#but i gotta let you know this one? had conflicting feelings about it and/or also suffered. but rather than just saying that

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[cicadaknight]

horizon drinking game where you take a shot of scappersap every time someone refers to a carjan as “one of the good ones”

[alpaca-clouds]

Some historical context for Olrox

Okay, let me prephase this with one important message: Castlevania Nocturne made me really happy by making the plot all about colonialism, as colonialism and its fallout and how it influences us to this day is a topic that I am very passionate about. We do not talk enough about it. The US does not talk enough about it because it could make white people feel uncomfortable. And here in Germany we do not talk about it, because we act as if this had nothing to do with us at all.

But the show talks about it and I love it.

And I honestly also gotta say that I love that the BI_PoC character have a concrete cultural heritage. Olrox is Aztec, Annette is Yoruba, and Drolta is Egyptian. Other shows: Please take notes!

But let's talk Olrox, because he is so fucking interesting and amazing!

We know about him that he is Aztec and also that he is 250 years old. Or roughly that old by the time he kills Julia. Which would put either his birth or his turning somewhere around 1530.

Now, the fall of the Aztec Empire has a very exact date: August 13th, 1521. But you should keep in mind that this does not mean that on that day the Aztec's are extinct. To this day there is still 1,5 million people speaking Nahuatl, the language of the Aztecs, and preserving some of the Aztec cultural traditions. It was just that on that day the empire construct fell to Cortez and the Spaniad conquistadors and a lot of Aztecs went into exile to flee the genocide that Cortez was bringing upon them.

The question of course is: Was Olrox still human at this time or was he already a vampire? From his dialogue it is clear that he was at least alive and grown enough to remember the fall of the empire and the distruction Cortez and his men brought upon them. But you can bet it was very traumatic.

I also am assuming he was turned by a white man. Because so far my assumption is that vampirism is an old world thing that got brought to the new world through colonialism. (Mostly because in Dracula's court we do not see any new world vampires.)

Now, the other interesting thing is what he says about his dead lover. The one Julia killed. So, first the "town in Massachusetts" he speaks about is clearly Stockbridge. Which was the town in which many Mohicans have settled during the colonial times, as well as other people from the Iroquois Nations. Now, it should be noted that the Mohicans were not part of the Iroquois alliance and in fact went to war with the Iroquois, but by the time colonialism really geared up there was some cooperation between the Mohicans and Iroquois.

Due to this they were in an alliance with the Oneida (who were part of the Iroquois) by the time of the Revolutionary war. Now, the Revolutionary War created a lot of conflict between the Iroquois nations, because they did not agree which side they should fight on. Of course both sides promised that they could keep their land, but the Mohawk, Onondaga, Cayuga, and Seneca did not trust the colonists and hence sided with the British, while the Oneida and Tuscarora (and through them also the Mohicans) sided with the Colonists.

And the dead lover clearly was among those siding with the colonists. Now, a quick refresher for the non-Americans (and the Americans who slept to history class, which is understandable). The Revolutionary War lasted from April 19, 1775 to September 3, 1783 (which, yes, also means that Julia and Richter probably were in the US during the war the entire time and the "evil" Julia was fighting probably was linked to it). And of course we all know how it ended for the Indigenous people: The colonists won, countless Indigenous folks died on both sides, only to get booted of their land soon after. The Oneida und Mohicans were made to move westwards not soon after the war ended. So, yes, Olrox would have seen that happen.

Now, an interesting thing in his dialogue was when Erzebet said: "We will create a new world." To which he replies: "I have heard that one before." And she says: "This time we are going to make it to last."

And the big question is to what this is refering. Is it refering to the colonialization or is it refering to the revolutionary war? Or something entirely different. In both cases it would be possible. And yes, the American Revolution definitely were claiming to create a new world. But was it that what he refered to or something else?

Well, never the less: Interesting character. Really good writing.

[luxtrys]

ani just screams corruption kink i feel so dizzy

AHH U FUCKING GOT ME WITH THIS (added a bit of innocence kink because i can't handle myself) also got carried away like i always do, sue me.

also didn't want to write any p in v because i've already written a first time with anakin fic that knowing me would probably turn out super duper similar to this. it's right here if you're interested!! ♡

pretty baby, best friend!anakin skywalker x reader (18+, smut)

you were panicking. you tried to keep your short uncontrolled breaths at bay as you made your way down the halls of the jedi temple. you nearly tripped over your own feet multiple times, your body carrying you straight to anakin's quarters like you were on autopilot.

you had known anakin since he arrived at your home planet of coruscant when he was nine years old. you were only a year younger than him, but you were always a bit naive and innocent, floaty as anakin would call it, so you always felt like he knew best. like he was in charge and in control.

naturally, you felt like anakin knew your body and your feelings even better than you did. so when you felt odd tingles rise in your downstairs area, you didn't know what was going on in your own body. but you knew only one person you could go to, because after all anakin was your best friend.

you tried to ground yourself as you rested your hand on the door handle to anakin's private chambers, closing your eyes for a moment and breathing in and out in a sequence. you slowly opened his door, peeking in to see ani's shirtless figure on his bed, his eyes glued to the book in front of him.

as you stepped in, his head turned in your direction, a handsome smile gracing his face as he quickly bookmarked his page and made his way over to you. "hi angel, how was your day?" he asked, his heavy aura engulfing you when his arms wrapped fully around your body and he bent down to rest his head on your shoulder.

he quickly rose back up when he didn't feel you hug back, you were always hugging anakin, so something was definitely wrong. guilt washed over his face for not noticing your quivering lip and watery eyes.

"baby, what happened?" he asked, rubbing his thumb on the side of your face to try to offer you any bit of comfort he could give. "hurts ani" you whined, taking your palms and placing them on his chest, trying to push his body away from yours as the contact made your brain even more fuzzy than it already was.

"what hurts? did you trip? did someone do something to you?" he glanced over your whole body for any bruises or visible marks, even going so far as to kneel down slightly to gaze over your thighs because you were almost always falling over. your statement nearly gave him the shivers, the mere thought of something happening to you made anakin go crazy, and you knew that.

"no-no didn't fall." you shook your head, still pushed up softly against the wall in, what to him, looked like clear agony. "angel, you gotta tell me what's going on so i can help you, yeah? can't fix a problem if i don't know what it is"

you were embarrassed, because as innocent as you were, you knew that private parts were private, and you didn't know how he was going to react to sharing information about the feelings in your panties. but as conflicted as you were you needed these tingles to stop.

so you took his wrist, guiding his hand up your thigh and past your skirt, resting it to cup your heat through your panties. he looked up at you in realisation, biting his full bottom lip softly as his eyes narrowed in on you like a predator looking at his prey.

"it-it started yesterday when you came back from training and we were cuddling. i don't know what's happening ani, is there something wrong with me?" he let out a small 'fuck' at your statement, cursing himself for not noticing your state sooner, like the way your thighs were clenched and how you clung to him. even though he had known you for more than half of his life, he had no idea that you didn't know anything about the feelings you were having.

"no baby, there's nothing wrong with you. but you need to trust me if you want me to help you, ok?" he tried to be as soft as he could because he knew if he was too quick or aggressive in any way, you would turn into a pile of tears and embarrassment. you nodded with teary eyes, melting back into his touch and wrapping your hands around his neck.

he took this as the chance to slid his hands on the back of your upper thighs, lifting you up effortlessly as your legs wrapped around his waist. he swiped his thumb across your cheeks, softly wiping the tears that were running down your face, cooing to you to stop crying, and that it was all okay.

anakin placed you softly down on his bed, resting your head on your favourite pillow and kissing your bare midriff as he positioned himself above you. goosebumps trailed your skin as he slowly unzipped your skirt, maintaining eye contact with you the whole time. you couldn't even describe the feelings you were experiencing as you ended up only in panties, socks and anakin's shirt on his bed. in all fairness, you slept like this with him all the time, but with his hands toying with the waistband of your pink underwear, this felt a whole lot different.

"i'm gonna touch you right here princess, is that ok?" he said as he placed his finger right to your heat through the thin cotton on your underwear. it wasn't as though anakin was an unserious person, at all, but right now, you had never seen anakin look so stern in your life. you nodded quickly, ready for him to cure this unsettling feeling in your core. "words baby." he replied to your nodding.

"yes anakin, its ok." you giggled, using his full name to annoy him. it worked. you watched as he pulled your panties off, the cold air making you shiver. after pulling them all the way off your body, he threw your underwear somewhere in the room, too focused on the site in front of him to care.

"can't believe you're letting me do this baby, been dreaming about this pussy for years" he wasn't lying, he had been thinking about what you would taste like, feel like, moan like for years. he always knew you were innocent, and he did a lot to keep it that way, but the way you came to his room, thighs clenched and clueless at these new feelings made his dick strain in his pants.

but he knew you weren't ready for all of him just yet, because not to be obnoxious, but there was no way even a quarter of his cock would fit inside of you without making you scream in pain.

he leaned forward so his head was now between your legs, licking a thick stripe up your folds as you threw your head back in pleasure. he nearly let out a groan at the taste of you, dipping back down into your heat and moving his tongue all around your pussy.

"oh my- ani!" you had never felt a feeling like this ever before, like you were on a constant wave of euphoria that you were never going to come off of. he flicked his tongue on your clit multiple times, watching attentively as he made you putty in his hands.

he continued eating you out for what felt like hours until you were practically sobbing with pleasure. "stop fucking squirming" he spat, placing an iron grip on your waist as you moved below him, seething like you were holding the most desirable thing in the world away from him.

he took the time while he threw your legs over his shoulders to smile at you, his chin and lips practically glistening from your juices, making you whine. "makers, you taste fucking heavenly baby, can't believe you were keeping this from me" he groaned, his tongue now reaching unimaginable places inside of you as you felt even less grounded with your legs stretched over his shoulders.

"ani s-stop! feel like i'm gonna pee" you whined, desperately trying to push his head away from your core as you squirmed in embarrassment. "you're not gonna pee baby, you're gonna cum. that's a good thing yeah? just let go for me." you nodded unsurely, biting your lip as you let go.

you tried to muffle your moans as you felt the most immense feeling of pleasure you have ever experienced, scared you were going to wake the whole jedi temple. anakin flicked his tongue up and down your folds, exploring every inch of your heat as he worked you through your orgasm, wishing he had his camera to capture the look on your face.

"god baby, you're so pretty like this" he sighed, pushing himself up as he hovered above you. he passionately kissed you, letting you taste yourself as you whined. you let your head lull to the side of your pillow, momentarily shutting your eyes and only opening them as you felt anakin wipe a damp towel down your folds. he was smirking at you as you finally looked at him dazed, running his tongue across his bottom lip teasingly.

"can't believe i finally corrupted you pretty baby."

