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chussyracing · 2 months ago

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what's been happening in the world of motorsports lately?

a long overdue summary which is not including absolutely everything but at least some important stuff. there is a lot, so i'm putting it under the read more button :)

Jack Doohan confirmed to partner Gasly in Alpine for 2025

Ferrari will be bringing upgrades for Monza (and Fernando had something to say about their performance over the next two races……)

after the court decided that Haas owes Uralkali they were told to send unspecified amount of money as unpaid sponsorship bid to them but their trucks were literally held hostage in Zandvoort (after Uralkali got help from Dutch court), not allowed to leave with the rest of the teams until the transaction was finalized and the money ended up in Uralkali’s account, but that is sorted for now so they don’t expect to miss out on Monza

Liberty Media are selling a share in F1 to have enough funds to get Moto GP

if you weren’t already tired of it, there is another rumour of Logan losing his seat mid-season, this time either to Mick or Liam Lawson that James Vowles apparently spoke to after Logan crashed in FP3 and ultimately broke the upgrades he was fitted with for the weekend (Wolff confirmed that Kimi won’t be going to Williams for the rest of the season but didn’t rule out Mick as he “offered” him to James… he might get sold to 1d you guys), there is also possibility for Franco Colapinto to actually choose from their own junior academy

Helmut Marko said that Liam Lawson will have a seat in one of their teams in 2025, Horner said he might be on loan to another team at the same time (choose your fighter)

Lewis’ current race engineer Bono (Bonnington) will stay in Mercedes and even gets a promotion as Head of Race Engineering after Lewis’ departure, while Lewis will inherit Ricky (Adami) from Carlos in Ferrari

also Checo’s race engineer is leaving for paternity leave, so they prepared a switch up to make his current performance engineer Richard Wood (sorry but you mean to tell me there is a guy and his name is Dick Wood????? in a world where Prince Albert is real well? ok) temporarily his race engineer

Toto had a lil Freudian slip and said that they had a small chance to get Max which has now passed but they are happy about their Goerge-Kimi line up for 2025

Kimi will also have junior outing in fp1 in Lewis’ car in Monza

there are rumours about a potential F1 race in Rwanda as Domenicali had more meetings to ensure that over the summer break, it should be a permanent track and not a street circuit, so I take this as a big win (now if only we took existing track and upgraded them instead of making new ones)

Lando’s gap between p1 and p2 was the biggest winning margin all season not as big as his ego though, knowing he said “simply lovely” after crossing the checkered flag as a dig at Max lol (Sauber drivers were lapped twice I think, as much for the cars being close in performance we thoughts we could see this year)

Alex was disqualified from quali in Zandvoort because his floor was outside of compliance of the rules, so he had to start from the pitlane although he got to p8 on merit

Liberty Media are officially under investigation for rejecting Andretti’s bid to become 11th team by the US Department of Justice’s antitrust division

Charles is on the new edition of Beyond the Grid podcast which is now also available in video form (all I saw about it so far is that he wants to win with Ferrari only and he believes they can do it, he name dropped Elon Musk ew and he said Leo pees everywhere)

Zak Brown refused McLaren would be signing Adrian Newey

Nina Gademan was the wildcard for Zandvoort’s F1 Academy race and she SLAYED

Isotta Fraschini ends in WEC before the season is done so you won’t see the only private team on the grid for the last three races

despite (or maybe because) being Ferrari reserve driver, Robert Schwartzman got a chance to have a junior outing in fp1 for Stake in Zandvoort

FIA officially banned asymmetrical brakes in fear it could bring advantage (in turns) – it can be either a reaction to someone’s grey area shady business this year or reaction to teams questioning the new technical rules for 2026 onwards

Oscar got his rib broken because of wrong seat/seating position and it happened around Austria/Silverstone, but he is fully healed by now

Audi is looking at Mick and Liam Lawson as some potential candidates for the seat (but also Valtteri and now apparently Robert Schwartzman and Guanyu too – Valtteri because he posted an Audi car with number 77 on it, Robert because of his junior outing in fp1 and Guanyu because of possible sponsorship deals)

Helmut Marko yapped about Seb Vettel and that it is no secret besides Red Bull he was asking one or two other teams if they have a free seat for him

there was also the one Kyle guy from??? Nascar I think? thinking he is overall better driver than Max Verstappen which is honestly just a bit funny

gentle reminder that the drivers now have to be way more careful on the radio about swearing and talking about stewards and race control, because FIA will now be penalizing such behaviour as misconduct (Ben Sulayem also linked it all to online abuse which is a campaign he focused on with his presidency)

Mattia Binotto will have “full responsibility” in Audi because they are apparently happy about how much experience he has, especially in the technical department

Peter Bayer said that if it goes like that Yuki will be considered for 2025 Red Bull seat

Peter Windsor said that one driver is doing rally testing in secret and doing good results among uncertain F1 future and that he won’t tell who it is but it’s not Max (and then Val was asked about it because he could be the one with uncertain future and he denied it)

Ferrari will be switching to pull-rod front suspension for 2025

Oscar started his own app similarly to Logan

Porsche said after they failed to partner with Red Bull, they closed the F1 chapter and don’t wanna pursue another entry into the series

David Malukas is no longer jobless, he signed multiyear contract with AJ Foyt in Indycar

Zane Maloney tested with IndyCar in Indianapolis

BBS won’t be supplying wheel rims after 2026 to everyone so it will be one of the parts teams can get from any supplier they wish

Domenicali wants more changes to the weekend structure in the future – probably more sprints and less FPs or none at all (or points for them), maybe even reverse grid

(not sure if I already wrote this down in previous round up but) Nyck de Vries will go to Super Formula starting round 5

Fionn McLaughlin and Scott Linblom joined Red Bull junior academy

the complaint against Horner has been dismissed (are you kidding me)

Marta Garcia debuted in GT racing in Ligier European Series JS2 R and lost podium from the first race due to penalty only to win the second race

Zak Brown is apparently trying to take away team’s veto/voting rights for the new Concorde Agreement that is being finalized for future decisions

Adidas is apparently in talks with Audi to become their clothing partner

Juri Vips was meant to drive an indycar race but I didn’t put enough effort into this to find out if he really did teehee :)

(Bonus from my fave gossipers: They are set on Newey going to Ferrari, the talks about Aston bring up his value though, something his manager Eddie Jordan is well aware of. Also there are talks about the Ferrari upgrades for Monza and that they will be black – deleted everything else because they already posted the black merch and suits so they were right about this lol)

#e #f1 #gossip night

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cementcornfield · 2 months ago

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an unfortunately hilarious way to describe how how the bengals fumbled this deal. listen here

transcription (and some commentary) below

they tried friday night, they even tried on saturday into saturday night, and it continued into sunday morning actually. they could not bridge the gap, it just was not happening. there were numbers that they couldn’t figure out. there was a cash flow issue, there was a years issue. the APY was fine. it would have surpassed justin jefferson but everything else was not there. and basically, this is exactly what justin jefferson went through last year. justin jefferson also wanted to get extended after his third year, the vikings could not bridge the gap. they made him play out his fourth year and eventually it all worked out and he just became the highest paid receiver after playing four years. ja’marr’s gonna go through the same thing. he’s gonna play through his fourth year and eventually at this time next year he’s gonna try to get extended and he was looking for 36 million a year right now. if he has a ja’marr chase type of year right now, ja’marr will be able to ask for 40 million dollars a year next year and he’s going to get it from the bengals. thats where it is.

again, i don’t know why some of these organizations decide to wait when you have the star players, just pay them because if you don’t it gets more expensive…i’ll tell you this much, ja’marr’s side? not happy about it. ja’marr himself? not happy about it as well. he thought the deal would get done, this has been four, maybe even five, months of negotiations and they thought they were on the doorstep a couple of times only for it to collapse, and we’ve said it a million times - the bengals do negotiations way different than every other team. they're way more annoying about it and this player experienced it for the first time and he’s not happy about it. but there’s nothing he can do about it, he’s gonna play through the year. he handled it with class and he’s onto playing week 2 where he should be fully healthy.

Okay so! pretty revealing stuff!

the cash flow thing. upon further research, this isn't the classic "oh boohoo the brown family is too poor!" but actually more about guaranteed money. it's cash flow for the player throughout the deal. the bengals tend to only guarantee a certain amount in the first (and very rarely the second) year of the deal. ja'marr's camp wanted more guaranteed money throughout the contract (which basically ensures security throughout the whole thing rather than risk being cut at the end, and could also prevent him from wanting to hold out/in because he wouldn't be making much per game towards the end). it seems like the bengals had a limit on the money they'd guarantee throughout six years, not because they couldn't, but because they wouldn't. (they are billionaires and are more than capable of drumming up more liquid cash if they really wanted to, but they don't want to.)

one thing i DO find comforting though is that we are not the only team to fuck this up lol. justin tried for an extension last year, and they also couldn't bridge the gap, making him play his fourth year first. and it all ended happily, he is the highest paid receiver now. and next year, ja'marr will be.

but! ja'marr is NOT happy right now. which sucks! he's a pro and i know he can put it behind him and focus on the game. but it's just such a bummer. hopefully he can use this as motivation and play pissed off/with a chip on his shoulder/whatever, but still, annoying it got to this point!

the confirmation about how annoying the bengals are as an organization to deal with from every single agent. it really shouldn't be a secret after jessie, tee, etc. and it's such a poor reflection on us that we supposedly didn't pay those guys to pay ja'marr, and we couldn't even get that right (we will eventually, but they've already used up any good will they had from ja'marr's side, and are going to have to pay way more now!)

#SIGH.#sorry just needed to get my thoughts out on this via rant.#i do recommend listening to the podcast for yourself! very informative!#like as depressing as i find all of this i also find it super interesting from a business persepective #but also like god fuck us so hard this is not a winning strategy and i genuinely don't know how much longer they can go on like this #ja'marr chase

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ilooklikeaburntchickenugget · 8 months ago

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Hey! I'm just in love with your Gerard fanfics. could you make one based on "the archer"? I love the angst of your fics. fem!reader please 🥺

Love this prompt!- coming from someone with anxiety lol

Title: The Archer

Word count: 2,233 words Pairing: Gerard Way x F!Reader Warnings: Anxiety, stress, throwing up (does that count as a warning?)

The internal chemical cocktail of anxiety, perfectionism, and pleasing other people had taken you long ways in your life. You had been outrageously successful for your age, the internal voice always yelling at you to do better. It constantly made sure you never got more than a second of happiness with accomplishments so you would long for the drug of endless accomplishments more and more.

You kept venerability hidden deep in the crevices of your veins and far beyond where the eye could see. You made sure you weaknesses were targeted and bullied by yourself first before someone could jump on the wound and pour more salt. You had already done that yourself. You had constantly ensured things were done way ahead of time even if that meant jumping out of bed at 3 am in an anxiety spiraling and working until the sun came up. You didn’t want to be a workaholic, or obsess over your image, or worry about your success. It was just an inherent part of who you were as a person.

It should have never been shocking that this led to tumultuous relationships that seemed to sink under the thunderstorm of your mind when the inevitable harsh waves of self-destruction settled beneath the ship. It was like clockwork, the way that relationships wouldn’t last longer than a year when those deep dark parts of you made themselves known and snaked their way around their body to cover you in a their effortless black ink. The only people that ever stayed were the ones who were aware of your imperfections and deep flaws, and took you as you were not questioning your continuous habits that led to explosions.

You were on letter 46 now to Gerard explaining you wanted to break up. Not because you didn’t love him or because he had done anything wrong. It was quite the opposite, you just knew you were too much of a danger and a liability to be standing next to him and take him down with you when you fell. Your leg feverously bounced up and down to no particular rhythm as you attempted to formulate every feeling you had without outrightly telling him what they were. This would probably end up shredded in your trash can anyways, as the other 45 had.

“I want to let you in” was the last thing you were able to write, “But I can’t trust anyone in there.”

You were in a funk, something that you usually found yourself in maybe once a month. The biggest problem with this funk, is it happened to fall on a date with Gerard. Not just any date, but your one year anniversary. It was clearly a celebration to anyone looking into the little house of a relationship you had built, but to you it was a funeral.

Your anxiety felt like it was up to your throat today, and you couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from. But doing your makeup was the biggest pain in your ass right now, especially on try number 11 for eyeliner that kept coming off too blotchy. “Fuck!” You whisper yelled as you messed it up again, throwing the pen into the bathtub and aggressively scrubbing the already throbbing red skin with another makeup wipe as it stung with each rub.

You wanted to cry, but that would have made your mascara fuck up and then your entire face ruined. But looking at yourself in the mirror right now, all you noticed was the slight discoloration of all the things you did wrong today on your face. The pimple you tried to cover up with layers of concealer after a stress-induced break out. The ever so slightly different shades of blush since your brush stroked weren’t perfect on both sides.

There were only 20 minutes left until Gerard was here, and knowing him he would actually be a bit early. You decided to bail on the mascara and just try to fix your makeup without overdoing it or completely wiping it off. You would have to live with feeling out of place and self-conscious tonight, because at this point you didn’t have an option.

