#but demon dean is not portrayed positively

[shallowrambles]

I'm so bothered by the fetishization of twins and triplets, actually. If I could erase anything, it'd be the flippant references to this. :(

To be clear, I'm not pro-purity culture. I just- this one stings and I have to literally curate my experience so hard because of it

I can't stand when it's used as "code" for "queer experience" either because it's just positioning queer as "unnatural / evil," and that bothers the heck outta me when they're equated. Inappropriate boundary crossing, grooming, and abuse =/= insta-queer. It's like HMMM. The way ppl stan the crowley hookup when it's a shows canon incest kink interest squicks the fuck outta me and like...the whole Demon!Dean is a study in disinhibition! Disinhibition was shown as very evil / shameful / uncomfortable experience for Dean, like, the entirety of season 10...Sam even tries to comfort him about it. But because Crowley-Dean supports those sides of Dean ppl want in their ships, they overlook that aspect of it.

There's also the American-ness of howling at the moon and total "I do what I WANT" as being a good thing, when it's clearly shown as...not. There's gotta be balance, man.

Reduced inhibition is OFTEN used as circumvention of consent, as Dean recounts in his John-and-the-bar story. And disinhibitions are ofc not always a reflection of true self. I'm thinking of a neuro unit, where an injured TBI survivor hits on his granddaughter. Is that his "true personality?" Of course not! It's a loss of free will, judgment, and choice due to the injury and/or disinhibition.

And this is a show about free will, after all.

Drinking and drugging tend to ‘loosen you up’ by reducing inhibitions. But they remove your judgment and CHOICE about things, too. That's not necessarily free will. Reduced inhibitions can be enjoyable, but they can also create risks and dangers. Our inhibitions serve to keep us acting within an acceptable threshold; reducing these inhibitions can push you past the threshold.

Drug addiction is sometimes potrayed as "freeing" but ofc that isn't the complete story. Even so, the show doesn't agree that the punishment fits the crime. Like Crowley, Randy is complex, and he has real feelings and emotions for his relationships!

I feel like the Claire episode puts this in full display:

///

10x09

DEAN: All right, so I get there. I sneak in, and it is nuts. I mean, people are drinking and they’re smoking and they’re—they’re snorting whatever. There’s a five-hundred pound guy on stage with a Mohawk just screaming. And, uh, my mind is blown. I don’t even know what to do. Then this girls walks up and she says “Hey, why don’t you come over and sit down with me and my friends at our table?” All right!

SAM: Yeah, and they get him drunk. First time.

DEAN: But not fun drunk. I’m not quite sure what was in that stuff, but the room starts to spin, and I feel like I’m going to puke … forever. And right about that time, I hear him. “Dean Winchester!”

[Cas looks confused, but Sam just smiles.]

DEAN: My old man. I don’t know how, but he found me. And now I’m really freaking out, because he’s just standing there, not saying anything. I look around, and everybody else is freaking out, too. In fact, nobody’s even looking him in the eye. And finally, this one guy with, like, a safety pin through his nose and a—a “Kill Everything” tattoo looks up and he says, “Sorry, sir.”

---

[Claire is sitting on a bed by herself when she hears footsteps. The door opens, and Salinger is standing there. He motions for his men to leave, and he turns to Claire.]

SALINGER: Hi. [He finishes off his beer, then turns and locks the door.] It’s Claire, right?

[She won’t look at him, until he’s standing in front of her. He reaches down, taking hold of her chin, making her look up at him.]

You really are a pretty one, you know that?

[She lifts her leg, kneeing him in the groin. She runs to the door and tries to unlock it, but Salinger is right behind her, grabbing her as she screams.]

[One of Salinger’s men opens the front door to find Cas, Sam, and Dean standing there. Cas lifts a hand, and the man goes flying backwards.

--

CASTIEL:

Where’s the girl?

[They hear screaming come from upstairs. In the room, Claire is screaming, trying to fight Salinger off. He’s trying to hold her down, and the door flies open. Castiel is standing there, and Salinger turns to look at him, giving Claire enough of an opening to kick Salinger in the face and get up. She kicks him, over and over again.]

CASTIEL: Claire. Claire!

[Castiel grabs her arm, and she finally stops kicking. Cas leads her from the room. They walk downstairs, and Claire moves away from Cas.]

--

[Claire climbs into the back seat of the Impala, and Castiel sits beside her. Claire smiles.]

CASTIEL: Are you okay?

CLAIRE: Yeah.

[She moves over, laying her head on Castiel’s chest, wrapping her arms around him. Cas hugs her back. Sam climbs in the front seat and glances back. He turns his head back towards the house as he hears shouting, then leaves the car as fast as he can.]

///

10x10

(Scene changes to Castiel pacing in the bunker library.)

CASTIEL: She barely speaks to me.

(Sam comes into view, sitting.)

CASTIEL: She’s like a wounded animal, just watching me.

SAM: Look, Cas, you know what? You really tried to do the right thing that night. You did. This guy Claire was hanging out with, Randy, all he did was use her.

CASTIEL: Well, she thought he was kind. And for that, she loved him. Shows how little kindness there was in her life. You know, whatever Randy did, he didn’t deserve –

SAM: No, yeah, I know, I know. I hear you. Dean has had to kill before. We both have. But that was –

DEAN: That was what?

(Sam rises, surprised. Dean walks in from the war room.)

SAM: Dean.

DEAN: That was a massacre. That’s what it was. (Dean looks from Sam to Cas.)

DEAN: There was a time I was a hunter, not a stone-cold killer?

(Cas and Sam look troubled.)

DEAN: You can say it. You’re not wrong. I crossed the line. Guys, this thing’s gotta go.

(Dean looks down at the Mark of Cain on his arm.)

///

And 10x22

MR. McKINLEY: By suggesting my daughter was a slut?

DEAN: I'll admit that thought crossed my mind. Then I came here, and I smelled the deceit and the beatings and the shame that pervade this home.

MR. McKINLEY: You shut your face right now.

DEAN: And you know what? I don't blame Rose anymore. No wonder she put on that skank outfit and went out there looking for validation, right into the arms of the monster that killed her. (Dean looks at Mr. McKinley and in a very calm voice says) Joe, who did this?

[aliusfrater]

i've said it before and i'll say it again: personally i don't think sam is '''womancoded''' specifically but i do think that based on supernatural's genre and it's tropes, sam's character is set within the archetype of the narrative's nucleus Other in both the most 2005 and gothic horror/supernatural resurgence/metahorror way possible and as the show's allegorical patriarchal structure shifted and developed, the non-role that he eventually and, more often than not, falls into when it comes to episodic tropes are ones that can be seen as normatively feminine—damsel in distress, prudishness, beta bitch (to dean in context), bratty-ness (2.15), hysterical (i actually have a dialogue compilation in my drafts and this), and he becomes jack's Mother in terms of the roles he and dean eventually occupy when it comes to considering jack as their son.

and while it is valid and true to think that this idea—in regards to any kind of gender-related concept in regards to a canonically cisgender male character in supernatural—exists because of the existing misogynist tendencies within both fandom and the way the show itself handles its female characters, and that by thinking about a male character in this way, it's an excuse for not caring about these female characters but sam is also explicitly and purposefully written this way, both in terms of his original character archetypes and certain tropes that he's written into (singer has discussed sam's role as jack's mother); both ideas can and do exist.

anyway the point is that supernatural is just so heteronormative that it could not create a space outside of an idea of the show's own standard of masculinity within which sam could reside. and even then the Othering and liminality of sam's character, which originally exist in reference to his monstrosity, both set the foundation for and perpetuate this aspect of his patriarchal position. and honestly, he isn't the only character that this is explored in; a lot of cis-male demons are portrayed as being queer or doing emasculating things because of their monstrosity. sam's Othering can exist as an allegory for a lot of things—queerness, immigration, neurodivergency, etc.—but based on just how evident masculinity is in supernatural, feminine gender explorations are low-hanging fruit.

[autisticandroids]

this post is a spiritual sequel to this other post. and also this one.

trying to make um. several amvs about season six (three? at the moment? lol? or actually one is mostly season nine but it's still relevant here) and the problem with season six amvs and honestly any amv which tries to grapple with cas' relationship to other angels is that they will um. they'll come out more deancrit. than they need to be.

because like. okay. microcosm. let me pull from this post:

number one: the other angels (i). cas' betrayal of rachel in frontierland is a synecdoche for this. and like the thing that happens in frontierland is that rachel finds out that cas is working with crowley and immediately tries to kill him, and he kills her in self-defense. i have a longer post that breaks this down a little more here, but okay here is the list of things going on in this scene:

1. cas is working with crowley. that is not meaningfully a betrayal of the other angels. 2. cas lies about working with crowley because he predicts, rightly, that the other angels, unused to any kind of moral complexity or existing in a world where you have to make choices, and still steeped in angelic prejudice against demons, would object to him working with crowley, and he would not be able to convince them it was a good idea. 3. rachel finds out about this lie, which IS arguably a betrayal, but honestly i don't really know if it qualifies. 4. she immediately tries to fully murder cas because angels have no conflict resolution skill, because, again, they have never learned to make choices really. like, they have spend millennia being tortured and killed for small acts of disobedience, and getting brainwashed and lobotomized every time they experienced emotional growth. so they have no real gauge on what's an appropriate thing to kill each other over and they don't have any way of resolving any sort of conflict. 5. cas kills her in self-defense. 6. this is all framed as a tragedy. rachel is not vilified and cas mourns her and holds her as she dies.

number two: the winchesters (i). specifically, the man who would be king. this is not meaningfully a betrayal by cas. sam, dean, and bobby find out that cas has been doing something without their permission and immediately turn on him and declare him and enemy, despite the fact that he is working to save all their lives and trying to solve a literally apocalyptic-scale problem that they've been ignoring and dismissing. they are betraying him here, not the other way around. dean takes point on this betrayal of cas but the others are also fully on board.

so the thing about tmwwbk and the rachel thing is that they're fundamentally kind of the same? except that, well, rachel dies for it. like, both the winchesters and rachel turn on cas for something that doesn't make a lot of sense and they probably shouldn't turn on him about.

but in rachel's case, it's portrayed as a tragedy that cas has to kill her, but a necessary one. rachel is wrong, and it's sad that she's wrong! we don't really want rachel to die! but at this point the only option is for her to die or for cas to, and well, cas is our friend, but also, cas is right. he's right to be working with crowley, and honestly he's right to be hiding it, as well. rachel like, loses. and it's sad but it's kind of no one's fault. things were always going to shake out that way because of the nature of cas' position, and of newly freeminded angels. but rachel is wrong and she pays the price. and that's the tragedy. not that cas betrayed her, but that he defended himself and killed her.

whereas the winchesters kinda uh. they win. they succeed. in the end, cas is the one apologizing to them. he's the one making it up to them. the narrative frames them as right at every turn. and they're allowed to do a lot more damage to cas than rachel is. like, the biggest damage cas experiencing from that is, well, the grief of her death, and the realization that the people around him will betray him if he's honest with them. the winchesters are actively cruel to him and fuck with him a lot (including threatening and trying to kill him).

so if i'm making a story about season six, the way i will frame rachel is as a tragedy. the way i will frame balthazar is as a tragedy. the way i will frame cas killing all the other angels is as a tragedy. but with the winchesters the biggest tragedy is like. how they treat cas lmao. so if i'm making an amv i'm not going to get maudlin over him betraying them because like, he didn't. not in the same way as he did rachel or balthazar, or even the other angels.

and that's kind of how i feel about every time there is a conflict between dean and the other angels over cas' loyalty: i'm more inclined to portray the angels as tragic because they lost.

like, in stairway to heaven, hannah very much does hand cas an angel blade and tell him to kill dean, in a way that's very like... girl ok escalation much? and in fact is very reminiscent of rachel's angel conflict resolution skills. but the thing is, number one, dean started it by bringing in the blade and (hannah believes, because she has no logical reason not to) killing tessa, and number two... dean wins this one. cas very much does abandon his brethren and do what dean wants him to after this. which is the tragedy. and like it was always going to be, because of hannah's angel conflict resolution skills, but she and the other angels are also the loser there. plus like the whole angel conflict resolution skills thing is, in itself, tragic, because it's because they've never had a chance to learn. so if i put stairway to heaven in an amv dean is probably gonna look like the villain even though in canon it's more like, well, both dean and the angels think that being involved with the other is disloyal and they force cas to choose.

or like, for a better example, naomi. naomi (and her ilk, the leaders of heaven) are just objectively much worse than dean. like tfw may be a cult but heaven as it originally stood and also as it becomes while it's falling apart (see: season eight) is much worse. just in terms of how members of the cult are treated and controlled. but at the same time i do see naomi as kind of a tragic figure because she is keeping order the only way she knows how. again, she loses. dean wins.

so like in amvs, i end up portraying cas choosing dean over the angels as uniformly tragic. but that's not because they're a better choice. rachel and hannah had their hearts in the right place but were just as wrong as dean, and naomi is objectively much worse. the tragedy is that cas is forced to choose at all, or that he's in a situation where he has to lie because no one will understand, or that his relationships are breaking down. but in the end, dean always kinda wins in those scenarios. the other angels always lose. so the sad part is with the other angels.

and like, in fanfiction, i can handle similar topics with grace. there's more room for nuance. but in an amv you have to work with what the show gives you which often isn't much and trust the kuleshov effect to convey your meaning which is a very inexact science. and i don't have a good answer.