[princessbrunette]

rafe whos proud of u for being the bigger person for once ?? maybe in an argument w someone u are always the one throwing tantrums but for (once) u decided to keep the rage to urself and rafe is js so proud :(

🧁ಇ.ೀ

arguing with a friend over text was juvenile — rafe thought so anyway, but he also supposed that a girl like yourself wouldn’t wanna handle all her business face to face, or with violence such as he would.

you’d been in endless conflict lately. what about? he couldn’t tell you, but everyday it was a new argument with one of your friends which lead to a total, utter meltdown which he had to calm you down from. you didn’t take well to being accused of things, you didn’t like being treated poorly and you hated feeling misunderstood. that’s what he’d gathered from these out bursts anyway, usually explained through muffled babbling as he holds you tightly to his chest. you were like him in a sense sometimes, couldn’t control your emotions. however instead of lashing out, you just were a total cry baby.

he’d found you like that when he’d arrived home, being able to hear it all the way from downstairs. he sighs, jogging up the stairs to find you pacing his bedroom, phone tightly clutched infront of you, letting out loud sobs with your eyes glued to the screen.

“whats— what’s all this what’s going on?” rafe pauses in the doorway, dumbfounded and practically gaping at the fact this was happening again. you sniff harshly, voice high and defensive like rafe was the one attacking you.

“she said i’m a bad friend and i’m disloyal but you know i’m not you know i try—” you cough, and rafe walks in, setting his sunglasses and keys down on the dresser.

“who? same girl who was givin’ you trouble yesterday?” he squints, leaning against the dresser as he watches you pace around, an upset wreck.

“yes.” you whine, bringing a fingernail to your mouth as you continue to cry, reading over the message.

“alright, okay so what are you gonna do about it? ‘cos this can’t keep happening everyday baby you’re — you’re not in high school anymore.” he pushes, almost unable to believe for once that he was the voice of reason.

you think for a long time, letting out a sad sob as you lock your phone and drop it onto the bed, wiping your eyes. “be the bigger person.” you repeat his words, words he’s been encouraging you to follow since the first argument. it was difficult, you refused — and he didn’t fight you too hard on it. being the bigger person is hard when you’re being unfairly attacked.

“yeah? come over here.” he opens his arms and you drag your feet over, snivelling and pawing at your eyes. “its hard, alright? if anyone knows it’s me. but you’re… you’re so much better than these girls okay they’re nobodies. trust me. you’re doin’ a good thing kid. believe it.” he gently bats your hands away so he can thumb beneath your eyes instead, cupping your hot wet face with large coarse hands.

“not in high school anymore.” you repeat his words, voice raspy from your own crying and he nods slowly, eyes wide and intense as they stare into yours. he really wanted to get the message across.

“right. you’re a big girl now. time to do big girl things, yeah? when you’re with me, you—you can let all that shit go and lemme take care of things. but when it comes to your friends they’re just immature little girls and you gotta step up. like me, yeah?” he points to his chest in a quick succession of taps. “like daddy.”

you nod in his grasp, exhausted from it all. “okay.”

it’s then he lets you melt against him, cradling your body to his chest and rubbing your back with the wide expanse of his hand. “okay. i’m proud, don’t forget that.”

🧁ಇ.ೀ

[aayakashii]

I am once again presenting to you all a short comfort fic I made for myself after I got sad 🤲

too cute to be a bad boy

Warning: maybe just a bit of angst, but nothing else

“So you're telling me… You were on that train at that moment because you were at a concert?” Sho stopped cutting the bell pepper to stare at you from under his eyelashes.

“Um… I mean… Yeah…” you rubbed the back of your head, suddenly feeling self-conscious under his judgemental glare.

“That's a dumb way to go, I gotta say” he snickered and went back to chopping.

“Hey, I didn’t ‘go’ yet, okay? I’m still alive and I had to go to their concert. It was their last one, they disbanded after that.”

“Oh, I see, so it was a special concert, huh” he said, a bit of humor still present in his voice.

“Y-yeah… I mean, yeah. It was special. I would probably never see them again, at least not together. I had a lot of fun being part of the fandom, okay?” you pouted, and grabbed a stray french fry that laid on its counter, chomping on it.

“Hey, don’t eat that, that's old!” he widened his eyes.

“Well, what do you care, hm?” you said, dramatically raising your eyebrows as you glared at him “I’m gonna ‘go’ in like 10 months anyway, what’s a soggy french fry going to do?” you swallowed it as if to make your point clear.

Sho sighed, putting his cooking knife to the side.

“Hey, okay, I get it. I’m sorry for making fun of you. But... please don’t talk about yourself like that.” he looked at you, his eyes suddenly gloomy and regretful.

You avoided his gaze, staring at the floor. You could feel tears pricking at your eyes, as the weight of your own words seemed to dawn on you.

10 months.

And it felt like only yesterday that all you thought about was that stupid band.

“Hey, senpai.” You heard Sho gasp and he rounded the corner of his food truck’s counter, walking towards you. His hands held your arms tightly and he shook you a little in order to look at him. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.”

You hesitantly lifted your gaze to meet his. You didn’t know when you began letting the tears fall, but it seemed like biting your lips till they almost broke didn’t work as well as you planned.

You knew you weren’t crying because of Sho’s playfulness and you were pretty sure he also had enough emotional intelligence to understand that those were your unspoken fears taking over your body. But also, you didn’t feel like ruining what was supposed to be a fun date hangout with talks of your impending doom. You already had every single lonely waking moment to grieve yourself, you didn’t want to do that when you were with him. 

You sniffed and gave Sho’s forearms a gentle squeeze, and his tight grip on you loosened.

“It’s okay” you rubbed your eyes, drying up your tears. “It’s not your fault.” 

You looked up at him, a small reassuring smile on your face, and he sighed.

His arms hovered around you and, for a moment, you thought he would pull you into a hug. Instead, he patted your head, much like his captain usually did.

Sho trudged back inside his food truck, rubbing his neck, a conflicted expression plastered on his face for all to see.

You knew he didn't know what to say or what to do. Having a metaphorical guillotine hanging over you sure made it hard for people not to walk on eggshells. But if there was anyone you wanted to be comfortable around, it was Sho.

So you would have to find a way out of this little hole you had dug for the both of you.

“You know” you began “I was just crying because I miss Hizu soooo much” you said with your hand hiding the smirk that began to form on your lips at your silly attempt to make the atmosphere loosen up.

Sho raised an eyebrow before resuming his chopping, as you scrolled through your phone.

“Hizu…? Who’s that.”

You turned your phone to face him with a playful smile on your face.

A photo of a man with brown hair and dark eye makeup filled the screen. He was shirtless with just a black faux fur jacket haphazardly thrown over his shoulder and he appeared to be singing on stage, if the sweat on his body was anything to go by. He looked angry as he was (apparently) yelling something into the microphone, while one of his hands touched his own bare chest.

Sho choked on his saliva when he turned his gaze to your phone.

“Wh-what’s that?!” he said, after a coughing fit that left you laughing loudly, the previous tears completely forgotten.

“Not ‘what’! ‘Who’, please be respectful!” you said, faking outrage “And this is Hizu, he was the vocalist of the band I liked, obviously.”

Taking a sip of water, Sho turned to you, flustered.

“Wow senpai” his voice cracked while he smiled awkwardly “Didn't peg you as someone who liked this… This type of guy…” he muttered, trying to find his bearings before beginning to chop his vegetables again.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me yet, my dear.” you put your phone back in your pocket, feeling triumphant after catching him off guard and getting such a cute reaction from him. If there was any reason for you to beat your curse, you were pretty sure one of them was to keep on teasing him.

“I thought you were too nice to like a scary type of guy…” he grumbled again, deep in thought, eyebrows knitted and the tip of ears pink, as he finished his task and began mixing everything inside a bowl.

“Whaaaat. You’ll see that, in fact, I am pretty attracted to bad boys.” you said, resting your elbows on his counter as you leaned your head on your hands.

Sho’s head quickly snapped towards you, and you smiled happily when you noticed the blush spread from his ears to his cheeks. He scratched his cheek and looked away, walking towards his fridge to grab the hamburger meat he needed for his recipe – and NOT to cool his face down, no, not at all.

“Um, yeah. I sure hope you like bad boys.”

You giggled at his bashfulness. Your kouhai was just too cute to be a bad boy, but you weren't going to say that. At least not at that moment.

Full masterlist

[mythicalmaven]

Beyond Boundaries • Oscar Piastri (PART ONE)

Here it is! The first chapter of my new Oscar Piastri friends to lovers series! The series will be containing a lot of smut, but will also contain fluff, angst and more!❤️ I will try to post part 2 as soon as possible! Please let me know in the comments what you think, and also let me know if you have any ideas that I could maybe implement!

↳pairing: oscar piastri x female!reader (norris!reader) ↳word count: 3,5K ↳ parts: part one (this one), part two, part three, part four, part five, part six ↳summary: Since Oscar joined McLaren as your brother’s teammate, you two have quickly become best friends. Recently promoted to be Oscar’s physiotherapist, you both relish the opportunity to spend more time together. However, as the new role brings you closer, Oscar finds himself grappling with unexpected feelings and rising tension, leaving him conflicted about how to handle his emotions

↳chapter warnings: bestfriend!reader, eventual friends to lovers, best friends who are secretly in love with eachother, sexual content (no actual sex in this chapter yet), sexual tension, sexual thoughts, NSFW, 18+ content (mdni), oscar just getting turned on, little bit of fluff, brother's teammate trope (reader is lando's sister)

"Excited for your first day?" you heard your brother Lando say as the both of you were on your way to the track.

Your brother was referring to your first day as a physio for McLaren. For the last year you've worked as an assistant in the medical team, but since you recently graduated your physio degree, your boss offered you a promotion. Oscar's physio was leaving and they quickly needed someone else to fulfill the job, which you seemed the ideal candidate for. One of the reasons behind that being that you and Oscar already knew each other very well, which meant he didn't have to go through the whole process of getting to know his new physiotherapist, which your boss thought to be ideal.

You turned around and smiled at him "Yes, very much so" you replied honestly, raking your hand through your hair out of habit.

Initially, you were hesitant about accepting the job offer, as it involved a lot of physical contact with Oscar, such as massages. Your concern wasn’t about your own comfort, but whether Oscar would be okay with it. However, Oscar assured you that he preferred you over a stranger, trusting you completely. Given your naturally touchy friendship, both of you agreed that it wouldn’t be awkward at all.

As the both of you approached the entrance door of the hospitality. Lando looks at you one more time "I think you'll do a good job, baby sis. I believe in you" he says as he pulls you in for a hug "I gotta go now tho, Jon is waiting for me"

You smile back at him "Tell Jon that I said hi!" you called after him as Lando casually strolled away.

