#but each time I would tell her of some happy childhood memory I also had this ugly nasty thing lurking behind it

[sassmill]

Hate that I’m having a huge fucking freak out after a really nice day

[runawaycarouselhorse]

What made both her sacrifice for her team mates’ happiness in Pocket Monsters (2019)/Pokemon Journeys episode 95 and the fact that she thought this would be her end more poignant for me is that being completely alone is what Musashi hates the most. She lost her (single) mother as a child and was never adopted, going from foster home to foster home... ;_;

After many failures (like being unable to graduate from a school meant to train literal Pokemon Nurses, because she couldn’t do what Chansey do, despite studying hard and being adept at skills like bandaging…) and having her heart broken and being disappointed (she let a boy she loved go alone so she can pursue idol dreams with some friends, who all made it… without her, so she lost a possible love for an impossible dream)…

She couldn’t bond with her partners and left them to be injured, just to save herself, during her training days at Team Rocket. She’d become selfish and self-preserving… in the Japanese version, the others called her “shinigami Musashi” according to Yamato (Cassidy), likening her to a reaper of souls… but James refused to run away, sick of living a life where he ran away from all his problems. He’d sacrifice himself for her and Meowth’s safety, getting badly injured and nearly missing their final exam, hospitalized. The first time they uttered the beginning of their motto was when she believed she was all alone again, much like in this scene… the Rockets in the Japanese version repeat the last thing someone else says as if to answer a question (the “nanda kanda to kikare tara” = “if you ask us about this or that” is mostly filler that could be substituted with anything else.)

Musashi (Jessie): (dejectedly, as she walks away alone as the final exam begins, even being questioned by Nyasu/Meowth where she’s going): Is this all that there is…?

Kojiro (James): (answering while leaning posed against a tree, covered in bandages, but they were only wrapped over his clothes so he could whip them off dramatically) If you ask us 'if this is all that there is,' our answer will be the universe’s compassion!

She’s so moved, she turns away to wipe her tears. “A team mate who won’t run away…”

I think that’s the first time they ever see her cry.

Jessie desperately wants family, belonging, that’s why she falls in love so quickly, she wants a family more than anything—James had everything material growing up, but not love… Musashi had near to nothing material growing up, BUT she had her mother’s love… until she lost her very, very early. They contrast each other! They’re soul mates, eternal partners, whether you ship them or not. Meowth, too, was orphaned as a kitten, never even named, and an outcast his whole life. He's also always falling in love easily, seeking a home... the trio should never be separated, they are each other’s sought-for home.

I think the falling snow in this scene, where she runs off in tears, after wearing a brave smile and telling James it’s okay to stay with Cassidy, is a very deliberate choice, as Jessie loves snow. One of her few happy memories of her depressing childhood is being made treats made of snow to eat. She unknowingly lost her mother in the snowy Andes mountains, seeking Mew, put into foster care, while Miyamoto tried to make money to give her a better life... glittering snow and sparkling tears…

For Meowth too, she lets him go. She just wants everyone to have their chance at love.

So, her believing she’ll end up dying alone, as she’s always feared, Musashi here laments her luck, but also has a beautiful little dream of her friends saving her.

Once again, similarly to the break-up episode of DP, she was the one who calmly and gently encouraged James to pursue a possible love. She also broke Dustox’s pokeball, in tears, not wanting her to make the same mistake she did, giving up on an attainable love for an unattainable goal (and, indeed, Jessie did not win the Grand Festival, despite her skill at Pokemon Contests… she made the right decision for Dustox’s happiness.)

Jessie loves her friends. Sure, she’s caustic, rude, temperamental, bitter, and self-absorbed, but she prioritizes love and their happiness. She doesn’t want them to be alone and abandoned the way she felt as a kid. She loves them so much so, she’s satisfied to die alone and suffer her worst fear if it meant they get to be happy. That’s self-sacrifice.

She doesn’t resent them one bit, saying it’s a nice dream when she thinks she’s imagined them saving her life… she thought it was her mind comforting her before her death, accepting her fate, rather than realizing it’s effectively a premonition of what will be reality… and when she realizes?! She initially reproaches them, looking mad, because she thought they abandoned their happiness for her! But no, things didn’t work out… this is where they’re meant to be: by each other’s side.

James also knows how much marriage means to her, even though he’s so traumatized by it, the word “fiance” triggers literal flashbacks for him and he climbed up a tree to get away from a teenaged girl who called him that. Yet, in XY episode 63, where she fell for Dr. White...

Kojiro: (with head down, eyes shadowed) If Musashi (Jessie) wants to pursue her happiness as a woman, shouldn't we give her our blessing?

Nyasu also had his misfortunes in love... they sympathize and empathize.

"Let's show her we're men and leave without saying anything..."

As Kojiro runs away, he sheds tears, wishing her happiness and bidding her farewell, silently. The scenes in these two episodes are clear parallels.

But in the end (including the final episodes, as rushed as that plotline was although I still loved Wobbuffet acting exactly like a troubled child of parents going through a messy divorce), they’ll always realize their happiness is by each other’s side as a trio.

"Sometimes you get good pulls, sometimes you get bad ones. Sometimes they're good, even if you think they're bad. Sometimes they're bad, even if you think they're good."

[puckinghischier]

Choices

Jack Hughes x fem!reader

summary: jack proves that he will always choose reader, no matter what anyone has to say

notes: so, the first part of this is literally my favorite thing i’ve ever written. the ending? meh. i don’t hate it, but i definitely think it could have been done better, i just struggle so hard with endings 😭. i also lowkey don’t like the title, but literally couldn’t think of a different one. anyways, i hope you enjoy!! happy reading! 🫶🏼

can be read as a part 2 to this fic, but can also be read by itself

request: Could you write something with Jack getting defensive/choosing her? Maybe he gets cornered by an ex flame or someone about what makes reader so special to get him to commit to a serious relationship when he didn't with her

[6.7k]

“Are you sure I don’t need to dress up tonight? I know you said they’re just some old family friends, but I want to make a good impression,” you question Jack, standing in front of the full-length mirror propped against the wall.

You’re wearing a pale, yellow sundress with daisies imprinted all across the fabric. Jack insisted the Lawsons were just old friends of the family, having owned the house down the street since he was just a kid.

Since meeting Jack’s family last year, you’ve been his plus one to every single trip he’s made home. At thanksgiving he brought you home for a quick, two day trip to meet his grandparents and a few pairs of aunts and uncles, before having to fly out again because of his game schedule. Around Christmas the two of you split your time, spending the actual holiday with your family, then flying to meet Jack’s family for New Year’s activities, where you met several cousins and old school friends of Jack’s.

This year, you’re celebrating the Fourth of July in Michigan, finally getting to experience the infamous Hughes lake house. Jack was able to convince you to spend an entire month here at the large house, telling you the trip was for the Fourth festivities, but suggesting you leave a few weeks beforehand, wanting you to get the full lake house experience.

You had spent your days switching between joining his family on the large pontoon boat sitting at the end of their dock and going out on adventures with Jack alone on the pair of Jet skis Quinn had bought after his first paycheck came in during his rookie year. A few nights a week, Jack would tell you to put on something nice, showing you around the small town a few miles away from the house, taking you to each of his favorite childhood spots for dinner.

One night he had told you to put on the nicest dress you brought, then proceeded to take you to an old, beach themed bar. He sat across from you at the high top table in a collared shirt and khakis, the rest of the patrons around you in their bathing suit cover ups or shorts and t-shirts.

You scolded him, telling him you two looked like fools in there, all dressed up to eat fried seafood. He laughed, telling you the only fool in the room was him, because he was “foolishly and wholly in love with you.” You rolled your eyes at his mushy-ness, a blush making its way to your cheeks at the same time.

That memory, however, is the reason you no longer trust Jack when he tells you to either dress up or dress down for dinners. Including tonight.

“I promise, you don’t have to dress up. You could wear your bathing suit for all I care,” he calls out from the bathroom where he’s ‘fixing’ his hair, which usually means brushing it and then ruffling it around with his hands. “I mean, mom might not be too happy if you’re sitting at the dinner table in just a bikini, but I’d sure enjoy the show.”

You scoff at his words, turning to go and stand in the doorway of the ensuite, crossing your arms.

“I’m being serious, J. I want to make a good impression on these people. They’re really good friends of your parents. Your mom was telling me how you all used to spend almost the entire summer together, constantly over at one another’s houses for dinner and fire talks,” you remember how excited Ellen was to be having her friends over for dinner tonight, claiming she hadn’t seen them in years because of how busy their lives had gotten.

Ellen also mentioned they had a daughter around your and Jack’s age who was in with her parents for the summer. Her name is Sarah and she’s a department director of some big advertisement company in New York. She stopped coming around as often around the same time Jack got drafted to the Devils, according to Ellen. Her job being too demanding for her to make the trip every summer.

You were excited to meet yet another person that knew Jack as a kid. You were hoping to rope a few stories out of her over the course of dinner, wanting to know as much as you can about Jack’s childhood from those around him. Sometimes you really hate the fact that you haven’t known Jack his whole life. You count yourself one of the luckiest people alive to be able to share his life with him now, but you’re always picturing him growing up, wanting to know every detail of what makes Jack, Jack.

Quinn and Luke are always eager to tell you anything you want to know about Jack, from the time he wanted to be “TP man” for Halloween and proceeded to wrap his entire body in toilet paper, wearing the empty rolls on his hands, to the time he wanted to ask his eighth-grade crush out on a date, but instead blurted out that he had to go home to massage their dad’s feet.

You always enjoyed hearing stories about him from people that weren’t his mischievous brothers, though. Like when his grandma told you about the time she got home to see that Jack had rearranged her kitchen cabinets, placing everything he saw her use on a regular basis closer to where she could reach it after watching her drop her favorite mug while trying to put it away on the second highest shelf that morning. Or when his best friend from high school told you about the time Jack gave him a ride home from practice, stopping in to say hello to his parents when Jack heard his little sister crying in her room because she couldn’t figure out her math homework. Jack stayed over for nearly two hours to help the little girl with her multiplication table and gave her words of encouragement the entire time.

You knew Jack was someone special, his calming energy easing your nerves from the first time you ever spoke to him. Hearing the stories that confirm he’s been this way his whole life, from the people that have known him far longer than you, though, makes you burst with so much love for the man you think your heart might actually explode one day.

“And I’m being serious, Sunshine, what you’re wearing is fine and won’t change the fact that they’re going to absolutely love you, just like everyone else does,” Jack walks over to stand in front of you.

You uncross your arms, letting them fall to your sides. Jack reaches down and takes each one of your hands into his, stepping forward slightly.

“I just…I care about how the people that know you view me. It’s important to me that the people important to you know that I love you, not that I’m just trying to ride on the back of some hot shot hockey player,” you whisper, referencing a blog post you were sent by one of your coworkers back in Jersey, asking if the girl in the picture was, in fact, you sitting on Jack’s lap in a crowded bar you went to for a post-game celebration.

The post talked about how you had been seen with Jack at a few games and were seen leaving several bars with him over the course of a few weeks early into your relationship. The blog site was a silly, hockey gossip blog, more concerned about who the players were sleeping with than any of the games themselves, but the accusation made your heart sink nonetheless. You knew you were with Jack for no reason other than you love him and he makes you feel safe, comfortable, and loved. Jack knows you’re not with him for his money, and anyone close to him knows you’re not with him for his money or fame.

He could quit hockey tomorrow and it wouldn’t change even an ounce of your feelings towards him. With or without hockey, he’s still your Jack. The Jack that makes you honey lavender tea every night because he knows it helps you sleep. The Jack that somehow manages to bring you flowers after every home game, no matter how late it is. The Jack that insisted you move in with him after your lease ended because his apartment is closer to your new job, but really because he was tired of not coming home to you every night. The Jack that showed up to your graduation this spring, bringing nearly his whole team and his family, the group cheering so loud when you walked across the stage everyone in attendance laughed, the person handing you your diploma commenting “sounds like you have a few fans out there.”

Even though you know that Jack knows, and his family knows, each time you meet someone new from his life, you feel the need to prove yourself. It’s part of the reason you were so anxious to meet his parents all those months ago. You worry that each person you meet has seen or read an article like the one you were sent. You worry they’ll think you’re not right for Jack, or that you’re only with him to get a taste of the popularity and lifestyle that comes along with his job. All you want is to show them how much you love him for him, and how you never want to leave his side.

Jack looks down at you, bringing your joined hands up to his mouth, pulling them together and kissing your knuckles.

“I promise you, no one here thinks that,” he starts, his words oozing with sincerity. “There is not a single person that matters to me in my life more than you. And absolutely no one’s opinion of you matters to me other than your own. Do you think you’re with me for the wrong reasons?” He asks you, waiting for you to answer him.

You shake your head no, breaking his eye contact.

“Hey, look at me,” he squeezes your hands that are still resting near his mouth, bringing your eyes back to his. “Then absolutely nothing else matters, okay? I know who you are, and you know who you are. Last time I checked, we’re the only two in this relationship, so that’s the only two people I’ll ever be looking to for opinions concerning my choices in this relationship, got it?”

You nod, a little embarrassed you were ever worried in the first place after his small speech, but still needing the hear his words nonetheless.

You’re still looking up at him, opening your mouth to tell him how much you love him when your stomach growls between the two of you, loud enough you nearly jump back.

Jack’s eyes flicker down to your stomach and back up to your eyes, the amusement in them making the blue shade shine even brighter.

“On that note, let’s go get you something to eat,” he chuckles, kissing your forehead before dropping one of your hands, the other still intwined with yours, pulling you out of the room behind him.

Jack led you down to the kitchen, digging around in the fridge to sneak you a snack before everyone sat down for dinner, knowing the meal wouldn’t be ready for at least another hour.

After he was satisfied that you weren’t going to starve, thanks to the small bowl of fruit he found, the two of you walked out to the back deck, joining everyone else.

The Lawsons had already arrived, Jim and Ellen standing on the other side of the large deck, conversing with Mr. and Mrs. Lawson separately.

Mrs. Lawson is a short, slim woman. Her hair is flawlessly styled into a ‘looks lazy but really took an hour’ up do, wearing a light purple, short sleeve pleated dress that fell just above her ankles, a simple pair of sandals on her feet.

Her husband is a tall man with salt and pepper hair, wearing a matching polo shirt and khaki shorts, a pair of Hey Dude brand shoes on his feet.

As soon as the two of you walked out onto the porch, Ellen was immediately halting her conversation to introduce you to the guests.

“Oh! There they are! Aren’t they just dolls? Look at them!” she gushed, walking over to greet the two of you.

You smile warmly at her, your relationship with Jack’s mom almost as dear to you as your relationship with your own. The two of you were able to sit and talk with one another during the hockey game her and Jim had come into town for the first time you met them. You both were invested in the game itself, considering all three Hughes boys were on the ice that night, but the intermissions were full of conversations and stories. You left the rink that night feeling like you had gained another mother, exchanging numbers with Ellen and promising to keep in touch. You now have weekly phone calls with Ellen, her interest in your life and well being matching that of her interest in her son’s.

“Mom, we literally saw you an hour ago on the boat, calm down,” Jack tells her, earning soft smack to his chest from you.

