#but I have definitely called her 14 at one point this past day

[lilyginnyblackv2]

Buddy Daddies Character Ages:

Miri: 4 to 5, Timeskip: 15 (1st Year HS)

Karin: 22 to 23, Timeskip: 33

Miss Anna: 24 to 25, Timeskip: 35

Rei: 25 to 26, Timeskip: 36

Kazuki: 28 to 29, Timeskip: 39

Kyutaro: 32 to 33, Timeskip: 43

Basic Timeline:

Met Miri: December 24th, 2022

Christmas Party: December 24th, 2023

Timeskip: April 2033 (Start of School)

[wheelsupimagine]

Meant to be -Spencer Reid x Fem!reader

Pairing: Spencer Reid x FemReader

Word count: 3.2k words

Warnings: mentions of s3 e16 and s4 e24, angst and fluff

Summary: A case reminded Spencer of his past and you the only friend he had in high school, what if one day you two meet again in DC.

Being a resident genius had its favors, the team bets everything on him and he could always retrieve this but this case was different, it was difficult it got personal.

His edict memory is a blessing but not when a case like this reminded him of his past - Alexa Lisbon.

Then he wished he could forget everything for once in his life, but he will always remember.

When Spencer stepped out of the plane, he felt like he could breathe again, but his mind still raced - this case was an emotional roller coaster for him and the best way for Spencer to calm down was to go to his favorite bookstore.

The moment Spencer stepped into the bookstore he felt relieved, the familiar smell of old books and fresh coffee felt like home and no other person was in sight.

"Hey Spencer though case?!" Miranda the owner of the shop asked.

"Hey Miranda, yeah it was."

"Okay, your coffee will be ready in a bit, the bookstore is almost empty just one more person is here."

Spencer nodded but he was surprised that someone else would be here at this time still Spencer didn’t let himself bother knowing he would probably not even find this person.

Spencer left Miranda and made his way deeper into the bookstore. He was so invested in finding a new book, that he totally forgot about his coffee till he heard his name being called.

"Spencer Reid?" A stranger called his name

He turned his head and then he saw you.

Y/N Y/L/N.

What Spencer didn’t tell Derek was, who got him down from the goalpost back then - it was y/n, after that night you two spent more time together - Spencer could always come to you, and you two never talked about his problems and struggles because when he was with you it didn’t matter, once or twice he talked with you about his mom but mostly he just enjoyed your company and felt like a decent kid with a friend.

When he graduated high school, he never looked back but after 14 years you stand now in front of him right here in this bookstore in DC.

"Miranda asked me if I could bring you your coffee before it gets cold." You said and pointed at his coffee in your hand.

"My god Spencer, I can’t believe it’s you." You continued.

"Thank you y/n." Spencer took the coffee from you.

"It’s been a while, you look good by the way."

Spencer blushed, but he didn’t say anything back.

"Ähm yeah it was nice to see you again, I don’t want to bother much longer." As you attempted to leave, Spencer stopped you.

"Actually I could use some company if you like… Only if you want to obviously, I would understand if you don’t want to…" Spencer

rambled, but you stopped him.

"I would love to keep you company Spencer."

You two sat down and drank your coffee and talked. Spencer found out that you moved here two years ago because you got a job offer at the Walter Reed hospital and nothing held you in Las Vegas. Spencer talked to you about his job in the FBI, you asked him about Diana and it surprised him that you still knew her name, you two had a great time together until you caught Spencer off guard.

"Spencer, how are you really? You have very dark circles under your eyes."

"I…I haven’t slept really, it was this case that reminded me of something in the past." Spencer sighed and didn’t dare to look you in the eyes.

You knew where his mind went, you rubbed Spencer’s arm.

"But look at you now, these High school jerks and Alexa are definitely regretting this now." You looked at your clock.

"Hey Spencer it’s getting late, I have to wake up early and honestly you need some sleep too."

Spencer's mimic changed from happy to sad in one motion.

"Oh, I understand. Yeah yeah, you should leave you need your sleep." Spencer took his distance from you, thinking you wanted to leave because you already had enough of him.

"Spencer hey, if you want we can exchange phone numbers so we could meet again."

Spencer’s lips curved into a smile.

"Yeah, I would like that."You exchanged numbers and you both left the shop together.

Sadly you two had to split ways, Spencer insisted on walking you home but you promised him that it wouldn’t even take 10 minutes till you were home. Spencer started rambling about unsafety and what everything could happen in 10 minutes.

"Wow, now I might think I have to stay with you forever." You joked

but Spencer was stunned and it caused his cheeks to turn slightly pink.

"I just made a joke Dr. Reid, okay. Would you feel better if I wrote you when I made it home save in 10 minutes?" You asked him.

"This would make it slightly better. But.."

"But?" You asked confused.

"You lied," Spencer said.

"What?"

"You first said you would be home in less than 10 minutes now it’s exactly 10 minutes." Spencer smiled and you laughed.

"Come home safe Dr. Reid."You smiled and turned around making your way home.

When Spencer arrived home, he thought about going to bed immediately but you crossed his mind again and when he looked at his phone he saw that you hadn’t wrote him yet. So instead of getting in his pyjamas he sat on his couch and waited for your text.

After 10 minutes and 45 seconds, you texted him letting him know you made it home safe.

Spencer:You are too late.

Y/n:What?!

Spencer:You are exactly 45 seconds too late. Next time I call the FBI.

Y/n:haha. I am so sorry dr Reid, I changed into my pajamas first.

Y/n:You didn’t need to stay awake for me

Spencer:But I wanted to make sure that you save.

Y/n:Thank you Spencer but you also need to sleep.

Spencer:Good night Y/n sleep well.

Y/n:Sleep well genius.

Over the last few months, Spencer and you met at the bookstore when your jobs allowed it. Otherwise, you two stay connected through messages and phone calls. Even the team noticed a shift in Spencer’s mood and as the man Derek is he asks him about it.

"Hey, pretty boy, who’s got you on the phone like this?"

"What do you mean, I use my phone like I always do."

"No boy wonder, for someone who rarely uses his phone in his free time, you are really caught up in it now." Derek laughed.

"Is pretty boy in love?" Derek asked and wiggled with his brows.

"Derek please can you leave it, it’s nothing," Spencer answered and didn’t dare to look Derek in the eyes.

"Okay Spencer, I let it slide for now but just so you know I care about you and if there is someone in your life that makes you happy, I just want to know."

Paperwork days for Spencer were never a problem, he accepted it cause it needed to be done but now with you in his life, he loved paperwork because it meant he wasn’t away on a case and with you having the morning shift, it gave you two the chance to meet up after work and he enjoyed your time together, he feels like he can be like himself with you and he hasn’t laughed so much since he met you.

But your jobs didn't allow this too much, either you had the night shift or Spencer was out of town for a case and he hated this, he hated when you weren’t around, he hated it when you two were in the same city but didn’t get to see each other and even though he loves his job, he couldn’t wait to come home, to see you - he missed you.

Cases also mean for him that he barely has time to call you.

Currently, Spencer has been away for a week already, this case going longer than he thought it would take, Spencer lay on his motel bed and tried to find the breakthrough for the case but nothing came to his mind.

He put the papers aside and looked at the clock, it wasn’t too late in DC yet, and he was unsure if he should call you, it’s nothing you usually do so that Spencer could stay focused on the case but honestly, he needed to hear your voice tonight, so he tried to call you hoping you aren’t already asleep.

"Spencer? Is everything okay?" Your voice sounds raw.

"Hey, yeah everything is okay. Did I wake you up? I am so sorry, I really didn’t mean to, it was a stupid idea to call you, you obviously slept, and your voice sounds raw. I should-."

"Spencer, breath, everything is fine. I didn’t sleep, I - I just rolled around, I was thinking about you."

Spencer was stunned by your confession, he stayed silent but his heart was beating very fast.

"So yeah, what’s on your mind, Spencer?" You asked breaking the silence.

"We don’t come forward with the case and I...I wanted to hear your voice." Spencer confessed.

"Sometimes it takes more time to find the perpetrator but the only thing that matters is that you will find him. I miss you but please stay safe there."

"I will y/n, I promise."

"Hey, Spencer."

"Yes, y/n."

"Why don’t we meet when you come back, we could order takeout and make a movie marathon at my place nothing fancy." You suggested.

"Yeah, yeah I would like that."

"Good, I will see you soon, good night Spencer."

"Good night y/n."

A few days later the team finally caught the unsub.

As the team flew back to Virginia, Spencer wrote you to let you know that he would land in the late afternoon and asked you if you two wanted to have the movie marathon tonight which you accepted.

Spencer didn’t even realize that he smiled like an idiot until Derek pulled him out of his thoughts.

"You pretty boy what got your smile like that?" Derek asked Spencer.

"Uh n-no-nothing," Spencer said but his cheeks turned 10 times darker every second.

"Sureee Spencer."

Spencer didn’t say anything.

"Hey Spencer," Derek said.

"Yeah."

"It’s good to see you like this," Derek replied. He left Spencer alone with his thoughts, he couldn’t wait to see you tonight.

Spencer arrived at your apartment complex 10 minutes too early, he first waited in his car, drumming his fingers on his bouncing leg, trying to calm himself down but he failed miserably, so he stood in front of your door 7 minutes and 43 seconds too early but it was okay, in that time he tried to get his breath under control.

But before Spencer got his breath under control, you already opened the door.

"Man, I thought you would never knock at my door." You greeted him.

"How-how did you know I stood in front of your door?" Spencer asked.

"I saw you parking your car 5 minutes ago, I waited for you.”

"Oh yeah I didn’t want to be late here but I also didn’t want to be too early, I didn’t know if you were ready yet," Spencer explained.

"It’s okay Spencer but next time just knock you could never be annoying to me, even if you're too early you can sit on my couch like right now."

"I will quickly make the popcorn, you can look for a movie we could watch." You suggested and Spencer sat down and looked for a good movie to watch that you also liked, when you returned with the popcorn and other snacks, you sat down next to him but not too close, Spencer still didn’t decide what to watch.

"I-I don’t know what to watch, movies that I like are mostly not the type from others," Spencer admitted.

"Okay mhm, what do you think of Star Trek?"

"What?!" Spencer was completely shocked.

"Ähm okay was that a bad request?"

"No, no it’s- it’s great actually, I love it, I didn’t think you would like these types of movies," Spencer admitted.

"I am full of surprises Spencer."

So you watched the Star Trek series and after some time you both fell asleep, no one knows who fell asleep first maybe it was you or him but for sure was that you both bumped your heads, after a phone went off - it was Spencer’s.

"I’m sorry, I’ve got a case, is your head okay?"

"Yeah, yeah is there enough time for coffee or do you have to leave immediately?"

