#but does he even know who andrew is without andy

[lordoftheskiesandearth]

I’ve been thinking on Andrew’s need to be normal and after reading Sunshine-Jesse’s latest essay I’ve come around to the idea that it’s truly not that important to him. Or rather, being normal in of itself is not that important to him, the attempts to do so are something he takes very seriously.

There’s a consistent method that Andrew uses to deal with his problems, and that’s disengaging, avoiding, denying, hiding away from it. That is not necessarily a bad thing, but taken to the extreme Andrew does it becomes a very big problem. As with most problems with the Graves, a lot of this can be traced back to Renee’s shitty parenting.

From his youngest memories, Andrew shows a predilection for lying and lying to withdraw himself. When his great Friend B talks to him about playing the Magic card game together, Andrew rather than open up in anyway lies about the reason he can’t play the game with him. He hides away and disengages rather than tell the truth and explain that his family doesn’t have the financial ability to support playing cards.

This is a continuous thread in the flashback as well, where when Ashley and Andrew deal with the Hag in their building his actions are to disengage and attempt to sweep any problems occurring under the rug. Andrew tries to make it so that if a problem occurred he feels no consequences and if he can manage it, make it so it “did not occur at all”.

When Ashley falls down and is covered in mud, Andrew goes to great lengths to hide this problem entirely. He does his best to make it so this is something his mom never even knows happened, when he could have just made up an appropriate lie and the situation would have resolved more favorably. But that requires a degree of being open that Andrew is near incapable of, not to mention allowing a problem to be brought to light rather than buried (burial hmm). It blows up in his face, which is something that happens to him several times through his life, from that incident in the flashback to him pulling away from Ashley when she was in the process of growing up, making them both tread a worse path.

So how does Normalcy fit in to this method that Andrew employs? Andrew sees “being normal” as being someone without problems. Someone who is normal is good, and by playing that part he doesn’t have to open himself up to anyone. (Interestingly, he never opens up to Ashley, but the fact that she is perceptive enough to see him in truth is something he very much loves. She even points out that others could see him too if he opened up, but he very much does not want that, would rather play a role and withdraw from that type of connection).

So to be normal in Andrew’s eyes is to remove himself from any danger to his inner self, and to remove any chance of problems occurring.

All of this also ties very heavily into Andy as well. Andy was not allowed to actually express himself, Andy was required to withdraw and only provide the appropriate assistance with Leyley. To grow past Andy for good, Andrew has to open up for real rather than keep pulling away.

[lookingformoondrop]

OMG FINALLY SOMEONE WHO WRITES ABT THE COFFIN OF ANDY AND LEYLEY AAA

Honestly I'd take any writing about Andy LMFAO whatever you want to write, I'd just love to read something, be it headcanons or some short story <3

Absolutely! I was shocked when I tried finding content for TCOAAL, and there was none💀. For the sake of fluff Andy, the reader is the closest thing Andy has to a sister!

*Leyley doesn't exist*

P.S. Hopefully, this isn't OOC. This is also not proofread, so

I hope these meet your expectations <3

Andrew Graves x female best friend! Reader

TW: Everyone has a filthy mouth (swearing)... N/M = Nickname ♡

♡925 WORDS♡

Ever since Andrew was a kid, he was treated more as his parent's friend than their kid.

This often meant that Andrew was forced to miss out on childish routines like throwing a tantrum, making a mess, having fun the loud way, and making mistakes, simply because "he was so easy."

If he were to add to his parents' load of problems, he wouldn't be able to live with himself, let alone sleep.

But that was all before he met you.

Every Friday, Mrs. Graves would give Andrew money to go on a snack run for the weekend.

But no matter what he did, no matter when or how he entered the grocery store, this little girl (no less than five) would terrorize Andrew.

"She's so annoying, mom! She always snatches the snacks I go for and then bolts for the next aisle. Then she just giggles and runs away with MY TOMATO SOUP."

Mrs. Graves sighed and turned around to face her son, "Andrew, just because a little five year old girl is taking some of the same snacks as you DOES NOT MEAN I am letting you shop at a different store! 'Shop Shop Shop and Shop, with more Shop' is the best for low-deals and prices. Please don't be difficult."

With no other choices, Andrew was forced to continue shopping.

Every week, she did the same thing. She'd sneak up behind him when he wasn't paying attention. She'd snatch the poor snack out of Andrew's hand and would bolt out of the aisle.

And everytime she did this, Andrew would grow angrier and angrier.

Finally, when the little girl stole the hundredth can of soup from his hand, Andrew turned around and grabbed the little girl's hair.

"AHH! Get off of me asshole!"

"You little shit! Give me that can back!"

They'd fight over the can of soup in the middle of the aisle for the next 10 minutes before the store owner kicked them out for "public disturbances."

Now, without his can of soup, sitting at the curb outside the store, with new bite marks along his arm, Andrew was more pissed than ever.

"What the hell is your problem? Do you just find malicious torment funny, you borderline psycho?"

Andrew turned towards the girl. She turned her smile towards Andrew, "Nah, just you."

Annoyed and exhausted, he put his face in his hands.

She thought for a moment , "No one plays with me, so I figured I should play with someone who looked as miserable as me."

Andrew looked at her through his fingers, "What about me screamed misery?"

She put a finger on her bottom lip, deep in thought, "You just have this face,"

Andrew scoffed at the girl, burying his face in his knees. She giggled.

"You just naturally look like an asshole"

"Watch your language, you fucking shit!"

Andrew went to grab the girls hair, "You dont even know my name, and yet you're calling me an asshole!? No wonder you dont have any friends."

She slapped Andrew's hand before it could reach her, "Well, what's your name?"

Andrew hesitated, "It's...Andrew Graves. What's yours?"

The little girl smiled, "Y/N L/N, your new best friend, Aaaaandy."

Andrew sat lazily with Y/N, laying on his lap. He cringed when he thought about their first meeting.

Of all the things they could've fought about, it was a can of soup... God, they're fucking stupid.

Since that day, Y/N would beg Andrew for attention and fun. She'd stalk him when he was out and about and would drag him away from any errands he was requested to run on.

"Leave me alone, N/M"

"Make me~"

"Please?"

"Lame. Now I have to come with you! With that bitch ass attitude you'll get beat up."

"Great."

And when Andrew accidentally reveal his address? Andrew was permanently stuck with Y/N.

Every Friday, she'd follow Andrew home, and even when Mr. and Mrs. Graves questioned the foul-mouth girl Andrew would never offer an explanation better than, "Some stray I picked up that won't let go. I have to keep her."

"Aaaaandyyy, can you change the channel? I don't want to lift my eyelids."

Andrew sighed, "The remote is right by your leg, dumbass"

"So?" She scoffed, "reach it for me."

"It's closer to you than it is to me!"

"Andy change the goddamn channel!"

"i'm not getting up just because your ass wants to be lazy!"

"ANDREW"

"Y/N"

Even if that meant pissing each other off with meanless schemes.

Despite their bickering that has made local pedestrians' ears bleed, they still were there for each other in everything.

"Whatever, you dumb bastard," Y/N mumbled to herself.

Andrew played with Y/N's hair as he stared at the mindless TV.

"Veronica Steveson asked me out to the date."

"Aw, poor hussy"

"Ouch, you think so lowly of me?"

"No, I just assumed you said no," Y/N continued to watch the TV.

"Why would I...?" Before Andrew could finish his sentence, Y/N sat up and stared at him with intense eyes.

"Do you like her?"

"W- Well no, but it's not like any other girls are crawling to date me"

Y/N scoffed at Andrew, flicking his forehead, "That's because you're stupid to notice."

She laid back down on his lap, and Andrew secretly smiled to himself. "So...who aren't I noticing?"

"Your mom."

"Y/N GROSS!"

And even if no one admitted it out loud, and even if you blushed one too many times around each other, you belonged with each other.

"But seriously, Andy, pass me the remote"

"Eat shit, N/M"

Thank you for the ask <3

[coff-in]

I RAISE YOU

Andrew and Ashley with younger sister who is EXACTLY as bad as them. Possibly worse. But she hides it so well that it's reallllly hard to find out until the Burial (or Decay) ending. She's clingy and naive! But she just happens to get along well with boys, and Andrew just happens to catch them asking her out a lot. She's shy and likes to stick with Ashley, but it just so happens that girls are always asking to be friends with her, and it would be mean to say no, right? When she can't sleep at night and wants to sleep with Ashley and Andrew, she just so happens to wear really revealing clothes. Whatever, they're siblings, who cares? And if Andrew's hand is too high up her thighs, or Ashley's hand is over her breast, well, she's already fast asleep. She wouldn't know anything about that. In essence! Younger sister reader who is well aware of her older siblings' inclinations towards her and drives them insane with it while acting like a cute little angel (she is a tease). I think they'd prob catch on or at least suspect her, but it only becomes really apparent during Burial when she's *extremely* into getting down and dirty with her siblings (Ashley and Andrew are not emerging without bruises and bites and scratches).

If we're extending this to Decay ending though I think it would also be interesting is a yandere who secretly wanted to keep one of her siblings to herself. Just toxic food for thought ykyk.

notes from coff-in: i don't know if i could elaborate on this wonderful idea even more because this is SO GOOD! (proceeds to elaborate on it more) i love you, 'nonnie.

