#but I’d rather drive 14 minutes then wait a couple days for some company to pick up my donation clothes

[lilgynt]

i know the roaches own my house but like i’m paying them rent kind of own it

[oldsoldierr]

The Carnation ~ Part 2

summary: the media always told you that the famous art critic bucky barnes is an arrogant, rude playboy and you agree, but something still draws you to him. is there a deeper reason to why he acts the way he does or is he the class A jackass you first met?

art critic!bucky x artist!reader

word count: about 2.1k

series masterlist ~ part 1

After your startling realization that you just might have a crush on a certain Bucky Barnes, you tried your best to just ignore it. You told yourself that your feelings would go away after not seeing him for the rest of your life. You just assumed that after he left that day it would be the end of it. 

But then he did the worst thing you could’ve possibly imagined. He came back to the studio. Everyday in fact. You had never known someone so frustrating. 

Every day he’d come in, insult something, and sit on whichever side of you wasn’t occupied by Steve. Bucky would just sit there annoying you for however long he was there, occasionally walking over to Sharon’s area or making conversation with Steve. How did this busy man always find time to be the worst?

One time after a particularly rough day, you complained, “Why won’t you just sit by Steve?” He just smiled at you innocently.

“Well, how’m I supposed to bother you when you’re a whole seat away from me?” You stared at him blankly for a good 5 minutes. You lost 12 brain cells that day.

You decided you’d need a new plan once you realized he actually wasn’t going anywhere. After considering hiring some pest patrol or just hitting him with a brush you decided on just trying to avoid him.

It’s too bad that it was near impossible because, not only did he insist on moving seats to wherever you moved, but after a couple of weeks of Bucky coming to the art studio, Steve had to leave town for some business meetings.

“It’s gonna be fine!” Steve insisted. 

Your car reached the airport.

“You guys know each other well enough to be by yourselves for two weeks.”

“I do not! We’re barely acquaintances! All he does in the studio is bother me or flirt,” you retorted. “I legitimately don’t think he’s picked one pencil up since he first started coming.”

“That’s not true! He picked up a pencil once to throw it at you,” he pointed out. You barked out a laugh.

“Really helping your case here,” you said sarcastically.

“Hey,” Steve looked at you and squeezed your shoulder reassuringly. “It’s gonna be okay.” You took a deep breath.

“I really hope so.” You gave the blonde a nervous smile. 

“Anyways, I don’t matter right now. Go be amazing at your meeting and when you get the client you have to give me half the money!” You changed the subject.

“Fuck no!” Steve laughed. You continued to chat as you parked the car and began helping Steve get out his luggage. With each second the realization that you weren’t going to see Steve for 14 days hit you harder. Once his suitcases were all out you gave him a bittersweet look.

“I’m really gonna miss you.” You engulfed him in a hug. He hugged back.

“It’s only for two weeks and I’ll call you,” he soothed. You pulled away and rocked back and forth on your heels.

“You promise?” The blonde chuckled.

“Mhm, I’ll even pinky promise,” he said with a teasing smile. You gave him a faux pout.

“You’re mean. I change my mind. I’m not gonna miss you.” You jokingly walked away but you knew you were only trying to delay him leaving. Steve caught on.

“Well, I gotta go now y/n/n,” he said. You sighed.

“I know…” You acknowledged sadly but didn’t show your true emotions for long.

“Good luck! Go kick ass!” You continued with forced excitement.

He put his hands on each side of your shoulders. 

“It’s really gonna be okay,” he assured. He turned around and started walking to the airport.

You nodded as Steve left. But your smile dropped as soon as you were out of his view. Steve had been your only friend since you moved to Brooklyn and had never been without him this long. You massaged the bridge of your nose.

