#but he was still immortal so there were still a bunch of people hunting him for a while or whatever but that's not the point

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, round 2 of the losers bracket

Propaganda:

For John and Jack:

So, they both are literal murders. One of them is a little bit more insane than the other. Okay, the little bit part is not right, totally insane that is John, yes. But gonna love him though. He had been in rehab for alcohol, drugs, sex and murder. Don't kiss him, he might be wearing poisoning lipstick. They are canon mlm. They had been stuck in a two week time loop for five years, which was like leading a married life for them. They didn't actually marry, but they were partners, both in business and sexually. They worked together for an time agency. Then Jack's memories of two years were erased and he left. He went into  independent self deployment, doing scams using his knowledge of future events. After that he build an alien hunting institute in Cardiff, Wales. When John and Jack see eachother again after years, you don't know whether they will they kiss or fight. They do both. Did I tell you that along this story Jack became an inmortal who can't stay dead? No matter how or how often he dies or is killed, he keeps coming back to life. This is all very scraping on the surface, but oh boy, would it be at least a novella to describe them.

They worked together in the Time Agency where they did horrible things to the extent where Jack had two years of his memory stolen so that he couldn’t know what he’d done. They were also in a time loop together for five years where they canonically thought of each other as the wife (John was a good wife :3), and were basically married. Then they had a divorce arc and they both separately went rogue from the Agency to become conmen, although they still worked together/clashed on occasions, always still with that spark of passion. “Frenemies with benefits” Jack called them once, although John preferred “my lover, my rival, my nemesis and destiny. And bane of my bloody life.” Canon finds us where Jack has tried to reform and be a better person, but John is still chasing cons, and all he wants to do is bring Jack back to the stars with him, back to the crime and the glitter of the galaxies (it doesn’t work and he shoves Jack off a building but Jack got himself immortal so he’s fine <3) anyway I am very normal about them xoxo

In John's introduction to the series he shows up on a roof where some guy is mugging someone, grabs him by the throat and dangles him over the edge of the building while this guy begs for his life before dropping him just because he felt like it. When John and Jack interact for the first time in the show there's a super cool guitar riff, very evil western vibes, they walk up to each other, look deeply into each other's eyes, make out, then start throwing punches to Blur's Song 2. In one of the audio dramas we're told about various times where these two conned people, stole a bunch of money and gold and gems and stuff, then had sex with whoever it is they conned before (sometimes) killing them. When Jack devided he was done and left John to die John escaped and married the queen of England (Victoria) then locked Jack up somewhere to take his life force and live forever, destroying the timeline in the process. John has tried to kill all of Jack's friends at least twice to have him all to himself. He found Jack's long lost brother and when the brother turned out to be a terrible person with a vendetta against Jack John did everything he could to save Jack. Their relationship is canon but very one-sided most of the time

just this video

For the Doctor and the Master:

Immortal genderfluid war criminals <333

So we all know the Master has killed plenty of people, but, despite their reputation, the Doctor has killed a more than average number too. Sure they undid the whole destroying their own planet thing, but that's still something the Doctor did. Also there's apparently a novelization out there where, when they were children, the Doctor killed one of their childhood bullies but then made a deal with Death so that the Master had the memory of it and became Death's champion, which is pretty messed up and murder husbandish. There are plenty more war crimes on the Doctor's hands, and the Master has killed countless people in a variety of creative ways. Also, I'm having trouble finding the quote, but I swear the Master once said something to the lines of "trying to kill the Doctor is just my flirting" or something similar. But I do know Missy (also the Master but female at the time) described their relationship as "older than your civilization and infinitely more complex". They love each other, they're constantly trying to destroy each other, they are the only friends they each have who can even begin to understand everything they've been through; they've known each other since childhood and they've watched (and helped) civilizations rise and fall together. They may not be who you first think of for murder spouses but they really are a beautiful example.

[heliads]

Not sure if you write for Namor from MCU, but could you write Namor x Y/N Enemies to Lovers where Y/N is a Greek demigod who helps Namor after washing up injured and Namor pays them back by helping them deal with a monster? They’re enemies bc he still distrusts humans. Could Y/N also be a child of Hecate please?

had not seen wakanda forever but this request is so good that i specifically sought it out for you, anon. a+ job

masterlist

At this point, the man washing up on the shores of the sea isn’t even the strangest thing you’ve seen all day. Nor is he your chief concern. Normally, the boundary spells up around your city would keep out any intruders, unconscious men who might be soldiers be damned, but the boundary spells haven’t been working well as of late. That’s kind of why you’re here. 

You consider him for a while, his unmoving form, the weapons at his sides still softly clinking as the rolling surf pulls them together, then decide that this is so not your problem and leave. Men destroy themselves all the time. This one, although stranger than most, will either be able to sort himself out when he wakes or be far beyond the reach of your help.

This sort of sentiment would strike many as unkind, but to you, it is nothing uncommon. This is survival. It has never been pretty. It works as well as you let it, and one moment of mercy can spell your death in a second. Right now, you’re not just responsible for yourself, but your entire civilization as well. 

If you ask most scholars and historical enthusiasts, they’ll tell you that the lost city of Atlantis is a myth. Nothing real, just a bunch of old stories all tied together into one perplexing knot. The world loves disasters. The idea of a highly advanced Ancient Greek society sinking beneath the waves, all that knowledge and power gone forever, is highly corruptive. Some people spend their entire lives hunting down rabbit holes and paper trails to see if they could be the one to track it down, but in the end, no one actually wants to find Atlantis. The allure is in the impossibility.

You suppose that’s why they never managed it. Atlantis is somewhere out there, ripe for discovery, just as so many thrillseekers have envisioned. The only problem is that its inhabitants have absolutely no desire to be found, so no one has found it. You would know, you live there. In fact, you have lived there for a very long time. Not as long as the oldest; some of you have died by now, others have left, and many have been forgotten, but the stories of what it was like before you cut yourselves off from the world have been passed down for centuries, and you’ve heard and told most all of them.

The Atlantaens were in danger, that’s why you left the ancient world in the first place. Many scoff at the idea of the Ancient Greek pantheon today; so many gods and heroes and monsters, none of them kind, all of them doomed. We love to laugh at that which we do not understand, but the gods laugh at us for not believing, and then they damn us with curses and agents of destruction. The gods are real, all of them, and they do not take kindly to insults.

Over the course of time, while the Aegean Sea was settled and fought over, a certain kind of people tended to drift towards Atlantis. At first, the progression of its society was slow, but as rumors grew of its inhabitants, those who found they had more in common with the Atlantaens than their own people left their homes to find a true one. 

To put it plainly, Atlantis was home to the demigods, the ones chosen by the Fates for a higher purpose. Many Greeks went their whole lives without being called upon the gods. Others couldn’t have a good night’s sleep without being plagued by visions of future quests in their dreams. So much immortal attention attracted the ire of the Athenians, the Spartans, everyone. Out of fear for their lives and a desire for more, those of you touched by the Olympians went to Atlantis, and once there, you never wanted to leave.

For a while, this progression was fine. No one bothered you on Atlantis because they weren’t stupid enough to try and attack an island full of half-gods and heroes. During difficult times, though, when harvests weren’t bountiful and water supplies grew dry, it was easier for outsiders to blame the island of outcasts than their own city-states. Thieves started sneaking onto Atlantis, burning your crops before vanishing under the cover of night. Prized possessions went missing. Families were hurt.

Without a definable cause, infighting erupted between demigods. Old angers between godly parents renewed themselves among their children. Poseidon’s children swore destruction on Athena’s chosen scholars. Ares’ soldiers spit at the feet of any tinkerer of Hephaestus who crossed their path.

Eventually, it became clear to the island leaders that drastic changes had to be made before the island tore itself apart. The demigods never attacked each other before things started turning sour, so the enemy was obviously the outsiders. To solve the crisis, the strongest of the demigods turned to the gods for help, and for once, they answered. Atlantis was cast away from the rest of the city-states, veiled from mortal eyes and dragged further into the Mediterranean Sea. You still had all the resources you needed from your island, you just weren’t hurt by the mortals.

Thus life carried on for centuries. Your art and achievements continued to expand at a breakneck pace. You lived longer, accomplished more. The gods smiled upon you. Your island was huge, your society could flourish without being impeded by the limits of your land. It became clear that the bad times had ended.

Or, they had, and then the first monster showed up. Without constant invaders, the art of fighting had somewhat fallen out of fashion. Ares’ descendants would never allow it to die completely, but it had become almost archaic. The monster was eventually slain, but it sparked fear into the hearts of the Atlantaens, and made everyone realize that they weren’t invulnerable.

The people of Atlantis responded in two separate ways. Some flung themselves before their temples, praying to the gods to deliver them again. They waited in their homes for an inevitable second attack, shaking and scared. Others, like you, realized that the only ones who would save you would be yourselves. The gods respond to insult; they removed Atlantis from the mortals because their offerings were constantly raided. One monster on an island of many is not worth their concern. It is up to you to protect your people.

You have two ways of saving your island. One is through the sword. The other is with your spells. Your mother, Hecate, often visits her children in dreams to instruct them in the magical arts. You’ve learned many spells and incantations, and they’ve come in handy as more and more monsters appear. You can only hope that they will be enough to continue the defense of the island. It seems as if the attacks will never end.

And, chillingly, perhaps they never will. You and your fellow demigods, the ones that decided to fight back instead of waiting for a salvation that will never come, have made a plan to save yourselves. Part of that involves regular patrols and expeditions to the outermost reaches of the island to kill any monster that crosses your path. You have enchanted swords at the ready, plus half a dozen defensive spells burning under your fingertips. This is not the time at which you die. 

You have enjoyed many patrols over the past few years, but today, your veins are thrumming with adrenaline even more than at the start. You know something is out there. A couple of farmers turned up with bloody livestock, scared of something poaching their animals. Scales and talons have been found. If you’re right— and let’s be honest, you really don’t want to be— you’ve got a Hydra on your hands. 

That’s bad news. The monsters were small at the start; a lesser scourge here and there, a malevolent spirit, and then they got bigger. A harpy. A medium sized giant. If you’re getting hydras— well, maybe you’ll have to make some good offerings to the gods in addition to your regular training. Some divine protection couldn’t hurt at a time like this. 

That’s why you can’t afford to worry about a man passed out on your shores, not yet. Yes, he is a problem, a definitive sign that the godly interference that should be protecting Atlantis has started to slacken, but you can deal with him after you kill the hydra that’s after both of you. Always the monster you know, right? Or the monster you know is lurking in the undergrowth, ready to slaughter you and your entire island. 

You had planned on coming back for the guy, sure, but maybe his unconscious body doesn’t believe that, because you’ve hardly taken ten steps past his fallen form when he suddenly jerks to life. It’s like reanimating a corpse, how he moves; from nothing to everything all at once. His eyes go wide, and he gasps desperately for air, one hand reaching to his throat. Strangely enough, he doesn’t choke out water, but blood, a few scarlet mouthfuls before he lies on his back once more, twitching into stillness. 

You peer back over at him. Not dead yet, his chest still rises and falls with desperate breaths. It would be smart to carry on your path and only check in with this man when you’re sure a monster won’t lunge at you out of the surrounding trees the second you turn your back, but he’s spotted you already. One hand reaches out towards you, trembling, from where he lies in the surf.

He starts to open his mouth, and you silently prepare yourself for some sort of desperate plea, a call for aid. Instead, you’re surprised when all the man says is, “Were you really going to leave me to die here?”

You blink at him. “I thought you were already dead.”

He has the audacity to frown at you. “I would have died if I needed help and you didn’t provide it.”

You can’t believe he’s washed up on your island– you know, the unfindable one– and has the nerve to question your hospitality. “Same difference.”

“Not to me,” he harrumphes, and starts to sit up. So he really isn’t dead. If he isn’t dying, though, that means it actually is your duty to help him. You’re more of a soldier than a nurse, so he’d better not have any broken limbs. Seeing as you really have no choice, you bite back a bitter groan and help him at last. He eyes you distrustfully, but lets you drag him farther from the tide. You had intended to prop him up against a tree or something, but he protests when he gets too far from the water, so you settle for a smooth boulder close enough to the surf that the waves still crash over his feet.

Strangely enough, the water seems to be helping him heal. You can see the ghosts of scars criss crossing his chest, but they don’t appear to be old wounds. Instead, they might be recent. 

You squint at him. “Do you have enhanced healing?”

“And strength,” he adds. “I wouldn’t recommend trying to kill me. You would die before you got the chance.”

If this is how strangers act when you try to help them, you’re not surprised that the ancient Atlantaens asked the gods to cordon off their island. “I could tell you the same thing. Keep your hands where I can see them.”

He regards you for a second. “Why should I do what you tell me? I don’t bow to strangers.”

“Neither do I,” you force out through gritted teeth, “and right now, you’re on my land, so I suggest you learn to scrape at least a little bit.”

He narrows his eyes. The salty sea air blows his dark hair against his face, revealing more of the ornate jewelry around his neck. It looks ancient, perhaps even as old as your society. Although you’d like nothing more than for him to hurry off of Atlantis, you can’t help your curiosity and open your mouth to ask about it.

You’re cut off before you get the chance. The man doubles over all of a sudden, hands flying to his throat once more. Now that you’ve moved him farther away from the ocean, you have a better look at his wounds, and although they’re healing quickly, they look severe. Severe enough to kill him even with advanced health.

Swearing, you raise your hands and begin chanting. Healing spells have become increasingly useful as of late; Hecate’s children learn at least one before they're even knee height, and you’ve had plenty of chances to practice these sorts of incantations thanks to the sudden surge of monster attacks.

Tendrils of magic fly from your hands and wrap around the man. The spells target the injuries across his chest, his heart, his throat, and strangely enough, a few fly down to one of his ankles, repairing a set of wings above his feet. You chant until your throat goes hoarse, until he stops choking, until his breathing settles. Only then do you lower your hands, and wait there in terrible transience, waiting for him to say something.

At last, slowly, incredulously, he does. “What did you do?”

“I saved your life,” you say.

He nods. “I know. With magic?”

You incline your head. He ponders this for a moment longer, then extends a hand towards you. “My name is Namor.”

You stare at his outstretched palm, then take it. “I’m Y/N. Welcome to Atlantis.”

He doesn’t believe you at first. It appears that the rumors of Atlantis’ disappearance are more widespread than you thought if they’ve managed to reach an underwater Mesoamerican city across the world. Namor believes you soon enough, though, especially when he’s gathered his strength enough for you to lead him up a rocky cliff so he can see the majesty of your island sprawling out before him. 

