#but for such a long time it was just those 4 kids against the entire fucking world

[scattered-winter]

the sheer amount of angst potential in carmen sandiego is INSANE

like. they’re fighting against a criminal organization that is so secret and covert, literally nobody knows about it (except ACME but they’ve been trying to find them for 20 years and turned up with nothing, so without Carmen’s intervention they probably never would have defeated them), but its roots are in LITERALLY every country. there are canonically VILE operatives that run nations and supercompanies. like. when you really get into it, VILE is ASTRONOMICALLY powerful. and the only people who both know about it and can actively fight against it are a handful of teenagers.

also like. the mindwiping thing??!!? it’s a kid’s show so it wasn’t really explored in depth but the implications are HORRIFYING. if they can wipe someone’s mind, they can completely rewrite a personality, or create sleeper agents left and right. they could kidnap random people off the streets, brainwash them, and then have an army of drones with the drop of a keyword. they manipulate and train their operatives to steal and kill without remorse or hesitation, and honestly the only reason why all the main characters made it through the show alive and unscathed was because of the rating because if it was a tv-14 or tv-ma rating, there’s no way everyone would have survived that shit

[aprilclementine]

teacher!steve, coming into to work so, so, sleepy, bags under his eyes, hair is completely deflated, the biggest thermal he has filled to the brim with coffee, glasses on because he couldn't be bothered to put in contacts.

He couldn't even stand up straight as he greeted his students, yawning as he greeted each student, leaning his entire weight against the door frame, getting a worried look from the English teacher, Nancy, as she caught his eye from down the hall, he gave her a small gesture, and a tired smile, hoping she'd understand it meant they could talk at lunch.

Steve was apologizing for his yawning the entire day, and sure enough come lunch there was rapid knocking just as the last kid had walked out, he was greeted by Nancy, and Robin, the music teacher.

"Steve, you look like death! Nance, you weren't kidding!" The two of them both took seats, in the closest student desks to Steve, who was mumbling out responses as he laid his head on his desk.

"Okay, spiiilllll." Nancy dragged on, drumming against the desk excitedly. Steve sat up, with another yawn, as he took a long sip from his coffee.

"Geez, did Eddie get home from tour, and forget it was a school night, you two must've had fun!" Robin wiggled her eyebrows at Steve, as Nancy giggled behind her hand.

"Ha-Ha, Buckley. But, sort of, NO- Not in the way you two think, get your head out of the gutter, Wheeler!" Steve pointed a stern finger at her, as she gave him a suggestive look. "He greeted me when I got home, we finished our fun pretty early, actually, I was ready to sleep like a baby." Steve recounted, as a blush began to run up his neck, at the thought of Eddie last night.

He cleared his throat as he continued, "Eddie, still jet lagged, got the great idea to invite his old bandmates over, and instead of practicing in the soundproof studio that we recently added, because it "wouldn't be the same, Stevie!", they practiced heavy f-cking metal, until 4 in the morning, in the garage, which is directly under our bedroom.”

The two girls let out laughs, and gave Steve a sympathetic nod. "So, I didn't get a wink of sleep, didn't even have time to pack myself lunch." Steve sighed as he looked at his watch, seeing he wouldn't have enough time to run into town to grab anything either.

The two girls stood, talking at the same time, "I packed some extra lunch," "You can share with me, I can't promise it'll be good, though.”

Steve stood with the girls, nodding along, as they made their way to the door to walk down to the teachers lounge. As Steve opened the classroom door for the girls, he was greeted by none other than the reason for his lack of sleep.

"Hey Sweetheart," Eddie greeted with a sweet smile, Steve groaned playfully, rolling his eyes, as the girls walked past the two of them, whispering to eachother.

"Oh! Don't forget how thin these cheap walls are, Munson!" Robin called over her shoulder, as Nancy let out another laugh. Eddie flipped her off, as he followed closely behind Steve into his classroom.

Steve sat back on his rolling chair, looking up at Eddie as he stood in front of Steve's desk. Eddie swayed back and forth, hands hidden behind his back. "I figured you probably didn't get much sleep last night-"

"Oh really? What gave it away?" Steve scoffed, taking off his round glasses, and setting them to the side.

"Well, you were grumbling all morning and threw all of your discarded outfit choices pretty roughly at my sleeping head today." Eddie listed off. Steve let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head, humming in response. At this, Eddie moved his hands from behind his back, showcasing a brown bag. "So, I thought what better way to repay my honey, than to bring him a greasy lunch full of love."

Steve reached out happily, knowing he couldn't stay grumpy when Eddie was giving him those eyes. Steve began eating, as Eddie moved around Steve's desk, taking a seat on the desk in front of him. He messed with his rings, as he watched Steve hum satisfied as he took his first bite.

"I figured you didn't have time to pack a lunch, and couldn't have you surving on coffee the whole day." Eddie continued, and Steve gave him a fond smile, nodding as he swallowed.

"You saved me from eating whatever leftovers Robin had cooked up, and was going to share with me." Steve laughed, "Last time I ate what she made me, I had to use my precious Sick Days!"

Eddied joined in on the laughter, before hooking his heel around the arm rest of Steves rolling chair, and pulling him closer, so Steve was slotted between Eddies legs, Steve let Eddie pull him, resting his elbows on his thighs, as he continued to eat his burger.

Eddie began combing his fingers through Steves hair, humming along to a instrumental they came up with last night. "Missed you, missed us." Eddie said softly, as Steve finished his burger, throwing the wrapper back in the bag, and moving closer into Eddies touch, snaking his arms around Eddies waist. "Maybe you should've used more of those precious Sick Days, so you coulda stayed in bed with me."

Steve smiled, feeling his cheeks flush. "Couple more days, and then you'll be able to bug me all of Winter break, my love." Eddie sighed, cupping Steve's face, making him look up at him. Steve kept his eyes shut, soft smile on his lips. Eddie kissed both of his eyelids, then his nose, then his cheeks, before placing one lasting kiss on his lips. He pulled away, causing Steve to whine, chasing after his lips. Eddie smiled lovingly, pressing his lips to Steves again.

The two lazily kissed as Eddie sat on Steves desk, until the bell rang, and when Steve stood and tried to pull away, Eddie pulled him closer, bringing Steve's bottom lip into his mouth, Steve giggled, pulling back softly, not being able to fully talk. "Babe- Mph, I- have to open the-mMpH the door."

Eddie shook his head, humming disapprovingly. "Five more minutes", he begged against Steves lips, keeping his arms hooked around Steve’s waist.

"They'll start knocking", Steve protested, once Eddie released his lip, and leaned up to kiss the mole on Steves exposed neck.

"Let them." Eddie mumbled, and Steve realized he wouldn't win this battle, so he stood there, wrapping his arms over Eddies shoulders, as Eddie lazily kissed along his jaw, out of love, not looking to go any further, more of I missed you kind of kisses, because he missed being home, in Steve’s arms.

The knocking started, just as Steve suspected. Only getting louder, as Eddie protested. "Steve! Open up, my sister told me Eddie's here!" Steve could hear Mike yell through the knocking, he sighed, as he pulled away, and went to open the door.

"Michael, we talked about this- It's Mr.Harrington, to you, during school hours!" Steve corrected, Mike rolled his eyes as Steve used his full name. As soon as the door was opened fully, the kids started piling in.

Dustin, and Mike running up to Steve's desk, to bombard Eddie with questions about tour, and if the kids begged Steve to let Eddie talk about tour, instead of prep for their final (Mr.Harrington, this is geography, technically, it would work perfectly! I teach History, Lucas! Are they not the same thing?), no one had to know.

Steve really only gave in, once he finally looked at Eddie (oh, cmon Stevie, you'd get to sit back and rest for a class period). So, Steve sat back, and watched fondly as Eddie talked animatedly to the class, asking Steve to display each city Corroded Coffin played at, as he spoke about it, rating the city on his “Munson Scale”. Was it educational? No. Was it useful information? Also, no. Was it entertaining? Yes.

Steve tried to lay his head on his desk, and get in a quick 30-minute nap, but was too captivated watching his Eddie entertain his students, he couldn't focus on anything, not even feeling tired anymore.

It was as if Eddie had carried the Sun in with him, and brought life back into Steve, and Steve was so thankful to have Eddie back home.

[sugar-omi]

Can I request some HC about Cove and cockwarming 👀

omfg yes you can

NSFW, gn reader, step 3 + 4 + DILF ! cove, multiple scenarios, prbly ooc bc dilf!cove is a menance over here ok, prbly ooc step 4 cove too but ion care imma babygirl him ‼️‼️

STEP 3 COVE

you can't expect an 18 year old to be normal or calm abt it

he's all whiny and tense

you're only on his dick long enough to adjust. both of you clinging onto each other and panting, tryna get used to such an intense feeling

you can try teasing him by cockwarming, but it really won't work

begs you to move, uses those big blues to try and sway you

will probably cry if you keep swirling your hips or clenching around him, he can't help but fall over the edge and lose his patience

doesnt matter if you you hold on long enough or are swayed by cove's sweet begging

but now it's your turn for your head to spin because cove thrusts up into you, holding you and hiding his face in your neck

I love the idea of him getting caught up in the moment again and flipping you over on your back and thrusting into you...

makes you finish first because I think he's totally obsessed with watching you finish, especially when you finish around him

STEP 4 COVE

you still can't expect him to be normal

but fuck does he love it

ik I haven't included switch cove n any of the other 2 scenarios (writing this bit last, yes I write backwards)

but I gotta tell you man...

he loves it sm

doesn't matter if it's a strap, loves cockwarming you

mmm, going throughout the day, splitting him open on your cock during different times of the day

please do ask him to stop doing a chore to sit in your lap, he's so weak rn

fuck, come up behind him n just slip in while he's washing dishes, he's in heaven rn

the whole day he's hard, ruined his pants w pre bc he's been in pieces the whole day

by the time you finally fuck him, he's in tears n so happy n pleased

also dies of happiness a bit when you cockwarm him

jfc doing it in the morning. or before bed, while you sleep...

is so turned on by this, sometimes he just can't do it and you'll wake up to cove squirming, apologizing but begging to fuck, begging to cum..

if he makes it through the whole night though... gets the pleasant scene of seeing you on too of him, grinding on his lap n telling him you should hurry up n finish before work<33

fuck imagine teasing him the same way dilf cove does (so spoilers lol)

n having him in your lap or you're in his, and you're tryna watch a show n you're moving your hips..

grinding on him, thrusting up into him..

either way he couldn't hold on, n now you have HIM on the coffee table or laid out on the couch, heart eyes while watching you take him while on top 🫶🫶

he's in love actually

DILF COVE

oh he does it for fun

this is a sport to him

how long can you sit on his cock until you either whine n beg, or you need to get back to the rest of the world

fuck, if you don't have kids or they're grown. he'll do it while you guys sleep<3

anyway🙈

this is almost like a punishment, n like I said, it's entirely for his entertainment n he'll fucking do it while he's watching TV or on the computer

will twist your nipple or rub your sex

kisses your sensitive neck or pushes your hips down

"sorry baby, I was grabbing a pen"

although at some point he'll surprise you by languishingly fucking you. his cock dragging against your walls...

it's so slow n such a tease n it's just enough to keep your stomach burning

omfg cockwarming while he plays a game or watches a show...

you're tryna watch this movie, but you're only half way paying attention if at all because of cove

it's a romance, or some shitty action movie with too many unnecessary sex scenes

every time the characters make out, kissing n groping each other

he's grabbing at you, groping your chest, teasingly stroking your sex, kissing you breathless..

and every sexy scenergy he thrusts up into you, holding your hips down while you cling onto his arms that are wrapped around your waist

either it ends in neither of you cumming, successfully edging yourselves until the end of the movie

or you bent over the coffee table or with your legs up, buried in the corner of the couch as cove works you both through one or two orgasms <33

just the sexual tension alone turns him on, will happily go all day, splitting you on his cock n then going about your day without cumming

fuck, he'll do it before work and then at dinner.. his younger self would've choked and died at just the thought

tells you you look so pretty cumming for him, also tells you some nasty shit like he's so pent up n can't wait to fuck you, can't wait to finish inside you

tells you he's been thinking abt it all day...

pls dilf cove so good n yet so bad for our hearts... 🫣

[blue-grama]

The Sign finale probably should have disappointed me, but... didn't?

It's been a heck of a run lately with Thai BLs that haven't quite stuck the landing, and it's got me pondering why The Sign worked for me despite sometimes feeling like a storyboard for a longer, better show.

I don't think they pulled off the emotional payoff they needed, despite that last reunion scene being so pretty and well-acted, simply because too much happened offscreen, from Khem's recovery from a gunshot wound to the entire multlifetime Tharn/Chalothon dynamic getting resolved without us seeing any of it. But somehow I wasn't that mad about it? And ultimately I think it's because this show did so many things well and so many things I'd love to see more of that I'm just like, yep, I enjoyed that ride sirs, please show me something this gorgeous again. In that sense it's joining something like Manner of Death or Kinnporsche where it's like, plot holes? Yes. Bizarre tonal shifts? Absolutely. Occasionally insane writing choices? Uh-huh. Love it anyway? You betcha. So here's what really, really worked for me:

Premise

I am always going to be onboard with QL that isn't solely coming-of-age or coming out. I'm not against those stories, of course, but give me gay romance with adult characters who know themselves and are doing adult things. I'm also a partisan for romances with high external stakes, so the mixture of crime and reincarnation was catnip to me.

Do I care that none of this training makes any sense? No.

2. Setting

Listen. Is The Sign the reason I have a document on my laptop titled "Imaginary trip to Thailand without ever seeing a beach?" Not exactly. But it's also not not the reason.

I am being willingly manipulated by the Thai Tourism Authority.

Kidding, kidding, but I do love when my Thai shows feel Thai or my Korean shows feel Korean, etc etc. I want to be driven to Wikipedia to learn more! Half the fun of watching stuff from not your own country.

3. Chemistry

I think @biochemjess covered what was underwritten about the romance in The Sign. Billy and Babe carried it on their backs and it was hard to dislike their romance, even when the series skipped over key beats.

Any time the pink lighting came out, you were gonna be in for a good time.

4. The camerawork

I don't know enough about film to speak intelligently about this, but the camerawork and aesthetics of this show were just so lovely to watch. It was really doing a lot. @chaos0pikachu wrote about it better than I ever could.

LOVED THIS. LOVED IT. So good.

We had some really lovely storytelling and visual parallels, too, like the first episode and finale both having a big action warehouse scene, or the multiple times that Phaya and Tharn ended up overlooking the Mekong river.

5. It was always kinda off the rails

I know some people felt this show started out with a strong premise and didn't live up to it, but I gotta say, I didn't have that experience. It was always kinda a bonkers watch for me. There were long training montages, random bodies in the shallows, missing genitals, extended performance art, that comedy flashback to Khem and Thongthai's college years... I never knew what I was going to get each Saturday. And I kind of loved that? I'm into unhinged. I was comparing this in my head to Last Twilight, which did disappoint me in the end, and I think it's because Last Twilight was NOT always bonkers and DID set itself up to tell a straighforward story, then dropped the ideas it had been juggling in the last episode. The Sign always felt chaotic to me, so a chaotic ending was par for the course. This is where I'd compare it to KinnPorsche, which had the weirdest fucking ending, but like, okay??? Why not!

End result? I see the flaws, but I'm giving this show tender forehead kisses anyway. Here's hoping for more like it.

[smartycvnt]

Hung Up

Title: Hung Up Pairing: Rhea Ripley x Reader Prompt: 4. "You care for the people you love." R WC: 1139

The arena went silent as they all stared over to where Y/n had just been knocked down. Almost everybody looked absolutely shocked by the events that had transpired. Damian had charged at Seth, who moved out of the way at the last second, causing Damian to suicide dive into Y/n. That spot had been planned and worked over for weeks, but the arena's set up had been wrong, so Y/n hit the back of her head as she went down. There was a sickening crack, and Y/n thought for a moment that she was dead. She couldn't hear or feel a thing, but within a few moments, the feeling returned to her in waves of pain.

Damian looked down at Y/n in horror at what he had accidentally done to her. Finn and Dom came sprinting around to check on Y/n without crowding her. Seth had been the first by Y/n's side, holding her hand while the medics rushed down to ringside. Inside the ring, Rhea stood there screaming at the referee to count Y/n and Seth out of the match. Y/n watched curiously as Rhea seemed completely unbothered by the entire situation. She only seemed to want to get Damian his title shot against Seth without him having to use his cash in. Y/n was glad that she was already crying from the physical pain because she couldn't have explained the wave of tears from Rhea's behavior.

"Hey kid, you're doing great. They're going to take you to the hospital. Do you want me to ride with you?" Seth asked as he squeezed Y/n's hand. She turned her neck towards him and opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. "Is it okay if I come with her?"

"Come on." Seth climbed into the ambulance alongside Y/n. He was determined not to leave her side as she went through all of the stupid tests and scans they needed before letting her go home. The verdict was a concussion, Y/n's first of her career. It wasn't good news, but Y/n was grateful that it wasn't a broken neck or anything along those lines. The concussion was bad, and she had to be monitored, but Y/n didn't mind getting the company. Several of her fellow superstars stopped by her hotel room to check up on her, but Rhea wasn't among them. In fact, Y/n had been checking her phone periodically throughout the night for a text or tweet or something from Rhea, only to come up with nothing.

Even Rhea's usual messages were absent while Y/n was stuck at home with an injury. Y/n was at Seth's side for a few backstage promos, but she wasn't cleared to go back into the ring for months. Y/n hated being stuck on the sidelines, but she hated Rhea ignoring her even more. It began to make more sense why Rhea had suddenly started paying attention to her whenever Y/n switched brands over to Raw with Seth. She had immediately sided up with her mentor and teacher as his right hand. Rhea had never cared about Y/n as a person, she just wanted to get one of her guys closer to his championship title. It was hard, but by the time that Y/n came back, she had accepted it as the truth.

"What has gotten into you lately?" Seth asked as he ran his hands along Y/n's arms to smooth out her sleeves. Y/n had learned long ago not to try and fight his dad instincts, but to instead just go along with them. It was sort of nice to have that figure in her life that had been missing for so long. There had been a time when she mistook his actions for romantic, and thankfully, Seth and Becky had never held it against her. Instead, they took her in as if she was one of their own.

"I'm tired of being the underdog. Tonight, I'm making Rhea feel like the underdog," Y/n answered. Seth took note of the intense look in her eye and recognized it as that of heartbreak. There was more to Y/n's issues with Rhea than she was letting on, but Seth was certain that it'd all come out in good time. He trusted that Y/n wouldn't hold it in until it destroyed her, she was smarter than that.

"Good luck out there," Seth said. Y/n went out without a cue to interrupt Rhea's championship match. There wasn't really anything that Y/n could actually do since Rhea was in a cage match, but just her presence proved to be a good enough distraction. Rhea let herself get caught off guard at the sight of Y/n after a few months of no contact at all. Y/n had gone dead on social media as she worked on bettering herself and creating her new gimmick. She was all about revenge and vendettas. She would right the wrongs that she felt had been committed against her, starting with taking away the title that Rhea had worked so hard to earn, which would go over as well as she expected it to.

"Hey! Hey! Why did you do that to me?" Rhea had chased Y/n down in the parking lot after the show. Y/n looked smug as she stared Rhea down. They had never been close to equals before, but now Rhea seemed smaller than ever. She had lost her title, and with that, a great deal of her confidence. "What the hell was that about? Now, I have to win my title back in a rematch."

"Man, that really sucks, but you can't expect them to take the title off of Liv that quickly, can you? I mean, you heard how pumped the crowd was. Hunter likes you, but he's not stupid enough to just pluck it out of her hands so quickly. It looks like you'll either have to run back to Raw or go to the end of the line," Y/n told her. Rhea growled in anger at the teasing undertone in Y/n's voice. "If you don't mind, I have a date with the new champion at the hotel."

"What if I would have needed you tonight? Don't you care about me anymore?" Rhea asked. "I thought you loved me."

"You care for the people you love. I'm just showing you the same love and care you showed for me when I got hurt." With that, Y/n was able to walk away from Rhea without a fight. She pulled her phone out as she went to shoot a text to Liv to confirm their meeting in the hotel bar when she got there.

[kekeplsloveme]

You're mine

Pairing: Eren x reader

Summary: In which the reader is Armin's little sister who gets corrupted by his best friend, Eren.

Warning: Modern!AU, NSFW, MINORS DNI, posessive Eren, one death threat but not towards the reader or anything , fuckboy!Eren, unprotected sex, dom!Eren (are you surprised?), sub!reader, dirty talk, the rest you can experience yourselves ;)

Word Count: 4k lets go

A/N: wrote this at 4 am, if you see any mistakes give me a break pls

 ��   Things have been different ever since you moved in with your brother. You do miss your parents and how they wouldn't leave you alone sometimes and you did miss having those family conversations in the living room right after you had your dinner and a crappy show on TV was playing as background noise. It's the little things that count towards the best moments in life, even if it just includes talking about nothing and watching a show that you never cared about.

