#so money for gas isn’t insane to me at all

[lilgynt]

i know the roaches own my house but like i’m paying them rent kind of own it

[girlishwhimsies]

Can I ask about the argument between Soda and Darry in your Cherrycola AU and the details of that argument?

ilysm anon yes you absolutely can ask and i will yap forever

okay so darry is absolutely freaking out when he finds out cherry is dating soda AND pregnant. all darry has ever wanted for his brothers is for them to have a much less stressful existence than him and he KNOWS how stressful caring for another human being is, and he is terrified of soda having to care for a kid and ended up like him tbh. he is also terrified of soda not actually understanding how much effort has to go into caring for a child yknow. he doesn’t wanna be stuck caring for a baby cause soda or cherry decides to dip. also soda is working at a gas station, darry knows he isn’t making enough money to take care of a kid, darry isn’t gonna make enough money to help take care of that kid AND cherry. so darry’s head is just SPINNING thinking of all these new expenses.

so despite the facts he knows soda is gonna hate him for it (he is more than used to having to play the bad guy) he brings up putting the baby up for adoption. and soda just LOSES it. tbf he is already stressed himself trying to figure out how he is gonna become a father and darry bringing up the fact he may not be ready for it (something soda is already telling himself) just pushes him over the edge.

soda and darry don’t argue often but when they do, it’s BAD like screaming at each other and then ignoring the other and just the passive aggression would be off the charts. soda is like no we can’t give her up that’s his flesh and blood yknow but darry is so adamant that this is the best option. soda eventually just gets sooooo fed up and says if he wants to put his daughter in a foster home than he can put him there too, darry ofc does NOT want this but it only makes him angrier tbh. so then he is yelling at soda and reminding him that he is a high school drop out.

i think the head of the argument would be soda bringing up the fact that a greaser kid would get treated worse in foster care than they would in a greaser home and darry is adamant whoever took the baby in would never know they were a greaser to which soda bites back with *Bullshit, you of all people should know that being a greaser hangs on you like a stain* 🤭 which considering darry’s past with the socs where everyone still knew him as the greaser. anyway smiles!!!!

btw curtis parents and cherrycola parallels haunt me. pls ask me more i’m insane, i’m so glad to do my part to convert people to cherrycola

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Things My Dad Says That Modern AU No War Jake Sully Would Also Say:

Jake Sully is canonically a skxawng. But he’s also a little bit smooth with it, and I think he’d do it a little bit on purpose to make Neytiri and also the kids laugh.

-Neytiri and Tuk (also Spider) are the ones who will always laugh at his insane jokes. Neytiri especially. Like she always laughs. They’ve been married for like twenty years now and she’s still laughing like what he said was a surprise. Kiri and Lo’ak are NOT LAUGHING it’s NOT FUNNY shut the fuck up, Dad, oh my god. 

-Jake when Neytiri comes home from work: Neytiri, come here, let’s kiss in front of the kids and make them uncomfortable. 

-Every time they stop to get gas on a road trip and they go into the rest stop to pee while Neytiri fills the car, Jake says “Guys, don’t worry, this definitely won’t be the time she decides she can do better and just gets in the car and finally leaves us here.”

-Jake, every time Neytiri is sick: Make sure you pick the right last words for your mother in case she doesn’t wake up.

Lo’ak, always refuses to laugh at Jake’s shit: Oh really, what are your last words?

Jake, in the middle of making Neytiri tea for her sore throat: Goodbye, asshole.

Neytiri: *laughing so hard it turns into coughs*

-Every time Jake buys groceries like the good retired-veteran-stay-at-home-husband he is, he sends Neytiri a picture of the flowers and says he didn’t buy them because he knows she’d rather spend the money on the kids, and it’s their shared money anyway. He’s joking and it’s supposed to make her laugh, but she knows he’s also serious. They have five kids including latchkey child Spider, and do have to pay attention to every penny. On her birthday and on Valentine’s Day, he actually buys the flowers and presents them to her and says he scrounged the money up from behind Lo’ak’s bed. (Lo’ak: HEY!) It makes her laugh every time. It’s their cute little thing, it means he’s thinking of her every time he goes to the store even if he doesn’t spend the money every time. (Lo’ak: those are my flowers then.)

-Jake, pointing at the screen every time they watch any movie: That’s actually how me and your mother met. 

It was most egregious when they were watching Titanic. 

Lo’ak, confrontational: Oh really? You’re dead dad? And mom is like 90 years old?

Jake: Oh my god, Lo’ak, you never comment on a woman's age.

Neytiri: *hysterical laughter from the kitchen*

-Sometimes Lo’ak will forget something he needs for school and sprint back into the house to go back for it, and every time Jake and Neytiri are sitting at the kitchen table finishing their breakfast watching him and Jake goes “How can we miss you if you just won’t leave?” Neteyam copies Jake a lot and he says that shit all the time when Lo’ak, Kiri, or Spider forget something, they hate it (secretly love it).

-Kiri, complaining about what a kid did at school: -and then she told the teacher I didn’t do any of the work. Isn’t that crazy?

Jake, nodding sagely: Mhm. Do you want me to go fight her?

Neytiri: *surprised laughter*

Kiri, trying not to laugh: *deep sigh* You can’t fight a teenage girl, Dad.

Jake, pretend hurt: You think I can’t beat a teenage girl?

-Neytiri works at the hospital with Ronal. Ronal is a doctor and Neytiri is a nurse. Jake likes to put on episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and then tell Neytiri they could’ve used a better nurse during almost every scene. 

-When the Sully’s and Tonowari’s family have their first big family dinner after Lo’ak and Tsireya start dating, Jake comes down the stairs in his underwear and his stained marines t-shirt and says “I’M READY TO GO!’ and Tuk and Neytiri die laughing while Lo’ak has an aneurysm. 

[financialzero5]

Why CometCare is the best ending (AKA why the public knowing about SparkleCare isn’t possible)

Let’s say, by some insane leak from a government official mad about their paycheck, the events of SparkleCare got leaked to the public, with enough evidence to back all of it up. Hooray right? Everyone knows what the patients and staff went through. Now this is the best ending! Here’s several reasons why this happening would be AWFUL for the Comet family (and nearfamily)

-Staff would be arrested | Imagine that you hear that the hospital you thought was safe and caring for their patients was actually torturing and killing them instead, while siphoning money out of their insurance. What would be your first reaction? The likely answer is get everyone involved imprisoned! And the government, now having to clean up their mess, would likely follow through with this in an attempt to show that they’re not incompetent. Now who do we know that was involved? This does include immoral characters like Sunny and Cuddles, but this also includes ALL the staff, like Boxa, Lovella, and most importantly for the Comets, DOOM, Mood, and Rem. I don’t think I need to explain why DOOM being arrested would be devastating for the Comets.

-EVERYONE finds out | The only person we see in CometCare that knows anything about SparkleCare outside of those involved with it, is Faerie. Faerie has a strained relationship with their parents, ESPECIALLY Boxa, due to him knowing what she did to people. Now imagine how characters like Marco or Cream would react to finding out one of their parents tortured and killed people. It’s stated in DOOM’s Toyhouse page that Marco’s respect means the world to him, and he does everything he can to make sure he doesn’t lose that respect. And Cream is noted for latching onto a bad thing about someone and never being able to move on from it. Needless to say, if DOOM somehow got out of being arrested, this would devastate him just as much. And this also affects the other parents, Uni, Polly, and Barry. A lot of their kids definitely wouldn’t understand why they were lying to them about all of this, and this would harm their relationship with their kids greatly. While this does mainly affect DOOM, I’m pretty sure finding out that their parents kept something like that hidden from them would sour their relationship quite a bit.

-Internet being the internet | Now this is mostly unsupported information, but considering that NO ONE believed the patients that broke into the music festival, covered in their own blood and wounds, it wouldn’t shock me if there were still some Bwitter users that think all of it is a government coverup for something else. Personally I would prefer everyone having mostly forgotten about SparkleCare’s existence, over having a bunch of True Crime podcasts talking about my trauma for money, and seeing a bunch of morons try to prove how all of it was a coverup to raise gas prices by 2%. This would be horrible for all the patients and staff, as well as their kids having to see that. Uni is also somewhat of an influencer online, so I’m sure that info coming out would be very traumatizing to both her and her fans on KneeTube.

While it sucks that all the atrocities that Cuddles committed are locked down in a government database somewhere, forever hidden from the public eye, this is just how it has to be. CometCare is the “best case scenario” for a reason. It’s simply impossible for that info to be public, AND have the victims live normal lives.

[ugh-yoongi]

Hi! Would it be possible to request for another part or a continuation of ‘(don’t fear the reaper)’? Thank you and congrats on the milestone!

hi, thank you so much for the request — and for wanting a second part of my silly little story. i hope you enjoy this. <3

read the original drabble :)

(redefine happiness)

pairing: reaper!jungkook x f. reader genre: supernatural au; crack/humor, a little fluff warnings: swearing, mentions of death (inc. the death of a loved one) and grief, l*ndlords, bickering, slight emotional hurt/comfort. unedited. rating: mature-ish. just because one part deals heavily with death/grief, so if you're sensitive to that kind of thing, i would probably skip it. wordcount: 1.4k

They say you start life with two bags: one full of luck, and the other empty with experience. The trick is to fill the one before you empty the other.

If you ask Jungkook, your experience bag is still woefully empty.

“You know that smell isn’t normal, right?”

You huff. Roll your eyes even though he can’t see you from his spot on your couch. Well, maybe he can. You haven’t fully figured out the extent of his abilities. You know you can hear him in your head and that he saves you from an untimely death four to five times per week, but to this day, the only person you know that has eyes in the back of their head is your mother. So, yeah—the jury's still out.

“It’s fine,” you retort. “I think the mayo’s just close to going bad.”

“Expired mayo doesn’t smell like sulfur.”

“Sure it does, it’s got eggs in it.”

Jungkook groans. “Do you act this dense on purpose or are you actually this dim?”

“That’s a little rude.”

“Your apartment is about to blow up from a gas leak and you’re worried about pleasantries?”

“I’m just saying,” you argue, and if you switch off the stove, that’s none of Jungkook’s business. “This is a recurring theme when it comes to you. Would it kill you to be nice to me for once?”

“I’m already dead, so no, it wouldn’t.”

“You’re insufferable.” You grab your phone from the counter, readying the emergency number. “Do I have enough time to call the gas company or am I going to blow up in the next two minutes?”

“Wouldn’t it be nice if you did?” He heaves a wistful sigh. “Blissful silence.”

“You don’t have to tell me. I’ve been praying for blissful silence for months—oh, hello! I’m calling to report a possible gas leak in my apartment. Sure, I’ll hold.”

Your landlord is an asshole.

It goes without saying, because he wouldn’t be a landlord if he wasn’t, but it’s worth repeating.

“Do you think he’ll sue me if I steal his credit card and charge it myself?”

“That’s fraud, so yeah, I’d say so.”

You hum. “Okay, but per my lease agreement, he’s supposed to compensate me for the cost of my hotel stay during repairs. Like, he signed the piece of paper that says that. And he refused, so technically he broke the law first.”

“Not sure that’s how that works,” Jungkook retorts. He’s sitting in the chair by the window, a newspaper folded over his crossed legs. Every now and then he laughs at one of the cartoons and goes quiet when he gets to the obituaries. You wonder if it’s like looking through a yearbook for him. “I wouldn’t worry about him anyway.”

He says it in that very matter-of-fact way that always makes the hair on your arms stand up. “What’s that supposed to mean? Jungkook, what does that mean? Is my landlord going to die?”

“You know I can’t tell you that.”

You groan, throw yourself backwards onto the mattress. It’d be nice to take a shower, but the hotel towels are stiff and itchy from the industrial-strength detergent, and you’ve been trying to convince yourself to get up and go buy something marginally better for the last fifteen minutes. But it seems like such a waste to spend money on a towel, and the thought of spending money at all when your dickhead landlord is still refusing to cough up your compensation does nothing but make your blood pressure spike. Which makes—

“Can’t you meditate or something? You’re driving me insane.”

The ceiling bears the brunt of your glare. “I didn’t even say anything.”

“I can hear it.”

“Hear what?”

“Your blood pressure.”

“You’re full of shit,” you accuse. “Why are you even here, anyway? Don’t you have someone else to annoy into an early grave?”

“That’s not my job, first of all. Second of all, there’s someone nearby that I have to pick up in roughly three and a half minutes.”

“Nearby…? Like, how nearby? Next door? Down the hall? A few floors up?”

Jungkook doesn’t answer. Not really. Instead, he says, “I’d suggest you go and buy those towels now.”

So you do.

Is it weird to be lonely when you’ve got a voice in your head?

Feels like it is. Feels like other people would’ve taken advantage of it by now. Made friends or something, as much as one can befriend a Reaper, because Jungkook’s always there and always has something to say, and sure, those things he says usually detail all of your inadequacies, but he’s still someone to talk to. Someone it’s possible to get to know. Someone you can form the kind of bond with that might cure some of this incalculable loneliness.

But it’s not like that between the two of you, so you don’t.

Your new apartment building has a rooftop—the kind you can sit on the ledge and dangle your feet off of as you marvel at the city below. Everything is small and insignificant from your place in the sky, and it helps a little to feel like the most powerful thing in the universe.

“You’re not gonna—”

“No,” you cut Jungkook off. “I just like to sit up here sometimes. It’s calming.”

“It’s nearly freezing. There’s two weeks until winter.”

“I don’t mind the cold,” you say, and it might be the most personal thing you’ve ever said to him. Isn’t that pathetic, you think, and you steel yourself for a quip that never comes.

“Is that why you’re up here, then?”

You shrug. “Been having a hard time of it lately, I think. Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Maybe.”

