#but at least i spent nice time with friend on her first con and i feel like i really enjoyed convention the first time in a while

[burningfaith]

NOT THE CON VOLUNTEERS ASKING ME FOR PARENTS' PERMISSION 😭😭

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

please write some conrad fics, the tag has been DRY

Is there a Aaron Dessner that has produced that is not heartbreaking? The Great war, Tolerate it, Right where you left me, You’re losing me, Would’ve could’ve should’ve. I have nothing against Jack, but when Aaron is involved, things…hit different.  

The acronym switching from love of my life to loss of my life *UGLY CRYING*

Warnings: heartbreak

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

When coming to Cousins for Belly and Jeremiah’s wedding, you knew it would be impossible to go through a whole weekend of wedding festivities without speaking to Conrad. You tried to avoid him, but he was always right there. In the kitchen talking with Laurel. In the living room with Jeremiah and Belly. In the backyard with Steven helping set up the chairs and tables under Taylor’s instructions. 

At least he didn’t come to the wedding with a girl. It would have hurt too much.

‘’I can’t believe our Belly is getting married,’’ you said as you all sat in the living room for the smallest bachelorette party. 

There was no male stripper dancing or crazy alcohol consumption like you see in movies. Just matching pajamas, a plastic ‘bride’ crown Anika got online, and sparkling mocktails. Laurel felt out of place among the younger girls, but it was her daughter’s bachelorette. She couldn’t not be there.

Taylor took a cupcake from the table, all decorated to perfection by you. ‘’I would have never guessed she would be the first of us to marry. We all thought it would be you and Con—’’ She stopped herself when she saw Belly looking at you, realizing that if she finished her sentence it would hurt you. 

A silence fell and a lump settled in your throat. You brought your drink to your lips, wishing there was alcohol in it. Drowning your sorrows in alcohol is not the solution, but it’s good at temporarily numbing the pain.

I thought that too.

Your parents bought their holiday house in Cousins where you were ten and you had known the Fishers and the Conklins since. Susannah had invited you over to play with her kids — to make friends. Although you were closer to Jeremiah and Belly in age, it was Conrad who got along with you the best. He taught you how to play Uno, came to get you when you swam too far at the beach and helped you clean your dress when stained it eating a blue popsicle. He was always nice to you. Patient and caring. As you got older, he was only looking at you. Everyone noticed, but no one said anything. He’s just always been yours. 

Until he wasn’t. 

You didn’t want to sour the ambiance or steal the attention from the bride-to-be, so you got up and excused yourself to the bathroom. You closed the door, feeling the quiet sanctuary of solitude envelop you. Memories of you and Conrad flooded your mind, each more painful than its predecessor. Nothing would ever compare to the pain this breakup felt. 

Leaning against the sink, you stared at your reflection in the mirror, tears welling up and blurring your vision. You tried to make them go away by fanning your eyes, but they overflowed, carrying with them the weight of five years of heartache.

How could it still hurt after all this time?

With trembling hands, you reached for a tissue, dabbing at your eyes, but the tears kept coming. ‘’Please, stop.’’ 

In the morning, you woke up on a blow-up mattress in Belly’s room. Your eyes were sensitive from crying and red. You tried to cover it with eye-drops and makeup, but when you came down for breakfast and Belly pulled you in a tight hug, you knew you didn’t do a great job. 

Jeremiah eyed the two of you, raising an eyebrow and silently asking what was up, but Belly shook her head. 

The rest of the day went without any downpour of tears. A part of the afternoon was spent tanning under the sun and drinking lemonades, relishing in the last moments of tranquility before the evening's rehearsal dinner. The place was going to get filled with family members and other guests soon and it’ll get very crowded. 

Steven joined you in Belly’s bedroom as you were getting ready for dinner, still wet from being at the beach with the boys. He tried to get a kiss from Taylor, but she pushed him off as he was dripping water all over her makeup bag. Jeremiah laughed in the doorway, blowing a kiss to Belly before parting to his own bedroom to change. 

Although you weren’t the only single person in the room, you never felt more alone.  

At the dinner, you sat listening to the speeches about Belly and Jeremiah’s love. Without surprise, Steve made sure to embarrass the couple and Laurel was unable to hold back her tears when her turn came. Childhood stories and teenage anecdotes about their early moments of relationship made the guests laugh and smile. 

Everything seemed to be going smoothly until Adam inadvertently attributed a story to Belly and Jeremiah, when in fact it was about you and Conrad. The frown on Jeremiah’s forehead as his father continued to speak matched Belly, both of them not knowing what he was talking about. 

‘’Eh, Dad, Belly didn’t come to my prom…’’ Jeremiah whispered to his father. ‘’I went to hers and she was wearing a purple dress, not green.’’ 

Adam paused, his realization dawning slowly. ‘’Oh. You’re right. That was Conrad. I caught him and his girl making out outside the house when they came back. Susannah was out of her mind for allowing her to sleep over…’’  

The revelation hung in the air, accompanied by an uncomfortable silence. Your grip on the glass of wine tightened involuntarily, the pressure causing it to shatter in your hand. Shards of glass cut into your skin as crimson droplets mixed with the spilled wine. 

Beside you, Taylor gasped in concern, her eyes widening at the sight. ‘’Oh my god, are you—’’ 

Ignoring the sting of pain and Taylor’s voice, you excused yourself and hurried inside to tend to your injury. You grabbed some paper towels and pressed them over your cuts. 

Unbeknownst to you, Conrad followed after you. As you stood there, watching the white soak and turn red, you felt his presence behind you. ‘’Don’t do that.’’ His touch was gentle as he took your hand and removed the soiled paper towels, placing them on the counter. ‘’Never apply pressure to an injury that’s not clean of debris. You’ll push them further in,’’ he advised, the doctor in him speaking. ‘’Let me see.’’ 

‘’I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,’’ you insisted, attempting to brush off his concern. ‘’Go back to everyone else, it’s almost time for the best man’s speech.’’ 

But Conrad didn’t budge. ‘’Sit here. I need to check if there’s glass in it.’’ he urged, his tone firm yet caring. 

Knowing there was no way out of this, you sat on one of the kitchen stools and let Conrad check your injury. He turned on the kitchen tap and you hissed as the water hit your freshly cut skin, the cool liquid soothing the sharp ache. 

You sat there as Conrad tended to your wound in silence, his fingers gentle as he inspected your hand for any embedded glass fragments. You couldn't help but notice the warmth of his touch and the upgraded woodsy cologne, their familiarity causing your heart to flutter despite the pain. 

His focus was entirely on your hand, his brow furrowed in concentration. It reminded you of that one time you fell from your bike and he patched up your knee and elbow. Once he made sure there was no glass in it, he went to fetch an antiseptic and gauze from the bathroom.  

As he was wrapping it up, you thanked him. A simple ‘thanks’. 

‘’Be careful drinking wine, next time.’’ Conrad meant it as a light teasing, but you weren’t in a mood to laugh.

‘’Don’t say anything. Please,’’ you pleaded, your voice barely above a whisper. ‘’It hurts seeing you — it really hurts. So much that I didn’t want to come to the wedding, but I couldn’t miss Belly’s big day. I couldn’t do that to her. What type of friend would I be?’’ The weight of your words hung heavy in the air between you, the truth of them echoing in the silence of the room. ‘’But being here, watching her and Jeremiah getting married is killing me because that should have been us,’’ you continued, your voice trembling with emotion. ‘’This house is where we met; every corner holds tons of memories of us and it’s haunting me, torturing me since I got here.’’

‘’I never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry—’’ 

‘’You’re sorry? No sorry will be enough,’’ you said. ‘’You told me I'm the love of your life about a million times. You said you would never leave. But you did. I loved you so much— You were it for me, Conrad. It was always you. But now you’re the loss of my life.’’ 

He said your name, but once again, you didn’t let him speak. 

You got down from the stool, the stinging pain in your hand still present. ‘’I should get back outside. Hopefully Laurel knows a way to get blood out of my dress.’’

—

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[lemoncrushh]

Dressing For Revenge

Summary: Still heartbroken from finding your ex cheating on you, you go to a nightclub with your friend Kelsie, where not only do you run into your ex, but also a handsome gentleman who's willing to help you get over him.

Warnings: dirty talk, oral sex (female receiving), angry sex (consensual), MUST BE 18+ TO READ

Word Count: 8.6k

Based on this request.

A/N: This is my first new fic of my rebrand. I hope you enjoy! Please be kind. FEEDBACK IS LOVE.

“God, you look hot, Y/N.”

You smirked at your reflection in the mirror and at your friend Kelsie who sat on your bed behind you.

“Not bad, huh?” you wiggled your brows as your hands swept down your hips, accentuating the slim shape of the dress and your hourglass silhouette.

“I mean, I’d fuck you.”

You chuckled. “Thanks, Kelse.”

“That is the look you’re going for, right?” your friend asked. “The get me drunk and fuck me senseless look? Or is it the look but you can’t touch idea?”

“Hmm, I guess we’ll see,” you smirked.

“Huh?” Kelsie rose from the bed as you grabbed your handbag and strutted towards the front door. “What does that mean?”

“It means…it depends on who I run into.”

“Not Luke.”

You grimaced at the mention of his name. “Fuck no!” you yelled before quickly masking your disdain for your ex with a sweet smile. “But who knows who else will be there tonight.”

“There’s the Y/N I know,” Kelsie beamed, following you out to the awaiting Uber.

Nightclubs weren't really your scene. At least they hadn't been until you'd met Luke. He was rich and liked to flaunt it. His mission was always to see and be seen. So whether it was a Hollywood party or the loudest disco, he knew where the action was and always made an appearance. When he started taking you to clubs and parties, you weren't sure it was your thing. While you liked the personal attention he gave you and the money he spent on you, you didn't much enjoy watching other girls falling all over him. Especially drunk girls.

But you had to admit, even now, you had gotten used to jetset the lifestyle a bit. You'd come to know some great people, Kelsie included, because of the nightlife you'd shared with your ex.

Which unfortunately was the exact reason he was now your ex. Because of his lifestyle.

You could still smell the weed and whiskey that hung in the air that night you'd found him in the guest room at that party in Malibu with that little tramp. She'd barely been legal, for fuck sake, but that was beside the point. Up until then, you’d had your suspicions that Luke was cheating on you. Hell, he’d flirt with girls right in front of you. But every night he’d take you home and make you feel like the Queen of the World, and all your doubts managed to fizzle away like the bubbles in the champagne he’d paid for earlier.

That dreadful night, however, your suspicions had been confirmed in plain sight, the harsh reality stinging your eyes with the tears that it brought. Luke had begged for forgiveness later, swearing on his grandmother’s grave (who was still alive, by the way) that he would never do it again and that he loved only you. You’d told him you needed time to think about it, but it only took two days to find out from a mutual friend that he’d been out with another woman at yet another nightclub.

So stepping past security into this club was already starting to make you have second thoughts and leave a bitter taste in your mouth. But when Kelsie grabbed your arm and pulled you to the bar, you remembered the reason why you came.

Confiding in Kelsie, you promised you were ready to move on and have a nice girls’ night out. You let her believe it was her idea to get as dolled up as you had. And you did appreciate the little persuasion she’d provided. But truth be told, you would have gone out tonight with or without her. Perhaps moving on wasn’t the correct term for it, but one thing was for certain. You needed to get laid…badly.

Kelsie ordered you both cocktails from the bar while you kept your eyes peeled for contenders. You locked eyes with a handsome Latino who gave you a smile. You smiled back.

Possibly… you thought to yourself.

“Here you go, Y/N,” you heard Kelsie say as she handed you a glass.

“Thanks,” you muttered, quickly taking a long sip through the little straw.

“So how’s the turn out?” she grinned, turning to face the rest of the club alongside you.

“Not bad,” you chuckled. “Not great either. But the night is still young.”

“Hmm, someone’s eyeing you at two o’clock.”

Gazing over the crowd, you caught sight of the guy Kelsie was referring to. Eh. He was okay, but nothing to flip over. He definitely fell into the look but you can’t touch category. If he came by the bar, you’d let him buy you a drink, but that was it.

“Good evening ladies,” you heard a voice say from the other side of Kelsie. It was the Latin Lover. “What are we drinking tonight?”

“Nothing fancy,” Kelsie grinned, crossing one leg over the other as she batted her lashes. “Just rum and Coke.”

“Ah, a Cuba Libra!” the handsome man beamed, placing his hand on his chest. “You know, that’s where I’m from.”

“Cuba? No way!”

“Okay…it’s where my father’s from,” he held up his free hand and nodded sheepishly. “But I am still proud of my heritage.”

Kelsie giggled as the man leaned against the bar and introduced himself to her. You took this as your cue. The unspoken word to back off and let your friend take the lead. No harm done. You hadn’t begun to make the rounds yet.

“Going to the ladies’,” you leaned over and whispered to Kelsie. She gave a nod of acknowledgement as you slid off your stool.

As you made your way toward the back of the club, a handful of men caught your eye. You held your head high and winked when needed, flipping your hair off your bare shoulder.

And that’s when you saw him. He wore the jacket you’d bought him for Christmas, his ever present whiskey glass in his hand, a long legged twig of a girl attached to his hip as he chatted with a group of people.

Stopping in your tracks, you felt your hands form fists at your sides, the bile rising in your throat. Then taking a deep breath, you tried to think of the best way to get around Luke and his group in order to get to the bathroom without him seeing you.

Zig-zagging through the crowd, you just about made it to the other side of Luke’s clique when you heard your name and felt a hand around your wrist. Your automatic reaction was to turn toward him, your brain instantly cursing you for it. With your lips pursed, you scowled at him.

“You look amazing,” he said. As if you didn’t know.

“Hmph,” you grunted.

“How are you?” he asked as he stepped closer, his other hand grazing your hip. But you quickly stepped back, realizing he was trying to pull you in. Releasing your arm from his hold, you rolled your eyes. The nerve of this guy!

“As if you care.”

“What do you mean, Y/N?” he pleaded, his blue eyes giving you the look that used to make you melt. But you knew all his tricks now. “Of course I care. I’ve always cared about you.”

“Seriously?”

You were ready to slap him when the woman next to him turned around, sliding her bony hand up his arm.

“Baby, who is this?” she cooed.

“Oh, this is-”

“Nobody,” you interrupted, standing up straight. Then you turned swiftly, heading for the restrooms with determination.

Tears threatened to fall from your eyes, blurring your vision as you scrambled to get to your destination, ready to hide in a stall until your composure was contained. Suddenly, you felt a body slam into your chest, nearly knocking the air out of your lungs.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry!” you heard a voice declare as two hands grabbed hold of your upper arms to steady you. “Are you okay?”

“Huh? Fuck,” you stumbled, shaking your head. Getting a clearer image of the man who ran into you, you didn’t bother to exchange niceties. “Yeah. Watch where the fuck you’re going, asshole!”

You only stayed long enough to see the shocked look on his face before running toward the ladies’ room. Slamming into the door with your palms, you found an empty stall and locked yourself inside. Taking deep breaths, you counted to ten like your therapist had taught you to do.

Motherfucking Luke! Why did he have to be here? Of all the clubs in L.A. You’d known there had been a slight chance he would be at this club. You had gone to it a couple times with him before. But he also frequented others. Why this club? Why tonight?

Inhaling a jagged breath, you shook your head. No! You were not going to let one stupid prick ruin your night just because you happened to run into him. No matter how rich or good looking he was. No matter how good in bed he was.

Ugh…you sighed as you slid down the wall. You missed it. The sex. It had been amazing, delicious. Luke could make you come like…

Shut up, Y/N!

There’s other men who could make you feel just as good, if not better. And you had already taken a gander at some prospects tonight.

Washing your hands at the sink and doing your best to touch up your face, you took another deep breath and made your way back to the club. The loud music hit you in the face as your heels clicked along the floor, setting the tone for the rest of the evening. You spotted Kelsie on the dance floor with Mr. Cuba Libra and decided it was time to find yourself someone to dance with, or at least buy you a drink. You didn’t even bother to look in Luke’s direction, and instead decided to head back to the bar.

You saw his back first, a dark maroon jacket covering his broad shoulders. But it was the curls on the nape of his neck that caught your attention, the way they whispered against his collar so delicately. And when he turned his head slightly to talk to the person next to him, you knew for certain it was the man you’d bumped into earlier.

You watched him lift a highball glass to his lips, taking a swig. The rings on his fingers made you swoon inwardly, a secret turn-on of yours. When he turned away again, you decided it was time to bite the bullet. With your tail between your legs, you sauntered up to the stranger and poked him in the back. He turned inquisitively, immediately raising his eyebrows when he noticed it was you.

“I believe…” you paused to clear your throat. “I owe you an apology.”

You watched the man’s face soften, his full lips making a perfect circle before he said, “Oh.”

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you and called you an asshole.”

Giving a shrug, he slid off his stool and stood to face you.

“It’s alright. Sometimes I am one.”

You caught the corner of his mouth twitching before it grew into a smirk, pushing his cheek until a deep dimple appeared. Automatically, you smiled, feeling a weakness in your knees. Holy shit.

Getting your bearings, you blinked. “Anyway, just wanted to say I’m sorry. I wasn’t…feeling well.”

“I reckoned it was something like that. I saw you run for the toilets.”

Sheepishly looking down at your hands, you nodded. “Yeah. I was…in a hurry, and you ran into me. But I shouldn’t have been so rude.”

“Apology accepted,” he grinned wider, holding out his hand. “I’m Harry.”

“Y/N,” you replied, shaking his warm, ringed hand.

Then the jerk had the nerve to cover your hand with his other one as he leaned forward and looked you in the eyes. “Are you feeling better now, Y/N?”

You immediately felt like syrup was oozing down your body at the way he said your name.

“Kinda,” you teased. “But I’d feel much better with a drink.”

If you hadn’t already, the moment Harry smiled the biggest smile yet, his eyes twinkling as he guided you back to the bar, you decided you’d let him do more than buy you a drink. You’d let him try to make you come tonight.

The music was loud enough to send each pulse and vibration running through your veins. And the liquor Harry had offered you added to the sensation, making you feel weightless and on top of the world. But most of all, the feeling of his body against your back as you both swayed and grinded sent you to a hypnotic state of bliss.

“Who’s that?” you suddenly heard Harry whisper in your ear.

“Huh? Who?”

“That bloke you’ve had your eye on since we stepped onto the dance floor.”

“I don’t-” you choked, “know what you’re talking about.”

“Y/N,” Harry said, turning you around to face him. Clipping your chin with his finger, he forced you to look at him. “I’m pretty observant. You may be dancing with me but your gaze is glued to that man in the grey jacket over there. Now, either you really fancy him, or it’s someone you know.”

“I’m sorry,” you lowered your eyes, embarrassed and a little ashamed that he noticed. “It’s my ex.”

“Ah.”

“I’m not…I mean…I don’t want him back or anything. If that’s what you’re thinking. I didn’t know he was going to be here,” you confessed.

“That wasn’t what I was thinking,” said Harry. “But thanks for telling me.”

“I’m sorry I was looking over at him,” you continued, pressing your hands against his chest. You felt relief when he didn’t object. “It’s over between us…it’s just…”

“Still a little raw?” Harry finished.

“Yeah.”

“I get it. I just got over a breakup, too.”

“Really?”

“Well, it’s been a couple months, but yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” you frowned.

Harry’s mouth curved into a smile. “Stop saying that. You didn’t do anything. I was just curious.”

“Still…it was rude of me,” you returned the smile. “Here I am dancing with this incredibly attractive guy…”

“Who?” Harry playfully feigned stupidity, looking around him. When you giggled, he grinned wider, his dimples dipping in his cheeks. You blushed. “Oh, you mean me?”

“Who’s also a charmer,” you added.

“C’mere,” he instructed, pulling you against his body again, his hands sliding down your hips. “I know you don’t know me, Y/N. But I can show you a good time and make you forget about whatshisname. Even if just for one night.”

Your eyes twinkled with lust as you gazed into his green ones. You imagined kissing his full lips, his mustache tickling you, his stubble scratching deliciously against your skin. In a moment of excitement, you lifted your hand to touch it, your fingers grazing across his jaw.

“I’d like that. Very much,” you purred.

Slowly, Harry leaned down, and with his fingertips digging deeper into your hips, he covered your mouth with his. He tasted of whiskey, but not like Luke used to. This was sweeter, with a hint of cherries. Wanting to explore his mouth further, you slid your hands up his shoulders and fingered the wisps of hair on his neck as he allowed you access to his tongue. You swore you felt him groan as he pulled you even closer. 

While the beat still pulsed around you, you found a particular pulse of your own, racing through your veins like a newly lit fire that you’d thought had long died out. As Harry continued to seduce your mouth with his tongue, your fingertips found his chest once again where you slid your palm inside his shirt and ran it across his bare chest. The touch seemed to ignite something in Harry too, and you felt him chuckle against your lips before he pulled away, grabbing your wrists.

“You’re gonna make me strip you right here and have my way with you, baby,” he growled.

His hungry eyes told you he could very well do just that. Lifting his gaze, however, his smirk fell as he looked past you.

“Hmm, looks like the tables have turned.”

“What?” you asked.

Cocking his head, he gestured behind you. Turning slightly, you caught Luke glaring at you. His jaw was set, his eyes narrowed. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he didn’t approve of your sexy little display with Harry, or might even feel a tinge of jealousy.

Hmmph, you shrugged off the notion. Luke had never shown any sign of jealousy as long as you’d known him. Still, it made you a little excited to know he was keeping tabs on you.

“I’ll be damned,” you heard Harry chuckle. “I’d say he’s a wee bit unhappy, Y/N.”

“Serves him right,” you let the words slip.

“I’m gonna guess he was the possessive type.”

“Actually, no,” you replied. “In public he barely acted like he knew me. I’d find him flirting with every other woman in the room.”

“But he still expected you to be with him, right?” Harry asked.

“Yeah…”

“While he could do whatever he wanted.”

You furrowed your brows, finally understanding Harry’s point. “Yeah!”

“He didn’t deserve you,” Harry said, his voice low but loud enough for you to hear. “Didn’t appreciate you.”

“Probably not,” you sighed, your hips still swaying as Harry held you close.

“Definitely not,” he retorted, lifting his right hand to slide it under your ear. "Come home with me, Y/N. Make him really jealous. Make him realize what he's missing."

You snorted in disbelief as your fingertips tickled the back of his hand. “I doubt he’d even notice if I left with you.”

“I beg to differ,” said Harry. “The way his eyes are shooting daggers at me right now says otherwise.”

“I don’t like to use people, Harry,” you claimed.

He threw his head back laughing, and you could feel the vibration in his chest against your own.

“Seriously, Y/N? Isn’t that why you’re here? Why we’re all here? Regardless of whether or not your ex had shown up at this club tonight, wasn’t your intention to get back at him? To find someone to help you forget?”

“Well…yeah…kinda,” you stammered.

“And wouldn’t I just be perfect to help in that regard?”

You felt your face flush as you looked into his eyes. He was absolutely right. Your goal had been to get back at Luke tonight, if only to prove to yourself that you didn’t need him. And Harry was so sexy and willing…

“Yes,” you heard yourself say.

You followed Harry to the bar where he paid his tab, walking right past Luke and his group. Though you dared not turn your head to look at him, you could somehow feel his gaze on you.

“Ready?” Harry asked, stuffing his wallet into his pocket.

“You have no idea how ready I am,” you teased.

Harry didn’t miss your tone. He pulled you close once again, planting a wet kiss on your lips, right there for everyone, especially Luke, to see. When your mouths separated, you licked your lips seductively.

“And you have no idea how badly I want to touch you right here, right now,” Harry murmured in your ear. “Let’s go.”

As soon as Harry grabbed your hand, you heard your name being called. You turned to see Luke incredulously glaring at you.

“You can’t be serious!” he shouted.

“Excuse me?”

“This prick? You’re leaving with him?”

“What’s it to you?” you shouted back. “I don’t belong to you anymore, remember?”

“I fucked up, Y/N! I thought you were forgiving me!”

“You thought wrong!” you chuckled. Then you looked over at the woman you had assumed he was with. “Does she know you’re a cheater? Or have you been lying to her like you did to me?”

“Y/N,” you heard Harry say, tugging on your hand. “He’s not worth your time, baby.”

“Naw, see…” Luke yelled, clenching his jaw as he stepped forward. “You don’t get to call her that. She’s not yours!”

“She is tonight, mate.”

While the idea of being anyone’s possession was usually appalling, the way Harry said that made your legs weak. And the fact that he hadn’t let go of your hand yet made you feel safe.

“You fucking-”

“Luke, man!” someone called out. You watched as two of his friends held him back and told him to calm down.

“C’mon, Y/N,” whispered Harry before he pulled you through the crowd and out the front door to the valet where he stopped and looked at you. “Are you okay?”

“No, but I will be,” you replied as he pushed your hair from your face.

“I can just take you home if you’d like. We don’t have to-”

“No. I want to.”

“You sure?”

You merely nodded before grabbing his jacket and pulling him into another deep kiss. You felt him moan against your lips, reigniting the fire in your core. A black car pulled up to the curb then as you released him.

“I need to feel you tonight, Harry,” you whined. “Please.”

“Anything you want, baby,” he sighed before guiding you to his car.

You felt a little sleazy and a twinge of guilt for leaving Kelsie at the club. But when you texted her in Harry’s car, she swore she was fine and having the time of her life with her Cuban guy. She also gave both you and Harry kudos for not falling into Luke’s trap and letting a full fight break out. Though she hadn’t seen exactly what happened, she had heard a commotion and then caught the seething look on Luke’s face when she headed for the bathroom.

“Everything alright?” Harry asked when he stopped at a red light.

“Um…yeah…” You turned off your phone and looked up at him. “Just fine.”

“Good,” he grinned, gently placing his hand on your knee. “My place is just up here.”

You tried your best to not gawk at the stately home as Harry turned into the circular driveway. Shit, even Luke’s house wasn’t this extravagant. You smiled over at Harry as he killed the engine and stared at you.

“Still wanna come in?” he smirked.

“Mmhmm,” you nodded, biting your lip and squeezing your thighs together at his choice of words.

Harry chuckled low, shaking his head. You thought he was going to add to the spice that sizzled in the air, but instead he opened his car door. He was already at your side before you barely had your legs out. He helped you out of the car, sliding his arm around your waist, and he stared into your eyes as he slammed the door shut behind you.

Harry’s house was gorgeous to say the least. When you stepped into the foyer, you immediately noticed the grand staircase, a large statue and a painting above the mantel that was no doubt an original.

“Can I get you a drink?” he offered. “Scotch or a glass of wine?”

“Actually…” you blushed, “I could really go for some water. My throat feels dry.”

“No problem,” he grinned. “Kitchen’s this way.”

You followed Harry through the living room where he peeled off his jacket and laid it across the back of a chair. As he rolled up a shirt sleeve with one hand, you saw him grab a remote with the other which set the fireplace aglow. Damn!

Turning the corner into the kitchen, you watched as Harry opened what looked like a large pantry but turned out to be the refrigerator.

“Well!” you gasped, unable to hold in your amazement any longer. “Looks like you’re doing pretty well for yourself.”

That low chuckle that you’d already come to adore rose from his chest and dimples appeared in his cheeks as he set two bottles of sparkling water on the counter. Then he surprised you further by not only getting down two glasses from the cabinet, but then filling them with ice and pouring the water over it.

“I do alright, I reckon.”

He handed you a glass and you took a generous sip before lowering it. “So what do you do?”

“I’m in real estate.”

“Okayyyy… No surprise there,” you commented as you gestured around the area. “I suppose that’s how you scored this gorgeous mansion?”

Harry laughed, nearly spitting his water. “It’s not a mansion.”

“Yeah, it is. Fuck, you are rich if you can’t tell that.”

“Does that bother you?”

“No! Why would it? Unless…oh my God, you’re not married, are you?”

“No,” Harry snorted.

“Engaged? Separated? Newly divorced with an ex wife you owe a ton of alimony to?”

“No,” Harry laughed harder. Then he set his glass on the counter and placed his hands on your arms. “Y/N, I promise, I’m none of those things.”

