#but after things get worse and worse greg gives himself up and is like okay sometimes we just cant get home

[puhpandas]

Happy To Be Your Pillow

(2,370 words)

Gregory, who is too exhausted to walk home from school, is convinced by Tony to take a nap outside the school. He volunteers himself as a pillow.

Its embarrassing to say, and Tony would never admit this to anyone, but it was easy to notice when Greg had started getting really tired.

Tony had noticed around the very beginning, where there wasnt much difference to Gregory's behavior, just the slight bags under his eyelids that weren't there before. He'd come to school acting just fine, not exactly normal (because Gregory is very not normal) but easily himself. He got through the days like always and would never respond with anything concerning when Tony would send him those looks he'd always give him, the ones that can hold entire silent conversations between them.

Its embarrassing, because to admit that he'd noticed would be admitting that he looks at Gregory's eyes enough to see such a small change.

But Tony had, and he'd noticed even quicker when Greg kept coming to school more and more exhausted every day. Eventually, it wasnt just slight pink under his eyes and less hangouts. His eyes started to always be half lidded with drowsiness, and his head would bob up and down as he would struggle to stay awake in his seat during class.

The point is, Gregory has been clearly exhausted all week. It's gotten so bad that Tony cant even ask if Gregory's okay with his eyes anymore; he'll be so faraway and tired that he wont notice.

Tony and Greg always sit with Ellis while he waits for his parents to pick him up. They always sit in this little crevice behind a wall outside the school where someone who drives past could see them, but nobody could from the entrance. Tony likes to call the spot theirs since he's never seen anyone else go there, and they all have their own designated spots where they sit against the wall of the school.

It's where they are right now. Its been another day at school where Greg looks like a zombie. He basically fell asleep standing at his locker today; Tony had to shake him awake and save him from a fate that would be much less kind if the meaner kids had found him first.

Ellis gives his friends a smile from where he's standing up, ready to get in his parents car. Tony and Gregory are sitting against the wall of the school, and Gregory is definitely more slumped than he should be. Tony can see the look Ellis is giving the boy next to him; They're both worried.

"Bye, guys. See you later." Ellis says to them. "Greg."

Gregory snorts, jolting up at hearing his name. He looks awful. The bags under his eyes are large enough to need a check and a deep shade of purple. They make his eyes look sunken in, and the orange-ish gold that Tony is so used to glowing in the sunlight (he doesn't look at Gregory's eyes that much) are duller now. Greg brings up a hand to rub at them, but he still manages a smile for his friend.

"Bye, Ellis." He says, his voice rough. It sounds like he just woke up. "This weekend, kay? Bowling?"

Ellis nods. His parents car honks its horn from behind him. Ellis makes an annoyed noise, and he only spares one last worried look for Greg and a piercing look for Tony.

You better do something about that. It seems to say.

Tony nods at him, slight and small, and Ellis is content enough with that response to finally turn on his heel and leave.

They both know how things can get, sometimes. Tony more than Ellis. He was involved, after all, but even he knows Greg has it worse. It's not a competition, but... Greg has it worse.

It reminds him of when they'd all first gone back to school and it had felt so jarring. Nothing had actually changed, but it had felt like completely different world. Tony had felt like an alien. It had felt like the school had been frozen in time while Tony hadn't. GGY had changed everything and flipped everyones lives on their heads.

GGY still plagues Greg like he never left. Tony's so worried because he knows how Gregory will have nightmares. Violent ones. He's been there for plenty. Theres been multiple nights where Greg would wake up screaming or suffering in silence and Tony would have to hold his hand to let him know he was there. Gregory couldn't stand seeing him in those moments.

As Ellis leaves, Tony wonders why Gregory hasnt said anything. They're usually so good with telling eachother things. Tony's worried about how silent about it all Gregory's being when it's clear something is wrong.

Tony knows what happened the last time something was clearly wrong and Greg didnt say anything about it, but he shoves that thought down as fast as it came.

It's only the obnoxiously loud exhaust on Ellis' parents car that snaps Tony out of it. It makes him jolt, and he spares a second to frown at them. He's never liked Ellis' parents.

Only afterwards does Tony realize that Gregory didnt jump at the sudden sound like he did. Tony sighs a bit through his nose, looking over to see his friends eyes slipping shut and his form slouched over. His head lolls and Tony can see a couple times where Greg really does almost fall asleep.

He can barely stay awake. It makes Tony frown. How much sleep is he losing where any moment of peace (or not) he gets he's almost passing out on his feet?

Tony shifts from his position sat against the wall of the school, the rough concrete riding against his jacket. He nudges Gregory with his hand, trying not to startle him. "Greg, hey, man."

Gregory doesnt startle, but he does sort of wake up a bit, if his eyes being open for more than two seconds at a time is what you call awake. He looks over at Tony, and Tony frowns deeper at just how exhausted his eyes are. He misses the sparkle in them. When they'd get bright and crinkle at the corners when Gregory would smile at him (really. He doesnt stare at Gregorys eyes as much as you might be thinking. He swears.).

"Yeah?" Gregory asks. He tries to sit up a bit more, since those few moments of nodding off were all it took for him to sink to the ground. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Tony replies. "Its just... maybe you should take a nap, Greg."

"R'ght here?" Gregory responds, slightly gesturing at their surroundings. Even though its their corner, it's still mostly concrete and asphalt that would be uncomfortable to sleep on, with one measly bush protecting them from prying eyes. Theres almost zero privacy, but theres no-one around anyway.

Gregorys right that this would be a really sucky place to sleep, but... Tony and Gregory usually bike (or walk, in Greg's case) home, and if how Gregory was acting today is any indication, Tony doesn't think he can make the trek like this. If he could, he'd come home with Greg and make sure he got enough rest, but Vanessa has work around this time and wont even be off for another two hours. The perfect amount of time for a nap before she can come pick them up.

"Theres nowhere to sleep." Gregory points out, gesturing at the concrete floor with rocks and pebbles strewn around its surface.

Tony takes a moment to respond. He could use their backpacks as a pillow, but Tony knows they suck at being comfortable. They're full of books and calculators and pens and pencils. He could always lean against the wall, but that would be awful for his back and neck.

Gregorys looking at him slightly expectantly. Tony's mind is going haywire with a clear and obvious solution, and before he can lose his nerve-- "Lay down."

Gregory raises a brow. "Where?"

Tony wishes he didnt have to say it out loud. He glances away, face warm. "Here. Uh... lay your head here."

He pats his hand on his lap.

Tony's still looking away; his stomach is churning with nerves and his face is on fire, but he can still catch the way that Gregory seems to wake up a bit more at that from the corner of his eye.

Its painfully silent for a few seconds straight, and Tony almost starts to panic before Gregory finally responds.

It's not with words, it's by shifting his body and carefully and gently angling himself to lay horizontally next to Tony on the asphalt, and lowering his head onto Tony's jeans.

Tony tries his absolute hardest not to lock up and tremble and shake; that'd make a pretty bad pillow. It's hard though, when Greg's face is right below him, and if Tony tipped his chin down he'd be face to face with him. He wonders if he should. If Gregory may be looking at him with his sparkling eyes again.

He eventually does, despite his burning red face and the butterflies in his stomach. It's only in his peripherals that he can catch a glimpse of how Greg's hair is spread out on Tony's legs and fallen away from his face.

He's laying on his back and his face is pointed straight up at the sky. Tony thinks about how easy it would be for Gregory to see Tony's face like this. If he's admiring Tony the way Tony wants to admire him.

He glances down, and unlike how he was expecting, Gregory's still wide awake, looking up at Tony with half lidded eyes and meeting his gaze as soon as Tony allows himself to look.

Despite the fact that Tony's mind is screaming at him and his face is definitely more of a crimson now, he finds it in him to smile, and for his body to relax more. Greg looks comfortable. That's all he cares about.

"Go to sleep, Greg." Tony tells him, voice soft as silk. "I'll wake you up from your nap when it's time."

Gregory doesn't respond. He just keeps looking at Tony, and then he smiles ever so slightly before his eyes finally flutter closed.

Tony feels the smile stretch farther on his face when he got to have shining gold eyes looking right in his before Greg had finally taken his nap. The nerves make his legs and his limbs want to twitch and spasm and move, but Tony stubbornly keeps them still. He doesnt want to disturb Gregory's sleep. Not when he's finally resting.

He's not sure what to do, for a moment. He realizes he'd zoned out looking at Greg's sleeping face for a second there, and he looks away with a twinge in his heart. He's not sure where to put his arms, and he's zeroed in on the feeling of Gregory using his legs as a pillow. He can barely focus on anything else.

He sighs out, trying to relax, and manages to wrestle his phone out of his jacket pocket. He keeps his gaze carefully away from Gregory's peaceful face, feeling embarrassment shoot through his chest.

His Mom and Grandma usually expect him to not come home after school nowadays, because he goes home with Gregory so often. They usually wait for a text from him to tell them what's up if he doesnt show.

I wont be home today He texts his Mom. Staying at Gregorys.

He shuts off his phone after that, thinking he should really read some of that book hes been working at right now, since all hes doing is sitting here.

Here with Gregory sleeping on you. His mind says. Think about what that means.

He pauses. He cant think about what it fully means. He cant think about how much Greg trusts him to do this, or how he hadn't even hesitated, or how he'd been out like a light as soon as Tony told him he'd take care of him.

He risks a glance back at Greg from where he'd been watching a random tree in the distance, and ignores the way his heart flutters when he realizes just how much Greg truly is resting right now. Resting on him.

School has long since let out, but it's almost Summer, so the sun doesn't set really early like it does in Winter. The sky, despite the fact, is a beautiful milky pink color with yellow clouds. Tony thinks it's because the school is near a gas station. He once read up on that.

The sky casts a glow on them, since the roof doesnt cover them, and Tony wishes he could see it reflected in Greg's eyes, here. He wishes that he could keep talking to him. He wishes a lot of things about how Gregory's sleeping on his lap right now.

Tony dares to wish that maybe this doesnt have to be a one-time thing. Maybe, on nice days like this, where nobody bothers to stick around school when it lets out, they can come to this spot and do this more often. Tony dares to hope he'll be able to admire Gregory this way again.

The thought makes his cheeks burn, and he let's himself look a little longer, noticing how the sky being cast above is making it easier to see the faint freckles on Greg's face and how his eyebrows are slack and for once, not furrowed or upturned in worry. How his lips are slightly parted and Tony can see the gap where his missing tooth is. How he can trace the line of his face scar traveling up his jaw and curving on the bridge of his nose.

He pointedly doesn't acknowledge how his own eyes are half-lidded like how Greg's were. That was from tiredness though, right?

Greg is peaceful right now, and asleep and resting, and Tony is glad to be his pillow. He realizes he'd do this many times over, if he could. He wonders if Greg would do the same for him and if Tony would be able to be the one lying on someone happy to be his pillow and looking at the sky and in his eyes, the stars as well.

Tony doesn't take out his book.

ao3 link

[3d-wifey]

What are those WIPs looking like? c'mon pleaseeee 😩😩😩😩give us a list. ur my favorite writer and I read everything I write, I wanna know what I have to look forward to (if you don't want to that's totally okay)

December Wip List

This took me a fucking minute 😭😭 please tell me if any of you wanna be tagged for any of the following.

In-progress series (original)

And They’d Find Us a Week (Hunger Games) - Finnick x implied black!Reader

↳ You run cold, you always have, it’s just another thing to love as far as Finnick is concerned. He himself emits heat like a furnace on the best of days. He remembers cold hands touching his heated skin, cold toes shocking the skin of his legs whenever you lay together. But now, now Finnick feels nothing but a hissing heat as your mouths press together. Heat like a hot knife cutting into a block of ice, like a blazing star consuming him in a ball of fire, only to sizzle into a warm embrace. He melts into you, trusting that you’ll sculpt him back together with your glacial grip.

Or

After everything you and Finnick have gone through together, it only makes sense that you’ve grown a little attached.

↳Status: Ongoing; posted

The Female of the species (The Boys) - Various/Homelander x black!supe!Reader

↳ “So what? I was grown in a lab like a, like a—fucking Chia Pet?” You can feel the air around you become charged, molecules flying by your ears at top speed. Ashley rushes to catch her papers that she stupidly left loose. “Calm yourself.” Edgar drones and his lack of reaction to you turning the room into a small cyclone only aggravates you further.

Or

Both a woman who’s used to getting whatever she wants and a man who’s never heard no, created in a lab. What a horrible pair you two will make. (basically ‘I can’t fix him. I can fuck him though, maybe that’ll help.’ Says woman that is worse.)

↳ Status: Ongoing; not posted

All On His Mouth Like Liquor (Succession) - black!Reader x Various [Shiv, Tom, Greg?, Kendall, Roman?, Menkin, Matsston, Stewy]

↳ "Mmm. You know, I've got a pretty cushy job in the White House lined up. I might be able to get you on my team." Jeryd places a hand on the counter next to your hip, leaning into your space, but you ignore him in favor of fixing your smeared lipstick. "I'm not looking to be anyone's Monica Lewinski."  “You think pretty highly of yourself." You pause and glance down at yourself. At the way your blouse is just on the right side of too tight. The way leaving the top two buttons undone gives anyone interested a glimpse of your necklace dipping between your cleavage. You turn to the side and look in the mirror at the way your skirt clings onto your ass and thighs, curves modestly on display. You look back at him with an eyebrow raised. "Point." He concedes, eyes still looking you over.