[ruinedsam]

3 and 8 for the ask game :)

3. Worst season of Sam?

Season 9. Season 10 is also horrible, but s9 is more vomit inducing for me. I literally can't rewatch any of it because it's just so, so terrible having to watch how the narrative beats on Sam. First he's abused and gaslighted for half a season, but the narrative ignores the (compelling) horror that comes with Sam's perspective and instead makes it about Dean and we're supposed to feel sorry for him because he feels bad. Then when Sam gets his body back, his very, very valid anger and hurt is framed as unreasonable and, again, we're supposed to feel sorry for Dean instead because evil Sam is mad at him for abusing him. There is no space for Sam's perspective, no space for his trauma. To make matters worse, the second half of the season introduces the utterly stupid, lame moc arc that is a copy of the demon blood arc minus literally everything that made it so compelling. Sam is sidelined and we're supposed to feel sorry for Dean for *checks notes* being an angry white man, as if the whole reason for getting the mark wasn't him running away in order to avoid taking responsibility for his abuse of Sam. (And yes, Dean tricking Sam into being possessed by an angel, taking away his bodily autonomy, and then gaslighting him, is abuse.) God I hate it so much, just writing this has made me angry again. To be clear, what I hate about it is the framing. I love Sam and Dean being fucked up and the gadreel arc had a lot of potential if they had only portrayed it as what it is about, the monstrosity of Sam and Dean's love and codependency, instead of framing it as Sam being an ungrateful asshole to poor selfless Dean. This is why Carver is my archnemesis.

8. Your opinion on Sam’s relationship with Dean?

Generally, I love the brother relationship. I mean it is the driving force of the show. I love their codependency, their all-consuming love that may save or destroy the world, i love them being committed platonic life partners, i love how fucked up they are - obviously there's nothing wrong with wanting a wholesome/healthy relationship in media but that's very much not what I want from my horror show. I live for Sam and Dean being weird, it makes me crazy in the best sense! It's so fascinating to me how difficult their relationship is to define because of the breakdown of bounddaries between them. And I don't really have the words to describe how much it means to me personally that spn made the core of the show a platonic relationship that was never once deprioritized in favor of sex/romance, and was always assigned the same level of significance usually only romatic relationships get.

However, I'm not always happy about what spn did with their relationship. Classic spn really did it the best, not only because it has generally the most coherent storytelling and character arcs, but because back then they actually cared about both Sam and Dean and gave both of them narrative space. Going back to what I said before, my issues are with framing. Sam and Dean's relationship got more and more unhealthy, more codependent and enmeshed, but also more volatile as Dean grew more agrressive and Sam grew more passive, and like I said, I don't mind that. I mind how spn frames this as normal and gives Dean all the narrative space while sidelining Sam. In mid seasons it was so bad, it was so chock-full of Dean abusing Sam and the narrative basically saying this is right Sam deserves this :) and I started to despise their relationship. Late seasons made me fall in love with them again, but nothing will ever come close to classic spn samdean.

I want this to end on a positive note because I bitched so much, so I want to say while there are things about Sam's relationship with Dean that strongly bother me in certain seasons, it is really satisfying and lots of fun to engage with and explore their relationship in fandom. And obviously their relationship has a really special place in my heart.

Ask Game Here but do not send me more asks, I should be doing other stuff

[lifblogs]

Arguing for Better Trauma Representation in Media

A/N: All right, y'all, here's my english essay I told you I'd share! WARNINGS for mentions of rape and incest.

TV shows will benefit from portraying trauma according to the modern feminist trauma theory. Some might ask, “Why is proper trauma representation important?” For one, viewers can feel alienated from the texts, and there are even instances of actors feeling alienated from the texts (Chan, p. 1). Furthermore, incorrect representation causes further stigma towards those with trauma and mental illness (Johnson, and Miller, p. 225). Implementing the feminist trauma theory into storytelling will benefit viewers (and therefore writers and networks) and change the stigmatization around those with trauma and mental illness. The dominant trauma theory that is used in literature was theoriorized by Cathy Caruth in the 1980s. This idea of trauma is that it is a one and done event. She has even described it as “unspeakable or unreprepresentable, which means that trauma should be represented in experimental and indirect forms…” (Travers, p. 180). Usually this delegates the story to the metaphysical or the supernatural instead of actually presenting the trauma as is, which is a “...long-standing and problematic tradition in American culture” (Travers, p. 182).. Dominant trauma theory is also phallocentric (tends to focus on the impact of trauma on males), alienating female and minority viewers. The theory that I think TV will benefit from is the feminist trauma theory, which sees trauma as an on-going experience and something that can be represented and spoken of. Women and minority groups tend to be better represented by this theory, but it also includes better representation for men. There is a problem with trauma storytelling in media, and following feminist trauma theory will help with this because writing trauma in a way that makes people feel seen will garner positive attention from audiences, audiences already interact with media content in a way that suggests displeasure, and there has been success with feminist trauma theory in the show Jessica Jones.

It has been a long-running tradition in stories to use trauma as plot devices, so there is benefit to continuing this in a manner that makes people feel seen in order to garner positive attention from audiences. The metaphysical and supernatural are largely used to explore trauma in shows, especially when it comes to sexual asault. Many see trauma as an unspeakable event, and referring to the dominant trauma theory represented in media presented by Cathy Caruth as spoken of above, this is largely how trauma is seen in television. The show Supernatural uses dominant trauma theory to tell its story. In fact, its quite common trope of demonic possession is used as a rape metaphor. To possess a character in the show, demons do not need consent and can enter a character’s body at any point if not protected by a sigil (which, technically, the sigil is a metaphysical way of reclaiming bodily autonomy). Angels within the show do need consent, but that consent does not have to be an enthusiastic yes and it cannot be taken back. The character can be coerced into it, manipulated, and pushed in many ways. Even tricked! The character Sam Winchester has been possessed many times. In season two episode fourteen “Born Under a Bad Sign” Sam Wincester is possessed for the first time, by a demon named Meg. Meg not only uses his body in ways he never would (excessive drinking, smoking), but also uses it to try and assault another character. After Sam is no longer possessed, his brother, Dean, likens it to sexual activity by saying, “Dude, you like full-on had a girl inside you for, like, a whole week” (“Born Under a Bad Sign” 00:41:43 - 00:41:46). Later in the show Sam is possessed by Lucifer, which he was coerced into, and in season nine episode one “I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here” Dean tricks Sam into being possessed by an angel. This is easily likened to rape as Sam had lack of bodily autononmy and choices, and later on it’s even discovered that part of the angel was left inside of Sam: “Wait, you’re saying there’s angelic grace inside of me?” (“First Born” 00:08:40 - 00:08:41). In season nine episode twelve “Sharp Teeth” Sam tells Dean about his situation and Dean, after giving a little laugh, responds to Sam’s confusion by saying, “Nothing. I’m gone for two weeks, and you’re like an episode of Teen Mom” (“Sharp Teeth” 00:04:54 - 00:04:58). Sam’s even had his body switched with someone else, and someone then had sex using his body, and he’s magically been given STIs. To follow Dean’s story, the angel Michael wanted to possess him, and in season five episode one “Sympathy for the Devil” he learns this, and learns of Michael needing his consent. He’s told it’s a “great honor” by the angel Zachariah, to which Dean responds, “Oh, yeah. Yeah, life as an angel condom. That’s real fun” (“Sympathy for the Devil” 00:28:25 - 00:28:30). And in season five episode seven “The Curious Case of Dean Winchester” Dean claims “...and there’s an archangel there wanting me to drop the soap” (“The Curious Case of Dean Winchester” 00:14:22 - 00:14:25). These are just a few examples of the many ways that the metaphysical is used to explore sexual trauma in Supernatural. 

Rape, one form of trauma, has a long history of being present in storytelling. The definition of rape, according to the Meriam-Webster dictionary is “...sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against a person’s will…” (“Rape”). To broaden this definition we can look at what enthusiastic consent is. Enthusiastic consent is a knowledgeable yes that is given of one’s own will without any outside factors forcing the decision upon them. In fiction, a metaphysical loss of ability to consent, can also lead to rape. However, most writers don’t seem to notice this, seeing as Grant Ward is raped in season one episode fifteen of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., “Yes Men.” While this was a rape scene to those who understand the definition of rape, the writers did not seem to notice it themselves. Grant Ward had had his consent overruled by the powers of an Asgardian named Lorelei, and she then has sex with him. This is never discussed in a way that shows Ward’s lack of consent, he even apologizes for “his actions,” which were not of his own doing, there seems to be no other emotional effect, and it is never mentioned again. This is quite a popular mishandled trope in storytelling. In season nine episode three of Supernatural, “I’m No Angel,” the angel Castiel has sex with a woman, and it later turns out that she had lied about who and what she was, and had just used him. She later kills him. This is never discussed as rape, even though Castiel could not give knowledgeable consent, and Castiel is even praised by Dean for losing his virginity. Another example of this that I was surprised to come across was in the movie Ghostbusters: Afterlife. In this movie, the character Callie Spengler is possessed by a demon and has sex with another character who is also possessed by a demon. The movie looks at this purely as sex, and one of the teens in the movie even congratulates her. She was not in control of her body or her decisions and sexual acts were done upon her, making it rape. That scene took a light-hearted movie and made it distasteful and hard to watch. 

Then, there are rape scenes that the writers are fully aware of, such as in Game of Thrones. One of the reasons I’m bringing this show up is because it was incredibly popular before its downfall of season eight. For years, we were seeing rape pretty regularly in popular media. Many unnamed women are raped, but so are key characters such as Daenerys Targaryen, Cersei Lannister, and Sansa Stark. Sansa has an odd reaction to her rape, showing that writers do not understand proper trauma theory or put in a lot of care when writing these kinds of things. In season eight episode four “The Last of the Starks” she claims that her rape made her stronger (“The Last of the Starks”). That is hardly what rape does, and I remember being online and seeing the large outcry from fans about how her rape was handled. There was outcry over the season four rape of Cersei Lannister at the hands of her brother Jaime as well. Many feminists took to discussing it, and came to the conclusion that “The stories we tell about rape, who gets to speak, and which acts can be named are thus of central importance in understanding rape culture” (Ferreday, p. 3). Stories of rape, if handled with care, can be used to bolster the voices of survivors. 

Now, of course, there’s more than just rape as violent actions in media. In pop culture TV we see lots of action: fighting, beating, torture, shooting, and much more. Popular culture including violence generates trauma stories or the potential for trauma stories. We see this in horror cinema, and the literary fantastic (like Game of Thrones). Despite this, shows tend to erase all wounds and scars by the next episode, leaving trauma in a metaphysical state that might not be explored. “Cuts, bruises, and breaks are usually healed and forgotten by the next episode, while magical deaths are soon reversed” (Chan, p. 1). Trauma is also ignored in lieu of a grander storyline. Oftentimes Sam Winchester’s trauma was not brought up unless it added to furthering the plot, or to even be made fun of (trauma is not the butt of a joke). The plot is oftentimes favored over character study. Due to all this, popular media has created negative stigmas surrounding mental health and trauma. Trauma is often used as a gateway to psychopathy and antagonism. Traumatized female villains tend to be represented as sympathetic and simply victims of what happened to them. Their trauma is seen as what made them snap. (Johnson, and Miller, p. 212). On the other hand, traumatized male villains are often seen as horribly irredeemable (Johnson, and Miller, p. 219). According to Ferreday, the writer of “Game of Thrones, Rape Culture and Feminist Fandom,”

Continued exposure to erroneous and stereotypical depictions can negatively influence public perceptions about mental illness, those suffering from mental illness, and mental health treatment. Indeed, a growing body of evidence suggests that exposure to such negative representations predicts negative attitudes toward mental illness and those who suffer from it (Ferreday, p. 225)

With PTSD listed as a mental illness, trauma depictions clearly influence the public perception, and these erroneous ways of writing trauma have an impact on the viewers. Creating a better perception is all about taking care in the ways of how trauma is written. If these stories with trauma are to continue, there would be great benefit to them being written respectfully.