"Will do" you heard him calling from the distance

A smile crept up on your face as the enthousiasm of your new job poisition dawned on you. Here you were, in the McLaren hospitality in Bahrein. You have worked with McLaren for a year already, but now that you're here, actually doing the job that you worked so hard for, made you feel kind of proud.

----- 30 minutes later -----

As you enter Oscar's driving room, the familiar scent of Oscar's perfume fills your nostrils, feeling a sense of calmness washing over you. Oscar always had that effect on you. If you were honest with yourself, you have had a bit of crush on Oscar for a while now. He made you feel safe, you could always have a good laugh and not to forget, he was very good sight for sore eyes.

You did decide to not act on it for multiple reasons, though. First of all you were pretty sure you were not even his type. Second, he is your brother's teammate, so even if he felt the same, you don't think Lando would appreciate it all that much. And last, but certainly not least. You were closer colleagues now and it would probably be not done in your position. That's mostly why you decided to just suppress your feelings and accept your relationship with each other as purely friendly. He is your best friend after all, which you were really thankful for.

The feelings you were experiencing for Oscar weren't any reason for you to doubt taking the job. You were confident that the amount of physical contact involved with Oscar in this new position, wouldn't stir any emotions. After all, you frequently massaged friends during their appointments without it affecting you, so you were certain it wouldn't be an issue now. But, oh, how wrong you were...

As you walked in, you saw Oscar turn in his seat, a wide grin spreading across his face "Hey stranger" he said calmy as he walked over to you, to envelop you in a warm hug "Long time no see"

You sigh and relax into the hug "Way too long" you replied, smiling into his shoulder "How was your time off? Did you do anything interesting?" you asked him as you pulled back from the hug, taking a seat on the bench behind you.

"I had a good time! Went to visit my family and took some time to relax. But I'm also glad to be on track" he said, his voice laced with happiness "How about you?" he asked.

While you were explaining your experiences, Oscar took his time to look at you. His best friend standing in front of him. Beautiful as always, he also noticed you got tanned over the break. Your eyes now seeming brighter and more beautiful in contrast with your skin tone.

"Well, Lando and I went on a holiday to Indonesia with our parents and other siblings. So that was pretty fun! But i missed being on track as well. And you of course!" you said, ending with a giggle as you said the last part.

You chatted easily, catching up on everything they went through. As well as the upcoming season and what you were expecting. After a while, you glanced at the watch around your wrist and then back at the boy in front of you "Alright, so let's talk business" you laughed "As your new physio, i of course need to know if there are any specific things you prefer during your massages and treatments. Are there any muscle groups that have been giving you trouble?"

Oscar scratched his head as he thought about your question "Well, my lower back has been a bit tight lately, as well as my shoulders too, especially after long training sessions. I usually like firm pressure, but not too hard, if that makes sense"

"Got it" you nodded, making a mental note "What about any areas that are particularly sensitive? or maybe areas that need some extra attention"

Oscar was very glad that you were his new physiotherapist. He trusted you and knew you very well. It was a relief really, that he didn't have to get to know anyone new.

"Well, after a race, my thighs are prone to feel very sore. So I always seem to benefit from a massage after the race" Oscar said, looking around the room a little.

"Sounds good! Maybe we could start today with a massage, to get you a little relaxed before FP1 this afternoon" you told him, your tone professional as well as very friendly "And then afterwards we can make a plan for the next sessions, training wise"

"Sounds perfect" Oscar smiled at you, his confidence in you evident "I'm really glad you're here, y/n. It feels good to have you here, it feels comfortable. They couldn't have chosen a better person for the job"

A smile crept on your face as you looked at your best friend "I still have to prove that part, Osc" you laughed "Maybe I suck at massaging, you don't know yet!"

Oscar let out a laugh and rolled his eyes "I highly doubt that"

You giggled and looked at Oscar again "But for real, I'm also glad I'm here. It feels safe and trusted"

-------

It was already time for lunch break and Lando, Oscar and Jon were currently sitting at a table in the hospitality, while you were finishing up some tasks before you were gonna eventually join them.

It was Jon who spoke up, after swallowing a bite of his pasta "You know, I was surprised when I heard that your sister took the offer for the job"

Lando raised his eyebrow, looking at Jon questioning "Why?" he wondered.

"Well" Jon started, directing his gaze to the Australian across from him "To be fair, I was convinced Oscar and Y/n had a little thing going on, or at least it seemed like you guys are very much attracted to each other. You know, all those shared glances and inside jokes—it's pretty obvious"

Jon explained that the unspoken attraction between Oscar and Lando's sister could have influenced her decision not to take the job. She might have considered the potential complications it could introduce to their budding personal connection, opting instead to maintain a professional distance to preserve whatever was developing between them outside of work.

As the words left Jon's mouth Oscar's eyed widened and he turned as red as a beet, all while Lando choked on his water "You thought what, mate?" lando coughed out.

"Me and Y/n?" Oscar questioned, trying to hide his nerves and pretend he's not severely blushing, feeling caught in the act.

"Come on, mate. It's obvious. Have you seen the way she looks at him? Even a blind person could see that" he states, looking at Oscar again with a laugh "And you're way too obvious as well, Piastri"

"I.. uh" Oscar stammered, feeling nervous and flustered

Oscar looks down at the table, feeling the blush on his cheeks spread all the way to his neck. He couldn't deny that he always has felt a certain attraction towards you. You were definitely his type, and when he thought about it. He could definitely see himself dating you.

Before, he hadn't really given it much thought; after all, in his mind, you were off-limits anyway, being Lando's sister. However, ever since you took the job offer, he found his thoughts drifting towards you way more often. At first he didn't think much of it, he was mostly just very excited about the fact that he could spend more time with his best friend. Initially, he hadn't thought too much of it, just excited about the prospect of spending more time with his best friend. But as the first day of working together drew nearer, he began to dwell on it more, realizing that it stirred emotions within him. He couldn't quite pinpoint when it had started, his feelings for you. But it was that moment that he realized it.

He found himself replaying your interactions in his mind on a daily basis: the way you would smile at him from across the room, your eyes sparkling with amusement at his jokes; the times you stayed late in his hotelroom after races, sharing stories and aspirations over takeout dinners; the subtle touches of your hand brushing against his during casual conversations, sending a jolt of electricity through him.

Oscar took a deep breath to get himself together. To be the coolheaded australian that he normally is, and he must say, he nailed it pretty well, he thought himself.

"No worries Lando, we're not a thing" Oscar replied

Lando laughed at the situation "You know, Oscar, if I ever found out you were dating my sister, I'd have to keep a close eye on you. Protective big brother mode activated!" he said with a grin on his face "and if I ever found out you would've hurt her. You'd have to run. Because when you hurt my sister, I'll go as quick as Verstappen in a Red Bull! And I'm not joking"

"Don't worry, Lando. I'm not dating your sister, and I'm also not planning on it either. I know she's off limits" Oscar replied, still feeling a little flustered about the situation "And besides that, of course, I'm not blind, she's very beautiful. But I don't have any feelings for her. She's my best friend and that's all. I don't see her like that" he lied, trying to keep a straight face, hoping his cover is convincing enough.

Lando seemed to believe what Oscar said and you could see a sense of relief washing over him. Glad that things weren't getting more complicated than they needed to be. Jon on the other hand wasn't convinced at all, and could see right through Oscar's lies. But he consciously decided not to say anything, for Oscar's sake.

_____

A few hours after lunch time it was time for your first physiotherapy session with Oscar. You were preparing the massage table in the room as you heard the door creak, a sign that someone was entering the room. It was Oscar, dressed in his standard McLaren attire.

The atmosphere that Oscar took with him seemed different than it normally was. He looked a little on edge. Something you weren't used from him. It was something that Oscar hoped you wouldn't notice. He noticed that the whole ordeal from today's lunch kept bugging his thoughts. Much to his own annoyance.

"Anything on your mind?" you questioned, wondering if something was going on in your best friends brain.

Oscar shook his head and shrugged his shoulders "Nothing much, honestly. Just having a sore back" he says, not lying about the last part. He actually got a painful back.

You shot him an honest smile "Good to hear, let's get going then" you said, patting your hand on the massage table "Well, casanova, get your clothes off then" you joked

Oscar Piastri burst into laughter, his eyes lighting up and a broad grin spreading across his face, as you delivered the punchline of the joke. The infectious sound of his amusement filled the room, showcasing the genuineness and shared sense of humor between you two.

The young Australian driver noticed that his nervous demeanor started to subdue, being replaced by the calmness that he usually experiences when he is around you. For now it seemed he's actually able to pretend there are no feelings involved. Pretend that right now as if it's just Oscar and you, his best friend, glad that you get to spend more time together now with your new job. For now it seemed like he could

Once Oscar got rid of his shirt, you were confronted with a sight you've been often enough. The driver without a shirt, his muscles present on his undressed upper body. A sight that you never thought to be unpleasant. After all, Oscar Piastri was a very very good looking young man.

He hooked his thumbs around the waistband of his trousers "You want me to take those off too?" you heard him ask.

You nodded "Yeah, that would be the best. Was planning on massaging your legs ass well, think you could use that before FP1"

"Honestly looking so forward to a massage again, my muscles are sooo tight" he complained, pulling his trousers down, revealing his black Calvin Klein boxers.

You felt your breath quicken a little at the sight. You've seen him in swim shorts before, but never in a tight boxer. It did things to you that you felt that you had to push away as quick as you could.

'Come on y/n, it's your best friend, ignore the feelings, stay professional...' you thought to yourself.

As Oscar lowered himself onto the the table, resting his head in the therefore intended headrest, you felt yourself getting back into reality. The room was quiet, save for the soft hum of ambient music and the occasional rustle of your movements. You walked over to the cabinet near the door the grab massage oil "Osc, would you prefer a self heating oil or maybe something with a certain scent?"

"Hmmm" he hummed "Self heated sounds nice, I guess"

You grabbed the bottle from the cabinet and took it with you towards Oscar "Could feel a bit cold in the beginning, but this should warm up with the friction of my hands"

Once you unscrewed the cap of the bottle, a gentle, soothing herbal like smell filled the air as you poured a small amount of the oil into your hands, rubbing them together to activate the heat. Oscar tensed slightly, a mix of nerves and excitement coursing through him.

As the first few drops of the oil touched his back, Oscar felt a the cold you warned him for spread across his skin. Your hands, firm yet gentle, began to work the oil into his muscles with slow, deliberate movements. In no time he felt the once so cold oil, turning into an ejoyable warmth. Each stroke of your hands sent a shiver down his spine, not just from the physical sensation, but from the awareness of who was administering it. He closed his eyes, trying to focus on the relaxation, but his mind kept drifting back to his feelings for you

As you knead the tension from Oscar's muscles, the touch of your hands feeling different than usual. The both of you have always had a touchy friendship, so he was used to it in some kind of way, but the way it made him feel today was different.