The sight stuns even you, with your years of remembering it, so you’re pleased to see that Namor looks appropriately stupefied. Atlantis is a marvel; crisscrossing colonnades, magnificent gardens, marble roofs shining in the sun, temples to so many gods and goddesses that even you can’t remember them all. Children run laughing in the streets, and their parents chastise them or smile at the fun they’re having. A flock of university students chatter on their way to class. Soldiers practice in an open training yard, and the clash of bronze echoes such that you can hear it even here, on the very outskirts of the island.

“This is your home?” He asks.

You smile. “It is.”

“Why were you all the way out here, then?” Namor queries, “If not looking for dying men to ignore?”

You roll your eyes. “I saved you eventually, didn’t I?”

He laughs. “Only when I asked you to. Some would call that heartless.”

You arch a brow. “Would you?”

He takes a step closer to you. “No,” he says at last, “I don’t think I would.”

You breathe out evenly and then, to hide the sudden pressure between your ribs, change the subject. “How did you come here, Namor? Our island is under enchantment to hide us from the rest of the world. You never should have been able to come here, especially not since it’s so far from where you were.”

Namor sighs. “I don’t know. I was returning home with my people after a truce with the Wakandans. We were attacked on the way by something, some sort of monster. I don’t know what it was. We managed to kill it, but while I was leading it away from our home, it struck me through the chest. I must have lost consciousness after I struck the killing blow, and then I woke up here.”

This makes worry tie up your stomach in tight knots. “A monster?”

You look back towards your shining city. Everyone seems to be happy and carefree right now, but if your monsters are cropping up in other parts of the world– if you cannot protect yourselves, not even if you had to run from Atlantis– there is no telling how long any of you could survive, especially not if the monsters keep getting bigger.

Namor lays a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Is everything alright, Y/N?”

“No,” you say firmly, “It’s not. Our peace has been shattered as of late. More and more monsters show up on our borders. I was out here to find another one that’s been spotted recently, a hydra. Even if I kill this one, though, it’ll be replaced by two more the next day. They never stop coming.”

The look in Namor’s eyes is soft, understanding. He knows what it’s like to feel as if you cannot keep your own people safe. “I will seek out this hydra with you. I have to go back to Talokan soon, but you have my word to return whenever you need help.”

You regard him questioningly. “Why would you make such a promise? We only just met.”

He lifts a shoulder. “You saved my life, I owe you a debt. Besides, we only have so many places free of humans left in the world. We should protect each other when we can.”

You smile, then decide to tease him a little more. “You know I’m half human, right?”

He feigns disgust. “I will only help half of your city, then.”

You laugh. “And kill half the hydra? That’s ridiculous.”

“No more than someone only being half immortal,” he points out. “How does that even work?”

You grin. “I try not to think about it.”

He matches your pleased expression. “Then I won’t, either.”

And so your daily patrol is joined by a feathered serpent god. The two of you stalk silently through the forests on the outskirts of Atlantis, marking signs of heavy travel. Intent on your prey, you manage to locate it with a combination of your spells and his experience. Killing the hydra is difficult, obviously; Tartarus does not make its monsters without wanting them to be impervious to most attacks, but when the dust settles, both of you are still alive and without too much damage. The same cannot be said for the dead monster, so a win’s a win.

The two of you stand there for a moment longer, weapons in hand, and then Namor slowly, remorsefully lifts his gaze from the dead hydra to look at you. “It’s time for me to go,” he says softly, “Talokan will be expecting me. They will wonder why I have not returned. I cannot afford for them to attack Wakanda again out of some nonexistent threat to their leader.”

“I understand,” you reply. You don’t like it, though. Not nearly as much as you would have liked it when you first found him on your shores.

“I should go,” he repeats, but his weapons are gone from his hands and he’s striding towards you, closing the distance in a breath, kissing you.

“You should go,” you tell him, but his hands are on your hips and you don’t want him to let go, not now, and certainly not to a city across the sea.

“I should–” Namor begins, but you interrupt him to kiss him again. His fingers curl against your sides, and you know for certain that he wants to leave just about as you want him to.

He does force himself away eventually. Both of you understand that there is and will always be something greater than the two of you at stake. Neither of you are just a person, just a god; the fate of your homes is far more pressing than any personal want. Still, when you walk back with him to the ocean and watch him disappear beneath the glimmering blue of the waves, you know that you’ll regret every lost moment.

Still, there is hope that you might see him again. He told you how to find Talokan, and Namor is familiar with Atlantis now. You could find each other again, frame it as a need for your countries to have diplomatic relations. You could be happy again. It might take time, but it could happen. You, for one, will be counting down the days until then.

marvel tag list: @mayfieldss, @rogueanschel, @mycosmicparadise, @ellobruv, @callsign-scully, @with-inked-solace, @sher-lokid7, @eclliipsed, @23victoria, @watchreadfangirlrepeat, @gods-fools-heroes, @w1shes43, @deafsuperhero, @fadedver, @alex-1967s-blog, @crazyhearttragedy

all tags list: @wordsarelife

[legitimatesatanspawn]

Hello! Could you tell me if Sauron got wrecked by a dog before or after he created werewolves?

Sauron made them first! What follows is a recap about the creation of werewolves, the story of Huan, and why the fight is important.

Sauron bound a "fell spirit" into a wolf body, creating Draugluin. Draugluin isn't the most powerful werewolf though as that is his son Carcharoth who Morgoth handfed people meat to like he was an oversized pet. For the record to people reading this: Morgoth is Sauron's boss, who is essentially LotR's Lucifer.

It's not exactly clear what Draugluin was before getting stuffed into a wolf but it is fair to assume he was originally another fallen and corrupted Maiar. But it's possible thanks to his title as "necromancer" that Sauron shoved a dead evil human soul in there if only to match the linguistic origins of "werewolf" as "man wolf".

Sauron also could turn into a wolf himself - which was part of the Epic Fight with the Dog. The dog being Huan, who protected Luthien and helped her and Beren fight off... a whole lot of enemies overall.

Huan was literally just a dog. A dog the "size of a small horse" that was showered with a nice package of blessings so he was functionally an elf in dog form. Immortal but could be killed. Prophesied to die after speaking three times. Orome really liked that dog. Which is to be expected of the Valar Archangel God of the Hunt. Note: this is specifically hunting Morgoths's monsters, not wild animals. He likes wild animals and dogs and horses.

Why Luthien and Beren had the epic journey adventure is under the cut. As is the summary of the journey, the actual fight, and the aftermath.

Luthien's father got together with a Maiar named Melian, who was basically a one woman force of nature who protected an entire city-state kingdom by making an Unpassable Location. The kingdom Doriath was basically Hidden and Safe and Amazing and probably had a few dumb policies as is wont to happen when you're isolated and cut yourself off from the world's problems.

Beren... somehow finds his way to the forests around Doriath. Sees her. They fall in love (echoing what will later be Aragorn and Arwen and part of why Elrond is sort of Freaking Out because he knows how this story goes and while he doesn't wanna be Thingol... ).

Beren can't get killed off by Thingol's orders because Luthien managed to get him to promise not to, or to imprison him for the Audacity, so Thingol manages to get him to go along with a deal: "come back with one of the Noldor's stolen Silmarils from Morgoth's crown and you may have my daughter's hand in marriage."

This is meant to be a Solo Thing but Beren asks Finrod for advice. Finrod is a bamf and one of the big brothers to Galadriel and kicks all kinds of ass. He remembers all the drama of the Silmarils and was one of the Noldor who opposed the Oath to cross the artic ice for revenge to get them back... look there's a huge mess with the Silmarils and why Oaths are Bad and why no one trusts the Noldor or especially not Feanor or his sons. I don't want to get into it right now, their creation, or why specifically Galadriel's brother getting involved is a big thing. Like I get the reasons because that's Feanor's creation and Morgoth egged him on before swiping them, but god damn. But Finrod wasn't gonna go with them but then he didn't want to get cut off from his friends who did so he went along.

So hearing "I promised to get the Silmarils back" probably wasn't a happy moment for Finrod to hear coming out of Beren's mouth. Thank god no Grinding Ice was involved though because that was a massacre unto itself. It took around 25-30 years to cross that, or like 9 'years' as known by their calendar then. Even for an elf that's a long time.

Finrod gathered up a bunch of people but most of them got killed and captured and the survivors were taken to Sauron's island where he was still breeding Werewolves for some unholy reason. The probable meta reason is to ensure the existence of Wargs later on.

Luthien sensed Problems so she dashed out to find Beren and ran right into two of Feanor's sons and their dog Huan - who was given to one of them by Orome back when Feanor's family weren't being Ultra Stupid about the fancy cursed yet hallowed gems. And for reasons I can't remember clearly on why, they took Luthien prisoner and locked her up in Finrod's fort. Where she got chummy with Huan and Huan helped her escape (and spoke for the First time).

They got there in time to try and avenge Finrod's death. Sauron was like "oooh that Maia's spawnling. I'll be richly rewarded by my master if I bring you to him in chains" and cue the werewolf attack that Huan bamfed his way through kicking their asses. This included the father werewolf by the way, so you know Huan is a beast (affectionate).

And then Huan and Sauron fought! Sauron took the form of a wolf first and lost, but Huan got him in a chokehold with his teeth and just REFUSED to let go! No matter what form Sauron took, no matter what he did or tried to do...

Sauron got his ass kicked by a dog and it was only because of Luthien letting him go (probably laughing the whole time) so she can move on to more important things.

If you're curious about the rest of that story: Beren and Luthien snuck into Morgoth's hellish current capital by disguising themselves as his top vampire messenger/servant and the dead father werewolf. Luthien, when Morgoth tore off the illusion/disguise, continued to be a BAMF and bewitched the whole capital/fortress into falling asleep so they can pry one of the gems from the Iron Crown. Sadly Morgoth started to stir when something hit him by accident so they panicked and ran out with the Silmaril.

(Fair warning: nothing mortal can touch the Silmarils. Nothing EVIL can touch the gems either. This was by holy decree and blessing. So how Thingol expected Beren to take a Simaril back I have no idea.)

But remember when I mentioned Carcharoth, the son of the first werewolf? He woke up first because, as the guard dog who got suspicious as all get out over his "father" having "survived" (word reached him of his death), they had to first cast him to sleep before slipping into the place. Beren tried to use the Silmaril to scare him off by waving it in the air and instead he got his hand bit off for the trouble.

And then Carcharoth went nuts for a whole new reason: agony in the belly. He was put out of his agony sometime later to get the gem, but this is the best part I swear:

When Thingol saw Beren and Luthien rock up seemingly empty-handed... Beren told him to his face "even now I have a Silmaril in my hand".

Rest of the story short, Beren and Luthien got together, the wolf with the Silmaril in his belly showed up (probably was tracking them) and tried to get Thingol only for Beren to get in the way. Huan got the wolf, the wolf got Huan, Huan died with his head in Beren's other hand. Thingol got the gem, Luthien... died at some unclear point in time and convinced the Archangel Valar God of the Dead to change Beren's fate and let them be together in death if not in life. They got reborn as humans and got a happily ever after together - she gave up certain peace for an uncertain life with him..

Meanwhile, skipping over the hot mess that is Turin's life and why Thingol adopted him, Thingol got killed off by Dwarves who found out that not only did he have a Simaril but he put it in a famous Dwarven necklace "gifted" to him by Turin's blood father Hurin over how his son's life went (LONG story short: a terrible combination of Morgoth cursing people, Morgoth's dragon cursing people, Morgoth capturing Hurin and cursing him, and also Arrogance and Pride on Turin's part, and lots of soap opera drama) to create one insanely priceless artifact. This lead to the Sacking of the kingdom and a lot of death and destruction, as is wont to happen when Simarils are involved.

Honestly, Beren and Luthien should've decked Thingol when he first brought up the damn rock.

[nikethestatue]

Thank you Nike! I just finished Assassin’s Blade and moving on to TOG. I haven’t read this in years. I’m catching things that I haven’t noticed before. After Assassin’s Blade.. I noticed something that is important to SJM- loyalty.

*Calaena keeps bringing up that Sam has switched loyalty to her. He chosen her over the king of assassin. He stood up for her.

*Chaol didn’t- his loyalty was to the king and Dorian.

*Calaena didn’t choose Dorian because he didn’t stand up for her when she was “down” while fighting with Cain. That was the last straw, there were other reasons. Chaol was the one that told her to get up. Dorian apologized over and over that he was sorry he didn’t stop Cain.

*Rowan- you know, he is utterly loyal to her.

ACOTAR-

Feyre x:

*Tamlin- his loyal was to himself.

*Rhysand- clearly ALL for her.

*Nesta and Cassian- He is loyal to Nesta, but I can see that can be questionable. I will have to reread this. It’s been a while. But what do you think?

*Azriel- over and over again, he has proven his loyalty to Elain. She already sees Lucien as a betrayal. That’s beyond over.

CC-

*I don’t like Bryce. She did asked Hunt to put all in for her. That was after he was being tortured. She wants him 100% with her through whatever she demands. So, he did and that’s loyal.

Gwyn’s loyalty is still in question. Lucien is not to be trusted.

I think if anyone read all her series- they should see that Gwyn and Lucien is obviously not it. Lucien is loyal to Vassa i think, right?

Isnt it interesting how you find things when you re-read books and have more info now? It's fascinating.

As it pertains to Lucien, there is of course a huge question mark about where his loyalties actually lie.

In ACOWAR, Rhys tells Feyre that 'Lucien is fiercely loyal' and that it's one of his better qualities.

In ACOFAS we learn that Azriel doesn't watch Lucien.

Then we learn about BoE.

And in ACOSF, we have Mor saying that Lucien cannot be trusted because his loyalties have shifted and Elain is no longer an anchor that keeps him tethered to NC.

The question about Lucien is always--who IS he loyal to? Except for himself? It is just based on whichever way the wind blows?

I was talking to a mutual of mine just yesterday and I think the biggest question about Lucien is what does he want? What does he want to be? What's his ambition? Just survival? What happens when his survival is assured? I think there is a huge question mark about Lucien's whole personality and reason for existence (as a character).

What I think will ultimately happen is that Lucien will become a King Consort to Vassa (who'll become immortal somehow, or will tie her life to his) and he'll be the middle man between Fae and humans. I think that will be his 'purpose'.

