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#but Izzy sure thinks they fucked
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Imagine you’re Geraldo. You are vibing being one of the malewives ever. And then one day one of the most cringefail men you have ever seen walks into your wife’s establishment, introduces himself Like That, tells Blackbeard’s first mate to tell his boss to go suck eggs in hell, breaks your wife’s nose jar, and then doesn’t seem to take the hint when your wife kicks him out and tries to do some sort of dramatic exit. You trick him into getting stabbed by the Spanish Navy and you figure he’s as good as dead, because if he survives the navy somehow, then Blackbeard’s gonna kill him and you think nothing more of it.
Then two weeks later Izzy hands walks into your wife’s bar and tells you that that cringefail guy in the white suit has not only survived, but he seduced and fucked Blackbeard.
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arsenicflame · 7 months
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i think the reason izzy can be so blasé about his relationship with ed is not because hes taken to blaming a shark instead, but because hes actually already done a lot of the processing in the previous episode.
hes mourned his leg, hes had his drunk crying rants. hes gone through the five stages of grief. and then? the crew reaches out to him, offers him their support. they make him a new leg, they nominate him their new figurehead. when he stands there on the prow of the ship, leg on, letter in hand, thats his acceptance, thats his moving on.
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Honestly, after watching Supernatural, Merlin, and Hannibal, it's kind of hard to wrap my head around the queer romances in Our Flag Means Death. I'm so used to the queer romances in shows I like being tragic and/or toxic and it taking forever for the two characters to stop dancing around their feelings.
What is this "side characters pointing out to main character A that B likes them and A just rolls with it instead of shoving it down"?
What is this "several loving canon queer characters"?
What is this "'His name is Ed' followed by a smile and a hug"?
WHAT IS THIS "ONSCREEN KISSING" YOU SPEAK OF?
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the second con learned the show was gay he put his whole pussy into making izzy visibly besotted with ed and 13 year old girl jealous of stede and im so grateful.
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izzyspussy · 6 months
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another contrast between ed singing to the crew vs izzy singing to the crew: izzy starts out visibly nervous or unsure of his reception. he wants to do this, so he's going to do it, but he's not sure if it's going to work out for him. vs ed doing it and just expecting the crew to be receptive, to give him their attention, and to laud him. and you can see the truth of these things in the crew as well, frenchie confused at izzy's direction but staying with him rather than looking around for another cue from someone else like he did with ed. the crew all doing their own thing when izzy comes out and then encouraging him, versus the crew having clearly been sat down to listen to ed. etc.
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no but like the way the camera pans to lucius when izzy says "the crew is completely useless, bottom of the barrel" so the audience makes the connection that izzy considers lucius to be useless and his skills irrelevant and then the rest of the episode we see lucius and izzy do the same exact things and be EXACTLY AS USEFUL bc all they do is pester their boss and remember the date like in that episode izzy is literally indirectly calling himself useless
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oplishin · 25 days
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i cannot stop thinking about this moment after bayley and sasha's match at NXT Takeover: Respect 2015.
After a night of excellent heel work and "Sasha's ratchet" chants, the crowd instead starts to chant "thank you Sasha," and Sasha falls to the ground crying.
Someone had to play the villain and lose the first ever women's ppv main event, and she did so beautifully.
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wadinginthevelvet · 6 months
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sorry but I love the Izzy “dangling my legs over the side of the ship” scene because like. he’s literally right. it DOES serve him right.
