#but i also dont want to wake myself up in the shower and not fall asleep until 1:30.. which ive been trying to stop staying up that late..

[toastsnaffler]

tried going to bed early bc ive just been sitting staring at the wall or my phone all afternoon but it's been 3 hours now and I can't stop crying. :(

[i99zhuo]

A routine inspired by thewizardliz ? She has skin care hair care routine reads motivating books

How to live like thewizardliz 🧚🏼‍♀️🪄⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ quit your lazy girl era!

This is a guide on daily routines inspired by Thewizardliz! This routine is perfect to stop being lazy and pathetic and finally start taking care of yourself!

content list (routines):

morning

study

workout

shower + self care

night

(_ _ ) . . z Z⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚୨ :★: ୧ ∗  ˖࣪ ໒꒱  ˚₊·

✸ ꒰ morning routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

🧼 First things first, after you wake up make sure to drink water to boost your metabolism throughout the day! Also, create a mind movie so you can watch it everyday after you wake up.

Now, take your journal and start writing about your dream, ideal higher self, ask yourself questions like ‘What reality do i want to create?´ 'Who do i look up to?’ ‘What is the behavior I need to change about myself?’ ‘What's a new habit that I would like to create?’ ‘What is a thing I can focus on right now?’. After we have in mind who we want to become, it's important that every little decision you make today is centered to achieve your goals, and become your dream self. You can listen to a podcast while doing this so you get motivation!

💶 Then, head to the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror and start repeating positive affirmations, such as ‘I am so beautiful’ or ‘My hair looks so pretty today’, even if you don't believe it, having a positive mindset is going to help us to stay in track with our goals!

Take care of your teeth, Liz says that our smile is one of the most important things in a person, and one of the key things that is going to make you more attractive! so, make sure to brush your teeth, floss, clean your tongue, etc.

🛣 Liz has a rather simple skincare routine, since her skin is so sensitive, it only consists of using a foam cleanser, moisturizer and eye cream to help with her eye bags.

Next step is to research and find our own personal clothing and makeup style, find out your body type, personal color, face shape, etc. It doesn't matter if you have to mix multiple styles that already exist to make your own! The most important thing is to feel comfortable while wearing those clothes or having that type of makeup on your face.

🏔 Liz doesn't like to force herself to have breakfast, she just dont eat if she's not hungry, however if you are hungry rather than focusing on calories focus on how nutritious your meal is. Whatsoever if you are not hungry and you are not going to eat, make sure to always take your vitamins and supplements!

✸ ꒰ study routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

Yes, it's time to drink a little more water!

⛰ Liz doesn't have a settled study routine but, it's important to spend our time wisely, if you can finish an assignment way before the time it's due, DO IT! Also, she emphasized that knowledge leads to confidence. If you put effort in your studies, every little thing in your life will slowly fall into place.

✸ ꒰ workout routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

First, set healthy goals, like toning up your body or building muscle, try not to make ‘just being skinny’ your goal.

🧩 second, don't measure yourself with a scale or measuring tape and focus on how you look in the mirror, are you satisfied? if you are then you are done with the intense workout routine!

Liz goes to the gym and has her own personal training program, but here’s some kind of exercises she recommends; weight training, pilates and dancing with her main focus being toning up her abs and butt.

🏄‍♀️ Remember to drink water and that consistency is more important than perfection, go at your own pace, it doesn't matter if you can't do a 2 hour workout and look snatched in 3 days and you can only do a 5 minute workout, every little effort adds up!

✸ ꒰ shower and self care routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

Before showering, do dry brushing to exfoliate your skin and increase circulation (1-2 times per week). Then use shampoo and conditioner, research to find the best one for you, what may help others won't help you. Liz also uses a hair mask 1 to 2 times per week to get that shiny silk hair.

🎾 After showering take some time to shape and pluck your eyebrows depending on your face shape and what impression you want to give! 

Liz uses face masks 1 to 2 times per week to cleansing her face deeply, then she does her skincare. After applying all the products do a lymphatic massage on your face and neck, you can also cool down your face with massagers or cold spoons for an extra depuff.

🍾 For self care, you can journal again, search for shadow work prompts, think of what things you should unlearn and relearn and don't forget to practice gratitude. Or you can take time to clean your room or house, you deserve to have a clean safe place! 

Oh! and don't forget to drink water again.

✸ ꒰ night routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

🧃 Time for dinner! (only if you are not full yet), again, make sure to focus on nutrients rather than calories. Don't forget to drink a glass of water with your dinner. You can watch a documentary while eating to keep gaining even more knowledge.

Now, do your oral hygiene routine again. Also, put on eyelash conditioner and serum to wake up with perfect lashes! Then wear a silk cap or do a protective hairstyle to protect your hair from getting damaged while you're sleeping.

🍵 Then get in bed and drink a cup of tea with collagen to start relaxing your body. and it's finally time to manifest! watch your mind movie again and use your most useful method (affirming visualizing, subliminals, etc.), don't forget to ask god, the universe or whatever you believe in for signals and help!

Afterwards, you can read an inspirational book like ‘atomic habits’ or ‘the art of thinking clearly’ to keep nourishing your brain. keep a reachable goal like reading 5 pages everyday and then decide if you want to continue reading or not.

🥬 Before sleeping listen to a guided meditation, liz have one to be more confident and one to attract money, choose one that aligns with your goals!

Finally fall asleep in a healthy sleeping position, Liz sleeps in her back looking at the roof, but you can choose your favorite position, don't forget to get a pillow that fits the position (example: tall and lofty pillow -> for sleeping on your side)

🍈 Good night!

Woah second request done!! hope you liked this one was pretty fun to do and I might add some of these things in my own personal routine so I don't fall back into laziness, anyways how about you guys??

toodlezzzz!1!!!!!

[bxeckersz]

your child is kicking my ass | Paige Bueckers x pregnant reader

summary: y/n is feeling bad while paige is at practice

warnings: language, pain

a/n: ive been obsessed w paige x pregnant reader so here is this 😭😭.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I feel like shit. I’ve been having contractions all day, it’s hot, and on top of that, Paige has been gone all day. I groan as I pull my phone out to text Paige.

wife 🤞💞💍

baby where r u

paigey 💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

im at practice still y? do u need anything?

wife🤞💞💍

im having contractions again

and i miss u

and im hungry

and its hot

and i feel like shit

and ive been throwing up all day

your daughter is kicking my ass

paigey 💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

chipotle or wing stop

wife🤞💞💍

huh?

paigey 💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

im omw home, chipotle, wing stop, or do you want something else?

wife 🤞💞💍

chipotle

wait Geno let you leave?

paigey 💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

yeah i told him you were feeling bad

wife🤞💞💍

baby you should’ve stayed at practice

read 5:37 pm

I roll my eyes, throwing my phone back down. Paige has the tendency to leave practice if i text her. I turn on the TV to watch something to distract myself in the meantime. I drift off to sleep while watching.

“Hey, baby” I hear gently, waking me up. “hm” I hum, sitting up. I look up to see Paige standing there in her practice clothes with a chipotle bag and her gym bag in one hand and multiple bags in the other.

“Paige” I whine, immediately feeling the pain as i get up. “What’s wrong, baby?” Paige says, dropping her bags and running up to me. “It just- it just hurts” I groan, going back to sit down.

“Sit down, baby. I got it, don’t get up” Paige soothes, sitting me back down. “I got snacks and Chipotle. I also found this heating pack thing- the girl helped me find it because i was lost” Paige rambles with a smile on her face.

“Thank you, baby” I say, quietly. “you’re welcome” Paige says, setting the things out in front of me. “You wanna go in the room?” Paige asks me. “mhm” I nod.

“okay, are you sure you can walk?” Paige asks. “Yes, Paige.” I sigh, walking into the room as Paige follows behind with everything in hand.