Or

As her assistant, it’s quite literally your job to be a Shiv defender.

↳ Status: Ongoing; not posted

Please Don’t Go (I’ll Eat You Whole) (Scream) - Yandere!Billy x Reader x Yandere!Stu

↳"Do you…find me…attractive?" He drawls, words drawn out like you're an exceptionally stupid child. And, honestly, you're starting to wonder if you're suffering from brain damage.  This is insane. Seriously, how many unhinged things can happen to one person in 48 hours? "I, uh, I mean,” you shrug, staring over his shoulder at your wall, "yeah. But, Billy, a lot of people do, which is what I was trying to say—" "There's a difference between people and you." He sits up, leaning towards you. "Why didn't you tell me?" "Billy, it's really not that big of a deal." You sigh, moving to get up—unwilling to let yourself be embarrassed. But he stops you, grabbing your hand, and you realize in a panic that he isn't going to let this go. "It is to me." He pulls you back on the bed closer than you were before, thighs brushing together. "What would have happened if I did?" You roll your eyes. Why are you humoring this? "Well, I might have had a girlfriend who didn't find me disgusting." “I don’t…I…” You shake your head in disbelief, breath catching in your chest before rushing out a weary sigh. “How the hell am I supposed to respond to that, Billy? Wh–what am I supposed to do with that?”

Or

When you love someone the way Billy and Stu love you, well, what’s a little manipulation between friends?

↳ Status: Ongoing; not posted

Once More to See You (Bridgerton) - Anthony Bridgerton x Reader

↳ Anthony is not one for flowery musings. He isn’t a poet, nor does he spend his time admiring the arts or waxing poetics about beauty and such. No, he leaves that sort of thing to his brother. But as you peer up at him with expectant eyes, the lights of the chandeliers painting you in a soft yellow, he can understand why a war was waged over Helen of Troy.

Or

You’ve finally come home from France and you’re a woman grown—far too old to entertain the silly musings you had as a girl. You’ve been presented to higher society and your search for a suitable husband has just begun, but Anthony isn’t willing to be so easily forgotten.

↳ Status: Ongoing; posted

You Set My Soul Alight (House of the Dragon) - Yandere!Daemon Targaryen x Reader

↳ He presents the wreath to you and you have no choice but to take it. There is a pause before hesitant cheers erupt around you, building in confidence until the entire stadium is roaring. Prince Daemon is the champion and has crowned you the Queen of Love and Beauty, dedicating his victory to you—just like he said he wouldn’t.  He smirks up at you, his plan unfolding before your eyes.  It is the beginning of the end. 

Or

Perhaps it would have been easier on everyone if you had just told Daemon you were being betrothed before your father publically announced it.

↳ Status: Ongoing; not posted

She’s My Collar (JJK) - Geto x Reader x Gojo

↳ Oh, you don’t hate them. Hate would require a level of acknowledgment that you don’t bestow upon the two boys. You’d have to notice them to hate them, you’d have to care and you’re indifferent at most. No, it’s much more simple than that. Gojo and Geto just aren’t on your radar.

Or

Being the first of your clan in centuries to join the world of Jujutsu sorcerers, specifically Tokyo Jujutsu Acadamy, is sure to make waves. And with a cursed technique like yours, it’s no wonder the Strongest have taken an interest in you. If only it was mutual.

↳ Status: Ongoing; not posted

Imagine Being Loved By Me (Star Wars) - Anakin x Reader x Obi-Wan 

↳"I can train her." All eyes look to Master Skywalker's hologram. He sits reclined in his chair—or what you presume is a chair—as if he's discussing the weather and not taking you on as an apprentice. "No." Windu turns him down immediately and you frown, just as against the idea as he is. You're sure many other Padawans would jump at the notion of being trained by Anakin Skywalker, but it's completely unnecessary. "In fact, you are the last person that should train her."

Or

As a Senior Padawan, nothing can keep you from doing your part in the war, not even the untimely death of your Master. Yoda asking Obi-Wan to take you under his tutelage is surprising. Almost as surprising as Anakin volunteering to do it himself. 

↳ Status: Ongoing; not posted

Limerence (The Sandman) - Morpheus x major arcana nightmare!Reader x Corinthian

↳ You watch as Adam and Eve run hand in hand, far from the Garden Of Eden. Steps hurried, frantic as if worried God would change his mind and bring them back—lock them away in that pretty cage again. But they are smiling. There's not an ounce of regret within either of them. You search and find that their only desire is to be free, together. Love is such a strange thing, you think from your spot between Dream and the Corinthian.

Or

If you and Corinthian are two stars orbiting each other, then Dream is the black hole that birthed you—drawing you both closer and closer while tearing you apart. One day, he will swallow you both whole, and you will say thank you.

↳ Status: Ongoing; not posted

In progress sequels

Show em Who I Belong to pt.2 - Dom!Johnny Cage

Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You, Baby pt.2 - Manipulative/toxic!Erwin Smith

One-shots

Damon, Klaus, Elijah x reincarnated!Reader (TVD/TO) - 1989 is the worst year of your life simply because it's the year you met Damon and, consequently, the year you were reborn for the last time.  (might be a series)

Nick x Reader x Jacob (The Quarry) - A game of truth or dare has led to the last night of Summer going to complete and total shit. Having been bitten by some kind of beast and feeling like you're going to literally burst out of your skin, the only upside is being stuck between two hot guys who are desperately in love with you. It could be worse. At least you weren’t the only one bitten. 

Remus Lupin (Harry Potter) x Reader - You and Remus are quite competitive, always going head-to-head in your classes. It’s commonplace to compete for the highest marks. What isn’t commonplace, is the sabotage in the form of Remus’s wandering hands.  

Sirius Black (Harry Potter) x Hufflepuff!Reader - Sirius can’t help but feel like he’s the only person in the entire school that you hate. Probably because he is.

James Potter (Harry Potter) x Hufflepuff Quidditch captain!Reader - James Potter has been your sworn nemesis since your first year and now that you’re both captains of your respective teams, that rivalry has only grown. Now, if only Potter would get the memo.

Poly!Marauders x Reader (Harry Potter) - Honestly, in retrospect, you don’t know how you thought this would end without incredible irritation on your part. You thought the four of you had outgrown such childishness, that being the only reason you even invited them to the fundraising event. Had you known it would end like this, you would have declined the offer to volunteer altogether. 

Johnny Cage x Reader (MK1) - Johnny is too needy for you to wait until the awards show is over. Besides, he’s been so good for you, hasn’t he? Doesn’t that deserve positive reinforcement? You wouldn’t want him to act out, would you?

Himbo!Steve Harrington x bimbo!Reader (Stranger Things) - Steve was smarter than you, but only slightly. Not smart enough that he would ever hold it over you, but smart enough to know that the two of you shouldn't have been doing this in such a public place.

College loser!Mike x mean popular!Reader (FNAF) - “I promise I’ll be good, just…” “Use my thigh.” “What if I just leave you here, wet and needy.” “Clean my fingers, this is your mess.”

Manipulative proffessor!Erwin Smith x TA!Reader (AOT) - Erwin has a soft spot for you, his new TA.

Arthur Morgan x Photographer!Reader (RDR2) - "Sure." He takes a cursory look around at the towering trees before focusing his gaze back on you. His wide-brim hat shades eyes so blue that you’re certain the sky itself is teeming with envy.

Johnny Silverhand x Musician!Reader (Cyberpunk 2077) - It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to collaborate with Johnny Silverhand. If only he knew how to keep his mouth in check.

Luke, Han, Leia x Zeltron!Reader (Star Wars) - You’re not a Jedi. You don't know the Jedi code and you’re probably as Force sensitive as a particularly dedicated brick. Despite that, you’re pretty sure the Force isn’t supposed to be used like this.

Sebastian X Demon!Reader x Claude (Black Butler) - Your mistress is interested in doing business with Ciel Phantomhive. Who would have thought he had a demon on his payroll?  (might be a series)

NSFW Alphabets

Star (The Lost Boys) - Adding on to that poly Lost Boys Alphabet

Anakin

Obi-Wan

Negan

Damon Salvatore

Headcanons/drabbles

Earthrealm MK1 boys compete for Goddess!Reader’s attention

Paul (lost boys) eating you out while you’re both high

Dark/yandere Luke Skywalker NSFW headcanons

Yandere Targaryen men (Aegon i, Maegor, Aegon ii, Aemond, Daemon) x Reader - Being the pregnant wife of a close friend

Yandere Targaryen men x Reader - Finding out you’re being married off

More flirty intros (MK1 and MK11)

Dead By Daylight Killers x Obsession!Reader

Eren Jaeger with a breeding kink

Yandere/dark president Loki x Ironman variant!Reader

Possible ideas (I’ll take prompts on these/discuss these)

➔Astarion (BG3) x Reader : 

Smut for sure

Eat Your Young -  Astarion did try to stick to the plan, truly, he did. Some seduction here, a few implications there. It should have been enough to get him into your bedroll alongside your heart. It would have worked on quite literally anyone else, but you’re just so Gods damned oblivious! (might become a series)

➔John Snow (GOT) x Reader

➔Michael Myers x nurse!Reader (Halloween)

➔Veronica x Reader x JD (Heathers)

➔Sajanus Plinth x Capitol!Reader (Hunger Games) 

➔Poly!Lost Boys x Reader (The Lost Boys) - How you start dating

➔Bigby Wolf x fable!Reader (The Wolf Among Us)

➔Jerry Dandridge x black vampire!Reader (Fright Night) - You and Jerry have more in common than any of your other neighbors could possibly imagine. (might become a series)

➔Mischa x Reader (Ride the Cyclone) - You like to think you and Mischa are pretty close, you’d go as far as to call him your best friend. So why is it that you haven’t so much as seen a picture of this ‘Talia’?

➔Dennis Reynolds x Reader (IASIP) - Dennis is used to doing the chasing, so much so that he doesn’t even realize when he’s on the receiving end of his own system.

➔Will Graham x killer!Reader x Hannibal (Hannibal)

➔Rick Grimes x Reader (TWD)

➔Derek Hale x Reader (Teen Wolf)

➔Isaac Lahey x Reader (Teen Wolf)

➔Demon!Dean Winchester x Reader (Supernatural)

➔Castiel x angel!Reader (Supernatural)

➔Abed Nadir x Reader (Community)

➔Carlisle Cullen x Reader (Twilight)

➔Spike x Vampire!Reader (Buffy)

➔Kakashi x ex ambu!Reader x Tenzo (Naruto)

➔Sangwoo? X Horrible!Reader (Killing Stalking)

[gregoftom]

and tom makes himself so vulnerable and gets rejected twice!!!

greg doesn't respond right/enough to your my favourite/I'd marry you, when like you say it's such a confession. so then he's like fight me (entangle our bodies together) fight me fight me (grab me hold me let me grab and hold you) (lay with me wrapped around me). and greg's strong verbal rejection, then tom's "I don't want to either!!!" is soooooo telling so insane crazy so heartbreaking!!!

bro is breaking down about prison and just wants some comfort so goes to his actual favourite and bleeds in front of him trying to connect in the most genuine way he never has before/can. and greg gives him a bashful smile and concern but not the tactile love and passion and touch that he's after.

this man needs to be touched!

he's trying so hard to ask for it to instigate it and it's painful being that vulnerable, and then he's opened himself up too much and lost and feels worse than before. and maybe he's not his favourite's favourite. and maybe he's alone and lonely and it's not for lack of trying so there's nothing left for him to do but be hurt. and push greg away (but tom can't ever push greg away for good! because greg's still and always tom's favourite! it's repeated in the bathroom fight and forehead sticker soooo directly!!! you hurt me, I try to hate you, I pull you close and kiss you with care and tenderness).

and now I'm also just thinking about all the times that tom's touched greg and how what that really means is he wants greg to touch him.