As for Gwyn, I have no idea what the hell is going on with her. I truthfully do not. I don't even know where to begin speculating. She is too 'open door' to determine anything concrete about her background or storyline.

I do think that we have a bunch of people in ACOTAR whose loyalty is sus.

Amren

Mor

Lucien

Vassa

JURIAN!

Possibly Azriel

Eris

They can ALL go rogue.

[ayz0]

i posted this on twitter and then blacked out and wrote the lore in the comments so people have some context for the video lol. enjoy if u read i spose!

this is summarizing Ren & Ayzo's history and points to Ren's wishes that were granted by the Devil. each time they make these deals Ren is shackled more and more to Ayzo's will, but they also gain more power through it Ren is a comet that gained sentience, and his original form is the big fox looking thing. After landing on Earth they observed humans and other life, and after many years they became overwhelmingly lonely and sad.

Ayzo feeds on emotions, and felt this great sadness, pursuing it to the source and meeting Ren for the first time. Ayzo, being the spawn of Death, has the ability to gauge another's lifespan. It realized that this was the first other immortal it had come across, and was overjoyed, immediately wanting to stay by this creature's side and help them.

Ren's first wish was for a human form, as he had observed humanity and longed for companionship, community, to have others around him, to feel wanted. Ayzo granted the wish, creating a humanoid body for Ren. After spending years amongst humans, however, Ren misses the freedom of his old form. His second wish is to be able to shift from his new form to his old one at will, like Ayzo can. It grants this wish, too - being a shapeshifter itself, it shares this power to Ren, forming a second wrist shackle on them.

I'm still writing the next bit, but many more years later, Ren is trapped by modern humans, because of a bunch of plot reasons I won't go into, but it's a scientific facility they get stuck in. After countless experimentation and witnessing what cruelty humans will do to others, Ren develops a deep hatred for humanity. Rage brings Ayzo back to Ren eventually, and Ren makes a third wish. For the power to kill the humans in that building en masse. This grants Ren a large, powerful, corrupt version to replace their weaker original body. Unfortunately, when in this form, Ren is singleminded with blood rage and wants nothing but violence.

Ren does manage to kill many, many people in that facility (those who didn't manage to escape or hide successfully) and passes out from exertion afterward. When they wake up later on, it turns out Ayzo has finally decided Ren is now a very entertaining individual to stick around, and has Ren live with them, as there's nowhere else he could really go, and as an escaped prisoner of the facility, Ren is now being hunted by mages/bounty hunters contracted by that company (it is a scientific facility, but was military-funded)

Because of the constant proximity and spending time together, plus Ayzo's tendency to have feelings hit it like a train, it catches feelings for its old acquaintance. It treated Ren the same as any other human contract before, but now grew more sweet on him as time went on. Ayzo is reminded of Ren's immortal lifespan, and decides to let itself give into the little crush.

Over time, eventually Ayzo realizes it loves Ren, but along with this Ayzo becomes terrified of losing Ren in any way, and tightens control over him in an effort to "keep" him.

This is further complicated by the two of them having a history of casual sex and intimacy with each other. Ren is aroace, but enjoys the actual activity and everything involved, and Ayzo is just down for literally anything and anyone. So they found it pretty convenient.

Eventually, Ayzo confesses it's love for Ren, but Ren rejects this for several reasons. The biggest one being the fact that Ayzo literally owns them, and can potentially make Ren do things he doesn't want to, all at Ayzo's whims. Ren hates not being in control of his body.

Ren, seeing that he has a potential foothold for some small amount of power between them, begins to scathingly request to be let go and gives constant reminders to Ayzo that they own him, letting it know exactly how he feels on the matter, especially in regards to his autonomy.

There is more story to tell that I have got solidified (and it is juicyyy and dramatic as hell) but this is around the point where the video ends so I'll leave it here for now

[itsraining-pebbles]

combining both my special interests by assigning qsmp characters to the tma entities

Badboyhalo: End because grim reaper + edgy as fuck, BUT he is still very Eye aligned because all of the ordo is, but also hes paranoid and keeping a man in his basement for information with are very eye coded things to do

Cellbit: f!cell was probably under the influence of the Flesh bc cannibalism but q!cellbit is so very Eye coded. this man is the definition of an Eye avatar. the only thing more Eye than q!cellbit is the Eye itself

Roier: Web

Hombre Mysterioso: Dark bc like his name literally has mystery in it so its a lil bit obvious

Jaiden: Lonely marked in the saddest way possible. especially after bobby died, shes isolated herself a lot and she hasnt strongly connected with many people, and she feels like she can only really trust herself bc of everything with the federation

Foolish: Vast. hes a shark with lightning (also immortality in general is very vast coded)

Bagi: VERY Eye coded. probably hates the Flesh too

Etoiles: Hunt and the whole thing with his arm getting all weird is just him getting so deep into the Hint that its started changing him

Baghera: Eye avatar

Forever: Hunt bc wolfboy. but the Happy Pills were a Spiral thing

Pac: Lonely. like look at his whole arc rn. Lonely

Tubbo: i cant explain it but he gives off Buried vibes. like its not because of anything, he just seems like a Buried guy

Slimecicle: Spiral bc hes insane + funny

Philza: End. this man is literally the angel of death and his wife is the goddess of death. i dont think i need to justify it

Wilbur: Slaughter bc music and lovejoy as grifters bone would be great and no i dont care that wilbur doesnt fit the actual Slaughter qualifications because he fits the aesthetic and thats all that matters to me

ElQuackity: deffo Stranger bc ElQuackity is basically just a Not!Quackity

Federation workers: Stranger. its literally a bunch of ppl without faces idk what to tell you

Federation: Web or Stranger i cant decide

Ordo Theoritas as a whole: Eye coded

[druckkugelschreiber]

Okay! Here comes my The Old Guard 2 dream that had actually very little to do with what's probably going to happen in the movie, but it was so cool! I literally woke up in the middle of the night to write this shit down in my notebook and couldn't sleep for like half an hour thinking about this! Below the cut cause it might be a bit long lol

So, I was at home with my siblings and a bunch of friends. I was immortal and on Andy's team, but the team was currently in the wind, Andy included. We all knew Quynh was coming after us so we were on high alert. My friends all knew about the immortality and Quynh business as well.

Of course, Quynh shows up at my house with her own team of people. She has a bunch of immortals following her, six to be precise. They're all of various ages. Scarecrow is her left hand man and always wears a plague doctor mask.

They don't come into the house, instead snooping around the garden as if to test the waters and see if Andy is maybe there.

We watch from a first story window all a bit freaked out casue we knew if Quynh wants to take us out she can and she has to know we're in here.

My brother is like "Who's Quynh?"

Me: "The asian woman with the pale blue turtleneck" she also wore a leather jacket and had a katana strapped to her back for 100% badassery.

Quynh and her team poked around the garden for a while before they all left again seemingly having done nothing.

I attempt to follow them and they all drive their own fucking cars, like a scene from transformers. Anyway, I loose them and go back to the garden to see if they left traps or something but literally nothing.

The scene switches to a differen apartment, one can assume my dad's as he's also there all of a sudden and it's the next day.

We talk about what happened yesterday and why Quynh didn't do anything.

There's then a movie like montage that shows Scarecrow in a toyshop (still wearing his mask) and he's trying to figure out how a jumping rope works, but fails, and he gets really angry at the cashier and in the end yells "you short people are ridiculous". This was by far the oddest moment in the dream but I also feel kind of sorry for him as it was obvious he had been locked up for a long time and only recently got out.

After that it switches to Quynh hunting down Andy in a grocery store. Andy looks really tired and run down as if she had been looking over her shoulder constantly. Quynh sneaks up on Andy but Andy knows she's there but before they meet the scene cuts back to me and my friends again! My own dream giving me cliffhangers, I hate it thanks.

Anyway, my dad has to leave for work and tells us all to be careful. He gets outside but his car has been stolen -we assume by Quynh's team. He then tries to call the police but the phones aren't working either and neither are the eletronic chip to get back in the building.

I know there's an EMP at work and go to a big, yellow jeep in which one of Quynh's team is sitting. His name his Basti and I clocked him as the healer but he introduces himself as 'The Trouble'.

We have a bit of a chat in which is revealed that his equipment isn't working either.

A second guy of Quynh's team comes along, Gremlin, and I confront them both that it's not actually their EMP and they're not actually messing around with us.

Gremlin "Shit you shouldn't know that yet."

Basti "I'm sorry that's my fault."

I'm irritated at them both but take them inside with me. We have to figure out who's really hunting us.

On the way to the apartment, I go full fangirl mode talking about Andy. "I probably won't be able to reach Andy before Quynh finds her."

Basti, "probably not but the fight would have happened anyway."

Me, "yeah, Andy really hasn't been around for a while. I miss her, but one should never get between Andy and Quynh" pause, "actually that's an idea" another pause, "have I told you Andy is awesome?"

The guys were not impressed. LOL.

Back in the flat my friends found another one of Quynh's team she left there to guard us.

This one is a latina woman called Laura and she's like "ooops, got found out by a bunch of kids."

Of course then I had to be obnoxious and I shouted, "who's the best team?"

"The old guard!" my friends cheered (yes we also called us the old guard as we technically were team Andy).

Quynh's people rolled their eyes and were like "yes, yes."

They also brought their own groceries and I was like "???"

Them "well you probably don't have enough groceries to cook for all of us."

Me "oh you'd be surprised how much food I'm storing with the team always hanging out here."

I then went to call said team as we were all banding together in an Avengers like montage and said "and you better never get in between Nicky and Joe, that doesn't end well for people."

Basti "yes, we know, Quynh briefed us about all of you"

And the dream ended. Sadly. I really wanted to see Andy and just keep dreaming. It was so cool! And the dialogue is all pretty much exactly like it happened in the dream xD

Also Quynh's team:

Scarecrow- tall, redhaired, always wears plague doctor mask was locked up for a long time

Basti/ The Trouble- the healer, broad shoulders, pale blonde, beard

Gremlin- thief, the one who actually gets in trouble, dirty blonde, beard

Laura- brunette, white passing latina

A black woman with short hair who didn't get a name

An asian woman who also didn't get a name

[hellcab]

LAUGH

Prisoners, Kira and Roth were running low on options for survival. The Raiders were bickering. Some argued for ransoming them. Some argued to dump them into shallow graves. Regardless, Roth knew either outcome resulted in death. Kira knew enough to sense that much. Roth could tell, she was scared, but she’s holding together.

The thought of magic entered his mind. Yes, he could use a spell to free them. He could turn Raiders into pillars of salt or summon a winged nightmare to come pick them off. But he knew such feats of evil miracles would attract attention. After all, The Ars Goetia are hunting him, The Hellhounds have his scent. He was even limited on what tricks he could use. After all, he doesn’t want to show his true powers.

Besides, he rather not crush Kira’s skepticism and sanity as collateral damage.

The raiders butchered the family and moved in, turning this place into a festering wound. Leading the bunch, is someone named Rigor Immortal. The man was towering mountain of muscle and violence, incapable of any emotion beyond frowning. The man couldn’t even laugh.

Which . . . gave Roth an idea.

They were in the basement of the farmhouse, awaiting whatever Rigor’s choice. They both knew it would result in death. Kira sat against the cold wall, contemplating what their chances were. She’s been in rough situations before; she’s been in the fire and survived. She knew she could survive. Yet, the situation looked grim and daunting.

She looked over towards Roth, watching him as he paced about the room. She wasn’t sure that he had in mind for their survival. Despite thinking of him as annoying and delusional, she saw something strange about Roth. There’s been moments that his “story” of being The Devil seems closer to the truth. Yet, she couldn’t help but get the impression there’s something more to Roth. He was a man lies, hiding what he really was.  “Any idea how we’re going to get out?”

Kira asked, as Roth stopped and glanced with annoyance on his eyes. He scoffed, taking upon the face of utter confidence.  “Of course. I got the escape plan in mind. I know the chink in their armor.”

Somehow, Kira actually doubted whether Roth was serious or not. Again, he was delusional but somehow, so confident in his every word. “Well, Lucyfur. Roth. I sure hope you have a way out of this.”

Roth drowned at her question, sensing her skepticism of their chances, of his powers in her words. Well, considering if everything goes well, he should dispel some of that doubt. He hopes.

Soon, someone was at the door. It opens, revealing one of the vandals under Rigor’s control. He stared blankly, motioning for Kira and Roth to follow. “Boss wants ya’. Boss wants both of ya’.”

Forced to follow, Kira and Roth walked with the glassy eyed vandal towards the “throne” of Rigor. The camp was a total mess, an encampment of chem craziness. Roth almost felt bad for these people. Then again, they were butchers.

The raiders gathered around the pair as they soon came face-to-face with Rigor Immortal. The towering bastard was clad in leather and metal. He sported an American flag, wearing it around his waist like a sash. He bore many scars around his face, some of which were self-inflicted during one of his “pain rituals”. He’s built a religion on pain, on suffering. Rigor told his followers it was liberating to cause pain in others. That it would make them stronger and free them from suffering.

What a stupid motherfucker, Roth thought.

Rigor’s blank stare lingered on Kira, then his eyes turned to fiery hatred for Roth. It was Roth after all, which annoyed Rigor the most. “You come before me as prisoners. I’ve decided your fate. I shall ransom you . . . . but diamond city doesn’t need to know you’re still alive.”

At that, Kira’s heart sinks deep and heavy. She grits her teeth, her eyes slightly more scared than before. She must fight, somehow. She must fight. She glanced to Roth, seeing him snickering. In fact, Rigor sees Roth snickering and wonders why. “Why are you laughing, small man?”

Roth soon started laughing some more, now confident. The raiders are all confused by Roth’s constant giggling and amusement, Roth final gives ana answer. “Oh! Oh, it’s just . . . . well, it’s the funniest joke I’ve ever heard. Just so funny . . .  but uh, well you wouldn’t understand. It would go over your drug-abused brain.”

Rigor sneers at Roth, he wanted to know what was so funny about the joke. He steps forward and grabs Roth, hoisting him up as Roth still laughs.

“TELL ME THE JOKE YOU PATHETIC WORM!”

Stopping, Roth glances down as he’s being held up by Rigor. “

“Promise to let us go if you laugh?”

If Rigor could smile, he would. What a stupid request, but out of “good” humor he’ll “grant” the request. After the joke, he’ll rip Roth to pieces and feed him to the dogs.

