#but also company 1 would be a way better career move

[disneyprincemuke]

midnights, 6 * mv1

a thunderstorm keeps you up at night, the same way it kept max up

pairings: max verstappen x fem!reader

warnings: -

notes: i was going to post and update my fem!driver but tumblr keeps reverting back to an old version and idK WHATS WRONG WITH TUMBLRRRR!!! i pUT MY WHOLE PUSSY INTO THAT BRO

(prev) // (next)

you sigh, hanging your towel onto the rack. the thunderstorm had been building up to what it is now the entire time you were out for dinner with alexandra and charles.

luckily, charles had offered to drive tonight. you weren’t given the hard task of navigating the streets late at night in the rain.

as much as solitary was what you craved all night, your mind seemed to change every time the thunder got a little too loud for your liking. suddenly, you were crying for help in your head that the night wouldn’t end too soon.

alas, here you are in your apartment while the rain raged on outside.

you try your hardest not to let the thunder get to you. but it’s almost impossible when the lightning lights up half of the room and the thunder rumbles in your chest.

it’s mind numbingly empty, being in your apartment during a thunderstorm without max by your side. even when he’s away, he always finds a way to stick by your side when the rain is pouring. all because he knows how much you hate it.

you’ve always felt bad keeping him up late when the weather decides to act up. he claims that it’s no problem, because your wellbeing is what matters the most, but you can’t help it.

you always note the way he struggles to keep awake on nights like these, his responses delayed by seconds at time when the gears in his head are slowed. but you also realised that he’d gotten better at staying up just to make you feel comforted and heard.

he eventually found different ways to keep you company during the long hours of a rainy night, the sounds only bothering you mildly when he’s there.

when he's away, it got harder to deal with. his voice over the speaker on your phone is too soft compared to what it is when he's in the room with you. it's the lack of a comforting embrace as well that made it that much harder to deal with.

jimmy and sassy often helped with coping with a thunderstorm a lot. they would snuggle up into your waist and purr when you cover them with a blanket while you're on the call with max.

but now you're all alone.

it's just you and the shadows of your poorly lit apartment.

you turn around and sigh loudly at the emptiness. it's a cold evening, so you're now by your dresser as you search for a sweatshirt to warm yourself up with.

you thought that you'd disposed of everything that screamed max, but you're immediately proven wrong when you notice a dark-coloured sleeve poking out of your bright-coloured selection of clothes.

dark coloured clothing means one thing. it only ever leads to one person - max.

your hands shake by your side as you stare at the sleeve, not finding the strength in yourself to grab it. you'd forgotten that you had one of his jackets from way before you moved into his apartment.

every breath you take feels heavier, the grief of losing max weighing you down once more. tears fill your eyes as you try to remember how the red bull jacket even ended up in your closet in the first place.

typically, you'd remember like it was yesterday. but for some reason, you can't remember it. and you want to be able to remember it. forgetting max and everything you've been through is never part of the plan.

you want to remember every single detail about that relationship you shared. it was the happiest couple of years you've had, the highs and lows of his career affecting you just as much while you tried your best to be there for him. you'd been there for most of it.

it feels odd now that you're not there anymore. you wonder if he feels the emptiness without you too.

when he started his career in formula 1, you entered his life months after that. you'd been there when he was promoted to the main racing team and you were there for every single podium finish thereafter. you'd even been there for every single crash and hospital visit.

you were there and suddenly you're not showered in champagne every weekend, reeking of the alcohol that soaked your clothes and hair.

a loud rumble makes you flinch, hands flying up to cover your ears. it doesn't get any easier dealing with it - the rumbling in your chest that accompanied the loud roar outside the window.

but you can't resist. you grab the jacket from your closet anyway, throwing the hanger back inside. you jump onto your bed and wrap the blanket over your shoulders and grab your phone from your nightstand.

you dial a number unconsciously and hold the phone up to your ear as you await an answer. you choke up when the ringing stops, knowing well yourself that this is not the person you meant to call. it's just to stick to your principle of backing up the break-up that you never wanted but brought up.

"hey."

"mum, i miss him," you sob into the phone, your hand coming up to your chest as you feel it close in on itself. "i miss max."

"i know, baby." you hear some shuffling from the other side of the line, then a hushed whisper from your father. the door shuts before your mother says something to you again. "but this is for the best, isn't it? you guys have not been happy for so long."

this makes you sob even harder, your wails being tuned out by the rain that has gotten stronger in the past second. the roaring in the night sky barely bothers you now.

you just want max.

"we are happy," you defend yourself and the relationship. nobody knows what happened. nobody knows that even if you fought endlessly, you were still happy when you pushed it all aside. you were happy with max. "we were happy. i ruined it, mama."

you resort to putting a hand over your mouth as you start to sob harder. if you'd known the rain was going to be such a trigger, you would have just gone to sleep the moment you stepped foot into your apartment.

"i love him," you manage to whisper. you close your eyes as the tears continue to fall, leaning your head on your headboard. the picture frame on your bedside table still stands tall, making you contemplate if you should hang up and call max instead. "i don't think i'll ever get over him."

but your mother will always be looking out for you. she doesn't encourage you to call him. she just says, "get it off your chest, baby. i'm here."

and you spend the next 3 hours crying over max, your framed picture sitting by your knee as you talk about him. you only fall asleep when the thunderstorm stops, wrapped in his jacket that weirdly still smelled just like him.

taglist: @merchelsea @leclercdream @labelledejourr @laneyspaulding19 @lpab @graciewrote @hollie911 @thatsojasminesworld @mycenterfold @princessria127 @ironmaiden1313 @dl-yum @crlsummer @brekkers-whore @minkyungseokie @honethatty12

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

I wouldn’t mind hearing your thoughts on the reality tv fic research you’re doing, if you had any thoughts or observations you wanted to share, be they fic-related or otherwise 🌹

So the reality TV fic is really the first chapter/prologue of a longer fic that covers Jamie's reintegration into the team and developing friendship with Sam in the first half of season 2, while also having some complicated feelings about Amsterdam and his time on Lust Conquers All as Sam and Jan rope him into their effort to get the player auction during at the charity gala changed to something less terrible. While I don't necessarily think Jamie's experience on LCA was itself traumatic, the structure of reality dating shows might poke at some sore spots in a way he might not consciously register, same as the auction did in season 1. 

Unhinged ramble on reality TV dating and how it might affect Jamie under the read more:

(My research was mainly focused on Love Island UK, the real-world equivalent of LCA; however, some of the rules, filming practices, ect. are based on industry norms that I don't know for 100% certain apply to this show) 

There are some aspects of the reality TV experience that Jamie would likely be better equipped to handle than most contestants — while the producers do go out and scout people and I gather that some (or possibly most) of them are social media "micro-influencers," one of the main things they tend to struggle with is not only the sudden rise to fame and the volume of criticism that comes with it, but the fact that it's very temporary fame and they have to reintegrate into regular life and a regular job afterwards. Jamie struggles with depression after leaving LCA, but he clearly didn't put the same stock in it as a career move as most contestants do — his depression is tied to his football career (or rather, his temporary lack thereof) and his dad; LCA was primarily a way to get away from James rather than something he was invested in for its own merits or that he likely expected to have much of an impact on his life in the long term.

He also has an advantage when it comes to contract negotiations. Reality TV contracts are extremely extensive and typically involve the contestants waiving the right to sue in the event of... basically any kind of harm (emotional/psychological distress, injury, illness, death, ect), as well as their right to privacy — many shows specify that they have hidden cameras and microphones throughout the entire house, including areas like bedrooms and even bathrooms, and that they can use, edit, ect. anything they record however they want, including frankenbiting, ie cutting together snippets of audio to form sentences that the contestants never actually said — and their contact with the outside world, as contestants aren't allowed to keep their phones or go on social media. They also often tie the contestants to the production company for several months afterwards, which may involve doing public appearances or even restricting activities related to the show (this is less relevant for something like LCA, but American Idol season 2 contracts didn't let contestants sing anywhere outside the show, even at like. private gatherings with friends and family).

I imagine Jamie's contract would include a lot of these same rules, but unlike most contestants, he has an agent (even if we know the agent kind of sucks) who may have gotten him better terms. That being said, based on the way his agent talks about him going on LCA in 2x02, there is a distinct possibility that he signed on as an impulse decision and actually didn't have anyone look over the contract, so really whether or not he had an advantage here depends on how pre-meditated his decision was at the time. Another area where he has an advantage is purely demographic: he's a white man, and reality dating shows have a massive problem with racism and sexism that affects casting, how the contestants are framed once they're on the show, and even voting behaviour. 

Prospective cast members undergo a very thorough vetting process that involves a background check, medical exam, psychological evaluation, and interviews with basically everyone they've ever talked to, it seems like. How effective the psych eval is in rooting out people who are likely to be negatively affected by the show is debatable — I read an interview with a former contestant on the Bachelor who said she suspects she was chosen because she was emotionally fragile after a recent breakup with her fiancé — and they seem to be more geared towards keeping people off the show who are likely to be physically violent with the other contestants. Jamie fits the profile of someone who might be chosen pretty well, actually: he's combative and has a big enough personality to be involved in drama, but he doesn't actually start physical fights. 

Once contestants arrive, their belongings are searched for any contraband alcohol or drugs, as well as clothes with logos from non-sponsor brands. Shows generally don't allow them to keep their phones or other electronics — Love Island contestants have cellphones that they sometimes use to take pictures and where they instructions via text, but these don't appear to be their own personal phones. (Sometimes contestants appear to be posting on social media during the season, but it's actually someone else running their account.) They're also not allowed to leave the villa except on scheduled dates (some shows do allow the contestants out, but they have to ask permission first). This is... kind of creepy, honestly, but I suspect that with James being on Jamie's case the way he was after he came back to Manchester, the lack of contact with the outside world may have been part of what appealed to him.

Life in the villa is very regimented: two producers live there with them and the contestants are told when to eat and when to sleep. This is another area that Jamie might cope with better than the average contestant, since he'd be used to working with nutritionists and generally having many more aspects of his life than the general person planned out, and the dietary restrictions are likely less strict. While conversations aren't scripted, contestants are often told to go to a specific location and to have a conversation with a specific person about a specific topic, which produces the slightly odd effect that, especially in the first couple of episodes, they spent all their time analyzing their relationships/prospective relationships with people they just met and barely know. I suspect this might be part of why it's hard to build sustainable romantic relationships in this environment — obviously communicating about what everyone wants in a relationship is good, but it doesn't allow for the regular conversations that make up most of the process of getting to know and like another person.

Which brings us to: kayfabe. Kayfabe is a wrestling term which refers to the implicit agreement between wrestlers and their fans to act as though the staged performances are authentic. Part of what I suspected tripped Jamie up during his stint on LCA and got him kicked off is that he's... not great at this part. He'd probably have some form of PR training and he has experience doing brand deals, but ultimately footballers don't have to pretend they're doing anything other than trying to win. Reality dating contestants can't say that they're there to build their brand or win the cash prize; the only motivation they can publicly acknowledge (not contractually, just in terms of coming off well to the audience) is finding love, and I suspect that Jamie was maybe a bit more obvious than he should have been about the fact that he approached it as a competition more than as an opportunity to find a relationship, which I don't think he was actually interested in at that point (or at any point, for the aro Jamie truthers among us).

There's also a bit of a tension between the producers' putative goal of capturing authentic reactions and creating certain storylines. The result is that they try to elicit certain reactions during the talking head interviews without stating outright what they want the contestant to say, and I suspect Jamie and the producers would find each other frustrating to deal with given his blunt approach to social interaction and difficulty with subtext and other forms of indirect communication. Similarly, interactions between the contestants — particularly the contestants of opposite genders — are governed by a set of extremely heteronormative social norms in which the contestants reaffirm their relationships through by, for instance, acting jealous or worried when their current partner is talking to another person as a sign that they're serious about the relationship. In addition to just generally not being a sexist dick even in his prick era, he is, again, just not that great with subtext. Ultimately, I think Jamie attracts the public's ire because he's too obvious about the fact that he's approaching LCA as a game to be won — while viewers are generally aware that reality TV is constructed, the contestants acknowledging that damages their popularity.