[fem] reader-insert, [reader] is about 1 year younger than ashley, incest, NSFW, murder and suicide

baby sis [reader] teasing her siblings once they leave the quarantined apartments by offering to write her number on the wall near the restaurant (she doesn't even have a phone :p), pushing the two motel beds together so they could have "one big freedom sleepover" and she's like in a oversized night shirt and some short sleep shorts (or maybe not even wearing any bottoms to bed). maybe she's a clingy sleeper and wraps her arms and thighs around whichever sibling that falls into her nightly grasp. she's squeezing and nuzzling and cuddling them while they take it as an opportunity to feel her up. andrew def is an ass person in my head (don't get me wrong, he loves breasts and thighs too) and he hugs baby sis [reader], letting her hands rest on her ass and giving it a couple of squeezes. leaving her bras or underwear out in the open like ashley does and points it out when asked about it ("if leyley can do it then why can't i do it too?").

baby sis [reader]'s social life was a tool for her to use so she could get the attention of her siblings. telling andrew about the boys who ask her out and asking him if any of them would be right for her ("but of course there's no other man better than you, big bro!") and going to ashley after hanging out with her friends and complaining about how tiring they can be ("augh! they just don't get me like you do, leyley").

baby sis [reader] and julia being friends with each other but they're both using each other in some way. julia uses [reader] and ashley to get closer to andrew and once he and julia start dating, [reader] pretends to be a person to vent to about her relationship. while julia does talk about all the romantic things she does with andrew it's mostly her telling [reader] about ashley and all the death threats she has sent ("he bought me a lovely bouquet of tulips... and then ashley threw them away when i wasn't looking..." "a flower bouquet? how romantic!")

i can see baby sis [reader] leaving poems and love notes and little cute drawings of andrew, ashley and her together with hearts and stuff and she plays them off as either not being hers ("may julia left them for you, andy") or just cute little sister stuff ("the hearts are there to show that i love you guys")

she engages in a lot of physical affection with them both in order to touch and tease them while playing it off as her sisterly love. if she's shorter than them both she'd rest her face on ashley's chest a lot. they're just so comfy!! she'd hold andrew's hand a lot and tell him that brings her comfort and makes her feel safe,,, and he wouldn't want her to feel unsafe and scared, would he?

i think it's important that (from a story perspective i guess) andrew still watches over the parents when they prepare to sacrifice them, but ashley could also leave baby sis [reader] with him too (burial route). mrs graves tells them that she could fix all of this, they just need to ditch ashley and maybe instead of andrew it would be [reader] who threatens her ("i don't really care for how you talk about my big sister ashley like that, so i suggest you quit it :)")

during the vision, andrew and ashley are bitten and scratched up like a dog toy and [reader] is there leaning on ashley's chest, smiling and satisfied "let me know when you guys are ready for another round!"

andrew's blushing because he's embarrassed that he got caught while baby sis [reader] is blushing because it was all way more intense and wonderful than what she thought it would be. "we're never going to be like that, right?" and [reader] responds with a "well i certainly wouldn't mind :)"

a decay route with a yandere baby sis [reader] could have so many endings, you know? i think the game has three different variants/endings in the decay route: murder-suicide (ashley has a loaded gun and chooses not to shoot andrew), ashley's death (ashley has an empty gun), and then andrew's death (ashley has a loaded gun and chooses to shoot andrew). depending on possible earlier choices/actions, baby sis [reader] could either be chill with losing one of her siblings (their attention is less divided, right? more for her then!) or fucking lose it if she lost her favorite sibling to the other. gods, imagine a timeline where she lost both! her entire life revolved around her siblings and gaining their attention and love and if they're both dead in a murder-suicide then she'd probably follow them, too!

this is branching off from the request a bit (a lot) but in a murder-suicide timeline, baby sis [reader] tries to make a deal with ashley's demon/lord unknown to bring them both back to her! aaah!!

this is very long. i usually type my writing on a google doc to get it all organized but i've been thinking about this ever since i saw it this morning. thank you, thank you, thank you 'nonnie for this LOVELY AND WONDERFUL ASK!!! your idea and mind is just... grrr they're so great!!!

----

coff-in

[sphacelating]

Just putting this out here, but it feels kinda odd seeing people get angry that andrew is a doormat. Lying facade and hidden violent streak aside, andrew had been told time and time again that everything—his homework, his happiness, his life—needs to be set aside for ashley. That one convo between andrew and his mom at the start of ep.3 showcases a big part of why that is, like “oh yeah, i forgot, she’s allowed to do anything” after she ripped up his books and his mom said why did he leave them out, and “leyley is andys problem and no one else”. Renee never disciplined ashley and andrew couldn’t without being yelled at by both girls, so of course he stopped trying to be in control; it wasn’t like he ever had a chance at it in the first place. When he says he will be a good brother, he’s totally defeated, and that’s likely when it occurred to him it’s easier to let ashley do what she wants lest he get in trouble for it. it’s no surprise he’s a doormat, if he was told his entire life to cater to ashley’s every whim at the expense of his own, at least up until he presumably moved in with julia

it does seem “kinda odd” to me as well, by which i really mean that it seriously irks me when people call him that as if being a “doormat” isn’t a trauma response. anyone who’s lived with a volatile, suffocating and controlling person who responds to “no” with constant conflict, punishment and abuse, treats your boundaries like they don’t exist, your feelings and needs like they don’t exist, your time, your energy, your entire life like it’s theirs, knows that you can’t “just stand up for yourself” or some stupid shit like that and they’ll somehow back off and stop. you placate them and keep them content so that you can make it through the day in one piece, and you bitterly swallow the urge to tell them off every time you’re tired, frustrated and angry, because trying to assert your needs and boundaries certainly turns a decent day into yet another disastrously bad one in five minutes.

renee is his parent, andrew is obligated to do what he’s told when it’s coming from her, and his attempts at making her see reason is viewed by her as andrew being a difficult little shit. he makes numerous attempts to refuse ashley anything, and circumstances where his will peacefully supersedes hers don’t exist. she responds to any boundary he sets as she always does— by trampling all over it, stomping on it and spitting on it and making andrew’s day hell. like you said, he’s defeated, precisely because he has tried countless times throughout his life to make ashley stop, make renee cut him some slack, to make anybody respect him and they merely double down on their punishment when he does, direct or indirect.

all the anger and frustration and hurt he feels at the injustice he’s constantly forced to endure comes out of him when he’s alone, such as when he tears up the garden at their grandparents’ after ashley has tripled the abuse he has to take that day, because he cannot express it any other way.

andrew has tried resisting, refusing, “standing up for himself” and setting his foot down, and paid the price for it when he does enough times to know that it’s useless. it amounts to nothing. he needs to conserve his energy, because every day in the graves’ household he has to navigate the environment like he’s tasked with defusing a bomb. if he wasn’t a so-called “doormat” to spare himself from conflict and punishment, he would never have even made it to adulthood at all, because there is only so much a ten year old kid or exhausted, traumatized teenage boy can take.

you’re not a weak, submissive doormat for the learned behaviors you’ve been forced to adopt in order to survive abuse, nor when those behaviors are so deeply ingrained in you from the trauma afterwards that you compulsively continue even when no one yells at you or beats your ass anymore if you don’t.

[stellar-constellations]

Episode 3: Decay route part one (spoilers obviously)

I feel cheated of the new TCOAAL episode

This features opinions that you may or may not agree with or care about. It also contains spoilers for episode 3 (Decay part 1) for the Coffin of Andy and Leyley. This is my honest opinions and what I interpreted.

I honestly didn't like it. I understand that it's been about a year since the last tcoaal episode, and I know that creator (or author)'s work/writing changes over time, but honestly it felt a bit... forced? I know that TCOAAL has a new developer (Kit9 Studio) and it might be their contribution that makes it feel different too. I know that Nemelei provides art, but as for the writing, I'm not sure how much she does it...

Let's start off with my baby, Andrew Graves! As my stars know, I am a huge simp for Andrew, but I'm really going to put aside my bias and try to look at him for as he is, although my judgment will obviously be altered no matter what; basic psychology y'all, your thought of Andrew is different from my thought of Andrew, same goes with Ashley.

First, this episode really does make Andrew seem a victim, especially with how bratty and annoying Ashley was this specific chapter, but really, Andrew is no victim as we all should know. it felt forced to see Andrew as a victim, having everyone turn their back against him, even Ashley who "loves" him. (Spoiler, she loves submissive Andy, not stubborn Andrew, though he has the spine of a gummy worm and ends up faltering to her).

I was pretty sick and tired of seeing basically everyone like Renee and Mr. Graves and Ashley be blamed for how Andrew turned out. All the other characters seemed to have upped their annoyingness, Renee felt like a total character change honestly. Even the dad felt unorthodox. I know that it's them in the past, but I had to step back multiple times.

I mean, fuck man, even in Ashley's vision or dream, whatever, there was doors of "knowledge" where I can only assume she was hearing Andrew being chewed out as per the "you can't even watch over your sister?" part. It's just trying so hard to make it seem like his downfall was everyone else's fault except him, but NEVER blame others for your misfortune, because you have the opportunity to change and you don't. Such as Andrew getting out of the chains but going back to the apartment to Ashley, he had an opportunity, he just didn't take it. Andrew is NOT a victim, he has made bad choices and is a bad person just like Ashley and Renee and Mr. Graves.

The demon described Andrew as a Grime Soul, while Ashley is a tar soul. Ashley's description is worse, as something, thick, pitch-black, and suffocating; while Andrew is just simple grime that can be washed away with a little bit of elbow grease, but he appears to become a "tar-to-be" soul later on, which is honestly impressive considering how sucky his life was for the last 22 years he's lived and he's just recently now recently a "tar-to-be" soul, if he kills someone that is, but he's still a Grime soul? This even shows that after all the horrendous deeds he's done, even without Ashley such as killing a child, he is still a Grime Soul? What?? That's stupid, that's just plot armor, that is literally just trying to justify Andrew and it shouldn't, not in a psychological game like this.