"No, it looks really important I have to leave now, but at least the case is here."

"Okay, good luck, be safe."

"I will be." As Spencer was about to leave he turned around once more.

"Hey y/n?"

"Yes, Spencer."

"I had a lot of fun last night."

"Me too, maybe we couldn’t do it again sometime?"

"I would love to, bye y/n."

"See you soon doctor, come home to me in one piece."

Just when the door felt shut, your phone started ringing, it was the hospital.

"Hey, y/n. Is it possible for you to fill in today, maya is sick."

"Yeah sure, I am on my way."

Spencer just visited Abby one of the remaining survivors, in the middle of their conversation Abby got aphasia, which scared Spencer, this stain kills people in a short amount of time and right now he couldn’t do anything.

Then he thought about you, and he had the urge to talk to you, even though he may get in trouble for this he needed to know you were okay.

"Spencer, is everything okay?" You said quite in panic.

"Yeah, yeah sure why wouldn’t it be… I.. I just wanted to hear your voice and I wanted to know if you are okay."

"Everything is okay, besides I have to work today."

"What !! I thought it was your free day?"

"Yeah, change in plans, one of my colleagues is sick and they asked me to fill in, but it’s fine, it’s a quiet day." You lied to Spencer, nothing was quiet on this day.

Hey, Spencer, it looks like I’ve got to go out there again. Look out for yourself and maybe if you’d like we could out soon.. like on a real date, maybe?"

"..I would like it, yeah, that would be great."

"Good, stay safe Spencer. Bye"

"Goodbye, Y/n. Take care of yourself. See you soon."

You both hung up with a smile and at least forgot the scary situation for a few seconds, before you got out again and took care of the anthrax-infected patients.

Spencer and Derek made their way to Nichols a possible suspect in the anthrax case. When they arrived Spencer had cut himself briefly on the thorn bush but it didn't stop him and continued to walk with Derek closer to the house.

Before Morgan and Reid entered Nichols's private lap, Derek got a phone call, Reid made his way into the lab and left Derek behind.

As Derek ended the call, he realized Spencer was not behind him. Derek ran towards the house calling for Reid and just when he arrived at the house, Spencer closed the door from the lab and told Derek he couldn’t get in there just then Derek saw the broken test tube with Anthrax in it.

Spencer was a step closer to death.

You took the mask from your face and took a deep breath and you finally broke down, you started crying, it was too much for you, seeing all those vulnerable people and you can’t do anything to help them, you can only try to make this stay as comfortable as possible.

You knew what this job meant, you can’t save everybody but this is not fair, how can a human being so heartless and let these people perish?

You took another deep breath and then you thought about Spencer, hopefully was okay, far away from this situation but deep down you knew he wasn’t, he is in the FBI of course he is involved but please let him be okay.

You needed to hear Spencer's voice, so you called him.

"Y/n…" Spencer began to cough.

"Spencer.. what's happening. You don’t sound okay."

"Everything is fine." Spencer coughed again.

"Spencer…no matter what is happening…"

"Y/n listen." Spencer cut you off.

"I love you Y/n… everything is gonna be okay but I've got to go now. Then Spencer hung up and you didn’t get to answer him.

You tried it a few more times but he didn’t pick and now it felt like your world broke down, you burst into tears knowing couldn’t do anything.

After Spencer and Dr. Kimura may have found the cure for this anthrax, Spencer finally gets to go out of the lab and go to the shower, but as Spencer untied his tie, Dr. Kimura sees the cut Spencer got from the bush and the situation just got more dangerous, hopefully, the cure was in the inhaler.

When Dr. Kimura came in with a newly infected anthrax patient your heart skipped a beat - it was Spencer.

He was in an awful state and for a moment you didn’t know if he would survive this.

The situation finally got under control with the confirmation from the lab that the cure was in the inhaler, the last survivors and Spencer were able to be cured and now it was a matter of time before Spencer woke up.

When you walked towards Spencer’s room, you saw a man sitting by Spencer and eating his jello that you put on his table, just then Spencer woke up and immediately asked if there would be more jello.

As you arrived at Spencer's room you couldn’t hold back anymore.

"Hey." You've said as if a stone fell from your heart.

"Hi." Said Spencer with a smile on his face.

You both wanted to say so much more but with this muscular man in the room who you didn’t know - there was an awkward silence there.

"Okay, I think it’s my time to leave. Have fun lover boy." The man said and left you too alone.

"You’ve scared me, Spencer." You sat down on the bed and took his hand in yours.

"I didn’t mean to do this and I am sorry for what I said, I would understand if you don’t want to see me anymore, I mean with what I said I took this.." Spencer rambled.

"I love you too Spencer."

"WHAT?! Really?"

"Yes Spencer, of course I do, I've loved you since we first met back in Las Vegas."

Spencer cupped with both hands your face and you leaned in and then you two kissed for the first time.

"So you still want to go out with me?" You asked.

"Of course Y/n." You both hugged and Spencer's face was crooked in your neck.

"Hey, Y/n?"

"Yes, Spencer."

"Before we go out on the date, can I have some of this jello?" Spencer asked shyly but you just started laughing.

"Of course, my love, you can have as much jello as you want."

Man - when I wrote this it felt from length okay but now I feel like it’s a little rushed maybe you could give me feedback if I should get more in detail with the story and the conversations.

I am still very new to writing and it feels super though to write Spencer so that he still has his character traits and doesn’t sound like a totally different Spencer.

[littlemisssquiggles]

The Missed Potential of WISH

It’s funny.

Last year, I really wanted to watch the new Wish animated film from Disney.

While everyone else were hating on the art and animation style, I actually kind of liked it and was genuinely looking forward to possibly viewing it on the big screen.

Then the reviews came in. Needless to say, I didn’t watch Wish.

I remember a time when people used to complain about Disney making “too many love stories”. Then Disney stopped making love stories leading to films like Moana, Coco, Encanto and even Turning Red, which weren't bad.

Following the failure of Wish, the biggest complaint I’ve heard for that film is that “it probably would’ve been more successful if it were a love story”.

The last romance Disney had we’re the protagonist was a “black girl” was Tiana from The Princess and the Frog which was technically their last 2D animated feature film.

And don’t get me wrong, til this day, The Princess and the Frog still tracks. Second to Tangled, I still very much love TPATF and it's one of Disney's classics that definitely have the rewatchability.

That being said, Wish is the first Disney film I've seen where the missed potential of what its story was originally supposed to be (herego a love story between a human girl and shape-shifting star boy) versus what we actually got is more popular.

Aww Disney, what were you thinking?! How could you think a film where the main character, who is a PoC, the first "black girl" (well technically I think Asha is meant to be mixed) female lead/love interest that you've had since Tiana in The Princess and the Frog in 14 YEARS where she is actually human for all of the movie and gets to share a love story with a handsome "star boy" who can literally make all of her dreams come and think that that's NOT gonna make you money!

I haven't even watched Wish yet I've seen more artwork and fan-made animatics of Asha and Star Boy than anything from the actual film.

At this point, Disney should just take all of the original ideas they left on the chopping block for Wish and revise them into a future title which is an actual love story they could market from.

Or…as an audience, we can just wait for one of their competitors, like Dreamworks to smell the blood in the water like the sharks they are and capitalize on Disney’s latest flop by taking the ideas they didn’t use and coming up with something that could potentially usurp the popularity of Wish’s failure.

In the case of Dreamworks, they don’t even need to make a new star boy since, technically, they already have potential “star boy” they can use.

Remember Rise of the Guardians?

Hahaaaaa OF COURSE you do, since it gave us the original immortal boy internet heart throb (also ironically voiced by Chris Pine who played King Magnifico in Wish) ---Jack Frost.

I find it hilarious that another reason why folks are hating on Wish so much is because Disney could've given us another potential immortal boy heart throb "Star Boy" to finally usurp the chokehold that Jack Frost has had on our generation of weebs and artists for the past 12 years since RoTG first dropped.

We could've had it all.

But as I mentioned Rise of the Guardians, did you know that there is character in the original series it was based off of called Nightlight?

While technically not a “star boy”, Nightlight is the closest thing to one in an already established universe from a Dreamworks property and since this squiggle meister never misses a beat to push for continuation of Rise of Guardians, hear me out:

Imagine a Rise of the Guardian prequel-sequel about the character Nightlight and make it a love story.

(Because apparently there's a girl that Nightlight grows close to in his story called Katherine. It's just a friendship but needless to say, there is potential there).

I know it’s been 12 years since Rise of Guardians first dropped and I know I've be hollering for a sequel since 2012.

But c'mon, if there was ever a time for Dreamworks to capitalize on an RoTG sequel, it's now.

As Wish has proven, the internet is hungry for another handsome immortal boy with magical powers.

Dreamworks set the ball rolling with Jack Frost.

If Dreamworks were to revisit RoTG again, take Nightlight's story. Take his design and give him the "Jack Frost" treatment and make it a love story on top of that.

I'm not saying it will happen. Not even saying it could happen.

But if somehow thought becomes reality and something like this does actually happen, whoever does it will be rolling in dough.

This is just a longwinded way of me to say that somebody needs to bank on the concept of a star falling in love with a human and do it now since as the internet has shown, it's what the people want and what Wish failed to give.

~LMS (2024)

[writeforfandoms]

Waking Lions 14

Find the series masterlist

We learn more about Ace's past and her connection to Kate. Also, she finally gets a meal.

Warnings: swearing, past violence, mention of past murder, Ace is still morally gray, Price still needs his own warning.

Word count: 1.7k

Captain went out first, making sure the way was clear for you as you locked up. You hiked your bag a little higher up on your shoulder and followed him down and out to the street, where an SUV was waiting for you. 

“Ma’am.” Garrick nodded to you from the driver’s seat, and you settled in the back. 

You looked out the window, tired and a little detached after everything. A quick look showed that you’d been working for nearly twelve hours straight. That was… less than ideal. 

“Here.” 

You blinked and refocused your gaze on Captain, who’d twisted enough to hand a water bottle back to you. 

“Thanks.” You took the water, twisting the cap off slowly and taking a drink. You were definitely dehydrated, but you drank slowly, sips at a time, gaze unfocused. 

It had been a hell of a couple days. 

Honestly, now that you were thinking about it, you were surprised Laswell had noticed so fast. Was it just timing? Or had she gotten word of Gray poking around? 

“Nearly there.” 

Captain’s voice made you blink rapidly, lifting your head. Both men were facing forward, which was a bit of a relief. 

You still weren’t sure how you were going to deal with Captain yet. 

Garrick parked and a moment later Captain was opening your door for you. You almost made a teasing remark about him being a gentleman, but… Well, that was too much effort, and you were tired. You just shuffled after him, watching for Kate. 

