#but fuck mew he has his reasons to not want to be bostons friend but also he clearly thinks hes somehow superior to boston and its yucky

[sunnenfinster]

why are multiple people saying that boston has always been truthful about who he is and what he wants from/with nick? when in ep 11 3/4 he told nick "but from now there will only be your photos because i'll only sleep with you" and "but you might be my exception" after nick talked about why boston doesn't do serious relationships ... i dont know how you interpret these words but to me they say that boston wanted to be in a serious and closed relationship with nick so in my eyes it wasn't just nick who misunderstood boston but boston who wasn't truthful to nick, boston who tried to be someone hes not just like nick rightfully pointed out, boston who ended up cheating on nick with boeing

i personally don't hate boston but i can't blame anyone for disliking him and there are enough reasons to do so outside of him sleeping around, i am pretty sure a lot of people who dislike him don't do it because of that ... hes not an asshole because he sleeps around, but sleeping around also doesnt make him less of an asshole because that doesn't cancel out the rest of the shitty things he did and does

that all being said, i definitely wish we got an apology from the friend group too and not just from chuem for punching him ... that was definitely overdue

[respectthepetty]

Boss "No Boundaries" Ton

All these Only Friends kids are toxic. They are friends for a reason. They ALL like to control people through sex (yes, Mew too) cause birds of a feather flock together and all that jazz.

Top should be the antagonist, but as much as I dislike Top's cockiness, he has proven he respects boundaries . . . as long as they get him to his ultimate goal, so he isn't toxic. We know who he is, and his intentions are clear.

But Boston the Hunter?

That man is a God damn problem.

As a self-admitted slut, I'm not slut-shaming him. Boston can snatch up all the dick he wants like this is a game of Pokémon Go at its peak in 2016 and he has to collect them all. That's not the issue. I want him to be a toxic slut. The problem is the way he goes about it.

He is a predator.

The very first scene we see Boston in introduced him as such. From the colored bracelets, Boston knew this man was taken, yet that didn't matter to him. The man was open to a threesome, but look at how Boston corners him. They are in a tight space for more intimacy, and Boston puts his arms on both sides of the man. He can't run. And Boston doesn't let up. He gets closer into the man's personal space, and his eyes never leave his target.

It's a club. The guy is into it. Boston's approach could easily be dismissed.

But this is a pattern.

Boston corners people, gets them in tight spaces, and doesn't give them the option to leave.

He is aggressive.

Because this is about control.

And he views sex as an extension of that control.

Because when he is questioned, Boston becomes more aggressive.

Boston's needs override everyone else's. When Top told him no in the shower, he told Top he wanted it, then pushed him.

There is a clear boundary there. Boston's hand is leaning on it. But he doesn't care. He forces his way past it.

Even when Boston does give the illusion of options, he still forces the other person to accept what he wants.

Nick told him "fuck buddies" yet . . .

Boston doesn't accept Nick's answer because Boston doesn't respect boundaries. He pushes past them to show that he is the one in control of the situation. Then, he makes the disrespect clear by calling Nick a name he knows bothers Nick since he shared that he was bullied for his hair when he was younger.

He is a predator because he feeds on people's weaknesses. He knows what makes them vulnerable and he pounces on it, which is why he is willing to throw his friends' tense relationship under the bus because this isn't just about Top's weakness being Mew.

But about Ray's weakness being Mew since Boston wants to bring down Mew by any means necessary, so he is making sure to corner him and get him trapped on both sides. He is controlling this.

Boston's eyes don't leave his prey. He is laser-focused to the point of obsession and even collects photos of conquests like trophies.

I cracked a joke that Boston was the devil, but

Him and his trophies reside in red flag hell, so it makes sense that Mew, a person who controls through sex with boundaries, will be the one to create the biggest barrier for a predator who respects no boundaries.

Which is why he is willing to drag everyone down with him.

Boston is dangerous because his doesn't have limits when trying to gain control.

Everything is fair game to him.

[firstkanaphans]

Is Only Friends Slut-Shaming Boston?

I’m going to be real honest here. When this idea first started making the rounds, I just thought it was a bad take, but then so many people were saying it that I started to wonder if I had missed something. So, I rewatched the finale and now can confidently say…it’s a bad take.

Do I think the narrative is punishing Boston? Abso-fucking-lutely! But is it because he’s a slut? No, of course not. (All of these assholes are sluts!) Boston is being punished because he slept with his best friend’s boyfriend. And—hot take—but I don’t think that’s an unfair reason for the narrative to punish someone. Even sluts need to have boundaries sometimes. 

The first major complaint I’ve seen is that the narrative is slut-shaming Boston by making him the only character who ends up alone (which is categorically untrue because Nick also ends up alone, but that is neither here nor there.) This story only had two possible endings: either Boston ended up alone or he ended up with Nick. And I think, if given the choice, this is the ending Boston would have chosen for himself. This isn’t a sad ending for him. He’s unhappy being in a monogamous relationship. This is what he wants. 

This is also just a ridiculous argument altogether because if you think Only Friends is slut-shaming its characters, the last thing you should want is for one of your sluts to suddenly decide not to be a slut because of the healing power of love. I would argue that forcing a polyamorous man into a monogamous relationship would be even more sex negative than what happened in canon. 

And for those saying polyamory should have been considered, I would just like to remind you that there are two people in Boston and Nick’s relationship and they both deserve a say. That is, very literally, what ethical non-monogamy is. It has to be consensual. 

From day one, Nick has wanted to be in a monogamous relationship with Boston. That’s what their arc is all about. And when they finally get together in episode eleven, Boston makes it explicitly clear that monogamy is one of the terms he’s offering. So while I think it’s perfectly valid for Boston to want a polyamorous relationship, I don’t think it’s fair to expect Nick to just accept that when he was promised differently. The central conflict here is not Boston’s promiscuousness. It’s that Nick wants a monogamous relationship and Boston doesn’t. And that’s okay! Boston is free to live his “fun and sassy” life as Nick calls it (with no judgment whatsoever), but Nick is also free to live his. 

People have been dragging Sand for telling Nick not to “lower his bar” for Boston, insinuating that this is slut-shaming language, but I actually think the conversation between him and Nick perfectly illustrates why this whole situation with Boston is not slut-shaming. Sand spells it out clearly: “People have different ideas about this,” i.e. “You and Boston have different ideas about this. He wants one thing, you want another. Don’t change for him.” He never suggests that Boston’s way of living is bad, he is simply saying that it’s not compatible with Nick’s.

The only argument I have heard in favor of Only Friends slut-shaming its characters that I feel holds any water is that Boston never received a proper apology for any of the horrible things that were done to him—but then again, neither did Top. Now this could certainly be because Top is a slut, too, and therefore doesn't deserve apologies, but I think it’s far more likely that the directors were simply running out of available screen time. 

Boston ends the series having re-kindled his friendship with Ray and Chuem. He has moved to New York to live out his dream. He is single—which is what he wants. I don’t think this is a bad ending for him.  Boston’s biggest slut-shamer has always been Mew and him sleeping with Top only reinforced that idea. If you think the narrative is slut-shaming Boston, I think you’re only seeing things from Mew’s perspective. Mew is slut-shaming Boston. Mew is punishing Boston. The narrative remains neutral.

TL;DR: No. Boston is a slut and he is being shamed, but the two are unrelated.