“Then…how? Why?”

“Why am I still single?”

You nodded first before managing to squeak out a yes.

“Same reason you are,” he replied softly, his hands sliding up your shoulders and finding your jaw.

“What do you mean?”

“I was with the wrong person. And it took me a long time to realize.”

Harry’s words hung in the air as you tried to conjure up your own, to no avail. Instead you stared at his lips, now hydrated from the water, as his thumbs ran across your cheeks.

“Was she a cheater, too?” you finally asked.

Harry blinked his eyes softly. “Yeah.”

Who the hell would cheat on you? is what you wanted to say. Instead, you said, “Fuck them.”

“Yeah.”

Tilting his head, Harry captured your lips with his, sending a wave of desire down to your toes. Your fingers found the buttons of his shirt, and you hastily began to unfasten them. When you reached the waistband of his trousers, Harry tugged the hem of his shirt and removed it completely, tossing it on the floor. Then with your mouths still intertwined, he lifted you up and set you on the kitchen counter. Sliding his hands up your thighs, he grinned against your lips.

“I’ve been dying to get this fucking little dress off of you all night.”

“Yeah? How do you wanna do it?” you purred, leaning back and sticking your tits out.

“Hmm. Part of me wants to just tear it off right here,” he said, his sultry eyes burning into yours. “But the other part of me wants to take you upstairs and do it slowly. So slowly you can hardly stand it. Taking my time with you, kissing you, licking you, peeling your dress off inch by inch until you’re writhing and whimpering my name.”

“Mmm, I like the second one,” you breathed.

“Who says you get a vote, hmm?” Harry raised a brow.

“Oh.”

Your mouth remained in the O shape as Harry continued to run his hands up your legs and under your dress. You scooted closer to him on the counter, as much as you possibly could without slipping off. Harry quickly understood your intent, pushing himself between your legs, his hands finding their way to your ass where he squeezed.

“So what’s it gonna be?” you inquired, just before Harry lowered his head and kissed the exposed skin at the top of your breast. You gasped at the sudden touch, his lips moist and cool from the iced water.

Allowing Harry to take his time answering, you watched his sensual mouth caress your chest as you felt yourself get wetter and wetter. His fingertips pinched your sensitive skin on your rear until he found the waistband of your thong.

“You’re so fucking hot, Y/N,” he murmured as he pulled the elastic and made it pop against your hip. “You smell like cherry vanilla, and you taste like it too.”

You grinned at him, sliding a perfectly manicured nail down his chest and grabbing hold of his cross necklace.

“You like?”

“Mmm, yes. I wanna taste some more. But I wanna do it upstairs.”

“Lead the way, honey,” you beamed.

Seven thousand tiny nerves in your body were set afire as you took Harry’s hand and followed him up the enormous staircase. You stole tiny glimpses into each room as he led you to the end of the hall, stopping at a set of double doors that were opened to a stunning master suite.

“I’d show you the rest of the house, but I’d rather get down to business if it’s okay with you,” Harry smirked.

“Of course,” you agreed.

Stepping into the bedroom, you caught sight of the California King sized bed covered in luxurious linens. The entire room had the most intoxicating, manly aroma, like tobacco and patchouli.

“Wow, you certainly don’t scrimp,” you commented.

“I like to think I have good taste,” he said, grabbing your waist.

You chuckled as he pulled you close, goosebumps erupting all over your flesh. You ran your fingers down his chest, tracing his tattoos.

“I like these birds,” you said. “They don’t represent you and your ex do they?”

“No,” Harry shook his head. “I had these long before I ever…y’know. Met her.”

“Ah okay. Good.” And with that, you leaned forward and softly kissed each bird. When you lifted your head, Harry was grinning at you.

“I thought I was the one who was getting a taste.”

“You also said you wanted to take your time. Maybe I’m a little impatient, Harry.”

With a low, sexy laugh, Harry guided you backwards toward the bed. When your back hit the silk duvet, you watched him hover over you, the dim light creating a glow around his chestnut hair. A cluster of clunks sounded as you both kicked off your shoes. You smiled up at Harry, the excitement and anticipation both alluring.

“I am gonna take my time, darling,” he confirmed. “So slow that you’ll be begging me, your sweet pussy throbbing in agony.”

“Oh my God,” you gulped. This was going to be either torture or heaven. Maybe both.

Starting with a soft, sweet kiss, Harry let you get comfortable on the bed. The second kiss was deeper, his tongue sliding into your mouth like a warm, wet snake, eager to meet its mate. You kissed him back, one hand on his neck, the other tangling in his curls. You sighed as you felt his body relax and situate on top of yours, his legs between yours and his hands cradling your head.

You could still taste a twinge of whiskey on his tongue, and that mixed with the incredible fragrance in the room made you light headed. As Harry continued to kiss you, you felt the urge to feel him. Pushing your hips up, you could feel his erection between your legs. But when you slid your hand down his side to get a touch, Harry grabbed your wrist and pinned it down on the bed next to you. You whined in protest, but Harry only resumed his assault on your mouth.

You wondered if you’d ever been kissed this way. Luke certainly never did this. He wasn’t one to skip foreplay, but he definitely liked to move things along. And even in high school when you were still a virgin, guys never concentrated so thoroughly on the kissing part. This was…different. But also incredibly satisfying. Harry was an excellent kisser, to put it mildly.

When he seemed to be content with your lips, Harry moved on to your neck, then your shoulder. Reaching the skinny strap of your dress, he looped his fingers through and pulled it aside. You hitched a breath when he’d pulled both sides down your shoulders and kissed the tops of your breasts again. He held onto your waist as he slid his tongue across your skin. You felt yourself hike your hips up again, needing the friction.

“It zips in the back,” you heard yourself say.

“What, baby?” Harry asked, lifting his head to look at you. One strand of hair had fallen on his forehead. God, he was gorgeous.

“My dress,” you breathed. “There’s a zipper in the back.”

“I know,” he smirked.

You whimpered low, squirming underneath him. “Aren’t you…please?”

“Oh, you’re begging already? I’m not even halfway there yet, love.”

“Jesus,” you gasped.

“What do you need, baby? Tell me.”

“I need you to touch me, Harry.”

“I am touching you.”

“You know what I mean!” you cried.

Harry shook his head and tsked. “I told you I’m taking my time. We’ll get there, babe. Okay?”

You sighed through your nose. “Fine.”

“Are you gonna behave? Or do I need to punish you?” he teased.

“Fuck! Punish me, please! I need to feel you.”

“Ohh!” Harry sat back on his knees and looked at you, one eyebrow raised. “I didn’t know you were a naughty girl.”

“Well, now you do,” you said flatly.

Harry chuckled that sexy way again, making your wetness pool even more in what was left of your pitiful panties.

“I thought you wanted revenge,” Harry stated.

“Revenge for what?”

“Your ex. To prove you’re better off without him.”

“I am,” you agreed.

“Did he kiss you like that?” Harry asked.

You shook your head. “No.”

“Did you like it when I did it?”

Smiling gently, you nodded. “Very much.”

“Don’t you think you deserve to be kissed like that?”

“I…”

“What about touched like this?”

Harry continued, running his palms up your thighs until he reached the hem of your dress. You stared at him when he paused, then slid them further to your panties. You felt him glide his thumb across the center, so softly you almost whined at the lack of friction. But then he repeated the motion, pressing little by little each time.

Your breaths became faster, quickened by each press of his thumb. He didn’t remove his eyes from yours, watching you as you started to shift your hips and let out tiny moans.

“Is that where you wanted to be touched?” Harry inquired.

“Mmm, yes,” you managed to sound between breaths.

“You’re fucking soaked, baby. Perhaps I was wrong with taking my time.”

“I told you.”

The cackle that came from Harry was unexpected, but at least he now understood how ready you were.

“Here I thought I was trying to prove to you what I think you deserve, when what you really need is a good fuck.”

“God yes, please!” you cried.

When Harry chuckled a little more, you suddenly rose up onto your elbows.

“I’m sorry, that didn’t sound right,” you said.

“What do you mean?”

“It sounded selfish. I don’t mean to imply I didn’t like all the other stuff.”

“No, I get it,” Harry shook his head. “And you’re definitely not selfish.”

“No?”

“Not at all. You deserve a good fuck, too.”

You bit your lip. “So do you.”

“Yeah?” Harry crawled up your body, resuming his previous position. This time his cock was even harder, poking you in just the right place.

“Mmmhmm,” you moaned.

Sliding his hands around your waist, Harry reached for the zipper on the back of your dress and pulled it down. A loud breath escaped your throat when he finally slipped it down and over your hips.

“Fuck me!” he exclaimed with a sigh. “Look at you, you gorgeous thing.”

Before you could reply, Harry’s mouth was on your breast, sucking on your nipple. You moaned explicitly at the instant and much needed contact. When he’d given both nipples equal attention, he changed course to your belly, slithering down your body until he situated himself between your thighs.

“I think, kitten…” he cooed, grabbing hold of the sides of your thong, “that these need to go. They’re much too wet to keep wearing.”

You groaned in agreement, letting Harry remove your panties completely.

“I reckon I can help with that too,” he added, placing his palm on your inner thigh before sticking out his tongue and lapping your skin there.

Holy shit! He hadn’t even touched your clit yet and you were already about to explode.

Harry repeated the action on your other thigh before finally…finally centering himself at your pussy. He opened you gently, then so delicately pressed his tongue to your clit. You almost came unglued as he started to move it in various lines and shapes, adding a bit more pressure to each lick.

“God damn, kitten, you do taste good. So delicious.”

As he resumed his oral pleasure on you, you began to pant and moan, grabbing hold of his hair and curling your toes. Fuck, what this man could do with his mouth!

Just when you started to feel the burn in your core and thought you might go over the edge, a finger joined in on the fun, slipping past your juices with ease. You felt an extra tightness in your stomach, your legs trembling next to Harry’s head.

“Oh God! Harry! Baby! So….so good!”

You heard him hum against your pussy, his tongue flickering in the best rhythm, and a second finger slid in with the first.

“Aaaaaaahhhhh!” you cried, grabbing fists of his hair.

Your orgasm thundered through your entire body with Harry still transfixed on your pleasure. It seemed to last for ages, like you couldn’t stop.

“Harry! Oh shit!”

You finally came down after a couple more seconds, your body limp. Harry lifted his head finally, a cheeky grin on his face as he wiped away your juices from his chin. Then he crawled up the bed again to face you. When he leaned in for a kiss, you backed away.

“What…what are you doing?” you asked.

“Um…was gonna kiss you?”

“Oh.”

“Do you not like to taste yourself?”

Biting your lip, you shrugged. “Luke never liked to do that. So I got used to it.”

“Never liked to do what? Eat your pussy or kiss you after?” Harry asked.

“Kiss after. He always made me wash myself off before we kissed or…did anything else.”

Harry frowned and narrowed his eyes. “Fuck that guy. He wouldn’t do that and he was shagging other women?”

“Yeah.”

“Babe,” said Harry as he laid on his side next to you. “I think it’s time you got over him.”

“I am over him,” you declared.

“Really? Seems to me like you’re still pretty scarred from him.”

“Well, I am,” you agreed. “That’s gonna take some time. But I don’t love him anymore. He cheated on me. Do you still love your ex?”

Harry stared at you a moment before saying, “No. But I’m still a little bitter and angry, I admit.”

“Yeah,” you nodded with a scowl. “That’s what I am. I’m so fucking angry.”

“Then that’s what you need to do, Y/N. Let it all out. On me.”

You stared incredulously at Harry. Though his expression was serious, his eyes had a certain softness to them, as though he was silently willing you to let go.

“Come ‘ere,” he whispered, pulling you close against his body.

His mouth covered yours once again, a tender kiss of vulnerability, this time allowing you to take the lead. When your tongues met, you felt him sigh. You cupped his face with your hands, his scruffy jaw sending yet another spark through your veins. This man was so incredibly sexy, and he was wanting you to take advantage of the situation. Let out all of your emotions in a single roll in the hay. Who were you to resist?

“Let me help you with that,” he murmured when your fingers glided down his belly to his belt.

Rising from the bed, Harry hurriedly unbuckled his belt and dropped his pants. You sheepishly examined the massive bulge in his briefs before he removed them as well, stepping out of them and returning to the bed.

“I’m all yours, baby,” he offered. “Show me what you want.”

“Harry…” you breathed, unable to take your eyes off of his beautiful physique and his long, thick cock.

“Fuuuuck.”

The dimples returned as Harry smirked with a nod, placing his arm behind his head. “That’s the idea.”

Words escaping you - not to mention air - you couldn’t decide if you wanted to take him in your mouth or straddle him. You’d never had this much control before. You watched as Harry began to stroke himself, and your mouth began to water. But your pussy began to twitch, too. Damn it.

“This is about you, babe,” Harry voiced. “But don’t take too long to decide.”

As his thumb ran over the tip of his cock, you finally made your decision. Throwing your leg over his waist, you could already feel yourself dripping.

“You wanna ride me, darling?”

“Yes,” you nodded.

“Okay, hold on. Lemme get a condom.”

When Harry retrieved the protection from the bedside drawer, you offered to put it on. Harry watched you, an easy grin on his face. Then you aimed his hard cock at our entrance, taking a deep breath before sliding down slowly.

“Oh, Jesus babe,” Harry groaned, his eyelids fluttering. “Fuck, that feels so good already.”

With a smirk of your own, you began to ride him, taking it easy at first to adjust to his size. He definitely filled you more than Luke had.

You concentrated on Harry’s face as you moved, letting your pussy wetten with each thrust. He reached for your tits, cupping them and then grabbing your nipples. You threw your head back, feeling a moan escape your throat from deep down.

“Fuck, baby,” growled Harry. “You’re a fucking dream, you know that? I can’t believe your man didn’t want this.”

With a jagged breath, you looked back at him, his gorgeous face watching you in awe. It made you feel amazing.

“How dare he cheat on you?,” Harry added. “What was he thinking? Look at you. Riding my cock, taking me so deep and so well.”

“Yeah,” you whined.

“How dare he bury his cock in someone else's pussy when he has this little kitten ready to please his every whim. His every need. You do that, don’t you baby? You like to please your man, hmm?”

“Yes. I do.”

“You like to watch him become captive of your tight, warm pussy til he can’t get enough.”

You moaned, nodding your head.

“It’s not fair, is it kitten?”

“No,” you whimpered.

“You give so much, aiming to please. Only for a man who doesn’t know how good he’s got it.”

“Harry…”

“I know, baby. Tell me how unfair it is. Tell me how angry you are.”

Furrowing your brows, you groaned and sped up the pace, riding Harry faster.

“Fuck yeah, babe. Take it all out on me. All your anger. Fuck me like you hate me.”

“I do.”

“Say it.”

“I hate you.”

The words burned your throat because although they weren’t meant for Harry, you definitely hated Luke. Harry was right. You’d given your ex everything and he hadn’t appreciated it. You let him hurt your feelings in public and then pretended it didn’t matter anymore when his dick was inside you. Fuck that. Fuck him!

As your thrusts quickened, so did your breaths. You moaned louder, though the tiny cries and whimpers were not near enough. Watching Harry as his chest and throat started to get red, his eyelids fluttering from pleasure, you wanted so badly to make him come. But your fury was taking over as well. Your head was spinning with so many thoughts, emotions and desires.

Harry squeezed your ass as he lifted you higher and bucked his hips hard. You cried out in pleasure and pain, reaching for the headboard that was too far away.

“Get up, baby,” Harry suddenly commanded, slapping your ass. “I want you on your knees.”

When you obliged, you made sure you scooted closer to the headboard this time in case you needed to hold on. You felt Harry run his hands up the back of your thighs, his rings chilling your flesh right before he reached underneath and pinched your clit. You cursed again, unable to see straight.

“I know, kitten,” he said. “You’re dripping all over me and my sheets. Do I need to make you come again?”

“Yes. Please.”

Slipping two fingers inside your pussy, Harry quickly pulled them out and put them in his mouth.

“So fucking good, baby.”

Before you could respond, Harry slapped your ass, taking you by surprise. You squealed and looked over your shoulder where he was knelt behind you with a dirty smirk. Shithead.

“Now, my kitten,” he said firmly, “I’m gonna bury my cock in that tight cunt again. And you’re gonna take it just like before. Alright?”

“Yes,” you nodded.

“Only this time I wanna hear everything. Tell me how much you hate me. How fucking good my cock feels, but you can’t stand me. I wanna hear you seething with anger. Got it?”

You nodded again, although you were unsure exactly what he meant. Surely he didn’t want you to pretend he was Luke. Perhaps he wanted you to use the anger to fuel the orgasm. 

Before you could think about it further, Harry did as he promised and slammed into your pussy over and over. The sting was so good, you nearly lost your balance, but Harry had a good grip on your waist.

“God, this ass,” he growled, slapping it again.

“Fuck you,” you cried, barely enough for Harry to hear. But he did.

“What was that, love?”

When you didn’t reply, he thrust harder. “Tell me!”

“Fuck you!”

“That’s it,” he acknowledged. “It’s so good, innit?”

“So good, Harry…I can’t…”

“Yes you can. Babe. Tell me you hate me.”

“I hate you,” you muttered.

“No, no. That won’t do,” he argued. You felt him lean forward, his stomach on our back. “I need to hear it. Louder.”

While it did feel so fucking good, your hatred was at its peak. You thought of all the shit you put up with from Luke…why did he hurt you like that? Why had he thought it was okay? What kind of fool did he think you were?

“I hate you!” you shouted, staring ahead at the headboard.

“I know you do,” said Harry, his voice even lower than usual.

Then he moaned, a deep, low, sexy moan that filled your senses. You could tell he was nearing his own climax. Your eyes began to burn as he reached for your clit again. You were so close, the orgasm sitting on the edge of the precipice. Oh God!

“Say it it again!”

With his finger on your cunt and his cock deep, the dam broke and you cried out in both pleasure and pain.

“I hate you! I fucking hate you, Luke!”

Time seemed to freeze as you glared straight ahead. Harry paused his thrusts, but his body still laid on top of yours.

“S-sorry.”

“S’okay, babe.”

“No, I- I didn’t mean to say that,” you croaked, tears spilling from your eyes.

“Hey. It’s okay. I told you to let out all your anger.”

You were silent for a bit, your body trembling as you felt his breaths on your shoulder. You wondered if he was going to move, figured he would after hearing you scream someone else’s name…even if it was tagged with hate.

“I’m…I’m really, sorry, Harry.”

“Baby. Please don’t be sorry. You released what you needed to. It’s okay.”

“O-okay…” you breathed, your throat sore.

“Do you need me to stop?”

“No,” you replied hastily. “You didn’t come yet, did you?”

“No, but it’s alright, I-”

“Harry. Don’t be silly. Keep fucking me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. It…feels amazing. You’re so good.”

You felt his body rise from yours, a slight sweaty stickiness as his chest separated from your back. When he ran his hands down your hips, you heard him moan again.

“You’re amazing too, babe,” he said, breathing heavily with each thrust. “Shit, I’m so close.”

When you felt his balls hit your pussy, you reached underneath and grabbed them, earning a loud groan from Harry.

“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna come,” he proclaimed.

Letting out a deep, guttural moan, Harry thrust a few more times until his body trembled and he let out long, slow breaths onto your back. Cursing again, he fell onto the bed beside you, pulling you against his chest.

Perhaps it was the memories flooding back, perhaps it was the way Harry held you with his sweaty arms that made you unable to breathe, or maybe it was because you’d fucking said your ex’s name as you came, but your eyes darted around the room, trying to decide your escape.

“I um…need to use the restroom,” you declared.

“Oh, sure babe.”

When he released you, you sped for the bathroom, shutting the door behind you. While washing up, you wondered why the hell you’d let this happen. You’d barely gotten over Luke’s hurt only for it to return again. You should have just stayed home tonight.

When you opened the door, Harry was still lying on the bed, naked, his head propped in his hand. Damn it.

“I should go,” you said, grabbing your discarded dress and panties from the floor.

“Why?”

“It’s late.”

“You can stay if you like.”

“No, I…should get home,” you declined.

“Oh. Well, let me get dressed and I’ll drive you,” Harry offered as he rose from the bed.

“Please. It’s fine. I’ll order an Uber.”

“Y/N, that’s ridiculous,” argued Harry. “I can take you.”

He slipped back into his pants, forgoing the briefs, but you were already at the door.

“It’s okay, really,” you insisted, pausing at the top of the stairs. “I just…I’m embarrassed, Harry. I’d really just like to be alone. I hope you understand.”

Making it to the living room where you’d left your bag, you noticed Harry had followed you. You quickly ordered an Uber on the app. When you turned, Harry wore a deep frown.

“Please don’t be embarrassed, Y/N. That was never my intention.”

“I know,” you confirmed, placing a hand on his chest for reassurance. Then you handed him your phone. “Here. Put your number in.”

Harry did as you asked, and when he handed it back, your fingers brushed.

“There, now you have mine,” you gave a tight smile after sending his number a text. When your phone pinged, you jumped. “Oh! There must have been a driver nearby. Goodnight, Harry.”

“It’s here already?”

“Just down the road. I’ll wait outside.”

“Babe,” he sighed.

You gave him a quick kiss, then a second.

“You’re lovely,” you whispered before leaving him standing in the middle of his luxurious living room.

If it had been a cab, you might have cried the whole way home. But seeing as it was an Uber and you were just sitting in the back of some guy’s car, you held the tears in. Stumbling up the stairs as if you were drunk, you tossed your bag on your nightstand and stepped out of your shoes. You’d just pulled on an oversized tee to sleep in when your phone rang in your purse. Seeing Harry’s number shouldn’t have startled you, but it did.

“Just wanted to make sure you got home okay,” he said when you answered.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.”

“Good. I know you wanna be alone, but I just wanted to say I um…I had a really good time with you, Y/N.”

“Me too.”

“I’m sorry I embarrassed you, love. I really am. I was hoping we could both just-”

“Harry,” you interrupted. “It’s okay. You didn’t embarrass me. I did it to myself.”

After a long sigh, Harry spoke again. “Um…listen, if you ever wanna do this again….if you need to get your anger out or you’re stressed or…” he paused with a sigh, “just wanna talk. Whatever…give me a ring.”

“Of course.”

“Take care, Y/N.”

“Harry…”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t hate you.”

“I know.”

“That was just…”

“I know, baby.”

You gave a soft hum of contentment. “Okay then. Goodnight, Harry.”

“Goodnight, kitten.

*dramatic music* What did you think?? Do we need more them? Don't be shy, leave all the comments you want :).

tagging: @kathb59 since you asked :)

[byz-was-here]

Because no one asked,

Here's how I would do a transformers series:

1) emphasize the disguise

They're robots in disguise. Its in the tagline. Make the bots and cons fight each other while trying not to be noticed.

Why would world conquering deceptions stoop to hiding from puny organics?

Easy. Skew the matchup. If its 8 billion nuclear armed monkeys vs 5-10 alien robots, even ol megsy ain't gonna take those odds.

The Autobots have an even easier reasoning: follow the prime directive.

2) Shipwreck everyone

Why can't the bots/cons just call for reinforcements?

They crash landed. That's why. Everyone's in stasis or injured. Callback to G1 where they spent 4 million years in sleep mode under a volcano. Maybe not *that* long but it would explain why no one noticed two alien starships smacking into the planet. No one was around to see it. Macguffin event happens, a couple bots and cons wake up, and they realize that a wholeass civilization popped up during their nap.

3) Civilian autobots

Why did they come to earth?

As is usually the go to answer: Cybertron's f*cked. Solution: Autobots dig out a *really* old and obscure planetary survey, find a decent enough planet, Optimus takes a bunch of scientists and engineers on a colony ship and they go off to found New Cybertron. Survey said the place was uninhabited, so it's free real estate. (Humans were probably still debating whether or not coming down from the trees and walking on 2 legs was a good idea when the Cybertronian scouts did the survey)

Soundwave does his soundwave thing, finds out, Megatron loads up a warship, and they shoot each other down on prehistoric earth. Meanwhile, a caveman named grug figures out mr fire is your friend.

Point is, you've got one side that's a bunch of scientists, engineers, and other civilians (The Autobots)

And the other that's almost all elite combat troops (the Decepticons)

But, because of the first two issues, the cons can't take advantage of it. Otherwise they alert the Humans and someone with an itchy trigger finger drops a thermonuclear warhead on the stranded nemesis.

And if a human does discover the Autobots? Imo a civilian is more likely to break the rules and play nice than a trained soldier.

4) nobody wants to stay here

The Autobots originally planned to colonize earth, sure. That was before they got shot down, locked into stasis for who knows how long, and woke up to see an entire sapient civilization spring up from nowhere during their nap.

Optimus is Optimus, so it's plan B: freedom is the right of sentient beings, so we fix the ark and found new Cybertron somewhere else. Ideally, the human race won't realize they were ever here.

The Deceptions only care about crushing the Autobots and getting off this corrosive rock. Unless they can call home and summon an armada, it's just not *worth it* to pick a fight with humanity.

6) things I'd like to see

-Skyfire/Jetfire

Jetfire being one of the scouts, getting frozen in a callback to G1, and being found and thawed by some human scientists. He's just living his best life in a hidden lab, and only mildly worried about why Cybertron isn't answering his calls. Oh hey Starscream! When did you get the tattoo? (It's a bad breakup)

-Swindle

Our dystopian capitalist nightmare is Swindle's daydream paradise. He absolutely loves earth. #1 fan. He probably makes connections to the mob. Good times.

-Nightbird

Local mechanized AI (or ghost in the shell cyborg) has an emotional crisis, joins the deceptions. Beats up any Cons that disrespect her. No notes.

-Dinobots

"Wheeljack, why do our new security drones look like...that?"

"So there's this earth movie called "Jurassic Park"..."

Later:

"Wheeljack?"

"Yes optimus?"

"What happened to the sparks that we had in stasis?"

***Tyrannosaurs roar*** Me Grimlock Smash! (Panicked Decepticon screaming)

"Never mind, I think I figured it out."

-one sane adult human

Obvs theres a couple teens who pal around with the Autobots. There should be at least ONE adult in their early 20s as part of the group who's forced, however unwilling, to be the sole voice of reason. Aka: "I'M NOT TELLING YOUR PARENTS YOU GOT SQUISHED SNEAKING INTO AN EVIL ROBOT SPACESHIP"

"Then who's gonna pull off the rescue?"

"I AM!" (They instantly regret this decision, but They're at least old enough to make it)

-Shockwave as a late series villain

Shockwave has had command of the Decepticons ever since Megatron's Ill fated disappearance chasing after the Autobot Ark.

Having him return and upset Shockwave's centuries of effort holding onto the planets in the Deception Empire would be... Unfortunate. Perhaps it would be better if he stayed dead.... It's only logical.

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

The Divine Feminine II - Welcome to Hell (Sneak Peek)

Guuuuuys I was supposed to post this for Halloween but could not finish it since I had a busy weekend and then a busy workday today! However, here is a sneak peek! Hopefully I can finish writing it in the next few days and post it all!

Read: The Divine Feminine** - Amidst his sadness after his wife leaves the Underworld, Hades (Harry) encounters a human woman who brings him to his knees.

No warnings for the sneak peek:)

WC: 1.1k

“You’re everything.” He mumbled against her ear and she tangled their fingers together, “Wish you could be with me forever.” He sighed.

This made her smile. Y/N had never really felt like she had a place in the world. She had always struggled to fit in, to find a place in it where she felt like belonged completely, maybe she wasn’t meant for this earth? But she had no idea what Harry’s world was like. She was curious, but she also realized that in order to be down there she’d have to die and she didn’t want to die. Not yet at least. There were so many things that she still wanted to do and experience…like tornado chase, travel to Europe, or see her favorite band live at least once. As much as she had grown to love him, he was Hades. He transcended time, he was the god of the underworld. He was the ruler of the afterlife, the highest judge in the universe, at the end of their life every single being answered to him for the way they’d spent their time. He was justice. He was vengeance. He was a god. It baffled her that a being as simple and fragile as her could even catch his eye.

“You shouldn’t think so highly of me, love.” He spoke quietly and she smiled.