A subtle knock came on your door. You took a deep, strong breath in and out before putting your game face on, putting on the best fake smile you could (which was pretty damn believable) and grabbed your bag. You opened the door to a dressed up Gerard (a relatively rare occurrence) with a sly smile on his face and flowers in his hand. “Hey, sweetheart.” He opened up with as you forced yourself to smile wider.

“Hey, Gee.” You said back, letting him give you a small kiss on the lips. You took the flowers from his graciously, thanking him and putting them on your counter before leaving and closing the door behind you. The small typical formalities were exchanged, trying to start conversation, but you had always hated the question, “Are you alright?” Which of course he had to ask.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You smiled up at him although deep inside you were screaming you weren’t. “Just a long day, that’s all.” You were thankful he didn’t push more, but that always opened up the negative part of the entire thing, which was the sneaking intuition that he knew it was much more than “just a long day”. As you got into his car he quickly plugged in directions to get you to the restaurant, and as much as you wanted to talk and say something you found no motivation or driver in you to do so.

He seemed to respect that boundary, but within five minutes of the drive had quickly realized that going out to a fancy restaurant with lots of people was not a good idea. First it was your inability to look at him and just outside the window. Then your leg that began bouncing up and down shockingly fast. Finally it was fiddling with your finger tips and clearly being lost in your thoughts while doing so.

“Ya know, we don’t need to go to a fancy restaurant to celebrate this.” He began at a red light, you looked up at him for the first time the entire ride and for the first time since seeing you today, your eyes seemed to light up just a bit. “I mean, that’s so unlike us.” He further explained, “Why don’t we just like, go home, and order take out.” You nodded your head. “I mean, if it’s not a problem-““Not at all.” He softly smiled, ending the directions and turning the car around.

You were still a bit standoffish and generally distant throughout the night. It didn’t take a genius to realize your mind was running 100 miles a minute and it definitely didn’t take longer than a few minutes for Gerard to figure that out either. Especially with your favorite dish sitting in front of you as you forced small bites that you clearly did not enjoy. He hated to see you like this, and wondered why, but tried not to make a scene as you were clearly trying your best to act normal and not cause anything either.

You eventually stopped eating and sat there for a few moments as if trying to focus on something, “Baby?” He finally asked, realizing your face was shading over a bit pale and eyes wide, “What’s wrong?”

“I think I’m gonna throw up.” Was all you said, bolting up and speed walking to the bathroom with your mouth covered. He was close behind you, finally reaching the bathroom only to see you over the toilet seat and belching everything you had eaten that day out. He sighed, kneeling down beside you and holding your hair firmly in his hand, rubbing your back. When you were finally done, your body slouching against the wall and chest heaving, he ran his fingers through your hair to soothe you. As soon as you had calmed down a bit more, he brought a cool, wet towel to your face placing it against your forehead.

“Honey,” He said, giving you a kiss on the top of your head, “What’re you stressing about?” You huffed and closed your eyes knowing he would see right through you.

“How come you just- you’re too good at this.” You responded as he gave a sympathetic smile, “You’re not supposed to worry about my stress.”“I am supposed to worry about it when you’re throwing up your entire day, practically shaking, and your eyes are unable to focus on one thing.” He sighed, “Is it work? Friends? Family? I can try to help-““No, it’s none of that.” You explained with groan as your head got shot through with a rough ache. You took another moment to compose yourself. “It’s all of this.”“All of this?”“Yes, this.” You replied, “I’m being vulnerable and as soon as that happens the relationship starts dying.” He wanted to scoff at that but kept it to himself.

“Pretty sure the entire point of a relationship is to be with each other through good and bad.” He explained. “Baby, it may be easy to hide anxiety from other people, but you’re dating someone who also has anxiety. It doesn’t slide that easy.”“I’m supposed to be put together though,” You rebutted, “Like- shit always goes downhill from here.”“It’s not going to with me,” He assured, “If anything, I’m glad we’re talking through this so I can help you in the future.”“You sound like my parents,” You rolled your eyes which he smiled at, “Or like a therapist. Maybe both.”

“Baby, just tell me what’s on your mind.” He pleaded, “Please?” You took a small sigh, collecting yourself for the continuous waterworks of emotions that were bound to start erupting as soon as you began your explanation.

“Just- a lot is happening right now in life and on top of the amount of worry I already have I’m worried this is going to end. They all do, every relationship has, so this one’s bound to. And it feels like I’m drowning here in constant worry and like waters in my throat and like I-“ You took a small moment to catch your shaky breath, “Like I can’t do this.”

He sat across from you on the tile bathroom floor with a look of sympathy of his face. He didn’t respond for a few seconds. You wondered if it was because he wanted to give you time and space to breathe, or if he was formulating and unsure what to say. Maybe both.

“Thank you for sharing that with me,” Was how he started. “What can I do to help life some of this off of you? Especially the relationship part?”“I don’t know and that’s what’s so damn frustrating.” You sighed out, still holding the now drying washcloth on your forehead and closing your eyes for a few seconds. “You do everything right already. Literally fucking perfectly. And my mind still won’t let me be convinced you’re gonna stay.”

“I know this isn’t going to help much, but I will never leave you.” He began, “Even if you don’t believe me, I just need to put it out there. And if for whatever reason, I did, I would talk to you first about why and looking at how we could fix stuff.” You sat for a few moments just staring at him. “Do you trust me?”

You nodded.

“Then know that I promise you that much. Okay?” You nodded again. “Why don’t I draw you a bath, hm?”

“Yes, please.” You said lightly, now removing the towel from your head as your lightheadedness began to slip away. “Can you join me?” You asked a moment later as he was already up, reaching over the tub and starting the water. He looked back at you with a small smile.

“Of course,” He replied.

It was not sensual or sexual, it was peaceful. You needed the skin to skin with him to feel grounded, to remind yourself that it was real, what he said was true. You knew deep down he was right: he would never leave you, and if he was thinking about it he would talk to you first. He knew too much about you and your worried and psyche to just break up with you. He knew it would hurt you, and you knew he would never hurt you.

“Happy anniversary, baby.” He whispered into your ear from where he sat behind you, your back flush against his chest. You smiled.

“Happy anniversary to you too,” You said back, grabbing one of his hands to toys with his fingers. You did this whenever you became a bit nervous as a method to calm yourself down. “This really has been the best year of my life.” You could feel the smile growing on his lips that grazed your shoulder.

“Gonna give you a lifetime of best years ever.” He told you with a level of confidence in his voice that rebutted all the conflicting anxieties stirring in your mind. You let your muscles go, all the tension relating and melting into him.

“You’re so sure about me?” You asked, craning your next a bit to make eye contact with him.

“I don’t think I’ve been more sure about anything in my life.”

#my chemical romance #gerard way #my chem #my chemical gee #my chemical gerard #gerard way x reader #gerard way x y/n #gerard way fanfiction #mcr gerard #gerard way x you

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crypticmillipede · 11 months ago

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actually should i just drop a completely unprompted long take on The Sun and The Star?? nobody asked for this but my audience is 1, and it is me. behold, my list:

Things I Liked:

Nico book!! yeah Nico book, book for Nico!!

Seriously though, this was such an awesome book for queer representation. Nico was such an icon for queer kids like me growing up, at a time when it wasn’t very common to see gay people in media, and he had a happy ending! it’s really cool that he has his own book, and kids today will have this.

Nico and Will were compelling characters, they were well-written and play off each other nicely!

They gave Nico PTSD, which I thought actually made a lot of sense and seemed realistic for his situation. I mean, the guy’s been through a lot.

nostalgia. plain and simple. i am simply biased to like this book bc it is Percy Jackson-related.

Things I Disliked:

i was super surprised that Nico was relatively cool with Will coming to Tartarus with him, especially given the prophecy? i thought Will would have to sneak down there! felt strange that Nico would be pretty chill with his boyfriend coming to Literal Hell with him, especially since it’s a major source of his PTSD.

Will didn’t bring a weapon?? Nico was like “eh whatever” when it came to packing food? it’s TARTARUS ! be so much more serious i am begginggg you.

I wish they’d done more with his PTSD? i mean, he had the dreams, but it turns out those were sent by Nyx, so what really was the extent of his ptsd? Especially going back to tartarus, it might’ve been more meaningful for him to shut down or freeze up in an important moment, or exhibit more symptoms throughout the book

GOD parts of it were cringe. “cocoa puffs”?? be so fr. ik theyre teens, and teens are ABSOLUTELY cringe, but this didn’t feel like teen cringe, it felt more like “older people trying to write teen lingo” cringe

going to Percy’s mom’s house felt super shoe-horned in. i can maybee understand wanting to iris-message Percy and Annabeth, but the whole “we don’t know his schedule thing” was a pretty thinly-veiled excuse

the reveal that Nico was playing Mythomagic in the 40s???? ?? this was such a small detail but it really got to me. no WAY have the “greek pokémon cards” been around 80 YEARS. broke my immersion lol

They didn’t have to drink from the Phlegethon once? What happened to the acid air! i know they were eating a lot of ambrosia, but if that was healing them, it’d be nice if the book explicitly mentioned it. and like, they slept there overnight, and not one mention of their throats hurting bc of the,, poison air? i mean this was a majorrr mechanic of percy and annabeth’s time there! they mentioned it like once or twice i think, but that was about it.

also, in the tartarus flashback, Nico didn’t know what the Phlegethon was! yk, one of only 5 rivers that flows through the Underworld?? the one that’s essential to its ecosystem bc it ensures the tortured stay alive?? as someone who’s very familiar with the underworld, there’s no way he wouldn’t know what it was- if Annabeth would recognize it, he would too!

In general, the descriptions of Tartarus were toned way down from Percy and Annabeth’s experience. i reread HoH in preparation for when this book came out, and you can really tell the difference.

I think at one point in HoH, the true nature of Tartarus was revealed to Percy, and he said something like, “this must’ve been how Nico experienced Tartarus the whole time” and that always stuck with me. turns out, not really? and the book made up new mechanics about the “true nature” being revealed the longer you stayed there, which wasn’t really a thing in HoH

Nyx was a weird villain. why would a protogenos care about some random demigod “coming to the dark side”?? demigods are like ants to her. and Nico is like, a well-established hero, who’s consistently characterized as someone who is very good, and looks out for the forgotten. he’s been through some things, but his “goodness” has never reallyyy been in question (except for like, a tinyyy bit of the 4th pjo book, but still, not really)

What was the purpose of Nyx sending Nico those nightmares, when Bob was already the set trap? even Nico mentioned it was redundant, but then the authors never elaborated on it

Nico’s demons were a cool reveal, but I don’t see how they fulfilled the prophecy at all. are they really of equal value to a Titan? and Nico’s emotions are still inside him, they’re just also manifested on the outside too now. Plus, the cacodemons came with him, so he didn’t even leave them behind?? When I originally heard the prophecy, I thought maybe Bob’s essence would split from Iapetus, and they’d leave the evil titan behind while escaping with Bob. Honestly, i still think that makes more sense than what actually happened.

Wasn’t Bianca reincarnated?? how were they able to have that conversation?? ig it could be written off as “hades’ magic or whatever” but it felt like a MAJOR oversight

WHERE was Hazel??? that made no sense. she was such a big part of Nico’s life in HoO, i don’t know if they mentioned it even once?? Why in the world would Nico call Piper at the end? ik it made sense thematically, since Piper is also queer, but it felt so shallow and surface level. like “ooh let’s have the two gay characters talk”. in reality Nico and Piper never talked in HoO, it really doesn’t make sense for them to talk now, as the final part of the book? where is his sister?? it honestly would’ve been nice to see her reaction to his queerness as well, since she’s from another century. it could’ve been a cool little “being from a different time is not an excuse for homophobia, look hazel’s an ally” thing! idk lol i just wanted to see her again

THEY DIDN’T RESCUE DAMASEN :-( made a whole nother post about this one.

Things Other People Disliked That I Thought Were Fine, Actually:

people said Nico was OOC, but i thought he was pretty in line with the Nico of ToA. A year or so has passed since the Nico of HoO, and this is the first time he’s been in a really good place. He’s allowed to act happy!

some people reallyyy hated Will in this book, but i thought he was alright. he was a flawed character, but it’s good when characters have flaws! plus he was like half-awake and drained for most of the book, obv he’s not gonna be on his best behavior!

i saw people saying the book was too sappy, but i think it was alright! was it sappy? yeahhh. but like, it was a book explicitly for queer representation, go big or go home right? i’m glad kids today have this!

i saw a lot of people arguing that the book was cringe, in CONTRAST to the previous percy jackson books. and yea, it was cringe sometimes. but this is a well-established precedent within the percy jackson series !!! i hatee to say this but. be so genuine and fr with me rn. are you gonna tell me “seaweed brain” “wise girl” isn’t,,, cringe? the quips have ALWAYS been “erm, it’s right behind me, isn’t it?”-style. i knowww it’s hard to hear but the only difference is that we’re older now and can recognize it.

people were arguing that Tartarus was Percy and Annabeth’s thing, and that sending Nico down there with Will was infringing on that. but i reallyy disagree. Nico was the FIRST person down there, and he did it alone! if Tartarus was anyone’s “thing”, it’d be Nico’s. and besides, if you’re gonna make a Nico and Will-centric book, what better way then to send them through the gauntlet of Tartarus, symbolically saying that their journey was just as valid as Percy and Annabeth’s?