And now onto the potentially triggering stuff. First up: the alcohol. Most reality dating shows involve a lot of drinking, although instances of light drinking (eg sipping on champaign, drinking beer on dates) are generally more common than heavy drinking like taking shots or the contestants being shown to be very drunk, though it does happen. Some shows have an open bar, while others control the consumption of alcohol more closely and only give the contestants one bottle at a time. Contestants on Love Island are often shown drinking (usually champaign, or at least something in champaign flutes) from what appears to be an open bar, but I'm not sure which approach they actually use. I've seen some former contestants (on The Bachelor, not Love Island) attribute the frequency with which everyone drinks to the fact that they don't really have anything to do besides interact with the other contestants, get involved in drama, and drink — they don't have personal electronics, obviously, but they also aren't allowed to bring books or other forms of entertainment. Jamie does drink in canon and he goes out clubbing with his teammates, but the consistency with which everyone is drinking and the potential pressure to drink more himself as a result might make it feel a bit more fraught, particularly if part of the reason he doesn't remember losing his virginity in Amsterdam is because James forced him to drink.

Second: consent in reality dating shows is... weird. Once they sign the contract and enter the villa, the contestants pushed — though not technically legally required — to engage in various forms of intimacy which in any other situation would be considered pretty clear violations of their consent. Couples are formed unilaterally: in the season of Love Island that I watched (season 8), the initial couples were chosen by the voting public, and couples are re-formed in ceremonies in which, for instance, a newly arrived man choses between the two single women and the one who isn't chosen is sent home (or vice versa). In essence, only one member of the couple (or neither, in the case of public voting) actually has a say in whether they want to be with the other person. These couples then sleep in the same bed (in a room they share with all the other contestants), and the challenges similarly often involve one contestant choosing another to kiss, offer a lap dance, demonstrate their favourite sexual position, or perform other forms of intimacy (these examples are all from the first challenge of the first episode of season 8). In essence, while the contestants could technically refuse, they probably also wouldn't be on the show for long, and the whole thing is very much built on the presumption of consent to these more "mild" forms of intimacy. 

Other Things: 

Part way through, the men are sent to a different villa where they meet a new set of women, while the women stay at the original villa and meet a new set of men. I imagine the Jamie cheating on Amy with Denise in a hot tub incident probably occurred during something like this. 

For some reason the announcer always calls them "boys" and "girls." He does it for both genders so at least it's not sexist, but I still don't like it. 

If you want to read more about consent in reality TV dating, I found this chapter very interesting: Sreyashi Mukherjee and Dacia Pajé, "'You Can't Force Someone to Want You': Investigating Consent, Tokenism, and Play in Reality Dating Shows," in The Forgotten Victims of Sexual Violence in Film, Television and New Media: Turning to the Margins, ed. Stephanie Patrick and Mythili Rajiva (Palgrave Macmillan) [tried to attach the pdf but I got it through institutional access from my university and it won't let me 😞)

[believesthings]

Not Just A Girl - Chapter 1 // Jason Sudeikis X Reader

Summary: You’re a new up and coming actress. At your first awards show, you run into your celebrity crush, Jason Sudeikis. Trying to navigate the bond you form with him while both juggling your respective careers proves to be quite the task with some unexpected twists along the way.

A/N: In the interest of full disclosure, the series is going to get dark. I promise I will give fair warning when those chapters come up. For now, we’re just setting it all up.

_____________________________________________

The fact that you’ve managed to make it through all the flashing lights and shouts of reporters without tripping on your own feet could only be classified as a miracle.

Stopping just on the outskirts of the grand hall, looking out onto the crowd, you still find it amazing that you are actually considered part of this group. You had grown accustomed to being home, performing on a fairly small stage, you still hadn’t grown accustomed to this.

Being a part of a debut film that turned out to be a major success is still something you are marveling at. Standing at the precipice of this huge event, overlooking a sea of celebrities that you’ve admired for so many years, you feel like you’re dreaming.

You fidget with the bracelet around your wrist, a nervous habit you seemed to have developed over the years. Glancing down at your own attire, it suddenly occurs to you that these pictures will ultimately be on the internet tomorrow for everyone and their mothers to critique your gown of choice. Oh God. Am I going to end up on one of those worst dressed lists?

You try to shake the thought from your mind, one of the best and worst things about the internet is that it moves so fast that even if people hate your outfit, they’ll only be talking about it for a day and then something else will bump you out of the headlines.

When you readjust and look back out into the crowd, you spot the profile of Jason Sudeikis up ahead and your breath hitches in your throat. You were staring, you knew this, but you couldn’t help it. He was laughing; a full genuine laugh that you couldn’t help but crack a smile at. You couldn’t see who he was with because of the crowd but he was clearly in good company.

As fairytale-esque as it sounds, it felt like his laughter somehow cut through all the noise of the crowd and reached your ears. Since there was a pretty respectable distance between the two of you, you figured you could get away with checking him out from here. His suit looked impeccable and the body within was also looking pretty great from where you were standing.

Whatever stylist helped pick out this outfit for him tonight deserved a raise. They put in the work and it was definitely paying off.

In all of your daydreaming, you have neglected to notice that his gaze has now turned in your direction and if you didn’t know better, you would say he is looking directly at you. It seems he has caught you red-handed.

Oh shit. Is it too late to turn back around and go home? By your most liberal of calculations, if you turn back now and start burrowing into the ground from embarrassment you could be in China before midnight.

During all of this, you notice that Jason is still maintaining eye contact with you and suddenly breathing doesn’t seem to be possible for you anymore. He dips his head down towards the person he was speaking with and against your better judgment, he seems to be weaving his way through the crowd and making his way directly to you.

You are briefly pulled away from Jason to see Brett Goldstein’s head pop around the corner to follow Jason’s progress and, it seems, to follow right behind him but he’s pulled away by someone else wanting to speak with him.

Jason seems to naturally part the crowd. He’s already closed the majority of the distance between the two of you. Jesus. You’ve thought about this so many times, wondering what it would be like to be in the same space as him.

Suddenly, he’s there, holding his hand out. Your brain seems to be moving three beats behind as you try to process what’s happening. “Hello.”

Thankfully, you manage to recover. “Hi, Mr. Sudeikis.”

He’s quick to amend, “Oh please, you can just call me Jason. I don’t remember the last time anyone called me Mr. Sudeikis.”

“Right. Okay. Jason.” You say it almost slowly and awkwardly, testing the name out on your tongue. You figured you should try to rectify the immense amount of staring you were doing so you, rather lamely, spilled out, “I was just… admiring your suit. You know - it’s really nice and it looks great on you.” Oh god. That hole to China is looking pretty good right about now.

If he notices your embarrassment (and honestly, how could he not?) He doesn't say anything. He seems to take it all in stride, which you’re thankful for.

“Brett is actually the one that was insisting I come over. I’m sure he’ll find a way to introduce himself as soon as he can break free. Couldn’t miss out on a chance to congratulate you on your nomination tonight. Brett and I both really loved the film! It was incredible.”

You’ve grown so accustomed to promoting the film over the last several months that your responses at this point are ready on autopilot. At least this conversation topic puts you back on familiar ground instead of you making a fool out of yourself in front of this incredibly gorgeous man. “I really owe it all to the writers, you know? The script is what makes it incredible, I’m just glad I got to participate.”

He looks down, fidgeting with his own fingers, you let your gaze glide down and admire them for a moment until he speaks again, “there’s even some rumors of a sequel…” he trails off, leaving it open for you.

You decide to play coy about the whole affair. “Oh, I’ll guess we’ll just have to see.. that does sound like it would be nice.”

He peers around you and suddenly asks, “So, no date tonight?”

Dear God. Was this really happening?

There was no current man in your life as it just so happened, but that certainly didn’t stop the media outlets from trying to stir something up regardless. The two main male co-stars, Andrew Garfield and Will Poulter had certainly been linked to you many times throughout the project. While you bonded with them both incredibly well and built a close friendship over the course of several months, there was no romantic element there - despite how many articles the Daily Mail wrote about the matter.

You smiled at Jason, “Oh, I’m sure Andrew and Will are around here somewhere making the rounds with dates of their own but I have no one special to ask and my mom couldn’t make it out here in time to be my plus one. So, it would appear that I’m flying solo tonight.”

Surely, all the camera flashes were going to head because you could have sworn that you saw Jason’s smile grow just a little more upon hearing that you were unattached for the evening.

You almost manage to block out the noise and chaos of the rest of the night until Brett finally makes his way to the both of you, clapping his hand on Jason’s shoulder. Glancing back and forth between the two of you, he jokes, “Well then, what have we decided to name the first born?”

Jason shakes his head lightly and chuckles at Brett’s antics while your eyes seem to have doubled in size at his comment. Brett seems undeterred, however, holding his hand out to you to introduce himself. “Hello, lovely to meet you. I’m sure Jason has already gushed that we are massive fans. We both loved All Your Monsters. Great fucking film.”

“Thank You!” You manage to squeak out while reaching out to shake his hand.

He smiles at you and fuck it is charming. “I guess this is your first big award ceremony? Take a deep breath, you’ll be alright.”

He turns his attention to Jason, “Jesus Christ. Have you at least offered the lady a drink?”

Jason lets out a small laugh, “No, Brett. I hadn’t gotten that far yet.” He reaches his hand up to run his hair over his facial hair, a motion that you’ve come to recognize after seeing it countless times in interviews over the years.

Brett takes a quick scan around the room before nodding his head off to the side, “Plenty of time before they shuffle us off to our seats if you’d like to do it now.”

They both look over at you and you nod in agreement. Lord knows you could certainly use alcohol right about now. Jason holds his arm out to you to help lead you to the bar. The floor is particularly slick and your shoes were not agreeing with the material. (Plus it gave you an excuse to touch him and you certainly weren’t going to turn that down).

Your nervousness for the event had risen once again. When your outfit was being put together, there were many discussions back and forth that the height of the heels or the length of the dress wouldn’t be a problem since the majority of the event was going to be seated anyway. However, the walk up the building and the massive ballroom at the entryway were clearly not taken into consideration when this design was taking place. Honestly, fuck winning an award at this point - your only goal was to not eat shit up the stairs.

Brett and Jason had altered their stride to prevent you from having to run to keep up with them. How nice it must be to be six feet tall with legs that go one for miles! That thought causes your mind to drift to Jason’s lower half in the suit he’s wearing and before you know it - you’re at the bar. Brett and Jason whispering between themselves over drinks.

You take a moment to graze over the mass of people - many of which you’ve only ever seen when there’s a screen in between them and yourself.

“What would you like?” Jason’s voice is in your ear, and you feel the light flutter of his fingers on your forearm. It takes you a couple seconds to snap back to reality. “With my nerves? I could really use a shot right now. Do they really encourage you to drink before these things?”

Brett replies, “Yeah. But the real fun doesn’t happen until the after-party.”

Right, the after-party. You’d never been to an after-party before and it occurs to you now that this probably would have been a good thing to talk about with your manager. Did you need some special VIP access to go to that? You assume Brett and Jason are going, would it be too forward for you to ask to join them?

God, the lighting is doing wonders for the both of them - Damn you and your weakness for tall men with low voices. “Hmm.. after-party? Sounds like trouble.”

You hear your name being called and you turn to see Will grinning widely at you while weaving his way in your direction.

Jason greets Will before you even have time to blink. “Some friend you are! Poor Brett and I had to introduce ourselves to your co-star here.”

Will laughs at his greeting before shooting a rather pointed look towards you. “Hey, I’m just happy that someone actually managed to snag her. Once she told me she wasn’t bringing a date, I suspected she wasn’t going to show up at all. She still hasn’t gotten the hang of crowds.”

