#but i listen to this playlist on loop enough that i think i can share it

[kamuikunt]

woah gay little obito playlist (constantly changing)

commentary and standout lyrics under the cut cause god ive thought so much putting this playlist together and some of these songs may need some fucking explaining

…because i'm young arrogant and hate everything you stand for-machine girl

-mmm general rebellion vibes killing the world anger etc etc. very obito you know how it is. also the so little time/so much pain makes me think of how much shit happened in a short time n when he was so young

Out of the mall

And into the fray

So little time

So much pain

A flash in the pan

A smack in the face

Kill the world with whatever it takes!

coul as a ghoul-the voidz

-fuck if i remember why i put this one in. feels right though

I'm a lush, I'm a saint

I'm a phoney, I'm a fake

I'm going insane

I'm going insane

You made me this way

I'm going insane

mr.manson-max diaz

-song about being fated to be horrible/ do horrible shit. yeag

And I never even had a chance to be myself

But today's the day I'm gonna give hell

うずまき (UZUMAKI)-machine girl

-1. lol. like naruto. 2. spiraling hatred etc

Someday, I will feel no pain

Someday, I'm gonna be okay

Cycle of blood, it's all the same

And then I forget everything I wanna be

Getting a strange reality

hell-clown core

-instrumental. get it cause he says hes in hell. also just a good instrumental

2007-YOU LOVE HER

-initially added as a reflection of his like. use of rin + her death as the symbol of everything being fucked up in the world and him getting to that view of the world; its a twisted version of whatever he felt when they were on the same team that he has bulit up in his head n created a Meaning for. later realized that Oh kakashi did Similar Shit at obitos "death", building him up in his head. perhaps this is even more fitting as kakashi didnt have this love or respect for obito before he died (not romantically in this case, a platonic love of the idea of him). idk

I've been searching for

We've been searching for

I've been searching for a life

You love her 'cause she's dead, because she's dead

Because she's dead, because she's dead

And everything she meant was in your head

Was in your head, was in your head

therefore i am-billie eilish

-entirely the fault of that one amv i do not listen to billie eilish on my own lol. you get it though. like a lot of the song has a lot more. superiority than i think obito to have but it works well enough

Top of the world, but your world isn't real

Your world's an ideal

truth and life-clown core

-another clown core instrumental lol. idk the name felt good and ill take any excuse to sprinkle a little clown core

mamma mia-ABBA

-yes i added this one cause of the edit. it is also just fitting

So I made up my mind: it must come to an end

Look at me now, will I ever learn?

I don't know how, but I suddenly lose control

There's a fire within my soul

ghost (of 7th street)-roar

-hopelessness, unchanging fate, etc you get it

There's so much here to ignore

The world's much uglier than we gave it credit for

It's a shame to make the same mistakes

But I'm afraid people don't change

You'll never save the moth from the flame

niji-shinkuhorou

-this is his one outro song i had to + i really like it

inked in red-vision video

-yknow tragedies, wanting to raise the dead, blood imagery, dreams

A tragedy is written—inked in red

Words bleed onto pages—I try to raise the dead

Whoa, as it seems that this life is a waking dream

Ohh, as it seems that this life is a waking dream

dead man-teddy hyde

-basically an instrumental But its two whole lyrics feel very obito to. anyone. he thinks himself nothing, he thinks of everyone and everything as nothing

I am nothing and so are you

Let’s be nothing together

[jsjsjsksjdjhs]

headcanons about maybe a golden retriever x black cat relationship with ellie and reader? 😭😭 it’s so cute. she is so golden retriever coded it’s not even funny!!

i cannot this is too cutie!!!!!

🗒️'golden retriever!ellie & black cat!reader hcs ☁︎,📎

noties: fluff fluff, mild mentions of anxiety

- Ellie finds the 0.5 on camera so funny, whenever you leave your phone somewhere you come back with your camera roll absolutely bombarded with silly photos of Ellie in 0.5

- You have a hard time expressing your feelings and you never know (in words) how to show Ellie how much you love her so you write her little poems/affirmations on sticky notes and leave them around your shared dorm & in return she leaves you little doodles

- Ellie has a highlight dedicated to just pictures of you on her instagram named “my bug in a rug 🐛” but when you post her she gets SUPER flustered and I can totally see her as the type of person who blushes all the way to their ears <3

- A lot of people head-cannon Ellie not being the clingy one in the relationship but I honestly think it would be Ellie, like she has to be touching you in some way at all times, for example when you guys go out you already know her hands are on your waist or your arms are looped together!!

- Ellie always sends you links to Spotify playlists that she’s made for you, (you don’t listen to ALL of them because she sends you so many) but you don’t want to hurt her feelings so you always praise her on how cute it was and how much you liked the songs she selected

- Ellie would never admit it but she’s definitely a swiftie and claims her favourite is reputation when her fav is actually Red. She also SWEARS by her first albums and says there the best ones, and she deffs gets mad at you if you accidentally listen to the originals instead of Taylor’s Version

- Ellie knows that your shy so whenever you to decide you want to go out with Dina and Jesse, Ellie makes sure to always look out for you because she’s knows that social situations make you anxious and whenever she can tell that you’ve had enough she’ll make an excuse so the both of you can leave <3

[pillowspace]

hi! hope ur doing well! out of curiosity, do you have an ISAT playlist? and if so, would you be cool with sharing it? I’ve been trying to find some good songs related to the game and i’m familiar with a lot of the artists you listen to so i figured i’d ask :)

I only just recently joined the In Stars and Time fandom, so I don't have many songs yet, but yeah!

