#but he knows he’ll never get him so he does shit like this and relishes in the little intimacy he gets with him

[boywifesammy]

little sammy rubbing up against dean in the early morning, rutting his morning wood against his leg.

dean tells sam the day after that he’s too old to sleep in the same bed as him but sam refuses. every time it happens sammy makes little noises, wraps up around dean like a koala and talks about how much he needs dean. that it hurts and he needs dean to make it better just so dean will touch him even though he’s perfectly capable of doing it himself.

and of course every time dean shushes him and rubs him slowly through his briefs until he cums, because he’s gotta take care of his little bro ∩^ω^∩

[cinnbar-bun]

Pony (Various SBR x Reader)

Characters: Diego Brando, Johnny Joestar, Mountain Tim, Gyro Zeppeli (separate)

Prompt: "My saddle's waitin' / Come and jump on it."

Summary: How ya'll get down and dirty together with your fave cowboys.

Rating: NSFW THERE IS NOTHING BUT SMUT HERE

Notes: Reader is GN!, no body parts mentioned for reader, implied to be during the SBR, no spoilers for Part 7, just pure smut hcs.

Word Count: ~2.3k

You can read on my AO3 here!

Taglist (if you'd like to be added, please fill out the form in my pinned): @bruabbina @adeadcreator

Diego Brando 

The type to suggest a casual arrangement before he gets seriously involved with you. He says it’s just to relieve some stress during the race but before you know it, he wants you closer. 

Tries to present himself as a dominating and forceful top, and that’s probably how many of your sessions will go at first. He refuses to give up power easily and especially not in a presumed ‘casual’ mutually beneficial arrangement. 

In reality he can be quite the switch, something that will be explored the more you two get intimate. He relishes power struggles, and will goad you into trying to dominate him further or putting you deeper in your place. 

A talker, Diego will almost never shut up. Whether it’s praising how your body squeezes him, degrading you smugly, coaxing you to ‘tame’ him, or begging for some pleasure- his mouth will be running. 

He makes such beautiful noises <3 

Prefers to have sex in more secluded areas, preferably your tents late at night. But if pushed to it, he will not be opposed to just taking you in an alley or in the woods out in the open. 

“Since you acted so wanton earlier, it shouldn’t be an issue for you, should it? Now stop whining.” 

He loves when suck him off while he’s sitting or standing. It makes him feel like a king. He’ll give you plenty of praise or condescending compliments while you do so. 

His fingers are amazing. Calloused from holding the reins for so many years, but experienced at the best ways to give you pleasure. 

Diego tends to admit his true feelings or get more possessive during sex. A lot of “mine” or “for me” and “I love you’s” are thrown out while he’s going at it (or you’re going at him). 

Occasionally cannot hold back how feral he feels because of Scary Monsters. He will be rutting and grinding into you and telling you he needs you now. 

Probably one of the few occasions he will not be talking beyond mindless grunts, groans, and growls. 

Does like roleplay, not really anything elaborate (especially not during the race when time is limited), but he does like indulging in specific ‘roles’ for you both. He tends to like being called ‘master’ or ‘sir’ or even ‘my lord’. Don’t worry, he’s happy to do the same for you if you want it (sigh can you imagine him calling you master/mistress I’m-). 

Has no preference for where he finishes, because he truthfully wants to cover himself all over you, whether you swallow, giving you a facial, or inside- he’s raring to go again to finish on a different spot and exert his place with you. 

If under the influence of Scary Monsters, though, he will tend to want to finish inside you. 

His aftercare is pretty crappy at first, especially when it’s meant to be ‘casual’, because he thinks he’s such hot shit that you should be grateful you even got to sleep with him. But as he gets closer to you, he will either grumble and tell you you’re so dirty while cleaning you, or just silently help you then hold you close. 

He can be very clingy after sex, making him hold you close and bury his face into your shoulder/chest so he can inhale your scent and regain himself.

Johnny Joestar 

Type to get caught trying to ‘relieve’ himself and weakly ask for your help. And really, how could you resist that flustered face?

Johnny isn’t inexperienced, absolutely not, but he hasn’t slept with another since his time as a pompous jockey who had people throwing themselves onto him left and right. The guilt and his injury left him rather rusty and self-conscious about his performance. 

You’re gonna have to do a lot of the heavy lifting with him, but Johnny proves himself to be an eager lover. 

Lots of foreplay between the two of you, with Johnny having a preference for face-sitting. He also will incorporate some of the Spin with you to act as a ‘vibrator’ of sorts to pleasure you more. 

Self-conscious at first but slowly grows more comfortable and confident as you two continue together, making him relax. While at first he tries to stay silent or apologizes/mumbles under his breath a lot, he’ll slowly begin to crack some jokes and be more vocal. 

This is when you’ll see Johnny shine more. He’ll offer more creative suggestions and kinks for the both of you to try out. He’s wonderful at adapting on the fly if he finds you enjoying/disliking something. 

Besides his stated fetish for bug bites (which will seriously get him going if he sees you with some), he just really loves your ass. He straight up cannot get enough of it, and will be grabbing and holding it whenever he can. 

Continuing with that logic, he loves reverse cowgirl because he loves seeing your ass bounce against him. 

Johnny’s dirty talk tends to consist of him throwing expletives and saying what he feels. He’s not too good with roleplay because after a while the pleasure crashes his brain and he just starts talking mindlessly. 

“Ah, shit, you feel so good… fuck, keep going.” 

He can be a teasing bastard when he really feels like it. Often, he’ll employ the Spin on you, then pull it away just before you finish. He can get pretty cheeky, but that’s just how you know how comfortable he is with you. 

His neck and collarbone are some of his more sensitive spots, and if you focus your attention there, he loses his mind. Leave him some hickeys and tug on his hair, and he’s positively gone. He will complain about the marks later, but secretly admire them and be happy he’s got them from you. 

He likes finishing on your ass. Second favorite thing would be to have you swallow, but he finds it pretty attractive if some of it spills out of your lips. 

His aftercare is good and he’ll do his best to care and comfort you. But majority of the time he’s just spent and exhausted and wants to snuggle with you. He gets rather soft and whispers a lot while you two bask in the afterglow. 

Mountain Tim 

The type of man to want to be romantically involved with you and take it slow, before he can’t contain himself and has to have you. 

Tim is a gentleman, he really is. For a bounty hunter, the man takes great care to try and woo you and behave properly around you. Because, truthfully, this man is a romantic deep down. 

He’ll never try and let his desires get the best of him for fear of taking advantage of you, so you’ll have to initiate. And the minute you initiate, he’s all for it and will jump at the opportunity. 

A giving lover- so giving that the both of you, on occasion, were spent with only the foreplay. 

He’s passionate. His actions can be overwhelming in the bedroom, but you can practically feel the love dripping out of him. He goes nuts for you. 

Obviously, bondage is most likely occurring. His stand gives him a multitude of ways to tie you up and tease you with his body. He will take advantage of his powers to bring you the utmost pleasure. 

However, his favorite kinks include cockwarming and overstimulation. He would love to be inside you forever if he could, and he often likes to tease you by having you sit on him for a while before he moves. 

As for overstimulation… he’s gonna make you cum over and over. He always praises you for finishing and will try to urge another orgasm out of you. He loves seeing your face and hearing your breathless moans and whimpers. 

“That’s it darling… that’s it. You’re doing so good for me… you can give me another one, can’t you? I know you can, darlin’. Just let me take care of you.”

Heavy on the praise. He’s never mean or degrading, because he loves you too damn much to do that. At worst he’d do some condescending praise, but majority of the time it is pure praise for how amazing you are and how good you feel. 

While he can lean into some sub/dom dynamics with you, often sex is just an outlet for the both of you to express your affection and love. 

He is often a service top for you, but leans more towards dom. That doesn’t mean he won’t sub for you, he absolutely will if you desire it. He’d love nothing more than to see you riding him. 

He prefers positions where he can see your face. Tim will coo for you to look into his eyes and shake his head when you try and cover your face or look away. He just loves seeing your facial expressions. 

Reverse cowgirl is a good treat once in a while for him, too. He loves being able to smack your ass and praise how you’re riding him. 

Likes to finish inside. He believes it’s more proof that the two of you are bound together. 

His aftercare is amazing. Probably the best guy around at it. Course, he’ll be a bit of a flirt and tease, but he always care for you just as any good cowboy should. 

Gyro Zeppeli 

Also the type to suggest a casual sexual relationship with you before he falls for you. 

If you were to look up “wild” in the dictionary, you’d find Gyro’s picture right next to it because this man is an absolute loose cannon in the bedroom. Or tent. Or woods. Or alley. Or body of water. Or wherever the hell you two decide to have sex. 

Gyro isn’t ashamed of his desires and will seek you out pretty often. 

He’s experimental in bed. He is experienced from his many sexual escapades back then, but since the race, he’s been steady with you and likes trying whatever new wacky whim crosses through his mind. 

His surgical and anatomical knowledge combined with his teasing nature makes him a menace. He knows almost every nerve and muscle on your body and how to manipulate it for your pleasure. Not to mention, his control over the Spin will have him working your body in overtime. 

Gyro likes to tease you during inopportune times by using the Spin on you to act as a vibrator and get you excited, but he’ll act like nothing is going on around the others and make you wait. He’ll eventually have the two of you secluded and “take care” of the problem he caused, all while having that shit-eating grin on his face as he tells you you’re getting too desperate. 

This man is getting goofy and silly with you during sex. Expect some bad puns or jokes while he’s ramming your insides. 

An unfair and rough lover who gets pleasure from hearing your voice. He will never want you to be quiet, and he makes it his mission to have you screaming by the end of it. He might chide you and call you out for being too loud, but honestly he doesn’t care if everyone else is hearing it. He just loves how your voice sounds. 

Roleplay is common between the two of you. Sometimes it’s ‘prisoner x jailer/executioner’, ‘surgeon x patient’, or ‘royal x dutiful, loyal executioner who is totally gonna be rewarded for being an awesome partner today in the race, right?’ 

Gyro surprisingly can stay in character and he will play his roles very well for you. He gets pretty into them when he wants to. 

Likes doggy style a lot. Whether for you or him, he just wants someone being on all fours and their ass being grabbed. 

Switch, leaning more towards top/dom. But he finds it hot if you take charge of him and put him in his place (and he’ll serve you like no other, baby). Will call you whatever you want him to call you, no questions asked. 

Occasionally drops some Italian in the middle of banging you. This was especially prevalent when he started falling for you and would loudly proclaim “ti amo” over and over without addressing it in English. 

Despite his playful attitude both in the bedroom and out, he can get pretty serious and emotional with you. Sometimes the rough horseplay just doesn’t cut it, and he’ll lay back and thrust slowly into you while gripping your hips to help you ride him. He’ll talk less in these moments and just enjoy hearing both of your gasps and quiet moans. 

Doesn’t have a specific preference on where to finish. He just does it wherever he feels. He commonly does it on your back or stomach, depending on the position. 

His aftercare is wonderful. Yeah, he can be a joker sometimes but the afterglow with you is nice and can get pretty romantic. He’ll glide his hands over you gently and trace over the marks he may have left on you or just to feel your skin underneath his fingers. He’ll clean you up and have you both rest. He did reveal he could relieve some of the soreness from your body with the Spin, so occasionally he’ll do it (admittedly, he does like seeing you limp or wobble after a tryst with him). 

It’s where Gyro will be at his most tender with you, where he will cradle you and look at you with eyes full of love and desire for you. He speaks quietly in these moments and likes to ramble about nothing with you. And when he pulls a small laugh out of you, he thinks he could just die on the spot and be content.

[notjustjavierpena]

50 NSFW-QUESTIONS FOR HUBBY!

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

Some time ago, I asked @rivnedell if I could use her 50 questions for everyone's favorite husband Javier. She was so sweet and encouraging, so I got right to them.

These are (funnily enough) +18, so beware and MDNI.

1. Biggest Turn-On?

When you show how much you want him because of how much you love him. He goes crazy when you take initiative to sex, play a little dirty and touch him up when it’s inappropriate because you just cannot help yourself. It’s nice to see that he isn’t the only one who is crazy about the other. 

2. Biggest Turn-off?

He doesn’t like for you to play stupid, girly or young. He is most turned on by your confidence, maturity and the fact that you’re a strong woman who gave birth to his children. Sure, he likes the occasional daddy/papí but only if you’re mommy/mamí.

3. Quickest way to get horny?

Whisper in his ear what you want to do to him or what you want him to do to you. He’ll walk around half-hard the rest of the day and then absolutely ravish you when he gets the chance. 

4. Top 3 places to be touched?

Face, neck and chest. He loves your gentle hands caressing him slowly until he is completely under your spell. He’ll never get enough attention, able to both get hot for you or fall soundly asleep. 

5. Does he like the idea of a threesome or a moresome?

Javier probably has had a threesome in his life but he likes giving all his attention to a single partner. After meeting you, he would never dream of needing a third party in the bedroom. 

6. Sex or Masturbation?

Sex. Javier likes the connection he has with another person. However, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like masturbating and letting his mind drift to what he’d like to do to you. 

7. Spit or Swallow?

He won’t lie. Swallow. Unless, of course, you make a show to drool with it, letting it drip down your chin. 

8. Rough or Romantic sex?

Why can’t rough sex be romantic? He’ll tell you he loves you while you’re arching your back and saying fucked-out nonsense because of how deeply he reaches inside of you. 

9. Loud or quiet partners?

Loud, holy shit. He wants to hear how good he is making you feel, wants to make you scream until there are noise complaints. 

10. How much foreplay?

He likes to wring out a few orgasms from you before you get down to business but with a house full of kids, he’ll take what he can get in the moments you have to yourselves. If you are alone, he loves getting you hot and bothered so you’re dripping wet and begging when he slides into your heat. 

11. How much teasing does he like?

Javier doesn’t like to tease you, is usually too impatient to do it, but he relishes in getting teased by you. Stolen glances, dirty whispers, bending over to show off what he cannot have yet. He’ll feel lightheaded, worked up like a dog who isn’t allowed his treat yet. 

12. Hook ups or only partners?

Hook ups are a thing of the past. Now it’s only you. 

13. How much kissing during sex?

If he can reach your mouth, he’ll kiss you breathless. Otherwise, he’ll have his mouth on your skin as much as possible. It’s his way of cherishing you, letting you know he just can’t get enough of every square inch of you.

14. Favorite place to have sex?

Javier actually really likes having sex in the kitchen or the bathroom because he can flip you around and shove you down onto the counters. However, some of the best sex he has had has been in a bed even if it’s less adventurous. 

15. Would he have sex in public?

To some extent. He likes the idea of getting caught but he wouldn’t actually have sex with you if there were others around. On an abandoned street, in a field, in a locked public bathroom is very much something but it would take something special to make him lose it where people could actually see. Like that one time in the taxi, remember?

16. Last place he had sex?

In your bedroom, doors locked and all the kids in their beds like usual. One hand over your mouth to keep you from waking up everyone and your brows furrowed as he slowly drove his cock in and out of you. 

17. Where would he most like to have sex?

On a child-free holiday. Non-stop and all over the hotel room.

18. Spontaneous sex or does he need to be in the mood?

There is not lots of spontaneous sex when you have kids but he tries to find moments during every day chores where he can take care of you quickly. He is never not in the mood for you; one wink and he’s ready to go. 

19. Would he go for a hookup at a stranger's house?

Sure. He’s done it a million times when he was young and single. 

20. Biggest kink?

Javier saw you and instantly, his breeding kink came out of its hiding. He won’t accept coming anywhere else but in the warmth of your ripe cunt. That and calling you any version of mom, e.g. pretty mamá, mommy, mamacita? He is done for. You’re the mother of his children and that is so fucking hot. Can we make one more, mamá? We can handle another baby… Please let me come inside.

21. Is he ok with name-calling?

No. He doesn’t like calling you vulgar things. 

22. Would he do BDSM?

He’d try something more extreme if you like but the harshest thing he’s done to you is give your throat a squeeze or two. 

23. Would he prefer to tie you up or be tied up?

There’s something in both things that he likes but being the one getting teased by you is his favorite. If he had to tie you up, it would be to keep your legs spread open for him so you can’t get away. 

24. Does he like orgasm denial?

He doesn’t use it as punishment or even just to be mean. Instead, he uses it to make you absolutely shatter when he finally lets you have it and you know this, know that he’d never leave you unsatisfied because you get a little cuckoo if you don’t orgasm. This goes both ways. 

25. Does he like overstimulation?

He doesn’t like it much on himself but if he has a chance to see you twitching and crying from being touched too much, he’ll take it. He knows how much you like it too. 

26. Does he like pain being involved?

He likes when you grab him, squeeze him, smack him, bite him but no more than that. He does, however, love spanking you. 

27. Does he like dirty talk?

Fuck yeah, the man has got a mouth on him. He likes whispering things in your ear or talking as he hovers above you, telling you how good you feel around his cock and how gorgeous you are as you moan and groan, right up until he lets you know you’re about to make him come.

28. Does he own sex toys? How many?

Javier owns a cockring but not much else. Do handcuffs count? 

29. What does he masturbate to?

Whatever floats around in his brain. Sometimes it’s just to release some tension and he’ll think of nothing. Other times, it’s because you have done something to get him worked up and he’ll imagine you with your hands or mouth wrapped around his cock. He will admit that he’s thought about stupid porn scenarios too. 

