#but honestly truly they did a great fuckin job

[chompe-diem]

just started eldermourne and aaaaaaahh i love it sm honestly i love the vibe it has it mustve been a bit tough for the crew to try and get away from c1 at the time but truly it quickly established itself to have its own energy, which i adore

[sunnywalnut]

Finished watching Dead Boy Detectives. Here are my honest thoughts.

-If you're going into it expecting another Good Omens, stop. Our protagonists are all minors. Teenagers. They cuss, they have total dirty mouths and sexual humor, but they are not eternal beings pretending to be middle aged men. They're ghosts. Dead Boys, if you will. Also this might be a stretch, but I'm assuming from the slightly less good CGI that the budget for this series was a LOT less than what it was for GO

-Edwin is kind of a dick in the first episode. But it's okay. Because character growth is swag.

-REALISTIC CHARACTER GROWTH!!! I liked Edwin a LOT more during the second episode BECAUSE of the character growth. And honestly? It's completely natural that bro is more than a little prickly after only being able to trust one guy for an extremely long time. Fair enough my guy. Carry on.

- this show kinda has Nimona vibes. If that makes sense. Witty humor, somewhat sexual dialogue, funny moments during serious times, though geared towards a younger audience. If you like those kinds of things, you will like this, I'm sure of it.

- In the early episodes, the pacing/character relationships feel a little off??? I'm not sure if that was because I was expecting another Good Omens or what. But after 2-3 episodes, the dust quickly settled and we got into the actual storyline. Which was extremely appreciated✨

-these villains are FUCKED up. I'm telling you. They are HORRIFIC. Had me squirming and cringing through their intense scenes. And gosh. That was a TRIP.

-TY TENANT PLAYS THE MAIN GUY EDWIN!!!! And he plays him WELL. I did not realize this going in to the show and thought his face was VERY familiar. Only after I looked it up did I realize why. He's our sassy son of Job. (EDIT: turns out Ty plays the Doom Patrol version. Not the one on Netflix. My bad! They do look pretty similar though, so ykw. Great casting. Also my point still stands. This guy is a pretty fuckin awesome actor. 10/10)

-Cat King is such a wild card holy SHIT.

-Charles is cute as fuck. His backstory HURTS. But also. I love the way his ears look. Like in the pictures that I saw of him they were of when the Cat King impersonated him so I was like oh chill. So he's got pointed ears bc feline but NOPE. He's just like that!! And honestly? Slay. I fuckin love it.

-oh did I mention tragic backstories???? Yeah we got those :D for everyone :D

-Niko is the best and I love her. Also I love how the letters on her desk are written in Japanese. That is a VERY nice touch of character building.

-hot butcher lady with throat tattoo

All in all. A truly delightful series and I genuinely hope it gets another season because I NEED to know what happens next. My little sister LOVED it and the ending had us all staring open mouthed at the TV screen in shock.

This 15yo girl is literally ranting my ear off, having adventures with the Dead Boys in her dreams and chatting with me about it, searching up fanfics and drawing fanart, the whole shabang. And it is DIFFICULT for this girl to get into shows like this. So honestly? This is perfect. Thank you, Neil. For giving us a whole other banger.

That being said. If anybody else has some younger siblings that are around 15-17 and are looking for shows to binge watch together, this is the perfect one. I'm telling you, you will NOT regret it (except maybe emotionally)

Thoroughly recommend.

[sleeping-archivist]

haven’t done one of these in a while, BUT!!

my live reactions to tmagp ep 30 (w/ spoilers, obviously):

oh i am so deeply afraid for them!!! pick up your phone sam!!!

i’m american but this british transportation nonsense seems like a pain

NO COLIN STAY SAFE PLEASE COLIN

WHAT’S HAPPENING WITH FREDDY OMFG

noooooo colin :(

oh dear lord this is already stressing me out

uh oh gwen…

girl that’s not a threat that’s a fuckin promise

nooooo lena come back i miss u already

oh look who FINALLY checked his phone

celia i don’t like that you know things. when is your “complicated immigration status” getting exposed???

a dentist?? oh i would NOT go to that dentist

y’all went at NIGHT??? respectfully you deserve whatever is abt to happen to you, this is horror movie 101

DO NOT GO INTO THE OLD APPLIANCE STORE

a suspicious door, you say??

CHRIST trevor that scared the shit out of me

oh wait that’s not trevor lmao

does this place have a “store” or a unit or whatever for each of the fears or however they manifest in this universe??

honestly this custodian guy is so real for this

noooo alice are you alone rn?? babygirl 😭

TAPE RECORDER

one normal night, one normal night, one normal night, custodian guy wants…

who the fuck IS this guy tho??

WAIT IS THIS A STATEMENT

omggggg hi archivist 💋

“a wound that never fully heals” well maybe… a wound between worlds????

WHO’S THE OWNER WHO IS IT

dude your job sucks lmao

WINTER OF 97

A LIGHTER I AM SCREAMING

IS IT UNIT 17 THAT’S OPEN????

AN OLD WOMAN??? MARY KEAY????

the way i am going bonkers in the middle of

the whimpering… if this is jon i will lose it

you NEVER go have a look!! you little fool!!

oh that’s not— fix ur mannequins pls and thank u

oh EW put your blood vessels back in!!!!

“it is rough and cold and silent inside” oh i do not like this actually

“cold gray pours down my throat and fills my stomach with stone” like that one statement with the cement???? am i reaching????

WE ARE HILLTOP???? WHAT

oh bye tape recorder 👋 that was truly horrid thanks so much!!

CALL HER BACK DUDE

DO. NOT. GO. TO. THE. HILLTOP. BASEMENT. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

WHAT ARE WE SEEING PLS SHARE W THE CLASS

wdym ALMOST girl???

this is an entirely valid outburst from sam, go off king <3

YES YES YES CELIA LORE

which means you should probably go back celia!!

IF YOU SHOVE SAM INTO THAT WOUND BETWEEN WORLDS—

HI ARCHIVIST!!!!!!

i’m sitting in this hallway like 👁️ 👁️ right now. this is INSANE

no excuse me i wanted the rest of that statement!!!!

oh hello again custodian guy, really fucked up thing for you to say tbh

omg hi again gwen <3 this is so bouchard of you and i love it

hi trevor!!

omg she got her promotion and yet… at what cost

can we get a status update on colin pls????

oh CELIA YOU DID NOT

THAT’S THE END OF IT????

so anyway i’m going insane now 😎 i didn’t have to wait between seasons when i listened to TMA and i don’t know if i’m gonna be able to do it now, omfg. great season finale but i may just lose my marbles until s2 starts releasing

[cottondo]

ROCK ME • ADAM X READER

[ Adam x fem!reader ] • HAZBIN HOTEL

—1. | lowlife

If there was one thing Adam prided himself on, it was making a grand entrance- - aside from just about everything else.

So of course, when it came time to show up and reveal himself to the girl, he made sure his appearance was a fuckin' show.

Materializing himself onto Earth, the exorcist waited until night, when she would be alone in her home.

Being here actually brought back some pretty uncomfortable memories that he'd rather ignore.

The way the grass in the suburban area was disgustingly green; shady trees that looked horrifyingly similar to the ones that started all of his bullshit to begin with.

That stupid smell of flowers and pollen lingering in the night air—

Adam shuddered, a look disgust crossing his masked face with a scowl. Fuck those thoughts- he was here on business. They don't matter.

Then, with a dramatic flutter of wings, he perched himself on her windowsill like some sort of badass.

Peering into the window, mentally he was hoping this was the right house. I mean, it had to be, right? It wasn't like he was familiar with the area or residency. He was just going off of a shitty picture the other angels had given him with some poor directions.

 

Looking inside, he saw a pink hue lingering over the room, LED lights blaring from around the ceiling in an alluring sort of way. String lights hung, and other sorts of decor linger around. It looked cozy, girly and everything he was basically dreading.

He groaned, tilting his head back and dragging a hand over his mask with annoyance. Did he really have to be here? What the hell.

Then, his eyes land on the girl. She sat on her bed, sipping on a can. A light illuminating her features on her bed— she was focused on a laptop screen or some shit.

A smirk crept up his face, mischievous thoughts entering his mind. With a raised hand, Adam knocked on the window, waiting to see how she'd react.

This was gonna be fucking good.

Tap tap tap.

Your fingers click rapidly against the keyboard keys of your laptop. A cold tropical flavored Truly can sits on the bedside table beside you, and you desperately reach over for it, keeping your eyes down on the laptop screen in front of you.

Your sweet boss asked nicely if you wouldn't mind taking another look over the online orders that came through for the boutique. (Yeah, you're a baddie bitch workin' for a hot boutique shop.)

You were basically the editor and.. let's just say, assistant for her. She was great to work for- nothing wrong with the job. Actually, you like of liked it a lot— It was just a ton of work.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could've sworn you saw movement from the window. Must've been a bird or something, prolly. You shrug it off, and shake your head.

Your eyes gaze down to the can in your hand, and narrow them. What's the percentage of alcohol in these things, again? How many in are you— three?

Maybe a little tipsy?

You set it down after another sip, and continue to type away at the laptop. Your legs were crisscrossed on the bed, eyes strained and dry as you desperately tried to finish the work you'd been given. Honestly, you were over this shit.

Tap. Knock. Knock.

What the... hell?

You furrow your brows as the sound of a knock lingered from your window.

You were on the second story. Who the fuck was knocking on your window?

With caution, your figure trails over the edge of the bed, peering outside with a scrunched face.

It wasn't long before you were met with two big golden eyes and a wide smile. The window opens, and in pops a head. "Hey there, babe!"

"Holy shit—!" You scramble backwards, jerking away from the window in a startle.

Nearly knocking over your laptop, and falling off the bed, you blink in a daze up at the face in front of you.

"Woah, no need to get all freaked out. Chill your jets." He says, leaning on the windowsill into his arms, a large smirk plastered thinly on his face.

"Who the hell are you?" You call up to him, furrowing your brows with confusion.

It wasn't too often an Angel popped their way into your home anymore- but this one was different. He didn't look like an Angel at all, actually, minus the wings.

- - And honestly, you were sick and tired of these little shits making their way into your house.

"I'm Adam, The original dick, and I'm here to like, totally guide you to righteousness." He waves a hand off at you. The cocky smile on his face still held its place.

Your eyes narrow, and quickly, you sit up on your bed, recovering yourself from the little jump you had. There's a small bit of embarrassment lingering on your frame but you don't think he cared much to notice.

With a soft groan, you roll your eyes at him. "Another angel? Great."

"Hey!" He snapped his fingers to catch your gaze again, a frown creasing his appearance. "Didn't you hear me? I'm the first man. Like, to ever walk the earth. Show a little fuckin' respect."

Now, that was different. You haven't heard that one before.

"Like, as in, 'Adam and Eve', Adam?" You question, a brow raising.

There's a noticeable grimace of disgust on his face at the name you mention, and you mentally note that.

"Eugh— yeah. But without the Eve part. It's just me, Kay?" He gives you a dull look of the eyes, to which you question visibly. "Anyways— I'm your guardian Angel now!"

"You?" You scoff.

Adam watched as you gained your confidence back, a small smirk now playing on his lips.

He shrugged, the wings on his back moving slightly as he shifted into a more casual position on the windowsill. "I'm here to keep an eye on you, sweetheart," he replied simply, his voice nonchalant.

"An 'eye' on me?" Your voice raised with confusion and defiance as you tilt your head at him.

This has happened to you before, but it was months back, and with a totally different type of Angel. One that was easily frustrated and manipulate.

What did this one want with you?

You sigh out heavily, and turn your attention away from the angel, looking back to the laptop screen. "I told your little friends before that I don't need your help. I'm perfectly capable of being on my own."

That statement sounded true being snapped out, but deep down you knew how much heaviness it held inside your chest.

Adam tilted his head in response, his smirk faltering at your stubborn defiance.