“Don’t be a grump, Jack. She’s telling us how good we look and you choose now to suddenly act like you don’t love being told you look pretty,” you scold.

Jack looks down at you with his mouth slightly open, putting on his best fake offended face.

“See, I told you she keeps him in check for me. Now I don’t have to carry the burden all by myself anymore,” Ellen tells Mrs. Lawson, earning a laugh from the woman standing just behind her.

You and Jack continue to have a small stare down until he conceded, choosing to flash a smile at you instead, sticking his tongue out like a child and earning a small giggle from you.

“Y/N, this is Deborah, but we all call her Deb. Deb, this is Y/N, my new baby girl,” Ellen breaks up yours and Jack’s moment, introducing you to Mrs. Lawson.

“Hi, it’s so nice to meet you Mrs. Lawson,” you say, removing your hand from Jack’s so you could step forward and give a small, greeting hug to the woman in front of you.

“Oh honey, Mrs. Lawson was my mother-in-law, please, call me Deb,” she tells you as she pulls back from the hug.

“Okay, Deb is it,” you laugh, stepping back beside Jack.

“C’mere, I need a hug from you too, Jack,” she motions Jack over to her, your boyfriend walking over to give her a slightly longer hug than you shared with her. “My, you’ve grown up, haven’t you? Last time I saw you, you were just getting ready to declare yourself draft eligible. Now look at you, the real deal.”

Jack blushes as he steps back towards you, knowing how shy he gets when complimented.

He may be cocky on the ice and in interviews, but you’ve learned that when it comes to the people that are close to him, Jack is extremely humble. He turns a light shade of pink any time you compliment how well he played after a game, or when his mom calls to tell him she watched his game on tv and cheered so loud she woke their cat up anytime he scored a goal.

“Just enjoy playing the game, is all,” he slips his hand back into yours. You give it a light squeeze.

“Ron, quit talking golf and get over here! Come say hi to Jack and his girlfriend!” Deb turns and shouts to her husband behind her. Both Mr. Lawson and Jim leave their spot by the heating grill and walk over to join your small group.

“Jack, how are ya, boy?” Mr. Lawson walks up, pulling Jack from your hold, bringing him in by his arm for what you call a ‘guy’ hug, each having one arm slug over the other’s shoulders, their clasped hands trapped between their chests.

“Getting by alright. Happy to have a bit of a break. Couldn’t wait to show Y/N here the ways of the lake house,” Jack motions to where you stand slightly behind him.

“Oh gosh, where are my manners. Hi, sweetheart, I’m Ron,” Mr. Lawson sticks his hand out towards you, shaking it softly.

“Hi, Jack’s told me a lot about you two. It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Lawson” you reference both of the Lawsons, repeating part of your greeting to Deb.

“Oh, no, Mr. Lawson is my father, I’m just Ron, dear,” he mirrors his wife’s earlier statement, stepping over to place his arm around her waist.

You chat with the couple a bit longer, noticing after a few minutes that Quinn and Luke are nowhere to be found. Neither was their daughter Ellen had mentioned earlier.

“Not to interrupt, but where are Quinn and Luke?” you ask just as Ellen finishes telling Ron and Deb about a recent cruise her and Jim had been on.

“Oh, they took Sarah out for a spin on the boat before dinner. She said she missed the water, so away they went,” Deb explains, looking over to Jack. “She’s so excited to see you again, Jack. She always talks about wanting to get across the bridge to see a game, but you know her, a workaholic and all.”

You sense a slight rigidness in Jack’s body language at the mention of Sarah. He responds with a simple “Yeah, that’s a shame,” not offering any other words about the mystery girl.

You were confused. You had thought Ellen said the boys were friends with Sarah growing up. Why did Jack tense up when she was mentioned? Had there been some sort of falling out? Was he not excited to see her? He hadn’t mentioned anything when you brought her up earlier, causing you to assume he just didn’t know much about her, having lost contact after they both were busy and didn’t have as much time to spend at the lake anymore.

As soon as Jack had finished speaking, you heard loud laughter coming from the long deck at the end of the house’s yard, seeing three figures quickly approaching the porch you were standing on.

“See, told you I could still beat you, just like when I was a kid!” you hear an unfamiliar voice call out, footsteps coming up the wooden stairs leading to the porch.

“Not fair, you didn’t tell me it was a race until you were already at the end of the deck,” you recognize the voice this time, Luke uttering his words between fast breaths.

As you look towards the stairs, you see one of the most beautiful women you’ve ever seen in your life step onto the porch.

She had jet black hair that fell to her mid back, perfectly pin straight. She had the greenest eyes you think you’d ever seen, and her tan skin was a shade that people usually had to be photoshopped to achieve. She was wearing a sundress similar to yours, but hers was a baby blue color, complementing her skin tone and hair perfectly. It fell right at her mid-thigh, and had a floral print running across the fabric.

“Hey, everyone. Hope we didn’t miss dinner,” she said, waltzing over to the wet bar to grab a bottle of water as Luke and Quinn make their way up the stairs, coming to stand a few feet from you and Jack.

“Oh, not even close, honey. You’re just in time. Your dad and Jim were just about to put the chicken on the grill,” Deb tells her daughter, beaming at her.

She walks over to join everyone, not stopping until she’s stood right in front of Jack.

“Oh, Jacky! I’ve missed you so much! It’s been so long!” she wraps him in a hug. His arms stay pinned to his sides, his body going rigid with discomfort. You notice the looks from Quinn and Luke, confused at their wide eyes.

He coughs, causing her to detach herself from his body, but not removing her hand from his shoulders.

“Well, that hockey training sure has been good to you, hasn’t it Jacky,” she continues, squeezing his biceps with a smirk before dropping her hands, completely ignoring you.

The second her hands leave his body, Jack is stepping back over to you, placing his hand on your waist.

“Uhh, Sarah, this is Y/N, my girlfriend. Y/N, Sarah,” Jack says, squeezing you to his side.

“Oh! You’re the new girlfriend my mom was telling me about. How sweet!” she coos, placing her hand on her chest. “Jack, she’s so pretty. But, what happened to Macey? You know, the one with the pretty blonde hair? Oh, and the absolute insane body. Seriously, I need her personal trainer’s number,” she asks, looking around at everyone.

You think about your brunette hair and know exactly what she’s trying to do.

“Not in the picture anymore. Didn’t really like the fact that she kept sticking her tongue down some Philly player’s throat when she came to visit me during an away game,” Jack spat out, grinding his teeth.

“What a shame. I liked her,” Sarah waved it off, making a small pout with her lips. “But, I’m sure you’re great too!” she added as an after thought, flashing the fakest smile you’ve ever seen.

You feel a presence step up behind you, Quinn slyly whispering “ex-girlfriend” in your ear, suddenly making Jack’s body language and her backhanded warmth towards you make sense.

“Okay, well, time to go get the food on the grill. Food will be ready in around thirty,” Jim claps his hands together, sensing the need to break up the awkward moment.

“Oh great, I’m absolutely starving,” Sarah exaggerates her last word, turning and walking towards the sliding glass door leading to the kitchen.

You stand there, not knowing how to process what just happened, Jack’s grip on you as tight as ever. You look over to Ellen, who gives you a sympathetic look.

“Oh, my sweet girl,” Deb sighs and shakes her head in amusement, completely oblivious to her daughter’s fake niceness and obvious flirting with Jack. “She’s something else, isn’t she? Such a little firecracker,” she reflects, nothing but adoration in her tone and on her face.

“Yeah, one that backfires into the innocent bystanders,” Quinn mumbles under his breath, earning a snort from Luke. Ellen shoots them a glare, darting her eyes towards Deb to see if she heard, but the older woman was still staring adoringly at her daughter in the kitchen through the glass doors.

Thirty minutes later, just like Jim announced, everyone was sat at the large outdoor table, food covering the large surface.

The food was amazing, the bowl of fruit from earlier long gone as you sat down to fill your plate, wanting seconds of almost everything.

“Jack, will you hand me the potato salad, I swear, I can’t get enough of it,” you ask your boyfriend who’s sitting to your right.

He reaches over and grabs the bowl, scooping a spoonful on to your plate for you. “That good? Or you want more?”

“No, that’s good. Gotta save room for dessert,” you tell him, picking up your fork to dig in.

Jack places his hand on your thigh, smiling over at the little happy dance you do when you scoop the potato salad into your mouth.

“Oh, I’m so full,” you hear Sarah say, raising her voice to make sure the whole table hears her. “I wish I could be like you, Y/N, I’d love to have seconds, but I just cannot hold another bite, I’m already so bloated as it is,” she places her hands over her stomach to emphasize. “You’re so lucky you’ve already snagged a man and don’t have to worry about watching what you eat anymore.”

You stop mid-chew, her words sinking in.

You look around the table, everyone looking at you. Deb and Ron are smiling at you, not at all reacting to their daughter’s words, likely not even understanding the connotation of what she just said. Ellen and Jim are looking at Sarah, their eyebrows raised in shock. Quinn is glaring at her while Luke’s mouth is dropped open.

Jack’s hand is digging into your thigh, his other hand closed, clenches in a tight fist on the tablet next to his glass of water.

You finish chewing your food and swallow thickly, placing your fork down and sliding your plate away from you.

“Oh, no, don’t stop on my account. I’d kill to be able to be as comfortable as you are. Not having to worry about impressing anyone anymore, just being able to know you’re loved, no matter what you look like,” she continues, taking a sip of her water to hide her smirk.

You bow your head, your face a shade of red you can physically feel, refusing to meet anyone’s eye.

Luke coughs, a faint “bitch” heard by your ears.

“Okay, I think it’s time we clear the table for dessert, shall we,” Ellen pipes up, her own smile strained.

“Great idea, let me help you,” Deb, either still oblivious or intentionally ignoring the hurtful nature of her daughter’s words, starts to stand.

“No, I got it,” Jack surprises you by standing, taking everyone’s plates and quickly stomping off of the porch.

You could feel the anger radiating off of him when Sarah was talking, probably choosing to leave the area before he said something he would regret.

“Here, let me help, too,” Sarah stands, taking a few food dishes in her hands and stepping inside behind Jack before anyone could protest.

The table is silent after she leaves. You sit there, debating on just sliding out of your seat and under the table, wanting to hide. Luke, who was sitting next to you, brings his hand over to rest on your shoulder, trying to provide some comfort.

You look over at him to see a concerned look as he mouths a silent “You okay?”, nodding your head yes, despite the heavy feeling in your stomach.

You look up again, straight at Sarah’s parents, wondering how they can be so ignorant about their daughter’s malicious words.

You meet Ellen’s eye, seeing a sad, pleading look, begging you to forgive her with her expression. You give her a small smile, shaking your head to tell her it’s alright.

Ron is the one to finally break the silence, looking around at everyone with a genuine smile, once again proving your suspicion they’re unaware of the shift in atmosphere.

“Ellen, please tell me you made your famous cheesecake. It’s been too long since I’ve had a slice,” he speaks, unable to read the room.

Ellen partakes in empty small talk with Deb and Ron about how she makes her cheesecake when you decided you need to go check on Jack.

“I’ll be right back. I’m gonna go help Jack,” you say flatly, standing from your seat and all but running inside, the urge to walk over and shake the Lawsons while shouting “your daughter’s a bitch!” in their face your cue to leave the table.

You enter the kitchen, seeing the dishes both Sarah and Jack brought in littering the counter, but neither one of them was to be found in the spacious area.

You walk through the house, calling out Jack’s name softly as you pass the stairs, making your way to the small sitting room at the front of the house.

“Jack, I don’t get it. What does she have that I don’t? What about her makes her any better than me?” you hear the sound of Sarah’s voice coming from the foyer.

“What the hell do you mean? Everything! She has everything you don’t!” you hear Jack exclaim, stopping in your tracks.

Were they talking about you?

“Jack, we were good together! We had fun. I don’t understand why you ended things between us. Hell, I took a job in New York because you said you were probably going to New Jersey to play. We could have been the new it couple of New Jersey!” it was Sarah’s turn to raise her voice.

Jack shakes his head, a dry laugh making its way out of his mouth. “What part of I didn’t want to don’t you understand?” Jack spits out. “You had fun. You chose to move to New York. You thought were good together. There was never any we in any of that.”

You can practically see the veins popping out on Jack’s forehead through his tone, even though they were out of view.

“All you ever cared about when we were together was the fact that I was about to play professional hockey. You didn’t care about me, you just cared about what I could offer you!” he shouts again. “The fact you just admitted you cared more about being the “it” couple more than you cared about wanting to be with me proves it.”

“Well, sue me for wanting to live the life of the rich and famous,” Sarah says, scoffing.

“See, that’s what I’m talking about,” Jack huffs out. “Y/N doesn’t care about living the life of the rich and famous. She just wants me. She wants Jack, not ‘Jack Hughes, star forward, number one overall draft pick’,” he puts on his announcer voice.

“All my life, people have only ever cared about how well I played hockey. Every coach, every teammate, every girl. They all saw me as a hockey player. They wanted me on their team, or in their bed, because they wanted what came with me: attention and popularity,” Your heart breaks at Jack’s voice, never having heard him sound so deflated before.

“Hell, you introduced me to people as a future professional hockey player before you ever introduced me to them as your boyfriend,” he continues. “With Y/N, that’s far from the most interesting thing about me. When she first introduced me to her family, she told them I was her best friend’s brother,” he refers back to the first time you took him home to meet your family, the subject of hockey not coming up until your dad asked if he liked sports, only to berate him for not being a football player. Later that night he asked him how hockey worked. Your dad has never missed a Devils game since, either in person or on tv.

“Her favorite fun fact to tell people about me isn’t a stat, or how many hat tricks I’ve scored,” he keeps going. “It’s that I love to sing Shakira when I’m in the shower. Or that I’m the only other person other than her dad that has ever made her laugh so hard water has come out of her nose,” Jack lightly laughs.

“Hey, Y/N, everything okay-“ you hear Quinn’s voice rounding the corner.

Cutting him off with a “shhh” you place your finger on your mouth to tell him, and Luke who trails behind him, to be quiet, pointing to the sitting room where Jack and Sarah are arguing.

“So, yeah, I would say I’m sorry you didn’t get what you wanted out of me, but I’m not. I’m not sorry that I broke things off with you. I’m not sorry that I found someone that actually loves me for who I am. And I’m not sorry that I brought the woman that I plan on marrying here with me, and you just so happened to be here too,” Jack tells her, his voice still holding a slight trace of anger.

“I am sorry that I never told my parents what really went down between us, telling them we just agreed it would be too hard and we needed to go back to being friends, because maybe they wouldn’t have invited you over tonight. I am sorry that I didn’t take Y/N out for dinner, trying to avoid what’s happening right now. I am sorry that you can’t begin to fathom someone can see through your forced smiles and backhanded comments, seeing how cold and rotten you really are on the inside. And I am sorry that your poor, sweet parents were given such a malicious bitch as a daughter,” He finishes.

“You know, my mom said Ellen told her you showed her a ring, but I thought it was just a gift. You’re really going to propose to her?” Sarah asks, annoyance clear in her voice, spitting out her last word with unmistakeable disgust.