Now, one might ask, “How do you know audiences are upset?” Well, audiences interact, and have been interacting, with media content in a way that suggests displeasure with the current mode of storytelling TV shows follow. They don’t just do this through tweets, or blog posts, or angry rants wherever they can put them (I’ve even seen them in the comments of Instagram posts). They do it through fanfiction. Fanfiction is a non-canonical story derived from a canonical story, and is written by a fan. These stories could be as long as two million words, or as short as one hundred words. Popular fanfiction explores trauma that shows often ignore. With Supernatural “...many fan writers give Sam and Dean bodies of consequences, bodies that bear the scars of the past and that also exercise proactive agency…” (Chan, p. 2). Chan herself has explored many fan writings, and in her journal article it can be seen that fans find there is much to be desired. There are fanfictions that explore potential trauma, traumas that were forgotten by the show, and even how it is an on-going event which characters are affected by. Personally, I have seen dropped trauma plotlines in TV shows and have written deeper about them in the realm of fanfiction. I have seen others do this as well, particularly with Supernatural. I have read fan written essays about Sam’s trauma and the ways the show ignores it. With my writing, I was able to connect with a great number of fans–a few thousand, in fact–and share our wish for better trauma depiction in media. This interaction with media is happening as I type this, and it will continue happening. Fanfiction is a way for certain audience members to explore and express their displeasure with trauma story-telling in TV.

Feminist trauma theory provides a respectful model for telling these stories that do have value, and there has been success with this model. I’ve mostly discussed the ways in which stories are written with the dominant trauma theory, or ways in which they are handled poorly. So what would feminist trauma theory in media look like? To answer that question we have to take a look at the show Jessica Jones. Season one of Jessica Jones follows the character Jessica Jones and her goal to take down her abuser, Kilgrave. Previous to season one Jessica was Kilgrave’s sex slave for a year; his powers allowed him to control her with his voice. We are shown this past story through flashbacks, and other PTSD symptoms that Jessica has. Instead of sensationalizing rape scenes or using them for shock value as is often seen in Game of Thrones, Jessica Jones shows the after-effects, the PTSD, which is part of feminist trauma theory where trauma is an on-going event. The great difference between Supernatural and Jessica Jones when it comes to handling rape and trauma is that one is a one-and-done affair explored in the metaphysical realm, often used for plot and focuses on the suffering of men while the other focuses on trauma as something that happened and continues in a woman’s life through flashbacks and other unpleasant symptoms and behaviors. To discuss the differences, we need to think once again of Supernatural’s use of demonic possession as a rape allegory. There is almost never “real” rape in the show except for when it comes to Sam Winchester. However, Sam Winchester’s physical rape between seasons five and six by the Devil is left so vague that some fans–despite what actors have said–still argue that Sam Winchester was not raped by Lucifer at all. He’s also been raped by his girlfriend Ruby in season four, except that is left vague as well. And, poor Sam, is raped again in season twelve. Adding this to the numerous counts of possession, and other supernatural events of lack of bodily autonomy (one of the main themes of Supernatural, one could argue), it seems like the writers can’t even find a proper focus for it, either in the physical or metaphysical realm. Jessica Jones makes it incredibly clear that Jessica was raped by Kilgrave, and lets the viewers know that that is exactly what season one is dealing with. Jessica doesn’t just have flashbacks, or have Kilgrave taunting and mocking her. We see her drinking, having nightmares, avoiding sleep, and partaking in reckless and risky behavior. After what happened, she doesn’t have much care for herself. An interesting thing about Jessica Jones, is that “...the series unusually employs the supernatural to debunk traditional perceptions of rape by representing the perpetrator as literally tainted rather than the victim” (Travers, p. 189). Supernatural does the opposite of this. Sam has been called an “abomination” and Sam and Dean are often described as dirty or tainted for what they’ve been through. Jessica Jones subverts this by putting the blame on the perpetrator. Jessica Jones’ use of flashbacks as a mode of storytelling follow feminist trauma theory, and with what is happening in her current life in the season, they tie together to make an interesting story. Is this important? Well, critics think so. “Rosenberg’s series has received critical acclaim, with critics commending Jessica Jones’ engagement with difficult topics including rape, domestic violence, and the resulting trauma effects of those experiences…” (Travers, p. 178). The show went on to run for two more seasons, with season one still being its most powerful. Clearly, there has been success with TV writing following the feminist trauma theory, which means there can be success in the future.

With all this violence and potential for trauma story-telling in the media, many see it as “torture porn,” a term coined by critic David Edelstein in 2006 with his review of the Saw franchise, and Hostel (Hallam, pp. 229-230). “The term torture porn was meant by Edelstein to be derisive, as he finds these films ‘viciously nihilistic’” (Hallam, p. 230). In this case, the name speaks for itself. Some see these trauma depictions as glorification of violence, as violence being used to grossly entertain, of there being too much of this in media. Essentially, torture porn can be described as the graphic depiction of violence in the horror genre or in trauma story-telling. One view, according to Lindsay Hallam is, 

...horror cinema revolves around the experiences of fear, terror and trauma, these experiences are aroused for the purposes of pleasure and entertainment. This genre does not exist in order to heal past wounds, it exists in order to create them, and to then parade these wounds in extreme close-up (Hallam, p. 228).

So, it can be said that torture porn has often been used to shock audiences. That’s no lie. Just look at how popular and prosperous horror movies are! “Graphic violence is used in order to heighten the engagement with reality and with the experience of trauma” (Hallam, p. 234). This is true. Action and violence are used to draw audiences and get them excited. However, there is value in the stories that we tell, and value in trauma story-telling. According to Hallam there is also a “...long held notion that horror can have a cathartic effect” (Hallam, p. 234), and “...young audience members are using torture porn as a form of relase, of acting out” (Hallam pp. 234-235). To look at it in this lens of release and catharsis and acting out, we must take the Levianasian approach: “Nothing is nobler than exposing man’s misery” (Lewis, pp. 83-84). What this means is that the stories that are told are of great importance. It is important to share trauma within stories. Trauma story-telling (if not phallocentric) often includes representation of minorities, and it is important for minority groups to see themselves represented in media. However, there are problems with the popular depiction of trauma as discussed above: there is a dominance of white men and greater focus on their stories in media, and women’s trauma is often used to further the story of a man. Though within trauma depictions we can find representation of minorities, and audiences are a large mix of different types of people. Each and every person approaches a show differently due to their backgrounds, and they are looking for their stories. Trauma story-telling can give them that. These stories are vitally important. Trauma story-telling–particularly stories involving rape–is also a way for women to break their silence about rape, or to bring more awareness to the topic. These stories have their value, and they have found their place in television; calling them “torture porn” is simple disrespect.

A lesser argument that might be more popular in the showrunning business is that there isn’t marketability in the feminist trauma theory. Emphasizing beauty draws in more viewers and makes the show more marketable. Fans are naturally drawn in by the pleasing aesthetic of beautiful people. Networks tend to emphasize beauty in their cast, which leaves no room for physical marks of trauma on the bodies that feminst trauma theory would call for. “The show [Supernatural] resolves the tension between marketability and story-telling by making scars disappear and wounds invisible” (Chan, p. 2). This simply ignores and erases given trauma. Jessica Jones was able to emphasize trauma throughout season one, and it remained a marketable show, going on to run for two more seasons. Fanfiction also suggests that audiences would be just fine if physical marks of trauma remained, and if trauma was seen as an ongoing event. There is more marketability in shows following the feminist trauma theory than one may realize.

In conclusion, shows should take more time and care to share characters’ stories of trauma. Trauma has long been used as a plot device in storytelling and is still being used. That says something significant about humanity and the stories we wish to tell. Audiences wish for a change in the stories they are provided, their interactions with media showing they want better representation of trauma. Why not give that to them? Feminist trauma theory provides an excellent model for respectfully telling stories about trauma–the stories that audiences wish for. And, despite the use of the term “torture porn” there is value to the stories that we tell, and the stories that we tell about trauma. There is marketability there as well, with Jessica Jones proving so. Future shows and writers will benefit from following feminist trauma theory in their writing.

Works Cited

“Born Under a Bad Sign.” Supernatural. Written by Cathryn Humphris, season 2, episode 14, The CW, 2007.

Chan, Suzette. “Supernatural Bodies: Writing Subjugation and Resistance Onto Sam and Dean Winchester.” Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4, Organization for Transformative Works. 2010. https://journal.transformativeworks.org/index.php/twc/article/download/179/160?inline=1

“First Born.” Supernatural. Written by Robbie Thompson, season 9, episode 11, The CW, 2014.

Ferreday, Debra. “Game of Thrones, Rape Culture and Feminist Fandom.” Australian Feminist Studies, Vol. 30, Issue 83, Routledge. March 2015. https://eds-p-ebscohost-com.ezproxy.snhu.edu/eds/detail/detail?vid=3&sid=3d898748-4e81-4eb8-9e41-67e59b839df3%40redis&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWRzLWxpdmUmc2NvcGU9c2l0ZQ%3d%3d#AN=102319737&db=sih

Hallam, Lindsay. “Genre Cinema as Trauma Cinema: Post 9/11 Trauma and the Rise of 'Torture Porn' in Recent Horror Films.” In Trama, Media, Art: New Perspectives, ed. Mick Broderick and Antonio Traverso, 228-236. Newcastle upon Tyne, UK: Cambridge Scholars Publishing. 2010. https://eds-p-ebscohost-com.ezproxy.snhu.edu/eds/detail/detail?vid=3&sid=4004a8ad-dc19-46c2-8d6c-7880805d75b9%40redis&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWRzLWxpdmUmc2NvcGU9c2l0ZQ%3d%3d#AN=539916&db=nlebk

“I’m No Angel.” Supernatural. Written by Brad Buckner, and Eugenie Ross-Leming, season 9, episode 3, The CW, 2013.

“I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here.” Supernatural. Written by Jeremy Carver, season 9, episode 1, The Cw, 2013.

Lewis, R. The Velvet Light Trap, pp. 83-84. 2007.

Quintero, Jessie M, Miller, Bonnie. “When Women ‘Snap’: The Use of Mental Illness to Contextualize Women’s Acts of Violence in Contemporary Popular Media.” Women’s Studies in Communication, Vol 39, No 2., Communication Department, University of Massachusetts Boston. 2016. https://eds-p-ebscohost-com.ezproxy.snhu.edu/eds/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=4&sid=e123fb90-8ba6-4a07-821f-e362f6688429%40redis

“Rape.” Merriam-Webster. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/rape

“Sharp Teeth.” Supernatural. Written by Adam Glass, season 9, episode 12, The CW, 2014.

“Sympathy for the Devil.” Supernatural. Written by Eric Kripke, season 5, episode 1, The CW, 2009.

“The Curious Case of Dean Winchester.” Supernatural. Written by Sera Gamble, and Jenny Klein, season 5, episode 7, The CW, 2009.

“The Last of the Starks.” Game of Thrones. Written by David Benioff, and D.B. Weiss, season 8, episode 4, HBO, 2019.

Travers, Sean. “‘Just Jessica Jones’: Challenging Trauma Representation and New Trauma Metaphors in Melissa Rosenberg’s Jessica Jones.” Popular Culture Studies Journal, Volume 9, Issue 2, Popular Culture Association. 2021. https://mpcaaca.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/R1-Travers-Jessica-Jones-1.pdf

“Yes Men.” Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Written by Shalisha Francis, season 1, episode 15, ABC, 2014.

[roublardise]

Rowena’s attraction to men & heteronormativity

for @sapphicnaturalrights - day 7 - Free space

Come the end of s14 and the beginning of s15, I’ve been taken aback by the scene of Rowena and Gabriel, and the whole Ketch thing. I couldn’t really pinpoint what was bothering me in them until I started talking more about the representation of sexualities in spn (notably in my gay crowley post), which lead me to think about the sapphics. It hit me then: why I could never get behind the way the fandom seems to have accepted bi Rowena as canon is because the way the show portrays her attraction to men is lesbophobic.

disclaimer: I’m not saying that bi Rowena hcs are lesbophobic per se! It’s about the narrative here, as well as why lesbian Rowena hc is important to me personnally.

