#but also today has been a long week
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oh iNaturalist page of birds commonly seen in my county, you’re the only thing getting me through the day
#just looking at a picture of a snowy plover like a ww1 soldier reading a letter from back home#I’m joking mostly#but also today has been a long week
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pro tip: you can always put the bugs in little outfits :thumbsup:
#rain world#five pebbles#lttm#looks to the moon#no im not procratsinating what im actully drawing to put the bugs in fun outfits what are you talking about#anyhow uh yeah man been a lil since i uploaded anything huh. that will not be changing. stay tuned for as scarce art as always. we stay thr#anyhow! you know i have done similar scehctehs alot and i always do the undershirt longshirt for them cause i feel like moon would like it#nd pebbles got it from her even if hed hate to adit it. sometimes your older sister figure has good taste (subjective) and you will never r#each her high#anyhow also i like desiging tshirt prints even if its always a pain when i need to do it#ough#anyhow i have suns also if anyone wanna see that i suppose?#otherwise hmmmm well if anyones reading this who has an opinion i wokring on a comic and concidering if i should wait with posting and do t#e whole thing once i anage to struggle through adding the text#or if i will be weak and post my fave parts beforehand for funnsies hmmmm many choises someone tell me what to do i hate making choises#uh for anyone not intrestied in my long tag rabling music rec for today is cop car by mitski!!!! and not at all because ive been watching a#disco elysium aniatic with that song on loop on youtube for days#thats not soemthing id do#anyhow anyhow!!!!#my art#see i can remmeber that tag sometimes :)#oh also an its nice to go back to drawing these guys after weeks of my own rw ocs. strange experince man#^-^
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Hey everyone! this is where the zebra is currently with the design.
It has knee braces!! I will most probably be drawing the zebra usually with them on, but it’s no requirement, for example if anyone else wants to draw the zebra :-]. I always like to make sure an animal design has official colors underneath any clothing and accessory anyway. I think this will be final! thank you everyone for your feedback!
As a reminder, aside from why the zebra was requested for this flag, this is also just a zebra with the disability pride flag on it. It’s just a deisgn to fit the flag, with input from other disabled people in our community. It doesn’t mean other animals can’t have designs with these colors, too! I don’t mean this design to be the only mascot for all disabled people. It’s just a silly series i do of pride animals, and at the time, during disability pride month, I wanted to see what everyone wanted me to start off with for this flag!
the goal with my pride animals is to take requests and make people feel happy and seen.. that’s all <:-)
#disability pride#pride animals#disability#disability pride flag#zebras#I’ve been a little stressed about this animal for the past week.. I will be honest with you#The zebra has many stripes and I wanted to try my best to make sure it wouldn’t cause issues like headaches or other things#also.. if]ve been working on this for a while now.. i want to call it done soon!#But now that this is finished#I will start designing stickers and pins to put on redbubble and also for me to print IRL!#thank you everyone! I’ve also learned more than whatbI already knew this week#Even if it was stressful it was fun to see everyone get so excited when I would show updates to the designs#Sorry for a long speech.. I am a very nervous person today#Excuse my typos! I’m a fast typer and tired from the day#ebonytailsart#Thank you yomcloud for giving me your feedback as well. I don’t have a lot of perspective on visual processing disorders and photensitivity#so it meant a lot to me#just like the other pride animals I am very open to making more animal designs for this flag! But I’d like to save it for the future instea#It’s a bit too soon at the moment. thank youuu
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a lesson on good karma
digimon survive week 2024
day 4: supporting characters
#digimon#gomamon#digimon survive#survive week#survive week 2024#rambling ahead. you don't have to read the tags beyond bc there's nothing that important tbh... you can just look at the art...#exhausted from being out and doing housework yesterday. then got a last-minute job with very urgent deadline today#finished everything but yeah basically i did anything but art so#irl do be like that aint it#anyway it's been a long time since i played survive and my memory isn't that good#but i always remember the part where we had to protect the gomamon#and later they showed us a path via the dam allowing the team to continue exploring#it reminded me of just how important it is to be nice and do good things whenever and wherever possible#and be mindful with the not-so-good things you do and say#be it good or bad. karma is real even if you don't know when it will get back at you#and you know in visual novel settings. whatever choice you make really determines what happens later on#yeah believe it or not i end up thinking stuff like that by helping a bunch of adorable seal mons...#mmm i'm officially behind now so i might as well take my time while also rest a bit haha ;;#this week has been fun with survive week tho fr. even though i came in unprepared (when will i change)#gotta keep surviving#png
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in my defense, it was a really good comic idea
#i barely have enough time to finish the turtle duck comic in time for zukka week#why is it the second day???#this is the first time i don't have other obligations during zukka week and the comic is so long#but#today i thought of another reallly fun pining “i care about you but not like that unless....you like me like that” and im super excited#too much stuff so little time#and so...i drew my clownsona instead of working on either#...#ive also been reading a bunch of manga instead of drawing#if anyone has read this far and has recs with pretty art....