“Of course it’s true. Bought the ring months ago, been carrying it around with me every since. Showed mom the night she met her, told her I was serious about her and that she’s the one. I think part of me knew that from the moment I met her,” you hear Jack say, hearing the tenderness in his voice when the subject turns to you.

Your head whips over to Luke and Quinn, your eyes wide and your mouth handing open. The panicked look on their faces is all the confirmation you need to know that you heard Jack right. He bought you a ring. He bought you a ring and showed his mom. He bought you a ring and showed his mom and was going to propose to you.

Before you know what you’re doing, your body is leading you to the entryway where your boyfriend is arguing with his ex-girlfriend.

“Y/N, no, wait,” Quinn tries to stop you, but it’s too late.

“You bought me a ring?” you ask as you enter the room, seeing Jack and Sarah standing several feet apart from each other.

“Oh, great, the woman of the hour,” Sarah rolls her eyes at you, throwing her arms up and letting them fall to her side.

You shoot her a glare, not at all concerned about her comments from earlier anymore.

You turn your head to Jack, who’s face looked as panicked at Luke and Quinn’s.

“Jack, you said you bought me a ring. Is that true?” you ask him, begging him to answer you.

Jack gulps, nodding his head yes.

“Right…” is all you can say, trying to digest what’s happening.

You look back and forth between Jack and Sarah, your gaze finally landing on the unimpressed one of Sarah.

“Listen, I don’t care what happened between you and Jack however many years ago, but I don’t appreciate you coming to his family’s house and acting like a nasty bitch to me because you got dumped and I’m the one getting the ring,” you tell her, earning a shocked scoff from her. “So, if you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you took your nasty attitude and sad insecurities out of this house and elsewhere. I have something I need to discuss with the man that chose me .”

You hear the faint snorts of Quinn and Luke behind you, while Jack’s face moves from panicked to shocked as he looks between the two of you.

“God, you don’t have to ask me twice. All of this melodrama is giving me a headache. You’re not worth this. I can get any guy from the Knicks roster, I don’t need to waste my time on hockey players anymore,” Sarah says before she storms out of the room.

You watch her go, giving her a sweet smile and a wave on her way out.

“That was…the hottest thing I’ve ever seen you do,” Jack tells you, walking over to where you stood.

You roll your eyes at him, hitting him in the chest once he gets close enough to you.

“Ow! What was that for?” Jack asks you, rubbing where you thumped him

“For not telling me that Sarah was your ex-girlfriend when I was telling you how excited I was to meet her earlier” you exclaim while looking up at him, poking him in the chest with each word

“I didn’t want you to feel like you had anything to be worried about and get even more in your head about this dinner,” he tells you, grabbing your finger and pushing your hand down to your side.

“Yeah, well a lot of good that did,” you roll your eyes, bringing your hand up to softly smack his chest again.

“God, woman, stop hitting me!” Jack yelps again. “What the hell was that one for?”

“For buying me a ring only a few months into our relationship! And then for not telling me you were going to propose, you idiot!” you exclaim, throwing your arms around.

“Well, I don’t know if you know this or not, but most proposals are usually a surprise,” he tells you, grabbing your arms and holding them apart, preventing you from hitting him again.

“Still. Why would you buy it so soon into us dating, Jack? What if you ended up hating me once we hit six months, or you found out I snored and decided you didn’t want to share a bed with me for the rest of your life?” you ask him, earning a laugh from your boyfriend.

“I knew that you were it from the moment I met you. There’s absolutely no chance of me ever getting sick of you, or hating you,” Jack tells you honestly, the intensity behind his eyes causing you to believe his words. “Also, you do snore, and I think it’s cute, don’t worry.”

You try to hit his chest again, but your arms are still being held by his hands.

“So, is this a good time for me to say I never really liked Sarah,” Luke chimes in, reminding you that him and Quinn are standing in the entrance of the room.

“Luke, you’re such an idiot,” Quinn tells him, flicking him on the back of his curly head.

“What? It’s true. I liked Y/N the second I met her, but Sarah was always just a bitch,” Luke rubs the back of his head as he speaks. “Why do you think Quinn and I took one for the team and took the wicked witch out on the boat so we could keep her out of your hair for as long as possible?”

“Thanks, Luke,” you chuckle, shaking your head.

“Well, I guess it’s time to tell mom that she knows you’re proposing,” Quinn says, looking towards Jack.

“Oh, no, no one is going to know that she knows. I had this whole thing planned out, and I’m not letting Y/N ruin her own proposal,” Jack says, finally letting go of your hands.

“Do I at least get to see the ring?” you ask him, hopeful.

“Nope,” Jack shakes his head, popping the ‘p’.

You huff, crossing your arms and looking at him with a pout, until you remember his words from a few minutes before.

“Wait, you told Sarah you carry the ring with you everywhere, does that mean it’s here? In this house?” Jack’s face falls, eyes looking anywhere but your own.

“No…”

Your face lights up, looking towards the stairs before back at Jack, turning and making a run for your room.

“Oh no, you don’t!” he runs after you, catching up to you in no time.

He grabs you by your torso and swings you around, sitting you back at the bottom of the stairs as he guards them.

“Not fair, your stupid hockey speed and reflexes can shove it,” you pout again.

As you stand at the bottom of the stairs, Quinn and Luke watch the two of you, admiring how perfect the two of you are for each other.

Luke thinks back to when he decided to introduce you to his older brother, knowing he made the right decision, the two of you bringing out the best versions of the other.

And when he stands, hidden with his family as he watches his brother get down on one knee, proposing to the girl that stood at the bottom of the stairs, demanding to see her ring, he knew sneaking into Jack’s room and moving the ring to his own room was the right move, the shock on your face worth the two week long silent treatment you gave him when you found out what he had done.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

hello!! could i request how the sdv bachelors would react to finding out the farmer has a big plushy collection they have to share a bed with? :3

Yeah :3

Thank you for your ask, dear anon! Enjoy 💕

_________________________________________

Alex:

Alex doesn't remember any toys except for his shabby grid ball (thanks to abusive dad who drank all the money). His mom bought this ball and played with him whenever she was free. Good times... He was grateful even for that old ball and mom's care.

So he's a little unaccustomed among all Farmer's plushies. It's so... unusual.

But the way Farmer sweetly hugs their plushie, immediately melted the athlete's heart, though there was a residue of sadness about his childhood.

Which, however, doesn't stop him from teasing his partner/spouse a little.

"Hehehe, honey, are you still sleeping with your toys?" *Sincerely envies them, but won't admit it out loud*

*And won't admit a photo of him snuggled up with some of their plushies* ("Farmer, you betrayed me!" "Heh.." 💕).

Sam:

Oh, Sammy used to sleep with a lot of plushies, too. He grew out of them then, though, and gave many of the toys to Vincent... He still have some plushies.

"Whoa, I remember that bunny! Mom gave me one just like it, only mine was black. And I won an alpaca just like this one at a fair about eight years ago." Memories, aaaaa!

Totally doesn't mind sleeping with Farmer surrounded by plushies. Even uses some as a pillow (Farmer doesn't mind).

Although he accidentally drops half of the plush toys on the floor (headcanon that Sam is active even while asleep).

Farmer doesn't give snuggles? Sam pretends to be offended and hugs their teddy bunny, showing Farmer "what they're missing" (they give in and give Sam more snuggles before farm work).

Sebastian:

The photo of Sebastian, dressed in all black, lying stone-faced among a dozen pink plush bunnies, became an iconic meme all over the Stardew Valley. Heck, this meme became popular throughout the Ferngill Republic. He became an internet star, hee hee...

Sebastian's actually pretty chil about Farmer's plushies, to be honest. Even thinks it's a very cute quirk of his partner.

Especially since Farmer has plush frogs in his collection! 🐸 Sebastian also has a plush frog, don't ask why, but he can show Farmer too if they want to see.

The local emo is now sure of what gift is sure to make Farmer happy.

With one look, he'll scare whoever somehow finds out about Farmer's collection and teases them. Especially if it is a frog plushie.

Elliott:

Oh my, Farmer's got a huge collection of stuffed animals. They must have been collecting for a long time. And the condition of the plushies is very well preserved - you can tell they've been cared for.

Elliott was interested to hear about where and how Farmer got these plushies. Maybe each of plushies has a story behind them.

He's a little dubious about sleeping with plushies, though, because there are a lot of them. Like, a LOT. So much so that the writer didn't see his favourite person under the pile of plush.

So Farmer will only have to take some of it to bed with him (hopefully the others won't take offence).

Elliott is literally that "Ah yes, me, my spouse, and their huge collection of soft toys." meme. As it is, he doesn't mind at all.

Harvey:

That's petty adorable. Although Harvey wonders to Farmer, do they really sleep with those plushies every day? Because it might not be very comfortable. Plus he's worried about his their uncomfortable sleeping position, and...

Ah, excuse him. Harvey can't take his doctor's hat off, even in a farm house.

He's a little uncomfortable sleeping with Farmer surrounded by all those toys, after all.

One time Harvey nearly had a heart attack because a huge plush bunny's face was staring at him in his sleep (without glasses, the doctor thought it was a monster).

But also sometimes, when he comes back from a hard day's work at the clinic, he's tired and falls right into a pile of toys. Yoba, they're so soft.

Shane:

"Here we go, Shane. These are my plushies." "Our plushies." "Huh?" Shane lay down on the bed, and the stuffed animals plopped down in a slide on top of him. "Our plushies."

Who would have thought Shane would be taken in by such a Farmer's quirk. He'd never looked so relaxed.

Embarrassed? Why would he? Nobody should give a shit that Farmer still has a collection of cuddly plushies. Farmer shouldn't give a shit about other people's opinions either.

Although Shane had virtually no toys as a child (as in, no normal childhood), he was often surrounded by teddy bears, foxes and other animals (because he was a frequent guest at Jas's tea parties).

Chicken man thinks it's sweet that Farmer still sleeps and talks to stuffed toys. So yeah, no problem with that.

[zahri-melitor]

The Circus

Jack suggesting they take Tim to the circus when it came to town was a big ask. Performances usually took two hours or more. Even with an interval, they’d barely managed to take Tim to the movies yet without Janet having to take him out in the middle. And this was an environment where if she took him out it would still be overstimulating, with the carnival all around them.

Jack was an optimist. And not the one who’d be dealing with a screaming Tim, Janet thought grumpily to herself. But Jack was also all for it, telling her stories of his childhood memories seeing clowns and jugglers and lions roaring. And it was something they could do as a family.

Luckily, there was a tv special about circuses on that night, including footage of a number of acts. Janet set it up to record on a tape, so she could talk Tim through the process before they went.

*

Tim had been a warm lump buried into her side on the couch, fascinated by the recording. She’d skipped through the video, just stopping at each of the performances.

“We’re going to go to the circus, Tim, and see acts like these. Do you see the clown juggling? We might see that. Or here’s some trapeze artists, swinging like you do on a swing. Look at their tricks!”

“They go upside down!” Tim seemed entranced.

“Isn’t that clever of them?” And here’s an elephant. Look how big the elephant is!”

“Wooaaah.”

*

Janet’s preparation had worked. Tim seemed fascinated by the sights and sounds and smells of the circus, and didn’t hide behind her when they took him over to meet some of the performers before the show, to make everything feel easier to relate to. One of the acrobats had crouched down to Tim’s height and shook his hand, saying he’d look for Tim in the crowd, while Tim giggled.

“I told you this was a good idea, Jan,” said Jack, looking at Tim getting himself sticky on cotton candy. “It’s so much easier to be able to take Tim with us when we go out.”

“You were right. I was worrying too much,” conceded Janet, as she watched Tim try to feed some of the cotton candy to an elephant. “And it is nice to go places as a family.”

Things continued going really well…right up until the moment they didn’t.

As Janet carried a wailing child out of the tent, through the screams and the hysterics all around them, his snotty nose mushed against her shoulder, soaking through the fabric, she gritted her teeth. At least Tim was so small he wouldn’t remember. Or understand.

*

The night terrors had her up and resettling Tim down for weeks. It was the worst case of sleep regression she’d had to deal with since Tim was 6 months old. The parenting books had said this would stop happening now he was almost three. But eventually, as every other time, it passed, and Tim wasn’t climbing into their bed and clinging for comfort every night, and he (and Janet!) were able to return to sleeping through the night.

*

Later, when Janet thought about it at all, the idea that seeing a clown would be a happy bonding experience between parent and child made her shudder.

*

They were out of VCR tapes and going out for the evening, and she wanted to record Dallas. Janet sighed, and went to look at the pile of recordings Tim hoarded. Surely there was something in here that he’d outgrown and wouldn’t miss. If she asked him, it would become a whole drama as he insisted that every single tape was special and he couldn’t possibly give it up, but there had to be an old recording of Sesame Street buried at the bottom or so.

Crocky. Crocky. (Tim was still mildly obsessed with Crocky). A recording of Robin Hood. The Jungle Book. Mr Wizard. He-Man. Another Crocky… she stopped and squinted at the next tape. The spine label read ‘circus’ in her own neat handwriting, but Janet couldn’t recall any TV shows or movies that matched that, and she was sure she’d never seen Tim watching anything about a circus.

Janet inserted the tape into the VCR. It started halfway through, in the middle of an interview with some circus performers sitting to one side of a stage. The performers were wearing red and green leotards.

It clearly wasn’t anything that Tim would watch, and Janet wondered how on earth it had gotten mixed up in the pile of Tim’s videos.

He wouldn’t miss this one.

*

“Mom?”

Tim came up to her in the kitchen, as she was putting away some dishes. “Yes, sweetheart?” He looked distressed.

“Did you take one of my tapes? Only Dad said he didn’t and it’s missing…”

“Oh, Tim, I’m sorry. We were out of tapes and I’ve never seen you watch that one. Was it special to you?” It was important to acknowledge your child’s emotions, Janet repeated to herself, even if said child had never shown any attachment to the object right up until 30 seconds ago.

Tim shifted from foot to foot, looking uncomfortable. “It’s just that that one was my tape. And now I can’t get it back.” His eyes started to fill with tears. Oh no. “You should have asked, Mom.”

“I am sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Tim stared at the floor, digging the edge of one shoe into a line of tile grout. “No. They won’t show that program again.” He sounded downcast. “If you’d asked I could have told you which tape was okay!”

“I’ll do that next time,” Janet promised. Tantrum seemed averted. Please.

*

Later that evening, Tim was sitting on the floor of the living room, playing with trucks, when Jack flipped over to the History Channel.

“Are you sure you want to watch ancient aliens again, dear?” Janet asked Jack. The historical inaccuracies grated at her, given her archaeological training.

“It’s hilarious, Jan. The people writing these shows have clearly never been to a dig in their life.”

Tonight however the next show wasn’t ancient aliens or Atlanteans or Bigfoot trackers; it was someone tracking their local cryptids and showing blurry video footage of various criminals and the Bat-Man. Jack was obsessed with this sort of thing, and was laughing at the grainy footage.

Janet saw Tim look up from his trucks for a moment and seem caught, eyes wide, the light from the television screen playing across his face, as he watched fast-moving costumes spin and flip across the screen.