“And why not?” She inquired.

“You’ll make me too arrogant.” 

“As if you needed any help with that.” She quipped with a grin and he swatted the side of her thigh quickly and she giggled. "You should stop hearing my thoughts." she reminded him.

“I want to show you my world. Everything that I can offer you whenever you’re ready to join me.” He said, completely ignoring her little reminder because of course he was going to continue reading her thoughts.

“What if I’m old and gray by then?” She questioned and he squeezed her tighter.

“I can become old and gray too or restore you to whatever age you desire to be.” He said and she hummed.

“That’s fascinating.”

“It is.” He agreed, “You know, there’s…a spell that can grant you temporary immortality. I could learn more about it and perform it on you, that way you can see everything there is to see.”

“Hmmm… a vacation to hell? Sounds nice.” She said teasingly and he chuckled and kissed her bare shoulder.

“S’paradise too, you know?” He said.

“I thought that was Olympus.”

“No, that’s where most of the other deities live.” He explained and she hummed in understanding.

“Is it dangerous? The spell?” She asked.

“I don’t know, I’ll have to consult Hecate, she’s one of the goddesses that also dwells in the underworld. That’s her area. We can weigh out the pros and cons together.”

“Alright, it’s worth looking into I think.” She decided, “And what about your wife? The first day of Autumn is just two days away.” She pointed out and he hummed.

“I’ll talk to her. Tell her about you. I think she’ll be glad that I’ve found someone other than her to keep me happy.” 

***********

Every time Persephone made her descent back to the realm of the Underworld Hades would throw a bash for her. It was an absolute lavish feast and everyone was a huge part of it, Admittedly, Hades had been very distracted with his favorite, little human so he only had two days to plan this feast whereas before he encountered Y/N, he’d begin planning at least a month in advance.  As soon as Hades arrived back in his realm one of his fellow deities conjured themselves.

“Are we having the feast or not?” Thanatos asked.

“Yes. I know I’ve been gone a lot-”

“Don’t worry, we’ve got it. The dead remain dead, all is in order.” He assured his friend and Hades smiled.

“Thank you.”

“You deserve this. You never have your fun.” He said and Hades chuckled.

“Let’s ummm, make this feast more intimate, yeah?”

“Alright.”

“And ummm, let’s search through Elysium and the Meadows for some musicians. Just the better ones.” Hades said and Thanatos nodded.

“Nyx and Erebos did start setting up the great hall in their home a few days ago.”

“And your brother?”

“Wandering about the world. After you were gone more than a week he also took a leave. We shouldn’t count on him for any of this.” Thanatos said of Hypnos.

“Alright, fair enough.” Hades chuckled.

“I must tell you, Persephone is a bit…unsettled.” Thanatos warned. 

“Why?”

“Hecate overheard Eros bragging about “striking the ruler of the underworld with his arrow to fall in love with a human”. Boastful little prick…” he huffed and Hades sighed, “Ever eager to gossip, Hecate mentioned this to Persephone, or so I’ve been told by Hermes.” Thanatos explained.

“Unbelievable.”

“I told them it was just Eros being a prick. We all know how bitter he still is over Persephone’s rejection all those millennia ago…” 

“Can I be honest?” Hades said and Thanatos nodded.

“Of course.”

“He’s not just being a boastful prick…I think he succeeded.” Thanatos was shocked to hear this. 

Anyone who knew the pair knew that the one with an unwavering and undying devotion in this marriage was Hades. He never even thought to gaze upon another being. And anyone who knew Persephone knew that despite her mostly pleasant and benevolent manner, she had inherited the jealously and wrath of her father, Zeus. She could be cold and senseless in her wrath. Hades knew this and it worried him for Y/N.

“If what you say is true then your human is in danger.” Thanatos said solemnly.

**********

Hades had been unsettled after his conversation with Thanatos. He had mentioned to Y/N that he would be rather busy until Persephone’s return and she fully understood this, but he needed someone to protect her from any possible attacks that his wife might hurl at the unsuspecting and fragile human who had his heart. 

Typically he would call on his own wife or Hecate when something or something required the utmost protection, but these two were the ones who’d been consorting all summer long and likely had turned against him to some extent. Persephone was reasonable, maybe he could convince her to not harm Y/N. But what worried him was that she was all alone on earth without anyone there to guard her. Hades wasn’t all that excellent in his practice of spells, but he did find himself at his altar, performing a spell for Soteria - the spirit of deliverance and protection - for Y/N. Being Hades, the spirit realm was always more susceptible to his wishes. And it gave him peace to know that his offering was accepted. 

[pastafossa]

The last day of 2023.

And holy shit has it been a chaotic ride, one which you all shared with me, or that's what it feels like!

The Major Moments:

Feb: Cato's cancer diagnosis and discovery of weird mutated cells that likely won't be explained until after he passes away. He's still with me, fortunately! No idea how much time he has left but I'm grateful for every second

April: a small leak in my dining room ceiling turned into a bigger leak which turned into a massive hole in the ceiling, at least it wasn't winter???

May: DD Born Again Photos give us all a goddamn heart attack

May: I FUCKING REACH MY OVERALL 1,000,000 WORD COUNT ON AO3. 🎊 🎉 🎊 Next stop is 1mill for TRT!

June: Went to my first con since Covid! Drove all the way down to Philly to see Charlie Cox, WHICH WAS FUCKING AMAZING, HE HELD THE RED THREAD FOR OUR PHOTO, MY FANFIC DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE, AND I TOLD HIM WHAT DD MEANS TO ME AND HE WAS SO NICE I COULD CRY

June: At that same con, I finally FINALLY got to meet my bff @wonderlandmind4 in person after many many many late nights of chatting, and we just CLICKED like we'd been friends for years, which I should have expected, but still! And then I got to meet a bunch of my readers, too! Best con experience EVER

July: enter Whoops Covid Finally Got Me After 3 Years But Charlie Was Worth It ™

July: Finally dusted off my draft of Pasta's First Dark Fic cause even if my brain was too fuzzy to write, I figured I could edit a bit. And I did! And was pretty happy with the results!

August: Shit Now There's A Long Covid Heart Issue And I Can't Be Seen Until Late November Thanks Covid ®

August: leak in the garage leads to me losing about 65% of all the beautiful, special woods pieces I'd gathered over the course of six years for carving. Within a week I am gifted a huge bin of wood from a kind soul at my local witchy shop

Sept: TRT's 6th anniversary!

Nov: I was slowly getting back into the swing of things, doing a bit of writing in between learning to manage whatever was going on with my heart (which we'll hopefully figure out in January when I get all the results of testing in Jan)

Early Dec, and the worst week of my life: mom got sick. Within one day she went from not feeling good to needing an ambulance. By the next day, she was in the ICU - flu induced double pneumonia that was interfering with her breathing and heart issues. And with one more day, she was put into an induced coma and ventilated, without any of us sure if she'd pull through. They told us she'd likely be under for two weeks, potentially longer even if she made it. The amount of messages and supportive comments I got from all of you, the talks I had with @wonderlandmind4 and @shouldbestudying41, just the general sense of having a community to help me means more than I can ever say as you all helped me through that terrible, horrible moment, even if it was just gently messaging me to remind me to try to eat.

Mid Dec: against ALL odds, Mom was off the ventilator in a week. By week 2, she was out of the ICU. By week 3? Off to the physical rehab center. She was there a grand total of 1 week before she was allowed to come home to finish her recovery. Early December was the worst moment of my life, and yet it was also bookended by the best Christmas of my life even if it was spent at the rehab center, because I got to have my mama back, and hug her and tell her I loved her and make jokes, and now she's home and we've been watching Christmas movies and eating grilled cheeses, and as far as I'm concerned, that's what the holiday is to me: not presents and snow and lights, but this moment, this time with her. 'In all the places you find love, it feels like Christmas.'

In just a few hours for me, it'll be 2024. I have no idea what to expect going forward, or even what to plan for, much less a resolution. I know I want to get back to TRT when mom's a bit better (she still needs a lot of help, understandably). I know there are wood carvings I want make; friends I want to visit; witchy events at my local shop I want to go to. But other than that... who knows? If I'm lucky, things will be calmer than this past year. But even if they aren't, at least I know I have dear friends, all of you, and my family, including Pasta Mama, to help me through it.

Goodbye, 2023. Hello, 2024.

[mekatrio]

anime con log diary whatever

the epic outfit for today:

thankfully no traffic so that was epic. i was there pretty early (10:30-ish) so it was easy to find parking. got lost in the mall for like ten minutes until me and friend found some staff members for the con, and they showed us the way. the entrance was rly out of the way lol, usually theres two point of entries, but one was out of service. u had to follow a rly specific path to get there. there were also a bunch of buddha statues near the entrance stairway?

idk what was up with that. anyways since we were early there was no queue for us to get in. very nice. also its the weekday so i heard that theres significantly less ppl here today than there'll be the next two days. also very nice.

several booths were still being set up while we walked around. we checked out the official vendors first before checking out the artist alley, which was the main reason we were there. immediately my friend finds and starts buying some hoyoverse merch. i check the booths out w her for a while and then i get myself a green tea latte. then we check out the goodsmile booth and i find these

very cool but i do not get them, bc 1.) expensive, and 2.) i do not like plastic figurines. i also stop my friend from buying a persona 5 joker figurine. she goes and buy some more hoyoverse stuff instead. then we go check out the artist alley... and then friend realizes she left her water bottle somewhere. and as per usual with the cons i go to w her, we are seperated. and then we meet up again, but not before i buy two epic items:

i am sooo happy w these two purchases 💜 they were the only ones of their kind, so im glad i got them when i did. the gengar plush will live on my purple bag and be gomamons new neighbor, like so:

^ this was also how my bag looked for the rest of the day 🤭 yayyyy 💞 anyways after looking thru the artist alley some more, we take a break to get some food. cuz we barely had anything for breakfast and we are fucking starving. the food area looks like this:

and everything there was unsurprisingly expensive lol. me and friend get the cheapest thing there, which are pizzas

tho im kinda starting feeling nauseous at this point.. and have to keep myself from throwing up. thats what happens when u take supplements + drive + drink a green tea latte on a nearly empty stomach and little sleep. dont do that. so i go to the bathroom and freshen up, and eventually i feel better. i eat three slices of pizza and give the last slice to friend, and sadly have to throw away the rest of the latte or i would feel sick again. but i feel way better now that ive eaten.

we then spend the next two hours going thru the rest of the artist alley. me and my friend joked abt the possibility of finding at least 1 (one) kgpr merch. or possibly tota merch. but unsurprisingly, there was absolutely none Lol. tho i did find vesperia merch instead

literally only one booth was selling vesperia merch haha. also surprisingly there were quite a few ace attorney merchs? its surprising to me cuz the last art event i went to only had one narumitsu sticker in the entire place. but here there were several

^like this artist, who i didnt know was based in malaysia! ive seen their comics on tumblr a few times. didnt buy from them tho, sorryyy.. anyways, various pics from the artist alley:

after we finished looking thru the artist alley and had bought our fill of art (and good god did my friend buy loads of art), i checked out a second hand vendor that i saw earlier. they had loadssss of stuff, and me and friend spent a good 15 minutes digging thru this massive tub of pins and keychains in hopes of finding smth good

i was rly hoping to find something tota or kgpr in here, cuz if they were anywhere in this convention they would be here.. but sadly there was none haha. it was rly funny digging thru this thing, i kinda felt like a racoon/archeologist. oh but i did find these two pins which made me laugh

and in the end i found and bought a bunch of revue starlight merch + a cute embroidered pin

and then after that we finally left the con.. we spent a good 5 hours in there. we went to a store for me to grab some stuff for home, then played 2 rounds of taiko hehe (6 songs total). then we went to grab some food

^ the mall the convention is in also has a fucking river flowing thru it lol. i remember seeing this as a kid, its been over ten years since ive last been here

then i drove my friend home in ATROCIOUS weather... omfg it was raining so heavily. and stupid navigation app sent me to drive on some nearly flooded roads 😑😑😑😑 but we made it in one piece and i chilled in her room for a bit. she took a pic of everything she brought... which was SO MUCH LOL

^her haul. and then finally i arrived back home.. here is my comparatively much smaller haul:

but yayy it was a fun day today ✌️ but now i have work tomorrow.. bahhhh

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5

Episode 5: The Great Cactus Con (SMUT)

*MIS AMIGOS. THE TIME HAS COME. FIRST SMUT OF THE BOOK. I will warn you now as in this is your warning, heed it and skip, or proceed. things get filthy (really filthy with lots of bad words) from here until the next warning. you have been warned, now let the sin begin!*

Daybreak. Saturday. The most peaceful time in the Man Cave for its resident couple. Morning meant warmth, safety and time spent together, the total opposite of what they experienced outside the four walls of their bedroom—chaos, responsibility and stress. 

No, in their room, mornings always brought peace, a chance for them to catch a break and just be a normal couple before they had to be superheroes again. It was why they liked them so much and why they were treated and valued more carefully than gold dust. No one dared to enter the lovers' bedroom before noon and for good reason. When they said "be like a normal couple", they meant it and not Henry or Charlotte or Jasper or even Schwoz with his lack of social skills wanted to intrude on that.

(y/n) woke gently, which was another bonus to add to the pile of reasons why she and her fiancé adored the early hours. Their lives were often so hectic and dangerous that being able to do something gently, naturally and without urgency was nice—being able to slowly but surely open her eyes to the darkness of the room was nice. No rush, no shouting, no scrambling to get dressed, just tranquillity and warmth. 

And that's how she stayed for a while, not wanting to move or wake up yet because everything was so cosy and comfy and safe with her sweetheart's arms around her waist and back as she snuggled her face into his chest, which had always been infinitely better than any pillow she'd come across. Ray's soft breaths and gentle snores were a regular rhythm in her hair as her body gradually adjusted to being awake. 

First, things around the room started to become more apparent, like the almost inaudible hum of the various electronic appliances around the room or how the lights were still set to brighten over the next hour or two. 

Next, her eyes cracked open properly to see what was what. Yep, everything was as it had been when they'd fallen asleep last night; the world kept spinning but for them, things stayed the same. And finally, last but not least, her muscles started to stretch, pop and contract as they prepared for another day of mayhem. 

Today would bring excitement, no doubt; there was a convention in town, one of the most popular for the people of Swellview and the Man Cave team were adamant that they should secure tickets to attend. That was part one. 

Part two would come later since (y/n) had kindly volunteered to help Charlotte with her dress. Well, it wasn't her dress, but she and some friend of hers had designed it because Piper was the convention's queen or something. The design was beautiful, flawless, so breathtakingly beautiful that when asked, the woman couldn't help but offer her services since the girls could draw and source materials but not sew, and a dress without stitches was just a mess. 

So, her afternoon would be dedicated to adding the finishing touches to the gown ready for what was known as Cactus Con, just the last few alterations so the waist wasn't too loose, the skirt wasn't too long and they couldn't forget the sash. It made the outfit complete. 

But. And it was a big but. Right now, the thought of getting out of bed seemed...revolting. Everything was so perfect and even though her body said yes, her mind said no to getting up, even if she had duties to attend to in a few hours. Staying in Ray's embrace was much more inviting, so she tangled her legs into his more and wriggled deeper into his hold, which produced an unexpected reaction. 

The friction caused by her thin, delicate pyjamas rubbing against his skin, and possibly her lips brushing against his chest for just a moment, drew a groan from the hero that had his sweet girl frozen, especially when his hips flexed to roll into hers. It wasn't just a grumble from sleep or him trying to get comfortable after sleeping in the same position too long, no, she knew what that sounded like. And she knew what this sounded like. 

A million thoughts flashed through her mind as all of her suspicions were confirmed when Ray's hold on her waist tightened and pushed her core further towards his body, where their hips slotted together with one leg over his body and her head tucked into his neck. Breathy pants and whines left his lips as his nose buried into her hair and his hardening cock pressed against her clit. Right, it was pretty obvious what was happening in that filthy little mind of his. 

Shock turned into a devious smirk on her face as he clung to her and unwittingly used her body for his own pleasure, each gentle, stuttered grind of his cock into her had her desire growing until her bottom lip was tugged between her lips and her hands were unable to stop themselves from wandering his chest. 

It seemed cruel to wake him up from what sounded and felt like such a good dream and she couldn't help but wonder what he was seeing in his mind. Was it as sinful as his clumsy, twitchy thrusts and breathless groans would suggest? Did it have a solo role or did he have someone else starring? If so, who? 

"F-fuck...tha—that's it, sw-sweet g-girl. Rig—right there..." Well, the mystery was solved. Had she not been listening with intense concentration, avidly loving every sound and motion he made, (y/n) would've missed the shaky, broken words Ray panted out with no knowledge that he was doing so. Her ears caught the needy groan of his favourite name for her and instantly, her pussy clenched around nothing, her heart pounding when she realised that even in his dreams, he wanted her. 

Such a good boy, dreaming and getting off on the thought of her body and all the times they'd fucked, the need to reward him was overwhelming but that presented its own challenges. (y/n) had an idea of what she'd like to try, it was bold, risky and filthy even by her standards but the thought of her lover's reaction spurred her on anyway, making her ponder her first move with a bitten lip as his cock slid against her clothed cunt. 

Normally, it was difficult enough getting free from his arms when he wasn't dry-humping her, but the added iron grip of his embrace and how her body leaving his would surely wake him up—a complete disaster if she'd ever thought of one—this was gonna be tricky. How to get free without waking him up and ruining the game before she'd even had a chance to play with him? 

Okay, first things first: legs. Slowly, without any hurry at all since the odd bump might just disrupt that hot dream of his, (y/n) shifted her ass backwards and gently removed the leg that had been slung over his waist. It was such a shame to lose the friction she so desperately craved and Ray seemed to notice too as he started whining from the loss of familiar heat but it wouldn't be for long. By her calculations, he'd enjoy what her impish mind had come up with. 

Despite her doofus briefly recognising that something had changed around his physical body, he didn't stir to the point of consciousness, causing his girl to release a sigh of relief as she moved on to the next step. The arms around her body. 

To say he was asleep and lost in a world of velvet walls and gentle lovemaking, Ray's grip as he held onto his fiancée was surprisingly strong as if losing the scent of her shampoo and the warmth of her form against his would ruin the façade. That was duly noted by (y/n) as she held her breath and carefully enclosed her hand around his wrist. 

No sudden movements, she gave him time to adjust to the feeling for a moment since this stage was crucial and when his breathing returned to grunts and moans again, she started to move. As gently as possible, she pushed the arm back across his tensed abs and onto the bed, where it immediately begin harshly fisting the sheets instead of loosely pawing at her back. Next, came the second arm, which required more attention since she'd have to sit up and inch away from it as it curled underneath her body and around to her rib cage. Easy does it. 

The hero sensed the movement this time; his muscles tensed and after his soulmate's skin left him, he was instantly jerking and twitching as if he was searching for her, making (y/n) smile softly as his right arm fell back to the bed too. This was perfect, thank god he was a heavy sleeper because now, she had him exactly how she wanted him; on his back, hips grinding into the air and his legs spread just wide enough for one devious girl to slide in between after she pulled the blankets back. 

He might have shivered at the loss of warmth and comfort but honestly, (y/n) wasn't sure if that was down to him experiencing the aftershocks of a particularly spicy moment with dream her or his skin prickling at the inrush of air. Probably the first, in her mind the room was cold at all, rather, it was stiflingly hot as she used every ounce of grace and stealth gifted to Miss Danger to settle calmly and quietly halfway down the bed. 

And for a good few minutes, she stayed like that, wanting to let the electric atmosphere settle for a moment because very quickly, she'd gone from being sleepy to shocked to horny to between her future husband's legs in a matter of seconds. 

The last thing she wanted was to carelessly wake him up after coming so far and no doubt if he looked down now, she'd have a lot of bashful explaining to do about why she was eying his half-hard cock as it swelled against his underwear. But of course, she didn't want to wait too long because, with every passing millisecond, it became more and more likely that Ray would open his eyes with the dream finished and her plan in tatters, so she broke her frozen state. 

Another tricky part would be pulling down his briefs to reveal that gorgeous fucking cock she knew was there—just enough to free him but not enough to be too much of a sensation. 

But first, came something else. (y/n) couldn't help herself, not when the thought of having him in her mouth entered her mind and made her drool. It couldn't hurt, not really, so nothing stopped her when her lips met with his throbbing member and began to trail open-mouthed kisses down the underside. 

The more she worshipped him through the thin cotton, the more pleased she grew with herself as his cock hardened further under her ministrations until it was rock solid and bobbing against the fabric. To her filthy delight, his tip leaked a small wet spot onto the front that she didn't hesitate to kitten lick with her darkened eyes trained on his face, which was contorted in pleasure as his chest heaved. Oh, how much fun could a girl have?

"M-mine, all mine. T-tight, so t-tight too. Pre—pretty girl."

Satisfied that he'd suffered enough torture in the form of feeling the light pressure of her lips, she brought her hands to the waistband of his black boxers and pinched the elastic between her fingertips. It wasn't easy but by no means did she want the fabric to catch any patch of skin as she pulled them to his thighs - the only sensation he'd be feeling running across the soft flesh of his cock would be her mouth. Just softness and warmth, nothing rough, not this morning. That's why she wouldn't use her hands until the very last minute. 

The band pulled back to release his glorious cock in the dim light of the room and she left the material just under his heavy balls that looked tight from his impending release and instinctively, her tongue poked out at the thought of finally tasting him. 

Nothing extreme. Not yet. The first few licks were delicate and timid like (y/n) was testing the waters as she kept her eyes fixated on his expressions, watching as his breathing hitched when she dipped into his slit. The tip of her tongue ran everywhere—across his head, across the pulsating vein that ran underneath and across the crevice that was the beginning of the soft stretch of skin that led to his tense sacks, ready to pump his load to whatever was waiting for it and she was determined for that whatever to be her tongue. 

Mornings were good because they felt like they had all the time in the world to do whatever they wanted, so (y/n) was in no hurry as her wet muscle toyed with him for what felt like hours, just savouring a taste that could only be described as purely Ray; gentle, clean like soap, slightly salty but strangely addictive as her movements grew bolder and his pants grew to whiny moans. 

For the first time, her tongue ran down the side of his cock fully, bathing it in saliva as she went from tip to base and back up. The gasp that tore from his throat shot straight to her needy pussy which was desperate to be filled by the thickness that was edging its way into her mouth but she ignored it and satiated it by pressing her clit into the comforter for a sliver of friction. What was more important was admiring his eyebrows furrow and his jaw falling open as she invited his flared head into her hot cavern and kept it there. 

"(y-y/n), s-sweet girl, yeah, t-that's it, cum around me," 

The peril was worth it to see how a god of a man was brought to his knees by the touch of a mere mortal wanting to please him; Ray was damp from his forehead to his chest with a sheen of sweat, which caused that floppy brown hair of his to stick to his skin as he was willingly dragged to hell and back, his dream feeling more and more like reality as he imagined a beauty fucking herself on his cock as he called her his wife, his beautiful, perfect, fucking cock-hungry wife. 

Fuck, each swivel of her hips was cruelty and mercy wrapped into one as he swore that his mind never usually created something so accurate but he didn't complain or question it, not when the heat spread through his loins. His gripping of his girl's hips was actually him clutching the sheets between white knuckles as (y/n) ran her tongue along his slit and under that crevice, suckling gently as his abs tensed and clenched. 

She knew the signs of him getting close and for the last few moments of this, she wanted to go from gently guiding him to the edge to throwing him over with no mercy. So, in a move that may have been too much for some, she swallowed his length, taking as much of him into her mouth as she could until he hit her soft palate. No matter how much she resisted or tried to train herself not to, she gagged at the unwanted intrusion and pulled back with a gasp that sent tingles up Ray's spine. He stirred but didn't wake. Thank god for that. 

Knowing she'd have to be more careful at first, (y/n) dipped her head again, going as low as she could until she'd reached her limit, where she'd wrapped her tongue around his shaft so her spit drenched and pooled at the bottom of his cock where the soft skin of his balls was still tempting her. 

Fuck it, she just couldn't resist. Finally, as she picked up the speed of how she bobbed her head, Ray's moans and groans quickened in a crescendo, and her hand snaked from where it had been patiently braced against the mattress and she tenderly gripped him at the base as her lips wandered to suck one into her mouth. That drew a strong reaction from her doofus as he thrust upwards and into her hand as the slurred mumblings started again. 

"F-fuck me s-soo—good, b-baby. S-shit, your pussy is a-a-always so t-tight," he stammered into the pillow, causing the girl running her hand over his chiselled torso to smirk. Oh, if only she could give that to him now, but that would be too risky. He'd have to settle for her final move because there was no way she wasn't going to have his cum down her throat after all of this work, so her lips returned to his head. 

She whined around him when a spurt of precum hit her tastebuds, a glimpse of what she was set to receive soon as she upped her game. Her bobbing grew faster as her hand left his stomach to roll his balls between her fingers and on each rise, her teeth scraped against his sensitive skin, meaning she had to take the rough thrusts his hips gave as he fucked her mouth. Still, given the way she was dripping, leaking, creaming in those brief pyjama shorts as she ground her clit into whatever was underneath her, she didn't mind. She loved it. 

And finally, as his abs crunched and became sculpted in the dim light, her hand left his balls too and returned to the base of his cock where she pumped what wouldn't fit in her mouth. The vibrating hum of the high-pitched moan that left her as her throbbing bud caught the edge of the comforter was enough to shove him over the edge as his body froze and then relaxed. 

Peace settled between them for a split second before Ray came hard in her mouth, panting and gasping for air as his eyes flew open in time to experience the most gut-wrenching pleasure and (y/n) grinned at the wrecked sight of him as she happily swallowed the salty, pearly essence that hit the back of her throat. 

"Wha—I—fuuuuuck, shit, fuck, sweet girl—what are you—fuuuuck." Ray groaned and gasped through his bewildered state, pulling his chin to his chest to see the hottest sight he'd ever come across, filthier than anything he could've thought of. What had been his mind's invention of him fucking his newly-wedded wife in a honeymoon suite in Hawaii had actually been his dirty little fiancée suckling on his cock for the past however long it had been and god, she made a stunning sight. 

His cock wedged in her throat, nipples pebbled against that tight cotton shirt she was wearing as her hips ground for any friction she could find like some needy slut and her dilated pupils stayed trained on him, even when he started to soften in her mouth. 

Ray watched silently as she kept his cock in her mouth for as long as possible, teasing him by running her tongue across the sensitive frenulum and giggling when he jolted at the sharp sensation that ran up his spine. He was indulging her, (y/n) knew that; he could've easily pulled her off and saved himself from the torture but he didn't. He allowed her to stay where she was happy and where she could lick the last remnants of his cum from his head as it clung to her throat. 

Still, he couldn't hold out forever and even when she swore that he hardened in her mouth again when she gave him a gentle suck, Ray couldn't go again. So, his hand wound its way from her hair and down to her jaw where he pulled her off, groaning when he lost the warmth and saw her deviously licking her lips. Dirty girl. 

"Up." Was the only instruction he gave her as the hand that cradled her mouth open gripped her arm and yanked her trembling frame to his sticky, broad chest, where his awaiting arms quickly secured her soft figure against his naked one. 

"Morning..." (y/n) whispered smugly into his ear, which ended in her breath hitching when his leg bent to bring his thigh to her core. The pressure was heavenly and he growled lowly in his throat at the sound of her whine when a heavy arm draped across her hips to stop them from dragging her clit across the taut muscles there. 

"Sweet girl, you're gonna be the death of me, you needy little thing," he grumbled into her ear, although there was no hint of malice, just a dozing satisfaction that came from being woken by a vixen fucking him with her mouth and having his cum poured down her throat. 

"You enjoyed it, though. You couldn't stop saying my name as you fucked me in your sleep," (y/n) replied with a proud grin, feeling her core clench around nothing again when she recalled how needy and submissive he sounded when he rocked his clothed cock into her ass for the slightest bit of relief. 