Kate spotted you first, your eyes locking across the distance. You sighed, long and slow. Oh, this was not going to be fun.

But you still let yourself be herded to a seat across from her, plopping down ungracefully. That didn’t matter. You didn’t need to be graceful right then. 

“What happened?” She looked between all three of you. 

You picked up the menu and held it in front of your face. Captain could start this one. 

“Found her working,” Captain said after a few moments of thick silence. “No evidence of anyone else watching. I doubt anyone knows she’s here.” 

“And why are you here?” Laswell pulled the menu down to stare at you. Damn. She was too good at making you admit things. 

“Gray found me.” It was not any easier to admit aloud, even after all the work you’d put in burning three aliases. “Got a call from one of my clients, she informed me that he was asking around after me.” You let the menu fall to the table, exhausted all over again. Your hands were shaking. Just a little. 

Laswell frowned, leaning back a little in her chair. “You’re sure?”

“I’m sure I’m not willing to risk it,” you shot back, tucking your hands under your thighs. Not that you really thought they had missed your shakiness. 

“Which contact?” Laswell tapped her fingers on the table. “Who told you?” 

You frowned at her. “No.” 

“I need to know where to start looking.” 

You sighed, tipping your head back. Valeria had called you, but she’d said he had been asking around. Okay. Gray wasn’t the type who went to underlings, so he hadn’t been asking Las Almas in particular. He’d been asking around that layer of criminal organization. Valeria knew some Russians and some AQ, which was how she’d gotten mixed up in the missile business. 

It was possible that White was just a coincidence… But now you weren’t so sure. Especially given that the last place you’d heard about Gray was in the Middle East. And the Russians had ties to AQ. 

In retrospect, you were amazed you hadn’t put the pieces together sooner. 

“He’s probably working with AQ, or adjacent to them.” You spoke quietly, without looking at any of them. 

“He wasn’t that eager to watch the world burn,” Laswell pointed out.

“Last conversation either of us had with him was years ago,” you pointed out, dull, flat. “It’s likely his morals have further skewed. Or he’s decided the ends justify the means. Or he thinks he’s using them for his own ends.” You shrugged, just a little movement. 

Captain nudged you, and then again when you didn’t straighten up fast enough for him. “You need to eat.”

You thought about arguing, you really did. But he wasn’t wrong. You flapped a hand at him, letting the others order first as you scanned the menu until you found something vaguely appetizing. Good enough. 

“So who is this guy?” Garrick asked, glancing between you and Laswell. 

“Crazy asshole,” you muttered, leaning back in your seat again. Your eyes burned a little from too many hours spent staring at a screen. 

“Bad news,” Lazwell added. “He’s got ties to weapons smuggling, but he hadn’t previously been a terrorist.” 

You grimaced but shrugged. Eh. Close enough. 

“And why does he want to kill you?” Captain spoke quietly. You could feel his gaze on you. 

“He’s wanted to kill me for years.” Your voice was too flat. This was a tone you hadn’t heard from yourself in years. You didn’t like hearing it now. “He decided to take over my father’s business a long time ago, had him killed, tried to have me killed. Didn’t work, obviously.” 

“The fact that you turned witness against him didn’t help his opinion any,” Kate pointed out. 

You huffed softly. “And you still couldn’t keep him locked up.” But there was no vitriol in your voice. This had happened a long time ago, you’d come to terms with it already. 

“You’re staying with someone until we get this sorted.”

That got you to lift your head and glower at her. “No.”

“If he knows you’re alive and he’s searching for you, you’re in danger. Until we can deal with him, you shouldn’t be alone.” 

You grimaced. She wasn’t wrong, exactly, but you hated it. “Don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“You can stay with us.”

You blinked at the unexpected offer from Captain. “I dunno,” you drawled. “Sure you won’t try to kill me?” 

He huffed out a soft laugh. “Not on my to-do list,” he agreed glibly. 

“Good.” Laswell looked between the two of you with something very much like satisfaction, which was setting off all kinds of little alarms in your brain. Kate trying to meddle in your life was very much not a good thing. “We can discuss what you still need to do.”

You narrowed your eyes a little at her. “In terms of…?” 

“Your research.”

You blew out a soft breath. Right. Research. The thing you were supposed to be doing before you heard about Gray. “Dunno what more I can get,” you admitted, rubbing your forehead briefly. Now that you were actually paying attention to your body, you definitely had a dehydration headache. “Especially not without getting any closer to Gray.”

“You think he’s involved?”

“I think I’d be a fool to assume otherwise at this point.” You rolled your shoulders, drinking half your water in one go. 

Laswell was silent for a few long moments, just watching you. It didn’t make you nervous, not after all this time. Sure, you didn’t want her meddling, but you trusted her. 

“We’ll discuss this more after you’ve slept on it,” she decided. 

You scoffed but didn’t argue. You didn’t have the energy for that. Food arrived and you all ate, though Captain and Garrick talked quietly. You just focused on your food, working through it with a sort of exhausted determination. 

“I’ll do some looking on my side,” Laswell said, looking at Captain. You forced yourself to pay attention, though you were fading fast now that some of the frantic desperation of the situation had faded. 

Captain nodded. “Tomorrow, then?” 

“Tomorrow,” Laswell agreed. 

Captain stood, as did Garrick. It took Captain nudging your chair for you to stand as well, holding back a groan. Yup. You’d definitely spent too many hours hunched over your computer. The three of you were silent as you walked back to the car, Captain opening the door for you again. 

“Do you have everything from that apartment?” Captain asked you. 

You blinked, slow and sleepy. You needed to not be, but you’d hit your limit. The food had really cemented your fate - rather than invigorating you, the food was sending you on the fast lane to snooze land. So it took you longer than normal to answer him. “Yeah.” 

He nodded once, glancing back at you as Garrick started to drive. “You’ll stay with one of us.” 

“Bossy.” You made a face but couldn’t muster the energy to truly fight him. Not on this. Not now. 

He huffed softly. But he didn’t say anything else. Something you were rather grateful for. 

You weren’t up to your normal verbal jousting just at the moment. 

The drive to their hotel was silent, and you slowly tipped sideways into the door. Your blinks got longer and slower as you struggled to stay awake, the quiet climate controlled air too soothing. 

The car stopped and your door opened. You probably would have slid right out except for Captain bracing you, chest firm under your shoulder and temple. 

“C’mon,” he rumbled softly. “Just get upstairs and you can sleep.”

“Not sleepy,” you grumbled, just to be contrary. But you could barely peel your eyes open, instead listing harder into him until he reached across you to unbuckle your seatbelt. 

You did make sure you had your bag, though. You needed that. And you refused to give it up. 

“Up we go,” Captain murmured, soft and amused and rumbly and entirely too pleasant. You stumbled a little, but Captain held you upright and kept his arm around your waist, guiding you inside. 

You didn’t pay much attention to anything, too tired and out of it to bother to try. Captain wouldn’t let you get killed. Or grabbed. Not while he was right next to you, anyway. 

A door opened and Captain pulled you through. A moment later he was gently tipping you into a bed, and you sighed as you went entirely limp. He huffed and pulled your shoes off for you. 

“Sleep well, love,” he murmured, one finger gently touching your temple. 

And you were out.

[oneatlatime]

Hiii!!! I’ve been binging through your blog for the past few weeks and I noticed how you talk about how Kataang(Katara x Aang) is portrayed in the show. Honestly yeah, I will admit I didn’t like it at first but now I just don’t really care for it. But I’d be interested hearing an in-depth opinion on the ship(unless you already did and I just never noticed or forgot 😭).

Another question, do you think you’re going to read the comics that came out the series? If you’re asking my opinion I’d say they’re a uuuh 7-8 out of 10 IG?

I do have thoughts on Kataang which I haven't shared yet. Part of me thinks I should wait to answer your ask until I've finished the series; it's obvious to me that these two are being set up to be the big finale couple, which means if I talk about them now I'm probably missing the pieces I need to have a full, well-rounded opinion. But you know what? I feel like talking about them now. So here goes.

Short answer: It peeves me that Aang comes from a culture that seemingly doesn't even have parents, yet he still manages to date his mother.

Long answer: they're both way too young. I'm a huge fan of letting the kids be kids for as long as possible. Especially with these kids, who have been prevented from being kids by the war. As Katara points out in the opening scene of the very first episode, she's been the mother since her own died (or at least she feels like she has had to be the mother). Call me crazy, but I'd rather Katara spend a few years after the war doing dumb childish stuff to recapture that lost childhood than jump straight into a relationship. Isn't the safety and space to do dumb childish stuff one of the things those who are trying to end the war are fighting for? Shouldn't she get to enjoy that? And Aang is just way too young no matter what way you look at it. He's 12 right? I think that would make him a grade 6 student. Back in my day (yells at cloud) Grade 6 students collected yugioh cards and feuded over who had the snazzier lunch box. I could picture a 12 year old having a crush on a slightly older girl that goes to the same school, but it would be short lived and unactionable. I guess Katara would be around 14? So, a grade 8 student. A grade 8 girl would not date a grade 6 boy. It would just never happen.

They've both got bigger fish to fry. Aang is the last Air Nomad AND the current Avatar. When he fully takes on both of those positions, what time will he have for a girlfriend? Katara is the only Southern Waterbender. Whether or not she wants the responsibility, it will be her duty to single-handedly reconstruct a huge portion of her nation's culture from the ground up once she returns south. Does she have the time to ping pong around the globe mothering her boyfriend as he rides giant animals or does Avatar stuff? Say she wants to: what will her family and the rest of her tribe think of the only person who can access such a huge part of their culture riding off into the sunset?

Their current relationship dynamic is still too mother/son. This is more obvious in season 1 than in season 2 (maybe that's growth?) but you can't depict a male/female pair as pieta and then expect me to ship. I think this could change somewhat, but I've already been disappointed in that. I thought that once Katara had mastered waterbending and therefore felt she had something other than mothering to contribute to the group, she would back off with the mothering. And she did, a little, but not enough for my tastes. Maybe as Aang fully steps into the Avatar role and the last Air Nomad role (sidenote: no idea what the latter would look like) he'll move on to a more equal relationship with Katara.

I think Katara is meant for better things than rebirthing a nation. Bending seems to be at least somewhat genetic. So if Aang wants Airbending in any form to survive after his death, he's going to need a billion kids. While I could definitely see Katara wanting children, I don't see her as the barefoot pregnant type.

I'm not convinced that Aang has a clear picture of Katara. She has flaws, which is good! Does Aang see them?