“Okay, ima go take a shower and you can find a movie” Paige says, setting everything down. “Mhm” I nod as Paige walks into the bathroom.

A couple minutes later Paige walks back in the room, putting on some boxers and a sports bra. “Did you find a movie?” Paige asks, kissing my cheek and laying next to me.

“Yeah, but I didn’t wanna start it without you” I whisper, showing her the movie. “Here’s your food” Paige says, handing me a burrito bowl. “And I got you ice cream, chips, cookies, candy, and drinks” She finishes, pulling the things out the bag.

“Thank you, baby. I love you” I say, pressing a small kiss on her lips. “mhm, I love you too” Paige says, starting the movie.

“It’s called 5 Feet Away” I say, eating my food. “mm” paige nods, watching the movie as she cuddles against me.

☆

“ow” I groan. It’s 11 pm, Paige is sleeping and her daughter won’t leave me alone. “hm?” Paige stirs.

“shit. Ow” I say, tearing up. “What’s wrong, baby?” Paige says, sitting up. “It- it hurts baby. really bad” I cry, gripping the sheet in pain. “here, take this” Paige says, handing me a pain pill.

“shit” I groan. “It’s oaky, baby” Paige soothes, rubbing my back. I don’t know what hits me but i feel emotional all of a sudden. “Paige, what if i’m a bad mom” I cry.

“Baby, you’re gonna be a great mom. I promise” Paige says, wiping my tears. “but-“ I start before Paige cuts me off.

“Y/n you’re gonna be such a good mom, okay?” Paige says, more directly now. I nod while sniffing. “Cmon, let’s go back to bed” Paige whispers, pulling me into her carefully.

“I love you” I whisper into her neck. “I love you too” Paige whispers back as we fall back asleep.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Thanks for reading! the ending was totally rushed but thats wtv 😭😭. also i literally dont know what this title is..

[writersblockended]

Miguel O’Hara - HC

Warnings: no translated Spanish, other than that none??? Just fluff

Miguel O’Hara x reader

First of all that man is extremely romantic

He comes off as a serious man but did you see how he’s able to get bat shit crazy like he did for miles?

So he’s 100% capable of feeling intense emotions and SHOWS it. He’s got no problem with it

So he will shower you with gifts, sugar daddy style

One day you’ll see something in your closet or outside your door and think…I’ve never bought this before did i?

Honestly it didn’t take much to put two and two together, so you would just ask him about it

“Miguel, what did I tell you about buying me things, I’m not gonna have enough space for everything at some point you know?”

“I don’t dont know what you’re talking about.”

You’ll just roll your eyes, he’s never going to learn is he?

He is also jealous, but not controlling

He respects you and trusts you, but he doesn’t trust others

So if you’re in HQ to visit him and you find yourself talking to the different spidermen…

Hobie would be talking to you about politics and the importance of unions for workers, you would animatedly reply

And then walks Miguel…he saw you both and he knew you were going to surprise him

But he couldn’t help but feel jealous

Why couldn’t you go straight to him?

I think those feelings of jealousy come from his fear of losing people

You turn around and see Miguel, you smile

“Hey babe, cómo estás mi amorcito? Te quise sorprender pero ya veo que ya me viste”

“Hola, i see you two are talking, but that can wait. Ven contigo amor.”

You follow him to his lair (or rlly was is it …an office?)

And you go “okay what is it, did you need anything?”

“No, I just wanted you for myself.”

This makes you laugh, honestly Hobie is harmless and Miguel knows this. But he can’t help but feel threatened

He just wants you for himself really.

He’s also a huge cuddle bug, but he doesn’t show his affection in public. He doesn’t have an image to maintain doesn’t he?

At HQ he won’t kiss you unless everyone’s distracted, or he’ll have you sit on his lap while no one’s around.

Honestly it’s so easy to take naps while he’s working on things, those arms are quite literally pillows.

But at home? Oh my god, he’s like him stuck to your hair on a hot day

He will drop that persona and just simply attach himself to you and the nearest piece of furniture.

He will kiss you up and want to lay in bed so he’s fully on you

Sometimes he will fall asleep on you entirely, and he will wake up in the middle of the night panicking thinking he’s hurt you with his huge body

“No te hecho nada no mi amor? Fuck you should’ve told me I fell asleep on you babe”

“Oh my god Miguel you act as if you’ weight a ton, besides it’s no big deal”

He’s honestly such a worrier with you, he just wants you to be happy with him, so sometimes he will overanalyze every aspect of his relationship and you can see the gears turning everytime

Thats when you’ll reassure him and let him know he’s doing great, that he’s an amazing man who should not feel as if you are going to leave him. That simply won’t happen.

He also loved it when you take care of him, mostly bc he’s neglecting himself and it feels good to have someone do that for you u know?

If you give him a massage after a particular long day or tend to his wounds if he’s injured

He will just look at you with these loving glazed eyes and he will just melt under your touch

He acts tough but inside he’s like melted butter, softest guy you will ever meet.

He’s actually so emotional, he’s just good at hiding it

So if you guys argue, he’s upset and will look cranky at work

Once he gets home he sees you and your cold gaze and he will absolutely beg on his knees for your forgiveness, it makes you feel bad instantly, so you forgive him

All in all, your relationship with him is super stable and loving.

So yea this is me attempting to write after two years 😭🫣

Let me know if you guys like it cus idk I’m thinking of going back to writing fanfics and drabbles and all that good stuff ;)

Requests are open!!

[jackmanbj]

single

AN: this is my first angst fic, enjoy, also this has two parts.🫀

summary: jack has been telling you to wait for him to be ready in a real relationship but likes to fuck other girls and gets mad when you talk to another dude.

you and jack had just got back to the hotel after his performance.

jack was beyond exhausted, he just wanted to lay down in your arms and fall asleep to you whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

jack got into the shower with you following behind him.

“jackie, when are you going to commit to me..?”

“baby please, you known i love you, we can talk about this tomorrow im so fucking tired i can barely stand up..”

“ok baby i dont want to stress you, lets just go to bed, ok.”

you both finished washing off and went to lay down.

you laid on the bed while jack climbed on top of you.

jack didnt take long to fall asleep, you sighed feeling lonely, sure you were seeing jack, but it didnt feel like it.

jack would go out to clubs every other night and be kissing girls, hell sometimes maybe even fucking them, you never knew when it came to him.

you let your mind shut off as you fell asleep scratching jacks hair with your acrylic nails.

the next morning by the time you woke up, jack was gone.

you sighed and checked the time before getting up and heading to brush your teeth.

you found jacks dirty clothes on the floor by his bag, you picked then up getting a plastic bag and placing them in until you could wash them.

you heard your phone ringing and went to go answer it.

*incoming call from stinka💕*

you answered and heard urban in the background taking to what sounded like ace.

“yea jack?”

“im so sorry i left before you could wake up, the boys wanted to go out and i didnt want to wake you, i just wanted to call and let you know where i was.”

“its fine babe, have fun”

“thank you mamas, love you.”

“love to too.”

jack hung up and started cuddling up to the girl who obviously knew he was talking to someone, but didnt care as he talked to his friends.

“dude you gotta either commit to y/n or break it off with her, you’ve been leading her on for the longest.”

“urban just give me time.. i want her i just dont know when i want to commit.”

“their is no way you want her honestly, you have been with two other girls since the one from last night!”

