#but as an adult thinking about that actually happening irl

[sunsoaked-living-blog]

Just rewatched the Fright Knight episode in DP s1…. Dash is nasty 😭😭😭😭wtaf is he doing parading around that old crusty musty dusty and dirty tidy whitey😭😭 why would he keep that on him to whip out on demand like that 🤢

It was animation and I was actually SICK watching that. Danny is honestly lucky that nasty piece of cloth didn’t do him the rest of the way in 💀💀💀💀

[lynxgirlpaws]

y'all actually have irl friends? like, actually?

[235uranium]

every time i see the "kids and teens should actually get to interact with decent adults" post i just feel unimaginably depressed because people are talking about how these adults helped them at their worst points. meanwhile the ones i knew convinced me my ocd was my actual thoughts and continually exposed me to horrific things and gaslit me constantly

[blujayonthewing]

man, still thinking about that post about unrepentantly being A Weirdo vs being stereotyped as A Weirdo, and thinking about how people tend, by and large, to like me, but sometimes it feels like being loved the way you love a fellow person and sometimes it feels like being loved the way you love a precocious toddler, or a friendly dog with a funny quirk

[anotherpapercut]

It’s literally amazing that you almost never practice what you preach. Like I only know of you through people but you’re just..a complete hypocrite lmao.

so I turned off anon fucking foreeever ago when I was getting rape threats and now when people want to send me anonymous messages they have to go through the trouble of making a whole ass new blog or, if they've already been blocked, a whole ass account. when it's that, which I think it often is based on the similarity of the messages, I always wonder, did these people use a 2nd email that they have for such occasions? or did they have to make a new email as well? because akdnksnejdb that would be like extra pathetic

either way it's just literally impossible to be bothered by anything y'all say when you're like so obsessed with me (or just the idea of me as a person for you to blame whatever you want on) that you took the time out of your one and only life on earth to do this instead of idk spending time with someone you love? just cause..... idk you're clearly scared of something lol. it's just so funny but also sad? uhhhhh please get help lmfao

[lazyufos]

.

[causalitylinked]

When I have the time, I think I’m gonna move Kensuke over from @/spurnedadulthood to this blog so I don’t have to juggle three blogs at once, because as much as I love having him on a single-muse blog, I think I’ve reached a point where trying to become more active on him would only be setting myself up for further disappointment, especially with how unwelcoming the RPC currently is towards characters from niche fandoms? Plus, even the idea of logging into his blog gives me major anxiety now, so I think it’s best if I just stick with two blogs for the time being.

Of course, there might come a time where I would let Kensuke return back to his own blog, but for the time being, I truly believe the only way I can really return back to writing him again is if I feature him as a muse on my multi. Because he’s my favourite, however, he will be stealing Gin’s position as the first muse on my non-mobile muse list... meaning Kensuke will basically be #1, and if you don’t bother requesting anyone specific for memes or starter calls from now on, he will automatically be the one to pester your muse, especially due to the fact he does have non-Caligula verses that are compatible with modern AUs/settings.

...I just have to make various adjustments first before properly integrating him into my blog, because there’s quite a bit I have to do first, but it’s something that’s been constantly on my mind, to the point where I’m dedicated to make this happen at some point.

[metalandmagi]

Romance Anime Starter List

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m sick and tired of seeing “Top ___ Best Anime of All Time” lists that are nothing but shounen. So, with "My Happy Marriage" getting a little attention from the anime community, I wanted to put together a list of some romance anime that I consider good “starters” for the genre. Because if I were just now becoming an anime fan, I’d think all there was to offer was shounen action series.

And by “starters” I mean basic stuff that’s not too…out there, and actually involves the characters getting together instead of just harems or using romance as a side plot (sorry Ouran High School Host Club and My Next Life as a Villainess). 

So if you’re new to anime and want stuff that’s not just guys beating the shit out of each other (which is also fun, don’t get me wrong), here are some basics.

Taisho Maiden Fairy Tale- When the pessimistic Tamahiko Shima loses all function in his right arm, his family sends him away to live in the mountains with the cheerful, hard working Yuzuki Tachibana…who was purchased by the Shima family to pay off her family’s debts and basically act as a caretaker/future bride for Tamahiko so they’d never have to deal with him again. It’s a more cheerful version of My Happy Marriage (without the supernatural stuff), except in this one, the guy is the one who has massive self-esteem issues and an abusive family. There are still very serious themes, but ultimately it’s not meant to make you cry every episode. I swear it’s so good, but nobody watched it!

Horimiya- A slice of life in which pretty and popular high school queen bee Hori, finds out her quiet, unassuming classmate Miyamura is hiding piercings and tattoos that could get him expelled. The two gradually find out more about each other and get together in the most realistic way I’ve seen depicted in an anime. It’s also fucking hysterical and genuinely emotional.

Recovery of an MMO Junkie- Another slice of life that focuses on two adults who meet in an MMO game without realizing they also know each other in real life. I don’t want to say much more than that. It’s adorable, and the main character is so relatable it hurts.

Love with Yamada-kun at Level 999- Speaking of MMOs, this is a newer series about Akane Kinoshita, a college first year who’s reeling from a bad break up. In an attempt to get back at her ex, she winds up meeting Akito Yamada, a popular gamer who happens to be in her guild in the MMO they both play at an IRL meetup. The two go from acquaintances to something more as they keep running into each other. Even more relatable main characters and just wholesome relationships all around.