[thethirdfrogbrother]

A Short Simon Snow Character Analysis:

"Simon needed time. He needed care. He still startled at bright lights and sudden noises. And prolonged eye contact. He'd get jumpy when we were alone together." (Any Way The Wind Blows pg 85)

"On the worst days, on the even worse nights, I used to think about all the bad things that have happened to Simon– just the ones I know about. And then I'd wonder about all the terrible things that have happened to him that I DON'T know about. Twenty years of bad things. How long would it take for those painful memories to die back?" (Any Way The Wind Blows pg 86)

Simon is genuinely one of the saddest chosen ones I've ever read about, and I feel like its ignored by the fandom a lot. Like the book series is always portrayed as funny and light hearted and it is sometimes but at the root it's sad and heart wrenching. However, it's also really creative and has a tone of parallels and connections and like the whole concept of the chosen one fulfilling his purpose and no longer being needed anymore isn't used often. A lot of the times the Chosen one's issues aren't even addressed at ALL its just "Oh he went through a lot as a child but the bad guy is dead now and he got the girl (or guy) so it's fine, he's happy"

Simon was used by everyone his whole life. The Mage, the rest if the world of mages, even Penny and Agatha a bit too, (which Penny realizes and admits in AWTWB). Simon was left as a child at an orphanage where we really don't know much about his life, because he doesn't know much either. In Wayward Son, Simon talks to his therapist about not remembering a lot before he was 11 and she says the brain blocks out things that have traumatized or hurt us in the past. When Simon is 11 and comes to Watford, he speaks so little the teachers have to give him private lessons, and when that doesn't work he gets a speech therapist. A few other details a are given as well such as how Simon jumped from orphanages and Foster homes. All these allow us to infer that he didn't have a good childhood, and stuff probably happened to him.

The Mage becomes Simon's only father figure, and even then Simon says he never felt like a father. The Mage treated Simon like a weapon, and even lied to him about being his father. The Mage could have made things much easier for himself by raising Simon, but he chose to just leave him till he was 11 because he didn't feel like raising his own kid. "Maybe it's part of what the Mage did to me. He said he got me wrong, that I was a cracked vessel. I can't hold on to anything good." (AWTWB pg 65) the Mage only payed attention to Simon when it benefited him. Simon was an object to him, and if you remember in Carry On, it was obvious to literally everyone but Simon, who didn't want to believe he was being manipulated. It turned him into a killing machine.

Often times I feel as if the fandom portrays Simon as some talkative goofball, but that's completely ignoring his character. Simon says in Carry On that he doesn't think because in the end he just does what people tell him too. But that's not true. He does think, all the time, he just pushes away the stuff he doesn't want to think about, thinking about other things to muffle out these unwanted thoughts. Baz also says in Carry On that most conversations with Simon are just Simon shrugging. We feel as though Simon talks a lot because when it's his POV he's always rambling, but this is because Simon has a strong inner monolouge.

Simon had no adult figures in his life to lean on. Every character had someone, despite their maybe complex relationships. Baz has Fiona, and the two are close despite the tension and arguing. Penny has her mom and dad, despite their differences, they all love each other a ton. And Agatha has her parents, who do care about her. Simon never has a firm foundation. Not the Mage, Penny's mom barley likes him, Agatha's family only treats him well because he's the chosen one and dating Agatha, and Baz's family straight up despises him. Everyone else also has friends to lean on too, once you get later into the series. Agatha has a Ginger and even Penny, Penny has Baz and Shepard, Baz has Dev and Niall whom he chooses to sort of ghost, but also Penny. And they all have Simon. But I couldn't help but notice that whenever Simon tried to communicate, he was shut down.

Simon is bad at communicating. They all address this multiple times. But it's the fact that his friends don't even have faith that he'll survive. Multiple times from all POVS it talks about how everyone expected Simon to die, and they're all talking about how they would feel and how it affects them knowing that, but no one ever asked Simon. And Simon is aware of this too, but he just once again ignores it. No one wants a hero who's scared to die for his cause. Simon is shit at communication, but he has his own ways of showing that at least something IS wrong, that Penny and Baz have learned how to read, yet ignore when it's not convenient. Baz and Penny take Simon on a trip out to America, but it wasn't about Simon. Penny had ulterior motives, to see Micah and Agatha. Then the whole situation happened there, and though obviously Baz had nothing going on with Lamb, it clearly made Simon insecure and upset. But Baz just gets annoyed at him for it instead of trying to figure out the root of the issue.

A scene that always irked me in WS is the one where Simon comes back with his hair cut, after months of neglecting it because of his depression. And Baz says nothing, because he's too busy feeling sorry for himself. This may have seemed like a small thing but Simon literally couldn't leave the couch, for almost a year. His self hatred and issues were so bad he couldn't get up. So he finally makes this step, cutting his hair, trying to get better...and Baz basically ignores it.

Another thing is the end if WS when they're on the beach. Simon is trying to say how he feels, in his own way. That he isn't good enough for Baz, Baz should find someone else. And Baz just shuts him down, like he always does. Like he always does when Simon tries to communicate his feelings about being the chosen one, and what happened with the Mage. Then they get back to England, and Baz just acts like nothing happened. Simon shouldn't have ignored all his texts, and shouldn't have moved out leaving just a note, but he doesn't know how to communicate. No one taught him how to do this, all he knows is he needs to figure his shit out and no one currently in that situation, was really helping him.

I see a lot of people hating on AWTWB because Simon and Baz break up, because their relationship is admittedly toxic, and then get together the next day. But I think it makes perfect sense. They both love each other so so much, and they have an unhealthy attachment. Often with toxic relationships, especially when we love each other and want them to work out, we keep coming back in hopes of fixing things. Both boys have severe abandonment issues, and they don't want to loose each other.

I also see people hating on WS and AWTWB because Baz and Simon aren't all happy. Like legit, that is why I see those books getting the most hate. But it makes sense. People's pasts have an effect on them and how they behave. Simon killed the only father figure really he'd ever had. And he still doesn't understand the extent of abuse said man put him through. Simon doesn't know how to put himself first. Like when they're fighting the vampire's in WS, and simon is on the brink of death, he STILL stands up because that's what people have expected him to do all his life. Baz wants everything to be okay and happy and ignore their issues, because that's what they've done his whole life in his family, ignoring problems like him being a vampire. And what Simon desperately needs is to approach his, but he doesn't know how deep his issues run, except that he's a broken, fucked up, mess. He has ptsd, depression, and anxiety, and doesn't know how to help himself.

Overall, Simon's character holds a complexity that often times I see ignored. The story is romantic, and cute. I love Snowbaz as much as the next person. But you can't fully appreciate the story until you actually understand the depth of the characters, especially starting with Simon Snow.

Thank you, have a nice day <3

[monzamash]

say yes to life — daniel ricciardo

daniel ricciardo x you (femreader) | 2.2k summary – a trip down memory lane. warnings – 18+ (sex, coarse language) prompt – 'you look good like this' from @percervall 💖 a/n – the third instalment of the #monzamashspecial and exists in the red desert universe (throwback to where this little blog began) x title inspired by the gang of youths song. masterlist

You wanted so badly to go back to the place you fell in love with him. Missing the way the campfire smoke blowing in the wind made your eyes water and the screams of elation coming from the water out in the distance. Daniel loved so freely; pottering around the campsite making sure everyone was happy, content, having the time of their lives. Especially you.

The two of you had only been seeing each other for a few months, a whirlwind romance turning all the traditional rules of dating on their head. He wanted to see you in his world, away from the lavish hotels and the fast-paced lifestyle that you both hated so much. Away from civilisation as you knew it, with him, alone in the wilderness with a case of Dry, singing around bonfires and sharing kisses hidden under the stars.

No manmade structures as far as the eye could see – just the handsome man who had picked you up and swept you off your feet to the other side of the world. Returning home.

“It’s so serene out here… Peaceful.”

Your unspoken wish was to stay out here forever with him, tasting the sea salt on his lips and feeling the sand beneath your sunburnt feet. Even though it was quintessentially Daniel, right down to the number 3 painted on the side of his buggy, it also felt like you. Like you belonged in his world, the missing part to life's puzzle.

Somehow, he had found you amongst the chaos, in the hoards of people taking everything from him. Every ounce of energy he had to give. But you never took anything. And he knew in that moment that this place would never feel the same without you in it.

You were his home.

“I knew you would love it.”

He whispered it into your windswept hair as you walked along the coast, hand in hand, watching his nieces and nephew splashing in the shallow water; zinc covering every inch of their little faces.

Daniel had promised you a night alone together before you left Perth for your road trip to Coral Bay, wording up his brother in law that the two of you would be sneaking off down the coast for some alone time.

I wanna show her everything, man; he'd confessed, feeling the pressure to make every second count, right down to the minute. You were laid-back and much to his surprise, his exact energy match but he wanted you to know him. Like, really know him. He wanted to tell you all of his silly little stories like the time he nearly cut his toe open on that rock over there, or when he swore he saw the ghost of Harold Holt out beyond the rip. He wanted to share it all with you.

And while he was worried about giving you the full Daniel Ricciardo experience, you were just basking in the chance to get to know him like this. God, it felt personal, intentional the way he pointed out little fishing spots that he and his dad would sit all day in the summer holidays, chasing the shade and shooting the shit; almost always catching nothing.

“One time I caught a crayfish but it was undersize so had to throw it back… Absolute heartbreak and I lied to everyone at school when we got back in Jan – said it was this big.”

Daniel held his arms out as wide as they would go, chest out and a smile as bright as the glowing sun above, “They all saw straight through me.”

Those small, insignificant stories he thought he was telling meant the world to you. It was a glimpse into the life of a man you were falling in love with, getting closer and closer to with each passing moment. They were off the cuff tales of his childhood, mentions of Michelle and his mum making lime cordiale icy-poles, homemade no less and each one made you smile wider. Buzzing with the thought that maybe, right now, you were making memories that you would pass down to your kids.

Someday.

“Are you ready for this?”

“Maybe we should have a safe word…”

“The same one we use when we...”

You didn’t need to stop his sentence, knowing that he knew better than to finish it with his 8-year-old nephew sitting on his lap – the smirking face showing his hand. The deadpanned look you were giving him made him laugh as he leaned down and turned on the van, shoving the gear stick into place so you didn’t plummet to your death down the cliffside.

The feeling was evergreen when you casted your mind back to that day, remembering the way Jonty jumped down from Daniel’s lap and all your travel companions waved you off, hollering I miss you already and don’t get lost as the two of you drove off into the red desert, even further from civilisation. You'd all been joined at the hip for over a week now, the idea of going it alone terrified you - until you remembered that all you needed was sitting right beside you.

Ready to show you what real adventure meant.

And boy, was it an adventure, weaving through saltbushes and spotting kangaroos from the passenger seat.

“Reckon you could fight one?” You’d ask Daniel, curious to know where the boundaries of his confidence lie, “Easy.” And part of you believed him – he could do it all, fearless as he drove up and over salt plains, making you squeal as the van hopped up a 90 degree cliff, all you could see was the clear blue sky above.

“You trust me, yeah?” He asked, looking down at your hand white knuckling his thigh, long nails digging into his bare skin. I do, you whispered with conviction because you did. Wholeheartedly, but that didn’t mean your heart wasn’t in your throat the entire time, wheels screeching as the van bumped it’s way over the ledge, revving red dirt and creating a cloud of dust.

“We’re here,” Daniel cheekily announced as the dust settled and you were met with a picturesque view of the ocean – waves crashing into the cliff side, already lulling your racing heart. It was adrenaline, pure and simple. You were dazed and confused until you felt Daniel’s hand on yours, clasping your fingers with his and asking if you were okay.

You were more than okay.

“I am… that was exhilarating.”

You were wide-eyed, stunned at how beautiful it all was; how beautiful he was. You didn’t even think twice, frantically unbuckling your belt and launching yourself over the console into Daniel’s body. He could see in your eyes how charged up you were when he grasped your face in his hands, desperate to have you close after a couple of long hours of driving. You melted into his kiss until your knee accidentally nudged the gear stick, lurching the van forward.

“Fuckin’ hell!” Daniel gasped, a loud laugh following closely behind as you held onto him for dear life. Whoops, he chuckled as he turned the van off and grabbed a handful of the flannel material hanging loosely over your shoulders, matching his. In one smooth motion, he was dragging you over the gear stick again; carefully this time and making sure you were settled in his lap before he captured your lips in a strong kiss, continuing what you started.

“What a view.”

Daniel’s compliments always made you blush, still to this day but back then they washed over you like a wave of reassurance, that he felt the same way – desperately in love. Almost. They were never obnoxious or over the top, just small little words of affirmation sealed with a kiss to some inch of your skin, noses brushing from the nearness. And now every time you felt the tip of his nose tracing down your neck, breath hot on your skin, you remember that day. Like it was yesterday. The way his hands pushed up your shirt, fingertips searing across your hips and holding you up so you could really feel him.

“Thought about this all week,” He whispered as your hand made quick work of his jeans, shimming him out of the thick denim and the boxers hugging his delicious hips. Me too, you barely hummed as you arched your back and tried to rid yourself of your own shorts, accidentally pushing back on the horn and making the two of you erupt in laughter.

Daniel wrapped one arm around your waist and leaned to look under his seat, roughly pulling a lever that sent him backwards and you forward over his shoulder, a quiet squeak slipping from your lips. He could do it all and looked even sexier doing it.

“That’s better, ey?” He asked, grinning from ear to ear as he leaned back in his seat and slid his warm hands under your shirt, squeezing your sides so that you knew he had you. Always.

“Much,” You simply sighed as your fingers danced down his own buttoned up flannel shirt. One by one, each button revealed more and more of his strong chest, mouth agape at the sight of the man you were falling for, head over heels. He did the same to yours, pushing the soft material from your shoulders and reaching behind your back, unclasping the latch on your cotton bra, the feeling of his fingertips sliding it from your warm skin sending chills down your spine.

“You look good like this.”

That was the first time he muttered those words to you but now it was something he told you every single day. They were the first words he would whisper in your ear in the morning as the dawning sun-rays stretched across your rosy cheeks and they were sometimes the last words he’d groan into your neck as he came undone above you, shortly before you fell asleep wrapped up in his arms. “You look so good.”

“Show me,” You whispered against his parted lips, “Show me how good I look.” It was a simple request, one you hoped to god he would fulfil. It was your first time having sex in the driver’s seat of a car, but not your last as it happened. Daniel was nimble, able to shimmy himself into the perfect position, teasing you with his slick tip, glazed with the promise of you wrapped around him. It turned out that he loved taking you like this; in a van, in his HiLux, on the back of a motorbike but especially in his Porsche. Seats back, windows steamy.

You were two pieces of a puzzle, cut from the same cloth and it made you emotional thinking back to the early days. The way his cologne mixed with your perfume was like an amalgamation of pure love, the scent to this day making your heart flutter. And it always transported you back to that day in the van, so many years ago now. The taste of his tongue colliding with yours as he swallowed you whispered moans, hyper aware of how pin-drop quiet your surroundings were. There was nothing but ocean and desolate land each way – solus.

“No ones here, darlin’ – we can be as loud as we want,” Daniel reassured you, circling you back and forth on his cock, filling you to the absolute limit as you held onto the steering wheel behind you, needing to grip something as he set your body alight.