“When you go to collect people, do they talk to you? Like, I know they can see you the way I can, but…” You trail off, looking at the specks of people on the sidewalk below you. Can’t help but wonder. “Are they usually resigned? Do they try to bargain with you?”

Jungkook appears at your side. Sits beside you and dangles his feet off the ledge, too. “Every collection is different, but it usually depends on how they died.” He sucks in a breath, toys with the hem of his thick sweater. “If they’d been sick for a long time? Sure, those people are usually accepting. They usually get the chance to say their goodbyes. That’s… well. That’s not typically the case when it’s sudden.”

“Right, yeah. That makes sense.”

“Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know. I guess—I lost someone a few years ago. I was just wondering if it was peaceful for her.”

“Your grandmother,” Jungkook says, and it’s a statement, not a question. “You carry your grief around with you like a shadow. It’s impossible not to notice it.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“I think I figured out why you can see and hear me.” You quirk an eyebrow. “Your grief is overwhelming. It was one of the first things I noticed about you, once the shock wore off, but you also reminded me of someone. Took me a while to place it, but then I remembered.”

“You collected her,” you say, putting the pieces together.

“I did.”

“Were you as much of a pain in the ass to her as you are to me?”

Jungkook scoffs, though the corners of his mouth tug upwards. “No, but the two of you are very similar.”

“Yeah, my mom used to tell me that all the time.” You sigh, dreading the question you know you need to ask, but as soon as you steady your nerves and open your mouth, Jungkook’s holding up a hand to stop you.

“It was peaceful for her.” He answers your unspoken question with all the kindness and comfort it requires. “She was ready, and she knew you’d been there to say goodbye to her.”

“Oh,” you choke out around the lump in your throat. “Thank you.”

Jungkook nods. “She did try to bargain with me, though. She asked if there was someone who could look after you. Said you were smart and capable and… stubborn as an ox, I think were her exact words, but she still worried about you.”

“And you got stuck with that job? Sorry, but you don’t seem like the babysitting type.”

“I’m not, but somehow I did.”

You can’t help but laugh, disbelieving and overwhelmed. “Well, it’s lucky for me, knowing how many times you’ve saved my ass, but I’m sure you’re counting down the days until you’re free from me.”

“No,” he replies, and the conviction in his tone nearly has you tumbling over the ledge. Jungkook seems to exist solely to give you shit and remind you how underprepared you are to survive in the world. He doesn’t say no with that amount of faith and principle. “No, little bluebird, I’m not counting down the days at all.”

[slutforstabbings-archive]

Sandwiched

Corey Cunningham x bisexual!fem!Reader x bisexual!Allyson Nelson

A few months after escaping Haddonfield, Allyson starts to have feelings for a barista at her favorite coffee shop (you). She and Corey decide to explore the potential of a relationship with you, at least for one night. My first time posting smut so feedback is extra appreciated!

Warnings - drinking, fingering, vaginal sex, voyuerism, F/F/M threesome. Pretty straightforward

5,581 words

@rebel-blue @nachtmahr666 @wolvesandvampires @cordelium @multifandom--mess @toxicanonymity and @clemkruckinnie (ik we haven't interacted much but i saw you saying you wish there was more Allyson content a while back, so I thought I'd tag you!)

18+, minors dni

Allyson is at the nurse’s desk when her phone rings. She’s not even supposed to have it on her, but since she didn’t get the promotion, she doesn’t give a fuck. Mathis isn’t even here today. She steps away from the desk and answers. 

“We need to leave,” Corey’s strained voice says on the other end of the line. 

“I can’t right now, I’m at work.”

“Tonight, then. Will you meet me at 9 at the diner off 74? We need to talk about your grandmother. She wants to kill me.”

“What?”

“Look, I can’t take it anymore. It’s time to say goodbye to Haddonfield.” The finality in Corey’s voice scares Allyson. 

“Corey, wait!” She hisses. 

He doesn’t say anything but the call doesn’t disconnect. 

“I can’t leave without making a scene right now. But my lunch is in 30 minutes. I’ll go pack, I already started last night, and then I’ll pick you up or meet you somewhere. Just give me an hour.”

“An hour.” He repeats, his voice sounding even more strained than before. 

“Just stay somewhere safe, I’ll go as fast as I can. Please don’t do anything stupid.” Allyson says.

It’s been four months since Allyson clocked out for lunch, got in her car, and drove away from Haddonfield forever. Corey followed her Ford station wagon on his motorcycle, west, south, back east, south again. They stayed on the move for weeks, living off each of their savings, staying in flea bitten motels or sleeping in Allyson’s car. 

Corey checked the news obsessively, but never in front of Allyson. Whenever one of them went to the bathroom, when he went into the gas station alone to buy snacks while she pumped the gas, late at night when he couldn’t sleep. Until he was sure Doug and Dr. Mathis weren’t going to be traced back to him. Allyson had been ready to quit driving around for a long time by then, and finally, without telling her why, Corey gave in and they settled somewhere.

They both went back to their previous professions. Allyson found a job in a general practitioner’s office. A doctor she actually likes and respects, a doctor who treats his employees well. Corey wound up at a dealership, doing repairs on American cars, Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep. They got a nice little apartment. They both make way more money than they did in Haddonfield, and the discount Corey gets on cars is insane, so he surprised Allyson with a new car for her birthday. 

Neither of them can quite believe how good things are going. That they escaped, left it all behind, and now they’re just… Well, not normal, but they can fool everyone else into thinking they are. There’s a coffee shop that Allyson has become a regular at. It’s not far from the hospital so she stops there sometimes, in the mornings before work, on her lunch break, on her days off when she’s in the neighborhood. Being a regular somewhere helps her feel like she’s actually part of the community, not just a tourist. It makes the facade she and Corey maintain that little bit more convincing. 

You’ve been a barista for a year when a girl you’ve never seen before comes in. While you have a few people you know by name, or by their order, most of the customers just sort of blend together. This girl though, she’s so pretty, with dark green eyes and a little button of a nose. You know you would remember if she’d come in before. Almond milk latte and a blueberry muffin. She lets you spell her name wrong on the cup.

“That’s how it should be spelled,” she jokes. 

You make a mental note to spell it right if you see her again, and you really hope you do. 

It takes two weeks, but on a Thursday morning she comes in again, wearing forest green scrubs that accentuate her green eyes. 

“Almond milk latte?” You say instead of hello.

“You remembered!?” She replies in shock.

“Of course,” you say. “A-L-L-Y-S-O-N.” You turn the cup around to show her.

“I’m impressed!” She claps her hands. Your heart flutters in your chest a little. 

The next time she comes in, it’s a Saturday afternoon, just as you’re about to leave. Your coworker has already clocked in and is standing at the register, prepared to take the order, but you haven’t clocked out yet, so you ask if you can do one more. She has a man with her this time, and he’s just as gorgeous as she is, with an unruly mop of brown hair, and a broad, athletic build. They’re holding hands. Well, shit, you think. 

“Hey Allyson,” you say, smiling widely. A little thing like a boyfriend isn’t going to stop you from being nice to a regular. 

“Hey!” She says. She greets you by name even though you’ve already taken your name tag off for the day. You’re not the only one going out of their way to remember things it seems. The man’s name is Corey. Up close you can see his freckles and his dense eyelashes behind his glasses. 

“Bummer your girl has a boyfriend,” a coworker says when you go into the back to finally actually clock out.

“Yeah. Ugh,” you sigh. “But did you see him? Be still my bisexual heart.” 

Once, when Allyson has been a regular for a couple months, she comes in on your day off. You’re there anyway, feeding the caffeine monkey that lives on your back. It’s dead so you’re leaning on the counter talking to your coworkers as they make your drink.

“Aren’t you supposed to be on that side?” She asks, pointing behind the register.

“Not today, Ally Cat,” you say. The nickname is a huge gamble but to your shock and great joy, she fucking giggles. 

She orders her coffee and sits down at a table. You walk by her on the way out and she calls your name.

“Do you wanna sit down? Not to make you hang out at work on your day off, but you were kinda already here.”

You pretend to deliberate, but of course you’re going to stay, at least as long as you can. You pull out the other chair at her tiny table. You get so absorbed talking to her you almost forget you had plans, and another friend is waiting for you. You apologize for not being able to stay longer.

“Well we should just plan to hang out sometime then,” she suggests.

“Yeah? That would be awesome.”

She gives you her number and you text her to give her yours. Then in your car you text the friend you’ll now be late to hang out with. She’ll forgive you when she finds out why.

 Over text, you and Allyson decide to go to the mall. She picks you up in the afternoon. She’s all smiles as you get in the car. You knew she was pretty, but in the sunlight coming through the windshield she looks like an angel. You struggle to keep your composure.

As you walk around the mall you’re impressed with how easy she is to talk to, and her dorky sense of humor is genuine and charming. There’s things you’re dying to know but can’t ask. Does she like girls or is she just this flirty with everyone? Is her relationship with Corey monogamous? And what’s Corey’s deal? Every time you’ve seen him he’s been so quiet and reserved, but when he speaks there’s something magnetic about him. And his eyes are so intense, you know he’s got a hell of a story. But you try not to ask too many questions. You don’t want to seem weird. 

Neither of you is really shopping, but you always wind up seeing something that catches your eye. You find a top that really speaks to you and, even better, it’s on clearance. The only problem is, it’s the only one left and a size down from what you usually wear. You present it to Allyson. 

“You would look so good in that,” she says. 

“It’s one size too small,” you say, exaggerating a pout. 

“Here,” she says, guiding your hand with the top on the hanger to your chest. She lines the shoulder seams up with the shirt you’re wearing, then smooths the top on the hanger down your front and around your sides, lining the side seams up too. It’s totally innocent, but you feel yourself gushing anyway. It’s the most she’s ever touched you. “I think you should try it on. It would look incredible and it seems like it’ll fit.” 

“Okay, you convinced me.”

In the dressing room you get the top on, and technically it does fit. But you feel like if you moved too quickly you could hulk out of it by accident. You try to take it off, but you hear the stitches groaning. Oh no. 

You open the fitting room door and she’s standing right there. 

“See!” She exclaims, eyes lighting up. 

“Yeah,” you smile sheepishly, “It looks great, but there’s a problem.”

“What?”

“It felt like it was gonna tear when I tried to take it off. Can you help me?” You stand back from the door and let her in. 

She closes the door, then turns to face you. You look into each other’s eyes for what is probably only a few seconds, but feels much, much longer. 

“Raise your arms,” she says without breaking eye contact.

You do as you’re told. She curls her fingers under the hem of the shirt. Her fingers are cold, but her touch would’ve given you goosebumps either way. Slowly, carefully, much more slowly and carefully than she really needs to, she works the top up your stomach and over your breasts. You’re not wearing a bra and you know she notices, but she doesn’t look anywhere other than into your eyes until the shirt comes over your face and you can’t see her anymore. With the shirt almost all the way off, stretched between your arms above your head and still stuck on your shoulders, she instructs you to lean forward. You bend at the waist and she takes the shirt the rest of the way off, pulling it languidly down the length of your arms. 

“There you go,” she says with a small smile when you’re finally free.

“Thanks,” you say quietly. 

You take a step towards her. Your nipples harden in the cold air, and with the distance between you closed they almost press against her. You both hold your breath. She looks down at your tits, then the rest of the way to the floor.

“Hand me the hanger?” She says. 

You hand her the hanger, then pull the shirt you came with back on. She rehangs the top she’s holding and deposits it on the reject rack as you exit the store. You feel awkward walking back through the mall, cheeks burning, heart racing. What was that? You wonder. Allyson is quiet. Without talking about it, you make your way out of the mall and back to her car. 

“I had fun,” she says, breaking the tension as she starts the engine.

“Me too,” you smile at her, still feeling a little unsure of what just happened.

“We should hang out again sometime. With Corey too.”

“I’d love that,” you reply. 

When Allyson gets home Corey is sprawled on the couch watching TV. 

“How was the mall?” he asks, sitting up and making room for her. 

“It was great,” she says, plopping down next to him. He wraps his arm around her shoulders and squeezes her against him. “I really like her.”

“Do you… like her?” 

Allyson has had feelings for girls since she was a young teenager, but she hadn’t felt able to articulate it before she got out of Haddonfield. Corey brought things out in Allyson, she felt she could tell him anything, but there were things she couldn’t tell even herself until she escaped the tomb her hometown had become. One night, under the scratchy blanket at a Super 8, unsure if Corey was even still awake, Allyson had whispered the word for the first time. Corey accepted it easily. After all, hadn’t he stirred for men at times? For his AP Physics teacher, and then for Roger Allen, and then for Michael Myers? They had never discussed what Allyson’s confession might mean for the relationship. 

“Yes,” Allyson says quietly. She does like you. 

Corey is loath to share Allyson with someone. He can’t help but feel like she would just wind up preferring them to him, leaving him all alone. But he’s seen you and Allyson interact. He’s recognized the looks she gives you. And in the moments he’s been witness to it, while his jealousy did rage, it was far outweighed by a feeling of warmth. How radiant Allyson is when she’s happy. How lucky he is that she ever made those faces at him, and that she continues to do so, even as he watches her infatuation with you deepen.

And Corey is attracted to you too. The first time he saw you he understood why Allyson was always talking about this mythical barista that remembered her order and how to spell her name.The customer service was not what Allyson was excited about.The idea of you and Allyson together instantly makes his cock rock hard under his sweatpants.

Allyson sees it happen, and reaches out to rest her hand on the imprint in the fabric. “What’s this for?” she asks playfully.

“For you liking her,” Corey says reluctantly.

“What was that?” She teases, squeezing gently. 

“You heard me,” he growls, pressing himself into her hand.

“No, I think you should repeat yourself.” She laughs and takes her hand away.

Corey catches Allyson’s wrist in his huge hand. “You. Know. What I said.” He brings her hand to his mouth and kisses her palm. He gently bites each of her fingers. Then he places her hand back on his cock. 

