how she isn’t a daughter of Aphrodite.

But you know better than anyone else that she gets everything from Ares, like she’s a carbon copy of him.

She gets her precision, her strength, her tactical mind, her rolling storm of emotions from him.

Except, there’s a softness in her. Only here, in the moonlight. You don’t know if it’s you or the weed, but you like to think it’s you. You like to think that Clarisse likes you as much as you like her, not just tolerates you for your mediocre company.

She’s sitting with one foot planted onto the ground, hair pulled back all messy, her arm balancing on her knee. The joint is held out conveniently towards you, lazily in between her fingers, so you flip yourself onto your stomach and reach out with open lips.

She smiles and flips the joint around, placing it onto your lips. Your close your eyes and your mouth, breathing in deeply. Gods, does it taste horrible, but you love it too much.

You pull back and breathe out the smoke.

“You love me, and my weed-stealing tendencies.”

“Uh, yeah, okay,” she rolls her eyes.

—-

Clarisse probably trains more than any other demigod at camp. Thirty minutes after dinner, like clockwork, you can find her heading to the field where all the sparring dummies live.

Clarisse is probably your only true friend at camp. You stick to yourself for the most part, hang out with your siblings, but besides for that it’s Clarisse. And she’s the same way. She hangs out with her siblings, and then you. Of course- everyone at Camp knows her name and her ruthless reputation.

You’re unknown, she’s known. She’s the best fighter you’ve ever seen, you’re mediocre, compared to her. She helps you at every turn, you’re the one getting helped by her. She’s mean to everyone, and you’re kind to whoever happens upon you.

You force each other to bring out the other sides of yourself no one gets to see. Clarisse gets to be soft, you get to be loud and annoying. You’re friends, but you both get something out of it.

She’s your friend, your dealer, your savior.

If the first day you came to camp, running through the woods with a drakon hot on your heels and your mouth split open into a scream- maybe Clarisse and her siblings wouldn’t have turned around and noticed the drakon.

Of course, Clarisse was the one who actually killed it, and she was the one who hoisted you up from where you had collapsed, breathing heavily. She was the one who actually made sure you weren’t hurt while your satyr protector panicked about having to face the Cloven Council.

She was the one who found you in the middle of the night, that drakon hissing in your ear, she was the one who gave you the claw she had pried from it’s dead body, she was the one who told you it was dead and nothing could hurt you in Camp.

“Clarisse!” you call, running towards her. Most campers like to wind down after dinner, so the field is empty.

“Leech,” she says when you reach her, leaning her spear against a dummy and stretching her arms above her head.

You always come everyday. You ask her the same question.

“Do you have it?”

She digs under her armor, pulling out the small cloth containing the blunt. “You would probably go insane if I didn’t.”

You feel calmer just looking at it. You smile sheepishly up at her.

“You know I can’t sleep without it, Clarisse.”

She looks away, stuffing it back under her armor, against her stomach.

“Maybe you should try and skip one night.”

You scoff. “I don’t feel like pulling an all-nighter, Clarisse.”

She nods, but her face is riddled with concern. “Okay, angel,” she mutters, so low you can barely hear it. But you do. You hear her call you angel, and you turn away instead of slamming your lips into hers.

—-

After that first night, you slept with that claw tight into your hand. And it was fine. You still had the occasional nightmare, but every demigod had those. But the older you got, the more monsters you learned about, the more comfortable you got with being a demigod- the more the nightmares came. Knowing the drakon was dead didn’t help, and the nightmares got worse and worse until Clarisse found you again one night.

You had drifted apart from her. She had her life and you had hers, but ever since you’ve been bonded by the nights.

She wrapped her arms around you and let you cry, mumbling about how she was the strongest demigod at camp, and there was the barrier, and nothing would ever get through to you.

She was soft in that moment. And you could tell she regretted it, because she ignored you for the next few days until one of her siblings pushed you to the ground. She appeared out of nowhere and grabbed his shirt, yelling that if he ever touched you again, she’d fucking kill him.

While he sputtered and asked why she cared about some stupid weak girl, she helped you up and said: “She’s my girl.”

And since that day 3 months ago, you’ve always been her girl. Neither of you really knew what that meant, except you liked being around each other and you liked this transaction. Clarisse liked owning something. You liked belonging to someone.

That’s what this entire friendship is about- convenience.

So, that’s why Clarisse being concerned about you makes you feel weird. You care about Clarisse, she cares about you- but only enough that she doesn’t want to see you hurt by someone else. But who is she to stop you when you’re the one hurting yourself?

You arrive at the rock in the forest, fingers twisting together. Clarisse is already there, lighter and blunt set out on the ground, polishing her spear.

“Hey,” she says, looking down.

“Hi.”

You sit down, eager to get your hands on the weed and forget about the way Clarisse’s concern confuses you.

You stare at your shaking hand.

Gods, are you really that nervous?

Clarisse’s eyes are sharp, she notices everything, she processes it much faster than you can ever dream to. It’s why she’s so quick in battle. She’s a well oiled machine and you’re the one job she’s assigned to do- she knows you by heart after all these nights.

Her spear is pushed off her lap. “Why are you shaking?” she says, voice low and raspy, her hand cupping yours.

“Low blood sugar,” you lie. “I’ll grab a snack before I go to bed.”

She says nothing, but you watch her hesitate as she grabs the blunt and the lighter from the ground, you watch her hesitate again as she goes to light it. But she lights it, she sticks it in between her fingers and holds it out to you.

“C’mere,” she mutters, and you lean forward and let her place the blunt on your parted lips. You breathe in, only for a few seconds, and you could go for a lot longer.

“I wasn’t done,” you huff as she takes her own drag.

“My weed,” she shrugs. “I decide how much you get.”

“You’re a bitch.”

She laughs. She laughs and it makes your stomach twist in such a good way you can’t feel like this anymore, you can’t remember what she does to you, what she called you.

You reach out blindly for the blunt, biting your lip as you practically climb on top of her.

“Clarisse!” you yell, but she seems to find your desperation hilarious, holding the blunt out as far as she can. “I fucking hate you, oh my Gods.”

“Okay, okay, fine,” she says, pushing you off of her. You realize you’re laying on your stomach in between her legs, one hand planted to the ground around her leg, the other reaching out.

She leans back and takes another drag. You roll your eyes and move to attack her, but she’s too fast, sitting up and holding your hand down, her other hand grabbing your chin. She breathes out the smoke right into your lips that are parted in shock, smiling as you stare right into her amused eyes.

She leans back while you sit there stupidly on top of her, blowing out the smoke. “That- that’s- I hate you, did I mention that?”

“You did,” she muses. “But we both know you’re lying.”

You look at her, at her wide smile, at the look in her eyes. You want nothing more than to be her girl- her girl in the way that she’ll kiss your head, tell you about all the things you’ll never do, she’ll lay down with you in a bed of soft pillows. Her girl in the way the reason she’s soft in the moonlight isn’t the weed, it’s because of you. Her girl in the way you can run to her, the way you do now, but with the added connotation of love.

You grab the joint, and she lets you, watching intently as you breathe in and blow out the smoke. She has no right to be worried over you. Not when you’re the one making the choice to waste away your youth. And especially when you’re not her girl- not in the way you want to be.

—-

“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come,” she hums.

You sit back against the rock. Normally, you would have been here 20 minutes ago.

You didn’t catch her after dinner, and you stayed firmly in your bed until it all got to be too much. You’re terrified of sleeping, of the nightmares that will come- but for some reason, the weed just puts you at such ease that you don’t have any nightmares.

You didn’t want to be near Clarisse tonight. Not after yesterday, not after the way she’s been making you feel, and the fact that you know she could never really like you. Why would she? You are the stupid weak girl who gets pushed over. You run from drakon’s and can’t even sleep because of nightmares.

Clarisse is fiercely protective of those she loves, but you’re too much work.

You wanted to go one night. One night without the weed, and prove to her and yourself that you don’t need it. You’re not that weak.

But you couldn’t.

You sit down, she looks at your tense shoulders and doesn’t tease you, just hands you the blunt. You mumble something of a thank you, looking up at the stars, shoulders relaxing after a few more breaths.

“I, uh, I tried to skip. Tonight, I mean. I tried not to come.” It’s embarrassing to admit this. You’re so scared of the nightmares that even if it’s a placebo effect, you come back to this clearing every night.

“But you couldn’t?” she asks.

“I couldn’t,” you affirm, staring at the ground.

“Well, you can’t just go cold turkey, dummy. You have to wean yourself off of it. Do you not remember, like, any of those nicotine patch ads?” she laughs. “You’ve got a good memory, you remember.”