“Don’t think I can be quiet when you touch me like that.”

A moan slipped from your lips as Daniel licked the pads of his fingers and found your clit. Visions of that day come swirling back every time you touched yourself, conjuring a memory of him pushing you to the edge to help you along on those lonely nights without him. The angle, the intensity, the intention to get you off as quickly as humanely possible, knowing round two would be taking place in the back of the van shortly after – desperation spurred you on.

The darkness in his eyes as he watched you squirm, rutting on his dick without a single care in the world but to make yourself feel good. That vision of you above him inspired his own high to build, the knotting in his stomach undeniable as you lurched forward and licked the soft skin below his ear, curls damp from sweat, skin salty and freckled from your day spent under the sun. It was unforgiving, the way your orgasm began to crescendo, riding it out slow.

Wanting this moment to last. Etched in your memory forever.

“I’m coming, Dan.”

You didn’t really need to say it because he knew. He knew from the way you gripped the roof of the car and controlled the way his hips moved with yours, holding your ground and keeping that toe curling pace he’d been teasing you with. He also knew from the violent blush creeping up your bare chest and the way your eyebrows stitched together in concentration. Identical to his, mouth left agape and in complete awe of how fucking unreal it all felt. Heavenly.

“I’m coming too, baby. Fuck, right there...” Daniel’s breath was jagged, curls unkempt from your fingertips doing their worst. Tangled and dark, a mess pressed between your foreheads as you leaned down and kissed him through your high, aching to have him close as you came undone, hips rolling and squeezing everything you had to give and taking back just as much. He always had a lotta love to give.

“I love you.” You whimpered in the afterglow. And it was the first time you’d ever said that to someone like him, someone you genuinely loved with your entire heart. Someone who, without a second thought, said it back; I love you more.

There were a lot of firsts on that trip to Coral Bay, ones that you cherished until this very day, standing in the spot where it all happened. 10 years of memories all rolled into a camper van and a couple of swags. Reams of sheets messy from reliving it all, indulging like you did as young twenty-something’s, now with real life responsibilities and on the precipice of your whole life changing.

“I can’t wait to bring her here.”

Daniel swept your hair behind your ear as you cuddled into his side, the same sound of the waves lapping against the cliff below like they did back then, lulling you into serenity again. He smiled and cradled your cheek with one hand, and your growing belly with the other. Enamoured beyond comprehension, speechless by how strongly he felt and content with where his future was headed. With you and the family you were starting together.

“I know she’s going to love it. Just like her mum.”

But for now, you could be those kids again. Dumb and falling in love. Sharing kisses under the starry night sky, holding each other close, reliving the good times and most importantly, saying yes to life.

Just like you did back where it all began.

a//n – it's danny ric week so it felt fitting to release this on the eve of the ausgp. thank you to mar and the anon who requested the prompts used in this fic. love ya's x masterlist | askbox

[yo-yo-yungi]

MY LOVE, MY GRATITUDE - JEONG YUNHO - SFW

Yunho x reader

Genre: angst

Warning list: Angst- so you know, it ain’t happy. Mentions of a fall (no serious damage), mentions of a scar on the readers knee, mentions of food

Word count: 583

Summary: sometimes letters are made to be sent. Other times, letters are for the words we regret never saying.

Dear Yunho,

I wish I had sent this letter years ago, now it's too late. How am I supposed to confess when you look at her the way I look at you? Why did it take you only 2 months to ask her out, when I've been waiting for 10 years? Yunho, I've known you for so long, seen the good, the bad, and the ugly (yes, like the cowboys - yes, I'm a dork). We've known each other since we were 12 - is that the issue? Do you see me as a sister? I doubt it, especially since you kissed me at the Halloween party. Yes, you were drunk. No, I never mentioned it. But have I been thinking about it every second of every day since then? Yes.

I frequently revisit the photos of you stored on my phone. There are over 1,000 of them... you always had a habit of taking selfies whenever I left my phone unattended. Oh how I long for you to do that again.

When I look at photos, they can't compare to a single glance at you. Your beauty cannot be fully captured in an image; it's not the same as seeing you in person. Could you walk past me one last time? No need for a sly wink or even a glance my way, just walk... I'll be watching.

Did you watch the sunset with her as you did with me? I should have confessed my love to you then, should have expressed how those moments meant everything to me.

The little moments with you are etched into my memory like sacred scripture. I can’t look at a tulip without remembering the time you got me some for my birthday, I can't look at a toothbrush without remembering all our childhood sleepovers. Yunho, even my own desk brings back memories of you falling off the chair. But… worst of all, the one that bothers me the most… I can’t look at myself without thinking of you. You changed me, both physically and mentally. Like that scar that graces my knee from when you pushed me a little too hard and I fell to the concrete… I’m sorry by the way, that was my fault… I shouldn’t have said the cupcakes you made were ugly. I loved them… truly. Every time I see that mark on my knee I think of you. It’s not fair…

Whenever someone mentions my considerate nature, I think of you, because you were the one who taught me that. Before I met you, I was unkind and harsh. Why did you give me a chance? You, this beacon of positivity, why did you give me a chance? Is it selfish to wish you hadn't? Because now I'm left with an emptiness in my heart. It stings like a fresh wound - I understand this may not be the best metaphor, but I don't care.

Yunho, I'll put it simply-

I am absolutely, desperately, unconditionally in love with you and everything that you are. If I can turn back time and tell you how I felt before you met her- I would- but I can’t do that now… it’s selfish. You taught me that selfishness isn’t a good look on anyone.

Since I can't express my love for you, I'll express my gratitude instead. Thank you for shaping me into the person I am today. I'm also grateful for the lessons you've taught me about love. I'll cherish these memories forever.

<3

[lazykim12]

Redemption Au! Eli Shane! (and I’m officially back 😭🙏)

. . .

Okay…so i usually disappear after a while after posting sometimes depending, but i kinda lost motivation with anything and been focused on other things in life and i guess i kinda lost interest in posting for a while…But im back! And determined to finish this Au storyline! If I can call it that- but! I’m planning on finishing Eli and some other info about the Au before I officially make a fanfic about it! Maybe…I’m not sure! But I will dive deeper into that as I’m thinking of maybe doing a comic instead! I thought I had made up my mind but apparently not😭 but after this I’m going to actually post fan art and other things!

Oh and I will think about doing FNAF or other fan arts for others so only time will tell I guess-

Anyways here’s Eli!

Eli is slightly different to his counterpart but there isn’t much! (Other than being a bit more stronger and better trained-)

He still is a bubbly, dorky Guy who loves puns..though sometimes twist takes that title and is more dorky than him- but Eli is still the same, but he’s doing a lot better in this Au! He’s a bit more of a thinker during his plans and because of Au Blakk’s training, he is even harder to defeat (depending on the enemy) he is very good in combat training due to Blakk and with a bit of the incredible’s master training, he’s well more experienced compared to his Cannon Counter part!

Still clumsy though sometimes, like his dad😭

LORE

Eli grew up in what he considered a happy life!

Well sort of..he had faded memories of slightly meeting blakk but they blurred since he was nearly about to become a toddler during that time. His relationship with his mom was…complicated, at times she was sweet and caring but as he grew up, he could feel her neglect towards him, and could often see her on the couch passed out from her drinking…So at age 5, he remembered his father divorcing his mom. He doesn’t remember much from that day, but he could remember his mother just not caring and leaving through the door..

He sometimes misses her..

And sometimes he doesn’t.

Growing up, he was raised pretty constantly by his father, even if there were some days he didn’t see Will, will always made sure to make up for that time, never wanting to be away for too long in his child’s life..he’d even put off weeks of being a Shane to spend time with Eli, so for most of Eli’s childhood, will Shane was never really absent or gone for too long!

And even if he was Eli always was patient.

Eli doesn’t remember much about his other family, the only other family he’s ever been around or interacted with is his uncle and aunts from his mom side, and his grandma, but never from his father’s side..expect uncle jimmo once or twice.

. . .

Already Will began to break 2 rules of the Shane code, and was beginning, in his family’s mind..Bringing shame into the family, which is also why Will cut communication with them a long time ago.

To Will’s family and the Shane code book, He broke one of the very first rules ever made, ‘never disrespect your legacy.’

A rule placed for the Shane’s of upcoming years to never not do your work, whatever you had to do was important and no distractions were allowed.

So will shane cutting off his days to spend time with his family, friends, putting the Shane work aside, broke the rule and made his uncle, mother and father and other relatives despise him more.

The second rule he broke was put at the last, and was always reminded of each Shane who would soon step up and take the Bandoleer and blaster for themselves.

‘Be loyal to your training’

By putting this rule, the Shane family for ages have always trained their children, whoever would take the place of the Shane role, would have to train hard, or everyday, and their children too.

It was a custom once the child turned 6, they would begin Shane children, it was a must, so they would be more conscious and remember things better.

. . .

Will easily broke this rule, and he didn’t feel bad, yet a bit guilty about it, but if given the choice again, he would gladly

Do it again.

Once Eli turned 6, he never trained him, he made sure he had a playful childhood, and this caused anger through the Shane family, as arguments went back and forth sometimes between some relatives.

Will Shane made SURE Eli focused on school, friends, playing, everything expect the Shane stuff, he didn’t want to make Eli feel like he needed to be successful or be proven worthy, he was only a child, he shouldn't have had to carry that burden..especially the one will carried so long ago when he was a child himself.

. . .

Eli had a fun childhood in his opinion, and the time he was told more about Slugterra finally was when he was 10 years old, since his time was nearing, but Will wanted to take a slow approach, he didn’t want to pressure Eli or make him think that ‘oh! I have to be a Shane!..I have to work had to prove myself to my dad and focus on only this..”

Will made sure to give Eli other ideas, so he didn’t think he had to be a Shane.

. . .

Eli felt comfortable enough with deciding to become a Shane, not due to over pressure, wanting to prove to his father, but because he wanted to help people.

He made the choice himself rather than being forced or the role being pushed upon him..

. . .

HOW HE IS LIKE-

Eli is bubbly and all about just like his cannon self, Loves puns, but he is more serious in a way due to blakk, not in a bad or cold way, just so he takes things with more consideration, is more quick and clever, and is a fair and well fighter.

He thinks and usually half his plans work really well due to blakk’s thinking passing onto him sometimes during training.

(He’s still his dad son though..😅)

Will slip up and be a bit clumsy at times, but he’s a pretty advanced slugslinger and fighter. Is more advanced in a way compared to his counter part. Still a dorky guy, Trixie makes sure he doesn’t do anything stupid still, while kord and Eli prank each other and go into full warzone …

He has a good heart, and it’s more motivated to grow with blakk’s training, and with his childhood, especially with the way Will raised him. Will always made sure to teach him a lot about compassion, how to give instead of take and to Procter everything in Slugterra, the slugs, the people, everyone, safe others from bad ones, still show remorse and kindness.

He cares deeply about blakk (sees him as an uncle/father figure sometimes)

He’s genuinely more brightful! Though after his dad is saved he feels a lot better, though some final battle happens kinda scars him a little but he is doing fine!

(He also got the mouth scar from some training from blakk, proud of his scar like twist, just a bit disappointed he didn’t get it from an actual slug slinging duel.💀)

Ahsuhsiahejwj SOO THATS ELI’S LORE FOR NOW- Sorry for the long disappearances, I’ll try better this month and April hopefully 🙏 alright see yall next time, peace!

[gingiesworld]

Love Is Fickle

Part 3

Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: Angst. Fluff

Taglist: @username23345 @fxckmiup @marvelogic @dark-hunter16 @moistblobfish

Wanda had waited for a few months now to see when Y/N would return home. Although she also recieved a lot of letters, all dated from when Y/N had joined the military and dropped out of school.

Wanda,

I know that you're probably wondering why I am not there, hell if Vision has anything to do with it, you probably won't even notice I'm gone. But I had to leave Westview, I couldn't stay in a place I don't really belong anymore. My heart doesn't belong there.

I hate that I never really said goodbye to you. I hate myself for not giving you an explanation, but I hope that maybe one day in the future if we do cross paths again I would have the balls to tell you. Tell you everything.

I love you Wanda Maximoff. I always have and I always will.

Y/N Y/L/N

Wanda couldn't help the tears as she read each of the letters. Reading over Y/N's words which they most likely never intended for her to ever receive.

Wanda,

I came home for the first time since I left and I was kind of sad that I never saw you. I guess you're having the time of your life at NYU as you should be tearing that place up with your awesomeness. I wish I could have been there with you, although you probably know I lied to you about getting in. I know my mom won't ever be able to hold her own piss.

I just want you to know how incredibly amazing you are and you are destined for amazing things Wanda.

I love you so much

Y/N Y/L/N

She smiled at some of their words, laughing at some of the stories they had to tell her.

Wanda,

Nat told me about what happened between you and Vision. I'm sorry I can't be there to reassure you that everything will be fine, but everything will be fine in the end Wanda. You will find happiness again.

But the funniest thing happened to me that might make you laugh. The guys thought it would be funny to shave my eyebrows and now I look weird. I even posted a picture so you can have a laugh at it.

Y/N Y/L/N

Wanda laughed as she held the picture in her hands, tears falling as she couldn't really control herself. That was until she heard Peggy and Steve yelling.

"I can't lose you too Steve." Peggy cried out as she held onto his arm.

"I need to find them Peggy. They're our baby." He told her softly. "I need to do this. Bring them home."

"Please." Peggy pleaded with him.

"I will find them Peggy. I will bring them home." He kissed her before he left in the taxi. Peggy clutched at her chest as she cried as Wanda came running out.

"What's going on Peggy?" She questioned as Peggy shook her head. "Is it Y/N?"

"They've been officially declared MIA." She sobbed as Wanda held onto her. Tears of her own falling as all she had left was the memories she had shared in their childhood together.

"I'm going to marry you one day Wanda." 10 year old Y/N stated as the two played in the park.

"I can't wait Y/N/N." Wanda beamed as she kissed their cheek. "My knight in shining armour." The two chuckled before they raced for the swings.

-------

Wanda lay on her bed clutching her stomach, waiting for the painkillers her mom gave her to kick in. Soon to be greeted by a smiling Y/N who held an assortment of sweets, chocolate and soda in their arms.

"Your mom told me that you have got stomach pains so I thought we could watch your favourite show and binge eat." They beamed as Wanda smiled. "I also brought some heat pads." Wanda hugged them before she pulled them down onto the bed with her after setting up the Dick Van Dyke show.

"How do you know it's my period?" She questioned as she held up the countless packs of feminine products.

"You very rarely get ill and we are going through puberty." They told her. "Plus I may have done some research since I don't have a uterus and wanted to make sure you would be ok."

Wanda never realised how she had never noticed that Y/N had been in love with her, even before she started dating Vision. She was too oblivious to the possibility that she could have had something better than the mediocre love that she had with her ex.

"How stupid am I?" Wanda asked Nat as the two sat in her room. Mrs Maximoff was over with Peggy who was broken up. "If I had realised in that moment that I was in love with them, that they were my forever. They wouldn't be missing right now."

"Wanda, no one knows if things would have changed." Nat told her. "As much as they were in love with you, they looked up to their parents. Especially with their father being in the military."

"But." Wanda tried.