Anyways, there’s my extremely long take on TSaTS. I know it seems like i had a lot of negative things to say about it, but i actually really liked the book overall. Did it have questionable writing choices and weird moments of characterization? yeah a little bit. but i still enjoyed it so much! Absolutely feel free to disagree with me, i’m actually really curious to see what other people thought of the book!!

#the sun and the star #the sun and the star spoilers #tsats spoilers #tsats #nico di angelo #will solace #percy jackson #percy jackson spoilers #pjo hoo toa #my posts

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sunset-synthetica · 1 year ago

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Hi, cybersleeve anon here! I hope you don’t mind, but I have more meta and criticisms I’d like to talk about

Something that’s been bothering me about Earthspark is the way that everybody (in show and out) is acting like it’s ONLY Optimus’s responsibility to work towards peace. They say he’s just locking Decepticons up without a second thought, but that isn’t true as in the VERY FIRST EPISODE we see him calmly approaching Swindle and Hardtop and asking them to surrender, promising a peaceful life, and only attacks after they fire the first shot. Yeah he doesn’t offer the same to the cassettes and seekers, but they were ACTIVE threats, the cassettes running around and wreaking havoc and the seekers shooting at humans. And it’s so frustrating they way everyone is acting like Optimus keeps dismissing the Cons and refusing to consider their point of view, but he IS trying!!! It’s just that communication is a two-way street, and that Optimus isn’t fucking responsible for everybody else and their actions!!! If nobody ever brings up their grievances with him (and he’s made it clear he’ll be willing to listen) how the fuck is he supposed to help???

And don’t even fucking get me started on Megatron. Yes, he did protest Optimus attacking the cassettes, but doing so while Optimus is being actively shot at is NOT the time to do so. And then he complains about the restraining devices, which COULD be fair, but why is it only those? We’ve seen stasis cuffs before in other continuities, and restrained prisoners like with Warp and Nova Storm, and he didn’t protest. So why was he suddenly uncomfortable???

It honestly feels like Megatron is too cowardly to own up to his actions. Warp and Novastorm were cool, because HE didn’t restrain them, but when it came to the cassettes, he was suddenly uncomfortable with taking a more active role. If he truly was a better person, he should have voiced that, and genuinely worked for better treatment.

And here we can circle back to my first point, and acknowledge the fact that everyone is pushing a responsibility onto Optimus that should be MEGATRON’S. The Decepticons are HIS soldiers, HE was in charge of commanding and protecting them, but he hasn’t really done anything to help them. Megatron should be their voice, Megatron should be advocating for them, Megatron should be acknowledging his fucking responsibility towards them and ensuring that his soldiers understand his actions and that they can work to a peaceful solution. It isn’t OPTIMUS’S job to care for MEGATRON’S army. But this seems to be a pattern in fandom and shows, where everybody treats Optimus like some omniscient demigod who is personally responsible for protecting the feelings of every single other fucking person. He does have responsibilities to his soldiers, and he fulfills those to the very best of his abilities. But Megatron gets off scot-free, nobody ever pointing out how Megatron deserted his faction and got to live a free and happy life, and everyone else locked up. It’s just so frustrating, because everybody treats Optimus as if him making one mistake like accidentally raising his voice will cause the world to collapse, while they treat Megatron like a person, and a very privileged one who is completely above the law at that.

(Previous anon who asked if their ask got deleted lol. Luckily I drafted it elsewhere in case Tumblr fucked up while I was writing, so I hope you dont mind me sending it again!)

Yeah it's just. Fucking tiring. Megatron gets treated like a hero overcoming his past mistakes (genocide) (working with fucking Shockwave. a eugenecist???) and is so brave for speaking up against GHOST without soing a single thing to actually challenge them. "They abuse my Decepticons" boohoo bitch you abuse Starscream.

Optimus is, on the other hand, the Bad Guy and solely responsible for the Decepticons apparently.

If Earthspark were competently written, we could have gotten the same dynamic but from a different, more realistic and complex angle. But alas.

#asks

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lambentplume · 1 year ago

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alright i’m literally going to save this for when i go see my therapist again so um. no one needs to read or respond at all i just can’t sit up or grip a pencil rn so i’m laying in bed writing this. lol. please god i hope readmore works i am so sorry

it’s getting really dire out here. so i work part time at a cafe which is dying due to managerial neglect/chronic overstaffing/being under resourced and that pays me $12/hr plus tips. i’m still recovering from the time our espresso machine (which is. a major source of appeal for a fucking espresso based cafe) broke… the job that USUALLY ensures i have enough to live is now not enough. i also have two internships that total 25 hours per week and they’re both in separate but not unrelated fields that i’m Thinking about going into. both of which are relatively easier on my body and i like the work so far.

the issue is that i’ve been in my head for SO LONG about what kind of job i should be working. i was going to have a full spiral earlier today but thank god the shift ended lol. bc my coworker is a polisci/ethnic studies major, we were talking about positionality and the ways that academia, eapecially the western idea of “social sciences” (which is . what i study) exploita the communities it studies when not done with careful critical or community-based methodology. and as someone who wants to potentially join investigators studying the social ramifications of labor done in the specific context that i grew up in, from a worker’s and also generational and also academic jargon perspective (side note: i genuinely think there is a case for connecting the modern exploitative tourist hospitality industry to underserved communities’ ability to seek help and thrive like STRUCTURALLY in terms of the way these schedules are fucking built) i’m kind of… working my way up the ladder. learning research methodologies by doing that ground-level work and pushing paper for the PIs who actually do the Cool Work. AND ALSO STILL WORKING ON MY BACHELORS WHILE BEING A RENT PAYER … i also finally admitted to this coworker that i dropped out of the US east coast PWI i went to in order to come home bc i couldn’t handle it socially and i feel like. being a poc who has living relatives who worked on plantations and who is CONSTANTLY reminded that i have far more privilege than i could ever grasp etc is making me feel a little insane. like my dad Doesn’t talk to me about it because he does Not feel like articulating it and i’m Never going to understand which is true. like i will Never Understand. i should be a bit happier that the internships are paying me more just to sit and do brainwork instead of busting ass and people pleasing all day but i’m so afraid. of . being . incompetent. that i just work because i’m happy to work i need to feel useful i need everything to add up so bad. i need more than one full day off from responsibilities but i can’t afford it. i’m going to fall behind and not be good at anything and forget big theses if i can’t even pay rent. like what IS the point!! other more eloquent and better-equipped and driven people who know what they want should have it! i will just shrink my presence until i shrivel away!!!!!!!! god.

and then i feel the need to legitimize my hobbies and interests like bro 😭😭😭 who fucking cares if i miss the OT 5th anny people are drawing pieces bc they feel like it!!!

this is WHY i can’t chase clout this is why i didn’t go to risd this is why i dropped out of brown. so why am i still attached to the idea that i need to be institutionally validated (THERE IS MONEY IN INSTITUTIONAL VALIDATION. END UNDERPAYMENT I WANT TO KERMIT!!!!)

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jennagrinsoverml · 3 years ago

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hey, could you rec some of the most underrated identity reveal fics in your opinion? i love a good creative identity reveal! ps your fic rec lists are a literal godsend 🥰

So since you asked for underrated, I'm going to stick to the rules of my hidden gems series and try to only rec fics that have less than 500 kudos on AO3. Also, the identity reveal needs to be a feature of the story and not just incidental. I actually had a rec list like this started ages ago, but this one's pretty time intensive in terms of going through the fics and ensuring that the identity reveal is actually a focus. (Which is all to say sorry it took a little while.) Thank you for your kind words. I’m so happy people are enjoying my recs!

lost in translation by @fictionalinfinity

“What do you mean I can’t be Ladybug anymore?”

“I’m sorry, Marinette. With Hawkmoth at large, it’s simply too dangerous for the Miracle Box and the Ladybug Miraculous to be in the same place. If something were to happen...”

In which Marinette has to give up the Ladybug Miraculous, and decides Adrien Agreste is the perfect choice for the new holder.

One-shot. So I’ve seen a few fics with Chat giving Marinette a miraculous, but how about Marinette trying to give one to Adrien?

Santa Baby, Slip a Superhero into a Box for Me by therealjanebingley

There's an akuma with the ability to give everyone their heart's desire for Christmas.

But when your heart's desire is your crush, and your crush has a secret identity...who's going to show up under your tree?

Multi-chapter. This is such a creative reveal and one that hasn't received nearly enough love. Adrien's heart's desire is Ladybug. Marinette's heart's desire is Adrien. But that's not exactly what they get when they're hit by the akuma. This is so sweet and fun and funny! And the characterizations are spot on.

team is a four letter word by @ladyofthenoodle

Alya didn’t want to come between Ladybug and Chat Noir. But she didn’t want to stop being Rena Rouge either. And if Chat Noir didn’t want to talk to her, then she’d need to find a different way to prove all three of them could be a team.

Her plan unintentionally brings a few secrets to light, which leads to even more secrets coming to light, which leads to... well, Alya is sure it'll all work out eventually.

Multi-chapter. Warning, this fic is a WIP! I'm obssessed with this one. Season 4 spoilers all over the place, but the dynamics between Marinette & Adrien & Alya & Nino, the characterization, the emotion, the different perspectives and distinct voices!!!! I'm sure once it's complete it's going to zoom past that 500 threshold, but it's so, so good, I'm going to rec it while I can lol

The Angst of Adrien Agreste and Chinese Finger Traps by @coffeebanana

Chat Noir gets gets his fingers stuck in a toy he can't get out of, and Marinette wasn't expecting Adrien to show up to school the next morning with the toy she'd given Chat Noir.

SEASON 4 SPOILERS (Gang of Secrets, Optigami)

One-shot. This should be crack, but it's not. While the vehicle for the reveal sounds ridiculous, the fic does a great job of delving into the underlying issues season 4 has been brewing and actually addressing them in a way that doesn't feel like crack at all.

can i try again (and again and again)? by @karkalicious769

"I won't force you to stay if you're really done," Marinette whispers, voice cracking. "Just… tell me why?" It's a request, not an order.

He takes a deep breath, his heart hammering in his chest. Chat still isn't holding her back, but he's relaxed somewhat, and if that's all Marinette is going to get, then she'll take it. "I…" He searches for the right words. "I thought that I should just rip the bandage off," Chat says quietly. "Get it over with myself before you took my miraculous back anyway."

After his spectacular failure in New York, Adrien relinquishes his ring and role as Chat Noir. Unfortunately for him, Ladybug isn't ready to let him go.

One-shot. NY Special fic where Marinette prioritizes her partner over keeping their secrets. This one hurts, but in a really good way, and it's so well done and feels so true to the characters.

The Handkerchief by meeble

This was their new normal. They slipped into it much more easily than she’d expected. Well, it was easy for her, since she knew him well as Ladybug, but she had been admittedly surprised at how easily Chat seemed to want to know her.

It was a learning experience, in a way. Sometimes, Marinette forgot that there was a boy under the mask. A boy her age, who also had hopes and fears and good days and bad days. A boy who had a rocky family life, who was kind and didn’t want to hurt his friends, a boy who cried at Disney movies and preferred macaroons over any kind of cookie.

And they were friends. That alone made her feel good. She had forgotten, in the midst of everything going on, that she and Chat were supposed to be friends on top of partners. Maybe she had taken that for granted.

One-shot. This is some quality Marichat. I love when the focus is on that platonic friendship that slowly becomes something more. Especially when the two of them spending more time together leads to an eventual identity reveal so that everything can come together and they can be happy together.

Better Half by @somethingvaguetodo

It made no sense to say that she was in love with Chat Noir. Just because they used loving pet names for each other, she liked to sit wrapped up in his arms, and he gave her a kiss goodnight didn’t mean anything. Rena had no clue what she was talking about.

One-shot. This one is amazing because they're both just. So Stupid. The denial is master level and these two are so stupid in love with each other that they reveal themselves in such a stupid way and this is all said (affectionate) because this is quality love square shenanigans right here and I love it a stupid amount.

Revealing Behavior by Socchan

Adrien's attitude takes a turn for the worse when Ladybug reveals her identity to the wrong side of him.

One-shot. This fic is like identity reveal inside of an identity reveal with reveals both deliberate and accidental. And it goes exactly the way I wanted it to with exactly the right level of misunderstandings and stupidity and pining and I really love it!

A Series of Meets: Reach by @damagectrlwrites

Paris is safe, except from the rivalry of its two superhero guardians: Ladybug and Chat Noir. Since they were teenagers, the two have raced around Paris, trying to out do-good each other.

After Chat Noir saves a bus of people from falling into the Seine before Ladybug can even get there, Adrien is in high spirits. He helps a young woman reach some chips high on a shelf, kicking off a friendly conversation that ends with a coffee date.

It’s a terrible day for Marinette. First she had a hectic day at work, then Chat Noir gets all the praise for saving a bus of people, and then she nearly topples over trying to reach some chips. At the very least, a nice guy helps her and asks her to coffee. Surely, things will get better, right?

One-shot as a chapter of a collection of one-shots. (I recommend them all but we're just talking about this one right now.) So I debated including this one since it's an AU and I've recced it before. Ladybug and Chat Noir are superhero rivals, always trying to outdo each other, and being annoyed at the other. Marinette and Adrien get a meet-cute and fall in love. The juxtaposition is perfect and ridiculous and THAT IDENTITY REVEAL OMG I had to include it, it's so good!!