"Yeah, I heard all about that. You like your space, you can handle yourself..." he said in a bit of a mocking tone, catching a sharp look from you in return, "But unfortunately for you, they sent me this time. So deal with it."

"Awesome." You threw your hands up in the air dramatically before letting them fall back down to your sides. Adam still sat in the window, and it was making you uncomfortable.

"Well, 'Adam'," Your voice sneers his name in an equally mocking tone, and this time his attention was caught, "I was in the middle of some work assignments, and I'd really like to get back to doing that." You roll your eyes, sitting back on the cozy bed with a huff. "So if you don't mind getting the hell outta my window, that'd be great."

"Oh." He says, raising a brow casually. Adam lifts his head from his folded arms on the windowsill, and looks you over. "You're expecting me to just fly the fuck away and leave? Mmmmh, no. Sorry sweetie, but that's not gonna happen."

Irritation choked you, and you groan. Pulling the laptop to your lap, you lean your back against the pillows behind you and decide to just ignore him instead.

"Fine. Don't worry, I'll make you wanna leave soon enough." Your tone turns to a mumble as you keep your eyes strained to the screen. "The last guardian couldn't handle me." Your lips curl to a knowingly sassy smirk at your gesture.

"Oh, believe me, I've dealt with plenty of feisty bitches in my time," Adam retorted, his tone still cocky. "You're not gonna scare me off that easily."

He was . . still here, arguing with you.

Maybe he really would be different than the others. Someone that won't just leave after getting sick of your bullshit.

You just tuck a lock of hair away from your vision, and chuckle slightly to hide your hidden thoughts. Grabbing your drink again, you take a sip. "Whatever."

As you set it back down, you could feel the silent stare of Adam at your side in the window. As desperate as you tried, you couldn't ignore it. He radiated a special kind of feeling that you found to be extremely annoying.

His head sunk back into his crossed arms, a brow raised. "So what's got you all in a tizzy?" He breaks the silence, lifting a hand slightly for gesture at your scene.

"Huh?" You flinch out of focus, brows furrowed slightly. "What d'you mean,"

Adam's gaze remained fixed on you, his eyes flickering over your form. He rolled his eyes at your question, a hint of mockery in his tone.

"I mean, what is it that's got you so goddamn uptight? Working on some big project that's got you all stressed out?"

His lip curled slightly in a smirk as he continued to study you, his expression cocky, yet intrigued. "Or is it just me that you can't stand?"

It was your turn to raise a brow, almost amused with his behavior and word choices.

Weren't angels supposed to be primp and proper? Because Adam certainly wasn't. Not in the slightest. You almost smiled at that.

"Well you definitely made the top three on my list," you side eye him for a second, catching his now narrowed gaze. "But I'm trying to go over some orders and edit up my boss' website. I've been running behind a bit because of, .. things." You avert his gaze again, thinking of what stopped your work to begin with. And it wasn't Adam.

"So I'm stretching it out in all one night." You shrug off the guilt creeping inside, typing another couple things down in your laptops notes.

"An editor? So you're basically the grammar police?" He questions, an unamused look on his face now.

You let out a sigh at his words, and grab for your drink again. Sipping it, and turning the laptop screen towards him at the window where he was still perching outside of, you lean back slightly. 

"No, idiot. It's more than just that. I'm an editor for my boss' blog. She's a small business owner, and I handle all of her issues on the website. And, sometimes I work in store, too."

Adam leans forward in the window, squinting his face with a grimace at the preppy website. Clearly not his style.

In a dry voice, Adam replies, "Right, sounds super thrilling." He leans back.

You scoff lightly and turn the laptop back to face yourself, clearly over him and his sarcasm.

What did he know?

With a second glance, your eyes trail him over once, eyeing the fact that he still wasn't even in your bedroom. He was just.. chillin' outside of the window. At least there was some sort of boundary respect. Or maybe he was just oddly comfortable there.

"Aren't you a little.. unfit, to be hanging out the window like that for so long?" You raised a brow, mocking Adam.

Clearly he took offense to that, furrowing his brows with a sense of annoyance. "I'm an Angel. I don't tire out like you do." He shrugs, trying to brush off the comment.

"Besides, I've been perched on worse, for longer." Adam shrugs it off casually with a wave of his hand.

You snort, looking him over. "So you're like a bird?"

You were damned if you were going to let this dude last more than twenty four hours. You're more than certain to drive him crazy before being 'helped' by his guidance.

The walls you held up were thick, and you've told yourself time and time again to not let them crumble after the last time.

You can't let people get close anymore- why should you when all it ends with, is heartbreak?

Adam bristled slightly at your comparison. Oooh, you got him now.

"No, I'm nothing like a bird. I'm a fucking Angel." He stressed, his wings spreading slightly and gleaming in the dim light as a gesture. "We're a hell of a lot cooler than some fuckin feathered nuisance."

You shrug with an eye roll. "Sure look like a feathered nuisance to me." Your words sink into him with another blow to his demanding ego. If you weren't so focused on your laptop again, you'd smirk at it.

"Whatever." He grumbled.

After a moment of him sighing dramatically, finding this entire process to be a degrading, boring experience, he groans and lifts himself into the window again.

"You just gonna sit there and ignore me all night?" He raised a brow, catching your shrug at his words.

"That's the plan." You mumble with a sneering look on your features.

"You know, you're kinda stubborn." Anything but gracefully, Adam pulls himself through the windowsill— just barely fitting through it.

Your eyes turn their attention onto him, and for a second, you lean back, watching him struggle. He was a hell of a lot bigger than what he was showing off in your window for the past twenty minutes.

As he managed his way through a moment of curses and groans, Adam stood to his feet at the end of your bed, and your gaze traveled up. You blink a few times in shock, and unintentionally you find yourself sinking into your pillows behind you.

He was huge.

Towering over you easily, in a robe that only exaggerated his figure, two large wings kept folded at his sides, and some sort of horned mask covering his head.

Fuck, this dude was actually sort of intimidating. He definitely caught your attention, and it was exactly what he was looking for, you think to yourself.

"Alright- let's get down to some fuckin' business." He smirks, rounding the bed to stand at the edge of where you lay in a slight surprise.

"I'm stuck here whether you like it or not- and my boss is gonna kick my ass if I try and get my way out of it again. So you're gonna listen up, and listen good, girlie." He hunched over the bed, pushing the laptop to the side, earning your full undivided attention.

There's a feeling stirring inside your chest of uncertainty as your 'deer-in-headlights' gaze is focused up on him.

"My rules are simple. Don't piss me off, listen without talking back, and just be as least annoying as possible, and we can get through this a lot fucking faster."

Adam leans back, giving you some space to ease the anxiety flooding into your chest.

Who the hell did he think he was talking to like that? You? Oh man, this was gonna hurt his pride, but you weren't one to follow rules exactly well.

"I'm gonna make your life a living nightmare, dude." You roll your eyes at him. It took a bit of mindfulness to ease the anxiety from your heart, but you managed to keep it well hidden.

"You don't wanna be here. Trust me. I'm not really one of those girls who just.. complies." You say, earning a falter in his face. His eyes narrow slightly at that, and two arms cross over his chest.

"Well you better fucking learn how to, because just to ease your mind— I'm gonna be staying here for a bit." He says casually, making a crooked frown at your reaction.

He's staying? 

What the hell, no.

You scrunch your face up at him in question, "You're staying here all night?"

He scoffs, a smile of disbelief crossing his features. "Yeah. What'd you think I was gonna do? Just pop in for an evening chat? The fuck does this look like,"  

Your eyes dull with irritation. Fine, he had a point, but you still hated it.

Where the hell did he plan on sleeping?

"I'm your guardian Angel, remember? I'm supposed to stay with you at all times or whatever. I'm not leavin' anytime soon." He looked just as annoyed as you did about it, actually.

Well good. Then maybe you'd be able to knock him off his high horse sooner than you thought.

"Okay, damn." You shake your head, a mild annoyance reaching your tone. "There's a couch in the living room."

Adam flinched, brows furrowing with disgust at your suggestion. "I'm not sleeping on a couch."

You narrow your eyes. Where the hell else did he expect to sleep? It's not like you had any spare rooms in your condo. It was a one bedroom.

You frown a bit with confusion, as most angels you'd had accepted anything with a smile and grace. Adam was not like other angels.

"What the hell— okay, well then it's the floor then. Because I dunno what else to offer," you mumble with a shrug, giving him the option between two shitty surfaces.

Adam looked clearly offended by this point. He stepped closer with a glare. "The fucking floor? I'm not a dog." He shook his head, scoffing.

You weren't so sure you agreed with him on that one. But if he insisted.

"I'm not taking the floor or the couch, when there's a perfectly good bed right here." He gestured to your large bed, pillows and throw blankets scattered all over it in attempt to be cozier.

Your eyes stare up at him, taking in his casual tone, as if it wasn't a big deal. To him maybe it wasn't, but to you it was. You're not sleeping next to an Angel.

"What? No!" There's a burning feeling filtering into your face, and you quickly shut down that suggestion with a protest.

Adam rolls his eyes once again at your reaction, and groans out with annoyance. "Why not? It's not like I'm asking you to share a fuckin twin bed. It's a full size," He pointed out casually, his arms still crossed over his chest.

"The bed is big enough for both of us. I'll keep to my side, you keep to your side. Simple as that."

Man, he was persistent.

You shrugged away, confining in yourself with crossed arms tightly wrapped around your frame, awkwardly.

"Yeah, right." You mumble, frowning with discomfort. "What if you come on my side in the middle of the night and crush me," your tone is half serious, half sneering.

He huffs, "Oh come on, you think I'm gonna cuddle up next to you in the middle of the night?" He teased, rolling his eyes sarcastically.

"I think I can control myself enough to stay on my side of the bed. And besides, I'm not that big."

With an awkward pause, you take a moment to think it over.

You didn't want to say yes. You had every right to say no, and tell him to F off. But, you didn't. You just sized him up for a split second before reluctantly agreeing. You've been in bed with worse, unfortunately.

"Fine." The sound of your voice is gritting behind clenched teeth. "But I swear to god, if I feel you ANYWHERE near me, I'll shove your ass off that bed with no hesitation." You warn him, a serious tone taking over.

Adam's face showed a brief look of relief at getting out of the couch sentence. He raised two hands up in a mock defense. "Relax. I'm not gonna touch you. I'll stick to the edge, no touchy-feely business, or midnight cuddles. I promise."

You eye him once more before giving in to his statement. With a hint of regret, you scoff, shaking your head at the thoughts inside your mind swirling. You walk out of the bedroom to hide yourself away in the bathroom, shutting the door harshly behind you.

Are you really going through with this? Allowing an Angel in your home?

How bad are the thoughts going to get again when he tries to pry you open and make you spill out your traumas? Will he even do that?

You sigh heavily, sitting on the edge of the shower tub. You'll just have to push him out. It's the only way. 

There's no way you're going through this again.

[goobtacular]

What's your favourite person from history whom most people don't know the name of?

Aw fuck that's not easy to answer. Actually this is quite easy to answer if we increase the weight of the condition "most people" someone like Marie Curie or Earnest Rutherford would work. But I won't cheese your question instead I will tell you about Hyman G Rickover the man who was perhaps the biggest fan of nuclear submarines the world will ever see.

Brosky was working with people to make a nuclear reactor for big ships, I think destroyers I don't know my ship types, really big ships. Anyways he's looking at this tech and he thinks "man imagine if we put a reactor in a submarine that'd be pretty cool" so he tells his boss and his boss is like "look at this idiot, fuck this guy" and get Hyman reassigned to like a shit post or something just not great. Naturally Hyman does this like a bunch more times and truly nobody gives a shit, everyone thinks it's a dumb idea that'd never work.