“Yes, yes, I’ll let you and the doctor women go. If you tell me the joke.”

Setting Roth down, The Warlock brushes off his clothes and then signals Rigor in. The raider chieftain frowns and leans in, as Roth whispered the joke. Everyone tried hearing in on the joke, even Kira. She wondered where Roth was going with this. How was this supposed to save them?

Rigor listened and then backed away. His face trembles as ( to everyone’s shock ) started to smile and then laugh. He laughed harder and louder, with his raiders joining in on the laughter. Soon, everyone was laughing with Rigor, even Kira was chuckling nervously. Roth, however, simply stood and watched. But for Rigor, the laughter came on its own, he had no control over it. He laughed and laughed, as his lungs strained at the demand. His face contorted into a smile, as his eyes watered. He grabbed his chest, feeling his heart was being crushed by a vise. Still, he laughed as he collapsed and started coughing up blood.

Soon, the raider camp was filled with fear and uncertainty as Rigor laughed himself to death. Each is unsure of what they can do or what can be done. Kira and Roth watched as Rigor laughed to death. The massive raider collapsing and going silent. Still, with his heart dead and his lungs busted. One raider went over to insect him, turning his corpse over to reveal a horrific smile. “Whelp, that settled it! We’re free to go, just as your boss instructed!”

Roth said as he soon started to leave, Kira joined him as they were watched by fearful raiders on each side. Each was too afraid to stop the duo. Each afraid to go face-to-face with Roth. Kira just wondered about the Joke Roth told Rigor. She asked him, curious about the joke itself. But, not wanting to hear it. “Roth   . . . . what the Hell did you tell him?”

Roth smiled and talked.

“Oh, just the funniest joke in the world. But honestly, it’s funnier in German.”

[theramblingvoid]

Thinking about how much I love weight gain as a symbol of healing in fiction. Your superhero character having a dad bod in his happy epilogue because he's retired from the biz now and can live a full life instead of training for the cameras and to not be killed by villains 24/7. Your dystopia YA heroine becoming chubby in the peaceful world she built because she is no longer running on fear and adrenaline and has the space to become soft and comfortable. Your character who went through emotional hell in the first and second book of the trilogy and is relearning how to care for their body and nourish it and love life again in the third. This also applies to characters who were never "skinny" or "underweight" beforehand btw. Less weight gain in fiction as an indicator of "letting yourself go" more weight gain as an indicator of how far you've come.

[lexacoolfox]

Hi!!!!Can I have separate headcanons of obanai, sanemi, tengen, and rengoku dating a tall male s/o(even taller than tengen) who is a sorta like a vigilante that kills demons and can easily kill lower moons . They are also an immortal zombie that can’t die no matter what and they fight with giant meat cleavers and multiple knives. They are not associated with the demon slayer corps thinking they are all stupid and dumb and that they only get in the way and prefers to handle all of it themselves. He kills demons in brutal and scary ways and it’s kinda a horrifying scene to watch and really just bloody which causes people and demons to run away and be scared or vomit. But besides that they are really overprotective of them and will fight all there battles for them no matter how mad they get and even take damage for them. They also kinda have super strength too and are quiet only when they do speak they respond like a cavemen with broken English.

Ok, I’ve never done anything like this before…but I’m not about to back down from a challenge! I will do my best not to disappoint!

Sanemi Shinazugawa

So sanemi saw you while he was on a mission to find a demon and kill it. He found it but all the sudden two knives flew and stabbed the demons legs causing them to fall to the ground. You then quickly ran to it has he held up his head and used a meat cleaver to chop off it head. Then a bunch of blood sprayed out of its neck.

Sanemi was hiding behind a tree but got a good look at your face and you had a couple of scars and stitches across your arm and a little bit on your face. You were also pretty tall and had a nice build, sanemi was was red cause of how hot he thought you were.

After that he asked master Oyakata about you. But the master had no idea who you were. The master then sent a message to all demon slayers about the individual. Nobody knew who you were. The master came to the conclusion that you must be a vigilant. Which confused the master and the hashira. Why don’t you join them?

Oyakata order ever hashira to find you and try to bring you to headquarters.

Sanemi actaully found you by pure luck, he saw you killing a group of demons. He was surprised by how quickly you did it. As he was approaching you he stepped on a twig that snapped. You quickly snap your head and you saw him. Faster than he could blink you pinned him to the ground holding a meat cleaver to his throat. You looked at him for a second and you realized that he was a human. So you remove the meet cleaver from his throat. You gave him your hand or help him up to which he accepted. You were about to leave before he stopped you.

“Wait! What’s your name?”

“Y/N L/N”

“My master sent me to bring you to the demon slayer headquarters!”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Demon slayers…get in my way…I do it…by myself…go away…”

You were barely able to say a sentence. Your speech was terrible. You looked at him one more time

“Cute.”

The you were gone. Leaving a flustered sanemi.

He kept trying to find you while also hunting demons. One night a demon was about to attack him from behind but then some knives was thrown into his eyes, then you came and sliced his head off while also slicing his chest and legs. It was your breathing technique.

“Thanks you really saved me.”

“Cute.”

Before sanemi can respond a demon came and stab his claw thru your stomach. As he pulled his claw out but you were still standing. Your turned around and sliced off the demons arm and then sliced his head. The area you were in was pretty bloody. Your stomach made some weird noises and it slowly regrow.

Sanemi then held his sword to you

“Your a demon!”

“No…not demon.”

But he didn’t believe you and sliced your head off. But you just walked over to your head and put it back on your shoulder.

“What are you!?”

You shrugged your shoulders, cause you yourself didn’t know. Then went away.

Then this little relationship started.

Anytime sanemi was fighting demons you would jump in if he was about to be injured and take the hit. And kill the demons pretty brutally. Sometimes demons slayers were near by, some would run away or puke.

“I don’t need your help! I can handle things by myself!”

“Cute.”

You said as lean down and kiss him. To which he blushed and starts yelling at you. Cause he’s a Tsundere. You stuck around even when the sun came up.

You didn’t burn in the sunlight, so it’s definitely true your not a demon. You guys went back to your place. It was actually well built and had a lot of room. You lead sanemi to the couch and sat him down, then went to the kitchen to make some food. You actually made his favorite food. He’s had plenty of ohagi but this was the most delicious ohagi he’s ever had. He just got an even bigger crush on you.

He understood why you thought the way you did about the demon slayer. But he still wanted you to at least meet his master and hashira. But still you would deny his request.

You two got close and your relationship eventually got romantic. Sanemi was really happy to be with you and you loved sanemi very much.

He does get mad when you take hits for him, even though you would be just fine. I think he hates that the one he loves gets hurt under his care. It makes him feel like a failure.

Sanemi also tries to help you speak better. He tries his best to be patient with you, cause he know that you didn’t have anybody to teach you.

He does get a little mad when you just for no reason pick him up and kiss him. Cause 1 he considers that as you saying he’s short 2 he wants to be the how do you say ‘dominate’ one in the relationship and you just kiss him like your the dominate one. And 3 you always say ‘cute’ after you kiss him.

Uzui Tengen

Tengen found out about you from one of his wives. She was concerned and thought you were a demon. You looked really strong to her. So he went to the district where she saw you. It was true indeed there were some demons in the district, before he could kill them somebody came in and killed them.

Tengen thought you killed them very flamboyantly and he considered you to have a skill of a hashira. The weapon of choice was strange to him. Multiple knives and meat cleavers. There was blood sprayed everywhere.

After you were done he got behind you and tapped your shoulder. (Also keep in mind your taller than him.) to which you quickly turn and hold a meat cleaver to his throat. Until you realize it a person then you put it down.

“Who…are you?”

He noticed how broken your speech sounded

“I just came here to say, you defeated those demons very flamboyantly! I’m impressed!”

“…flam-flem-flum…”

It’s the first time you ever heard the word ✨flamboyant✨ so you were confused when he said it.

“Are you perhaps a new demon slayer?”

“No.”

“You should join then!”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Demon slayers…don’t like it…dumb…I handle it by…myself…”

Then just as suddenly as you appeared, you disappeared.

For the next coming days you were stuck in his head. The same for you he was stuck in your head.

So one time you saw him and followed him, you were actually very stealthy.

He was about to be attack by a demon, you threw some knives into its feet and then ran and chopped off its head. But before it disappeared it got a good scratch on your face.

Uzui looked at you and saw how your face reconnected, it had healed itself. He then backed away from you

“Your a demon?”

“No.”

He wanted to believe you. But he couldn’t prove that. So he sliced off your limbs along with your neck. But then your limbs started to connect to one by one. He was really suprised, you then just left.

The next time you meet he had his three wives. You threw some knives into a demons eyes as a demon was about to bite suma. Then you chopped off its head and proceeded to massacre the demons. Makio was stunned, suma was near a tree throwing up because of how bloody and scary it was, Hinatsuru was hiding behind uzui.

After you were finished you turned to them. Looked at them for a few seconds and noticed some had injuries. You started walking away but then turn hand made a motion with your hand as a sign to follow you. So they did, they ended up at a nice house. You pointed to a couch as a sign to sit down. Then you grabbed a message kit and started treating their injuries. After that you made them some food.

“I don’t believe I caught your name the last time we meet. What is it?”

“Y/n L/n”

“We’ll thank you ver much l/n”

After that you would often visit or accompany uzui and maybe his wives on missions.

You got really close with him then his wives.

Overtime they all practically adored you even though you didn’t talk a lot.

They still found the way you kill demons to be terrifying. They still tell you what a great job you do.

You also protected them by sometimes making yourself a human shield. Not like it mattered you wouldn’t die, but they still didn’t want you to be a shield. Suma would cry when you get hurt. Makio would scold you. Hinatsuru would ask you not to do that. Uzui would thank but tell you that he would be just fine without your help.

One time for no reason at all, you picked up uzui and his three wives. Uzui was suprised cause he’s pretty heavy, and you can pick up his wives? What even are you.

Since you mostly just say simple words. You gave all little nicknames that refer to them

Suma: cute

Makio: adorable

Hinatsuru: beautiful

Uzui: flamboyant

Eventually your guys relationship became romantic, and you became uzui’s first husband

Kyojuro Rengoku

He was on a simple mission to take care of some demons, what he didn’t expect was to see them all ready dead. He then saw a figure taller than the sound pillar. With two meat cleaver in his hands.

The scene was kinda out of a horror movie. Blood everywhere and you had some on your face. With bloody meat cleavers.

Saying Rengoku was a little bit intimidated would be a understatement. But he kept his composure and made his presence

“I can see you did my job for me! I’m impressed that you handle them all by yourself!”

You quickly turned to him and not said anything. You just nodded your head.

“I am Kyojuro Rengoku! The flame pillar! Might I know your name!”

“Y/n L/n.”

“Wonderful! Would you like it come back to headquarters with me and become a demon slayer!”

“No.”

“Why not! You would no doubt become a hashira very quickly!”

“Demon…slayers get…in way…rather…do it…myself.”

Then you ran off before he could say anything.

The next night he was in a nearby town not the one to far away from the one he found, he heard a ruckus in a nearby and went to check it out.

He saw you fighting demons one cut off your arm, but you were able to finish the fight with one arm. After that was finished. You took your arm and a piece of thread and sewed your arm together. It slowly started to connect to each other.

Rengoku has never seen a human or demon do that before. Where you a new type of demon? But demons have been the same for years? You also fight other demos? Are you just a different type of human? Do you burn up in the daylight? Do you die if your head is chopped off?

So he followed you around. Funny thing is, you knew he was following you. So when daylight came and you didn’t disappear, Rengoku determined that indeed you weren’t a demon. That’s when you called for him.

“I…know you is there.”

“You knew I was there! You must have pretty good senses!”

You turn to him and nodded. Then you both walked back to your place, it was kinda nice. Rengoku sat on your couch as you made food. Then you brought out two bentos for you and him.

He was impressed by how delicious it tasted. It’s suprised you when he started yelling

“UMAI!”

With every bite. ‘Loud.’ Is all you thought. But you liked that smile and enthusiasm he was carrying.

At one point you were staring at his hair. You’ve never seen any like it. It fascinated you.

He noticed and said

“I can see your staring at my hair! Do you like it?”

You nodded.

Then he tells you how he got it from his father. Then he goes on a long conversation about his family.

Even though you weren’t much of a talker you were a great listener.

Friendship unlocked.

You two would often meet during a mission, you would help him out to which he appreciated, he did get worried when you would get hurt but you showed that you would be fine.

At one point during your guys friendship, you meet his family. His dad was…tolerable. You hated how he treated Rengoku, but you kept your angry deep inside him. You didn’t want to cause any drama. But his brother was a different story. He was very pleasant you adored him as you were having tea and were eating food while he talked to you. You had a blissful smile and thinking ‘cute.’

Rengoku was slightly jealous, he’s glad that you and his brother got along. But he was slightly jealous by the face you had because of his brother.

Mugen train scenario.

You were with him on the mugen train, that’s were you meet tanjiro, inosuke, and zenitsu.

You though tanjiro was a nice kid and found it weird how he was traveling with a demon.

You definitely like inosuke, he had bad speech too, not as bad as you. He also had sharp weapons.

Zenitsu was even louder than Rengoku. Which you found annoying. The crying he was doing was annoying too.

When everybody was asleep you wondered why. It wasn’t just those four it was everbody. Whatever you are, you had a resistance to the sleep spell or whatever didn’t affect you. When you noticed some children with some ropes and weapons, you quickly took care of them. And no you didn’t kill them. You just tied them up with the rope they had.

Later when tanjiro awoke and went to fight enmu. you notice how the train was changing it looked like flesh. It went for the passengers. You started slicing with not mercy, protecting the passengers and rengoku while they were still asleep.

You where able to protect most of the carts until Rengoku woke up. You got to see him in a lot of action. You’d be lying if you thought it wasn’t hot. (Also I didn’t mean to make that a pun.)

How to fight with Akaza ended with you their.

When smoked clear. Tanjiro saw not Rengoku with an arm in his stomach but you with an arm in your stomach.

Your meat cleaver was so close to chopping his head off completely just a couple of more inches would’ve done it. But he knocked off your head which made your body go limp. He was able to escape before day break.

Tanjiro, inosuke, and zenitsu were crying, and mourning over your ‘death’. Rengoku picked up your head and put it in your arms. Then you placed your head on top of your shoulders. The trio saw this and first shocked but then filled with an overwhelming sense of joy.

