#but a few years back i was like fuck this no labels. I'll mention it if it comes up shit. who doesn't know? and i made a list and

[beeseverywhen]

I don't consider it enough but God I love being out. There's just something about casual conversations with family & friends where they know to say boyfriend or girlfriend. If you got married... your husband or wife. There's something so simple in it and when I think about it for more than a second I just feel so free? I'm so glad I took that step cause it was 100% the right one for me, you know? And now I have it I can't even consider that I thought about living without it

[afewproblems]

50. "I need you to forgive me."

You know why...

But please!!!

I know this took forever so I hope you will forgive me! (Also when I originally received this ask I had just posted part one and mentioned in the tags that prompt 50 could be a good 'fix-it' prompt for a follow up, and well, here we are! Also when I received it, I laughed for a solid minute, like evil laughed so thank you @happymediummm )

Part Three of Prompt 53. 'I'm flirting with you!'

Part One, Part Two

It's on Friday that the cavalry arrives.

Dustin bangs on Eddie's bedroom door, with a mace by the sounds of it.

He's about to snark that Dustin doesn't play a class that uses martial weapons when he hears the kid yell--

"Eddie! You have five seconds before I come in there and get you myself, I got your uncle's permission and everything!"

Eddie groans and detaches himself from the bed  flipping the pillow he had been wallowing in away from himself.

He stomps towards the door and flings it open, leveling an unimpressed glare at Dustin who barrels past him into the bedroom.

Dustin crosses to the desk, his head on a swivel as he looks around the small space, Eddie scoffs as he steps towards Dustin, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"What the hell are you doing Henderson?" Eddie spits out as Dustin shrugs his hand off, he seems to spy what he's looking for as he crows a single, 'Aha,' and makes his way to the dresser.

"Seriously, Dustin, what are you doing here?"

"Saving you from yourself dude," Dustin scoffs as he takes a tape out of his pants pocket, the familiar writing on the label makes Eddie's stomach fall into his feet.

It's Steve's tape.

"No, nope, absolutely not," Eddie snaps. 

He reaches for the cassette in Dustin's hand, only for the little shit to spin away from him and toss the tape from his right to his left hand in a move that seems so much like the teen's babysitter that Eddie wants to scream.

Dustin manages to pop the tape into the player and hit play before Eddie can get close again.

A few notes of a bass guitar reach Eddie's ear and his hands drop from Dustin's shoulders as he perks up…he knows this song.

"What the fuck Henderson?" He breathes out with wide eyes that flick back and forth between him and the cassette player.

'Oh yeah!

Some people say my love cannot be true

Please believe me, my love, and i'll show you

I will give you those things you thought unreal

The sun, the moon, the stars all bear my seal--'

"You are being an idiot," Dustin says matter of factly, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he frowns at Eddie, "I don't exactly know what you said, but I think I got the gist out of Steve earlier today when Robin wasn't acting like a guard dog". 

His dark blue eyes scan Eddie as he shakes his head, "you thought it was a joke, do you know Steve?"

Eddie rolls his eyes before crossing to the cassette player and slapping the stop button. All at once the sounds of Black Sabbath halt, leaving the room in tense silence. 

"Look," Eddie snarls, "I've known people like Steve over the years, it's all the same bullshit--"

"Stop it!" Dustin snaps, he steps closer to Eddie and jabs a finger into his chest, "you don't know what the hell you're talking about!"

Dustin's cheeks are flushed with anger as he shakes his head again, "he's nothing like that Eddie, you're being an asshole!"

"What is all the yellin' about?" Wayne's voice trickles through the door, a hint of concern running through it as he leans against the frame, eyeing both Eddie and Dustin warily. 

"When I gave you permission to barge in here I don't remember agreeing to participate in a screamin' match son,” Wayne says, biting back a smile at the indignant expression on Dustin's face.

"Sorry Mr. Munson, but Eddie's being an idiot!" Dustin crosses his arms once more as he looks from Eddie to Wayne challengingly.

"That so?" Wayne laughs, "care to argue the charge," he directs at Eddie who rolls his eyes.

"It's nothing Wayne, Dustin is leaving now--" 

"Steve made that tape for you," Dustin yells, pointing at the cassette player, "and you threw it in his face!" 

"That true Ed?"

"It was a stupid joke," Eddie growls as Dustin throws his hands up in the air, "it doesn't mean anything". 

Wayne looks at Eddie for a long moment, his face unreadable.

"Steve Harrington?" He asks softly. 

Dustin nods nervously at Wayne before shooting another glare at Eddie.

"The one that came by your hospital room every day till you woke up Ed? The one they couldn't get to leave on the day you opened your eyes, that Steve Harrington?" 

"So?" Eddie huffs, wrapping his own arms around his chest tightly, incredibly aware of the two pairs of eyes trained on him.

 "Wayne, you told me I had to be careful of who I opened myself up to, I'm just following your advice!" 

Wayne sighs, lifting his hand to pinch into his eyes.

"You'd be lucky to have a friend like Steve," Dustin grumbles as he moves to the bed to sit down. He pulls up his legs up to his chest and glares at the back of Eddie's head.

"Kid, I think Ed and I need to have a conversation, alone," Wayne says quietly to Dustin.

Eddie watches in fascination as Dustin opens his mouth to argue, but after whatever silent conversation takes place between the teen and his uncle, Dustin merely huffs and slips off the bed. 

"Listen to the damn tape and get your head out of your ass," Dustin bites out as he passes Eddie, he levels one last impressive glare at the metal-head before leaving the room.

Wayne sighs as he makes his way over to the bed to sit, taking over Dustin's vacated spot.

"So, Harrington, huh?"

Eddie scowls and says nothing, leaning against the dresser. He winces as the sudden weight of his shoulder jostles everything, causing his loose D&D dice to fall off the edge and plink and plunk across the floor of his room.

The D4 will be a bitch to accidentally find with his feet later on, but Eddie ignores the mess and continues brooding against the dresser.

Wayne scratches his face, tapping an unsteady rhythm against his jean clad knee with his other hand, "okay," Wayne says gruffly from the bed as he shifts to stand. 

"I don't know what ya did or said, but it was enough to make that kid beg his way in here," Wayne huffs, hooking a thumb over his shoulder at the open door. 

Eddie shrugs, refusing to lift his gaze from the floor. He hears Wayne sigh and the shift of fabric as he steps closer. 

"You were so small," Wayne mutters suddenly. 

Eddie looks up in confusion, but Wayne isn't looking at him, his eyes are trained just over Eddie's shoulder.

"When you came home that day, all black and blue," he shrugs and scratches his face again, "I didn't know how to help ya, and you wouldn't explain". 

Eddie swallows roughly, horrified at the sudden brightness of his uncle's eyes. A man he has only seen cry twice since he's known him, the first time was at Eddie's mothers funeral, the other was the day Eddie woke up at the hospital all those months ago. 

"I don't think I could stand it if anything happened to you Ed," Wayne breathes out wetly now as he roughly scrubs at his face, "and you being in the hospital, you were suddenly that small kid again, standing on my porch all black and blue". 

Eddie feels his own eyes sting as his uncle turns slightly to wipe his face again, "What are you saying?"

"You weren't alone this time, Ed," Wayne says softly as he steps towards his nephew and grasps him gently by the shoulders, "you have so many more people looking out for you, hell --one of em' carried you home". 

"I think a person like that deserves at least a chance to know you, and to see what I see".

It's Eddie's turn to swipe at his misty eyes, "What's that?" He asks with an unconvincing cough to hide the wobble in his voice.

Wayne smiles, giving Eddie's shoulders a soft squeeze, "a damn good kid with a big heart, who I hope knows how to apologize when it's needed".

"But what if you're wrong?"

"Then I'm wrong, and we'll get through it," Wayne tugs Eddie towards him without warning into a tight hug and reaches behind Eddie to press play on the cassette player; the sound of guitar and drums begin again as Ozzy's voice fills the room. 

'Your love for me has just got to be real

Before you know the way I'm going to feel--'

"But for the record kid, I don't think I am".

***

Eddie listens to the tape. 

He listens to it again and again, both sides. Steve filled both sides with music for him…

He lays on his bed while it plays, staring a hole into the ceiling as the last few piano notes ring out before the tape stops, filling the room with silence.

The songs don't all go with one another and out of a dozen there's about eight he knows. The other four seem to be a mixture of songs he's heard Steve play in the beemer with the kids, or while dancing in his kitchen with Robin.

it's not an expert mix by any means, but Steve did manage to collect a decent amount of metal songs just for Eddie and even a one he's never heard before --since when did Scorpions write love songs? 

After hours alone in his room, sitting on his bed, listening to Steve's tape over and over again, there is one thing he can't deny.

Steve Harrington has feelings for him…had feelings for him, and Eddie ruined it. 

He wants to take the version of himself that pushed Steve away and shake him. 

Eddie winces as he pictures the devastated expression on Steve's face when he left. His normally bright hazel eyes and wide goofy grin were left pinched with hurt.

Eddie had done that, taken six months of tentative friendship, of lingering glances and soft teasing smiles -how had he missed those, and tossed this delicate thing away from himself like it was nothing. 

He looks over at the glowing green hands of the clock by his bed. It’s nearly midnight; Dustin left a few hours ago now and Wayne is now at work. 

Eddie breathes out a sigh through his nose as a sudden wave of determination flows through him.

He looks towards the far wall by the door, his Sweetheart hanging up on her hooks. 

Dustin had apparently insisted on grabbing it, doubling back on a severely sprained ankle while Nancy tore a verbal strip off his back for wasting time as an unconscious Eddie slowly continued to bleed out in Steve's arms.

Eddie shivers, it had been so strange to consider everything that happened, or what he was told happened during the gap in his memory. 

Steve had been the one to carry him out while Robin and Nancy helped compress the worst of his wounds with torn fabric and left over gauze from the patch job they had done for Steve.

He vaguely remembers a string of words, a whispered sentence that made no sense as Eddie drifted in and out of consciousness but now…

'You can't do this, come on Munson, open those stupid beautiful eyes of yours, who's going to yell at us about the corruption of youth in America huh? We need you man, I-I….'

Eddie had really been so fucking clueless. 

He gets up from the bed and crosses to the wall, taking the guitar off the hooks. 

At least now, he has a plan.

***

It was a shit plan.

Cutting down the road the kids had taken to calling Mirkwood and through the woods by Loch Nora seemed pretty sound in theory, giving Eddie the element of surprise and hiding him from any watchful neighborhood eyes. 

What he had not taken into account, however, was the pitch darkness, the unfamiliar maze of trees he now found himself in, and how fucking heavy his portable amp was going to be.

Perfect.

Eddie stumbles over a fallen log, nearly careening into the mulch and rotting leaves of the forest floor. The half moon above him, not nearly enough to light his path through the thicket.

At least this version of the woods feels alive, Eddie thinks to himself; the smell of damp dirt and the sound of frogs and crickets singing in the darkness is infinitely more appealing than the strange forest they had found themselves in a mere six months prior. And with the gates finally sealed, the most dangerous thing he could come across would probably be a rattler or a coyote. 

Eddie peers around at the thought, he's not quite sure he's entirely comfortable even running into those animals anytime soon…especially the snake.

Finally, after another ten minutes of walking, warm yellow light begins to sift through the trees ahead of him as he brushes away low branches from his field of vision. 

Eddie hikes up the guitar strap higher up his shoulder and steps fully into the light that illuminates the Harrington backyard lawn and pool.

Eddie scans the back of the house, flipping the mental map of the Harrington home around to visualize which window was most likely to be for Steve's bedroom.

He steps further into the yard, setting down the heavy amp onto the concrete patio before leaning down to grab a handful of wood chips from the shrubs next to the house.

Here goes nothing.

Eddie tosses one of the pieces of wood at the window above him. 

It barely connects with the windowsill before dropping back down onto the patio with a muted clack. 

Oh this is humiliating.

He tries again and again to hit Steve's window with the wood chips in his hand, each one completely misses the target. One bounces into the eavestrough, another careens off the siding and back into the pool behind Eddie. 

"Fuck this," Eddie growls, throwing the rest of the wood chips back into the shrubs as he snatches the cord for his amp and shoves the plug into the nearest outdoor outlet. 

He turns the volume down slightly, the plan won't work if the cops get called on him immediately. 

Eddie takes the guitar off his back and plucks a few notes, adjusting one of the tuning keys until the sound is just right.

"Here goes nothing, come on Stevie," Eddie whispers as he begins to play. 

"I hear the ticking' of the clock, I'm lying here the room's pitch dark," he sings softly, strumming out the cords, it's slightly harsher than the piano but sue him, Eddie only managed to play it once through by ear at home before he left the house.

This was Steve's last track on the tape, and Eddie's sure he put it there for a reason.

He listened to the song again and again, slowly picking up the cords as he did so. 

He could do this, he picked up Master of Puppets in just a few weeks, Eddie could handle Heart.

Eddie keeps going, his voice carries over the yard, growing in volume; so much so that he misses the patio door slowly slide open and the sound of a pair of feet padding onto the patio. 