I get the feeling that, while they are helping each others' skills grow as they travel the globe, they are also preventing each others' personalities from growing. As long as Aang is around, Katara has someone to mother. As long as Katara is around, Aang has someone who prevents him from feeling the full weight of his responsibilities. Again, this is worse in season 1, but how often did Katara deny that Aang was to blame for something that was at least somewhat his fault? Aang will never become a fully rounded person until he can look at his flaws and mistakes dead on and say "my bad" without a Katara in the background going "no you're perfect!" Katara deserves to find out what kind of person she is outside of a nurturing role. Quick thought experiment: what if you pair Katara with someone who needs no nurturing, or better yet, nurtures her? And what if you pair Aang with someone as bluntly truthful as Toph? Katara and Aang might find both of those situations uncomfortable at first, but I think it would contribute to their growth.

Aang having a crush on an oblivious Katara would be a great single season arc. I think it would fit both of their characters well, and I think Aang growing past latching on to the first person he saw after the iceberg would be a good way to show that he's rooting himself in his time-displaced present, and fully committing to ending the war. And don't get me wrong, I love Aang and Katara both as a fighting team and as friends.

These kids are all fighting a war, and all kids. I don't mind the supporting characters having romances, because it's not like Sokka or Suki can end the war, no matter how hard they try/might want to. But I'm a big believer in doing one thing at a time, and I think if you're the only person in the whole world who can end a war, then ending the war should take precedence over dating. I'm aware that that's an unrealistic expectation and out of step with the show's theme of balance. In the real world, birth rates skyrocket during war time because people live for the moment and grab happiness (read boinking) wherever they see it. But both these kids are pre-boinking age so I'm going to be a cranky old fart about it.

Being the wife of the Avatar is a position that will often come with being relegated to second place, especially with the amount of work that undoing a century of war will take. Although she works well in a team, Katara is a naturally dominant personality. Katara did enough of putting herself in second place before the series started. I think Katara could very easily fall into the pattern of subjugating her own needs and desires and putting her husband's first, but I don't want that to happen. And one way to prevent that from happening is to prevent her from dating the single most politically important person in the universe. (To be clear, Aang would never deliberately squish a wife like that, I just think the workload of being Avatar and last air nomad would cause that to happen)

A lot of my objections to this pairing are very adult objections. I don't know what I would have thought about this pairing when I was the age of the show's target audience. It undoubtedly would have bothered me less, although I probably would have been put off by how twee it is. As an adult, all I can see are babies playing house.

As for the comics, I hadn't made any concrete plans to read them. I don't know where I'd get access to them. I'm not sure how canonical they are. I guess I should probably decide whether or not I want to read them after I've finished the whole series. I've been told that my girl Jin appears in one of them, so I definitely have some interest. I have also had the Avatar Kyoshi novels strenuously recommended to me. But so much of Avatar's charm, to me, is in the medium. And while comics are closer to animation than books are, they're still static. Avatar does movement so well.

[smartycvnt]

Perfect Fit

Title: Perfect Fit

Pairing: Meredith Grey x Reader

Prompt: "Is that my shirt?"

Word Count: 680

Ash was ready to collapse the moment she walked through the doors. The back to back shifts were rough always rough. The case that had been dropped on Ash's desk at the start of her second shift made it worse. It was urgent, something that needed to be dealt with and wrapped up as quickly as possible.

Ash didn't like to play the political game, but her boss definitely did. He had been on her case for the past 14 hours. Meredith had called at least twice, but Ash hadn't gotten a moment away to answer her phone. As tired as she was, Ash knew that Meredith wanted to spend some time with her.

Zola, Ellis, and Derek were out with Amelia and Maggie, so the house was empty. Meredith was sitting up and waiting for Ash. They didn't say anything to one another at first. Meredith could see how tired Ash was, so she just moved her legs off of the couch to make room for Ash. Ash just flopped back against the couch, not bothering to take off her work clothes.

"Long day?" Meredith asked.

"Longest day of my career," Ash answered. Meredith frowned as she wrapped her arm around Ash's shoulders. Ash leaned into Meredith's touch, glad to have some much needed comfort. "You know that senator's kid that got robbed? They gave me his case. Merkling told me that if I didn't solve it by the time I left, there wasn't much point in me coming back."

"What an asshole," Meredith huffed. She had always hated Ash's boss. In the scheme of things, he was middle management, but the man acted like he ran the entire Seattle police department. "Are you hungry, there's some leftovers in the fridge that I can heat up for you."

"Maybe in a bit. I kind of just want to sit here with you for a while. Tell me about your day." Ash shifted slightly on the couch so that she was looking at Meredith. After a long day of a staring at paperwork and computer screens, Meredith was a nice change of scenery. Ash could have stared at Meredith for the rest of her life and been happy.

"There's not much to tell. It was a slow day at the hospital, so I got to come home on time. The kids missed you at bedtime, but we got through it anyway. I wanted to go in and see you, but I didn't want to distract you. I went to bed a bit early, so as you can see, I got up a bit earlier than normal too. I don't know what else to tell you," Meredith said. They sat in silence for a couple of moments, and Meredith was certain that Ash was on the verge of falling asleep before she spoke up.

"Is that my shirt?" Ash was certain that it was her old Huskies soccer shirt from college. It fit Meredith perfectly, better than Ash ever thought that it had fit herself. Especially after college. Ash tried her best to keep herself in shape, but it wasn't the same whenever her entire life wasn't about being in top condition for her team. Still, Ash loved the way she looked, especially whenever Meredith got caught oogling her.

"I don't know. Amelia found it when we were cleaning out the closet, and it looked cozy," Meredith said. Ash knew that Meredith was well aware that it was hers. Meredith was just a little embarrassed. Ash didn't think there was anything to be embarrassed about, but she'd spare Meredith any humiliation that she could.

"Well, if it is, it looks much better on you than it ever did me," Ash complimented. Meredith blushed and tried to turn her head away from Ash. Ash let Meredith turn her cheek before leaning up to kiss it.

"Oh, I don't know about that. You could wear a plastic bag and everyone around you would swoon," Meredith said. This time, Ash was the one fighting the urge to hide as heat settled in her cheeks.

[j0elmill3r]

no outbreak au baby girl headcanons n thoughts!!

baby girl would absolutely take up sports after watching games of sarah being amazing and ruthless in soccer <3

despite being a no outbreak au i absolutely adore fics that have ellie as still joels daughter 🥹 so joel just being an absolute girl dad to three kids ... he doesn't drink caffeine, he IS the caffeine with all the energy he needs to be able to deal with 2 teenage kids and 1 toddler

ellie, sarah, and baby girl having girl nights and its just them having fun, eating junk food, and staying up late

i like to think sarah and ellie would share a room and baby girl is like... jealous because she calls it the 'big girl' room so she just vents to her stuffed animals that she wants to be big so she can share a room with ellie and sarah 😭

baby girl definitely picks up music!!

miller family beach day ft. uncle tommy and maria :)) sarah wants to play beach volleyball, ellie is begging joel for ice cream, baby girl wants to build sand castles and all three adults are given one kid assigned to care for

i absolutely ADORE your baby girl works

baby girl would absolutely take up sports after watching games of Sarah being amazing and ruthless in soccer

Oh, for sure. Joel always takes baby girl to Sarah's soccer games and you can bet that they're cheering the loudest for her. When she gets old enough, Joel puts her into those little kid soccer classes where their games aren't scored because hey, it's all about the participation, right? Sarah definitely plays soccer out in the backyard with her to get her some practice so she can show off at her baby classes (and let's just pretend that Sarah 100% doesn't let her win)

despite being a no outbreak au i absolutely adore fics that have ellie as still joels daughter 🥹 so joel just being an absolute girl dad to three kids ... he doesn't drink caffeine, he IS the caffeine with all the energy he needs to be able to deal with 2 teenage kids and 1 toddler

Joel definitely regrets being such a stallion now, Sarah being 14, Ellie being only a year behind her at 13, but baby girl being 3 at least gave him a bit of a gap. But, and a very big but, being a single dad to 3 girls? The man is smacked out his face on caffeine at every single point in the day, and the worst part? It's nothing to do with baby girl. Sarah and Ellie being at that stage with you know, periods and shit, poor Joel goes through it because baby girl's big sisters aren't gonna take their teenage hormonal rage out on their sweet baby sister.

Ellie, Sarah, and baby girl having girl nights, and its just them having fun, eating junk food and staying up late

As much as leaving baby girl alone on girls' nights fills Joel's heart with genuine fear and anxiety, he knows he needs to get out himself, so reluctantly leaves Sarah in charge. Baby girl feels like such a big girl when she gets to stay up past her bedtime and have a soda, it's not that Joel doesn't let her do those things, he just likes to let her have them as a treat. But she loves getting to stay up with her big sisters and hearing all their school gossip, even if she doesn't really understand what they're talking about.

I like to think Sarah and Ellie would share a room and baby girl is... jealous because she calls it the 'big girl' room so she just vents to the stuffed animals that she wants to be big so she can share a room with Ellie and Sarah 😭

There have been so many occasions where Joel's gone to the bathroom and heard baby girl fully ranting to the row of stuffed toys she has lined up on her bed. He's so confused because she always says she likes having her own room but now she apparently doesn't? Then he hears her mention Sarah and Ellie get to share a room and he realizes that she maybe feels a bit left out because the girls like to watch movies together sometimes. So he goes and asks the girls if they'd mind if baby girl came and slept in their room with them tonight, obviously, they don't mind, so baby girl is so happy she gets to spend time with her sisters.

baby girl definitely picks up music!!

Because she mostly spends her time with her dad, that also means she's around Joel when he decides to pick up the guitar for a while, and baby girl just watches him so intently, watching her dad's hands pluck at the strings. So Joel, noticing her fascination with the guitar, gets her one of those kids ones for her birthday and teaches her how to play a couple notes and slowly an easy song.

miller family beach day ft. uncle Tommy and maria :)) Sarah wants to play beach volleyball, Ellie is begging Joel for ice cream, baby girl wants to build sand castles and all three adults are given one kid assigned to care for.

Joel assigns himself to Ellie, Tommy to Sarah, and Maria to baby girl, since her choice of activity was the least exercise. Joel comes back from the store with a bucket and spades for her, Ellie is happy enough to sit with her ice cream and then go into the water with Joel for a while, baby girl being perfectly content to sit with Maria, who was sunbathing, and build her sandcastles.

[neragufetta]

Link click S1

This is an incomplete list (apparently I love lists) of details scattered throughout the 1st season (still working on the 2nd, my head needs some rest) which seems to be either: hints to a deeper truth; red herrings; mistakes; meaningless details not to be taken seriously (except, in time traveling story, messing with dates and times would be silly, it shouldn’t happen, right? RIGHT??)

Unfortunately, at the moment I am unable to collect screenshot of the episodes as reference, but if you request them I can produce the timestamp.