I also started typing out notes under the readmore for (most of) the songs because I thought I'd only have a few, but then I... kept thinking of more songs, so the notes section got bigger? So uh...!! Feel free to read that or not. Up to you, shrug

I actually had not heard this song until my Spotify started randomly playing recommended songs while I was in the middle of drawing Siffrin, and the second I started processing the lyrics about familiarity and time travel, I did a startled glance over like "wh... what's playing??" This song plagues my ISAT visions

---

Genuinely been wanting to make an animatic out of the first minute but I don't know if I have it in me. Just saying, the "smi-i-i-ile" has enough in it to fit every different photo from the mirror

---

FLASHING COLOURS AT THE 3 MINUTE MARK:

One specific thing I have to note with this song is that I like to envision Siffrin waking up in the meadow on the line "the day I wake up naked in the dirt."

---

"The million what if Is between your ears. The feelings of regret, and now I'm running to forget. But know, the consequence of imagination's fear" thinks about Siffrin and Bonnie, thinks about Siffrin and Bonnie, thinks ab-- oh yeah, and the bit about ruby eyes reminds me of 2hats

---

FLASHING AT THE 3 MINUTE MARK AND LOUD POTENTIALLY OVERWHELMING SOUNDS AT THE END:

A song about feeling hurt and giving all that you've gone for an acting performance?? Back to the stage, Siffrin

---

There's some lines that aren't too too fitting for ISAT, but I'm fond of this song, so I can spin a meaning onto them with enough thinking power. Nonetheless, there still are plenty of fitting parts. Post-canon Siffrin coping after the loops :)

---

Interestingly, I've actually had this song associated with going mad from time loops since ages before I played In Stars and Time. "Maddening. It's a regular bad thing" and "nothing's really happening." Plus "I'm afraid to lose you" ties into ISAT pretty well

---

Specifically Loop tends to cross my mind whenever this comes on lately

---

I like to imagine this being about Siffrin as a child on their island being a little wanderer before that meant something else, then it slowly leading into Siffrin's adulthood (bend gravity and space being about the loops)

---

I'll never hear the sound of someone calling me home... I was the beast all alone in my hell........

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 11/21/2023

awful lot of cooking content from me, who hates cooking but finds the evenings jittery and boring

listening

Doorbell by Sterling Press, off the spotify weekly recced playlist. i don't know that i like this song. i don't know that it's particularly good. goddamn if it isn't catchy. alt britpop, they hate being compared to blur but mmmm. you do hear it. notes of ska as well. a song to blast in your car when your spring break plans fell through and you're driving to the good target two towns away from your hometown.

i don't think this music video could have existed pre-pandemic-- idk doorbell cams were that ubiquitous or well known, despite heavy advertising from nest.

from an interview:

Speaking about the new release, they said, “We wrote the song in our mates garage using drum samples off YouTube. We spent all night writing it then in the early hours of the morning drove to Maccies to have breakfast and had it on repeat the whole time. We all fell in love with it straight away. These lyrics speak to the importance of authenticity and sincerity in your actions. In a world where appearances and pretences can be misleading, it's a reminder to be true to yourself and to avoid trying to impress others for the sake of it. “I feel like its an experience we all share. We all know someone who goes off to uni or gets a new job and you bump into them on the street and they act as if they have no idea who you are. I guess this song is reflection of our frustrations towards those people.”

they have what i would consider an unusual amount of hype and presence for a band that has exactly three songs out, but they've all been making music together and separately since well before the pandemic so maybe they've just finally broken out? i can't figure out who these kids are related to. i don't think it's a full on industry plant but i do think someone's dad has some money.

a friend once said she hated how eighties songs faded out like a printer running out of ink, and i do not particularly care for how 2020s songs end with the entire band vanishing underwater.

this song is truly not that deep but it is thoroughly stuck in my goddamn head.

listening: special podcast edition

i am not looking for solutions. do not say solutions at me. i am taking through a brain thing and having a weird workflow and brain problem. i have tried other apps with browser support and do not like them, and i cannot have my personal apple id tied to my work computer bc i have and frequently use a work apple id.

i have been listening to podcasts through Spotify ever since mmm november ‘20. it has not been a good experience but juggling the Apple Podcasts app through my phone (distraction minefield) and whatever im listening to or working on with the work computer is a nightmare. ethics of spotify aside, it is a tremendously successful all in one listening platform. i do not have the brainspace to manage my own music library, and support my favorite artists in other ways.

i am not looking for solutions. do not say solutions at me.

however, if you listen to enough podcast episodes, spotify does not seem to believe you when you tell it to unfollow a podcast. it just keeps letting you know hey this has a new episode. this got me stuck on a loop where i was listening to more and more episodes of two very prolific conspiracy theory debunking podcasts to the exclusion of almost everything else. this was not very good for my mental health.

i am not looking for solutions. do not say solutions at me.

despite the real annoyance of finagling a very distracting phone and the work laptop, i have gone back to Apple Podcasts and (after weeding out a variety of podcasts for a variety of reasons) started listening to friends at the table again. not sure why i stopped but i felt a weird amount of guilt around restarting?? the tablefriends neither know nor care. i have finally finished road to palisade and am excited but nervous about starting palisade proper

-

reading

a local religious thrift store has absolutely rancid vibes but does regularly have 6/$1 book sales. there were a couple older trade paperback comics the last time: the first three volumes of ULTIMATE XMEN and a radom What If? superman.

my trouble with the xmen, and i have to read something from it once every two years to remind myself, is that magneto is right. they will never be able to assimilate into white picket fence middle america, or even among the liberal coastal elites or whatever the term du jour was in 1999. the box will always be smaller and you will never be perfect enough. i did not enjoy this enough to continue bc of this fundamental disagreement with most xmen comics.

also it looks like this. magneto’s lair has an arch in the shape of the arch on the front of his helmet and that was pretty baller, but there’s a real. what was they gimmick blog about all the comic book women in contorted spine-breaking poses? it’s like that a lot. WHAT is ororo’s body doing there

-

watching

hey. what the fuck do you mean tomato sauce is that easy. i dislike tomato sauce and almost exclusively eat jar upon jar of aldi brand pesto. im not allergic bc tomatoes aren't tingly but it's just sort of Nothing all the time. what do you mean it can be good???

i don't actually remember why i'm subscribed to mr internet shaquille. perhaps, like so many other food things, it's kali's fault.