Snow White With The Red Hair- A fantasy in which an apothecary named Shirayuki (meaning, you guessed it, “snow white”) runs away from her home in order to escape becoming the concubine of her town’s prince. While fleeing, she is rescued by Zen, the prince of a neighboring country, and she ends up becoming an herbalist to repay him. It's super cute with some genuinely swoon worthy moments and a couple that just works so well together. I have a habit of comparing this to Akatsuki no Yona, even though the two aren’t really that alike. This is more romance driven while Akatsuki no Yona is more of a serious historical fantasy with romance elements (Yona manga is amazing, but the anime barely scratches the surface, so that’s why I didn’t include it).

Sasaki to Miyano- When the shy, easily flustered Miyano meets Sasaki, a cool “delinquent” upperclassmen, the two end up bonding over manga…specifically BL manga. That’s right, Miyano is a fudanshi, but due to his small stature and somewhat feminine appearance, he’s constantly trying to convince others that he’s not interested in having his own love story where he’d be reduced to a stereotypical doe-eyed uke. But as Sasaki and Miyano spend more time together, they realize that what they have is more than friendship, and they have to come to terms with their own perception of gay relationships. This is my favorite romance of all time. It’s a slow burn, but boy is it worth it. Their relationship is so natural and realistic, just like Horimiya. Just two people hanging out and bonding over things the way people do in real life!

Given: The story of some boys in a band with trauma. Enough said. It's great. Go watch it.

Bloom Into You- Yuu Koito is a high school girl who’s been waiting her whole life for her own perfect romance to start…but when she receives a confession, she realizes she doesn’t know how to respond when she’s just not into the guy. And then she gets another confession…this time from the cool student council president Touko Nanami, who basically jumpstarts her lesbian awakening. Very cute story about how we perceive the concept of love vs actually feeling it. Also has a canonically aro/ace side character, so that’s a win for me. Another show like this is Adachi to Shimamura (but I honestly don’t remember much about it. It just didn’t stick with me as much).

Ore Monogatari- Takeo Gouda is a tall, bulky high school first year with a sensitive heart of gold. He wants nothing more than to find his own true love, but most girls are intimidated by his enormous stature, and they end up falling for his conventionally attractive friend instead. That is, until he meets the tiny, adorable Rinko Yamato. He falls in love instantly, but he’s sure she’s interested in his best friend like everyone else, so he vows to help get them together, even though his heart is breaking. Peak himbo behavior. Pure of heart, dumb of ass.

Yuri on Ice- Yes it’s the gay figure skating anime everyone knows. And yes it’s a fucking romance, okay? I will die on this hill. The romance between Viktor and Yuri is just as important as the plot!

Kaguya-sama Love Is War- Two insanely smart high school students both have a crush on the other, but since they’re…you know…high schoolers, neither of them wants to admit it first. So they come up with increasingly convoluted plans to get the other to confess first. This will go down as one of the best of all time. It’s a hilarious yet poignant modern classic.

Fruits Basket- I’ve talked about it before and I’ll talk about it again. A romance “comedy” that slowly morphs into a drama about a girl named Tohru who finds herself living with the mysterious Sohma family after her mother dies. Little does she know, the Sohmas are the victims of a  (somewhat silly, but ultimately tragic) curse that she must fight to break. Even though I’m more into it for the family drama, the romance is still top tier and plays an important role in the story. This is my second favorite anime of all time, and it’s a classic for a reason. If anyone hasn’t watched it yet, GO WATCH IT! IT WILL RIP YOU TO SHREDS!

And now for some honorable mentions that didn't quite fit into the regular list:

Ride Your Wave- A movie about a surfer who falls in love with a firefighter……and I’m not going to say any more than that. Go into it blind. If you like stuff like Your Name, this is a good one to watch.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun- A comedy about a high school girl who finds out the upperclassman she has a crush on is actually a shoujo manga artist, and no matter how she tries to confess to him, he just never gets it.

The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague- A slow burn slice of life that focuses on a guy with ice powers who has a crush on his coworker. That’s it. That’s the show. When I say slow, I mean SLOW. It’s perfectly cute and fluffy, but my god does it take forever to get anywhere with these two.

Skip to Loafer- A high strung, small town girl decides to go to high school in Tokyo, where she meets a variety of classmates, including the laid back Sousuke Shima. The unlikely pair become friends, and soon enough, she starts to feel something more than friendship. The only reason I didn’t include it in the main list is because they don’t get together by the end of the first season, but it’s still really cute (also canonically trans character for the win!?)

So that’s my starter list. And no, I didn’t include Toradora, even though it’s a classic. I know it’s blasphemous, but I like it more as a comedy than a romance. It kinda lost me with the ending. But anyway, maybe someone will find something they like. Or maybe you'll just want to roast me and my picks 😅

[sorcerous-caress]

So fun fact about me irl I work with children but often my teacher language slips out like telling my friends to say “bye bye bus”, telling another person in my lecture writing to “be nice to the pencil, it’s your friend.” And greeting a roomful of grown as adults with good morning boys and girls. It’s mortifying but How do you think the companions would react to having a teacher!tav slip up like that.

Dealing with a Teacher Tav

[Bg3, fluff, platonic kinda, nb!reader]

[Gale, Shadowheart, Laezel, Wyll, Karlach, Astarion, Halsin, Minthara, Jaheira, Minsc]

Gale

He delightfully plays along whenever you tell him to thank a stranger or say goodbye to an inanimate object. He thinks it's very silly and joyous.

Teachers have always been a big part of his life, it doesn't phase him in the slightest when you unawarly awake the deep memories of being in wizards pre-school for him.

Says good morning to you back, adding a teacher honorific at the end for the sake of being playful while asking if you've finally graded the homework he handed in.

He gives you an apple occasionally. He thinks he is very hilarious.