     The few couple of weeks have been difficult; Armin welcomed you with open arms when you mentioned that you got accepted into the same University as he did and when he offered you a room in his apartment, you were over the moon. You have a good relationship with your brother. He's always been there for you when you needed a shoulder to cry on, always there to defend you to other kids even if he wasn't the strongest one there and would often get into fights he could never win. You loved him more than anything and he loved you just as much. Moving across the country to go to University was the thing that broke your heart the most. The day he left felt like you lost your family and your bestfriend. Sure, your parents were nice, but they didn't compare to how much you and Armin cared about each other.

      A part of why you applied to the same University as him was because of your brother. You wanted to see him again and not just a few times a year. Spending two years away from him was horrible.

     One thing that took you by surprise when you moved in with him was just how many friends he managed to make over just two years. He was part of a huge group of friends that would often hang out in his apartment since some of them either still lived with their parents or had shitty roomates that would ruin the fun. Armin was fortunate enough to have a decent internship the summer before he went to school and stuck with it, so rent was never a problem for him.

     You tried to hang out with them as well, but it was just not the same thing. You felt like they saw you as Armin's little sister instead of as your own person, so you stopped trying to become their friend. Who would want to feel tolerated and not wanted there? You never wanted to make the others feel like they must be nice to you because they like your brother, so you stopped hanging out with them whatsoever. You avoided them when they were over and that way you wouldn't just feel tolarated.  You hated that word so much.

     Just like tonight. Some of his friends were over and you stayed inside your room the entire evening. As you were typing on your laptop, you felt your stomach growl, reminding you that you need food to function. You looked at the clock that pointed to be a bit after midnight. You make your way to the door and put your ear against it, giving yourself a few seconds to listen and see if there's someone in the living room, but when there was nothing but silence, you left your room. Not like you could have been able to tell, your room is on the other side of the apartment.

      As you turned the corner to go into the living room that you needed to pass in order to get to the kitchen, you heard someone's voice. You could tell it was one of your brother's friends, but couldn't tell exactly. He is talking to someone on the phone, that much you can tell, but you waited too long to eat, so you went into the kitchen anyway. You're sure it's not that important anyway.

     "I know, I can't wait-" you heard Eren's voice as you walked inside. The moment you stepped foot into the room, he stopped talking to whoever was on the phone and excused himself under the pretext that he'd call later. It felt awkward; how he looked you up and down, how his eyes were still on you, how he followed you with his gaze as you made your way to the fridge.

     Eren was the one friend that you just couldn't stand. There was something about him that made you feel insecure and like he was trying to dominate the air in every room he was in. He was much taller than you were and you couldn't help but notice the fact that he liked to work out by how his arms looked and how much he liked to show it to everyone. And, God, did he like to tease you. You didn't need to hear it from anyone, but you knew just what a fuckboy Eren was. You could just take one look at him and know, he just gave off the vibe that he fucks everything that moves and you being his friend's little sister, were the perfect target for his teasing. Him being over all the fucking time didn't help your situation either.

     "You're up late," he said to you, but all you did was open the fridge and pour yourself a glass of orange juice. Suddenly, you lost your appetite. "Don't ignore me, little siren," you heard his voice behind you, not close enough to touch you, but close enough to give off that same intimidating feeling.

     "Where's Armin?" you changed the subject. You turned around to face him, holding the glass of orange juice in your hand, but he took it from you before you could even have a sip.

      "What, you're scared you're alone with me?" he drank from the glass and poured the rest in the sink. What a dick. When you didn't answer him, he continued. "Afraid he's driving his little girlfriend Annie home," he leaned on the counter as he spoke to you. You couldn't help yourself from looking at his arms. He worked out today, it was obvious by how good-  by how his lower arms looked. The veins on his arms were the obvious sign.

      "Why did you not go with them, then?" you crossed your arms over your chest in an attempt to give off a confident feel, but you couldn't compare to him.

     "Relax, princess, he's on his way back," Eren got a few steps closer to you. Your back was against the wall next to the fridge, which you pressed even harder into it as he got closer and close to you. It was obvious he knew exactly what he was doing to you and he enjoyed every moment of it. "This necklace," he pointed out, gently grabbing the silver jewelry around your neck. "So pretty," he let go of it and brushed the side of your neck with his fingers and thumb on the other side.

     You couldn't help but feel butterflies in your stomach as he was teasing you like this, pushing the boundaries and pushing you at the same time. He finally pressed his hand into your neck, a gentle squeeze. Not hard enough to stop you from breathing, but hard enough to feel good. "Do you like my hand around your throat?" he whispered in your ear, pressing his chest on yours, pinning you against the wall with his hand and body. "You're so quiet, don't have anything to say to save yourself?"

     You gasped quietly, secretly, but not so subtly loving whatever Eren was doing with you right now. You avoided eye contact with him, you didn't want to see that stupid look on his face right now. He brushed yoru jaw with his thumb and moved his hand further up your face. "Look at me," he ordered you as he grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him, forcing you to go through the painful process of making eye contact with him as he was melting your brain. He's never went so far before, but you knew that with your reaction to all of this, he won't be stopping any time soon. "You're so pathetic," he whispered to you, a smirk forming on his face. "You just like to be talked down on, don't you?" He shook your head, puckering your lips by the way he was holding your face now. "Not a thought inside that head, other than getting fu-" Eren was interrupted by the sound of the front door being unlocked. That same smirk he had got even bigger. He let go of your face, but leaned down to whisper in your ear. "I thought you were like that, but fuck," he chuckled, "I had no idea Armin's little sister was such a submissive little slut." He put distance between you and himself, just as Armin turned the corner to come inside the kitchen.

     He took one look at you, one look at Eren and then another at you. "Is everything okay?" he asks us, but neither me or Eren answer, both for different reasons. "Because each time you two are in the same room, you rip each other's heads off so it's hard to believe you're getting along."

     "Nope, we're good," Eren steps in to answer. "Right, princess? Tell your brother we're fine." Even in front of your brother he can't help himself, but you can't lie and say that Eren talking to you like this doesn't turn you on at all.

     "Yeah, we're fine," you answer Armin, but you were looking at Eren. Eren smiled at you and turned to leave the Kitchen, grabbing your brother as well. At least he got you out of this embarrassing situation.

     The moment you get back to your room, you close your door and press your back on it, allowing yourself to fall to the ground. "What the fuck..." you whisper to yourself, disbelief washing over you, a wave of shame and embarrassment overcoming you as you play what happened between you and Eren on a loop in your head. It was hot, like really hot, and the way he talked to you... You were starting to understand why so many girls want to fuck him, he definitely knows what he's doing. But one thing he told you stands out in particular. How you're submissive. You've had boyfriends before, but none of them any dominant tendancies, so the idea of you being submissive never occurred to you. What was Eren going to do about this now? Is he still going to tease you or did things get worse?

***

     A couple of weeks went by since you saw Eren. Saying that you were doing your best to avoid him was an understatment, but you know that it didn't matter how much you wanted to avoid him at all costs, he is still your brother's friend and he'd still come hang out with him here. Just like today.

     Every few weeks they gather here at your brother's and throw a small party, just enough for them and not anyone else outside the group. It's more like a group hangout with music, alcohol and weed, rather than a party. Normally, you'd say hi to everyone when they got here just to be nice, grab a drink and go back to your room, but you didn't step foot outside your door at all. They've been here for a couple of hours already, and boredome did start to get the best of you. You still can't decide if you were bored because you were all alone in your room or because you wanted to see Eren again, but you tried not to think about that too much.

     As you opened your bedroom door to finally step out, you bumped right into Eren's chest who was about to open your door. You looked up at him, the smell of alcohol and weed fresh on him, it was intoxicating, but you wanted more. "Eren," you said almost as a whisper, feeling your breath get stuck in your chest. Now you know, you definitely were bored because of him.

     "Hey there, little siren," he answered you, placing his hands on your shoulders and moving you backwards, away from the door so he can step in. "You've been avoiding me." Eren pointed out and closed the door with his leg, briefly taking his hand off of you so he can lock the door. Seeing him do that made you feel nervous, but also sent butterflies in your stomach. "Tell me why."

     That same intimidating feeling got to you again. He was so demanding, but also it was so hot to be bossed around by him like this. When you hesitated to answer, he turned you around so your back was against the door. "When I talk to you, " he said as he wrapped his fingers around your throat again, but this time he wasn't as careful as last time. "You answer me," he continued, tightening his grip on your neck. The first time he did it felt like he was just testing the waters, seeing how far I let him play with me, but this time he's taking what he wants. It was hard to breathe, but you loved it. Loved the control he had over you and loved how he made you submit just by existing, how he didn't need to do anything to you to prove just how easily he can mess with your mind. "So answer me. Why were you avoiding me?"

     The look on his face was pure lust. You knew exactly why he came to your room and it was definitely not to just have a chat. "You noticed I was," you answered him, even if it wasn't the answer he was looking for.

     Eren chuckled and let go of your neck, moving his fingers inside your hair. He gripped a fistful of your hair at the base of you scalp, getting a good grip on it without making it hurt too much  for you. "Yeah, I fucking noticed," he answered you as he tilted your head to the side, leaving your neck fully exposed to him. He pressed his lip on it -  one small kiss here, another one there, until he was sucking on one spot right below your ear. You felt your knees go weak, the pleasure from just kissing your neck was overwhelming you, but your neck has always been your most sensitive spot.

     "Eren, stop," you make a pathetic attempt at pushing him off, but all he did was grab your wrist and slam it above your head, now his lips on a different spot on your neck. "Eren, please, don't leave any marks, Armin will know." You sucked a breath in, almost losing control over how he laughed against your skin.

     "You sound so good when you beg, princess," he said to you, brushing his thumb over the two hickeys he left on your neck. "I'll mark you if I want, got it?" He informed you, a smile making its way on his face. "You tried so hard to avoid me just to let me do whatever I want to you now, huh?" He let go of your hair and grabbed your other wrist, putting it against the first one. "You've been thinking about me."

     "Think about you?" you let out a little laugh, but Eren saw right through it. "Please, don't be so full of yourself," you continued, this false act of confidence not even coming across as half believable.

     "I've been thinking about you," he said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. His right hand started roaming on your body. "How obedient and what a good girl you were for me that night," he moved his hand to your lower back, pulling you in closer to his body. "It's so hard to find such a submissive slut, you know that?" he let go of your wrists and dragged you to your desk, pushing the books and notebooks from it on the ground. "On the desk, now."

     You followed his orders in a heartbeat, taking a seat on your desk in front of him. "Have you really been thinking about me?" you ask him in a shy and quiet tone. Your cheeks were blushing a bright pink colour and you could feel just how wet you were. Eren was driving you insane and you couldn't help but fall deeper in the hole he dug for you.

     Eren grabbed your thighs and pulled you in closer to him, your ass right on the edge of the desk as he took a seat on your chair, right in front of you. "Fuck, you were the only thing o my mind, little siren," he pulled of your shorts, but leaving your panties on for you. "The way you were looking at me when my hand was around your throat," he rubbed your inner thigh, spreading your legs in the process. "How good it will feel when I finally get my hands on you and ruin you," he looked up at you and smirked. "How sweet you must taste," Eren grabbed your panties and threw them on the ground. The next thing you know, his tongue was pressed flat against your clit and he was holding you in place by having a strong grip on your thighs.

     He was talented with his mouth in ways you couldn't even describe. His tongue was working magic on your clit and two of his fingers were rubbing all the right spots inside your pussy. "Ah- fuck, Eren," you moaned out and ran your fingers through his hair to hold onto for support. You  started grinding your hips into his mouth, feeling yourself reach your orgasm. It's been so long since you've done this with someone and with how much Eren's been teasing you and the weeks of torment are a recipe for not lasting long at all.

     "Eren, please, " you whines, your mind starting to become fuzzy with pleasure. "I'm so close, please let me cum," your fingers were holding onto his hair like it was the only thing that can keep you alive. "Ah, Eren," you couldn't help yourself from moaning his name, it was just rolling off your tongue and the only thing on your mind. "Ah, please, please, I'm gonna-"

      Your high was cut short before it even happened. The moment those words left your mouth, Eren detached himself from your pussy and got up from the chair. You felt dizzy, you were right there, right there  and he just took it all from you. Your eyes got full of tears, not because you were sad, but because of the sheer amount of pleasure that was ripped away from you, your body doesn't seem to comprehend what you just went through. "Eren..." you spoke out in a shaky voice.

     "As hot as it was hearing you moan my name, " Eren said to you as he wiped his mouth and chin on his t-shirt. "You're not cumming anywhere other than my cock, got it?" You nodded your head and accepted it. All you wanted right now was to please him and nothing else.

     Eren picked you up like you weighted nothing and threw you on your bed. He was so strong, you didn't need to move a muscle in order for him to get whatever he wanted.

     "If I ever see you with anyone else," he started speaking to you as he took his shirt off and threw it on the ground, "I'll kill him." Those words sent butterflies to your stomach. You've never had someone say that to you, but you also didn't know what Eren was capable of. The unknown factor of this whole thing made things so much hotter for you.

     "I'm not yours, Eren," you answered him, pushing that posessivness of his even further. "I'm not your girlfriend and you didn't even kiss me," You ran your hands on his arms, feeling his muscles under your touch.

     "Is that how it works?" Before you could answer, Eren slammed his lips on yours, sealing the deal with a kiss just like you said. He was passionate and agressive, taking control of the kiss without hesitation and you letting him have control without fighting back.  "There," he said, grabbing your cheeks again and holding your face still. "You're fucking mine, little siren," he smirked, enjoying the sheer amount of lust in your eyes, all that lust only for him. "The moment you cum around my cock then I'll own you," you heard his belt buckling and his trousers hitting the floor.

     He grabbed his dick and rubbed it on your pussy, coating it in your juices and his silava. You could feel just how big he was with him rubbing himself on you. "Eren..." You said as you grabbed his arm.

     "I know baby," he reassured you, "I know I'm big, but you'll take it as a good girl, right?" He positioned his tip to your entrace, not pushing it in yet. "I'll make it fit, I'll make you scream for God," he pushed in the tip, getting the head in only. You were so wet and warm around him, you wrapped around his cock so good, it took a lot of effort not to cum inside of you in that moment.

     He started moving inside of you slowly, giving you a few minutes to get used to his size, but the moment that you started moaning instead of hissing and grunting in pain, there was no going back. He set up a fast and hard pace, knocking all your thoughts out of your head. You just felt so good, so warm, so wet, so tight. You wrapped around him like a glove, the pleasure was overwhelming both of you. The only things that could be heard in the room was the sound of the skin slapping against each other and both of you moaning, especially Eren. You never took him as the vocal one, but how would you be able to know any better? His moans sounded so sweet and  filled with pleasure. He was so loud, letting himself fall into all the pleasure he was feeling, allowing you to know just how good your body makes him feel, how he claimed you as his own and held to his words.

     "Eren," you moaned his name again, getting his attention to you.

     "Yeah, baby?" he answered you, picking up the pace he set earlier. His movements were erratic and desperate, he was chasing his high just as hard as you were chasing yours. When he noticed you couldn't form any sentence without mumbling and moaning, he knew exactly what you wanted to say. "You're gonna cum around my dick, baby?" he moved his left hand to your clit, rubbing it in order to help you go over the edge. "Let it go baby, i got you," he reassured you, whispering in your ear in between his moans and grunts of pleasure. "I got you," he repeated, feeling himself get to the edge.

     The next thing you know, your body felt like it was going to explode from the overwhelming amount of pleasure Eren gave you. The room was spinning and you felt as tears rolled down your cheeks. It all was so much, more than you've ever felt with any other partner you've ever had before. The moment you were done chasing your high, Eren did a few more thrusts before getting himself in as deep as he could as he also let go and chased his high. Your hands were on his cheeks, holding him as his  knees buckled, the pleasure overwhelming him as well.

     "So are we together now?"

     Eren looked at you and started laughing, pulling out from inside of you with a sharp breath. "Yes, princess. We are."

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Can I Stay? (A Baekhyun Story) Part 1.

Pairing: You x Baekhyun

Rating: M

Word Count: 6.9k

Warnings: an unspecified age difference, this is an English story that uses the word Noona for lack of another word in English that carries the same feeling, if you don’t like this, then don’t read this story.

Author‘s note: remember all those years ago I said I’d write a Baekhyun x Noona fic? This is that fic.

Inspired by the Ray LaMontagne song Can I Stay

Links: Can I Stay: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Your new assistant was going to be a problem.

You clocked him as a problem before he walked through the doors of your office.

You spotted the danger a mile away the moment you saw the memo from the President of the company’s personal secretary advising you that a new member of your team would be starting today. A new member whose presence you’d never requested; who’s resume you’d never even seen, and whose last name was suspiciously identical to that company President’s whose Secretary was asking you — no, telling you to welcome your brand new, fresh out of college, probably fresh out of his dear mothers warm hugs and kisses embrace, with as much of a warm welcome as if you were welcoming the President himself.

Not only did you get thrust into your lap a most likely spoiled rotten nepotism baby, but now he was sitting across from your desk staring back at you with a bright beautiful smile of plenty of professionally straightened teeth and an even brighter happy go lucky personality that told you that this strapping young man had never known a day of struggle in his entire life — as short as that life had been so far.

An assistant should be younger than you anyway, right? You wouldn’t feel right bossing a homely old man around all day.

Did that young assistant have to be so very pretty though? Did he really have to be sitting there so damn moist and tender, looking at you with his head cocked to the side as if he had been jumping to as many conclusions about you as you had about him?

“I’m Byun Baekhyun. I like playing video games and working out. I can’t eat cucumber or spicy food. Please take care of me, Miss Manager Noona.” His words pulled his pink lips into a pout as he spoke and the sounds of his voice had just enough of a nasal whine that you wondered if he simply always got his way all of the time with everyone he knew.

You frowned and ticked your head back and forth at the name he called you. “Just Manager.” You corrected sternly and his wide smile dipped into a pronounced pout. The kind one might see on a little kid who’d just dropped his ice cream cone. You heard a nasal grunt of complaint come from the back of his throat and you hated how quickly that sound strummed a particular chord inside of your chest. You felt weirdly rebuked for the quick rebuttal and your lips dropped open almost against your will, “I mean, it’s just that…”

Just when you’d opened your mouth to speak he’d already moved on, “So what do I do here, Miss Manager…?” His words out loud stopped at the word Manager but you caught the movement of his lips as he silently mouthed the forbidden word ‘Noona.’ Clearly thinking he’d gotten away with something, his bright smile was back and as he asked his question he leaned forward with both of his elbows bent on the edge of your desk. His head peaked around to steal glimpses at the various pieces of work both open on your desk and brought up on your computer screen. You had been up to your ass in it before he walked in here and the thought of pausing all of this progress to train this guy was making your stress ulcer act up. You had deadlines to meet if you were going to get this script to the Assistant Directors in time for them to begin filming the next episode. The directors had deadlines, the locations were booked and paid for, the sponsor checks had long ago been cashed, and the reality show talent had a schedule that, contractually, could not be delayed. You simply did not have time for this inexperienced man to be asking you silly questions like “So what do I do here, Noona?”

You pulled a long breath into your lungs through your nose and closed your eyes for a moment, harnessing your self control. It wasn’t his fault you were overwhelmed with work. It wasn’t his fault he was born into a life of privilege and comfort. It wasn’t his fault that you didn't have time to train an entire new employee on the complicated job that sat before you. It was, maybe, perhaps his fault though, that the full head of bottle blonde hair you saw on top of his head had just enough highlights in it to bring out the pink in his cheeks and lips and make him look like something straight out of a boy band.

By the time you’d finished taking in your several calming deep breaths and you put your eyes back on him he was standing over your desk with his eyes peering over the document you had been working through for the past hour.

He was reading and mouthing the words, although from upside down you doubted he could tell what he was looking at, yet you watched curiously as he stuck a slim finger forward to touch the corner of one of the papers. You had been going over translations. Making sure the wording was correct, yes, but ultimately safe for widespread distribution. Your copy had red slashes through it with changes and suggestions. You were the final set of eyes that would approve this language that would be distributed proudly with your companies name all over the world.

“I think this one is no good,” he pointed to a single word on the document that had seemed innocuous enough for you to skip over it entirely. “That word,” his fingertip was stopped on a noun in the middle of the page, “means something very, very naughty in Brazil.”

Your eyes glanced down to where he pointed, surprised first for him to catch on to this task so quickly without you even having to explain it, and second to learn that sometimes a seashell is not just a seashell.

“That’s what you are doing with this, right?” He was grabbing the stack of papers from your desk now. “Give it, you have more important things to do, Miss Manager…” Again his lips continued the next two syllables in silence and you realized that this man was probably the most stubborn person you would ever meet in your entire life, and you were about to be permanently sealed into his mind as his Noona, whether you allowed it or not.