After Andrew killed Ashley in one of the decisions to make, he decides he wants to die too. THAT is the psychological aspect I like, him just giving up on life because he was practically conditioned at a young age from his parents to care for Ashley, live for Ashley. It's sad too, seeing as when he gives up on Ashley, he gives up on himself; but it makes sense considering realistically he'd go to jail and be lonely and--- let's just keep it to the psychological aspects, this whole game had major plot holes and character plot armor and I really don't want to go into it. NO I will, because there was god awfully a lot of plot convenience. Like I said earlier, everything felt forced. From the damn gas station being right next to a family of three? To the police there for the kid to run to? To just out of all the human realm to end back up in, you're in your shitty home town in a apartment for goodness sake (I know it's because of the cultist, but there are cultists all over the world, bitch please).

After he killed Ashley, he really seemed like a broken man. He had no hesitance killing her. He had no hesitanation killing himself as the reality sunk into him that he did what he did, and he had no regrets either, unlike Ashley.

Andrew giving himself up for Ashley throughout his life, suffering over and over again because of her. Wrong parenting btw, punishing the oldest for something the youngest did, Renee should take parenting classes or Childhood Education or psychology; anything really would be better than what she is doing.

Andrew was in college and he did try to escape Ashley, but for some ungod reason he came back (which why did he come back if he was trying to escape Ashley and his family?) and the quarantine (organ-harvesitng ring) took effect, which btw, why aren't the people who did that in jail? I mean, realistically, holding people hostage like that is false imprisonment and a crime, along with the "nurses" drawing blood for their blood types later on which is wrongfully identifying as a medical personnel, and starving them and--- AGAIN, PLOT HOLES.

I don't know if this was Nemelei's writing or the writing of the new developers, but having Andrew look at every possibility to escape Ashley is just MWAH. Like, he wants to leave, but he wants her to be safe (like when he was debating impersonating as Carl and leaving Ashley with the demon so he could be free from, her JUST UGH, I like that part).

I need to hug Andrew so bad after this episode (the scene of Andrew getting drunk and kissing Ashley made me mad, IT SHOULD’VE BEEN ME, but glad he came to his senses, semi-came-to-his-senses...). Please notice how every time (err, most of the time) he has sexual innuendoes or fucks her is because he or she is drunk. Everybody, please also realize that if someone is drunk, it doesn't matter, because you legally cannot consent when drunk due to it impairing the cerebellum and hippocampus, both used in thought-processing, muscle movement, and speech. YOU CANNOT CONSENT WHEN DRUNK, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF A DRUNK PERSON SAY IT'S OKAY! Notice how he immediately regretted it after? This is why drunk people cannot consent. Out of everything to take out of the game, please understand that those under the influence, whether it is alcohol or drugs, THEY CANNOT CONSENT. Don't be a rapist y'all, because fucking an impaired person, even if they say they want it, is the easiest way to end up on the sex-offender list.

Oh, and the last 30 minutes where Andrew was just suddenly horny and shit and needed a fix? That was so unbearably forced and you literally can’t tell me otherwise. Out of the six hours of gameplay that chapter had, it just suddenly popped up all in your face in the last 30 minutes. It felt like a poor write-in to appease many sick perverts because unfortunately this game isn’t fiction to some people, they genuinely have the “any hole is a goal” mindset, which btw, rapists and necrophilliacs and pedophiles have the same mindset, so just let that sink in. I’m tired of having to support others mental illnesses because we should NOT be doing that (coming from someone with diagnosed illnesses from multiple medical professionals). I’m tired of liking things just to find the people in them repulsive. I don’t like Nemelei, but I like her work. I believe in not liking someone but at least respecting their hardwork and dedication; however, TCOAAL has unknowingly (or god forbid, knowingly) created a safe space for the scum of humans to mingle and connect with one another because Nemelei has egged and implied to support incestous acts and such thanks to this post:

She was egging the internet (and we know how scary the internet is), so of course they were going to pull an Internet and try to dox her. This is why you need to specify your motives and explain how you don’t fucking support crimes and immoral acts; once you allow one to slip under the radar, you allow all to. Make your boundaries clear, watch the fandom you created and monitor it, don’t let harmful bacteria grow into something more than an infection. But like, 80% of the fandom is pro-shipping. Like, “yay, go Andrew! Kiss the oversized sperm that shot out from your father’s cock and through the womb and vagina of your own mother, go Andrew 🥰🥰” (I say with 1000% sarcasm).

I need to stop my rant. Let’s get back to the more cheery stuff. Alas, I don't want to fix him. Give me him with all his problems. I can guarantee that some homecooked food (that has no human) and some damn cuddles in a soft bed is all he literally needs to be fixed (so long as Ashley is gone, because ngl I could see why he was so fed up with her, especially in this chapter).

ANYWAYS, enough of me ranting…

(Why is she kinda pretty like this...? AYO? TELL ME IM NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE)

I honestly don't have much to say for Ashley or any of the other characters considering this episode focused pretty heavily on Andrew, but I'll try my best.

Okay, so we all know of Ashley's abandonment problem. Even though in the demon-in-between realm Ashley refused to kill Andrew because of the vision, but secretly I think it's because she doesn't want to be alone (as everyone knows). Visions aren't 100% accurate in TCOAAL, you're able to change them if you choose the correct answer, such as killing the hitman instead of the hitman killing them?

The demon is honestly ridiculous, plot armor at its finest. I mean, demons would never entertain humans, especially with how much bullshit and demands Ashley gives the demon. A real demon would've just killed her and find someone else to make a contract with, because cults are such a rage in modern-media (oooh, satanic goth mommies with big tits and shit, yeah okay, we get it everyone. Get it, cause sex funny? Grow up).

Demons are tricksters, there isn't no negotiating with a demon unless they gain something. So it felt completely out of character having Ashley argue and bribe with a demon when a demon would slash her head off clean just for a little lip, but go plot-armor!

Not only that, but anyone notice how much more annoying Ashley was this chapter? How many fights she instigated with Andrew to where Andrew constantly was hitting her? Andrew never hit her in the other chapters, so what the fuck?! But okay, anything to keep the plot moving I guess... (I say sarcastically). But seriously, Renee really should have been punishing Ashley for her shit instead of Andrew, because if I was her mother, I would’ve whooped some sense into her (no guys, hitting your kids isn’t fucking child abuse so long as there is no bruises, it’s called discipline, don’t even talk with me about child abuse, trust me I know it).

Love how all the theories of Ashley being afraid of abandonment and viewing sex as transactional to make Andrew stay with her was true, because I agreed with it too. Ashley doesn't care about Andrew, she wants what she wants, and she didn't want to be alone, she wanted Andy who would listen to her and do what she wanted; not what he wanted.

Oh, you must think I’m forgetting something right, NO! Ashley raping Andrew? NAH FAM! I REMEMBER! It doesn’t matter what you think, a woman can rape a man too. Ashley did it cause she was under the impression that Andrew needed sex, and even though she didn’t feel any arousal and neither did he, she practically raped him to try and keep him with her. Please remember y’all, if they say no, IT’S A NO, and if they say yes but their body language says otherwise, they might feel pressured and it’ll be A NO. Just cause someone says yes doesn’t mean they consent, and if you think that’s dumb or can’t understand why, go on YouTube and watch those consent videos we had to watch during Freshmen year in high school. You may be wondering why I say she raped him; it’s because he was drunk, and drunk people cannot consent (as I said before)!

I was pretty sick of her this chapter (as I've said plenty of times). This wasn't my Ashley. They messed up her character. We're like what, 16 hours into this game and she's suddenly a different character? #NotMyAshley. No, actually. #NotMyTCOAAL.

Fuck this new chapter.

(I need her)

I just wanted to say, the snippet of Julia sounding cheerier in her voicemail pierced by heart, cause she's happier without Andrew neglecting her for Ashley and Ashley not yelling at her and threatening to murder her. YES JULIA, you go queen, you deserve better. Do what no TCOAAL fan can do and fix your mental health!

Julia getting help and a therapist is exactly what the Graves siblings' need. And fucking no, not couple's therapy, they need psychiatrists and therapists separately, stfu pro-shippers (this isn't a pro-ship blog, as are the other like 3 TCOAAL fans are on Tumblr. Sorry, block me if you don't agree because I block pro-shippers too, I don't got time for these games or arguments).

I don't have much for her because it was only like 5 minutes of her, but I'm happy to see her doing well!

The SHOT-AND-SUCH ending seemed like a bad ending honestly, as seen with them both sad, Andrew beating Ashley, Ashely fighting with Andrew and constantly threatening his life with the gun

I hope that there's an ending where they split ways and end up happy, because they both need to grow up and grow as individuals, not as a pair; but I honestly don't see it... I think this might've been our happy ending as much as I hate to say it, because I don't think there's going to be an ending where they're both happy; only one happy while the other is dead, and I honestly don't know who it'd be because Ashley won't kill Andrew, and Andrew will kill himself after killing Ashley...

There you have it, my raw, unfiltered opinion. I kept my incest views out of this, as I don't support pro-ship or incest, but I have a whole essay on why if you want to bother reading that: https://www.tumblr.com/stellar-constellations/769245017223069696/nemleis-december-2024-devlog?source=share

Oh, and I'm an Andrew x Reader blog too. If you're interested in reading my long and continuing masterlist of Andrew, click this! https://www.tumblr.com/stellar-constellations/743073859210706944/andrew-graves-masterlist?source=share

I had a bet with my friends that Andrew was an English degree, and I KNEW IT! I KNEW MY BABY WAS ONE!

Yeah, this chapter sucked. Not looking forward to the next one honestly...

Please remember, this is my opinion. Just because I think something sucks, doesn't mean it actually is bad, it's just not what I enjoy or my cup of tea is all.

[jylesthejester]

With how things are going in TEAPS right now, I wouldn't be surprised if Eclipse left with Puppet, Foxy, and FC if they do leave.

Reasons being

A) He probably won't be able to stand being there without the three people he knows well (Puppet, Foxy, FC), B) Puppet and Foxy might drag him along to deter him from doing something drastic, and C) Just because he can't stand everyone here because of how their views are.

