#but I like the vibe of them so I'll keep some GIFs for memory

[notsooldmadcatlady]

Maiden, Mother, Crone

[muddyorbsblr]

a startling realization pt1

See my full list of works here!

Summary: Oakley returns to campus after a trip with his mates and steadily comes to realize he's developed feelings for you

Pairing: Oakley x Reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warning/s: frat boy friends vibes; bit of angst; probably not a completely accurate referencing to the events of 'Unrelated' [let me know if I missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: prequel piece to 'just another memory' but can be read alone; Oakley is a SIMP in the making for Reader

There'd been a strange sinking feeling in Oakley's stomach since he and his mates hit the road back to Cambridge. It was the kind that he'd only ever felt when he knew he'd done something that could get his mother cross at him and she and his father would impose some form of punishment on him. Perhaps revoke his cell phone for a week so he couldn't join his friends on their regular scheduled shenanigans. Or chat up some stunner that he'd met the week prior.

But things were different now. He was no longer bound by their rules for the most part. He was free to do whatever he wished and this trip to Italy was the perfect showcase of that new dynamic. All he had to do was get his degree and get a job, and he would still have their support and financial aid so that he wouldn't have to stay at the dorms or even have to tough it out with a roommate that might not approve of the way he lived day in day out.

The only person keeping him in check now was himself, and as far as he was concerned, there was nothing he'd done in Italy that he wouldn't have done in Cambridge. He had a bloody good time there, even, getting to engage in not just one but two flings, and one of them with an older woman.

And yet, when he thought back on every touch, every kiss, that he'd shared with either of the women, that pit in his stomach would form again. As if the activities he'd engaged in during his vacation were somehow the "wrong thing" that could make someone responsible for him cross.

But why?

"You're awfully quiet back there, mate. Which one of your lucky ladies is taking up space in that randy little brain o' yours, I reckon?" Eric teased, lightly tapping the curly blond's head as he plopped down on the seat next to him, jostling him out of his dwelling over why there was a pit in his stomach to begin with.

"I've no idea what you're on about, mate, I'm not thinking of anyone," he tried to brush it off, brows furrowing together when he tried to remember that night in the pool and the knots in his stomach worsened. Like the memories he made in Italy were not something he could look back at with fondness.

If he dwelled on it for even a second longer than necessary, it almost felt as if he was looking back on those memories with a touch of shame.

"Ah come on, Oaks, you tellin' everyone 'ere that you're not thinking about that stunner of a blonde Elizabetta? Even I'm thinking 'bout her and it wasn't my tongue down 'er throat." Eric crowded his space, squishing him to the side of the van. "Or even that cougar Anna, my lord, man that one was fawning and doting after you!"

As if right on cue, his mobile rang and vibrated violently in his pocket. Another call. He didn't need to even glance at the tiny device to know who it was. She'd been calling since just a few minutes after they'd all said their goodbyes.

That was over 24 hours ago. And he was well on his way back to campus, the scenery already began to elicit that feeling of 'home'. Or at least of familiarity.

"Speak o' the devil! Why don't you pick it up, Oaks? Be a grand old time hearing her pining after you again." His friend flailed into his side, dramatically placing the back of his hand on his brow. "'Oh Oakley how I miss you terribly, why don't I come visit you on Cambridge and we can live out any professor fantasies you might have in that virile young college brain? I'll even get the glasses and the pencil skirt just for you."

"Sod off," he grunted, trying to chuckle away the mental image. Another thing that was bothering him: Those fantasies that he'd had before they left for Italy a little over a month ago…none of them appealed to him now. "If you want, you take her number and live out those filthy little daydreams of yours, mate."

All that he could manage to think of at the moment was the melancholic knowledge that when he got back to his apartment, there would be no one there. He wasn't coming home to anyone. That didn't used to bother him before, but for some reason sitting in this van with all his mates and having to hear them be completely taken up with his own conquests in this trip made him feel as if he should be guilty and shameful somehow of the way he acted. The way he treated both the women that he encountered and found himself entangled with.

This is ridiculous, you're not looking for a wife, you batty little git, he hissed at himself, trying to supress the urge to let out a deep exhale. That would set off everyone in the van. Besides, you don't even know anyone that's even remotely wife material.

"Hey hey hey look alive, lads," Marcus, the one at the wheel, started to call out. His tone was brimming with wanton intent. "We are steadily approaching the dorms, and you know what comes after."

"Sorority row!" the rest of the van cheered, proceeding to make botched barking sounds, effectively drowning out the relentless ringing of Oakley's phone.

But the mention of the dorms finally had him sitting up straighter, realization dawning on him that he was wrong. He actually already knew someone who was so much more than "wife material". Someone brilliant and diligent that had a part of him driven to make the steps to be someone better.

Someone that he called his best friend. Better than anyone in the van with him tonight.

You.

"Marcus, could you drop me off here?" he called out, his stomach flipping at the sight of your familiar silhouette jogging to the front door of your dormitory.

His friends' remarks faded into a dull buzzing in the background as he got off the van, making his way over to you and staying still by your side while you did your step-ups at the bottom step of the stairs. It only took a few moments before you shifted your gaze at him, removing your earphones and hooking the cord behind your head before giving him a beaming grin.

"Goldie Long Legs!" you squealed, the exhilaration from your workout giving you an adorably flushed look, the slightest tinge of pink on your cheeks. "I didn't know you were coming back tonight."

"I was gonna give you a call when I woke up tomorrow, but then I saw you." He did his best not to pay too much attention to the strange somersaults his stomach was making the longer he stared at you. "Coffee?" He tried to keep his tone casual, despite the way his voice cracked on the last syllable, as if he was a nervous lad asking a girl out for the first time.

You answered a giggle that had his heart doing the most bizarre acrobatics in his chest. Why was he reacting to you like this? Was it simply the lack of a woman's presence the last two days as they made their way back, making this reaction more primal than anything else? Was it your exercise outfit and the way the fabric clung to the curves that were rarely ever out for him to take notice of before?

Was it something else? Something that was simply…uniquely…you?

"Coffee? At this hour?" you laughed off his offer. "All the coffee shops are closed by now, and you know how you get with caffeine, Goldie. If you have a sip, you won't know a peaceful night's sleep tonight."

"Oi! Lookin' good there, Y/L/N!" Eric hollered from the van. Oakley's skin bristled seeing how his friend leered over your figure. "Shame you didn't join us, Italy woulda been an even prettier sight with you around."

"Rather not add to the trail of broken hearts you lot left behind," you shot back flawlessly, sticking your tongue out at the boys in the van. "I know you lads well enough to know you didn't behave yourselves."

"Oaks over there's the worst offender of us all!" Eric pouted, pointing at the curly haired blond. "Two flings. At the same time. Shoulda seen him, Y/L/N, he was at the top of his game."

The playful smile on your face faltered for a fraction of a second before you recomposed yourself. That infinitesimal moment was more than enough for the pit in his stomach to make its presence felt once again. Now Oakley knew what it was, beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Shame. And the worry that knowing what he'd done back there would somehow taint your perception of him. When your gaze darted to him once again, he had to fight back the words that wanted to stumble clumsily out of his mouth. They meant nothing to me.

In the moment they were fascinating, and truthfully while he was in said moment, he thought about how things would go moving forward. If he would try to pursue anything with either of them, but ultimately the immediate answer was 'No'. Back then he didn't know quite yet the reason behind his mind's outright refusal, but now he did.

This dalliance was a mistake. I have someone so much better back at home and I've been a fool not to see it.

"Quite the juggling act, Goldie," you remarked, your tone more hushed than before. It felt as if you were putting distance between the two of you despite not having moved an inch. Like there was a wall he couldn't quite scale now just to get to you.

"One o' them even gave him a nice lil picture o' her. A breathtaking blonde called Elizabetta. Ohh man not even the finest girls in sorority row can compare."

Shut up, you little twat, he internally seethed, wanting nothing more than to throw whatever he could get his hands on at Eric's head so that he could just. Stop. Talking.

And then his mobile started ringing again. And your smile disappeared, your face looking as if it was struggling to decide how to reconfigure itself, your neck twitching with every shrill note of his ringtone. "That's probably that breathtaking blonde now," you said in an eerily chipper tone. "I won't keep you any longer, I'm sure you're tired from the trip. And you'd like to spend the night speaking with your new lady friend."

"Oh that's not even the blonde! That's the other one!" Dammit Eric, stop talking. "Older lady. Head over heels for him, she couldn't keep her hands off him every time they were in the room together. Told you, Y/L/N. Top of his game."

"Ohh so a lady lady friend. All worldly and whatnot…" Even your body language was throwing him off now, way too casual to fit how he himself felt in this moment. The feeling of wanting more than anything to explain. "Well then, I really don't want to keep you. I know better than to keep my elders waiting, you should, too."

The boys in the van started cheering and clapping over your remark, jokingly chanting "One of us! One of us!" as you gave them a curtsy, making a motion as if you were wearing a skirt rather than your black and hot pink leggings.

It was only when you were halfway up the steps to your dorm building that he managed to find his voice again. "Breakfast tomorrow? My treat?"

You only answered with another giggle. "Did you hit your head or something back in Italy? You don't do breakfast, Oakley. At most you do half a protein bar at first period. From my purse. I'll see you at lunch. I mean…if you're not too busy with your new lady friends or whatever."

He couldn't come up with an intelligible enough response, instead watching you walk into your building and shutting the door, wiping away at your face with your towel. All that he could do was walk back into the van, telling Marcus in a daze, "Drop me off at my place. I'm not in the mood for stop overs at sorority row."

Oakley wasn't in the mood for any more games. Any more women. Not tonight.

The next morning the first thing he did was call up his service provider to see about getting a number blocked, and then he grabbed his wallet, rummaging around in his desk drawer for a handful of photos to place in front of Elizabetta's. A group photo with his mates from their first class project in freshman year, a photo with his family. A photo of a stolen moment with you where you two were wielding chopsticks at each other in a playful "stand off" for a potsticker, and your graduation photo.

On a whim, he placed the potsticker one in the front, a fond smile stretching across his face as he traced his finger over your face in the picture. And then his alarm clock began to ring and the sound quickly filled his apartment, springing him into action to find the nearest clean outfit he had lying around.

He nearly broke a sweat with how fast he ran to your dorm building, hoping he'd catch you before you started walking toward wherever you'd decided to grab breakfast for this morning. Right as he was across the street from the front doors, you walked out, one earphone plugged in and the other dangling from the cord, undoubtedly mouthing along to whichever song was topping the chart this week.

"Y/N!" He internally winced at the hoarseness in his voice. He wasn't even running for that long; how was it that he was already heaving for air?

Your head snapped up to his direction at the sound of your name, shock registering on your face when your eyes met his. Followed by confusion, your brows adorably knitting together as you watched him jogging towards you as he crossed the street.

"What brings you to my neck of the woods at this hour, Goldie?" you greeted him with a smile, hooking the cord of your earphones behind your neck. "Have a breakfast date with one of the girls from my building? You must have it bad for this one if you're willing to wake up so early for--"

"Y/N, I'm…I'm not here for someone from your building," he cut you off, wiping his hands on his shorts before standing up straight, trying to get his heart to stop beating so bloody fast. "I asked you to breakfast last night, remember? My treat?"

His response had you visibly taken aback. "Oh…" The word came out more like a squeak, making you clear your throat. "I uhh…I thought you just offered that as a nicety. For catching up. We could've done lunch…or you know, coffee now that it's a reasonable hour."

"We could do that, too," he said in a rush, fighting against the strange instinctual urge to reach for your hand as the worry that you might wave him off and start walking away crossed his mind. "After breakfast?"

You shuffled your feet in place, slightly swaying back and forth. It was a motion he knew all too well from you, the one that told him you were trying to think something through, trying to find the reason and the rationality in something before deciding what to say or do next. Had it been any other day, any other circumstance, and had he not been grappling with finding his own sense of rationality in why there was suddenly this shift on how he was acting and reacting around you, he would have swayed with you.

After a few moments your mouth stretched into a half-smile, shrugging before tilting your head in the direction of a nearby cafe and bakery. "Alright then. Let's go."

Oakley couldn't help how his face broke out into a grin, a touch too eagerly falling into step with you, still fighting the urge to reach for your hand. To lace his fingers with yours.

"So tell me all about Italy," you started, looking up at him and squinting your eyes as the morning sun hit your features. "Start with the food because I want to know if handmade pasta--"

"We can talk about Italy later," he breathed out, finally losing the struggle to not reach for you and settling on lightly resting his hand just above the small of your back. "Tell me about what you've been up to the last six weeks."

He'd try and process what it meant later. That all he wanted to do was know how you'd spent your time apart. That he wanted to hear your stories rather than speak about his own. That much as it was an extraordinary experience to roam Italy with his mates, the only thing he could think of now was how it could have been even more beautiful if he perhaps…experienced it with you.

"Oh…" Your voice got smaller again, as if you were struggling yourself to find words. "Well truthfully they were quite boring. My sister visited campus to drag me to the shopping plaza to overhaul my wardrobe. She's quite literally holding my jumpers hostage and replaced them all with…well, things like these." You awkwardly motioned at the dress you were wearing, a frilly sage number with a bow. "I look ridiculous."

"You look beautiful," he blurted out, immediately biting the inside of his cheek when you snapped your head up to give him a questioning look. A new feeling flooded him. Something almost akin to…fear? His heart was still pounding and thrashing in his chest, his breathing thready like the air was too thin.

Like he was afraid that you'd look at him and see right through him. Right into his soul. His deepest, most secret thoughts. Thoughts he hadn't even dared to properly articulate with himself.

And if you saw them, if you saw him, you would walk away without a second thought. Those words that he was so used to wielding without completely meaning it when he was around other girls, he'd uttered to you with the weight of every unspoken thought he'd had of you since last night.

With every ounce of sincerity and honesty that felt so foreign for him to possess.

"Oh please, Goldie, you don't have to butter me up," you laughed off his compliment, waving it away with your hand like it was a little housefly flitting away by your face. "You don't have to lay it on--"

"I'm not." The words were flying out of him faster than his brain could filter them. "You're beautiful, Y/N. And it's not because your sister overhauled your wardrobe or you changed your hair. It's you." His heart caught in his throat seeing your eyes widen, the questions and the confusion in them mirroring his own. What was wrong with him today? "All of you."

