#but i feel drained feeling the pressure of everyone only anticipating one thing from me rn

[elix8r]

to any of my followers who have blogs on tumblr how do you get interactions??? 😭 i know i'm not on here as much as i probably should but i have almost 1k followers but i rarely get messages and when i do it's about when i'm updating fics 😭 like i wanna grow my blog to be more than just a place where i write but a place where i can also kind of have a community 😅 i know I've been taking forever writing but like these outpours of messages only about when i'm finishing monkey bars pt 2 is killing me esp when i just released a huge fic that doesn't even have 200 notes 🥲 idk sorry if i'm being annoying and sounding entitled but i really really wanna do more on tumblr but i'm kind of lost like i want to know my followers and make friends i just don't think i know how so if anyone has tips pls lmk

[siriusmydeer]

his bunny

remus lupin x fem!reader

summary: remus sees you tutoring someone before a full moon, and he gets jealous.

word count: 3.1k

warning: fem!receiving oral, pet names, breeding kink, degrading, creampie, choking, penetration, missionary, edging, marking, possession kink, swearing, kissing, mentions of tearing up, mentions of subspace, dom!remus, sub!reader, daddy kink, size kink

a/n: this wasn’t requested but i wanted to write a long smut for 500 followers so THANK YOU. also happy birthday daddy lupin

5:04pm— fuck, you were late.

three hours of incessant tutoring, i mean making amortentia wasn’t immensely difficult but you had top marks in potions so you could’ve been biased. well that was unless you were a fifth year hufflepuff with their head up their own arse.

the only reason you agreed to use your your at liberty time was mainly because mcgonagall bribed you with house points that could’ve meant well later on.

“no— you stir anti-clockwise four times, not clockwise three times.” your teeth were gritted, in a jaw lock as your patience slowly drained because he failed to make such a simple potion yet again. a harsh sigh left your mouth while you to undergo all the steps again and fix the potion and restart it yet again.

“sorry—“ “nope, it’s fine. don’t apologize.” swiftly cutting off the younger boy with the only stoicism you had left. you were tremendously trying to restrain yourself from screaming in his face that he was keeping you from your boyfriend and all you wanted was to be done with this foolish potion.

as you were in the midst of explaining how to put the powered moonstone into the cauldron you heard the mahogany door of the library swing open with a small creak, revealing your agitated boyfriend. his face was flushed, he was angry; due to his low amount of patience and mood control of the week before the brimming moon he so effortlessly dreaded.

you watched his eyes erratically scan the room, eying every student before his narrowed eyes watched your dumbfounded figure, startled by his sudden outburst. of course, you weren’t surprised by his high-temperamental acts that landed right smack in the library but you had made a promise to a professor you had adorned and you were silently trying to create a monologue to reason with your short-tempered boyfriend.

your breath suddenly slows into shallow breaths at the view in front of you. a sharp march in your direction, walking over to your table wondering why you’re in the library with another male, that was not him. your thoughts were barely registering in your brain like a puzzle you had to quickly put together, kyle, the hufflepuff you had been tutoring finally put together in his brain to stir in the correct direction and actually finished the potion error-free.

“y/n.” you heard deep voice of your boyfriend suddenly a meter away from your sat figure on the old wood of the chair. his arms are crossed in a defensive manner, his patience suddenly cut short and anger starting to freely bubble in his tone and body language.

“yes— sorry! i was— am tutoring, erm... kyle, remus, remus, kyle.” your words sputtered by the intimidating tone of your boyfriend, attempting to ease the tension by introducing him to the hufflepuff.

what was usually to come with the full-phase of the moon is recurrent mood swings, immense possessiveness, overbearing jealousy, teeth-gritting impatience and the overflow of sorrow. yes, it was almost maddening how he just assumed anyone with a palpitating heart was interested in you.

on the other hand, it also made you tremendously turned on by his demeanour of wanting to claim you all for himself.

“oh, sorry— must’ve kept you... finished my potion. thanks for the help, y/n.” the boy awkwardly trailed off, remus freezing up at the boy just saying your name.

you were his, and he wanted everyone to know it.

the younger hufflepuff sensing the tension grabbed his satchel as well as his books and giving you a nod on the way out of the library. “remus— i promise, it’s just studying.” the sentence incoherent from the rapid blubbering of your words attempting already trying to ease your boyfriend, standing up and putting your agile hands onto his fit torso.

his body slightly loosening from your delicate touch, but still feeling the swing of his mood suddenly change back into short tempered and angered from another male keeping you from him; feeling the dominating jealously run coarse through his system sensing the feeling of of dominance about to explode through him like a firework.

as we was in a daze, his eyes narrowed onto your figure. you awkwardly shifted confused on what you were suppose to do as he stood there staring at you. in an attempt to create a less tense environment for you both you started to pack your things. your mind putting the puzzle pieces together slowly, preparing you for a long intense night.

his attention quickly snapped on your smaller figure, his whole body being able to hover over you with his slender one. he blinked at you for a moment before carding your fingers together and dragging you out of the library as subtle as possible all the way to the gryffindor tower where his dormitory had been for the last six years.

much to remus’ content, that day was quidditch practice so that knocked out both sirius and james from occupying the dorm. peter had been out with his ravenclaw partner working on a defence against the dark arts essay, which meant his dormitory was completely empty; and free for use.

as soon as the oak wood of the door was closed you were immediately pressed against it; feeling small splinters hit the back of your blouse and the feeling his abrasive fingers squeezing the sides of your throat. your flat adam’s apple bobbing his his velvety palm whilst he held you against the door.

“you’re. mine.” his tone dark and possessive, his face lowering to meet yours to the point you could feel his heavy breath fan over your flushed face; caught off guard from his actions.

“only mine to love, only mine to touch, only mine to fuck.” he emphasized his words as he spoke, his grip growing tighter on your throat feeling the tips of his fingernails graze your skin.

your breath heaving as he continued to keep eye contact slightly intimidating you, your irises blowing out in lust at the tone of his voice. “show me... show me i’m yours.” you jabbered, your voice slightly shaking in a whisper due to his hand restricting your throat but still able to keep a steady breath aside from your exceedingly high heart rate.

he was taken a back by your insist for his dominance amplified by the full moon. your sentence clicked in his brain, his other hand carding through the nape of your hair and the remaining hand holding your throat unapplying all the pressure, eventually pulling your face in his direct view, he was debating on what to do; still afraid that he might go to hard and hurt you.

he opted for the option that pursued him pushing your lips together, feeling your chapstick-coated lips meld into his. continuing his actions but slipping his tongue slip into your mouth, his familiar and comforting flavour bleeding onto your taste buds and the the tinge of mint and strawberry transfusing onto his own tongue.

the male started to squeeze the column of your throat, squeezing the sides emitting an almost incoherent whine from you. the grip he had on your hair was enough to tug you towards his four poster bed. letting your back fall against the made bed and his own body loitering above your own.

his lips were aggressively separated from yours, before you could even muster another whine his lips collided with the side of your neck. feeling his lips suck into your skin, giving little bites as he continuing his marks across the expanse of your neck.

he sat up for a moment to admire his work, looking at your neck in awe of how beautiful you look with his markings. his hands got a hold ripping off both his tie and his dress shirt from his body that was beginning to burn in desire.

he finally got his fingers around your house tie instantaneously chucking the fabric across his dorm, and jerking open your white blouse almost tearing most of the buttons that were sewed into your top in the process.

“remus— my top!” you abruptly cried out at the broken blouse that now lied on the floor. “be quiet.” he demanded, not in the mood to play little games. his lips now suckling against your collar bone, his large hands grazing down your torso and firmly digging into the sides of your waist.

you squirmed at the sudden pressure that was pressed into your sides. his other hand grabbed at your thigh vigorously melding you into his mattress, the other securely wrapping his fingers around the depth of your throat. feeling your pulsating heart through his fingers that had been plummeting in anticipation since your arrived in his dorm.

“daddy— please.” you whimpered, the sudden urge of lechery scathing your nervous system completely, drowning out any other forms of feeling. you wanted him, you needed to feel him.

“awe— you’re begging like the whore you are.” his voice in strict mockery and faux-sympathetic tone, grinning at your squirming figure beneath his own.

“m’sorry- i jus’ i need you!” continuing to plead as his face that was smirking like the cheshire fucking cat. his hand moved from the level planes of your thigh all the way to your bum, kneading the flesh, bound to become scarlet, within his smooth palms.

“be a good girl for once, and be quiet.” remus reprimanded, his tone thick and hoarse; his dominant headspace slowly blurring his vision.

he glanced upon your torso, the gryffindor pride running throughly around his veins knowingly that everyone would see the fuchsia and plum hues that rested prettily on your skin, that everyone would know whom you belonged too; him.

you stared up at his hovering body, his torso moving lower to and his lips beginning to sponge needy kisses to your lower abdomen, then further flipping up the fabric of your hemmed school skirt. ”dirty girl, these f’me?” the boy slurred while smirking, toying with the hem of your red-lace panties.

“mhm, yes daddy.” you feverishly nodded whilst answering your boyfriend. he snapped the red-lace against your navel once, producing a small shock through your body due to his manipulation; ultimately making your need exceedingly more in the time he spent trifling with your underwear.

“please— stop teasing daddy, i need you!” the whine escapes your throat as you spoke in anguish. the feeling of urgency for you boyfriend to touch you was plummeting through the roof as you attempted to restrict yourself from compressing your legs together and rid of the urge between your thighs.

“stop teasing? don’t you deserve it, hm?” he continued to mock at your inevitable squirming, snapping the thong right against your hip bone. hearing the small ‘snap’ that emitted from it following a small whine of need.

his face got closer, nosing at your core than further dragging the red-lace down the planes of your legs; tossing them on the oak wood floor. starting at your thighs splotching small wet kisses continuing whilst he progressed further up.

you began to card your trembling fingers through his fawn tresses, your fingers quivering from expectancy. his lips progressing further up the expanse of your inner thighs continuing to suck small splotches of vermillion on your inner thighs like he previously did across your throat. your body basically screaming ‘i belong to remus lupin!’

his eyes darted towards you once, one of your hands clutched onto his plaid bedding and the other clasping onto his roots; your head was thrown back, eyes rapidly blinking in suspense.

his to tongue made contact with your folds, feeling your arousal glaze his tongue while he constructed figure eight movements. he felt the gasp that was pulled through your lungs, and trifling moans trembling from your from your throat.

you felt remus’ tongue dive into the depths of your cunt, a small shockwave running up the crevices of your spine and settling itself in your belly awaiting for the feeling of pleasure to build.

“s’good daddy, so, s’good.” babbles of praise emitted from your lips as you clutched harder onto his fawn-coloured tresses. 

he continued to lap into your core, hitting sensitive spots that could make your legs mindlessly quiver. “daddy— m’gonna—“ as you were about to notify your boyfriend of your orgasam his lips pulled away entirely.

his own lips were slightly puffed out and wet from your arousal, his face slightly flushed from the dominance that had overtaken him. “y’didnt think i’d let you come that easily, did you?” remus taunted, a smirk making its way into his lips as your legs were starting to settle and the fire that was burnt into your belly had washed away like a small wave only awaiting his tongue more.

“but dadd—“ you attempted to coerce him, before he cut you off. “c’mon bunny, ‘ve got to teach you a lesson now. y’know what happens when you beg like a little whore, hmm?” he reprimanded yet again, whilst sneaking his tendril fingers back towards your thighs that he had previously marked; drawing small little swirls on the flesh of your skin.

he ran a slender finger through your folds once, feeling you spring up a bit in sensitivity. you felt tears prick your waterline in desperation, further feeling a second finger swipe through your arousal once more.

he lowered his face again beneath your skirt, kissing the skin of your navel once before putting his tongue to use: drawing lazy circles upon your clit.

your body started to feel the shockwaves of pleasure build slightly faster from the previous edge that had made your body sensitive to the touch. his abnormally large hands placed both your thighs on the density of his shoulders, pulling your cunt closer to him; his impossible werewolf strength giving him the means for his hands ableing himself to maneuver your whole body in anyway he wanted.

the burn in your lower abdomen is quickly rebuilt, pleasure running thick through your bloodstream. you were immensely fraught if he would let you finish, awaiting for the pleasure to take you in.

you felt him remove his tongue and replace its absence with his ring and middle finger, dragging through your walls that were clenching around his fingers. the sudden shock of being full beyond pleasuring you enough for your eyes to roll back, your back completely arching at his fingers dragging against your g-spot.

“daddy, daddy, please! ‘ve been good, learnt my lesson. i promise!” you jabbered in between moans at his swift fingers that could’ve had you gripping your own tresses if it weren’t for your hands being occupied with remus’ hair and his bed sheets. “let me cum, please let me cum.” gasping in a pleading and dire tone.

you felt suddenly empty again, no contact made with remus as he pulled his fingers from inside your clenched walls and swiping them through his tongue. he began to hover over your quivering body, the burn in your abdomen slowly began non-existent. you began to recoil your body; the same feeling of pricking tears making an appearance on your waterline.

“c’mon puppy, you can’t think your begging will break me now?” his tone condescending at you jutted your lips out with a pout. he ran his thumb across the expanse of your pouted lips once, before rapidly grabbing the nape of your hair forcing his bronze irises with green swirls into your own desperate-pleading eyes.

“if you’re such a good girl, you’ll cum when i say you can.” his tone strict, his hand ripping away from your tresses that began to become mangled from all the squirming you had previously endured from your orgasam pulled from you.

he quickly slotted his fingers around the buckle of his belt, swiftly pulling it off along with the material of his slack pants leaving him adorned in a pair of tight briefs. his hard-on obnoxiously present and intimidating, remus pulled your view up from his cock to his eyes with his thumb and forefinger resting under your almost-quivering chin.

“y’gonna be a good puppy and do what i tell you to, or y’gonna be bad and m’gonna have to punish you again?” remus questioned, seeing you eagerly nod at his question.

he anxiously rid himself of the intolerable tight material of his boxers. “m’little whore, this little skirt on.” he observed running the tip of his cock leaking in precum through your folds again. your body reacting to it extravagantly, additionally sensitive from his previous denied orgasams.

you panted in suspense, eyes widened and your arms grappling upon his scarred forearms that rested by the sides of your flushed face.

his velvet like hand grabbing both sides of your cheeks, jutting your lips into a recurrent pout. he smirked at your vulnerability and imprudence; the lust in your pupils directly for him.

“beg. beg like m’little fucking slut.” he spoke with a necessitated tone. you gasped a bit, suddenly feeling the immense pressure of his hands grappling at your cheeks and his prick slowly entering your cunt.

“please— please daddy, need you. need so you so, so bad. please i’ll— anything daddy, i’ll do anything.” gasping out slightly slurring your words that were mumbled, from his hands grasped on your face ; you felt as as he continued to push into you.

“finally, y’know how to do something right.” then you felt him slowly pulse in and out of you, your cunt hypersensitive feeling the pain and pleasure dance on your clit as his pubic bone rubbed against it with every thrust becoming more aggressive and rough.

from the built pleasure of seeing your writhe underneath him, his cock was ready to be overstimulated in the warmth of your cunt.

“m’little cockslut, doin’ so well f’me. gonna breed you like m’little bitch.” his voice slurred from pleasure as he praised you in the midst of his dominant blurred headspace. the building pleasure in his prick, was moving rapidly as the friction between you both building up briskly from the unabating tension and teasing.

“m’gonna cum, please, let me cum!” your voice rasped from crying out to him, and your gasps filling the empty spaces between your words.

“cum bunny, want you to cum.” his voice was sharp as he grunted, his jaw clenched almost at his point of own release but awaiting you to finish first.

at his que you sputtered out a mix of moans and ‘thank-you’s’ to him, feeling like a bunch of shock waves had warped your nervous system and releasing all of your arousal over remus’ cock. feeling like a bunch of stars at washed over your blurred vision, almost pushing you into further submission of him.

you panted deeply, trying to catch your breath feeling him plunge into your cunt one last time before his release had throughly coated your walls with his cum.

he was heavily breathing whilst he hovered over your quivering body, staying completely inside of you; keeping you full of his cum and clenched around his prick.

“that’s what happens when you’re late, m’dear.”

taglist: @fathermarty @idk-maybe-snape-did-it @kittykylax @terr0rizer @aspiringsloth20 @maddoxsmythologicalmind @georgeswh0re @amourtentiaa @dear-luna @famdomhideout @hufflepogue

[fweasleyswhore]

Ok this might be a little long so I’m sorry but finals got me feeling some sort of way. So could you do a fic where it’s finals week and the fem!reader is stressed about what of her NEWTS that Oliver doesn’t have and it’s really late in the library, so late that the librarian isn’t even there because the reader had a key to lock up. And Oliver knows the reader has a tendency to lose track of time and work herself to the bone without really noticing. So he stops by the library to pick her up and basically has to carry her out of the library. And he takes her to his dorm instead because he knows everyone else is sneaking out to party and hogsmeade because they’ve finished whatever newts they had and he knows if he took the reader to her dorm she would keep working. And he’s like “you need some stress relief” and he’s touching her leg but she’s so tired and he’s like “you just lay there and let me do all the work” and it’s just a soft romantic smut and he keeps going until she’s exhausted (like she finishes a couple times ~3) I’m so sorry this is so long I just needed to get this out of my mind

a/n: fucking yes, and as someone who is in finals week i just, need that rn, like oliver to fuck me so good and sleep away the stress just, yes so here you go darling! sorry it took me a hot min to get to

general tags: @fredshmeasley @pandaxnienke

oliver tags: @peachyy-em @losers-club6

word count: 2.7k 

warnings: smut, 18+ themes, soft romantic smut, fingering/oral fem recieving, unprotected sex

My eyes hurt but I continued scanning my advanced potion book. My N.E.W.T. was next week and I was one of five students who decided to take this class. I was intrigued by potions, having been all my life, so being able to take the highest level class Hogwarts offered I jumped. Of course, I was not very fond of Snape, or how he treated his students but the subject matter was enough to get me through. I felt the weight of the library key in my pocket as I stood up to put some of my books back. Although my stack was getting smaller it wasn’t yet completely finished.

Adjusting the candle my eyes stung as the light flickered. Despite the pain, I set the candle down opening the chapter Chizpurfle Carapace trying to memorize its effects and uses.

“Thought I would find you here.” The voice made me jump causing the candle to turn over and spill wax all over the table. My shock faded and I was filled with anger, swiveling in my chair prepared to hex whoever caused it. My eyes softened when I saw him.

His tongue in his cheek and a worried expression cast over his face as he examined the area. Silently I watched him pull out his wand, casting a spell under his breath his eyes didn’t meet mine.

“Ollie what are you doing here?” I asked. He shifted on his feet, finally pulling his eyes up to mine.

“Looking for my beautiful girl of course.” His words were accompanied by a cheeky grin, confidence rolling off of him in waves. I felt my face heat up but I pushed my feelings aside turning back to my book.

“I need to study,” I said quietly trying to hide my face under the pages of my book.

“No. You need to rest.” He moved in front of me. Successfully capturing my book is his hands and closing it. Deciding against fighting him, knowing of his iron grip I looked up at him. He looked ethereal in the low candle light, towering over me. A soft smile spread across my face just admiring his features.

“I’m not on the Quidditch team you can’t order me around you know.”

“I damn will try.” His words came out with a half hearted laugh.

“Seriously I need to study, can I-” Right when I reached for the book he pulled it out of my reach, a glint in his eye I couldn’t quite read.

“You can try to fight me for your book back, a fight you will lose. Try to study with another book of which I will take from you and bring you back to option one, or you can come out of this dingy library with me and take a break.”

“But I don’t need a break-”

“Yes. You. Do. Now, up.” He held out his free hand for me to take. Sighing I grabbed it, like a truck I felt the days and tireless hours of study finally catch up to me. I faltered slightly as I stood feeling my body try and weigh myself down like a bag of bricks. “Easy now, I got you.”

I felt his arm slip around my waist, offering more support and I leaned into it. Putting the book down on the desk I was as he grabbed his wand, sending the books back into their proper places.

“Thank you Ollie.” He hummed pressing a light kiss to my temple and led me out of the library. I didn’t pay much attention to walking as he led me away, pushing my face into his chest. I breathed in his familiar and distinct scent. Cinnamon Gum, hints of leather and oak. It made me smile and my stomach flip, the only thing convincing me that it wasn’t a dream being I felt his ever present arms around me.

“Key?” He asked, closing the doors with the arm not around me.

“Pocket, here.” I shoved my hands into my pocket, rummaging around for a second before depositing it in his palm. Our fingers touched and the skin on skin contact made fireworks erupt in my body, the feeling of his hand became more present on my waist as I let my mind wander to the other things his hands can do.

“Cmon, why are you standing there like a statue. Let’s go.” His words snapped me out of my daze and I forced my legs to walk, hiding my face in his shoulder as we walked, trying to diminish the thoughts of him in more precarious ways.

My eyes were half closed as we walked back through the portrait hole, trusting Oliver to dispose of me back in my dorm. Finally I fell back against a bed, letting my body relax into it and blinking around trying to see where we are.

“Is this your dorm?” I asked as he pulled off my boot.

“Yeah, I don’t trust you to not go right back to your books when I leave you alone, also I never minded some company.” Pulling off the other boot, he discarded it on his floor and sat beside me. Pushing some stray hairs away from my face. “Can I help?”

I smiled weakly, leaning into his touch. “No, I’m just really stressed. It will be better after the exams pass.” He hummed. I watched his eyes wander to different points in his room, never staying in one place too long. A cheeky smirk found his face and he stopped his searching looking down at me.

“I have an idea.”

“What’s that?” I leaned up, a shiver of excitement tore through me, waking me slightly.

“Let me help you calm down darling.” His hands stopped playing with my hair, they trailed down to my neck, then my chest and finally my thigh. Where he let his hands trail lightly on the skin, moving in small meaningless patterns leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

“Ollie, I’m tired.” I reminded, catching his drift. The idea did sound wonderful, I just wasn’t interested in foreplay and giving tonight. The idea felt unfair.

“Let me do all the work, can you let me do that for you darling?” He began grabbing my thigh more roughly, the feeling sent shivers down my spine and my stomach flipped in anticipation. He continued, cocking his eyebrow at me.

“Please.” I gave in, the feeling of arousal winning the fight against my tired state. “I need you.”

“That's what I like to hear.” He laughed before leaning down and catching my lips in a kiss. It was slow but it was enough with his added touch to quicken my heart rate. He brought his hand up my thigh, stroking it softly until he got to my underwear, which most definitely soaked at the point. Running his finger up and down my clothed sex he chuckled lightly, pulling away. My lips tried to follow but he got too far, opening my eyes I caught onto his cocky grin.

“Tired are we?” He teased. I let out a short hiff of annoyance preparing to push back but before I could he had pushed my panties aside, thumbing my clit gently. Letting out a soft moan I relaxed pushing my head into his thigh. Everything drained from my mind at the feeling, my body went limp, twitching at the slightest touch.

“Feel good sweetheart?” I nodded in response unable to conjure up words at the given moment. His fingers sped up at my response, working quickly with my slick to make me see stars.

“So good.” I breathed out. My eyes fluttered open to see him smiling at me, the shit eating grin told me my reactions were feeding his ego but the feeling spreading through my body was enough to distract me from caring. He began to thumb with a little more pressure. I felt my hips buck into his touch on their own accord, meeting his every move with ferocity. His other hand came up to stroke my hair, running through it gently and scratching my scalp with his fingers. The feeling felt amazing paired with his work below.

“Come on baby,” He coaxed, picking up his pace below. “Cum darling, let go.” I nodded, screwing my eyes shut and shoving my face into his thigh I let out a languid moan as he worked me through my orgasm, never stopping the rhythm of his hand. I bucked into his touch until it became too much and my hips fell against the bed, he understood, slowing his hand down and going back to stroking my thigh.  

“Thank you.” I whispered, a lazy smile found its way to my mouth, batting my eyes up at him.

“I hope you don’t think I'm done with you yet.” he laughed.

“What do you mean?”

“What is the use of… Fluxweed?”

“It has healing properties but can be used in the Polyjuice potion if your sample is picked on the full moon.” I recounted my knowledge on the subject, my books flooding into my mind. “But what does this have to do with anything right now?”

“I don’t want you to be thinking about that right now, I want you to relax.”

“What did you expect? You asked.” A small giggle escaped my lips before I could stop it. Wishing I did when he glared at me.

“I mean,” He said with an eye roll. “When I am done with you I don’t want you to remember what a potion is.” I gulped at his words, his intentions sending a shiver down my spine, feeling myself growing wetter.

“Then I suggest you get to work.” I challenged. He smirked and changed his position on the bed. Hovering over my I finally got a good look at his face.

“You know I suggest you stop back talking if you want me to do this.” I smiled, leaning up I pecked his cheeks which soon took a rosy glow. “I’ll take that as an apology.” I giggled again as he started crawling down my body, peppering kisses to my abdomen that still tickled even through my clothes.

He settled himself between my thighs, pushing up my skirt, he pressed a few kisses to my hips in doing so. He was gentle as if too much pressure would cause me to shatter.

Hooking his fingers into my panties he pulled them down, I helped him by killing them off.

“So pretty,” Pressing another kiss to my folds I giggled at the contact. “My pretty baby.” He lapped a stripe up my folds, making me moan out and buck into his mouth. His hands were on my thighs, rubbing up and down and holding me in place to stop me from doing that again. He soon attached his tongue to my clit, lapping it and sucking gently every so often. The feeling was indescribable, his mouth was skilled and it made my brain foggy. I felt my orgasm quickly build, the pit in my stomach growing with every second of his teasing.

“Just like that,” I breathed out. My hands travelled up under my shirt, squeezing my breasts with instinct. The added feeling added to the fever growing in my stomach. I picked up my head, I tried to meet his eyes. They were staring intently into mine, pupils dark, almost swallowing his iris, a physical indication of his lust. When our eyes met his pace quickened, his lips surrounded my clit, sucking on it while lapping on it with his tongue. “Ollie!” I screamed his name as I came for the second time, arching my back and screwing my eyes shut in the process. He hummed against my clit, working me through my orgasm. His grip on my thighs tightened as they spasmed and tried to close around him.

Pulling back he rested his head on my thigh, placing chaste pecks to my skin. “You did great baby, can you do another one?”

My eyes widened in shock that he wanted to continue but my core ached for more. “Please?” I asked.

“How about another one on my fingers and then you can have my cock?” He purred.

I nodded feverishly. Excitement growing in my stomach, fueling my arousal.

“Spread your legs baby.” He ordered pushing on my thighs. I pulled them up and to the side of my torso. “So pretty, spread out and wet for me.”

“Only for you.” I whispered back.

“That’s what I like to hear.” He plunged a finger into my dripping heat. I clenched around him from the sudden intrusion, moaning as he curved his finger to hit deep inside me just right.

“You like that?” He sped up his finger as he asked, moving it in and against my walls.

“Yes m-more please.” He chuckled darkly, adding another finger and thrusting them to hit the spot inside of me. I moaned at the contact, he made the connection and began thrusting against the spot with more fever. Intermittently scissoring them to open me up.

I felt my muscles twitch as his speed picked up, my stomach twisted with pleasure. He wrapped his lips around my clit and began sucking while continuing his ministrations below.

“Ollie, ‘m gonna cum.” I breathed out, my hips bucked into his touch. Throwing my head back I came hard onto his fingers, my release making obscene noises against his thrusts.

“So good princess.” He cooed. Pulling his fingers out he picked himself up, situated himself between my thighs. He picked up my shaky legs, wrapping them around his hips. I watched him through heavy eyes, he released his cock from his trousers, pulling it free I noted the precum leaking from his pink tip. The sight making me want to drool.

“You want to keep going baby? We can stop if you want to.” He ran his hands up and down my quivering thighs.

“Want you, inside me.” I whimpered, my brain was cloudy and I felt tired but not completely satisfied and I needed more.

With that he pushed completely inside of me in one thrust. He paused, his hips flush with mine, his pelvis rocked against my clit causing me to clench around his length eliciting a groan from him. “Move.” He did as I asked and began to thrust into me at a slow and sensual pace. He brought his head down attaching his lips to mine, one holding himself up the other gripping my hip as he steadily pumped into me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Seemingly understanding my message he dropped to his forearm, his chest pressing against mine. The feeling was erotic, it made the romantic feeling multiply and his thrusts feel all the more deep I loved it truly.

He attached his mouth to my neck, leaving open mouthed kisses against it. I tangled my hands in his hair, pulling on it each time he hit the spot inside of me. “You're such a beautiful princess.” He whispered against the shell of my ear. I moaned in response, unable to talk back in my brain fog.

He thrusted into me again rocking his hips against me as he bottomed out, rubbing against my clit. The feeling made the coil snap within me. My walls clenched around him as I let out a languid moan. He grunted into my neck, continuing his pace until he stuttered, bottoming out and spilling his seed inside of me. He rocked slowly, fucking his cum inside of me before gingerly pulling out with hiss. I was shaking as he did so, letting out a whine and throwing my head back against his pillows.

I tried to slow my ragged breaths as he laid down next to me.

“Better now?” He asked, running a few fingers through my hair. I nodded breathlessly, swallowing hard. “What is the use of a Fairy Wing?” A faint smile on his mouth as he asked.

“Ollie you know honestly, right now, I don’t care.” I laughed. Eying him from the corner of my vision I couldn’t miss the cocky smile that broke out on his face. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“You didn’t have to!”

“Ugh, come here.” He wrapped me in his strong arms, burying my face in his chest I breathed in his scent, his heartbeat was a constant drum that lulled me to sleep, feeling satisfied and safe in his arms.

[whump-town]

Stubborn

Everybody taking care of old Hotch because... I don't like it when old Hotch gets left to just die on his own :( don't ask why that's where I draw the line

No pairings

No warnings

In Jack’s second semester of his junior year, Hotch collapses again. He’s home this time, out in his garden under the glaring sun. The day had begun no different than any other. The birds on the powerline chirping and causing their disturbances, as eager for the day to begin as the school-aged children shouting in the street. He’d watched them from the sliding glass door facing the street, his tea warm in his hands. He’d waved at a few, the older ones who recognize him as a mystifying adult with stories to be unlocked. The younger children give him a face akin to a monster’s, his mystery horrifying in their already confusing enough lives.

It’s an hour before lunch. Two hours before Spencer shows up because it’s Thursday and he teaches a class on this side of town every Tuesday and Thursday at 2. One that he occasionally asks Hotch to attend -- as a guest lecturer, as a treat to his students, or just for the company.

He could call just about anyone.

Emily’s downtown, on her way back from a meeting with the Department of Justice. She’d be thrilled for an excuse to not go back to the office and spend an hour or two in his kitchen telling him about those pretentious assholes.

Garcia’s about ten minutes away, working at a nonprofit teaching “at-risk” kids how to code. Being the guiding hand she’d needed as a teenager so that they might not repeat the same mistakes she made. She was lucky, Hotch saved her but he’s not around to catch any more kids like her.

Morgan got hired by a family two streets over to fix up their house before they move in. He’s there now, tearing out rotting beams.

This collapse is not of the life-threatening kind. Not to Hotch at least. There’s no internal bleeding, no emergency surgeries. He doesn’t even need stitches but he’s on so many medications that thin his blood that it’s just on the safer side. From the hospital, he calls who he needs to. Reid first, he’ll worry when he gets to Hotch’s house and sees his truck gone. Then, Jack, it’s better to hear this sort of thing from him and not Emily in half an hour when she needs to yell at someone and who better than the son of the idiot she hates right now? Dave and Emily follow and he trusts them to carry the news the rest of the way. Rather, he simply doesn’t want to talk about it anymore and he’d rather Garcia and JJ and Morgan and everyone else just be mad at him than go on to have another conversation about how he’s feeling.

Fine. He just got light-headed. It was the heat and his perpetually low iron and probably his thin blood (the killer had been his blood pressure but they’re working on that). He just needs to get better about remembering to eat breakfast -- a larger breakfast than just tea and toast. Fainting, he assures Dave, happens. Jack’s seen it happen. The heat makes it worse, the summertime drains him. He’s come in from the garden and gotten weak in the knees plenty of times. He actually moved some chairs around the sliding glass door to the yard, prepared for this exact problem.

This over clarification does not help.

Made only the more complicated when he explains his head is fine. The fainting thing really isn’t a big deal, he just needs a ride home. He’d landed weirdly and pulled his back. He left with a new problem entirely, a torn ligament in his shoulder. That is a problem for a different day.

The surgery is set for the week just before Jack’s finals. Armed with a suitcase full of textbooks, his laptop, notes from this semester (and a few from last), and just enough clothes to recycle a few and still be fine, Jack shows up on his father’s doorstep. “I mean, the hospital isn’t exactly the library… but it’s not the worst place I’ve studied.” It’s far too late to send Jack back but Hotch is reluctant to let him stay. Even if he does prefer Jack be his ride rather than the likes of Penelope and that tiny green eye-sore of a car she drives or leave him to Reid and his defensive, jerky driving.

To the sound of “Aaron Hotchner November 2, 1971”, Jack settles down with his books. He tries to put himself in the right headspace for studying but it’s harder than he anticipated. The constant motion of the room unsettles him and he looks up several times to see his father’s reaction. To gauge the anxiety in his face, in the deep breathes that he pulls in through his nose. In how tight his fists are holding the sheets underneath him. It’s a simple surgery and they’ll be out of here in no time.

“Young” his heart had not handled the heavy sedatives and morphine well. Then again, those incidents are always hard to measure against a thing like this. Rushed into the ER with nine chest wounds and having nearly bled to death, it’s natural to conclude the stress of his depleted blood supply and his very recent trauma had caused his heart to stop on the table. That said trauma was the reason his heart had maintained to be a steady problem up until they released him. Again, when he was brought in with some of the worst internal bleedings the staff had ever seen. His heart had given them trouble too.

Jack is staring blankly at his flashcards when the doctor comes out.

Hotch had gone to Georgetown to be a lawyer like his father and his grandfather. Jack went to Georgetown to get an Art History degree. He was lead by something else. Not chasing some shadow, clutching at a lie he spoonfed himself. Jack didn’t live in anyone’s shadow, never felt the pressure to look and act a certain way. Was never beaten into submission or told to hold his tongue. Jack went to museums every Saturday with his father, preferred them to the aquariums and the zoo. Hotch held him close to the artwork, pushed his dense schedule around to go to new shows, and learned the names of pieces just to recite the knowledge back to Jack.

In his lap, Jack is memorizing pieces of art like his father had years ago for him. He’s stuck on The Anatomy Lesson, eyes glued to the details. The way colorless skin is held in forceps, peeled back to reveal angry red. He can feel the pinching teeth on his own skin, feels the heavy flow of hot blood spilling down over his arm.

“Hotchner?”

Jack flinches, caught completely off guard. He stands, flushing as he tucks his notecards into his textbook, and stands. “Ugh, yeah. That’s me.” He wipes his hands off on his pants, rubbing away the nervous sweat he’s built up.

The doctor recognizes him from earlier. He’d watched Jack and Hotch get out one last goodbye. Jack pulling up a nervous smile, dirty-blonde hair, and light eyes a complete contrast to Hotch’s ever-darkening features. Somehow more solemn, voice taken by the sedatives already working through his body. He hadn’t said a word, eyes vacantly following Jack’s movements but unaware.

Jack expects the same monologue he hears every time. The one that comes out so dry and perfect that they must practice it in front of the mirror, say it softly to themselves as they as they get ready each morning. He’s got it memorized himself -- the bits about recovering in post-op, make a full recovery, and whatever on the fly timeline they give for access back to the room.

“But he’s-- He’s okay? He’s--”

Jack feels impossibly childish. Five years old and Emily’s chilled fingers brushing his tears away, “baby, I know you miss your mommy. But you’re being so terribly mean to your daddy.” He had been, a terrible little monster squirming away from his father and refusing to eat anything. Throwing tantrums about nothing and everything. Screaming and crawling under his bed every chance he got. Pushing himself to the wall knowing he couldn’t be reached.

Now he can remember Hotch just sitting at the edge of the bed. There on the floor for hours. Sometimes he read, would pick up a book, and just start from wherever just to make it so his voice was reaching where he couldn’t. He slept there too, on the hard ground just to make sure Jack knew he was there. Slipped strawberry pop tarts on crazily designed animal plated under there, offered bites of his own food to the darkness under the bed. Sippy cups full of chocolate milk and juice.

He feels like a little boy again, getting news that he has no idea how to handle.

“He’s okay?” Jack stammers. “He’s going to be okay? I can see him?”

Hotch remembers those days under the bed too. Waking up in the middle of the night as Jack groggily curled close to him, still under the bed but crawling under his blanket. The ends of those awful sobs, Jack’s little chest jerking as he hiccuped. The force of his sorrow was too much for his little body. And Jack would fall into his lap, exhausted and needing comfort. His little fingers tracing the scars on Hotch’s face. How he whispered “thank you” and “please” from underneath the bed and how he’d pop his head out to say, “Daddy, I’m going to potty. I’ll be right back.”

Jack’s legally old enough to drink now and Hotch still sees that little boy. The three-year-old wiping his snot on Hotch’s dress shirt. The six-year-old holding his hand and reminding him to look both ways twice before crossing the street. The eight-year-old he left the hallway light on for, old enough now to think he needed to brave the night without a nightlight. So Hotch would offer to keep the hallway light on, not for Jack but for him because he doesn’t like the dark. The ten-year-old sheepishly offering him a father’s day gift he bought with saved allowance, a t-shirt he’s now worn the words off of. The fifteen-year-old curling up beside him on the couch, seeking his comfort but not sure how to ask anymore. The eighteen-year-old as tall as him talking his ear off while he tries to get dinner ready, sticking his fingers in the pan and sitting on the counter.

How did he grow up so fast?

He’s not a little boy anymore. Hasn’t been for a long time.

The creaking of a chair moves Hotch’s attention and he looks away from Jack. Away from the sight of his little boy curled up on a cot, drooling onto a pillow and notebook still open, a pen dangling from his fingers. He looks over and Emily’s sitting up, her reading glasses precariously sat on the tip of her nose. “Oh look,” she mumbles. She stretches out, groaning as her joints complain from being held in this miserable hospital chair for hours. “You’ve decided to join the land of the living.”

Hotch watches her fold the thin black frames of her glasses up, gently sits them down by his hand as she stands up. Jack had called her, even though he promised he wouldn’t worry anyone. Hotch didn’t want anyone else coming to the hospital over something so small and though Jack protested that their concern wouldn’t be because he was bothering them but because they love him. The very same reason he’d come home is that people gather after these sorts of things. They need reassurance that he’s alive and he’s just going to have to accept that. They compromised in the end, everyone could come to smother him in worry after he got home from the surgery.

But Jack was scared. He called the only person he could think to, the woman whose role in his life that was never really clear. She’d gotten on him about his grades, smacked the back of his head when he said something stupid, and always let him taste-test her wine at Thanksgiving dinner. Emily knew things that not even Jessica knew and she could be sterner than both Hotch and Jessica and also more relaxed, more understanding. She was always there for both of them, in the same capacity as Jessica and yet her own unique one. A friend Hotch trusted and loved and Jack could understand that. His friends always wanted to know if they were dating and he knew intuitively that the answer was no but he would hesitate to try and explain. But he didn’t understand the gravity that pulled them together, adults and their relationships far too complex to fit it into his simple understanding of love.

He did understand she was the only person to call.

“What’d he do this time?” she asked and knew she was playing the wrong role for the wrong Hotchner because no sooner than she could ask she had an armful of Jack. She sat with Jack for hours, let him get his fear out. Held him while he sobbed, felt pulled to the past. When it was Aaron on her shoulder, terrified he’d lose his son. Life has this very odd way of bringing everything full circle.

“I bet you’re hurting.” Emily moves to the table and pours water into the little paper Dixie cup left by the nurses. “Been right dramatic this afternoon,” she informs him, a dissatisfied matter-of-fact tone in play. “I know you find that to be particularly taxing.” She holds the cup for him, gentle despite her annoyance. She’s close enough to see the iodine on his skin. Dark orange swipes across his pale skin, the smell burns with its strength.

He pulls greedily from the cup, mouth impossibly dry. Stopped only by how little she poured, he sinks back heavily into the pillows behind him. His shoulder hot and angry from forcing himself upright.

“They’re going to let you go in the morning,” she says, sitting back down. He won’t remember this in the morning. Emily holding his hand, whispering thickly how angry she is with him as tears fall down her face. How scared she was getting that phone call from Jack, racing down here to be a composed person to comfort his son thinking her best friend was in the morgue.

He’ll wake up with a pit in his stomach, residual feelings from the night before he can’t tie down to memories. Emily shows no inclination to repeat herself, just coldly informs him that she’ll have Penelope make him a cardiologist appointment (it’s unspoken that no one trusts him to do this himself). Jack walks on glass, close by but terrified of being pushed away. Hotch is too out of it to put up much of a fight, by the time the morning shift has their hands on him he’s silent. Properly dosed up for a ride home and out of his mind.

He’s groggily propped up on pillows, watching Jack and Emily fight over if he has the right to wear shoes or not. Emily wants to hold them captive, he won’t run off or refuse the wheelchair without them and Jack shakes his head, “he’s not our P.O.W, Emily. He’s even going to get that far if he does try to run.” He’s given his shoes but Emily makes a point to collect his cane, holds it while the nurse helps him into the wheelchair. He’s a flight-risk and she’s not going to trust him, he’s run off on her too many times for that.

At the house the other’s have gathered up, having nothing better to do evidently on a Wednesday at ten in the morning. Penelope’s frying eggs and bacon, the carnage it takes to feed their brood spread out on his kitchen counter. Reid sitting on the counter, Hank in his lap, and the two of them watching Penelope. Derek’s on the sofa, feet kicked up on the coffee table, and Savannah learning on his shoulder. Dave’s getting orange juice from the store declared them all lawless, and didn’t trust them to get the right kind.

Hotch is granted his cane to get back inside the house but Emily threatens to kick it out from underneath if he tries anything fast. He smacks her ankle and Jack has to actually step between them to keep them apart. It’s in times like these where Jack finds himself wondering how these two ever had any role in raising him at all.

“Don’t you have jobs?” Hotch asks, hooking his cane over the coat rack and toeing his shoes off. He ignores the hand Emily places on his arm, afraid he’ll knock himself over. He manages just fine, has the whole house set up so that every other step is within arms distance of something to lean on. Fingers trailing the back of the couch he limps past Derek, smiling when Savannah offers a soft “glad you’re okay”. She pats his hand and he nods back.

“Up for some food, sir?” Penelope asks and she’s not taking no for an answer. They might be having heaping servings of eggs and bacon and gravy and orange juice but she’s made two small bowls of oatmeal. She takes the medicine Jack tosses up on the counter, puts it at the end where the rest of his medication sits. “I cut up apples,” she tells Hotch with a wide grin, sliding the bowl in front of him. “Dashed a little cinnamon and sugar in there, it’ll stick to your bones. Keep you healthy.”

He’s at a healthy weight at the moment, not as thin as he leans to when he’s sick but with Hotch, it’s always a good thing to have some collateral weight for the “in case”. Lifting the spoon in his left hand he scoops some of the oatmeal up, doing his best to hide his annoyance at how weak his extremities still are. How his hand shakes under the light strain of the oatmeal. He looks up, watches Spencer carry Hank over to the highchair sitting at the table beside him. He’s distracted so Emily swoops in, takes his spoon from his hand, and tries his oatmeal. He lets her do it. He raises an eyebrow and she shrugs. She likes it. He nods, it’s pretty good.

Hank immediately knocks his spoon on the ground and makes a low whining sound in the back of his throat. “Hop help,” he whines, pointing down at his spoon. His speech is still developing so he pronounces help and hop nearly identically but Hotch understands the difference. He just can’t bend over like that. His right arm is still pinned to his chest in an intricate web of gauze and this sling.

“Reid,” Hotch calls. His voice is deep, strained from intubation and anesthesia. It makes him sound sick. “He’s dropped his spoon.”

Reid nods, he already knows.

Hank points to his shoulder and frowns, “Hop fall down?”