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Carpe Diem, Joker Out | Slovenia, Eurovision Song Contest 2023
#eurovision#eurovision 2023#esc#joker out#slovenia#slovenia '23#carpe diem#another one that underperformed I guess#but I'm sure they'll be fine#how have you guys been? today I had an interview for a job I'm pretty sure I don't actually want#it's too far away and it's in 3 shifts#I could do either but both?? we didn't talk actual €€ but I don't think it'll be worth it#driving more than 45 mins to start at midnight?? I don't think so#I got there and the hr person is actually a woman my age I went to high school with (and same university too)#and one of the other women also looked familiar and that's because she went to the same high school too only she's a year older#ofc the job I actually want has been silent since last week when they did confirm they got my resume#idk it doesn't take that long to look at it and conclude I don't fit the profile (and I don't)#and just tell me 'no thank you'
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Papi, are you alive? Thunderbolts trailer leaked and we got Hailee back from the dead (and there's the movie with Andrew and Florence and its KYAU coded as fuck) Kate and Yelena content galor this week. PLEASE COME BACK. We've been deprived for a year. It's been jail for too long. Grace us with Kate x Yelena content again. Pretty please.
*taps mic* Is this thing on?
#i don't even know what compelled me to open this again tonight but this is a funny message to get today#man it really has been two weeks short of a year#hi#life has been.........interesting lol#and yes#I have seen all of the kate x yelena content and if you don't think I have fifteen million new AUs in my head in a year you don't know me#also like 59 new clexa AUs#my brain is my brain#just because I wasn't here doesn't mean writing wasn't gettimg done#man WHAT A YEAR lol#but I'm glad y'all even care what I have to say about anything lol#I got an email a few weeks about that this blog turned 18#like a 'happy birthday to your blog' or some shit tumbrl email#and nothing has ever made me feel older#this blog is old enough to vote lmao#and I had a tumble before I just deleted and started fresh#I've been on this hellsite too long#anyway...Papi has been through Some Shit#some GOOD some almost legit killed me#the last four months have been...SOMETHING#but I'm here I'm gay and I've never stopped coming up with AUs#for clexa or bishova#I was just...doing life#rants#anonymous#answers
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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btw i am still alive now that i have recovered from swiftkirchen and i hope you are all doing super well this summer! i am FLYING through my reading list atm which is amazing and i am feeling more and more inspired for things (footballer!paz anyone? roommate!paz as well maybe?) so hmu in the inbox it is TIME TO THIRST
#this month has been so crazy#being an adult is constantly switching from bone deep exhaustion to fully packed calendars for social things#and i love the social things don't get me wrong but like#i need time to rot#i need time to stare out the window and daydream#and i have had the bEST scenarios come up in my head just before i fall asleep#(aka the main way i get any of my writing outlined lol)#but i have barely even opened my laptop in the past two weeks#never mind written anything down#anyway what i am trying to say is that i think this 'forced' break kind of got my muse going again#i am thinking of all the things and i even wanted to write a little bit for biker!Paz again which#let me tell you#has not happened in a LONG LONG time#also also#sarah made me the PRETTIEST BESTEST AWESOMEST friendship bracelets for calm and the one#and obv i am now thinking again of that other bodyguard!paz idea i had going in my brain that one time#cause i kind of forgot about The One???#but also did i ever tell you guys about the modern calmer au i was thinking of?#bc i had a weird/uncomfy rideshare experience recently#and nothing happened and i was never unsafe at any point#but boy oh boy do i think this would fit in that au#anyway#i know there are some asks in my inbox that i never got to so maybe i'll get to it today!#may rambles
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hiiii besties i'm back <3
#god it's been almost a month of me not posting?? (except for my personal updates) oops#i just wanted to say i just passed my last exam#i passed all of them with flying colours hehe#but i haven't slept for more than 6 hours at night for more than a month and i feel like i'm getting sick#work has been tough too and i failed one job interview... i have less than 3 weeks to find another job but i'm not giving up!!#also i already told everyone at work that i'm leaving and i cried A LOT this week...#but don't worry it was because they were so sweet and supportive :')#so today i'm going to watch a movie and relax#and tomorrow i will finally go for a walk!!! a long walk!!!#and i'm going to waste my time on tumblr (i say that with love) and reblog all the posts i've missed for the past month#and reply to your messages and asks <3#i missed you!!!!#k.txt#oh wait nvm i forgot it's sanremo finale today asdfghjh i'm going to have fun reading my italian mutuals' posts
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I am so so so tired of this body
#i am like. crushingly exhausted today#i couldn’t even function this morning and ended up taking a nap for half the afternoon#and it didn’t even help at all#i have an ultrasound this week to see if pcos is the problem#but I’m still like idk!! i feel like my body has been fucked up for so long that I’m like#preparing to find out that it’s just permanently like this#and that nothing will help it or something#also preparing to find out it’s just stress or something from having financial issues for a year and a half#i hate this so much#this is eli#delete later
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*wheeze* slowly, but surely, working on art of them all
#bg3#myart#wip#I want to make every tav/companion pairing I have a dedicated. fancy piece.#these started with a concept for a wyll drawing that was very...storybook! inspired.#I would have been done all the linework for these two pieces by now had my weekend gone better :/#I was violently unwell for...about a week and a half? chronic illness bullshit. had started to feel better friday of last week...#...unfortunately fate had it that the weekend ended up being particularly stressful. so the pain returned anew.#it was. somewhat better today. but still not enough for me to really be productive in my free time :(#I will try to complete the linework tomorrow if all goes well. I really would like to start colouring them!#I have delightful colour schemes chosen...#gale/illamin piece has already been sketched in a notebook. once I finish these two- I will begin lining theirs!#illamin's connects to cadence's because they're intertwined like that. but I have yet to finish planning out cadence's piece.#I've gone back and forth on who I should romance with him...the thing with any of the companions is that they are all written to be-#-immensely compatible with each other. so writing a tav FOR a specific companion is a bit hard. often the tav could fit with any of them.#hell. I'm STILL working out details of jantar and corydalis' story & characters. because I can't be normal about this.#that aside- I DO have other. finished pieces...finally.#well. I had some long before... but I didn't want to post them because I wasn't happy with them.#so I went and finished new stuff that I DO like.#4. technically 5 drawings. all horror/horror adjacent in theme.#my extremely detailed hux painting is also NEARLY done. after months upon months of work.#and I continue to slowly chip away at the big scifi themed dbd piece I've had in progress.#I really never run out of things to draw and it's a bit torturous because I never have the time or energy to draw everything...