"What are you doing here?" Steve's voice calls out to Eddie from the door, he jumps, nearly dropping the guitar. His hand jolts on the strings as Eddie attempts to keep his hold on the instrument, letting the guitar scream for him.

Steve stares at him as Eddie unplugs the amp cord and swings the guitar around his back once more with shaking hands, his thoughts spinning, trying to figure out how to start.

"I listened to the tape," Eddie says softly, Steve cocks his head slightly to better hear him, his face shuttering as the words register.  

Eddie's heart races as he watches Steve begin to turn towards the patio door once more, he needs to act fast.

"And I need you to forgive me," he blurts out, louder than he intends, but Steve does pause with his hands on the door handle.

"Why's that?" He says sharply, dropping his hand away from the door, turning to fully face Eddie once more.

Eddie chews his lip nervously as Steve's gaze hardens the longer they stand in silence, his arms come up to wrap around his chest tightly.

"I thought you were playing a prank," Eddie sighs, saying it aloud makes him want to deflate, to walk right into the pool and sink to the bottom. 

If the look Steve gives him is any indication, Steve would be more than happy to watch him go.

"That's a lot of effort to put into a fucking prank Munson," Steve bites out, there is no heat to the words though. He just sounds tired, resigned.

Shit.

"It wouldn't be the first time," Eddie mumbles, he reaches up to scrub his hand over his face, missing the way Steve's face softens ever so slightly and his arms drop from the way they seem to be holding him together. 

"But I'm not going to make excuses," Eddie takes a step closer to Steve, his heart threatening to break through his ribcage the closer he gets, "I'm sorry for how I reacted and for thinking you could do something like that".

"I know you aren't like that, you're honest, and kind," Eddie reaches out and takes the tape from his back pocket and gestures towards Steve with it, "and so fucking thoughtful it makes me ache to think I ruined everything". 

He puts the tape back in his pocket, Steve’s eyes watch him curiously now as he does, it fills him with wary hope, enough to keep talking. 

"So, I need you to forgive me Steve, because I hope you'll let me make it up to you sweetheart".

Steve's face tips down suddenly towards his socked feet and the cold concrete patio, making it impossible for Eddie to make out his expression. He holds his breath as the silence stretches between them.

"Robin was right, you can be such an asshole," Steve says quietly, Eddie's chest tightens painfully at the words.

Eddie nods once,doing everything in his power to keep his face neutral but the downward curl of his lip is unstoppable as he reaches down to pick up the amp.

"But," Steve says, taking a step away from the door behind him, "as someone who was an asshole for a long time," Steve says quietly, pressing the palm of his hand into his chest, "I think it would be pretty hypocritical to not let you make it up to me".

He's grinning now. It’s small, barely stretching across Steve's freckled face, but it's warm and just for Eddie. 

"What did you have in mind, Sweetheart?" 

Steve is quiet for a moment, his eyes dart over Eddie's face before he finally whispers, "can you finish the song Eds?" 

"I think that can be arranged, " Eddie hums with a bright grin of his own. 

He swings the guitar off his back again, quickly plugging it into the amp. 

Eddie looks up to find Steve smiling softly at him as he takes a seat on one of the pool loungers. He pulls his legs up to rest his arms on his knees, basking in his own private concert. 

As the first pink and orange rays of sunrise begin to bloom on the horizon behind him, slowly painting Steve's face gold, Eddie can't help the relief that flows through him. 

He looks down at the shy grin Steve gives him, his hazel eyes bright in the new day's light, and thinks, 'holy shit, I almost missed this'.

"You don't know how long I have wanted, to touch your lips and hold you tight," he picks up where he left off, his voice mixing with the slow rhythm of the guitar, “you don't know how long I have waited, and I was going to tell you tonight--”

Eddie watches, surprised as Steve swiftly gets up from the lounger and walks towards him, his expression determined.

"I think that's my line," Steve whispers as he leans in to cup Eddie's face in his hands and kisses him.

Eddie short-circuits.

The kiss is chaste, short, not much more than the brief press of warm chapped lips against Eddie's own, but the way Steve lets his hands move from Eddie's face to his hair and neck, holding him in place. The way Steve steps into Eddie's space so all he can taste, smell, and feel is Steve.

It’s exhilarating.  

Steve pulls back slightly before placing a second kiss on Eddie's lips, his eyes half lidded and a deep red flush staines his cheeks and ears a bright red. Steve looks much more debauched than necessary and Eddie suddenly wishes they weren't outside, that he could take Steve into the house and show him exactly how sorry he is. 

"I’m sorry, I couldn’t wait, did you learn all of them or just that one?" Steve asks, his voice slightly breathy, he still hasn't let go of Eddie or stepped away.

"Just that one," Eddie repeats dumbly, feeling the urge to walk into the pool again as Steve laughs.

Oh Eddie loves that laugh.

“You sure,” Steve asks again, his eyes crinkle at the sides as he smiles widely, “I thought maybe you could show me some of the other songs you know, inside?”

Either he’s dreaming or Steve is a mind reader because holy shit.

Eddie nods, unable to even form the words as Steve reaches for the amp and gently takes it out of his hands. Steve transfers the amp to his right hand and takes Eddie’s now empty hand with his left as he leads him towards the patio door.

Eddie watches, transfixed, as Steve looks back to shoot him another warm smile as they step over the threshold of the back door, and the words his uncle said earlier in the evening come back to him as Steve leads him towards the living room. 

‘I think a person like that deserves at least a chance to know you, and to see what I see’.

Eddie halts his movement, grabbing Steve’s hand firmly in his own, pulling him backwards until Steve turns, his eyebrows furrowed in wary confusion.

“Thank you, for giving me another chance,” Eddie says softly. He lets the hand holding Steve's own move to trail up and down his arm, eliciting a shiver from Steve. 

“I mean, you gave me one, you came back right?” Steve says softly. 

Eddie's heart twists at the words, he feels his face fall slightly at the thought that Steve could ever think he was somehow at fault for this, “I was an idiot, that wasn’t your fault at all sweetheart”.

Steve looks at him again, his eyes scanning Eddie’s own for what feels like ages, his expression unreadable. 

“Co’mere,” he murmurs eventually, letting go of Eddie to sit on the couch. He pats the cushion beside him, with the same soft smile from earlier, “play some music for me”.

There’s more to unpack here, more to talk about, other apologies to whisper in this beautiful man's ear. 

But for now, he swings his guitar in front of him and slowly walks over to Steve.

Steve asked for music, and who is Eddie not to oblige?

@ihavekidneys @superchellerific @zerokrox-blog @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @croatoan-like-its-hot @messrs-weasley @samcoxramblings @warlordess @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @lostonceandneverfound @shunna @fairytalesreality @estrellami-1 @rlpersephone3259 @zaphodkilledthespeedforce @newtstabber @grtwdsmwhr @uwujinniee @anica-d @imzadidragonfly @orangeandthefairroadkill @starman-jpg @nabatute @goodolefashionedloverboi @wheatnoodle @novacorpsrecruit @lolawonsstuff @redlegumes @paintsplatteredandimperfect @scheodingers-muppet @thephantomhood @0o-queendean-o0 @blackholegladiator @nerdfighteratheart @hallucinatedjosten

(I hope I haven't forgotten anyone, thank you very much for following along with this little story everyone!)

[kirk-says-wah]

May I have a request? James is insecure about the way he looks. His last boyfriend called him ugly.

Lars and Kirk who are dating set James on a blind date with Kirk's friend Jason who just moved into town.

But with James' insecurities, he doesn't want to go. So instead they find another way for them to meet.

And I'll let you come up with the rest.

𝐒𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐂𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐚

Pairings: James/Jason, Kirk/Lars

TW: mentions of past abusive relationship

“What are you saying?”

James knows exactly what they’re saying.

He knew something was up when they asked him over for a few beers, because usually it’s the other way around. He knows they like hanging out with him, but he’s noticed that maybe he’s been a bit too clingy.

“Every time we go out, you always have to tag along, so we’re just finding you someone of your own,” Lars says, crossing a leg over Kirk’s lap.

“Gee, thanks guys,” James mumbles, thumbing at the label of his beer.

“You know we don’t mind you tagging along,” Kirk says, slapping lightly at Lars’ thigh earning him a scowl. “We just want you to be happy. You’ve not been right since-“

Kirk stops himself, glancing back at Lars.

“Well, since last year.”

“You mean since Dave,” James grumbles. He tries not to think about Dave too much. He thought he loved him, that he was his everything, that they were gonna spend the rest of their lives together.

But bit by bit Dave would pick at him, making fun of him, calling him ugly and shit, and James let him for longer than he should’ve. He just believed Dave, believed him when he said he’d never make something of himself, believed him when he’d grab at his belly and call him a pig. He thought he deserved it.

It had taken an intervention from Kirk and Lars for James to realise that what was going on what pretty shit, and he packed his bags and moved into their house until he sorted himself out.

Which he did. He lives by himself in a small flat. Even has a room for his guitars. But he’s lonely. And he can’t keep ruining Kirk and Lars’ dates because he can’t fathom spending the night alone.

“You need a man,” Lars says, sipping at his beer. “And we have the perfect guy.”

James sighs, rubbing at his forehead.

“I don’t know guys.”

“Cmon man, when was the last time you went on a date?”

James pulls a face because Lars knows exactly the answer to that question.

“His name’s Jason,” Kirk says, stroking a hand over Lars’ socked foot sitting in his lap. “He just moved back after helping out his mom. He’s pretty cute.”

Lars shoots a glare at Kirk but Kirk just laughs, bending to kiss Lars’ shoulder. James’ heart feels like it’s shrivelling looking at the two of them be so happy. Maybe they’re right. Maybe he does need someone.

“He’s gonna meet you for dinner tomorrow at eight.”

James blanches. “How do you know I’m gonna be free?”

“Well, what else would you be doing?”

That’s true, but James just sighs, throwing his head back against the couch.

“Fine.”

— —

He doesn’t go to the dinner.

He gets dressed, puts on a nice shirt and wears the shoes that don’t have holes in, even brushes his hair, but by the time he’s done he just feels foolish.

No one is ever gonna like him. Dave’s words replay in his head like a jammed tape reel.

Ugly. Worthless. Pathetic.

He strips off and is in bed by seven. He feels kind of bad for standing the guy up, but his fears have overruled the culpability, and instead he falls asleep.

He’s awoken the next morning to someone shaking him awake, and he snorts a breath, snapping his eyes open only to see Lars standing over him.

Fuck. Shit. Why did he ever give him a key?

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Lars yells, tugging on James’ arm until he’s sitting up.

It takes James a moment to realise what’s going on, and the realisation hits him like a freight train. He just wants to hide and pretend this never happened. He attempts to lie back down but Lars just shakes his head.

“No. No fucking way you’re going back to bed. You’ve got half an hour.”

“Half an hour till what?” James yawns, watching as Lars digs around in his drawers, throwing him some clothes.

“Your date,” Lars says matter of factly. James feels like he’s gonna be sick.

“What?”

“What? Did you think I’d let you pass this good opportunity?” Lars says, throwing a deodorant can at him. “Jason’s a really good guy. You’d really like him.”

“What do you know?” James grumbles, still not bothering to get changed.

Lars sighs, stopping his flurry of emotions and turns to look at James.

“Because I know you. Better than you know yourself apparently. And I know you self sabotaged because you’re scared.”

James’ eyes drop, his ears burning. He really doesn’t need to hear this right now. He’s not a fucking pussy.

“Just, meet him. Spend some time with him. If it turns out you’re not ready or you don’t like him or whatever, you can end it. But I just want you to give him a chance,” Lars says.

James thinks for a moment, but ultimately agrees. He has been alone for a while, and he guesses it would be nice to talk to someone outside of Kirk and Lars.

He gets dressed quickly, glad that Lars has made him a coffee by the time he gets downstairs, and within fifteen minutes they’re out the door.

“Where are we going?” James asks, feeling a little uncomfortable. Maybe he isn’t dressed up enough, or he’s too dressed up. What if this guy doesn’t even like him? Or sees him and leaves?

“It’s a little cafe. Me and Kirk have taken you there before,” Lars says. So he’s talking about one of those times he and Kirk wanted to go on a date but James just had to tag along because he doesn’t know boundaries. Figures.

“And where will you be?” James asks, though he hopes it doesn’t sound as anxious as he feels. He’d just feel a lot better if Lars was somewhere nearby so he can come to his rescue if needed. Sure, he’s a big boy, but sometimes he just needs that extra support from his friends.

Reading his mind, Lars says, “Kirk’s meeting me there, and we’re gonna sit outside out the way.”

Still close enough that James can get to them if he needs to. With an escape plan hatched, he feels a lot better, and eventually they pull up at the little cafe.

It’s got orange walls and a wooden interior, like it’s being opened in the 70s, but the atmosphere is chilled. They find Kirk waiting out front, instantly pecking Lars’ lips.

“He’s just inside,” Kirk says, nudging James arm. “He’s like the only one in there. You won’t miss him.”

James just blinks, swallowing thickly, his feet cemented to the floor.

“Go on,” Lars says, urging James forwards. “We’ll be right here.”

James takes in a shuddering breath, and finally enters the cafe.