The intimacy of your touch, he hoped to be able to experience purely professional and friendly, now stirs something deeper within him. He could feel his heart beating a little faster, a silent hope mingling with the pleasure of the massage. The accidental brush of your hand against his neck makes him catch his breath, the line between professional care and personal desire blurring in the quiet intensity of the moment.

"How's the pressure?" you asked softly, trying to make your voice sound as calm as possible, to make this session for him as relaxing as you could.

"Perfect," he managed to reply, his voice slightly huskier than usual.

You felt yourself blush at the tone of his voice, it sounded raspier than usual "I'm moving on to your neck now, if that's okay with you?"

"Hmm, yes" he hummed in agreement.

Your hands moved up to Oscar's neck with a gentle touch, starting with your thumbs, rubbing in half circles on either side. Each stroke ended at the nape of his neck. Oscar let out a deep sigh, one so profound that you almost thought it sounded like a soft moan. But that couldn't be, could it?

Lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice Oscar adjusting his position slightly. Unbeknownst to you, it was due to a certain tightness that had started to form in his boxers. One that he tried his utter best to get rid off.

"Are you okay, I'm not hurting you, am I?" you asked, noticing him adjusting his position again

Oscar's breath hitched in his throat. "N-No," he coughed. He wanted to come up with an excuse, maybe tell you that his leg had fallen asleep and he had to adjust because of that, but no words came out. He was too afraid he might actually moan, because while he was having his inner crisis, your hands were still working magic on his neck. The sensation was making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, goosebumps forming on his body, and turning him on in a way he never expected.

You noticed his hesitation and the slight tremor in his voice, making you pause for a moment "Are you sure? You can tell me if something's wrong," you said softly, your hands slowing their movements but not stopping. You wanted to ensure he was comfortable and relaxed, but there was an underlying concern in your voice that you hoped he didn't notice.

Oscar nodded, trying to regain his composure "100%" he said softly, attempting to sound confident "I'm honestly just really enjoying the m-massage.. fee-feels like my muscles really needed that" he said, stuttering slightly, as he felt another wave of arousal surging through him.

"That's good to hear," you replied, your lips close to his ear as you leaned in to apply a bit more pressure to his neck. This caused Oscar to subconsciously shift his hips against the table, seeking some friction, and another almost inaudible moan escaped his lips.

"Could you turn on your back for me, Osc? I think your thighs could use some work as well, I'm sure that will give you some relief during the training" you proposed, you hand now resting on his lower back.

Oscar's eyes shot open and his cheeks started to flush. The warmth of the blush crept up from his neck, coloring his skin with a rosy hue. He shifted slightly, clearly aware of the sudden heat rising to his cheeks. Feeling embarrassed, he hesitated; turning around wasn't an option as he could feel his member straining against his boxers. There was no way he could turn without you noticing the bulge.

'Well, here goes nothing' he thought to himself, attempting to devise some sort of feeble excuse for why he couldn't turn around.

"Ehm…" just as he started to speak, the sound of your phone ringing cut him off.

You reached for the back pocket of your trousers to grab your phone and check if it was important "Oh.. it's Jon, I gotta take that real quick. Is that okay with you?"

"Y-Yeah, sure!" Oscar replied, his voice still sounding husky.

"I'll be back as soon as I can" you said as you headed towards the door, answering your phone in the meantime "Hi, Jon"

The sexually frustrated driver let out a sigh of relief once you closed the door. He flipped on his back, looking at the ceiling, but quickly hiding his face in his hands "Saved by the bell" he muttered under his breath.

Next part

Author's note: The upcoming chapters will be a lot more smutty than this one was :) so, don't worry lol! This one lacked that mostly because I wanted this chapter to be a little bit more about building the tension between Oscar and the reader, so that the experience of the smut in the upcoming chapters would be more enjoyable to read since the plot was build up more :)

Taglist: @aceyalonso

[azure-cherie]

PAC :

What's in your store for January

Pile 1 -3

Hello love's hope you had a very happy and fruitful new year , I'm praying for the happiness and well being of all of us one more year together I'm so grateful for each one of youuu

Please choose using your intuition and take what resonates

If you'd like a personalized reading for new year

Paid readings , paid readings 2 , masterlist

Pile 1 :

First of all what are you guys even dealing with good lord The energy is pretty heavy , I will not be surprised if you have prominent Saturn in your charts this month I believe you are dealing with karmic cycles , Things ending in general, you might be a bit shaken up soon something you thought never would happen will happen

I'm sensing career or home sector fights could be there as well as inner conflicts beware and take precautions don't get too caught up about what others have to say rather choose your own story this also indicates you might soon take a stand for yourself its really required something has to come to an end because the time is over now you are to urge for more ! Financially! Abundance is written for you this time your creativity will pay off I know you like you play with fire but remember life moulds you like a clay some fire glazes some melts you gotta choose your own battles why do I feel like I'm talking to myself lol .

You will understand the worth of spontaneous plans soon sometimes you gotta do stuff for the sake of doing it and you just gotta act wild just be careful about the fact that everyone you go out with isn't a friend every co worker doesn't mean good for you learn to see through people's mask ! Theres one video by persephonesmind its perfect she explains it really well , followed by ten of swords some of you might experience a rock bottom moment however it isn't for everyone but with the world be assured you will pick yourself up this might seem like a bad ending but it's a good one or turn out to be good it's a matter of time bae anyone who tries to play you cheat on you will be ashamed themselves because they will see the purity in your heart .towards the end of the month I see some enemies becoming friends.

Pile 2 :

You're a bad bitch period !! This month is about embodying the best version of yourself move on despite the snakes around you ignore the people you're gonna be investing on something that is worth it it's a sign ! Friendships are something you will be blessed this month new and old you will also actively let go of a fear of yours I heart heights and abandonment issues.

If you're looking for commitment from someone it will be given this month like engagements marriage yay social media fame is also written there would be more family functions to attend to I see more active energy in this pile. You will understand the worth of standing alone and work your intuition through difficult situations .Your dreams might be a clear indicator of something also I feel you're making someone cry or someone is making you cry ask advice from someone who's been there in your situation you can also ignore if the situation isn't as important I also feel ignorance energy I guess it's good because you're also healing from abandonment issues .

You'll be doing some course on money management or get advise from your elders on your resources. Sometimes we make our own problems dont get sucked into that take time but let your loved ones know that you need it ! Also you really need that money management advice as you might end up losing something but I also don't think it will he a bad loss ! Sometimes sacrifices are necessary you might understand the worth of small losses now but that will protect from bigger issues later.

Pile 3 :

I don't dress for women I don't dress for men lately I've been dressing for revenge! That's your main mood this January you're gonna show everyone who didn't believe in you what you're capable of you're going new heights reaching new goals making new ways I'm so proud of you

You have struggled a lot to do this actions manifesting you are getting closer to what you want , might fetch yourself a new leadership position this month you're gonna be an example an epitome of grown beside the struggles because you're so ready to work despite all the sneaking going on behind your back you're gonna be doing the thing needed to defeat your enemies you will undergo momentary defeat and might cry for a while because you might feel all forces are against you this is the time to pour into your inter child

When trauma shows up remember to shadow work nothing ever goes away one needs to heal with it don't get swayed away with temptations and fake promises I heard devil is strong but so is the knight know that your emotional strength will lead you through this you have to be more intune with your emotions but also lead with logic it's a hard balance to learn but once you're on it you become undefeated and you will be I'm so sure about that.

Thank you so much for reading

Have a great day/night ahead ❤️

[soft-mafia]

Take Me With You [Buggy x Reader]

warnings: fem reader, oc insert, reader is around the same age as the straw hats, mentioned age gap, Buggy being kind of a perv, short drabble

a/n: Reader running off with Buggy is starting to live in my mind rent free. Also urrrgggg Buggy is so Salvatore Ultraviolence Born To Die coded

part 2

“Sorry kiddos, I would love to stay and make things right, but it’s time to exit stage left.” Buggy said as soon as he got his body back, and ran off away from all of the conflict.. what was he gonna do now dammit? I mean it wouldn’t be long before his crew found him, it shouldn’t be that long right? He was sure they weren’t all a bunch of idiots—

“Buggy! Wait!!” He heard a voice call out from behind him, he paused and turned around, seeing Y/n there. He smiled sweetly at her, “Oh, hey hot stuff.” He grinned at her, “Listen.. it’s not you, it’s me, I really gotta-”

“-Take me with you.” Y/n said, slowly stepping closer to Buggy, looking at him with sadness in her eyes— oh shit. Maybe Buggy went a bit overboard with the sweet talk with this girl.. she was the only one that was gentle with his head, he wanted to stay on her good side but he never imagined that she would actually FALL for him. Why? Buggy took a few seconds to process what she said, “Huh?” He croaked out.

“Please take me with you!!” She said again.

Buggy’s mouth was slightly agape, he then sighed and stepped closer to her, putting his hands on her shoulders before eying her up, “Listen, baby, as much as I appreciate you for taking care of my head.. I think I’m a bit too old for you.”

Y/n furrowed her brows, then looked down at the ground, “I.. I don’t care.” She whispered. Buggy’s jaw clenched, he just couldn’t.. leave her. He had to admit she was cute, and when she had held his head close to her tits it felt like heaven.. he looked up and sighed heavily, “C’mon baby.. don’t-..” he sighed again, “Stop acting like that, stop it.” She was acting so sad.. the thought of how sad and lonely Y/n would be if he left her here was starting to creep into his mind, and it was making him feel like an asshole.

“What about your friends huh?” Buggy tried to reason with her, “And.. trust me you wouldn’t like it on my crew, you’re way too hot for that.” He moved his hands down to her arms.

“I only knew them for like.. a few days, I can’t really call them my friends.” Y/n mumbled, looking up at Buggy through her eyelashes.

Puppy dog eyes?! C’mon, she’s fucking killing me! Buggy sighed, “Well you don’t even know me at all!” He growled.

“Then let me get to know you! Please! Please take me with you..! I know I’d feel safer around you!” Y/n stepped closer to him, Buggy could see his ship in the horizon, thank god.

Why him of all people?! Safe?! He literally tried to kill the people she was with, AND her. He was confused, but he didn’t really have much time to think this through.

Buggy put his hands on Y/n’s waist and looked down at her, should he really do this? He exhaled, “Ok. Fine.” He grabbed her forearm and started heading for the shore, dragging her along with him, “It took those fuckers way too long to find me.” He grumbled under his breath.