How the fuck am I gonna survive this?

~~~

If you’re being honest, your drive back was rather depressing. You didn’t even bother turning on the radio. You just drove with a tight expression on your face trying to make your anxieties go away, but they just wouldn’t stop. Your brain was pounding. 

You had sulk-driven in silence around a third of the way back without even noticing. That’s when you felt your phone vibrate and the familiar chiming ringtone of a call. 

You glanced down quickly at the screen to see an unknown number. You thought about just ignoring it since you got spam often and you know, you were driving. It probably would’ve been the wiser thing to do but you were bored and miserable so you thought, what the hell. You heard the beep as you pressed the accept call button.

“Hello?” You half expected to get an automated message telling you that you had won an amazon gift card and that you needed to tell them your credit card number immediately. Instead, it was a rich, deep voice you had heard far too many times before.

“Hey y/n,” Your eyes widened so much you were afraid they might fall out.

“Bucky?” you choked out. You could practically see his smug little face.

“Yes ma’am,” he replied obediently. There was an unending amount of thoughts swirling through your head faster than you could calculate. The first question that entered your mind was, “How did you get this number?” Something rustled from the other end before bucky responded.

“I hacked into your phone and took it,” He said sarcastically. You raised your eyebrows.

“Haha, very funny. But seriously, did Steve give it to you?” Bucky hesitated and answered.

“Yeah.--” He selected his words with caution. “--...he thought you might need some company.” From the deliberate phrasing he chose, you deduced that Steve had told him about you being a lonely fuck. You internally groaned.

“S’ one way to put it,” you mumbled.  “Thank you for your consideration but I don’t feel like being pitied right now.” Bucky fake laughed.

“Like I’d ever pity you,” he said like it was a hilarious joke. 

“It’s more babysitting.” You suddenly remembered you were talking to Bucky Barnes and bit your lip in exasperation. 

“Fuck you, Bucky,” you snapped back. You knew you had made a mistake far too late.

“Only if you want me too,” he sang back, overjoyed at the opportunity to make the joke.

You threatened, “I will hang up your ass faster than you can say pumpkin pie is the worst pie.” The brunette fucking laughed.

“Mmm, so first of all, it’s not, it’s the best thing on earth, and second, then why haven’t you hung up yet?” You didn’t really have an answer to give him that wasn’t “I love your voice and I want to kiss you”. You swiftly came up with an excuse.

“Cause I need to drive idiot.”

More noise erupted from Bucky’s side. Your eyes narrowed, confused.

“Where are you right now? It sounds like a zoo on your end.” You heard the brunette talking to someone before he returned to you.

“Hmm? Oh, I’m at an art museum.” You scrunched your brows together. What’s he doing at an art museum at 11:30pm? You wondered. You felt like you had heard something about this before, but couldn’t put your finger on it. Another couple seconds of idle insults were held between the two of you. Then, as if to answer you you hear someone distantly say, “Thank you for coming to the Party in the Garden, please take a…” You gasp. That’s what you were trying to remember! 

“You’re at the fucking biggest MoMA fundraiser of the year and you’re talking to me? You’re so much dumber than I thought you were.” This man was truly unbelievable. But you had to admit it did feel nice that he was blowing off the party for you. 

“There are some really important people there, what are you doing on your phone?” you scolded. He hummed in response.

“In my defense, it’s kind of your fault I’m on my phone.” Bucky pointed out.

“I-- wh-” you stuttered at this guy’s nerve. “How is it my fault? You called me!”

“Yeah cause you don’t have any friends. That’s why Steve made me call you, right?” Bucky sneered. From his tone, it seemed like he realized how much that hurt you. This fucking man. Your voice rose.

“Oh, I don’t have any friends? Like you can talk, the person with only fake friends.” You said defensively. “None of them actually like you, they like your status, you know,”  You snapped in return. By his silence, clearly you had struck a chord with him. This conversation went from 1 to 100 real quick. He grunted.

“At least I even have fake friends. Do YOU have any? Oh that's right, you don’t, you’re all. fucking. Alone. And I don’t doubt for a minute that you deserve it,” he bit back. Oh, he was gonna be like that. You scoffed before going off.

“Oh I deserve it? Look at yourself. You always pretend you’re the best, walk around like you're royalty. Well, I’ve seen how you really are, you aren’t worth a damn thing.” Bucky went to interrupt but you weren’t done. “You’re an insecure, cowardly bitch who insults others to make yourself feel better about yourself. Do you wanna know what people say behind your back? They say you’re annoying and arrogant. A selfish ass playboy who doesn’t deserve a fucking thing he gets, goddamn cuck,” You exploded, taking a deep breath. 

There were so many emotions rocking around your head it was getting hard to think clearly. Cars beeped at you as you began to drift. The phone was silent before Bucky spoke again. It was surprisingly quiet and vulnerable.

“That’s what you think?” You realized what you had said.

“I-- no-I didn’t--” This time he cut you off.

“It’s fine,” he replied sharply. “I understand--” He let out a breath. 

“I won’t bother you again.” 

“No, wait--!” With a loud beep, the line went dead. 

You groaned. 

Shit. 

You hit your hand on the dashboard. 

Stupid, stupid, you scolded yourself.

You tried to make excuses for saying those things but you couldn’t. Most of them weren’t even true. You felt like a monster.  You yelled in frustration. You couldn’t even call anyone to talk about it. Steve was on a plane and your other friends were asleep in your hometown. You wished you had never answered that call. You wished you hadn’t been such an idiot. 

The rest of the ride back felt even colder than it had beforehand. The busy city of Brooklyn passed you by. The lights and the noise you had dreamed about as a kid felt dull and melancholic. 

Fuck the American dream. 

You arrived at your apartment around an hour later. You pulled up in front of the building and walked up to your floor like there was a pile of bricks on your back. You fiddled with your keys before finding the right one and walked inside your apartment. You collapsed onto the couch and screamed into a cushion. 

I should call him back and apologize, you thought. But from the little time you spent with Bucky Barnes, you knew he didn’t forgive that easily. 

How did this all go to shit so fast? Your conversation had started so nicely. Maybe even playfully flirty if you squinted.

You didn’t get a chance to wallow in your self-pity for long as your phone rang again for the second time that night. You grabbed hopefully at the phone thinking it might be Bucky, but it wasn’t. Your wishful thinking seemed it was just that cause it was another random number.

You placed it face down back on the couch and let it ring out. For half a minute the ringtone that you began to resent sang it’s melody. You didn’t have the heart to stop it though, as it went to voicemail. You were planning on completely ignoring it but your conscience wouldn’t let you. What if it was important?

You sighed as you unlocked your phone and clicked on the play button on the voicemail. As the person on the other side kept speaking, you felt like your heart was going further into your throat. You couldn’t breathe and your hands shook.

“Ms. y/l/n, this is NYU Langone Health, you need to come to the hospital as soon as possible. James Buchanan Barnes has been in an accident.”

writing this series is pretty fun but i miss going outside and seeing real people :’)

series masterlist

[aliceslantern]

Give/Take, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 14

Ienzo has been too busy since the war to be overwhelmed by the past. But with little progress to be made in his work with Kairi, old nightmares start to invade.

Riku is a glorified housesitter. Lonely and faced with no choice but to wait for a way to find his friends, he eagerly accepts when Ienzo asks him to help do repairs around the castle. Before long, the two strike up an unlikely friendship, united by their dark pasts and their attempts to be better people.

But just as they begin to consider something more... Kairi wakes up.

Ienzoku (Ienzo/Riku), post-Melody of Memory, slow burn. Updates Thursdays until it's done.

Chapter summary:  Ienzo and Riku continue to pass the time together. Ienzo realizes something about their relationship.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

The next few days settled into a mostly peaceful rhythm. Riku showed him more of the island sights; they spent most of a full day with Kairi shopping in the bazaar. Ienzo met a few more of Riku’s other friends as well, and like his parents, they were somewhat mystified by his “alien” presence. Already Even had messaged him asking him when he would be done “lazing about” and when he could be expected back, but Ienzo hadn’t responded. He didn’t want to think about Radiant Garden right now.

He knew at some point he’d have to tell Riku the whole ugly truth of his past, and while he knew Riku was unlikely to vilify him for it, he nonetheless wasn’t looking forward to it. He was content in their soft, sweet bubble, in this reality that they were just a normal couple.

They made out often and tried touching each other several more times, and each time Ienzo would draw so awfully close to just coming already. Riku tried doing it a few different ways, but it really did seem to be his mind stopping it all from… functioning. Ienzo wondered if at some point he’d just get so pent up his body would win the fight. He hoped it would happen soon; all of these hours spent getting hot and bothered and going nowhere was practically making him ache.

Riku said that day was “cooler”, so they would go to this mysterious falls at last. “It’s a hike, but an easy one,” he told Ienzo. They took the bus (which itself was a fascinating and strangely nostalgic experience; he couldn’t be sure if he had vague memories of taking a streetcar with Even) to the trailhead, and when Ienzo looked up at the incline he almost balked. At least this all seemed to be shaded by trees. This might be easy for Riku, who was physically fit and had probably gone through far harder on his journeys.

But Ienzo was a sedentary researcher.

Noticing his trepidation, Riku squeezed his hand. “I promise the first part’s the hardest, and then it all gets really gradual. It’s worth it, I swear.”

“It better be. You may be carrying me out on a stretcher.”

True to form, the first incline was utterly nightmarish. Between the humid air and his general softness, Ienzo was struggling to breathe, and he felt like a quitter every time he had to ask for a break. There was not a part of him that wasn’t sweaty, and he found himself glad he’d actually bought a pair of decent climbing shoes like Riku had advised. He actually felt dizzy. At the top, he had to sit and rest against a rock. Riku didn’t even look out of breath. “You okay?” he asked, cautiously.

“I’m alive,” Ienzo said, still gasping. “Barely.” Once he had caught some semblance of breath, and drank down some water, they kept going. It was easier, but not as easy as he’d hoped, and he found it hard to appreciate the wildlife. Ienzo tried to push through the pain. At first he thought the noise he heard came from his heart throbbing in his ears, but it turned out to be the falls. At last, at long last, they reached the peak.

And Ienzo understood. “Oh,” he said, softly.

“It’s thought that the islands formed out of the magma from volcanic explosions,” Riku said, in a low voice. “That volcano is right there. But over time… and I’m sure you understand the science of it better than I do, the volcano became a spring.”

“Oh,” Ienzo said, utterly losing eloquence. Suddenly it didn’t matter that he was hot and sweaty and nauseous and his legs would be aching for days.

He’d seen a lot in his days as Zexion. But again, he’d never been there to be a tourist, to appreciate the worlds he was trying to strike down.

There were crystal and mineral patterns in the falls caldron all the way down, in at least a dozen colors, glimmering faintly in the diffuse sunlight. The freshwater flowed from the top, almost deafeningly loud, to a large pool at the bottom, the water a slight bluish color from the minerals. Ienzo could see a manmade path weaving all the way down, a wooden safety rail lining it. The water washed up onto a shore of black sand.

Riku took out his phone. “Want a picture of you with it?”

“I’m sure I look awful.”

“You look like you’ve conquered something.”

Ienzo rolled his eyes. “Only if you’ll join me.”

It took a bit of fineagaling to get an image that was halfway decent. This settled, they started making their way down. “Weird, normally this place is packed,” Riku said. Only a few people were down swimming in the caldron. “Oh well. I won’t question it.”

“It’s the semifinals,” Ienzo said. “Your father was talking about it.”

He laughed. “Design by accident.”

The walk down was fairly easy, but Ienzo dreaded the climb up, then down again. He’d worn his bathing suit, at least. They had a quick, simple lunch. At least here by the water it was mercifully cool, and Ienzo nearly moaned aloud when they finally eased in. Considering it was springwater, it was cold, but a welcome cold. The water had a slightly metallic tang against his lips.

“Worth it after all?” Riku asked, smirking.

“God, yes.”

They floated here a while, just enjoying the water and each other’s company. Eventually Ienzo felt brave enough to explore by the falls, where the water got deeper. The mist threw up so much light that the bands of rock glimmered.

At some point they had to leave, though, and by that point with the hike up and the swimming Ienzo was exhausted. Considering aside from the climb out of the caldron it was all basically downhill, Ienzo hoped this would be easier.

It wasn’t. This side of the trail was less shaded, for example, and the heat felt all the more brutal now that he was reasonably cool. His calves were starting to cramp, his nausea had returned, and now on top of it he was starting to feel weirdly faint, trying to figure out why.

“Ienzo?” Riku prompted, but his voice sounded like it was underwater.

The next thing he was aware of, his head was in Riku’s lap and there was a cold cloth over his face. Riku was on the phone, his voice shaky. “Yeah, dad, the trailhead. No, I don’t think I need any help. Thanks a bunch.”

He blinked and tried to sit up, feeling weaker still.

“Easy. Easy. I thought the stretcher thing was a joke.”

“It was,” Ienzo said. “I’m sorry. I’m fine now.”

“No, you’re not,” Riku said, sternly. “You’ve got heat exhaustion. If you keep pushing it it’ll get worse. Drink this.” He handed him a bottle of water. “You’re probably dehydrated too.” He dabbed the sweat off of Ienzo’s face.

Ienzo did, realizing how thirsty he was. “I tried to be careful.”

“No, it’s my fault. The island heat really is brutal, and you’re not used to exercise like that.” He sighed. “Even if you were careful your body still got overwhelmed.”

“And not in the way I’d like,” he muttered.

“Gather your strength for a few minutes. I used Cure on you, but you should still take it easy. My dad’ll drive us back. I wonder if we should take you to a doctor--”

Ienzo felt mortified. “I don’t think that’s necessary. The bus is fine.”

“I don’t want us to wait out in the heat more than we have to.”

Ienzo exhaled. Somehow this felt like another thing he had failed at.

“Really, Ienzo, this even happens to islanders,” Riku tried to reassure him. “I should’ve known better.”

“At least we got a pretty picture out of it.”

When he was finally strong enough to carry on, it felt late. They weren’t all that far from the road at this point. Riku had wanted to carry him, but Ienzo drew the line there. He was more grateful than he wanted to let on that Matsuda was waiting for them.

“Hey, you’re a true islander now,” his father said, in an attempt to lighten the mood. “It’s happened to all of us at some point or another.”

“I told you,” Riku said.

Ienzo wished he could enjoy riding in a car more. It was smaller, lower to the ground, than the bus, and much cooler inside. “Thanks for this. I’m sorry to interrupt your workday.”

“Ah, I had to run an errand anyway,” he said blithely. “You don’t think we need to go to the--”

“No, no, please, I’ll be alright,” Ienzo said quickly.

Ienzo was still feeling a bit dizzy. He had to cling to the banister to get up the stairs. Riku insisted he lie down. His skin felt hot, strangely enough. Riku tugged the curtains shut. He heard Riku leave the room and then come back a few moments later with something pink in a mason jar. “Here. This’ll help. Mom’s recipe. It happens all the time to the neighborhood kids.”

Ienzo sipped. He tasted more coconut, some other fruit, and below it all the oily slickness of potion. “I’m so sorry. I ruined the day.”

“No, this is on me. I should’ve known you’d push yourself and not say anything, cause I would’ve done the same thing.” He sighed. “Drink it all. I’ll get you more.”

The juice helped, though he didn’t feel good by any stretch. He wanted to get changed, to get cleaned up, but he just felt weak and exhausted. “If you’re tired, rest,” Riku told him.