Now at this he's been at this for a good deal of time, but he finally gets a boss man who's receptive to his idea and sends it up the chain. Bam! Suddenly Hyman off to the races. He works up a plan, some schematics, ect.. you get it, gets his ducks in row and sends his plan off to the nuclear regulatory commission. Now if you don't know who they are, they had absolute authority on everything nuclear, actually don't know if they're still around. Anyway if they didn't like your idea, your reactor, your nuclear plane, your bomb, whatever it was they don't like it you don't do it.

Naturally they looked at Hymans plans and said this is a terrible idea, look at this fuckin idiot. So he sends a different, if similar plan, and gets rejected again. He does this so persistently they start rejecting his proposals as soon as they realize his names on it. (This would be a cool story if he just lied about who he was but honestly what he did instead was approximately 9000x cooler)

Like two years after he starts working on his nuclear sub idea, called the Nautilus, he gets himself appointed as a director in the nuclear regulatory commission. I'm not 100% certain as to how high that is, whether he was big man in charge or part of council. Realistically probably the later. Regardless, this baller ass man is now the person who gets to decide if a reactor is made.

So he submits his proposal again, and wouldn't you know he approved it as well. Undoubtedly a terrible conflict of interest and indicative of some rather terrible hiring practices, but good for nuclear submarines and actually like everyone on earth. Dude bro made this reactor, with a team, that was like super tiny and when it exploded was pretty tame all things considered. Plus it was a water steam reactor, meaning to resupply you just more fuel rods and more water, the first of its kind. There are more effective reactors, there are more efficient reactors. Most reactors produce plutonium as a waste product, and some funky peeps, I believe in Japan, created plutonium reactors that used waste plutonium for nuclear fission.

But that plutonium reactor, when it was created in France, exploded, admittedly due to user error, and was nearly catastrophic. Haymans reactor on the other did explode, in the U.S and nobody gave a shit. I believe there were three casualties, one dead, because he got hit by the door of the reactor. Quite literally the safest reactor ever invented. Every reactor in operation currently is based on Hayman's design.

Hayman was legendarily concerned with nuclear safety. For all that his motives in getting the position, while the/a director for the nuclear regulatory commission, there were 0 reactor explosions in the entire U.S navy. Let me repeat that 0. He earned a shit ton of medals too, cause he was really good at his job.

He revolutionized, with help, nuclear energy and saved countless lives from the potential risk of more dangerous reactors. Admittedly did so by creating weapons of war, which also killed people

He died in disgrace after a scandal, which, I believe, he was not culpable for, and accepting bribes which he was culpable for

[apocalypticdemon]

got this a few days ago but was in academic paper hell, so i'm sorry for the delay! thanks for the tag, @clandestinegardenias and @sunlaire!

do you make your bed? i definitely should, and i absolutely do not lol

what's your favorite number? i've had a personal fondness for 13 ever since i was a kid, but i also really enjoy the number 117. for nerd reasons

what is my job? that's. a moving target tbh. during the school year, i worked as a TA at my university, while working weekends at a coffee shop as a baker. now that it's summer, i'm going to have to get a second job, but the jury's still out on what that's going to be.

if you could go back to school would you? i am currently in school, and i'm hoping to get a PhD, so i don't think i'll be going back to school right now, lol. but in a hypothetical future, just to do whatever? absolutely. i would get another bachelors in neuroscience or some other field of biology, probably for medical research.

can you parallel park? absolutely. but i fuckin hate it, lol, and being on the road makes me nervous, so i avoid it at all costs. but i can do it

a job you had that would surprise people? dunno if i have anything in my history that has been surprising. i guess the lab technician one is kind of the outlier.

do you think aliens are real? yeah, but it's probably microbial life of some sort.

can you drive a manual car? i learned the basics, but all i can really do is drive in circles in a parking lot in second gear. my mom tried to get me to drive it on the road and i got scared, lol, so i never fully learned how to do it.

what's your guilty pleasure? honestly it's TV from the 70s. begrudgingly i have to admit i like CHiPs. Emergency! is a non-guilty pleasure, though. love that one with my whole heart. but a lot of older stuff has some... pretty not great politics involved, but i still really enjoy them. also have to admit that i really like those terrible Dan Brown movie adaptations, lol

tattoos? i want at least 3 and have plans, but i haven't found an artist yet to get them. but i don't have any as of yet.

favorite color? tbh it depends on my mood. the goth in me says that it's a deep burgundy or a velvety black, but really deep greens or very vivid sky blue is also very good. saturated jewel tones as a color class are my jam, i guess.

favorite type of music? this is a cruel question to ask me. i have so many. i've been on a real rammstein/alt metal/nu-metal kick lately, but i also really go for folk, hard rock, prog rock, and 1980s new wave music. but i'll listen to just about anything. if i'm going for orchestral music, i have to say minimalism all the way. i adore the work of philip glass and arvo part

do you like puzzles? absolutely, in any form. jigsaw puzzles are really soothing and engaging, but i also adore puzzle games. i've revisited the Portal franchise lately, and i have a game series called The Room (not the movie...) that's only a series of puzzles. they can be frustrating, but i adore them

any phobias? i am a deeply anxious person, but i am petrified of fire. it's kind of unreasonable. bugs and germs also make me lock up really hard, too, even though i can rationalize my way through them. but all of them freak me out really badly.

favorite childhood sport? oh it was definitely competitive swimming. soccer was really really fun, but i miss being on the swim team. though i did like 5 sports growing up and truly would just love to have joints that would let me do any of them again

do you talk to yourself? oh yeah. internal and external monologue, baby. my college friends got to be on a call yesterday and listen to me talk my way through editing papers, lol. i talk to myself while doing laundry, cleaning, just walking through the house or from my car to my place. truly, i never shut up

what movie(s) do you adore? there are a lot, honestly. Castle in the Sky, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, Crimson Peak, Pacific Rim, The Nice Guys, and For A Few Dollars More are probably the movies i've watched the most. also literally any Dan Bluth film. the animation is always so gorgeous

coffee or tea? definitely tea. i love herbal teas, but i can't do caffeine, so like. there are only so many things i can drink now, lol

first thing you wanted to be growing up? paleontologist. hands down. i wanted to be a paleontologist from age like 6 until 15 or 16. then i had to do a research project on what jobs are growing and found out there aren't many job openings. so i pivoted to music. and then music academia. lol. lmao (i say it cynically, but i genuinely love what i'm doing, it's just funny to me)

this was lengthy, but if you want to participate, consider yourself tagged!

[chronically-caffeinated]

I normally do personal posts in tags but idk personal nonsense under the cut

Fuckin. God yeah getting hit with big emotions today and guess have been for the last while. Last few months have been chaos in kind of a good way and I haven't had too much time to just stop and sit and think and idk I'm here kind of reflecting on the last year and where I was and where I am and just like fuck man I feel good I guess. Melancholy. Reflecting on some dumb shit that happened last year and like. Fuck yeah I sure did wind up in a whirlwind of god damn terrible emotions and self loathing and tried to escape by throwing myself into sex and drugs and alcohol and parties and just anything to get myself away and just fuckin feel like I was anything. I don't know what I'm saying last summer was absolute dogshit and I did some shitty things. Like damn I sure did land an assault charge and have spent the last year paying off my lawyer and attending mandatory parole. It sure did fuck me over financially and amalgamate with all my other drama and anxiety and depression and just like idk fuck I sure as hell did try and take my own life last year and damn do I sure as hell feel pretty stable these days. I don't feel scared that I'm gonna get me anymore. I don't feel like a monster that's trying to hunt myself down and finish the job any time anything goes wrong. I'm not scared of snapping and making another attempt. I've put in a lot of work to getting myself where I am and had a lot of help from a lot of really great people (if you're reading this you probably know who you are there's a few of you here that helped me immensely) like yeah idk just grappling with an major identity crisis and substance abuse and self harm and shit. But idk were kinda past it we're getting professional help and working through things and rebuilding in a new city for the third time and it feels like my life is getting to where I want it. I've got plans in place to get myself where I want to go and I'm doing my best to act on them and really improve things and shit like we've been succeeding. I like my life right now. Can honestly truly say I like me right now. I like who I've become and the people I've surrounded myself with. For the first time like ever I'm excited to get old. See where life takes me. I'm all emotional and shit I just needed to get this all out of my head I don't really have a point here or know what I'm talking about I'm just emotional but doing good I guess

[glitterglamsparkles]

Manifestation Success Story

Alright, so I have been seeing a lot of (clearly) fake success stories here, on manifestation and 'waking up to a barbie-like body', 'jennie kim-esque body' etc, which honestly kinda put me off from trying it out.

I'm going to share my story and the successes I have managed. it requires commitment - also, side note: mental diets aren't the easiest since we all experience negative emotion. The law of assumption/law of belief is accepting these raw emotions, then believing that these fears would go away.

I was living in a time filled with fear - my career was a mess, under a soul sucking manager and an unhappy situation, a boyfriend that....honestly didn't want me AT ALL (but I wanted him), terrible finances etc.

I went through a subreddit called r/joesphmurphy and read through his book, The Power Of the Subconcious mind. Then, I began what the subreddit recommended. One day of meditation for 20mins (I AM) then every day affirming before bed (SATS), and 10 min meditations twice a day where I saw a desired life.

I did have a LOT of fears.

A month later, I got an interview call. Yes, I had been continuously applying for jobs. There was action, but also lunk because the job had 600 applicants(You see that data on LinkedIn). I sent my writing test, did the interviews...and I got the job. It was four times my old pay! I couldn't believe it for such a long time lol. It felt fuckin amazing.

My housing situation was terrible (room mate, no privacy, etc) - until my landlord told me the municipality had told us to leave. I HAD to find a quick place....and long story short I ended up getting a discount at a HOTEL APARTMENT. That's right. peak luxury for a great deal. I mean technically with the high pay I could afford it but woooo

So the boyfriend, he ended up dumping my ass 2 weeks into my meditation practice. Around 3 months later (by then I had changed my job, and all that time I my meditation was focused on settling into my workplace and passing probation), I added a man by accident on a social platform. He DMs me, and we talk...again long story short, I met a man who legit treats me like a queen. Everything I meditated for: travelling with a partner, someone who introduces me to their friends, a love language where they put me on a pedestal (contrast to the previous) came about. It was magical.

So yeah, it took time. I focused on my goals one by one.

Its magic. Truly. I have new goals, will update soon.

[bumblebeatrice]

mumble mumble i finally watched saltburn...actors aside cause i think they did a great job, i fuckin HATE felix and oliver and farleigh the only one that was okay was venetia but like felix was ignorant and obnoxious and obviously played the family game but farleigh was actively horrible which like in hindsight yes oliver deserved bc he's psycho but every scene with farleigh was irritating because he just started shit and once oliver got to saltburn and started playing the game i was done with his ass i stopped feeling bad for him like i don't think that man went to school with the intent to do all of that but i think he's an opportunist and saw an opening and destroyed everyone. truly farleigh was the lucky one cause he got kicked out so he never died also how the fuck did elspeth get sick is that ever explained or do we just assume oliver was like slowly poisoning her to finish the family off and take the property?? also the ROCKS?? AT THE END?? that was the darkest part honestly that was so fucked up

[jarofstyles]

Can we get a cute blurb of Harry and y/n cuddling and Harry telling her how much he loves her?

Yes a mini blurb 🤓 of course.

If you like this, please check out our Patreon!

———-

“Y’know how much I love you, right?”

Cuddling in the couch was a rarity this time of the year. It was always busy and there were always plans, but Y/N took it like a champ and never really complained. She knew his job could be demanding, and while sometimes it made her miss these times, she knew that if he had it his way this would be an every night occurrence.

“Mhm. I do. But feel free to elaborate.” She flirting, bringing their intertwined hands up to her mouth so she could kiss the back of his hand. She was laid against him, tucked under his arm with her head against his chest while they watched an obscure design show in the television.

“Cheeky girl.” He chuckled, smooching the side of her head. “Hm… let’s start with his y’still manage to give me butterflies.” Since they’d first started seeing each other, he was shocked that these butterflies were real. He had thought he had felt them before. But Y/N showed up and knocked it all out of the water.