"I know you finally figured it out." Nat told her softly. "That's why they asked me to send you the letters they had written to you over the years, even the latest ones."

Wanda sighed as she grabbed the latest ones, looking at the one dated from the day after she went to their building. Opening it with care and shaky hands.

Wanda,

I'm sorry that I left like that, and I hate myself for it. I just hope that you can forgive me but I don't think I am ready to open myself up to you just yet. Even though I am still in love with you but I just can't because I am afraid that this is some sick joke.

I guess that maybe we can use this time apart to figure everything out between us, because I have missed you so much over the years Wanda. I hated that I never done all of the things we dreamt of doing together. And I want to make new memories.

I love you too Wanda

Wanda couldn't help but sob as she held their letter to her chest, Nat wrapping her arms around her as she cried loudly. Her heartbreaking at the thought that she may never see them again.

[kxzush1]

Sobbing quietly

pairing: Charles Leclerc x Y/N (childhood friends)

summary: Y/N and Charles are childhood friends and they share their trauma of losing people they love.

warning: angst.

note: changed Charles's and Charlote's dating timeline a bit.

Y/N and Charles are childhood friends. Y/N moved to Monaco with their parents when they were a kid. They started karting and met Charles, Esteban, Pierre and Anthoine. They became friends off the track quickly, and rivals on the track quickly.

As Y/N's parents weren't always the best, they often would spend time with Charles. Hanging around his house, spending time with Charles, even with his parents, as they would take care of them like Y/N's their kid. They also met Jules. Jules Bianchi. One of their favourite people beside Charles. He made Y/N laugh a lot, and they made many memories. But then he crashed. And they said he was in a coma. They went to visit him in October with Charles. And they cried a lot. But they said he could get better. So Y/N was a bit happier. A few months later, it was not so good, and then- and then..

Jules died. It was night. Y/N was over at Charles's. They woke up in the middle of the night, hearing some noise from downstairs. They saw Lorenzo. He didn't look good. And then they told Y/N.

"Y/N please tell him.. I don't think I can bring myself to." Lorenzo whispered. They sobbed quietly, leaning there against the couch, sitting on the floor. Their hands covering her face.

"I- I don't know if I can either, please.." Y/N whispered back, but then they heard those steps. Y/N recognised them. Those light steps, they were his. Y/N looked up, saw him walking down those steps, rubbing his eyes.

"Y/N.." he mumbled, almost like he was searching for them. Then he looked at the people before him. He looked at Y/N. Their eyes met. It was like Y/N told him wordlessly.

"Charles.. Jules just died." Y/N whispered, wiping their tears away. And Charles just stared, and he couldn't bring himself to cry. But Y/N understood. Standing up, Y/N walked up the stairs, took his hand and led him back to his room. They laid down and Y/N pulled him closer. And then he cried. Only in their arms. On the bed, and then at the funeral.

Y/N was a talented driver, a very talented one. Stepping into Formula 2 a year earlier than Charles, in 2016, they didn't win the championship in the first year, nor the second one, but that one, they didn't mind it. Because that year, it was different.

The year ended in tears,not in those of joy, but in those of sadness. Hervé died. Charles was almost broken, almost. But he stayed strong, became the strongest he could and won the championship. That was the one thing Y/N couldn't bring herself to do. They were battling for the championship too. But when Y/N saw their 'almost dad' passing, they couldn't bring themself to make it. Or maybe, Y/N let Charles win.

'I went to congratulate Charles. I think. I don't know for sure. The only thing I remember was the fact that I had so many tears in my eyes, I almost couldn't see. It was almost as if I was under water. I couldn't hear who was talking to me. But, then my vision finally cleared, and I saw Charles. It made me cry even more. I got one look from him and it was like we knew what we wanted to say to each other in that moment. Yes, maybe he beated me in that championship, but that was the last thing important from that day.'

-An excerpt from Y/N's book: 'A way down'

They both got into F1 then. Charles in Alfa Romeo, and Y/N in McLaren. They both were happy, nervous, excited, still sad. But they were still kids in that time. The first year was fine, the next year, he got a girlfriend, Charlotte. Y/N was friends with her. Charles looked happier, and Kate was there for it. They both focused on their carreers. Y/N was succesful. The McLaren car suited them. They had a good rookie year. And Y/N was a bit happier again. The next year, not so good. Having issues with their car, but trying their best.

August 2019. Formula 2.  The crash of Anthoine. That shook Y/N. It took them one lap at the track to know that they couldn't. But Charles won. And they was proud.

"How was the funeral there, If I may ask?" 

"It was.. I mean it was bad. I wasn't doing good. And not just because of the death, but because I knew that my career was getting bad. And then, seeing that we all were there for it, I mean it kinda reunited us. I mean, Pierre and Esteban, mostly. Of course Charles was there too, but I always talked to him a lot. But it felt like I've lost those other two friends when we joined Formula 1.

Anyway, it was also the moment of.. realisation I think? Like I remembered all the losses at that moment standing there and it dawned on me. And from that moment, it got bad."

-Y/N being interviewed on the 'High performance' podcast.

It was kind of expected. Y/N was failing the last of the season, either crashing or just retiring from races. They couldn't handle all of it anymore. Then lockdown came, and Y/N announced retiring from Formula 1. Y/N took care of themself and post-breakup Charles. He was sad a lot, but he was streaming a lot too. They moved in with him. It was his idea. He saw Y/N sad and wanted to help them. So as they held him in their arms throoughout life, he returned the favour, at least slightly.

They talked a lot, hugged a lot, laughed a lot and cried a lot. It was needed after all those years. Spent holidays together at home, enjoying each other. And then they realised how in love with each other they've always been.

BREAKING: Y/N APPEARS WITH CHARLES ON THE SUZUKA CIRCUIT TO WALK THROUGH THE CIRCUIT AND PUT FLOWERS ON THE DUNLOP CURVE, TURN SEVEN, REMEMBERING JULES BIANCHIS, CHARLES'S GODFATHERS CRASH.

BREAKING: CHARLES AND Y/N REVEAL THEIR ONGOING LOVE RELATIONSHIP THAT STARTED IN 2020.

[joeshiestyslover]

i hate u

pairing: lsu!fratboy!joe burrow x volleyballplayer!reader

summary: you and joe were together before he transferred to lsu, when he broke your heart, but what happens when you end up transferring to the same college?

warnings: language, angst, joe’s an asshole

a/n: i got some inspo from a request and tied in a sza song bc i love her. also there will be a part 2

lowercase intended

masterlist

today’s the day your entire life changes, but little do you know, in more ways than one. a couple months ago just before your junior year ended, you were offered an athletic scholarship to play volleyball for lsu instead of ohio state. you immediately accepted because as much as you love your home state, you were tired of sitting on the bench waiting to finally play on the court. lsu offered you a starting position, so you would’ve been crazy to not say yes. 

you’re ready to leave ohio behind and forget the bad memories, well one bad memory in particular. you began dating your childhood best friend in college, after waiting for him to love you back your entire childhood. ever since you met, you both were inseparable, doing absolutely everything together, including college when you both were accepted to ohio state. the moment you started dating, you were the happiest you had been in a long time, and that happiness you thought would last forever, it only lasted three years. 

he decided to transfer from ohio state to lsu to play football because he was never given the chance to be starting quarterback, and lsu just happened to give him that chance. you were worried at first because he was going to be the furthest away that he had ever been, but he was quick to reassure you everything was going to be fine and that he was never going to forget about you or neglect you. 

oh, how you wish you never believed his bullshit lies.

after a couple weeks of him being in louisiana, he started to call less, basically ignoring your entire existence. you had planned to talk to him about it one night over facetime, but that morning you received a text from him that simply read, i think we need to take a break. you texted and called himnumerous times, trying to get him to explain, but he never responded or picked up your calls. after hundreds of unread texts and voicemails, you gave up. you still tried to keep up with him, looking at his social media accounts, until one day, when you checked a post he was tagged in, you saw him at a party making out with a girl that was perched on his lap. your heart broke, and you decided to block him on everything so you could move on; something that he had clearly already done. 

you are currently carrying the last of your boxes into your dorm room, chatting with your new roommate, eve. “so, why’d you transfer here again?” she asks you. “volleyball. i was tired of sitting on the bench all season.” you respond. “all season? damn.” “yeah i know. it fucking sucked, but that’s why i’m here now.” you tell eve. you finally finish carrying your boxes, and you decide to unpack tomorrow. you lie down onto your bed with a huff, “i forgot how much i hate moving.” you joke. suddenly, you hear a knock at your door, and eve jumps up to answer it. as she opens the door, she exclaims, “joe!”

no. it can’t be.

“oh my god, you have to meet my new roommate. y/n! come over here and meet joe!” you stand up, and slowly start to make your way towards the door. you look at the man in front of you, and make eye contact with him. “y/n!” joe exclaims. “it’s good to see you!” you only offer a small smile in return. “wait, do you two know each other?” eve questions, looking between you and joe. “umm just in passing.” you say, and joe gives you a confused look. “okay? me and joe are going to a party, so i probably won’t be back until after you fall asleep; so i’ll see you later, alright?” eve says. “yeah okay.” you reply as she walks out with joe. as you shut the door, you lean your back against it. “oh my fucking god this can’t be happening to me.” you say quietly to yourself. 

the next few days go by relatively smooth, with you finding your way around, getting your jersey along with your practice schedule, and adjusting to your new classes. you even were able to make a friend in your econ class, ja’marr. ja’marr told you that he’s a wide receiver for the football team, so you knew that he knows joe as well. about a week later, your roommate asks you the question you’ve been dreading. “how do you really know joe because the way he looked at you made it seem there’s more to the two of you than you let on.” you didn’t know how to answer her. you want to tell the truth, but do you want to trust someone you barely know with one of your worst memories? 

“if i tell you this, you cannot tell anyone, okay?” you tell her seriously. she nods, waiting for you to continue. “so, joe and i sorta dated back when we both went to ohio state.” “oh my god really?” she asks, shocked. “wait, there’s more. not only did we date, we were best friends since like childhood. he was literally my next-door neighbor.” eve’s jaw drops. “what happened between you two?” she inquires. “he broke up with me a couple weeks after he transferred here, over text.” “no! over text?! what a douche!” she exclaims. “i know, but after a while, i got over it, and now i’m here.” you say to her. “holy shit. that’s so fucked up, and i promise i won’t tell anyone.” “thank you eve.” you tell her. “but i am going to give you my honest opinion. i think you should talk to joe.” “no.” you have no interest in talking to that sleazeball. “why not? you two can finally clear the air and move on! don’t you want that?” eve tries to reason. “if he wanted to clear the air, he would have done that when he first broke up with me instead of being a coward and not responding to my texts or calls.” you state. 

almost on cue, you hear a knock at the door, maybe it’s one of eve’s friends. you really hope so. “oh hi joe. can you give me and y/n a sec? thanks.” she shuts the door, and you stand up from your bed. “do not tell me you brought him here eve!” you raise your voice slightly. “listen i had no idea about your history with him, so i invited him over here yesterday to watch a movie. i’m so sorry!” eve apologizes. “it’s fine. i’ll just go. text me when he leaves.” “come on, y/n! i think he actually wants to see you!” she says. “well, tough because i don’t want to see him.” you begin to walk towards the door. “please! just stay for a little while! if it gets too much for you, i’ll ask him to leave. please stay.” eve begs. “fine, but you owe me big time.”

eve opens the door, and there stands the boy you fell in love with almost twenty years ago. you briefly make eye contact before looking back at your roommate. “okay joe, come on in. i’ll put on the movie.” you try your best not to look at his face as you both sit down on the beanbags on your floor. the awkward silence deafening until joe speaks up, “so y/n, how have you been?” “umm since you broke my heart, then ran off like a coward? oh i’m just peachy keen!” you say back to him sarcastically, not bothering to make eye contact with him. your remark seems to shut him up until eve comes back over to the both of you after starting the movie.

all throughout the movie, you notice joe stealing glances at you every so often, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t doing the same. once the movie’s over, you’re waiting for eve to kick his sorry ass out of your dorm. for some reason, he isn’t leaving, and you try to get eve’s attention, but she’s too caught up in some conversation with joe. finally, eve walks over to you, and joe is still not leaving. “so umm, i know i said i would tell him to leave, but he wants to talk to you.” she says sheepishly. you sigh, knowing how stubborn joe can be. “five minutes. that’s it.” you tell her. she nods and walks back over to joe, and he looks back at you with a look in his eyes that you can’t quite pinpoint. “i’ll be back guys. y/n, please try not to murder him.” eve calls out to the both of you. 

“so what do you want to talk about?” you ask, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “i just wanted to tell you that i’m so sorry for what i did to you. i was an asshole and you didn’t deserve it. i just want you to know i never fell out of love with you. hell, i still love you, but-” “joe, stop.” you cut him off. “you don’t get to say you’re sorry because you sure as hell weren’t sorry when you broke my heart a year ago.” you say, coldly. “i know that i can never change what i did to you, but i just want you to know that i really am sorry, even if you don’t believe me.” you can’t believe what you’re hearing. “i thought you loved me joe.” you say, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes. “i did love you! i still do!” he starts to raise his voice. “bullshit joe! you’re so fucking selfish! i don’t know why you give a shit all of a sudden! is it because you feel guilty? or do you just feel sorry for me?” you yell. “y/n-” “i don’t care anymore joe! you know why? it’s because you are not the person i fell in love with years ago!” you seethe. “i know, y/n. i know. it wasn’t fair for me to do that to you.” he tells you, looking at his shoes. “you can’t even look at me joe! i mean, did you ever realize you were hurting me? or did you just not care?” “y/n please-” “shut up joe! i hate you! it was so shitty of you to make me feel like that! god, what i would do to make you feel the way i did when you ripped out my heart and stomped on it!” your tears are falling down your face, stalling at your chin, and you don’t even bother to wipe them off. “y/n, just let me explain.” he begs you. “no! you had your chance to explain while you were off fucking random girls last year! you know what joe? fuck you!” a silence takes over the room, and you decide that you’re done with this conversation and joe. “get out.” you say calmly, looking him straight in the eye. “what?” joe’s voice wavers slightly. “you heard me. i said five minutes and it’s been five minutes. it’s time for you to leave.” “okay i understand.” he begins to walk towards you door, but stops to tell you, “just so you know, it has always been you, y/n. i never stopped loving you.”, his voice breaking on the last word, but you just give him a slight nod before he walks out of your dorm.

you walk over to your bed and sit down, staring at the ground. a wave of emotion washes over you, and you start to sob uncontrollably, your chest heaving, feeling as if you can’t breathe. you don’t notice eve being in the room until you feel you bed dip next to you, and her arms wrap around you. you lean into her as she comforts you and tries to calm you down. you don’t know when you could ever forgive joe for what he did to you, but it certainly isn’t now.

a/n: i kinda hate this but oh well

[honeybewrites]

Writerly Questionnaire

Thank you @paeliae-occasionally for the tag, @harmonic-melodii for the tag, @the-golden-comet for the tag, @sableglass for the tag, @the-letterbox-archives for the tag,

@ominous-feychild for the tag and @willtheweaver for the tag!! Also thanks to @davycoquette for creating the game!!