Hotch nods, that is pretty much what happened and at the same time, Emily sweeps in and tickles Hank. She presses kisses to his face and making him laugh loudly. “That’s what happens,” she says. “Hops is just old.” Hank is too distracted by the ongoing attack to defend Hotch not that a toddler rising to his defense is very helpful.

Hotch sighs as Jack comes up behind him, stealing his spoon too. He takes a bite of the oatmeal and deems it nearly as good as the kind that Jessica makes. Hotch wants to be annoyed by it and yet all he does is nod and finds himself smirking just a little.

Penelope calls everyone in for breakfast and Hotch ignores the kisses pressed to his cheek as people drag chairs to the table around him. To the hands that slide over his back, assurance of life he remembers Jack calling it.

Derek slides him a mug of tea, made exactly how he likes it. He sits across from Hotch, close to Hank in case either needs assistance. Emily sits to his left, slides her coffee up beside his tea so he can have some if he’s quick about it. Jack sits beside her and the rest is a blur, too much motion at once for him to take in without his contacts or glasses. Penelope slides a tea plate to him, his medicine on it, and kisses his head while he’s still scowling at the plate.

They don’t leave him alone all day.

He ends up taking a nap with Hank, the toddler’s sticky little fingers holding onto his shirt as he finds himself unable to fight off the effects of the medicine and his full stomach.

He’s squished on the couch between Derek and Dave, forced to watch baseball because he can’t worm his way upright again just yet.

They change the dressings on his shoulder, his teeth clenched tightly so that he doesn’t let anything slip.

At midnight he wakes up on the couch. Jack’s bedroom door is shut, he’s sleeping peacefully inside. His heating blanket is pulled up to his chin, the heat turned up all the way. He can’t remember getting into this state himself but he has a fate memory of JJ helping him move his hand to his mouth, encouraging him to take the pain killers before bed. Of Derek making sure he didn’t just fall straight over onto his side. He manages to find Dave stretched out on the Lazyboy -- the chair he got Hotch for his fifty-something birthday. He’ll wake up in the morning to more food being made in his lonely kitchen, JJ this time. She’ll make blueberry waffles.

If he’d wanted attention, Emily will tease the next morning, he could have just asked. And he didn’t even know he wanted this. He never finds the words to ask for it to continue but every Saturday morning it happens anyway -- his kitchen and living room full of pajamas and suits in varying degrees depending on who has what to do that morning. The fainting thing is not cool but he considers this to be a good trade.

[krisdreaming]

PART 2 | A PLAN

｢ Masterlist ｣  |  Next >

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x gn!reader

Summary: Somehow, you ended up agreeing to bring your non-existent boyfriend to the family Christmas gathering at your grandparents’. Your chem lab partner and fast friend, Kuroo Tetsurou, agrees to play the part. Your developing feelings for him won’t cause any problems, right?

WC: 1.7k

A/N: As you’ll (maybe) notice there are a few small tidbits I lifted from the original fic, but this is very different from it in a lot of ways! I hope it isn’t seeming too repetitive for those of you who have read the first one. Also, I know it’s a bit of a slow start, but I promise it’ll really get going in the next part.

You plan to meet Kuroo at the coffee shop again a week later. This time, you beat him there, which gives you the perfect opportunity to gather your thoughts. As you wait in line to order, you remind yourself for the hundredth time that this is really happening. Kuroo Tetsurou with his messy hair and his teasing jabs and that stupid smile has agreed to spend three whole days pretending to be your boyfriend. What could possibly go wrong?

Luckily, before your mind can concoct an answer, your turn to order comes up. Remembering last week, you order a cup of black coffee in addition to your usual macchiato. It’s a french roast, described as “dark and bold” on the menu. For the guy who reminds you daily that adding anything to coffee is only for the weak, it seems fitting. The comment is always paired with a teasing wink that shoots right to your middle, but that’s definitely not what you need to focus on as you carefully carry the two mugs to a table by the window.

You get situated and you’ve just taken your first sip when Kuroo plops down across from you. “Hey.”

“Hey! Here,” You push the mug in his direction.

“Oh,” He peers into the mug and gives a small, approving nod, “Thanks, you didn’t have to do that.”

“It’s for last week,” You say with a wave of your hand, watching as he lifts it to his lips and takes the first sip. When he sets it back down, he holds the mug in front of himself with both hands.

“You were right,” He says suddenly, “This coffee shop is better than the one on campus.”

“Oh really?” You grin smugly.

“Don’t look too proud of yourself,” He laughs, lifting his mug and taking another sip, “You’re the one who has to hire a fake boyfriend.”

“I didn’t hire you,” You snap back quickly, “And it was your idea, if you’ll recall.” You sigh, propping your chin on your hand. Judging by the expression on his face, he’s already enjoying this far too much.

“Details, details,” He waves his hand. “Doesn’t matter. I am curious, though. Why exactly did you tell your family you have a boyfriend when you don’t?” The question comes from a place of genuine curiosity, but you still feel your cheeks begin to burn. You glance down into your own mug so you don’t have to look him in the eye.

“It just gets old, you know?” You mumble to your coffee. “Having everyone ask about it at every family gathering. It seemed so easy to just make up a tiny story. It wasn’t supposed to get this big,” You laugh weakly. “I know it was stupid to lie. I guess I just didn’t want them to be disappointed in me.”

“I get that,” He says softly. “But hey, what do you need me to do?”

You shrug. You haven’t thought about that end of things as much as you probably should have. “Just... be my boyfriend. Charm their socks off. I know you’ve got it in you.” You chuckle. “It’ll be nice to have someone there,” You add after a beat.

“Yeah?” He says, leaning in a little closer. You’re a bit surprised by how much he genuinely seems to care. Half of you had expected him to treat this whole thing like it’s a big, elaborate joke.

“A lot of my cousins have significant others already. Maybe that’s why I felt like I had to make one up. Sometimes I just feel like the odd one out. Don’t get me wrong, I love them,” You add quickly, “But it’s just…”

“I get it,” He saves you from your floundering. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be there. And as an honorary grandson, tell your grandma she can feed me as much as she likes.”

You stifle your laughter behind your fingers. “You think it’s a joke, but she might just take that as a personal challenge,” You shake your head, already feeling a little bit lighter. “Anyway, we need details, don’t we? About our ‘relationship’?” You lift your hands to make exaggerated air quotes.

“Probably a good idea,” He nods, “How awkward would it be if our stories didn’t match?”

“I’d rather not think about it.” You squeeze your fingers tighter around your mug. “So we started dating a few weeks into the school year, I guess?”

“Sure, makes sense,” He props his chin on his fist, his lips curling into a half smile as a teasing tone cuts into his voice, “And was it love at first sight?”

You think back to that first day of class. You’d been running late because you were having trouble finding the room. You’d slid into one of the few open seats left, next to that ridiculous head of hair, and you’d glanced at him in a silent apology as he flashed you a quick smile. Love? Probably not, but you can’t forget the slight leap you’d felt in your middle and chalked up to nerves.

“Why not?” You say lightly instead, adopting his teasing tone. “And for our first date… we saw a movie, then came here for coffee after. That’s normal, right?”

“Sounds like it to me,” He shrugs. “And you can call me Tetsurou. I don’t mind. Or even Tetsu.”

You think about it for a moment, mentally testing the words on your tongue. His full name seems strange enough, never mind shortening it to a nickname. “Tetsurou,” You clear your throat, “Tetsurou is fine. Thanks. And you can call me Y/N.”

“Perfect. Y/N.” He says it experimentally, a strange small smile on his face. Something in the air between you feels just a little heavier, but you push forward before you can think about it too much.

“And I should warn you,” You run your fingertip absently around the edge of your mug, “My grandma is going to show you every single photo she’s ever taken of me. Last year, it took her almost an hour to get through them with my cousin’s girlfriend.”

“Oh, perfect, I was running out of things to make fun of you about,” He just barely dodges your hand as you reach across the table to swat him.

“And my family loves all kinds of games, so we’ll probably end up playing a lot of different ones,” You continue, choosing to ignore the playful jab. “So I hope that’s not too boring for you.”

“Are you kidding? Boring is sitting at home with my dad and eating the dinner he ordered from the store. Honestly? I’m looking forward to this. Christmas with your family sounds kind of like paradise.” He looks into his mug for a few moments before lifting it to his lips and draining the last swallows. “If you want the truth, I think you’re pretty lucky.” He finishes softly.

Your breath catches in your throat for a few moments. You forget, sometimes, that not everyone has a close, crazy, embarrassing family like yours. You open your mouth, but before you can come up with a response, his expressions shifts back to his easy smile as though he hadn’t said a word.

“We’re going to have a great time. I won’t let you down,” He lifts his hand, pinkie extended, and you don’t catch on right away. “Promise,” He prompts, sticking his hand out a little further. After a moment of hesitation, you reach out and link your pinkie with his. He grins.

“Thanks. Hopefully I don’t let me down,” You say with a chuckle, pulling away and lifting your mug to swallow the lukewarm dregs in the bottom. “I should be getting back,” You say as you set the mug back down, “I have a history exam before break starts, and I really need to study for it.”

“I should get back too, I have an assignment due tomorrow that I haven’t started yet,” He admits sheepishly.

“Tsk, tsk,”  You tease as you push back your chair and stand, knowing full well that you’re the last person who can scold him for procrastinating. Judging by his incredulous expression, he’s fully aware of that fact. Side by side, the two of you step out into the early winter darkness.

“Really though, thanks for helping me out,” You say as you start making your way down the sidewalk, your words puffing steam into the air, “I appreciate it.”

“Anytime,” He knocks his arm against yours. “To be honest, after all your talk about your grandma’s cooking, I might have tagged along even if I didn’t have to pretend to be your boyfriend,” He laughs.

“You certainly won’t go hungry,” You agree, “She’ll make sure of that. Just don’t blame me if it affects your volleyball physique.”

“Don’t worry, I’m naturally slender,” He pats his middle, “I’ve got the quickest metabolism you’ve ever seen.”

You shake your head with a chuckle. “If you say so.”

The remainder of the walk back to campus is relatively silent, the two of you walking with your hands shoved down in your pockets against the cold. Occasionally, his arm brushes against yours. It’s nice in a way, just being next to him like this. You don’t feel any pressure to fill the silence with mindless chattering, and he obviously doesn’t either. You’re content to just walk together through the chilly night.

Winter break starts in less than a week, and you and Kuroo will be leaving for your grandparents’. In an odd way, you’re looking forward to this. Of course you always enjoy spending the holiday with your family, but knowing that Kuroo will be there too has you anticipating it just a little more than usual.

You’re so lost in your thoughts that it takes a few moments to realize you’ve come to a stop in front of your dorm building. “Alright, guess I’ll see you in class Tuesday,” Kuroo says, lifting his hand in a wave.

“See you then,” You wave back, watching his retreating back for a few moments before turning to go inside. You close your hand into a light fist at your side, remembering the feel of his pinkie linked with yours. It isn’t until you’re back in your dorm that you realize that, despite the long walk in the chilly evening, you don’t feel cold at all.

[leafs-lover]

I wish you were here

A/N: This was requested. I thought about making this a fluff piece, but had a change of heart and re-wrote half of it. I just have a thing for Freddie, and not going to apologize for it ;)

Also I am really bad at coming up with titles

Summary: After a stressful couple of weeks apart Fred surprises you.

Warnings: Smut, swearing, NSFW

“Hey babe” you mumble into the phone. You look to your clock on your bedside table 4:17 is illuminated on the screen.

“Hey how’s it going?” he asks as you rub your eyes open.

“Good, just lying in bed” you say yawning.

“You sound tired” he says through the phone.

“Yeah most people are at 4am” you joke.

“Oh shoot. I’m sorry babe I didn’t even realize. Why did you answer?”

“We have been pretty busy, haven’t had much time to chat” you explain.

Fred returned to Denmark almost 8 weeks ago and you weren’t able to go with him due to the pandemic. You don’t have enough vacation days left; you would only have a couple days in Denmark.

You had only started dating in January, and when the NHL paused in March Fred tried to return to Denmark but the borders had closed prior to the pause. When Auston offered for Fred to quarantine in Arizona, Fred asked your thoughts on it.

If he stayed you would have to quarantine together otherwise you wouldn’t get to see him at all. That would have meant after only being together for 7 weeks you would temporarily move into his condo, and spend every second together for who knew how long. Neither of you really wanted to do that, it would be a lot of pressure on a new relationship so he opted to go to Arizona.

You hadn’t talked about labels, and didn’t know what to expect. While he was gone Fred would facetime with you once or twice a week, and you exchanged texts almost daily. He constantly complained about Auston’s terrible taste in TV shows, you complained about your roommate’s terrible attempt at baking.

You didn’t anticipate being in contact with Fred that much, but he always carved time to talk with you, he even sent you flowers a couple times and ordered you dinner from your favourite restaurant. Neither of you thought it would be almost 3 months before Fred would return to Canada.

But when he finally did, you were the first person he saw. You had just over 3 weeks together before he had to enter the bubble, and you spent much of that time together. It was so nice to have Fred back, cuddled up on the couch relaxing with him. When you finally saw him you melted into his touch, and your relationship felt like it had been catapulted forward instead of back even with the time apart.

When he went into the bubble, you didn’t expect to see him again until September, you wanted to see him but you hoped it would be three months, but it ended up being less than three weeks. He carried so much of the strain of that loss on himself, and you tried to tell him it was a team effort. The weight isn’t his alone, but the media and a lot of the fans had a different opinion. Everyone was calling for him to be traded, if the disappointing end to the season wasn’t enough that didn’t help.

He spent a couple weeks back in Toronto, but you could tell he was defeated and needed to get out. He needed to get away from the media, the rumours and spend time relaxing with his family. Fred tried to fight you on it, he wanted to stay and spend time with you. Obviously you did too, but you knew he needed this.

When he left the NHL had hoped on a December start to the season, meaning Fred would be coming back in October or early November. But as the date for the season got pushed so did his return date. You had some late nights at work, and with the time change it made it hard to talk all the time, so when you had the opportunity you took it. Leading you to this 4am phone call on a Saturday morning.

“Go back to bed skat, we can talk later” Fred says into the phone.

“No Freddie, we barely talked this week. Now that I have you on the phone I don’t want to hang up” you whine causing Fred to laugh.

“Okay, but if you get too tired Kære let me know. I don’t have any plans today so we can talk later.”

”I’m just going to make some coffee” you say getting out of bed and heading to your kitchen. ”I only planned on getting some groceries later so I can take a nap later if i want.” You start scooping the beans into the coffee maker, opting for a large pot due to the time.

”Wish I was there for your nap” Fred says to you.

”Mmm same. You are perfect for napping with” you respond.

”Oh yeah, why’s that?”

”Because you are perfect for cuddling with. I just fit perfectly in your arms, and you are like a pillow and a blanket in one.”

Fred laughs into the phone “you just use me for my body eh?”

“Well can you blame me?” you joke walking back to your bed with your mug in hand. “No I don’t actually, I mean it’s definitely nice –“

“Nice? My body is nice? That’s what you use to describe a haircut” he jokes.

“Obviously it’s much better than nice. I just meant it’s nice that you have that body, but I wouldn’t care if you didn’t. That’s not why I’m with you though.”

“Obviously not if you just think it’s nice” he mumbles jokingly. “How was your week?”

“It was so long, I had to stay late almost every night, and there was 3 nights I didn’t leave until after 9. My boss actually wanted me to work today but I had to say no. I felt like I was getting sick from lack of sleep, so it’s nice to have the weekend off.”

“You work so hard you deserve the time off” he says to you.

“Yeah, I have a couple vacation days left, maybe I’ll take a long weekend or something.”

“Yeah you should do that, don’t want to get run down working so much” Fred replies.

“But what would I do? I wouldn’t have enough days to fly to another province. And parts of Ontario are shutting down” you explain.

“Have a staycation, I’m sure a couple days doing nothing would be nice” he replies.

“Yeah I guess” you say.

“So how are my plants doing, kill them yet?”

“Nope, they are still alive, but I should get over there today to water them” you respond.

“When you say alive, do you mean alive and thriving or clinging to life?”

“Uhh, somewhere in the middle” you say causing Fred to laugh.

You continue to talk for another hour; you curl up in your bed wrapped tightly under your duvet. You can feel your eyes getting heavy, but you try to stay awake to talk to him. You are unsuccessful and end up dozing off.

When you return to work on Monday you talked to your boss who approved for you to take Friday and Monday off work, giving you a four day weekend. You are excited for your days off, but you have to get to end of day Thursday. Your week is filled with multiple zoom calls and long days, you are actually surprised your boss is okay with you taking time off.

When Wednesday comes you are completely drained. You had multiple meetings, angry clients and have to finish a project before you take off for the weekend. You were so busy you didn’t even notice you hadn’t had lunch until it was almost 3.

It’s almost 9pm when you walk through your door with some papers and dinner in hand when you hear your phone ring. Your apartment is dark and empty, your roommate away at her parents. You drop everything on your table, answering your phone as you head to your room to change.

“Hello?” you say not even looking at the caller-id, turning on your bedside lamp.

“Hi min kære, how are you?”

“Hey Freddie” you put him on speaker phone to change out of your work clothes. “I’m good, got home not too long ago.”

“Another late day eh?” he asks.

“Yeah I was trying to get my project done before my holidays tomorrow” you explain.

“Finish it?” he asks as you move to the kitchen to start eating dinner.

“Almost, should only take a couple hours tomorrow.” You look to your stove and see the time 9:09 illuminated on the screen. “Fred why are you calling so late; it’s like 3am there.”

“We haven’t talked since the weekend, and you haven’t sent many texts the past couple days” he says lightly.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’ve just been so busy with work. I’ve been having late days and have basically gone straight to bed. I also didn’t want to call you so late, I know you had a golfing trip one day” you begin to explain.

“Oh I know babe, you don’t have to explain. I just thought you could use a pick me up” Fred says to you.

“Honestly I would love one. My week has been brutal and it’s only Wednesday. Can’t wait for tomorrow” you say sitting at your table. You didn’t realize how stressed you had been until you sat down and thought about the week. The angry clients and long hours have really taken a toll on you. Stopping to think about things brings a lump to your throat, as you feel your eyes begin to well up.

“(Y/N) you there?” you hear through the phone. You zoned out trying to not cry, you thought you could wait until you got off the phone with Fred to break down. You were wrong, and now you are trying to stifle your tears so Fred doesn’t hear you, but are unsuccessful.

“Skat, what’s wrong?” he asks hearing your quiet sobs through the phone.

“I don’t know” you cry into the phone. “I don’t think I realized how stressed I am, and tired. Just everything. It’s a lot.”

You move to your bed and crawl under your duvet, wrapping yourself tightly into a cocoon. Fred stays on the other end; he doesn’t say anything for a while, letting you cry in silence. After a couple minutes your eyes begin to get heavy, as your sobs have stopped.

“I wish you were here” you say lightly.

“Me too kære” he says. He stays on the line while you lay in bed, not hanging up until he hears your soft breaths through the phone.        

“You should go” your boss says poking her head in your office at 3pm. “Start your weekend a couple hours earlier” she says smiling at you.

“You sure? I don’t want –“

“(Y/N) this place won’t fall apart without you, enjoy your time off.” With that your boss walks away, you shut down your computer and grab your jacket. You reach to grab your phone and see the blinking light. You unlock it to a text from Freddie.

F: Don’t forget to water my plants

Y/N: I watered them Monday…

F: That’s 3 days, you trying to kill them? ;)

You laugh at his message. Instead of responding you decide to go to his condo and send him a picture of you watering his plants. You jump in your car and head to his place. You park in the underground lot and make your way to the elevator. You walk down his hall and unlock his door when you hear music playing in the kitchen.

You don’t remember even listening to music when you were last here. Did someone break in? But who breaks in and plays music? You set your bag down and look around not noticing that anything missing or broken.  You walk through the living room and hear clattering in the kitchen and panic sets in someone is in here.

If you weren’t so panicked you would have noticed the bag in the living room, and the pair of shoes by the front door. You hear footsteps in the kitchen and turn around to run and hide when you feel hands on your hips.

They spin you around and pull you in tight to their chest and wrap their arms around your back. You go to push yourself off the person when you smell the familiar cologne.

“You’re off early” he mumbles kissing your head.

“Fred?” you whisper in disbelief, looking up at the person in front of you.

Your eyes meet his golden brown eyes, and red hair. You bring your hands up and stroke his beard “what are you doing here?”

Instead of answering you he smiles and kisses you. Your hand tangles into his hair when he pulls back slightly “I missed you” he mumbles against your lips.

“I missed you too” you say smiling. Without warning you jump, Fred catches you and carries you into the kitchen setting you on the counter.

“Can’t believe you’re here” you say pulling him to you for a kiss.

“I know, I didn’t know when I was going to come back but after last night I knew I had to come see you. Hearing you cry broke my heart, but the worst part was not being able to do anything about it.” He brushes a piece of your hair behind you ear “I booked a flight right after you fell asleep.”

He leans in to place a soft kiss on your lips, you snake your hands into his hair, stroking his beard on the way. You pull him closer, locking him in for a passionate kiss. You don’t want to ever be apart from him again, and you groan slightly when Fred pulls away from you.

“I wasn’t expecting you for a little bit longer. I wanted to have dinner ready when you got here to try and salvage the life from my plants” Fred jokes looking over at his wilting plant on his table.

You laugh “yeah sorry about that. I was doing a good job at it, then work got crazy and I didn’t get over here as often as I’d like” you explain to him.

Fred kisses your neck “its fine, I didn’t expect them to be alive” he mumbles.

“Rude” you say turning your neck to allow him more access as he peppers kisses. Fred laughs before walking away from you. He walks over to the cupboard and pulls out two wine glasses and pours you each a glass.

He walks back and hands you a glass, he puts his other hand beside you on the counter.

“When did you get in?” you ask.

“About 2 hours ago” he replies kissing your cheek. “8 weeks is too long to be away from you.” You take a sip from your wine and turn your neck to allow him more access.

Fred runs a hand up your thigh, giving it a light squeeze. “We’ve gone longer than that Fred” you whisper.

“Yeah because the border was closed” he whispers kissing your collarbone.

“Wait it’s still closed, how did you get in?” you ask pulling away to look at him.

“I have a Visa to play on the Leafs, it allowed me back in. Should have come back sooner” he mumbles kissing down your neck again. His hands lift your legs; he places his hands under them pulling you closer to him.

“Why didn’t you?” you ask running your hand up and down his biceps as Fred sucks on your neck.

“I’m a stupid man” he mumbles his hands stroking up and down your thighs, nipping on your neck. You moan lightly, placing your wine glass on the counter. Fred moves his hands to the back of your thigh and hoists you up. You wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you down the hall to his bedroom.

He kicks his bedroom door open and reaches to the wall to turn on the light. He gently places you on the bed, his mouth attaches to yours as he hovers over top of you. Your hands gently rake through his beard, as his tongue swirls in your mouth. His hand slides up your shirt gently, his thumb pressing circles onto the skin of your stomach.

Fred grabs the hem of your shirt and pulls it over your head; he sits up on his knees and removes your pants from you leaving you in your underwear.

“This is nice” Fred says taking in your matching red set, his finger lightly grazes the fabric.

“It’s new” you respond “thought of you when I bought it.”

Fred grins, stroking a finger over your clothed core. He quirks an eyebrow at you when he feels the wetness that has accumulated “it’s been a while” you say smiling at him.

“Let me fix that” he says pulling your underwear down your legs. He lies on his stomach, hooking your legs over his shoulders. He stares into your glistening pussy for a minute; his beard rubs against your thighs his breath makes you quiver.

He finally attaches his tongue to you, licking up your juices. You moan at the contact, his tongue is still dancing outside your folds. He groans at the taste of you, before he pushes his tongue inside you. You throw your head back into the pillow as his tongue slips inside your walls.

He brings his hand up to your clit and begins to press circles into it, as his tongue slowly licks the inside of your walls. Your hands slide down to his shoulder and you squeeze them firmly as he keeps fucking his tongue in and out of you.

“Freddie” you moan as his tongue continues to press deep inside you.

You grip his shoulder and attempt to pull him up to you. You feel Fred chuckle against you, but he doesn’t stop, pressing his thumb harder into your clit.

“Babe” you groan pulling harder on his shirt “I need you.”

Fred pulls back slightly staring at you with eyes dark from lust “you have me smuk” he chuckles. He attaches his lips to your clit and sucks on it, a fuck falls from your lips. Your legs begin to squirm slightly at the feeling.

“Fred…Fred…Fuck…I” you can’t form a coherent thought as he slips two fingers inside you, sucking on your sensitive bud.

His fingers begin to pump in and out of you as he pulls his mouth from you and begins sucking on your hip. He alternates between sucking and biting on your hip. Your hip arches off the bed as he continues to pump his fingers inside you.

“This what you want babe” he asks bringing his other hand to your bra, massaging your breast.

You bring a hand down to his wrist and clamp it. He stops moving his wrist and looks into your eyes.

“I need you Fred, I can’t wait” you say panting. Fred grins and slips his fingers out of you, and quickly pulls his shirt over his head. You reach up and grip his neck pulling him down to you. You lock lips with him, your hand slides up and down his firm bicep. Fred slides a hand under your back and unclasps your bra, freeing your breasts.

His firm shirtless body is pressed against you; you can feel his erection straining through the fabric of his clothes. You palm over his pants lightly before sliding your hand around to his back. His mouth leaves you and slides down to your breast and begins sucking on it, he brings a hand up and starts rolling your other nipple through his fingers, pinching it slightly. Your hands slide down his back and reach his sweat pants; you begin to push them down his large thighs.

Fred pulls away and pushes his pants and boxers down his legs and onto the floor. He falls on top of you and returns his mouth to yours; you roll and push him onto his back. You straddle him and begin grinding against his hard cock, desperate to have him inside you.

You hear Fred mumble in Danish as you continue to rock your hips against him. You fall forward kissing Fred, his hand tangles into your hair locking you in a passionate kiss. You reach over to the side table and pull a condom out.

You pull back and tear the foil, sliding it onto his hard member. You give him a few strokes before you rise up and line him up with your entrance. Fred brings his hands to your hips; you slowly start to drop down on him.

“Fuck” you mumble at the feeling of Fred inside of you, your hand goes onto his abs and you brace yourself. Fred is longer than any man you have been with, you had started to get used to his size but then he left to go to Denmark. You know Fred will hit areas nobody has ever hit before, but you just need to adjust.

“You okay smuk?” Fred asks looking up at you.

You keep dropping yourself down on him “yeah” you whine “just been a bit.”

He chuckles pulling your head down to his. You moan at the change of angle before Fred kisses you lightly.

“Don’t worry, take your time. I’m going to get you used to it soon” he smirks kissing you.

You haven’t taken all of him but you rise up and drop down on him. You moan into the kiss, Fred’s hand holding you to him, his other hand rests on your hip. You pull away from the kiss, Fred sucks on your bottom lip as you rise up and drop back down. Fred bottoms out in you, your ass hits against his thighs as you thrust on him.

“Ahh” you moan feeling him hit the deep spot inside you. Fred is still under you allowing you time to set the pace and get comfortable with him. You continue slowly thrusting on him, pushing yourself up. Your hand returns to his abs as you increase the pace.

Fred snaps his hips and pushes in you, as you drop onto him. His hands are on your hip, gripping you tightly as he helps guide you, keeping the slow pace. Your head falls back as you thrust on him; Fred slowly increases the pace under you.

You push into his stomach as your pace increases, rocking your hips against him. You bounce on top of Fred, his cock sliding in and out of you with ease. He brings a hand up to your breast, cupping it as you ride him. He rolls your nipple through his fingers, as your nails dig into his firm stomach muscles. Your hand slides down his treasure line, pressing hard into his groin as you feel your high approaching.

“You gonna cum baby?” Fred asks noticing you are chasing your high. He squeezes your breast hard, pinching your nipple in the process. You hum in response unable to form words. Fred releases your breast and slides his hand down to your clit to press circles into it.

“Yeah, cum on me baby. I want to feel you, feel you’re cum drip down me” he says pressing harder into your sensitive bud. His hips snap and the pace is fast, you are a mess on top of him. Sweat is dripping down Fred’s stomach; you can feel it under your hand.

“Fuck Fred” you scream out, your orgasm is close. With every thrust Fred his your g-spot, your skin flapping has filled the room, followed by occasional curse words. You notice Fred becoming erratic under you as you continue bouncing on him.

Your orgasm crashes over you, the most intense one you have had in a while. You clench around him, your walls tighten, and you feel it in your stomach. Your eyes roll back into your head as Fred continues to thrust inside of you. Your juices dripping down his cock.

He strains to keep going, allowing you to finish your orgasm. As you finally come around you feel Fred still under you. You collapse onto his chest, his arms wrap around you. You lie on him, both your breaths slowly return to normal.

A couple minutes later Fred rolls to be on top of you, he kisses you briefly before heading to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. He pulls on his boxers and throws a t-shirt to you. You smile and pull it over your head; Fred climbs into bed and pulls you into his arms.

“I was going to make you dinner, but I think I’m too tired now” Fred jokes, stroking up and down your arm. “You okay with ordering in?”

You look up and into his golden brown eyes “sounds perfect” you respond. Fred leans down and kisses you, wrapping you tightly into his arms.

“So you should spend your long weekend here with me” Fred mumbles against your lips.

You smile and stroke his beard “I don’t plan on leaving; I want to spend as much time with you as possible. When are you heading back to Denmark?” you ask lightly, not really wanting to know the answer.

“I’m not” Fred replies. You look directly into his eyes “not unless you come with me” he says lightly kissing you again.   

[artificialqueens]

Galactica, Chapter 78 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Fun fact! This story is now over 300k words. Haha. Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Previously: Courtney wanted a more reciprocal relationship, and Violet got a lovely invite from Bob.

This Chapter: Courtney tries something new, Gigi attempts to share some history, and Violet and Sutan head to Bob’s show.

***

Courtney strolled along the beach, sandals in hand, breathing in the salty sea air. She was in no rush to get back since she hadn’t heard from Bianca, which meant she would likely still be working. She’d had to rush out of their spa appointment when a slew of emails had come in from her team at Marie Claire, but not before insisting that Courtney stay and enjoy herself, even instructing the concierge to add whatever services she wanted.

It was clear that she was stressed and aggravated, and even though she’d been there for the hot stone massages, Courtney felt bad that she’d missed out on everything else. But she appreciated how much effort Bianca had made to assure Courtney that she should still relax and have a good day.

So of course, it would have been better if Bianca was there, but Courtney had still managed to appreciate and even relish her day of pampering (how could she not?), now walking along feeling calm and peaceful, every inch of her skin buttery soft from being rubbed and scrubbed and moisturized.

She paused, looking out at the water, admiring the rosy golden light of the setting sun, which was absolutely perfect for a selfie session.

All things considered, Courtney felt like she’d been extremely restrained where social media was concerned for this entire vacation so far. After all, she didn’t want to seem like she was rubbing her good fortune in people’s faces. But this evening, the light was just too good to resist.

She ended up with a whole batch of pictures, a bunch of selfies and also some amazing photos of the view. She slipped her phone back into her brand new Chloe handbag, figuring that she’d worry about what to post later.

When she finally made it back to the villas where they were staying, she swiped her key card to unlock the gate and then climbed the stairs to their suite, glancing through the window to see that Bianca was clearly still working. She stripped off her clothes and then lay out on one of the lounge chairs, catching the last bit of sunshine, determined to go back to New York with a killer tan.

***

Bianca cracked her neck, trying her best to stretch, the tension that had been pounded out of her muscles by the massage therapist just that morning already returning. She took a breath and shut her laptop, finally done for now. One of the advertisers that they’d intended to feature prominently in her presentation to the board--a brand they’d worked closely with for years--had just announced a bankruptcy. The team was in utter panic, so first she had to play Mommy and calm everybody down, then she had to work with them to figure out Plan B, C and D.

Finally, her role was done and everyone could move forward.

It had been exhausting, but on the bright side, now she could truly appreciate the rest of her night. She drained the glass of coquito beside her laptop, then turned to pour a new one, immediately seeing that Courtney had returned, her clothes in a pile on one of the lounge chairs on the terrace. She must have intentionally stayed outside so that she didn’t disturb Bianca’s work. And though Bianca probably would have welcomed the distraction, she appreciated how considerate it was.

She stood up, quickly pouring a second glass and taking them both outside.

Courtney was in the hot tub, looking out at the ocean, bare skin glowing under the already bright evening moon. Her clothes, including her swimsuit, were strewn on the ground.

“Well, hey there…”

“Hiiii…” Courtney turned around, tits on full display, giggling a little as Bianca leered at her.

“Want a drink?” Bianca held out the glass, and Courtney waded over to her to take it.

“Thank you. Is everything okay at work?”

“Yeah, it’ll be fine.” Bianca sank down by the edge of the hot tub, pulling her caftan up around her thighs so that the silk didn’t get into the chlorinated water. She took a long sip of her drink, enjoying the sweetness on her tongue and the way it burned down her throat.

“Wanna come in?” Courtney asked, lashes fluttering. She set her drink down on the edge of the hot tub.

“The view’s better from up here,” Bianca told her, and Courtney laughed, paddling slightly to make herself float. She watched her through heavy-lidded eyes, eyes raking over her body, the way her nipples tightened from the cool evening breeze, the way the water glistened on her long, slender legs. The way her hair spread out in the water, illuminated from the lights in the hot tub, almost like a halo.

It had begun to rain softly, the patter sounding on the awning above them, and the sound lulled Bianca into an almost hypnotized state as she watched Courtney in the water.

Maybe she was tired...or maybe the alcohol was stronger than she thought, but either way her defenses must have been severely lowered, because before she knew it, one of her hands had made its way between her thighs, fingers stroking herself absentmindedly through her bathing suit.

Courtney noticed before she did, a naughty smile spreading across her face as she rose up out of the water and made her way towards Bianca slowly. Bianca set down her own glass next to Courtney’s, just as her palms, warm from the water, were placed on her knees, pushing them apart.

Bianca smiled, taking Courtney’s face in her hands, gazing at her for a few moments before going in for a kiss, soft and deep. She pulled her in, no longer caring about the effect of chlorine on silk, just wanting her close, wanting to feel her body, the pounding of their hearts in sync.

Courtney’s fingers were sliding up her thighs, toying with the edge of her caftan, and Bianca lifted her arms, allowing her to pull the garment up over her head and toss it aside. There was a hungry look in her eyes as she then tugged Bianca’s swimsuit down.

“Come closer,” Courtney murmured, fingers digging into her waist, pulling her towards the edge of the hot tub. Her mouth traveled down Bianca’s body, sucking wet kisses along her neck and collarbone, swirling a tongue around each of her nipples, hot and soft and wet and exactly what Bianca wanted, making her arch forward, hands now gripping the edge of the hot tub.

When she lowered herself back into the water and began to nibble up her thighs, Bianca almost told her to stop. It was on the tip of her tongue--the request to switch gears. The desire to seize control back. After all, this wasn’t what she did. The last time she’d been in this position was so long ago, she didn’t even remember it. But then, almost as if sensing this shift, Courtney looked up at her.

Her green eyes glimmered in the moonlight. Questioning.

“Is this okay?” she whispered.

And instead of saying no, instead of reaching down to turn the tables, press her up against the tile wall of the hot tub and make her moan until she lost her voice, instead of doing any of that, Bianca found herself nodding. Lifting her hips to allow Courtney to pull her bathing suit the rest of the way off, scooting closer to the edge to give her easier access. When Courtney snatched a cushion off the nearest lounge chair and placed it behind her lower back, Bianca’s thighs parted almost of their own accord.

“Tell me what you want,” Courtney said, trailing her lips so lightly up Bianca’s inner thighs that she shivered.

It had been a long time, so long, since Bianca had been touched in this way by someone else, and she found her heart racing in anticipation. Bianca buried her hands into Courtney’s wet hair to guide her gently, saying only, “Here.”

“Mmmm…” The sound against her sent a wave of pleasure down Bianca’s spine and she let out a soft gasp, unprepared for how quickly Courtney’s tongue found her clit.

She was slow, and careful, almost reverent as she swirled a tongue over her, and Bianca’s fingers tightened in her hair. Something in her always had fought this: the unraveling, the letting go. But when Courtney tilted her head up, the look in her eyes was pure love, pure devotion, and Bianca’s grip loosened a little, one hand moving to caress her cheek.

“I love you so much, B,” Courtney said, letting Bianca run a thumb over her lips before getting back to business, brushing kisses over her.

“I love you too, angel, I-oh!” Bianca gasped again as Courtney sucked on her clit, hard, arms wrapped around her quivering thighs. “Jesus christ…”

Bianca let her head drop backwards, no longer fighting the moans that rose up from her chest. The only words she could manage were urgent commands: higher, harder, then fuck, yes, tipping over with one final moan, her whole body shuddering.

For a neophyte, Courtney’s stamina was impressive, keeping at it as Bianca’s moans turned to whimpers, easing up on the pressure, tongue going soft.

“Come here,” she finally said, taking Bianca’s hands and pulling her into the warm water, making sure that her head was resting comfortably against the side of the hot tub. She kissed Bianca’s eyelids, the corner of her mouth.

“Shit.” Bianca rubbed her eyes with one hand, the other still tangled in Courtney’s hair.

“Did you like that?” Courtney asked, the self-satisfied look on her face contradicting the innocence of her words, as if she already knew the answer.

Bianca rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “Yes...but you don’t have to look so smug about it.” She tried to keep a straight face, but seconds later broke out into a grin, dimples deep in her cheeks, pulling Courtney closer until she was straddling her on the bench.

Courtney laughed, pressing another kiss to her cheek before wrapping her arms tight around her neck, cuddling against her.

*

COURTNEY: You’re gonna be so proud of me

ADORE: Oh yah?

COURTNEY: I ate pussy

ADORE: LOL! I’m super proud and a little disgusted

ADORE: Were you any good at it?

COURTNEY: Ask B ;)

*

ADORE: Heard bae went downtown.

BIANCA: STAY OUT OF MY SEX LIFE ADORE

ADORE: DON’T FUCK MY FRIENDS BIANCA

BIANCA: OK FAIR POINT

ADORE: lol THANKS

BIANCA: You’re not actually mad about that, right?

ADORE: Only if she’s like...the first of many

BIANCA: UNLIKELY. I’ve seen your other friends.

ADORE: Rude

BIANCA: LOL

ADORE: So...how are things going? You having fun?

BIANCA: YUP

ADORE: You’re not gonna give me any juicy details are you?

BIANCA: NOPE

***

“Hey!” Gigi tapped her computer screen, Symone’s eyes widening on her little face. “Pay attention.”

“I am,” Symone giggled, “Promise.”

Gigi smiled, laying back down on her stomach, her blanket over her as the movie continued. Symone had texted that she missed their movie nights, and while it had been a bit of a hassle to make it work with the time difference, Gigi had jumped on the chance to watch a movie together online--even if they’d be seeing each other in person again in just a few days.

“Who’s that again?”

“Heather Duke.” Gigi watched Symone’s face, the movie so familiar to her she barely had to pay attention.

It was her suggestion that they watch Heathers, Symone agreeing instantly when she had described it as ‘Mean Girls from the 80’s.’ She supposed, though, that she should have prepared her for how much darker it was than Mean Girls, since she didn’t laugh nearly as loud as Gigi at “fuck me gently with a chain saw” and seemed visibly disturbed when the first murder occured. On screen, Shannen Doherty was praying over her friend’s coffin.

“I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times and I felt bad everytime I did it but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know you understood everything. Praise Jesus, Hallelujah.”

Gigi giggled, the prayer always one of her favorite parts.

“Oh my god, how can you laugh at that? You’re such a psycho, this movie is fucking bananas!” Symone exclaimed.

“It’s iconic!”

“Whatever, and that green bitch is cray.”

“‘That green bitch’ is Brenda Walsh, have some respect.”

“I don’t know any of these people, I wasn’t alive in the 80s.”

“Brenda Walsh isn’t 80’s! She’s 90’s!” Gigi hadn’t considered that there were moms who weren’t completely obsessed with pop culture, her mom telling her on more than one occasion that no daughter of hers should be unaware of the defining moments of fashion history, their relevance no less important just because it hadn’t happened on a runway. “You know, 90210, Beverly Hills 90210?”

“I'm not going to know it more because you keep repeating it.” Symone threw some of her hair over her shoulder, a smirk on her face. “I was like 3 in the 90s.”

“Oh my god,” Gigi grinned, throwing a handful of popcorn at the screen. “Me too!”

It was the Skinny Pop, and it didn’t taste as nice as real popcorn, but her mom had still bought it when Gigi asked, since going back to New York with a bunch of holiday weight wouldn’t help her get Fashion Week bookings.

“We’re the same age,” Gigi added.

“I know,” Symone smiled, running her fingers through her hair, “But you’re like, super weird.”

Gigi blushed, Symone’s tone so filled with affection it couldn’t be anything less than a compliment.

“I do like how the Heathers are all color coordinated.”

“You know,” Gigi pushed up on her elbows, an idea taking form in her head. “If I asked my mom, she’d totally make their outfits for us. We could do a photoshoot, not a fashion one, but like, for Instagram or something.”

“Oh my god yes!” Symone’s eyes widened, and Gigi felt warm delight spread in her limbs. “Can I be the yellow one?”

“Sure,” Gigi nodded, biting her lip at the thought of how good Symone would look in yellow as Heather McNamara before turning to the more important issue of the rest of the casting for their photo shoot. “I’ll be Duke, obviously, because green is my color, but we’d need someone to be Chandler.”

“And who’s-”

“The red one.” Gigi grinned, Symone so cute with how stupid she was sometimes though she’d never tell her, “and it’d be so cool if we had a Veronica.”

“You know, Naomi looks good in red, and I think Bimini could be talked into being Veronica.”

“Yes!” Gigi’s eyes widened, the entire shoot taking form in her mind, the movie forgotten for now. “You text, and I’ll go ask my mom!”

“What about the-”

Gigi didn’t hear the rest of Symone’s comment, already sprinting out the door and towards the stairs to find her mother.

***

“Violet! Hey girl!”

Violet smiled as Maxwell waved, making his way through the crowd to give her a hug.

The club was already filled with people, the drag show starting at 11. The club was rather dark, with red lights and a beautiful mosaic wall behind the bar, clutches of black painted steel chairs spread out, the dance floor open on the other side of the big open space, packed with people, thumping house music playing through the speakers.

“Bob is so psyched that you’re coming. And so are the girls,” Maxwell gestured to a table, where Blu and Kiara sat, looking dressed to impress. “Go have a seat, I’m gonna grab some shots for the group.”

“Oh, that’s okay, I don’t need-” Violet began, but Maxwell had already slipped away, leaning across the bar. She shrugged and headed towards the girls, who jumped up to say hello, kissing her cheeks, exclaiming over how cute her dress was.

Violet took a seat at the table, careful not to knock over any of the empty glasses, the surface thankfully not sticky as she put her YSL on the table.

“Well, the diva is ready, and she looks fucking fierce tonight!” said a light voice, and Violet turned to see a very pretty young man with sharp cheekbones and black hair, wearing a military jacket.

“I can’t wait to see what she looks like,” Blu squealed. “Violet, have you met Kade?”

“Um, no. Hi.”

“Definitely not, I’d have remembered you. You’re like, super gorge!” Kade grinned, his eyes gliding over Violet’s face.

“Oh, um. Thanks.” Violet couldn’t help but smile, the compliment said with complete sincerity. Kade continued looking at her, and Violet tilted her head.

“Whoops.” Kade chuckled, breaking his gaze. “Sorry, I’m so awkward, I know.” He held his hands up in front of him, before holding one out to shake. “I’m Kade. Bob’s boyfriend.”

Bob’s boyfriend? As Violet took his hand, her eyes darted unconsciously towards the bar, realizing with a mild panic that Maxwell was heading towards them with a tray of shots.

“Right. No, his other boyfriend, cutie,” Kade laughed, sitting down next to Blu. “Max, can you back me up, please?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. Everything’s kosher,” Maxwell said with a grin, setting the drinks down and taking a seat.