Y/n felt her heart fluttering, he’s actually taking me with him!! She couldn’t believe this was happening.. the way he was holding her, the way he looked at her, she was swooning so hard..

She caught up with him, walking by his side.

[drdemonprince]

Re: autistic advice; i keep seeing people making fun of stuff like "are you in a place to hear bad news" or scripts like that. I grew up in an environment where it was common practice to just drop heavy subjects on people out of the blue, & I still find that intensely uncomfortable. But I've now had multiple people tell me that it makes them feel shitty when I ask, for example, "are you up for a dark subject?" & I don't really know how to square it away. I want to make sure that I'm not stepping on anyone's toes or making them feel ambushed or trapped, but apparently it makes some people feel like they're not allowed to have their feelings. I end up feeling pretty shitty about it, because like... it feels like either I have to be Rude (because it DOES feel rude to just drop a dark topic on someone) &/or risk having something shitty I can't deal with dropped in my lap, or else really upset people. I guess... is there a way to navigate this?

I would recommend being more specific.

People find phrases like "Are you in a place to hear something that might hurt you?" and "Are you up for a dark subject?" to be a bit presumptuous about what their emotional reactions will be or what they are capable of handling. It also can make what would have otherwise been a very unremarkable exchange become tinged with anticipatory anxiety.

When someone asks me a question like "are you up to hear something dark?" I might feel coddled and condescended to, rather than emotionally respected. Or if they ask me "are you prepared to hear something that might hurt you?" / "are you up for a serious conversation?" I think they're about to drop some serious emotional bomb on me, like that they're friend-dumping me for something horrible that I didn't realize I did. Then when it ends up being a meme they want to share or a question about a celebrity lawsuit or something i'm kind of pissed at the false alarm and the coddling that, rather than protecting me, made me feel worse.

In either case, rather than giving me time to emotionally prepare or interact when I am ready, these vague questions have introduced some kind signal of social or emotional threat. If anything, it increases the felt urgency to just have the damn conversation already and see what kind of monster is lurking behind the person's words. It makes me *less* likely to exercise control over when the conversation happens or when I see the upsetting thing.

So be specific. "Do you wanna see a disgusting meme?" "I want your opinion on something, but the question touches on sexual assault. Is that okay to talk about?" "I want to talk to you about a conflict I'm having with my other partner." "Can I ask you your opinion on this transphobia discourse?" Etc.

The more specific you can be about the subject and why you are asking about it, the more power you are giving the other person to actually decide what they want to engage with. When someone asks me if I am willing to discuss something dark, I really have no idea what to say. They're imposing their judgement of what is a dark or upsetting topic onto me, when really they have no idea what I might find triggering and what I might really enjoy getting to talk about.

Rather than trying to protect me from something I haven't even encountered yet, you gotta let me encounter it, and actually trust that I will take care of myself. If I don't want to talk about sexual assault I won't, if I don't want to look at gross imagery I'll say no, if hearing one more bad thing about your other partner is going to make my jealousy fume, I am responsible for handling that. You're not responsible for my emotions.

It's good to notice which subjects your friends are especially sensitive to and what big triggers they have so that you can be considerate. My friends know I cant look at lots of blood flowing out of someone for instance and dont send me visuals/fics that feature, say, wrists being slit or blood being drawn. But if they forgot, I'd understand and just look away and squeal oh no i cant look at that get it away. And that would be fine. They are not responsible for my reactions to things.

[mafiaanomaly]

"Morning Routine"

Pairing: Miguel O' hara x Reader

Tags: Fluff, a bit of flirt in the end

Summary: Reader woke up early in the morning to get ready for work but reader is trap in Miguel's arms, Miguel was pretending that he was still a sleep as he was acting very clingy today...

so here's the thing : Miguel O'hara is a light sleeper. an incredibly light sleeper, which isn't surprising-- what, given the nature of his job being spiderman, protecting the multi verse and everything he's ever had to endure.

oh? accidentally drop your phone on your face at an ungodly hour while he's sleeping next to you? he's awake. roll over in bed with utmost caution? he's awake.

breathe? oh, he's definitely awake.

you blindly reach for your phone on the nightstand, sleep very much still heavy on your eyes. you squint when you glance at the time, suddenly very hateful of your phone's auto brightness adjustment as it blinds you. that's certainly one way to wake up, huh?

the time reads 7:09am. you've got to leave for work in about 30 minutes, which is fine. no rush, no problem. except that--

well, except that Miguel is laying on top of you, head on your chest, lulled to sleep by the sound of your heart. it's become a habit of sorts-- the way he seeks comfort in your existence, the depth of your humanity an anchor & serenity in his life as you weave your fingers through his hair, slowly push him to the edge of slumber in peaceful means. it's reverent, holy, you think, and had you not been working today, you think you would have been able to stay in bed with him all day.

"Miggy?" your voice is quiet, soft-- you wish to gently break his slumber, hand gently patting his back.

he doesn't wake up. you call his name again, pat him a little bit harder. he still doesn't wake. you're insistent on avoiding rude awakenings, so you try this for a few more minutes, no longer groggy and now filled with a slight determination.

7:16am. you need to get ready.

you lean your head back into the pillow, glare at the ceiling.

here's another thing : Miguel O'hara is also a liar.

heavy sleeper, my ass, you think. he tends to be clingier after returning from missions or from HQ after work, which is entirely understandable, and you truly do not mind, but you really, really, don't want to deal with another scolding from your boss. you still entirely, listen to the sound of his breathing.

yeah. he's awake.

"Miguel O' hara. you are awake."

he holds his breath instinctively. you feel it.

"listen, pretty boy. i gotta get ready for work." your fingers run through his messy bed head. "i need you to move."

he doesn't move. doesn't even react. he keeps up the facade.

7:19am. jesus christ, Migg.

you pinch the bridge of your nose, let out a sigh. you try-- keyword being try, to sit up, but suddenly he's so much heavier, and you realize that he becomes dead weight just to make this so much harder-- which says a lot, because he's already incredibly muscular, and god, you think you can win against those arms? think again.

"Miguel, i swear--"

"call in."

when you lie back down, a means of waving the white flag, he finally looks up at you, dark brown eyes gentle and exhausted. there's something so incredibly tender in the way his gaze meets yours, hand reaching for yours as if it's instinct. you're the one holding your breath now, swallowing hard when he smiles that reserved smile that only you have the pleasure of seeing.

"stay with me, please." he squeezes your hand, once, twice, three times, and somewhere in that means an i love you, and you both know this.

you can't win. you can never win against him.

7:27am. oh, whatever, it doesn't matter anymore, you think, so you set your phone aside, focus on Miguel instead.

he notices the conflict in your eyes, then a brief contemplation, and the quiet admittance of defeat. he feels your body relax beneath his as you squeeze his hand four times, the kindest of smiles falling on your lips.

"fine, pretty boy. guess i'm sick, huh?"

"got a cold?"

"hm? sure."

he grins-- that shy little grin that you love so much, and you pinch his cheek, the curl of your lips growing ever so slightly.

"what a shame," he murmurs, "guess i should warm you up."

"i lied. suddenly i feel fine. i'm going to work."

"no, wait--"

[cryingisnecessaryfanfics]

Genshin characters and you putting lotion on their scars

Hiiii. So I have many many scars and this morning while I was putting lotion on I thought, huh wouldn't it be nice to have someone do this for me? To give such a mundane act of care... so romantic! 

Anyways, not everyone has scars like me but all our favorite genshin boys and girls are fighters and that means they have to have some sort of scar! 

Feel free to request more characters for a part two to this! I'll be doing a part two regardless, but if you have a great idea for a character I'll definitely incorporate it! 

Characters: Diluc, Tartaglia, Kazuha, and Beidou. 

part. 2

Diluc 

We all know that Diluc is commonly head cannoned to have a fuck ton of scars. Bro probably doesn't do shit with them either. You'd probably catch him with the incessant itch. Dear god, that is horrible, for you non-scar havers, the itch is nonstop, and when you scratch it's painful like a rash except all burny and dry. Please help him moisturize his scars. He's gotta be in so much pain. 

You've caught him with his hand under his shirt again, the rapid scratching looking frantic as he itches. 

"Diluc," you murmur a hand catching his arm and stilling his movements. "Did you put on your lotion this morning?" 

You watch him sigh, his scratching hand reluctantly making its way to yours instead. 

"No love, I didn't have time." 

"You can't not have time for your health Diluc!" You chastise him gently, though your tone holds some frustration. You're already moving to the bedroom, dragging him along and pushing him onto the bed. 

"Stay." You say with a pointed finger and you move to the connected bathroom, fetching the lotion out of the cabinet. 

Diluc has already taken his shirt off by the time you get back to the bedroom, resigned to his fate. You smile at him in approval and his gaze softens just a bit. 

"You have to be doing this every day," you remind him and you can practically hear him rolling his eyes. 

"I know." He retorts but it lacks the sarcasm and retains the hint of affection he tries to suppress. 

"Are you sure? Cause you can't seem to do it properly anyways." You mumble and he huffs the slightest laugh. You can't help your heart melt every time he does it, even if it's small. You can't help your smile either, as you gather lotion on your fingertips and start to spread it onto his skin. 

Diluc seems to enjoy your ministrations because he lets out a hum in contentment, eyes falling closed as you massage the lotion into his skin. 

You let your hands glide along his chest, spreading across his scars as you admire and recall each one. 

"Thank you, my love." 

Tartaglia

I personally head cannon Ajax to have self-harm scars but I won't mention anything about it here. I think he probably has really erratic and odd scars. The abyss probably had all kinds of horrors with different ways of causing harm. But since Ajax is the type to purposely get himself into a fight he'll most certainly lose, I also think he's the type to purposely let himself get injured for the thrill of it. He would wear his scars as a sort of armor, he acts cocky about them but is actually quite shameful. 

You catch his eyes lingering in the mirror just before you bathe together. He can't help but feel conflicted over the scars he's accumulated. On one hand, he feels proud that he could have survived such horrible atrocities. Gone through hell and come out the other side with battle scars and his life. On the other hand, he now has to live with permanent markings on his body, an equally permanent reminder of the past that haunts him. 

“Ajax?” You murmur, a hand finding its way to his bicep, absent-mindedly tracing the scars that reside there. “Are you alright?” 

Your voice snaps him out of his trance-like state and he once again puts on his cheerful facade. 

“Just admiring my amazing body!” He quips and winks at you in the mirror but you frown at his masked emotions. 

“Don't bullshit me, Ajax.” He all but flinches at your harsh reply. “I know you better than that, love.” 

His mask falls and the man you know returns, a frown adorning his boyish features. You follow his gaze to your hand on his arm and suddenly you know. He must see the realization on your face because he speaks up before you can say anything. 