Jason passes you the shot you requested and Brett chuckles at Will. “It seems that something caught her eye before she could dart away.”

Your blush crept up again - apparently no one at this event is going to let you live down the fact that you’ve spent the evening checking Jason out. Will gives you a questioning look, raising his eyebrows at you and you sheepishly shrug in response and swig back the shot in your hands. You were probably going to need more of these to get through the evening. An intercom informs everyone that the show will be starting momentarily and a flurry of people are rushing past making their way to their designated seats.

“I believe we’re seated next to each other! Come on.” Will gestures toward you but Jason manages to snag your hand one last time before Will whisks you away. “I hope you’ll be around afterwards?”

You smile and nod at him, quickly waving your goodbyes to both him and Brett, following along at Will’s heels to your seats.

“Andrew has already found our seats, apparently we’re right up front.” He nods down towards your hands. “That shot helping your nerves at all?”

You make a feeble attempt to turn back and see if you can still see Jason at the bar, but the sea of people obstructing your view is too much for you to be able to tell for sure. “Yeah… Wouldn’t have hurt to ask for another one though.” You murmur.

Will is suddenly stopping in front of you - the auditorium laid out in front of you and lord, is it beautiful.

He gently pulls your hand forward through an opening in the crowd, making his way through the vast number of seats towards your spot in the front. You're delighted to see that Will has brought his sister along as his date for the evening. You met her over the course of the film and the press tours and the two of you have managed to form quite a bond.

You try to peer your head to see who is seated next to Andrew, but her back is faced toward you and it’s hard to get a good look. When he stands to give you a hug, you sneak your head to find, not a date, but his publicist sitting next to him.

Since there are assigned seats at this event, everyone is bustling to land in their designated spots. You wonder briefly where Jason and Brett have been placed, you seem to have lost them in the shuffle of making your way up to the front.

There is a call for a five minute warning and a brief flicker of the lights and you begin to turn your head to take in everyone around you. You’re sure you look something akin to an over-excited child but it is your first awards show. Could they really blame you?

You spot Brett first, two rows behind you, you shoot him a small wave. He nods and returns the greeting before he knowingly tilts his head and nods across the aisle. You spin around trying to make out exactly where he was gesturing. You spot Jason on the end of an aisle, also two rows behind you. He seems to be fairly deep in talk with Brendan Hunt, his hands get more and more animated as he speaks.

You don’t get a chance to catch his eye before Will is gently grabbing your wrist to pull you towards your seat. “There will be plenty of commercial breaks for you to lust over him, along with every other girl in the universe. Talk to me! I haven’t seen you in weeks, you know.”

Jo, his sister, leans over “It’s been two weeks, drama queen. Leave the poor girl alone.”

You smile at her and turn your attention toward Will. “I missed you too! And I am not lusting, thank you very much.”

He rolls his eyes, clearly not buying it. His sister jumps in again. “Even if she is, so what?” She’s single. She’s hot. She’s earned the right to lust. Who are we lusting after anyway?”

You subtly point your way back to where Jason is sitting. You don’t think he could make out your point from here but you still don’t want any chances of being too obvious.

Jo turns her head back, catching sight of him. “Ah. I admire your taste.” She giggles at you.

Will suddenly speaks up, “Ew.”

You both whip your heads towards him, Jo rolling her eyes at her brother. “We’re ignoring you now. It’s girl talk time.”

You lean into her side and nod your head over to Andrew. “No date for him tonight?”

She leans in closer to you to whisper, “Will and I begged him not to bring her.”

“You’re telling me that he was actually considering bringing her?” Your eyes widen in surprise.

Jo sighs and nods but before you can dig in more, the lights are going down. You settle back into your seat and lean back over to Will. “Hey, I really wasn’t lying earlier when I said I missed you too, you know.”

He grins at you, “Yeah, I know. Love You.”

You playfully pinch his cheek. “Love you too. Dork.”

The first half seems to fly by, which you weren’t expecting. The atmosphere was totally different from watching it from home.

At the sign of an upcoming commercial break, with the lights going up, everyone seems to be rising from their seats to find friends and mingle. There were actually a number of people making their way up to your little group in the front. To be fair, most of them seem to be stopping by to see Andrew and Will but there were a few coming up specifically to you as well, which was jarring to say the least. You were waiting to see if Jason or Brett would slide their way back over but they never did. You suppose you shouldn’t be too surprised though, they were both very popular in this crowd and you were sure they were getting bombarded with people of their own.

You fiddle with your bracelet again in the midst of the crowd, nerves crawling their way through your stomach. The music swells again signaling everyone to get back in their seats.

This cycle continues and you're surprised to find that during the next commercial break, a stream of actors that you adore make their way over to congratulate you on the film and commend you on your work. You’re growing increasingly grateful for that shot you took earlier, taking the nerves out of your conversations.

But you can’t relax too much quite yet since your category is up next. You’ve resigned yourself to accepting that you’re not going to win. You’re up against seasoned professionals whose talent is leaps and bounds above yours. You just want to get this section over - rip it off like a bandaid and then maybe go find Brett and Jason.

You watch with interest as they show clips from each film from all your nominees. Once your own scene comes up, you watch with a sense of detachment. Your mind wanders to whether or not there truly will be a sequel and if they would ask you back for it. You would be lying if you said you weren’t hoping for it. You really did love this role.

You’re pulled out of thoughts by a bright light and a camera. Right, the reaction shot. Give them a pleasant smile before they move on to the next woman.

It takes you a moment to realize that they aren’t moving on. Will is laughing beside you and prodding you to stand up.

Oh god, did you win? You didn’t even hear them announce it.

The nerves are back in full force.You stand and glance at the two sets of stairs, remembering the floor and these heels. Don’t fall. Don’t fall. God, who designed this place?

Will leans forward from his chair to gently push you toward the stairs since you seem to be too starstruck to move, which elicits some chuckles from the people around you. Andrew stands up and gives you his hand which you happily accept making your way up the stairs. Once you make it to the stage, an award is thrust in your hands and you stare down at it while you are ushered to the microphone in the center.

“Oh, wow.” you blink down at the trophy in your hand and a laugh bubbles out of you at the absurdity of this entire evening. You feel like you’re floating outside of your own body right now, How is this real life? The award is heavier than you were expecting.

“Man, I bet my mom is regretting not coming as my date now.” You say this more to yourself than anyone else, a round of laughter comes from the crowd in front of you. “This award really isn’t for me, it’s for everyone that worked so tirelessly on our film. Our producers, the director, the cast and crew. Will and Andrew, thank you for being the best costars a girl could ask for. Every decision I’ve made since the age of 14 has been in the interest of one day wanting to make movies and I am deeply indebted to every member of our team that put forth incredible, time consuming work to make that dream possible and every member of the board that voted to recognize the talent of that team.”

You nodded at the sign indicating for you to wrap up.

You giggle, “Mom and dad, I’ll let you fight over who gets to hold the trophy first the next time I come home. Thank you.”

You turn to be led offstage and are met with a flurry of motion behind the curtain. Interviewers were all over, wanting to get word with each performer after their win.

“It isn’t going to bite, you know.”

You whip your head around to find… Brett. He had been a presenter for the evening which you guess explains his presence back here.

“Oh, I know. I’m actually waiting for it to melt in my hands and then I’ll violently awaken from my dream.” You quip at him, not missing all the surrounding cameras that are surely catching every angle of this interaction.

He laughs at you and embraces you in a light hug, his hand hovering over the small of your back. Nodding his head toward the upcoming interviewers and their mics in hand. “Go on, then. There’s food beyond that door there once you get done talking to them.”

The mention of food pulls you back to reality. You are absolutely starving. You do some brief interviews and are led even further backstage where a stagehand directs you to a buffet style table with more food than you’ve ever seen in your life. You pause at the monitor to watch what is happening with the rest of the ceremony. You must have missed the best male lead award while you were being interviewed, you catch the tail end of applause while Brett makes his way back out to present the next award.

You survey the table, grab a napkin and pick up some food for yourself, you try to be careful with what you pick out, you haven’t always been the most graceful person and you’re sure your costume designer would not be thrilled at the sight of a stain on your dress.

You make your way towards the end of the table, working your trophy into the crook of your elbow as you attempt to pick up a flute of champagne. You felt ridiculous and you were sure you looked equally insane.

“Need a hand?” A soft touch grazes your shoulder and you jump slightly at the sound of Jason’s voice. You look down to see him holding a similar award in his hand, He won best actor and you missed it.

Jason motions in a way to indicate that he is going to grab your award to allow you the opportunity to pick up a glass. “Congratulations by the way.”

You nod your head down at his own award, “Congratulations to you too.”

Knocking your own drink back you remember your manners, “Oh - Here would you like one too?” looking at him to see both awards in his hands.

You place your food down to grab him a flute of champagne as he works his own award into the crook of his arm, taking the glass from your hand. He raises the glass to toast you.

Interviewers make their way to Jason and you sneak out of the way, not wanting to be caught on camera stuffing your face. The cameramen seem to take notice of the two awards in Jason’s grasp and raise their eyebrows, one camera pans wide to include you in the moment while you are mid sip. Great. You’re sure that will be a glamorous picture making its rounds on the internet tomorrow morning.

Jason takes it all in stride, no stranger to these types of events. “Oh, you know, what can I say? Can’t resist a lady in need of a hand.”

God, how does he not know how many women of the world are swooning over him right now?

The interviewers and cameramen seemed satisfied to move on to the number of other performers milling around backstage. Best Film has been announced and the night seems to be winding down, Jason reaches out and grabs your empty glass, you can’t help but note the feeling of his fingertips grazing over you as he grabs the glass. He disposes of both of your glasses at the end of the table where everyone seems to be sitting their discarded glasses from the evening.

Brett rejoins both of you, taking note of both awards still in Jason’s hands. “Careful there, love. If you don’t keep an eye on him, he will try to take both of those home with him.”

You laugh at him, “If he does, I believe he will have to fight my mother for it. She’ll probably be more upset than me, if I’m being honest.” you hold your hands up in surrender as jason rolls his eyes and reaches out to hand you back your trophy. You nod at him, “Thanks.”

Jason navigates his hand to your back. “Shall we take you back to your costars?” The two men are off again, guiding you through the crowd. You spot Jo at the side stage door and she waves her hand in an attempt to get your attention. She holds up your clutch. Thank god she thought to grab it from the crook of your seat after going onstage. Bless that woman.

Jo manages to scurry over to you, handing off your clutch. She shoots knowing eyes back and forth between you and Jason and you giggle at her. “You better fill me in on everything later.”

You roll your eyes, “There’s not much to fill - we only just met.”

Will makes his way over to the both of you. Gesturing down to your award, he says, “Are you going to carry that around with you to the after parties?”

Your eyes widen at him. “Parties? Plural? How late are we going to be staying out?” Which only elicits a laugh.

You take a moment to briefly pull your phone from your clutch to see an onslaught of calls and messages. You lock your phone back and decide to filter through all of them later when you can really give them your full attention.

Before you can put your phone back into your clutch, Brett makes his way to you. “May I?” He holds his hands out and glances down at your phone. You’re so charmed by him that you don’t question handing it over.

You watch as he swiftly types something into your phone and hands it back to you with a wink, “For future reference.” He sends a text to the new number he has programmed into your phone. “This way we can make sure that we will all run into each other again tonight.” He looks over to a small group that has formed around their seats, waiting for Jason and Brett to join with interest. Both he and Jason nod towards the group and Brett adds, “I believe we are being summoned.”

They depart and Will is quick to fill the empty space. Clapping his hands eagerly, he looks between you, Andrew and his sister. “So, where are we going first?”

— —

Will is determined to take the lead guiding you through the chaos that is award show after parties; Andrew has broken apart from the group and you and Jo share a glance with each other knowing that he is probably sneaking out to call her.