"That's because I had these—" he gave a harsh pinch to her nipple through the cotton shirt, which pulled a squeal from her throat, "—perfect tits in my face and this—" he stopped again to swiftly slap her ass and grab at the pliable flesh there, "—perfect ass bouncing on my cock." Ray grunted as her hips rolled against his strong thigh just once, but the moan that fell from her lips was enough to leave him hungering for more. 

"You sounded so hot. I couldn't help but suck on your cock for a little bit when you started rutting against me. I needed your cum on my tongue."

"I wanted to fuck you this morning—wanted to see your tight little pussy struggle to take my cock but now I can't," Ray smirked when she jutted against his thigh again at the filth leaving his mouth, and suddenly, he was struck with an idea of his own. 

He couldn't say that she'd misbehaved by waking him up with her mouth, neither could he say that he was angry at having the image of her faux-innocent eyes looking up at him as he split her lips open, but he had fallen asleep last night with a semi after seeing her waltz around in those fucking ridiculous shorts. They were probably the cause of the dream and he'd been wanting to pin her down and pound into her until she could only say his name. Still, he could be flexible and there was no doubt that he wasn't going to enjoy this.

"I'm sorry, Captain, I didn't--" (y/n) squeaked, offering a pathetic apology as she failed to hold back the need to rub her clothed cunt up and down his thigh, the friction of her soaked shorts against her clit causing her to mewl as Ray looked up with a wolfish grin. He didn't even need to try, his sweet girl just knew what he wanted anyway.

"Yes, you did. You couldn't wait to have my cock inside you so you decided to swallow my cum instead, just like how you can't help but grind your sweet pussy against my thigh now," He whispered hotly as her movements picked up, his hands moving to grip her hips and aid her rocking as she whimpered against the skin of his chest. Fuck, she was so desperate, bucking and grinding to try and find the best angle as he set the nice, not too fast but not too gentle, just hard enough so he could feel her slick leak onto his thigh.

"Fuck, Ray, feels--feels so good..." She moaned breathlessly, hanging her head as he guided her lower half in a way that wasn't frantic enough for her as her core quivered and begged to be stuffed with something, but she guessed that it was part of his game, his fun. She could feel her orgasm coming, slowly and gently but ferociously too and by keeping her steady, Ray was dragging out like only he could - the man who'd had the pleasure of making her fall apart by his hand only thousands of times.

"Yeah, you like that, baby? You like riding my thigh?" He got his answer with the weak nod and whimper she gave him as her eyes screwed shut and she doubled her efforts, seeking the high that would surely burn and consume her if she didn't find it. Ray wasn't a man to leave her hanging either and after having the pleasure of shooting his load down her throat, he wanted to make sure he got her off properly.

His muscles purposefully tensed between her legs, turning soft, pliant flesh into a rock-hard surface gained after years of working in the gym and that's when (y/n) lost it. He had the perfect amount of muscle for her use and her clit throbbed as it brushed against the new hardness, as well as his cock as it started to spring to life again after seeing a goddess above him for real this time.

"Shit, I can feel the mess you're making for me on my thigh, sweet girl, it's so fucking hot. Take that shirt off for me, let me see those perfect tits," Ray ordered her and without a second thought, (y/n) grabbed the hem and yanked the offending garment over her head and tossed it to some unknown corner of the room, leaving her in nothing but those drenched shorts that were absolutely staying. 

They made her ass look so round and perfect as her now free chest heaved and shone with perspiration, causing her lover to lift one of his hands to squeeze and toy with her pert nipples.

The heroine threw her head back as he enjoyed the weight of her breasts in his hand, switching between either one as she rocked harder and harder, feeling that familiar lightning creep up her spine and tighten her core.

"I want to cum, Ray, I w-wanna cum so badly, c-can I?" She asked with a whimper, feeling his now solid member dip against her slit every time her hips moved forward, and it was enough to bring her to the edge, but she wouldn't fall without asking first. She was his perfect little girl after all.

"Course, you can, sweet girl. Go on, soak your shorts and my thigh, get that pussy nice and tight and wet for me to slide in," Ray swallowed the lump in his throat as she ground harshly against her leg, biting her lip so hard it could bleed as his hold left her hips entirely to grasp the base of his cock and slot it between her legs. She was free to set the pace as she wanted it--hard and fast--as the feeling of having the bulbous head press against her clit and entrance only to be stopped by her ruined cotton briefs pushed her over the edge.

"F-fuck, fuuuck, Raaaaay---" (y/n) wailed as her hips stilled with his cock lodged against her clit, causing it to pulse and throb as the pleasure washed over her. She collapsed and folded over his chest, falling into his waiting arms as she kept him nestled between her thighs as she recovered from the intense high, shivering and shaking when one of his arms curled around her back and the other let his hand rest on her ass. 

They stayed quiet for a moment and listened to her unsteady pants as her heart slowed down and the sweet feeling in her core started to burn again when she realised that he was hard again beneath her, but he was just waiting for her to go again. There was no way he wasn't gonna press his cock into her pussy after getting it ready with one orgasm, he knew that she had at least another two in her after this and he intended to have her screaming his name so loud the soundproof walls would be put to the test. That sounded like her kind of fun.

"Ray?"

"Yeah, sweet girl?" The man grunted when she flexed her hips and "accidentally" pushed her soaked shorts further against his cock, but he didn't say anything, just pressed his lips to her damp hairline as he swallowed his lust and tucked her head into the crook of his neck. 

Just because he had the overwhelming urge to fuck her into the mattress didn't mean he was gonna just yet, he always made sure she was ready for it before diving in--his needs didn't matter. Well, to him they didn't but for (y/n), the amount of time between her cumming and being ready for the pounding of a lifetime was surprisingly brief as she felt her cunt clench at the thought of being stretched open. Enough tenderness, she needed more.

"Will you fuck me now?" And that was an offer he couldn't refuse. Thank god that the tickets for Cactus Con didn't go on sale for another few hours.

~

*AND WE'RE BACK. HOPE YOU ENJOYED THAT COS I DID. apologies to the pure ones but y'know, gotta give the people (myself) what they want. ONWARDS WITH THE EPISODE!*

This was shaping up to be a great day and not only that, but it promised to be quite an eventful one too. Ray and (y/n) rolled out of bed eventually, feeling pretty satisfied with their "alone time" for now and after clumsy getting dressed in between a few breaks to make out and just...talk, they waltzed into the main room of the Man Cave. 

That was where they found that Charlotte and Henry, being the diligent workers they were, had already clocked in for that bright, sunny Saturday morning, probably because the early bird always catches tickets for Cactus Con.

A reminder about the countdown to the release of the tickets for such a prestigious event was enough to make the couple gasp and excitedly shuffle to the couch where the teens had already sat down. Their phones were at the ready and constantly refreshing the page to see if it was time to start scrambling for five tickets to the event, one for everyone who wanted to go, which included Ray and (y/n), who had been planning to book the afternoon off so they could enjoy some quality time together as fiancé and fiancée.

Y'know, dates as Captain Man and Md were nice but sometimes, it was better to wear a cute dress to make him drool rather than a uniform and to just take in sights and surroundings without being papped or hounded by crazy fans. A nice, relaxing afternoon looking at cacti sounded great, so with suspiciously large grins on their faces, they too sat at the couch-table and got their phones out.

"Come on, doofus! Come on, come on, come!"

"I'm coming, sweet girl, slow down. You're so bouncy today..."

Henry and Charlotte didn't want to know why they seemed so happy, neither did they want to know why Ray looked so smug or why (y/n) seemed to walk with a little discomfort, so they just left it - too repulsed by the possible explanations to want to know more. 

But anyway, their arrival was good because now, they had two more people working tirelessly to beat the online queues and waiting rooms for the first batch. Of course, Henry's super-fast reflexes were a great asset to them and no one family or team on Earth had someone who could move as fast as him but they needed all the help they could get, really.

Tickets for Cactus Con were few and far between, that's why the organisers had to shove people into virtual waiting rooms so their servers didn't crash. And that led to a lot of tapping from the four at the table, who were refreshing and refreshing and refreshing like their lives depended on it because it kinda did. If Piper's friends didn't turn up to see her be queen for a day and if Ray didn't get one date with his sweet girl where they could just be normal people then there'd be hell to pay. 

And that's how Jasper found them; Ray had (y/n) practically sitting on his lap as they stared at their screens and kept tapping so the devices wouldn't go to sleep or they wouldn't be kicked out of the queue. God, that would be a disaster. Sure, it was a sacrifice to go without kisses for an hour or so in favour of securing their place but it was worth it, boy, was it worth it. 

Their shoulders were rubbing anyway and now and again, the heroine could glance across to see how damn hot he looked in that purple sweater of his and his hair, give her strength. It had that little floppy bit dangling down from the rest of his slicked-back mane and had her hands not been preoccupied she would've brushed it back with her finger, only to watch it fall out again. He looked good, so good that she almost wanted to screw the convention and sit on his lap or even drag him back to bed. She couldn't though, not when she owed so much to Piper and Charlotte for the day.

"Happy Fajita Friday, people!" The dorky boy yelled as he appeared from the elevator holding an on aval, cast iron griddle pan full of sizzling vegetables and tender chicken strips. The smell wafted around the room instantly as he took in the sight of his friends doing something and Schwoz hovering around the room. 

He had no idea what any of them were doing but he did know that the day was Friday and as such, he had some hot, Tex-Mex snacks to hand out that he'd fried especially. The problem was, though, that none of them looked particularly eager to start eating, rather, they seemed preoccupied with whatever was on their phones, which was peculiar.

"Ooh!" Still, at least Schwoz looked ready to eat as he ditched the cloth he'd been using for something that was no doubt sciency and smart, and instead, he reached for the right tortilla wraps he'd need for a fajita.

"It's not Friday, it's Saturday!" Henry shouted back, his eyes never leaving his phone as his finger become a blur that jackhammered into his screen. Everyone else just had to be slow and boring, but not him. Kid Danger didn't slow for anyone, not even Jasper, who couldn't believe that he'd gotten the day wrong.

"Well, that would explain why I was the only one at school today," The boy pondered as his skillet continued to fry the fajita filling just from how hot the iron was. Yeah, you'd think that being the only one sitting in class would've given him a hint, especially when the only adult who turned up was a janitor and not the teacher.

"Silence, boy! We're trying to buy tickets to Cactus Con!" Ray snapped as the vague buzz of Jasper talking to himself distracted him from his efforts to secure those precious tickets. His sharp tone earned him a half-serious glare from his sweet girl, who nudged his knee with her own when she heard how rude he was to poor Curly. 

"Be nice, Raymond!" She told him firmly and Ray gave her an apologetic pout before returning to work. That morning had been bliss so far and over the next couple of days, before Cactus Con started, he wanted to stay in her good books so nothing would get in the way of them enjoying their date amongst the cacti. It would be the highlight of his entire weekend.

"But they don't go on sale until Saturday."

"Think it through..." Charlotte stated dryly as she kept tapping and Jasper failed to connect the dots. Even though he'd been told that it was Saturday and not Friday, he still couldn't get his brain used to the change and so, he lacked the urgency of the others despite having the same rampant desire to attend as the others.

"Oh! Today's Saturday! I gotta buy tickets!" After a few seconds of intense concentration, Jasper's brain finally fell into place and his face paled when he realised how much time he'd wasted. Some people had stayed up all night so they'd be the first to get theirs and so, he wasted no time in dropping the pan of chicken and vegetables on the floor and scooting across the room to lean over the back of the sofa. 

It was a shame, Schwoz hadn't even managed to fill one wrap before the food made a terrible mess on the floor, one that (y/n) would no doubt have to clean up before leaving with Charlotte later. Damn, getting to eat beforehand would've been nice.

"Anyone get tickets yet?" He asked as he nudged into the gap between Henry and Charlotte and whipped out his phone. They refused to look at him, the risk of clicking the wrong thing or being too slow was too big a risk when they were so close to their prize.

"No!"

"Nah..."

"Not yet, Curly."

"Can't you see me tapping?" Came the frustrated replies of his friends as they battled on, jumping from waiting room to waiting room as the number of tickets dwindled. They'd been at it for so long, Ray, who was known for not being a patient man, was starting to get twitchy from having a beauty next to him and being able to even hand one hand on her for what felt like forever.

"I don't even understand why everyone loves this Cactus Convention so much, " Schwoz stated as he cherry-picked the best of the ruined fajita filling from the floor. Just because it was now dirty and a bit cold didn't mean he couldn't rifle through the pan to see what he could salvage and make into a tasty snack.

"What? Tap mine and (y/n)'s phones for us, will ya? Thanks, little buddy!" Ray gave his handyman a disbelieving look as he plucked the cell from his girl's fingers and shoved it and his own over to Henry, who didn't want to work on three phones at once but suddenly, he had no choice. 

It sure was a good thing that his fingers were like lightning because Ray had ruffled his hair and was already up and dragging (y/n) with him, intent on both giving Schwoz the moron a lesson and taking a quick break with his sweet girl so he could kiss her before he keeled over.

"Doofus!" (y/n) gasped as his warm hand engulfed hers and pulled her away from the couch, which was nice because her eyes definitely needed a break from all of the text and loading screens but still, it was unexpected too.

"Cactus Con is Swellview's best convention! It's better than Wallet Con, Squirrel Con and Chaka Con," Ray "educated" Schwoz as he and (y/n) came to stand in front of him and almost immediately, the woman had pulled his arms around her body and she was snuggling against him in a side hug, one that felt so perfect after missing his warmth since they untangled themselves a few hours prior.

"Don't forget Genghis Con," (y/n) added, knowing all about that convention and how it had nothing on the one for cacti. That one was way too murderish for a date, unlike this one, which was gonna perfect, she just knew it. Despite his serious, authoritative tone, Ray couldn't help but feel a smile crack on his face as his girl's tiny form pressed into his and in a moment of unapologetic softness, he broke his façade to gently kiss the top of her head.

"You can tap one more, right?"

"Uh--" Charlotte smiled brightly at Henry as she made the split decision to join Ray on his quest to educate Schwoz on the proper way to view Cactus Con, but that would mean that Henry would have to take on another phone and he was already pushing it with three.

"Thanks, champ," he whimpered as he was left with Jasper, nearly all of the responsibility to secure tickets being placed on him. What had he done to deserve such torture?

"And there's great food there too like cactus milk, cactus tacos, cactus jerky!" Charlotte listed all of the amazing delicacies that would be on offer in a couple of days and the couple next to her could practically feel their tummies rumbling as they dreamed about what food they'd be swapping when they were on their date. They couldn't stop imagining it, not when they were bouncing off the walls for a spot of free time together where they weren't hunting bad guys or confined to their bedroom. 

"Ugh! That all sounds disgusting!" Schwoz grimaced and screwed up his nose. Jeez, they were so weird, they didn't eat anything like that in his homeland and even though he hadn't tried any of the cactus products, he instantly decided he was a hater. Oh, the irony of the situation he was in right now.

"Says the guy who's eating fajitas off the floor," (y/n) replied sarcastically as she watched him fill a few tortillas from the mess that was all over her lovely clean floor. To be fair, Jasper was a great cook and she'd be a liar if she said she didn't want one, but surely, he had to recognise the hypocrisy here. The floors were spotless but they weren't that spotless, no matter how delicious the food smelled.

"You want one?" Ooh, Schwoz knew how to tempt a woman and not even (y/n), who stood on the moral high ground and everything, was able to turn down the offer as he held out a pre-filled fajita.

"Of course. I'm starving," she quickly nodded and accepted the tasty morsel as Ray shrugged and decided that if she was having one, he would too. To hell, if they'd been on the floor, most of it came from the pan anyway and it's not like they could get sick anyway. Even Charlotte was taking the risk as she nonchalantly accepted the next wrap, and you'd think she'd repulse the idea of eating so sloppily.

"I'll take a floorjita."

"And my sister's the Cactus Queen this year," Henry mentioned from across the room as Ray received his fajita too, taking a brief moment before eating to wipe the smudge of sauce from the corner of his sweet girl's mouth. Her ensuing blush was so cute, that it took all of his strength to focus on his food and not her honeyed lips as Henry's tap-tap-tap rhythm never ceased.

"Yeah, and I designed Piper's dress with my friend, Patina. (y/n)'s been helping us sew it together too, so..." Charlotte added as she devoured her fajita, not particularly bothered about what she'd just said because it was common knowledge amongst most people.

"I never thought my granny's endless lessons on needlepoint would become so useful," (y/n) grinned as she swallowed some chicken, thinking back to those tedious lessons where all she thought she knew was how to stab herself in the thumb a million times. But, miraculously, a lot had actually sunk into that big brain of hers, more than she ever realised, so most of her recent afternoons had been devoted to a sewing machine or hand-stitching ribbons, buttons and embellishments to perfectly straight seams.

"Wait, the pretty Patina, the prettier Patina or the prettiest Patina?" Jasper asked as he focused on one key detail in Charlotte's information, ignoring whatever (y/n) had to say about how she became fairly decent at darning socks and creating dresses. This was highly important, he needed to know the specifics here because whilst the first two girls were nice, the prettiest Patina was just straight-out lovely--the girl he swore was the (y/n) to his Ray.

"Uh, Patina Elle?" Charlotte said with her mouth full, and her and (y/n)'s eyebrows pulled together when his face lit up. 

"The prettiest Patina?" Oh dear god, how had they not told him that they knew and were currently working with the most gorgeous girl in school? The one he'd been crushing on for ages now but hadn't worked up the courage to ask out because well, she came with one serious drawback that no one liked to mention.

"Hey, can you tap my phone for me?"

"Uh, I'm kinda maxed out--"

"Thanks, sport!" He wasted no time in dumping his phone onto Henry as the others had done, leaving the poor kid to furiously switch between five phones at once. It was hard to split three phones between his dominant hand and two between his left one, but he quickly fell into a rhythm thanks to his superpower, which was honestly his saving grace as Jasper pranced off to go and drool about that girl he liked.

"I love Patina Elle! I love her! Like I love her like Ray loves (y/n)!" Jasper exclaimed as he ran over from the couch, causing (y/n) to smile happily as she learnt about this little crush of his. Well, it was certain that he didn't feel the unyielding, endless, passionate, pure love she and her doofus felt for each other, but it was still so cute to hear him gush about a girl he knew at school. Her little babies, were all so grown-up now, so adorable. 

"Eh, doubt that, son. I've been loving her for nearly twelve years..." Ray shrugged as he calmly ate the last half of his floorjita but on the inside, he too was feeling all fluffy and affectionate. He was pretty sure that whatever the kid was feeling wasn't anywhere close to what existed between him and his sweet girl; he'd just fallen in love with her all those years ago and even though he waited and waited and waited for it to go away when he thought she'd never feel the same way, it was set to still be burning bright when they were old and grey. 

"Everybody loves Patina Elle. She's great."

"Yeah, from what I've seen of her, she's really sweet," (y/n) said as she rubbed her hands to remove the grease left by her annihilated food. Yeah, she hadn't technically met Patina but from the brief words they'd exchanged when discussing how the dress needed to fit Piper, she seemed quite nice.

"Have you, like, actually seen her? Have you been to her house?" Jasper pressed enthusiastically as he drank every drop of information Charlotte gave to him. God, Ray didn't know if he was that...incessant when it came to his lover, but he understood the feeling. Just like now as he leaned in to gently move his lips against (y/n)'s, he never tired of loving her and he never stopped finding new things to love about her, especially when she returned the kiss passionately despite keeping one ear open for the conversation.

"No, her house is totally sealed shut," the girl replied, causing Jasper to grunt in defeat. That drew the adults' attention and reluctantly, Ray and (y/n) parted with grins on their faces as Schwoz pondered what they meant about her shut-off house - something (y/n) hadn't quite worked out yet either.

"Why? Does she smell bad?" The genius asked in confusion, which earned him a mean glare from Jasper and an understanding look from Charlotte, who wasn't nearly as protective over Patina as he was.

"No, she's got this crazy—"

"Ayyy! Ger-ger-ger-ba-duh! Less yapping, more tapping!" Ray snapped when Henry attempted to contribute one line to the conversation, only for his boss to storm over from his girl's side and yell with his mouth full. Jeez, he could talk and tap at the same time, didn't have more icky kissing to do instead of picking on him?

"What? Dude, I'm literally tapping faster than any other human can tap right now," the teen argued as the five screens in front of him continued to flicker from page to page. Even with the heavy workload, he was still beating a lot of people and getting closer and closer to handing over the money, not that Ray appreciated that.

"You can yap faster than a human can too!"

"Dude, just go back to (y/n)! You've obviously spent too much time on your phone instead of being gross with her..." Henry smirked as he used his boss' infinite need for (y/n) kisses to his advantage. It was no secret that he got crabby from withdrawal symptoms when he had to unnecessarily starve himself of her affection. 

"Will someone please tell me what Henry was about to say?" The man spun around to face his other employees again as his sidekick caught him out, making (y/n) giggle at how his ears turned slightly red.

"Patina has this really rare allergy."

"What's she allergic to?" Schwoz asked as Charlotte elaborated. It was the scientist inside of him that couldn't help but ask and he assumed that it would be something typical like a food allergy or perhaps a hair allergy, maybe even a chemical allergy. However, the modern youth are never that simple these days.

"Air." Right, okay, fair enough...was that even a thing? How could a human, whose species had evolved over thousands of years to survive the Ice Age, vicious predators, droughts, floods, earthquakes and disease, plus develop the greatest intelligence amongst all living things, be allergic to something so basic? 

(y/n) couldn't believe it, she knew the girl had something wrong when she had to talk to her through a screen but this was just puny.

"Haha, good one!" Ray chuckled as he took their short answer to be a joke and after finding it funny for a few minutes, went back to affectionately pressing kisses to his fiancée's temple and cheek. Air, so funny, he had to hand it to the kids, that was perfectly executed.

"You mean like hay fever?" (y/n) questioned, trying not to melt under the advances of her doofus as she looked at the teens. Lots of people in the world suffered from the hellish condition of being allergic to the slightest bit of pollen, so perhaps that was it. Maybe her poor nose couldn't take any offending dust particles so she had to stay in her house, which sounded extreme but it was the only scenario she could think of.

"She's allergic to unfiltered air, so she can't go to school in person." Jasper clarified, stunning the adults because sweet cheese, that was crazy. The poor girl must have had a miserable existence if she was in quarantine all day, every day and no one could picture having her life; no real friends, no proper human interaction, no chance to meet cute boys or have slumber parties.

"Yeah, see, look!"

"She has a nurse who pushes around a video monitor that shows a livestream of Patina from her sealed-up house!" The boy went on as Charlotte brought over her PearPad to show Schwoz and the couple the screen of Patina smiling to her class and the grumpy nurse who gave her the best view of the world possible. (y/n) understood why she'd met with the girl in such an odd way but she'd never questioned it before because she always had work to do. 

"I swear, I do not understand your generation," Ray muttered and took another bite from his fajita. He was so glad he'd grown up in the eighties and not now because teens were so weird these days. He wouldn't have met his sweet girl at a cafe, they'd have met online, they wouldn't have face-to-face conversations, all they'd do is text LOL, they'd have dated online and they'd find a way to have a virtual wedding.

"The monitor thing was a little weird at first--"

"I got tickets to Cactus Con!" Henry announced happily as Charlotte thought about how strange it was to be friends with someone when all she knew was what her face looked like in pixels. But Patina's charm had won everyone over in the end and now, she had lots of friends, just like how Henry had won over all of his when his speedy fingers got them into the best convention that came to town.

"Yeah!"

"Going to Cactus Con!"

"Nice one, Hen!"

"Up top!" Came the congratulations of his friends as they celebrated the news. This was perfect; only a few people would be blessed with permission to enter that great convention and they were some of those lucky few. They cheered, they clapped, they yelled from the excitement and after Henry completed a double high-five with Ray, he just had to get all of that trembling adrenaline out of his system by doing a backflip. Y'know, 'cause that's nice and normal.

"WHAT?!" Ray's eyes bugged out of his head as his sidekick did a full rotation before his eyes like it was nothing - just tuck, takeoff and land. He made it look so easy and whilst it was nothing to the others, he couldn't believe that it had just happened. Since when could he do that? "Holy crud, did you just do a backflip?!"

"Yeah," Henry stated calmly, causing his boss to falter when he saw how nonchalant he and his other friends were being. Come on, that was a feat of gymnastic excellence, it's not every day you see one done so flippantly, but despite his enthusiastic smile, no one else got the hype. They could all do one thanks to a DVD tutorial, a lot of practice and a hellishly boring afternoon, what was the big deal?

"Is no one else impressed by Henry's ability to do a backflip?" Ray asked, looking from Jasper to his sweet girl, but he didn't get much of a response. Sure, it was kinda cool when they thought about it, but being able to do one was just second nature at this point, hardly worth a round of applause. All it was was aerodynamics and physics, nothing overly complicated like he was making it out to be.

"It's just a backflip." "He only did one." "Everybody can do a backflip, doofus. It's easy-peasy, squeeze the lemon," (y/n) teased him, shrugging her shoulders since they were superheroes and acts of impressive flexibility were what they did. Perhaps she wasn't going to be competing in the Olympics any time soon but underneath that soft, sweet exterior, there lay a dark horse, which could do a backflip any time, any day.

"I don't believe you, sweet girl. Come on, if anyone's gonna know if you can do a backflip, it's me--" Ray scoffed, believing that she had to be tugging his leg since that was not possible except for athletes on TV and she'd been in a mischievous mood all day. 

It was a joke, right? He knew everything about her; what she liked, what she didn't like, her favourite movie, food, dress, season, colour; he knew that she hated sleeping on the right side of the bed, it had to be the left; he knew that she could name every chemical element and do up to the sixteenth times' tables like it was nothing but she couldn't cook a steak to save her life, neither could she stand on a stage without stage fright. He knew everything there was to know, right?

Well, he thought he did. Before his very eyes, Ray Manchester felt his jaw drop to the floor when his darling, precious, sweet girl stepped forward with a knowing smirk on her face, threw her arms behind her back, jumped, turned three hundred and sixty degrees in the air and landed back on the Man Cave floor with perfect execution.

Probably not the best idea in a skirt but oh well, she was going fast anyway. But for Ray, it didn't matter because he'd just been given a damn step-by-step guide as she twisted through the air, brushing the hair out of her eyes at the end to see that dumbstruck expression on his face. Her hotness had gone through the roof as he stood there in awe of her majesty and prowess.

"Is this real life?!" he exclaimed as she giggled and cutely stuck her tongue out as his hands gently brushed down her arms like he was touching a goddess and it was only when Jasper and Charlotte decided to show off too that his eyes were peeled away from her steadily rising and falling chest and playful eyes.

"Wait, wait, no, no, no..." the man stammered as they stood two metres apart and prepared to launch themselves. As much as he found Jasper annoying he didn't want the kid to hurt himself, the same went for Charlotte.

"Are you seeing this?!" Saying that, though, neither of them failed. Rather, Ray was once again left gobsmacked when they each landed to the move perfect and straightened out of bored faces and not so much as a sweat. He grinned at (y/n) to see if she was as impressed as him but she was smiling because of his adorable reaction, not because she was wowed.

Neither was anyone wowed when Schwoz, last but not least, stepped up to the plate and just like his friends had done before him, he sprung back like it was easy. Ray couldn't believe it when he ended with a classy flourish that would befit a circus performer, perhaps even put them to shame.

"Can you not do one, dude?"

"Hm?"

"Can you not do one, dude?" Ray feigned ignorance when Henry asked him the question because, in all honesty, he couldn't. Come on, he was a fucking huge, hefty, six-foot lump of muscle and those don't do backflips easily. It was also kinda embarrassing to admit that he couldn't when everyone else could because after all, he was Captain Man, if he could keep up with his sidekicks and three regular citizens, what was he good for?

"Pffft! 'Course, I can!" He lied, causing the woman standing next to him to raise her eyebrows and place her hands on her hips. She knew that scoff, that little puff of air that left his lips when he was bullshitting about something because he was trying to look good. 

"Raymond, I've known you for ages but not once have I seen—-mmm!" (y/n) was cut off as Ray abruptly cut off her sentence, which would've exposed him, by seizing her hips and pulling her into an impromptu kiss, swallowing the truth before it made it past those honey lips. It was a shock judging by how her eyes stayed wide for the first five seconds and how she hummed a gasp, but then she melted and forgot all about her argument in a way that was wholly normal for Schwoz and the teens to witness.

