#but curious why we have to see them really because any chapter focused on them would feel odd

[thetimelordbatgirl]

...Very curious why a cameo from Ben and Mal was reduced to exclusive edition only for Beyond the Isle of The Lost, because pretty sure without the actor's coming back for Rise of Red, any chances to confirm what the OGs are doing should be taken, but like, I have zero clue if this is just expanding on a loose mention of them in the book or not as I don't have the book so like...

[yuikomorii]

I got a question but I need an objective answer please. So I saw a lot of people complain about Yui being written in a very bad way in Ayato’s routes starting with More Blood and was curious if you think that she became a bad girlfriend as the story progressed?

// I will analyze Yui’s versions from Ayato’s routes and provide an answer at the end of this post.

More Blood:

Even from the first two chapters we are aware of the fact that Yui got a big crush on Ayato merely because of his looks and pleasure he gave her. At first sight, these reasons seem very superficial, but at the same time you can’t blame her completely for that. Yui went to a normal school and used to read magazines for teens, therefore it’s obvious she would have hormones and fall in love with someone who got features portrayed as the beauty standard.

It's understandable why some found her annoying, as she repeatedly cried for Ayato's love without making any real effort to earn it. Apart from giving him her blood, she didn't try to understand what he was going through, even when she noticed changes in him that made him crave so much blood.

Nevertheless, I believe that she did redeem herself in the last chapters, where she admitted being selfish and only thinking about her own desires, instead of focusing on Ayato’s struggles too. I know she paralyzed him out of jealousy and cheated on him in the bad endings, but in the good one, she’s actually a really loyal person. Yui waited years for Ayato to wake up from the coma and Ayato searched for Yui for years in his dream until he finally woke up. This ending confirmed the genuineness of their love.

In the After Story, Ayato planned to attend university for Yui's sake, aiming to get a job and buy a house. Yui helped Ayato with his studies and praised his skills. Initially, she fell for his looks, but in the After Story, she mentioned falling in love with him again because of his caring, determined, and hardworking personality.

Vandead Carnival & Lunatic Parade:

I really liked Yui in both of Ayato's routes and honestly, I can't find anything to criticize about her behavior.

It's not that Yui was a bad partner; it's just that Ayato was portrayed as too good, such as when he ran through flames for her or protected her from a bomb explosion. But that's likely because these are fan service games, where the love interests are designed to be your knights in shining armor. xD

Dark Fate:

I absolutely loved Yui’s portrayal in that route. It was the sweetest version of Yui I’ve ever seen, and I really enjoyed seeing her so happy and soft. Regarding her relationship with Ayato, he was truly the apple of her eye, lol.

The only problematic thing she did was pushing Ayato to face his abuser, Cordelia, even though he didn’t want to. I honestly don’t care if a character does something to another character, as long as it doesn’t affect them and the story, so since Ayato didn’t get mad at her for that, I didn’t mind it much either. However, from an objective point of view, I agree that doing such a thing is quite bad. Being in the presence of someone who ruined your life can trigger intense memories and forcing a confrontation removes the victim's agency in deciding how to cope with their trauma. Ayato might not have been mad at Yui for planning that, but if it had been Laito, I’m sure he would have shown why Yui was in the wrong.

Other than that, she was a kind and supportive girlfriend throughout the whole route, clearly having no ill intent, and I appreciate that she had an actual important role in the route.

Lost Eden:

Ok, I really can’t defend her anymore there. She literally had no redeeming qualities, no matter how many times she got the chance to fix herself. I discussed my thoughts about LE Yui in this post, but I’ll sum it up.

She tried to convince Ayato that despite Cordelia abusing him, she actually did it because she “cared about his future”, and then acted surprised when Ayato started feeling uncomfortable because of her words.

Yui knew the reasons behind Ayato’s behavior, yet when his brothers started mocking him, she didn’t even try to defend him. Everyone ganged up on Ayato, and he was on the verge of a panic attack, yet she remained silent.

Another terrible scene was in one of the last chapters, when Ruki admitted to turning the Vibora Clan and Church organization against Ayato out of envy, aiming to kill him. Instead of criticizing Ruki’s actions, Yui justified them and spoke ill of Ayato behind his back. I wouldn’t like to date someone who claims to love me but keeps hurting me without learning anything… It felt as if Ayato only continued being together with her because he had no one else. No wonder he didn’t marry her there.

Chaos Lineage:

I found Yui quite boring in CL in general, but she started off as determined and sweet in his route, so I liked that.

For most of the route, Yui’s entire personality seemed to revolve around Ayato, and she didn’t do much. There were many cheesy moments between them that made me cringe. Still, I’m sure a certain audience enjoyed those.

My only complaint is that when his brothers started treating Ayato unfairly, despite the fact that he came up with the idea of breaking the glass floor of the church, Yui did nothing to defend him, again.

However, I do appreciate that she gave him that adorable monologue. I just wish she had done it in front of others instead of only acting when Ayato was already insecure and sad.

Now… let’s see what kind of girlfriend Yui was in each route by judging her progress:

MB: Good

VC: Good

DF: Very good

LP: Good

LE: Very bad

CL: Decent

[mapoeggplant]

skip to loafer chapter 55 general thoughts // spoilers

it's crazy to think that takamatsu-sensei would be able to condense all the points of what makes skip to loafer special in one chapter alone, but surprise: she did that, beautifully — as always.

like a hot summer night, everything about this chapter feels warm. I can also compare it to a hug. what I want to say in the end is that there's a lot of empathic points and moments on this chapters that brings out the best on sensei's writing and how she build her characters.

giving mika a chance to share her point of view right after so many chapters that focused so much on shima's struggles was a great move. the reason why I say this is because I can see mika as someone who's personality and character construction is very similar and linear to shima's. both of them have this scar of their past that keeps coming and going up to their adolescence and they are trying to find a way to surpass is — and both of their worries lie on loneliness, but a different kind for each one.

while shima fear loneliness as in disappointing everyone around him, mika feels it as in never finding a place she could really be who she wants to be. yes, she found a safe space with the girl group, but she still feels like she can't tell them everything, and I don't think she's wrong for that. even tho it's comforting and they make her happy, it's hard for her to really break this wall she took so long to build. it's not something you can change overnight.

and following this with nao connecting the dots from her past to present was amazing. that's because it was easily an introduction to nao's feelings about her hometown and all the pain she still feels in relation to it. even though she's living in tokyo with a new happy life, there will always be that teenage sitting on the beach, crying and feeling lonely in the back of her mind. by relating to mika's pain and loneliness, nao can finally find a way to put an end to what hurts her so much and make peace with her past. as i said before: she looks at mika and sees a second chance.

different from grumpy mukai, I don't think mika was in any way making that moment about herself. liking it or not, her crush on shima was the reason why her relationship with nao started, so it was the best way for her to make that bond stronger (and find a partner in crime).

now for the one!!! the one we never could imagine had thoughts: mukai! exploring a little more of mukai on this chapter elevates more the complexity of the scenes around them. and also, when he starts to think about mika's feelings and shima's complexity, we're transported to the beginning of the chapter, when mika is asking herself basically the same questions.

mukai realized how sharp and precise mika is, but something inside him still wants to deny. that's because she's "the type of girl" he thought he knew and didn't liked it, but now he's seeing a side from her that is challenging him on his own believes. it's a way for him to break a little out of his shell, to break from the stereotypes he once thought he knew.

there's a lot to come, specially because he's very curious about her — always had been. she's intriguing, beautiful and much braver than he thought she could be. for now, I'm happy that that's all that we have: a little "I notice this but I don't want to think about it" from him.

takamatsu-sensei relies herself on human connections, and here we are again, having the privilege to experience this. the whole chapter is a callback to relationships, bonds, the complexity of one another and our own. it's about connections, forgiveness, moving forward.

it might take time, but mika will find her peace sooner or later. I mean, if someone ever told teenage nao that she would be calling her boyfriend and inviting him to visit her hometown, do you think she would believe it? we're always moving on our own pace 💛

as always, thank you for reading, sorry for any mistakes (I just follow my stream of consciousness basically) and I hope we can talk more about it, together 💛

you can also find this thread on twitter

[miimo96]

Thoughts on TBHK Chapter 116

Well it looks like once again nobody reminded Me that a New chapter was out, First Things 1st I absolutely ADORE this Cover Card and judging from it, it looks like we may be focusing on yashiro again but considering how last Chapter's was misleading, I'm willing to bet otherwise and that we may be actually picking up from where we left off with baby Tsukasa and if This is really him, or just the Entity wearing his face; Other than that the Colors for this Cover are really Beautiful and I really love the font style they choose for this 1, even tho I still perfer the other one we got last chapter, man Summer's edition Really is looking like to be the Best ^^

Ah already with the creepynes I see, alrighty then I mean I guess Aside from this Gorgeous piece of artwork, I gotta have this thing Stare at me now huh, didnt expect Nightmare fuel to be on my To do list today, and in the beginning of chapter no less, Ok Wow aidairo Thanks looks like I'm not getting any sleep tonight ^^; Also is it jsut me or is it that everytime we get a Chapter for these 3, Something ALWAYS goes wrong, and ends Tragically in some way, because If that's the case then I'm really scared now, because i don't want anything Bad to happen, *sigh* I just hope aidairo goes easy on us and does nothing Too Major 🤞

Alright Ngl Kou came in clutch just now, 1st off mitsuba Why the hell would you even try listening to that thing, I mean you Literally just Saw that it isn't human, due the gapping HOLE it had in its face, plus didn't kou literally just explained to you that most Supernaturals are Dangerous, so why would the hell you even bother🤦‍♂️ Also is it me or is anyone elese getting odd vibes of Nanika from HXH from this Thing, because the fact that you literally have to obey his commands in oder to receive something in return is heavily reminding me of Nanikas powers from Hunter x Hunter

So If you weren't convicted before that this isn't Tsukasa but is just a lifeless husk, then you're sure as heck are Now because the fact that thing literally talked like how it did in the Red house arc, all but confirmed it for me, because evertime I see that style of text bubbles in the series, I Know for a fact that it's from that THING in someway, Also the fact that kou Literally just punched a child with No hesitation is hilarious to me🤣🤣🤣

Question: what is wrong with aidairo? Like I really feel like they wake up in the morning and go "*sigh*...... So How we gonna torment our readers today? ^^" Also it may just be me overthinking but the way he touched Kou's hand kinda reminded me of what happened with Aoi and her hand after being in the far shore, which makes me even more curious about this Entity...

Oh Well Nvm i guess, it looks like I was absolutely right about it being similar to Aoi's situation Lol, also I really Love how kou is completely nonchalant about this whole situation and is just unphased by his hand completely turning, i mean the way he just assesses everything and describes the situation really just shows how much experience he has in this timeline, I gotta say I love it ^^

Wait so that's what happened to the girls who summoned him? I just thought he made them disappear or turned them into sacrifices for the Entity, you're telling me He did That to them!? Oh nah this thing is Sick

It's just Hilarious to know that no matter what timeline they're in, Mitsuba will always hate Kou's earing 🤣🤣

Till this day Kou Still continues to prove to me why he is the Best character, like the dude was literally willing to be a Decoy in order for mitsuba to escape, While he lures away Tsukasa, like this probably the 2nd time I've said this but I Really love his character, especially when he does stuff like this, also I find it really strange that Tsukasa called out Hanako's name, even tho this isn't Tsukasa, but just a lifeless husk, So I'm really interested to know what direction they're talking with this, Because if this IS Tsukasa, then would that mean he still has some control, and isn't just a Puppet like before? hmmmmm 🤔(pending thoughts)

I really find it interesting that we get some information regarding yorishiro's, because up until this point, we've only just been given the understanding that they represent the item that the spirits cherish, and that by creating or destroying 1, you're able to lose control over the boundary that you inhabit, So seeing the actual process behind what goes into making or Qualifies as 1, is just Really interesting to me

Oh, well that's terrifying

Man I feel so bad for Mitsuba , like he's literally the only character that has probably gone through the most shit In this series and it's SO painful to me because C'mon cut the dude a break already, like it's already Bad enough that in the original timeline he was already dead, then he was turned into a doppelganger of himself, then he was dealing with his own issues regarding his identity crisis, and then he wanted his best friend/ boyfriend to kill him, So in the new timeline I was hoping that maybe he could finally get cut some slack, and maybe just maybe Not go through some shit, but alas, I guess not, Sry mitsuba, but maybe 1 day you'll have your chance to Shine tho😅😅

Awesome mitsuba finally get a Dub for once, even more Awesome the Students were able turn back to normal, should be a win right? So then why do I get the feeling something bad happened? Because that was Wayy too easy 😥

Omg please Don't tell me something Bad happened to Kou, Omg aidairo please Don't I'm begiging you, Kou is literally the Best character Please Don't this, No no no no 😰😰😰😰

NOOOO!!! 😭😭😭😭 Aidairo Why must you do this to Me!!! Damn it 1st JJK now this WHY!! actually Wait a minute, so if it can just move 1 body to a New one, then what does mean for Tsukasa, did he really just go back to normal, or is he just a lifeless husk lying in the hallway right now

1st off this looks Straight up Terrifying, Second of all PLEASE STOP THIS Aidairo I'm begiging you PLEASE, it looks like mitsuba is going to have to resort to Killing him if this continues, So begging you Lord please somebody Stop Him, I don't wanna see this character Die Please!!! Anybody

YES!!! I mean As much as I Hate this character I'm So happy that he's here right Now, THANK YOU GOD!!

This just made him go up a scale as 1 of my favorite characters Now thank you lord for sending us Teru because idk if was gonna be able to continue reading after this, That scene was Just Wow, I was literally scared for a second there, Omg Please Stop playing with my emotions Aidairo sensei please, I don't think I can take much more of this

Ok So it looks like I was Right about this being Not the same Tsukasa, because like i said before judging from the way he was talking, it really reminded me of the way it was in the red house, Especially from the way it was talking, Also could you please Stop beating on Kou for 1 second mitsuba, like i get that you love him and all and that were probably worried about having to Kill him, but for crying out loud the guy just got Shot by lightning for christ sake, so you could at least go easy on him, Second of all wait you're telling me that this Thing isn't even Dead after that and was just only weakened, Jesus how many more Chapters Do I gotta suffer with that Thing Before that THING is FINALLY Dead, Also i guess that pretty much Answers what I've been saying this entire time, That No matter what Timeline you make or whatever Strings you pull, it's pretty much inevitable that Tsukasa or eventually somebody will be the host for that thing, and judging from the way this chapter ended, it Looks like we might be in for something BIG Next chapter, especially now with that Thing on the Loose, idk whats about to happen, but I can guarantee you that I will be here to cover it, man this is really starting to feel like the final arc, and gotta say If it is I'm Not ready, but if this Truly is the end, then It's been sure 1 hell of a ride

[aphroditelovesu]

OK, so the more I think about it the more I realize that our girl (in TLQ) is just kinda expected to have kids, especially a son. It's mentioned in the conversation between Alexander and Hephaestion before the wedding and later between Alexander and reader before the wedding night 'activities'. Perdiccas also seems to have fantasies about starting a family with her, so yeah. No pressure!

I've been curious as to why she hasn't told Alexander that she's pregnant. My best guess is that she's still hoping that she'll be able to go home soon. Telling him would kinda cement her there. Alexander would no doubt be thrilled, but he'd also become 1000x more protective of her and make it harder for her to go back, especially since she's basically carrying the future of his empire. That's just my personal theory, though. Also, I think the other Macedonian officer who knows (besides Perdiccas) is Selucus. IDK, he hasn't shown up yet in TLQ and his story is an interesting one, especially the relationship with his wife 😍. But again, it's just my theory...

In any case, we already know (spoiler!) that reader will eventually produce two healthy babies, including a son, so she will certainly do her 'wifely duties' in that regard. And Alexander having a clear heir and successor with change everything. No doubt her children will be one of the most famous sets of twins in history. It may also draw some mythological parallels if her daughter is born first (like Apollo and Artemis). Either way, I'm looking forward to seeing more of them. They honestly sound adorable 🥰!

Anyway, I'm really, really looking forward to the release of chapter 12, when you get to it ofc. Until then, have a good week ❤️!

--O-

Everyone wants the poor girl pregnant... But don't they think about whether she wants to be pregnant? No, they don't think and they don't care...