30. Multiple rounds or will he settle for one orgasm?

If you have time, he’ll send the kids off to his Pop’s and fuck you six ways till Sunday. Once is never enough and he’ll stock up on electrolyte-drinks and pre-workout protein bars to go all night and day.

31. Does he enjoy giving oral?

He could spend hours between your legs if he had the time. It’s his favorite way to get you soaked and ready for him. God, when your thighs twitch and your voice cracks as you gush all over his face, he knows heaven is a place on Earth.

32. Does he prefer giving or receiving oral?

He has no preference.

33. What makes him orgasm the fastest?

You begging for another baby whilst crying from your own orgasm. He can never hold back when he knows that you want him to finish, especially inside. 

34. Does he like/do anal/pegging?

Pegging? No. Anal? He’s allowed on special occasions.

35. Favorite position?

Anything where he gets to be close to you, his nose in your neck and feeling your groans vibrate underneath his lips as he molds you with his cock. Some intense missionary has him seeing stars but fuck, he loves lying down right behind you to cage you in the one arm that stretches across your tits.

36. Does he use protection?

Yes. In his youth, he did have condoms lying around. However, he used to have a lot of unprotected sex back in Colombia which he has been scolded for by you but he was often drunk, sad, angry or scatterbrained by the strain that was on him. Does he use protection with you? No, not really anymore. He’ll probably set money aside for a vasectomy when you’ve had the twins. 

37. Does he masturbate with clothes on?

Clothes or no clothes is not really a big deal for him. However, he mostly jerks off in the shower, so without? 

38. How does he prefer your hair/grooming?

However you want. 

39. What does he wear to bed?

Just his boxers. He’d like to wear nothing but it doesn’t work with kids jumping into bed on a Saturday morning. 

40. What does he like you to wear?

Javier doesn’t like to dictate but if he had to choose, he’d like you to wear something that accentuates your waist and ass. It makes him want to grab onto your hips. You in a sundress and he’ll bend you over the nearest surface to put a baby in you. In terms of wearing something to bed, he’ll go insane if he sees you in those cute little sleep shorts or panties and one of his own t-shirts. 

41. Does he like his balls played with?

Yes! You better have a hand cupping them as you suck him off. 

42. What is his sexuality?

Javier considers himself straight but there have been a few instances of too much alcohol, an eager guy and a messy hookup in his car. 

43. Does he have any extreme or unusual kinks?

I would not say anything extreme or unusual, no, but Javier does have an intense lactation kink and it makes him come so fast to see you drip with milk. Go on, let him have a sip. 

44. How often does he masturbate?

He’s okay with once in the shower. Just to take off some pressure in the morning.  

45. Favorite toy?

Javier cannot remember the last thing that impressed him as much as using the rose toy on you. 

46. Does he like roleplay?

To some extent but mostly, he just loves getting down and dirty with his wife.

47. Any fetishes?

Like I said: GIVE THAT MAN A GODDAMN SIP!!

48. Aftercare?

Obviously! He’ll get the warm flannel or carry you to the bathroom, kiss you for a long time and caress your used body. You okay, baby? Wasn’t too hard on you? 

49. Does he ever go commando?

Very rarely. It happened more often in his youth.

50. Phone sex?

He’s not going to say no to that but he isn’t much of a texter, so it better be a call so he can hear your tiny cries for him. 

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If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

[luvrxbunny]

mini blurbs 2 ─ ★ joel miller x f! reader

a/n: ngl. some of these are blurb sized blurbs but i was just too lazy to give them their own post 😇

wc: 992

warnings: 18+ MDNI, cum in pants, voyerism(?), dry humping, piv, blowjob

-> dbf!joel who gets invited to the family bbq/pool party only to lose his shit the second he sees you. he ends up (uncharacteristically) being the first person in the pool because there’s no other way to hide how hard he is.

you eventually feel bad, watching him float around the empty pool, and decide to join him.

so he has to touch himself while you’re talking to him. you’re so beautiful in the sunlight, your skin basically glowing. you’re just slightly sweating, letting joel’s imagination conjure up insane scenarios.

to top it all off, you start touching him. you notice his silence along with his sweaty and red face. you assume it’s the heat, pressing the back of your hand to his forehead then his cheek, and commenting on how hot he feels.

his hips repeatedly jerk towards you as he cums into the netting of his shorts. trying to keep his voice steady as he lets you know that he is perfectly fine.

-> dbf!joel who is disgustingly depraved. like he lurks around your room at night, sometimes just standing out in the hall to hear you moving around in there. you catch him spraying your perfume on his shirts on multiple occasions.

you don't technically know what he does with the shirts but you know that when your dad has him in the guest room, he thinks the walls are a lot thicker than they are.

-> finally convincing joel to send you a full body video of him cumming and he shocks you to your core when it’s just a video of him sitting back, full body in frame, his thick hairy thighs and huge arms grabbing your attention instantly. he’s looking directly at the camera as his cock bobs between his thighs, twitching and leaking everywhere for the camera before tensing up and spurting across his chest. joel’s head flies backwards as a deep groan rattles from his chest as he paints it white. he comes down with slow chants of “oh baby-” and "fuck, sweetheart." before going silent, just huffing into the air.

when he looks back down at the camera you can see a blush over his cheeks as he reaches for it. you can tell he's looking at himself not the camera when he gives you a “hope that was alright.” and a soft, timid smile before it ends

you respond with “come over right now.”

-> trying to give joel a blowjob for the first time. he's basically bouncing in his seat as you get on your knees. you take your time unzipping his pants, smiling at the way he moans at everything you do. his breathing picks up once you reach for the band of his breifs, his hands coming to the side of his chair, gripping so hard that his knuckles almost turn white. you take a moment to take in his state, all disheveled despite the fact that you've done nothing but undress him.

he rewards you with a desperate, breathy "i'll do anything".

his hips are fucking into the air as he keeps his eyes trained on the ceiling. you concede, wrapping your hand around his dick and shocking a moan out of him. you finally lean forward to place your lips on his tip, licking at his slit softly, relishing in his salty taste. he sucks in a sharp breath and never exhales.

you pull off of him to giggle at his reaction, maybe lick up his shaft. but the second you come off, his hips pump into the air, humping his dick against your cheek before cumming all over your face.

he groans like he got kicked in the chest, completely out of breath and so gravelly you know his voice will be scratchy afterward.

“mmm fuck. m’sorry. m’ so so sorry, love. s- so good.”

-> joel who wraps his arms around you so tightly that they shake when he cums. no matter what position. he’ll either rearrange the both of you so he can wrap you up or he’ll figure out a way in the position you’re in.

if he’s fucking you in doggy then he’ll lean down and wrap one arm around you. to make up for the missing arm, he’ll rant about how much he loves you in your ear.

his favorite position to have you in is spooning. first, because it's convenient. second, because he can wrap both his arms around you and pull you against his body as tightly as he wants.

sometimes he'll lock you in place and flip onto his back, planting his heels into the bed before beginning his relentless pace into your crying cunt.

-> in a van for a supply run with joel, tommy, maria and some other unknown characters. maria and tommy are upfront with the goons taking up the middle seats. you had to beg joel for this but you guys are in a cuddling position. joel sitting with his back to window, one leg straight and the other planted on the floor. you're sitting between his legs, leaning back against him but sitting straight enough to just turn your head if you want to kiss him.

but the road is more worn down than either of you expected. you try to act like you haven't only been focused on the hot bulge digging into your back every time the van bumps over a rock but once you feel the hot mass begin to harden and expand, you realize you're not the only one struggling with those thoughts.

with some more begging, a lot of neck kisses, gentle caressing, and soft, desperate words to joel. you're now in the same position but bent at the waist, giving him perfect access to your perky ass.

he's having way more fun than he'd care to admit but you can feel it. he was cautious at first, stopping anytime someone said something he thought might draw attention to the back, or even when the van got too silent. but know he's going at you. he's bringing your hips back directly on his cock like he's fucking you.

and he has no problem draping himself over your back to lean in your ear so you can hear him cumming in his pants for you

[greytongue]

hi! the gum fic?? that was so cute, i loved it!! definitely haven’t read it multiple times now.

honestly, really missing the more flirty, snarky leon from the original re4. absolute menace. my ever-growing brainrot for this man has been fed. thank you so much. 🙏

ok, ok. hear me out—i imagine og re4 leon would be the kind of boyfriend who thrives on flustering his s/o. so much teasing. he can’t help it, you’re just so cute when you blush. makes him happy. he’d probably do shit like cup your cheek, leaning in real close so you can feel the warmth of his breath. half-lidded eyes, slow breathing, you’re weaving a hand through his hair. you lean in. and then he pulls away, acts like nothing happened, just because he knows it drives you crazy.

no pressure, of course! just wanted to share an idea i had. so sorry if this is too much, i am down astronomically bad.

an: thank you so much for the suggestion! no problem at all, my friend. anything relating to leon is a job for me, indeed. sorry this took me forever, i’ve been deathly sick haha. this is also all over the place, so forgive me. fever delusions haha

cw: no smut, but suggestive stuff. kissy mwah mwah stuff, leon likes to make you nervous

original re4 leon headcanons.

-

~•if you’re shorter than him, it will never end for you.

•if he’s standing beside you, he’ll use your shoulder as an armrest. he won’t disrespect you by using your head lol.

•will give you a bunch of nicknames. aka, “short-stuff/shortcake”, “lil’ bit”, “pipsqueak”, the list goes on.

~•loves getting near you/in your space, (as long as he knows you don’t mind it).

•if he needs your attention, he’ll place a hand on your shoulder or back, his thumb mindlessly rubs up and down on the fabric of your shirt.

•even if you’re just talking to each other, he’ll take an extra step forward so you’re that much closer. he likes seeing your eyes falter away from his when he does that.

•if you’re showing him something on your computer or phone, he’ll lean on close beside you. if it’s on the computer, he’ll place a hand on the back of your chair, the other on the desk conveniently close to where your (small in comparison) hand rests on the mouse.

he’ll nod encouragingly, humming close to your ear as you try to get the words out right. he’s just so close.

•he’s also known to kabedon. be on the look out for that if you’re leaning against a wall

~•will kiss you anywhere but where you want him to. he’s always asking,

“where do you want me, sweet thing?”

you’re squirming as you gesture to where you want him to kiss. maybe it’s your neck, your thighs, your lips.

•and he always acts like he’ll do your bidding. he positions himself and leans down, pausing as he moves the fabric of your clothing covering it previously. you exhale shakily as you feel the warmth of his breathe fan across the area of your sensitive skin and right as you think you’ll feel the press of his velvety smooth lips, all he does is ghost over the area and moves somewhere else.

•“leon..” he thoroughly relishes the groan of frustration you let out and he’s slowly making his way back up to you,

“all you gotta do is ask nicely, baby.”

~•teases you with acting like he’s gonna kiss you.

he’ll get all close, your breaths are mingling, his hands are on you, he might even have you against a wall. your heartbeat is picking up as he’s leaning in-

but all he does is nip at your bottom lip.

•you open your eyes and look up in disbelief, he’s sniggering and beginning to turn away, but you make quick work of him.

you grab his arm, tugging him close back to you by the collar, and feverishly capturing his lips in yours. he’s gasping into it and you’re growling in satisfaction.

•the force of your pull has him stumbling into you, accidentally pushing you back against the wall, his hand quickly splaying on the wall by your head to balance himself. his body shudders as you run a hand down his chest.

~•leon’s not scared of pda. he’s interested in you and he’s not afraid for people to know. not afraid for his hands to wander down to your waist, to hug you from behind. to let that innocent, quick peck to your temple to turn into licks and sucks at the curvature of your ear, down to nip at your jugular.

•“leon..!” you’re whining, reaching behind you to grab onto him, get his attention.

he’s humming low into your shoulder as you continue,

“there’s- hah.. there’s people nearby, please…” your eyes are squinting shut as his hands pull you flush against his back.

“mmm, if you say so.” he gives a long lick from where your shoulder meets your neck, to where it meets your jaw. it has you shivering, letting out a mindless moan as your head falls back-

and suddenly he’s gone, leaving you to struggle to come back to reality. you’re panting while you lean against the closest thing near you to support yourself on.

~•whoever gets home last, the other liked to help them unwind. help them undress, put them to bed.

•if it’s you he’s assisting, he takes his time removing your clothes. you’ll both be on the bed, he’s behind you encouraging your shirt off and once the fabric is gone he appreciates the skin of your back. his sizable hands massage at your tense shoulders, the space between your shoulder blades are gifted a series of kisses that make you shiver.

•leon always enjoys himself too much, either way. he makes a show out of it when you’re helping him.

•you’re busy unlacing his shoes, he’ll be leaning back on the bed he’s sat on, pulling his shirt over his head as he arches his back, stretching out his spine with a groan, the abdominal muscles poking through his pale skin contract with the stretch, his chest heaving with a satisfied sigh, your eyes glazing over the view you get of his throat and defined jawline with his head tilted back.

•you blink for the first time in a bit when he rolls his head back to front. you clear your throat as you finally get his shoes off, but he’s sliding a sock clad foot behind you and pulling you forward into his pelvis.

•you let out a soft ‘oof’ sound as you make contact with him, your hands splaying out on his hips as he speaks,

“enjoying the view?”

“obviously.” you scoff.

-

that’s all folks, stay tuned. <3

[jmdbjk]

JK Welive #1-2 & JK/Tae IG live

People sure have their panties in a knot over Jimin and Jungkook and Tae and shipping and JK's live, and Bam, and a J tattooed on a finger and just... damn people. You act like your life depends on this shit. 

To keep track of what we’re talking about let’s organize it like this: JK welive #1, JK/Tae IG live, JK welive #2, JM welive, JK welive #3, JK welive #4 (taken down, yet to see if it will be put back up). That’s a lot of maknae line to unpack. 

But bottomline: Jungkook is mostly at home nesting with Bam. Leave him alone. Y’all keep making me say that. INTROVERTS UNITE!

Boy arrived for Welive #1 wired and ready to defy the employee manual that says no live broadcasts without permission. 

Jungkook was a little solemn when someone asked about Jin in the comments. “Jin is doing ok.” and “Jin sometimes sends us a message in group chat.” JK didn’t seem like he wanted to elaborate on it.

He wonders why he thinks of Army when he’s drinking... man is crying in his beer over us!

Within 20 minutes he was all wound down. His sweet eyelids started getting droopy while he read Army comments. 

Then he got second wind and started searching for something to sing for us... finds Vibe, drools over Jimin for a sec, gives Taeyang some badass love, starts to sing the song before he even gets the lyrics up on the screen... knows the choreo of course... 

Rumor confirmed: Bam is the luckiest dog in the universe. Jeon Jungkook wipes his butt after he poops. Who else in this world can say that? Who?

Besides the Bam butt wiping TMI, Jungkook also said he emptied his freezer so he could keep his (8) frozen beer mugs in there ready for action. And also (10) smaller glasses... maybe pilsner glasses? 400ml is not a small glass. 18 large servings of adult beverages. Priorities.

TMI: JK sings while he pees.

Kookie philosophy: if a rock doesn’t get rained on, it will crack and break. So another round of beers please. Gotta stay hydrated according to Kookie.

He attributes his being able to sit in the dark in his house with Bam and drink beer and literally breathe, to Army. Thanks to Army. You are welcome, baby!

Jungkook also says if you don’t have these three things, get out of here:

Gotta admit, I was stressing for a minute over the remark that he’s stopped working on his album... but Jungkookie says he’s kind of into this living like a rock for now. He’s not feeling pressured or overly anxious to be working or trying to make himself work. How he said what he said implies maybe he is really relishing this “doing what he wants at age 25...” Good for him. He deserves to slack for a while. 

At about 1 hour and 13 minutes in he pulls J-Hope’s “More” up on the noraebang screen and begins to rock out. I LOVED THAT!   Then he realized Namjoon was in the comments and thanked him for being his savior. And y’all didn’t tell me he sang Daechwita!!!! ONE OF MY FAVORITES!!!! Even though he substituted Suchwita in the lyrics hahahahahaha. He also praised Taehyung on changing up his singing style as it became sweeter. Good job! AWWWW.

And he got me laughing out loud when someone commented for him to stop drinking, it’s not healthy... he says, if his body stays healthy it wonders what it’s supposed to do and it stops doing its job so he introduces unhealthy components (like beer) for it to wake up and fight inside and that’s how he’ll become healthy... HAHAHAHAHAHAA, oh Kookie. Don’t tell people that! they will believe it! Armys are gullible! 

What he really meant with that explanation is: “don’t lecture me.”

Bless his neighbors... who surely can hear him singing through the walls at 4:00 a.m. ...

Jungkook gave us the long awaited tattoo explanations. Honestly, does anyone think NO ONE has EVER asked him what the tattoos mean? Do you think he’s NEVER had to explain to anyone? EVER? What exactly would anyone expect him to say about certain ones? He also didn’t speak about covering the tiger with the black sun... he says when he first got them, he didn’t put much thought into it so maybe the tiger was one of those things and he covered it up with something that had more meaning. An eclipsed sun. And he got the eye because he wanted to be mindful of his actions because he’s always being watched... he says this right after saying he got tattoos thoughtlessly, LOL! He doesn’t like the moon on his shoulder and intends to get it covered someday. It’s okay, the sun is eclipsing because of the moon inside his elbow. 