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Men as enemies

In her very first scene she has nailed two men on the ceiling, and she’s drinking tea. She’s introduced as a powerful woman for which the life of men doesn’t matter. In her second episode, she keeps targeting men and specifically pimps. Besides the whole… Rowena recruiting vulnerable women in the same way these men did, which is fucked up and I won’t even come near that. This episodes talks about sex trade, and it’s portrayed as smth so evil even demons (whose morality is represented by Crowley) won’t get involved in. All in all, these men deserved to die, and every one of them was killed by a woman. Rowena not only saves these women, but she offers them a fancy dinner and to teach them magic. They took a topic about men’s control on women, and made it about reappropriating your power.

Even though spn has shown magic wasn’t a woman-only thing, Rowena’s arc still makes it so. The Grand Coven is all about other women, every witch she knows are women, the people she wants to recruit are women. Witches are a woman-only place, in which they learn to hurt men. And it’s emphasized by the way they relate the Grand Coven with the Men of Letters! The MoL are a symbol of patriarchy, and they are the ones who burnt the witches and stole their work. Rowena’s target isn’t Dean per se, it’s Men of Letters. It’s men as a class. And that’s what makes her threatening, it’s an inherent part of her character. She goes against the idea of a mother (against the fake image of the mother portrayed with Mary’s memory), by only caring for Crowley for his position of power. She’s manipulative, and she uses her womanhood to do so. Either to relate to other women and convince them to join her, or by using her motherhood to trick demons to do what she pleases. She fits perfectly the “evil manipulative unloving woman” trope by the way men are explicitly her enemies, and the way she twists her womanhood to make it a tool against men.

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Not like other girls

In parallel, the way Rowena interacts with women is quite different. We can notice that everytime she shows some care or gives some help, it’s towards women. Though this care is limited: she still manipulates her cellmate, and uses women as weapons when it comes to it, though it wasn’t her first intention. While trying to recruit women, Rowena wants to create her own Coven, having to resort to teaching non-witches as she’s not on good terms with the other witches - and as such, she’s not on good terms with other “regular” women. What we know very quickly about Rowena is that she’s been kicked out of the Grand Coven, the big witch club, because she was “too powerful” and a threat to them. She’s disturbing gender in the way she doesn’t align herself with its expectations. She also doesn’t seem to have friends or any witch on her side - she’s alone. She doesn’t fit with the others, she's being excluded from and by them, thus making her different.

And the main show for that is the way she interacts with Charlie. She’s one of the first characters Rowena speaks to as an equal, and without trying to get anything from her. They argue, but when Rowena gives her speech (that I’ll come back to) about how they’re similar, it’s not in order to manipulate Charlie into doing something for her. What does she have to gain in preventing Charlie from working? It’s not her motivation here, though we’ve learned that Rowena does everything for her main goal - what is she achieving here? While Rowena insults Cas and Sam, and wants to kill Dean and Crowley, she merely argues with Charlie, suggesting conversations longer than any other she had before in the season. These scenes are Rowena honestly relating to Charlie, as she’s never done with anyone yet, and (imo) flirting with her.

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On sexuality

When Rowena is introduced in s10, her sexual attraction is first a non subject. We learn she’s Crowley’s mother and this doesn’t really raise the question of Crowley’s other parent (in the same way Crowley’s son never raises the question of his other parent, which participates in making Crowley canonically gay). This goes further this time though, as Crowley states, during his “Rowena was a bad mother” tirade that he “didn’t even have a father!”. It’s not the way it’s un-said which goes and puts a distance between Rowena and men, it’s the clear fact she was raising a son without a man. She gives an off-handed explanation for that, talking about an orgy. Now, that’s super interesting for multiple reasons:

First, it’s the first time Rowena’s sexuality is acknowledged, and it’s in a dialogue which is actively distancing her from close relationships with men. The orgy choice participates in her figure of an evil woman, and the whole imagery around witches and living in a nonconventional way. Not only did Rowena not raise Crowley with a father, but she’s having a kind of sex that adds to her image of a bad mother, a kind of sex which is frowned upon. Secondly, Spn has been using group sex has a way to imply same-gender sex at multiple occassions, which lead me to assume the orgy (which already refers to an image of “all gender” sex) included women. If I connect the dots here, I’m gonna assume Rowena had sex with multiple women (gn). And if men were involved, it was in such a no-string attached way that Rowena didn’t want to acknowledge or inform the potential “father”.

The first time Rowena shows some kind of attraction towards someone, it’s with Lucifer in s11. Once Crowley realizes Rowena’s working with him, he says:

So you're just gonna let the big strong man boss you around? Whatever happened to the super-duper awesome coven #girlpower?

This line puts Rowena once again as a “feminist” figure, #girlboss, who doesn’t need a man. It comes as a surprise to Crowley that Rowena would put herself in such a situation with a man, because she’s been actively keeping a distance with them in her life. Crowley’s surprised Rowena isn’t into her “girl group” anymore. And though it’s likely it was more intended as a fake-woke dialogue, typical of 2015s, it reasserts the gender dynamic of witches and the way Rowena’s never shown interest in men. To which Rowena replies:

Lucifer is no man. He’s perfection.

She doesn’t think of Lucifer as a man, she sees him as the devil, a being with great power who can help her rise to Heaven’s throne - to more power. She wants to be in his good graces, in the same way she later on wants to be on Amara’s side. .

And love

It’s in late season 10 that the topic of Rowena’s love gets explored more. We’ve known she doesn’t love Crowley, and she bursts into laughter when she reads she needs to kill something she loves for a spell. I love that plot, because she doesn’t even need someone she loves, but something. I always say, when Spn wants us to know a character is attracted to the expected gender, it easily finds a way to make it so. Here, it was the perfect opportunity to bring out some man Rowena had known in all these centuries. And yet, what she loves is a young man she’s known as a boy. The way she’s excluded from a romantic plot can be read as aro-coding. It adds to the trope she’s fitting, of the “unloving powerful man-hater woman”. What Rowena does love, in the end, is family and kindness. And though she loves Oskar, she still goes through and kills him, thus loving her freedom and power more than him.

This plot isn’t used to “reconnect” her with a more accepted motherhood. Indeed, it’s interesting to me the way she refers to herself as Oskar’s aunt. She’s not a mother figure to him, she’s an aunt. She wasn’t a good mother to Crowley not because it was Crowley, she wasn’t a good mother because she doesn’t fit the mother role. Personally, I also associate the “aunt” with this image of the lone aunt, always doing whatever wherever. Once again, it asserts an image of Rowena as someone without romantic relationships.

The aro and lesbian coding overlaps as a lot of writing lesbians characters goes through not showing romantic interest towards men, in a way where it’s a non-topic. I do believe reading Rowena as aro is fair as well, I don’t want to erase that in this post.

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Loving men as redemption

In s11, Rowena is back trying to recruit witches, and she’s still being distant towards men. It’s by s12 that we can notice a more important shift in her character. She’s not as much of a villain figure anymore, after the whole Chuck-Amara-end-of-the-world thing, she reasserts what’s important to her and how to get it. I like this quote from the wiki:

She becomes desperate for a normal life, having grown tired of the supernatural world and goes as far as to seek out romance.

I don’t really see it that way, but the wording here is a good representation of what’s happening and how heteronormativity is impacting Rowena’s character. In spn, a “normal life” always implies a heterosexual life, and that’s what we see here. Rowena starts to go on dates with men, and though she’s always using them, keeping her manipulative side but topping it with a gold-digger trope, it’s still some attention towards men she’s never shown before. I wouldn’t say she’s “seeking out romance”, I don’t think that’s how it was intended (she’s still seeing love as a weakness by then) but I do believe it’s not a coïncidence if, as Rowena is leaving the villain role, she’s shown interacting with men in a more personal way.

Rowena’s view of love is given some explanation in s12 during a conversation with Crowley. To me, it’s one of the main examples of how Rowena’s character has shifted, because we’re given another story about Crowley’s “father”. Spn isn’t known for its consistency, but it’s telling how by wanting to humanize Rowena in this scene, they make her… attracted to men. The way the orgy story got dropped and forgotten just makes it even more queer, and a stronger evidence towards Rowena’s original aro/lesbian coding.

In this new backstory, we learn that Rowena not only did know with whom Crowley was conceived, but she also loved him. She loved and was abandoned, broken hearted, and since then has decided love was weakness. Rowena’s distance and disinterest for men has felt the need to be justified, and this justification is the good-old “she’s been hurt by men” as if lesbianism (and/or being aro) could only happen after heterosexuality was tried and rejected. We’re told that before everything, before being a powerful witch, Rowena was a “normal” woman, in love with a man. That’s the story we’re told in this important and iconic dialogue where we get to go deeper into Rowena and Crowley’s relationship. And this story is merely heteronormativity erasing two seasons of character development and lesbian coding.

Thankfully, Rowena doesn’t go back to this “old self” afterwards. It’s only in late s14 that she shows some interest towards men again, with Gabriel, who once again isn’t really a man but an archangel. But then comes early s15. For one Buckleming episode, Rowena is suddenly enamored with Ketch. This happens right before she sacrifices herself, putting the safety of others before her own life, emphasizing how much she’s trying to do better, to be better. And by that point, Rowena isn’t a villain at all anymore, which seems to make her open to loving men romantically. This thing with Ketch is the only time we see Rowena loving a man. What was that, if not sexist writing? If not an (unconscious) bias to portray Rowena as part of the good team? If not some kind of last gift, to finally allow her to have her redemption and a “normal” romance?

I really can’t take her infatuation with Ketch seriously when this isn’t even acknowledged after this sole episode. In the end, Rowena gets her throne, and she gets it alone.

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Lesbian Rowena

So, it’s pretty clear by now I believe Rowena has been actively written as non-attracted to men from the start, and this “attraction” only starts to show up as she got on the “good” side. First by implied sexual attraction (Gabriel), then by romantic one (Ketch). By around the same time, Rowena is partly allowed to love women as well. The only implied long-term relationship we learn about is the one with AU!Charlie. It’s done through a line which has been cut, not even going all the way to (re)assert Rowena as sapphic.

Thankfully for the sapphic rights, Rowena has been made canonically sapphic in s10! When talking to Charlie, Rowena is trying to make her see how they’re not so different. She starts listing, “absent parents”, “always outside the mainstream”, and “sexually progressive.” These words make clear that Rowena isn’t straight, but their meaning goes further. I respect seeing it as ambiguous enough to still make bi Rowena work. However, in the context of s10 described above, I can’t understand it as anything than an euphemism to say “lesbian.” Spn has never said “bisexual”, nor “lesbian”, even for Charlie. The canonisation goes through “he’s not my type. as in, he’s not a girl”, it goes through Claire being called “biker barbie” and only caring for men in a familial way. It goes by making Rowena call herself an aunt, a figure associated with lesbianism as well. It goes by telling a lesbian character that they’re the same, specifically when it comes to sexual orientation.

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When I started writing this post, I didn't mean to make a "lesbian Rowena" case. I originally wanted to expand on the way her "attraction to men" only starts showing up as she becomes "good", and the inherent lesbophobia in that. I wanted to put some light in how bi Rowena seems to be consider canon by so much of the fandom, when there isn't a lot to go with when it comes to her attraction to men.

However, as it went, I just kept finding new things, especially in s10, convincing me that Rowena had been introduced (intentionally or not) as an aro lesbian character.

Still, I'm not saying bi (or other) hc are lesbophobic. I simply wish we would put more thoughts into how heteronormativity shapes the way queer characters are written, as well as the way we read and understand these characters. The more time I spend in fandom spaces, the more I realize how much homophobia there still is to deconstruct. Let's ask ourselves: What was the basis for bi Rowena, before Ketch? Why so little lesbian Rowena?

For more thoughts around these questions, I recommend to read my gay Crowley post, in which I talk more about the unconscious biases of reading characters as bi, pan, or gay.

[kirathehyrulian]

🎨SPN RB 2020🎨 👿Little Devil👿 Art Master Post

[• Tumblr •][• LiveJournal •][• 2020 Masterlist •]

Artist: @kirathehyrulian | LiveJournal | Ao3

Author: @hitthebooksposts | LiveJournal | Ao3 | Storylink: Ao3 Pairing: Gencest Fic Rating: General Audiences Warnings: None Word Count: 3200 Summary: For once, it looks like Dean and Sam have the chance of living like normal kids for a while. Stay in one place. Go to school. Have friends. But of course, that's not how it turns out.

For more art from me please check out my “myart” tag here on Tumblr.   👇(Artist Notes and spoilers below the cut) 👇

Artist Notes:

Oh gowd, I feel so tired right now. I just finished the second illustration this morning. I pulled an all-nighter trying to get it done and my (brain? body?) is not too happy with me.

I had just finshed all my eldritches about a week or so ago. It was a lot of art, and right after SPN Eldritch was over with I started working on “Little Devil’s” title card. What sucks is that I was battling art block after Eldritch, so it was extra hard trying to motivate myself to get the drawings out.