In chapter 13 it will be explained why she didn't reveal her pregnancy, mainly because it will be more focused on Alexander! Yes, it is! Besides, he would be much more overprotective if she knew about the pregnancy, which would make it more difficult to kidnap her. Now the poor girl wonders if it was a good idea to hide her pregnancy.

Well, chapter 12 has already been posted and the official who knows about her pregnancy has already appeared! Spoiler, it's Seleucus and one more!

I hope you like chapter 12, anon! I love reading your comments!! ❤️ Have a good week too! 🫶🏻

[theomnicode]

im curious- do you think saitama has romantic love on the mind at all? is romantic love a high priority for him(after all, he's only human) or do you think that personal connections is all he needs to create fulfillment and meaning in his life? i personally dont know if he could even be in a relationship, he's so depressed. i think his deep relationship with genos(whether platonic or romantic) is what makes him want to move forward and live and grow... i dont think that their relationship being platonic would make it any less deep tbh.

anyway i ask this because a lot of people, especially reddit, is so focused on who saitama wants to date when im not really sure if thats in the cards for him. i also dont think the only alternative to the silly psychic sisters/saitama ships is saigenos, as much as i enjoy it. what do you think as someone who is a lot more involved in this fandom? i think your analysis is always very interesting to read and would love to hear your thoughts, sorry for rambling so much lol x

Oh do I think Saitama has romance in mind?

Yes, yes I do in fact, I have made bunch of meta centered around Saitama and romance and it has been asked of me in the past and I cannot even recall every single one, you'd probably have a to dig a lot. But most notable hints are ofc the media Saitama consumes, which center strictly around both romance and battle shounen and shoujo specifically. One doesn't really consume media on their free time if it holds no interest to them.

Saitama being romantic at heart

Love is in the air

Saitama's journey in self-confidence

And literally pertaining this:

Me when people say Saitama doesn't seem like the romantic type

But it's not just limited to that, but also the amount of shoujo elements and romantic elements in seinen, like sunsets, sparkles, late night dinners, cozy slice of life, romantic outros (ending anime songs), references, you name it.

Reason why it's so appealing to the female demographic in japan I bet when most of OPM fans are ladies instead of guys in there, or so I've heard haha.

Also, Saitama is depressed yes, but he's finding a lot of help to his depression from the people around him, the lack of connections being one of the biggest reasons for his depression after all as he says in the King chapter. Not having relatability with others causes him to feel Othered by the society itself and not know how to live in it.

Tbh, I'd personally want him to find more happiness in life like he wants in the audiobooks. :)

I'd be kinda sad if he didn't find that kind of fullfillment eventually. That and it would definitely break my heart if Genos found nothing but platonic response from Saitama, after all and everything he has done so far. But such is life sometimes. It doesn't make their relationship less deeper even if they did nothing, but still. :/

(Tbh Genos hasn't been very platonic in a long while lol, he even borrowed Saitama's underwear in hotpot as Murata-sensei said. It's hard to not notice and I think Saitama has.)

I just think Sai is very subtle lol. But we'll see if he actually gets physically affectionate with Genos, then you know for sure hah.

Genos already armless glomped him, we need a glomp back to get even.

But yea, if I saw a good dynamic for Saitama specifically, I might also check out that avenue in terms of shipping. I just don't personally think romantic SaiBuki or SaiTats are my thing. Some people ship SaiKing which is wholesome but again, I tend to personally think them as great friends. SaiAmai would be...interesting. I'd like to see more of Amai-mask in general, their chemistry and how their character dynamic evolves. One fling man? Genos would disagree.

One of my friends ships Sonsai (zombieman x saitama) which I think is a fun dynamic because they're both quite funny characters. But again, I need to see more of their chemistry to get into it myself.

I have something else in mind though, but I kinda wanna see more of this character first. No it's not Suiko or anybody you'd be able to guess.

I'll give that person a cookie if they can guess who I am refering to without outside assistance lol.

[meimi-haneoka]

Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 68: Comments + JP-ENG translation differences

Hello hello everyone!! Here we are again, one month later, for the third chapter of the future volume 14, chapter 68!! Maaaan I gotta say I got pretty excited with this chapter, at some point I’ve started screaming while I was reading it (thank god I was alone) and I believe it’s been quite some time since that last happened 😂 This chapter is heavily focused on my four favorite characters, which I had predicted they’d be the focus of the “final confrontation”, so I guess that’s only normal. God, I love them all so much and I notice that even more with chapters like these. I also found myself to wish even more desperately for season 2 of the anime, because maaan, the scenery of this chapter is particularly breathtaking. I dunno, it might be because I imagined all of that animated, and my breath caught in my throat, but it would really be so wonderful to see all of that moving with pretty lights and sounds someday. I can definitely, definitely feel we came to the crunch of this story with this chapter.

Curious to know why? Follow me under the cut, but not before taking a look at the gif of the month! 😂

The Color page

Ladies & gentlemen, the third SyaoSaku color page in the span of 6 chapters 😂Is somebody trying to make up for something? 😂 Aww, I have to admit that when I saw this color page for the first time some hours before the chapter release, it made my heart all warm and fuzzy 🥰it’s really nice CLAMP decided to revive that beautiful scene of chapter 23 in a color page, it’s such a sweet and important memory for these two. It was a very happy moment, and here CLAMP decided to bring this one step forward by allowing Sakura and Syaoran to hold hands in a lover’s hold, with their fingers intertwined. 🥰 But this was also the scene where we’ve heard for the first time how unwavering Syaoran was in his resolution to not let Sakura feel any sorrow. Yes, sorrow, 不幸. A word that would become so crucial and important later on, and which is recalled even in this chapter through Momo’s words. This color page is also connected to what happened in last chapter, when Mirror was explaining why Flight decided to help them, and recalled precisely this scene. Lastly, I think this color page illustrates perfectly the strong bond that connects Sakura and Syaoran together, which gets once more reiterated in this chapter. It’s interesting to note how the color palette of the outfits they are wearing here is different from the one used in the anime! I find both versions charming, to be honest! Pink is my favorite color but I appreciate the anime’s attempt at making Sakura wear something that’s not pink 😁 The JP text here says “Sakura-chan and Syaoran-kun’s date in the sky….with Mirror and Flight!”.

What is happiness to you?

The chapter starts with Sakura, seemingly asleep in the void, hearing a voice asking her what is happiness to her and why she’s always been able to say that “everything will surely be alright”.

By now, we already know whose voice it is. Reminds you of something? Of course it does! Not only it is the "mirror" of how Chapter 65 started, kicking off this “story” inside Clockland (that time it asked about sorrow, this time about happiness), but it is also a recall to how Momo introduced Sakura to her “hint” back in chapter 50. Everything keeps reconnecting and going full circle, folks.

Turns out, Alice briefly fell asleep and wakes up, finding herself on a gondola, together with the Red Queen. As she opens her eyes, we’re made partakers of the beautiful scenery that unfolds before her: on both banks of the river they’re navigating, there are huge shelves full of books, and the wood of the shelves morphs into tall trees. Little black & white roses, seemingly the Queen’s crest, are nestled into small lamps, illuminating the way. Alice wonders about the voice she believes she just heard, and although she’s sure to have heard it before, she can’t quite recall who it is.

First translation difference here:

ENG: “I don’t know. But...I can’t shake the feeling I’ve heard it before” JP: “I don’t know. But...I have the feeling I’ve been asked the same thing before”

The difference here is given by the word 聞かれた. It is true that the verb 聞く means both “to listen” or “to ask”, but when used in this way, it definitely means “been asked”. After all, Momo was indeed asking her something. I found this part a bit confusing because all Alice was talking about in the ENG was “hearing a voice”, not that it spoke to her. So the Queen asking her if it was important felt a bit weird. What’s important, the voice? No, she’s indeed asking about what the voice asked to her.

And here I ask you to pay particular attention to the font of the Japanese version, as I predicted in my last post. Because here, for a moment, we see a “magic effect” around Sakura, and then she replies “Yes. Something very important.” WITH A REGULAR FONT. This means Sakura is talking as her real self here!! Again, triggered by important matters, she regained conscience of her true self. But unfortunately that lasts shortly, as she looks up to the Cat, standing on a bridge between shelves, looking down on her in a very…..pissed off way.

I mean, look at his clenched fists here! 😂 That unfortunately sends Sakura back to her Alice role. As the two girls continue navigating the river, Kaito talks to Momo, who keeps appearing only as a voice and not physically. I want to point out that not only here, but throughout the chapter, the ENG translation put a lot of “filler words” that skew the perception of the tone of certain characters. Of course, if you’ve been following this blog for a while, I don’t even need to point out who these changes affect the most.

ENG: “Perhaps I can convince you not to give Alice here any hints? Here I thought the guardian of the book wasn’t to assist the players”

JP: “I would like you to refrain from giving any hint to Alice. I thought the guardian of the Book couldn’t help any of the characters?”

In the ENG version, with that “I can convince you”, Kaito sounds vaguely threatening. Like “if you don’t do as I say, I’ll convince you by force”. In the JP version, there’s none of that. Kaito still speaks with his usual polite tone to Momo, while still being clearly annoyed at her. Annoyed doesn’t mean he has to suddenly become an as*hole to her. And even when Momo replies, explaining that her line was said merely as a “facilitator” (this very same English word is included in the furigana of the 進行役 word) of the Book, she doesn’t use neither “boy” nor the overly salty tone she’s got in the ENG version. Yes, sure, I was highly amused by the way these two bickered in the ENG translation, but I have to be impartial and say when things aren’t really as they are presented. STILL, the scene is so hilarious because Kaito is beyond pissed 😂(for his standards) and he replies “I beg to differ” but decides to prioritize following the girls, as he can’t lose sight of them.

Books are "Our Story"

Alice looks at the immense library that stretches along the banks of the river, and notices how many books are there. The Queen says that books are very important in this country, and Alice asks her if she likes books too. I would like to think Alice was instinctively brought to pose this question because Sakura’s subconscious knows this is Akiho. Of course the Queen answers she does, because books were always by her side. Just like the real Akiho. Meanwhile, the gondola enters a part of the river where the trees above are interwoven more and more, until it looks as if the girls are entering some kind of “tunnel” or “cavern”. I found that eerily beautiful too (I need to see this animated!!!!!). While the two girls get off the gondola and reach a shelf, the Queen explains that books are people’s “memories”. And they serve as a “record” too. Seeing as “record” (記録) is indicated between brackets, I can’t help but think about the relative Record Card. But what these books “record” in them? The Queen says: “Somebody’s feelings. Their hopes. And the magic they’ve weaved. Many [stories] are recorded in them”. Alice utters the word “record”, probably as if it reminded her of something…. Then she asks the Queen if the book she’s holding is her favorite one. Try to zoom in and pay attention to the magic circle depicted on the cover of this book. Looks familiar? Yes, because you have seen it before.

The version on the cover of this book seems slightly more elaborated, but there’s no doubt it’s the magic circle belonging to the members of the most ancient magical clan of Europe, collectively called by me as the “Squid Clan”. It is kinda surprising the Queen grabbed specifically this book, and with some friends I was musing on which underlying meaning this library could have. Does it store the records, the stories of all the people who tried to use Momo’s book? After all, we’ve been told that her book records the life of the owner. If that’s true, then maybe we could infer someone from Akiho’s clan tried to use it, at some point? Regardless, the Queen replies that this is not her favorite book. Her favorite book is Alice in Clockland. And here pay attention, dear readers, because as she utters the name of the book, the font in the Queen’s speech bubble is back to normal!!

This is not the Queen anymore, AKIHO is regaining control of her consciousness! With nonchalance she lets go of the book she was holding, which goes back to its place in the shelf. Alice points out:

ENG: “That’s my name…” “Perhaps. But it is the title of your story” JP: “That’s my name...and yet, it’s the title of a book you have”

As you can see, the ENG translation completely misunderstood who was talking in the second bubble of this panel. It is not Akiho, despite the bubble being close to her (there’s no tail pointing at her, indeed), but actually still Alice. Alice is confused because a book belonging to the Queen is titled with her name. So this brings Alice to question her own identity. And the true identity of the Red Queen in front of her. Akiho replies that she doesn’t know, because she’s forgotten her previous name when she entered Clockland. But there’s one thing she remembers. It’s the one thing no magic could ever make her forget. Before entering Clockland, she had a [special person]. Here it is again. That 特別なひと I fussed so much about during last chapter. It seemed such a trivial thing and yet I knew it wasn’t, because this is a specific term with which the story is indicating the person someone loves. That’s why it was important to me, I think this is going to be very important to understand the story, and fortunately this time around they translated it correctly. Akiho, talking with a regular font and all, seems to regain a hold of herself more and more. Thanks to a mutual on Twitter I even realized that her pronoun changes from 私 (watashi, in kanji) to わたし (watashi, in hiragana), which is the usual way her pronoun is written when she speaks as Akiho. THERE IS a difference there!! She remembers about the girl she’s got in front of her, too. She tells her that she had a name more befitting of who she is, actually, Akiho says that she’s just the embodiment of the thing she was named after. (This part was translated in ENG as merely “it was your name” and I don’t think they really got the beautiful praise she was giving to Sakura). “Just like a flower that blooms in spring”

Catfight part 2?

A shriek echoes in the library, it’s our Syaoran, the REAL Syaoran, yelling Sakura’s name!!!

He cut through the fake environment created by the book with his own sword, but Kaito wastes no time in appearing in front of him, out of nowhere, praising him for managing to stay inside the book, but affirming that having two Cats is really inconvenient for him (taken literally from the JP text, as opposed to the more arrogant way the ENG decided to translate it with). Kaito tries to grab Syaoran, but as he does so, we find out it was the Mirror Card who had taken Syaoran’s appearance, and it’s now back in the hands of the real one!! Sakura FINALLY recognizes her Syaoran, regaining her own identity once and for all, thanks to her beloved one. As some of my japanese mutuals have pointed out in their own reviews of the chapter, it’s really beautiful that the trigger for both girls waking up from the role they were playing is the person they’re in love with. Syaoran apologizes for being late, and Sakura can’t contain the tears, realizing she couldn’t remember who she was, but she was able to free herself of the spell when he called her name! Syaoran says something really important and poignant, and Mokona sensei gives the entire page to Syaoran to indicate how fundamental this is:

JP: “The only Sakura there'll ever be for me is [Kinomoto Sakura]”

Kinomoto Sakura, with her full name in kanji and all (he usually calls her in hiragana, but here the moment is solemn, you know!). He might have been put under stress and been tested with the whole Mirror thing, but Syaoran will always find his way back to his Sakura. No matter what. Sakura is so very comforted by that. But someone else is just not as comforted…. Syaoran regained control of the Mirror Sakura Card (again with that “Mirror Clow Card” in the ENG translation!! THE CLOW CARDS DON’T EXIST ANYMORE, FFFFF--!!) and even dispelled the Mirror new card, effectively undoing Kaito’s disguise, who goes back to his real self. At this point, we should have all four protagonists of this story with their true selves, no one is playing a role anymore. But Akiho is suspiciously quiet and unresponsive to all of this mess, and Mokona sensei avoided drawing any expression on her, covered by the veil. What is going on with her? I hope everything is fine, but I have the feeling something….might be going on with her….something related to the Squid Clan. Kaito notices that Syaoran managed to bring a sword in this place, storing it inside of his body, and it is likely a skill he acquired during his time back in Hong Kong (not, as the ENG translated, “You’ve grown during your time back in Hong Kong”, that could refer to his physical growth but this is not what Kaito is talking about here). He wonders if it was thanks to his mother’s gift, the divination, or if it was just his own good fortune. Of course Syaoran has to wonder how Kaito knows about all of that. He replies that Syaoran is...quite famous in the circles he runs in (that “young man” was merely added to fill in that bubble, Kaito isn’t being arrogant with Syaoran here. None of the condescending “boy” or “young man” you ever see in this chapter in English is truly said by the characters in Japanese). He says that “the most ancient European magicians” are particularly interested in the Li Clan’s movements. After all, the Li Clan’s got family lineage in common with that of Clow Reed, and indeed that European Clan is particularly spiteful towards them. So, if we ever needed it, we got confirmation that the Squid clan is particularly spiteful towards the Li Clan due to their connections to Clow Reed. When I’ve read this confirmation spelled out like this, I couldn’t avoid going back to think about my theory that the Squid Clan is actually the Reed family (noticed how they never reveal the Clan’s name?), the other branch of Clow’s family on his father’s side. It would kinda make sense if you consider the natural competition there might be between the two families, which have such a famous magician in common in their lineage. It’s still a theory at this stage, but I admit I did let out a shriek or two 😂.