Episode 1

Emma’s mother sends her a message at 02:47 of the 15th April 2021. The phone states “Wednesday”. Too bad April 15th 2021 was a Thursday. Why, Why Wednesday. Is that a mistake? Was it meant to say that they live in a different timeline? Is it a hint that shows that Time is already broken?

I had my timeline all done and to simplify it, I was sure that: - 14th at 22:00 – 16apr!CXS dives in Emma - 15th at 10:00 – 17apr!CXS dives back in the present - 16th, before evening – QL states the mission - 16th at 22:00 – CXS dive in 14apr!Emma - 17th at 10:00 – CXS dives back and LG pass the info on the fraud to the client. - 17th, Later that day, the fraud makes into the daily news - 17th evening – Emma goes home, finds spring rolls and blankets, calls her mother, meet Liu Min - 18th at dawn, Emma dies. - 18th evening, LG see the news about her death until I realized that the consensus is that the news about the fraud came out on the 15th already, which would make sense with her not seeing CXS message before coming back home and her parent arriving straight away. But then, How could the news about the fraud reach the public before Shiguang were involved? Another time traveler? A mistake? Which timeline makes more sense? I’m not sure anymore. Is it important? Most probably.

Emma's wristwatch consistently marks times inconsistent with the timeline, which I will just tag as “random watch pics, do not read too much into it” and move on, but I feel I still need to acknowledge them.

Episode 2

Now, I have nothing much to say about this episode, except that it seems to be completely separated from the main plot, every episode is strongly affecting the whole story, why this one does not? They could delete it without affecting the overall plot and it weirds me out, probably because I’m a little bit too paranoid at this point.

Episode 3-4-5

Three major problems with these episodes:

Obviously, the glasses issue: at first I indeed thought it was weird, but then we saw Liu Min walking easily while possessed, so I thought that, somehow, the possessor retains its physical characteristics while diving. But then, episode 12 kindly reminded us of this glasses detail. So what’s going on here? Are physical abilities passed down while diving or not? And in that case, what’s happening, someone put lenses on Chen Xiao? The glasses were not his? Is there someone else possessing him?

Why is Chen Xiao the only one actively asking to change the past? Any other case has always been just about retrieving information.

And why does LG accept? Because I’m definitely not buying that the only crucial node is the actual earthquake. After the dive, Chen Xiao should feel less guilty about that day, and therefore he has no reason to look for the “Fairy” in the first place. Isn’t there a time paradox through and through?

Episode 6-7

Why the date on the Security Camera is 20XX/XX/XX 14:48:12 instead of an actual date? What’s the secret here? Was it meant to hint that time is already broken (again) or was this an easy way to stalling because the authors had yet decided the days of the trip?

IF we agreed that, while diving, past and present time flows at the same speed, the two dives in these episodes overlap in present time:

first dive starts on October 13th at 14:30 in the present and presumably on 20XX/XX/XX at 14:30 in the past, the kidnapping seems to have occurred at 14:55, both in the past and in the past. We can presume that this dive ends way before the 12 hours limit was reached.

second dive begins right before the kidnapping, which again I presume happened on 20XX/XX/XX at about 14:55, then CXS awakes and LG states that the 12 hours period is almost done; the dive ends on October 14th at 02:55, which seems to suggest that the second dive started on October 13th at 14:55 BUT at that time CXS was still inside the first dive.

What’s happening here?? Am I wrong? Is time wrong? My goodness

Episode 8

This one drives me nuts for really no reason, I’m not even sure if I’m correct, BUT on the dial of Dong Yi’s wristwatch watch you can read what appears to be a 15 inside the box where, as far as I know, the day of the month is usually shown. IF this assumption is correct, Dong Yi’s watch marks that it is the 15th, while XSS’s phone marks that is October 21st.

Again, Why? Just why are they messing with our head?

Episode 9

Nothing new on this episode but, if only, this episode proofs that diving doesn’t need to start at the exact time the picture or video was taken, because CXS’s dive occurs somewhere between the 10:00 and the 14:45 of October 21st, while the dive’s time seems to be late evening (from more that 2 hours prior 22.34). Does this solve the issue with episodes 6 and 7? Not sure.

Episode 10

I’ll use this episode to address the elephant in the room: the 10:10 ghost clock!

The photo studio seems to have at least 2 clocks, one on the hall, with a red frame, plus another one in the darkroom.

However, a third ghost clock with a white or blueish frame switches place with the other 2 every now and then. The red clock seems to be working fine, the darkroom clock seems that either it stopped or it is 10 minutes off, the ghost clock always marks 10:10.

WHAT is this clock?! Is this a random clock picture just to fill the scene? Is it a hint that something happened at 10:10?

I, I… I’m lost.

Episode 11

I won't address Lu Guang's thought at the end of this episode but I'll leave them for my season 2 analyses, because they fit there better.

Therefore, nothing much is left to say about this episode, except that the darkroom wall with the clock keeps changing aspect (and even the clock disappears at some point).

But, just for the sake of my mind I will tag this as “do not read too much into this one” and, again, move on with my life.

And this was just season 1, I have no idea how mad it’s going to be during season 2.

[slaviclore]

thanks to everyone who responded to last week's translation challenge (which you can see here, or under the cut below)! All your answers have been really fantastic and useful. 303 people voted, of which 119 are Polish speakers. I tallied up the votes from the Polish speakers (i changed your vote if u expressed regret in the tags after voting), and I summarize under the cut the various takes on this question and add my 2 cents (or possibly more like 2 dollars, as this is a Long Post). Read on to learn some things about the Polish language and Chopin history. :]

context again:

This is the opening sentence of a letter written by Fryderyk Chopin (who I'll refer to as FC for convenience) to his friend and/or boyfriend Tytus Woyciechowski (TW) in 1829. He's 19/20 years old (we're not sure about his DOB), and he's been spending some time with Prince Antoni Radziwiłł and his family at their palace in Antonin (near Poznań). Radziwiłł is a huge music nerd, and Chopin is having a great time over there. The mood of the letter is mostly positive and upbeat, and you can probably expect him to be at his cheekiest.

There are 3 published English translations of this letter, which I included as options in the poll. None of the 3 professional translators are native Polish speakers. They are: EL Voynich (option 1), David Frick (option 2), and Arthur Hedley (option 4). Option 3 is my own take on the translation (I am a native Polish speaker but not a professional translator).

why is this important?

1) it's an interesting grammar problem where the combination of a referred statement (FC is summarizing what TW said), a command, and a reflexive (się) makes it unclear who is to kiss who. Can we figure out what TW's original statement was based on how FC referred to it? Did he say some version of "kiss me", or "kiss yourself", or something else?

2) We have 22 letters from FC to TW, but we don't have any from TW to FC, so it's useful to piece together the way he may have written to him -- especially since we're not sure what their relationship actually was.

3) FC has a habit of teasing TW for not liking to be kissed, which historians have taken a bit too seriously, if you ask me -- this was some inside joke between the two of them. But if this short exchange was part of that joke, it gives us a chance to understand them a little better.

4) Arthur Hedley was a prominent Chopin scholar in the 20th century. His translations are the ones that are usually quoted to this day, and the choices he made in his translations and biographies have had a huge impact on the field. Some were good choices, and some were bad. Today, he's a controversial figure. I don't think he can be dismissed or blindly trusted, but rather critiqued point by point... we can take on one such point here.

The full original sentence from Chopin's November 14 1829 letter:

Ostatni twój list, w którym mi każesz się ucałować, odebrałem w Antoninie u Radziwiłła.

here's some definitions:

Ostatni twój list -- your last letter

w którym -- in which

każesz -- a command word in the second person present tense: you tell/you command

ucałować -- to kiss

mi -- me

się -- a reflexive to indicate the self, non-specific for gender or person (can be me, you, him her, etc)

odebrałem -- I received/I picked up; first person past tense

The main issues of this translation are:

the order of the 3 phrases (separated by 2 commas)

word choice, especially what to call the kiss

word order of the middle phrase, i.e., who is to kiss who

Several of you mentioned that this sentence is weird. Yeah. Sigh. Unfortunately, Chopin is very dead and has made that everyone's problem. No one specified why it's weird, but I guessed that it's the order of "mi" and the reflexive "się" in the middle phrase, so I asked you in a separate poll if another order would be better. 25 people voted on that one, of which just over half were Polish speakers. No one said that the sentence was weird for some other reason, which explains why the available translations could not agree on how to interpret the directionality of the commanded action (who is to kiss who). Voters were also split pretty evenly among those who preferred an alternative word order (especially "...w którym każesz mi się ucałować..."), and those who said that there's nothing wrong with the sentence or that changing it would change the intended meaning even if it does sound better. I therefore propose that we give Chopin the benefit of the doubt and assume that he said what he meant to say, even if it was awkward.

Some poll responders were not concerned about the kiss at all, and focused almost entirely on the order of the phrases in the sentence. They argued that starting the sentence with the "I received" fragment rather than the "Your last letter" fragment shifts the emphasis away from the location (Antonin), which is the main point of the sentence, and that the kiss is only a secondary point. Those who mentioned the kiss agreed that calling it anything but a kiss is not helpful, but the second most popular translation was the only one that replaced this word. Arthur Hedley's preservation of the sentence order, and maybe his dampening of the kiss subject, is likely what earned him second place -- 20 people voted for this translation (option 4), or 16.8% of the Polish-speaking voters.

--

Arthur Hedley, Selected Correspondence of Fryderyk Chopin (1962), pg 36:

Your last letter, in which you send me your warmest greetings, reached me at Radziwill's place at Antonin.

--

Kisses are thrown around left and right in Chopin's letters, regardless of who is writing or receiving them (friends, family, any informal context). While "ucałować" is literally "to kiss", Hedley's goal was probably to remove the ambiguity with which a kiss might be interpreted by an English-speaking audience and instead give you (the suspiciously British) "warmest greetings". This is something he did regularly in his translations and has made himself rather unpopular for it. Even if he is basically correct and the fundamental goal of the kiss is just to offer a warm greeting, replacing the word removes your ability to make the following 2 arguments, should you choose to do so:

Though a kiss is indeed a common greeting/sign-off, when FC refers to the **whole letter** as the one where you tell me to kiss you(/myself/send me a kiss), this creates emphasis not generally afforded to greetings and sign-offs. Presumably, TW wrote other stuff in that letter (if he literally only wrote "kiss me" and nothing else, holy shit i'd have fainted) -- but FC has relegated the rest of the letter as less important than the kiss, even if TW himself didn't give that bit a second thought. It's like if Harry wrote you a whole email with a bunch of stuff in it and signed off with "love, Harry", and then you wrote back, "Harry, i got your email where you say you love me". I'm not going to argue whether this is flirting or not, but I hope you see how it might be.