Will leads the three of you to your table and you turn your attention to your phone, grazing through the messages from friends and family. You snap a couple pictures to send off to people. Jo orders drinks for Will as you notice that he has already made his way to the dance floor. You order a drink of your own and place your phone down on the table, turning towards Jo.

Pointing to her brother, “Should we join him?”

She laughs at his antics. “Maybe later. He’s in full force tonight. With those dance moves, if we get too close he might take out an eye.”

Your phone rumbles on the tabletop and you both glance down at it. The word GOLDSTEIN flashing up on the screen. She swoops her hand down and picks up your phone, answering the call.

“Hello?” She sneaks a glance over to you, “Why, yes she is sitting right here. Yes… We’re at their table already… Ok.” She hangs up and glances your way, wiggling her eyebrows at you, “Those boys are really enamored with you, you know.”

“What?” You ask, surely she must be mistaken.

The server returns with your drinks and you make an attempt at a half-stand to wave down Will to signal to him that his drink is here. When you rise, however, you are met with Jason and Brett making their way towards you.

Jason seems to make it to you first, “Hello, again.” he flashes you a gorgeous smile.

“Hi.”

Will makes his way back over to the table, plucking the glass off the tabletop. Brett settles in next to Jo, introducing himself. Will comes over, slinging his arm around your shoulder, looking between Jason and you. “I gotta tell you, Sudeikis, I’m glad she ran into you tonight. Huge fangirl, this one. When we weren’t filming she was gabbing on and on about how much she loves your work.”

Jason looks over at you, giving you a surprised glance, “...Really?”

You shoot daggers in Will’s direction. “Well, I won’t deny I’m a fan, but I don’t think I was that embarrassing about it, right Will?”

Will sends you a sheepish look. “Right, sorry.” looking back towards Jason he says, “My apologies, she only loves you a totally normal amount.” With that, he’s back on the dance floor again.

“I’m so sorry about that..” You trail off, not really sure where to go from here.

Jason shrugs it off, “No need. I appreciate the appreciation. The feeling is certainly mutual.”

The rest of the night powers on in a blur of dancing, conversation, photos, meetings with celebrities you never dreamed you would get a chance to meet. Jason removes his suit jacket as the night goes on and you have to order another shot at the sight of him.

At some godforsaken hour, everyone seems to agree to call it a night. Once you make it back, lying in bed, thankful to finally be free of your heels and off your feet, you scroll through your phone, looking at all the additional contacts you’ve made through the night.

You send a photo of your trophy to your parents, safe and sound on your bedside table, proving to them that you didn’t lose it through all the festivities of the night.

You halt your scrolling and hover over Jason’s name. You’re not entirely sure when he even got the chance to do so, but at some point in the evening, Jason had managed to add his own phone number into your contact list, along with a contact photo, with the one little tendril falling down over his forehead.

You’re sure that sleep will be difficult to come by but eventually, as it always does, even on nights when you think it’s impossible, sleep finds its way to you anyway.

– —

The hotel phone is shrieking loudly in your ear, jolting you awake. You pick it up, answering while still half asleep.

“Hello?” you mumble.

You immediately recognize the voice of your agent, Todd, on the other end of the line. “Good morning sunshine! Long night? Did you have a good time?” sounding way too chipper for this hour of the morning. Knowing your agent, he’s probably downing his fourth cup of coffee as he speaks.

You stretch in bed, taking a peak at the clock. “Oh Jesus, Todd. It’s only 7 AM, Can’t I sleep in a little bit more?” You’re sure this isn’t going to happen though, even if Todd were to hang up right now. Once you wake up, you can’t get back to sleep.

“I’m calling from the lobby - I have something I want to show you. You have until I finish reading this article and then I will be up there.” He hangs up and you lift yourself out of bed, preparing yourself for his arrival.

Putting the finishing touches on trying to make yourself appear more awake, you hear a knock on the door, darting up through the peephole, you spot Todd, with a steaming cup of coffee in hand, bless him.

Opening the door, you scoop the cup from his hands. “You’re a godsend.” you say, taking a gulp of the drink in your hands.

He steps into the doorway, looking you up and down. “Well, you seem to be the same girl I’ve worked with these past few months.”

Rolling your eyes at his antics, “Todd, it’s one award.”

“I know but you made quite the impression last night it seems. He holds up a stack of papers and magazines. “I wasn’t sure how much you had seen on the internet, so I bought a few for you to check out. The clip of Will having to practically push you on stage is being talked about quite a bit.”

He takes to unfolding the publications, reading the headlines to you. “Blushing breakout star steals our hearts at first big event!”

He tosses the article your way and you’re just starting to read it when he interrupts again. “However, this one is my favorite: “Costar Competition: Sudeikis Vs. Goldstein; who will win the heart of Hollywood’s newest headliner?”

He dives into a dramatic reading of the article, you grab his arm and stop it from wildly swinging around so you can get a look at the article in question. There’s the pictures of you backstage with Brett and Jason, taking up the page. “Good lord, this made it to the presses quickly.”

He reaches over and picks up your trophy from your bedside table, locking it in your room’s safe. “You should probably get prepared for more attention.”

“Should I warn them? I should warn them, right?”

You open your phone to see Jason’s silly contact photo and smile at yourself, drafting a text to him first.

I hope this doesn’t wake you.

Todd chuckles at you. “I’m sure they already know or they’re going to as soon as they wake up today.”

You continue your message to Jason, If you haven’t seen it already, we made the papers. I’m so sorry! You snap a picture of the article laid out before him and attach it to your message.

You don’t have to wait long before a text from Jason lights up your screen.

No apology needed. You didn’t wake me, been up for a couple hours with the kids. I saw the headlines, they picked some lovely photos - you were stunning in that dress.

You re-read through the message twice, trying to calm your beating heart. Another message pops up.

I hate that we got so interrupted last night with everything going on. If you’d like, we could try again over lunch tomorrow?

Oh, you would like very much. You show the message to Todd, confirming with him that your schedule is free. Thankfully, it is.

Todd guides you to your waiting car, driving you to the set of the latest press interview you are doing with Will today.

You spot Will sitting there, reading through the article about Jason and Brett and scurry towards him, hugging him from behind, albeit a bit awkwardly, since he is sitting and you’re standing. You work your head into the crook of his shoulder and read along with him. “Good Morning!”

Will laughs at you, turning his head and giving you a kiss on the temple. “Hi. "How much sleep did you manage to squeeze out last night?”

You shrug, “About two hours.”

Sitting in your own chair next to him, he continues, “You were keeping pace with us while drinking last night. How’s your head?”

“Eh, I probably should have stopped drinking sooner but I’ve definitely felt worse.”

“By the way, Jo has requested that I inform you that the two of you are going house hunting soon. We don’t want you hotel hopping so much.”

You sigh, “I get it, but I don’t know what projects are coming down the pipe. Does it really make sense to put down roots somewhere with all the traveling?”

Wil throws his hands up in surrender, “Hey, that’s entirely up to you. I was just told to deliver the message.”

Your phone buzzes with an incoming message and you see it’s from Brett.

Quite the article, I’ve gotten the chance to read through it in between filming. It was great meeting you last night. Are you staying in town long?

About a week, you guess. Although with the promotional tour for All Your Monsters coming to close, that could always change. You tell him this and then your phone lights up again, this time with a message from Jason.

Can’t wait to see you for lunch tomorrow. Dress for comfort!

You smile down at your phone, not only are you going out with Jason Sudeikis tomorrow, but he can’t wait to see you tomorrow? What is this life?

You look over to see Will still entranced with the article. “I hate that Jason and Brett have been pulled into this.” you murmur.

Will looks at you, “That’s how it works. You have to work to ensure that you have a private element to your life. Just because you’re in the public eye, doesn’t mean the public gets free access to every part of your life.”

Todd enters the room, interrupting your conversation. “Do you have a plan for tomorrow? Do you know where you’re meeting? Do I need to order a car?”

Will excitedly jumps into the conversation, “Oh, what’s happening tomorrow? Fill me in!”

You explain the latest developments of your plans with Jason to Will and he tries and fails to suppress a grin. “Sure sounds like a date to me.” He waves the magazine between the two of you. “I bet the press will be salivating to get pictures of that.” You start to smile again and Will doesn’t let it pass without comment, “God, you’re already completely smitten with the man aren’t you? God, I pity every man hoping to win your heart, now that you’ve met him in the flesh, none of the rest of us will be able to compete!”

You roll your eyes at him. How many men could there really be out there hoping to win your heart?

[discluded]

I am very new to the world of BL fandom but are cp fan reactions always this extreme if the actors move on in their career and work with other people or is this week just a bad week with the massive BBB posters at Bible's event and the truck protesting outside of GMMTV about the Ohmnanon "breaking up". I know that popular actors get paired up for multiple projects but I assume they must change up couples and act with others as pairs every once in a while or after a few years?

hey friend, I'm going to answer this in a way that is circuitous that I think will better address your question.

the first part is: have fandoms always been volatile to the extent a segment of fans will organize to engage their ability to bully / cause harm rather than engage positively?

yes and no, in the sense this is a relatively new phenomenon in the entirety of organized fannish history (which let's just give due credit to our foremothers of fannish history the star trek fandom and their zines.)

but it's not so new because this started around 15 years ago, when people in fandom realise they could also organize to to create very targeted harm

these are the primary examples coming to mind:

Girls Generation (snsd) black ocean

Super Junior's official fanclub members organizing to buy company stock to prevent an 18 year old boy from joining the group lineup

In both these instances, tens of thousands of fans (for fantastics here) organized specifically to harm a person or group of people. the intent objective was specifically to harm.

the bad learned lesson from both these incidents (2008) is that fans can bind together to throw a fit if they don't get their way.

the second is: is it common for fans / fandoms of actor pairs to act this way?

and the more complex answer to that is, fandom is not a single conscious entity, and categorically similar fandoms often do not have a high overlap of active fans, usually at most 1-2 fandoms at a time. don't get me wrong, you'll see a lot of mileapo fans who are also bts fans, and I would bet you'll see a much smaller count of bts fans and exo fans overlap than you would see of bts fans and mileapo fans. any similarities you find in how fans between the first two groups act like one another is more the result of the categorical meta fan culture (here: kpop) rather than because the same people are perpetuating these behaviors while acting as fans of both these groups

for this reason I hesitate to call fandoms drama-mongering because these behaviors are perpetuated by individuals, or by a group of individuals, and not even necessarily by a group that represents the majority belief of the fandom. the fact of the matter is, people will participate in fandom regardless of if you like them or not, and some of there people are bullies or stalkers or overall terrible human beings. you can't make them stop engaging with your favorite actor or musician or couple because you can't control anyone but yourself. the only thing you can do is take the wind out of their sails by not engaging.

if you're wise to Ye Olde Harry Potter fandom lore, you'll know there was a specific segment. of fandom which known as highly dramatic but it wasn't because they liked a certain character or couple - it was because these individuals were drama mongering bullies to begin with, who continued that behavior in other fandoms. One of these infamous people bullied two different friends of mine in two different fandoms 6 years apart, and continues to instigate negativity in the fandoms they choose to engage in. you can't stop this person from joining a fandom... you can only limit their power by not engaging.

so the the answer to your specific question are all fandoms this dramatic? no, or they don't act in that way at least. MewGulf (TharnType) fans continued to invest in delusions by "I've connected the dots.jpeg" normal posts by both parties despite Mew's explicit rejection of their fantasies and his refusal to engage. However, they didn't have a problem with MG moving onto other acting projects without the other. Mew even worked with Tul of MaxTul/Manner of Death on a project but it wasn't BL. however, Max will be involved in the new mafia Thai BL releasing next year that's already been cast and as far as I can see, Tul isn't involved. I haven't heard of any grievances thus far from their fans but that doesn't mean there aren't any, and even if there are, I doubt the reaction would be organize to specifically harm Max's career / limit his opportunities.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, you have what Apolaris did in August, which was purposefully sabotaging Man Suang promo and embarrassing Apo in front of business partners and sponsors because they want the opposite: for Apo to stop working with Mile.

to circle back to the beginning: 1) it has nothing to do with the specific fandom topic, people can feel a sense of entitlement and desire to control regardless of who it is what behavior they want to happen and 2) a small group of people can disproportionately cause harm if they are organized enough and vindictive enough. that doesn't necessarily represent the majority fan view, but it can over time if their bullying behavior towards other fans drive the more reasonable people out of fandom , leaving only those who agree with theie toxic mindset.

do fandoms always have these people? in this day and age, almost inevitably, yes. and they are unfortunately also resilient to being bullied out of fandom themselves but plenty good at playing the victim. the best thing one can do is ignore their entitled, obnoxious behavior (private shit talking totally allowed)

*please in advance forgive my typos. the keyboard is generating weirder autocorrects of correct words every day. Please pretend to not see it

[that-guy-smeaton]

10 Life Lessons to learn from the Korean Drama Summer Strike

Summer Strike is a healing Korean Drama with a slice of life that revolves around the grief-stricken young woman who moved to the countryside after failing to chase her dreams of having a better life in Seoul. Here are the ten life lessons that I have grasped from this KDrama that might encourage you to watch this, too:  

1.      Quitting doesn’t always mean letting go of the opportunity, some times it can also be taking a step back to make a fresh start. And it doesn’t make us a loser. In fact, it makes us more courageous. Dropping everything that is bothering us when life seems to be cold, dark, and weary is not an easy thing to do. Thus as long as we’re still breathing, we just need to take a rest, self-reflect, try again, and go on with life. 