I’m sad to hear he had a bad tattoo experience here in the States.

ALL of the complex tattoo meanings that have been floating around have ALWAYS been fan speculation. 

And, Tattoo Proof Anon, I deleted your ask because nothing has been debunked. Don’t you have a life or something you should be paying attention to instead of parking on blogs waiting for your “gotcha” moment that’s never gonna arrive?

A nod to Polyc’s incredible talent:

HAHAHAHAHAHA Tae comes into the comments and JK is like, “hold on Taehyung, I’m talking about something sincere...” Bro don’t interrupt me, I’m talking to Army about something serious.

Switch to Instagram...

Then, for the first time in the history of Bangtan, two members do a simultaneous Instagram Live... 

The IG live... was short... JK seems tentative about doing the live in Instagram... man was all “don’t tell me what to do” while on Weverse but  Instagram has him questioning his morals. Tae smiles big when he sees Bam, apparently having not seen him in a while. Tae makes a little snarky “if it makes money comment” about it and then after playing with the Instagram filters and remarking that Weverse needs to make a zoom feature so they can all be on at the same time because two is not enough, Tae said “I gotta sleep, peace out.” Later, bro.

Back to Weverse...

Welive #2: Jungkook mentions he is going to detox for five days... and then eat something yummy. That lasted less than 24 hours as we’ll see in his #3 Welive.

He mostly is singing his heart out in between telling Armys not to lecture him.

Y’all didnt tell me he (half) sang Despacito!

Someone already put a clip of his Welive he just did singing Dreamers on YouTube:

I thought for sure he passed out on us.

And he finally calls it a night after the sun rises... sweet (stubborn) thing.

I’m choosing (right now) not to be concerned with Jungkook’s stoppage on working. However, I reserve the right to change my mind should more information become available.

JM’s Welive, JK #3 Welive and #4 (if they put it back up), to come after the Weverse translations are provided. 

[ariondevereux]

Okayyy, Nikka, this is completely your fault. I’m now down a rabbit hole with your ocs and their pairings, and I have way too many cute Instagram reels saved so what better to than headcanon! (feel free to reject every single one of these haha)

(https://www.instagram.com/tv/CfCxgBWAunj/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=) <- okayy, so this for Blaze x Kirsten. So, context for the video is that the the two started off as friends, then realised that they could have feelings for each other, and they finally have a chat about it and say that they’ll see where it goes, and he teases that ‘when their fist bumps turn to kisses’, and she gets all cute and flustered. I know you said that for Kirsten, Blaze was ‘crush at first sight’, so I thought it’d be super cute if Blaze is all teasey about their feelings when he most certainly has feelings for Kirsten.

(https://www.instagram.com/reel/Ci2u_g0Jz-P/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=) <- this one for Blaze x Kirsten because Blaze loves travelling, and if he ever visited a location he knew Kirsten loved too he’d totally do this trend every year. On the topic of travelling and airports, if Kirsten ever had to travel for some ‘mayor’s daughter’ event thingy and Blaze didn’t go with her, guaranteed Blaze would be there waiting for her at the airport and I’d imagine that it’d be a cute run, jump, hug, pick her up and spin meet where they whisper that they missed each other — even if there was a full moon the night before, Blaze would be there.

(https://www.instagram.com/reel/CSzSQLelQLO/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=) <- for Asher x Loren because it’s stuff like this that A does to show their love. I totally imagine him stopping Loren and glancing down at her shoelace and just tying it, and gently tapping her thigh when he’s done.

(https://www.instagram.com/reel/CS7TIRbDMZE/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=) <- Kaidan and Lira because the boy is whipped!!

You can’t even get me started on Maya and Phoenix that’s a whole other can of fun worms… that I’ll probably send at some point this weekend :)

Gosh, I’ve word vomited everywhere, I hope this all actually sends and doesn’t look at all weird.

GOD OK mental breakdown under the cut because i don’t wanna clog the dash

THE FIRST REEL IM CRYING LIKE FORGET KIRSTEN. THAT SHIT WOULD WORK ON ME!!!!!!

no cause blaze WOULD tease her about her crush. kirsten is literally the fucking worst at hiding it. like she thinks she’s being subtle about stealing glances at him but he Knows and he never not uses it to his advantage. like that “uhuh” (god bless him) i imagine him doing that to see how she would react because she would’ve never EVER seen it coming. blaze always tries to sneak in an attempt at flirting when she least expects it and he relishes in her reactions. like she starts stuttering and she can’t look him in the eye and pls it’s the cutest but most chaotic thing ever 😭😭 pre-relationship blaze x kirsten is like that high school crush that’s wholesome and sweet but can also give you brain damage ugh that’s the good shit

AND THE SECOND ONE YESNEHJSJ please imagine them doing it at the place they made their relationship official. SOBS the photographer in kirsten would love that so much and i imagine her having a separate photo album for all her pictures on trips with blaze where she also took TONS of candid photos of him 🥹 kirsten is a soft lover. despite growing up surrounded by the most expensive things she’s always been a huge sucker for sentimentality so i can just imagine her buying one of those glass to glass picture frames where she inserts a candid photo of blaze with a sweet little note written at the back and surprises him with it <3 AND THE AIRPORT THING SHUT UP I WISH THAT WERE ME :(((( if it was the full moon the night before, blaze better be ready for nurse kirsten because she WILL check on him and make sure he’s okay. he’ll probably be like “kirs, you’re the one who just got off a long flight-” “shhhh are you sure you’re fine?” 😭😭😭

I totally imagine him stopping Loren and glancing down at her shoelace and just tying it, and gently tapping her thigh when he’s done.

UM??????? HELLO???????? PLEASE IMAGINING ASHER LIKE THIS IM GONNA CRY THATS SO CUTE HES SO CUTE listen i almost feel bad for giving him loren because loren is a fucking clown 😭😭 this could go two ways: loren would thank him and give him a quick peck on his jaw like a normal person OR if circus hours are open, she’d sneakily take a picture of him and send it to the group chat with: “i got him boys. i made the demigod kneel” like this bitch just won’t give him a break. but please she would be sooooo smitten :((((

THE WAY OUR BRAINS CONNECT WHEN IT COMES TO KAIDAN AND LIRA BECAUSE THAT IS SO THEM 😭😭😭 pls it literally makes my heart go whoosh just thinking about k appearing dominant and carefree then you break down their walls and peel all their layers and suddenly they’re the babiest ever UGH SECRET SOFTIES ARE EVERYTHING TO ME

and god… phoenix and maya.. ever since i wrote that whole list of hcs i haven’t stopped thinking about them. i just know your hcs are gonna murder me

[punkscowardschampions]

Bimmy & JJ

Bobby: [just got far too much time after school to be sat here stewing waiting for Jimothy to get home, me like I hope you washed up your tea mugs or we’ll be SUSPICIOUS honey]

Jimmy: [what a fun mood he’ll be in, having to wait because I’m sure Jimothy doesn’t get home til like 6 or even 6.30 sometimes, I’m also sure that whilst he carried the mugs and her sandwich plate into the kitchen he did not in fact wash them up so unless y’all have a dishwasher he could’ve just quickly shoved them in, which I’m pretty sure we’ve said before they don’t, they will be there]

Bobby: [the drama sis, who else are you going to be having ‘round when Libi is also at school so you know she hasn’t been able to sneak in, poor boy just here freaking out and lowkey looking through all your things like what do we need to take, what can we leave, like you’re gonna flit off tonight]

Jimmy: [you defs should’ve washed up but that just goes to prove how distracted y’all were, cos yeah, has not even occurred to him that Bobby will even notice never mind that he’s fully packing his bags rn, soz boy]

Bobby: [someone was a little too busy lmao, not that that’s crossed our mind, we assume she just came to tell you this terrible news in person so you’ll be fully on board and ready to go when you get home, assuming y’all track each other’s phones so he’s already checked you are at work/on your way home and haven’t gone to kms after this meeting]

Jimmy: [come find him whatever room he is in when you finally do stroll in, under the premise of asking him what he wants for tea so you can sit him down and talk about the pub move and Libi’s bday and the dog and all the things, just there like ? because not expecting the scene he walks in on as he announces himself with the lights on and off move]

Bobby: [when you’re so hyped up but not in a fun way at all, just a LOT of energy lmao ‘when did she come over?’ immediately, no hello here lol]

Jimmy: [a look like that’s like calm down, in a genuinely concerned way obvs not a pisstakey one, because whoa now this is a lot ‘lunchtime’ steering over to somewhere with a hand on his shoulder to sit down ‘we needed to talk’ looking at him cos clearly can’t wait until dinner is ready and on the table as was his initial plan ‘we do an’ all’ me just writing this like he’d say it even though tis signed so we’re not getting that northern-ness across lol, let me live]

Bobby: [‘I already know, Libi told me’ dismissively but in a no we don’t way ‘cos I’m already on the level and up to date don’t worry, sitting wherever but under duress because we’d rather be pacing frankly]

Jimmy: [‘go on, what did she say?’ because wanna hear it from him and thus be able to gauge what he’s feeling more so than the info he does or doesn’t know, cos he’s sure you do have the full jc move goss, boy, but it’s not the knowing that’s as important as how upset you are about it and wtf you think you’re doing packing lol]

Bobby: [‘that she got them kicked out and they have to go live over the pub, so everyone’s gonna find out’ like um hello but also looking at him sympathetically ‘cos it’s you that got the dirty did on you, not us]

Jimmy: [managing not to wince, sigh or squeeze his eyes shut at how blunt that was because tis true tbf, and as much as you don’t relish everybody chatting about it, it’s more for Bobby and Libi’s sake than his, we know that, cos they have to go to school and deal whereas he isn’t an angsty teen anymore and had to deal with peeps chatting worse shit about his dad murdering his mum etc when he was, so, from his POV not nice but also not up there at the top of his priorities re this marriage breakdown in the slightest, so a nod like alright, that’s out of the way, onto the next thing, making a deliberate meal of looking around the room so he can’t miss it ‘and what’s all this?’]

Bobby: [just watching him not react which is as much of a reaction as if you just had, sorry to say, picking up your feet in your seat dramatically because you wanna kick something like for fuck’s sake but you aren’t going to so just fold them up underneath you instead ‘there’s no reason to stay here no more and now all the reason to go, we should before it gets bad’]

Jimmy: [‘mate, here’s our home’ cos it is and jj both know running away doesn’t solve anything actually, as much as they had doing it as teens ‘all the people we’re bothered about and who are bothered about us are here, our family is’ because soz but Libi and Janis and Casey are still your fam and baby Jac also exists ‘we can’t just piss off somewhere else and cross our fingers they’ll be alright on their own, or pretend it’ll solve owt for us two going off however far down the road, it don’t work like that’]

Bobby: [idk if you can laugh, maybe it would just sound odd, no offence, or if it’s just the facial expression of but either way, doing that like you what ‘they’ve all fucked off first, there’s no one but us left, we don’t need to stay here and get humiliated ‘cos of them, what for?’]

Jimmy: [shaking his head but he is nothing if not patient, so sitting down near to him without being right in his grill about it ‘they’ve not, she’s been here today, we were chatting only a bit ago’ like tis simply not true, I’m soz ‘and we’ve said we’ll try and be proper mates, have a better go at this than we have been, that’s what for, for all of us, you and Libi are included right in with it’]

Bobby: [‘and who’s idea was that?’ like I know it weren’t yours ‘you can’t be mates with her, it’s fucked she would even ask you to do that after what she’s done’ because we think this is gross and terrible]

Jimmy: [‘mine’ because it was, he said he wanted to be ‘you know I’ve not been doing well with how things have gone before now, I need to do something different, try to, why I asked her and she’s said she will do, it’s for my sake more than hers, but you heard, it’s for all of ours’]

Bobby: [doing the same thing where you try not to react as you did earlier because we really pity you right now and think you are being played because of your emotions but we know you won’t appreciate that so we’re basically just grimacing like … anyway lmao ‘I’m proposing something different, a total fresh start, that’s just going back to how it was’ like come on]

Jimmy: [‘it’ll be nowt like it were’ using the depression to his advantage to really suppress how heartbreaking that is as a concept to him rn because not trying to break or shut down here in this moment by sending himself on a thought spiral of the way things used to be or are now ‘it can’t be, but we’ve gotta stay here, I ain’t able to chuck you no sort of fresh start on my own at the minute, just us keeping on, that’d be how it got bad’ not him acknowledging to Bobby, a little bit, how mentally ill he is, oh progress]

Bobby: [‘nah, it won’t, but she’ll string you along like she did Case the entire time because that’s what she does’ getting up to your feet ‘cos you got points to make ‘it’s not about me, it’s about you, because if you don’t cut yourself free then you’re gonna get worse and worse and she’ll do fuck all about it like she can’t see it’]

Jimmy: [SUCH a look like DON’T that he cannot stop himself from throwing out because Janis defense squad 5ever ‘if it’s about me, listen to me, she proper helped us earlier when I badly were in need of, I get you don’t trust us, and you’re right to not, but we’ve had a word about where to go and what’ll help us more from here on, it ain’t owt to do with different geography’]

Bobby: [just staring at you exasperatedly, shaking our head like what are you on about ‘I don’t trust her and neither should you, you know, as she cheated on you with your own brother’]

Jimmy: [a DEEP breath ‘yeah, and that won’t go away, no matter how long we spend in the car looking for a new postcode’]

Bobby: [‘you wouldn’t have to think about it every day, risk seeing either of them, hear people talking about it, see all their fucking family all the pissing time’ slapping the back of one of your hands on the other after every point as punctuation and emphasis ‘we’d have each other, you don’t need to be scared’]

Jimmy: [‘there’s sod all that’ll stop us thinking about it every day’ letting that sigh out he didn’t before because of how true and heavy he knows that is until he starts to sort his head out ‘might be what the doctors chuck at me’ll do something, but-’ a pause, to look at him and for emphasis ‘I still have to see her, and I want to’] 

Bobby: [have obviously been signing animatedly this entire time, so slowing it down and being a bit calmer about it ‘you’re just brainwashed, you don’t have to do anything, you’d be better if you didn’t’]

Jimmy: [‘I have to get my head sorted so I can be about for her and Libi as much as to do a better job of it than I have with you, not instead of’ when you have not mentioned the baby because I firmly believe you have never to him, even though he knows about it via Libi]

Bobby: [shaking our head again ‘no, you don’t, you don’t owe them anything, it’s their fault, not yours’ putting a supportive arm on his shoulder for a sec before you have to talk again ‘you need to think about yourself’]

Jimmy: [‘I am doing, it is my fault, and I couldn’t live with myself if this is how things stay, never mind them getting no worse’ doing a fam style feelsy lean because always ‘for none of us, I love the bones of the lot of you’] 

Bobby: [pushing away from it ‘that is a mental thing to say, you got cucked, Jesus, Jim!’ walking off into another room for a second because we can’t deal with you right now but also you’re deaf so that shuts down all conversation unless he follows you and you don’t think he will so you’re coming back in]

Jimmy: [‘I am a bit mental’ when he comes back in, doing the 🤏 to try and make it slightly bants because again, how true and heavy that is with regards to the long slow trek of trying to get better is so much ‘I left her first, I’ll not be doing nowt like that again’]

Bobby: [‘she’s not coming back, she wants everyone to know now’ shrugging ‘and someone else wouldn’t make you feel mental for any of this, they’re the sick ones’]

Jimmy: [‘I’m not hanging about for her on the off chance, I meant what I said, I’ve a life here, my job, mates-’ a pause while he corrects that to ‘a really top mate’ cos shoutout to Pete, that icon ‘so have you’ after another pause like shoutout to Libi too, remember her, boy]

Bobby: [when we really don’t believe you and we’ve literally crossed our arms whilst you’re talking like I won’t be adding to this, almost turning away but only half as if you’re half listening]

Jimmy: [‘things started to go wrong ages ago, I should’ve cracked on with putting them right then’ like a * for what he said about them being the sick ones as if he just realised he didn’t address that]

Bobby: [‘not your fault they’re fucked in the head, always have been’ me like oop and you reap what you sow by acting like Casey was an unfixable and unredeemable nightmare]

Jimmy: [‘it is, I never gave neither of them what I should’ve, instead I let them both down, ‘course they’d stick together for it’]

Bobby: [rolling your eyes like oh please ‘there’s no point staying here, leave out pretending there is’]

Jimmy: [‘there is, and you know it as well as I do, pissing off and pretending you can be chuffed and never look back is what there’s no point to’]

Bobby: [‘leave me out of your sad attempt at playing happy families with them, I’m not interested’ before turning the TV on and throwing yourself on the nearest empty sofa to sprawl out]

Jimmy: [give him some time, go make a tea for you both and leave his within reach when it’s ready but have yours in the kitchen so that again you’re not in his grill cos much to process]

Bobby: [we’ll just be here in a vegetative disassociated state not processing and instead watching mindless television, don’t mind us lol]

Jimmy: [that went well lads]

Bobby: [you love to see it lmao]

Jimmy: [can’t even tell him about this dog now cos he’s made it clear he’s not interested and Jimothy is that bitch who will just leave it, hence you’ve got yourselves in this mess, what a fun stalemate to be in, go make dinner of some sort and bring it to him the same way as if this is in any way casual or a normal night]

Bobby: [at least you’ll have to eat that even though you left the tea because you’re a teenage boy and they are always hungry, and at least it’s physically impossible for you to hold a full conversation and eat so we can pretend this isn’t awkward as it is]

Jimmy: [just eating in silence on opposite sofas, a scene that would be all too familiar of the past month, I really want Jimothy to step his pussy up but I can’t run before he can walk so here we are]

Bobby: [the way this is preferable to us because we’re sick of Libi trying to talk to us in general and we just wanna stay here alone and not deal with any of them or any of that mess of a scenario or any emotions; this’ll be why Jimmy can’t show to her birthday though, tah Bobby]

Jimmy: [I can’t shade him too hard because the level of emotionally exhausted he’d have been all day before the JJ convo even started never mind this one, and at least he has tried to begin this one, but ugh it’s frustrating lol, like, he can’t even be having his own convo with Libi via text rn to make it productive cos there’s only so much he can hack in one day]

Bobby: [it makes perfect sense, if this wasn’t an issue we wouldn’t be here, at least Bobby will be going to his room at some point so you don’t have to just sit and watch him do nothing all night]

Jimmy: [go to bed and sleep sir because we all know you want to for literally a thousand years, at least we can put the JJ convo here as well, like pre-Libi’s bday and getting Peach, him telling her he can’t do whatever they had planned as an outing, cos he said he’d let her know if he couldn’t]

Bobby: [sounds good girl]

Jimmy: Have you said to Libi about [wherever they were going]?