After that incident, Rengoku a couple of days later confessed his love to you, he wasn’t sure at first but when you stepped in and saved his life he knew you were the one for him. Since your not to good with words you reply with action. By that I mean you kiss him, he’s shocked at first but then started slowly kissing back.

Rengoku was glued to your hip constantly, and was always talking. It could be about a mission or literally anything. He just loves talking to you. You actually really like listening to him, you aren’t the best with words, so you’d rather listen than say anything.

Sometimes when you go to his place, he’s their training rather the trio are their or Mitsuri. You don’t mind the trio. You kinda did got caught like a thing like in a tv show with Mitsuri. Were she just sees you and you see her, and your just quite for a few seconds. Then you book it out of their. After it happened the first, Rengoku made sure to tell you about Mitsuri and how she’s not dangerous. So the he next time you meet her Rengoku there and gave a proper introduction. She was nice and squealed that you two are a super cute couple

Obanai Iguro

When he first saw he instantly knew you weren’t human and assumed you were demon. Then tried killed you without hesitation. He sliced off your head but then heard movements. You weren’t disintegrating into nothing.

You then walked over to your head and put it back on your shoulders.

Obanai was about to say something, before you threw a knife right past him. It hit a demon that was behind him. You then ran and used your meat cleavers to kill it you did I spinning type of move, you cut off the demons head and limbs. Which cause a lot of blood to spray out.

He was kinda shocked and intimidated. some big body, creature, that can’t die, that moves fast, have knives and meat cleavers, and can kill demons likes it’s nothing.

You turned to look at him and then just walked away.

After that meeting, you both were on each others mind.

One fateful night was Obanai was having a particular hard mission. He was already badly wounded and demons were appearing left and right. Then you came in to save him, you quickly took down the demons in the area. It was impressive how fast you were moving.

After you were finished. You turned to him and picked him up. You carried him to your place and patched him up, you also made him some food.

He just stared at it for a while, he was nervous to pull down his bandages. You looked at him, and wondered why he wasn’t eating.

“Need…eat…need…strength…to heal.”

He didn’t expect your speech to be so broken. But you made a good point he needed to eat to get strength.

So he pulled down his bandages and you saw why he hid it. He looked over to you to see your reaction. All you had was a smile on your face.

You thought the scar was cute and loved his eyes. You also thought his snake was really adorable.

“What’s with the look?!”

You got up, and sat next to him and started tracing the scar with an even bigger smile

“Cute.”

He got red and probably feel in love with you in that moment

Overtime you two got to become really good friends.

You would visit him and go on mission with him.

He wanted you to join the demon slayers and you decline and tried to tell him why. With the limit speaking skills you have, it was hard to understand but he got a pretty good idea why.

His snake Kaburamaru loves to sleep into your hair

(A/N: in this headcanon you have long hair, like Rengoku just a lot longer and fluffier.)

Obanai confessed when one night you two were having dinner together. You already finished and you just watched him with a smile on his face. He told you how he loved you, you made him so comfortable even with his mask off. He also loves how your willing to protect him and he can’t image where he’d be without you. Like Rengoku you prefer action over words. So you got up and kissed him.

That’s how you two got together

He loved you so much. But he scolds you when you protect him by throwing yourself in danger.

“Just because you can’t die, doesn’t mean you should just throw yourself in danger.”

When you two cuddle in bed he doesn’t wear his bandages and you wrap your arms and legs around him, you had no problem doing it. Considering how much smaller he is compared to you.

If he’s feeling insecure about his scar, you often kiss along the scar, to the point where he softly laugh.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What would happen if Voldemort was caught in a time loop from say, his resurrection through the battle of Hogwarts?

He has an absolutely miserable time.

Loop 1

So, first, some thoughts on Tom Riddle and his demise. At that point, I think he was pretty much committing suicide. He was done, with everything, and with everyone.

And then he wakes up, if you can even call it waking up. He's suddenly in agony, every bit of him aches, and it feels like he's been stuffed into a body that just doesn't work. That's because he has, he's been resurrected in the graveyard in a homunculus body.

And there's Harry Potter, again, like always.

And Tom Riddle has to do this all over again.

Suddenly, he just doesn't have the energy for the Voldemort get up. He doesn't summon his followers, doesn't murder Harry or Cedric, he just leaves to get himself a drink. Probably doesn't work because I doubt that body can consume alcohol.

Barty is caught and put to death.

"My Lord, what are your plans?" Pettigrew asks nervously, Tom thinks about summoning the Death Eaters, about breaking Bella and the others out of prison, but he's just so tired.

Plus, most of them die anyway, and the ones that don't probably go on to live worthless lives or else were erased out of existence. Tom goes, "Eh" and continues drinking.

This leads to hilarious events as Dumbledore is still preaching up and down that Voldemort has returned except... now there really is 0 evidence. Dumbledore is accused of tampering with the goblet: the theory being he kidnapped Cedric and Harry, cast some illusion to make them think Voldemort has returned, and is now using them as mouth pieces so that he can oust Fudge and put in his own puppet/run himself. Everyone just feels sort of bad for Harry and Cedric, Harry becoming increasingly pissed off.

Harry also occasionally has the weird dream of Tom Riddle being utterly wasted and hating life. He's sure he's learning something very important!

Regardless, because Tom no longer even cares about the prophecy or even punishing Lucius, there's no scheme to get it: Lucius would just fuck it up anyways. As a result there's no battle at the ministry, Sirius lives, but the government does not discover that Voldemort's been resurrected.

Instead, Dumbledore is arrested for planning a coup and training child soldiers, as Harry still sets up the DA. Tom, when he hears the news from Snape, thinks this is utterly hilarious.

Tom decides to continue his plan of doing nothing, seems to get better results than whenever he does try to do anything.

There's a giant trial that is the most corrupt thing in every way imaginable for Albus Dumbledore. And it's filled with such hot gossip. Everything comes out: hiring Hagrid as a professor despite his complete lack of credentials/all the injured children, all the debacles going on under Dumbledore's control, the DA, and Dumbledores relationship with Grindelwald.

Dumbledore tries to insert his own people into the trial to get him out but the ministry's doing the same thing. Seeing that it's tied, Tom tries to influence on the sidelines to get Dumbledore thrown in jail, because it'd be funny.

Well, he's not thrown in jail, but he is dismissed as Headmaster. But Minerva inherits the position and immediately makes Dumbledore Honored Advisor, and Headmaster in all but name. Tom can't even.

Dumbledore starts horcrux hunting in earnest, ruins his hand and sentences himself to death, and starts prepping Harry for his task. Tom, meanwhile, still isn't doing anything.

The horcrux hunt happens, Harry thinking this is all very important, except at the very end of it... He can't find Tom Riddle. How can he kill Voldemort if he can't even find the guy? Snape would help, except he doesn't know where to find the guy either: Tom decided to take a vacation to France and has yet to come back.

The day of the battle occurs and...

Loop 2

Tom's back in the graveyard.

He lets out a very long sigh.

God, this is just going to be forever, isn't it? When he said he wanted to be immortal, this wasn't exactly what he had in mind.

Tom decides he has to do something about this, because this is just silly now.

He spends the next several loops researching what the hell is even happening to him and if this is a consequence of soul shenanigans. No one has any idea, because this never happens to anyone.

Loop N

Tom decides to get reckless. New plan: time turners. All the time turners.

He raids the Department of Mysteries, gets himself a bunch of time turners and... undoubtedly makes things worse.

Likely, his entire current situation is due to the fact that Tom[N] decided to use time turners to solve his problems. This created the situation in the first place, and now he's stuck in loops forever.

Tom finds a note somewhere: "Tom, don't use the time machine! - Love Tom" and just dies inside.

Loop N + 1

At some point Tom just legitimately stops caring and does whatever the hell he wants. This is just how his existence works now, he is a mayfly who lives forever, only a few short years until he loops again.

I imagine he dedicates himself to trying to figure out how to stop looping and get himself into a body that doesn't suck. Anything else is just kind of pointless.

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, round one of the losers bracket

Propaganda:

For John and Jack:

So, they both are literal murders. One of them is a little bit more insane than the other. Okay, the little bit part is not right, totally insane that is John, yes. But gonna love him though. He had been in rehab for alcohol, drugs, sex and murder. Don't kiss him, he might be wearing poisoning lipstick. They are canon mlm. They had been stuck in a two week time loop for five years, which was like leading a married life for them. They didn't actually marry, but they were partners, both in business and sexually. They worked together for an time agency. Then Jack's memories of two years were erased and he left. He went into  independent self deployment, doing scams using his knowledge of future events. After that he build an alien hunting institute in Cardiff, Wales. When John and Jack see eachother again after years, you don't know whether they will they kiss or fight. They do both. Did I tell you that along this story Jack became an inmortal who can't stay dead? No matter how or how often he dies or is killed, he keeps coming back to life. This is all very scraping on the surface, but oh boy, would it be at least a novella to describe them.

They worked together in the Time Agency where they did horrible things to the extent where Jack had two years of his memory stolen so that he couldn’t know what he’d done. They were also in a time loop together for five years where they canonically thought of each other as the wife (John was a good wife :3), and were basically married. Then they had a divorce arc and they both separately went rogue from the Agency to become conmen, although they still worked together/clashed on occasions, always still with that spark of passion. “Frenemies with benefits” Jack called them once, although John preferred “my lover, my rival, my nemesis and destiny. And bane of my bloody life.” Canon finds us where Jack has tried to reform and be a better person, but John is still chasing cons, and all he wants to do is bring Jack back to the stars with him, back to the crime and the glitter of the galaxies (it doesn’t work and he shoves Jack off a building but Jack got himself immortal so he’s fine <3) anyway I am very normal about them xoxo

In John's introduction to the series he shows up on a roof where some guy is mugging someone, grabs him by the throat and dangles him over the edge of the building while this guy begs for his life before dropping him just because he felt like it. When John and Jack interact for the first time in the show there's a super cool guitar riff, very evil western vibes, they walk up to each other, look deeply into each other's eyes, make out, then start throwing punches to Blur's Song 2. In one of the audio dramas we're told about various times where these two conned people, stole a bunch of money and gold and gems and stuff, then had sex with whoever it is they conned before (sometimes) killing them. When Jack devided he was done and left John to die John escaped and married the queen of England (Victoria) then locked Jack up somewhere to take his life force and live forever, destroying the timeline in the process. John has tried to kill all of Jack's friends at least twice to have him all to himself. He found Jack's long lost brother and when the brother turned out to be a terrible person with a vendetta against Jack John did everything he could to save Jack. Their relationship is canon but very one-sided most of the time

just this video

For Dina and Ellie:

They do justified murders, but murders none the less. Is it really that bad to kill a few dozen people with your gf if your trying to get revenge in this big horrible world?

Spoilers, but Ellie decided to go on a big old revenge murder spree and Dina was a super supportive girlfriend and went right along with her. The two of them killed A Lot of people together. Admittedly Dina eventually tapped out on the whole revenge murder thing eventually, but I feel like they definitely need to be in this tournament.

[ladykissingfish]

drunk Akatsuki hc? 🥺

Ask and ye shall receive! ((Sorry it took so long to get to/finish this. Also get the nagging feeling I did a post very similar to this before but 🤷🏽‍♀️ piss poor memory so))

Drinking with the Akatsuki

Kakuzu

Takes a lot to get him drunk; his alcohol tolerance is pretty damn high. And when he does reach that point, he becomes … very unlike himself. Friendly, smiling, and extremely loose with his precious money. Kakuzu being drunk is the best time to ask him for an advance on your pay, or a personal loan. Another bonus: drunk Kakuzu is storytime Kakuzu. When he’s sober, the others don’t really like listening to his stories because they’re all boring as hell, and are usually centered around some point that he’s trying to nag everyone on. But drunk Kakuzu, well, he’ll tell you about brawls, dangerous stunts he pulled when he was a kid, sometimes even old lovers. He can keep the rest of the Akatsuki enraptured for hours with his intoxicated tales. The morning after a night of drinking is a different tale, though. He’ll remember loaning money to people and hunt them down to make sure that know they have to pay him back, and he’ll deny like crazy any story tidbits that the others bring up to him. Will also go through several pots of pure black coffee in an effort to de-hangover himself more quickly.

Pein

The Pein bodies don’t drink, but Nagato will, very rarely. Beer is his drink of choice, and he’ll opt for foreign rather than domestic. He’s not really the type to get full-on drunk (no matter what he’s the Leader and he carries himself as such), rather he’ll just get slightly tipsy. If he gets tipsy enough he’ll rant a bit to whoever’s closest about pain, and the unfairness of life, and anything else that would put a downer on happy drinkers’ moods. He always hopes that the alcohol will help him to sleep (he’s a horrible insomniac) but most times it just gives him a slight headache while leaving him wide-wake and dry-mouthed.

Hidan

Nobody wants to be around this guy when he’s had too much to drink, because the normally violent Hidan becomes even more so after hitting the booze. He’ll be willing to take on any and everyone, from teenagers to old men. And being immortal doesn’t help matters any; he could literally get torn limb from limb and his mouth would still be taunting his opponents with “Is that the best ya got, bastard??” Drinking also brings out his creative side when it comes to his human sacrifices and Jashin rituals; he’ll think up new (and horrible) ways to torment and kill his victims. Is the type to finally, FINALLY just completely pass out after reaching his final tolerance point, and the others will (reluctantly) drag him to his room and put him in his bed. Not many are willing to do this, however, as most times before he passes out he’ll have stripped himself completely naked.

Tobi

An emotional drunk. Gets sad and cries over practically anything. And it doesn’t take much to get him tanked, either; his tolerance level is embarrassingly low and he’ll be ready to sob after just a couple of glasses of wine. Tobi tries to avoid drinking when he can because he knows there’s a good chance of him dropping his persona and letting the others see Obito Uchiha. In fact this HAS happened a few times, where he’a taken off his mask and everything; fortunately for him the others were so gone that the next day they either didn’t remember, or believed that had just imagined the whole thing. Likes to soothe himself by slurring sad love songs at the top of lungs, joined most frequently by Deidara and Hidan. Will also drunkenly stuff his face with meats, which is a complete opposite from his sweet-loving sober self. He can throw down a dozen burgers when boozed up, the results of which will likely be in puddles all over the floor the next day. Will go to his bed and turn around in circles a bunch of times, like a dog, before finally going to sleep. “Tobi” will be the quietest he’s ever been the next day, as he fights a massive headachy hangover.