The following fics are amazing and absolutely worth reading, but do feature sexual content, so minors beware.

The Pole Kit and Kaboodle by @chatonne-rousse

When Adrien tries to make getting undressed a bit more entertaining for Marinette, he ends up revealing more than just his underwear.

Rated M. Established adrienette that features them being sexy and silly and hopelessly in love. I love this fic so damn much!!! Watch Adrien being comfortable being ridiculous with Marinette and do a ridiculous (hilarious) striptease for her. Bonus identity reveal that just makes everything even better.

Rated M. One-shot. Definitely one of the most unique reveals I've ever read. I mean a pole dancing reveal?? It's funny and sweet and loving and just so, so good. This fic is the reason that Rosie and I became friends because after I read it I had to read all of her other fics and spam her with comments. But I'm 100% unbiased in this rec because I loved the fic first and the reveal and the post-reveal emotions are EVERYTHING.

@devillustrator | nsfw art blog | will draw for €€€ by @isadorator

Nathaniel is a Starving Artist™ that regularly gets commissioned by Adrien to draw fluffy and cute LadyNoir art. But everything changed when the Hormone Nation attacked.

Rated E. This two-part series is Ladrien with the sexiest identity reveal I’ve ever read in my entire life and possibly my favourite reveal of all time!! We’ve got humour and sexiness and I’ve read this an embarrassing number of times. This is the kind of fic that, every time I read it I’m like “I wish there were 5,000 other fics in the fandom exactly like this one.” Seriously, I don't know why y'all are sleeping on this one but it's so, so good. Adrien's reaction literally made my entire life.

#miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #ml fic recs #fic rec #adrienette #adrinette #ladrien #marichat #ml love square #ml lovesquare #identity reveal #jennarecsml

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tarysande · 3 years ago

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Oh no, I've been thinking.

Okay, I can't stop thinking about something ending-related. I don't know this for certain, but based on previous statements and such, it feels like the writers were always aiming for a bittersweet ending. Like, no matter what else happened or how the story evolved, come hell (lol) or high water, that ending couldn't just be happy. For reasons. I guess.

Now, I don't mind a bittersweet ending ... if it makes sense for the ending to be bittersweet.

I critique stories for a living. I'm literally taking a break from the developmental edit of someone's novel to write this post. And the persistent thought that bugs me about the Rory setup is that it is so artificial. Time travel is a pain in the narrative ass. Time travel suddenly introduced in the sixth season of a show that has never touched on time travel? As an editor, I probably would've pointed out that time travel for the purpose of angst, especially time travel without rules that make sense ("I don't know anything about time travel! Except I do know you have to take the most painful path!"), seemingly introduced as a final ploy to make that bittersweet ending work ... well, to me, it breaks the narrative contract they established with the audience. Your audience is going to be confused. An editor's job is to alert the writer to any potential confusion so it can be fixed before the story goes to print, etc. Confused audiences get mad, annoyed, frustrated. They feel hurt. They put down the book and don't pick it up again. Usually, writers don't want that. But they're so close to their work that they need a completely outside perspective to say, "Hey, I'm not sure you realize this, but..."

I mean, I keep referring to Rory as "deus ex daughter" because in literary terms, she is a blatant deus ex machina. Rory is the god in the machine of the Bittersweet Ending.

Now, I loved a lot of S6. I did. My overall feeling about the season is not negative. But ... I can't stop thinking about why the things I didn't like REALLY didn't work for me.

I loved the emotional growth we saw in Lucifer and Chloe facilitated by the question of parenting and parental love. I did. And I would have loved to see a lot of those notes hit not with an angel kid out of nowhere ... but with the daughter already in the picture. Especially because it would have circumvented the icky idea that a child has to be one's flesh and blood to induce such feelings. I also understand that coronavirus and Scarlett's age and schedule made this difficult. But I just can't swallow that the only way to wrap up the story of this show--a show about found family, non-traditional family, friendship, connection, FREE WILL, love in all its many shapes and forms and colors ... was to introduce a brand new character via a device (time travel) that fails to make sense almost every time it's used, no matter the medium. (And then had only that brand new character be there when her mother died. Don't even get me started. Ugh.)

If time travel was always going to be on the table, couldn't we have found a more plausible way to use it with the characters we already knew, loved, and had spent four or five seasons with? A time-travelling older Trixie, say? If you're going to use the impossible device, just ... twist it another way to make it work.

Okay. Okay. So, leaving Trixie aside for now just like the show did, let's say we leave everything about the season the same, even Rory. Do you know what ending makes more narrative sense?

Future Rory sacrificing herself by NOT forcing Lucifer to make a cruel and impossible "choice" so the baby that might have been her grows up with a family that loves her. Chloe's already pregnant. That's not going to be undone. And this nonsense of a "closed time loop" falls apart if you side-eye it for even a few seconds. The Rory who came from the future never exists except in the memories of those she met when she came back from that future. Chloe and Lucifer lose that daughter even as they gain the new one whose existence is not a tool of unrelenting fate because wow this show has always been about free will what the heck happened there yikes. And a choice made under the duress Chloe and Lucifer were under, forced out of them, and forcing them to "choose" a life apart for *handwave* Reasons has nothing to do with free will. A "choice" made at gunpoint is not a real choice. Future Rory basically bullied them into ensuring she got to exist--something, quite frankly, neither her parents would have done.

Instead, how much more appropriately bittersweet is it if Chloe and Lucifer lose that child while gaining one who, because of that angry time-travelling version, will never suffer as she did.

Also as an editor: the groundwork for my version is already laid, by the way. It should have been Rory learning about the importance of free will over fate. The importance of personal sacrifice. The importance of not thinking your young self knows best ... because experience and therapy will help rid you of that self-centered world view. That's the contract the writers made with us with this show. And Chloe and Lucifer have already BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT. (See: the end of S4.)

Furthermore, this season finally HAD Chloe and Lucifer DEAL WITH the only thing that actually would have contributed to a narrative, characterization-based reason for Lucifer to disappear: His history of running and his putting Chloe on a pedestal. Once they really talked that out, his "disappearance" became a Rory-induced trauma of inexplicable fate that flies in the face of all the progress Lucifer made over six seasons. (I would rather have had more of that and less of mysterious disappearing oh no plot.)

And I'm sorry, the "Once you get to Hell you're going to work 24/7" excuse given for why Lucifer won't be around and why he can't make time for Chloe until she's DEAD(????!???) is ... it's lame. If AMENADIEL AS GOD can make time for his kid's birthday party, I refuse to believe Lucifer can't work out some Hell/Earth-work/life balance. Never mind that in the show about partnerships, the Bittersweet Ending just ... destroyed it. Chloe was planning on being God's consultant; she could have helped Lucifer solve Hell's Trauma Mysteries (it's what she did with Jimmy, setting up that yeah, Lucifer could do it alone like he accidentally did with Lee, but doing it with HIS TRUTHSEEKING PARTNER would be more effective). Just as Lucifer could have continued helping HER solve some of the problems within "that corrupt little organization" of hers.

tl;dr: I think the writers fixated so completely on their version of Bittersweet that they missed all the foreshadowing, groundwork, and clues that were right there, already built into the story, poised for a different kind of ending than the one they once imagined. That's why so many parts of it feel almost-but-not-quite right and why these aspects are so off-putting. That's why it's just not ... organic. It's something squeezed into a box it grew out of ages ago.

Ironically, certain elements of this season involved the writers insisting on the FATE they decided long ago instead of letting the story and the characters have the FREE WILL to choose a different, more fitting, more organic ending--one that had long-since evolved past that original flavor of Bittersweet.

#lucifer on netflix #lucifer morningstar #chloe decker #trixie espinoza #aurora morningstar #deckerstar #lucifer meta #lucifer thoughts #lucifer spoilers #lucifer s6 #lucifer s6 spoilers #lucifer critical #i criticize from a place of love #i really do

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ootahime · 3 years ago

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analyzing every gojohime moment in the manga 😈

this series will probably have more than one part because tumblr only lets me upload ten images per post </3

warning: there are disgustingly long paragraphs in here and delusions

chapter 32

utahime’s first introduction! akutami lets us know right off the bat that she thinks gojo is an idiot (so true).

chapter 32

i love the contrast between miwa and utahime’s reaction to gojo’s appearance.

chapter 33

NAH BC TELL ME WHY HE WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO NOT GET HER ONE LMAOOOO!! when he traveled overseas to meet with yuta, he picked up the tribal protection charms and thought to himself, “let’s get enough for the kyoto students as a gift since i am such a great and caring teacher, after all. mmm, i should skip utahime to make her mad~” this guy puts way too much effort into getting on her nerves. his mind = utahime brainrot

chapter 33

she’s laughing at him here because he’s getting disciplined for being a lil shit. i wonder...what would he say if he saw her laughing at him like that?

chapter 33

this interaction between them is a little strange don’t you think? i feel like over the years he’s learned how to pick up her mood based on the way she’s acting towards him. you’re probably thinking, “well any person can figure out how a person’s feeling based on the way they’re talking or acting.” yes, that’s absolutely true, but it’s kind of different with this. she’s acting normal. utahime has a rather indifferent expression on her face and what she says is spoken in a calm tone, but gojo still asks her if she’s mad at him. it’s likely that he knows her well enough to be able to notice these subtle things. even if she wasn’t actually mad at him, he was being considerate for a split second, then he went and said, “of course. i didn’t do anything wrong and all.” what a guy LOLOL. to me, this implies that maybe he made her genuinely angry in the past to the point where he realized that he went too far, and thus decided to be more careful of her feelings. she has definitely gotten annoyed at him so many times after that so whenever she seems angry, he probably asks himself if he took it too far. i’m curious to see if he can pick up if she’s upset with something that’s not involving him. would he console her? how does gojo satoru console someone?

despite him always annoying her, she’s still courteous and brings him a cup of tea during their talk. she didn’t have to go out of her way to get tea for him but she did. that’s the kind of person utahime is. a kind and caring woman who would never put her students in danger. in the anime they were sitting far away and not facing each other like they’re doing in the manga. she also has her own tea cup. i think that little panel of her placing the cup down on the table and him picking it up to take a sip is a nice little detail. it just proves that her hating him most of the time isn’t actually pure hatred but annoyance because of his shenanigans and teasing.

chapter 33

i touched upon this a little bit in my previous post, but i wish to go more in depth about this panel. first of all, he ends the sentence with her name twice. two times too many, mr. gojo. i like how they can be serious with each other too LOL. i wish we got to see them talk about the traitors because they did figure it out together after all. does it always end in bickering? can they interact with each other like adults all the way through? somehow, i feel like that’s not possible when it comes to these two. furthermore, notice how gojo confides in utahime about his suspicions. from what we know, she is the first person he brought it up to. i mean, i guess he has to start investigating the schools and would need extra assistance to save time, but he could have done it himself if he really wanted to. by deciding to ask for her help we know that he thinks she’s trustworthy, smart, and strong enough to face whatever considerable risks this task may entail.

i didn’t point this out in my other posts but see how he makes a hand sign in the last panel when she throws the cup at him? gojo is manually activating his infinity. why though? about a year after the whole star plasma vessel incident happened, gojo develops the ability to keep his infinity up at all times by using the reversed curse technique to consistently heal himself to prevent exhaustion. this means that it really makes no difference whether he leaves it on or off. there are a few times where we can witness someone actually touching gojo. for example, yuuji giving him a hug. did he turn his infinity off, or was it able to deduce that yuuji was not a threat? the erasers and pencils shoko and geto threw at him during his demonstration of his new ability aren’t dangerous normally, but is it the speed that makes them dangerous? even if it did hit him, it wouldn’t hurt. how does the infinity know when to allow an incoming object to touch gojo? i believe it is up to gojo himself to let things touch him; his infinity restricts anything and anyone. some people say it could just be the fact that water is not dangerous to him, so therefore, he has to manually put his infinity up. i thought this was a reasonable explanation as to why he put up the hand sign when the tea was thrown at him, but then i realized that it couldn’t be. remember the second opening? it’s raining and everyone is carrying an umbrella, then it pans to gojo with a bouquet in his hand and rain drops slipping off his infinity. if he DID manually put his infinity up to prevent getting soaked then that implies that he chose to turn his infinity off. you can argue and say that jujutsu high is a safe place with students so there’s no need to have his infinity there, but do you remember when he stepped on the ants in front of gakuganji and yaga? the ants were perfectly fine after which insinuates that his infinity prevented his shoes from crushing the ants. he most likely had his infinity on during the baseball game even though he was in a safe environment. how does this long tangent relate back to utahime? well, it simply indicates that gojo trusts utahime so much to the point where he can be vulnerable around her. turning off his infinity symbolizes completely letting down his guard in a way.

how about what happens next? utahime throws the tea at him, he turns on his infinity to deflect it, and he responds with, “scary! hysteric women aren’t popular, you know!” why would he even say that LMAO?? utahime doesn’t even try to deny what he said either. she just hits him with the good old, “i am your senpai!” could it be that he’s trying to poke fun of her relationship status? maybe, maybe not. doesn’t he like people a lil crazy? he did say that all jujutsu sorcerers have to be a little crazy because they’re willing to put themselves in danger constantly.