Janis: Not yet, though I will lead with it now I’ve let things cool off

Janis: better than calling her a selfish cow or whatever again, no doubt

Jimmy: don’t, our kid’s having none of it and pissing off without him wouldn’t be a good shout at the minute

Janis: oh, that’s alright

Janis: I did wonder if he’d be up for it

Janis: I can still take her, if you don’t mind us doing it without you?

Jimmy: you’re alright, if you still fancy it, crack on

Janis: It won’t be the same but it's not my birthday so better think of something to do with her

Janis: how is he, stupid question though it is

Jimmy: The kind of question where the answer is, that the other day I came in from work to find him packing the place up, with it in his head we’d just piss off and go

Janis: ah

Janis: I bet he took the news you weren’t after leaving your whole life here behind really well then

Jimmy: Weren’t no 👍

Jimmy: 🖕 more like

Janis: how are you is a better question then 

Janis: 🤏

Janis: trying to take comfort in the fact that’s the expected and normal teenage response?

Jimmy: something like that

Janis: you do know how normal it is, yeah

Janis: Libi is honestly pretty weird for wanting to spend any time with us still

Jimmy: Least she’s weird how I am, ‘cause same

Janis: I’d say you go with her but it’d only be funny to me for the first three seconds to see his reaction to suggesting I keep an eye on him

Janis: he’s only different ‘cos he had a family about to get sick of, you didn’t

Jimmy: Take real comfort in that any road, can’t I?

Janis: 🤞

Janis: I’m sorry, I was looking forward to it too

Jimmy: I’d say tell her I am, but it’s probably better if she don’t have no clue I were ever gonna be there

Janis: depends

Janis: you’re allowed to let her know your intentions but do you want to also let her know in the process that Bobby don’t want to see her

Jimmy: can’t wrap no bow round it and make it look a top birthday gift, bit too gutting for her

Janis: yeah, probably

Janis: there’s an argument for letting him be a dickhead on his own time but

Janis: I appreciate you looking out for her best interest, although she’s going to know regardless when he doesn’t show up to [do their whole rigamarole lol]

Jimmy: Argument for locking them in together somewhere and losing the key ‘til they both stop being dickheads and sort themselves out, but probably best we don’t, nspcc would be right round

Janis: this is going to be dead uncomfortable for us all

Janis: last thing this situation needs is social workers

Jimmy: Long as he don’t ring the rspca on the dog I’ve not said nowt to him about

Janis: bit harsh, poor cow really is blameless 

Janis: she can always stay with my grandparents, don’t forget, if he does kick off or you at least need time to tell him

Jimmy: tah, rather not take you up on the offer, but fact is I might have to

Janis: I mean, ultimately I think he should get over it and deal, you had to keep Twix about for him but I’m not going to force the thing upon you to make that point

Janis: fucking teenagers

Jimmy: Who’d have ‘em, eh?

Janis: 👵👴

Janis: made us feel a bit sick, that

Jimmy: Tell me about it, mate

Jimmy: sick to the back teeth over here, I am

Janis: you ever thought of taking up smoking?

Janis: heard it works wonders

Jimmy: What I’ve heard, an’ all

Janis: but seriously, you’ve gotta do some shit for yourself, catch up with Pete

Janis: or he will drive you actually certifiably insane

Jimmy: Funnily enough, he said the same, when he were trying to get us to never have nowt more to do with you, like, but 

Janis: Oh no, got my biggest hater on my side

Janis: he’ll be gutted

Janis: maybe he has A single point, broken clocks, all that

Jimmy: Thing is, I don’t have the energy to do owt for myself

Janis: yeah, I know that feeling, be a right hypocrite to act as if otherwise

Jimmy: broken clock, all that

Jimmy: Every dickhead wants us to strike HOW many times?!

Janis: proper pisstake

Janis: just pick up a pack, I reckon

Janis: least you won’t be directly fucking up no one if you do

Jimmy: 👍

Jimmy: urge to piss off down the shop for them or a pint of milk’s never been stronger, might be Debbie had A point herself there

Janis: never said she didn’t, no offence to you all, like

Janis: if you wanted to spend some time with Libs, we could meet up after school instead this week, if you’d rather

Janis: chuck a fiver at him for some fish and chips or leave a frozen pizza, be alright

Jimmy: None taken, I get where her head were more with every passing day

Jimmy: and tah, again, but I can’t

Janis: we can admit she’s exhausting too, she can’t hear us here

Jimmy: It’s not her, you didn’t hear, or see, him

Janis: you really don’t want to leave him alone then

Jimmy: you don’t need telling how quick you can get on a train or something and be gone

Janis: no, I don’t

Janis: you reckon he might, proper?

Jimmy: I’d have said not without us before, but after hearing what he reckons of me, I dunno now

Janis: That is knackering

Jimmy: Were when I just about had the stamina to keep up with you being at it

Janis: I was a nightmare, you didn’t need it then either

Jimmy: I needed you, massive nightmare as you could be half the time

Janis: oh, half is it

Janis: generous

Janis: well, I understand, you have to do what you have to do, I just wish I could share some of the responsibility of watching him but I dunno how to now

Jimmy: be the rose-tinted 😎 that will, pissing about with the proper %

Jimmy: You’re alright, he’s my responsibility, always has been

Janis: no one should shoulder anything alone, not even you two dickheads

Jimmy: I tried saying when I were on about what we had to stay for, he won’t be told

Janis: alright but don’t make him right about it

Janis: just angry

Jimmy: Never were much good at sorting out angry though, were I?

Janis: you can’t sort angry, you let angry tire itself out 

Jimmy: Chatting as the punching bag, it don’t get tired quick enough

Janis: oh Jimmy

Janis: send him my way, fuck it, I’m not exhausted he can get some of what he needs to say out on someone else

Jimmy: I’ve had to hack worse, as an actual punching bag

Janis: but it's not the point, if you’re too done in to even defend yourself then it’s the same difference

Janis: you need rest, he needs to get it out somewhere it’ll not do no damage

Jimmy: There’s no defending myself, his head is done in by the situation I’ve put him in

Janis: you haven’t put him in any situation, come on

Jimmy: ‘Course I have, I set it up so owt I do is for him, top when I’m 🥇 but when I fuck up that’s his life I have done

Janis: that’s just the transition from kid to not

Janis: what else were you meant to do, Ian wasn’t gonna step in and step up, you can’t blame yourself for none of that

Jimmy: Why not? Our kid will do

Janis: yeah, whilst he’s a cunty teenager and then he’ll grow the fuck up too

Janis: that’s just life, everyone treats their kids like the sun shines out their hole and then the kid is royally pissed off when they hit 13, 14 and they realise it don’t and the world don’t give a fuck

Jimmy: Alright, but grow up how? No bloody way I wanted him to

Jimmy: say what you like, but it weren’t meant to be like this

Janis: of course you didn’t want this

Janis: everyone fucks it up, that’s the secret

Janis: every twat reckons they can do better and that’s what keeps the world populated

Jimmy: Dead convenient you’ve managed to unlock that secret when you need it most

Janis: I literally had this kid for the most selfish reasons, what’s the point harping on like I’m gonna do it ‘right’ or ‘well’ just to look like a dickhead in 13 years when it’s being a bastard itself

Jimmy: I’d be a bigger dickhead to make a point about trying, so you can have your ‘win’, there 🏆

Janis: it’s not a win it’s a fucking cliche

Janis: yeah, he’s spoilt and fucked up, but you couldn’t have done no better and he’d be a whole load worse off if you hadn’t of tried as hard as you did

Jimmy: be why I nicked your ‘  ’ to put the word in, that 

Janis: you’re a knobhead, but a really good one who cares too fucking much for his own good

Jimmy: Dunno where I could’ve nicked that from an’ all, don’t sound at all like you, or nowt

Janis: nah, never me

Janis: I’m sure you’ve had my faults spelt out to you quite literally if that’s the sort of mood he’s in atm

Jimmy: must’ve mixed you up for your twin again, piss easy done

Jimmy: He’s had it spelt out to him loads more times, I don’t want a bad word said about a lass who’s now my proper mate

Janis: be the nicest review she’s received, would stick out on her dating profile, that

Janis: you don’t have to defend me, you know

Jimmy: He don’t have to badmouth you to us, more like

Jimmy: I know what happened, it happened to me

Janis: fair, if you don’t wanna hear that, you shouldn’t have to

Janis: just don’t do nothing for my sake no more

Jimmy: Can’t stop us, sort of mate I am

Janis: I feel bad that no one warned you what a crap friend I am

Jimmy: I’ll live, nobody else is lining up at the minute

Janis: glad to hear you plan to drop us soon as the invites are rolling in, like

Jimmy: Warned you this were all temporary from day one, girl, why would I have a different plan now it’s mates instead?

Janis: ‘cos now we’re MATES you actually chat to us and I heard you ain’t leaving town, so

Janis: don’t give me that we’ll be off before you know it crap

Jimmy: A petty dickhead would hang on til he don’t fancy it no more and then announce we’re going

Jimmy: never, me

Janis: be no less than I deserve but

Jimmy: Yeah, but 

Janis: stay

Jimmy: You, I said it first 

Janis: if you’re keeping score, lot I said first too, memory serves

Jimmy: You’d be the first to tell us there’s no point keeping score no more, this convo serves

Jimmy: loving a bit of that today, you

Janis: erm I was trying to cheer you up, sorry I’m absolutely shocking at it and nothing matters, who cares is my default

Jimmy: Dunno what you mean, reckon I’ll cancel my doctor’s appointment ‘cause there’s no chance I’m not absolutely 100% cured, tah for that

Janis: 🙃

Janis: I mean, it’s a gift, really, this sunny disposition and knack for saying and doing the right thing at the right time

Jimmy: I don’t need telling 😎 never could come off, even if I had fancied it

Janis: good thing it suited you so well, did you a massive favour there

Jimmy: Handing Ian his perfect asking for it excuse, but I’ll let you off

Janis: asking for it could be his catchphrase, no doubt

Jimmy: depending how thin on the ground Mastermind contestants are nowadays, there’s a specialist subject in there an’ all

Janis: not a waste of a life after all, mate, happy days

Jimmy: 😁☀️

Janis: are you gonna see me this week or what

Jimmy: [drop your work schedule like you used to when you were a barista boy, with the vibe of there maybe being a lunchtime y’all could see each other again if she’s also free]

Janis: [pick one or a couple that you could do too so he has some options]

Jimmy: there we go then, that answers that

Janis: 😁☀️ ain’t exclusive to Ian

Jimmy: Might not be, but ☔️ is fairly exclusive to the time of year

Janis: where do you fucking live, mate

Jimmy: Ask us by [the first day she suggested] and who knows

Janis: I look forward to the house tour then 😏

Jimmy: Look forward to asking Gracie to find out her old vlog camera and be round, personally

Janis: 💔

Jimmy: I were when I remembered that weren’t your past life an’ all, these bloody mixups just keep on 

Janis: never too late to right that wrong

Jimmy: there’s certifiable then there’s certifiable, my dear

Janis: if we are mates now, it’d be proper 🐍 behaviour, babe

Jimmy: Oi, hun, what you chucking that if at us for? 

Janis: ‘cos be nice or I’ll 😭 and you’ll see what it’d be like having her about

Jimmy: not got a dementia diagnosis neither, I reckon I can remember what having her about were like, tah

Janis: not like you had me about

Jimmy: I had nobody about like I had you

Janis: nah, not yet

Jimmy: ?

Janis: it’s just gonna be

Janis: I’m trying to prepare myself for it but

Jimmy: Prepare yourself for what, you heard, nobody’ll take your place

Jimmy: I’ll never have none of that again, not the same

Janis: keep me special and I’ll keep you, I don’t care how sad that makes me sound

Jimmy: I only care how sad it makes me to have to past tense it

Janis: I hate myself but I know that don’t make you feel no better

Jimmy: It makes us feel worse, stop it before I have to really emotionally blackmail you

Janis: any time, mate, any time

Jimmy: doubt it’ll be what the doctor orders, you’re best to listen and leave it out

Janis: leave you alone, I know

Jimmy: Don’t hate yourself for my sake when I don’t hate you

Janis: it’s mine too, you’re alright

Janis: in one life I’d really have loved if I’d not fucked everything up and could have kept hold of you, you know

Jimmy: We only get one, mate

Janis: not according to my mother but as per, perhaps she’s talking total shit

Janis: be too good to be true, that

Jimmy: Yeah, that it would

Janis: I wish I could keep you happy, I really do

Jimmy: I false advertised it, far as jobs go

Janis: I stopped trying too

Janis: you deserve someone who won’t

Jimmy: So do you

Janis: fuck’s sake

Jimmy: A pisstake, I know

Janis: I can’t stop wanting it, I don’t know how

Jimmy: Wrong person to ask, me

Janis: maybe it’s okay, or we can tell ourselves it is

Jimmy: All it needs be is more okay than the alternative

Janis: and if it isn’t for you, you tell me to fuck off, I don’t care how much it hurts me, promise

Jimmy: I can promise you I’ll not say that, hand on heart

Janis: you’re so

Janis: but I love you

Jimmy: the dickhead I am, like it or not

Janis: you heard I do

Janis: doctor’ll teach you to stand it yourself, or some top notch pills will

Jimmy: There’s my ‘win’ then, all the artificial sunshine I can hack

Janis: might be fun, chemical holiday

Jimmy: no worse than the ones I went on as a kid, can’t be

Janis: say that’s practically a given, babe

Jimmy: Alright, near forgot you were a pill expert ‘cause of it being the family trade once upon a time

Janis: my mothers wonderful choice in men

Janis: only a 🤏 jealous they wouldn’t put me on shit right now

Jimmy: Where you’re wrong, all sorts of happy pills are safe to crack on with, barely cause any weird defects or owt

Janis: 🥳 [the dates you suggested]

Janis: safer, though

Jimmy: Do what I can to let the sun in for you

Janis: not afraid of the dark, it’s okay

Jimmy: Just getting your hair wet

Jimmy: hang on, Grace again, that one

Janis: ain’t even hers, make it make sense

Jimmy: gotta show some respect for the animal that died

Janis: 🦡🙌

Jimmy: RIP

Janis: I missed you

Jimmy: I’ve missed you an’ all

Janis: should I ask you how works been, is that a thing mates do, educate me

Jimmy: I’ve only got the one other and he does nowt of the sort

Jimmy: don’t reckon he knows the job I do

Janis: not convinced he remembers his own half the time so sounds about right

Jimmy: can’t say I right blame him, his ain’t rock star like he were after and nor’s mine as ‘fun’ as all that

Janis: could tell him that you get to photograph fit girls all day, he’d be impressed by that

Jimmy: No need to impress him, not in the market for a boyfriend yet

Janis: well, it upsets me less than Grace does as a contender but that’s purely ‘cos I could fantasize about that and not feel dead bad

Jimmy: ready to go from well back in the day, that fantasy of yours, don’t let us stop you

Janis: I’m behaving, honest

Jimmy: You heard, up to you how you want to

Jimmy: whatever gets your broken clock going, ain’t that the saying?

Janis: not at your expense

Janis: or Pete’s, though slightly less relevant as it wouldn’t be the first thing I brought up if I saw him down Tescos

Jimmy: Nor him these days, I don’t doubt

Janis: yeah, another one who’d have all the bad words to say

Jimmy: can get in the queue behind us if you like, he’ll have enough to say he never heard all that bollocks off me before every other dickhead’s told him

Janis: why would you wanna talk about that, like it’s good news

Janis: he’ll understand, remember that girlfriend he had [when you were an age who was clearly just the worst and made him look a fool]

Jimmy: I’m not bothered if he don’t, I ain’t got it in us to keep on trying to make other dickheads understand things

Janis: 😍

Janis: you seen the doctor without us

Jimmy: Soon I will do

Janis: I understand, you know

Janis: you don’t have to tell me nothing twice, though you reckon I never listen in the first place

Jimmy: Wouldn’t say never, you have your moments

Janis: but I ask nicely, got to admit

Jimmy: so nice, you

Janis: oi, be sincere about what a delight I am, dickhead

Jimmy: I am, never could read a room, that there’s a never for you

Janis: fucking hell, make me sound like I’m special in a bad way 

Janis: I’ll be paranoid

Jimmy: made yourself sound it, nowt to do with us, I said you were nice, no truer word for when I saw you the other day

Janis: if I called you nice, you’d say it was 🙂 equivalent

Jimmy: What do you want me to call you then?