-

playing

g/enshinposting.

pulled this horrid little brat. very pleased with myself.

i do not. love. her story quest. it falls into the childrens' media trap of Sometimes It's Okay For Other People To Stomp All Over Your Boundaries If It's For The Good Of The Group! or perhaps this is just a thing i'm particularly twitchy about. either way, annoyed that other characters of this importance have gotten some deeply moving writing and so far furina has...not gotten that.

the next character i am excited about is lolita taylor swift, or geo-aligned lady with big fuckoff sword. from some early maybe-leaks i think she would pair beautifully with my playstyle and my pirate lady with big sword. my playstyle is mostly brute force damage. i hit things as hard as i can until they fall over and i've played the entire game (with some exceptions that required actual thinking about elemental reactions) that way. it pleases me.

re: the conclusion of the annapausis sidequest, genshin does a really good job of teasing out "ok in a world with actual gods, what does spirituality look like/what are the differing views on fate/how do people make sense of an afterlife". mostly this is gnosticism. and sometimes it's a real life occultist secret society (reskinned Rosicrucianism). fascinating writing choices.

-

making

turkey cottage pie with scalloped potatoes, bc i had a five-pound bag of russets that were starting to sprout. im just going to yoink this pic i posted earlier bc it is now half gone and in tupperware form

this is the first time ive ever cooked in a dutch oven and im in love. i thrifted this for $20 some weeks ago but bc the lid has some chips and rust i haven't used it. which is silly, bc the body of the oven is fine. de-rusting and seasoning the lid will wait for a day when i actually need it bc for now we can get by with doubled-over sheet of aluminum foil.

used this recipe: only had a pound of ground turkey and liberally stretched it with potatoes (i think about three and a half pounds out of five) and three pounds out of a cheap frozen veggie mix bag. did not include mushrooms bc i did not like them. threw in some bay leaves bc i have a giant bag of them, i think i almost doubled the wine bc i doubled the recipe, but i do not think i remembered to double the beef stock. i also shook in a liberal amount of italian seasoning bc i have a cheap jar from aldi i want to use up.

the final product was somewhat soupy. i anticipated that slicing the potatoes was going to be the longest part (mostly true, i had to take breaks) and kept them in a big bowl of cold water to stop them browning while i chopped and after i blanched them. i also could have reduced the filling down some more but i am not a patient woman.

not as intended but still yummy, which was a lovely surprise bc usually when i fuck recipes up i fuck them up But Good. plus new technique (dutch oven). if i make this again (likely) i will do instant potatoes on top bc this was a fuck of a lot of chopping for one recipe. thinking about getting one of those stupid little hand smash veggie choppers bc a full food processor is extremely out of budget.

[sensitiveheartless]

🎶, 🍆, 🎯

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I do! I have tons of playlists for different fics, as well as ones that are just instrumentals for when I really need to focus. I have one that is basically just “for sad scenes in the rain”, I have one for the Skyline pigeon fic which does in fact have the song “Skyline Pigeon” in it as well as a bunch of Neighbor Totoro songs, I have a pretty giant one for the Howl AU…etc lololol as for what song I’ve been playing a lot recently…uhhh I have to check actually let’s see:

Ok so for the Howl AU, while I’m working on the epilogue and such, I’ve been listening to “Patience gets us nowhere fast” by Capital Cities, as well as “When can I see you again” by Owl City.

Also just as a general skk song: “No Lullaby” by Siames!

Oh, and less as something for a specific character and more just cause I like the song: “Loving You” by Cannons :D (I know that was more than one song but I like music alskdjfj)

🍆 Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what’s your most popular nsfw fic?

…Ok so I have written a singular spicy stuffs, but I posted it on anonymous because a), I know at least some minors follow me and I didn’t want to inadvertently encourage anyone to read content they aren’t ready for (speaking as someone who had too much internet access as a kid and got exposed to certain things way too early), and b), I have an irl friend who may stumble across this account at some point and if they see that fic in particular then I will die a little on the inside.

So I won’t be linking it here, but if any of y’all are adults and want me to link it to you in a DM then I wouldn’t mind, just keep in mind that I am not a particularly adept spiceologist (seriously no clue what I’m doing, that fic is mostly an excuse to mess around and experiment with character stuff in a really low-stakes premise), and also the fic spawned from a “hey wouldn’t it be funny if” thought I had, which then grew a character study around what is still essentially just a goof.

Also of course y’all can probably find it on your own, I don’t think it’d be that hard lol — but if you are a minor please do not talk to me about the fic, I would be extremely uncomfortable.

(I would offer to make a sfw version but unfortunately the nsfw is baked into the stupid premise jskdkdjfhf) (…actually some parts of it are kind of a sillier version of the Skyline Pigeon fic so I guess I am working on a more serious and sfw version of it)

All that said, this (sfw) bit from it still makes me laugh, so here:

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

Just about everyone who knew the plot of Howl’s Moving Castle before reading the Howl AU (and even some people who didn’t!) guessed what the twists were going to be before the ~grand reveals~ (although fewer people caught on to the Oda reveal, I think in part cause that one was more based on the HMC book rather than the movie) and I was honestly expecting that going into it lol —

I felt like trying to make it shocking would be less fun than the readers being able to accurately piece everything together for themselves. I loved seeing people commenting “OH MY GOSH THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING” as they went through the chapters, because it meant they were thinking over all the clues! And that they cared about the story enough to do that! And even though most people knew what the “twists” were going to be, they still seemed excited to see how everything was going to pan out, so I had a great time :D

Ah, also, to be more specific cause I just realized I was being vague (spoiler warning lol): just about everyone knew that Chuuya was Starlight, most people guessed Rimbaud was the scarecrow, and I saw a handful of people figure out Oda before that reveal happened, too!