Ed was deeply heartbroken but coping healthily until Izzy got in his head & made him feel like all he deserved was destruction. Ed TRUSTED Izzy, and this person who he felt knew him & saw him & cared about him essentially confirming in his view that he doesn’t deserve good things and only has worth as a monster— that being soft was worse for him than being dead— made him feel that he truly was unloveable and shoved him over the edge into the Kraken persona. plus Izzy ASKED him to be violent! he grinned when he cut off his toe! the beginning of s2 is Izzy realizing that a. Ed is not actually happy as Blackbeard and is in fact destroying himself and b. Izzy himself has grown to care for this crew in a way he didn’t realize he had and maybe actually has some human empathy. and doesn’t want them to be brutalized. which I honestly don’t think he had a handle on before it was too late & he’d already set them up for this level of violence. and also clearly he did NOT know Ed in the way he thought he did! he didn’t realize he cared about the crew like that, but he also didn’t think Kraken-Ed would be that intense. he thought that horrible pep talk was what Ed needed to get back to being pre-Stede Blackbeard, not realizing that pre-Stede Blackbeard was a facade Ed was already deeply unhappy and insecure underneath, but also failing to comprehend (or even notice) the extent of Ed’s trauma and lack of self-worth and the fairly obvious (to anyone who actually knew or understood Ed) fact that telling him those things would shatter his very fragile belief that he deserved these tenuous but brave attempts at taking care of himself and trying to become who he wanted to be. Kraken-Ed was not who Izzy thought he would trigger when he gave him the talk, because he didn’t actually know or understand him like he thought he did. & that’s what he’s coming to terms with in s2 and it is a wonderful arc! lots of people have written fantastic metas about Izzy & his motivations and the complexity of his realization that he didn’t know Ed like he though he did & wasn’t close to him like he thought he was so I won’t bother to fully go into that here as interesting as it is. but like.. he asked for violence & he got it. he didn’t have a good handle on his own feelings about the crew/piracy and he evidently had zero handle on Ed’s (he is masterful at suppression but isn’t emotionally intelligent enough to be able to tell Ed is too), and while yeah it was Ed’s trauma and whole brutal career as a pirate and this glimpse at a different future and Stede’s betrayal all coming together to cause Ed’s eventual breakdown, Izzy’s talk is what made him give up and pushed him overboard into the Kraken era. he convinced him he was worthless if he wasn’t a monster, & in doing so unleashed that monster onto himself and the crew. he taunted the shark and lost a leg. I don’t think there’s anything unhealthy about him framing it like that— he isn’t suppressing his feelings about it or pretending it didn’t happen— he’s just processing & accepting the truth of the matter. when Lucius says Blackbeard cut off his leg and Izzy says “a shark did this”, he’s acknowledging it wasn’t really Ed who shot him, but a violent, hopeless, actively suicidal caricature of Blackbeard, a monster Izzy helped create. Izzy isn’t Ed’s victim— they’re an eye for an eye now. and I’m glad he acknowledged it like that
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Ooooooohhhhhhh now I’m thinking of an Izzy with an Ella Enchanted style curse on him hhhhhhhhhh
Read-more cause this got away from me lmfao
He keeps it fairly under wraps for most of his life, sets out to sea at twelve, gets picked up by a press gang at seventeen. He manages, its  expected, for a sailor to follow orders on a navy ship, after all (of course ‘no’ isn't an option available to him anyway).
They get boarded by pirates when he's about twenty one and he’s taken on as part of their crew, the captain is after crew more than loot, tells him he should join (saying ‘no’ would have just had him killed, and he's doing his very best to live).
Some time after, he's nearing twenty five, they’re raided by another ship, the Ranger. Benjamin Hornigold likes a ruthless sailor (a ruthless pirate) and Israel Hands has never allowed himself to be anything but. He decides he wants to keep this one. He offers, Izzy accepts. Ben tells him to kill his former captain (wouldn’t have said ‘no’ even if he could have, the man was a bastard).
He earns a reputation of being kind of a kiss-ass, he doesn’t really mind, it keeps most people from asking questions. But Ben’s got his pet projects Edward Teach and John ‘Jack’ Rackham and they’re both too sharp for their own good (though, Jack is better at playing dumb). They notice its not just Captain’s orders he follows to the letter, but everyone’s. They test him, subtly at first, but eventually they show their hand. Tell him that they know there’s more to Izzy’s obedience than he lets on.
He’s terrified for how they might use this against him (the usual ways, which most men abused without even knowing about his curse, easier, safer to let them think he wanted it) but they tell him they don’t want to take his agency from him like that. They offer to help him. He’s not sure whether to trust it (he knows, by rights, he shouldn’t) but he can’t say ‘no’ to ‘trust us, let us help’ (whether Edward is aware of the command, Izzy will never know, decades later Edward doesn’t even remember what he said to convince him).