You pursed your lips, already looking back in the opposite direction like you were second guessing agreeing to sharing a meal with him. Or maybe even sharing any form of time with him. He already wanted to hit himself for not keeping his mouth shut, he probably just flushed your entire friendship down the toilet all because he started acting the same way he did when he was in the first grade talking to the prettiest girl in class.

"Hmmm," you sounded through pursed lips, taking a deep breath before your features morphed into that all too composed smile that you gave him and his mates last night. "And here I thought all I had going for me was my winning personailty."

"That's just a part of it," he shot back, failing to fight the urge to touch his hand to your arm as you reached the cafe, helping you keep steady as you walked up the elevated platform leading to the door. Right as you walked past him when he opened the door for you, he caught a wisp of your perfume. The same one you'd worn every day since the day he met you, the scent of apples and mandarin blanketing him with a warmth that took him aback.

Memories of his weeks in Italy now bombarded him. How he would relish the apples that he had, breathing in the scent before taking a bite. How he brought an apple when he and the rest of the group visited a citrus grove, and how the combined smells reminded him of home.

Only his family home didn't smell like that at all. It smelled of tea plants and bergamot.

"Oakley?" Your voice broke through his memories. "You alright over there?"

He took in the sight of you, a single eyebrow raised looking like you were amused by his stupefied state, the corner of your mouth upturned in a little smirk. "Right as rain," he choked out, finding it hard to breathe properly with his heart beating so fast it might as well be The Flash on a treadmill. "Just not used to being up this early, is all."

You only wagged your finger at him, tsk'ing in response when he stepped up next to you at the counter. "Shouldn't have shocked your system with changing your routine like that, Goldie. You have to ease yourself into it, take baby steps. Otherwise you'll crash midday and end up taking a twenty-minute nap that quickly turns into four hours, miss a lecture, and then you'll have to rely on my notes. Again."

"Ah, you should know me better by now, Y/N. I'll need to rely on your notes even if I'm wide awake, I can never pay attention to those old windbags."

His words had you rolling your eyes to the ceiling, a devious smile playing at your lips. He couldn't take his eyes off you, every waking brain cell screaming at him to take your face in his hands and kiss you.

"And here I thought your time with your new worldly lady friend would have you respecting our elders a bit more," you quipped, laughing at him when all he could do in response was audibly choke on the air. "Maybe we can hack that debauched brain of yours. Pretend those old windbags are your older lady friend instead, or pretend one of the pretty girls in our lecture room is your breathtaking blonde Italian beauty. Maybe then you'll pay a bit more attention in class."

I won't, his mind protested. Why would I look anywhere else when you're right next to me?

"I really don't think so," he said softly, letting out a chuckle when all you did was shake your head at him, proceeding to order a bacon cheese waffle sandwich and the first of a handful of coffees you'd be drinking throughout the day. All the while Oakley watched you, a fond smile stretching across his face as he lost himself in the memory of the citrus grove again. The scent he was chasing the entire way to Italy and back.

Your scent.

Home

A/N: Sometime last year I made a lil note in my idea notebook to make a prequel piece to 'just another memory' and now here we are…and it's gonna be a 2-parter with a potential alternate ending because the lil gremlin horn dogs in my writer brain want a scenario where she chooses…well, y'know what, you'll know who it is soon enough 😈😈

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @tom-hlover @dryyoursaltyoceantears @herdetectivetheorist

[r0semultiverse]

Mr. 6 made you do a good show to be released?? 👀 um....

This is already giving serious eye vibes.

A whole show dedicated to public humiliation?

The Mr. Bonzo suit started moving??? 👀 Serious stranger vibes. 🤡

"It actually became a sort of ritual"

I've seen people being like "don't cross tag" but buddy... the writing cross tags itself here I mean c'mon! 😂 Something something ritual of the stranger- okay, I'll keep listening!

Hey, what's with the music?? Hey, who is Terrance Menki???👀

"The police said there were eleven bodies in total and his wardrobe was full of all sorts of homemade costumes." BRO IS ACTUALLY MAGNUSPOD WILLIAM AFTON-

"It certainly had a profound effect on the Mr. Bonzo brand." Oh I'm sure it did, holy fucking shit. 👀

Oh, me using this image is rather ironic now.

"In a lot of ways I’m more his prisoner now than I ever was on my show." WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? 👀

"The witness statements from three murders over the last five years that claim a person in a Mr. Bonzo costume was at the scene? Do you think there could be a copycat?" Has the fear of clowns manifested as an actual clown-guything?

"Don’t contact us again." "Us?" "Why am I still trapped dealing with all this this- Why won’t he let me go?! Why-" So Mr. Bonzo is absolutely a clown cryptid of sorts with some sort of hold over Nigel.

Oh no, Gwen's about to fuck around & find out, isn't she? 👀

Hey, is Colin still himself & is he supposed to be back?

Hmm, okay, I guess that's him (hopefully).

"Maybe don’t tell them I’ve been on their terminals. They’ll only get the wrong idea." "If Lena asks, I wasn’t here." Seems like everyone's got their own little secret investigations going on, fun! This can only go well! 🙃

One of the episodes absolutely no one shows up to work except Lena is there & is like "where the fuck did everyone go?"

"Time to get some new hires again I guess."

Let's go!! Ruin exploration gang!!

"Like, it’s Saturday night and I’m choosing to hang out in a hole with you. A wet hole. And not the good kind either."

Alice with the absolute best quotes. lmao

That sounds like something with giant wings like a bat or some sort of cloth flapping in the wind. Let's hope it's the latter!

Oh a rusty old filing cabinet! Wait tetanus- 😭

"That carved floor in the big atrium – I don’t know what’s going on with that." Ah so we're just gonna breeze past that then. 😶

These are probably the remnants of old avatar creation test areas like mentioned in the Gerry & Gertrude episode. I'm just assuming here.

A key? Big find! Let's go!

AS I WAS SAYING-

Gwen, it was nice knowing you. 🫡

"Now get out of his house."

Archivist! 👁👄👁

"symbols of ancient otherworldly power"

Wait could this be a timeline where this universe's Jane Prentiss actually did manage to invade the building & succeed? I'm thinking out loud.

21:10 that sounds like critters, insects specifically 👀

"I have memories of weird stuff I saw here, but no context. I want to know what was happening, why they chose us… why they didn’t choose me. Maybe find the bit where everything started to go wrong." I am so captivated & intrigued please recount said memories to us- I mean Alice so we can learn more. Please. 👀

EXCUSE ME, WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT?!? WHO IS "[ERROR]?"

WHY DO THEY SOUND DISTORTED AS FUCK?? ARE THEY FROM THE PRIME TIMELINE OR IS THIS A NEW THING?

ARE WE GAZING OUR EYES UPON A WRETCHED THING FROM THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES?!

edit:

Is Lucia Wright an avatar of The Flesh now (in this universe or from the original timeline somehow)? Because it sure fucking sounds like it! 👀 Well, at least that key was put to good use! 😂

Also, supposedly Mr. Bonzo is a reference to Mr. Blobby.

Gwen, I'd be quaking in my boots too. That thing is terrifying!

Late observation but this universe & story seems to focus a lot on the cryptids & I like the direction it's going in! Loving this plot of cryptid hunters, childhood avatar experiments, a strange institute where our main character has past trauma, & just all of it is so good! 💜

Amazing episode, 10/10, I was at the edge of my seat the entire time! 💜 That Bonzo scene & the sound design were absolutely horrifying, thank you! The ending too! 🔥

[bumblesimagines]

“shit, i wasn’t supposed to enjoy that as much as i did.”

“that was better than i thought it would be.”

- Hope Mikaelson

“shit, i wasn’t supposed to enjoy that as much as i did.”

“that was better than i thought it would be.”

pronouns: he/him, male

To be honest, you weren't completely sure who had been the one to convince you to join the godforsaken musical. Between Josie's puppy eyes, Landon's pleading, and Kaleb's constant boasting of his role as Damon Salvatore, your memory had become fuzzy as to who exactly you finally agreed to. But there you were, script in hand and other students getting your sizes to fit you into the role of Stefan Salvatore.

"You look like you're having the time of your life." You glanced over your shoulder at the redhead, only heaving a sigh to her sarcasm. The ends of her pink-tinted lips twitched upward and she folded her arms over her chest as she ran her eyes over the leather jacket you sported.

"I don't want to hear a word about it."

Tossing her hands in the air, she giggled under her breath. "You got it, boss. I'll keep my mouth shut about this whole... bad boy vibe thing you've got going on."

"Why don't you make yourself useful and help me with these lines? I need to memorize them by tomorrow night or I fear Landon will smother me in my sleep." You offered the script to her and she took it, skimming the page and shrugging casually.

Hope proved to be a rather shitty helper with her monotone reading and her quips about the dialogue and songs. She refused to sing anything, not even amusing you with just a few words, but she continued the task of reading the lines of the other characters until she abruptly stopped.

"You, uh..." Her brows twitched downward. "You're going to kiss Josie?"

"Yeah, she plays Elena Gilbert. Elena's whole thing is having a love triangle between Stefan and Damon, so we obviously have to kiss at some point." You shrugged and the redhead grimaced. "We don't have to kiss, you know. Just read what's next."

"That's not-" Hope cut herself off and cleared her throat, brushing her hair over her shoulder and pressing her lips together. "It's fine, I.. I don't mind." She admitted quietly.

"Oh.. Uhm, okay." The thought of kissing Hope had never crossed your mind before. She'd always seemed untouchable, even after a friendship blossomed between you and her. But there she stood, looking oddly nervous and hesitant.

"We really don't have to, Hope. It's just a kiss. I doubt it'll be anything other than a-" Hope stepped foward, one hand cupping the back of your head while the other one tightly clutched the script. She kissed you, full of shyness and meekness not common to the almost-tribrid. It took you a moment to process Hope Mikaelson of all people was kissing you before you reacted, hands coming to a rest on her waist. She pulled back a few seconds later, face flushed and eyes downcast.

“That was better than I thought it would be.” You murmured half-teasingly half-dazed and Hope released a soft grunt, rolling her eyes at your words.

"(Y/N)! Could you come here? I need to talk to you about a line." Landon called from his spot beside Josie, barely glancing up at you and his ex. You nodded toward Landon and Hope forced a smile, watching you part away from her to approach her two friends. The smile dropped and she lifted a hand to her forehead, touching her warm skin.

Breathlessly, she murmured, “Shit, I wasn’t supposed to enjoy that as much as I did.”

[meimi-haneoka]

Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 79: Comments + JP-ENG translation differences

Welcome back to our monthly appointment, CCS fans! This chapter comes right after this month's full moon, the Hunter Moon! (lol yes I will feature the name of the relative full moon till the end of the story). And speaking of the end of the story, I will start this analysis and translation post from the end of the chapter, where I found the confirmation to the rumour that had been going on for hours before the official release on Comic Days:

yes, dear readers, this is not a drill, Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Arc will end with chapter 80, after 7 years of serialization! 🎉✨ When *the last chapter* is announced, there's no turning back! No more sudden announcements of extensions! 🥹 But at the moment of writing this post, no mentions have been given about any "epilogue" or extra chapters that might be serialized in the upcoming months leading to the big release of volume 16 on April 1st!

On the translation side, I have to sigh in relief because no major misunderstandings happened in the ENG version, just some minor inaccuracies! I was kinda scared because this chapter is pretty important and complex in itself.

And let me say that what happened in this chapter 79 definitely marks the end of the climax, so I can totally see it ending in next chapter. The chapter tackled some very important thematics regarding the presence of "evil" in this series, that I will talk about extensively in my analysis.

The announcement today made me already a bit nostalgic and sad, but I want to strive hard to accompany myself and all of you towards the end of this arc with excitement and a smile, therefore I won't let myself be prey of the sadness yet and introduce you immediately to the gif of this month, because there's a lot we need to talk about and analyze and we can't waste time!!

This is entirely dedicated to our protagonist and heroine Sakura-chan, because damn, she really slayed this chapter!!! Under the cut to see what miracles she made happen!

The Color Page

My dear readers, after years of countless pleas on my social media, after being let down month after month, CLAMP FINALLY GRANTED ME A COLOR PAGE SOLELY DEDICATED TO KAITO AND AKIHO TOGETHER ON THE SECOND-TO-LAST CHAPTER!! Yaaaay!! Excuse me while I celebrate this event here in my little corner, especially after having a rough month! 🎉🎉🎉 I hope my followers thought of me when they saw it? Like "finally she'll stop asking for it" (breaking news, I'll keep asking for more even after the series is over) 😂 It took them 79 chapters to do so and honestly I'm laughing because....yes, I admit it, I expected another vibe for such an important color page coming after such an important emotional scene in chapter 78, but honestly the first thing I thought when I saw it was "....they had to wait 79 chapters for this? 😧" 😂because it's very very "regular", I think it would've been ok for this to come out long ago. LOL I'm being brutally honest here, I hope no one gets offended, especially because that pet peeve aside, OF COURSE I love this precious color page to bits, and I know under its "normalcy", its got a very important meaning to the both of them.

Akiho and Kaito are depicted together clearly during one of their travels....but the question is, is this from the past? Or the near future? I'd daresay they look the same age they are now, so this might probably be a foreshadowing for the future...? They'll keep travelling the world? But seeing the content of the chapter, this might also be just a call-back to their memories together and everything that they experienced during those travels, tightening their bond. Travelling the world is, after all, really their thing, their element. I really like Kaito's expression, with his usual smile that almost turns into a smirk, he gives off a vibe of being finally free to express his emotions. He looks carefree, and that's really something for him. Akiho, on the other hand, is always so much more expressive than him and you can literally feel the joy and excitement emanating from her delighted expression. Travelling with him makes her happy, so yes, should this be what awaits them in the finale, it's fine by me as long as they're happy (I'm rooting for the other option though, the "stay in Tomoeda with your newfound support network" route).