I don’t know if the time crunched helped or not. I do know that a main motivator for my art was knowing that my author relied on me for art. So I pushed through as best I could so I could give my author something.

I guess I should talk about the RB image that inspired the fic. The RB image is the image directly below the title card. This was my art preview description: Title of prompt: ...Dean Rating of Art: Teen Highest Rating Fic Can Be: Explicit Pairing or Gen: Wincest or Gencest Characters: Has to have Sam and Dean Warnings: Blood Short description of art: Sad, young, demon!sam crying on the floor of his room and bleeding from the new horns on his head. Wings have bursted from his hoodie and he has a tail wrapped around his leg. Sam is calling out to Dean, whether for help or mercy is up to the author. Dean's shadow is on the floor, and his reflection is in the mirror. Do Not Wants: scat, separation of brothers, character bashing, destiel Artist is willing to make more pieces to go with the story: No, unless inspiration and time permits.

When going into the RB I didn’t have a lot of ideas, so I just combined and drew themes that interest me, which is Sam angst, Sam’s demon blood, hurt!sam, and the brother’s dynamic. I was in the mood for eldritch at the time so I tried to make the image reminiscent of a horror scenario. It’s night time. The main light is the glow from a TV. Sam’s bleeding and has a expression of sad horror on his face. His body is posed in a vulnerable child like position of helplessness. His eyes glow yellow in the dark. There’s a sinister red light in behind the door. The house has old muted wall paper, and there’s a shadow of Dean’ silhouette stretched across the carpet and reflected in the mirror in the background.

The title card and second illustration center around Sam hiding in the janitor closet at the middle school in the story. I tried to make weechesters actually look like Jared and Jensen, because in my mind’s eye that’s what young Sam and Dean really look like, not really the child actors that portrayed them.  I think I did okay enough. The more I do it, I’m hoping the better I’ll get at making weechesters in enough time.

I didn’t really listen to anything specific while drawing this collection, so I don’t have any musical inspiration to share. I can’t really think of anything else to add, so I think I’m done.

And, as always,

Enjoy, if you can!♥

[aliusfrater]

im watching 14.02 rn and i got to the scene at the end where jack says that when it really comes down to it and there are no options left, sam (and cas) has to make a choice between whether or not dean's life can be saved. i went looking for the scene in s5 where sam says something similar but about lucifer because hearing jack say that literally sounded like an echo (there isn't a scene that's as explicit as jack's, mainly because 1) sam had a choice when it came to letting lucifer in, 2) he had already resigned his life within this apocalypse and had already been really reckless about his life ever since dean died, and 3) there was no initial third party 'saving' plan) but while skimming through the last four or so episodes of season five after dragging my way through the later seasons again for the past couple weeks, there is a degree of growth that dean has in s5 relating to his role as the patrirchal figure and his relationship with sam ("you're gonna let me say yes to lucifer?" / "no, see that's the thing. i can't let you do anything [...] and maybe it's time i grow up too.") that's seemed to have devolved overtime in the later seasons.

and while yeah, this points to the simple fact that the show was supposed to end at the end of that season and that this conversation basically complete's dean's intended character arc to some degree but i'd also like to think about the idea that the trauma dean (and sam) receive in the following years and how they reinforce/gradually negate dean back into the role of the patriarch within the narrative structure of the show. and i'm adding dean's time with lisa to this -- his time with lisa, within an explicitly nuclear family does nothing but reinforce within dean the idea of this position as well as the responsibility of raising an actual child compared to his brother.

it's so tragic to think about it this way because the beginning of season five has dean explicitly (or trying to) reject his patriarchal role within the narrative; he gets away from sam and he enjoys the lack of responsibility and he enjoys the fact that he is no longer the patriarch and we know he's no longer the patriarch because that episode is the most omniscient (between sam and dean (cas gets negated to 'little brother' status as dean struggles to completely cut himself off from his responsibility cold turkey)) since perhaps season one. sam's explicit violation of autonomy is one that is so wholly and thoroughly portrayed as such, which is a vast difference from how it's usually portrayed when it comes to his perceived nature (relating to the demon blood) and hunting. much like the overall story itself, dean almost made it out. he had the potential to heal and to break down the patriarchal structure but this too was interrupted by a further violation of sam's body when he was raised out of hell, much like it has begun with the violation of sam's body

[seven-oomen]

Daddy’s little soldier trope | The parallel between Dean Winchester and Chris Argent

One of the tropes that became increasingly popular with the shows Supernatural and Teen Wolf is known in fandom as Daddy’s little soldier. This is a trope that usually features a son, who has been emotionally and/or physically abused and/or groomed by a father figure in order to carry out their legacy. However misguided that legacy may be.

The two most well known fictional characters for this trope, as far as I’m aware, are Dean Winchester (Supernatural, air date in 2005) and Chris Argent (Teen Wolf, air date in 2011) and this little piece of meta I will be drawing the parallels between these character and how they’ve grown over the years.

Let’s start with the Supernatural side. For the people that don’t know him, this is Dean Winchester.

When we first meet Dean it’s in the Pilot episode of Supernatural where he is portrayed as a confident, suave, and sassy hunter who drops by on his little brother’s doorstep because their father has gone missing and he needs his help. However, as the season progresses it becomes increasingly clear that Dean is far more complicated than what he appears to be.

Beneath all the confidence and sass lies a young man who’s increasingly taken out of his comfort zone while trying to keep his crumbling family together. Dean is shown as compassionate, insecure, and completely under the influence of his father’s will. Carrying out John Winchester’s wishes and commands even if that doesn’t benefit him and even endangers him. 

There’s also evidence throughout the show of emotional neglect, manipulation, and one could even go as far as to say Dean was brain washed into being Daddy’s little soldier. Following John Winchester’s every command as that who Dean was trained to be from a young age.

The show even draws the comparison that on occasions that Dean didn’t follow John’s command, he passively endangers his little brother and angers his father. (The episode where Sam is almost killed by a Shtriga after Dean leaves the motel room to go to the lobby/arcade.) When Dean returns to the motel room and learns that Sammy was attacked and almost had the life drained out of him, John yells at him and blames him for the attack. Even though Dean, was most likely (judging by the actor), around 8-12 years old.

This was one of the forming incidents for Dean to obey his father’s wishes, no matter the consequences. Because his father convinced him if he didn’t, people, and especially Sam, would get hurt.

Throughout the next few seasons we then see Dean within this role as Daddy’s little soldier, carrying out hunts for his father and uncovering more and more truths about who his father was along the way.  While also trying to keep his family from falling apart and keeping his younger brother as safe as he can. 

Dean is shown as a character that doesn’t seem to care about his own safety and who will sacrifice himself for his father or brother, without any questions asked. By all accounts, he sees himself as the expendable soldier he was raised to be.

It is only after their father has died by the means of a demon deal in Season 2,  and after learning of God and Angels and their heavenly war, that Dean finally starts to question everything he’s been taught. Although he doesn’t fully break away from his programming until later seasons where he truly tries to live life as he’s always wanted. Even though he eventually does return to hunting and the hunters life, he’s far more nuanced in his view regarding the supernatural due to everything he’s learned.

-

Now let’s have a look at Chris Argent, who first appeared in the pilot episode of Teen Wolf; Wolf Moon.

Chris Argent is a human hunter who was born into the Argent family of hunters. When we first meet him he’s depicted as a ruthless hunter who follows the hunter code: “We hunt those, who hunt us.” to the letter. He is shown as a smart, strong, and deadly hunter, who’s intimidation tactics leave a lot to be desired. (I honestly didn’t think one could threateningly wash a car or pick up a dessert, and that remains to be debated, but it was very funny to watch.) 

His devotion to the code is practically drilled into him from a young age by his father (and presumably mother), even if his father himself didn’t really stick to the code and used it more as a guideline.

Chris was raised as a soldier by his father, a fact that he makes abundantly clear on multiple occasions by stating; Our men are raised as soldiers, our women are raised as leaders. As far as Chris is concerned in the early seasons, that is all he is. A soldier raised for war.

Chris in the beginning obeys his father’s every command even if that may endanger him and doesn’t question it. As is evidenced when his father sends him off on an arms deal at the age of 18, without telling Chris that he’s dealing with the Japanese Maffia. This eventually leads to a situation where Chris ends up killing an Oni demon and barely escaping with his life.

After the incident Chris continues hunting and working for his father and eventually marries and has a daughter. Although he chooses not to raise his daughter in the life he was raised in. Effectively breaking the cycle of abuse. (At first, his daughter does end up hunting later in life, an event which eventually causes her death. Although Chris is generally not abusive but protective in the way that he trains Allison.)

His daughter Allison, and his father and sister’s disregard for the hunter’s code when it inconveniences them, is eventually what makes him see reason. And he adopts his daughter's code: “We protect those who cannot protect themselves.” as a result.

There are several instances in the first three seasons where we see the illusion of Chris’s little soldier image breaking. The first is when his wife is bitten and turned, and Chris begs his father to make an exception to the code. His father reminds him that they can’t, but Chris keeps protesting.

It is his wife, who has to step in and remind Chris that he is a soldier and he has to fall back in line. (So to speak.)

The other instances where his resolve and image break are when he finally learns the truth about his sister and father and what crimes they committed according to the hunter’s code. It is this disillusionment and the positive influence of his daughter and her friends that allows him to break free of the daddy’s little soldier ideal.

-

The parallels between these two characters are very clear. Both of them have been raised in a hunters life from a young age, receiving weapons training, learning supernatural lore, being emotionally groomed and manipulated by their fathers, while trying to protect a younger sibling.

Both of these characters also lost most of their family, be it by blood or found family, due to the lifestyle they were raised in. Chris’s wife and daughter are killed by Supernatural creatures, his sister turned into one by another. His sister then in turn kills their father by mauling him to death. Dean’s daughter (who was groomed by her Amazon mother to kill her father), surrogate father, parents, and other extended family like Charlie and Kevin, are also killed by the Supernatural.

Both of them also rose above who they were trained to be for a time, only to return to hunting in the later seasons.

The biggest difference between these two characters, is that one rose above his programming and re-found love and family, even going as far as to protect the supernatural from human threats (Chris), and the other eventually died a tragic death on a hunt started by his father 15 years earlier in the series finale (Dean).

-

I think for many of us the Daddy’s little soldier trope is very appealing. Mostly because it deals with children of neglect or abuse backgrounds breaking free from the influences of their parents and, usually, coming out on top.

Tagging a few people who might find it interesting below the cut.

@mostly-vo1d​ @veronicasummersfelton​ @msmischief101​ @gum-believable​ @fandoms-fiend​

[deadendtracks]

Re soulless Sam: he's scary! And there's something deeply upsetting about the vampire episode especially given that vampires are parallels/allegories for sexual exploitation and violence in spn. Unfortunately, fandom attitude is very much that Sam is this perfect victim figure and that soulless Sam's actions are Not Sam, which both completely flattens him and also ignores this frightening cruelty that Sam is capable of (even when he's souled you can see it). I can see how upsetting it would be to try and have a good faith discussion about soulless Sam and his actions

Yeah, that episode is definitely disturbing on a number of levels, and the season does a good job of portraying Dean's being at the very least unnerved by Soulless Sam, even as it sort of undermines the idea that he might be justified to feel that way, which is something a lot of the fandom then ran with, as if Dean's fear was unreasonable or proves he's always thought the worst of his brother.

There was always this idea that none of Sam's behavior (souled or unsouled) was ever questionable in any way, that Dean just is mean and suspicious and unforgiving by nature or whatever (I am simplifying this). In s6 Dean is in the position where whatever he does or says regarding Soulless Sam it's going to be wrong; but this is the position Dean is repeatedly put in on the show (see also s4, s5, s9). The fandom then takes that even further than the show ever does to create this dynamic where as you said, Sam is the perfect victim figure and Dean his abuser. It's a lot.

And yeah, ignoring the implications of Soulless Sam and what they might say about Sam -- including his cruelty, as you've mentioned, but also things he doesn't allow himself to do or think, a certain freedom -- does flatten him. Dean often gets flattened in the other direction. The discourse around Demon Dean or Mark of Cain Dean in fandom tended towards the opposite of how people looked at Soulless Sam -- instead of being strictly Not-Dean, these versions of Dean were the True Dean, the Real Dean. This is just who Dean is. That double standard sort of drove me insane, basically. Like you couldn't talk about Soulless Sam being creepy or predatory or whatever, but Dean is definitely those things if those Not-Deans show those traits!