"Okay..." Henry muttered and they left it at that since Ray clearly wasn't in the mood to talk as his arms wrapped around the heroine's body and kept her close, meaning he could keep kissing and kissing and kissing her as Charlotte checked the time. Right, well, as much as she hated to break up their little lovefest and start one of Ray's sulking sessions.

"(y/n), we should probably get to Henry's house for Piper's fitting. Once you've done eating Ray's face, that is," she teased her friend as she retrieved her phone from the table and headed for the elevator, expecting the woman to pull away with a pouting yet understanding expression.

"One more minute, Char..." (y/n) muttered as she pulled back from Ray's lips on the thought that yes, they had stuff to do today, but when her doofus dived back into to chase the sugar rush again, she couldn't help but want to carry on for a little longer. One minute, it didn't sound like a lot but she'd take it over being dragged away prematurely, not that any force on Earth could prise Ray from her hips. 

"Is Patina gonna be there?" Jasper asked excitedly, causing (y/n) to smile even harder into the kiss as she heard that exciting note in his voice. Yeah, he was crushing hard; when she'd first started having questionable feelings for her boss, Schwoz often pointed out that she always talked about Ray like an energetic meerkat—upright, alert and able to go on for hours. The next stage was sighing at the mere thought of the other, followed by having sparkling eyes whenever you talk about them in a soft, enamoured voice.

"Yeah."

"Can I come?" Then came the need to follow wherever they went. It sounded a bit stalky and creepy that he had to be there when Patina was, but it was done with the best intentions. Hopefully, she would see it as he did, but also, hopefully, she wouldn't write it off as an unusually strong friendship as he'd done. Yeah, he'd never live that one down; all girls turn down dates to snuggle with their best friend on the couch, that's how the real world works.

"You won't even know that I'm there, I'll be totally quiet. Watch!" Jasper said excitedly and bit his lip just to prove that if he was gonna be an extra guest in the house, he wasn't gonna be a bother. But he didn't exactly help his case, not when he couldn't contain the hyper butterflies in his tummy and started squealing and bouncing up and down.

"If it's cool with Henry—"

"Yeah!" Oh, Charlotte had made his day by just saying those few words and when Jasper looked to Henry for confirmation and the boy gave him a shrug and a "sure" in return, those feelings tripled. Okay, he couldn't mess this one up, this was his first chance to impress his crush and he internally wanted himself not to be weird from the moment her monitor was wheeled through the door.

"(y/n/n), you coming?" Henry called out to his friend as she pulled away from Ray with a warm smile and a soft pat on his cheek before looking over her shoulder. The minute was up and she hadn't even gotten anything ready for the brief trip to the kid's house, which was a bit annoying but neither she nor Ray was complaining about extending the kiss. 

"Uh, yeah, you go on ahead, I'll be right behind. Just need to grab a jacket and my sewing box," the woman told the kids as they piled into the elevator and hit the button. She'd make up the head start they'd have on her and it's not like they could start sewing if she didn't bring the supplies so, they didn't mind disappearing to Junk-N-Stuff as she dashed to the back of the room so the dusty, old box that her granny had left to her.

"I'm gonna go eat my fajita in the shower!" Schwoz smiled to himself as he waddled to the secret door, eyes on his culinary prize. Yeah, no one even batted an eyelid at that because let's face it, he was a guy who regularly showered with pigs, eating in there wasn't weird in comparison. 

But one thing did strike (y/n) as odd whilst she pottered about the edge of the room, hooking one hand through the box's handle and picking up the random denim jacket she'd slung back there a few days ago. Was it just her or had Ray suddenly become really...shifty?

"See you later..." he murmured to Schwoz as he left the couple alone. The only sound in the room was the constant buzzing of all the machinery and computers and then (y/n) as she went about her business, checking that she'd put her needles, thread and thimble back in the box after stitching a sash in the middle of the week. Right, she couldn't forget that either, but when she turned around to tuck the material away and shrug on her jacket, she came across a peculiar sight.

"Um, doofus...what are you doing?" She asked as she stopped slinging the denim around her shoulders at the sight of him stretching? And upon being caught, he then played it off like he'd not been doing it in the first place, which was extra weird. 

"Nothing, sweet girl..." he told her as his hands grasped the rough, faded collar of her jacket and held it out for her to slip her arms into—a move that was so suave and chivalrous that she almost forgot what they were doing when her heart swooned. Almost. 

He brushed her hair free from the confines of the collar and pressed a kiss to the exposed junction of her neck and shoulder. However, she wanted answers and nothing was gonna stop her from finding them, not his handsome face, not his heartwarming affection, not even his stupidly hot purple sweater.

"You're a terrible liar, Raymond," (y/n) whispered and turned in his arms, wrapping hers around his neck as his eyes scanned her pretty features but never met her eyes. How could he explain that he wanted to attempt what he thought was impossible now that everyone was gone?

"You look so pretty today, baby. Do you have to go? We could reenact this morning if you want..." Ray dragged them off-topic as his focus stayed mostly on her scarlet-painted lips and how her tongue darted out to wet them at the mention of the morning part two. That was tempting but she could never do that to her friends. Charlotte, Piper and Patina needed her and she'd be damned if she missed seeing Henry act as Jasper's wingman in his attempts to woo his crush.

"Sounds wonderful, sweetheart but you know I have to go and finish this dress...and from the looks of things, you have to try and prove you can do a backflip," her tongue-in-cheek teasing caused the man to flush bright red as she made the quick connection in her head after pondering about it for a moment. Of course, exercise, stretching, being alone, he still couldn't let it go because they both knew that he couldn't do one, not that there was anything wrong with that.

"Is it really that obvious?" Ray muttered and hung his head in shame, only for his lover to bring his eyes back to hers with a finger under his chin.

"Yeah, kinda. I know you too well, doofus. So well that I know you won't stop until you do one properly, so I promise I won't laugh if you fall on your butt," (y/n) told him gently after cupping his cheeks gently and pressing a kiss to one of them. She'd never laugh at him, not cruelly anyway, he was her beloved doofus and if he wanted to try and land a backflip then she wouldn't judge.

"I love you, darlin'," Ray grinned as he dipped his head to press their lips together one last time before separating from her and moving into some space. He could do this, he had the sweetest, kindest, the most understanding girl he'd ever met as his audience and perhaps if he did it right, she'd be so impressed that his reward would be more than a peck on the cheek.

"I love you too, sweetheart. Now, go on, I'm sure I've got time to see one attempt," she grinned at him kindly and perched herself on the edge of the table with her box bumping against her knees so she had a front-row seat to the show.

"Okay—I-I got this. I can do a backflip...Okay—" Ray muttered to himself as he did a few more stretches that definitely weren't for the benefit of the fine filly admiring his ass and strong back as his muscles rippled beneath his shirt. Okay, he couldn't draft this out any longer, sometimes you just have to go for it and hope for the best, so he did. But it wasn't exactly the best.

(y/n)'s eyes widened and then squinted with a grimace as he jumped and pushed his weight back in a decent takeoff but then he failed to pull his knees to his chest to rotate his body, so he just harshly fell back onto the hard tiles beneath him. Her face contorted in horror as his head and neck took the brunt of the landing and caused his back to crack viciously as he also twisted his shoulder, resulting in a cry of pain breaching his lips. Thank god for his indestructibility.

"Oh god, doofus, are you all—" (y/n) gasped and hurried over to his side as he writhed in pain, her heart lurching at how he seemed to be hurting all over, but she never got to finish her sentence as, to her shock, the elevator door opened, revealing that Henry hadn't gone home just yet. Had she taken too long or was there another reason for his presence?

"Hey, I forgot my backpack..." Henry announced as he stepped into the room and reached for the bag he'd clumsily left next to the elevator and then forgotten, but then he caught sight of the odd couple in the centre of the room. 

He didn't want to ask why Ray was floundering on the floor like a fish out of water with (y/n) crouched next to him, neither did he want to ask what had been keeping her so long but he felt compelled to ask anyway, even if there was an ick factor.

"(y/n), is he okay?" He asked the woman as her eyes darted around the room and her tongue ran over the inside of her mouth in an attempt to not fidget nervously. Spoiler alert; it wasn't fooling him. No matter how innocent she tried to play it, Henry wasn't gonna buy that nothing was wrong because her puppy eyes didn't work on him. They only ever worked on Ray Manchester.

"Uh, yeah, yes, fine. Everything is fine, perfectly normal, in fact. That is a lovely backpack—" (y/n) stammered as he stared her down and analysed what the scene looked like. Judging by how she was avoiding the question and failing miserably, she was trying to protect Ray, who hadn't just tripped and fallen since he moaned in agony until the pain went away.

"Did you just try to do a backflip?" he asked with a smug smirk growing on his face. It all made sense in his mind when he viewed the pair and then did some deeper thinking. He should've known that his boss couldn't let it go, he was famous for never letting anything go, which spawned both his fathomless loyalty and his knack for holding twenty-year grudges.

"No, no! I was—was just on the floor to...closer to these yummy floorjitas!"

"Oh, dear lord..." (y/n) facepalmed when her dumb doofus couldn't face the truth. Surely, it would've been better to admit that he'd failed at doing a backflip and had nearly slipped a disk doing so, rather than sliding on his belly to get to the cold, sloppy mess of the fajita mix that Jasper had dropped.

"So good, so good..." He told the boy as (y/n) screwed her nose up at the deplorable sight and Henry shucked on his backpack with a similar look of disgust. If he told himself over and over again that t tasted nice, maybe it would start to change flavour, y'know, a bit of reverse psychology, but not even Freud could stomp out the shame he felt when his sweet girl shuffled back a bit at how he'd gone a step too far.

"Okay. Good. 'Cause that would've been embarrassing!" Henry chuckled as he felt for the elevator button. Ray still hadn't budged from the mess on the floor and he wondered if he actually liked eating them. Nah, not even Ray was that weird, Schwoz maybe but not Ray. He was a mostly functioning human being who was set to get married and have a happy life. God help any children those two may have.

"I know right!" "Yeah, would've lost all respect for you! You comin', (y/n/n)?" Henry grinned as Ray reluctantly pulled another lump of chicken and a few strings of vegetables into his mouth and pretended that it was equal to a five-star banquet.

"Uh, yeah, hold the door," (y/n) replied and Henry did as she asked as she bid her dumb, gallant doofus farewell.  

"I'll see you later, sweetheart. There's my homemade cookies in the kitchen but if you're gonna eat them, please use a plate and not the floor," she teased and dropped a kiss on his forehead as his face flushed bright red. Could this be any more humiliating?

He'd land a backflip. He'd do it for her. He'd practice all afternoon if he had to. And he'd reap whatever rewards she gave him.

~Henry's house~

How do people sew for a living? 

Now, (y/n) couldn't exactly talk because she was a secret superhero and that came with its danger and even if she had opted for the quiet life, mechanical engineers don't have it easy either. She'd lost count of how many times she'd nicked herself with a rogue screwdriver or burnt her fingers when soldering or even getting molten solder onto her legs—all of which was before the whole super-regeneration thing.

Her chosen professions both came with their occupational hazards but dear lord, seamstresses had it rough. It seemed like such a cosy job; quiet nights by the fire where hard work and tranquillity were patch-worked into one as the rain came down in ribbons outside and a kitty named Buttons snoozed in the dying light of the embers. Everything would come together in the end as if it had been woven by fate itself and then after weaving another commission with another customer, it would be onto the next creation. If only it was that idyllic.

A few weeks of working on this design and she knew that all of that was complete crap. Sure, there were a few moments where she could sit and natter with Ray or her friends or marvel over the pretty fabric and feel like an elegant lady doing something so quaint and delicate. But then she'd stab her finger and swear like a sailor as the droplet of blood that beaded on her fingertip instantly vanished again. It was a temporary pain but it sure did hurt like a bitch. 

Then came the long, bleary nights where she'd stay awake long after Ray had fallen asleep, his nose pushed against her hip and his arms slung over her legs as she stayed sat upright to complete the intimate stitching on the bodice. 

Deadlines were deadlines, so it had taken a lot of coffee and the looming fear of letting everyone down to push her to keep sewing and keep sewing and keep sewing until it took the next sting of the needle to jolt her awake again. The lack of quality sleep full of snuggling made them both grouchy and whilst this had been fun, she was looking forward to never volunteering to be the seamstress again.

But for now, the most relief she got was when she and Charlotte took a step back to admire their masterpiece and she had to admit that she was proud. The girl's design had been beautiful and thanks to her, the dress had come together beautifully. What had started as mere graphite swirls on a sketch pad was now a fitted bodice and a matching jacket that covered her arms and shoulders slightly, made from a cactus green material speckled with pink flowers and cording. 

Stitched onto the back of that was a fan of tropical leaves that gave the dress a bit more majestic height before you got the full sweep of the dramatic skirt—reams and reams of rich, green fabrics sewn together to give the girl a stunning figure and an air of elegance that befitted a queen. 

And that was all without her hair and makeup done or the crown and staff that the organisers had made for her, plus the sash that (y/n) had brought along after finalising the beading that proclaimed her that year's monarch.

"Don't sit there," Piper warned her brother as he went to sit on the couch. It wasn't a command or anything, it was a genuine warning as she looked up from buttoning her jacket and whatever adjustments Charlotte and (y/n) were doing to her hair and dress before Patina arrived. She'd worked on it too, of course, although (y/n) silently wondered what she had contributed at all apart from a few dictatorial instructions about how everything should look or be put together. How much work could someone do when they couldn't leave their house?

"My house too, Piper," Henry replied in that tone that all rival siblings have when addressing each other. The teen had long learnt that he didn't have to put up with his bossy sister's shit just because she was scary, most of her ferocity had mellowed over the years and now she was more bite than bark. Ergo, if he wanted to sit on the couch then he was gonna because she needed to remember that she wasn't the damn queen yet.

"I sits where I wants," he declared and perched himself on the cushion, only that wasn't the only thing he sat on. Instantly, he squeaked as something pointy dug into his butt and his eyes watered at how it was like a million needles pricking his ass at once...because it was. Cactus needles to be specific.

"Well, you should look before you sits, Hen. We left the cactus needles for Piper's dress there," (y/n) told him with little to no sympathy as he grimaced through the pain. He'd been warned and he'd ignored it, resulting in a rather painful problem that she wasn't gonna yank out, not when she still had so many final details to perfect.

"I feel that now..." the boy groaned huskily but Piper had one more surprise for him. "Also, I'm gonna need those needles back," she told him, adding insult to injury as he stood up with pain thick in his throat and began plucking the needles from his butt one by one. He'd be there for a while since he was covered in them and each had a very important place on the dress apparently, so he better stop whinging, especially before Patina arrived. Let's just say, Jasper was feeling a bit nervous.

"Jasper, what are you spraying?" Charlotte spluttered as her odd friend squirted a thick, sickly smelling aerosol in their directions, causing her, Piper, (y/n) and Henry to choke a little. God, it was probably a nice smell if its sweetness was anything to go by but not when they could taste it from how much was in the air. Had he smelt something bad? Why the incessant need to make them all choke?

"Oh, air freshener! Cashmere-plum! I want it to smell nice for Patina," he replied as he sprayed the area near the stairs and then realised that he might smell bad too. He decided that there was no harm in his mouth smelling like his grandmother's car and he went ahead with squirting the stuff in his mouth. All that effort for a girl that wasn't gonna be in the room. 

Not even Ray had been that desperate to win (y/n)'s affections, although he did once drive fifty miles to pick her up from the airport because he hated the thought of her taking public transport after an already tedious journey to a family reunion. They always went to those together now.

"Who cares how it smells? Patina's allergic to unfiltered air so she won't even be here in person." 

"Yeah, she's just gonna be on that video monitor that her nurse pushes around," Piper and Henry noted as he continued to use the air freshener until the can was half-empty. He couldn't be too careful, he wanted to impress this girl so bad and nothing or no one was gonna stop him from making the environment perfect for her monitor.

"Well, what if she asked her nurse what the room smells like, hmm? What then? What then?!" Jasper asked impatiently with yet another squirt on the end just for good measure and his friends sighed tiredly. They understood his need for this to go well since he wasn't exactly a ladies' man; all of his exes had been psychos and those he did like never fancied him back but perhaps this time would be different—if he stopped trying so hard and just let it flow naturally.

"Jasper, calm down and take it from someone who spent ten years crushing on one guy—it's always better if you just be yourself. Don't you think Patina will want to get to know the real you? The funny, cute boy who doesn't normally kill houseplants with air freshener?" (y/n) gave him a gentle smile as she looked away from her work to focus on another problem. He released a deep breath as he absorbed her words, concluding that she was right.

"You're right. You're right, all right? I just need to...chill out," Jasper sighed and calmly sat down on the couch, thinking that whatever happened, whatever was thrown his way and however beautiful Patina looked, it was better if he didn't freak out. He was chill, he was calm, and nothing would break down the fortress of tranquillity that had surrounded his mind because everything was fine and everything was gonna go well. That is until the doorbell rang.

"She's here! Everybody shut up!" The boy jumped up from the couch not a second after he'd settled into the cushions and ordered his friends to button it even though they weren't talking. He didn't know if the nurse and Patina could hear anything from the porch but he didn't want them to think they were all weird, neither did he want them to think that they were stiff. 

"Wait! When I open the door, everybody laugh like I just said something really funny, okay?! All right and funny, funny!" He changed his tune pretty quickly as he zipped to the door and then directed them all to start laughing. Yeah, it would've been better if he went with (y/n)'s advice on being natural because no one's laughter sounded genuine, more forced and strained as he opened the door as suavely as he could to the raucous sound as a backdrop.

"Hey, Patina," "Hi, Jasper!" "Come on in, come on in," and despite all of that effort, he welcomed her in as if it was the easiest, most natural thing in the world with Patina not even noticing the fake laughter as her weird, socially-deficient nurse pulled her monitor into the room. The girl was more bothered about seeing a new place albeit virtually than the people in it or what they were doing but still, he had time to catch her attention.

"I love this house!" She complimented Henry and Piper, who had varying opinions on the compliment as she was wheeled in and absorbed every detail from the whacky knickknacks to the bright decor. If only she could see it in person, her life would be complete. But that was the whole point, right? Her life was miserable because she swelled up whenever she went outside.

"Thanks!" "Okay..."

"Morgan, what does the room smell like?" 

"Smells like cashmere and plum. It's delightful," the nurse responded to the surprising question, which shocked everyone but Jasper, who couldn't believe that he'd played a hunch and gotten it right. Of course, the smell of the room made everything that much better and he'd been certain that Patina would want to know what Henry's house smelt like so she could imagine herself there fully, much to his friends' disbelief. Okay, go, Jasper, sure, he'd been a bit crazy but the air freshener had been a nice touch.

"Does this place have a basement?" Morgan the nurse asked suddenly as Henry gave Jasper an approving nod. That was an odd question to ask but whatever. He was more concerned about getting stuck in with his wingman duties because, and he couldn't believe he was thinking this, it seemed like Jasper was in with a chance here. And he couldn't idly stand by and watch him screw it up.

"Huh? Uh, yeah—" "Uh! I'll find it..." the nurse cut him off ominously and then left Patina's monitor by the fireplace so she could go off in search of the basement. Okay, someone was giving off murderer vibes and everyone watched awkwardly as she disappeared to the door that led to below the house, wondering what she was possibly gonna do down there.

"...You look gorgeous!" Patina gasped at Piper's dress as Jasper pulled her—the monitor—closer to the girls so she could see the amazing work they'd managed to do in such a short amount of time. (y/n) and Charlotte were busy adjusting the sash on the outfit as Piper blushed by they felt pride run through them anyway because it was true—Piper did look lovely.

"Thank you!" Oh, Jasper. It was an honest, understandable error to think that his crush was talking to him as he got close to the screen to drag it across the room but it didn't make it any less awkward. Cute but still very awkward.

"She was talking to me," Piper pointed out dryly, wondering what planet the boy was on as he stared at the floor and wished it would eat him whole. That way Patina wouldn't see his mortified blushes but luckily for him, Charlotte was quick on her feet with a saving diversion.

"Hey, is this how you said you wanted the sash to hang?" Charlotte asked as she and (y/n) held the silk in place over Piper's torso, pinning it to her shoulder so it crossed her body to have the bow at the back. Yeah, the sash was nice but again, (y/n) couldn't help but wonder just how much the other girl had contributed. How else could a sash hang? Not many in her mind, but whatever, she held her tongue just like she held the luxurious material and distracted herself with how pretty her engagement ring was when the diamonds caught the light.

"Yes! You nailed it! Ugh, Piper... I wish I could see you in that dress at Cactus Con in person," Patina sighed as she realised that all of her/their efforts would amount to nothing for her because what was the point in designing a beautiful dress if you'd never see it in the light? She'd never seen people marvel and admired it, she'd never see how Piper glowed it in, and she'd never get to thank Charlotte and Charlotte's grown-up friend for making it real. It was a real shame, such a shame that Jasper couldn't help but wonder if there was a solution to her problem, one that could be twisted into a win-win situation.

"Oooh! Then—-then, do it! Come with me, I'll be your date!" He was straight in there, possibly a little bit too quick for a guy who'd already made an idiot of himself once. To everyone's shock but Patina's endearment, he sank to one knee and held his hands in front of him, clasped together in a plea for her to accept that appeared to be too extra by Henry's standards—and (y/n)'s, if she was honest. God, it had taken her doofus eleven years to get to that stage and there he was doing it after eleven seconds.

"Uh—slow down—too bold—" Henry muttered and spluttered the message by covering it up with a cough, hoping that his best friend would get that he was throwing himself into the deep end, running before he could walk or y'know, setting himself up for sabotage. He needed to secure a good friendship with the girl, hit her with a few cheesy one-liners to make her blush, eat her mom's homemade brownies and tell her she looked beautiful at least twice before he asked her on a date. Well, that's how he would've done it, nice and slow, not rushed and not so...desperate.

"Jasper, I would love to go to Cactus Con with you..."

"—keep going—it's working—" Never mind. The Henry method didn't always work out apparently and in this case, Jasper's approach of throwing caution to the wind and just ripping the bandaid off was well-played, much to everyone's shock. Someone should've told Ray that when he was debating whether he should confess to (y/n) or not but anyway, Henry did not stumble when it came to being a good wingman. When he saw the way Patina melted at the kind offer, he instantly changed his advice, not that things were gonna work out so well.

"But I can't." Well, that was...blunt. It was like a stab to the heart for Jasper as Patina shot him down after sounding so sweet and promising, which was heartbreaking for (y/n) watch as the sad bit of every rom-com she'd ever watched play out in front of her and there was nothing she could do to stop it. If this was a movie then the glorious plot twist of the lovers finding a way to make it work would be right around the corner, but not before someone took a cheap dig.

"Oof, dude, you just got curved hard!" Oh, Piper. She knew how to throw salt into a guy's wounds as he bled out from a broken heart. 

"No! No, no, no, I didn't mean to curve you!" Patina, however, was quick to correct her as she saw Jasper's face drop into disappointment when he realised that he'd built his hopes up for nothing. He thought that a girl like Patina was way out of his league and that even thinking of dating her had been a foolish fantasy. Plot twist coming; his crush didn't see it like that at all. "I just meant, I'd go if I could leave my house but I can't." Well, that was sad.

"Well, what if you could?" Jasper suggested, not knowing where he was going with this but honestly, he was feeling like doing something stupid. It was the crush making him feel that way, that's why people say love makes you do and say stupid things because he had the chance to take Patina Elle on a real-life date and he was gonna find a way to do it even if it had complicated repercussions.

"I don't see how that's possible. I'm allergic to air!"

"...Kid Danger!" Jasper exclaimed suddenly and he grunted and groaned through ten seconds of intense theory, scouring his brain for an idea on how they could get Patina to the convention without killing her in the process. He bit his lip and turned to his friends for help but it turned out that he didn't need it, or when he saw his best friend—his superhero's sidekick—best friend standing there. He knew there had to be a perk to that and now he'd found one, much to (y/n) and Henry's immediate fear and apprehension.

"What?!"

"Oh god..." They blinked the shock away from their faces so that Patina nor Piper would see the colour draining away from them but to the trained eye, such as Charlotte's, it was obvious that they were terrified. The mention of his alias was a dangerous one because Ray's rule number one for his employees was to never, ever reveal his, Miss Danger's or Kid Danger's secret identities. 

They were straying into perilous territory just by saying that name because what if someone made the connection? What if he blabbed something and the truth got out? Ray would kill them and Schwoz would have to whip out the memory-wiper. This was a bad idea.

"What about Kid Danger?"

"He...owes me a favour!" A very bad idea. Jasper didn't want anything to get out of hand but now that he'd dropped the name in front of Patina to capture her delight, it was impossible to take it back, even though he knew that his boss would strangle him if he found out that he was using his, (y/n)'s or Henry's secret influence to make himself look good. How on earth would he, a normal, average kid who never did much, let alone get to know a celebrity on a level like that, score a favour from Kid Danger? It just didn't make sense to anyone who heard it.

"He does?!" Piper asked with a frown. Come on, she was the president of the Man Fans and she'd helped the superheroes out a bunch of times and even she didn't know Captain Man and Co like that.

"Uh, yeah, does he Jasper? 'Cause I don't—I don't—"

"Yeah, he does!! He could, uh, he could protect you!" The teen bellowed over his friend's attempts to get his name out of the picture. Jasper needed Kid Danger right now, the young, cool, popular guy who had the gadgets to fix any situation and even if it made him and (y/n) incredibly uncomfortable, he was gonna risk it. The crush would just be too much to handle if he didn't act on it.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that Kid Danger, whoever he is, can't protect someone from allergies..." (y/n) noted as she and Henry nervously watched and listened, occasionally sharing some worried glances as their palms grew sweaty.

"No! I mean, yes, but I-I just mean that Kid Danger has all kinds of cool gadgets and stuff! R-r-r-r-right, Henry? Right, Henry? (y/n)? (y/n/n)?" He clarified, missing yet another chance to leave the heroes out of it and then, he made it worse by turning to the woman and boy as if they could share the intimate knowledge they had. Why would he do that? Did he want to expose them? (y/n) could swear that her eye twitched and her heart imploded as the room looked at them weirdly, expecting the answers they had.

"Personally, I have no idea what you're going on about, Curly..."

"How would we know that?" The sidekicks replied flatly in an attempt to seem as neutral, unbiased and innocent as possible because Piper and Patina were not allowed to see anything hint that they knew more than they should as regular citizens. Help, someone help, they felt like they were in a goldfish bowl right now, or at the very least in a corner being attacked from all sides by questions that didn't know when to stop. What else was he gonna say to make them squirm?

"Uh, because you're both such big Kid Danger fans! And (y/n), we all know how much you love Captain Man!" Charlotte jumped straight in with a reasonable lie that covered their backs should none start developing deeper into how Henry or (y/n) could have that knowledge.

"Yeah, whatever!" Jasper wasn't fussed about that, though; yeah, (y/n) loved Ray and vice versa, tell him something new. He was more concerned with using his best friend's legendary status to score him a date with the prettiest girl in school. 

"If I could guarantee that Kid Danger could keep you safe, will you come to Cactus Con with me?"

"Guarantee's a strong word..." Henry said to himself in a strained voice so that only (y/n) and Charlotte heard him. They had to jab him in the robs to make sure that no one not on the "need-to-know" list heard him but they understood what he meant. Having all of that responsibility to make sure that Patina didn't have a severe allergic reaction was a big deal and despite his skills, not even Kid Danger could push the air away and protect her from rogue particles. He was a sidekick, not a miracle worker, big difference.

"Oh, Jasper, that would be amazing! But would Kid Danger really do that?"

"Of, course! He loves me!" Jasper reassured her, exaggerating just how deep this fake-but-not-fake relationship went.

"Love's a strong word..."

"HE'LL DO IT!!" Still, his best friend ignored his subtle pleas to think of something else and much to the sidekicks' displeasure, Jasper found himself with a date as Patina gasped and grinned with delight. Oh good, this was gonna be fun.