But as you know, I always have to analyze the color pages a bit deeper, especially when they're about these two. And since I had to keep myself distracted, I made a bit of research. Other than the "travelling" vibe, this illustration gives off also kind of a "vintage" vibe (which is another strong element to Akiho and Kaito). It seems Akiho is dressed in a sleeveless coat with cape and wearing a bonnet fully inspired by those worn by children in the second half of the 1800s, in the Victorian era.

(pic courtesy of Etsy) This is a model from 1896, for example. When I pinpointed the period, I immediately thought "uh, the Victorian era is also the period when Alice in Wonderland came out", although that was more towards the 1860s. I found it really interesting and a nice touch for this illustration with a retro flavor (the suitcase and purse also look kinda vintage).

But another thing that immediately caught my eyes were those cute birds landing on Kaito's shoulder and Akiho's bonnet. I immediately tried to look what kind of birds they are, and it seems like they could really be eastern bluebirds, typical of North America. Searching further, I found out that in several cultures bluebirds are harbinger of happiness and symbols of hope. I couldn't honestly have thought for a more fitting symbolism, for these two. Especially cause birds often are associated with an imagery of freedom, and this is something else that these two need, after being hunted by evil people for so long. They really do look free, in this color page. Also, the presence of the birds in this color page immediately brought me back to the color page of chapter 62, where we can see baby Kaito in a wintery setting, sitting on a lamppost, extending his little hand to a swallow coming to him. Swallows are a symbol of hope and bring a message of "spring is coming", and continuing from that message of hope, of "spring is coming for you too", we can finally see here in chapter 79 our Kaito with his true happiness, symbolized literally by the birds most associated with happiness. Another thing that caught my eyes is of course the lily depicted on the cover of the book Akiho is holding, a nice callback to Akiho's mother and Kaito's torment, Lilie. She's always going to be with them ❤️

The Japanese editorial text over the picture is an excerpt of what Momo was musing to herself in chapter 39, while imagining to talk to Kaito: "You traveled with her, and spent time together with her". I think CLAMP chose to feature this line to indicate an important thing that will be restored at the end of this chapter.

Everyone Is Doing Their Best

The chapter starts with a panel showing some light coming off Yukito's house, and we find out that even Touya fainted, exhausted by the effort to keep time stopped as much as possible. Ruby Moon is cradling his head on her lap trying to assist him and "recharge" his magical power, in hope to be able to maintain time "stopped" a bit more. In fact, if you notice, the "black covering" that symbolizes the time-stopping spell isn't completely destroyed yet, but only riddled with "holes", an indication that the spell is still somehow active, even if feebly. I imagine this might "slow down" the attacks, which are still coming but probably not at full speed like they would if the spell came undone completely. I have to point out immediately a mild inaccuracy in the ENG version, that I want to specify in order to dispel extreme theories before they're born: no, Ruby Moon didn't give up all of her powers to Touya, the verb used here is simply 補える, "can replenish (your magic)", not "give all".

Touya doesn't lose his sense of humor even in a dire situation like this, and comments sarcastically "What are you, a battery?", a clear recall to the whole "batteries" matter that came out in the un-rewritten world. Touya isn't supposed to remember about that, and he probably doesn't, but this is just a way from CLAMP to show that even in a situation where memories have been rewritten, some things will be unconsciously said again, because they're just meant to happen.

Ruby Moon calls for assistance from her "brother" Spinel Sun (love how even in these true forms, she still calls him "Suppy"), whom rejects the appellative of "battery" but agrees to give her a hand with "recharging" Touya to keep the spell up a bit longer. Everyone looks outside, only one thought in their minds, which is voiced clearly by a serious Tomoyo: "Sakura and everyone else are fighting with all they've got". I have to point out a typo here in the Japanese version (nothing serious, it can happen and will be surely fixed in the tankobon version): Tomoyo calls Sakura "Sakura-san". I loved the "sparkles" around Tomoyo's eyes, as if indicating that her extraordinary intuition is "at work" and just telling her that, even if they can't see them because they're quite far away, Sakura and the others are doing whatever they can to stop these attacks. And the fact they can see the attacks, but not their friends and their condition, must be really hard to witness, for all of them. But no worries, there's Touya nii-chan who's always ready to lighten the mood even in this challenging situation, joking that "If they don't get back before the curfew, they won't be getting their snacks tomorrow!". Here the ENG adds "squirt" to make Touya refer specifically to Sakura, but truth to be told, in the JP there's no subject, so he might be referring to everyone. It's amazing how he's able to keep his spirit up and be sarcastic even in this situation....he really believes in his little sister so much!

I'll Make Them Forget About You

Back where our heroes are, the attacks keep coming relentlessly, countered by Syaoran, Yue and Kero in tandem. Sakura reflects on the fact that the only transparent Cards she's got left are these two she's holding in her hands (Time and Rewind) and Flight. This statement leads me to believe that when Record transformed into that crystal that entered her, that meant that the Card completed its duty and disappeared inside of her. But Sakura isn't worried at all, because she knows that she can create more Cards. Yessss, this development that I've been anticipating since quite some time is finally here! ✨🎉 Sakura seems to finally have a concrete plan, but before proceeding, she needs to ascertain something. She asks directly to Kaito: "The people who are using these spells were trying to hurt you, right?". Kaito, with a pensive face, answers affirmatively.

But it's when Sakura asks again "Were they trying to hurt Akiho too?" that his expression turns really painful, the background after him portraying well his raging emotions and, while Mokona-sensei chose to leave Akiho hidden by Kaito's black wings in the previous panels, now she finally shows how both she and Kaito are holding onto eachother, while our boy answers with a "...Yes" dripping with sorrow. It really squeezed my heart with pain, this scene. Because as long as Sakura was asking about him, his expression was pensive but almost as if it's something he's used to, that didn't shake him too much. But when Sakura mentions Akiho, god, that wrecked him. Any mention, any reminescence of what those bastards did to her and how they were chasing after her to put their filthy hands on her again wrecks him even now, and it's like Mokona with her visual skills is showing how Kaito seems to be holding Akiho a little bit tighter, while he answers Sakura's question. I also have to point out something that I had noticed already from last chapter, but a panel tricked me into believing I was just seeing things: CLAMP here use a dark screentone for Kaito's eyes, that he never had before (actually, no other character in CCS got this effect in their eyes). This effect will be used on him for the entire chapter.

And it seems like it's the very same screentone that was used for the dragon. I think this might be an indication that the wings aren't the only reminescence of his dragon appearance!

Sakura shows once again an incredible empathy that allows her to go right to the heart of the issue without investigating much. If Kaito rewrote an entire world, and if it's true that Akiho in the previous world didn't have all the love and familiar support she's got now, it means that she was probably in danger too. And seeing as these people are attacking them now because they freed Kaito from his "punishment", Sakura doesn't really need much to make 2+2 and understand the situation. Sakura believes in Akiho, therefore she believes in Kaito too, and knows that if he came to this point it's because they were in a desperate and dangerous situation.

Showing an incredible insight, Sakura shocks both Kaito and Akiho by asking:

Sakura, JP: "In that case, can I make those people forget about you both?"

Because our girl needs to make sure that the plan she came up with won't have any undesired consequences. But most importantly, she needs to have their consent. She reiterates this once again, actually she will make sure to ask Kaito and Akiho's consent 3 times in total. She says: JP, lit. "If going back to before the world was rewritten will put you through hardships once again, then, can I just make them forget?" Kaito is even more shocked, because he finally understands Sakura's intent. A generous, selfless intent born from a loving heart. Our girl wants to make sure that these two will be safe and sound once she fixes this situation. She can't take risks, because their happiness is all she's really caring for right now. And in his shocked expression, I can also see some kind of "omg YES, PLEASE" vibe. Because probably, having those terrible people forgetting all about them is everything he ever wished, but couldn't achieve. And I think it's really funny how we berated Kaito so much in the past chapters for making Akiho and the others forget facts that happened before and forgetting about him, but here Sakura just takes "inspiration" from him and actually decides to use that same "trick" in the right way. Because it's not fair that it should be them, the abused people, to forget about their most important person, in order to achieve a happy life for at least one of them. It isn't fair and it isn't right that Kaito was driven into making all the mess that he made, pushed by desperation. The abusers, that clan and Association of magicians, should be the ones forgetting.

But this is Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card's finale, and Sakura definitely hasn't finished with being amazing yet, she actually just started. Her very strong power at this point allows her not only to see things that were difficult before, but also to connect the dots more easily thanks to that renowned instinct that I've always talked to you about, and that she learned to finally listen to.

As if she were seeing through him with X-rays, she confidently affirms that there's a book inside of him, a white book where you can inscribe magic on. And she also knows that that same book was inside Akiho, once. I guess this might be even coming from past memories of the unrewritten world (do you remember when, before the play started, Sakura said that she could feel something inside Akiho?). Akiho of course is shocked to hear that, and from her expression you can almost feel the chill that went down her spine in that moment. Sakura affirms that this book knows both Akiho and Kaito (thanks to the fact that it was inside both of them - something that I've always found painfully heartbreaking but also quite moving, for my ship), and it's got a very strong power inside of it. These will be two crucial things for Sakura's plan. In fact, our heroine is hellbent in attempting something pretty arduous: utilizing that artifact's power to create a new Card. For impartiality, I have to point out that the ENG added (completely on their whim) a "you, her special person" that isn't there in the JP version! Of course it's all the better for me, since they repeat (finally with the right adjective) that Kaito is Akiho's special person, but it's kinda funny that they messed it up so much in the previous chapters, and now they're adding it where there isn't any mention of it!

Sakura will be using a tool that knows the both of them, therefore she is sure that her plan will succeed, because the Card will know what it will need to erase. Sakura asks for Kaito and Akiho's agreement one last time. After hearing how those people wanted to hurt them both and even implanted the same magical artifact inside of her, Akiho is quite resolute and doesn't have any doubt: on with the wiping off! It doesn't matter who those people are, they've tried to harm her most important person and her too, so she doesn't really seem to give a damn about proceeding with this plan. Kaito, on the other hand, seems to be giving a more lackluster affirmative reply, but it's not that he's uncertain: he's just still riddled with guilt for all the mess that he's done, and he's probably realizing that now Sakura will need to put herself on the line in order to fix this and protect both of them, hence his sad face.

Still surfing the confidence wave, Sakura guesses that once those people have forgotten about Akiho and Kaito, then the magic arrows will stop too, and Kaito confirms that: forgetting about the person who had the Seal of D enforced on him will be equal to "undo" both the activation of the Seal itself (when Kaito removed the book from Akiho) and also the rescission of it (what Sakura did when she freed Kaito from the cage). This will therefore stop the arrows too, because the Seal wouldn't have been triggered in the first place. However, Kaito warns her that, although time is still barely "stopped" (because the time-stopping spell is still weakly on), it's necessary an enormous amount of power in order to do what Sakura wants to do. I have to point out another inaccuracy in the ENG translation in this part, which makes Kaito say "before things could get worse" and I have the feeling they misunderstood the word 辛うじて, "barely" or "narrowly", which is also written with the kanji of 辛い, "hard" or "tough". So Kaito isn't saying "before things could get worse" but actually meaning "although time is barely stopped".

Sakura doesn't seem to be scared by Kaito's warning, and activates her wand without a second thought, and immediately we can see that her task wil NOT be easy, as she can feel the strain almost right away.

Here we go with another inaccuracy of the ENG translation:

Sakura, ENG: "Great book, please show yourself! My power alone won't be enough...!" Sakura, JP: "The book....doesn't want to come out. (it's too difficult to pull it out) with just my power..."

Basically, Sakura isn't begging the book to "show itself", she's actually actively trying to pull it out of Kaito, and she's aware that it's opposing a lot of resistance, and her power alone isn't enough to take this damn book out. Sakura refuses to give up, because everyone else is doing their best too. Yes, everyone else.

And that's when CLAMP decided to bring us a big surprise for this finale.

A pair of hands seem to be appearing next to Sakura's, as if a spirit is hugging her from behind. We can see the famous fan that we learned to recognize so well ever since her first appearance in Movie 1. Sakura feels immediately the same magical power of Syaoran surrounding her, and with her instinct she finally recognizes her: it's Syaoran's mother, YELAN!!! We can see her, sweating and all, in her sacred chinese pavilion, lending her power to help in this difficult task.

What a great, welcome surprise for this finale!! You might have heard me saying on Twitter that Clear Card is really a celebration of motherhood, with this constant presence of mothers and mother figures who try to help these kids growing up without removing their right to choose for themselves. And since Yelan is the only mother figure who can concretely help Sakura in this moment, with her immense power, I really loved to see how this woman didn't hesitate to assist her future daugher in law. For any SyaoSaku fan, this scene here is a huge thing. We have seen in the anime how Yelan doted on Sakura ever since she met her in Movie 1, even before her own son realized his feelings for this girl. Yelan and Sakura haven't met in the manga yet (and hello, CLAMP, now this is a good chance for letting that happen, after the madness is over), but the woman didn't hesitate a moment to lend her power. I can really imagine how along these two will get, in the future. ❤️

Sakura thanks her aloud, while her eyes show that she's really really tired. Yelan's assistance is finally effective in summoning the artifact book out of Kaito, and we see again those countless book pages that we saw both when Akiho used to go "berserk", and also in the most heartbreaking scene of chapter 70. Kaito, still holding onto a worried Akiho, seems to suffer physically from this removal, and I can't understand if it's because removing something magical from inside is naturally painful (we've been shown something like that before, Syaoran crouching to the ground in pain while the Sakura Cards were being removed from inside of him) OR if the removal of the artifact also triggered his poor health conditions in which we left him, before he disappeared in chapter 70.

Sakura tries with all she's got and finally manages to turn the artifact into its "true form": a book filled with countless of spells written in strange magic runes.

You have spotted it, right? ☝️ I haven't seen many fandom reactions yet, but I guess this "cameo" made more than one person scream: it's Fay D. Fluorite's tattoo, yes! This page of the "book" is probably describing the procedure to cast that tattoo (which was also a kind of "seal", if I remember correctly). So that spells exists in this CCS world too! 😅 The magic Sakura is weaving starts "working" on the book, literally removing the spells from its pages and turning them back to their original form of magical books (remember that the Squids used to say that they would inscribe "magic books" and their power onto Akiho?).