So they stick by him, as best they can, if someone gives an order he doesn’t want to follow they’ll tell him, quietly as they can, not to. It works, for the most part. Though eventually, Ben notices Izzy’s not quite as obedient anymore (though he still never says ‘no’ to his captain’s orders). He doesn’t like that. He notices Izzy’s been spending more time around Teach and Rackham, decides they’re bad influences (he intends them to captain other ships in his fleet, they’re allowed to push back on orders, Izzy will never have a command of his own, he is not). He separates them. Puts Teach and Rackham on the Marianne with the flimsy excuse of ‘getting practice in’. (he sees them off with Izzy at his side, a claiming hand on his shoulder, Ed and Jack aren't sure how they manage it, but they don't try to kill him right then and there) They now only ever see each other when they all make port. Its a trying few months (for Ed and Jack, for Izzy. . .).
They meet at port one last time (apart, at least). Edward has a plan. They’re going to mutiny. They’ve been stirring the pot on the Marianne (whispers had already started before they got there, not too many of the crew were happy to miss out on loot just because Ol’ Ben had an apparent soft spot for the Crown). He presses his knife into Izzy's hands. Tells him, back on the ship, when everyone else is asleep, he’s to slip into the captain’s cabin and kill Ben, in his sleep, so he can’t order him to stop (Izzy is never sure if he would have said ‘no’ to that unintentional order, had he been able).
The mutiny goes off without a hitch (Ben wakes when the knife plunges into his throat, but he can’t give orders around the steel and the blood that choke him). Edward makes Izzy his first mate, gives Jack the Marianne. He and Izzy go on to create a legend.
Things are good, for a long while they're good. Edward is an inventive and charismatic captain, the crew love him and the loot he leads them to, and Izzy's position (and Edward's possessive protectiveness over him) means that anyone who dares order Israel Hands around, that doesn't have the title of 'his captain', meets a quick end.
Unfortunately, for Izzy, 'good' never tends to last. He'd hoped (and damn him for daring to hope) that he was free, as free as he could be, from his curse, sailing under Edward (Blackbeard), and he was. For a while. Its about a decade later when Edward starts to get bored. He never orders Izzy to do anything degrading or dangerous (more dangerous than he can handle at least) but it still hurts somewhere deep in his chest the first time Edward gives a casual order and doesn't look to see if Izzy wants to follow it.
They come across Jack every now and again. It always takes him a bit to readjust to Izzy, to remember he needs to phrase things as suggestions rather than orders, he always manages eventually. (that little pain in his chest digs a little deeper when he notices Edward avoids giving him orders when Jack is around, though he can't say why) Their crossing paths wind up fewer and farther between as the years go on. One notable visit involved Jack asking Edward to marry him and Anne Bonny ('why not just have your first mate do it?' 'Annie is my first mate, man, 'sides, I want my two best buds to be there for it!'). Izzy isn't sure what to make of Edward's renewed willingness to run into Jack afterwards (only knows that the pain in his chest grows all the sharper for it, and at seeing Jack, happy with Anne, he feels a bit monstrous about that). It doesn't matter much in the end, things go back to normal once Mary/Mark (depending on the day) Read enters the picture and (mostly) steals Annie away from Jack.
And suddenly Izzy finds himself at fifty five, on a beach, wondering ‘what kind of fucking idiot runs his ship aground‘. Edward is intrigued, Izzy can't tell him 'no'.
He hates the Revenge with every fiber of his being. None of the crew listen to him, Edward doesn't back him up (and neither do Fang or Ivan, following their captain's lead). The first time one of the crew gets it into their head to give him a mocking order he nearly passes out with the force it takes him to not jump to the task immediately. He retreats to his cabin later and vomits at the feeling of violation he hasn't felt in decades (he tells himself he hasn't felt it, Edward is his captain, above all else is loyalty to his captain, his own feelings don't matter).