Also, I wonder, maybe when Lefty and the others try to force Puppet out if she doesn't leave, what if Moons killcode acts up? He seems to hold a lot of resentment towards the people who want Puppet to leave (Which would also mean taking FC and Foxy away), and I wonder if it'll Kickstart his killcode just seeing it go down?

And Lefty, I don't think this is... Lefty? If that makes any sense. I made a comment on the first video where this whole Puppet leaving thing was first mentioned, speculating that this isn't Lefty, but a mimic. I didn't watch all the videos of TEAPS from the beginning (I kinda stopped watching all the shows right after the TEAPS introduction premiere) but I've seen people say Lefty was a Crybaby, and rather quiet. So this seems out of character, like extremely so, or it also seems like, maybe, another Lefty? An old model maybe? I don't know.

Also I feel like if Puppet, Eclipse, Foxy, and FC leave, Frank and Francis are following, so are Jake, Andy, and Andrew probably.

Here's some other sorta unrelated theories.

I wonder if Eclipse has his own killcode? He seems to hold a lot of resentment, which might be why he is always rude or just generally ready to do extremely drastic things. It's not like Moon's killcode in that aspect, of course, as Moon would black out for moments at a time(IIRC?) But Eclipse is fully aware, I feel like it just severely affects his thought process or actions, and he also holds resentment towards Killcodes, likely because he came from one after being abandoned by Moon, so it makes sense for him to have his own.

I think Dark sun might appear in TEAPS, maybe to get Eclipse? Maybe Ruin? I'm unsure. I really think what Dark sun put in Eclipses body that made his systems run slower wasn't temporary, it just faded out eventually when Dark sun didn't need it to do anything anymore. I have a feeling he can reactivate it and or put it into overdrive, sending Eclipse either into his own head, or just in a paralyzed/limp state. And I think Dark sun might just genuinely be after Ruin for something, not too sure, but it seems like something he'd do, after all, maybe he'd do the same thing to ruin that he did to Eclipse?

I feel like Frank has more knowledge on genuinely good positivity then Francis does, I feel like they were supposed to look into what good negativity to help/feed off of(Misery, Grief, confrontations, sadness, death(not that its a good thing.), fear) and bad negativity to help/feed off of(Abuse, suicide, assault, other worse things I don't want to say.) [What I mean by help/feed off of is - Help, would mean supporting it, helping someone through it, maybe even promoting it to be good in certian circumstances. Feed off would be, watch and take it in.] As well as good positivity to help/feed off of(Childlike wonder, happiness, joy, celebrations, ceremonies, accomplishment, acceptance) and bad positivity to help/feed off of(Adrenaline from crimes, enjoyment out of hurting others, sadism, other things that very sick people enjoy doing.). Basically what I'm getting at is, I don't think Francis understands the difference between good and bad positivity in situations, Frank understands good and bad negativity and knows when something is fucked up, but Francis doesn't seem to.

Yeah, just- more rambling.

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Salvia Splendens Means Forever Mine- Part 3

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

WC: 1.8k

TW: Death, blood, bleeding out, making out, kissing, men being creepy, swearing, blood, trauma, cliffhanger moment

A/N: Guys I am so sorry. School has actually picked up and so have rehearsals, I'm losing my mind, but I'm trying to write multiple things at once, and that's so silly of me. I'm sorry this is so short, and I promise the next one will be longer. Thank y'all for your patience. It means a lot! PS That's fully Lady Mac in the painting !!

Part 1 Part 2

In all fairness, it was your turn.

Spencer had been captured and drugged, Derek had been arrested and charged with multiple murders, Gideon’s lost love had been murdered by a serial killer, Elle had someone reach into her body and write with her blood on her living room wall, so truthfully, you were a little shocked it had taken you this long to be murdered, or kidnapped, or who knows what else. 

The team hadn’t royally fucked up, per se. You all were beyond careful, but sometimes, when you misprofile, things happen. How were you supposed to know that it was the girl and her boyfriend, and not just the boyfriend. 

The best part about this was the fact that you got to watch as the woman you saved two days ago get stabbed to death repeatedly, screaming at you to save her. Her blood splattered across your face, your clothes, your skin, permanently staining it in your mind. Your favorite Shakespeare show had always been Macbeth, it seemed a bit ironic now considering you felt as though you would never wash her blood off your hands. 

The screams would echo around in your head as you stared at her body on the mattress across from you. The red grew in splotches like a sick mold, blooming out from underneath.

The boyfriend, whose name was slipping your mind, slid the knife up your thigh, and you couldn’t tell if he was drawing more of your blood, or dragging hers across you. 

The couple had been so kind as to remove your shirt and pants, leaving you in nothing but undergarments, and no socks. Colorado was fucking cold at night

You heard the girl, Millie, giggling as she shoved the woman’s body with her foot. You winced as you felt the knife going higher than you would have preferred, his hand sliding around your waist. 

“Andrew. What are you doing?” 

His name was Andrew. Got it. 

His hands immediately retracted, shrugging and crossing his arms, but still standing over you. 

“Go dispose of her body.” 

Andrew nodded, quickly tugging your hair, painfully, before moving to clean up the mess the two of them had made. You swallowed the groan in your throat and closed your eyes; the woman’s body never left your sight though. 

“Why does a gorgeous agent like you wear such a boring necklace.”

Your eyes shot open as Millie swung the little gold chain around her fingers. You pulled you hand, intending to reach your neck, but the restraint dug into your wrist, surely leaving a mark in the process. 

You hadn't realized it was gone. Your neck suddenly felt so cold, so make, without it.

“Oh so which one of them gave you this?” 

You exhaled, but kept your eyes on her hand at all times, not wanting to lose sight of the necklace. 

She smirked, watching as every muscle in your body stayed as tense as it could. 

“Was it…Agent Morgan…Agent Prentiss…no, hmm…” She twirled it around, enjoying as you fidgeted around, terrified that the necklace would break. 

“The skinny one?” You tried so hard not to react, but you have this nasty habit of biting your cheeks when you get extremely nervous or worried, and Millie’s smirk turned wicked when she realized. 

“Ah, so it is the nerdy one…interesting…Andy?”

Andrew, who had been leaning on the door frame, eyeing you up and down, making your skin crawl, looked over at Millie. 

“Baby…” She drawled, “Put this necklace on me?”

“No.” You couldn’t help it as the words shoved their way out of your mouth before you even had a chance to process it. 

Andrew stalked towards Millie, eyeing her up and down before snatching the necklace out of her hand. “It’s real pretty on you baby.” He slowly placed it on her neck, the gold contrasting against her skin. 

“Ya know, I just have to ask…what does this stupid pendant even mean?” 

You shook your head, eyes cast downward, unable to watch someone else wear the necklace Spencer had given you. 

“Hey. Fucking answer me.” She kicked your shoulder causing you to wince in pain as you felt the bruising start to form immediately. 

You missed it as Andrew picked up the knife. You missed it as Millie took it from him. You didn’t miss how she stabbed you in the gut, causing your eyes to flash white. 

People say pain is hot, it shoots through you like a fire you can’t put out, but they’re wrong. It is ice in your veins. The numbness slowly takes over your body as it shuts down, trying to avoid the unavoidable. 

Your mouth let out a strangled “fuck” when Millie ripped the knife from your stomach, causing the blood to start oozing out of your wound. 

God it was not supposed to end this way. 

You placed a hand over your stomach, barely registering the wetness as you pulled it up to your eyes. You watched as the blood dripped down the sides of your hands, and that's when the adrenaline shot kicked out from underneath you. 

“Oh my god.” you mumbled, placing your hand over the wound. The first thing you were supposed to do was stop the bleeding. With what? There’s nothing around? Panic was seeping through every pore in your body. You had been trained for this, why couldn’t you remember what to do? What should you even use to stop the bleeding, god it fucking hurt. 

You watched as the door across the room slammed shut, causing you to flinch at the sound, causing you to groan in pain at the sudden movement. 

“Fuck. Fuck.” 

This couldn’t be it. You couldn’t just die while some sick and twisted bitch walked around with your necklace on, while you slowly bled out on some disgusting mattress in god knows where. 

Maybe this is what Spencer thought about while he was dying. 

“I’m not dying.” You whispered, wavering slightly. The blood loss was getting to your head and your eyes were getting heavy. “I’m not…shit. It’s fine…I’m”

His hand was softer than you remembered, but at least he wasn’t as nervous as before. It was your six month anniversary and Spencer had gone all out. He had taken you out to dinner, your favorite restaurant in the area, wined and dined you. It was perfect. The two of you had ended up back at your place, your back against the door as you dug your hand around in your pocket. 

“Spence.’ You mumbled, smiling against his lips, losing all focus as one of his hands grabs your waist, squeezing it with anticipation. 

Your lack of focus spurred Spencer on, and suddenly the door to your apartment was opening–he had found your keys and opened it, all while distracting you with his lips, his touch.  You were glad someone had their head on straight. 

You stumbled back slightly, not leaving his touch, feeling the warmth on his hands on your arm, pulling you back into him. 

“Move in with me.” He whispered against your lips, and you’re not sure if you heard him correctly. 

“What?” You whispered, taking the slightest step back, opening your eyes and looking up into his eyes. His sweet, shining eyes, filled with hope, and something a bit more. 

“Move in with me…” Spencer licked his bottom lip, that same nervous tick that would drive you fucking crazy whenever you looked at him. 

“What about the team…” Spencer shook his head. 

“Who cares.” He smiled at you. “I just want to wake up next to you every morning.”

Spencer kissed your lips softly.

“Please sweetheart” Your jaw.

“Every single morning” Your neck. 

“Spence…” You moaned slightly, surely leaving bruises on his arms from your grip. Your mind was everywhere, unable to truly cling onto any of the words Spencer was whispering to you.

“In our bed.” 