Shadowheart

She freezes in awkwardness whenever it happens, not sure if you’re being serious or just playing around. Sometimes, you don't even register slipping up as go on with your day, leaving her wondering if she's imagining things.

She has zero experience with the school system, completely confused by the need to say thank you for carriage after it arrived. It's just a carriage, why should she?

One time while her and Laezel were arguing, you used the same call you'd use in the classroom to get the kids to quiet down and it completely caught them both off guard. They just stood there baffled, forgetting their original argument.

Laezel

Why, yes, she is very familiar with teachers. In fact, she was the best out of her class, ask any githyanki teacher, and they'd tell you endless praise about her throat cutting techniques and sword welding stances.

You, whoever, use very unusual teaching techniques. How would learning a song about washing your hand and brushing your teeth help her in slaying her enemies?

Intriguing, so you take advantage of the brain's tendency to latch on to phrases that rhyme, which makes them easier to remember? And you encode your melodies with instructions to embed them into the impressionable youth?

Huh. She actually is impressed. She made her decision, you will lend your teaching skills to help her embed the most effect way of fracturing someone's spine into a melody to spread to the githyanki children.

Wyll

As someone who has been an unofficial teacher for so many kids throughout his years, he can relate to your struggle a lot. He slips up more than he cares to admit.

The both of you meeting early in the morning while still groggy and tired, your brains working on automatic mods as you greet each other with the same high pitched enthusiastic voice you use to greet a toddler.

Then just stare at each other, complete understanding between the two of you. Like two people accidentally using their customer service voice in front of the other.

You struggle to tie your boots once, and he unconsciously bends down to tie them for you while using the rabbit loop euphemism, only to stop in his tracks as he realises what he's doing.

He uses a curse word once, and you immediately use your teachers voice and say, "we don't speak like that here, that's wasn't very nice."

You're both tired, you both need a nap and neither of you brings it up when the other slips.

Karlach

Much like Gale, she finds it extremely amusing. Top tier comedy to her. Unlike Gale, she hasn't been to any proper schooling system, so she doesn't exactly know what most of these phrases mean or imply.

In a way, it lets her pretend she was a part of something like a school in her youth, like she could've had a normal childhood like everyone else.

She'd indulge you, saying goodbye and thank you to the pigeon that delivered her a letter, or overhearing Wyll's rabbit loop ryhme and whispering it under her breath as she ties her own boots. Who knew this could've been so easy?

Astarion

You remind him of how Leon was with his daughter back in Cazador's manor. Astarion never was close with any of them, but still, he sometimes overheard him attempting to give his daughter a semblance of a normal childhood and growth.

It's endearing when you accidentally use your teaching ways while dealing with the owlbear cub, but he'll never admit it.

Doesn't indulge you with it, he has appearance to keep. Well, unless he has a chance to twist your innocent meaning words into a sex or gorey joke like the 12y old humour that he has.

Ah, the scrowl on your face is the exact same one Leon had around him, such fond memories.

Halsin

Ah, you bring him back to his old days of having to deal with the children at the grove. Although his methods focused more on showing them that nature is a friend rather than inanimate objects.

But who is he to judge your ways? If anything he could learn a thing or two from you to add to his skillset.

Tells you about the fables that were passed down from elf to elf throughout the generations, animal stories have always done a great part in teaching him morality.

Do you happen to have any? Maybe you could tell it to the children of the grove, they are good kids.

Minthara

As a noble, she was only given the best and most prestigious of teachers while growing up. Even the ones that weren't a drow would still be considered the best of the best, crème de la crème.

Yet not a single one of them applied such...childish methods. etiquette and discipline were taught by the lash and threat of punishment, not lullabies and gentle guidance.

....it's not as bad as she imagined.

She doesn't get why some of your companions find it amusing. She doesn't bother indulging either.

But sometimes, sometimes, when it's just the two of you, and she is sure not a single soul is around, she will reply with a pun with the most deadpan face expression you've seen.

Jaheira

Despite what most would think, she actually integrated the same methods into her teachings back when her kids were little, it just happened to be weaved with her more dangerous lifestyle ascept.

Here comes the plane, with the airplane usual holding a good dosage amount of poison to build resistance.

A short rhyme about what to check before leaving the house, except the list has a suspicious amount of daggers and trap disarm kits in it.

If it works, it works, so what if she had to alter a kid's book about a honey loving yellow bear into one with decipherable texts to teach them Harpers' secret communication language.

Minsc

Ah! Boo does use the same method on him sometimes, the two of you have a lot in common. Although Boo's methods do involve a bit of biting every now and then.

Say, how about he teaches you some fables from Rashemen, a lot of them are about a rabbit who got lost after not listening to his witch frog companion.

You could use it in your teachings later! Show the youth the importance of good teamwork. Yes, he is aware of the fact he didn't listen to Jaheira and got captured by the cult. No, he doesn't see why this is relevant? Why is Boo suddenly agreeing with you? He is supposed to be on his side.

[sharkboywrites]

Hello! May I ask for the BG3 gang with an autistic gn Tav who is. Very Very Large but also quite young (think like... Older teen.) who just decides that Astarion/Wyll/Halsin/Gale etc is their new favourite person and WILL NOT leave them alone.

It would be very funny if they just... didn't realise Tav was actually A Kid™ and thought they were just a weirdly clingy grownup. Except Halsin. Halsin would know Immediately.

Inspired by my dumb ass being enormous and this having happened to me irl many times.

