yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
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Tim Drake has a weird fucking function
The thing about Tim that I find unique is that his life became SO MUCH WORSE after joining the heroing thing. Everybody else had a mid-to-shit life before becoming a hero/living with Bruce and mostly everybody (except Jason who LITERALLY DIED) had their life improved by being a hero/being Bruce's kid (or at least it is typically portrayed as such.
Tim had the exact opposite trajectory. His life wasn't perfect before he became Robin, but like...multi-millionaire/billionaire (canon is unclear, but he's within Gotham's upper-strata) kid with both natural intelligence + charisma and a bright future ahead of him and parents who were emotionally neglectful but nothing really beyond that (which is also a form of trauma, but all of the info we have indicates that the Drakes were no Arthur Brown or David Cain) and he still had other people he could rely on outside of them. He went to boarding school, which could be something horrible OR something amazing depending on your own thoughts/experiences. I grew up having a commute where we'd drive past a really pretty and rich af boarding school that literally everybody in our area DREAMED of going to, so to me the idea of going to boarding school sounds incredible but mileage may vary. Tim seems like the type of kid who would thrive in that though. Based on what we know in canon atm, his pre-robin life was fucking amazing.
And then he starts being the sidekick and working towards becoming Robin. His parents immediately get kidnapped and poison themselves through drinking tainted water; his mom dies and his dad is in a coma. This is not the fault of Robin, but Tim himself muses about the idea that Robin and dead parents are linked: to become Robin completely, you must lose your parents. And with how fate/destiny/canon events can operate in comics universes, maybe he isn't that far off. Once his dad wakes up, their relationship becomes strained as the man grieves the loss of his wife and realizes that his son has been doing vigilantism as a hobby. It is unclear exactly how good of a parent Jack was before the incident, but the results of Tim's involvement with the Robin mantle has definitely made things worse between father and son. Jack will also die within quick succession of 2 of Tim's best friends, his girlfriend, and his other father. He will also effectively lose like 1/2 his loved ones in the fallout of all of that mess including: his older brother, his other friends (both civilian and superhero), and the stepmother with whom he shared what I would argue is his best parent-child relationship (Dana also may have died, but it's left unclear). He has stopped pursuing higher education (the moment he even applied for college he 'died', and it seems he hasn't made another attempt since) and if he wasn’t a major focus of the media before he sure is now. He tries to quit briefly (in fact he initially was planning on quitting once someone more suited came along) and cannot bring himself to do so. Even when he does manage to get away for a while, his superhero life impacts the pre-robin life he is trying to go back to. Leaving is an impossibility, this is all there is for him now. He also isn’t allowed to make mistakes anymore, not when lives hang in the balance. The one who enforces that impossible standard the most (besides Bruce depending on who's writing) is himself. He’s got TRAUMA now and people want to hurt him constantly. He is constantly questioning his own sanity and morality and place in the world. He almost dies like every month. Tim grows colder and less grounded, he is becoming both a better and a worse version of himself at the same time. He’s saving lives in the same few issues as he’s setting up a Saw movie plot for the man who killed his father. He is haunted by the ghosts of his past and the looming figure of his future. His life becomes SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE after he becomes Robin. Some of it is the fault of others, some is the fault of circumstance, and some of it is due to his own actions. But basically all of Tim's worst traumas and life-changing moments are either tied to or caused by Robin. Dick's parents would still be dead, Jason would still be living on the streets, Stephanie would still have Arthur Brown for a father and a lot of other things that deserve their own posts/IDK if they've been retconned, and Damian would still have been raised in the eco-cult where death is a constant. Those are life circumstances that occur without the involvement of Robin, the only one who even needs Bruce involved at all in their series of events is Damian. But Tim? All of what is considered his 'worst' moments occur after he assumes the role.
This idea is what I find the coolest and most fascinating about Tim as a character. Being a hero is usually portrayed as either an outright awesome thing or a righteous duty that one must fulfill or (maybe in a grimmer and/or more grounded story) a sacrifice to your interpersonal relationships/mental health that is made for the greater good. For Tim, being a superhero actively ruined his life (both because of the general circumstances surrounding being a kid vigilante and the choices he made as part of that role). It's never portrayed that way in canon because we need to come out of issues going 'wow being a superhero is so cool! I'm gonna buy the next issue!', but when you just look at Tim's life literally everything really bad that we know of occurred after he became Robin.
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zaps u zaps u zaps u
[id: two digital drawings of a rain world oc, the current. they're a black, scrawny slugcat with tall ears, several cyan-tipped antenna across their body, and a blocky cyan pattern on their tail. in the first drawing he is sitting down, holding a spear which he has set on the ground in front of him. they are leaning their weight heavily on it, their face partially hidden by their arm. they're peering over their shoulder, glaring.
in the second drawing, the current is on all fours, their back arched and their head lowered, their face angrily scrunched up. all of the cyan bits on his body, including his eyes, are glowing, and sparks of electricity dance on his antenna. end id]
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So, I've wanted to make a post like this for some time, but I only just got the motivation because of an ask I got recently. I want to give a piece of advice to everyone, in general, to keep in mind when using any social media platform--advice that I wish someone had given me way back when, that I feel is important to pass on:
Not every post you see is for you. Not every post is about you.