2.      Do not trade your inner peace for a paycheck. You are being compensated for your valuable service, not as someone to be bullied for. Never let someone look down on you and power trip you.

3.      You don’t have to be sorry for choosing the path that you want. Just because everyone is going on the same path doesn’t mean that you also have to. Going in the opposite direction of everyone else might be the right decision to find a peaceful and quiet path because sometimes living a simple life to the fullest is all that we need.

4.      Kindness will never be ineffective. It is contagious that even if you did not ask for something in return for showing someone genuine kindness, it would always be human nature to express gratitude in so many ways as a form of deep appreciation.  

5.      Having a goal in life takes time, and that’s okay. It’s alright to enjoy the present moment while finding your purpose. There is nothing wrong with living your life for yourself alone and not to please other people’s expectations. It is your life anyway.

6.      Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes will help you go on with life. Sometimes, to be able to avoid conflict, we just have to be more understanding and patient. Empathy is one of the main ingredients of a happy life.  

7.      Dreams do not only mean pursuing a career path and living a lavish life. For some, contentment, joy, and life satisfaction are the end goals of life. The life that allows you to feel the chilly breeze against your face, ride a bike for as long as you want to, decide what book to read, hear the sound of the laundry shaking before hanging it, and smell the lingering scent of detergent in your hand These feel great. And these are already enough.

8.      Surrender your feelings. There’s nothing wrong with liking someone, regardless of whether your feelings will be reciprocated or not. Do not ever worry. Sometimes seeing someone you like is already a good thing.

9.      Being alone does not mean you have to be lonely. People just have different interests and preferences, and if yours do not match theirs, that’s all right. There is nothing more fulfilling than enjoying your own company and creating a safe space.

10.  Stop being hard on yourself. Nothing is harsher than living your life in a daze and being afraid of failure, falling behind, and criticism. Self-love starts with having self-confidence and tenacity that will push us to try harder no matter what happens.

[eiightysixbaby]

Okay. So. Serious question here. Curiosity-born, not me trying to be a dick.

Jonathan has proven over and over to be a great brother to Will (especially the loving and accepting way he reacted to Will's not-coming out coming out, which is as big a deal as Steve's acceptance of Robin given how things were in the 80s when it came to non-cishet folks and doubly so in small towns... a mindset that still carries on in small towns to this day, unfortunately) and son to Joyce. We can tell he loves his family a lot and would do anything for them.

But... -Making Nancy enter and leave the house through the window instead of the door, as if Joyce wouldn't know she was there (season 3) -Being dismissive and basically misogynistic in essentially telling Nancy to suck it up and deal with the abuse she gets at the Post for the sake of his future career (season 3) -The non-con undies pics of Nancy w/ and w/o Steve involved (season 1) -Lying to Nancy about college (season 4)

How do you reconcile these things? Especially that third one.

for the first point, I think you’re reading too far into it. they’re teens being teens. they think they’re slick and they’re probably not.

second point, both jonathan and nancy are ignorant to the others’ point of view during that argument. they’re both right in some ways, and wrong in some ways, and they both realize afterwards that they said some fucked up things. I also don’t think it’s solely for the sake of his future career. he wants better for her, too, he knows she wants to work for the paper. and so he’s hoping they’ll both gain experience and move up. he’s obviously not understanding that the men of the company don’t view her as anything other than a servant, but I think after that blowout fight he realizes how wrong he was.

third one. the photos are wrong. in my opinion, jonathan knows this, even as he’s taking them. we clearly see, especially in season one, how alone and socially awkward jonathan is. I’m not saying this as an excuse for taking the photos, but I truly believe what he said when he told nancy that when he takes photos, it’s because they often tell a story and say things the people won’t actually say out loud in real life. he doesn’t talk to people, really, but he looks at things from his artistic perspective and maybe gets far too caught up in that. I think initially, before clothes started to come off, he was like “oh, an interesting photo opportunity”…. and then it just got way further out of hand. does any of this make it right? no! but he apologizes for his wrongdoings and we never see him do anything creepy again. he clearly learned from that.

fourth, I think he’s literally just scared. he’s not trying to be a dick, but he doesn’t want to disappoint the girl he loves so much. he went along with her dreams and finally realized it’s not what he wants, and it’s obviously going to be a shock to her when he tells her he changed his mind. he also probably understands that dropping a bomb like that on her over the phone or something, would suck.

[thewingedmuse]

𝙈𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝘼 𝙒𝙞𝙨𝙝

In celebration of Chinese New Year, my spirit companions and I are excited to bring forward a Make A Wish event. This is a tradition that has been practised in our spirit family in past years. We now invite you to partake in it, and hope that the year ahead will be amazing and magical for everybody! 🎋 🐇

This event will be open from 21st January to 28th January 2023 [2359 UTC+8]

NOW CLOSED 🐰🎋

Please peruse the rules carefully.

1. Send your request as well as other requirements in one ask. No anons; private replies available. Your ask must include:

🎋 Your Wish

🎋 Your Name or Nickname you feel most represents yourself (no initials unless it's your nickname then you have to specify it)

🎋 Your Offerings

2. Reblog this post.

3. Wish Requirements

⭐ Be brief and straight-to-the-point. Only one topic, like if it's love, then make it only about love.

⭐ You may wish for wealth, luck, love, peace, self growth or health.

⭐ Wishes align your energies with the things you wish for. They also open up opportunities in your life. However, wishes are not miracles. You have to work on your goal and be quick to grasp opportunities in order to get what you want.

⭐ If you are not sure whether your wish is okay, then you're welcome to leave a comment before you send your ask.

⭐ Suggestions for you

- I wish to align with my highest self in all my deeds and feelings.

- I wish to be a better friend, lover, family member and member in society.

- I wish to embrace both my feminine and masculine sides to achieve true harmony with my identity.

- I wish to have protection and guidance in all the things I do.

- I wish for love in all forms, in all ways.

- I wish I will always find money whenever I need it.

- I wish for a lucrative career.

- I wish to reunite with a soulmate. (No specific person please.)

- I wish to have the discernment and courage to cut away unwanted people in my life.

- I wish for the courage to move on from this situation.

- I wish for academic achievements.

- I wish my efforts will be seen and appreciated.

- I wish to enhance my inner and outer beauty.

⭐ We will not accept wishes like these:

- Please do not write to us about a specific illness or condition. We are a shifter, a djinn and a human but we aren't doctors. Please wish for health instead.

- Anything that bends people's free will like “make X fall in love with me” and “make X text me back”.

- Selfish or abusive wishes.

4. Your Offerings

⭐ In order to partake in this event, you have to prepare offerings for the beings who volunteer their energy for it to be a success.

⭐ If your request is accepted, one of the beings would work on it alongside me. However, no matter who would be working on your request you must first provide offerings for both.

⭐ Offerings for M — “A fine, loving day honouring yourself is what I wish for. Take the time to savour what being by yourself, enjoying your own company feels like. Write me a letter if you will, or just something short. It's the experience that counts.”

⭐ Offerings for K — K would like to receive photograph(s) of dragon statues, I-Ching coins and/or purple gems. He has always enjoyed these items, and would love to take a look at the ones that you find unique and beautiful. You can take pictures or search online as long as it's not random ones but ones you truly like. “Bonus points - tell me why you like them,” said K.

Here are the beings' basic info:

Djinn, M [they/them]

M is a gentle and loving soul. They are focused on wishes involving self love and self care. They will not undertake wishes that benefit only oneself.

Ancient Dragon Shifter, K [he/him]

K is a protective and strongly honour-aligned individual. He specified that he will only undertake morally right wishes.

[moshintheteagaiwan]

T.Kettle: My Time At The Most Poorly Run Tea Shop - Part 1

I was one of the lucky few who got the chance to get their start in working in the world of tea at the now defunct Teavana brand stores. Working at Teavana was undoubtedly some of the best days of my life and the fondest days of my 20’s. Working there gave me the chance to meet so many fantastic friends and I even met my wife working there. Truth be told had it not closed in 2017 I may still be there.

I’ve never worked anywhere like there since. There was just something about the atmosphere. The team I worked with was one of a kind. Maybe it was that we were still living on the last legs of mall shopping? Whatever it was I’ve ever since longed to find that kind of feeling and happiness in the workplace again.

When Teavana closed the obvious move many thought I would make was to jump to DavidsTea. But by this time I had greater responsibilities and the only logical way for me to make that jump would be for a management position which wasn’t available at the time. And so I decided it was time to do something different. Through a conversation with the store’s pest control technician I was led to the field of pest control. There are several different reasons I chose this route but the most notably being it was an easy field to get into without needed to go back to school, and it paid very well.

And so just 2 weeks after Teavana closed it’s doors, I began my new career as an exterminator. The work had it perks. I got to be very independent and didn’t have to answer to my boss daily. The pay was very good and gave the extra cash flow I wanted. I had a company truck I could use as needed and benefits. But the work was also long and took a heavy toll on my body. Especially on summer days when I would be working outside in 40+ degree heat.

I debated daily about trying to find something better. An office position where I had Air conditioning in summer and heat in the winter. Where I could work with a team again. That also came with high pay and benefits. But as many of you may know, those jobs are few and far between these days, so I stuck with it. Then in 2020 as DavidsTea began shutting down stores, word got out that a new tea brand was launching in the old DavidsTea locations. The brand was to be run by the owner other big retail chains such as Sunrise Records, HMV, & FYE, who had purchased leases for closed DavidsTea stores.

When I got word that a new location would be opening in the mall opposite of where my old Teavana store was, and that they were looking for a manager, I decided to jump on it. Within a few days of applying I had a virtual interview as we were still in the middle of Covid restrictions. The interview went well and after speaking to the T-Kettle representative I had a great feeling that something good was about to come. A couple weeks later I got a call back – I HAD GOTTEN THE JOB!

Finally I would get my chance to return to working in the world of tea. This time as the head honcho of my own store. I would get to work with a team again and be around my favourite thing – TEA! I was told that I would be responsible for hiring my own staff and got straight to work on finding my new staff, and put my 2 weeks notice in at the pest control company I was working for. Within a couple weeks I had found my new staff and was given the date to meet at the new location for orientation and staff training.

This is where the story really begins. This is the story of my time at T.Kettle and the story of the tea brand that could have been great but quickly became a sinking ship.