Bg3 Characters With a Young Older Looking Autistic Tav

A/n: This idea is so silly I love it. This is obviously written as platonic because reader is younger and baulder's gate characters are older and I don't write weird stuff like that lol although I'm sure that's expected. Also also i did all of them together because I do not have the energy to write sperate headcannons for each of them, dont worry they all get their moment

Gn Reader, Child/teen Reader

This was an... interesting situation

Everyone on the team assumed you were just assumed you were a bit childish for an adult

I mean could you blame them? You were massive, anyone would assume you were an adult

Except for Halsin

He could easily tell your age, but it's something he kept between the two of you, mainly for safety

Halsin takes more of a dad approach if you cling to him

He's very protective of you and teaches you new skills

He also keeps anyone else on the team from hitting on you, for obvious reasons, but wouldn't say why

He's also the most attentive when it comes to your autism, he's always keeping an eye out for you and helping when he can

It took the others longer to find, though

Wyll was the second to put two and two together

Once he realized, he grilled you about why you didn't tell anyone about it

He isn't too harsh though, and takes a more "fun uncle" role

He always makes sure to entertain you, he's the guy who's got fidgets on him just for you incase you need them

He also decides not to tell anyone for your safety after consulting with Halsin, but he does wish you said something sooner

Gale is the second to last to find out, after trying to teach you something about magic

He had questioned why you didn't know any of this, it was supposed to be common knowledge for someone your age

Or someone he thought was your age

He just stared at you blankly for a good minute after you told him how old you actually were

He's more upset at himself for not noticing to be honest

He realizes how that actually makes a lot of sense

Gale, like Halsin, also takes a more fatherly approach

he teaches you things you may have not known before, and is one of the most helpful when it comes to working through your autism

He's a knowledgeable man and can tell what you need, probably before you do

He's very protective, often insisting that you stay out of battles, but it's not like you listen to him in that department

For comedy's sake, Astarion is the last to find out, and he is pissed

He's mad that no one told him, even if it wasn't too long Gale found out and most of the party knew

He looked so dumbfounded when he found out and like Gale, was more mad that he didn't realize sooner

He's upset, but he gets over it quickly after a day or two of snarky comments and like Wyll, takes on a cool uncle postion

The whole party suddenly wants to protect you and it's suddenly become one of their top goals to return you to your parent/guardian if you have one, next to y'know, getting the worms out of your head

If you don't have somewhere to go they may or may not argue on who takes you once it's all over

Generally, you're taken good care of from then on, much better than you were before

Everyone's very attentive to you and tries to be aware of what you may need at any given point

Since they all have some type of trauma, they want to make sure the same doesn't happen to you, especially so young

Being in this situation is stressful for anyone, let alone a child, and a child with a disability

They do their best to make you happy and keep you safe

They may struggle, but they do their best, and now you have people to call family

[serialunaliver]

i'm just saying‼️ you'd be surprised by what people lie about successfully to win a court case‼️‼️‼️ for example telling the cops your adult daughter has the mental age of a 12 year old, is being held hostage by her mom and stepdad, and has been manipulated into thinking she has to be away from her biological father who actually wants to save her from medical neglect. and the cops actually show up and interrogate her to determine her intelligence level and this all happens on her 18th birthday 😂😂😂 would be crazy if someone did this irl and now she doesn't celebrate her birthday because of it

[olderthannetfic]

I hate when I see "minors DNI" on smut. I'm not going to be tainted by reading it. I'm not going to read it and go out and do it - trust me, the immature jackasses at my school are not worth banging no matter how horny I get - and I'm not even capable of doing a good chunk of what I read anyway because I'm into vampires. And in the event I got vampire powers, I'd have other shit to do besides go get laid.

Possibly unpopular hot take but "minors DNI" isn't about keeping me safe, it's about keeping adults comfortable. And obviously you're allowed not to be comfortable with me commenting on it or talking to you about it. I can see why that'd feel gross to you. But me reading it without saying a word can't possibly make you feel uncomfortable because you have no way to know it happened or didn't happen. It's about being able to tell the other adults you're one of the good and not creepy smut writers who doesn't talk to kids when no one even accused you of that. It's about comforting them and comforting yourself with the idea you're good.

But the thing is, even if I read your work and I go "I'm going to go out and use blood as lube!", I read one story by you. I was raised by my parents for 16 years. Even if we ignore the idea I have the ability to think things through - which is stupid, but for the sake of argument we'll do it - if I'm allegedly easily influenced by the world around me, wouldn't the blame still not be on you anyway? You're not my mom, my mom is my mom.

I was trying to find fic with my favorite sex position (to read about, I've never done it IRL) and had to wade through a bunch of "minors DNI!" "I block minors!" "minors go do your homework!" and it was just. So dumb. So dumb and theatrical and pointless.

And also so, so easy to get around just by lying and writing "18" in my bio.

--

I suspect they're more afraid of legal trouble than of discomfort, but I agree the warnings don't carry any actual legal weight.

Personally, I don't care what you do unless you have shitty parents and you're dumb enough to let them catch you reading my porn or my gay stuff or whatever and they come make it my problem. Most teens are smart enough to hide things from this kind of parent though.

[just-antithings]

I need many people to realize a strong contribution to the purity discourse in media we see among young people is due to radfems & gender criticals poisoning the water supply on sites like this one (tumblr) or other social media since 2014

Seeing teens and young 20-somethings using "porn addicted", "porn-brained", "degenerate", all unironically, those are words you find in alt-right & anti-LGBTQ+ message boards.

It wasn't JUST GCs alone, but many people have been around to see them influence a generation of kids with arguments you see today like

“X in fiction causes abuse"

“x is fetishization"

"Unless you've personally gone through trauma you shouldn't write about it"

“If you HAVE gone through trauma, you can't sexually explore it"

"If you like abuse in fiction you're an abuser in real life”

Hearing kids call random (usually queer!) shippers in fandom "groomers" and "pedophiles" for ships that have been established in fandom for decades, or because of a "power imbalance" between adult characters isn't a coincidence. Hmm, I wonder what other groups use those words?