“I think she likes me. And I think she’s into you too,” Allyson says, slowly stroking Corey through his pants.

“Me?” He moans. “Wh-what makes you think that?”

“She asked me about you a lot. And she told me when she makes your drink she puts an extra half pump of syrup in it for free.” Allyson slides her hand under Corey’s waistband to grip him directly, and 

with that there is no more talking.

In the morning Corey and Allyson do their usual routine.She curls her hair and does her makeup while he leans in the doorway and watches. 

“I think I'm getting coffee on my lunch break,” she says, winding a strand of hair around her curling iron.”What if I invite her to get dinner with us? Somewhere nice.”

“Like a date?” Corey asks.

“Yeah.” Allyson looks at him in the mirror and grabs another lock of hair to curl. “Like all three of us on a date.”

“I’m not convinced she’s interested in me,” he says.

“Well, that’s what dates are for. To see if you’re interested in somebody.”

Corey can’t argue with that. He pulls out his phone and searches for nice restaurants in the area while Allyson dabs concealer under her eyes. 

“What do your evenings look like next week?” Allyson asks. At this point she doesn’t bother ordering and you don’t bother telling her her total. The coffee transaction happens in the background of your conversation.

“I think I’m wide open,” you tell her. Your sharpie is dry so you throw it away and dig a pack of new markers out from under the register.

“‘Do you want to get dinner with me and Corey one night?” 

“Absolutely!” You say, completely failing to hide your excitement.Your hand shakes and you accidentally make a stray line on her cup. You turn it into a star to cover your mistake “Where were you thinking?”

“Would it be crazy if we went somewhere kinda… Upscale?” Allyson wiggles her eyebrows.”I heard about this place called The Frontier? Have you ever been?”

“You really meant upscale!” You laugh. “I’ve only been once, years ago.That would be really fun.”

The two of you agree on Wednesday, hoping there will still be reservations left in the middle of the week, then she leaves with her coffee. Out in the parking lot, she sees the star next to her name and feels giddy.

Holy shit. The fucking Frontier. That has to mean it’s a date, right? You think to yourself. 

“The Frontier!” One of your coworkers says next to you, as if hearing your thoughts. “She’s so DTF.”

“It’s just dinner.” You say, waving your hand dismissively. But God do you hope it’s not just dinner.

As you get ready for your night with Corey and Allyson it’s still not clear to you what her intentions were in inviting you. You think about the moment you had with Allyson in the dressing room and hear your coworker’s voice. She’s so DTF. But Corey will be there. She wouldn’t bring him if she was down to fuck, would she? Unless she wants you to fuck Corey? You would fuck Corey happily. As excited as you are to see her alone, you always find yourself hoping Corey will be with her so you can look at him. So you can be reminded of the way his giant hands dwarf his coffee cup, and how, on the rare occasions you see him smile, it always starts with a smirk before spreading across his whole face.But it just seems too good to be true, that either of them would want to date or have sex with you, let alone both of them. You’re probably just reading too much into it. 

Whatever. You dress like it’s a date, and if it isn’t one, there’s nothing wrong with looking hot at a fancy restaurant with some friends. You stand in front of your bathroom mirror and apply the finishing touches. Spritz of perfume, dainty gold necklace to accentuate your collar bones, making sure the front of your hair is just so. Then you go get your nice coat out of the closet and get in your car. 

On the drive over, your heart races. You’re nervous, but it’s kind of thrilling. The feeling intensifies as you get closer to the restaurant. You turn the AC up full blast and crank the volume on your radio, trying to ground yourself. The Frontier has valet parking but you’re already anticipating the price of the evening, so you park a couple blocks away and walk, despite your nice shoes not being the most comfortable. As you approach the door you see Corey and Allyson standing on the sidewalk. 

They both look so fucking hot, it’s completely unfair. Allyson has a heavy wool coat on, but it’s unbuttoned and underneath it you can see she’s wearing a dress that hugs her as tightly as a second skin from her bust to her hips before flaring out. Below the hem of the dress, her legs are toned and smooth all the way down to her feet inside her pointy, low-heeled shoes. Corey wears a leather jacket over a button down shirt with the top three buttons undone. The little bit of his chest you can see in the gap is so unholy, you feel a pang between your legs. 

Corey sees you approaching first and gives you his little smirk. He points you out to Allyson, who looks up from her phone. She beams at you, and you grin back at both of them. 

“Hey, I was just about to text you! You look great!” She exclaims, holding her arms open for a hug. You’re extremely tempted to put your arms inside her coat as it hangs away from her body, but that seems weirdly intimate, so you wrap your arms around the scratchy wool instead.

“So do you,” you say. “You both do.” You think Corey’s face seems to turn a little red at the comment, but he doesn’t react otherwise. 

Allyson leads the way to the host stand. The Wednesday reservation plan worked and the three of you get sat immediately. The hostess leads you to a round table near the back of the restaurant. It’s dark in the way of fancy restaurants, with candles on the table and overhead lights that don’t do much of anything. It’s busy and most of the tables around you are full, but when you sit down it feels intimate and cozy, like the three of you are the only people there. 

“Bottle of wine?” Allyson asks

“Sure,” you reply. 

“White or red?”

“Whatever you want.”

Your server comes to the table and pours everyone water from a crystal carafe. Allyson orders a bottle of white wine. You look at the menu and try not to get overwhelmed. It’s an “American” restaurant but all the dishes have been “elevated” beyond recognition. 

“Does this menu make any sense to either of you?” You ask

“No,” Corey says, shaking his head. 

“Not at all,” Allyson adds. 

All three of you laugh, and you relax a little, releasing tension you didn’t realize you were holding. They seem more at ease too. 

Through the whole meal, the air between you and Allyson feels charged. The flirty banter you established at the coffee shop and practiced at the mall blossoming in the romantic setting. It’s almost painful how far away from her the round table keeps you. You try to find excuses to brush your fingertips against hers across the table. She’s so DTF. You want her as much as it feels like she wants you, but you’re not so wrapped up in her that you forget about Corey. You can’t keep yourself from looking in his direction, watching him as he watches you and Allyson. He’s the most talkative you’ve ever seen him, and for the first time you detect an accent to his voice. You can’t get a read on his vibe. He must be okay with you and Allyson, but is he interested in participating? You cross your fingers under the table in hopes that he is.

After dessert you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. Allyson turns to Corey and puts her hand on his on the table. 

“What do you think?” She asks. 

“I like her,” he says. 

“Do you like her enough to invite her to come home with us?”

Corey chews his lip. The server comes by and deposits the check on the table. Allyson pays. 

“Are you sure she’s not just interested in you?” He asks when they’re alone at the table again.

“Corey, are you blind? She’s been making eyes at you more than me! I’m sure she’s interested in both of us.”

He looks away from her and bounces his leg for a second. Then he turns back to her. “Okay, let’s do it.”

You return from the bathroom to the table cleared. Corey and Allyson stand as you approach and start putting their coats on.

“We already paid,” Allyson says.

“You did? You didn’t have to do that,” you say, surprised.

“We wanted to,” she tells you simply.

“Thank you so much. I owe you one.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she reassures you. “Would you like to come back to our place?” She asks as you exit the restaurant. 

Your heart flutters and between your legs pulses. Yes, yes, one million times yes. “Sure,” you say, trying to play it cool. 

Corey goes to get their car from the valet. 

“You can ride with us if you want. And we’ll bring you back to your car later.”

“Okay. Sounds good to me.”

The valet pulls the car to the front of the restaurant. Corey hands him cash, then gets in the driver’s seat and closes his door. 

“Why don’t you sit in the front with Corey?” Allyson suggests. 

You open the front passenger door and Corey smiles at you. You smile back as you slide into the car. Shoegaze music comes softly through the speakers. As Corey pulls out of the valet lane, Allyson leans forward behind you. She reaches over the back of your seat to put a hand on your shoulder. She caresses the side of your neck with her slender fingers. Then Corey reaches over to put a wide, freckled hand on your thigh, finally confirming he wants you too.

“Is this okay?” Allyson asks, her voice right behind your ear. 

“Yeah,” you say, voice breathy. Holy shit, you think. Just having their hands on you like this is extremely erotic. Your heart pounds, thinking about all the ways they could gang up on you. Allyson’s hand slides up into your hair to massage your scalp with her short nails. You work hard to control your breathing, but as Corey starts to slide his hand up and down your thigh, you know they can hear what they’re doing to you. 

Mercifully, the ride to their place is short. They live on the second floor and Corey takes the lead up the stairs. You follow him. From below you on the stairs, Allyson reaches out for your hand and you lace your fingers with hers for a few seconds. Inside their apartment you shrug your coat off and Allyson hangs it in the front closet with hers and Corey’s. You’re still so aroused from the car ride, but you’re nervous too. You’ve never had a threesome before but even with all your hoping tonight would lead to one, you don’t know what to expect. Your hands shake a little as you sit on the couch.

Allyson sits next to you, and Corey opts for an armchair to the side, resuming his role as watcher. You sit there awkwardly for a minute, with your knee touching Allyson’s, trying to gather the courage to make the move. Sensing your hesitation, she reaches out and tucks a stray hair behind your ear.You look at her and she smiles and you find the strength to lean in and kiss her. 

If the air in the restaurant had crackled with the electricity between the two of you, the kiss is the bright flash and harsh sting of a static shock. A tiny, momentary explosion that only releases the tension for a split second. The more you kiss her, the more you need to kiss her, and the more she kisses you back. It’s messy and dizzying and so much fun. She scoots closer to you, then closer still, until you’re pressed against each other hard. Without speaking, you put your arms up over your head. She giggles and pulls your top off of you between kisses, much less carefully than in the dressing room. 

Allyson reaches behind her own back and pulls the zipper on her dress down halfway. Your hands follow hers and you unzip her completely. She removes her arms from her sleeves and the top of the dress falls to her lap, then she stands halfway up so the dress drops to the floor, kissing you all the while. She sits with her back against the arm of the couch and spreads her legs, inviting you between them. You sit with one of her legs behind you and one in your lap. You rub your hand up and down the leg in your lap, enjoying her smooth skin and the toned muscle of her slender thigh. You hear Corey unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants.Your breathing quickens.

You move your hand from Allyson’s leg to her tit. It’s a perfect, perky handful. You squeeze it gently and she moans into your mouth. Her hand comes over yours and she makes you squeeze harder. Your clit throbs with arousal. Keeping her hand on yours, Allyson guides you down from her chest to the waistband of her panties. You slip your hand under the elastic. She’s completely soaked. You slide your fingers up and down her slit before slipping between her labia to find the hard bud of her clit, rubbing a light circle around it when you do. Allyson throws her head back and whines. You kiss down her gracefully arched neck. 

Corey groans softly. You turn your head to look at him. He’s slouched in the armchair, face flushed bright red and eyes almost black. His pants are pulled down just enough for you to see his hard, pink cock and dense reddish pubes. He’s undone another button on his shirt and he has one hand inside the opening. Allyson follows your gaze to Corey and he holds you both in his intense stare while you swirl your fingers slowly around the bundle of nerves between her legs. 

Allyson makes the prettiest sounds as she starts getting closer, and you break eye contact with Corey to watch her face as she scrunches up her button nose in pleasure. She pulls you in for a kiss and as you kiss her you feel weight on the couch behind you. You expect to feel Corey’s hands on you, but he keeps them to himself as you pick up the pace of your fingers against Allyson’s clit. She reaches up to put her hand on your face as she climaxes, rocking her hips hard, pressing desperately against your hand. You work her all the way through it, feeling her twitch against you as the aftershocks come. 

Finally you slip your hand out of her panties, slippery and shiny. She points over your shoulder and you turn toward Corey. He puts the fingers you used on Allyson in his mouth and sucks them clean, one by one. Then he pulls you in for a kiss, letting you taste her on his lips. Allyson shifts a little to make room for you, then pulls you against her. Your head rests on her chest and she lightly sets her chin on your crown. Corey tugs at the waistband of the bottoms you never removed. You bridge your hips off the couch and he pulls your underwear down at the same time. Then he drops his own pants and underwear. He’s already taken his shirt off and rolled a condom onto his cock, which twitches as he takes in the sight of you and Allyson laying together below him.

He kisses Allyson above you, then lowers himself to kiss you again. He laps against your lips with a hot tongue and you let him into your mouth. His hands knead your thighs while Allyson’s cup your tits. You’re so wet you feel like you must be dripping. Corey uses his grip on your thighs to push them towards your chest, opening you up, then lays his cock directly between your lips. You shudder in Allyson’s arms. She rolls one of your nipples delicately between her fingers. 

Corey slides the length of his shaft against you, back and forth, top to bottom. You whimper and thrust your hips up every time the swollen head of his dick brushes your clit or catches just a little on your entrance until finally he slips it inside you. Your breath catches and you make a squeaking sound. They both giggle.

“That was so cute,” Allyson whispers in your ear just as Corey sinks the rest of his length into you. 

You can’t believe you’re sandwiched between two of the hottest people you’ve ever seen. It exceeds your wildest dreams. As Corey thrusts in and out of you, Allyson runs her hands all over your body. Playing with your tits, dragging her fingertips up and down your sides, working her way down. She wedges a hand between you and Corey and starts to rub your clit. Your mind goes blank of every thought except for how good this feels. Some distant part of you knows you’re panting and moaning so loud the neighbors can probably hear you, but you don’t give a shit, and Corey and Allyson only encourage you.

“Say ‘fuck me, Corey,’” Allyson tells you, lips pressed against the shell of your ear. “It drives him crazy.”

“Fuck me, Corey,” you plead. “Oh Corey, fuck me!” 

It does drive him crazy, every time you repeat it he increases the speed and force of his thrusts, pounding you so hard you’d be worried about Allyson underneath you if she wasn’t having so much fun getting you to egg him on. 