Konan

For being such a thin, delicate girl, Konan can hold her liquor right up there with the likes of Kakuzu and Kisame. One might never even know that she’s drunk to begin with; she walks perfectly straight, doesn’t slur her words, has almost perfect reflexes and normal mannerisms. One thing always gives her away, however; drunk Konan is hungry Konan. Under normal circumstances the little lady sticks to a healthy diet and isn’t one for over-indulging in anything. One shot or beer too many, and suddenly the gloves are off. Konan will make pizza, hotdogs, gigantic sundaes, cakes and pies … and devour almost all of it. She’ll share with the others if asked … but most times she’s eaten so much that there’s not much left to share. When she’s finally had her fill, she’ll go to bed … and wake up feeling sick as a dog the next morning. After the nausea passes, she’ll force herself to go for a long run or walk, no matter how much her head may be aching, in order to work off her excessive calorie intake.

Zetsu

Zetsu doesn’t drink, because alcohol interferes with his plant genetics, acting as literal poison to his system. But he enjoys being around the others when they’re drunk, to see the different types of personalities that emerge. Likes to hang around Hidan in particular, as the man’s sacrifices pick up significantly when he’s drunk, meaning Zetsu has more of a smorgasbord of leftovers to pick from

Sasori

As a puppet, Sasori doesn’t drink. But when he was a human, it was a different story. He turned himself into a non-human at a very young age, much younger, of course, than would have been the legal drinking age. But his grandmother kept a variety of wines in their home, and when she was away, he liked to pour himself a glass. Always only a single glass; he was intelligent enough both to know that his grandmother would notice if any larger of a quantity was missing, and, already dabbling in making poisons at this point, he understood the concept of “tolerance” better than most. But the single glass was enough; it seemed to comfort him during those nights when he was missing his mother and father. The wine also served as a brain-opener for him, of sorts: it was over wine that he first got the idea of turning himself into a puppet.

Deidara

Being young and so slender, and not having much experience with alcohol before joining the Akatsuki, the blonde is a bit of a light-weight when it comes to the hooch. He doesn’t really care for beers or ales (he compares the taste to “cat-piss”) and instead goes for the fruity mixed drinks that don’t SEEM that strong … until you’ve had about three or four, and they put you on your ass. Deidara becomes very lovey-dovey when drunk, and not just in a romantic sense. Alcohol makes everyone in the world his friend, and he’s suddenly interested in what others have to say about life and art. He’s even nice to Itachi, going so far as to hug him and tell him that he smells good, something that he will vehemently deny the next day. He’ll go to Sasori and cling to him and gush about how he appreciates his friendship and his guidance, until Sasori gets tired of him and tells him to go to sleep. Deidara can get to his room on his own, but once the door closes, he’s more likely to pass out on the floor than in his own bed. Also, if he didn’t think to tie up his long hair beforehand, he’ll be in for a nasty, messy surprise when he inevitably wakes up to vomit at some point.

Itachi

Itachi isn’t one to ever let himself lose control of his senses, no matter the situation. Therefore, if he’s drinking with the others, he’ll stick to one or two beers or a single shot before cutting himself off for the evening. He plays much of a “mom” role in the group, making sure the others are okay, lending a shoulder to cry on for the emotional drunks, and, if they’re out somewhere, making sure everyone gets home safe and sound. On the rare, RARE occasions he drinks by himself, and lets go of his hesitation, he’s just as emotional a drinker as Tobi (which is quite possibly an Uchiha trait). He’ll cry into his pillow, he’ll sit and lament over the choices he’s made in life. Sometimes he’ll find and put on the saddest song or movie he can think of, just so he has something to get emotional over. Although this sounds bad, this is actually a helpful bit of therapy for him, as it allows him to release emotions that he normally keeps bottled up. He’ll end a night of solo drinking with a cup of tea, then go quietly to bed, sleeping like a rock until the sun comes up and things go back to normal.

Kisame

Right up there with Kakuzu as being a guy that can hold his liquor like a champ. In fact his ability to do so has won him many drinking challenges at bars, as well as a formidable reputation as “one bad ass son of a bitch”. It also helps him confidence-wise; normally the half-shark is very reserved and keeps to himself, as he feels that his appearance is off-putting and scary to “normal” people. But alcohol loosens him up and gets him talking, and being bold, and many people find this switch in personality to be highly attractive. Ladies especially take notice of his smile, his eyes … and his muscles. He even scores several phone numbers from interested parties … but by the time he’s sober again, he never follows through with calling anyone. Also helps Itachi in that he keeps an eye on the others when they drink, to make sure that they’re safe.

[aquafaith]

My lengthy, angry ACOSF rant review.

Spoilers, TW for mental, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.

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I loved ACOTAR. I still love ACOTAR. I always will love ACOTAR. But every book afterwards made me give up more and more. ACOMAF romanticized an abusive relationship and assassinated characters for the author's convenience. ACOWAR was a bunch of boring and inconsequential death scares. ACOFAS was all-round dreadful. And each book kept shitting on and pushing away Lucien for no reason.

I'd like to preface this by saying I hated Nesta too. I hated the way she treated Feyre in ACOTAR especially, and I wasn't even too excited for this book because I wasn't that keen on Nesta as a character.

Nesta's POV and her backstory changed my perspective. It does not excuse her actions. All Nesta stans can hold these characters accountable for what they do - trauma is a reason, not an excuse. I, and many others, sided with Nesta because of the way she's treated by everyone else in this book. Also, if you're going to hate Nesta for not teaching Feyre how to read and letting her hunt at fourteen, (which I did, and are very valid things to hate), AT LEAST hold Elain accountable too.

This book. This fucking book.

Shall we start with the intervention? Feyre on her little power trip thinks that her boyfriend that hates Nesta and Nesta hates back, Nesta's ex-best friend, and her possible mate who she never talks to should be at this stupid fucking intervention??? Excuse me???

Remember in ACOMAF when Feyre wouldn't shut up about how rich Rhysand is? Feyre literally has four or five houses and is always talking about how much jewelry and lingerie she can afford because Rhysand is so rich??? Well, Nesta has a few shots. So you know what Feyre does? Humiliates Nesta at this "intervention", TEARS DOWN HER HOME, and forces her to go to the Illyrian training camp.

That was the god awful premise for this book.

Did you think Elain wasn't there because she was against the "intervention"? Nope! She was packing Nesta's belongings without permission.

Remember in ACOMAF when it's made a big fucking deal that locking up a traumatised woman is extremely damaging? Well, when Nesta decides she doesn't want to be in Illyria, Feyre locks her in the House of Wind. Nesta can't fly, so her only way of leaving is down the TEN THOUSAND STEPS, that Feyre KNOWS Nesta isn't capable of climbing.

Feyre's pregnant. In ACOFAS she randomly decided that she wanted a baby to remember Rhysand by if he dies. Which doesn't make any sense because they made that stupid fucking death pact in ACOWAR. It's just SJM superimposing her pregnancy onto her early 20's protagonist. Ignoring the fact that Feyre isn't ready for a baby and Rhysand CERTAINLY isn't, and with a war just ended and another looming and so much trauma and a DEATH PACT are all such horrible circumstances to bring a child into, Feyre is already pregnant. Remember when SJM made a big deal about Fae babies being so hard to conceive, and Feyre said in ACOFAS they wouldn't have to worry for a long time because it can take years to conceive your first Fae child? Well it's been no more than 3 or 4 months and Feyre's already pregnant. Yep.

Also the birth will kill her. Because of course it will. Rhysand KNEW this, and still agreed to try for a baby.

There's no solution. Abortions don't exist for some stupid reason, and a C section would apparently kill Feyre?

(Wasn't this book supposed to be about Nessian?)

In ACOWAR, Cassian was on the battlefield with his entrails around his knees. Someone had to literally hold his guts in for him, and he's fine, but you're telling me a C section would kill Feyre?

Don't worry, this is just setting up the AWFUL ending to this book.

ACOSF amounts to Nesta being gaslit into believing her abusers are right. Her friends and family slut shame her and shame her for her lifestyle constantly. Cassian says it took him decades to work through some of his trauma, and he tried to drink and fuck it away too, but suddenly when Nesta does so it's heinous? Nesta's barely twenty five and she's expected to cope better than these ancient immortals.

Hell, didn't SJM write ACOMAF? Nobody expected Feyre to pick herself up so quickly. The IC (excluding Rhysand) respected her boundaries for the most part and understood when it was grief, trauma, and turmoil that made her angry, sad, want to be left alone, etc. But that's all forgotten here.

Amren also compares Nesta to the people in, and says she belongs in, The Court of Nightmares. You know, the murderers, abusers and rapists? This innocent woman who had a few shots and a bit of sex is on par with them, apparently!

The sex scenes.

SJM is scared to say vagina so she says sex.

She says seed to mean semen.

Apparently the word cunt turns SJM on. I just found Cassian saying that kinda cringe because I'm Bri'ish so the word cunt really isn't a big deal.

Back to the baby killing Feyre, because this is definitely what we all wanted from this book as indicated by the change in covers and format and title... Rhysand decides not to tell Feyre. He tells her friends and family, and tells them not to tell her.

SJM loves sweeping Rhysand's abuse from the first book under the rug and claiming it's always about Feyre's choice... where is that here, MAAS? WHERE IS IT?

Anyway, when Nesta rightfully decides to tell Feyre (although it is kind of out of spite), Rhysand threatens to kill Nesta.

And I believed him. With the way he treats his """mAtE tHaT hE lOvEs sO mUcH""" and all the people he's mindlessly killed before, do you really think he wouldn't kill the person who gave Feyre an inch of autonomy?

So what does Cassian do? His lover who he cares deeply about and suspects is his mate has received a death threat from tHe mOsT pOwErFuL hIgH lORd iN hIsToRy.

Cassian simply gets Nesta out of the court.

EXCUSE ME?

He doesn't breathe ONE word to Rhysand about this. This Illyrian WARRIOR who fought with his GUTS HANGING OUT didn't dare step up to the hIGh lOrD who he considers his brother and sparrs and fights with all the time?

Cassian literally does nothing.

Was it not Rhysand himself who said Mated males are dangerous? Can kill anyone who looks at their mate? Can be dangerous simply leaving the house? Rhys and Feyre both pull the Mate card to justify their bad actions on the other's behalf... and Cassian just tried to get Nesta out of the court?

Also, this High King bullshit.

I swear to fucking god, if SJM DARES to make this abusive, power-tripping, mOsT pOwErFuL hIgH lOrD eVEr, husband-insert of hers hIgH kInG, I will fight her in the street.

My beloved Lucien is in this book. Only for him to be used and shat on.

I really liked it when he calmed Cassian down with just a look though. Yes please fox man.

Helion is also in this book. Nothing to do with Lucien.

Eris is also in this book. ERIS. Lucien's eldest brother. The same one who abused him for years, but according to SJM he's slightly better, because at least he didn't agree to kill Lucien's lover. He betrayed his daddy that one time, therefore Eris is good. Y'know, the same Eris who abused Mor? Left her laying on the Autumn Court border with a nail in her womb? Well SJM is going back on her own canon to redeem yet ANOTHER abusive male, while continuing to demonize Tamlin for things he only happened to do when SJM decided the villain from the first book was sexy.

Nesta and Cassian are Mates.

Remember when Mates were supposed to be a rare and sacred thing? Now SJM dishes them out like Oprah.

I don't want these characters to be mates. I want to see them slowly fall in love. But SJM is incapable of writing that so she forces them together with the mAtInG bOnD. That's literally the only basis for most of these relationships, Feysand especially.

The only relationship where the bond would make sense is between Helion and The Lady of Autumn. Who still isn't named. But I will die on the hill that they're mates, I can feel it between them.

I wanted someone to die in this book. I predicted that it would either be Helion or Tarquin, but Tarquin isn't even in this one.

And the ending.

SJM can't write a decent climax, so she kills both Feyre and Rhysand for the second time. Yep.

The baby is being born which stupidly kills Feyre, and thankfully takes Rhysand with them.

Nesta decides to save them. Bad choice. But she decides to save them! Because she's so powerful and she ATE THE CONTENTS OF THE CAULDRON and she's CONNECTED TO THE MOTHER.

Do you know what happens.

Nesta loses her powers.

NESTA.

LOSES.

HER.

POWERS.

The powers we've hardly seen, the powers that were briefly mentioned and used ONCE in ACOWAR, then we saw like two flashes of in this book? They're GONE now. GONE SO NESTA CAN SAVE HER ABUSIVE SISTER AND ABUSIVE HUSBAND WHO ABUSES THEM BOTH.

Nesta is just an Amren now. They both fought for their powers, and had to give them up to save people who didn't deserve it. Now they're anticlimactically trapped in powerless bodies.

Also, and I can't BELIEVE I didn't originally include this - do you know what else Nesta TRADED HER POWERS FOR?

Illyrian anatomy so she can carry Cassian's baby one day.

EXCUSE ME?

I am so fucking SICK TO DEATH of the narrative that every woman needs a man and children to be happy. SJM clearly loves this because she's literally only keeping Amren and Nesta alive now to be sex objects to their partners and nothing else seeing as their POWERS WERE RIPPED AWAY FROM THEM, and now NESTA TRADED THOSE POWERS TO HAVE A BABY SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WANTS? Nesta does NOT strike me as a motherly type. She's the wine aunt, she and Cassian are the couple that go on holiday a lot and and babysit their nieces and nephews, but nope. Nesta HAS to have children.

The Feysand baby is called Nyx. That's just so underwhelming, you go from these huge, multiple syllable names like Amarantha and Morrigan and Lucien to Nyx? I get it's supposed to be unique but it's not even meaningful. It's just more shit-flavoured icing on the hAHa nIgHt uWu cake. I prefer Renesmée.

Nesta is wrong somehow. She says she's sorry as she's saving them. FOR WHAT? For being a little rude to Feyre as all sisters are? And rightfully hating your sister's abuser?

Oh yeah, remember in ACOWAR when Nesta took care of a comatose, starving Elain for months? Elain is randomly okay now because she takes care of her mental health the stereotypical way of baking cakes, and not drinking and fucking, which she shames Netsa for.

Remember the slut shaming, demeaning comments that the whole iNnEr cIrClE made about Nesta? They all expect apologies from her. For some reason.

Nesta has done nothing wrong. She coped with her trauma and minded her business in her own ways, and she's expected to apologise to the people who control and emotionally abuse her.