“Sold.” You pulled his head up and basically launched yourself at him, lips on his. 

Spencer was not having as great of a time in his head as you were. 

Just as the team was getting out of their cars, he had heard your voice, causing him to immediately go on high alert, hand on his gun in an instant. The rest of the team had followed suit, all of them quickly looking at Hotch and Reid, trying to figure out a plan. 

Reid almost had to be held back by Morgan the way he basically started to walk right into the building. He knew what happened in hostage situations. He knew how unforgiving captures could be. He couldn’t stop picturing all of the possibilities of what made you scream out in such pain. 

But suddenly, he heard the front door slam, causing all of them to instantly aim at the couple, demands and yelling all happening so slowly.

He could hear the suspects voice, that dumb asshole that wouldn’t stop flirting with you in  the restaurant they had eaten at a couple days ago. His arrogance was the least of Spencer’s problems now. 

Then, he heard a woman’s voice, calling the unsub “sweetheart” and “darling” and “baby”. How could the miss the girlfriend? 

She had seemed so…submissive. But clearly, the profile was off a little bit. 

That’s when he heard the first gun shots go off, causing him to look up at the body on the ground, and the girl sobbing but getting on her knees. The boyfriend had a gun in his hand, but was too slow. 

Morgan quickly walked up to the girl, Hotch following him closely, gun trained on her. 

Hotch’s eyes went wide, and he quickly gave a nod to Emily, causing her to block Spencer’s path. 

“Where did you get this?” Hotch yanked it off of her neck, clutching the necklace in his hand. 

“You’ll find what’s left of 'em in there.” She smiled sickly, getting shoved by Morgan towards the black SUV brigade. 

But Spencer had already seen the necklace, and heard her answer. It was a miracle how agile he was, considering the FBI had to waive all of his physical exams to let him go into the field. Before anyone could really clear the building, Spencer was already inside of it, ignoring the shouts from his superiors and peers. 

He slowly made his way through, trying not to vomit at all of the blood all over the floors and the very clear drag marks of a body. 

His eyes landed on your body, bloody mattress and all and he froze. He couldn’t believe his fucking eyes.

Next Part

________________________________________________________

SSMF Taglist: @raely-study @multifandoms-assemble @marylovesevanpeters @shqwqrma @niya06

[stabbyfoxandrew]

I HELLO IM NOT MISSING THIS WEEK. Can I get some more of my demon boy?

WIP Wednesday (3/5) | Demon Neil AU (Part 24)

For the better part of an hour Andrew has been gritting his teeth and resisting the urge to slam his client in the back of the head with his fist. But he's not sure how much longer he's going to be able to do so. You see, this bastard will not keep still and Neil's snickering every time the idiot flinches is starting to drive Andrew insane. He likes to think himself a professional, but it is getting ridiculous.

"What's wrong with this guy?" Neil asks the sixth time Andrew almost gets himself horse kicked in the stomach. He dodges and takes a breath. "I mean... He was aware this process involved a needle, right?"

"I assumed so since we did the lines last week," Andrew says as he wipes down the leg he's working on. "Apparently not."

"What?" asks the guy on the table, turning to look at Andrew.

"If you kick me again, we're done. You can walk around with this half finished for all I care."

"What? You can't just—"

"I can do whatever I want," Andrew says, jamming a finger at him. "Put your headphones back on and stay still."

"Great bedside manner."

"Fuck you." Andrew whispers. His little outburst pays off though. The guy lies still as a corpse for the next thirty minutes and Andrew quietly applauds himself for not knocking him out. In fact, he thinks he deserves a cookie for his restraint. Neil laughs at that and makes fun of the tattoo in the same breath.

"I drew it, you know." Andrew tells him on an exhale, almost offended. Neil had liked his work earlier. What's wrong with this?

"No, no. I like your art. But why is it on the back of his leg?"

"People do weird shit."

"A bird on the leg's worth two in the bush?" Neil jokes and Andrew turns his head to hide a stupid laugh in his shoulder. "I mean he's not even going to be able to see it without a mirror. So what's the point?"

There are far weirder places to put a tattoo, Andrew thinks. For instance, the woman who got a Hello Kitty on her ass cheek a couple weeks ago— Andrew did not handle that job. That was Allison. Besides, Andrew himself has tattoos he can't really see, so...

"What tattoos?"

"I have one on my back, for instance. And there's one that lives under my sock—"

"Are you talking to yourself, Andy?" asks Seth's voice as he comes back in from his car. Andrew bites the inside of his jaw and Neil bitches about that.

"Shut up, Bryan." Andrew says, flipping him off with his free hand. Seth blows him a kiss and Andrew hopes that he and Reynolds make up before the day's over. They're both less unbearable when they're fucking. As soon as Seth turns around, Andrew sighs. "You're making me look fucking schizophrenic here, Neil."

"Hello, I'm in your head. You don't have to answer me out loud, Andy."

"Do not." Andrew thinks violently. Seth's bullshit aside, he will not tolerate the nickname coming from inside his own skull.

"Okay. Fine. How long does all this take?"

Andrew very nearly opens his mouth to answer, then catches himself. "Depends on the tattoo."

"This one specifically. I'm bored."

"Another hour or so, I think." Andrew thinks back as he surveys the phoenix he's put on the back of Cory's— that's Mr. Kicks-a-Lot's actual name— leg. "If the fucker stays still and I don't choke him to death first."

"Well, either way we'll be done with him soon." 

Luckily for all parties involved, the rest of the phoenix goes off without a hitch. When Andrew is through he sets the machine aside and grabs a fresh tissue to wipe it all down. It's perfect. Neil hums his agreement and Cory finally risks looking at Andrew again, pulling his headphones off.

"Is it done?"

"Is it done." Andrew confirms with a nod of his head. Once Andrew is finished wiping it down, he lets Cory off the table and he wanders off to the mirror the check it out. Renee takes photos of it for the shop's social media accounts and after a few post-tattoo pleasantries— it is usually quite easy to be nice to someone when they aren't trying to kick your ribs in, Andrew finds— Cory leaves the shop all plastic-wrapped and satisfied.

"One down, one to go." Renee says with a smile. Andrew nods. His other appointment is a consultation, but they might go ahead and get started if the client's got the time.

He has nothing else to do today, after all. Except for finding a ride home that is not purgatory for Neil. He supposes he could call Kevin; he's pretty used to hauling Andrew around. He's been begging for the opportunity to buy Andrew a 'decent' car for years, the bastard. He's almost decided on it when Neil starts vibrating.

"Never mind, we'll walk."

"Andrew, I'll behave. I'm not allowed to control the body anyway so it's not like I would embarrass you."

"My body. Mine." Andrew reminds him. "We'll see."

[fictionkinfessions]

Genuinely can't tell if you're serious in the tags about watching a playthrough of tCoAaL, MPC, but if you are... I recommend the 5 hour walkthrough of all endings as they get all the special/secret dialogue.

Also, absolutely screaming and crying because if I accidentally turn you or anyone else on this blog into sourcemates, I'll know I just have the power to infect people with splitting off into fictives or even kinning. Because I've kinda already accidentally did that. 😅

Anyway, good luck, and I hope you have fun and enjoy the psychological horror visual novel with puzzle solving and RPG elements.

-your favorite goth cannibal who is only a little messed up in the head. #🩷🖤

Your timing is hilarious because I just finished a let's play, went to bed, and saw this while checking the inbox one last time.

I did just finish a no commentary let's play, but it's only 4 hours so I'll have to go back and find a proper walkthrough with all the secrets. 'full game playthrough' my ass!! I do wish I got into this sooner. It's a very cool and basically up my alley as a horror fan.

[also your choker is so cute? the lil bell? precious goth!!!]

Anyways, I can see why tumblr, et al likes you and Andy/drew so much. You're very sympathetic. Like yeah you're an asshole but there's definitely some nature vs nuture thing going on. You absolutely needed therapy as a kid / young adult and well. That didn't happen for various reasons. Capitalism, general neglect, life experience, etc. Two neglected kids / teens, lots of drama, much fodder for speculating what coulda woulda happened? That's some good 'hindsight is 20/20' that a lot can related to.

And I can see there's a decent amount of incestuous undertones. Very gothic genre, very Flower in the Attic albeit way less confinement and overt child abuse. Again, therapy might've helped but that meant more proactive parenting and less capitalism interference. [bc a person might care more about their kids if they're not burned out by working 80 hours a week] Also for you [canon you, not you necessarily] to realize your behavior was kinda unacceptable. Which imo therapy might've done, who knows.

Also for Andrew who kinda got stuck in that situation in his own shitty way. Anyone else grow up in an apartment building with no other kids, and the park was too far to walk to on your own, and there's just nothing to do but school, come home to homework, and that's it? Like really, the Graves kids have their ProblemsTM but the real villain? Capitalism.

Though I don't think I can blame children for learning from their parents. The parent Graves are very similar in dynamic, albeit without the incest [I'd assume???]. Yeah there's mental illness but that doesn't come out of nowhere. Again, nature vs nuture themes here. Also that your parents fucked him over by forcing him out of college and preventing him from even getting employment? He's legally dead. How does he even get a new identity at that point? Yeah he does some messed up things but what choices does he have? Prison? Getting sent back to the fucked up medical torture corporation? Andrew, buddy, you have all my sympathy.