Kirk was right, it is pretty dead in there, with only a middle aged man sat at the counter and too old grannies in the corner.

But by the window is a young guy, about James’ age, long wavy hair flowing over his shoulders, dressed in a ratty metal tshirt matching James’ own.

James hadn’t realised he was staring at him until two blue eyes meet his own, and a soft smile lures James closer.

“You must be James,” Jason says, gesturing to the seat opposite him.

James smiles meekly, feeling way out of his depth, and nods. “You must be Jason.”

“I’ve heard a lot of things about you,” Jason says, grinning, and that at least makes James laugh.

“Knowing Kirk, it’s probably not good things.”

“Well, he said you were pretty cute, and I think that checks out,” Jason says, eyes watching the flush that creeps up James’ cheeks.

James smiles bashfully, looking down. Jason’s gaze is soft but endearing, like looking at a sunset or a box of kittens. He looks like he actually likes James. And James doesn’t really know how to take that.

“Err- Kirk said you just moved back,” he says, trying to keep up the conversation.

“Yeah,” Jason says, nodding. “My dad died a few months back so I was just helping her sort stuff out.”

“Oh fuck,” James mumbles, feeling like he’s stepped his foot in it. “I’m sorry man.”

Jason just waves him off. “Don’t worry about it. It’s fine. So how long have you been living in San Francisco?”

James’ cheeks burn but he clears his throat.

“All my life. I was born in Downey.”

“Oh so not far then,” Jason says, before shifting a little. “Hey, uh, do you want a drink?”

They sit down with their drinks and chat for what feels like hours. James finds out Jason plays the bass and he works at a small tech company across the bridge and he has a cat. Jason genuinely seems interested in what James has to say, and James finds himself opening up more as time goes on.

It’s been about an hour when he catches movement from the corner of his eye, and he flicks his attention out the window to see Kirk and Lars twisting their thumbs up and down, asking if it’s going well. He sends them a discreet glare which just causes Lars to laugh so loud James can hear it from inside.

“Are they bugging you?” Jason asks, smirking.

“They’re just concerned.”

“What? Do they think I’m gonna kidnap you or something?” Jason snickers.

James just smiles, shaking his head, a pool of melancholy dispersing in his bones.

“No, nothing like that.”

Jason’s eyes travel over him, just watching him, and James blushes, ducks his head.

“You’re so beautiful,” Jason murmurs, reaching over the table to grab one of James’ hands. His fingers are soft as they encircle James’, but James can’t help but feel embarrassed. He doesn’t believe him, and he doesn’t want his pity.

“I’m serious,” Jason says, squeezing his hand, obviously sensing the change in emotions.

“I don’t need pity,” James grumbles, but Jason just frowns.

“I’m not pitying you. I’m telling the truth. Maybe one day you’ll let me show you just how pretty you are.”

James swallows thickly, heat searing up his veins, the notion of Jason’s words making his thoughts turn off and his tongue lie dormant.

Jason smirks.

“Can I kiss you?”

James meets his eyes, sees the affection there, and finally lets his walls break down.

“Please.”

[watermelonlovershigh]

Maybe them discussing being attracted to someone? Or like a gossip-y thing where they talk about what celebrities they have crushes on or whatever. Or three some fantasies. Or like Harry with a bi flag at a show or something.

💖💜💙

AN: thank you anon for the wonderful ideas. i incorporated a few into this little blurb and i hope you like it.

This story contains: mild smut, mentions of boobs, mentions of sub/dom relationships, fluff, not much dialogue

{ boyfriend!harry - softrry - bi!reader - have been dating for over a year }

word count: 796

What it's like being with Harry as a bisexual women.

You told Harry you were bisexual about six months into dating and it's been the most liberating feeling ever since. Where before you were cautious about what you said around him so you didn't accidently out yourself, now you can share your thoughts freely.

Though you knew he'd support you, it's still a scary thing to come out to someone you love so dearly.

When you and Harry are watching a film together on his couch, you'll blurt out, "Fuck, her tits are nice." in reference to the actress on the screen.

Harry will try and act offended by replying with something like, "Hey..."

And you'll say back, "What? There's no denying her boobs are gorgeous."

Harry will laugh and retort, "Alright, her tits are very pretty but I'd rather not think about another woman's breasts will I have the best pair right beside me." Referring to your boobs that he loves so much.

He's also been the most supportive partner as well. At least in one part of every concert he'll find a way to hold up the bi flag. Of course he still holds up the rainbow flag which represents all labels under the queer umbrella, but just something about him holding the bisexual flag makes you so happy.

And his fans most likely know why he's so adamant about holding the bi flag because you have now mentioned publicly you're bisexual. Though some still speculate if it's Harry's way of giving clues to his own sexuality when he's stated himself he'd rather go unlabeled. Not really feeling either straight or gay or anything in between.

Not just on stage is he supportive though. This year he took you to your first pride parade. He never had a reason to go before dating you because his sexuality is quite complicated and it never seemed fitting enough to go. But now, you give him a reason to go. To go to a parade where all lgbtqia is welcome.

Harry dressed in more general rainbow clothes so no one got the wrong idea about his personal identity while you dressed in the bisexual colors. But he did wave the bisexual flag with you, up and down the streets at the pride parade in LA.

Not only do you share your attractiveness to beautiful women parts and have a very supportive boyfriend, you also talk about your past relationships. More so you though because Harry would rather forget all of his. Now that you're out to Harry, you share the differences you notice being in a relationship with a guy verses when you dated a women.

The biggest difference for you personally is being dominant with men and submissive with women. You don't know what it is but when your ex girlfriends would call you "baby girl" and push and tug you around during sex, you became mush. Now being with Harry, you have this urge to take control and watch him be all helpless during sex. Which Harry has no problem with because he's always been secretly submissive.

A non sexual difference you can spot is the way the bed smells after a nights sleep. When you shared a bed with your ex girlfriend, the bed would smell of flowers and her apple scented shampoo. With Harry, his bed in the mornings smells more musky and dare you say, manly. Both have their pros and cons but you will say the more manly scent turns you on easier.

Lastly, you try and act all confident in your bisexuality but reality is, you still have insecurities and fears. So you'll often ask Harry, "You promise you don't get scared I'll leave you for a women?"

And Harry will reply, "Why on earth would I need that fear? Is there somethin' I need to know?" That last part is said in a joking tone.

You'll shake your head no and then respond with, "No, it's just, people online keep saying you should be scared I'll leave you for a women and..... and I want you to know you don't have to worry. My attraction to women has nothing to do with my attraction and love for you. Straight people still know they like the opposite gender while being with the opposite gender so it's no different than me knowing I like the same gender while being with the opposite gender."

Harry leans down and whispers near your mouth, "I know, m'love. I know you love me and I've never doubted that for a second. I love that you embrace your sexuality and don't shy away from expressing your feelings when it correlates to your sexuality. Makes me love you even more if I'm honest." Then leans in an inch or two to fully connect his lips with yours.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT’S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ) )

tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @japanchrry // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @itfeelslikemytherapisthatesme // @damnasstyles  // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet  // @meetmyblondemuffins  // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles  // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles  // @skyangel57   // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss  // @kissmyaxe140  // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore1 // @florencepughily  // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom  // @swiftmendeshoran

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______________

My Masterlist Masterpost

[scoops-stevie-archive]

strawberry wine

piggybacking off this post now on ao3

The kitchen's dark, save for the light above the sink. Steve is elbow deep in soapy dish water when the radio on the china hutch behind him clicks on, a soft country ballad trickling into the quiet space. Arms wrap around his waist and Steve huffs a laugh as he reaches for the dish rag to dry his hands.

He turns in Eddie's arms and is met with an expression that's so open and full of love. It still catches Steve off guard sometimes, still not used to being loved by someone who proudly shows all of his emotions on his sleeve.

Eddie takes Steve's hand in his as they sway in the dim light. Steve buries his face in Eddie's shoulder and closes his eyes, letting him take the lead.

I still remember When thirty was old My biggest fear was September When he had to go

The lyrics are like an arrow in Steve's stomach. He grips Eddie's shoulder tighter and presses closer to him as they continue to sway in the slow circle. Eddie just rubs a soothing hand up and down his back.

A few cards and letters And one long distance call We drifted away Like the leaves in the fall

Doesn't mention the tears seeping through his shirt or the way Steve's shoulders wrack with silent sobs. Eddie presses a kiss above his hair and holds him tighter while he croons softly.

Strawberry wine and seventeen The hot July moon, saw everything My first taste of love Whoa, bittersweet

"I don't want you to go," Steve admits against his shoulder, feeling a bit like a child throwing a tantrum. He thinks he's allowed to be a little selfish when it feels like his whole world is being ripped away from him.

Robin's transferring her community college credits to a state school after her gap year ends and the kids are a month away from graduation and starting their own college journeys.

Corroded Coffin's been noticed. Their gigs at The Hideout have been growing ever since Eddie's name was cleared and the murder charges were dropped and there was an actual scout at their last one. Talked to the band and showed them a pretty picture of fame and fortune.

And a way out of this cursed town.

And Steve? Steve has no idea where he's headed in life. He gave college a try three separate times after Vecna and dropped out each time after a semester. Too stupid to understand what his professors were talking about and unable to keep up with the workload while also working full time.

What good is he if the world isn't ending? If he isn't being the protector, the body they need when shit goes sideways (it always goes sideways.) His parents were at least kind enough to pay off the mortgage and cover the utilities for at least a year before they fucked off to God knows where, but once that's up? Family Video only pays so much and he's definitely not being paid to drive the brats around every weekend.

"I know," Eddie says, because they've already talked about it. The band's been invited up to Chicago to meet with label executives next month to let them hear some samples of their music, and that means the possibility of signing a contract and finally getting their big break.

Steve is so, so proud of him.

He's also so, so lost.

They've stopped dancing. Eddie is still running his fingertips along his spine comfortingly. Steve sniffs and pulls back just enough to look at him. His boyfriend has opted for a flannel over a band t-shirt today. Steve fiddles with the collar and doesn't meet Eddie's concerned eyes.

"But you have to go." He sounds like he's trying to convince himself. "I can't hold you back from something you've waited your whole life for." He gives Eddie a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "Corroded Coffin is your baby."

Eddie cups his face and frowns. "You'll always come first, you know that, right? Even if I'm on the other side of the world, as soon as you say the word, I'll come right back to you."

Steve does know that, and it scares the absolute shit out of him. Being loved so completely and unconditionally. It's been almost three years and he's ashamed to admit he's still waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Eddie to wake up and realize he could do so much better than a washed-up has-been who peaked in high school.

For him to realize that Steve Harrington isn't actually a good dude after all.

But he wants this thing with Eddie to last longer than three years. He wants forever with him and he can only hope that Eddie wants the same. So he swallows down his insecurities and self doubt and leans into Eddie's space, pressing their noses together and taking the lead of the dance this time.

"I promise not to call too often, then."

[disneyanddisneyships]

Sending an ask about mal seeing aponi on stage during an interview with Val and fiding out she's in hell

I hope I do Mal justice-

Warnings: mentions of bl*wjobs, r@pe, hell

Mal sighed as she held up the flyer in her hand to match the photo to the club in front of her.

She had died only a few days ago, and she had to find a job.

Everything was incredibly expensive down here. (Go figure)

This was the best job she could possibly find.

A performer at a strip club.

Not the most wanted choice, but the only choice she had. She always loved singing and dancing. It's what she and her former best friend used to do before they parted ways.

Mal walked into the club, the lights almost blinding her.

She made her way to the main box, seeing the sign on the door labeled "Valentino".

She knocked on the door.

"Come in," a snake-like voice spoke from the other end.

Mal raised an eyebrow as she walked in only for her eyes to widen and her head to turn away from the scene playing out in front of her.

"That'll be all, Angel," the voice stated.

The demon who had been sucking valentino off stood up and walked out of the room, paying Mal a comforting smile before closing the door.

"Who are you?" Valentino asked as he took a sip of wine.

"Uh.... My name is Mal.... I saw the flyer that stated you needed performers," Mal stated as she shifted uncomfortably.

"Ahhh yes.... I had forgotten about those.... come and sit down, Mal. One of my performers is about to start," Valentino replied.

Mal took a breath and walked over to where Valentino sat before taking a seat herself.

The lighting turned orange and music started before Valentino began to speak.

"So, beautiful. What makes you want a job down here?" Valentino asked as he crossed his legs and leaned backwards in his seat.

"Well um.... I like to dance and sing, and this is the closest I could get down here," Mal replied. "In fact in my life, my best friend-" Mal stopped talking as she caught a glimpse of the singer on stage.

Lilly?

"What were you saying?" Valentino asked as he rolled his eyes, his patience growing thin.

"Who.... who is she?" Mal asked as she tilted her head, attempting to get a better look at the singer.

Valentino looked at his performer before smiling slyly. "Her name is Aponi... of course not her real name, but she's only told one other demon about that. She came to us almost a year ago. Poor thing was incredibly quiet. Traumatized. She has little to no sex appeal, but her voice is what drew me to hiring her," he explained.