Kaito’s watch suddenly cracks some more, and as he witnesses that, he says he really needs to make Syaoran leave, because he’s got no more time. Again, the ENG translation made Kaito sound condescending and arrogant with his “I have no time for this, you see”, when actually he was merely hinting that his life span is almost over. This is also why you see Syaoran startled by his affirmation, cause it seems he might be having a hunch about it. Syaoran realizes that Kaito is about to start something, so he summons Mirror and uses it on Flight (which was there with them on its own) to prepare “doubles” of it to give to both Sakura and Akiho. Apparently the interaction of Mirror with Flight gave also Syaoran a pair of beautiful crystal wings that just looks like the ones on Mirror’s back.

Syaoran sternly affirms that “I will take them back with me” (again, the ENG unnecessarily specified that he would bring Sakura with him, but the truth is that there’s no subject in the JP text and Syaoran gave a copy of Flight to Akiho too, so he’s very intent on bringing her outside along with Sakura. Therefore, why infering that he’s only focused on his girlfriend and doesn’t care about what happens to Akiho? Excuse me, but that’s not our Syaoran. He would never discard an innocent girl like that, and it makes sense because he doesn’t know about Kaito’s real intentions yet). Kaito confidently replies “I won’t allow it” (the ENG here made him say the more arrogant “No, boy. I’m afraid you aren’t”).

And with this huuuuuuge cliffhanger, chapter 68 ends here, in anticipation for the confrontation we were all expecting! I don’t think it will last for long, if they ever manage to start it, that is, cause Akiho’s behavior is kinda sketchy and I’m afraid a certain clan will soon “enter the chat” in their own way.

This chapter was really exciting for me, I enjoyed it from the first to the last page, and I feel it really reiterated how “identity” is a HUGE thematic in Clear Card. It’s very important to not lose sight of who you truly are, and our loved ones can help us remembering that at all times. In fact, both Akiho and Sakura “wake up” from their roles thanks to the memories of their loved ones. I applaude both girls for escaping the influence of this powerful spell, it must have not been easy. Particularly, I commend Sakura because despite being under the influence of it, she never stopped making questions. THAT was the indication that her real essence, her soul, was fighting tooth and nails to regain control of her own reality. She wasn't merely accepting and taking in everything that was in front of her. And I congratulate Akiho too, because she got herself freed from the spell without having any magical powers, only with the strength of her feelings and memories. The physical and metaphorical lifting of the veil was a super powerful image to me. I found it absolutely beautiful and it spoke to me more than a million words. Bravo Mokona sensei. Under that veil that kept her "in her role", there wasn't the somber Queen anymore, but the sweet and warm Akiho we always knew.

Syaoran was super cool and I think CLAMP delivered what they promised in their Space of some months ago. I’m sure his role isn’t over yet and we’ll see more of him. Please remember that, under his fired up appearance, Syaoran is a very loving and caring child too. He knows what compassion is and I’m sure he’ll give an evidence of it in the last chapters of this arc. While being of course annoyed at Kaito’s behavior, I reaaaally can’t bring myself to be mad at him, seeing how tired and desperate he looks (and sounds) in this chapter. The pocket watch, at this point a symbol of what he’s got left to live, breaks even further and that must have cornered him even more. I once said “Kaito looks like a wounded animal to me”, and wounded animals tend to become really aggressive when they feel under threat. This is what scares me a little bit about him. It’s evident that “failure” is not an option for him, so he has to complete his mission before he dies.

At this point, the only one who can truly stop him is Akiho, and I’m praying that she eventually can gain control of the situation before it’s too late. Sakura can help, of course, but I’m sure the only one who can weaken Kaito is Akiho. The one he’s doing all of this for.

Of course, there’s Momo too. Although she’s clearly got her hands tied, she’s resorting to any kind of tricks to steer this in the direction that will avoid a tragedy from happening. At this point she’s doing it in Kaito’s face too (and he’s not stupid, he notices that but doesn’t want to argue about it right now) and I find that so hilarious, among the seriousness of the situation. She really seemed to me like a mother who was trying to hide spinach in her son’s meatballs, denying that she’s put any of it in them. 😂 All of these characters are so lovable and they’re doing their best for someone else, just like CLAMP said in their latest Spaces.

Another small thing I want to point out is that we still have no “last chapter in 2 issues!” or anything like that announced on the color page. Maybe they want to wait for the very second-to-last chapter before announcing it? We’ll see.

Well, this post is already quite late by my standards so I will leave you here for now, and as usual I await your asks in my inbox to talk about this or that aspect in particular! As usual, a quick reminder of the dates for the next chapter, chapter 69: December 25th, on Bookwalker and Azuki(digital, ENG) December 26th, on Clamp-fans (digital, JP and other languages) December 28th, on Nakayoshi (paper and digital, JP) January 1st 2023, on Comic Days (digital, JP) <- if they don't modify this I'll probably be late again with my chapter post 😭

Let’s hope we’ll get an extraordinary chapter as a Christmas present!! See you on Christmas day!! 🌸

[meringuejellyfish]

tetia is so interesting as right now shes the only apprentice with ultimately no backstory thats been revealed, yet the few moments that are focused on her are very telling of what kind of environment she may have been in before being brought in to the atelier. qifreys atelier and his apprentices have a very prominent theme of being problem children/troubled children (much like qifrey himself) which does have me wondering what tetias background is - im even more curious because of how long we have yet to see anything! also how it seems current arc is weaving tetia in (kind of?)

i love that 42.5 was a bonus chapter but also is one of the few bits of writing that is so telling for why tetia is the way she is and what she values. shes such a special character to me (which to be fair i very much say about all the apprentices) the spectacular thing about the apprentice writing to me is how you can somewhat slot them into specific archetypes (as in, "kind bubbly girl" "rival", etc) but what shines through is all these little things that make these characters feel, to me, very fascinatingly human and unique. people you may have known or been who learn and grow (one of my favorite parts in wha is when the apprentices' have epiphanies. quite wonderful)

but anyway ch 42.5 was crazy to read for the first time like oh this kid most definitely comes from an environment where she could not truly express herself in any way shape or form and cares so so deeply about self expression and making the world a better place. passion is so unbelievably important. she also may be looked down on for creating magic that doesnt seem all that "useful" to most. FOR reference the way that chapter 42.5 goes is tetia being excited about choosing a dress to wear for silver night festival and looking at all the different ones, to which agott is uninterested and says something dismissive - how its stupid, and i really like how tetia immediately goes off on her and talks about how its important to some people, how something small like a bow or a ribbon can change how the world views someone and how they view themself, and i Also really like how agott comes to apologize and takes a moment to form an appreciation for the artistry in her own way. how very sweet. (casual apprentice interaction as in interaction where they arent in a Stressful dangerous situation is something very interesting to me)

and i think agott was also a good choice to clash with tetia in this chapter in how agott has some deeply rooted issues with being perceived and approved of by others, of course contrasted by tetia who tries her best to stand up for herself no matter how unkind the world may want to be.

[lavenderjewels]

JJK 241 Thoughts

More Takaba and Kenjaku! I don’t know if Takaba’s possible death is a stepping stone (distraction) until others fight Kenjaku or if he’ll survive a while longer. I hate saying this because I very much hated his character in every scene he was in (sometimes you just hate a character idk), but now that he’s with someone where his god awful jokes can bounce off of, I’m kind of coming around to him 🥴 All the overpowered adult characters have been dropping like flies so I don’t have high hopes or anything

Apart from Takaba’s flashback, more about Kenjaku’s character too. Genuine insight that we’ve seen with them talking to Tengen or to Yuuji’s friend. I love seeing the strange people that they end up making a connection with (Tengen, Jin, Takaba), although it does make me want a Heian era flashback more and more,,,,

I’m absolutely biased because I find Kenjaku’s character interesting, but idk I’m having a good time reading these chapters, especially after how Tsumiki was handled and the highly technical shonen fight between Gojo and Sukuna. Maybe my standards are atrocious, but the chapters have all been entertaining since then

Did my weekly quick glance through the tags—not on tumblr—but I saw a lot of people say the panel below was because of Geto??? I’m genuinely curious as to why people think this because there’s zero reason for it to not be kenjaku’s past and/or just takaba’s technique. The only times it seemed Geto’s influence was shining through was when Gojo “woke” him up and that small scene at the end of Shibuya.

These panels are great though. It’s interesting to see how Kenjaku’s mind is potentially influenced by Takaba when Kenjaku has been a constant force when it comes to manipulation and influencing the mind (thinking of the Kamo clan leaders in particular here but really everyone). It’s continuing my nonstop surprise at how much chemistry they have as a comedic duo—although, much like Jin or Tengen, I can’t see this ending well for Takaba.

I hope Takaba gets to at least make Kenjaku laugh before they die! 😔 I felt a lot for his story which has been the case for most of the regular people turned modern sorcerers imo. Like with Higuruma or Hana, there’s a lot of heart to their backstories and motivations. It’s not like the past sorcerers don’t, but a lot of them are more focused on power and fighting. Other than Uro and Angel, I was never as interested in any in-depth backstories (still hoping we get more with them!)

[thatdesklamp]

Hey! I hope you are doing well this week!!

I’ve become absolutely obsessed with Gojo’s POVs , I think the way you write him is so fascinating. I really like seeing how we get Hebi’s POV and then see Gojo’s reactions to what we read.

This will be so long, im so so sorry. Thank you for taking the time to read.

I just wanted to come in here and muse/ask questions about Gojo and his good ol’ thoughts.

My first question/musing is: When do you think Gojo actually started to realize that he had feelings for Hebi. I felt like he had feelings for Hebi before chapter 15 (2010), but it seemed as if he reacted to the idea of Hebi wanting to fall in love with two different reactions. The first one to me is that he’s offended that Hebi wouldnt ever tell him about any crushes she has had (why would she, shes had a crush on the same man since she was 14). To me, Gojo just felt super offended that Hebi keeps relationship stuff like that under-wraps. The second reaction is that he could finally(?) let himself have hope that him and Hebi could work out, that he isnt just yearning for something that isnt possible. Its like a confusing mix between the two, which I thought was super interesting.

Maybe I’m reading into Gojo’s actions wrong but I’m completely sure the shoulder injury moment where he’s just hovering over and healing her was NOT COMPLETELY INNOCENT. I also think the part during the beach vacation where Gojo is smiling at Hebi when she has her gloves removed also romantically coded. I’m just so intrigued in what Gojo is thinking because Im so sure Hebi is completely in her own head 24/7 and doesnt even register some moments.

He’s so interesting to see through Hebi’s eyes, you did such a great job with him as a character.

Feel free not to answer this one since its slightly more NSFW and about chapter 17 (im just super curious). I will not be too explicit in my wording so sorry if its worded weirdly?

I’m curious if Gojo has ever thought about Hebi while he’s doing the act like Hebi did in chapter 17 (2012). Hebi seems to be doing it casually and she doesnt even care about the thing that shes doing, but I wonder if Gojo has done it. In chapter 16, it seems like he was super focused in on Hebi despite him having a girl who has been paying attention to him (assumingely kissing him, etc). Does Gojo try and not think about Hebi that way, does he even realize that she may feel the same towards him and he’s resisting because of what he did to her when they were 15? I’m more on the inbetween of the two ideas I presented. I think Gojo really, really cares for her romantically but absolutely refuses that she feels the same because of everything that he did to her, how he broke her trust. It feels as if he’s punishing himself for his past actions. Maybe Hebi is a little obvious with her unforgiving nature she has with that incident.

I’m just so curious these two characters seem so intune and out of tune with each other and they keep missing each other on important feelings and thoughts

What happens in chapter 17 seems like Hebi is disassociating too, that shes not even there. I just feel so bad for everyone in that chapter, its so horrifying. I do hope that Hebi and her boyfriend get outta that relationship next chapter because Im sure both of them can tell it isnt working out.

thank you again for reading, you crafted such an amazing story.

Ok so here’s the thing—in my head I definitely know when I think Gojo started having feelings for Hebi, as it’s when I started writing him as having feelings for her. But idk, I’ve always been more reluctant to spell it out so explicitly, as the author, because I love the ambiguity that comes from only having one POV and I also love hearing other people’s theories and ideas. Seeing the different ways things have been interpreted is honestly one of the best things about writing for ao3 and I’ve always been so hesitant to squash that by putting in my own opinion?

And so I guess this is all one big disclaimer: just because I say stuff on the side like this, it doesn’t really make it ‘canon’ or any more worthwhile than your own interpretations? I’m such a huge advocate for ‘death of the author’ (more detail in the link below if you’re interested), that basically says the reader’s interpretation trumps the author’s intention all the time, no matter what.

Sure, I might have started writing him as being in love with her since 2006 (I didn’t, btw). However, if I didn’t convey that well enough, or if you can find enough evidence or ‘vibes’ that would disprove that, and indicate something else, then you fucking go for it. That’s your canon.

I hope that makes sense. Tl;dr, listen to me if you’d like and if you’re interested in my intentions, but don’t listen to me/don’t pay attention if you think it’ll sour your own interpretation, or if you think I’m the ultimate god on any of this. (I’m not, no matter what Ian McEwan in ‘Atonement’ tries to say—“how can a novelist reach atonement when, with her absolute power of deciding outcomes, she is also God?” blah blah blah whatever, if you haven’t heard already this is an Ian McEwan hate page)

ANYWAY. On to the actual fanfic discussion LOL. The English lit girlie in me takes over sometimes, sorry.

My actual intentions, revealed!! I’ve discussed it in comments, more ambiguously than now, but one of the big debates around Gojo’s feelings seems to be his revelation in 2010. It’s for sure some huge realisation (I think that’s pretty evident), but some people were saying how he’s clearly only just realised his feelings, and some were saying that he’s only realised the depth of them.

For me, it was the latter. I thought of it as the way I thought of Hebi’s own realisations; she actually has two, one in 2001, when she figures out that she likes him in this far-off, confusing way (“Something has changed, in the way you see him, and you realise you can no longer try to pretend it hasn’t.” -> nothing explicit verbalised, but it’s clear that she’s no longer thinking about him platonically), and then the traditional oh/on moment in 2004, where she realises she loves him. As in, love-love, Loves him.

I always figured Gojo went through something similar, which I thought was pretty cute of him, lol. For me, 2010 was his ‘oh/oh’ moment; he’s known, sure, but he’s been denying it, or he’s been explaining it some other way, or he’s just not been thinking about it. But then he realises: he’s in big, fat, capital-L Love. And so he freaks.

This explains all of your other questions, I think! The shoulder incident when they’re at his house together? Not innocent whatsoever. As people pointed out, there was no reason for him to practically be on top of her, and not for him to be getting all flustered/blushy (self-indulgent, yes, but necessary) about it, either. And the beach episode! In my head, he defo had some degree of feelings for her at that point, too: there are a few (very vague and subtle) moments, really clearly tarred by Hebi’s pov, that I did write as the tiniest hints about his feelings. Very much, if you’re looking for them, maybe maybe they’ll appear, lmao.

Such as, when Hebi’s getting changed into a swimsuit and Gojo’s back is turned, she walks past him and doesn’t look back to check his reaction to her. It takes him a “moment” (in which she is “panicked”, yes) to actually follow her, leading her to think “he’s not following [her], like [she’s] walking off to the sea on [her] own”. It’s the subtlest, tiniest thing ever… but why does he wait? Why doesn’t he just follow her straight away? If I were to write his POV of the chapter, it would definitely be highlighting that split-second delay of the first time he sees her in anything skimpier than pyjamas (a two-piece, at that!), and of him absolutely not being able to function enough to follow her. Of course, it also would include him slapping a smile on and following, even if he does have to keep his “his eyes on the sea”, just to make sure he’s not getting too distracted.

Another few moments, in the same chapter: the “affectionate, but also slightly sad” look he gives her when she smiles at her bare hands (pining central here, folks), which I think is the moment you’re referring to. Or the moment when she puts on his glasses, gives him her best Gojo-impression wink, and his “mouth closes, and his eyebrows lower, slightly. He swallows.” I’ve written it enough (especially over here) that I think it’s pretty evident that he really, really likes seeing her in his clothes. It’s a thing.

Listen, I thought I was being pretty over-the-top with my earlier Gojo-pining moments, but I listened to the comments and realised I really, really wasn’t. I tried to make it a bit more obvious as we went along, but, hey! Reader interpretation trumps all!