It eventually sets up a dynamic where anything Dean does that is self-defense or self-protective is condemned, but anything Sam does that is questionable is seen as self-defense. If you hang around in the fandom long enough, you will come up against arguments that Sam strangling Dean in s4 was pure self-defense, for example. This wasn't even a fringe view.

anyway I think this became my airing of SPN grievances again, I apologize.

I think I have too much distance from the show now to really talk about the subtleties of what Soulless Sam does potentially say about Sam in canon, divorced from my memories of the fandom experience. I'd have to rewatch! I actually really like the first half of s6, all of this aside.

Soulless Sam was really interesting, and was the last time Sam himself was very interesting to me as a character, to be honest. After that it just became endless cycles of "What's Wrong With Sam Now?" I mean even Soulless Sam fits that description, but at least the thing Wrong with Sam was interesting rather than once again only serving to put Dean into the position where he's supposed to make the choice to just let his brother die or anything he does to prevent that is Bad Actually and Probably Abusing Sam. Except then you'd have to end the show, right, so of course Dean has to pick the Bad Thing and the whole cycle continues. I have a lot of opinions about why that was the major theme of like. S6-10 (?) and how it served to avoid grappling with everything they failed to actually do in s5 wrt to Sam as a character and Sam and Dean's relationship, but I'm already going on and on.

[ozonecologne]

I missed a very important character in my recent black out posts, and I’d like to resolve that now!

Joshua, keeper of the Garden, heart of Heaven itself.

Before we got more development on the God!Chuck lore that has come to shape the last few seasons of Supernatural, Joshua was regarded as the only angel that spoke directly to God. From “Dark Side of the Moon” (5.16):

SAM: You’re Joshua. JOSHUA: I’m Joshua. SAM: So, you talk to God. JOSHUA: Mostly, He talks to me.

Dean and Sam, like Zachariah, are a little disbelieving that of all the beings in the world God would choose to speak specifically to Joshua. His response is patient and poignant:

DEAN: I… I don’t get it. God’s not talking to nobody so — JOSHUA: Why’s he talking to me? I sometimes think it’s because I can sympathize — gardener to gardener — and, between us, I think he gets lonely.

And when Joshua reveals that God won’t help the Winchesters, even though he’s fully aware of the beginning stages of the Apocalypse, Sam replies with skepticism once more:

SAM: How do we know you’re telling the truth? JOSHUA: You think that I would lie? SAM: It’s just that… you’re not exactly the first angel we’ve met. JOSHUA: I’m rooting for you boys. I wish I could do more to help you, I do! But I just trim the hedges.

You can watch this whole scene here.

I’ve always loved Joshua’s character and thought he was super underutilized in later seasons. Maybe it’s just because I’m a gardener myself and find caring for plants peaceful, but there is something really compelling to me about a character that occupies themselves with gentle tasks like growing things in defiance of a show that is mostly devoted to destruction and violence. Joshua represents growth and the apathy of the natural world with regards to human action, and he is ultimately singled out for this. God sees Himself in this being, and no others. And I think there’s a lot to be said for the fact that he’s portrayed as a black man.

The white men in this episode -- Dean, Sam, Zachariah, Castiel -- all try to get ahold of God for their own reasons, some noble and some not, but they are time and time again denied this. Joshua, on the other hand, is granted sacred knowledge that no one else has. We’ve talked a little bit on this blog about how black characters frequently have profound knowledge in this series -- most notably with Tamara and her Peruvian demon remedies -- that white characters dismiss or simply choose not to learn from, and here it’s evident that Joshua holds a position of real power and prestige because of that knowledge. Joshua is HOLY, and Sam and Dean simply can’t believe that he could be.

This lack of faith in the power of a black character is really highlighted in the first half of that linked clip above, when Joshua intervenes on the Winchesters’ behalf and confronts Zachariah about letting them go:

JOSHUA: Excuse me, sir? ZACHARIAH: I’m in a meeting! JOSHUA: I’m sorry. I need to speak to those two. ZACHARIAH: (as he advances towards JOSHUA) Excuse me? JOSHUA: It’s a bad time, I know. But I’m afraid I have to insist. ZACHARIAH: (scoffs) You don’t get to insist jack squat. JOSHUA: No, you’re right. But the boss does.

Joshua, dressed in humble and wrinkled attire, is docile and overly polite in this scene while Zachariah, dressed in a full pressed suit, behaves extraordinarily coldly, even threateningly. The acknowledgment of their power dynamic in those last two lines, “You have no power here,” met with a response of, “You’re right, I don’t, but I’m acting on someone else’s authority, someone that DOES have power” is HEAVY. This scene is MEANT to be racist. It is deliberately cut to show how white people time and time again underestimate the power of black people, and at the same time acknowledges the lived reality that systems of power deny black people authority. Joshua is only granted power over Zachariah in this scene because God, later revealed in the series to be a white man, allows it.

The dynamic between God and Joshua himself in these early seasons is worth considering in light of this established system as well: Joshua reveals that he actually does very little talking to God. God initiates their dialogue, he sets the terms of the relationship, all the power is in God’s hands. Is he exploiting Joshua? Sending him to fetch the Winchesters and deliver a message: Joshua is running God’s errands. Joshua, a black gardener in service of a white God, is a vessel for emotional labor. Are you catching on to how this is a problem?

Obviously in later seasons we come to know more people that speak directly to God, and Joshua is eventually recast with a white actor. 

I was furious when I saw this, and thought this was a real mistake for several reasons; not just because of the lack of representation and continual whitewashing of Heaven on this show, but also because it strips this figure of his cultural context. Let’s talk about black gardeners. Let’s talk about the act of cultivation and care. Let’s talk about having a relationship with the land, the soil, nurturing and soothing one another and how that is complicated by a lived black experience in the shadows of slavery. Many of the mainstream depictions we see of black gardeners are racist stereotypes of black men growing marijuana to sell illegally or cotton-picking slaves, but there is so much more than that. Gardening is therapeutic, gardening is a radical act. Check out these resources if you can:

Black Girls With Gardens

“Gardening While Black”

TED Talk by Ron Finley (also check out this profile on Ron)

[dandy-writes]

Crowley x Reader - Chapter One

QUICK AN: The reader in this fic is portrayed as non-binary and throughout the story referred to using they/them pronouns. However, them being non-binary at all is only brought up once in the story, and as such I hope that readers of any gender and pronouns will be able to enjoy this story. Thanks, and I hope you all enjoy! :)

Candlelight flickered across the dimly lit library of the bunker. Standing at a table, on which was placed various objects -- a bowl of herbs, a piece of chalk, and a few burning sticks of incense -- were two men. One held a thick leather-bound book, the cover worn from years of use. He read from the book as the other man looked on, arms folded.

“Et ad congregandum, eos coram me.” The man finished reading in the ancient language, swiftly closing the book and looking up expectantly. There was only a moment of silent pause before a presence joined them in the room. The air became stuffy and charged with static electricity, the candles flickered in unison, and the temperature in the room dropped by a few degrees.

The cause of the sudden disturbance had appeared at the other side of the table, clad in a black three-piece suit. He had a short salt and pepper beard and polished shoes. “Hello, boys,” he said. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

The man with folded arms replied. “We need to ask you about some demon activity over in Stockton.”

The newcomer sighed. “Of course you do. You do know you can just call me, right? There’s no need for this whole mess.” He gestured towards the table. “We could actually schedule for once, rather than just leave fate to decide whether you’re pulling me out of an important meeting or not.”

The other man set the book down on the table. “We don’t need any of your snark right now, Crowley. What we need is--”

He was cut off by the sound of a door opening and closing in the bunker, the noise accompanied by a voice. The disturbance came from behind the newcomer, causing him to turn around and for the attention of all three men to veer from the topic at hand. 

“God, the windchill out there is just awful,” The voice came, paired with the clamor of feet coming down the staircase from the main entrance to the bunker. Soon the source of the words came into view, standing at the top of the small flight of stairs leading down to the library. “Sam, I thought you said it was supposed to be nice…” The person paused, looking down at the scene before them, eyes lingering on the darkly-clothed man before their confused gaze turned to the two others. “I didn’t know we were having company.”

After an exchanged glance, the man who had just set down the tome strode around the table towards them. They walked down the stairs, just reaching the bottom as he carefully grabbed their arm and pulled them away from the newcomer, earning a perplexed glare.

“What are you--” They began.

“I thought you were going out on your walk,” The man whispered, brow furrowed.

“I was, but -- well, like I said when I came in, the windchill was…” They took a moment to reorient. “Sam, what’s going on?”

“Ahem.” They turned back to face the mystery man, who had just cleared his throat. “I don’t believe we’ve met.” He began to move towards them. “I--”

The man with folded arms interrupted. “Don’t take another step.”

He merely smirked. “Really, Dean. I’m not going to bite.” He turned his attention back to the stranger. “Not unless they want me to, at least.”

Despite Sam’s tightened grip on their arm, he was quickly shaken off as the person took a cautious step towards the strange man. Though their brows were knitted, they seemed unbothered by his blatant innuendo. “How did you know my pronouns?”

He seemed a little taken off-guard by their question, though clearly pleased at their approach. “It’s a demon thing, darling. Don’t worry about it.”

They paused, standing very still, mouth opened slightly. Quickly their eyes scanned over the table, taking in the sigil drawn onto the wood, before returning their focus to the “man” standing in front of them. They gulped. “Right.”

He smirked, putting out a hand. “Crowley, King of Hell, at your service.”

Hesitating momentarily, they put their hand in his. “Y/N.” Expecting a handshake, they blinked in surprise when the demon lifted their hand to his mouth and laid a light kiss on their knuckles.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” He said, still smiling.

“Oh, um. You too,” Y/N replied, face hot.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough,” Dean jumped in, clearly uncomfortable with the way things were going. Crowley released Y/N’s hand, letting them retreat slightly. “We didn’t summon you here to make pleasantries.”

“Ah, yes. Those rogue demons you mentioned.” Crowley said. “Care to elaborate on what exactly is so ‘rogue’ about them?”

“Tale as old as time,” Dean replied, unfolding his arms to rest his palms on the table. “Crossroad demons get greedy, start taking the souls of their victims long before they’re due. What do you know about this?”

Crowley sighed. “Nothing at all, Squirrel.”

“They said they were acting under you,” Y/N said.

The demon turned a little to face them, cocking his head and fixing them in his gaze. “Are you calling me a liar, darling?”

Y/N’s frown deepened. “No, I just… Well, I just figured that if I were in your shoes, and there were demons claiming to be mine and doing things that go against my principles as a leader… Well, I don’t know, I’d be kinda pissed, I guess.”

Crowley didn’t break eye contact with them, staring them down. Y/N blinked back at him, expression innocent. After a few seconds, the demon straightened up slightly. “I suppose that I can see where you’re coming from.” He returned his focus to Sam and Dean, who had been watching the interaction with concern. “Well. What is it you want from me, help with the hunt? I can check my calendar if you’ve got a date.”

“There’s no date yet, we don’t have enough information on the demons involved. We were hoping you’d be oh-so-kind as to provide a few helpful particulars.” Dean said, a mock smile growing on his face.

“I can go get the list of names we have so far,” Y/N cut in, seeming to notice the growing hostility. After a quick nod from Sam, they turned and went deeper into the library, soon hidden in the stacks.

“You didn’t tell me you recruited another hunter,” Crowley said quietly, glaring at the two men. “If we’re going to be working together, I’d like to know about that kind of stuff.”

“What are you, our boss?” Dean replied.

“Hey, you don’t need to worry about them, okay?” Sam said. “They’re not even a hunter really, more of the researching type.”

Crowley opened his mouth to respond when Y/N returned, holding an open notebook which they set down on the table near him.

“Here -- there’s not a lot, but it’s what we have so far.” They said, pointing at where four names were written in neat handwriting. The demon closed the distance between them, positioning himself so that he was looking over their shoulder, chest nearly touching their back. If Y/N at all noticed or was bothered by his proximity, it didn’t show.

“I can work with those,” Crowley said after a couple seconds of looking down at the paper. He stepped away slightly. “Thank you, kitten.” He quickly continued before anyone could respond to the nickname. “Is that all?”

The three hunters exchanged looks. “I mean,” Y/N said. “Unless you have any suggestions.” When Crowley’s only response was to tilt his head slightly, they continued nervously. “Just off the top of your head, I mean. Not to be rude. I know we called you, so it’s no problem if you don’t--”

“Check the crossroads in Stockton for any evidence of spellwork. I want to know how the traitors are redirecting the rituals so that they’re being called upon rather than my own crossroad demons.” He said, looking pointedly at Sam and Dean. “Call me when you get any leads.”

The two nodded, and with another flickering of the candles, the demon king was gone.