Detecting the change in your breathing indicating your impending orgasm, Allyson puts her lips to your ear again. “Tell him you’re gonna cum.”

“I’m gonna cum!” you wail. “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum, Corey, I’m… I’m…”

Your orgasm hits you like a truck as Allyson furiously rubs your clit and Corey slams into you. The way you clench around him pulls him over the edge with you and he groans deeply as he pushes into you one last time before stilling. The three of you pant, spent, for several minutes.

They don’t drive you back to your car. Instead they lead you to their bedroom. Corey lays in the middle of the bed and you and Allyson snuggle into his sides, holding hands across his toned stomach. None of you knows what the events of the evening mean. But you can worry about that, and your car, in the morning. Right now you just want to drift off to sleep in heaven.

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

I know $60 for dog medicine isn’t insane, but dang, this is bad timing.

I am exactly one week from the little comic convention that’s my only chance of fun for the year, and the roller coaster of will I or won’t I get to go is driving me nuts!

One day I get a gift from an online friend (Thanks again!) that makes me sure I can go, the next day I have a problem with one of the dogs and then I am back to not knowing if I can afford to go!

It’s funny (pathetic) really. The con is only 50 miles away and admission is cheap. Most people would find it a no brainer to go, especially when it’s your only social activity/recreation of the entire year.

But then most people have “disposable income”.

I ain’t got any income at all, and not one penny I have is disposable! LOL

You know though, I have been so busy surviving, doing things because I have to do them rather than because I want to do them, that I deserve a day “off”. I feel guilty saying it, but I kinda think it’s true. One day a year doing something for myself shouldn’t feel shameful, for crying out loud!

I know you are saying, well just spend a day at home lounging about reading or something. That’s free! But the simple fact is, if I am at home I will HAVE to be useful. After half an hour flopped I will feel guilty and end up trying to repair the sink or out cutting brush or something for a few hours. To actually take a break I need to go somewhere else.

Next Saturday will I be afford to take a day (or 9 hrs of it) for me? Who knows!!!

I hope I can decide after Thursday. That day I’ll check the bank account, do the shopping for the month, and buy gas**. If I have enough money left then, I’ll just have to cross my fingers crossed nothing else goes wrong before Saturday.

Of course, if I do get to go, and with the money already used on shopping, I’ll have to spend the rest of the month with my fingers crossed I don’t need more until September. My fingers are going to get soooo sore! LOL

**Weird it isn’t pinging at me yet, even though it’s fallen below the last mark on it’s way to the dreaded E. It always pinged before!

[mediocracy-at-its-finest]

New Book

Why Did I Say Yes… 

Chapter One

A little word of advice, if one of your dumb ass friends invites you to explore an abandoned mansion, tell them to suck it. If I had had the balls to do that, I wouldn't be in this situation. Running from a pissed off, midieval, nobel vampire isn’t how I would like to spend my Tuesdays, but here we are. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, so lets rewind a little

Hello, I’m Catherine Blane, I’m 23 and way to old to be doing dumb shit like this. Or, at least I thought I was. 

Two Hours Ago

“Come on Cath! You never do fun stuff with us anymore!” cried the blond. I glared over at her hard as I picked up the plates on the table.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t consider breaking into someones home fun. Also, Jenna, I’m working. If you could hold down a job for more then a few weeks you would know something about that.” I huffed as I turned from the table with several plates in my hand. Jenna Dunstock was my best friend… well former best friend. Jenna was definitely something special. I stopped hanging out with her after her second D.U.I. but that never stopped her from trying to hang out with me. I never understood why though, we were polar opposites. Jenna was wild and fun-loving, never afraid to go insane and break something... or someone. She was bright, airy, and kind of unbalanced. Everyone in our small town knew that. She did what she wanted when she wanted to, and no one could stop her. And right now she wanted me to drive her up to Witherthorn Manor, a local legend for the kids in the area. It was mostly visited by teenagers looking for a place to smoke.

“C’mon, Catherine! Don’t you want to have some fun? Don't you feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins and the thrill of doing something forbidden?” She exclaimed, with a wide grin on her face. Her bright curls bounced down the edges of her chin as she leaned closer, and her green eyes pleaded with me to listen to her.

"No Jenna! I have work to do, and I don't get off until nine. What, are you seriously expecting me to drive you to an abandoned mansion because you want to 'have some fun?'" I snapped. I glared at Jenna with an unamused expression.

"Ugh, come on, you're no fun!" she exclaimed, as she let out a loud groan. "Why can't you just relax a bit? It's not that serious. We're just taking a walk around an abandoned mansion. Like, what's the worst that could happen?"

"No way in hell I'm going! We aren't kids anymore." I hissed. "We have adult responsibilities, and I'm sure as hell not going to spend the evening getting slapped with charges for breaking and entering!" Then, I paused as memories of Daisy flooded back into my mind. She was only 12 when she went missing there. That tragedy shook our community hard, and I'm not going to risk bringing up old trauma, either. "That place is haunted, anyways - remember Daisy?"

Jenna flinched when I mentioned Daisy's name. She wasn't one to show much emotion, usually. But when it came to Daisy’s case, she always took it seriously. Because it's not something you forget. It's not something you can just pretend never happened.

“I remember,” she sighed, looking down at the ground. “But that was years ago. Just because something tragic happened there years ago doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen again.”

"Look..." I sighed, frustrated and impatient. "Just drop it already. There are tons of places in town to hang out, so who cares about that stupid, run-down old house anyway? Besides, I don't even have the gas money to drive all the way out there," I added with an annoyed roll of my eyes.

"Please, Catherine..." Jenna's green eyes pleaded. "Just let me have this. I'm tired of doing nothing in this boring old town. That place is the perfect opportunity for some fun and excitement. Don't you want to relive the glory days? You know, back when we all had fun and weren't so stressed about adult stuff?"

I sat down across from her, irritated and frustrated with the whole situation. "Fine," I snapped, pointing a finger at her. "But you're paying me for gas if I have to take you all the way there. Got it?"

Jenna grinned, satisfied with the compromise. "Hell yeah! Now we're talking!" She exclaimed, her bright energy contagious. "I'll get everyone else. Do you think Nick and Sarah would want to ride along? They've been itching for something exciting too."

"Dude!" I hissed, annoyed and agitated. "Nick is a total creep, and he's not getting in my car. I'll gladly give Sarah a ride, but don't even think about inviting him." I stood up sharply, ready to get back to work and leave this dumb conversation behind.

"Pfft, whatever." Jenna shrugged. "I'll just tell him to meet us there so he doesn't have to bug you during the ride." She smirked mischievously as she started to walk away, waving me off with a dramatic "Later!"

"No, no, no, wait!" I yelled after her, but I watched as she walked out the door. I groaned and turned to finish my shift

An Hour Later

Driving up the steep mountain in a tiny ass Honda Civic wasn’t my idea of a fun night. My head was pounding from the loud music blaring out of the one working speaker as Jenna and Sarah sang along. It was some popular song that always seemed to play on the radio, but I didn’t care enough to learn the name. I winced as Sarah failed to hit a high note in the song

“Okay! No more music!” I yelled over the blaring song as I hit the power button on the radio. Twin groans of disapproval met me and I gripped the steering wheel harder.

“Cathy you really are no fun…” complained Jenna as she slumped back in the passenger seat.

“Jen… Suck my dick. I’m trying to focus on not killing us.” I explained as I leaned forward, trying to see better in the pitch black that my headlights didn’t seem to touch. The road was long and winding, seemingly going on forever. With no warning it would go into hairpin turns with sheer drop offs on one side.

“Thanks for driving us Cath. It really means a lot.” came Sarahs voice from the back of the car. Sarah Conners was a friend of Jenna’s, I didn’t really know a lot about her, but I knew she was polite. And that was enough for me.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome…” I mumbled as I slowed the car to a stop outside of a large, ornate wrought iron gate. I let out a low whistle as I put the car in park. The gate loomed overhead, standing at a colossal twelve feet in height. Instead of looking worn from age, it appeared as strong as the day it was forged. A large "D" had been cast into the center, and it too seemed to have no signs of aging either. I slowly opened the door of my car to get out and inspect it, along with the other two in the car.

“Oh my God…” I heard Sarah whisper, and I was right there with her. The gate was impressive… and locked. I watched as Jenna tugged on the gate only to come way disappointed. 

“What? This isn’t supposed to be closed!” Jenna cried as she pulled harder. “Nick said that he was already here and he left the gate open!” My eyebrows scrunched as a bad feeling settled in my gut. Nick wasn’t known for playing pranks or making jokes like this, sure he was a perv but he wasn’t a liar.

“Maybe we should go, I don’t even see his car.” I said as I gazed through the bars of the fence. The overgrown grounds were dotted with haunting trees and crumbling statues. Dense vines crawled up the trees, almost as if they were trying to strangle what little life they had left. The statues weren’t in better shape, they were seemingly randomly scattered around the desolate grounds and they to were choked with plant life. I could barely make out the mansion from this distance but there wasn’t a car in sight.

“No, Nick said he was here.” I turned to look at Jenna only to gasp as I watched her climb the fence

“Jenna are you insane! Get down from there! You’re going to break something or get Tetanus!” I hissed at her as she climbed higher. Sarah followed her lead and started to climb aheres well. “Jenna Dunstock get your ass down right this instant or I swear to God I’ll leave you here!”

“If you’re going to be a baby then you can stay here.” Jenna laughed as she topped the gate and started down the other side. Sarah shot me a small smile as she also rounded the top of the fence. I paced back and forth as they dropped to the ground

“Jenna you have done a lot of dumb shit in your life but this one takes the fucking cake! You’re going to get murdered or something in there and I’m not going to feel bad about it at all!” I yelled as I stormed back to my car. I opened the door and slid into the seat as I watched Jenna flip me off from behind the gate. I scowled and flipped her off right back as I started the car… only to have the engine not turn over. “What..? No… No, no, no. no don’t do this to me now.” I pleaded with the car as I tried it again. Nothing. I groaned and dropped my head onto the wheel. When I looked up Jenna was gone but Sarah was still standing at the gate looking concerned.

“Everything okay?” I could barely hear her say before I grabbed my bag and got out of the car

“No, my car won’t start.” I growled as I kicked the tire. No tow truck company would even think about coming all the way out here to tow an almost 13 year old car. I turned to the gate and grabbed the iron to start climbing, only to have it open with a slight push. “Huh… I though Jenna tried to open it and it wouldn’t… strange…” I mumbled as I walked through.

“She did, and so did I. Maybe you’re magic!” She giggled. I rolled my eyes in annoyance and closed the gate behind me

“Whatever. Where did she go anyway?” I asked as I threw my bag over my shoulder. I looked around the creepy grounds and shuddered in the cool fall air. I should have brought a jacket.

“She said she was heading to the house because thats where Nick was.” Sarah replied as she zipped up her coat.

“Damnit. I hate that guy…” I growled lowly as I started walking. I kept my gaze on the ground to keep from tripping and breaking something, that would be the last thing I needed. The loose gravel crunched under my weight as I stepped over some vines. Everything was overgrown and unkempt. Well… I guess I shouldn’t complain, no ones lived here for almost a decade now, so there wasn’t anyone to take care of the place. After almost 15 minutes of walking we finally reached the front porch. The first step was broken but the rest seemed fine. I hesitantly put my weight on the stair and tested it before slowly ascending to the porch. Cobwebs covered almost every surface I looked. I waved my hand to break some of the strands in my way as I got closer to the door.

“Wow… this place is beautiful!” exclaimed Sarah as she looked up. I turned my gaze upwards to look at the building. The mansion loomed over the surrounding landscape like a brooding titan, its Gothic architecture casting long, ominous shadows that stretched across the desolate grounds. The stone exterior, once pristine and imposing, was now worn and weathered by time, its surface marred by cracks that spiderwebbed across its surface like veins of decay.

“Maybe if it wasn’t so run down. But come on, we need to find Jenna. Who knows what trouble shes got herself into.” I huffed as I turned back to the door and tested the knob. Surprisingly the door swung open with hardly any force, the hinges didn’t even creak as it swung open. I blinked before slowly walking inside. Dust covered every surface in thick layers. The carpet was a dark red color and surprisingly cushy as I stepped on it. To my left was a grand marble staircase that spiraled upwards towards the upper levels of the manor, its ornate banisters were coated in a thick layer of dust and cobwebs. To your right, a series of closed doors line the walls, their surfaces adorned with intricate carvings and ornate embellishments. I gave a whistle as I looked up at the far end of the foyer, a massive chandelier hung suspended from the ceiling, its once-gleaming crystals now dull and lifeless, casting feeble shards of light that flicker and dance across the walls.

“Holy shit… this place is amazing,” I heard Sarah say from behind me. I couldn’t help but nod in agreement. This place seemed to have been ripped right out of a novel or something. I couldn’t help but shudder as another feeling of unease settled deep in my stomach. Something wasn’t right here

“Jenna! Jenna where are you?” I called out to the empty room as I moved further into the manor. I opened the door on my right to what looked like a formal sitting room. The air was thick with the smell of dust and old wood. I squinted my eyes as I pulled my phone out and turned on the flashlight. I moved the beam around the room to get a better look at everything. The first thing I came across was a couch set that was draped in cloth that may have been white at one point. In one corner of the room sat a once grand piano. It to was covered in a layer of dust along with several pieces of sheet music that the ink had long faded on. The floor creaked underneath me as I turned to look at the large fireplace that covered a good portion of the wall. The decorations had long since rusted and the ash settled, a slight cool breeze could be felt from the chimney. I glanced over at Sarah who stood next to me.