“If you’d rather go do something while I’m just lying here--”

“No,” he said, firmly.

After two jars of the juice, Ienzo fell asleep, and wondered if it was something in the medicine. When he woke at last, he realized it had been hours, and the early morning sun was peeking out between the curtains. Dazedly, he looked around for Riku, found him nowhere.

Groggy, he took a shower and went to take the mason jar back to the main house. True to form, it hurt to walk, and he winced.

“Oh, Ienzo, how are you feeling?” Mariko asked, startling him.

“Much better,” he said. “Thank you for this.”

“I always keep a pitcher of it in the fridge in summer. Sometimes I swear the weather is only getting hotter.” She sighed.

“Where’s Riku?”

“Well, he came down a little while ago asking if I thought you needed anything else. I said maybe something nice for breakfast.” She smiled a little. “He should be back soon. Can I get you anything? Anything at all? You know what, I’ll go make some coffee.” She flounced off into the kitchen, her loose shawl fluttering behind her.

Ienzo found himself again looking at the photos on the mantle. Riku’s parents’ wedding day, photos of a younger Riku in school. Matsuda holding up a large fish, his son grinning toothily, the front two missing.

“...Here you are, dear,” Mariko said.

“Thank you so much,” he said.

“Why don’t we go sit on the patio while we wait? You can see the ocean.”

He followed her. The temperature, for some reason, felt much more bearable, despite the hot coffee. They sat on a pair of wicker chairs facing the small yard.

“Alright?” she asked him.

“I was just thinking it’s no longer so warm.”

She chortled. “That’s not true. You’re just forming a callus.”

“To the heat, you mean?”

“Yes. I thought this might happen. Riku was in a panic, Matsuda wanted to take you to the clinic. I’ve seen this before and I said you’ll be right as rain. And you lived, right?”

Ienzo sipped. “Thank god for that,” he muttered, shaking his head.

“Well. It has been nearly two weeks.”

“Already? The time is flying.” He almost said that if he were too much of a burden he would be happy to go stay elsewhere, but then he remembered that Mariko would find this rude. “Is there anything I can do to thank you for the welcome you’ve given me?”

“That’s not necessary.”

“I insist.”

She thought about it. “How about you make us one of your dinners, from your world? You explained, but I’m dying to know.”

Ienzo smiled. “That I can do.”

They both looked out at the ocean for a few minutes. Finally, Mariko said, “You’ve had a hard life, haven’t you?”

Ienzo looked at her. “What makes you say that?”

“You… and Riku. There’s a certain… darkness, in your eyes. Something a little haunted. At first, with him, I thought it was teenage angst. But I think he’s gone through a lot more than he lets on. You too.”

Ienzo blinked. “I suppose that is true,” he said. “This… beautiful life, the three of you live here. That all feels so abnormal to me.”

She nodded sadly.

“I’m… an orphan,” he admitted. “My adoptive family, well meaning as they initially were, did not raise me to live an average, happy life. It’s making me realize what I’ve missed.”

“I see,” she said. “Well. You’re always welcome in our family.”

Ienzo felt a sudden wave of teariness. “That’s very kind of you.”

After another moment, “you love him, don’t you?”

Ienzo took a quick breath. “I think so.”

She reached over and squeezed his hand once. “You’re good for each other.”

The back door opened. Riku was carrying a paper bag and a drinks carrier with what looked like smoothies. “Oh… Ienzo. You’re up. How do you feel?”

He looked at him. In the early morning sunlight, his silver hair carelessly braided over one shoulder, Ienzo knew. “Better. Much better.”

[incorrigible-rapscallion]

A SERIAL KILLER’S GUIDE TO MEN AND MANSLAUGHTER -- Script (pgs. 24-30)

[pgs 1-2; 3-7; 7-14; 14-23]

INT. HARRIET'S ENTRYWAY - LATE NIGHT

David, Achilles, and Harriet crowd together in the entryway, Harriet shucks off her opera coat with restless energy.

               AUNT HARRIET    That was certainly an evening. I haven't seen anyone so explosive and irate about a topic in quite some time. I admire that man's passion, but his tactics were more on par with schoolyard guerrilla warfare.

               DAVID    I think I'm going to turn in for the night, if you don't mind.

               AUNT HARRIET    Of course, bambino. Let me know if there is anything else you need.

David nods then shuffles up the stairs with Achilles. Harriet huffs and shakes her head with a small smile.

INT. GUEST BEDROOM - SAME TIME

The guest bedroom is styled like a Victorian farmhouse.

David collapses on the bed, fully clothed. Achilles whines, but David is already out cold.

MONTAGE: DREAMSCAPE #1

Images of David's interactions from the day's events replay on fast-forward in David's sleep. Each encounter is coupled with the observations that he jotted down in his notebook.

Thomas is the star of this dreamscape, as the meeting at the butchery begins at the same rapid pace as the other interactions, but slows down once it settles on the eye contact he made at the town hall.

A sequence of implausible scenarios involving Thomas in the act of killing someone are added to David's memory:

   -Thomas stabbing Mr. Lancaster like a grotesque greeting at the butchery    -Thomas slitting Lily's throat instead as he walks past her    -Thomas immediately rushing David into a strangle-hold, both at the butchery and as they crossed paths at the town hall

All of the killings are concluded by a flirtatious wink.

                                                                                               END OF MONTAGE

INT. GUEST BEDROOM - LATE AFTERNOON

David wakes sharply in an uncomfortable position, still dressed in his clothes from yesterday.

Light streams in David's eyes from the bedroom window. Harriet is in the room, opening the curtains.

               AUNT HARRIET    I was about to get the smelling salts if you didn't wake up. Normally, I wouldn't mind a reasonable bout of lethargy, but you have dinner with a fine and distinguished gentleman in the next thirty minutes.

David tosses and turns until Achilles comes to his bedside. David grunts in response and Harriet leaves the room.

INT. HARRIET'S ENTRYWAY - LATE AFTERNOON

David stands impassively as Harriet gives him a "once over."

               AUNT HARRIET    You and I both know that this is the change you came here for.

               DAVID    I didn't want to talk about that last night and I definitely don't want to talk about that now.

               AUNT HARRIET    Then talk about it with your date.

INT. RESTAURANT ENTRANCE - EARLY EVENING

David and Achilles stand in front of a RESTAURANT HOST. The place is whimsically styled after an Italian chateau.

               HOST    You're here for the reservation under "Harriet Truelove," yes? We were expecting you. The other member of your party is already seated.

David peruses the RESTAURANT PATRONS until he sees Thomas.

Once again, the ambient noises and other people fade away as David's breathing escalates. Achilles then calms him down.

Thomas locks eyes with David and smiles in recognition.

               HOST    If you'll follow me, sir?

               DAVID    I'd rather seat myself, if you don't mind.

INT. RESTAURANT - TABLE FOR TWO - EVENING

Thomas stands as David and Achilles approach the cozy table setting.

Achilles sniffs at Thomas' outreached hand and allows to be petted. Immediately, Achilles becomes docile and rolls over on the restaurant floor for a belly rub.

David watches, horrified, and stops breathing. This prompts Achilles to leap back up in order to lick at David's hand.

Once satisfied, Achilles lays down at David's feet. David gapes at this behavior and sits down at the table.

Thomas hovers with a cheerful expression before sitting too.

               THOMAS    I must admit, I had hoped you would be the mysterious stranger that Ms. Truelove was so adamant about my meeting. I was honest when you came in my shop--I am a dyed-in-the-wool fan of your work.

               DAVID    I suppose you feel that my characters are nuanced and my killers all have realistic motivations.

               THOMAS    Yes, but I feel that that is only skimming the surface when appreciating your writing techniques.

               DAVID    I'm flattered that you've spent so much time analyzing...me.

               THOMAS    Interesting, because you don't sound as though you're flattered.

               DAVID    I have a difficult time socializing and making small talk.

               THOMAS    I'm well aware of your background with your advocacy projects for children and students with special needs. I know that you yourself experienced a discriminatory education growing up.

               DAVID    "Discriminatory" is one way of putting it. Some would say "illegal" by today's standards.

A WAITER comes to the table to deliver a wine sampler tray and a shared appetizer plate.

Thomas gestures for David to eat first, but David declines.

               DAVID    I'm fine with water for now.

               THOMAS    Fair enough. But the tenderloin will pair nicely with the red, if you change your mind.

               DAVID    I take it the tenderloin comes from your own butchery?

               THOMAS    You caught me. I was hoping to impress you by picking a restaurant that exclusively uses my choice cuts. I also hope you don't mind that I ordered ahead for us.

               DAVID    I doubt that I have any choice in the matter anyway.

               THOMAS    Please understand, that wasn't my intention. I simply wanted to demonstrate that I am just as proficient in my own area of expertise as you are.

David takes some food from the appetizer, but doesn't eat it. Thomas picks at his own selection, eating delicately.

They remain in silence until the Waiter comes back to remove their dishes and set down their entree plates.

               THOMAS    I apologize if I said something to upset you in any way. I feel a little out of my element tonight.

               DAVID    You mean that you are able to charm everyone that you take out on a date?

               THOMAS    I confess that I actually don't date very often. I simply meant that dinners and lively discussions are usually my forte. It's why I wanted to be a butcher in the first place--I wanted to understand the fine details that make up a memorable meal.

               DAVID    That's a...tasteful answer.

               THOMAS    And you said you couldn't make small talk!

               DAVID    I really can't. The opportunity presented itself, so....

They lapse into silence again. David still keeps a stoic expression, but Thomas grins anytime they lock eyes.

Both dinner and dessert pass by. The Waiter delivers the check to Thomas for him to look over.

               THOMAS    It looks all good to go. My compliments to the chef.

The Waiter nods and leaves with check, without payment.

David pauses with his credit card and wallet out.

               DAVID    I assumed I would be paying for my half...?

               THOMAS    Of course not. This meal was on the house. All of mine are, considering...

               DAVID    I can at least leave the tip. It was excellent service.

               THOMAS    It always is.

David trades out his card for cash, places it on the table, then stands ungracefully with Achilles. Thomas follows suit.

               THOMAS    Even though this was a less-than-ideal date, I want you to know that I truly enjoyed your company. Perhaps I could convince you to take another chance?

               DAVID    Perhaps. In the meantime, I have some business to take care of. But I'll be sure to let know.

               THOMAS    That's all I could hope for. I'll be waiting.

David nods stiffly and exits with Achilles at his heels.

               DAVID        (mumbling)    Please don't.

EXT./INT. DAVID'S CAR - NIGHT - TRAVELING

David drives throughout the town of Pleasant Grove at night. Achilles sits in the passenger seat.

David white-knuckles the steering wheel and gear shift as neon store signs and street lamps pass over his troubled face.

MONTAGE: DREAMSCAPE #2

David, once again, replays images of day's events--this time featuring his blind date dinner.

Key images that David focuses on are:

   -Thomas seated at their table, waiting for David to arrive    -Achilles rolling on the floor with oddly docile behavior    -Thomas with a cheerful expression    -Thomas with a concerned expression    -Thomas with a vacant expression    -Thomas cutting into the meal's tenderloin with a steak knife

This segues into another sequence of implausible scenarios involving Thomas killing someone during their dinner:

   -Thomas breaking Achilles' neck while the dog waits for a belly rub    -Thomas grabbing the Waiter's pen and stabbing it in their neck    -Thomas lunging across the table to, once again, strangle David

Like before, all of the killings are concluded with a flirtatious wink.

                                                                                               END OF MONTAGE

David has stopped breathing and Achilles licks at his hand on the gear shift. David then pets Achilles' head, almost aggressively, as he calms down.

David notices that the lights are on inside the PLEASANT GROVE POLICE STATION as he approaches it at an intersection.

David abruptly pulls into the parking lot.

               DAVID        (to Achilles)    Let's do the fandango, buddy.

He exits the car with Achilles and single-mindedness.

[prettywordsyouleft]

The Sex Contract - Chapter 21

Genre: friends to lovers au / friends with benefits / mature content / romance / angst

Characters: Shim Changmin x Kaia Ashton (OC)

A/N: Due to the overwhelming request I have followed your encouragement to bring back one of my older stories. This was back in a time where OCs were everything and writing one chapter in each main’s point of view was the trend. I hope that even though I have edited this drastically, that you can appreciate this story comes from my older style of writing. I definitely still read this often and find it enjoyable so I hope you will too.

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 - FINAL

Chapter 21 – Changmin’s POV.

“Do I really have to?”

Changmin’s manager sighed heavily and placed both hands on Changmin’s shoulders. “Do you want me to lose my job? Of course, you have to.”

“But I’d rather cut my own hand off than spend another night with Kaori. I thought this was only a Japan thing.”

“Are you really that ignorant, kid? Of course, this was going to continue after the promotions, otherwise then the whole thing would look fake and enrage the fans more than you both hooking up.” The man looked at Changmin incredulously. “Seriously are you that naive?”

“Can I end it soon though?” Changmin begged, and the man waved him off. “Hyunggg!”

“Aegyo never has worked on me, Changmin.” He narrowed his eyes for a moment and then smiled. “And you’re just not a pretty little thing to keep me that entertained.”

“Unlike Kaia huh?” Yunho mentioned as he entered the room and Changmin gave his fellow member a filthy look. He was still enjoying Changmin’s pain too much.

The manager grinned. “Oh, she was the sweetest thing, always bringing me cups of coffee. A real cheerful girl she was. I even forgot she was foreign, she was that comfortable.” He turned his attention to Changmin and slapped his arm.

“Ow! Why is everyone hitting me lately?!”

“Just do your job, understand?” He left the room and Changmin looked over at Yunho now stretching to prepare for dance practice. He stalked across the room to the older man and Yunho paused his actions, standing back to his full height and giving Changmin an amused glance.

“Changmin?”

“Would you stop bringing her up? Every time I see Nayoung she’s always beating on me, don’t get him going too.”

“I was just stating a fact is all.” He casually slipped into a hamstring stretch. “Not my fault everyone’s blaming you for Kaia leaving, though it kind of is.”

“I’ve already told you that she’s the one who wants nothing to do with me!”

Yunho rolled his eyes. “Figured out why yet?”

“No, because I have to put up with irresponsible people like you trying to irritate me!”

“The irresponsible one is you for letting that silly agreement get out of control. I told you it would end like this.” Yunho chuckled. “You know Changmin; I love you as a brother, and know everything there is about you. It’s amusing that you can’t figure out what everyone else has.”

“Can’t you just tell me then?!” Changmin let out an angry huff of air and started stretching too.

Yunho shook his head and grinned. “Nope, that’s for you to uncover yourself.”

“Bastard!”

Changmin was beyond annoyed by the time he left work for the evening and headed across to the hotel Kaori was staying in to pick her up. His manager had insisted Changmin take his car, ensuring that he would be followed by reporters for high coverage. Changmin disliked the attention normally and being so outlandishly open about dating Kaori was really started to strike a nerve. He was sure that if this fake relationship didn’t end soon, he was going to slip up from all the anger it stacked within him. And he was already too frustrated with his personal life as it was to add anything further to the fire.

Driving up in front of the hotel, Changmin pulled out his phone and rung the Japanese model. She didn’t pick up immediately and he slammed his hand on the steering wheel, annoyed with how she had to take her time with everything. Finally, the call connected. “I’m sitting in front of the hotel, hurry up or I’m going without you.”

