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puppyeared · 5 months

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i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend

my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.

but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)

on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.

and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(

you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth

and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!

#i dont normally write long posts like this but i think ive been trying to put this into words for a long time and it finally happened #my cloth mother spirit tracks zelda and my wire mother lttp zelda #ACTUALLY ANOTHER THING when i was a kid i always felt guilty when i had to catch the legendary at the end of the game #because to me it was like 'i know none of this is real but if i capture you and have you under my thumb am i robbing the world of something #normal thoughts for a 10 year old to have #when i talked to my brother abt this he was like 'i mean yeah the point is to dunk on the NPCs what were you expecting' and i mean i think #i get that its supposed to feel rewarding because the legendary is THE reward. but it doesnt feel right and i dislike he feeling of pushing #others down to get ahead. i guess u can argue sun/moon does smth similar where you have nebby with lillie #but lillie still ends up handing nebby over to the player and i STILL feel bad because im like shit man you raised that little guy #and koraidon/miraidon feels less like a reward but more like overpowered motorcycle lizard that is just so oupydog. and i love him #and in spirit tracks i went out of my way doing some of the side quests bc zelda asked nicely and honestly that was enough for me #i think all of this boils down to.. i feel very protective abt things i care abt so stories that give me a reason to care hits harder #this can also go the other way bc i CRIED when i finished links awakening because i KNEW every person and im responsible for #literally the end of their world. like. there was a family with 5 kids. marin loved singing and cared about me. she was my FRIEND #i just. ugh. i have too many feelings rn. i kinda wanna draw more spirit tracks link and zelda i think that wld make me feel better #yapping #diary #loz #pokemon

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even-disco-baby · 2 years

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Suggestion/request if you need any, maybe Kim and Jean talking after Kim joins Precinct 41?

PERCEPTION (Hearing) [Medium: Success] — Wait. You can hear voices just outside the window. Familiar voices. If you concentrate, you can just make out what they’re saying through the pitifully thin glass.

JEAN VICQUEMARE — “…smoke Drouins, too?”

KIM KITSURAGI — “I’m giving them a try.”

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Oh, *hell* yeah. You should go join them for a smoke.

SUGGESTION — Or… hang around by the window for a minute or two first.

YOU — What? Why?

SUGGESTION — Oh, come on, Harry. Aren’t you a *little* curious about what those two talk about when you’re not around?

INLAND EMPIRE — You don’t want to know. Don’t even think about it. Lock that thought away with her letter and anything else that might hurt you.

YOU — Isn’t it wrong to eavesdrop?

SUGGESTION — You’re not eavesdropping, you’re just getting a breath of fresh air by the window! It’s not *your* fault that your two closest friends also just so happened to be having a smoke right outside the same window. The precinct is public property, anyway. If this was a private conversation, wouldn’t they have it on *private* property?

ENCYCLOPEDIA — I think you’re confusing private ownership with privacy.

SUGGESTION — Oh, look, a new copotype. Grammar Cop.

They’re my friends, so I should respect their privacy. (Step away from the window)

They’re my friends, so they wouldn’t be talking about anything they wouldn’t talk to *me* about, right? (Eavesdrop)

INLAND EMPIRE — You’re too trusting. So are they, it seems. You’re going to be the death of each other, someday.

PERCEPTION (Hearing) [Easy: Success] — You casually lean against the wall beside the window, sipping water from the cooler and listening to the muffled voices outside.

KIM KITSURAGI — “…late nights?”

JEAN VICQUEMARE — “Everyone here works late. I’m sure you’ve noticed. But Jude and Trant have kids to look after…”

EMPATHY — He’s got nobody. That’s something you and he have always had in common.

JEAN VICQUEMARE — “This late, it’s usually just me and Harry.” He pauses, perhaps to take a drag from his cigarette. “…And you?” He asks more than says it.

KIM KITSURAGI — “And me.” His voice is flat and quiet.

EMPATHY — He’s got nobody, too.

JEAN VICQUEMARE — Another long pause. You can see Jean’s hand suddenly come into view through the glass.

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] — Don’t panic! He’s just flicking the ash from his cigarette. See, it’s fine. If you’d flinched, they might have seen you.

JEAN VICQUEMARE — “How’s the Drouin?”

KIM KITSURAGI — “Not bad. I might make the switch.”

JEAN VICQUEMARE — “Ha. I like them better than Astras, but most people disagree.”

KIM KITSURAGI — He gives a noncommittal sort of hum, nothing more.

JEAN VICQUEMARE — “Any reason for the switch?”