“Look.” She said as she reached up above the fire place. I pointed my flashlight up just in time to watch her pull a sheet off of something on the wall. I immediately started sneezing and coughing from the large amount of dust that came down with the sheet. It took a few minutes before I was able to look up through watering eyes at the portrait. It had slightly yellowed with age but the painting was still breathtaking. The subjects were a young couple. One was a man with a hauntingly handsome visage, sharp, chiseled features and piercing blue eyes that seem to glimmer with an otherworldly intensity. His dark hair fell in tousled waves around his angular face, framing his pale complexion like a veil of shadows. He was clad in a tailored suit of deep crimson and midnight black. He stood with an air of aristocratic grace, his very portrait exuding an aura of power and mystery. The woman in the painting was sat in an ornate chair that just screamed wealth. Her features were unremarkable at first glance, with a thin face that was framed by a mane of dark chestnut hair that was pulled back in a complex bun. Her steel-gray eyes held a steely determination, but also betrayed traces of the fear that lurked beneath her stoic facade. She was dressing in Victorian mourning dress and held a black hat in her hand.

“Catherine, she looks like you.” Sarah said as she glanced between me and the portrait.

“W-What? No, you’re insane. This painting is at least a hundred years old, its just some freaky coincidence.” I mumbled as I stood on my tip toes to get a better look at the painting. I barely caught sight of the plaque at the bottom of the frame, “Darkwood… I wonder if that’s their name.” I said to myself. I went to step back when suddenly a loud scream erupted from behind us.

“Jenna!” Sarah yelled back as she took off in the direction of the sound, and I wasn’t far behind her.

[iminthetunnels]

i mean this respectfully! How do you provide for yourself + your son w/ no income? Do you have help? My job keeps us financially comfortable but it is sucking the life out of me ignoring and (what feels like) emotionally neglecting my child for a meaningless office job 40+ hrs/wk. IDK if it's worth it anymore but i am terrified of not being able to provide. TY if you answer ❤️❤️❤️

i really like this question bc i constantly want to speak about it on my blog LMAO

i struggle hard. i get about $240 in child support a month, and if u total everything together, my car, my car insurance, gas, diapers, wipes, food after my food stamps run out, it doesn’t last long and i basically have no savings. while saying all this, before anyone attacks me for being poor and having children despite being poor, i wasn’t poor before domestic violence, and i chose my child over everything. i have always taken care of myself and my family, and now i can’t. many such cases. nothing is ever as black and white.

i will say i but my wipes and diapers from target, with a target account, so i earn money back, and whenever i earn enough back, i pick out small little toys. like he has a gardening set from target and a little car, bought entirely with points from buying diapers.

also, i have amazing friends. a little while ago, when my house flooded, a mutual sent me a large sum of money, with that money i was able to shop secondhand and purchase a lot of 2-4t clothes, meat, and things like oats, fruit i can freeze, and i’m still living off that. i do take advantage of the churches food banks (but i only take whole, real foods, never in cans or packages unless they’re like plain no seed oil raisins) not too long ago, i was able to pick out free clothes from a ministry, so i was able to get clothes that actually fit me:)

i relied on my tax return a lot for extra stuff like getting clothes, more activity sets that i don’t have to makeshift (i don’t mind doing this, like using cardboard for a little hands on activity set) but i have been “randomly selected for screening” by the IRS. LOL many such cases. i haven’t gotten my taxes at all.

basically, i struggle, and some times i get scared bc my car is old. i have amazing friends, lin, rayce, my mom LMFAOOO she’ll buy my child’s milk some times and some snacks that she knows i approve of. most importantly, i pray. and i put lots of faith in god to take care of us. i have a water dispenser, where i fill up water for around $5, three 5 gallon water containers last me around a month or so. i make my own laundry detergent, i have a costco card where i buy bulk toilet paper, use flour sacs as paper towels. i literally just try my best and it always ends up working out. i have debt for sure, like i have my car debt. but i don’t worry too much about it. i’m almost finished paying it off. i should really get into selling my precious moments figurines because i have hundreds.

thank u for such a good question. at the end of the day, i know we go without a LOT of things. but i know that gods earth is totally free, we can walk around the park and run for hours, and that’s our entertainment. i would much rather be with my child than put him in some state funded daycare and work for a dead end job that actually doesn’t care about me. i don’t pay attention to what we don’t have, but rather appreciate what we do have and love my sweet baby with all my being. i just want to be present for him. i don’t know if i’m making sense LOL. i’m sorry. but if i had to be honest, i would say, fuck a job, i’d rather be here with my son. i have been looking at farming positions, and maybe helping someone on their farm in the early mornings, i’d want to bring my child with. and at home positions (as crazy as this sounds) aren’t that much better. constantly in front of a computer would drive me absolutely batshit insane… and would still take time away from my baby. i’m just letting go and letting god. i hope this isn’t too crazy sounding :( i could rly ramble on about this topic!!!

[notsuchasecret]

On Sides of Beef and Dollar Bills For Pan Handlers

When I was a kid, I lived way out in the country in Kansas. My dad got injured at work when I was 6 and was permanently disabled from that point on. My brother left home when I was 8. My mom worked insane hours to make enough money to support us. I did what I could but I was 8, so...

But my neighbors across the street, they raised cattle. In January of 2002 there was what is to this day the second-worst ice storm in recorded Kansas history. Most of the towns were out of power for weeks. Kansas City, just 40 miles to the north of my hometown, was out for weeks. My house, out in the middle of nowhere? It took two months to get the power back. But my neighbors across the street, they raised cattle.

Now, the B family didn’t need anything from us. They had their cattle and Mrs. B had a job in town (iirc she was a teacher) and the older son was already working part time in town and helping with the cattle and Mr. B’s mom lived down the road with her own land and cattle and they were fine. Their cattle were fine. But my family? We weren’t fine. I was too small and my dad too disabled and my mom gone too often to start the generator. With Kansas City shut down and the roads so dangerous, my mom was also out of work for a good chunk of time, and stranded in the city with friends waiting to work again. But the B family? They raised cattle. And they brought us beef.

Mr. B started our generator for us three times a day. I know for a fact that all that fuel was not from our storage shed; that was only enough to last us maybe a week. So they kept our generator running. They augmented our firewood supply. And they brought us beef. All they asked when we tried to pay them back was use of one of our smaller pastures come spring, so they could mow it and use the hay. Because my neighbors across the street, they raised cattle. We survived that winter because of those gifts.

Looking back, they probably didn’t have a ton to give. They weren’t rich. Small-time farmers, ranchers, and the like, they don’t have a lot and they get fucked over by the big names on the regular. Mrs. B was a teacher. But my family had a need. And my neighbors across the street, they raised cattle.

So nowadays, I’m often strapped for cash, but sometimes I’m not. On the days when I’m not and I see a woman crying at the gas pump? Or I see a pan handler and I have a spare water bottle, or a few dollars, or we’re right by a fast food joint? I try and help. And on the days when I am strapped, I give them what I can, a sincere wish for better days, and then I give others what I can. See, I don’t have a lot of money, but what I do have is a listening ear, and a skill with words. I’m an artist, through and through. And that’s really what it comes down to: helping people with what you have.

See, my neighbors across the street, they raised cattle.

I don’t raise cattle. I write, instead. Sometimes it amounts to the same. I don’t have a lot of money and I can’t often help with life necessities like food or shelter. I do when I can, but often I can’t. So instead, I use what I have: I use my art. I can’t often pay your bill for you, but I can write a story that makes you forget about that bill and its stress for a while. Or I can write a poem that makes you remember that other people have past-due bills too, and isn’t it nice to know you’re not as alone as they want you to feel?

Some days I feel like I don’t contribute much to the world. I don’t go out and change policies, I don’t save babies from burning buildings. I work in retail. But then I remember the storm in 2002. And I remember that I would be dead if it weren’t for the kindness of neighbors who we barely ever spoke to. And I remember all the other times a smile or a song or a friendly conversation got me through the day.

I write. My neighbors across the street, they raised cattle. Everyone has something. Someday I hope that I can give someone what they need, the same way the B family did. And sometimes I think that maybe I already have, and maybe I have and I have and I have and I will again tomorrow.

[mushroomwillow]

Idk the fact that it’s cheaper to buy a large order of chicken tenders for our family than to buy the ingredients to make it at home is kinda… idk sad. I just remember being super excited when I was a kid that we got to eat out because it was a special treat. Except for like, McDonalds or Taco Bell. I could scrounge up $10 in quarters and me and half my friend group would have too much food.

But now McDonald’s is too expensive. I can order 25 decently large chicken tenders for $35 at a place that would have been too expensive as a kid for my family. And that’ll last us the week. If I bought the ingredients to make that at home now it’d easily cost $50 or more.

And has anyone noticed that store bought food goes bad faster? Or am I imagining it?

But McDonald’s got expensive af? So did Taco Bell? I feel weirdly old and I’m angry that I can barely afford food now while working full time making $18hr while my fiance makes $19.32 and just rent and our cars take up almost all our paychecks. Nevermind daycare and utilities, which we had to lie to get assistance with daycare because the limit on income says we should somehow be able to afford $956 a month just for childcare.

Lamenting about how $8 an hour was insane as a teen because it meant I could afford my own phone and stay with friends working part time and still have enough to have fun. Now if it wasn’t for my in-laws paying for us to be on their phone line we couldn’t have phones.

Kind of get gen x and boomers on that one. And painfully aware and angry that we grasp that we can’t afford trips and heaven forbid missing work because my daughter needed stitches when falling at daycare. And they don’t.

Obviously I took that time off. I take off when we’re sick but only if we have a high fever, because I just cannot afford to miss work. Gas prices are going up so high that my coworkers and I are talking about carpooling over the summer, which means we have to change our availability at work.

Getting Easter stuff for my daughter cut into our grocery money. I want to cry and yell and scream because I can’t afford to miss work to go to the dr, and I can’t afford the copays anyway. My meds cost so much money I’m considering asking my dr to take me off anything that is not absolutely necessary.

Like my heart meds. Can I keep ahold of my anxiety enough to be off those meds to. How important is it that I buy the supplements because my body isn’t retaining enough to stay alive.

And like, what if my daughter gets hurt again. What if she gets sick. She’s on her dads insurance because mine is terrible. But there’s no drs out here that accept his that have any availability.

Goodwill is too expensive. Buying healthy food is too expensive. My daughter is hitting a growth spurt and I can’t afford to buy her new clothes or shoes. Can’t afford my meds. We can’t run the heat on cold nights or the ac on hot days without worrying we can’t afford the bills. My dr wants to do a sleep study because I can’t stay asleep, my nightmares are so bad that I wake up panicking but I can’t afford the sleep study. I can’t afford to miss work. Missing a week of work in November for my wedding scares the shit out of me. Idk if I’ll be able to afford to go to my daughter’s birthday because she’ll be across the country with her dad. I’m in credit card debt. Idk if I’ll ever get out of debt. I have bill collectors calling every day. I’ll be working until I either can’t walk anymore or till I die.

Idk why tf I’m going to school when even my therapist, who I can’t afford to see, says she’s struggling to pay her bills too. And she has a masters.

[theunquenchablethirst]

Hooked (Jerome X Reader)

Ok, so this is a thing. I was kinda surprised nobody had used this scene yet, because the Gotham fandom seem to collectively agree that Jerome is BIG KINKY and yet the one scene where he canonically has people cuffed up and hung from the ceiling... nobody has touched??? Y'all have been sleeping on that scene! It's fanfic gold! Anyway, enjoy the hedonism. Much love xxx

Warning: SMUT, 18+, GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT, BDSM, bondage, cuffs, dom/sub, vaginal fingering, oral sex, biting, spanking, slapping, pussy slapping, light choking, spitting, belt whipping, praise/degradation, marking, mention of scratching, Jerome is big meanie pants mean man

The new mayor of Gotham is having a meeting with his council members, but things take a turn when the Legion of Horribles show up to kidnap them and reader. When the victims are being unloaded from the truck, Jerome Valeska notices reader, because she isn't exactly on the guest list.

Tag list of lovelies: @gabile18 @valeskaduh @fangirl--writes @persephoneblck

Masterlist

I had been working as a housekeeper for the new mayor. It was a good job, but I wasn't appreciated. I was just there to clean and serve when needed. I don't think he even knew my name. I was just hired help to him. To all of them.

He was hosting a dinner for his council that day. I had been placed in the corner of the room with a bottle of expensive wine where I was to wait until wanted. He gestured for me to come forwards and fill their glasses while they started talking about their displeasure with the rising foul play in the city, like it was anything new for Gotham. The chairwoman wanted to know what he was going to do about it. Very little in my opinion. He was just coasting. In too deep over his head. He had been appointed far too fast and everyone knew it. He wasn't going to last.

He made an attempt to save face and talk about how he too was disturbed by the recent goings on and was doing everything he could. Trash, utter trash. As he rose from his seat, the lights fizzled out. I stopped pouring. Had this been any other city I would have assumed it was a simple power outage, but nothing was that simple in Gotham. The security guard closed us in and went to see what was happening. The air turned icy. No, this was not good. Gunshots and screams came from the hallway and everyone rose from the table terrified. We quickly started walking towards a door hoping to make an escape, but there was something about the windows. They were freezing over.

The doors burst open and I dropped the wine. It smashed into pieces as a blueish man in some kind of robotic suit and a weird looking, but huge gun stepped into the room. Was that Victor Fries? Then through the second set of doors another man in a top hat who I recognised as Jervis Tetch burst in with some other strange looking friends.

Before I could comprehend the situation, we were all being cuffed and taken outside. Our kidnappers pushed and pulled us towards a huge truck, all the while the mayor tried to buy his way free. He was showing just how little he really knew about the underbelly of Gotham. I knew just by looking at them that they were probably Arkham escapees and couldn't be bought like a sane man could. They had their own plans and you can't bargain with crazies.

We got to the truck and they opened the back door. My blood ran cold when I saw that standing there waiting for us was Jerome Valeska. Of all the criminals Gotham had seen he had been the only one that had scared me, truly and thoroughly. He didn't have any kind of reason for what he did. He just enjoyed death and chaos. And after his last escapade he looked like madness personified, his scars circling his face and eyes and giving him a permanent evil smile. Dread consumed me as I realized that he was no doubt the leader of this operation and if that was true, we were already dead.