He hates stupid fucking Stede Bonnet most of all. Hates him for putting a light back in Edward's eyes that hasn't been there for a long while. Hates his pompous attitude, his flippant disregard for the institution of piracy, how little he seems to actually care for the safety and well-being of his own men (leave alone the danger he poses to Edward). Most of all he hates that he calls him 'Iggy'.
So when he challenges him to a duel, and he accepts, its only for Edward's sake that he sets the terms at 'banishment' and not 'death'. When he loses he finds he rather wished it had been to the death. (he doesn't understand, Edward wanted this, he hadn't even told him to stop, hadn't ordered him to stop)
He retreats to Spanish Jackie'z to lick his wounds and to work out a plan to pull Edward out of the steady march towards his own demise that he faces aboard the Revenge. Jackie, Izzy is fairly certain, knows about his curse to some extent (he suspects she doesn't abuse the knowledge for the sake of having a bargaining chip, should she need it), she talks him out of any corners the navy bloke with a grudge against Stede Bonnet inadvertently walks him into. She also runs him into Jack Rackham (and Izzy realizes, at the sight of the silver starting to peek its way through his dirty blond, that its been nearly ten years since they've last seen each other, that pain in his chest not any duller for it) and the last piece of the plan falls into place. Jack tries to talk him out of it, says its not a good idea, even offers him a position on his own ship (not that its his ship to offer anymore, since Annie took over captaincy and made Mary/Mark her first mate, but they've both always had a soft spot for Izzy on account of Jack's soft spot for Izzy, they'd be more than willing), not once does he order though and Izzy can't let Edward keep doing this to himself. Jack will understand when he sees him, Izzy says. Jack goes.
(Izzy hears, when the navy gunners crow triumphantly about hitting the dinghy, the one that Jack and Edward were in, the one that Edward jumped out of, he tells himself not to let it show when that pain in his chest comes back twenty-fold at the thought)
Edward claims the Act of Grace. He and Stede Bonnet leave to lick the king’s boots. Izzy doesn't make it a single day as captain. Edward comes back just before he goes overboard with the anchor to follow. He comes back wrong. Izzy can't take it. Edward can't take it.
The Kraken wakes and Izzy is introduced to the concept of a living hell. (even the captive crew stop trying to give him orders, at the haunted look in his eye, when they see how the Kraken orders him around, when he discovers Spriggs alive, if a lot worse for the wear, he doesn't even need the order to keep it under wraps, he doesn't want to know what the Kraken would order him to do if the boy is found out, he shudders at the thought)
When stupid fucking Stede Bonnet (and his marooned crew) finds his way back to the Revenge Izzy allows himself a single moment to feel relieved. Until, at least, the Kraken orders him to kill the man. He can't. He fights. The crew are all shouting at him not to, it eases the strain. The Kraken levels his pistol at his head, the crew goes silent.
'Israel, I order you to kill Stede Bonnet'.
His sword is in his hand. Stede's gotten better with his own sword, is managing to hold his own against Izzy (in truth, its mostly due to Izzy straining to not follow the order, but there is a marked improvement). The Kraken growls 'Kill him Izzy, fucking- kill him!' Izzy loses his sword to the mast again (he's grateful this time), his knife is in his hand a second later. He's got less reach than Stede does but Stede is trying not to hurt him. Why is he trying not to hurt him?
'Bonnet. Bonnet, you have to stop me. I can't. I can't kill you. I can't let him do that to himself. You have to. Run me through. Right here-' he taps his chest with his free hand, the one that isn't swinging the knife around, the left side, right over his heart '-only way to stop this. He might even listen to you afterwards.'
'Izzy. Izzy no.' In his shock, Stede lowers his sword. Izzy swears as he knocks it out of his hand. Presses close, crowds him against the doors to the captain's cabin, knife against his throat.
'Just fucking kill him already!'
A bead of blood wells under the tip of the blade. Izzy meets his own eyes in the polished reflection of his knife.
'Izzy stop fucking around and do what I told you to!'
His hands shake with the weight of the order. There are tears in his eyes, he can see them in his reflection.