KIM KITSURAGI — “Just wanted to try something new,” he says lightly.

DRAMA — A lie if I ever heard one, sire.

ESPIRIT DE CORPS — Astras remind him of Martinaise. Of loneliness. Smokers on rooftops and balconies and in traffic jams. A corpse on the boardwalk. A corpse that could have been *you.*

-1 MORALE

INLAND EMPIRE — I told you not to listen.

SUGGESTION — No, no, surely if you listen long enough, you’ll hear something *good* about yourself.

Walk away.

Keep listening.

JEAN VICQUEMARE — “…Can I ask you an unprofessional question?”

KIM KITSURAGI — He hesitates, just briefly. “I suppose.”

JEAN VICQUEMARE — “Why the hell did you agree to transfer here? I mean, don’t get me wrong, we’re glad to have you.” A pause. “Well, more like we were totally fucked without you.” Another pause. “Okay, we’re still fucked, just less fucked. But you could have stayed at the harbor and *not* been fucked.”

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — If only there was as much fucking going on around here as he makes it sound.

KIM KITSURAGI — “Hm… I suppose I could have.” He pauses for a smoke. “But I think that the 41st will be… more important in the grand scheme of things than the G.R.I.H.”

ESPIRIT DE CORPS — “UN JOUR SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOI.” Whatever is coming, he feels it’s going to come here first.

KIM KITSURAGI — “And like I said, I’ve been wanting to try something new.” You can almost hear the smile in those words.

DRAMA — But they are still not entirely truthful. Oh, he *does* long for something new. That part was the truth, sire. But he won’t find it here. Deep down, he knows it. And there you find the lie he tells himself over and over again, every day he reports for duty.

CONCEPTUALIZATION — “Nulla sarà cambiato della luce.” Nothing will be changed about the light. Nothing will ever be changed…

PERCEPTION (Hearing) — Silence falls, so lengthy that you almost think that they must have finished their cigarettes and started their way back. And then—

JEAN VICQUEMARE — “I thought maybe it had something to do with the shitkid.”

COMPOSURE — To call the following silence “loaded” would be a massive understatement.

YOU — Oh… I don’t know if I want to hear this…

INLAND EMPIRE — Leave now. Please, just leave.

SUGGESTION — Stay! They care about you, that’s what they’re going to say!

INLAND EMPIRE — That’s what makes it all so sad.

Spare yourself.

Stay.

KIM KITSURAGI — “…And if it did?” His voice is calm, like deep, still water.

JEAN VICQUEMARE — “Then I was going to warn you not to bet everything on a losing dog.” His voice is calm, too. That’s what hurts the most. “You haven’t known Harry long enough to see the pendulum swing the other way. And it *will* swing, Lieutenant. It’ll happen right when you start to think that maybe it won’t. And then things will get uglier than you ever thought possible.”

DRAMA — …He isn’t lying, sire. Nor is he trying to intimidate the lieutenant. He believes every word he’s saying.

YOU — Wait, so then… then it’s true? All the progress I’ve made… is it worthless?

INLAND EMPIRE — Nulla sará cambiato…

VOLITION — No. He’s waiting for the past to repeat itself. But it doesn’t have to, Harry. At least, not always in the same way. Don’t lose hope.

JEAN VICQUEMARE — “…I’m not trying to be cruel.” His voice suddenly softens. Saddens. “I just don’t want you to end up with regrets. There’s no fixing that guy, Kim. People have tried.”

EMPATHY — *He* has tried. And for his troubles, he’s had all sorts of cruelties hurled at him. Humiliation, abuse, betrayal. Broken promise after broken promise. He’s almost exhausted any hope he ever had.

ESPIRIT DE CORPS — Almost, but not quite. That’s what hurts him the most.

-1 MORALE

INLAND EMPIRE — You’ll die at this rate.

VOLITION — Why are you doing this to yourself? Their words are not ironclad truth. You don’t need their permission to live. And you *definitely* don’t need to hurt yourself like this.

SUGGESTION — It doesn’t matter. You don’t have a choice anymore. You *need* to hear this.

Stay.

KIM KITSURAGI — An uncomfortable shuffle of nylon can be heard, even through the window. “…I appreciate your concern,” he says stiffly. And that’s *all* he says.

ESPIRIT DE CORPS — He knows he doesn’t sound like he means it, but he does. And he also knows that Vicquemare will be embarrassed, maybe even hurt, by the curt response. But he can’t think of a single word to say.