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Just submitted a new patient request to Anchor Health. Cross your fingers for me, so I can get set up w/a doc I can stick with who can handle my T and PCP stuff and maybe even mental health stuff? (their website let me mark all three as things I wanted them to provide care for at least)
and the poor local PP can get back to trying to help others without me taking up any more of their scarce resources and staff
#text post#tbh they might say no#i do fall under the qualifying thing of I came from a state that's not safe for trans folks anymore#but I did note on my form that I've been here abt a year since they needed an address and I didn't want the CT address to be confusing#my concern is bc i've been in the state a year already that will disqualify me#told them too that I've been working with pp but need to find full time care for these things and would like to switch to them#they take medicaid plus offer rides to the clinics and i think telehealth too?#so for whatever can't be done via telehealth I could get a ride to the nearest clinic and back again#which frees me from having to try and budget for lyfts or for poor Housemate to have to work aer schedule around me needing rides#which reminds me i neeeeed to get my bloodwork done#idk if i can manage it today bc the doc messaging thing already has my brain even Louder than before (but it deeply needed doing)#but this week if the uni finally shoots me my latest paycheck I think i'll just take a lyft and either go to a blood draw clinic or call pp#and ask to have them do it and apologise for it taking so long to get it done#bc I can tell they're judging me for it and like. they're not wrong to#i really do want to get it done it's just been hard to coordinate around other stuff and yeah. blood draws usually suck for me so also#it's hard to make myself go do it even when something important to me depends upon it#im rambling too much again time to dip back to survey sites and maybe researching dentists for the fall for me and Housemate
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lil headshots of the boys bc i miss them
#i just spilled water all over my desk. absolute dumbass move.#n e way.#hi. good morning. i have not been on my pc in like 2 weeks#a lot has been happening over here.#i got accepted into university recently so i'll be going back to school in the fall to finish my bachelors :-)#i'm really excited about it ngl.#i'm also attempting my first garden this summer#i have absolutely zero clue how to grow vegetables. i think i already killed one ngl but. uh. it's fine.#um. i also bought a spider plant which is neat. it's my first like. non cacti/succulent#oh. well. besides my zz but that's practically a succulent to be fair#i've also been playing a lot of animal crossing. just finished the fish portion of the critterpedia this morning.#i've been playing ac since i was 6 & that's the first time i've ever done that#ALSO i went thrifting & i finally found the craft!!!!! i have been looking for that for SO long. also pom poko & howl's moving castle#i'm out of DVD space. it's. getting out of control.#that's p much it i think.#i'm maybe gonna draw today after i finish doing some school stuff.#maybe something for pride since it's june. happy pride month btw#ok. that's it for real.#rainyrambles
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I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent
#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little#bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the#very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the#house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks#Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a#gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a#treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of#color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration#like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a#auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies#so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk#and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver#but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and#sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an#active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have#been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start#to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've#done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!'#(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks#with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm#secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool#stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers#me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or#it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for#too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been#investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely#enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed#google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj#LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!
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Roudise Week Day 4: School/Rudyville
I hope I was right in my assumption that Rudyville was the locker briefly mentioned in Stop! Or My Mom Will Sleuth, but even if I was wrong, the dialogue hopefully still makes sense??
I went for a behind shot with a Wintry Aesthetic, which I hope came across well!! The pose here looks similar to my piece for the Holidays prompt, but I tried to make it look unique.
#roudiseweek2023#i love drawing winter clothes on characters#especially lil’ winter hats#drawing the school took me way too long even though i didn’t even make it that complicated#i suppose having an actual (sort of) background is why i wanted to give myself a bit of a break and drew the characters from behind#i also can’t wait to see what everyone else has done for today!! this week has been AMAZING and it’s reminded me how talented everyone is
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