“Oh, do I?” That didn’t surprise her fully, considering she felt the same.

“Mhm. But s’different with you. In all past things I’ve had… the excitement changed. The first month or two would be great but as it went on it would all fizzle out. But I still get giddy when I realize I get to come home and see you. It’s been a whole year.” He admitted, sighing in contentment as she shifted slightly and looked up at him.

“And then, I get so proud to show you off. M’usually so private. But I don’t mind if someone sees me with you. I’m excited that they do. Knowing that everyone else knows you’re mine, and you’re with me? You chose me? Makes me feel like the king of the world.” He wasn’t ashamed to admit it to her either. He felt her free hand’s fingers ghost over his jawline, looking down to see a fond smile on her face.

“H…” she grinned, kissing his chest. “I love when you’re like this.” He was an affectionate lover but having him bare a part of his soul for her was a welcome part to their already intimate evening.

“But s’true. I have all this love and appreciation for you pent up and I don’t say it all the time cause I don’t want ya y’get tired of hearing me jabber away about how you basically hung the moon in my world.” He was only slightly joking. She did. And all the stars. “You’re so understanding of my world. You don’t get angry at me too often, unless m’being a dickhead. You call me out on my shit, even when I don’t like hearing it. You keep me grounded. People aren’t straight with me in this life, they’ll say yes to stay in my good side. Y’never ever cared about that with me. You always told me where I could shove it when I was being a prick and honestly, s’sexy.” He wiggled his brows and let out a laugh when she playfully smacked his chest. “Oi, don’t assault me for the truth. Y’get the bloody furrowed brow and pout and that mean stare… Christ…” he let out a faux moan, making her giggle yet again.

“You treat everyone with kindness. Y’aren’t a pushover and you set boundaries. Animals love you, including mum’s cats, and all of my mate’s dogs. You’re always a hit. Y’help out at parties and everyone, Everyone tells me how much of a pleasure you are. Like I don’t already know. Y’dont know how many times I’ve been threatened to not fuck this up or they’ll be choosing you over me.” He laughed breathily. “I don’t blame ‘em.”

Y/N watched with moony eyes as her lover complimented her with such lovely words, making her feel all warm and melty. He was always affectionate but it was moments like this made her realize that he truly did notice a lot more than anyone else realized, including herself.

“You make me those ‘slutty brownies’ even after I made fun of ‘em. You memorized my orders for coffee and even the one time I mentioned I liked to have chips with cheese when m’drunk, you just… you’re so thoughtful and lovely. You’re beautiful. Y’light up a room and sometimes it’s hard to believe you’re truly mine. I want to keep you forever.” He sighed, happy when Y/N leaned up slightly and pressed her warm lips to his. A tender, soft kiss with loving intentions behind it, she hummed into it with a smile interrupting it.

“Whats got you all smiley, hm?” He snickered, pecking her smile even though it was mainly teeth.

“You’re just…” she paused. “An absolute fuckin’ cheeseball.”

“Oi!”

[stargazer-sims]

previously...

53 - Throw Caution to the Wind

There's a Nookstone Clinic in San Myshuno.

"These weird science places are everywhere, aren't they?" was Derek's comment when he and Dylan had looked it up online. To Derek, the entire situation is almost too bizarre for words. It defies rational belief. Yet, here he is, sitting in Dylan's posh house in Newcrest, trying not to eavesdrop while his brother conducts a phone conversation with somebody in San My who is possibly a doctor and quite probably from another planet.

Derek knows aliens exist. He believes in them the way he believes in electricity; content to accept that it's there, out of sight and doing its thing, easy to ignore until you get zapped while trying to plug in your electric razor, due to the faulty wiring in your trailer. Just like that, the reality of aliens had not truly crystalized for him until they'd gotten his brother pregnant.

Until Dylan let them get him pregnant, he amends. He still has no clue what got into Dylan’s head to make him think that was a great plan. Probably more of Zahir’s bullshit. Zahir's always talking him into doing stuff he'd never do by himself.

Fuckin’ Zahir.

To say there’s no love lost between Derek and his brother-in-law would be an understatement, but he's always made a point to be polite to him for Dylan's sake. Watcher alone knows why, but Dylan apparently does love the guy, and Derek figures he'd be a shitty brother if he couldn't at least pretend to get along. But, deep down, he can't find it in his heart to accept his brother's husband. He doesn't like Zahir's superior attitude and the way he just acts like a stereotypical rich person, flaunting the fact that he has an important job and a fancy education and a big house in an affluent neighbourhood. But mostly, he doesn't like the way Zahir treats Dylan, like he needs to be supervised and trained how to live in civilized society, and scolded when he does something inappropriate, like he's a pet instead of a person.

Zahir and Dylan are each the product of totally different circumstances, and Derek is a firm believer that some elements cannot be mixed. Like oil and water, he's sure those two were never meant to be together. Zahir wouldn't last five minutes in the anything-goes environment of the trailer park, and Derek is honestly surprised that Dylan has held out as long as he has in Zahir's neat and tidy world with all its elegance and its complicated social rules.

The cracks are showing now, though, and maybe they'd been there for a lot longer than Dylan had been willing to let on. Maybe, in the same way Derek has been covering up his dislike for Zahir to spare Dylan’s feelings, Dylan has been hiding things in an attempt to protect Derek and their parents. If so, he's been doing a pretty decent job of it up to now.

Derek has to admit to himself that he was a little shocked at the development of events over the weekend. Of course he'd known Dylan was depressed. It's not like they hadn't been talking to each other during the past several weeks, but Derek had absolutely no idea that his brother was mentally unwell to the point of being suicidal, to the point of literally standing on the retaining wall of the canal with the water just centimeters from his feet.

Then again, maybe it made sense in a way. Derek might consider killing himself too, if he realized he'd made a mistake that would cost him his future. If he's being honest, the prospect of the daily drudgery of having a kid would make him want to throw himself into the nearest large body of water. He can't imagine anything more life-altering and burdensome.

Derek hadn't actually needed to suggest the idea of a termination. Dylan had already thought of that as a potential solution on his own, but he'd rejected it at first because he said his husband would never forgive him if he did it. Apparently, he'd thought about it some more since Saturday, because it's now Monday morning and he's calling somebody to ask about making it happen. Derek guesses Dylan has concluded that trying to put his life back together without Zahir is the lesser of two evils in a situation that has no realistic prospect of an outcome that'll make everyone happy.

Derek hangs out in the living room and plays a game on his phone, trying not to pay too much attention as Dylan stays in the kitchen and talks to whoever it is at the clinic in San Myshuno. The downstairs part of the house is open concept, so this is a lot harder than it might otherwise have been, but Derek focuses his mind as best he can on the screen in front of him. Dylan will tell him all about the call when he hangs up from it anyway, so there's no point in trying to piece it together now.

While he waits, he fumes silently that the phone call is even necessary. He decides it's lucky Zahir is at work right now, because he doesn't think he could hold his anger in if he were to see his brother-in-law's smug face. He'd probably punch him. In fact, he wouldn't think twice about it.

The vivid mental image of beating the crap out of his brother-in-law and finally venting years of frustration, anger and humiliation occupies him for a bit. He'd undoubtedly end up in jail for it, but a month or two behind bars would be worth it. It's not as if he doesn't already have a sheet anyway.

After a few minutes, he goes back to his game. Zahir's mom would be upset if Derek hurt him. He actually likes Sidra. Plus, she's best friends with his own mom, and he really does try not to deliberately do stuff to upset his mother. He guesses fantasies are about as far as he can reasonably go. As much as he'd enjoy it, respecting his mom is more important than indulging his own admittedly vulgar tendencies.

His phone screen flashes GAME OVER. He's just about to start a new game when he suddenly becomes aware that Dylan's voice is growing louder. He looks up in time to see Dylan shuffling from the kitchen over to the living room.

"Okay," Dylan is saying. "I understand."

Derek gives him a questioning look, but Dylan makes a 'wait a minute' gesture. He's still listening to the person on the other end of the line. Then, he says. "No, I don't want to be referred to a counsellor in my local area. You people have done enough. I'll figure it out on my own." A pause, and then, "No... thank you. Goodbye."

Dylan glares at his phone for half a second before tapping to end the call. He shoves the phone into his pocket.

"Fucking idiots," he mumbles.

"What'd they say?" Derek asks. "I guess you don't have to tell me it didn't go the way you wanted."

Dylan crosses the rest of the distance between them,, and flops dejectedly beside Derek on the sofa. "They won't do it," he says.

"What? Why not?"

"Because I'm sixteen weeks along, and they say it's got a brain and a heartbeat now. They won't do it for, get this..." He makes finger quotes. "Ethical reasons."

"Ethical reasons? Like, their ethics are more important than your right to choose? More fuckin' important than your mental health and like, the interest of not ending yourself?"

Dylan shrugs. "Something like that, I guess."

"Even if you're paying them?"

"We didn't even get into that," Dylan says. "They just refused outright."

"Well, that sucks," Derek says. "Most people will do anything for the right amount of money. Maybe aliens actually are ethical."

"Yeah."

"What are you going to do now?

Dylan sighs. "Damned if I know. Maybe I can get a normal doctor to take it out. Maybe I can tell them I was abducted or something."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure lying to a doctor is illegal," says Derek. "Maybe you can just stop taking the hormones. You said the reason you need them is to stay pregnant, right?"

Dylan stares at him. "I'm going to cut you some slack, because you obviously didn't think that through before you opened your mouth."

"What?"

"The point is to get it out of me, not to have it like, decompose in there or something," Dylan says. "That's the worst possible option on a menu of shitty options." He slumps even further and rests his forehead in his hand. "I guess I'm pretty much stuck with it now, like it or not. This fucking sucks, and the worst part is, it's my own fault."

"Live and learn?"

"Shut up, Derek."

"Look," Derek says. "Your options are shit anyway, so just have the kid and then give it up for adoption. Or leave it with Zahir, if he wants a kid so bad, and then go off and live your own life the way you want to. I mean, divorce is also a thing, right?"

"I don't want to get divorced from him."

"Don't you?" Derek asks. "You really wanna be with somebody who treats you like shit and doesn't listen to you or care about your feelings?"

"That's just it," Dyan says. "He never used to be like that. We had a great relationship up until this whole baby thing. Now, he's got this single-minded focus on the baby, and it's like I don't even matter any more."

"So, basically your kid is getting more attention than you before it's even born, and you're jealous."

"If I'm jealous, can you blame me?" Dylan says. "It's ruining everything. My life was going along just fine, and then because of this kid, I suddenly lost my relationship, my freedom and my future all at once. I can't even choose the places I go or what I eat for lunch any more, and I can't live like that."

"Which brings us back to the question of what you're going to do."

"I can't even think about it," Dylan says. "Right now, all I want to do is go to San My and get absolutely fuckin' wasted. By Friday, I don't even want to be capable of remembering what happened between then and now."

"Really? You still want to go to San Myshuno, even though you can't get the thing done there?"

"That wasn't the only reason I was going," Dylan says.

"Booze, drugs and soft, sweet boys with questionable morals, who'll do anything for money?"

"Been a long time since I had one of those."

"Then, you're long past due," says Derek. "Personally, I'm going for a lady with experience. Y'know, one who'll know how to do everything I like. And the drugs and booze too, naturally."

"If I'm sober at any point in the week, I'll consider it a failed mission," Dylan says. "Sweet boys or no sweet boys, I'm gonna be so fucking drunk..."

"If you're too drunk, you won't be able to get it up," Derek teases him.

"Fuck off."

Derek laughs. "Seriously, bro. We can't be drunk and high all week. There's stuff to do in San My, you know. We'll have to go shopping and see the street art and do karaoke. And we gotta hit up some of the good restaurants. They've got the best variety of ethnic foods."

"Okay. Yes to the restaurants and karaoke. I'll have to think about the shopping and street art.”