[vanhelsingapologist]

I am submitting my formal request for folk music ~opinions~ ❤️

Folk music is another one of those genres that’s hard to pinpoint. It’s basically been merging with country and Americana for years. Further, are people asking for traditional folk? Folk metal? Indie folk? Baroque folk? But it’s all folk! Folk, folk, folk. I’ve written it so many times that it doesn’t look like a word. Anyway, I went contemporary/indie/roots folk for this. Started with more woodsy stuff, too.

• Empty Northern Hemisphere by Gregory Alan Isakov. Gregory Alan Isakov is one of those artists I adore and I think he pretty consistently nails it when it comes to folksy themes and instrumentation. His Weatherman album is pretty fantastic. He’s probably considered indie folk, if I had to put a finger on it.

• My Gal, My Guy by Darlingside. The first song I ever heard by them was called Harrison Ford, which is also pretty good, but there’s just something about this song! Also indie folk.

• Oats In The Water by Ben Howard. He has another great one called In Dreams. His earlier music sort of feels like standing in a dead forest. I can’t really explain it beyond that. His newer stuff is a bit more atmospheric, but it’s good.

• Bavarian Porcelain by Sea Wolf. His song Dear Fellow Traveller got some fandom airtime, but his whole discography is pretty good and soaked with forest imagery. My favorite album is probably White Water, White Bloom, but Cedarsmoke is very kind to me.

• Let This Remain by Alana Henderson. Henderson keeps making her way into my playlists. She sort of reminds me of Enya, sort of reminds me of something reminiscent of the Dresdon Dolls, but it’s just enough that she’s got this incredible unique sound.

• Francis by Haley Heynderickx and Max García Conover. This is another one that I have to physically restrain myself from looping. Their voices blend really well, and I’d also consider it my official endorsement of both their music. Heynderickx’s No Face and Show You A Body kill me and Conover’s collaboration on the everything in winter album is worth a listen.

• Deep Green by Marika Hackman. I feel like we can call Marika Hackman folk. Her voice is haunting, her lyrics stick, and she does really neat stuff instrumentally, and she had the folk sound. Not coffeehouse music, so I had to look to see what she’s categorized as. Alternative, it was. Her new album is less folksy, but We Slept At Last definitely is.

• Darlin Corey by Amythyst Kiah. If you haven’t heard any of her work, go listen as soon as possible. She’s got this deep, beautiful sound and writes about isolation in a way that really resonates. It’s hard to find artists who make folk that sounds a hundred years old, but she nails it every single time.

• Love Me Like You Used To by Lord Huron. Lord Huron is an old favorite, and I do think their Long Lost album is my favorite, despite Strange Trails being so well-known. Nothing makes you wanna awoo the way these guys do.

• Traveling On by The Decemberists. I’m a Decemberists fan first, person second. Sometimes I go about my day and “street side smokers, holy rollers” pops into my head at random. Hopefully, you will share my plight.

• Ofelia by Kiltro. Kiltro plays a mixture of shoegaze and Chilean folk. If that doesn’t sound like the best fucking time ever get AWAY from me. Creatures of Habit bumped all year before I graduated.

• The Weight by Amigo the Devil. Darker folk. I think he’s on a playlist called Murderfolk, which just about sums it up. I might put Amigo the Devil in the same camp as AJJ in terms of sound. Slightly different in lyricism.

• Northern Wind by Liza Anne. Their new stuff isn’t folk, but their old stuff is definitely indie folk. I sometimes describe them as drinking cold water, and I think that definitely sticks with their Two album.

As always, I have no idea what I’m talking about. Hope this is good!

[pastafossa]

Hey! I love to listen to music that fits a theme when I’m reading, and I’ve put together a small Red Thread playlist, including the songs you’ve mentioned in notes and stuff, I was wondering if there’s any other songs that remind you of The Red Thread, and would you mind sharing them? I don’t mind a t o n of songs too, the more the merrier!!!

Oh I totally get that, I almost always have music I'm listening to that fits the theme when I'm either writing or reading! There's just something about it that puts you in a perfect mood, and sometimes I'm even looping a single song for a specific chapter, again either reading or writing it.

I actually have an entire TRT playlist on spotify if you're looking for everything I have for TRT! At this point it's about half me and half recommended songs by readers. There ARE however some standouts that I quite like that haven't mentioned in the fic I don't think. I'll ⭐ the one that I remember coming from readers! A song for the Hound of Los Angeles: Stay Alive by Hidden Citizens

I do what I need to What I have to Well, you can try To be civilized But I'm gonna stay alive

A song for the Devil and the Hound (and one of my favorites for them): Woke Up A Rebel by Reuben and the Dark

I am wild, I am lost I am sick, I am damned But I am holding redemption in the palm of my hand

A song for Matt: Death of Me by Saint Phnx

I feel it in my bones The devil's at my door So help me This will be the death of me

A song for Jane and Matt early on: War of Hearts (Acoustic) by Ruelle ⭐

I can't help but love you Even though I try not to I can't help but want you I know that I'd die without you

A song for Jane to Matt during our 'I'm hiding my secrets from Matt' arc but also works as a general song for Jane: Neptune by Sleeping at Last

Thread by thread, I come apart If brokenness is a work of art Surely this must be my masterpiece I'm only honest when it rains If I time it right, the thunder breaks When I open my mouth I wanna tell you, but I don't know how