Janis: that’d be telling

Jimmy: right, tell us

Janis: I can’t, just gonna have to be nicer this time you see me ‘til you think of it yourself

Jimmy: Back to being fit and mysterious for old time’s sake, are you?

Jimmy: alright

Janis: if you tell me I’m too old for it I will have to fight you

Jimmy: you can still get yourself into it, like your [an item of clothing she still has]

Janis: Libi said I was too old to be a model, that’s a tenner out the card for her

Janis: and she won’t be borrowing [said item of clothing]

Jimmy: She would, age to be discovered now, her

Jimmy: you’re sod all but competition, be costing her loads more than that tenner an’ all

Janis: see, never a nonce, you 

Jimmy: Tah, ‘cause see, I can read how sincere that were

Janis: okay, okay, I believe you

Janis: you’re misguided and you think I’m proper nice

Janis: thank you

Jimmy: Brainwashed our kid called it

Janis: ouch, like

Jimmy: I said, he’s been the delight, never mind you reckoning you’re the nightmare one or owt else but nice

Janis: can’t even be impressed

Janis: wanna talk about one of ‘em coming for my gigs, cheek of it

Jimmy: can’t be bothered, it’s nice to chat to someone who don’t fancy treating us like I’ve got battered missus syndrome off you

Janis: say what you like about the shit he might’ve seen, he hasn’t seen a divorce or nowt of the sort

Janis: he doesn’t know how anything like that goes, that most the time you still love each other and that you don’t hate each other’s guts like the films

Jimmy: How many films they’ve both seen is half the trouble, I should’ve let him have a bit more real life experience

Janis: get ready

Janis: could’ve gone my life without seeing Libi dancing on some spotty little twat but there we go

Jimmy: SO nice of you to remind us of all that

Jimmy: she’s not seen him since sobering up, has she?

Janis: She could barely seem interested drunk, I don’t think so

Janis: was very #triggering, as Gracie might say

Jimmy: Fuck’s sake, between the pair of them, I’ve a headache

Janis: on the plus side, you’ll look very sexy with grey hair

Janis: but I know, I just wish I could help you out more with Bobby so it was properly equal how it should be

Jimmy: I’ll have the compliment as you never noticed my accidental poetry up there, even making us rhyme again now, they are

Janis: if that don’t sum it up, unrecognised genius, you

Jimmy: Piss poor and unloved in my one bloody lifetime 🎻

Janis: 💔

Jimmy: divorce’ll have the first one true any road

Janis: nah, fuck that

Janis: let’s just let it fucking, default, I dunno

Janis: if you reckon I owe you something, come get it

Jimmy: I don’t want nowt like that off you

Janis: weren’t why I married you, be a shite financial decision, respectfully

Jimmy: None taken for the second time, like

Janis: I’ve told you, I don’t want a thing off you you can’t afford to give, I swear

Janis: you aren’t gonna wake up to no letter saying nowt different, never

Jimmy: Nor you, solicitor’s an even worse financial decision

Janis: so unless you fancy one and you wanna make her your 2nd wife, let’s not, yeah

Jimmy: Okay

Janis: okay

Jimmy: Keep us posted about the dog though, when you know what you’re doing with all that, don’t hate the idea of ALL letters

Janis: 💌

Janis: I will

Jimmy: In a bit then?

Janis: yeah, I’m talking your ear off again

Janis: I’m such a mess these days, I can’t work out if I’ll be telling you about the dog first or seeing you for another lunch date but, whichever one, I’m excited to see you again

Jimmy: I started it

Jimmy: I like talking to you

Jimmy: and seeing you

Janis: we don’t have to stop

Janis: I like it as much

Janis: just trying to find the messages with the dog lady, now she is fucking chatty

Jimmy: Rather you than me, poor Libs wouldn’t end up with no dog ‘cause I’d put the lady right off

Janis: ‘cos middle-aged women are the worst preds, never safe, poor boy 😤

Jimmy: leave it out telling her I’m single when you pop up

Janis: she wishes it were a swap

Janis: not happening, Helen

Jimmy: Can see Case in his element

Janis: just handles the wannabe MILFs different, suppose

Jimmy: and if that ain’t #triggering, what is?

Janis: I felt the instant regret

Jimmy: I wish you had of

Janis: it wouldn’t have changed things for us

Jimmy: Depends on the us, me and him it would’ve

Janis: true

Jimmy: Too late now, we’ve both said it before

Janis: I said I’d go, if it meant you two would fix things

Jimmy: It wouldn’t, you might as well stay

Janis: be a pisstake to everyone if I left

Jimmy: It’s your one life

Janis: other people are involved though, we’re both old enough to admit it’s messier than all that

Jimmy: But it’s also been done, there’s no going back and undoing it for nobody that’s involved

Jimmy: they’ll live, we all have to

Janis: I know that

Jimmy: have to get back behind us in that queue if they fancy that, no dickhead does more than me, but there’s no fix, trust us, I’ve had a look everywhere

Janis: I don’t want to go, I would if it would work but it won’t, sorry to Bobs on that one

Jimmy: His brain ain’t done developing, what I’ve heard

Janis: even we’ve got a few months to go, fucking hell, like

Jimmy: 🤞 that’s what 100% cures us, be nice

Janis: but

Janis: fine 🎂

Jimmy: ?

Janis: well, I will miss your underdeveloped brain when it’s gone, that’s all

Jimmy: Stick in a jar for you 🎂

Jimmy: nhs must still do lobotomies, they worked SO well 

Janis: just put us in matching jars and call it a day

Jimmy: you’ve forfeited his and hers, have to be some bollocks BFF jars

Janis: think of a decent caption or I’m tipping you out, dickhead

Jimmy: plan all along, that

Jimmy: bit of peace and quiet down the drain

Janis: some BFF

Jimmy: Never said I were good at it, ask Pete

Janis: I doubt he’s got it in him to slag me off like I need to hear

Jimmy: People can surprise you, I’d be the dickhead to know, these days

Janis: never say never, eh

Jimmy: more of a jumpscare but still, no need for the other huns to take down their toilet signs saying the like of what I just did do

Janis: get it, you’re gonna put all your energy into home decor

Janis: let the glitter and crushed velvet shine now this dickhead’s out the way

Jimmy: Be a pisstake to let Libi or her dog sleep in the spare room as is

Janis: do you want to stay there?

Jimmy: At the minute I’ve got no choice in it either way, every dickhead goes on about how stressful moving is at the best of times

Jimmy: you don’t need telling

Janis: not wrong, if it’s a thing that’s stable and you need that, don’t blame you

Janis: least I know enough cunts ‘round here to fall on my feet, it was alright, no need for sympathy

Jimmy: You don’t like it if there’s a need or there’s not

Janis: I’m the last person who deserves it, always

Janis: and you’re the one person who don’t owe me none about this entire situation

Jimmy: if you say so, Janis

Janis: why are you pretending to know my name now

Jimmy: I do know it, and you

Janis: you just don’t know how to hate me

Jimmy: Make me sound special needs now

Jimmy: I’m fed up of every dickhead telling me what I should or shouldn’t do

Janis: I didn’t tell you to, not today

Janis: I might’ve before, some of it I forget when it was really bad

Jimmy: Hating you don’t make no difference, I’ll still love you

Janis: I’ll never learn how to stop loving you, that’s a never

Jimmy: The hate I’ve got for my dad never got me nowhere, not far enough to be worth owt

Janis: yeah

Janis: so, don’t, tell every dickhead to fuck off

Jimmy: Like a spam NYE text @ this whole town

Janis: exactly

Janis: fuck this town, they’ve always got plenty to talk about and it never mattered as much as what we wanted to do and what we felt

Janis: won’t tell you I support you no matter what again but

Jimmy: It’s mostly about your relatives, tell Gracie she’s due another jilting at the altar or pregnancy scare

Janis: on it

Janis: half the rumours or shit they reckon they know is probably shit they’ve said before, don’t matter to them what’s true, only how it looks

Jimmy: We’ve used it to our advantage before, might as well keep on

Janis: look, we all know I’m not above making up some salacious bullshit about my own blood

Janis: I’ll do it for you, no joke

Jimmy: I don’t care, I’m not a school kid no more, and what bollocks goes round the office already goes over my head, there to work not make no new mates

Janis: cross your heart?

Jimmy: It’s them pair I’m worried about, not myself

Janis: what should we do?

Jimmy: Nowt we can, neither of us have time to homeschool ‘em

Jimmy: have to just 🤞 they hack it alright, whatever they hear, least Libi’s used to it, and he’s deaf, all that’ll help 🤏

Janis: They both know the truth, and what they reckon about it

Janis: nothing no random can say that is worse than all that, that’s always been how it goes, trust us

Jimmy: yeah, exactly

Janis: if he needs a punching bag, I’m serious about it

Janis: he’s angry at me, let him be, yeah, it’ll be better for you both

Jimmy: I’m not suggesting he uses you as one, let him go down gym for an actual like the rest of us have done

Janis: said you know me, when have I ever stood there and taken it?

Janis: fuck fighting a losing battle, all I’m saying, he don’t like me, he don’t like Libi at the minute, is what it is

Jimmy: fuck fighting full stop, us lot at each other’s throats is total bollocks

Janis: he isn’t there yet

Janis: you and me, we’ve had more life experience, we’re supposed to be adults, allegedly

Janis: if you try and rush him into being matey with her or anything, he’ll kick back on it and you

Jimmy: Alright, but that don’t mean I’m giving him a free pass to say what the fuck he wants to you or to her, if it goes on when I ain’t there, sod all I can do, but I’m not chucking him my permission and saying off you go, slide into their DMs and be a twat

Janis: Okay, I see your point

Janis: not a good example for you to set

Jimmy: I’ve worked myself half to death for years to avoid that being the example he has, might as well pack his bags myself and send him to Ian’s

Janis: he’d come running back faster than his legs could carry him

Janis: but no, I know you’re not gonna do that either, nor should you, not that much of a hard cow

Jimmy: A losing battle’s how it feels, all of it

Jimmy: being up, dressed, going to meetings, coming home to cook tea, on and on the list could go

Janis: because he’s throwing it back in your face right now

Janis: that’s why we’ve gotta find shit outside of him for you to care about, for yourself

Janis: because whether he’s being a normal teenager or being a little bastard, you can’t rely on him for anything more

Jimmy: I’ll care about the dog, I said

Janis: okay, the dog

Janis: I’m gonna go get it

Jimmy: Now? 

Janis: yeah, fuck it

Jimmy: You’re 

Janis: it’s important

Janis: and he’ll love it whatever he says, he’s not a psychopath

Jimmy: I love you whatever he says

Jimmy: How could I not?

Janis: I love you

Jimmy: [tell her about whatever dog food or supplies you have, waiting hidden somewhere like your car boot or whatever so Bobby doesn’t know, because he meant what he said about actually taking care of Peach and it’s clearly given him something to do already]

Janis: [likewise tell him about whatever stuff the lady said she’s got like sometimes they have blankets or a toy etc to get comfortable and what things you’ll pick up that he hasn’t got yet]

Jimmy: It’s a plan

Janis: 😁 

Janis: she’s so cute

Jimmy: She’ll do for a start as something to bother about

Janis: who could say no to that face

Jimmy: Even your nan would have a job, I reckon

Janis: sucker for a stray

Jimmy: here I had ideas what me and her had were special, turns out she’s everybody’s with a massive enough sob story 

Janis: didn’t hear that from me

Janis: proper desperate vibes, me slagging off everyone you fancy

Jimmy: Your right as my ex, that

Janis: you’re right though, definitely the least I can do is be the actual psycho ex no boy has ever had

Janis: I’ll go for it, give it my all

Jimmy: Speak for yourself, I’ll be 2 for 2 if you’re gonna act crazy an’ all

Janis: Psh, I’d do a better job at it than that

Jimmy: I’d rather you didn’t, bit of a rep for us to have

Janis: an amazing one, made us go mental losing you

Jimmy: or being with us did

Janis: got to learn how to spin it, see

Janis: and you know you’ve just got questionable taste, actually but no one needs to hear that

Jimmy: questionable actions, there’s nowt wrong with my taste on it’s own

Janis: it’s alright, I’m good looking, put up with more for less, people have

Jimmy: True enough

Janis: not even gonna call me a bighead?

Janis: must be excited

Jimmy: Saves us having to chuck you a compliment you won’t take

Janis: convenient

Jimmy: Very

Janis: you’re

Janis: too

Jimmy: What?

Janis: ?

Jimmy: I’m too? Excited? Nice? Tired? What?

Janis: no, you said I’m-

Janis: you are too, though if you meant I’m well smart, I might have to take it back

Jimmy: I meant you’re as much of all of it as you ever were

Janis: then you can keep it too

Jimmy: Feels fake, but alright

Janis: I know how it feels but

Jimmy: Yeah, that but’s important, I know

Janis: it’s all I’ve got

Jimmy: I know how it feels, no but this time

Janis: all we need is a little right now 🤏 will do

Jimmy: Both of us are clinging to 3 letter words, but for you and dog for me, ghost of Bill would be chuffed to bits by that

Janis: is a bit babies first word, init

Jimmy: could be worse, least I’m trying for mine not being you, as I’ve been there, done that, for dear life already

Janis: yeah

Jimmy: definition of insanity and all that, letting it repeat

Janis: so I’ve heard

Jimmy: there you go then 

Janis: I know what you’re saying

Jimmy: easy spellings, even if I weren’t calling you smart a bit ago, you’re not thick

Janis: its enough, isn’t it

Jimmy: You tell us, is it?

Janis: no, you tell me

Jimmy: Tell you what?

Janis: it can wait, it’s alright

Jimmy: What kind of answer is that?

Janis: I just realised we don’t need to have this conversation now

Janis: we’ve got something good to focus on

Jimmy: Alright

Janis: it’s nothing like, I dunno, I want this to be about you and the dog and just good shit

Jimmy: You say that like my head won’t make it into something

Janis: yeah… fuck it number two then

Janis: you don’t want to hook up again, do you? That’s what’s enough

Jimmy: I don’t know

Janis: okay, that’s an alright answer

Jimmy: I want to same as I’d have you back like a shot if you’d just come home

Jimmy: I know it don’t mean it’s a good idea

Janis: I just feel like I’ve pushed you or something

Jimmy: I’ve been forced into all sorts, that isn’t on the list

Janis: good

Janis: just, if you’re ever sure, let me know?

[cpressmn]

i love love love your prompts. 9 or 19, whichever you prefer <3

i was gonna try to combine them, but all i could think about was your fic so i decided to try and be original instead. hope it's everything you were dreaming it would be <3

19. sitting on each other's laps

“Nope, get up. That’s my seat.” Steve snaps his fingers at Dustin, other hand balancing his plate of pizza.

“You got up,” Dustin counters. “You forfeit all rights to your seat when you get up.”

Steve doesn’t bother arguing with the kid, knowing he’ll be met with a snotty, Those are the rules, Steve. What, you want me to change the universal laws of dibs for you? Get over it. Instead, he frowns at El, settled in between Dustin and Lucas on the couch in the Wheeler’s basement. “You were supposed to save my spot.”

She has the grace to look at least a little sorry. “I tried.”

“You have superpowers. Seems like maybe you could’ve tried a little harder.”

El shrugs, apparently done feeling apologetic.

“She just likes me more than she likes you. More than anyone, actually.” Dustin slings his arm around her shoulders, gummy smile on full display. “I’m her favorite.”

“Ha.” Max’s eyes are unfocused, but she still manages to fling an unimpressed look in Dustin’s direction, shifting in her wheelchair next to the couch.

“I’m her favorite boy,” Dustin corrects.

“Hey! What about me?” Lucas pouts.

“I’m literally her boyfriend,” Mike says from where he’s sitting on the recliner opposite Eddie, taking a break from their discussion about the latest campaign to scold his best friends.

“Tough shit. Still her favorite.”

El looks at Mike, then at Lucas, at Dustin, considering, and back to Mike. “Dustin’s my favorite,” she confirms.

“That’s messed up,” Lucas mutters, accepting Max’s consoling pat on his arm.

“Congratulations,” Steve says dryly, interrupting Dustin’s cheers of victory and Mike’s flustered protests. “Now where am I supposed to sit?”

“You can sit right here, princess.”

Eddie, comfortably sprawled in one of the recliners, pats his lap and grins smugly at Steve, like he knows his invitation won’t be accepted.

It’s been some kind of unspoken competition between the two of them lately, seeing who can get under the kids’ skin the fastest with their excessive displays of affection and pet names. It started with a co-parenting bit the kids developed several weeks back. The dipshits love to tease them, enjoy how frustrated Steve gets when they call him their mom and Eddie their dad, and the best way to get them to lay off, Steve had reasoned, was to lean into it. 