[cato-of-blamesociety]

32 Weeks Tracklist/Song Picks pt. 1 (weeks 1-8)

How/Why did I choose/chose to use the songs I did

*Full breakdown, updated in real time(weekly)*

1. Silent Hill by Kendrick Lamar x Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers

This song was chosen due to subtle melodies but a hard hitting beat. MMATBS played a huge role in my life last summer when it debuted. I followed Kenny like crazy, checking his insta and youtube regularly to see what he would do next. The music videos were food that I consumed over and over again, trying to fully tap into his message. There were other tracks in the album I wanted to remix such as; Purple Hearts/N95/Crown...but Silent Hill just felt more like my style. The lyrics basically wrote themselves. I was able to adequately outline my views for this project, and my goals quickly in the introduction.

2. Promise by Lupe Fiasco x Drogas Light

Drogas was released in 2017, and honestly I can't recall which project I heard first: Drogas or DAMN(Kendrick). I do remember copping the physical CD at a Target and bumping it in the whip on my way home. Lupe has always been a favorite artist of my mine. Dopest metaphors, cool ass voice, and he doesnt compromise his craft. Anyway, in the song, he raps about how rappers lie so much that they can't maintain thier image or even their careers. For me, I have always wanted to rip this beat and I finally did. It provided a dope but repetitive rhythmic framework for me to lay out my direction, my goals, and intentions as a(n): husband, father, artist, this project, and really my life in general moving forward. I hope you vibe with it heavy.

3. Cuff If by Beyonce x Renaissance

As a recent fan of Beyoncé (Lemonade, Everything is Love, Black is King, and Renaissance), I have come to really use the messaging to lean more into my partner. The music that was released (Lemonade and beyond) I felt spoke more to me about cherishing these relationships between spouse, our children and our community. I may not have a huge impact on the world, but to someone close to me, I know that my existence may mean the world to them. This is especially true with marriage. At least mine. We learn to love each other better, to grow together, and hell, parent together. It's not easy. So it's moments like this one where we enjoy our company and have fun.

4. Cut Me a Break ft. TI x The Free Nationals

I happened to stumble across The Free Nationals about 2 years ago. I had begun listening to Anderson.Paak which put me on to Mac Miller, BJ the Chicago Kid, and The Free Nationals. There is a Tiny desk concert that made me respect Paak's talent but also his playfulness with the band made me want learn more. I searched them on Spotify and found that they had released a Self-titled album in 2019...which comes after the death of Mac Miller. He makes an appearance on "Time" and makes me tear up. Anyway, I love the fact that they also released an instrumental version of the album. I knew that I wanted to incorporate them on this project, and this track, "Cut Me a Break" features T.I. coming in hot, and honestly, I don't follow T.I.P.'s music so it was dope to hear an up to date verse from him. I have come to respect and admire his distinguished voice which definitely pops with the band's instrumentation. When I was jamming the instrumental, I starting hearing/coming up with magic metaphors. My album (at the moment untitled/nearly completed) is based on alchemy, growth and self improvement, and 32 weeks is another way to play with that motif and set the stage for the album release. Hope you enjoy!

5. Gray Area ft. Mick Jenkins x Kaytranada

Not going to lie to you all, Kaytranada was a fresh one on my radar. I really didn't know about him. In the beginning stages of writing this tape, I was on the hunt for new music, and it slips my mind but there was trajectory that I followed to landed me to find him. I believe the first project I heard was 99.9% . Then I checked out Bubba which made me realize I f***s with Kay's music. I was super excited when I saw that Bubba had an Instrumental Version. Next step was narrowing down which track I would use. This process took longer than expected because as true Kaytranada fans know...each track was hot. There were so many options. I ended up finding myself being moved by Gray Area. I loved the visualizer he had posted YouTube as well. Next thing you know, I began opening up about my parents, more so my dad, and how their passed down the creativity that I now express. I was visiting my mom one day with my wife and kids. She had on her dinning room table old cards/letters from years past. I spotted one that my dad had made/gave to her. It had his handwriting and omg it was very NSFW lol. Not really but it was definitely cringy for an adult son to read about his father's feelings for his mother. However, my mom began sharing stories about them dating, the nicknames, etc. I realized I got my naughty side from them, and my spark to create/write from my dad. I am truly grateful for that info, as it helps me understand who I am, and what I want to do with my life. I spue some serious dope lines in this track. I hope you enjoy!

6. Fake Names x Freddie Gibbs & Madlib

This one was fun to write. I really stretched my brain to make the metaphors work. A friend introduced me to Freddie's music. I believe Pinata was the first song I heard him on. I definitely went through his whole catalog. Much respect to his craft. When selecting Fake Names, i was searching through his more recent works and I had remembered that his collab with Madlib was fire. Those beats are gold. This one just stuck out the most most. Easy flow, to really take time to dig into the bars, low ambience for vocal presence to shine, and the beat switch which signals the end of my verse. I love the beginning lines expressing my goals. 3 main points: acknowledgement as an emcee, obtaining the bag, and completing every project in the works at the moment. Watch me accomplish each goal!

7. Wailin' x Outkast

This track I feel is straight forward. Although, it should be noted that Wailin' is the oldest track/instrumental that I chose for this project. There really is no true reason why, especially since I was aiming to keep tracks more modern...like no earlier than 2010ish. I have always loved Outkast and ATLiens & Aquemini are my favorite 'Kast albums. I have used Liberation on a previous project. I had begun writing the verse a long time ago, but never gotten around to finish it. However once I was in 32Weeks mode, it was easy and fun to complete. My favorite line pays homage to a song on the ATLiens album (not this one in particular) "Don't wanna float face down in the mainstream, I'd rather walk to my destination on my own two feet..". "Mainstream" speaks a lot about how artist end up either selling out, selling their "souls" , or even flopping/dead all for the fame. I don't worry about that. I do aim for recognition of my effort and skills as an artist, the bread for that said effort, and to continue doing what I do. I hope that if you are reading this you can understand and identify with all that I say. Also, as someone who is working hard to make a dream a reality, I hope you know that if you feel the same pain, the torment, or even the struggles of everyday life, I got you. That is precisely the reason I make music, to help the listeners cope with life.

8. Umbrella ft. 21 Savage x Metro Boomin

This one was one that I truly found joy in writing. Metro Boomin's productions are always fire. You will see later that I indulged in his work for this project. I came across the Album Heroes and Villains and really didn't truly understand where Metro was going with this. I knew it was catchy af though because each track had it's own vibe, and audio return value. The 1st two tracks are what really pulled me in. As I was searching for beats for 32weeks, I knew I wanted a Metro track...then I discovered that he released the Hero's version of his album...which the second half had all the instrumentals. It was like he was asking for artists to take a stab at creating their own origin stories/sharing them. Which is exactly what I did. Because I am adapting my own story to his track I decided to tell my story of my younger self; death of father, single mother household, selling substances, getting arrested for selling said substances, growing out of that mindset, and walking into the man that I am today. Needless to say, just like this only the first phase of journey, it is also just the beginning of 32 Weeks. I hope those of you seeing this..today 8/30/23 as I write this, or ten/twenty years later, that you find a gem or glimmer of hope from my heart to yours.

[kaleuh]

I made a life decision two days ago that may change everything drastically again ahahaha

I love my job very much. It's the only thing I've felt 100% good at career-wise. Even when I worked in production, everything seemed so daunting and big that I always had to hide how afraid I was to undertake certain tasks I was assigned. I would always do my job happily, of course, but with half of the responsibilities given to me, there was always an undercurrent of, "when are they going to realize that i'm a fraud? i shouldn't be touching any of this, these projects are too cool and important for my clumsy hands, etc."

Of course, a lot of the fear was related to the post-production work I was assigned. I'm not an editing expert, by any means. But the pre-production work? Oh man. That was where I felt completely in my element. Creating pitch decks and finding stories and doing talent outreach and organizing set lists and script coordination? That was my jam!! Sure, half of pre-production is administrative tasks, but even doing those felt so invigorating. I love getting to be involved in any aspect of a script. Hell, if it wasn't for scripts and screenwriting, I kind of feel like I wouldn't have survived the past three years.

The way I've been able to find contentment and stability at all in the past three years is because of two things: my current job, and fully immersing myself in my own private writing projects. My current job is more marketing/data related, but it still revolves around the creative industry, which I love. So I'm never not being creative, but...it also pays like garbage. Everything else about it is perfect - I get to work from home, I love my coworkers, I find the work to be incredibly easy and fulfilling, but...this salary won't allow me to build a future for myself. It's a small company, and we've hemorrhaged employees left and right in the past few years. I've gotten "Employee of the Month" more times than I can count. There keeps being stated promises of "things getting better" but...I'm the top performer in my department and all they ""were able"" to give me this year was a 50 cent raise. Meanwhile, my boss lives in a gorgeous house in a rich neighborhood.

A few days ago, I was ruminating on the fact that my entire department (despite being told we're "the backbone of the company") still lives with their parents and cannot even afford a studio (we're all in our late 20's or early 30's.) This includes my manager, who is working himself to the bone for very little money. So I thought, "you know what, fuck it," and out of curiosity did a 1-minute job search. I did not count on finding anything interesting. I did.

Let me tell you, I did not count on finding a job that aligned with my exact employment history, that is also remote. It's marketing, which I'm good at. But it's screenwriting, which I'm passionate about. A fresh posting. $50k per year. My god, I felt my stomach turning as I watched my hands move faster than my head to apply. I felt like a guilty wretch, like a total backstabber to my department, the thing that has given me stability in the worst years of my life. But my god, how am I to have any good years ever again if I cannot start my life?

I'm sick to my stomach, attempting to rid myself of the one stable thing that has kept me afloat. And what do I gain in return? Change? My mortal enemy? Why do this to myself? Why rock the boat? It's not a stable boat, it's a raft on a river, or as I like to call it, a courtesy rental of a room in my friend's mom's house.

But I suppose that's the problem. I live in someone else's home. It's not my own place. My friend's mom is a very good landlord (even though there is no such thing) but at the end of the day, I'm still living in some lady's house. Sure, it's nice to live with one of my best friends, but it still feels like I live with a family that is not my own. I can't decorate this place like it's mine. I can't sing at the top of my lungs. I barely get any privacy, and there have been so many animals in this house that I'm allergic to pretty much everywhere except my room.

The point is, I can't stay here forever. And if I want to dream of having anything of my own, then things have to change. But this means leaving my friend, and leaving my coworkers. I have no idea where the future will lead me if I get this job, and that makes me want to vomit. Pretty much all change has been bad in the past few years. but i want to hope again. i want to hope i can see the sky and the sun and the clouds again one day. i want to hope change can be good for me again.

I hope I get it. I fucking hope I don't. I hope I never hear back from them, I hope I never even get an interview. I hope I do.

[strapskinkstories]

Massive Panic Attack - Disaster Averted - Never Will I Abandon You!

https://www.flickr.com/photos/alinslive/52131708662/in/datetaken-public/

Today was terrible in some respects, in other respects it was great.

Good news first: I’m soon getting a pair of one of a kind harnesses from a friend! @RubberDogBronco and @RubberDogMagnus on Twitter are going to be helping me. I’ll be getting exact copies of their harnesses. I have drooled over their harnesses for days on end and just seeing them makes me want to curl up with them. I can’t yet though so I’ll curl up with the harnesses I have on hand.

Bad news: I had a massive panic attack today. The only way to get things under control was to have a smoke and then get in bed with my harnesses crank the music to 11 (Terrible Spinal Tap reference I know) and forget the world. Lucky for me I was able to stop the panic attack without needing to take emergency medicines or worse go to the emergency room. We had a contractor here to do a new install of a pair of doors and as soon as he started hammering and using the pneumatic nailer my brain went absolutely haywire. Luckily for me I know how to execute a ‘soft shutdown’ procedure that involves a few steps. I often forget to initiate this procedure during panics and the consequences are often costly.

1. Run to my bedroom

2. Grab the headset and crank the music

3. Grab my harnesses or a ton of straps and get buried under them

It’s literally the only way I can get myself distracted enough in situations of major panic. I often forget the second step which is a crucial component to getting my brain elsewhere, especially if the panic is set off by LOUD NOISES.