It's not solely kids alone, it is a combination of:

Online radicalization and disinformation

No spaces for kids

No internet safety/literacy

Steeping censorship in activist language,

lack of education (If you don't know red flags you can't avoid them)

COVID did NOT help

This is why ignoring it will never help, because while thankfully some people grow out of it, it usually happens to people who had some support system or breakthrough in cognitive dissonance. There are plenty of people who are becoming adults and who keep infantilizing themselves

“My brain isn't done until I'm 25, you're all predators" and they're talking to a 30 y/o

That argument is literally being used by UK government officials to block access to gender-affirming healthcare. Infantilizing adults only serves the purpose of stripping agency and rights

They're not being safe. They're not gaining skills. They're participating in a fear-fueled climate of faulty medical misinformation, keeping themselves in a perpetual childish-victim state no matter how old they get and nothing about this is healthy

How do you think a person goes through this world when they've been wholly convinced that you can tell someone is safe because they like "safe" or “wholesome" things, & people who make them uncomfortable via hobbies or interests (not IRL actions) are probably actual criminals?

[paddockbunny]

list A, #38, toto wolff?

The Arrangement

Summary: Toto and Susie have a rock solid relationship built around pure love, honesty and most importantly trust. So, what happens when you start working as Susie's assistant and a shocking revelation comes to light? Are you willing to be much more trusting and open than you ever thought possible? Rating: 18+. Pairing : Toto Wolff x Reader (+ a little bit of Susie) Word Count : 1,724 (part one of 2) Trigger Warnings : 18+, NSFW, adult material, adult language, discussion of open marriages, polyamory (I think), discussion around sex but nothing too heavy 💞Authors Note : This is a work of pure fiction and is intended to be taken as such. I never usually write about IRL WAG's but there is only a small hint about Susie in this and mainly focuses on Toto. *Please tell me if this comes across as super cheesy? Part 2 is better, promise. I couldn't work out how to get the line in.

Prompt : List A #38 : "Is there a reason you're in my bed?"

“Shit!” You sigh trying to change the ink on the printer but only making your fingers more stained from the cartridge you had just removed. You groaned as you tried to get the new one into place and hear a click to signify your trial had come to an end and you could tell your boss Susie to try hitting print again.  “Come on….” You moaned as you desperately tried to get the damn click. You were new. One singular month under your belt as Susie’s assistant. And while she was lovely you didn’t want to disappoint her. You needed this job. Not for any financial reasons but because it got your parents off your back about wasting your business degree. Working for the Wolff’s (the most powerful couple in motorsport) would look good on your CV, that was for sure. You rattled the cartridge back and forth waiting for it to…*click* “YES!” You cry out gleefully as your task was done. Inky fingers were the product of your hard work.  “Try it now!” You yell out of the stunning masculine office which you hadn’t quite taken in till now. 

You were standing in Toto Wolff’s home office. Alone. It felt strange. Illegal almost. The room was undoubtably manly with its dark royal blue walls, sleek chrome finishings and black and white photography adoring the walls. It was unmistakably Toto (the trophies on the built in shelves really gave it away) even if you barely knew him. You were around almost constantly. 8am till 8pm were your official hours but you were here, in their home so often you became like a permanent feature along with their sons nanny and the housekeepers. Which was why it was a little odd you didn’t actually see more of the famous Toto Wolff. Actually, thinking about it you were sort of glad he worked so hard and was away so much. It would have been awkward with him around. Having a silly school girl crush on your employers husband couldn’t be a good thing could it? He wouldn’t ever stray (that much was very true) but it wouldn’t be good for your mind if you thought too much about what your life would look like if he did. 

“Hey, is it working?” Susie appeared in the doorway smiling as usual. You glanced across at the desk with the printer on it and it was indeed working just perfectly. Only thing was, she had caught you staring at some of her husbands things. You had to try cover it up. “Sorry, I was just admiring some of these uh…keepsakes.”  “Pretty cool huh?” She came fully into the room and eyed up some of the items herself before pointing a few out and giving you the backstory.  “And this…this belonged to Niki. Niki Lauda.” She pointed at the red cap in a clear glass box. “Niki was a very close friend. He was a sort of mentor to Toto. He was Jack’s Godfather.” She explained and although you of course knew this (being a motorsport fan) you couldn’t help but find it touching she was so open to talk about something so personal with you. "He would have liked you. He had a thing for beautiful women." You felt your cheeks begin to blush at her words. You felt so at ease in her presence this news you would have been the type of a racing giant was nothing more than super flattering. So you when you found yourself turning away to stifle a yawn you couldn’t believe how bad it must have looked. 

“Oh God, I’m so sorry!” She exclaimed as she looked at her watch after your rather obvious omission of tiredness. “It’s after eleven. You’ve been here since seven thirty this morning. I’m so sorry.” She kept apologising and although you felt like you were going to drop any minute you kept telling her you were fine. “Listen, why don’t you take a rest. Toto can drive you home when he gets back. I can’t believe I lost track of time like that.” 

You were hesitant at first to accept her offer. It was a little strange to catch forty winks in someone else’s home. But she practically ushered you straight toward a bedroom and you felt your body relaxing at the sight of the luxurious looking cotton sheets on the big bed.  “I can’t, I feel so bad…”

“Don’t. Honestly. Toto will drive you home when he gets back.” She smiled and slowly closed the door behind her. The room was illuminated only by the moonlight streaming in through the open window. The room was light coloured, you could tell that much. It had a vibe of an upmarket hotel and smelled absolutely incredible. It reminded you of something. A man’s cologne or something. It was woody, musky, but with an airy lightness you simply loved. You kicked off your plain white trainers and lay down on top of the bed as if it was a welcoming bear hug. You didn’t waste time looking around. Your body shivered out of tiredness so badly you would have dove head first into the big inviting bed if you could have, but instead you lay down on top of it carefully as not to disturb the sheets too much. 