"Cool," says Derek. "We can work out the details once we get there. Let's hurry and pack your stuff, and then get the hell out of here before Zahir comes home."

[bnha-more-like-bnh-gay]

Incorrect MHA as things I’ve said during ✨mental breakdowns✨ part 4:

*TW FOR ATTEMPTED $U!C!DE*

Shouto: you can take one look at me and know I’m not mentally stable! look at me, look at my hair?!

———————

Shouto: things were going great you know, then my parents just had to go and make me

———————

Jirou: there is no consistency, only Washing Machine Heart

———————

Monoma: If I have to be here, I am going to make it everyone’s problem

———————

Aoyama: the the shiniest broken disco ball

———————

Izuku: why did I do this? Oh, because I’m Izuku and I make dUMB DECISIONS

———————

Iida: the stress has toppled over, it’s panic attack time

———————

Kaminari: im resting my neck; it’s tired from keeping all my thoughts in my head

———————

Kaminari: what are words if not organized key smashes

———————

Aoyama: If beauty is pain, it explains why I am constantly hurting

———————

Aoyama: the question is, “how fabulous am I?” And the answer,,, is yes

———————

Uraraka: I am small and confrontational, fight me! The lord shan’t win!

———————

Izuku: I am small, and afraid of conflict; please don’t come near me

———————

Shinsou: and I’m going to grab some more coffee, because in the end, I truly am just an unhealthy bitch

———————

Kaminari: I haven’t said something relatively funny in the past 10 minutes; therefore, all my friends hate me and my potential is nonexistent. Have a good day.

———————

Iida: it’s a bad idea, but am I supposed to make good ideas? No! I’m a teenager! This sh*t is expected

———————

Jirou and Shouto: my two defining features are that I am 1) gay. And 2) mentally unstable

———————

Aoyama about someone who was rude to him: honestly, they’re so in love with me it’s sad

———————

Most of them, honestly: I don’t know romance, I only know trauma

———————

Aizawa or shinsou: fUck me; life is meaningless

———————

Aizawa: ah, natural selection

———————

Izuku: the only constant in my life is that I’m used as a therapist by all those around me

———————

Shinsou: cant have any traumatic memories if you don’t have any memories at all! Work smarter, not harder kids

————————

Izuku: why ask for help when you can crawl into a hole and die?

————————

Shouto: proof that I am both immortal and a glitch in the matrix: I have no memories of my childhood; therefore, I spawned. And I cannot be killed no matter how many times others have tried to kill me, and I have tried to kill myself

————————

Izuku: there was a conflict, so I had an anxiety attack. Then, there was another conflict, so I hid in the bathroom and looked at memes

————————

Shouto: after years of being unable to cry, I finally just had a mental breakdown and sobbed uncontrollably for two hours.

————————

Jirou: when people look at me I want them to ask, “is she gay?” Not, “what is wrong with her?”

————————

Mina: for someone who isn’t holding it together at all, I think I’m doing a pretty good job of acting like I know what I’m doing

————————

Monoma: if I can’t feel good at least I must look good so that others can know I’m better than them

————————

Kaminari: *altered slightly to fit the situation and because I’m not telling you my professors name* Mr. Aizawa doesn’t just wake up, Mr. Aizawa wakes up, tells me to go fuck myself, and goes back to sleep. That’s a day in the life of Mr. Aizawa

————————

Shinsou: I haven’t felt true joy since 1802

————————

Izuku: I love making fun of myself, because it gives me such a confidence boost while also making me feel like complete shit

————————

Jirou, Uraraka, or Sero: assign me more work, will you? Well, watch me down my third Monster Energy of the day, heha. *shaking* that’ll show ‘em. Caffeine runs through my veins! What runs through yours? Fuckin’,, oxygen? Blood? Weakling. Get on my level

—————————

Izuku: okay, I lie to myself often, but this??? This was a betrayal

(If you’re wondering, I thought I had three more pages to read, not four)

[vizowrites]

That’s One Hell of a Resume

{Set during the Harvest Moon Festival competitions}

~*~

To  Blitzø’s great surprise, the Harvest Moon Festival was actually turning out to not be a fuck fest invite after all.

He honestly hadn’t been sure when the games initially kicked off.  The horde of imps that had come to compete for the title of “the roughest, toughest, bastard in Wrath” had a proclivity for violence that could easily--and not inaccurately--be described as a passion.  Then of course there was Stolas, watching him thirstily from atop his fancy seat underneath his fancy tent, cooing and cheering out “Blitzyyyyy!!'' at every opportunity he got to speak.  Yet the honored owl prince somehow still managed to keep his pants on throughout each and every event--and even more impressively managed to keep his degrading sweet talk void of any sexual obscenities.  He hadn’t even been able to manage that much on a day trip to a theme park with his daughter.  Yet somehow...this wasn’t even the best part of the festival to  Blitzø.  It was up there to be sure, but it wasn’t the toppiest top.  The “dom of the disco”**, if you will.  

No, the BEST part of the festival--and the thing that kept the imp grinning from ear to ear throughout the entire competition--was that this honkytonk battle royale was shaping up to be the perfect opportunity to show off and be recognized for just how much of a boss-ass bitch Blitz actually was: 2nd to absolutely fucking none.

Well...maybe with ONE slight exception.

“I gotta say, you just keep on impressin’ me every chance you get,” that one slight exception said with a smirk, the tip of his tail flicking forward into a small curl.  “No wonder your killin’ biz is so successful.  You do every kill single-handed there, Boss Man?” The two were standing off on the sidelines together during one of the many interims inbetween contests, where the first round winners had already secured their victories and now were stuck watching the remaining shitty losers battle it out to find out which of them would end up being the absolute shittiest loser.  It was taking a stupidly long-ass time, a hell of a lot longer than  Blitzø would’ve normally had the patience for, but with his present company leaning up against the bleacher stands like that.....there were definitely worse ways he could be spending his down time right now.

“Nah,” he answered with a small flick of his wrist, gesturing vaguely in the general direction of where he’d last seen Moxxie getting his ass kicked and Millie sitting in the stands watching it happen.  “I know he’s not doing a great job of showing it right now--” he said just as Moxxie got elbow dropped by a shark “--but Moxxie’s not completely useless.  He did get me shot on a job once while he was in the middle of being a little bitch, but as soon as he finally found his balls again, he got things back under control pretty fast.  And Millie’s just a straight up badass.  If her parents had allowed her to play in the games, you’d have gotten your ass handed to you three rounds ago.”

“That so?” Striker’s lips drew back into a slight smirk, just enough for the light to catch on the very tip of his fanged gold tooth.  “Because I seem to remember a certain someone else bein’ the one to get themselves all roped up in a hogtie about three rounds ago.”  

“I have no idea what you’re talking about but it sounds like complete bullshit.”

“That’s kinda what I was thinkin’ myself to be honest after that first relay run--” Those snake-like eyes raked in every inch of Blitz’s annoyed face, feeling the corners of his own pleasantly sting as his grin spread even wider. “Right up ‘til I saw some o’that nice red color risin’ up in their face--”

“IT’S HOT--THERE ARE FUCKING VOLCANOES NEARBY OKAY!!” Blitz realized, very quickly, just how loud and defensive those words sounded, but he also realized just as quickly that there wasn’t anything he could do to take them back now.  Instead, he straightened himself up, cleared his throat, pretended that there wasn’t some of ‘that nice red color’ in his face now, and said in what he thought was a much more nonchalant voice, “Anyway, I’m starving, and since these last few dipshits are taking forever to get their asses kicked, I’m gonna go find something deep-fried to shove down my throat.  Catch you at the awards ceremony or whatever the fuck they do around here to finish themselves off.”

The I.M.P. Head made it a grand total of two steps before the unmistakable crunch of boots sounded behind him, followed by a faint scoff of a laugh and the distinct rattling of a tail as Striker joined him at his side.  

“There’s a whole row of food stands back there behind the stage,” he said with a nod, meeting  Blitzø’s stride and starting to veer them off in that direction.  “And now that you mention it, I wouldn’t mind grabbin’ a bite.  Besides--I feel like I might owe you one for bringin’ up such a tender subject.”

The unrepentant but non-malicious smirk he sent Blitz’s way wasn’t at all softened by the wink that accompanied it, but it somehow brought a slight smile to the smaller imp’s lips all the same.

“You got fucking lucky and that was it,” Blitz insisted with a sharp flick of his tail, not having the faintest fucking clue why he was smiling about this in the first place but subconscioiusly hoping that swatting at Striker would be distracting enough that the taller imp wouldn’t notice.  “And besides, I could’ve gotten out of it if I had really wanted to.”

“Oh, so you wanted to be all tied up like that?”  The grin that spread across Striker’s face was even wider than the first, his razor sharp teeth now on full display. “Well now, if that’s what you were wantin’ you could’ve just asked.  I’d’ve been happy to oblige right from the start.” 

“Ha! Like I’d ever make it that easy for you,”  Blitzø retorted with a challenging grin, his eyes dancing with a truly impish gleam of delight as he and Striker rounded the stage together, his earlier thoughts of the food shacks that waited beyond almost entirely forgotten as they were overtaken by memories of their constant back-and-forth scuffle throughout the festival. “You beating me fair and square is one thing--even though you still totally just got really fucking lucky and also it definitely never even happened in the first place.  But if you were actually going to beat me...you better believe it’s not gonna happen without a fight.  I don’t just bow out like some sloppy bitch who can’t figure out where they put their car keys and has to take the walk of shame back to their shitty apartment at 4 in the morning.  If you wanna come out on top over me, you better fucking work for it.”  

The black tip of his pointed tail flicked up to poke Striker once in the center of his chest, punctuating the word ‘work’ perfectly. 

Striker’s tail, on the other hand, began to rattle.

“Yeah?” he said, his earlier easy tone starting to become weighted with something softer, but deeper.  Neither he nor  Blitzø made any indication that they were aware that he was guiding them both right on past the front of the stand that they had originally been headed toward, and instead had them disappearing into the shadows behind it. “You’re okay with not coming out on top so long as whoever does earns their place there?”

“I mean...”  Blitzø trailed off a bit as he casually leaned up against the back of the stand, folding his arms over his chest as he eyed Striker with that lingering gleam in his own gaze. “You have been able to keep up with me in all the other games...so I guess it might be possible for you to get the upper hand on me for at least one of them.”  

“Just me?”  The rattling sound intensified. 

“Well there sure as fuck wasn’t anyone else who was able to keep up,”  Blitzø rolled his eyes in annoyed exasperation at just how much everyone else truly sucked in comparison to the two of them, before he slowly looked back up at Striker--and realized that the snake-like imp was suddenly a lot closer than he’d been before.  Much closer.  

“...Striker?”

“Yeah, Blitz?”

“Please tell me we’re not actually talking about the fucking games anymore.”

A short, soft laugh was the initial answer, followed by that still rattling tail coiling around Blitz’s slender waist as Striker propped himself up on one arm against the structure behind them, his hand splayed just to the side of the crimson imp’s right cheek.  

“I haven’t been talkin’ about the games since you got me with your tail, Darlin’,” he whispered, his hooded eyes narrowing to glowing slits of pale gold as he leaned in almost close enough to touch.  “But I don’t know if there ain’t somethin’ to be said about that “fuckin’” part yet...”

Blitz’s words came back to him then, ringing in his head as clear as when he first said them: 

“...Well if you promise this isn’t some fuck fest invite...”

“.....You gonna work for it, Cowboy?” 

“Yessir, Boss Man.” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So...lemme get this straight--”  Blitzø finally shifted his weight, easing it off of Striker and rolling to rest his back on whatever podunk concession stand they’d spent the last ten minutes fucking up against.  “--You tie me for first place in the games, you ride around on the most majestic fucking horse I’ve ever seen, you take down a hell hog with a single stab while completely and mercilessly humiliating one of my employees in front of his in-laws at the same fucking time, and you called me “Sir” when we first met?  AND you’re a great fuck??”