[dotthings]

While usually I’d post my ep-watching notes, I’m skipping that this time because 15.03 is such a deep dive emotionally on multiple character points. Also I’d normally rewatch before going into more depth on any one point but the Dean and Cas part in particular is a raw wound I need to get my thoughts out before I lose what’s left of my mind because of this show. That was a LOT.

Disclaimer because fandom is how it is: I will block anybody who brings character hate onto this post. You will, especially, not reblog me just to screech I have no right to consider Dean’s pov seriously and treat him as a human being and that Dean has no right to feelings how dare u. Disagreement is fine, if you see the characters and story from a slightly different angle, so long as the discussion’s in good faith, we’re good.

I’ve talked here a few times about why Dean feels the way he does about recent events, why he has a right to anger, hurt, pain, and this is a little similar, as I’m definitely not going to stop treating Dean like the layered, sympathetic, complicated character that he is any time soon, and he has every right to the anger and the hurt and the pain, but in this specific scene, his words are in the wrong. It’s in the same zip code as “you’re dead to me” and Dean delivering ultimatums to Cas, both of which are things I’ve criticized. This doesn’t mean Dean doesn’t have a right to his feelings or I’m going to ignore why he might act the way he does instead of knee jerk simplifying, which does the character, the story, his relationship with Cas, and the entire show a disservice. He has a right to that anger, fear, pain, hurt. However there’s a distinction between things Cas actually did where I can see why Dean might still be upset with him—shutting Dean out, not trusting Dean enough, not trusting in THEM enough--and then there’s Dean saying things are are untrue and unfair.

In the final scene of 15.03 Dean pins every screw up onto Cas, he uses the word “always” and it is a shockingly unfair statement, and you could make a history reel of Team Free Will demonstrating how off-canon that statement is. Let’s not repeat that cyclical thing, because it’s a trap like a hamster wheel and maybe some infernal device of Chuck’s to get fandom to fight, but anyone with an ounce of sense, who pays attention to canon, can see that Sam, Dean, and Cas have set things in motion that make big messes, repeatedly.

What Dean says plays into all of Cas’s deepest insecurities and fears, and the intention of the episode is very very clear that even Dean doesn’t believe what he’s saying. He says it anyway, which is a whole mess right there and I’ll get into that, but the things Dean says to Cas aren’t Dean’s truth. Jensen’s incredible, beautiful acting makes it obvious immediately not only that Dean doesn’t truly believe what he’s saying, but that Dean deeply regrets it the second they come out of his mouth. Most people have at one time or another said stupid things in anger they don’t really believe, or give into the impulse to lash out. Dean’s tendency to do this isn’t constructive or positive behavior, it’s a character flaw, but he is also a sympathetically portrayed character, not an asshole or an abuser, and we are always shown the sources of the hurt and the pain that brings him to that point. That doesn’t mean he can do that to Cas and it’s perfectly okay. But it’s a deeply ugly, bad hot take to treat Dean as monstrous or abusive.

Understanding where the pain comes from that gets Dean to the point he’d lash out like this doesn’t mean that what comes out of his mouth on the other end is right.

There is no part of Dean that really thinks Cas ruined everything and is always what makes things go wrong. It’s actually laughable to suggest this—I will for reals laugh at anyone who tries to earnestly argue that as a reliable take on canon. That’s pretty much someone who has divorced the canon and isn’t paying attention to years and years of material. This line isn’t in fact actually about Cas ruining Team Free Will save the world plans. It’s something much deeper, about Dean’s fears and Cas’s. Which I’ll get to a sec.

Dean also is incredibly unfair in blaming Cas for Rowena’s death, and if Cas had just let Bel devour all those souls and become a Lucifer-level problem, TFW would again be completely screwed. And he is also uncharacteristically cold to Cas about sending him on the mission to Hell with Bel. These are all red flags and build-up to the final scene. 

Fandom loves to yell about OOCness. This isn’t OOC, these things, this hurt, they are a part of Dean, but they aren’t how he really feels about things, they are purposefully crafted as red flags to show the audience something is wrong. Not that Dean isn’t himself, or possessed. It’s like a figurative, emotional possession. His deep sense of despair is eating him alive and his relationship with Cas is taking a hit from it.

It’s also interesting Dean voices what AU Michael said, which was AU Michael using Dean’s greatest fears about how Cas might perceive how Dean feels about him. This isn’t proof that AU Michael was speaking the truth about how Dean feels after all. It’s that Dean remembers witnessing AU Michael saying that to Cas, taunting Cas with it, and it’s still among Dean’s big fears—that Cas thinks he ruined Dean’s life, that Dean doesn’t love him back and blames him for all the troubles. Then there’s Dean’s fears that Cas doesn’t love him back, that Dean ruined an angel, Cas’s falling was his fault and so every bad thing that happens to Cas, deep down, Dean self-loathes himself for. 

Dean has done a lot of growing but the vestiges of the Dean in S9 who said “I’m poison” are still there. That kind of thing doesn’t just magically go away never to return.

And here’s this huge chasm that has opened under Dean’s feet. Dean is doubting the meaning of his entire life right now, because of the revelation about Chuck. Because of Dean wondering if anything he’s gone through is “real” — if any of his actions and feelings and pain and struggling and losses and wins had any real meaning at all or was it all puppeted. It was good in this ep seeing Dean not giving up, determined to fend off or seal away the ghosts, and up yours, Chuck, but he isn’t over his sense of despair.

One of Dean’s fears here is that what’s between him and Cas isn’t real, that the things Cas did, for him, their closeness, none of that was authentic. Remember that their relationship started as *movie announcer voice* it was only supposed to be a mission...it became something more. Cas’s introduction into Dean’s life was Cas as a chess piece, sent as part of Heaven’s bigger clockwork plan.  

Dean’s entire world is caving in, and he’s not ready to see that everything Cas feels for him, Cas's deep and genuine love for him, is in fact very, scarily, in your face real.

He’s shutting himself off, he’s shutting Cas out. The feelings he has for Cas aren’t gone, but Dean’s a mess.

Interesting how this ep shows a demon ripping Ketch’s heart out of his chest, because Dean figuratively rips his own heart out of his chest in the last scene with him and Cas. He hurts someone he really REALLY doesn’t want to hurt, who he loves so so much--you can insert here a sizzle reel of 11 seasons of Dean listening to Cas, defending Cas, offering Cas shelter and protection, saving Cas’s life, caring about Cas, being there for Cas, grieving for Cas, feeling insecure about Cas, showing fondness for Cas, in one way or the other. There is so much. That doesn’t mean the relationship doesn’t have problems or their own issues and poor coping mechanisms and circumstance and familial dynamics haven’t made things difficult at times. Dean hurts Cas on the most raw, biggest fear Cas has and interestingly, the biggest fear or criticism Cas fans have about the show.

And there’s Bel—demon of marital strife—playing on Cas’s fears all throughout the ep, taking little digs about how expendable Cas is, how unimportant he is to his friends. He’s like the angel in S11 who tells Cas he’s expendable and Sam and Dean “are the real heroes.” Maybe it was part of Bel’s plan all along to have Dean and Cas divided, along with his bigger take over Hell agenda.

I’ve been saying this and saying this--while it’s valid that Dean is still hurt over what happened with Cas, Jack, and Mary, and is still, remember, rawly grieving Mary’s death which was mere DAYS AGO—it’s also not actually what it’s about, and it’s not even entirely about Dean’s Chuck-induced despair, although that ground falling away is what’s pushing things to this point. What it’s actually about underneath is Dean and Cas and their relationship. Years of unresolved Dean and Cas issues. I sure called that one. Dean’s fears. Cas’s fears. Dean’s abandonment issues, Cas’s leaving, Dean’s fears of losing Cas, Cas’s fears of not being loved, Dean’s fears of Cas not loving him the way he loves Cas. 

One thing that is so so tragic about Dean’s despair is that just last season, Dean reached a point of self-like. Liking who he is, who he’s becoming, the family he’s chosen. Being good with his life.

And then boo the crushing reveal that Chuck was manipulating their circumstances all this time. Which doesn’t mean Chuck was controlling them or their decisions or feelings. But Dean doesn’t feel that way.

Which, emotional horror that this is, also just serves to show just how much Cas actually means to him, how important Cas is. This big Destiel drama and hurt and pain rises from Dean and Cas loving each other and being in love and being complete and utter dumbasses. It hurts. It’s supposed to hurt. Their friendship has been mostly functional. Their love story is a car wreck. If Cas wasn’t so important, all this emotional horror wouldn’t be taking place. Dean and Cas’s relationship right now is a lightning rod for the fallout on pretty much everything.

And it’s really strong, and it’s going to endure this, but not without taking some hits to the bow.

On Cas’s part, Cas isn’t in a great headspace but he’s in a less self-destructive and harmful and despairing headspace than Dean. He has grown a lot and I think a few seasons ago, Cas would have endured, looked grim and said nothing, and stayed. He would stay doubting himself, or stay thinking Dean is really unfair, but he’d stoically take it. But not this time, and Cas did the only thing he could now. He had to leave. There’s only so much hurt he can take and Dean is shutting him out and not listening to him. 

Here’s the twist about Cas. He both does and doesn’t believe Dean is speaking his truth. Cas’s gutted, shocked face at what Dean says brings Dean up short, it’s so raw. Dean’s realization of OH F*CK WHAT DID I JUST DO comes instantly, both from his own words ringing in his ears and from Cas’s reaction. The thing about Cas’s reaction, is that it has a bit of “oh you did not JUST” to it, where I think maybe Cas knows this is total BS and Dean is full of it but Cas also believes it. Cas feels like a failure. He feels like he has failed everyone. And now here’s Dean, his favorite person in the actual literal universe, telling him he is. Blaming him, when Cas knows intellectually that it isn’t actually all Cas’s fault, but nobody blames Cas for things more than Cas himself does.

This jacks right back into all of Cas’s deepest fears about not belonging. About being lonely. About being expendable and the afterthought in Team Free Will. One thing I’ve pointed out over and over is part of Cas’s drive to protect Jack is needing to be needed. Dean and Cas is not a parallel relationship to Sam and Dean, it wasn’t formed the same way, it doesn’t function the same way. They are very very close, but there also is no Sam to Cas’s Dean, until Jack. This is not about seeking or needing a codependent relationship. Putting it more baldly, while there’s a brothers-in-arms aspect to Dean and Cas, they are not sibling bonds/like-sibling bonds/parent-child like bonds, Dean and Cas are lovers, spouses, chosen not-actually-platonic life-mates, they are coded as a couple or as spousal over and over. Strip that layer out and trying to meta this becomes a lot of “but why??” 

The answers are simple. Don’t strip out the subtext, and the by now textually-level implied nature of Dean and Cas’s relationship. Which doesn’t mean I am saying it’s been consummated, but it also is what it is.

I’ve also pointed out how Cas’s immortality offers him the emotional horror of being the survivor, of Sam and Dean dying and Cas losing them and living forever onward without them. Ironically, becoming so attached to Sam and Dean fed his loneliness, because now he has that fear of losing them and living on forever without them.

Cas too has done a lot of growing, and like Dean, just last season showed how far he’d come. In Cas’s case, when he voiced that he knew Sam and Dean were there for him, and that Cas realized that he was enough. But as with Dean, those deepest shadows and insecurities don’t just magically go away and Cas still fears that he doesn’t mean to Sam and Dean what they mean to him and Cas, right now, feels like a failure to everyone he loves. Shoulder tap from another Dean and Cas parallel—“you fight and you fight for this family, but they don’t need you, not like you need them” which the YED used to taunt Dean way back when.

No matter how much Cas might understand about what Dean really feels, or about his own actual culpability, I don’t see how Cas could do anything now but walk out. Cas has never left Dean because he needed to leave Dean, because staying with Dean hurt too much. Cas has had to leave Dean, or left Dean, at various points for various reasons and it was never because he personally needed to leave because of his Dean feelings. Cas has had to leave because of world-saving stakes angel business missions, or because he was captured, or brainwashed, or murdered, or because his own headstrong decisions resulted in events that separated them, or he was protecting their son Jack. It wasn’t because Cas wanted to leave. Cas doesn’t want to leave now but he also needs to, personally. 

The fact that Cas so candidly stated those fears here startled me. I was hopeful for more emotional candidness, but this is even farther than I’d hoped. This is going to the root. And yes it is incredibly exciting.  As emotionally horrifying as this storyline is, the purpose is to move things forward to an even better place. This arc isn’t here for destruction. Things are being shaken out big time and it’s only going to make the bonds stronger once things are worked out. There’s already been a string of big moments in the show’s history showing just how deeply Cas is loved, and how much Dean loves him. If you were waiting for even more verification, just wait for it.