I don’t know how many IW readers have read my other longish fic, ‘Soli Deo Gloria’? Haikyuu, childhood friends to lovers, soulmate au with worldbuilding and religious themes, all the fun stuff. I wrote it over a year ago, which shows, at some points, in the fic (lol), but for something I wrote a while ago I can’t say I’m not pretty proud of it. Anyway, it’s written from the perspective of someone in love with his best friend, who also goes on lots of dates and never stays single, ever, and I think that mentality could definitely be applied to Gojo in this fic. I can go more in detail if people would be interested, but I think that could assuage some people’s doubts, if they think that just because he sees other women, it means he can’t also be pining away hardcore.

And then also what you mean about your ‘NSFW-related’ question (also, I’m an adult! I appreciate the care, but I’m chill and good with ff-related NSFW content and questions). I think if, pre-2011, Gojo had any thought that Hebi liked him back, he would be confessing and asking her about it asap. He’s not the type of person to let things go stagnant without acting on it; she’s much more of a passive character than he is, I’ve always thought. And yeah, I think that post-first feelings realisation, and definitely post-second, he would have thought about her the exact same way she thinks about him. Hebi’s relationship with sex is pretty awful up to this point (as you’ve said, with her apathy and disconnection towards her life, esp. towards the end of the latest chapter), and it’s something I’m going to give due attention to when it’s needed, and Gojo’s doesn’t have her same issues with physical intimacy, so it’d be certainly different; but I can see him seeking out sex as a substitute for the intimacy he’d be wanting and lacking with her.

This is a big fuckoff paragraph and I’m sorry if you were expecting something more concise! Unfortunately I am a narcissist at heart and so will always rant on about my own fics whenever I’m given the opportunity to, lol. Thank you for the ask, and I’m glad you’ve been enjoying IW!!

[litgwritersroom]

Let's Chat

Chapter Five of Love Island, Actually

read it on AO3 | chapter one | chapter four

Things are looking up for Jules in her professional and personal lives, River can’t hide the truth from her best friend, Thea gets deeper into her international affairs while Bridget and Gary have some ups and downs on their honeymoon.

JULES: ambitions

“Thank you,” Jules told their waitress, the girl having set both of their entrees down on the table before disappearing. “So, Delilah, what are you hoping to accomplish with this interview? I know Mason hasn’t done many so I’m just curious what he has to say now that you think is so important to his brand?”

“Is this the off-the-record part?” Delilah grinned, only half-kidding.

Jules smiled, reaching for the glass of Pinot Noir she’d been sipping on since they got there. “This is completely off the record, Delilah, I promise,” she said, already feeling more at ease than she had in any other pre-interview she’d done. Delilah was charming and intelligent, the kind of person Jules would have loved to grab a drink with outside of work. “Is there anything that would be off-limits? If you decide that I’m a good fit, of course. Anything I should avoid bringing up? I’ll send you a list of the questions in advance, but if you could give me an idea now so I don’t spend too much time drafting ones I won’t be able to use.”

It wasn’t typical for her to ask these sorts of things, but for someone as notorious as Mason Knowles, she knew Talia would throw a fit if they ostracised all of his fans by publishing something that wasn’t very flattering.

“The only thing we don’t want to focus on is this ‘rivalry’ with FourWay. Since Mason left the band, the blood’s stayed bad. If they want to focus their album’s promotion on the drama, that’s on them, but Mason doesn’t need to sell records by focusing on feuds.” She took a drink. “His work stands on its own. You’ll see it for yourself if we give you this interview. Mason wants you to have early access to the full album, focusing on the leading single.”

“How long have you been working with Mason, exactly? It seems that he trusts you a lot. When did you enter the picture?” she asked, more so for her own curiosity rather than satisfying an element of the story.

“We’ve been collaborating for around a year now, and we’ve both been working towards being each other’s number one focus. I’ve got less than three-quarters’ worth of clients now than when I first met Mason. He always came across as a bit of a bone-head when he was in the band, but since leaving he’s really proven to be more than the box he was forced into, and I’m so grateful to be by his side as he shows the world his potential.”

“That’s so sweet I might have to just include it in the feature,” Jules said. “Seriously, it’s very rare that managers nowadays have that level of respect and genuine dedication to their clients. So many are just in it for the paycheck.”

“It is a good paycheck if you do your job right,” she grinned. “Something I can imagine you understand well. Tell me, Jules, why you really, really want this Mason interview? Cross my heart and hope to die that I won’t be judgemental.”

“Honestly?” Jules waited for the nod that Delilah gave her before she continued on. “I never really wanted to work in music. I’ve always wanted to work for TIME Europe. Securing an interview like this…well, it would do wonders for my portfolio. As grateful as I am for my time at The Record, it’s not a magazine that I see myself staying at long-term.” Telling Delilah about all the cattiness and drama behind the scenes was all-too-tempting, but Jules knew better than to throw her job under the bus. As satisfying as it might be…

“But I think that makes me the perfect candidate,” she continued. “I’m not in this interview for the connections in the music industry that it could bring me like so many other writers on my staff. I have no ulterior motives, so to speak. I’m in this because it’s an interesting story that holds a lot of weight.”

Delilah hummed for a moment, lips pursed. “Believe me, I’m sympathetic to the cause of wanting something just out of reach. I appreciate the openness and honesty, too. This is your goal, it’s not your dream; it’s a stepping stone, but why should that make it any less significant? Why shouldn’t you fight for it? I admire that, Jules.”

Any anxiety Jules had been clinging on to after admitting her real intentions for pursuing the interview was gone in an instant upon hearing Delilah speak. “Do you admire it enough to give me the interview?”

A wry look sat across her face as she circled her wine glass in hand. “I’m rooting for you, Jules.” Delilah winked, adding, “Let’s finish this bottle of Pinot and really get into it, but as things are, I’m happy with the idea that I’ve helped a woman on her way to accomplishing her big dreams.”

“Cheers, Delilah,” Jules said, extending her own glass, tapping it lightly against Delilah’s with a wink of her own. “And here’s to dreaming.”

They finished lunch (and their wine) and said their goodbyes. Jules had been about to leave when she walked by the bar and saw Jake Wilson standing behind it, seemingly taking advantage of the lack of people seated there at noon on a Monday to count inventory. He looked up for a brief moment, meeting her gaze, and he smiled.

“Jules Taylor.”

“Jake Wilson,” she grinned, taking a seat at the empty bar. “Do you live here or something?” She put her purse down on the stool next to her own, propping her chin in her hand. 

“I try not to,” he said, placing his clipboard down on the counter. “Busy morning?” he questioned, glancing over at the table she and Delilah had been occupying a few minutes ago.

“Busy, but good,” Jules said, and when he arched an inquisitive brow at her she continued on. “I’ve been working on getting this big interview for work for what feels like months now; I mostly just need it for my portfolio but anyways I uh…I think I got it.”

“Jules! That’s amazing, congratulations,” Jake said, his smile wide.

The way he looked at her made her feel simultaneously wonderful and terrible if that were even possible. It felt good to have someone acknowledge her accomplishment, to tell her “congrats” and at least pretend to be proud of her if they didn’t really care. But it also reminded her that there was no one else for her to talk to. Suresh had been all she’d had for so long that she’d grown used to not needing anyone else.

But now? Well, now that she didn’t have him, she wasn’t sure what that left her with.

She wasn’t good at making friends, really. In Uni, she’d only had a handful of close acquaintances, people she met in classes mostly, but the majority of her time had been spent with Suresh. Even at work, she rarely spent time with any of her co-workers outside of the office. 

The realization that her only confidante was a bartender (as cute as he was), didn’t leave her feeling very warm and fuzzy, all of a sudden.

“You okay?” Jake’s voice snapped her out of whatever spiral she’d been about to go down and she nodded, ignoring the odd feeling in her chest at the concern she saw in his dark eyes.

“I’m fine. I should actually head back to the office,” she said, rising to her feet, grabbing her purse off of the neighbouring stool and sliding the strap over her shoulder. She lifted her hand in a slight wave before she headed towards the front door, unable to keep that warmth in her chest from burning even brighter as she heard his voice calling out “Goodbye Jules Taylor” right behind her.

RIVER: sharing secrets

River: so, wifey is back?

Noah: Unfortunately, yes. I wish I could see you.

River: maybe that can be arranged. i know a place.

As soon as she heard the steps approaching, River locked her phone again. She realised she was still holding some papers from her kids' homework, too distracted with the thought of talking about the possible next time she'd have with Noah to really finish grading them. So, with guilt burning in her heart, she let them pile up before fixing her hair and stared patiently at the door frame of her class until Thabi showed up.

She taught a grade ahead of River and was as sweet and quirky as they would come. 

Thabi smiled as she knocked on the door just for politeness' sake. "River, your ride is here."

River sighed, leaving the four to five papers she still needed to grade on her pile before taking off her own glasses to look back at Thabi with a grin. "I wish he would stop bothering you guys instead of just calling me."

"I asked him about it and he just told me that this way you're forced to make friends," she laughed as a mum would laugh at their kids' antics.

River just clicked her tongue humouredly as she got up from her chair. "Please, if anything he’s just being annoying," she joked, grabbing her handbag and coat before saying her goodbyes.

She left her classroom with a spring in her step. Ever since the wedding and the night she had shared with Noah, she was feeling happier than ever before. She didn't even mind having to hold the door for the head-in-the-clouds art teacher, Will, nor the off-hand comment she always would get from Johnny during lunch. 

Using her hips to help her open the door, River stepped out of the building. The sun hit her skin before she had the chance of putting her coat on, wrapping her body with much needed warmth during the November weather.

Bobby was leaning against his car. Hands in the pockets of his jeans while he looked around the car park. He was wearing his typical jeans and t-shirt combo, this time paired with a thick coat and boots instead of his typical all-star on his feet. When he clocked her, his face lit up and he beamed at her, arms open for a hug.

"There you are!" He said as soon as River shortened the distance between them. His arms enveloped her in a quick hug. "Thought you had forgotten you offered me some help at the bakery."

"Of course not," she said. Her blue eyes rolled with amusement as she took a step back, putting some distance between them. "Let's get inside your car before I freeze."

And so, they did. After years of being picked up and dropped off by Bobby ever since he got his driver's licence, River was used to the ins and outs of his car better than her own. How the seat belt would always jam halfway through if she tried to fasten it too quickly. How the radio bluetooth stopped working after they spilt Coca-Cola on his control panel. How his glove box always had too many candy bars for his own good. And exactly the angle her feet needed to be so the heater would reach them.

As she mindlessly adjusted herself to his car's peculiarities, Bobby turned the radio on. Baby, kiss it better by FourWay blew out of the speakers. It took a little more than a second for Bobby to realise which song it was before he was laughing.

"Oh, my god, turn it off!" River demanded, cheeks blushing. "So cringe."

Daring to bite back a smile, Bobby teased: "Aww, c'mon Riv, you should support your dear brother!"

Ever since they were little, Charles Edwards was the worst. A mummy's boy, he would always snitch on River's mischiefs, even when they were as little as "mum, she ate all the chocolate chip cookies!"

You could say they were not the closest of siblings.

This meant growing up he was the object of most of her jokes and when Gary and Bobby were around, he was always the butt of their joke. It was his fault, really, after all, he insisted on being the stereotypical posh teenage boy — stuck up and a real self-centred narcissist knob. So it wasn't a real surprise the trio would take his impossible flaws and make a few jokes about them. Except, of course when he wasn't around. When that was the case, the two boys would turn against River and laugh at her expense. You know, boys will be boys.

It all got so much worse when he started the band. River never really saw much future in them but they managed to build a really strong, teens-based, fan army that was very focused on buying their merch and streaming their lead single. Charlie Edwards, known as River’s annoying older brother, was now Eddie, the dream of every fifteen-year-old girl.

“This song sucks,” she sighed, changing the stations while Bobby laughed his ass off. “And as far as everyone else is concerned, his sister is really private.”

“Oh, yeah, River Edwards, known for being private,” he teased again and she rolled her eyes. “Didn’t you date one of the other members?”

“Oh, shut up!” She nudged him. “I kissed Henrik once when I was seventeen and his hair was still short. That doesn’t count.”

“That definitely counts.”

"Anyways,” she said with a huff while they drove out of the school's car park, trying to make talk about something that wasn’t her brother’s silly little band — that somehow was a massive hit now —  as she watched the post-rain pavement glint, “how did the weekend turn out for you, Bobby?" 

"Oh, you mean after you left me by myself and then Delilah also left me and I had to drink myself to sleep?" He asked, his voice filled with humour but she could hear the small hint of disapproval under it all. If only she didn't know him that well.

"I told you to have some fun, you should have listened to me," she countered. "Did you know Thea is in Spain right now? Apparently, she and Talia broke up after she caught her fucking a dude."

"Talia or Thea?"

"What?"

"Who was fucking the dude?"

"Oh, Talia!"

Bobby hissed. "Poor Thea…" but then he stopped, and glimpsed at River. "Are you changing the subject?" Now, why was he so smart when it came to it?

River only huffed, adjusting her hair. "Of course, not! I just remembered something and I thought of telling you." She cleared her throat. "How was the night with Delly before she left you on your own, then?"

"Well, I was drinking, as you told me to, and she came up." River held back a laugh. When he said it like that, it seemed like a tale out of his 'one-night stands' book. "Said she was feeling like shit and that she was eyeing Noah up all night."

Oh no.

Crossing her legs and her arms, River tried to pretend normality. "And what did you say?"

"That was probably the worst idea I've ever heard." He deadpanned as if it was the most obvious thing one could say in that kind of situation.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

"Mmm…" River simply hummed, hoping to god that would kill the conversation.

But Bobby wasn't having any of it. Bless his heart, he fucking adored her, she never doubted that for even a second. But sometimes being loved meant being taken care of, which just translated to him always wanting to know what was happening in her life.

"What?"

"What?"

"What was that 'mmm' about?"

"Nothing!" She tried to counter. "Just a regular 'mmm'."

He was looking at the road but River could feel him trying to catch a glimpse of her. She ignored it, facing out of her window, and watching as people lived their normal lives — where they hadn't fucked a married man and were about to get caught by their morally pure best friend.

Fuck, she could almost see the look on his face after he found out — the wrinkle between his brows dusted with freckles, his eyes looking puzzled as if he couldn't wrap his head around the information, his fingertips tapping against the steering wheel as his mind worked it out. She would become another person before his eyes and she could not handle that.

It was the kind of heartbreak she wouldn't ever be ready for. He was her best friend, her person. He was the best part of her and if Bobby McKenzie didn't love her anymore, what was there for her to love about herself?

"You don't do regular 'mmms'," Bobby told her, his voice a little more annoyed than it was two seconds ago. He had sensed something was totally not normal. "Tell me what's wrong!"

"There's nothing wrong!" Everything was wrong, starting with the fact he was asking her about it. Was it too late to throw herself out of the car? Maybe if she opened the door…

"Is there something about Noah?"

The thing about having a best friend of ten years was that he knew her. He knew when she was lying, when she was trying to hide something and when she had the hots for someone, anyone, even the married man. So it shouldn't shock her that Bobby was aware of her illicit crush on Noah but she couldn't help but wonder when he figured it out.

"No!" Holding the last streak of hope she still had so Bobby would let the subject die, River repeated herself. "I just…"

"You just… ?"

"I wouldn't judge her, you know, Noah's marriage is falling apart and he is… like, hot."

There was a silence in which River really thought she was out of the woods. Bobby had simply stopped talking and while that could never mean something good, she still hoped for the best and sighed with relief, finding it was over.

Until, of course, he had to ask. "Now, why would you say that?!"

"Forget it!"

"No, no… Is there something you’re not telling me?"

If you asked anyone else, they would tell you River never could keep a secret from Bobby. Even when his mother planned a surprise birthday for him when they were 16, they never, ever told River in advance. When you wanted to tell her a secret, you should know Bobby would know it as well, and vice-versa. So the reason why she really thought she could have that big of a secret without him knowing was unknown.

Calling her out of her silence, Bobby reprimanded her. "River…"

In the end, the truth was that keeping things from him killed her every single second he spent without knowing.

"Fine! Ok! I slept with Noah, happy now?!"

Nothing could explain the look on his face. It was a mix of confusion, shock and deep disappointment. The car was overtaken by pure silence, almost as if the world had stopped. River had to remind herself how to breathe. She watched him expectantly, bracing herself for the worst, as he opened and closed his mouth, eyes on the road, trying to make something out of it.