The quirked eyebrow and smug gold-toothed grin he got in reply said more than words ever could, especially when accompanied by the satisfied rattling of that long, spiked tail.

“That’s one hell of a resume you’ve got there.”  Blitzø didn’t even realize his own face had split into a grin until he saw it reflected in Striker’s eyes, hypnotized by the sheer reckless abandon he felt ignited between them.  “Want to join I.M.P.?”  

Striker couldn’t help but laugh, reaching up to adjust the brim of his hat from where Blitz’s tail had nearly knocked it off, his unwavering gaze sparking into an infernal glow.

“Tell you what,” he said, his tone a warm rumble of amusement meeting temptation.  “You and I head on back to the stage, revel in our well-deserved glory, and--once we’re satisfied it’s been rubbed into the faces of those sorry ass losers enough--I’ll head on back up to the farm and have a little talk with Miss Mildred’s folks about finishin’ things up around here for the season.  Maybe see if they can find another set of hands to join ‘em for the next one if mine are gonna be occupied with--” His hand found its way down to Blito’s face, the sharp claw-like nail of his thumb pressing under the shorter imp’s chin to tilt it up towards his own. “--other things.”

“Believe me, Cowboy,”  Blitzø’s eyes were burning, twin embers of eagerness that ran so deep he could feel the heat of it vibrating through to his very core--and his vocal chords.  “You’re not going to find a more hands-on job than the one you’re gonna get if you come and work for me.  ESPECIALLY in that order.” 

Striker’s tail snaked its way up and along past Blitz’s hip, the pointed tip flicking over his chest as it’s rattle joined in the chorus of that deep, heated purring.  

“Don’t mind if I hold you to that, Sir.”

“Oh fuck me--”

And Striker did. Again.

~*~

Random Notes: 

**My counterpart to the phrase “the belle of the ball”--”the dom of the disco”.  I think I’m way funnier than I actually am. :D

ANYWAY tho I really hope y’all like it!!  This is the first fanfic I’ve posted anywhere publicly in a hot minute so I hope it’s not a bad kickoff to something I’m hoping to really get back into!!  I have plans to post the full fic of this--with the non-censored sex scene to my AO3 oohlala--so if that’s something you’d like to see, feel free to lemme know here and I can get right on that!!  Otherwise have a great day, thanks for reading, and if anyone wants to hit me up for some lovely BlitzStrike talks, I’m always open to messages!!

Thanks again Lovelies!! <3

[please-buckme]

A Broken Heart.

Lee Bodecker x fem!reader

Chapter 3

Chapter warnings: cursing, drinking, 18+, very slight mentions of sex

Chapter summary: Just how okay are you, Sheriff?

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Chapter 2 // Chapter 4

Lee knew the second he went home that night he’d regret it. He stayed late at the station just to avoid his wife and her snarled, red hot face that she always wore before having her daily yelling match with him.

His brakes screeched as he pulled into the dusty driveway. He shut the door as lightly as possible, hoping Laura-Jean was asleep and he wouldn’t have to deal with her mouth. He turned his keys ever so slight, unlocking the front door to his home and cracked it just enough to walk in, only to see Laura-Jean waiting for him. She had a cigarette in one hand and a crystal glass with just a splash of whiskey left inside.

Lee sighed, “So, you found my whiskey.” He threw his keys in the ball that sat on the coffee table. Then, he removed his hat and jacket, hanging them on the coat rack. “How was your day-“

“Cut the crap, Lee” she hissed, slamming the glass on the coffee table. “You know I heard about it. About you seein’ that girl.”

“When did she become ‘that girl’. You was best friends once upon a time. When did y’all stop being friends?” Lee asked rhetorically, pretending to think on it for a second, “oh, that’s right. When you masterminded your way into my life and left her with nothing and nobody.”

“Oh no, baby. We weren’t friends the second you two started datin’. She just didn’t know it, yet. And it was you who left her heart broken and alone. I wanted you and you wanted power. We’re a fuckin match made in HELL, BABY!”

“CHOOSIN’ YOU OVER HER WAS THE WORST MISTAKE I EVER MADE!” Lee shouted. “We’re both SO GODDAMN HAPPY, NOW, ain’t we.” He huffed, feeling his heartache when he thought about y/n being alone all this time and not being able to be there for her.

“You made your bed, Lee. Know one forced you to do anything.” Laura-Jean took a drag from her cigarette and wiped away the same tears that fell every night.

Lee loved Y/n more than he ever loved anyone in his entire life, but at the time he thought he loved his job more. When he heard she’d skipped town he was devastated. Devastated that she left, of course, but more devastated that he’d created a situation to where she felt she had to leave. Lee hid his feelings well in public but behind closed doors he was a complete mess without her.

When he heard she was back in town, he wasted no time in going over to see her. He wanted her to open the door and greet him like nothing had ever happened. He wanted her to leap into his arms and kiss him so softly, so tenderly like she used too. Things definitely didn’t go as planned.. either time he’d seen her.

The problem was, Lee had worked so hard to get where he was and to give it all away for Y/n? He just wasn’t sure he was ready for that. He loved her with every inch of his crooked heart. He knew deep down that she’s the only one for him and not even Laura-Jean could take that away.

Laura-Jean dubbed out her cigarette before coming face-to-face with Lee, “I don’t wanna hear about you talkin to that girl again. Am I clear?” She snarled that ugly snarl he’d grown to hate.

“Trust me, I’m sure she doesn’t wanna talk to me anyhow.” He sighed and picked up the crystal glass to finish off what remained of the liquor inside.

//

“It’s going to be okay, Mrs. Huckleberry. I’ll head home right now and call the station. Those scoundrels won’t get away with this.” You grinned, walking your elderly neighbor up to her front door before heading back home.

Nothing says welcome home like a smashed in mailbox. At least nine of your neighbors, including you, got their mailboxes bashed. You weren’t too torn up over it; it probably needed replacing anyways. To seem more neighborly,though, than your momma ever was at least, you decided you’d make the call to the police station for all the mailbox victims.

To no avail, the line was busy, probably more than just your neighborhood that got hit. So, you decided to go to the station before work. You’d make a quick statement and get out of there as quickly as possible to avoid any more contact with Lee.

It only took you 20 minutes to walk to the stations from your house. You looked nice considering you’d be heading to work right after this. You wore a fitting, brown skirt with a matching blazer, matching shoes and a white, cotton turtleneck underneath. Your cat eye glasses sat perfectly against the bridge of your nose and you decided today was an updo kind of day.

Just like when you went to the grocery store, everyone was watching you as you walked into the station. You went up to the secretary and cleared your throat when she didn’t acknowledge your presents.

“Sheriff’s not here.” She said never even looking up.

You sighed, “I’m not looking for the Sheriff. I need to talk to someone about my whole neighborhood getting our mailboxes smashed in.”

She smacked her gum, “mhmm.” She flipped through the magazine in front of her, still ignoring every advance you’d made.

“Gosh you know, It’s my first day as a secretary,too, I hope I’m at least as half as good as you are.” You give her the fakest smile you could muster.

She finally looked up, still smacking her gum, “It ain’t my first day.”

“Oh, sweetie, I’m not meanin’ to insulate ya.” You poured your lips, “Now, I’m just tryin to get what I need so I can be on my merry way. You can help me with that, can’t ya?” You nodded your head, frowning down at her as your voice carried a patronizing tone.

She scoffed before standing up from her chair, “Follow me.” She led you to one of the back offices where you saw an old friendly face.

“Karl?” You beam

He looked up and immediately wore the friendliest grin you’d seen in days.

“My my my, I heard you was back in town.” He stood from his chair and walked over to you, “Look at you. You don’t look any different from the day you left. Besides the tears and all.” He giggled.

“Too soon.” You said with a smile as you punched him in the shoulder.

“Well, what can I do you for? Unless you really did just come here to catch up.”

You bit your cheek, “No. I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t know you was a police officer, now, or I would’ve come by.”

“Well, I am the Sheriff’s best friend, of course he’d want me to be his right hand man.” He frowned, knowing the effect even his name would have on you, let alone his title. You’d honestly hoped he’d ditched him as a friend after everything that happened between the two of you. But Lee was his best friend. You couldn’t blame him for having a shitty guy for a friend. He and Lee were like brothers, it was stupid of you to think you’d change any of that.

You cleared your throat, only to break the silence, “Right, um, I need to report something. Me and a few of my neighbors got our mailboxes smashed in.”

He nodded, I’ll get the paperwork ready, please, have a seat.”

The filing cabinet wolfed open as he searched for the paperwork. Once he found it, he came back to his desk, filled out the form and highlighted where you needed to sign, dated and write your statement.

“I also need the names of your neighbors that got hit. Lee and I’ll go by later and get their statements.”

You hummed, “great.” Nothing pleased you more than to know Lee would be in your neighborhood again. Before you could dwell on it, Karl spoke again.

“You know, I’ve missed the hell outta you.” He grinned.

“Oh yeah?” You smiled, peeking up through your eyelashes before looking back down to finish your statement.

“Of course. Outta every girl Lee dated, you were my favorite. Laura-Jean’s just… a frigid bitch.” You giggled at his honesty.

“Well, I can’t say I feel bad for him. He got what was comin to’em.”

He chuckled, “Ah, hell, you ain’t wrong. I rung his neck for what he did to you. Toldl’em to go after you.”

Your heart sunk. Someone told Lee to come for you and he chose not to? You thought it’d just been because he didn’t know where you were, but by the way Karl’s telling it, he did know. He knew the whole time and just didn’t give enough of a shit about you, or your feelings for that matter, to go after you.

You couldn’t help your curiosity, “W-why didn’t he?”

“Stubborn. I- look I’ll tell you this but if you tell anyone I’ll deny it.”

“Just tell me, Karl.” Your heart was pounding and you weren’t certain as to why, yet. Maybe you were still holding onto hope that your Lee wasn’t gone. That under that hard shell your sweet, charming, wonder Lee was just waiting for you to bring him back to life.

“Laura-Jean don’t let him drink ‘cause all he does is talk about you. Sayin’ how much he misses you and lettin’ you go was the biggest mistake of his life. I pulled him over twice when he’s drunk out of his mind, but.. I think he’s on his way to you. I never asked though.”

You sat there, your mouth suddenly dry. How were you supposed to respond to this? Lee had been nothing but rude to you since the second you got back into town and now this. Now you truly did know he was just as messed up as you were. You hid the tiny smile that tried to crack through your trembling lips. He was just as messed up as you were.

For so long you’d blocked out all your happy memories with Lee and as you sat there trying not to grin like an idiot, the memories all came flooding back. Every kiss, every touch, every look, every groan and grunt, every ‘I love you’; everything. Your Lee was always glowing and happy, with a smile that made butterflies fly around in your belly every time you saw it. Your Lee was a cool summer breeze on a hot day; smooth and welcoming. Your Lee was the first snow in winter; surprising and astonishingly breathtaking. Your Lee was your Lee. But that’s it.

The Lee you came home to was an entirely different man, one you’d never met before. Now, instead of a crisp winter morning he was a harsh winter night; frigid and brutal. This thought made the butterflies disappear in your belly and the almost-grin to completely fade.

“I- I finished my statement.” Is all you could say. You were done talking about Lee.

Karl frowned, “Alright,” he said, taking the paper as you stood. “Well, hey, you’re welcome to stop by anytime. I really did miss you, Y/n.”

You gave him a soft smile in return, “Thank you, Karl. That means a lot, but you know I’m gonna avoid this place like the plague.”

He chuckled, “Fair enough.”

You said goodbye and headed back towards the front of the station. You got your usual glares as you walked through the lobby and to the door, but nothing mattered right now. Your heart was once again in pain. Having drudged up all those beautiful memories with a man you so loathed was killing you from the inside out. You wanted nothing more than to forget him and coming back to town surely was not helping you with that. A car pulled up as you walked with your head down. You didn’t look up to see who was driving, you just dodged and waved, trying to find your way back to the sidewalk.