"Jasper, thank you so much!" Patina smiled warmly at her date, who himself was beaming with pride at how he'd managed to secure an afternoon with her against all odds.

"Uh, this is just great! Great fun for everybody—hey, Jasper, could I talk to you outside on the porch, please?" The blond boy held a tight smile as he approached Jasper in a friendly manner that suggested that nothing was wrong. Right, the porch, the place that witnessed every important private matter that had to be discussed in the Harts' household and (y/n) knew where this going, unlike Jasper.

"Sure!"

"Cool..." the boy muttered as he shoved his friend towards the door, not caring if it seemed a bit harsh because, in effect, Jasper had kinda thrown him under a bus. One look over his shoulder to the woman standby awkwardly with Charlotte and they were out of the door, (y/n) hot on their heels since she was the only Man Cave adult around to referee the ensuing argument. 

"Uh, I'm just gonna go...yeah," she muttered something incoherent as she tiptoed across the room, ignoring whatever was coming from the monitor—something about Patina telling her mom about her perilous trip outside. Yeah, she shouldn't get her hopes up just yet.

"Dude!"

"Bro!" Henry was the first to sigh exasperatedly at Jasper, who then sighed back with that dopey, smitten look on his face and his hand over his heart as they started a battle of who could say the same word for the longest. 

Henry knew that look, he knew it very well—that was the kinda look that Ray used to wear when he was daydreaming about (y/n), watching (y/n) hover around the Man Cave, waiting for (y/n) to come home, wishing (y/n) would fall in love with him, wondering if (y/n) would ever feel the same way, just anything about his future wife before they got together, he used to look so distant and soft until he got that love for real. 

The woman watching the exchange never saw it in her relationship but she sure as hell saw it in Jasper as he fought like a knight battling for a princess' hand. And they just had to be the wicked witch and evil warlock trying to hold him back.

"Dude!"

"Bro!" Great. This could go on for a while as (y/n)'s head flickered back and forth between the boys who just couldn't break out of the cycle. They both had such strong feelings about this and neither wanted to back down, even when it started to get weird.

"Dude!"

"Bro!

"Dude!"

"Bro!"

"Okay, this is getting ridiculous, use your words!" (y/n) exclaimed as they seemingly had a conversation just by saying two things. Finally, another voice of reason might work with hers to cut through whatever this was because they just weren't listening.

"Dude!" "Bro!" "Dude!" "Bro!" "Dude!" "Bro!" "Dude!" "Bro!" 

"They've been doing that for ages. I can't even get through to tell them that I have an idea on how to help Patina," (y/n) said as it just went on and on and on. Charlotte came to stand in between them with her, and the woman couldn't offer her an explanation as they continued to argue with next to nothing being said, the only clue on how they felt being the steadily deepening growls in their throats. Well, they were getting angry at each other and that's when the girls decided that they'd heard enough, well, Charlotte had. This was stupid, so she intervened to the best of her ability.

"You guys!" She snapped and the boys stopped arguing to look at her and (y/n) as they stood there with irritated expressions. At last, a bit of peace to work through this. Shouting wouldn't help, as (y/n) had learnt through numerous screaming matches with Ray, so it was best to just calmly voice their opinions and come to a reasonable compromise, as she demonstrated.

"Use your words..." the woman reiterated and Henry sighed, knowing that she was right. Well, then if he had to behave like a grown-up for this, he'd give Jasper a taste of reality because what he was asking for wasn't fair in his opinion. His job was his life, which sounded a bit sad but he could never endanger the operation Ray had going to keep Swellview safe and his friend's little jaunt with his new girlfriend/date was surely gonna put that in jeopardy.

"(y/n), will you please tell Jasper that he can't volunteer Kid Danger for his personal life?" Oh jeez, it was always fun to be the referee, y'know, the one stuck in the middle with people pulling you on both sides. At least the woman was used to it, after all, she lived with a rather opinionated coconut and a man-child, being a keeper of the peace was just about her third job.

"Will you please tell Henry that I'm in love?" Jasper countered with just as much passion, although (y/n) was fairly sure that what Jasper was feeling wasn't love. Puppy-love maybe but not love-love. Not the love she felt every morning when she woke up next to her future husband or when they looked at possible venues for the wedding. He was a long way off experiencing that kind of addictive, all-consuming, golden, toe-curling feeling where he'd know if he'd found the one or not, but she wouldn't tell him that. Everyone needs to have their heart broken a few times before getting it right.

"Will you please tell Jasper that we don't have anything in the Man Cave that can help Patina?" Henry bit back, thinking the same thing as her when it came to Jasper being in love but again, like a good friend, he held his tongue. No one wanted to be cruel here, but he did want to be realistic and in all of his time in the Man Cave and every time he'd sorted through Ray's junk, he'd never come across anything that looked like it would save a girl from going into anaphylactic shock. But little did he know, there were a few hidden gems knocking about the place.

"Actually, we may have something in the Man Cave that can help Patina..." "(y/n), will you please ask Charlotte what she's talking about?" The boy frowned as he heard the girl's hesitant words. Huh? This was the first he'd heard of this, had Schwoz been inventing again? (y/n) would know what she was going on about, she watched over the Man Cave like a hawk and his frown deepened when she nodded slightly. This was her idea coming into play and she was glad that at least someone knew what she was referring to and that someone paid as much attention to what happened around them as she did.

"She's talking about—" (y/n) was gonna elaborate but then, with perfect timing, Henry's watch started to beep and flash, indicating that someone in the Man Cave wanted to chat. It wasn't an emergency, just a double beep to let him know that his services were needed for something, so as the kid went to flick it open, they were all left in suspense.

"Wazzzzzup?!" It was Schwoz, of course, it was Schwoz. And of course, he was doing that stupid greeting that the boys in the Man Cave couldn't help but do because it was oh-so hilarious. Ever since they'd heard of the old nineties trend, Jasper, Henry, Ray and Schwoz had taken the pleasure of using it whenever they called each other because it was just so funny, not that (y/n) or Charlotte understood the hype. It was twenty years old and a tad immature, perhaps a bit laddish, why did they do it?

"Wazzzzzuppp?!" "Wazzzzzupppp?!" The boys responded with their tongues sticking out and grins curling the corners of their mouths but even still, (y/n) and Charlotte stayed quiet. Hello or hi would suffice for them, but they weren't gonna let them do that. This was a group effort and according to pop culture law, once some said wazzup, everyone else had to do it too.

"Come on, come on, do it do it..." Children. They worked with children. Sighing, the girls repeated the greeting with a lot less enthusiasm than the boys mustered but still, it was good enough. Hardly a formal greeting but if it made them happy, they'd muddle through, especially since they were curious to know what Schwoz could be calling them about. Normally, it was Ray who did the calling if there was an emergency and ever the worrier, (y/n)'s heart lurched when her brain generated a million questions about why he wasn't around. Still, she needed to clarify something and so, she told her nerves to go away because the most probable situation was that Ray was off somewhere doing something dumb to keep himself busy.

"Schwoz, I'm fairly sure we do but have we got a three-ply, airtight, hypoallergenic bubble-suit somewhere in the Man Cave?" (y/n) asked the small man once they'd all calmed down. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she recalled seeing one of those suits tucked away in a box in case they ever needed to enter an environment where there was a dangerous airborne disease or particle around but she wanted to make sure with the genius who didn't necessarily keep a better inventory than she did, but he was the one to ask for reassurance. It was his tech, he'd know, right?

"What size?" Schwoz questioned without even batting an eyelid, "Small." "Oh, yeah, we've got that," he replied easily, knowing that they had a variety of sizes in the Man Cave ranging from Captain Man size to Miss Danger size to Kid Danger size and to his own size. Whatever they needed it for they could borrow it, it's not like he was planning on going into a hazardous area any time soon, not when he already had so many odd jobs to do around the place. Well, then, that was their Patina problem solved, she could walk around in the suit with the air filter on her back and not have to worry about a thing. Apart from popping the thing.

"Well, that was easy," Charlotte noted and (y/n) nodded, feeling much more relieved now that they had a plan of action, but her chest still felt uneasy at the thought of Henry having to hover around the girl all afternoon. As long as she didn't stare and he didn't say much they should've been okay.

"So you'll do it?" Jasper looked at Henry with hope gleaming in his eyes and for a moment, the boy thought. Hard. Like (y/n), he had many reservations about this plan, so much could go wrong and they had so much to lose, but then at the same time, this was Jasper he was dealing with; the kid he'd known since he was tiny, the kid who always had his back no matter what, the kid who had no luck with girls at all but deserved a chance because he was a great guy underneath the weirdness. Could he throw caution to the wind and live dangerously just this once?

"Fine..." "BRO! "Dude!" Yes. Yes, he could do that. It was worth it to see Jasper's ecstatic face when he conceded, even if the ensuing hug made his pancreas and liver feel like they were gonna explode. His friend was happy, that was all that mattered and all they had to do on the day was b extra careful to not let anything go wrong. It would be fine, he'd be a great wingman and then Jasper would owe him a huge favour because he was seriously sticking his neck out here, not that his boss, the guy who was most likely to flip when hearing about this, was in a position to care about the recklessness of their idea right now.

"Hey, you guys wanna see something funny?" Schwoz suggested with a mischievous smirk as Jasper put Henry down after his bone-crushing hug and immediately, (y/n) felt suspicious. He had that look of mischief in his eye and sure, she was up for seeing something funny but he seemed positively devious with whatever was going on around him. There had to be a reason why he'd called, right? 

"'Course." "Yeah!" Henry and Jasper nodded, not feeling at all apprehensive as the genius pulled the remote control for the holo-caller from his back pocket. They'd had a rough fifteen minutes, they needed a laugh and there was a reason why Schwoz had called them of his own free will, mainly because this kind of entertainment only came around once in a while and it was only brief, which was a shame. It was pretty funny.

"Ray is still trying to do a backflip!" He exclaimed, making (y/n)'s face quickly contort into one of adoration and sympathy at how her poor doofus was trying so hard, only to be teased and mocked. The camera angle turned so Schwoz left the hologram and instead, it focused on Ray, her sweet Ray, as he did the lunge-hand-swing thing again to build momentum, only to fall on his ass again when he jumped back. The sight of him flopping onto the floor in a pile of doofus had the teens pointing and laughing as she cooed like she was watching an adorable baby fall whilst taking its first steps and even though it was a bit funny, she didn't have it in her to laugh along.

"He can't do a backflip!" "He can't do a backflip!" "Can't do a backflip!" They all chattered as Ray looked up in confusion and saw that he'd been caught on camera and that all of the sudden noise was his friends laughing at his failings. Was his sweet girl laughing too? She would never, but he couldn't see from that distance, so his cheeks flared from embarrassment when he made out the distinct voice of Jasper and Henry mocking his law of gymnastic prowess.

"Don't look at me!" He exclaimed as he scrambled to his feet and stepped out of the camera's shot, feeling like he was gonna explode as the teens continued to giggle. He'd do it. Maybe. He'd do it and then who'd be laughing, huh? Not them because he'd be just as good, if not better.

"Awww, don't laugh, he's adorable!" (y/n) nudged her friends and scolded them in a tone that said that if this was anyone else, she'd be laughing her ass off like they were. It was only because she worshipped the ground he walked on that she was trying to shoo them away, which wasn't working. The laughter was then aimed at her as their teasing turned to how much of a simp she was, how she found anything he did cute and how she'd slap anyone if they were picking on her lover. 

To them, the guy was nice but he was also a buffoon, so they had no idea how she was able to look past all of that and see nothing but perfection. Not a perfect man but perfection as in his strengths and flaws in one man that captured her heart. Was that what was gonna happen to Jasper? He already didn't see the monitor, he just saw the girl; perhaps in time, he'd only see the best in her too and love whatever her ugly side looked like just as much.

They could laugh all they wanted, to her, Ray really was adorable and dorky, and she didn't care if he could do a backflip or not. Hell, it probably would've been better if he stopped because every time he landed, it looked like he was gonna snap his neck. 

It wasn't possible but something would go wrong, she just knew it, and what would she do if she had no doofus? She couldn't survive the teasing about how whipped she was alone. It was her and Ray against the world, or rather, her and Ray against the merciless teens that were their family.

~A few days later, The Cactus Convention~

Well, this was nice. The place was packed as the security guards held back the crowds from swarming the displays prematurely because there just was that much excitement for this year's convention. They had everything here, every cactus on the Earth, every specimen, every breed, every species, they were all lined up and waiting to be viewed and loved and that was just the plants.

On one table, some souvenirs were no doubt gonna be sold out by the time things were closing up, so everyone made a mental note to get a hat or a t-shirt at some point during the afternoon. But how could they do that when there was so much else on offer too? The food, the balloons, the games, the cacti experts dotted here and there, there was so much to look at, do, experience, taste and learn about that one afternoon didn't seem long enough, not when some unfortunate souls were left out in the cold because they hadn't been quick enough to buy tickets. 

That was (y/n) or Ray's problem, though. They'd queued for ages to get in and had excitedly flashed their tickets at the doorman before someone else could take their spots and they were inside the building in no time, which was where they'd met up with Henry, who unlike them, wasn't set for a super fun day. 

No, whilst they were kissing and hugging and doing cute date stuff, he had to chaperone Jasper and Patina around, so he couldn't escape the romance and neither could he relax. Those two were taking ages in the parking lot what with the bubble-suit and Jasper trying to be the perfect gentleman, despite (y/n) advising him to loosen up and have fun, so he had time to crumble about his problems. 

The crowds wouldn't leave him alone when he was dressed at Kid Danger and that's all he'd been complaining about to the couple over the last few minutes as they patiently waited for Cactus Con to start. And that job fell to Piper.

"Hear me, hear me!" The girl shouted as she stood there looking all beautiful and regal in her dress. Everything had come together perfectly in the end and after a rush job of completing the sash, (y/n) was happy to let Charlotte stand up there with the girl to smoothen out the creases and adjust the spiky crown she was wearing as she bellowed the traditional commands, "As your Cactus Queen, I declare the Swellview Cactus Convention, open!"

To her and everyone else's surprise, no one budged when Piper opened her arms to announce that it was time to give the crowd what they wanted, but the guards wouldn't drop the rope. That was weird, she was supposed to have absolute power for the day, which probably wasn't wise considering what Piper could be like sometimes, but it still was a mystery as to why they weren't obeying. She had the crown, she had the gorgeous dress, she had a goddamn bejewelled staff complete with a cactus glued on the end, what more did they want?

"You have to tap your staff on the ground...my queen!" One security guard with blonde, curly hair called out. She was named Fran as everyone would find out at some point and she was weird, annoying and just a little bit...bitchy. Little did they know but she was gonna be a sore spot for the team in the future and possibly one of Miss Danger's most annoying rivals but that would save for another day. All they noticed now was her belligerent attitude when she dropped a sarcastic curtesy to Piper after sounding so churlish.

"Open!" Piper corrected herself by tapping her impressive staff on the ground twice and finally, the guards dropped the golden rope to the applause of the convention-goers. Really? Couldn't they have just done that in the first place rather than complain about it? Whatever, they moved off without any more fuss now that the Cactus Queen had done her job correctly and that meant that the crowd could flood in, with Henry, (y/n) and Ray trailing at the back, the couple happily holding hands since they weren't working. 

The job for today was to relax and spend some quality, normal time together, which came with the added joy of the girl being able to wear her engagement ring out in the open. It wasn't easy to tell but Ray was happy, very happy judging by how he deliberately chose to hold her left hand just so he could feel the metal against his skin.

"It's just a backflip, bro. You just do it, you just flip backwards," explained Henry to Ray as the man guided his sweet girl into the room with a thoughtful look on his face. Of course, the conversation had made its way back to the one stunt Ray couldn't pull off because even after a few days of practice, he still wasn't able to do it without falling. 

He didn't want to spend the whole day talking about it, not when his fiancée had gotten all dressed up and he'd put on one of his best Hawaiian shirts to make their date complete, but he wanted to hear the theory behind it because for some reason, no matter what he tried, he couldn't get it right. 

"Yes, but how?" He asked, wanting to know how they performed such wizardry because he'd spent days getting it wrong every time. He understood that bit, he knew how it worked, he just didn't know how to do it himself. His body wouldn't comply, not even when he'd made his sweet girl stand in front of him and do three in a row so he could study her figure—movements, he meant movements. 

"It's like trying to explain to somebody how to walk. You know what I mean? Just right foot, left foot, repeat."

"Backflipping is not the same as walking!" Ray argued when Henry tried to point out how simple it was as they walked and stopped in the middle of the room to chat, which was a bit weird since Kid Danger was appearing quite chummy with this man and his lover. It was just one of those skills where you either had it or you didn't and as much as it frustrated him, Ray had to admit that he didn't. Maybe it would be better for him to admire (y/n) doing it instead, at least then he'd merely drool and not hurt himself.

"Yeah but equally as easy!" "No, they are not!" "Maybe not for you but for most people, it is..." "Ugh, stop arguing! I swear, you're both like children!" (y/n) groaned as her doofus and friend kept bickering over the same thing repeatedly. They were cutting into her date time and that wasn't something she got a lot of these days, so she was eager to pull Ray away but at the same time, she didn't want to seem needy or pushy. 

But Charlotte swooped in like she always did and took the wrap for her, but to be fair, she did have an excellent reason.

"Uh, you guys?" She came over casually like she wasn't doing much, just looking fabulous with her hair in a rare style for her and a sick outfit. She'd been experimenting with her look lately but enough about that, she was more concerned about how easy it was for the couple to forget that when they weren't in uniform, or y'know, letting Henry do his thing alone, they weren't meant to know who Kid Danger was.

"Hey, Charlotte..." "What's up, Char?" "What's going on?"

"Maybe since you guys don't know each other, you shouldn't be talking, Ray, (y/n) and Kid Danger?" she advised subtly as if she was pandering to the sidekick and not speaking to him on a friendly level. The three realised their mistake instantly as (y/n) and Ray were suddenly very aware that they lacked the blue and red uniform that the kid was wearing and they quickly checked that no one was staring. 

Luckily, no one had clocked onto the fact that they'd been talking for a weirdly long time, which was a lucky escape, and swiftly, Ray pulled his girl away from Henry before anyone could get suspicious.

"Dude, she's right." "Right, scatter, scatter!" The hero told his employee and sidekick as he tightened his hold on (y/n)'s hand, who couldn't stop the smile from worming its way onto her coral lips when she realised that their date started now. 

It would just be them together but with people around them, no friends as horrible as it sounded, no interruptions, just them doing cute couple stuff like every other couple in the city did. There'd be no gunfire, no people to save, no fires to put out, everything would be perfect and her happiness was obvious to the teens as they saw how eager she was to pull her fiancé away.

"Have fun on your date!" Charlotte, or maybe Henry, called out over their shoulder as they all went their separate ways, which caused the lovers to look at each other and giggle with lovestruck faces. Right, this was their time and they were gonna make the most of it by seeing everything there was to see, eating as much food as they could and kissing more than was publicly appropriate and it all started now. 

Except, they weren't off to a very good start. Ray, being the doofus he was, didn't look where he was going as they quickly turned around to march off in whichever directions the teens weren't going and therefore, he marched straight into a cactus. A very prickly, very dangerous cactus.

"Argh, what the butt?!" "Doofus, be careful!" (y/n) told him in a worried voice as the needles tried to pierce his skin to no avail. Thank god he was indestructible, otherwise, he'd be in a very sticky situation right now and their date would've been finito since he practically faceplanted the thing. He felt the pins tickling his face before he pulled back to shield his sweet girl from any danger because even though she'd survived a prickling too, he didn't like the sound of plucking needles out of her palm or cheek as tears gathered in her eyes. That sounded awful, his heart would never cope.

"Ha, dude, you just bumped into the world's most poisonous cactus," and here came Kid Danger just to rub it in that he was clumsy. He might have been ordered to keep his distance so everything seemed normal during his mission, but when he witnessed his boss stumble into one of the deadliest plants in the world, he just had to poke fun. Come on, the guy was a walking disaster nearly and it was only thanks to his indestructibility that he hadn't gotten himself killed yet.

"How do you know that?" Ray asked indignantly, wondering what his sidekick was basing the level of poison this cactus had. Was he a botanist now? Could he name every cactus in the room and backflip to them all in succession? Was this just 'make fun at Ray' day? He didn't know why he looked so smug but (y/n) did because she knew that too. Anyone in the room could know it if they wanted to, all they had to do was be observant, another skill that her sweetheart sometimes lacked. 

"Because it says it right there, doofus. World's most poisonous cactus, don't bump into it," she read from the tiny card that had been placed in front of the plant, which would probably save the organisers from a lawsuit but in general, it wasn't very safe. There were so many people in the room, kids, elderlies, and idiots, anyone could brush up against this thing since there was no railing around it to keep people at a safe distance. What if someone got jabbed and keeled over? What then? 

"Oh, someone should be guarding this thing!" Ray snapped as Henry walked off to attend to his actual duties, leaving the man to do what he liked. First of all, Ray was gonna keep his sweet girl at arm's length away from the cactus, she was the first person he'd ever want to keep safe, followed by whoever else might follow. 

No one could say that his sense of justice and duty wasn't constant; even out of uniform he felt the need to do the honourable thing and whilst it cut into their date-time, (y/n) didn't have it in her to tell him no. Just seeing him standing there looking all diligent and powerful made her knees wobble. Or perhaps that was because of the earthquake caused by Fran as his feet slapped against the floor when she saw them hovering near the cactus.

"Hey, hey, be careful with that!" She said as if they weren't already aware that the plant was highly dangerous, probably too dangerous for public display, "that there's the world's most poisonous cactus. There's only one in the whole world...and we got it."

"So, don't you think you should be guarding?" Ray asked impatiently and folded his arms, having no time for her bragging or the way she smirked at him with a smouldering look in her eyes when she licked at a cactus-flavoured ice cream cone. Yikes, not another one, but this time, (y/n) didn't have to worry about him running off into the sunset because Fran, well, she wasn't his type. Or anyone's really. 

She was weird and too forward, not to mention the fact that she wasn't (y/n) and Ray Manchester only went for one specific woman these days. He never wanted to be single and ready to mingle again and certainly not with a person like her, she wasn't even sweet to start with.

"I was on an ice cream break," the security guard scoffed at his standoffish behaviour. He obviously liked that thing next to him too much to have a slice of mama's pie but that didn't matter. She'd always be waiting for a guy like him if he ever got bored of a salad with no dressing and preferred a meat feast instead, he could slip by anytime as long as he didn't come with annoying questions like that.

"Didn't this place just open?" Oh, and the tits and teeth could talk, how fascinating. What did he see in her? She was so...plain. Sure, her face was pretty and her body was...fine at best but what did she have to offer that good, old Fran couldn't?

"Yup! I got the first ice cream cone!" She grinned ferociously at (y/n), who instantly got the feeling that this woman was a nut, especially when she took such an obnoxiously large bite of her ice cream that it left a milky-green stain around her lips. And she thought she could date the god walking the Earth that was Ray Manchester? Good luck with that. "Balloons!"

And with that, Fran stomped off to grab herself a cactus-shaped balloon, leaving the hottie and his goldfish girlfriend or whatever to waltz around the exhibit, which wasn't very responsible since almost immediately, the toxic cactus nearly claimed its first victim. Good thing that Captain Man is always ready to save the day, especially when no one else wanted to do the job, that's why he started as a superhero to do the crap that the police couldn't be bothered to do.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" He swooped in like a true hero as a small, adorable boy ran up to the cactus, intent on touching it cause he was still at the age where he couldn't read the sign or understand that you look with your eyes, not with your hands. (y/n)'s heart practically exploded from broody love as he sheltered the curly-haired boy from any harm and ensured that he'd live to touch something else and her heart couldn't take it, not when she was reminded of how great a father he would be. 

"Careful there. Uh, here, why don't you play with this non-poisonous cactus?" Ray suggested with a bright, friendly smile as he passed another cactus to the boy, which still wasn't great but better than him dying. He'd learn about poky things and not suffer dire consequences, whilst (y/n) would have to pick herself up off the floor after seeing him ruffle the boy's fluffy locks and move him away. Be still her beating heart. 

"Run along now...That's nice to see, right, sweet gi—?" Ray turned around with his hands on his hips and a smile on his face as he watched the boy run off to find his parents, and he felt proud to know that he'd done his part to keep yet another citizen of Swellview safe. 

But for (y/n), that kid wasn't just another citizen and that wasn't just another rescue, it was an insight into the future and with a wave of broodiness washing over her, she couldn't help but seize the lapels of his shirt and pull him down into a passionate, breathless kiss before he could even finish his sentence. 

Ray gasped at the bold movement since his girl was never normally so spontaneous with the kisses she gifted him but after a few seconds of stillness and having his eyes open, he melted and curled his arms around her waist as her fingers clutched patterned cloth. Their lips moved roughly against one another as (y/n) couldn't get enough of him, desperate to try and convey everything she felt for him in one kiss. 

"What—what was all that about, sweet girl?" Ray panted breathlessly as she slowly pulled back with love sparkling her eyes and puffy lips at how hard she'd attacked him but she wasn't sorry—not when he looked positively wrecked with his swollen lips and rapid breathing. That had come out of nowhere and whilst he wasn't complaining, he did want to know what he'd done to make her so needy, especially since she was usually so reserved in public places.

"I'm so in love with you, Raymond." She didn't want to explain that she felt the sudden need to jump his bones because of a one-time interaction he'd had with a child. When that scenario ran through her head, it seemed so silly, the sort of thing that was best kept to herself, so she opted to simplify it instead and tell him a boiled-down version of the truth that had his cheeks flushing and she stepped forward to pull him into one her rush-of-affection hugs—the ones that left people with rib cages like dust but warmth in their hearts.

"Well, I'm in love with you too, sweetheart. I love you so much," he grinned and returned the hug with equal strength, even though they were in the middle of a crowd and probably looking a bit weird. A flash of the ring on her finger and the elderlies who frowned at their openness suddenly understood—engaged lovers. They were like that once and it made them smile to see that romance wasn't dead. And there was evidence that romance wasn't gonna die out during the age of the digital divide either—it lived on in the youthful couple who'd just walked through the door.

"Aw, doofus, look at Jasper with Patina. Aren't they cute?" She grinned as he pulled away to subtly turn around. Well, he'd seen his fair share of teenage lovers and whilst he wasn't a romance aficionado like his sweet girl, he knew when kids were crushing bad. Hell, he had it bad right now, that lovesick puppy look on Jasper's face as he carried the air filter for Patina was probably the same look he had on his face when he carried mountains of bags in the mall when he took his fiancée shopping. And neither was ashamed.

"Well, I have to admit that the kid has done all right. Not even Henry thought he was gonna get a date. I sure as hell didn't," Ray admitted as he watched the usually awkward kid walk in like a true gentleman. He was doing everything right; keeping Patina safe and comfortable. It looked like it was going well, especially when that freaky nurse cleared off and left them to explore on their own. And then Henry came in and Jasper still kept his cool, despite the imposing stature that was Kid Danger colliding with his regular-guy one.

"He was so excited yesterday. Kept calling it the "first date of man". Do you remember our first date?" (y/n) giggled and then look up at her doofus as they observed the blossoming love between the boy and girl across the room. No one knew what would happen with Jasper and Patina but it was nice to think of the time when they were like that. 

Well, it was hard to judge the exact time because no one, not even Ray and (y/n), could precisely pinpoint their first date. Was it one of the outings they went on where they were very much in love but before they got together or was it after that fateful day when it was officially called?

"Well, I'd say that our first date was the first time I took you out to dinner. You were wearing that pretty, little black dress and we had steak, I think. I just remember being so nervous because you looked so damn pretty and for the first time in my life, I actually cared about what would happen after we were done eating." Ray confessed to her ear as he hugged her from behind. 

That was the first time he could remember when it had just been the two of them facing each other in a restaurant, giggling and getting drunk on overpriced wine as they swapped childhood stories. The end of the night came and just as they were about to get into his car, he knew he should've kissed her—he certainly wanted to, but he chickened out at the last minute when he thought about that proper date he'd promised the cashier at the grocery store the following night. What a mistake to make.