Nothing that any of these characters did to Nesta is right. Nesta wasn't okay at the end, this wasn't Nesta's healing story. This is Nesta being shamed and degraded until she submits.

Oh I can't believe I forgot to write this in my first draft of this review, do you know how Nesta "overcomes" her grief about her Father's death and her conflicting feelings about him and his life and her guilt? When she visits his grave for the first time, she takes Nyx.

NYX.

She holds NYX up to the grave and talks about how it's his grandson.

GO AWAY YOU STUPID DEMON BABY THIS IS NOT YOUR BOOK.

Speaking of, it's revealed that Nesta was abused by her mother and grandmother in this book? Something we were all looking forward to is seeing more of the Archeron's mother seeing as Feyre was so young when she died, but... nope. She gets a few vague mentions, and this newly revealed abuse is entirely glossed over. Nesta was also actively groomed by an older man at 14. But SJM glosses over this because of course she does.

Finally, the bonus chapters.

My edition came with a bonus chapter from Feyre's POV. It was pointless and I hated it.

There's another bonus chapter from Azriel's POV. Once I'd finished this book, he was one of the few characters I still harboured a shred of respect for.

Then I read his bonus chapter.

This exists to purely objectify Elain.

Whether you ship Elain with Azriel, or Lucien, or neither, this chapter is disgusting. He thinks about her coming on his tounge, and other things simply just to please him.

He then dares to suggest that "the Cauldron picked wrong" in choosing Lucien as Elain's mate?

No Azriel, SJM picked RIGHT in not giving each Archeron sister a bAt bOy.

Rhysand does the only right thing he's ever done by telling Azriel to stay away from Elain, but then he has to ruin it by clarifying that it's only so they can manipulate and use Lucien more.

Oh, and Azriel wants to kill Lucien.

Need I remind you that Lucien respects Azriel? Lucien is another victim of the Night Court's needless, baseless torment, and Azriel is no exception.

Lucien stays well out of Elain's way because she makes it clear that she's not interested in a mate, but Azriel wants to kill him simply for being her mate.

Lucien has done nothing. And I mean literally NOTHING to warrant any of this treatment. From the bAt bOyS, from Feyre, from his family, from SJM, from the deluded part of this fandom that think he's done wrong. NOTHING.

All I liked about this book was the Lucien scenes (which is a given), ((although I hated the way everyone talks about him behind his back)), Nesta's relationship with the house, Emerie and Gwyn, the evidence that Gwynriel is endgame and subsequently Elucien, and the book love. Everything else was horrible. Oh, and Nesta hates Rhysand. I love that for her, because everyone else bows at his feet.

Oh yeah, when Nesta DARES suggest that Rhysand is an "arrogant, preening asshole" which I think is a compliment, Cassian can't take Rhys' cock out of his mouth for one second, and has to get mad at her for having an opinion. Don't even get me started on Azriel in that scene.

If each book after ACOTAR made me slowly give up, this book made me give up altogether. I cannot go on to support this victim-blaming, abuse-forgiving, misogynistic series. I've given up on SJM, and the only characters I care about anyone are Lucien, Nesta, Helion, and Tarquin. I'll continue to read this series to see if SJM redeems herself, but I'll be downloading them for free. I'm not giving this piece of shit any more of my money.

I hope we don't get the Lucien book. I don't want her to slaughter my fox in the way she slaughtered LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE.

Thanks for listening.

Edit: I put the review on Goodreads!

[chaozsilhouette]

Moonlit Musings

The night is such a perfect time to face one’s darkest truths. Shrouded in the moon’s light what can one do but admit to their flaws. It can be a time of rejuvenation and rebirth, only if you let it.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

It was a quiet night.

The full moon hung high in the heavens accompanied by millions of stars. Not a cloud to be seen, an ideal night for passions to run wild. Normally people would be taking out their telescopes or arranging romantic picnics.

Sadly, nights like these only filled Sun Wukong with dread. It was a night like this when he was finally able to return after the Journey. That was the night he learned he had lost a precious treasure.

When he returned, he expected to be greeted by his subjects until Macaque showed himself. He expected to be strangled as the pale furred monkie admonished him for his recklessness. He expected to watch as fury transformed into tearful joy as they embraced one another for the first time in over five hundred years.

But that wasn’t what happened.

The moment he set foot back onto Flower Fruit Mountain, he sensed something was very wrong. Like his previous return trips, his subjects greeted him with loud celebrations. The new mothers showed off their infants. The young ones wasted no time climbing all over him, taking in the scent of their king.

The immortal elders, however, looked concerned.

That was when he realized Macaque’s scent on the mountain was far too faint. Even the magical signature of his clones no longer felt fresh.

Macaque was nowhere to be found. The monkeys reported Macaque had returned a few years after he stopped by the mountain earlier in the Journey but not as his usual self. He didn’t respond to any of their questions. He didn’t even take time to check in on the infants. He didn’t say a word.

He just entered the mansion, but no one saw him leave.

Entering the mansion, Wukong dashed to their room desperate for answers. Opening the doors, he saw the room was horribly empty, sure all of his belonging were exactly as he remembered them, but all of Macaque’s stuff was gone. Macaque’s closet was empty and all his books had vanished. Despite his desperate hopes, there wasn’t any signs of a struggle or hidden messages to be found.

Macaque left of his own free will, but why?

He couldn’t bring himself to sleep in the bed they shared so many nights together. Every time he dared, he awoke expect to be greeted with the comforting warmth of familiar presence, instead he opened his eyes to a cold emptiness.

The lack of answers broke his heart, but he didn’t have time to start tearing the landscape apart trying to find him. Now that he was back for good, he had so many responsibilities to catch up on. He was determined to be a good king for his subjects and that meant ughthinking things through. Plus, he wanted to spend as much time with his master and brothers as possible.

Then there was the concerning fact all his previous allies had severed their alliance with him.

Apparently after all the fuss with the Demon Bull King, word had spread that Wukong broke their alliance by disrespecting protocol and attacking the royal family. Plus, his new position as a defender of humanity annoyed more than a few respectable demons. Combined with the sheer number of powerful demons he killed on the Journey cemented the idea that having an alliance with him would only end poorly.

He was banned from court meetings and the other kings in the surrounding areas wanted nothing to do with him. The chaotic nature of his past had finally caught up to him and in the worst possible way.

He was still recognized as the Monkey King of the Sun Court but was effectively blacklisted. No one wanted to mess with him, but they also didn’t want to interact with him. Not good for his mental health to say the least.

Simians are naturally social creatures. Wukong was used to constantly being around other people and learning new things. His time imprisoned was not kind. His first year of freedom had him constantly climbing over his brothers and master just to reassure himself that this was real.

And now that he couldn’t reconnect with old faces unless it was through a battle to the death…It forced him to delve into old memories. Memories that while sweet only made the emptiness more pronounced.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

Sun Wukong smiled as he watched Macaque’s reaction.

The six-eared monkie was furiously pinching the bridge between his eyebrows after he shattered a boulder with a careless headbutt as though it would make his life mercifully easier. “You’ll have to explain it to me again. What did you mean by ‘no longer under Yama’s jurisdiction’?”

“Exactly what I said. I was napping. Having some time to myself, when out of nowhere some idiots tried to take my soul to the afterlife.” Wukong explained as though having entities of death rip out your soul to drag it to the underworld was no big deal.

“Bet you weren’t happy.” Macaque couldn’t help but smirk at the flippant tone. He just made it so difficult to stay mad.

“Not in the slightest. I barged my way to the top brass, bunch of cowards called the Ten Kings (totally undeserved titles by the way) and demanded what the fuck was going on.” He was still ticked off even if the payoff was sweet. Seriously! Did immortality mean nothing to these cowards? They couldn’t even play it off as him dying in battle. He was in the peak of his youth! “Can you believe they tried to play it off as a misunderstanding? Should have smacked the loudmouth when I was there.”

“So, through a series of ridiculous events, you erased your name from the records of the dead.” Macaque could easily piece together the rest from there. No matter how ridiculous the odds. He learned never to bet against his friend when a problem could be handled with brute strength or intimidation. If it didn’t look like such an answer was possible, clearly, they hadn’t experienced the force of a determined Wukong. Something about facing a ticked off monkie of practically infinite strength and invulnerability left harden conquerors pissing themselves.

It was hilarious.

“Not just mine. In my infinite wisdom, I erased the names of several of the monkey inhabitants of esteemed Flower Fruit Mountain, including yours.” Wukong playfully booped Macaque’s nose.

Turning away to hide a light blush, Macaque scoffed to cover his embarrassing response. “Typical. I can’t leave you alone for five minutes without you doing something insane.”

“I know. I’m just that awesome.”

“So what? Are we now double immortal?” That was the question wasn’t it. Due to their master’s instructions, they were immortal and ageless, so what exactly would this give them? He didn’t feel any different. He couldn’t sense any new powers or changes in his instincts.

His counterpart, however, had other things on his mind. “Who cares. All I know is that those idiots have no control over our souls anymore.” And with that the King took his rightful place across Macaque’s lap as the other returned to his scrolls.

Wukong instead took the time to examine his friend, who finally gained enough confidence to fully drop his glamour and embrace his true appearance.

He still couldn’t believe Macaque actually had six ears. The weird part was how natural they looked, almost as if seeing him with only two was bizarre. The coolest part was how each pair softly glowed a different color. Blue. Purple. Red. Sometimes Wukong would just stare at them, imagining that he could see glittering stars emanating from that glow.

Suddenly those magnificent ears twitched. Macaque didn’t bother looking up from the bamboo scroll. “A trespasser...multiple, boar and vulture demon. Another hunting party”.

“Again. Ugh. Don’t these idiots ever give up!” Don’t get him wrong, Wukong loved a good fight. What better way to prove how superior you are to others than to steal what’s most precious to them? But even he was starting to grow bored with the sheer number of hunters that thought kidnapping his subjects was a quick cash grab.

After the fifth army he returned in pieces to the surrounding upstart lords, you’d think they’d take a hint.

Thankfully he wasn’t the only powerhouse on the mountain. “I haven’t tasted blood in a while. Why don’t I defend the kingdom while your highness enjoys a show?” Macaque set aside his reading material, eyes glittering with bloodlust.

Wukong returned the smirk with one of his own. “I’m always up for a good thrashing. One request: make it glorious.”

“Don’t I always.” Macaque joked as he retrieved his spear from his own shadow.

Wukong summoned his cloud and claimed a good vantage point. Once again, he marveled at his friend’s hearing. Judging by the distance it would have been at least three hours before he would have detected their presence.

Kicking back, he transformed some hair into a fruit platter and waited for the screams.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

To this day, Wukong knew Macaque was alive. Thanks to his efforts combined with the intense training, the monkie was double immortal. Besides, that monkkie was way too stubborn to die. He would survive purely on spite if he had to.

Macaque left, but why?

While he may have effectively isolated himself, that didn’t mean he didn’t hear about the other courts. A few centuries ago, he heard rumors about the formation of a new court by someone under the title of the Macaque King. Supposedly they were a powerful monkie who knew way more than he had the right to. For a brief moment, Wukong dared to hope it was his old friend, but it didn’t last. The few recounts he caught described him with black fur. Besides, he knew how much Macaque hated the title of King. Even when Wukong offered him the position as co-ruler of his kingdom, the pale monkie adamantly refused.

Still, he was curious.

For a few weeks he could have sworn he detected a familiar scent hiding underneath Mk’s. And he wasn’t the only one who noticed. A few of the immortal monkeys questioned him on the mango infused scent and what his plans were. It was almost too much to take in.

To think he returned to teach his student instead of showing his face. It hurt just to think about it. He chose to ignore the beckoning scent until it became impossible to ignore MK’s leap in progress. Then it just vanished like it hadn’t been testing his patience. Like it hadn’t brought him to the brink of shaking the kid upside down until he confessed where his old friend was hiding. The kid probably grew wise, or someone told him to change his bathing habits, and by the next training session it was all but gone.

Dragging his hand down his face, Wukong tried to reevaluate his thoughts.

Getting mad at the kid wasn’t going to solve anything. He knew he hadn’t been the most attentive master. Hell, the whole hammer exercise at its core was a desperate attempt to remove a painful reminder of better times. His master would be disappointed in how he was running away from his problems, but would encourage him to take the steps to be better. Zhu Bajie would be a sarcastic little shit, trying to get him riled up so the monkie would prove him wrong. Sha Wujing would sit him down and wouldn’t let him leave until they talked everything through.

He had to make things right with the kid. He deserved a better master. And this New Years he was gonna get one.

He spoke, praying the winds would carry his voice to his Warrior.

“Macaque. I know it’s been a while, but…I-I want to talk. I know you’re out there, somewhere I can’t reach. I miss sparring with you. I miss lazy days napping in the shade by your side. I miss defending the mountain as we held contests to see who could take out the most trespassers before their common sense kicked in. I miss you. Please come home.”

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

The moon was high in the sky. Stars danced in the heavens as the faintest hints of vibrations pulsed through the concrete from the late-night dance clubs. MK lay awake, his mind struggling to make sense of it all.

Ever since Macaque disappeared in order to remain undetected, he kept thinking about his relationship with the Monkey King. Sure, he was being trained and he was definitely making progress. The monkie was still on his case for supposedly cheating on him with another mentor. Nothing MK said or did could make the monkie think otherwise. Thankfully, he was no longer shooting him suspicious glares, but the underlying tension remained.

The sad truth is they just weren’t that close.

He would have expected to learn more about the Monkey King on a personal and emotional level, but he just couldn’t get past that wall. Their training sessions felt more like just the Monkey King arranged just to get it over with. There was no passion at all.

Okay, perhaps that last bit was an exaggeration.

When you peered past the arrogance and pride, you found one socially awkward monkie. It was similar to Red Son the more he thought about it, both seemed to find it difficult to talk to or relate to others in a friendly setting. Sure, Monkey King projected a friendly demeanor and called him “bud”, but if he didn’t know any better he could have sworn the monkie was afraid to take that final step.

The last few sessions had taken a bit of a turn in a positive direction as Sandy would say. Maybe Monkey King decided it was time to make a change? Maybe this was all a trick so MK would lower his guard and reveal Macaque’s identity? Maybe he was just tired and should have conked out an hour ago?

Maybe.

Reality was so different from the legends. When Tang first introduced him to the Monkey stories, he was hooked. He loved listening to the tales of the infamous trickster that flipped off every major religious figure with unbridled confidence. Meeting the Great Sage in the flesh was like a dream come true until he was exposed to the King’s less pleasant tendencies.