What’s also leaving me SHOOK is how very very very SPECIFIC this is. There’s a reason my Dean individual meta and my Cas individual meta is all mashed together here in a post that veers into talk about how Destiel is real. It’s things like this that show me recent SPN is serious as a heart attack about Destiel. Even if they can’t make it overt. I think a distinction needs to be made between overt/not-overt vs canon/not-canon. Destiel being non-overt doesn’t make its intention and its presence in the story not-canon. But my main point, this final scene isn’t about Team Free Will or a collective “how Cas feels about humanity.” This is unambiguously about Dean, and about Cas, and about Dean & Cas and their long relationship, and SPN is really f*cking serious about how important this is to both of them and how important it is to the show’s story.

[found--family]

‘Supernatural’ season 15, episode 15 screener secrets: We’re ‘Highway to Heaven’-ing this bitch

[everything is from this Hypable article] 

This week on Supernatural, Amara returns and are angels solving people crimes now? Hypable previewed Supernatural season 15, episode 15 “Gimme Shelter,” so read on to find out more.

After a sweet and fun return to ease us back into the world of Supernatural last week, things are heating up pretty dramatically – I knew there wouldn’t be much more time for messing around.

“Gimme Shelter” sees Supernatural dip its feet into what the Winchesters currently believe is their big plan – eliminating Chuck by also taking down Amara, resulting in what they believe will be a cosmic-being-free balanced world. But first, they have to find her. Sam and Dean get a pretty good lead on her location, which results in a very interesting conversation between Amara and the boys – especially with her most favoritest Dean, of course.

Meanwhile, Castiel is persuaded into taking Jack to investigate a nearby case in Missouri – which all three adults suspect is probably the work of a human criminal – for the sake of humoring Jack and keeping him both busy and supervised. On the way home, they have a very interesting conversation of their own.

Spoiler Warning: This article contains generalized spoilers for Supernatural season 15 episode 15, “Gimme Shelter.” If you do not wish to be spoiled at all, do not read this article in advance of the airdate.

The official synopsis for Supernatural season 15, episode 15 reads:

MATT COHEN DIRECTS — Castiel (Misha Collins) and Jack (Alexander Calvert) work a case involving members of a local church. Meanwhile, Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) go off in search of Amara (guest star Emily Swallow). Matt Cohen directed the episode written by Davy Perez (#1515). Original airdate 10/15/2020.

If you want to know what to expect from this week’s Supernatural, here’s 10 teasers plus 15 single word clues from our advance viewing of Supernatural season 15, episode 15 “Gimme Shelter.”

‘Supernatural’ season 15, [10] episode 15 screener secrets 

1️⃣ During the filming of this episode (27 January – 5 February) Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles both spent much of the week at home with their families in Austin, a detail which was made clear on their and their wives’ public social media accounts – possibly the result of scheduled time off as they’ve mentioned occasionally requesting? The result is that the episode is weighted much more towards Cas, Jack and the murder investigation they’re chasing than towards Sam and Dean, but on the flip side, the Sam and Dean arc is more crucial to the long game of the show, so what it lacks in minutes, it makes up for in impact. 

2️⃣ However, the episode still begins and ends in a grounded family group way, at home in the Bunker – one of those “we know we should be doing this together but there are Reasons we have to split up” situations. This detail, in my opinion, really speaks to the motivation of the creative team towards honoring the four leads as parts of a whole – in earlier days, this kind of episode would have been two entirely non-touching threads. This one is, if not a tapestry, at very least a braid – tied up together at both ends, and intertwined in the middle.

3️⃣ You might have seen pictures or ominous trailer footage of Castiel and Jack digging a hole at the crossroads. We all know what that means! However, don’t worry. They simply want to talk – and the demon they summon has some really interesting – and dare I say positive? – news about the state of Hell under Her Most Gracious Majesty Queen Rowena. Let’s just say the demon is actually pretty friendly… and extremely bored.

4️⃣ The two main guest stars on Cas and Jack’s side of the episode are both actors who have been briefly featured on the show before, in a couple of pretty famous episodes – one from season 2 and one from season 5. I don’t think there’s meant to be any meta or Easter Egg element to this, just the usual Vancouver casting industry cycle (see the ‘Weren’t You In Another Episode‘ reference page on the SuperWiki) but one of them is one of those cute “I appeared on Supernatural as a child and now I’m here as an adult” situations, and the other, well… the original character’s very name has become the stuff of Supernatural legend, and if I were in charge of this episode I would have put the actor in a particular piece of footwear and made sure we got a shot of it, just for kicks.

5️⃣ Castiel steps into a prayer circle when the church group members are meant to give a testimony – presumably of their journey so far and their relationship with faith. That’s what Cas chooses to share, at least – in a non-specific, humanized way – and fans of the character will be moved to hear the ways he verbalizes his own growth.

6️⃣ Speaking of growth, some of Dean’s is spelled out for him in the most miraculous way by Amara. After Sam and Dean meet up with her and have a conversation about Chuck that’s ultimately a bit of a non-starter, Dean returns to ask her another, more personal question. Her response gave me legitimate chills. It’s a very weighty mic drop and the combination of the level of impact and the level of clarity (it’s entirely airtight, no room for interpretation) feels like the culmination of all the self-actualization work the show has been doing on Dean in the last four years. (I wish I could tell you Sam got a big special moment like this in the episode, but he doesn’t. Amara’s return was always going to be Dean’s thing.) Amara’s speech to Dean… it doesn’t feel isolated, like the idea of it was invented just for this episode. It feels more like concrete evidence of what the show has been trying to prove for ages. And the funny thing is, Amara is the anti-Chuck, right, and all season, we’ve learned about the version of the story Chuck thinks is good, and we’ve been told to root against that. Chuck’s version of Supernatural isn’t how the writers really feel. But I think Amara’s might be. Dean has obviously struggled to see what she tells him, all in one piece, but here it is – this was the point, laid out on the table, from the entity behind the curtain – both onscreen and off. Amara knew what she was doing, and so did the writers. This was always, always the point.

7️⃣ Even before this massive scene, Amara’s return is just great. Emily Swallow does such an incredible job with this character – she really is the anti-Chuck even without the whole writer comparison. Swallow imbues this character with such an incredible peace and stillness in comparison to Chuck’s histrionics – this was true in the way she spoke and behaved even in season 11, but this Amara also feels kindness and patience and tolerance. She radiates power, even when she’s also slightly goofy. There’s no fight, there’s no antagonism, but the boys in her presence are like little fish in a vast ocean – they quickly realise they have no real control in this conversation. The way that we leave her indicates she’ll be back and has more to say or do, and what she shared during her reunion with Sam and Dean makes me really curious about the role she’s due to play in the show’s endgame.

8️⃣ I’m not very religious but I really like the version of a church group or ‘faith-based community,’ as they say, featured in “Gimme Shelter.” Supernatural has a shaky history in terms of how the show portrays people in-universe who believe. Sometimes they’re treated like a joke, or stupid, or dangerous, or hypocrites, but occasionally civilian acts of faith are shown as great and powerful things, even in a world where we know that what they believe in isn’t strictly accurate. That concept became an even bigger question mark for me when we got the reveal that Judeo-Christian God is not only absent, but our actual villain. However, this was a really nice look at why faith can still be a framework for a good way of life – loving thy neighbor – for some people, no matter the truth about Chuck. The episode also features a callback to writer Davy Perez’ very first Supernatural episode “American Nightmare” in terms of the way that some people have weaponized faith and religion to the detriment and harm of others or even themselves, but this factor does not negate the positive point mentioned above.

9️⃣ Supernatural alum and newly minted director Matt Cohen really got the full old-school Supernatural episode experience when it comes to leaning into the spooky horror element. The murderous case-of-the week featured in this episode is heavy and lingering on the gore and even contains a little bit of a jump scare, so view responsibly.

🔟 So, um, you know that line, in this week’s teaser trailer? The line that a lot of people are freaking out about because it seems to pertain to something important that we know about Cas’ fate that Dean and Sam aren’t aware of? Yeah, it is 100% absolutely not about that at all. It is about something super important, but it’s not that. It’s also the last line of the episode, but trust me – it’s not a cliffhanger and it’s not a red herring and it’s not a twist. The information is gleaned within the episode and you’ll know exactly what Cas is telling Dean about after seeing it – narratively, that’s the reason it isn’t in the episode, because the show clearly assumes you’ll get the picture and can skip a rehash of information. But what you were probably expecting – maybe even hoping for – it’s not that. You’re gonna have to hang on for that one.

Finally, have 15 random yet significant words from this week’s episode without any context whatsoever: Gaia, Ronald, mother, pierogies, cats, philosophy, target, blind, permission, lockdown, Kool-aid, buffet, gift, trial, choice.

‘Supernatural’ airs Thursday at 8/7c on The CW

[storyweaverofgondor]

Okay for fandom asks.... I... legit just want to know... everything. Is it okay if I ask... all of them...? Also what is a whump

Of Course! :D Also Whump according to the internet is “A fandom term, commonly used by fan fiction authors to describe physical and/or mental abuse laid on a character in a story.”

What is your OTP? : AladdinxJasmine(animated). Demestrap. HanxLeia.

What are your secondary OTPs?: AnakinxPadme. HeraxKanen AlonzoxCassandra. TuggerxBombalurina. SkimbleshanksxJennyanydots. AstridxHiccup. DagurxHiccup. Sam WinchesterxJessica Moore. Robin/NightwingxStarfire. Will TurnerxElizabeth Swann. TulaxRen.

What is your BroTP?: Han and Luke. Anakin and Obi-wan. Tugger and Misto. Tugger and Munk. Jennyanydots and Jellylorum. Sam and Dean. Dick Grayson/Robin and Wally West/Kid Flash. Will Turner and Jack Sparrow. Aladdin and Genie. Frodo and Sam. Hiccup and Toothless. Ren and Ioz. Sherlock and John Watson. Arthur and Merlin. The Second Doctor and Jamie McCrimmon. Keith and Shiro. Ateryu and Bastian. Kirk and Spock.

What are your Rare Pairs?: QuaxoxElectra.

Fandom Fave Pairing you view as having a different relationship then is commonly shown?: Tugger and Misto, Sherlock and John Watson, Arthur and Merlin and Keith and Lance are buddies/ best friends.

Pairing you don’t ship but love to see?:  Tuggoffelees.

Favorite Friend Group?: The OG Fairy Tail Team. Anakin/Obi-wan/Padme. Jack Sparrow/Will Turner/ Elizabeth Swann. Kirk/Spock/McCoy. The Riders of Berk. Trollhunters group. The Gaang. Inuyasha gang. Danny/Tucker/Sam. Inuyasha gang.

Favorite Found Family groups?: Star Wars OG Trilogy group. Leverage gang. Voltron:TLD (Season 1&2). OG Team Free Will + Bobby.

Favorite kind of Fix-Its?: Revenge of the Sith Fix-its.

Favorite characters to whump?: Anakin Skywalker. Hiccup. Keith Kogane. Gray Fullbuster. Sam Winchester. Zuko. Merlin. Will Turner. Jim Kirk. Jim Lake Jr. Dick Grayson/Robin/Nightwing. Frodo Baggins. Ezra Bridger. Inuyasha.

Least favorite characters to whump?: Obi-wan. Astrid. Stoick. Allura. Lance. Hunk. Pidge. Coran. Natsu. Lucy. Erza. Happy. Dean. Bobby. Aang. Sokka. Katara. Toph. Spock. McCoy. Samwise. Pippin. Merry. Sabine Wren. Hera. Kanan.

Often vilified characters (not actual villains) you love to see portrayed in a positive light?: King Uther.

Favorite type of AU?: Canon Divergence.

Favorite type of Crossover?: Sam and Dean Winchester arrested by cast of cop/detective show.

Fandoms you think would make a good crossover that you haven’t seen put together?: Supernatural/Grimm Case Fic.

Fandom you don’t talk about but adore?: Dinotopia. Hardy Boys.

Top characters you feel need more love?: Toby Domzalski. Sadira, Mirage and Eden(Disney’s Aladdin). Fishlegs. Kirara. Whole Pirates of Dark Water Cast.

Pairings you associate with a particular creator?: Tuggoffelees - @uppastthejelliclemoon

Character  you associate with a particular creator?: 2019 Tantomile - @statisticalcats, Alonzo - @jellicle-ho, Plato - @platothefluffbutt

Spread some love! Share a link to one of your favorite fanfics: Damned Demented Demons by hells_half_acre

Brag a bit! Share a link to one of your stories: A (Not So) Simple Salt n' Burn TheDiamondSword400