[heretherebedork]

Top is the fantasy type of addict, the kind of person who can quit without hesitation and will stop instantly for any reason.

Ray is the real addict, who smiles and promises to stop but never does because it's not so straightforward or simple and he can't just stop.

And that's why Mew loves Top and fell for him so hard.

Because Top fulfills his fantasy of fixing someone, of making them better, and it happening just because of him being love and him being there. Top stopped using drugs to stay with Mew. Top stopped fucking around to stay with Mew. Top acted like the hero out of a novel, repressing and changing all his vices to fit into the box Mew needs for dating and love. Even Top's trauma is 'easily fixed' by just sharing a bed and cuddling at night.

But Ray could never do that. Because Ray is messy and hurt and aching and broken and he is using alcohol and drugs and sex to cover up the pain he can't hide from and pain he can't run from. His trauma isn't solved by cuddling, he can't stop drinking because Mew tells him to and he keeps turning to Mew without taking his advice and without changing himself for him.

Top is a fantasy. He presents himself as a fantasy to Mew and he lives that life. He quits drugs, quits sex, turns monogamous and, yes, he might really have feelings for Mew but that doesn't change that he's still giving Mew a chance to live that literary and romantic fantasy and someone changing themselves for the sake of love in the most simplified fashion.

Ray is a reality. Ray is an addict who might promise to drink less but can't follow through. Ray is an addict who cannot simply stop. He is struggling and drowning in his own addiction and he hurts people and he hurts himself and he aches and he calls Mew ready to kill himself because he cannot fight his demons alone and his demons are all around him. He struggles and he falls and he hits the bottom and he keeps going and he calls for help again and again and he is constant work, constant effort, constant neediness.

Mew has, openly, always wanted that fantasy. He wants to live out the romance in books because they always end up in a predictable way and those fantasies include people who change themselves for love because love is enough to heal their issues, love was enough to heal their trauma, love was enough for them to fundamentally change as a person.

That's why Mew is so hurt by Top sleeping with Boston. Because that is proof that Top didn't change. That all the fantasies he had about Top loving him enough to change himself entirely came crashing down around him. Because no one can fulfill an impossible fantasy and loving someone because they can shape themselves into your fantasy is a hard way to love someone.

(Mew punched Ray because he had a specific fantasy about how he would reveal his knowledge of Top cheating and he was willing to sacrifice Ray to that fantasy, to punch his best friend who told him he was being cheated on, because the reveal being public didn't fit his own dreams of the event. Mew will pick his fantasy over real people again and again and I wonder how that will play out in this new era after Top's cheating was revealed.)

[yujeong]

Ok, Ok, I think I need to lay down. Yes, SandRay floored us today. Yes, Khaotung wanted to personally kill me with his acting and First with his huge eyes filled with tears. Yes, whatever the fuck TopMew had going on this episode had me pull my hair in frustration in a good way, because Mew is a hilariously horrible person and Boeing is unhinged. BUT. Listen. BostonNick stole the episode for me. That scene. That fucking scene. Everything that happened before that scene was the perfect set up. Atom setting Boston up. Cheum and co going to his house to shame him and denounce him as their friend. Nick and Dan. Their encounter at Nick's shop. It was all delicious and perfectly executed but it could never prepare me for this. We see Boston looking sad at the distance and Nick coming to him to talk (after he saw Boston's feelings about him through the fucking phone wallpaper pls, I'm not OK). He asks him and Boston is defensive but then Nick insists and Boston, in his need to have someone comfort him FINALLY, says what happened. At first Nick responds by telling him how things are; seems legit, he says, given what you've done. Boston tells him to cut it off but not in his usual way, he's not cruel or rude, he's simply asking to not be shit on rn. Nick listens and apologizes and he means it and I love it.

But Boston feels weird and cannot understand wtf is wrong with him and it's real and I love that he trusted Nick to ask him about it. And Nick's answer is perfect for Boston, because sure, for us, the audience it seems so obvious; of course Boston is doing fucked up shit in his desperation to be loved and accepted, but Boston doesn't know that. No one TOLD him that, no one SHOWED him that.

Boston's answer to that is even better, because he still doesn't understand. And he needs a more valid reason than that.

Nick's answer? Oh, my beautiful nasty little boy. He was so real for it. He needed to gather himself to say it. He needed time to utter those words. "I also did nasty shit to you, Boston" he tells him. "Maybe we belong together" What Boston said next was breathtaking. I love him for that.

He might as well have said "I love you" here. It has the same weight as that phrase. That's why Nick breaks down. That's why he kisses him like that, crying uncontrollably and telling him he missed him too. Because we already knew about Nick's feelings towards Boston. We knew the guy had an obsession turned love towards him. But with Boston it's different. And Nick thought so too before this phrase was uttered, before Boston basically confessed he has feelings for Nick, or more precisely, that Nick is special to Boston. And he proceeds to say it AGAIN, after Nick says it. He says AGAIN how he missed him and he THANKS him for staying by his side with TEARS in his own eyes. They hug while crying together, please, I'm too weak for this. And then they make LOVE. They don't just fuck, they make sweet love to each other while staring at each other's eyes and kissing and being cute and I fucking DIED right there. BostonNick is all I ever wanted and more. I need MORE, please, I can't handle myself. This episode was SO GOOD, I can't DEAL with this.

[neuroticbookworm]

Boston and his "friends"

Last week, after I watched Boston get wrongfully branded by Atom as a sexual predator and isolated from the group, I was seething with rage and wanted to see Cheum, Mew and Ray to fall at Boston's feet and beg for his forgiveness after the truth comes out.

But today, honestly, I think it is a better character arc for Boston if he doesn't get that resolution from them. Because he fucking doesn't need it. He has defined a wonderful relationship with Nick, his first love, that will give him joy until he leaves for New York (cc @lurkingshan) and he has listened to Atom's grovelling apology. He has no other hangups tying him down.

Cheum, Ray and Mew, on the other hand, do not have the conviction to confront the truth in their relationships. They accused Boston of being duplicitous but none of them approaches their own problems with anything even remotely resembling a healthy communication.

Cheum heard her brother tell her that he lied about Boston taking advantage of him and all she could say was this:

She did not feel horrified that her brother chose to slander a friend, and she does not feel any remorse for her actions. I bet she thinks it's all fine because Boston is a slut anyway, he slept with Top and ruined Mew's relationship, so why does it matter that he was wrongfully accused this one time. Well, Cheum, it doesn't matter to him, but it will matter to you as you have not learned the integrity to face your mistakes and apologize for them. An apology should not be made expecting forgiveness in return, and it should not be valued based on the moral standing of the person you're apologizing to.

Mew. Oh, Mew, Mew, Mew. @lurkingshan pointed out during our post-episode conversation that Mew cannot stick to his schemes, he peters out at the first sign of stress and gives in to the status quo. He wanted to give Top a second chance, and then Boeing showed up. After understanding that Boeing is playing games for his own revenge-on-Top agenda, he initially goes along with it to spite Top. And after all the scheming has made both of them utterly miserable, he listens to his parents and finally decides to give Top an honest-to-goodness second chance. But, he doesn't give it after going through the painful process of self-reflection, and communication where both of them can set clear boundaries and understand where they each stand. Nope. Instead, they just casually agreed to push it away to deal with it in the future.