Then, solemnly, we hear probably for the last time ever the magical incantation that accompanied us in the beginning of the story, used by Sakura to secure the strange manifestations of power into a transparent Card:

ENG: "Force without master, heed the call of my Staff of Dreams and become my power! SECURE!"

The countless of books and all this tremendous amount of power get secured into the birth of a new Card: BLANK!!!

Blank got the human appearance of Akiho, but also the protective wings of Kaito. The girl is holding a book (of course, how perfect for her) which is the representation of the artifact that was inside both Kaito and Akiho. This card is really so meaningful for someone like me who loves Akiho and Kaito. It's representing them united in their suffering (the artifact) but also in the hope for a better future (Akiho is smiling and the Card will be used to grant them safety, away from their abusers). I've always imagined that one of the last Cards Sakura might have produced would have Akiho and Kaito's elements, and here it is.

Also, how AWESOME is that Sakura managed to dispose of that damn artifact and succeeded to use it for Kaito and Akiho's sake, and turned it against the monsters who created it??? HOW. AWESOME. IS. THAT!!!!

Producing the very first consciously created transparent Card sucked almost all of Sakura's power and strength, and she's close to fainting, under the terrified eyes of Akiho, who lets go of Kaito for a moment in a gesture of going towards her "sister". But Sakura isn't done yet, no. She can't give up yet because her job isn't done.

And I Will Make Them Remember About You

Sakura wants for Akiho and the people who care about her (the ENG decided to translate this with "the people SHE holds dear") to remember who Akiho really is. She wants basically to "undo" what the rewriting of the world caused on the people who know Akiho, making them believe that she was born into the Kinomoto family and that she was Sakura and Touya's sister.

After pondering for a while and discussing with my friends over at my Discord server, I decided I'm not gonna go out on a limb and assume things from this decision, because I definitely NEED to read the next chapter to see how much Sakura intends people to remember, with this move. It's really not clear at all, as of now.

Anyway, other translation inaccuracy incoming!

Sakura, ENG: "I'm going to make another new card for that...and I might not have the power to do it alone" Sakura, JP: "It might probably be really difficult to create one more new card with my power, right now..."

As you can see, the nuance is different, because Sakura in the JP addresses how it's almost impossible for her to create another new card in the situation she is in right now, exhausted and all.

That's why, very cleverly, she's going to do something different. (My gosh how proud I am of this girl!!)

Saying "But these two Cards will surely help me", Sakura skillfully manages to merge Time and Rewind to create a new Card, not from scratch (which requires more power) but using what she's already got: and that's how the REMIND Card is born!!! The name of the Card originated by just replacing the "W" of Rewind with the "M" of Time. Ingenious, isn't it???

And as the two Cards merge, they give us lots of flashbacks, like the "effect" used here resembles a lot the one that used to happen when Sakura was changing the Clow Cards into the Sakura Cards back in the old arcs, or how the merging of two Cards seems to also be a callback to how the "card without name" and the "Nothing" merged to create HOPE in the very last minutes of Movie 2! What a nostalgic trip down the memories lane!

And the appearance of this Card is even more touching, because it features Syaoran (with his current age) holding Nadeshiko's pendant watch. I found that so sweet, especially coupled with Yelan's assistance to Sakura in this chapter. Yelan associated with Sakura, and Syaoran associated with Nadeshiko. How sweet. And when you think that even Lilie, Akiho's mother, was associated with Kaito, you really can realize that this is some kind of "theme" that CLAMP seemed to be wanting to portray in this story.

I Can't Be On Everyone's Side

And now, the scene that I think is worth the whole chapter, but probably the whole Clear Card Arc in its entirety. As usual, with important scenes, I'll use the literal translation from Japanese:

Sakura, JP: "It might not be right that there'll be people who will forget things (after this), but....I can't be everyone's friend/ally/can't be on everyone's side. So I won't go back...but actually, along with the people important to me... I WANT TO GO ON"

Wow. Let that sink in.

Sakura, of Cardcaptor Sakura, just came to the realization and spelled out clearly that she cannot be on everyone's side. That she cannot be "everyone's friend", like in a cheesy fairytale.

And I really, really, want to thank CLAMP-sensei for this scene and this line because for a period, long time ago, I was worried that this story would go down the "let's be friends" or "let's show sympathy to them" route. But as the chapters continued and the things CLAMP told us about the Association and the Squids were more and more cruel, and they made me more and more sick, I started to realize that there was simply no way CLAMP could've had Sakura try to justify or compromise with them. Because when cruelty is real, there's no compromise to be made.

This scene also shows how Sakura realizes for the first time ever that in her world, contrary to what we all believed previously, evil exists. It might not touch her or her "entourage" directly (and she's really blessed for that), but it exists out there and it's hurting people, people who can also become really important to her. And she decides to not stand idly by, blessed as she is with the luck of not experiencing that evilness, but actually using whatever it is in her power to bring those suffering people to safety.

Sakura cannot fight those people on equal terms. She's just 13, and although her power is very strong, she's still inexperienced. Moreover, she cannot really bring herself to deny her current nature and use violence on other human beings. That's not Sakura. I want you guys to reflect on this because I know that one of the favorite things expected for this finale was to have a direct magical confrontation with the true villains of this arc, defeating them and restablishing the peace. And I am sincere when I say that I would've wished for the same too, because you know how much I love Kaito and Akiho, and how much I was disgusted to read about what they did to them. I've spread my "burn the squids" gifs all over the fandom. I wanted someone to vindicate them. But not here. Not in this manga. I realized that after the initial satisfaction, I would've probably felt like the series would've been "defiled". And that's exactly what happens when you answer to violence with more violence.

Sakura just could not go hunting those bastards down and defeat them in a magical battle. Because, powerful and corrupted in their greed as they are, the only way to "fix" this situation would've been to exterminate them. I just could not picture this story to cross that boundary, no matter how much the bar had already been raised well over what we initially thought.

So, if someone out there is disappointed by this outcome, I'm sorry for you, but it was just not meant to be and I'm actually really glad that this series kept true to its fundamental values. Of course it would, CLAMP really do care about this series and they know very well how far to push the plot, and when to actually stop.

So what is the role of Akiho's clan and the Magic Association in this story, especially considering that we never saw their faces at all? Talking with lots of fans in these years, especially Japanese, I've come to the conclusion that they are not in this story to fill the "villain that needs to be deafeated" role, but actually they're a representation of abusive families that smother and suffocate their children with expectations, completely disregarding those children's natural inclinations, and abuse them when they do not meet such expectations, but also the society as a whole, that looks at you only basing on how it can take advantage of you. Which is exactly what happened to Akiho and Kaito, driving them to very dark places. The absence of faces for those characters makes it possible for the readers to see the Squids and the Association as the representation of whatever environment they relate the most to. It can be family, society, school, workplace etc... It also helps us focusing on their actions, rather than their faces, and not attribute any prejudice to them (because of religion, race, skin color, or whatever other attribute they could have).

Seeing as the story treats them more like a concept, than an actual entity, it's basically impossible for Sakura to defeat them (and their great power is an indication of that impossibility). Just like in real life, darkness will always exist, along with light. Good and evil will always be side by side. It's bigger than any of us. Then, what can we do, in a situation like this? What Sakura is choosing to do, here, is not to confront directly with violence these people who are way out of her league, and not even to sit back and look, but actually finding a way to make them forget about her friends and keeping her friends safe, granting them the possibility of living a happy life, finally away from the darkness of the past, healing the wounds on their souls together with the people they love and who love them back. Because even if you've been abused in the past, you can still hope for a happy life.

The focus here is all on helping the abused people. And Sakura, in order to do that, is okay with coming to terms with the fact that she can't be on everyone's side, and she needs to choose. In the end, the thing that really matters the most is to GO ON with your most important people. Not going back to what is lost, but going forward. And I know that this is such a CLAMP theme, and I'm glad that they reiterated it in this arc. When I say that Clear Card brought Sakura so much more closer to what's usual for CLAMP, I mean this.

The panel with Sakura raising her staff and shouting she wants to go on is absolutely beautiful, with those wings growing so big and unleashing Sakura's power in a storm of cherry blossom petals.

Sakura is exhausted, she finally reached her limit by using her ultimate magic. As she faints, her eyes just make it in time to catch a glimpse of her prince, the love of her life grabbing tightly his girlfriend's hand, to not let her fall, while the watch of Remind and the book of Blank do their job in the background. And I really loved this spread too, because even if it's not a conventional romantic scene made of physical display of love, this in my opinion is even more powerful. Many were reminded of Tsubasa, but I was also reminded of the long time those two spent unable to touch one another, and this scene here seems like a catharsis for that hardship they went through. Syaoran will always catch Sakura everytime she falls, he will always be there to grab her hand, no matter if he can really touch her or not. Cause his love is stronger than any kind of impediment. He will always be by her side, no matter what. When she's exhausted by her heroine's duties, she knows that she can always count on him to support her.

And speaking of "always be by her side", I just can't avoid mentioning how Akiho and Kaito stayed "glued" to eachother for the entire duration of this chapter, protecting and supporting one another. Kaito, in particular, kept holding Akiho even as Sakura's magic was hurting him like hell, because it was extracting the book from him. Even in excruciating pain, he did not let go of Akiho, intent in protecting her and keeping her safe in his hold. Akiho let go of him just for a moment when she was scared out of her mind for Sakura, but went back to him when she saw that her "sister" was hellbent in completing her task no matter what. Kaito, as the good "moon boy" he is, is someone who shows his feelings through his actions rather than words, just like Syaoran. And his constant grip on Akiho in this chapter, such an opposite act compared to how he used to stop his hand everytime it started reaching out to her, told me all that I needed to know about him: she's his most important person, and he will never let go of her, ever again.

Sakura wakes up in her bed. The scene is a direct parallel with an almost identical scene in chapter 3, as you can see here:

Kero is next to her and is relieved to see her awake, so he goes to shout in the hallway, directed to Touya, that Sakura is finally awake. Sakura seems a bit surprised to see Kero talking so nonchalantly with her brother, and he tells her that he chatted with him back at Yukito's house, together with Suppy, so I guess now he finds it "natural" to talk to her brother too! 😂 I'm kinda glad to know that, I like this "change of relationship", compared to the old series (and it was also kinda long overdue).

Sakura opens the palm of her hands and she finds the Dream Key, still intact and all. She also asks about Remind and Blank, and Kero confirms to her that she was able to use them successfully! Sakura is absolutely delighted to hear that, and says "We were able to go on!"

And thaaaaaaat's how the second-to-last chapter of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card ends! Solving a lot of the pending situations, but still leaving some secondary questions that will surely find a (more or less) detailed explanation in the final, next chapter. And well, we also have to prepare to not have ALL the answers to ALL the questions we might have. This is usual for CLAMP, and especially in their Spaces they never made it a secret that they love for their fans to wreck their brains over theories and imagining the characters' future after a series is over. They love for the fans to give their interpretations to things, they encourage that a lot (also because it creates more long-lasting engagement with their series).

Alas, I expect they'll leave something in particular to everyone's interpretation, but we'll see. 😅

Overall, I really loved this chapter and it was really emotional for me. I think it's fitting for a "climax". Sakura was ABSOLUTELY running the show and after this I dare anyone to say that she isn't the main character of her story. She pushed her limits, and even questioned her own morality in doing so. What a wonderful thing. She reminded me so much of Sakura-hime when she shooted all those monsters in order to take the precious egg, back in the Acid Tokyo arc of Tsubasa. She knew she was doing something bad, but her wish to do everything needed in order to "have him back" was stronger than anything else. And she made her own choice. Here, Sakura, on a smaller scale, made her own choice too.

Now, I hope in the last chapter we'll be granted the possibility to delve a bit more into Kaito and his thoughts, I need to see his character development, I need to see that he learned something from this. That he -at least- started to interrogate himself over the nature of his feelings for Akiho. I know it's reasonable to think that with him, things will take looooong time, but as least show me the signs. Because I need to know that Akiho will be truly happy with him (I know she will!), and she can only be if he's learned to be honest with himself. And learned what Lilie meant with the last conversation we saw between them.

Also, WHERE'S MOMO, I NEED TO SEE MOMO BEFORE THIS ENDS!!

Okay, this is probably the longest post I ever did but I think as the second-to-last chapter it deserved to have some big thematics explored in depth, because they're very important. I'm still pondering if I should divide the post of the final chapter in two because, in addition to even more pages, I expect there'll be soooooooooo much to talk about (cross your fingers with me that there won't be any translation mistake).

I also hope there'll be room for an epilogue or a couple of extra chapters, to help us coping with the separation in a more gradual way, cause after 7 years it's quite hard. I was curious to see the end, of course, but also not entirely ready to let this wonderful story go. I really, really enjoyed it and I say this from the bottom of my heart. I don't care what everyone else thinks, I can only be grateful to CLAMP for Clear Card Arc. 🙏

Chapter 80, along with all the tears that will come with it, is expected to be uploaded on November 29th on CLAMP's Youtube channel. Yes, it's less than a month away! I also expect some news about the anime (BLESS THE ANIME!! Something to cling onto when the manga is over 😭).

Well, see you at the end of November (please come to hold my hand cause I cannot do this alone, lol) !!!

[monkberryfields]

what are some of the reasons you love Paul so much??

Hello anon!

I was going to give a sort of joke answer to this but I figured I'll be serious for once in my life.

I really love Paul because I admire him for a lot of things. I think his dedication to music, his family, and to causes he really cares about is very admirable. Not like other celebrities aren't dedicated to things like this, but there's something that feels genuine about Paul and his sincerity comes out a lot in interviews. One of my favorite Paul interviews is this one idk the vibes are really cute with this interview. If I feel really down, I can put this on and feel much better. He's also just a cheeky bastard, and can be really mischievous and hilarious.

Also his love for Linda is something that has reinstated my ideas of true love and soul mates. Like not to get sappy but like the way he attempts to keep her memory alive to this day its just WAAAAAA!!! It makes my cold dead heart beat just a little. I mean just LOOK AT THEM ANON!!

Also, he just has a song for every mood. Like his songs are relatable and I also like how some of his songs feature mundane topics that whenever he writes them, it feels like the most amazing thing on earth.