And it wasn’t that you approved of any of this anyway. But by the time your brain turned back on, the documents were already in his hands and he grabbed the red pen and started marking the page on top.

You had no choice but to allow it. The mere thought of someone taking away even a fraction of your workload felt like some sort of a dream come true. Plus, it really did seem like he had some idea of what he was doing. Part of you was genuinely curious as to how he would do.

You glanced over at him occasionally as he read through the pages making his notes and you soon found yourself immersed in the next task that was due soon.

Your focus was interrupted when a chipper sing-songy tune sounded out in his voice beside you, “I’m do-ne,” he called out and the script plopped down on your desk. His eyes were bright and his wide smile was back as his eyebrows wagged in the direction of the stack of papers he’d proudly presented you with.

You’d only made it through the first page when he started speaking again — this time without the singing.

“Did I do well? Do you like it? Can I stay?”

You were leafing through the pages, finding the spot where you left off and where he took over and you quickly read through the lines, taking care to read every suggestion he had made as well as the suggestions he had not made on the chance that in his inexperience he had missed something.

It looked pretty good. You didn’t tell him that though.

“Where did you say you came from again Mr…?”

“Baekhyun. I am Byun Baekhyun and I am yours now. You can use me however you like.” His wide smile had not so much as trembled since he’d brought the script back to you and the jovial attitude did not let up as he delivered to you one of the strangest, most ridiculous promises you’d ever received from anyone in your professional career.

You kept your face blank and ignored his eagerness. At least he was enthusiastic.

“Can you take this down to QC for final approval, Baekhyun…and do you have, like, a resume or something I can look at?”

He nodded with his eyes wide and he was digging through his bag for something. What he handed back to you was a tablet. The electronic kind that kept the little kids quiet at restaurants. His fingers tapped on the screen as he peered over your shoulder he brought up a picture in his photo gallery that seemed to be just a screen shot of his resume. He had to flip past various personal pictures as he did it and you did your best not to focus on any of it until he’d reached the one intended for you to see. There was nothing inappropriate from the looks of it. But it didn’t seem polite of you to snoop.

You did see some things though. Not that you were trying to see anything, but the picture right before the resume was one of him sitting in the driver’s seat of some fancy foreign car with a sweet smile on his face and a different color of hair that if you were being honest looked just as good, if not better than the blonde he had now.

“Sorry Noon—Uhh, Miss Manager, I don't have a printed copy on me but you can look at it there.” His hands were busy putting the paperwork carefully into a large white envelope so he could deliver it all to Quality Control and his head whipped back around with an afterthought for you, “You can just scroll to see the next page, okay?”

He was gone before you could answer him.

His resume showed promise. He’d graduated from an expensive Ivy League, of course, and had spent a few years abroad on various internships, no doubt landed with the ease of his family’s connections in the industry. You’d reached the end of the first page feeling somewhat hopeful that this time your new assistant would prove himself to be quite useful to you for however long he stayed in such a bottom level position. He would probably last no longer than a half a year before he rocketed to the top of the chain of command. The next page had various awards and honors achieved throughout his education and you glanced at the dates that he attended school, cursing your ability to do some quick mental math to guess his age.

He was young. A good amount of years younger than you, that was certain. Of course he was young, his skin still had traces of that smooth soft baby fat in his cheeks. Your finger scrolled back to the first page of his resume and with your fingertip still connected to the glass you allowed the picture to backtrack just a little, so the edges of the image of him smiling behind the steering wheel of that car showed just a little.

You had no business doing this. What were you thinking? You were just some delusional old lady thankful that she had an extra five minutes to her own thoughts thanks to her brand new assistant’s skills with a red pen. You quickly swiped away, back to the safety of the approved viewing material. Page one of Byun Baekhuun’s resume. You swiped again, a little too forceful for this tablet and page two quickly filled your screen. Perhaps the third swipe you made was out of spite but you gasped out loud when the next image in his picture gallery filled the screen of the tablet completely.

A wave of panic filled you and you quickly raced to undo what you had just done, what you had just seen.

You went back. It wasn’t enough.

You went back again, desperate for what you had just seen to be erased from your memory, but no matter how long you stared at the words on that screen, no matter how forcefully you exited out of the gallery entirely, closing the whole thing up and then finally giving up, locking the tablet and putting it to sleep, that image crept back up again and again and again.

Soon the desperation turned to bargaining. And bargaining turned to acceptance. It was normal really for a woman like you, a single, lonely, overworked woman like you to have this sort of reaction to accidentally seeing an attractive shirtless man standing poolside with the sun at his back and wetness glistening over his skin and broad chest and abs and other various well defined, firm, manly muscles.

Anger followed next. You were pretty sure you were going in the wrong order here, but how dare he put that picture in his tablet and just tell you to scroll. It was so easy for him to say it too as if he wanted you to find the picture and admire the time and work he put into building all of those muscles in his body. What if you had been caught in a trap. What if this was some sort of a test by HR to see if you needed to be sent to sensitivity training for sexual predators. What if there was a tracking device on that picture and there was now a blaring nipple warning happening in some control room upstairs.

A soft and pleasant ding interrupted your thoughts and you had a message waiting from Dami in the QC department. Baekhyun must have delivered the package by now. A quick glance at the clock on your computer told you that he had been gone for some time now and you half wondered if perhaps he had gotten lost on his way back.

“Oh my god. WHO. WAS. THAT?!!!??”

“I take it you got the revisions — please be quick, I’ve had 1st AD breathing down my neck all morning.”

“Gotcha. You made some interesting choices with this but I'm into it. What was wrong with those seashells?”

“Vulgar slang, censored in the Brazil market.”

“Ohh-la-la, great catch! This is why you’re the best.”

Her latest message stared back at you as your fingers refused to type a response. The last thing you wanted was to accept someone else’s work as your own, but you also really want to spend too much time on this distracting conversation that was keeping you and her both from your work. A simple emoji would do the trick. A smiley face, or a rolled eyes emoji maybe. Something that didn't exactly make claims to the potential slip up that Baekhyun caught on his first upside down glance at the script that you somehow missed even after looking over it twenty times.

Maybe you needed to brush up on your international slang terms for various sexual acts and their involved genitalia.

“My new assistant, Baekhyun, caught that one.” The long pause between her misdirected compliment and your delayed confession made you feel just a little bit guilty for any potential misunderstandings you might have opened yourself up to.

“Even his name is pretty.”

[She should see his muscles] an uninvited guest in the back of your brain whispered and you winced when it happened.

As soon as the thought crossed your mind you felt the shame of its aftermath course through you. That was the last thing you needed to be thinking about.

You didn't have much time to dwell on it because there was a sudden commotion outside of your office door. You heard the sound of someone’s shrill shouting, overdramatic screaming really and the telltale sounds of someone being thoroughly scolded. At the exact same time an alarm was sounding out on your phone telling you it was time to make it to your biweekly meeting with the directors and assistant directors upstairs. You quickly grabbed your laptop and calendar and made your way out of your door to see what in the world all of the fuss was about.

The carpet outside was littered with assorted papers and standing in the middle of the mess with his head hung down in shame was your assistant, looking sheepish and guilty. The source of the shrieking, as usual, was Carla, one of the less organized members of the translating team. You could see the now empty document tray sitting just at the edge of her desk and you imagined that she had set the whole thing precariously close to the edge again just tempting fate.

“What am I supposed to do with this now? This was my whole day’s work and you’ve made a huge mess of it all! Who even are you? Are you supposed to be in here?”

Baekhyun’s head dipped lower and his cheeks were bright pink as he was scolded again and again for bumping into her teetering tower and sending it crashing down to the ground, as you had seen happen around her desk at least once a week.

“Sorry, but I hardly even touched…” He was opening his mouth now, and as he began to protest what he thought was an unfair scolding you saw her lift up a rolled piece of paper and bonk him squarely on the top of his head with it.

You knew it was time to intervene and you cleared your throat noisily to make your presence known.

Carla’s hand with the rolled up paper dropped in an instant and her eyes widened as she looked at you in surprise.

“M…Manager, He…”

Baekhyun’s face whipped to look to you and you noted the apprehension in his eyes and the way he pulled his lips into the smallest pouty frown.

“Carla, why don't you and Emily work together on this? I know you’ve been working very hard all alone this week. Emily, let’s push back your workload to next week, hmm?” You pivoted to address the rest of your team as to not call attention to Carla alone.

“Everyone, let’s not stack everything on the edge of our desks. Let’s try and keep a clean workspace for everyone so accidents like this don't happen so often.”

You did your best to keep any bit of reproach out of your voice and it must have worked just enough to satisfy the easily excited girl because she closed up her mouth and flattened out her angry eyebrows with a small shrug.

You weren't above cleaning up a little mess here and there. As soon as you were done talking you dropped down to your knees and started gathering the papers up into a stack, the moment you moved, the rest of the team all dropped to their knees to do the same. Baekhyun was the first at your side, reaching for papers and pulling them out of your hands as you made neat stacks and he placed them carefully on the opposite side of Carla’s desk next to the partition, safe from literally anyone who might want to walk through this office.

“Baekhyun, I have a meeting upstairs, why don't you tag along so you can see what that’s like?”

“Yes ma’am,” he whispered beside you with a smile building on his face again and he moved quickly, keeping directly behind your steps as you moved down the hallway to the elevators.

“Noona, I’m so sorry about that earlier — I didn’t mean to cause trouble. I don't even know how it happened. All of a sudden she was just yelling at me. ”

“Manager, Baekhyun,” you corrected quickly as you stepped into the elevator first and he followed behind with a sheepish smile creeping up on his face. “And you didn't cause any trouble. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“You were so cool though. You felt like a hostage negotiator, freeing me from my kidnapper. What did you think of my resume? Am I a man that meets your high standards?” His questions came in rapid succession one after another and you held your composure well at the mention of that damned resume of his.

That resume and those muscles.

“You’re smart and you seem capable enough,” and young and firm and handsome as all hell, “I’m sure you’ll do fine while you are here.”

You gripped your calendar in your fist and tapped it lightly against his belly. He grunted once and grabbed it with his free hands. “Pay attention to that. You’ll need to follow my schedule.”

He smiled and shone brightly in response with an energetic head nod and he spent most of the upstairs meeting leafing through your calendar, making small marks on certain dates and pulling out his cell phone to no doubt copy certain entries into his own phone calendar.

Baekhyun’s first day was eventful but he was very promising. The next days and weeks to come were interesting in a way you hesitated to define.

He proved himself valuable to you instantly. He was indeed smart and capable and had a sense about him that you hadn’t seen before in a coworker. Having him at your side not only made your own job infinitely easier, but you noticed your mood had lightened when he was around.

He was cheerful and funny and although you tried your absolute best not to encourage his jokes or god forbid, laugh at them, the first time you slipped and let a quick chuckle out over something stupid he’d said he looked at you with wide eyes and the proudest grin on his face. You had to instantly roll your eyes for damage control.

“That’s the first time I’ve ever made you laugh. Noona, admit it, you like me just a little bit.”

You’d given up on trying to break him of that nickname after the first week of him just ignoring your attempts. The first time you’d answered to it, you knew it was over. You’d screwed up.

And you just did it again with the laugh. He was holding something very important just out of your reach as he sometimes did when his mood grew playful and you had been doing your best not to kick him in the shins so he would drop the stupid thing that you just needed your final signature of approval so you could move on to the next thing that needed your immediate attention.

“I never said I didn’t like you, Baekhyun, this is work. We are working right now. If I miss this deadline that’s it for me and for you and for the entire department out there.”

“So when the project wraps you’ll have a drink with me and then you’ll laugh at all of my jokes? You promise?” He dropped the papers just enough for you to be able to touch the corner of them and you gripped them tightly, pulling them hard into your hands with a force that instantly made him let go. He knew the penalties of destroying something at the last minute and no amount of playfulness would make him risk having to run around re-gathering important person’s signatures with just one hour until shooting began.

It was what you needed and you signed quickly with a pen, passing them back into his arms with an urgency on your voice.

“Fine. Go. Now.” He was out the door without a second word. Of course he was playing about drinks with you. Of course he was playing with you about liking him just a little bit. This was just what he did and he didn't mean any of it at all. This guy was so far out of your league he had his own fan club.

He was very highly sought after by all of the young ladies in this office alone, and you had heard rumors of his popularity in the rest of the building.

Why wouldn't he be joking with you? It made no sense for you to take any of it seriously and you knew it deep down inside of you.

You made for a quick fluff in the mirror on your wall and a touch up of your makeup along with slipping on a classy professional jacket and the heels you kept in your office for situations that required you to look just a little more presentable than usual. You had another meeting to attend for an upcoming project. Something new and different that required you to meet with a whole new team of very important people to sell yourself and your team and their highly sought after skill set. You pressed the elevator button and caught a glimpse of your reflection in the shining silver elevator doors and just behind you saw the familiar bounce of his blonde hair as he rushed to your side to join you at this meeting. He was huffing and puffing from clearly running through the office to get back to you. You noticed the flush in his cheeks and what looked like dust on his jacket. His hair was just a little messy too. You always did your best not to look too closely at Baekhyun. The few times you did allow it your mind would wander into forbidden places and you noticed that it never took very long for him to catch you watching him.

He didn’t need to attend this one. It was more of a schmoozing event than any sort of technical planning meeting but the sight of his bright smile brought you a strange comfort so you didn’t send him away. Inside the elevator you noticed he was watching your face rather closely and when you turned to him in question he lifted a finger up to his lips and pointed.

“Your lipstick has a little smudge.”

Great. Just what you needed. You tried to look your best and just ended up a mess again. You reached up and rubbed lightly below your bottom lip and he shook his head and took a step closer to you and lifted his own hand to your face.

You froze and held your breath and you stared into his face in shock as the tip of his finger ran a path down the edge of your upper lip. He cocked his head to the side and his eyes slipped into your own for a split second and you were sure that you noticed his cheeks darken a shade. Had your own cheeks given you away so easily as well?

Baekhyun cleared his throat but he wasn’t done and he was no longer looking into your eyes as he did this. He made another, firmer pass of his index finger over the edge of your upper lip and you instinctively pulled your lips inward and squeezed them together, pretending as if you needed to spread your lipstick more instead of just getting away from his fingertips that touched you in this quiet and private place.

As you did it, he moved again. His hand lifted to run his fingertips along your temple, where you must have had an errant strand of hair that he slowly and carefully tucked behind your ear. You kept your breathing calm and steady and you kept your face impassive, but the racket inside of your own chest as your heart beat took on a life of its own was distracting and terribly concerning. You were a mess deep down inside. You were just so good at hiding it from him.

“There,” he whispered. “Beautiful,” he said even quieter, almost entirely under his breath just as the sound of elevator dinging made you jump with the sudden intrusion.

You were the first one out. You didn’t hear his footsteps behind you as you usually did and when you risked a quick glimpse behind you, you noticed he hadn’t yet left the elevator and his focus seemed distracted and lost.

“Baek,” you called and his eyes snapped back to life before the elevator doors closed on him. He shook his head lightly and took three big steps to take his place at your side. His smile was nowhere to be found and his eyes didn't quite meet yours and something about him made the air in this blasted hallway feel awkward and claggy and downright difficult to breathe in.

“Oh, I feel—,” you let out a breath through your pursed lips and whispered out loud to yourself as you placed a hand over your chest to calm your beating heart, “—-nervous,” you admitted in defeat, pausing outside of the heavy wooden doors.

“Because of the meeting?” A quiet question eked out in a familiar voice behind you and you refused to meet his eyes.

“Of course, why else?” You answered flatly and quickly but his reply did not come as quick. What came instead was a sharp inhale of breath pulled into the lungs of the man who stood behind you at this door.

“Right,” he said softly with a small exhale through his nose. “Why else.” He agreed out loud. You must have imagined just a hint of disappointment in that exhale. Of course you’d imagined it. It probably originated inside of your own head, really. Everyone knew you had no business feeling any sort of way about your assistant Byun Baekhyun. Whether it be disappointment; or heart flutterings; or attraction; or desire; all of it was off limits.

“Baekhyun, this is a very important meeting.” You inhaled slowly and deeply and stole a glance to your left where Baekhyun stood and you noticed he had what looked like an entire leaf stuck to the top of his head.

What?

The more you looked at him the messier he actually seemed and you knew that behind that door would be a multitude of very important, very rich people who held your future in their hands. People who very likely did not have dirt on their coats and leaves in their hair.

This would not do. There was an empty hallway near the stairwell at the end of the corridor. You’d often used that quiet space to regroup before these kinds of meetings. You knew there was a bench and a clock on the wall that did not tick as it’s big hands spun around its face. You reached for his arm and pulled him

“Why are you so messy? What happened to you?” You pulled him fast and he complied with rushed steps to the sanctuary of that quiet space and when you pushed at his shoulders, sending him down to sit in front of you on the bench, he did so with a soft grunt of surprise and zero resistance. Baekhyun never ever resisted anything from you. You’d overheard him downright arguing with some of the other staff members before but he took being your assistant quite seriously and treated even small requests from you as if they had been laws set in stone to follow.

He was just a little bit ridiculous but mostly he was just the best.

“Before, when I was getting signatures, the paper flew away in the wind and I had to chase it down. There was a bush…” You brushed at his coat with your fingertips, patting harder to get some of the dirt to fall off and you had to step closer to him to get at the leaves in his hair. There were two and they were small and dried and they crumbled into a million bits when you grabbed them, making you have to pull apart the strands of his blonde hair carefully to remove every last bit of them.

“…it flew under the bush in the courtyard and I had t-to…”

You knew you were leaning into him and he seemed to abruptly stop his explanations when you took another step placing your feet in the spaces around where his feet parted, you felt the roundness of his kneecap brush against the inside of your inner knee and he had gone completely still and his words quit entirely. The part of your brain where you kept your most incriminating secrets about him sounded alarms and warning bells. You ignored the cacophony in favor of this necessary task at hand.

It took some doing but you’d gotten all of the mess out of his hair. There was a small pile of broken and dried leaves sitting in the palm of your hand and you noticed some more dirt on the breast of his dark blue coat. It was a dark enough colored coat that the dirt would definitely show so you reached down with your empty hand, laying your palm over the spot, you tried to brush the dirt away. It didn’t budge as easily as you wished it would and a second pass with your hand, with more pressure seemed to work better.

It was almost done. He was nearly perfect again but when your hand returned for one more pass your mind’s alarms rang as you caught on to the firmness and the warmth you felt below his coat. the feeling of him inside of these clothes.

Your stupid intrusive thoughts that you did your best to keep at bay surged up again.

Baekhyun was silent and motionless. Baekhyun had done nothing to encourage this. Everything he had ever told you that might have sounded flirtatious was said in jest. He was joking. He was always joking with you, that was just his way. But he sure did joke a lot with you. You often found yourself confused and frustrated by him.

The dust was gone. He could go now. You could let him go. He was ready to face them.

“There,” you said in a soft whisper, beautiful you thought in secret. Your whisper felt an appropriate tone of voice for such a quiet and secluded hideaway such as this and you mustered up the nerve to remove your hand from his chest so you could throw this trash away and attend your damn meeting.

You rocked back on your feet, shifting your balance away from where he sat on this bench, introducing some distance between the two of you. Then you moved your hand away from his chest for a fraction of a second you no longer felt the warmth and the firmness of his body below your palm and you began to pivot on your heels, you began to turn away from him and extract yourself entirely from this fantastical and impossible situation you had been entertaining inside of your own silly imagination. Only when you shifted so did he and rather than the warmth of his chest under the palm of your hand you felt the slow moving heat of his hand covering over the back of your own hand.

The sensation caught you off guard and you froze mid step, looking down to see it happening. You felt the smoothness of his fingertips tracing an achingly dizzying path up your wrist and higher until your entire hand had been covered completely by his.

You took another step away from him. This was strange. This was some sort of trick of your imagination again.

Your eyes sought out his eyes for answers only the look you saw in his expression did not give you any insight at all. He was watching you with a sort of detachment from this, from you; similar to the same look you’d seen from him in the elevator earlier. Similar to the look you’d seen from him many times over the course of the last few months of working closely with him.

You needed more answers than his face could give and when you took another step the grip he had on your hand tensed and he held on tighter and suddenly he was in motion as his thigh muscles tensed up and he stood on own two feet.

Your mind was consumed by confusion and uncertainty when his movements did not stop.

Baekhyun took a step into you, undoing the distance you had carefully and desperately put between your body and his body and out of the corner of your eye you caught movement in his other hand.

The fragments of seconds of time were insufficient to process any of this. If he was playing some sort of a trick, he was taking it too far for sure. Your heart was entirely too weak to take this kind of behavior from him.

Baekhyun’s hand lifted — he sought to touch the side of your face and at the same time, the distance between the two of you shrunk in an instant as he moved in. You watched on in surprise and in shock until every detail of Byun Baekhyun’s face blurred and you felt the warm wetness of his lips that landed over your own surprised ones.