“fuck i just need time, im going see y/n.”

urban looked at jack with nothing but disappointment, jack had always claimed he didnt like toxic relationships, he just wanted one girl to love on forever.

it was all for an image, jack wanted anybody who would fuck him.

jack loved you though, he knew he loved you, you knew he loved you, hell everybody knew.

well everybody who wasn’t the public.

jack didnt hide the fact he was actively going in and out of relationships or getting ready to commit.

he loved the attention he would get from women wanting to get under your skin, even if they didnt know you, they wanted you to know jack was cheating on you and he loved the adrenaline it gave him, hell if it was up to him he would date you in an one way open relationship, he could fuck whoever while your the house wife of the decade.

jack pulled up to the hotel and went in to find a not with your handwriting on the island that said

“im going treat myself, i went to get my hair done, nails done, and i might go to hang out at a club or something. i dont know if you’re going to be back before me so i wrote this. love you lots see you later.”

jack sighed knowing you probably took his card and there would be a lot less money from before.

jack called you and it went straight to voicemail, he went to text you and seen you were ok dnd, he texted you and pressed noti anyway.

stinka💕- call me back love

you huffed and looked at the message and seen jacks name, you were getting your toes done so your hands were free and you called him back.

“yes babe?”

“did you take my cards?”

“yea, of course.”

“you didnt even ask me what the fuck.”

“jack baby, i just wanted to have time to myself, all i did was get my nails done so far, i can cancel everything else if its that big of a deal.”

“its fine i just..never mind, have a good day my girl, enjoy yourself.”

“thank you jack.”

you finished your nails and went to the store to grab some snacks for while you get your hair done.

while you were in the store a man with freeform’s approached you

“hey ma’am you mind if i pay for your things?”

“uhm thanks but you dont have to really!”

“please?”

“yes sure, thanks so much.”

“no problem.”

the man paid and as you were walking out he stopped you again.

“hey uhm, i was wondering.. can i have your number.”

“yes sure.”

the man quickly took out his phone and saved his number as ‘Warren’

you took your phone back and headed out the store walking to your car getting ready for the appointment.

you started driving and jack called you.

you answered the phone through the car screen not wanting to pick up your phone.

“yes jack? im driving, cant really talk.”

“why were you at the store so long? you ok?”

“yes im fine this dude asked yo pay for my things thats all.”

“did you let him?”

“yes why wouldn’t i?”

“man what the fuck? your out with my card and letting another man buy your shit? i bet he was just trying to get your number.”

“her put his number in my phone, im probably just going to be his friend dont want to lead him on.”

jack didnt say another word, he just hung up and your music started blasting.

you knew the phone didn’t disconnect because jack let out a puff before hanging up.

once you were done with all your appointments and having your day out you went back to the hotel with a few shopping bags hanging on your arm as you sucked your strawberry smoothie.

you dropped your bags off on the island and went to the bedroom ready to show off your hair and nails and make it up to jack.

when you walked in jack was making out with another girl who simply smiled at you before rubbing jack through his pants.

usually you had the mindset “its almost never the secret girls fault, if she didn’t know. if she did, beat that hoe ass.”

and thats what you did.

you set your smoothie down acting calm and went to the bathroom.

jack not knowing what you were going to do, he continued wanting to get under your skin.

you walked out the bathroom with your hair in a bun and immediately ran to punch the girl in the face.

she tried her hardest to fight back while you just were beating on her.

jack let you get your anger out on her so it wouldn’t be as bad on him but after about forty seconds he pulled you off, she girl not wanting to fight back.

jack told the girl get out while holding you to his chest.

“what no! you love me! you told me that jack!!”

“ok i lied, get out. i have to take care of my little princess.”

“fine.” she tried to put her clothes on but you picked up her shirt and got out of jacks grip, she ran after you for her shirt and you threw it out the door.

“fetch.”

the girl groaned and put her shirt on in the hall and waited for jack to bring her phone ect out.

jack placed it into your hands to give to her and you threw her things on the ground.

you slammed the door and all your anger now went towards jack.

you started walking up to him and were about to punch his face but he caught your arm.

you couldn’t help but get so mad to the point you cried, you were sick of getting treated like this, you were sick of getting humiliated, sick of jack saying “i loved you” to three different people other then you in one day.

jack pulled you to his chest and let you cling to his while you let it all out.

jack led you to the bedroom as you stopped crying.

“i love you baby..”

“no you dont.”

“if i didn’t i wouldn’t be with you, i love you.. just need time to express it and get ready to commit because i only want you.”

“jack i cant do this, im getting a plane ticket home for tomorrow, im not moving out but ill be in the guest room, until you can prove to me that you love me and stop bring all these women in your life. i cant, i love you but i cant.”

you started packing your things while jack couldn’t help but watch and cry.

he did love you.

but he loved to many other people to commit to you.

you left the room not sure where else to go except urbans room.

urban let you in with warm hugs and let you stay in the main room while he took the sofa.

you flew back the next day and jack wouldn’t stop texting you.

stinka💕- text me when you get home love, have a safe flight.

stinka💕- its been 4 hours, i know your home call me please.

stinka💕- mamas, i know you’re extremely upset with me and so exhausted because of everything i’ve put you through this year, but i love you. even if i cant show it right now, ma i love you. you know i do, i’ll be better for you i promise i will but i need you to call me so i know your safe, or text me even just a period. something please i need to know your okay. i know i messed up but i need you.

you- im fine jackman.

you turned your phone on dnd and laid down and started to watch childhood shows.

there was a knock at the front door, you took the blanket off yourself and went up to look out the window.

there was no one but flowers on the floor.

you huffed and went to get the flowers already knowing who sent them.

you put the flowers in a empty vase and read the note.

“y/n, i love you so much you dont even know. im so sorry for all the pain i’ve caused you, i just want you to forgive me. i’ll change my ways all the way, i want you to be happy and i haven’t been making you happy its my fault, instead of talking things out with you i go see other women and leave you alone to sleep by yourself, i’ll see you soon though my love♥️”

you kissed the note and brought it to your bedroom and put it on your nightstand.

you took your phone off dnd and called jack.

jack answered on the first ring and you immediately heard a sniffle when he answered.

“jack baby are you crying?”

“no.”

“jack baby face time me.”

jack pressed the face time button after wiping his face trying to look as presentable as possible.

you answered and could immediately tell he had been crying.

“jack babe, dont cry. i love you so much you’re stuck with me. you just have to stop acting the way you are, its hurting me really bad and its pushing me from you.”

“i promise to stop, mamas i need you..”

“ok babe, its not very smart for me to fly back out right now because i just left so maybe in like a week ill come back.”

“what no, come back tomorrow im getting your ticket right now.”

“jack-“

“i already brought it, you’re coming.”

“alright babe..”

“no ones going to get in the way of us anymore, we’re together forever. i love you.”

“forever and always?”

“forever and always, but you need some rest, goodnight my love the flights for 7:30.”

“ok goodnight jackie.”

jack hung up and cuddled with his pillow wishing it was you.

[thedisablednaturalist]

Just being around my family stresses me out. Which in turn causes my pain levels to rise. Everyone is so nasty to each other. I can't ask for help without being ridiculed so I just have to fight through the pain to make my dinner. And then I have to flee to my room or risk being chastised for the unhealthiness of whatever I manage to make before falling over. I just needed to eat a safe food that was quick, filling, and didn't trigger my nausea. But because box mac and cheese will make me fat my mom has to tear me apart over it. Also I only ate 1.5 meals today because my mom gets mad when I'm in the kitchen.

And the bathrooms? My brother spends 20 minutes taking a sink bath every half hour in the bathroom across from my room, so I have to use my parents bathroom if I don't get to it in time. I try to pee quickly but I have to pee frequently due to fibromyalgia bladder. My mom yells at me for using "her" bathroom. "Go downstairs!" she yells. Why can't my able-bodied brother go downstairs to take his sink baths then?? why do I have to painfully crawl down the stairs every time I want to take a piss?? Also he does this in the middle of the night too which wakes me up. Don't get me started on him filling the toilet with shit and not flushing so the smell wafts into my room 🤢

Oh and god forbid I have to take my weekly shower. Then EVERYONE is mad at me for "hogging the bathroom". I only shower once or twice a week due to pain and both my brothers literally showering twice a day (thus no hot water, it's impossible to take a cold shower with fibro). I have to fight to get a timeslot. And then my mom makes fun of me for looking "unkempt".