Mal's eyes traveled the floorboards as she tried to figure out if this so called "aponi" was who Mal thought she was.

"Am I hired?" Mal asked as she looked at the finishing performance.

Valentino raised an eyebrow. "I suppose so. You start today. I'll have Elise show you everything," he stated before ringing a bell.

A red succubus demon walked into the door and Mal stood up, following her out.

......

Mal walked through the back of the room until she found the dressing room with a sign labeled "Aponi".

She pulled back the curtain to find the person she was looking for.

"Lilly?"

Aponi looked up from what she was doing, seeing a figure in the mirror and turning around.

"Mal?" She asked, her eyes wide.

Aponi stood up quickly before the two girls hugged each other.

Aponi pulled away after a few moments

"How long have you been in hell? How did you find me?" Aponi asked.

"Forget all that, why the fuck are YOU in hell?!?!" Mal asked as she looked at her old friend up and down.

"Shit happens," Aponi replied. "Do you work for Valentino now?" She asked.

"I didn't have a choice.. but why the hell is my, very Christian friend, working at a strip club?" Mal asked.

"I didn't have a choice either.... i-... I can't believe you're here!" Aponi stated with a relieved smile.

"Me? What about you! I mean.... you have.. BOOBS now.... and the markings! And what happened to your other eye?" Mal asked.

"I- ha... yeah.. new body new colors I guess... new me..." Aponi replied.

"Why are you down here?" Mal asked, sensing some sadness in Aponi's mood.

"Uh..... Jason.... Jason raped me.... while I was uh.. pregnant and... I couldn't take the shame of it so I uh...." Aponi trailed off before pulling down her choker to reveal the rope burns that got transferred over from life.

"He.... he WHAT?!" Mal asked, pure anger in her voice.

"It was a year ago. Im... doing better now I guess...." Aponi replied with a small smile.

[minthe-lover]

Chapter Analysis 219

I have extremely mixed feelings on this chapter, on one hand I fully hate Daphne and eros but I do like persephone showing some sort of lasting trauma in relation to the sexual assault sort of, I'll get into that later.

Now Eros has crossed over from annoyingly loveable to just.. annoying.

Now this chapter has by far the dumbest fucking thing that rs has ever done in relation to the time skip. Eros and psyches relationship is the second biggest and most important after persephone and hades, it was set up in one of the first chapters.. and rs decided to have them get married OFF SCREEN.

I don't care if your a fan of lore olympus this is objectively a terrible fucking choice. You don't have big important steps in a relationship happen off screen.. and then don't fucking show us any of it???? Like even in the few panels we have we just get a boring shot of eros in the suit, and then him being 'tired'. WE DON'T EVEN SEE PSYCHE.

why did rs think this was a good idea???? is so easy to fit to! just have eros about to get married have him invite persephone!! Out of all the freaken chapters to not have a flash back why are you having it be the most fucking important part of eros story.. like holy shit.

Next is gonna be covering... just all the stuff. My main annoyance is where Lore Olympus, self labeled 'deconstruction of purity culture' mainly only presents sex itself as a sexual option. We have all these comedic panels of Persephone saying how horny she is.. but we have no mention of masturbation? Like come on.. ya got the masturbating with the hades tree joke right there-

Instead you just get general "Oh I wish I could have sex!" jokes that feel.. really bland. They don't feel creative to the world, the closet we is the five years one. All of them could be said by any character in any story and it would be alright... it's just boring...

Now tied to the whole sexual assault plot line and this episode, it's sort of like half way done alright. While it's shown that her worried is partly effected by her assault but most of it is just general worry that hades doesn't want to have sex with her. she talks more about worry that hades isn't horny for her but nothing to do with a fear of the sex itself.

Also again I do like that the sexual assault is brought up.. but it's done so gently. Its supposed to be this big heavy thing but it's brought up passively and moved on from so quicky

Her worried are more with hades feelings and his interest in her, instead of her comfortablity with sex itself. Now as for hades nervousness.. I don't mind it, I like that lore olympus is showing a man being nervous to have sex. Alot of media does portray men as always 100% ready and okay with sex.. though I'm very cautious with how rs will write this... I'm very very worried about how it's gonna be handled.

Also they all talk like highschoolers, like rs you are allowed to swear right? you can say dick.. you've said dick before. why is persephone talking like a highschooler that just dry humped someone for the first time.

Now daphne and eros and.. very bad friends. They bring up sex first when they both know that persephone had been raped.. and continue to talk about it after Persephone expresses discomfort. If you didn't want to pressure or rush Persephone then why did you fucking faint when she brought up not having sex.

The closest they get to be somewhat decent is with Daphne mentioning that she should go to therapy and communicate with hades. It's the closest thing that they get to being a good friend... cause yeah persephone desperately need more then a single therapy session.

also like... why.. why the fuck is apollo running for president???? Like there has been no level of democracy in this whole goddamn story and now it's supposed to be this big element to it? Also I've said this before.. rs.. please please do not write it so that the people who vote for apollo are terrible/stupid etc etc.

Now I just.. really hate the art in this chapter, it's nothing terrible it's just.. boring. It's three pink characters talking to each other in a pink background with nothing else to it. It's boring and just awkwardly blends into each other and doesn't really work well. Plus with persephone and daphne being in the same chapter there is just so many awkward boob anatomy and ones that look like their about to pop out.

[sapphire-weapon]

oof yeah, i don't claim to be an expert in og, especially not having played the game or experienced the fandom, so i definitely stand corrected that og leon and ashley's connection wasn't as profound. i'll concede that my take on it was through a retroactive lens — i know ashley disappears from the franchise post-re4, and my interpretation of the og game is shaped by that knowledge

either way, it definitely sucks that she had to pretty much be erased from the narrative because of negative fan reaction, but i'm very glad they were willing to take another shot at bringing her back. so far fan reaction this time for ashley has been pretty overwhelmingly positive, so i definitely hope that we get to see her again in some capacity, or at least be name-dropped as a reminder that she still exists

(still trying to manifest the whole "leon wears ashley's necklace as a memento" deal that you touched on)

Dude, I laughed so fucking hard when Infinite Darkness showed that photo of Ashley, because it was like... IT WAS SO FUCKING OBVIOUS that Capcom dropped that in there to just be like "hey guys... we're releasing RE4 Remake soon... I want you to remember she exists before we release it so that you get your rage out now, ok????"

I bet it was a real relief for Capcom execs when the fanbase basically had a non-reaction to her in ID. I feel like I was the only person who even mentioned it at all when ID came out LMAO

BUT ANYWAY FUCK ALL THAT SHIT I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE NECKLACE THING AGAIN

It never goes away. Even years later, he's still wearing it.

He only takes it off to shower -- and even then, not always. It comes with him on every mission, just tucked away behind the neckline of his shirt for good luck (and the physical reminder of the girl he saved who still thinks the world of him).

Ashley's heart swells every time she opens the buttons of his shirt and finds that little dove still sitting there right below the hollow of Leon's neck. And of course he wears it when he fucks her aRE YOU KIDDING ME OF COURSE HE DOES

If it ever slips out from under his shirt and out into the open, he won't talk about it -- because it's nobody's fucking business. Even if someone asks him, "Is that your girlfriend's?" he just answers with "I don't have a girlfriend." and refuses to say anything more.

And he's not lying. That's not what Ashley is. If she was his girlfriend, he'd probably talk to her way more often than once every few weeks, and he'd definitely see her more often than a handful of times a year -- if that.

But he refuses to put a label on their relationship, because he knows that if he tries to, his thoughts will inevitably brush up against the L-word, and that's not something he can afford to feel. Not in his line of work.

And he especially can't wonder if she feels the same way back, because if she did, it would suddenly become a whole lot harder for him to justify throwing himself at near-certain death on a regular basis. At least for now, he still needs to be expendable.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Long complex story about the failure of bureaucracy in my new apartment complex.

I've been living at home with my parents since graduating, and I've spent all of 2023 saving up so I could move out and get my own apartment. Last month, I found a cheap complex that my younger sisters used to live in, and they said it was really nice, so I took a virtual tour, liked what I saw, and signed the lease. I was assigned to a smaller bedroom in a 4x4 unit (so it would be me and three other roommates), to move in on September 1st. My assigned room was C. When I got there to collect my keys, the kid at the leasing office gave me the keys for room B, which is a bigger room with a walk-in closet. I asked him then and there if he was making a mistake, because my lease says C and the paperwork they gave me to fill out to make sure the room was clean said C, but the keys said B. He told me without a moment's hesitation that B and C were the same exact room, and that there was no problem. The very next sentence out of his mouth was that the keys were actually for room C all along, because that's what my lease said, so the baggy they came in must have been mislabeled. Fine. Sure. Whatever. I get my keys, and I go to move in. They tell me that there's only one other guy in there right now, but the other two rooms will be rented soon.

Friday the 1st. When I open the door, I find my roommate hunched over the kitchen counter staring at his phone, sniffling heavily, in complete darkness. I say hello, he doesn't say anything. I go to shake his hand to introduce myself, he doesn't tell me his name, he grabs my hand with his thumb and index finger and jiggles it slightly before going back to whatever he was doing. Real loner vibes, looks like a school shooter, scrawny white guy, disheveled, patchy unshaven goatee, "he was so quiet, you never would have guessed." I'll keep my eyes on him, but I'm sure he's harmless, just weird. So, I use the keys I was given to move into room C. None of the rooms are labeled, I just had to try doors until I found the right one, and yeah, it was the bigger room B, not C. It's the start of Labor Day Weekend, a bunch of new people are still moving in, so the office never responds to any of my calls or emails. Oh well. Their mistake. Not my problem.

I go to buy some groceries, and I notice that the kitchen is absolutely disgusting. Swarming with roaches! Mold on every fixture! The microwave is ORANGE! I am appalled, but the office is too busy to get a hold of, so I tell myself I'll have to deal with it after the holiday.

Saturday the 2nd. I don't see roomie all day, but I feel his presence. He hides in his room whenever he hears me approaching, and turns off all the lights that I leave on for any reason (if I just left a room to get something and will be back in a few seconds, he still darts out and turns them off). I do eventually encounter him, like sasquatch, and I ask him if he's noticed the roaches. All he says is "yeah." I asked him his name, and he tells me Darmok, like Star Trek: The Next Generation, "Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra." I don't mention Star Trek, but I ask again to confirm that he said Darmok. Turns out I misheard him; what he said was Tomahawk, his real name is Tom Hawkins. Okay. I asked him how long he's been living in this unit (he has room A, right next to mine). Most leases start in August for the new school semester, but I moved in a month late because I'm not a student, so I assumed he had moved in a few weeks before me, but no, he's been here for years. The apartment has been swarming with bugs for who even knows how long, and he never did anything about it. I asked him when's the last time he cleaned the kitchen, and he said he didn't remember. He then told me that "we never really did that sort of thing," "we" being him and his former roommates. They NEVER cleaned the kitchen?!? No fucking wonder it's disgusting!

I can't live like this, so I buy a can of Raid and start spraying. All the cabinets are full of pots and pans with roaches crawling all over them, and Tom (I do not want to call him Tomahawk) says they're not his, so he's not going to clean them or put them away when I'm done. I let the Raid sit for a few hours, and then I start sweeping up 30 or 40 roach carcasses. Another few hours later I go to put the stuff back the way it was, but I see even more roaches scurrying around who haven't gotten the memo yet, so I put it off until the morning.

Sunday the 3rd. The leasing office is closed on Sundays, so there's nothing to do but wait. I hurt my knees and back putting together a bookshelf by myself, I went to dinner with my sisters and encountered an ex-girlfriend (long story for another time), it's just an unpleasant day all around.

Monday the 4th. Labor Day, the office is closed for the holiday, so there's still nothing to do but wait. The counters are stil cluttered with dishes because Tom doesn't mind living in filth, so I decide to leave him to it. The roaches still aren't dead, so I buy a mini fridge and move all my food into my bedroom. I'll go out there to use the oven, but from now on my food has to be shelf stable and fit in one-gallon freezer bags. I've spent the last three days getting my room set up exactly the way I like it, all my chotchkies put away in a cubby, all my books sorted and shelved, my clothes hung, my wifi set up, boxes broken down and decluttered, absolutely perfect. I've finally moved in and gotten into the flow of things. Surely nothing can go wrong!

Tuesday the 5th, this very morning. I finally go to the front office in person to complain about the roaches and they say that the pest control guy will swing by tomorrow to deal with it professionally. I also give them back the tenant sign-in form they gave me on the 1st; I went around the whole apartment and made notes of every maintenance issue so they wouldn't blame me for it when I move out next summer. My bedroom was filthy, full of garbage and hair and toenail clippings. The previous tenant didn't clean it, and neither did the maintenance people, so I had to clean it myself after moving in. Gross. Well, a few minutes later the maintenance guys show up at the apartment and start cleaning room C across the hall, the empty room that I was supposed to be in, and I tell them that I'm actually in room B because the office made a mistake. They say their job is to clean C, not B, so I go back to the office to clarify.