A memory comes, unbidden: He, Edward, and Jack hiking through dense jungle to find a witch that Jack thinks might be able to break his curse, or at least tell them how to break it themselves. Her words 'I cannot break this curse Israel, this is something you must do for yourself. I can tell you this, however, to do this you'll need to face yourself. Face yourself and free yourself. That is all I can say, I'm sorry, I'd tell you more if I could.' They'd left disappointed, Jack cursing about scams and 'you can't even trust witches these days, man', Edward contemplatively silent.
Face yourself and free yourself. Izzy's eyes flick upwards to Stede's concerned face, back down to the blade. He meets his own eyes again.
'Izzy-' The rest of the Kraken's words go unheard.
Izzy tells himself, voice scarcely more than a breath: 'You will not be obedient.'
He feels, more than sees, Stede's gasp. He ignores it. His hand still wants to press the knife upwards. He tries again.
'You will not be obedient.' A little louder this time.
'The fuck did you just say-' Again.
'You will not be obedient!'
The knife flies across the deck, lands with a clatter. Silence (but for the sound of Izzy's labored breaths).
He turns, ignores the shocked crew, meets Edward's wide eyes with his own watery ones (when had the tears started falling so freely?).
'. . . Iz. . . ?'
Everything goes black.
#the dork is being a dork#izzy hands#jack rackham#mmmm i feel safe enough tagging#edward teach#stede bonnet#am i ever going to be able to imagine a cj that isn't in love with izzy? all signs point to 'no' lmfao#izzy is also in love with jack if that wasn't obvious#problem is a bit two-fold in that he's also still in love with ed AND there was an unintentional order in 'above all else is loyalty to your#captain' so even if he was emotionally aware enough to realize they were mutually in love he wouldn't have done anything about it#cj is the world's number one izzy respecter he worked SO hard to make sure izzy never had to do anything he didn't want to do#also he 100% survived the navy guys saw him survive but they didn't like izzy cause he's a pirate so they wanted to fuck with him#he finds his way back to the revenge sometime later (maybe with anne and mary/mark with him) and BEGS izzy to come with him#they compromise and start a fleet (jack stays on the revenge more often than not cause izzy stays on the revenge more often than not)#this COULD turn into stackedhands but its mostly cjizzy#and izzy/people who actually care about him and his well-being#which does start to include the crew post kraken#anyway izzy wakes up later in the captain's cabin and there are several uncomfortable talks to be had#(also i don't necessarily think ed realized he wasn't ordering izzy when jack was around)#(it was kind of like falling into old habits)#(while also knowing subconsciously that jack WOULD rock his shit for doing that to izzy)#(same with avoiding him thru the years)#(he knew he was fucking up with izzy but wasn't ready to face it and let himself be held accountable the way jack would make him do)
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ladyluscinia · 2 years
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Honestly it's insane to me how little I see Edward's little good cop / bad cop ploy from 1x04 brought up when talking about him. Like it's subtle, but I thought it was in a "Holy shit he's playing these people so well" and "How often does he do this?" kind of way, not a "I totally missed that happened" way.
Anyway, if you are for some reason under the impression that Edward does not actively support and utilize Izzy's aggressive and threat-focused management style to maintain order on his own ship, then please read this post and go watch the start of 1x04 again. It may be enlightening.
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suncaptor · 4 months
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it is kind of. insane. that Izzie Stevens donated almost nine million dollars to the hospital she worked at to start a free clinic there. and then when she got cancer while being an employee at that hospital. she still ended up in 200,000 dollars in debt.