Another powerful song by the same artist (I literally have an entire playlist just by this artist since so many fit, with special notes paid to the enneagram songs) for both Matt and Jane that encompasses both their childhoods: Eight by Sleeping at Last

Here I am, pry me open What do you want to know? I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough To hold the door shut And bury my innocence But here's a map, here's a shovel Here's my Achilles' heel

A song for Jane early on: all of the midnights album Dear Reader by Taylor Swift⭐

Dear reader, the greatest of luxuries is your secrets Dear reader, when you aim at the devil Make sure you don't miss

A song for Matt to Jane: It Will Come Back by Hozier⭐

Don't let me in with no intention to keep me Jesus Christ, don't be kind to me Honey, don't feed me, I will come back

A song from Jane to Matt: With You Til The End by Sam Tinnesz, Tommee Profitt ⭐

When your fears are not fading And there's parts of you breaking I'll hold the pieces all together with my hands Though the night feels lonely I won't leave you behind me Deep inside I know I can't

Each of those are on the playlist along with a lot of other good songs. I've started to wander through some other TRT playlists on Spotify too when I have the time, and there's some awesome songs on them, so if you're looking for even more after this, I highly recommend giving those a look, too!

[actuallyitsstar]

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

⛔ 🎶 ⏳💥 🎃❌

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

(this is so many and obviously feel free to answer however many you want!!)

✨ send me an emoji and ask me about my fanfic! ✨

😈 has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

honestly, i can't say that there has been! i mean don't get me wrong, i have certainly been writing EVEN MORE ANGST AGAIN and been like. hmm. the people in my phone are gonna hate me for this :) lol. but that angst is also for ME bc like. that's my jam lol. and i never post unfinished multichaptered fics, so i feel its not likely that i'd ever do this, since i don't get feedback on my writing until after it's already completed, lol.

✍ do you have a beta reader?

i don't! i never have, actually. it is an intriguing idea but i've never been a ~serious~ enough writer for it, i don't think, and i also cringe at the idea of anyone seeing anything i've ever written before i have re read and re-edited it about 50 thousand times lol

⛔do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

recently, no, but i have at least 10 unfinished fics for various old fandoms that are like. not *scrapped*, per se, but just uhhh unlikely to be completed any time soon lol, some being 10+ years old. i never say never but like AM i going finish that OC-au of the mentalist season 6 where somebody is trying to attack all the "psychics" in texas because they have a grudge against what some fake psychic told them like 10 years ago???? honestly, probably not, lol.

🎶do you listen to music while you write? what song have you been playing on loop lately?

yes, i do! can't write in just silence, usually, but it can't have words, either, because i can't hear Words and also Write Different Words, lol. recently i have been listening to 70s-80s Japanese city pop playlists (here is one of my favorites!) since i don't speak the language and it also is such a vibe. in the past i've also done the in love with a ghost vibes, lofi girl, and instrumental synth-wave, as well. i also really like the artist City Girl for that reason, and i think my favorite album of theirs is Neon Impasse. I listened to that on loop a lot writing ttnp!

⏳how long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

this is a very difficult to answer question because it depends on a lot of factors, lol. I have written 20k words in two days before. I have also gone weeks only writing a thousand. it depends on how much free time i have (recently, almost none, lol), how much down time there is at my job (i wrote a large portion of ttnp in down time at my job, and there is not going to be job down time for the foreseeable future unfortunately, which has really put a damper on things). as long as i am at least mildly inspired or motivated, and have ample enough time, i can get a lot done, usually, but it all depends on a lot of factors.

💥how do you feel about criticism?

i am made of tissue paper pls dont hurt me akdshdjfhf i am actually very much okay with and welcoming of it, actually, bc without it, i would never improve. definitely needs to be in good faith, because being made of tissue paper isn't entirely a lie lol, but if there's something i have done poorly or something that i have the opportunity to do better next time, i am always happy to take it into consideration!

🎃do you write fics for holidays? what is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

hmmmm well i actually never have but i love the concept and i am hoping to get to do it this year ;) ;)

❌what's a trope you will never write?

for an actual trope i'd probably have to think a lot longer and harder than i have in answering these questions so far, lol, but one thing i can say, though it's not a trope, is that i'll never write smut. your local sex repulsed asexual is just not about it, lol. which is not to say ive never read and enjoyed fics w/ smut in them!!! i just skip ahead until it's over, lol.

🧠pick a character and i'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them!

omg i don't know which of us is supposed to be doing the headcanoning but i'll go ahead and assume it's you ?????? and my pick is iceman. pls tell me ur fav headcanon !!! i am excited !!!

🤩do you have a favorite character to write?

recently, it had been maverick, to no one's surprise, lol. what can i say. somethin' about the inherent trauma just speaks to me <3

🤲 would you please share a small snippet of a WIP?

HMMM...... I SUPPOSE..... A SMALL ONE......... ;)

THANK U SO MUCH for the ask !!! i loved answering all of them and i am so sorry it has been taking me so long to do everything recently oh my god. i am, as bilbo would say (im paraphrasing), feeling like butter scraped across way the fuck too much bread these days akdhfdjfhf but i rly appreciate ur asks and ur support and time and continued habit of thinking of me !!! <3 <3

[swordarmsaxelegs]

Hi :) I was tagged by @macleod to be a part of this chain. Here's my top 5 songs on repeat (in no particular order)

Shinedown - What a Shame

Shinedown is one of my favourite bands of all time and this song is from my favourite album that they released. It was hard to narrow it down to just one song of theirs to include in this list, so I thought about a recent playlist I've been listening to and decided that this the one I have been most likely to loop out of all of them.