(watermelon sugar is playing as I write this, but u can have any harry u want in this simulation)

FC's emphasis may also be a reference to whatever inside joke these two seem to have that makes him insist (in other letters) that TW doesn't like to be kissed. So FC's intention may be the very troll-like: i got your letter where you tell me to kiss you(/send me a kiss) but i **thought** you don't like kisses?? interesting!!??

🤔🤔🤔

Either way, Hedley robs us of the TW eye-roll we deserve, so I think he blew it on this one, even if similar choices worked well in other contexts.

For me, the main difficulty in the translation was whether TW's original command was "kiss me/give me a kiss" or "kiss yourself/give yourself a kiss", with FC's rephrasing therefore being either "...to kiss you" or "...to kiss myself", respectively. So who gets this imaginary kiss? TW or FC? and which of them is supposed to give it? David Frick takes the most ruthless route to this answer (option 2), and 17 of you agreed with him, or 14.3% of the Polish-speaking voters, giving him 3rd place.

--

David Frick, Chopin's Polish Letters (2016), pg. 143:

I received your last letter, in which you tell me to give myself a kiss, in Antonin at Radziwiłł's.

--

Some of you said that this is the most grammatical choice -- while others brought up the very valid point that... why would anyone be told to kiss themselves? and how does one go about doing that?? Maybe Frick imagined TW's original command as something along the lines of: since I'm not there, give yourself a kiss for me.

I think this is a good take, even if FC made it weird and Frick refused to save him from his own grammar. In a stark contrast to Hedley's method, Frick tends to stay close to Chopin's wording and syntax. Though I do find some over-interpretation in Frick's translations and annotations, some of which I think is incorrect, his translations are very good, and I defer to his choices unless I have a good reason not to.

One poll responder brought up the alternative interpretation that actually TW's original statement was hostile. After I read Frick's translation, this did also cross my mind, and I imagined the exchange as something like this:

FC: kiss me

TW: oh ffs, kiss yourself

FC: i got the letter where you tell me to kiss myself

😔😔😔

hilarious. If TW really is as allergic to being kissed as FC insists, this interpretation is a viable option. Unfortunately for my personal amusement, I don't think he's really so allergic to it. Also, if this were the case, I would expect FC to emphasize "himself" with something like 'sam się ucałowac'. Here "sam" is a type of "self" you use to say you're doing it (by) yourself/oneself.

In this scene from Borat 2 (with which I have a conflicted emotional relationship that belongs in a different post, but I did laugh my ass off at this scene) Borat's daughter says, in reference to the monkey that was dead in the crate (in their fake language that mixes Hebrew, Slavic and Near and Middle Eastern languages), something like "sam się zjad" which is probably meant to be a Slavic "he ate himself", when it was clearly she who ate the monkey:

I think the commenter had something even harsher in mind for the interpretation of TW's letter, though, like where kiss yourself is a euphemism for fuck yourself. I don't know how people told each other to fuck off in 19th century Poland, but now I'm desperate to find out. Dearest Tytus, your last letter, in which you tell me to go fuck myself, I received in Antonin...

oh my lord this is sending me. I suspect this Bieber-esque usage is modern though, but I'm not sure! Either way, the rest of FC's letter is very affectionate so it doesn't seem super likely that he just got told to fuck off, unless he absolutely cannot take even a single hint

Since FC frequently signs off his letters with kiss me/give me a kiss, it's reasonable that TW might do the same. My translation was option 3, which keeps the structure of the sentence and assumes that FC's rewording is meant to say "kiss you/give you a kiss". This was the most popular option, with 68 votes or 57.1% of the Polish-speaking voters.

--

Me, tumblr, 2023:

Your last letter, in which you tell me to kiss you, I received in Antonin at Radziwiłł's.

--

I can't tell if Frick's "kiss myself" or my "kiss you" is the more grammatical interpretation -- if u have an answer for this from the depths of Polish grammar, I'd love to see it. But! I think it doesn't really matter! Since this is a personal letter, all we can safely assume is that FC is being rational, not necessarily that he's being fully grammatical.

On my first reading of the letter, I didn't consider Frick's "kiss myself" possibility at all. I just assumed it was "kiss you", and some of you echoed that sentiment. After I read the published translations, I ran the sentence through google translate (the least reliable of all our translators but still useful for comparisons), which agreed with me. As GT is trained on modern content, I was concerned my translation may be a modern artifact... which may also explain why many of you voted for it -- the professional translators may have simply known better.

I wondered if I could find historical precedent for this sentence structure being used to refer to the giver of the command (kiss TW) rather than the one being commanded (kiss FC). I found this in a prayer called "Litania o Milosci Bozej" or "Litany about God's Love". here is a fragment with the relevant grammar in bold:

Boże, któryś mnie sam wprzód umiłował, zmiłuj się nad nami.

Boże, który mi każesz się miłować, zmiłuj się nad nami.

My translation:

God, you who loved me first, have mercy on us.

God, you who commands me to love you, have mercy on us.

--

I haven't been in a church in a thousand years, so someone who goes to Polish church, pls tell me if I'm getting this wrong. Here, God commands the individual saying the prayer to love Him (not to "love yourself"). The grammar is the same as in FC's sentence. The last word is the specific verb (love for the prayer, kiss for Chopin), 'każesz' is 'you command/tell', 'mi' is 'me', and 'się' is the reflexive:

the prayer: który mi każesz się miłować

-- you who commands me to love you

chopin: w którym mi każesz się ucałować

-- in which you tell me to kiss you

I don't know how old this prayer is or how long it's used this specific wording, but I found a version of it from the early 20th century -- it might be a lot older. While this doesn't tell you what FC meant in his letter, it does offer precedent for the "kiss you" translation and argues that TW having asked for a kiss is, at least, a viable take that's not necessarily modern.

--

EL Voynich, Chopin's Letters (1931), pg 73:

I received your last letter, in which you send me a kiss, at Antonin, at the Radziwiłłs'.

--

Though it may not seem like it, Ethel Voynich's translation (option 1) actually comes to the same conclusion as Frick's -- Voynich was first by 80 years, tho, and the first person to translate Chopin's letters into English -- but she got the fewest votes: only 14, which is 11.8% of the Polish-speaking votes. Like Frick, Voynich switched the phrase order, which may have put some of you off. She also packaged her interpretation in a simpler way that may have felt false to poll responders. In her translation, like in Frick's, FC is the recipient of the kiss. It's just that, here, the kiss is sent to him, rather than administered by virtue of his own action, as Frick would have it. The same is true for Hedley, actually, where FC is the recipient of the greetings. Most of you, and I (and the robot), thought it was TW who should be getting the kiss instead.

One poll responder suggested a hybrid option, which agrees with my interpretation of the middle phrase but Hedley's choice to rename the kiss: "Your last letter, in which you tell me to send you greetings, reached me in Antonina".

So what do you think? Was TW's original statement something like "kiss me/give me a kiss", or more like "give yourself a kiss for me", or even "kiss yourself (hostile)"? Or did TW always intend FC to be the passive party in receiving the kiss or greeting? Was this flirting? Was it part of the "TW hates being kissed" inside joke? There's no right answer to these questions, and a consensus doesn't mean the winning answers are true. We will probably never know for sure what TW really wrote... the best we can do is guess.

Some of my takeaways:

it's useful to look at multiple translations to see where translators have disagreed and where the uncertainty lies

if you remove ambiguity in the translation of a Chopin letter (like Hedley did) or complexity (like Voynich), you're in danger of removing nuance, which Chopin stuffs into his writing like it's build-a-bear.

but if you go with the direct meaning (like Frick), you may end up trying to convince the world that Chopin was asked to kiss himself somehow for some reason

and if the only one who agrees with you is a robot, you'll probably have to dig up an ancient prayer to justify your possibly modernized take (like me).

This is the curse in a nutshell.

Thanks for reading! hope you had as much fun with this poll as i did

[dead--pegasus]

Steddie Fic Recs (Long fic edition, 100k+)

I have a special place in my heart for super long fics, I just love to sink into them for several days to a week so I definitely have more recs if this is something that people enjoy

paradise by the dashboard light. by oaseas (Teen+, 154k, Complete)

Things were weird in Hawkins. The fields were rotting, there was something in the woods, and Steve Harrington's Beemer had a new problem every week.

better by you, better than me by palmviolet (Mature, 200k+, In Progress)

November 1983. Between unpaid bills, the supposedly straight jock he’s seeing, and letters from his convict dad, seventeen year old Eddie Munson’s got enough to worry about. But when Will Byers goes missing, it sparks a chain of events that will show there are more depths to Hawkins — and to certain people in it, like infamous Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington — than he realizes. / or, the excessively long slow-burn in which Eddie is involved in the Upside Down from the very beginning.

METAMORPHOSES by fastcardotmp3 (Explicit, 161k, Complete)

“I can’t— I’m— not safe, not safe—” “You are safe,” Nancy says. She’s so certain, right there on the other side of the door with god knows who else listening to his breakdown— she’s so certain and she doesn’t understand— “You aren’t,” he implores, and he’s not crying but he is and he’s also not breathing, but that wouldn’t make sense because he’s definitely still alive. Eddie knows what it is to be dead now and he knows it doesn’t hurt damn near this much. In fact, being dead doesn’t hurt at all when it’s put up against the fucking torment of waking back up in a body that doesn’t belong to you anymore. -- Vecna asks Eddie to share his body with a being called Kas, but Eddie never gets much of a say in the matter. In the aftermath, it's hard to remember what having a say in the matter means.

I know I've kissed you before (Can I try again) by ChristinMKay (Explicit, 164k, Complete)

“Still not graduated, Harrington?”   It’s something Eddie would have said teasingly when they were teens. Steve would have smacked him on the shoulder, affectionately calling him an asshole before being pulled into an apologetic kiss. But they are not teenagers anymore and Eddie’s voice lacks any of the warmth that used to be reserved for Steve. Now, it’s just loaded with resentment, which, yeah, is a fair reaction.   “I…eh…work here now,” Steve says lamely and points at his office door. “Guidance counselor.”   or: 14 years after his first big heartbreak, Steve's life is relatively stable. It's been two years since the tragic incident that led to him becoming Dustin's guardian, both of them slowly healing. He is doing amazing at his job and his social life is great. Of course, that's when a person from Steve's past has to come and shake everything up.

wouldn't it be nice (if we could wake up) by kissesforcas (Explicit, 130k, Complete)

Steve finds his pulse. He carries Eddie out of the Upside Down, he keeps his heart beating until they get to the hospital. And then the government intervenes, that shady part of the government? With Sullivan? And he and Eddie wind up locked up, together, in a cell. There's one bed, and glass walls, and it turns out that he and Eddie? Might need each other more than either of them thought they might.