He kissed you.

He had kissed you.

In this space, this quiet space that was once only yours, he had kissed you and you were frozen in this moment without even the ability to comprehend how this man could have done this, or why he had done this, or what, if anything at all was the punchline of this particular joke of his.

He had kissed you and he was still kissing you and your frozen reaction must have been what brought him to his senses.

He opened his eyes and his lips retreated just enough for him to pull back and look into your face. You made a sound. It was the smallest questioning hum from the back of your throat and you shook your head a microscopic amount to try and clear the static happening inside your brain.

“Uhh,” you finally managed and he had dropped his hold on your hand and closed his eyes up tight.

He looked to his left and then he looked to his right. Both spaces were empty. You were standing in front of him but he did not look at you.

His eyes closed up again and you saw him pull his lips in between his teeth and he bit down and exhaled a huff through his nose before pulling his expression into the smallest wince.

“Shit,” he whispered. He looked behind himself. He looked up at the ceiling and he looked down at the floor. He wasn’t actually looking anywhere but you knew for absolute certainty that he was not looking at you.

You swallowed away the dryness inside of your mouth at the sound of that tiny curse word and the unimaginably tiny sting you felt inside of your chest when you heard him say it.

This was okay.

This was fine.

It was just a mistake; a joke taken too far. He was silly by nature and you did not need to read anything into this little blunder of his. You definitely didn't want to make him feel bad about having made this mistake. Maybe this suffocating ache inside of your chest was the punchline. You could feel its tendrils creeping up inside.

Ha! Ha! Stupid old lady.

No. No, This was okay.

This was fine.

The clock on the wall called to you and you watched the minute hand join up with the hour hand as the two became one and it was 12 noon. It was time for both of you to be inside that meeting room instead of out here playing jokes on each other and instantly regretting it.

His gaze followed yours, touching upon that clock and understanding the task at hand and you stood straighter, fixed your skirt and jacket, made sure your button up blouse was still closed up tight, and you made a few steps toward the trash can to throw away the dried leaves from his hair and from what felt like ages ago and you heard his footsteps follow you down the hallway to enter the meeting room.

You did not hold the door open behind you and you did not listen carefully for the comforting sound of his footsteps behind you. When you opened the door to walk inside you did not do so with any regard for anyone else in the world — especially not for someone like Byun Baekhyun, who’s father’s name adorned the outside of this enormous building and even your paychecks. Especially not for Byun Baekhyun who had exactly three weeks left of his detail in the International Subbing Department before he moved on to QC or AD or wherever the hell he wanted to go when he left you.

[To Be Continued]

Links: Can I Stay? Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

[hairmetal666]

Steddie Notes Part 4 (Welcome to Steve's POV)

CW//small instance that could be viewed as internalized homophobia

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

In the bottom of Steve’s closet is a Nike shoe box. It’s full of a year’s worth of torn notebook pages, paper menus, receipts, envelopes, sticky notes, notepad sheets, invoice carbon copies, discarded things from dnd, and whatever else they could find to write on.

It's this box that contains every bit of Steve’s heart. 

✏️✏️✏️✏️

Steve’s at the school to pick up Dustin, Mike and Lucas, but they don’t appear at 9pm on the dot like they promised. Grumbling and annoyed, Steve heads down to the drama club room.

He hears Eddie’s voice even before he walks into the room. The low baritone, all husky and threatening, sends shivers down Steve’s spine. 

Steve strides into the room, ready to berate his kids for their tardiness, but he stops literally in his tracks when he sees Eddie. Eddie looming over the table, all that long curly hair framing his face; his expression uncharacteristically dangerous, his eyes flat and promising violence.

He can’t do anything but stare, mouth shocked wide. Eddie lifts his gaze, locks it on Steve. Eddie’s looking at him with such intense command, such focus, that Steve knows he’d drop to his knees for that look, give Eddie anything he asked, everything.

He wants. So hard and so fast it makes him a little nauseous. 

Eddie’s gaze flicks away, while Steve reels from the striking clarity of feeling that rewrites the year of their friendship frame-by-frame.

Steve hardly listens, still trying to come to terms with his sudden realization, with how right it is, with how obvious it’s been this whole time. He remembers, after Starcourt, the way Eddie made him feel safe, cared for. The way Eddie calling him baby echoed for hours, days, weeks after. 

Of course Eddie doesn’t miss Steve's distraction. He leans into Steve's space, murmuring softly, “You okay, sweetheart? Sorry we ran late. Lost track of time.”

“Just tired, I guess.," he says. And he is distinctly not okay, because Eddie is calling him sweetheart and how did it take him this long to realize how much he loves the pet names? 

He tries to tell Eddie. Can’t. Too afraid of losing his friend.  He keeps going out with girls; nice girls, pretty girls, but wishes that Eddie was the one sitting beside him in the movie theater, in the passenger side of his car, across from him at the restaurant. 

Eddie…I think I really like you

You’re my favorite person in the entire world

Some days you’re the only thing I can think about

I want to wake up in bed with you everyday

I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss you

Do you like me? Yes or No

✏️✏️✏️✏️

Steve’s in the Wheeler’s basement, leaning against Eddie's shoulder, waiting for the kids to finish up.

“What are they talking about?” He scribbles at the edge of Eddie’s campaign notes.

Eddie scowls at the note placement, responds anyway. 

“Halloween costumes.” 

“Wanna dress up together, Munson?”

“No way, Harrington, I’m not dressing up as Danny Zuko for you.”

“…obviously you’re Sandy.”

Eddie makes an offended noise. 

“I could do end of the movie Sandy. But face it, baby, you’re the pretty, fresh-faced innocent and I’m the bad boy.” 

Steve strangles back the sound he wants to make when his brain supplies him with an image of Eddie in those black, skin-tight pants.

“I could be a bad boy.”

Before Eddie can reply, the kids start shouting, and Eddie climbs on the wobbling card table, clapping his hands for attention. 

“Jesus, Eds." He grabs Eddie’s ankle to keep him stable. 

“I think a trip to the pumpkin patch is in order, what say you?”

There’s a blip where the whole room stills, every single one of them, aside from Eddie, remembering rotted fields and fetid tunnels filled with Upside Down spores and demo dogs. 

“Oh, yeah, we don’t go to the pumpkin patch anymore. You know, since the tunnels—”

Steve shoots Dustin the most intense silencing looks he’s ever given anyone, which is really saying something. 

They’d agreed, back in July that they would never tell Eddie what really happened at the mall. Eddie is too good, too gentle, brimming with too much pure kindness for Steve to want him anywhere near the Upside Down.

Eddie cackles. “Tunnels, Henderson?” 

Lucas laughs, says, “He means the maze. Don’t you remember? They set it up one time a few years ago.”

“We got really lost. Took us hours to find the exit,” Dustin adds. 

“Mike cried,” Lucas says. 

“Hey! I did not!” 

Mike’s anger at fake crying about a made-up crisis is enough to have them all in stitches, even Eddie who doesn’t know it’s a lie.  

“What about that apple orchard?” Steve suggests.

Eddie pokes him in the cheek, excited. “Ooh, yes, apple orchard!?”

✏️✏️✏️✏️

The orchard is a mad dash of fighting over wheelbarrows, shrieking sprints into the trees, Steve stressing at the kids throwing themselves across branches with zero regard for personal safety. 

Eddie nearly sends him into a coronary at the ripe old age of 19 by walking down a branch like he’s doing a tightrope. 

“Munson! Get your ass down from there!”

“I’m fine, Stevie! I’ve got reflexes like a cat.”

“The hell you do!” Steve shouts as Eddie wobbles. 

“Don’t worry, baby, I know you’ll always catch me,” Eddie yells back. He winks and Steve blushes about all of it. 

“You’ll just get us both hurt,” he says right as Eddie shimmies easily back to the ground. 

“You worry too much,” he scolds. “All this beautiful hair is going to go grey,” Eddie shuffles his fingers through the strands.

“You’re a menace,” he growls. Pushes Eddie playfully away. 

They pick apples and drink cider and it’s the best time Steve’s had in a while. He kids are spread out around him, Eddie and Robin on the quest for an apple that’s perfectly red, like you could poison Snow White with it, and he’s content. Happy. 

He lets himself bask in the moment, but it’s cut short by a familiar whooping yell and the crash of Eddie Munson clinging to his back.

He groans, almost loses his footing, but quickly hoists Eddie’s legs higher against his sides.

He runs and Eddie screams, giggling, and clutches his fists into the fabric of Steve’s sweater. 

“Can’t believe you caught me, sweetheart,” Eddie says once Steve slows to a walk.

“I’ll always catch you, Eds,” he promises.

Eddie makes a little noise, almost like a whimper, pressing his cheek against Steve’s.

And for just a second, the barest hint of a moment in time, Steve swears he feels Eddie’s lips pressed against the sensitive skin right beneath his ear. 

It’s right then that Steve knows he doesn’t just like Eddie. No, he’s positively, totally, and completely in love with him.

(Part 5)

Thank you all so much for your comments and reblogs and likes! I appreciate it more than I can say and am still so honored that so many people like this little series. Please let me know if I missed you in the tag list, and I'll make sure to get you added for future updates (I think we're looking at 3 more)!

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[itsclydebitches]

I think I sent an ask like this along time ago? IDK though.

The weird thing about Oz is that it feels like there was stuff they could have brought up if they wanted us to view him in a darker light that they just...dont

Like, that whole thing with Oz conquering the world with Salem and tricking people into worshipping them as gods. Yeah he eventually saw what he was doing was wrong, but that was after he and Salem had 4 kids. So for a long-ass time he was an imperialist god-king

Or the part where he nearly attacked Ruby once she asked Jinn the question.

It just...feels like those are totally things that should be discussed more. But instead they focus on a bunch of other things that are really weird to hold against Oz.

Like why focus on this you have way better things to hold against Oz right there.

That's very possible, anon! I don't know how many unanswered asks are sitting in this inbox now, but it's not a small number...

Totally agree. I think Oz gets criticized to an unfair degree by the canon and fandom alike (no one is shocked to hear this lol) but part of my issue is what he's criticized for, not just the extent. The show tends to take incredibly weird perspectives like, "How dare you give our uncle cool bird powers with no downside" and "How dare you save group members from a deadly airship crash." The fandom takes stances with larger political implications like, "How dare an abused man 'steal' his daughters away from the mother who wants to use them for a magical form of genocide" or issues that fundamentally break the core concept of the show: "How dare you let teenagers fight dangerous battles / How dare you reincarnate - something you have no control over - into a 14yo boy." The show does engage with some of Ozpin's morally complex choices with no easy answers like, "Is it okay to keep secrets if history has shown severe downsides to revealing that information?"... but then the answer the story decides on - "No it's not" - immediately doesn't apply to half the cast, with no examination of how that changes our perception of Ozpin's choice. And, as you say, the show simultaneously introduces HUGE mistakes - "You positioned yourself as a god! Then a king!!"- that the characters could absolutely mistrust him for... but they don't. Because they're too busy focusing on all of the above.

The only thing I'd push back against here is anyone being mad at Ozpin for "nearly attacking" Ruby. I'd consider that a highly unfair criticism as well given that:

We don't know if he would have attacked. He just charges with his and out-stretched, so Ozpin could just as likely have been intending to snatch the Relic

All these characters have aura and train/hit for funsies on a regular basis. It feels like a stretch - one working to paint Ozpin in an unfair light - to act like Ruby taking a hit is suddenly some horrific event that's worthy getting up-in-arms about

In this same scene the girls pull their weapons on Qrow and Oscar - someone WITHOUT that training/fully unlocked aura - gets punched into a tree. Again, consistent morality. Why is Ozpin in the wrong for charging with an open hand (ambiguous) but the girls are justified in pulling their weapons (clear intent)? Why should Super Fighter Ruby be defended for taking a hit after forcibly stealing secrets from Ozpin, but we should shrug off the newbie farm kid taking a hit for the "sin" of being an unwitting, passive vessel?

Plus... as said above, "forcibly stealing secrets." I'm not saying Ozpin is 100% justified in attacking Ruby over this, but I think he's a HELL of a lot more justified compared to actions like threatening Qrow or attacking Oscar. Ruby ignored his requests to give the Relic back; she ignored how terrified he clearly was. She wasted a wish (which Ozpin knew would happen). She revealed his entire, traumatic history to the group PLUS a total stranger (Maria) which, again, Ozpin knew would happen. Of course he tried to stop her. We will never know what lengths he would have gone to, whether he would have truly fought Ruby or just made a last minute grab, but even if he had fought her... It think that's understandable. We can argue about whether it's right, but it's not the sort of thing the heroes should be holding against him once tempers have cooled, especially when he has stuff like playing God that they have hold as a long term grudge.

Out of everything Ozpin has done, maybe being willing to fight the prodigy fighter to keep her from making one of the stupidest decisions we've seen in the show to date is pretty low on the sin list.

[starrysamu]

✦ you and nanami have been working side by side for three years now. when nanami brings his son to work with him one day, it changes the entire trajectory of your relationship in only 24 hours.

✦ nanami kento x f!reader

✦ word count: 1.9k

✦ warnings: none.

contents. | 3. | 4. | 5.

previously.

“he really likes exercise equipment, but he’s too small to use them, especially the elliptical that we have at home. i’m afraid he’s going to hurt himself. instead, we go to the park when we can so he can play. he likes spending time with his friends there. he likes it when i cook dinners for him, which is most nights. he hates vegetables, and i’ve heard it’s common for kids his age but it’s been really tough to get them in him. sometimes - ”

he stops abruptly and blinks at you. you blink back. 

“sometimes?” you urge quietly. your hands are folded on your lap and your chest is pressed against the edge of the table. 

he clears his throat. “ah, i lost my train of thought.” 

you smile, knowing full well there’s no way a man like him just “lost his train of thought.” 

you’ll give it time, though, because this time it’s different. this time, you’re willing to wait.

chapter 4

“another friday, another yuto, hm?” 

“another?” yuto yells disbelievingly. “there’s another yuto?” 

nanami shushes him. truly, it was just another day of figuring out how to phrase things to a small child.

“no, no, that’s not what i meant - i’d like to call a lifeline to help explain to yuto that he’s the only yuto for me, and i simply meant that - ”

“another friday, another nanny not available,” nanami mumbles monotonously. his voice - low and deep and rich like velvet - incites a completely inappropriate response from you. 

you frown, masking the tugging in your stomach with unamusement. “you’re the worst lifeline.” 

nanami turns to look at you point-blank, hands folding over his abdomen. 

your frown deepens when he doesn’t say anything. 

“what?” 

he draws in a deep sigh before turning back to yuto. “you know the drill. i’ll get you that mango custard today.” 

nanami probably broke his back trying to find someone to look after yuto. the sharpness of his eyes have softened, already weathered down from the morning. 

“mango custard?” you wiggle your eyebrows, leaning back to get a good look at yuto. “the dessert game keeps getting upped.” 

“i lo-ove mango,” yuto declares with his entire chest. “but i think dad likes it more. we also like strawberry. we like cake. cake is so good, like especially the cake with the little strawberry pieces in the middle of the slice -” 

“yuto, i think she knows what cake is.” 

nanami grunts as he leans over to pull yuto’s jacket around him, zipping it up to the very top. you grin at the sight: a sky blue marshmallow. 

“very flattering,” you gush. you feel like one of those aunties that’ll come up to him in 10 years and ask, ‘do you remember me?’ when there’s no way in hell he would remember you from such a young age. 

“look at all that extra padding. i think you’re ready for your first sports game.” this time, you wiggle your brows at nanami. 

yuto is not paying attention to you. yuto is actually quite upset that he’s got this suffocating jacket on him. he hangs his head back exasperatedly, letting out a long groan. 

“don’t make that face,” nanami murmurs. “it’s cold in the office today.” 

yuto starts to flop his arms and legs around like a fish. the chair wobbles, swiveling to the side pitifully. nanami reaches for the armrest to stop it from spinning and you watch, partly in awe with how the office chair practically consumes yuto whole. once he’s sure yuto’s giving up the resistance, nanami turns back to his computer. 

you try not to stare at nanami. you’ve always been drawn to his sharp features, but you think something else tugs at you now - pity, maybe? just thinking it fills you with dread. you hope it airs along the lines of longing, sympathy, even. 

he’s working with pinched eyebrows and the softest, most exasperated sighs - a large contrast from stoicism and silence. your chest tightens. 

you cross one leg over the other and swallow. “is there anything i can help you with today?” 

you can’t recall the last time you asked him that. you remember asking religiously during the first two quarters of working at the company, back when you were fresh-faced and impossibly ambitious - and back when he was simply polite and efficient enough to always say ‘no thank you.’ 

out of the corner of your eye, you catch yuto slouching defeatedly in his chair. 

would you have acted differently had you known? should you have tried harder to extend yourself? 

does this … does yuto change things? 

it shouldn’t. you don’t think it does, at least. 

you frown to yourself. you’re still contemplating it when he murmurs, “i think we just need to finish making the presentation for tomorrow.” 

your lips almost part. almost. 

“i might need some help with yuto,” he admits, eyes trained on the file on his computer. “he was a little … apprehensive about coming with me today.” 

this might be the longest response you’ve ever gotten to that question, much less to any of your other questions. 

“yeah, sure, anything,” you nod quickly, smiling at yuto. “really? who would’ve guessed he hates coming here? i thought this was the funnest place on the planet.” 

yuto scrunches his nose. “dad said funnest isn’t a word.” 

“he’s right, kiddo.” 

“then why’d you say it?” 

“for fun.” 

you lean over and drag his chair to sit in the middle of you and nanami. 

nanami looks at you before looking at yuto. when he looks at you once again, you tilt your head to the side. what? 

he shakes his head and turns back to his computer. 

it’s almost embarrassing how your back pops when you reach your hands up to the ceiling and wiggle your fingers. you sigh out in relief and slump forward. 

it’s friday. it’s friday. it’s friday, it’s friday, it’s friday. 

“do you have the excel sheet from the sukuna account?” 

you’re sensing a foreign invader. your eyes narrow. you’re like a white blood cell, and gojo satoru is a pathogen - a threat to your peace and serenity in the workplace. 

“ah, hello, dear, sweet gojo. the bane of my existence.” 

“how charming.” gojo grins. “happy to be of service.” 

“shut up,” a new voice says. “stop bothering her. i need to bother her. and him. both of them.” 

you smile tersely. “ah, hello, dear, sweet utahime. currently the other bane of my existence.” 

“i’m happy to take over the role from gojo,” she says curtly, passing a file to you. “i need you to look through this before i submit it for approval.” 

“must i?” you ask, pressing the back of your hand to your forehead and tilting back dramatically.  

while you’re busy brooding over extra work, gojo comes around to pick yuto up. 

yuto giggles when gojo holds him up like simba. he circles around in his spot, yuto still suspended in air. “everyone praise king yuto. king yuto, we thank you for gracing our presence today - ”

nanami doesn’t shift, doesn’t twitch, doesn’t budge a single muscle. he doesn’t watch gojo swing his child around, he doesn’t ask gojo to put him back down. 

full, unadulterated trust. 

doubt creeps in. you remind yourself you haven’t known him for that long, you suppose. what’s it going to take to get there, though?   

you watch quietly, gnawing on your lip. 

“stop bothering everyone,” utahime hisses, tugging on gojo’s collar. “hi, yuto,” she coos, taking him from gojo. “you’ve gotten so big. do you remember aunty utahime? i haven’t seen you in so long. how’s work going today?” 

yuto sighs dramatically. it’s obvious he doesn’t remember her, but he’s itching to complain. “work is so bo-oring. i think dad and i should go to the park every day instead.” 

gojo ruffles his hair. “sorry kid, this is what life’s all about. luckily, you got a rich dad and … ” he looks to you, “an entertaining friend over here, so you’re basically set for life.” 

“entertaining?” you parrot, scrunching your nose. it leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

“derogatory,” gojo clarifies. 

“how sweet.”

utahime sets yuto back down in his seat. “anyways, just look over that when you can,” she says to you and nanami. 

“yeah, and the sukuna account,” gojo tacks on. “you guys are the best. just awesome. amazing people. great coworkers. keep up the great work.” 

you press your palms to your eyes and lean back in your seat. “i think i’m gonna have to go into overtime,” you groan, once gojo and utahime are out of earshot. 

“we can finish,” nanami mutters under his breath. “it’s fine, we’ll finish in time.” 

you’re not sure if he’s trying to convince you or himself. 

you’re fighting for your life. you’re fighting the urge to scream and rip your hair out and do literally anything and everything the main character in a romantic comedy would do when nothing is going their way. 

you glance out the window. the sun has been gone for several hours now. you’re left to fend for yourself in this dusty, dark office - which, you figure you might be able to see better if you just got up to turn the lights.

lights are for the weak. it’s time to rely on your hunter-gatherer instincts. 

(you doubt hunter-gatherers were as lazy as you are, but that’s another discussion). 

you sigh and lean back in your seat. 