I figured they gave me the wrong key when I moved in, but the guy told me it was no big deal. Turns out he was an idiot. Everyone working here is an idiot. It's staffed entirely by students who don't know what they're doing and have zero customer service experience (they haven't had their souls crushed yet; I know what it's like to have this kind of job, so I can't get mad at them, but now I understand boomers...) This kid, a different kid than the one who helped me on the 1st, says that I have move into C like I was supposed to. I'm already settled in B so I ask if there's any way I can stay there, and he says no, somebody has already rented B with the walk-in closet, so I am required to move. Okay, fine, whatever. I ask him to give me the keys to C so I can move my stuff over, and he tells me I'm not allowed to have both the keys to B and C at the same time. I need to give back the keys to B before he'll give me the keys to C, but I locked my bedroom door when I left the apartment because I don't trust Tom or the maintenance guys, so I tell him that I still need the B key to get my stuff. This blows his mind and he tries to explain that I can just leave the door open, but I tell him that it's already closed and locked, so I need the key to unlock it, then I need the C key so I can unlock that room and schlep my stuff from B to C. This shorts his brain, "steel is heavier than feathers,"

ERROR: DOES NOT COMPUTE

It's like talking to a brick wall. I eventually convince him to let me have both sets of keys so I can go over and begin the process of packing up my stuff and dragging it 30 feet to a smaller room.

Well, wouldn't you know it, room C is fucking disgusting too. Stains in the bathroom, fingerprints all over the mirrored closet door, and inside the closet there's a big cobwebby hole in the ceiling surrounded by water damage. I refuse to move in there, so I march back to the office AGAIN to complain. The kid tells me that maintenance will fix it "real quick," but I don't want a "real quick" fix. This is not a "real quick" problem. This is a major structural problem, and just spackling over it and repainting isn't gonna cut it. I ask to speak to a manager, and of course there's no one but students available today, so I ask to speak to whoever is currently in charge of leases to see what can be done. They fucked up, so I'm not gonna be the one to pay for their mistake. I want to either stay in room B where i'm already situated, or I want to move to an entirely new apartment, because this is not acceptable.

Well, if you can imagine it, things got worse! They start telling me that I violated my lease by "breaking" into the wrong room, and I insist that I was given these keys, they can check the fucking cameras if they want. I explain everything that happened to some desk jockey who clearly doesn't care, and all I manage to do is confuse her. She keeps asking me which room I'm in, which one I'm supposed to be in, which keys I have, where my stuff is, it's like Abbott and Costello, who's in B, what's in C, roach's on third. She starts looking something up on a computer, and we get to the crux of the problem when she calls me Adam. That is not my name. My name is Milo. Adam is apparently a completely unrelated third guy who is supposed to move into B, but because I am currently residing in room B, they looked up the guy who is assigned to B and completely ignored the part where I told them my name and that I was supposed to be in C. Brick wall, people. None of these people have anything going on behind their eyes, not a single braincell between the lot of them.

I explain one more time that my name is Milo, I was assigned to room C, I was given the keys to room B, I want to stay in B because C is gross. If I can't stay in B, I want to move to a new apartment that isn't gross. This was their mistake, not mine. What's gonna happen now, lady? You tell me.

Well, she up and walks away from her desk. Doesn't tell me why, doesn't tell me where she's going or when she'll be back, she just says "hold on," and leaves. There are no chairs in her cubicle besides the one at her desk, so I can't even sit down while I wait. I'm stewing over this, I start texting friends and family about the ridiculousness of it all, and after fifteen minutes she comes back with my file, my lease, and says that I can stay in B or move to C, it's my choice. I ask to stay in B, but I know that B is more expensive because it's bigger and has a walk-in closet, but she says they will waive the price difference. I did not get that in writing, so I'll have to email them to confirm. The point is that I don't have to move. I can stay where I'm situated, and even if they boost my rent it's only a 10 or 15 dollar difference per month, I'd have been okay with that if they had told me that from the start. I like the walk-in closet. I like that the bed doesn't take up 90% of the floor space like it does in C. There was no room for my fridge and bookshelf and boxes in C, so this worked out for the best.

I now need to confirm that my lease has been updated to reflect this change. I am in room B, and my rent should be the same price as I paid for C on the 1st. Tomorrow, Wednesday the 6th, the pest control guy will come and clear the kitchen of roaches. I am 90% sure the pots and pans didn't come with the apartment because they're all mismatched sizes and brands, so if they're not Tom's and they're not communal then they belonged to a previous tenant and I'm going to throw them away. I am hesitant to move anything back into the kitchen even after they spray and clean up the carcasses, and if the other two rooms in this unit get rented out there will be even more people to deal with, so things still aren't 100% peachy.

Oh, I forgot to mention. On the 1st, I opened every appliance to check the state of things. Fridge was mostly empty, microwave was gross, and the dishwasher was full of what I assume were Tom's dishes. Well, last night I opened the dishwasher again because I have a box full of dishes I need to clean before I find a place for them, and it was full of the exact same dishes as Friday, and on closer inspection it turns out they're filthy! All the cups and bowls are upright and full of grey water that has a film on it. Tom is the only person still in the apartment, so these must be his or else the previous tenant left the dishwasher full of shit when they moved out in July and Tom has just been living like this ever since. What the fuck? And the pots and pans are still cluttering the counter, so I had to begrudgingly put them away myself. I didn't see any more roaches scurrying around, but I know they're there. I am going to contact the office to let them know that Tom is living in filth and making it my problem. I'm not going to do these dishes for him, but I can't not have access to an appliance I'm paying for. It's not fair to me that I'm stuck cleaning up someone else's mess because the apartment managers are fucking flakes. I read my whole lease before signing, and one of the clauses says that you're responsible for cleaning the apartment before you leave; it specifies that you have to provide proof that you hired a professional clearner or the maintenance guy will charge you an arm and a leg to clean it himself, but the previous tenant didn't clean shit and neither did the maintenance guy. They violated the lease, and if they don't fix it to my satisfaction I will take legal action (who am I kidding, I have no money for that...)

[webslingingslasher]

hi :') i see that people come here to vent n stuff so i want to do the same if that's okay. it's long, so you don't have to reply to this immediately, or at all!

okay, i have 2 best friends and we've been close since high school so it's been like Years (we're a trio and we're all in uni now). i'll label them as bff1 & bff2. bff1 invited bff2 and i to sleepover, and later on, bff1 invited our friend group from high school for a dinner/party at her house (bc we were all classmates but the 3 of us are rly a trio) and yeah, bff2 & i went, and 2 out of 7 from our friend group went, and so did bff1's cousins and their friends. we all had dinner and we were drinking as well. i didn't drink much bc i'm a lightweight lol but everyone else was drunk.

we were pretty much catching up until the whole night turned to them trash talking our other friends from our friend group (which were invited by bff1 btw but they weren't able to go...). i was just listening bc i rly didn't have any dirt on anyone, and even if i did, i don't care so much to need to tell people abt it 😭 everyone thought it was okay but idk it just threw me off... it's one thing to talk abt life and ur preferences n shit but to talk abt ur friends to ur other friends AND to ppl u just met??? fucking bitches fr..

the worst part is, AFTER all that shit talking, they video called our whole friend group gc and when one of them answered (aka one of the ppl they talked shit about, including her bf and their relationship tgt bc they, esp bff2, think their dynamic and even the way they dress is weird), bff2 was telling her "u should've come here!!!" ??? GIRL..... PLASTIC AS FUCK.... i just know that if i didn't go, they would have taken that opportunity to talk shit abt me too 😭 it's one thing to have an opinion and hate or dislike smth and to have preferences, but to be SO bothered to the point u talk shit, esp abt ur own friend AND EVEN HER BF (which is actually nice btw) to ur mutual friends and other ppl is another... like, ok we all judge, but why do u care so much to talk so much shit LMFAO... ik we were having dinner and we were drinking and having fun, but omg that's just fucking mean...

but that's not all of it, bc later on, bff1 & bff2 mentioned that they did talk shit abt me before, and they mentioned it at the dinner/party in front of everyone thinking it was okay like omfg.. i didn't even ask if they said anything abt me back then, they just straight up brought it up😭 it was about when i liked a guy a few months ago and we were talking abt him at the dinner/party, that's how they brought up that they were talking abt me to each other... yk talking stage w ur crush will get u twirling ur hair n swinging ur feet, and i'd tell the 2 of them "guys pls i'm delusional" as a joke when i update them abt it. we all say that about ourselves and to each other btw even when it comes to our celeb/fictional crushes when we're gushing over them... but anw they were telling each other "oh my god she's so delusional!" and they demonstrated it to everyone with rolling eyes... like... okay, i know? and even if we're open about it, why talk about me when i'm not there if ur just saying the same thing anyway?? just bc u can say it to my face doesn't mean it's okay to do it behind my back?? bc that's Entirely different. and what's the need for it anyway when u know you can tell me?? 😭 i mean, ik they didn't rly like him bc he was sus but still? and later on, back when i eventually found out that he's just not it, bff1 was like "so i was right..." like, okay?? is that something ur proud of? dude i mean sure, ur right, i'm not gonna deny that. but u gotta let me figure my own shit out on my own pace😭 like, i never even berate them or talk shit abt them to either one of them when they have their crushes or when it comes to their vices or flaws... i just let them do their own thing and if smth good or bad happens, i make sure that i'm there for them. but they were rly being bitches abt it... ik they just wanted the best for me, but that's just not it. i don't even know what else they said abt me bc they only mentioned the "omg she's so delusional" part of their conversation😭 but i'm sure they definitely said other things...

rmr in the all too well 10min version mv, that shot of when sadie was trying to just smile on her 21st bday in front of her cake and while everyone else at the table were having fun, but deep down she was sad.. i literally had that moment... i rly just sat there in silence while everyone else was having fun bitching abt our other friends.. i just smiled and went along w everything but deep down i was realizing how 2 of my bffs and the rest of my friends were people i can't trust anymore. they rly just don't know how to mind their own business and let people be... i alr knew that my friends have the hater personality (esp bff2 jesus christ) but this was like the meanest i've seen them bc they rly went all out with the way they talked shit, and it involved me this time.

i'm honestly more pissed than hurt. i couldn't bring up the issue during the moment bc i didn't want to cause a scene in bff1's house and in front of her cousins, and i was going to sleepover there with bff2 after the dinner/party, plus her parents live there too and they allowed us to sleepover, so no... i'm going to confront them for sure one day but tbh idk how exactly lol.. i don't want to end up fighting bc we were rly good together but ugh... i don't even trust them enough anymore to feel like we'll be fine if we talk about this... ngl i feel like they'll be defensive😭 but whatever i guess. if they do get defensive and just not admit and apologize for how wrong that was, i guess it's the end, bc i cannot tolerate a friendship like that. i literally just want to be happy...

and idc if they were drunk during that dinner/party... bruh i know what it's like to be drunk, ur still conscious😭😭 this wasn't the first time they talked shit abt ppl, like they Have done that sober when we hung out from high school until before this dinner/party.. but this rly was the meanest i've seen them fr and my 2 bffs confirmed that they were talking shit abt me so i'm rly pissed lol...

(if u made it here, thank u for taking ur time to read/listen 😭🫶 and sorry for any typos haha)

for the other friends on here:

TLDR: anon was invited to a sleepover with her best friends, anon's other friends in the group didn't show so her best friends (and the friend that invited everyone over invited her cousins/their friends) start talking shit about the other friend groups and admit to anon they talk ahit about her behind her back.

----

it sounds like you just found out who they really are. and the fact they admit it and are proud of it is yucky. it's common for them at this point.

it's okay to gossip a little and talk shit, we all do it. but there's a difference between:

'omg, i'm lowkey glad katy couldn't come. she always cries when she gets drunk and i couldn't handle it tonight!'

'omg but for real! last time she sobbed for ten minutes in the bathroom over a song!'

and:

'god, she's so delusional. he's a piece of shit guy and she actually thinks she has a chance.'

it's up to you on what you do next, but i'd never be able to relax or open up fully knowing i'd be a laughingstock when i'm not around. like- if you're gonna talk shit, do it to my face. at least then i'll respect you.

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Since series three of Mythic Quest is over what are your predictions on series four? Also what overall thoughts on series three of Mythic Quest because I still feel in the mix about this series.

First I want to say, thank you for asking! My answer ended up kinda long and rambly so I'll put it under keep reading in case anyone isn't interested. But I'm really happy to be able to discuss this!

I'm not sure I have any predictions, but I do really hope they follow up more on Zack's plan from season 2 in season 4. They completely dropped it, even though he was outright trying to manipulate employees and hurt the company. It's weird they didn't bring that up at all in s3. I also hope we get more character development for Dana, Rachel and Jo (I mentioned a while back that I'd love a Rachel backstory episode and I am sticking to that). I'm not a huge fan of Brad, Jo and Dana being split from the MQ office, but I hope that's at least done better than the splitting of characters in s3. I just hope s4 gives decent stories to the other characters again. They did it so well in s2, but fucked it in s3.

Also they better fucking bring back that bit of someone running to Brad for help and Brad already knowing what they want, and saying their words to them at the same time (did that make sense?) It's small, but I missed it in s3. It was a fun bit.