I felt myself jolted forwards. The mayor had pushed me in front of the rest of the council to get whatever was coming first. If I wasn't cuffed, I would have turned around and broke his nose. I was lifted into the truck, my hands were pulled above my head and fixed to two hooks. I had to stand on my toes to keep standing which made it awkward and difficult as they pushed me to the back of the truck.

Was that Penguin? What was he doing here? He didn't belong here. I had gone to Penguin looking for a job in his club when I was 16. He was impressed with my audition, but when he asked my age, he rejected me.

"This establishment is not a playground for children. It's a nightclub." He had told me. At the time I had been steaming mad, but in hindsight he was probably right. Even if he was rude. So, after that, I found it hard to understand why he was here and working with Valeska. Maybe he had been kidnapped too?

The rest of the council were loaded on and hooked. The mayor was still trying to offer them money and pardons. When he saw it wasn't working, he resorted to empty, unintimidating threats. Jerome was completely unfazed and even a little disappointed in the lack of smiles.

"Nobody knows how to have fun anymore, right?" He said putting his arm around Penguin. So, he was a part of this.

Jerome pointed to a scary looking figure dressed like a scarecrow. Johnathan Crane? Crane released some kind of purple gas in the face of a member of a council. She started laughing and convulsing violently.

"What have you got to lose? Except your sanity?" Jerome joined in the crazy laughter. So, this was his plan. He'd figured out a way to forcefully drive everyone insane. With a gas.

I silently prayed to God in my mind for any kind of help.

After sufficiently terrifying us half to death, they left us in the back of truck. None of us could say anything and after a few minutes the truck started moving.

"Is she ok?" I asked looking towards the victim of the insanity gas.

"Who cares?! We have to figure out what they want and get out of here." Replied the mayor.

"Maybe they want publicity for whatever that gas is. Offer them some TV time." Guessed the chairwoman.

"Don't you get it?! This isn't a situation you can buy your way out of!" I snapped, frustrated with their idiocy.

"These aren't normal criminals. They don't want your money. They want chaos and madness." They stood there silently stunned. They had never heard me speak with such confidence, but in that moment, they knew I was right.

After what felt like hours the truck finally stopped.

"What's going on?" The mayor whispered.

Everything was quiet. We listened for any noise or sign of life. All we could hear was our own breath.

Then suddenly the doors flung open once again and in hopped Valeska, Tetch and Crane.

"We're here!" Jerome grinned.

The other two started to pull the council one by one off the hooks and walk them out of the truck, closely watched by Jerome. Until they got to me.

"Wait..." He stuck an arm out to stop Tetch from unhooking me.

"Who's she? She wasn't on the party list." He took a few steps closer to me.

"This poor young girl is an unlucky maid. Wrong place, wrong time. Very bad day." Jervis explained looking at me.

"Would you like me to... dispose of her?" Asked Crane, stalking close to me and lifting needle covered fingers to my throat.

"Not so fast, Mr Potato Head." Jerome said pulling him away from me.

He came so close that we were only inches apart. He looked down at me as if he was thinking for a few seconds then smirked and turned around to the others.

"Guys, go and see that our guests are comfortable, will ya? Get everything ready." He ushered them out of the truck. Fear travelled up and down my body. This had all been a bad situation, but being alone with Valeska scared the hell out of me.

"You're lucky I have a soft spot for pretty little girls." He closed the truck doors and turned to look at me.

"Freddy Krueger there... not so much." He relaxed, leaning back against the doors with his hands in his pockets. "You got a name?"

I stayed silent, more out of fear than defiance. He sucked his teeth and stood up straight.

"I get it. You're scared. Who wouldn't be, right?" He started slowly walking closer. "But things will go a lot smoother if you just play nice."

I still couldn't find any words.

"Aw, come on, doll! I'm getting awful lonely over here." He brought his hands up out of his pockets and leaned against a wall of the truck.

He was quiet for a few seconds and I noticed that his eyes were making their way up my legs. Being held up by my wrists on my tip toes had pulled my uniform skirt up and almost all of my thighs were exposed. I blurted out my name in an attempt to distract him from my bare legs. He smiled.

"What a pretty name. Now, was that so hard?" He pushed himself off the wall and came a little closer.

"So, you're the mayor's dust bunny, huh? I gotta say, doll, I can see why he keeps you around." He chuckled, eyeing me.

My whole body flushed and my face turned hot and red.

“But, uh, the thing about mayors in this town, they don’t last very long.”

"Please let me go." I whimpered.

"Oh, but we're having such a good time! Plus, if I did that, you'd scamper off to the GCPD and I can't have good ol' Gordon crashing the party early."

I scoffed at his suggestion. Not likely. I had a distinct distaste for the GCPD. They hadn't helped me when I needed them. I would never need them again.

"What's the matter? He book ya before or something?" Jerome smiled with intrigue.

"My parents... they... did things to us. When I ended up in the hospital one too many times..." Tears stung my eyes as I remembered. "They left me there and disappeared with my little brother. No one ever managed to track them down."

I didn’t fully understand why I was opening up to Jerome, but for a second, I saw a spark of humanity in his eyes. Like he understood my pain. I'd heard his first kill had been his mother, so maybe he did?

"I'd give anything to see him again." I sniffed and a tear rolled down my cheek.

"Yeah, I had shitty parents too." He sighed. "I killed them both."

I had thought about what I would do if I ever saw my parents again. What I would say, what I would ask. I could never think of the right words. But the thought of killing them, well that made me smile.

"What was it like?" I asked.

Jerome grinned from ear to ear and stepped closer so that we were toe to toe.

“Have you ever stood at the edge of a really tall building? You know that little voice in the back of your head that says ‘Jump! You can fly!’ even though every other part of you is screaming ‘No you can’t! You’re gonna kill us!’”

I nodded shakily.

“It’s like finally giving in to that voice. Like jumping off Gotham Bridge and finding out you can fly. And realising you never have to walk again.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and my heart felt like it was going a million beats per minute. His eyes were locked on mine and it felt like he was looking straight into my soul.

“You wanna fly, doll?” He brought his hand up to cup my jaw and ran his thumb along my bottom lip.

It wasn’t humanity I saw in Jerome Valeskas eyes. It was freedom. A freedom that I had wanted for as long as I could remember. And I could have it right now. He was offering it to me. The only thing standing in my way was myself.

“Yes.” I breathed. “Yes, I do.”

The next thing I knew, his lips were crashing into mine and he had hooked his hands under my thighs and was holding them around his waist. His kiss was desperate and hungry, like he had been starved for days and his grip on the bare flesh of my thighs was rough enough to leave bruises. I locked my ankles together behind him to steady myself from swaying underneath the cuffs. When I did, he drove his crotch forwards, grinding into my centre, a quiet moan escaping me as I felt him.

He slowly trailed a hand from my thigh, up my back and to the nape of my neck, before balling my hair in his fist. I gasped as I felt the sudden, sharp tug of him pulling my head back.

His eyes wandered down to settle on my exposed throat, before yanking my head to the side and nestling in the crook of my neck. He must’ve left a hundred open mouth kisses, but as he started to suck, I felt his teeth sink into my skin. I pulled back with a hiss at the sting, but he wouldn’t let go. He just kept on leaving harsh, red bitemarks and pulling my hair, all the time grinding harder into me.

He licked over the bruises he’d left and gently kissed them, before trailing his tongue up my neck to nip at my ear. He smiled darkly and pulled back away from me, dropping my legs back to the floor. He stalked around me, eyeing me up and down like a predator. I felt him behind me, his hands softly holding onto my waist, pulling me close to his chest.

“You know what’s great about this?” He cooed. “You’re already pre-cuffed.”

I flushed and my core swelled hot, his breath so close to me made my skin tingle all over. He pulled at the top of my skirt and dragged it down my hips, letting it fall down around my feet. He caressed my thighs and then stepped back, tugging at my underwear, playfully letting the elastic snap back to me.

“Y’know...” He said, before the familiar sound of a belt unbuckling. “Marquis de Sade said ‘sex without pain is like food without taste’...”

My eyes widened at his words and my heartbeat quickened.

“So, let’s make this... delicious.”

A million thoughts raced through my mind, but before I could process any, I felt the sharp snap of leather against my ass. I jolted forwards and let out a high pitch yelp.

Even though I couldn’t see him, I could tell he was smirking. I could hear it in his voice. I bit my lip in an attempt to brace myself and he landed the belt across me again.

“Please, Jerome...” I whimpered at the sting, closing my eyes.

He brought it down again, making me arch my back in a gasp. A couple of tears rolled down my cheeks and I realised there was little point in resisting the torment. So, I gritted my teeth and prepared for another lick of the belt.

He whipped me once more, harder this time and a small scream escaped me.

“Please!” I begged.

I heard him chuckle with dark delight. The bastard was enjoying this. Of course he was. What else had I expected from someone like him? I tightened all my muscles for the next sting...

But it didn’t come. Instead, I felt him pulling my underwear down. Relief washed over me when I heard the belt drop to the floor and I realised Jerome was finished and was now crouched, ready to inspect his work. He ran his fingers over my burning flesh, taking in the bright red lashes he had left on me.

“What a pretty picture?” He said, landing a spank. “I wish you could see too doll, but having you cuffed is half the fun.”

His voice was dripping with venom and arousal and I could practically feel his grin in the air. He traced the marks with his fingers a little longer, before grabbing my flesh in fistfuls and sinking his teeth in. I gasped loudly at the hard bite. I wasn’t sure how many more of Jerome's surprises I could take. He laughed and ran his tongue over the new bruise.

“Yep. Definitely a pretty picture.” He smiled, giving me another spank. “I like those little noises you make, doll. Why don’t you make some more for me?”

He snaked his hand up my inner thigh and began stroking along my slit, relighting the fire in my stomach. I moaned, biting hard on my lip and tried to bring my thighs together, wanting friction.

“Naughty.” He said, landing a swift slap on my entrance causing me to let out a little yelp. “I need you to keep those legs open for me.”

It wasn’t as bad as the belt. In fact, it felt quite good. The heat inside me swelled as Jerome returned to running his fingers back and forth in my slickness. I hummed softly in my throat, fighting the urge to close my thighs again, my knees starting to shudder underneath me.

“Look how wet you are and I’m barely touching you.” Jerome chuckled darkly. “I wonder what happens if I do this?”

Jerome plunged two fingers deep inside me and slowly started pumping them. I let the warmth roll through me, moaning blissfully. He gently started to pick up speed, making it nearly impossible for me to keep my thighs apart. The faster he got, the deeper he dove, making me tighten around his talented fingers and struggle to keep steady on my toes.

My legs were shaking and despite my best efforts I just had to squeeze them together. As soon as I did, Jerome removed his fingers from me, leaving me feeling empty and spanked me hard.

“What did I say about that?” He barked, laying down another spank.

His spanking felt different this time. It felt pleasurable and sent a thrill up my spine.

“Sorry.” I whimpered.

“Sorry for what?” He spanked me again. “For being a needy little whore? Hm?” Another spank.

“Yes!” I gasped. “I’m a needy little whore! I just...”

“What? You just what?”

Jerome landed another slap at my core. It made my muscles clench, but it also aroused me so much more in a way I’d never thought I’d experience.

“What? What do you want, whore?”

“Please...”

“Big words, princess. What...” Spank. “Do you...” Another spank. “Want?”

“I want... I want you...” I forced, breathlessly.

“You want me? What do you want me to do, princess?” Jerome teased, tracing a finger along my burning entrance, just barely touching me.

“Please... Make me feel good, Jerome... Make me cum.”

“Are you gonna be a good girl?”

“Yes...”

“Are you gonna do as I say?”

“Yes, I will.”

“Exactly as I say?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Just please...Jerome.”

I couldn’t take it any longer. I felt so pathetic and needy. I needed him to touch me.

“So desperate.” He giggled sadistically. I supposed he loved seeing me beg.

Then, finally, he spread me open and dove his tongue deep into my wanting warmth. I closed my eyes and bit down hard on my lip as he swirled his tongue around inside me. I wanted to grab his hair and feel it in my fingers, but all I could do was squeeze my fists together in empty frustration.

Jerome grabbed a hand full of my ass, gripping it tightly, digging his nails in and rose his other hand to my pelvis front, pulling me down further onto his tongue. I squealed, a delightful mixture of pleasure and also pain from the tugging on my aching forearms. He ran his front hand down to play with my swollen clit, circling his fingers around beautifully.

He grinded his face deeply into me, sliding his tongue up, down, around and around inside me. He pressed his fingers down harder on my clit, forcing a loud moan out of me. I felt the pressure inside me build, coiling and tightening like a burning spring. I squeezed my thighs around his head in a desperate attempt to pull him deeper, his tongue nestling inside finding all of my sweet spots and lighting them on fire.

I could feel myself ready, ready to burst. He was pulling an amazing orgasm out of me and I wanted nothing more than to just let it go. All it took was one more upward jolt of his head, pushing his tongue that last little bit deep enough to push me over. I screamed out in erotic pleasure, letting the feeling flood me like warm water. My back arched and my legs convulsed until I withered, letting myself dangle from my cuffs in a breathless defeat.

Jerome slid his tongue out of me and pulled his face back away.

“You sing so pretty, dollface. Like a little birdie.” He said, squeezing the flesh off my ass.

He gave me one more light bite and a spank, before he rose back up to stand, snaking his hands along my sides all the way. He let his hands wander up to cup my breasts, massaging them softly. He leaned in close and began leaving wet kisses in the crook of my neck. I shuddered, his touch sending a cool tingle down my spine. He let his hands squeeze my breasts slightly harder, then pulled away and crept back around in front of me.