“You know me better than anyone.” He sighs and his hand comes up to cover yours. “I just don't like them is all.” He doesn't need to state it outright, he knows you know what he means. 

“If it means anything, I like them.” Your words are hushed and he can feel your hand leave his body as you shift away from him. 

“Why’s that?” He asks as you busy yourself looking through the cabinets. 

“Reminds me that you're not perfect. That you have weaknesses just like anyone else. That you're more human than you like to believe.” You say this nonchalantly like it's not the most genuine thing anyone's ever said about him. He watches you emerge from the cabinet with a bottle of lotion and a smile. You let the words sink in as you gather lotion in your hand. 

“I like them because they’re a part of you. They tell the story of how you became strong and how you weren't always that way.” You can't help but hum fondly as his eyes follow your movements. How your gentle hands caress him in a way not even his mother has since he was fourteen. Your hands glide up his shoulder blades, curve around to reach his front, and touch every part he hates. 

“I love them because I love you. All of you.” 

Kazuha

His bandaged hand is scarred from when he grabbed his friend's vision. That shit’s gotta hurt so bad, burn scars are a pain in the ass to take care of too. Especially since they’re so sensitive to sunlight. It makes sense why he would keep his hand bandaged even after his wound has healed. Though it's gotta be so itchy under there. Please be careful when handling his hand, scars like that are painful for years after they’ve healed. (I feel like he would be hesitant to show you it, so the scenario is your first time seeing/taking care of it.)

“Please, can I help you?” You’ve asked him this more times than you can count, always pleading gently to see his scar and getting the same rejection every time. So you don't expect it when his red eyes go dark and he just barely nods.  

“Okay.” He says quietly and you can only blink in shock before gathering yourself and leading him to the bathroom. 

He sits on the edge of the tub and patiently waits for you to find the salve he puts on his hand. Your heart beats faster than you like at the sight of his eyes so far gone. Maybe he's disassociating? You don't bother asking as you settle down in front of him. 

Your gentle hands take his bandaged one, and you look up at him to make sure it's still okay. He nods again and you continue wordlessly, deft fingers unraveling white gauze with ease. It doesn't take long for his skin to be exposed and you take in the sight of his scar. 

It takes a lot to not wince or grimace, the burn has left more scar than skin. The tissue is still red and angry, the texture severely affected in odd pattern-like ways. But you manage to smile sadly at the sight, how much willpower must it take to willingly catch a burning object and hold onto it? To ignore every instinct and cling to something so painful. To say Kazuha is resolute and tenacious would be a massive understatement. 

“Tell me if it hurts.” You mumble, wholly engrossed in caring for him. Your hands gather the salve in your fingers and start to gently spread it across his palm. His arm tenses up but he says nothing. 

The process is short, simply letting the salve sit on top of his skin, not daring to massage it in. He seems grateful for this. It's not long before you're wrapping new gauze around his palm threading it between his fingers. 

“Thank you,” he whispers when you're done, slipping down to the floor with you and hugging your waist. He buries his head in your chest and you hold him there. 

“Anytime, love.” 

Beidou

The scar under her eye patch, I know a lot of people think she doesn't have one but for the sake of this, imagine she does. I think she's probably less forthcoming about the eyepatch because of the scar. Do you guys remember in her hangout how she was talking about her childhood and how she chased a dog to get its food and had to fight it? I feel like the dog probably scratched her eye and left her partially blind and scarred. And that part of the hangout is one of the only times we see Beidou feeling solemn, it’s gotta be a tough memory for her. 

She tells you the story the first time she lets you see it. For once, her demeanor is less than confident, no longer renowned captain of the crux, uncrowned queen of the sea, only Beidou. 

It's very obviously an old scar, not very big or intense. When you see it you focus more on her actual eye, her iris is a faded pinkish-red color, the pupil distorted and uneven. 

“I can still see a little bit on that side but it's all messed up and blurry, so I wear the eye patch.” She explains and you frown at the thought. 

“Did it hurt?” You ask, voice quiet and tentative. 

“I… don't really remember, to be honest.” Her eyes seem far away at the thought. “I just remember being so hungry. It was the only thing I could think about.” 

Your eyes study her expression, one you've never seen on her before. Its sorrow, longing, and pure pain all wrapped up in one. You let your finger trail the length of the scar on her eyelid. The lotion spreads with the motion, smearing white against her pale skin. The eyepatch has left a tan line that would've been comical if not for the sad story behind it. 

“Thank you for telling me,” you whisper, “and for letting me see it.” 

“Of course.” She says. “I trust you.”

[meanbossart]

I appreciate how you write Astarion so, SO much. I feel like way too many fic writers infantilize him to a point where I honestly start wondering if I'm the one who misinterpreted him so badly.

I'd love to know more about what you think of his character and his arc. Personally I saw him and immediately went "oh god this guy is gonna be the irritating tumblr sexyman of the year🙄" and it took me until Araj basically to warm up to him. What were your initial thoughts and did they change much while playing the game?

OH thank you so much!!! That's a shame if it's the case, and a little surprising to me, to be honest! While he's definitely written be an aloof jerk a lot of the time, I always found him to be surprisingly mature and introspective whenever he's not dishing out witty remarks. He comes off to me as the kind of person who learned to benefit from seeming dumber than he actually is, overall.

HAHA I had a VERY similar experience, not just towards Astarion but all the characters, really (I really disliked Shadowheart at the beginning, too). I had only seen pictures of him and pretty much expected a vapid character that was being carried to stardom because of a talented VA - and because people go nuts for anne rice style vampires lol.

While I was definitely enjoying his voice lines from the start (Again kudos to Neil) I definitely wasn't expecting much else. He piqued my interest after so devastatingly turning my character down at the tiefling party without me even having inquired, and that's when I, the gamer, was like "well, alright, I GOTTA fuck this guy now" (this is also where DU drow's personality began to come out as you can probably guess)

Obviously, if you have two neurons to rub together you can gather pretty quickly that he's not trying to woo you because you're so interesting and wonderful, so I started getting curious! With that dynamic being so different from what you usually expect of romances in these types of games, plus the charming way in which he is written, I started being won over.

I think what really did it was how gradually his attitude changed when responding to new, mostly trivial dialogue options and doing his greetings as you earned his trust, and ESPECIALLY with how he responds to your tav when you express any kind of fear or insecurity during his romance - which was with a lot of sincerity and confidence in his resolve to support you, and in you as a person, a complete 180 from his usual front - Which, again, makes me all the more surprised to hear that he's often painted with such an immature brush.

And obviously he has a DEEPLY ugly side to him (if you've read ANE, hopefully it's clear that I know this, and that I like to explore it just as much as anything else lmao) but it's very interesting to me how it seem to always come in the form of outbursts, rather than a constant evil-streak, usually followed by a glimpse of self-awareness. It feels very much in line with someone who's actually making a great deal of effort to manage their RAMPANT emotions and going through a lot of internal conflict in the process.

GAH. Yeah if you can't tell by this friggin' thesis I just wrote, I love the way they wrote this character a lot and I was definitely proven PROFOUNDLY wrong in my first impression of him - which, if that's not irony at it's finest I don't know what is.

And as an aside! I also very much appreciate that he's a "queer" coded character who's effeminate (in the Old Homo kind of way, but I digress) and flamboyant, but taken Dead Fucking Seriously. With as much progress as we've made in LGBT rep in media, I still often feel like gay men will only get that kind of treatment for as long as they "Aren't That Gay" (I know Astarion doesn't have a set sexuality - But lets not mince words: stereotypes exist, and he fits into most of them) and as a thin-wristed gay guy who's a little too found of linen shirts, I can honestly say that experiencing a character like that helped me with my own confidence.

[lauraneedstochill]

I debated whether I should keep my opinion on EP3 in the comments to @st-eve-barnes post (she made some good arguments btw!) but I guess I’m out of fucks to give. just like the HOTD scriptwriters ✌

big fat disclaimer: I sincerely can’t say a single bad thing about Ewan. his acting was absolutely amazing, he owned the scene, and it’s pretty clear he doesn’t have a problem with nudity (if you watched “High Life”, you know what I’m talking about; if you didn’t, please read the warnings before watching).

my problem is with everything leading up to the brothel scene with Aegon — because this is NOT how you write conflict, and because it could’ve hit way harder if only it was done PROPERLY. unsurprisingly, it started in EP2:

➡ the fact that we got absolutely no reaction to B&C from Aemond is a joke. I’ve read some people saying “well, Jaehaerys isn’t his son so why would he care” — sure, Aemond wasn’t competing to win the uncle of the year award. BUT you are telling me he wouldn’t simply be pissed about the fact that a couple of nobodies managed to sneak into the supposedly well-guarded castle and kill a Targaryen like it’s no big deal? that they dared to put a knife to Helaena’s neck, that they clearly could’ve done worse things to her? that they left a mess in his room, touched his stuff? you mean Aemond, who is definitely an annoying perfectionist who puts every thing in its specific place, Aemond who’s extremely arrogant about being the best warrior, the biggest defender, the mister-know-it-all, Aemond who clearly has anger issues — HE wouldn’t be fuming on the inside? HE wouldn’t rush to the small council meeting to know all the details? HE wouldn’t volunteer to help Aegon murder the ones responsible? it’s a pity everyone’s forgotten S1 Aemond but I have NOT.

➡ I won’t talk much about the brothel scene in EP2 (@pygmyharmoset analyzed it really well) but I will say that to me it felt very disconnected from the main plotline. yet again, there is NO ! BUILD UP ! was it so hard to at least show Aemond leaving? to let us know what mood he was in (was he agitated? fidgeting? when exactly he decided to leave? did something trigger it?). they could’ve cut out the moment of his arrival so we wouldn’t know where he was going to have the big shocking reveal later when he’s suddenly with Sylvi, all naked and vulnerable. it would’ve only taken an additional MINUTE of screentime!

➡ now, to the worst of it — and I really want you to think over what I’m about to say:

people are allowed to grieve in their own way. not everyone is lucky to have all the right tools to process trauma.

did Aegon treat Aemond poorly? was he mean and cruel to his younger brother? yes. yes, he was (newsflash: there are no good people in this show. hope this helps).