My ideal version of MQ season 4 would have more Rachel and Dana because to me the show is about them (it's not, I'm just constantly starved for good lesbian representation and want more of them being cringey lesbians). On a serious note, I just hope the other characters have more to do. Also more Carol would be great!

As far as s3 goes, I was quite disappointed with it. It had some great moments and I will say the Christmas episode and Sarian were life changing, but the rest was meh at best. It felt like the only characters that had something to do were mainly Poppy and David, and a bit of Ian. And the rest were just there?

The Rachel and Brad dynamic was rushed as all hell, which sucks bc I really like their dynamic, but come on it would not take Rachel one speech to suddenly be a greedy capitalist. Even with the whole idea of "she talked herself into it" it doesn't work imo. There should've been more manipulation on Brad's part for it to work, and it should've taken longer than an episode. (Also multiple people have brought this up already, but it makes no sense that Rachel dropped her goal of writing. I'd get it if she dropped out of Berkley for one reason or another, but her outright abandoning her interest in writing was weird)

Dana felt like she was barely there for a lot of the season imo, which sucks bc she's a cool character! And they barely did anything with her until like the last few episodes.

I hate that all of s3 was building up this movie deal, only for it to get cancelled at the end? Like what the fuck was that! Movies get cancelled often, sure, but for that to just not go anywhere at all was bullshit in my opinion. David standing up for himself was iconic, but the movie just being cancelled like that wasn't a good choice.

Also why was Brad the janitor for only like 2 seconds? Why did he hint towards having a plan, but had nothing? Brad as a janitor could've been so interesting since he was the head of monetization a year before, and now he has to try to get that back somehow. But they dropped that too.

Of course, a lot of people also wanted the Brad Breakdown Episode. I didn't know Danny Pudi had teased anything like it so I never expected it, but it is weird to name your episode To Catch a Mouse, stick Brad and Jo right in there, and nothing? At all? Did the writers forget about the animal sorting episode and Brad being labeled a mouse? Did they forget that Jo directly fucked with him for being a mouse? (Also side note: am I stupid or does it not make sense that Brad had the janitor costume on again in that episode if he's not the janitor anymore?)

The fact that CW didn't get a mention outside of the first episode was also disappointing. People theorised that CW's speech was gonna have an impact on some of the other characters, and I wish it would've. At the very least there should've been a scene where they're talking about CW because he was their friend after all.

I feel like I'm rambling a bunch now and I'm sorry. Simply put, I just hope s4 is better.

[wack-ashimself]

I need some perspective from random internet friends.

I post a lot about my friends and family on here because none of them are on Tumblr let alone know about this account. So I can vent my frustrations without lashing out. And I've actually tried to get them to join. So it's not my fault.

I've had a friend for most of my life. We've had our ups and downs like any friendship. He's a big guy. Recently he had weight loss surgery. Lost a ton of weight, looks good, is getting healthy. I'm happy and proud of him. Only been supportive.

However there has been a side effect that I did not expect in any form. He's kind of a judgmental prick now.

It started a couple weeks ago when out of nowhere he called me add or adhd. If I'm being fair, it's more than likely undiagnosed but true, but it was not diagnosed, I don't like being labeled, and I specially don't like it being out of nowhere. He literally brought it up in the middle of a conversation, which he's never fucking done before (ever. In any form. We've talked about it, but never 'this is definitely me') and kind of rubbed it in my face. Then when I confronted him on it, he got mad at me for being mad(?) and hung up. Which not only pissed me off but actually confused me. To this day I'm still wondering how he thought he had the balls to pull that off. I was in the right.

Then the other day, him as a super balding guy, he says that I look terrible and need a haircut. Again out of nowhere. Then the next day he says that I look unhealthy, fat, and my head looks fatter than normal.

Then yesterday was a straw that broke the camel's back. He went to another state and visited his family. I've only told 5 people that I'm trying to stop my drinking. Which is a big deal because I've never actually really tried. That's why I don't tell many people. I'm afraid I'll fail. Also it's not anybody's fucking business. He tells his entire fucking family that I'm trying to stop drinking, people I talk to once a decade tops basically, and they all cheer him on essatatically. Which only means one thing. Being that I never really talk or see these people, he MUST be keeping them informed of any drinking I do or any stupid things I do when I'm drinking. Cuz otherwise why would they cheer me on like I'm saving the world? His implication was they said I really needed to do this. Not to mention how boring is my life if this is the only thing you got to talk about me? He's such a fucking gossip. Get a life.

Don't get me wrong. I am not perfect. When I was younger, in my teens not anytime recent, I was kind of a blunt asshole. I may have called him fat a few times. But I can promise you this. I have not made fun of him for his weight in any serious regard in over 15 years. Easily. Don't get me wrong I probably made a fat joke, but only one he either made himself first, or one I know he would not take offense to. I have never used his weight as a reason to judge him or make him feel less in any way since we were children. But part of me feels like this is his retribution. Now he can make fun of me for being the fat one even though he's still fatter. By a lot. Like 150 lbs.

And my drinking is not healthy. I've done it as a means to cope with how much I hate being here. Which is still not healthy. However it is my deal, I don't physically abuse anybody, and I don't mentally abuse anybody. Don't get me wrong I've said and done things that piss people off, but there's genuinely only probably a handful of times in my entire life which I regret doing something or saying something drunk. Because nine times out of 10 when I do or say something, it's something I genuinely wanted to say. And I'm glad I said it. No joke one of my best moments with this asshole was when I finally confronted him drunk because he used his weight as a reason to shut me up anytime we were having a confrontation, and he would threaten to beat me up. Last time I said "let's go. You've been threatening to beat me up for over 20 years. Let's do it. I'll give you the first punch. But I can promise you once you throw that fucking first punch, it's on. There is no stopping me." He actually got intimidated and threatened to call the cops. The guy who threatened me for two decades to beat my ass because he was bigger than me anytime he disagreed with me was intimidated by me. Fuck him.

Okay I gave it all to you. I don't want to look like a saint but I don't want him too either. I just want to know: am I validated in my anger? Him making fun of my looks, my weight, my brain, and now even my drinking habits to his family. Don't get me wrong I definitely worded this so people would agree with me, but if you disagree with me in any way, please let me know. Because I'm trying to be a mature adult about this, but he is terrible with confrontation (see above). So the only option I really have is to ignore him. Because if I would confront him with this, like the conversation about add, he would just hang up. He's done it our entire friendship. I'll hear him out, but he'll never hear me out. He reminds me of my dad and brother. And why I don't have a close relationship with them...

Ugh. Part of me wants just to copy and paste this to him. But I already know his response. 'You're being overly dramatic. Too sensitive. I'm just joking around. Way too embarrass me online.' By the way his sense of humor most times is to say something really really mean, and then say just joking. And then when I confront him on it and say it's not funny, he says you know that's my sense of humor. Yeah and there's bad senses of humor asshole. If you're the only one laughing at a mean joke, it's not a joke. And if you're not the only one, you're probably surrounded by a bunch of assholes.

[dredshirtroberts]

So. My tire exploded this morning on the highway. Scared the bejesus out of me. I'm fine, I had a fullsize in the trunk and my meta came and saved me and followed me home before we went to go pick up our partner from the airport.

this happened at like. 5 in the morning. it's currently winging in on 2am. (don't worry, i had about 6 hours of sleep in the interim)

I have done my level best to not apologize for "breaking my car".

It occurs to me that there are some traumas that are going to be harder to shake the after affects of because of the (thankful) rarity of the trigger point coming up.

I was in a car accident when I was 18-19 (I think i'd just turned 19, it was spring semester finals so it was like May probably). Just me, just my car. And some trees. I've talked about it in more detail a few times. It was scary, the minivan was totaled, the airbags went off and my jaw got jammed about 2 months before my wisdom teeth surgery was scheduled. it was a lot.

I wore the shadows of those bruises for half a year. I wear the terror of the incident as it was happening every time i drive on rough roads (fuck you google maps - yes it's faster but also *what the fuck*).

I wear the devastation of my parents being more upset that I totaled the minivan than relieved that I was alive every fucking day. And moreso when I have messed something up.

I'd gotten in trouble for breaking things before - i'm unlearning the label of "destructive" and the designation of "unobservant" and "careless" very slowly. This was the first time it was made absolutely clear to me that my life was worth less to my parents than a 1998 dodge grand caravan with no working a/c in 2011 (which, by the way, was less than the tow fee to get it off the road and to a junkyard, let alone the cost of fixing what had been damaged in the wreck).

I was then accused of lying about how the accident happened for 10 years. Apparently 1 decade is the length of time i need to keep my story straight in order to be believed about things.

I still sometimes get shit about it from my family, by the way. Not as often anymore, not since they decided to believe that I really did just glance down to make sure the bug that had flown in through the window and landed in my lap wasn't going to sting me. One of the absolute most terrifying days of my life is a joke. Because I am worth less to them than a 12 year old minivan. The only reason a bug came through the window, by the way, is because of the lack of a/c. If my parents had forked over the cash to get that fixed properly, they wouldn't have been down a minivan.

(a minivan my *sister* is upset with me for totaling because she claims it was meant to be *hers*, according to her and backed up by my parents. why i was the only one who ever drove it at that point, i don't know. Make it make sense. You can't.)

it's been....it's been 12 years damn. it's been 12 years and they still get mad at me for the fact that the van is gone. None of them ever, in the times this is brought up, ever mentions that they're glad I wasn't more injured, that I didn't die.

because i'm not worth more than whatever a 1998 dodge grand caravan with no a/c was in 2011 to them.

And now I apologize for the fact that things completely outside of my control happen and items break from overuse because clearly it's my fault and i'm terrified i'll learn i was worth even less than that.

God I hate my family....

[taintedlxve]

Wild that this was posted when I wasn't around to defend myself. Apologies to the person who sent me this I feel like they were trying to reassure me but all it did was make me mad lol.

Anyways, I'm mentally ill and reading this shit kind of fucked up my day and since I just can't let shit go without correcting the record I'm just gonna go over some things rq and go back to my hiatus. You don't gotta read, but I was called a liar repeatedly and I'm not gonna let that sit.

A lot of Awoo's post screams out to me as "i'm taking accountability but not really" and I just want to point out places where I feel she's being disengenuous and go back to my hiatus bc I had a good vibe going until now lmao.

I'm skipping the really long explanation about why she never followed me, frankly as I've said before my problems with her extend past that entirely and at this point I don't think it matters that much.

I'll just say this, we had a private conversation in which I made it expressly clear it was okay to come to me about something if she felt she had a problem the LAST time she blocked me for no reason (to be clear to this day I don't know what the hell I was supposed to be sorry for?) after I decided to just unfollow her from her breedingacademy sideblog bc she was replying to other folks' stuff and seemed to just ignore mine. She apologized for this and said she'd do better and I believed her. This, primarily, why I didn't reach out at first.

Further in the post she mentions the vent I wrote that was, in fact, 1000% about her. Ngl I forgot I even wrote it and was surprised by how recently it was. I dunno if I'm really sorry about what I said, it's how I felt at the time and just given the context of how I've allowed you to treat me I simply don't trust you like that anymore.

To be clear I had a LOT of dropped threads at the time or wasn't getting responses at all and that was actively fucking with me and making me wanna quit entirely, but Awoo's behavior stuck with me bc she was one of the few whose responses flooded my dash and I just wouldn't be included. Not saying she's lying but frankly frankly even if it was true Idk what to tell you cause that wasn't the reason she gave at the time.

You very much did say "it's nobody's fault" and "my brain works differently" since you're accusing me of malicously taking you out of context and/or misremembering, but unfortunately I can't access the reply in the image attached bc it's been removed. I'll link it here, maybe something's fucky with my tumblr, I thought it might have been from the blog she ended up deleting but nah it takes me back to her current so -shrug-.

To go into further explanation about what she said (bc obviously I wasn't going to commit a post to photgraphic memory in a vent post) it was something to the effect of "sorry, that's just not how my brain works. once you tell me you're tired of something my brain just labels it as 'avoid at all costs'. It's nobody's fault but…" etc. etc.

She mentions she's autistic, which, I know?? She's mentioned it several times over the last 10 years. Most of my friends are neurodivergent with needs unmet. I'm autistic and soon to be tested for ADHD with needs unmet. I understand that life and socialization is extremely difficult for neurodivergent people.

My partner literally has avpd but she understands that ignoring people bc they make her anxious hurts those people and she takes steps to do what she's able to to circumvent those obstacles bc she cares about those people. I'm really over this self-infantilization people leap to to avoid being criticized the negatives things done because of their neurodivergence. Reminds me of when Sara would beef with everyone on dash and say 'Oh it's my depression'.

And it's not like you were unable to communicate. When I said I was playing fem!Izuku is like the ONLY time I've ever had you reach out to me in my DMs unprompted

Sure, maybe I missed the point of your callout post, whatever, but the point of my message was literally all I've ever asked of you was like, to talk to me and you blocked me without communicating again. The diff is I'm just over being gaslit into being nice and feeling like it's my fault.