I declare my love for Theory of Love as loudly and passionately as I can whenever I get the chance on this hellsite, and one of the main reasons why I love that show so goddamn much is the conversation between Khai and Third in the Theory of Love Special Episode, where Khai admits that a girl kissed his neck at a party and how he tried so hard to keep Third from finding out. Third then tells him that he has known about the kiss the whole time, and how Khai need not worry; he knows the difference between an accident and a kiss with purpose. He then tells him that Khai is not the only one trying to make this relationship work, he is trying too, because Third also loves Khai and wants to be with him.

This is what healthy communication looks like. The issues and miscommunications must be tackled head-on and resolved before moving on, so they don't fester into an even bigger and more painful problem later. You can't "leave the problems to the future" and expect it to work itself out. In case y'all don't remember, Khai had to step on literal broken glass to stand his ground and plead his case after a miscommunication, and it was still not enough. That's how painful this process is and I will bet my bottom dollar that Mew has exactly zero percent of the fortitude it takes to talk through a relationship faux pas.

Ray, the human embodiment of a fucking dumpster fire. All he says to Sand after accusing him of taking money from his dad in exchange of taking care of him is "I'm sorry" and Sand immediately takes him back into his arms (I'm so embarrassed that I was briefly rooting for Sand at the start of the show). He does his community service with Sand for a hot minute and then immediately plans an overseas trip to whisk him away. He spells it out, yet again, how he is always looking to "buy" Sand (cc @wen-kexing-apologist)

Buying Sand, ya know, the exact same thing he was mad about, one episode ago.

Trying to prove that Ray's communication skills are severely subpar and unhealthy is like trying to prove that the water in the ocean is salty; the more time I spend on this, the stupider I would look.

All of this is a long winded way to say that Cheum, Mew and Ray will be too busy trying to escape their own trappings, the ones they built for themselves while they convinced self and each other that they are better than Boston; while Boston moves on with his life, living unapologetically as he always does. They can keep their apologies -- I don’t need it, and neither does Boston.

[akkpipitphattana]

no but the way sand miscalculated with ray this episode. he's coming at it from the perspective that ray doesn't give a shit about him, right? ray's been jerking him around this whole time, ray's just using him, so it's fine to use him right back. it's fair, even. & top, this motherfucker here is tap-dancing right on all of his freshly exposed nerves, bringing up the ex & the fact that sand doesn't have anyone when sand thought he had someone but has literally just re-experienced all the pain of the person who was supposed to be his liking someone else more. so fuck it, he's gonna smash his not-that-cheap smartphone, he's gonna play nick who's supposed to be his friend, & he's going to use ray to fuck top like top fucked him. he gives ray the recording, goads him a little about mew & loving friends, figures he's winding him up to go running straight to mew with it & mew will dump top's ass & top, who seems to actually like mew somewhat, enough to go with him to the hospital at least, will finally know what it feels like to have the rug ripped out from under him like sand does. he even gets a side-swipe at boston for making him feel like a total moron, & maybe a little satisfaction from the idea that mew will feel as stupid as he did in that moment & for a lot of the same reasons. low-risk, high-reward, & so seemingly simple. easy, & his hands stay clean, & he gets to feel a little bit better about getting one over ray, playing ray just like ray played him. & if ray figures it out, fuck it, ray doesn't give a shit about sand anyway but maybe he'll like being used about as much as sand did.

except that ray clocks it immediately, before sand even gets to the point, bc after all these years of being friends with boston he does actually know when he's being manipulated. & ray does give a shit about sand, & more importantly he thought (correctly!) that sand gave a shit about him, so not only does he know that he's being used but he's hurt by it. & sand is lacking a lot of context about this friend group & ray's dynamic with mew & also just how fucking damaged ray is. so ray doesn't go running straight to mew, & other things keep happening to wind him up even tighter (i was BEGGING my girls to stop talking at that party, oh my god), & then ray's up on sand's fucking stage & then even worse he's off it, burning it all down, his whole life & every relationship in it. & sand did not intend this, & sand tries to stop this, but ray knows sand used him & ray is so hurt & ray is accusing sand of,, not really wanting to be a musician? except that's not what ray's actually saying here, is it, he's accusing sand of being superficial. of not really loving the things he seemed to care about. except that insult doesn't ring true to anyone except ray, & it turns out that ray is friends with boston & mew for a fucking reason, bc he knows how to hit where it hurts & so he goes for the money, bc that's not what ray's upset at sand for but it is the thing that will make sand feel small, & he goes for the sex bc that mattered to sand & ray could tell.

& so now ray's blown up his entire life & sand's the one who toppled the first domino, which means that sand is the one responsible. for all of this, but especially for ray, who he tried to use & manipulate to catastrophic ends. so he goes after him & tries to talk to him or at least stop him from driving drunk & angry, but ray is so upset, not just with sand but not not with sand, & he cannot hear "i care about you" from someone he knows used him without thinking it a lie so he calls him a whore bc he knows it'll hurt & gets in the car bc in this moment he can't care about anything beyond his own pain. & sand goes after him bc he does care but most of all bc he has to, bc sand set all of this in motion & therefore sand is responsible. & sand will continue to be responsible when the car fucking crashes. & i just. FUCK.

i'm not gonna lie i kinda feel better after writing all that out. anyway. it took me three hours to actually get through this episode & if there's more like it down the line (there definitely is) i am completely fucked.

“and sand will continue to be responsible when the car fucking crashes” NOW WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT WHEN YOU KNOW HOW I FUCKING FEEL.

no but god ALL OF THIS. and it hurts more because to me, everything ray did the the back half of the episode was so him planning to die when he got behind the wheel.

i was talking to antania about this earlier but the scene with mew in the bathroom really and truly felt like a goodbye in so many ways. he was just being more subtle because mew stopped him the last time and there’s a chance he’d stop him again and ray truly doesn’t want to hurt mew.

and then he burned all of his fucking bridges because he realized his friends don’t give a shit about him anyways and the one person he thought did manipulated him too. and that’s another reason he blew up on sand because no amount of evidence he has that sand cares would have stopped him from getting in that car because he’s convinced himself sand doesn’t. that nobody does. that everyone will be better off once he disappears. so he pushes again and tries to burn that bridge more.

and sand has no idea about rays suicide attempt or even how low he truly views himself. like yes he has some idea, and he has some idea about how they treat him, but he doesn’t realize how big it all is, so he couldn’t have had any idea that it would all spiral to ray getting in that car drunk on purpose. but when the car crashes he’ll still be responsible!!!!!!

[tungtung-thanawat]

Boston giving Sand the Reality Check he needed Part 1 of 2: Boston's Reasoning

This is my thoughts on Boston and Ray's fallout, how and why it came about and how Sand did really need it - which I start talking about in this meta - even though despite Boston's insistence his purpose was never to help Sand. I didn't mean to make this two parts but I started writing the Boston portion of the meta and it turned into what it did kajsfhsdkjfh and I needed to approach Sand and Ray's portion a little more seriously. Without further ado, here goes:

[SCENE START] Imagine you are Boston, the son of a politician, loaded with money but not a lot of visibility or acceptance (I mean if you watch enough Thai dramas you know what politician is code for - corruption, deception, selfishness, entitlement). You are extremely entitled, extremely guarded and extremely unscrupulous and this is what you've been taught life is, what successful, powerful people are like and you are successful and powerful even though things have not quite been going your way recently. Even though earlier on in the day you had your first human emotion:

(give the boy a break he is starting to figure out why people have boyfriends okay? much less that he also kind of wants one??? the emotional TOLL he is under oh boy)

and on top of all that suddenly you have been called for emotional support??? Mew is supposed to call Ray this is very much not your job!!! Can Mew's virgin ass please get over one stupid kiss already???