chapter 0 p.1

i wonder who he’s thinking of when he said that. could it be utahime? it seems like he’s reminiscing or thinking about someone. he wears an amused expression on his face as he laughs - almost like he’s seen his fair share of how scary women can get :>>

chapter 34

the pattern behind gojo and utahime is called yagasuri “fletching,” a traditional japanese design. this design is inspired by arrow fletching. it's a lucky charm for weddings and other celebrations since it's based on the Japanese belief that an arrow shot once never comes back. brides were given kimonos with this pattern for good luck during the edo era (1603–1868) to ensure they would not have to return to their original family home. this pattern can have numerous meanings such as steadfastness or determination to achieve a goal, or a wish for the happiness of the bride. there is a belief that a bow and arrow represent the fight against evil. honestly, this meaning fits the narrative of the story. utahime and gojo are unearthing the traitors that are feeding intel to the curse users and cursed spirits. they are in the middle while the kyoto students surround them, which could mean that it’s their job as adults to protect these children from the grasps of evil slowly making itself more prominent. do you also notice that the arrows are pointed toward utahime from gojo? from all the images i’ve seen, the arrows are usually pointed downward. what could this mean? is gojo trying to protect her (in the future (?)) or does he have a big fat crush smh...

i think it’s a good time to mention utahime’s clothing. she’s wearing miko attire. miko are shrine maidens who were once thought to be shamans (you connecting the dots?). in their service to shrines, miko used to perform spirit possession and takusen (in which the possessed person acts as a "medium" (yorimashi) to communicate the divine will or message of that kami (god) or spirit; also included in the category of takusen is "dream revelation" (mukoku), in which a kami appears in a dream to communicate its will). this was back in the old days, of course. to become a miko back then (shaman), one needed to have potential. neurosis, hallucinations, odd behavior, and hysteria (HYSTERIA HELLO???) are some of the signs that a person is being called to shamanism. when a miko is communicating with a kami (god) or spirit by acting as a medium, she is in a trance-like state, and so she must learn techniques to control herself when this happens. chanting and dancing were used to accomplish this, so the girl was taught melodies and intonations that were used in songs, prayers, and magical formulas. all of this could give us insight about utahime’s technique and explains why she’s good at singing :) maybe she can’t control herself when she uses her technique which is why she isn’t shown using it because it should be used for dire situations. i imagine being possessed by a spirit or god must consume a lot of cursed energy. it makes sense that utahime and gakuganji wear traditional clothing. they’re the staff of jujutsu high’s kyoto branch. in chapter 0, kyoto is known as the sacred land of jujutsu. it’s more traditional compared to tokyo. if you want to learn more about miko, you should check out the wikipedia page!

chapter 34

i swear he tries to annoy her every chance he gets. i bet he sets a goal for himself to see how many times utahime lectures him about respecting his seniors every time he’s within the same vicinity as her. at least he called her utahime-sensei!!!

chapter 40

this isn’t even a gojohime moment tbh...i just wanted to share a pic of them sitting next to each other HEHE. why are they sitting next to each other anyway? it’s not like they have assigned seating.

----

that was so long and i apologize for the gargantuan paragraphs you guys had to read through. i’m writing this at 4 in the morning and i’m feeling borderline delirious so i apologize if there are any errors. i’ll edit this when i have time <3

the next part should come shortly.

#gojohime #gouta #gojo x utahime

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parkersbliss · 3 years ago

Note

hey could i request a kaz fic with prompts: 001, 007 and 041? pleasee let it end in fluff i can’t bare angst after your last fic lol <3

yes ofc ofc, kaz fluff for you

Dead Man | K. Brekker

prompts: 001: “Why do you care?” 007: “Give me one good reason.” 041: “I cant stand the sight of you in someone else’s arms!”

Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt List

—

Kaz wasn’t a jealous person. That’s what he tells himself, but he believes it’s far from true. Then again, he didn’t have to believe it to be true. He seems to lie to himself a lot. He’s also noticed he seems to lie a lot more when you’re involved.

His favorite lie would have to be, I’m not in love with (Y/N). He definitely was.

But Kaz Brekker was too prideful to ever admit that. Being in love gave you a weakness, and Kaz was not weak. Far from it, actually. He was the most feared man in Ketterdam. There was a reason he was successful, and that was simply because he didn’t have a weakness.

Well, a weakness that people knew about.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Jesper asked, casting a sideways glance at you.

Kaz rolls his eyes, slamming his hands down on the table. “Unless you have a better one, I suggest you shut up.”

Jesper opens his mouth to object, but he shakes his head and shuts up.

Good, he knows better.

“Looking good is a Jesper talent, isn’t it?”

Jesper straightens his back and his jacket, brushing his thumb against his lip. “Why yes, it is.”

“Then I don’t see the problem. You just have to do it with (Y/N).”

You nod, bumping shoulders with the Zemeni boy. “Yeah, we could be a great power couple.”

Jesper laughs nervously, looking at Kaz and seeing the slightest hint of murder in his eyes. There was nothing wrong with the plan except the part where Jesper has to play your boyfriend when Kaz has the biggest crush on you known to man. Jesper knew better than to get in his way. He would really prefer to keep his life than get his head chopped off with a single look.

“You both know your target?” Kaz asked.

You and Jesper nod.

“Good. Get in, get the info and get out. No gambling and no drinking.” He points an accusing finger at Jesper. “I don’t think I have to explain that to you, (Y/N). Any objections?”

Jesper shakily raises his hand. “Yes, so why can’t you go as (Y/N)’s boyfriend?”

Inej looks to Jesper with raised eyebrows. “Are you serious right now?”

“I just think that they would make a more convincing couple!”

“Jesper,” Kaz said lowly, and he knows he’s in for it. “When I say you’re posing as (Y/N)’s boyfriend, you are posing as her boyfriend. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal,” Jesper squeaks.

Kaz pulls back, slapping his cane on the ground and leaning his hands on it. When Jesper doesn’t move, he rolls his eyes, “Well, get to it!”

“Right!” Jesper said, scrambling to get out of the room.

“He seems awfully nervous,” You said.

“I’ll go check on him,” Inej said, passing by you with a smile.

That leaves you and Kaz.

“You were a bit harsh on him, don’t you think?” You asked.

Kaz shrugs. “Not really. It’s Jesper.”

“I think you scared the poor boy half to death.”

Kaz raises a single brow at you. ��I don’t see an issue. He still has half to go.”

You let out a soft chuckle, and Kaz swears his heart stops for just a moment. He could listen to it forever.

“Is there a reason you’re so adamant about him being my fake boyfriend?”

“He’s the best choice.”

“Right.”

“You beg to differ?”

You shake your head, “Not at all.”

Kaz knows you did, but he doesn’t say anything. “You should get ready.”

You nod, “Yeah, I should. I’ll see you after, boss.”

…

“Wow,” Jesper said, offering his arm to you. “You look dazzling.”

“I learn from the best,” You wink, looping your arm through his.

Kaz’s lips are pursed into a straight line, and Jesper will be grateful when he’s out of his sight and range.

“Inej and I will be across the street. You know what to do if it goes south.”

“Sure do, Boss,” Jesper replied, eager to leave.

Kaz nods, stepping back, and you both enter the club. He leads you towards the bar and takes a seat. You stand next to him, scanning the crowd for the target.

“Put your arm around my waist,” You hiss to Jesper when you spot him.

“I don’t know about that,” Jesper laughed nervously.

“Jesper.”

“Okay!”

He slips an arm around your waist, nervously looking around to ensure Kaz can’t see. When he’s sure he’s safe, he relaxes a bit more. Everything goes smooth as you wait for your target to come over. You didn’t want to lure him in case that made you both more suspicious. It takes longer than both of you want, but eventually, he makes it to the only open seat in the bar; the one next to you.

He orders a few shots and Jesper makes the first move. “Rough night?”

He groans. “You have no idea.”

“Try me.”

“I’m Archer,” The target said, but of course, you already knew that. He was working for a Mercher, who rumor had it - recently imported something worth millions. Kaz wanted to know what it was and if it was worth it.

“Roman,” Jesper grinned, sticking out a hand.

“And what about this pretty lady?”

You gave him your fake name with a smile as you shuffle closer to Jesper.

“Boss is treating me like shit,” Archer groans, taking a shot. Jesper offers to pay for more. The tipsier he got, the more he would spill. “We got this new import the other week, been on high security since. Doubled my hours, didn’t double my pay.”

“New import? What could be so valuable?”

Archer shrugs. “I have no idea. Not allowed to tell, anyway. Sorry bud.”

“That’s a damn shame.”

Archer leans in, alcohol evident in his breath and you almost choke. “Between you and me, I think it’s some new weapon from Novyi Zem.”

There it was.

Jesper raises his brows. “Do you know what kind?”

“Some kind of gun, or guns.”

Jesper leans back. “Huh. I assume he keeps them in the back.”

Archer shakes his head. “No, he’s too cautious with this. He keeps in the vault in the basement.”

“A vault? Must be worth a lot.”

“Top security clearance. He has it scan his eyes, then his fingerprint and a password to get in.”

“My god,” Jesper laughed. “That’s a lot.”

Archer takes another shot. “You’re telling me.”

You don’t say much, playing the part of dumb arm candy. Your eyes wander the club when you spot a familiar face. He’s walking towards you.

You take a deep breath, turning your head to Jesper. You lean in to whisper, “We got someone coming towards us. He knows us. We need to hide.”

“How?”

“Kiss me.”

“You are out of your mind,” Jesper hisses. God, if Kaz found out, he would be dead in seconds.

“It’s that or death. I promise I don’t bite.”

“Are you two okay?” Archer asked.

Jesper coughs, pushing you off. “Yes, the misses it just eager to get home.”

Archer nods. “I see. I should get going too.”

Jesper lets him. You already got enough information.

“Jesper,” You whisper, tugging on his coat.

He was a dead man either way.

He grabs your face, kissing you with his eyes closed. It doesn’t mean anything to either of you. It’s just the difference between life and death for now. He can see the person leave out of the corner of his eyes. He’s about to pull back when a cane slams the bar floor. Jesper jumps back.

He is so dead.

Kaz's eyes blaze with something much more than rage, and Jesper doesn’t doubt it’s for him.

“Kaz,” you breathe out.

“We’re done here.”

Jesper stands up from the bar, letting go of you. “Yes, we are.”

He practically runs out of there, leaving you with a very pissed-off Kaz.

“Are you okay?” You asked.

He ignores you and walks away.

“Kaz?” You shout, catching up with him.

“What?” He snaps, never looking at you as you walk back to the slat. Jesper was gone, probably hiding somewhere. Inej was covering for him, but Kaz pays no mind.

“We got the information. Why are you so mad?”

Kaz throws open the door to his office, standing behind his desk and finally looking up. “You want to know why I’m so mad?”

“Yes!”

“Because you kissed Jesper!”

“What?” You asked. You couldn’t understand why he was so mad about that. He was the one who assigned him as your partner. “Why do you care?”

It’s not meant to come off rude, you just didn’t understand.

Kaz purses his lips and looks the other way. He can’t bring himself to say why; he won’t admit his weakness.

“Give me one good reason,” You beg. “I’m not mad at you, Kaz. I just don’t underst-”

“I can’t stand the sight of you in someone else’s arms!”

That’s not what you expected. However, it makes your stomach do flips. You swallow the butterflies.

“Then why did you partner Jesper and me together?” You asked softly.

Kaz sighs, “I thought I could prove to myself that I wasn’t in love with you by seeing you with him.”

You snort. “And how did that work out?”

“It didn’t.”

“So what are you gonna do about it?”

Kaz can hear the mischief in your voice. He’s expecting rejection, but you sound happy.

“I think I’m going to admit that I’m in love with you,” he said, turning back around to face you.

“Well, that’s good,” You grin, grabbing his coat and pulling him the slightest bit closer. He doesn’t pull away. “Cause I’m in love with you too.”

#poor jesper man 😭#kaz is just grilling him #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker one shot #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker angst #kaz brekker fic #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #soc #six of crows imagine #six of crows #crooked kingdom #grishaverse #shadow and bone

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let-them-read-fics · 4 years ago

Text

Too Late To Apologize?

Requested By @rosiesandlilies: “I was wondering if I can request a Rosé x female reader story where Rosie is an idol who also happens to be ur wife and since she and BP are taking over the world by storm, she starts to forget about you and whenever u ask her to spend a little bit of time with you, she gets upset and fights with you. You’re also an important person but you always make time for her. Can it be angsty with fluff 🥰”

Pairing: Rosé x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 6,026

Warnings / Misc: -- Angst, Self Doubt, Strained Marriage / Relationship, Crying, Some Swearing, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Oooooo lord, here we go. I am feeding 👏 you 👏 all 👏 today! This one took a while to write, but I’m pretty happy with it. I wrote it all in one go, starting at like 3am (as usual lol), so forgive me if it’s a little rough. I put a lot of effort into it, though, so I hope you guys enjoy. Thank you for requesting -- Happy reading!