About You

When did you start writing?

Hmm, that shouldn't be a hard question and yet here we are. Honestly, I don't know. I have a really shitty memory, especially when it comes to my childhood. I think I might have been around ten when I first started?

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

No, I definitely like writing the same stuff I read. Fantasy and sci-fi is my jam! Throw in some massive world building, some angst and whump and you've got me hooked.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

I definitely haven't been compared to anyone. I would like to emulate Brandon Sanderson in the sense of his massive world building and phenomenal magic systems.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

I don't really have a set space. I often write on the living room couch because it's the most comfortable. I do have a desk that I will occasionally write at, but it's pretty uncomfortable after a short while, and I mostly use it for other work instead.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

The car or the bathroom. I know it's sounds super strange, but driving without any music, or better yet riding with it, often gets my brain thinking. And wether I'm showering or just washing my face, a lot of my best ideas come to me in the bathroom.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

I really don't know, but I doubt it. Like I said, my memory is shitty. We had moved about five or six times by the time I graduated high school. It was all in the same city at least, but different parts of it. As for people, I was a hermit. I didn't have any friends or hardly ever talk to people my age.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Does whump count? On a more serious note, I haven't done what I call a deep edit in years. I think, just off the top of my head, trauma and abuse are pretty reoccurring, along with internal emotional issues like trust.

Your Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

That's a tough one! I love my babies! I think my current favorite would be 703. She's been around the longest and honestly, she'd helped me through some bad times and I'm not sure I would be here without her.

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

As much as I love her, 703 and I would not get along. She's a little too trigger happy and I'm a little too non confrontational. I think Rage and I would hit it off pretty well though. Maybe Fres too if I could break through their barriers.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

I have said this before and I'll say it again, Master Gerd. That man is a straight up bastard and I would gladly choke the life out of him if ever given the chance. He just makes me so angry.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

It's pretty different for each one. Sometimes they start with a name, other times they don't. It is pretty consistent that I just start writing them into the story before coming up with all the details. If the character sticks around and starts to have a more predominant role, that's generally when I'll go into detail about their backstory and they get their own file in my doc. But this isn't always the case. Sometimes, I just already know all this information from the start and I can write it all down. 703 was like that. Sometimes things come up along the way slowly. But for the most part, I just start writing and everything else works out fine.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

Trauma!! Gotta have the dark backstory haha! Most of my OCs have very unhappy and traumatic childhoods/young adult lives 😈. Protectiveness also comes up quite a lot along with being physically strong. I mean, most of my OCs are in a "cult" of some kind that generally goes around fighting things... okay maybe cult is a theme too now that I'm thinking about it. I've got the Mors (bad cult) Oraniz (morally gray cult) Ryuk's pack (wholesome cult) and mafia like organizations in Rune Storm (also bad/morally gray cults)... yeah I think that might be a theme.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.)

Animation style. I've always wanted, especially when I was younger and life hadn't taught me anything yet, to have my work turned into an animated series. Even now, that little dream, that I realize is very unlikely, stays the same. I think you can do a lot more with animation than you can live action, and it's always how I've imagined my OCs. Albeit it is a little more "realistic" animation, like Dreamworks, Disney, those kinds of things.

Your Writing

What’s your reason for writing?

If I don't write down my OCs and world, I'm pretty sure I'll go mad. I love sharing my writing, but I write for myself first and foremost. And writing has gotten me through a lot of really hard times in my life. It's something I can always turn to and it helps me express and process things. I can't imagine my life without it. It's just a part of me.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Honestly, just saying you enjoyed it is more than enough. I never thought I'd have anyone that would be interested in my writing enough to leave comments on it. Every time I get one on anything I post, it always makes me smile.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

I think I’d like to be seen as just a really good world builder and nice writer in general. I don’t really have any expectations 😂

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Um world building maybe? I’m not really sure I’ve got any greatest strengths deal when it comes to writing. I don’t think I’m horrible, but I’m certainly not great or anything.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Uh, no. This is the only place I’ve ever talked about my writing. Don’t exactly have any irl to discuss it with or anything I trust to read it. That would get me in a less than ideal situation pretty fast.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

I think it could use a lot of work if I ever want to publish it. I definitely enjoy doing it, but I don’t think it’s all that great.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Yes. Honestly, I never thought anyone would be interested in my writing anyway. Plus, if I’m the last human, I need some form of entertainment haha

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I’d like to say it’s pretty much for my enjoyment, but I’m sure there’s some influence of what other people might like too. I’m a chronic people pleaser unfortunately

Tagging @yourpenpaldee @fractured-shield @anaisbebe @aalinaaaaaa @nczaversnick

@kaylinalexanderbooks @wyked-ao3 @diabolical-blue and anyone else who wants to hop on!! Seriously, everyone should do this tag game, it's super fun and insightful!

[blue-rose-soul]

For the TDB Swap Au:

I’m not really a fan of swap aus cause I similarly feel that they too often swap the personalities of the characters along with the roles but I just adore how you set yours up! Both Charlie and Alastor seem really in character and the whole au feels like an interesting idea to explore!

I’m curious, would Alastor regard Lucifer more highly because he inadvertently inspired his life of crime? How would their interactions play out?

Also Lucifer has had decades to build up the idea of this innocent kid gone too soon that he would never get to meet in part because he wasn’t there to protect him. How would he react to this idea being completely shattered by Alastor’s—well—everything?

Also I adore the idea of Charlie trying to act as suspicious as possible to be allowed to continue helping out. She’s got to be in for a world of surprise when she learns this random guy she just met is in part the reason she had such a isolated childhood.

Oh, Alastor doesn't know Lucifer was the one to kill his mother's murderer. All anyone knows was that strange noises were heard in the master bedroom and when the servants went in there later they found some lumps of meat on the bed. And the carpet. And the walls. And the ceiling. But if Lucifer were to learn that not only was his son still alive when that happened, but he saw the aftermath of what Lucifer did and was affected by it.... Well, hello darkness my old friend.

Yes, I love to torture the characters I like, what of it?

It's difficult for him to recognize the adult Alastor as his son because as far as Lucifer knows, his Alastor died as a child and his soul should retain that appearance. The name Alastor isn't exactly common, but it's not impossible for a total stranger to have that name either. If anything the 'reminders' of his murdered son only serve to aggravate Lucifer and make him more initially hostile towards Alastor.

This isn't even mentioning that Lucifer straight up assumes that Alastor somehow kidnapped Charlie when he first comes to the hotel.

It's funny because Charlie's trying to act like she has some ulterior motive to be at the hotel when in fact she does have an ulterior motive for being at the hotel; proving to Lucifer that redemption is possible and it's worthwhile to have faith in sinners. She doesn't tell anyone that she's really the Princess of Hell, which in a way helps her keep up appearances. Because she actually has a major secret she's trying to hide. After she disappeared from home, Lucifer finally emerged from the palace for the first time in decades to search for her, which keeps Charlie again isolated to the hotel as she doesn't want to run the risk of him catching her. Which leads to her acting odd and cagey and again, has Alastor certain she's got some hidden agenda.

Poor girl's going stir-crazy at this rate. But at least she has a new assortment of faces to keep her from losing it. Alastor's happy enough to catch her up on the events she's missed over the past several decades, while discretely probing her for information as well. And she and Vaggie hit it off pretty quick despite having known each other only a few months.

When the day finally comes that she learns who Alastor is to her, she's got some major mixed feelings on the matter. To hear Alastor tell it, Lucifer pretty much abandoned him as soon as Nicaise was gone. But when she tries to push Lucifer for details he makes it very clear that he thought that Alastor had died with his mother. Knowing that Alastor had been right outside that night when he tore that human scumbag to pieces... It's especially painful because now Lucifer has memories of exactly what kind of child Alastor was. He wasn't so different from Charlie back then, sweet and outgoing with a penchant for bursting into song. It's painful for Charlie to hear all this about the half-brother she never knew about.

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Movie nights and blanket forts

PAIRING | Chris Evans x Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 2K

SUMMARY | Scott has invited you to a barbecue at his brother Chris' house, and you are going with him reluctantly. That night you and Chris really hit it off and became good friends, but when he learned that you never built a blanket fort before, he really wanted to help you build your first one.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Mention of abandonment by a mother, mention of an alcoholic father, social anxiety.

Likes and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Chris Evans Masterlist

''Wait, you're telling me you never built a blanket fort before?!'' Chris asked surprised, and you turn bright red while shaking your head. ''No, I'm sorry to disappoint but I never built one before.'' you looked away, too embarrassed to look at Chris after your confession. You just wanted this conversation to be over with, you never liked it when all the attention was on you anyways. ''Also, please keep your voice down, I don't want everyone to know I didn't exactly have a fun childhood, okay?'' she shushed him and the memories came flooding back, leaving her with a bit of a lump in her throat. Her mom left her when she was 3, and her dad wasn't really a good role model either, mostly drinking beer to get through his days. She's glad she hasn't seen him in about 8 years now, but it doesn't take away from the fact that she didn't have a typical 'happy' childhood.

''You're right, I'm sorry. But I do think we should build one so you can see what you've missed out on, it will be so much fun.'' he offered, and you thought about it for a little bit. ''Can I think about it? I mean, we don't even know each other that well, we just met today...'' you said whit a shy voice. You were never the type of person to go around and meet new people, but when Scott asked you to come to a barbecue with him and his family, you couldn't say no. You always had a soft spot for him since you moved next door to him, and for some reason, the two of you practically became inseparable after only a few short months. That is why when he asked for you to come as well - ''don't worry, they're gonna love you!'' he said - you just couldn't refuse. For him, you'd do anything, and that is what got you into this moment right here.

''Yeah, no, that's okay. Actually, let's just forget I offered. I don't want to be rude and I feel like I sprung that on you. I'm sorry.'' he said with a sorrowful look in his eyes. He looked away and quickly picked up his beer before walking back outside where the barbecue was being prepared to see if he could help. ''Hey, what's going on here?'' Scott asked when he saw the look on your face, you looked both sad and a little scared at the same time. ''Do you need me to punch Chris for what he did? I'll do it right now!'' he said and started walking to the door, but you grabbed Scott's arm before he could go too far. ''Please don't!'' you say with a bit of a chuckle, knowing he would do it without even needing an explanation, but Chris didn't deserve to get punched by his brother, he was just trying to be nice. ''He didn't do anything wrong, it's just me. I'm sorry,'' you said, and Scott left it at that.

''Shall we go have a look outside and see how everyone's doing? I know it's not your usual thing to do this, but they all love you like I said they would. I'm not going anywhere, I promise.'' Scott said with a little pout and a stretched-out hand. ''Okay!'' you sigh and let out a little laugh, still nervous about being surrounded by all these people you barely knew. You'd heard stories about each and every one of them, but it was different now that you were actually here. Scott has always been honest about Chris and the fact that he was famous, so you knew that in advance, but it was still different when you actually met him, you've never met a celebrity before him, and you really didn't know what to do or say. ''Y/N, look at me-'' Scott said before the two of you walked into Chris' house. ''-Chris is just a normal person, like you and me, just more annoying is all. I get that it is quite a big hurdle for you to meet someone like him, but I'll be by your side this whole time. I believe in you!'' he said and with that reassurance, you walked into his house.

At first, you were greeted by the happy barking and tail wagging of Dodger, and you immediately crouched down to give him some love, you always loved dogs. ''Hi, buddy!'' you said and a big smile appeared on your face when he ran to you, sniffing you to see who you were. When he concluded his sniffing and accepted you, he quickly came in for cuddles and scratches, being the lovable goofball everyone knows and loves. ''Ah, I see you've met Dodger already! He likes you, I can tell,'' Chris said with some laughter weaved through his voice. ''Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were here already...'' you said and got extremely flustered when you saw Chris, you couldn't shake the fact that he was famous out of your head, and it made you very nervous. ''It's okay! I get it, I always like dogs more than people too,'' he said with a wink. ''I'm Chris, it's nice to meet you...'' he asked and you told him your name when grabbing his hand. ''It's nice to meet you Y/N! I've heard a lot about you from Scott, all good things of course,'' he said followed by some booming laughter.

''You told them about me...?'' you asked and immediately got very shy, you didn't know Scott told everyone about you. ''Well yeah, why wouldn't I tell them about my best friend?!'' he said and he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you a little closer and you immediately felt a little lighter now that he did that. ''Yeah, I guess..'' you said a little unsure and Scott immediately could tell you were getting uncomfortable, your social anxiety started to get the best of you now. ''Let's go into the kitchen and get something to drink, shall we? Then we can slowly introduce you to everyone. Like I said, I'll be by your side the whole time okay?'' Scott proposed and you agreed. ''Again, I'm sorry. It is really nice to meet you, Chris, you have a beautiful house!'' and you gave him a small wave before walking after Scott, earning yourself a smile as a thank you.

The rest of the introductions went a lot smoother, and everyone made you feel very welcome, Lisa even went the extra mile to make sure you felt welcome by getting your favorite drinks and snacks as well. She pulled you in for a hug, one you haven't had for as long as you could remember. Ever since your own mom walked out of your life, you never had the love of a parent, and getting a hug from Lisa made your broken heart a little bit less painful, and tears started forming in your eyes. You really couldn't stop yourself and the tears started trickling down your cheeks, and you can't hide the fact that you're sobbing now. ''Oh darling, what's wrong?'' she asked while rubbing soft circles around your back to soothe you. ''Come on, let's get you inside,'' she said and she gently walked you back inside, letting everyone else know the two of you will be right back.

''I-, I- I'm sorry Lisa, I didn't mean to...'' you started but couldn't stop, the tears that have been built up all these years were finally surfacing. ''Oh no, please don't apologize, it's okay!'' she said and Scott came in. ''Y/N? Are you okay?'' he asked wondering. ''Do you want me to tell her what's going on?'' and you slightly nodded, you wouldn't be able to tell her if you tried, so you're glad he came to your rescue. He told her about your mom, your dad, your childhood, and the fact that all of that has led to a pretty severe case of social anxiety. It took all of your energy to come here and meet everyone, because you were just thinking about everything that could go wrong, and your anxiety was at an all-time high. ''How about you go lie down for a bit? Chris won't mind if you use his guest room. That way you can calm down a little bit, and pick yourself back together before going back out there,'' she said and you happily accepted.

A few hours later you had woken up from your nap and were just sitting in the bed and scrolling on your phone for a bit. Scott knocked on the door and came in, seeing how you were doing. ''I'm doing better now, but I can't go out there now! They all saw how I broke down, I can't face them now...'' you said embarrassed. ''Don't worry about that, Ma took care of that and just told Chris you were going to lay down for a nap. No one else besides us three knows what was going on, and they're not gonna mention it, I promise.'' and with that, you went down with Scott and outside to the barbecue. After a while, the conversation started flowing naturally and you felt more and more welcome, and grateful you could be there with all of them. ''Thank you, Scott,'' you said softly, and your eyes fell shut right then and there after such a tiring day. It didn't take long before you were sleeping on his shoulder, and Chris offered to take you back to his guest room so you could sleep there.