Money, Power, Glory by StrangerThings1975 (Explicit, 292k, Complete) Steve starts paying Eddie for sex once he discovers that Eddie doesn't just deal drugs and perform at the Hideout. (Steve doesn't mean to fall in love with him, but he can’t help himself.)

The Man That I Could Be by ohstars (Explicit, 325k, Complete)

"Steve Harrington isn't straight. It's been a few weeks since he sat on that bathroom floor at Starcourt with Robin, where she shared her biggest secret with him and unintentionally unlocked an entirely new side of Steve. Since he’s had to come to terms with being open to exploring that side of him, but he's finally acknowledged that he's most likely, definitely, without a doubt into guys." -- After coming to terms that he may be queer, Steve Harrington does a little exploration on his own and meets the one and only Eddie Munson. Just as things are going well and accepted the fact he's falling for Eddie in their own little bubble, Steve's world is shaken by a tragedy he can't quite talk about. And when the dust settles and he's nearly ready to put the pieces back together, his worlds collide when he realizes his Eddie is the same Eddie playing D&D with the kids. The same Eddie who's now wanted for murder thanks to another upside down monster. How will he save the day when he can barely focus watching his ex mingle with his monster fighting team?

[thefourchimes]

Talking more about The Four Chimes AU because yes

so there’s been an interesting surge of apocalypse four (though most people call them vecna four) content recently, which i am very much thrilled to see

in line with that, i’m gonna share a bit more on the au that has been built from the ground up ever since last year, having definite arcs and various aus and sub aus of it already

the four chimes au

this universe has been mine and @lumaxramblings 's blood, sweat, and tears for the past year, ever since July 14

i've made a few posts about it, and shared some snippets on it in some wip weds and weekends, but i never fully explained the universe beyond the little bubble of the discord thread in the discord server im in

so let me explain now. we know this already but the apocalypse four are vecna's four sacrifices to make the four gates, but in this au, they're not just the four sacrifices. they're the four chimes too.

you see, vecna had a vision. he had remembered the story of the four horsemen of the apocalypse from a time victor creel had brought him and alice to the Church to listen

the four horsemen of the apocalypse, he had mused...and inspiration struck him.

he had a vision, and he saw it through.

and he got them all. he won.

and now he has his four horsemen of the apocalypse, or in this universe rather...his four chimes of catastrophe.

you all know who they are, but the question is, who is who? well, as @lumaxramblings has said in that fateful ask that started this whole universe in the first place, it would be:

chrissy = famine

fred = death

patrick = war

max = pestilence

as for the reason, canon itself gives some details and evidence to point out who would be who. (tw ed mention on chrissy's part)

chrissy is famine because of her eating disorder and her "hunger" to be free in a sense. fred is death because of his survivor's guilt and all the constant grave and death visuals. patrick is war because of his home life and how he's always in constant conflict. and finally, max is pestilence because of her thought process on being something that plagues others...and vecna!lucas' "you are sick."

there's quite a few more points that can be brought up, along with how some of the canon scenes actually fuel this universe, but i'll talk about that another time

so now, vecna's sacrifices are no longer who they were before everything.

now, they are his soldiers, his little experiments, his four chimes of catastrophe.

and just as they had been broken, they will now be the ones to break the world.

...

(but then...you remember, the apocalypse 4 weren't the only ones who got caught in vecna's curse and vision.

you know who else did?

nancy wheeler.

and in the four horsemen of the apocalypse lore, wasn't there something going on with the white rider of the horsemen? the fact that...there's a bit of confusion on whether the white rider is pestilence...or conquest?

...in another universe, nancy is conquest, the fifth chime of catastrophe.

an incomplete chime.

...but maybe that's a story for another day...)

—————————————————————————————————

i actually had started the fic of this already, but it's been a few months since i've updated it, oof :")

anyway, that's a bit of an explanation on the four chimes au.

it kind of becomes a s5 alternate universe in a sense? finnthony and i already have an idea on what happens all throughout the main story, complete with arcs already lmao (and that's not even talking about the sub-aus, like the conquest au...)

its lots of angst though, lemme tell you

i dont want to reveal too much but there is a lot of platonic and romantic dynamics here

platonic being the party's friendship (heh), the teens' friendship, best friend soulmates stobin ofc, and all other platonic relationships that can be connected with each member of this ragtag, traumatized group

for romance, we got lumax (with future elumax), byler, duzie, ronance, stongyle (aka steve x jonathan x argyle), jopper, and...well. a few others too, but i'll be keeping those quiet for now.

i’ll likely post more stuff at some point, to get it out here lmao and because this au is just <3

tagging the people who’ve been here all through out:

@laurienotteddy @mitski-slope @itsanotheridiot @hellsfireclub @history-of-stories @she-wont-miss

[kapuchino357]

(this one got a little longer than expected, sorry about that)

but, wow, can you imagine being Steve

you work your whole life to get in The most prestigious magic coven known to witch kind. to be considered one of the best.

you have an itty bitty little brother to make proud.

you get in. it was hell to get in, you have to give up your palisman when you do, but you Get. In.

it feels good to be seen as a terrifying monster.

you somehow make actual friends with your boss, known no-nonsense ice queen Lilith Clawthorne.

(she allows far more nonsense than anyone realizes)

your boss deserts after revealing that she cursed her own sister.

(you have some feelings about that)

you get antagonized and bullied by the emperor's aide now that Lilith is gone.

the Golden Guard takes over as your acting Head Witch in Lilith's place, since we apparently have no time to find a different replacement.

the Golden Guard is a teenager.

(you gave him a ride on your motorcycle one time because it was his day off and he was so excited to spend it learning about how you made your motorcycle)(it was very cute)

you haven't really seen your little brother in years because of your job.

(he switched schools at some point? what was so wrong with Glandus?)

(last time you saw Mattholomule, he stole a valuable map from you, and you definitely got punished for it) (Adrian Graye Vernworth is a [REDACTED])

you get your lights punched out by a 14-year-old bard.

your teenage boss is trying to recruit fellow teenagers into one of the most grueling jobs you can imagine.

(you know because you're working it)

he doesn't think taking them away from their friends and families is a big deal.

you start questioning your life choices.

at some point you start seeing a shrink.

probably a little after Lilith left?

[you're still friends with Lilith, she invited you to celebrate her new job promotion! the Owl Lady's house demon was civil and didn't murder you because "Lulu" asked (all hail Lulu.)]

some things stop making sense and some other things start making sense.

you have not been the man you wanted to be.

you repeatedly get assigned to work with that bitch (forgive me gran gran) Adrian Graye Vernworth.

you get sent to forcefully brand the children in your little brother's school with mismatched coven sigils.

the kids kick your team's butts.

your little brother is there, kicking butt.

(this new school has been good for him. you're starting to understand what was wrong with Glandus)

your teenage boss is there, also kicking your team's butts. (go boss.)

you have not been the man you wanted to be. you can still change that.

you're going to quit your job.

you run into Lilith's furry little nephew outside of town, on the day you're planning to pack all your shit and bail.

he's going through his own crisis so, you figure you'll help him.

you take him on a road trip, it's very relaxing.

the entire way you can feel something following you, but you try not to focus on that.

finding yourself is tougher than it sounds, and he's just a little guy.

(the kid is a Titan. you took the Son of God on a road trip. you jot that down to have a crisis over for later.)

(you wish you could've helped the Golden Guard. you hope he's doing alright.)

Lilith and the Tube from Hell have been following you.

Lilith seems to be going through some things, so you offer to hook her up with your therapist.

the Tube from Hell attacks you for it.

[i saw a post talking about how Steve might've been working for the Rebellion already when he 'randomly' found King and took him for a road trip, but i don't believe that.

Steve spent the past week stewing in an existential crisis and figuring himself out, after that it was just rolling with the punches for him]

Lilith's sister calls her to meet in Latissa.

Lilith's sister is apparently allied with a rebellion now.

Lilith and her nephew ask you to join the rebellion.

how can you say no to them? you can't. them's the breaks.

you also want to help.

you give them a ride to Latissa to join the rebellion.

one third of the most celebrated witches of your time, your (former?) bosses, are there.

you recognize a couple of bards you may have been a bit more of an asshole to than necessary as well. (you hope they don't recognise you)

Lilith & King convince them to let you stay.

you get to help with planning.

it turns out the Day of Unity is actually going to be a Day of Painfully Lose Your Magic if You Have A Coven Sigil.

(you are very glad Matty didn't get branded during the Hexside raid.)

the plan is to put a sigil on the Owl Lady. (there's something ironic about that.)

the Owl Lady's kids get sent on a different mission for their safety. (you're glad to hear Hunter is with them.)

luckily your brand lets you do all types of magic, because they kinda need that now.

the plan goes okay all the way up until the Owl Lady gets found out and everything starts going South.

(you like how they don't seem to have had a backup plan (that's sarcasm))

The Day of Unity is upon you.

(oh, by the way, Lilith also turns into a horrifying bird monster now! fun!)

[c-cw-f-saeko]

Hi Miko!! 10, 14, 16 and 23 for Yua? ^^

hiiii ty @trixibebe for sending this !!!!!!

10. what kind of music do they enjoy?

yua really likes pop music, esp. the y2k-esque genre that is going around a lot these days, but anything bubbly is more than fine too. also, she's an avid fan of newjeans 🐰🤍 but if i had to boil it down, it would songs like these (ALL BANGERS):

chung ha - sparkling

illit - magnetic

newjeans - super shy

oh my girl - nonstop

but at the same time, yua enjoys alternative music as well such as:

this obsession - heo (UNDERRATED BANGER 😭)

14. an embarrassing secret about your OC?

struggles with sleeping by herself - it's not always possible for tesso to be around at night (bc work you know 🤩) and she literally lives outside of restaurant row so yeah. but sleeping with plushies help though.

16. how does your OC feel about their parents?

the thing is custody of yua was given to one of his uncles by her parents when she was young. so, it was kinda confusing for her to who to think as her actual parent.

though, younger, she was often resentful of her biological parents for giving up on looking after her in favour of her other siblings. as she grew up, and as it was reinforced by her uncle's sayings and behaviour, perhaps the life she was meant to have with her biological parents would be worse than the one she lived now.

by no means yua lived lavishly or even comfortably with her uncle, it was quite the opposite. tucked away in a corner of restaurant row with a known troublemaking drunk... that somehow always maintained the reputation of living by himself... yeah...

about tesso!! yua considers him the only real family she ever had and was kinda surprised at that he actually looked after her and answered the call when she mustered the guts to ask for help. despite his (uhm) less commendable profession, she still looks up to him on the basis that he honours what he stands for and wishes to do the same for people close to her when she grows up.

tbh she is like not bothered by the fact that tesso is in the liumang. to her, dad kills people like her uncle for a living and (while she would never admit it because that's probably wrong to think so) sees no problem with it. and it's not like tesso ever glamorized his job; he was just less and less vague as yua grew up, but made sure to not lie about it either.