“Shut up, meanie,” you mumble, raising the joint to your lips. She stops you.

“Ah-ah. Starts now. Make it a good one, ‘cause that’s your last, baby.”

“Fine,” you mumble, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach. You breathe in for a long time, tempted to go a little longer, but Clarisse reaches over and pinches your cheek. “Okay!” you yell, throwing the joint back to her.

She laughs and raises it to her own lips, taking in another long drag before putting it out.

You look at her, silent question in the air. She shrugs.

“Been meaning to slow down for a while, why not do it together?”

“Yeah,” you hum, looking back towards the stars. “Oh, hey, Ares is out tonight.” She looks over.

“Yeah,” she muses. “Fuckin’ Ares.”

“It’s still beautiful,” you say, stars in your eyes. “You have to think about it the way mortals do. They don’t know the Gods put them up there- they think it’s just some random spotting of stars, they think they made patterns out of it. Isn’t that beautiful? To make patterns and people out of stars? To look for humanity where there is none?”

“I never thought about it like that,” Clarisse says.

“Aren’t they beautiful?” you ask. You can feel her eyes on you.

“Yeah,” she affirms. “Beautiful.”

—-

The next two weeks goes by the same. You don’t catch Clarisse after dinner, but you come every night, you smoke a little less, she teases you and gets closer to you. She gets bolder and bolder and you get shyer and shyer.

You still feel like too much. If she just lets you prove this to her and to yourself, the maybe you can lean against the rock with her and flirt back.

—-

You meet Clarisse by the rock. She’s still standing, waiting for you. She takes the last of the blunt you’ve been using for the last few days and lights it, taking one small drag before she flips it around and holds it out to you.

“C’mon,” she guides. “Not too much, I’ll stop you.”

You feel kind of like a baby as Clarisse puts the joint on her lips, fingertips against your face to steady her hand. You breathe in for just a second, tempted for more, but she takes it away. You look up at her, fingers twisted together.

“Clarisse, I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

She leaves the blunt to blow out in the wind in the natural dip of the rock, your own little ashtray at the top. Of course, Clarisse will come and collect it the next morning- you don’t want to upset the nymphs and satyrs in the forest.

“It’s a good idea,” she affirms. “Don’t worry, okay?”

You’re scared. You remember being chased by the drakon even now, you remember it’s snarls, you remember it’s claws moving through the air. You remember your heart pumping in your ears, you remember the stones in your stomach that were supposed to be fear.

You feel like Kronos, but what you swallowed wouldn’t just sit idly inside of you- no, your fear would rip through your stomach and your skin and burst out of you in an explosion of blood, like some sick joke of a firework.

She grabs your wrists. Clarisse is soft, here, in the moonlight.

“Hey, it’s okay. I-I was thinking, I didn’t know if you were gonna be okay, but why don’t you sleep in my cabin?”

You shift on your feet. “Clar, no, I can’t ask you to do that. What if we get caught? And I-I- it’s embarrassing, what if your siblings see? What if they tell everyone?”

Clarisse rolls her eyes and tugs you closer from where you had subconsciously started to drift away.

“They already think we’re dating, anyways. Besides, Y/N, no one cares. Most of my siblings have secrets anyways,” she smiles.

“Wh- we’re dating? They think- why?”

Her face is deadpan. “‘Cause you’re my girl.”

You pull back. “Clarisse.”

“What?” she says, slightly incredulous. “You are. You’re about the only person I can tolerate at this camp. I hope you know that. I know I can be horrible, but really, I… care about you a lot.”

You look in her eyes. There’s no lies, no insincerity.

“I know, Clarisse. And I… I appreciate it so much. You’re, like, my only friend,” you smile.

She smiles back but it’s tight. “Friend, yeah.”

You put your arms around her neck and hug her. It’s the first time you’ve ever really hugged her, and her arms wrap tight around your waist. Her mouth presses against your hair. You let yourself be her girl in this moment.

Clarisse is your best friend. She cares about you. Of course she helps you with this. She’s your best friend. Of course you let her.

—-

You do follow Clarisse back to the Ares cabin, back to her bed- and she points to one of her siblings you can’t see in the dark, but there are two figures in the bed. She smiles and you stifle a laugh.

You know better than anyone else that big bad Ares kids are like a marshmallow on the inside. They act all tough, and they are pretty tough, but there’s a soft spot inside of them only unlocked by one person with the right key.

You notice her sibling has their arm around the other person. You wonder if Clarisse will wrap her arm around you like that too.

Clarisse climbs into her bed, opening the covers for you. The beds at Camp are twin sized, but you can fit two people on them if you’re close together. You don’t hesitate, not anymore, not when you have one chance to pretend you’re really hers.

You lay on your side, facing her, hands tucked up by your chest. Her eyes meet yours, she brushes her curls out of her face.

“Good?” she asks. You nod, breathing out.

“‘M fine,” you say.

She rubs your arm, cold from the dark night. “Just relax, okay? Just close your eyes, Y/N.”

You do, you close your eyes, but you’re so fucking terrified you can’t.

“Clarisse,” you breathe, a plead. For what, you don’t know. You want a million things from her in this moment. It’s not fair of you to ask her, you know this, but it doesn’t stop you from asking.

Your breath comes fast, your nails dig into your palms, but you keep your eyes screwed shut like sleep will just magically hit you like a train.

“It’s okay,” Clarisse says, firm. “Why are you so scared?” she whispers.

“They’re so real,” you whisper, your voice breaking.

“They’re not.”

She wraps her arms around you so tight you feel like she’s crushing you. But it keeps you in the moment. If you focus on the way her skin feels against yours, on the way her thumb brushes your shoulder blade, her fingertips scratching the back of your scalp.

If you focus, if you imagine all the thing you and her will never do, if you imagine being her girl, then you can fall asleep.

You dream of her lips pressing against your head, her voice in your ear, calling you her angel.

—-

You wake up, Clarisse still wrapped around you, and slowly detangle yourself. Drool pools at the corner of her lips, and you have to bite back a giggle as you slip out of the blankets and into the warm riding sun.

She looks just as pretty in the sunlight as she does in the moonlight. You feel like a lover slipping out of a bed of secrets. But you’re not. You’re just a friend slipping out of a bed of rumors.

She looks so peaceful, you can’t help but wonder if she always sleeps like this- or if having you next to her had the same effect on her sleep as it did to yours.

—-

There’s a loud knock at your cabin door.

There’s only you and a few of your siblings in here, putting the final touches on their outfits for the day, grabbing the last items they need. One of your younger siblings open the door, and you look around the pillars- maybe it’s a counselor doing some sort of inspection? You take a glance around your bunk- but it’s all clean.

Your eyes meet hers.

“Out,” she says, roughly. She looks at you so intently you almost wonder if she’s talking to you. But when you siblings stand there in shock, she looks away. “Well? I said get out, dummies.”

They exchange looks with you, but eventually shuffle out, not wanting to risk Clarisse and her wrath.

She shuts the door behind your last sibling.

“Being tough has it perks, huh?” she smiles, leaning against the door. Your shirt isn’t even pulled on properly, one of your bra straps is already falling down your shoulder from the act of putting your shirt on, and you’re staring at her with your mouth wide open.

She looks you up and down.

“C-Clarisse, what-?”

She walks over to you, frown etched onto her face.

“I woke up and you weren’t there.”

“Oh,” you say. “I… I thought you would have wanted me gone-”

“Don’t care. If you’re going to sleep with me then you need to wake me up and tell me you’re leaving.”

She rolls her eyes at your confusion. She sits on your bed and then gestures animatedly for you to sit down.

“Did you not sleep well?” she fusses. “What’s up with you this morning?”

“I slept great, Clarisse, it’s just- why are you here?”

“To tell you that you can’t leave,” she deadpans. “I mean, you spend all night shaking in my arms, terrified, and then I wake up and you’re not there? I almost killed someone. You’re lucky I decided to check here first, Y/N.”

She laughs. She laughs like it’s so funny.

“Why?” you ask.

“‘Cause you’re my girl,” she shrugs. “And-”

“Clarisse, what does that mean?”

You know what you want. And you’re not dumb, but you’re the only friend Clarisse really has- what did you have to compare it to? You’ve been thinking about it in your head, rolling it around like a diamond- each side reflects something you want from her. Her love, her protection, her touch, her time, her.

She plays with her fingers. “It means… I like touching you. I like protecting you. I like being near you. I like your voice and your face.”

She stares at you blankly, like she’s recounting a grocery list, waiting for an affirmative “yes, I heard you.” But all you can do is stare in shock, trying to make your brain catch up with your heart- Clarisse likes your face. Clarisse feels the same way you do. You can be her girl, and you’re not too much for her, you’re not just friends.