Absolutely wild ride. Still trying to figure out the apartment thing, but I think I got it. Your parents sold you to a corporation who were doing medical experimentation on all of you. I think. I wonder if there really is parasites in you--from that one nurse scene-- and that's why you survived that long in the apartment? Kinda like some Resident Evil shit. Except you did not turn into a flesh monster [Birkin!?] or start monologing while being a super human [Wesker…!]. Unless those were tracking tags the nurse injected…. I guess it'll be answered in the next chapter(s?). You're both very badass to survive that shit. I think I would've simply laid down and died. [gasp what if you go to the corporation next, and it becomes a Psycho Yuppie crossover….? /jk]

Also TAR SOUL?? Slurs? Girl slurs?? I guess that's a Demon of Misogyny in addition to Flea Market Trinkets. I'm going to beat that dollar store spongebob text strain talking knock off's ass. [that the demon has no commentary on Andrew is kinda funny. 'oh it's the bro. mm. well bai.']

ok also disclaimer. Yes incest is bad and I don't support that in this life. [what happened in canons / past lives I don't judge either. You can't change the past imo.] I can appreciate that in this game it, at least, has some credence to be present within the material. It's a unhealthy situation that leads to unhealthy behavior. I didn't get the feeling it was, you know, intentionally eroticized media like some things found on a3o. Tumblr, et al, saying it's incest bait is really weird. Like, it's a visual medium, yes it's going to portray it visually? The curtains are a [color] for a reason, and this time it's not erotica. I don't think tumblr is good at shades of grey morality or subtlety.

wow this got long. Well good bye, I'm going to find the 5 hour playthrough now!

wait PS there's someone on the queue mentioning they're questioning Ashley Graves because of you…! So! Britney spears voice, oops, you did it again? LOLLERSKATES

[saimotass]

unfortunately i do like the coffin of andy and leyley. however! i'm not one of those weirdos that ships andrew and ashley together, and you shouldn't be either! anyway more thoughts on my stance below the cut

i'm not a fan of the fact that the incest is there - i understand why, as another way that ashley can manipulate andrew's emotions and affections, and it's supported as an interpretation in the text. but their relationship could still be just as toxic and codependent as it is in-game without that being a canonized route. the overtones and subtext will be there regardless, and i do view it as part of andrew's character that he has a subconscious attraction to ashley, but there are other ways for their dynamic to change other than canonizing and romanticizing the romantic undertones of their relationship.

i understand that it's fictional and that it's also not the only morally reprehensible thing that the graves siblings do in the game. however, the incestuous dynamic between them only manifests on the route where they're both still alive and both coming to more of an understanding with one another. while, yes, neither route is a particularly good one for either of them, the questionable route being an offshoot of the burial route (the route where ashley continues to get everything she wants out of andrew) inherently paints the dynamic as a better solution than ashley and andrew getting their comeuppance for their crimes.

i am aware that not every story needs a moral backbone - some of the best stories have reprehensible things happen in them and their perpetrators never see retribution. however, when people outside of those stories read them, they affect reality and their perception of it. all good stories do. no matter what, fiction does affect reality and the way we interact with it, because fiction is inherently based in reality - even sci-fi, fantasy, speculative fiction.

people actively shipping and glorifying the incestuous dynamic between andrew and ashley affects the perception of incestuous dynamics in the real world for those people. ignoring the manipulative tactics that led to that route leads to more tolerance of those manipulative tactics. even when people claim that they know better, it still affects their perception, even the slightest bit. and people who aren't aware of the context seeing their incestuous relationship being glorified will assume the context makes the situation more palatable than it actually is.

ashley's been really good at manipulation thus far, it stands to reason that she could probably figure out a way to keep andrew along without resorting to incest. he's already pretty clearly devoted to her as an older brother, she could keep using their familial relationship as a means of manipulating him, or hell, eventually if andrew ends up fighting back there could be a route where she kills him and ends up using another person later, this time with romantic and/or sexual motivations. i've seen suggestions that it could even end up being julia, which would both make sense and add to the fucked up nature of ashley's motivations and manipulation.

andrew's underlying attraction to his sister could be refuted more openly and clearly. his reactions to other people noticing their dynamic could be more overtly against the idea. he could start trying to distance himself from her as a means of putting a boundary. he could be more forceful with setting up that boundary with her when she teases him about it. all of the reactions in-game lead people to assume that andrew wants this, potentially even more than ashley, and that because of that, it's okay because they're "consenting" to it.

there is no consent in this relationship - ashley has been manipulating him since they were kids, their power dynamic is uneven and leads to ashley taking advantage of his emotions, and ashley's been essentially grooming him into seeing her as the only woman in his life for years at this point. not saying andrew is without fault here, but putting myself in that position, if i had a younger sister who threatened me for a murder i was an unwilling accomplice to, all because she was jealous that i was starting to have a life of my own with people that aren't her, i would have felt similarly helpless.

[agender-witchery]

Very good take. I really wish we had more people like you in this fandom. Andrew and Ashley are just doing their thing, no one’s yelling at their tv telling Patrick Bateman or Michael Myers to “Stop ti! That’s wrong!” And I think the same should apply here. We shouldn’t shy away from the subject matter of the game, trying to make it sound appealing to people who hate it with a passion is the wrong approach. Being open about the real essence of the game will bring more thoughtful discussions about it instead of just denying it and being flabbergasted when it becomes obvious it is about incest and the game doesn’t take a negative stance on it. Everytime there’s a new preview about the next chapter there’s a lot of people who can’t believe they’re seeing them being weird and suggestive with each other. I’m happy it has incest, that’s a good thing actually.

One thing discussions about the game highlight I think it’s that Reddit has horrible takes about everything, it’s more noticeable in this game since they can’t wrap their head around this one in the slightest but it happens with all kinds of things.

I will say there are a fair few people on reddit who are willing to actually engage with the game itself rather than the controversy around it. There are good discussions to be had on the subreddit, it's just that like 90% of the subreddit is incest porn or incest memes.

One thing that engaging in those discussions (as well as watching vods from when a vtuber I like played through the game) made me realize is that Ashley is like... written as a person? She's a character with emotions who is more than just "zany psychopath who likes cannibalism and manipulation". She genuinely cares for Andrew, but because she's abusive and the least well adjusted person alive, that manifests, uh, poorly. That's part of what makes the familial abuse feel like it has weight to it. Sometimes abuse comes from a place of genuine caring but without the ability to do it in a way that's, y'know, not abusive.

She tries to force him into the box of Andy, because she's afraid that Andrew might not need her, and if he doesn't need her, he might leave. Her manipulation and control isn't purely about exerting power over her brother, there's an actual goal there. She doesn't feel like she can live without him for one reason or another, and so she does what she feels like she has to in order to force him to stay. She blackmails him, she gaslights him, she forces him into terrible situations, and that's largely because she has no moral compass and doesn't know what else to do.

Andrew on the other hand isn't actually much better. On first glance, he seems better, but he's actually just better at hiding it. He actually has something that resembles a conscience, although that's mostly a "how do I escape the consequences of my actions" tool for him. He puts effort into appearing normal even though we see that actually being normal isn't exactly high on his priorities in the Burial route. Andrew sees right the fuck through Ashley's manipulation, but he lets it happen anyway because he doesn't have to face himself if everything is Ashley's fault.

This is why so much of the incest is more palpable when things are from Andrew's perspective, because while Ashley has the excuse that she's just doing it to get under his skin, Andrew doesn't have that excuse. He doesn't have an excuse when he admits to himself that he doesn't have nightmares nearly as often as he claims, he doesn't have an excuse for why he holds his sister like that, or why he puts his hand on her ass as if it's the most normal thing for him to do. Both of these people are absolute messes, and their relationship is described as a codependency for a reason.

[coff-in]

aaAAAA I've been lurking and um um um I have brainrot from two of the previous asks >_> What if what if

Younger Sister Reader from the I love you more than I should post x Yandere Andrew post Decay route?? And they have the same toxic thing going on from that one post where Andy threatens to off himself if the reader moves an inch from his side. Like all I can think of is Andy having a shit ton of romantic feelings for reader that the reader is just coming into realization about while also reeling from the fact that, yk, Ash is dead? Andy telling his baby sister that he doesn't want to live if he can't have her (romantically, carnally, etc.) I just really want a jealousy scene where reader like...looks at another man and Andy is like "So. You want me to die?" and then reader has to comfort her older brother in a variety of ways that are decidedly not very sibling-like. Andy basically going "date me or I die" and reader is just. panicking.

notes from coff-in: i had trouble writing a ficlet or headcanons for this for some reason so it's just me fucking word vomiting my thoughts directly. also also also, thank you!!! i would've never thought people come to lurk on my blog, GUH IT'S SUCH AN HONOR!!! ur going to make my heart explode

[fem] reader-insert, [reader] is 1 year younger than ashley, incest, NSFW

i think it would mostly play out the same as yandere andrew with the older sibling but with more incestuous overtones. all i can think about is andrew and baby sister [reader] going out shopping or something. baby sis [reader] asks one of the employees where she could find some seasonings or something and the employee points to the aisle and leaves, then andrew comes up behind [reader] saying “did you really need to talk to him? hm? maybe you just wanted to ogle at him up close, huh? is your big brother not handsome enough for you anymore?” [reader]’s like “no no no!! I just needed to find the chili pepper, im sorry :(” and andrew makes her kiss him with tongue in the aisle to calm him down.

they’d have to get a job together, this is non-negotiable to andrew. preferably the same position so they’re close to each other but i think he’d settle on being in the same workplace in general if reasoned with enough. baby sis [reader] hides back into her shell again like she did when nina died but she doesn’t come back out this time. faced with the loss of her big sister ashley and the possible suicide andrew threatens her with, [reader] just deems it safer for her to be as introverted as possible. she’s still has some independence and autonomy but it’s only around andrew if that makes sense. she’ll cook and clean and entertain herself at home with or without andrew but in public she’s very introverted and clingy with andrew. andrew isn’t complaining about any of this though.

andrew’s very happy that he gets his baby sister to himself now! with all the fucked up shit they’ve done together he’s not too conserned with introducing themselves as a couple even if people put two-and-two together that they’re blood related. i can see him being very physically close and intimate with his baby sis [reader]. a hand on her lower back, hand holding, a finger curled in her hair, sleeping in the same bed, and like… a lot of sex. [reader] loves her brother and he’s been respectful when it came to sex. it took her a while to properly figure out how to feel about andrew’s romantic attraction towards her but she does feel the same way too (whether it was natural or something that was fostered while on the run). he likes to leave hickeys on her neck and other obvious places so people know who she belongs to.

every morning they wake up together in the same bed and say “I love you” to each other and they do it again every night before they go to bed.

i also think about semi-public sex with them, too. andrew gets jealous somehow and drags [reader] into an alleyway and forces her on to her knees and flops his cock on her face. “how about you show your big brother how sorry you are, huh?” she tries her best to take him into her mouth but she’s just really bad at it because she’s never done this before. andrew doesn’t mind, though, and praises her for her effort and eagerness because he can’t be mad at his baby sister for that long :) he cums into her mouth and her cheeks get filled up too quickly and some of his semen spills out of her mouth as she tries to swallow it all and andrew’s like “aww, what a good baby sister you are :) it’s ok if can’t swallow it all. i’ll have more for you later.”

i love this idea, thank you ‘nonnie.