BUT

was Aegon’s child killed because of a mistake Aemond made? is it possible that Aegon’s been harboring his resentment, that the absence of Aemond in that tragic, pivotal moment in their lives hurt him? the answer is also YES. Aegon doesn’t know how and has never seen how to cope with emotions in a healthy way, and it’s not in his power to break the cycle so he keeps repeating all the same mistakes. that’s the tragedy of it and that’s the ticking bomb planted under the foundation of their relationship.

the tragedy of that dumbass writing we’ve been presented with is that we did not see their conflict take root. we DID NOT get to see how their discontent kept growing, how they both felt caged and dissatisfied with their circumstances (Aegon realizes no one wants him on the throne and he feels helpless, Aemond is constantly being denied the chance to prove himself so he also feels helpless) — and how eventually that anger they couldn’t channel into anything else made them lash out at each other.

my first thought after watching EP3 was that there’s gotta be a scene missing between the small council meeting and the brothel scene. there SHOULD’VE been a scene with just Aegon and Aemond, they had all the reasons and opportunities for it! here, think about this:

Aemond’s comment at the end of the meeting comes off as patronizing (“It’s a brave thought” — Aemond is forbidden to leave with Vhagar so he’s glad that Aegon has to sit back, too). Aegon insists that he’s just “as fearsome”; but the thing is, he isn’t sure of it, so of course Aemond’s words stay with him, nibble at him, and it would only take a cup or two for him to get heated about it. he calls Aemond to his chambers and brings back the topic — “You don’t deem me brave, brother? You do not think I’d fight just as hard?”. it’s only the two of them, Aegon is in full armor, standing on his little wooden stool, a cup in his hands. and because he is hurting, he wants to hurt Aemond in return. so he gets off the stool and comes closer to him, sneering, “You are, no doubt, a fierce warrior,” — but then the smile falls off his face, and his voice gets quiet, pained, searing, “So tell me, where were you when my son was being murdered? I came to learn that they were looking for you, were they not? Oh, you would’ve fought them off with ease, for sure. So where were you, huh?”

and then you get the tension breaking, the emotions erupting — and, most importantly, the CONFLICT. Aegon throws the cup away, darts to Aemond, grabs him by his clothes (remember how desperately he held his face in EP9 of S1? the parallel would’ve been so beautiful !), finally screaming “Have you any idea what you’ve done? WHAT IT COST US?” — and now he isn’t talking about B&C but about Luke too. only, we’ve seen the extent of Aemond’s guilt and he isn’t about to show it now, taken aback by Aegon’s outburst, so instead of taking the blame, Aemond does what he knows best — he attacks him in return. they throw accusations at each other: Aemond reminds Aegon he was getting drunk, he himself didn’t do anything to be there for his family, he didn’t even do anything to deserve being on the throne. it’s nasty, it’s a shouting match, Aegon’s buddies eventually have to come in to pull them away from each other.

and it’s no surprise that Aegon goes back to drinking after that. and Aemond, overwhelmed and in disarray, goes back to the only place that can grant him comfort. so when Aegon finds him there and dares to humiliate him publicly and rob him of that illusion of comfort — that’s when something switches in Aemond. that’s when he decides he’s not a loyal dog anymore.

and that is, in my humble and very subjective opinion, how you properly bring someone’s temper to a boiling point. if only Ryan Condal ever cared, HA.

[astraeaaurelia]

Timeskip Tooru Oikawa

Leaving the country for his dream is not hard, what makes it hard for Tooru Oikawa is leaving you behind. That's why he decided not to tell you and convinced the other third years to also not to tell you anything about him leaving for Argentina.

You always thought that you two had something special. You're not really together but still, not knowing about his departure hurts.

After almost a decade, he appeared in front of your door with gifts and an apologetic smile.

"Can we have a talk? Please?" 

Here was the heartbreaker himself, and you stood in shock at him being there. You had no idea he was even back in Japan. “You’ve gotta be kidding…” You trailed off. His smile wavers, a hint of guilt and nervousness crossing his face. He didn't mean to make things worse.

"It's been a while, huh?"

Oikawa says, shifting his position awkwardly, the bag of gifts in his hand almost forgotten. Your eyes widen and you are immediately pissed off. How dare he just waltz back into your life and act like he didn’t basically rip your heart out and stomp on it when he didn’t tell you about moving to Argentina. 

“Uhm, yea…it has. What the hell?? Why didn’t you tell me!” You started poking his chest with your finger, frustrated that he was doing this to you. He can hear the annoyance and anger in your voice. He knew that his unexpected appearance wouldn't be greeted with a warm welcome, but he didn't expect you to be this mad.

He shifts awkwardly again, avoiding your gaze for a moment before meeting your eyes with a regretful look.

"I know, I have a lot to explain..." She scoffed at his words. No shit he had a lot to explain to her. “Why don't you go ahead and start explaining it to me then.” Oikawa swallows hard, bracing himself for the confrontation he knew was coming. He lowers the bag of gifts to his side before speaking.

"First of all, I... I'm sorry."

He begins, his voice filled with sincerity.

"Leaving without saying goodbye... It wasn't fair to you. I know that now. I was... scared. And stupid." You said nothing, just sitting there listening and waiting patiently for him to keep going. He took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. \

"When I left for Argentina, I was convinced that it was what I wanted, what I needed to do to become the best volleyball player. But I was... selfish."

His voice softens, his gaze dropping to the ground.

"I didn't consider how it would affect you. I didn't want to face you and say goodbye."

She looked down at her feet, “It broke my heart when I heard you had left the country from Tobio Kageyama of all people.” His jaw tenses at the mention of Tobio Kageyama.

"Ugh... Of course, Tobio would be the one to tell you." He says, his voice filled with a hint of irritation. But then, the hurt in your eyes washes away whatever annoyance he was feeling. He looks up to meet your gaze, his expression somber. "I never meant to hurt you." He paused for a moment, a conflicted expression on his face. "I know that doesn't make it better. And there's no excuse for my selfishness..." He pauses again, sighing."I thought that leaving without saying goodbye would be easier... for both of us."

"But I was wrong. I was a coward."

He runs a hand through his hair, a gesture of frustration. "I’ve thought about contacting you so many times, but every time I almost dialed your number, I... I'd chicken out." He looks up, his eyes meeting yours directly. There's a mixture of guilt and vulnerability in his gaze. "I couldn't face you, not after what I did."

He looks down again, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the gifts in the bag. "But the truth is, everyday, I regretted leaving you the way I did. I regretted not saying goodbye... Not telling you about my plans." He lets out a dry laugh, there's no amusement in it. "You probably would've yelled at me and maybe smack me a couple of times. But, that's still better than having to hear the news from Tobio of all people."

You smiled and nodded in agreement. His heart flutters a little when he sees the hint of a smile on your lips. It's a good sign. A really, really good sign. He hesitates for a moment, the guilt and regrets still gnawing at him.

"Can I ask you something...?" You looked at him curiously before telling him to go ahead. He takes a deep breath, steeling himself for your response."If... If I had told you I was leaving, would you have stopped me?" He glanced up at you, waiting to see what your reaction would be. It made him nervous to see you furrow your brows and genuinely take a minute to think about it. "I'd like to say yes, but I would've let you go. Volleyball is your dream, I don't want to be the reason you don't follow your dreams...Even if it means moving across the world..." You let out a deep sigh. 

A pang of regret and guilt washes over him. He knew that's exactly what you would say, and it only made the pain of his decision feel worse. He averts his gaze, his voice a little shaky. "You... You wouldn't have tried to talk me out of it?" He looks at you again, his eyes filled with a mix of guilt and regret. 

"You... You'd just let me leave? Without even a proper goodbye?" 

Your eyes widen before realizing he took what you said the wrong way. “No! Wait! That’s not what I meant!” You grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes. “I would've made you say goodbye…if it truly was your dream, who am I to tell you not to chase it?” 

He freezes when you grab his hand, his heart skipping a beat. The sudden contact and the intensity in your eyes makes him speechless. He looks down at your hand holding his, a mix of emotions swirling in his chest.

"I... I see..."

He says quietly, his fingers reflexively curling around yours.

There's a moment of silence as he processes your words, his expression conflicted. He doesn't say anything for a few seconds, just holding your hand tightly, his gaze focused on the ground. Finally, he speaks up, his voice quiet. "But... you would've let me go to Argentina, right? Even if it meant leaving you behind." It's more of a statement than a question. He already knows the answer, but he needs to hear it from you. He lifts his gaze to meet yours, searching your face for confirmation.

You smiled at him, “Of course I would’ve let you go.” 

His heart sinks a little at your response, even though it's the answer he expected. He knows you too well. He knows that you'd never ask him to stay if it was his dream. He squeezes your hand, unable to find the words to express his emotions. It's a mixture of guilt, regret, and a strange sense of gratitude for having someone who understands and supports him unconditionally.

"Thank you..." He says, his voice a whisper, his gaze drifting to your connected hands. 

He takes a shaky breath, the words he wants to say stuck in his throat.

He looks at you. Really looks at you. He notices the smallest details he missed all these years - the way your hair falls over your shoulders, the way your eyes light up when you smile, the sound of your voice. The realization hits him all over again. He left the country and left you behind, without a proper goodbye. Without telling you how he really feels. 

He holds onto your hand like a lifeline, his grip tightening as he struggles to find the right words. "I..." He takes a deep breath, looking into your eyes. There's a mixture of vulnerability and determination in his gaze.

"I need to... I need to tell you something. Something I should've told you before I left."

He pauses, his heart pounding in his chest. The words are on the tip of his tongue, but he's scared. Scared of your reaction, scared of your response, scared of the possible consequences. He swallows hard, his throat feeling dry. He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand, a soothing gesture that might be more for his own nerves than for your comfort.

You nodded at him to go ahead, gently smiling at him. 

He takes a deep breath, holding your gaze. His heart is racing in his chest, and he feels like he might explode if he doesn't say it now. He steels himself, his voice low and sincere.

"I... I'm in love with you."

The words come out in a rush, his expression filled with a mix of nervousness and hope. He watches your face for any reaction, any hint of what you might be thinking or feeling. He tightens his grip on your hand, almost afraid that you might disappear if he let you go.

You sat there, eyes wide and clearly flustered. “You what?” 

He nods, his gaze unwavering. "Yes. I... I've been in love with you for a long time. Since high school, maybe even before that." There's a hint of vulnerability in his voice, as he finally confesses the feelings he's kept hidden for so long. "I was too scared to tell you back then... And then, I was even more scared when I realized I'd be leaving for another country."

He takes a shaky breath, his eyes searching yours for a clue to your thoughts. "I thought... I thought it would be easier if I just left without saying anything... But I was wrong. It was the worst decision I've ever made." He pauses, his grip on your hand tightening. There's a hint of desperation in his voice.

"I missed you every day... Every single day I spent in Argentina, I thought about you. I regret not telling you how I truly feel. I regret not saying goodbye. I regret leaving you."

He swallows hard, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Every morning I woke up wishing you were by my side, and every night I wished you were there when I fell asleep. Argentina was great and I had everything I ever wanted there except for one thing... You." He leans a little closer to you, his eyes never leaving yours.

You looked up at him, “You really mean that?” You hoped he truly did mean what he said. You have been in love with him since highschool as well, but you never even had a chance to tell him how you felt. 

