#but damn i spent like 10 hours on this shit and it was for nothing

[citrus-simp]

A/N: So based off of this blurb here, I wanted to elaborate more on king Bakugou with his pregnant queen. (Idc if there has been a fic I’ve made about this I like Bakugou as a father and pregnant fics are fluffy and comfort)

ANYWAY-

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So after being nagged by advisors about having an heir Bakugou uh....took care of it

literally

Now you've missed 2 periods and you're more than sure you were pregnant. In addition to the constant tiredness, and morning sickness. Bakugou being the prideful king he was wanted to be the one to help you in the early months.

Holding your hair back, tucking you in bed, even making your food. Now he may be the king but the only person he would cook for is you himself and now your baby.

Once it was confirmed by the medic, Bakugou had to step out of the room for a moment while they spoke to you.

This was just an heir to the thrown this was his child. And he would be damned if he let them be treated only as an heir and not his pride and joy. The same thing went for you, he couldn't feel more pride knowing you were the mother of his child.

You thought he was protective before?? You haven't seen anything yet! it bumped up from a 10 to a 10000000.

He loved to watch you grow and sometimes he would stare at you in awe knowing what you and your body were capable of. This was your first child together so he was hoping all will go well

He would inspect the castle to make sure nothing was in your way to harm you.

"Katsuki you don't need the stairs taken away-"

"Oh yes I do, I'll go to hell before I let you go down any stairs" he answered back

"...katsuki its 3 steps"

"I don't care!"

He loved to wake up in the morning and watch as his stomach rose and fell. But it didn't fall completely flat. for the first few months there was a small bump, almost like bloating, but after about 3 months it started to round more. It only made Bakugou fall even harder for you

He would look at you and just wonder about it. The baby, its growth, who they'd look like who they'd act like, everything

Every now and then he'll wrap you in his arms and whisper a gentle thank you

"you both mean more than any gold I could ever have. I love you"

"awh katsuki" you'd say tearing up

While you were coming closer to the months of just bed rest he had the best midwives and doctors he could find in the village. He had them live in the castle at least until it was time for the baby to be born

He had already known women go through a great ordeal in life and childbirth was part of many. He couldn't bare your pain or take it away but he could help you. For once he had set his pride aside and asked to be taught all about childbirth and what he could do to help

he loves you....very much

"Teach me how this will all go down and what shit I have to do for her." he had his own unique way of asking for help. The doctor was in charge of scientific childbirth and the midwives told him how he can console and comfort you through labor.

he spent about 2 hours there

and he came out a new man with new knowledge. He wasn't the pregnant one and he was terrified. The labor was separate from actual birth and could go on for hours

birth wasn't fun either

and the months of recovery would not be easy either. In some ways, he felt regret for getting you pregnant and now he could only watch you through pain when the time came.

However, the midwives assured him that if he held your hand, encouraged you, and helped you in whatever way he needed, you would appreciate it even more.

While he snuggled you in bed he said "I learned some new information today. Just know that I'm grateful...for everything" he said cradling your bump

When the day finally came, he was there from the first light contraction to the very strongest. He would even see how your stomach contracted, but he knew the worst was yet to come

He had to admit it hurt him more knowing that you were in pain until this was over. Ignoring the pain in his hand from your squeezing. He wiped the sweat from your face, he held you while you let all your weight rest on him, he massaged any sore spots, he kissed your head to try and comfort you

"I know it hurts...but you're strong, you've got this" "that's it, it's almost over" "you're doing great, I'm right here" "good job, just one more push, you're so close"

After it was all done, a scream was finally heard, and the room fell silent.

It was a boy (:

The midwives cleaned him up while Bakugou kissed and congratulated you

"You did so good Y/N, I-I don't know how you pulled through all of that but you did amazing," he said kissing your forehead

The crying had died down while he was getting washed up making Bakugou look over, you squeezed his hand and said "Go see him" you urged him

he was a bit nervous to see him up close but his feet move without thought "your majesty, your son" said the midwife handing his baby over to him wrapped warmly in a blanket

"h-hey there...I'm your...your dad bud.." he was starstruck "He looked like him but he looked more like you. He even had his pout only being minutes old "let's go and see mommy yeah?"

"look at him babe....you did amazing," he said as teared up, handing you the small and delicate bundle. You couldn't fathom the amount of love you felt at that moment. He was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen in your life

"Hello, sweetheart...I'm your mommy" you sniffed as tears blurred your vision. Bakugou crawled into the bed with you and gently touched the hair on his head. His eyes open up to showcase his bright crimson eyes, just like his father

"Y/N..." he called for your attention "you are nothing short of a goddess. I won't lie to you I was scared through the entire process, but you pulled through so strongly I...just..thank you...thank you so much" he said kissing your forehead

[octuscle]

Full time barista here I’ve always been envious of the men on stage especially the heavy weights. Don’t want to over work the chronivac but help me become a muscle bull as big as jean pierre fux.

Mate, I understand you only too well…. There are few things hotter than the real heavy beefcakes. I've tried it long enough myself… But I didn't make it either. Jean Pierre is a pretty good role model… But I have an idea…

Friday morning. It's 06:00, you have to hurry, in one hour you have to prepare the first coffee. You don't have time for much more than a few situps and pushups. In the bathroom you have to hurry. You need longer and longer to conceal your receding hairline. You are now 40 years old, slowly you just notice that you are getting older. If you go out tonight to party, it will take you almost the whole Saturday to recover. The cosmetic industry has nothing effective to offer against the wrinkles in the corners of your eyes. And even if you don't need to be ashamed of your body: You won't gain much more muscle in your lifetime.

Shit, at 07:00 o'clock people are already queuing up. You hate it when you can't open the store in peace. But as it looks, it will be 10:00 o'clock, until you have the first moment of rest. In fact, it's even 10:30 when your colleague thinks you can take a break. If you need it, he adds with a wink. You look fantastic today! You take a mineral water and sit down in the warehouse. In fact, you feel pretty damn good right now. You drink the water in one go. You don't have much time for a break. And you have to piss again before the lunch business starts. Your lower jaw drops as you wash your hands. Fuck, what happened to you. There are no more receding hairlines or laugh lines. You look ten years younger than when you got up today. The only difference is that you look as if you'd spent the last ten years doing little else but lifting iron. Your T-shirt is almost blown up by your biceps and pecs. And your jeans look like they're painted on your monstrous legs. How could you not notice that? As you tie the apron back on your way back to the counter, you wonder why you were just amazed. Since your 20th birthday, you've spent every spare minute at the gym, investing every penny you earn in protein and supplements. Hell, if you didn't look the way you do, you would have wasted a hell of a lot of time and money.

The calm in your coffee bar begins to subside again. The lunch business is starting up. There's a beefcake in your line that makes you jealous. Yo, bro! he greets you. It's nice to see that there are real men working here, too. What you can recommend to him. You suggest the protein bomb. A scramble of 10 eggs with 400 grams of chicken breast. He grins and nods. And a liter of still mineral water. The bro shares your taste. While you type everything into the register, he asks you if you're all-natural. Of course you are. With the money for the meal, he slides you a card. In case you want to think about it.

It is 17:00 o'clock, when you tie off your apron. Fuck' according to your watch you have walked 12,000 steps today on the few square meters behind the counter. But it also looks like it's been a pretty good day so far. You're 20 now, and the idea of opening your own café with healthy and, above all, protein-rich food came to you when you were 16. That's when you started getting into high performance bodybuilding. And a place like this was missing at that time. And then you built this place with your mentor and trainer as a straw man. But you can't stand behind the counter for more than ten hours. Even if you are the best advertisement for your products, you have to work out at least four hours every day. Otherwise you don't stand a chance on the big stage.

You might not be one of the big ones yet… But you are on a really good way to get there. You met Jean Pierre Fux once at a fitness fair in Germany. A great role model for you. And he said that at your age he would have been a linnet compared to you. The prerequisites for a brilliant career are there. Enjoy it and make the best of it!

This and other hot pics @anton227ludwig

[theheathenousfish]

A continuation of professor andreil. I will not apologize.

It’s the weekend. Casey and 3 of his classmates are at a restaurant celebrating the end of midterms ( which they did pretty well on, if they do say so themselves)

They were looking at the menus when Owen noticed their professor walk through the door with a red haired woman on his arm

“Hey, is that professor minyard?” Owen asked the table “and is that his wife? Didn’t he kiss professor Josten like, last month?”

Casey swirled around to look at the couple, who were walking towards the table the dean and his wife are sitting at.

“ about damn time you bring her. Jesus kid you’ve been married 10 years” the dean, wymack, grumbles.

“Oh my god!” AJ gasps “he wasn’t lying when he said prof josten wasn’t his boyfriend ! He’s the side piece!”

A few minutes later professors day, Boyd-wilds , walker-Reynolds, and Josten walk in and to the table.

“ hey Matt, how are the kids?” Prof josten asks

“ Neil! My man! Teenagers are so hard. Cody and Marlo have discovered my college photos and are giving me shit for how my hair looked”

Just then, a second minyard enters and sits down? It’s Avery’s turn to say something “I’m sorry, what? He has a twin?” Therefore she does.