Violet let out a sigh of relief. She didn’t know that Bob had two boyfriends, but once she thought about it some more, it made sense, Bob one of the chattiest and personable people she had ever met.

“So you’re a designer, right?” Kade asked.

“Yeah. What do you do?”

“I’m a makeup artist,” he said, holding up his hand. Violet looked closer, noticing the smudges of makeup, the dark tones standing out against his skin, the colors clearly matching Bob.

“Kade is also a fierce drag queen.” Kiara threw her hair over her shoulder. “You should check out his insta, he’s like...amaaazing,” Kiara smiled, taking a long sip of her drink, the red fuzzy sweater she was wearing somehow so chic even though it shouldn’t be.

“Oh.”

“Omigod, you’re hilarious,” Kade said, giggling, turning to Maxwell. “I love her.”

“Yeah, we like her too,” Maxwell said. “Hey, weren’t you gonna bring your man? Is he still coming?”

“Jackets,” she explained. Sutan had taken hers as soon as they arrived, as well as his own winter goat. “I’m sure he’ll be here-”

“Any minute?” Sutan grinned as he swept in, putting an arm around the back of Violet’s chair, the man apparently taking a detour for the bar as cocktails for both of them had appeared. “Hello Maxwell.” Sutan held a hand out, shaking it. “And you three are?”

Blu giggled, and Violet couldn’t hide a smile as Sutan introduced himself and shook hands, a sense of satisfaction washing over her, Kade reintroducing himself.

In honesty, she had been a bit worried about whether or not Sutan was going to come when she had invited him. It hadn’t been her intention, but so far in the relationship, he had called a lot of the shots about what parties they went to, where they would eat, about who they saw.

It wasn’t because Violet didn’t have opinions; she simply went out a lot less than he did. Club nights with Pearl and visits to whatever art exhibition or fashion event that caught her fancy were the extent of what she used to do. Being a student or under Fame’s thumb left her with very little free time on her hands.

When she had presented the idea of going to Bob’s show, Sutan had jumped on it immediately though, and he had even dressed up. His clothes for the night a tight fitting black Prada shirt, black pants and a vintage Gucci leather jacket completing the look.

“Violet!” Violet was pulled out of her thoughts as Blu put a shot with bright green liquid down in front of her, everyone else already holding one, even Sutan who had a cocktail in his other hand. “Shot!”

“Umh,” Violet picked the shot up, “I really shouldn’t-”

“Afraid you can’t keep up?” Kiara raised an eyebrow, a smirk on her lips.

“I can hold my liquor,” Violet smiled back, realizing that no one at the table had ever seen her truly party, that honor only bestowed upon Pearl, “but I have the crutches-”

“Girl please!” Blu laughed, “We’re sitting down and your boyfriend is here!”

Sutan raised his glass, a delighted twinkle in his eyes even as he didn’t say anything.

“Believe me,” Blu leaned forward, “Being drunk is the only way to get through Bob’s show!”

“Blu!” Maxwell swatted her arm, making the table laugh.

“I only speak the truth!” Blu grinned, sitting back down in her seat. “Now come on, Chachki. For Bob.”

“For Bob,” Violet reached her shot, clinking it with Kade before they all downed the first round, the alcohol burning and sickly sweet. She put it down with a grimace, Sutan laughing but he held her cocktail up so she could take a sip.

“So,” Violet felt Sutan’s hand sneak around the back of her chair. “Is this a 5 or a 10 dollar tip kind of show?” Sutan smiled, looking around the table. “I’m hoping the bartender will break up my bills.”

“I think Bob would die if you handed him 10,” said Maxwell, and Kade burst out laughing.

“Toootally,” he added, grinning. It was fun to see Kade and Maxwell interact. They were clearly friendly, but it didn’t seem like they were dating too, which seemed a little confusing to Violet.

“Definitely,” Kiara nodded. “He’s usually much more of a dollar queen.”

“Hey!” Maxwell gasped, faux outrage on his face, and Violet giggled.

“I’ll get a little bit of everything.” Sutan smirked, standing back up. “Anyone want another drink? Blu? You’re almost out.”

“Really?” Blu grinned, twisting a strand of her orange hair around her finger as everyone gave off their drink orders, Sutan writing it down on his phone.

***

Maxwell hated to admit that he was crushing on his coworker’s boyfriend, but it was impossible not to.

Sutan was stupidly attractive and it didn’t help that he had come back with a tray of drinks and shots--the man even considerate enough to get everyone water bottles too. He had always found Sutan interesting, Bob always teasing him with how closely he had followed his career, but there was a difference between seeing someone you admired in the style pages from Fashion Week, or even at a distance at photo shoots at work, and then having actual interactions and conversations.

Now, Sutan was sitting next to Violet, his arm once again slung around the back of her chair, his fingers toying with the curled ends of her ponytail as he listened to Kiara tell a story.

Violet’s outfit of the night was a lilac dress with balloon sleeves that sat tight in the waist and ended just above her knees, her nails painted in a French manicure with flecks of silver that matched her jewelry, her lips a pale pink.

She was objectively stunning, and they suited each other, Violet and Sutan, Sutan and Violet, fashion couple extraordinaire.

Bob had never minded that Maxwell had crushes, their relationship open from the very start, though it was rarely - if ever - Maxwell who acted on it. Thankfully, Bob had amazing taste in boyfriends, and while Maxwell didn’t want to kiss Kade, he was a good friend who he enjoyed spending time with whenever it made sense.

It would be a sour feeling, the unrequited crush on Sutan, if it wasn’t for how happy and content Violet looked, her expression relaxed in a way he only ever caught glimpses of at work.

Maxwell felt more than heard his phone vibrate, and he reached into his pocket to fish it out, a message and a picture from Bob only just ticking in. Maxwell had sent him a break a leg text about an hour ago, even though he knew Bob didn’t need it, his boyfriend magic on a stage, the limelight where Bob truly belonged, so he hadn’t expected a reply.

Maxwell smiled, his heart aching a little with how much he loved him. He tipped the screen, wanting to show Kade the picture of Bob since he was the one who had done his makeup for the night, but he was cut off as the atmosphere of the club changed.

“Yaaaas!” Kade twisted in his chair, the music changing as the lights focused on the stage. “Omigod, brace yourselves!”

[jiminrings]

homebound

pairing: yoongi x y/n

glimpse: race car driver!yoongi is a tiny bit fond of pit stop crew!y/n, grumpy crew chief!jimin will be the bANE of your existence, and jungkook is ur saving grace for bumper stickers whenever u wanna surprise yoongi :D

wordcount: 21k

notes: ok if u know charlie leclerc from F1, he was the inital reason why i wanted to write this au with yoongi!! think of this as an au with a mix of F1-level type of class and racing, but with a NASCAR type of pit crew that only has five members instead of formula one’s twenty!! i also asked my close friend for info since she’s an avid f1 fan to add on to my prior knowledge!! this is a work of fiction and accuracy does nOt always result to fun so pls just enjoy this!!! i also made a poll to what i should write next and this was one of the options and tHEN d-2 dropped and i was !!! ok it’s settled then // pic is from pinterest but i just edited it since it looked like it was shot with a 3210 hihi

also: you can talk to my characters!!! send in an ask anytime :D

(๑>◡<๑)

jungkook, as a person, is an excellent one

he’s talented, he’s kind, he’s driven, he’s gonna buy you your meal when you don’t have enough cash on you and would say “yA PAY ME BACK LATER” but in the end, he’ll just wave it off and say “nah i was kidding it’s my treat :D”

he’s also h*ndsome but you won’t say that again and again because his ego?? his bragging rights?? what then

jungkook, as a friend, is a fun, attentive, food-inhaling and money-draining carebear that can be pERSUASIVE if he needs to be

he lets u have the last slice of pizza!! or the last pringle or the last pearl in the massive cup of milktea you split with two straws and a giant butter croissant

he holds the umbrella up for the two of you when it’s raining and you’re sharing it

if he feels extra kind then he’ll be in the side in which there are more splatters and puddles to go through

if he feels like a sAINT then yes he may piggyback u but only if u hold up the umbrella because he’s a saint not four-arms from ben ten

7/10 times that he screenshots what’s in his cart but wouldn’t checkout, he genuinely just wants to show you because he’s excited and when you dO decide to get it for him, whether it was an actual shock or he just kept sending you screenshots until you got the hint, he makes sure to hug you until you physically can’t breathe anymore

he once saw this you liked that didn’t become your boyfriend because it turns out you were just a bet and you’re only worth a month of fucking gatorade

you’re not the most confident person ever in the worls but you’re sURE

you are worth more than month’s supply of glacier freeze for a no thoughts, head empty football jock senior

jungkook was sure too

if ur gonna be an asshat that he’s gonna hate anyway, aTLEAST make it cool blue because that belongs to top tier

he made sure he went to TOWN on that punching bag while looking at that dude

whatever he did, jungkook did with much more power and intensity and he is still maintaning eye contact after the airhead caught on and recognized him

HE NEVER SAW THE DUDE IN THE GYM AFTER

jungkook, as an athlete, is a beast and u gotta admit that

he played basketball in college while u played softball!!!

you were handpicked by your coach if you wanna try out for this once in a lifetime career opportunity aND it was sketchy at first

u kept asking on what was it about but all she said was “that’s for you to know.,.,., if you wanna accept the offer :))” and you were eventually driven to the edge because you wanted to know so badly

and then it turns out u were the ONLY one in your softball team to be handpicked as she said and then u were instructed to go to the gym in which there were chairs lined up

oh god is this a cult

there were a couple other people too and you could recognize some of them from the swimming team and this girl from weighlifting and that dude from football

they too did not have any idea at aLL

you just decided to sit by the last row... y’know... just in case....

and then jungkook strolls in confused as fUCK but in the same time excited and he sits beside you because he’s thinking the same thing of what if this was sketchy shit!!

you just knew him then because he looked familiar and you may have seen him asleep in your calc class a couple of times

and also because his hair was peach

how could u possibly forget that aha

“oH i like your uniform!!”

jungkook immediately spoke what was on his mind and pointed to your softball uniform u were still in and then your response was to freeze

ok that might have been too forward and-

“i know right?? oH MY GOD!! i signed up for softball in the first place because the uniform was sO COOL!!”

“bro i joined basketball because i heard that tHE WARMERS WERE SO SOFT”

:D

and then a friendship was born

the both of you were not thinking anymore about the fact that you’re both in a gym with no instructions whatsoever bc you’re too excited to be talking about what’s happening!!!

you joined a sport jUST for their uniforms?? oh my god i did that TOO

turns out that jungkook was actually great at basketball and he just knew then

also turned out that u were a gifted natural in softball even if you didn’t fully grasp the mechanics at first

“but when do i oH IS IT MY TIME TO RUN??? no?? not yet?? oh aha yeah i guess i run that fast :D”

the two of you bonded so good that it was immediately decided that u are really meant to be friends with each other

sometimes people mistake the both of you as a couple and u know what,,, sometimes the two of you take advantage of that because a fREE DESSERT?? ice cream on the house?? celebratory cake because jungkook one time jokingly went down on one knee and proposed a ring pop to you that he just saw LYING on the ground???

don’t mind if u do :)))

jungkook, as a fellow pit stop crew member, is a really comforting (and sometimes annoying) presence

he doesn’t question when you get whiney from the fatigue settling in and instead? he just whines with you!!

the impromptu meeting in the gym? it was actually an orientation and introduction to try out for a pit stop crew program for this really really popular racing organization :D

athletes were in-demand because the discipline and the speed and the skills were needed

and you were filtered furthermore and it just ended up with only the handful of you

of course you could opt out but if you do pursue to go through, and if you do exceptionally good, then you might just be one of the two people they’re gonna hire as a part of the pit stop crew after you graduate!!

god training was rigorous and the practical test was even more nerve-wracking

you were put in pairs and in groups to see how the camaraderie and teamwork would show and bEST BELIEVE THAT YOU AND JUNGKOOK.,.,.

exceptional

breathtaking

best work

not to toot your own horn or anything ://

aha and those two positions? of course it went to the two of you!!

but jungkook, as a fellow pit stop crew member but for your oPPONENT TEAM is beyond irking

you see...

it was guaranteed that you and jungkook would be accepted into the organization

what wasn’t guaranteed, however, is that the two of you would be a member of the same pit crew

u found that hIGHLY confusing because what for... you guys saw how kook and i work together.... don’t you want that idk intact?????

“hobi-hyung’s gonna win this time. i guarantee you that. i bet you HALF of my food allowance”

hobi aka jung hoseok is a force to be reckoned with

you always see him in races and u know enough about him because jungkook just won’t shut up about how great he is!!

he’s a very giggly and joyful person and sometimes you just can’t help smiling when you see him getting interviewed over by their spot

kook’s introduced you to hobi a couple of times eagerly now and hobi does not!! forget!! names!!

it’s a lil conflict of interest for you and jungkook to be openly best friends while being in oppositing teams, but that doesn’t seem to stop heh

hoseok shook your hand firmly and eVEN added another hand so your hand is sandwiched by his and he has a permanent :D on his face

u immediately got why jungkook was so fascinated and happy to be working with him

“i mean nO offense to hobi, kook, and he’s like a rEALLY really great guy and a great driver and i have tons of respect for him also i totally get why you’re whipped for him bUT-“

“ᵒᵏ ʰᵉʳᵉ ʷᵉ ᵍᵒ ᵃᵍᵃᶦⁿ”

“he’s great, but not min yoongi great!!”

he already had that coming

how can jungkook not anticipate that when you have said that to him a million times already

that guy barely even talks to you but he’s so chatty with literally Everyone But You

he has a theory

theorieS actually

ok first one is that ur a guardian angel for yoongi

WAIT NO HEAR HIM OUT FOR A SEC

you just gravitate towards him!! you wanna be around yoongi as much as you can in non-stalker way but rATHER in guardian angel ways

you and jungkook are almost always in the same place at the same time given your jobs

also sketchy for kook because it could be seven in the evening and you’d call him using the hotel phone and go

“eY JUNGKOOK do u wanna come with me to this pub :) to celebrate yoongi’s win today :) do you :) please :) say yes pls :)”

“y/n baby hOW many time do i have to remind you that i am yOUR team’s opponent,,, jung hoseok is the OPPONENT of min yoongi,,,”

“... how many drinks do u want”

...

...

“fINE i’m gonna wear a hoodie again and i’ll get a cab to tail your team’s car and i’ll come inside the pub five minutes after again and tHEN i’ll pretend to bump into you. a g a i n”

plus you always have the heart eyes for yoongi no matter how blank he is with you or frustrated he gets after a sucky race

second theory: you’re not a guardian angel; you probably just have a crush on yoongi

:O

wait does th is mean that lovers are like angels, and angels are like lovers?

goddamn

omg he should’ve just become a poet or something

get those hands busy with typing up the same message but in different wordings and nOT lifting up cars under time pressure or change a wheel like your life depended on it

lmao maybe he should become a singer or something

“but it is true!”

“you use his name as an adjective now!!”

“lol true the sunset was yoongi today”

god jungkook’s thinking if it’s possible to drown himself in this glass of water because eW you’re so in love and for WHAT

“what’s tHAT supposed to mean??”

“beautiful!! c’mon jungkook think every now and then!!”

yoongi just isn’t a name in the game

he is the name of the game

his dad was a famous racer up until his retirement

and then his grandfather set the family name into racing because boi is he a legend too

AND THEN HERE HE IS

yoongi’s been karting ever since he was like what?? six years old??

ultimately ever since he was a kid, he knew he wanted to do racing too

he just didn’t want his family’s reputation preceding him

(he was also thinking of wAIT do i actually have skills oR do i just have “skills” because it’s expected from me)

plot twist he did have skills

he tried out and just had his name as suga

and then when he knocked out those officials and got them sTANDING up from their seats because they really needed what was happening to sink in, that’s when he just dropped the truth bomb

“oh aHA actually i’m min yoongi!! nice to meet you!!”

he was just talented like that

so talented that he almost went with moto racing instead because he knew how to drive motorcyles!!

rode a bike twice and he immediately went pSH give me a motorbike nOW PLS :((

one time he fell out of balance and dislocated his shoulder and yoongi then decided that will never do that again lmao

the thing is, you haven’t had a proper lengthy conversation with yoongi that had some substance to it

it’s your default congratulations and you’re “oMG you killed it out there you were a bEAST!!” and him just going “thanks!” and then walking off

you wanna call him nicknames

if it’s not yoongi, then either it’s sir or it’s mr. min

and it’s no fun :((

how come jungkook can call hoseok HOBI

you really just wish you were as close

sometimes if you’re lucky, yoongi gets your name right!!

it’s okay!! yoongi’s just a little bit reserved with you!! that’s all!! :)

it’s a race day anyway and you all just headed out to the circuit fairly early

yoongi’s sitting by himself wearing a white shirt underneath his racing suit and uWu he looks so comfy :((

normally in practice days and practice drills, he’d be also sitting by himself as he looks wistful staring out

but no not really

he would pull out his phone a couple seconds later oR pass out and wake up when he feels like falling because one of his talents was to fall asleep sitting

sitting.,.. the seat doesn’t even need to have a backrest.,..,

the season is about to end and you dON’T want to pass another season without atleast attempting to invoke some reaction from him with how much you interact with him

you smiled at him more than a hundred times already but he just goes :] and then walks off AGAIN

you’re gonna be proactive!! you’re gonna do these moves!! yOU’RE GONNA OWN IT :D

you’re striding very confidently to where yoongi’s sat and he doesn’t take notice because his back’s turned to you and you’re walking too fast and motivated that he probably doesn’t hear you

wait maybe you need to back-track a little

“am i — am i supposed to know why you’re giving me a pill and what is this pill?”

maybe you should have done a better way to do this aHa

“w-what?? oH nO NO it’s not — it’s a caffeine pill!!”

yoongi’s mouth forms into a lil :O and he tilts his head, trying to register and find your face in the memory bank for his pit crew

“i just — i just noticed aND uh y’know it’s not only me?? it’s just that i- we know that you drink coffee a lot and you aren’t allowed to drink it when it’s an actual game and not practice, because it’s gonna make you pee-“

maybe you shouldn’t be talking about pee

this is the longest (one-sided) conversation you’ve ever had with yoongi without him walking away and you’re talking about body fluids!!!!

it’s okay it’s cool

he probably knows what you’re talking about anyway

everything he wears is heavy-duty fire-proof material from his undies to his racing suits aND so does the pit crew

it’s gonna make you sweat a lot!! it was a given

yoongi doesn’t drink much water in the first place and he only gulps down liters of it when he’s officially done with his race

he doesn’t drink coffee before an actual race either because it just does these things to him

caffeine makes him focused but the particular one that he favors makes him tOO focused

and also coffee makes you pee more than any other!!

plus yoongi swears too that he’s nEVER peed in his racing suit ever and he’s gonna stand by that no matter how much stoopid questions he gets or teases

“point is, you can be a liTTLE bit out of yourself when you don’t have your fix a-and i mean absolutely nO offense yoongi sir aha mmmmh just!! here!! a caffeine pill!!”

he’s looking down on your palm and he takes into detail that the pill was lying snugly on a bed of pREMIUM tissue paper

hmmm this looks like those soft tissues from his hotel room???? is it just him???

you put it there not oNLY for presentation, but also because giving it to him with your bare hands that are gettin sweaty with how nervous you are is unhygienic

god ur struggles

“jungkook is this tissue tOO crumpled?? like does it look intentional crumple, or like an effortless cUte crumple???”

“are u out of your fucking mind?? oh my gOD no it’s too crumpled!! let me do it”

y/n!!

that’s it!! that’s your name!! you’re y/n!!

yoongi can’t believe that there’s this girl from his pit crew that is giving him a caffeine pill because-

“this is nice of you. very considerate.”

yo

did yoongi just talk to you

u have officially lowered your goals in life!! you can nOW perish peacefully knowing that yoongi has said something else to you besides “thanks” :D

he snatches your lil napkin bed and takes the pill and your other hand is a bit lonely because you’re holding a bottle of his special water and-

did he just

did he just swallow a pill dry

people who swallow their pills dry SCARE YOU

they are to be feared honestly

however there are exceptions hehe

tHIS ONLY MAKES YOU WANT TO KNOW YOONGI MORE!!

although you really can’t

not when you can literally hear your crew chief’s footsteps towards you and you’re just smiling through :D

you don’t know a park jimin

no you don’t aha :D

sometimes denial is the key!!!

“y/n, go do some stretches with your crew.”

sometimes u really really just wanna rattle jimin back and forth

he’s a grumpy crew chief!! a strict one!! one that wouldn’t let an ice cream man give out treats, because in his words, it is completely unnecessary

vernon got assigned as ice cream man and his feelings were HURT

jimin’s exceptional, no doubt about that

his strategies coincide well with yoongi’s and it contributes to the winning formula

what you just don’t like is how he’s grumpy with almost everyone else, but he’s extra grumpy with you

you offered a piece out of your packet of gummy bear ones

jimin just stared at you up and down, eyes narrowed as he looks as if he’s been offended big-time

“are you trying to woo me with your citric acid obsession?”

woo wHAT

yOU WHAT????

“jIMIN-“

and then he crossed his arms across his chest as you’re trying to reason out that you were just being considerate and nOt trying to woo him!!!

“aish. if you’re gonna woo me, atleast go for a proper attempt. a granola bar. that’s good. i’m gonna deny you anyway, but atleast that one isn’t laughable.”

you cannot

you seriously cannot comprehend wHY is jimin like this

he has this habit of clicking his tongue and shaking his head and THEN walking away

people walking away from you is a trend apparently

“but jimin i already stretched aND warmed up today”

he hums at that but you have a feeling that your words are just going through one ear and out of the other

you just love being chastised by your crew chief in front of yoongi <3

“with jungkook?”

wait who is jungkook

yoongi suddenly has more interest into this conversation because uh who is jungkook and why does the name itself kinda intimidate him

he’s kinda familiar with the name but nOT the face

:(

is this your thing

is your thing giving out caffeine pills?? this is just a normal occurrence and he shouldn’t feel this AWED at the sentiment??

“yeah!! and we did both our warm-ups!! tWICE if i might add!!”

jimin knows about jungkook tho

he knows how you’re best friends and opponents in a technical sense

he’s a little wary of that still but he guesses that it just can’t be helped???

there’s a lot of talk on the field with how great jungkook is as a pit crew member anyway!! they were surely a bit confused too on with how the two of you were separated but it’s for the better (?) anyways considering that you’re both aces

good for hobi

good for yoongi

bAd for jimin!!! and you’re his favorite

his favorite when it comes to scolding even when you particularly haven’t done anything

tough love

“.... hmmmm”

“mmmmmh”

yoongi feels like he has to add on to the conversation because he’s gotta admit that it’s somehow entertaining

he’ll ask jimin later about this jungkook guy anyway :))

“i didn’t see it though. do it again.”

smile thru da pain :)))

yoongi placed second in this race though and although that isn’t entirely bad, he is still kinda upset because that just means he’s second best :((

hobi placed first!!

he’s all cool about it and yoongi doesn’t wanna be bitter but he iS mad at himself for not getting pole position for this race

so for every race for the season, there’s three qualifying sessions to determine your position in the grid!! if it all adds up and you’re the one with the fastest times, then u become the pole-sitter

acquiring the pole position aka being the pole-sitter puts a driver at an advantage because they’re first in line!! aND they don’t have to weave in between cars at the back and fight for getting ahead

it’s cool that’s cool :))) yoongi’s got pole position more than a handful times anyway :))) he’s just giving out chances for the others :))) 

he’s kind like that :)))

[ yoongi is bURNING in the inside tho ]

there’s what?? like eight more races in this whole championship season?? yeah he could make this work no pressure

the caffeine pill,,, however.,.,.,,

“well?? how did it work out??”

jungkook is beyond impatient now because you keep getting into telling the story of how it went with yoongi but you jUST kept getting distracted

it’s only fair because yah the race just ended and you and jungkook didn’t opt to go back to the hotel with your teams so you could eat out from the stalls here after a really tiring day!! you deserve it!!

“okAy so like i was really nervous, yeah?? so i walked and then oOOOOOH CHEESY BEEF FRIES!! jungkook look omg cHEESy beef fries!! hold on lemme-”

you are aging jungkook and he swears by that

“nO no!! here!!! i already bought them!!! can you just oH my god!! y/n please stand STILL”

he’s holding you still with both of his hands grounding your shoulders wHILE his hands are still holding up his food and drinks and none of them are spilling?

that’s: talent

he’s been antsy ever since you texted him before the race started that you’re diving in head-first without a proper plan!! he was writing an elaborate plan in bullet points on his dotted notebook and tHen you’re telling him that you’re gonna dive straight in??

first of all how dare u

second of all pLEASE just tell him how it went

“five bites of fries, two minutes of telling how it went.”

ok he is a really great negotiator and also you’re already shoving like three in your mouth so this is more favorable than what he bargained for

jungkook does find you a pain in the ass sometimes like there is nO denying that absolutely

but he can attest to the fact that you are a GREAT storyteller

like damn your emotions?? hand gestures?? how you’d eVEN switch positions so he could get visuals of how it went down?? perfection like so good that jungkook feels so flustered because omg?? so tHIS is why you have a crush on yoongi aha

you’re not gonna lie,, jungkook sometimes decreases your lifespan for a solid seven months at the least

but you’re lying too when you say that he isn’t a dAMN good listener/audience

his doe eyes get even bigger and he is dang expressive and he’s never insincere and doesn’t exaggerate tOO much to the point that it’s obnoxious!!

and he doesn’t pick any story of yours!! he is vERY genuine!!!

[ sputters while drinking his iced tea ] “jimin cockblocked aGAIN???”

[ crouches to the floor when you went out to the mall alone because he didn’t want to and ended up meeting owen wilson, the guy who voiced lightning mcqueen ] “WHAT??????? YOU WHAT????? YOU’RE TELLING ME WHAT???????”

[ sobs because he didn’t meet owen wilson ] “i’m just so *wails* i’m just rEGRETTING every *heaves* single decision i made a-and *fans tears* i should’ve just went with you :(((”

[ giggles and shrieks continuously for ten minutes and keeps hugging you because you bought him those big boots that you call romper stompers for his birthday ] “you did nOT!! oh my god they’re really mine?? MINE??? you’re telling me that these are mINE now??? omg omg i could die rn y/n i swear i LOVE YOU!!! i’m not gonna step on u i swear :(( thank you thank you :(((”

yoongi couldn’t be anymore smiley

like sure enough, his mind should only stay in the game when he is in the game

he can’t think about what he wants for dinner later that night or let his thoughts drift because otherwise, hE’S the one that’s going to drift

but maybe

just maybe when he’s at the last stretch and hobi’s already crossed the finish line and the closest driver behind him is like lmao a kilometer away

he just can’t help thinking about you!! and the napkin bed you made for his caffeine pill!! and how he doesn’t get why he’s never talked to you before because like you’re cute n all :D

he’s never seen a pit crew member talk back to jimin like that before and yeah sure you’re playful but not overstepping it ya know

“so jimin,,, y/n, amirite?”

jimin’s a lil bit confused because uhhh yoongi has never talked to him

about you before but he’s not that bothered

“... yeah?”

...

...

“jimin this is the part where you tell me about y/n”

“how was i supposed to know? you only said her name!! is that like a signal or wHAT??”

“couldn’t i be anymore obvious??”

the bottom line is that yoongi got a crash course when it came to you and he couldn’t be any more grateful for jimin

he’s also confirmed that jungkook isn’t ur boyfriend but that’s kinda debatable because jimin added an “i’m not eNTIRELY sure though” and yoongi hates him for it!!

there’s just something about yoongi that you can’t shake off

and you don’t wanna fall that deep because it’s just a crush!! just a harmless crush and u know you aren’t probably gonna stand a chance :((

although you’re just gonna keep that to yourself because kook will probably lecture you for five minutes and THEN smack you in the head because you’re bringing yourself down again

jungkook knows you’re a natural ace like c’mon yoongi’s just gonna be a piece of cake!!

yeah sure yoongi doesn’t initiate conversation with your or barely holds eye contact and can barely remember your name, only recalls you as part of his team, and can be ignoring the things you’re doing for him bUT I MEAN THAT’S NOT ALWAYS THE DETERMING FACTORS, RIGHT??right??

pls say right

jungkook’s convincing himself as much as you’re convincing yourself that u have a chance with yoongi

you can’t help it :((

you love that smile!! that smile when he knows how good he’s done that he automatically could tell that he’d be getting an extra point since he’s the one who was the fastest on that lap!or that laugh when he pops out a cork of champagne once again and he’s getting the hang of it

his calm demeanor looks so cute even when he isn’t even doing anything in particular and how it could be so hot especially when his stare’s just rigid

you’ve been in celebratory going out parties in bars with your team to know that yoongi’s just boisterous and chatty when he gets drunk

he even gets cLINGY to whoever’s sitting beside him and it’s usually jimin and he can even make jimin yield to having oNE more shot with him :((

in meetings too!!!

yoongi’s personal style is just mostly black and sometimes when he’s feeling spicy, he’d add in some random pastels or perhaps even a small nEON detail

his cheeks tooyou just wanna kiss them so bad :(((

they’re so plump and full whenever he pouts and smiles and you have to gRIP your fist just to get rid of the l*nging in your system

YOONGI HAS PIERCED EARS TOO

MULTIPLE PIERCINGS!!!you’ve never seen him wear earrings tho and that’s saddening

jewelry, most especially on drivers, is just a big no-no because just in cAse the driver catches on fire or not, it’s still a big hazard

you once saw yoongi walking in the hallway just as you were about to exit the elevator to go to ur hotel room and he was wearing a wATCH

u almost went feral goddamn

you see yoongi again after your caffeine pill advance on him? a necklace, maybe? those thick chain bracelets like the ones jungkook wears? him wearing rings? it could be a blinged-out diamond band or a heart-shaped plastic ring from a kinder egg and you would sTILL GO FERAL

“i just wish — j-just wish that red string lovers exist in real life, y’know, kook?? do you get what i’m saying?”

jungkook wishes that was a real thing too

you’re just a bit vulnerable because u have some alcohol in your system

a little bit emotional

meanwhile jungkook is just straight up bland and is up for no fun

three-drink jungkook is boring

you should see five-drink jungkook!! hE’S A WILD ONE that could backflip with a 70% success rate of not throwing up after

“i do. i wish that red string lovers do exist. kind of like that movie, kimi no nawa. i love that movie.”

...

“... jungkook. omg a-are you saying i should like, tie a red string on my pinky and tHEN on yoongi’s pinky!! in this way, i could always be connected to him and we’re like never gonna stay away from each other!!”

...

“i believe that would be called stalking.”

“no i meant fIGURATIVELY”

this three-drink jungkook is no fun

what you’re gonna do is get him to drink more because the motto for pit crew members is “drink as if it’s your last because it IS!!!”

drinking kinda messes up workout routines and the semi-strict diet the members are put on to ensure you’re all strong and enduring

so drinking is just reserved for wins or when the crew chief allows it and MAYBE just maybe when you and kook decide to get a lil sip and sharing a can won’t hurt :D

“okay, okay. another one!! drink another one!!”

you have to physically make jungkook drink because he doesn’t wanna hold the shot glass claiming that it’s too dirty and before he gets iffy even more, you just bring the glass to his lips and even put a hand underneath his chin because you are tHAT great of a friend

sometimes you just need to credit yourself for being a really great best friend to jungkook

four-drink jungkook is a BUNNY

he’s starting to ascend to his five-drink state and therefore through the process, he’s crinkling his nose more

the nose crinkle and the smile that highlights his two front teeth has always been in effect but this one’s just more persistent

he doesn’t hop like a bunny tho or like even stand because that’s six-drink dance bot jungkook’s moves

instead

he just-

cHOMPFS

jungkook’s just biting down on your shoulder SOFTLY

the same gentleness of a golden retriever with an egg on its mouth!!he’s not nibbling or biting down or anything!! he’s just oMPH :D

there’s no rhyme or reason to why he’s doing this and you’re unsure either lmao you’ve told him before what he does drunk when he’s sober and he goes?? lol what i do tHAT???

you don’t mind honestly

you’re thankful that you’re wearing a black hoodie and it’s made with a fluffy cotton material!! it’s a win-win and u can even feel jungkook smiling

the alcohol isn’t hitting you JUST yet but u. r aware that you’re getting a tad more chatty now and then suddenly you’re telling jungkook a summary of this sugar stars episode in which they were supposed to make cupcakes for this luxury jewelry brand and in oNE of the cupcakes there should be like a necklace worth thousands of dollars bUT THEY FORGOT IF THEY ALREADY PUT IT IN THE BATCH AND-

“hey, is this guy bothering you, y/n?”

you hear a velvety voice interrupting you and it’s oddly familiar

said person extends his hand to put on your shoulder and you kinda jolt at the sudden contact and it’s just goosebumps“.... yoongi?”

:O

yoongi’s on your left side and u could clearly see him nowhE LOOKS LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO SQUARE UP

i mean truth be told he wASN’T supposed to be here because after placing 3rd he just didn’t wanna go part because for wHAT and he wanted to go to bed instead

but them jimin called him and asked if he was sure because like... the entire team is here and the owner of the bar is a FAN and all drinks are on the house so,,,

he jUST got here and while he was looking for jimin, the first thing he sees is the back of your head (he’s memorized it hehe) and a guy bITING DOWN ON YOUR SHOULDER and yours hands are gesturing and shit

and so he’s beyond confused to see you confused over seeing him all confused and perhaps protective

“yoongi!!”

u practically squeal and ur not gonna hide that

although he just ignores that because he’s focused on some more pressing matters at hand

“man, seriously, what the fuck? can you just back off-“

yoongi is literally about to pull jungkook away from you because up to now this dude is NOT reading the room and the fact that he is 2 seconds away from decking him

“no nO yoongi!! it’s okay lol he’s my best friend! he’s not-“

there’s a delay on words sinking to jungkook’s ears so he’s just now reacting lmao

“mfhsIR thif if mY EMOFYONAL FUPPORT MFFSHOULDER”

jungkook’s angrily lifting his eyes but not his face with it so he’s-

oH THAT’S YOONGI :D

“this is my friend who’s kinda drunk and bITES my shoulder when he’s drunk aha jungkook!! say hi, gguk”

“hI YOOMGIIII!!! i’m jungmkook :D”

kook takes a quick second to lift himself off your shoulder to give an eager wave to yoongi

oH that face is familiar

jungkook?

jungkook jungkook oH THIS IS THE JUNGKOOK HE ASKED JIMIN ABOUT

whew

honestly he was kinda scared because when yoongi got a closer look when he was fuming, jungkook looked like a big buff guy and he was a little scared because-oh jungkook just went back to biting your shoulder ://

“i thought you weren’t gonna come?”

“i thought i was gonna fight sOMEONE”

hehe

you can’t help but feel a lil bit happy that omg yoongi cares for u

and although he’s mistakened jungkook as a pervert whose modus operandi is to bite at shoulders, it’s still the thought that counts!!!!

your right shoulder that has kook attached to it feels indifferent and your left shoulder that yoongi touched for a second is ON FIRE

be still, be calm. be still, be calm. be still, be — OMG YOONGI IS SITTING BESIDE YOU FUCK

“it’s jungkook, right?”

he, for sure, knows that it is jungkook alright but he just wants to ask u know

just to be sure

although you’re kinda oblivious to the fact that he’s directing the question to you more than to jungkook himsELF bc you’re very much swayed by his gummy smile

“yeah!! he’s jungkook, alright :D”

“this might be a stupid question to ask but uh i’ve just never seen him oR like maybe it might just be my memory but jungkook’s in our team, right??? or like nO?”

“o-oh aHA about that yoongi,, sir,, actually jungkook isn’t in our team, ya know? but he DOES support us and is like whoosh a fAN of you :))”

he is having too much fun with this one

“really? but i saw him in the box before, with you, i think? lol u silly goose if you have a boyf-“

“jUNGKOOK ISN’T MY BOYFRIEND! he never was!! yoongi trust me i am very single right now i mean it!! 100%”

“are you sure? like-“

“he’s just my best friend ever since college and we’re not a thing i sWEAR!! you see him in the box sometimes because he just needs someone to buy him nachos from the stalls aND he’s a pit stop crew member for jung hoseok-“

you’d like to think that you are diffusing this situation very well

“-and that tOTALLY doesn’t matter because pfft?! i don’t even know jung hoseok like wHAAAAAT does he uhm race or sth?? whew am i right lmao can i get an amen? ᵖˡˢ ˢᵃʸ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵖˡˢ”

yoongi already knows this bit of information and his eye does twitch at the mention of hoseok like how mr. bean is with mozambique but it’s COOL seeing you flustered is getting a really cheesy smile out of him

“do you rap?”

“no but do you want me to”

yoongi snorts and giggles at that and meanwhile you are getting THE nervous sweats because obviously you weren’t prepared for this

damn it :( you should’ve just kept jungkook sober so he could “wingman the fUCK out of you” in his own words

the only thing you could do that’s the closest to rapping is have jungkook beatbox in the background while u go bow chicka wowow bow cHICKA WOW :((

“you’re funny.”

yoongi’s still kinda dying at giggling throughout the whole interaction but he really means it sincerely ok

QUICK IS THAT A COMPLIMENT OR AN INSULT

“thanks :))”

fUck it you should’ve just said a one-liner or something, not a timid thanks or would that be trying too hard

you are getting too panicked and nervous now and the only out you see is-

“ggukie!! you want another drink?”

bless up

bless jungkook’s soul for immediately agreeing and before you know it, you’re lifting another shot glass to his lips with a hand underneath his chin

you’re gonna help him with his hangover tomorrow because he’s saving yOUR ass by easing the tension of how pATHETICALLY nervous you are with yoongi

yoongi’s persevering too because this jungkook guy has hands.. what?? does he drink his water from a formula bottle??? DOES HE NEED MILK

chile why is he getting jealous

it’s not like he’s become fond of you nor got attached to this girl that gave him a caffeine pill placed on a napkin bed after much observation of him and the sentiment behind it just makes him mushy

lol

couldn’t be him :))

:)

...

....

SIKE IT’S HIM THAT’S HIM :(((

“YOOOOOOONGIIIIIIIIIII!!!”

oh god 

oh no

it’s a drunk jimin :(

a drunk, happy, gIGGLY JIMIN

“Y/NNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!”

you’re quite surprised at the sight because uH you’re used to jimin the grumpy crew chief

nOt jimin the giggly person who’s giggling at the little rainbows ur bracelet makes when the light hits it and who’s complimenting your hoodie sO HARD

mom come pick me up im scared

“y/n O-M-G where did you get those earrings because they r the bomb dot COM”

“jimin what did u drink because i am LOVING it”

“a pomelo gin mix or like fOUR of them.”

yoongi answers for jimin because he knows all too well

woop jimin’s hugging him now and his grip is tight o-okay i guess i’ll... keep you... still?

it’s not jimin’s fault :( he just likes pretty drink i mean could u blame him :(((

“aish those pack a punch for sure. you could barely taste the gin because of the juice-“

“-but it gets you drunk nonetheless no matter how much you drink it.”

:D

:D

you and yoongi are straight up CONNECTING right now vibing if u will

“yeah and some light it up on fire then take it out so it would taste smoother and seamless!!”

that’s it he’s had enough yoongi will propose to you rIGHT NOW he thought he was the only one who knew that fact

oR KNEW THE DIFFERENCE

or knew the reason for it that isn’t just to make it look cool

oh man you feel so sorry for pegging yoongi as just one of those “all beers taste the same” dudes in senior year :’’’)

“jUNGKOOOOOOOK!!!”

jimin kinda ruins the moment by opening his mouth being all excited as he points excitedly to look at who’s beside you

“YOOOOOOOOOONGIIIIIII!!!!”

“oh oh! shh!!! you’re not supposed to be here but it’s ok jungkooooook!!! i’ll just close my eyes!!!”

“h-hey guys *hiccup* have you seen jimin? because i can’t see him!!”

that’s not... that’s not how it works...

jungkook is giggling so hard and jimin’s gonna roll over anytime if it isn’t for yoongi holding him

“omg jungkook’s earrings look like windchimes :D”

“y/n omg jIMIN’S RIGHT! they do look like windchimes :D”

“i bet they also sOUND LIKE WINDCHIMES :D” jimin’s leaping out of yoongi’s hold eagerly and the both of u just know that this is gonna go bad

he’s about to faceplant because he’s slipping the moment he decided to break free

it’s a good thing you’re catching him and jimin’s embracing you now while

his legs are slack on the floor and jungkook the drunk dumbass thought it was an emergency

and in times of emergency apparently, jungkook’s move is try and hop on your back for a piggyback ride“okay, okay, time to get off y/n now!!”

yoongi chuckles as he pries jimin off of you and onto himself instead

jungkook sTILL won’t give up into having a piggyback ride from you hmp

“hey, wanna split an uber?

”you like that idea very much :D“who’s gonna sit with them at the back, though?”

“you can give me your number and i’ll volunteer tribute :))”:D

that’s good

this is good

yeah sure yoongi might’ve had to sit in the middle of jimin and jungkook that are messes

and has to endure it when young, wild and free by wiz khalifa came on aND

jimin went owo “young sound like yoongi omg”

and jungkook went and followed and the whole lyrics were yoongi wild and yoongi free

but that’s ok

that’s okay!!!

he had to say goodbye to you two floors early because that’s where jungkook’s room is and u need to tuck him in

the most he could do was walk you to the door while having a sleepy jimin use him as a crutch

all worth it though :))

“thanks for tonight, yoongi :))”

and there’s just this tentative silence because the both of you kinda felt dejected because you didn’t want tonight to end, truthfully

you press a tentative lil kiss on his cheek and

:O

“good night.”

yoongi’s cheek is tingling aHHHHHH HE’S ABOUT TO BURST

that’s so precious

YOU’RE SO PRECIOUS

alcohol doesn’t fix everything bUT ON RARE OCCASIONS IT COULD BE A BRIDGE

jungkook woke up with a killer headache because apparently when you and yoongi weren’t looking, jimin let him have a sip of his drink and he was immediately :O

but you did lessen it to an amount!!!!!

he could barely register what happened last night but what he did remember is yOONGI

just yoongi

aND THAT MEANS HE COULDN’T REMEMBER UR LITTLE CHEEK KISS :D

eventually you’d tell him but not now

jungkook’s all smiles when you were telling him on how you tucked him to bed and eVEN caved into giving him a piggyback ride

your explanation of you making him drink a full bottle of water and then some more is the reason to why he felt bloated and every time he moved in his deep sleep he was just sLOSHING around

although you didn’t get to do his skincare routine on him because he likes tapping his face

and tapping jungkook’s face while he’s drunk is like choosing death because he’d think that there were little ants on his face and he’d freak the fUck out

so you just took a makeup wipe to get the dirt off his face and put on a face mask!! minimal effort!! maximum results!! efficiency :D

yours and jimin’s dynamic is chANGING FOR THE BETTER he’s getting warmer to you now!!!

you did tease him one time about the pomelo gin drink and he glared at you

but then you whispered to his ear

“if it’s between your choice of pomelo pink gin and yoongi’s whiskey? i’d pick pink gin all the way :D”

jimin gasped out loud

friendship? bUILDING

you and yoongi??

safe to say that you’re on the closer side :D

i mean tECHNICALLY you aren’t on the commitment boat yet or like… you haven’t had a date yet…. or held hands…..

but you’re getting there!!! iT’S A PROCESS

you’ve always been his supporter in the sidelines but now u r a full-pledged cheerleader for him in the moments that you aren’t tending to his car or tending to work

practice sessions are held starting two days before the race

it’s literally just for practice and it’s for the driver to get familiar and to test out some things that may need to be tweaked furthermore

this is the only time the drivers get to drive the cars besides the actual race itself

and the race is held on sunday!!!!

two practice sessions on friday that last one and a half hours each

and a final practice session on saturday that lasts for an hour

obviously you’re there

bUT when you’re not in use, you just completely revert to cheering for yoongi by the barrier!!!“GO YOONGS!!!!!”

jimin sends you a look to keep it down because even though he has his headphones on he could sTILL hear you

you shut up of course but not without waving your hands in the air whenever yoongi’s car comes into your view :D

in qualifying sessions too!!! these are to determine the driver’s grid positions in the actual race

and eVERY driver’s goal is to earn pole position, the front-most and most advantageous position from the starting line!!!

pole position doesn’t automatically mean that you’re the winner but it does help the driver to ace at that closer!!!

you shut up in qualifying sessions because in fact, you’re nervous too there are six more races to this whole season and each one is important because yoongi and hobi?? they’re just neck-to-neck with their scores and although yoongi’s on the lead, he could nEVER BE COMPLACENT

yoongi’s pole-sitter undoubtedly with his performance and then could you breathe a sigh of relief :))

he’s stripping his racing suit slightly and by that he means taking off the velcro and getting the zipper undone and taking off his balaclava and

oBVIOUSLY his helmet

fact: race suits are extremely light but are sO HOT

yeah sure there’s been upgrades to it and that it has cooling properties now but u can’t exactly feel that when you’re gonna be in it for atleast an hour doing a proper race

his routine lately is going sTRAIGHT to you after he finishes whatever he’s doing

“you didn’t cheer me on :((“

“that’s because i was too busy rooting for you in my mind :))”

“well then root for me with your mOUTH”

“what”

“wHAT??”

yoongi’s just being a little petty and cranky, that’s all

it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t give much affection, he automatically doesn’t want to rECEIVE it :(((

admittedly, you’re kinda cutting off from the physical affection with yoongi lately because jungkook quizzed you and you’re pretty sure that you were in a default :O after

“who texts first?”