"Oh, yeah. I remember. You were wearing a shirt that was a size too small and you pulled the chair out to help me in. I was so nervous too because that was so nice of you and I didn't even know how to act, not like the other girls you took out, that's for sure," (y/n) smiled fondly at how she'd nearly spilt the wine down herself three times just by how badly her hands were shaking, not that her "date" said or even noticed. 

That was the first time she could remember putting in so much effort for one guy, picking a dress that was a little too risqué for her and taking a little more time for her hair. The end of the night came and just as they were about to get into his car, she knew she should've kissed him—she definitely wanted to, but she knew that he had a real date the next night with Emily or Elina (or was is Estelle?), so she shook off the thought, deeming it inappropriate. What a mistake to make.

"No, you weren't like them. You were nothing like those other girls. I fell in love with you from the moment I met you and I spent the next ten years wondering how to tell you that." Ray pressed a kiss to her cheek to assure her that whilst she wasn't inferior in any way. That following date had been a disaster, so bad that he'd made an excuse to Ellen, Evangeline (or was it Eileen?) and left early to go home to her. And every date after that had never ended well; once his heart was hooked, it never let go.

"It's okay, doofus. I'll never stop loving you, even if you do wear a size too small shirt to show off," (y/n) reassured him too and grinned when he turned her in his embrace so their lips could meet again, soft and slow this time. 

Only, they never got that far because annoyingly, Ray's phone started to ring. What now? Sighing, the man stepped away from his hot fiancée, who was just begging for her to smother her with kisses and pulled his phone out of his pocket to see the contact. It was Schwoz. Why was he such a damn cockblocker? Every time he barged in on a kiss, on a tender moment, sometimes even in a spicy moment, it was like he sensed inappropriate times.

"Answer it. It could be important." The girl told him as his thumb hovered over the red button because their date had been rather stunted so far so he wanted to keep work away for the next few hours whilst they enjoyed themselves. However, that sense of morality and her knowing smile won him over in the end. She was right, it could be important so, he reluctantly answered the phone in the only way he knew how.

"Wazzzzup?!" "Wazzzzzup?! Like he was in a Budweiser commercial. This wasn't an ordinary phone call despite the jokey tone as the boy exchanged pleasantries as they normally did and (y/n) strained to get her ear next to the receiver as Ray secured an arm around her waist. Henry was patched in too and she frowned at how they were all together for one call. Her tummy didn't like this, something felt...wrong.

"Listen, the Man Cave got hacked!" Schwoz exclaimed and suddenly, all of the good feelings from the date, Jasper's date, that stupid greeting, the general happy atmosphere at Cactus Con, all of it burnt away at that one sentence. 

Instantly, (y/n) felt like she was gonna throw up as Ray yanked her closer so she could hear properly but she couldn't feel it, not even the gentle thrumming of his heartbeat—it nearly always calmed her, but not now. No wonder her tummy had felt something, no wonder it was making her feel all nervous because this was possibly one of the worst things that could happen to them. 

"What? What do you mean we got hacked?! Schwoz?!" The woman practically screeched down the phone, causing the genius and boy on the other lines to wince at how she was freaking out. So much stuff was stored in the computers and all of their systems were controlled through them too. All she wanted to know now was what, how and who had compromised Captain Man's most sensitive databases, which seemed impossible but apparently not.

"We got hacked! You know, someone hacked us!" "I thought you said the Man Cave computer was unhackable!" Ray stated, remembering vividly how Schwoz had strutted around his home like a peacock as he boasted about upgrading their server to be impervious to any attack from a vicious snooper or virus. Not so cocky now that they'd been snooped, and Ray didn't like it, not one bit. He didn't like how vulnerable he was starting to feel, nor how his sweet girl was freaking put, nor how Schwoz seemed to be at a loss. 

"I thought it was but someone did it! And now, every computer in the Man Cave has the same message on the screen!" The small man snapped back, not liking how his past arrogance was coming back to bite him. It was so freaky; one minute he'd been relaxing, just doing the odd job here and there, watching a bit of TV since everyone was out at the convention and then, poof! Their systems—his systems that he'd designed, were being unscrambled and replaced with a creepy message and a strangely familiar yet foreboding logo.

"What did it say?" "It just says, game on! Over and over!" He told Henry as the monitors flashed in the background, so the boy walked over to his boss and panicking friend as they tried to decipher what was the message. Whoever sent it was one cryptic bastard, couldn't they just make their demands without a stupid game?.

"Game on? What does that mean?" "I don't know—" Ray frowned, looking at his sweet girl to see if she had any ideas since she was always so bright and quick-thinking but not even she could work out this puzzle, not yet anyway. But then, they were thrown another scrap to the mystery as the hero got a text. And Henry. And (y/n), which caused her to take her phone from her purse. And Charlotte. In fact, everyone in the room received the same ping in different text tones at the same time, and strangely, they all had the same message.

"Uh, did you guys get this text?" Charlotte whispered to the three as she stared at her phone with a deep frown on her face, but that wasn't the most worrying thing right now. No, the most worrying thing would have to be the correlation between the text and the Man Cave getting hacked because (y/n) would bet her left kidney that it was too big of a coincidence to happen at the same time. That, and the text had an eerie message that just screamed whackjob.

"Yeah... Hello, Swellview..." "I will pay one million dollars to whoever can bring me, the world's most poisonous cactus. Sincerely, R.T." Everyone mumbled under their breath as they read out the peculiar text. It raised a lot of questions, all at once and no one knew where to start. What were they gonna do with the cactus? Who was R.T? One million dollars? What were they planning in general? Y'know, 'cause this all felt very big and as the heroes began theorising about who could be their number one suspect, they didn't see how the crowd were starting to smell money like sharks smell blood.

"Who's R.T?" Henry looked at Ray, whose guess was as good as his, but still, the man gave it his best shot, even if it wasn't particularly good. He'd never really had a chance anyway, not a probable one.

"...Randy Tinklemuffin!" "Who?" Oh, how had the kid not heard of Randy? The guy who must've been bullied in school for a name like that? He was well-known in some circles, mainly the ones that Captain Man and Miss Danger stuck their noses into, just another lowlife but it didn't seem like his style, not when sophisticated computer programming skills and mind-boggling puzzles came into play.

"Nah, it can't be Randy Tinklemuffin, doofus. He's in jail, remember?" (y/n) tried her best to not totally lose it as she looked away from her phone screen and up at her adorable lover. It was a nice shot, but not the right one and playing guessing games wasn't going to help them, not even when it gave her a good excuse to lose herself and her worries in the happy bubble he seemed to create around them.

"Oh, yeah, sweet girl. I don't even know why I said that." "Wait, is that really his name?" Henry asked as Ray grinned down at his girl, who he could see was trying to put on a brave face so he took precautionary measures as kissed her forehead, just as the kid asked his question. It worked a little, (y/n) had a genuine smile on her face now and gladly took his hand when its fingers nudged hers.

"Yeah!" "What?" "I think it's short for Randolph, which doesn't help his case very much 'cause I imagine that school bullies love a kid called—" "Uh, guys? We have bigger problems," Charlotte interrupted their tangent on how Randy's parents must've been evil or something, but she had a very good reason. In the last few moments, the crowd had begun to swarm, forming a hoard around the world's most poisonous cactus. Money makes people do crazy things and it also makes them cruel and uncaring, so even if it was dangerous and a terrible thing to give the mystery man what he wanted, they wanted that damn plant.

"Uh...dude?" Ray suggested to Henry that now might be a good time to flex his superhero status because right now, he couldn't do much about anything. All he could do was keep his precious girl safely tucked behind his shoulder as they backed up a little bit because if this lot charged and rioted, he knew that his probity would be to secure her safety first. 

"Bro?" Henry suggested back, feeling just as scared by what he was facing. They were his problem, the kid knew he had to step up to the plate as Kid Danger on his own and it was safe to say that he was heavily, hilariously outnumbered. Even that pathetic excuse of a security guard was figuratively rubbing her hands together at the thought of an easy payday, so the idea of defending his friends single-handedly was just a tad alarming.

"Okay! Okay! Everybody, calm down! Everybody, calm down! Just...relax!" He started by telling them all to zip it because it was gonna be hard to keep the peace if everyone was shouting over each other. Piper sat on her throne with a curious expression, wondering what the sidekick was gonna do because she was inclined to side with him. As much as she loved the people who'd done nothing but bow, curtesy and grovel at her feet all day, that cactus was Cactus Con property and no one was gonna steal it on her watch—that was just wrong.

"Now, I know that you all want that million dollars some mystery person promised for that cactus," he went on, which caused a lot of miffed comments from the angry mob. Damn straight they wanted the million dollars, they were just normal people who had to work hard for a living and to get that much money, all they had to do was take one plant and punch a few people in the process. Who wouldn't do that? 

Well, neither Ray, (y/n) nor Charlotte would since they were standing behind Henry and were feeling pretty intimidated right now, so god knows how he was feeling. And then, there was Patina and Jasper to think about too since they were cowering at the back of the room, worried about the bubble-suit being damaged if there was a stampede. So many problems, so few Kid Dangers to sort them out.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!" Fran yelled above her fellow potential thieves, vying for the attention because being the slightly terrible person she was, she wasn't afraid to bend the rules or jump sides to make it in life, "Kid Danger's right!"

"Thank you," Henry really shouldn't have got his hopes up. That uniform was just a lie.

"This cactus is worth a lot of money. Now, let's get it!" She yelled, causing the boy to freak out internally when he realised that she was the instigator of a charge for one million bucks. Without missing a beat as the crowd began to close in, Henry grabbed the laser control from the back of his belt and fired a quick succession of plasma at the ground so that everyone who pushed forward was then pushed back.

"Uh-oh! Daddy wants the big piece of chicken tonight!" He smirked at the crowd as he wiggled his beloved control between his fingers, thanking Schwoz for inventing what was arguably his most useful gadget. Still, it couldn't keep back the crowd forever, not even when he zapped a few more people back since they were getting close to the cactus.

"Man, sure would be nice to have Captain Man here right about now. Or Miss Danger, she's pretty useful too..." Charlotte hinted subtly, trying to make it seem like she wasn't addressing the heroes themselves but then again, no one was listening as they were either working on a plan to get rich quick or avoiding being a human sprinkler. However, whilst (y/n) got the hint and opened her mouth to say something about waiting for the opportune moment, Ray was not so brainy when it came to subtlety, so when the superheroine was mentioned, all he wanted to do was dream about her in uniform. And out of it, to be honest.

"Yeah, she's pretty. And smart. And sweet. And hot. So freakin' hot. Honestly, she's the best and y'know, I get to marry—" 

"Raymond..." "Think it through..." Charlotte's dry tone contrasted (y/n)'s sing-song intonation as the girl rolled her eyes whilst the woman blushed, still flustered by her fiancé's brazen compliments even after well over a year of dating.

"Oh, yeah! Right...she's still hot, though" He suddenly realised what the girl was driving at and found himself being dragged through the crowd before he even knew what was happening. He would never take back what he said, but now wasn't the time, not when the crowd was closing in on Henry, who desperately needed some help, so with everyone not looking, they began to search for a nook or cranny where they could hide, but in a large, open hall, it was a challenge.

"What's everyone waiting for?" Fran asked the mob as she wondered why no one was attacking. Of course, she wasn't gonna attack first, that would be stupid since she was planning on relying on the old theory of safety in numbers, but she couldn't for the life of her work out why no one else was taking the plunge. Could it possibly be that like her, no one wanted to be hurt by Kid Danger's lasers if they singled themselves out?

"He's got a zappy thingy!" "Yeah, but there's a lot of us and only one of him!" She pointed out as a skinny tiddler of a man whined at the thought of being stung and even recoiled to her disgust. Fran knew that if everyone went at once, there was no way that the boy could take them all, which would be her chance to throw her weight around, land a few punches and wrestle her way to being a millionaire before anyone knew what was happening in the chaos. Well, that was the plan anyway, but luckily, Piper wasn't gonna let it be so easy for her and her heinous plans.

"Wrong! There's two of him!... Us!... Shut up!" The Cactus Queen leapt down from her throne and nobly stood alongside her secret sidekick brother in an alliance forged to defend the world's most poisonous cactus from any fool who dare try his hand to lift it. 

She tapped her staff twice on the ground to tell her rebellious subjects that she meant to attack if any one of them came too close—that way they'd find the cactus on the end of it in their faces if they weren't careful. Fran thought she had Kid Danger in checkmate but she forgot one very important rule - the queen holds the most power on the board.

"Come at me, bro!" Ah, yes. Words to go down in the history books for being so damn queenly. Still, they made a good team as the girl threatened the security guard and the rest of the crowd with her pointy staff as Henry lasered at a few more people, jabbing to keep them all back from their ward but things weren't going so smoothly for the other heroes in the room.

"There's too many people here!" Ray exclaimed as he, his sweet girl and Charlotte made it to the other side of the room behind the crowd but even with most eyes of the fight, it was impossible to find somewhere safe to transform into their uniform. They couldn't help if they weren't their alter-egos, but neither could they leave him and Piper to be mauled so they were stuck floundering.

"Yeah, we can't transform without a place to hide! Seriously, why can't our dates ever be normal?" (y/n) agreed as she scanned the room for a closet door or a curtain to hide behind but there was nothing but flimsy stalls and nosy people in the room. So far, the date at Cactus Con hadn't been a roaring success but at least they were still together and hey, no one could say that it had been boring.

"Go like this and (y/n), stand in front of Ray!" Charlotte told them quickly as she demonstrated what looked like some kind of funky yoga pose to the couple—perhaps a weird tree pose with one arm crooked in the air and the other on her hip. It didn't make much sense but there was no time to have a debate, let alone time to think it over.

"What are we doing here?" "Well, I'm just confused—ohhhhh, nice!" Ray frowned as he copied the pose and watched as his lover was shoved in front of him in the same position, which only deepened his questions until Charlotte began to shove them into the corner of the room. All was made clear as they were shrouded in the shadow of a large, fake cactus, which was big enough to cover both of them as they transformed with a quick blow of a bubble and nothing more than a swift flash of light being shown to the crowd, who were not even looking anyway.

"Okay, we'll go help Henry. You, take this zapper," Ray sniffed and gingerly handed his laser control to Charlotte so that whilst he and his fiancée were throwing fists, she could give them some anonymous cover fire from a safe distance, "Now, let me Captain Man-splain to you how that works," Yeah, it really wasn't a good idea to patronise Charlotte, not when he'd just handed her a painful weapon—all his ignorant comment resulted in was a spot of plasma to the stomach. Serves him right.

"I think she knows, doofus. Now, come on! These people are getting crazy!"  (y/n) tugged him away before he could run his mouth anymore and it was a good thing too. The crowd had been getting so impatient and frustrated with Henry and Piper that they'd taken to throwing lumps of cactus at them, which wasn't very nice because y'know, cacti are spiky and sharp and ouchy.

"Throw more. Cactus are his weakness!" And of course, Fran was right in there seeing that like any normal human, Henry didn't like the idea of being a pin cushion. But with her order, the people soon started to get the idea and the war ramped up, pelting Henry with cactus leaves that took all of his super-fast reflexes to dodge. For Piper, it meant she had to be pretty good at baseball as she whacked away any bits that came near her but still, it could be worse, she could be Jasper. 

The boy had nobly opted to protect Patina and her suit from any punctures by acting as a human meat shield, which was very gallant as he took every cactus that came their way but his eyes were starting to water.

"Look! There's only one of him again!" Fran yelled after Piper had screamed and charged at a group to clear them out of the building, but a few stupid ones stayed behind to try and swipe the cactus anyway, leaving Henry to nervously look at them all since he'd struggled when he had a friend, now he was on his own. Or not.

"Wrong! There's three of him! Us..." "Shut up!" Ray and (y/n) couldn't help but feel so cool and so dumb as they skidded into the spots by Henry's sides, standing shoulder to shoulder with him so that they could take on the crowd together. Well, this was a more even chance now, they had Captain Man on their side and Miss Danger, who were more than one fighter each so even Fran had to think twice about whether or she wanted to try and attack the famed heroes. But then again, she wanted that money too and money always pays out.

"Dude, that cactus is worth a million bucks! You're standing between me and buying a moose!" She exclaimed before turning to her fellow rioters for one last offence, "now, come on, they can't stop all of us. Mama wants a moose!" She yelled and the hoard ran forward. Fran didn't get very far though, not when Ray used a strong kick to the gut to send her flying back, which may or may not have been fuelled by that repulsive flirting from earlier. 

Henry punched a few, (y/n) tripped a few and kicked their butts as they fell and Ray body-slammed a few more as he left his sidekicks to work together. Just because Ray Manchester was protective didn't mean Captain Man didn't know the strength of Miss Danger.

"Kid, watch o—arghhhh!" (y/n) should've worried about her own affairs as a kid jumped on her from behind as two more took Henry down, causing Ray's eyes to bug out in worry as both of his sidekicks were overwhelmed. Okay, maybe he was still quite protective but he had stuff to do too, such as beating up the punk who tried to slug him once or twice. Henry had to contend with a freaky lady who had cacti for nunchucks, which pushed his superpower to its limits just so he didn't have his eyes scratched out.

"Leave...him...alone!" Miss Danger cried as she tackled a woman who was thumping Ray's back as he struggled with a guy who'd jumped on top of him. The relief was only momentary but it was enough for him to throw down the man and help his sweet girl up with a gracious smile before they returned to the action and luckily, the crowd was definitely thinning out now.

There were only a few desperate ones left, the crazy ones who still hadn't managed to swipe the cactus from the stand yet and a few final punches sorted them out, and that left the heroes to slowly back into each other, panting and exhausted. They gasped when their backs touched, fearful that they were someone else coming to beat them up, but there was no one else to fight. Thank god. Everyone had learned their lessons, which meant they could breathe a sigh of relief.

"You okay, sweet girl?" Ray asked on a long sigh, his fingers brushing the underside of her chin so she'd look up and he could check for "injuries". There never was and there'd never be any injuries but (y/n) couldn't help but smile up at his caring words, even when they'd all just been in a fight and all deserved someone fawning over them He couldn't help it, not when he'd been so cruelly denied a date with her, not that it mattered. What they'd got had been good enough.

"Fine, doofus. Just fine," she replied, leaning up on her tippy toes to brush their lips together, which she blamed on the pos-battle adrenaline but Henry knew better. Just as they went in with perfectly practised execution, however, a squeaky groan from the floor made them jump, break apart and spin around to see what else wanted to attack them. It wasn't though, it was just Jasper, who squeaked with every step he took because his entire body was covered in the cacti that he'd shielded Patina from. At least it pleased her, right?

"Jasper, you were amazing! And I'd hug you but those needles would puncture my suit..." "I get it..." And they say romance is dead. They were the epitome of the modern couple, weird yet strangely devoted.

"Uh, here, Captain Man. You...dropped this during the fight," Charlotte butted in and threw the laser control back to Ray as if she was merely a concerned citizen, not the one who'd been backup for the heroes. It had been fun whilst it lasted but she wasn't cut out for the hero life; seriously, how did (y/n) enjoy this?

"Oh, uh, thanks, girl I don't know..." Ray was still gracious enough to give her a subtly grateful smile as he took back his weapon, which was good enough for the girl since she knew that he couldn't thank her properly in front of Patina but it would do for her. After all, it was as good as it got with Ray and thank yous, plus, they had more important things to worry about.

"We did it..." Henry smiled in relief, knowing that they'd each done their job and protected the world's most poisonous cactus from whichever weirdo wanted it for themselves.

"Yes, we did. We saved the citizens of Swellview once again." "Yeah, by punching them in the face..." (y/n) countered, feeling like they hadn't protected society when most of the people who'd visited the convention were now lying on the floor in a fit of pain from being beaten up. Oh well, they'd asked for it by trying to steal the cactus, it was only right that they'd faced justice for behaving like animals. At least that was the way Ray saw it.

"Aw, come on, precious girl...victory dance!" He grinned when he started to shuffle and ended up making her laugh with his funny moves. It wasn't exactly a traditional victory dance but it was kooky and weird enough to suit Ray down to the ground, especially when he was egged on by his friends to take it to the next level.

"Do a backflip!" "Oh, I don't know, man..." Ray wasn't sure he could pull that off, even though he had been training and practising for the last few days. Still, if he could do it, how impressive would that be? He already had his fiancée laughing and smiling at how cute his dancing was, what would she say to his backflip? If his reaction to hers was anything to go by, then perhaps the date wouldn't be such a bummer.

"Don't think about it, just do it!" "You think I can do it?" "I know you can do it! Come on, Miss Danger's watching, do it!" Henry egged him on, seeing how Charlotte nudged the woman watching just to tease her further because everyone knew that the hero was only attempting it in public because she was there. She made the perfect audience and was excited to see if he could do it or not because her planned reward would make up for all the shittiness of the day that had left their plans in ruin.

"Okay, I'm flipping! Here I go!" Ray took a deep breath and just went for it, using everything he'd learnt in the past few days about rotation, balance and gravity to curl in the air perfectly and to his surprise, to his friends' surprise, to everyone's surprise, he didn't fall, he didn't land flat on his face and he didn't look like an idiot. He looked like a guy who'd just landed a backflip perfectly. 

He grinned with a shocked expression on his face as Henry and Charlotte clapped his success and (y/n) took a more...enthusiastic approach; her arms wound around his neck and she pulled him in for a much deeper kiss than they'd shared before, causing Ray to feel so damn proud that he'd managed to pull it off because the way she energetically moved their lips together made it all worth it.

So worth it that when they parted and he clumsily knelt to grab the laser control that had dropped from his hand, he was on cloud nine so bad as his eyes stayed on her pretty face that he didn't even realise that he'd pressed the button until it was too late. A blue laser zipped across the room and melted a tiny hole in Patina's bubble-suit, causing everyone to freeze and gasp instantly as the pressure left the suit and all of those evil unfiltered particles flooded in.

"Uh-oh..." "Patina, your suit!" "Forget the suit, what about my tongue?!" The girl whined in panic as instantly, her tongue swelled up to what resembled a strawberry and quickly, (y/n), Henry and Charlotte found themselves by her side to see if she was all right as Ray awkwardly put the control away. Right, she wasn't kidding about that allergy thing and if (y/n) had ever seen one, that had to be a severe allergic reaction. Just from the air? Jeez, she had it rough.

"Oh, sweet cheese, she's not gonna be able to breathe soon," The woman told Henry as Patina's mouth struggled to fit all of that tongue in there and it was only a matter of time before her airways would close up and she suffocated. And they didn't want a dead person on their hands, that would be a tragic way to end the day.

"Oh, can someone take me to the hospital? Miss Danger?" The girl looked at the heroine hopefully as the teens looked at Ray since this was all technically his fault. Plus, he was the other adult in this situation, as hard as that was to believe and (y/n) needed all of the help she could get since Patina wasn't in any fit state to walk. Henry had done a great job of protecting her, he should do the President next.

"Captain Man? A little assistance, please?" "Yeah, sweet girl. I got you..." Ray nodded, unable to leave his girl or Patina alone to sort things out so he accepted the blame and stepped forward to pick the patient up bridle style, that way they could easily take her to the Man Van with Jasper trailing behind. He might want to see a doctor too, those cacti looked pretty painful and it wasn't like his date could go any further now that his crush was on the verge of dying.

"Nice, shot, bro," Charlotte stated sarcastically as she watched her boss carry Patina for a few steps with (y/n) tittering about keeping her head safe. The last thing they needed was to bash her against the wall or something and focusing on getting to the hospital should've been their number one priority but as always, Ray couldn't help but brag just a bit.

"Yeah, but that backflip, though!" "Doofus! Out the door!" (y/n) snapped and shoved him towards the exit as she heard Patina's wheezing get worse and she only prayed that they wouldn't waste any more time in getting her to an epi-pen or something. Jasper was waddling behind them with the air filter, which was pretty useless at this point but there was no doubt that Schwoz would want it back for repairs so they piled everything into the van, leaving Henry and Charlotte alone in the convention hall.

"Good job." "Thanks..." Henry didn't mind a bit of praise now that the work was finished, but he couldn't help but think that his friend deserved some too, "Hey, good work with that laser!" To be fair, it had been pretty sick.

"Thanks! I really enjoyed zapping people!" "And we saved the world's most poisonous cactus—is gone," Henry trailed off when he looked across to see the prize that they'd managed to save, only to see that in the confusion of the battle or the relief of the aftermath, no one had managed to notice that the plant had been stolen. Shit. 

The stand was empty and all that was left behind what a tiny, white business card with a strange logo printed on the back, meaning that any praise they'd given themselves was premature. They stormed over to see what the card was, Charlotte picking it up with a confused look on her face because she prided herself on being quite observant and she hadn't noticed anything, not one suspicious person. Thank god, (y/n) and Ray weren't here to see this, they'd go nuts and the former would probably have a heart attack. No, they needed to discover this one alone, but it only worked to make the mystery deeper.

"What's it say?" "Thanks for the cactus. Game on." It was that same taunt again. The one that had appeared in the Man Cave, it was the same logo that had been seemingly following them everywhere they went, not that anyone noticed. Whatever this was, whatever was gonna happen, whoever was planning something, the team had to be ready for it because something was coming. It had to be the card, the monitors, R.T had said so.

Game on.

[snifflesthemouse]

Final Post before I go... to remind some of you exactly who this author is...

I am a recovering addict who has almost a decade clean and serene. I know, without a doubt, I am a HORRIBLE wretched human being. I lived with a narcissistic murder/psychopath before prison, and then I lived with all kinds of them IN PRISON. I walked past meaner, more dangerous people to go poop or shower than anyone behind a screen here. I have lived life. I'm nowhere near a narcissist. You have no idea who I actually am, you only see what I construct for you to see to protect my own identity.

Saying I am a narc because people are having trouble following my very long, drawn out posts is stupid. Clarification isn't indicative of being a narc. So literally every single YT channel or anyone wanting to find a different medium for further clarification is a narc then? I think not. I think most of you pick up words and repeat them without thinking of the true connotation of the word's meaning

Really, right now, I am just thinking out loud to myself about why I am attracting dumb people here all of a sudden.

Calling me names, calling any person like me names, only makes me laugh. It's cute to me. When people call me names or say things like they have some authority... it only shows me their water levels... and boy the drought is upon us!

When you've spent the first two decades of your life conning people and putting thousands of dollars up your nose or in a vein, you get to know people. Truly see the worst society has to offer. My cellie in prison stabbed her best friend 72 times. 72. We ate lunch every day together. She was a narc.

OH, FYI... A water level is someone's mental capacity in the con world. I embrace critically thinking people who can form a thought and express it without being like me deep down inside. If you are NOT like me, you are a good person. I am not a good person. DUH.

Deep down inside, I want to show my true colors. I want to be nasty. I want to skulldrag people sometimes. I don't though, because the old ways bring back the old me. I've worked too hard in the real world and I know my real world worth.

I don't owe anything to anyone. I try to be nice and not read the comments, or even my messages. But eff all that.

If you think for one second I am not aware of how terrible a person I was, you are stupid. I know better than you all could ever...

If you feel the need to say something rude, think twice. Please. I won't be held responsible for what comes off my keyboard next if you bring it to me first.

Let's just say I've said it all about myself at least 10x as bad before and 10x worse. I've said it MANY TIMES BEFORE but it seems people are too lazy to get a clue before commenting anymore.

I DON'T WANT YOU CRAPPY READERS AS BAD AS YOU CRAPPY READERS DON'T WANT THIS CRAPPY WRITER. So GTFOH.

That is all, folks.

Well, not really... Truth is I write things, I post them and walk off and live. I took my drug addiction and turned it into an empire where I am retired. I don't make money here. I've never once received shit, even though people quote my work all the fucking time. Funny. What's even funnier is how you can post real shit with real proof and people still be like "WhAt DoEs It MeAn?!?" They believe dumb shit about fucking reptiles but not common sense logic or real proof. I don't want fucking morons around me or on my page. If that statement bothers you... go ahead and block me. I don't block people because I don't ever read anything from hardly anyone else. I read a few blogs I Know and trust. But that's it.