(and how in s4 and beyond the finale greg is touchy with him and will be touchy and will rise to fight and grab when tom wants and needs to grab. how tom is greg's favourite too. how greg becomes and grows to be everything tom's needing from him, and it's just from greg becoming so comfortable in they're relationship and wanting tom in turn and caring about tom in turn and being possessive of tom in turn. the verdict is love, your honour!!!! they're married now)

OOF OUCH OUHIES OW OWwwwwwwwwww whywhwwdhywndshuhuhuhufhgughhuuuu [sounds of me crying]

no but exactly like, to have an unrequited fp is like. actually soul crushing and greg is not at the point yet [re: nero sporus scene] where he can trust tom's affection, not only because tom is. well you know, tom, with him, at the start, but because he's been given up on and abandoned before. he also can't really comprehend someone actually wanting him to touch him or him touching someone and it being welcomed either because of how often he is recoiled from or treated like something gross. also it's like. a really heavy thing on someone! he responds nicely but he just can't reach that level yet because why should he trust tom's love like that when people have thrown him around before depending on actions which he can never get right [ewan] or abandoned him to fend for himself even though he's tried to take care of them [marianne].

yeah yeah tom needs touch absolutely. he's always touching greg because his love language is touch [lucky for him greg's is too so that works out when they finally realise that each other is genuine and really does care about one another] and again greg is kinda like. HUH?? because he's so used to people purposefully trying to avoid him physically. he likes it but he can't fully commit to it s1-3 [3.09 is i think the first time he realises that maybe it's okay because he reaches up to hug at first, then decides not to because he doesn't want to frighten tom off, but then tom holds his arms out and he takes tom's shoulders and pulls him in slightly and tom is jostled a little with the force of that hug, like. man.] because he's just like. what is happening? is it real?

and ohghhgnfdf yeah definitely earlier on tom tries to push greg away but just can't which is another reason greg reacts so strongly to tom pushing him away/withholding the love and trust from him in later s4 that he's given earlier on, because wtf man, i thought we were best friends? i thought we were over this shit, i thought i was your confidant? he even asks in america decides, what are we? because he doesn't want to be tom's side piece any more, he wants to be his lover. he doesn't want to be treated as someone who is told in the aftermath. but tom is doing it unintentionally here bc he's so laser focused on getting to a position where he can secure greg like he's so desperate to keep greg with him he ends up pushing him out by accident. he does admit to needing greg specifically but it's not enough, and it leads to greg's actions in the finale - he needs to protect himself because he's not sure if tom still will. everything is so much.

but YEAH ON GOD S4 GREG IS MY ENTIRE ASS FOR THIS REASON. he's soooo. god. he wifes for tom so hard it's actually insane. it becomes very clear to us that greg absolutely adores tom back; he's being carefree with him, laughing openly with him, pressing his whole body to him, being practically glued to him in the sense you won't see one without the other, singing his song, taking care of him, watching out for him, coming into the damn ass wake with him because it makes tom feel safe, being his literal lifeline and not hanging up on him when he needs it most, smashing a bottle in the face of the person who hurts his best friend bc enough is enough. between s3-4 they became best friends which is just so like. deep, and builds a stronger foundation for whatever fucked up lusty thing they had before. possessive greg of tom is my ASS god i wish we had gotten more of that. but at least we have these pics.

[amarbell123]

I always come back Chapter 3

“Cassandra, why don’t you sit next to Gregory? There’s an open seat there.” Gregory cursed himself for not putting his bag on that empty seat, and the new girl came and sat down next to him.

Gregory was unsettled throughout the class, he was 100% certain the new girl was staring at him the whole time. It was not fun. 

The class bell rang, and the teacher told them their homework and left. The next teacher would be here in 5 minutes. Gregory could act as if he needed to use the bathroom and avoid talking to the new girl. There was no way she could be his best friend Cassie who died 5 years ago. They had come to the ruins every night for a whole month to search for her and they couldn’t find her.

Freddy and Vanessa gave up after 2 weeks, but Roxy and Gregory kept coming back to look for her, before they finally accepted that she didn’t survive.

How could she have lived?! “My name’s Cassandra, or Cassie.. I didn’t get to introduce myself to you yesterday.” The girl suddenly spoke up, making Gregory jump. “Y-Yeah nice to meet you!” He responded, cursing himself for sounding so terrified, but can you really blame him? He was about 90% sure he was speaking to a dead girl.

“Are you okay? You seem scared.. Did I do something?” The way she spoke seemed awfully robotic, like she was reading the words off of a script that someone had given her.

“Yeah I'm fine, don’t worry about it.” Gregory responded, giving her a polite smile. Cassie looked away, focusing on doing the homework the teacher had given. 

Gregory took this as an opportunity to just take a breather and plan his next move. He could ask her questions, maybe try to figure out and see if she is his Cassie, but that would just come off as annoying, he was practically poking into her past, maybe if he asked a wrong question, it could lead to her pushing him away entirely. He should play the slow game, maybe gain her trust before actually asking her about that.

“I see that you’re the type of person to do homework in school too.” He said in an attempt to make small talk. “I find it far more efficient, I can return home and do something else, like study, or read.” “Oh yeah, same here. You know, at the end of the school day, I usually go and submit the work to the teacher, she doesn’t mind me doing that, you could maybe join me?” Cassie looked up at him with a blank expression, before nodding. “Sure.” 

Soon the next teacher arrived, and things with the both of them were pretty slow. She didn’t seem to talk much, only when absolutely necessary. That wasn’t like his Cassie. She was way too talkative, even worse than him, and that was saying something, because during every parent-teacher meeting, that was the main thing they complained to Vanessa about.

At the end of the day, Gregory waited outside for Cassie, who had been talking to their biology teacher. Finally when she came out, Gregory smiled at her. “Are you ready to go?” He asked her, to which she nodded.

“Greg, wait!” The two of them looked behind them. Allison and Mason ran up to them. “Hey Greg, new girl.” Mason greeted. “Did you both hit it off? Where are you going?” Allison asked. “Oh. Gregory was just about to take me to the teachers to submit our homework.” “Oh?~ Another one who’s like you Greg?” Mason asked teasingly. “Yeah. Someone who finally understands why submitting work early is beneficial. She has some sense, unlike you two.” Cassie’s mouth curved up in an odd little smile, and that made me smile back. “We should probably go. My mother and father will be waiting for me, so I must not be late.” ‘Mother? Father?’ That made Gregory confused. Cassie’s mother had died when the girl had been 6 years old. Cassie’s father disappeared when she was 9. Certainly this can’t be his Cassie? But there was always a chance a couple found her after she escaped the pizza plex.

“Gregory? Shall we leave?” Cassie’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go.” After bidding a goodbye to his friends, Gregory left with Cassie.

~

“There’s no way that girl can be Cassie. She’s gone! We searched for her for a month!” We were all gathered on the dining table, Roxy and Freddy were seated together, while Vanessa and I ate our food. Freddy seemed reluctant to believe that Cassie survived. “We can never be sure Freddy. There is a very real chance that she could have escaped without us knowing. But I am skeptical that the kid that Gregory has described is the same Cassie is my little Carrots.”

Gregory gave Roxy a look. “Carrots?” Roxy growled at him. “Freddy has a nickname for you, does he not? I had a nickname for my beloved Cassie too.” Greg simply rolled his eyes in response. “Back to the topic at hand, yeah her attitude was.. Weird to say the least. Nothing like how Cassie was 5 years ago. But we can’t say that it isn’t her because of that. Trauma could be a very good reason for it. She did go through a near death experience, and who knows what else after that.” Gregory says to the group. “He has a point, but what about the topic of her parents?” Vanessa asks. “She could’ve been adopted by someone. It’s as simple as that.” 

Vanessa bites down on her bottom lip as she thinks this situation over in her head. “I say that Gregory should spend more time with this girl.. What was her name Gregory?” “Cassandra Nightingale.” “I think Gregory should spend more time with this Cassandra girl, and find out if she’s actually Cassie. And if she is, then great! She’s alive. If she isn’t, Gregory gets another friend at the end of it, a cute friend.” Vanessa bats her eyelashes at him, and Greg just rolled his eyes. “Stop it mama.” “But you’re so painfully single! You have all the options out there, boys and girls! Come on Greg.” “At least I'm not pining over someone and refusing to tell him about it.” There was utter silence at the table.

“I-i’m going to tell him soon..” Vanessa mumbles with a blush. “You said that last month too.”

-

[totally-not-a-tickle-blog]

Can you do like a fanfiction where hellPark Gregory is getting tickled by hellpark stan?

Of course!! Btw I saw the drawing requests, I'll try to do them as soon as possible!

-----------------------------

INFO Lee!Gregory (Hellpark) Ler!Stan (Hellpark)

-----------------------------

"Tickle the rudeness out"

After a long time of "war" between Craig's and Gregory's gang, it's finally over. No more killing, no more traumas. At least, not between them. This truce is a relieve to both of the groups, since ones don't want to die and others don't want to be bothered with that. The only ones who got either mad or sad was Pip, who would end up breaking it at some point. What happened to him wasn't Gregory's problem, the other one who almost refused to agree.

"Even Estella it's okay with it, why wouldn't you? Don't be such a pussy!"

It's what Damien said to him, to finally make him understand a deal it's a deal. Sadly, he couldn't do anything. If the king says, the others listen. It's simple.

After a few days, Tweek wanted to visit Craig, and since even Pip knows what he's able to do, somebody needed to take care of him. Of course… Gregory. Why not him? The perfect person to be a babysitter… …or not.

Either way, he agreed with it. He needed some distraction, and besides, Craig and his group weren't that bad. According to him: they're pathetic. Nothing more, nothing less.

"You know where his house is, right?"

Asked Gregory, while walking with Tweek.

"Of course! I was summoned there, y'know…"

The reason of the question was that… they obviously weren't going to Craig's house. Actually, this place was kinda familiar. A bad type of familiar.

"Then where the hell are we going."

His voice tone changed drastically, making the other scared a bit.

"W-Well, you see… his parents are in his house, and the things we need to talk about are, uh… personal."

"So you're going to make out infront of me. So elegant."

This conclusion made Tweek's face get red almost instantly.

"NONONONO! Of course not!! Actually, Craig said he would call a friend so you won't be alone!"

Silence. Obviously he's not that nice. There's something going on there.

"I already regret."

And finally, after all of this, they saw where they would stay. The worst option of them all. Stan's house.

"Tweek… I hate you so, so much."

He smirked awfully and knocked, waiting for someone to come. Not a minute later, the door open, with an evil laugh and incredibly annoying look coming from the house's owner.

"Hello."

"Oh, h-hi Stan-"

"Craig is in my room, you guys can enter."

And immediately gave them space to go, having himself a space in the couch.

Nobody was in the house, just them. While Craig and Tweek chatted in the bedroom, Gregory and Stan decided to stay in the living room. The only sound coming from there was the TV, because if it depended on them, the place would be completely quiet. They may not be trying to kill each other right now, but the hate still exists. Well, atleast in Gregory's side. But at some point, Stan got tired from doing nothing.

"Hey Greg-"

"DON'T."

Interrupted, showing the face of his palm.

"But I-"

"DON'T. TALK. TO ME."

Four words. Just four words and the boy with blue cap was already angry.

"Look man, I'm trying to start something here-"

"I still hate you, Stan Marsh. So DON'T talk to me."

His little 'fancy ass talking' made everything worse. He wanted to punch this blonde boy so much, but if he did, it would be like giving up on the truce. Besides, he would die for sure. So… what else?

"Gregory, I'll try one more time. And if you interrupt me again, I will…"

The demon was ready to do it.

"I…"

And slowly, the hand and his face were almost touching. This wasn't just increasing the anger, but also making him nervous.

"…I'll tickle this fucking rudeness out of you!"

"You'll what?"

Stan didn't even think of what he would say, but in the end, it seemed to be a good idea.

"Y-Yeah! You heard me, little prince."

"This is ridiculous. Really fits you."

"I wouldn't be so tough if I were you."

This phrase got Greg's attention.

"Was this a threat?"

Stan approached, with an evil smile in their face.

"Maybe."

That face. That damn face. He was so confident, so sure of himself, so... irritating.

"You little shit..."

And just right after, his arm couldn't move anymore, and a tingly sensation past through his body.

"BbbAHA-"

"Little what?"

"yOHOHOU- BAHAHAHaaHA-"

And in matter of seconds, Stan's body was above, preventing him from running away or defend himself properly.

"GEHEHET OFF MEHEHIHI- HAHAHA!"

Even though it didn't tickled that much, Gregory always used to be exaggerated, a real drama queen. And not-so surprinsingly, the other knew it very well.

"Stop being so dramatic Greg's, this don't even tickles that much."

"YOHOU DON'T KNOHO- HIYAAAA"

Just a little tickling in the armpits made them scream like a little girl. A shame for the one being tickled, and pure comedy for the tickler.

"PFFft, what type of scream is that?"

"SHHH- HAHAHA SHUUHU- FUHUHCK! IHIHI KIHIHILL Y... HEHEHEHE!"

"No no Gregory, no using your powers on humans, remember? You must obey the rules~"

His hands kept switching positions between his armpits, ribs and sides, so this made things a little worse. 'Should I protect my sides? But what if he tickles my ribs instead?' These thoughts came all in one, so in the end he couldn't avoid anything. He became a giggly and squirmy mess.

"OHOHOTHER PFFHAHAHA"

"Huh? Other? Like... another place? 'Kay. If you say so."

"NOHOHOHO"

Stan stopped a bit just to take a look at his ticklish spots. This was the perfect opportunity to knock him out and just run, and Gregory obviously knew that. He prepared his punch, got up, and when was finally about to free himself... felt a hug.

"What the..."

This is weird. Definitely weird.

"Let me fucking go you miserable rat!"

The black haired guy smirked.

"Still not out, I see."

And slowly got the fingers into his back, moving them in a silly way.

"pffttTHAHAHATA FUHUHUCK"

The demon was strong, even without his powers he could find a way to find a way to get out, but the ticklishness was just... stronger. His arms and legs got weak.