~ A few weeks later ~

''Okay, I finally thought about it and I want to give the blanket fort a try. Ever since the barbecue I couldn't stop thinking about it, and it does seem fun!'' you tell Chris. The night of the barbecue you slept over at his house, and the next day the both of you got to talking. You didn't feel like you were an imposter in his house, he made you feel very welcome and you have been around quite a few times after that day. ''Yes, finally!'' Chris said, and he went to grab blankets, pillows, and a few chairs so he could make a blanket fort with the chairs and the couch. After about 30 minutes it was done, and both of you looked proud of your work. ''Now the fun part, let's get some snacks, drinks, and a few movies for a movie night!'' he exclaimed and practically ran into his kitchen with Dodger on his heels. ''You're such a dork...'' you whispered under your breath and couldn't help but laugh at this action.

''Here are the snacks and drinks, now it's time to go in!'' he said and he grabbed your hand to guide you to the entrance. ''Ladies first,'' he said with a bit of a mischievous grin on his face. You bent down and climbed in to get settled in the mountain of pillows, followed by Chris and Dodger, who didn't want to miss out on the fun and cuddles he would no doubt get in this fort. ''Wanna watch Harry Potter?'' Chris asked and didn't even wait for an answer, he already knew you would never say no to watching that, so he pulled up the first movie whilst getting comfortable. You decided to scoot a little closer to Chris and when your shoulders were touching, he put his arm around your shoulders so you could get snuggled into his side, putting your head on his chest. You let out a little sigh of relief and were very thankful for Scott introducing the two of you, you wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

''Here's to many more blanket forts and movie nights!'' he said while picking up his beer, and you grabbed your can of cola to say cheers with him. ''To many more moments like this one,'' you said and gave him a little kiss on his cheek before settling in his chest again. Neither of you saw it, but both of your faces got bright red at the action, and after 3 films the both of you fell asleep in the fort, limbs tangled all around the other. You have never been more grateful for someone, than you were at this very moment, in your blanket fort.

[mango-parfait]

10 Years

Part 1/?

Pairing: Keegan P. Russ x Lyusya 'Lou' Melnikova (OC)

Warnings: MDNI 18+, strong language, canon typical violence, war related topics, mentions/descriptiond of a miscarriage, implied trauma, hunting of an animal.

Word Count: 2.8k+

A/N: Just a bunch of drabbles I've written of Keegan and Lou with the intention of exploring their relationship during the years right after ODIN, to the current events in Cod Ghosts. I thought that they deserved a little bit of spotlight instead of gathering dust as unfinished drabbles. The years will not be in order unless I ever decide to continue the series. Thank you to @moosch, (And a few other mutuals) for encouraging me to post this because I'm way too scared to do it ;;u;; And also thank you for encouraging and enabling my russian literature brainrot that has influenced my writing style <3

Chapter summary: Lou goes out hunting beyond the walls of Fort Santa Monica. Her mind racing and muscles tensed and tight - Keegan had called her a liability, looking at her with a look she could only describe as contempt. Her mind wanders, memories comes back. Keegan comes looking for her to bring her home.

Year two, 2018, Fall

Leaves crunch under her boots- a sound filled with the childhood joy of running and leaping into gathered leaf piles in the backyard of her home, now just a thrum in Lou’s mind. Instead of the passing of a season, it’s a bone cracking under her weight. Orange hues of the trees and foliage- a reminder of lasers coming down from the sky, it’s still hard to forget the sound the ground made when it cracked open, and the screams of the people around her. 

"Eyes on the ground, Lyuda. Look for movement in the leaves, dips in the soil. Nature tells you everything you need to know." Her father’s voice rings in her ears. Rough and scratchy, an indication of one cigar too many. Back then, she'd do anything to avoid going into his study every Saturday morning because of the smoke and stench that clouded every inch of nose - but now, she'd give anything to see him again.

She walks on, each step a tense moment- her eyes darting around the ground. Tracking for games, tracking for Federation movement, it was the same. Maybe there’s game out here in the safe zones - a deer maybe, or a squirrel, or a rabbit. Maybe she’ll get a rabbit or two and bring it back to the guys at base, Merrick would be happy, so will Ajax, Torch, Kick and- 

Her chest surges in anger and bile rises in her throat. She swallows it down and presses her rifle closer to her body.

Keegan.

"Civvie like you shouldn’t be here, could’ve left with the trucks to the camps and yet you chose to stay. Dumb move, rookie."

His voice, low and serious- as it always was, rings out in the silence of the barracks hall. Cerulean eyes burning into hers as he folds his arms across his chest, gazing down at her with a dissatisfied look- or perhaps disgust, she cannot remember. 

"Elias thought he was doing you a service, taking you in and then throwing your ass at me to babysit. You’re not Ghost material, you’re a liability, should’ve left when you could."

No, her mind is wandering. He didn’t say all that- he wouldn’t.

"You’re a liability, not a Ghost."

That was all.

Reaching a small stream, she kneels down to brush her fingers along the dirt. A dip. A tiny indent in the soil, a rabbit maybe- It made sense for animals to gather near a stream for a quick drink.

She crumbles some of her biscuit rations onto the dirt and puts a good amount of distance from the stream to hide behind some boulders.

She waits, her mind starts to wander.

Anya, her baby sister- only a teenager when Lou left Russia to study in America. She promised that she would be home for New Year last year. Now she’ll never see her again. Was her hair still as golden as the wheat fields and eyes as brown as wet soil? Whatever she’s doing now, hopefully she's happy doing it. 

Time passes as Lou sits quietly in her hiding spot, eyes scanning the stream to see whether any animals have taken the bait. A rabbit appears and she readies her rifle the way her father had taught her as a young girl.

But she doesn’t listen to her father's words this time- it’s the Ghost Sergeant's. The anger surge in her chest once more at the thought of him. 

"You’re a liability."

Oh, she should’ve socked him in the jaw for calling her that.

The Sergeant knew how to get under her skin, spot her weaknesses and make her correct it immediately, his gaze always hard, sometimes even bored- either way, it's hard to read his expressions sometimes. He was strict and had taught her how to fire a rifle more efficiently, tackle long distances, control her breathing, to kill quickly, to survive one more day- one more op.

To survive.

To fight.

To live.

"Tuck your elbows in. Hips tight. Shoulders don’t pass your heels. Stock against your shoulder. Again. Do it again. One more time. Nice shot. Good job. Not bad."

Four months as his mentee. ‘Rookie’- he called her, part of the team and not yet part of it. The name had stuck and everyone started calling her that. It had even gotten to Elias, his hard face blurting out said nickname in a mission debrief. She hated it. 

A bullet fired from her rifle- the rabbit falls. Perhaps this will do for now, Lou can clean the carcasses and then bring them back to the butcher’s for processing and get meat jerky out of them. More meat in her ration packs and something she can share with the guys. Picking up the carcass and clearing it out right by the stream, her focus remained sharp as the carving knife in her hands twists and cuts its way through the tendons of the rabbit- stripping it of its skin.

Keegan had asked her once whether she had any knowledge of wildlife during a training hike after she had pointed out bare patches of grass in a passing field, saying that it was caused by one too many deers going through the same route over and over again. 

"No, sir. I just read it in a book once."

She wasn’t really sure why she lied to him.

Dunking the rabbit into the water and letting the water carry its blood along its streams, she keeps the image of the sergeant’s face in her thoughts. The day he called her a liability, his brows were furrowed a little more than usual, the frown was obvious even with the knit layer of his skull mask. The op wasn’t a tough one- if it could’ve been considered an op, just some quick scouting trip to a mall with minimal Federation patrols that they avoided easily. Afterwards, it was just a matter of setting up a vantage point, collect intel for Command, pack up and head home. It was easy, even for a rookie like her.

But she couldn’t recall what she had done wrong to make him call her a liability- maybe she adjusted the scope on her rifle incorrectly, maybe she had worn her shirt inside out. Or maybe he just felt like saying what he always thought. Either way, Lou couldn’t deny the emptiness in her chest when he said it to her face getting back to Fort Santa Monica, his eyes burning down at her as he folded his arms.

All she could do was just stare up at him with confused hurt. 

She impatiently digs the knife into the carcass, incision ragged and forced to get its guts out.

Her father’s voice rings in her head once more. "Be careful, daughter. Nice and easy- like painting a brush or like when you’re helping mother sew." She ignores him again.

The way she twisted the knife felt like the first person she had killed. A federation soldier- most probably a recruit sent out to scout the area where the hospital was. She would’ve let him pass if he didn’t choose to turn the corner that led to the room where she was hiding with a couple of the kids.

A stab into the neck with a crooked screwdriver, she held onto him even when her hands were slick and slippery with his blood. Only letting go when his body went limp in her arms.

A liability. Liability. Might as well make it a cuss word at this point, judging from how much it pissed her off. How can she be a liability when she went through basic training, did so well at long distance shooting that Elias had a long talk with about joining the Task Force?

Why a liability when she went through another month of training under Elias just so that he could start her way up to becoming part of the Ghost team?

Why a liability when she had suffered what she had suffered in No Man’s Land for four months when ODIN’s missiles scorched and cracked land for miles?

Why a fucking liability when she has fought, killed, starved and scavenged for those four months?

Dipping the carcass into the stream once more, Lou watches the blood staining the water and lets itself be led away by the current. The sight reminds her of sooty tiled floors of the bathroom in the ruined hospital, her lower half soaked in the blood that pooled beneath her. A miscarriage- that was what the medical staff told her. They said that it wasn’t her fault, supplies were running out, and with Federation soldiers constantly swarming around the hospital- it made it hard to scavenge from the other buildings in the vicinity.

The memories of deep dark blood made her nauseous and Lyusya takes in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. The baby she had lost, Constantine for a boy and Anya for a girl.

The mother she could’ve been. Now she’ll never get her chance.

So why would Keegan call her a liability when she had suffered what she suffered. What was all the pain, tears and blood for then? If she had gone through all of that just to be tossed into civilian camps and coaxed to live like normal then all that she had gone through in No Man’s Land would’ve been for nothing. 

Nothing at all.

Memories return. The piercing pain on the day it happened was like a million daggers to her stomach. The pitiful stares of the women as they tried to help her. Tried to. There was nothing much they could do.

Dirty bathtub. Tap not working. Ash and soot in the air. Blood flowing from between her legs. Gunfire in the distance. Her mother's face comes into view. She'd be there to wipe her tears and clean the blood off her.

“Rookie.”

Her thoughts come to a complete silence. The voice- so familiar. So hated.

Keegan.

She turns to look over her shoulder, unable to mask the scowl on her face.

He’s unmasked this time, dark stubble all throughout the jaw and around the lips. The blues of his eyes dimmed significantly without all the black fabric covering his entire body she sees him in so often. The bane of her existence fully clad in issued USMC shirt and pants with his dog tags hanging off a beaded chain around his neck.

Keegan wasn’t smiling, but she could detect the tiniest hint of amusement in his eyes. Oh, how she must look to him right now- the woman that attacked him in No Man’s Land, his rookie- cleaning game by the stream on an autumn morning just outside base.

“Knew you were lying to me about not knowing how to hunt.” Keegan takes a few steps forward and tilts his weight ever so slightly to loom over Lou to see what she was doing- it took everything in her not to bristle at his intrusion, he was not a welcomed sight at the moment.

“Ajax said you were outside for a walk. Never heard of someone going for a walk with a pocketful of knives.”

She turns away from him and lowers her gaze back to the task at hand and gets to cleaning the second carcass. “Just needed to clear my head, sir.”

“To hunt?”

“I was hungry.”

“That you have to hunt?” He takes another step closer and kneels beside her to watch. If he couldn’t sense her irritation growing just by being near her, then it’s clear that he’s deliberately ignoring it. “Could eat the chow back at base.”

“No.”

“No?”

“The rations are not sustainable, sir.” She hurriedly follows up, dumping out some bullshit excuse.

Keegan snorts and then stays silent. Watching her cut the guts out of the rabbit carcass with such practice and precise movements as if she had done this a million times. When he guessed that Lyusya knew how to hunt, he pictured coffee by the campfire, holding daddy’s guns and cheering him on- something he’d see in a movie.

How much did he know about the woman that he saved from No Man’s Land? Not much, that’s for sure. Something’s off about her today- he already knew why.

A gust of wind passes and Lou could smell the sea on the man. She knew he’d gone for a naval op with Merrick to do some scouting on a Federation submarine last night- they’d left out the details because she was a ‘rookie’. A full night of swimming, scouting and fighting. What the hell is he doing here then?

“You could have just asked to use the shooting range for a bit, clear your head that way.” 

“Out here is better..” She plucks the carcasses out of the stream. “Go back to base without me, sir. I won’t be long.” 

He stands up with a grunt and places his hands on his hips, eyes scanning their surroundings. The safe zones outside the Fort were as safe as they could be - if the Federation keeps to their word. As nice as this patch of grassland was, it wasn’t as safe as his rookie would like to think.

“Like hell you are.” He tells her with a sigh, frown forming on his lips- she’s so fucking stubborn sometimes. “You’re lucky enough to catch game out here, but it’s gonna run out the longer you sit on your ass. Time to go.”

Lou doesn’t look his way- the scowl on her face is better hidden from his eyes as she works on wrapping old newspaper around the carcasses and places the bundles in a canvas bag.

And to be honest? She doesn’t want to go back anytime soon. Her heart aches to wander around the open fields a little bit more. To be able to feel like a girl once more, not the broken woman she was after ODIN, and certainly not the woman that’s training as a recon sniper, fighting to survive one more day and being trained by the blue eyed son of a bitch that called her a liability.

Fuck, she’s so pissed about that and him being here right now isn’t making it easier to not snap. 

“Just leave me alone.” She stands up and sweeps dirt off the knees of her pants. “Why do you care? I'll be back in an hour.”

He huffs and folds his arms, eyes glaze around their surroundings once more. “You're not making this easy.”

“A liability never does, sir.”

His eyes narrow at her, only to be received by defiance. But Keegan's eyes didn't hold any malice just irritation and maybe a tinge of confusion. He remembers what he said to her after their mission- the hurt on her face was enough to be seared into his memory.

A year since ODIN, a year of constant fighting. This war was expensive, tiring and a drain on resources. Keegan was tired- he’s been tired since Sand Viper. If it weren’t for the loyalty for his fellow marines and the entire Ghost Team, he would’ve packed up long ago. Move to the property in Missouri that’s been on his mind, and maybe even raise some chickens.  

But here is his little rookie, the woman who spent her childhood in drama school reciting Shakespeare and reading Classics like drinking water, a woman who could- with every chance she got, choose to leave when she could. But she didn’t. Elias told her that she'd make a recon sniper, and like a little puppy, she lapped up the compliment like canned wet food.

Keegan had never meant to hurt her the way he did. She could’ve lived a normal life again and yet- she’s here. 

His rookie.

One can’t help but shoulder the responsibility.

“Whatever you are, it's time to go back to base.” He turns to walk back in the direction of the fort, its walls safely within sight.

Lou was reluctant. She could follow- then again, she could turn in the other direction and walk further into the treeline. But when Keegan turns - she freezes, her mind fights to stay. 

“Come on, rookie.” He says to her, voice unexpectedly softer. “I'm not leaving you behind.”

He doesn't walk until she does. A couple of steps in his direction, a tentative gaze in his direction- he continues down the trail back to the fort with her in silence.

-End-