PS ~ I highly recommend that you listen to these songs as you read this:

You Were Good To Me -- Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler

Surrender -- Natalie Taylor

The Night We Met -- Lord Huron

I Found -- Amber Run

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Hongdae, Seoul -- 8:00 PM

“Good evening, everyone! Before I open the doors, I’d like to thank each and every one of you for taking the time out of your day to stop in. We couldn’t have done this without your support, and we’re endlessly grateful. We hope you have a wonderful experience with us tonight. Now, without further ado, welcome to La Rêverie!”

To your amusement, the sizable crowd erupts into a fit of cheers once your opening speech is over. Echoes of the joyous sounds carry across the city, wiggling their way through the alleys and streets, bouncing off of the nearby buildings. The customers slowly filter in, greeting and congratulating you on their way; you’re beyond excited to start this new journey, and seeing people so happy to be a part of it only makes you more proud.

Eventually everyone makes it inside to their seats, and you join them.

--- Later That Evening ---

“Y/N, we have a private party that would like to see you. They’re eager to meet the woman behind all of this,” Pierre smirks, quirking an eyebrow suggestively. His demeanor confuses you slightly, seeing as how this isn’t the first time high profile celebrities have requested your presence -- that’s just one of the perks of being a world renowned chef. You brush off his remark as playful banter and send him to tell them that you’ll be out soon.

---

“...yes, actually. Y/N and I were fortunate enough to meet when she was studying in Paris; we were being trained by the same chef. We’ve been close ever since. I’m not surprised that she hired me, though; I’m practically a master in the kitchen.”

At Pierre’s cocky words, your eyes nearly roll into the back of your head. A small grin plays on your lips nonetheless, and you smooth out your top one more time before rounding the corner.

“What’s this idiot on about now? Did he tell you about the time that he nearly got kicked out of our mentorship program for giving Anthony Bourdain the wrong dish?” You ask the table, sending them a glance while ruffling his hair as you come up behind him. They all snicker at that, and it’s his turn to roll his eyes; with an annoyed shove, he scolds you for bringing that story up again.

“Must you always tell people about that?”

Your smile widens, spreading cutely across your face. Mocking him is one of your favorite things to do. “Mhm,” you say simply, nodding your head for emphasis. He attempts to hide his embarrassment, but it only brings a deeper blush to his cheeks.

At the VIP table, the suppressed sound of laughter carries over to you, and you’re reminded of your reason for being here in the first place. Upon offering your full attention to the table now, no longer distracted by Pierre, you’re met with 4 different pairs of eyes on you. Warm, yellow light illuminates the area, the classy overhead fixture emitting a soft glow to cast down on the guests beautifully. It’s cozy and inviting, just like you had intended it to be, and the sight makes you happy.

As you quickly scan over each of the girls, your brain pieces together where you know them from.

“My oh my, it’s Blackpink themselves. To what do I owe this honor?” All of the natural charisma that you possess takes over now, doing its best to override your nerves. It’s definitely not the time to fangirl over them; you have to act cool. One by one, you shake their hands, making sure to give each of them a glimpse of your award winning smile.

Jennie is the first to speak up. “Yourself, of course. You’re the talk of the town, Y/N, how could we miss this?” The way that she says it so casually, already skipping past the formalities, puts you at ease.

“Ah, you’re too kind. Was your food prepared to your liking?”

A chorus of approving noises leaves the table, successfully boosting your confidence in the process. “It was truly incredible, Y/N.” Rosé gushes, her adorable accent adding something magical to the simple phrase. For the first time tonight, your mind goes blank; ever since news broke of your plans for this new restaurant, you practiced to avoid this very thing. As you stand there floundering for a beat, she takes notice of the effect that her words have on you; it doesn’t take long for her to realize how much she loves to make you blush.

“Thank you so much. We’re so glad to have you here tonight.”

“We’re happy to be here! Rosé hasn’t stopped talking about it for the past week.” The Australian’s eyes go wide as Lisa exposes her, and she shoots the younger girl a shocked look. Lisa only smirks at this, her shoulders rising and falling in a nonchalant shrug. Jisoo nods in confirmation, adding, “Yeah, she’s been super pumped.”

On the inside, you’re freaking out. Rosé was that excited to try out your creations? There’s no logical explanation for that one. Your own surprise is evident in your voice as you respond, “Oh really now? And why’s that?”

“I-I’ve just heard a lot of great things, you know? You’re pretty talented.” She tries to sound confident, but the stutter in her voice betrays her. The tips of her ears are burning with embarrassment, and after sending her yet another smile, you decide to spare her by changing the topic.

“Well thank you, again. It’s truly a privilege to cook for you girls.” The conversation continues from there, effortlessly moving from subject to subject, and you love how welcome they make you feel. Occasionally you excuse yourself to check on the other guests and ensure that they’re enjoying their dinner, and every time, Rosé finds herself sorely missing your presence. Despite only officially meeting tonight, she feels like she’s known you her whole life. The two of you clicked instantly, and she can’t seem to get enough of you.

After spending the better part of 2 hours chatting and getting to know one another better, you grow bold and ask the question that’s been rolling around in your head all night.

“Would you guys like to come back to the kitchen for a bit? I could give you some tips and we could make a couple dishes, if you want.”

Rosé nearly interrupts you from how eager she is to accept the offer. The second that you’re done asking, she’s already saying yes. The others happily agree as well, and soon you’re leading them to the back to get prepped.

_________

“Just like this, everyone. Cut thinly here,” you inform, using your knife to point to the areas in question, “...then turn it and follow through with the slices. It should come out diced, like so.” The girls observed your swift motions, peeking over at the small cubes once you’re finished. Things continue on like this for a while, and soon you’re halfway done with the veggies while they’re barely done with the first part of their batches.

“Slow down, Y/N! You’re too fast for us grandmas.” Jisoo jests, her voice bouncy with amusement.

“Okay, okay! I’ll wait, just let me know if you need help.” Your knife comes to rest against the cutting board, and you take the opportunity to lean back against the countertop to watch them work. Your eyes trail over to Rosé, only to find her already looking at you; she tenses once she realizes she’s been caught, and she returns to her previous duties. You decide to tease her.

“Everything alright, Rosé? You seem a little distracted…” She momentarily shuts her eyes at your words, trying to refocus her thoughts and collect herself. A subtle snicker from Lisa can be heard, and Rosé delivers a quick jab to her arm. The maknae lets out a little “oww” before setting her things down to rub away the newfound soreness of her arm.

A little later, Jennie requests some assistance, prompting you to make your way over to her. The station that she’s working at just so happens to be next to Rosé’s, and you’d be lying if you said that didn’t thrill you.

“Do we peel this first or leave it on?”

“Cut the ends first, then slice it in half and remove the outer layer.”

Under your watchful eye, she follows your instructions and is soon back on track. She thanks you, and you bring your hand up to give her a pat on the back. Although she feels childish for it, the action works to make Rosé the tiniest bit jealous; she wants your attention on her.

The blonde clears her throat before speaking up. “Y/N, I need a little help, too.” Your heart jumps at her words, and you fight hard to keep yourself in check as you spin around to face her.

“Of course, Rosé.” She sighs at the way her name rolls off your tongue, and she’s completely convinced that you’ve secretly put her under some type of spell. Her thoughts of you and your mysterious ways are interrupted when you come to stand next to her, your hip lightly brushing against hers.

“Oh, well there’s your problem: you’re holding the knife wrong. Here,” you start, reaching out to reposition her hand in a better spot. Now she’ll be able to control it better, and she won’t run the risk of cutting herself.

“Better?” You ask innocently, missing the way that she bites her lip. The close proximity of your bodies is making her head spin, and she can’t decide if she wants you to stay or go. “Yes, thank you.” She looks like she wants to say something else, but she doesn’t, so you take that as your cue to go check on the other girls. Rosé silently curses herself for missing that golden opportunity to flirt with you, but she takes solace in the fact that she catches you stealing glances her way fairly often. You feel the connection too, and she’s pleased with that -- maybe she was doing something right after all.

The next stint of the night is spent preparing and cooking the dishes you promised them while trading jokes, banter, and teasing remarks. A mini food fight also took place, but for the sake of professionalism you won’t mention that. You couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day.

----

“Goodnight girls. I hope you come by again sometime soon!”

They all assure you that they’ll be back before you know it, and you believe them. After all, they gobbled those dishes down like they hadn’t eaten in days -- it’s safe to say that they enjoyed them.

Rosé lingers in the doorway, eyeing you as you work to clean off the counter. She doesn’t want to go; she’s loved getting to hang out with you. Contemplating her options, she decides to be brave; she tells the girls to go on ahead, that she’ll be there in a minute.

“Rosé, did you forget something?” You ask, looking up at her as you reach forward to wipe any remaining debris off the sleek surface.

“Yeah, your number.” Somehow, she possesses all the confidence in the world now, her new demeanor completely opposite to its previously shy counterpart.

You tilt your head at her, a dumbfounded smile parting your lips ever so slightly. “Bold, are we? Alright, I’ll bite.” You say, holding a hand out for her to give you her phone. Her eyes widen a bit -- was she not expecting you to say yes? There’s no way you could turn down a chance like this. She fumbles around in her bag until the smooth screen of her phone comes into contact with her fingers, letting her know she’s found it.

“Here you go,” she chuckles cutely, an adorable little pattern of blush rising to her cheeks again.

After entering your number, making sure to save the contact and even take a goofy picture of yourself for it, you give it back to her. “Call me anytime, love.” Her smile spreads even farther at the pet name, and she ducks her head to hide her reddening cheeks.

As she slowly approaches the door, walking backwards, she says, “I will… love,” offering you a little awkward salute at the end of it. You giggle at her antics, and soon bid her goodnight.

No more than 5 minutes later, your phone dings as it displays a notification from an unknown number.

“I’m usually not that awkward 🤦‍♀️ pretty girls just make me nervous.” The message makes your heart flutter, and you quickly save her number to your contacts.

“Really? We have yet another thing in common, then.”

The girls watch as Rosé does a little victory dance in her seat, her movements a bit limited by the belt stretched across her body. She’s practically glowing with excitement, her fingers already firing off another reply.

________

3 Years Later -- Rome, Italy

Upon seeing Rosé saunter down the aisle, your emotions get the jump on you; before you can stop them, tears flow freely down your face, and you bring a hand up to your mouth to quiet yourself. She looks bruisingly beautiful: the natural curves of her body are accentuated by the silky material of her dress, and her shoulders are covered in lace. An angel cast down from the heavens above.

She smiles at the audience that’s filled with your close friends and family, offering little greetings as she passes them. Once she and her father make it to the altar, he pulls you in for a big hug, a few tears escaping his eyes. After he takes a step back, he looks between the two of you with pure pride on his face, his hand resting on your shoulder.

The song ends, signalling for the two of you to join hands and face each other, and he returns to his seat.

“We’re gathered here today to celebrate the joyous union of Y/N L/N and Roseanne Park. Two souls destined to find their way to one another, travelling millions of miles in the process. We come together to revel in this fact and send them into their new life together with all of our support.” The officiator says into the microphone, smiling at the two of you. You can tell he loves his job, and he’s damn good at it.

Rosé’s grip on your hand tightens as she tries to contain her tears, but you’re quick to assure her that it’s alright. “You can cry, baby.” At your words, her lip is released from between her teeth, and her tears begin to flow. You wipe them away, stepping closer to rest your forehead against hers.

The ceremony continues on and the two of you recite the personal vows you wrote. Somehow, unbeknownst to you, there doesn’t seem to be a limit to how much you can cry in one sitting. Rosé is having the same problem, seeing as how her makeup is smudging some as the tears wash the substances away. You don’t care though, and you make it a point to remind her of that; she’s never looked more beautiful to you.

“I do.” You choke out, beaming at her as you run your thumb across her knuckles.

“I do.” She responds, impatiently bouncing on the balls of her feet as she waits for those final words from the officiator.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Her lips are on yours before he even finishes the phrase, her hand resting on the back of your neck as she pulls you in closer. Your lips move with hers in perfect time, working to seal your union in the best way possible. “I love you, forever,” she whispers against your lips.

____

Present Day, 1:17 AM

In order to spare you from the overwhelming sadness that you’re being subjected to now, your brain takes you back to those happy times from the past. When Rosé still made time for you; when she loved you.

Even though you hate it, you still find her in everything. The bright sunshine of the early morning reminds you of all the times she would wake you up with kisses, holding you close. The songbirds outside of your window bring to mind when you’d come home to find her at the piano, alternating between striking the keys and strumming her guitar as her beautiful voice carried out across the house.

You miss that Ros��, so, so much. The Rosé that would call you in between sessions at the studio, if only for 5 minutes. The Rosé that longed to hear your voice after a long day; who fell into your arms the second that she shuffled through the door after practice.

As time has passed, though, she’s seemed to fade more and more from your life; missed calls and texts have become a given, and it takes everything in you to mask your sorrow. Anyone who knows you well at all can easily see through the facade: you’re now a shell of who you once were, your normally vibrant and cheery self gone. You attempt to hide your sadness behind a smile, but it never really works out; your eyes don’t shine like they used to, and your lips don’t quite tweak up at the corners in the special way they had before.

But you’re getting ahead of yourself again. Your reason for crying tonight is simple: for the hundredth time this month, she’s cancelled your date night plans, opting to spend the time working instead. The argument that the two of you had earlier replays in your mind:

"I don't have a choice."