Sound asleep was what you were when you heard the faint clearing of a throat. You barely even stirred as the noise was made again. You were dreaming of being on a tropical island being served a blue cocktail by a cabana boy as he fanned you with one of those old fashioned fans you only ever saw in movies. Your eyes slowly adjusted as you “came too” and immediately wished you hadn’t woken from your slumber at all. Standing there, leaning over you like some big, dark shadow was the figure of Mr Wolff - and not like the one in the fairytale. You were just about to swear when he spoke first. 

“Is there a reason you’re in my bed?” His accent was thick. His voice was low and rough. In different circumstances it would have made your stomach flip. Frantically you wracked your brain for a good reason as to how you came to be in his bed, of all places. You were tired seemed like the surest way to get you fired. But as you’re brain worked overtime suddenly you saw the expression on Toto’s face change as he took in the sight of you still lying on top of the covers. It dawns on you that he’s now smirking at you and you couldn’t put into words how nervous you had become. It was most certainly nerves down to who he was, in motorsport and business, but also because you found him so undeniably hot. There was something about him that you couldn’t help but find sort of irresistible - even though you were literally employed by this man’s wife and that was enough of the lusty talk about him to last a lifetime. Toto just had this presence and aura that commanded a space and right now it was commanding this (his) bedroom. 

Then right in front of your eyes his features start to soften and he began to smirk at you at you. The action makes you nervous.  “Please forgive me…” you rush to get up and be suddenly sits down beside you, so close it was as if he was holding you in place. You went to explain to him his wife had offered me a chance to lay down and rest after I had overworked but he silenced you.  “You don’t need to explain or ask forgiveness.” His voice had lowered and was now so thick with a tone you couldn’t work out. The whole scene must would have looked completely bonkers and bizzare. It would have been even stranger at the fact you didn't even move. Toto took a deep inhale of breath and on the exhale said “fuck it”. 

“You’ve worked for us for….a month now?” He asked and you couldn’t do anything but nervously nod. He was so close to you his body was touching your leg. You tried not to think about it as he continued; “I’m going to tell you something, it’s private and a part of the confidentiality clause we had you sign.” Oh God, what was he going to say? What were you going to have to pretend you had never heard? How would you cope if you were asked about this? He was so confident in his posture you deduced it couldn’t possibly be something bad, illegal or dangerous. 

“My wife and I...” he paused and cast his eyes up and down your face as if he were trying to get a read on you before continuing “We have an open marriage.” OH FUCK! He gave you zero time to process again because he was already following it up with; “Do you know what that means?” Before you could stop yourself from getting whiplash. This was absolutely not what you thought Toto would have come out with when he was stood over you only moments ago. You snapped back to his question and although you sort of did know what that meant you still shook your head as a “no” which he seemed to delight in 

“We get to fuck other people.” That was when you realised Toto’s hand had come to sitting on your thigh. You didn’t say or do anything.  “She’s had a few drivers, none I would worry about, but me? I’ve not really indulge.” Your brain suddenly went completely and utterly blank, trying not to zone in on the word "indulge" as if fucking other women was like a tasty slice of chocolate cake. But your brain swirled as all you could think of was how warm his hand felt on your thigh (even through your smart but tight trousers). You were sure you weren’t reading this right and he actually meant he wanted you to help find him someone one appropriate for him to do, well, whatever he wanted with. 

As you felt the temperature rise a few notches at the X-Rated confession (and revelation) that your employers were in an open relationship was continuing to blow your mind you began to wonder why he was suddenly telling you this all now. Why did you even need to know this in the first place? Besides you figured they were rock solid, as solid as they came in fact. Surely they weren’t “seeing other people”? But then you weren’t stupid, you knew about open relationships, usually that was totally based on love and trust not at all like they were in the break-up sphere. 

“Mr Wolff, I don’t know if I’m reading this right…” you whipped back to your earlier stream of thought so fast it almost gave you whiplash considering you we’re all kinds of stressed now you were being pulled so quickly into their inner sanctum. But Toto was still smirking - somewhat arrogantly now - at you. In that moment, Toto’s eyes flickered down to your lips and back up. It was becoming more obvious to you as to his motives.  

“How are you reading it?” His voice changed and was darker than before but the amusement still remained . “That I want to fuck you?” He asked. You weren’t quite so bold enough to answer him that yes, that was your assumption. 

“Because I do." He said directly "I want to fuck you."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling a school counselor about what my friend does online?

I (F minor) am in middle school. I have a group of friends, about 8 people, but this is about one girl in specific we can call Annie. All of us are mutuals on tumblr, twitter, etc. and we have a discord server too.

All of us are into a lot of the same things, like art, anime, video games, and have a lot of the same hobbies. Most of us also struggle with mental health stuff like anxiety and/or depression so we regularly talk to our school counselor (F, Idk how old she is).

Anyways, we're all really close and we get along really well for the most part, but lately Annie has been doing stuff that really bothers and worries us.

She's VERY into internet discourse. Has 10 paragraph long DNI page, is constantly starting fights with other people, etc. She usually argues about stuff like LGBT+ rights, womens rights, etc. but also a LOT of fandom discourse which is my biggest concern.

A lot of my other friends reblog/retweet stuff like anime gifs, fanart, memes, etc. but pretty much every post I see from Annie is her fighting with someone over shipping or something like that.