Instead of huffing or rolling his eyes the next time the kids told Eddie to “talk some sense into his wife,” Steve had said, “Eddie agrees with me. Don’t you, honey?” while unnecessarily straightening the collar of Eddie’s jacket, pressed close into his space. 

Eddie’s eyes had widened in surprise, but only briefly. Almost immediately, his hands were settled on Steve’s hips, and he was crooning something ridiculous, along the lines of, “Always, baby.” It had the kids gagging in response, making various faces and comments that all meant the same thing: they hated seeing the two of them act like this. 

Which is, of course, exactly why Steve and Eddie keep doing it.

It’s like a game of Gay Chicken, except the only people they’re trying to freak out are their obnoxious observers. 

So when Eddie offers his lap and looks at Steve like he knows he won’t do it, like this is too far outside the range of Steve’s comfort level, Steve rises to the challenge.

Like he does most things in his life, Steve doesn’t think it through very much, just shrugs and plops down in Eddie’s lap. “Thanks,” he says over his shoulder, relishing the surprised sound Eddie lets slip.

It’s more uncomfortable than he thought it would be, and he shifts around a little, fully blaming Eddie’s skinny ass legs. He’s never actually sat in someone’s lap before, though, so maybe he’s a little to blame, too. 

He always loved being the one with a lapful of the latest girl he was flirting with. He got to wrap his arms around her waist, tug her closer to his chest. It was easy to access her ear for whispered conversations and her neck for teasing kisses. And it was always nice, being that close to someone, the weight of them bearing down on him pleasant. Comforting, even.

This, though, being on the other end of it, isn’t as fun as he thought it would be. His thighs are tense, still holding himself up so he doesn’t crush Eddie beneath him, and he feels about two seconds away from toppling over. 

“You’re not gonna break me, you know.” Eddie’s voice is low, his breath hot on the back of Steve’s neck, and Steve fights like hell to suppress a shudder. He’s supposed to be the one with the upper hand in all this. “I’m stronger than I look. Relax.”

Eddie’s arm loops around his middle and pulls him in, and Steve finally lets himself melt into his hold, resting his full weight on Eddie. He wraps an arm around Eddie’s shoulders and angles his body inward, keeping one leg tucked between both of Eddie’s and draping the leg closest to Eddie across Eddie’s other leg. He doesn’t resist it when Eddie grabs Steve’s outer thigh, keeping him in place. Steve would never admit it, but it’s almost…nice. Being held by Eddie like this. Possibly even better than being the one doing the holding. 

“Must you? There’s a stool, like, right next to you,” Dustin says, pointing to the stool that is, in fact, available and right next to them.

Whatever. Steve shrugs. “This is more comfortable.”

“Aww, sweetheart,” Eddie coos and taps Steve’s nose with his ringed forefinger. Steve narrows his eyes. Leave it to Eddie to keep trying to one-up him. Trying and succeeding, which is the most irritating part.

“Ew,” Max says after Lucas explains to her what they’re doing. “Can you not?”

“Seriously. We were in the middle of a conversation,” Mike adds on, eyeing Steve with disdain.

“And? I’m not stopping you.” Steve takes a bite of his pizza. Pretends like this is completely normal and not at all affecting him in any way.

He feels, more than hears, Eddie chuckling and has to bite back his own smile in response. “Continue, Wheeler,” Eddie beckons, and everyone resumes their conversations before Steve interrupted them so he could sit on Eddie’s lap.

At least, Steve thinks they do. It’s hard to focus on anything other than the way Eddie is unconsciously rubbing his thumb in soothing circles against Steve’s waist. It’s a little dizzying, and Steve blames his recent dry spell on his reaction to such a simple touch. To any of Eddie’s touches as of late. He’s just desperate for any kind of human contact, so it only makes sense that he’s more sensitive to it, no matter who it’s coming from. 

He’s startled out of his thoughts when El makes Dustin’s drink explode in his face. Dr. Pepper drips off his nose, and the room erupts into laughter as he lunges to wipe his face off on her sleeve despite her twisting away, squealing. 

Eddie laughs, delighted, never tired of El’s displays of her powers, and his grip on Steve tightens. When he turns to Steve with his bright eyes and dimpled cheeks, Steve is powerless to do anything but return his smile and hope it doesn’t look too dopey. 

Maybe Eddie would want to try this again during movie night this week. Steve reaches up to grasp his other wrist, properly encircling Eddie’s neck with his arms, and sinks further into Eddie’s hold. The kids would hate it. 

[tartaglias-bunny]

I really enjoy your headcanons😍 I was wondering if you could do some cockwarming headcanons for zhongli, diluc, and childe please 🥺💗thank you c:

i’m glad you like them so far! and yes i can! i’m gonna throw kaeya in there too, just for funsies

❀ ཻུ۪۪┊cockwarming; headcannons & drabbles

- ̗̀➛ NSFW WARNING || 18+

✿ pairings:

diluc, zhongli, childe, kaeya 

✿ author’s note:

i really hope you like these headcannons! i might do another set of headcannons before i take a break and finish the childe x reader fic i’ve been working on! so i hope you guys are excited for that 💕

✿ work in progress:

- ̗̀➛ sub genshin character x reader

- ̗̀➛ childe x reader (smut)

diluc

i think diluc is a really private person

like he values the intimate moments he gets to have with you and prefers not to share/let anyone see the side of you that he gets to see

the side that’s for him and him alone

so he probably won’t have you cockwarm him in public

diluc probably will have you cockwarm him after you guys have sex

he just won’t pull out because he relishes the feeling of the warmth your cunt provides him

your ribbed walls enveloping his cock in a warm hug

if you’re cockwarming him after sex then your back is probably pressed against his chest

and his arms are hanging loosely around your frame

he’ll pepper the side of your face with kisses, all the way down to your shoulder

while his fingers trace random figures on the side of your hip

another place diluc will have you cockwarm him is in the bath tub

or a hot springs if it’s a private one

if you guys are at the hot springs or in the bath, he prefers it if the two of you are face to face -with your chests flush against each other

it’s just easier to hold you in his arms that way and because he wants to get a good look of that cute face of yours when he starts to lower you down on his cock

that and he loves to see your cheeks darken when he’s fully sheathed inside your cunt

kaeya

kaeya is definitely the type to have you cockwarm him in public 

the thrill of getting caught is just too exhilarating -that, and he just loves to tease the shit out of you

he will probably have you nestled on his lap in his office

he’ll “innocently” ask you to come sit in his lap while he does his paperwork, only for it to lead to something else

“I can’t help it, you’re just too tempting.”

he’ll start kissing the side of your neck while his hands begin to make their way towards your inner thighs -his fingers delicately dancing over your soft skin 

it’s a never ending tease

the light touches will make you want more, but he’ll never give it to you until you admit it

he’ll touch every single part of you, except the parts where you need him the most

he’ll work you up until your cunt is throbbing in anticipation and your breaths are uneven from frustration 

there’ll be a shit eating grin on this mans face when he finally has you where he wants you

he’ll trace the outer shell of your ears with his lips, stopping at the base to nibble on your ear lobe 

“You’ll let me put it in, won’t you baby?”

and just like that your whole demeanor crumbles and you give into his desires

he’s a cocky little shit too

he’ll make you do it yourself

Kaeya’s eyes darken with lust as he watches the [h/c] girl slide her panties down her legs -taking the lacy material from her to shove them in his pocket for safe keeping, his blue like orbs glimmering in delight at the prominent wet spot that had formed in the middle.

Taking her hands in his, Kaeya guides them towards his belt buckle, allowing the girl to undo his pants.

Sliding the zipper down all the way, [f/n] pulls Kaeya’s boxers down just enough for his erection to spring free. Wrapping her hand around the base of his member, [f/n] gives his cock a couple strokes for good measure -making sure to give the tip extra attention, just how he liked it.

Positioning her legs on either side of him, the [h/c] girl got ready to lower herself down on his cock; her hands pressing against his chest for support, whilst Kaeya’s made their way to her hips -getting ready to guide the girl onto his cock.

Just as the tip of his dick prodded her entrance, Kaeya tightened his grip on the girl’s hips, forcing her to stop.

“Other way baby girl, I still have work to do.”

With a blush on her face, [f/n] does as she’s told, turning her body around before she’s finally allowed to sink down on her lover’s cock.

Her eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of his cock slowly pushing passed each crevice of her cunt, her pussy spasming in delight as his member filled her to the brim -the tip of his cock nestled perfectly between the folds of her cervix.

bonus :

he’ll probably be teasing your clit every now and then, trying to see how much you can take before you cum

thats is, if he even decides to let you cum

his favorite thing to do is tease you when someone enters the room

he’ll bounce you up every now and then to “rearrange” your position, but in reality, he just wants to feel your cuny clench around his cock

oh and remember your panties? you’re probably not getting them back anytime soon, so you better pray that the bottom of your dress doesn’t blow up on your way home

childe

like Kaeya he is also a cocky little shit

he loves to have you cockwarm him in public

especially if there are lots of people around

what can i say, he just loves to tease his precious ojou-chan~

“Not so loud ojou-chan, you don’t want anyone to find out what we’re up to don’t you?”

“Heh? Don’t tell me ojou-chan is secretly a pervert who enjoys being watched.”

a lot of outsiders will think you two are the cutest couple in the world with the way Childe always insists for you to sit on his lap -holding you close as if he’s never going to let you go

but what they don’t see is his semi erect cock perfectly nestled in between the juncture of your legs

childe is a dirty talker

he won’t touch you at all

once you’re fully sheathed on his cock, he lets his mouth do all the magic

the descriptive images he’s able to put in your head makes your cunt throb in anticipation and he can feel it

he loves knowing that he has this kind of effect on you

childe loves showing you off, but he also hates when other guys stare at you like they’re undressing you with their eyes

“Heh, look at that guy over there staring at us.” he points out, pressing a soft kiss against the girl’s shoulder as he kept his eyes focused on the male.

Tilting her head slightly to the right, [f/n] glances over at the man who was sitting two tables away for him. “Eying you as if the Jueyun Chicken on his plate isn’t enough,” he growls, before refocusing his attention towards the girl on his lap.

“If only he knew what was going on underneath.” he teases, his fingers playing with the hem of her dress, “Or maybe he does?”

[f/n] could feel the heat rush to her cheeks at his words, “You enjoy being watched, don’t you ojou-chan?” Childe smirks, resting his chin on top of her shoulder.

“That’s not true.” she meekly retorted, her mind hazy from how long his cock had been nestled inside her -the ginger had stayed idle for so long, the poor girl was just dying for him to move.

Desperately wanting to feel his cock drag along the inner walls of her cunt -wanting to feel every vein of his shaft rub against her.

“It’s not? Then tell me why your cunt spasmed when I told you he was watching us?”

zhongli

okay so imagine cockwarming zhongli as he’s telling one of his stories

most of the time he likes to maintain a professional look when he’s telling his stories, but he just can’t help himself when it comes to you

he’ll allow you to sit on his lap as he speaks and answers questions

every now and then you shift in his lap to fix your postition, sitting in one spot for so long can get tiring, you feel?

his eyes will slightly widen at the feeling of your ass unintentionally grinding against his crotch

pressing you firm against his lap, he’ll try to get you to stop moving

that way his little friend over here can stop growing

but it doesn’t really work out for him

because now the only thing he can think of is how good your ass feels against his dick

the limp muscle slowly starting to come to life at the friction you provided him -along with zhongli’s imagination

this is the only time this man begins to stutter when telling his stories or answering people’s questions

he has to try his best to keep his expression as neutral as possible once he feels you unzipping the zipper to his pants

his knuckles turn white from how hard he’s clenching his fists once he starts to feel you sink down on his cock

from afar, it merely seems as if you’re getting up to position yourself in a more comfortable position

the feeling of your textured walls rubbing against the sides of his shaft make his balls twitch in anticipation -he wants more, no he needs more

but he can’t have his way with you just yet

an amused expression paints your features every time you clench your cunt around him

the soft grunt he lets out along with the sharp breath of air he intakes is like music to your ears

“Just wait till we get home.” he lightly growls into your ear

[hotwings0203]

Idk what this is but the thought of you being scared of Bakugos quirk is so hot to me

Tw:noncon, predatory behavior

“I swear he’s getting to be more and more like a villain every time I see him,” you giggle with Mina as you two walk out of the class. Bakugo had yet again exploded at one of your shared teachers for correcting him in his pronunciation of a word, and as usual it was quite a scene to behold. Chairs were almost thrown, his friends had to hold him back from leaping up while others egged him on, itching for amusement in their mind-numbingly dull class.

“Maybe Shigaraki was right,” your pink-haired friend snorts and you both collapse in wheezes, clawing and slapping at each other’s shoulders as the ludicrous image of Shigaraki being unable to reign in Bakugo comes to mind.

“Hey ladies, what’re you two laughing about?” A lilting and charming voice comes right at your ear, and you turn to see Denki, Kirishima and…Bakugo walking next to you.

Just because of his proximity and how you were literally just talking about him two seconds ago, you jump away from Bakugo’s glowering face and not so subtly hide behind Mina in a half playful jest.

“Huh? Whatcha ya jumpin’ around for?” Kirishima laughs and you exchange an embarrassed look with Mina.

“Oh nothing, we were just talking about how Bakugo’s quirk is totally villainous. We’re lucky he’s on our side,” Mina singsongs, but you slap her arm in alarm.

And well placed alarm at that, because Bakugo’s scowl deepens as he turns his head to you in a death-glare. You swallow hard seeing his expression and try to nervously laugh.

“But, uh, we were just joking. Right Mina?” You give her a pointed look and she deflects it happily.

“Nope! At least you weren’t, you’re half scared to death of him, isn’t that right Y/N?”

Denki interrupts before you can sputter in horror.

“Honestly, who isn’t scared of this dude?” He claps the other blond on his back and yelps when Bakugo’s hands start curling with smoke.

“Watch it dumbass.” He cranes his head to meet your eyes, but when he finds that you’re still avoiding eye contact with him he starts moving around his friends to better talk to you.

“My quirk isn’t that scary you idiot. It’s not like I care enough about any of you to blow you up-“

But with the smoke still curling form his hands and with the permanently intimidating scowl on his face reading closer and close to your, you can’t help but squeal and scrabble around him to sink your nails into Kirishima’s shoulders for protection.

“Okay, I get it! You don’t have to come any closer, I can see fine from here.” Your voice comes out too high and strained to be deemed as joking, but nonetheless everyone laughs at your dramatic show.

Everyone but Katsuki. Because he can see you’re actually scared, he’s seen it a hundred times on civilians who try to pretend they’re fine but still have that panicked glint in their eye.

“Jesus Y/N, with a reaction like that maybe he really is a villain. Bakubro, want us to send you back to Shigaraki’s place? Maybe you should reconsider his offer.”

And finally at Denki’s quip everyone including you this time laughs again in playful agreement, but yet again Bakugo’s blood starts simmering further.

Why the fuck were you being so obnoxious? He didn’t do anything to you before, right? So why the hell were you embarrassing him in front of all his friends and making him out to be this bloodthirsty monster?

Well, whatever. If a monster is what you want, then a monster is what you’ll get.

And so he waits for you after school, trailing behind you a couple hundred feet yet still keeping you in sight. He curses when you giggle with your friends, no doubt in his mind that you’re still throwing dirt on his name and he swears under his breath when you talk to Deku and his dweeb friends.

Of course when you hang around ditzy dorks like Deku he’s gonna look like a psycho in comparison.

But at one point you’re by the vending machine alone in a deserted hallway, fumbling with your coins and trying to quickly get a soda before your friends up ahead leave.

Too bad for you, because when he’s done with you they’ll never want to be seen with you again for their own safety.

You’re shoving money in the slot when he silently walks up a couple feet behind you.

“No friends around to gossip about me?”

You shriek and jump a good foot in the air at the sudden voice behind you. Clutching your heaving chest, you whirl around to see who it is.

Your blood runs cold. It’s Katsuki Bakugo, the absolute last person you want to be alone with in a deserted hallway.

Your feet move a step back.

Wrong move.

His nostrils flare and his eyes widen at your insulting retreat. You know he doesn’t take kindly to it, but with an expression like that how could you not?

“Uh, w-what do you mean?” You chuckle nervously.

He doesn’t laugh. In fact, he does something worse.

He matches your steps and moves forward a little bit.

At this you fully take a stride backwards and clash with the vending machine behind you.

He keeps advancing, slowly getting closer and checking you out, his head tilted as his eyes roam up and down your vulnerable body.

“Don’t move back. Why the fuck did you move away from me? That’s rude, we were just having a normal conversation.”

You surprise yourself by sounding level-headed in retaliation. “‘Kinda hard not to be a little uncomfortable when your conversation sounds so accusing.”

He lunges forward and you actually scream this time, throwing your hands up above your head in instinct to protect yourself from his proximity.

Bakugo doesn’t touch you but you can still feel his breath puffing on your head, can still feel the heat from his hands on either side of your body.

“You got a smart mouth don’t you? Is that why you embarrassed me earlier in front of everyone?”

“Embarrassed you-?” You squeak but immediately cut off when he thrusts his face right in front of yours, a manic look on his face as all his facial features stretch into a irate leer.

“I guess we’ll have to fix that tongue of yours. Put it to better use than to talk shit about me, right?”

Vermilion irises move from your face down your body, lingering on your chest and at the apex in between your legs.