So Mew has called you and he is THE LAST person you ever want to help with THE LAST problem you've ever wanted to help him with. But you squeeze down the sting of rejection, the inferiority you feel from it - are you perhaps?? not as successful and powerful as you thought??? - and you try to be a normal, human person for A SECOND TIME in ONE day (!!!!) and be a good friend

And you did such a good job!!! You didn't play into his insecurities or try to ruin it for him - even though you wanted to!!! - because at the end of the day Mew is your friend and you know how important his virginity is to him. And now you are ready for some MUCH NEEDED REST from all that decent human being cosplay that you've been doing. And there is a cute guy who likes you and he has an apartment where you can go and fuck him and even though the day is ruined there is still chance for the night to recover but uh oh!!!! What's that???

A Situation You Do Not Understand!!!!! Involving the man who fucked up being manipulated so badly that you had to do 5 seconds of emotional labor earlier that day. Now, you have a choice as an adult to mind your business and walk away into that promised room of fucking that cute guy you were going to fuck. But you are also The Son of a Politician and if there is one thing you know it's that information is power and the instinct to meddle like a 70 year old auntie is slowly overtaking your senses. And so you ask a seemingly innocent question with auntie-adjacent straightforwardness:

And your hot mess of a best friend comes up with the shadiest, juiciest answer while his partner is looking at him like his soul is leaving his body:

On top of that there is weed????? In the form of a delicious looking cookie?????? At this point you are on a missive FROM GOD to find out What The Fuck is Going On.

And what the fuck IS going on?????

An absolute bonkers situation is unfolding, Ray somehow in the mess of his life and his unrequited feelings for Mew is living some romcom with the cute bar singer! Ray!!! The alcoholic!!!!! the one friend you could always count on to make you feel better about the mess that is your life. The one friend you will always be superior to - THAT RAY???

And to make matters worse!!! The cute guy you're with Knows Everything. You have been so busy squeezing out three drops of human emotions because you want to keep the Cute Guy You Kind Of Sort Of Might Like around that you forgot to get around to the 'so do you know any gossip' portion of the casual fucking programming.

Not only are you fucking up your duties to the Politicians' Son Upbringing but the dormant auntie inside you gets another whiff of that fat, juicy gossip as Ray pulls a second 'We Are Just Friends' after you JUST witnessed Sand feed him an edible WITH HIS MOUTH

And you're not trying to stir shit - promise!!! - you just want to see your alcoholic friend stutter and get awkward, put in his place a little bit because Mew might have you beat but there's no way that this flaming hot mess has you beat.

Except!!! UH OH!!!! Ray is an idiot! He is so in wanting of love and finding himself undeserving of it that he has genuinely Not Noticed that the man next to him is In Love With Him. He is not you!! - acutely aware of how his cute guy is in love with him - he is Discovering That Sand Likes Him and somehow you have been duped into helping????

Sand's soul is back in his body and they are somehow Being Worse than before. But your Help A Friend Quota is OUT! You have spent IT ALL on Mew earlier and You. Are. Done. Only one person is allowed to cosplay a decent human being tonight and BY GOD it will not be Ray! The only thing left to do is To Bring Out The Gasoline.

And So? You Do.

[END SCENE]

[blorbingqls]

"We accept the love we think we deserve" - seeing this quote in terms of love and control as subjects in Only Friends

With @tomatoland 's brilliant post on TopMew on the above quote here , i think that with 7 eps in, we have understood that love and control are very well linked with ephemerality as a subject.

As i have previously linked epheremality with control here, i would like to talk about how love also makes us lose control with the impermanence of life. This is a long overdue post for 4 eps now.

linking the ephemerality squad here so that you can also share your opinions on this @waitmyturtles @lurkingshan @slayerkitty @respectthepetty @ranchthoughts (anyone else i am missing, pls tag, i really appreciate it)

TopMew

As Tomato (@tomatoland i hope you're okay with that nickname; i really tried to find a name on your blog for you) has referred in their post, Mew left his bubble of insecurities and got his heart broken. Completely legible and correct on his point. Top really loves Mew but now Mew has no reason to believe him anymore. With the play in their power dynamics, both of them loved each other and lost control of the way they wanted the relationship. Yes, if Top and Mew has stuck to their original plans - just reaching to the point of ideality and sex, then, this relationship should have ended after they got their goals. I dont think that sex was a goal for Mew as much as it was for Top, but, we can say it was in the secondary.

But as they fell in love, they, especially Top understood how the love he received from Mew is so much more than he thought he deserves (taking into account his trauma and past experiences). So , even though Mew is projecting his hurt by doing things that literally are asshole-ish as fuck on his accord, Top is willing to let go all of that since even he knows he is in the wrong this time and he is willing to lose all control he has on his life - of fame, money and insecurities in order to have Mew back. Top is willing to be as obsessive as Mew said he would be in a relationship in order to get and accept the love he think he deserves from Mew, even if it won't be good.

But, I also feel, the concept of love as explored in the series so far, not just runs along with TopMew because of the books, but also with all the remaining couples in the show. I won't discuss P'Yo and her partner, CheumApril in this segment, because I want more angles on this from the coming episodes in order to validate my point. But, I'll discuss this point with our other views on the couples: RayMew, TopBoston, SandRay, and BostonNick.

RayMew

Now, RayMew is a pairing that is being enforced on the viewers for the past 3 episodes now and the last episode shows a pretty good view of how as characters, Mew and Ray view each other.

For Ray, his love is unconditional for Mew because it correlates with that fact that Mew was the only reason who made him stay in this world - who made him believe that he deserves the love from his friends, the love which he didn't get from his parents or any potential partners. But potential partners were never in the scene because Mew was Ray's emergency contact. Their relationship runs deep and however much you may think, even if Ray thinks Mew's love for him could be more as a friend, he also believes that because as he is so damn shitty and a fucking burden to society, he can't ask for more from Mew for the sake of their friendship and his esteem. He keeps entertaining the idea of them as partners several times, but, until ep 7, Mew has never entertained the idea that his love for Ray will be any worthy of more than a friend. Because, Mew wants to continue making the boundary and keep the control, according to me.

Now, as Mew has entertained the idea, i am interested how it pans out in the next episode (not very promising tho). just linking this out here because its so fucking interesting.

TopBoston

We will mainly take here Boston's viewpoint since Top gave up on this since the very beginning and became firm with it post ep 3. He gives no flying fucks about the possiblity of it. Top considers Boston to be a one night stand and a one night stand only.

Boston, as has mentioned so many times, considers Top to be top tier; the person who gives him something as close to love because as an Machiavellian prince (refer here) Boston considers Top to be the only worthy competitor in his reign. And he really doesn't care if he hurt others feeling. Mind you, Boston has been the most truthful to himself, maybe not to others. And as a prince, his love speaks volume through keeping them in their reign because ultimately Boston wants power and control in his arena. That's the fucking politics of it. And Top is the only worthy contender who can damage his reign. Hence, he wants the top tier power as much as possible, and only Top can give him that. Him fucking off to America, that can easily happen through Top, because he is a very well known hotel chain owner/manager. So, Boston wants his loves, because he very well thinks he deserves it and he accepts it as much as he can. But, he also knows that for him, he can't make this love into a weakness, because that will be out of his control.