But according to everyone IM the bully, IM overreacting. My mom "almost died to birth me" so her behavior gets excused. My one brother has severe autism/OCD and my parents dont do anything to help or manage it so his needs are always above mine since I'm able to "push past it" (re: forced). Fun fact the "witch doctor" my parents took my brother to cut off my brothers meds cold turkey this week so its all been 200x worse due to withdrawal (who the fuck cuts someone off of WELLBUTRIN AND ZOLOFT cold turkey????).

I keep telling myself its only a few more weeks but I still haven't heard back about my housing application being approved and I'm getting worried.

How am I supposed to live, let alone work, in this environment?

[janeths]

Worst month

This is more of a self ship… oneshot..? Uhhh. I’ve been having a crappy months, so this more of a vent post.

Even though it’s still a self insert, ima still use Y/N. Just that Y/N uses she/her pronouns, is chubby so… yerrrah Also it will say that Y/N is close to Mario and Luigi, but doesn’t specify if they are family or friends. So ye

Warning: Low self esteem, mentions of suicide, depression, scars, self hatred, IF YOU GET UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THOSE, PLS DONT READ IT.

Bowser may also be OOC 🫠🙃🥲

Also cringe 😬 so uhhhh yeahhh 👾

Summary: It’s just one of the most shitty weeks, Y/N has hasn’t been herself lately, she feels god awful but doesn’t want to worry Bowser. Even more he doesn’t completely understand human emotions. She tries hard to get rid of them but nothing succeeds.

Kinda proof read 🤷‍♀️

It’s awful, so awful, I keep trying to put on this stupid fake smile, just for them not to worry about me. I wasn’t even paying attention to what one of the Koopa soldier had asked me. Bowser nudged my arm . “Y/N? You okay? He asked you something and you didn’t answer.” “Oh sorry about that what was the question again?” “My lady, I asked you if you wished for us to build a garden just for you. Outside of the kingdom of course.” I was confused for a moment. “Bowser, why did you say anything?” I look at him. “Well, I wanted you to be the one in charge. I know you’ll choose a good spot.” He smiles, as the Koopa says, “Where do you think we should put it my lady?” “I uh..” Out of all the times… why now? He’s asking me a question… Y/N just answer it… but think about it… Did the Koopas thought of it or did Bowser? “Well… I say close to here, maybe down in the south… To where the grass ends. Yeah somewhere around there.”

Gosh I felt like shit right now, I can’t do anything but just smile, maybe if I excused myself… “Bowser honey, I’m a bit tired… I’m going take my leave. If you both excuse me…” I give them both a nod and leave. I think Bowser is going to stay up for a while… the least I could do is shower, right? Maybe it’ll clear my head.

I did in fact not took a shower, and laid there. I couldn’t even get my own clothing off. I just laid there, trying so hard to fall asleep. Maybe I should stay in bed tomorrow…

The next morning I woke up feeling a warm hand on my torso. I think I’m going to leave for a bit, maybe that’ll clear my mind…

I slowly crept away from the bed, gave Bowser a small kiss, slowly walked towards the balcony, and jumped off on a tree. “Ow! I shouldn’t have done that…” I felt scrapes around my legs and back, bleeding. “Well… I guess I don’t have to harm myself anymore.” I awkwardly laugh and puff up my dress, and headed towards outside the grassless lands.

As I finally saw the other side, the river and pond, birds chirping, I see a tree close to the pond. “I’ll sit there…” I walked towards the tree, sat down, and started to cry. “What is wrong with me? I can’t believe I just left the kingdom just like that… I feel so pathetic. I didn’t even tell Bowser… It’s fine to want alone time but… this isn’t right…”

Instead of just a day, it became 3 days, then 5, then a week. It was awful, I just couldn’t stand it anymore, I just really wanted to kill my self but… then I wouldn’t see Bowser again… Every morning, I would wake up extremely early just to run away. It’s not that I hated here, I dearly love him, I love our kingdom… but… why even choose me?

I tried hiding away from him, I didn’t want him to worry, I told him I’m feeling under the weather and wanted to be alone. Though he didn’t like it the idea of me wandering off by myself, but I did reassure him that I’ll be close, in case something went wrong.

Another week came again, and I couldn’t even get up the bed. Bowsers been quite busy these past days so I guess it gives me more alone time. “You haven’t been yourself lately, are you alright dear?” My body perked up, scaring me. “Uh- yeah… I’ve just been feeling under the weather that’s all. I’m gonna get more sleep. You.. go on with your day…” “Y/N, it’s nighttime…” He opens the curtains, showing me it’s night, he inhales and coughs. “Y/N…” He hesitates. “…When was the last time you took a shower?” He whispers trying not to trigger me. “I don’t know, weeks? ” I say, stare at him then rolled over to the other side, not wanting to see him. “It’s fine…” I just immediately wanted to cry, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want him to know I’m suffering this badly, I didn’t want to show him that I’m weak, a worthless human. “No- don’t ‘it’s fine’ me. Y/N!” He completely takes my covers revealing the dirty, ripped dress, covered in dry blood I’ve been wearing weeks ago. “You’re dress! Y/N! Why haven’t you told me- I- How come I didn’t know-” “Cause I hid it.” I guess he never saw something like this before, cause he couldn’t speak, he just kept saying my name over and over. He sighs, went and closed the door, came back, sat down on the bed, pulling me close to him, and holding me tight into a hug. I just felt like doll, so numb, I couldn’t move anything, I just felt so weak. “Y/N why haven’t you told me? You know that I would never judge you… You know I would listen to you even if took you hours, days, weeks, months. Or I couldn’t understand human emotions. I know you have a struggle with communication, especially when it comes to your deep feelings.” I was a bit shocked about that statement. “How did you-” “Y/N I wasn’t born yesterday, I know how part of it feels.” He says as he stroked my hair. “I…” “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me now, whenever you feel like you are ready.” I feel my eyes tearing up. “I-I want to say it but it’s just so difficult for me. I’ve been holding it in for so long, I just don’t know what to do with it…” He kisses my forehead. “Let’s start something small then. Have you been having headaches?”

“Yes. Horrible headaches. I just couldn’t stop crying…Each time I would cry, my head would hurt more and more. ” I wipe my tears away.

“Hmm..” He touches my chest gently, and his other hand grabs mine. “What about your heart? Does it hurt? Does it go together with your headaches?”

I nod, frown, feeling in shame, that I have to be treated like a child just to say something. “It feels so heavy. I feel like I have ton of stairs. No matter how much I run, up and up, I still can’t find my place. I still still can’t find an exit. And I end up falling again. It’s just a cycle..” I think he found my spot to let everything out. “You know how you always asked me when we were gonna go to the other world and I always say ‘I really don’t want to right now, maybe next time.’ It’s because…” I bite my lip. “Take your time.” He rubs my back. “I.. don’t like much my family. Yes, I know their family by blood but… sometimes it just doesn’t feel that way. They always…” I start to cry quietly, he notices it and wipes it away. “They are so mean… They never tried to interfere with my life… They said some things… horrible things, that it will always be stuck to me. I was a really good child, but not good enough to be held by. I would always calm myself down when there was no one. I was always alone. By the time I grew up, they would say that I was just saying that, that they were there for me. I have no memory of them trying to comfort me, it was always being yelled or scolded at. They would say mean things, saying that I would never get a boyfriend due to my own mental health. That they’ll leave me the second they know. Even when they found out about our relationship, they said that you would leave me, you were just toying with my own feelings, just for you to get pleasure. They were trying to gaslight me…They even thought it was a good idea that they took my medications because it would make me feel better. And.. I’ve been suffering without them.”

I took a minute to breathe.