Professor day scowls and says “ Neil your monster is here.”

“Drew! I thought you couldn’t make it”

“ sit down, junkie.I’m here.” Prof minyard mutters. In a louder tone asks “ why are we here day?”

“Why do you have something you were going to do?”

“ I want to go home and do nothing.”

Prof josten chokes on his water.

“ kevin” Mr wymack says “ tell them or I will.” Prof day huffs “ wymack is my father. I found out last year and I told him a week ago.”

“ this is why I’m here? Kevin, I could be asleep right now. I just worked a 24 hour shift.” Possible prof minyard complains

“Aaron! Be nice.” The red haired woman scolds

“ ok, so, that’s not our minyard.” Casey confirms

“Our minyard?” Aj asks

“Yes”

After about an hour of the teacher meeting talking about stuff, they start to, one by one, venture back home. All that’s left is the real professor minyard, prof josten, and the dean and his wife( who’s name is apparently abby)

“So, um, wymack, we have news. Andrew and I are married. We thought you should know first.” Prof josten states

“Oh! Congratulations boys! When did this happen?” Abby gushes

“5 years ago.” Prof minyard says flatly

“Christ, you two will be death of me. 5 years? Seriously?” Wymack sounds exasperated

Once the teachers leave the students just look at each other stunned.

“So he’s not the side piece, he’s the main piece.” Aj says so solemnly everyone else thinks she’s trying to be funny. She’s not.

Andrew is running late for work. Like, stupidly late.

When they got home, Neil jumped him and they’d spent most of the night having mind blowing sex, then when he woke up it was 10am and sir jumped onto the bed landing directly on his dick. Neil just laughed at that.

His coffee had grounds in it.

He grabbed Neil’s lunch on the way out.

And he’d forgotten to put his ring on.

He was having a bad day.

Thankfully most of his class was also late. “ today we will be visiting the butcher case. The key points are on the board, write them down. Neil josten will be joining us”

Just then Neil walks in, looking so fucking gorgeous. How dare he.

“ hey Drew. I brought YOUR lunch and some coffee. Also your ring is in my pocket if you want it.” Neil says. He’s so sweet, he’s beautiful, and kind, and Andrew loves him.

Andrew pulls Neil in by his pocket and gets his ring out. He puts it on, obviously.

“Care to introduce yourself junkie?” Andrew drawls

“Sure. Hello, my name is Neil josten, I’m here to consult on the butcher case. Any questions?”

A student raises his hand “are you two married?”

“That’s none of your concern,” Neil says coldly

“Why are you consulting on this case?” another student asks

“Because this case is personal, and also because Andrew asked.”

“ sit down rabbit.” Andrew murmurs “We will start with Nathan wesninski’s connection to the yakuza,specifically the moriyamas.

Neil and Andrew switch places when it’s stated that a college student was kidnapped and tortured

“ in fall of 2006 i was kidnapped and tortured by my fathers people. I was brought to my childhood home where my father was going to question and kill me. My uncle on my mother’s side came to my aid, and shot my father. By then I had sustained serious injuries to my face, arms and hands. I was brought to a hospital with two FBI agents in my room. I was demanding to see my teammates. In spring of that year my father killed my mother, she died on a beach in California. Her body was recovered by the FBI for evidence.” Neil recounted

“Junkie” Andrew asked softly

“ I’m fine.”

“I want a 20 page report on my desk by Friday.”Andrew told his students

Neil didn’t have class today, Andrew knew.

“Drew. I need to go. I want to go home. I need you.” Neil whispers

“I know ,love, I know. We will.” Andrew reassures him

They got home hours ago, and Neil immediately went to their bed and beckoned Andrew to come lay down with him.

Andrew was happy. He was so fucking happy.

Neil was kissing down Andrew’s neck as he thought. Andrew gave a shiver of pleasure when Neil sucked a mark just under his ear. He was going to have to cover that up tomorrow.

Andrew was home

[ilovefakemilitarymen]

Deal with the Devil

Professor!John Price x Student!Reader (Part 1)

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A/N: Originally posted this to AO3 and then decided to start a Tumblr account for some COD x readers and headcanons. So, if any body is interested, my requests will be open for the next couple of weeks till I hit about 10-15 or maybe more if this gets a lot of love. I’ll be posting a list of who I’ll write for later today. Enjoy!

Word Count: ~3.4k

CW: Inappropriate Teacher/Student relationship///This part is pretty tame, it’s the later parts you have to worry about but each will have their own warnings attached.

The truth was as simple as this: You were failing History.

Terribly at that, and it would take an act from whichever god would take pity on you to get your grade above the F you were currently sporting on your most recent report card. You were determined to get at least a C by the time the next report card came around, just so you wouldn’t have to take the same damn class for another semester.

The second truth was not as simple: Your teacher was as hot as the sun in the Nevada desert during the summer solstice.

He was a man that played by the rules, teaching tough love in the form of not giving a shit when you didn’t turn a paper in on time. His rules were strict, and so was his grading system. Professor Price was going to be the death of your college career. That didn’t keep you from eyeing the way he moved during the lecture, and it didn’t help that he was the type to make eye contact with each of his students to make sure they were paying attention, forcing you to keep your eyes off of his body and on his face for the entire hour that he spent lecturing the class on the different wars that had plagued the earth.

Despite failing, you had to admit his class was one you had looked forward to. However, it's not because you had a love for history, it’s to ogle the man that taught you. You should probably feel bad, but you didn’t. You couldn’t focus when he wore the furthest thing from educational wear, usually sporting a simple tee that fit him a little bit too well and either a pair of dress pants or coming in what looked like uniform pants that you could only guess were from his earlier days in the military. He had never talked about his days before becoming a professor, but you could about guess it was something that kept him fit by the way his muscles threatened to shred his thin shirt.

However, none of this could explain why you were now leaning over his desk, trying to bribe him into taking the paper you had tried to turn in late.

Price leans back in his chair in the front of the class, hitting his pen against his hand and taking in every word you had whispered to him, trying to keep your voice down as much as possible.

“Isn’t there any way you can take the paper?” Your hands press heavily against the edge of his desk. There aren't many times that you had come up to him instead of it being the other way around. He was continuously trying to get you to turn your work in on time, but lo and behold, it seems that his prodding had gone in one ear and out the other.

“No,” He speaks sternly, and you can’t help the way your shoulders drop at his words.

“But-” You begin again, but he cuts you off before you can even say anything else.

“You should have turned it in,” He shrugs, his more nonchalant attitude coming out in his words. You knew he didn’t give a shit if you failed but you wished he would at least take some pity on you. “I told you multiple times when it was due, and you ignored it.” His eyes shone with mischief, and you knew he was a man that had seen a lot worse than a student practically on her knees, begging for a second chance.

“I promise it won’t happen again, sir” You tacked on the last bit, trying to play into the small power trip he has, but it does nothing. “Just give me one more chance.”

“And I’m supposed to trust that?” His words aren’t harsh when they come out of his mouth, just stern, “You had multiple chances to turn that paper in on time, so your irresponsibility doesn’t seem like it’s my problem.” He leans back up on his desk as he speaks, nodding towards the small folder in your hand.

You had worked all night trying to get this paper written, staying up damn near the sunrise just to get it to him on time, only to realize the due date was yesterday when you had moved to turn it in.

Your words come out with not much thought from you, but the smirk on his face spurs you on, “Just this once, please. I’ll do anything, sir.”

You hadn’t realized how much trouble your words would get you into just yet.

Price leans back in his chair again, continuing to fiddle with his pen as he gives you a small chuckle. It’s barely there but you hear it and his words come shortly after, “Anything?” You give him a small nod at his words, “You know what they say about making deals with the devil?”

“No…” You breathe out slightly at his words and they imply something, but you’re not quite sure. You can’t help but look down at his arms. There’s no way he’s implying what you think he’s implying, but you don’t stop your mind from wandering.

“Then I guess we don’t have a deal,” He leans back up moving to begin grading papers again, “You’ll just have to accept the grade you earned.” He doesn’t give you another look, instead his pen moves against the paper as he tries his best to ignore your presence.

“Wait- What do they say, about making deals with the devil?” You continue to lean on his desk, voice low. “I’d sell my soul for a good grade in this class, sir. I’m begging.”

“You’d sell your soul, would you?” His face turns towards you, a small smirk playing at his lips, and you have to admit he looks god-damn attractive like that, about a foot or so between the two of you. You can only nod, eyes glancing down at his hands once again.

You don’t care if he’s just some creep wanting you to suck him off in the back closet once for him to take your late paper, and you also don’t admit to yourself that you would probably do it if he offered, good grade or not. He’s the hottest thing you’ve laid your eyes on in years and a heat pools in your abdomen at the thought of it.

“I don’t know about your soul, but we might be able to make another deal.” His words are low as he speaks, his face turning back to his papers, and his pen moves, marking little details in the margin of the paper.

“Anything, I’d do anything…” Your words trail off, waiting to hear whatever he has to say.