"You did what?!"

She rolled her eyes. That was it, the cat was out of the bag. Hooray! "Yeah, yeah, slutty River slept with a married man. Can we move on to the next topic, please?!"

But Bobby for the first time didn't appreciate a joke. "Are you being for fucking real right now, Edwards? Are you out of your mind?"

"I don't wanna talk about it!" She matched his tone, both of them going into fight mode. "Not with you!"

"Well, we are going to talk about it, like it or not!" He said, hands gripping hard on the steering wheel as he stole a look at her through the rearview mirror. "And what do you mean 'not with me'?"

"Because you get all judgy when someone does anything wrong."

"This ain't 'anything', River, you slept with a married man."

"A married man who likes me." She said, begging to be listened to for the first time. "For once a guy chose me over someone else, so yeah. I did. And I plan on doing it again."

"You can't be for real."

"Like you’re one to talk."

Bobby frowned and she could see his brain trying to work out what she had just said. If he thought he could magically disappear with all the memories she had of telling him Bridget wasn't worth his time or wrecking his relationship with Gary, he was wrong.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"That we both like married people but I am the only one with balls to do something about it."

She watched as realisation hit Bobby and he took a deep breath. With a low voice and a blush under his freckles, he said, "It's different…"

"How exactly is it different, Bobby? Or is it different because it's me and when I do it, it's wrong?"

He shook his head and huffed. "Please, don't turn this into something it's not."

"I'm not! It's the same thing but Bridget is in a happy relationship, and Noah is not!"

It seemed so simple in her mind. If Noah wasn't happy and his relationship was obviously one step from falling apart, why should he stop living? If his wife didn't want a divorce, what could he do if not that?

But Bobby never saw the nuance of things. "You know who else wasn't? Your father! Did that make it any less wrong?"

River hadn't felt guilt once. Not when she finished, not when she kissed him goodbye, not when she slept, not when she woke up the next morning, not when she saw the hickeys on her body, not when she texted him, not when he mentioned his wife, not when he told her it was the best sex he ever had.

But as soon as Bobby said that, it hit her all at once.

That relationship was absolutely wrong yet her consciousness had failed to mention her every single time. When Bobby's words hit her harder than her actions, what was left to her except his disappointment? With a mind so selfish it wouldn't even weigh the weight of her actions, could she claim to be better than the woman she absolutely despised? 

Her parents' unavoidable divorce was on the horizon and Bobby knew how much that had fucking damaged not only her but her mother and siblings. Her father had a home, with a loving wife and kids. Noah was different, he didn't have those. Fuck, he didn't even use a ring and River had never even met the wife. How could he ever think those things were slightly similar?

She felt the tears pricking behind her eyes and her cheeks burning. From embarrassment, maybe from guilt but most definitely from having to hear those words out of his mouth of all people.

"… Fucking great…" she whispered more to herself than to him. Pure disappointment. Yet, he heard her anyway.

"No… Riv… I didn't…" He tried to fix it, hand reaching out to her but she didn't take it. "Fuck, I'm sorry…"

River knew he didn't say anything wrong. That it was more her fault than anyone else’s. That she was the stupid girl falling for the words of a very much married man. But her pride spoke louder than her head and she just turned to the other side, weeping the tears that insisted on falling.

"Please, you knew exactly what you were saying."

"… I just don't want you to hurt yourself."

She nodded. She knew he loved her and that he would never hurt her on purpose but sometimes you just want to have the upper hand. "It's fine," she said, sniffing.

"Really?"

"Yeah, more than fine, it's great."

"Fine then," he narrowed his eyes.

"Cool."

"Great."

"Yeah."

Quiet took them over again. It was so not like them. Her mother used to say that where there was noise there were also River and Bobby. Chattering and loud laughter were almost their registered brand, a mark on their relationship that was already known for bringing chaos.

Because Bobby knew River hated the silence. He always made sure they were doing something when they were together. That there was some music playing, even in the background. She always guessed that was the kind of thing that made best friends, best friends.

She wondered if she had broken that bond.

But then he broke the silence. 

"So… Did you fuck him in my car?"

And that was worth more than any other words of apology he could have said.

"What?!" She almost gagged. "Why would I do that?!"

He laughed, "I don't know, I found a pair of pants in my backseat."

Well, what a turn of events.

"No way," her mouth hung open, face taken by complete shock. "Like… Underwear?"

"Yeah, Amazon, underwear," Bobby said, voice humoured once again. "It's not yours, then?!"

"Of course not!" She nudged him. "I wouldn't ever, oh my days, not in your car."

"Gary's then?" Bobby asked before chuckling and she followed him and soon enough they were roaring with laughter together, almost crying. 

She guessed there was no Bobby without River as well as there wasn't River without Bobby.

THEA: international headache

“Ok, so, this is only the first meeting with the director, I’ll translate everything you need to know, don’t worry,” Tim said as they walked down the hotel's hallway.

Thea had barely slept. Who would’ve thought that having her heart broken would keep her awake at night? Yet, her lack of sleep didn’t matter much right now. Nor did the whole hour she was ahead of England and all of her friends. Nor the fact the only person she had to talk to was a guy she had only met 12 hours ago. It didn’t matter. It was silliness.

What mattered was that she was dressed and ready to go at eight o’clock — even though her body was still used to London time —, that Tim was by her side to translate anything she couldn’t understand and that the director and singer were about to have a meeting in which she would be present.

But like, only in spirit, because good lord, she was tired. 

When they reached the main hall, Tim approached another woman. She was one of those tropical beauties, with long tanned legs and a really fit body, looking gorgeous. Not that Thea paid attention to that, of course not, she was not looking for attractive people, no!

… but a little peep never killed anybody, right?

Tim spoke to the woman in a language Thea would guess was Spanish. She laughed way too hard at whatever the fuck he told her and slapped him lightly on his shoulder, making him laugh back and blush. Well, Thea might not have understood what they said but she knew flirting when she saw it.

“Tim?” Thea called for him, motioning at her Smart Watch so he would get a hint. It would be such a fucking disaster to be late for her first meeting with the director.

“Oh, Thea, this is Valentina, she’s part of the team!”

Ah, now it makes more sense, Thea thought to herself before her eyes moved from him to Valentina, who had the kindest smile she had seen in the last 48 hours. “Nice to meet you, my name is Valentina but you can call me Val!” she said with a half-American, half-Latino accent.

“Nice to meet you, too!” Thea shook the hand Valentina had offered. “I’m Thea but my friends call me Thee.”

“You never told me that,” Tim butted in.

“You never asked!”

“Well, I guess that is true.”

“So,” Valentina interrupted them, clapping her hands together. “I will be your assistant for this job, Thea, so, don’t worry about your schedule, I’ll take care of it all for you. And, well, Tim as well.”

“I’ll be counting on you, then!” Thea smiled back before looking from Tim to Valentina and pointing at her watch again. “And… I guess we have a meeting now?”

“Oh, shoot, yeah!” Tim gasped. “Let’s go.”

What a fantastic team.

Valentina guided them to one of the meeting rooms. Apparently, the place was one of those that were used to receive companies and they had a bunch of utility rooms like those, or at least that was what Tim told her when Thea asked what kind of hotel had meeting rooms.

Even though she was nervous about coming in last, as soon as they stepped inside the room, they found the place nearly empty. There was only a man and a woman, sitting near to each other, discussing something in what now Thea could recognise as Spanish.

Tim said something, announcing their presence, and then the man replied. Thea watched as the four of the Spanish speakers talked to each other, awkwardly putting her to the side as she looked down at her own feet. Maybe travelling to another country wasn’t the smartest decision she had ever made.

That was when a man showed up next to her.

As a model, Thea was used to being around tall people but there was something about that man’s presence that really stuck out to her. That close to him, she could even scent the smell of ocean and breeze that surrounded his body, adding to the fresh look he had on his face. He looked so casual, so in the right place, unlike her.

He had a geometric-patterned, white buttoned-up shirt missing the first few buttons, and blue board shorts paired with old-school Vans. On his head, a white panama hat was hiding his dreadlocks, while a black cord scapular hung around his neck. Oh, and he was breathtaking.

Thea didn’t know what was exactly the thing that made him so good-looking. Maybe it was a mix of things instead of just one especially. It had something to do with the way he looked so peaceful, or maybe how his cheeks had a blush to them, or even how long his lashes were, or, who knows, maybe it was the soft look in his eyes.

It was safe to say she was looking for way too long when she realised he was talking to her.

“Sorry?” she asked in a reflex after not understanding a single word — partly because she was paying attention to his looks and partly because it was in another language, again. 

“He said his name’s Nicky and asked yours,” the blonde girl behind him said. Wait, how long has she been there?  “I’m AJ, by the way, his translator.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m Thea, the model.” Even though she had tried her best to sound as normal as she could, there was no way a conversation which needed a third party could ever sound normal.

“Ela disse que é a modelo, Thea,” AJ told the man, the only thing understandable was Thea’s name.

“A gente acertou em cheio com a modelo, hein?! Muito gata,” he said.

AJ giggled, making Thea a little bit anxious as to the exchange that was unfolding before her eyes. “He said you’re beautiful.”

Oh.

She barely noticed when everyone was sitting down; barely breathed when he got the seat next to hers; barely understood while they were discussing the video details in a half-English half-Spanish conversation; barely let herself look to the side, otherwise, she would be taken by the most incredible view. 

Nicky's presence was, to say the least, the most overwhelming it could be, positively and negatively. Suddenly, the once big and fancy meeting room was as small as her room in the loft she shared with Lottie. She wondered if that was the very cool consequence of being famous: even international models would be starstruck in our presence, even if they didn't know who you were five minutes ago.

When the meeting was done, Thea hoped that Valentina had taken the notes she said she would and then told Tim she had a really bad headache and was going to take a break in her room, if he couldn't explain that to the big boss director. He reassured her it was fine and told her everyone could understand she was jetlagged.

So she left but not before stealing one last glance at Nicky, who was staring back.

His smile was like sunrise and she found herself blushing, heartbeat so fast under her shirt. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she left the room, wondering if her fake international headache was becoming real.

BRIDGET: hot & cold

She stood at the balcony of their suite, bracing her arms against the wooden railing as she took a deep breath and watched the air condensing as she slowly exhaled, the white wisps blending seamlessly after a moment with the white scenery surrounding her. When it was high noon the sunlight glinting off the snow was nearly blinding, but with sunset approaching now the sky was painted in a gradient of several tones of gold, pink, lilac and blue, creating the most unbelievably beautiful sight. The surrounding mountains with their snowed peaks made it all look even more majestic and otherworldly.

Bridget sighed again, a smile forming on her lips even as she remembered Delilah telling her she was crazy for wanting to honeymoon somewhere as cold as the Swiss Alps during winter. Her best friend turned sister-in-law had said they should’ve gone someplace warm, like the Caribbean or Southeast Asia with their wonderfully hot beaches to get away from the dreary cold of winter in the UK instead of going to an even colder place. But the truth was Bridget and Gary had always loved winter and all the snow and how cosy it made everything, so this had been a perfect place for them.

The village of Gstaad looked so quaint and magical, and with the lead up to Christmas the place was already fully decorated for the season: there were pine trees, big red bows and twinkling lights all around. That and the local architecture created a whole atmosphere that almost made one expect to find Santa’s workshop around a corner. The honeymooning couple had already taken the obligatory tour around the streets, visiting the renowned restaurants and the cute shops, looking for gifts and mementos to take back home.

The area was mostly known as a prime location for winter sports and the amazing scenery. She wasn’t much of a skier, but of course they did it all: going down a few slopes (which was fun, even if she did fall on her bum a few times), ice skating (which she fared much better, if she’d say so), even doing some trekking in the snowy woods and going up to see one of the famous peaks.

She knew Gary loved all that outdoorsy stuff, but she had to admit her favourite part was the five star hotel. The restaurant was amazing, there was everything they could want for evening entertainment like a bar and game room, not to mention the spa treatments and the outdoor heated pool they got to enjoy while literally being surrounded by snow. They had a gorgeous suite with their own fireplace, an enormous spa bathtub and a balcony with one of the best views all around. Which was where she was now, just taking everything in as if she could take mental snapshots of the place, and she suddenly realised that she’d been alone for quite a while.

Where the hell was her husband now?

She smiled to herself, still getting used to that word and the fact that she did indeed have a husband, then walked back into the warmth of the suite, shedding the heavy coat that had been wrapped around her. She looked around the bedroom and called his name as she went down the steps, checking the lower floor with the sitting room but she could see no sign of him.

Just then the front door opened and the man himself walked in.

“Hey, honey,” Bridget greeted him with a smile. “Where you been? I was just about to organise a search party,” she said jokingly as she leaned against the small table in the breakfast nook.

“Humm?” He said lightly as he turned to her. “Oh nothing, I just had to take a call,” he said with a smile, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. “My mum, you know how she gets,” he added with an eye roll.

Bridget merely raised an eyebrow back at him. While she knew Juliet was quite frankly the epitome of the overbearing mother and she was constantly sending her son messages and calling even while they were on their honeymoon, Gary had never hid any conversations with his mother from her. In fact, he’d always made sure to include her in them because he said if he had to suffer through his mother’s ramblings then she needed to bear the burden with him and they’d always make a joke of the whole thing, rolling their eyes and making silly faces to each other as they listened to her and answered back when necessary. So that and the fact that he seemed to be trying too hard for nonchalance made her feel this wasn’t exactly true.

It was only a few moments of her staring later that Gary relented. “Okay, fine,” he said with a shrug. “It was a work call.”

If possible, that actually made her more aggravated than the fact that he’d initially lied he’d been on the phone with Juliet. She loved Gary, she truly did with all her heart, but she’d never met someone quite as obsessed with work as he was. Sometimes it got too much.

“Seriously?” She still had that raised eyebrow, and she crossed her arms to make sure he could see how displeased she was in case there was still any doubt.

“C’mon, Bridge,” he said with a sigh. “You know I wouldn’t take it if it wasn’t serious.”

“You always say it’s serious, Gary.”

“Well, yeah. Construction jobs are serious work,” he argued back, a slight frown marked between his eyebrows. “Not only are there several safety and regulation issues that I need to keep an eye on, remember that now I’m responsible for the whole company.”

“I know, I get it,” she said, raising a placating hand. She did not need to hear him going off about how stepping up as the CEO was a huge responsibility and too many people were counting on him. “I know you’ve taken over for your grandpa only a few months ago and you want to do a good job. But hun, this is the only honeymoon we’re gonna get. It’s literally a once in a lifetime thing and we promised we would leave work back home while we’re here.”

“I know,” he said, his eyes and the lines on his forehead softening a little. “And we had a few wonderful days here just the two of us, didn’t we?”

“We had,” she agreed with a small nod.

“But if there’s an emergency I can’t very well leave my people hanging, can I?” He said, making a gesture with his hands as if asking her to be reasonable.

“You left people in charge while you’re out,” she countered, tilting her chin up a little and taking a few steps forward, getting into his personal space. “And we didn’t even take a full week to be here. I don’t want to lose the magic of this place worrying about things back home. Can’t it be just the two of us, at least while we’re here?”

He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a soft smile. “You know it’s just the two of us.”

“Not when you’re going outside to take work calls,” she pointed out, leaning back a little to look him in the eye, even as she accepted his embrace and wrapped her arms loosely around his waist. “Look, I also have things I need to worry about, what with both Rocco and Thea taking off so suddenly. But I’m trusting Noah is handling it until we’re back, and you should trust Najuma to take care of things for a few days. She’s your work partner and the COO for Construction Operations Rennell & Reid, after all.”

He nodded a little, seeing her point. “You’re right,” he said with another smile. “Yeah, you’re right, darling.”

She beamed at hearing his pet name for her. “Of course, I am. You should know I’m always right, by now.”

“Yeah, you really are.” He let out a low chuckle before leaning down to give her a soft kiss. “I’m sorry. If this happens again, I’ll just tell people to talk to Naj and that I’ll get back to them next week.”

“Thanks, hun,” she said, wrapping her arms tightly around him and breathing in his scent as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “It means a lot to me.”

“You’ll let me make it up to you?” The husky tone of his voice in her ear sent shivers down her spine.

“Maybe,” Bridget answered with a smirk, her dark eyes already twinkling with excitement.

She did let him make it up to her later that night. But she might’ve enjoyed herself a little too much ‘punishing’ him as well. But she figured it was fair, after all, how was he supposed to learn his lesson unless she made a point?