“Y/n, wait!” Lee called from behind you. Before you could even think to keep walking you turned and looked at him as he stood by the cruiser. Your breath hitched in your throat and you cursed under your breath.

“What?” You asked, folding your arms.

“I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I don’t know what came over me and I feel awful about it.”

“I don’t care, Bodecker. But if you wanna make it up to me, you can make sure that I never see your face again while I’m here. I’ve been here three days and I haven’t gone one without seeing your goddamn face. You’re the reason I left but you sure as hell ain’t the reason I came back.” A tear fell down your cheek. Your energy was completely drained by all the events of the morning and you still had work.

“I’m curious, you still like those chocolate shakes down at Ruby's Diner?” He asked, scratching his head.

“Seriously? Did you hear a word that just came out of my mouth, Bodecker?”

“Just answer the damn question, Y/n.”

You sighed, “Yes, okay. I haven’t had one in years though. Not since-“

“Our last date.” He finished for you. He turned on his heels and opened the passenger side door to the cruiser. “Get in.”

“Are you crazy? Why in the hell would I go anywhere with you?” You looked at him in bewilderment.

“Well, I think if we’re gonna coexist in this town, we need to talk and there ain’t no better way to talk than over a chocolate shake from Ruby’s.” He smiled, knowing how much you used to love those shakes.

“I- I can’t. I got work.” You said, looking down at your feet. Everything was telling you to not get in that cruiser, but your heart was practically pulling you to it.

“Where at?” He asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Billy’s auto shop.”

“Ah, hell. You’ll be fine. I’ll drop you off after and explain the whole thing. Please, Y/n, get in the car.”

You sighed as your feet shuffled back and forth. You could just walk away and go to work as planned. You didn’t need an explanation and you really didn’t have to get along with him. You’d only be here a few months and then you’d never have to see him again. But, for some reason, your heart spoke for you before your brain even had time to think.

“Okay.” You whispered and hesitantly walked over to the cruiser; getting just close enough to smell Lee’s fresh aftershave. The second he closed the door your heart sank. We’re you really doing this and why the fuck was it so easy for him to persuade you? You wondered if maybe Karl hadn’t told you what he did then maybe you wouldn’t be here now.

Lee got in the driver's seat and buckled up, “You ready?”

“Yeah.”

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics

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(Dm me to be added to taglist)

[justasimplesinner]

Please for the love of fuck give me a happy ending to the riddler/scarecrow breaking hcs that may or may not start off with the reader running into them again and being understandably pissed. I just want to throw a vase at Eddie. I can have a mature conversation with Johnathan with some raised voices and some crying from both parties but I want to throttle that green goblin lookin motherfucker. I want to see fear in that man's eyes as I curbstomp his stank ass for living in my head and never paying rent. Cause that shit broke me no pun intended.

I'm a soft bitch I need someone to put a bandaid on the hurtie and kiss is to make it feel better.

ugh, you fuckin' softies. continuation of this post

Arkham Knight!Riddler getting his happy ending hcs:

like i stated in the previous post, you two may have not been together anymore, but that didn't mean he'd leave you alone. you were the last bit of his sanity, at this point, he didn't know how to live without you. he was constantly lying to himself and you about the motives behind his calls and visits, but truth was, he was just trying to cling on. he couldn't let you go, you were his raft in the middle of the fucking ocean, if he let you go, he'd... he wouldn't survive that. he didn't know how

but it doesn't mean that this whole thing sat well with you. fucking bastard, neglects you for years, treats you like the very dirt he walks on and now has the gall to fucking invade your private space? ruin you completely? it's like it didn't matter if you were with him or not, he'd still find a way to fucking destroy you. and you, on one hand, genuinely wanted out. you wanted him out of your life, because you had only one and you didn't want to live it in misery, you didn't want to just suffer and take it like a good puppy. you weren't even sure he realised the extent to which he fucking hurt you, because he was constantly focusing on himself and no one else, because selfishness was his coping mechanism and he wouldn't change

it was only logical that at some point, you'd have enough. you didn't want to fucking live like this. he didn't have a right to just sit there and do nothing and yet simultaneously do damage. he was a grown fucking man and it was time he made a grown fucking choice

– Well, well, well, look who decided to finally show up-... – you didn't give him the chance to finish, your fist connecting hard with his nose, or maybe it was his cheek, though you hoped it was his eye so it'd hurt the most. You didn't really know, you didn't really care, you've had fucking enough. You knew he was there, in your house, before he even opened his yapping mouth, and you didn't fancy being greeted in your only safe (or, apparently, not-so-safe) space by a fucking insult from the man responsible for all your current misery.

You didn't feel a pang of regret, quite the contrary, his stumbling form and widened eyes gave you this weird feeling of satisfaction. You kind of understood why Batman did what he did, beating Ed's ass was just too rewarding.

– I've had fucking enough of you and your stupid charade! – you didn't plan on beating around the bush anymore, it was time he was fucking faced with the consequences of what he did.

He didn't have the time to recover from your last blow before the first thing you could grab collided with his shoulder - a vase, apparently, and it shattered into small pieces upon impact. Great, now he fucking ruined your favourite vase, too, as if your life wasn't enough for him!

– You have no right to fucking invade my house and treat me like shit even after I've dumped you! – with every word, with every step you took forward, he took one back, eyes wide in genuine fear as he tried to back away from you, maintain a safe distance, as if anything could save him from your wrath now.

– If I mean nothing to you, then why the fuck are you even here?! Why the fuck do you insist on getting me all tangled up in your stupid games?! I'm not gonna fucking sit here and take it like an obedient pet just because you can't get over the fact that we're not together anymore! – you raged on, and you had no intention of stopping, you watched him back away, you watched him stupidly bump into the side of your couch and fall on his stupid fucking ass. He deserved to fall on the floor, not on a set of nice, comfy pillows. But he had no way out now. He had nowhere to run, not when you fucking rounded up on his shock-still form.

– I-... – he dared to try and interrupt you and it was truly the last straw, it was all you needed to have angry tears blur your vision and your hands clenched in fists again.

– You never even fucking apologized to me for anything either! Did it ever fucking occur to you that if, instead of tormenting me and calling me an idiot, you just fucking said you're sorry, pushed your idiotic pride aside and genuinely fucking said you're sorry, then I would've taken you back?! That maybe we wouldn't be here, in this fucking situation, if you just weren't selfish for once and apologized for all the shit you did to me, all the pain you've put me through-

– I'm sorry. – it was so quiet you almost didn't hear it. So shaky and breathy, so fucking... guilty. Heartbroken. So utterly pathetic. Just like he was, just like he looked. Just like you wanted him to be, but now that he was, you hated it. You hated his glossed over, wide eyes, the shame in them, the guilt, the pain. You hated his arms, slightly risen in a protective manner because he expected another blow. He deserved another one, but... it's like he was just a child then. Just this small, broken boy that was afraid to admit he was wrong, that was afraid of the punishment that awaited for him. And all over again, he made you want to pull him close to your chest and kiss it all better, make it so he'd never experience this pain again. And you hated yourself for it.

you've destroyed the fucking dam then. you haven't heard this man apologize to you once in your entire life, and suddenly, you were swarmed with sorries, with regrets and sorrows and his tears. suddenly, he remembered every smallest thing he ever did that made you upset, and he apologized over and over, for everything and anything, and you thought he was going to suffocate with how he was crying and rambling on your couch

god, he wasn't fucking worth it, you knew that, but suddenly, he was in your arms again, and you were soothing his shaking form, again. you were back there to ground him, to comfort him, to make him feel loved, even if he didn't deserve it. you were there to listen to his - probably empty - promises to change, even though you knew he most likely didn't have the power to change at this point, and god dammit - you believed it. or wanted to believe it. you wanted to believe that maybe you were important and that maybe he will put the effort in changing for you this time as you kissed him breathless and let him cling onto you for dear life. you wanted to believe that he deserved a(nother) second chance and that there was still hope for him as you clung right back. you missed having him right there, in your embrace. despite everything. and maybe you were just plain out stupid, or maybe he truly made a promise he, for once, intended to keep. and honestly? you weren't sure if you were ready to find out

you also apologized for throwing a vase at him. he wasn't mad. if he was, you'd throw another one. he had no right to be mad

Arkham Knight!Jon getting his happy ending hcs:

Jon genuinely thought about seeking you out, hoping that maybe that would give him some closure, that it would make him able to work and function properly again. but he realised how stupid, how selfish and disgusting that was. he swore to himself he won't even fucking force you to look at his ugly mug again. he had no right to come to you, expecting the person he pushed away in order to work to help him get back to work. he didn't fucking deserve to even breathe the same air as you

he kept tabs on you though. he had to know where you lived now, where you worked, and knowing where you were at all times would be ideal too, but he didn't dare go that far as to have someone stalk you. it's not out of some creepy obsession, it's actually out of... concern. sounds ridiculous, especially since he hadn't expressed any concern for you for the past few months, but he... he really didn't want to ever hurt you again. even accidentally. even if you were to be collateral damage. he needed to know the places he could target and the places he couldn't, he needed to know when, where and on who he could test his freshest batches and when, where and on who he couldn't. he hurt you enough. he destroyed your mind enough. he wasn't about to subject you to your worst fears too

but a reunion was inevitable, it seemed. one way or another, fate was bent on bringing you two back together. and so, he missed the fact that you changed your jobs and started working at Ace Chemicals, front desk actually, passing around exactly the information he needed about the company, it's building and resources

You genuinely couldn't believe your fucking eyes. You couldn't believe his cheek. The gall he had to be standing right here, in front of you, in his tattered, dirty "glory", milky eyes seeming wild behind the mask, as if he didn't expect you to be here. As if he hadn't planned it all.

– What are you doing here? – you didn't even have the strength to get angry at him anymore. You just resigned yourself to the fact that he was going to haunt you every single day for the rest of your life, be it in person or as a fleeting thought in your mind. You weren't allowed to get rid of him. You weren't allowed to forget.

– I could be asking you the same question. – his tone was hard to decipher. As if it was emotionless, but at the same time wasn't. Like there was something behind it, something he didn't want you to see. Something he himself wasn't ready to face.

You were already too exhausted mentally to give a shit.

– I work here. – you sighed, using that mocking tone he always used on you whenever you asked "stupid" questions. Funny, how one day he tells you there are no stupid questions and that you can always ask away, that he will always listen, and then treats you like an idiot when you do.

And yet you still loved his sarcasm, loved his quips and biting remarks. This was who he was, and you did, after all, love him as a whole.

– I didn't know that. – you were actually ready to believe that, what with how he was still standing there, practically in the doorway. He didn't round up on you yet, he didn't corner you like you were his prey. Actually, it seemed he thought you were the predator, like he was... scared to come closer.

Maybe that was better for the two of you. Who know what you'd do if he started to come at you like he owned you and this whole place.

– Oh, didn't you now? – you couldn't allow him to know though. It was his turn to get the cold shoulder for once. Not that he cared enough to be hurt by it. Not that he ever cared. About you, about anything. Anything but his work.

Jesus, fuck, you couldn't break down in front of him. You already did in the past. Way too many times. You weren't going to give him the satisfaction of having the upper hand.

– You shouldn't've gotten a job here. – he seemed to feel as if he had it anyway – I work with chemicals on a daily basis and you know I'm planning to gas the entire city, it is only logical for me to take advantage of having a huge chemical factory right in the middle of it. It was obvious I'd come here sooner or later. – every word he said, he took a step closer to the desk. Every word he said, he beat you down into the ground harder. Obviously, you were in the wrong. Yet again. Always your fault. Why would you distract him from his goal yet again? Why would you meddle? It seemed that even if you didn't want to, you proved to be an inconvenience, a chink in the chain that was his research. It didn't matter what you did, it was never going to be good enough.