He nods, taking in your words before he moves to put his hands under his chin. There’s a devious smile under his mutton chops, and when he finally speaks, it’s not what you really expected him to say. “I want you to be my personal errand girl for the rest of the semester.” He takes in your reaction, eyes on your face for a reaction, “That means you’ll grade papers for me, fetch me coffee, and do whatever else I need you to do.” Your shoulders slump slightly, and you can’t believe you had fully expected him to tell you he’d be bending you over his desk for a passing grade. Your eyes don’t catch the way his lips had darted out to wet his lips at the words, ‘anything else’. “And in return, I’ll give you a passing grade, but if you fail to do so, I won’t hesitate to fail you.”

“Is that all? I can manage that.” You say confidently. You can be his personal lap dog for the rest of the semester. It really didn’t seem all that bad.

“Oh, I don’t think you understand the full extent of what I’m asking,” You watch his face as he speaks, “But if you’re willing, then we have a deal.” He raises his hand to you, intending to shake on the agreement.

“What?” You say a little bit snarky, “I get you coffee when you ask for it, and you say jump and I ask how high?” You reach your hand out, placing your palm in his. The calluses against his palm scratch against your soft one.

“Something like that,” He speaks as he shakes your hand, and you don’t realize that one handshake will be your unraveling. “We’ll discuss the details after class. For now, get back to your seat and let me finish grading these papers.”

“Of course,” You nod eagerly, placing the folder on his desk before turning to make your way back to your own seat, and he turns back down, moving through the papers with grace, marking along the pages at the right and wrong information.

Professor Price has always been a little bit of a wildcard, but you can’t help but let out a sigh of relief when you finally get back to your seat. You’re not sure what you had actually got yourself into, but you swear to yourself not to screw up the chance he’s given you. The work in front of you is completed rather quickly, which is lucky considering you can’t focus through class and have to rely solely on the reading. You can’t help it that the sheer circumference of the man's arms get more attention from you than the words he speaks. It would be nice if your slight infatuation with him would garner you some way to get information from his words instead of turning your brain into a pile of mush.

Your gaze moves up to him, and you catch his eyes on you. He gives you a small smirk, and you can tell he’s quite pleased to have you agree to his little deal, and you can’t help but feel slightly flustered from the unwarranted attention. He’s probably just excited to get some of his workload off of him.

Your eyes stay turned to him, even after he looks away, and you know you shouldn’t stare, but you can’t really help yourself. Your work is finished in front of you, so taking a break from the reading to watch him grade his papers shouldn’t hurt.

His arms are lean, and his muscles seem to flex each time he raises his arm to flick his pen against one of the papers. Your mind flows back into wondering just what it was he had done before deciding to become a professor. Despite it being in the past, he definitely continues to work out since there’s no way he’s keeping a physique like that just lounging around the house all day.

“Something on your mind?” His voice comes out, tearing you out of your thoughts and you look up, realizing he had caught your eyes on him.

You decide to say fuck it, and shoot, asking him the question you had wondered for the last couple of weeks, “What did you do before you were a professor, sir?” Your question garners a few looks from the other students in class, their eyes turning to him, probably wondering the same thing.

“Well,” He lays his pen down before he speaks, “I’ve had quite the career,” His voice carries through the classroom, looking at you before turning his gaze to the other students. “I served in the military for many years, fought in several wars, but,” His eyes are on you again, “Now I’m here teaching the next generation.”

You nod to him, turning your attention to the textbook in front of you but the voice of another student pries you away from it, “Explains the drill sergeant attitude.” It’s followed by a small laugh. Price just shrugs, not really disagreeing with him.

Price finally dismisses the class moments later, slightly early, but you do your best to lag behind, gathering your things in your bag, and throwing it over your shoulder as the last student filters out. You move to walk to his desk, knowing he’d want to talk to you about your little ‘agreement’. Price is also packing up his things, stuffing papers into a folder before he pushes it into what looks like a laptop bag.

His eyes pull towards yours, and you watch as he lays a heavy hand down on his desk, “First things first, I expect you to be at my beck and call whenever I need you,” He pulls the bag over his shoulder as he speaks.

“Yes sir,” You speak, nodding at him. Your hands play with each other nervously.

“If I ask you to fetch me coffee, you do so. If I need you to grade papers for me, you do so.” He speaks and you continue to nod to him.

He continues, “Good, secondly, I’ll need you to keep my schedule organized,” He hands you a small planner, and you come to realize this is going to be a little more time-consuming than you had expected. “You’ll be responsible for making sure I’m on time, whether it’s a class, a meeting, or any other obligations.” He studies you as he speaks, “Lastly, I expect you to be discreet about our agreement. I don’t do this for any other student, so no one needs to know about this. If anyone asks, you’re simply helping me with some extra work. If it gets out, I won’t think twice about failing you.” He watches you as you nod to his requests, but you can’t help the itch at the back of your brain. “Is that clear?”

“Isn’t that what I’m doing?” You speak, eyes resting on his, “Helping you with extra work?”

“Yes, that is one way to put it.” He smirks slightly, “And you’re not to question my authority or disobey my orders.” He leaves the air open for a moment, gauging your reaction to his words, “Understood?”

The way he speaks, just in his simple tone, makes a heat pool between your legs, but you have to pull yourself out of your thoughts. He doesn’t mean anything by it, it’s his military nature. You’re sure he had a high rank, his commanding presence sure to make anybody weak in the knees.

“Yes sir,” I speak, my words a lot lower than I had meant. It feels like a big secret, something shared with you and you alone. You can’t help that it makes you excited.

“Is there anything else you’d like to clear up,” He speaks before he adds, “You seem a little distracted.” His words are low, but you have to push the feeling that rises in you down. He’s your professor, he’s just trying to make sure you understand what he’s saying.

“This just feels a little more secretive than I was expecting.” Your words tumble out of their own accord.

“Our agreement is a little less...conventional than most,” He gives you a small smile, innocent in nature, but you can’t help but get excited. It is something that only you and he share. “I don’t offer extra credit for anyone else, and we wouldn’t want to make any other student jealous, would we?” You shake your head at his question. “Plus, I think you’re up for the challenge, aren’t you?”

You can feel your heart rate pick up, “Yes sir.”

“Now, I expect you to keep me on schedule,” He taps on the planner resting in your hands, and you nod at him eagerly. “And if you do a good job, I’ll reward you with some extra credit.”

You nod to him again, hoping you don’t come off as too excited, “I’ll do my best, sir.”

“I’m sure you will,” He moves around the desk, “You can go ahead and head out for today, I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”

You adjust the bag on your shoulder, moving to put his planner in as you head out of the classroom. You can feel his eyes on you as you leave, and it leaves you with a feeling of excitement and anticipation. You had never expected him to give in and offer you extra credit. It’s definitely going to be a lot of hard work on your part but you’re practically buzzing at the idea of being able to do these things for him in exchange for a better grade. You’re willing to do what it takes to get through this in one piece, and hopefully not have to take another history class in the next semester.

------

That night, you finally open up his planner, eyes roaming over all the things he does in his day. You look across the margins where he has small dates and times in place, and various meetings are strewn across the pages. To put it simply, the entire planner is a damn mess. No wonder he had asked you to keep up with it. Just looking at it would give any normal human a headache.

You scoff, pulling out your own planner that admittedly doesn’t get much use. At least you can use the thing you had spent an ungodly amount of money on during this agreement. You look through the pages of his planner, transferring whatever information you could get into a better format into your own planner.

Along one of the pages, you find what seems to be his personal phone number. You quickly put it into your phone, making a mental note to give him a call in the morning. He probably already knows about the class, but you don’t want to disappoint, so you decide to tell him every time he has something to do, including the regularly scheduled things that are probably muscle memory to him at this point.

There’s a meeting about an hour after his first class, and then another evening class around 3. It shouldn’t be too hard to just let him know after class that he has a meeting to attend. You close the planners, putting the both of them into your bag before cutting the small desk lamp off and heading to bed.

The alarm blares loudly the next morning, pulling you out of your sleep, and within moments, you shoot up, remembering your deal with Professor Price. Your hand reaches around for your phone, finding it half stuck under some pillows. You cut the alarm off before moving to your contacts, taking a deep breath, finding his name, and pressing call.

Your nerves are on edge from the simple task of waking him up. The entire thing is now reeling in your head. What if he hadn’t wanted you to call him?

His voice is groggy when he finally picks up the phone, laced with sleep and it sends a jolt directly between your legs, “Hello?” He sounds slightly confused.

You cut to the chase fairly quickly, “It’s (y/n), found your number in your planner and thought you might want to know you have a class in an hour.” You hold your breath afterward, hoping that this is exactly what he had wanted from you.

“Right, right.” His voice comes heavy through the receiver, and you barely hear him mumble something that sounds a lot like ‘smart girl’ before he’s back to speaking to you again, “Thank you, I’ll be there on time.” He huffs a small chuckle now, and it sets your skin ablaze from the roughness of his early morning voice, “You’re proving to be quite useful already.”

It’s ridiculous what his small praise does to you, and you know that if he was there with you, you would have to keep yourself from falling to pieces, but he’s not, and you’re alone in your small solo dorm. You have free reign to lay your head back on the pillow and bask in his voice.

“Glad to be of service, sir.” Your voice comes out lower than you had wanted, but fuck, you can’t find it in yourself to care. You follow it with a light laugh.