He stood facing me, his eyes locked on mine. They seemed to burn holes right into my flesh, creating a sense of fear in me. I was scared of Jerome Valeska, I truly was. But everything he was doing to me right now... The way he touched me, kissed me. I wondered how he managed it. How he was able to both terrify and arouse me in equal amounts.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t register his hand rising until it was firmly wrapped around my throat. He leaned down to kiss me, dominating my mouth with his tongue, making me taste myself. Once again, I felt the familiar warmth build in my core as I sensed we were not quite done here. He finished the kiss with a little nip to my bottom lip.

“Are you scared of me, doll?” He purred.

I swallowed hard, unsure if truth was wise here. Then I felt him increase the pressure around my throat, not wanting to wait for an answer.

“Yes.” I breathed.

“Good.” He said through an evil smirk.

He crashed his lips to mine once again, his free hand picking up my thigh to wrap around him. I locked both my legs around his waist, wanting to feel him close against me. I felt his erection hard, under his clothes, grinding into me and I wanted it. Badly. He pulled away from the kiss, leaving his taste on my tongue and raised his hand from my throat to grab hold of my face. He took his other hand away from my thigh and pulled at his tie. I didn’t drop my legs this time, instead I gripped tighter as he slid his tie from around his neck and scrunched it in his fist.

“Open your mouth.” He ordered.

I did as he said and he smiled, before spitting into my open lips and gagging me with his tie. I’d never had anyone do that before and it shocked me a little, but then again, I’d never had anyone like Jerome Valeska before.

He backed up slightly, just enough for him to reach down and unzip his trousers and pull down his underwear, freeing his erection. I couldn’t help but look down at it. It was bigger than any I’d taken before and I wasn’t sure how prepared I was. He started to slowly stroke himself, lifting up my chin to look at me.

He gently stroked a single finger across my jaw and then, suddenly, landed a harsh slap across my cheek. I yelped at the slap, causing a dangerous smile to form on Jeromes mouth. I should’ve been repulsed by him. He killed people and was aroused by my pain and fear, so why was I so attracted to him?

He angled himself underneath me so he was lined up and ready. He wrapped his hand back around my throat and then pushed forwards into me, causing us both to let out deep moans.

“You like that?”

I nodded and whimpered through the material of the tie. Jerome giggled darkly and with his free hand, gripped onto my waist.

“Brace yourself, princess.” He warned, through a poisonous smile.

He pulled back slowly, until he was almost completely out of me and then, like a bullet, ploughed himself right back in, jolting me backwards with force. He continued his thrusting rough and fast, making me whimper and bite down hard on the tie. I closed my legs tightly around him, pulling him closer and forcing him in deeper.

He let out a low, guttural groan and moved his hand upwards from my waist to slap me again, spitting at my face as he did so. I closed my eyes to endure the onslaught of him pounding inside me like a raging animal. I felt like a toy, dangling there for him to use as he liked, but still the searing pleasure of it all made me moan lustfully.

“Open those peepers, princess.” He commanded. “I want you to see exactly who’s in charge here.”

I opened my eyes and saw him grinning at me like a man possessed.

“You like this? You like me fucking you?” He growled, gripping my throat tighter.

All I could do was whimper and moan in response.

“I cuffed you and hung you up, hurt you, spat on you... even made you cry! And you still let me fuck you?” He laughed through shallow breaths. “You’re pathetic, you know that? A pathetic little whore.”

Jerome threw another slap at me and I felt myself tighten around his considerable length, taking him all deep inside me. He drove up into me like he was trying to break me open with his girth and I welcomed every inch of it.

“You’re so fucking tight.” He moaned.

I clenched my walls around him, the feeling of being filled by him sending flutters through me as he pushed in deeper and laughed.

“I don’t think your pussy ever wants to let me go, doll!” He grinned. “But I already know you like taking my cock like this, cause you’re such a good girl for me... I like that.”

I flushed at his words. I didn’t know why, but it made me feel good to please him and, in that moment, I would have done anything for him. I could feel my ecstasy creeping up on me, like magma rising inside a volcano. I cried out wantonly, the heat rising as he worked me, exploring every detail of my canal with his thick shaft.

He let go of my throat and moved both his hands to grab onto my ass and squeezed, steadying me so he could pound me harder and climb to release. His thrusts became erratic and sloppy and I could tell he was just as close as I was. I moaned loudly as he rammed into me harder and faster, burying himself deeper and making my arousal burn.

I could feel it coming, so close. I was about to boil over and all I needed was him. Just him. He continued thrusting like a raging animal, digging his nails into my flesh and scraping them along my ass, stinging sweetly. I whimpered at the sensation and tightened my legs.

“Cum for me, doll.” He panted. “I wanna feel you cum on my cock.”

He plunged into me, pushing the magma higher and just so close to bursting. It was coming. I could feel it.

He pounded again. So close. Again and again, so hard inside me. Just a little more...

I screamed out, closing my eyes and letting everything go. The feeling of my orgasm washed over me like a tidal wave of pure elation. My whole body shook from the force of it and I trembled like a leaf. Jerome continued to thrust into me until he too reached his climax. He growled like a beast and I felt him throb, releasing his hot load of sticky lust deep inside me.

We both relaxed, catching our breath and he stared down into my eyes. He unlatched his hands from the flesh of my ass and brought one round to gently stroke my cheek with his fingertips. It was quiet, but only for a minute.

He threw his head back and laughed like the madman he was, before pulling out of me and stepping back. My legs dropped to the floor and he began to put himself away and zip his trousers back up.

“Well, that was fantastic, dollface. Thanks for playing nice with me.” He said, throwing me a wink.

There was a loud metallic knock at the truck doors and I guessed whoever it was, was trying to get Jeromes attention.

“It’s been fun princess, really. But time waits for no man and I’ve got a party to attend” He said, smiling at me. “Well, more like crash.”

When he turned to leave, I tried to speak, but all that came out was intelligible muttering. He wasn’t going to leave me here, dangling, half naked and gagged like this? Was he? He began walking to the truck doors and I tried to call out.

“Oh! Wait, almost forgot.”

I felt a flood of relief when he began walking back to me.

“I’m gonna need this back.” He said and pulled the tie out of my mouth.

I was glad to finally be rid of it, but my joy was short lived, because he was starting to leave again.

“Hey...” I croaked; my mouth dry.

“Yeah, I’ll have someone come get you later.” He said, too nonchalantly for my liking. “For now, you can just... well, why don’t you just hang out?”

He laughed at his joke and opened the doors.

“Hey! You can’t leave me here!” I tried to shout, but my throat was too dry.

And then... he was gone. He really did just leave me alone, half naked in the back of a truck. How long would it be before someone found me? An hour? Two? The rest of the day?

All alone with my thoughts now, I decided the only thing to do now was wait. Wait and try and go over what the hell just happened between me and Jerome Valeska.

[wolvekt]

MOVING OUT - EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS ** ALL RESIDENT EVIL COMMISSIONS WILL HAVE A $5 DISCOUNT** so. my dad died last week and legit the day before he died he co-signed an apartment for me. and my move-in date is july 29th, except my dad was going to help me with the initial move-in costs (first month’s rent + deposit + whatever other bs fees that there are) which all together add up to be around $1800. while i do have a job atm, I am in a really tight spot with the cost of the commute (puts me down $200 a week in gas) and do not currently have any money in savings, due to having to spend it all for medical/psychiatric costs as I lost my insurance waiting for my job to approve my accommodations for months. I hate having to give my whole life story on the internet, but basically, I have been in inpatient from december 28th - january 20th, and instantly went into rehab from january 21st - april 21st. I am still adjusting to regular life and due to long-term disability payments falling through and my insane wait to get back to work (only just got back to working 2 weeks ago) I am struggling really bad with money. my girlfriend is unable to help due to currently being in treatment. my dad was helping me but now I don’t have his help anymore. I have never had this bad of anxiety over financial stuff before, but I keep getting so anxious that I nearly vomit, which isn’t helping the work situation, since my mental health issues are pretty severe and i need to leave work early on several days. I am currently living in an unsafe environment and without my dad alive, if I do not get into this apartment not only would my girlfriend have to move back out of state, I would not be able to get approved for another apartment any time soon at all.  I am opening commissions in hopes of getting at least some of the money by the end of the month so i don’t lose this apartment. if you cannot commission me, i would be eternally grateful for any “coffees”, or any donations at all. Literally any little bit helps. even just sharing this post helps.  commission terms of service + extra information here my cashapp is $wolvekt you can see a gallery of my work on ko-fi here link to my twitter thread

[dirty-brainrot]

(McDonalds)

From this post! "Oi Koichi! You're a pretty reliable guy!"

The small boy looks at you and Okuyasu, tilting his head in confusion but he smiles anyway. "You can drive us to Mcdonalds!" Okuyasu beamed and you nodded. "Uhm guys... I'm too short to reach the gas pedal and underaged to drive..." The beaming faces of you and Okuyasu's shifted to an immediate frown.

"Wait— won't your uncle scold you, Y/N?" Yeah, your Uncle Tonio would scold you for eating too much fast food... But!

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him." You gave him a cheeky smile. Koichi sighs in disappointment and shook his head. "Oh, hey guys!" Walking out of the school gate, Josuke greets everyone. His pompadour bouncing ever so slightly with each step he took. "So, what's up?" You lean on a wall while Okuyasu explains the situation.

"Me and Y/N wanted to go grab some McDonalds but the nearest one is very far and we don't have enough money to hitch a cab." Okuyasu crosses his arms and pouts. "What if we call Mr. Jotaro?" Josuke offers the idea and you gasp. "Brilliant idea! Go call Mr. Jotaro now!" The 4 of you jog to a nearby payphone and watch Josuke dial Jotaro.

You and Okuyasu watch him intensely. Looking at his mouth, you try to guess what he’s saying but the ones in your head doesn’t make sense. After a while, Josuke hangs up and gloomily walks out of the booth. "He's busy researching sea life on the beach...." Back to the sad faces, it is. Defeated, you all sighed dejectedly. Then the 4 of you kept quiet, brainstorming ways to find someone to drive you through a McDonalds.

While thinking on the sidewalk, a stranger passes by and brushes their hand against yours. (It was an accident but it felt intentional.) You immediately got goosebumps after the contact. You look at the man and he notices you, apologizing quietly. You watch him walk away, into his work probably.

How strange...

"Oh wait!—" Koichi's voice snapped your attention back to them. ‘Right...back to McDonalds...’ All of you look at him and he continued. "What if we ask Mr. Rohan—" Josuke looks at him with a bewildered expression and laughs as if he were insane. "There's no way he'll drive us to McDonalds." You hum and tap your chin. "I dunno, maybe he'll agree? We won't know until we try." You respond to him and he looks at you with a deadpanned expression. "Are you—are you all actually serious?" You and Koichi nodded while Okuyasu shrugged and replied. "I just want McDonalds man."

After a while, Josuke agreed. And so, the four of you trekked to Rohan's home, which he never leaves unless there was something important outside of his home.

In front of Rohan's abode, Josuke looks at you hoping for you and Koichi to change your minds but it wasn't happening soon. You knocked on the door but before your knuckles could hit the door, the door creaked opened slightly. A hand shot out and grabbed your wrist, making you squeak and step back. "Rohan— Holy shit— You need to stop doing that!" Rohan lets go of your wrist and fully opens the door. "You make a good reference for expressions." He responds and notices Josuke. Josuke tenses up while Rohan gives him with a scowl. "What do you want?" He says with venom. Josuke laughed awkwardly and shuffles back. "Rohan-sensei, we need you to drive us to Mcdonalds!" His scowl disappears and looks at you and Okuyasu.

...

"Ahahahahah!" He laughs, putting arms around his stomach he kept on laughing. You and Okuyasu looked at each other and awkwardly joined, soon after Koichi joins in. The three of you laughed while Josuke watched everyone in confusion.

"No." You all stop abruptly and Rohan retreats back to his home, slamming the door. Furrowing your brows, you knock. (This time he didn’t grab your wrist) "I'm not gonna take a no for an answer Mr. Kishibe!" Josuke grabs your shoulder and shook his head. "He said n—" You cut him off. "Oh! but what about that deal we made, Mr. Kishibe?~" And swiftly, the door opened. If it wasn't for Josuke pulling you back, you would've been hit by the door. "Shut— You said you weren't going to speak about it." Now you've got him! You smirked. "Oh, Mr. Kishibe what are you talking about?" You tilt your head and flutter your eyebrows as if you were innocent.

The three boys watch the scene in front of them, with no idea as to what was going on. "Oh! Y/N don't tell me you banged the mangaka!?" Okuyasu shouts and shakes you. You flinched at his loud voice and shook your head. "I didn't bang him I— mmfhmfph." Rohan covers your mouth. "Fine! I'll drive." Noticing that he hasn't let go, you lick his hand. He pushes you and pulls his hand back then looks at you with disgust. "Let's go to McDonalds!" You cheered.

★

"Can I get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh—" Rohan grips the steering wheel tightly, so tight that it made his knuckles white.

And there you sat on the passenger seat and the three duwang brothers were at the back deciding what to get. "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh—"

"Um,"

"I'm not finished. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh—" Unable to handle it anymore, Rohan answers instead. "I'll take everything on the menu." Everyone shut up and stares at Rohan. "Are—are you sure, sir?" A female voice came from the intercom. His grip on the steering wheel loosened as he replied. "Yes." You look at the mirror to check on the trio and they looked as confused as you are. He drove further into the drive-thru.

"Uh... Rohan?" You whisper, not wanting the mangaka to throttle you. "What?" He snarls. You fiddled with your fingers nervously. "ᵂᵉ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵉⁿᵒᵘᵍʰ ᵐᵒⁿᵉʸ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ʷʰᵒˡᵉ ᵐᵉⁿᵘ..." With each word, your voice slowly becomes silent. Rohan groans and massages his temples. "I'll pay, just shut up. All of you just shut up." You immediately shut up after that and shot glances to your friends in the back. Okuyasu and Josuke made a quiet celebration and Koichi shrugged at you and mouthed "Free food."