You trying to push the responsibility back onto me with a "Oh well she never asked if she had a problem with me" in spite of the fact that I went SO far out of my way to accommodate you to the point of giving you different Cyr icons bc you were squicked out by hair covering eyes just puts the nastiest fucking taste in my mouth and it makes me mad tbh.

I cannot stress how much I'm always the one people expect to make the first move and how sick of it I am, that's why I didn't come to you. I'm not a 'coward', I just was done bowing and scraping for people who didn't like me.

If you cared, you had my discord, and it wasn't like I blocked you first. You had ways of contacting me, and you didn't. So the rigamarole of you 'being worried for me' just doesn't pass my smell test, sorry.

Maybe it does make me hypocrite to smell bs when I see it but it definitely doesn't make me gullible.

The rest is just her demanding an apology from me (nah, you first bitch) but, and I wanna be explicitly clear, the feeling is very mutual, I want nothing to do with this chick.

I wanna be very clear that the end result of this was never to rebuild a friendship with Awoo bc again, once she blocked me I realized this wasn't even the bulk of my problem with her, it was the last straw.

I'm don't wanna be friends with someone who publically calls me me disengenuous and makes me feel so bad I end up apologizing.

Or, again, someone who blocks me when I just say "oh, this person doesn't seem to want to interact on this sideblog so I'll just unfollow"

Maybe you're not like that anymore, or your neurodivergence makes you that way, but I just don't want people like that in my life anymore, and I'm done letting people make me feel small for standing up for myself.

I'll cop to calling you a bad person and saying you hate me bc a lot of that was me being in my feelings and I'm not a mind reader, nor do I know you well enough outside of the internet to make these claims.

But as much as you've tried to victimize yourself I 1000% stand by what I said before, I hope you don't treat you muts as shitty as you treated me.

Thank you for confirming tho that you're not sorry I think helps to know

[nathank77]

7/9/24

9:34 a.m Edited/Added to

So the hearing test I have appearantly excellent hearing yet it appears based on the graphs that it's a little worse than it was last time but not by much. It's frustrating cause I think I'd benefit from them but I don't meet the threshold. He doesn't even want a follow up, I can call if something seems off. I guess my tubes have cleared up which is nice.

My "perception" of hearing was marked as abnormal. That's the fucked part. He kept asking if I had something else in the background that would muffle sound and make it harder to hear. I didn't mention the hallucination bc- if i can hear you clearly, it drowns it out. If you're a room over it takes the person's voice. I didn't want to be labeled as crazy I want my medical files to be free of auditory hallucinations. Also it never steals the voice of someone I can hear clearly. Ever. It only does when the voice is too quiet.

The problem herein lies that until you can't hear anything under 26 decibels you have excellent hearing... and I'm right below the threshold so I'm still considered to have normal hearing despite hearing loss. I'm frustrated but whatever. Maybe in a year I'll call and see. I really wanted hearing aids cause I have to turn everything up louder and it's not due to the hallucination. The hallucination doesn't help.... but it doesn't drown out sound. The voice isn't loud I can just hear it clearly and only when something isn't louder than it. The test speaks for its self compared to last time it got worse. But whatever. Beyond that why do I have to turn up every device I have louder than I used to? Bc I'm right under the threshold. It's really obnoxious.

I got my new heart monitor thing and I put it on, I woke up with my chest feeling itchy af... and a poor skin contact reading. I removed it at 2 in the morning my skin was red and irritated. I'm starting to think I'm not going to be able to participate in the study and therefore I won't ever find out what's wrong with my heart. I mean the er picked up PVCs... so I mean even if it is straight panic attacks something is happening... I got to call cause I took Melatonin and Benadryl after removing the device, it almost took a hour to fall back to sleep and I wasn't going to fully wake myself up calling them. I got to check if there is a rash. Idk what to do. I didn't even sweat.

I planned out a game day today but once again I don't feel like gaming bc of my hallucination. I'm just watching ink master about to call the heart place and see what I can do bc I think I'm at the end of my rope for sensitive skin options.

No luck with dating go figure and I'm overwhelmed trying to find 2 therapists to replace Erin or just one who can see me twice a week... I'm still seeing the pre license but she's 26 and it's off putting working with someone younger than me. It was off putting working with mike and Kristen at first simply bc they are only a few years older than me.

I'm meeting with someone with 25 years of experience soon hopefully it's a good fit.

Anyways I feel really hopeless. I almost want to buy hearing amplifiers but I'm broke af. Really broke. Super broke. I can't afford to buy a 1$ thing of soap at the dollar store, let alone go to the MacBook store for my apple care...if I want to eat this month.

So it's whatever. I got a lot of appointments and shit this week. And I'm thinking about joining a local mentally ill place near me but it's work oriented... that's the problem I just want a place that I can go and paint, color, draw and talk to people without having IOP or something slapped on my record. I need to meet people but I dont need any counts against me on my medical file for being mentally ill, a psych ward hold is enough I would never do anything related to mental health but individual therapy at this point bc it would suggest potentially I can't take care of myself and I lack competency.

I wish hallucinating wasn't ruining my whole gaming experience and my passion..I wish I could meet someone. If I don't game I'm watching ink master all day cause I mean- I deserve a relaxing day I just wish I could enjoy gaming again but you try being immersed when all you hear is happy birthday if there isn't dialogue. It truly ruins everything. Busy work keeps my brain active on whatever task I'm doing and helps me ignore it bc I'm thinking about a lot of stuff.

I'll be busy the rest of the week so I'm hoping I can get motivated to play a game but last time it felt like a chore with the hallucination... a true chore.

Why can't I meet someone? It would be amazing if I had someone to talk to and someone to hang out with once a week. It would make a huge difference. I'd only join prime house to meet someone less crazy than me and find a gf. But it's kinda like going to a bar, you're going to meet Bar flies. At a crazy house, you're going to meet crazies. Not dateable people.

[joongernaut]

rendezvous

pairing: johnny suh x reader

genre/warnings: friends with benefits, porn with (very little) plot, smut, unprotected sex, (barely) exhibitionism, some degradation, overstimulation

word count: 4.7k

prompt: N/A

author note: back again FINALLY with a finished fic 😁☝🏾 not 100% satisfied with how it came about or how it ended but i'm just happy to be finished so i can move on to the next fic LMAO so hope you enjoy~ if not then oh wellllll

•••

[4 new messages!]

john😙: heyyy bestie ❤️

john😙: ...

john😙: hello?

john😙: now what if it was an emergency, i could be dead right now

you couldn't help but roll your eyes at johnny's dramatic line of messages, letting out a scoff before typing away on your keyboard to reply back.

you: dead people don't talk this much the last time i checked 🤨

you: now what do you want suh

john😙: wow so fucking rude

john😙: i can't say hi to MY best friend now? MY favorite girl?

it was always funny how you could read him like a book. you could already see where this conversation was headed; being friends for years did that to people you supposed.

you: sounds like you want something... just spill it already before i turn my phone off for the night and you don't hear from me until tomorrow

john😙: alright 🙄 sheesh

john😙: i was just wondering...

john😙: think we can meet up later? like 9:30-ish

at the mention of meeting up with johnny at, of all places he could choose, the park (you knew the one) the lightbulb lit up in your head and you figured out what he was getting at.

you: oh

you: john lmfao

you: is this your way of asking to fuck again?

you bit down on your bottom lip at the thought. meanwhile, your message was read as soon as you had sent it, the three dots showing up almost immediately after and then two replies came.

john😙: idkkkkkk depends...

john😙: are you trying to fuck me again?

the question was straightforward, just as much as yours had been, and if you were told you'd be in a situation with your best friend like this a few months ago, you would have laughed. but considering you both had recently started teetering into 'forbidden' territory, one that normal friends wouldn't be so keen on stepping foot in to, it wasn't much of a surprise now. it started with a teasing joke at first. you had started rambling one day while hanging out with johnny, mentioning that you would consider celibacy if you had to go through another unsatisfied sexual encounter. it was a bitter statement but still left you two giggling while nursing a few bottles of soju. that's when he mentioned that it had been a while since he had gotten laid himself, jokingly suggesting that 'if you scratch my back, i'll scratch yours'.

you wouldn't have took the statement seriously into consideration (fucking your supposed best friend was never a good idea in hindsight) if it weren't for the way he looked at you after the words left his mouth. the playful glint in his eyes and the quirk of his eyebrow made you raise your own as a smirk appeared on his face that you really hadn't realized was that handsome until now. it was as if he were asking a question without even uttering the words, his tongue swiping over his plush bottom lip easily catching your attention and distracting you from all of the red flags that screamed for you not to go forward with whatever you thought up in your head.

and that was the first step in pushing the boundary between you two; still being very close friends but different now with sex in the equation. almost labeled as 'lovers' but not quite since neither of you knew where the other stood emotionally. personally, you were too afraid to ask and bringing in feelings after making it clear that you would remain as friends regardless of the circumstance was just a disaster waiting to happen. you didn't want to ruin what you two had and you could only assume he felt the same way. did you love johnny? yes, of course. were you in love with him? that was a question you'd rather push to the farthest part of your brain right now.

and what better way to distract yourself than with the offer at hand?

you: gimme like 10 mins lol

you: meet up at the usual spot?

john😙: yup yup

john😙: and make sure to wear something reallllll comfortable

john😙: i'll cya soon 🤗

•••

"hey, can i ask you a question?" you asked the man now beside you as the two of you walked to your destination: a park not too far from the both of your homes and essentially being the perfect spot in the middle of the two places. you had both drove your cars there and parked side by side in the parking lot before getting out and walking towards the gated entrance. "i mean you already did but yeah, sure, ask away." johnny replied nonchalantly, turning his head to look over to you.

"do you get some kind of thrill fucking out here in the open? like an exhibitionist or something? couldn't help but notice that we come here way more often to mess around than going to each other's house." you said, stopping in front of the gate. the park itself had certain hours of operation and technically, as of 8pm, it was closed. but it wasn't completely closed off to the public at night just in case anybody wanting to do some night running along the trail. it was easy for you two to get past the gated entrance with a simple push of one side that allowed a slim opening to squeeze through.

johnny let out a chuckle as you went through first before he followed suit. "you ask that now after we've been coming here, what, over the past 3 times? if i'm an exhibitionist, then you're an exhibitionist, too." he said, bumping his hip into the side of your body at the last word, making you stumble a bit. "i mean, technically it's not even that because there isn't anyone around watching us, now is there?" he went on, asking rhetorically as you continued to walk the dirt trail that led to the more forested area within the park. the area was mostly designated for small gatherings with 3 picnic tables in place but people sometimes would use it as a resting area for after a run. obviously it wouldn't be used for its intended purposes right now.

"oh, shut the fuck up." you retorted with a roll of your eyes, attempting to shove his arm as reparation for earlier only for johnny to firmly grab a hold of your wrist before you could reach him. "what? do you want an audience?" he replied, an annoying smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he stared you down. you would be lying to yourself if you said the action didn't immediately stir something up within you, especially knowing what was to come, and the thought of someone also catching you in a compromising position while you were out in the open made your whole body warm up and start to tingle. you weren't going to give johnny the satisfaction of knowing that though. "are you going to keep asking me stupid questions or are you going to fuck me like how you've been wanting to?"

the sudden vulgarity from your own question must've stunned him for a second because he didn't move an inch at first, his mouth forming into a tight line as his eyes narrowed and flickered across your face. you were about to say something again, probably another smart-mouthed remark, but before you could his lips crushed hard against your own in a way that almost made you fall backwards if it weren't for the muscular arm wrapping tightly around your waist, holding you up right against him.

your breath caught in your throat, being caught off guard by the sudden action, but your body responded immediately and before you knew it you were kissing johnny back with just as much ferocity. he began walking forward, forcing you to walk backwards until your back came in contact to what you assumed to be a tree, pinning you against its bark while his tongue easily found its way past your parted lips.

johnny brought his other hand up to place it on the side of your face, tilting it to the side to get a better angle as your tongues intertwined before he wrapped his fingers around the front expanse of your throat. you couldn't help but let out a moan at the pressure of his hand around your neck, another slipping out a bit louder when his lips parted from yours briefly only to tilt your head to the side farther and attach themselves onto your neck. a series of bites followed by the trail of his tongue traveling from the lobe of your ear to the dip of your collarbone had you leaning more into his touch and the hand tightening around your neck only muddled whatever thoughts you had further. your bodies were pressed hard against each other now, perfectly placed to where you could feel his dick straining against his jeans and right up against your thigh.

he ground his hips against yours harder, the increasing friction not being directly on your pussy but the proximity making you wet with anticipation the longer he did it. "johnny... enough teasing." you huffed in frustration, your hand pulling at the hair on the nape of his neck and eliciting a groan from him. he pressed his lips back onto yours, biting down on your bottom lip and giving it a tug. "tell me exactly where you want me, princess." he says, voice raspy and in a lower octave sending a chill down your spine. "take a guess..." you muttered sarcastically, glancing between the two of you at your joined hips.

johnny's eyes followed your line of sight and then, suddenly (and much to your dismay) he started backing up and away from your body. you held back the whine that bubbled in your throat and threatened to come out until his hand came down and cupped your pussy through your sweatpants, the thin material doing absolutely nothing to save you from the way his fingers motioned harshly against it. it was almost impossible to hold back the sound as he pressed forward. "little fucking brat. i said tell me, not talk back to me." he growled out, the commanding nature making you press your thighs together only to fail now that his big hand was in the way.

the placement of his palm rubbed deliciously against your clothed clit, causing you to squirm in his grasp. "i'm not just- fuck, please, johnny, right there." you gasped, your body reacting way more at his actions than you'd like. but you just couldn't help it. "begging already? it's just my fingers, they haven't even gotten inside you yet." he teased in a mocking tone but you were too distracted by the circling motion around your clit and the fabric of your sweatpants moving against it to care or retort back. "can you just put it inside already?" you snapped a bit, growing impatient the more he touched you. johnny moved his hand further up and began untying the string of your sweatpants until they were loose enough to tug down to the middle of your thighs along with your underwear. a quick slap to your pussy made you exhale loudly and he slid his fingers down until they made direct contact with your clit, applying enough subtle pressure that made your body jerk forward in response.