“You’re going to be a very valuable asset to me,” You keen at the praise, and he continues to speak. “I’ll see you in class.” He finishes and the phone line goes dead. You let it rest against your chest and curse yourself.

This is gonna be a hell of a lot harder if he keeps praising you like that.

[the-healthy-human-mind]

To Hell and Back

Next: Risen from the Ashes

CWs: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, torture, death, mentioned drugging, burns, explosion, blood, gore, canon typical violence, cursing.

Elaine never was one to brag, her mother had raised her better than that. But damn if she didn’t feel proud seeing her moms stand next to a Commander for a private military contractor. Chief Kate Laswell and Lieutenant Colonel Rachel Salvador-Laswell, the first few of their kind. Commander Phillip Graves walks in with confidence, effortlessly silencing the rowdy Shadows. Elaine straightens her spine, standing elbow to elbow with her fellow Navy SEALs. 

“You’ll be split up into 4 groups, Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, and Delta, with 15 members per group. We have 30 Shadows, 20 Soldiers, and 10 SEALs. You already have been assigned your groups. We leave at 0024 hours. Be there.”

The room erupts in hollers, people hyping each other up for the mission ahead; putting an end to a human trafficking ring in New Zealand. Laney makes eye contact with her Mom, Rachel, who gives her a nod of encouragement. She smiles, nodding back. 

“Ya ready for this, Cat? Gonna show these Shadows how SEALs do things?”

Murray drapes his arm across her shoulders, while Sharpe comes up on her other side, using her head as an armrest.

“Nah, man, more like how brutal a kitty cat is.”

“Alright both of you shut the hell up!”

No one had expected the mission to go tits up. For there to be a land mine placed under their path, for the shadows to turn on them. There was a split second of silence before shit hit the fan. Elaine lets out a yelp when a piece of shrapnel wedges itself in her left leg, the fabric of her camo pants having been burned off during the explosion. She can hear the screams of her fellow SEALs and soldiers, the smell of blood and death thick in the air.

She feels a sharp stab in the side of her neck, turning her head only to be met with the face of a Shadow. She reaches for her gun in the holster attached to her thigh, but the movement tears the burned skin of her back apart. Elaine’s lungs burn from the scream she lets out, head lolling back. She looks in horror as Murray’s lifeless body drops to the ground with a horrific thud. She barely registers hearing mummering as her head begins to spin, black dots covering her vision until there is nothing but darkness.

“Anything?”

Kate looks up from her computer, eyes meeting those of her wife. “No, no contact has been made.”

Rachel doesn’t speak, but Kate doesn’t need to hear the words she’s thinking. 

“If the mission is compromised, we’ll get her out of there as soon as possible. I promise.”

“What if she’s already dead? What do we do then?” 

The silence between the women is cut short when Kate’s radio crackles with life. 

“-lo? Watcher 1, do you cop-”

“This is Watcher 1, how copy.”

“Missions off, it was a trap. Can’t find Delta Team, they were hit by the explosive.”

“Copy that, head to exfil.”

Kate looks grimly at Rachel, who turns and walks out of the room. Elaine was leading Team Delta. She was gone. 

The water was always Elaine’s favorite thing. The water was peaceful, there were no limits to its potential. It was timeless. Her first moments in this world were spent underwater, before she was ripped from her safe haven. Elaine sputters, coughing up the water that had filled her lungs. The man steps back from her, smiling darkly down at her. She rubs harshly against the rope holding her limbs to the wooden chair, looking around at her surroundings, finding only cement walls and a single light bulb above her head. 

“Good to see you’re awake.”

Elaine stares at the man, who she immediately recognizes as the target of this mission. 

“Makarov.”

She doesn’t flinch when the metal door opens, when boots stomp against the concrete, not even when her head is ripped up by her hair. Makarov’s men stare back at her, one of them sneering at her sorry state. Her blond hair was stained red from her blood and matted to her skull, her right eye swollen shut, and god knows what was going on with her burns.  

“Where is your base?”

Elaine barks out a laugh, “you really are stupid aren't you?”

Blood splatters on the concrete when the other Russian backhands her. 

“Location, now.”

“Go. To. Hell.”

She hears the sizzling of her flesh before the pain shoots through her nervous system. And then, nothing.

Water was Elaine’s comfort, she used to feel weightless, floating through the waves, but now, now she was drowning.

[rhymey-workshop]

Feel free to skip. TW: I'm joining the military.

Growing up is really hard, and I don't think we realize that until we're on the verge of a big change, standing on the border between two parts of your life, balancing on a precipice before you take the swan dive known to many as change.

I'm packing my things. My dad finally brought home boxes and storage tubs and I'm finally packing my things, and that makes the passage of time so much more real.

I'm packing my things. My mom opened the door to tell me to watch my sleeping brother, and said nothing about the fact my room is a mess, or that I was just staring blankly at the cardboard box I just taped the bottom of. That box is ready for my craft books and paint stuff, my origami paper, my reading stand, my books on how to make stuff like children's books and animation. She made no mention of it all, just made that same pinched expression she has for weeks and then schooled her expression into something more neutral as she nodded towards the bedroom where my brother is and after a moment I got up and stumbled in, sitting at the foot of the bed to type out some kind of vent on Tumblr.

I'm packing my things, and I'm stuck between wanting to cry and finding myself unable to cry. I'm leaving home. I've been dreaming of getting out of here off and on since I was 13. At times I had a countdown of years, months, weeks, days that I had to stay, that I had to wait for the day I could finally leave. It made being angry or sad or any other complicated emotion easier. It made hardship easier to cope with. It made it easier to get through the hard times because I knew I could leave and nothing could stop me.

I'm packing my things, slowly, piece by piece, and I'm starting to understand the weight of what my dad said, when he said I was the first person on either side of my family in generations to not run away from home before turning 18. My mom left home at 17, my dad spent more days out of the house than in it as a teenager and left the god damn country. My bio paternal family has these issues too. My maternal family is full of people that ran off, that stayed away from home and didn't look back. My mom only speaks to one sister, and can't speak to her brother as long as their mother is alive. I didn't leave. I finished high school, I got my diploma, I took my time and I didn't leave before I was a legal adult.

I'm packing my things to leave home, and it's hard. It's scary. I've never been away from home for very long, and here I am, getting ready to do something more than just "Move out".

I'm packing my things, putting my life into boxes, sorting what's going to stay, waiting for me to return, what's getting tossed, what's going to get donated or given away. I keep finding things and remembering shit related to them. I keep finding things and remembering who gave them to me. I keep finding things and remembering which parent smiled when I got it.

I'm packing my things, and in a way I'm also processing a kind of grief I didn't know existed.

I'm leaving home for something I thought through for 8 months, and I'm coming up on the one year anniversary since I made my decision. It's been just under two since I signed the dotted line, swore in, and came home to congratulations and a sureness that I'm doing the right thing for me.

In 5 days, I'm going to my last meeting. Getting a send off from a group of people doing the same thing. A couple of them doing the EXACT same thing.

In 9 days, I'll spend the last full 24 hours I've got with my family, eating a fruit tart and playing putt putt. I'll say good night and that'll be the last time I see them for months at the very least.

In 10 days, I'm hiding my key on the porch and walking out the front door while everyone is asleep. They'll wake up and I'll be hundreds of miles away from them. In 10 days, I'm hopping in a big unmarked government van (and this will never not be funny to me) with like 5 other people and we're all doing the same thing. We're going somewhere and we have no idea what is really waiting for us.

In 11 days, I'm not in civilian limbo anymore. As it stands I am subject to the UCMJ but I'm not a sailor yet. In 11 days, I'm a recruit, and that's fucking dizzying to think about.

I'm getting ready to start a new part of my life and it's going to be exciting and new and I'll make friends and I'll go a couple places and I'll have stories to tell my brother and family. I think I'll be better, when all is said and done.

But right now, I'm packing my things into boxes and tubs, and right now, I want to cry.

[hornytome]

On a scale of one to one hundred, how well did it align with your writing?

I mean… pretty damn closely. 7/10. It was actually better than all of my fantasies lol.

We spent a LOT more time with him than I expected. Like 6/7 of the days we were in his area. There was a lot of crazy monkey sex. Like 3 times in 24 hours type shit. We both went all the way, w condoms obviously.

What I didn’t expect was how tender and loving he was. Kissing our foreheads and rubbing our shoulders. He said I gave him one of the best blowjobs of his life. Turns out I LOVE sucking dick. Also an AMAZING kisser.

He said he’s never had anyone show him that intensity of attraction or attention. I think he was a tad overwhelmed by it. He was very, very sweet. He said he’s not romantically interested buuuut I’m not so sure. We’ll see.

It was…. Very good and confirmed a lot of things. I feel more confident in my body and self. I told him he’s only the 2nd person I’ve had sex with and he was like HUH. Definitely bisexual lol.

We did go clubbing!! Nothing sexual at the club, but uhhhh. We did go home and fuck until 7AM. Slept in until 2PM lol.

We all mutually agreed that the cuddling and kissing was the best part. We’re sort of all, like, special cuddle buddies, I suppose.