“I know you love me. Very much, you show it to me every single day. You never once yelled at me, or went abusive. You truly care about me…. Which I can see that in my eyes…” He pulls me tight to a hug, resting his chin on top of my head. “Even my own shitty friends. I thought I could trust them. I gave them so much love, I was always there for them when they needed it the most. If they had a problem I would always solved it. They had a thing to do and they only trusted me, I would do it. When they invited me, I wouldn’t even hesitate and would be on my way..But when… I felt down, I felt depressed, no one was there. No one. When I would invite them to hang out, they couldn’t cause they were either too busy or somewhere else. Yes I get it, everyone has something to do, but they wouldn’t even answer me till 3 months… saying ‘oh sorry, couldn’t make it.’ Why the fuck would you send it in 3 months just say oh sorry? At least they could have said “oh I’m really sorry, I forgot to message you. I was away for a while. But when do you want to?’ No nothing none of that.I suffered so much with my own terrible nightmares, I felt so alone. Sometimes I feel like they invite me cause they feel extremely bad about me.” I grip his arm, feeling more tears coming. “You’re doing good, Y/N. You’re doing great. Just breathe…” He caressed my back.

I stopped talking for a moment, trying to bring my breathing to normal.

“Mario and Luigi are the only people that didn’t shame me, didn’t judge me, they were always there for me. They knew how much I was alone, and would always invited me over. It felt genuine comfort. That is until my family didn’t like the idea of me hangout with them…” I sigh. “I just have so much pain and anger in me, sometimes I wish I could destroy myself. I hate my father and my mother, I hate everyone. Nobody cares about me, nobody ever wanted to stay with me. I hated everyone so much. I wanted to do things on my own, I didn’t want to depend on anybody, but it was such a pain…” I was crying so much that I started to hyperventilate.

“Y/N! Calm down.” He hugs me tight, trying to soothe all around my body. “ I’m here alright? I’m right here. Those people are in your world, they can’t hurt you here. You’re safe..Oh my Love, I hate seeing you like this… Please let it all out, don’t stop alright? I want you to let every emotion out of you.” I felt like such a baby letting all my cries out, hearing my own hiccups, trying to talk to him. “B-Bow!-” “Shhh Y/N, let it all out. Yell, scream, hit the pillow, anything. I want you to get rid off it.”

Couple minutes passed, I just felt so weak from crying so much. My body felt so numb, my head, chest, and stomach hurts. “I’m so scared. Every time I see a shooting star, I always wish that when I wake up, I wake up here next to you. I’m scared that when I wake up, I won’t find you here next to me, that it was all a dream, you weren’t real…god I feel so weak… I’m so sorry…” He kisses my cheek and hugs me tight. “Why are you sorry? Y/N, I’m proud of you. I’m proud that you took the time to tell me. I’m so proud of you for living, that you are here with me. I’m so proud that you made it this far. You are a strong woman, you know. I’m proud that you are living here.” He starts to tear up. Those words mean so much to me. So much. “I’ll do anything to make you happy, I’ll help you. We’ll do this together, alright? If you need the help from your world, I’ll go with you, money is no problem. I’m not leaving your side, not now nor ever. I love so much… My love.. my dear…My Y/N…” He caress my face, and kisses me passionately. “You did such an amazing job, love. Tomorrow we’ll start our plans. I’ll ask Mario and Luigi to help us, I’m sure they’ll be just as happy as me that you’re gonna get the help. And we’ll be there to support you. For now, you need a bath, and I don’t want you getting sick.”

I sigh, nodded at him, and stood up. “You go take a shower while I put the onsen.” He says.

Once I finished taking a shower, I went ahead and walked towards him, standing behind him. He was playing around with the water, making circles. You’ve done this before… “Hon, come here.” He turns around smiling, extending his hand towards me. I gently hold onto his hand, while grabbing my own towel, feeling self-conscious. “What is it?” He looks down at my legs, then looks up at me. “You know I don’t and won’t ever judge you. I love your body, no one’s here but me. It’s alright. If someone were here I would rip their head out.” That made me chuckle, and felt reassured, knowing he would do that. “Right…” “Or, I could look away, you get in, then I look back at you.” I nodded, he looked the other way, took off my towel, and sat next to him, feeling the water warm. “Can I look now?” “Hmm… no.” I lightly chuckle, and turns around looking around my body, seeing scratches all over me. “Y/N?! Where did you get all those scars all around you?! There all over-” “Ah!” He pulls my arms and one leg up. “Bowser!” “What happened?!” “I fell! That’s all!” He places my body down, gently. “Y/N, that’s so many marks, but…” He says in a worried tone, then looks at my stomach. “I uh… I fell from a tree…” I awkwardly laugh. He sighs, and pulls me into a big hug, making me splash the water. “From the balcony?! Y/N you could have a broken bone! You know you’re delicate.” “I-how did-?!” “I saw strips part of your dress. Y/N…” “I uh well.. I’m here now. Let’s just focus-” “Y/N…” I look at him, he looks at me with a worried face, caressing my stomach, tracing around one stretch mark, then onto tiny bits of scars. “You know I love your stomach. It breaks my heart… that you’re hurting your body…” I look down at my hands, then at my thighs. “I just don’t like it… nor my thighs. I feel so ugly. I just wished I looked like the other pretty girls. They don’t have to suffer with a body so pretty. They can wear pretty clothing, pretty hairstyles. I’m nothing like them. I want to be like them.”

“My dear, you’re marvelous and stunning. Oh if you could see through my eyes, you would find yourself ravishing. Your stomach is perfect, I love grabbing and squishing it, kissing you there. I love laying there, if makes me feel at ease. And every time you stroke my face and hair, I just… it’s brings me so much joy that I found someone. Same thing with your thighs. I just want to squish them, cause they’re thick, and more thick means I can put my head on top of them.” He again hugs me very tight, his hand, reaching out and grabbing my thigh gently. “Whenever you wear the clothing I made especially for you, I’m always in lovestruck. You looks so pretty, makes me happy that you love wearing them.” I sigh and smile, at the wonderful moment.

Couple of minutes have passed and I felt myself getting tired. Then he spoke,

“What do you think about us going to your world? To do what people do. Me and you on a date. Taking me to your favorite places.” My world?! “I would love that, but what about- you know..?” I gesture his huge body. “I can ask Kamek to turn me into a human.” He chuckles. “Well, that could work. But wouldn’t the transformation hurt?” “Nothing hurts for me darling. To me, it’ll feel like a pinch.”

An hour later passed and I was just there, sitting on his lap, resting my head onto his chest, feeling the warm steamy water around me. “ I think we should get out. I’m feeling really tired.” “Same here.” We both get out of the onsen, dried ourself up, and I felt myself walking fast towards the bed, and jumping onto it, bringing the covers. “You aren’t going to get dressed?” He asked. “No, I’m too tired, I don’t feel like it.” He smirks and chuckles, then jumps onto the bed making me jump. “Ah! Hey!” He snuggles close to me, feeling his chest onto mine. “What do you think I’ll look like as a human?” He grins. “Hmm… quite difficult… You being human… you’ll have your red hairs, thick eyebrows.I think you’ll have a red beard and mustache.” “A beard? What makes you say that?”