Boston however, as Mew so incredibly pointed out, is gullible. Ray couldn't see through him, but, MEW FUCKING DID. That is why even though Boston didn't consider Mew as his competitor, he was fucking jealous of him because Mew got Top and was chosen over eventually by Top. Mew has the power that Boston didn't think he had, till now. And tbh, Mew is now winning the game, despite his insecurities with his relationship with Top.

THE WAR HAS BEGUN, MY FRIENDS.

SandRay

God, I have so many feeling for these babies. Where to start? Okay so, you know in second episode, Sand built that boundary with Ray regarding friends with benefits? Well, it has backfired on him. COMPLETELY.

As ep 8 preview says, I love how Sand realised the fact that they were never friends to begin with, for even to have made that boundary to make sense. Sand is a pathetic little man, as so many of you have pointed out, but, why is he the way he is?

His incredible nature to be so caring of others around him has made him feel like its his responsibility to take care of everything. His mother, his business, his money and job, his style and even his fucking roommate. Now, Sand is so emotionally attached to this damsel in distress, pathetic burden to society (affectionate) Ray, that even before they became friends, he made Ray his responsibility. Sand has no right to ask for love from Ray, because they are not friends, lest friends with benefits to ask for any care towards himself. But he selfishly asks, for the first time.

Because, as a person who keeps on taking care of others endlessly, it is harder for them to ask for the care and love they expect and deserve from whom they love while keeping their self esteem intact. And for Ray to completely shut him down at that time, and him still following Ray while he was drunk, makes him so much real because you feel responsible for that person. You are their emergency staff, even if they don't consider you to be.

While Ray comes from another perspective itself. He initially wanted to know Sand more as a person, because he is a person who wanted to explore the life beyond what has been given to him. He is a spoilt brat, and when he realised that he can't buy Sand's love, he explored it with him.

But because I think Ray believes that Sand will always be for him, even when he does asshole-ish behaviour (because thats where everyone leaves) he has taken Sand for granted. The backup option. Anything goes wrong with his ideal relationship, he can always go running back to Sand, because Sand has become his addiction.

Apart from drugs and alcohol, Mew and Sand are the only people he can keep coming back to. For Mew, it is only at a cost. At some conditions, only for something personal. While maybe Ray wants explore that possibility with Sand, but he is afraid. He is afraid that Sand will go away. just as Mew did. A person who can only consider him a friend and nothing more. Even if he wants to explore that possibility with both of them, loving them at the same time, he can't make people his priority, because he doesn't know how to do that. Nor does he think he's worthy of it. So, he accepts whatever he thinks he deserves off Sand's love and care.

I am interested to see how it pans out for these idiots once his relationship with Mew falls out. I am concerned for Ray so much. Give him access to therapy and rehab soon pls. Sand and Ray's father I think are going in that direction, with this speculation by @prapaiwife.

BostonNick

Now, our final pair has been the most interesting couple in this show so far. Why do I say that?

Well, for Nick, Boston is one of the top-tier gays. As pointed out by Boston, he likes bad guys. And lets be honest, Boston, most dishonest, cunning bastard out there. So, Nick believes that he will be that gay who lands the top tier dick and fix this problem. Right?

Wrong. Nick very well knows this won't happen. Still he keeps hoping for more as Boston doesn't know how to not be a hypocrite as a prince. He keeps giving some here and there false hope through his actions, not words which makes Nick believe he's special, but he's not. He takes whatever love he thinks Boston gives him, despite him not being his number one, despite Boston cheats on him over and over again. He just wants whatever of love as actions that Boston can give to him because that proves wrong all of his low self esteem. So he accepts whatever he thinks he deserves because he can't ask for more in a bed friend relationship. With Boston's guard so up and his will to leave the country, Nick knows he can't do anything but try to make him stay. Even if that's a 99% chance of not happening. He tries because he doesn't want Boston to hate him. He only wants him to love him. Because for him, thats enough.

The sadness keeps on piling up for these outsider, hard working roommates, doesn't it?

While, for Boston, he is nothing but a rebound from the angst of not getting Top. He wants a serious relationship, and maybe, he does look for it in Nick, maybe not, but he doesn't love Nick. He doesn't love Top either. For Boston, Nick is a toy he wanted to play with.

Because he cares about his reign, his reputation. And, Nick realised that. Hence, Mew contacted him and Nick gave that information to Mew. They will bring Boston down together because Nick somewhere believes he can get him back.

But Nick babygirl, he doesn't love you bub. He doesn't. And, it hurts so much. Because Boston keeps on taking from you, whatever he deserves. And that is your care for him, for granted. He is a leech bub. He is.

Now, how does it all link to ephemerality and control?

Well, love itself is impermanent. It doesn't stay.

The world knows this and still we chase it. And at an age as our characters, we chase love and freedom like anything. In order to gain control. We take up jobs, more courses to learn, experiment with love and relationships, with people because the time is ticking and people say now is the age. We break hearts and get it broken.

As P'Jojo says "This show is Hurt People Hurt People", tell me who hasn't been hurt by love, by control and by living at its time? And also by missing out each of these experiences because you were lonely with your own life and burdens?

We accept the hate and love the life gives us, because this is what we think we deserve out of this. And tbh, these feelings, are never permanent. They keep changing with time, and that's the only thing thats permanent.

Change is the only thing that remains permanent.

[bengiyo]

Only Friends Ep 10 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Sand and Nick did the reasonable thing of taking a loser camping trip and trying to see if they were romantically compatible. After giggling at their lack of chemistry, they cuddled until Ray ruined it! Ray was finally rejected by Mew, was kinda gross about it, and then drove two hours to Sand. Nick let them have the camper and went home. Sand and Ray talked and Sand tried to set a boundary, but they ended up fucking anyway. Top impressed Mew's moms since they didn't think Mew was doing too well. Nick apologized to Boston and tried to move on with his boss. Boston was accosted by Atom and generally just not having a great time. We left at Mew deciding to reconcile with Top after going on an apology tour to everyone except Boston and ending things with Ray, before running into Boeing outside of Top's apartment.

"Redemption"

"You're my top priority." Great pun, translator.

Ray is in deep with alcohol if his hands are shaking without it.

Oh no. Boeing is going to cause problems on purpose.

At work, Dan? Come on, man.

First and Khao look so good in this outdoor scene by the car.

Atom is lying. This is gross. I'm actually getting so mad.

This whole scene with the group turning on Boston is so upsetting. He's promiscuous, but he has been the victim of blackmailing in recent memory and not the perpetrator.

Mew and Top with these games, I swear. It was fun to see Top get pushed into a pool.

Well, I can appreciate Ray not actually forcing Sand to confront his dad.

I don't think Mew likes that Boeing might be smarter than him.

Interesting, Boston arrives to talk to Nick right after Nick confirms his interest in Dan.

Okay, I like Boston using a photo of Nick on his phone and a subtextual conversation to approach Nick again.

I really hope Ray gets help in this program.

Boeing is causing problems on purpose!

Well, Ray is drinking again, and now he knows his dad hired Sand to look after him.

Ray is so quick to call Sand a whore.

Classic: a First character is crying about a problem he caused.