I used to care that this blog was growing. That it had thousands of followers. That I still to this day haven't been able to follow everyone back because of the limits daily. I used to think being nice and just ignoring the rude people was the thing to do, because hey at least they read and you made them think... that's all an author wants. Readers to think... harder, differently, whatever. JUST FUCKING THINK.

SO yeah... do with that what you will. Because this author will continue to do whatever the fuck this mouse wants. This mouse isn't like some Yter or some blogger begging for cuppas and tips. I got cash, and I got ass. I don't get shit for shit. It is my hobby. I'd get it if one of yall paid a motherfucking bill sometime. I might listen. But I do bad all by myself.

DONE

[st-just]

First Real Con™ (-ish. Like, still pretty small, but) Experiences, in roughly chronological order

-Went to a fun cosmic horror 'panel' that was just Premee Mohamed bleary-eyed off the plane on a Friday afternoon. Had never really heard of her before but was good panel, ended up buying her book to get signed

-Went to a D&D worldbuilding panel that was just, like, Some Guys talking and a physically painful Q&A session

-Got a fishbowl cocktail with 3 shots in it and dinner at Boston Pizza with friends (The pasta was honestly more of a mistake than the liquor).

-Spent an hour waiting in line Saturday morning despite already having my lanyard

-Went to a panel where a professional Viking Nerd just kind of rambled and answered questions of wildly varying quality for an hour and a half, then bought a copy of his personal illustrated translation/retelling of the Edas because hey why not

-Spent like 2 hours wandering around the vendor hall and spending a truly eye watering amount of money on [dice, mouse pad with cool print on it, many many posters, t-shirts, necklace, etc]

-Watched a pair of circus performers put on a ring/aerial dance/acrobatics routine set to the soundtrack of Ocarina of Time, was left acutely aware of how little core strength I have (ran into them outside the Con after too, they were nice and have very pretty business cards)

-Watched the local SCA chapter put on 45 minutes of sparring bouts and medieval dances

-Forgot to buy separate ticket to 19+ red carpet cocktail thing so went to gin distillery three blocks form apartment with friends who didn't have tickets for evening

-Spent at least two hours wandering around gawking at cosplayers (pleasantly surprising number of Gideons and also one Harrow, a truly incredible Aloy, an adorable couple and their kid dressed up as the Forgers, etc)

-Attended panel about how to do horror in TTRPGS (read: D&D) by Some Guy (well, Girl) that was actually pretty interesting. Presenter said her background was in event management which made sense given the super well organized powerpoint and the clear discomfort with public speaking.

-Played a few incredibly niche boardgames I had never heard of (the licensed Portal boardgame: surprisingly not shit!)

-Did swing dancing demo and actually had a lot of fun/managed to not terminally embarrass myself

-aaand finished off attended an actual multi-person panel with Premee Mohamed and T. J. Klune talking about worldbuilding which was, like, 75% just watching two fun charismatic people riff off/take the shit out of each other and was 100% an absolute blast.

[nostalgia-tblr]

DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT!! :O

This is the first fic I have ever actually tagged with the infamous 'Dead Dove: Do Not Eat' tag! I did so because this one is very, very dub-con to the point where I spent some time debating whether it really is only 'dubious' but… eh. 'Chose Not To Warn' as well to cover myself just in case I was wrong about the answer to that question.

Once again I sent Loki and Sylvie to Sakaar and once again something bad happened to them. Or to one of them at least. (That place is just Planet Dubcon really at this point.)

Title: soak my skin in alcohol (until I feel untouchable) (AO3) Fandom: Loki (TV 2021), MCU Rating: Mature Pairing: Grandmaster/Loki (wee bits of Loki/Sylvie and Loki/Mobius) Wordcount: ~2600 Additional Tags: Extremely Dubious Consent, (like right on the cusp of non-con levels of dubiousness), Drugged Sex, Drink Spiking, Sexual Coercion, it’s pretty much blackmail really, Confusion, Sleepy/Unconscious Sex, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Sakaar (Marvel), The Grandmaster Is A Terrible Person, Sylvie is barely in this btw, (that’s part of the plot I suppose), and Mobius isn’t even real, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Alcohol, Hallucinations, slight praise kink

(Summary/Extract is below the cut because as I said it's very very dubcon so I'm erring on the side of caution.)

The Grandmaster reaches across the table and taps his fingertips on the back of Loki’s hand a few times before replacing those taps with a slow, stroking motion.

“You have such nice skin,” he says. “Is it all like that? So soft and…” He sighs. “It’s very touchable, has anyone ever told you that?”

Loki puts on his most apologetic expression. “Look, Grandmaster, obviously I’m flattered by your attention, but I can’t… commit to anything right now and…”

The Grandmaster withdraws his hand and sits back in his chair. “Well, that’s, uh… that’s disappointing.” His expression changes to a more speculative one. “Hey, that friend of yours… do you think she’d…?” He leaves the question hanging, a raised eyebrow emphasising the query. But it’s not a question, not really. It’s a statement, and Loki hears the subtext only too well: It’s you or her. Choose.

Not too long ago he’d have seen this an opportunity to extricate himself from the situation, would have offered up absolutely anyone in his place without even a moment’s hesitation. A lot has changed recently though, and now it seems that he has gained the unfortunate and unhelpful desire to keep the people he cares for safe from harm.

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

I’m still not sure I should have gone to the Herring Festival.

I mean, I know why I always do it. The town has less than 500 people and this is our only event of the year. Since I am so financially trapped here, this was my one time for human interaction type fun until the Greenville Comic Con in August (assuming I can afford it by then). I’d have regretted not going. Dang, though, it has left me feeling so depressed!

It’s a lonely thing when you are on your own. I watched the parade from the front yard, and someone actually stopped, holding up the parade, to ask about Mom. That’s nice, but that was the only reason people wanted to talk to me. I walked up and down the street selling tacky junk, fried food, rides on creepy rickety carnival rides**, and a stage playing country rock and gospel (and the national anthem at least three times, complete with uniformed soldiers). And folks would say “How’s your Mom?” but that would be that for conversation.

Let me just say, I hate that thing where you are talking to someone, and when someone else shows up they just start talking to the other person, ignoring you totally. You are dismissed now that the important person is there. Well, at least royalty would have decency to say “You are dismissed”. These folks just turn away while you are mid sentence and never look at you again. It happened so much today I got so I dreaded it every time I spoke to someone. I finally reached the point I’d sort of sigh and expect it.

I’m not one of them. We all know it. I’ve lived here all my life, but I’m not related to them and I don’t go to any of their churches. I’m not part of any of their clans. Friendly but not friends, I always call it.

I did get to talk to two people. One was a woman selling sea glass jewelry. She wasn’t from around here, and was only there as a favor to someone. The other was my neighbor, but as his parents live in Massachusetts he’s lucky he and his wife didn’t move here a few decades ago. The neighbors never let Pop forget he was from “Mass– a— TWOOOOO-sets”. They both told me so much about themselves that it was rather astonishing. I can talk to people that aren’t from around here.

That said, both of them for in better than me. Heck, when I told my neighbor how I hated feeling trapped here, missing getting to go places, he laughed and said I’d get used to it and told me how nice the place was. People around here are always baffled, and sometimes even offended, by me saying I’m NOT here because I love the town. it’s the greatest place in the world, they say.

Yeah, if you can belong. Right religion, right politics, right interests….

Speaking of religion, funny how they make it infuse everything. A stand for a women’s hunting organization had biblical quotes posted. Everything is religion here.

That sure didn’t help me feel I belong. Not a Christian, and if they knew I was agnostic it would probably cause a fuss. I’d be the first to be burned at the stake if they ever get riled enough.

So alone, and too poor to buy anything, I came back to the house. On a whim, I wanted to open my dressing table drawer and go through my old treasures. Unfortunately the drawer was broken, the bottom having come lose from the rest. I spent an hour crawling around trying to get it open from underneath, when in the gap created at the front of the drawer something fell out….

$20!!!!

I know I should have saved it, but it felt like a gift from my past self, the one with family and friends and dreams. She would want me to have some fun.

I took the money back down the street and bought a cheap little bracelet from the woman selling sea glass jewelry and a funnel cake (bagged against the crazy winds). I may not be able to buy friends to hang out with but I can buy a silly piece of jewelry I will never have much opportunity to wear and something that’s all deep fried and sugar dusted. It made the day feel less hollow (and my stomach too full).

But generally, I feel so damned lonely around people. Not in cities where I don’t know anyone, but my local community where I feel like I am SUPPOSED to belong.

Two hours from now the fireworks start. (Doesn’t seem wise with the wind!) I’ll sit on the Burras House porch alone, oohing and ahhing and taking bad photos. I’d rather have company, but I guess fireworks alone is better than no foreworks.

**Disney would have a field day with the giant banners with badly drawn versions of Marvel characters they had at the rides!

[squeemcsquee]

PeoriaCon 2024

This year, PeoriaCon had a venue change. They took over one of the expo halls at the Peoria Civic Center. And I think that was probably the right idea. It wasn't quite the wall of sound of prior years and it gives a lot more space for walking around and shopping. You're still somewhat limited on food if you want to stay at the Civic Center all day, however.

We went on Sunday - this was Baby's First Convention for our newborn, and Sunday meant (theoretically) fewer people, less time away from home, etc. @lechevaliermalfet and I are first-time parents, so we're still adapting to taking the baby out in public for things that aren't doctor appointments.

I thought I'd gotten a photo of the schedule of events for the day, but it seems I was mistaken. So I downloaded it from Facebook - but we didn't actually attend any panels.

We spent a lot of PeoriaCon wandering around, talking to friends. @someoldmemory was on hand with her wife, our friend Josh and his wife were there, Cody was there, and others. There were also vendors that we were familiar with and stopped to chat with.

We did enter a giveaway for an incredible amount of stuff, but sadly, none of us won.

Entry was free, so even though most of the prizes in the hoard weren't of interest to me specifically, can you blame me for trying for it? Look at all of that loot! I could have gifted so much to friends or traded in for store credit or sold...

Anyway, moving on...

The Ghostbusters were on hand, as was a Batmobile that had been lovingly created by a dedicated fan. Spook Hollow were on hand with their booth and photo op setup, so @someoldmemory took a photo with her wife.

There was tabletop gaming and video gaming. We paid to enter a different drawing for some kickass dice towers, but again, failed to win. But the proceeds from the sweepstakes went to charity, so that's ok. There was also a lot of nice fanmade merchandise for sale.

You gotta have at least one sword vendor at a con - I really feel like that's an unwritten rule at events now.

The Civic Center has always had overpriced snack bars, but now one of them is run by Avanti's, which is a local fast casual Italian restaurant chain. So we were able to grab a tasty lunch from them as the day was starting to draw to a close. It's a good thing we grabbed it when we did, because they closed the booth shortly after we got our food. We saw the crowd around the youth cosplay contest, but not the contest itself.

Overall, it was a good day - an inexpensive outing where we got to have adult interactions and conversation that revolved around more than just dirty diapers and bottles. Oh, and our daughter slept through all of it until lunchtime, at which point, she had a bottle and grumped for a few minutes.

After lunch, the con was starting to shut down. We ate about 1 and went back in about 2 and the con was due to close at 3, so that made sense.

So our final hour was largely spent doing what we'd done already. And playing a little bit of Pokemon Go.

I look forward to next year.

[vampirevalentineblog]

October 25 2023

ok! hello! back to regular blogging. if you weren't aware i'm now hosting the old blog on tumblr so this should be easier for me to update than manually adding to the html and dealing with archiving past posts. best part is you can barely tell save for the photos are handled a bit odd now o_<;;

so i'd like to catch up on errrrr Feb to October LOL a whole year practically. lets see what i've been up to...

did wondercon in Anaheim, uh then KawaiiKon in Hawaii. spent some extra time there afterwards as well, I always enjoy snorkeling ^_^ you regularly see many turtles but i even saw a pufferfish! honolulu is nice and walkable if you've got sun protection! plus lots of other people also walk around with a parasol so nobody heckles you for it (like where I live :|||) their bus service is decent as well. i had a pretty greasy plate lunch the first day i was there so it had my stomach upset like, the whole time ;_; did an escape room with friends for the first time that was pretty fun! unfortunately kawaiikon's moved to being juried and apps are not even open yet ??? so no guarantees i'll be back next year :/

also did another Las Vegas con, it was meh. i don't care for the organizers of this one they steal art for their advertising, overcharge for tables, and then put us next to a loud ass stage. don't like that! i'd already done Omegamart the year before but i was staying in Freemont which i've never visited. i'll be back very soon and hopefully get to Nevada early enough in the day to visit Goodsprings bc you know I am a New Vegas girlie ehehe. also did an Anime Impulse back in Anaheim. I usually don't care for them for the same reasons as those other organizers but at least the crowd is better! this past january one they stuck us in a leaky barn ;_; for the table price its pretty ridiculous but i always come back despite it all because the attendees treat me well lmao

left off with pins last time, but since then got shirts made! there's two designs, my "fallen angel" girlie and my cherubim design.

you can see them off to the side there, this is my booth Colossalcon East in Pennsylvania this September. super fun! great con, lovely weeby people in PA! along the top you can also see some of my new big prints i made in like 3 weeks. just drawing drawing drawing -w-!! this con i also got to meet Grey DeLise/Griffin and she signed my Azula print for me hehe <3

my plane ride home got delayed for thunder which was stressful bc immediately after i had a flight to Japan! eek! this was my second time going this year. i had been in 2022 right when it reopened to tourists so it was a much different experience this time, wayy more tourists about. ended up arriving right at the peak of a heat wave i took it easy though just doing some figure shopping and enjoying the food. i love family restaurants there so much lmfao they're so good and cheap. also met up with a friend from all the way back in middle school who also happened to be in shibuya the same night ??? made her and her partner go to Denny's with us later on lol! also visited Odaiba and Hakone this time on my birthday! Hakone is where Evangelion's Tokyo-3 is meant to be based in so they've got their own EVA store. I got a Unit 02 strawberry drink thing, should have got the matcha-taro swirl Unit 01 soft serve icecream >:)

got back and did some house keeping up until i found out there's a halloween party! i made a very quick costume out of stuff i had lying around. only spent like 5$ for some plastic fake chains. here's my alice (sans chains ofc) i made that apron in like a day out of an old pillowcase -w-;;; i don't sew much!! maybe i would be good at it if i bought plenty of fabric and followed instructions but we'll never know because i only try it out to make something silly with no pattern using scraps all in 1 day and then i get fed up and start using hot glue and hem tape. as one does! its got a little bow in the back too but i had no interfacing so its just a piece of printer paper giving it shape. this is what halloween is about!!

please ignore the background i'm in the middle of painting my bathroom lol

up next i've got Sin City Anime in Las Vegas and Kumoricon in Portland. i like these two, completely different vibe and size but Sin City was cozy last year (they've since moved soo well see ??) and Kumori has some interesting people lmfao. i will see you guys at the swap meet +w+!! for sin city they asked if i'd be interested in an extra free booth for the 18+ lounge event and i was like ok sure why not and come to find i'm like one of 5 tables??? i don't know how it'll go over but whatever its something to do! i will have my tres leches cows and some new ones...here's a preview!

whole milk is soOoO popular i'm so happy lmfao he is for the girls and the gays <3 i've got to do some more boys....its what the people want. maaybe a whipped cream to go with whipping ? ^_^ <3!

alright that's all for now! ttyl!

[mirika]

This is the first time I went to Dutch Comic Con for only one day due to financial reasons, but I still had a lot of fun!

Day one. I went on the Saturday only. I went in my Ladybug outfit, but because I really did not want to bring a coat at all, I slapped a Christmas sweater underneath it and wore trousers beneath my skirt. It looked stupid, but you know what? I didn’t care.

I saw so many Genshin Impact cosplay that I actually made a checklist (I had to use paimon.moe so have fun staring at my constellations).

I wrote in Alhaitham cuz he is not a playable character yet, but I caught him buying boba tea. I added question marks on some, because I wasn’t sure, I might’ve mistaken them for someone else.

OH and I didn’t even write down Signora... but it’s okay, cuz I took a photo with her!

I had to let a stranger take the photo, so it was rushed and messy, haha. On the right is La Signora, a gorgeous and evil fatui woman, and on my left is Tartaglia with a custom variant on his outfit, I really liked their take on it! 

Other than that I did not take photos with any of the other cosplay, but it is what it is. 

We were mostly shopping all day, I am sad we found the artist alley so late because it is my favourite place to be, and apparently one of my favourites was having their last time at Comic Con and I didn’t even know, I wish I said hi. :( But it is what it is.

I was actually overwhelmed by how popular Genshin Impact really is, there was a lot. Not just cosplay, but also merch. I still hate that I saw body-pillows of some child characters, but ugh, it is what it is. I also always feel weird and awkward around people who have the same favourite character as me? Is that odd? But it’s okay, I got some merchandise of my favourite... when you think you were done whaling on him, there is always more..;. forgive me father, for I have ‘simped’ (this term is meant as a joke).

You see the dude I have 3 buttons, 2 charms and 1 sticker of? That’s my favourite character of Genshin Impact lol. I did not buy every single thing I saw, I can get picky with art depicted of him. The one where he blushes, I like that his blush is heart-shaped. His name is Kazuha... but I also bought a button of Tighnari because I really liked how it turned out, very nice art. Sadly I forgot to look at many other favourites such as Albedo, Rosaria... and Layla is just too new to have merch of (I saw one button and it didn’t look nice enough for my taste).

As you can see, I also have a notepad of The Witcher, I love that Geralt looks so annoyed at whatever the fuck Jaskier is saying. I put the Kazuha sticker in the chat bubble, because it was from the same artist.

Let me zoom out a bit.

The box contains a Digimon TCG playmat (PB-04 if you want to google it, it has Omnimon on it) and a pack of card sleeves. I wanted to leave it boxed for now.

On the left is also a starter deck of the Digimon TCG, “Heavenly Yellow,” which involves Angemon.

The fluffy alpaca is Jake. He looked like a Jake to me at least. He is made of 92% alpaca fleece AND IS SO SOFT AND FLUFFY. I keep joking that he loves it when you touch his butt, cuz it’s so soft. When someone commented on me holding Jake (that it looked so soft), I literally just went “wanna touch it” and held his butt out hahaha. Jake is beautiful.

The fabric at the bottom... is like some kimono-coat-esque thing that I never planned to buy, but ended up doing so anyway... 

It’s a little like this.

I say a little cuz I do notice differences. I am too tired to take a proper photo of me wearing it, but it looked like a pretty big size so it should be fine.

I also saw a watercolour art of Kazuha that I kinda wanted to buy, but I felt like my friend would judge me for it, and I am not over fond of buying prints anyway. Oh well haha. I spent so much money already, it’s fine.

I had some bubble tea, some pasta, plenty coffee... it was a good day. I was so excited to see Digimon TCG haha. Either way, thanks for listening to my ted talk.

— WDCC - 2022 - scuffed Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) DCC - 2022 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) / scuffed Ellie (The Last of Us) RCC 2020 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) WDCC 2019 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) / Mimi (Digimon) ACC 2019 - no report, little happened

DCC 2019 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) / Mimi (Digimon) DCC 2018 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) ACC 2018 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) DCC 2018 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) RCC 2018 - Mimi (Digimon) WDCC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) ACC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) DCC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) RCC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) ACC 2016 - Hook (Once Upon A Time) DCC 2016 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) DCC 2015 - Sunday - Hobbit (Lord of the Rings) DCC 2015 - Saturday - Ellie (The Last of Us)

[duramaters]

Aches and Adoration // Part 1

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Summary: It’s been a few years since you became a member of Dauntless and you want to brush up on your fighting skills. Getting Eric to help you was probably not your best idea.

Warnings: Explicit language, violence and injury, fem!reader

Word Count: 1.9k

You sat on a ledge overlooking the Pit, absolutely entranced by the testosterone fuelled dance below. It was a Friday and that meant Fight Night at Dauntless. A great hulking man with a ginger mohawk and braided beard had picked his opponent clean off the floor and flung him into the corner of the ring and you were pretty sure the poor man was already out cold before he hit the ground. Even from where you sat, high above the action, you could hear the rattling of his chest as the wind was knocked out of his lungs. It was brutal and bloodthirsty and you loved it. You had never really bothered to attend Fight Night before, much preferring the quiet of your room and a good book, but you had been dragged along by Will and Christina to watch their friend, the very unfortunate casualty now being hauled through the crowd.

“This is amazing!” You bounced slightly on the cold concrete and Christina let out a chuckle at your shameless enthusiasm. You continued to watch the redheaded hulk make a mockery of his victims until the final bell rang and people began to disperse. Looking over at Will and Christina with a glint in your eye you naively asked if they thought you would ever be able to do that.

“Not a chance in hell.” Will shook his head with a slight smile.

“You’d be crushed like a bug within the first five seconds.” Rolling her eyes Christina nudged your shoulder with her own to show that she was only teasing before standing up and pulling you with her.

“Wanna go get some drinks?” Will walked between you, slinging his arms around your shoulders. You shook your head at him, body still buzzing with adrenaline from the fights.

“Nah I’m gonna go back to my room and try to wind down or else I’ll never sleep.” Sending your friends a light-hearted smile you broke away from them and jogged up the stairs and along the concrete corridors to your room, mind replaying all of the different fighting techniques you had observed over the past few hours. As soon as you unlocked your door you headed straight to your bookshelf and gathered all of your old training manuals from initiation. You had only realised from watching the evening’s entertainment that you had almost forgotten everything you had been taught back when you were sixteen and new to Dauntless. No time like the present to brush up on your old skills, you thought. Hopefully muscle memory and a good trainer would allow you to regain at least some of your old prowess in the ring.

~~~

The next morning found you cross legged on the floor beside your bed scribbling down pros and cons for all the potential Dauntless members you could ask to help train you. Hours had passed, spent with you considering your options. You had deliberated asking yesterday’s winner but you knew his reliance on brute strength and size wouldn’t work with you. You needed someone cunning and ruthless who wouldn’t go easy on you. That last point was crucial but it sadly meant that you had to cross Tori off of your list, she was way too nice to beat you to a pulp just to motivate you to do better. The only option left was one you weren’t too thrilled about, but you had never really interacted with the man before so you refused to pre-judge him based on reputation alone. Eric Coulter definitely met your criteria – he was intelligent, aggressive and uncompromising, exactly what you needed. Unfortunately, Eric Coulter also happened to hate you on sight.

“Absolutely fucking not” he snapped at you when you had sidled up to him during his lunch and directed your bright smile at him.

“I haven’t even said anything!” you pouted. He was nowhere near as intimidating as you thought he’d be, tearing up chunks of bread and smearing them with butter. Inching closer to him on the wide bench you clamped your hands together in front of your chest ready to actually beg the man in front of you.

“Fuck off.” Oh, maybe you should have headed his reputation after all.

“Can I at least say what I came over to say before I fuck off?” You questioned him, raising an eyebrow as he continued to ignore you and focus on his food. You took his silence as a go-ahead. “I want to get back into fighting and I figured you were my best bet at actually getting good.” Hopefully flattery worked with him. He released a breath through his nose and you watched his jaw tick and his fists clench in what you assumed was an attempt to not punch you smack in the nose. You slowly slipped back into your previous position on the bench, putting precious space between you and the apparently seething leader.

“I’m not going to say it again.” Eric’s voice came out in a harsh whisper but there was no way in hell you’d be leaning in to him to hear him better. With a sigh you swung your legs over the bench and left him to his lunch, trying to hide the disappointment from showing through the drooping of your shoulders as you walked away.

~~~

It turned out that the ginger giant from Fight Night was a Dauntless born named Thelonious and he was more than willing to teach you to fight. A bit too willing, you realised in hindsight, but you didn’t have many other options since Eric had refused to even entertain the idea of training you. You had set out the mats and refilled your water bottle in preparation for your training session and had decided to perform some simple stretches while you waited for your new mentor to arrive. He entered the training room flanked by two smaller, but equally as intimidating men and one of them looked you up and down lecherously, forcing to you repress a shiver and subtly glance around to take stock of the rooms other inhabitants. You noticed a flash of green hair and recognised the woman who had done your first tattoo. Good, it meant you had a potential ally in case things turned nasty with Thelonious and his pals. Squaring your shoulders in an attempt to appear more confident than you felt, you stepped forward and greeted the man who had agreed to train you.

“Let’s get started, pipsqueak.” He said, grinning wickedly a you through his thick beard. He clearly only wore the braids during fights, probably so his opponent couldn’t use it against him. You made sure to take a mental note of this. “Be warned. I won’t go easy on you kid.” You nodded in understanding, now absolutely terrified at the prospect of sparring with a man you had seen obliterate at least ten people a few nights ago.

Before you had even had chance to brace yourself against the mat a thundering fist met your abdomen and you doubled over in agony, pretty sure that the man had ruptured your spleen with the hit. Another punch landed against your ribs and you were convinced you felt them shatter beneath his knuckles. The air left your lungs and all you could manage to utter was a soft “ooft” as you were thrown back across the mat. Laughter behind you had you tenderly turning your head to see the two other men mocking you while Thelonious was above you, smirking at your pitiful attempts to get off the floor.

“Stay down and leave the fighting to the men, yeah pipsqueak?” He high-fived his repulsive friends and without so much as a backwards glance at you they left the training room outwardly pleased with the damage Thelonious had delivered to your crumpled body.

“Come on.” A hand appeared in front of your face and you peered up to see a streak of green hair. “I think we should get you to the infirmary, that dick definitely did a number on your ribs.” She said, hoisting you to your feet and gently draping your arm over her shoulder. The walk was slow and hard going, but you made it with the help of your saviour.

“Come see me for a new tattoo when you’re all healed.” She winked and saluted you before diseappering down the corridor. A kind looking male nurse rushed over to assess your injuries, his incessant questioning about what had happened distracted you from the pain until his fingers prodded your ribs over your clothing. Your eyes screwed shut and your teeth clenched in reflex to the sharp pain.

“Fucking ow, dude.” You grimaced. He had the good sense to look sheepish and quickly removed his hands from your side.

“Sorry I’m new, let me grab someone else!” He rushed off and you couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty at how you’d taken your pain out on him. As you settled back into the bed, shifting to ease the pressure on your lower back, you heard voices approaching down the corridor. A rather harangued looking doctor entered the room followed by a man who was too focused on the tablet in his hands to notice you.

“You’re using way too many resources, we need to be practical and only administer medication to people who really need it. The supplies are too low for-” Eric stopped mid sentence when he finally looked up from his tablet and saw you hunched up on the bed. The doctor had delicately lifted your shirt and your new knuckle shaped bruises were on clear display. Eric’s eyes had zeroed in on the discolouration and he had fallen deathly silent.

“I knew you were a fucking idiot.” He muttered under his breath and his admonishing tone had tears welling up in your eyes. The doctor didn’t seem to have heard his cruel comment.

“And what is your professional opinion here Mr. Coulter? Does she need treatment?” Eric merely huffed in response and left the room.

“Is he always such an ass?” You looked up at the doctor with a watery, yet conspirational grin.

“Always. Without fail.” She snickered and set about fixing your injuries.

~~~

You were perched delicately between Will and Christina at the dinner table when two large hands appeared on the table either side of your food tray. You could feel the softness of a t-shirt pressing against the exposed skin at top of your spine and when you leant backwards slightly in your surprise, the hardness of taut abdominal muscles pressing into your shoulder blades caused your breath to hitch.

“Did you learn your lesson or are you still desperate to fight?” You stiffened as you realised it was Eric’s hot breath tickling your temple. He backed up when he felt you shifting to face him, grunting at the bursts of pain radiating from your injuries. Will and Christina watched on with a mixture of apprehension and anticipation as you made eye contact with the man now towering over you.

“The only thing I learned was that I really ought to be able to defend myself against disgusting egotistical maniacs so that the next time that pig comes near me I can annihilate him.” You looked up at Eric, your saccharine smile contrasting your murderous tone. Eric’s responding smirk made your heart stutter and you had no clue if it was out of fear or something else entirely.

 “Perfect.”