“Oh, fuck it,” she mumbles. She places her hand on your face and pecks your lips. “That’s what it means, okay? I’m, like, embarrassingly in love with you, if you haven’t noticed.”

Clarisse is so blunt and forward it makes your head spin.

She stares into your eyes, searching them for something other than shock and confusion.

“Okay,” she says. Shuffling back. You can tell she’s hurt and embarrassed, but her face reveals nothing other than faux confidence and indifference. “I’ll go, I guess-”

“Bitch,” you mumble, slamming your lips onto hers.

It feels so overwhelmingly right and fills you with such a calmness that weed could never compare to. If you were dependent on the joints, then one taste and you’re addicted to Clarisse. She kisses you back with just as much ferocity, throwing your arms around her neck, trying to swallow you whole with her mouth as she grabs your neck with one hand, your face with the other.

It’s months of tension and wanting, lips touching through the passing of a joint, all of it coming down to this moment that feels so bad, so sinful- surely the Gods must frown upon loving someone this much. You would never pray to any of them again if it meant Clarisse would keep kissing you like this.

When she finally pulls back, you’re both smiling wide, leaning into her palm, hands playing with the curls at the base of her neck. You feel like a giddy school girl. You feel like a lover discovering something wildly new and unknown, promising to keep it secret, sealing it with a kiss of pure fire.

“That was such a mean way to confess to someone,” you say. “Just bitchy. Brass and blunt- harsh, even.”

“Shut up,” she mumbles, pressing her face against yours.

“Yeah, it’s okay. I know you’re a big softie who drools in her sleep.” She pulls away and glares at you.

“I don’t fucking drool, Y/N. You’re seeing things.”

You fake frown, bringing her closer to you. “Such a horrible thing to say to your girlfriend.”

“My girlfriend?” she breathes, swollen lips parting like she’s aching to kiss you again.

“Your girlfriend,” you affirm, staring straight into her eyes.

You sunk more into becoming a demigod and all it got you was nightmares and a fear of sleeping. But the more you sunk into being her girl, the more you sunk into loving her and being loved.

You don’t know where Clarisse gets her softness from. Certainly not from her father. She didn’t learn to kiss your head from him. She didn’t learn how to hold you, how to call you hers, how to whisper in your ear from Ares.

You don’t know where Clarisse gets her softness from, but it’s good.

—-

SHOUTOUT TO clarisse “cause you’re my girl” la rue LOVE YOUR POSSESSIVE ASS!!!!!!!!

—-

clarisse when y/n smokes weed: oh so pretty……

clarisse when y/n can only fall asleep bc of her arms or her weed: my girl fr……..

clarisse when y/n: oh my wonderful perfect angel

—-

y/n: BITCH

clarisse: YOURE SO HOT FUCK

—-

where did clarisse get her weed from you may ask? me that’s where she got it from i ripped through the fabric of reality to give it to her to make this happen actually and you’re welcome

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish

@sincerely-silk

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

YANDERE EJ HEADCANONS? OLEASE???

- 🪻

Summary: Yandere Eyeless Jack behaviors

Genre: Angst, very very minor fluff mostly made out of a delusional man seeing what he wants to see

Warnings: Yandere stuff. So death, murder, stalking, obsession, torture, forceful love, etc, kind of suggestive stuff but nothing explicit it's just kinda...iffy?? (I mention underwear being stolen once), heaaaavy mentions of non-con

Credits: Eyeless Jack- Creepypasta, Divider- carnage-cathedral, Picture- pinterest

A/n: Yet another ask that's been marinating <//3. But i freaking LOVE doing yandere stuff so yk yah. ALSO I did both if you were a creep in the manor and just a regular person, bc i didn't know which one you wanted (but i liked doing both hehe)

Thank you so much for requesting!!

Yandere Eyeless Jack Headcanons

Pre-info

Jack considers himself to be above things like love or jealousy surrounding a love interest

Being super into psychology, he's very much a "love is just a chemical" guy

Regardless of this, he likes the chemicals you give him

And he doesn't consider it jealousy, he just considers it a fact that you are his and he is yours

It's objective, really. And anyone that decides to mess with that fact has to get checked

Because facts don't care about anyone's feelings, not even yours

Don't go thinking that just because he loves you he'll care what you think you feel towards him

Being in a committed relationship isn't necessary for him at first, he was content just doing things without your knowledge

But as time goes on he feels more and more the need to own you

He needs to make sure that you are his and only his forever, and that no one else can have you in the way he has you

Your consent is favorable in this scenario, but not a necessity

Creep!Reader

Jack isn't a religious man, but if he was he'd thank god every day that you live together

It makes it really easy to fulfill your favorite activities together!

Like him watching you while you're sleeping, stealing some of your things while you're sleeping, sleeping with you while you're sleeping, and making sure other's know you're his while you're sleeping!

Though he is very affectionate with you while you are unconscious, you'd probably think he doesn't even like you in the waking world

He's very isolated, keeps to himself, doesn't talk to you, etc

He finds you not knowing to be absolutely adorable, watching you twiddle your thumbs as he bandages you up for the 3rd time in a week, thinking he's getting annoyed

If only you knew that he actually was the one "misplacing" all those blades in the places you'd hang around, just so he could see you once more

He hopes that maybe you are gaining favor for him after he's fixed you'd up so many times

And being a creep in the manor you actually have a slight advantage over if you were just a normal person

Since you already live together, he feels no need to lock you up somewhere else, because living together is really all he wants

Sure, he'd like to be closer to you at all hours of the day, but he is happy with just living with you

So the worst you have to deal with is stuff like getting hurt all the time so he can fix you up, or getting stuff like the hairs off your shower walls stolen

And also maybe your underwear

Every mission you go on, he is always volunteering to go out with you

Which raises brows since Jack doesn't ever normally go out on missions

But he claims it would be better for him to go with you, since you seem to have a knack for hurting yourself

With him there at least he can fix you up on the go

Digs your trash out of bins and runs his tongues along it

WOAH WHO SAID THAT

Average Person!Reader

Jack's tendencies get a lot....darker if you are an average person

They were already pretty bad, but like he's terrible

Like "woah hey fuck this guy" terrible

Like I've said before, having your consent is a plus, but not necessary for him

At the end of the day, he knows that you two are meant to be together

And even if it takes breaking you bit by bit for you to see that, he is more than willing to do whatever it takes for you to be only his

A lot of his behaviors stay the same as if you were a creep, but because you are so far apart, one major difference is this

Being kidnapped by him is a 100% guarantee

Chances are he'll just keep you in his room at the manor

You'll always be near him that way, and there's nothing that could ever hurt you so long as he keeps you chained to the bed or in the closet

Maybe as time goes on and he trusts you a little more, he'll let you wander around the entirety of his room, but it will be years of consistent good behavior from you before he even considers letting you wander around the manor

The best part about keeping you in the manor is that even if you do manage to escape somehow, it doesn't matter

You will end up back in his grasp one way or another

The other creeps don't care what Jack does with you, and the ones that do don't say anything because he is the best doctor of the manor and they need him

So no one will help you escape there

And even if you manage to escape him and every other creep its not like you can ever tell the police what happened, because that'll land you straight into a mental hospital

And he will just take you straight from there anyways

It takes a little bit for you to accept, but he knew it would

It hurts him to see you so sad, he assumes it's because you haven't been outside in a while and humans need to be outside every now and again

But you did it to yourself. If only you weren't so insistent on trying to get away from him

Don't you understand that everything he does is for you??

He will tell you this as he strokes your hair, smiling at the fact that you no longer aggressively yank your head away from his hand, you just glare at him a little

Someday, you will see it how he does

He will make sure of that

[majoryeager104]

You + Me = three pt 2

Summary: headcannons of Touya as an official dad

warnings: Language, mentions of murder (☝️💀) and Touya needing to be protected at all costs (as usual 😩)

It’s a daughter

And he’s never been more happy

He can’t really explain why he wanted a daughter so bad

But he was beyond ecstatic when he got to hold her for the first time

As said before, if he could cry, he would

He’d definitely be a protective dad

Like besides you NO ONE can hold his little princess 🙅‍♀️

Because “no mf you’ll DROP HER, or she’ll get ANXIOUS, or ILL GET ANXIOUS”

But at the same time

Yk those memes that are like “dad vs mom” and the mom is cuddling the baby, and the dad is like treating it like a ragdoll? Slinging it over his shoulder and stuff?

Yeah that’s him too. 