"Say sorry and this is over, man. Pretty easy, isn't it?"

"AHAHAHA SHIHIHITTT HIHIHEHEHE-"

One or two minutes passed and even Marsh didn't understood why he didn't said anything yet. Gregory may be arrogant, but when it's something they don't like, he give up. Stan thought that maybe it was a spot too 'dangerous', but even when Greg was just giggly, didn't said a thing.

The tickling continued for a while, until Stan stopped suddenly.

"Hahahah... hah... uh... huh?"

...silence. An awful silence.

Gregory stared with a confusing expression, like someone who wanted it to continue. But then, he finally remembered: That's Stan Marsh.

"D-Don't touch me anymore!"

With the space given, the boy got up and walked away, with a shy yet surprising face. 'He didn't realized it.', thought. It was a relieve.

"That's it! I'm calling Estella to take care of Tweek and I'll-"

"...you seemed happy."

'...shit.'

He noticed. He noticed that Gregory was actually having fun.

"E-Excuse me?! This was pure sexual harassment! How DARE you say something..."

A teasy smile grew in Stan's face. He crossed his arms, and did an EXTREMELY visible eye contact.

"C'mon. Confess."

These seconds staring at each other seemed like hours for the one who got tickled just a moment ago. Yes, Stan was right. Completely right. But, if the tickler wasn't him... everything would be easier. Would be better.

"I..."

"Hi."

And finally, after all this time, Craig and Tweek came back. Didn't came when Greg was screaming and laughing, but came now. Better now than never.

"Finally! Tweek, let's go RIGHT. NOW."

Said Gregory, pulling the other by his arm with a little delicacy so he wouldn't hurt him.

"Wha- What happened? And what was all these noises down here? Did he hurt you?"

The same with a red and angry face opened the door and left, leaving in quick steps.

"Nothing, you don't need to know and no, now let's go."

"Bye-bye."

Craig waved slowly, seeing the both of them leaving in a rush. He closed the door and made company to Stan in the couch, changing the TV channel to something more interesting.

"Hey Craig."

"Huh?"

"What's that thing that you and Tweek talked about? Like, to the point you needed to come to my house."

"Oh."

Craig lay down on where he was, with a little smile and bored face.

"Nothing that matters. I just wanted that bastard to suffer in your hands."

Stan cracked a little.

"Then you failed."

[bookloveravenue]

Lionheart Academy (book 3): Regretting You by T. Ashleigh

Tyler- Some days I wish I’d never met Gregory Baldwin. Then there are days when I feel like I’ll die if he’s away for too long. It’s like I’m addicted to him. Addicted to the attention he gives me and what he does to me in secret. He has lips made for sin and a body I can’t keep my hands off of, but mostly, I know he has a heart. That’s what keeps me coming back. Now he’s cruel, malicious, possessive… nothing like the boy I once knew. And yet, deep down, I know that guy is still there under this bad boy exterior. He has to be, or everything we’ve been through is pointless. Being with him feels like dying and surviving all at once. It’s wild, manic, and soul-crushing, but it’s us. He’s all I’ve ever had and the only thing I’ll ever want. Because even when I hate him… I love him ten times harder.

Greg- I’m broken beyond repair, too fucked up to be saved. My mind fights demons daily, while the shattered organ in my chest only causes me pain. I wish I could just end it all. Say goodbye to this miserable existence. Only, to leave this life would mean leaving him, and that’s not something I can do. Once I made a promise to a boy that I plan on keeping. The years may have dragged us apart, and I know he hates me now, but that’s okay. I don’t blame him; I hate myself, too. Regardless of the animosity, one thing remains the same: Tyler. He’s the constant in a haze of self-destruction. The one who somehow, after everything, is still there for me, no matter how badly I mess up. I don’t deserve him. I never did, but I’ll never let him go either. He is mine, and I am his.

Betting You is the third book in The Lionheart Academy series. It's a full length, new adult high school novel with material that may be difficult for some readers. It’s recommended for 18+ due to language and sexual situations. Please read trigger warnings before proceeding.

June 18, 2023

My Review: 5/5 Stars

We finally get Greg and Tyler's story! I've been looking forward to this one. We've seen so much negativity from Greg, I really couldn't wait to see what was going on in his head and see why he was the way he was. And ugh. Be ready for the hurt. This story is pretty heartbreaking for Greg and Tyler as they find their way back to one another. Greg and Tyler became friends when they were kids and Greg's mom was like a second mother to Tyler when his own family was anything but. Both were happy and unknowing to them, slowly falling in love. But everything changed the mom Greg's mother unexpectedly died. Greg was devastated and hurt and scared and he did the one thing he could think of to avoid feeling like this ever again. Pushing away the one other person he loved more than anything: Tyler. But pushing him away was the last thing he should have done because the pain of his loss has only grown worse over the next three years. And things are about to crack. Tyler never forgave Greg for pushing him away and hurting him. He can't understand how he can love and hate someone the way he does Greg. He doesn't want to open himself up to him again just to get hurt, yet he can't help himself. These two hit a point and next thing they know, they are hooking up in secret through their senior year. But there are still so many unresolved issues between the two of them. Things that need to be said. And it's only a matter of time until they'll have no choice. Loved this final story in this series! All the feels. Your heart will ache for the two of them and knowing how much pain they both are in. I just wanted to shake the two of them and demand they just tell the other everything they are feeling. Their story is heartbreakingly beautiful and so worth the wait as they figure themselves out and break down and build themselves back up. Such a beautiful series and I'm so sad to see it end!

I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[vitos-ordination-song]

Ian just became too much the focus of the story I feel. I wanted it to be Jeremy’s story—I would have been happier had it gone the FWWM route and Jeremy had suffered and died alone. Seriously. Bc then at least it would have been on his own terms. Maybe this sounds bad but I think it would have been better if he’d been left alone in Boston. When Ian first went after him it felt like a relief. I really believed that Ian was trying to care and reach out. But no.

It’s not just that Ian is selfish I think—it’s also that he had no idea what the fuck he was doing and he was not qualified to help someone like Jeremy. He made things worse over and over.

If I was in Jeremy’s position, I would have self-destructed out of spite, and honestly he did do that at times. Like, not only can you say that Ian doesn’t get it, but the man also hits Jeremy and sleeps with him and pays him like he’s a prostitute. I don’t care if Jeremy was seductive or if he asked for it or anything else—Ian was capable of not engaging or walking away or hell, giving up on Jeremy. You can’t force these things. I feel like Dr. Olsen was the only character in the entire work who got that.

And like, I don’t really see the Ian/Jeremy dynamic as equal, where both parties are just as manipulative and toxic and abusive. Jeremy never wanted to be hit; he often wasn’t in the right state of mind to be kissing; he was clearly using the relationship as a way to punish himself. On the other hand Ian entered a cycle of abusive/controlling behavior, self-justification, possessiveness, etc., and then he’d feel bad and try to help Jeremy, but he never STOPPED til the very end. I can’t feel glad this character has decided to take off his father’s mask when he’s just gonna put it on again.

I don’t like the mixing of care and abuse. It frightens me even more than the pure sadism of Greg. And my question is, am I supposed to see Ian as a better option? Are Jeremy and Ian less of a dirty secret? Why is Jeremy looked at as if he’s always doing something Just As Bad by being a prostitute and drug user. I mean, Gilbert was a very complicated character who actively did harm others—but because Jeremy’s life was founded on love and sacrifice, he imploded inward, choosing to harm himself and not others as much as possible.

The end of the work didn’t give me the impression that the story was about how a boy ended up in a bad relationship with the son of the man who sadistically abused him. It gave me the impression I was supposed to be glad these ~two broken people~ still hang out and do romantic stuff even if they probably won’t fuck anymore. I might have been okay with that. I think a story about two boys who end up in an unhealthy quasi-incestuous relationship but chose to stop their sexual contact as they mature could be interesting. But I never felt like Ian crossed the threshold of actual love for Jeremy—unselfish concern for his well-being. It was always about what Ian wanted.

I strongly disliked The Kite Runner, which I read in high school, for similar reasons. In that book, a privileged boy turns a blind eye to his childhood friend’s rape and even takes part in the other boy’s torment. I found the writing gripping and read it all in one day, only to be left disappointed. I related to the main character, but the work ultimately rendered him unlikable. He learns that that other boy was his half brother who his father shafted bc he was illegitimate; he’s told that his friend and brother had forgiven him before dying; and he’s told that he’s been given a perfect chance to redeem himself—save his nephew from abuse. As a teenager with regrets, I was immediately like, of course you would want to take that chance! But the main character had to be bitched into it, did it reluctantly, complained, but because he sorta tried I’m supposed to find him a good guy at the end??? (Also the plot is very stupid.)

With Ian, it’s personal for me lol. For one thing I was a favorite child of my father and had many an opportunity to turn a blind eye to that. I was the little princess as a small child, loved while others were abused. I have adopted siblings. I’ve seen some really fucked up stuff happen to other people. I’ve had to decide between abusive parents and siblings. I’ve had to decide whose narrative I accept. I’ve had to try to help someone when it is not easy at all. I’ve been tempted to do the wrong thing, including sexual harm to others. And I decided from age 13 that I would kill myself before I touched a child or anyone against their will. It was something I was so terrified of doing because it was a reality I was hyper aware of before I even developed a sex drive. And I’ve done things to people that I can’t take back, but I have to the best of my abilities apologized for things and tried to change my ways and reduced contact with people who will harm me or people I may harm, while still trying to mend gaps when I can. I can’t forgive people like Ian. I can’t forgive the weakness and the selfishness. I don’t care if he did anything good.

Another comparison point is Koe no Katachi. That story is a romance between a bullying victim and their former bully. The bully character suffers and bears the full responsibility for his past actions, even if he wasn’t the only one at fault at the time. The way he makes up to the girl he used to bully is by actually being there for her! Him no longer abusing her is treated as the bear minimum and he actually has to prove himself and love her as an equal! I know that Jeremy is a really messed up person and is not easy to help, but if Ian couldn’t handle it, he has money. If you want to say that Jeremy would have died on his own, and so Ian was justified in forcing things, okay, but why not just pay for Jeremy to have a decent life? If he actually cared why would he let himself be provoked? Why does he never deescalate?

It’s making me think of this one documentary called Healing Homes which looked at a therapy program where troubled individuals were placed w a farm family and had a therapist in tandem. A family interviewed had a girl who would get violent and flipped a table. You can’t just ignore someone in a state like that. It’s possible for someone going thru distress to be a threat to themselves or others. What the mother of the family did was grab the girl and forcibly hold her down til she stopped struggling, told her to stop in a commanding but not hurtful way, and then tried to get through to her emotionally, with care. You know what Ian did half the time? Start treating Jeremy the exact way his father did!! That’s fine as a storytelling choice but don’t tell me it’s love! And it’s so crazy in a story which is otherwise v astute on these issues! What happened there?

[dirt-grub]

oh god if you look at otgw the like objective way of the unknown being an in between of life and death that they experienced in the water that means wirt absolutely was just gonna give up but the thought of greg in his subconscious mind was what made him wake up and bring them both to safety

[nonotnolan]

Could be Worse, Right?

“Hey, wake up.”  Greg paused for a few moments, trying and failing to identify the unfamiliar voice before considering the command that it was giving him.  His head was pounding-- did he really have a headache from the massive house party that his roommate had thrown last night?  Usually they kept the music low enough that the neighbors couldn’t file noise complaints.  “Dude.  Seriously.  Wake up.”  Greg blinked a few times, trying to register why he had fallen asleep in the living room instead of upstairs in his own bedroom.  Or why he was wearing a wife-beater and some shorts.  Or why his arms looked completely wrong.

Greg could feel his chest start to tighten in panic as he examined the changes that had happened over night.  It was almost as if...

“Yeah, yeah.  We changed bodies, dude.  Can we speed this part up already?  I’m meeting up with the guys this afternoon for half-price wings.”

Greg jolted awake, planting his feet onto the floor as he looked over at his own body, staring at him from across the room.  “You... Caleb, what did you do?  Fix this!  Change us back!”

Caleb just stared at him.  “You don’t really think I did this on purpose, do you?  I swear to God, this was the only passable shirt you had in your entire closet.  How many gamer t-shirts does one guy need to have?”

Greg paused, cradling his head in his hands.  It was hard to believe any of this was happening, but at the same time he couldn’t very well disbelieve what he was seeing with his own eyes.  Well, with Caleb’s eyes, anyway.  The hangover he’d gotten stuck with from Caleb’s drinking last night was not helping things.  “Okay, well... if you didn’t do this... how are you so calm?”

“For one thing, I’ve been awake for three hours.  I’ve already had time to freak out about this.  But, mostly... I pissed off Mandy again last night, so I figured something like this was coming.”  Caleb paused, waiting to see Greg’s reaction.  “You know, my girlfriend’s best friend?  The town’s resident Witch bitch?”  Caleb let out an exasperated sigh as Greg shook his head.  “Okay, well-- Mandy’s a witch, and anytime Steph goes running to her with a problem, she decides to fix it with magic instead of talking it out like a reasonable person, because Mandy is a fucking psycho.  Sometimes I wake up with pencil arms, sometimes I wake up like a ken doll... this time I woke up as you.  She probably decided I was being too vain or some shit, I don’t know.  Anyway, this usually wears off after a week or so.  Sorry you got caught up in this shit.”