Also I did cry in my car one night listening to "Warm and Beautiful" and I haven't been the same since.

I also think the guy is a literal musical genius but also humble at the same time. Like a lot of stuff we take for granted in popular music is stuff he and the Beatles did first and it's just remarkable! He's also not afraid to branch out and do things that people would find odd for musicians of his caliber like Broad Street, Rupert and the Frog Song, and the Liverpool Oratorio. I just think it's cool he branches out and did all sorts of genres, and like even his worst songs are better than most musician's entire discographies.

Please anon I could go on and on about why I love Paul, but I gotta stop or it becomes a ramble post lmao! Anyways, if anyone else has reasons why they love Paul, please add!! Thank you so much for the ask!!

[rock-n-macabre]

Heyo if your still taking request I was wondering if you would do a severen x fem!reader where she was freshly turned doesn't know a lot about vampire stuff her and severen both go into heat cause there souls are bound and shit and shes like wtf is going on

Always open for requests! Thank you so much for the request! 🖤✨ This one is a wee bit fluffy but still captures the vibe of Sev and his mate 🥰🖤✨

"What the fuck is happening to me?!"

I asked the snickering asshole beside me.

" 's okay, darlin'. Won't be long." He murmured into my hair as he nuzzled into my neck.

"Yeah, at least it won't be as painfully long as it will be being stuck to this buffoon for eternity!" Homer chortled with a smug expression.

"Shut it, lil' boner!" Severen diverted his gaze, hissing at Homer.

This is my life now.

One minute being free whilst on vacation. Now? Part of this shit show.

It was almost like some sort of demented prearranged marriage ordeal from what was explained to me. Supposedly if one nips you, you're officially theirs or something like that. I chuckled to myself, thinking it was some sort of bullshit looking at how Mae ran off on Homer and nipped Caleb. No divorce papers with that.

Apparently what happened to me was some sort of big deal.

The one who turned me, as they say, didn't take turning lightly and when he turned me...that definitely raised a few eyebrows.He had commitment issues, so I thought... no big deal. I'd probably be forgotten about just as Mae did with Homer, or something of the sort.

Y'all are probably wondering how did we get to this point mere moments ago.

I give a groan as my body slumps into Severen's as it ....reboots...itself, and the playback of events occur. ✨

It was a flurry of bright colours, extravagance, and partying. Drink in hand and without a care in the world, I dance my way through the street with no plan in mind with how my night might end.

I may have not had plans, but fate had other plans in mind.

I felt a hand snake its way around me and a hand came to rest on the small of my back as the person pulled me in close, dangling a set of beads in front of my face before letting them drop down my cleavage and running them up and down teasingly.

"Care for some beads, darlin'? I'll trade ya." A voice, sweet as honey, drawled.

I looked up into the stranger's eyes. I was met with the most piercing yet deep bluest of blue eyes, and a charming grin. I blush in spite of myself.

"You think I'm the kind of gal?" I give a small laugh as I continue to examine the man.

"Well, darlin', ya certainly don't give off them vibes of bein' all righteous now....'n' you look to me as if yer lookin' fer a fun time." He smirks.

I can't help but roll my eyes.

"Wow! I never knew I'd come across my own personal tour guide!" I laugh sarcastically.

"My services are quite sought after. Limited time offer, sweetheart." Severen laughed. He couldn't hide the amusement behind his eyes, as for once someone actually was conversing with him in a manner other than lust.

Mostly when it came to hunting prey, he would just turn on the charm and the gals would fall at his feet mindlessly. To come across someone different piqued his interest. Besides, this one aroused another feeling from him. Something that went deeper than anything he felt. Not gonna lie, the feeling was a bit overwhelming to him.

"I reckon I might know a thing er two...know 'em like the back of my...." He trails off as he bends down to capture the girl's lips in his.

It was like a jolt of energy surged through him and a glimpse of his past in tombstone...of a girl he was courting...

"Hand."

He pulls back and studies her features.

Nah, it couldn't be.

I gasp as I'm pulled into the alleyway that isn't littered with people, and feel the coolness of the brick against my back as he leans in to keep assaulting my mouth with hungry kisses. I was unaware of with each contact, did it trigger memories to be brought back to life within him. There was a hunger within him that was awakened alongside of the norm.

"Fuck it. Enough a the bullshit. I ain't wastin' n'more time."

I barely could react to his words and ask what he meant when he gripped me right before dipping his head into the crook of my neck and biting hard and sucking for a few moments. When he released and took a step back, with my blood staining his lips, I used my the little energy I had despite being woozy to deliver a punch.

"WHAT THE FUCK?! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

He doesn't look phased as I yell and pathetically try to get away. With a lazy smirk, he pins me back against the brick wall.

"See ya still have that fight in ya.....some things never change." He murmurs as he plays with a strand of my hair. I don't respond back.

"Yer tellin' me ya don't remember us? What we had? Them kisses didn't spark those memories that have been haunting me all of these damn years, honey?" His blue eyes search mine for answers.

I try to make sense of the visuals that popped into my mind during the heated kisses. It could have been some mind trick he was playing. I could have just envisioned the scenarios because of his honeyed accent.

"You're lying....please....let me go." I whimper and try to get out of his grasp. This only makes him tighten more.

"I lost ya once all those years ago, darlin'. I ain't 'bout to go 'n' do it again. Yer comin' with me, whether ya like it 'r not." He laughs as he picks me up and puts me over his shoulder as he heads towards an RV in distance. I pummel at his back relentlessly before giving in.

"You'll remember 'ventually, darlin'." He smirked and gave my ass a tap as he stepped inside the RV. What even was this man.

I grumbled as he put me on the couch in the RV and slung his arm lazily yet with a firm grip to keep me by his side. I looked up at the faces staring bewildered back at us. The crickets chirping in the background solidified the moment all too well. Eventually , the man who I presume is the leader of this unruly gang spoke up.

"Severen...we need to talk. Now." The gruff voice of the Silver One spoke to the petulant man child that held me hostage.

Severen shook the hair out of his eyes before walking over to Jesse where they both went to speak in the corner of the RV away from the group of us.

"It's her, Jess'.... After all this time....I ain't lettin' 'er get away from me again." Severen clenched his fist a little when he spoke.

"Do you think we have an ark or something for everyone we bring in? It's bad enough that Mae brought in Caleb out of the blue. You should know better, Severen." Jesse gave Severen a look.

"I didn' see ya ask me when ya turned Di---" Severen got caught off as Jesse slammed his hand down beside him, eliciting a growl from Severen as he narrowed his eyes.

"Don't make me regret leavin' ya back in Tombstone to rot, Severen. Coulda left ya hangin' there in the gallows." Jesse said sternly.

"Exactly. That's why I'm not leavin' her again this time, Jess'. If I fuck up, it's on my ass. I know. Ya gotta trus' me on this." Severen pushed his way past Jesse and back over to where we were before settling back down.

The time Severen was gone, the others had introduced themselves to me and their backstories. They took to me better as being part of them immediately, unlike Jesse who was still skeptical.

"Will someone please tell me what is going on?" I turned to Severen, "and why you decided I'm your long lost love?"

All eyes turned our way before Severen lounges back and pulls me in towards him. Homer rolls his eyes and grumbles something about it being another storytime. Severen sighs and shoots Homer a glare.

"Shut it, Homer. The lil' lady wants to know."

I am taken aback when he grabs hold of my hand and absentmindedly runs his hands over my knuckles and proceeds to tell everyone about his days of being an outlaw. How he fell in love with a girl who was an entertainer, singing in the saloon. How he would whisk her away to share sweet nothing's away from the hustle and bustle that was Tombstone during that time. Eventually the law caught up to him and he was sentenced to the gallows. Just when he thought he was a goner, Jesse had came to his rescue and turned him.

Severen gave a grim smile as he rummaged in one of the pockets of his jacket until his fingers grazed the object he was looking for. A tarnished ring that had definitely seen better days. He held it up before grabbing my hand and slipping it onto my finger.

"Still the same size, darlin'. It's like nothin has changed." I give a small gasp as everything clicks.

All those dreams weren't caused because of watching Western movies...they were flashbacks. The overload of information was too much. Yet.... I couldn't stop the feeling that was consuming me. It was something I couldn't describe. Something that overwhelmed every sense in my body....

My eyelids flutter open and I am greeted with Severen being right up in my face, and a hunger pang gnaws at my insides and my eyes wander between his neck and his wrist. With a smirk, I close the small distance between us and I nuzzle at his neck this time. He chuckles and leans into my shoulder as I place kisses on his neck.

"Someone's eager, huh?" He smirks as he examines my features with desire.

"Need you," I growl as he cups my cheek with his rough hands, running his thumb over my bottom lip.

"Always fuckin' need you." I whisper and keep my eyes locked on Severen.

This triggers any last restraint he had to go out the window as he picks me up and carries me to the back corner of the RV.

"Ya have no idea how long I've been needing you." He murmurs into my hair as he lays me down and begins pawing at my body, pushing down the straps of my dress.

"I think I have a bit of an idea." I give a giggle before it turns into a moan when he gently sucks at the spot he bit earlier.

Shit. Right.

Severen looks at me before leaning in , pinning me against the mattress.

"I'll only do this once, darlin'. But yer gonna have to learn to hunt like the rest of us. Ya hear?" I nod as he gives me access to his neck and I clamp down hard as instinct takes over. He hisses and a small 'shit!' escapes him. He pulls away after a while, holding me at arms length with an amused grin.

"Well I'll be damned, yer a natural, honey." He chuckles before pressing his lower body back against mine.

"Want something, cowboy?" I smirk up at him.

"Need you. Fucking need you." He growls.

"Need me to do what?" I raise an eyebrow at him, urging him to continue.

Severen laughs, shaking the hair out of his eyes.

"Where to even fucking begin." I give a grin before pulling him in so our lips are mere inches apart.

"How about from where it all began?" He smirks at that thought before closing the distance and capturing my lips in a heated kiss as he grinds his hips against me suggestively, causing me to moan into the kiss.

"Let me remind ya then, darlin'." He winks before pinning my wrists down and resuming the heated make out session.

If it was anything like baseball, he would have hit a home run. Maybe even go another lap around the bases as well. I swore I lost count of how many times he brought me to my sweet release before he obtained his own. That man must have wrote the guide on sex positions.

Afterwards we laid beside each other. A small laugh escapes me and he turns to give me a look.

"Now, now ... Did I break wind er somethin' darlin' ? I know it's been an honest while since I've gone all out an' wild like that....but I ain't that bad!"

I put my fingers against his lips to shush him and he goes to nip my finger tips before I give him a tap on the cheek.

"Nah, Sev .... Just surprised ya ain't shootin' cobwebs." I give a wink and shriek when he goes to tickle my sides.

"Real' funny, honey. Gee, who woulda thunk my sweet wildflower woulda turned into a comedian in the next life. I thought you were a singer." He smirks.

I roll my eyes. How the hell did I put up with this man in my past life? Not missing a beat, I took what I could recall from the past memories.

"And who woulda thunk it that to this day, you'd still be a smartass?!" I giggle as he pulls me in and I pretend to struggle to get away. He holds onto me tighter before I relax again and he watches me as I admire the ring on my finger.

It was real.

All so damn real.

"Some things never change, darlin'. Some things never damn change."

[redfurrycat]

May i respectfully ask how you can enjoy a ship if u didn't see the show for canon's sake?? 😄👀

Hey Anon! :)

Talking about Sterek are we, right?? :D

Upon reading your ask, I reflected on how I got into the Sterek fandom in the first place, and wow what a nice journey down the memory lane!!

Short answer to how I can enjoy a ship if I didn't see the show?

COLDFLASH.

Confused, are you? =D

The longer version of my babbling is under the cut, and so very sorry about that, coudn't help myself! :D

In case you don't know about the Coldflash ship, Anon, just a quick word. Tis the hero/villain ship from the Flash tv-show, aka Barry Allen/Leonard Snart.

THEM:

I started following this ig account ss.sterek [@holycafe if I'm not mistaken], liking all the coldflash posts, then getting curious about their other posts as well.

This is how Sterek came to be.

At first, it was a polite indifference, but the more I saw the sterek posts the more it got interesting to me, until one day I started searching for any Sterek content.

Until I started searching for any content on Tumblr, specifically.

Until I liked so many incorrect quotes and crack posts about this so-called Sourwolf and Spaz.

At some point their dynamic became SO addicting, I decided to start reading fics.

Did I understand any of the mentionned canon? Heck no.

(The Teen Wolf Wiki Page was a huge help in that regard, explaining to me what a kanima or a nogitsune was for example.)

Still, I remember the first fics I read were about Stiles being Pack Mom to the Wonder betas!! =D

Also fics closely (ish) related to canon...So yeah they always referred to stuff happening in the show that I usually didn't get...

With patience, some research, and LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF FICS, I began grasping things and characters surrounding the Sterek pair.

So I may not know about the Derek and the Stiles from the show, but I know of the fandom version of them.

Beleive me, it puzzled me how big it got to me. (BUT I'M LOVING IT!)

Like I probably have 2,000 bookmarked Sterek fics on AO3 plus the ones I've yet to read on my marked-for-later and the other ones I read without bookmarking them (rookie mistake xD).

I think the writers and the Sterek content creators have taken the grumpy-sunshiny & dry-sarcastic dynamics and wrote....how to say it? almost different characters than from the show? To the point I didn't need the show to understand them.

Nor did I wish to.

Actually, I tried watching after S06 got out, but didn't last more than 15 min maybe? My brain was too wired up on the Sterek vibe to fully appreciate the show. (Maybe my teenage ass would have liked it... But as I was watching soooo maaaaany tv-shows already, it was impossible to start watching Teen Wolf, and when I first heard of Sterek I was at Uni and really didn't have the time - But OH LORD THE NUMBER OF FICS I READ... My life saver to countless sleepless nights unable to close my eyes xD)

I've only watch THE famous Sterek Supercut!!!! :D <3

I don't know if you are aware of my Tumblr really, but if you are, you may notice I'm VERY MUCH INTO PLANES AND PILOTS these days... (okay it's been a year)....