It took half an hour but the employees finally gave you the food. Your mouth watered at the ungodly amount of unhealthy food. Looking back at Josuke and Okuyasu, their mouth were also watering.

"Nobody eats until we arrive home," Rohan ordered and you all responded at the same time. "Hai!" Okuyasu and Josuke snuck some fries on their mouth and grinned at you.

Well, look at that! It seems like luck is on you and your friends' side today! You just hope Tonio won't found out about this.

☆☆☆alt☆☆☆

Your job was pretty stressful and boring. A McDonald drive-thru work isn't ideal at all but at the very least, you get money.

You wished you could hang out with your friends this weekend but it's just not happening. You sighed, cupping your cheeks, you look out of the window. What could they be doing today? Josuke probably invited Okuyasu and Koichi to play games or they could be at Tonio's restaurant, eating lunch.

Another car arrived but this time instead of a stranger, the driver was a very annoyed Rohan with Koichi beside him. He waves at you and smiles.

"Oi Y/N!"

"Yo Y/N!"

You gasp hearing the two knuckleheads in the backseat. Grinning, you greet them back. "Hi, guys!" They peeked their heads outside the window. "Damn... Working in a drive-thru looks so boring!" You chuckles and shook your head. "It is but they give money."

A co-worker of yours hands you the bag of food. Josuke and Okuyasu grabs the bags and hands you the money. Before Rohan could drive, Okuyasu stops him. "Come with us!" You look at him dumbfounded. "What?" He gestures to the car. "Your job is boring, come with us!" You looked back at your employees to see that no one is in the room. Grinning, you nodded and threw away your apron and hat.

Going through the window, you could hear Rohan's protest but it was too late. You are already in the car. "So where we going, boys?" They all cheered while Rohan grumbles. "Great, another brat to take care of."

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Right now there is more money in my bank account than usually passes through it in a year, and I can’t spend a penny of it.

It isn’t mine. Don’t worry, it’s nothing shady. My brother needs me to pay a county tax bill for Mom in person, for complicated reasons.** The money will only be there 24hrs, since I will head to the court house before then.

It’s insane though. I am so broke personally that the only reason I will have any groceries this month is because of someone’s kindness.

Thousands and thousands of dollars in my bank account and I can’t get the pickup repaired or buy a new cable to charge my ipad or replace these boots now that the seam that supports my ankles has ripped***. I’m even rationing paper towels, for crying out loud!

Yet tomorrow I am going to be writing the largest check I have ever written in my life.

It feels so weird. And depressing TBH. All that money is sort of mocking me, like “Yeah, some people have this kind of money…they can casually transfer over to your bank account, but YOU better not buy a replacement for your broken earbuds at Dollar Tree ‘cause you may need that buck for gas or something else important.”

Poverty isn’t just the things you can’t afford to fix or replace or do, it’s being reminded that for lots of people these are things they never even have to think about. I HATE thinking about money all the damn time just so I can survive!

And yet, when I write that check tomorrow, anyone watching will assume I am one of those that don’t need to worry all the time. Little do they know I’m a “every tiny choice has a sacrifice” person.****

**Reasons involving the fact my cousin owned 1/4 share of the property, and being a squirrelly ill tempered lady she left her share to the Nature Conservancy, BUT the executor of her will has attempted to steal the share for herself. It’s a thing. Thank goodness my brother has a LOT more money so he we have a lawyer on the case. But since we are talking my woods, the farm, basically my home, I am having a bit of a breakdown over it all.

***Boots aren’t fashion for me. These boots are the only thing I can get locally and afford (eventually) that support my ankles and fit my ankle braces. I no longer can wear sneakers or anything else that doesn’t lace up above the ankle. It sucks, especially considering the last time I got a pair of boots it was $80…the reason I only own one pair at a time anymore.

**** All these “ways to save money” things are bullshit. They assume you have a certain level of money to begin with. Anything that talks about gym memberships and lattes is utterly hilarious. Yeah, get poor enough you don’t have things you can cut back on!

[stxleslyds]

MY TOUGHTS ON THE END OF RED HOOD BY CHIP ZDARSKY.

Dishonour! Dishonour on you, dishonour on your cow! 

Well Jason Nation, it happened again, fanon wins over canon. The amount of bullshit that DC made Zdarsky write in this issue is insane, I have never seen this many fanfiction tropes shoved in a single issue in my life.

This book has been a constant insult to Jason’s character and his Red Hood “persona” since the very first issue but I never thought it would end this badly. It’s incredibly sad.

I will go ahead and say it, this tumblr and this post is not “Batfamily” friendly and it definitely isn’t fanon friendly when it comes to Jason Todd.

Fanon is destroying canon for Jason Todd. I am sorry but that’s how I see it, fanon doesn’t belong in canon, I would never get tired of saying that. But here is the thing, DC latches on to Jason’s fanon version because it fits their narrative of “the Batman is all that is right and all must follow his rules or they shall disappear”.

DC has been dying to make Jason bland and flavourless just like Batman. And now here it finally is.

Let’s be honest the story in this book, the new drug, Cheer, Tyler and his mom, none of that shaped this story, none of those things were the support beams for it. It was all about this never ending “daddy issues” thing that DC pretends is going on between Jason and Bruce.

It was all about those two fighting because they “think differently” so in the end they can push Jason towards the “no killing rule” being also the Red Hood’s modus operandi.

Its utter bullshit.

From the moment that Jason had to put a bat suit on I knew that this was going to be a mess. Luckily like I predicted they didn’t make a big deal out of him wearing it but the “Jason admires Batman” feeling was very present in the issue.

I will not talk about how easy it was for that one thug to land a punch on Jason while he was distracted and I will also not talk about Jason being a dumbass for not securing his dumb mask better when he knew the fight will involve gases. I will not talk about it.

Anyway, let’s talk about the Cheer Gas induced illusion, shall we?

In Jason’s illusion he finds Bruce at the manor looking at the picture of Joker’s death (?) and even though that is strange what Bruce says next is even weirder, he says this: “I did it. He was the last one, but I did it…Joker is dead. I am done.”

Now what the hell was that? This is Jason’s illusion, and by the looks of it in his illusion Bruce has killed every baddie in Gotham and left the Joker for last? Am I reading that right? Is this this a joke?

I understand that this is an illusion so the gas is making “real” things that Jason probably doesn’t know he wants, like wanting Bruce to go on a killing spree, which Jason never wanted because he said it himself, do you guys remember the iconic “I’m not talking about killing Cobblepot and Scarecrow or Clayface. Not Riddler or Dent…I’m talking about HIM. Just him.” Because I remember and it’s so important to Jason’s character, Jason never wanted Bruce to go on a killing spree, he wanted Bruce to kill the clown who had killed him when he was only fifteen. Is that so hard to remember DC?

And then it gets worse! Since WHEN has Jason wanted a perfect family life with the people that he has tried to kill, harm or looked down to? Why is “being with a bunch of people who NEVER get together for anything other than “help” the Bat in a fight against a fucking clown” the idea of happiness to Jason? Has this man ever interacted with any of these people in a positive way without the intrusion of a Batman/Robin event in the way? I will give you the answer, it’s no, the answer is no.

Jason Todd doesn’t care for your “Batfamily” bullshit DC, why would it matter to him? Because he was Robin? He was killed by the Joker when he was Robin, and he was killed because the man in charge of him didn’t pay enough attention! Jason Todd who was written as Dick Grayson’s number one hater for so long (and fandom loves that) is now having an illusion where he enjoys happy times with him along the others? Cass and Stephanie? What? Am I missing something, is this actually AO3, is this fanfiction?

I think Zdarsky got confused, this illusion is what would happen if Jason were dosed with fear gas. That must be it, I solved it everyone! Zdarsky just got confused by his own writing!

I wish.

Let’s go back to the sad reality, Jason has a moment in which he actually puts all his training in motion and shakes of the gas’s grasp on him. He does that but he is grabbed by so many people (who are this people?) and he is unarmed and I believe that’s the only reason why Cheer is still alive after saying that he has someone in Tyler’s mom’s hospital room ready to kill her if he doesn’t join him.

(If this were the real Jason, Cheer would have dropped dead instantly.)

But this is not the real Jason and this is not a *real* comic, it’s fanfiction! So just like that time in Batman #100 when Dick was fighting alone as Nightwing (for the first time since his “family” left him alone after losing his memories) the rest of the “family” shows up to fight Cheer and four random thugs.

Yep, its like the MCU had considered having Cap say “Avengers Assemble” when they were fighting a couple of robots instead of Thanos.

What a mess.

Also having Jason say, in real life (not illusion world), “You know what happiness is? It’s knowing that others have your back.” about this group of people is the perfect recipe for a big OOC moment for absolutely everyone. I cannot believe they have dragged Jason back to this awful concept and that they have sank him so low. It’s quite honestly, disgusting.

But the horrors don’t end there, we have a wonderful moment after Jason gives Batman the antidote, Jason stops Batman from punching the living shit out of Cheer. Because I am not stupid. There is no way in the world that you can convince me that Jason just stopped Batman from killing Cheer.

How incredibly delusional do you have to be to write Batman finally killing someone and that someone being Cheer, a guy that was introduced to comics two months ago?

Yes, later its said that between the gas and the antidote Bruce was a little too crazy and couldn’t help himself BUT I call bullshit once more, because Bruce has gone completely bat-shit-crazy on people before! I remember two recent instances in which that happened. Batman #57 in which Bruce beats the living shit out of KGBeast after he shot Dick. And the other one is Batman beating up Jason more brutally than he ever beat up Joker in RHatO #25.

DC cannot fuck with me. I might has bought this digital comic for 8 dollars but I am not buying that bullshit.

ALSO, there was no need for Zdarsky to do Jason as dirty as he did him when he made him say: “If you are going to come down from mount judgement to MY level for once… he’s not the guy to do it for.”

Zdarsky, why did you write a Red Hood story when you hate Red Hood? Couldn’t you have just told DC that you wanted to write a love letter to Batman? Once again, I am reading a Red Hood story for RED HOOD content not Batman content. Is it really that hard? I bet that if Zdarsky had asked DC to let him write a Batman story they would have said yes, there are like 20 Batman stories, they wouldn’t say no to one more!

Can you tell I am mad? And salty?

This post is so long and so full of anger, I am truly sorry for that but I have to write these feelings down or I would explode. And I am not even done, our suffering, Jason Nation, continues.

But first a little break from the pain, Tyler. Thank you after all the pain this book has given me Tyler is back and just like I predicted his mom is fine and he will stay with her, they both have been given a place and money to rebuild their life (not given by Jason nor Dick but I was close enough). The only happy ending that Tyler could have, he had and I am thankful for that, we even got a little adorable moment between the Red Hood and the Blue Hood.

I am weak for these little glimpses of a good Jason take in the middle of an incredibly awful/OOC story. And just to live in my own fantasy world I will headcanon that Jason promised himself to keep an eye out for Tyler and his mom. He would have wanted to know about their life and that they are still out of trouble.

Jason is a good man, don’t you forget that DC, I don’t care how much you twist it. Jason killing Tyler’s dad wasn’t a horrible act, it was fair game. That man was a horrible person, he drugged his child and made his wife (?) almost overdose. You never gave context as to why that man was working as a drug dealer but you told us those things so Jason should never feel like he did something wrong. As far as we know, Tyler and his mom are better off without him.

Having said that, lets go back to the pain of what is reading a Red Hood story.

“I’m giving up the guns.”

You know what, fine, as long as DC doesn’t pull another “I will stop being Red Hood for you Barbara” I will be fine. He can kill people with other things, he used to have the all-blades, he had normal swords and he had crowbars.

I will sacrifice Jason looking hot as hell when he pulls out his guns just to keep him as the Red Hood, all DC has to do is not give him that stupid… bat… symbol… oh no…. oh my god I can feel it… that thing, that horrible thing is making a comeback! NO!

Jason and Bruce’s talk is basic and it doesn’t do anything for anyone, in the end saying that Jason isn’t changing his ways for Bruce but that he is doing it for himself is more of the same. We know he is doing it for Bruce and we know DC is doing it because they cannot handle good, complex and interesting characters. We know that and sadly we have to live with it.

About Bruce’s illusion, well, Bruce has said that he wanted to kill the clown for a very long time and in the King run it was basically said that if Bruce were to be happy then the idea of Batman would die.

Listen, between me and you, sometimes I think that the Joker isn’t that big of a problem for Gotham as a whole, that clown has beef with the Bat and no one else. If Bruce has killed the Joker Jason would have been happy with Bruce all those years ago but killing the Joker wouldn’t make Gotham a safe place and any of his kids happier.

Bruce needs to care for his children, but he won’t do that, he has Dick for that. Taking care and raising Damian? No, thank you, I will not do that. Giving a shit about my son who lost all his memories and is alone? No thank you, I won’t do that and then I will lie about having watched him over. Tim? Oh, never heard of him, sorry.

The last page of this story is the one of Jason arriving home and finding a new suit that Bruce gave him with the bat symbol on it. That symbol that he had ripped off of Jason’s beat up body back in RHatO #25 (nope, I am not letting that one go).

Oh, and Bruce leaving that suit in Jason’s home gives me the same exact vibes as the time that Bruce was like “Long overdue. This is where you belong. As one of us. One of the family” in Nightwing #74 a second after Dick had regained his memories.

I don’t know why but they make him sound incredibly cold and like these people are just his pawns that he needs to rope back in every time they get away from him. It’s very disturbing.

Anyway, that’s all from me, I obviously LOVED this book, best Jason Todd/Red Hood characterisation ever! 11/10 would recommend to everyone including my enemies!

🙃