EMPATHY — It’s hard for him to face people head on like this. It’s easier when he has something to hide behind. Like you and your antics.

PERCEPTION (Hearing) — A long sigh. You’re not sure whose it is.

JEAN VICQUEMARE — And then you see Jean’s hand toss his cigarette butt into the grass. “Well, who knows? Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe you’re some kind of miracle worker. I mean, two of you apparently *attract* miracles. You know, with your pheromones.”

KIM KITSURAGI — “He wasn’t talking about *our*… khm. Actually, never mind. Let’s not start the cryptid thing again.”

JEAN VICQUEMARE — “Yeah, let’s not.” He sounds a little gruff as he says it.

EMPATHY — He is sad that no miracle ever happened for him, and angry that it came for someone else at all. But most of all, it hurts him that your miracle was someone else.

YOU — I’m sorry for forgetting…

EMPATHY — Forgetting what?

The things he did for me.

The things I did to him.

Why I am the way I am.

All of it.

EMPATHY — He can’t hear you, Harry.

VOLITION — There’s no point in being sorry for how everything played out. Your relationships with them, your sobriety, the case, the Insulindian miracle— all of it is as much a product of circumstance as anything else. A matter of who was in the right place at the right time. All you can do now is choose what to do with what came of it.

That is why they’ve run out of things to say now. They are sad and uncertain, but they have chosen to carry that. What do you choose?

To tell them I don’t need their fucking pity.

To be sorry all the same.

To distance them from me before the pendulum swings.

To make sure they never leave me alone to die.

I don’t know. I want to do what’s right, but I don’t know what that looks like.

VOLITION — None of us really do, Harry. Just do your best.

KIM KITSURAGI — “…I’m not trying to fix him.” His words come out clunky and awkward. Sudden, as if he said them against his better judgment.

JEAN VICQUEMARE — “Uh huh.” He sounds doubtful.

KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant clears his throat. “That is to say… I believe he can get better. He *is* getting better. But I don’t think… Well, let’s call it a… a chronic problem.” He clears his throat again, clearly uncomfortable.

EMPATHY — It’s hard for him to say that he doesn’t think you’ll ever put it all behind you. It makes him feel callous.

KIM KITSURAGI — “But… I think that’s all right. We all have things we simply have to learn to live with. But we do live with them. And I think he’s getting better at living with… with everything,” he finishes, trying to put it as delicately as possible. “That is all I can ask of him.”

ESPIRIT DE CORPS — Maybe someday, he’ll tell you and Jean about all the things he has learned to live with, and the times when he very nearly didn’t. But not today.

JEAN VICQUEMARE — You hear the click of a lighter. Another cigarette. “…I see. Well, if he’s made any progress, he probably owes it to you.” He makes a valiant effort to conceal the bitterness in his voice.

KIM KITSURAGI — “No,” he says quietly, “I don’t think so. I think… Well, it doesn’t really matter what I think.”

ESPIRIT DE CORPS — A freshly cleaned room. A little girl come in from the cold. A handkerchief pressed into the hands of a working class woman. A wall with the words “I LOVE YOU CUNO” painted in giant red letters. Dancing ecstatically around a hole in the world. He remembers it all, but he is at a loss for the words to explain the true miracle of it all. He wishes that Jean could have seen it and understood.

YOU — So do I…

#disco elysium #jean vicquemare #kim kitsuragi #harry du bois #requests #anon #THANK YOU FOR THIS ONE I RLLY ENJOYED IT…#jean and kim are so. interesting.#since kim is smth of a wish fulfillment fantasy for the suicidal #and jean is like… well more like the nightmare scenario ksbsjdnc of someone who you’ve managed to push to the breaking point #but who still cares about you and that’s the most painful part #so i imagine jean and kim’s dynamic to be a little tense w a slight resentment from each of them #where kim dislikes how vitriolic jean can be but also understands where it’s coming from and even feels a little guilty abt the situation #and jean is legit hurt that his friendship w harry (sort of) withstood so many years of harry being an asshole #but didn’t seem to make any difference to harry #and then in walks kim who’s just Some Guy and suddenly harry is cleaning himself up for him #but he knows that’s not fair and he genuinely likes kim so he’s just like. *miserably befriends you*#and then on top of that the case in martinaise is starting to crack through kim’s resignation to being a cop #but jean is so… well idk if anything will ever get through his resignation tbh.#‘’there is nothing more in that beloved future of yours. we are all done there. done and gone.’’#so yeah. lots of tension between them and lots of thoughts that kim can’t bring himself to share w jean which only makes the tension worse

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