Shinedown is pretty mainstream among metal/alt-rock fans, but if you're not familiar with them or even if you're not usually a fan of those genres then I recommend checking them out. Some of their songs on this album kind of border country territory. I have also listened to some of their more recent post-grunge stuff and think it's a bit pop-y, so I'm sure there's something everyone would enjoy.

Vansire - Metamodernity

I don't have much to say about this one. A girl I had a crush on once used this song as background noise in her Instagram story. I'm not sure anymore if I like this song because of her or if I like her because of this song. All I can say is that there was a couple of months where I would only listen to this.

Tom Cardy - Level Clear!

I haven't been able to get enough of this song since Mr. Cardy posted it four months ago and it is embarrassing. If you're not familiar with his work, Tom makes silly musical videos for Tik Tok and YouTube. I love his videos, he's very creative and entertaining, but this song has no right to go this hard.

Allie X - Old Habits Die Hard

I could probably list Allie X as a top 5 artist on repeat. She was my introduction to the synth pop genre and I think her music is consistently great. I picked this song specifically because it's a lot of fun and one that I'm always excited to hear when it comes on shuffle. As for an album I would recommend, most of her songs that I listen to come from Collxtion, No 1. This song in particular appears on two albums, but I haven't personally listened to the newer version of the song. I'm sure it's great, though.

System of a Down - Aerials

I am very sorry to include this one in the list, but it would be wrong of me not to. One time I was listening to this song so much that it started to become a problem for me. I would try to sleep and this song would be on loop in my brain. I tried learning all of the lyrics so I could sing it to myself because I read that songs get stuck in your head because your brain likes to see things through to the end, but then that just made it worse. I didn't even play this video before sharing it here because I'm scared that if I do it will happen again. This is absolutely one of my all time favourite songs and also I would like to start a conspiracy that System of a Down songs are so weird because they're trying to lock us into a trance.

As a bonus, I was thinking of including Nirvana - Heart Shaped Box because there was a period where I would listen to that song a lot, but I figured everybody on Tumblr can probably say the same thing and I had to limit this to only five songs.

I haven't been very talkative on here since I came back a few years ago, so I don't have anybody to tag in this. If you see this post and think it would be fun to participate then feel free to share your own top 5 and tag me in it :) Maybe it could turn out to be a way to make some new friends on here :D

[nerosdayinanime]

I know I wasn't the person that originally asked about Giyuucore songs but that post caught my interest because you mentioned a lot of songs and some of my favorites👀

I'd really like to hear your thoughts on Gilded Lily! I've seen it taken in a couple different contexts online but idk anyone that listens to it. After Dark is another banger but I never considered thinking of it as Giyuucore. the same thing with Little Dark Age talk about blorbo, think about blorbo :)

also I listened to The Mute and The Missing Road for the tag you left on my one drabble and 😭 i see it so clearly with how so socially awkward little blorbo is

usually i think of my music taste as mainstream but not like. Popular mainstream yk? usually at least, since i started only really using spotify it kinda just Sticks with popular... (i just think the music i listen to its pretty all over the place) anyway-

Gilded Lily got me from the chorus haven't i given enough? giyuu gives his all yet still all the shit that happens to him and the people he loves... with him in mind the lyric reads as more a polite way of asking higher powers 'havent you taken enough from me?' yk?

always the fool with the slowest heart hes always behind his peers and misunderstood, negative feedback loop of hiding further in himself and straying further behind

but i know youll take me with you when he loves he gives a piece of himself, so when they're lost they take a piece of him with them i know ill take you with me the haori he so dearly cares for

we'll live in spaces between walls how ghosts are respected as existing in a third place, the border between life and death- how giyuu does something similar, as close as a ghost you can get without death- hes treats himself the same as the ghosts that haunt him

last lyric for gilded lily is manga spoliers and iirc youre an anime-only, so ill keep that one under wraps lmao

-------

After Dark is all dreams and broken memories, the echo-y voice and faraway sound of the piano all tinged with melancholy (probably shoulda put it with the sabigiyuu playlist lmao)

i see you, you see me - how pleasant, this feeling - the moment you hold me - i missed you, im sorry - ive given what I have - i showed you I'm growing - the ashes fall slowly - as your voice consoles me only alive in his dreams, the reprieve of being in sabito's arms hurts from its fleeting nature. his chance at trying to right his wrongs of being too weak, a demon's dying ashes as proof, sabito's voice (a faded memory of, distorted with unfamiliarity) telling him he doesnt need to prove himself of anything

as the hours pass - i will let you know - that i need to ask - before I'm alone - how it feels to rest - on your patient lips  - to eternal bliss - im so glad to know the false feeling of lips against his, only as good as a dream gets. (he knows it isnt real, it doesnt feel real, its heaven nonetheless) a kiss that never happened, never will happen, hes just happy to have known him at all (even if the memories are so painful)

we're swaying to drum beats - in motion, im feeling - my patience controlling - the question, i wont speak two hearts in sync as their sword swings, giyuu always holds his tounge until the perfect moment (a perfect moment doesnt exist)

we're telling the stories - our laughter, he knows me - we're leaving, we're talking - youre closer, it's calming reliving faded memories- happy times and the march to their shared grave. the impeding dread of Knowing simmers to an empty lull when their hands brush as they walk

the night will hold us close and the stars will guide us home - ive been waiting for this moment, we're finally alone - i turn to ask the question, so anxious, my thoughts a calm rest with another painful dream of a man that doesnt exist

your lips were soft like winter, in your passion, i was lost their lips meet, painfully cold and oh so dead against his, only for a moment. he opens his eyes to the crystal clear memory of the determined fire behind rounded eyes before he turned. white haori disappearing to the forest, vision blurred, red trailed down his face, what was he supposed to do now?