Except, she did. She could choose you, choose to take a break, if only for the evening. You never ask too much of her, knowing that she can't handle even more stress competing with what she already has from the company and media. Being an idol is hard enough, and you know you can never fully wrap your head around everything that's expected of her.

Though, that makes this all the more ridiculous. All you've asked for is a couple hours of her time -- for her to relax with you and get away from it all. Earlier that day you had gone to the store and picked up all the necessary materials to treat her to a little spa day, complete with bath and body oils, face masks, and even some bath bombs.

"Asking my wife to spend an evening with me is not unreasonable, Rosé."

"I'm not having this argument again, Y/N. I get enough shit from everyone else; I don't need any extra from you."

Maybe it was something in how she said it, so final and hateful, her face coming to rest in a scowl. Her arms were crossed as she stood in front of you, and you could see the muscles in her jaw clench and release repeatedly. In some twisted way, part of you was glad to have this encounter; it hurt like hell, but at least she was paying attention to you. She hadn't looked at you for this long in a while.

Before you can even get another word out, she sighs, saying, "I don't have time for this. I have to go back to the studio."

Just as she turns to go, you catch her wrist. With a slightly annoyed look, she turns to face you.

"If you walk out that door then I'm leaving; at least for the night. We need to talk about this, but if you don't care enough to even give me that, then…" you trail off, tilting your head slightly. You want her to apologize, to say how wrong she's been for doing all of this to you -- but she doesn't. Her expression is tired, irritation written plainly for you to see. She pulls her arm away, offering a petty, "Oh well," with a shrug before exiting the house.

How could she be so cold? Maybe that's what hurt the most. Seeing the love of your life turn into someone completely different than who you fell for stung more than any argument ever could. The reality is that she's not the same person anymore. Accepting that would be half of the battle in and of itself.

Your heart is betraying itself, stuck in a sticky situation: you're constantly struggling between your love for her and the respect you hold for yourself. Half of you wants to stay, to make her listen and fight for this; but the other half of you, perhaps the more rational side, knows that that won't work now. You've tried that already, you reason with yourself, racking your brain for any new way to get through to her.

Sometimes it's like she forgets all of the sacrifices you make for the relationship. Despite having your own busy schedule to deal with, you always make time for her. So why could she never do the same for you?