“Well… I do have an image that you look like a motorcyclist. It’s quite hot.” I kiss his snot, and he sighs happily. “I love you Y/N... Don’t ever change yourself. Don’t let others throw you around, or I’ll fight them.” I chuckle lightly feeling more tired. “I feel safe around you… I feel peace… I feel loved…”

“I’m glad.” He smiles and kisses me.

why date real men when you can date fictional characters (๑･̑◡･̑๑)

Uhhh yeah that’s really it lmao,

[vthetease]

my favorite things

it's me birthday

so just incase anyone wanted to know some stuff about V

heres some random info about my life as well as some of my favorite things

i am a libra sun, aquarius moon, capricorn rising

i like dark chocolate more than any other; i have since i first got my period. i like gummy candy and starbursts but my favorite are the little cola bottle candies. i like tea and coffee sweet, but flavorful. i like energy drinks and slushees and wanted my first tattoo to be a cola-mtn dew slushee but it wasnt. i like waffles more than pancakes but would prefer a toaster strudel or muffin. i like apples and lemons and cinnamon and garlic and truffle and black cherries but not maraschino. i dont like onions or cilantro or swiss cheese. i dont like chili because something about the consistency of wet, tomato-ee hamburger makes me ill. i also can't drink hard liquor.

i like smells like thick cologne that lingers and juniper and spearmint and old houses and honeysuckle and the smells of the earth when it stops raining in the summer. i like the smell of other peoples laundry soap and coffee more than my own. i like eucalyptus and aloe and teakwood and dragons blood incense.

i like classic rock from my dad and 80s pop ballads from my mom and afi and lincoln park from my older sibling and 4*TOWN for my younger sibling. one of my earliest loves in music was Paramore, and hayley is an inspiration of mine. i like pop punk and the band ive seen the most is sleeping with sirens, 4 times now. i like hip hop and rnb and acapella and piano. i like music that makes me feel alive. anything from violin to screaming, i just like passion. i'm a very passionate person and always have been despite myself.

i sing and like singing in the car, while i shower, and cook. i am very loud but sometimes can do cool things. i like how singing makes me happy and helps me relate to other people and also my predecessors. i like how i feel connected to those before me through my voice. my first time singing in public was my 4th grade talent show. I sang The Only Exception by Paramore because my parents thought Almost Lover was too dramatic and adult for a 12 year old

i like old movies and i used to fall asleep to them at my grandparents and wake up to them at weekends at my dads apartment. i like musicals like ride the cyclone and drama like the fault in our stars and action like john wick and will always be down for a horror movie. i like get out and candyman and hereditary and black swan and blair witch and creep. i like the twilight zone and rod serling has a special place in my heart. i also like alex trebek from jeopardy, matthew grey gubler, penn badgely, andrew scott, evan peters, and my biggest current celeb crush is matt rife.

i like being alone in busy places. i like to talk to people but i also like to disappear to the other room during the party. im the girl you find sitting outside sometimes smoking, or on the balcony. i enjoy walking back into a concert midsong and seeing all the happy little people being happy. i like stepping away from chaos to appreciate it. i like driving on highways at night when its empty and im high. i like watching airplanes land. i like sleep and i sleep in a tank top and underwear but never socks. my dreams always take me back to this very similiar place every single night doing different tasks with different people. i might start calling it the twilight zone. i like to paint my emotions in my makeup and artwork. i have always felt very deeply and openly.

i like the moon and the stars and it is so fascinating to learn about the same beautiful big rock my ancestors saw. i feel drawn to white butterflies and birds and bumblebees and skinks ( they r tiny lizards). i like history and culture, but im really bad at math.

thats all i can come up with for now. if you have any questions let me know

thanks for reading about me, lmk if youre in love yet

valentine, 22 today <3

[forgotten-daydreamer]

Hey I saw the post about the cigs and I don't know how comforting this is going to be but setbacks happen. Recovery ain't always linear and that's ok. I'm not a smoker, but I'm almost a year self harm free and I completely get how much harder it is to not give up after you fall back into it.

Being in a bad situation doesn't make you a bad person. Nor does reaching your limit. Considering the fucked up situation Italian government is in, it's already stressful in general.

I'm rooting for you 💪

i havent been self harm free in like months at this point - full blown alcoholic and all (but i am working on it, i swear). but yeah i mean, i dont like wasting money that im eorking hard for, for shit like cigs and alcohol. i genuinely don't. i feel so dumb bc i'm working like a bastard for money and im also studying to earn another scholarship so i should know better but i just... i've been thinking "i need a good smoke" for like a week and i gave in today. i feel so shitty. i took 2 showers, washed my hair twice, brushed my teeth and flossed and used mouthwash like four fucking times, and i still smell it, still feel it. i hate it. i feel so stupid. therapy isnt working and my life is a disaster and um a bad friend and it all sucks. and yes, the fact that this world fucking scares me, not unironically - i'm fucking terrified, every day i read of people dying and every day i want to kill myself because it all hurts so much and i feel useless and dumg complaining about dumb shit when people are out there being slaughtered, and i now live in a dictatorship so nothing makes sense and im genuinely scared that one of these days someone is gonna kill my unimates and i right outside uni because the police there is heavily armed and they dont care about beating unarmed young adults. i hate it all. i hate living this life - had i been x10 richer or smth like that, it wouldn't have changed. being here in this life and knowing whats going on in the world and in my country and with me within myself is enough to send me spiraling as soon as i wake up - provided that i manage to catch some sleep. i hate it all. i'm also aware i'm manic rn and my therapist said so too but i always feel like this and i want it to stop. i want to make one good decision in my fucking life. sorry for the yapping im genuinely desperate. thank you so much for the lovely words and im also super happy that youre doing good.

[pbandjesse]

I feel like I haven't been recognizing myself lately. I don't know why. I just feel uncomfortable. Even yesterday and last night I felt like this but then I saw the pictures James took of me after the game (which we did win) and I looked fine! I don't know why I feel like my hair is wrong and my face is puffy. I'm trying to just be chill about it but I don't feel particularly chill.

I did have fun last night. My overalls were hurting me though, feeling to tight sitting there on the bleachers. A little after 9 I asked James if we could go home. And they said yes and we went to wait for the lightrail home.

We chatted with a guy on the train and watched the score on James's phone. And soon we were walking home.

When we got back I was happy to just go and take another shower and try to feel normal. I did not feel normal.

Falling asleep was hard. But waking up was harder and worse. I would be okay but I was being a little bit of a baby about it. James made me a sandwich and we headed out to our jobs.

I actually would end up feeling a lot better but I really didn't want to be there. Like don't get me wrong I love being there. But I dont love doing the same ground elements/low ropes every day. Like I get it but also I hate feeling bored and that's why I usually do a bunch of different things! Tomorrow I get to do a new thing so that will help I'm sure.

And the group was a lot of fun but we were all tired. Me and Celia got there before everyone else so we waited for a little, sitting in the sun. And once we were able to get inside we got the keys and headed up to the low ropes course.

Once everything was set up we went up to the field to wait.

Again they decided to do free choice. Why. This was so stupid. So all the kids were confused again, and some ended up in groups that didn't get to see some things and had to do things twice. It was stupid. Whatever.

I had fun at least. Even if I was tired. Even if all of us were tired.

We did low ropes, and then Sarah went to horses to drop them off. And I got to go help with flying squirrel.

Tony had to quickly show me how to set up the harnesses, which were slightly different from the Zipline ones. But that's fine. They were a bit frayed at the end so it was hard to get it to work but I would eventually and was proud of us for working through it. And it would be fun! Tony is such a great personality and even when things were hard we got it together and everyone who wanted to go up on the line got to.

The last of our three programs went the weirdest. Halfway through the second program the horse program was already sending their group down. And so then we had to scramble. And then everyone was in programs way to fast. Ugh.

Me and Celia went to wait for our group in the feild but no one came. After 15 minutes we called over the walkie but no one knew where they went. Finally the lead teacher figured out thy decided to just go chill at the lodge. So me and Celia sat in the sun and ate pretzels for a few minutes. And then started to put everything away.

We would go check in with Elizabeth and get the gator so we could collect the watercoolers and put away the rest of the ground elements. And then we went up to the lodge to clean the coolers.

The group was having lunch and they let us have some sandwiches. Me and Celia and Tony sat outside and chatted with some of the older boys, who are graduation in two days! And they told us how important this trip was and it just let them be themselves without thinking about what's next and that was so sweet. We also argued if the taxidermy mount outside was a deer and an elk. It's clearly and elk, it's huge. But the boys were convinced.