Oh, baby boy. Please don't throw glass all over the place.

Drama in the wakeboard showers redux.

This Nick and Boston scene is incredible. Love the nasty4nasty boys recognizing something unique between them.

Of course Sand was there to return the money, but now I'm even more annoyed about him throwing his own product away.

Lot of Khaotung crying this episode. I hope he actually says this to Sand later.

Boeing is going after Sand next week? He's so busy!

I hate Atom so much. Reminder that Gay Panic Defense is still legal in most US states. I know Boston has done some pretty fucked up things this season, but I am so mad at Atom. I get why his friends wouldn't believe him and why Cheum feels the need to protect her brother. Still, Atom is awful and I will not be splitting hairs about him.

It's been an interesting episode of seeing all of the couples getting back together but with some big issues. Mew wants to get back with Top, but Boeing is confusing the issue. Ray wants to get back with Sand, but his alcoholism gets in the way. Boston wants to get back with Nick, but his destructive tendencies get in the way, and now Nick has a competing suitor.

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 3

Man Jojo, Ninew, Ninepinta and Vivienne know exactly how to build a mess because this was OUTSTANDING. Here's how the pimps and hoes are stacking up this week.

🔺1. Boston (3)

Damn! Tilly Birds should write a song about you.

THIS NASTY SHITBAG MOTHERFUCKER YAAASSSSSS KWEEEEN! Boston spent the entire episode mansplaining, manipulating and manwhoring and considering that is what this whole show is even about he fucking wins the week! Stringing Nick along, spewing poison into Top's and Ray's ears, fucking Top nasty in a classic automobile...I don't care what any of you say, he's the winner.

🔻2. Ray (1)

Don’t define it. Just enjoy your life. You said you could differentiate between love and lust.

This dizzy bitch. This messy mess-ass hoe. Playing with everybody's feelings because he can never face up to his own and just fucking deal with his shit. Everybody is correctly fed up of his bullshit, including Sand and Sand LITERALLY JUST MET HIM. Sand telling him to save his money for a shrink was the best advice any character has ever given any other character on any show anywhere.

🔺3. Nick (5)

Can friends with benefits turn into lovers?

Well the boy is dumb but he's not dumb if you know what I mean. Boston is screwing with his head and he knows it, but he just can't help himself cuz dick2bomb. They say you should never actually get your crush, and this is why. Nick being a sneaky surveillance spy bitch is the main reason Boston should've never messed with him, because now he's gonna go NSA on his ass. He wants that man and he will have him, whatever it takes.

🔹4. Sand (4)

If you want a boyfriend, get yourself a boyfriend. Don't mess with me.

SAND YOU KNOW BETTER! YOU KNOW THIS MAN IS A MESS! AND YET YOU ARE STILL FALLING FOR HIS CHARM. Sand giggling and twirling his hair with Ray in the car was...it was embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for you sir. Sack the fuck up. Like when you threw Top the middle finger, more of that. Also, what the fuck happened between those two TELL ME JOJO!

⭐5. Yo

Sweet as sugar, hard as ice. Hurt me once, I'll kill you twice. Haven’t you heard?

We have our first sighting of Yo in the rankings! Homegirl clearly has all her shit together: a thriving business, a hot and devoted younger man, and a house full of kids who stay drinking her dranks and eating her food because they can't get their shit together. And she looks like a bag of money THE ENTIRE TIME, just FLAWLESS. More of her please.

🔺6. Top (7)

♪ I’m a villain, no matter how much I love you, I must die eventually ♪

So he totally planted that guy at the silent disco right? Seemed like a weird play to push Mew along. Because at 3 months, the game's probably gotten a bit boring, especially if Mew's not even giving him the occasional sniff at it to keep him on the hook. Top likes a challenge and he sorta likes Mew, but if Mew really did screw Ray, maybe he's not so interested anymore. To be clear: I absolutely do not think Top is jealous, more like the shine wears off Mew for him if Mew has succumbed before. I still don't trust a thing coming out of this man's mouth, but the way he worked Boston OUT in that car is worth at least a one-rank jump.

🔻7. Mew (2)

-Are you drunk and taking advantage of me? -Don’t you like it though?

Mew is this week's biggest loser, falling the furthest from last week as his shtick starts wearing thin. Mew's overplayed his hand a bit here: his testing of Top has gone on too long. He doesn't even dispute Top calling him his boyfriend even as he insists they're not dating yet. He was totally about to give it up after the party because I think he realised he had gone from a challenge to a bore, but he waited too late, Boston had a chance to get into everybody's head and now it's all fucked. When he finally sleeps with Top next week it's not a victory for him, it's a capitulation. Also, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WITH HIM AND RAY I NEED TO KNOW LIKE RIGHT NOW I CAN'T WAIT A WHOLE WEEK!

🔻8. Cheum/April (6)

Guys, I think I’m gonna throw a pool party.

Poor Cheum, the only person to remember they are in fact trying to run a fucking business and actually working at the pool party rather than causing and/or engaging in drama, and April right by her side just helping her woman out because her so-called friends are a dumpster fire. As usual, the lesbians gotta be the ones getting shit done.

[respectthepetty]

I still feel bad for Top.

And . . . I think he is the only sane one of the group.

Mew - When Top slept with Boston again, no matter how much Top wanted to be Mew's boyfriend, Mew had Top down in the "just talking" stage, so he didn't cheat. Boston even pointed this out. Also, Mew wasn't upset that he has sex, but instead he was upset that it was with Boston.

Boston - Top always has to fight off Boston or give in to him and even he told Boston in the elevator that he is tired of fighting off Boston while Boston told Ray he is just greedy for Top.

Nick - He recorded both Boston and Top having sex, then told Top to leave Boston alone (the audacity). Top even warned Nick that Boston was trash pero Nicolas no le importa.

Sand - Top has tried to let the past stay in the past both times he has encountered Sand in the wild, but Sand has gone left both times and Top has matched his energy. He even tried to get Sand to call a truce, but instead, Sand stole the sex tape off of Nick's phone and gave it to Ray.

Ray - Top knows Ray is in love with Mew, which is partially the reason that Ray hates Top, but I don't know if Ray didn't spill the beans about the sex tape at the party in front of everyone because Mew already knew or because Ray has some level of ethics that these other people lack. Either way, this is why he is my #1.

Chueam - This is a me thing, but homegirl is really strange about Top. She always talks about him being top-tier TO HIS FACE and mentioned Mew losing his virginity to a top-tier guy one too many times for my liking.

YET NONE OF THIS IS EVEN ABOUT TOP!

Top is not seen as a person to any of these people and is a pawn in Boston and Mew's weird competition with each other. We done been knowing this isn't about Top.

This is about Top being the prize trophy in this toxic ass friendship!

Mew doesn't like Top. He likes the idea of Top. Because instead of making the sex about Top, Mew makes it about Boston.

Mew and Boston are two sides of the same damn coin!

Look at Top's face with both of them. He can't wrap his brain around the mental gymnastics these two are doing in order to make everything about each other. Which is why they have continued to use Top as a prop in their Toxic Ass Friends Olympics.

Then, insert Nick and Sand.

Nick is so obsessed with Boston that he Jolene-ed Top which is humorous since Top doesn't understand why anyone would openly want Boston. And Sand is so obsessed with avenging his broken heart (which is ironic that he told Ray to focus on him instead of Mew, yet this shit all went down because Sand was so focused on his EX CHEATING ON HIM that he dragged Ray into his plot for revenge!) that he won't let the past stay dead and buried, but instead decides to walk it around like a pet zombie.