“Is that any way to speak to me Changmin?”

“I’ve had a really long day, and would rather go home and eat there. Does that indicate how much I want to talk to you right now?” Changmin sighed irritably.

“Testy,” she purred and giggled. “I feel tonight is going to be very interesting.”

“We’re going to the movies. That way your voice won’t get on my nerves for too long.”

“Oh, Changmin you really do know how to seduce a woman.” She giggled again. “I’ll be down in ten minutes.”

“Make it five or I’m leaving.” He ended the call and then switched on the radio, turning it up. A couple of valet boys glanced in his direction and Changmin shrugged. He was already bringing enough attention by just sitting here. Three songs went by and he decided that was more than enough time waiting for the demanding princess. A small smile crossed his lips at how mad Kaori would be if he drove off now. It was so tempting. He started the car up and glanced about the foyer, grinning childishly. It soon faded and was replaced with a scowl, the elegant woman walking in his direction.

“Changminnie!” She greeted as she got into the car, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. He didn’t know why she bothered with continuing the act behind the tinted windows but he simply ignored it, driving out of the area immediately. “I didn’t even have my seatbelt on!”

“Be thankful I hadn’t driven off, I was about to.”

“Ooh, you are very sour tonight,” she observed and smiled to herself. “It shall be up to me to make this change! What movie are we going to see? There’s a really good Korean romantic comed-”

“An English one,” Changmin cut in, hoping that would annoy her. He glanced in her direction and smiled, noting she had folded her arms across her chest. “I’ve wanted to see it for some time now.”

“Ah, is your English any good? Whenever I watch English movies, I get a headache from trying to understand everything.”

Changmin smiled to himself in triumph. “Nothing like a challenge, right?”

“What are you up to Changmin?” she wondered at his mood change. Changmin turned to the woman and gave her a gracious smile. “You are being nice again.”

“I’m sorry; I guess I feel better in your company already.”

“Hah.”

“We’re here, come on, let’s put on a grand performance.” Changmin pulled the car into a park easily and cut the engine. Getting out, he rounded the vehicle and opened the door for the woman, who looked about her in confusion.

“This is the front entrance.”

“Of course, we’re just a normal couple on a date to the movies, right?” Changmin reminded, slinging his arm through hers and taking the girl towards the building. Crowds were already forming and when they were spotted, the noise of gasps started to fill the venue. Although normally it would irk Changmin, knowing that he was going to annoy Kaori with the movie choice had relieved him of any displeasure.

He was going to have fun tonight.

His plan faltered in the first fifteen minutes of the movie. Changmin was too busy trying to understand everything happening that he became incredibly frustrated. It was fast paced too and looking around himself, it annoyed him that everyone else appeared as if they understood the storyline. Even Kaori seemed interested enough to try keeping up.

Distracted, Changmin continued to look around the darkened theatre, wondering how he was going to get through another hour of this movie. Just as he looked back at the screen, his eyes caught a couple two rows down. He blinked and refocused, lurching forward in the chair a little. Blinking furiously this time, still they appeared in front of him and Changmin watched on in high interest.

The man wasn’t that much taller than the woman but there was still enough clearance for her to comfortably rest her head on his shoulder. Changmin’s eyes narrowed, watching as the Korean waited for his opportunity to sling his arm around the back of the chair. Just as he anticipated, the man moved it a moment later and the girl instantly snuggled into his side, her curls falling over his limb in the process. Changmin took in a sharp breath and leant closer towards Kaori so he could get a better look at Kaia on her date.

“Min?” she whispered and he had to put an arm around her to balance his new position. Kaori seemed to enjoy this though he was vaguely aware, too busy watching the couple. Halfway through the movie the man removed his arm and whispered into Kaia’s ear before getting up and darting for the exit. Without thinking, Changmin got up out of his seat with a brief mentioning of going to the bathroom and followed him out, heading to the restroom since the man wasn’t in the foyer. He soon found him and smiled as he approached the person he was looking for.

“I’m sorry, this might seem the wrong place but are you from CODE V?” Changmin asked as he moved over to him by the sink and Jaewon stopped washing his hands, his eyes widening in shock. “I’m sorry for frightening you, how funny is it having two idols here tonight!”

“Cha, Changmin!” he exclaimed and grinned. “This is, woahhh.”

“I’m happy to meet you,” Changmin told him and Jaewon nodded repeatedly.

“Likewise, this is an actual dream of mine! I’m a fan!”

“Oh?” Changmin looked away momentarily and then back at the man. “I’m aware of your music also.”

“Really?! My hyungs will be so honoured to hear that!”

Changmin nodded and racked his brain. “Ah, will you be attending the upcoming festival? I think I saw your group’s name on the line-up.”

“Yes! I will be there!” He smiled brightly, and for a moment Changmin faltered, finding the genuine response from Jaewon slightly hard to apprehend. No wonder Kaia liked him, he seemed very friendly.

“I’ll see you there then. Don’t let me keep you,” Changmin replied and Jaewon nodded, walking away for a moment. He quickly returned and held out his phone.

“I’m sorry, this is silly of me but-”

Changmin nodded. “I’ll take a photo with you, no worries!”

As Jaewon opened the device, Changmin spotted a picture of him and Kaia as the wallpaper and tried not to be obvious. She had never taken a photo with Changmin before. Jaewon then held it up and Changmin smiled for the shot, Jaewon bowing a couple of times before departing the bathroom. Placing his hands on the sink in front of me, Changmin groaned loudly. This was not how he wanted things to be.

I should leave, Changmin thought and sighed. Or I could just watch over them some more. It’s not harming anyone. Besides, they’ll probably need to eat, and Kaori is expecting food after this too.

He nodded determinedly. “Yunho did tell me to figure out the reason, maybe if I hang around her I’ll realise it.”

Heading back into the movie theatre, Changmin sat back down beside Kaori, who snuggled into his side. He didn’t stop her, feeling a little guilty for his new plan. He didn’t really want to drag her into this. But all the same, when the movie finished, Changmin grabbed her hand and walked out into the foyer, his eyes scanning the crowds to find the couple ahead.

“That was surprisingly good, wasn’t it?”

“It was interesting for sure.” Changmin smiled briefly at the woman. “Are you hungry? I’m starving. Let’s go eat.”

“Oh, but we didn’t make any reservations!”

“Why don’t we just find something nearby?” he suggested, finally spotting the all too familiar curls and not letting them out of his sight. They followed the couple around the block where there were a few restaurants and upscale cafes and Jaewon and Kaia eventually entered one, causing Changmin to hastily spot a different place to go into. Across the road was a good ramen store and he nodded towards it, all but dragging Kaori inside it. They ordered and Changmin chose the seats near the front, looking across to the coffee shop Kaia and Jaewon had entered. It was perfect; he had a complete view of them both.

“This is a different side to you, Changmin,” Kaori stated as they settled into their meals and he nodded, smiling at the woman. He didn’t know why he felt the need to be so nice to her right now, normally just the sight of her would make him want to run and hide. Changmin left it down to the guilt he was feeling for becoming a stalker. Shuddering with the label he had just given himself, he forced himself to look away. As he turned his head back to the meal in front of him, his appetite seemed to fade and he tried to smile again at Kaori who had still been talking.

Changmin was able to decipher that he was jealous of Jaewon. However, he didn’t know why. He missed his best friend and because of Jaewon, Changmin wasn’t able to see her anymore. He had left it down to that, but as Changmin sat there feeling guilty towards Kaori and now Jaewon, he wondered if there was something more.

There had to be.

_________________

Part 22

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[innernations]

Caution: Reading this will change your life.

Well, I’m not working. I’ve found myself a few freelance gigs and life finally feels like it’s returning to normal after my six years of working 9+ hours a day including the commute. Because I'd been living quite a different lifestyle when I was working 9-5+ hours, this sudden transition to a freelancer's life has exposed something I overlooked before.

Since the moment I quit my high paying job, I’ve been markedly more careful with my money. Not stingy, just a little hesitant to pull out my wallet. For instance, I’ve stopped buying expensive to-go coffees, because they are never as good as homemade filter coffee.  I've become cautious of not just the big, extravagant stuff but also small-scale, casual, promiscuous spending on stuff that doesn’t really add a whole lot to my life. Because, as a freelancer, I won’t actually get paid for another two weeks.

In hindsight,  I’ve done this one thing promptly during the time I was well-employed — spending happily during the 'flush times' and then waiting for the ding of a text message from my bank on Pay Day.  I suppose I did it because I feel I have a certain stature of a well-paid professional, I have a disposable income, which seems to entitle me to a certain level of wastefulness. There is a curious feeling of power you get when you drop a couple of hundreds without a trace of critical thinking. It feels good to exercise that power of the dollar when you know it will 'come back' pretty quickly anyway. What I was doing wasn't unusual at all. Everyone else seems to be doing this. In fact, I think I’ve only returned to the non-consumer mentality after having done it so much. 

One of the most surprising discoveries I made during recent times was that back then, I had a lot of money but little time. There is no time to 'waste' and I felt the pressure of every activity wanting to 'count' in some way. Even the few minutes of a break were fleeting and were spent counting the hours until I had to be at work again. Spending more than 8 hours felt wasteful as the actual hours I spent actually working was about 4-5 and I had to merely be physically present for the rest of the time. I liked to come to work early and leave early, but no one seemed to get that.   

A Culture of Unnecessaries

A lifestyle of unnecessary spending has been deliberately cultivated and nurtured in the masses by big businesses(in a culture where consumerism, capitalism are seen as signs of human progress). Companies in every industry seek to encourage the habit of casual or non-essential spending whenever they can. In the documentary The Corporation, a marketing psychologist discussed one of the methods she used to increase sales. Her staff carried out a study on what effect the nagging of children had on their parents’ likelihood of buying a toy for them. They found out that 20% to 40% of the purchases of their toys would not have occurred if the child didn’t nag its parents. One in four visits to theme parks would not have taken place. They used behavioral psychology studies to market their products directly to children, encouraging them to nag their parents to buy.This marketing campaign alone represents many millions of dollars that were spent because of demand that was manufactured.

“You can manipulate consumers into wanting, and therefore buying your products. It’s a game.” ~ Lucy Hughes, co-creator of “The Nag Factor” 

This is only one small example of something that has been going on for a very long time. Big companies don't make millions by earnestly promoting the virtues of their products, they instead made it by creating a culture where millions of people buy way more than they need and try to chase away dissatisfaction with money.The documentary Zeitgeist explores similar themes and the hidden truths of money, banks, politics, and power.

Look around you. How much stuff is in your basement or garage that you haven’t used in the past year?

We buy stuff to cheer ourselves up, to keep up with the Joneses, to fulfill our childhood vision of what our adulthood would be like, to broadcast our status to the world, and for a lot of other psychological reasons that have very little to do with how useful the product really is. In fact, enough movies, art, books(1984, Animal Farm, Brave New World) and literature have pointed this out.

“We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like.” - Dave Ramsey, Author 

“Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war... Our great depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars, but we won't. We're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.” - Tyler Durden in Fight Club

The real reason for the 40-hour workweek.

The ultimate tool for corporations to sustain a culture that doesn't stop consuming is to develop the 40-hour workweek as the 'normal lifestyle'. Under these working conditions, people have to build a life in the evenings and on weekends: an arrangement that makes us more inclined to spend heavily on entertainment and conveniences because our free time is so scarce. We'd rather pay extra bucks and get instantly gratified than spend time doing it - it could be something as simple as baking a cake or woodworking. The one conspicuous similarity between these activities is that they cost little or no money, but they take time.

I’ve only been freelancing for a few months, but already I’m noticing that I have more time for certain activities: walking to a place instead of driving there, reading, meditating and personal writing. I really didn't have time for these activities back when I was working full-time and even when I did, the short duration loomed like the sword of Damocles. The last thing I want to do when I get home from work is exercise. It’s also the last thing I want to do after dinner or before bed or as soon as I wake up, and that’s honestly all the free time I used to have on a weekday.

When I had a lot more money and no time, I'd think twice about spending the day wandering through a national park or reading my book on the beach for a few hours. Doing these kinds of things was out of the question. Doing either one would take most of my precious weekend days!

This seems like a problem with a simple answer: work less so I’d have more free time. I’d already learned that I can have a fulfilling lifestyle with lesser money than I was making with my last position.

Unfortunately, this is close to impossible in the advertising industry and most others. You work 40-plus hours or you work zero. Clients and contractors are all firmly entrenched in the standard-workday culture, so it isn’t practical to ask them not to ask anything of me after lunch time, even if I could convince my employer not to.

If technology has upgraded, why are we still wrecked by 8+ hour work days?

The eight-hour workday was developed during the industrial revolution in Britain in the 19th century, as a respite for factory workers who were being exploited with 14- or 16-hour workdays. As technologies and methods advanced, workers in all industries were able to produce much more value in a shorter amount of time. You’d think this would lead to shorter workdays. 

But the 8-hour workday is too profitable for big business, not because of the amount of work people get done in eight hours (the average office worker gets less than three hours of actual work done in 8 hours) but because it creates a purchase-happy public. Keeping free time scarce means people pay a lot more for convenience, gratification, and any other relief they can buy. It keeps them watching television and its commercials. It keeps them unambitious and too tired and mentally exhausted to do anything else outside of work.

We’ve been led to a culture that has been engineered to leave us tired, hungry for indulgence, willing to pay a lot for convenience and entertainment, and most importantly, vaguely dissatisfied with our lives so that we continue wanting things we don’t have. We buy so much because it seems like something is always missing. Western economies, particularly that of the United States, have been built in a very calculated manner on gratification, addiction, and unnecessary spending. We spend to cheer ourselves up, to reward ourselves, to celebrate, to fix problems, to elevate our status, and to alleviate boredom.  

Can you imagine what would happen if all of us stopped buying so much unnecessary fluff that doesn’t add a lot of lasting value to our lives? The economy would collapse and never recover.

All of our well-publicized problems, including obesity, depression, pollution, and corruption are what it costs to create and sustain a trillion-dollar economy. For the economy to be 'healthy', we have to remain unhealthy, our mental health shaky and our impulses weak. Healthy, happy people don’t feel like they need much they don’t already have, and that means they don’t buy a lot of junk, don’t need to be entertained as much, and they don’t end up watching a lot of commercials.