-------

Little Dark Age is super gloomy and sorta like. corrupted church vibes. idk how to explain that. the tone of voice singing keeping the note flat (except in the chorus) the background music echoing itself it just overall reminds me of devilman crybaby's corrupted demonic vibe. Smells Blood(kensuke ushio). dvmcb has a more Taken And Run By Evil/Satan kinda vibe whereas little dark age is more God Left Us

the lyrics are a narration, his own thoughts and feelings he never speaks aloud but says if you listen close enough.

the ruins of the day, painted with a scar dont need to explain that one

and, the more i straighten out, the less it wants to try the amount of willpower it takes him to just keep going

oh-oh, forgiving who you are, for what you stand to gain - just know that if you hide, it doesnt go away/i grieve in stereo, the stereo sounds strange - you know that if it hides, it doesn't go away self-narration, how much he still hurts despite hardening his heart against it all

when you get out of bed, dont end up stranded - horrified. with each stone. on the stage - my little dark age stranded in the stagelight, stone upon stone tied to him always weighing him down

specifically ties with the other lyric- come find us heading for the bridge, bring a stone, all the rage, my little dark age he thinks he deserves it, peoples hatred and anger at his failure, he ties the stones himself

if I get out of bed, you'll see me standing all alone, horrified, on the stage, my little dark age all of this song ties specifically to this one imagery i have of sabito and giyuu and hashira overall- theyre the ones that bare the light that destroys demons. with their strength they cast shadows for other slayers and innocent people to hide behind, still safely in the light but not being burned by it as they are.

Giyuu and Sabito were supposed to bare that light together, strengthened by eachother casting shadows where the other's weakest and baring the burn with eachother side by side, they were supposed to cast a shadow large enough to shield everyone they cared for, to not lose everyone they love again.

this line was the start of it all- waking up alone on the stage being wholly burned by the light with no respite. the blinding light instead signaling his little dark age

also yeah!!! the self-isolating, lonely theme of those songs is literally just Him. it speaks for itself so clearly i dont even know how i could explain it to someone who knows giyuu but doesnt understand how The Mute & The Missing Road relate to him. its just. Its Him man. you gotta believe me. if you only listen with your ears, i cant get in - and a heart always holds, onto missing roads MAN CMON ITS RIGHT THERE-

[elemmacil]

SORRY I GOT EXCITED AND COULDN’T DECIDE ANYWAY HERE’S FOUR: 😅🛠🎶🎉

awuh thanks emica ;u; ♥♥♥

😅 What’s a story or scene you’ve created that you’re a smidge embarrassed exists?

NO EMBARRASSMENT, ONLY SHAMELESS SELF-INDULGENCE!

Genuinely, though, there isn't anything that comes immediately to mind. Sometimes I begin to feel embarrassed about how flowery I can get, but then I shrug it off. Who cares. Who cares! I've only got so long to romanticize the hell out of this rotten, wonderful life.

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

I used to use word exclusively, because it was what I'd always used. Then I began writing a huge, involved project with a good friend of mine and they insisted on using google docs for ease of access. This was two years ago, ish. And WOWZA the ability to write in The Document anywhere changed the game for me. I said goodbye to scribbling notes on spare pieces of paper, the back of receipts, or in the notes app, and the amount of writing -- proper writing -- I could get done on a daily basis skyrocketed.

Then my mother gifted me her old ipad, and I got a keyboard case for it, and now I'm basically unstoppable. For better or worse.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

Sometimes! I have a certain tendency (which you can attest to from video evidence lol) to DANCE and SING uncontrollably when there is music playing. I love listening to music, and I make playlists or dream up ideas while listening, but usually that's done in the car or while I'm weight lifting/running.

Current loop song is "Hallowed Be Thy Name" but that has...nothing to do with any of the stories I'm writing, lmao. IT'S JUST A VIBE.

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

If I can come back to a project after a while, having forgotten some of the details and how much I agonized over it, and be moved and surprised and amused by my own story -- that's one of the greatest feelings in the world. That's success to me.

But of course, it's always nice to have outside validation and encouragement. When somebody tells me they've been moved to tears, or even better, to laughter, that feels super excellent. I think that's probably pretty universal, for storytellers.

Tangentially... having people to talk to about my writing and all that, that's actually very new for me!! For years I wrote and didn't share, or shared and then deleted the works in a fit of pique, or I dreamed up ideas but didn't put them to paper, etc. It's a little wild, a little heady, to know people enjoy what I'm writing, right now??? And I'm super grateful and glad I'm confident enough to share without being afraid of failure (well, not that much).

[theangryjikooker]

Hey, TAJ!

How have you been?

I know the past several months have been crazy in all spaces (might be crazier now, if I'm being honest, and I'm talking about everyone), but I'm glad you're back to sharing your thoughts.

Have you had the chance to listen to Face and D-Day? May I know your thoughts about them?

Also, are you anticipating the release of JK's album? I'm wondering what kind of direction he's decided on.

I've been feeling that the timing for the release of the members' albums to be very tight, though, I understand that they have a timeline.

Thank you!

Hi! Everything is great with me, I can’t complain (outside of the Internet anyway lol). Hope all is the same for you. :)

So, disclaimer, my feelings are based on my musical preferences. I just know some people are going to take this personally because they’ve made it their mission that music is not a subjective art form at all.

For some background, my listening pattern tends to be that I loop things for an indeterminate amount of time upon initial release. Eventually, I no longer have the interest to loop things and start getting selective about tracks I really like and shove them into my shuffled BTS playlist. If I really love something, I also add it to my like tracks, which is more extensive and spans different genres. I often switch between my specific and liked playlists because my listening style makes it very easy to get bored.

“Just change it,” one might say.