Ray, even though he is in love with Mew, is the only one who got this right.

Top isn't a prize.

He isn't a cheater.

He isn't just a body for sex.

He isn't the villain.

He isn't a pawn.

He isn't a Jolene.

He is an asshole.

Surrounded by a bunch of fucking dicks.

And they all want a piece of him.

[justme-1723]

RANDOM ONLY FRIENDS THEORIES/THOUGHTS

- Sand will get tired of Ray’s shenanigans/not coming first in his life and take a step back. I think this might be where this mystery character comes into play (*the one he has a love scene with). Sand is my favorite character by a long shot and I just know he’s going to do something that disappoints me… I’m dreading it because I will call him out even though I love him dearly. Part of me thinks his lack of empathy/straight shooter attitude will get him into trouble. Sometimes he is TOO honest. On the flip side, I also think he feels things very deeply and this will not bode well because Ray is an addict. His heart will shatter. Not excited at all.

- Ray WILL absolutely lose his damn mind if he finds out about Sand sleeping with someone else (*maybe I’m wrong, but he just seems like the jealous type lol) I think he will push Sand away because falling in love with someone who has the capacity to love him back will terrify him. I think he will spend most of the series trying to convince himself and others that he doesn’t have REAL feelings for Sand. Poor babe. It’s okay Ray, I love you anyway. I do think he will be sober/starting his journey to sobriety by the finale too. I can’t wait for this part!

- I think we are missing some very vital information about Boston. I’m not sure what it could be… but I’m so worried about him. I know that may seem silly… sue me. He just gives me “I’m actually so fucking miserable and I hate myself uwu” vibes. Could be very wrong though lol. There is clear tension between him & Mew and I think there is a reason for that. One that might surprise us. Mew has made some shady comments about Boston & Boston doesn’t hold back when he talks about Mew to Top.

- Nick has no idea what healthy boundaries are. From the beginning, he has completely disregarded Boston’s right to privacy. Yes he’s cute and yes he’s young, but he has crossed every line imaginable (almost) and they aren’t even in a committed relationship. Boston isn’t obligated to be faithful. He doesn’t owe Nick any information about his sex life outside of their arrangement. Sigh. I think it will only get worse from here though… Revenge porn??… I hope not… I also think Nick just wants to be loved.

- Mew. There is something about Mew that I can’t quite wrap my head around. I was VERY surprised that he chose to use sex as a bargaining tool. It seemed very out of character for him. I love that he called Ray out for kissing him without his permission. It needed to be addressed and Mew handled it flawlessly. Which again, is why I was so shocked by his choices at the end of this latest episode… Ray calls him out yet again before he leaves, “Is Top really the kind of boyfriend you want?” This is the second time Ray has said something like this. Is Mew trying to prove something? Does it bother him that Ray of all people, the person he has very clearly said isn’t the type of boyfriend he wants, is the person pointing out that Top isn’t a good option either?

- Top is so complex. They all are really, but Top has so many layers and he isn’t as easy to read. (In my opinion) This ex is definitely important to him. I think he has some scars from that relationship. I also think there is some sort of hidden trauma that hasn’t been shared with us yet. His relationship with sex is all over the place. I can’t even begin to dissect that.

I have so many other thoughts swirling around in my brain, but they get so jumbled up lol. This probably makes no sense either, so have fun reading my nonsense. Or don’t. That’s cool too.

[heretherebedork]

So. Let's talk about virginity, sex, the pressure to both have sex and not have sex and what it means and what it doesn't mean and what desirability can mean to people.

Now, the first note on this is that this is gonna come from (my best version of) a tempered Western perspective. I am full on American and I do not know the details or in and outs of Thailand's relationship with virginity versus sex, particularly in the queer landscape. I, frankly, barely know that in Western terms. So this analysis is just me doing my best to use what the show has given me in order to discuss the idea of Mew's virginity in the series, why it matters to so many people and why it is honestly shaping a lot of the conflicts in this series.

Because literally the first scene we from the entire friend group is Boston claiming he was trying to help Mew get sex and Mew exasperatedly asking him to stop caring about that.

But it's obvious that everyone cares. And we see that again and again. Everyone seems to care that Mew is a virgin and wants that to change for him more than Mew himself down. And this is just... often, frankly, true. There is no one more bothered by someone else's virginity than someone who doesn't have theirs.

It's Boston who calls him a sweet virgin as a deterrent while To takes it as a challenge but the focus is still on that virginity and the mean of that virginity. That it means he won't be a know it all or pushy and he won't be 'like the others' (in this case like Boston) and that Top wants that as a change of pace.

But Boston is sitting right there talking to someone he fucked and hearing that from him is not what he wants to hear. Boston is very pleased to be a slut and I actually think that Top basically saying 'you're boring because you have lots of sex' is the worst insult Boston can hear and might have really started a lot of his upset we see between him and Top.

It's because Top took a part of their identity that they share, part of the reason that Boston pulled him into the group in the first place, and turned it into an insult.

And that goes back to virginity versus promiscuity that adds weight. Top is interested in Mew because he's a virgin, he's sweet, he's not going to be fierce, he's not going to be like Boston who is fierce and knows what he wants and is exceedingly comfortable with his own sexuality and specifically sex.

Because as we see, Mew is also comfortable with his sexuality. He just expresses it differently than Boston and Top do. And that's also just so important to me. Honestly,

Mew owns his sexuality and his virginity. He is not set on changing anything until he knows it is exactly what he wants and doesn't want. Top said he was going to be sweet and, frankly, he turned out just as fierce just in a different way.

(The comparison to Boston, though, the instant connection between the friends and how much they are going to hurt each other because they are constantly being compared by the world and by themselves because they have placed importance on these things and just Oh Man. The weight of Mew's virginity on everyone else and how Boston sleeps with everyone but discourages Top from going after Mew too seriously and how Ray's sex habit is obviously part of his own struggles with feeling like a burden while Boston seems to just like sex and how there's absolutely nothing wrong with any of these approaches in their own way... Ray might be fucked up but it's not because he's fucking.)

A change of pace can be something welcome you never expected and that's why Top is going to be destroyed by Mew. Because Mew, and his virginity, represent something new to him. Something different. Something he doesn't know how to handle or how to see.

I think that a big part of Boston's issue here is feeling like he is being judged based on Mew's virginity and Top's interest in that. Boston craves the feeling of desirability and thrives off it (as we've seen and continue to see) and having Top, someone he has fucked and enjoyed, express that a virgin is more desirable than he is was a blow to him and his ego and his comfort and his own view of himself.

Because when virginity is upheld rather than just something to lose (which is all Boston wants it to be, something that Mew loses) it becomes a virtue rather than something to be changed.

Yes, Top still wants to sleep with Mew. But suddenly he's looking for more.

Boston's relationship with Mew's virginity is fascinating to me. Because he is truly obsessed with Mew losing it but also with this idea that it can't be a good thing. Boston is so focused on Mew losing his virginity that when faced with the idea that Top is interested in more... he loses it a bit. Boston values himself for being sexually desirable and desired. He wants to fuck and be fucked. And to be told that Top, who is supposed to be liked him, wants something different?

It's a threat.