Gary laughed a little when she showed him what she’d brought over in her luggage and what exactly she had in mind, but then he grinned broadly and said he was game. One of the many things she loved about this man was how willing he was to try things out, as long as she was with him and it was something they both thought would be fun.

She knew the pink fluffy handcuffs and the rest of the kit had been a half-serious, half-joking gift from one of her uni friends for her hen party. After all, Blake had known of certain predilections and curiosities of hers for a long while now. But truthfully Bridget had never felt comfortable enough with her partners to explore these things.

Until Gary, that is. With him, she felt she could try anything, at least once.

Initially, she’d thought she’d like to be the one restrained — and honestly, she still thought she’d enjoy the hell out of it, on another occasion. But since the idea was to make Gary regret the errors of his way, so to speak, they’d decided he’d be the one tied up first.

“Is this okay?” She asked with a rather nervous smile as she snapped one of the cuffs around his wrist. She was glad they’d made sure to get a room with a king-sized bed that came with a beautifully carved headboard as she looped the handcuffs through the spaces above Gary’s head and closed the other cuff around his other wrist.

“It’s more than okay, babe,” he reassured her with a grin, his blue eyes practically sparkling up at her. He tilted his chin up and she leaned down, teasing a slow, tantalising kiss as she pressed her lips to his, her tongue swiping his lower lip. He opened his mouth, his tongue meeting hers in a series of languid, sensual movements that left them both a little breathless.

It was just what she needed to feel emboldened enough and, after checking on the restraints that tied his feet to the foot of the bed, Bridget set out to tease Gary until he’d be positively begging her for mercy.

She started by kissing and caressing his exposed skin, starting at the hollow of his throat, leaving slight bite marks on his shoulders and collarbone. Her hands travelled down his chest and abs, her nails scratching gently as she took her time, her lips following as she brushed kisses after the invisible path her hands marked. The way his breath caught when she reached one of his sensitive spots was music to her ears and she felt a little heady with how completely exposed he was, how he was literally putting himself in her hands for her to do as she pleased.

If she were honest, she’d never been a blowjob enthusiast. She knew some of her friends loved giving oral, but she’d always rather be on the receiving end. But having him restrained and her being the one solely responsible for his pleasure did something to her. He could barely move his hips, even as he pressed the heels of his feet against the bed for leverage as she took him completely in her mouth. She licked, sucked and teased him in all the ways she knew would drive him crazy and she felt herself growing so excited that she was the one causing him to react with soft moans and groans, curse words falling like a blasphemous litany from his lips.

She could feel he was close, as his stomach tightened and his thighs seemed to shudder under her hands, and she eased her lips off him with a loud pop. He let out a loud gasp as she licked her lips and lifted her eyes to meet his. He groaned and strained against the cuffs around his wrists, but she merely sent him a sweet smile as she sat back on her thighs between his legs.

Bridget brought one of her hands up and made a trail down her own body, watching as Gary avidly kept track of her movements. The sound he made when her fingers reached for her centre was a mix between a moan and a whimper. She teased herself for a few moments, building on the pleasure she already felt running through her veins before she leaned forward and wrapped her lips around his length once more.

She honestly lost track of time as she did this over and over, bringing him to the very edge only to back off and tease herself as he was forced to watch. To be fair, she also always stopped just before she could reach her own climax, barely containing her own whimper as she caught her breath and leaned forward to take him into the heat of her mouth once more.

She could feel the desperation rolling off of him, his body completely straining in her direction as if she had him pulled by a string. His muscles strained against the cuffs around his wrists and ankles, his body trembling with sweat glinting off his skin as he tried to buck against her lips. They’d established a safe word before starting this, but he hadn’t cracked yet. Still, she could see it in his eyes, he was on his breaking point — only he was too stubborn to say it out loud. She eased off his erection, mindful of how oversensitive he was and she paused for a few moments, the two of them breathing heavily in the still air of their room.

She crawled up until her lips hovered just above his and he pushed up, taking her into a desperate, messy kiss that left her head spinning. She gasped against his lips, and asked, “do you want me to untie you?”

“No,” he growled even as he strained against the cuffs. “But f-fuck ─ I-I need ─ Bridge!”

Even though he seemed incapable of completing his thoughts, she knew what he meant. She pressed her forehead against his and said soothingly, “I know, baby. I got you.”

She positioned herself above his hips, making sure to keep a light touch so he wouldn’t be overwhelmed. She was so ready for him that they both gasped when his tip first touched her wet folds, then she pushed down until she’d taken his entire length.

“Oh my fucking god,” Gary hissed as he closed his eyes and pulled against the cuffs on reflex, but then he snapped his eyes open to look at her and she leaned forward, meeting his lips even as she flexed her hips.

“Oh fuck,” she gasped against his mouth, as she could feel the tendrils of pleasure building with the slightest of movements.

“Babe, I’m not ─ I can’t─”

“It’s okay,” she whispered, once more meeting him for a kiss as she reached her hands up and laced her fingers with his as she moved her hips against him. He arched his back and levered his hips as best as he could, thrusting up into her, meeting her rocking movements and it wasn’t long before she felt him tensing under her.

Tremors wrecked his whole body and she kept on riding him as she felt him being overcome by his orgasm. She could swear stars exploded behind her eyelids as she reached her own climax with a muffled cry against his lips.

Time seemed to stand still as they came down from the high and simply recovered their breaths. Bridget reached up with slightly trembling fingers and removed the cuffs from his wrists, Gary immediately wrapping his arms around her. She made a move to sit up to remove the restraints around his ankles, but he just shook his head and kept her firmly pressed against his chest.

“Fuck me,” he said after a moment, laughter bubbling up with his words. Before she could respond with a cheeky ‘I just did’ and he said, “listen, if that was supposed to be punishment for bad behaviour I might just start pissing you off more often on purpose.”

“Don’t you dare,” she said with a chuckle even as she pressed a soft kiss to his neck. “Or maybe I could just threaten never doing this again if you cross me.”

He gasped in mock outrage, making her chuckle again and he turned to press a kiss to her temple. “I love you so much, darling.”

“I love you too, hun.”

JULES: turn around

Jules went to the office early Wednesday morning, as much of a mix of emotions as she’d been when she’d left Sweet Cheeks Monday afternoon. Today was a little harder considering she was supposed to be meeting her lawyer during her lunch to review the divorce papers; they’d look over them and then schedule a time to meet with Suresh and his own lawyer when they were ready to sign. 

It felt like a storm cloud was hanging over her head, as dramatic as that sounded. Any high that she might still be feeling from how well her lunch with Delilah went had been washed away by the realization that her divorce was moving full-steam ahead. Despite the fact that she wanted to sever her ties with Suresh, it didn’t make it any easier. It definitely should have made it easier, she should have been ready to sign those papers and be done with it, but she just wasn’t ready to admit that she’d failed.

Jake’s words suddenly rang in her mind. 

It doesn’t mean you failed, it just means you grew and you changed, and maybe he didn’t grow and change alongside you. 

He had a point, didn’t he? Jules had always felt like her ambition had been bigger than her relationship, her desire to do more so much greater than her husband’s. Maybe she’d finally outgrown him, after all?

She didn’t even realize she was standing outside of her office, the walk there a hazy memory. Jules went in and settled down behind her desk, prepared to tackle the mountain of emails likely waiting for her. What she hadn’t been expecting to see was Delilah’s name sitting at the very top of her inbox.

Jules,

We’d love for you to do the interview. I’ll follow up with more information soon.

It was great talking to you and I look forward to working more with you.

Delilah

Holy shit. Had she really gotten it? She’d had such a good feeling leaving lunch on Monday but she hadn’t thought she would actually get the interview. If anything, she was fully expecting a very kind rejection letter to be sitting in her inbox, not this. That black cloud hanging over her disappeared in an instant as she read over the email again and again, soaking up every word.

This wasis exactly what she needed. This interview would give her the chance to move to a better magazine, to write about things she was actually passionate about rather than about who was going to be the next to chart the Top 40. Not that she didn’t respect the people she worked with, but it wasn’t what she wanted to do. 

She sent a quick message to their marketing director, Hope, letting her know they’d need to get a promo shoot in the works before she headed towards Talia’s office. The thought of seeing her boss today of all days didn’t really instil a whole lot of confidence in her but she just needed to get it out of the way. Then she could focus all of her attention on her research and drafting her questions.

When Jules approached the door to Talia’s office, it was open just a tad, far enough that she could hear bits and pieces of the whispered argument happening inside. She cracked open the door a bit more, not even surprised at the sight of Suresh standing in there, the lines of his body tense and defensive. 

“What do you want, Jules?” Talia bit out, reluctantly drawing her attention away from Suresh to focus on her, instead.

Something akin to anger flared up in her chest, but she forced herself to take a deep breath before she spoke. “I was just coming by to let you know that I secured the Mason Knowles interview. His manager just emailed me.”

Suresh’s green eyes widened as he turned to look at her, the shock on his face almost as satisfying as it had been the other day when she’d told him she knew about Talia’s fiancée catching them together. “What do you mean you secured the interview? I’ve been trying to get in contact with his manager for months now, how did you––”

“I already emailed Hope so she could start organizing the shoot. Once I have the details nailed down, I’ll send it to you. That’s all,” Jules said, giving them both a sharp look before she left, shutting the door firmly behind herself.

As soon as she was back in her office, she sent a quick email to her attorney, asking to reschedule. The last thing she needed was to ruin her good mood with what would no doubt be a hellish meeting. She would ride this high for as long as she could, knowing that she’d finally succeeded in something that he hadn’t. For so long, it had felt like she was competing alongside him and losing every step of the way. When they first got together, he told her he admired her ambition, but now she was starting to wonder if he just liked that he thought he could always do better than her.

She worked her morning away, contacting everyone she needed to make sure that this interview went off without a hitch. By the time lunch came around, she wasn’t particularly hungry so she headed to the lounge to make herself a coffee so she could power through the rest of the day.

“Jules!”

She’d just finished adding her creamer when a voice sounded from the doorway. She looked up to see Hope standing there, a bright smile on her face. For a moment, Jules wondered if the marketing director had her confused with someone else but no, Hope was looking right at her. 

“Oh, hi!” Jules said, giving the other woman a smile of her own. “Did you uh, get my email earlier?”

“Yeah, I did, but I was actually coming to ask you if you had plans after work?” Hope asked, and Jules shook her head, bringing her coffee mug to her lips.

“No. No plans,” she confirmed before taking a sip of the drink.

“A few of us were going to go grab drinks after work if you wanted to join? It’s just myself, Jen, and Blake—we always go to Sweet Cheeks on Wednesdays to have wine and decompress. The bartender, Allegra, is a friend of Jen’s and always treats us really well. And by that I mean she always over pours our glasses,” Hope said, and Jules had to fight the urge to let her surprise show on her face.

She hadn’t thought anyone in the office really knew who she was, or if they did, they only knew her because of Suresh. And they hadn’t exactly been a couple that got invited to things…

But she and Suresh weren’t together anymore. And now it was like people could really see her.

“That sounds great. Yeah, I’d love that,” she said, and Hope’s smile grew.

“Amazing. We’ll all meet in the lobby and walk over together, okay? I’ll see you then!” the other woman said before she left the lounge, leaving Jules smiling into her cup of coffee.

[imtherain]

The Dangers of Falling: One

Heyo

I debated posting any of this at all because it’s not the best I’ve written but eh, I wanted a fic with a female love interest and haven’t been able to find one, so I made one myself. 

This is the first part of a longer fic, who knows if I’ll finish it at all. I have a terrible track record with these sorts of things.

Basically, time traveler from our day and age, goes back to steal shit from the 1700s/Golden Age of Pirates, and one day bumps into Blackbeard. Shenanigans and such ensue. The first at least two chapters will be before the events of OFMD.

General Fic Warnings for the series:  Named OC - Amaryllis/Ama. Potentially smut but I’m undecided on it. For sure flirting, kisses probably, and some violence overall. Thruple. EdxAmaxStede, or rather, EdxAma and then EdxStede/EdxAma, and even more eventually EdxAmaxStede because I am greedy shut up

Warnings: Drinking, some vague allusions to sex I guess. Pirates. Time Traveler explanation because I hyper focused on that for some reason.  I promise it’ll get more exciting later.