23. what are your OC’s biggest flaws and biggest strengths?

biggest strengths she is affectionate and not afraid to show love to the people dear to her (even at the cost of being corny its okayyyyyy). like she will write letters for her friends on valentine's day and make chocolate 😭 and try hard to find good gifts at birthdays and such. yua is always super diligent in everything she attempts, even if she fails, she definitely gave it a fair shot. also, very polite and considerate of other people !!

[i wish i had a render for that naurrrrrrrrrrr 😭😭😭😭😭]

though, one of her biggest flaws is that she has bad separation anxiety. it used to be a lot worse when she was younger, to the point that it was a bit debilitating. though, going to seiryo (the school is further away in ijincho), moving out of restaurant row, and learning to stand on her own helped a lot. while some anxiety remains ambivalent, she can manage fine on her own most of the time.

however, another one is how she keeps a lot to herself. yua tends to have vasovagal syncope episodes because of anxiety and/or when encountering a trigger (mostly happens at school). though, she refuses to let the nurse or yagami tell tesso about it. it used to happen in the past, but got better shortly before she got enrolled in the school before coming back. yua doesn't them telling tesso because it would only make him worry more about her as she became aware of the immense work it had been to even enroll her at seiryo. [note that yagami talked her out of not saying anything and convinced her to tell tesso about it herself later...]

(shortly after it happened the first time. maika thinks kenya had something to do with yua collapsing suddenly. ofc he doesn't 😭😭 tbh maika just doesn't like his guts LOL )

[snarkivistfic]

Shipper Tag Game

Tagged by @heyholmesletsgo, thank you! :) I apologize that this took me literally forever to do!!!

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore? I think probably Alec Scutter/ Maurice Hall from Maurice but I wouldn’t say I don’t care about them anymore

2. Which ship would you consider your first one? I had to think about this really hard. I don’t remember if it was George and Susan San Francisco from Alien Nation or Maurice Hall and Alec Scutter from Maurice.  I loved both of these couples fiercely but especially the former I haven’t even thought of until I started thinking about this. 

3. Your first fanfic was about which couple? I didn’t ever write it down till much later

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw fanart of? I apologize to artists – I do not!!

5. Have you ever gotten into ship discourse? With my social anxiety? Heavens no.

6. Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently? I guess I do but I honestly don’t think about it too much. Like I don’t read those ships but honestly can’t be bothered to block any content because I don’t care that much.

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read? WeiLan from Guardian (Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan)

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs? SO MANY (can one have multiple One True Pairings?  Yes, yes you can).  ZiNing (Ouyang Zizhen /Wen Ning) is my absolute number one.  But I also passionately love ChuGuo, BigTay, ChanPol, XiYao, YaoYang (CLs Yao and Ouyang), ZhuiLing, and Qin Su/Bicao.

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together? Okay so this is a bit of a deep cut and I refuse to google the names of the characters lest it upset me again. I adore the actor Rupert Graves (Probably because he plays Alec Scutter) and he was in this movie called Dreaming of Joseph Lees.  His character has sooooo much chemistry with the female lead and they are so good together. But in the end she goes back to her horrible and cruel husband because he’s been injured or something I don’t remember.  I just remember I was sooooo mad and it still upsets me to think about it now.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting? I mean probably if you have a really wide definition of ship and it encompasses my whole life of imagining fictional characters together. But I can’t think of one right now.  

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, would've been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over? I can’t think of anything. 

12. What is your favorite crack ship? People consider YaoYang to be a crack ship but like I don’t think I could be so passionate about them if I thought that. I am not writing them as a pairing as a joke.  I think the first time I wrote them seriously (a fic called A Call to Arms) I started it as a joke and a way to play with unreliable characters. But I ended up sort of getting in their heads and now I love them so much. Because I think people in my life find me annoying and a little too much of a know-it-all (who is often wrong about things) so I kind of identify with CL Yao in a way.  So but yeah I guess technically this is my favourite crack ship?

13. What is the couple you read the most fanfics about? Honestly, I guess WangXian just because there are the MOST of them. 

14. What do most of your ships usually have in common? Hmmmm.  I think, and maybe this is in all ships?, that each of the characters sees something in the other that no one else can. Like maybe everyone else thinks they are annoying (lol YaoYang) or just a sweet sexless cinnamon roll (ZiNing), or for whatever reasons the characters don’t think they deserve love or that anyone could love them.  I think that’s the thing.

15. What you absolutely hate in a ship? This is hard for me to answer because the whole point of fiction is that you can like things that would be terrible in real life.  So a dynamic that would suck irl could be a great ship dynamic?  I guess I don’t have an answer.

Tagging @unfortunatelycake @jaggededges123 @justacoyote @linacies @zaelriel (no pressure at all! I won't be offended if you're not interested!) and whoever else would like to answer!

[quietninjakitty]

Okay, at the beginning of TTM, Rayla mentions that the new moon is only three days away. If the full moon was on July 14 (aka, the day before Callum's b-day), then what was the date at the beginning of the book? Because if it was very early July, then...

What if Rayla stayed up late thinking because it was her father's birthday? (For anyone reading this who doesn't know, it's July 2.)

When Runaan was doing the binding ritual (in May), he said that Thunder was killed "four full moons past", which I believe translates to four months ago. Which would make the attack on the Storm Spire in January. (I'm not entirely sure how the timing of that works, since they called it Winter's Turn, and it was still very cold, but that isn't the point of this post.) And it's canon that Zym was supposed to hatch the day of the attack.

Tiadrin's birthday is December 23. No matter how the timing of the attack works, it still would've been spent at the Storm Spire.

And we already know that communication between the Spire (and Dragonguard) and the Silvergrove is possible (see the post on the official TDP website for Rayla's birthday traditions.), so wouldn't Rayla have gotten some sort of notification that the Dragon Prince was close to being born and her parents would be coming home soon? And depending on how early that was sent, then they would've known that one of her parents' birthdays would be the first one they spent together. And I think it's reasonable to assume that it was something along the lines of "we might get home for Tiadrin's, but we'll definitely be there for Lain's".

And they would've gotten home for Lain's. Zym would've been hatched half a year before, and they would've been completely relieved of their duties by then. And despite the way things turned out, Rayla still knows what they were supposed to be doing during that summer and spring. What they were supposed to be doing on her dad's birthday, and later, hers.

And literally the only reason that they weren't is the man whose body had (extremely suspiciously) disappeared, sending all her assassin's training and common sense to one simple conclusion. That something was off and required further investigation.

Bodies don't just disappear.

[coulsonlives]

ATLA spoilers/Azula stuff. Kinda big mad now, why does this fandom suck so hard.

I posted something in the ATLA fandom for the first time and was super excited about participating. Then I was immediately grossed out by how much ship hate and toxic discourse there is oml.

The ship wars surrounding Zutara are bad enough, especially when I ship all the things. But on top of that, apparently if you think Azula can be redeemed (not in the sense of being forgiven, but more like coming to terms w her past actions and sorting out her very, very obvious baggage), or are even ambivalent to the idea, you're a fascist sympathizer?!

I don't even care what happens to Azula. but some people really gotta chill with the attacks and tbh, totally reductive takes?

For starters, Azula was literally groomed to become a child soldier by her father. It doesn't excuse her actions at all, but there are so many signs in the show to explain why she is like she is, and why her finding some kind of closure wouldn't be out of the blue. The whole point of her and Zuko's backstories were to show how things came to be how they were. The writers and animators didn't put that stuff there for no reason.

That look on her face when Ty Lee was speaking during the campfire scene, for example? She was obviously sympathetic to Ty Lee, but as soon as Ty Lee looked at her, she snubbed her! She wanted to care, but she didn't want to show it. World's most obvious 'tough guy' act, and how much do we wanna bet it was because her father didn't let her show weakness, and she was just more receptive to indulging it than Zuko was, for whatever psychological reasons? She came off like she was hard-wired for self-interest, which probably predisposed her to all of Ozai's bs. But I also see people calling Azula a psychopath, and I'm like bruh, did we watch the same show?! A psychopath would feel no emotions about hurting people, Azula clearly does feel stuff, even if she takes pride in her war-related work, which does involve hurting/killing people. She's not a psychopath by definition, plain and simple, calling her that is reductive af.

I don't even think 'psychopath' is the right term to use in general for people like that, so there lol. Credibility points -1.

Then she apologized to Ty Lee during the party. Her apology could've just been a way to keep Ty Lee on her side, but then she went a step further and openly admitted to being jealous of Ty Lee. What purpose did that serve in the initial apology? None! She just did it because reasons, it had no functional or tactical purpose. Her interactions with all the party people screamed that she wanted relationships, too, but she didn't know how to communicate, and it obviously bugged her. She was upset about it.

She's shown she cares for Zuko at many different times, for example, she finds out he's been visiting Iroh, but she doesn't tell anyone even though she should. She's 'looking out for him'.

She also had a total breakdown at the end of the show. Again does it excuse her actions? Nah fam, not at all. But her emotional turmoil was super obvious. She'd built up an identity around being strong and winning at all costs, and she lost it, and she never got closure with her mom, so she didn't have anything left and she just.. cried. That doesn't sound irredeemable to me, that sounds like a scared fucking person who is wondering why the f everything they're doing, which they've been told to do from day one, is falling apart.

She's a 14-y/o child soldier, and I'm not about to say child soldiers are all irredeemable (again in the context of finding self acceptance and closure) in spite of the horrors they've done and the brainwashing. She's also a product of her environment and her abusive father, of generational trauma, and I'm not about to say people who grew up in abusive households can never get better from all the harm that was done to em! I've seen some really shitty people totally turn over a new leaf.

One of the best quotes from the show is something Aang says: 'Roku was just as much Fire Nation as Sozin was, right? If anything, their story proves anyone's capable of great good and great evil.'

So I'm not buying the narrative that Azula is pure distilled evil and has nothing going for her, not with what the show has given us. Ozai had virtually no redeeming qualities, but there are so many hints with Azula that it really pisses me off to see so much garbo talk around her.

Anyways that's my complaining for today.

I really don't wanna go near this fandom. I don't know what the tags are for discourse/harassment free stuff, where people can just ship what they want, and want what they want, without being heckled or shit on. If anyone knows a tag or some blogs like that, hmu.

(Inb4 all the people without nuance interpret this as 'I support Azula's war crimes', who are the main reason I sure as f won't be letting this loose with reblogs. I guess people can still screenshot this and take bits out of context, but idgaf. Their problem not mine!)