“why’re you sitting in the dark?” 

the lights click on and you jump in your seat. 

your heart is racing a million miles when you rub your eyes to adjust. footsteps approach you. what do you do? what would the hunter-gatherers have done?

you open your eyes. nanami towers over you, yuto attached to his hip and a grocery bag in his free hand. 

“we thought you might still be here.” 

you don’t know if you should be nervous. did something happen? 

“what’re you guys doing here?” 

he looks at you a little sheepishly. “yuto’s idea.” 

oh dear. what’re you to do now? what’re you to do now that you've seen this side of him? what’re you - a woman of nature, one with the trees and the wilderness - to do with a man like this? 

he’s shot you straight in the heart with a bow and arrow. 

“we got you a mango custard,” yuto grins. “you have to try it. it’s so much better than the strawberry cake.” 

“also got you some noodles if you’re hungry.” 

as if on cue, your stomach growls. 

you are no longer one with the wilderness. if you really think about it, this is the  modern version of gathering. 

nanami sets the bag down on your desk with the slightest curve of his lips. he grunts as he sits in his seat, yuto clinging to his front like a koala. 

“eat,” he murmurs, reaching for your mouse. 

he leans forward and you feel the warmth in waves, rolling off of his stiff suit. you still in your spot when he casually hands yuto over to you. now you’ve got a whole child hanging off of your right arm and a bowl of noodles in your other hand, with nanami brushing over you everytime he moves to type something on your computer. 

your heart blooms, flowers uprooting from your arteries. you’ve been watered after a long, dry day.  

“eat the custard.” yuto is whispering in your ear, but every time he speaks, he gets louder. “eat the custard. eat the custard, eat the - ”

“yuto.” 

yuto brings his voice back to a whisper. “eat the custard.” 

you giggle, holding up the box. “i gotta have these noodles first, right?” 

“no you don’t,” yuto shrugs. it must be nice to be a three-year old, considering how easily he made that decision for you. he shifts so he’s sitting on your lap, digging through the grocery bag to find the custard. “i think you should have the custard first.” 

“let her eat.” 

you let your eyes rest on nanami for a moment. his brows are slightly furrowed, with the same pinch from this morning. it feels that just as much as he hates overtime for himself, he hates it for you too. 

it makes you feel warm. 

“thank you,” you whisper. 

if he hears you, he doesn’t say anything. he makes sure your computer is shut down by 8:00.

contents. | 3. | 4. | 5.

[wifegideonnav]

should i read homestuck. like i feel it would be interesting so i could see what yall are talking about in regards to tlt but is homestuck actually good

"is homestuck good" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 8129 pages of heated debate,

no but seriously, it highkey depends on 1. your definition of good and 2. your tolerance for stupid bullshit. as someone who read tlt and then hs, i'd say that being a fan of the chaotic aspect of tlt is a good predictor of being able to hang in with homestuck.

readmore because this. um. got long. the tl;dr is: i like homestuck a lot and i am glad i read it. i can't tell you if you should read it bc idk your tastes, but there is a lot to like and enjoy about it.

the official pitch for homestuck is something like "4 kids play a game and then a bunch of other shit happens." here's my pitch based on what the core of the story is to me:

several groups of characters across time, space, and reality are brought together in order to succeed at creating a new universe after their own are destroyed. this takes the form of a game, which is called sburb (by the humans) and sgrub (by the trolls). the characters must contend with an eternal battle against good and evil in which they are the deciding factor, and level up while following personalized quests. at its heart, homestuck is about relationships of every sort and how they shape us, growing up and the associated grief and loss, coming into ones identity and choosing who to be, predestination and fate, and stories themselves. it gets very meta at times, and the characters are semi to fully aware that they're characters, and attempt to subvert or escape that. it's got hordes of fleshed out, compelling characters, one of which will almost certainly glom onto you for the rest of your life, real emotion, extremely funny jokes, smart and exciting plotting, and some very cool moments. it more or less invented an entire new genre/medium, and plays with medium in a very cool way.

it is also clunky, hard to get into, and way too convoluted. you will never fully understand what's happening. there are tons of characters whose stories you will follow whom you simply do not care about. there are too many characters. it was written by an edgelord in 2009 so there's some unsavory humor and character writing. it's so fucking long. the ending kinda sucks because the fandom was so toxic that hussie simply wanted it over with. the fandom still kinda sucks tbh. so many people have wrong opinions about it. it requires a very specific lens to approach and understand it. i still dont understand what happened with that fucking puppet someone explain it to me.

overall, i'd say that if you think you want to read it, give it a shot. i have a complicated relationship with it but at the end of the day, i genuinely love the story and the characters and i know they will be with me forever. it certainly enhanced my understanding of tlt, and getting to read more of tamsyn's writing was such a bonus (even though her taste in pairings is. not the same as my own). and like honestly. it's just fun. even when you're going "wait what the fuck just happened" you're having fun. it's really goddamn funny too. it WILL change the way you speak and also think about romance forever.

the best way to read it is to have an experienced reader guide you, but if you or other people don't know anyone like that, here are my basic tips:

i think most people know this already, but download the unofficial homestuck collection. just do it. it's like 4 gigs and it's infinitely better than trying to read on the broken website, and it's even ad free. it can also be modded - for instance ik there's a slur replacer mod (lmao) if you don't want to read those

act 1 sucks to read. you're like what the fuck is this, THIS is homestuck?? the beginning is radically different from how it ends up, so just hang in there. for me, it really picked up somewhere in act 3. just focus on the silly fun the characters are having and you'll be good

things you should actually try to follow in the early acts: the concept of a sylladex existing (the various fetch modi are only there for jokes and eventually just kinda stop being a thing), where all the copies of the game are, what each kid's relationship with their guardian is like, the mechanics of the game and the lore behind it, including classpects and quests

things you do not have to waste brain space on: anything about how the totems work, what the various machines are, what the levels are, basically any of the jokes that would be funny to hussie's original intended audience of software engineers and rpg gamers. oh and the intermission with the midnight crew and the felt, just know that those are guys that exist and you'll be good.

and the biggest tip i have is just. go with it. suspend your disbelief. a lot of the worldbuilding doesn't really make sense, but it would be a worse story if it did. when the time shit and ectobiology come into play, literally just go ok got it and keep going, don't think too hard.

so yeah i don't even know if any of this is useful but i hope it helps you decide. and if you or anyone else have follow up questions send em!

[sourwolf-sterek32]

Found You- Part 5

Summary: Nearly 10 years ago, you left home after a bad incident with your parents, Rick and Lori Grimes. In that time, you married a redneck down south and started a family. But it all came crashing down when the dead started to walk.

Pairings: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 12.4k

Warnings: language, violence, blood, death

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4

Rick sat on the edge of the bathtub while you knelt in front of him cleaning the cut on his hand with disinfectant.

The horde of walkers had surrounded Alexandria, but for now, the walls were holding. So, you took the time to help him since he refused to go to the infirmary.

The kids had been relieved to see their father and grandfather. Rick quickly checked on Judith who to your own shock had slept through the entire thing in her crib.

"Are you hurt?" Your father questioned, speaking for the first time since you dragged him away from the kids and sat him down in the bathroom.

You looked up at him in confusion to find his eyes glued to your bloodstained shirt.

Oh, right. The blood.

"It isn't mine." You answered, thinking back to the woman you had tried to help. "I'm fine."

He shook his head, "you're not."

"Yeah, well, seeing those attackers butcher and murder people will do that to you." You responded with a shrug. "But I'm fine. I have to be."

"I'm sorry."

"Dad, it's not your fault."

"I took most of Alexandria's fighters away from here." He pointed out.

"And if you didn't, that entire horde from the quarry would be at our doorstep instead of just half. You did the right thing." You reassured, putting the cap back on the bottle of disinfectant before you grabbed the roll of bandages from the kit.

Rick didn't say anything as he stared down at his hand while you gently began to wrap the clean bandage around the deep cut on his palm. How he managed to cut himself like that was a question you didn't want answered.

"There. That should do it." You announced a minute later once the bandage was secure.

Rick clenched and unclenched his hand in a fist testing it out and you were about to tell him not to do that before he started to speak.

"I don't know how long those walls will hold."

Hearing the fear in your father's voice was something you hated. Rick was always so strong, always the brave one, but right now he was terrified and the fact that he was showing this emotion in front of you was rare.

"The walkers are spread right around the community. They’re not all pushing against one spot, right? So, it'll be fine." You insisted with fake confidence.

You had no idea if those walls would hold either, but Rick needed some kind of reassurance right now, so you were going to give it to him.

"We keep people inside the community quiet, so we don't draw the dead to one part of the wall. If we do that, those walls will hold long enough for Daryl and the others outside to come back and lure them away. That's the plan."

Your father nodded, "okay. That could work."

"It will work." You corrected, reaching forward and resting your hand on his knee. "Now you need to go out there and speak to the community. Deanna isn't in the right headspace at the moment, you need to be the leader."

"Let's go then." He said, standing up from the edge of the bath.

You quickly packed away the first aid kit under the kitchen sink before dashing upstairs and grabbing your weapons belt. You took your handgun from the back of your waistband and secured it in the holster attached to the belt before double checking that your hunting knife was in the sheath and once you were satisfied that everything was in place, you went back downstairs.

The boys were waiting by the front door for you. Rick already walking down the street with Carl holding Judith following behind him.

"Is there really walkers surrounding our home?" Dean asked.

You nodded, "there is. But dad and Uncle Merle will draw them away with the car and bike soon."

The boys both nodded, seeming satisfied with that answer and weren't too worried about the giant herd of the dead outside the walls which was a small relief, because you did not have time to handle one of them if they had a meltdown about it.

You and the boys made your way down the street, following Rick and Carl, and to your surprise most of the Alexandrians were already by the front gate, well, the Alexandrians that were still alive anyway.

They all looked panicked, terrified while the growls of walkers came from past the gate.

"You can hear it. Some of you saw it." Rick began to say, addressing the group of people in front of him. "They got back here, half of them. Still enough to surround us 20 deep. Look, I know you're scared. You haven't seen anything like this. You haven't been through anything like this. But we're safe for now."

The confidence and strength in your father’s voice was finally back. The worried and fearful tone from earlier completely gone and replaced with his inner Police Officer voice that he used to get people to listen, and it seemed to be working.

Everyone was staring straight at him, they were all scared, but were looking at him for guidance.

"That panel the truck hit seems intact. We reinforce it just in case. Either way, the wall's gonna hold together. Can you?" Rick asked, looking around at everyone. "The others, they're gonna be back."

"They're gonna be back." Rosita nodded, backing him up.

"Daryl, Merle, Abraham, they have vehicles. They're gonna lead 'em away, just like the others. And Glenn and Nicholas are gonna walk back through the front gate after. They know what they're doing. And we know what we need to do. We keep noise to a minimum. Pull our blinds at night. Even better, keep the lights out. We'll try to make this place as quiet as a graveyard, see if they move on."

"This place is a graveyard." One of the civilians spoke up.

You glanced over at her to find a few others nodding in agreement.

"The quarry broke open and those walkers were heading this way. All of ‘em. The plan that my father put into place stopped that happening. He got half of them away." You suddenly said, speaking loudly for everyone to hear. "We lost some people today, yes. But we fought and took back control of our community from those attackers. We can do it again."

Rick glanced over at you, giving you a grateful nod while your boys stood either side of you and nodded along to your words.

"I was out there recruiting with Daryl." Aaron began to say. "I wanted to try to get into cannery and scavenge, and Daryl wanted to keep looking for people. We did what I wanted... and we wound up in a trap set by those people. I lost my pack. They must've followed our tracks. Those people who attacked us... they found their way back here because of me."

"That is not on you." You stated sternly, not wanting him to blame himself.

Daryl had told you about that incident and the second you saw those W's on their foreheads earlier, you knew who those attackers were.

"Deanna? Deanna?" Someone called out.

You glanced over your shoulder to find the older woman walking away from the group without a word, but none of you tried to stop her.

"I can take first watch on the platform." You said, looking back over at your father who nodded.

"Can we come with you?" Ricky asked, looking up at you.

Guess there was no harm in the boys joining you on the watch platform.

"Yeah, come on."

The others in Alexandria got to work cleaning up the aftermath of the attack. They buried the bodies of the dead, cleaning up the street while you stood on the watch platform with the boys overlooking the horde of walkers surrounding the community.

A few civilians began to write the names of the fallen on one of the walls like a form of a memorial, and you hated that they included Glenn's name among them. Glenn couldn't be dead. He was too smart to die out there. He would be back, you knew he would be.

"How many do you think are out there?" Dean asked, drawing his slingshot and firing a rock at one of the walkers.

You watched proudly as the rock pierced the walker straight through the forehead before it dropped to the ground, dead permanently.

Ever since they got those slingshots the boys had been nothing but trouble, but you were surprised at how good they were both at aiming with them. Daryl had clearly taught them well.

"More than what we can kill." Ricky answered, flicking his slingshot and taking down one of the other walkers. "It's good practice though."

"Your father would be proud." You smiled, watching the two continue to kill the walkers.

It was barely making a dent in the large herd, but like your eldest said, it was good practice for them, and it was silent, so there was no harm in doing it.

"When is dad coming back?" Dean asked, glancing up at you.

You sighed, staring out at the sea of the dead unsure how to answer that question. Truth was, you had no idea if Daryl or Merle or any of the others were even alive. They were leading the other half of the herd away and it was a dangerous job, anything could go wrong.

Daryl might be dead, and there was nothing you could do.

"I don't know, baby." You admitted, but you weren't going to tell either of them that their father could be dead. They didn't need to be worrying or stressing over that, not yet.

"He will be back soon. Dad will save us." Ricky reassured, patting his little brother on the shoulder. "C'mon, let's go collect more rocks for ammo."

Ricky gave you a small smile before he climbed back down the ladder of the watch platform, Dean quickly following after him. You looked back out along the horizon hoping, praying that Daryl's motorcycle would appear down the road.

He had to be alive out there.

He had to be.

-

"You should go home and get some rest."

You flinched at your father's voice not expecting any company at this hour at night. You glanced over your shoulder just as he climbed up the ladder and stood beside you.

Carol had taken Ricky and Dean home, reassuring you that she would cook them dinner before making sure they went to bed at a reasonable hour while you remained on watch duty.

The sun had long ago disappeared over the horizon, the bright full moon now taking its place in the starry sky above you.

"You need rest too." You reminded, looking back at the walkers below.

"I'll get someone else to take over watch duty. Go home, kiddo." Rick said, resting his hand on your shoulder.

You let out a deep shaky sigh, resting your hand over your fathers as you continued to stare at the walkers below. You weren't even sure why, but you could feel tears burning in the back of your eyes and Rick seemed to sense it.

"Come here." He said, gently pulling you into a hug.

Everything that had happened today. The blood, the death, the destruction, Daryl and Merle possibly dead... it all suddenly hit you like a freight train and you couldn't stop the emotions that you had been holding back all day from finally spilling out.

"Shh. It's okay. I got you. I got you, baby girl." Rick whispered, holding you against his chest as you started to cry in his arms. "I got you."

You buried your face against your father’s chest and squeezed your eyes shut in effort to stop the tears from falling, but it was pointless.

Rick kept whispering soothing words as he held you and for the first time all day, you felt safe while in his arms and allowed yourself to let your guard down while you cried.

"It's going to be okay."

You shook your head against his chest and pulled away, "you don't know that."

Rick smiled sadly at you before he reached up and brushed the tears off your face with his thumbs.

"We've come back from harder things. Daryl will come back. They'll all come back." He reassured, dropping his hand down to your shoulder. "The Dixon brothers are too damn stubborn to die out there anyway, you know that."

You chuckled wetly, but nodded in agreement, "ain't that the truth."

Rick smiled, "go home and get some sleep. It's a new day tomorrow."

You nodded, looking at the walkers one last time before you descended down the ladder and made your way back to your house.

To your relief, the house was quiet as you entered.

Carol and Michonne's bedroom doors were shut indicating that they were asleep and after quickly checking upstairs your boys were fast asleep in their beds in their shared room. You peeked your head into Carls room, but he wasn't inside, so you went back downstairs to the other bedroom where Judiths crib was and found your brother passed out on the chair beside his sisters' crib.

You grabbed a spare blanket from the closet and silently stepped into the bedroom, draping the blanket over Carls body before glancing in the crib at Judiths sleeping form.

All the kids were safe and asleep.

You made your way back out into the main room of the house before collapsing down onto the couch that was facing the front door. You pulled your scoped rifle from over your shoulder and laid the gun across your lap while you stared at the front door on high alert.

-

You must have eventually fallen asleep because the next thing you knew, you were blinking your eyes open to find daylight now streaming in through the gap under the front door.

Someone was tinkering away in the kitchen, but the rest of the house was still quite so you figured it was fairly early in the morning.

Throwing the rifle back over your shoulder you stood up with a stretch and made your way into the kitchen to find Carol pulling out two pieces of toast from the toaster.

"Oh, good, you're awake. Just in time." She greeted with a smile. "What do you want on your toast?"

You weren't hungry in the slightest and the thought of eating anything made you feel nauseous, but knew you needed to eat since all you had yesterday was a pancake and coffee in the morning.

"Whatever you're having." You replied.

Carol nodded before spreading honey over the pieces of toast and cutting them in half.

"You slept on the couch?" She asked, although it was clear she already knew the answer.

"Yeah, just wanted to be ready in case..." You trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence but she hummed in acknowledgement, knowing what you were trying to say.

"Eat. You need it."

You took one of the halves of toast and ate it without arguing, Carol doing the same while she started to boil water for coffee.

Coffee was definitely something that you needed.

Suddenly, the front door opened, and Rosita walked inside.

"Here." You said, holding out the plate with your other half of toast sitting on it.

"Thanks." She smiled, taking the food while Carol grabbed an extra mug to make her a coffee too without needing to ask. "So, I was thinking about doing a training session today with anyone who wants to learn how to use a knife or machete."

That was actually a good idea. There were Alexandrians that would want to learn how to fight, especially with the walkers surrounding the community at the moment. They would want to know how to protect themselves.

"That's great. Do you need help?" You asked.

She shook her head, "no. I'll be fine. I was coming by to see if your boys wanted to join in? I saw them yesterday up on the platform with their slingshots, they're good. Do you want them to participate in the training?"

"It definitely wouldn't hurt." You nodded. "Daryl and I have taught them the basics with hunting knives, but they could use a refresher. Thanks."

"Here." Carol said, handing you both mugs of coffee. "It's good for people to be prepared. These civilians need to learn how to fight, even the other kids in town too. I'll spread the word and convince people to join."

Rosita nodded taking a sip of her drink while you drank yours too. The three of you fell into silence for a few minutes enjoying the coffee while you could.

"Has anyone seen my dad?" You eventually asked, putting the empty cup down on the table, but they both shook their heads. "I should go find him, see what he has planned for today. Carol can you-"

"I'll watch the kids. Don't worry."

You smiled, "thank you. I'll see you guys later."

You made your way outside, heading straight to the front of the community to check on the wall that the truck had crashed into. Maggie was up on the watch platform keeping an eye on things and no doubt waiting for a signal from Glenn.

You walked along the front wall, inspecting every post and metal sheet for damage, but it was still holding. Rick and Tobin were reinforcing the part where the truck had hit it.

"Need a hand?" You called out watching your father hold a wooden board steady while Tobin hammered it into place with nails.

"Actually, yeah. We wanna build up a brace here just to be safe." Tobin explained motioning towards the damaged part of the fence. "Are you able to run to my place and grab more nails? They're in the garage. My house is number 32."

"Of course, I'll be back in a sec." You said, already turning around and making your way back down the street.

Your eyes scanned the houses on the side of the road because you had no idea which one Tobin’s place was as you looked at the numbers on the old mailboxes until you found the right one.

It wasn't hard to find the packet of nails that were sitting on the workbench inside his garage, and you hurriedly made your way back towards the front of Alexandria to help them build a brace.

"Spencer! Hey, Spencer, get back here!" Your fathers voice shouted in the distance.

Without looking, you knew whatever was happening was bad just by the angry tone of your dad’s voice. What the hell was Spencer up to?

You jogged in the direction of his voice to find your father standing on one of the lookout points along the wall, staring at something outside the community.

Wait, was Spencer outside the walls?

"Spencer!" Tara yelled, matching your fathers’ anger.

Tara and Eugene were standing up on one of the other lookout points which was closer than where your father was further down the wall, so you hastily climbed the ladder up to them to see what was going on.

Spencer had apparently thought it was a good idea to use a grappling hook because he was currently crawling upside down on a rope tied between the wall of Alexandria and a nearby building with the mass number of walkers directly below trying to reach up at him.

Oh, that was a terrible idea.

"Shit. This isn't going to end well." You muttered under your breath, already climbing over the top of the wall to get a better view.