ANYWAY

~~~

"If you fancy the woman, go woo her," Izzy Hands groaned after watching his Captain staring at a woman across the bar. She wasn't anything special in Izzy's eyes. Just another woman, though she was a bit oddly dressed. She looked like she hadn't seen much hardship, so he figured she must be some high bred thing looking for adventure. Izzy grinned into his drink thinking how she'd surely get into more trouble than she bargained for once Blackbeard got his hands on her.

"Maybe I will," Blackbeard took a sip from his drink but didn't move. His eyes were trained on the woman. 

She was wearing dark pants, knee high boots. They both looked well made. She wore a white cotton shirt that had a wide collar, which showed far more of her neck and clavicle than he'd ever seen a woman wear that wasn't selling herself. The sleeves were oversized and loose around her arms. Over the whole thing she wore an open duster type coat, sleeveless. It looked like she'd taken some wealthy landowners dressing gown and cut off the sleeves. Thick brocade fabric in blues and greens. He'd never seen a woman, or really anyone, dress like that before her. 

But her wild manner of dress wasn't why he was staring. Blackbeard had in fact, seen her before.

It was just over a month ago. He had seen her pickpocket several men in a different bar, in a different port town. She smiled at them and laughed lightly while her hands roamed into their pockets and stole their coins and trinkets. Blackbeard had followed her then, hoping to see if she wanted to work for him for a while. She was remarkably good at what she was doing.

As he watched the woman laugh now, drinking with some locals, he couldn't help but remember the way she snuck off into the trees that last time. How she had stopped to check to see if she was followed. He had kept to the shadows and she missed him entirely. Whether that was his hiding skill or her ignorance he wasn’t sure. But he saw her take a deep breath and disappear with a sound like a tree snapping in a gale. The sound of a hull as a cannon ball guts it.

And in the grass, a charred mess of lines, that when he got closer, appeared to be some sort of flower made from too many angles. 

"Captain?" Izzy brought him out of his thoughts. 

"Don't wait up," Blackbeard grinned as he stood. Izzy just chuckled as Blackbeard headed across to where the odd woman sat, her feet propped up on the table. 

The table got quiet all at once. Dark eyes peering down at them, making them shrink into their seats. 

"Captain, sir," one of the men stammered. 

"Can we get you a drink?" Another offered.

The woman looked up at the new man, took in his wild hair, long dark beard, leather jacket. Only one sleeve… she liked the look.

Her eyes were blue and curious, but she did not seem to recognize him.

"You should," Blackbeard said to the men, not taking his eyes off the woman. She just kind of smiled up at him as all three of her drinking friends left to get this wild man a drink. 

"Captain?" She asked. She wondered who he was that made her new friends so skittish. She didn’t care as much that they left, as they had already told her what she’d needed to know. How there was a man in town with a whole chest full of gold coins and candlesticks, and that it was well guarded. That guarded part didn’t bother her, she had her ways. She just needed to know the where.

"I want to know where you got that coat," he drawled, taking one of the newly vacated seats. She shifted to put her feet back on the floor.

"Funny, I was going to ask where you got yours," she smirked at him. Her face was glowing with drink he thought. She knew it was a blush because she thought he was pretty.

"I know a guy," he shrugged.

"Bought mine from a dress shop in London, custom made." she told him. "I feel like I should know who you are by the way my friends reacted to you," 

"Names Blackbeard," he couldn't help but grin at the way her blue eyes widened. Clouds parting to reveal the sky.

"Thee Blackbeard? Edward Teach?" She clarified, excited. He was surprised she knew his second name. Also surprised she knew Blackbeard but had no idea what he looked like.

"Edward Teach, born on a beach, that’s me." 

“I did a whole report on you in school,” The edge of her mouth tipped up into a wry smile.

“School?”

“Yeah, I suppose educating women isn’t something they do much here,” She shrugged as though that was obvious.

The three sailors that had been keeping her company came back with drinks for the Captain. Each one set a glass of either rum or whiskey down before him and stood there for a moment before he acknowledged them at all.

"Bugger off," he told them with a tip of his head. They scattered like flies. 

The woman chuckled slightly and grabbed one of the drinks they'd brought him. 

"So what does the infamous Blackbeard want with little old me?" She asked. He had a smirk on his face while he watched her take a sip of his drink. She knew who he was now and still had no fear of him. 

Fascinating. 

"I really did want to know where you got that coat," he admitted. Half truth.

He took one of the other glasses and drank from it.

"Like I said, London," 

"Never much cared for London," he said. 

"I only go there for shopping, the people generally suck," he couldn’t place her accent but it sounded lovely. He found he wanted to hear her talk more, just to hear it lilt.

"What do they call you?" Blackbeard asked. 

"Amaryllis," she told him. He'd never heard such a name.

For the moment he decided to wait to ask her about the mystery of her disappearing act, that could wait. He was happy enough to simply share drinks with her. Watch how her skepticism faded into a relaxed air of companionship. Her whole face danced through her emotions as she told him about how she was only in town looking for money.

“In a way, I suppose I’m a pirate too, but with no strings attached,” She smiled at him.

“How’s that then?” Edward mused watching her mischief dance across her face.

“Well, I steal stuff and love the sea, basically a pirate,” She argued. He chuckled.

“Pirates are more than that,” 

“I break the law a lot,” She offered.

“That’s closer,” 

“And like I said, a pirate with no strings attached. I don’t need a ship, I don’t need a crew. I don’t need a Captain telling me what to do,” She wiggled her eyebrows at him and he smirked against the rim of his glass. She was something else.

“That just makes you a thief, luv,” He said a bit more seriously than the moment called for. Amaryllis just laughed.

“Semantics,” She finished her drink and someone brought her a new one before she could stand.

Blackbeard loved how easily he got Ama talking like they were old friends. She was strange, animated, and intelligent. Charming. They shared another drink and when she was thoroughly lubricated, he went in for the kill. 

"So how do you do that whole disappearing act, then?" He asked as though he was asking about the weather. He sipped his drink to hide his wry smile. 

She froze, but tried to recover.

"What are you talking about?" There was no way he could know. 

"Bought a month back, saw you pickpocket half a bar. I followed you out into the trees and bang, you disappeared like god herself came down and plucked you right into the sky.” He took another slow drink from his cup, his eyes steady and dark while he held her gaze.

"Why would you follow a pickpocket?" She leaned forward, hoping the challenge would divert him.

"How did you disappear?" He countered, he leaned forward to meet her challenge with his own. She realized all at once that he wasn’t going to let this go that easily. Blackbeard, of course, wasn’t used to losing a battle, let alone a battle of wits or stubbornness.

“Well god had nothing to do with it,” Amaryllis scoffed, throwing herself back into her chair.

“Demons then? Or are you a witch? A siren perhaps?”

“Funny,” She rolled her eyes. “You call me a siren as if you’d ever heard me sing,” 

“Your voice is sweet enough,” Backbeard watched her blush at the compliment. 

Ama suddenly found herself out of her depth. Everything she knew told her not to tell someone in the past about herself, about the future. And Blackbeard of all people? She knew too much about him to talk with him much longer.

"I'm a time traveler," Amaryllis said anyway. She watched his face go from confusion to intrigue and back again. 

"The fuck is that?"

She should leave and not look back.

"It means, I can go backwards and forwards through time. In fact, to me, today? Right here right now? Is the past. All this is happening before I was ever born," she said. His brow folded into a frown. 

"How?" 

"Honestly I'm not sure how it works…something to do with the fact that everything is electricity…like lightning." she admitted. "All I really know is that I can do it," 

"That's fucking mental," his eyes were suddenly filled with childish delight. "Can you show me?"

"Fuck no," she scoffed. "Technically I shouldn't even have told you that much," she drank from her glass and tried to think of a way out. But his brown eyes and wild enthusiasm were refreshing. And she was terribly, terribly, lonely.

"Got any other magic powers?" He asked. 

"I don't know that it's magic exactly, but I can teleport a bit as well, makes landing safely easier. But both things make me super tired so I can't just go places willy nilly," 

"Teleport?"

"Basically, I can move from one place to another without walking. It's similar to the time travel, but less effort and energy. If I’m well rested, I can snap between places a few times before I pass out or worse."

"I don't know know half of what the fuck you're on about but keep talking," he leaned forward and she rolled her eyes. He couldn't believe how blue her eyes were. 

"You really want to know?" Skeptical but hopeful. She hadn't been able to talk about her powers with anyone, in any time period. The other travelers she'd met were mostly just passing through and very rarely stopped to talk to her. Except Kolin, but he was a jerk at best, an asshole usually, and pretentious all the time.

"I haven't heard anything even half this interesting in…" he thought for a second. "Ever." She laughed again. "So if you're not from here, where are you from?"

"Well I am actually from The New World, but it's much different by the time I come around, and not at all new anymore." She shook her head for a second, the absurdity of the whole thing was not lost on her. "I'm from about 300 years in the future," 

"No shit. You look good for your age," he offered. She laughed again.

"Being negative 300 and change is surprisingly good for your skin," She joked.

“You said if you snap too many times you pass out or worse, what’s that about?”

“It takes a lot of energy to Travel. Time Travel is the most work, especially coming this far. When I land I usually have to sleep for a while before I can function at all. The initial bit is like waking up drunk,” Ama said, trying to say it in a way he’d understand.

“Drunk or hungover?” 

“Depends on the trip,” Ama admitted. “This trip was almost dreamlike, as though I’d been awoken in the middle of a dream and it didn’t want to let me go. Almost walked right off a pier,” She laughed at herself.

“What’s the ‘worse’ option?”

“Umm,” Ama felt herself blush in shame. She hadn’t overdone it in awhile, but she knew it was a terrible thing when she did.

“That bad huh?” 

“Yeah, well, everything is electricity, and if I do too much, the electricity in me and around me kind of arc flashes…explodes. Sank a whole ship like that one time on accident,” 

“I’ve sank a few ships,” Blackbeard smiled almost with venom. “Nothing to be ashamed of,” 

Amaryllis looked at him for a long moment, her blue eyes turbulent. She wanted to believe him, to let his words make it ok. To ease the beast in her chest that growled and wanted her to destroy more. To let the lightning out.

“Hearing what you have, you don’t think I’m a monster?” It was a stupid question, but Ama knew she wouldn’t see him after this, so who cared.

“Sounds like you’re a good time,” Blackbeard mused. “Could use a lady like you on my crew, whatdaya say? Looking for work?”

“You’re insane,” Serious voice, hopeful eyes.

“I wouldn’t get half the shit done that I get done if I was sane.” He agreed.

“Jesus fuck,” Ama rubbed her eyes. She was more drunk than she had planned on getting. Her limbs were loose and her head was swimming, but she had yet to descend into the giggles or the crying that she knew was 50/50 when that point was reached.

“Is that a yes?”

“No, I’m a thief not a pirate I recall someone telling me,” She tipped her glass to him and drained it.

“How do you figure out where to land when you travel here?” Edward asked. She pursed her lips thoughtfully.

“Usually, I aim for a town of some kind, I have a map back home of this time period, so I have a better chance of getting where I want to go.” Ama then got a wild excitement in her eyes. “I did figure out an even better way though,” She hadn’t had anyone to tell how clever she was for her pendant trick.

Ama was surprised to find herself as comfortable talking than she should have.

"And this baby?" She pulled a long chain from the pocket inside her duster. Attached to the chain was a silver pendant, about two fingers wide, and three tall. Oval, well loved, dark silver. "This is my shortcut. Sometimes I leave it in a place I want to return to. And so far no one has stolen it before I returned for it," 

"A short cut?" 

"Yeah, so it's a very long trip, right? Sometimes it's easier to have a point to aim at rather than a general destination." She put the pendant back in her pocket. "I guess that part is a little bit magic, I had to do a sort of spell to tie the pendants to each other and then to me." She pursed her lips and hummed, surprised she hadn't thought about it like that before. 

"Fucking mental," he said for maybe the hundredth time. 

"It kind of is," she agreed. Blackbeard had a plan forming in his head now. This woman was the most interesting thing he'd come across in years and he wasn't about to just let that go.

The two spent the rest of the night talking. Mostly Edward asking questions and Ama answering them. And she was thrilled to be heard for once. 

But she knew when she left that night, she would never see Blackbeard again. Even if he was far more charming than the history books had suggested. Even if she kind of wanted to see him and his mischief filled brown eyes again.

"I need to go find a place to sleep for the night, but it's been wonderful talking to you, Captain," she said "captain" like a term of endearment and he ate it up. 

"I've got a ship," he offered. Ama laughed again, knowing that couldn’t mean anything less than sordid, a slight blush coloring the tips of her ears.

“While that sounds fun and all, I really do need to go.” She thought for a moment. “I need to go back home actually, I’ll let you watch this time if you want.”

“Fuck. Yes please,” He almost moaned and she couldn’t help the smile from forming on her face. She’d never met someone who thought she was so interesting before, she would miss it. Miss him even maybe.

“Come on then,” Ama smiled as she stood and headed for the door. She felt her cheeks get hot when Blackbeard put his arm around her, guiding her through the crowd. Who knew the pirate would be chivalrous too?

And who knew a pickpocket wouldn’t notice getting pickpocketed?

[Masterlist]

[Chapter 2: Under Construction]

[selenacosmic]

Romance in the office.

Chapter 13- The day after.

So, decided to use this from now on. This beauty was made by @the12thnightproject btw. I hope you don’t mind me using this, of course I will always credit you as the one who made it.

I honestly feel so silly right now. It was the day after our date, I was supposed to be writing a report at this very moment, yet I keep glancing at my boss. He was busy working on his desk while I was sitting on my desk, not too far from his. I guess it’s official that I work in his office now, which is more practical and adds to our act as ‘lovers’. Talking about acting, yesterday doesn’t get out of my head. Precisely why I can’t stop glancing at him from time to time.

If I ignore the whole stalker situation that happened during our date yesterday, I believe it was a pretty memorable date. I always knew I was competitive, but yesterday I discovered to what extent I am. Not gonna lie, I fear how competitive I am…

Thinking about yesterday, of all the things that happened, I can only think about that kiss. It wasn’t forceful, but wasn’t gentle either. It felt like Shingen made his presence known in that kiss, wanting to know how I felt about him. Perhaps to confirm if he could be more forward with me, or out of curiosity… no matter how much I think about it, I can’t understand why he suddenly kissed me. Was it out of feelings? I doubt it. Out of pure attraction? Sounds like the most logical option.

Because of these thoughts, I kept waiting for him to say something since we came to the office this morning, trying to see if he would react or say something. You can’t just kiss someone and act like nothing happened, right…? Was he going to apologize? If he apologizes for kissing me, I am punching him…. Though i will need a footstool to do that.

It would be one thing if I pushed him away, but I didn’t… I liked that kiss. I—

“My Angel, are you alright? You seem a bit distracted, is the report ready?” Oh. I forgot, we are not really dating. Right now in this office we are boss and assistant, nothing more. Both the date and that kiss keeps confusing my mind.

“S-sorry, sir. The report is almost done.” I gave the report a look, it was definitely not almost done. If I focus well enough, I should be able to finish in a few hours. “I was just a bit tired, that’s all.”

“You can’t fool me with those pretty eyes looking away from me.” Why is it that, even when he is scolding me, he acts sweetly? He was smiling while putting on his glasses. Wait, he wears glasses?! Those glasses managed to add to his sexiness… wait. Don’t get distracted!

“I wasn’t trying to fool you, sir. But it’s true that the report might be, in fact, far from being almost finished.” Play it cool, Selena. You can’t let him know you were spacing out because of him.

“I beg to differ, your attention seems to be focused on me today. Though I am not complaining.” He leaned over his desk, eyes locked on me. That smile almost put me at ease. Almost.

Well, I was a fool for thinking I could fool him of all people.

“So you have noticed… was it really that obvious?” Now I felt embarrassed that I was caught staring at him.

“Clear as day, my Angel. Though it’s good that we started to talk about this.” Oh? Are we finally going to talk about the kiss? “You must be curious about the gifts that were sent to the orphanage.” The orphanage? Ah. Right.

I wasn’t thinking about that when looking at him, but it is true that I wanted to know about that. Did the children receive the gifts already? Was it enough for all of them?

“Did you already send the gifts to them?” Part of me wished I could have witnessed the children receiving the toys, see them smile for having toys of their own. Even though I don’t feel ready to have any children, I can’t help but have a soft spot for them.

“They did receive the gifts, Yuki made sure to deliver them for me. However, I do have a request that might interest you. I will be visiting the orphanage this afternoon, would you like to come with me?” That.. is quite the request.

Shingen did say he loved children, I wonder how he would act around them. This might be a good opportunity to see if the children liked the toys as well, there were plenty that we had to carry yesterday.

“Yes! I would love to visit the orphanage with you.” I was still disappointed that he didn’t talk about that kiss, but honestly? My mood improved a lot with the thought of seeing if those children liked the toys. It helped me focus more on the report so that I could get over it by afternoon.

————

By afternoon, I had managed to finish my report, luckily it didn’t take too much of my time as I had anticipated. I was impatiently waiting as he drove us to the orphanage, it wasn’t that far from the company, but I couldn’t wait a minute longer. The moment the car came to stop, I hurriedly got out.

“In a hurry, aren’t we?” He chuckled as he got out of the car after me, now I felt a bit embarrassed for not waiting for him.

“Sorry. It’s just that… what you did for these children is really sweet, I want to see how happy they are for these gifts.”

“No need to apologize, I could tell that you were excited to come here. I must say, it was a bit cute.” Cute…? That’s not a word I would use to describe myself, but oh well, shingen does seem to have odd ways to compliment others.

Now that I looked well at this building, it was a bit old. It definitely could use a repainting too, is the living condition poor for these children…?

“Come, let’s go inside.” I slowly nodded, still worried when looking at the old building.

He took my hand as he led me inside, it was nicer than the outside if I must say. Perhaps they only have the money to reform inside, that was still worrying. The reception was simple, with a bell a bit worn out. Shingen gave the bell a single ring, already waiting.

“Mr. Takeda! You are earlier than we expected, are you here to see them?” An old lady came to greet us, she seemed very sympathetic, like a caring grandma. At least that’s how I imagined grandmothers to be.

“It’s true that we are early, I just couldn’t wait to see them. Yuki said that they were really happy, I wanted to see that myself.” Looks like he was close with the children already, the grandma chuckled and nodded.

“They were very happy indeed.” She noticed me and smiled warmly. “Is this the young lady who helped with the gifts?”

“She is, a true angel I must say. She was very determined to get those prizes.” Ugh… I feel more embarrassed when he puts it that way.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, I am happy those toys were enough for all the children.” I smiled at the grandma, finally able to introduce myself.