A year in you walk into the living room

And he’s got your daughter upside down

Walking on her hands 

While he holds her ankles

“She wanted to do a hand stand”

And he’d shrug like it wasn’t an ACTUAL BABY

Like everyone else would treat her irresponsibly but him

And that mindset of his never goes away

Can you imagine when his daughter is a teenager?

Bringing a boy home?

I think the fuck not 😤

He’ll either threaten the kid

Or like actually burn him. 

Like fr

He’s a villain okay

But he’s got his priorities straight at least

Bc the boy was probably gonna try and use her anyways 😤

At least according to Touya

So he deserved it 🧍 

Moving on from child murder

Back to baby hc’s

He’d totally steal naps with the baby when he can

He’s not even tired 

But holding his baby

And having her fall asleep in his arms? 

An elevated experience for him

ESPECIALLY if it means you can catch a break

Buuuuut

Nap time with baby AND you?

He’s in heaven. 

His two favorite people

The two people in the world he would protect at any cost

And he gets to cuddle with them 🥹 

I think on a serious note though

The experience of being a dad 

And raising a kid with you

Definitely made him think about a few things 

Like

Revenge didn’t feel worth it anymore. 

If it meant he’d die in a few months

And leave you two behind?

Nah

Bc having you two 

Was the best thing to happen to him

Because

He didn’t want to die for you

He wanted to live for you

So what was the point in dying in such a terrible way?

So his daughter could grow up without her dad? 

Absolutely not. 

So

Should he have a family with you 

That revenge he’d been working towards would be obsolete 

All that energy that he stored up

For the moment he’d destroy the lives of his father and those who wronged him?

That energy is being put to better use now

Now he’s making time to take his daughter on walks so you can rest

And making her and you pancakes every morning

Every single day 

As his daughter gets older and older, he definitely opens up about the things he’s done 

He’d been in a shell for so long 

Hiding himself from people

That he never wanted to do that again

At least not with you or your daughter

And once again

Another moment where if he could he’d cry?

Is when his daughter smiles

And says she understands

Just like you did all those years ago when he told you 

Because now he had a family

An actual family 

Who loved and understood him

And he’ll be holding onto these moments

That he considers ever so sacred and precious

Till the day he finally drops dead

Ughhhh Dad Touya has my heart I fear 🖐️😭 having a whole redemption arc for the sake of his family bc Enji never did that for him 💔💔💔

Banner Creds to @ Buttonheart 🙌🙌🙌

[redrum-alice]

ABA x Paracelsus HCs that live in my mind rent-free, even though I haven't played the game--

Some of these HCs include other characters involved in their arcade mode.

ABA is no stranger to stalking people. So when she came across a lookout point, she saw many couples, mostly teenagers, making out and going on romantic dates. She wonders what it would feel like to be young and in love, rather than just declaring someone whom she met first glance as a "husband"

ABA's collection of keys were hidden somewhere in the pocket dimension. She sometimes uses them as accessories to adorn herself, despite the like of knowledge in fashion (the girl wears pants as a top--)

There are many shades of blue that ABA can pick from. Since Paracelsus turned himself blue, the shiny surface reflected more colors than just blue, inspiring her to try and appreciate other colors near the blue gradient.

Added to the color stuff, she eventually tries variation of outfits with other colors, but with blue as the base.

Paracelsus knows when she's feeling fatigued. When she's at her limit, he opens the pocket dimension and lets her rest there until she wakes up. ABA sees this as his love language, but unintentional on his part

Both ABA and Paracelsus have no clue on how homonculi biology works, and Paracelsus hates to admit he feels bad that ABA may be at risk of getting herself hurt without him knowing what to do

Paracelsus wishes he knows more about human anatomy because its the closest one to ABA's physiology.

Since ABA is clairvoyant, she often hears the spirits of their victims which she tries to ignore, and probably because she doesnt know the correct response to a wailing dead person wanting justice. When its too much, she asks Paracelsus if what theyre doing was justified and that she begins to regret her rage filled jealousy directed at those that dont even bother them.

Paracelsus keeps telling ABA that she needn't to worry because it was a necessity for the both of them-- something he deeply regrets to say because he knows she has strong principles that she live by despite not being a human

Paracelsus, deep down, is ashamed of himself for tainting ABA for the purpose of tending to his bloodlust. He saw how genuine and pure hearted she is, but it turned into malice because of his demonic origin. He begins to wonder what ABA would be like if she found someone else years ago.

Just like ABA, Paracelsus has an unspoken fear of abandonment, but since he lacks capacity to feel other emotions, he doesnt notice this.

Ever since Elphelt and Testament approached her with good intentions, ABA wanted to make more friends like them, but is scared that others have ill intentions toward her and Paracelsus.

ABA's favorite book would be Alice in Wonderland when she was still in Frasco, specifically the part where Alice was trapped in a room or multiple doors with the smallest door being the exit. ABA admires this because of the concept of escaping, especially that there's a key involved. (Im biased bc my name's Alice and i like this story--)

Besides door keys, she also collects windup key and smaller keys for chests and compartments. She sees this as a symbol for discovering new things, especially music when she came across a music box that needed a key

Speaking of music boxes, she associates this object with Elphelt bc of her musical talent (and that she may as well look like the ballerina spinning on the music box)

Other than doors, music boxes, and compartments, she also came across a small doll that needed a key. After she winds it up, it began walking and talking towards her and freaks her out. But when it said "mama" in a robotic voice, ABA contemplates and wonders if she was ready to become a parent somewhere in the near future when Paracelsus has a body. An impossible thought, but one could never be sure, and it scares her.

Butterfly Pea tea with brown sugar, or sparkling butterfly pea lemonade with honey would probably her favorite drink because of its color. She shares this with her hubby 🥰😋

There comes a time that her bandanges would get uncomfortable and smell bad from blood stains and wounds, so Paracelsus tells her she needs to change them before she gets an infection. He does stop her midway because he realizes she isnt wearing any undergarments and proceeds to take her in the pocket dimension.

Elphelt offers ABA to shop with her to pick clothes suited for her. The first thing she sees at the boutique display was a wedding dress and begins to day dream a wedding with Paracelsus. Without her looking, Elphelt happily buys the wedding dress with matching tuxedo and gives it to ABA, despite Paracelsus' protests (the fact that he hears them chatting about setting up the wedding next day had him ded on the spot :P)

ABA watches home video tapes left in houses unoccupied by their owners (abandoned or they went on vacation; ABA is a home intruder lol). She finds a tape labeled "Happy Day" and it plays a recording of a newly wed couple dancing at their reception. The way the couple moved gracefully tickled an idea in her brain and insisted she and Paracelsus should dance. But since the large key doesnt have any legs, her attempts in waltzing with him went nowhere 😅 (and this gave more reason for ABA to find a body for Paracelsus)

At late nights when ABA is asleep, Paracelsus wonders that if he had a body, would ABA still be shorter or they would be in the same height? Either way, he was impressed that she can keep herself up with that low weight despite her tall stature, more so on how she was able to carry him around without much muscle mass.

When he sleeps beside her, her hair unwittingly falls on his bow and feels how soft it is. A very pleasant feeling he won't admit.

Everyday, Paracelsus keeps reminding ABA that she needed to eat to gather strength. ABA often forgets to eat because its not hard wired in hr system, nor that it was even natural for her to eat in the first place.

[ro4love]

Hii <33e i have a req, how about bllk guys confessing their feelings to reader during an argument? Nothing TOO heated tho :DD i was thinking about bachira, barou,chigiri, kunigami (pre wc cuz hes the sweetest), and gagamaru while ur at it (i understand if its kinda complicated to write for him, u can do or not:3)

Take care!

“Kiss and make up”

When the bllk boys accidentally spilled their feelings during an argument..

Characters: Bachira, Chigiri, Barou, pre!wc Kunigami, Gagamaru

Cw: fluff!, bad writing, ooc!, fem!reader implied

Bachira Meguru —

Light banters usually happen between you both by Bachira doing something silly

“Bachira why is there a sticky note on my back—“ snatches it before you could read it

Cue you’re persistence to get the note from him because you’ve had that note on for HOURS WITHOUT YOU REALIZING…

“Bachi— gimme!” “Nooo you’ll know my biggest secret!” “What the hell are you talking about dumbass!”

“That I have a big crush on you, duh!”

The world stops. Even Bachira stops moving, and he never sits still

“Bach—“ “Oops! I wasn’t supposed to say that yet”

You we’re gonna open your mouth to say something but he bolted out of the room before you could

The note wrote “prettiest girl”

Chigiri Hyoma —

you’re trying to playfully banter with him but he just don’t gaf I’m afraid

“Chigiri… can’t you just play along with me?” “Now you just sound sad”

You slowly resort to physical methods, like biting him. He let’s you albeit with a disappointed sigh

“My bar is seriously in hell..” “well— wait… what does that mean?”