You used the beam on the outside of the wall for stability before you pulled the rifle from your back just as the hook at the end of his rope gave way. Spencer held onto the rope for dear life as it swung him back, his body slamming into the wall of Alexandria before he toppled to the ground amongst the dead.

Your father was shouting at Spencer to climb while you raised your rifle and frantically started to shoot the walkers closest to him.

"Eugene, have Maggie and Rosita fire their guns out from their posts." Tara hurriedly said.

"Why?"

"Just do it!" She ordered, already climbing over the fence beside you with her handgun drawn to help take out the walkers.

Spencer quickly grabbed the rope again and started to climb up it while your father grabbed the other end of the rope, using all his strength to haul Spencer up to safety.

You worked the bolt on the rifle before lining up the next walker by Spencers legs and squeezed the trigger, but nothing happened. The weapon made a faint clicking sound, but that was it.

The magazine was empty.

"I'm out of ammo!" You shouted, throwing the rifle over your shoulder just as Tara’s pistol made the exact same clicking sound.

"Shit. Same." She hissed.

It didn't matter though because Rick had managed to pull Spencer back up over the wall with Tobin’s help. Spencer was safe. Tara sighed with relief before she climbed back over the top of the wall.

"Tara! You almost died once for these people!" Rick yelled at her from the other platform. "What the hell were you doing?!"

Tara looked over at your father with her mouth agape in shock before she flipped him off and you rolled your eyes before shuffling back up the beam to follow Tara over the wall.

"And Y/N, what the hell-"

Whatever Rick was going to say died in his throat when your foot suddenly slipped out from underneath you and you only just managed to grab hold of the top of the wall with one hand, the rest of your body dangling rather dangerously above the walkers.

Fuck. Fuck. Fucking, fuck.

"Y/N!" You heard your father shout, but you were more worried about trying to find a nail or bolt against the metal wall to jam your boot into for support because your hand was starting to slip.

"Give me your other hand!" Tara shouted, leaning over the top of the fence and holding her arm down towards you.

The top of the metal wall was cutting into the palm of your hand, but you gritted your teeth and dealt with the pain as you threw your other arm up towards her which she quickly grabbed.

However, if you let go from the top wall Tara wouldn't be able to hold you up on her own, let alone pull you to safety.

Shit.

Michonne's head suddenly popped up beside Tara's and she quickly grabbed your arm with Tara and tried to pull you up, but you knew it was pointless.

You glanced down at the walkers below. Their rotten hands were stretching up towards you, desperate to reach your feet as you tried to pull yourself up with the one hand still on the top of the wall, but you couldn't.

The metal slicing through your palm was really starting to hurt and one look up at the top of the fence, you could see blood dripping down your arm from it.

"Y/N, hold on!" Ricks voice shouted in the background and a few seconds later your father appeared beside the two women and frantically reached down and grabbed your wrist of the other arm. "Let go of the wall. I got you, I promise. Let go of the wall."

Every bone and muscle in your body was screaming at you not to release the wall, but you trusted your father. He wouldn't let you fall.

Reluctantly, you released your grip against the wall, the pain in your palm subsiding instantly and to your relief, Rick and the two women hauled your body up and over the wall in a matter of seconds.

You collapsed to your knees on the wooden platform back in the safety of the community and sucked in a few deep shaky breaths as the shock of nearly dying hit you.

That was close. That was too fucking close.

"Hey, hey, look at me." Rick instructed, kneeling in front of you. "Did you get bit? Y/N?"

You shook your head and held your bleeding hand up, "not bit. Just got a matching cut like yours."

"Jesus Christ." He sighed with relief before pulling out a rag from his pocket and wrapping it around your palm. "Don't you ever do something so reckless like that again, understand?"

"Spencer would've been breakfast for the walkers if I didn't."

"And you were nearly their breakfast because of it." He hissed.

"Rick, she's okay." Michonne reminded, looking down at the two of you. "They're all okay."

Rick nodded, taking in a deep breath to calm himself before he stood up and looked over at Spencer on the other platform.

"Spencer, what the hell was that?!"

"I was trying to help. I wanted to get to a car, draw them away." The guy tried to explain, but your father wasn't having any of it.

"You ever make a climb like that before?" Rick questioned, the anger in his voice from earlier now amplified after you nearly died. "You want to help? Don't make us come running to save you. You got an idea, you come to me!"

"Would you have listened to me?" Spencer asked, raising his eyebrow already knowing the answer.

Rick glared at the other man but didn't offer up any form of reply before he looked back down at you and held his hand out which you took with your right one, still clutching the rag to your bleeding palm in your left.

"C'mon, I'll take you to Denise to get that checked out." Tara said, nodding over her shoulder for you to follow.

You nodded going to follow her before you paused and pulled out the packet of nails from your pocket and held it out to your father who took it with a small grateful nod.

Denise wasn't impressed with your injury to say the least, but you just joked and said it was good stitching practice for her which she also wasn't impressed with. She cleaned the wound though and stitched it together which hurt like a bitch, but you bit your tongue and dealt with it.

Tara sat beside you watching Denise work and before you knew it, your palm was secured in a white bandage, and you were walking out the infirmary.

There was definitely something going on between Tara and Denise, but you kept your mouth shut about it. Frankly, it was none of your business and you figured the women would tell you about it eventually.

"Mama!" Dean shouted, jogging down the street towards you, Ricky right behind him. "Rosita taught us how to fight with knives."

The over excitement and eagerness in your son's tone was pleasing but also concerning. He was still just a kid, and you hated the fact that they needed to learn that kind of stuff.

"Did she? Did you learn how to use them safely?"

They both nodded and pointed to their new knife sheaths attached to their belts with a knife secured inside. Rosita had given them both knives. You made a mental note to thank that woman later because you had been meaning to hunt down extra knives to give to them.

They might still be kids, but they were old enough to know not to be stupid with weapons. You trusted them both to never use them unless absolutely necessary, so you weren't worried about them carrying. It was for their safety.

"She was a good teacher. Taught us the best ways to cut through bone and everything." Ricky grinned, clearly enjoying the lesson as much as his brother did. "But she taught us safety too. We will be careful, won't we?"

Ricky glanced over at Dean who quickly nodded in agreement, and you smiled at your boys before they noticed the bandage around your hand and frowned in sync.

"It's just a little cut. I’m fine." You reassured, knowing one of them was about to ask about it. "C'mon, let's go see if Grandpa needs a hand reinforcing the front wall."

The three of you wandered back down the main street towards the front wall where you could see Rick and Tobin back at work trying to build up a brace before Dean suddenly stopped in his tracks and pointed to something in the sky.

You looked up to where he was pointing and frowned in confusion when you saw the cluster of bright green balloons floating up high in the sky.

Suddenly, it hit you.

That had to have been Glenn.

Only he would have thought to send up a signal like that. Glenn was out there. He was alive.

"Maggie!" You shouted, jogging down the street towards her where she was still standing up on the watch platform.

She glanced over her shoulder towards you, and you pointed up at the balloons for her to see. She quickly followed your line of sight and froze when she saw the balloons.

Rick and Tobin had stopped working on the wall and had walked over to where you and the boys were standing in the middle of the road, staring up at the balloons in shock just as Maggie raced down the watch platform and sprinted over to you.

"That's Glenn!" She exclaimed happily.

You opened your mouth to respond when sudden loud creaking echoed across the community.

You snapped your head away from the balloons and looked towards the unusual noise and your face paled when you saw the tower outside of Alexandria start to fall.

It all happened in slow motion and there was not a single thing you could do about it as you watched the tower collapse down against the front wall, breaking through it completely.

A cloud of dust erupted as the wooden building shattered on impact and as the dust began to settle, the sea of the dead entered Alexandria.

Oh, dear God.

"Everybody, get back! Get into your houses, go!" Rick shouted over his shoulder at anyone within earshot.

You pulled the rifle off your shoulder, relieved that you had stopped by the armoury on your way to the infirmary to get more bullets before you began to shoot at the walkers as they entered the community. However, after the fifth shot, it was clear that it was pointless.

You took one walker down and five more took its place.

There were too many.

Ricky and Dean had followed your lead and were shooting their slingshots at the walkers too, but by the panicked look on their faces, they knew it was a losing battle as well.

The next few minutes went by in a blur.

One minute you were shooting at the walkers and the next you were running for your lives trying to get to shelter away from the herd. The boys were by your side without having to be told and kept up with your pace as you dashed down the street in the direction of your house when suddenly you heard Maggie's voice screaming.

You stopped in your tracks and turned around, the walkers were following you down the street but what caught your attention was Maggie trying to climb up the ladder of the watch platform while walkers grabbed at her shoes, pulling her down.

"Mum, we need to go!" Ricky shouted, drawing his handgun and taking out the walkers that were getting closer.

"I know." You responded, raising your rifle and lining up the walkers below Maggie through the scope.

You managed to take out enough of them for Maggie to get her leg free and she climbed up onto the top of the platform just in time before the ladder broke away, trapping her up there.

She frantically looked over at you, hearing your gunshots that had saved her, but you had no idea how to help her now though because she was stuck up on the platform with the herd of walkers between you.

"Just go! I'm fine up here. Go!" Maggie yelled, waving at you to run.

That was all the encouragement you needed before you turned back and continued running down the street. You slowed your pace slightly, so Ricky and Dean were running in front of you, putting yourself between the walkers behind you and your boys.

"Y/N!" Your fathers voice suddenly shouted.

You spun around to find Rick, Carl, Michonne, Father Gabriel, Deanna and Ron further down the road, but they were becoming surrounded by the walkers.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Boys, shoot!" You yelled, raising your rifle again before you frantically started to shoot at the walkers surrounding your family and friends, clearing a path for them to run out.

"This way! I have Judith!" Jessie shouted, opening the front door of her house and motioning for you all to come.

"Inside, go!" You ordered, pushing your boys in Jessie's direction before you went back to shooting at the walkers near Rick, slowing them down as the others sprinted past you into the house before you hurriedly followed and slammed the door closed behind you.

Deanna was bit.

Judith was screaming in Carls arms.

Sam was playing music from upstairs.

Walkers were banging against the door.

So much was happening, you couldn't focus properly as your mind raced a million miles a minute.

"Boys, help me pull the curtains over the windows." You ordered, pointing at the various windows around the house.

Damnit, why did this stupid house have so many windows?

Ricky and Dean snapped into action and frantically pulled all the curtains shut while you raced around the house and secured all the doors. You locked them all, and pulled pieces of furniture in front of them for extra support because it wouldn’t be hard for a group of walkers to break a wooden door open.

Once you were satisfied that the house was as secured as you could get it, you returned to the main room. Carl had managed to get Judith to stop crying as he rocked her in his arms and Jessie's youngest son, Sam, had turned off his music from upstairs.

"Where's Grandpa?" You asked, looking over at Ricky and Dean who were now sitting on the other couch.

"Kitchen with Jessie." Ricky answered.

You nodded, walking down the hall and into the kitchen but froze when you saw the two of them kissing by the table. They both quickly pulled apart when they heard you enter, Jessie smirking a little while your fathers cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

"Y/N, we were-" He started to say before you cut him off.

"None of my business. I was never here." You hurriedly said, turning around and stepping back into the corridor.

Well, you were not expecting that.

You leant against the wall of the corridor waiting for Rick to come back out so you could focus on the actual matter at hand.

Ron walked out the main room and stormed straight past you before disappearing down the corridor with Carl quickly following.

"Judith?" You asked, watching your brother walk away.

"Ricky has her. I mean, Rick." Carl answered, quickly correcting himself with your son’s name.

And wow, after everything that had happened over the last 48 hours, you had completely forgotten that your own son wanted to be referred to as Rick from now on. Had you called him Ricky by accident since? You hoped not.

Suddenly, your father rushed out the kitchen but stopped when he saw you leaning against the wall, clearly waiting for him.

"So, Jessie, huh?" You asked, raising your eyebrows. "You know she isn't that much older than me, right?"

"This conversation can be discussed at a later date, don't you think? Or maybe, never. Yeah, never works." Rick responded causing you to snort softly. "Status of the house?" He asked seriously, a moment later.

"House is secure. Doors are locked and barricaded shut. Windows are covered." You informed and he nodded before glancing over your shoulder towards the main room where Deanna was laying on the couch with Michonne kneeling beside her. "How is she?"

"Fever's settling in. She doesn't have long."

You nodded, "so, what's the plan?"

Rick opened his mouth to respond before loud crashing and banging erupted from a room down the corridor. What the hell?

"Carl and Ron." You whispered in sudden panic.

Ricks eyes widened before he sprinted down the corridor and stopped at the door to the garage where the loud commotion was coming from.

"Carl! Let me in! Carl, open the door!" Rick shouted, banging on the door.

It was no use though because that noise inside sounded like fighting and the door to the garage was locked, but it wasn’t by you. Carl or Ron had locked it from the inside.

"Ron!" Jessie shouted, rushing over to you.

"Back up." Rick ordered, pulling the hatchet from his belt before he slammed the sharp blade down at the lock, snapping it off and the door swung open.

You rushed past Rick into the garage to find Ron on the floor while Carl was using a shelf to hold the walkers back that were trying to push through the glass door that led outside.

"Carl, come on!" You shouted, pointing at the open door.

Your brother glanced over his shoulder at you before looking at Rick in the doorway who was shouting at him to run. Both boys frantically sprinted out the garage and you hurriedly followed as the walkers knocked the shelf down and staggered into the building.

Rick slammed the door shut behind you, but with the lock broken he couldn’t secure it.

You pressed your back against the door and put your foot up on the wall opposite you, using your body weight and strength to keep it shut just as the walkers started to bash against it. Carl and Ron quickly followed your lead, pushing the door shut with their hands.

"The couch. Get the couch to barricade it!" You shouted over your shoulder at Rick who hesitated, not wanting to leave you and the boys alone with the door. "We got this. Go!"

Rick nodded before him and Jessie rushed down the corridor while you, Carl and Ron held the door closed. The growls and snarls of the walkers were loud against the door, and you didn’t even want to think about how many of them were inside the garage right now.

Rick and Jessie returned with Gabriel and Michonne carrying the couch before bracing it up against the door vertically. You quickly shifted off the door and pushed your back against the couch instead, your boot digging into the wall across the hallway to help.

"We need more, and we need to be quiet." Rick ordered, pushing against the couch beside you.

"I'll see what I can find." Michonne said, already disappearing down the hallway.

Gabriel nodded, "me, too."

"I'll help." Carl joined, turning to go with them before Rick spoke up.

"Hey, hey, what happened in there?"

"We were looking for tools and knocked over a shelf."

That was a clear lie and Rick knew it too.

"We heard yelling." Jessie informed, catching onto the obvious lie as well.

"Yeah, Ron saw them break through the gates. We had to move. That's what happened." Carl insisted, sticking with his story.

You glanced over at Carl before looking at Ron, not liking that Carl was trying to cover up the fact that the two of them had been fighting. Why were they even fighting in the first place?

"Carl, there's nightstands in my mum's room. We can brace the couch with them." Ron suddenly said.

"It sounded like you guys were fighting." You pipped up, not liking how Ron tried to quickly change the topic.

"Yeah, but we were fighting them." Carl reassured.

Another lie.

Ron looked between you all but didn't say anything else before he went upstairs to get the nightstands.

"Carl? It's okay?" Rick asked hesitantly.

"It's okay." Carl nodded before he jogged after Ron to help him.

You glanced over at your father who met your gazed with a troubled look, but he kept quiet while the two of you held the couch against the door. The walkers continued to push against it, but the boys returned with the nightstands and with the bookshelf that Michonne and Gabriel dragged across, it was enough to hold the door shut.

The group of you barely had a chance to catch your breath before the barricades you had put up on the front door started to give way. You all tried to save it, but the walkers were now breaking through the windows too, there wasn’t enough of you to hold them back.

"Everybody get upstairs now!" Michonne shouted.

Oh, this wasn't good. This was really not good.

"Get the other couch to block the stairs!" You yelled, dashing over to Judiths crib and picking her up before you ushered your sons up the stairs, hoping that one of the others had grabbed the couch.

"Jessie, where are we going?" You asked, following the woman upstairs.

"My bedroom, it's the biggest." She answered, opening the door to her left and you all hurriedly followed, but Rick and Michonne weren't with you.

"Here." You said, handing your baby sister to the other woman. "I'll be back, you guys stay here."

You were out the bedroom before anyone could say anything and you rushed over to the stairs to find Rick and Michonne pulling a dead walker over the top of the couch that was now blocking the stairs.

"What are you guys doing?" You whispered, not wanting to make any more noise than necessary.

"We’re gonna use it's insides to mask our smell. Then we can get out of here and go to the armoury. We get the flares and use them to draw the herd away from Alexandria." Rick answered, dragging the body up the stairs. "I need you to stay here. You see anyone squeezing through, kill them and you get me."

You nodded, drawing your hunting knife from the sheath on your belt as you stood at the top of the stairs and stared down at the walkers trying and failing to get past the couch.

It wasn't long before everyone was wearing makeshift blanket ponchos covered in walker blood and guts. Jessies sons were both freaking out, Sam more so than Ron and while the other woman was busy reassuring her sons that this was the only option, you were silently proud of your kids who were getting their hands dirty and helping their grandfather cover the blankets in guts.

"You boys good?" Rick asked, glancing between his grandsons once they had their ponchos on.

They were scared. You knew they were, hell, so were you, but they were both putting on a brave face as they nodded.

"This plan will work." You reassured, kneeling down in front of your sons. "Now when we're out there, I want Dean to hold onto my hand and Rick you hold onto your brother's hand and don't let go, okay?”

"What if we get separated?" Ricky asked a little nervously.

"We won't. But if we do, you blend in with the herd of walkers and go towards the front watch platform. Maggie is up on the platform, she will keep you safe until I come find you."

Ricky and Dean both nodded before you looked around at the others who all seemed to be ready to go. Carl had Judith tucked under his poncho securely and you hoped like hell, that she didn’t decide to start crying while you were out there.

"Y/N?" Rick asked, looking over at you with a questioning look.

"We're good, let's go." You nodded.

It was easy enough to slip in amongst the dead. With the grime covered ponchos, you were invisible to the walkers. It was the perfect cover.

Rick led the way out the house and once you were outside amongst the herd, you all linked hands. You ushered your children in front of you and Ricky grabbed hold of his grandfather’s hand with his free one, the other holding Deans.

You squeezed Deans other hand gently for reassurance and glanced over your shoulder to Carl who was close behind you. He was unable to hold your other hand because of Judith under his poncho, but he was holding onto Jessie's hand with his free one and the others were all linked together like planned.

It was slow going through the herd. You had to blend in and weave your way amongst the dead carefully.

The sun was beginning to set along the horizon when Rick managed to lead you all off into a small pocket of the community where the walkers weren't, allowing you all to stop and breathe.

"Alright, new plan." Rick whispered, glancing amongst you all. "Flares from a few guns aren't enough. Too many walkers, too spread out. We're not going to the armoury. We need our vehicles back at the quarry. All of us drive. We'll need to round 'em up. We leave, we come back."

You nodded at the new plan, not bothering with a verbal confirmation as your eyes darted around your surroundings at the nearby walkers who were oblivious to your conversation.

"Okay. But Judith to the quarry and back..." Jessie trailed off, but you all knew what she was thinking.

There was no way that baby would stay that quiet for that long. It was too much of a risk and by the look on your father’s face, he was well aware of that.

"I'll take her." Father Gabriel whispered, speaking up for the first time. "Keep her safe in my church until you all lead the walkers away."

"Can you do this?" You asked sceptically.

"I'm supposed to. I have to." He nodded, looking over at you before focusing back on Rick. "I will."

Rick hesitated for a moment before he nodded in agreement and pulled Carl in closer so he could hand the baby girl over to the priest. You and your sons quickly stepped forward using your bodies as human shields to block Judith from any walkers that happen to look your way while Carl tucked the girl under Gabriel's poncho quietly.

"I'm going to keep her safe." Father Gabriel reassured, looking back at Rick.

Your father nodded, "thank you."

You watched on nervously as Gabriel wandered back amongst the sea of the dead in the direction of his church with your baby sister before the rest of you all linked hands once again and continued through the herd.

Once the sun has disappeared over the horizon, it didn’t take long for it to get dark. The moon was still relatively full providing just enough light for you to see your surroundings.

Out of nowhere, Sam suddenly stopped walking. The kid just stood frozen in the middle of the street with wide tearful eyes frantically moving from one walker to the next.

The boy was about to freak out.

Shit.

This was not good.

Carefully, you shifted around so that you were standing between Sam and your sons, not wanting them near him in case he had a meltdown. Because a meltdown right now would be suicide.

"Sam. Sweetheart? Come on. You can do it." Jessie encouraged, her voice barely above a whisper as she tried to pull her son along, but he wouldn't move.

She continued to whisper to him, Ron now helping as well, but then Sam started to cry and within a blink of an eye, a walker bit down on the little boy’s shoulder, another one biting his forehead.

"Mum!" Sam shrieked out in pain, but it was too late.