The culture of the eight-hour workday is big business’ most powerful tool for keeping people in this same dissatisfied state where the answer to every problem is to buy something.

Parkinson’s Law is often used in reference to time usage: the more time you have been given to do something, the more time it will take you to do it. It’s amazing how much you can get done in 20 minutes if 20 minutes is all you have. But if you have all afternoon, it would probably take way longer. Most of us treat our money this way. The more we make, the more we spend. It’s not that we suddenly need to buy more just because we make more, only that we can, so we do. In fact, it’s quite difficult for us to avoid increasing our standard of living ( rate of spending) every time we get a raise. I don’t think it’s necessary to shun the whole ugly system and go live in the woods, as Christopher McCandless did. But we could certainly do well to understand and be aware what big commerce really wants us to be. They’ve been working for decades to create millions of ideal consumers, and they have succeeded. Unless you’re a real anomaly, your lifestyle has already been designed.

Is this you?

The perfect customer is dissatisfied but hopeful, uninterested in serious personal development, highly habituated to the television, working full-time, earning a fair amount, indulging during their free time, and somehow just getting by.

Three months ago I would have said hell no, that’s not me, but if all my days were like this, that might be wishful thinking.

[topicprinter]

Hey guys!Sorry for the delayed update, it has been a CRAZY couple of months (as I’m sure you’re all aware). A lot has happened since my last update and I’ll try to get into a bit of everything – sorry for the long post.A really really really brief recap of the past twelve partsI started in December of 2018 with $1,165 with the goal of making $10,000 in one year. In 2019, I had bought and sold over $40k in baseball, football and various sports trading cards. I had a few great successes ($1,165 into $3,085 before fees - $2,771.20 into $6,200.10 before fees - $1,086.68 into $3,190.54 before fees) and a few duds. I generally sell my cards on ebay, but utilize auction houses every now and then. The biggest bottleneck I face is submitting cards to PSA (a third party grading company), a card might have a 2-4 month turnaround time. To successfully "flip" you need to balance some of these purchases with shorter flips. In 2019, I ended with a final profit of $9,262.28 – a tad bit short of my goal. In 2020, my goal is $20,000 (fitting). Using my margins from 2019, I would need to sell around $85k in cards.You can find the previous installment hereCOVID-19First, I hope everyone is safe and inside. I am fortunate enough to be working from home and busier than ever – I do mostly forecasting and budgeting for a company in Manhattan, so it has been very busy on my end trying to keep pace with everything that is changing.Vintage baseball cards seem largely unaffected by the crisis. The biggest disruption is the closure of PSA – a third party grading service. If you remember, I have a significant number of cards with PSA (146 as of today for this project) with an estimated value of around $6-10k that are now sitting stagnant in their warehouse. This is inventory that will significantly be delayed processing and will have a material impact on inventory turnover. I had written previously about the dangers of leaving inventory with PSA – it is a good thing that I have a diverse store and don’t leave all my eggs in that basket. Another impact COVID has had with this industry is the delay in the baseball season – this is having serious implications on the modern card market (new products are being delayed, rookies aren’t seeing price movements, etc.). Luckily, the vintage market doesn’t rely on the baseball season as much.As of today, I have had two cancelled orders with buyers directly referencing COVID – one was a person who claimed unforeseen costs (understandable) another was a Canadian individual who ships his cards to the NY border and drives across to pick them up (which he can’t now). I have ten unpaid orders sitting right now, which is higher than usual. I’d imagine some of this may also be COVID related.Some positive impacts – everyone is home! It looks like there are a lot of older collectors stuck at home working on their collections. I am still seeing fairly robust BIN activity and auctions have done well so far. Hopefully things go back to normal sooner than later.PurchasedIn February I had purchased a 1953 Topps Partial Set for $1,472.00. The timing is a little funky, the auction ended at the end of January, my last installment was on February 14th, but I am not including this until now? There were some invoicing issues and I hadn’t sent payment until mid-February, so I am including this now. I pulled out a few cards to send to PSA (which I need to wait until their office reopens), pulled a couple to sell myself and sent the rest of the cards to PWCC. There are seven days remaining in the PWCC auctions, and already past what I paid for these, so I should do well.At the end of February, I managed to win a couple nice lots from Huggins and Scott; the first was a near complete set of 1953 Dormand Postcards purchased for $685.00 after fees and the second was a small group of 1959 and 1960 Venezuela Topps cards for $216.00. Both of these are obscure issues, many of the Dormand postcards are rare with some neat variations (large autograph, small autograph, photo variations, etc). These postcards I immediately listed separately at a $.99 auction and turned a profit. There are two cards that I still have – an oversized Mickey Mantle postcard that is very difficult to find (which I would like to send to PSA) and an oversized Phil Rizzuto postcard that I need to still list. For the Venezuela Topps cards, if you’re unfamiliar, they were literally from Venezuela – some of the cards are written in Spanish, some feature non-MLB Hispanic players, etc. Naturally, these are much rarer than the USA counterparts and, because of that, more valuable. I already sent several to PSA, but sold the rest for $58.66..I purchased a group of 1970 Topps Super Proof cards for $405.41 after fees. I love these sorts of lots. These proof cards are too obscure for anyone to try to collect the set, but collectors who collect players need them for their collection. Player collectors are a different breed of animal, they will hunt down every Roberto Clemente card, Mickey Mantle card or whoever their favorite player is. They have no interest in this group of cards together, but separately they are willing to pay retail. I listed every card on ebay and sold three for $360.00 – so I’ll do well on these for very little work.Finally, I bought this near complete 1959 Topps set for $1,557.30 after fees. These cards are freaking beautiful. The set is missing the three most valuable cards and the star cards appear to be in worse condition, so it went for a relative steal. The “common cards” (players that you’ve never heard of) are in a solid Near Mint condition though. I already pulled about 150 cards to send to PSA, and plan to give the rest to PWCC to sell as a group. Buying high grade sets and breaking them up is a legitimate source of income for many dealers. There are several different approaches to it, the first would be buying the set and selling each card individually ungraded – this would be the approach of Greg Morris Cards, this is incredibly time intensive, and not possible for me at this time. Another approach would be to take out the cards worth grading and sell the rest in bulk (my approach), it leaves money on the table, but takes minutes rather than hours. Another approach would be to pull the high grade cards and replace them with low grade cards to sell the set – I have never had luck with this.What SoldOkay, too much is selling for me to talk about everything, so I updated the GOOGLE DOC to include everything that I currently have in inventory, the status of every item and the sold price (if sold). Take a look, I’ll update it for each installment and can discuss an item you see. For now, I’ll stick to highlights.With the sale of the 1970 Topps Super Hank Aaron card for $76.00 I officially have sold all of the Hank Aaron cards from that Heritage Auctions lot! The final tally was $2,285.98 profit after fees. Not too shabby. What’s notable about this sale was that it was made through the eBay watcher best offer feature. I was able to send an unsolicited offer to an eBay watcher, and he accepted! I have had mixed results with this feature, but overall I’ve seen 2-3 sales every time I send them out (one every two weeks).The two 1979 Topps Cello packs came back from PSA, the Pete Rose pack graded a PSA 8 and the Mike Schmidt pack graded a PSA 7 – I sold them for $250.00 and $130.00 respectively. I have had a couple Redditors ask about how accurate my inventory valuation estimates are, and I have always told them that I try to be as conservative as possible, in this case, I ended 2019 with an estimate of $250.00 on my books for these packs, they ended up going for $323.00 after fees. For the Hank Aaron cards I had $150.00 on my books, but ended up selling them for $660.70 after fees. I try to be very conservative with these estimates. It’s an estimate. I hate losing money because I “thought” something was worth more than it actually is. I also don’t want readers to think that I am inflating inventory value to make results look better, I try to manage expectations and value items with a buffer in case an auction doesn’t go well.Along that same thread, I sold most of the multi-sport cards from Goldin Auctions that I sent to PSA. The highlight was the 1980 Larry Bird/Magic Johnson rookie card that sold for $501.00. This card is iconic. I was very happy to see it graded a PSA 7 (I was worried with the printer marks on the front). In total, these cards sold for $1,075.68 after fees and I still have the Tiger Woods SI Kids rookie card.Wrapper sales keep coming in. If you remember, I had been buying up hundreds of wax pack wrappers and listing them as BIN’s on eBay. I am probably averaging 2-3 per week – I sold this 1961 Topps Football wrapper for $100 in March. I’ll let these sit for a while longer and see if sales continue.The B14 blanket sales have been much slower – with only three sold in March. I think I might try to send a few to auction soon if it doesn’t pick up.PSA UpdateHere is a link to the Google Doc with the status of all of my PSA cards. The spreadsheet also includes a summary of where the project is.PSA has asked customers not to submit anything until further notice, so I am holding on a bunch of cards. Two orders did complete before the offices closed though – the remaining tobacco cards from that July 2019 Grey Flannel auction (see how long this takes). Unsurprisingly, two more cards came back trimmed. I’m a little pissed at Grey Flannel for selling altered cards, but I knew it was a possibility. The cards were fine. Nothing crazy to report (lines 10-18 on the Google Sheet). The two more expensive Mickey Mantle cards also finished and shipped – the 1953 Topps Mantle graded a PSA 1 and the 1953 Bowman Mantle graded a PSA 2. I was really hoping for a PSA 2 and PSA 3 respectively, but can’t complain, I should do well on this group.Below is an updated summary:The summary has changed since the last installment. Rather than include all of the 2019 sales, I removed everything that doesn’t relate to 2020 to make it easier to read and cleaner. For items purchased in 2019 (denoted with a “*”), the “cost” column represent the ending 2019 inventory valuation. For items purchased in 2020, the cost column is the cost. In the Google Sheet I included an in depth P&L with full results and 2019 details.ItemCost*SoldFeesInventory^Profit1936 Goudey Lot (8)*50.0030.00(4.50)20.00(4.50)Hank Aaron "Odd-Ball" Collection*150.00777.29(116.59)-510.70(16) Pre-WWII card lot w/ Cobb*1,300.00978.76(146.81)300.00(168.05)(23) Sandy Koufax 1950's and 1960's lot*250.0098.00(14.70)200.0033.301977-1979 Topps Baseball Rack & Cello Packs (6)*250.00380.00(57.00)-73.001957 Swift Meats Game Complete Set (18)*800.00--800.00-(36) 1950s-2000s Multi-Sports Collection*500.001,265.51(189.83)150.00725.681933-1989 Wax Pack Wrapper Hoard (650+)*400.001,023.99(153.60)300.00770.391941-2004 Multi-Sport Group (33)*800.00419.34(62.90)500.0056.441912 B18 Blanket Find (100)*1,270.80393.50(59.03)1,000.0063.681962-63 Parkhurst Hockey Lot (45+)*500.00287.26(43.09)400.00144.171953 to 1969 Mickey Mantle Group (16)*1,000.00--1,000.00-1956-1959 Baseball Star Collection (48)*1,130.00167.04(25.06)1,000.0011.981961-1969 Baseball Star Collection (61)*804.95257.78(38.67)600.0014.161948-1965 Yogi Berra Collection (26)*1,400.00399.50(59.93)1,050.00(10.43)Lot of (4) Signed Perez-Steele Postcards676.59--676.59-1950's-1980's Football Wrapper Lot (42)920.00887.00(133.05)500.00333.951953 Topps Partial Set (208)1,472.00--1,472.00-1953-55 Dormand Postcard Set (47/52)685.00795.83(119.37)300.00291.461959 & 1960 Venezuela Topps Lot (34)216.0058.66(8.80)200.0033.861959 Topps Baseball High Grade Set1,557.30--1,557.30-1970 Topps Super Proofs Lot (12)405.41360.00(54.00)200.00100.59$16,538.05$8,579.46($1,286.92)$12,225.89$2,980.38*-denotes inventory purchased in 2019 valued at 2019 y/e figures.^ -inventory on hand is valued at a conservative estimate of fair market value for remaining items.`-grading fees are expensed when the card is sent to PSA, fees are not paid until PSA has completed the order. Fees that are expensed, but not paid are sitting in Accounts Payable below.2020 Grading Fees`: $366.13Current On HandCash: $2,546.13InventorySee the Google sheetALSO! If anyone is interested in what the financials for this project would look like, see below. With 2019 officially in the book, I moved the final 2019 financial statement over for a year-over-year comparison:As of 4/6/20202020 YTD2019 FinalCash$2,546.13$1,680.15Accounts Receivable$-$-Inventory^12,225.89$10,605.75Accounts Payable`($1,730.47)($1,858.62)Retained Earnings($9,262.28)$-Initial Capital($1,165.00)($1,165.00)Revenue($8,579.46)($40,163.15)Cost of Goods Sold$4,312.16$22,582.96Fees (15% of Rev.)$1,286.92$5,956.97Grading Fees$366.12$2,360.93I look forward to continuing to update everyone on this. Hope you enjoy as much as I do.Jason

[theblatherwick7]

The team reunited for Thailand

This was a long awaited holiday coming as it does after the chaos that has been our house move with attendant high speed packing.Most people would have spent the morning holiday packing-I spent it supervising carpet fitters and builders,getting rid of furniture and filling a skip.We were however all present and correct in good time for our 6 seater taxi to arrive to take us to Newark Northgate for our train to Heathrow via Kings Cross.At the appointed time there was no sign but I wasn’t unduly worried as we had had an automated confirmation text.However I decided to check it was on its way only to get the response that it hadn’t been despatched and they weren’t entirely sure where it was! I expressed incredulity that they could be so casual about this whereupon they hung up.We then commenced a frantic unpacking of the Landrover which was full of stuff set aside to avoid the removal men packing it.We were preparing a hasty dash to the station with bags on our knees when the taxi company(Z cars if you want to avoid them!) rang to say they were sending 2 cars(why they hadn’t done this initially beats me) and that one was almost with us.So we unpacked the car and the first taxi arrived with scarcely an apology and little sense of urgency.Iain decided to take this one and set off with the little ones whilst Alec and I(a poor combination in stressful situations) waited for the second one.Except it didn’t come.I took the gamble that it was worth waiting a minute or 2 as if I drove I would be delayed by having to park rather than being dropped outside.

However when I chased it up with Maggie who I fear was reluctant to answer the phone to me I was told it was over 2 miles away.We guessed this was too long to wait and hastily in 32degree heat packed my mini.This is Fortunately a sporty vehicle so I put it through its paces leaving only 14 mins before the trains departure time.I almost caught up with Iains taxi whose driver had refused his advice on the best route.I threw Alec out at the station with my enormous suitcase and screeched into the nearest car park with hardly time to wince at the £13.50 a day charge and sprinted at quite a pace considering the heat into the station and over the bridge.The whistle was being blown frantically as I approached(it turned out that Iain was refusing to allow the automatic doors to close on ironically what must be the only London train I’ve caught this year that actually left on time) and I managed to dive into the nearest door and fall in a heap!

Z cars had by this time texted to ask for feedback on our journey! Iain had refused to pay his driver and I’d shouted at him(poor chap) that he had not provided the best start to our holiday.I spoke to Jack in the office(Maggie was probably lying down with a cold towel by now!) and informed him that I would be presenting Z cars with a £250 parking bill which was more than they would have charged us to drive us all the way.He certainly didn’t dare argue so we shall see what happens.