He tensed up. You felt it.

“G-go back to your seat you dumbass!” “What! What did I do?!”

Muehehehe

Barou Shoei —

Silly king doesn’t know how to woo the woman of his dreams, so he often just banters with her. That’s your love language

“You’re a brave one to stand up against a king like me” “sometimes I forget how fucking corny you are” “Why you—“

You get on his nerves by being… uncoordinated. He hates when you leave crumpled up paper on your desk, leave the bits and pieces of your eraser inside your pencil case, and leaving the corners of your pages unfold even though you don’t need to mark that page anymore

“Can’t you be more proper about your tidiness!” “Barou, I’m not messy, you’re just too much of a clean freak!”

He mumbles really risky stuff under his breath and you always miss it, not this time though

“stupid girl, you’re lucky someone like me would want you”

“Huh?!”

You’ll never let him live it down

Kunigami Rensume —

We all know how Kunigami is terrible at accepting compliments

“Your biceps are HUGE Kunigami!” “Hey, don’t just… say stuff like that out in the open”

You’re gushing over his physique and he’s just there sustaining a red face.

You tease him about how bad he is at receiving compliments and he just responds with a big palm in your face.

“You know… you never tell me to get away and never try to move away. It’s like you love it when I compliment you” “Who wouldn’t want their ego stroked by their dream girl…”

It was quiet but it was still easy to make out

It’s your turn to be flustered now, and Kunigami’s enjoying it by his little devious smirk mwuehehe 😈

Gagamaru Gin —

He's unconsciously the biggest sweetheart, so you rarely find yourself arguing with him

but since he's so used to being in the mountains, some daily activities really is just a culture shock to him, so most of the time you're scolding him

"Hey.. stop eating with your hands..." "But the food taste better this way."

To try and prove a point, he's extending his arms towards you to feed you with his bare hands

"hu— Hey, no!" You shoot him a stern look while your ears turn red

He stops and looks at you, goes quiet and after a while just casually blurts "You're so pretty when angry"

"I— GIN STOP TRYING TO FEED ME!"

I hope someone out there likes ts bcs I don’t 💔💔 tysm for requesting!! I’m sorry I took so long 😓😓 had to finish my exams first. hope you likedd

[animalpetcel]

Okay after a few hours to sit on it

Okay I read Gretchen Felker-Martin's Beast World story and it was like...fine lol. Honestly probably the only way to interpret Jason's character in a way that still gives it bite without running into the problem that DC will never let him permanently kill anyone who matters. Idk why some feel so strongly about disliking it?

It, and the fact that Felker-Martin cut her teeth in regular book does make me more optimistic tho. Not like..a whole lot optimistic bc there's a lot of writers who I think are amazing who's Jason stories...are not their finest work...but like having an ongoing heavily featuring Jason that isn't from Lobdell will be so nice for once, so I'm holding out hope for at least that.

I also know that some said that Jason/Helena might be solicit bait but I really feel like given how kinda desperate DC is about Jason being the only "Forever Single" batboy, and that they're probably reluctant to have another robin be LGBT+, that they could be trying to cook something quick. They probably don't want to do previous relationships (so Artemis and Rose are out), viewing them as "failed", but I also feel bad for the Helena fans (esp if this goes poorly), and I dislike that like the worst Nightwing fans are (like with Kory, Roy, Rose, Kyle, Donna, Eddie, Danny....all of them are better associated with a different batboy so it's best to keep it that way) obviously going to use it as a continued permanent mark against him (when really I feel like it would be better to just try to isolate yourself from something like this. Like when I tried to read Nightwing's pre-New52/Rebirth comics and didn't like how he treated his friends, I just stopped reading them and choose to live in blissful ignorance). I know some would go "Oh what about Rena/Isabel" and like....Rena is a deep cut that you would basically have to remake her from scratch (in a climate where civilians support systems and non-previously established civilian love interest are getting phased out/harder to implement in a way that doesn't see them erased) esp given that she wouldn't have seen Jason from since they were kids, and Isabel is tainted by Lobdell. I would prefer Strike/Dana Harlowe but now we're asking comic fans & writers to find a black woman to be both a suitable love interest and character long enough that it becomes cemented and that would be an uphill battle... There could also be a new new women but that still runs into the Rena's problems.

So basically we need good-longterm writing before we fix any of the stuff I just said about the possibility of Jason and love. Which I've been saying for years but alas no one thinks about the logistics of anything they ask for anymore....

I feel like some of the negative, knee-jerk reaction a lot of Batfam stans is that things have gotten so...bad when it comes to Jason...in the terms of a lack of direction (making people more split on what should happen to him) that his current stories just make everyone argue at the slightest hint of failure . And that's before the stories that are just flat out bad (Why does Hush 2 exist? A lesser seen character could have gotten a mini instead of creating a terrible sequel for a terrible storyline about a terrible villain)

Anyways I'm done rambling for now. I have realized that it might take longer then September for us to get a feel on whether his new ongoing might bring new life and a clear, not immediately ignored direction that he's been needing since UTRH, as well as tell us if our worried about Helena are unfounded or not....and September is already so far away.

Fun.

[ninyard]

Hidihi here for Kevin talk bc I always think abt Kevin. This turned out a bit longer than expected but it’s also been incessantly stirring in my mind. So. Here you go

One of the things that honestly endears me the most to him is his optimism/faith in people. It’s not obvious in the way Renee’s is or Jeremy’s, but at the same time it is right there in the text:

He fully believes Andrew can be something if only he would just give in and admit it and he is 100% willing to bring it out of him. the same counts for Neil and honestly also the Foxes although he never tells them directly (he tells others and then he starts critiquing their every move)

He fully believed Wymack would help and take him in despite the fact that he lived with Riko and Jean whose fathers did not give two shits about them AND also lived with Tetsuji (who was supposed to be a kind of father figure besides just his coach) and the other Raven coaches and thus probably had at least some distrust of coaches

Obviously his obsession/appreciation of the Trojans despite living 10 years in the exact opposite environment where such sportsmanship was actively discouraged and ridiculed. And then he also sent Jean, whom Kevin knows is just waiting for his (Kevin’s) death so he (Jean) can follow him, to the Trojans because he trusted they would provide Jean the kindness he needed to start healing (perhaps that seed was started by what he knew of Renee and Jean’s talks? He saw how effective she was on him and thought ‘what about a whole team of that’??)

Hell, even the way he is about Riko shows how much he just believes in people, although I am basing this on extra content stuffs. Basically it says that he did not want Riko to die/wanted to see the Riko post-canon because he wanted to see who Riko could be without all the bad stuff—basically a loop of ‘but what if what if what if’ with a side of ‘I can fix him’ situation though I am very much paraphrasing (possibly to the extent that there could be other interpretations but so far my memory’s served me pretty well. A double check would probably be advised though)

Personally I think it’s the remnants of Kayleigh—I feel like there’s a good reason why it’s called the Kayleigh Day spirits award besides the fact that she’s important to the sport and dead (e.g. why name the spirits award specifically after her? Why not another prize?). He was only with her for a short time, but maybe they were enough to teach him that believing in people was not a worthless pursuit—would in fact foster success. She seems to me the only logical place where he could have picked that up because it definitely wasn’t the Ravens nor his history books as history is not as filled with kind people and acts of kindness getting paid off as one might hope. At least not mainstream history that focuses broadly on politics and military affairs

Maybe part of his conviction comes from his arrogance and confidence: he isn’t likely to doubt himself or quick to admit to being wrong and the fact that he applies this to people the most (at least as far as we see in canon) is honestly so fun to see because it subverts the entire stereotype.

Anyway. he makes me insane

YESYESYES all of this Kevin is so much more than just a two dimensional asshole who only cares about exy and like yeah. that’s a large part of his personality but like.

he truly truly believes in Andrew’s healing. he believes in him and his talent. and is a part of it selfish? because he feels like he can benefit from his talent when he views exy as “his”? maybe!!!!! but i think if he didn’t actually care about him or the other foxes and how they played he wouldn’t be so passionate about it. he SEES their potential!!! and believes they can all be be better!!!

he trusts people and believes in him and still knows that there’s good people in the world and even when he’s only ever been faced with bad people with bad intentions and bad hearts he still believes in the good people out there. he wanted to die but his heart still blindly trusted Wymack (basically a stranger to him at that point)

i think another reason i would truly love to see a session between Kevin and Bee is because we know how much heart he does have beneath all that assholery. maybe it’s not traditional or the way people want to see it but he believes in people, he believes in the good of people, he trusts and he has all these feelings that he still allows himself to have, after all this time, after all the bad things that have happened to him

and don’t even get me STARTED on how much of Kayleigh must be in him.