A lot of the posts are basically:

Her talking about how disgusting a certain ship or character is

How everyone who likes that specific thing is a degenerate, or freak, or pedo or groomer.

How if you like problematic ships you need to get a therapist, or you deserve to be hurt. Once I saw her arguing with someone who said they write certain stuff due to trauma and she said "You don't have trauma, you're either lying or you actually liked it and that's why you write such disgusting nasty shit"

Fighting with random people and accusing them of being a predator or a pedo

Breaking her own DNI (which says adults, proshitters, etc. DNI) and then getting mad at the other person for responding

It's really upsetting to see because she does this CONSTANTLY. She never seems to use tumblr/twitter to do things she actually likes. I never see her reblog gifs or memes or just silly lighthearted posts about stuff she enjoys.

It's especially upsetting because we're minors and she TELLS PEOPLE THAT. Like she's arguging with people that she thinks are pedos or child predators, while openly telling people her actual age. To me that's like covering yourself in bloody steaks and then jumping into water full of sharks.

I was really starting to get concerned because even in our private discord server she's always talking about how much she hates these people or whatever and how they should die, a lot of the time she says things like "they should get the wall" or "I hope their nasty fanfics happen to them irl that would teach them lol" and it really freaks me out.

She also talks about seeing the "child porn" that these people make which as far as I'm aware is drawings of characters but it still freaks me out how open and calm she is about looking at what she THINKS is child porn. I asked her if it's child porn why is it being linked in callout posts for other people (including minors!) to see and not being reported to the FBI but she just gets mad and changes the subject.

Me and our other friends have mentioned before that we don't like hearing about this kind of stuff but then she just gets mad and goes offline or gives us the silent treatment at school.

A month or so ago I got so fed up and upset, that I took a bunch of screenshots of her tumblr account and discord messages. One thing to note is that her username is VERY specific.

It's a combination of her first and last name and her birth year. Most people will not know that, but if you know her name and birthday, it's easy to tell it's her. She also goes by her real name online which I also screenshotted as proof it's her.

I brought all this to the school counselor, and I told her how worried I was about Annie, and how I think she's doing something really unsafe. Not only is she confronting people she thinks are child predators/groomers, she's telling people they deserve to get hurt in really awful ways, and looking at porn and I don't think this is good for her mental health.

The counselor at first was like "Idk are you SURE it's her? It could be anyone online!" But I insisted that it was and explained the username thing and that this was our private discord server so obviously I know it's her.

She thanked me for letting her know and told me I was being a good friend and then we talked about how I was doing, and then I left. I kind of forgot about it until a week later.

Annie wasn't online at all and I was kind of worried, but then I saw her on Monday at school. I was with our other friends and we called out her name so she would see us and come over and she LOST IT. She started screaming at us and telling us how awful we were, and how we ruined her life.

Idk what exactly happened, but apparently the counselor talked to her and her parents got involved? Her parents now monitor her internet usage, they have child safety stuff on the browsers, and she's only allowed on certain websites for doing research for school, or watching videos on youtube on their account so they can see what videos she's watching, or playing games on steam.

She said that her parents are also putting her in therapy once a week now (with an actual therapist, not the counselor) and she's only allowed to go out with an adult chaperone (either her older sister or one of her parents).

But... None of our friends know it was me who told the counselor. Annie has other friends besides us, so they're also "suspects" for being the snitch. It seems like half of our friends are relieved that Annie is kept away from that kind of stuff and the other half are mad at whoever the snitch is for ratting Annie out and resulting in her having less privacy/freedom.

At first I was happy that Annie was getting help and being kept away from this but now I feel really conflicted. I feel so disgusting talking to her and our other friends and pretending nothing happened, knowing that I was the one who told the counselor.

Annie still talks to us but she's a lot less open. We still have our discord server but apparently her parents will read through the messages to make sure she's not talking about anything bad and that she's only talking to us and not strangers.

What are these acronyms?

[gritsgigabits]

Telling the slashers you're pregnant

Finally got through a massive swamp of irl responsibilities and back to posting fanfiction~

TW: anti-baby attitudes and a crude remark from Bo.

Jason Voorhees

When you tell him you’re pregnant, Jason’s initial reaction is one of confusion. He stands in front of you and tilts his head while pointing a finger at your stomach, as if questioning is he has understood you correctly.

You nod in confirmation to his question, and continue to gauge his reaction. It is difficult to make out how Jason is feeling because all his usual gesturing that he uses to communicate with you has ceased completely. You assume he needs some time to process the information.

Mainly the information that he is able to procreate in the first place.

Once he recovers enough from the shock, Jason slowly turns his gaze towards the lake. You know, the lake that you both live by and in which he nearly drowned as a little boy. You can instantly tell where his mind has wandered to.

‘They won’t get hurt’, you tell Jason. You place your hand on his cheek and gently force his eyes from the water to look at your face. ‘We’ll look after them so that nothing bad will happen to them.’ Jason nods in reply, but uncertainty still lingers in his mind.

Jason is 50 per cent terrified and 50 per cent excited. The thought of becoming a father makes him nervous because he doesn’t think of himself as capable of taking care of a child. What is he fails to protect them from the world or from other people? What if the child is born looking… different, like Jason was?

Jason will want to make sure that if that happens, you’ll still love the child more than anything in the world. He trusts you and knows you’re not shallow or a bad person, but Jason wants to make sure that his offspring is being cared for no matter what they look like.

Bubba Sawyer

Drayton never told Bubba where babies come from, so the connection between sex and getting pregnant is a little bit lost on him. Before you tell him that you’re pregnant, Bubba hasn’t had to think about how babies end up forming inside women.