After we finished eating we would go take the gator back to the office but the catering truck blocked up. The nice guy went to move it though and Celia went and got us cosmic brownies while we waited. Then we had to quickly go around the bus that was coming in. But no big deal. We were just being silly, screaming and stuff. Pretending to be dead bodies.

We would sit at the office for a bit. And I would have my discussion with Heather about pewter casting and they are all for it and that's awesome. And I chatted with Alexi about my concerns about specialty staff this summer but she made me feel a lot better. Supported. Fingers crossed.

I went back to the lodge to go help out away tables and chairs. And then it was time to go home.

I was really excited to go home. I had thought about going somewhere but no. Home. Shower. Rest.

When I got back here I would clean up and lay down. I didn't mean to sleep until 5 but I did. James was home when I woke up. And they brought me cereal. It took forever for me to feel normal. We would lay on the couch eventually and have nachos.

I would go work in the studio for a while. Putting stuff away. Cutting out little felt bears for keychains. And I would vacuum while James made an apple cake. Which made the apartment smell so nice.

The mail came and my new dress came and it's so good!! I don't know if it's appropriate for Cate's wedding but maybe??? I am going to wear it for our anniversary dinner tomorrow if nothing else.

I did some changing of the decorations in the frog tank. And I think it looks good. After it was cleaned up I have basically just been resting.

I am teaching about turtles tomorrow. Hopefully it goes well. I hope it's a good day. And it's our anniversary!! I hope it's a really nice day.

Sleep well everyone. Take care of each other!!

[nitazenes]

What's it like to faint? Like what does it feel like, what happens? I've never experienced fainting but I have hypotension and I want to be prepared for if I might faint.

hey there nony

so fainting is different for everyone depending on whats making you pass out but my fainting is due to a vasovagal response and hypotension (POTS) so I think I can speak a little on this.

For myself personally, I can tell when a fainting spell is going to come on, my hearing gets muffled, my head will feel as light as a balloon and dizzy, and my vision starts to get spotty. I know at that point to get low to the ground. it's harder to hurt yourself if youre lower to the ground. or even sit on the ground, wherever you are. you could be in a line at disney, sit on the floor bc 1) its harder to faint while sitting 2) if you hit your head its not going to be as hard as if you were standing (i have a TBI from fainting and falling backwards on an incline, so my head hit the ground even harder than it should have This can kill you, give you a concussion, or literally damage to the brain, you want to avoid hitting your head as much as possible so get down to the floor even if you just suspect you might faint.

If you feel like youre gonna to definitely faint (light headedness, vision shit, hearing muffled, your heart might feel slow or it will be beating rapidly, the best way to restore and recover is to put your head between your knees. preferably close to the ground and not in a chair. I nearly fainted in my MMA training before we found out that I had this condition and i learned the head between the knees trick on my own bc i sat down in a chair but still felt like i was going to faint. So i hunched over and put my head on my knees and I recovered.

you can evade fainting that way bc it restores your BP back to normal range, a vasovagal response (and hypotension) is that your blood isnt getting back to the brain fast enough due to dilated arteries. It's a response from the brain trying to get more oxygen but if youre standing, all of the oxygen rich blood goes to your legs instead, it's basically a miscommunication between the heart and brain

With hypotension, youre more bound to faint by: standing up too fast, being crouched down and then standing too fast, or going from laying to standing too fast, also long periods in the heat. Most of the time you'll feel dizzy and disoriented when that occurs if youve ever felt that feeling like the light headedness after standing up, that is almost the same sensation felt when fainting.

If you faint, youre usually unconscious for just a couple of seconds, sometimes you fall unconscious for just a split second and youre already waking back up by the time you hit the ground. if you dont wake within i think it's like 3 minutes, its an emergency and youre technically in a coma. Fainting from hypotension has done the following: made me dizzy, made my head and face feel cold, light headed, spotty vision, everything will be suddenly too bright or too dark, dulled physical sensations (like pain), deafness or muffled hearing, and tinnitus.

After fainting and even after the knee trick, if you feel weak and shaky, get something sugary to drink and put a cool damp rag on the back of your neck (if you can). The sugar is important though, in fact chug liquid IV, pedialyte, or gatorade. They restore electrolytes and you will feel better pretty quickly.

I hope this suffices as an explanation as well as giving tips. Re: in hot areas, make sure you have a way of cooling down like cold water, people with POTS or hypotension can get heat exhaustion very easily and that can lead to heat stroke. It can sometimes happen if you take a long hot shower as well.

If you hit your head, I would say if it left a bump or your head hurts, or you feel dizzy? Or you feel suddenly very fatigued after hitting your head, dont sleep. youre going to want to, but dont. I would get checked and monitored for a concussion in the off chance you smack your head

[sashccharine]

Sasha/As to you, you are solace to me at this moment.

Him/And so are you... you are so sweet to me I don't even know what to do.

It/ Your love knows no bounds, you only need to ask for help to be delivered.

Sasha/As I look to him with longing and a sense of reprieve, I ask him yet again if he is fine. Because deep down inside, I can't not seem to care and maybe that's just the way I am.

Intonation/I messaged him every month for 10 years and I know deep down inside he hates me for what happened. Maybe... maybe. As a chiasmisssus who wants to toy with him... what would be the outcome? Another The Weeknd song perhaps. Love... love is the only thing that keeps us alive. He feels like I want to toy with him but he doesn't realise that's what he needs.

Simulated convo:

Me: Opa, what are you doing right now? I miss you. I need you right now. *picture of scantily clad*

Yes my play is to act desperate for some reason. Which he can't tell I'm acting because it's half-real.

Me: Why won't you reply to me? You don't love me anymore?

Jh/I can feel my heart growing cold at a new revelation...

Sasha/I guess they forgot the part where they talk about why I'm like that and who turned me into this way. Is it bad to be experienced in love?

Simulated convo 2:

Me: Opa, what did you do today?

Him: ...not much, work.

Me: Did you have a good day, did you eat delicious foods for lunch?

Him: ...im tired.

Me: Are you with anyone right now? Do you want me to come over?

Him: ...(im thinking about it)

Me: You're tired and might fall asleep... 😴 it's okay, I'll come over another day with some beers that you like. Is that fine?

(I didn't have a good two days recently, I had insomnia and went on some really weird trip. I was trippin'.)

As to whether I should ask him for 500 bucks. Is a mystery to me.

It's a bootycall and I like him so why not? 🤔

Him: Come over, now.

Me: Opa, cab fare and the beers, plus for the comfort. Could you tip me 500. 💖

Him: You're kidding me. 500.

Me: I just lost my job and I dont have money for the cab. What beers do you like?

Him: 450

Me: 480, you need to paynow me.

(Okay this is weird. I somehow got tricked to going and asking for money... wow. Simulated conversations amirite. They say, don't do it for free...)

Him: ok *he transfers the money*

Me: Opa, your address please and what beers do you like? I'll be there in an hour.

Him: Marlboro lights and Heineken.

Me: *1 hour later* She appears at his door.

Him: *He wakes up and let's her in. She's showered and smells like rose buttercream.*

He actually wants to scold her for this but he's also anticipating the night and how it'll turn out.

Her and him: They do the deed but it feels wrong to her and she seems upset. Like something is holding her back... she leaves his house and goes to buy the morning after pill.

She held him and cried herself to sleep. After not seeing him for 10 years, but it seems like no time has passed. And that was strange but comforting to her. But she knew that maybe she had done something wrong because she felt a deep void of sadness well up inside of her.

M/ You betrayed me... you bitch.

The vulgarity hit her like a tight, searing hot slap across her face. Momentarily, she thought about losing him... them both and she knew that it was always taken away from her no matter how much she tried. That perhaps seeking solace was wrong as well.

Him/I'm sorry.

Her: Truth is, I got so used to the one I loved being taken away that I conditioned myself not to feel when they left.