We went all over, did lots of sightseeing and such. We talked about life, friends, family. We really like him. We miss him a lot. He’s a special person to us. Very odd relationship, but we’re happy. A very, very good friend. He’s invited to the wedding haha.

Anyways, fantasy accuracy: 7/10

Satisfaction with the whole thing: 10/10. Better than I could’ve imagined. Much more special and meaningful than expected. Life changing experience. Very human.

None of us went looking for this situation, and it was very organic. We had a lot of fun.

PS: Cum tastes like bleach.

[mecheye]

Alright, Just finished Rebellion

Ahh, comments under the break in case you haven’t seen it yet!

WHAAAAT THE FAAAAACK?? How do i even start this?

First, i have to address the elephant in the room: Was this really it? Like this was the official end to the show for the last 10 years? What the fuck?

How did 2 hours pass by so quickly? It felt like the movie was just getting started! And then it just ends on probably the most ominous thing ever! Was this really what everyone accepted as a satisfying end to the series or was everyone as flabbergasted as i am right now?

Holy shit this was a ride. I have a few questions, but first the obvious:

The film was absolutely GORGEOUS! I’ve never seen a more “shaft”-like production before. The stylization was superb, whimsical and uncanny and disturbing in all the right ways. The animation was SO smooth, and the colors so vibrant, oh my god I freaking love this company

I was also SO HAPPY that Kyoko and Sayaka got some sort of closure (assuming they remember that moment, and Im hoping they will). I knew they were supposedly an official thing but i couldn’t feel that kind of connection develop between them during the tv show, so getting solid confirmation here was amazing! I’m assuming the manga adaptation of the tv show spent more time on their relationship?

Now, a few things i have questions on:

Number one: Was it ever explained how Homura got into this situation? Like why was she being experimented on? How did that happen? I feel like I’m forgetting something from the end of the original series as i distinctly remember that sandy wasteland making an appearance at the very end but i was so overwhelmed at that point that i can’t really remember it that well.

the connection between the two are missing a few beats. Also where did that sandy wasteland come from anyway?

Number B: Who the heck is Nagisa/Bebe? Was her entire name mentioned at all during the movie? What purpose did she have? I couldn’t figure out what exactly she was doing or why she was there. Was she was just included as fanservice?

Don’t get me wrong i kind of adore her as a character, I’m just … Why would Homura fabricate her?

Number III: Why is Sayaka just able to summon Octavia like it’s a persona?

I went into this expecting a few things to be explained because various pieces of fan art have depicted specific scenes and occurrences multiple times yet several of these referenced events were absent from the movie. Im assuming a lot was taken from the trailer for the next one (which i also haven’t seen yet) but, even still, i feel like I’m really missing something. Like nothing was really answered and all i have are more questions.

Aaaaand few more comments:

Damn Homura, you fucked up girl. Like the thing is that i kinda get it though. There is NO WAY she is okay. Not after dealing with the time loop bullshit, then the mind fuck that was Wraith Arc, and then this nightmare? Finding out you became a freakin witch and that the only way to save Madoka AGAIN is to just suffer for all eternity AGAIN? Ain’t no way. Aint no WAY you’re coming back from that with any amount of sanity left. Hell no.

Also, Mami is and always will be the most elegant badass I’ve ever seen. No contest. I’m in awe of her.

… I probably should not have watched this before going to bed. Im not going to sleep very easily tonight am i.

[manestjerne]

Let me save you pt. ll

Juice Ortiz x female reader 

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: mention of a toxic relationship 

My day off went by fast, I should’ve go get some groceries but instead I just spent the whole day in bed and ordered a takeout. I had no break in a week, so felt like I could use a lazy day. Reading a book under covers with a cup of hot coffee was one of my favorite ways to relax. I completely ignored the „baby, where are you? Are you running from me? What’s wrong?” texts from my ex’s new account. It’s not possible to block him so I can just pretend I don’t know what’s going on. The next day I took a shower in the morning, ate a bowl of cereal and enjoyed my free half of the day by playing some video games. When it was time to leave I went to grab my car keys, but then I remembered. Fuck, I was supposed to get some gas yesterday. After a quick fight with myself I chose to just walk there, it was about 15 minutes, and my shift started in 20. Yeah, that’s better. For me and the damn environment. I grabbed my purse and and left for work. On my way there I saw a cat sitting beside the sidewalk, so of course I had to go there and pet it, how could I just ignore that cutie? But that wasn’t a cutie.

- Ah you nasty bitch - the cat bit me and scratched half of my arm - Let go!

When I got free from the attacker I moved on looking in my bag for some tissues to wipe the drops of blood. Don’t pet stray cats ever again. Got it.

After cleaning the rest of my arm from blood I got behind a bar and started my routine by cleaning. Every time I heard the door opening I stealthily looked that way wishing Juice would come in, but he didn’t. Instead of him I saw Joe. Joe was one of our regulars, but he was a total prick. We all tried to ignore it and just serve him, but my day started bad enough, I didn’t have the patience to serve him now.

- Nat, your boy is here, come on - I yelled at the back door, waiting for her to appear.

She stood there so happy I almost felt bad doing that, but then I remembered every time she used me to deal with rude customers, so I just smiled.

- Oh, are you kidding me? I’m not-

- Sorry darling, I need to bring some coke from the back.

- There’s enough in the fridge!

- Yeah, remember last week, when you made me play pool with those creeps? You owe me one.

She still looked pissed.

- What about when some guys were fighting over that redhead? Or when I ha-

- Alright, alright. Go and hide, pussy.

Hanging out behind those magic doors was the best thing to do when something bad happened out front. Our boss didn’t really care, if the money was good one of us could literally go out and he wouldn’t give a shit. I saw a perfect opportunity. A whole lot of bottles were sitting on the floor, that’s the job for me, let’s put them away on the shelves. I had about two hours before the biggest crowd show up, so I decided to just stay there, coming out once in a while to bring Nat some more ice or sodas.

- Could you stand behind the bar for a minute? I need to call my mom.

Just 5 minutes, nothing bad can happen. I started pouring beers and mixing drinks, 10 pm and it was still quiet, but some of them have already had enough drinks. A guy tried to toss me a glass, he sat just two stools away from me, but refused to get up. I wanted to catch the sliding glass but it fell over and everything inside it went straight on my top. There wasn’t much left, about two melted ice cubes and a sip of cuba libre, but it was enough to get me wet.

- Oh shit, I’m so sorry, I really didn’t mean to do that.

- It’s alright, don’t worry.

It wasn’t, but what could I do? Can this day get any worse? I went behind the magic door and Nat was just putting her phone in a back pocket.

- Shit, what happened?

- You have a spare t-shirt I could borrow?

- No, sorry. Is it that wet?

- Nah, I look like a three year old who just ate noodle soup and smell like rum, but it’s fine.

- Just try to get it off, I can go back there.

Yeah, water didn’t help with the coke stain on my white shirt, so I decided to just keep stocking the bottles up. After only a few minutes I heard Nat.

- Hey y/n. Now your boy is here.

I rolled my eyes, pulled my pants up as much as possible to hide the stain and went through the door, ready to see a whole crowd of people, but it was shockingly quiet.

- What happened?

She just smiled, I looked around trying to find what’s wrong when I saw him.

- You know him? - I asked trying not to look at him

- Nah, but he came here yesterday, looking for you.

- Wait, you were here yesterday?

- Yeah, Laura told me you two had a hard Wednesday and wanted me to cover her. He’s cute.

- A little, but I’m not sure about that.

- Just give it a try, you’re so stressed, a dick would help.

- Oh shut up - I said when he sat on the stool across me - What can I get you?

- Just a beer - he smiled and put his phone on the bar

- What are you doing here, Juice? - I asked while pouring his drink - Another bad day?

- Yeah, stepped in on my way home.

- You live here?

- Not quite. You look like you had a bad day, what’s that? - he pointed at the stain on my stomach

- Oh yeah, very funny - but the words came out softly, not as rough my thoughts, I realized I’m not as stressed anymore

- No, seriously. Maybe you should drink with a straw next time.

I rolled my eyes handing him a beer.

- Trust me, if I had something else to wear I would put in on, but I came here on foot today. I left my spare clothes in the car, wasn’t expecting a cuba libre landing on my white shirt.

- I can borrow you a shirt - his voice was so soft, didn’t match his appearance

- Well, I don’t know you.

- It’s not a promise ring, just a shirt, and I have a jumper on, trust me I won’t freeze. But if you want to look like a three year old, then-

- Okay, that’s enough - I squinted my eyes - I’ll take it.

He smiled and went to the bathroom, came back a minute later with a white t-shirt in his hand.

- But watch out, I don’t have another one.

- Very funny - I said and went to the back

I finished changing when Nat came in with an empty keg.

- Wow, what’s that? - she asked pointing at my hand - And whose shirt is that? Oh my! You got it from the cute gangster, didn’t you?

- Stop yelling and change the keg, in 15 minutes we won’t have time for that.

I went to the tables and started collecting empty glasses, after wiping the tables I moved to the bar and wanted to get Juice’s glass but froze when he gently stroke my hand.

- What’s that?