Greg nodded, trying to listen to what Caleb was saying at the same time as he was exploring the muscles on his new body.  “Yeah, I guess that’s... wait, an entire week?  Are you serious?”

Caleb shrugged.  “It’s not like it’s my fault.  I’ll try to smooth things over with Mandy, but... again.  She’s a bitch.  No clue why Steph is still friends with her.  Look at it this way-- with remote classes, no one will ever know that you’re not in the right body.  Could be worse, right?”

--------------------------------------------------

“Caleb.  It’s been three weeks.  How much longer is this going to take?”  Greg found himself fidgeting with the tails of his shirt, a habit that he had carried over from his previous life.  He’d been rehearsing this speech for almost a day now, and cornering Caleb in a post-gym exhaustion was going to be his best bet at getting a captive audience.

Caleb threw his keys onto the nearby end table before looking at his roommate.  “Look, I’m working on it.  Mandy keeps getting pissy at me because ‘I am not learning my lesson’ or some shit.  I don’t know what you want me to do about it.”

“I want you to suck up to her,” Greg said.  “Apologize.  Tell her she’s fucking up my life as well as yours.  Something!”

“Tried that,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.  “Besides, are you really getting the short end of the stick, here?  I know you’ve been fucking twinks on the down-low in my body.”

“It- it was just a date!” Greg said, feeling his cheeks flush with embarrassment.  “And it was just one time!  I made sure to keep it anonymous and everything.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Caleb said, kicking off his shoes under the end table.  “You can have as much sex as you want, just don’t give my body herpes.  It’s not like Steph and I haven’t taken out this dick for a spin.”  He smiled as he grabbed at his bulge, giving Greg an exaggerated wink.

“Caleb, what the fuck!” he said, raising an arm in protest.

Caleb just shook his head.  “Look, I’ve been taking your body to the gym four times a week.  Have you seen the amount of definition you’ve been gaining on your chest and shoulders?  The way I see it, we’re even.  Another week or two, Mandy will get bored, she’ll switch us back, and you’ll get to enjoy these sick new abs.”

“I mean...  Okay, yeah, I appreciate that and all... but you’re just trying to distract me, here.  It’s been three weeks, Caleb!  I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

Caleb rolled his eyes.  “Alright, tell you what.  If we’re still in each other’s bodies by next week, I’ll let you fuck me.  Does that sound good?”  He smiled, seeing Greg wrestle with the moral dilemma in his head.  “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have sex with myself, and I don’t know that I’ll ever get another chance.  And just look at how good your ass looks in these gym shorts, dude.”  Caleb smiled, twisting around to give him a full view of its curves.

“Goddammit, fine,” Greg said, pounding the kitchen counter in anger.  “You’ve got a deal.  One more week.  But that’s it, okay?”

“Scout’s honor,” Caleb said, raising his right hand.

In fact, Mandy had deactivated the body swap spell two weeks ago.  But until one of them wanted to return to their own bodies, both he and Greg would remain swapped.  Caleb certainly wasn’t in any sort of rush to return to his own body.  Steph had developed a crush on his gay roommate, and this was the easiest way to fulfill her fantasies.  They’d had more sex these last three weeks than they’d had in the rest of their five month relationship.  It didn’t hurt that Greg’s nine inch cock exceeded his own average dick.

As long as Greg believed the spell was still active, as long as Greg still had a reason to want to be in Caleb’s body... they would remain swapped.  Could be worse, right?

[mycrofts-gunbrella]

Caring is the Greatest Advantage- Part 3 (Mycroft Holmes x Reader)

AN- Thank you for the patience for this one! My little boy has been unwell so it has taken a little longer than I had hoped but here is the third instalment! It’s a little shorter than the others but that’s because I wanted to contain the angsty part in one chapter, the next ones will hopefully be longer..

This one is a little more angsty, a lot more emotional, but I’m quite happy with the outcome and I hope you are too! As usual, please let me know any thoughts/feedback! And enjoy!

Word Count: 2510

"Is it just me that finds Stephen Fry a bit.. sexy?" You spoke, watching the television as Young Ones' Scumbag College competed on University Challenge. "I don't know what it is about him. He's just.. got such a lovely voice, and he's so sodding clever and his CLOTHES- got much better looking with age, mind." Mycroft only hummed, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

"Hmm.. He's not really my type." You laughed and petted his head fondly.

"You don't have to be gay to find another man attractive Myc." You mused. "Me and Greg talk about it all the time, though he fancies Hugh Laurie more, especially in Blackadder." You laughed, thinking back on the memory of Greg's fondness of George in the Blackadder Goes Forth series.

"I'm aware that sexuality and attraction are not the same, Y/N. I am comfortable enough in my own heterosexuality to appreciate another man's features. In fact, I very much agree with Gregory's view on Mr Laurie. Stephen, however, is not my type. The few people that did speak to me in University used to tell me I reminded them of him in the way I behaved but, and I quote, 'without even a lick of his humour, you miserable bastard.' Thus, I cannot look at him in that way." He laughed a little and you cleared your throat.

"Oh.. uh, yeah I guess that makes sense. Not the humour part though, you're actually hilarious and they missed out big time." You tried to avoid the point where you'd deemed Stephen Fry sexy in every way he was similar to the man who was laying in your lap, and just hoped he wouldn't bring that up.

"He definitely got the looks side of things though, particularly as General Melchett in Goes Forth, though I am not particularly fond of the facial hair." He screwed up his nose in distaste, you fighting every ounce of your control to not say he looked a bit cute. "And certainly didn't have the waistline that 21 year old Mycroft had."

"Speaking in the third person now, are we? Well, Mycroft, Y/N is comfortable enough in her friendship that Y/N thinks Mycroft can be sexy in his own ways too." You teased, partly embarrassed, but equally just trying any way to improve the man's confidence, even by a little. Mycroft choked a little on his own saliva and had to sit up to regain his own breath. Too far? "Sorry." He shook his head 'no' but didn't speak. In his moments of regaining his composure, Mycroft watched you. Processed in his head what you had said- 'was it a joke?', he couldn't read anything on you that would suggest that, though his eyes were glassy from the choking- watched as you panicked, then subsiding the panic to concern as you made sure he was okay. All these things, he thought, he didn't deserve. He took a deep breath and reached for the television remote, pausing the show and settling back on the other side of the sofa. It had to be done now. Done while his brain was allowing it, before he got attached... before he got attached even more. He couldn't keep pretending it was okay, keep accepting your compliments and your kindness, couldn't allow himself to go any further in his.. attraction?

It was always unspoken between the two of you- your not so subtle hints to Mycroft over the last few years hadn't got unnoticed, Mycroft would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he felt the same way, though this was perhaps the most open you had been; he would always put it off, try to think of reasons why you shouldn't be more than whatever you are now- most of the time it circles back to work, your busy schedule at the Yard and his unpredictable working hours mostly, saying to himself that it would simply be pointless, that you wouldn't see each other. But he knew that was a lie- you see him as often as you can, even if it's just for an hour on lunch, and everyone knows he would do his best to move empires to have you over for dinner had it been a while, quite literally actually.

Then there was age, you were in your mid-to-late twenties, he in his forties, though that argument also fell flat after you had mentioned your last long term relationship had been with a man your elder, amongst many of your interests in celebrity males that you had mentioned being closer to his age than yours- and, on his behalf, it was usual for a Politician to walk into formal dinners with a younger woman on arm. In the end, it all went back to the real reason Mycroft put everything off, a reason he hated admitting to even himself. Mycroft was scared.

Having been the age he is with no sexual experience, no previous relationships, and not even many friendships, he was terrified he would humiliate himself and you would leave him completely. You were both adults, both clever, you both knew there was always 'something' there, but without you ever acting upon it, Mycroft decided to live his life keeping you as a friend rather than risk not having you at all. He felt guilty enough having you here anyway. He couldn't allow you to keep stroking his hair like that, or letting you sleep in his bed with him, hold him as he snored, when it was for completely other desires in his own mind, not without speaking to you. No, that wouldn't be fair- even if he didn't fully understand everything himself and was still incredibly scared. You needed to know the truth, about everything, and, if there were the slightest chance you'd forgive him, he had decided he couldn't wait any longer, couldn't put it off anymore, he wanted you to carry on doing those things, wanted to continue the nights you would stay in his bed. But Mycroft wanted it to change, he wanted to be able to start the night with a ghost of his hand on your hip, without waiting until you were asleep to bring himself to have that courage, to wake up next to you and not feel the awkward need to move so soon, just to stay a little longer. Christ, Mycroft wanted every cliché in the book with you, and it took him until yesterday to realise how much he wanted that, after nearly losing you. And he needed you to know, even if it risked it all.

"Y/N I-"

"I know, I'm sorry, I took it too far I was just messing about.. Not that I didn't mean it, I wasn't joking about you.. You are very attractive, but it was inappropriate.. I shouldn't have said it.. I just wanted to help.. though I don't think it did, might have made it worse, actually.. Didn't want to say anything and let you find out.. like that.. not that it matters.. because I AM happy JUST being your friend, over the moon, actually.. so I don't want you to think I ruined that... Because I know you don't feel.. like that.. and you're not saying anything which is scaring me a little because you're always talking.. Not that I don't like that.. I love you talking to me, you've got a lovely voice.. and.. and I'm going to shut up again.. sorry.. again.." You rambled, a lot, too much.. far too much. Mycroft tried to process everything, his eyes closing at every word. You were making this so much harder for him, admitting everything like that. Mycroft hunched forward in his position and braced his elbows on his knees, index and middle finger of each hand holding the weight of his head by his temples.

"No just.. Just stop talking for a moment." Mycroft snapped, cutting you off as your mouth opened to speak a little, the small jump back made his gaze soften. "Please." He spoke softer, apologetic. "I can't.. talk about that.. not yet. Not until you know.." You went to speak again but his head tilted, eyes containing a rare glaze of vulnerability, trying to stay in contact with your own but constantly dropping back to his lap- a silent plea to stay quiet, be patient and just give him a moment. And you did. Turning your body completely sideways, you crossed your legs on the sofa, hands resting folded in your lap as you encouraged him to continue with a brief nod of your head. "I fear if I don't tell you of yesterday's happenings in this very moment that I never shall, and that is far too selfish, even of me." He took a deep breath in. "But I just.. need a moment. A few, likely, throughout." You nodded your head again.

From there, Mycroft began to explain everything that had happened, told you of his sister, where she had taken him, Sherlock and John, what she spoke about, what she tried to get them to do. His voice cracked every so often, knuckles whitened as his fists clenches, creases formed in his trousers where he squeezed his hand on them, but you listened to every word and stayed silent- eyes welling with small tears. Mycroft spoke of the screen, told you of the snipers that were out there, targeting Ms Hudson and Molly. Your body stiffened as he added Lestrade to the list, feeling your throat tighten a little at the mere thought of losing Greg. Mycroft pressed on, told you about how Eurus tried to make Sherlock choose between him and John, told you how he'd tried to convince Sherlock to just shoot him, how Sherlock refused and threatened to shoot himself. His voice went breathless at the end of that, the idea of losing his brother so easily still fresh in his mind. You loosened your sitting position and leaned over, taking Mycroft's hand in your own and squeezing. He sighed again and closed his eyes.

"Please, don't." He whispered, trying to fold his hand into a fist to escape your embrace. You didn't let go and offered your other hand on his back in support as you watched a stray tear fall down his cheek. "I said don't!" He shouted, moving from your touch and standing up from the sofa, beginning to pace as his face contorted into more pain, another tear following the path of the last. You sat back, watched him, didn't take the anger to heart. "It was my fault! All of it!" He ran his hands through his hair and tugged, moving them after to wipe the droplets from his cheek.

"Myc it's ok-"

"It isn't okay Y/N! No part of any of this is even remotely close to okay!" He stilled now, posture going back rigid as he looked at you, eyes bloodshot and glassy. He told you of his Birthday present to Eurus- five unsupervised minutes with Moriarty- and started his pacing again. "A man died yesterday because of me. Sherlock, John, Greg, Ms Hudson, Molly. They all almost died yesterday. You almost... you almost died yesterday." His breath hitched again, lip softly quivering at the end of his words. You tensed a little and frowned, confused and urging him to elaborate. "They weren't the only people on the screens, not the only ones with a red dot on their heads, Y/N." Gaze avoiding you now, turned completely to face the wall rather than look at you at all- giving him a chance to compose himself, steadying his voice. "I saw you, you were happy, just dancing and making tea, but at any moment you could have... and it would have been my fault. And I know I should have told you yesterday, it was selfish of me using you the way that I have without letting you know everything. You could have been gone before I could tell you everything, before I could explain how I feel about you, and it all came rushing to me the moment I saw your face on that screen. I’m so sorry, for everything, for ignoring everything, for being the reason you almost-" The last thing Mycroft had expected was the feeling of arms around his waist, the feeling of a head resting between his shoulder blades, soaking the shirt with tears. You sniffed, holding onto him tighter as you cried into his back.