Bile rises to your throat as he licks his lips and lets his lips ghost over yours, oh so close yet not touching.

And in the second before he descends, you shove him off with nothing but pure adrenaline feeling your fear and race past him, blindly running down the halls as fast as you can.

Surprisingly, you don’t hear anyone behind you. That doesn’t mean you don’t stop running though.

The real reason you don’t hear anyone behind you is because Katsuki Bakugo has an eerie smile on his face at your bolt. He languidly stretches his arms above his head and relishes in the popping of his joints, and in succession the popping of sparks in his hand. He kicks one leg out, then the other just to ensure you get a fair head start.

You’ve just made this so much more interesting.

He sets off at a light jog, and even in his carefree pace his strides are enough to eventually catch up with you, instinct like an animal’s guiding him through the winding halls and ending up catching a glimpse of your feet as you turn into another lane.

You’re panting, sweat pouring down your eyes as panic makes it hard to breathe or think rationally. The adrenaline that was pushing you is now dying down but at the worst time.

You take a quick glance back and your rapidly beating heart falters as you see him with a grin on his face as he practically jogs leisurely behind you. You’ve seen this same face on him when he’s in the battlefield, blasting through enemy hearts and blowing up heads as if they were fireworks.

He’s bloodthirsty. He wants you.

“Running away again? That’s not very heroic of you babe,” he calls out, and it’s terrifyingly infuriating how he’s not out of breath.

“Leave me the fuck alone,” you half scream and sob, trying to run faster but failing miserably.

You see a bathroom sign out of the corner of your eye and frantically stumble towards it.

Katsuki knows you know he’s even you take a turn and he laughs to himself at how boringly easy this is.

Maybe he was scary.

He shakes it off and continues his hunt after you, coming forth until he faces the bathroom door in which you were cowering behind.

There’s a small window, and no other door. Just a couple of stalls, a terrified girl, and a psycho with the taste of revenge practically palpable on his lustful tongue.

He knock with faux politeness. “You wanna come out and do this the easy way or you want me to barge in and take you myself?”

You sob and wheeze in response, desperately pushing against the flimsy door in a pathetic attempt to keep him out. Bakugo merely crosses his arms and leans against the door, staring intently at it with a smile still on his face.

Judging by the weight pushing more at the bottom of the door, he can tell you’re probably sitting down in an effort to catch your breath.

You both know he can come in at any time he so well pleases, but he decides he’ll play by your rules for a bit longer, indulge you a little before your inevitable downfall.

He hums loudly and slides down to join your parallel position on the floor.

“I’m tryina be nice here, y’know. You acted so scared of me when I never even bothered you before. Aren’t I being nice right now by letting you choose for yourself?”

He sounds so conversational, as if he were talking to one of his buddies. You stay silent but your silence speaks volumes.

It serves as nothing but a means to piss him off further.

The two of you sit in silence for seemingly hours, even though it’s only around 20 minutes. Every second you feel like he’s going to break down the door any second and blast your face off, but miraculously he doesn’t.

You don’t know what you’d rather prefer: for him to prolong your strained agony by letting you be so close yet so far from him, or to end your suffering and get it done with.

But you needn’t sit in silence stewing in your own fear any further, for at the exact moment you begin to doze off with the dying of the light the weight on the other side of the door lifts and you startle awake at the scuffling on the other side.

You blink a couple of times and blanch when you see through the window the purple light indicating that you really have been here longer than you thought.

Bakugo cracks his knuckles and rolls his head, popping a few more kinks in his neck before breathing out and bracing for impact.

“Ready or not little bitch, here I come.”

“Bakugo, wait-!”

But your plea doesn’t last for more than two words. The door bangs open with such a sound that you actually think he’s blasted it straight off his hinges. You gasp and shield yourself, jumping backwards and covering your face.

“‘Thought I made it clear by now that you can’t run. So why’d you try to leave? Huh? Think you’re smarter than me? You think you’re stronger than me?”

He’s stalking forward again, and you’re left tripping back over your feet and whimpering at his salacious intent as he backs you up and corners you into a stall.

He already knows the answers to his rhetorical questions but he wants to hear you say it. He wants to hear that scornful conviction in your voice about how big and bad he was that you used earlier.

With you tripping backwards into the cramped stall, his approach quickens in hunger at feeling you, feeling the fear radiating off your body.

Bakugo presses up against you against the wall and takes up the space around you, invading your personal bubble. He’s everywhere, growling in your ear, hands gripping your waist so tight you’re sure bruises sprout from his touch, his erect penis grinding on the inside of your thigh.

Your trepidation and terror rises to an insurmountable height as he smothers you.

When he suddenly grips your chin and forces your head to face him you gasp. His touch is even more callous than you thought.

“You lookin’ here bitch? Good.”

His palm is raised towards you and before you can even widen your eyes in realization his appendage starts sparking madly. You shriek and try to throw him loose as little bits of embers fly out and made your face, his voice rough as always yet dangerously low and soft.

“S’not so scary after all is it? You’re reacting better to it than I thought.” Bakugo Blanca you mocks your writhing figure as you desperately try to evade the mini explosions.

“Okay, I get it, please stop I don’t like it!” You shrilly cry out but his hand moves from your jaw down to your neck, and squeezes the last remnants of opposition out of you.

“Yeah? Good, I’m glad you get it. But honestly, I don’t care if you don’t like it.

Because I like it. I fucking love this quirk, ‘specially when you cower so prettily under it like you did earlier.”

You choke and try to scrabble at his hands but it’s like a butterfly’s touch to him, barely producing any fruition.

“I kept wondering to myself: why do I care if she’s scared of it? And then I realized,” he leans in and lets his lips brush over your ear, lets his hand lessen ever so slightly so that your main focus is his words.

“You just looked good enough to eat when you know you’re beneath me. When you know how dangerous I am.”

He pulls back and assesses the look on your face. “Makes you look good enough to eat.”

And without further ado he lowers his hand and starts rubbing his alit palm on your clothed pussy, his erection getting harder as your screams wilt into whines.

Your legs flail uselessly as he burns a hole through your pants and his fingers hook aside the band of your panties.

Bakugo thrusts his hips forwards and grinds his straining cock on your moist lips, taking in your blubbers and teary eyes.

You can’t even speak, you can only cry out like a child as he thrusts harder and harder, so hard that your back hits the wall painful and the stall walls rattle behind you.

“You-pant-fucking scared-pant-now slut?” He rasps, his head bobbing on rhythm with yours as he practically lifts you off your toes to match his pace.

Your clit is caught between the fabric and rolled cruelly pleasurable as his tip leaks precum, staining your own panties in the process.

With your attention rapt on his now-uncovered dick sliding in and out of your folds, he takes this opportunity to take his other hand off your neck and blast the wall next to your face.

The second you open your mouth in shock as bits of tile rain down on your face he slams his steaming palm over your lips, burning the soft flesh as you weep openly.

He sets off two more near your sides and another above your head, his own face aligned right in front of yours so you can see the mean smile on his face all the while he sets your heart racing at an alarming speed.

When the smoke clears and you can start feeling glass and tile imprint on your once-smooth face, he positions his dick up so that it prods at your hole and yanks your hair back.

His eyes practically glow with the mini fires preserved in the walls with his blasts, the impact of the air rushing around him makes his hair even spikier, his body is taunt and even more imposing than before.

His teeth gleam with the orange and red light next to you. His chest doesn’t heave, because he’s at ease with your terror.

“You think you know fear?”

With one swift movement he shoves up into you, but this time he doesn’t cover your mouth.

“You haven’t met me truly yet.”

[murtagh-thorn]

things i headcannon about murtagh & thorn just becase

- As much as he’s scared he’ll just screw a kid up, he does love them. Especially babies. He feels honored whenever a small kid chooses to come up to him or someone lets him hold their baby. When he thinks no one’s watching, he’s often cooing, making funny faces, and playing peek-a-boo or hide and seek, and regularly lets kids throw snowballs at him or knock him over when play fighting, just to see them laugh.

- He hated the color red as a child and teen since it reminded him so much of Morzan and his dragon, but has learned to appreciate it more since Thorn hatched. Now it’s one of his favorite colors.

- Although he was trained in courtly manners, he does have a bit of a dirty sense of humor--but it’s something he only reveals to people he’s completely comfortable with and only at certain times/places.

- He loooooooves a good murder mystery. If IC was set in modern day, he would be a huge Sherlock Holmes fan and love trying to figure everything out before Sherlock.

- Despite his dirty sense of humor, he’s doesn’t curse all that much and if he’s around a potty-mouth, he won’t say anything, but Thorn hears a lot of internals “phews.”

- He can always tell Thorn’s about to prank him when he slightly dulls their mental connection, making him suspicious. Where his dragon got this penchant for pranks, he’ll never know ~ahem~

- For all his noble training and lifestyle, if he visited Roran, I imagine he’d actually kind of like the simplicity of the lifestyle. Maybe not so much the farming (unless it has to do with horses), but he likes living out in the country where there are less expectations, less people to impress or try to redeem himself for, and likes having vendors, shopkeepers, or bar tenders at the local tavern that know him as regular.

- He’s very touch-starved (obviously), but also very hesitant about receiving touch from anyone other than Thorn. The first time Katrina hugs him, he simultaneously feels like he’s about to explode from embarrassment and cry in relief at the same time.

- He and Ismira are BFFs

- Doesn’t have as much money now that he’s in the wild, but picks up odd jobs here and there in the towns he goes through. It’s always very mundane work, but Murtagh loves working with his hands and being active, so he relishes the opportunity.

- Very adamant about keeping his beard well-groomed, although he’s shit at cutting the hair on his head. Tried once when he was a teen and it was so lopsided, Tornac had to fix it up for him. He either gets trims at local barbers in small towns or if it’s too long, puts it in a small, low bun at the nape of his neck.

- Eventually he and Thorn go to help Eragon train the new Riders and dragons after years in the wilderness. Eragon readily accepts and after months and months of everyone giving him a wide berth (except maybe some of the younger students), people finally start to warm up to him. Except the elves. Finally at dinner one night, Eragon reluctantly tells him it’s the beard. Murtagh is surprised, but decides to shave the whole thing off just to see what the elves do. Despite feeling very naked (and cold) now, the elves warm up to him significantly, which he finds very amusing. Whenever he starts letting his stubble go though, it’s right back to “oh...it’s you.”

- Despite their arguments, Murtagh does really admire Eragon and vice versa. After becoming a teacher alongside Eragon, he and his brother really lean on each other. Murtagh tells Eragon what he can remember of Selena and is actually pretty curious about Brom since he did manage to win his mother over. Wishes he could’ve had more of a chance to get to know Brom himself, and he and Thorn eventually make a visit to his tomb.

- Murtagh loves learning new languages and eventually teaches himself Dwarvish and even a little Urgal (he’s already fluent in the Ancient Language, obviously). Orik is pretty surprised when Murtagh apologizes for killing Hrothgar in Dwarvish and doesn’t forgive him, but says he can sort of understand. Never really fully warms up to Murtagh, but does come to have some begrudging respect for him.

- I feel like Murtagh and Arya would be good friends

- Elva sort of creeps him out, but he does respect her.

- Lots of philosophical debates with Angela late at night.

[hazzoranstories]

Niall Horan | Smutty ABCs

A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

Niall is a full baby after sex. Whether it was slow morning sex or fucking the living shit out of you he’ll immediately fall out of any trances he may be in and will beg you to stay with him just a bit longer before going to clean up. But he’ll usually compromise by rushing to clean and/or change before you could even sit up.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of their's and also their partner's)

His favorite body part of his own is his arms but only once he got bulky in 2013. Before that he didn’t like too much of himself but if he had to pick something it was probably his hair. And his favorite of yours has to be your waist which he holds onto everywhere but if he were to be more true and dirty he’s got to say your ass (which he grabs a lot as well).

C = Cum (Where they like to cum / what they like to cum from)

Niall’s favorite place to cum when fucking has got to be inside of you. He loves the warm feeling. But he prefers to cum from a blow job or teasing rather than fucking. Most of the time he doesn’t get to but when he does he relishes in the feeling.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory)

Niall may act like the baby of 1D but he for sure isn’t that in the bedroom. Granted, he loves when you control him or passionate sex as much as the next guy. But most of the time it’s Niall absolutely destroying you to the point of tears.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

Niall is probably one of the least experienced boys (he isn’t a virgin though) of the group and he hasn’t dated many girls which you knew. So you enjoyed teaching him new things and let’s just say he picks things up quickly.

F = Favorite Position (Again. Self-explanatory)

The most used is definitely doggy which to Niall is the easiest position to get you in before pounding into you. But his favorite is backward cowgirl where he can see and grab at your ass all he wants.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

When he’s fucking you fucking you then he is as cold as stone (which of course he makes up for after but you like both sides of him) but any case else he’s quiet smiley, cuddly, and will even laugh a few times.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they?)

Niall doesn’t pay much attention to grooming. Obviously he won’t let it get out control but could care less about body hair.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment?)

Again, like the seriousness level, it depends. He doesn’t have time for intimacy when destroying you but other than that he’s usually very intimate and passionate.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcannon)

When he’s away on a trip or you’re gone he has to care for himself but it’s surprisingly low compared to how much he’s gone.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Hair pulling, size difference (his bulkiness), and lingerie

L = Location (Favorite place to . . . . ya know)

He loves fucking in hotel rooms because then he won’t have to deal with all the mess in the long run. Specifically the sink and bed.

M = Motivation (What turns them on?)

A lot of things fluster Niall but one thing he can’t resist is your competitive side. Whether you’re against him or someone else he always has to drag you away to pleasure you.

N = NO (Something they wouldn't do. Turn offs)

He’d never hit you during sex. That’s just a big no for him. He doesn’t see the point of proving your love through slaps even on the ass.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Niall is quiet messy with giving oral but you like how he does it and he does it so often you get butterflies every time his mouth comes in contact with your clit. But one of his other secrets is he loves receiving oral while pulling your hair and you gagging on him.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc.)

Again. We’ve been over this several times. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Niall prefers full sex especially whole nights of fucking but when one of you is needy he’ll do almost anything to solve that problem. And quickies really help him.

R = Risk (Are they down to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Niall isn’t a big risk taker in general so he won’t do anything insane but he’s down to experiment if you really want to.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long can they last)

He lasts pretty long per round, usually reaching his high after you but his orgasms are so intense that he can usually only go for two rounds at most.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Niall doesn’t love toys but he’ll occasionally use butt plugs or small things like that.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Niall knows that if you were to tease him immensely he would get really frustrated so he doesn’t do it that often. He usually wants to get right to the good stuff but he will whisper teases in your ear while fucking you but you both know it’s all playful.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds do they make)

He is pretty loud especially compared to his ego. The boys have complained a few times about hearing you two from hotel rooms across the hall and they always like to joke with Niall that his low grumbles of moans were louder than you. 

W = Wild Card (A random and rather unexpected desire to the untrained eye)

Niall loves mutual masturbation. He finds it really personal that you’re not only helping one another but every time you do it it’s never rushed or in the heat of the moment. It’s all real and he lives for it.

X = X-Ray (How pretty are they down there? Do they lie, or is it straight and utter facts?)

Niall never lies about his good 7 inches. But he is so girthy you might as well add two extra inches for how much pleasure he can bring you.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive surprisingly isn’t that high. It’s relatively average even when he was a horny teenager.

Z = ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterward?)

The minute you are secured in Niall’s arms for good after cleaning up etc. he passes out in the deepest sleep you have ever seen. 

[smellslikemultifandomimagines]

Hi, I really love your writing, can I request a full length smut where Jason jokingly dares the reader to give him a blow job during dinner with the rest of the Titans, not believing she would because she never does anything daring but the reader surprises him and actually does it to prove she can be daring and Jason has to keep his moans quite from everyone which he isn’t very good at and let’s be honest, Dick immediately knows what’s happening so he keeps asking Jason random questions just to tease him. Thank you, sorry if it’s to much, I just thought it would be a bit funny.

pairing: jason todd x fem!reader

warnings: smut → oral (male receiving), public sex lol.

word count: 898

a/n: sorry this took so long! also i love this concept holy shit

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:• ☾ ☼ ☽ •:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

smut night has finished for the week - thanks for participating!

requests are open🖤

request guidelines✨

🌻masterlist🌻 (includes both smut masterlists)

Once the words slipped from Jason's mouth, you couldn't stop thinking about them. How would he react if you actually followed through with it? Would he be mad? The only way you would be able to find out is if you went through with it.

Everyone was in heavy conversation, so you decide now is the perfect opportunity to slide under the table. You sat directly across from Jason, so it made it so much easier to get to him. You muffle a giggle into the sleeve of your hoodie before trailing your hand up his thigh, letting him know you're there.

Jason jumps, not expecting that type of contact. He looks across from him and notices you're not in your seat. His eyes trail down his body, meeting your eyes from under the table. His cheeks flush a shade of red. He knew you were daring, but he did not expect this at all.

He coughs as your hand reaches his sweatpants-clad cock. You palm him gently, feeling him harden at your touch. His eyes lock with yours again; his bottom lip sucks into his teeth as you pull at the drawstrings.

"wait, Jason, did you try and steal the batmobile?" Gar asks in amusement and wonderment.