Mk couldn’t help but wonder just how much confidence the Monkey King had in his training skills. Did he ever train someone before? Could MK talk to someone about this without appearing even more ungrateful than he already looked? Why didn’t he stop Red Son from unsealing his father when he was there? Why didn’t he simply seal the entire family when they were reunited? Why did the five times immortal sage decide that now he needed to train a disciple? Was Monkey King not telling him something important?

He had so many questions and not even the foggiest idea of where to start looking. Or perhaps he did?

The truth was he missed Macaque. The dark-furred monkie may have only taught him for a month, but the progress he made and the level of care he was exposed to made him feel as though he had finally unlocked the ability to fly.

He missed the regular grooming. He missed learning about the demon community. He missed learning new ways to mess with Red Son through appropriate court manners.

Watching the fire user freeze up at the term “honorable prince of the Iron Bull Court” just made him laugh, when his hair combusted it really matched his face. Now that he thought about it, were those horns starting to peek out of his forehead? And maybe the slightest hint of a tufted tail swiping the bottom of his coat? Seeing the demon frantically compose himself was a treat he didn’t know he needed. He still had the video saved as one of his favorites, didn’t hurt that Mei caught it at the perfect angle.

Oh yeah, he missed that.

With any luck, New Years would be the start of something better.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

On an island that remained surrounded by unquenchable storms, a single black-furred monkie sat cross-legged in a secluded part attached to the palace. All around him fruit trees and bushes bore a hefty bounty releasing an intoxicating scent of life.

Ears twitched.

Macaque opened his eyes, aroused from his meditation. It was odd. He had the faintest sensation that someone had been talking about him. Now that wasn’t exactly unusual, he made plenty of allies and enemies across the centuries. What was odd was that the voice sounded like someone he once cherished.

But that couldn’t be right.

The deceptive silence of his personal orchard gave him no answers. Not that he really expected it to.

For some reason he refused to identify, Macaque turned to the single peach tree in the grove. A tribute from his past and a reminder of his mistakes. But it was also a valuable resource once he learned the truth about the peach’s properties. He used its powers to protect many happy relationships, if only it could have helped him so long ago.

No matter.

He still had many projects to work on, including one successor just rife with insecurities. He honestly felt bad ducking out as he did. If things were different, he would have offered him a new life. His Stars were always happy to welcome a new member into their budding community.

As a bonus, his presence would have interrupted their constant attempts to set him up with new dates. He adored their efforts but being paired with partners who only wanted power or he would view only as friends was not something he enjoyed. Although watching them mentally destroy those they didn’t find suitable for him was quite entertaining.

Either way, New Years was coming up fast and he still needed to approve a few changes. His Stars were determined to make sure this event topped last years in every way possible, but they had to make sure they didn’t set the orchard on fire again. Or worse, they could launch the fireworks into the storm barrier. He wasn’t sure why or how, but the tornadoes and clouds turned different colors as explosions rang throughout the night.

It was beautiful but lost its charm after the third day.

[hermannsthumb]

you should totally do something with ksci janitor’s vamp newt it’s so just so good

i sure will! in a vampire mood this weekend. @k-sci-janitor's vampire newt found here. warnings for quick mention of drinking, allusions to sexy stuff, and also the different kind of drinking you'd expect from a vampire fic (tho on the vague side)

-------------------

The circumstances that led Newt down the unwitting path of immortality and general un-dead-ness are, in hindsight, honestly kind of embarrassing. It'd be one thing if he could say it happened in the pursuit of, like, knowledge, like the fierce jellyfish sting scar on his wrist leftover from a research expedition when he was twenty-two or the equally fierce one on his knee received in response to his question (at the age of five) of what would happen if I jumped out of this very tall tree?, or even something unrelated to his extensive biology career, something impressive, y'know, Van Helsing style, something like tracking down some vampire king and barely escaping with his life (un-life?)—not what really happened, which was little more than a bad date. And not even the worst date that Newt's been on, if you can believe it.

Newt was young and stupid then. He still is young and stupid, technically, though the former by appearance only. (Eternally pushing thirty. If he could've picked, he would've done twenty-eight, just before his handful of grey hairs started cropping up. Newt's had almost forty-five years of staring in the mirror at those four fucking grey hairs. He gave up dyeing them around the nineties. Not worth it. Still annoying.) He liked to do what young and stupid people did, like get stupid tattoos, and have a stupid haircut, and get drunk at stupid punk shows and not stumble home until he'd had at least one regrettable hook-up with a stranger and maybe lost his wallet. (The two were often related.) That particular thing was what did him in that night. It was a different time back then, man—if a dude showed even the slightest inkling that he ran in Newt's sort of circle, if you caught his drift, Newt fucking jumped at the chance.

(The band was on their second set of the evening and Newt had already screamed himself hoarse with singing along. He'd ducked outside in a back alleyway for only a second to get some fresh air, the club suddenly too hot and smokey for him to handle, and was just about to go back inside and close out his tab for the night when he realized he wasn't alone. There was someone—he was sure—lurking in the shadows a few feet away. He could hear breathing. He could see—eyes, maybe, in the dim neon light of the bar sign overhead. "Hello?" he'd called.

"Have a light?" the person called back.

They emerged from the shadows, and Newt felt himself relax at once. It was some spooky-looking guy he remembered seeing in the club, leather jacket, boots heavier than Newt's, dark hair and eyeliner. Tall. Newt remembered him, firstly, because he thought he was hot, and secondly, because he swore he caught the guy staring at him at least three times, and to Newt, that was as good as any pick-up line. He was wagging an unlit cigarette at Newt now. He was taller than Newt thought he was back in the bar—much taller, at least a full head on Newt. His eyes were a golden-brown, almost yellow, like a cat's, and Newt found himself unable to tear his own away from them. "L—light?" Newt echoed.

The guy stuck the cigarette in his mouth and arched a perfect eyebrow. Newt didn't smoke, but he did keep a lighter on him for occasions like this. He fumbled through his pockets for it while the guy stepped closer. "I was watching you," he told Newt, while Newt raised the lighter to the cigarette, "in there."

The flame danced and glinted against his eyes. Newt swallowed. "Uh-huh?" he said.

He flicked the lighter shut, leaving them both bathed in nothing but pink neon. A hand slid up against the wall next to Newt's right shoulder. Another plucked at the left lapel of his jacket. Newt was still staring at those eyes. "What's your name?" the guy said, in a puff of cigarette smoke.

"Um." Newt's leather jacket was being pushed off his shoulders. He felt his long hair being tucked to the side of his neck. All at once something seemed in snap in Newt—some reminder of where he was, and what he came here hoping for in the first place. Some hot dude was eyeing Newt up all night long, and now he was actually coming onto Newt, and Newt was about to get laid. He grinned. "Newt," he said. "Just call me that. You were watching me, huh?"

"All night," the guy said.

Newt's jacket hit the ground with a soft thump. A knee was being pushed between his. Newt felt his cheeks heat up a little—he wasn't used to people being this forward with him, and especially not in a semi-public place like this. Usually they at least made a show of offering up their apartment first. "What, um, what for?" he said.

They were kissing. Newt was clinging to the back of his jacket. And then he was kissing Newt's neck, and then he was—

"That kinda hurts," Newt mumbled. "Um, dude, I think your—your fuckin', tongue piercing cut me, or something. It's—"

It was hard to keep his eyes open. His neck felt weird. The guy was into biting, apparently, biting really hard, and yikes, that was going to leave a super embarrassing hickey that Newt would have to explain to his students somehow on Monday, but it also felt really good, like, Newt was maybe getting off kinda good, and Newt thought, dizzily, that he should at least return the favor before he finished up and collapsed in a happy heap on the ground. So he did.

The guy pulled back with a hiss. "Ow. What—?"

Newt tasted something coppery in his mouth, and he panicked and swallowed on instinct. "Oh, shit, dude, I'm sorry," he slurred. His voice sounded like it was a million miles away. "I was trying to be—sexy. Um." There was blood on the guy's chin. He was staring at Newt in something akin to horror. Dark circles were spotting Newt's vision. "I think you cut your lip," he said, and then he passed out.

Newt was alone when he woke up. It was still dark, too. He walked the two miles home, collapsing in bed, fully-clothed, just before dawn, and he didn't wake up again until sunset. He forgot his jacket, but at least he remembered his wallet this time.)

So, anyway, Newt thinks he can be forgiven if he...embellishes stuff a little when, for the first time in his whole long life, he finally spills the details to someone. Also, no way is he admitting the truth to Hermann of all people.

"There were a bunch of murders in the area at the time," he says, while Hermann, angled on his side next to him in bed, watches him raptly. It's kind of weird pillow talk, but their pillow talk rarely isn't weird. Usually Hermann will launch into a critique of Newt's latest pet theory before Newt's even caught his breath. At least he very courteously waited for Newt get a glass of water from the bathroom first this time. "Really brutal ones. Like, throats torn out, blood drained. Really nasty shit. Everyone was saying they were some kinda bizarre wolf pack attacks, but I knew better."

"Of course you did," Hermann says, running his hand down Newt's chest, and Newt can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not. (He has a feeling he is.)

"You bet," Newt says. "It took me months of, um, super hard research. Finally I hunted him down to this—" Newt debates the coolest lair possible of a vampire, and then remembers Lost Boys, which, even though he resents it slightly for totally stealing the vampire vibes he was going for, is still a kick-ass movie. "—this weird cave, where he lived. The king of the vampires. I won, obviously, but he fought back, and he managed to infect me just before I hammered the, um, the wooden stake into his heart."

"So courageous," Hermann says. He reaches up and tucks a piece of Newt's long hair back. Hermann being totally cool with the whole vampire thing, and maybe even possibly into the whole vampire thing, is probably the last thing in the world Newt expected from him. They're no strangers to hooking up during long late nights of science, but Newt swears it's gotten more frequent. "You must've been terrified."

"Nah," Newt says, though he remembers the glint of the flame off those yellow eyes, and he shivers. Hermann notices; his eyes, not yellow, but a warm shade of brown that makes Newt feel like he's being wrapped in a blanket, soften. If Newt could still blush, he would. "I'm—um—I'm pretty brave."

Newt hadn't exactly been planning on telling Hermann about the whole thing, but (last week) he had the very unfortunate timing of beginning a late-night dinner just as an oblivious Hermann strolled back into the lab to pick up his forgotten pair of glasses. To his credit, he only freaked out a little when he saw Newt draining a blood bag like a fucking Capri-Sun, and even then (after what felt like ten years of horrible, horrible silence) all he said was "You're the one who's been stealing those from medical?"

Look. Newt hasn't drank from a human being the entirety of his un-life, and he doesn't plan on it any time soon. He's...a vegetarian. Effectively. It's sort of the reason he picked up a medical degree along the way once he got tired of breaking into blood banks. Even if it's still a little ethically dubious to steal blood like that, at least he's not swooping around on unsuspecting people like that—goth asshole who swooped in on him did. (Newt's never managed to find out who he was—he suspects he was some sort of vampire drifter in town that night just to find a victim. And Newt just had to think with his dick at the worst possible time.)

Hermann tucks another strand of Newt's hair back. Newt also did not expect how fast Hermann became cool with the whole thing, but on the other hand, giant aliens are clawing their way out of the ocean on a bi-monthly basis these days. It's hard to be skeptical about most things. ("Well, it does make logical sense," Hermann had said with an eyeroll. "When you consider some of your rather more bizarre quirks, I mean. I ought to have guessed it ages ago. I suppose that's why you have that awful haircut," and that stung, because yeah, Newt hasn't felt like changing it up since the seventies, and why should he, it kinda rules? but he just laughed it off and said, "You're one to fucking talk, dude!") "Newton," Hermann says now, gently, "what actually happened?"

Newt sighs. Hermann always knows when he's lying about shit. "I was making out with a vampire in an alleyway and then he bit me. And—um—I kinda didn't notice at first, 'cause it felt... good."

"Mm," Hermann says. The corner of his mouth twitches up. "That's more along the lines of what I expected. That, or you were hounding him for details like a proper biologist and he got tired of answering your inane questions."

"Very funny," Newt says. "Ha."

Hermann rolls away from him and stretches his arms above his head. Newt watches his throat work as he yawns, swallowing down a sudden lump in his own, and he feels a surge of something hot and—alien—in the pit of his stomach. "Over forty years," Hermann says. He picks up Newt's discarded sweatshirt from the floor and tugs it down over his head. "You must get terrifically lonely."

Newt half-shrugs. "I guess. I'm kinda used to it by now." His dad (who never brought up how Newt's aging seemed to be at a standstill when they saw each other, not once) is long-gone. Newt's tried dating, but no one's ever seemed to be into it as much as he is—and besides, it's not like he could ever do the actual til death do us part thing unless he went against every ethical bone in his body and made someone like him. When the internet became a thing, he considered making a forum or something to find more of his kind, but the thought everyone just being like the guy who accidentally turned him in the first place terrified him and he killed the page before it even left infancy. So, without any better ideas, Newt forged some paperwork and leaned pretty hard into the world of academia to fill up his sad little hole of a heart, resigned himself to casual flings with anyone who seemed interested, and it mostly worked. Mostly. And then the kaiju came along, and then so did... "You make it a little bit better," he confesses.

Hermann lays back down next to him. "I do?" he says.

Newt thinks he sees something like that hot, hungry feeling he felt in his stomach flash behind Hermann's eyes. He nods.

Hermann suddenly kisses Newt, pulling him down on top of him, and then tugs the collar of Newt's stolen sweatshirt down below his collarbone. He drags Newt's hand up to press against his throat. Newt feels the erratic beat of Hermann's pulse beneath his fingertips, his heart pounding against his ribcage (pressed up against Newt's silent one), and he almost moans. "Have you ever...?" Hermann murmurs, gazing up at Newt through his dark eyelashes.

"N—never," Newt stammers. "I told you."

"Do you want to?" Hermann says. Newt tries not to gape. "Just a bit at a time, whenever you need. You wouldn't have to steal those silly blood bags anymore. And—" He hesitates. "I admit I am curious. About the sensation."

"Um," Newt says. "I—"

He feels something sharp poking his lower lip. Fangs. His fangs. Oh, shit, he's never had that happen before. He forces himself off of Hermann before he does something stupid.

"Maybe, um, maybe later?" he squeaks, while Hermann just smiles at him.