You two weren't compatible, after all.

– Yep, I'm stupid, I get it. Go on, psychoanalize me too, tell me how I did it knowingly just because I wanted to see you again. – you couldn't stop yourself from snarling at him. As always, he only came to you to break down what you've so carefully built back together. It was always that way, if you really thought about it. Every time you were starting to get used to his absence, starting to truly live on your own, he suddenly appeared, acted like everything was fine, acted like he loved you, and you believed it like the fool you were. You believed it and then he left you alone again. You believed it and then you woke up to an empty bed again. Every single time.

Maybe you really were a fucking idiot.

– And did you? – or maybe he was one, because this comment only resulted in riling you up more and yet he dared to fucking ask.

– I fucking hate you Jon. – you weren't ready to believe that what he just did at your words was flinching. That it hurt enough for him to physically move away. – If I wanted to look at your face again, I'd just turn on the news.

– I don't want to hurt you. – that was bullshit. He never did anything else. Hurting you was what he was best at, and he prided himself in it. – But I need access to the vast supply of chemicals your workplace has to offer. – even when you two fucking argued, it always came down to his work. Even when you told him you hated him, all he offered back was that he didn't care and came here just to get shit done. He didn't even fucking care enough to at least say he hates you back.

– You don't want to hurt me? That's a new one. – you were really tempted to just roll your eyes and go back to work. To ignore him, like he always did to you. But suddenly, you realised just how close he was. Practically leaning over the desk. His scarred face hooded and covered in a mask, hidden away from you. That face you wanted to stare into every time you woke up, that face you wanted to be the last thing you saw every day you went to sleep. That face that you wanted to kiss better, to make him know. Make him know you didn't mind. Make him know he was still handsome as ever. He never believed you, and you saw that. You saw that very clearly in his milky eyes. It's like they were fogged, like his mind was surrounded with fog and blurred reality with imagination, like there was this barrier between the two of you.

It wasn't there at first. But then he changed, and you didn't really know who he was anymore.

– I'm sorry. – it felt like pity. Like he pitied you. Like he was saying it just so you'd shut the fuck up and move out of his way at last.

And maybe it was better if you did.

– Save it. I won't get in the way of your plans, don't worry. I'm not getting paid enough to sacrifice myself for this place either way. – you were gathering your things, leaving the computer on, the information unguarded. You could use a day off, anyway. To cry in peace or whatever.

No such luck apparently, since Jonathan immediately had you in a grip, his fingers flexing against your arms.

– No, (Y/n). I'm sorry.

you really weren't ready for that conversation. not at all. you would never be ready for that. seeing Jon apologizing, hell, seeing him crying, genuinely crying in front of you, over you, wasn't something you ever expected to see. Jonathan, despite being a skilled psychologist, never really talked about his emotions. he was always hellbent on talking through yours - well, at the beginning he was, until the whole "spiralling into his obsession" thing started. then, he stopped, because he didn't have time for you. or, as he now explained, didn't have the courage to face how much he's hurt you. you really wanted to fucking punch him then, when he told you that he knew. that he knew all the time what he was doing, and yet never stopped, as if he purposefully sabotaged your relationship so you'd leave him. you knew he had his problems and you couldn't blame him for that, but you could blame him for running away from them. you could blame him for treating you like shit since he woke up from his short coma after the incident with Killer Croc. hell, he took the blame full on

you've never heard him so... bare. so raw. so vulnerable. when he apologized to you, thanked you for everything you ever fucking did, for always helping him, for sticking by him for that long, for enduring him and showing him how it feels to be loved, he was but a broken man. for the first time in... assumably ever, Jonathan didn't hide behind any walls and just... let the words flow. both of you knew that wasn't enough to compensate for what he did. nothing will ever be enough. he will never give you back everything that he took from you, and your heart will never fully heal. even if you two got back together, he wouldn't resign from his research either, and more likely than not, it was all going to end exactly the same, with him hiding away from you because apparently, acting like he didn't love you saved you from the heartbreak, and you having to mend your broken heart on your own, alone, knowing you will never get all your lost time back. you will never get back the time you spent crying in your home because you knew he wasn't coming. and yet, you - like the idiot you probably were - dived right back in. because you fucking loved him. and maybe it was stupid, and maybe his arms clinging onto you as you kissed him for the first time in months were stupid too, but if being stupid meant being happy, even for just one moment, you were going to take it

Jonathan still had a lot to make up for. you didn't think he will ever manage, honestly. but you were excited to see him try

[nancydfan]

I think that Mia gets too bad of a rap from a lot of people.

Like yes, was she an agent of a super shady organization responsible for making a bio weapon that destroyed a great deal of lives? Yes. However we don’t know her motivation for joining them yet.

They could have lied honestly. Like The Connections could have advertised themselves to be a great, loving work environment and maybe Mia was young and naive and joined them. Or maybe she was desperate for money, and it was the only job that would hire her. Or hell, maybe she fully knew what they were and joined anyway, either on account of her morals being twisted back then or thinking that even though the company was evil maybe she could do good. Who knows, honestly.

Either way, with The Connections being a shady organization there’s like a very high chance that you don’t get to walk away from them alive. I’m sure if you quit they’d see you as a liability and take you out with no mercy. And that’s why I think Mia didn’t leave, because she knew she would be killed if she did, and maybe that’s why she took the job with Eveline, because it was more of a “you will do this or else” than an option for her (whether it was implied by her boss or if they were upfront about what bad things would happen if she didn’t take the job).

And maybe if her morals were twisted before I fully think meeting and falling in love with Ethan changed her if that was the case, because the Mia we see in RE7 and RE8 is a good person. We see that in how when the Baker’s rescue her she thanks them but tries to leave immediately and tries to warn them about staying away from Eveline (as shown in the note she left in the dlc “Daughters”). She could have tried to get them to call the hospital or her company but she didn’t, because she knew that she was under Eveline’s control and the longer she stayed there the more danger the family was. If she was a shitty person she wouldn’t have done this, she would have done everything she could to save herself.

We also see that in how she leaves a final video note for Ethan, telling him to stay away no matter what, because she didn’t want him to get dragged down in her mess. She knows how much Ethan loves her and I’m sure she knows if she sent a video saying “Ethan pls help” he’d come running for her, but she didn’t because she loves him and wants him to live even if she can’t be there with him. We see it AGAIN when she saves Ethan from Eveline’s grasp, when she tears him from the mold thing he was in and pushes him out so Eveline couldn’t hurt him. Fully knowing she’d have to face Eveline’s wrath.

And for everyone saying “why didn’t she just tell him then” I mean think about it. I think if this super shady organization found out someone they didn’t hire knew what was going on they’d kill them because again they’d be a liability and a threat. And that’s why she doesn’t tell Ethan because she doesn’t want him to be targeted and killed by them. I think if she had the opportunity she would have left The Connections but knows that it would result in her death anyway, and telling Ethan the truth would just end in his death if they found out and it was too risky in her mind.

And I think it’s this same form of protection that prevents her from telling Ethan he’s infected. She says (or at least we can assume that this was her) in Donna’s section that she didn’t tell him because she was afraid she’d lose him. I don’t think he’d divorce her if he found out he was molded (that doesn’t really make sense for his character), I think she was genuinely afraid he’d die (again) or worse begin to transform into a monster the way the rest of the infected did. And that’s why she keeps it hidden because she was scared to death he’d die or suffer a worse fate. Am I saying she was right in hiding it? No, but I think that everyone saying she’s manipulative and gaslighting are wrong because she truly loves Ethan and Rose, and I know she’d give her life gladly if it meant they could live.

I saw other people get mad because Rose is essentially being used as a bio weapon and how could Mia let this happen and I’m like?? She probably doesn’t have a say?? I mean yes Blue Umbrella is supposed to be “the good guys” now but like they’re still a huge organization, I’m sure Mia did her best to prevent this from happening and keep Rose safe but like at the end of the day what can she really do against a huge company?? If anything get mad at Chris because I’m sure he’s got some clout or something in that company that could have allowed Rose to live a normal life without Umbrella or maybe not being used as a weapon but idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ a lot of people were like “Mia’s sO annoying at the beginning of the game” but fam that wasn’t even her?? That’s Miranda?? Besides even if it was Mia that blew up on Ethan in the hospital (as per Ethan’s diary) 1.) people deal with trauma differently, and I’m not saying it’s healthy but she’s scarred and doing her best and 2.) probably was afraid if they talked too much about Louisiana Ethan would realize he was infected and then BAM he’s either dead or a mutated monster. And in the cutscene of Mia saying “you matter!” Can you imagine the stress of knowing your husband is Mr Mold Man and not being able to do anything about it, out of fear of what could happen to him? Like of course she’s upset and going to blow when provoked (not that Ethan was aggressive or anything just that he was prying into a very high pressure soda that is Mia’s emotions lol) because she’s been bottling this up and has no one to talk to, and after a while anyone would explode. I think she would have told him if he hadn’t answered that call. Also marriage is not rainbows and butterflies, sometimes you get into messy fights with your partner and sometimes you or the other person say things you don’t mean but at the end of the day you love each other and try to be better. If anything Capcom was depicting a normal marriage tbh.

At the end of the day Mia is not the bad guy. She is only human who tried her best to keep her family safe against all the odds and idc what anyone says, Ethan and Mia love each other and have a healthy relationship and that’s that.

I hope I do this ask justice cause this is the kinda ask I’ve been like hoping for cause you are absolutely gosh damn right.

I’m a chill person & I’m never gonna probably get up into someone’s face about anything cause it’s fandom. I’m not here to cater your experience. That being said, when I see some of these frankly bad takes on Mia I’m like

We know Jack shit about why Mia joined the Connections. Literally nothing so people who have a whole solidified nasty opinion of Mia should probably just sit down. You don’t have to like her. But you also could like, idk, be absolutely dead wrong cause lol Capcom went, yeah we’re not gonna explain any of that.

I got the impression that in between re7 and re8 that they are hiding from the connections too but I may have misunderstood that In re8. I think it makes sense it’s the type of organization you do not leave. No matter how badly you want to and once Ethan came along, do people really think she’d risk him? Spoiler alert: no, no she wouldn’t.

Also, re7 started w Alan. He’s the one that let eveline get out of control so...I feel like people forget that.

I’ve been talking to a friend about people using the Miranda Mia against the real Mia and I don’t know how to kindly tell people that the game kinda absolutely explained that’s not Mia? I do think Mias got a temper which makes sense because Ethan is so even tempered that he can balance her out better. But Miranda Mia was a fuckin bitch. She was needling Ethan’s pain and mocking him. Do people think Ethan sat around for three years taking that? Ethan’s a big boy. He can take care of himself. He was even fighting back w Miranda Mia so manipulative and abusive takes belong in the toilet w the rest of the shit.

Mia blowing up at Ethan means nothing. My parents have proven to me marriage is not easy. You will lose it on people when emotions run high. It happens. There’s a world of difference between a moment of anger versus abuse. But you still love and forgive people for moments of anger because we all have them. And I’m sure Ethan can be just as much as a pain in the ass. I love him more than most and I’d be the first person to admit I’m sure he didn’t make it easy all the time either.

Mia held the truth from Ethan because she was scared not just for her but for him too. It’s a selfless kind of lie. We all do them so I don’t know why Mia is getting burned at the stake for it. I’m just not movable on this. That was a heavy thing to carry and she was doing her best.

As for Rose, I don’t even know what Capcom is doing. How can anyone else know? She’s special and powerful. Maybe she wanted that life? I think we can reserve judgement until re9.

Like I said above, no one has to like Mia. Maybe you don’t vibe w her or maybe you still just don’t care for her. That’s cool. But my gosh don’t lie about the kind of person she is. If you can’t acknowledge her world and heart belongs to Ethan and Rose, I’m just not sure what to tell you.

Sorry for ranting on your ask nonnie 😆 I really appreciate that you sent this in! It needed said imo