"It's okay Mycroft." You spoke, voice croaking from tears. "They're okay.. I'm okay. And you're going to be okay. I'm not going anywhere." The relief Mycroft felt from your words ran through his body as he slumped a little, left hand holding on to where yours joined on his stomach, his right lifting to his eyes where, in a very rare moment, he allowed himself to weep.

***

Neither of you were too sure on how long you stayed like that, Mycroft being held in your arms as he quietly cried into his hand, you into his back, but it was long enough that your feet were beginning to ache and Mycroft had become silent a short while ago. You attempted to loosen your grip but Mycroft quickly grabbed back at your hands, holding them to him again. You changed your tactic and instead circled round until your hands remained together on his back, you now at his front and you gave him one last squeeze before guiding him backwards to the sofa, taking your place next to him but keeping your arms around him.

"I'm sorry." His voice was broken, quieter than usual. You shook your head and fought the urge to cry again.

"Don't." You spoke, sliding a hand down to hold his own that rested on his thigh. "Don't apologise Myc. You didn't do anything on purpose, you were just trying to be a good person.. a good brother. We're both still alive. Sherlock, John, Greg, Ms Hudson, Molly, they're all fine, and I have no doubt that it was partly due to you that they are still okay- whatever the three of you did in there, it worked, and that's all that matters to me." Mycroft shifted, his eyes finding yours once more, scanning, searching, trying to find anything that showed you were lying, that you didn't trust him anymore, but he couldn't find anything.

"But I-" You placed a hand at the back of his neck and leaned forward slightly, your lips meeting his briefly for a few seconds before pulling back. It wasn't desperate, or longing, or out of lust- it was everything Mycroft needed. Everything that let him know that you weren't going anywhere, that you still wanted to be around him, to be with him. He relaxed but didn't speak, his hand beneath yours just turning to allow your fingers to lace together as he let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. You rested your head against his shoulder, smiling softly as you felt his own rest atop yours before falling into a comfortable silence.

[padawanlost]

Something I've noticed recently over the past few months is this trend where people have been diagnosing Anakin with narcissistic personality disorder instead of C-PTSD or BPD, the more commonly seen diagnoses. I personally disagree, but I wanted to hear your "two sense" on the matter if you will, you're one of the best meta-writers on this site.

It’s because people don’t like Anakin as presented on screen. They want Anakin to be as selfish and arrogant as possible so they can blame him from everything that happened. If it’s ALL about Anakin than everyone else can be left off the hook. 

Anakin ‘I don’t want to be a problem’ Skywalker is clearly narcissistic. I mean, he fits all the signs:

Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration

“Ten years in this place, and still he was an object of interest. Of speculation. All their hopes and dreams hanging on him like decorations on a bantha skeleton at Boonta Eve. He hated it.” [Clone Wars: Wild space, Karen Miller]

Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance

“You would forgo your destiny for Padmé?” Anakin’s brows beetled in anger. “I never claimed to be the Chosen One. That was Qui-Gon. Even the Council doesn’t believe it anymore, so why should you?” [ James Luceno. Labyrinth of Evil]

Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it

Anakin bumped his hand against [Obi-wan]. “Wait. Just—wait.” Embarrassed, he took a deep breath. “Look. Don’t take this the wrong way. It’s just—it’s the mission, right? That’s what matters. So—”  “Anakin.” Obi-Wan’s whisper sounded amused. “It’s fine. I was about to suggest it myself when the droids turned up.”  “You were?”  “Play to your strengths and minimize your weaknesses. That’s how a battle is won. That’s how we’ll win the war.”  Anakin had to smile. I should’ve known he wouldn’t take it personally. “Yeah. So—once I’m up and over and nobody raises the alarm, give me a five-count then follow. I’ll give you the best Force boost I can. Not that you’ll need much. Your leap was only a meter and a half behind Master Windu’s. Remember?”  Obi-Wan gave a breathy chuckle. “I remember I had nosebleeds for a week afterward. Don’t ever feel bad for being extraordinary, Anakin. Now off you go. We don’t have all night.” [Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

Take advantage of others to get what they want

“He thought of how unflinchingly loyal Anakin was to anyone he considered a friend.” [Matthew Stover’s Revenge of the Sith]

Exaggerate achievements and talents

He was the Chosen One, they told him. He was supposed to bring balance to the Force. Anakin thought that some little extra support might go with being the Chosen One, a helping hand or at least some understanding from the Jedi Council, but instead he was passed around like an unwelcome burden, ending up with Qui-Gon Jinn and then Kenobi because nobody else would have him. His chosen status meant less than nothing; it felt more like a stigma. And they wondered why he was difficult at times. Maybe they didn’t want balance, whatever that was. Maybe nobody liked a Jedi who was that different. He felt like an embarrassment to them. I do everything you ask of me. I try so hard. When is it going to be enough? When are you going to say, “Okay, Anakin Skywalker, you’re good enough”? Karen Traviss’s The Clone Wars

Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate

Impatience. Concern. Relief. Loneliness. Weariness. And grief, not yet healed. Such a muddle of emotions. Such a weight on [Anakin]’s shoulders. Months of brutal battle had left [Ahsoka] drained and nearly numb, but it was worse for Anakin. He was a Jedi general with countless lives entrusted to his care, and every life damaged or lost he counted as a personal failure. For other people he found forgiveness; for himself there was none. For himself there was only anger at not meeting his own exacting standards. [Karen Miller’s Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people

It’s not just Skywalker’s rank that makes us give him one hundred percent. It’s because he treats us with respect, and he puts himself on the line with us.” [The Clone Wars by Karen Traviss]

Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior

Having worked their way around the village, finding nothing to wake their uneasily sleeping sense of alarm, Obi-Wan and Anakin returned to the beaten-dirt square and the charter house. Its doors were open now and a woman who had to be Teeba Brandeh stood on the broad step, hands on her narrow hips, watching the children scatter across the square to play a proper game of kickball. Grinning, without bothering to ask if he might, or if it were wise, or if they had the time to spare, so independent these days, Anakin jogged to join them. After a moment’s amazed hesitation the children welcomed him with squeals of delight, rough-and-tumbled him into their midst and made him one of their own. Obi-Wan shook his head. “He’s nice,” said the girl with the bracelet and the ragged hair, wandering over to stand beside him. “Don’t be cross with him, Teeb Yavid.” Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Siege

“Oh, no,” said Anakin, grinning. “It was fun too.”  May the Force give me strength. “And that business with the boy? Because when I said no heavy lifting I—” Anakin’s amusement vanished.  “He wasn’t heavy. These younglings are skin and bone. I look at them and—” He clenched his jaw.  ”Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Siege

Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations

[Anakin] did not like the fact that he had won. It seemed wrong that he had stepped so far out of line, and yet had been retained as a Padawan. He did not like the unease this victory, if victory it was, produced in him. Above all weaknesses, arrogance was the most costly. They keep me here because I have potential they’ve never seen before. They keep me in training because they’re curious to see what I can do. I feel like a rich man who never knows whether his friends are true-or whether they just want his money. This was a particularly galling thought, and certainly neither true nor fair. Why do they put up with me, then? Why do I keep testing them? [Greg Bear’s Rogue Planet]

Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others

“I’m sorry. I’m not normally this stupid. I just—” And then she felt her face crumple and heard herself sob. Her knees buckled and she began to sink toward the floor. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she choked. “Don’t mind me. I’m fine.” [Anakin] caught her before she tumbled completely. Lifted her without effort and carried her to the sofa. Boneless and unprotesting, she let him. Let her face turn to his roughly shirted, dirty chest and howled her rage and shame against him. Dimly, she felt his hand warm and comforting on her back and heard his soft voice saying, over and over, “It’s all right. It’s all right. You’re safe now. It’s all right.” The crazy thing was that she did feel safe. For the first time since those Separatist blaster bolts seared the air and sand of Niriktavi Bay, since she saw her friends and colleagues slaughtered, she felt safe. Then, abruptly, she felt mortified. What was she doing? Weeping like a child all over a man young enough to be her son? Where was her pride? She shifted away from him, unable to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—I’m sorry.” “Don’t apologize,” he said gently. “You’ve got a right to be upset. Now, where’s that medkit?”Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth 

Be envious of others and believe others envy them

The Jedi Council didn’t want me, either. Being the Chosen One didn’t count for anything. Master Yoda wouldn’t train me, or Windu. Every member of the Jedi Council had had something more pressing to do than help him work out what this terrible, galaxy-changing power of his meant, and how he should live in its shadow. He still wasn’t sure. Anakin recalled standing there in that grand, polished Jedi Council Chamber, surrounded by what felt like fear, and disdain, and bewilderment—who were those Masters to feel bewildered, that the only person there who cared if he lived or died was Master Qui-Gon Jinn.  [Karen Traviss. The Clone Wars]

[Anakin] had worried that Obi-Wan did not have room for him in his heart. But Shmi’s smile rose in Anakin’s mind. Hearts have infinite room, my son. JUDE WATSON’S THE TRAIL OF THE JEDI

Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious

The fear and dread in her face eased, just a little. “You’re a very sweet young man, Anakin Skywalker.” [Karen Miller’s Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

[Anakin] humbles me, sometimes. He makes me feel small. He can’t see a broken thing without wanting to fix it. [Karen Miller’s Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

“I don’t know,” she said, floundering. “I can’t say I’ve ever given the Jedi much thought. I mean, not as individuals. I never expected to meet one—let alone two. I don’t tend to go places where your skills are needed. But—well—you’re gentle.” [Karen Miller’s Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office

“I’m not giving him to you,” [Anakin]’d told her. “He’s not even really mine to give; when I built him, I was a slave, and everything I did belonged to Watto. Cliegg Lars bought him along with my mother; Owen gave him back to me, but I’m a Jedi. I have renounced possessions. I guess that means he’s free now. What I’m really doing is asking you to look after him for me.”  “Look after him?”  “Yes. Maybe even give him a job. He’s a little fussy,” he’d admitted, “and maybe I shouldn’t have given him quite so much self-consciousness—he’s a worrier—but he’s very smart, and he might be a real help to a big-time diplomat … like, say, a Senator from Naboo?”Matthew Stover. Revenge of the Sith 

[sigurdjarlson]

Your writing is always so convincing, I've never walked away disagreeing with even ONE of your posts, and I can be pretty inflexible abt some of my headcanons. So... any unusual headcanons, or wild AU ideas, or really *anything* you wanna share? (At this point you could trollpost and I'd still give it a fair shot, you've more than earned it!)

Skjskdkdkckd that’s extremely flattering thank you so much 🧡🧡

Hmmm the au im probably most attached to is my Kenstar Gregco party boy au because I feel like they really missed some good opportunities with Kendall and Greg. If they would have deepened the relationship between them it would have hit far harder when Greg turns on him and when Kendall calls him a parasite

(Tw: mentions of drug use, addiction, etc)

(It could have also been more of a obvious turning point for Greg morality wise because he’s turning on someone he genuinely is close too and loves him and vice versa) .

It doesn’t hit particularly hard in the show because they’ve never really given them any meaningful emotional scenes with them truly bonding.

And that’s a shame because I can see where it could have fit in there. I feel Ken was in a really vulnerable place here, he’s estranged from his dad and all of his siblings.

And so in this au Ken kind of latches onto Greg, big brother instincts kicking in. He’s his little (okay not so little) cousin and he’s the only one on his side.

Greg latches on back because as we know he’s deeply desperate for affection and some sort of familial relationship. It’s like having a big brother.

Ken is more genuine with his care here. He wants to look after Greg in his way but he’s also still Ken and prone to self destruction and it all goes to shit for both of them

(Greg is also in a slightly vulnerable position himself because Nic does say the Greg Sprinkles thing was a turning point for Greg because he really did realize they don’t give a shit about him. That’s how little they think of him. It’s partly why he chose to go with Ken.)

I just see a lot of potential here, if they’d let Greg actually have a close relationship with Kendall here. It could have been good for both characters. (Well not good per se but in a character development and exploration sense)

But yeah for my own purposes it’s a lot of Greg whump I admit it. (And I do truly love Ken too. I was honestly disappointed by how lacking in substance the brief Ken and Greg team up thing was)

So like I said they end up becoming really close but here’s the thing Ken is on his own spiral of self destruction and Greg is getting pulled along for the ride.

And it’s fun at first. Ken’s parties. It’s drugs, drinking wild parties and all the stuff that is fun at first.

And a lot of this came about from me building on Greg’s “I don’t do white drugs!” and how he’s gone from that to asking Roman for bumps in bathrooms in canon. And I feel that could have been a much bigger and much more tragic arc.

(Especially if his mother has an addiction problem like some people theorize)

And how Ken’s influence could have become much worse during their team up. Lbr I can totally see him encouraging him to do drugs with him. It’s not a big deal he tells himself. It’s good to see Greg loosen up and have fun. They have fun together. They’re both riding the high of thinking they’re these rebels with a good cause and getting one over on Logan.