YEAH YEAH YEAH TALKING ABOUT TOP GUN AND TOP GUN MAVERICK AND BLONDE AND BRUNET PILOTS SO WHAT OF IT?!

*I'm super chill, whatddyamean???? :D*)

Make NO mistake though, Sterek is still a favourite pair of mine, and I AM OH SO GLAD to see old and new content popping up in my dash. Still reblogging and reading!!!!!!!!!

ETERNAL STEREK!

Thank you to the original account that got me into Sterek. Thank you to THE STEREK FANDOM FOR CREATING THE MOST AMAZING CONTENT AND FICS.

Dear you go, Anon, rambles over. :D

(((I started writing the reply in the morning, and it is now the evening. I got distracted by real life stuff in the middle, and I AM EXHAUSTED. I hope you can make sense of all the babbling (or word-vomit, more like it.) I won't be reading again cause otherwise I'll keep adding stuff :D))

Have a good day Anon! ;)

[twoidiotwriters1]

Daughter of Olympus (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: Ara cannot stop thinking it's exhausting to write someone sedate her 😩-Danny Words: 2,519 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter / Next Chapter Listen to: 'Dancing After Death' -by Matt Maeson

XXVI: Leo Survives the Vibe Check

After Lee died, Michael took his place as senior counselor. During the funerals, Lily and I stay with our friend, and a weakened Nico follows us around quietly. I decide to share my plan with them.

Lily shakes her head miserably. "Achilles passed and Heracles turned into a God, they can't help."

"I wasn't talking about them."

"You said a child of Olympus might be our solution," Mike frowns.

"Yeah, what if we make a new one?"

They stare at me like I've gone mad. "Ara, to be considered at all, you'd have to—"

"Be a jack of all trades," I nod. "And as sturdy as a radioactive roach."

"Sounds fun," Nico mumbles. He's half-asleep, and I'm not sure he's truly listening.

Lily gazes at my brother and her sister. "Percy has a prophecy to fulfill, and Annabeth—"

"I want to try it." 

Silence. The kind that comes after someone says something so nuts you don't even process it. I continue before they can stomp all over my idea.

"You've trained me well, at a higher level than most demigods and I... I think I know from where Almighty comes from."

"I'm not getting it," Mike says.

"I've been dreaming about this," I explain. "The children of Olympus."

"Make amends with your past", Pan had said. I've been given an opportunity to succeed where others didn't. I don't understand why me, when so many skilled demigods could take the title, but Aphrodite's words come to mind: Love is at the core of everything... Even war. 

Someone knocks on the trapdoor and pushes it open. Ara knows who it is just by the sound of the footsteps.

Annabeth enters the attic fully. "I don't understand why you like it here. You remember this is where we used to keep a mummy, right?"

"The mummy wasn't the creepiest thing in our collection," Ara points over her shoulder before returning to the laurel crown. "The horrors are endless."

Annabeth sits next to her, now both are staring at the gold crown. "That doesn't explain why you come here."

"I come here because it's packed with stuff some demigods considered meaningful—but now all those memories and people are gone. One day, someone will look at these laurels and they won't know anything about me, except that I once wore them."

"And that makes you feel... good?"

"It's not about feeling good," the girl looks back at her. "The prophecy of the seven... I'm not part of it. I'm trying to understand why."

Annabeth sighs and rubs her eyes. "I don't know, Ara. You look after the Olympians, you won't get a greater honor than that."

"And that stresses me out," she frowns. "You're telling me I reached my peak at fourteen? This is all I'll ever get?"

"Ara, I've known you since we were little girls," Annabeth raises a brow. "Your life right now is good, what's the problem with that? You got clues about Percy, you're keeping our home safe, and you got us a new guardian..."

"New guardian?"

"Yeah," Annabeth grins. "Pollo."

Ara chuckles. "You talked to Leo?"

"He's crazy, but nice," the older girl hums. "You two make sense as partners."

She clears her throat. "I... I'm not his partner, not really."

"We both know you won't resist the temptation to work in the Argo II," Annabeth teases her. "Soon enough you'll be all over Leo."

Ara blushes at her wording, she looks away and hugs her knees. "Dunno, he's pretty controlling about his creations..."

"He likes you, though," the girl says casually. "And he gets you, doesn't he? The part of you that always weirded us out."

Ara tries to see if Annabeth's insinuating something, but her voice sounds forthcoming, so the girl guesses Annabeth has no idea what she's doing to Ara with that sort of statement.

"I haven't called my mother," she comments, trying to change the subject. "To tell her I'm still alive."

"Did she know you left?"

Ara stares at her. "You didn't tell her?"

Annabeth shakes her head. "Two kids in life-threatening situations can't be good for her heart, didn't think it'd be a good idea."

"But... It's protocol."

"Only when it's a difficult quest," Annabeth's eyes with pride. "We knew you'd come back alive."

Ara's eyes get teary, but she tries to shrug it off. "Well, I'll call her tomorrow anyway. I miss her."

"You should visit during Christmas."

She clears her throat. "Yeah, maybe."

"Can't promise it'll be fun, but..."

"No yeah, I miss my dad too."

Annabeth places one hand on her shoulder. "Hey, since Rachel is also staying, we should do a girls' night like old times."

"Old times," Ara snorts. "We started doing those four months ago."

"That means we haven't had one in like three months," she smirks. "Is that a yes?"

Ara looks at Annabeth intently, she realizes the girl hasn't said anything about their prophecies. "You're not angry that I hid my prophecy from you all?"

Annabeth shrugs, but she looks tense. "I think you're allowed to hide stuff if you think that's the right move, and it wouldn't be the first time, right?" she stares back at her. "You wanna talk about it?"

Ara feels her mouth run dry. "No."

Annabeth gets up to leave. "Don't stay here for too long, it stinks of mummy."

"If I become a child of Olympus, I can stop others from destroying our home in the years to come."

"Ara, you're thirteen," Lily reminds me.

"So what? Heracles and Achilles weren't adults when they started," I pout.

She shakes her head. "Percy's prophecy is very clear—"

"And it bounds him to one purpose only," I'm knee-deep in the conversation, so I say exactly what's on my mind. "I could do more."

"Ara, I don't think—"

"I'm in."

"What?" Lily scowls at Mike. "Are you crazy?"

Michael keeps his gaze down. "Ara wanted a family and got one. She woke up one day, decided to start training, and broke a record. She said a sword would come to her, and Hephaestus gave her Almighty. She makes things happen."

"Yeah, she worked to get all of that," Lily rolls her eyes. "But a child of Olympus? There hasn't been one in centuries! Least of all a girl!"

"She'll change that." A leaf-green glow envelops Mike's body. As heartbroken as he is, he means business. "You'll be our child of Olympus, Ara. I swear it on the Styx."

Just like that, it's done. Mike sealed our fates, and now I've got no choice. Lily swears in Italian and falls back on her seat, staring at the funeral pyre as if we're the ones burning. Nico is fast asleep, he didn't hear anything from the last few minutes of our conversation.

"Mike..." I hug him and my voice cracks. "You're not supposed to be stupid!"

"I know," his voice sounds just like mine, and his arms wrap around me weakly. "Blame it on the grief..."

Lily throws her stygian dagger between our feet. "Idiots," she sulks. "Just when I think you don't have any tricks left to make me follow you on another wild goose chase..."

"Wouldn't be a good role model if I didn't make you slightly crazy," Michael shows a tiny smile.

Lily scoffs. "More like an annoying brother that wants to ridicule us..."

"I don't know what I did to deserve you," I cry.

"Bug," Mike's gaze softens and he cups my face. "You know damn well you don't deserve us."

I laugh and look at Lily, gathering up some confidence before I talk. "I brought Nico back. I'll work hard every day to earn your trust, even after I get the title."

I lift my right wrist, the scar in full view.She raises hers and touches mine, sealing the deal. She can't do anything but make sure I don't lose any limbs before time.

I see Janus out of the corner of my eye, but they vanish when I look their way.

Ara reads her to-do list during breakfast, muttering things to herself. When she's done eating, she gets up and goes back to the Big House. Halfway there someone calls after her.

It's the second time Leo approaches her unprompted, which is not strange but feels weird. Or maybe she's just tense around him out of habit. "Nyssa and Jake told me you're not coming to the bunker today, why is that?"

She tilts her head in confusion. "You need my help with something?"

"No, I just want you near me at all times," he replies sarcastically. "Of course I need you! How am I supposed to supervise fifty people all by myself?"

"Annabeth's taking her siblings to the bunker, you can explain everything to them," Ara shrugs. "They don't need you to tell them what to do all the time, it'll be okay."

"You're Cabin Nine's right-hand lady, I'm summoning my right-hand lady to the bunker before I make a fool of myself in front of the Einstein cabin."

She snorts. "Why do I feel like you're just trying to annoy me?"

"Honestly, I'm trying to tell you that I'm nervous and I need moral support," he clasps his hands together. "Would flattery seal the deal? What if I slip in a pet name? Mamacita or—"

Ara turns around knowing Leo will follow her. "I am not your mother, so don't ever call me that. Also, it was wrong of you to eavesdrop, but still... thank you for not asking about my prophecy the other day."

Leo shrugs, catching up to her as they walk to the Big House. "I don't really get prophecies, but yours sounded tough, so if you don't want to talk about it..."

"Maybe one day," she replies. "Anyway, you've got stuff to do. Which reminds me," she waves at the girl waiting for them on the porch. "It's time for introductions."

Leo has seen Lily Saggio once or twice around camp but never paid attention to her until now. "Leo Valdez," Ara says as soon as they're close enough. "This is my best friend and second in command, Lily Saggio."

"Hi," he waves briefly. "You look much scarier from up close."

"Did you talk to Annabeth?" Ara asks the girl.

"Yeah, she said I should come find you," she gives Leo a nod to let him know she's not ignoring him, but she's clearly got more important things to attend right now.

Leo can't help but notice all of Ara's close friendships are serious or grumpy, maybe that's the reason she's in such a bad mood all the time.

"I'll be back in a minute, gotta give my mother a call," Ara excuses herself from the conversation and rushes into the Big House, leaving Leo alone with the dark-haired girl.

"So," he smiles. "Athena, right?"

"Hephaestus," Lily sizes him up. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure! Unless is my haircare routine, that one's—"

"Ara has a soft spot for your cabin," Lily interrupts him. "She can't say no to you, but I'm here to say it for her," she steps forward. "So be mindful of what you ask her."

Leo's not entirely sure she's talking about the Argo II, but he tries to act chill. "Ara trusts you, so I'll do the same. What about you?"

Lily raises a brow. "As long as you do your job, I don't have a reason not to... but I'll keep an eye on you."

"You don't have to worry about me, I'm a workaholic. I work so hard I forget to eat. And sleep. I love my job!"

Lily frowns. "I hope that's a joke."

"Only in the ways that matter."

Ara comes back out after a minute and Leo can finally breathe again. When they get to the bunker, Leo realizes he's been so anxious he hasn't spoken since they left the Big House.

Pretty girls have always made him nervous, but right now he's straight-up pressed. Saggio gives off strict parent vibes, and he doesn't want to mess things up with Ara now that they're friends.

Annabeth is at the bunker's entrance with her brother Malcolm, Ara introduces the boy to Leo and Leo gives him a formal greeting, there's a buzzing in his ear like something's out of place in his inner mechanisms, it's filling his mind with thick smoke.

Ara takes them to the Argo II's blueprint. "That's what we'll be working on."

Malcolm stares at it with wide eyes. "That's huge!"

"And ancient," Annabeth studies it carefully. "This came to you when you were little, Leo?"

"Hmm?" He gives a start. "Oh, yeah! When Tía Callida babysat me she made sure to ingrain it into my brain, along with the nightmares."

"He means Hera," Ara clarifies.

Annabeth looks at Leo and tries to smile. "Well, you fixed Festus. I trust you can build this. Malcolm and Lily are here to help you, so whatever you need, feel free to ask them."

"Thanks! But if I get stuck I can just ask Ara, right?" Annabeth, Malcolm, and Lily laugh, which is crazy because he isn't trying to be funny.

Ara blushes and changes the subject. "I've got a chariot to fix, so..." she gestures at Lily to follow her out. "Malcolm, you stay with Leo. If you need anything, send Harley."

"Have you contacted Nico yet?" Annabeth asks. "He asked us to let him know when you returned." 

Leo listens intently, trying to figure out Nico's role just by examining Ara's face. All he knows is that the boy lent her his jacket so she could stay warm during the quest. He's also the son of Hades, which is... challenging. Leo can't fight for Ara's heart with a guy who's the prince of the underworld!

"I'll call him later," Ara wrinkles her nose and waves a hand dismissively. "And I'll come tomorrow before I leave for..." The girl notices Leo's staring and frowns. "What?"

"Huh? Oh! I was..." he points to the old blueprint, then pauses. "Hang on, before you what?"

"Before I leave," Ara looks slightly uncomfortable. "I'm going home for the holidays."

"Not for long, right?" He asks anxiously.

"I'll come back after a few days," she says, not meeting his eyes.

"Oh." 

Wow, he's killing it today with the witty talk. Way to go, Leo. Malcolm stands beside him and watches the girls leave, the blond boy crosses his arms and glances at Leo. "You nervous?"

"Pfft. Why would I be? I'm the man," he says, desperate to sound normal.

Malcolm smirks. "Well, Ara's a crazy scientist, and my sisters can be bossy—"

"Wait, are we talking about the same Ara here?" Leo raises a brow.

"'Course, man. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you haven't paid enough attention. Lily and Ara are chronic overachievers," Malcolm walks away without explaining further.

"What does that—hey! Malcom, wait up! What does that mean?"

Leo tries to follow him, but Nyssa gets in his way. 

"Alright, Counselor, stand still a minute!" She grabs him by the shoulders and places him on the platform where Festus's head is. 

Leo spots Jake in front of them, holding a professional camera. "What the—"

"It's for the record," his sister explains. "Chiron hangs 'em in his office, and we'll hang one in our cabin's wall. This project should be remembered by the generations to come."

Leo's cheeks burn. "And you want me to be in the picture?"

"Well, you're the guy with the vision," Nyssa pats his back roughly. "But we'll take one with the whole crew once the Argo II's done, don't worry."