Kevin is rude, he’s arrogant, and he’s a cunt. and in the same vein he’s so human it’s sickening

[frogl3gs]

Hi. I stopped posting because I realized I was using this as a place to complain a lot and it was creating this sort of negative spiral for myself so I’ve been journaling a lot more. Anyway I need to ruminate and seek reassurance so I’m posting.

Today I was supposed to start a 2 week long vacation - just a stay-cation, maybe a night on the coast by myself, nothing fancy - just super burnt out at work (long, uninteresting story - bad boundaries, a personal problem I love to repeat).

So I’m like 2/3 of the way through my first day where I’ve told myself that I’m on zero time schedules and absolutely not pushing anything. Today I just give into my whims (as long as it doesn’t fuck up my sleep hygiene). So I’m not doing anything like laundry, cleaning, because I know I have time and will have the house to myself and I’m looking forward to the alone time to really be introspective and reset.

Welp. M gets fired today. For whatever fucking reason, idk. It is REALLY hard for me to have pity for him right now. He’s moping around (look- I GET IT) and in the back of my head I’m just like…..idk I don’t want to even type it out because I know it makes me look like a bad person. (I know I’m the villain here)

He just started this job, maybe????? A month ago? And in the transition of his old job to this job, his previous employer let him take his 3 weeks of vacation, plus there was a week before starting this new job. He got 4 weeks off, 3 paid, with another job lined up, no stress and did so much fun stuff. He was able to relax and really close that stress cycle.

I had two days off all of last year because like I said, bad boundaries. And this was the time that CEO and I agreed on I could take (he took 1 week over Xmas and then 10 days in March bc we agreed I could have 2 weeks at the end of May - my parents were supposed to come out but they didn’t). This was part of a trade off and I think totally healthy (from a relationship and work perspective, not a personal perspective), I could have taken time earlier but this is what I chose to do.

I’ve been questioning working at this company - not because of my bad boundaries but because I didn’t know if I was good at it. I have recently received a ton of objective reassurance that I am really good at this from outside third parties but there’s also the data - taking a company from less than half a million to multiple millions in revenue with an above industry average EBITA margin. I was promoted to COO ~9 months ago and was able to turn around a sinking ship. This all with *no prior industry experience.*

This 2 week leave I was going to take the time to just sit in silence and journal or art journal out my feelings and if I think I can really handle this job - do I think I can do the job without sacrificing my wants and needs? Can I be myself and do this job? I have a whole list of questions to respond to that I’ve spent the last 4 months compiling. I cannot do that with a crying man in my space!!!!!!!! Sucking out all of the emotional energy out of the room!!!!!

I have such a hard time connecting with my emotions that I’m seriously considering booking a room at the coast just myself for 2-3 days just to give myself the space. I have the money. I made sure that when we moved into our new space (we bought a house!) that I would set up our accounts and that the math worked so that we could live only on my salary if needed. He had been complaining about his previous job for so long I knew there was going to have to be a change.

And this was the time I set aside for myself to figure my own self and things out. I need the space and I think the lesson is that I need to stop putting it off and just take it and I don’t care if he takes it personally, he can talk about that with his therapist. I need space to figure my shit out and to rest and recover and so I think I just have to grab it and give it to myself because literally no one else is going to give it to me.

Anyway feel free to tell me your thoughts or what you would do. The prices at the coast are astronomical because I forgot about Memorial Day weekend so maybe I’ll find a place in the woods or something.

I might delete this at some point 🙄

[aspd-culture]

sometimes i feel like how i am just makes more sense. how do you think the world would be different if everyone "had aspd" (but in this world, it would just be being normal)?

Hmmmm.... Damn I'm really unmasked right now so this is probably the most honest answer I could give you (based on my opinion of course, none of this is fact and for all intents and purposes this answer is entertainment value only not educational bc who knows if I'll agree with myself once we find wherever that mask is hiding).

First and foremost, society is kind of gone in this case. Or reverted, I guess. That's a major point with ASPD is that we didn't develop the way everyone else did to be a part of society, desire to be around people, fear people disliking us (because in the wild that could mean dy*ng), etc. We still have the understanding of the need to congregate and therefore would likely still have settlements nearby, but I'm guessing everything would be a lot more spread out. I'm sure there are plenty of pwASPD who don't feel this way, but all the pwASPD I know personally hate the concept of neighbors that can perceive them while standing in their own yard or worse their own house. So firstly I think that houses would likely be further away, and that things like trailer parks and apartments would be significantly less common.

I also think that laws surrounding where you can build a house and the safety stuff involved like permits would be more lax - leaning towards a "if you didn't do it right, you'll be the one to have to deal with it" mentality, and in that I think more people would be housed but probably significantly less safely. I don't think this would extend to things like basic building stability and electricity and such, because that would cause issues for more than just the idiot who didn't do their research, but for things like lead paint, proper insulation, and such like that.

In general, probably a lot of things would lean that way - with more overall protections for people because we A.) don't like to hear people complain and will sooner do the right thing to shut them up than continue to allow their whining in a lot of cases and B.) we understand that the entire purpose of humans living near each other is to help and C.) in a world where ASPD was the norm we know that if I (general I) don't help you (general you) when you need it, there will be no empathy or anything making them feel bad if you don't help when *I* need it. Everyone takes what they need and gives what they need and I doubt people would bother to abuse the system because we are smart enough to know that gaming the system is actually screwing all of us over bc now when people need help that isn't there, they will have no qualms about coming to the house of the person who stole all the resources for themself and asking what that person intends to do to fix the problem they made.

See, a lot of the reason that pwASPD who manage to go on to be your high-profile wealthy CEOs do that is because it's easier for them than a prosocial. Stepping on people to get to the top, knowing that those people will likely barely see it as you doing something wrong. They feel for you and they understand you were taught greed and all that, so they're easy to manipulate. Give them a bonus check that doesn't even bother a percentage of your profits every year around the holidays and you're considered a great boss doing better than most. Let them call out every once in a while and only give them a little heat about it and they'll worship you because it's better than most of what's out there.

But other pwASPD see through that, so I don't think hyper-selfish people with ASPD would manage to thrive in this type of "society" the way they do with a majority prosocial one.

I think that we'd also help to establish better things for people with ASPD - more stuff like wreck rooms and such - that allow for the easing of those symptoms without breaking your sh*t or hurting anyone, while also getting rid of laws that are, well, stupid in our eyes and help decrease the annoyance that causes our symptoms to flare in the first place. You're stealing baby formula? Go at it. I don't care. If we notice because you're stealing a bunch of shit then you did a shit job of stealing and then there's probably consequences. Maybe. If the dude on shift feels like dealing with it.

I think only the big things would continue being illegal by any degree, and I think the system would probably be much more collective rather than things like managers, politicians, etc. We're not a fan of people telling us what to do more often than not, so I think all of us having a turn would be the way it would work. I think most everything would go to majority vote.

I honestly wonder if money would even survive in a world entirely set up by pwASPD or if we'd just make all the transactions by association like the old barter system. People say that the reason we can't go back to that in today's world is because we wouldn't be able to decide what services were worth what other services but that kind of removes the point of the barter system in the first place. It's not about the services having a "value" it's literally just about "I need this and you have it, you need that and I have it, let's trade". This is already how we view our relationships - not caring if the give and take is equal as long as we both are walking away cool with it - so it makes sense we'd extend that to a general rule.

In a weird way I just feel like we'd be less connected but more collaborative. No I don't want to have small talk but I do have bread I'm willing to give to someone who can get me antibiotics. And no one would take offense to that because *none* of us want to do the small talk.

Plenty of pwASPD do enjoy friendships and relationships and so I think in those cases, you'd see people who want that finding that and people who don't just not participating.

I don't think everything would change, because to a degree there is some ASPD influence in how things work atm, but it's a prosocial lens on it even for the things that have that influence.

There is also the solid possibility that it could just be anarchy tho :/ It depends because honestly all of this is coming from the place of "us all developing ASPD knowing what the world is like now and what isn't working" but if it wasn't like that who really knows what would happen. (apparently my use of emoji means that sentence has to be in bold on this font)

I refuse to re-read and edit this rn and I won't want to do it later so RIP if this is a mess of a post to read or contradicts itself, etc. But I promise I do care about this blog and the content on it/gen - the reason why I'm being selective about which asks I'm willing to do while in this state - I'm just impaired by the low mood stabilizer levels so I'm honestly worse than just unmasked rn. Like me normally without a mask and without any mood stabilizer at all is more composed and gives more of an f then I do rn but god guys Lamictal withdrawal will kick your *ss. Idk why I'm explaining this like I would to a group of prosocials tho XD I more often get questions on this blog about why I *don't* act like this.