I think about how Nic says Greg never feels safe. How he said nothing feels good for Greg, everything is bad all the time and he just wants something that feels good in his life. That’s..a dangerous combo with something like drugs.

And Ken, oh Ken, recklessly encourages this. Not because he wants to ruin Greg but because he wants someone he cares about and who cares about him by his side. He’s a Roy and he’s selfish. He doesn’t think about potential consequences because he doesn’t want to. He kind of needs him at this point. He’s not going to tell him to leave even if maybe he should.

(And if he feels guilty when things start getting bad he tries to push it down and pretend he doesn’t see himself in Greg. Pretend he isn’t partially responsible for this)

And as they grow closer Greg does open up to Ken too (sighs in I wish they’d let Greg be emotionally vulnerable in the show. He’s clearly got his own bundle of issues) and lbr Ken doesn’t know how to properly support him when he’s spiraling himself. To him giving Greg a line and saying “here. It’ll make you feel better, man.” Is a kindness.

Tom is naturally a part of this au of course. Oho I am a sucker for hurt/comfort okay

Tom is still pretty damn set on getting Greg to come back to his side but here Greg is more stubborn. It’s extremely frustrating for him.

And he feels an odd sort of twinge of worry whenever he checks Greg’s social media and it’s pictures of him Ken and they’re both clearly fucking stoned out of their minds. When Greg tells him stories that are apparently supposed to be funny but just make Tom’s stomach turn for some reason.

He just can’t shake the worry he’s going to end up like Ken.

And he gets more concerned when every time he shows up at Greg’s apartment it’s some kind of fucking party and Greg is either snorting god knows what or already too stoned and drunk to make much sense of what Tom is trying to say to him

And Tom tries to think well, Greg is young right? (People forget he’s supposed to be at the very most like 25) So of course he’s out partying?

And he calls Tom often when he’s high because he’s in love with Tom and says things he’d never say sober. (Never a explicit confession though. Greg doesn’t even realize what these feelings are or he’s refusing to think about it)

And it’s still Tom Greg calls when it’s not so fun anymore. (If he’s not quite able he always asks for Tom. Ken doesn’t get it but he calls him nonetheless…or maybe he does but he chooses not to ask any questions about that)

It’s Tom that notices the white powder on his suit at work and it’s Tom he snaps at, getting defensive, when he brings it up.

Greg doesn’t appreciate his “do you want to end up like Ken?” Because here he kind of idolizes him if only because Ken seems to be the only member of his family to love him. (And he does in this au but he’s just so fucked up)

(Yeah Tom is technically family too but he doesn’t really consider Tom family in the same way he does his cousins obviously. They’re not blood related. It’s through his marriage to Shiv)

And If it was once or twice maybe Tom could brush it off but it keeps happening. More and more frequently over time. And it gets more concerning.

Ken is spiraling. Just like in canon it gets increasingly worse. He’s been spiraling for a very long time but Greg is along for the ride on his own fall.

I’ll stop here because I have SO MANY Greg whump scenarios for this au okay skfjdkk. Also I love building on his daddy issues (and mommy issues too) and exploring those. Etc.

[hotchley]

some cute hotch/rossi headcanons

I refuse to call them Hossi. I just refuse.

Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY @whoreforthebauteam!! You’re real present will come at some point but it’s taking forever so... have these instead? I love you x

Also it was so hard to make all of these wholesome like do you know how much angst I wanted to put in but refrained because they’re meant to be a birthday present??

Hotch is always really cold and Rossi is always really warm and Rossi is always complaining about that, but he secretly loves it because it means he hold Aaron and warm him up

Rossi is one of the few people that actually knows what Hotch’s preferred coffee is (this is because he made the wrong one when they were at home and Hotch was less guarded and spat it out) so he’s always the one to make it for him and none of the team ever know what goes into it

When Dave proposed, he had this really elaborate plan in mind but he also knew that wouldn’t be what Aaron wanted, so he ended up doing it at home when they were in bed. Aaron walked in with wet hair that was falling in his face and wearing his Harvard t-shirt (think of Greg Montgomery) and Dave just want: God I want to marry you. Aaron was like: Ask me properly then, and Dave did

Aaron hates spiders so he always makes Dave get a glass and piece of paper and take them out. Dave finds it hilarious that this federal agent with a permanent scowl will squeal at the sight of a spider, but he never complains 

Dave’s two main love languages are physical touch and gifts. This is perfect because Aaron is touch-starved and doesn’t care about himself enough, so Dave is always finding reasons to touch him- even if it’s just placing an assuring hand on his shoulder, and excuses to buy him expensive things because he can. Aaron is terrible at accepting gifts but even worse at rejecting them, which is how he ends up with suits that fit him and a new watch

Aaron doesn’t really know how to say I Love You verbally, but he says it in so many other small ways that mean so much more to Dave. It’s in the slight smile he gives him when they make eye contact, or the way that he asks if everything is okay when a case is difficult, and in the way that he always makes him tea for the way home

Every Friday, if they’re at home, they cook together. Most days involve Hotch getting back later than Rossi or spending time with Jack, but on Fridays, Jack sits on a stool and watches his dad cook together. Hotch will do the more rigid things like slicing and Dave will do the things like adding spices because he’s a lot more liberal

For two men that have to make very serious decisions on an almost daily basis, they’re terrible at choosing films because they can never agree so they either end up not watching anything or letting Jack pick

Hotch prefers Rossi’s shower gel to his own, so if Rossi has to go away for a few days for a book tour or whatever, Hotch will shower using his instead of his own because then it feels like he still has a piece of him 

When they started coaching Jack’s soccer team, they weren’t dating because Hotch refused to date someone he couldn’t be completely honest with, so Dave always got introduced as a friend. After they started dating, Dave would be like: I’m Aaron’s partner and Aaron would love that it was finally true

Aaron loves forehead kisses. Absolutely loves them. They remind him of being a child and simpler times, but he’s always been too shy to ask for them. Rossi kisses him on the forehead a few times because he’s in a rush and notices how relaxing Aaron finds it, so then he starts finding excuses to do it just because

Their tastes in books differs. By a lot. Where Aaron loves cliche romances and period romances and the romantic classics, Dave loves dystopias, crime novels and science fiction. However, Dave will always make an exception if it means he can read aloud to Aaron because Aaron will just rest his head in Dave’s lap and let the words soothe him

Dave is one of the few people that knows just how well Aaron can sing. Aaron does it all the time in the shower, but he always thinks he’s subtle about it so Dave never said anything until one day he started humming the same song Aaron had been singing and Aaron realised

Dave is an excellent dancer. Aaron is not because he’s uncoordinated and gets self conscious. This leads to many Saturday evenings where Dave will hold out his hand and be like: Just let go for a few minutes and indulge me because I love you and Aaron can never say no.

Okay, I know everyone hates her, but Ashley Seaver didn’t have anyone to attend her graduation for obvious reasons. Aaron knew what it was like so he dragged Dave along and they cheered so loudly when her name got called out and she was in tears because they loved her so much. Someone said she was lucky to have such wonderful fathers and neither of them rejected it

It’s a given that if driving is involved, the two of them will go together, but what nobody knows is that a longer journey involves Taylor Swift’s Speak Now being put on and the two of them a) YELLING the words to Enchanted and b) hating on John Mayer cos... yeah

Their first kiss ended with Morgan thinking one of them was the unsub because their unsub was making out with the victims so he was like: THERE! And the team came running over with their lights and guns and stuff only to realise it was them two. It was a very awkward discussion with the sheriff but Strauss found it hilarious to read about

After they got together, a lot of the conversations Strauss and Rossi had became about Hotch and his cute butt and his early days at the BAU. Hotch only found out because he walked into one and he was so mortified that Strauss thought he had a cute butt that he refused to look her in the eyes for a good week

Hotch likes wearing Rossi’s shirts because they make him feel warm and Rossi likes seeing Hotch wearing them because he’s that kind of person, and normally this is fine, but then Hotch has a meeting with a Very Important FBI Person who goes: Agent Hotchner, why are you wearing Agent Rossi’s shirt? And Hotch is just like: Because... we... I? And the Very Important FBI Person is just like: HAHA I TOLD YOU THEY WERE TOGETHER

Nothing ever has or ever will make David Rossi smile as much as seeing Aaron Hotchner with his guard down as he plays with his son, doing whatever it is he wants, apart from maybe the moments where Hotch will turn and smile at him and it becomes clear that he understands that he deserves both the love from Dave and the love from Jack

[inkbyajm]

Holiday Blues

pairing: C.H. x fem!reader

category: fluff, slight angst

word count: 1.1k

notes: it’s been two weeks, but i finally wrote the second part to the holiday series! i decided to change a few things: for starters, in this world, the pandemic DOESN’T EXIST for the sake of the plot, and the reason why corpse and reader can’t see each other is because she lies and says she doesn’t quite have the funds to travel. anyways, it’s christmas in three days, and 2020 will be over NEXT WEEK i’m so excited!! also, i’m curious as to which christmas songs you’re obsessed with at the moment 👀 to me, december means i can finally blast I’M GONNA KILL SANTA CLAUS by the most greg of all gregs - mr. danny gonzalez. and no one can stop me, because ‘tis the season.

< previous    next  >

It was halfway into December and Corpse had felt absolutely no holiday cheer. Well, that’s not exactly true. He’d streamed once or twice, he’d played with friends off camera too. But once everything cut, the corners of his lips would drop and he’d slouch back into his seat, with an air of defeat, as he thought about his love having a merry time on the other side of the Atlantic ocean. 

Unbeknownst to him, (Y/N) and his friends had collectively decided to throw a big Christmas party in the new OfflineTV mansion the group had recently finished renovating. (Y/N) wasn’t going to leave her boyfriend without a present, nor was she leaving him to celebrate anything alone. While, initially, a festive gathering was all she had planned, a little bird (more like a flock) had been telling her all about her partner and the state he had been in lately. He wasn’t exactly fooling anyone with the “I’m fine”s and the “yeah, I’m good, just tired”s, contrary to his belief. So she very bravely decided to take on the 14+ hour transatlantic flight and pop in for a visit in the city of angels only a couple of days before Christmas Eve. Until then, though, he had to be kept in the dark. And in this case, what he didn’t know did hurt him. 

━

It was a chilly morning when Corpse woke up with his body aching all over. Another restless night, another long day to spend. With a groan, he got up to start his morning routine, while taking his medication along the way.

As he walked to the kitchen to make up some kind of breakfast, he scrolled through his social media feeds to see if anything new had been posted while he was away. 

His heart tightened ever so slightly, he couldn’t tell if it was due to his condition, or due to the feeling of jealousy which rose the longer he stared at her recent post. He felt selfish, of course she was allowed to have male friends, he himself  had many female friends. But he still felt like that could have been, or rather should have been, him.

Dejectedly, he went on to Twitter to end up feeling even worse. He didn’t feel like telling anyone about how pathetic of a boyfriend he was being, yet he wanted to get out something. In the end, he settled with a good ol’ cryptic message as per usual Corpse Husband style.

Not feeling like eating much anymore, the brunette settled for quick oats. An hour had gone by, maybe even two, time was difficult to keep up with when nothing was done to spend it. He sat in his living room, the pictures she had posted floating around his mind, and realised (Y/N) hadn’t called him once since the beginning of the month. She’d warned him she was going to be busy, but he thought perhaps she had at least an hour to talk about all the riveting things she had been up to in the past couple of weeks. 

Nervously, he picked up his phone and hovered his finger over her name. Wasn’t it late where she lived? What if she was having dinner with her roommates? It would be rude to interrupt their evening. But as he was hesitating, his finger had accidentally pressed the screen, prompting the ringing to begin.

It rang once, it rang twice. Three times. Four. Just as he was about to hang up, the timer had started, indicating that she was on the line.

“Hello?” Warmth instantly spread across his chest at the sound of her voice he hadn’t heard in too long a time.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

Corpse felt shy all of a sudden, as if he was speaking to her for the first time. He hadn’t thought about what he was going to say beforehand.

“How are you?” he asked, putting her on speaker as he fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt.

“I’m good! Really good, actually,” she spoke softly, a hint of pep in her voice, “how are you doing?”

“I uh...I woke up feeling sore today. Feels like someone beat me up in my sleep.” he followed up with a light chuckle so as to not completely ruin the mood. There was a short moment of silence before (Y/N) finally responded.

“I’m sorry. Did you take your medication?” Her reply felt somewhat off. Usually, she’d make it a bigger deal, asking him to rate the pain from 1 to 5 (1 being “eh, it’s barely there” and 5 being “put me out of my misery”), making sure he was going about his day alright, or even giving him virtual kisses to make him feel even a little bit better.

“I did, yeah, I took them this morning.” He wanted to talk about something, anything, but he couldn’t not think about what had been bothering him for the past two hours. “So, I saw you had one eventful day yesterday?”

“Yes! (F3/N) and I went on a hike early in the morning, and oh, Corpse, it was so magical!” he heard her gush, “there was snow everywhere, it was so so pretty. And although it was kinda really cold, we built super cute snowmen and made snow angels! Then I spent some time baking sugar cookies with my roommates, after that we went shopping for a bit. They had both gone out with their partners in the evening, so I went to bother (F3/N) again. It was cool though, he didn’t mind. I promise.” she giggled, finished with her rant.