This is not meant to be a negative thing, or a put-down! It is not meant to dismiss anyone. It's really what it says on the tin: When you see a post cross your feed, and you disagree with the post or it upsets you because you disagree with the message it has, try and keep in mind that you may not be the target audience for the post. In particular, take this into account for advice and positivity posts--The OP doesn't have anything against you personally when they share words that are meant to be uplifting that you don't agree with. A post that says "Keep going! You can do it, even if you think you can't!" probably isn't meant to put down people who are in a position where they very literally cannot do it or think their way out of their situations. Like this post, it's more likely that the OP is sharing positivity or advice that they themselves would have liked to hear.
Even this post, the one I'm writing now, might not be for you or about you! If you disagree with my viewpoint, that's okay, and there's nothing wrong with that! But I, personally, am writing this post for people who might need to hear it--people like me, who are easily upset or hurt by things they see or hear in passing, whether on the internet or real life. I'm not writing it because I want to spark an argument, I promise.
Posts aren't always meant to spread outside the OP's original circle of followers and friends. But that's a hazard of posting to public social media websites--a joke originally meant to have an audience of 12 people close to you can suddenly explode, getting thousands and thousands of views and reposts and going completely out of the OP's control overnight! It's no one's fault; it's not done maliciously. Sometimes a post or joke just resonates with others. But maybe it doesn't resonate with you--that really is okay! Just try and remember, if it gets under your skin, that it isn't for you. And if it's not for you, it's okay to just ignore it and move on! It can definitely get annoying when it's something you keep seeing over and over from friends and acquaintances reposting it, and I'd never fault anyone for losing their temper over it--but sometimes, just taking a second to remind yourself that you weren't the audience for something can really help calm you down and help you feel better and move on with your day.
While this goes for advice/positivity posts, it also goes for opinion posts! And in this case, to be completely, perfectly clear: I mean harmless opinions. A ship they like that you don't; a tv show they enjoyed that you didn't; a character they really love that you absolutely cannot stand. The kind of opinion you disagree with so much that makes you feel absolutely steaming mad. (Again: This does NOT extend to these things when they go into a genuinely harmful category. No homophobia, no pedophilia, nothing like that. I am talking about harmless, mundane disagreements.)
Maybe you see a post talking positively about a manga that makes you feel ick. The OP more than likely didn't write that post with the hopes that it would reach you specifically just to make you upset! (And if they did, that's rude, and an entirely different can of worms that this post is not about! >_>;) But the post upsets you anyway, even if it wasn't MEANT to. It's understandable, it happens! But the thing is: You don't need to engage with that post if it makes you feel bad! If you have a post blocker, you can block the post or blacklist the tag; if you don't, you may just have to scroll past. It can be so, so, so tempting to try and get in a biting comment in the replies to snap at the OP and tell them, "No, you're wrong, your opinion makes me mad and I don't want to hear it!" Trust me. I know. I get it, because I've been there! But in the grand scheme of things, it's not worth it or healthy to burn yourself out over it. It wasn't for you, and it wasn't about you! And you're better off doing what you can to take care of yourself, and preserving your health and happiness where you can.
I feel like I'm writing this with sort of childish language, and it might feel like I'm talking down to others. But really, I think I'm just writing it in a way that a younger me would have understood and taken to heart if she'd seen it. I hope that, if you read this, you can see it that way too! There's a part of me that feels scared that this post in itself could explode with notes that will be very upset with me for my thoughts on this, whatever their reasons may be, but I wouldn't be making it if I weren't prepared for that possibility. If the message I intend to get out can reach even one person who it can help, then I think that's worth writing it for. Because, I want to reiterate it one more time, because it can be so easy to forget it and get yourself furious in a self-destructive way, sometimes you have to remember:
Not every post you see is for you! Not every post is about you!
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I love thinking about how if Blake went up to Yang right now and told her "I love you," I don't... think Yang would know how to react to it. Not in a silly, "oh what a gay disaster" way, but in a "Yang has abandonment issues and has never been loved in the deep, all-encompassing way Blake loves her, which she absolutely reciprocates, so would she even know how to accept that love for herself" kind of way.
Blake and Yang need to talk about Yang's abandonment issues and the way she values the people she loves over herself to her own detriment before their relationship can move forward and that's why I was so anti-reunion kiss and why I don't expect them to kiss before the last half or third of the volume. They can continue being stupidly cute together before then though, so I don't even mind.
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Ok but what if Owen was the first human that Scott came across and became friends with?
((I've only seen Owen's New Life series bare with me here))
Owen joins whatever rebellion thing Scott and the others have going on, not fully understanding the depth of the situation but wanting to help nonetheless. The gems gift him a gem weapon that he can use (not sure what just yet)
He is the first person to shatter a gem on the opposing side, not realizing what he did which leads to consequences (the Hermit gems so far just poofed the enemy)
((Also he and Pixel are "Humans that know about Gems" buddies))
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