So instead of talking about how you’re pregnant, you first explain to Bubba how it happened. You tell him that getting pregnant is the actual biological reason to have sex. In the end, Bubba is amazed by how easy it is to make children – just stick it in there and boom! nine months later you have a person. How fascinating!

Overhearing your conversation, Drayton is honestly relieved that nowadays he can force you to fill Bubba in on the details of life instead of him having to do it.

Bubba isn’t mentally adult enough to think about the realitites of having a baby of his own. He gushes on about all the fun things he’s going to do with his child. It makes you a tiny bit concerned because you know that, in reality, the moment you leave Bubba alone with your baby for the first time, he will have lost it in the first five minutes.

You’re likewise worried about what kind of influence Bubba’s brothers will be on your son or daughter. Regardless of how delightfully chaotic your life in the Sawyer household is, you want your child to grow up in a safe environment where nobody smacks it with a broom for making a mess or chases it down the corridor with a fire extinguisher.

Plagued with the stress, you end up telling Bubba that you two have to move. He does his best to calm your fears and assures you that it will be alright – he’ll be the best, most protective dad you ever saw. Despite his irresponsible nature, Bubba is determined to do his absolute best to provide safety for both you and the baby.

Thomas Hewitt

Finding out that he is going to have a child, Thomas is visibly delighted. He isn’t a fan of showing (positive) emotions, so it surprises you to see him smile and laugh so openly upon hearing the news. You had been nervous to tell him about your pregnancy, so seeing his happy reaction is a huge relief.

Thomas prides himself on being responsible, rational and calm – all great qualities in a partner if you ignore the homicidal tendencies – and he has no doubt that he’ll be an excellent father. His certainty about the issue is unnerving, though, as you wonder whether he actually knows anything about bringing up children or if he just thinks it’s easy.

You interrupt his rambling to ask him if he has any hands-on experience about small children. ‘And I mean experience, not just playing with it and handing it to Luda May the moment a diaper needs changing’, you specify, pointing a finger warningly in his general direction.

Turns out Thomas does know how to heat up baby food, test the temperature of a baby’s bath water, and he doesn’t shy away from diaper changing duty. After going over these details with him, you begin to feel nervous about your own parenting skills. What if Thomas leaves the house for a few days and you end up breaking the baby in the meantime because you’re not half as good a parent as he is?

Despite wanting to celebrate the fact that you’re pregnant, Thomas spends the next few hours holding you close and soothing you while you hyperventilate into his chest.

Brahms Heelshire

You being pregnant is not something Brahms wants to hear. He doesn’t want children for several reasons. Mostly it’s because he doesn’t like to share: Brahms doesn’t want your attention to be divided between him and a baby. He has gotten used to a lifestyle where he gets to be as irresponsible as he likes without worrying about the consequences. He doesn’t need something taking that freedom away from him.

Brahms seems almost offended that you would get yourself pregnant, even though you know that he is supposed to be your first and only priority in life. You tell him that it’s his own fault for not agreeing to wear a concom, ever. It was only a matter of time before you would get a positive pregnancy test.

Brahms will walk away from the conversation after you tell him that. He disappears into the walls to pout for a few days and refuses to talk to you. You get worried when he doesn’t come out even when it’s time for his goodnight kiss.

When he finally resurfaces, Brahms acts as if nothing happened. He doesn’t say a word about the pregnancy. His avoidant behaviour prompts you to ask him, in a sarcastic tone, if he’s decided to pretend that the baby doesn’t exist until it goes away. He gives you a confrontational look in response but doesn’t say anything.

In the end, Brahms decides that you can have the baby as long as you remember your priorities: Brahms always comes first. For the time being, you agree to his terms.

Billy Loomis

When you tell him that you’re pregnant, you’re surprised by the look of disgust that overtakes Billy’s features. ‘What?’ you ask him, genuinely unsure about why he reacts in such a way.

Before he has a chance to answer, you continue, ‘I mean, I know it’s kinda bad timing and we’re both still super young and a baby’s huge responsibility, and –‘ Billy lifts up a hand to stop you. ‘Babies are gross. You know, they spit up, they’re not housebroken, and their hands are always coated in saliva or some other goo.’

You stare at him for a moment with your mouth hanging open. ‘You don’t want to have a baby because you think they’re gross?’ you ask, bewildered by his immature argument. You tell Billy that he’s going to have to get over himself. One day he’s going to be coated in spit up and drool and he’s going to embrace it because it’s his baby that’s making the mess.

Billy muses on the thought for a moment before shaking his head and saying that will never happen. You suspect that Billy is in denial about the reality of becoming a father and decide to give him some time to process the news.

Bo Sinclair

Bo is not thrilled when you tell him about your positive pregnancy test. He has told you before that he doesn’t want kinds. Bo feels that they wouldn’t go well with his style of living.

It’s not like Bo often leaves Ambrose, but the thought of a baby tying him down makes him cringe. You counter this by asking him if he even wants to leave the town, what with having stayed there his entire life and all that. Bo blatantly ignores the question.

You tell Bo that because you are already pregnant, there’s no point in him bitching about how he doesn’t want a child. He’s going to have one, whether he wants to or not. Bo calmly suggests that you drive to the nearest health centre and get an abortion.

‘Or, you know, I could just poke around with a wire hanger to save ya the trip’, he says. You give him a firm slap in reply, to which he responds ‘It was just a joke, babe.’ You tell him, ‘You have done enough poking for the time being. And besides, if I were getting an abortion, you would drive me to the clinic.’

Eventually, you decide to walk away from the conversation. It’s no use talking rationally with Bo before he has had some time to calm down and sort out his thoughts.