“me!! our schedules don’t exactly match up because he has a different trainer than our pit crew does but i just wanna wake up extra early to send him a text :))”

“who sleeps earlier?”

“yoongi!! lmao he loves resting whenever he can aND he even brings this diffuser with him whenever we gor from hotel to hotel!!”

“who goes to who more frequently?”

“oOoOhhh i love visiting yoongi!!! whenever i surprise him he just looks so shocked and eventually it sinks in to him”

“who exerts more effort?”

“kook i — oH.,..,.”

of course jungkook is so happy for you because look at you!! you went from admiring yoongi from afar to hanging out with him actively and even going so far as to have him kiss your cheek once!!

but no matter how supportive he is, he jus wants to be as realistic too because he doesn’t want you hurt

yes he admires how you are with him but like mAYBE you’re far in too deep and yoongi is not on the same level

and so you just came to the conclusion that maybe you were just being too enthralled in it to not see that yoongi doesn’t find the concept of you

and him together as desired as you found it to be

:((

and so maybe you’ve been detaching yourself lately

you stay in bed sleeping for as long as you’d like, and the only alarm clock you have is jimin ringing the bell on your door to let you know that training

was to start

jimin quickly catched on to what you were doing because he’s seeing less of you around yoongi??? surprisingly???

and he just couldn’t keep it in to not know what was happening so he asked jungkook

then jungkook was positively surprised and happy because jimin???? coming to him personally to ask???? omg he is gonna spill of course and so jimin was like eh… it’s the least i could do i guess….

five rings of the doorbell to wake you up

seven rings to let you know that training’s gonna start in ten minutes

ten rings to oPEN YOUR DAMN DOOR

you didn’t linger around yoongi unnecessarily and you weren’t sending those specifically niche templates you see on instagram that make you laugh

he doesn’t receive the “you’re a daughter of an astronaut and a swimmer and you’re not sure which aesthetic to pick because you’re too dizzy from accidentally inhaling chlorine in the big-ass man-made pool since you intern at nasa and u just need to lie down” lookbooks :(

he thought of it as nothing at first because eh they’re just little things!!! he barely notices anyway

WRONG

yoongi feels so devastated because why :(( won’t :(( you just :(( hUG HIM OUT OF THE BLUE LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO

these days he feels so on edge because aHa!! anytime now, y/n’s gonna hug me :D

but then you dON’T

yoongi put on extra perfume because you like burrowing your nose to his neck whenever you hug him and wHY aren’t you hugging him

wait maybe it’s the perfume that’s throwing you off??

nevermind he’s gonna buy another hundred-dollar bottle of a different perfume it’s ok nO WORRIES and sometimes you don’t join the team breakfast and yoongi’s all lost

because hMmM??? i got u these pancakes a-and i already put the butter and the syrup….. why aren’t you here…

you’re with jungkook and his team knows about your friendship and how it came to be and they’re all just eH it’s okay y/n’s cool anyways :))

hobi’s so kind

jungkook sits in the same table as hobi and therefore that means you sit beside kook and u have no choice because he WILL insist

not because you’re his friend but also because he’s too lazy to stand and get another serving so he’ll just steal some from your plate

hobi eVEN offers to refill your glass with orange juice because his is gone too and he’s gonna get more anyway :))

yoongi can’t go over it though and he’s just wallowing because first, hoseok’s aiming for his title that he wants to retain, and nOW HOSEOK’S COMING FOR HIS Y/N???

ok his might be a little bit of a reach because he hasn’t asked you out yet but he iS getting there

he swears that he feels so lost without u :((

and so yoongi’s persistent and he vouched his day-off to be aligned with your gym day aaaand he’s here now :D

he’s right behind you!!

“hiii.”

yoongi squeezes in on the space left at your side

well you dIDN’T expect yoongi today clearly“hi pls back up a little i mAY accidentally kick you :D”

you’re doing pull-ups at the moment and you’re getting the hang of doing them!! even if this used to be the bane of your existence in your workout program and you’d sell your soul just for jungkook to call you and cry on the phone and pretend he stubbed his toe or something to get out of training

so tHAT’S yoongi’s greeting??? :((

“i haven’t seen you lately”

“hmm? i see you everyday, yoongs”

“rEALLY??”

you’re only discovering now that while doing pull-ups, you can aLSO make and maintain conversation!!

yoongi’s a bit sarcastic because your full attention isn’t on him and he guesses that it’s a given when you’re working out bUt are you even hearing what he’s saying :((

“doesn’t feel like it, though.”

ok that one made you falter a little bit

“how can you say??”

he practically huffs at that and that also goes noticed

how can you not know that???

he’s a patient person but with you, he just gets sO eager and whiney and now he just can’t cope!!!

just when he thought you were finally go down because you were slowing your movements, you were oNLY doing that just to regain your momentum for another set AND!!!

fine then :))

yoongi’s jumping up and his hands wrap around the higher bar snugly, his body pressed to yours

he’s so close oh my god yOONGI’S SO CLOSE TO YOU

you’re suspended in air and a bit breathless and yoongi’s just hanging slack and he’s about to burst into a smile because uH success!!!

his lips look so kISSABLE and his cheeks are plump and his eyes are v enchanting and wHEW you’re sweating at this point and it’s nOt from working out

yoongi only tilts his head as he earns the reaction he wanted and more :D

“who’s your trainer? sehun?”

“y-yeaHh???”

“m’kay.”

he’s not content just yet and for a split second, yoongi tilts his face to the side of yOUR face and his lip barely brush to the shell of your ear

“i’ll pull you out of this one. eat lunch with me.” the sound of yoongi dropping back down to the floor makes you jOLT because oh.,., oh that rEALLY DID JUST HAPPEN HUH

what a menace

your heart is too weak for yoongi

you are sO whipped :’’’)

so whipped that you cave into jungkook’s demands

jungkook’s aLWAYS been your sticker guy

he just has stickers… that he either makes or acquires but he isn’t telling where from… and either gives or sells them to u

he has this label maker too that could print your name on or whatever you want to put on your stuff

he would even input little stars or little hearts or even lil dinosaurs if you want him to!!!

you don’t know how and why but wHEREVER you go, jungkook always has stickers on him

AND THIS IS REALLY SPECIAL OK

you specifically told jungkook to curate like a ten-pack out of the things you told him about yoongi

he has the reigns aS LONG as he thinks (and it better be) that it screams min yoongi!!

it’s just that you wanna give gifts to yoongi and you don’t need aNY occasion just to give presents

you were deep in thought and your head blanked and then went…

stickers…. get him stickers

snickers???

…. stickers ….

sNEAKERS???

…. stickers dUMB BITCH i said stickers!!!! …..

lol u love ur mind

and when you said that to jungkook, he fell both honored AND pressured like what if yoongi decides not to like you anymore because of your (his) sticker choices

what then

damn ur wrong for this

jeez jungkook’s becoming the backbone of your blossoming relationship ://

sigh but it’s cool,, jungkook’s used to becoming a fundamental part to society

jungkook’s ringing your bell so early in the morning because he just got done last night with completing his collection!! and you iMMEDIATELY need to see it as per his insistence

ok they r pretty cool

there’s yoongi’s name in a really cool yet sophisticated font that just screamed yoongi to you!!

there’s Agust D in a big bold formal font!! you remember that story of how yoongi was born and raised briefly in daegu then they had to move and he misses his hometown

he was about to use Agust D as his name when he first tried out for racing but the name itself made so many heads turn so he was just,,, too spicy,,,

i’ll make it suga

OMG YOUR INITIALS

jungkook’s wild for that one but omg you’re giggling because wow u like that

“clouds?? and the sky’s purple??”

“i think eVERYBODY likes clouds”

“well some pilots don’t”

“what makes them think that clouds like them back?”

wait

“a cat??… flipping me off???”

“lol ok funny story but yoongi flipped me off once LMAOOO”

“… he did what”

“i’ll tell u the story later but this, THIS — okay i don’t know if it’s just me, but yoongi looks like a cat, y’know?? like i sWEAR i could see cats in him, and then i see him in cats. do you get me??”

“gguk-“

“and he wears headbands, right? LOOK I EVEN DREW HIM A HEADBAND!! :D”

ok you aren’t gonna lie

this ten-pack goes pretty fucking hard if you may say so

“how much do i owe you, kook?”

“that would be fifty dollars :D”

“fifty wait wHAT?? FIFTY DOLLARS?? WHAT??? JUNGKOOK SAY SIKE”

psh atleast it was worth a shot

“fine. tHIRTY dollars.”

“THIRTY DOLLARS?????”

you know for a fact that these ten stickers aREN’T worth tHIRTY DOLLARS

the highest jungkook’s ever charged you is $10 for a pack of ninety-nine he even took one from the sticker booklet and he only said that after he sold it to u

you both know that these aren’t $30 :((

it’s always a take it or leave it situation because you know hobi is a sucker for stickers :((

“…. fine.” you pull thirty dollars from your wallet and that’s thirty dollars ur never gonna get back

jungkook’s a bit frazzled because wHAT

you actually gave him tHIRTY dollars??

they don’t even cOST _____ dollars!!!

it’s just awkward now when he tries to take back what he said

“… as a special gift.,.,. i’m gonna put them.,.,. in a nice envelope.,., that i uh doodled hearts on…”

quick if jungkook was a seller on redbubble, how many stars would you rate him

this better have a gREAT PAYOFF

spoiler alert: it did!!!

YOONGI LOVES THEM

“i mean i’m not saying you should put these on your race car because i kNOW every gram matters on it and like — sTICKERS!! u can stick them anywhere am i right :D”

:O

“do you uh,, do you like it? ˡᵃʸ ᶦᵗ ᵈᵒʷⁿ ᵍᵉⁿᵗˡʸ ᵒⁿ ᵐᵉ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ”

“y/n bABY ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? i love them sO MUCH!! like look aH OMG IT’S ME THAT’S — I’M SUPPOSED TO BE THIS CAT RIGHT???”

it went great!!!

above and beyond than what you expected

“thank you thank you dO YOU KNOW that you’re the best eVER :(((“

yoongi is so touched and awed over a pack of sTICKERS and it’s the little joys and you that make him the happiest

he’s so excited and pumped because he can’t pick on where to put them because they’re so precious and in the same time he doesn’t wanna use them because they’re tOO precious

yoongi’s about to kiss your cheek in the same time you wanna explain some of them and-

oh

he’s kissing the corner of your mouth

he only realizes when you squeak a little and he feels just so unexplainable with pure bliss that’s going through his body omg

and then yoongi pulls away to gauge your reaction because he was iNITIALLY gonna go for a cheek kiss but now that’s out of the bank because he wants more and-

oh god his cheeks are already on fire and tHIS WAS JUST A KISS TO THE CORNER OF YOUR MOUTH ACCIDENTALLY

it’s time to clear his throat and attempt to clear his mind“is uHhH sehun? 

sehun the trainer today?”

“yeaH it’s sehun…”

yoongi please say what i want you to say

pleathe

“i can — i cAN bail you out, if you want.,.. you uH ˢʰᶦᵗ do you wanna go karting with me?? like, right now??? it’s okay if you don’t wanna bUt i mean ᶠᵘᶜᵏ uhHhH-“

“yeah :)) i wanna go karting with you :))”

yoongi’s a mess and hE’S the nervous one now and he keeps scratching the back of his neck and he can’t maintain eye contact

he was about to explain that he’s not pressuring you wait dID YOU JUST SAY

“yes?? yeah?? oH that’s cool :D”

“do i need to get changed or-“

i mean you’re still in your workout leggings and a big black shirt jungkook has an aBUNDANCE of so u just stole one and tried out embroidery!!

it’s not the best aha

kinda ugly because it’s massive on you and u just take it off whenever the workout progresses to be harder

“no!! no!! don’t worry!! i’ll bring my backpack!! just take yourself, y/n, i’ll take care of you ʷᵃᶦᵗ ʷᵃᶦᵗ aHA!!! i’ll pack my shirts for you and water and like snacks omg i will be back in fIVE minutes!!!”

there’s kinda no protest since yoongi’s already dashing out of your hotel room and into his… and he’s leaving you alone and he swears that this will only take fIVE minutes

he’s a nervous wreck

but yOU are too

because wait

this is your first date!!

THIS COUNTS AS YOUR FIRST DATE

oh god you are gonna cOMBUST

it did take five minutes and perhaps even earlier!!

yoongi’s managed to even get a cap for you and sUNBLOCK

he has a driver hired and that’s kinda ironic because hE’S the driver but he doesn’t mind!!!

he’s sitting with you at the second row and you’ve never really properly been out the city ever since you got here because leisure trips aren’t exactly in your schedule

the buildings and the scenery are so cool and authentic and yoongi’s just staring at you as you stare out :(((

why are you so beautiful :(((

he’s envisioned taking you out for go-karting as your first date but nOT NOW

yoongi’s accidentally kissed you once on the corner of your mouth and he is now forever a changed man

his mind immediately went wOOP take y/n karting nOW

yoongi has a pinterest board with ideas for a first date

picnics are cute but there’s just so much aNTS and mosquitoes and flies would go to ur food when you turn away for a single second!!!

not to mention that he never checks the weather reports lmao

and grass with how soggy they could he eVEN if it didn’t rain???

disgusting

there’s always the option of dinner dates too

but sometimes they could be just SO boring and it’s a hit or miss whether you’d like the food because you don’t like overly fancy restaurants y’know

not to mention that they r overrated and the food isn’t that good to your taste bUT maybe that’s just you

he’s searched this place up a couple days ago and look!!! they have karts that have tWO seats on them

maybe he could rent out the place or pull out the “no it’s MIN YOONGI” card and he can drive you around and stuff :D

it’s postive to say that you’re vERY excited

“last one to cross the finish line buys the winner gifts for a whole week bYEEEE”

wait

that’s not-

tHAT’S NOT HOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO GO

apparently this is how yOU want it to go

the idea of yoongi driving you around in go-karts didn’t cross your mind once

you thought that you were gonna race against him and gOD ARE YOU SO EXCITED

you work on cars not drive in cars

the closest you’ve ever went to karting is going on bumper cars when jungkook took you to the amusement park!!!

it’s not racing because all you and kook did was bump the other as mUCH as possible to the point that the attendant was :/// are they ok

you know how to drive!!!

not to flex or anything but u dO have a professional driver’s license aha :D

although that doesn’t mean shit if ur kinda being honest

do you know how to drift a car like what they do in fast and the furious?? probably yes

jungkook was “breaking in” his car and he took you to the dealership with him and the car just felt so sTIFF and then he saw an empty parking lot….

and well you didn’t exactly STOP him because it isn’t your car

how could you stop someone from doing something that you yourself wANT to do

can you drive as fast as yoongi?? possibly yes

will it be as clean and as easy as he makes it to be?? heck no

yoongi’s chasing after you because oh you are dEDICATED now to racing against him

you’re even scrambling to put your race suit on iN FRONT OF HIM and it makes him all flustered as he tries to keep up by turning and putting on his own

“now don’t go easy on me, okay???”

yoongi’s a bit confused because what did u just say

not to fuel his ego or anything but madame he is a race car driver and it runs in his blood and the skill is in his name

he loves u (although he hasn’t said that yet) but he doesn’t want to ruin all your hopes and dreams

“just race as what you normally do and i’ll do my oWN!!! :D”

o-okay

you’re fast!!!as fast as go-karts could go!!!

you even turned down yoongi’s offer of a ten-second head start because wHERE’S THE FUN IN THAT

you are as happy and as giddy as you could ever be

yoongi, on the other hand, is worried a ton

you’re still a bit cautious when it comes to curves and to turning and

yoongi’s heart physically stops whenever you go through them because now you’re starting to pick up the pace around them

you’re getting used to the curves as you go on and you’re starting to maintain speed aND go through curves smoothly

he’s happy that you’re happy but god he’s just tERRIFIED okay

the list of what could possibly go wrong is evading his mind and for god’s sake, he’s a rACE CAR DRIVER HIMSELF!!!!! with custom top-speed cars and not go-karts!!! and not once did this list cross his mind whenever he drives

it’s just now hitting him that his profession’s dangerous

but your profession tOO is dangerous!!!

you may not be the driver put you are a part of the pit stop crew that tends to the car the driver’s racing!!!!

fIRES!!! pneumatic torque guns that are sO DANGEROUS!!!! wheels!!!!! gas!!!!! the driver himself when he’s in a rush and could possibly injure people along the way!!!!!

yoongi’s going down on a spiral so harsh that he didn’t even notice that not only did you pass him, but you’re also farther away from him sIGNIFICANTLY and before he knows it, you finished first!!

:D

“yoongs yoongs did you see me dID YOU SEE ME?????? :D”

you jump up to yoongi the moment he gets out of his kart and he instantly catches you and puts his hands underneath your thighs to secure you

your arms are even around his neck and you are incredibly close to yoongi more than you could ever wrap your head around

“mhmmmm ‘course i did!!”

he mindlessly hums and he just takes the time to see you up close like this before you realize and yelp later on because ur flustered

god yoongi’s never cared for anyone this much before

he’s falling in so hard

and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, right?

the moment you stop talking and gushing is the moment you realize that yoongi’s been awfully quiet all throughout, making you look down and-

yoongi’s kissing you

for rEAL this time

god he is putty in your hands and he’s extremely mushy

your lips are sO soft that he feels like he could die a happy man

you don’t know if your getting this adrenaline from the rush you got from winning or if it’s just the desire to kiss him for so long that’s fueling you but either way

yoongi feels a little tug on his roots and that instinctively makes him kiss you a little deeper

his kisses taste so gOOD TOO

although you DO need to breathe every once in awhile

:D

yoongi has the biggest gummy smile on his face and his legs feel like giving out because he feels sO HAPPY

you don’t fight the grin on your face either because wow :D that was just wHoosh!!! the suspense built up to it was incomparable oh god the tENSION before

he doesn’t mind losing then :)

“one more? :D”

oh god u are rEALLY whipped for yoongi

and this puts the two of you on ANOTHER level okay

he’s gotten more affectionate and showy almost

jimin’s kinda concerned because sometimes he sees yoongi smiling out of the blue and he’s just…. what is this guy ON…..

jungkook’s so excited and happy for you!!!

he keeps pushing that this wouldn’t have happened if it isn’t for his overpriced stickers

he wants you to tell him EVERYTHING

“yeah?? and tHEN WHAT????”

he is a little jealous however because not all your time is spent on hanging out with him anymore

or how a particular someone would be joining your hangouts from time to time aka yoongi being a third wheel

…. or maybe jungkook’s the third wheel ….

lol impossible :)))))))

[ jeon jungkook continiously tries to deny the truth to himself as always ]

he could be nosy yes bUT he’s always curious

although

“so he’s finally your boyfriend?”

he makes sense most of the times

now that you think about it.,.,.

wait

oh

wAIT YOONGI ISN’T YOUR BOYFRIEND

you aren’t sure either if there’s a label already set?????

because as far as you know, kissing someone doesn’t automatically translate to gREAT UR MY PARTNER IN LIFE NOW

oh no

it’s all good!!!

all good!!!!

you could open this up to yoongi later!!!

oh wait he’s busy

tomorrow then!!!!

uH nope he’s busy

the other day then :))

yoongi keeps getting busy and busy as he explains to the point that you’re in the same floor but you aren’t even seeing each other

he isn’t lying to you, right??

this isn’t about the kiss, right?????

goddamn you jungkook :((

the gears in your head are turning because oh god what if yoongi’s realized that he doesn’t want to commit to you

or that this is as long as a free netflix trial and your time’s up and you need to gO

it also feels oddly sketchy too because yoongi’s only become suddenly busy and almost unreachable ever since the kiss

it is, in fact, about the kiss

god yoongi himself feels that he’s an asshole

he’s suddenly second-guessing his decisions

he’s went down the rabbit hole of thinking that mAYBE you deserve better than him

his name’s kinda big and some rumors follow him too, whether it’s inside or outside the track

yoongi has a track record of ex-girlfriends as what the media wittily dubs it aND HE WON’T DENY IT OK

he does have some ex-girlfriends and his lovelife isn’t talked about within the team because they just treat rumors as rumors and it’s yoongi’s life anyway

but what if news breaks out that you and him are dating

and his track record is brought up once again

aND NOT JUST THAT

because yoongi also feels like he isn’t worthy enough for you :((

he could be bland and too blunt at some points

as opposed to you :(( who’s sometimes too kind and always tries to understand situations and won’t also take shit from anyone

he’s not as spontaneous or charismatic as jungkook

he can’t be as spontaneous as jungkook who’s willing to go to a halloween party with him as mater and you as lightning mcqueen aND PERHAPS IN THE LITERAL COSTUME KIND OR SOMEHOW CLOSE TO IT

he’s not as avid in things that you like as much as jungkook is

he’s just yoongi :((

and he feels like the whole yoongi for y/n thing isn’t enough :((

you haven’t seen yoongi though

and since today’s for the practice sessions, this is the time that you’re sURELy gonna see him!!!

that’s the problem though

because seeing someone doesn’t exactly guarantee that they’re gonna pay attention to you

in other words: you think that yoongi might be avoiding you :((

he wasn’t alone as he normally was and just when you were about to approach him, that’s when he left to go get changed

you have no choice too since he goes straight to the track and that was it!!

you’re sneaking in to reply to jungkook who’s asking for updates because he’s as committed to this scenario as much as you were

this is the last practice session anyway

you just want to get this over with so you could go confront yoongi and fix whatever is this that’s happening :((

it doesn’t help, really

doesn’t help when the practice session is over and what yoongi does the first thing when he finishes is not go back to where the team is

or perhaps just hop over the box like he usually does

he goes to kim dahyun,,

kim dahyun

she’s a heiress?? a socialite?? maybe both???

she’s someone who’s known to be always in the front seat when it comes to events

she’d be placed courtside in basketball games and in tennis tournaments and by the side of the runway when it’s fashion week

no one for sure knows why

but her most recent appearances have been banked in these racing weekends and wherever she goes is where articles follow :((

she’s just something else :((

she’s pretty and she’s rich and she’s kim dahyun 

she’s wearing your team’s novelty shirt and she has it tied up in the front 

dahyun has her hair up in a bun and she has this ribbon that corresponded with your team colors wrapped around it

she has these perfect-looking gel nails!! gel nails!!! you could see the shine all the way from here when she’s flashed at the monitor and is in fact a couple of feet away from you!!

the jewelry too :((

gel nails and jewelry are things you’ve always wanted to try out but could barely wear due to the nature of your job

and although they’re just little things, it kinda drives you crazy because you can’t help but feel like you’re having a burnout with your profession

the fact that yoongi’s going to her for reasons unbeknownst to you is enough to make your stomach drop

even puts his hand at the sMALL of her back and-

oh

even does this lil cheek kiss and she does it back with him and they talk

they talk

min yoongi goes to talk to kim dahyun and greet her like that

when you can’t even get the bare minimum of even a glance from him

“aRE YOU SEEING THIS??”

jungkook texts you and it’s the only momentary relief you get because this way, your eyes aren’t focused on them and your heart briefly stops hurting

“yeah.”

you wanna go back to the hotel

you don’t even wanna look at yoongi

you retreat to the furthest area away and just sit there while all this fuss blows over and how there are even some cheers upon seeing yoongi and dahyun up on the monitor

cool

that’s cool

your cheeks feel wet and you’re just wordlessly setting up and putting back the things that were needed for this session

mingyu, the fellow pit crew member who’s aloft from you and the other ones for most of the times even noticed and he was just ???

“y/n, y’okay?”

you can’t even bring yourself to be in surprise that he spoke to you because you’re too busy being sad 

“dust :)) it’s just dust :))”

but it’s not.,., it’s not even remotely windy.,..,

jungkook crashes to your room later that afternoon and stayed with you until you fell asleep

you’re not exactly cHATTY when you feel your heart breaking and kook’s well-aware

just wordlessly puts on whatever’s trending on netflix and puts it up for background noise :((

orders room service and nudges you until you agree to eat 

even strokes your hair because he could see some tears pricking at the corner of your eyes and jungkook automatically presses you to his chest

damn yoongi ://

yoongi’s kinda missing the texts and the calls you’d usually bombard with him 

but this time his phone’s silent

he knows at the back of his mind that this may be about dahyun awhile ago but at the same time, he doesn’t wanna entertain the thought because it’s harmless,,,, right??

dahyun was a friend before she became his girlfriend and tHEN his ex

and now they’re friends again

that’s not exactly harmful isn’t it

yoongi’s eyes keep going back to check his phone every two minutes just to see if there’s a notification from you

and if he gets one? he won’t ignore it he sWEARS

just atleast give him a text

even a passive-aggressive one that just has a single period on it

and hE knows that all of this is building up because of him :((

he’s not quite ready to admit that to himself though

oh my god is this the end for you and yoongi???

you haven’t even started with proper labels aND you’re already over???

this isn’t exactly the high road you always try to go through

but yoongi’s just beyond confusing and angering at this point and is being really uNFAIR

so if he won’t be open no matter how much you try to coax him at his won pace and decides to be immature about it.,.,,,

well you’re gonna stop adjusting :D

today’s the third to the last race and just like any other, it’s heated

you support yoongi the driver but you’re not in the best terms with yoongi the loVER

not a bad start honestly

yoongi didn’t get pole position but instead the third and he was a more than bummed because usually, when he didn’t get pole-sitter, he’d lean on to you for comfort and you’re gonna soothe him throughout

but no that didn’t happen yesterday

jimin just sighed and patted him on the back and said “just do good tomorrow” and how is tHAT gonna be on par with how you comfort him

he’s through about 3/4 into the race

and gOD it’s going seamless

but some things are just piling up and it’s making him completely confused

hobi’s already passed him and at this stretch, he typically wouldn’t be able to because yoongi knows hoseok’s pattern

yoongi’s only had a pit stop once and that’s the strategy that gets him winning most times

but god something just feels odd

jimin comes at the right times as he speaks through the radio and yoongi couldn’t be any more lost

“yoongi you hAVE to box now”

and box equates to him having anOther pit stop when he usually wouldn’t because this isn’t it!!

this isn’t the strategy!!!!

“jimin iF i box now then that means-”

“yoongi!! listen to me!!! jung’s gonna pass ahead wHETHER you box or not. if you wanna save face and finish this race ranking atleast within top 10, box. right. now.”

fuck

his tires are thinning and normally he could sTILL go through the final stretch without another pit stop but fuck is jimin ordering him with so much ferocity

he has no other choice

and yoongi’s angry

he’s sTILL heated up because these circumstance have never happened before

then he finished 7th in this race

and that’s the lowEST he’s ever placed this season!!!

yoongi can’t exactly control his anger when it comes to situations like these and jimin’s very well-aware

he has faith in yoongi and his driving but tHESE technical reasons are what made him to go through this last-minute strategy

jimin’s crew chief and he stands by his decisions and his strategies

there’s no denying tho that he kNOWS yoongi’s gonna be heated

yoongi marches off the moment he finishes

and he’s looking for someone

anyone

you’re there by jimin’s side

and of cOURSE you were shocked by the sudden strategy and you just can’t help going to him to discuss it

you know too that yoongi’s gonna be mAD but after analyzing the situation with jimin when he explained and when you visualized, jimin did make the right call

before you know it though

yoongi’s already there

“Y/N!!!”

oh

this is the first time that yoongi’s speaking to you and you couldn’t be anymore shocked and confused at the same time

the two of you aren’t exactly alone,.,,

he’s had this sudden recollection of yoongi eating dinner with you in your hotel room and you kept asking him questions about racing and strategies and the philosophical aspect of it

and he delved into his strategies with jimin and retold them to you

you were in so much fondness too because he looks so focused and passionate when he was laying them out to you

“dID YOU TELL ABOUT THE STRATEGIES TO JUNGKOOK?”

what

wHAT????

yoongi isn’t level-headed right now and the story’s immediately flipped in his head of how this must have possibly went

jimin’s eyes are bulging at what’s unfolding, but even more so to the fact that you and yoongi aREN’T alone

and he’s here and the other crew members are here

and they can heAR YOONGI!!! loud and clear!!!

“yoongi wHAT are you talking about???”

“don’t play dumb!! you told them to jungkook, didn’t you???”

for a fact, you didn’t

you didn’t tell jungkook nor aNYONE else

what would you benefit from that??

what would yOONGI benefit from that??

“shut up!! you tOld about the strategies to jungkook and he told it to hoseok and nOW look at what happened!!! all of this, all of what i did, is gonna fall through just because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut!!”

jimin’s heart is dropping at this and he can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now

he knows to his heart that you wouldn’t do such a thing

or that all of this has to do with his decision and a series of coincidences that piled up for yoongi to mindlessly think that you’re the reason for what he’s pushing to be a leak

“yoongi, i would never-”

“dON’T TALK TO ME!!”

he’s burning

actually burning

so much so that he’s walking towards you and looking down on you

“you’re fired.”

wait

what the actual fuck

“yOU CAN’T DO THAT!”

“i can.”

jimin’s about to step in as he’s standing behind you and he’s already gripping at your arm

he needs to say something

and you know your standing with jimin isn’t the best but you’re just thinking about him

you know how he’s due for a promotion and a raise

and you know yoongi’s above and beyond gonna ruin his career if jimin dared to speak and atleast attempt to defend you and pin the blame on himself

“and i’m gonna get my father involved if i have to.”

that’s it

that’s the end of your career

you didn’t wait to get fired

knowing yoongi, he means what he says and so you didn’t waste a single second in packing up your bags and rounding up your documents

you already knew enough that yoongi’s dad have connections with the association and a single phone call could flip things over

so whether yoongi’s already made the call to his dad or not, you’re gonna leave either way

you’re making calls to your manager, the same one who came to your college and recruited you and jungkook, and had to explain as much as you can while pulling at all stops

said managers was saddened at the call and then she had to make that call to the ones in the upper positions so could aLSO explain as much as she can

honestly you don’t know either what’s gonna come out of this

either your name would be defamed wrongly, or nO one’s gonna notice at all and your sudden disappearance would have 99 versions and not one confirmed

they think it’s best to respect your decision of letting go and even if you’ve signed a contract, this “firing” is as good as official

also they think it’s best to relay the statement of you making an “indefinite leave” due to a “family emergency of grave importance” which translates to no this isn’t an indefinite leave but instead you’re leaving for good

it’s both a blessing and a curse that this happened far into the season

a blessing since there’s only two races left after this and that means less adjustments with the team dynamic and the news of your departure won’t be as focused on because yeah last two races

a curse since these last two races are critical and yoongi just couldn’t wait until the last one to blame you and then fire you

no worries though

there are always replacements

aka which just points that you’re despensable and it’s nOT helping your self-esteem

backups are there in case the event a pit crew member gets injured (or worse, incapacitated; and they’re familiar with the work and the dynamic so it would be just a seamless fit

and all of that got arranged in less than two hours :)) there was even a flight you managed to book within that time

you didn’t even get to say goodbye to jungkook :((

he had to know all of it by a short n simple goodbye and see you soon text you sent before boarding and by asking jimin what happened

he was cOMPLETELY bawling his eyes out because his best friend left him :(( and he counts on you so much and you help him stay sANE

he’s beyond angry at yoongi and didn’t even bother to bat an eye when he walked past him

jimin feels so guilty and sad

he was a shitty crew chief to you for the most part and after all that, you still went through this considering hIM and his job and his dIGNITY even if it means you lose all three things and you already did

jimin cried when jungkook’s lip started trembling and he lost it completey by then

yoongi’s lost and empty and oblivious to all of this

he figures that it’s better to let some hours pass so he could cool down and reflect

that’s his second mistake however

yoongi’s complacent

and three hours have passed and he knows that at this time you’re still awake so he walked over to your room and just rang the bell

oh

he’s rung it three times now and uSUALLY you wouldn’t even let it pass two when it’s yoongi by the door

that’s weird

yoongi’s about to pull out his phone to call you to open the door but before

he could even press at your name, the door already opens

… it’s a middle-aged man …

“yOU’RE NOT Y/N”

…

…

“wrong door, kid.”

but that’s your room

yoongi knows you’ve left the circuit earlier than everyone because of what happened

that much he knows

but not this

yoongi dials jungkook instead because for sure he’d know where you are but then another door opens and that’s jUNGKOOK!!! leaving jimin’s room that’s a couple of doors from your room

“yA. do-…”

jungkook literally just walks past him and into the elevator

what

what is going ON

then yoongi’s jogging to jimin’s door that’s closing then he manages to wedge into his foot before it closes

“where’s Y/N?”

little did yoongi know that the answer would make him regret even asking you don’t have the slightest clue on how could possibly bounce back from this

maybe take a break; a week perhaps

get a job that’s for sURE

ignore yoongi’s texts and calls

reply to jungkook whenever he contacts you as much as he could in free time that he gets

assure jimin that you’re okay and he has nothing to apologize for

be eternally grateful for your friends that have your back no matter what and help you stay afloat and even giving you a job

bless the kim line

jin, namjoon, and taehyung were your ultimate friends in college besides jungkook

they are the most awesome and sWEETEST friend group you’ve ever had in your life

you didn’t get to hang out with them as frequently like you did with jungkook since the three of them were in the business course and you and kook on the student athlete side

but that didn’t change the fact that you give are inseperable and wHOLESOME

you and jungkook ended up being crew members for a famous and multi-million team in formula racing but you’ve retired wAY too early lmao

the three of them

well

not to brag

but they’re the proud owners and the brawns and the brains of kim kradle

KIM KRADLE!!

it’s a one-stop shop for everything that automobiles could possibly need

but why kim kradle do you ask???

well first of all,,, jin, namjoon, and taehyun have the same family name which is Kim so write that down

kradle? aha well :D

so for babies, there’s cradles, right??

they serve kinda like havens, right??

wHERE was ultron from avengers: age of ultron made??? the cradle. although their shop’s vision and mission are wAY WAY different from ultron’s

and like why name it kim cradle

when you can name it kIM KRADLE

they’ve had calls when they were starting out asking if they were selling baby cradles and the answer is N-O

it’s now a huge successful shop that’s like an open warehouse type!!

basically, the kim kradle is divided into three major operations

general services to intensive repair of parts and basically what goes on internally!! jin is in charge and heads that sector!!

he could see your car for two seconds and go “hey man, did you ever ace your karate lessons? lmao you have a broken fan belt not a black belt”

carwashes and waxing and all that good stuff!! namjoon is a beast at thus and your car could be like from 1997 and he’d clean it so good that it would look like it’s from 2030

customization!! from leather seats to metallic foils to coating!! taehyung has an instagram dedicated to his finished works and ongoing ones and like wHAT?? he has half a million followers?? no big deal

kim kradle is on the massive side and is therefore separated to three floors

namjoon and his carwashes are at the basement in which you’d still get sunlight in because there are inclined pathways on the side that lead out to an outdoor waiting area

jin is on the 2nd floor and basically in the same ground level where the civilization is because his section’s more critical and it’s the obvious option

taehyung gets the 3rd floor, and one part’s covered and the other is like a car balcony so when he finishes?? you could see that sunlight hitting the custom coat he did on your car

either kim kradle is so good, the placement and marketing are perfect, or the owners are just sO attractive and unparalled as to why so many people avail their services and most go through all three levels

maybe the formula is all three of those variables

you came home without knowing a sINGLE thing and being alone in your apartment is appreciated but it gets eerie and so isolating

and you called namjoon late into the night because he always knows what to say and you ended up having more than what you hoped for

you just wanted to have some comfort and ease because also,, namjoon’s voice is really soothing and u miss hearing it

not oNLY did you get some peace of mind

you also got a job without even actively looking for it at the moment and you couldn’t be anymore fulfilled

namjoon said that you could come in at kim kradle anytime at your own pace and they’d still welcome you with open arms

also said that jin and tae miss you sO much and it’s a good thing that namjoon is the one you called because if it’s either from the other two, you wouldn’t be able to sleep and perhaps you’d get visitors to your apartment at 2 in the morning

and this is it!!!

for once, you don’t want to confront a problem to the core

you’re just gonna distract yourself and make your way around it aha :D

two days later??? you’re working in kim kradle now!!!

and you know what??

you eVEN get the overalls

the only three people in kim kradle that wear overalls are jin, namjoon, and taehyung themselves

and it’s to kinda highlight the fact that they’re the owners and the heads of their sections

the rest wear boiler-style like suits 

all their uniforms are cute

like sERIOUSLY

jin is in charge of the color and there are actually multiple ones!! a pale pink to a nice lavender and a dark navy blue!! the first two are kinda impractical because it’s impossible to not get dirty in this job but they ARE adorable and stylish though

namjoon pushed for this uniform and so he really searched and handpicked fabrics that won’t be tOO hot and in which u could actively move in them

but sometimes there are tasks in which involve the straps for the overalls sliding down so tHE next big thing????

namjoon sewing but actually it became tAEHYUNG’S job because he’s gonna poke himself with the needle multiple times before even getting to put a thread in

made a lil hook by the custom shirts down to where it draped by the shoulders and it could hook the straps so like wHATEVER the four of you do, the overalls won’t slip :D

innovation amirite :D

and then it was taehyung’s job to have kim embroidered in really cute cursive by the back and the initials of their first name in a lil formal font below it

and the first names are embroidered in the front!!! 

tae was the one who wrapped the overalls into a large box and you genuinely didn’t expect that you’d be even given one

and it’s just that you’ve been so much on eDGE lately and every little thing turns you emotional these days ever since that incident with yoongi

“is she,,, she’s,,, is y/n sobbing??”

taehyung sputters because oh my god did his gift wrapping throw you off?? jeez he kinda knew at the back of his head that the bright neon green with some balloons saying “happy birthday” even if it’s nOT your birthday looks REPULSIVE and he didn’t have any other gift wrapper left but he didn’t know that it would be too repulsive to make you cry :((

“did we do something??”

jin looks worried because oh god maybe it was the joke he did awhile ago about you suddenly working here now

although namjoon eased their worries and oH you’re hugging the three of them!!!

“i-it’s just that-...”

you were only supposed to thank them for the overalls and the opportunity bUT it took some turns and it ended up with you telling them the story and namjoon having to fill in some gaps when you get too pouty and too sad to explain

tHEY GET IT NOW

anyways

it’s very easy to be thrown in the spur of things at the moment because you’re just grasping at every opportunity to distract yourself!! :D coping mechanisms!!!!

you’re with jin in his section because that’s your work!! that is your work before you got fired and you just got to continue it

but this time with all the time in the world

not really but an hour is a lifetime for you and you’re just used to repairing things in mere seconds

in mere seconds and you have to train for it like almost every second of the day sO this is a nice change :D

“a wrench?? i’m gonna replace the tires using a wrench??”

jin laughs at that because you’re holding it in disgust as you stare down the car that just got brought in

they don’t have a flat tire or anything!! they just wanna get new tires that are as exaggerated as their very-embellished and exaggerated jeep with their specs :D

“they don’t teach you that in racing school????”

://

you know how to replace tires with a wrench and a jack of course

but it’s just hitting you now that oh god this is very alike and different at the same time with your past job!!!

“you dON’T have pneumatic guns?? yeah sure they mAY be expensive but like work would be done quicker and you’d go through more customers?? oH my god jin??? you know what, i’m gonna call jimin right now. let me get you some things!!!”

well then,,,

actually,,,

jin mAY have a pneumatic gun lying around but they don’t use it because a) it’s not as fast and as efficient as what yOU use in the track b) what for honestly,,, c) this is not formula racing and most people aren’t in a rush

but you know what

this is going good for you!!!

jin’s learning new things from u and the other way around and you’re not wallowing in sadness tHAT much anymore :D

and you do feel that kim kradle is doing so much good on you!! you’re constantly with jin but sometimes you spice it up an transfer from floor to floor :))

pressure-washing with namjoon is very therapeutic and having excessive knowledge now about how to properly give your car the shiniest wax ever in your lifetime??

it’s excessive knowledge you wouldn’t trade for the world

you even go work with taehyung sometimes!!! you help him plan out color schemes and pick out fabric with him and go measure dimensions and eVEN do 3D mock-ups

watching and aLSO being able to mix custom coats to go on cars is very satisfying ok

tae even gives you the password to the instagram account :))

he gets you to do the close-ups sometimes and eVEN tells you a thing or two on how he edits these clips to be as satsfying and pleasing as possible

today’s just a slow day

only three cars have come to the shop and to your floor in the past hour nothing from the three of them needed that much TLC

two of them just needed to get their tires’ air pressure checked and have them pumped to match

the other one was just towed here because it’s the nearest shop and just has a dead battery :((

you don’t know how you and jin could pass the time because there isn’t any tv in the area since sOMEONE (jin himself) got distracted too much by watching sherlock and he jUST wanted to know how sherlock pulled off operation lazarus!!!!

it clearly wasn’t his intention to keep pumping up the jack and almost have the whOLE car tip over because he had it up all the way

that was an accident :))

he didn’t even notice that so many of his boys were dashing for the side of the car to keep it from falling and when one of them called out his name, jin had the aUDACITY to shush him because there goes the climax!!!

wOOpS aha oh no what happened to the car :D

the next big thing that jin could do? ask you and catch up about all the technical stuff in formula racing so he could learn too ya know

“what happens if a wing gets dented or like dEFORMED?? how would that be fixed that quickly??”

“ooh!! good question!! actually-...”

that sound

you miss that sound :((

someone’s driving in your floor by the sounds of it and you don’t even need to turn your head to know that it must be a rEALLY cool car :((

it reminds you of the sounds you hear on the track and it’s one that you dearly miss

the growl of whatever car this is loud but like nOT obnoxious of pricks that just wanna show off in traffic and rev up their engine, y’know??

jin could only be so happy because fINALLY

another customer and another task to do to pass this day and it’s nOT a prius!!!!!!!

fucking finally

jin stands up immediately and you immediately follow him and this car’s getting attention from the other workers at the floor because whew

they all know to back off and go back to working on previous and existing projects because aH they see jin smiling giddily and almost jogging and you’re in tow from excitement

it’s a nice car!!!

a maserati granturismo in sleek black!!! jin’s only saw one of these come in the shop driveway but only for them to pULL out and it’s just because they needed to maneuver to go back to a u-turn

what a prick ://

he was excited that day and for wHAT??? someone to use their driveway just so they could reverse their car???? that’s just rude

the owner in mystery comes out and is aLREADY TALKING and- wait

isn’t that yoongi?

yOONGI?????