Boston is trying to act like he knows Top better than Top knows himself and he is pushing this idea because his own identity is deeply wrapped in casual sex for the sake of casual sex and not being interested in dating and seeing Top not just express interested in Mew specifically because he's a virgin but then to also start talking about dating him? That is a direct threat to that part of how Boston values himself, of how Boston finds his own worth.

If being good at sex is less desirable than being a virgin than what happens to Boston? If the people having the same casual sex as him are starting to think about dating, what does that say about him when he isn't?

Top is doing what he's doing because he wants to do it but, to Boston, it is a judgement against him.

I am actually very interested in this because while it is at least partially jealousy, I think there's more to this.

It's about virginity and promiscuity and how both get judged depending on who's judging and what matters to that person and Boston is suddenly seeing himself being judged in a place where he's always been comfortable.

Boston's safe and comfortable place is this club and the people he sleeps with and Top's interest in Mew is a blow not just to his ego but also a sudden change to his own self-image. He is not the desirable one despite the fact that he has shaped himself to be desirable.

Okay, I don't even know where this went.

But anyway I love how the show gave us a virgin who knows exactly what he wants (which ain't it yet) and different aspects to relying on your sexuality and I didn't talk about Ray much in this because he didn't have a lot to say directly about Mew's virginity or Top's desire of it which was my focus but Ray is using sex as an alternative to therapy and it ain't working out so hot so far for him but that's just another story.

... Anyway. Only Friends is definitely interesting and I am absolutely wondering where it goes from here because I can already see how much Boston will hurt Nick because a relationship just absolutely is not even on his radar at this point and, in fact, is entirely off his radar because it goes against all the aspects of himself he currently finds value in.

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

in celebration of the finale: my top 3 moments from each only friends character so far

we did top and mew, next: BOSTON

*top moments here means moments that had me screaming and pointing at my laptop like the leo meme*

5. bitchmode activated

obsessed with this moment. like hes watching his kinda mentally fucked up friend get more mentally fucked up and decides NOW is the time to call him a burden. iconic, the perfect way to hurt rays feelings in this moment too. and the way hes smiling while hes plotting it... so iconic this moment happened in episode 1 part 1 but has stuck with me ever since

4. *bitchy shrug*

again, just iconic. this whole scene actually, but this moment was just incredible. the journey boston takes after ray reveals he knows about bostontop is its own thing, and this being a turning point from defense to offense was great. like boston being willing to try to reason with ray, the only other member of the friendgroup who appears to be into casual sex, only to get slutshamed and dehumanized in return, taking a split second before turning the tables on ray, incredible. no one can hurt ray quite like boston and its fascinating each time. ray shows up mad at boston for being a bad friend and leaves crying and believing hes the bad friend instead, and all set off by that little shrug? perfect.

3. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?

one thing i love about boston is him being clear he isn't into relationships. like he doesnt pretend to be just to fuck people before dumping them, he is upfront about what he wants out of an interaction and still gets painted as the bad guy. so i LOVE this moment cause honeslty? free my man from people falling in love with him. "i never asked you to love me" such a banger line to say. the frustration over what i assume is years of having his words not believed or disregarded by guys hes slept with, years of slutshaming, you let it out babe.

2. fucking top

controversial i know but who else couldve done this???? like you can argue about how to label this action but one thing you cannot disagree with was that it was iconic. like one thing about boston, he will never be boring and thats why its a top character moment for me. it happens 1/4 of the way through the show and is only starting to be resolved as we get to the finale. absolute boss move. also seeing all the ways he tries to justify it, from it being just bad timing, to "i was just borrowing him" fucking amazing.

having nick as his background

again this is a list of moments that made me scream cry shake etc and this moment.... sorry to my neighbors but this had me entering a new dimension of noise. like portraits are his art, his self expression, the way our boy who doesnt like leaving traces of his own life captures a moment in someone elses forever, but this one imo is as much a reflection of nick as it is of boston. like nick is the only subject but boston is all over that image to me and the way it hangs in his darkroom and is then removed only to come back as the lockscreen. the way this is revealed in the scene where boston comes back to nick after making it clear he wants nothing to do with nick, nick means nothing to him, was never going to mean anything AND YET. im not gonna go on cause much better spoken bostonnick enthusiasts already have but fuck man, i love this picture. i love that is was his lockscreen on his broken but salvagable phone. top moment fr.

[cornyonmains]

The absolute tragedy baked into Boston's character is that I think there's some part of him that likes Nick. That has feelings for him. If the translations are right, some of the word choices Boston uses to describe Nick, like lovely, are these little slivers of honesty between the lies. They're also words he never uses to describe Top. The terms he uses are less personal like 'top tier' or 'the best' or 'the hottest'. They're all descriptions oriented around how Top is seen by others. So much of Boston's attraction to him is steeped in the ego of not being able to take rejection, and not a real interpersonal attraction.

I also think another thing at play here, beyond Boston's jealousy of Top's feelings for Mew, is Mew's value in the friend group and in society. Mew's the top student, the bookworm, the virgin. Boston has probably had jealousy festering for years. Ray's in love with Mew. And while Top was initially enchanted by the idea of Mew's virginity, this grew to Top really liking just being with someone who didn't attach any strings to companionship, who wanted an actual connection, but of course Boston still sees it as Top chasing after Mew's virginity. Prizing the lack of the one quality Boston completely defines his value with.

Boston is going to be at the core of every conflict between the characters. He's going to exploit every weakness.

He planted the fear in Mew that Top was playing him, knowing Mew would test Top's resolve. And Top, whom is looking more and more exhausted every episode, who probably hasn't been sleeping well because he quit partying, quit seeking out companionship to prove himself to Mew did have some right to feel yanked along. Not enough to cheat, but Boston's manipulations probably coincided with Top really going through it with his insomnia, as he had stopped sleeping around.

Meanwhile Ray, who clearly likes Sand the most, whom at this point seems to be holding onto a fading crush, but still gives a fuck about his friend, is being spurred into thinking he needs to protect Mew, which is really going to fuck things up with Sand.

Boston is the fucking tumor in this group. They're all trying to grow up and lead normal lives with stable relationships, and Boston's there pitting himself against everyone.

All the characters are flawed, but none of them act with the same level of malevolence as Boston. That foreshadowing with the song Mew and Top were dancing to, it struck me as a sad song, about someone being perceived as the bad guy, but not necessarily being so. It was tinged with an underlying theme about perceptions. And I think that's important here, because when you look at our two gaypex predators, Top and Boston, they go about things quite differently.

It's clear from dialogue Top is very up front with his one night stands. Honest, always, about his intentions. This certainly seems to be the case with Boston. But Boston is a manipulator, he makes false promises, strings people along, says whatever he needs to to get what he wants.

If Top does end up having to be the bad guy, if someone does end up dying this season, I'd say this episode foreshadowed Top being the one to do it, and that that person is likely going to be Boston. Top's made some bad choices, but he's very much falling victim to obsessive stalking behavior. To being preyed upon by Boston. And I think it speaks to the themes that BL has created that people aren't picking this up, because I think the reason they're not picking this up is because he's "the Top". The more traditionally masculine part of the fucked up binary BL creates. They're not used to perceiving these characters as vulnerable to this kind of behavior, because tropes never allow for that in BL.

Anyways, so ends my rant. The moral of the story is I really, really don't like Boston.