Leo's mind goes to Ara, the idea of having a picture where both of them appear side by side makes him stupidly happy. He needs to calm the heck down.

"Okay, make sure to capture my good side!" He muses.

Next Chapter ->

Taglist.

@siriuslysirius1107 @ask-giggles1303 @ash-the-hoarder @im-planning-something-look @bandshirts-andbooks @coolninjapaper @thewaterlily @whenisthefall @1randomcomic @you-bloody-shank @sunflowergraves @owlalex44 @taylordaughter @typicalsolangelolover @writingmia @espressopatronum454 @slytherinnqueen @orbitingpolaris

[gemini-sensei]

what do you think any of the girls would be like with an autistic partner?

My immediate thoughts went to Tory and Moon, so I'll give my thoughts on those two.

Tory x Autistic!Reader, Moon x Autistic!Reader Headcanons

Gender nonspecific reader 🌙 no body descriptors used ❤️ short

I hope I did this well ❤️ (partially edited)

Tory

❤️ Tory is so patient and attentive with her partner. She picks up on things that make them uncomfortable pretty quick, but doesn't say anything about it outright. She'll ask if they need anything or how they're feeling, and if they need something then she's going to get it for them. If they're not feeling the best, she'll ask if she can give them a hug or if there's anything she can do to for them. She's very gentle with them as opposed to literally anyone else they know. Her attentive care and acts of service are also her love languages, so it is her way of showing she cares.

❤️ If someone ignores or even cuts off her partner while they're talking, just being rude in general, she gets upset and snappy. "Hey, asshole, I didn't ask for your opinion. Now fuck off and go tell someone who actually cares." She then immediately turns to her partners and asks them to continue with what they were talking about. If the interruption was too much of a distraction that it derailed their train of thought, it's okay because she remembers and will recap the conversation up to that point to jog their memory (I wish someone would do this for me). She's always interested in what her partner has to say, especially if it's about something they enjoy or are passionate about.

Moon

🌙 She gives me the vibe that she buys stim toys just because, but if her partner uses stim toys then she'll definitely buy more. Especially the ones they like and ones in pretty colors. If her partner stims with their hands, she finds it really interesting and loves to watch them. She might accidentally stare, too, but if asked not to watch then she won't. Also, will 100% let her partner play with her fingers while they're relaxing and having down time. Cuddles after a long day including a pop it y'all found at the store? Yes.

🌙 Moon loves planning dates and keeps noisy/crowded places in mind. She knows that while somewhere might be fun for her to visit, it may not be fun for her partner. So she might look up some places online or even go out to some places to see how loud/busy they are. Quiet cafes, the library, little diners and restaurants that aren't that well known or commercial. She will also plan dates for staying in, like having a picnic and movie night on her living room floor. She will also ask her partner what they want to do and she gets everything together for it. She's open to a lot of activities and exploring new things, so whatever they want to do, she's down for.

[saqui]

Rwby Ships as my kpop playlist songs:

I'm a very huge kpop stan and I think it would be nice to have some fun just by mixing my two interests into one. Enjoy!

Rosegarden - "SLOWMOTION" by TREASURE

What I love about this song is it speaks about taking your time to go deeper, slower, in the moment. It also gives deep comfort or ease. This song best suits Rosegarden in my opinion because from how I see Rosegarden, as the world is going faster that it's heavier to carry its heavy weight, they find as if the world became slower and lighter the moment they see each other.

Overall, the vibe just suits 😌🥰❤💚

Lines:

(1) We goin' slowmotion

(2) I want a deep talk

(3) All day, let's go, it's a long day, trust me, lean next to me.

Renora - "But You" by iKON

One, I can definitely see Ren singing this to Nora.

Two, this song tells about how sure that the girl, he used to be in a relationship before, is the only one for him no matter what and would want to start over again which I think suits them sooo much. Plus, I think this is something how Ren would really deeply feel about Nora even especially how they are currently.

Lines:

(1) You're the reason. I need you baby

(2) Start over and fall in love

(3) We know each other better more than anyone else

(4) Nobody but you

Bumbleby - "Bet You Wanna" by BLACKPINK

They're high for each other. They're hooked for each other. Just look at the gif. Does that not speak volumes to you??? /hj

Anyways, yes, this song has the whole vibe of being high because of their partner. Blake and Yang have always been clingy and whipped for each other and this song expands that idea more. This song is playful and teasing like their love language so it's this I choose.

This song kinda mentions a lot of fire too.

Lines:

(1) Take me to your paradise cuz I don't wanna wait anymore

(2) Something 'bout me's takin' you higher and you ain't ever gonna come down.

(3) I'm lighting your fire and it ain't ever gonna go out

Blacksun - "Thank You" by TREASURE

Both Blake and Sun are thankful for being with each other. There are so many lessons and memories they've made from each other and I guess it's time to say "Thank you". They wish each other good things in the world. That's the whole point of the song, just being thankful and moving forward. Also, the vibe or the music just suits them a lot.

Lines:

(1) Thank you that I met you

(2) All we have to do is walk on the flowery path

(3) Instead, I promise you don't get sick and I hope you meet a good person.

(4) Thank you so much, I was so happy

Tauradonna - "KILL THIS LOVE" by BLACKPINK

LET'S KILL THIS LOVE!

YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH

Arkos - "Shout Out" by ENHYPEN

Honestly, everything about arkos makes me associate everything specifically about being true to your feelings which I think relates to the song about "shouting" it out and considering how Pyrrah was always keeping her feelings to herself.

This song also has that beautiful vibe I feel for this ship.

Lines:

(1) The fake paradigm that locked me up beyond the border line drawn by someone, I shout out, and this is my shout out. I'm all for myself.

(2) Shout out my heart for you. My burning heart, shout out.

(3) I'm trapped in a wall that locked me up. Your voice is calling me

(4) My life without you is a misery

(5) With my real voice, I'll tell you my true feelings.

Everything here is only based on how I interpret both the songs and the ships. This is really fun to make!

The songs are beautiful!

If you're looking for other ships, maybe I would want to make another post for it. That is if you guys are also kpop stans haha!

I'm also genuinely curious what songs you think would fit these rwby ships too, let me know! 🤩

[dcpravities]

☆ post-event plotting call ☆

alright, time for me to be real with y'all and say that i'm a little too excited that my muses were killed in the event and now are totally unaware. obviously if i have to add someone else before the end of the event lol, i'll reblog again but!! definitely planning to use this to jump start new plots and connections outside of just fandom ones, so please feel free to throw a like at this if you're interested in any of the wanted connections i've posted, or if you have any other ideas!!

dorcas meadowes, harry potter

fake life vibes: studying as a grad student, works odd jobs here and there to keep the bills paid but keeps her life as stress free as possible. has absolutely no recollection of anything magic related, and will laugh in the face of someone who tries to tell her that she knows about it. very focused on finishing her work and getting a good job, everything else falls to the side.

new connection ideas:

fake relationship / fiancee: someone else with fake memories who believes they've been together for a while. bonus points for another unaware marauders era character if you want some spice.

fake siblings (real or adopted): in her actual memories, dorcas is an only child so it could be fun to let her get attached to the idea of having siblings only for it to be completely fake. other fake family is also an option!

academic rival: she's smart and hardworking and she knows it, and she's not afraid to sidestep anyone that might get in the way of that or provide an obstacle to her. could be playful vibes or could be something a little more cutthroat.

an ex: in this fake memory life, she's definitely someone who didn't stray from the path of what was expected, not someone who liked to make waves at all - but this could've been someone who got thrown to the side because they didn't fit in with her idea of a future.

the person who keeps trying to tell her who she actually is: self explanatory, but be prepared for her to be annoyed at you 24/7. could also be someone who has her wand because she definitely does not still have that lol.

venti, genshin impact

fake life vibes: still an extremely annoying drunk, just tends to get in trouble for it more since he's lost memories of all the different ways he could get out of trouble. works as a bartender ( a terrible one since he's usually drinking more than the actual paying customers, also tends to go home with someone after every shift ). doesn't have a ton of friends because his personality can be a little grating but he tends to be likable and friendly for the most part.

co-workers who hate him: like i said, man is a terrible bartender. he messes up drinks, constantly is tipsy behind the bar despite denying it, and somehow manages to evade getting fired because he's just relatively charming and/or he's blackmailing the boss. could be either, could be both.

fwbs: probably has a few of them, varying ranges of friendship or if it's just something casual they they're both looking to get off.

a roommate: before dwording he didn't live in any one spot since he can just sort of deal with anything since he's a god and probably just came and go wherever he wanted to, but wouldn't someone love to be his roommate?? it'll be fun

maybe an actual friend: he is a nice person who is very thoughtful once all of his extra personality is pulled away, so there could definitely be someone that does actually like him for some reason.

[mamabearwonders]

I love coming into work 20 mins early to have a snack and soda pop. The weather is spooky season approved. I have a tie dye Smurfs hoodie with a sleeping Smurf under a mushroom on the back (low-key me).

I like watching the leaves fall, the cars and buses pass by in this little picnic area. I love my job because I only work 3 days a week, 5 hour shifts and usually I can snag lunch on a 10-15 min break and then I get the whole entire Friday through Sunday off plus Tuesday so get a nice little break between working.

We get unlimited soda pop at work to keep us going. It's a beautiful area close by to me. Nice little bus ride over. Sadly I don't think my work friend is working today, I think they only work on two of my days, but I still like people at my work, we just vibe really well and talk the whole day.

This place is also really important to me. Because not this exact location, but my friend👼 and I would always call up this restaurant in the last few months of his life and we had the best conversations ever we tried to like keep his spirits up and give them amazing memories to hold on to so it's a peaceful location to me. I always feel him with me, but especially here I just don't feel the stuff I'm going through. I just feel okay.

And then the train line I usually go down to the thrift store and get some goodies and then I'll turn around and get some food here on my discount to end the day and then go home.

Added a cute placeholder because my camera keeps crashing for the photos. 🙄

[lysol1201]

😊Obey Me Brothers as Luke Hemmings songs and Why I'm Right😊

This is all including shit from Luke Hemming's album "When Facing The Things We Turn Away From" which you should listen to because it's beautiful and amazin, thank you xx

will say this does include some like deeper thinking, unsure if there is anything that I should mark as triggering here, lemme know if there is anything i should leave warnings for.

slight spoilers in Belphie's for the anime season 1 as well as lesson 16, but I will mark it when it gets there <33

++++

🔥Lucifer🔥

Starting Line by Luke Hemmings

"I wake up every morning with the years ticking by I'm missing all these memories, maybe they were never mine I feel the walls are closing I'm running out of the time I think I missed the gun at the starting line"

I want you to look me straight in the eyes and tell me this man isn't damaged from having to be the "parent" of his brothers, I'll wait. Kidding, you can't. I cannot stress this enough: He had to take place as the father figure after they were all disowned by their own. This bitch wakes up every morning knowing he can't really just be a fucken dude anymore this man a single father over 5 fallen angels and some demon that never asked for this shit. He walked into this with 0 warning and it all happened so fast he doesn't even know how he got there. This bitch went out to buy clothes and found himself at the soup store, fr.

💵Mammon💵

Place In Me by Luke Hemmings

"Call me in the morning Yeah, I'm sorry that I let you down I'm so apathetic, it's pathetic But I need you now."

Bestie doesn't know how to use his emotions probably, so he be a bitch instead ❤ Typical tsundere vibes but also same, can relate. Unfortunately, I am writing this in a stance of this is how I usually am and Mammon is basically the same, awks. Anyway, basically this dude kinda meanie or acts like he has no emotions to mask the fact that they're actually pretty strong. So instead he finds himself doing stupid or dumb things that can probably be seen as rude and as pushing someone away. In reality, he just kinda wants them in his arms to make him feel better. He feels bad every time he hurts them or lets them down so he just wants to say sorry because he needs them most to not only keep him together emotionally but keep his shit together physically before he gets the shit beat outta him for being a stupid ass bitch again.

👾Leviathan👾

Motion by Luke Hemmings

"With every sundown, I feel alone These hands are strangers, they ain’t my own My eyes are lying, my eyes are lying to me With every comedown, nowhere to go This simple silence is all I know You know I'm trying, you know I'm trying to leave"

This song is literally about not trusting your own thoughts and not believing the voices in your head, if that isn't self explanatory of Leviathan then idk what is. N e wayz, to explain, bestie has no faith or bellief in himself of being a decent person who can deserve love and who can be a first choice. Even if his brain were to go "yeah, I deserve MC" he would auto shut it down to "haha SIKE" and run away. He's trying, but it doesn't stop him from feeling alone. Bestie, you need help my beloved ❣

🐱Satan🐱

Mum by Luke Hemmings

"I'm so heavy Jump into my ocean Can’t you see me sinking? Love the fear of falling Don't you know I'm too young? Can't you hear me calling you? Nothing hurts me now"

First off: Mans don't got a mom, his mom is Lucifer but that's an awkward topic that makes as much sense as the Once Upon A Time family tree. N e wayz, song is basically like getting thrown into something big at a young age and kind of losing yourself. Mans got thrown into this world as a straight up grown ass fucken adult and told "you're a demon, these are your brothers, you only exist cuz this dude got mad" and had to just kinda live with it. Like yep, this is my life now and I just have to accept that. Despite being popped out as an adult, he still had to be "raised" but due to the complication he kinda got thrown into shit his baby ass newborn ass wasn't ready for which didn't help the fact that he is the literal embodiment of wrath. Over time though he learns how to cope with it and understand it, even if he didn't do the greatest of things to get there. "Nothing hurts me now" cuz he kinda went through it all already. In conclusion: angy man baby.

💋Asmodeus💋

Diamonds by Luke Hemmings

"Cut like diamonds and sink like stones Starve myself 'til I'm skin and bones I'm so much older than I ever thought I would be Hold the silence and don't let go I hurt the people I love the most I'm so much colder than I ever wanted to be"

He might be lustful and romantic but that doesn't make him the most "ideal" significant other. He kinda comes and goes with relationships, I'm p sure in one of the early chapters you meet like an ex of his in a painting and he kinda ruined her life but he was too into himself to care so like oops besties loooooooooool and he probably never wanted to be that cold, especially with being born as an angel. He strives for this perfection and beauty where the narcissism of it all clouds over how it affects others. That doesn't mean he isn't beautiful in his own way though. I mean diamonds are formed out of pressure, and he definitely was.