- A scratch? - I said with fake disbelief in my eyes, trying to play it cool

- What happened?

- It’s nothing, I cleaned it already, I’m a nurse, remember? - but he acted like he didn’t hear me

- You okay? Who did this to you? - I couldn’t help but started laughing - hey, what’s so funny?

- I saw a cat on my way here… - his faced relaxed in a moment

- Natalie, could you please help me? Sure y/n, enjoy your date and I’ll serve everyone else, don’t worry - I heard a voice behind my back

- Am I interrupting you? - Juice asked nervously looking at my coworker

- Don’t worry, she’s just playing. They actually pay me for entertaining guests.

- So you’re entertaining me?

- If I’m not then why would you come back?

I felt a phone buzzing in my back pocket. I took it out to check who’s calling, but when I saw my ex’s name I quickly put it away. Yeah, whatsapp, I haven’t used it in years.

- You can’t use your phone at work?

- Of course I can, just didn’t want to pick up - I smiled trying to look as calm as possible

- Can I get your number then?

- What for?

- Well, you have my shirt

- Well - I smiled - but it’s not a promise ring, remember?

He looked me for a second not saying anything. I went to serve another guest, still smiling. When I came back after a while he took one of his rings of and gave it to me.

- And what’s that?

- A promise ring, so let me start again. Can I get your number? - I laughed at loud this time, took his phone and wrote my number down, putting his ring in my pocket - unbelievable…..

Rest of the night went by pretty fast, as always during the weekend, but this time my smile wasn’t a „customer smile”, it was real, whole damn night. I didn’t care about rude customers, I didn’t get mad when they whistled at me, I didn’t care about young boys hitting up on me. I didn’t, because I could feel him staring at me the whole time. There wasn’t much time when I could talk to him, but he still stayed, sitting at the bar all alone. People finally started to leave, so I used a moment to go back behind the bar.

- You want a lift home?

- Nah, I’m good.

- What about all the bad guys out there? And bad cats… - he smiled - you sure you want to go on foot?

I heard a phone buzzing, but this time it wasn’t mine. Juice’s phone was still on the counter. I caught myself staring at it so I looked away quickly. Jax doesn’t sound like a girls name, that’s good. He put his phone down after a minute and looked at me.

- What time do you finish?

- In 20 minutes, why?

- I can still give you a ride home.

- Don’t worry, I actually need a walk, I’ll be fine. Your boyfriend probably needs you more than me if he’s calling that late.

- You sure? - he smiled

- Yup, go home. See you - I didn’t mean to say that, felt my cheeks getting red, he just gave me a warm smile

- Get home safe, okay?

- Okay - I said, my cheeks were burning at this point

He left with a smile on his face and I was just standing there, looking at the door.

- Hey y/n, can I get another one?

- No Joe, we’re closing in 15 minutes - I said not even looking his way

My walk home was scarier than ever before, but I knew it was only because of what Juice said. When I got home I took a shower, ate some leftover pizza and got ready to go to bed. I looked at the pile of clothes tossed on the chair. Took the borrowed shirt with some other white stuff I could find and put in in the washer. I wanted to do laundry tomorrow anyways. Then I picked up my jeans and took the ring out of a pocket. I looked closely and saw „Sons of Anarchy” engraved on it. Well, a promise ring from a biker, that’s funny. I put it on my necklace and went to bed when I realized how much my head hurts and how tired I am. I refused to get up to get some painkillers. I got a text message, probably from Nat or my ex, so I ignored it. This can wait ’till morning. Another one. God. Then my phone started ringing. With my eyes closed I picked it up ready to tell him to fuck off and leave me alone.

- Hey, sorry, were you sleeping? - I opened my eyes, his voice as soft and worried as when he saw my arm

- What? No, I- I was making dinner, sorry. What’s up?

- I just wanted to make sure you got home safe.

- I’m okay. Thanks Juice.

- Wonderful, goodnight y/n, you should get some sleep.

- Goodnight.

He hung up, but I couldn’t close my eyes now, I wasn’t expecting that. My headache was gone and suddenly I was not sleepy at all, so I got up and made myself some tea.

[phantomskeep]

I just thought of something that happened to me during college and I completely forgot about it until just now. I have a crushing need to talk about, so into the voidspace of Tumblr it goes!

My like... third to last(??) semester of college I had to take this super-boring HR class. I was the only one in there not on a business degree track - I was just insane and thought it sounded cool (I also wanted to beat my personal record of taking over 20 hours in one semester.... ended up taking 26 my second-to-last so HA! TAKE THAT SCHOOL!). The first day of this class, I know probably one person in there. And this wasn't a small college, either. It only had about 10 degrees offered in total and a small enough population to comfortably fit everyone into 5 dorm buildings - all but one being only two stories tall with maybe 200 rooms each. So basically knowing no-one in that class? Was wild to me. I had never been in a single class that I didn't have at least one friend in since my freshman year.

So I tuck myself away at a table in a far corner and resign myself to either being social and making new friends, or suffering through a two hour lecture with no company. My anti-social ass decided on the latter.

But then... This dude walks in. As a Big Fan Of Many Things, I always typically try to read whatever is on people's shirts. It's the best way for me to clock "friend or foe". And this dude? Wayne Enterprises shirt. Okay, cool, another Batman fan. He sits at my claimed table with a shy little "hi" because my degree required me to wear this dumb Navy-regulated khaki uniform. Super intimidating on a five-foot-nothing transman, I'm sure. I say hello back, and just. Silently watch this dude. For the full two hours. Trying to figure him out.

Was he a Big Nerd like myself? He looked like one but I do my best to not judge. Was he one of those macho-dudes who liked comics just because of the shitty writing and solving issues with bodily pain? Was he just a fan from the games, or movies, or TV shows? All of my questions could have been answered if I asked.

But, no. That's too easy.

I spent the next five weeks trying to sus out what kind of fan he was. The dude's only fan shirt was the Wayne Enterprises one. The rest of them were plain Ts or button-downs. At one point I added a Jason Todd sticker to my laptop's collection - he didn't mention anything so, to me, that ticked the "maybe not a huge nerd" column. No further evidence had been gathered, though we had started chatting before and after lectures.

Then comes the fateful day. I'm out of uniform, walking to the only restaurant on campus (if it could even be called that. It was run by the same people who ran the cafeteria and was just as shitty). I'm in casual wear - sweats, sneakers, and a damning tank-top - because I had just finished being a gym rat. I'm almost to the shitty Chipotle's ripoff when I hear a familiar voice call my name. I turn around, "Gotham City Crime Alley Club" tank on full display. There he is - the dude from my HR class. This man looks so fucking excited, like someone just gave him a cute puppy and told him cancer's been cured. This man, this absolute menace I started calling a friend, looks me dead in the goddamn eyes and goes:

"Oh my god you like Batman we should totally bang."

And man, if that wasn't just the smoothest shit ever. If I hadn't been in a relationship at the time I absolutely would've, too. Ever since then my HR class was filled with the two of us talking shop about the various DC media. Didn't learn shit about why HR is, y'know, HR. But damn if I didn't learn some cool comic history from my little nerdy friend.

[nephrastar]

Honestly convinced that, barring maybe tumblr, bigwig social media has collapsed damn near all of my social circles.

All this shit about figuring out the algorithm, all this shit about analytics, SEO, about view time, about follower count... I just fucking hate it all now. Social media basically turned the internet from a wild west with pockets of peaceful and interesting communes to a monolithic walled city where the only thing that matters is numbers. And if you get big numbers, congrats you get to be famous!! But only if you can keep those numbers going.

And let me tell you from personal experience-- 9 times out of 10, when you post something to social media at "the right time of day" with the intent of getting some clout, your post just... Does not get clout, most of the time.

Any post that goes viral is a benefactor of circumstance. In my almost 20 years of being on the internet, the one and only thing I've ever posted that went viral was a shitpost on Twitter of me memeing on a restaurant because they had a tip limit on their app and they along with many other food and adjacent companies were being criticized for not paying their employees a living wage. This was in 2022. Last year. I learned nothing from having hundreds of thousands of likes and retweets, and have not had anything nearly as popular since. I promoted my art Twitter in the replies, but you wanna know what that did?

Absolutely FUCKING NOTHING. I didnt make any money as a result of piggybacking that viral tweet. I didn't have people clamoring for what i had to offer. And it was then when I realized that getting big numbers anywhere will ultimately amount to jack and shit. And Jack had long since left town.

That may sound like i was upset that i didnt become internet famous overnight. I honestly wasn't, but there's a point to be made here-- the chances of your platform becoming big and internet famous are about as good as your acting landing you a breakout role in a Hollywood film. You're competing with hundreds of hours worth of content per second on most platforms, and depending on the site, their algorithm, which may or may not be controlled by real life humans.

Nobody can know for certain what types of videos will be hits on YouTube anymore. not even YouTube staff know what will be hits anymore because their algorithm is a machine learning AI, and creating any content at all with the intent of beating the algorithm or making faceless computers happy will lead to burnout. And when that content doesn't make the big numbers, you're probably going to feel like it's your fault when it's really not. this goes for any social media site that uses similar methods to "curate" their user's site experience.