Plain text below the cut:

Hmmmm.... Damn I'm really unmasked right now so this is probably the most honest answer I could give you (based on my opinion of course, none of this is fact and for all intents and purposes this answer is entertainment value only not educational bc who knows if I'll agree with myself once we find wherever that mask is hiding).

First and foremost, society is kind of gone in this case. Or reverted, I guess. That's a major point with ASPD is that we didn't develop the way everyone else did to be a part of society, desire to be around people, fear people disliking us (because in the wild that could mean dy*ng), etc. We still have the understanding of the need to congregate and therefore would likely still have settlements nearby, but I'm guessing everything would be a lot more spread out. I'm sure there are plenty of pwASPD who don't feel this way, but all the pwASPD I know personally hate the concept of neighbors that can perceive them while standing in their own yard or worse their own house. So firstly I think that houses would likely be further away, and that things like trailer parks and apartments would be significantly less common.

I also think that laws surrounding where you can build a house and the safety stuff involved like permits would be more lax - leaning towards a "if you didn't do it right, you'll be the one to have to deal with it" mentality, and in that I think more people would be housed but probably significantly less safely. I don't think this would extend to things like basic building stability and electricity and such, because that would cause issues for more than just the idiot who didn't do their research, but for things like lead paint, proper insulation, and such like that.

In general, probably a lot of things would lean that way - with more overall protections for people because we A.) don't like to hear people complain and will sooner do the right thing to shut them up than continue to allow their whining in a lot of cases and B.) we understand that the entire purpose of humans living near each other is to help and C.) in a world where ASPD was the norm we know that if I (general I) don't help you (general you) when you need it, there will be no empathy or anything making them feel bad if you don't help when *I* need it. Everyone takes what they need and gives what they need and I doubt people would bother to abuse the system because we are smart enough to know that gaming the system is actually screwing all of us over bc now when people need help that isn't there, they will have no qualms about coming to the house of the person who stole all the resources for themself and asking what that person intends to do to fix the problem they made.

See, a lot of the reason that pwASPD who manage to go on to be your high-profile wealthy CEOs do that is because it's easier for them than a prosocial. Stepping on people to get to the top, knowing that those people will likely barely see it as you doing something wrong. They feel for you and they understand you were taught greed and all that, so they're easy to manipulate. Give them a bonus check that doesn't even bother a percentage of your profits every year around the holidays and you're considered a great boss doing better than most. Let them call out every once in a while and only give them a little heat about it and they'll worship you because it's better than most of what's out there.

But other pwASPD see through that, so I don't think hyper-selfish people with ASPD would manage to thrive in this type of "society" the way they do with a majority prosocial one.

I think that we'd also help to establish better things for people with ASPD - more stuff like wreck rooms and such - that allow for the easing of those symptoms without breaking your sh*t or hurting anyone, while also getting rid of laws that are, well, stupid in our eyes and help decrease the annoyance that causes our symptoms to flare in the first place. You're stealing baby formula? Go at it. I don't care. If we notice because you're stealing a bunch of shit then you did a shit job of stealing and then there's probably consequences. Maybe. If the dude on shift feels like dealing with it.

I think only the big things would continue being illegal by any degree, and I think the system would probably be much more collective rather than things like managers, politicians, etc. We're not a fan of people telling us what to do more often than not, so I think all of us having a turn would be the way it would work. I think most everything would go to majority vote.

I honestly wonder if money would even survive in a world entirely set up by pwASPD or if we'd just make all the transactions by association like the old barter system. People say that the reason we can't go back to that in today's world is because we wouldn't be able to decide what services were worth what other services but that kind of removes the point of the barter system in the first place. It's not about the services having a "value" it's literally just about "I need this and you have it, you need that and I have it, let's trade". This is already how we view our relationships - not caring if the give and take is equal as long as we both are walking away cool with it - so it makes sense we'd extend that to a general rule.

In a weird way I just feel like we'd be less connected but more collaborative. No I don't want to have small talk but I do have bread I'm willing to give to someone who can get me antibiotics. And no one would take offense to that because *none* of us want to do the small talk.

Plenty of pwASPD do enjoy friendships and relationships and so I think in those cases, you'd see people who want that finding that and people who don't just not participating.

I don't think everything would change, because to a degree there is some ASPD influence in how things work atm, but it's a prosocial lens on it even for the things that have that influence.

There is also the solid possibility that it could just be anarchy tho :/ It depends because honestly all of this is coming from the place of "us all developing ASPD knowing what the world is like now and what isn't working" but if it wasn't like that who really knows what would happen.

I refuse to re-read and edit this rn and I won't want to do it later so RIP if this is a mess of a post to read or contradicts itself, etc. But I promise I do care about this blog and the content on it/gen - the reason why I'm being selective about which asks I'm willing to do while in this state - I'm just impaired by the low mood stabilizer levels so I'm honestly worse than just unmasked rn. Like me normally without a mask and without any mood stabilizer at all is more composed and gives more of an f then I do rn but god guys Lamictal withdrawal will kick your *ss. Idk why I'm explaining this like I would to a group of prosocials tho XD I more often get questions on this blog about why I *don't* act like this.

[ganondoodle]

(totk rant)

something i dont know if i have ranted about specifically is .... how i hate how little defined the sonau (zonai) magic is

like i get it, its magic, but it feels like it can do anything when the idiot plot demands and cant when it doesnt for no good reason, just like the enigma stones (secret stones)

(its not that each little thing is a problem, i dont need everything single thing explained, but that the whole mess of sonau magic, enigma stone magic and elemental magic feels like .. a mess, and a stupid mess at that! you dont know what is what and what soemthing can and cant do and that leads to a bad kind of confusion, one that makes it feel like there are no rules except when the plot demands it)

(also i will forever refuse to call it sonau 'tech', bc its not, its some vaguely stone textured pieces that do a thing when hit or pieces floating around some vague magic bs, theres no cogs, not maschinery, nothing that makes you feel its got an internal mechanism like the shiekah tech had-- worst part being they had planned sonau bs to be more magic than 'tech' but then, as i previously ranted about, decided to make it 'so players can immedaitely know what it does just by looking at it' and then decided they still needed to explain to you what the obvious fan thing does 5 times over when you already learned it on the literal tutorial ALSO ITS A FAN- WHAT IS THERE TO TEACH ME ABOUT IT- ... wrong post .. anyway)

sonau magic, apparently, can, replace an entire living persons arm that was 'beyond repair', when the person giving their arm IS ALREADY A GHOST (or dead for that matter, yes you can argue its the part of his arm that was left over at that point but .... that also leaves the question how the hell he could suddendly, conventiently, move that arm part independendly to catch link, when it flopped over limply a second ago .. and was also able to .. see? how would he catch him otherwise .. but only after it flopped over .. for no apparent reason too, its not like zelda picked the stone right off it or soemthing-- ALSO why does it not look like it then, like its long nailed creepy thing, but instead his perfectly alived arm argh)-

teleport people to places that have moved kilometers away from where it originally was (as in, rauru teleporting link via dismembered arm part train to the garden of time that was not in the sky last he remembered) but ..only like that?? i guess?? since no one else ever teleports via sonau magic, its always shiekah stuff that teleports except for this one instance (and it cant be it just went back to raurus ghost bc .. he acts like he just woke up as a ghost too so he couldnt have been ghost chilling in the garden of time either ....... why wasnt his ghostly version attached to his slightly less ghostly arm part anyway .....)

lift entire pieces of land into the sky i guess ?? (off screen ... somehow .... for no reason ............ after all the sonau that were there were dead (who did that?? the constructs??????????) and no scar left on the surface either)

make shield, once rauru, otherwise minerubot (we dont know if either did that in the og fight with ganondorf since ... we dont get to see ANYTHING of that 'fight' i am BITING this game in a non sexy way)

let you swim upwards and through ANY amount of earth (only link ever does it)

glue literally anything to anything (unless you shake it too hard) and have that glue actully make the glued together pieces work together as if there was a mechanism connecting it (only link ever does it like that, other NPCs are shown to be able to get pieces to work together without it ... and with no explanation either how THAT works, sicne there is no mechanism in anything??) (fuse is just the same glue glued into an extra ability slot, its not different in any means)

can ALSO glue stuff to the literal MASTERSWORD?? which, if i can be honest, i really dont like, idk, the mastersword itself being fused to some random other material and getting those weird green symbols on it while even changing its form temporarily when you pull it out?? idk, that feels like desecrating an holy object to me (and yet again .. sonau stuff in everything and everywhere ..)