He nods, his gaze unwavering. "Yes. I mean every word. I've never meant anything more." He hesitates for a moment, his fingers rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand. "I should have told you before I left. I should've confessed my feelings before I boarded that plane. But... But I was too scared."

He pauses, his tone filled with a mix of regret and vulnerability.

"I was scared of what you might say... scared that you didn't feel the same. And then... I thought it would be easier for both of us if I just left without saying goodbye. I thought it would be easier if I just... disappeared." He lets out a dry laugh, a bitter smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Boy, was I wrong."

You giggled at his comment, happy that he was wrong for once. 

He lets out a soft chuckle, surprised by your response. He's expecting an angry reaction, yelling, maybe even tears from you but instead, you laughed at his self-deprecating humor. A hint of relief washes over him as he hears your giggle. It's a small comfort, a sign that maybe, just maybe, he hasn't messed things up completely. He smiles softly, the corners of his lips curling up slightly.

"You're laughing... That's... a good sign, right?" You giggled a bit more before calming down and responding, “Yes, it’s good.” He lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, relief washing over him. Your laughter and your smile eases the knot of anxiety in his stomach. It gives him a shred of hope, a glimmer of possibility. His smile widens, his expression more relaxed now. He lifts his free hand, reaching up to brush a strand of hair away from your face.

"I missed that smile."

He lets his hand linger on your face for a moment, his fingers gently tracing the contour of your cheek. It feels familiar, yet different somehow. The touch alone sparks a mixture of comfort and desire in him, making him want to pull you into his arms and never let go. But he holds back, reigning in his emotions for now.

"And your laugh... I missed that too."

There's a hint of warmth in his voice, a vulnerability that he rarely shows.”I missed you too, dummy.” You smiled affectionately at him. He might be a dummy but at least you knew he was your dummy. He laughs at your affectionate insult, relieved that you're not too angry with him. "I guess I deserved that." He runs his thumb over your cheek one more time before pulling his hand away.

"I know I have no right to ask this after all the pain I've caused... But can I ask you something?"

You nod, waiting for him to ask. 

He takes a deep breath, collecting his thoughts. The words he's about to say could either make or break things between you. "After everything I've done... After I left without a goodbye... How can you still smile at me like that? How can you still look at me like that?" His voice is barely above a whisper, his expression filled with a mixture of hope and fear. He's nervous about your answer, but he needs to hear it. He needs to know how you truly feel.

“Because I love you too.” You flushed, embarrassed at admitting that to him. Didn’t matter now, you already said it. His heart skips a beat at your confession, his eyes widening in surprise. He wasn't expecting you to say those words back to him, at least not so soon. He stares at you for a few seconds, processing your words. The look on his face is a mix of disbelief, hope, and something else. Something he's afraid to name.

"You... You love me too..."

It's more a statement than a question. He needs to hear you say it again, just to make sure he didn't hallucinate it.

“I love you, Tooru Oikawa.” 

You grinned at him after you repeated yourself. He feels like he could burst into tears, right then and there. Hearing you say those words... It feels surreal, like a dream he never wants to wake up from. For a moment, he's speechless. All he can do is stare at you, his eyes searching yours for any sign that you're joking or playing a cruel prank on him.

"Say it again."

His voice is hoarse, barely above a whisper. You repeat yourself again, happy to tell him you loved him as many times as he needed to hear it. As your words sink in, something breaks within him. The last shred of doubt, the last bit of hesitation is shattered. He pulls you closer, his arms wrapping around you with a desperate, almost frantic, urgency. 

“I love you so much.” 

A ragged breath escapes him. Your words are like a balm to his soul, soothing all the pain and guilt he's been carrying for so long. He doesn't let go of you, his hold on you unwavering. His cheek is pressed against the top of your head, his fingers gripping the fabric of your clothes as if he's scared you'll disappear any second.

The words send a jolt of electricity through his body. It's like a switch being flipped. The last of his doubts, his fears... they all disappear in an instant. He lets out a shuddering breath, the reality of your words finally sinking in. He pulls back just enough to look into your eyes, his expression filled with a mixture of wonder and an unbearable tenderness.

"I love you too." He repeats your words, his voice full of raw emotion. And then he says it again, as if sealing a vow, a promise. He cradles your face in his hands, his touch as gentle as a feather. His eyes study your face, as if trying to memorize every detail, every small imperfection that makes you uniquely you. They linger on your lips for a moment, his thumb tracing the contour of your lip as if he can't help himself. He loves you. He finally admitted it. He pulls you closer once more, crushing you against him. He can feel your heartbeat, fast and strong against his chest, and his own heart beats in sync with yours. 

He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his breath warm against your skin. He's breathing you in, like he's trying to memorize every part of you, every scent, every feeling. 

"You have no idea how much I've missed this... How much I've missed you..." 

He can't bring himself to let you go just yet. He holds onto you like his life depends on it, his arms wrapped around you like a vice. His cheek rests against the top of your head, and he lets out a shaky breath. He can feel your hair tickling his chin, your body pressed against his. It's too much and yet, not enough. He tightens his hold on you, his fingers digging into your skin. There's an edge of possessiveness in his touch, in the way he buries his face into your hair.

"And I don't ever want to let you go again." His voice is a soft whisper, full of a vulnerability that he usually keeps hidden. He means every word, every syllable. He never wants to leave your side again, never wants to spend even a second apart from you if he can help it.

[griffonsgrove]

General Dating Headcanons | Black Hat

Black Hat X Reader fandom: Villainous/Villainos words: 1132 cw: none!! enjoy! a/n: Hi hi!! ive really been wanting to do headcanons for Black Hat for a while, I'm open to asks and requests so dont be afraid to drop a suggestion in!!

(Platonic):

Black hat is by no means an easy boss. He’s ruthless, unmerciful and bitter, and you are no exception in the Eldrich’s case.

At first.

When you were first hired to be an employee at Black Hat Organization, Black Hat treats you as he would any of his other employees.

With zero respect.

He has very little tolerance for inefficiency

But you were absolutely determined to live up to his impossible expectations.

Maybe you spent a little extra time organizing his paperwork, or added a smidge more arsenic to his tea than usual (he had a sweet tooth for poison occasionally) and maybe you even bothered to dust some of his prized artifacts and tomes from his glory days as villain, making them look as new as the day he got them, and so many other things you did that seemed to make his life a little bit more stress-free.

At first, he thought nothing of it, it wasn't uncommon that his henchmen would grovel at his feet and suck up to him, it amused him really. 

But overtime the eldritch realizes that you wanted to do these little tasks. 

But why?? He was the most feared being in existence, and you went out of your way to do the smallest task to appease him. You seemed to worm your way into his thoughts, even as he sat perched at his desk in the wee hours of the night. Why were you just so…sweet! You should be cowering in fear!!

Speaking of fear, he loooooooves to scare the shit out of you, popping up when you least expect, out of the shadows, morphing into some unspeakable abomination of eyes and mouths (possibly) scarring you, always got a kick out of him.

After working for him for some time you were the only one, he seemed to tolerate, you managed to do your job with little to no flaw or mistake, unlike his scientist.

Dr. Flug admittedly was slightly envious.

He’d never admit it but, Black Hat enjoys holding conversation with you from time to time. He allows you to ask questions, most of them being about all the things he had witnessed and accomplished in the eons he’s been alive. He almost admired the way your eyes lit up in wonder as he explained. Almost.

You enjoyed these little private conversations too, occasionally the demon would ask a question or two about yourself, which you would happily answer. He may show no interest on the outside, but on the inside he's curious. Something he rarely feels.

He does have a reputation to uphold however, and still threatens, yells and demeans you just as he would any of his other employees.

Gotta keep you on your toes, ya know? 

But deep down you know. You know that he secretly enjoys your company and is too stubborn to actually admit it.

You even dare to go as far and say that he was a friend. Don't let him hear you say that though.

(Romantic):

hooo boy

When I say this man is conflicted

The mere thought of love made Black Hat’s face morph into an ugly scowl, something he thought was near impossible for him to ever experience. The man had no heart for goodness's sake!

Oh, but then you had to weasel yourself into his life, his home, with your sweetness, didn't you?

Let me be clear when I say that this old man has never experienced these kinds of feelings before in his lifetime, and when he does, he thinks he’s possibly dying.

Did I also mention dramatic??

When realization dawns on him, he is absolutely floored, and the first thing he does is avoid you like the plague, which confuses you and raises a bit of concern. He rarely calls you to his office, and when he does, he avoids eye contact or just faces away from you entirely, barely acknowledging your presence.

Definitely becomes moodier, and more irritable as his feelings fester.

It’s not until you confront him one evening, when the manor is still and quiet, everyone having retreated to their respective rooms hours ago. That he finally confesses.

And being the extremely old fashioned eldritch he is, he formally asks to court you, how could you deny such a tempting proposition from the lord himself??

Of course, you say yes, why wouldn't you?? It’s an honor to be courted by Lord Black Hat!

Surprisingly, nothing changes much at first, he’s still very new to these feelings.

You both come to the agreement to keep your courtship strictly private and away from prying eyes, as I’ve said the man has a reputation to uphold.

God forbid Demencia finds out either. 

With all that being said, you both take things very slowly, which thankfully you were patient and understanding about, he's experiencing all these things for the first time.

It’s a good thing you're there to help guide him, right?

He may not have ever been in a relationship, but he isn't stupid. This demon is a straight up gentleman, and extremely chivalrous. Call it old-fashioned if you must, But the man is a charmer.

Despite his villainous persona, Black Hat shows rare moments of unexpected softness when he's alone with you.

He might not admit it, but he secretly enjoys quiet evenings, perhaps reading or just spending time together in one of his private studies. He personally enjoys reading the Necronomicon to you.

Black hat also has an uncanny ability to find and present unique, often mysterious gifts. They might be rare artifacts, darkly enchanted trinkets, or even personalized items that reflect his understanding of your tastes. You keep every single one of them.

He’s surprisingly a good listener and remembers just about anything you tell him.

Which by the way, this man spoils you.

When it comes to dates, Black Hat goes all out. He arranges extravagant, exclusive events, whether it's a candlelit dinner on a rooftop or a private screening at the manor. 

He once brought you to another dimension to view the downfall of an alien civilization, how romantic!

Black Hat, in his own twisted way, is fiercely protective over you. He might not show it overtly, but anyone who dares to even look at you with disdain will face the Eldrich’s fiery wrath.

Overall, Black Hat is surprisingly a good lover and partner. Your life never seems to be dull with him around, and you're incredulously grateful and honored to be able to see this side of him, even if it's behind closed doors. He has a hard time conveying his feelings and being vulnerable, but you're patient and understanding and eager to help guide him.

He never would have thought love was possible for him until you came along.