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faggyangel · 6 months
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like 'i wanna go' doesn't mean he's suicidal, it means 'i've developed friends and family, i've grown, i've experimented and discovered who i am and made peace with it, i've loved everyone i needed to and they loved me back and i know that now. i can let go of the idea of glory and just be with family for the time i have left. i'll sit with ed until i go and tell that i love him, tell him it's okay that i'll be gone because he has people who care for him, it's not just me anymore, i can trust stede to love him, watch him become who he wants to be, i can tell him that i want him to be happy, that he can leave blackbeard behind and be who he is outside of being the legend we made together. ed's loved and protected, the crew is safe, my family is taken care of, and i've done everything i need to.' he doesn't mean 'i wanna go because i don't want to live' it means 'i wanna go, i'm ready, i lived my life and i can let go now' izzy died happy and fulfilled, he died in the arms of the man he loved, surrounded by people who loved him. the crew mourned him by celebrating lucius and pete's love, they mourned him by going forward and avenging him, forming a new family and crew to carry on the legacy of piracy, and most importantly ed is mourning him by doing exactly what izzy told him to do, he's letting blackbeard die and allowing himself to be loved, he moves into a little house with someone who will always love him with izzy's grave and memorial in view, and izzy will always be with ed in so many ways, but especially because he gave him permission to let go of his darkness and become someone better
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candied-cae · 7 months
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The way that Stede treated Izzy during episode 3 were some of the ONLY times I could stand seeing Izzy on screen so far this season because it finally felt like someone who recognized him and was treating him rationally tbh
I adore this show and the people who worked on it, but ffs, it feels like they all enjoyed Con too much and the Izzy-Enjoyers Fanon of his character last season and jumped the gun on his redemption arc.
I'm going to go through and explain this more, but I just wanted to put that out there first while I lay out why Stede's expressions and reactions make so much more sense coming out of season 1's events.
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izzy-b-hands · 9 months
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I really wish blocking someone meant their stuff wouldn’t wind up on your dash at all. Like I understand why it doesn’t, but. still.
Actually, I just need to get better abt checking source urls before I reblog. I try to be mindful, but now and again I Forget and have only myself to blame lmao
#text post#I would love to reblog their art and be supportive in that way at least but tbh#every time I accidentally reblog it I remember checking out their blog and seeing how they talked abt fans that like Izzy and the izcourse#and it's like oh no that's right you hate ppl like me and ur art might be gorg but maybe we just shouldn't interact#they do their thing and I'll be over here doing mine#what really needs to happen is I need to remember to check urls on fandom art to make sure it isn't any of the folks I had to block lmao#but sometimes I get excited bc the art is genuinely lovely and i do like it and think the person is v talented!#and then i forget to check and it's only after scrolling my dash that i see my reblog and the url and go 'oh. fuck. that's right. damnit.'#it's a weird feeling to be like yes I want this person to have fun and make gorgeous art but also it seems#they've made it p clear how they feel abt folks like me and so maybe they would prefer i just fuck off#which i tried to do by blocking!! and yet. here we are#i delete the reblogs whenever this happens so they don't have me in their notes but#i do hope they know their art is lovely and I appreciate their hard work even if we wouldn't otherwise get along with each other#idek why I'm blogging abt this I guess bc I feel like usually it's either or online? like u either hate each other or u don't#but I don't hate the folks who sent shit to me or the folks who condoned it i just wish i had found a way to get along with them instead#as useless a wish as that probably is#and i don't talk abt it a lot but it really bugs the fuck outta me sometimes that we can't just start over and try to interact generally#no messages no trying to be friends just reblog from them if u like and otherwise ignore each other#which has been a thing that's worked fairly okay in other fandoms tho things have happened in others to change how workable it was#but for some reason in this one i feel like im just always walking on eggshells to interact w/anyone bc it feels like everyone is waiting#for someone else to say something they vaguely disagree with and instead of just like. blocking and moving on w/the fandom experience#it turns into a massive mess that even if ur on the fringes of it all you still get pulled into or sent shit and just.#idk it doesn't matter bc ultimately none of this does but dang it the show has been special to me and hits all my special interests#and it's hard to let go and accept that there's no changing how things went and how they are and how this fandom experience for me is often#very fucking lonely even when i'm bursting at the seams to share and to hear from others what they think abt anything and everything w/it#no one is gonna read this tag essay lmao pls scroll on
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EXTREMELY funny how ed makes izzy run the stupid errand of inviting stede aboard by saying "i want this done right" and then izzy proceeds to Not Do It Right
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caruliaa · 1 year
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might watch the first puss in boots for funzies but do i need to. like from what iv heard abt it ik kittys backstory and that there is some gal+izzy shit going on with puss and kitty and i think thats all i need to know
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