“hey man, could you check on my radiator real quick? the airconditioning’s a bit wack and i’m not entirely sure if it’s the radiator but i don’t wanna tweak it, ‘cause maybe it’s the compressor too. not sure. can you-“

that’s

oh my god that’s yOU

the season’s wrapped up like a week ago and the last races were tough so tough than he could’ve ever imagined and it was even harder without you

yoongi won the season

but he lost you though :((

he was so enraged at himself the moment jimin told him about the verdict you took and how you quit before he could fire you — for good yoongi has no one to blame but himself and god he’s just so mad at himself

even up to now actually

his pride was so enormous that he didn’t even tHINK that he might be the problem as to why he placed 7th in that race

and instead, he just needed someone, anyone, for him to blame and you’re the fIRST person he sees and he immediately takes his anger and frustration out on you

you would never do such things and he’s disgusted at himself for even tHINKING that you’d ever betray him like that

he was regretting every bit of his words and actions that he said and did out of blind spite

if he could punch himself he would GLADLY do that and knock himself out yoongi was both panicked and livid

had a hard time breathing too because oh gOd he just can’t stop thinking about you and the things he’s caused that are too late to bring back and reverse :((

he kept pleading to atleast follow you home even for just some hours and he’ll immediately go back to the hotel as if he never left

but he can’t do that and he hATES it

god this wouldn’t have happened if he wasn’t a big fucking aSSHOLE!!! throughout the whole week ever since you left the team, he was a gigantic mess

like he still is now

but he had dark circles under his eyes that were swollen from crying so much

his lips were set in a frown as a default

yoongi was doing well with the streak of not biting and picking at his fingernails and his cuticles but now tHAT’S broken alright

he’s tried reaching out to jungkook multiple times

he’s tried apologizing but he always gets a deadpanned response of how he isn’t the one he needs to apologize to

kook sees the sincerity of yoongi trying to apologize because he’s hurt you, his best friend, but that’s not the important issue here

you called jungkook unknowingly in the middle of his and yoongi’s conversation and the boy just almost jUMPS at jungkook to try and borrow his phone with his pleads and as much as his heart goes out (he still hATES yoongi ok), jungkook’s not gonna let him

he tries getting jimin to let him borrow his phone and call you and jimin won’t let him either because this is not his place and you’ve been through enough

the closest yoongi’s ever got to you??

jimin still feels so sorry and guilty to this day

and he’s conflicted and confused and a lil sad

but jimin did call you in front of yoongi on speaker :(((

and yoongi got to hear you answer with a chipped-out voice :(((

and he’s just so tempted to speak out loud but if he does that, then jimin will forever be mad at him too probably and he’s also promised that he’s gonna pretend he isn’t there

ask her if she already ate dinner

yoongi won’t stop typing in his notes tho and wave it frantically for jimin to ask you

and you’re responding truthfully because what’s jimin gonna do?? fLY to your home and cook you spaghetti?????

of course not

that’s what yoongi wants to do :(( if only he can :((

his win felt so empty and it just feels so dull without you here

also knowing that he’s drived out one of the only people that puts up with him and is always patient and is the reason to why he’s been so inspired lately

and one of these days

just one of these days, yoongi wants to drive to your apartment and camp out the door if he needs to just so he could redeem himself and earn forgiveness and try to mend what he’s broken

not today though

not today when the moment yoongi finally gathered the words and the courage to go to you, with the blessing of jungkook giving him his address but with a very sTRICT warning that scared the shit out of him.,.,.,

but also with his airconditioning broken and something just tells him that he needs to take it to a shop because it’s been awhile ever since he drove normal cars

and yoongi actually forgot the gravity of all this so he’s a bit nervous because maybe this is a more serious case with his car and it’s just the universe’s way of telling him to go to you tomorrow

or as soon as his car gets taken to the shop

maybe he needs to polish up some lines and try practicing them better from the heart

yoongi could go to jimin and have it fix it for him but like that’s tOO far of a drive and he just needs a quick fix

ooh

kim kradle!!! it’s the nearest shop to his place that has five stars on it

and he’s still a bit wary because his face and his name and win did land on the news and he’s been trending lately and like wHAT IF someone takes advantage of his car or scams him because they know who he is this car is his frequent and it holds a sentimental value to his heart ok

kim kradle is bigger than he’s pictured it in his mind

woah it actually looks cool and promising

christ it’s so hot inside his car god he needed to open up a little bit of his window but mosquitoes would creep in and tHEY’RE annoying and a real hazard to kill while you’re driving down the road

he wants to get this over with quickly

yoongi just needs to drive to your place and see you asap

“hey man, could you check on my radiator real quick? the airconditioning’s a bit wack and i’m not entirely sure if it’s the radiator but i don’t wanna tweak it, ‘cause maybe it’s the compressor too. not sure. can you-“

oh

that’s you

wAIT THAT IS YOU

“y/n?”

his hands are literally shaking right now oh my god

it’s been some twenty-seven days ever since he’s last saw you and here you aRE

here you are in a place he’s least expected to see you because he’s on the way to see you but actually yOU’RE HERE

“yoongi.”

you acknowledge him back and god you don’t know what to feel

jin immediately senses what’s happening and deep-down he is pANICKING alright

he’s been in contact with jungkook and in the back of their minds, they knew that yoongi won’t let this go without his ever-present persistence

and eventually like maybe yoongi’s gonna know that you work here and the last time that he checked, yoongi doesn’t even know kim kradle

bUT JIN DIDN’T KNOW THAT THIS TIME WOULD COME THIS SOON OK

he immediately steps in and insert himself in between you and yoongi that he’s trying to close the distance to you and that surprises yoongi completely

“airconditioning, right? keys please. i’ll check it out!!”

yoongi wastes no time in shoving the keys to jin’s hand and he couldn’t be anymore desperate to talk to you

he doesn’t wanna cross boundaries obviously even if jin’s already moved out of the way

you’re still glued to your spot trying to process the situation and your fight or flight response is not exactly working right now

is there a disbelief and yearning and standing in sadness and anger option in that fight or flight choice

“i haven’t seen you in so long.”

that’s what usually happens when you become an asshole yOONGI

god how are you supposed to react

“you too.”

there’s this awkward distance in between the two of you and it’s too deep to even get between 

yoongi suddenly forgets the words that’s been in his mind for the longest time,, just brewing and evolving and always changing as he just wants to fix the damage he’s done :((

he’s about to get closer but

“the cooling fan’s just clogged. it could be finished within like fifteen minutes man :D”

jin doesn’t exactly know what he’s doing but he ‘s dOING whatever this is ok

although that is factual

the cooling fan is just a bit dirty and there’s some debris in there that could be cleared quickly

but he just needs to do it extra carefully because this is a nice car ok

i mean he sTILL cares for cars in the same way even if not every car he gets in the shop is a maserati granturismo 

he’s just a lil bit nervous even thOUGH he’s an expert at this ok

“fIFTEEN MINUTES???”

yoongi’s freaking out and he’s gripping at his hair in panic because wHAT

THAT SHOULD TAKE AN HOUR

goddamn why does kim kradle have to be a five-star shop :((

“y-yeah.,, i can do it in ten if you’re in a hurry-”

“aha nO NO :D i’m not in a hurry at all!!! please, take your time!!”

oh god what does he do now

yoongi walks over to his car and that confuses both you and jin

because what

he has half of his body in the driver’s seat and it sEEMS that he’s fishing for something in his glovebox

it’s a lil swiss knife

bUT WHY

he kept it in the gloveboxes of his cars because seatbelts are not exactly fool-proof and you could be stuck in them and he’s scared of that

and also if he’s gotten a takeout of a burger and it’s too big and he’s driving with one hand so he’ll just whip out his lil swiss knife and cut haphazardly

“what’s your name, man??”

“jin!! kim seokjin :D you’re-”

wait

what the fuck is yoongi doing

oh 

did he just-

“also forgot to tell you!!! my tires are running flat and i tHINK they need to be changed!! so sorry man it just came up”

deadass

yoongi literally just slashed his four tires

jin’s sPUTTERING

and he’s looking back and forth to you and to yoongi and his car

“are you -- are you sEEING -- y/n tell me wait what the fuck iS YOONGI SLASHING HIS TIRES????”

whatever it takes

whatever to buy his time with you and so as much as he can

you’re quite taken aback because oh did yoongi just do that

jin has only known yoongi personally for like eight minutes and he could positively say that he is on aNOTHER level

yoongi’s approaching you again and it only hits you nOW

“have you eaten lunch already?”

your mouth is dry and you absolutely can’t look at yoongi because it just feels so unreal 

“no. hEy uh-...”

“no?? oh my gOD hold on just stay still, yeah? i’m gonna get lunch hOld on-”

yoongi’s immediately scarmbling for the exit

he has no concrete plan but he sure is hellbent in getting you lunch even though his car’s tires are slashed and he’s gonna be walking in an area he’s unfamiliar with

you really haven’t eaten lunch 

you were just about to say a half-assed reason of namjoon calling you just to exit this situation because you are nOT ready and yoongi’s already off before you could mutter it

jin’s gears are just on a frenzy

“oh so that’s min yoongi.,.,,. jusT slashed his own tires,.,,. that’s.... endearing.,.,,”

you’ve detached yourself from the situation and you couldn’t really stand seeing nor interacting with yoongi

you’ve cooped up yourself in jin’s office and the moment yoongi came back holding up take-out for boTH you and jin, his car’s already all-done

jin gives him a look that’s telling and yoongi gets it

“oh. that’s okay. just uh, just leave this for y/n, can you? there’s enough for the two of you. thanks, jin :))”

you need a moment

that one’s obvious

taehyung insisted that you come home early and you obliged because oh god you nEED a moment

you come into work the next day and sure enough, you’re all well-rested and this time they could ask about what happened yesterday

even hear jin’s point of view on how yoongi is just so wILD

taehyung is in alert and so in namjoon

they’re all ears ok

jin’s telling his story and tae’s nudging you discreetly and makes you look at a box!!!

a box he’s ordered online a couple days ago after he saw you breakdown and you’re looking in awe as you whisper because u don’t wanna disrupt jin

“gel nails???”

the same one you always wanted and it’s flashing back to when you saw yoongi talking to dahyun!!!

oh this is really happening???

“dO IT YOURSELF!!!”

taehyung’s grabbing your hand immediately as he opens the box and he’s sO pumped for this because he stayed up all night watching how to do gel nails yourself!!

he even bought a nice uv lamp for it!! he’s tHAT dedicated

this takes your mind off of yoongi for awhile

a car pulls up yet again and you’re getting the chills again bUt it just turned out to be jungkook

aND HOBI!!!

hobi finished second this season!!

they immediately flock to the lot of you and you’re not sure on who flocks who because everyone’s just genuinely happy to see each other

even the kim line meeting hobi for the first time is such a fun experience

jungkook immediately goes to you and he sEES taehyung doing something to your hand

he’s not sure what he’s doing

but he knows that he wants IN okay

he wants to these gel nails on your other hand

he doesn’t know shit on how to do them but he’s gonna learn along the way aND he is not backing down 

taehyung wasn’t aware that this is a competition now but apparently iT IS NOW :O

it’s not ensured that your two hands will look the exact same because you think they’re going for the what looks better competition and not let’S DO THIS IDENTICALLY because these are y/n’s hands y’know 

you’re about to fall asleep with how this is lowkey soothing

this is not the quickest manicure to do on anybody

especially if it’s someone’s first time and they’re really aIMING for it to be perfect

although it’s not easy because another car pulls up and you’re pANICKED that it might be yoongi 

oh nah it’s okay that’s not his car anyway!!!

you sometimes forget.... that yoongi’s a race car driver....

and there’s a possibility.... that he has multiple cars....

that’s yoongi alright

he steps down in a hurry and makes a beeline for you because he could immediately spot you!!! even in crowds!!!

you’re somehow ensured that yoongi’s gonna decide against going to you because you’re not alone

taehyung’s on your left and jungkook’s on your right and they’re not leaving your side until they finish their masterpieces for like another half hour

oH HE’S GOING FOR IT

“y/n, hI!!”

coming in strong but that’s ok

“jungkook :]”

he acknowledges kook and you’re not exactly up-to-date with how these two stand with each other 

but kook kinda just gives him a confused glance (jIN CALLED HIM LAST NIGHT) and nods back to yoongi

what

taehyung has his lips parted because what,,, why.,., 

yoongi’s about to open his mouth to talk to this guy that’s holding your hAND???

oh this is the part right

“i’m,,, kim taehyung.,.,.,”

“min yoongi. nice to meet you :))”

he sticks out his hand and tae blindly reaches for it and he doesn’t know wHY he shook it and he’s still confused up to to now

what is yoongi doing

wHAT IS HE DOING

you only realize now that yoongi has something in his hands and he’s looking dead straight to you and he doesn’t falter once

(he’s nervous on the inside trUST HIM)

“i know you’re not that comfy in seeing me and that’s tOTALLY okay!! i respect that!! it’s just uH i realized that uhm,.,., do you remember that time we were karting? and you won and we ki -- when you wON?? and you said that the winner gets one week of presents,,.,, and i just want to fulfill that.”

yoongi’s voice is wavering because oh shit this iS hard to swallow down

“even if i might be a little late.”

he wordlessly sets down a wrapped present by your feet, just in the middle of a sitting jungkook and taehyung who are listening all this time and have curious eyes on the neatly-wrapped present that’s been laid down

he leaves and stalks over to jin

“what happened now yoongi.,.,.,”

“my guess is that there are some rocks stuck in the wheel bearings. maybe even in the mags. four on the left, three on the right.”

....

hmmmm

“that’s nice, man. just a hunch??”

“yup :)) just a hunch :)) aLSO: can i have a stool?? i’m just gonna wait here, y’know :))”

yoongi’s not expecting anything from you

he doesn’t mind rejection or you ignoring him all throughout because he knows that he deserves it

he deserves it for sure

sometimes he sees you in the corner of his eye

or you helping out jin on fixing yoongi’s other car

or the other one

your own pace

your pace is what matters and yoongi isn’t gonna take any shortcut or undercut

this isn’t formula racing

this is yOU and him being patient until you feel like acknowledging him

of course he still apologizes

texts you even if you’re across the room

sees you open the text and you’d send him a look and you’d be giving him the slightest smile before you occupy yourself again

yoongi’s okay with that.

he keeps coming back

this is the third car and it’s nOT EVEN HIS ANYMORE

he’s just texting friends asking “yO do u need you car washed or fixed or something??? i’ll take it to the shop for you fREE OF CHARGE!!!”

he’s that invested in this and he doesn’t see himself giving up this is good for kim kradle of course but oh god this is aMUSING TOO throughout the week, yoongi hasn’t faltered either in continuing at giving you the gifts

the first one he’s given you?? a box full of trinkets he’s been collecting for every country that he’s visited ever since you gave him that caffeine pill!!

just random things he’s seen in malls or souvenir shops or airport boutiques that reminded him of you, all in a box with a single note

i miss you. - yoongi

you’re not gonna lie

you do miss yoongi too

but the things he’s done still make you wince when you’re thinking about it and even though he’s apologized in all ways but a face-to-face one

because you’re not that lax with him, the both of you know that this isn’t just a one and done thing

things take time and yoongi’s taking it at your pace and you’re grateful for it

warming up is always relative and so is forgiveness longing’s still there but it’s just a matter of suppressing it and yeah you dO miss yoongi

you’re lost without him too although you’re not gonna make that anymore obvious because that’s just devastating to think about you think he’s about to reach the end of his rope and it throws you in the whirlwind of oH

this is the sixth consecutive day that yoongi’s been coming to kim kradle yesterday was the first bIG interaction you’ve ever done with him

because since you don’t talk to him as much, he just takes his time as he waits for the services for the cars that he brings by making conversation with the guys

he’s gotten to know jin and joon and tae aND YEAH they like him but they do grill him separately though because they’re mad at what he’s done to you

but he’s also apologized to them and made promises that he’s gonna be keeping

jin doesn’t cook by the kitchen anymore because yoongi keeps bringing takeout or sometimes hE’S THE ONE WHO COOKS in his home and brings it to u guys

is it bad that he all bought you lunchboxes

is it bad that your lunchbox is the fanciest out of all of them and you have more portions and yours are always cut up like he did with the pork.,.,..

it’s not bad as lonG as you pretend to unsee the three kims stealing food from you and just go about to eating your food

but the big interaction did happen yesterday

and it was you suddenly calling out yoongi’s name as he’s sat by the car but he sTILL heard you and he swears he’s gonna cry

because oh god it’s been a long time ever since you said his name in that tone

“you’re not gonna eat with us?”

OH DAMN

he’s a mess

“uhm weLL do you want me too?? it’s oKAY uhm pls just-“

“don’t make me regret asking, yoongs.”

yOONGS

Y O O N G S

yoongi is instantly walking his ass to the little makeshift dining circle because oh my god YES

he doesn’t overstep tho and he just sits in between namjoon and

taehyung as he eats and every few minutes he sneaks a look at you and sometimes you look at him aND IT’S JUST LIKE the start all over again there’s the last piece of tteokbokki and everyone’s just feeling it out and looking at it

and yoongi

the bold man that he is

picks it up with his chopsticks aND

oh he’s putting it on your lunchbox

:))))))))

the night’s late and taehyung called yoongi to say that the car (it’s actually yoongi’s) he’s brought in for a ceramic coating and custom leather seats are all finished and wrapped up

and if he wants, he could go to the shop right now and pick it up since namjoon’s finishing up by the basement anyways and it would still be open then

and he does pick it up

he knows his way around the store

you could either take the stairs or the lift if you’re coming in into kim kradle without a car to go up and down the levels but he’s patient so he’ll just take the stairs

what he wasn’t expecting though

something that makes him cease his whistling as he goes up to the third floor to fetch his car

is you

rIGHT there

besides his car

and this is the only time that the both of you are alone and his throat is suddenly dry

you know this too though

you were intending to staying up late here just to finish on the car that’s been brought in two days ago with the broken engine that you think is worth salvaging

and you just wanted to see the view :((

reminisce to how you’ve been seeing yoongi in the flesh for six days straight and how you wanna tackle this conflict right to the head but you’re unsure to how :((

it doesn’t take a genius to know that yOONGI himself is right behind you

as you are aware too that this is his car that taehyung’s been working on thank u very much

“i want you to know that i’m not giving up on you.”

his words cut through the cold air and it surely gets your attention even if your back is still turned to him as you’re hunched over the balcony

“i’m running out of cars to bring, the one week of presents is ending, and

i’m so cLOSE to putting up a cot so i could sleep here.”

he’s serious about that one

seeing you just makes everything better no matter the circumstance it calms his heart and everything in him and he’s not gonna stop at nO matter what to try and make up for the things he’s done

“but you’re worth all this.”

yoongi dares to take a step closer and this time you could already see him by your peripheral vision

“you’re worth it,” and he needs a collective second to exhale the heaviness that’s sitting on his chest because oh gOd he was really an asshole huh

“i don’t know how long it’s gonna take, but i’m willing to wait.”

this is more nerve-wracking than any report card or championship results he’s been ever given and he’s not ashamed to admit that

“i love you, y’know?”

that’s the thing he’s been wanting to say for a long time he doesn’t know in the first place on wHY the hell was he scared because now that he says it to you, he feels like he’s never been more sure of anything in his life :(((

“good night, y/n.”

and the main purpose to why he’s here completely escapes his mind

he just misses you sO much that it’s so painful and all he could do is imagine scenarios and look back at all the pictures he’s taken of you half of it he’s sure that you never even noticed him taking

aND IT HITS YOU

something that hits you with the way that his car keys have the sticker of your initials on them

or the way when taehyung asked you out to help him with the leather interior for yoongi’s car and your scrunchie that you must’ve left is wrapped snugly on his handbrake

or how in the final checking for his car did you know that your playlist that you don’t even rEMEMBER mentioning to him is the one that’s on repeat in his radio

yoongi stops the moment that you call out for his name and god he’s closing his eyes because all the worst possible scenarios of you calling for him to stop this is enough to make him cry

you’ve also never been more sure of anything in your life

your hand just barely grips yoongi’s arm, staring up at him as you get to notice the features of his that you’ve always loved and missed all this time

yoongi’s hand’s open and so is your heart for all this

it’s the same keys that he’s went here for the first place, the ones with your intials on as he only realizes now that he’s done that

“drive me home.”

[yandere-daydreams]

A Yandere!Takuto Maruki/Reader commission for the very lovely, very patient @furudolove for Persona 5 Royal. I’ve never played a Persona game and I don’t plan to, but I can hope I got the majority of Maruki’s character, in this. He’d so idyllic, and so delusional... He’d make a wonderful Yandere, if I knew a little more about the series. 

Word Count: 3.0k

TW: Imprisonment, Emotional Manipulation, Gaslighting, and Isolation. 

You could feel every detail of the cot underneath you.

It would’ve been impossible not to. Prominent, pointed springs poked through the thin mattress and prodded at your back, biting into your arms, your legs, any patch of open skin they could find and force themselves into without objection. You took it in, for a moment, your body too sore and your mind too drained to do anything but lay back and let the chilled air wash over you, too cold to be natural, too sterile. When you opened your eyes, you did so reluctantly, but there was nothing to ease your anxiety. Above you was a plain, tiled ceiling, glowing with an artificial light you couldn’t quite name the source of, not unlike the lamp you might place above the cage of a reptile, and the rest of the room seemed to fall into place as your eyes found it, a desk and a pair of chairs coming into existence as you struggled to comprehend the world you’d fallen into. They were white and unmarked, your bed bolted to a floor speckled with grey dots. Like the presidential suite of a freshly renovated asylum.

You weren’t certain where you were, but you were sure you’d never been here before.

And you knew you didn’t want to be any longer than you had to.

Slowly, you pushed yourself up, your back aching under the strain, protesting any slight shift, as if you’d fallen too far and landed too suddenly. A similar pain was quick to make itself known in the back of your head, and thoughtlessly, you brought up a hand to try and soothe the knots of pressure tying themselves in the back of your skull. You hissed as your fingertips made contact with the worst spot, the area tender, bruised, but you didn’t have much time to investigate.

As soon as you’d begun to examine the area in earnest, there was a hand around your wrist, pulling your arm away gently and hesitating to release it when you failed to resist. Your attention turned to the man now standing above you, and suddenly, you were startlingly aware of just how muddled your mind had become, how difficult it was to formulate any thought beyond general observations about your current predicament. His features, although vaguely familiar, were blurry, unfocused, and you couldn’t bring yourself to try to put a name to his face. You didn’t have to, though, not when his voice was more than enough to identify him.

“You shouldn’t push yourself,” Your counselor, Takuto Maruki, explained. “I’d hate to see you hurt yourself this early on.”

You opened your mouth, but he was quick to hush you, letting your hand fall into your lap and repositioning himself, smiling as he lowered himself to your height. It was all you could do to stare in his direction, a million questions playing on your tongue, the least indescribable of which had to do with his attire, suddenly too formal, and the grin he was barely trying to conceal, wide and welcoming, only broadening at the slightest hints of your acknowledgment. “I know this seems strange,” He began, his speech rehearsed, as if he’d been preparing it while you were unconscious. “But there’s no reason to be afraid, anymore. You’re in a better place, now, a better reality, one where you can be what you’ve been trying so hard to be, with my help.”

“I don’t understand,” You whispered, drawing your knees to your chest, your voice smaller than you’d like it to be. The creak of the ancient bedframe threatened to drown it out. “I can’t… You want me to change?”

“I want you to be what you’ve always wanted to be.” This time, when he took your hand, he held it close to his chest, a wide, self-satisfied smile spreading across Maruki’s lips. As if he couldn’t be more proud, and expected you to be just as exultant. “You’re in so much pain as you are, (Y/n). I want to take that away. I’ll satisfy your desires, make you the person you want to be. Assertive, brave, confident.” He paused, squeezing your hand a little too tightly for the gesture to go unnoticed. “We’ll rule this place together. You’ll have everything you’ve ever wanted, and I’ll have you by my side. We’ll be happy.”

You blinked, once, twice, your gaze flickering from your knees, to the ground, to Maruki’s face, still alight with anticipation as he waited for your answer. You could only think to say the obvious.

“I’m sorry, but… I’d rather not.”

~

Maruki visited twice a day.

Or, it felt like twice a day, at least. It was difficult to tell, when the sky outside your windows was always dark and the lights were always on, remaining bright and untouched regardless of how many times you threw your few, meager possessions towards the unfaltering ceiling. You were given books to occupy yourself with, games and consoles to play them on, but the hours were long and he seemed to be the only company you were allowed. You were tempted to complain, but it was difficult to find your voice, when he was around. When anyone was around, really, but you tried not to think about that. Not when there were so many other things to keep your concern yourself with.

For example, the location of your prison, relative to the world you should be a part of. And, preferably, how you got back to the latter of the two.

When you asked, you didn’t dare think. You swallowed your nerves and spit out the words, keeping your eyes narrowed on the pad of lined paper in front of you. Maruki had handed it over the moment you expressed an interest in the object, but you had yet to decipher its contents. To you, it just seemed like a list of names, only a handful of which you recognized. “Where am I?”

“It’s complicated,” He answered, automatically. As if he’d expected you to ask this question sooner. “It’s… It’s my perfect reality. One where everyone can be exactly what they want to be, and have everything they long for. There’s more of it than-” He motioned vaguely around the room, clearly unimpressed with its contents. You couldn’t say you blamed him. “-this, but I didn’t want to smother you. I know how overwhelmed you can get, sometimes.”

“I’m working on that,” You mumbled, immediately longing to take it back. If anyone knew what you were working on, it was Maruki, the man who you considered to be one of your closest confidants less than a week ago. He was a kind man, and you’d trusted him… You still trusted him, honestly. It was impossible to stop, once you’d already allowed yourself to open up. “And there’s no way out of… ‘your reality’, is there? Without your help, I mean.”

Maruki took offense to that. He’d been seated at your desk, for the duration of this visit, maintaining a professional distance, but he stood when you brought up the topic of leaving. You heard a sigh as soft, measured footsteps made their way to your side. He hadn’t tried to close the distance between you two since you first woke up. Rather, he slid onto the end of your bed, his back coming to rest against the barred footboard, his legs left to intermingle with yours in the space between. It felt intimate, and as if by instinct, you were against it. “I don’t want you to feel like your a prisoner--”

“I am a prisoner,” You interrupted. “I can’t leave, so I’m a prisoner.”

“You’re a guest.” He sounded disappointed, but firm, his eyes flickering over your face and attempting to meet yours. You looked away, once again attempting to focus on his many, nonsensical lists. “I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted to make you happy. I can make people different, here, and I can make you different.” He finished with a bright, broad smile, only realizing his mistake a moment after your hurt became palpable. “Wait, that’s not what I - You won’t be different. You’ll be what you’re meant to be.” He leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees, beaming forward like there was nowhere in the world he’d rather be. “Nothing about you will change. If anything, you’ll be more you than you are now. Everyone here is. I can show you around, if you let me help you.”

“If I let you control me.” He opened his mouth, ready to provide another repetitive rebuttal, but you didn’t let him, biting the inside of your cheek as you fought to continue. “That’s what it is, right? You know I won’t fight, not once you’ve got me trapped in your little, perfect daydream. The only thing I can’t think of is why you don’t just-” You waved a hand in some vague, arbitrary gesture, attempting to vent your frustration physically. The effects were minimal, at best. “-do it, already. If this was really your reality, you wouldn’t keep asking for my consent.”

“It has to be your choice.” The declaration wasn’t triumphant, or altruistic, or anything less than pained. As if it hurt him to admit it. “I know you need to make progress. You want this to be your accomplishment, and I’m not going to take that away from you. I want you to be proud, (Y/n), I do, but I can help. This can be our achievement. I can make it so--”

“So I forget I hate myself?” Before you knew it, you were on your feet, your fists clenched at your sides and your vision red. You were angry. There wasn’t a point in denying it, why would you? He was the only person you’d spoken too in weeks, and it wasn’t like there was much to discuss. You had no one to protect your reputation from, and you refused to strive to prove yourself to Maruki. He didn’t deserve that. Regardless of how badly he wanted to try to act like he did, he didn’t. You were sure of that.

You had to be sure of that.

“I don’t want to be some brainwashed doll you can tow around as a shining example of how wonderful your fucked-up therapy is. I’m not who you want me to be, I’m not who I want me to be, I’m me. I have to be the one to deal with that, even if I have to do it on my own. There’s no quick-fix, or magic solution, or ‘cognitive wrap’, whatever you’ve been calling it. That’s not what I need.” You gasped, if only to stop yourself from losing your temper. You’d started to pace without realizing it, and when you came to a stop, you were facing one of the dull, white walls. It was fitting, you guessed. You didn’t want to see his response, not right away. “Remember the first time we met? When I went to you for advice?

His reply was delayed. It came with a soft exhale, ragged, but tamer than yours. Nostalgic, even. “You shook like a leaf. How could I forget?”

“I was terrified,” You admitted, letting a fraction of the tension in your body dissolve. “I was in a bad place, and it took me days to scrape up the courage to tell someone about it. If you’d made your offer then…” You let out a sad, breathy laugh, the sound as humorless as it was dry. “You said I had to believe I could make progress before I relied on anyone else. That’s what I’m doing. You can’t guilt me for following your advice.”

There was a beat of silence, a moment where you genuinely could’ve thought he’d begun to understand. Then, Maruki opened his mouth, and you were snapped out of that fantasy as abruptly as you’d been thrown into it. “I loved you back then, too. As much as I do now. If I could’ve done anything to end your suffering, I would’ve.”

You didn’t hesitate, your voice just loud enough for him to hear. “I think you should leave.”

“(Y/n), I--”

“Please, Takuto,” You interrupted, your nails beginning to dig into your palms. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

There was a huff. A sigh. But, you didn’t look over your shoulder until the metal-plated door had swung shut, a lock clicking into place from the other side, leaving you more alone than you had been before he made his daily visit.

For whatever reason, you had a feeling you wouldn’t be getting a second, that day.

~

Isolation was a tenuous thing.

You couldn’t keep track of time. Not here, not in this room, not when the sky never changed color and you never really felt hungry or thirsty or much of anything at all, if it didn’t have to do with Maruki and his ‘perfect world’. But, after your first real argument, Maruki had stayed away long enough to make his absence known, rather than just a particularly long lapse between tense encounters. It might’ve been a day, a week, a month, but you didn’t care about the specifics.

It was long enough to make you miss him. You supposed that was all that mattered.

There was a unique intimacy in the hand he rested on the center of your back, the steady fingers of a practiced professional rubbing slow, deliberate circles into the space just below your shoulder-blade. He hadn’t gotten this close before. He could’ve, you wouldn’t have had the courage to stop him, but after so much time spent alone with your own thoughts, this was the first time you truly embraced his presence by your side, his knee almost touching yours. Anything to make it feel like you weren’t trapped inside your own head.

He allowed you to sit in silence for a moment or two, your face buried in your palms and your legs crossed, keeping you perched on the edge of the bed, allowing you to wallow in your own self-pity and a fraction of his, too. Maruki didn’t seem to mind. He smiled, the expression nothing short of nurturing, pushing you a little close to the cliffside between you and the flawless, guilt-ridden submission he so very much to shove you towards. The way he spoke wasn’t any better, just as kind. As sickeningly tender as the rest of his facade. “I pushed you too far,” He admitted, a half-hearted laugh lacing the edges of his confession. “Too much ground to cover, never enough time. I should’ve let you think.”

You sighed, the sound desolate, miserable. A poor imitation of something that should’ve brought relief. “It’s not… It’s not just that. I’d never really adjust to…” You trailed off, swinging your legs over the cot’s side, kicking idly at the well-scoffed tiles. “...Whatever this is. Maybe you should work on that. Make a Visitor’s Center for your next abductee.”

“I’ll make you the host,” He added, prodding your side with an elbow. “My offer still stands, if you’ve changed your mind.”

You leaned against him. You leaned against him, and you rested your head on his shoulder and you let out another labored, languid sigh, somehow more sorrowful than your last. “I think you know what I’m going to say, Takuto.”

His collected grin pressed against the top of your head as he pushed a kiss into your scalp, a gentle hand coming up to draw you into a one-sided hug. You allowed it, indulged it, even, smiling up at him as he pulled away. Maruki took his time standing, stretching idly and holding out a single hand, letting something long and golden appear in his palm, a staff that tapered off into a sharpened point on one end, and sprouted into a shining, petaled star on the other. You were shocked for a moment, both by the gaudiness of the object and how wrong it seemed in Maruki’s hand, but you didn’t have much time to linger on the new addition. Not when he was so quick to draw your attention away.

“I think I’m too nice to you,” He started, still facing the furthest wall. “That’s the common factor. I get ahead of myself, and then I try to make it up to you with time and understanding and all the things I assume you’ll want. That just makes you hostile, though. I’ll try something different, next time. Something less… personal. On my end, at least.”

There were a dozen things you could’ve said. Accusations, questions, everything in between and a handful of options you hadn’t thought of, yet. But, as soon as you opened your mouth, your eyes were closing, your body collapsing and a supreme sense of exhaustion washing over you, traveling hand in hand with dizziness and every other sensation that could’ve urged you to sleep. Every other tortuous thing Maruki could’ve forced onto your mind to bend you to his whim.

You felt yourself fall to the floor just as your vision went black.

~

You woke up on a cot that squeaked when you moved.

It was an awful noise, rusted out and worn down, and it only got worse as you forced your body to move, pushing yourself into a more respectable position with arms that didn’t want to cooperate. They ached, argued, screamed, and you had a feeling they would creak too, if they could. The room around you was blurry, blurry and smudged and alien, and you realized rather numbly that you didn’t know where you were.

You realized you didn’t know where you were, and alarmingly, you realized you didn’t care.

You didn’t have to. There was already a familiar face at your side, one hand clamped around your bicep and the other resting on your shoulder, holding you up when you failed to do so yourself. It was your counselor, Takuto Maruki, smiling as brightly as ever.

“I have an offer for you,” He said, once you’d regained your balance. “One I have a feeling you’ll like.”

Without thinking, you found yourself nodding along.

[fijiangecko]