"aw, come on, like it was hard. He might have security traps built-in, but they're like from 10 years ago," he chuckles, clenching his knife and folk hard as you shuffle his sweatpants down his thighs. Your palms tease his thighs, pussy soaking at the thought of riding them one day. God, how good they would feel under your clit.

"so that's how you started working with Bruce," Rachel nods understandingly. The rest of you had always wondered how he even got to working with bruce.

"Alright, craziest thing you've seen when you've been out patrolling?" Gar asks Dick. Dick starts sharing a funny story, but Jason couldn't concentrate, his mind too clouded with focusing on not letting out moans.

By this point, your tongue teases his cock, circling around his tip before licking from the base up to his tip before repeating. The precum spills on your tongue nicely, a quiet hum coming from your throat as you take him in your mouth. His eyes widen, then close at the feeling of you sucking him off. You are so much better than he imagined.

One hand comes down to grip your hair tightly, his lip sinking into his teeth again to stop even the slightest sound from coming out. Jason's breathing becomes shallower as he relishes in the pleasure. God, you feel so good around his cock.

"fuck," he groans out, eyes widening as he didn't mean for it to. He makes up a quick excuse saying that he forgot it was Monday tomorrow. Gar groans also, complaining how he loathes Monday's.

"can we get a day off training tomorrow?" Gar asks Dick, who's eyeing Jason suspiciously.

"no, you guys know the rules. You get the weekends off, and that's it," he says in his stern dad-like voice. "but how about we order take out tomorrow?"

Rachel and Gar cheer in excitement. It's been a while since you've all order take out. Dick has been pretty adamant that you guys eat healthy to build up your strength.

Dick looks over at your empty chair, an eyebrow-raising as he reaches his foot out under the table, brushing up against your side. He muffles a chuckle as he takes another bite of his dinner. He never thought you'd actually go through with the dare, but good on you, he supposes.

"so, uh, Jason," he coughs out a chuckle. Jason's pleading eyes make contact with Dick's smug ones, a shiver passing through him as he wonders if he knows what's happening. "what do you think we should order?"

"fo-for what?" he chokes out, hand gripping your hair tighter. Jason leans forward on the table to make sure you couldn't be seen - not that you could, but he didn't want to risk anyone else suspecting anything.

"take out tomorrow. What should we get?"

"um, I don't really care," he coughs, hand shaking as he brings up his glass of coke to his mouth. He takes a big gulp, noticing that it's helping him not to moan out your name.

"Really, because I was thinking we should order from the new restaurant downtown? what do you think?"

"um, yeah, sounds good."

"oh, also, Jason, how would you like going patrolling with me later this week?" Dick asks, his face brightening in amusement.

Jason's close. He knows that if he keeps talking, he'll end up moaning your name and cumming in your mouth.

"um, yeah, okay." he struggles out.

"wait, guys, where did [y/n] go?" Gar asks suddenly, breaking up the entertaining tension between Dick and Jason.

"mm, hadn't noticed her gone. Must've gone to the bathroom or something," Dick responds, eyeing jason with such hilarity. Jason's jaw clenches, his stomach tightens as he feels the cord in his lower stomach about to snap.

Both hands grip your hair, pulling tightly as he cums in your mouth. He suppresses his moans through a notable cough, but one that makes both you and Dick smirk pleasantly.

Jason looks down at you, his eyes pleading with you. You wink as you swallow, wiping the corners of your mouth with your thumb.

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[kisakunt]

hi, i was wondering if you could maybe do a request for shin where the reader is being a brat and shin decides to punish her by putting his cigs out on her? maybe throw in some orgasm denial too? i love your work sm!!

omfg god bless, lil thing for the birfday boy

cw: nsfw, cigarette branding, smoke play, orgasm denial, light bondage (like literally barely any), fem reader

wc: 1.6k

shinichiro likes to smoke in his shop when there are no customers. he’ll never admit it to anyone but you, even if the smell so clearly lingers on him and every piece of furniture he owns. it’s calming to him to turn his music up, look over his receipts, and light a square in the comfort of his office; he almost loves the way the smoke culminates in the space between him and rows of bikes.

so, it’s no surprise to find you here, half laying on his workbench, back pressed against the wall. your skirt is bunched up under your thighs, pretty pussy bare, hands tied against each other while your boyfriend seats opposite to you, lit cigarette in hand.

“you just don’t learn, sweetheart.” he has you where he always does, right where he wants, needy under his hazy smile. “yknow i love makin’ ya feel good, but when i got shit to do i got shit to do.” he leans back into his seat further, eyes pinpointing the way you shift against yourself when he takes a long drag of his cigarette.

shinichiro is a passionate victim of self indulgence, and this is his ultimate vice. he thinks subconsciously this has to be the reason he took up smoking— how desperate it makes you. but, nonetheless, he waits. he lets the tension sit in the air, ignores the need crawling at his skin, ignores how good you look for him, just so he can hear you beg.

“‘m sorry,” it comes out a whine, and he figures, in a twisted way, you are.

his tongue swipes over his bottom lip— it’s sudden appearance foreshadowing his thoughts just a little, before it gets hidden by his grin. “yeah?” the word is so simple, so casual, but it sounds intricate from his lips.

he leans forward, smoke loose between his perfect fucking fingers, breath warm on your skin, before he places a soft kiss to your thigh.

“don’t really believe ya,” another drag, another accentuation of his knuckles against his lips before he’s back where he was, closer this time, harsher as he blows the smoke soft against your thigh. “i think you get off on this shit, beautiful.” he watches intently as the smoke damn near travels up your leg, wonders how bad it would sting against your cunt, gratifies the thought when you whimper slightly.

another kiss to your inner thigh, closer this time. “you just gotta learn, baby, you know that.” it comes out a murmur against your skin, and he’s not quite sure you even heard him. but he’d show you what he meant, he always does— you’re so good at baiting him into this exact position and he can’t find it in him to care.

“shin, please, i promise— please.” it’s sweet to him that you sound this fucked up without him laying a finger on you. shinichiro adores you, he really does, and what kind of boyfriend would be be if he didn’t give you what you so clearly need? his face finds it’s space between your legs where he swears it belongs, and he relishes in the way you subconsciously go to tighten your limbs around his head, his free hand lifting on instinct to push them back open.

he flicks the end of his cigarette over your thigh when his tongue meets your clit. a hum spills from his lips when he flattens it just right against you, eyes shutting at the strangled moan that leaves you. shinichiro is reliable— consistent with his technique and with how pussy drunk he gets off of you immediately. his tongue doesn’t miss the way you flutter against him when he presses a flat stripe up your folds, and he punctuates it with a slow kiss to your clit.

he lets it build up, savors the way you shake under him. and you’re so telling— so devoted to him that he knows exactly what each twitch of your body means. an image of your face plays in his head, one he knows you’re replicating now, and he groans against you.

but then, he’s gone without a warning, hand pressing your hip again, holding it down on the surface of the bench when you try to chase him with a thrust. “so needy.” he wipes the edge of his mouth with his fingers, cleaning off the absolute mess you left him. he lifts himself up, stiffly albeit, bringing them to your lips as he stands in front of you. he takes another inhale and he wonders how his cigarette has lasted this long, even if it’s on its last life. he watches intently as you taste yourself on him, gulps down at the way you work against his digits.

“stop promising shit you don’t mean.” his face is almost against yours, fingers out of your mouth and wet against your jaw. before you can come up with a desperate lie he kisses you, licking against the line of your teeth, moving to drink at the saliva that pools on your tastebuds.

his hand stays rested on your jaw, cradles the quiver in it as your eyes well up. “cigarette’s almost out.” he holds the butt to you now, let’s you take the last drag, just like he always does. “you like this, don’t you?”

upon your nod, your silent admittance, he carries it down and down and down, until he presses the square out hard on your thigh. he goes forward instantly, mouth capturing the sob from your throat— open, and warm, and god, he fucking loves this. his thumb swipes over the new burn mark, feels over the faded scars of the previous ones, before gravitating back to your clit.

he’s lazy in his motions, laughing to himself at the spit that follows him once he separates the two of you. he scans your features, pride welling at the need in your expression. his hips rut slightly against nothing when he dips his head to lick the base of your throat, body needy but patient. “fuckin’ love the way you taste,” and he does. every part of you down to your fucking sweat is enough to have his dick unruly, drooling in his boxers just like your pretty fucking mouth.

this is right to him— the way you clench around his fingers instantly, suck in his pointer and middle as if they were as fat as his cock, how you sound when you moan his name, how you’re the only thing that could just about make him cum from a look.

shinichiro loves to smoke; loves the burn in his throat, the way the smell lingers on him, how it gives him an excuse to step outside and take in every beautiful thing about the city. he loves to work on bikes, as well. loves the pattern in the problems, how methodical it is every single time no matter what he’s doing. but he’s sure, right now, he’d give anything up to keep you like this.

his fingers curl up, memorize the padding of your walls, and he’s truly infatuated. “yeah, pretty girl, i know.” he brushes your ear with his smoked stained lips, whispers of how good you’re taking it overwhelming you. he’s tantalizing, debilitating with his movements, fingers stuttering every time he feels your build up.

“shin, fuck,” maybe he should be worried about how attractive the desperation in your tone is, but nonetheless his cock twitches when you whimper his name again. “shinichiro, please— god, please, please, please.” and it seems like you do grasp what he was saying, at least temporarily, because you wait to fall apart until he approves.

he groans almost as loud as you cry when you cum, continuing his ministrations as you clamp dangerously tight against his hand, the feeling too familiar. he waits for your body to slump and once it does, he softly moves you a little to lean on him, supporting your weight carefully.

and he finds himself switching places with you earlier, sucking his own fingers while you watch him apprehensively, grinning as they leave his mouth with a pop.

“how’s your leg?” you nod, vision tired and loving. you lift your tied wrists to him, tilting your head a little.

“hate not bein’ able to touch you, ‘chiro.” he’s convinced you’re the greatest thing that could have come into his life. he unties you carefully, fingers slow, talented in every aspect, and he follows their new freedom by massaging the skin over your carpal bones.

you shift, pushing down to sit up properly before you pull him closer by his neck. your fingers fumble with the collar of his plaid, covered with a days work and his sweat. you reach into the breast pocket silently, content as you grab his pack of mevius menthols. you hit the box against your palm, grab a loose square and place it between your lips, switching the box out for a lighter.

you don’t move away as you light it, smoke almost painful in both of your eyes as you puff it out past the stick. you look at him, as if he wasn’t stuck on you already, nimble hands moving to let it rest between your fingers.

“wanna fuck me, shin?” and what a stupid fucking question. he’s back on you instantly, scrambling for his belt with a boyish laugh, a series of uncoordinated kisses landing on your neck.

shinichiro thinks, subconsciously, you’re the reason he started smoking— but as he lines himself up with your folds, let’s you kiss the smoke into his mouth, watches you almost drop the puff when he enters you without a warning, he knows you’re the reason he won’t stop.

tagging: @drizzydraken @haruchiyo i feel eh ab this, wtvr i’m sleep deprived

[undead-merman]

I really enjoyed all of your siren/mermaid obey me headcannons and fics! The descriptions of the boys were so cool and well researched!

In the beach event the boys have you swallow a pearl that lets you breath under water, but mention one that actually turns you into a mer! Hopefully foreshadowing for a future event.~

But with your yandere sirens how would the boys react to a darling that after seeing how sad they get because of separation, or limited underwater time finds one of the mermaid transformation pills and surprises them with it?

I loved all of your siren stories so much but loved Simeon, Lucifer, and Asmodeus' the most. So maybe dealer's choice between them?

I'm glad you enjoyed them, underwater monsters are some of my favorites to write as I enjoy reading about marine life, and I agree I'd like to see some kind of future event around this though who knows... I didn't see the beach event, so I just made up shit as I went.

🧜‍♂️Yandere Siren Lucifer and Simeon🧜‍♂️ with an S/O who wants to become a Mer GN- Reader

Lucifer

The Struggles of Before

He thought it was cute seeing you pout or jump to him when he came back from being gone for so long his tail would dance behind him as he brought you into the shallow water, you wrapped in his arms.

At first he had a difficult time gauging how long and how far a human could dive and he admits to taking you too deep once because of it, though he has never stopped apologizing for that. The world beneath the sea is so bright and colorful, very different compared to life on land and being a mer had such a charm to it compared to an ordinary human.

He didn’t mind you being human at all; he enjoyed the differences the two of you had. It helped him have a broader view on even the littlest aspects of his life. Though if you mentioned you’ve wished to turn, he would let you explore the idea and mention there being a pearl that could fulfill that desire. He described its look, feeling, and where it was typically found but informed you that they’re rare and extremely difficult to find.

He does take a moment every once in a while to think of how enchanting you would be as a mer, perhaps you’d be a bright and shining mer with dazzling colors or perhaps deeper and darker colors more suited for twilight.

Seeing your transformation

You just happened to be strolling along the shore when you spotted an interesting looking object, discovering it to be exactly like what Lucifer described the pearl to be. You felt a bit of pride surge in you for finding something so incredibly rare just laying around.

When he returns home he feels something amiss and when he breaches the surface to call out for you. When he spots you, you can see his eyes go wide in a way you've never seen before. He doesn't say anything for a moment, but after some silence he asks you if you had your first breath underwater. He’ll lead you down into the water holding both of your hands as you flick your tail to follow and when you take a breath it feels no different than breathing air. He pulls you into his arms overjoyed to finally see how you would look and it's so much better than anything he could have imagined.

He does nag you for doing something like that without him there though, saying that something could have gone wrong or maybe you had misidentified what you had seen and taken something dangerous; however, if you kiss him he’ll stop and just relish the feeling.

When everything has calmed down he takes you to explore and shows you more of what the ocean has to offer though he demands you hold onto his hand. You're not used to your new body yet and he wants to keep an extra close eye on you until you are.

Adjusting to life After

It takes time for you to adjust to a tail rather than legs. Even if you're good at swimming it takes time to feel out your new more flexible limb and build muscles. You tire easily and your taste buds change, leaving you with a period of finding many foods that taste terrible, though starving you eat it regardless. Lucifer is able to find a palatable meal for both of you to enjoy.

During the time of adjustment he refuses to let you wander around by yourself and you must have him with you. He can’t trust anyone around you and he’s very content to have an excuse to keep you by his side 24/7.

After everything is settled he’s still sure to find a way to keep you by his side, now more than ever, since you can swim alongside him. He’s weary when he feels another siren around you; compared to sirens, you're much more of a gentle creature. He needs to protect you and keep everything away.

Now that you’ve become a mer he'll be thrilled to spend the rest of entirety with you. Together and bound.

Simeon

The Struggles of Before

He felt just the way you did. He got anxious when he had to part with you, always feeling sad having to leave you all alone, though that made reunions all the sweeter when he returned and called out for you with open arms and had you run into them. Oh it makes his heart sing when you run into his arms.

He did admit to you that he wished to take you farther and deeper to explore his home, but understood your human limitations; you can see how much he wished he could though. He’d give you a gentle smile and tell you you’re perfect the way you are, he fell in love with you, not your form.

Though if you told him you have an interest in changing, he tells you no matter what form you take he’ll love forever; though his shaking tail and blushing face give away how excited he is about the idea.

He tells you about the pearl, in a fairytale fashion, all while he is looking to see if you're entertained. He does let you know how rare they are but he'll find it for you if you truly wish to change.

He won't admit it since he doesn't want to influence your decision but he often fantasizes about how you'd look swimming with a dazzling mer tail playing along with the sea creatures, or as a fierce siren with large fangs and claws, powerful with no mercy.

Seeing your transformation

You just happened to be looking into the water when he was away hunting and found the exact pearl Simeon described. You scooped it up and gulped it down excited to find something so hard to find just in the cave.

Simeon comes home with alarm bells ringing and completely forgets his prey to swim like a bullet to you to make sure you're safe when he sees your new form in the water. He stops for a moment before a huge smile splits across his face and he is swimming up and tackling you while grabbing your hands, shoving his face into the crook of your neck and wrapping his tail around yours.

He's so excited you can tell he’s crying even in the water, he asks you if you're okay but it only takes a few words before he’s admiring every new detail, from the luster of your tail to the webbing of your fins.

He’s quick to ask if you’d like to go out with him, tugging your hand as he leads you out of your cave to the overlook of the dark depths and shows you some of his favorite spots all without letting go of your hand.

Adjusting to life After

Getting used to new limbs is a long and difficult process, your tail gets sore easily since it’s like a baby deer trying to walk for the first time. Not only that but your taste buds are slowly changing so your food preferences are changing. Simeon is there every step of the way and is extremely supportive of you.

Simeon brings you a wide variety of foods for you to try and he’s happy to prepare and feed it to you, his tail beating the ground as he playfully asks you to open wide. He now takes you out slowly so he can teach you how to hunt if you desire but he’s more than happy to provide for you.

Every once in a while Simeon will play with your tail like he did with your toes and admits he misses the little things but he’s still so happy you’ve decided to become what you are now and smothers you with affection.

Somehow he’s even more protective of you, now more than ever. He knows mers are much more gentle creatures than siren’s and he’s terrified of a siren finding you, so whenever you go out he’s right behind with fins flared keeping a hostile eye out for any threats.

He sleeps next to you in the water, tails wrapped around one another and his hands around you smiling as he finally has his happy ending with you. You're both together forever and will always be.