"i've barely even started." johnny grunted while lazily moving his fingers in tight, quick circles around the nub. "so needy. you just can't wait, huh? you need my fingers that badly in your pretty pussy, is that all?" he pressed on questioningly, resorting you to a panting mess at his ministrations. when you didn't answer right away he began slowing down his hand movement, your head shaking back and forth quickly in protest. "no? then speak up. use your fucking mouth, tell me what you want."

you swallowed hard at his words, determining that right now was not the best time to be so bratty, now that you were aching for something m. "more. i-i want more. i want your fingers inside me. your dick, too. anything just... please, johnny, don't stop." you rushed out, nearly begging him to continue and he smirked down at you in response before leaning in again for an open-mouthed kiss. only, this time, you couldn't bring yourself to kiss back completely when two of his fingers slipped into your pussy up to his knuckles. "so fucking tight and so wet for me. baby, you're soaking." he mumbled against your lips, his thumb pressed into your clit as his fingers started a rapid scissoring motion inside of you, a silent cry falling from your mouth as you threw your head back onto the tree behind you. your body writhed around, only serving to help push his thick fingers deeper inside as he fucked them into you, his thumb on your clit relentless in its quick back and forth motion.

and through it all, there johnny was taking it you all in. enjoying every second of it with his bottom lip between his teeth. the fingers inside of you suddenly curled up and your walls instinctively clamped down around the digits as they brushed against that spot along your walls that had your toes curling up in your shoes. "wait, wait, wait." your words came stumbling out as your body tensed up, the familiar sensation in your stomach tightening up at an alarming rate but his fingers kept going, even seemingly picking up pace. "gonna cum already?" johnny asked, tauntingly. he could see it in the way that your hips bucked up sporadically, fucking yourself on his fingers, as your eyes screwed shut tightly and your body grew rigid as if you were trying to-

"do not hold back," he ordered, his fingers now thrusting up with a newfound vigor, being pressed into your g-spot repeatedly. "you can cum, i promise it won't be the last."

your eyes snapped open, the muscles in your thighs twitching, and you grabbed ahold of his shoulders for support as you didn't trust your legs to hold up for much longer. "look at me." he said, his free hand coming up to wrap around your throat again, tilting your head up until your half-hooded eyes met his darkened ones. "i said look at me... god, you're so gorgeous. want you to cum for me so bad, baby. you can do it." he cooed while egging you on. the sensations were becoming too much, his fingers fucking you while his thumb pressed into your now throbbing clit and the thing that pushed you over the edge being his hand squeezing tightly around your throat. your pussy fluttered around him as you let out a string of curse words and a wanton moan, body jerking and shaking as you came around his digits.

"that's it... good fucking girl." johnny breathed out, his fingers not letting up, still deep inside of you, while his thumb continued to work you through your orgasm. he pulled them out altogether once you were done, a shiver raking your body from the after shock and the lack of fullness, and he put his fingers into his mouth to suck them clean. you could only watch on with a blissed out expression and slight amusement while you caught your breath. it wasn't new for johnny to make you cum more than once but this time in particular it happened almost embarrassingly fast. almost, if you actually gave a fuck.

while he was preoccupied, and once your body was finally calmed down, you placed a hand over the bulge in the front of his own sweatpants and gave it a firm squeeze. "already?" johnny asked incredulously with a raise of his eyebrow, teasing tone evident in his voice but you couldn't mistake the shake in it. you gave his dick another squeeze, a grunt being heard above you now. "yeah, already." you replied, hooking your thumbs into the side of his sweatpants and his briefs before tugging them hastily down on his thigh enough to where his dick sprang free. you lowered your head down a bit, hovering over his dick in your hands, before opening your mouth to let a collection of spit fall onto it. he moaned out as you let the spit run down the length of his dick before stroking from the base to the tip, rubbing it into his slit.

"you don't have to do that.." johnny says, feeling himself twitch in your grasp at the lewd sight. your eyes flickered towards his own and you locked eyes together. with his attention fully on you, you opened your mouth again while remaining eye contact and let another trail of spit travel from your mouth to his tip. "okay... but i want to." you said, your tongue running flat along the swollen head.

your mouth wrapped around it fully now, tongue flicking over his slit in a languid motion, as his body tensed up. "fuuuck." was all he could utter out, one of his large hands coming down to rest on the top of your head. your eyes fluttered as you looked up at him through your eyelashes, cheeks hollowing as you as you sucked on his head earnestly. "you're so fucking pretty like this," he said after a hitch of his breath, "pretty lips wrapped around me so well. you're so good at this baby, keep going."

this encouraged you to speed up the motion of your hand and began bobbing your head more, your throat opening up to allow more of his dick inside as your hand started a twisting motion around his tip. johnny's once gentle hands were now carded through your hair, gripping at the roots in a harsh tug that had your scalp stinging and your body vibrating. you moaned, swallowing around his dick, and he instinctively started to fuck your mouth in slow, shallow thrusts. this made your thighs press together tightly with a familiar need, suddenly remembering the feeling of the last orgasm that you had. this doesn't go unnoticed by him and he thrusts sharply making you gag before holding your head in place by your chin, the tip of your nose brushing against his happy trail as you deep-throated him. "you like sucking my dick that much that you can get off to it? f-fuck, that's so hot." he said with a shudder, letting your chin go so you could remove yourself from his dick and take several breaths.

johnny was tempted to push back into your mouth, already wanting to feel your tongue working around him again, but the sudden sound of footsteps made him freeze up. "get up." he said suddenly, pulling you up by your arm while your eyebrows knitted in confusion. "wha-" you had started until he placed a hand firmly against your mouth and shuffled the two of you behind the large tree behind you quickly. it was then that you had heard the footsteps approaching as well and you almost stopped breathing, suddenly too aware of how exposed you two were. and to makes things worse, it seemed the pair of feet stopped a few feet away from you by the same picnic tables.

"you gotta be kidding," johnny whispered with a roll of his eyes, clearly irritated by the interruption, "who comes to this part of the park this late?" he questioned to himself and you couldn't help but shake your head trying not to let out a laugh considering what you were just doing. you tugged at his hand for him to remove it from your mouth and he obliged. "yeah, i wonder... should we leave?" you asked quietly and he quickly peeked around the tree at the two, leisurely stretching their legs as they chatted to one another. "well, we can't exactly leave without them noticing us but if you want to..." he answered, starting to slowly tuck himself back into his sweatpants when your hand grasped his wrist stopping him. "w-what if i don't? what if we don't stop?" you said quickly, avoiding his gaze now but you could still feel his eyes burning into you. and you could almost hear the smirk in his voice as he said "then turn around and bend over for me."

you slowly followed his instruction, trying to make as little noise as possible, until you were met with the bark of the tree. you could hear him shuffling behind you a bit and you curiously turned your head to look at him only for him to let out a "tsk" as his hand moved your chin to face the tree again. "someone has to keep watch and make sure we don't get caught." johnny said, his hand now smoothing over your back to make your body lower as you arched into him. "fuck, yeah, stay just like that. remember to keep your eyes forward." he added, giving his dick a couple of strokes as he used the other hand to knead the flesh of your ass firmly. his thumb lowered to your pussy, parting your lips lips a bit, before languidly rubbing the slit with the his tip. you bit down hard on your bottom lip to force yourself not to whimper as loudly as he prodded at your entrance before slowly sinking in. not that he didn't think you could take it- he just knew exactly what to do to drive you crazy, to keep you wanting more. everything he did to your body was with with a purpose, right now being no different than any time.

johnny bottomed out inside of you, sharp hips connecting to the cheeks of your ass as he let out a sigh of content. despite your body already feeling like it was about to give out, you willed yourself to take a peek around the tree to see if the people were still there. unfortunately, they had even took a seat to take a rest now as they continued to talk idly and you felt a little bit nervous as risky as this already was. pulling you out of your thoughts instantly, however, johnny pulled back before sharply thrusting forward again making you let out a small yelp and you immediately slapped a hand over your mouth. it had to have been loud enough because in your peripheral their heads had turned towards the direction of the tree briefly and you moved your head away just in time so they didn't see you.. "johnny!" you hissed, trying to make yourself sound threatening but it sounded more like a plea. he let out a low chuckle, bending forward so his chest was now pressed against your back making his dick now press impossibly deep inside of your pussy. your knees buckled together growing weak but he put an arm around your mid-section to keep you hoisted up.

"all you have to do is be quiet, what's so hard about that?" johnny said directly into your ear with a growl as he rutted into you. the conversation of the people seemed to have continued on as they opted to ignore the noise and you were very grateful for it. "you must really want to get caught. is that it? you want someone to catch you getting fucked like a slutty little bitch, out in the open?" he rasped, the degrading words making your walls clench down on him hard as you swallowed thickly. he was so deep inside of you, stretching you out to the point where you felt like you'd be split open and you had to force your head not to drop down just in case you still needed to play look-out. "n-no, don't wanna get caught..." you tried to protest, a little moan slipping out once he stood up again and his rutting turned into more powerful thrusts now. the sound of skin slapping against skin was undeniable and your face couldn't help but heat up in embarrassment at the fact that the people around the tree that covered you would know exactly what was going on. you could hear the pregnant pause in conversation, most likely listening in closely to make out what noises they were hearing, and your body tensed up as you held your breath.

johnny was too lost in you to care now, only worried about the way your pussy gripped him and kept pulling him in as he pulled out and thrusted back into you again. the way you tried to hold back every sound he was coaxing out of you only made him want to fuck it out of you more. maybe this was a kink of his, amongst other things, as he recalls your question from earlier. footsteps could be heard from around the tree again and johnny paused for a moment until he realized that they seemed to be going in the opposite direction from their location and away from the two of you. "they definitely heard you, you know," he sneered, "there's no way they couldn't have." he gripped your hips tightly as he started back up thrusting into you harder and you finally let out a loud, drawn out moan. "even now you can't shut the fuck up. so whiny. here, make yourself useful." he said, pressing his fingers past your lips and into your mouth and you eagerly began sucking on them, stifling all of the sounds you were making. once they were slick enough, he removed them from your mouth with a wet and audible 'pop' before bringing them down and slapping them against your clit hard.

your head pressed into the tree as you tried to grip it with your hands to the best of your ability, using it as some type of support as you fucked your self back onto him. "please, please, please, please, please." you babbled in repetition, still sensitive from earlier and now even more aroused with almost getting caught, the lewd squelching of your bodies connecting being the evidence of that. you didn't even know what you were pleading for but, in response, johnny quickened the pace of his thrusts to a piston as his fingers rubbed, and slapped, and rolled against your clit in quick succession.

it came without warning this time, your orgasm violently causing your body to twitch and your pussy to flutter and clamp down on johnny's dick with a vice grip. and with his hand still working your clit and him pounding into you, the feeling was prolonged, tears brimming your eyes at the overstimulation. "tell me where to cum." he groaned, clearly reaching his breaking point as his thrusts began to slow and get sloppy. you threw your head back before turning your head to look at him behind you, the fucked out expression on your face causing him to reel. "inside, johnny. please cum in me." your words slurred together, feeling drunk on just the feeling of him still filling you up.

he grunted, eyebrows furrowing as his own body tensed up at your request. "whatever you want." he moaned out, a few more hard thrusts into your dripping pussy before he stilled deep inside of you with his dick twitching. you moaned out softly, feeling the warmth spread into your lower abdomen and seep out a bit once he dragged himself out of your pussy slowly. the two of you didn't waste much time after that to pull your pants back on, fixing yourselves before hurriedly making your way back through the park and out of the gate as quick as your wobbly legs could take you.

once you were back at your car, you turned to him and shook your head in slight disbelief. "on a scale of 1 to 10, how wild was that of us to do?" you asked. johnny ran a hand through his hair, shooting you a smile that glinted with mischief. "i don't know but we definitely have to do that again." he answered with a quirk of his eyebrow, making you roll your eyes. "you're a freak, you know that?" you scoffed light-heartedly as you made your way to the driver side of your car. "but i'm your freak," he retorted back quickly, the statement making you nearly freeze in place and want to squirm from the mere implication of said words. "plus, what are best friends for?".

surely not anything like this.

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