[rippeds0cks]

5/9/2023

Was gonna do legs today but i injured my finger accidentally punching someones elbow yesterday n figured if i dont keep it moving itll get more swollen and fucked up so i did pull today. Also thought how i only ever try to look good in pics so i should take some where im not really flexing and just kinda am standing there lookin bad. Especially cause i just got out of the ice shower and all my blood vessels are shrunk so my muscles look small and my fat is so much more pronounced. Anyways onto my feelings of the day this shit cannot go on much longer or im gonna kill myself cause goddamn im having a rough time. I cant stop thinking of my ex. Everytime i see something i think of her. Be it flowers, food, cityscapes, anything. Even when im fighting im thinking about her, hell i was sitting in the grocery store watching something and they mentioned cottagecore and i almost busted out crying cause my mind wouldnt stop playing back everything about her since she loved cottagecore. Im fighting for my goddamn life just to have normal thoughts and it aint working. I have no interest in dating or hooking up or getting with anyone cause none of it feels right. Like ive been on plenty of dates and ive had intimacy a couple times (never really fucking but like everything else) and its just worthless. Like i can put up a hell of an act but dates a boring, my body naturally complies with sex but mentally im not there. Ive literally had my dick sucked and im just standing there blank face while its happening then everytime the girl looks at me i go back to acting like im enjoying it. I cant even cum when im intimate unless im intimate for a while n my body just finally does its thing but it never feels good i always feel gross. There no emotion in it, im not attached it feels completely empty. My therapist always says “you gotta mourn the relationship so you can move forward” but how do i do that? I wanna talk to her but at the same time i feel like i have to say everything i also have absolutely nothing to say. Not even so i can be in hopes of getting a relationship even tho i know if i saw her again id fall in love just like i did the first time i saw her i just want closure or something. Im at a complete loss for direction cause nothing i do works. No matter how much i workout, fight, hang out with buddies, talk to women, go on dates, or get blackout drunk, it never fucking works. Nothing helps me at all. I just wanna die so i never have to deal with any of this again. I wanna go to bed n never wake up. I wanna walk into the woods and never come out. I dont know what to do cause nothings working

[flyingcookierambles]

arrgh work has been horrible lately. like. just ughghg. ive been so drained and sad that i havent even been able to finish dragalia lost’s final chapter.....

:/// :(((

at least i did this tutorial. still waiting for the files to download. even if they dont technically run right now due to not having a server to connect to, maybe someone someday in the future will make a private server like how all those MMO nerds keep everquest alive and stuff so that we can play the game again. i know that its technically just 2 days now (counting down the hours to the last 24 :(( ) but like. i have 0 time im so sad abt it ugh.

anyways! tutorial on how to save your files and all the assets below! the video’s very helpful description also has the links to the guthubs and pythons and stuff you need to run the scripts to download.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyhRUaKV_G8

heres hoping my laptop can squeeze the eng/chinese/taiwan versions on to 20 gb, or ill break out my external hard drive or something idk.

ughhh.

i think that. im just kinda done with live service games right now. like gacha burnout + being burned by that korean kaledoscope gacha, a3! english, and now dragalia lost. like, i think i’ll still play genshin since its literally insane and seems like they’re really thinking of making it a long lived game like granblue or something and of course ffxiv which as an mmo, while still a “live service,” as an mmo i think that they are just. different? like gachas are sprinting to each and every banner, but the mmo model seems more like a light jog or marathon. of course there is some FOMO and time sensitive holiday events, etc., but mmos just seem different from gacha, especially f2p gacha. i think it may also just be that mmos as a genre/company model has more history than the more recent gacha anime gaming industry. so. like. yeah. i really do actually want to get back into other gacha that i put on hold for a3! eng and now dragalia. i really do want to see my best husbandos mammon and beel and satan in obey me, and i want to either give twst jpn a try for language learning purposes and/or finally install twst eng. and like. uhh. lol. nu carnival lol. and of course a3! jpn and enstars music of course. hahhahahaha new carnival what is that

but like all jokes aside i seriously just cant. you would think that since they’re phone apps and all i can just download them and go esp since i always have my phone with me but like. i cant bring myself to do it. ghuaoghg i feel like this is my phone being kinda old, the battery gets killed when i open games, the building i work in has no wifi and my cellular data is high enough, and work draining my energy to do anything but play genshin for 30-45 minutes in a mindless hack n slash grind for dailies and primos for saramouche and then maybe doing the custom delivery of the week in ffxiv and then going to bed. like thats it. i wake up at 6 am i go to work til 4 pm i travel home and shower i get tired i crawl into bed bc my room is cold i either read fanfic/watch youtube or i fall asleep until 10 pm and accidentally skip dinner and then i go to bed and wake up and the cycle just repeats for 7 days a week for 45+ hours a week. ughghurghru having 2 jobs was a mistake FML OTL...

[bbeelzemon]

god, i feel like every time i decide to wait for my parents to go upstairs, it just happens to be a one-in-a-hundred day that they decide to stay up super late

[marvelousescapism]

idc if this is a popular opinion but i think The best dynamic for stucky in the present day is like bucky just fully embracing hedonism as part of his recovery and just going "ok i am now a housewife princess and i dont have to do shit" and letting steve spoil the fuck out of him both in general life and sexually. like let him just prance around in designer bathrobes and eat pastries and bonbons and read magazines all day and get some good dick in the evening that's what he deserves

oh but nonny you are SO right, Bucky being hedonistic af is glorious!!

When Steve gets up early to go for a run (he'll always leave a little note by the bed when he does) Bucky will stay in bed til noon just lounging around

At this point, their bed is more of a fluffy blanket pile than a bed because Bucky will buy every fluffy blanket he sets his eyes on, and also Steve now buys any blanket he sees that he thinks Bucky will like

He used to be nervous about making frivolous purchases and would ask Steve's permission every time at first, until Steve figured out what was happening and assured Bucky that he didn't need permission and he was allowed to just do things and buy things and own his own things just because he felt like it

(After that, most of Bucky's money has been going into steadily funding the little Jewish bakery down the block because it reminds him of his Ma's food)

(Also Steve will get Bucky whatever he wants when they go shopping; Bucky is.. basically Steve’s sugar baby.)

("Steeeve~" "Yeah baby?" "You seen this fancy underwear..? Bet my ass would look reeeal nice in this pretty lace.. whaddaya think~?" "I think you oughta put em in the basket, Buck. No, two. Put two in the basket. I don’t trust myself not to rip the first pair off’a ya soon as you get em on.")

Steve hand feeds Bucky sweet treats allllll the time, just has Bucky lay his head on his lap and pets his hair as he dips strawberries into cream and sugar for Bucky and lets him slowly eat from his hand and lick his fingers clean

Bucky naps a lot; he turns into a cat when he finds a spot of sunlight; he'll just lay down on the floor and fall asleep on the carpet because who's gonna judge him?? If anything, he'll wake up with Steve's arms around him and that's always the best way to wake up

Bucky does not lift a finger at all at bath time (and it's always bath time, not shower time, because Bucky likes the warmth and the bubbles and the bath bombs and the bath salts and the scented candles around the tub and whatever Bucky wants he's sure as hell getting it); Steve will wash his hair and kiss down his neck and shoulders until Bucky's just turns to goo in his arms

Bucky just has to look at Steve a certain way in bed or call his name in a certain tone and Steve is rushing to go down on his pillow princess and give him whatever he wants

(Bucky hardly ever does any of the work during sex)

He wakes up to Steve lazily fucking him or sucking him off under the sheets so many times that it's basically the norm at this point

Basically, Bucky is living the high life and Steve pampers the fuck out of him - to the point the others always tease Steve for having a 'kept boy'

(And Steve just shrugs and smiles to himself because he can't exactly deny it... and he also kinda likes it 😌)