We gradually got our breath back and prepared for 22 stops on the Piccadilly line with 13 items of luggage.This turned out to be as fun as you might expect,standing room only with sweat dripping out the bottom of my trousers,but it got us there on time and G managed to hop on the same train.We arrived at Terminal 4 in plenty of time and dropped off our bags for our Etihad flight via Abu Dhabi.We had plenty of time for a meal and some shopping and a very short trip to a recently built viewing gallery which was stiflingly hot.

We boarded on time but then missed our slot so left about 40 mins late.It was a huge v new plane(Dreamliner?!) with what seems to be better than average seats with a good headrest arrangements.Etihad are meant to be upmarket,tho on the verge of going bust I think,but there was nothing very special about them. 6 and a half hours later we touched down in Abu Dhabi and walked a considerable distance to our next plane.I was rather surprised to see a middle aged local bending down to whisper in Elsie’s ear.It turned out he was taking a selfie with her which seemed remarkably odd!

This second flight was on a smaller older plane and there was a cafuffle when various groups weren’t seated together including a couple,one of whom was meant to be next to Alec and refused resulting in Alec getting 2 seats to himself.We were given spicy noodles for breakfast which seemed a strange choice but passed the time and before we knew it we were in Phuket.Immigration didn’t last long and we were efficiently greeted by Destination Asia,our land agents,to be taken to our hotel Best Western Bangtao.

Now I’m not a fan of corporate bland hotels but had been assured by our travel agent that this hotel was not like this.I was also convinced because it was very cheap! As we pulled up it looked pretty ordinary and dated and we were rather put out to be told that our 2 rooms were in completely different parts of the hotel. We had a family room in an annexed garden area and a(apparently upgraded) sea view room in the main hotel.The latter is very ugly and the room smelt v damp and musty,exactly the smell that makes Iain very wheezy.We asked to swap but the poor guy dealing with us got very flustered and asked us to wait until the morning.We then rang our travel agent who washed their hands of it(not best pleased as I think they over sold it in the first place) and then their hotel agent who agreed to intervene.We headed out for dinner only to see the chap who had struggled to help us clearly trying to deal with the call from our agent.We had a great Thai meal out but all I could think of was that the place was a bit disappointing after all the effort to get here,and certainly didn’t compare to the Maldives but where would? Everyone else in the party was chilled tho so I thought perhaps the morning would herald better things! We felt sure we would sleep well.

[awesome-legendarystudentcho-blog]

Kyle South Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 57752

"Kyle South Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 57752

Kyle South Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 57752

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Kyle South Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 57752

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I am planning on switching car insurance providers b/c: 1.) My car got stolen 01/25/2013 and I only had liability coverage (car was a 1996 Nissan Maxima) 2.) I was hit in October 2012 and it was not my fault and received settlement money b/c my car was deemed a total loss 3.) With that money I put a down payment on a used car this past weekend b/c now I truly had no car 4.) I now need full coverage to my current policy and replace the old car with the newer one but the 6-month premium is too high. While shopping around for car insurance, I found an auto quote that was A LOT more affordable than if I were to stick with my current insurance. With that being said, I had a lot of questions. I got into a car accident in May 2012 and it was my fault. No one was hurt and no air bags deployed. My insurance paid the damages. Now, if I cancel my policy with them, does that mean that I have to pay the insurance company back the money for the damages they covered to the other car? My other question is how much information do I disclose when applying for a new auto policy? I have of course included the at-fault accident in May and I also included the accident that was not my fault. Before these 2 accidents, I had one just one that was in a parking lot. The other driver and I were deemed both at fault, 50/50. Damage to his car was around $700. That was 3 years ago. The insurance company I was looking into said online to include accidents that were at least 51% your fault and accidents that weren't your fault too. Do I include this accident too even tho it was 50/50? My last question is about speeding and points. I my first speeding ticket in June 2012. I got a reduced fine and went to traffic school so it wouldn't show up and get a point. Once again, while looking at auto quotes, they asked if I had a moving violation which includes speeding. Because I went to traffic school and everything, do I tell them about that too? Despite the bad luck I've had this past year with my driving record, I only have one point. The 50/50 accident will be off because it's the 3rd year. I live in CA and got this info from the DMV website: The length of time depends on the severity of the offense. Most points (illegal turn, not making a complete stop, driving over the speed limit, etc.) and/or accidents will stay on your driver record for 36 months (3 years). I've included the link: http://www.dmv.ca.gov/teenweb/more_btn6/points/points.htm Any advice and suggestions is greatly appreciated! Thanks!""

What do you do if you get in a car accident and the person who hits you doesn't have car insurance?

I was in a car accident a week ago, it was a 4 car pile-up the driver behind me did not pay attention to the red light and slammed into the back of me pushing me into another driver and then pushing him into someone else. The car that hit me did not have car insurance so I am going to have to pay my deductible of $500 also I had to pay for a rental car which cost me $100 (so far) I do have full coverage so I wont have to pay anything towards my car but I was wondering is it worth it to sure for the $600? What do most people do in this case?""

Affordable Health Insurance for Student in MA?

Hi, if you go to school in MA, you would know that the insurance company offered by school are overpriced. I'm looking for affordable, low-cost, health insurance for college student in Massachusetts. Thank you.""

How much would my car insurance be ?

Im getting a car in a few weeks ( sitron caxo forte) its for free of my girlfriends grandad. I need to know what else its going cost me though, because all the car insurance websites make me fill out to much information and I don't even have the car yet.. I will be 17 in a few weeks and it will be just me driving the car.""

How will USAA Insurance decide how much my car is worth in an accident?

I'm not a member and was not at fault - the liable party was a USAA client. I had a 1996 VW Passat and am waiting to hear if they are going to total it. If they do, how do they determine worth? How soon will I get the money?""

Whats the best insurance for my 2 month old Maltese/Yorkshire terrier puppy?

hes about 2.5 months old and hes half maltese have yorkshire terrier ...does anyone have any idea on what would be the best insurance suited for him?>

What will happen if I retire at age 60 in terms of health insurance?

Since the affordable care act was affirmed I guess by the Supreme Court, if I retire at age 60 and get my own health insurance, can I get my own insurance at a discounted rate? I'll have no income when I retire. I will have about 2 million dollars saved and will take some out to live of course. If what I take out is less than $43,320, can I still get insurance at a discounted rate? Also I guess my rate will be same whether I have a pre-existing condition right?""

Car insurance cancelled on financed car..?

So I've been looking for a way out of my car loan lately because the payments are really too much for me right now...I know I shouldn't have got into it but I was young and VERY gullible. I just got a letter in the mail from my insurance company asking for me to verify the address I have on file with them ( where I park my car at night) or else they will cancel my coverage. So if they cancel my coverage, will I still be held accountable for the car loan? Or will I have to pay the balance off? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. :-)""

Will auto insurance provider raise my premium rates for filing a claim even if the incident is not my fault?

I just noticed some deep scrapes/scratches on left corner of rear bumper on my Prius after returning from late-night shopping. I was thinking about filing a claim on basis of vandalism, but I heard providers tend to raise rates for filing a claim whether it's my fault or not. I'm just wondering if it'll cost me less in the long run to go for it or just find and go to an auto paint shop directly?""

What would be a good life insurance policy?

What is the difference between 10 and 20yr terms etc. What is the benefit of the whole life insurance? And why do those one's cost much, much more? What should the average 35yr old female enroll in. I'm looking at probably 500,000. That's way more then ten times the amount I earn in a year. Do they grow with interest? So many question's I know. But if anyone has the time to give me the basics I will appreciate it. Thank you.""

Im pregnant and need insurance. Is there affordable prenatal insurance besides medicaid?

Medicaid denied me because I make 25 cents more than the allowed amount. I am 4 months pregnant and have not had any prenatal care due to lack of insurance and fighting with medicaid. Is there AFFORDABLE coverage that anyone knows about?

Insurance or out-of-pocket?

The bumber and trunk of my new 2006 Honda Civic was hit by someone unknown when my car was parked in a lot. The damage is a sizeable dent. How much will it cost for a repair in the dealership? Is it better to pay it myself or let the insurance do it (worry about increasing insurance rate). Any other ideas will help? Thanks

Renters insurance?

What is a good company to have renters insurance through, that is still pretty cheap?""

Cheapest insurance for beginner rider on a cbr-125?

I am 17 in a few days and looking to get a honda cbr-125 or any similar bike for getting to college and work, which is the best way to get cheap insurance and do you have any tips on how to lower it?""

Can anyone help me find a source that explains Hourly Cost to Employer for employee's health insurance?

I can't find anything that says how much a year or hour it costs employers to offer health insurance. I'm sure there is a range, but I'd just like to find anything factual that isn't someone's esteemed opinion, saying that Obamacare will save 30% on costs or Obamacare will cost employers Billions. I would like to find some real numbers and come up with my own ideas. Thanks, in advance for your assistance.""

Is there a way for me to get affordable car insurance?

hi im a college student in NYC i am single and live alone in a studio apartment in Brooklyn NY i work in an armani exchange store and at the moment im also going for acting and have already nailed some gigs. My question is if anybody knows how i can get car insurance under $4000 (BTW i dont have any1 living in another state) i checked most companies and they offer 10-13k either a year or 6 months so please if any1 knows how i can get insurance help me out i am in dire need of a car.

Can I get a job at a car insurance place at 16?

I want to work so then my car insurance would be cheaper

Why did my friends mother want me to have car insurance?

I wanted to pick up my friend and have her come to my house. Her mother said i have to have car insurance to have her daughter in the car with me. I was just wondering why.

How much will car insurance cost?

I am 19 and got taken off my parents policy because I had to at fault accidents. I am a female college freshman who would be driving a 1996 Honda Accord. About how much Should I expect to pay for auto insurance? I just want basic coverage. Also I have had my license for about 2 and a half years.

Kyle South Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 57752

Kyle South Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 57752

Where can I find affordable health insurance with no waiting period for maternity coverage?

We're residents of Virginia, but use a doctor and hospital in North Carolina, and can't seem to find a thing. Doesn't need to pick it up as a pre-existing condition. Ehealthinsurance.com didn't find a thing for us. Any help is appreciated.""

""By looking at these charts, can you understand why the U.S. needed health insurance reform?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/03/health-care-costs-_n_3998425.html

Is an automatic car cheaper to tax and insure?

This may sound stupid, but i was looking into driving lessons when i came across an advert for an automatic driving school. I was wondering if, at the end of it, would it make an difference to my insurance if i had a stick or automatic? Thanks""

Affordable car insurance quote?

Please can any one tell me where i can find info on affordable car insurance quote

Best place for car insurance? (uk)?

I passed my driving test a couple of days ago and i need to insure my car. I realise the insurance is going to be 'through the roof', but can anybody reccomend places worth trying where i might get the best quote? thankoooooou""

Insurance getting cancelled on an SR22 in VA?

I was so excited about good news I received, that I forgot that my insurance was going to cancel at midnight. I have an SR22 filing, even though I no longer require it. I left it there until it was time to renew. My question is how soon is DMV notified? Will I have time to call my agent first thing in the morning?""

How come car insurance vary so much between different cities for the same car and driver?

I moved house so that I could buy a car, as the last house has permit parking rule and allowed one permit per house. So, I moved and now I am doomed, because the insurance is 3100 for a ford ka valued 1400. In the last house my insurance quote was 1500 for the same car, but just change in a post-code and bam. my dreams of having a car is shattered, I feel like crying out loud from roof top :(""

What are 3 reasons why insurance rates are higher for driver's under the age of 25?

What are 3 reasons why insurance rates are higher for driver's under the age of 25?

Do you have to get health insurance?

I'm a full time student with 16hour this Fall. Since my school work-study wait listed me I'm looking for other jobs but I can only do part time or I know I'll be too stressed plus my adviser told me to go only part-time except during summer. I just want to know ahead of time will I be required to get health insurance? I'm already covered on my mom's insurance and it's really good. I'd rather stay with hers. I should be able to work part time and stay on her insurance right? Or is it possible I'll be kicked off and forced to whatever the employer may offer me?

""What is the cheapest, good auto insurance for one person?""

I recently moved out of my parent's home due to some serious conflicts and am living with a close friend. I currently work and am about to buy my own car using some of my savings. I'll have to get auto insurance for myself and was wondering if anyone can recommend an insurance company with a good reputation that is also very affordable, particularly for a single person, single car type of plan. Thank you!""

""For health insurance plan, is it good to have a low deductible, but a higher coinsurance?""

I'm looking at a health insurance plan with a premium of $76 per month. The deductible is $500 and out-of-pocket maximum is $2,500, which doesn't include deductible. Coinsurance is 30% after deductible. I get the first 3 doctor visits for $30 co-payment and then pay 30% after deductible. Does this plan sound okay? I normally see a doctor once a year. Thanks!""

How do I cancel Primerica life insurance policy?

I was briefly a Primerica rep about 2 years ago. While I was a rep, I purchased a Primerica Life Insurance policy at their suggestion. About 6 months later I quit. I still have the policy. Now it seems like a complete waste of money. It is $37 per month, and I really have no need for life insurance. I am a bachelor, and nobody depends on my income. I called the Primerica number, and the recording said to cancel a policy, send them a letter in the mail requesting cancellation with the policy number. That seems awfully vague. Is there anything else I need to put on the letter? Do I need to send the letter certified mail so they can't say, We never received it, and keep charging me every month? Dumb questions. Sorry.""

Know of Affordable Insurance for unemployed NJ resident?

My wife just lost her job due to downsizing and she carried the insurance. Our insurance expires the end of October. I cant signup at my job until January. We can COBRA but it will cost around $900 a month which we certainly wont have since shes unemployed and wouldnt have even if she WAS employed. Anyone know if there is a more affordable option? Does unemployed have some kind of health insurance? We have 2 young children so not having insurance isnt an option. Please REAL Replies Only!!! No SPAM!

Tips on how to get first time drivers car insurance down?