You stepped in front of your own sons blocking their view from the horror before you, but you couldn’t tear your own eyes away as the walkers teared the little boy apart.

Jessie was crying now, her hand still holding onto her dead son. But her cries were going to draw in more unwanted attention.

"Jessie. Jessie. Come with us." Rick whispered, trying to get her to move. "We have to go."

She wasn't moving though. Her feet were glued to where she stood, her eyes zeroed in on her little boys mangled body and she sobbed quietly.

You opened your mouth to try and say something, but very quickly shut it again when three walkers attacked Jessie right in front of you. The woman let out a pained scream as the walkers practically tackled her to the ground, her pained screams dying out within seconds.

She was dead.

You quickly looked over at your father. His wide eyes were shimmering with unshed tears as he stared down at the walkers on top of Jessie. Whatever the two of them had going on between them was clearly something if Ricks reaction was any indication.

Shit.

Holding your sons behind your back with one hand, you reached over and grabbed your father’s shoulder with the other, forcing him to turn to face you so he wasn't looking at Jessie. Rick's blue panicked eyes locked with yours and you held his gaze.

"We need to go." You whispered, giving him a small encouraging nod and he nodded back ever so slightly.

"Dad." Carl’s voice suddenly grunted in an urgent tone.

You both snapped your heads over to Carl to find him trying to yank his arm free from something. You took a step forward to get a better look and your eyes widened in shock when you realised that Jessie's hand was still grasping Carls tightly and he couldn’t get free.

Oh, no.

Rick reacted quickly and pulled out his hatchet, not thinking twice before he raised the weapon and slammed it down against Jessie's wrist, again, and again until he finally broke through the bone and cut it clean off.

Carl fell backwards once his arm was free, landing on the grass and you carefully stepped over to him. You helped your brother to his feet with your free hand while eyeing the walkers around you cautiously, but most were too distracted by the fresh dead bodies to notice you.

Ricky and Dean were still behind you, Dean's hand grasping yours for dear life and you knew Ricky was holding his brother’s other hand like instructed.

You wanted nothing more than to comfort your children right now because you knew they would be absolutely terrified after what they had just witnessed, but you knew now was not the time.

You glanced back over at your father to make sure that he was okay, but he was just staring at something behind you with a frown like he couldn't quite believe what he was staring at.

Sudden dread filled your stomach as you turned around to find Ron standing a few metres away with a handgun drawn and aimed directly at Carl.

"You." Ron snarled, glaring at Carl. "You."

"Ron, wait-" You began to say, taking a step forward partly in front of Carl and raising your arm towards the teenager about to try talk him down.

Suddenly Michonne speared her sword through Ron's back just as he squeezed the trigger.

Bright hot pain suddenly burst through your left shoulder, and you bit down on your tongue to stop yourself from screaming. You looked down, but you couldn't see anything from the poncho covering your body, but you could feel it.

Ron had shot you in the shoulder.

That little fucker.

"Dad." Carl's voice hesitated from behind you.

You turned around and you felt like you were going to be sick when you saw the bullet wound across your brother’s eye. Deep crimson blood was already dripping down his face and you watched in pure horror as he fell to the ground.

The bullet had gone straight through you and had hit Carl.

Rick rushed over and scooped Carl up in his arms frantically while Michonne began to slice through the walkers that were trying to get to them. Your brain was short circuiting as to what to do as you stared at your brother in your father's arms.

Was he dead? Was your little brother dead?

"Mum, we need to go!" Ricky's voice suddenly said, bringing you out the haze.

Your sons now had their knives out and were helping Michonne fend off the walkers from getting to Rick and Carl.

Seeing your boys killing their first walkers was enough to snap you into action. You drew your own hunting knife with your good arm, not wanting to use your gun and attract more attention than what was already on you.

Everything happened in a blur.

One minute you were fighting off walkers and the next you were rushing through the front door of the infirmary being met with Denise, Aaron and Heath who helped you inside.

You made sure the front door was locked before you grabbed the desk closest and started to drag it across the floor to block it. Ricky and Dean were quick to help, and they pushed the other end of the desk until it was secure in front of the door.

"Thank you. I am so proud of you both." You sighed with relief, glancing between your two sons making sure they were both unharmed before you rushed across the room to where Carl was laying on a hospital gurney.

"Save him." Rick's voice wavered as he stared down at his son’s unconscious body.

"You need to move out the way." Denise said to Rick while she fired off orders to the others in the room to collect equipment and supplies. "Rick."

His entire body was trembling, but he seemed unable to move as he stared down at his son in terror.

You rushed forward and grabbed your fathers arm pulling him away and to your relief, he didn’t try and fight you, but he kept his eyes glued to Carl.

"Dad. Dad, look at me." You ordered, lifting your good arm and grabbing his chin, turning his head to face you until his tear-filled eyes met yours. "Carl is going to be fine. He's strong. We will save him, but you need to give us space to work."

"O-Okay." He whispered, taking a small staggering step back.

You threw your poncho off your body, hissing at the burning pain radiating through your shoulder at the sudden movement. You spared a quick glance down at your shoulder to find your shirt stained bright red from the shoulder and all the way down your side.

Yeah, that wasn't good.

Carl was the priority right now though. Your shoulder could wait. You had to help save your brother.

"Denise, what can I do?" You asked, walking over to Carl on the gurney.

"Here. Hold this." She instructed, motioning towards the towel she had pressed against Carl’s eye. "We need to keep pressure on the wound. I'll go in and sew up any lacerations. I'm going to clean and close this, so I need you to keep following me with the towel."

"Got it." You nodded, pressing your hand down on the towel while she got her tools ready.

You watched intently as Denise got to work. Michonne held a lamp down, angling it just right and you watched as the flow of blood slowly reduced after each suture Denise did.

It was working.

"Grandpa, what are you doing?"

"Grandpa?"

You glanced over your shoulder to find Rick pulling the desk away from the front door while your boys stood back and watched on in a mixture of confusion and worry.

"Dad, what are you- No!" You shouted when he reached for the door handle and yanked the door open. "Dad, don't!"

The front door slammed closed behind him a second later and you stood there with your mouth hanging open in shock.

What the fuck was he doing?

"Rick's out there. I need to help." Michonne frantically said.

"Hold on. Just one more suture." Denise muttered, concentrating on her work.

"But he's out there. He needs our help."

"This is his son. Give me a second." Denise instructed.

You glanced back over your shoulder at the front door anxiously before focusing back down to Carl.

"He's taking them all on." Aaron informed from where he was looking through the window.

"Damnit." You swore under your breath before you grabbed the lantern from Michonne. "Go help my dad. Go!"

Michonne nodded, not needing to be told twice before she sprinted out the infirmary with her katana in her hand, Aaron, Heath and Spencer right behind her.

You held the lantern with your injured arm while holding the towel with the other as you watched Denise work carefully. Her fingers were trembling a little, but she kept her head down and focused on the task at hand.

"Okay. That's it. I need bandages and that IV drip Aaron set up." She ordered.

You were about to let go of the lantern to collect the supplies before Ricky and Dean suddenly rushed across the room with said supplies already in their hands.

"Bandages." Dean said, holding them to Denise.

She smiled at the boys and took the bandages from Dean before she glanced up at you.

"Do you know how to start an IV?"

That was probably the one thing you were actually good at. The number of times you helped the doctors in the nursing home set up IV drips was too many to count.

"Yeah."

You rolled up Carl’s sleeve before grabbing the IV bag from Ricky and within a minute, you had the IV needle in and held the bag up high to allow gravity to do its job. Denise finished with the bandage that was now wrapped around Carl's head before she took the bag from you.

"I got it from here. Go help your dad." She instructed before her eyes widened only just noticing the blood on your shoulder. "Wait, are you shot too?"

"What?!" Ricky questioned in panic, his eyes following Denises and widened into saucers when he saw it.

"It's just a graze. I'm fine." You lied.

"Y/N-" Denise started to say, but you cut her off.

"You can patch me up after. Right now, I have to help the others. Boys you stay here with Denise-"

"No. We can help." Dean argued.

Ricky nodded, "we can kill walkers. We know how."

You wanted to point out that they had only just killed their first walkers in the last 20 minutes, but you kept your mouth shut as you looked between you sons, unsure of what to do.

"Please, mama." Dean begged, his big hazel eyes looking up at you.

"We will stick by your side and help fight. We can do it." Ricky insisted.

Reluctantly, you nodded, and your boys went to reach for their knives before you stopped them.

"No. Use slingshots. You still got rocks in your pockets for ammo?" You asked and they both nodded. "Good. Use the slingshots. You kill the walkers from a distance and only stab them with your knives if they get too close. Understand?"

"Yes." They both agreed, pulling out their slingshots from their back pockets.

With that, the three of you ran out the front door, but you paused for a split second when you saw what was happening.

The whole community was fighting together.

Everyone.

Alexandrian civilians that you had never seen pick up a knife before were out there with Rick and the others taking down the walkers as a team, and it was working.

You and the boys were quick to join in, taking down the walkers with your knife while the kids used their slingshots, shooting rocks through the walker’s heads like knives through butter.

"Is that a truck?!" Dean shouted above the growls of walkers.

You spared a quick glance in the direction he had pointed to find what looked to be a fuel truck parked near the water pond in the middle of the community.

Where the hell did that truck come from?

Suddenly a figure stepped up onto the roof of the truck and there was no mistaking that angel winged vest from anywhere.

It was Daryl.

He was holding a large weapon that looked awfully like a bazooka and aimed at the water before he squeezed the trigger.

Oh, it was definitely a bazooka.

The entire pond blew up in flames a second later and it wasn't hard to put two and two together to figure out that the fuel from the truck had been dumped into the water making the whole thing highly flammable.

The walkers around you were instantly drawn towards it like moths to a flame.

"That's fucking genius." Ricky muttered in awe.

You wanted to tell him off for the language, but instead you let that F bomb slide because he was right, that was fucking genius.

You continued to take down the walkers nearby, but within a few minutes, the whole herd were staggering to the fire, killing themselves.

You let out a sigh of relief as the adrenaline soaring through your veins began to subside now that the threat was gone. Without the adrenaline though, you could really start to feel the pain in your shoulder from the gunshot.

It hurt. It hurt a lot.

Your head started to feel a little fuzzy as you blinked a few times trying to snap yourself out of it.

"Uncle Merle!" Dean suddenly called out, and you spun around to find the eldest Dixon running down the street while slicing the heads off any remaining walkers with his arm knife.

"Look at you boys! I knew those slingshots were a good idea." Merle grinned jogging over to the three of you as he stared at his nephews proudly before he glanced over at you. "What the fuck happened here?"

"It's a long story." You sighed, sheathing your knife with trembling fingers.

"Wait, are you shot?" Merle questioned, looking down at your bloodied shoulder.

"It's fine. Just a graze." You reassured, but as you went to take a step forward, the world around you suddenly tilted and if it wasn't for Merle quickly grabbing your arm, you would have been on the ground.

"Just a graze, my ass." Merle grunted in pretend annoyance, but you could hear the concern in his voice.

Ricky and Dean suddenly grabbed your sides to help steady you while Merle kept his grip firm on your arm which was probably for the best, because you were really starting to feel lightheaded now.

Maybe you had lost a little more blood than you thought.

"Y/N?" Daryl's voice suddenly shouted.

You looked over Merle's shoulder to find your husband rushing across Alexandria towards you after noticing the commotion.

"I'm fine. I'm fine." You insisted, although you were starting to doubt that.

A second later, Daryl was in front of you beside Merle, his bright panicked blue eyes looking you up and down before pausing on your injured shoulder. He quickly pulled out his rag from his back pocket and pressed it against the wound causing you to hiss in pain.

"Shit, sweetheart. The hell happened?" Daryl questioned, keeping pressure on the wound as he looked down at the boys either side of you.

"Mum got shot." Dean supplied, like that part wasn’t already obvious.

"It's a long story." You answered, blinking the blurriness from your eyes. "What happened to you?"

"Longer story."

"Denise can help mum. She's in the infirmary with Carl." Ricky informed, pointing back to the building behind you.

"Carl? Why is Carl- ain't important." Daryl shook his head before focusing back on you. "Can ya walk?"

Probably not.

"Yeah." You said instead because you were a Grimes and a Dixon, and you were stupidly stubborn.

Merle raised his eyebrows at you knowing that was a total lie before he let go of your arm and took a step back with a look that said, prove it.

Daryl hovered beside you anxiously, also coming to the same realisation that you were probably lying which was a good thing because you barely made it a few feet before your weak legs buckled out from underneath you.

Daryl rushed forward and caught you just in time before he lifted your good arm over his shoulder and helped you the rest of the way to the infirmary while Merle trailed behind with the boys, reassuring his nephews that you were going to be okay.

"Don't you pass out on me, sweetheart." Daryl muttered under his breath.

"I thought you were dead." You whispered, dropping your head down against his shoulder. "I thought- I thought..."

"Shhh. Save your strength."

You nodded against his shoulder ever so slightly before your eyes began to drift shut and the last thing you heard was Daryl shouting your name before everything faded into darkness.

-

You awoke sometime later to a dull ache in your shoulder.

"Ouch." You mumbled, blinking your eyes open to find Denise leaning over you.

She was securing your arm in a sling which had you frowning in confusion because what did you need a sling for?

Oh, right, the gunshot.

"That's what you get for hiding your injury." Denise replied, standing back up as she looked down at you with her hands on her hips. "You better heal quickly because you're kinda the only other person in Alexandria with medical training. I need you."

You smiled weakly, "thanks."

Denise smiled back, "I'll let Daryl know you're awake."

She walked out the room a moment later and you glanced around realising that you were in the back room of the infirmary. You still felt a little lightheaded, the impact of blood loss still affecting you as you glanced down at your shoulder to find it heavily bandaged beneath the sling.

"Don't ever do that again." Daryl's voice suddenly said.

You looked up to find him leaning in the doorway, biting at his thumb nail as he stared at you worriedly.

"I'm fine." You insisted.

"Ya nearly died from blood loss. That ain't fine." Daryl muttered, pushing himself off the doorframe before he walked over to your bed and sat down on the edge of the mattress. "How are you feelin'?"

"Good. All things considered." You answered honestly before a thought suddenly hit you like a truck. "Carl, is he-"

"Denise said that he'll be okay."

Instant relief washed over you at those words. Your brother was alive. He was going to be okay.

Thank goodness.

"Where are the boys?"

"With Merle and Abe. They're worried 'bout ya. But they're fine." Daryl reassured, reaching for your free hand before lacing his fingers together with yours. "I thought I was gonna lose ya, sweetheart."

"I'm still here." You whispered, squeezing his hand gently. "I thought I had already lost you."

“Nearly did a few times out there to be honest."

Your head snapped up, “what-"

"I'll tell ya later. It ain't important right now." He briefly explained and you nodded. "The boys told me what happened. All of it."

You thought back to everything that had happened in the last 24 hours. The attackers invading Alexandria. The tower collapsing. Jessie and Sam getting torn apart right in front of you, Carl getting shot... all of it.

"Are you okay?" Daryl asked gently, and you knew he wasn't talking about the gunshot wound.

"It could've been one of our boys that died. Sam was about their age, it could've been them." You whispered, hating the fact that you could feel tears stinging your eyes.

"But it wasn't." Daryl reminded, squeezing your hand gently. "We taught our sons how to protect themselves. We taught 'em how to be brave 'n now look at 'em. They were helping defend this town and kill walkers."

You smiled softly, "when did they grow up?"

Daryl suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bundle of what looked to be old polaroid photos. Why did he have random polaroids?

"Here." He fanned out the photos before turning them around for you to see.

They weren’t just random polaroid photos, they were your polaroid photos.

"How... when... what..." You trailed off unable to form a single coherent sentence as you stared at the family photos in utter shock.

"Merle 'n I did a trip a while back. Went to the old house, it had been scavenged pretty hard, but managed to find these." Daryl explained, like it wasn’t a big deal. "Was gonna save 'em for your birthday as a surprise but figured you could use the pick-me-up now."

The photos were mostly of the boys from when they were younger, even a few baby photos too. There were some of Daryl and Merle with the kids and a few of them separately. A couple were family photos that Merle had taken of the four of you. They were a little blurry because he was a terrible photographer, but they still looked decent.

There was even an older polaroid of Rick and Shane in their Deputy uniforms. You had forgotten you kept that photo all those years ago.

"This my favourite." Daryl said, holding up the photo of Merle and Ricky who were both flipping off the camera.

You chuckled remembering that day like it was yesterday.

"I can't believe you grabbed these." You whispered, silent tears falling down your cheeks as you stared at the family photos. "Thank you."

Daryl smiled, leaning down and placing a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

"Hope I'm not interrupting." Your fathers voice suddenly said.

You looked up to find Rick hovering in the doorway with Judith in his arms.

Judith!

Thank goodness she was okay. How could you even have forgotten about her?

"I should go check on the boys anyway. I'll give you two a minute." Daryl said, leaving the family photos in your lap before he stood up and began to walk out the room.

Rick patted Daryl's shoulder as he walked past before your father entered the room and sat down on the chair beside your bed. His eyes flashed down to the family photos, and he smiled softly at them.

"Carl's gonna be okay. Thanks to you."

You looked away from the photos and stared at your father in confusion.

"Denise said that if you didn't slow the bullet down, Carl might not be here."

Oh.

"Glad I didn't get shot for nothing then." You responded, trying to make light of the situation, but by the glare your father sent you, it clearly didn't work.

"Why didn't you tell me that the bullet hit you too?" He asked, glancing down at your bandaged up shoulder. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"You had bigger things to worry about, dad. Carl was the priority."

Rick sighed, "you still should have told me."

"You were freaking out over Carl. I didn't want to give you something else to freak out about." You admitted, thinking back to the aftermath of the gunshot.

"So, passing out from blood loss was your plan to stop me from freaking out?"

"Surprisingly that was not part of the plan. No."

Judith giggled happily at your words despite not understanding a single thing, but it caused your father to snort in amusement which you were going to call a small victory.

Rick glanced down at his youngest daughter in his lap before looking back at you, his eldest.

He opened his mouth to say something but didn't get the chance before Merle suddenly walked through the door, a flash of relief washing over him when he noticed that you were up.

"Ricky, Dean, come here! Your mother is awake." Merle called out.

"It's Rick." Ricky voice corrected from outside the room.

Merle looked back out the door, "but Dean just called you Ricky like 30 seconds ago."

"Only he gets to call me that." Ricky stated, walking through the door with Dean before they both rushed over to your bedside. "Uncle Merle is being annoying." Your eldest grumbled.

"Uncle Merle is always annoying." You pointed out, glancing between your sons before looking over at your brother-in-law who was standing in the doorway.

Merle rolled his eyes, "glad you're awake, Y/N."

"Thanks, Dixon." You smiled before he walked out the room and you turned your attention back to your sons.

"You're okay?" Dean asked, eyeing the sling sceptically.

"Totally okay." You reassured just as Daryl walked back into the room and wandered over to your bedside, ruffling Ricky and Deans hair.

"Boys, come look at these photos." Daryl said, picking up the polaroids from your bed and handing them to the kids while steering them across the room to give you and Rick some privacy.

You sent Daryl a grateful smile and he gave you a small nod before you glanced back at your father to find him watching Daryl and the boys with a warm smile spreading across his face.

Neither of you said anything for a few minutes while you watched your husband and sons across the room before Rick let out a deep exhale and turned his attention back to you.

"What is it?" You asked, knowing that he had wanted to say something earlier before getting interrupted.

"I'm proud of you, Y/N."

You blinked in surprise thinking that you must have heard him wrong.

"What?" You asked dumbly.

"I'm proud of you." He repeated, smiling softly as he stared at you before nodding back towards Daryl and the kids. "You used to be their age. You used to be my baby girl, and now you're this strong, beautiful young woman who has her own family. You kept them alive through all of this. You kept me alive too, not just today, but on many occasions. And I'm proud of you."

Hearing those four little words from your father was something that you hadn't realised you needed until now.

"I'll always be your baby girl. Well, I got some competition now." You fought back tears and smiled looking down at Judith in your father’s lap.

"Grandpa, come look at these photos! There's one of me with my first rabbit." Ricky suddenly called out.

Rick chuckled softly, wiping his own tears from his eyes before he leant forward and placed a gentle kiss to the side of your head.

"Bring the photos over here. Let's look at them together with your mother." Rick instructed and a second later, the boys were jumping on top of your bed before laying out the Polaroids over your blanket to show Rick.

Daryl smiled gently, watching them as he sat down on the side of your bed and wrapped his arm around your good shoulder, pulling you into his side.

"Everything okay?" He whispered, noticing the tears in your eyes.

You nodded, wiping them away as you watched your family in front of you happily.

"Everything is perfect."

-

PART 6

-

MASTERLIST pinned to profile.

Commissions open! Link in bio & DM for enquiries.

A/N: Sorry this new part was a little delayed, but I hope you all enjoyed it.