And I've seen far too many people i know fall into this trap, which may as well be gambling. Getting good numbers so you can get that nice dopamine hit. Then maybe you hit a jackpot. Then you're just outright delighted. So you do the same thing you did before. But it doesn't make big numbers this time. Was it something you did? Ah well. Post again. Nothing. You adjust how you post and when to post. Maybe what to post, even. But still... Your content isn't doing well. You may as well be playing slots at a casino, except instead of losing thousands of dollars you're losing time. Time that, honestly, would've been better spent doing something you legitimately like to do.

The way i see it, make content like the algorithm doesn't exist-- make videos infodumping about your special interest like view counts dont matter, draw art and post it with the same energy a 5 year old has when they show off their macaroni art to their parents. Make the music you want to hear played during a thunderstorm.

Make the content that you want because you like the idea of it existing. At the end of the day, that content is FOR YOU! It has value because you poured your passion and love into it, and no amount of Algorithms or influencer courses or viral content will ever change that. And if that does eventually lead to you being notable and successful, then congratulations! You have a large audience that's cheering you on and encouraging you to do what you love.

[llycaons]

ep16 (part 1): for some reason I didn't think it could get worse

15 is one of those eps that you need to follow with 16 asap so here we go

BLOOD IN THE LOTUS PONDS. FUCKED UP

this is shit like the CR attack - lots of violent scenes fading in and out. effective as shit

WHY DID LITTLE ARCHER BOY DIE LIKE THIS!!! at LEAST give him a kill like this felt so pointless and empty from a narrative point of view. 'well sometimes in war people die randomly' I know that! but this is a story it's supposed to mean something. it was just to make this scene sadder and I for one do not appreciate that

I've seen that translated as 'my lady' in other services and I like that one better. more formality/feels more ancient fantasy setting

and this bastard idiot man walks in and IMMEDIATELY gets stabbed. myu was holding down the fort for what could have been HOURS and this fool stumbles in and just dies within 30 seconds. GOD jfm you useless man

swear jyl has some kind of gift that lets her portend when her family members are about to die

there's a lot of horrible stuff that happens in this series but honestly nothing gets me as much as this scene. the sheer. idk. simplicity of it? unlike a lot of the convoluted storylines later on, this is something so straighforward that can and has happened to so many people. their home has been taken over and their family and friends have been murdered. they're watching the bodies of their shidis and shijies being lined up by a force that came into their home and destroyed it and insulted it and defiled it and will now claim it as theirs. and it's happening right in front of their eyes. it's just something so raw and in-your-face and impossible to ignore or sugarcoat. one of the worst scenes to watch

and then THIS. honestly I don't really understand the significance of the hand-holding and I don't think it added anything to the characters or story. I don't understand why so much time was spent on it. what did they love each other after all? deep down? I don't really believe 'deep down' matters after what a mess their relationship was and how much it hurt their kids

a long time ago I read a meta post about how jc hearing his mom publicly mocked for caring about someone who didn't care for her back is one of the reasons he's so fucked up about expressing affection to wwx and why he takes wwx leaving so hard. his mom is dead and humiliated on the floor, her corpse desecrated. I don't think he ever got over this

and wwx too obviously. just horrific trauma happening before our eyes

going to say something controversial but I think xz is a better ugly crier than wcz. wcz is really good but more looks scared in most of his crying scenes, but xz just lets his face crumple with the force of his grief

WITH THE CURTAINS??!!! GIRl

damn...conquest is fucked up huh

gorgeous shot 10/10 no wonder its always giffed

I guess jfm had something he wanted to say before dying but idc.

jc would be so dead without wwx...

DID HE SLAP WWX. HOLY SHIT. after that scene with his mom and wlj and that line about servants knowing their place that REALLY sends a message. god damn, I'm really mad at him for that

this strangulation scene went on for a terrifyingly long time. wwx had to struggle to breathe when it ended. really scary to watch

I don't believe jc views wwx as A Servant but I also don't think he really views him as his equal either because his behavior towards wwx is uniquely aggressive and disrespectful. wwx may be treated as a young lord by most of the world, but he's also not in a position to fight back or hurt jc in any way, and he can't really leave the jiangs when he's being mistreated because he feels he owes them a life debt

anyway. gorgeous shot here

oh god. he's so young

I think wwx is keeping himself from crying because. he's not allowed. fuck

shit, that's a lot

[flowered-mp3]

pls ignore this (unless you’re curious), i’m literally just going to rant about this guy that i’m seeing because he makes my brain hurt and i’m kinda freaking out over it

date number god damn three went horrifically well. i’m a god damn mess. his guy actually likes me and i like him (i actually made him tell me that he likes me in plain language lmfao). 

this date was chaotic as shit, but it was the most fun that i’ve had in a long time. i spent over 12 hours with him. we went to the mall to play a stupid fucking game, went to an arcade place (but he couldn’t reload his points properly to play the games and we were CRYING laughing because he felt so embarrassed but it was funny to both of us because it was super chaotic), and then we went to a restaurant to eat dinner instead BUT it was a 30 min wait so we go to a wendy’s instead BUT no one was at the drive thru so we settled on eating mcdonalds in his car LMAO. he also admitted that he didn’t eat the entire fucking day during this “searching for food” process and i got kinda mad and yelled “WHAT?” and he laughed at my response but then i remembered that i also didn’t eat since he picked me up and i felt bad alsdfjlkj

so as we were getting food i was like “i feel so bad i’m so sorry for not saying something or suggesting that we get food” and this MAN puts his hand on my thigh and said that it’s not my fault in that comforting voice that he has and my brain-short circuited so much to the point that i held his hand immediately and interlaced our fingers?!?!? i squeeze his hand and he squeezes back? then after we eat mcdonalds in his car he drives me back home, but parks 2 mins away in my residential area to talk (just like our first date). we hold hands again and cuddle in his car at 10:30 pm and it’s dark out LIKE WTF and then my arm was falling asleep so i ended up hugging his arm (?) lol and his hand was resting on my thigh and he started rubbing his thumb against my thigh like FUCK that’s so fucking hot of him like my GOD why tf like WHAT IS THIS DATE

we talk about relationship shit, and essentially talk about our fears and stuff. i literally said that i like him and that it terrifies me and he says that he’s scared too. then he asks about my past relationships with men and i answer them and i ask stuff too. he says that all three of our dates are in his top 5 of all time. idk how to do this anymore. i’m fucking scared. i don’t know what’s happening to me. 

but he made me laugh so much, like i genuinely cannot remember the last time that i laughed and smiled that much. i don’t think that i’ve ever felt so comfortable with someone in a long time. we matched and i felt nothing. i responded on a whim. first phone call i was like “oh. he’s funny and i laughed alot”, then first date i was like “oh, he’s cute and fun to be around.” and now i’m like “i want to see you all the time and kiss your stupid fucking mouth and hold your fucking hand and share my fears and goals and experiences with you. i want to learn about your interests. you’re so dorky but i’m so unbelieveably attracted to you that i want you to do filthy things to me and i want to do filthy things to you and [redacted]”

BUT U KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING KICKER IS? he’s also seeing another girl so i am trying my absolute best to remain unfazed and uninvested. like i signed up for this. i KNEW that he was also talking to another girl. i KNOW that i signed up for this. but all i can do at this point is wait it out, and see where it goes. who knows, maybe this feeling will go away, and this whole rant is pointless but i’m losing my mind right now when i know that i shouldn’t be but i am anyway. 

[penny00dreadful]

First Impressions - Chapter 7

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 AO3

Steve had made himself scarce once more. In the weeks after whatever the fuck happened in his kitchen, it was like he’d never even been around again in the first place.

Which was wonderful.

Great, even. 

Because Eddie was damn pissed. 

He hadn’t told Chrissy yet, he didn’t think it would do any good to know those attempts to get back in touch with Robin after her coming out to herself had been cut off at the knees by Robin’s fucking bodyguard.

Nancy’s publishers had loved his story but were cautious. They wanted to do a trial run first, within their own storefront in the city and see how that did before they committed to a full release. Eddie understood, they needed to protect their profits or whatever, make sure anyone actually gave a shit about his story, but it did nothing to settle his nerves.

It was one particularly nerve-wracking day for him, he’d woken up convinced that this whole thing was going to become one big embarrassing fiasco. He’d sell maybe one or two copies then the publishers would have to come back to him and inform him that actually it was shit and no one wanted to read it, so sorry? Go back to bartending or whatever it is he had as a day job.

He’d spent the last hour with his fists in his hair or chewing on his thumb or staring off into space. He wished he could just jump forward in time a few weeks to get those sales numbers so he wouldn’t have to slog through and wait for news like some peasant.

Which was why he was completely unprepared to hear frantic knocking at the door and find Steve Harrington standing in his doorway nearly a full month after he’d last seen him.

He looked much the same as he did back then, harried and vaguely irritated with mussed up hair like he’d been tugging at it, bottom lip raw and inflamed, and a wild, intense look in his eye.

The appearance caught Eddie so much by surprise that he completely froze up. He had half a mind to kick the man out of the apartment building, out of Hawkins if he had to but Steve spoke before he could jumpstart his brain back into action. 