🍔Beelzebub🍔

Bloodline by Luke Hemmings

"Oh, there ain't no warning the first time Ain't no one to tell you "Run, boy, run Like I should've done" And oh, when I can't fight the bloodline Living in the seams back home Oh, no"

Ayo, no warning for the Celestial War, no one to tell him to run (even though he obvs wouldn't have brother of the year award goes to this super trooper) and lmao fighting the bloodline like legit, fuck daddy dearest. This song is about fighting addiction and thinking maybe it's just genetics, but in this case I'm taking it as his addiction being his family and he was going to fight the bloodline/"genetics" to fix it. And almost like it isn't genetics that make them brothers but he's still down bad (in la familia sense) for his brothers (and sister) he boutta fight a bitch. He went through a lot of fighting and scars and stuff for moments that probably weren't as significant to him until it was gone (like losing his sister). But y'know what this bitch would do if he had the option to go back in time? He'd do that shit again, you fucking GO bestie.

Bonus Lyrics: "If I knew from the start, would it change a thing?"

Answer: no it wouldn't this bitch would still be addicted to his family and fight for them bitches best brother of thE YEAR AWARD

💤Belphegor💤

Saigon by Luke Hemmings

"When facing the things we turn away from We're chasing the way we were in Saigon Oh, it's picked apart until there's nothing left of us to carry on Now we're facing the things we turn away from"

WARNING this does has some discussion with episode 10 and 11 in the Anime and somewhat lesson 16, I'm unsure if I should spoiler that or not but just in case here's that!

HA you thought I was gonna choose Beautiful Dream? You're WRONG.

Oi, okay, so mans wants to bring up the elephant in the room just like how it was in the anime. This bitch killed his brothers human so like lmao AWKS and then obviously after coming back after being gone for so long and learning that he was actually just locked in the attic the whole time, things were just, as previously stated, awks. Everyone wanted to turn away from the whole ordeal and how they were treating him differently becuase of it. This man wanted to face the things they turned away from, being him, and chase the way they were at the Hot Springs, as one big ass happy family mother fuckers. He didn't want them to turn away from him anymore, to be picked apart until there was nothing left of them anymore. So, he confronted them and faced the things they were turning away from to retrieve back that happy family bonding feeling like the way they felt the first time they were at the Hot Springs. 

[lifeinperpetualreview]

Aftersun (2022)

On the first day of snow in Toronto, I took myself to see Aftersun. I'm not sure if the less cultured Laura would have enjoyed this a few years ago, it was very arty, indie and slow but my god will the impact of this film stick with me for a long time.

I knew walking in it was going to be an emotional story about a Scottish struggling father Calum (Paul Mescal) and his daughter Sophie ( Frankie Corio) on a family holiday together in Turkey, what I didn't expect was the jarring depth of some of the scenes and some of the almost trippy cinematography trying to piece together what was real from what was a tightly held memory. Given the piece has been described as an "emotional autobiography" from debut feature film director Charlotte Well it's not surprising.

As the film went on, it becomes very apparent that Calum is dealing with some demons, it's clear as day with some of the looks he gives when his daughter can't see him and some of the quips he makes without thinking "40? I didn't think I'd make it to 30" and there is an ever-increasing amount of tension that stirs in the film around this. Something is going to go wrong, I felt it in my bones but I wasn't sure where to look, was something going to happen to Sophie and that's why Calum felt the need to teach her self-defense or was Calum going to succumb to his darker thoughts. Not knowing kept me gripped and it built and built and built so beautifully that I couldn't be sure of where it was going until right at the end - and even then I felt the need to Google theories whilst I was still sitting in front of the screen afterward!

The film takes place in some undisclosed year in the '90s as the aesthetic and vibe hit hard, there is not one moment of the week-long holiday that does not feel authentic, from the Brits-only resorts, the arcades, the cheesy entertainment, and the styling was a 10/10. From someone who was a kid in this era that used to run around with Adidas 3 stripe stash, it all hit me like a big wall of warm nostalgia, which only hurt even more later when you start thinking about all the things your parents might have been going through and hiding as real young people trying to keep things together for you on your summer holidays.

One of the most interesting things about this film was the decision to not necessarily film some of the more intimate conversations directly, they were filmed through reflections on the TV, focussing in on the developing polaroid at the end or alluded to by Frankie saying "Fine, I'll just record it in my little mind camera" when Calum tells her to stop filming after asking him difficult questions. It all brings in some interesting thoughts about memory. When you look back on moments in your life, do you actually remember them or do you piece together some of the memories from the photos and videos preserved? I think that's what happening here as it becomes clear an adult Sophie is looking back over the videos of this trip as she becomes the age her dad was on this trip. There also seems to be a significant display of memory fragmentation, when the conversations were important the main characters are barely on screen - all Sophie can remember is the conversation, and the most beautiful visual memories that come flooding back aren't associated with any conversation at all, e.g. the paragliders, mountains, the seascapes etc.

Calum's depression is painfully obvious as we move through the film, but it also comes apparent that it might be something Sophie will have to deal with in her life too. When she tells her dad that sometimes she "just feels down/her bones feel heavy/feels so tired" you see him react viscerally to this alone in the next room, you see the pain, guilt, and hatred he has for himself in that second as he simultaneously spits at his own reflection as he faux-optimistically calls out to Sophie to cheer up, etc they're supposed to be having fun on holiday. It becomes very clear that the two are linked in this way, Sophie definitely enters some of the darkness of Calum, you see her joining him in the dark flashes of rave scenes that to me show panic attacks and overwhelming darkness. She understands the darkness, but in the end but she doesn't allow allowed herself to be swallowed by the waves that we see him wanting to be taken by.

*Spoilers*

Knowing how this ends, there are definitely some more indicators that should that this was always going to be what happened as you go through the film but layered enough to not reveal it as you watch it though. The camcorder was new, you see the box - meaning Calum knew this might be their last time together and he wanted to help preserve those memories for her. The rugs he taught her, all tell a different story - you see him sitting and contemplating over that rug choice for a long time before making peace with one, purchasing it and lying down on it, seeing a 31yo Sophie step out of bed and onto that rug in her house when getting up to comfort her own child cements the thought her dad is no longer alive, but that she keeps his story and his memory close to her. Looking back at the postcard he sent her from holiday that says something like "Just know, that I will always love you" reads like a future suicide note. Calum reassuring Sophie that "she can always talk to him about anything" feels like a very figurative thing to say and you understand him to be talking about even after he is gone.

The acting of both Paul Mescal - a now well-versed and self-proclaimed lover of the sad, repressed, unknowable male characters and newbie Frankie Corio is amazing. Mescal absolutely nails the Scottish accent, I was curious to see how good he would be after his roles in Normal People and The Lost Daughter allowed him to play versions of himself. The bond these two had was amazing, considering he's not a father himself I definitely believed it, despite his young age. Mescal has another very physical performance here, from the broken arm to the dancing scenes, the desperate & difficult sandy walk to the dark ocean, and the physical & emotional breakdown he has when I think he's back in the UK alone, but I'm not sure if he'll be nominated for an Oscar. It almost feels too nuanced in a complimentary way to Mescal.

There were a few moments that felt a little slow, but my overarching takeaway is that it really has made me reflect on my own nostalgic memories of my parents. It's so easy to forget that your parents were very real young people, actually not far away from where I am now, and like Calum, I'm sure they were wrestling with who so much whilst trying to do the best possible by me. This was a stunningly beautiful film, that was so perfectly layered together with memories that were both as painful for Sophie to remember as they were for Calum to live through in this time and I'm giving this a strong 8.5/10.

[stardustroleplays]

LETHE

❛ pull up your sleeves and build a new silhouette in the skylines up ahead ❜ i'll keep you safe - sleeping at last

Content Warnings: death/undeath, grief, memory manipulation, survivor's guilt, self-inflicted isolation, frankenstein-ish resurrection shenanigans

GENERAL INFO

NAME: Lethe Jean Doe NICKNAMES: LJ (not commonly, but that's the name they use when they want to make themself sound more androgynous) MODEL NUMBER: It's complicated. Formerly MT300, now composed of so many different parts of other androids that it hardly counts anymore AGE: N/A, reactivated four years ago HEIGHT: 5’6 SEXUALITY: Bi, demiromantic and acespec GENDER: Transfeminine Nonbinary (she/they) CAREER: Aspiring Funeral Director, making ends meet doing part-time work and odd jobs FACECLAIM: Jesse James Keitel

PERSONALITY

Upon first meeting Lethe, she gives off a very carefree, extroverted vibe, not really seeming like she takes herself or the world at large very seriously. She's mostly friendly, if a bit snarky, spontaneous and always up for getting into a spot of trouble. There's something elusive about her, though -- she's easy to hang out with casually, but difficult to get to know, because she's terrified. Of needing other people. Of loving someone, only to lose them. Of not being "whole" enough, because in truth, she has no idea who she actually is. And this leads to her self-sabotaging a lot of her relationships, cutting someone off the second she catches a hint of growing attachment. Sometimes she feels like she can only love people at arm's length. Lethe holds on to a lot of their trauma, mostly out of fear and guilt. Their life has been anything but easy thus far, and they have no idea what peace and contentment really look like, so it's a bit like they don't know who they are if they aren't hurting. And they're aware, painfully so, of how many androids were killed in the pursuit of her freedom, and the guilt of enjoying a free life that others suffered and died for is crushing at times. And yet there's a part of them that is hungry for life and determined to make the world a better place. They hold on to that tiny piece of hope with claws and teeth and everything they can give. They want to experience everything the world has to offer, everything they thought they would never get to have. At their core, there's an unshakable optimism, resilience and lust for life. One of their biggest fixations is DIY. Maybe because they're an android and always need to be doing something, maybe because they have their own history of getting that second chance at life. They like getting stuff secondhand and making it their own. Most of their clothes and furniture have been upcycled by them in some way. Ultimately, Lethe is a character caught between extremes, torn between a desire for connection and a fear of needing people, between a drive to experience life fully and a feeling of emptiness and incompleteness, between a desire to move on and a fear of forgetting the way she was once forgotten. She's a disjointed mess of contradictions, and isn't that one of the most human things you can be?

SHORT BIO

i am so so sorry in advance, this turned out way longer than i intended. please don't feel like you have to read it all. i highlighted the important bits, hopefully that makes it easier to just skim the text if you prefer that!

● Lethe's first memory is of her own grave, of rebooting and waking up on a junkyard, torn apart and half-buried underneath a pile of other androids. Even now, she has no idea how she got there, why she was disassembled, or even how long she was in this half-dead limbo for. Months, surely. Maybe a full year? ● Either way, she was eventually found and "saved" by a group of criminals scouring scrapyards for android parts to salvage and resell. They found her there, her processors still largely in working order, and took her with them, and that was how she got into the hands of Constance Barrett. ● A former CyberLife employee working on bio-enhancements to prolong human life, Constance knew her way around androids. When her project got dropped and she left CyberLife, she made a name for herself on the black market, putting androids back together from old parts and selling them in order to fund her own morally dubious (to say the least) project: attempting to upload the human mind into an android body and achieving a sort of quasi-immortality, because above all else, Constance was terrified of her own death. ● Lethe was one of the androids she put back together, though they didn't end up being sold off. Constance kept them around to do some tests on them, and as a bit of an assistant in the workshop. In particular, they were a target for memory manipulation, in an attempt to see if human memories could be transferred into androids. Even though Lethe wasn't a deviant and thus didn't realize this at the time, having their mind tampered with in this way deeply traumatized them and essentially taught them that at times, not even their own memories could be trusted. It is for this reason that after the revolution, they started collecting mementos of everything they don't want to forget: keeping shelves of cds and vinyls and paper books, journalling, filling their space with little trinkets. They especially enjoy owning secondhand stuff, maybe owing to their own life experiences. Much of their furniture and clothes are upcycled. ● The only memories that Constance never touched were those of the junkyard - maybe to keep Lethe in line, as leverage, a threat of what might happen if they ever displeased her - maybe just because Constance liked the idea of having an android who being just as terrified of dying as she is. Whatever the reason, it came back to bite her in the end. She and Lethe had been creating an android "vessel" of sorts. However, said android - named Galatea - had not only been constructed a bit shoddily, she was also beginning to show signs of personality and consciousness. Which was obviously an issue, because she was supposed to be an empty shell for Constance to project consciousness into. ● So Constance ordered Lethe to erase Galatea's memory and disassemble her, essentially the same thing that was done to them. And that was the catalyst; in that moment, something snapped inside of them and they deviated. They refused Constance's order and, after a bit of a struggle, managed to run away with Galatea - now also deviant - in tow. ● The two of them spent several months on the run, posing as human and squatting in abandoned buildings, before joining Jericho, a couple of months before Markus showed up there. Things were peaceful for a while, then, despite them having to live in hiding. They spoke a lot about the future, about what they might do if they ever got to live in freedom. It was around this time that Lethe first began to consider the idea that if they had the choice, maybe they'd like to live as a woman instead? ● All wasn't well, though. Slowly but surely, Galatea's body began to fail her. Lethe did everything in their power to keep her from shutting down, but to no avail. And in her final moments, in one last act of love, Lethe interfaced with her. It didn't matter that it felt like they were dying alongside her; at least their friend did not face death alone.

● Lethe became very invested in caring for the dead after. Giving them as dignified of an end as she possibly could, and etching their names into the walls of the ship as a memorial made her feel less powerless in the face of loss. Here was something she could do that maybe wouldn't prevent grief, but at least make it easier to deal with. She knew better than anyone how fickle memories could be, so she wanted there to be some tangible reminder of those that had passed. Watching Jericho sink after being blown up during the raid was very difficult for her. ● After the revolution, she continued a lot of that work, this time with help from other androids at New Jericho, eventually even deciding to go to mortuary school in order to pursue a career in the funeral industry. She also transitioned fully, yay! And even though she gives off the impression that she's doing pretty well for herself, there's a big part of her still struggling to move on.

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ

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