Bad news Item 2: Looks like I won’t be going into locksmithery. It’s not a financially smart move for me to make the expense of buying into a locksmithing career and potentially endangering myself. Locksmiths by occupation often get called into dangerous situations like icy sidewalks, severe rainstorms, or bad neighborhoods with gunshots in the area. I am a person with cerebral palsy, I can easily slip and fall and boom, end of my career & potentially a $500,000 healthcare bill that I’ll be on the hook for because if I’m making locksmith money I won’t be entitled to social security, medicare, or medicaid. And locksmith money doesn’t exactly pay for stellar health insurance or good things at entry level. If I’m called to a bad neighborhood and hear gunshots, I’ll run from the work site and speed off in my car which could cost me my job. It’s a good hobby and a good interest to add to my vanilla list. It’s a good skill to have to know how to pick locks, if I ever get locked out of my house or locked out of my safe or another belonging I can probably pick the lock open now that I know the basics of how locks work and how to pick them.

THE REAL GOOD NEWS: This has all summed up into a Discovery. 

I’ve for a long time kept chasing at vanilla careers. I tried to get into medical coding, I spent $400 on code books that are mostly just very fancy living room decor. Though they’ll at least help me when I need to fight the insurance company on something and don’t want to go digging on the internet through unreliable references. I have the same books the insurance reps use. So it’s not totally wasted money. They’re a good resource to have around, kind of like having a fire extinguisher in the kitchen, you probably don’t need it, but you’re better off having it.

THE REALITY IS: I AM A MUSEUM DEPOSITORY INSTITUTION CURATOR & A SENSORY EXPLORATION THERAPIST!

I’VE HAD A JOB ALL ALONG, IT’S LITERALLY RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE!

After being manipulated and abused by Catholic Clergy member for many years of my life I have discovered that they have been trying to force me to become a straight person for a long time. They have also been manipulating me and trying to get me away from a REAL CAREER and REAL LOVE. I have all my life loved harnesses and straps. Since I was a kid I would steal belts out of my dads wardrobe and sleep with them wrapped around my head, particularly my eyes and mouth. I liked the shiny leather on my eyes and the feel on my lips is relaxing. I’ve over many years built a massive collection of harnesses and belts. Some of which are hard to find or now completely impossible to find.

I am not only a adult entertainer, I’m a museum curator, a depository institution holding a collection. A sensory explorer and pioneer. When I have someone visit my house and play with me, it’s not just play, there’s science happening. Human sciences of sensory exploration and therapy. 

To abandon MY CAREER for a drones job of locksmithing or medical coding is to abandon over 3000 followers and throw them all under a bus. To abandon my career is to shutter the doors of a museum holding artifacts that might never be seen again.

I have had many friends over the years, many people have played with me and enjoyed my knowledge of playing with raingear and other sensory explorative objects to create happiness, relaxation, and even erotic times. I’ve also noticed especially in my latest vacbag session that having an orgasm, isn’t necessary to have a really relaxing and great time. The forcing of an orgasm isn’t necessary, and might be detrimental to the main goal of what my career is as a sensory explorer. Relaxation and happiness are the main goals in what I do. If I am making people happy, I am doing my job right, if I am making people aroused, then that’s just a bonus. If someone has an orgasm then that’s a major win. A man I met had never had an orgasm triggered by another person until he came to me.

My bedroom isn’t just a playspace or a place to sleep. It’s a laboratory of sensory exploration and therapy. Rehab hospitals have sensory rehabilitation units. Me quitting my job, would be like a sensory rehab center shutting its doors forever. In 2016 I went on a two year long hiatus, triggered by the abusive manipulation of a clergy member who was abusing me long term and manipulating me with malicious intents.

I AM AN ESSENTIAL WORKER to adults seeking a sensory escape. I might not be a doctor or someone with a fancy clinic. But I’m still ESSENTIAL. Without me, that man who met me, may have never experienced the true thrill and comfort of having a skilled breathplay & bondage practitioner watching over them as they have their first climax.

I make people obey hospital rules when they enter my house. Because my house is a lot like a rehab hospitals sensory lab. Here, I take notes of what a person likes, what they don’t like, what their medical issues are, and I create an environment for them that will make them relaxed, happy, and if I get things right, aroused, and if I hit the jackpot a climax will result. NEVER WILL I ABANDON YOU my followers, my museum members, my therapy clients (those of you who have visited me and want to visit me)

I CANNOT ABANDON MY CAREER THAT I HAVE LOVED ALL MY LIFE!

All my life I have been a sensory explorer, a sensory pioneer, and a sensory creator as well as a museum curator. I’m like The Smithsonian, of harnesses, straps, and bondage gear. I collect gear and I keep it safely stored away until it is called on for play or to be shown to the world. I have hundreds of belts, some antique that I would have potentially lost if I were to abandon my JOB and sell my things or even just toss them away. 

NEVER WILL I DESTROY OR LOSE MY COLLECTIONS for I am a museum. My gear collection has very rare pieces, some that are one off productions. The harnesses I am scheduled to early - mid next year receive will be one of a kind. Only two of the harness pairs will exist in the world. Mine, Broncos, Mine, Magnus’s... The two harnesses I am set to receive are like the Louvre receiving a pair of extremely rare paintings that only two pairs exist in the world.

IT IS MY DUTY to protect my collection, show my collection to the world, and make people in the world aware of sensory explorations.

Today might have been rotten in some ways, but in other ways, it’s been a revelation. I’VE HAD A TOP NOTCH JOB ALL ALONG!

I’M THE HEAD OPERATOR OF A MUSEUM AND SENSORY LAB!

I’ve talked to my friends for years about eventually saving enough money or making enough to open a storefront called the museum of straps and harnesses. And that has to REMAIN MY ULTIMATE GOAL. To have such a museum would be like the Leather Archives and Museum having a sister museum, that specializes in other things.

THIS IS MY LIFE. THIS IS WHO I AM. I AM WHO I AM!

[careeralley]

Enhance Your Education to Enhance Your Career

Obtaining an MBA is becoming increasingly popular these days. And it makes sense - an MBA can fast-track many people to a coveted position more quickly than without. Many companies won’t even consider a potential employee if he or she hasn’t attained an advanced degree. The pressure to get an advanced college education is as high as ever and many people realize that enhancing their education is a key to career advancement. The rising cost of education, as well as a competitive job market, have raised some concerns among would-be students but you can mitigate these risks by entering a field with excellent job growth, good compensation, and a high current need. The YOU Plan - 2nd Edition (Revised): A 5-Step Guide to Taking Charge of Your Career in the New ... $14.99 $2.56 Learn More We earn a commission if you click this link and make a purchase at no additional cost to you. 01/22/2024 11:54 pm GMT There are several tips and strategies that will help you maximize your education. Here are some effective ways to enhance your business education and get your career moving forward: 1. Enroll In An MBA Program Enrolling in an MBA program is a great way to advance your business education. MBA programs offer a wide range of courses and majors that will provide the tools to excel in your field. Concentrations include Marketing Management, Corporate Finance, International Business, Strategic Management, accounting, Computer and Information Systems, and Organizational Behavior. Educational facilities like Robert Morris University offer these types of skill-building, knowledge-enhancing Pittsburgh MBA programs. If you're feeling uncertain about where to start, platforms like Fortuna Admissions can be a helpful guide in your decision-making process. Obtaining an MBA is becoming increasingly popular these days. And it makes sense - an MBA can fast-track many people to a coveted position more quickly than without.Click To Tweet 2. Select A Minor In many cases, selecting a minor is a great way to enhance your education once you've selected a major. A minor offers an opportunity to learn more about a specific field within or outside of your major. At the same time, the minor doesn't require as much of a time commitment as the major. Some minors that make a great combination with a business major include Communications, Sociology, Psychology, English, accounting, and Finance. 3. Study Online More people are choosing to do their education online these days. It’s a bit more flexible and it will cut down on some of the costs. You also don’t have to move to another location. Distance-search for the type of program you're interested in, you can visit a university's website and read online reviews about them to determine whether the learning institution is reputable. 4. Taking Education—and its costs—seriously The best way to view your education is as an investment. The more it costs, the more you'll have to earn throughout your career to make the degree worth the cost. And time investment also matters—an MBA is much different from a standard Master's program. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, anticipated job growth during the 10 years from 2010 to 2020 is greater for those with advanced degrees. 5. Excelling at the school/work/life balance Managing work and life is difficult as it is. Tossing school onto the pile can be downright suffocating. Some degrees though, can offer great post-degree job prospects and earning potential and present minimal challenges while you're going through them. There are financial and time management factors to consider, however, and students have to make sure they're on top of their game throughout their studies. Always remember that the primary goal of your education is to build toward a promising career with good (or great) earning potential. Some majors can get you out working—and earning a better wage—much faster than other paths, so majors definitely matter. Take some time to weigh the career prospects of your various degree options and choose the path that best suits you. The Portable MBA in Entrepreneurship Case Studies $61.00 $28.50 Learn More We earn a commission if you click this link and make a purchase at no additional cost to you. 01/23/2024 10:06 am GMT Read the full article

[jaydemayo]

(Central Virginia Sport Performance The Podcast)

Season 4 Episode 15- Keir Wenham-Flatt- “What is the stuff that makes you a really good coach that builds your career”

Today I’m really excited to welcome “Mr. Rugby Strength Coach” Keir Wenham-Flatt back to The Podcast, and discuss a different topic with Keir, and that is ways coaches can do better for themselves with secondary forms of income. This is something that, if you’ve ever heard me get on my soap box about, I’m very passionate about, and really feel that we all, me included, need to take a much deeper look at. Throughout the 30-minute discussion “The Rugby Guy” and I get into:

1)    The factors that drove him through the steps leading him to each step of his “side hustle” journey.

2)    Why there are things that can help coaches improve may not help drive careers forward

3)    How having a secondary income stream can help improve your freedom to make better decisions in and out of work.

4)    Persuasion vs coercion, how they work hand in hand if you don’t have a backup plan.

5)    Escape velocity numbers, what that means, and how it fits with coaches and side hustles.

6)    Skills learned from being in business that transferred into coaching.

7)    What is Money Moves and why should coaches care?

This topic is one that I really think needs to be talked about exponentially more than it is, and one that I’ve tried to push for more coaches to share how they’re finding alternative ways to make some cash to better themselves. To me, it doesn’t matter if it’s finding a second job, starting an online business, or getting into real estate, as long as you are finding a way to better yourself in the long run I think that is absolutely huge. If you have interest in checking out K’s sight for more info on Money Moves or to sign up hop over to www.callmekeir.com/squeeze. I think that this could be a great avenue for many coaches out there to help find ways to scale what they do and make a little extra cash on the side. Keir is one of the few people I talk to when it comes to ways I can be better online, so I was really excited to get him back on The Podcast to talk about this topic. I hope you enjoyed the banter as much as I did, and if you did, please share the show with a colleague that you think could find some value in it. Also, if you haven’t subscribed and left a review on your favorite podcast player and could do so I would truly appreciate the support!

Who is Keir Wenham-Flatt?

Keir Wenham-Flatt is a recovering strength coach. After a decade of coaching at the elite level in five different countries, he grossed over $1m in 3 years of operating Strength Coach Network before selling the company in September 2023. These days he helps Strength Coaches to make more money through his long form course Money Moves and his personal site www.callmekeir.com

[kennyfischerconsulting]

BRILLIANT SCRAP MEN – WHITEY SALL #1

Chaim Whitney (Whitey) Sall was another fantastic stroke of luck for me in my life and career. Circa 1968, Benny Fixman bought Whitey’s company – Western Non-Ferrous Metals.

It was a metals trading company located in West Los Angeles. I think Ben bought Whitey’s company for Whitey’s knowledge and reputation plus his export experience and business. Whitey’s father owned Girard Smelting and Refining, the second largest copper refinery in the US before the Great Depression. Whitey and his brothers all worked at Girard and received a metals education second to none in that part of the business.