Maintaining a New Life

Chapter 5 - The Point of No Return

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Read it on AO3 here

A/N: updating every two weeks-ish depending on school

~~~~~~

The car ride is silent the rest of the way back, tension thick and unsettling as the wind blows through the shattered back windshield. Iwaizumi takes the back roads to avoid police and mafia members, and it finally sets in that things aren’t going to be the same for you again. Everything you’ve built up over the past four and a half years is slipping through your fingers like wet sand. 

And you’re the one adding water to the mix.

All of the friends you’ve made; Bokuto, Akaashi, Kenma, Sawamura, Sugawara, Asahi, Noya, Tanaka and not to mention all of the little interns and secretaries you’ve learned to love. Takeda and Ukai, the two who helped you out of a dark place, unbeknownst to them, but desperate enough to give you a chance. 

Then there’s Kuroo, who’s sitting in the backseat right now. You don’t dare to look behind you to take a glance. You can’t imagine how he must feel. Betrayed. You both had grown to rely on one another and now he’s learning that you aren’t who you say you are. Just a liar disguised as someone who wants to help. While thinking, you absentmindedly push your cuticles back and stare straight ahead at the road. You trust that Oikawa and Iwa are looking out enough for you to clock out and realize the mess you’ve made, not only for yourself but for them as well.

Tendou didn’t seem to care about them, though. And he didn’t call them out by name so they can still get out of this. You stop messing with your hands and purse your lips. But that doesn’t explain how the three of us all worked together back there. Kuroo’s not dumb. He’ll figure it out.

You start to pick at your skin once more.

Numbness feels like pin pricks across your body as you sit and stare into the blank night. Time flies out of the window and what feels like seconds later the soft rumbling of the engine comes to a halt. You blink and take in the building in front of you.

A confused expression covers your face as you turn to Iwaizumi, silently asking why you’re here, why you’re home. He doesn’t answer, instead getting up and out of the seat. Oikawa follows him, each putting on their coats as a shield from the night air. Kuroo and yourself remain in the vehicle, wondering what the next step is.

With a heavy heart, you step out of the car and brace yourself for the cold blast. Hajime passes you the keys, fingers lingering on yours in a silent plea. You shake it off and proceed to the front door, listening for any sign that a certain someone was following behind. Light footsteps make your heart beat faster, keys slightly shaking as you force them into the lock.

“I think we’re gonna head back…” Hajime’s voice is soft as he leans in next to your ear, hot breath making shivers run down your spine. You turn to look at him, and nod.

“Are you gonna be okay?” Oikawa places his hand on your shoulder, worry crossing his face.

Kuroo stands behind everyone, watching the two crowd you as you stand meekly beside them. He doesn’t want to believe that you could have been, or are a part of any of these killings, but his gut is telling him that there’s more. That these two are involved as well, and that this is far from being over.

With one last nod, they back off and let you open your door. The two men flash a glance at Kuroo but quickly hurry off into the night. Slowly, as if there are chains wrap around his ankles, Kuroo places one foot in front of the other and walks closer into the apartment.

You’ve already taken off your shoes and shed your coat as well as your purse. You feel absolutely drained from the anticipation of this conversation. Kuroo felt the same force draining his energy as he removes his shoes and heads to the same table you were all working at just earlier that day.

The chair screeches against the floor when he yanks it from it’s position with a bit too much force. Your hands lay flat on the cool countertop and the thousand yard stare takes over your eyes, thoughts flying in and out of your headspace. Too much information and consideration to handle at once, you just let everything relax and let out a long, deep sigh.

“So…” His voice is gruff, low and drawn out as he stares at the wood grain on the table.

You snap out of your trance and turn your body, hips leaning against the granite. “So-” your voice shakes ever so slightly, but you continue, “-what do you want to know?” Arms fold around your chest in a form of both protection and comfort. His eyes meet yours for a split second when he tries to sneak a peek, but he returns to tracing the aged wood with his eyes.

It takes him a few moments to collect his thoughts. To be fair, the question you just asked was a loaded one, and you are putting him on the spot. “Y/N… I really don’t even know where to start.” His eyes shut and he tries to rub the tiredness out of them. He figures going for the lowest hanging fruit first would make it easier to get details. “Are you…still a member?”

“No, god no.” You take a seat directly in front of him, but still he refuses to look at you. Your fingers weave together and sit on top of the wood, softly squeezing. “I haven’t been for a long time.”

After a few moments of silence, you elaborate. “I left them about six months before Takeda and Ukai asked me to join them. I haven’t had any contact with the mafia since I’ve left and I never intended for anyone to find out.”

“You weren’t gonna tell me?” His golden eyes throw you into a haze when they meet your own. He looks hurt, even more betrayed if that was possible.

“No.” You take your time in responding, hoping that somewhere deep inside of him, Kuroo could find it in himself to understand you.. “It would’ve been safer for everyone if they didn’t know.”

“I thought you trusted me?” His voice cracked, as if he was crying out to you. The question shatters your heart, wanting nothing more than to comfort him and assure him. “I mean, it seems like Oikawa and Iwaizumi already know since they aren’t here.”

“I do trust you.” The response is immediate. His eyes tell you that he doesn’t fully believe you, and once more you have to explain. “And they know some things about my past but nothing like this, I told them we could talk tomorrow but I wanted to speak with you first.” 

He chews on the inside of his cheek. “It was safer when no one knew, and now that you’ve been seen with me we’re all in danger.”

“Do you think that I wouldn’t be able to handle myself? Or that the other two are incompetent of using their gifts?” The volume and conviction in his voice grows with each syllable. Disappointment quickly turns into agitation as his eyebrows twitch and mouth twists further into a frown.

“No, Kuroo, it’s just that-”

“Just what?!” You clench your jaw at the outburst. “You pretended for years to be one of us and not once did you think you would’ve been more trusted if you told us?!”

His fists flex on the tabletop, his knuckles turning white. He refuses to break eye contact and you sit there for a few seconds, realizing that this is not what you wanted to happen. You knew he would be angry, anyone in their right mind would be, but after working together for so long, you thought things might have been a little more civil. “Like I said, it was safer when no one kne-”

“Like hell Y/N!” Kuroo stands up and slams those clenched fists down. The booming from his fist pairs nicely with the sound of the chair toppling over, but you don’t flinch. Your thousand yard stare returns when it hits you that no matter what you say, he isn’t going to hear you out. “You just wanted to protect yourself from the Port Mafia and nothing else! The fact that your two ‘buddies’ already knew more than me is suspicious as fuck too!”

It’s not his fault. Pressure builds at your temples and your eyes hurt, the slow pulsating of your heartbeat grows louder and louder. You bring one hand up to rub your temples and take a few deep breaths. I would react the same.

“...you’re right...” It’s the only response you can think of. The only thing that can end this conversation as soon as possible. 

Kuroo’s face falls, his own little glimpse of hope shattered by those two words. He was thinking that this was somehow a misunderstanding. Maybe you had run into these guys before? Or maybe you knew them from your childhood? But your unwillingness to look at him paired with the confirmation of his accusation makes his stomach churn. “I trusted you!” His voice is much louder than the pounding in your head, and the message is clear. “I mean, what the fuck?! Were you just using us as a shield for the time being? Until they eventually found you?!”

Now he’s just shouting anything that comes to his head. His perception of you twisted into something sinister. Kuroo didn’t want to think about any of the good memories; the countless nights you spent at the office working on cases, teasing Kenma at the bars, having drinking contests with Bokuto, celebrating birthdays and agency anniversaries. All of them are tainted now, “knowing” that you were hiding something so huge and unforgiving from him.

On the other end of the table, you sit and in silence. Each word from him is like a stab to the back, each digging further into your body. This is it. They’re going to hunt him down if I leave and Oikawa and Iwaizumi are suspects. Everything I’ve worked so hard for. Down the drain.

He takes your silence as confirmation. “Fuck this. Fuck you.” 

With those final words, he starts to gather his belongings. You finally blink after what feels like hours and watch him. His movements stutter every now and then, telling you that he isn’t in full control of his emotions or motions. 

Right before he yanks the front door open, you stand at the end of the hall and speak ever so softly, weary of Kuroo’s response. “Please don’t tell the others…”

He fully stops his actions and head turns, holding a scornful gaze. “Don’t come back to the agency.” The threat is accentuated by the slam of the door which shakes the apartment.

Pin pricks wrack your body, a shiver runs down your spine and you sit there, numb. One of the only people you really cared for in this new life hates you now and deep down you know that this is the point of no return. The door has been locked behind you by a man with red hair and wants to ruin what you have.

Tendou knows. This thought finally crosses your mind. The Port Mafia knows that I’m alive and here in Yokohama. If that Miya boy remembers anything about you, then he might know about Oikawa and Iwaizumi. And even though Tendou doesn’t know who Kuroo is, he’s going to hunt him down now that you moved to protect him during the fight.

You stand in that hallway for hours, just thinking over your options and the thousands of possibilities that each decision would have. You only want to do what’s right. You have to fix the mess you’ve created. On its own, your body follows a procedure you’ve only done once before and you don’t sleep for the rest of the night.

Cold air settles low over the dimly lit streets, the soft rays of the morning sun warming whatever they touched. For all of the other members of the ADA, it was just another work day as they entered the office group by group. Hajime and Tooru enter roughly on time, nervousness bubbling in the pits of their stomachs as they watch the door carefully, waiting for their black haired friend to enter the office.

Normally, the work day starts around eight for preliminary paperwork and meetings, especially if you’re assigned to a big case. The clock now reads eight forty-five. Each time the hand moves, Oikawa feels like hurling. Neither you or Kuroo have shown up, and the interns have tried calling you both, but to no avail. 

Three minutes pass when the front door squeaks. The damn thing has been needing oil for months now, but Iwaizumi thanks whatever God there is that lets him know someone is here. He doesn’t turn immediately, knowing it would make him more of a suspect. Heavy footsteps tell him that it’s a man that has walked in, and much to his relief Kuroo is walking to his desk. Heavy bags fall under his eyes, dark circles enhancing the tired look adorning his face. 

“Hey Kuroo!” Bokuto, boisterous as ever, slaps his shoulder with a bright smile. When the feeling isn’t returned, his grin falters.

Kuroo continues to his desk and sits down with a huff, turning on his computer and minding his own damn business. Last night was awful, as he had gotten no sleep from his consistent tossing and turning from your conversation. He tried tea, warm milk, pills and all forms of home remedy but everything left a bad taste in his mouth. Something in the back of his keeps telling him that there’s more to your story.

“Um, sorry to bug you, Mr. Kuroo,” Hinata, one of the newest interns, stands next to the desk. “Have you heard from Y/N at all?” Whatever he was working on came to a halt, pen pushing hard into the paper.

Across the room, Iwaizumi and Oikawa listen closely to the encounter, having already told Hinata that they aren’t able to get a hold of you at all and that they assumed you would be arriving with Kuroo.

“No.” The pen scribbles once again.

Hinata continues to stand there, awkwardly looking around since his main task this morning was to make sure all reports from yesterday's investigation got submitted, and if you weren’t there then he wouldn’t be able to do anything. He swallows. “Would you happen to know where she is?”

“No.” Any idle chit chatter stops, and everyone turns to the scene. Hinata’s eyes go wide, and he quickly apologizes before scurrying off. The other detectives glare at Kuroo, wondering what his problem is. After his outburst, Kuroo looks directly at Oikawa and Iwaizumi, as if to threaten them, silently saying that he knows.

“Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” Sawamura, ever the mediator, walks over to the group of desks and takes a seat in your chair.

“Not in the mood today.”

“I think we can all tell.” Sawamura smiles, trying his best to lighten the atmosphere. Everyone figures something finally happened between you two (since it was fairly obvious that something was growing) and it didn’t go down great. “Hinata’s just trying to make sure he can get his job done for the day, so don’t be too hard on him. If anything, all of us are wondering where Y/N is since she’s never late unless it’s an emergency.”

“Well, she is in the middle of something, but apparently none of us are good enough for her to tell us.” Each word stings the ears of the peeping toms across the pond. Kuroo did not take the news well, each of the men think and they start to text one another.

Kuroo’s statement left a large majority of the agency confused, Kenma, Sugawara, Asahi, Tanaka, Nishinoya and the interns keep an ear out for whatever’s happening. 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi continue to text one another, coming to the conclusion that they should go to your apartment and check on how you’re doing all things considered, but they sit and wait for the right moment to escape the tense situation.

Sawamura continues to push, not knowing about the cracks in the dam he’s forming. “You think she’s doing okay? I mean, she doesn’t talk about family all that much but if she’s missing work then something pretty bad probably happened.”

“I mean, Y/N’s pretty reasonable about work,” Sugawara pipes up. “If she was going through something then surely she must’ve told Takeda and Ukai.”

“You’d be surprised what she’s capable of hiding. I severely doubt that either of them know what’s up with her.” With Kuroo’s heavy insinuation that there’s something going on, and this makes everyone’s hearts skip a beat.

“What are you all talking about?” Disturbed by the ruckus, Ukai opens the door to his office and a plume of smoke leaves his lips. Annoyance lays heavy on his tone and he looks at the group that has gathered around Kuroo’s desk. The lit cigarette in his hand fills the agency with a sour smell, one that none of the crew is particularly fond of but it’s their boss. What can they say?

“Y/N hasn’t shown up yet,” Sugawara takes initiative. “And apparently Kuroo knows something that we don’t.” Rather than taking the depressing outlook, he quirks his brow and smiles jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood and clear the air.

The two that are out of the conversation start to gather their things, unbeknownst to them that Kuroo is keeping tabs on what they’ve been doing. He saw them texting and he figures they were planning to check up on you since you all are working on a case together, but his agitation grows larger with each person that enters the conversation.

Even though you did ask him not to tell anyone - to hell with your requests. You didn’t bother to let anyone in for years on this little secret, and at this point everyone deserves to know or they’ll just keep bothering him until he lets it out.

“Oh yeah?” Ukai prods as Iwa and Oikawa stand up and head for the door.

“Yeah. She lied to you all for years.” His voice is crisp and clear. Any sound that was present before stopped immediately, including the footsteps of your companions. They stop dead in their tracks, Oikawa’s hand on the door handle and they wait. “I don’t think she’ll be coming back.”

“The hell you talkin’ about, kid?” Ukai’s hand raises to his face, and he takes a long drag before slowly letting smoke pass through his lips as he looks across the room.

“Y/N was a member of the Port Mafia and you let her under your roof, let you work next to you. She lied to all of us.”

It feels like the world stopped. 

Everyone stops breathing collectively, skepticism clouding their minds. Y/N? She wouldn’t…. She wouldn’t have done that… would she?

Each detective and every intern takes a moment to think over the crazy accusation that Kuroo is throwing out there, seemingly without any evidence. Kenma, even though he was the closest with Kuroo, looks uneasy as he imagines you working with those bastards. Bokuto and Akaashi, each at their respective desks, face the accuser and furrow their brows. You four had so many memories, so many nights out laughing together.

Sugawara, Asahi and Sawamura all share a look. They’ve known you since the creation of the agency, and have only known you to be helpful in times of need. Not once had it crossed any of their minds that you could have ever worked alongside the mafia. You were just selfless and smart.

“Y/N… an ex-mafia member?” Thinking out loud, Ukai stares Kuroo down. He’s taking this as a sort of personal attack. Ukai was the one who sought you out and asked you to start this agency with Takeda and the three others. He saw something different in you, a natural sort of gift apart from the supernatural stuff you got going on. Ukai saw that you just wanted to help and in those days you struggled to communicate with the others. You closed yourself off for a long time, and his personal project for months was just to make you comfortable. And now Kuroo is saying that you used to work for people who killed and stole from those that you now help.

This better be a sick joke.

“Yeah, Oikawa and Iwaizumi could tell you all about it.” If this is a game of chess, that would’ve been a checkmate. “We ran into some mafia members last night and they started to talk with Y/N.” His eyes shift to Oikawas, whose hand is still on the door. “Right, guys?”

Knuckles turning white, Oikawa doesn’t dare to turn around and face a room full of prying eyes. Iwaizumis hands turn into fists, his jaw clenches and his shoulders tense. Everyone’s breaths hitch in their throats as they wait for any sort of confirmation.

They’re met with silence

Kuroo huffs, as if he’s won. The reality of the situation settles heavily on everyone’s shoulders and it drags their hearts down to the floor. Whoever they knew, whatever version of Y/N they thought they knew was just a phony. A constructed personality that you put up just to cover that you were part of a group that would murder and steal from people. 

As soon as everyone’s hearts shatter, Oikawa finally turns the handle on the door and walks out. He’s aware that people are still watching him, but the scenario has changed drastically in the last five minutes and the only thing on his mind is only on making sure that: one, you’re okay and two, that the mafia hasn’t already found your house.

The pair practically run to the station ignoring the curses from strangers that they bump into and shove past as they squeeze onto the next train.

Back in the office, no one dares to move an inch after the door slams shut. Ukai lets the cigarette sit loosely on his lips, almost falling out when he tries to speak.

“Listen,” his voice is shaking, “I’m sure this is just some sort of misunderstanding-”

“Not when she told me herself.” Kuroo refuses to let them be fooled anymore. He can’t bear to just let all of friends think that they know someone that they don’t. It’s not fair to them. These people have done nothing to deserve being led through the dark. Y/N had no right to hide this information and the fact she didn’t want anyone to know is unnerving.

“Why would she ever have been with them?” Ukai can’t take this shit. He won’t take this kind of slander. In the back of his mind, he’s always known that you had a story to tell, but he was never one to force things out of people. This was on a different level, but nonetheless he wasn’t just going to let Kuroo, one of your closer associates in the agency, try and give you hell for something that may or may not be true.

“I didn’t get that part, but none of us know anything about her from before she joined the agency if I’m not mistaken. She lied to all of us.” Kuroo’s conviction never faltered, not once did he stutter while speaking nor did he shy away from eye contact.

In the depths of his heart, locked under thousands of doors he has a yearning, wanting to understand why. Why didn’t you tell him? Why were you with them? Too bad all of the locks to get there were met with anger and irrationality. His emotions misguide him in this moment, and all he sees is red. It felt like he had been stabbed a million times over; he thought your relationship was going somewhere, that the trust you had built up was going to be worth something.

Everything’s shattered now.

“What if she changed? What if she just wanted to help people?” Ukai marches over to his desk and stares down. A challenge to what was previously a beat down.

“Why didn’t she just tell us? What was so hard about telling us so that we could help her?” Kuroo stands to look down on Ukai. “Huh!?” 

Both of the men have snarl’s etched into their faces. Both trying their best to understand how this all happened.

“He’s got a point, Ukai.” Sawamura speaks softly, grasping Ukai’s shoulder as if to tell him to back down. “We don’t know anything about Y/N.”

“So now you’re piling in?!” Ukai’s gaze shifts to Daichi’s. How could he? Being one of the original members alongside you, Ukai thought he would at least try and understand your point of view.

“I’m just saying that he’s making some decent points, and Kuroo hasn’t done me wrong yet. Y/N is a great detective, but none of us know anything about her.”

“Hey guys, what’s with all the ruckus?” The small figure of Takeda stands in the hallway, right outside of his office while he fidgets with his hands.

“Kuroo’s accusing Y/N of being an ex mafia member,” Ukai spits.

Eyes wide, Takeda glances around the office, taking note of who’s in the room. “Where is she?”

“No one knows. Iwaizumi and Oikawa just left.” Daichi doesn’t want to instigate further, only telling his boss what has happened.

“Well at least those two have decent heads on them. Instead of wondering and making accusations why don’t you all go ask her yourself.” This rarely happens. Takeda is usually optimistic and reasonable, but on rare occasions his face goes rigid and he loses his happy aura. “Kuroo’s words may be true, but aren’t you all detectives? Isn’t it your job to investigate accusations and figure out if they’re true or not?”

Everyone in the room knows he’s right, and they don’t dare try and talk back. Kuroo returns to his seat and watches as everyone wonders what to do next.

“If you aren’t going to go ask her yourself or are waiting for Iwaizumi and Oikawa to return please get back to work. We’ve lost valuable time and I’m sure this will all blow over soon.” The smile that crosses Takeda’s lips is forced, but it calms the overall anxiety trapped within the walls of the agency. “Ukai and Kuroo, would you mind meeting me in my office?”

The small chit chatter returns and blends with the sound of the A.C. unit as the three men walk down the hallway. It feels like it stretches with each step, and the tension rises as the blonde and black haired men both hold the anticipation of being scolded in their chests.

Never one to raise his voice, Takeda calmly sits them down and explains his disappointment. He expresses that he does not care what happened the previous night or if you truly were a member of the Port Mafia.

“Y/N is an adult, and she has a right to tell certain people certain things. It was highly immature and disrespectful of you to go around telling everyone her own business. Plus, that knowledge has serious implications, and if she told you then that means she trusted you a great deal considering none of us have ever heard such a thing.” Kuroo can’t tell what Takeda’s eyes hold as he speaks, but he knows that several of those doors unlocked with his small speech. “You still have a job to do. I expect you to work this out with her, Iwaizumi and Oikawa as well as finish the case the four of you were assigned.”

Takeda dismisses Kuroo without any more guidance, and he returns to his desk. Bokuto and Akaashi keep to themselves, almost afraid of what would happen if they asked or even looked at Kuroo. Your desk, which is directly in front of him, sits there. 

Empty

You never really bothered to decorate it with much. There were a few pens you really liked, Kuroo always noting the brand and buying you some for Christmas, but not much else. Well, besides the one picture propped up against the mug of pens. The one picture of everyone at the agency during the last Christmas party. Everyone’s faces slightly red from spending the night drinking, but big and bright smiles adorning everyone's features.

More doors unlock at the memory.

Running in work pants was never Iwaizumi’s favorite thing to do. He always favored a good pair of basketball shorts and a tank top for his runs, but today he didn’t have a choice. As soon as the chime for doors played over the subway speakers, he hit Oikawa on the shoulder and they both sprintined up the stairs, out onto the streets of Yokohama.

The morning breeze swept across the streets. You preferred living on the outskirts of the city, but not quite in the suburbs. The closest train station was about a twenty minute walk, and an eleven minute run if you were Tooru and Hajime.

The minute Kuroo started to spout the mafia rumors, their anxiety skyrocketed. Sure they trusted you, but they had no idea just how much you told him: like how they were ex-members just like you.

They assumed not, because Kuroo never lumped you in with them, but it still was concerning that he was just telling everyone your biggest secret like it was nothing. 

Both men have shed their jackets, choosing to carry them and flip their ties over their shoulders as they run. Pedestrians and drivers yelled at them as they crossed streets with red lights, but they didn’t have time to worry about that right now.

You weren’t responding to anyone’s messages and this was right after you not only told someone about your past, but right after you “reconnected” with an old friend after years. The last response either of them has gotten from you was a simple “yeah” after Tooru had asked if everything went okay.

After this morning, they knew that was a fucking lie.

Your apartment complex wasn’t gated, and the first thing they notice is the lack of your car in the parking lot. The next thing that catches their eyes is the metal barrel that was used for trash that had smoke coming from it.

The two slow their pace and approach the bin carefully, but when Hajime looks past the rim he recognizes some of your clothes, among other things like scraps of paper. Tooru looks to your apartment, and nudges Hajime with urgency. Looking at his partner, Hajime slowly turns to wherever Toory is facing.

“Fuck…” The door to your apartment is wide open, and from outside they can see it’s been torn to shreds. Furniture flipped over, lamps and light fixtures smashed and no lights.

A gaping hole replaces their stomachs, and for the first time in a long while neither of them has any clue what to do.

[littlespaceporgs]

Tea or Caf? -  ii

Congrats again for your milestone! May I also request 2. moving around while kissing, stumbling over things, pushing each other back against the wall/onto the bed with Obi-Wan please? Thank you! 🥰💕

Hey! Congrats on 50 followers 🥳 Could I possibly request prompt 2 from the list with Obi-Wan? Thanks lovely 🤩💞

A/N: Literally I had the time of my life writing this, and it’s officially my longest fic, and my first part ii to a fic that I’ve ever done! And it’s also the first one I’ve ever done with a (albeit very small) bit of spice, so I’m hitting some milestones today! I really hope that everyone likes this one!

Link to part i

Want to Request? See Here.

Tea or Caf? - Part ii

Prompt: #2 -  moving around while kissing, stumbling over things, pushing each other back against the wall/onto the bed

Word Count: 1.8k (!!!) Pairing: Padawan!Obi-Wan x Padawan!Reader (Both of which are over-age!) Warnings: Mild spice with a reference to adult activities Description: After Obi-Wan goes missing on a mission, you find yourself deeply worried and lost without him.

Tags for my lovelies: @anakin-danvers @mcu-padawan @saintlaurentkenobi @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @littlevodika @cherieboba @ohhellokenobi @obirain @catsnkooks @kaminobiwan @hellotherekenobi

You sat by the window of your room, watching as speeders of all kinds moved through the skies of Coruscant. A red one was weaving around and through the traffic going a little faster than the others. A blue one had just taken a sudden dive towards the ground before it very quickly swerved back again into the lane, probably a learner. Every time you spotted a speeder that was a colour that wasn’t grey, you tapped your index finger on the side of your cup. 

It was a break that you needed, as the rest of your room seemed eerily grey currently. The lively green of the plant on your table, the blue covers of your bed seemed to pale even as the afternoon sun had come over. You turned your gaze to your cup where the tea, which had been boiling hot not too long ago, had gone cold. It was the only semblance of colour you had at the moment, a soft orange. A warm, comforting colour that served to remind you of another time. It wasn’t too long ago that you had argued the true worth of tea, but now you knew what he meant, about it calming the soul.

Of course, that was over 3 weeks ago. Following your mock argument over tea or caf, Obi-Wan had left with Master Qui-Gon to go settle a dispute of some sort on an outer rim planet. For the first six days, they checked in every afternoon at the same time, bringing news that all was well so far. On the seventh day, they missed check-in. This wasn’t out of character for Qui-Gon, but typically Obi-Wan would contact the council with some degree of news regardless, but alas, they heard nothing. And according to your master, that had been the last time they had heard anything from them. The days quickly passed and it wasn’t until the 17th day of no contact that they sent another Jedi team to go and find them. You had naturally volunteered, but your master had not permitted it. It wasn’t until you were both behind closed doors that she told you why.

“I fear your judgement may be clouded in this instance, Padawan. I think it best if you stay here.”

Of course she was right, it didn’t make you any less worried however. So when she left, she tasked you with busying yourself in the Halls of Healing as a distraction. It worked when you were there, because instead of being concerned for your Obi-Wan, you could be concerned with the well-being of other injured Jedi. Bant did everything she could to make you feel better, including coming to your rooms and helping you make dinner, or even just a touch on the shoulder when you needed it. There were a few nights where you’d both just sit quietly and wonder. She understood how you felt to a point.

While physically you felt fine, mentally, you were drained. Everything just seemed to feel so heavy without him, like you couldn’t share the weight anymore. Colours and tastes became bland, as the only thing you could think about was if he was okay.

You stood from where you were sitting and straightened out your robes. You placed the tea cup on the table and left the room, your shift in the Halls was starting soon and you’d prefer to be on time. The tea was cold anyway.

                                                        <3

The night shift typically dragged out, regardless if a Jedi master and Padawan were missing. It’s quiet, as everyone here is asleep or checking on pulses or blood pressure. These were the hours when you healers would do the menial tasks of data entry usually. That’s what you did anyway, entering in the most recent heart rate when the comm on Master Che’s wrist began to beep loudly. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Bant snap up at the same time as you.

“Healer Che?”

“Yes?” Her voice rang out clear despite being low in volume.

“They’ve returned with Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi,“ your heart skipped a- no more like 3 beats at the news. At some point Bant had approached you and was now grinning with a hand on your shoulder. Your stomach seemed to drop with relief and you shot out of your chair. Vaguely, you registered the voice asking Master Che for help, but you were almost too happy to hear. She pointed towards yourself and Bant and then gestured to the doorway before rushing out herself. In your stomach, you felt deep rooted concern, what if they weren’t in good shape? What if they were brushing against death?

As you ran out into the hall, you shoved the thoughts away, they have to be alright.

By the time you and Bant had made it to the hangar, Master Che had already taken over looking at Obi-Wan. She apparently had taken him straight to his room and left the two of you to check over Qui-Gon. The Master however, was mostly un-injured, only a few minor scrapes and bruises, and possibly looking slightly skinnier than what he had been when he left. This did not however, stop him from grinning and re-telling how the natives hadn’t taken kindly to the Jedi interfering with their dispute and promptly decided to take them both prisoners.

You had hoped that he would not notice, but you were nearly rocking on your toes, and your hands had the slightest shake, and there must have been a look of concentration on your face. He did, despite your hoping, notice and put a hand on your shoulder. His force signature seemed to wrap around you at the same time, projecting calm, peace and relief onto you.

“Obi-Wan is fine, mostly exhausted and hungry, but otherwise he wasn’t really hurt.” You felt your own signature sigh in relief and had to forcefully plant your feet on the ground so you wouldn’t run off to see him.

You sent Qui-Gon on his way not long after, and contemplated following to go and see your alive Obi-Wan, but ultimately decided that you should let him sleep tonight and just see him tomorrow, despite everything trying to drag you to see him. Entering the code to your room and stepping inside, a feeling crept up your neck and began to press on the base of your skull. Someone else is in here.

Your stomach lurched and your heart started racing as your hand moved to your lightsaber on your hip. Squinting into the dark, a figure near the window moved slightly. You reached out with your signature, trying to brush whoever was there, determine friend or foe. You didn’t expect to find a familiar signature instead wrap you up and rapidly tell you to calm down. Dropping your hand, your heart seemed to stop. The corners of your eyes started to burn hot.

“Obi?” He stepped forward and grinned, opening his arms up. You launched yourself at him, holding tight. “Force Obi! You scared me!” You pulled back to look at his face, and sure enough, it was free of dirt. There was a dark bruise on his cheek and his hair looked overly fluffy, like it had just been washed. You struck him on the shoulder. “Why the kark would you do that?” He rolled his eyes.

“Oh hi Obi, good to see that you’re alright,” you laughed lightly.

“Careful, if you roll your eyes any harder you’ll see your empty skull,” He mocked a gasp before kissing your forehead. “I missed you.” He seemed to sigh heavily and sunk into your arms.

“I missed you too.” You pulled away again and rested your hand on his bruised cheek. You frowned in concern.

“Are you ok?” He moved a hand to cover the one that was on his face, pulling it to his lips and kissing the tips of your fingers. A shiver ran down your back.

“I am now,” he stopped for a second before continuing, “I love you.” You felt your cheeks flush and a warm feeling settled in your chest.

“I love you too.” There was silence again, although, he was looking at you differently now. There was still the adoration, but it was mixed with something else. Your heart skipped a beat and your stomach churned with anticipation. Neither of you moved for a second, and then he lurched towards you, kissing you firmly on the lips. One of his hands was on the back of your ribs and the other was on your cheek now. When you kissed him back, his mouth parted slightly and another chill ran up your spine. You began stepping back, hitting the wall and pulling him with you as the kiss began to grow a little more feverish. He moved his lips away from yours and went to your jaw and then down your neck, still pressing into you, and pulled you away from the wall and around the room. You tilted your head slightly, and gasped out a quiet moan. He bit harder at the sound and moved you backwards faster, moving back up to kiss your lips again.

When your back hit the table, you barely registered the dull flick of pain. Your hands moved to the edge of the table as you felt yourself being lifted onto the table. Obi-Wan pulled away, looking at you with a silent question. You noticed the puffy red lips that you would surely have as well. You nodded once, and he wedged himself between your legs and kissed you once more. Once the robe was off your shoulders, he pulled back again to push the undershirt over your head. You felt him grin as he kissed you heatedly again. Your signatures had long since melted into each other as your bare chests pressed together. The tiredness was pulling at you both, but sleep could wait awhile you supposed.

BONUS:

At some point, you must’ve moved onto the couch, because you woke up with a thin blanket covering you and Obi-Wan missing. You sat up, wrapping the blanket around yourself just as he appeared in the doorway. You murmured out a greeting when he kissed your forehead, before spinning back around into the kitchen.

“Tea or caf?” You snorted under your breath.

“Is that even a question?” You could practically feel the amusement roll off his force signature.

“Sorry, I forgot you drink gundark wast-” Indignation and arrogance mixed with little sleep combined with amusement seemed to trigger the usual ‘conversation’ between the two of you.

“Excuse me? All you drink is leaf juice that tastes like s-”

“Leaf juice? How-“

“I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again; tea tastes like its come straight out of the sith hells!”

[greywritesfics]

Chapter Thirty-One: Interruption

Class 1-A suited to their P.E. costumes early in the morning.

"This camp's mission is to strengthen everyone's Quirks as a whole and prepare you for the obstacles bound to come," Aizawa announced, looking around his students. "With that said, Bakugo, throw this," he continued, tossing a baseball toward the said male.

"This is the same as the Quirk apprehension test, right?" Mina observed, and Minori nodded in agreement.

"He's totally going to get over a kilometer!" the pinkette gushed, looking over at Bakugo excitedly. Following her line of sight, Minori finds him exercising his throwing wrist. Walking up further in front, he swings his arm as the rest of the students cheered in anticipation.

Bakugo crouched down, letting a small smirk take his features and, in a very typical Bakugo fashion, yelled out a 'DROP DEAD!" before using his explosion to propel the ball forward. Stepping back in satisfaction, everyone watched as the ball traveled out of sight. But as the rest of the students reeled at the distance, Aizawa sighed, holding up a tablet that displayed Bakugo's score.

"Seven hundred and nine-point-six meters."

"Huh? That's not even close to what we expected," Kirishima mumbled at the low improvement, furrowing his eyebrows.

"All of you have gained a lot of experience in the past three months," Aizawa continued. "But that growth has been primarily emotional and technical." He turned around, facing the class. "Now the time has come to concentrate on physical advancement as well. As you can see, your Quirks themselves have only improved, at best, by a marginal amount." His mouth morphed into a sneering smile. "So starting today, we will focus on upgrading your Quirks. I will be pushing you beyond your limits, so try not to die on me."

All around, mayhem ensued. Each and every one of the students has been tasked with individual training to push their Quirks to the limit. Every single person in Class 1-A seemed to be doing different things with their Quirk.

Angry yells echoed from a specific spot in the large clearing. A particular ash-blonde male repeatedly dunking his hands into scalding water, and as soon as he releases them, he let out a series of explosions.

On the other hand, Minori was set in the field's corner, where most greenery grew. She was standing in front of a large tree, panting hard but pushing on. Utilizing the dynamic footwork she learned from her mentor, Jiyuu, she maneuvers herself around the tree bark smoothly, manipulating her air in the form of sharp blades to raze the thick tree, striking it again and again. All the while evoking the wind's intangibility and explosive power, drawing energy from the center of her abdomen.

However, her training didn't end there. No, she was forced to continue using her Quirk by using circular movements. She builds up a massive momentum and releases it with a vast, wide-spanning low sweep from her leg, the air current weaving through the dense shrubbery and essentially, mowing the lawn. When the grass appeared flat, she continued to practice her offense abilities, but in a broader spectrum. Performing larger sweepings and spins from her limbs, fan, or both, the salty sweat trickling down the sides of her face and from the way she breathed, deep, heaving and uneven, that she was driven to the utmost and was utterly exhausted. With another powerful motion, she engraved a deep cut into the timber.

Minori panted, glancing over at the students of Class 1-B huddled around staring at her class training, her air blade manipulation never ceasing. She narrowed her eyes as it looked directly in cerulean blue ones of the blonde male from the Sports Festival as he stared right at her, sending him a quick glare, she returned to her training. As she felt more and more of her energy being depleted, she hurried to ignore the aches and exhaustion.

"Ki, nice job with the tree," Aizawa appeared from nowhere before venomously smirking. "Now, try with the stone over here." The teachers supervising seemed set on pushing the students to their breaking point, and Minori wondered if she would die on this training camp.

Training finally ended for the day, and Minori groaned in relief as she finally took a break for the day. Her head throbbed, and her knees threatened to buckle, yet she continued moving, following the rest of her class as they walked back to their residence. Yesterday's task had been nothing compared to the pure depletion she felt now. Shuffling over to the dining area seated outside, the rest of the students had already gathered, complaining about how they had to make their own food, compared to the meal they were given yesterday.

Spoiled brats.

"Minori! How was your training?" Mina inquired, walking up next to her. Compared to her, she looked pretty energetic, considering the harsh training they had to go through, but she could see the hint of exhaustion lacing her voice.

"Draining," she mumbled, setting herself right on a chair before her knees gave away. "I think I'm going to die."

Mina let out a giggle at her predicament, nodding. "Honestly, it was intense." The pinkette went over to look at what the others were doing, asking Todoroki for help with fire and helping in any way she could. Minori wondered how she was capable of being so perky when they had just endured an excruciating day through hell, but it's one of Mina's best qualities.

Taking a breath, she went over to the cutting station, unwilling to be the only one not contributing, and set about to help cut up the vegetables they were currently making. Settling down beside Bakugo, who was surprisingly skilled in his knife work, she started peeling. Glancing over at what the male was doing, she tried copying his skill yet failing miserably.

"What?" Bakugo grumbled, noticing her stare.

"You're pretty good with a knife," she commented, still trying to cut around her own potatoes.

"No, shit. You're doing it all wrong," he sneered, looking over at her handiwork. Minori didn't feel the need to answer with a smart retort knowing that he was right. After all, she didn't think she had ever cooked a meal before, opting for pre-made meals instead. "You have to put your hands on the base here." Outstretching his large calloused hands, he paused, crimson orbs widening and hand frozen centimeters before hers. "Just watch me," he mumbled, turning back to his cutting board and silently went about slowing down on his chopping, letting her see how it was done. She brightened up at his slow pace, finally able to grasp how to properly handle a knife.

"Thanks."

"Whatever, I just don't want to eat shitty food."

They fell into a comfortable silence, and Minori couldn't help but glance over toward the male beside her, catching Bakugo flinching and clicking his teeth in frustration. Her large grey orbs noticed a minuscule cut on his thumb. "You cut yourself?"

"No, Captain Obvious, I just made myself bleed on the spot," he retorted, rolling his eyes and applying pressure to the wound.

"Let me see," she mumbled. Without waiting for his approval, she grabbed his hand for a better look, earning a cry of protest from the male.

"Let me go, you curly-haired freak!" he growled, yet made no effort to move his hand away. By now, the rest of the class had turned over at the commotion, finding the explosive male at Minori's mercy. She caught the dazed look of amber eyes, gazing intently at the duo, making said female furrow her eyebrows in confusion.

"Shut up and stop acting like a baby, Katsuki. I'm not going to hurt you," she responded, rolling her eyes before glaring down at his thumb where the wound was, using her fingers to gently brush the small cut. She heard him mumble under his breath, but ignored his words, concentrating on providing more oxygen into his body, providing nutrients to effectively increase his metabolism and pressurize the air to forcefully seal off the wound.

Removing her hand from Bakugo's, she inspected his thumb that looked as good as new. "See?" Minori asked, peering at his pouty expression before he snatched his hand away, glaring where the cut had been.

"Where the hell did you learn to do that?" he gritted.

"You're welcome," she responded simply, ignoring his question as the class began preparing the curry into bowls.

"You can't help but put your hands on me," Bakugo commented disinterestedly, but Minori caught the glint of playfulness in his sharp eyes. Is THE Bakugo Katsuki trying to joke around?

Although she knew he was only playing around, she couldn't help the gasp of disbelief escape her plump lips. "Me? What about you? Mr. what-the-fuck-did-you-say-collar-grabber," she said, mimicking his deep voice.

His face scrunched into one of incredulity. "The fuck, when do I ever?"

She snorts, "ok, King Explosion Murder." She smirks, but her lips quickly stretch into a genuine smile as a laugh escapes from her throat, watching his vermillion eyes narrow into a glare.

"Listen here you--"

"My point," Minori whispers at their close proximity. The ash-blonde fisted the collar of her shirt, her captor dangerously close to her. His gleaming crimson orbs peered into her grey ones, and with a distance comparable to none, his features were much more striking: beautiful sharp eyes, skin near perfect, and a sharp jaw paired with adorably chubby cheeks. His fiery crimson eyes seemed to shift with uncertainty, and at that moment, it felt like the world stopped moving. When his eyes flickered back to hers, she almost jolted at the spark.

"Am I interrupting something?" Uraraka asked quietly, slowly placing their plates on the table. Bakugo pushed away from her face sharply, agitation evident through his taut jaw.

"No," Minori answered, the tone of her voice unnaturally high. She cleared her throat, ignoring the complete humiliation she felt.

"Uh, right," she said, her brown eyes shining with skepticism. "I'll leave you to it then."

Shooting the male seated next to her a quick glance, Minori followed Bakugo's heated stare on the brunette. For a second, his eyes flickered to hers before briefly shutting them and muttering a quiet swear. Gritting his teeth, he turned to his bowl of curry, not sparing the female another glance.

When Minori was about to delve into her meal, she caught sight of a familiar red walking past the class and disappearing. She quickly ate the well-deserved food and picked up her plate to deposit it in the washing area. Grabbing onto another bowl, she went deep into the forest.

Finding the boy wasn't hard. His footprints were rutted into the dried mud, leaving his shoe casts. The farther she walked, the more intertwined the forest got with thick tree roots and sharp rocks. The hidden path where his footprints disappeared to was tucked away in the depths of the woods. The track was remarkably clear and smooth. And from a distance, Minori found and the interestingly shaped horned hat.

"Kota, right?" Minori announced, making herself known to the seated boy. "I brought you some curry."

"You! How did you know I was here?! This is my secret spot!" He scowled red-faced.

"Secret spot? That's cool," she says, squatting down and placing the bowl on the ground for him.

"What part of 'I'm not fucking around with you scrubs' did you not understand? Showing off your corny ass powers and fighting for no reason like fucking idiots! Just leave me be."

"I'm sorry about your parents," Minori apologized, giving her condolences, continuing when Kota swiveled around, grinding his teeth. "Mandalay told me the night you passed out in the baths."

"Screw you!" he hissed, his lips quivering. "People like you, heroes, villains killing each other, bragging about your Quirks, stupid. Just like the superhero society." The ravenette confessed, contempt evident in his tone.

"Ain't that right," Minori snorted, agreeing, watching as the boy's coal-like eyes widened in shock. "Hero society, villain society, society as a whole is all messed up."

"...huh?"

"My name is Ki Minori. I'm the daughter of Tatsumaki," she paused, watching the recognition fall over his features. "Because of what she's done, Tatsumaki, society feared me, blamed me, and hated me. They expected me to follow the same path as her, so I was put into Thanatos. It's called a boarding school, but it's more-so of a prison." Minori frowned, the memories of her life spent through that building fluttering through her mind. "I was never allowed to use my Quirk, I actually hated it for the resemblance it has to my mother's because I didn't want to be like her. I can't say this without bias, but I'm going to become a hero so I can prove everyone wrong and change the way people view Quirks."

Sighing, Minori looks at the short boy with soft eyes. "Moral of the story, Kota, nothing is black or white. If you continue thinking the same way you are, in the end, you're only going to hurt yourself."

"Shut up! You don't even know what you're talking about! Just leave already," he snarls, infuriated and tight-lipped, pointing back to where she came from.

"Ok," she nods, standing up onto her feet and turning to walk away. "Make sure you eat. Have a good night."

As she walks back to her room, Minori acknowledges that hearing a random person try to preach about things they can't grasp is probably annoying to him. Her words can only mean so much. It's the actions that really count. In the end, she knows Kota will eventually learn to see, just like someone helped her even though she didn't want it. If it's not her, eventually, Kota will have that certain someone.

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A/N: NOW Y’ALL SEE WHY I POSTED THAT DEBBY RYAN MEME HEHEHEHE... I hope y’all are ready for this downfall :))) because I’m not 🙈

[coldcolourchords]

Turning 21 - an unwanted landmark

It happened an hour and 20 minutes ago, as the clock hit midnight CEST and the date changed so seamlessly to the 12th, without any hesitation, uneventfully and in complete silence, just as expected. The day I've been negatively anticipating for the better half of the past one year has come, and it caught me sitting at my computer alone in the living room, drinking hot tea on a summer night in a sweater and doing my silly little tasks that I call "work" (because despite my best efforts, middle of the night is still the only time of the day I can function as intended).

I remember ever since I was a child I always used to start mentally preparing myself for my birthday from New Year's Day. Even my mother used to say, "now that it's 2010, you're already 10 to me", even though August was still nowhere to be seen. But that felt good at the time. The beginning of a new year and my birthday approaching meant hope and progress, as the only thing I wanted as a child and as a teen was to grow up and not have to be a child anymore. I didn't like going to school, I didn't like being told to do things, I didn't like not being taken seriously, as I'm sure no one does. But by "didn't like", I mean it caused me severe emotional distress, the stuff that happened to me every single day without my control. It's hard to tell now in retrospect what caused what, but I have memories of developing my two most prominent and persistent mental disorders at around 6 years old (social anxiety and a BFRB) which have isolated me and often subjected me to cooler kids poking fun at me, shortly followed by starting school in the middle of my parent's divorce and moving houses. One of our last dinners in my father's comforting family home at the dinner table, I remember being visibly sad and my mum asking me what was wrong. My slightly belated answer ("everything") did not quite get the desired reception, as she and my little brother went on to have a little giggle over making assumptions about what that must include ("I'm sure she's sad over dinosaurs going extinct too..."). And, from then on, it's pretty much been downhill. I didn't like being home and I didn't like being at school (or at any of the million extracurricular activities my mum had picked out for me falsely thinking they could stop me from hurting myself and not just accelerate it). The ever-present social anxiety, bottled up frustration, high academic expectations and confusion about the nature of my very own self-destructive behaviours did not make for an enjoyable time in any of my 12 years at school. So, obviously, all I could do was anticipate the end. The end of being vulnerable to the very systems that were meant to nurture me and protect me.

I think that was my way of thinking all the way until I turned 19. Two years ago. At 19, I had graduated high school, I was about to start university studying something I was interested in, I had a semi-stable student job I liked and I was ready to move in with my boyfriend (a former classmate), separate from our parents. I had an artistic goal that I was ready to work for in my free time, and living away from home I was finally going to get the capacity to do so as well. And then when all of this happened and my thoughts became occupied with the new kind of responsibilities that came with "adulting", I started getting this overwhelming feeling of "what now?". A couple months have passed in the blink of an eye, it was November and I wasn't happy. I was making virtually no progress on my creative goals, my flat was a smelly mess, I didn't see my friends and I wasn't making new ones, and I found university to be draining and incompatible with my brain. I wasn't enjoying anything. I thought, "is this how I'm going to have to spend another 3 years?".

And then a miracle happened. I had to give a presentation at uni with a couple of other girls, and one of them suggested a book to do it based on. Reading my part of the book to prepare for the presentation has unlocked something in me - it was a book about the way people manage to feel like hostages due to their own decisions and thoughts. First it hurt to read because I had to face the truth: I wasn't really a hostage of expectations, university or responsibilities, I was a hostage of myself and my own attitude. I even wrote a song about this (my ultimate way of being honest with myself), and that's when I've felt ready to start working on myself in order to take back control over my life. And hell, I have done it. In a couple of weeks, I was feeling the best I've ever felt and I went into exam season thinking I was capable of the impossible at this point. Who knew I had it in me? I had gotten through a couple of exams and assignments and I was thinking soon I was going to start improving in other areas of my life as well. I was going to make art, see my friends again, go out, have fun, maybe learn to cook and be a better girlfriend too. Not a lot of that has happened. Came the end of exams and the second half of January and I was already exhausted. My job was at a halt and uni wasn't back on until mid February, so I spent a few shallow weeks at home just thinking "why am I doing this again?". It was difficult, suddenly having too much space for negative thoughts and rumination.

But it was only the start of the pandemic when my race with time has really begun. Which is ironic, because when the restrictions were first announced in my country, I really saw a lot of opportunity in them to grow for myself (and I mean this is in the least "this deadly virus is a blessing in disguise" way possible). University moving online and social gatherings being nothing short of illegal all of a sudden felt more than convenient for my social (but very luckily not health) anxiety ridden brain, and I had imagined this was going to be the most prosperous phase in my life, in terms of moving forward with my goals.

Ever since I was little, I had dreamed of becoming a musical artist. No one ever encouraged me - maybe for a good reason - and I tried to keep quiet about it as well. I was so ashamed of desiring something that was so "unlike me" according to everyone who knew me. I never had a good voice and everyone perceived me as shy, on top of being seen as more of a "STEM girl" (until I went to high school for maths and ended up not understanding any of it anymore). I'd been writing lyrics into my phone since 14 and attempting to turn them into actual songs on my laptop since 17. At 18, I even took a beginner's course in Ableton. Still, I just never felt like anything I wrote was of any worth or that I had a single ounce of talent in any part of the process. But I kept on dreaming and pushing because I thought "if I don't try, how will I know?". My work ethic was awful too, I was an inconsistent writer and an even more inconsistent producer. I never got anything finished because I got lost in the details and gave up due to my perfectionism. Plus, and this is what I perceived to be the biggest problem at the time, I could only record music at home, and my family were home all the time. Moving out, I thought I was going to prosper, then I didn't prosper for a bit, told myself it was okay because uni was making me depressed, then I continued to not prosper, told myself it was okay because I had to rest up after exams. And then it's like the universe said "Stop. You're just making excuses. Stay home and produce those songs now because there will NOT be another opportunity like this".

I put so much pressure on myself then to get stuff done. It felt like my time - all my adolescence I was looking at teenage popstars rising to fame and each year they were just getting younger and all I did was compare myself to them and worry. Worry that I was running late, that no one was going to ever care about me because I am late, but growing up I excused it every time. I was home with my family and stressed because of school all the time, duh, how could I have made good art? But right there, at the beginning of "quarantining", it was just me and my willpower. No school, no job, no impromptu social plans. And who knew how long it was going to last? Some people said only four weeks, some others said months, some the rest of the year. All I knew was I was 19, still young and practically a teenager, and I had to act. And I did. I made two of the worst songs you've heard in your life and I put them both out in the summer under my own name. Like proper released them on streaming services and all. Looking back now, holy hell, how desperate was I, posting it on my social media that people I actually knew followed? With my fear of being ridiculed? I was setting myself up for an emotional disaster. Shock horror: my songs didn't blow up (although I have had a few friends say lovely things about them, at least to me). By the time of scheduling the second one for release (mid July) I was already feeling burnt out. Yes, there was another exam season in the meantime, and the unexpectedness of the elongated pandemic has definitely been a factor as well, but generally I was just so let down by the overall underwhelming experience. I made such bad decisions - why my own full name? Why did I have to let people know and thereby handicap myself? Of course I wasn't going to promote my songs now or even speak of them positively because I feared coming off ridiculous. So I just let the whole thing pass without a sound and made myself sad. By last August, I was back to "what now?".

Needless to say, there were no festivals last summer. Festivals used to be my ultimate summer happy place and I always celebrated my birthday at a specific one (the biggest one in my city to be exact) starting with the 15th. Concerts and festivals were somehow simultaneously an adventurous escape from all my worries and the root of a lot of my confidence issues and anxiety. I dreamed of being on stage and presenting my art to the world, pouring my heart out to even just one person who will listen, the same way that I listen to my favourite artists and what they have to say. Some nights were emotional, some nights were energising, some nights were spent worrying about the people who surrounded me and some nights were just pure jealousy and feeling far away from my goals - you never knew what you were going to get at a gig. I think that overall most gigs were bittersweet experiences for me, but that's how I liked them to be. The whole point was just to feel something. But there were no festivals last year. There were concerts, though, put on by local bands, but lord do I wish there hadn't been any. I went to two of those last summer - one I went to alone and walked away feeling like shit, another I went to with my friends and felt extremely guilty and anxious about the virus after. This second one happened to be two days before my 20th birthday. I spent my birthday worried to death that I got the virus (even though numbers were extremely low at the time in my country and going to small gigs was perfectly legal and deemed not dangerous) and that I was going to infect my elderly relatives who I was going to meet with later. That didn't happen, but I haven't been to a single show since then, and it's been a year. So that's how my first non-festival birthday worked out.

Turning 20 didn't feel good and my birthday aligned with the onset of a bunch of new problems as well as old ones accelerated. I began to think deeply about everything. What was the point of anything I was doing? Was any of it going to get me anywhere? Was any of it causing me joy, even? I didn't know what to do about my musical efforts - should I keep trying to put out songs or admit defeat? I still had that creative drive in me and I worried so much about my role in the world - "I'm not a good friend, not a good girlfriend and not a good daughter, and I certainly will never become a good psychologist directly helping people with their problems. I need to give something to the world - I need to find a purpose". I didn't do stuff because I was anxious, and then I was anxious because I didn't do stuff. But I think at that point I also realised I didn't only want to succeed and produce. I also wanted to live. Having fun was missing from my life too. I rarely saw or talked to friends and my relationship wasn't going well either. Every day I tortured myself looking at other people live their lives on social media and thinking to myself I wanted what they had. I wanted to be someone. I wanted to create, to connect and to matter, but all of these things have only ever caused me anxiety in my life and I didn't know where to go from there.

With the virus getting worse again and the start of another online semester, there was one silver lining to locking myself in again though. During the pandemic, I have been playing a lot of video games, possibly even more than before. They weren't only a nice way to numb my brain and relax - no, the opposite, they were actively giving me a temporary sense of direction and progress with each gaming session. I have always loved The Sims for this reason, I had spent so many years building and perfecting my little worlds to my liking and practicing full control over my characters' lives, but this time I began to feel like it was something bigger. I discovered the Sims side of the internet, something I had not really done before, and the amount of content, help, info and Sims-related entertainment has blown me away. Whole new levels of playing have been unlocked for me and I began to dive deeper than ever. I wanted to be part of the community, so in the autumn I started streaming the game on Twitch and this time I knew better than to tell anyone I already knew about it. That didn't quite turn out as I expected, and my streamer phase was cut short in January by someone I knew from high school accidentally finding my stream. Before that, I would only get moderately anxious before streams, not worried much about what viewers were going to think of me (if they find me annoying they'll just leave and I'll never have to hear from them again), but then that unexpected turn of events ruined everything in my head. All my confidence I had built up was suddenly gone. I never streamed again after that. It wasn't really for me anyway, I told myself.

Instead, insistent on further pursuing the only thing that was giving me joy at the time, I started my YouTube channel initially uploading Sims tutorials, because I thought I had useful stuff to show people that has a greater chance of making someone happy than just watching me try to put together a sentence for 5 minutes straight while my Sims struggle to get in the shower by themselves. And much to my surprise, it was gaining decent traction, although I put a lot of it down to luck even today. But either way, it's been growing more or less consistently ever since, and beginning of the summer I stopped to think "could I not just be doing this for a living now?". "Could this be my new creative ambition?". As much as I would have liked to say yes based on my progress and how I managed to earn the same amount I would have earned in a month at my part-time retail job (we're talking Eastern European sums kids!), it wasn't that simple. Thoughts around this have of course been puzzling me for months now. I like to think of myself as a natural talker, just because I am anxious I am NOT quiet or shy. I can even make small talk very well, it's just that because I'm mortified by the possibility of an awkward silence I tend to avoid situations where it might be required. And I talk to myself all the time. So on paper, talking to a camera should not be an issue. And yet every time I record a video I feel my soul being sucked out of my body because I need to make sure I say every sentence correctly and that ends up in draining 4 hour recording sessions. Editing videos, on the other hand, is a rewarding process, a kind of flow-experience I have not really known before, though extremely long and usually detrimental to my sleep schedule (which is far from being rosy by default). Maybe I just put too much effort into everything, but it really makes you question - is it worth it? Can I really be doing this on the long run without destroying myself? And will I ever get used to the social interactions that come with it?

It's weird, suddenly getting recognition for something, people giving me positive feedback on the daily. This certainly happened more suddenly than I thought it would and I don't think I was prepared. Naturally, people taking the effort to leave me nice comments and messages makes me want to reply, appreciate their kindness and return the favour but the trinity of little demons inside me - social anxiety, impostor syndrome and a chronically low self-esteem - makes this a difficult task to complete. To combat the overwhelming weight of responsibility that comes with making sure I appreciate everyone who appreciates me enough, as well as to shut out the fear that what I have now can be taken away from me any second, I have built up a mental wall between me and my relative success. This wasn't a conscious choice, it's just the way my brain has started dealing with this new situation. I do not allow myself to internalise the rewards of what I work so hard for and that contributes to why, when I look back on 2021 so far, all I see is depression despite having "gotten what I wanted". My YouTube channel has been the only thing bringing hope and the only thing I've got going for me and yet I am incapable of embracing it.

The past one year has been enlightening. It has enlightened me that there must be something deeply wrong with me because I have not been able to enjoy life even at times I had all the reasons to. The times I am capable of letting go and feeling happy for short periods come exactly based on that - short periods. I'm drifting into states of bliss only when I know the situation is temporary and doesn't come with commitment and responsibility. Some of these moments of calmness come to me while walking to the store by myself after dark, getting invested in my video games, meeting up with my friends for an evening every once in a while and writing a therapeutic song just for myself using the simplest chords on the piano. The feeling usually doesn't last and disappears at the first attempt to get back to any kind of organised schedule (that attempt on most days is the simple act of trying to force myself to go to bed). Isn't that ironic? I wanted purpose. I wanted to get it together. And yet... every day is a struggle. I know now, I am the problem. Whether it's a chemical imbalance or another anomaly in my brain or my own fault somehow, it's not my circumstances, it's me. I wanted to be free and to make my life my own, and now I just can't. Every day I worry about running out of time, rapidly approaching death and not being able to say that I have lived. This is why turning 21 fills me with so much panic. I am no longer a child and I'll never be again, although I wouldn't even like to be. I just can't help thinking that I wasted so many opportunities to enjoy myself and to push for my goals. But it's gone now and there's no point regretting how I used to think about life back then. If I look back on my life so far I see a lot of stuff that happened that made half of my brain temporarily happy, but the other half was always filled with anxiety, anticipation to get out or dissatisfaction. It was just never fully right and I keep hoping that there will come a time when it will feel fully right. Before turning 19, I thought independence was going to give me that. Now at 21, I'm not quite sure there's anything that's going to give me that if I don't also start to work through every single one of my issues (although part of me still likes to cling onto the idea that once I'm done with my first and last degree, a lot of underlying stress and guilt will be taken off my shoulders and I'll see everything in a different light). So for a start, I just finally signed up for psychological counselling. I don't know if it will help but it's something and I've done it for myself. I need to do more for myself.

There is so much more I could talk about. Like the pandemic, how I've turned into a hermit, my relationship, struggling to be honest with myself and slowly losing touch with my all time number one passion because of it. I could talk about how I know that society has been deliberately making us (especially women) feel scared of aging and yet I still file it under personal issues, how I've been trying to fix my sleep schedule for a year and a half straight now, the guilt I feel from my family and friends all the time, my inability to concentrate and how I fall into despair concerning the future and present of humanity every time I read the news and people's opinions on social media. I could talk about how I want to cry every time I see a picture of somewhere beautiful in the world - a street in Japan, a lake in the Alps or the trees in the Mediterranean - because I feel a longing that is almost nostalgic for places I've never even visited. There is always so much to still be told to complete the story, but why do I want people I'll never fully know to understand me that well? I need to let go of compulsions like these.

Deep down I just hope that I'm not the only one terrified of growing old.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Things Not There

Switch AU

A bit of a longer one, all from Schneep’s perspective. Things are tough for the boys right now, and Distorter decides to mess with the hero to make more stress for everyone because he’s awful like that. And Schneep decides not to tell anyone. Read to find out what happens! sahjdkljhk Anyway this one took a while but I really like it. Enjoy!

More of this AU found here

It seemed absurd that, with everything going the way it was, Schneep still had to go to work. But there was nothing he could do about it, so he got up in the morning, worked seven hours at the coffee shop Latte Lake, then came home around one o’clock.

“It’s me, I’m home,” he called, opening the front door of the apartment and strolling in.

Jackie was lounging on the sofa, scrolling mindlessly through something on his phone. He looked up. “Hey, Volt,” he said. “How were things?”

Schneep huffed. “Same as ever. How are things here?”

“Ehhhh...” Jackie looked back down at the phone screen. He was a bit...listless lately, but that was to be understood, what with things being how they were. “Are you going out again tonight?”

“Yes, of course,” Schneep says. He’d been going out every night for the past few days, ever since the kids disappeared. Gone out in costume, searching. Nothing, so far. Though he wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Distorter was difficult to find. In fact, they didn’t have any clue where he stayed or hid at all. So maybe the search was impossible, but damn if he was going to just let it happen.

“Hmm...” Jackie put his phone down and buried his face in one of the throw pillows.

“Do you need anything?” Schneep asked tentatively.

“No, I’m just tired.” Jackie’s voice was muffled. “Haven’t been sleeping well. Talking with Rama through FaceTime.”

“Ah. I see.” Schneep wondered if he would be able to hear that, if he was ever home before Jackie fell asleep. After all, his ‘bedroom’ only had a single wall separating it from the rest of the studio apartment. Any noise Jackie made from where he was sleeping on the couch was pretty audible. “Well anyways.” He draped his jacket across the back of the nearest chair and headed into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Just as he stepped inside, the alarm on his phone went off. “Ja, ja,” he muttered, switching it off. He knew what that meant. The bathroom was a bit smaller than the average one, but it was pretty good-sized for an apartment. He leaned over the counter and opened the medicine cabinet behind the mirror, taking out a small bottle. Idly, he opened it, only to freeze. Since when was it empty? He could have sworn he was good for the next two weeks.

He took his phone out of his pocket and dialed a number from his contacts. Bouncing in place, he listened to it ring on the other side until it was picked up. “Hello, Dr. Akela speaking.”

“Hello Malcolm?” Schneep said. “It is Henrik. I was just calling to check on if you could, ahhh, send me my next prescription now?”

“Now? Is something wrong?” Malcolm sounded puzzled.

“I just went to take it for today and my medication bottle is empty,” Schneep explained.

“What? Already? Hang on a second, I need to check something.” There was the sound of fabric rustling and keyboard tapping on the other line. Schneep waited patiently. After a while, Malcolm hummed. “Yeah, that should have lasted you a month. It’s only been two weeks.”

“That’s what I was thinking!” Schneep sighed in relief. He’d been worried for a moment there that he’d lost track of time. “I do not know why it’s empty, I’ve only taken one per day.”

“You’re sure it’s only one?” Malcolm asked. “And you haven’t lost any?”

“No, no I am sure.”

“That’s, uh...this is going to sound unprofessional, but if that’s really the case, then that’s weird,” Malcolm said. “I haven’t gotten in your next prescription yet, that was gonna happen on Friday.”

“A week from now?!” Schneep half-shouted.

“Hey, I know it’s frustrating, but there’s nothing I can do about it.” Malcolm paused. “Maybe ask your new roommate if he knows anything about what happened to it.”

Schneep bit back a laugh. Yeah, he was going to ask Jackie about this. Jackie didn’t even know he took medication, let alone what it was for. Still, he said, “Yes, sure.”

“Great. Can you swing by the office on Friday or should I mail it directly to you?”

“I can stop by. Goodbye, Malcolm.”

“See you on Friday.”

Schneep hung up the call, thinking. He really could’ve sworn he still had two weeks’ worth of medication left. What could’ve happened? He glanced around uneasily. Could someone have...done something? Who? Sure, Jackie had the means, but not the motive. He had a niggling feeling that a certain black-eyed smiling creature was behind it, but there was no proof...still, if anyone would want to tamper with this, it was him.

He tried to push the what-ifs away for now and concentrate on the facts. Friday was six days away. Symptoms would certainly be showing up by then, or at least growing into larger problems than just inconveniences. But they wouldn’t be unmanageable. Probably not. He could survive six days.

So he took a deep breath, and headed out of the bathroom.

“Hey have you talked to JJ recently?” Jackie asked.

“Huh?” Schneep startled. “Ah...not since we met up the day before last. Should I talk with him?”

“Maybe,” Jackie said. “I think he needs some cheering up. I would in that situation, you know?”

He nodded slowly. Yes of course. If he’d been injured in a trap by Distorter, unsure if he would ever be able to speak again, he would be feeling a little down, at the very least. Maybe he would text him. But at the same time, he thought that if he did, he’d just dump all his worries about the missing medication on him. After all, JJ and Marvin were the only people he’d told about his condition. And neither of them needed any more pressure right now. So maybe tomorrow, then, when things had settled down just a bit.

——————— 

Schneep had always preferred night to day. Which was partly why he usually went out on patrol after dark. It was also partly because he had work during the day, of course. Had to make time whenever he could.

He sat on the edge of a fire escape, staring up at the sky. Only a few stars could be seen—light pollution, of course—but the moon was bright and close. It was quite peaceful. He sighed, wishing he’d thought to bring a cup of coffee with him. But even if he had, he would have to make sure he was out of sight so he could take his mask off and drink it, and it might be more trouble than it was worth. Not for the first time, he regretted that he designed the suit with the mask covering his mouth. But it was too late now. Well, whatever. It was fine, and kept his face less recognizable.

Stretching, he stood up and jumped down to the street below, landing solidly as his specially-designed boots absorbed most of the impact. Recovering quickly, he headed out, continuing the same search he had the last few days, looking for any sign of the kids, Michelle and William. Of course the patrol wasn’t the only part of the search. He was also scouring the local news and Internet, keeping a devoted track of anything that could’ve been a sign of Distorter or the kids. But going out and actively looking around for anything odd was a key part of this. And he still had to keep a hold on any crime, of course. Though luckily, it had been quiet lately.

There wasn’t anyone out on the streets right now. His eyes darted about, looking for anything odd.

“Hellooooo!”

Schneep gasped, and whirled around. No, it couldn’t be that easy. But it was. Distorter was standing in front of him, right in the middle of the sidewalk. His ever-present grin seemed more genuinely cheerful than usual, and that made him uneasy. He immediately raised his hands, fists clenched.

Distorter laughed. “No, calm down, I’m not here for a fight today.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Schneep growled. The last time he’d run into Distorter out on his own, the creature had stabbed him with some poison blade, almost killing him, and took Jackie in the resulting chaos. And now he’d taken others...“Where are the kids, you motherfucker?!”

“Not here to talk about that, either, but if it’ll help you feel better, they’re fine,” Distorter said. “They’re safe! What kind of monster do you think I am, to hurt kids?”

Schneep didn’t respond to that. He wasn’t about to trust anything he said. Instead, his eyes scanned Distorter up and down, trying to anticipate an attack.

“On edge, huh? Wonder why that is.” Distorter held up his hand, fingers clenched into a fist. “Could it be because of...this?” He opened his hands, and a few small white things fell, dropping onto the ground.

“What do you—” His eyes widened. No, he’d recognize that anywhere. “I knew it!” He lunged forward.

“Nope!” Distorter laughed, and before Schneep even got close, he threw a fistful of the pills—because that’s what they were, of course—into the nearest storm drain. Schneep stumbled to a stop, gaping. He looked down, seeing a few left on the sidewalk below. Before he could even think about if it was embarrassing to do so, he fell to the ground and scrambled about to try and pick up the pills left. Only for them to fade away, mere illusions. Distorter laughed harder. “Wonder what others would say to see that. It’s hilarious. Aren’t you supposed to be a self-proclaimed hero? Crawling on the ground?”

Schneep shot up and swung a fist. It connected with Distoter’s chin with a crack! and a discharge of electricity, making him stagger backwards. He honestly hadn’t expected it to make contact, so he stumbled as well. “Son of a bitch,” he growled. “Why?! What did you do with them?!”

“Your pills? Uh, I just threw it in the sewer, thought that was obvious.” Distorter rolled his shoulders in what could have been a shrug, but it was a bit too...flexible. “And as for why? Well, you’re alive, unfortunately. So I’ve decided to stop trying for the moment. And instead of killing you, what if I just make you as miserable as possible?” His grinned widened. “How long would it take for you to give up?”

For a moment, Schneep was speechless. Then, he laughed. “You think that anything you could do would wear me down? You are wrong! So fucking wrong! I have lived through worse than what you can do to me!”

“Hmmm are you sure?” Distorter tapped his fingernails on his arm. “Why are you so concerned about the others knowing, then?”

Schneep stiffened. “I...I am not going into details with you.”

“It’s because you’re scared.” Distorter took a step forward. The air seemed to shiver around him, making it hard to focus on him. “Scared of what they’ll think of you. You know how most people react hearing about this condition of yours, hmm? You’ve experienced it enough times. The last thing you want is for your friends to think of you that way, think of you as out of control or even dangerous.” He laughed. “It’ll be harder for you to keep it from them now, won’t it? Now that dear Jackie is staying with you. I wonder—”

“Shut the fuck up!” He tried to swing another punch, but the world shimmered and shifted, and Distorter was now standing to his left, watching him stumble. He regained his balance, then whirled on him. “They would not care. They are different.”

“Then why haven’t you said anything yet?” Distorter tilted his head. “It’s been, what, five years since you met them? Plenty of opportunities.”

And despite his desire to shout at Distorter, to profess his trust in his friends, Schneep still hesitated.

“Exactly.” Distorter giggled a bit, and then disappeared. Schneep balked for a second, but of course it was another illusion. Distorter’s voice still echoed from the same spot. “Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say. Good luck for the next...six days, was it? I’ll be watching.”

For a long moment, Schneep kept standing there. He knew that he should probably be trying to follow Distorter, finding out where he lived—or...lurked, or whatever—and where he’d taken the kids. But he was just frozen.

Eventually, he pushed it out of his mind. Distorter was messing with him, as he was messing with all of them. He wouldn’t let him get to him. It was just six days. It would be fine. And with that, he continued on.

——————— 

He went to work again the next morning, because he, unfortunately, needed money. And just like the previous day, he entered the apartment, announcing “It’s me, I’m home.”

Jackie was on the phone. He waved at Schneep as he entered, then returned to whatever conversation he was having. “No, I can’t think of anyone. You already asked Rama, right?” He paused. “Well...yes, it’s a possibility. But the, um...other thing is also a possibility.”

Schneep paused, listening curiously for a moment. Then the alarm on his phone went off. He swore softly, hurrying to turn it off. For some reason, even though he’d scheduled it for the same time every day after work, he hadn’t been expecting it. Giving Jackie an apologetic look, he headed over to the kitchen area and grabbed a bag of pretzels.

“Alright, let me know, of course,” Jackie said. “Yeah. Yeah. Okay, goodbye.” He hung up, and sighed.

“What was that?” Schneep asked, curious.

“It was one of those detectives, Kikelomo,” Jackie explained. “I told you those two were assigned to Michelle and William’s case, right?”

“Yes.”

“She was wondering if there was anyone who, uh...didn’t like me, I guess? She explained it like having any enemies, but I dunno, that’s a strong word.” He paused. “You know...because there’s no sign of who we know actually took them, so the police are looking for other possible leads.”

“Hmm.” Schneep nodded silently, opening up the bag of pretzels. “I...unfortunately, I have not found anything.”

“I don’t expect you to,” Jackie said softly. “I think...I think that we must start looking in that...place. But to be honest, I...don’t even know where that is.”

Schneep paused. “The...place where he kept you?”

Jackie nodded. “I don’t remember getting there. And when I finally got out, I was...wasn’t really paying attention to where I was. So I have no idea where...you know.”

“What about...that Stacy lady?” Schneep asked. “She found you, so wherever that was, it was probably nearby to that place.”

Jackie looked over at him, eyes wide. “I...hadn’t even thought of that. I-I guess I could ask her where that was. But how would I bring that up?”

“Just ask, it will be fine,” Schneep said reassuringly. “Or if you want, one of us could ask her.”

“No, I can do it. God, why haven’t any of us thought of that before?”

Schneep shrugged. Jackie looked down, and he recognized the way his eyes were starting to glaze over. Quickly, he changed the subject. “Do you want a pretzel?”

Jackie laughed. “Yeah, sure.”

———————

Things started to go downhill on the second day after losing his medication. At work, he snapped at his coworker Jennifer to stop whispering to herself, it was very distracting. Jennifer had been startled, and denied any whispering. Hearing that, Schneep’s heart sunk, pulled down with dreadful anticipation. Already? He thought it would be another couple days...Though if the symptoms were manifesting now, it could possibly explain the listless feeling he’d had that morning, which had been dragging at him throughout his shift.

He tried not to show how shaken he was once coming home, and Jackie didn’t seem to notice. So he prepared to go out that night again, as normal.

Luckily, it was another uneventful night. Because he wasn’t sure how much he’d be able to concentrate on stopping any crime with the constant background noise that he couldn’t escape. He could barely make himself patrol, and found nothing in his search.

He was tired. Not physically, though he knew his sleep schedule had much to be desired. No, this was a mental sort of worn-down, and he just knew it would get worse throughout the next few days.

———————

He had a day off, and naturally ended up sleeping in. But he woke up to the sound of people talking. What was it, a whole crowd? Or was he even really hearing it? He stood up, stretched, and peeked around the wall separating his sleeping area from the front room. “Oh. Hello, Anti.”

Anti and Jackie were sitting and talking, Jackie on the sofa and Anti curled up on a chair nearby. “Hey Volt,” Anti said, waving.

“Oh, was I not supposed to let him in?” Jackie asked, a note of anxiety in his voice. “He just showed up at the door—wait, we woke you up didn’t we? Sorry, super sorry.”

“Is fine, you didn’t wake me up,” Schneep assured him, even though they really did. “What are you doing here, Anti?”

“Thought I’d stop by,” Anti shrugged. He didn’t look too good, in all honesty, with dark bags under his eyes and wearing wrinkled clothes. “I dunno. Anyway, Sam is here, too, because they won’t leave me alone.” A green eyeball popped up into the air, bouncing a couple times.

“Ah!” Schneep jumped a bit, taking a few steps back.

“You okay?” Jackie asked.

“Yes, that just...startled me, that is all.” Schneep let out a breath. “Anyway. You two keep going, talking about...whatever you were talking about.” He headed over to the kitchen area, getting ready to start the coffeemaker.

Jackie hesitated. “Well...we were just talking about the kids,” he said carefully. “Nothing...serious, just...talking about them.”

“Oh.” Schneep blinked. “Yes, that...makes sense. I suppose that is what most parents do.”

“If you had kids, would you want to talk about them?” Jackie asked.

“I...probably, yes.” Schneep hadn’t really thought of it before. He liked kids, yes, but he wasn’t really looking for them yet. He didn’t even have a partner. Well, he’d leave them to it. He turned on the coffeemaker, letting the sound fill the room. And he leaned a bit closer. The noise was drowning out the wordless conversation going on in the background of his head. That was...worrying, that he was hearing that. He’d have to tell Dr. Akela about that.

“Volt!”

He gasped and straightened. “Ah—yes, yes? I am here?”

“God, you must be pretty tired,” Anti said. “We’ve been trying to talk to you for like five minutes. Your coffee’s done.”

Schneep looked over at the coffeemaker and realized it was no longer making noise. When had that happened? “Ah. Thank you.”

Anti narrowed his eyes. “You know I can leave or something if you want to go back to sleep.”

“No, it is fine, I insist.” Schneep grabbed a mug from the nearest cupboard, and was about to pour the coffee in when a sudden glowing green orb shoved itself into his face. “Aack! Sam!” He carefully batted them away. “What is wrong with you?” They stayed around his head, shoving against his cheek like a pet begging for attention. “Anti, control your...strange...eyeball...pet.”

“Hey, they’re not mine!” Anti protested. “And they’re a lot smarter than a pet! I think. I dunno, I never really had a proper pet.”

“Really? Not even as a kid?” Jackie asked.

“Not a real one,” Anti emphasized. “I tried to kidnap a couple of birds as pets, some squirrels, a badger once—that was a bad idea.”

“Jesus, didn’t your mom ever say no?” Jackie said, shocked.

“Nah, she didn’t really care,” Anti leaned back against the chair. “I’d go out into the woods around town and just bring back animals and as long as they didn’t destroy anything, she didn’t care. Didn’t really care about much at all, really.” Suddenly, he stiffened, clamping his mouth shut. He reached into his jacket pocket, where he seemed to be grabbing something. A pocket knife, most likely, knowing him.

“My parents would have murdered me if I brought any animal home,” Schneep muttered. “Always on about keeping the carpets clean. And looking presentable.” There was a distinct note of bitterness in his voice as he continued. “All the image, all the time. Always their word the end of everything, because clearly they knew what was best. Do not even bother to ask.” He finished pouring the coffee, taking a sip of the hot, hot liquid. Honestly, he was glad they had no idea where he was. Not like they were actually upset when he first left. It was more about the idea of having their son get away than it was about his well being.

Jackie looked between the two of them, eyes sympathetic but saying nothing. “Well...Rama was thinking about getting a dog or something,” he said after a moment. “After Michelle...gets back, we were thinking we’d go adopt one.”

“Big dog?” Anti asked.

“Dunno.”

“You’d probably want an energetic one, to keep up with her. Google good family dogs, or something.”

“Jackie if you get a big dog I am never coming over to your house again,” Schneep warned. “You are on thin ice for getting a dog of any kind.”

“Aw, Volt, I’m sure if you spend time around some dogs, they won’t be as scary,” Jackie said.

“Yeah sure, fine. I will spend time with your new dog. Watching it. From the other side of the room.” Still, Schneep couldn’t help but chuckle. “Get one that is good with cats, too, then Marvin’s cat can be friends with it.”

The conversation continued for a few more minutes before Anti decided he wanted to leave. Sam followed, of course, seemingly attached to him. And by then, Schneep had almost forgotten about the noise in his head. Almost. He appreciated the distraction, at least.

———————

“Jackie, please stop hovering!” Schneep snapped, whirling his desk chair around so he could face the shadow peering over his shoulder. “You are like a helicopter!”

“Uh...what?” Jackie’s voice didn’t come from the figure’s location. Instead, the bathroom door opened, and Jackie poked his head out. “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.”

Schneep visibly paled. “Um...never mind, it is nothing.”

“You said my name, though?” Jackie turned the statement into a question in his confusion.

“No, never mind, go back to...what you were doing. What were you doing?”

Jackie blinked. “I was...going to try to take a shower. I told you that. About two minutes ago. Didn’t you hear me?”

“Oh, uh...no. Sorry.” Schneep looked down, embarrassed.

“Right. Well, uh...I’m gonna try to take a shower. You might want to check on me in, like, ten minutes. Just in case.” He swung the door closed again.

Schneep breathed out, shakily. It was definitely getting worse. Though he now knew Jackie was in the bathroom, and could hear the faint trickling of water (Jackie rarely ever turned the water up to a high pressure), he could also swear there was another version of him, standing behind his shoulder. He could see the familiar figure, though if he tried to look at it directly, it would always stay in the corner of his vision.

It was fine. Just a couple more days. He swiveled back around, facing his computer, where he was...well, he didn’t really know. Just mindlessly refreshing a few different websites. He didn’t want to do anything in particular.

The figure in the corner of his vision seemed to move closer. But he ignored it. Even though his instincts told him there was someone standing right behind him, face close to him, he knew it wasn’t real, and therefore, wasn’t to be acknowledged.

“Stop ignoring me.”

Schneep bit back a shriek as he shot to his feet, whirling around. Familiar laughter echoed through the room, going from one corner to the next. He slowly edged along the wall. The figure still stood by his desk chair, but he didn’t look at it. But maybe he should. Because what if it was really...?

Something appeared, sitting on his kitchen table. He jumped, whirling on it, only for it to immediately disappear. “This is so easy,” the familiar voice said, sounding delighted. “I’m barely putting any effort into my illusions! Can you just stop taking those pills altogether? It would make things much less difficult for me.”

“Shut up,” Schneep hissed. “Shut up shut up shut up shut up—”

And again, laughter. It multiplied upon itself, layers and layers of laughing, and he knew it was laughing at him. He couldn’t help but shrink back against the wall. The figure from before walked up towards him, staying just in his peripheral. And there was another one coming from the other side. He grabbed a pen from his desk and threw it towards the second one, to make sure it was really there. It looked like it passed right through, but was that...really happening?

“Can’t trust your eyes, can you?” Shadows crawled down the walls. “Am I even here right now? Well, you just don’t know.”

There were more figures. They were starting to fill the room. His head twisted on a pivot to try and keep an eye on them—or look away from them—or try to see which ones are there—or something! They looked like his friends. But their eyes were black, bleeding, just like Distorter’s. He had to be here, right? That had to be why he was seeing things in such great numbers.

He sank to the ground, starting to hyperventilate. The shadows on the wall were warping, distorting. He tried to move, staying close to the wall. But he had no idea where he was in the room. Was he even moving at all?

The shadows kept moving, twisting, forming faces and shapes before fading away. He tried not to look at them. Where was the room’s door? Maybe if he left the apartment, this would end—

Something touched him.

He reacted instinctively, lunging forward blindly. Hitting something solid, he tackled it to the ground. Grabbing in a panic, rolling across the ground, he wondered if he should strike, because this was something, something, it had to be Distorter, he was here mocking him—more laughter!—and that had to be stopped, he’d shake it out of him, he had to stop this!

“...Hen...Henrik, it’s me.”

Schneep blinked, and suddenly things seemed clearer without the sudden, intense feelings. It wasn’t Distorter, it was just...Jackie. He’d pinned Jackie to the ground, one hand balled in his hoodie, the other wrapped around one of his wrists. And Jackie stared at him, wide-eyed but otherwise strangely calm. Missing his glasses, and with wet hair from the shower. The shadows on the walls aren’t there anymore, neither are most of the figures. There was nothing really there.

Gasping, he pulled back, standing up. “Jackie! I-I am so sorry, did I hurt you? Oh mein god, I did, I am sorry, sorry, I—”

“I’m fine, Volt,” Jackie said softly, sitting up. “Are...are you?”

“Am I?”

“You were...on the floor, crawling around.” Jackie explained. “I think you were saying something? I don’t know, it might’ve been in German. I just wanted to check on you, but you didn’t say anything when I talked to you, so I thought I could...I dunno. Just that contact would help. But you, uh...freaked out.”

Schneep felt his heart sink with every new word. He took a few steps away from Jackie, shaking his head slightly.

“You...so anyway, are you okay?” Jackie repeated. He reached out, then stopped and pulled back.

“I...am fine,” Schneep said slowly. Unconvincingly.

“Are you sure?”

“I do not want to talk about it.” His tone was firm.

“A-ah—right.” Jackie backed up. “Well, I’m...gonna sit down for a bit.” And he wandered over to the sofa, sat down, closing his eyes. He didn’t move.

Schneep hurried over to the bedroom area. He didn’t want to say he was hiding behind the wall, but there was no other way to describe it. What he’d just done—it was an accident! It was. But that didn’t matter. Jackie was wary of him, he could tell. Unnerved. Freaked out. Scared. Of him. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he buried his face in his hands. One of his best friends was scared of him. 

It was only a matter of time. Soon they’d all think he was dangerous, that he would lash out at any minute. It was an accident! But that excuse never helped. They’d find out what was really going on with him, and then they would say, that explains everything! The last thing he ever, ever wanted was to hurt people, much less his friends. And he couldn’t bear the thought that they’d think he would. But it would happen. They would think the worst of him.

He stayed in the bedroom area for the rest of the day. Jackie never came to check on him.

———————

Thursday morning, he woke up early. He didn’t mean to. It was just that he usually worked this day, so of course his alarm was set and he’d forgotten to turn it off. Even though he’d called in to work and gotten someone else to cover his shift because he just couldn’t handle working with people right now. Groaning, he slapped the button on his phone to stop the annoyingly cheerful jingle. But now he was up. And unlike most people, he was never able to get back to sleep after being awoken by something.

He stared up at the ceiling. The patterns in the plaster shifted into eyes. Watching him.

Shivering, he got out of bed and started to get dressed as quietly as possible. He didn’t want to wake up Jackie, sleeping on the sofa. God...recently he’d been wishing he’d gotten a different style of apartment, one with more...rooms. There wasn’t a lot of privacy in the studio design. Which hadn’t been a problem until Jackie came to stay.

Jackie, luckily, wasn’t awake. They hadn’t...interacted much since that incident.

Schneep stared at him for a while. Then, before he even knew what he was doing, he was leaving the apartment. Heading down to the bus stop. Not getting onto the line he’d take to work, but instead a different one, that would take him to the east side of the city.

It was still some walk to get to where he was going. He still wasn’t exactly sure why he was going there, he just knew that he needed...something.

Soon, he was knocking on a door, bouncing in place while he waited. Slow footsteps on the other side, and then it opened. “Oh hello—no, Mister, stay away from the door! Go back!—hello, Henrik. Anyt’ing I can do for you?” Marvin smiled.

“Hello, Marvin.” Schneep tried to smile. It didn’t work. “Um...may I come inside?”

“O’course.” Marvin stood to the side as Schneep brushed past him, quickly shutting the door behind him as Mr. Fluffington walked up close. “No. No cats outside, Mister.” He waved his cane in the cat’s general direction, and Fluffington responded by trotting away and weaving around Schneep’s legs. “Anyway, y’need somet’ing?”

“I just...” Schneep took a deep breath. “Am having trouble. Lately. With certain...things.”

He didn’t have to explain anything else. Marvin looked confused for a moment, but then nodded. “Well, y’can stay here for a while, I s’pose. Jems is in the parlor if you want t’talk to him.”

Schneep nodded, and ducked inside the other room. JJ was sitting on the sofa, leaning on an arm and scrolling through his phone. Upon hearing the footsteps, he looked up, surprised. Then he picked up a nearby pen and notebook and wrote down. Oh hello Volt. It’s nice to see you! Do you need anything?

“I...need to just...” Another deep breath. “My medication. It...ran out. Unexpectedly. Last week.” He paused. “Can I just...stay with the two of you?”

JJ’s eyes widened, and he glanced over at Marvin standing in the doorway. Yes, of course, he wrote. Is there anything else?

“No, it is fine.” Schneep sat down on the sofa next to Jameson, leaning back and closing his eyes. “Just some time, please.”

The two of them seemed to understand. And so some time passed in silence. It was...comfortable. Staying in the living room while JJ looked through his phone and Marvin read in his usual armchair. After a while Mr. Flufflington jumped onto Schneep’s lap and promptly fell asleep, preventing him from leaving even if he wanted to.

But soon, Schneep felt his phone start to buzz in his pocket. He didn’t look at it, not wanting to ruin the moment. Yet it kept buzzing.

Ding! A text tone went off. Schneep jumped and looked around, unsure if he really heard that or if it was just part of the noise. But then he saw Jameson typing something out and shrugged it off. Until Jameson gave him an odd look. And then a couple more as he continued the text conversation. After a while, he put the phone down and picked up the notebook, writing, Jackie was wondering where you were. Apparently you aren’t responding to his messages.

“Oh.” Schneep squirmed, though that soon got an upset look from Fluffington, so he stopped. “Well...my phone is in my pocket. And there is a cat here.”

Well I told him you were here, and he’s coming over.

“What?!” The sudden startled motion definitely dislodged Fluffington, who jumped off and walked away. “Oh no, sorry kitty!” Schneep looked at JJ. “Why did you say that?!”

He was worried, Jameson explained. He thought you-know-who was behind it. So now he’s coming by, and Anti said he might come too because apparently Jackie sent him a few freaked-out messages before he texted me.

Schneep looked down. Jackie was going to be so upset, knowing he made him worry over nothing. Well, no way to avoid it.

It seemed like only a few minutes later when the doorbell rang. Marvin got up to get it again. Schneep tried to sink further into the sofa cushions, and JJ put a hand on his leg as a show of support. Soon Jackie came bursting into the room. “Henrik! What happened?! Why’d you leave?! I mean I don’t mind if you have somewhere to go but usually you tell me. Is something wrong?”

Anti and Marvin appeared behind him. “Y’know I think something is wrong,” Anti muttered. “Volt, you look like a kid heading to detention after school. What happened?”

Schneep was talking before he was even fully aware of it. “Jackie, I am so sorry, I made you worry for nothing, I do not even know why I came here, probably because these two already know, which would make it easier, and also they have a cat and that makes a lot better, but now I made you worry about nothing and I know I am a bad friend but I promise I would not hurt you ever, I really do, anyway I was on autopilot walking here, feeling sort of out of all sorts of energy and I don’t know, I thought it would help maybe—”

“Jesus fuck, man,” Anti said. “Slow down and breathe, maybe.”

“What are you talking about?” Jackie asked. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me. Is...is this still about the thing that happened yesterday?”

“It is not me!” Schneep stood up. “I promise you, this is not an indication of who I really am, you know who I am, I have not been hiding anything from you—well, yes, I have, but nothing that is any big indication of who I am, it is just that I ran out, and that changes things—”

“Ran out of what?” Jackie asked, baffled.

“My medication!” Schneep blurted out. “I take—it is called Zyprexa, or something like that, I cannot quite remember right now. I will have to ask Malcolm when I see him tomorrow, or I could just check the labelling—”

“Henrik, please, slow down,” Jackie said, laughing a bit. “I can’t keep up. You take something? I didn’t know that. But there’s nothing wrong with that, you know I do, too. And JJ does, right?” He glanced over at JJ, who nodded. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“It is different,” Schneep insisted. “Yours are to regulate your focus and such, this is...it is different.”

Jackie frowned. “It can’t be that different?”

“Uhh...” Anti coughed awkwardly. “I mean, not in principle, but I get the feeling this is...I don’t want to say ‘different’ again cause the two of you have said that enough.” He paused. “Zyprexa is an antipsychotic, and so it, you know, has different effects than your guys’ Dexedrine and Adderall and—”

“Anti, how do you know what I take?” Jackie asked.

“That’s beside the point,” Anti hurriedly said. “The point is that...Schneep is trying to say something.”

Schneep felt his breath shake, coming out shorter. “I—I—I—” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I cannot. Marvin, Jamie, I told you, you tell them.”

“Are you sure?” Marvin asked. He waited for Schneep to nod. “Well...if you know for sure.” And he turned to Jackie and Anti. “Henrik talked to me one day, I t’ink it was last winter. He said he...has a condition. And t’at he sometimes sees t’ings. Not real t’ings, just...in his head. I s’pose there are other symptoms, too.”

Jackie’s eyes slowly widened. His mouth formed a small O shape. Anti didn’t say anything.

Schneep opened his eyes. “I...could not say anything to you two,” he said slowly. “It is different with these ones, I thought...thought Marvin would understand, which he has. And Jamie just stumbled upon it, really. But I was not so bothered, I think, because I have not known them for so long.” Tears started to build. “You two—I-I care for you very much and—and now that you think the worst of me—”

“Wait, what the fuck?!” Anti burst in. “No! I don’t think the worst of you, what the hell?”

“I know how it is,” Schneep mumbled. “People always think, ‘you have this thing, you are dangerous.’ I am a little odd, perhaps, but I would never, ever—”

“Volt, for fuck’s sake.” Anti sounded exasperated, but not in a bad way. “First off, the stigma around psychosis is stupid. Always has been. I blame poorly-researched movies and shit. Second of all, that doesn’t change who you are. You are our friend.”

“But yesterday, I—Jackie, I—”

“That’s why you freaked out,” Jackie whispered. “You were—were seeing things that weren’t there.”

“I did not mean to hurt you,” Schneep said desperately. “And I am so, so sorry, I-I thought—” The tears were actively flowing now. “It was that Distorter, he took it to mess with me—a-and he might have been there, making it worse with his—his fucking illusions—I do not know, I can never tell if he is really there or if I am just—I am sorry—”

Jackie stepped forward and wrapped him in a tight hug.

All words left him. Schneep’s mind went blank. This was not...not what he was expecting at all.

“No, I’m sorry,” Jackie said. “I’m sorry you have to go through this. That you thought I would be anything but one hundred percent supportive. I am so sorry you felt like you had to hide this. You’re one of my best friends, Henrik. I’ll always be here for you.”

His breath hitched in his throat. “But...yes-yesterday, I must have scared you—”

“I won’t lie, I was a bit shocked,” Jackie said, laughing a bit. “But it was a mistake, Hen. I know this. And I forgive you for it. The circumstances weren’t exactly under your control.”

And with that, Schneep absolutely melted into the hug, now sobbing. For so long, he’d kept this to himself. Afraid of what would happen. How they would react. But now, seeing the two of them showing nothing but love and support...he couldn’t handle it.

The others crowded in closer. Jameson and Marvin joined in the hug. Anti opted for just putting a hand on Schneep’s shoulder, but it was essentially his equivalent of a hug. Schneep wasn’t sure how long they stayed there. A few minutes at least. Of course, it couldn’t last forever. Eventually they all pulled away, Marvin handed Schneep a handkerchief, and they moved on.

“Do you feel comfortable sharing details?” Anti asked tentatively. “Or is that too much too soon?”

“Well...” Schneep hesitated. “It feels like...disorienting, much of the time. Thoughts racing, but at the same time, I am very tired. It used to be I could not get out of bed for a few days at a time, then became very active. And of course, there are things and ideas that are not there. Very...unpleasant.”

“Should we, like, do anything for you?” Jackie asked. “Like, do you want us to help?”

“I...have heard a thing about taking a picture of something,” Schneep said slowly. “And sending it to others to see if it is really there.”

Anti suddenly slapped his own forehead. “That’s what you told me to do with Sam! Then you said it was a mean joke when I sent the picture of them! That’s how you knew to do it!”

“Yes,” Schneep said. “Anyway, I may do that sometimes. Usually I am better at telling the difference, but Distorter...his powers are just more hallucinations.”

“Oh my god.” Jackie covered his mouth. “I hadn’t even considered...that must be scary, Hen, I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you, Jackie.” Schneep smiled softly. “Ah...actually, there is another thing. Tomorrow the refill is supposed to come in. I have to go over to my therapist’s office to get it. Could one of you...drive me?”

“I could,” Jackie offered.

And I could if that doesn’t work out, JJ added. By the way, do you still want to stay here for a while longer?

“I...if we all could,” Schneep said.

Everyone smiled, and assured him they’d stay. Jackie leaned close and said gently, “Hey. It’s going to be okay.”

And Schneep believed him.

[gaylovecant]

through the eye of the needle

my take on what should have happened at the end of 15x19 

Castiel/Dean Winchester, 7880 words, T

Click here to read on ao3

“Of course I’m coming home with you. We still need to get Cas back!”

Dean lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Even with all the excitement, losing Cas was a heavy weight on his heart. Especially after what he said...

“That’s great,” Sam interrupts Dean’s thought process. “How do we get him back?”

“I’m not sure,” Jack furrows his eyebrows for a moment before smiling wide. “But if Chuck could do it, so can I.”

“You’re sure, Jack?” Dean didn’t know if he could handle false hope right now.

“Yes! I’m sure. I think we need to go back to where he was when the Empty took him.”

With that, the three of them pile into the Impala for what would hopefully be their last mission.