Hey, so I have my driving test on June 3rd but i am looking to buy a car before then in these next few weeks. Ive been getting some quotes on some possible cars but the cheapest quote i am getting is 4,500, which is absolutly ridiculous! I thought 2,000 was pushing it and i dont intend to pay more than 2,000 a year. The cars ive been looking at are Peugot 206s, Vauxhall Corsa SXI, and Renault Clio's. Which i believe are in the cheapest insurance band. I just dont understand why im getting quotes of 4000/5000. Most of my firends with similar cars pay 1,500 a year which seems right. I must be doing something wrong. Can anyone give me tips on how to get the price down. Should i add my mum as an additional driver? Do modified cars (alloys and tinted windows) dramatically increase the insurance price? Any reccomended insurance companies? Thanks guys!""

Business Insurance - Car?

Basically, I have an internet business, and Im wondering if there is a way that I can have business car insurance? I would like to know the as much as I can. I am looking at a rather fast, expensive car, that will partly be used for Business. So Im wondering if I can get a business insurance policy, and cover it on that? Anyone in the know - please help, and offer advice. Thanks.""

Car Title and Insurance?

If I finance my car under just my name can I then title it under both mine and my mother's name and get insurance using her address?

Car insurance price difference?

I have just partially cleared my garage and want to know before i clear the rest of the garage and run around getting different quotes, how much cheaper is insurance parking in a garage rather than a drive.""

How will my insurance premiums be affected?

I got into a minor fender bender. No scratch on either car but the person I hit (I rear-ended them) is claiming that I caused their airbag light to go on. Now they are going through the insurance process and it is not known yet whether they will claim against their own insurance company or go through mine. How do you think my insurance premium will be affected by this? Thanks for your help.

Affordable health insurance in texas?

I am self employ'd make enough to pay my bills cannot afford the average health insurance can anybody recommend me to affordable insurance that does not have a high deductable?

""How many low information posters truly believe Obamacare's $5,0000 deductibles constitute affordable insurance?""

How can you say you have insurance when you have to pay $5,000 before it kicks in every year? A study by HealthPocket Inc. in December found that the average individual deductible for Obamacares bronze plan was $5,081 a year42 percent higher than the average deductible of $3,589 for an individually purchased plan. The deductibles on the low-cost plans are the real scandal here. The administration will surely trot out a long line of cancer patients and people with other terrible medical problems who got treatment in 2014 with coverage they werent able to buy in 2013, but there are going to be far more working poor and middle class people who still have to scrape together a decent premium after the subsidies, pay it faithfully, then get sick and go to the doctor, only to find out their policy doesnt cover anything until theyve paid a $5,000 deductible. I predict a LOT of dissatisfied lower income premium payers.""

Can you add you unborn child to your insurance?

well, I would like to add my baby to my boyfriend's insurance (the daddy) can he do it now or we need to wait until the baby is born?""

Cheapest car insurance?

im 20 and getting my first car.... what is the cheapest car insurance in florida... miami - ft lauderdale area?

How much to insure a car?

im a 16 year old girl that is trying to save up for a car. im hoping to get a car at 2500 max. is there an amount that the registration and insurance would cost. I need to know how much i have to save. thank you :D ps. in utah

Car modifications and insurance?

Hey I'm young with my first car so insurance is high. What modifications will either not affect my premium or affect it by a little. Thanks

Insurance Cost Estimate For 16 Year Old With Sports Car?

How much would it cost to insure a 16 year old on Geico with a sports car compared to a sedan or something of that nature? To be more specific, what would be the average change in cost from a BRZ/FRS to a Hyundai Genesis sedan? I do not need exact answers, as this is impossible with the many factors. I just want to know if it will be like $30 a month difference or a couple hundred a month. Also, what you expect the cost of insurance on a new v6 mustang to be per month? 10 points to the best answer. Thanks.""

Kyle South Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 57752

Kyle South Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 57752

I'm 19 years old and I need insurance. How do I go about getting it?

I need cheap or free insurance

Buying car insurance?

I've got my driving test in September and thinking about buying a car if I pass. I'm just a bit confused about how to buy a car and car insurance. Do I need to look around for a car I like, get all the details of the car, buy insurance for that car, then actually buy the car, in that order? Also are new cars or older cars cheaper to insure? I think it's newer cars but I'm not sure. Also what is a good car for cheaper insurance. I've heard Ford and Vauxhall are good for cheap insurance. I've been on price comparison sites and it seems that even if I have pass plus and just third party cover 2k per year is a minimum :( Thanks.""

Why are my wife's health insurance rates going up?

2 days after Obama signed the new health care law, my wife received and email from her health insurance company. Her monthly rates, and her deductible will be going up. Ah.. wait a minute... isn't the new health care law supposed to make health insurance more affordable????""

""Teenager first car, first insurance questions I live in the UK?

My step daughter has a car registered in her name at her home address. She wants her father who lives at a different address to add her to his insurance as the second driver. The premium will be far cheaper. But her father will not drive the car. I think its known as 'Fronting'. I want to know for this kind of insurance would her father have to be the registered owner and would the car have to be registered at his address? As a second driver will she be able to drive anywhere in the country and still be covered? If she gets a speeding ticket and he is the registered owner who will get the points and/or fine?

What is the best choice for a college student with no health insurance?

I am a 20 year old (21 in December) who is a sophomore in college. I have absolutely no form of insurance-health, dental, etc.- and I have been wondering what is the best choice for me? I know this is a problem and I need to get some, but I am clueless. What companies are best? What should I be looking for? What do I need/not need? HELP!""

Do I qualify for unemployment insurance in California?

I worked a full time temp job that only lasted 4 months. From May to September. I m wondering if that is enough to qualify for unemployment insurance in California?

""I am 17 years old, got my driving license 8 month ago, but i don't have insurance on my car! What would happen?""

What would happen if the cops would stop me? I have my mom's insurance, for my car , can it be helpful with the cops?""

Where can I find cheap 3rd party property car insurance for my 17year old son?

Where can I find cheap 3rd party property car insurance for my 17year old son?

Which are the cheapest car to insurance in Canada?

Hello: Planing to buy a car, but I will considered a car that is cheaper to insure, any suggestion? Thank you in advanced""

""Cheapest car insurance, help!? (UK)?""

im 17, 18 soon. (female) i haven't passed my test yet but im looking for car insurance for when i do... but everything im finding is like 2 grand plus and i cant afford that! all im looking for is a small 2001 corsa... i dont mind whether its fully comp or not, i just want it to be cheaper than that! does anyone have any tips? ive been on go compare and all the comparison ones but its still like 2500.. even with my parents insured aswell! any advice?""

Temporary Car insurance fuddles? Re: excess on the owners policy?

Hi, I was looking to either rent a car for a day or borrow my sisters, now ive found a site on tempcover willing to insure me for something like 30 - 40 odd quid but the trouble is it said something about excess being in & around the 400 - 500 mark.... It also said this is the excess the car's owner has to pay.... I'm pretty certain i'll not be borrowing anyones car if its going to cost them that much - even if I offer to pay it (which I wouldnt by the way, im not an idiot lol) But does anyone know if this is like a one-off or if they mean that this is what my sisters excess will amount to once ive been put on one day insurance on her vehicle? Just im not 100% if they mean that by being insured for 1 day im gonna just basically destroy her policy for the next year lol? Sorry I know this is a bit confusing but thats why im asking ya see,, it confuses me too..... I suppose im hoping an insurance expert is out there somewhere reading this and just dying to lend their expertise...... Thanks guys!x! :) Ps: Shes agreed to lend me the car as long as im insured & dont crash it lol....""

What is a good health insurance for an individual?

My dad lost his job 6 months ago, his new job doesn't have benefits. What is a good health insurance that will be cheap enough for a young college student that is affordable? (I ...show more""

Are there any good temporary car insurance companies in america?

Are there any good temporary car insurance companies in america?

How do I shop for Medical Insurance?

I am finally getting dropped from my parents medical insurance in March. I will be turning 26, so its time to shop for my own medical insurance. I don't want to continue the coverage that my dad had me on, its way too expensive. I am a white male, 25, non-smoker, looking for a high deductible and tiny premiums. Just want to get my bases covered. So where do I go to get medical insurance? How do I know I am getting the right price? What should I look forward to paying? Can I get free medical insurance somewhere? Should I get dental and vision insurance too? Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks.""

Will a reckless driving ticket affect an insurance premium in Georgia?

My husband recently went through a road block after leaving work (playing music in a bar.) He was honest and said he'd been drinking, even though he waited for a while and had not had that much to drink. He blew .07 over the legal limit. He went to jail for 14 hours. We paid a lot of money and got the charge dropped to reckless driving. This was six months ago and our insurance premium has only gone down (good grades and homeowner's insurance with same company.) We are afraid to ask the insurance company for fear that they might not know. 1. Will that info get sent to them automatically? 2. Is there danger that our bill will go up if we speak to them about it? 3. What percentage might the bill go up once they do find out? We are looking to buy a new car soon, so we can't avoid speaking to the insurance company about it forever!""

Health Insurance Policies For Smokers?

How are health insurance policies for smokers differ from that for non smokers?

What all does someone under 18 need to get car insurance?

I'm under 18 years old and I need to get car insurance but I dont know if I can get it on my own. My parents do not want to put me on there insurance and I don't know if I can get it by myself. I also heard that they have to co sign for insurance? If that's true will them co signing for my insurance affect there car insurance what so ever? They think that there insurance would go up if they co signed for me but I don't think that's true. Some one please help!

Buying a car (scion tc) + insurance= how much expense a month?

Ill be buying a new scion tc no option for Im estimating 18k i got my license almost a half a year now and im 18 i had one speed ticket no credit history, so ill be paying 40% of the 18k and buying the car my moms credit sucks so im better off being indepedent how much is insurance for me these days. combined how much for the payment and the insurance will it be""

What is health insurance reform?

Im doing a research paper on health insurance reform and i googled what it means and its just to confusing i dont get a definition. can anyone explain to me what health insurance reform is and whats the differences between health insurance reform to health care? how do they work? please and thank you =)

Does your insurance rates change when you switch it to a different car?

I drive a 2001 cavalier and I'm getting another used car in about a month (2004 pontiac grand prix) I'm under 25 so my insurance rates sky rocket. Will it be cheaper to transfer my current insurance over to the Grand Prix or to just get new insurance all together ?

Estimated Insurance Costs for Pest Control Business?

Hello, I have been considering starting a Pest Control business. I'd mainly like to focus on the removal of animals, however from a business stand point it would be much wiser to handle pest insects as well. Our state breaks down the minimum insurance you need which I will list below. I was hoping someone could give me just some reasonable estimes of what these types of insurances would cost based on the information I provide? If needed, I live in Rhode Island and based on looking at similar local businessed and their NAICS codes, the industry would be #325320. RULE 21. FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY (A) Each applicant for commercial applicator licensing shall show proof of financial responsibility to consist of either: (1) A performance bond drawn payable to the State of Rhode Island in the amount of $20,000 per job, or (2) The following minimum insurance coverage: Comprehensive General Liability (ground application): Bodily Injury Liability - $20,000 each occurrence - $40,000 Aggregate Property Damage Liability (Including completed operations and chemical or pollution liability) - $25,000 (B) Each applicant for commercial applicator certification shall show proof of financial responsibility to consist of either: (1) A performance bond drawn payable to the State of Rhode Island in the amount of $50,000 per job, or (2) The following minimum insurance coverage: Comprehensive General Liability (ground application): Bodily Injury Liability - $50,000 each occurrence - $100,000 Aggregate Property Damage Liability (Including completed operations and chemical or pollution liability) - $50,000 (C) Each applicant for commercial applicator certification in Category 7(c) Fumigation shall show proof of financial responsibility to consist of either: (1) A performance bond drawn payable to the State of Rhode Island in the amount of $100,000 or (2) The following minimum insurance coverage: Comprehensive General Liability: Bodily Injury Liability - $100,000 each occurrence - $300,000 Aggregate Property Damage Liability (Including completed operations and chemical or pollution liability) - $100,000 (D) Each applicant for commercial applicator licensing or certification, who applies pesticides aerially, shall show proof of financial responsibility to consist of either: (1) A performance bond drawn payable to the State of Rhode Island in the amount of $100,000, or (2) The following minimum insurance coverage: General Liability: Bodily Injury Liability - $100,000 each occurrence - $200,000 Aggregate Property Damage Liability (Including completed operations and chemical or pollution liability) - $100,000 (E) Financial responsibility required by paragraphs (A)  (D), where appropriate, shall not be required of persons whose pesticide application activities are part of their duties as governmental employees.""

How much do you think my car insurance will be ?

im 17 and not sure what car just a small little one about 1 ltr ? and im male how much routly do u think it will cost ?

Can anyone recommend a cheap company for temporary car insurance (UK)?

only need it insured for a few days to get it MOT'd?

""If my mom adds me onto her car insurance, about how much would it go up?""

I'm 17 Shes with GEICO Its a Buick Rendezvous SUV (2004) Our zip is 33312 (South florida, if this helps for those answering that may be in my area) I have a clean record B Average in school""

Why are the big insurance companies so much cheaper?

I am getting off my parents auto insurance and getting my own. The Quote from the agent my parents use who is local to the area was nearly two hundred dollars more per year than the quote i got from progressive. Is there a reason to use a local company? he tried to sell me on customer service but i only deal with my insurance company maybe once or twice a year so i'm not sure that its worth $200 to me. Is there a reason to use a local company?

Kyle South Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 57752

Kyle South Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 57752

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/bankwest-travel-insurance-quote-gilbert-stokes/"

[cebeavers]

Pigeon Forge 2005

December 16-18, 2005

In 2004 I had the bright idea to go to Dollywood in December for my first visit to the park.  Since it was open and they run the coasters in the winter, I wanted to go try out Thunderhead.  I wasn’t aware until last year just how close the Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg area was.  And Thunderhead was screaming at me to come and ride again.  So I brought it up to a few people and we planned an informal event on a Saturday in December.  Ten of us, and we all had lots of fun.  After coming back and talking about it for some time several other friends and acquaintances decided that they would like to come as well if we did it again.  Well in 2005 we did it again.  With seven more people than the previous year.