More parts might be added in the future, but until then stay safe everyone and have a great day ❤️

[cpunkhobie]

Pretty much the whole post comes from Ballad of a Rat Man because of course it does

#splinter # ‘huh I feel so attached to glory that I shall lie to my son and put his prized possession into a demolition derby simultaneously using it as #an excuse to hang out with my son I otherwise have a hard time connecting with. this is a totally normal thought process to have and does #not come from 100s of unprocessed traumas and emotions At Fucking All!' my baby girl GO TO THERAPY #…... I needa screenshot those tags and put them into an analysis one second (link)

Aight ok so I'm not going to talk about each individual trauma that lead to Splinter's thought process in this episode because that is a post for another day, but I do wanna focus on why Splinter and most parents don't process their trauma until after their kids' development years.

So the thing is that before his sons's were teenagers, despite all of his fucking trauma Splinter literally Wasn't In a Place to be able to process his trauma and raise 4 kids. That's not something you can do while having to be responsible for 4 other peoples lives, especially as a single parent. Your own emotional wellbeing and focus on general wellbeing is something you have to sacrifice in that situation. He physically does not have the time to process his emotions AND keep his sons alive and well when they are defenseless babies and young children who cannot safely think for themselves.*

That's also why his son's emotional developments are stunted, which is something that unfortunately was unavoidable given their situation. Something I've delved deeper into in this post(link). Because you can't neglect the emotional needs of yourself without also neglecting the emotional needs of others. Without an understanding of your own thought processes, unhealthy behaviors then get put onto, and in the case of parenting, echoed onto other people. And in parenting how much your kids copy you is something that can be both fascinating and painfully detrimental.

In Splinter's case repressing his own emotions to raise his sons taught his sons to also hide, repress, and isolate themselves and their feelings from others. Something that sews this blanket of distrust and suspicion across his entire family. And it sucks, because even if Splinter had gotten a chance to process this inherent distrust of others built into him by his family's generational trauma, there's a very slim chance that this emotional repression wouldn't have gotten passed down anyway.

Because again, this emotional neglect is something that was unavoidable. And that's the worst fucking part about it, the fact that no matter what the Hamato family is always set up to distrust each other. And like, god something about that just fucking gets to me man. Especially when you look at the Finale and movie because the whole thing really is just about trust.

"You said you wanted to hang out with us, you lied!" "I did not lie about wanting to hang out with you..." I just. Fuck dude, it's about integrity and it's about trust. And it's about half truths and fear.

Splinter lied to his son not because he didn't want to hang out with him, it's because he was terrified of further analyzing his feelings to find out what they really mean. How that lust for glory comes from a long history of never being able to live up to expectations, and then having that be used against you in an abusive relationship.

Big Mama's glorification of Yoshi in the Battle Nexus was never about glorifying him, it was about objectifying him. And using his insecurity as a power-move that makes sure he stays in her control even years later. It keeps him as her thing that she can use. Ough I could so go more into this but that's for a later date. More about this specifically here(link) and here(link).

Looking for a deeper understanding of his emotions would mean learning or teaching himself from scratch how to do something he hadn't done in years if ever.** It would mean really having to pick apart his trauma and thinking "where does this lust for glory come from." And the truth is that lust for bright glory comes from a dark, dark place. Lush with disappointments, inadequacies, and fucking abuse trauma. And that's terrifying so he lies. And what's the harm in that if it's an excuse to hang out with his son right? A son he already has a hard time connecting with for *gestures to the above* but also because his son is autistic.

It's about a fundamental misunderstanding of your family members but a lust to better connect and understand them. And that's what the Ballad of Rat Man is about, it's about choosing to connect with your family over hiding from your traumas. It's about the horrifying ideal of being known.

It's not just about Splinter seeing Donnie but it's also about Donnie seeing him. It's about seeing his dad in a way he hadn't seen him before, an at least insecure if not deeply hurt person . And it's about him finding understanding and connection and remorse with that. About understanding if not where that pain comes from, at least understanding that it's there; and that it's a pain they both share. It's about trust, and integrity. And kicking butt and taking names !!!!

And yeah I think that's it

*god I just needa cry abt this part for a bit. Like as a parent it's your job to teach your child how to think for themselves which is something that is so hard because it also admits having to let them go and that is so fucking hard both for the parent and the kid. God. The way I phrased that made me sound like a parent I'm literally a teenager

**the something I'm referring to being processing his emotions

[helloimsoverybored]

A Pretty Long Rant on RPF shippers in the context of David Tennant and Michael Sheen

the entire georgia/anna discourse is so. bullshit. because those are actual, real people, with real lives and real relationships with those around them

Regarding dt and gt, just saying, no one has five children together as part of a pr stunt. Same with Michael and Anna.

And the fact that rpf people fail to realise this is concerning- taking the "my wife" jokes quite literally. News flash, it's a fucking joke. It's not something gt and al are making up to cover up for the fact that their respective partners fell in love with each other (yes, this is an actual take i've seen on this matter)

And idk if the rpf people are just dumb or are fully aware of what they're doing, despite the fact that they're completely tearing apart the lives of real people.

Another retort I've often seen is that fans have the right to criticize celebrities. Yes, yes they do. But breaking down a marriage spanning over a decade isn't criticism! You're creating fake problems out of thin air and for what? Genuinely, for what?

Rpf shippers just automatically assume the worst in both Georgia and Anna, and you know what? God forbid women do anything. Because that's exactly what this is.

They're completely vilifying gt and al because... they're in a relationship with their "blorbo actors?" They're acting like gt/dt and al/ms are fictional characters that you can play around with like dolls but you can't play around with real people's lives! Simply put, it isn't ethical.

I feel like the rpf people just fail to understand the meaning of “real”, because I don’t even know how one can feel so alright and happy by tearing apart the lives of real people. The fact that people are finding every possible way to find problems in their current relationships to suit their fantasies is so fucking disgusting.

Okay now if you're with me so far, I'm impressed. Stay with me because I'm not done yet.

Regarding Georgia, don't rpf blogs just love to criticize her and her parenting methods? That Georgia's just lazy and only wants to drink wine, but omfg. wtf. She has fucking 5 children. I don't care what you think, managing those many kids is NOT an easy task. But also... posts I've seen on this matter never seem to bring up David? Why? Isn't he a parent? Shouldn't he also have a role in parenting? Whatever Georgia does surely won't be against what David believes, right? Wake up, rpf shippers, wake the fuck up.

David almost definitely does have a role in the parenting (anyone willing to fight me on this, come off, I'll give you the reasons) but since he’s all over London at the moment, he probably doesn’t have much time. Which means that gt has to manage 4-5 kids all by herself. So she does actually deserve a break, more than anyone else. But she doesn’t because wahoo god forbid women do anything.

And putting all that aside, what the hell gives rpf people the right to hate on her as if they know her irl. Their default behavioral status is set to mean and bitchy and that’s just. concerning. rpf people need to understand the difference between real life and fiction istfg.

Okay, i swear I'm nearing the end of this rant, please don't go yet.

Sometimes fans do have the right to speak up against an UNHEALTHY relationship. There are multiple examples all over the place where one person has expressed dissatisfaction but no one took them seriously. Except… neither gt/dt nor ms/al have expressed dissatisfaction. At all. It’s actually the exact opposite where they keep fawning for each other. There’s 0 suggestions of any of them being unhappy in their respective relationships apparent from yall overanalyzing their body language to the point where it becomes false.

Do Georgia and Anna ship themselves with each other and ship David with Michael? Yes. But that's a fucking joke. Learn to take a joke, yalls, it will get you a long way. And even if they are the ones doing the shipping, so what? That doesn’t give you the right to. It’s their lives. You’re just a person viewing their lives from a small peep hole known as Instagram.

[seahydra]

🐍 cybergoth summary post 🦇

I'm not kidding when I say this is long. This is all just early relationship backstory for the most part. Sorry for any cringe. I love you.

LAZARUS, strange thing that she is, is abruptly sent to Hell one morning. Not dead yet; it was because she had apparently "applied" to be part of an "exchange program" at an academy full of demons. She does not recall ever applying to this in the first place, and certainly doesn't want to go back to school again, but she figures it's best not to object for now.

He has the details explained to him a bit less in-detail than he would like and is sent to the house where he'll be living in for the rest of the year until the program is over. He has. Six roommates. He's so fucking mad.

While the demon assigned to be her "guardian" (Mammon) is in the middle of talking about something she's not really paying attention to, they're both interrupted by another person entering the room, clearly already pissed off. This is Leviathan. Seeing Lazarus seems to give him an idea 💡 (bad) - and he promptly drags her off to his room.

Now, in her room... Lazarus is absolutely fascinated by it. It's aquatic. There's a bathtub full of blankets in there- her bed? She has a computer with 4 monitors. There is so much anime merch and some of it is of series that he recognizes and loves dearly.

Levi's room makes her feel a little bit hopeful. She'd been worried about not being able to adjust to a new place, about being friendless and needing to hide her interests, as usual... but there was a fellow nerd right here! Perhaps she could at least connect with one person?

So he thinks, anyway. But when he mentions also being into the same things Levi is, she immediately shuts that down.

"Yeah, right. Don't try and relate to me, you liar. I know how you normies work- you want to try and act like you're best friends with the weird outcast so you can use everything I tell you against me later!"

And, well, it's not like Lazarus doesn't understand that fear. That's literally happened to her. But the sting of rejection and the anger at an implication that she's some kind of poser causes her to storm out of his room without another word. Levi never gets to tell her what his plan for her was.*

The relationship between those two was strained for weeks afterwards. Whenever one would enter a room, the other would get up and leave. Only interacting with each other if they were somehow required to. Clearly, they don't care for each other very much.

...Even so, Lazarus feels a strange pull whenever he thinks about Levi. Despite his disdain for her and her gatekeeping, he still feels some desire to try and at least understand her a little more. He's not sure why. Maybe it's just because he stubbornly doesn't want to give up on his initial hope of being friends with her... but regardless.

She remembers a bunch of books on Levi's shelf that'd caught her eye the first (and last) time she'd been in his room. Some 138-volume fantasy series: The Tale of the Seven Lords (further referred to as TSL because I'm Not Typing All That). Being no stranger to long fantasy stories with convoluted lore, she decides to get into it.

It's a good series. He likes it a lot. Like, a lot. Seriously. She finishes reading the entire series (+ watches the movies, the animated series, even the god-awful theatrical version) in near record time. It's when he's rereading one of the novels in the living room that Levi catches him and is, well, kind of mad about it.

"Is that-? No way, you CAN'T be... you have to be trying to suck up to me or something, right? Or maybe you're doing this to spite me.. yeah, that sounds more like you. You're probably not even actually READING it-"

"This is my second read through the series."

"Liar."

Lazarus is irritated that he still refuses to believe her, but this interaction was also the most he's spoken to her since their first meeting, so she'll take it. Actually, she wants to take it a bit further: since it seems like he takes anyone liking the same things he does as a personal threat, she figures she'll give him a real one.

So, she challenges him to a trivia contest.

It's a terribly irresponsible idea and he knows it. But, Lazarus hopes there's even the slightest chance that this could all result in loser girl recognizing him as a kindred spirit and them becoming something like friends. NOT like he cares about that anymore, though. It's just no good being on such tense terms with someone you live with. That's all!

Day of the trivia contest. I will be honest. As much as she loved TSL, Lazarus knows she doesn't even come CLOSE to having the same level of investment in it that Levi does. So, she had to pull... a few strings, by asking one of her fellow students for help. That is to say- the match is rigged it's fucking rigged she pulls out a super rare one-of-a-kind piece of merch that Levi doesn't have.

And he's PISSED about it.

"The idea that someone like YOU could be a bigger TSL fan than me, it's- No... no, I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIIIIS!"

The room dissolves into chaos. Several hours later, in the guest bedroom- his bedroom- Lazarus reflects back on everything. Leviathan had just tried to kill him. Shifted into her demon form and everything. It was terrifying.

But she was so... So cuuuuuuuute!

She KNOWS she shouldn't feel that way, but! Once she'd had time to recover from the initial shock of it all, she realizes that perhaps Levi was a lot more interesting than she'd originally thought. The passion! His super cool horns that kind of looked like antlers- no, coral maybe? Anyway, she's kind of left in awe. And then she gets a text message.

Leviathan asks him to meet her in the planetarium. Quickly hiding any evidence of the fact that he was just kicking his feet giggling, he makes his way over. Levi gives him a (very half-hearted, but at least she tried) apology for the incident, and Lazarus speaks without thinking.

"I was impressed by you. Back there, I mean. I'd like to get to know you a little better- why not be my friend?"

"What?! Did you say friends? You and me...?! A-A-Are you... Are you out of your mind?! You know I just tried to attack you, right?"

He knows.

"And if Lucifer hadn't intervened, you'd be dead right now. You realize that, right? I mean, that literally JUST happened."

Yeah, he knows.

"Also... be my friend? Seriously? What are we, on the playground or something? Are you 5?! Who actually walks up to someone and asks them that? Could you BE any lamer?!"

Come on man you had to critique the word choice too?? But Levi's very obviously flustered, which means maybe he doesn't hate the idea THAT much?

"So, is that a no?"

"Whaaaaa-?! Are you even listening to me? Of course it's a no! I... Hey, wait, don't just leave!!!"

Hesitantly, groaning and complaining about it every other sentence in an attempt to seem like the mere idea of making a friend physically pains her, Levi agrees to put their past gripes with each other aside.

"BUT! This doesn't mean we're, like, comrades, though! So don't go getting the wrong idea. It's not like I'm gonna start hanging out with you every day or anything."

So they actually do end up hanging out every day lol. Lmao even.

It takes a minute for Levi to warm up to her, as he's never really had a true friend before. Plus, well... His self-loathing makes it a difficult to believe that anyone could really like him.

But Lazarus is persistent. He's annoyingly persistent. Yet, it makes her so happy... she can't explain these weird feelings she starts to get about him, this desire to somehow be even closer to the one she already calls her best friend- without actually dating him, because that's not what she wants.

It's only when Lazarus off-handedly compares the two of them to a pair of characters in TSL one day that Levi finally starts to understand his actual feelings.

"Hey. Don't you think we're kind of a lot like Henry and the Lord of Shadow?"

"Huuuh?! I mean, I see the individual similarities, but do you mean... relationship-wise?"

"Mhm. You yourself are always going off about their intimate and unbreakable bond. That's kind of what we have, isn't it?"

"I guess so? Their relationship is sorta weird... Like, I wouldn't say they're in love exactly, but they're still kind of... ugh, I dunno. Their scenes just feel different. Something beyond."

"I get it. Henry is friends with all the other lords, too... but his friendships with them aren't anywhere close to the thing he has going on with the Lord of Shadow."

"Right! You get it! We're totally on the same page!"

Lazarus smiles a little.

"That we are. I'm happy to be friends with you, Levi."

* - It's because of this that Lazarus doesn't get to form a pact with Mammon. Actually she doesn't have pacts with anyone except for Levi (which she doesn't get immediately after the competition either. That comes some time later. When they trust each other more)

I have another OC (who's a relative of his. My special boy) that takes care of the pact-making. But Lazarus is still the one that gets into the attic yes.

Anyway it takes a bit of further soul searching, googling, and finding exactly one astonishingly well written QPR Henry/Lord of Shadow fanfic for Levi to learn the specific term for what she's experiencing but. There's that! I don't think they ever ask each other to be partners it just kind of naturally happens.

Also I have playlists.

🎵 [General ship playlist] + [Levi's POV] + [Laz's POV]

[horizon-verizon]

List of HotD Inconsistencies:

(This list will be Continuously Added the more I realize where there is an inconsistency)

Daemon saying to Rhaenyra that he left her bc she "was a child" in episode 7 -- he was the one who said to Viserys to marry them for the sake of the House and that he wanted her, the only thing he asked Viserys in spite of all he wanted; he also said she was not a girl anymore (she's past Westerosi marriageable age and older than 18); Laena is younger than Rhaenyra in the show, yet Daemon married her not long after he left KL, assuming so since we have another time jump after episode 5; Rhaenys and Corlys had a larger age gap than either Daemyra or Aemma x Viserys/Viserys x Alicent and Corlys would have been attracted and talking to Rhaenys for a while before they married for her to be so adamant about marrying him when she was 16....yet the show changes all that

Alicent is adamant in saving Rhaenyra despite having tried to essentially get her and her kids killed or exiled for 10 years

Daemon himself had to claim Caraxes, he didn't bond with him when he was a baby or small child, yet he doesn't know how to comfort his daughter Rhaena about the same "issue" that is actually not an issue at all

a possible relationship with Criston Cole is framed and shit as if it were the most romantic and healthy relationship Rhaenyra could have had aside from the one with Harwin (who still is messing around with a person way younger than him who he had been attracted to since before she hit 18) -> the music and the actors' playfulness of episode 4, the hopefulness of Criston's proposal unpaired with any indication of what a delusion he's drawn up of who she is despite living and talking with her for years...and the Daemon is supposed to be framed as one of the moral villains and antagonists and worst persons in Rhaenyra's personal circle

[pt.2 of the one above] the show not taking advantage of Criston Cole witnessing the white stag approach Rhaenyra and thus (for him, at least, with his devotion to Andal beliefs and customs) show us how he reacts to the sign legitimizing Rhaenyra...and then deciding to abandon her -> making it seem as if a relationship between them would in any way be healthier than one with Daemon -> really, just presenting this whole idea that this is a good relationship and making their separation sem more Rhaenyra's fault than actually Criston's!

Rhaenyra knowing that the greens are plotting against her for years to install Aegon, having proposed to Daemon explicitly saying she needed him for her upcoming conflict with he greens, and then calling it "Daemon's war" and not wanting Daemon to shore up their defenses not immediately imprisoning Otto Hightower to have him right where she can keep him

Rhaenyra flip-flopping between showing strength to Otto or Daemon....then crying over a torn out page from a person who tried to kill/banish her and her sons

Rhaenyra being in any way affected by Alicent's page when she told Alicent before Alicent is essentially the biggest hypocrite AND Alicent has been trying to get her and her kids either killed or banished forever -> the page was specifically about Nymeria who would become the founder of the current House of Martell and remade the entire Dornish culture through her conquests and marriage to the then Martell Andal-only lord, aka, one of ASoiaF's women who was completely assured of her autonomous right to rule and responsible for a literal cultural reset that only benefited both herself as well as those she conquered for generation into current time, ahem genderless primogeniture....Alicent is trying to usurp Rhaenyra based on the "only males can rule" bullshit....you can't make this stuff up

Rhaenys absolutely knowing (or should know) that the greens could and would imprison or kill any of her grandkids, herself, and Corlys....yet allowing them to live in episode 9

Aemond supposedly being the son who "reads all the philosophies and prepared himself for leadership to protect his home and family"...then making the bright decision in antagonizing an envoy under someone else's home and killing him after chasing him down for more than 5 minutes tops -> Even if it weren't a decision, that would be even worse! If he knew he didn't have control over a dragon, AND didn't want to kill Luke, just to scare him (for 5 mins?)...why chase him down at all?! He's been riding Vhagar for years, so he either should have been way better at getting her to obey him OR he would have known that he couldn't control her all that well and avoid letting his emotions get the better of him. He would have known the risks, yet took them anyway! Then we have to assume that he actually wanted Luke dead and sought it out. That he did have control over Vhagar! Otherwise, we fall back again on him just being a dumbass, bc again, he said he studied to become better, have more emotional control, be more strategic, and smarter...but then pulls this? What a mess!

Criston Cole managing to get out of execution or imprisonment simply because Alicent said so, when he killed a man under Viserys' roof and that same man essentially having had guests rights...(digressing from the topic of inconsistencies and plotholes, this does not happen in the book -- Cole killed Joffrey during a tourney match, which both show and book audiences know are highly dangerous, so the point there was that Cole could get away with it on account of it being an already dangerous sport/event that is socially sanctioned; the book's telling of how Cole killed Joffrey makes more sense and has more potential to be emotionally more charged with helplessness)

*the Targs somehow not having an ounce of darker skin or kinkier/curlier hair despite making the Velaryon the exclusively black house and Viserys/Daemon/Rhaenys have 2 female Velaryon ancestors*

Rhaenyra showing a desire for vengeance for Luke but not Visenya, who died before Luke and who she lost while trying to hurry up and respond to the green threat herself without Daemon "interfering" (AND her calling the council at all, in the book, for the fact that she lost Visenya and the greens took her throne...again, going back to how she knows the greens want it)

episode 3, in the daytime Daemon (relatively way less armored than before) charges through the field without getting a single arrow to the head but in the 2nd episode (nighttime) an arrow pierces what looks to be his chest or shoulder while he is in full armor and on the mobile Caraxes. The entire thing, while entertaining and shocking, still makes about as much sense as Rhaenys bursting through the floor of the Dragonpit; my man should have become a porcupine with specific choreography matches with the specific set pieces and props locations they decided to go with