reverse time on objects and generally copy other peoples abilities?? its not the stones since link doesnt have one, its like .. built into rauru bracelet even, thats kinda weird, what do you mean his bracelet is perfectly made for housing that exact number of peoples abilities- or ghost copies for that matter O.o

grab someones heart and seal it in a condition between life and death for THOUSANDS of years while dissolving its wielder ??? i would consider it being influenced by rauru light powers (which is still stupid to give to him of all people) having sealing capabilities towards "evil", but when he does it its really only typically sonau magic stuff, green glow, the symbols, the spiral (... why IS it a spiral, did he turn himself into a less stupid version of the shrines? lol)

(now theres things that overlap with the engima stones, but since its all such a mess i cant tell what part is strictly sonau magic bs and what is magic pebble bs and what is just kinda ... both)

stripping people of their clothes and teleporting to weird dream like dimension tm (end of game)

bringing back ghosts (rauru did the oh no im ghost gone now too which is why i cant tell you anything you should know link looooooool- whoops he back) sonia was never even shown as a ghost before (why? .. no seriously, why? you cant me she didnt have any regrets when she died? why does everyone get a ghost like its nothing but not sonia .. until that point .. which is probably just so she can hold hands with rauru and fuck off again, we wouldnt want her around when rauru isnt, the most importnatest coolestest guy to ever kingexist )

reverse irreversible transformations via stone (you can, uwu its time powersss!! me all you want it sucks in every aspect and i will not be argued with)

restore someone 'beyond repair' arm even when it was not fully purified as it was implied to be necessary at the start- and also just .. take away the arm that got transplanted? (games allergic to consequences)

(more stone than sonau but .. i feel like those two are inherently linked anyway)

"enhance" peoples already existing magic abilities- which .. isnt really true? like that sounds like a lie bc except for giant rauru laser he uses only once, no one seems to actually use it like that, speaking of which

giant laserbeams capable of taking out an entire family of moldugas

my point being, like i talked about before, is that all of the other people with stones, we either dont get to see what they can do bc they just get it and are only shown standing around doing nothing giving no example of its effect (old sages) or the new sages creating copies of themselves that they give to you, which i would argue, is not enhancing their abilties, bc their ability is very element specific, not the shiekahs copy game, yes their ghost houses their ability but .. thats not 'enhancing' that just a double- plus, and this drives me mad, THEIR GHOSTS GO AWAY WHEN THE REAL ONE IS AROUND, which defeats even the idea of it being stronger just bc there two of each now, so they get nothing and you get a ghost copy if they arent around themselves which is not something i would call "enhancing" (its so gamey .... it only exists like that so you get shitty companions with those abilities in the game and when they are around dont get double the already shitty way of activating them.. and i hate it, i hate how gamey it is, you can make things work without it feeling THIS gamey)

ooooor, are just a set piece, like sonia, who doesnt use her stone for anything, bc she cant have been too weak on her own to time reverse a single cup of tea now can she (i wouldnt put it past them)

the only other time it seems to work as it was said is with ganondorf, bc he had miasma (gloom ... ) powers before and just kinda .. miasmad himself up more

time travel! somehow!! even though the traveling person has not shown any time powers before that point, has no idea what the stone is or how to use it, and no idea where to go, nor to think of going there even in panic (which is something i would have accepted, like .. idk atreus travel via the marbles in god of war, how he thinks of home and travels to his old home instead of where he meant to go, thats a neat twist!) (also .. sonia is the one whos lived all her life with time powers and, supposedly, acts like a mentor to zelda (if you can count that one scene where she says some vague -cheer up- stuff) .. what if sonia could time travel, bc she actually knew how to use it, and went into the future to warn them or lead them into the right direction .. already thinking of better things again ..)

stones can also turn people into eternal, immortal (lie, you can kill dragondorf) dragons, permanently (also a lie, zelda is reversed, and 'she was just sleeping uwu', stone she ate is ALSO back) (dragons being something i thought of being ethereal, untouchable and timeless sacred beings you shouldnt try to understand or control- but no, sonaus stupid stones can just turn people into them and its only used for one cool set piece and a fake emotional hook, also a shitty way to bring zelda back into the future all fine and dandy bc her learning to control her sudden new time powers well enough to travel back on her own would have been too much agency for our little maiden prize- the whole dragon thing also feel like desecrating dragons to me)

(probably more im forgetting here lol)

in the end, what my problem is that its TOO much and TOO messy, theres no lines and all the rules told to you are proven wrong with no input from you or even hint at it being possible and no logical lines to it

like sure, in botw the shiekah tech and the encient energy is also rather vague, but you get a sense of what it is, its magic that powers their tech! and it doesnt go beyond that (unlike the sonau stuff which is .. both made AND powered by sonanium?? which feels a little ... stupid) and the people sometiems had some elemental magic, like urbosa and her lightning etc in totk its just all over the place, all the things work together in vague ways and seem like they can both do everything and nothing, which leaves you with an unsatisfying confusion and possible frustration (if you are me, who cares too much) instead of a intrigued curiousity (like i had with the ancient energy from botw) that can still feel like you not knowing the answer too doesnt distract from anything, its feels plausible on its own-

... hey, been some time since i got to rant in long form! take everything with a few more grains of salt than usually, i still have covid :/

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

so for a decent chunk of time now i have been thinking to myself that i need to like really enter the phase of my life where i read seriously for artistic purposes ie read as a writer, which i have kept putting off for various reasons including what taking that goal seriously requires admitting to myself, but this year is the year, i have decided, and am doing ok at this so far. one of the strands of this process is that i am trying to catch up on some of the holes in my reading by reading for example authors considered major that i have thus far totally ignored. the mental list of shoulds has been percolating for longer than i’ve been back into reading. all of this is a long way of saying that not without feeling weird about it i am currently for the first time reading a book by alice munro, who was revealed last year to have treated her daughter with monstrous callousness after being informed of her daughter’s sexual abuse at the hands of munro’s husband. this post is not about that or about my weird feelings (mostly not about those), i just think that with this information still so new and munro’s reputation still so huge it would be off to talk about her without mentioning it. for what it’s worth i’d avoided her since well before then because as i have expressed before i tend not to love short stories and nothing about the way people talked about her fiction made it seem like she would be the exception, except maybe for the fact that everyone in the world is crazy about her stuff.

anyway. so i went with hateship friendship courtship loveship marriage bc that seemed to be the famousest one. the first story i liked a lot and really really admired from a craft perspective. it’s structured like a perfect little music box and the plot is wacky but somehow step by step feels totally believable, so that by the end you feel like someone has played a trick on you but in a good way. i was like ah fuck i do get it. and also i was like, ah see but the thing about her quiet sparing prose style is that this story is actually incredibly plotty and intricately designed and full of action - quiet character based action but action nonetheless. this is a story where things actually happen, which is what a lot of stories lack. ok i have cracked the code! i am ready to read the rest of these stories and probably then not read her anymore because while she’s undeniably very good i simply do tend to prefer writers with different styles and preoccupations and that coupled with the situation makes me feel like i don’t need to prioritize diving in any deeper but perhaps my mind would change. either way ok. i get it. i get the munro thing.

however! then the next several stories were exactly the kind of boring “well observed” nothingburgers i usually harbor such distaste for. and i could still see that she was in many ways better at doing this kind of thing than a lot of people. (her characters feel distinct from one another, which, you know? they don’t always. and her ear is not bad. i would not say i enjoy the way she uses language but her ear is not bad.) and there was the occasional detail i appreciated. but overall it just did not add up to enough for me to give a shit. i didn’t get to the end and think “ah, a magic trick” or “wow, real life.” i didn’t have any feelings at all and was also pretty bored. and actually i have started to kind of suspect that maybe i have more strongly negative feelings about certain traits in her writing than “don’t get it, not for me,” but i have to think about that a little more and maybe finish the collection before i can articulate that grievance. i mean she did win a nobel prize. for reasons of my own intellectual integrity i should read a whole book before i decide i think maybe she’s [redacted].

anyway. mostly i made this post because i decided to read or at least start her next story while treadmill strolling and i got as far as the bottom of the first page and read “in the countryside where i lived as a child, wells would go dry in the summer” and was like “fuck you.” and i wanna be clear that i know this is not a meaningful criticism and in fact possibly reflects poorly on my incurable city bitch blinders. i’m just sharing that i had such a strong aversion to you want me to read about fucking wells??????? that for the time being i simply could not bring myself to keep going although at some point i will because i am building readerly discipline. but. my god. 30 pages ahead of me of quiet spare unobtrusive (read: uninteresting) prose and you want to talk about fucking wells.