----

coff-in

[sphacelating]

As someone who loves Andrew as a character and doesn’t hate on Ashley and recognize both of their flaws unlike most people, I feel like the fandom coddles and sympathizes Andrew even more after Chapter 3 because of his backstory.

Ashley’s behavior is largely a result of her parents’ neglect and lack of effort in raising her. They never made her go to therapy or address her issues, instead enabling her behavior and shifting the blame onto her brother. She never had birthdays celebrated, and her fake friends only used her to get closer to Andy. As a result, no one really supports her, and she never learned how to behave in a healthy way. So, it makes sense why she’d become so dependent on Andy when he’s the only one who’s actually tried to care for her and make her happy.

What people often overlook is that Ashley grew up in the same toxic, abusive environment as Andrew, but instead of being labeled as “evil” or “manipulative,” she’s simply a product of the neglect and lack of guidance she experienced. She craves unconditional love, doesn’t understand relationships, and wears her emotions on her sleeve. Meanwhile, Andrew sees through it, lets her behavior slide, and ends up blaming her for his own actions.

There’s a lot of sympathy for Andrew, to the point where people overlook some of his less admirable qualities—like how he treats Ashley, Julia, Nina, and others. But when it comes to Ashley, she’s dismissed just because her personality is harder for people to like. She grew up in the same neglectful and abusive environment as Andrew, but their personalities turned out differently because she was completely neglected, while Andrew was suppressed. This explains why Ashley tends to act out and demand attention, while Andrew keeps things bottled up. Yet people forget this, and only see Ashley as a product of the same toxic environment that worsened Andrew, without considering that there was nothing in that environment that could’ve helped her improve. She doesn’t know how to initiate positive, prosocial behavior because she wasn’t taught how to.

In many ways, Andrew’s behavior is just as problematic—he rarely does anything genuinely prosocial and sometimes behaves horribly toward people who care about him, like Julia. But because he’s more inward in his attitude and has a more fleshed-out backstory, people tend to accept him more easily. Ashley, on the other hand, hasn’t been given the same explanation or “justification” for her actions.

Ashley is clearly wrong for abusing and raping Andrew, and it's understandable that people sympathize with him because of it. However, let’s not pretend Andrew is some “innocent” person. He’s spied on his sister while she was changing, emotionally manipulated others, used Julia to vent his sexual frustrations about Ashley, cared more about the consequences of his actions than the lives he took, faked nightmares to sleep next to his sister, and continues to engage in inappropriate touching or flirting with her.

In the Shots and Such ending, Andrew wanted Ashley to get drunk with him so they could have "accidental" sex, and he ended up assaulting her while she was intoxicated, trying to repeat what he considered the best sex he ever had. In the Cliffhanger ending, it is implied that Andrew intended to assault his imaginary sister.

In the story, Andrew makes many sexual comments to Ashley but later takes back his consent. Despite this, Ashley continues to press him, which leads to the conclusion that this is rape.

Then Andrew has sex with a wasted Ashley. When she finds out, she has a breakdown. Andrew argues that she "wanted it," suggesting it wasn't rape?

Andrew violently beats Ashley and then becomes drunk. Ashley forces him to have sex with her. Later, Andrew admits he likes to get Ashley drunk to have sex with her and has been trying to recreate it over and over again.

Both individuals are terrible, but it frustrates me that Andrew is not held accountable for anything.

Ashley and Andrew both have difficult personalities shaped by their neglectful upbringing. Ashley seeks attention and is often criticized for her behavior, while Andrew is more reserved and people overlook his flaws. The key point is that both are shaped by their environment and should not be labeled as simply a "monster" or a "victim. "

If you feel sympathy for one sibling, you should show the same sympathy to the other. Similarly, if you dislike one sibling, you should also have the same feelings toward the other.

i don’t know what world you live in where people are sympathizing with andrew after decay and refusing to hold him accountable, nor why you’re dropping all these paragraphs in my inbox to tell me how much andrew sucks and ashley should be coddled more like i’m one of those people.

not a fan of anything you said on the topic of rape, either. mentioning it in passing only to bring up examples of andrew disregarding ashley’s lack of genuine consent after he was raped by ashley and she forced him into a sexual relationship as if to show that andrew is a worse rapist, even comparing his deeply repressed thoughts in cliffhanger to the act of rape by claiming thoughts = intent to act, all of that strongly comes off as trying to justify what was done to him and i am not here for it.

and making sexual comments does not in any way equal consent to sex, so andrew didn’t withdraw consent that he’s never given when ashley raped him. you’re definitely in “andrew wanted it so the rape wasn’t that bad” territory here and it’s extremely uncomfortable.

[noxexistant]

Andrew Keenan Bolger- Big clothes. Cottagecore. Dungarees with sunflowers or mushrooms embroidered on them (he likes the big pockets). Big sweaters that bunch up at his hips (it helps hide his malnourishment). Hear me out- he totally wears thigh highs and either Docs or high top converse (either knockoffs or stolen) that Jack has painted on. He also has a small collection of snapbacks that Albert swiped for him. It’s a thing they do. Albert takes one from the hat shop every time they go to the mall.

Zachary Sayle- Will wear anything and everything pastel. A firm believer in ‘fuck your gender roles’ and ‘clothing has no gender’. Still wears big clothes, but is oddly stylish. Desperately wants to wear platform boots but knows it’s impossible because he’s too fkin clumsy (lbr just being on crutches would not stop him, but this boy knows he would d i e on platforms too)

Andy Richardson- Doesn’t have a preference on what’s actually on the clothes. He just wants stuff that relatively fits. He doesn’t want anything that’s too tight. He’s worn clothes that were too small and he got even more of those looks. The pity in people’s eyes when they see just how small he is. He prefers clothes that are too big, but will wear anything that isn’t skin tight.

Matthew Duckett- Wants to look tough desperately. He and Albert have matching sk8r boy outfits. I’m talking the long-sleeved striped undershirts with either a plain or graphic tee overshirt. Mismatching socks, and ratty, torn up sneakers. He has a collection of stolen goods from Albert as well, except his is pins, which he wears proudly on his bags. Which he turns into a weapon when the need arises. 

Also they all will wear a skirt or dress in solidarity for his mtf trans friends

these are so sweet i love theeeem 😭

this is very specific but i tend to imagine the actor-specific modern characters in the specific era of when their portrayal took place. so, like, akb’s crutchie is in like 2011/2012. and i always picture their fashion (and details like hobbies and technology) to match - it truly feels anachronistic for akb’s crutchie to have anything more modern than anything andrew himself had in any of that behind the scenes content. like, that boy cannot have anything more current than a beat-up iphone 4. matthew duckett’s the only one who gets to be Current.

i definitely see akb crutchie in a lot of knit and crochet, big knitted jumpers under dungarees, jackets borrowed from the others that don’t fit at all (especially, like, letterman style jackets from race and albert). his converse are drawn all over with sharpie and biro by everyone including him along with jack’s lil paintings, the laces are filthy and frayed and don’t match, and the shoes themselves are an inch from death, near as old as he is. he likes fun socks, especially very bright ones, and usually mismatches them because he just does not care - and that includes long socks, though they tend to frustrate him because they never stay up on his legs. catch him leaning against his crutch and making frustrated noises as he wrenches his socks back up, though at a point he’ll just let them be half-scrunched down his shins.

zach crutchie has never worn trousers in his life and will not start. it’s shorts all the way, baby. he also really likes the practicality of skirts. anything but trousers is just way easier to get dressed in without the motility of his leg, and more fun to make outfits out of. he loves fun button-down shirts. he likes beanies, and he has unquestionably worn a flower crown (it was the style at the time!). he also totally tries to get fun shoes to make up for the lack of platforms - although, if he was in a wheelchair, he would be able to wear platforms. that is a big chunk of his desire to get a wheelchair. mobility? sure, cool, whatever, but getting to have more fun with how he dresses? let’s go.

andy crutchie’s clothes reflect insecurity. he dresses very soft and non-threatening, and very plainly, like he’s trying to blend in. collared shirts under oversized jumpers to try and bulk him up a bit, always trousers - with a belt around the waist cinched in tight to keep them in place, because he wants them big but then they never fit, and plenty of layers. he tends to wear shoes without laces because having to manually lift his paralysed leg to tie his laces frustrates him, so he likes imitations of those slip-on vans. he also likes hats, beanies pulled low on his head that he can sort of hide in, and they help keep him warm - he’s always cold. he likes borrowing people’s jackets.

matthew crutchie loves graphics. he has so many stupid t-shirts he got from thrift stores, as do race and jack - they go hunting for them together, and compete to see who can find the dumbest ones, with a strict rule that whoever sees the shirt first has dibs on buying it (but they then give the shirts to each other anyway, if it’s something they know one of the others would love. race has a “best grandma ever” shirt that crutchie gave him that he thinks is hilarious). he loves pins and embroidery and patches, anything to customise stuff as his, especially since it’s all secondhand and he makes it last as long as it physically can. that being said, he still rarely gets around to fixing stuff (his dungarees in uksies are broken) so most of his clothes and shoes have holes in them or the sole coming away or other little “quirks”. he always brings a hat out with him but it usually ends up shoved in one of his pockets, and he’s the type to triple-knot his laces and then stub them so they just always stay tied and he can toe his shoes on and off.

also, bonus: owen stringer crutchie is the one who’s especially desperate to look tough. he’s the definition of the skater boy style, lots of layers, bulking himself up. baggy trousers that are so long he has to cuff them rather than it just being a stylistic choice. lots of hoodies, all of which are miles too big, many of which are stolen from other boys (especially albert). the edges of his sleeves are always frayed, he’s cut thumb holes in some sleeves. and he wears a lot of jewellery, cheap rings and necklaces, in another imitation of tough guy styles.