“We wouldn’t work together.”

Eddie blinked, confusion momentarily superseding anything else he was feeling.

“What?”

“We wouldn’t work together. We shouldn’t work together. We’re too different.”

He closed and opened his mouth before answering, “Okay…?”

“I’ve tried Eddie.” Steve ran his hand through his hair again, looking every bit like a man on the edge. “I have really, honestly tried but it’s not going away and I don’t know if I can take it anymore.”

“Dude, I have no idea-”

“You’re weird! You’re so weird and bitchy and constantly up in arms about conformity and ‘the status quo’. You’re so possessive over the things you love, your music, your writing, your friends… Whenever I’m expecting you to go left, you go right.” Steve was ranting now, waving his arms around and getting louder. 

“You refuse to back down from your opinions on things even when there’s evidence to the contrary and you’re messy. You’re so fucking messy and chaotic with everything you do, it’s a god damn nightmare to watch. You’re loud and abrasive and a damn nuisance to my psyche.” Eddie had backed away from the door now, completely stunned and a little mesmeried but letting Steve inside anyway to get him out of the fucking hallway. He didn’t need another noise complaint from the prick down the hall. Steve followed him through like he was being pulled by a magnet, still raving. 

“You can barely go ten minutes without drawing attention to yourself and what’s worse is I don’t think you even realise you’re doing it! Every time you walk into a room, everyone pays attention because you’re just so much with the hair and the chains and the leather and those fucking tattoos. Those fucking tattoos that will be the death of me, I swear.” Steve was pacing now, pointing an accusing finger at him.

“I don’t understand half the things you’re talking about but you talk about them with so much passion I can’t help but keep listening and it’s all so fucking nerdy. You’re nerdy and cringey and weird and I can’t stop-” He huffed interrupting himself and glaring at Eddie.

“Did you come here just to insult me?” Eddie cocked an eyebrow. He couldn’t lie to himself. The sight of Steve losing his mind over whatever this was was just too entertaining. He used all that malice and hate swirling up in him to try and drown out the beating of his hideous heart.

Steve’s eyes went wide and he stepped closer. “No! No, that’s not what I…” He turned, almost in a full circle, tugging at his hair and looking around as if the answer was going to pop out of nowhere. “I… I can’t…” He sighed in frustration again and Eddie could feel it across his face, suddenly aware of how criminally close they were. Their chests met with every inhale and from this close he could feel the heat radiating off of Steve even though his coat was drenched from the weather.

Eddie was rooted to the spot, he couldn’t move, almost mesmerised by what was in front of him. Steve’s hand was warm and firm against his shoulder, his fingers just barely touching the vertebrae at the back of his neck and Eddie was pretty sure his thumping pulse was visible under his skin.

There was so much adrenaline running through him with nowhere for it to go because he still couldn’t move and Steve was just standing there with his moles and his irritated, puffy, rosy lips.

He looked back up to meet Steve’s honey brown eyes and again found them travelling around his face, looking for a sign of something or some kind of invitation. There was a strand of hair falling across his forehead and he looked both tormented and resigned at the same time. 

“I can’t stop thinking about you.” Steve breathed, almost into his mouth and Eddie couldn’t help the way his own breath caught in his throat. Steve’s hand tightened momentarily on the back of his neck before loosening and pulling him that scant amount of space closer.

Full chapter on AO3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

continue reaction for chapter 13!

Thank you for giving me the best few years of my life. I will never forget your heart. I will love you forever.

i wanna wack alec with those flowers i really do

Cat sighed heavily. “Alec called us. Said you shouldn’t be alone right now.”

hes like chocolate i know he can hurt me i cant stop loving yk

Even Magnus’s own brain wasn’t his anymore. Because if it was—then it would believe the words that Magnus had been repeating for days.

how down bad you are to have your brain turn against you in hating mantra

Well, he would show Alec Lightwood how he didn’t need his care anymore.

maybe this all in alec master plan, he could take care of magnus from a distance and evoke spike, which is like one of the most powerful reasons for doing anything

The tune came out all scratchy and broken.

fucking hell-

the next part my doctor also said it hurting me but i let you know im hearing cornelia street piano version while re-reading this again and it hurt like finding out you forgot to plug the rice cooker and its dinner time

“I’m Lieutenant Commander from Navy SEAL. This is about national security. We need to stop a flight from leaving.” Alec lied through his teeth and heard Jace chuckle at it.

sorry to say i would report the shit out of this nobody is abusing power for love on my watch

Magnus could be done with his bullshit and refuse to take him back.

worry not magnus will leave you in the dust in hiadt you'll be more ancient than dinosaur

Simon grinned. “So what if we didn’t get the airport reunion. You can find him in London and profess your undying love while it’s raining. That’s a great reunion too.”

why would anyone risk catching a cold for romance ion understand dude ion understand dudeeeee

Tessa shook her head. “No, Alec. He’s not out for work. Magnus isn’t here. He never came to London.”

finding magnus- the sequel to finding nemo we all been looking for

He spent the next eight hours listening to the album till he reached New York.

going on two eight hours flights back to back...top 10 thing i can never do for a man im sorry yall

He felt suddenly choked up. “I—I really thought he’d be here. I really thought I was home.”

delusion always hurt when wee get ice water splashed to the face

“Long. Had a boring meeting with the execs for my next tour. I swear it could have easily been an email.” Magnus said dramatically.

i would actually sue if i have to write more than 3 emails a day

“You’d look so hot in a skirt Alec. If you really loved me, you would have done that for me.”

alec pls wear a mini skirt im begging you full two knees

“Twelve.”

damn this lists some megamind shit Shakespeare WHO??!??

“I’m not even one percent sure about anything. Just you. I can’t escape you, Alec Lightwood. And neither do I want to.”

the a in alec lightwood stand for addicted okay i'll stop

Alec smiled and grabbed Magnus’s face. “I could spend my entire life with just your memories. But memories have got nothing on you, Magnus Bane. I want the real thing in my life back.”

still remember cheering on alec accidental husband stealer era and now we're at this im so proud (he should steal husband more imo)

jajsjsjsj sequel to finding Nemo had me cracking so hard bro.

Also yes, that list was sone megamind shit—I am extremely proud of it lol. And yes, the A in Alec Lightwood stands for addiction and rightfully so.

Also I would never travel for a man either but it’s okay if a man suffers because of other men it’s to balance the scales jklljshhsll

ALEC ACCIDENTAL HUSBAND ERA JFC HOW FAR WE HAVE COME Y’ALL

[halleymacleod666]

Hello guys, it's been a while.

I just want to do a rant on beauty standards cause I'm so fucking annoyed.

(Soon I'll be back on tumblr more often and I'll update you on how I've been doing with my weight and all)

Anyway yeah I'm so tired of everyone expecting perfection from me (including myself here)

What society has come to is just sad and honestly kinda outrageous. I'm willing to argue that the 90's and early 2000's beauty ideals were less toxic than today. I'm talking about the super super skinny Era (heroin chic too). Like yes girls were starving themselves back then to be thin, but that's pretty much all they were expected to do to be "ideal". Nowadays if you wanna be what is considered "perfect" you need butt lifts and/or implants, boob jobs, lip fillers, nose jobs, face lifts, liposuction, cheek fillers, brow lifts and on top of that you need to follow a strict "healthy" diet and workout 2 hours a day. OH BUT EVEN THAT IS NOT ENOUGH, BECAUSE CELEBRITIES AND INFLUENCERS WHO SPENT ALL THAT MONEY ON PLASTIC SURGERY AND PERSONAL TRAINERS STILL AREN'T SATISFIED AND THEN GO ON AN EDIT ALL THEIR GOD DAMN PHOTOS TO THE POINT THEY LOOK NOTHING LIKE THEY DO IN REAL LIFE.

It fucking bothers me that everyone looks so fucking perfect on social media and comperatively me and every other normal looking person that didn't spend 200000$ for plastic to be pumped into them looks like shit. And it's toxic af that all those influencers claim they are completely natural just to "pump" their ego up. Like okay get plastic surgery but at least fucking admit it, it's obvious, don't bullshit me that you "worked out" for 2 months and magically lost 5 inches off your waist and gained 10 inches on your butt.

My fucking boyfriend also like buys into that "I'm all natural" crap, and sends me like workout videos and progress girls made through working out. It fucking upsets me. They are not fucking real. Like don't fucking send me a video of a girl doing 30 squats and then magically a year later her butt is 10 times bigger while her legs and waist got 3 times smaller. Like how dumb are you. He won't let me get plastic surgery (like I wanted a nose job bc I hate my nose and I've been bullied for it) but he says he doesn't want me to get anything and that natural is better and that he'll leave me if I get plastic surgery and then fucking shows me a picture of a girl that's faker than Kim kardashian! Like bro make up your mind.

Anyway yeah it fucking hurts to be compared to those girls. I'm honestly so fucking glad that the heroin chic starvation is coming back. I don't think body types should be trends, I think the whole culture around beauty standards is disgusting but I hate my body so much now and I hate myself for not looking like the girls on instagram so at least with the super skinny coming back it's something that's more achievable and at least I will feel better about myself when I reach that standard.