~~~~~~~~

Sam manages to get a hold of Eileen on the drive back. She was safe and happy and would be meeting them at the bunker as soon as she could.

Dean watches as the tension drains from Sam’s body, slumping into his seat.

Jack was passed out in the back. Apparently having god-like powers didn’t stop him from needing rest. But it had been a long day for all of them.

Looking at Jack made Dean yawn, which Sam automatically caught.

“Let me drive for a bit, man. You need to catch some sleep.”

“I’m fine, honestly Sam. I just want to get back to the bunker.” Despite feeling tired, there was no way in hell Dean would be able to sleep before they got Cas back.

“Is this about Cas? Because Jack says he’ll be-“

“Can you just leave it, Sammy?” Dean snaps. He wasn’t sure where that came from. They won. But without Cas, Dean still felt empty and hollow.

“I get it, he’s my friend, too.”

“No, you don’t,” Dean says through gritted teeth. Sam lets out a sigh.

“Dean, if this is you feeling guilty about whatever happened to him, it’s not your fault.” A humourless laugh escapes Dean, and he feels pressure creeping up his throat and behind his eyes.

“It is,” He says in a whisper. “And that’s why I need to get him back, Sammy, I have to.” Dean trails off.

Sam seemed to realize that pushing would only make things worse, so he backed off and dozed in the passenger seat.