[andrew-and-leyley]

scenario where when they were in highschool, ashley is invited to some popular boy's party as his date. andrew is pointedly not invited- he's kind of a loser, and the guy's ex left him because she was crushing on andrew.

ashley goes, despite andrew's protests.

party things ensue, and it all leads up to 7 minutes in heaven. ashley and mr popular go into the closet; she's a little excited, but really she's thinking about how she can't wait to tell andrew about the naughty shit she's about to get up to. she doesn't really care about mr popular at all- he's cute, in an andrew sort of way, she notes- and this is the first time she's ever really been asked out. she's the weird kid at school, it's always her and andy sitting by themselves at lunch, and... well, she doesn't really need anyone else, does she? andy can accept her for who she is, and if he doesn't, she can make him.

mr popular, though? she has nothing on him. she's barely ever glanced his way. the only positive thing she can attribute to him is that he's never outright bullied her or singled her out or whatever. and, weirdly, in his presence, the other kids who have done all of that shit, are quiet and even... nice?

of all the people at the party to be stuck in a closet with, he's the best one, she supposes.

maybe they start making out- he takes the lead. at first. she's not one to give up control so easily, and she can certainly make this a memorable time for him. in heated whisper, she offers to suck his dick. in the dark, she can see his surprise, but then his hands are fumbling over the zipper and button and- well, it's a little disappointing, if she's being honest.

she's seen a lot of dick in her life (that's what happens when you share a room with your brother), and it's.... well, it's fine. it's just not... his.

but it's whatever. she shrugs and gets down to her knees, and gives as good a blowjob as she can. only to jump away at the sudden light and the sound of riotous laughter from their classmates. mr popular is smirking- he's no longer cute, and the andrew charm is gone from him- and standing over her, his dick still out.

she's humiliated. her classmates are calling her a freak and a slut, mr popular is telling everyone how easy she is and how she begged him to suck his dick. weirdo, whore, and even an occasional bitch light her up from head to toe.

she leaves without saying anything, walking home in the dark on her own.

she's halfway there when she slows down, remembering that she was supposed to call andy to pick her up when she left. she'd promised him that. but it's only been... what? an hour tops?

humiliate her in front of her peers all you want- she won't be humiliated in front of andy. it takes her a few more minutes of walking to realize something else:

there's a car following her.

there's a very brief moment of panic (not even for her own safety, but if she gets kidnapped or some crazy shit, andy might never forgive her. worse, she might never see him again) before she realizes it's her mom's old, beat-up car.

looking through the windshield reveals andrew in all his "protective big brother" glory, and she stares him down as he drives up next to her. when the window rolls down, he greets her with a raised brow

he doesn't have to say anything; she pouts and walks around to the passenger side, sliding in. they sit there in silence for a minute before he reaches over her and buckles her in.

he'll ask her what happened to calling him, and she'll lie- say she forgot- in that way that andrew will know the truth regardless. he'll ask what went on at the party, and she'll be quiet.

part of her wants to tell him what she did- she knows she'll tell him eventually, anyways. they have no secrets from each other. but she's still embarrassed by the whole situation... still, even if andrew's ashamed of her, or reprimands her, it's better than not having his attention on her at all.

she'll cough up the truth, play it off as something funny and fucked up all at once, like she's always doing. andrew's hands will tense on the steering wheel, before one reaches out to hold onto her hand. he's pissed off, and she can tell, so she'll try to lighten the mood even more by saying how unimpressive mr popular's dick was compared to his.

andrew immediately pulls his hand away from her, and in a mix of flustered and angry, he curses at her, telling her to stop saying shit like that. it's a perfect distraction, his response. she knows exactly how to pull the reactions she wants from him, and given he knows about what happened, he probably feels bad enough for her to give in to whatever she wants. some sort of brotherly obligation.

she bothers him in the car the whole drive home, messing around and being stupid (she takes her buckle off a couple of times, andrew stopping the car to rebuckle her until he gives up. "die, then," he tells her, and she laughs. putting her feet up on the dashboard prompts another pull-over, where andrew is forced to get a little handsy in order to push her feet back down to the floor. etc etc)

the party's almost forgotten completely by the time they arrive, and it's only seeing her parents still awake that brings her back down from the high of the car ride. it forces her to remember that she wasn't gone long at all, and her mood sours again as she slides past her mother (not even a "welcome back" or a "how was the party" or a "you're back early") and her father (he spares her a glance and that's about it), back to her and andy's room

she's scowling and pouting in her bed as andrew comes in, turning the lights off. he climbs into his own bed, for all of a few minutes before he gets tired of her quietness.

"you okay?" he asks. she shrugs in the dark, and knows he can see it; she can feel his gaze on her. "want to..." he lifts his blanket up- an open invitation to share beds for the night.

he always kicks up a fuss when they share beds, now, and their mother definitely doesn't approve of it. (they're too old to do that now, or some other bullshit). but tonight he's offering, and it doesn't have to do with one of his nightmares or his insomnia, and it's... for her.

she leaves her bed behind quickly and practically pounces on him, preferring this over the party- even before it turned south. because tonight, andy is all hers. he wants her there. for now, at least.

[andypantsx3]

Tw: Misogyny and discourse (pls don't feel obligated to answer this)

Ok soo Andie I feel like you are so good at giving advice and you are just such an amazingly sweet and kind person and I aspire to be like you. That being said I am just stuck in a very uncomfortable situation and I sadly can't talk about this to other ppl close to me (you'll see why).

I have a cousin brother who is staying in the same city as me, because of his Uni he sometimes comes over when he has holidays or on the weekends. There is ofc nothing wrong with that, I like that he can relax here a bit and I get to spend time with him (it's my parents house btw). Everything was fine and well but then sometimes out of nowhere he'll start acting weird (also he's a devoted andrew tate fan so....). He'll just come and say horrible things to me like how I should take care of the house (he says its a girls job to do all the work whereas men should be allowed to laze around) , force me to do his uni work and projects and belittle and humiliate me when I refuse, he lectures me about my weight and calls me a cow, he takes my things without asking and goes through my stuff and messes up my room when I go for my lectures. He's just really nasty to me in general.

My mom doesn't say anything to him and she instead scolds me. She says that he is our guest and I am overreacting. She says he has done nothing to warrant my dislike for him and that I am being very petty and unreasonable even though SHE SEES THINGS HAPPEN RIGHT BEFORE HER EYES?! We also have this very toxic culture in my family where women are expected to give everything up for men's comfort without complaining and it is our job to bend ourselves backwards to keep the peace in the household by not fighting. She says these are just normal sibling things and brothers are allowed to do all this and I am just being oversensitive.

I really don't know what to do Andie. I definitely don't hate him because he's my brother but I don't know how to handle him or my family without getting distant or fighting with them :(

Hello my love!! This is such a tough situation and I am so sorry you've been put in this spot!! I am sending you all my love and support and hoping your family cleans up its act soon, but it sounds like instead you might be waiting a while!!

I am a very direct problem approacher by nature, so I'm not sure that what I would do would work in this situation!! My first thought is that it's your house, and you can welcome him into it while still establishing boundaries. If I was in this situation, I would probably end up telling my brother once he starts in on one of those behaviors again that he can stop right now and still be welcomed in your house, or he can insist on his course of action and will have to find somewhere else to stay. It's his choice.

In his own house he can have his own rules, but in yours, your feelings and your time and your boundaries are to be respected. I would hope framing it like that gives him the idea that he's welcome in general but with options and consequences to consider, instead of him just feeling like he's allowed to be there and do what he wants. But unfortunately it does sound like this approach would still make waves in your family if he chooses wrongly, so you would have to be prepared for that.

I'm not sure if it's best to take a less direct approach (be aware this is not a strength of mine) by doing his projects so badly he does poorly in school and then feels the need to do them himself, by buying a lock and key for your room so he can't go in it when you're not there, or by keeping your house even dirtier or something so that he doesn't like being there. But again this is like, not my strength so idk how good this recommendation is.

Idk!! This feels like such a bad situation to be in and you might just have to weigh which outcome is the most bearable to you; fighting with your family for some amount of time, or feeling shitty for the amount of time you have to see your brother while he's in university.

(Also if anyone else reading this has been in this situation before or has recommendations, please give them in the replies!! I feel like I'm such a bad problem solver because I only know how to bulldoze!!)

Anyway I just want to reiterate that I feel for you and I hope you are keeping your head up! While not exactly the same as your situation, I grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive household with a very misogynistic father and so I know all too well the kind of toll gendered standards (and blindness to/deference to male figures) can take on you. I have been told I was basically born with a stick in hand and all I knew how to do was poke the bear, so that's all I can think to do now lol. But regardless of how good or bad my advice is, I am 100% there with you and supporting you with my whole heart!!

I hope you find your way out of this, and I'm happy to chat/let you vent to me if you ever need it!!!!