Although he was sad that he hadn’t gotten the chance to make such fun memories with her, he was also pleased to hear how well she’d been doing. She sounded so joyous, so full of life, he didn’t have the heart to burden her with his gloominess.

“That sounds nice.” he faintly smiled, “I’m glad you’re having a good time.”

Oh how it absolutely broke her to hear him desperately trying to support her, to keep up the image of not being bothered in the slightest. She was very close to telling him how much she missed him, how badly she wanted to see his pretty face and run her fingers through his soft messy curls. But she had to resist those temptations, for their reunion was only a few days away, and she had worked very hard to create this temporary distance between them. It was all for the end goal. Determined to follow through with her plan, she had decided to end the call early.

“Sorry, (F1/N) just messaged me. They need another pair of hands to set up the Christmas village on the table.”

“Oh, alright, yeah, you go make your house pretty. Send me a picture of the masterpiece.” She was sure to have heard her heart break right then and there.

“Of course, bubba. Okay bye, love you!”

His heart swelled a little at her words. At least she still loved him.

“Love you too.”

[cavehags]

cxg sets up many male characters who share traits with rebecca. greg, nathaniel, trent and tucker all come to mind. with the adult men in particular, the show really wants us to think about how gender plays a role in what these characters can “get away with” when it comes to crossing boundaries and invading people’s space. the first such character we meet is greg. he is immediately set up as “rebecca’s rebecca,” the hopeless loser crushing on her while she hopelessly crushes on someone else. but greg doesn’t cross boundaries the way rebecca does. he pines and he can be quite unsympathetic in his pining, but the series does not ask us to forgive a man who wields willful entitlement the same way rebecca does. 

as the series progresses, we meet men who push that limit. when we meet trent in season one, rebecca is indebted to him, and his abuse of that inequality constitutes blackmail. but we’re given dialogue from rebecca that shows that she doesn’t hate the arrangement. she praises him, thanks him for the favors he does for her, and even initiates sex with him. when he returns in season three, it’s another matter; he is explicitly forcing her into a relationship that she hates and struggles to free herself from. i would say that this is one of the scariest things that happens in the series; it’s several steps beyond what rebecca ever did. at the end of the season, he seriously threatens murder. at her worst, rebecca schemed to make josh think he wanted a relationship with her, but she never strongarmed him into one. as a man who is threatening a woman with blackmail and violence, trent is positioned as a clear villain--“worse” than rebecca. at worst, the audience is meant to feel relieved that rebecca is on the road to recovery so that she will never rise to the level of violation that trent does. 

there’s also nathaniel, the trickiest case. of these three men, nathaniel is closest to rebecca’s “equal” in terms of the types of boundaries he violates and the ways he violates them. we get the clearest glimpse of this in my personal favorite episode, “i’m making up for lost time,” in which nathaniel sends sunil out to monitor rebecca and winds up buying rebecca’s childhood diary off a child so that he can manipulate her into loving him again. rebecca has already broken up with him at this point and nathaniel knows that a relationship with him is not something rebecca wants. she’s been clear about that and he knows he is acting in opposition to her wishes. early in the episode, he says, “i love you; you love me. the sooner you get used to it, i think the easier and better it'll be for everyone.” kind of threatening, buddy! when he resorts to surveillance tactics and manipulation, he doesn’t cross any lines rebecca never crossed herself. but rebecca is able to see his behavior for what it is right away and she condemns it. she tells him: “the way you show your love is so messed up. i mean, you just now tried to manipulate me, and you manipulated a child. [...] you're blaming a 13-year-old for your actions? no. it's inexcusable.” after this episode, nathaniel continues to sulk over rebecca, but he does not continue to surveil and manipulate her. just like with greg, the series does not ask the audience to accept as a main character a man who acts to a woman the way rebecca acted to josh. 

i think this ethos worked okay until it didn’t. greg’s behavior warranted criticism but it was never truly scary. trent’s behavior was scary but we were never expected to forgive him. the problem with nathaniel is that, although he stopped acting with such force once admonished, the fact that he violated rebecca’s boundaries even once should have ruled him out of the running as a love interest for rebecca the way rebecca was ruled out of the running as a deserving love interest for josh. even when nathaniel embarks on his own “redemption arc,” the lessons he needs to learn are expedited and simplified far beyond the lessons rebecca was expected to learn. heather gives nathaniel a lesson about respect and he immediately decides he’s going to be “nice” now. that’s as deep as his self-improvement goes. he does not specifically interrogate his forceful behavior towards women. he does not even apologize to josh for endangering his family (which he did because he “was promised sex,” as he says himself in “nathaniel is irrelevant”). up until nathaniel, the show was very careful, in its exploration of one-sided romantic pursuit, to avoid showing any tolerance for people (men especially) who ignore a direct “no.” but that fell apart with nathaniel and it’s very difficult to understand how they expected the audience to move on from that. 

[megs-mostly-past-random-fandoms]

Foolishly Intelligent

Based on this request:  I love your imagines! I would like to request a Sherlock imagine if that’s alright? Something along the line of the reader being Mycroft’s and Sherlock’s far younger sister. She tries to connect with her brothers but often feels left out. She started in her teens by Learning everything about murders, investigation and politics in order to find common ground with her brothers. Ad an adult this leads to her being part of Scotland Yard and always giving Greg an heart attack due to jumping into dangerous situations. He’s had enough and decides after one close call too many to involve her big brothers to chew her out.

Here you are! *Familiar Characters are NEVER mine!*

Fandom: BBC Sherlock

Warnings: Angst, arguing, Caring big brothers that pretend not to care because one is a high-functioning sociopath and the other is Mycroft XD, mentions of possible crush??

Pairings/Characters: fem!reader, brother!Sherlock Holmes, brother!Mycroft Holmes, Greg Lestrade

Greg Lestrade had had it. You were a wonderful detective, that much was true, but you had a bad habit. You liked to put yourself in dangerous situations ALL. THE. TIME! You would often quite literally throw yourself into harm's way to get the job done or to protect others. Greg normally wouldn't say anything even though it gave him a near heart attack every time. But since learning of Sherlock's fake death, it had become worse.

         The man could sort of understand where you were coming from. You had big shoes to fill with your brothers being who they were. Even as a child, you'd had trouble connecting with them. You had gone out of your way to learn and do things to help your relationship. And it wasn't that they didn't love you or respect you. It was that they could often have full conversations just through a look or that they would play their little deduction games and you would feel left out.

         You'd told Greg, after having a few drinks one night, that you had been trying since your teens to connect with Sherlock and Mycroft. You were just as intelligent as they were so you began learning about murder, investigations, and even politics from an early age. Still, nothing seemed to help you connect with them. You'd even joined the Yard to spend more time with Sherlock.

         But this last time was one too many for Greg. You had nearly died and the DI had a soft spot for you. In fact, you were the only Holmes the man could stand being around for more than a few minutes at a time. He didn't think he could take it if you kept running head-on into danger, but he knew you wouldn't listen to him. So, as he sat there next to your hospital bed waiting for you to wake up, he contemplated who you would listen to. There were only two people that popped into his head.

         With a soft sigh, Greg stood and left your room to make a call. "Hello, Gavin. Has there been a murder?" Greg pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn't lose his temper now. "No, Sherlock." Sherlock scoffed on the other end of the line. "Boring. If you've nothing interesting to offer me, I'll say goodbye now."

         "WAIT!" Greg shouted, then a little more softly added, "Your sister's in hospital." For a moment, there was only silence. Then Sherlock spoke again, "Watson, call Mycroft. St. Bart's?" Greg confirmed and was promptly hung up on. You were going to hate him when you woke, but at least your brothers might be able to talk some sense into you.  

         Sherlock burst through the doors a little while later, with Mycroft sauntering in a few moments after. "Would someone care to explain why I have been dragged from an important meeting?" Mycroft asked, prompting Greg and John to glare at the younger Holmes brother. "You didn't tell him?!" Greg hissed before turning to Mycroft, "Long story short, your sister's here. She decided to go into a hostage situation, alone, with no sidearm." Mycroft's brows furrowed briefly before a look of pure rage came over his features for a moment.

         "And you didn't stop her?" Greg opened his mouth, but it was Sherlock who answered, "Oh please, Mycroft. Y/N would never listen if the lives of others are in danger. Not to Gordon anyway." Greg once again rolled his eyes. Would that man ever call him by his actual name?

         "He's right. She doesn't listen. She's always throwing herself into situations like this. I thought, when she wakes up, the two men she looks up to the most could talk some bloody sense into her. Maybe then she'll listen." Both Holmes brothers merely stared at the DI, causing him to huff and walk away with John at his heels. He couldn't deal with them any longer for the moment. He needed to return to your side.

         Just his luck, you were already awake when he pushed the door open. "Inspector," you greeted tersely. You had seen John behind him so you knew Sherlock wasn't far behind. "Don't look at me like that, Detective." You scoffed. "Like what? Like you betrayed my trust by calling them in? I know they're here. Might as well bring them in so I can hear all about how disappointed Mummy will be." Greg's brows furrowed in confusion. "Y/N…I just want you to be safe. Your brothers do too."

         "Oh? Which brothers? The one who chucks himself off a building and pretends to be dead for 2 years? Or the one who knows about it and says nothing? Or the ones who refuse to let me into their lives, no matter how hard I try? I know I'm not brilliant like they are, but I try, dammit. And this is the only time I ever seen them away from home. When I'm in hospital."

         "Fine," Greg soothed, "Fine. Don't talk to them. I don't care. But you have to stop being so reckless and stupid, Y/N. For my sake." Greg gaze your hand a little squeeze before leaving the room and allowing your brothers to walk in. For a moment, you said nothing, watching the space Greg had just been occupying. You were trying not to cry. Your brothers didn't do well with hysterics.

         "Sherlock. Mycroft," you said. "Look at me, Y/N." You sighed softly. You knew you weren't exactly acting like an adult at the moment. That would get you nowhere with them. You swung your (e/c) eyes over to them. Sherlock stood with his hands in the pockets of his coat while Mycroft stared intently at you. They were both trying to deduce something about you. "Stop it," you ordered sharply, "Stop trying to deduce me and just ask me the question you want to ask." They exchanged a glance before turning back to you.

         "Inspector Lestrade informed us that you threw yourself in harm's way yet again." You shrugged a bit. "I would again too. There were children in there. The elderly." Sherlock let out a scoff. "And that makes it okay for you to be so monumentally stupid?"

         "I'm NOT stupid! Just because I'm not as callous as you are doesn't mean I'm an idiot, Sherlock! God, now I see the problem. It was never my fault we never connected. It was yours. You never tried." Your brothers stared at you in surprise. You had never spoken to them that way before. You rolled your eyes and groaned when your head began to hurt again.

         "Just go. Both of you. You can tell John and Inspector Lestrade that they are welcome here. I don't want to see you two again for a while." You turned your head away from them both, indicating that you were done with the conversation. You heard them open the door to leave. "Oh, and don't you dare call Mummy. I'll tell her myself when I know I'm alright." Neither of them said anything, but left the room.

         When you heard the door close behind them, you let a few tears finally fall. You hadn't wanted to blow up at them and you'd mostly likely end up apologizing later, but for now you were upset. You didn't have long to stew in your anger though before the door opened again. You turned to look and sighed. "I thought I told you to go."

         "And we did. You failed to specify just how long you consider to be a 'while'. We listened to what you said and now it is your turn to listen to us. Despite what you may think, you are no closer to 'connecting' with Mycroft or myself by running head-long into danger." You arched a brow at him. "Oh, you mean like you do?" Sherlock didn't look impressed, but you could see Mycroft trying not to smirk.

         "The point, little sister, is that, in spite of everything, your welfare is important to us. We need to know that you are safe. The career you've chosen lessens that likelihood, but deliberately putting yourself in situations where you could die destroys our hope for it completely."

         "Oh gee, Mycroft, you do care," you replied sarcastically. You let out another sigh, "Look, I'm sorry. I know you're right. Just…please. Please stop letting this be the only reason you even check in with me. I know I'm not like you two. I never have been, but stop shutting me out. Okay? If you can promise me that, then I will promise to try and be more careful. For Mother and Father's sake. And for Greg's." You tried not to let your face show any emotion. Nothing to give away anything.

         "Who?" You laughed lightly while Mycroft arched a brow. "We will discuss that topic at another time. I suppose I can agree to your terms. Sherlock?" Sherlock's blue eyes met yours and he nodded. You smiled; a genuine smile for the first time since they walked in the room. "Good. Now could you please leave? I'd really like to sleep now that I've been yelled at by both my brothers and my boss."

         They opened the door again and you sat up. "Oh, and seriously. Don't tell Mummy." With a chuckle, your brothers left and you laid back to get a little more rest. Mycroft and Sherlock nodded at Greg when they exited the room, knowing he'd heard everything anyway. Greg breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully things would get better now. Greg looked in at you and smiled when you gave him a tiny wave.

(a/n: I hope this does your request justice!)