 I need to digress for one minute to say that in 50 years of business, I have never seen a business more complex than the metals business; from mining to melting/smelting/refining, to manufacturing and then back to recycling. I left the business as President of the biggest gorilla around and I am sure I didn’t know 15% of the complexities of the industry, versus 10 years in the Auction industry was really 2 years 5 times over.

Whitey and his brothers all went on to become experts and very successful in various segments of the metals industry. Ben also bought the Ted Sall Metals Company and the George Sall Metals Company. Teddy was the smartest since he was the only one to sell for cash instead of stock. According to Whitey, the Sall brothers were always very competitive amongst each other trying to prove who knew the most about the business to their dad. Girard went BK during the Depression, but the boys were well educated. 

Whitey went to the Wharton School in Philly, the Sall’s hometown. During his career working for his dad, Whitey would board a train and take cross country buying trips. Since there was no telex, text, or email, stopping in major cities, visiting the big scrap dealers in the town, buying, and calling in the purchases daily to Girard, usually having dinner at one of the dealer’s houses before getting back on the train to continue to the next city was the way it was done.

 Ironically, the hosts usually had daughters of marriage age, and their dad could think of nothing better than this tall, handsome, rich young scrap  man at the dinner table for his daughter.

This scenario finally caught up with Whitey one day in Los Angeles. Misha Berg, owner of Berg Metals (the largest non-ferrous scrap dealer west of the Mississippi at the time), had a daughter Louise, who captured Whitey’s heart and hand in marriage. A great deal of future successful LA scrappies got their start at Berg Metals.

 I met Whitey in late 1969 when I was sent to LA to work and learn from him. He told Ben he was 60 and was slowing down and needed a young man to eventually take over the business. DMC also had a processing plant in Cucamonga, CA at the time, which was 50 miles East of LA.

So, in November of 1969 Diversified moved my wife Margie, my 1-year-old daughter Julie, and me to Los Angeles to work for Whitey.

[aryacollegeofengineering]

Best Practices of Software Development in Top Engineering Colleges

Practices Of Software Development

Today, the software development industry will help improve the standard of code, code quality, and practices which helps to develop a better system in a long-term view. In a professional setting, when teams are building software for some specific client or developing an in-house project for the company itself, it is important for the students of Top Engineering College in Jaipur to write clean, modular code. This will benefit them in numerous ways along with any easier modification for the future, thus future-proofing the system.

1. Production Code

The production code is basically the software that runs on the production servers. These codes are responsible for everything that happens on the internet for the system which handles data and every interaction with the live users online.

2. Production-Quality Code

This is different from the Production Code. Unlike Production Code which actually goes in the production that is live, Production-Quality Code is the standard of code that needs to meet the expectation for production on the aspects of efficiency, reliability, modularity, and more.

3. Clean Code

Clean code is important in industry practice so that codes can be easily maintained even with a changing batch of engineers of private engineering colleges in Jaipur. Otherwise, it would be really difficult for new engineers to read and understand the code that was written years ago. An average engineer's tenure in a software company is 1.5 to 3 years before moving to a new company. Hence, with clean code, engineers can collaborate more easily within the team and also make it easier to maintain the code for the future.

Tips for Clean Code

There are different tips to clean your code, some of them are as follows:

1. Implicit Implication

While describing functions or variables, verbs and nouns respectively would make it more clear for collaborating team members while reading. Using prefixes such as is_ would intuitively imply conditions for Boolean values.

2. Make use of universal names

When working on a particular project, different engineers of Top BTech Colleges India from full-stack engineering, machine learning, data scientist, and more come into play. If a data scientist uses a particular abbreviation only common to the data scientist field or machine learning engineer uses similar abbreviations and letters that are commonly understood to the group, it would be esoteric and diminish the understanding of other team members.

3. Balance Naming Convention

A lot of newbie engineers of engineering colleges take the descriptive process way too far and name long functions and highly specific uses. It is essential to realize, the naming should only be descriptive giving relative information rather than high-level specification such as too much nitty-gritty.

It might be uncommon knowledge that it often takes a level of effort to get into the habit of writing meaningful names for variables and functions. One way to realize and improve personal skills at this is to take feedback from your own team members. It is rather better to ask for reviews early on in your career than having to deal with unsolicited comments farther down the career path.

4. Proper Indentation

The view of a code that has been properly indented to those who are not following the PEP 8 style guideline is the difference between night and day. Every developer of computer science engineering colleges in Jaipur should organize their code with appropriate and consistent indentation with four space indentation which is standard practice. One of the ways to make this easier for future usage is by defaulting this in the text editor. Leaving out blank spaces and separating sections will help the reader breathe some air and will always look and feel nicer. Proper practice is to limit a line of code to 79 characters.

5. Modular Code

Modular Code refers to the practice of breaking down code into modules and functions such that their logic remains intact. This makes code as it increases more re-useable, organized, and manageable.

6. Module

Module in a code are segments of code that are divided into different individual files which can be encapsulated to use in other files through the process of importing. This process helps students of engineering colleges Rajasthan to break down a large codebase into the different smaller segments and easier to call for usage whenever needed.

7. Refactoring Code

Refactoring is the process of restructuring code in order to improve the internal structure of the code. During this process, the functionality of the code is unchanged. It is one of the crucial practices to push to production code as refactoring makes it easier to segment programs into modules and clean the code.

It is a known fact for experienced developers, the first written code is not always the best. Refactoring helps to bridge that flaw by turning it into the best code possible to produce high-quality code. It may look contradictory for the time consumption it takes initially for the projects, but in long term Refactoring is extremely rewarding.

8. Efficient Code

It is vital that engineers of best  BTech college in Jaipur write efficient code. The primary objective is to make programs execute faster with the minimum storage, taking the least memory for execution. This skill is crucial for the fact that, depending upon projects, there will be different criteria that cannot be compromised. When there is resource limitation or the projects rely heavily on minimum time such as real-time dependent projects, engineers need to deliver providing the most efficient code possible. There would be differences in performance in the order of magnitudes while performing with large size of data, and the ability to write efficient code comes in handy in these situations.

Source: Click Here

[cidthecoatrack-blog]

This is a place where I can post anything with basically zero (0) concern of the "wrong" someone seeing it, so here we go:

I was let go from my company beginning of June, so I have been on the job hunt. I work in tech, and it's common for recruiters to match candidates to employers (they get a commission based on the candidate's salary if the employer hires them). I have worked with many recruiters, some better than others. Almost every job I have had in my career has been through a recruiter. Nothing against recruiters, in fact I like working with them because they handle negotiations for me (I am wildly non-confrontational). So all in all, no complaints.

TODAY, however, there are Complaints (TM).

Recruiter emails me asking to schedule a time for a call, say they have opportunities that would be a good match for me. This is not abnormal. However, this woman is AGGRESSIVE. I am talking 5 emails in as many minutes. And this is after 4:30 PM. Flag #1.

I sent her my resume and basic compensation expectations. She immediately responds asking for the best number to reach me.

Folks, the number is literally at the top of the resume I just sent her. Flag #2.

She asks when would work best. I say before 1 the next day, because I have other obligations later that day. She schedules a 30 min call at 12:30. Cutting it close, but that's fine.

My dear friends, at 12:26, she abruptly rescheduled it for 4:30 PM that same day. Which, notably, is not in a time frame I said I would be available. Also, this was not asked. No "hey can we reschedule". She just changed the calendar invite without checking. Flag #3

As it turned out, I could make it work. She calls at 4:30. Folks, we have barely gotten through introductions when she IMMEDIATELY launches into a rant about my strong preference for remote work. Like, at least 5 minute rant, if not closer to 10. Saying absolutely no one will hire remote. All employers want in office. Oh, how she WISHED it would be remote, makes her job so much easier, and she "totally understood" why I am not willing to spend my time and money to be less productive, but kept repeating how it was a non-starter for every employer.

Let me tell you something, my dear readers. I have applied to well over a hundred jobs over the past few weeks, the vast majority of which were remote-only. I am deep in the interview process with several companies, all of whom are very aware that I want remote. And who are more than happy to grant it. Even prefer it. For context, one of these companies is Electronic Arts (the video game company). The other is Hewlett Packard. These are not small players. So I know this is complete bullshit she is spewing. Flag #4

I had mentioned when I sent the resume that I was interviewing with several companies, so new opportunities would have to move quickly. I had not mentioned the names of said companies. However, she briefly interrupts her tirade about my unreasonable demands to ask what the companies were. I mention them, notably HP. She then says, "Well, a lot of companies say remote, but then the offer is hybrid, or it's remote and then they switch to in office after a few months. Here, let me google the HP work from home policy. Hmm, this seems to say you have to be in office 3 days a week, and they have a tracker so they know your location, definitely not remote." Lord knows what she was reading. But this was where it dawned on me that she was Negging me. Flag #WTF

Also, for what it was worth, even IF a company wanted to pull the nonsense she described, one of the other companies I am DEEP in the interview process with is based on the west coast, hires all over the country, and wants ONLY remote. So she can stuff it with "no one hires remote" bullshit.

I explain that when I did go into the city (I live outside NYC) for my previous job, it was 2 hours. Each way. She brushes it off. "Oh, I don't live far from where you are, it's more manageable than that." Like, does she think I don't know how fucking TIME works? That somehow when I left the house at 9, I DIDN'T get to the office at 11:15? Still, she starts to look at other places, ones that are a 30 minute drive each way from my house. "These would be 3 days a week in office. And you definitely can't ask for more money. And they won't negotiate on anything." Pardon, but, My Dear Bitch, IT'S YOUR WHOLE DAMN JOB TO NEGOTIATE. Thanks for advertising you are terrible at this. "But you know, these FinTech companies always have lots of good perks and stuff." Huh, notably, you don't mention what any of those perks might be. Is it because you don't understand them, or that you are just making shit up to compensate for your inability to do your job, to negotiate a better salary for me?

Hah, that reminds me: she claimed to "specialize" in FinTech companies. FinTech = Finance Tech. These are your hedge funds, your tech start ups. These things are RIFE with cash, and if you have the skills they want, they will throw a Scrooge McDuck comical amount of money at you. And yet, she was adamant that because of my stated minimum salary requirements, that I would be at the upper end of their salary ranges, and I definitely couldn't get more money. I am a software developer with over 10 years of experience. I have done literally everything under the sun and will pick up new things at the drop of a hat. My minimum salary requirements are me taking a full DECADE to realize how much I am actually worth, and asserting myself that I will not be taken advantage of anymore. And you have the GALL to tell me that a hedge fund owned by whoever it is that owns the Mets (she made a point about that, but she did know his name, I have since forgotten and will not be bothered to google it) can't afford to pay more? And while being "young" and "hip", still subscribe to the ancient practice of Butts In Seats, and not Just Get the Shit Done From Wherever? Flag #What absurd Shakespearean tragedy is this

Oh, did I mention she was cursing left and right? Dropped multiple F bombs casually. Personally, I couldn't give a fuck about language, but it was a certain flavor of Icing on an Unprofessionalism Cake. Kept trying to excuse it as "oh I am old school, I am a dinosaur, I won't sugar coat things. These YOUNGER recruiters will blow smoke up your ass and tell you anything you want, but I deal with reality. I put a lot of people off, they leave to work with someone else, and 3 months later they call me and say I was right all along." Tell me you're a Boomer without telling me you're a Boomer.

Oh, and let us not omit the strange ageism either. "Yeah, so this company sounds up you're alley. Their Finance, young and hip, sounds like you." What, other than Not Sounding Like a Dinosaur, told you I am "young" and "hip"? I am a 33 year old father. I am neither young nor hip. And honestly, in the tech world, I am myself the dinosaur for the most part. But perhaps compared to you, I do possess such youth and vigor.

Strangest and most unpleasant phone call I have ever had.