So, months of planning went into this weekend.  Of course, I took it upon myself to plan.  And one thing the group (or most of them anyways) learned was not to trust Clint with money.  More importantly, I should say, don’t trust Clint with Math.  Ever.  Ever ever, in fact.  I did a good job with planning the meal, though.  So after literally almost a year of planning, we had a group of 19 going.  Then Josh and Brandi had to back out.  So we were down two people, but since they weren’t going to eat at the buffet and they didn’t have to pay to get in with their season passes it wasn’t hard to adjust.

The week finally arrived.  I was driving from Southern West Virginia to Pigeon Forge by myself.  I was off for the week prior to the trip, so I was able to adjust my sleeping as I was a day sleeper during that time.  So on Friday December 16 I woke up early and headed south.  The drive from home to the Pigeon Forge area is about 4 hours, but all interstate once I reach Bluefield, Va. which is about an hour from home.  Since my Xterra drinks gas like a fish drinks water, not to mention I’m in need of new tires (c’mon income tax refund), I borrowed my parent’s Honda Element for the weekend.  I got my ginger pills, bufferin rip off, XM Radio, and CD case from my car and off I went.  Thank goodness for XM Radio.

I arrived in Sevierville around 1pm.  Beth, who had picked up Kris Allen and Danny Perkins were heading to Louisville to pick up Mike Case and Matt Scott as their flights landed…or so she thought.  Unfortunately, when Matt arrived in Cincinnati, they canceled his flight to KY, so he was on a bus that took far longer than they had anticipated.  I arrived to Pigeon Forge after Tina and Ed  so I met up with Ed as Tina waited at the NASCAR Speed Park for Nicole.  Half of the power was out in Pigeon Forge, and none of the traffic lights worked.  The coaster at NASCAR Speed Park was closed for the weekend as well.

Ed was at Best Wester, so we headed towards Gatlinburg, stopping for me to pick up some stuff on the way.  We stopped to look at Hillbilly Golf, which never opened, and then we rode thru Gatlinburg for my first time.  Tina called and she and Nicole decided to meet us back at the parking lot by Hillbilly Golf.  Since we weren’t far away, we drove around downtown Gatlinburg a bit.  While down there, I had seen a Ferris Wheel and a Yo-Yo and something else I couldn’t make out up on a hill.  We drove up a road to see if we could get closer to investigate, and found a park that had to have been closed for quite some time, as everything was needing to be painted, de-rusted, and what not. It was abandoned.  It only had a couple of rides in it, but it looked quaint.  I couldn’t figure out how to turn around, but the gate to the park was open, and that was the only place the road let to turn around, so I turned around by the Yo-Yo and headed back down. I’d never driven thru an amusement park before, and I didn’t really mean to this time.

So we picked up the girls at the parking lot and headed to park in Gatlinburg.  We went to the far end, paid, and left the Element in a covered car park.  Then we headed out into Gatlinburg, as none of us had ever really been there.  We were going to go thru the Ripley’s Haunted House, but I wasn’t paying $14 for it.  That was far too expensive for something I’ve done elsewhere, and while good, it wasn’t amazing.  So we walked more, found a candy shop where I had a wonderful green apple dipped in caramel and chocolate, and then we walked down to the Ripley’s Aquarium of the Smokeys around 4pm.  Mike Bartlett was just arriving in the area and was going to meet us here in a while.  So we paid and went on in.

The Aquarium was wonderful!  I had been thru the Ripley’s Aquarium in Myrtle Beach and loved it, so I knew I would like this one.  It was very similar, but also different; though that could be more because it has been a few years since I had been thru the one at Myrtle.  We wandered around looking at fish and what not until we arrived at the tunnel going under the shark and fish tanks.  We all really enjoyed standing on the moving walkway as sharks, sawfish, eels, turtles and more swam around us.  We liked it so much that we wanted to do it again.

Then I realized something.  Mike may have been trying to call…but you don’t get a signal when you’re under thousands of gallons of water on your cell.  So we went to call him, but actually saw Mike standing on the balcony above us.  We went up to meet him, and got a chance to do the first half of the aquarium all over again, which was fine, as we really kind of wanted to anyhow.  This place really was great.

We spent quite a lot of time at the aquarium, saw some feedings taking place, and petted the stingrays and lots of other stuff.  Then the crew picked up a few things at the gift shop before we headed out.  It was getting dark by this time.  Walking down main street Gatlinburg, someone saw a shop down one of the offshoot alleyways.  I mentioned how we had plenty of time, so we could go and look.  We did.  After coming around to the back of the shops, we walked down by the hotels and what not on the other street.  Then I saw something I had read about and was interested in, Mystery Mansion.  This was a haunted attraction in Gatlinburg that I’ve heard good things about, so since everyone wanted to go, we headed towards the Tiki Torches.  Tina was happy about that…

We arrived to the almost glowing white house to see nobody else around.  The attraction was open, but it was still early, and no one was there but us.  So we paid our way and headed in.  This was by far one of the best haunted houses I’ve done in a while.  This was a rather large attraction.  They have live actors that can not touch you, nor can you touch them.  It was really well done.  And it was an entire building filled up with haunted house offerings.  I was spooked a couple times, after complaining to the actors that they weren’t doing their job by scaring me.  They made up for it after that.

One thing that was fun was standing on one of the balconies that were outside on the front of the ‘mansion’.  Mike B. made the comment that it would be funny if it dropped.  We laughed.  A few minutes later, we were in an ancient Egyptian Tomb themed area, and I went onto another balcony.  And it DID drop.  It also made me scream.  Good job, scared me.  The actors got better.  We were the only ones getting the attention, after all.  Oh, and I have to say that the room with the doors was a nice touch.  As well as the first room, which was very much like a generic version of the first room on Tower of Terror at Disney’s California Adventure?  Well, except that you don’t get Rod Searling talking to you, and you have to find your way ‘behind the fireplace’.

So we walked back to the main street and picked up my car after checking out Ober-Gatlinburg.  We took the girls back to their car after checking on Mike’s, which was by the Aquarium.  We were to meet the rest of our group at the Hard Rock Café at 8pm, but I wanted to get there around 7:30 to make sure they knew we had quite a few coming.  I parked, the girls parked, and the five of us went on in to the Hard Rock to meet Brian, Alicia, and his good friend Brad.

We all got a table and waited.  Beth and company were supposed to be there soon.  So we waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.  Beth and Co. were not having a good trip.  They did finally arrive at the hard rock around 9:20.  We had eaten by that point and had a very nice time getting to know one another in person.  Hard Rock was standard, but there were far more Mohawks & kilts working there than at other Hard Rock Cafés I’ve been to. 

When the BethBus did arrive, we walked down to Wendy’s for them to eat as Hard Rock was getting crowded.  We all sat there for quite a while, and eventually went our separate ways.  Beth had rented a cabin, so Matt, Danny, and I rode in my ride for the weekend up to the cabin.  We got turned around a couple times, but found it.  It was really quaint, even without the Foosball table and the fact that their hot tub didn’t work that nite.  Oh well.  Sleep came fast for me when I eventually made it to my bed.  Would tomorrow cooperate?

[fxkked]

My inner thoughts..enjoy

xx If I could go back to a year ago and relive every second with him god I'd do it in a second I hate how much I miss him and how often I think of him I don't remember what it's like to be happy and that kills me the most God why didn't I appreciate the time I spent with him more I don't want to feel this way anymore Why would I do that.. fuck it's because I'm in love with him Ya it's just sex but I'd do anything to see him because I'm in love with him It's meaningless to him but I'm literally in love with him I just wish I could have someone I could tolerate, I can't tolerate anyone recently and I wish there was someone I could Fuck chris he's the worst person to ever come into my life Miss the days we'd eat chinese food and watch movies No one ever fucking understands If there was a painless way to kill myself I would to it without a doubt I hate how he doesn't open up to me anymore. I look at him with so much to say yet I know nothing with come out of his mouth. You used to talk to me about anything and eveything that's what I miss the most. 1:01am 12-21 I look at him and I know he has so much to say why can't you just talk to me or when will I ever let you go 1:18am 12-21 I might not be happy but I had a very happy night 12-26 10:37pm I can't believe how much I miss you every single day srill 12-31 3:44pm I'm sad again, I feel nothing, I'm so empty ur long for only his eyes to look into. When will I be okay? 1-3 9:15pm Why can't I fucking forget you the piece shit you are , why do I love you 1-4 12:07am Im getting worse by the second I need you 8:25pm 1-5 I wish I could talk to you about how shitty everything is I wish you could talk to me like a friend 1-11 10:59pm He was the only boy who made me feel a range of emotions and that's why he's will here 4:12pm 1-14 I think I need to see him to feel okay 11:16pm 1-14 I'm happy I have the people I have (Joria, Liz, bay, linds) 1:44pm 1-15 He fucks me till my legs go numb literally 5:01pm 1-15 I wish I told you I loved you more when I had the chance to 10:53pm 1-20 I'm at the point where if he let me love him I would pour everything out to him but he doesn't so I sit there silently holding it all in 1:15am 1-23 One day I'm going to look back and talk about you saying 'he was someone I dated in high school' and all these feelings I have now I won't even remeber, it's sad actually 11:41pm 1-33 I can't breath and then I need you 9:30 2-17 Everything's been so shitty fuck I wish you were home id drive over in a second 1:04am 2-19 I've gotten used to staying up late because I'm just waiting for you to text me to come over 1:29am 2-19 I knew you'd get sick of me and somehow I'm surprised 8:27pm 2-20 I want to talk to you but there's nothing to say 11:26pm 2-24 *Some nights are hard, the though of never seeing him again makes my heart drop into my stomach 9:31pm 3-5 I can't believe how sad I am today over you I wish I could go back 3:16pm 3-6 Why do I let people use me so often, I deserve the world Why can't anyone see me for the person I am I deserve I long to be held and kissed I want to be in someone's arms I want someone to see me for the gift that I am 3-14 11:43am Damn it like why the fuck do I let myself get attached to any boy that gives me affection, I deserve better, everyone fucking sucks 10:05pm 3-20 So much I wish I could say to you fuck I hate holding it all in 11:13pm 3-20 Not prepared to let you go, but I have to 12:04am 3-27 *I never learned how to let you go, or live without you 3:43 3-27 I'm having the hardest time believing I can truly make someone happy and it's because you fucked me up 4-11 10:22pm The feeling you get listening to a song and thinking about that person and wanting to badly to kiss them is an incredible feeling 10:38pm 4-22 fuck you for making me believe you loved me this was the worst fucking night in a while and it's because I really wished that was you saying it, I wish you loved me fuck I still love you 9:07 pm 5-1 I hate how I'll always care about you, even if I am with someone else you'll still be my world 11:53pm 5-1 He is still the only person to calm me down, even if he's yelling at me I can relax that's so fucked 12:10am 5-2 Haven't been this genuinely happy in a long time, forever grateful 10:16pm 5-2 Id rather slit my own wrists than be ignored 9:04pm 5-9 All of my insecurities are caused from past relationships and that's so fucked up 10:10pm 5-9 Genuine happiness what an incredible feeling 10:33pm 5-10 Scares me so much how sad I get when I don't talk to him for a couple hours 9:53pm 5-11 I don't know why when things go wrong I still want to talk to you, when I don't think about you at all anymore 10:39pm Still have urges to text you and ask to go over your house 8:55pm 5/19 *I wish I could talk to you, I wish it was 9 months earlier and I told you I loved you I wish I didn't think of you everytime I have an anxiety attack 8:53pm 5/28 I don't know why someone can give me so much love and I still feel alone and sad and it makes me miss him. I am given so much love and affection and finally being treated right and it's still not enough. Why am I so selfish fuck you're right. 9:09pm 5/30 It hurts 1:40am 6/10 Haha I'm only staying with him because I'm not ready to be miserable yet, not again, not this soon 4:31pm 6/10 I'm not happy anymore 10:19am 6/18 Living is so hard take me out of my misery 2:37am 6/22 I never learned how to breathe without you 4:16pm 6/22 I don't think the tight feeling I get in my chest when I see you with her will ever go away 11:45pm 6/25 I need to stop staying up so late for boys who are never going to answer, I'm tired of living 1:07 am 6/26 miss being touched miss your company 10:51pm 6/27 I feel like I'll never find someone that treats me right that I fully connect with 11:28pm 7/6 I'm still in love with him 9:08pm 7/9 July 2016- present I don't think I'll never not be insecure about myself, I have a boyfriend and I still don't even believe he has feelings for me 1:08 7/17 Besides that I've never felt so content waking up to his face almost every morning is a blessing, he's a blessing I've never been with someone whose so good to me, I have a good feeling about this one 1:09am 7/17 Too much left unsaid 12:34am 7/25 I've never felt this content in my life I'm so excited for the future 1:12am 7/27 So uncomfortable with myself I want to die 8:48 8/5 I really hope I stay with him for a long time, I want to marry him, I think I'm falling in love 8/10 12:29am you get so frustrated with yourself you want to crawl out of you skin but you can't you're stuck 1:41am 8/14 He finds me beautiful in times I can't even stand to look in the mirror 10:14 8/21 You hold onto things so you can remind yourself of how you felt at that particular moment because sometimes you feel nothing but pain ' I love this boy and the way he bits his nails when he's concentrating, and the scars on his stomach, and his jaw line. I want him forever he's the one thing I've been sure of I hope he never leaves me 9:05 10/2 I'm still in love with him, or maybe I'm not, I'm so confused I'm with someone who gives me the world but I still long for you, I still miss you, I still think about you, I still wish I could kiss you 8:09pm 11/3/16 Some nights I miss how messy my life used to be. I miss sneaking out to fool around in your bed at late hours. I miss being in love with a boy who didn't even know how to love himself. I miss the feeling of being needed but at the same time not wanted at all. The constant up and down extremes highs and the lowest of lows. Always on edge, never perfect, always anticipating something new. I miss those days I miss sneaking around I miss loving a boy who didn't love me back I miss the messy part of my life. 2:22am 11/21/16 I want him, but we're not right 12/6 3:21pm Don't know where to begin, I feel at times as though I'm not happy and I'm just getting by through life. I don't like my friends my school my decisions. I feel like I have never truly been happy. I am stressed out and have anxiety 24/7 and I mean it. I want to be happy I want to achieve my dreams but my anxiety gets in the way. I don't know if jake makes me happy anymore he did in the summer now there's too much he expects me to do. No ones expected anything of me ever so I can't do it I can't make him happy I don't know what he wants. I feel like I am so depressed I just don't show it. I hate school I'm dreading going back, I would rather not go at all. I think I need to do things to make myself happy but I have never done that in my whole life. I don't know how to do things for myself I just care too much about what people think to do what I want. I've never felt so lost in my whole entire life. 1/21 I wish time could stand still so I could live a moment longer than a minute. So I could hold you tight running my hands over every crevasse of your body. Hearing you breathe, your eyes scan the room, your mouth as it moves, your skin as it moves with you. Some times I don't want the moment to pass because i know once it's over it's gone and you can't get it back, the simplicity the peace is gone. Time has a way of going by too fast when you especially don't want it to. 2/7 I want to be happy. I'm surrounded by the wrong people. I'll never feel like I belong here. I'm so upset. 4/13 I want to be happy I regret so much I don't know what to od