It's obvious that in its current state, this relationship is only wrecking your mental health -- a testament to that is every night you've spent lying awake, sobbing into your pillow as your list of insecurities grows longer and longer. She used to be the person you'd run to when negative thoughts plagued your mind, her sweet words of love showing how much she valued you. But all of that's gone now, leaving you with a shattered heart and racing mind. When had you stopped being enough?

~~~~~~~

It’s late, well past 4AM when Rosé manages to make it home. Practice absolutely wrecked her today, leaving her body exhausted from dancing and throat sore from all the singing she had to do. She’s more than ready to collapse into bed and pass out.

One thing that always stayed the same was your sleeping arrangement. No matter how much Rosé hurt you, you still slept in the same bed. Her subconscious was always kinder to you than she was, anyway; the two of you would cuddle in close like before, her arms wrapped around you as she slept peacefully. No arguments or yelling, you could always count on the nights to heal your heart a little bit.

As she enters the empty bedroom, the memory of your argument from earlier that day comes flooding back. She remembers that you said you were leaving, but part of her didn't fully believe you. She should've known better -- you always keep your word. Guilt washes over her, and she gently taps her head against the wall as a sort of self-punishment for her previous actions. Why did she say that to you? The hurt look in your eyes broke her heart, but she couldn’t afford to skip practice, especially with the comeback quickly approaching. In retrospect, she should’ve just told you that she didn’t feel prepared, and that’s why this practice had been so important. Even though she doesn’t show it, you still mean the world to her. She just so happens to be her own worst enemy.

With a heavy sigh, she makes her way to the bathroom; there she finds a cute little basket of goodies next to the tub, and a note on the counter of the sink. She approaches the basket first, quickly discovering that it holds some of her favorite self-care items from the local store. Yet again, a deep pang of guilt courses through her upon realizing that you had prepared that for her. Defeated, she picks up the note.

Roseanne,

If you’re reading this, then I’ve already left. I don’t want you to worry, if you even still care enough to do that, so I decided to leave this letter for you. I’ll be staying with my friend for the next while. I don’t know how long, but that depends entirely on you. I’ve tried to communicate with you, but we’re getting nowhere; we both know it. We’re not who we used to be, Rosé, and I hate that. I want us to be happy again, but it seems that I can’t do that for you. If you want to end things, let me know.

- Y/N

Rosé’s heart is breaking, splintering into a million different pieces and leaving her with no possible way to collect them all. How had she so royally fucked this up? She only has herself to blame, and she knows that; she can’t believe that she let things get like this. She had been so blinded by the stress that she lost sight of the most important thing in her life: you. It’s slowly sinking in that she very well might lose you for good this time, and she doesn’t know how to cope with that. She can survive without her career, but she knows she can’t go on without you.

----- La Rêverie, 2 Weeks Later -----

She only intended to walk by -- to see if you were there and safe. But as she gazes through the windows, peeking into the place that houses so many of her dearest memories, she’s transfixed. Her eyes land on you, finding you hard at work in the kitchen. It’s always been where you go when you’re stressed or upset about something -- two things that Rosé knows she’s the cause of.

You’re in your element, face donning a look of pure concentration as you prepare what she assumes is a new dish. Your hair’s in a bun, a few strands coming down to fall around your face as you move about. Gravity takes its time in gently coaxing them out of the tie's hold, and Rosé’s breath hitches at how beautiful you look; it’s as if she’s falling for you all over again. She’s always admired your skills, but they hold a whole new meaning now, an unspoken tension in every movement you make.

How had she been so selfish? You had been there for her all along, waiting patiently for the day that she would come to her senses. You would always have dinner ready -- usually one of her favorites, hoping that would spark something again -- but she always brushed you off. She never stayed long enough to see the crushed look on your face, or how the pain was becoming clearer and clearer by the day. She realizes now just how much of a toll her actions have taken on the both of you; you're still just as breathtaking as ever to her, but that special sparkle in your eye has long been eclipsed by something more dull. You're tired of being let down repeatedly, stuck in a constant loop of excuses and avoidance, and Rosé can't blame you for a second.

The time apart hasn't been kind to her at all; there hasn't been a single day that's gone by where you haven't consumed her thoughts. She misses you so badly it hurts, and even now, despite being so close to you, separated only by the walls of the restaurant, you've never been further away.

The distant sound of a car alarm cuts through the silence, simultaneously scaring her and drawing your attention. Before you can spot her, she ducks down; there’s no way that she can face you yet. Taking this as a sign, she decides to leave.

She’s spent the past 2 weeks attempting to spare you by not coming around; she thinks you need time away from her to deal with everything she’s put you through, and she doesn’t want to upset you anymore than she already has. Ever-torn, part of you is glad that she’s stayed away; however, another part of you just wants to see her again. You miss the nights more than you thought you would.

--- A Few Days Later ---

Steady sheets of rain pound harshly against the window, vibrating the latches with each gust of wind. Times like these are always the worst, especially when you don’t have Rosé to calm you down. Violent thunderstorms never fail to frighten you, and this one in particular seems like it’ll be the worst one of the season. Swiftly padding over to the window, you sneak a quick peek outside, only to find the branches of the large oak tree that occupies the yard swaying in the wind with reckless abandon. The sight terrifies you, but you do your best to keep yourself from panicking, even having to do some breathing exercises. Your friend can sleep through anything, and you know she needs the rest; so, you stay in the spare bedroom that she’s so graciously allowing you to reside in, and lie awake.

Across the city, Rosé is tossing and turning. The storm hasn’t fully reached its peak there yet, but she knows how worried you must be. Tears spring to her eyes at the thought of you huddled up under the covers, body trembling in fear as the storm rages on. The deep-rooted shame that she’s grown so accustomed to since you left plagues her conscience, making her even more disgusted with herself.

After turning over yet again, her eyes land on the picture she has of the two of you propped up on the nightstand. It was taken on your wedding day, that stunning view of the venue paling in comparison to your beauty. A sense of determination washes over her -- determination to make you that happy again someday, in whatever way she can -- and she gets out of bed to collect a few materials. She’ll do whatever it takes.

----

The sound of a car door slamming perks your ears up, and your curiosity gets the better of you. Quickly pulling the curtain back, you’re beyond shocked to see Rosé out there, holding something in her hand. Just as you lean in closer to the window to try and see what it is, her caller ID pops up on your phone.

“Come downstairs, please.”

Even with the vast array of emotions coursing through you at the moment, you’re only focused on getting her inside and out of harm’s way.

You nearly knock the door off its hinges with how quickly you snap it open. To your surprise, she’s still standing by her car, but now you can see what she was holding before; a white sign with black writing on it. The words are barely legible with how much it's raining, the dye of the marker horribly smudged, but you can make out: “I’m sorry! I’m an idiot.” It’s like something out of romantic drama.

Before you can even comment on everything that’s happening, Rosé begins the speech that she’s been trying to piece together ever since you left.

She has to raise her voice so you can hear her over the storm. You wonder why she doesn’t just come in, but you think that maybe she’s doing it to show you that she’s willing to punish herself by standing out in the elements. “No words that I say will ever be able to fix the pain that my actions caused. You don’t deserve any of the shit I put you through, and I hate myself for being such a coward. I was too immature to look past my own struggles and just talk to you about them.”

Now, she takes a few cautious steps towards the front door, testing the waters as she scans your face to gauge how you’re feeling. “I guess I just thought I could deal with it like I always do. But losing you showed me how wrong I was; I love you so much, Y/N. I don’t want to end things; I’ll never want that. You’re my world, baby; I’m so sorry that it took me this long to see what was right in front of me.”

How are you to respond to that? Can you trust her? She looks more sincere in this moment than she has in a long time, and that puts you a little more at ease. Her eyes are begging -- pleading -- with you to believe her, and after a moment you step to the side, wordlessly telling her to come in. You don’t even realize that you’re crying until a few stray tears drip onto your shirt, leaving little marks in their wake. She has to restrain herself from reaching out and wiping them away; she has no idea when -- or if -- you’ll be able to forgive her.

Soft pitter-patter of the water running off of her coat echoes lightly across the foyer, serving as white noise for the conversation you’re having. Her sniffles work in tandem with it, and she bites back her sobs in order to get the words out.

“I know this won’t be fixed overnight, but I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you’ll let me. I won’t blame you for a second if you can’t forgive me, either. I just couldn’t let you get away without a fight.”

With each new fresh batch of tears that settle in your eyes, you have to work twice as hard to blink them away. “I-I don’t know what to say, Rose. You’re the only person in this world capable of hurting me that badly, because you mean more to me than anyone else. But I never thought you’d treat me like that. Do you know how many times I doubted myself, thinking I did something wrong?” Your tone is bitter now, voice conveying the pain from those months of anguish that you had to endure, and Rosé hangs her head.

“I know that now, Y/N, and I know that I can never take it back. But God, how I wish I could. I’d do anything in my power to take that pain away. It was never your fault; none of it was.”

You know she’s being honest. After seeing the opposite for so long, it’s easy to spot when she’s telling the truth. You nod a couple times, deciding to pull her in for a long-overdue hug. She’s motionless at first, not quite knowing if you want her to return it or not, but the second that you quietly say, “Hold me, Rosé,” she’s scooping you up in her arms like her life depends on it. Her head rests in the crook of your neck, and the two of you cry together, letting all of the pent up frustration and sadness leave your bodies.

After standing there, embracing one another for who knows how long, she pulls away just enough to look into your eyes. Her gaze subtly falls to your lips, but you don’t fail to notice. “Can I?” She asks gently, raising her eyes back up to yours. “Yes.” You utter, nearly swooning as her soft lips brush against your own. You’ve missed them.

Her chilled hands cup your cheeks with purpose, and you can feel water running off the ends of her hair and onto your chest.

She kisses you in such a poetic way: softly, as if you might break at any moment, but urgently, like a lost soldier finally returning to the arms of their lover. She wants to make you feel how sorry she is, how much she loves you, and this seems like the perfect place to start.

“I love you, jerk,” you say through your tears, brushing your thumb along her cheek as you look into her eyes.

“And I love you, angel.” She picks you up, spinning you around a couple of times before setting you back down on your feet.

After a moment, you glace at the window. “Shhhh, wait. Do you hear that?”

She cocks her head to the side as she listens closely for any potential noise that you might be talking about, but she hears nothing. “No? I don’t hear anything…”

“Exactly; the rain stopped.”

“Huh. I guess it did its job, then.” She smiles, silently thanking the universe for working in its wonderful ways. It brought the two of you back to one another, and neither of you can contain your happiness. Maybe you don’t hate storms as much after all...

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dumbikawa · 3 years ago

Text

Being Stressed About Exams & HQ Boys Comforting You

GN!Reader | Comfort/Fluff | Warnings: stressed reader

Characters: Atsumu, Oikawa

A/n: This is extremely self-indulgent as school has been kicking my butt and the future post-graduation is very terrifying lol

ATSUMU

You stare at the computer in front of you, the text you’re supposed to read for class beginning to swim together as your eyes fill with tears. Everything is happening too fast and you feel completely unprepared to take any of it on. What if you spent all of this time and money on schooling only to fail so close to the end? What if you finally do finish, but then can’t find a job in your field? Should you have studied something else? The questions become more exhausting and constant the closer it gets to exams.

Small droplets roll off your cheeks and begin to pool on your keyboard. You haphazardly wipe them away before powering off the computer and tucking it back in your bag. Out of sight, out of mind, you figure. It’s not like there’s any use in trying to finish it tonight when you can already feel another wave of stress induced tears coming on. Those have also become a regular thing.

You click the volume button on your phone so that the sounds of music fill the room before leaning back in the desk chair, testing the limits of how far you can recline before gravity takes over. Atsumu had made this study playlist for you when he first noticed how stressed you were. It contained a mixture of your favorite songs, his favorite songs, and a few ‘motivational’ songs he pulled from his work-out playlists. It was a bit of a weird Frankenstein mash up with the large variety of genres, but it quickly became one of your studying must haves.

Over the sound of the music, you couldn’t hear the shower click off and the door to the bathroom swinging open. When Atsumu steps out, he sees you sitting where he’d left you, although, in a more dangerous position than you’d been in before as he notices the way the desk char teeters back and forth. His attention is quickly caught by the music choice, though, recognizing one of the songs playing as a favorite of his he added to the playlist he made for you a couple weeks ago. A smile breaks through his face as he hurriedly jumps into a pair of sweatpants before approaching your quiet figure.

As he comes up behind you, though, he notices a slight glisten upon your cheeks and a few fresh tears that tumble from your closed eyes. His upturned lips quickly sink as worry floods through him. Exams had been taking a toll on you, it wasn’t hard to tell, but he would never get used to seeing you cry.

“Baby,” he whispers, gently wrapping his arms around your shoulders. “What can I do for ya? Food? Cuddles? Cry it out?” You nod, resting the chair back on the ground and practically launching yourself into his arms.

Atsumu catches you with ease, his strong arms holding you against his chest. His hand rubs up and down your spine, sending shivers racing down you back, but there's no ulterior motive to his gentle touches. He continues the soft touches as he guides you to the bed, only letting you go for a second before allowing you to bury yourself in his side again.

“What if I can’t do it?” you whisper, trailing your fingers across Atsumu's toned chest. “I’ve studied for so long, but what if it doesn’t work out? What if--What if I don’t actually know anything and I crash and burn and--”

Atsumu shushes you gently, placing a few comforting kisses to your forehead. He notices your breathing beginning to grow heavier as your anxiety takes over. There's a few moments of silence as you try to match your breathing to his, the two of you taking slow, deep breaths in sync.

“The future might be unsure and stressful, but I know you’re going to do your best and make it work. All you can do is continue to work towards your goals and handle everything as it comes. Not to mention, I’m always going to be here to remind you of how strong you are even if you don’t see it.”

A new wave of tears begins as his words echo through your ears. You bury your face in his chest as your arms wrap around his waist in an attempt to pull yourself as close to him as you physically can be. Somehow he knew exactly what you needed to hear and a part of you wonders if he’s ever repeated those sentiments to himself when things felt unsure.

He continues to whisper reassurances as you fully relax against him, your tears finally beginning to dry up. You lift your head and offer him a weak smile.

“Thanks for letting me cry on your abs,” you sniffle, allowing yourself to truly laugh.

Atsumu feels lighter as he watches you smile and joke, hopefully being able to forget about the more stressful parts of life for a while as he holds you close. There’s been countless times where you eased his worries about the future, so he’s just happy that he can return the favor and create a safe space where you’re allowed to simply be.

OIKAWA

The cup in your hand is warm and comforting as you trudge towards your bedroom, a sense of dread washing over you as soon as your eyes land upon the laptop you left sitting open on the bed. With finals coming up, you thought it would be a good idea to transfer the notes you had written down during lectures onto your computer, figuring it would make them easier to access and that the process of going back through the information would be a good way to ensure you remember the material.

What you didn’t realize, however, is how absolutely time consuming and exhausting it was going to be. Your neck hurts from constantly looking back and forth between the paper and computer screen, your back hurts because somewhere along the way you abandoned any semblance of healthy posture and decided to go full cave gremlin in the way you hunched over your work, and instead of absorbing the information for a second time it seemed as if your brain had completely abandoned you and gone on autopilot. Shoving the computer off the bed and taking a nap feels like the best course of action right now, but you know if you stop now there’s no way you’re going to want to finish later.

Begrudgingly, you settle back onto the bed and take a large swig of coffee before stretching your fingers and placing them back on the keyboard. It couldn’t take that much longer right? All you have to do is push through and get it done.

And, for the next few hours, that’s what you do. You jump back in where you left off and race through the next few, gruelingly long chapters. The daylight outside quickly dwindles away until you’re forced to turn on the bedside lamp when you realize the sun has sunk far below the horizon and is beginning to cast bizarre shadows around the room. It was no bother, though, because you’re so close to being done. The issue is that neither your brain nor your body could keep up anymore.

Your fingers keep hitting the wrong keys, typing made up words that have you constantly backspacing and starting sentences over again for a third of even a fourth time. The breaking point comes when you go to take a sip of your now cold coffee and look back at the screen after attempting to type an entire paragraph from your notes in one go. Little did you know your finger placement was off, yet again, and the entire paragraph is an unreadable mess that even spell check doesn’t want to touch.

The tears that sting your eyes make you feel stupid. It was entirely too dumb to cry over something as superficial as misspellings that could be easily fixed and cold coffee. But once the tears start they won’t stop. Suddenly, you’re not crying over the notes or even school work in general. You’re crying about the crushing weight of change that's soon to come once you finish with classes and how impossible everything has begun to feel.

You’re too exhausted to focus on anything anymore, letting the hot tears run down your cheeks freely, which is why you don’t hear the rushed footsteps of your boyfriend who could hear your hiccuping breaths from down the hall.

He doesn’t say anything when he sees you curled up on the bed, your face buried in your arms. Oikawa sits on the ground closest to you and lays his head near yours as he begins to run his slender fingers through your hair. It doesn't take a psychic to tell you've been stressed with the quickly approaching exams, and from the collection of notes littered all around to the half closed computer the dots practically connect themselves.

The slight dip on the bed near your head alerts you to his presence, but you don't move. His hands guiding themselves over your scalp is quick to relax your body, but your mind feels like it's about to burst any moment as the thoughts continue to race.

“You’re doing so good,” he whispers against your temple, planting soft kisses after every word, “and you deserve to take a break. Remember when you used to have to tell me that all the time?" The feeling of his quiet laughter against your skin makes you smile, along with the memories of simpler times before either of you had barely begun to grasp how harsh the world could be.

"I picked up dinner for us, it was an apology for coming home late," he admits, kissing the top of your head. "But let's go heat it up and you can either tell me everything you're worried about or we can try to forget all about it for now and watch a movie. I'd really like it if you talked about it eventually, though. I know I'm not going to be able to fix it all, but that doesn't mean I can't try."

You turn your head to the side, exposing your tear stained cheeks that are quickly wiped away by Oikawa's calloused thumbs.

"I will," you say, voice heavy. "For now could you just hold me?" There isn't a second of hesitation as Oikawa slips his arms beneath your figure and presses you tightly against him.

"Movie it is," he announces, laying you on the couch with the remotes so that you could put on whatever you want. Your brain would never stop the constant anxious thoughts, but losing yourself in those chocolate brown eyes made it easy to imagine a future where it all works out somehow. Little do you know, Oikawa sees the same thing reflected in your eyes as he wonders about the right time, perhaps a couple years from now when you've both settled down in your careers, when he can finally buy that ring he's been looking at.

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rynne · 3 years ago

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I wonder why WQ didn't join the war and stage a coup (I think is the right term). Since according to Chapter 60 (EXR), "there were many cases that people wanted her to take over". She was favored by WRH and one of the faces of the sect (besides the Wen brothers) even though she is a distant relative. She must've thought at some point that what the main family branch is doing is Wrong and I'm sure there are others who thought so as well. She could've gathered those forces in secret and lead them and then offer their services, whether medical or manpower, to the leaders of the SSC. She was willing to commit treason along with WN by helping the Jiangs and ensuring the sect's survival and so WWX (and hopefully JC lol) could've put in a good word if they do decide to join the war. Also, according to Chapter 60 again, "Wen Qing was one of the Wen Sect's people whose way of doing things was actually normal", which proves that they're not like WRH and his supporters and could be trusted.

Poor Wen Qing was stuck between a rock and a hard place, I think.

She's as highly ranked as Wen Chao, one of WRH's own sons. She has a good reputation both inside and outside the sect. It's possible that she could have staged a coup, potentially averting or mitigating the war.

But something else we know about WQ is that she's a very loyal person. She's loyal to her brother, doing her best to protect him throughout their lives, even when he straight up commits treason by saving WWX and JC. She's loyal to her family, doing everything she can to find and help them after the SSC. She's loyal to WWX and ends up sacrificing her life for him.

And for better or for worse, she is loyal to WRH. He's her first cousin once removed, iirc, and the patriarch of her family, and her sect leader. It's not a small thing to kill him or fight against him openly, no matter what he's doing. She may be more loyal to WN, which is why she helps him with WWX and JC, but that doesn't mean she feels no loyalty to WRH.

Her decisions also fit into MDZS's themes about the tension between individual and sect. Several times in the story, characters are pulled between their sects and their individual priorities.

WQ is a doctor and a moral woman. She does not support starting or fighting in a war, and she tries to stay out of it. Despite these priorities, she ultimately sides with her sect by not doing more to stop WRH or help the SSC. Her choice not to stand up to WRH meant that people like NMJ could call her complicit and decide that no sympathy should be shown for her branch, which eventually contributed to the deaths of most of her family.

LWJ is in love with WWX and does understand the morality at least behind his choices with the Wen remnants (he doesn't disagree when WWX says he would do the same thing in WWX's shoes), even if he doesn't know whether WWX was right generally. He still sides with his sect by not doing more to help WWX. He ends up losing WWX and grieving for 13 years until he gets another chance to prioritize WWX first and his sect second. Only then does he get his happy ending.

Mianmian is a moral woman. She stands up for WWX after he saves the Wen remnants, even when her sect doesn't support her, and ends up leaving the sects altogether. She prioritizes her morality over her sect and is actually one of the few characters to get a straight-up happy ending.

WWX is a moral man. When he is forced to choose between his sect and saving the Wen remnants, he chooses the Wens. He never regrets this choice and the narrative continually validates it.

Thematically, even sympathetic characters like WQ and LWJ who prioritize their sects over the moral option are punished for that, while the characters who prioritize their individual morality over their sect are ultimately rewarded. The thing is, for this theme to hit home, there do have to be characters who make the wrong choice. WQ happens to be one of them.

It's uncertain what practical things she could have done, in-universe. Part of the reason the SSC was so bad was because pretty much the whole cultivation world was terrified of WRH and the Wen sect, to the point where the Wens could destroy two great sects before any real push-back started. Maybe people would have preferred WQ in charge, but would they have actually followed her if it meant defying WRH and the Wen sect? We don't know. We can't assume that any attempt to resist WRH would have been successful, and WQ would have had to balance that when making her decision.

The thing is, even though she had power within the sect and respect both inside and outside it, I don't think it would have been enough to really change anything about the war. The only thing it might have changed was how people viewed her after the war.

And I think it is also important that she didn't do more to stop WRH. Yes, we know she wasn't entirely on WRH's side, and she did help save WWX and JC's lives as evidence of this. But that also...doesn't necessarily matter that much. She and her branch of the family still would not have deserved how they were treated after the war.

I mean. I'm not saying it's not important that the Wen remnants included civilians who obviously did not fight in the war. That does make the Jins' treatment of them worse. But the ExR translation (chapter 74) does say, "On Burial Mound, heading fifty-or-so of the Wen Sect's cultivators..." When WN wakes up, the narration points out that a dozen Wen "cultivators" are standing with WQ.

So it's possible that the Wen remnants did, in fact, include cultivators. Maybe even people who fought in the war on the Wen side.

They still did not deserve their treatment, by the cultivation world in general and the Jins in particular. Maybe WQ could have done more to stop WRH and she enabled him by not doing anything. I don't really think it's worth debating the degree of WQ's complicity, because part of the point is that it doesn't matter how complicit she was or was not, or how responsible any of them were, the Wen remnants didn't deserve what they got. They are people first.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #wen qing #this sort of went all over the place #characterization reasons #and mxtx's possible thematic purposes #but there's also this trend I see in fandom and fanfic #of people specifically pointing out the wen remnants' innocence #and trying to get people to recognize how wq helped wwx & jc #and that is important #those are also related to important themes #but something I don't see a lot of #is people saying that maybe the wen remnants did have fighters #maybe they did have cultivators #maybe wq was in the wrong #and still #none of that justifies the way the wens were treated #maybe wq could have done more to work against wrh #and she made bad choices #she still didn't deserve it #and neither did her family #anon #asks #also I know you didn't imply that she or her family deserved anything #so I hope you don't feel like that discussion was targeted #I just found an opportunity #to bring up something I'd been thinking about

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