As the only one still awake, Dean let a few tears fall before pulling himself together. They needed to get Cas back and that couldn’t happen if he crashed the car because he couldn’t see.

~~~~~~~~

When they got to the bunker, Eileen was already there, waiting in the War Room. Dean watched as Sam swept her into a kiss, before quickly looking away, feeling something sharp wedge itself between his ribs.

“I thought you were dead,” Sam signs, not able to get the words out vocally.

“I’m alive. I’m here.” She signs back, before pulling Sam back for another kiss. They pull apart just enough to rest their foreheads together, just breathing each other in.

Dean doesn’t want to interrupt their moment, but Jack seems hyper and energized after his nap which means it’s probably a good time to try to get Cas back.

Sam and Eileen pull apart when they hear Dean clear his throat. Eileen squeezes Sam’s hand before rushing towards Dean and Jack, wrapping them into a hug. For such a small lady, her grip was bone-crushing.

“I’m so happy you’re alive,” She says, stepping back from them.

“Yeah, you too. I was worried about what would happen to Sam without you.” Dean only mouths the second part but Eileen smiles and nods.

“So, what happened?”

“It’s a long story. All you need to know right now is that Chuck is powerless and Jack brought everyone back.”

“Good job, kid,” Eileen says, making Jack smile and blush.

“Thanks, but now we need to get Cas back. Where was he when the Empty took him?”

Dead leads the way with Jack, Sam, and Eileen falling behind them.

“I don’t want to pry,” Jack starts. “But I was with Cas when he made the deal.”

Dean feels his cheeks heat. It was too much to talk about right now. He still didn’t know if they would get Cas back.

“Can we talk about this later?” Dean wills his voice to remain steady.

“Of course... Sorry.” Despite himself, Dean feels a small smile creep onto his face.

“It’s okay kid, you have nothing to be sorry about.”

When they enter the room where everything had gone down, Dean feels his knees buckle. Cas’ blood was still on the door, dried and flaky. The pressure in his throat was making a return, but he pushed through it, leading Jack to the wall the Empty had appeared from to take Cas.

Jack laid his palm against the cement wall.

“I can feel it. There’s... a tear between our world and the Empty. I just have to find the gap and I should be able to open it enough to let Cas back through.” Jack closed his eyes as he ran his hand across the cool stones, inspecting for the space he could pry open.

“I know you’re basically God now, but doesn’t that seem a little too easy?” Dean was still skeptical, even though he was shaking with anticipation at seeing Cas again.

“Come on, Dean. Maybe for once, things will be easy.” Sam was hanging back with Eileen, both of them watching the scene with hope in their eyes.

“No, Dean is right. Just opening the door doesn’t mean that Cas will be here waiting to get out. The Empty is massive and he could be anywhere. And he could be sleeping this time.” Jack explains.

“So he might not even know we’re trying to save him?” Dean could feel tendrils of dread swirling through his stomach and making their way up to his heart.

“Yes. That’s why someone needs to go in and get him.”

Three pairs of eyes were trained on Jack, reeling at what he just said.

“Jack, that’s suicide. We could get lost-“

“I’ll do it.” Dean interrupts Sam.

“Dean-“

“I said I’m going in. I’m going to get Cas back. Right?” Dean looked at Jack for confirmation.

“It could work. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold it open, the Empty won’t be happy to see me again. But if you’re quick...” Jack’s eyes widened and a thin trail of darkness began pouring out from a crack in the wall.

Dean and Jack make eye contact, green meeting bright gold, and Jack nodded. Pulling even harder, Jack managed to open the hole wide enough that a person could slip through.

Dean didn’t wait before jumping through, hearing Sam yell, “Dean, wait-“ before the silence consumed him. Turning around, Dean could see Sam and Jack and Eileen in the Bunker through the hole, but it was distorted. He felt like he was underwater.

Remembering his mission, Dean began calling out Cas’ name. The sound echoed through the empty space.

“Cas!” He yelled.

“Cas!” The echo replied, mocking him. Dean swung his head around, scanning the area for Cas, but all he could see, for miles and miles, was nothing.

Dean didn’t know how long he had been searching, time seemed to pass differently here, but when he turned around he could still see the glimmering doorway back into his world. It didn’t really matter though, because if he couldn’t find Cas, Dean didn’t know if he would be able to go back anyways.

Becoming desperate, Dean frantically began praying as he ran, squinting against the darkness. Cas you sonofabitch! If you can hear me, say something! Please!

A noise cut through the silence. It was quiet, maybe a gasp. Something you wouldn’t hear, except when it was the only sound, besides the blood pumping through Dean’s body.

“Cas!” Dean yelled again, but there was no reply. It was hard to tell where the noise had come from, but Dean followed his gut, running in one direction until he saw something appear in all the nothing.

A tan trench coat and a shock of dark hair came into focus as Dean raced towards the body crumpled on the ground.

“Cas!” Dean dropped to his knees beside him, his heart soaring like a hot air balloon. “Cas, I’m here, let’s go!” But Cas did not stir.

Panicking, Dean reached out for his pulse. Thumping away, slow but steady under his rib cage. Not knowing what to do, and with no time to waste, Dean gripped Cas and raised him up off the ground.

Slinging an arm around his shoulder, Dean half carried, half dragged Cas towards the eye of the needle that was their door back. He was running faster than he could ever remember moving in his life, despite the added weight of the angel hanging off of him.

Sam and Jack and Eileen came into view, all looking frantic yet relieved when they saw Cas. Dean could just barely make out the sound of their yelling as he pushed Cas through the gap, flinging himself out behind him.

It was like surfacing from the water, narrowly surviving being drowned. The shock of noise and colour and feeling.

Jack was heaving as he released his grip on the seam, allowing it to shut with a snap.

Cas and Dean were piled on the ground, but just as Sam approached them to see if they were all right, Cas bolted upright.

“What-“ Not a second later, Dean jumped to his feet, pulling Cas up with him by his lapels before shoving him into the wall.

“Dean? I-“

“Cas, you stupid, fucking bastard. Never do that again!” As soon as Dean finished, he lunged at Cas, attacking him with a bruising kiss.

Distantly, Dean heard Sam usher Jack and Eileen out of the room, but he was far more focused on kissing the life out of his angel. Harsh, demanding kisses that slowly turned soft and tender, until Dean felt wetness sliding down his cheeks. Damn it, he was crying.

Pulling back for a breath, Dean looked at Cas, staring into blue eyes that were wide with shock, before punching him in the shoulder.

“Ow. That hurt, Dean.” Though Cas didn’t sound too put out. All of a sudden, the situation caught up with him, and Dean let out a watery laugh.

Cas quirked his eyebrow as the laugh brought on another bout of tears from Dean.

“Dean, I don’t know what’s going on… Am I dreaming?” The low grit of Cas’ voice sent a shudder through Dean as he scrubbed his hands against his face, trying to stop the flow of tears still filling his eyes.

“No, Cas, this is real.” His voice was wrecked and shaky but full of so much joy. Cas still looked unsure, but Dean reeled him in for another kiss, this one sweet and full of everything Dean didn’t yet know how to put into words. “We’re real.”

“But how? Dean, I-“

“Jack. He- He’s God now? I think? It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re back.”

“But… why?” Cas looked genuinely confused, head tilt and all, as if he truly couldn’t understand what was happening.

“Jesus, Cas. I couldn’t let you have the last word on that.” He laughed again. “You didn’t even let me reply.” This confession caused fresh tears to fall. “You left and…”

“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” Though Cas still seemed out of it, he seemed to be coming to terms with the fact that this was real, that he somehow managed to cheat death once again.

“It better not.” Dean punched him in the shoulder again for good measure before reaching up to grip the collar of the trench coat. Cas raised his hands too, cupping Dean’s face and running his thumbs gently over sharp cheekbones.

Closing his eyes, Dean pressed their foreheads together.

“I was so scared, Cas,” He whispered. “Every time I’m so, so scared. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but-“

“Shh, I know. But I’m here now,” Cas sighed, his breath ghosting across Dean’s face.

“You didn’t even let me finish,” Dean huffed out a laugh as he pulled back to look at Cas. “I love you, too. I know I’m not as poetic as you were-“

Cas closed the gap between him, kissing away whatever semblance of thought he had left.

“I can’t believe I thought just telling you was true happiness,” Cas murmured once he pulled away. “This is better than I ever could have imagined.”

Dean remembered the conviction Cas had that Dean couldn’t love him back and felt the need to really drive this point home.

“Cas, ever since you saved me from hell, my life was changed. You, you helped me learn that I deserve to be saved. More than that, you taught me how powerful love can be. How much I’m willing to sacrifice, for someone other than Sammy. You’re the first person I let into my life for a long time, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I love you.” Dean gulped as he finished, not able to meet Cas’ eyes.

Cas tipped Dean’s chin up, looking at him with watery eyes and a half-smile. “I know.”

Dean looked at Cas with a stunned expression before shaking his head and laughing. “I can’t believe you just Han Solo-ed me.” Cas’ lips quirked up into a true smile, one of the rare ones that filled his entire face, making his eyes all squinty.

“I love you, Dean.” Dean reached his arms around Cas and wrapped him in a tight hug, tucking his face in the space between his neck and shoulder. They stood like that for what felt like hours, Dean breathing in the smell of Cas’ skin while Cas ran his fingers through the short hairs at the nape of Dean’s neck.

When they finally broke apart, Dean sighed and said, “You should probably go see the others.”

“Oh, are they here?!”

“Yeah, they saw you come out but I think they ran out of here when we, you know,” Dean scratched the back of his neck.

“And they’re all okay?”

“Yeah, everyone’s good. Jack saved the entire world.” They both looked proud.

“Okay, let’s go.” Cas started towards the door before Dean grabbed his arm.

“Wait a minute,” Dean laughed. “You look…” Cas’ hair was even messier than when Dean first met him, ruffled up like someone had been running their hands through it. His lips were red and slick, his eyes bloodshot, tear tracks running down his face. Huh, Dean didn’t even know when Cas had started crying. “I imagine I look worse.”

They both adjusted their clothes that had gotten wrinkled while they were pressed together. Cas reached over and wiped away the tears that were threatening to spill from Dean’s eyes again, before tipping his head back to stop his own. Cas, in the process of fixing his own hair, only made it worse, fluffier and standing up in odd places.

“Here, let me,” Dean said, crowding into Cas’ space again. He carefully adjusted the strands of dark hair into something resembling order. Standing this close together, Cas tipped his head up for a short kiss, just a press of lips together.

“I think this is as good as it’s going to get,” Dean sighed. “I mean, it’s not like they won’t know what we’ve been doing anyway.” Cas watched as Dean slanted his eyes to the side, looking nervous.

“Are you worried about what the others will say?”

“Not really. This is just all so… I never thought I would have this,” Dean said in a small voice. “I never even let myself think that… But I’m ready.”

Cas reached out and squeezed Dean’s hand before they went to go find the rest of their family.

~~~~~~~~

Sam, Jack, and Eileen had congregated in the War Room after fleeing the scene. Sam felt like their moment deserved some privacy.

Sam was surprised, sure, but maybe not as surprised as he could be. He wasn’t blind or oblivious.

The three of them talked for a while, filling Eileen in on what had happened. Jack seemed suddenly much better at sign language, maybe a side effect of being… a god?

There was too much going on to really think about that part. What mattered was Eileen was alive, they survived, and they got Cas back.

Sam had taken a few minutes to call their friends. Charlie, Donna, Jody, everyone was all safe and sound. It seemed that Jack brought back everyone who Chuck had snapped away, regardless of whether or not they died in the past. Hell, if he and Dean got to live, everyone else deserved to.

The three of them looked up when they heard noises approaching. Cas and Dean emerged from the hallway.

Cas looked happier than Sam had ever seen him. He rushed forward, wrapping Jack in his arms. Jack smiled and returned the hug, just as tight.

Sam made eye contact with Dean, raising a questioning eyebrow. Miraculously, Dean didn’t scowl or roll his eyes. Instead, a smile grew on his face and he shrugged.

When Cas and Jack pulled apart, Jack whispered loudly. “So you and Dean-“ Cas just laughed.

“Shh, we’ll talk about it later.” Jack sighed but grinned. They really looked like father and son at that moment, sharing twin smiles with crinkly eyes.

Cas then went in for a hug with Sam. Jack looked at Dean, curiously. He had never seen the expression on the man’s face before and couldn’t figure out what it meant.

Cas and Sam’s hug ended with a slap on the back and a, “It’s good to have you back, buddy.”

Cas looked unsure when he approached Eileen, the two still didn’t know each other that well, but Eileen opened her arms wide.

“Come here!” Their hug was short but sweet, and Eileen smiled when it was over. “It’s good to have you back.”

After a moment with all of them staring at each other, Sam broke the silence.

“So-“ He couldn’t even finish the word before Dean cut him off.

“Shut up, Sammy.” But he looked to find, so happy, that words were meaningless.

Laughing, Sam raised his hands in surrender. “We are going to talk about this eventually, though, right?” Dean ignored him, but there was a spark in his eyes. Honestly, Sam really didn’t have many questions that he didn’t already have the answers to.

~~~~~~~~

Sam, Dean, and Eileen made a quick burger run, giving Cas and Jack some time to talk.

Sam and Eileen both sat in the backseat, allowing Sam to relay whatever Dean was saying in sign language to Eileen.

“So…” Sam started again.

“Fine, nosy. What do you wanna ask me.”

“Are you happy?” That wasn’t the question Dean was expecting.

“I- Yeah, Sammy. I am.” Wow, he was turning into one sappy sonofabitch.

“So, has this been going on for a while and I just missed it, or…”

“No. I mean, yes but not… officially? I’ve loved him for a long time, man.” Dean shook his head like he couldn’t even believe what he was saying. “I never thought… but he told me. Right before the Empty took him, he told me he loved me. That’s why the Empty took him. It was waiting for him to experience true happiness.”

“Wow.” Sam sighed. It was a lot to take in.

“Finally!” Eileen spoke up. Both boys looked at her, surprised.

“What? I have eyes.” She laughed. “I’m good at picking up on things like that. You give each other heart eyes every time you’re in the same room.”

“Wow, I guess we weren’t as subtle as we thought.” They finally pulled up to the burger joint, allowing the tension of the car ride to ease.

It felt so normal, after all that had happened. They waited in line, looking at all the people going about their lives. Eating, chatting, laughing.

The three of them just stood there, not talking, taking in the fact that the world went on.

The ride back was considerably more relaxed. Sam and Eileen were signing together in the back seat.

“So, since you got to interrogate on the way here, I get to grill you now.”

“Okay, shoot.” Sam sounded far too confident, and that was when Dean realized he had no clue what to ask.

“Um,” Dean thought for a minute. “What are your plans?”

Sam looked at Eileen and she shrugged.

“We haven’t really thought that far yet,” Eileen said.

“But you are gonna stick around? Right?”

“Of course,” Eileen said. “Someone needs to watch out for you.”

“Do you think you’ll keep hunting?” Dean asked, suddenly curious about what the future was going to hold for all of them.

“I don’t know. It depends if the world still needs hunters. Maybe we’ll get to retire.” Eileen mused.

Wasn’t that a thought? Dean always thought he would die before he got old. Except, he was getting kinda old now. His back hurt and his knees ached and it was kind of awesome. He never thought he’d make it this far.

They spent the rest of the ride joking around, lightheartedly. When they arrived back at the bunker, Dean felt his stomach swoop. He knew it was important to let Cas and Jack catch up, but he couldn’t wait to see him again. He was a little worried that he would open the door, and they’d both be gone. This felt like a dream, and Dean was worried he was going to wake up.

~~~~~~~~

After the trio left, Jack brought Cas to speed on everything that happened, from all of their friends disappearing, to the entire population disappearing, to Lucifer, to Michael, to Chuck, and back to when they rescued him.

“Wait, you didn’t kill Chuck?”

“We didn’t have to. He’s powerless. He’s not writing the story anymore and I’m not either. We burned the script.”

“So… we’re free?”

“Yup!” Jack said. “It’s not up to anyone to dictate our lives anymore.” Cas paused for a moment to take this in.

“Wow… Jack that’s… Just wow.”

“Okay, now that you’re caught up can I ask about De-“ Before he could finish his sentence, the bunker door swung open.

“We’ve got grub!” Dean called out, Sam and Eileen following behind him.

“We can finish talking later,” Cas said warmly, ruffling Jack’s hair before going to help Dean with the food.

Their hands brushed as Cas took a bag, sending a shock straight to Dean’s heart. They shared a brief look before bringing the food to the table.

“Jack, I didn’t know if you still eat now, but I got you some food anyways.” Dean said, carefully. He still felt off-kilter with what happened to Jack. He just wanted Jack to be okay.

“I think I would still like to eat? So I guess I can.” Everyone looked at him expectantly, until he tore into his bag and began munching on fries.

“So, Jack… What do you want us to call you now?” Sam asked.

“Jack is fine. Jack Kline-Winchester?” He added the second part with a hopeful smile.

“Of course, buddy. Jack Kline-Winchester, it is.” Dean announced.

“I would say welcome to the family,” Sam began. “But you’ve always been a part of our family.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Dean said, before getting up. “Cas, can you help me grab some beers.”

“Of course.” And the two of them left the War Room, leaving Sam and Eileen to share a smile, while Jack looked on confused.

“What? Nobody will tell me what’s going on with them.” He sounded like the petulant toddler that he kind of was. Sam constantly forgot how young he was.

“I think that’s something they have to tell you themselves,” Sam said, gently. Jack huffed but left it at that.

~~~~~~~~

Dean wanted to be alone with Cas for a minute. It was hard to process what was happening with everything going on, and he wanted to take a minute to breathe and bask in the moment.

Cas seemed to have the same plan because as soon as they got there, Cas pushed up against Dean until he had to brace himself against the counter. Leaning into each other, they met with a kiss, Cas fisting his hands into Dean’s shirt while Dean gripped the smooth metal, trying to not fall. That was easier said than done, as his legs turned to jello and his arms began to shake.

Just when Dean thought he was going to melt into a puddle of goo on the floor, Cas pulled back, still gripping Dean’s shirt. Dean was panting, trying to catch his breath.

“You,” Cas gave him quick kisses between words. “Are,” Kiss. “Beautiful.” Kiss.

Dean lowered his eyes and blushed, then looked up at Cas through his eyelashes. He didn’t know what to say.

“I mean it, Dean. You are the most gorgeous thing I have ever laid my eyes on.”

“Right back at you,” Dean replied, lamely. “Sorry, I’m still trying to figure out the ‘talking about your feelings’ thing.” Cas kissed him on the forehead.

“That’s okay. We have time. But we should head back before the others start to think-“

“Oh, yeah, right.” Dean grabbed three beers from the fridge, while Cas took the remaining one and a pop for Jack. Even if he was a god now, he was still little and Cas didn’t want him getting thinking he was all grown now. He still wanted to protect him.

The men returned to the War Room to see Sam and Eileen had started their food as well. Dean slid two beers across the table to them before cracking open his own. Jack pouted when Cas handed him the pop, but opened it and quickly guzzled it down.

“Cheers!” Dean said, clinking his bottle against Cas’. They both reached for their bags of food and dug in. Dean glanced at Cas, curious as a question formed in his mind.

“Are you… an angel? I mean, does the food taste like food or molecules?”

“Hmm,” Cas took another bite of his hamburger, considering the taste. “It tastes like food.”

“So, you’re human.” Sam inquired.

“I’m not really sure. Jack?”

“You’re whatever you want to be now. It’s up for you to decide. Whatever you want, that’s what you’ll be.” Jack said sagely. Everyone looked at Cas expectantly.

“Well, I don’t know what I want. I’ve never really had a choice before.” Cas’ face brightened as he realized what this meant. “I get to make my own choice about this? No interference from Chuck? No impending disaster?”

“Nope!” Jack popped the p. “It’s up to you.”

“I guess I’m going to have to think about it.” Then he continued eating his burger.

With all of the big questions out of the way, for now, the group began chatting about nothing in particular. Just laughing and enjoying being together without the threat of death looming over their heads.

Once they had finished their dinner and beers, Sam exchanged a look with Eileen before standing up.

“Okay,” Sam announced. “It’s been a long day so I’m gonna head to bed.”

“Me too,” Eileen said, quickly.

“But it’s only 8 o’clock,” Jack said, confused.

“Well, Jack, when a man loves a woman-“ Dean started.

“Dean, shut up! Jack, it’s been a long day and I just want to get some rest. You should probably get some sleep, too.” Sam said, giving Dean and Cas a pointed look.

“Yes,” Cas cut in. “You’ve had a big day and you need to go to bed.”

“But Cas!” Jack whined.

“Just because you’re a god now doesn’t stop you from being a kid. You still have a bedtime.” Cas replied sternly.

Jack grumbled as he got up, and Cas shot a smirk in Dean’s direction.

“Okay, well I guess that settles it. Goodnight!” Sam and Eileen began walking away.

“Goodnight!” Eileen said, giggling as she grabbed Sam’s hand.

“Be safe.” Dean teased and was met with Sam flipping him off over his shoulder.

“Adults are weird.” Jack sighed as he made to leave.

“Wait a minute,” Cas said. “C’mere.” He wrapped Jack in his arms. “Thank you.” He said sincerely.

“Of course, Cas. I would never leave you there. I love you.”

“I love you too, Jack,” Cas had a fond smile on his face. “Now get to bed before I have to drag you there.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“G’night, kiddo,” Dean said, ruffling Jack’s hair as he walked by.

“Night, Dean.” Jack waved, then he trailed down the hallway until he was out of sight.

As soon as Jack was gone, Dean turned to Cas and laughed.

“I guess our next mission is raising a baby god?”

“I don’t know what we’re going to do. I know he’s powerful, but I promised Kelly I would take care of him and I’m not going to stop now.”

“It’s okay, we’ll figure it out. I mean, we’ve made it through the end of the world how many times? I’m sure we can manage raising a kid.” Dean realized that this was the first time he could say that honestly.

His whole life, he was terrified of himself, of becoming like his dad. He never believed he could be a good father, convinced that he was too full of rage to nurture anyone. And yeah, he had made lots of mistakes in his past, but if Cas could believe that he was a good person, he was going to try his hardest to make that true.

~~~~~~~~

The War Room was now empty except for a possibly retired hunter and a possible human angel. Dean was thinking about all that had happened, still wondering if this was his life.

“Jack told me you didn’t kill Chuck,” Cas said suddenly. “Why?”

“Um, honestly?” Dean cracked his knuckles, a nervous habit. “Because of you?”

“What?”

“Chuck was, he was egging us on, trying to get a rise out of us, and he called me the ultimate killer,” Dean let out a humourless laugh. “In the past, I would have believed him. But I remembered what you told me. That I’m not what our enemies think. And I just couldn’t do it. I wanted to be the man that you see me as.”

“Dean, you’re already that man, even if you can’t see it. You didn’t make that choice because of me, you made it because of you. You’re a good person, Dean.”

“I don’t know if I can believe that yet.” Dean’s voice was small.

“You can’t believe me?” Cas asked, with a head tilt.

“I believe that you think I’m a good person and I’m going to do everything to keep it that way.” Cas sighed.

“That’s good enough for now, I guess. But I hope one day you will see yourself the way I see you.”

“I’ll try, Cas, I promise. I’m trying.” There was still something Dean needed to say, though. “I’m sorry!” He blurted out suddenly, knowing if he didn’t do this now, it could be ages before he worked up the courage.

“What are you sorry for?”

“That I made you feel unwanted. That I was so wrapped up in my own shit that I never even entertained the idea that you might love me back. That I pushed you away. That I ever made you feel like you couldn’t have your true happiness.”

“Yes, well, it wasn’t your fault. Not really. I could have made my intentions clear from the beginning, but I didn’t know what you would say. Not because you made me feel unwanted but because that was the first time I ever wanted. I had no precedent for falling in love.” Dean’s heart flutters at the word. He doesn’t think the novelty will ever wear off. “So maybe we both made some mistakes along the way. But still, it got us here.” Cas looked at Dean with that fond smile, the one the Dean is realizing makes it impossible to resist the urge to kiss him.

They both lean in, bumping their noses together as they misjudge the angle, but quickly fit their mouths together. Dean licks at the seam of Cas’ lips, feeling as they open for him. Dean has done a lot of kissing in his life, but each kiss with Cas blew all the other ones out of the water. Maybe it was something about kissing your best friend, with whom you share a profound bond, who you have been in love with for years. Dean sighed as they pulled apart.

“I think both of us were stupid because if we didn’t have our heads shoved up our asses, we could have been doing this for years.” Dean leans back into the kiss.

~~~~~~~~

After cleaning the remnants of their dinner from the table, the two men made their way to Dean’s room. The rest of the bunker was quiet, only the sounds of their footsteps echoing off the floor. Dean had Cas’ hand firmly grasped in his own.

“Come on,” Dean said, pulling Cas into his room. “I have something I want to show you.” Dean kicked the door shut behind him before gesturing for Cas to sit on the bed. “Gimme a minute, I need to find it first.”

Dean began rummaging through his drawers while Cas watched him. Finally, Dean pulled out something small from the bottommost drawer.

“I made this years ago.” Dean held up a cassette tape, with a label that read Songs For When You Tell Him in neat printing.

“Dean…” He trailed off, at a loss for words.

“Scoot over.” Dean sat on the bed next to Cas, reaching into his nightstand to pull out an old cassette player.

Can’t Find My Way Home by Blind Faith played out through the speaker. Side by side, shoulder to shoulder, Dean and Cas listened to the songs. At some point, Dean rested his head against Cas’ shoulder, closing his eyes and letting the comfort of the moment wash over him. Cas rested his head against Dean’s, reaching out for his hand to twine their fingers together. After 10 songs, the final notes of Ready for Love by Bad Company fizzle out. The two of them sit there for a moment until Dean pushes Cas gently, maneuvering him to lean against the headboard.

Crawling into his lap, Dean braces himself against Cas’ shoulders while Cas fits his hands on the curve of Dean’s waist. Melting together, the men share their breath, brushing lips softly together. Though these tender kisses were wonderful, Dean wanted more. He nipped on Cas’ lower lip, causing hands to tighten around his waist.

Flipping them around, Cas ends up on top of Dean, hovering over him. Dean’s hands are held tight over his head as Cas takes control. Dean, faced with an onslaught of harsh, bruising kisses, more teeth than tongue, lets out a low moan.

The air in the room becomes thick as Dean feels himself become lost to pleasure. His head is swimming and his eyes, when he opens them, are glassy and unseeing.

“Dean?” The voice floats through his trance. “Dean…” Slowly, Dean feels him come back to himself, aware of Cas looking down at him.

“Mm, yes?” He still felt floaty. In 41 years of his life, Dean had never been kissed breathless before.

“Just making sure you’re still with me.”

“Yeah, 'm here.” He makes grabby hands at Cas’ coat, trying to pull him in again. He manages to get one, two, three kisses before Cas leans back.

“Dean, it’s late,” Cas whispers into the quiet night. Dean tries to make a noise of protest, but all that comes out is a yawn.

“Mm, fine.” Dean leans back into his pillows. Suddenly, the weight on the bed shifts and Dean opens his eyes in panic as he watches Cas stand.

“Wait!” He says in alarm, bolting upright. Cas looks back at him. “Stay?” Cas leans in again to press a kiss against his forehead.

“Always.” Cas takes off his coat and returns to the bed. “I just thought I should get comfortable if I’m going to stay the night.” They both discard unnecessary layers until both men have stripped down to their boxers. Dean gets up to grab two of his old t-shirts, ones that he has reserved for sleep.

Dean tosses one to Cas, where he is laying in bed, before crawling in next to him. They put the shirts on, fabric soft from so many cycles through the wash.

Pulling the covers over them, Dean presses a kiss against Cas’ neck, right on his pulse point.

“Cas?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you even sleep?” Cas had told him he would watch over him while he slept before, but it would be nice to be able to sleep together.

“I’m not sure. I guess we’ll find out.” He turns to give Dean one more kiss before sinking down into the pillows. With Cas laying on his back, Dean turns to his side, laying his head against his heart. Listening to the steady thump, Dean slings an arm across Cas’ chest and feels Cas bring up a hand to run his fingers through his hair. Feeling more safe and content than he has ever felt in his life, Dean drifts off into a peaceful sleep.

~~~~~~~~

Dean wakes up pressed against a warm body, nestled in an embrace. The events of the previous day flash through his mind and he thanks Jack that this wasn’t all a dream. Cas is passed out, breathing deeply.

Carefully, so as not to wake Cas, Dean extracts himself from the arms encircling him. It is only 7 am, but he needed to do something special to celebrate their win.

Still in his boxers and sleepshirt, Dean made his way to the kitchen so he could start whipping up their breakfast of champions. When he got there, he was surprised to see Eileen, dressed and already brewing a pot of coffee.

When she saw Dean, she gave him a warm smile.

“Good morning!” She said, cheerfully.

“Morning,” Dean said, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “What are you doing up so early?”

“Well, when you die and come back, sleeping feels like a waste.”

“Don’t I know it!” Dean began rummaging through the kitchen, looking for supplies to get started on the pancakes. “Did you manage to get any sleep?”

“Yeah, Sam tired me out.” She said with a smirk.

“Ew, gross!” Eileen laughs and Dean can’t help joining in. “Besides, that… How is Sam doing? The look on his face when you didn’t pick up the phone…” He trails off, remembering his brother’s face, full of sorrow.

“He seems good. He cried but they seemed like happy tears. I’m just glad to be back here.”

“Aw, Sammy, the softy. So, if you’re staying, is there anything we should get for you? Make you feel more at home?”

“I’m a big girl, Dean. I think I’ve got it covered.” She said, but there was no heat behind his words.

“I know. I just worry. Sam’s track record with previous girls has been… bleak.”

“Yeah, he told me about that. He thinks his dick is cursed or something,” Dean let out a choked laugh at that. He really did like this girl. “But I’m a hunter and I can take care of myself. It’s just nice to be able to take care of yourself knowing that someone else is there for you, too.”

Dean let her words sink in, feeling the truth of what she was saying. Love didn’t make you weak or reliant, it just gave you someone else in your corner.

“You’re a wise lady, you know that?”

“So, I’ve been told.” The serious conversation ended and Dean began getting into his cooking, trying to balance the pancakes with the bacon with eggs with the sausage with the toast, all while Eileen was offering moral support through cups of coffee.

Since they were already hanging out together, Dean asked if Eileen could teach him some more sign language. He had already picked up a bit, namely swear words, but with Eileen hopefully becoming a more permanent fixture of the bunker, he knew he had to make more of an effort. So, for each thing the Dean picked up (spatula, egg, butter, knife), Eileen showed him how to sign it.

While Eileen was teaching Dean how to sign, “Pass the beer” when Sam stumbled in still yawning.

“Ah, look what the cat dragged in,” Dean said, attempting to sign along, as well.

“Mmm, I smelt breakfast.” Sam sidled up to where Eileen was leaning against the counter, pressing a kiss into the top of her head. Wrapping an arm around her, Sam turned his attention to Dean. “So, what’s all this about?”

“We won! This,” Dean gestured to the mountain of food. “Is a celebration!”

“A celebration?” Jack walked into the kitchen, a blanket draped around his shoulders like a cape. “What are we celebrating.” He finished with a yawn.

“It’s done! It’s over! At least for now, we can have a break without the end of the world coming and ruining our day. Really, it’s a celebration for you, Jack.”

“Really?! That’s amazing! I call dibs on the best pancakes.”

“Only if you help bring this food out to the table,” Dean says, handing Jack platters containing the bacon and sausages. “You too,” Dean points at Sam and Eileen, who have been canoodling. “Everyone has to pitch in.” Just as he finished saying this, Cas walked in. Still in boxers and Dean’s old t-shirt, he looked half-asleep.

“What are we doing?” In the morning, his voice was even deeper than usual.

“Jack, Sam, and Eileen are bringing this food to the table, and you’re going to help me with the rest.” Cas nods, eyes still bleary. After eons of not having to sleep, waking up in the morning really put him out of it.

Jack, Sam, and Eileen hurry out of the kitchen, arms laden with breakfast. Once they’re gone, Cas slowly pushes Dean against the fridge, mouthing sloppily at his neck. The wet sensation makes Dean squirm away.

“Ew, Cas,” He says with a laugh. “What’re you doing?”

“Mm, come back. You taste good.” Cas tries to attach himself to Dean’s neck again, but he catches him by the shoulders.

“You know what would taste even better?” Cas huffs, not able to imagine anything that could possibly be- “Coffee.” Dean pushes the coffee canister into Cas’ hands.

“Well, you’re a close second,” Cas says, leaning in for a quick kiss before he is ushered out of the room.

Alone, Dean surveys the kitchen, still messy from prep work but something he can deal with later. Grabbing the last trays of pancakes and toast, Dean goes to join the rest of his family for breakfast.

The table is arranged beautifully, courtesy of Jack who wanted everything to be perfect. When Dean arrives with the final platters, everyone is already sitting, filling up their plates with eggs and bacon and sausage. As soon as Dean sets down the pancakes, Jack is on them like a piranha.

“Wow, easy there, kid. There’s enough pancakes to go around.”

“Yeah, but I want the best ones.” He rolls his eyes like it’s obvious and holy fuck is this what raising a kid is going to be like? Dean just rolls his eyes back at Jack.

“I made them, so they’re all good,” He concludes, dropping into the seat next to Cas. Looking marginally more awake than when Dean last saw him, probably due to the empty mug in front of him, Cas smiles at Dean. Filling himself a cup of coffee, Dean prepares to enjoy his celebratory breakfast. Just as he takes a sip, Jack pipes up again.

“Did you and Cas have sex?” Dean chokes on his coffee, coughing for several moments before he can get his breathing under control. The rest of the table looks just as caught-off-guard, eyes wide and mouths hanging open.

“What?” Dean splutters.

“I said-”

“No, I heard what you said.” Jack tilted his head, in a way very reminiscent of Cas.

“I think what Dean is trying to say,” Sam butts in. “Is why did you feel the need to ask that.” Jack huffs and rolls his eyes again like it’s everyone else who is being ridiculous.

“I keep asking what’s going on with you two and no one answers me. Usually that means you’re talking about something you think I’m too young to hear. But I’m not a baby. I know about sex! Cas gave me the talk.” Three pairs of eyes train their attention on Cas, who looks too tired to even attempt to take place in the conversation that is happening around him. However, with three sets of desperate eyes pinned on him, Cas decides to take mercy.

“No, Jack. Dean and I did not have sex, yet.” Cas deadpans.

“Cas!” Dean exclaims as Sam and Eileen start to let out incredulous giggles. Jack, however, didn’t seem to care about the “yet”, already moving onto his next question.

“Then what’s happening that nobody wants to tell me about?”

“Cas and I are in love, we have been in love with each other for a very long time but since we’re both so stupid, neither of us knew until Cas admitted his feelings so he could feel true happiness and save me from Billie by letting the empty take him. Now he’s back, I told him how I feel and now we’re together.” Dean rambles, saying more than he thought he would when he started that sentence.

“Oh,” Jack says. “I thought you already knew that?” Head tilt. “I always call you my dad’s boyfriend.”

“To who?” Dean asks, not offended, just wondering who Jack is talking to that they don’t already know.

“Doesn’t matter,” Cas interjects. “What matters is we’re happy. Sam and Eileen are happy. And you’re happy too, right?”

“Of course! I’m here with my family: my dad, my dad’s boyfriend, my dad’s boyfriend’s brother, and my dad’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend.” He counted off on his fingers as he said each one, smiling when he finished.

“Wow.” Dean sighs, watching Jack dig into his pancakes like nothing’s wrong. And, really, nothing is wrong. They’re all here, happy and healthy and safe, even if Dean is embarrassed and Sam and Eileen are in shock and Cas is tired but smiling. They have nothing to worry about.

~~~~~~

The rest of breakfast passed smoothly, the absurdity of that conversation leading Sam and Dean to share some of the craziest things they experienced on the job.

Dean just finished telling them about when Gabriel put them into television shows when Sam lets out a cackle and doubles over.

“What?” Dean asks.

“Remember those, what did they call themselves? Ghostfacers? They were right!” Sam let out another surprised laugh, looking up at the ceiling.

“Right about what?” Dean asks, confused.

“The power of gay love really can pierce through the veil of death and save the day.”

Click here to read on ao3

[remys-lucky-franc]

Comfort - Remy POV Fic (Queen of Thieves)

“Hey, I wanna ask for a Remy angst. Are you allowed to write angst?”

I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to write this for you, life’s just been a bit crazy between work and studying lately, and it’s so annoying because I’ve had some really nice requests that I’m excited to write for people, but I just haven’t had any time to work on them! Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this @ilovewritingfics 💕

Notes: although it’s written from Remy’s POV (I’ve never written a POV before for anything!), the fic is set in Nikolai’s route, which sounds weird, but you’ll see what I mean. No specific TWs for the fic, it covers Nikolai’s trauma surrounding his family, so if you aren’t up to date and don’t want a spoiler on that, or if it’s upsetting to you, consider giving this one a miss.

Word Count 2100

I want to credit my lovely friend @stopforamoment for her suggestion on the topic for this short fic - thank you lovely.

—-

[MORE] [[MORE]]

Dinner Club. One of my favourite things we do together. Every member of The Gilded Poppy is different and everyone has their own interests, of course. But this is something we can all enjoy, and I love this family time so much: everyone laughing, sharing food, telling stories, teasing each other... It’s always such fun to be part of this, and after a successful heist, it’s even better!

After all, tonight we have a beautiful vintage fencing sword in our possession! I know, it’s part of a much larger plan, but for tonight at least, stealing it has made Niko really happy, and that makes me happy. He’s sitting at the end of the table with a glint in his eye, listening to Daisy and Leon chatter joyfully about the (I must say, very predictable) ‘twist’ at the end of some romance novel. It’s a glint that I’ve seen a lot since Daisy joined our (very attractive) crime family. I smile to myself as I watch how her cheeks colour so prettily when she notices his eyes fixed on her, like she’s the only person in the room. It’s been a long time since I’ve saw Niko’s interest pique the way it does when she’s close by, if ever, actually. The energy between them, it’s something quite unique: special. She’s a match for him in ways I’ve never seen before, and the challenge is good for him. It’s like she set off a spark in him and all of the wonderful things that make him Niko, are just ‘more’ with her around. I watch them play their game - anticipation, flirtation, power and control - I’m well-versed in ‘love’ and seduction (some would say ‘a master’) but this something else: it’s not part of a con, not something ‘to get out of your system’... I only hope Daisy doesn’t tire of it, because I’ve never seen someone get the better of Nikolai Stirling the way she can.

I lean forward skewering something delicious from the sharing platter in front of me, popping it into my mouth, laughing along to the friendly debate Zoe, Jett and Vivienne are having. Vivienne’s losing her argument and is trying to convince me to fight her corner, but I’m too preoccupied with how I could use my conman charms to ‘gently persuade’ my best friend and Daisy to forget who is winning their mindgames and push them closer together. Niko will hate me meddling, but it’s for his own good! Maybe tomorrow I can-

My plotting is abruptly ended as the waiter heading to a table behind us is jostled by a man who tries to squeeze past him in a space that’s too narrow. It’s like the world slows down... I can see what’s unfolding, but I’m powerless: I have no time, no way of stopping it. The waiter loses his footing, one arm flailing. I’m holding my breath! He recovers (barely) without falling over, but not before the glass of Amarone perched on his tray swirls and sloshes to one side, a crescendo of blood-red bursting free down the front of Nikolai’s crisp white shirt. The bold bouquet of fruit and spice hits my nose as deep red splatters bleed and seep across the fabric. Nikolai is frozen, complete horror etched across his face. Suddenly, all I can see is the scared fifteen year-old I befriended on the streets of Paris carrying a sick kitten.

The waiter has discarded his tray; he’s panicked and apologising to Nikolai, fumbling for a napkin to try to blot away the mess. Our friends have noticed, but before anyone else can react, I’m halfway across the table with the salt cellar slipped inside my pocket. I wrap one comforting arm around Niko, my other hand on the waiters arm, reassuring him (in flawless Italian, of course) that everything is under control and I’ll take it from here. Within seconds, I have Nikolai on his feet, gripping him close to me as I guide him towards the restroom: always moving forward. I keep my free arm across his chest, deliberately, to shield the stains from his sight; leaning in close, chattering to distract him. Anything I can do, anything to keep him walking until I can get him inside. He’s hyperventilating by the time we enter the plush restroom, and fortunately it’s empty.

“Niko? Breathe. Slowly. Come on.”

He’s still not responding, I gently put pressure on his shoulder, manoeuvring him onto an Art Deco-style chaise beside a large mirror. I crouch in front of him, cupping his face in my hands, offering comfort, speaking softly,

“It’s ok. I’m here. Your Remy’s got you. It’s going to be ok. You’re safe.”

It’s a mantra I repeat several times over while he trembles. Minutes feel much longer, but now his breathing is slowing and for the first time since the spillage, he makes eye contact with me. I’m so relieved! I nod and smile before I press a heartfelt kiss to his cheek. The worst has passed. He’s going to be ok.

I pause, taking just a few seconds to catch my own breath: getting him away from the table to a safe space, keeping him moving, it was all automatic, all done on instincts. But now, my mind races. I’m so glad this happened when I was at the table; would anyone else have been able to get him out the way I did? Would he have let anyone else lead him off like this? He looked so vulnerable just now, it breaks my heart to think of it...

‘Focus, Remy. Come on. You’re not done yet.’

I lean back, fingers shifting to his collar, offering him my most suggestive grin,

“Lose the shirt.”

Nikolai manages a weak laugh (I knew that would get him!) as his fingers move toward his buttons, I realise a second too late that his hands are shaking too much to undo them. He mutters a strangled apology and rakes a hand through his dark hair as I make short work of them, startled by just how hard his heart hammers inside his chest, even now, minutes after the incident. He shrugs his way out of the shirt and I take it to the counter, grabbing some paper towels to blot out the liquid before dumpling half of the stolen salt cellar onto the stain. Selecting an expensive-looking cologne from the selection provided, I head back to Niko, spritzing it around him as I go, trying to erase the lingering scent of the alcohol from his nostrils.

As I join him on the chaise, he clears his throat awkwardly, his usually crisp clear voice barely audible at all,

“Thank you.”

I bump my shoulder against his, still trying to lighten the mood,

“Pas de problème.”

He still looks like he’s met a ghost, and I can feel the seat vibrate under me from his agitated tapping foot. But at least he’s speaking to me: when things have happened before, things that have triggered horrible memories for him, sometimes it’s taken hours to get him to even look at me. The first time it happened, long before The Gilded Poppy existed, we were only street kids, sleeping rough and begging. I’ll never forget it as long as I’m alive. A group of men left a bar near where we were hoping to earn a few francs, one of them was worse for wear and fell to the ground, vomiting. It wasn’t until I turned to Niko, ready to make some sassy comment about how the drunk couldn’t hold his liquor or his wallet, that I realised something was very, very wrong. It took hours for him to come back around, and days to feel better afterwards... I didn’t have a very happy childhood, and I was forced to grow up quickly, but not in the same way as Niko. The things he suffered... I can’t help but put myself into his shoes, picturing my family around our small dinner table, my lovely old meme, my mother bringing food to the table, my father chatting to my young brother about school... How unreal it must have felt to Niko, how terrifying. I cannot begin to imagine: to watch your whole family die... And such a painful death... It’s little wonder it haunts him. I scrub my hand across my eyes trying to shake the sickening scene.

I clap my hand on Niko’s knee as I stand, heading back to check how the salt is working on his shirt: it may seem ridiculous, but a conman has to think fast, and you never know when a cleaning tip like this will be useful! Of course, the shirt is looking much better - now I just need to rinse it and dry it off. Almost done. I bustle around the washbasin, running the breast of Niko’s shirt under the piping water, rinsing away the salt, pink dye flowing down the drain, erasing tonight’s events. I hold it up to the lights, smiling as I do.

“I think the shirt will survive, Niko.”

I start the hand drier, just as I hear Niko murmur something, far too low for me to hear over the roar,

“What was that?”

I stop, making my way back across to the chaise, gesturing for Niko to repeat himself. He looks up at me with the saddest blue eyes,

“I never wanted her to see me, like, this. How can she...” His posture visibly stiffens, “She won’t respect me after this?”

I frown. Of course, he’s talking about Daisy. And something in his voice tells me that Daisy’s ‘respect’ isn’t the feeling he’s truly worried about, but while he’s shirtless in a restaurant bathroom really isn’t the best time for me to play Cupid... I try to tell Nikolai that Daisy is the last person who would think any less of him because of this, she is so lovely: surely he knows her well enough, to know that? Daisy is sensitive and kind: she would understand. But he’s still shaken and so agitated about what happened at the table, my honest words make no difference; his barricades are going up and he mutters that he doesn’t want her pity. I make a show of raising one eyebrow at him, and shaking my head before I march back to the hand drier. I love Niko dearly, but he can be so stubborn, it makes me crazy!

Ten minutes later, Niko is looking much more collected, and is back in his gleaming white shirt: I am a man of many talents, it’s true! He straightens himself up in front of the mirror as I watch on: it’s almost as though nothing ever happened. We exit the restroom and rejoin our friends. Everyone is wonderfully discrete: they pretend we never left the table. Niko doesn’t utter a single word for the rest of the evening. His expression is strained and he doesn’t touch a bite of his food - he’s going through the motions but I know he can’t wait for the evening to end. I chip in some delightful anecdotes to help keep the conversation flowing, but what happened tonight weighs heavily on me: what if this happened and I wasn’t here? What if something like this happened on a heist? What if I couldn’t get to him? What would we do? How could I keep my best friend safe? What if something went wrong and I wasn’t around anymore? Who else understands like me?

I meet Daisy’s big brown eyes over the table, concern is written across her face. She really cares for Niko, it’s so obvious. I wish he would let her in... Having someone else who loves you, an extra person in this world looking out for you, to rely on... She could be the best thing that ever happened to him. She could make him happy, I can see it all.

I make a silent promise to myself: they say that love will find a way? Well, it certainly will when Remy Chevalier helps it along.