“Oh, they were more than enough! You may call me Mrs. Yua, I have been looking after children in this place since I was still a young girl.” So, she might have been here when it was still new, I wonder how many children lived here under her care.

“So many years have passed, and you are still as lovely as ever, Mrs. Yua.” There goes the flatterer, he really knows how to use his words.

“Oh you, more young men should be like you. Be a dear and teach the children to be more like you.”

They both laughed at that, and I couldn’t help but giggle. This is such a warm atmosphere, you completely forget the poor state of this orphanage. As we continued to speak, I could hear what I assumed to be footsteps, many of them. Could it be..?

“Look! It’s Mr. Tall! He is here!” A group of young children hurried our way, surrounding Shingen. Mr. Tall…? That nickname is surprisingly accurate.

“You all seem to have grown taller since the last time I visited, have you all been eating what grandma gives you?” Shingen crouched down to try and be at the children’s level, patting their heads affectionately.

“Yes, grandmama said that we could get as tall as you if we eat vegetables!” A young boy excitedly announced that.

“That would be impossible, he is already taller than anyone else.” A young girl said that in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Don’t lose hope, I am sure you all will surpass me one day.” His voice was more gentle than usual, that easily warmed my heart. Seeing him talking with all those children brought a smile to my face.

“That’s right. And if you eat the vegetables, you will get to eat sweets! Speaking of, I believe there are cookies for you all in the oven. Wait here.” The grandma, or Mrs. Yua, left us to go to the kitchen.

“Uhm.. who is she?” A little girl pointed at me, which made all the children turn to face me.

“Ah, I almost forgot. Children, this is Selena. She was the one who helped me get all those toys for you.” Shingen took my hand to bring me closer, letting the children surround me as well.

“Hello, children. Did you all like the gifts?” I decided to crouch next to shingen, making myself more friendly around them.

“I loved them! How did you get so many of them?”

“Are you also going to come visit us?”

“Are you Mr. Tall’s girlfriend?”

Oh dear, there were so many questions towards me. As overwhelming as it was, I found them adorable for asking those things.

“I won all of those toys just for you, no one could win against me! If I can, I will always come here to bring you more toys. And about that last question…” it felt awkward to answer it, should I tell them the truth or say that we are dating as part of the act?

Before I could answer, I felt shingen put his arm around my shoulders and pull me close, smiling widely.

“She is my girlfriend, which is why she will always come visit with me.” All the children were impressed by that, their eyes glowing in excitement. Great, now I feel guilty for lying to them.

“Y-yes, we are dating. You know, he told me a lot about you all, which is why I had to come visit.” Not a lie, just a few things changed and worded in a different way.

That was enough to make them start asking questions about me, they were full of curiosity. It was actually fun to answer them all, most of their questions were very simple and more personal. Though one question caught me off guard.

“If you are dating Mr. Tall, does that make you Mrs. small?” One of the children asked, apparently serious and not just joking around. I could see Shingen chuckling from the corner of my eyes. He is finding this funny, huh?

“Don’t you mean Mrs. Tall?” A girl asked the little boy who made the question, crossing her arms.

“No, she is not tall at all when compared to him. So it should be Mrs. Small.” Ouch. Thanks kid. Despite having my ego hurt by that, I smiled at them.

“Well, if you want to call me that, I will be happy to be Mrs. Small.” It was a silly nickname (like Mr. Tall) but it was for the children.

After that was settled, I decided to play with the children with their brand new toys, teaching them how to play with some of them in case they didn’t know. Shingen participated, though he mostly observed and talked while we played.

————

I didn’t even realize when I feel asleep, I was pretty tired after playing all those games with the children. I looked around, feeling comfortable in that soft bed. It was surprisingly more comfortable than usual. My eyes were half opened half closed, but they opened fully when I saw the door to the bedroom closing. Only now did I notice… I am not in my room!

Continue on the next chapter in his pov.

[iviarellereads]

Nona the Ninth, Chapter 13

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

(Third House icon) In which we see an old... friend?

Crown stands, bows, taps her chest thrice with an open palm in the BOE way, and then untapes Pyrrha from her seat. Nona hears the bodyguard ask to leave, because the "package is late for work."(1) As Crown escorts Nona to the bathroom, Nona asks why Pash hates them so much.

Crown was so startled that her jaw relaxed. “How could you have known that was Our Lady of the Passion?”(2) “It’s … it’s bones,” said Nona, struggling to articulate. “Beneath her clothes. The way she moves her bones,”(3) and Camilla looked at her for the longest time.

Crown says Pash is the product of nepotism and bullshit, and gets defensive over her hair's natural manageability.

While Nona's in the bathroom, Cam asks to see "her". Crown says it's not a good day, but Cam insists she can help. Crown agrees as long as Pyrrha doesn't tag along. When Cam gives Nona a choice between coming for the visit or staying in a waiting room, Nona chooses the visit. She hates how she always falls for those choices. If Cam offers her cereal or eggs, she'll choose cereal, despite wanting to choose nothing.(4)

At any rate, as they go down the elevator, Cam and Crown discuss how the depth does or doesn't help, considering "the creature" isn't fully instantiated(5), or they'd know it. Shortly, Nona realizes they're visiting the Captain, cheerfully. When the lift stops, they go down some corridors, and Crown dismisses the guard on the room.

Nona hasn't seen the Captain since before Varun appeared. Pal banned Nona from seeing her altogether. She's laying on her back on the bed, an IV in her arm. Crown has them all use antibacterial gel, as Judith gets sick easily.(6) Judith herself looks very thin, and ill. Cam and Crown discuss her care.

Nona peeked around Camilla’s arm. The Captain’s black brows drew together, and her face took on a hideous expression: a flat tangle of features that scared Nona so badly that she wanted to go to the bathroom again, right until the Captain opened her mouth and droned, punctuated by huge wheezing lungfuls of air: “Dust of my dust—such similar star salt—what they did to you and what they wrung from you and what shape they made you fill—we see you still—we seek you still—we murdered—we who murder—you inadvertent tool—you misused green thing—come back to us—take vengeance for us—we saw you—we see you—I see you.”(7)

Judith starts thrashing, as if in a seizure. Pal does some healing, and Crown calls him out on existence. She knew when she called Cam "Millie", because Cam hates that name but Pal didn't react. She's known for a long time that Pal wasn't in the bones that Harrow expanded, despite Cam not saying anything. This was just confirmation. She knew, really, because Cam was no longer perpetually unhappy. They were stuck together a long time, so Crown knew something had changed.

Judith stirs, wakes, enough to do a bit more healing of her own. She's not quite mentally stable in time and space. Her mind seems to wander back and forth in time, and she only sometimes seems to understand where she is, though she always recognizes Crown.(8)

The Captain broke off and said, “You think you’re walking the tightrope with fast talking and your face … steeled myself to the talking long ago. But you’re slipping, Princess … can’t save you from that … Hect, my hands are too filthy to save you…” It was funny to think of anyone wanting to save Camilla. The Captain’s eyes restlessly passed to Nona. Sweat was beading on her temples. The Captain focused, and said hoarsely, “Ninth, where is the mercy of the Tomb? Where is your sword in the coffin? Who are your masters now, and who do you master? Where is my cavalier, Reverend Daughter? Where is yours?” Her voice rose. “Because I saw her in the waves—she was there in the grey water—I saw them all—they hurt me—where is my hunger? I eat and eat and eat without surcease, my green thing, my green-and-breathing thing…”

Pal does some magic to put Judith to sleep, and says his time's up. Cam comes to, and Nona tells her what occurred. Cam asks Crown if she'll blab, but Crown swears on her sister, she won't, it's not her secret to tell.

Cam suggests Crown come back with them, but Crown brushes off the idea. Cam says Crown isn't a good woman, but Crown says none of them are, except Nona, who takes this as high flattery. Crown hugs Cam, and then they set out for the transport home. Crown tells Cam to be careful around Pyrrha, there's much Cam doesn't know about her.

Nona hated anyone criticising Pyrrha and cast about for a change in topic. She said, “What was the Captain talking about before she fell asleep, and when we came into the room? What’s the water? What’s the hunger, and the green thing?” When Camilla and Crown looked at her, she realised she could not have said anything worse. Crown looked at her with open bewilderment, and Camilla looked at her with an expression that Nona hated instantly. She looked over at Nona with her big, borrowed grey eyes, so clean and clear—Nona always thought if soap could be grey her eyes would be grey like soap—and she was unsure. She was, Nona realised with a pang that made it all the way down her spine, frightened. “Nona,” Crown said slowly, “The Captain didn’t say anything when you came into the room. She only screamed.”(9)

=====

(1) What package? Or, perhaps, who could this "package" be? (2) Not a lot of direct quotes on the whole phrase, but Mary, mother of Jesus, is often referred to in flowery terms as Our Lady of [something], and at least one painting of her and baby Jesus is known as Our Lady of the Passion. In it, angels are holding the future tools of Jesus's torture, as he learns that he is destined to suffer greatly. Side note, "Pash" as the nickname, is also slang in some regions for making out, noun and verb. (3) Nona knows the language of the body, how each person carries themself. She can tell Cam from Pal when she's paying attention, without even seeing their eyes. Why not able to tell one person inside layers of armour and disguise, by the way they stand, walk, move, hold still. (4) A classic trick with kids. Offer choices, to give them a sense of control over their lives, but limit those choices to only things you can/want to offer. Cereal or eggs for breakfast? Mac and cheese or rice for lunch? Brush teeth before or after bath? Little choices can make a big difference to a person's confidence in their life as they grow up. (This trick also works for a lot of adult neurodivergent folks, who get overwhelmed by too many options.) (5) You may recognize the same roots as "instance" in this one, but it's not exactly in the usual usage. "Instantiated" basically, as you might grasp from context, means present, physical, real. (The etymology is interesting to look at, "instance" has quite a word-legacy.) (6) Still not fully recovered. Makes sense, I suppose, it's only been… a year and a half. Or perhaps it's Varun's influence that set her back. (7) There's a whole, whole lot of information in there. Do you see any of it, without my pointing at the specific words? Who is Judith speaking for, and who is she speaking to? (8) That's love for you. (9) And here... why did Nona understand the screams as words? Why didn't the others? What makes her different? (Do you know who she is yet?)

[jerzwriter]

A Louise ask since we are in the year of the 30th anniversary of her walking out

This is is for both E/K and Tobias/Casey worlds as I am genuinely curious if there is any difference.

1. Does Ethan ignore the day or remember what happens?

2. Canonically he has a lot of anger in him, and sadness, when Louise comes back, and I presumed hear her apology for what she did, does that help heal some of the anger.

3. Does Ethan embark on any other healing?

And a DTI bonus question

Which anniversary hurts more, the one when she originally walked out or the second time?

Hey Tash, thank you for the ask! I love this because I have not worked on much of an HC for Louise, and I need to.

This is so ironic because I just had this conversation with someone. In my family, everyone remembers awful days... days people died, days we got bad news and significant bad days. I don't. In fact, I dislike when I see their posts about it on social media. I really believe in remembering the good and not focusing on the bad. I can really see Ethan following the frame of thought, particularly about not focusing on the bad. I'm sure he doesn't even think of it on the date, and if you asked him, he'd tell you the month but not even remember the day.

2. Yes, absolutely. Ethan never got closure, and regardless of his decision about his mother and their future, seeing her again, and hearing her apology would help give that to him. Ethan, like most children, saw his mother in an idealized light, even though she was far from perfect. Seeing her now, and realizing how broken she is, helps him understand, REALLY understand, that it wasn't his fault, it wasn't Alan's fault, and, to a degree, it wasn't even Louise's fault.

3. For the first two questions, I would say it was the same in both E/K and T/C worlds. Here, I think there is a difference. In E/K world, he'd begin therapy and truly heal. Partially because Kaycee really pushes for it and partially because he realizes to have a truly healthy relationship with her, which he wants very much, he needs to heel. In the T/C world, Casey is his friend. She cares about him, and she encourages him. When he and Tobias mend fences, Tobias mentions it too, but Ethan's adamant he's fine. He's not totally wrong, he definitely needs more help, but he is doing better. In this world I think Ethan would go to counseling in time, on his own volition, but probably wouldn't stick with it too long.

DTI Ask:

I'll defer to my first question. I don't think he gives either of those anniversaries any thought. First off, I really don't think men are wired to focus on anniversaries. They tend to be less important to them. And I think his thoughts are, why do I even want to remember the date?

In DTI, when he had a conversation with Louise and told her goodbye, he had made his peace. His chapter with Louise was closed, and he got everything he needed to move forward. He isn't going to spend a lot of time thinking of her, he's going to focus on what he has.

Thanks for the ask, Tash!

[chuya-chuya-blog]

I read Empyreal Cabinet today. I like to try the new shonen series so that if it becomes a big deal, I can say I was there first🤣🤣🤣 The first time I tried a newly debuted manga with this clear intent was with Rugby Rumble, and I'm really really enjoying it.

And if I'm curious about a series I don't wanna have to spend a thousand chapters playing catch up. This was a big hurdle for me with MHA, but I overcame and really enjoyed it. It was also fun to experience the ending at the same time as the rest of the fanbase. Gushing about the big moments together in an online discourse is so fun!😊

I'm currently struggling with this hurdle with Dandadan and Black Butler, and I LOVE those manga. But it can be a lot to digest at once, even if I'm in a binging mood. I was a bit late to the party for Dandadan, even though I WAS reading it long before the anime was announced, so yay, I was one of the first!😌

I've been reading Kuroshitsuji on and off for over a decade and finally decided to buckle down and catch up on it this year, so I don't know what to make of that.😅

But Empyreal Cabinet was not for me. Before anything, I will say that the artwork was beautiful and a pleasure to look at. I'm an art lover, a visual person who needs clear art in a comic I'm reading, and when it's also beautiful and practical like it was in Empyreal Cabinet, that's usually enough to get me at least somewhat excited. But while the story was focused, it was incredibly boring. Too many technical terms and formation jargon for me to slog through for a story I'm still trying to see if I even care about. I was able to manage and get a clear understanding of the story, mainly because I wanted to give it a fair chance. (And I also kept saying to myself, come on, you can't get through ONE chapter of a new story? Is your attention span that low?)

I have made it through the first chapter, but was more than halfway finished before I felt even a speck of intrigue. That was on page 46 when they were talking about the high school boys playing a prank. I'm convinced an enemy in disguise dared those boys to commit a prank to let a monster loose. Based on the discussion at the end, I can already see that these monster attacks are probably intentional, and being covered up by the superiors in the organization (yeah, I don't remember the names of anything, I'm already bad with names, but in this manga, I just didn't care😮‍💨). I'm interested to know if I'm right but not interested enough to remember to keep coming back for it every week (like I do with Rugby Rumble, which I why I was even on the app today).

None of the characters interest me. I don't care about anyone's ambitions or motivations, I have no desire to learn anything about them or to see them in action. The main character had this (what I can assume was supposed to be) somewhat badass moment towards the end, but I felt no excitement about it, and didn't find myself rooting for him or any of the others. We learn that he doesn't just roll over and take things, and has a righteous streak and is willing to take accountability, but I just do not CARE. It's not like I DISLIKE any of the characters, they were all just too flat, monotone, and one dimensional for me to care. I'm not saying I need to know anything about their back stories or motivations, I can see they care about their job and want to protect the people, and that's honestly a fine and valid drive for me. I just don't care about them enough to see them do it.

The world building was good, no problems there. It really just felt like Jujutsu Kaisen and Kaiju no. 8 had a baby and the protagonist of Kagurabachi is walking around. But it's like all the necessary story elements are solid individually, but weren't able to create an engaging story together.

Shonen Jump seems to be doing this thing where they're going for more stoic and stone cold protagonists, probably since those characters tend to be popular as side characters. But when they do that, the whole series tends to drag. They're coming out with a lot of manga like this lately, and I can't get into any of them. I think Shueisha should put out a Shonen Jump Dark magazine for all their series like this, since they insist on putting them out.🤣 Anime as a whole used to be more serious and adult like in nature back in the 80s and 90s, anyway, what with things like Golgo 13 and City Hunter. Ninja Scroll is a certified hood classic and Akira is legendary. I feel like Shueisha may be trying to usher back in an era of cool mature works like this in Japan, especially since their birth rate crisis is leaving them with a much smaller fanbase of youth. Less kids mean fewer kids to buy Shonen Jump. At the end of the day, they have a magazine to sell.

It's not just the fantasy series either, Shiba Inu Rooms has a reserved protagonist, and I like her enough. Her dynamic with the dog is cute and sweet. Unfortunately, the story is a bit boring, and I find myself behind a few chapters currently. Sure enough, though, the artwork keeps me coming back for more. The story and characters do their part pleasantly, and the artwork pulled it over the hump enough for me to add it to my favorites.

The dude with the cat was honestly just stupid, and the cat seems out of place with the art style. It actually got on my nerves with how desperately it tried to make its flimsy premise interesting. A house cat also can't actually ease tense muscles with their kneading. They don't do it hard enough for that to even make sense. Just go to a massage therapist, and no, I don't care if he actually has a reason as to why he doesn't, because the whole series was just stupid. Him getting the girl to pet the cat was stupid, too, no self preserving woman would have gone into a guys house to pet a cat. That one was just utter nonsense. I usually don't critique so harshly, but for an author that thinks so little of women, I find no problem.

It's not like I only go for lighthearted series, Drunk Bullet has some fun characters and great art, but I still don't know if I wanna bother keeping up with that. I feel like it might be a banger later on, so I may try to catch up with the chapters while there are still so few of them. I watched Ron Kamonohashi before I started the manga, and while I enjoyed the show, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to catch up on 100+ chapters of detective work, although it may be because I've only read the chapters that were animated so far, so I already knew what was going to happen. The artwork is really nice, and I find myself using it for reference when I need help with natural backgrounds.

I know Shonen Jump wants to fill the hole left by MHA (and soon to be JJK, I've heard), so hopefully more people like Empyreal Cabinet than I did. It may have the potential to start a new big three. It certainly has a similar vibe to Kagurabachi, and that seems to be doing well.

As for me, I'm probably going to drop it. As a fellow mangaka, I like to give series their fair chance, so I'll probably try a few more chapters, but I can tell this one is really not for me. I do look forward to what comes along soon in the future, though. And I hope to be one of the first on the bandwagon if it takes off, too!