If I could, I would, but I also don’t want to. I’ve been like this since I was a kid. It’s also very rare that I listen to whole albums and like every single song. I cannot stress this enough, though I can confirm that this has been achieved by several OT7 albums. Prior to these, however, I was raised on classical vinyl records, and I don’t quite count them as “albums” in the way we understand them today. Make of that what you will.

Anyway, point being, my listening style and ultimately how I organize songs after the initial novelty has worn off is definitely a reflection of my long-term interest.

And I should hope that many of you are adult enough to understand that not liking everything an artist puts out does not make someone any less of a fan. Purists are not invited in this house; if you have an issue with it, go to someone who’ll pander to you.

All this said, I’ve listened to both albums.

When FACE and D-Day were released, both followed the aforementioned pattern. I agreed with the sentiment that FACE didn’t sound like your typical Kpop genre. Jimin has always defied expectations in that regard. Visually and conceptually, FACE was excellent, but knowing what Jimin is capable of, I was also expecting something a bit more, musically. I’m not saying the album was bad, but it was different. I think, for that reason, I’ve mostly been undecided, even though I did add the majority of the album to my BTS playlist. Except for “Letter”—shipping aside, it’s very beautiful. It’s a shame it wasn’t released as a stand-alone because I probably would have given it near infinite plays, and it would’ve found a spot in my liked playlist as well.

If I were to take anything away from this, it’s that I’m more interested in what his sophomore album will look and sound like, now that he has a taste of the process and has the experience.

D-Day is a very strong album, but keep in mind that Yoongi (like the hyung line) has a lot of experience under his belt. That’s natural. But for a while, with the exception of “Daechwita” and “People” off D-2, I had a hard time connecting to the tracks released under Agust D. FOR SHAME, I know. It wasn’t until D-Day that I was able to listen to D-2 and the self-titled album with a different mindset, which also affected my renewed appreciation for them. D-Day, however, is the superior installment of the trilogy. Maybe it’s cheating, but I think it also helped immensely that I was given free passes for the Agust D tour, which I hadn’t anticipated on attending. But free is free, what can I say. There’s a reason why music and live performances are crucial to an artist and their art. Sometime ago, a lot of people here assumed Yoongi was my bias, despite how rarely I talked about him. He wasn’t, and over time I gradually accepted that I didn’t really have one. Now? I can say that statement probably resonates with me a lot more these days.

And of course I’m interested in what Jungkook’s cooking up. I maintain that his voice is appealing to big western production, so I’m thinking we might see something that fits that particular palate? But the thing with Jungkook is that he’s been exploring sound and allegedly having a hand in the instrumentals, which only serves to expand his range, so my previous assumptions on his album might already be outdated.

[birlwrites]

hi there!!

i was wondering if you have a playlist for atfhv, and if you don’t or don’t want to share it (which is totally fine, obviously), are there any songs that you associate with the story, or even certain characters or relationships/dynamics? i’m really curious about that <3

— ���

hi!! (this post got LONG because i thought i wouldn't have much to say on this and then discovered i have a ton to say on this and didn't want to cut any of it - there are. so many songs listed at the end ajflshgsjdhfd especially because i started putting in little snippets of explanation and now this post is monstrously long oops. but same goes for atfhv so i don't know what i expected. there's a TL;DR of songs i associate with particular characters/relationships at the end)

i don't have a specific playlist for atfhv - i tend to make them for moods rather than fics and switch around accordingly, but tbh what i ACTUALLY do is pick one song and loop it so i can concentrate

there was one ~dark academia ambience~ youtube video i used to listen to a lot but i'm looking for it now and i think it got deleted which is TRAGIC. it had a really nice balance of fireplace to piano music and the piano was playing this like... two-minute-long piece with lots of arpeggios and would just start over again from the beginning and it was GREAT. :(

there's also this ambient noise mixer (slytherin-themed, appropriately enough) - i usually decrease the frequency of the door closing since it distracts me and turn up the fire since i like fireplace sounds

i most recently looped the killing kind by marianas trench for like 3-4 hours during a writing session - it escalates SO dramatically afsjghsdkfj, like 'set those ghosts alight chapter 24' dramatically (if you need your memory refreshed, that's the chapter that begins with regulus visiting bellatrix for tea post-coma)

but that's all the stuff i listen to while i'm writing. with regard to songs i associate with the story, it never really occurs to me to go looking for lyrics that line up with certain characters/relationships? but there are songs that *aurally* line up with atfhv in general - like, on a vibe level. here are some of those, in no particular order:

(i also went and looked at the lyrics for most of these to see if there was anything interesting to comment on there afjslghdkjsf. ALSO there are a few that i do in fact associate with particular characters or relationships but they're kind of buried in the list - so i put those in a shorter list at the end of the post)

arsonist's lullabye - hozier - one thing about me is that i like bass. also in this case the lyrics kind of sort of fit! ok moving on

tempt you (evocatio) - nothing but thieves - this one has a very *particular* vibe that doesn't always quite line up, mostly because it's slow and not a particularly intense song (kind of like arsonist's lullabye). but i like it and sonically it fits so on the list it goes! in general, songs by nbt tend to have appropriate vibes for not just atfhv, but also like......... most of my regulus-centric fics afjslghsdkf. see the second bullet point list for more

i like the way you die - black honey - again not what i'd call a SUPER intense song (although more so than the previous two), but it's crunchy. this is the sort of song i'd listen to while writing a Regulus Roast™ that isn't super defensive (the defensive ones involve much more tragic/angry music)

i feel like a god - deathbyromy - similarly crunchy, also a good one to write to because it's fairly repetitive. (i get distracted REALLY EASILY by music which is why this is a concern) i'd say this song is also one where the lyrics actually kind of sort of fit, but more so for a future stage of the fic

dream boy - waterparks - for cynical evan angst in an appropriately bubbly package

honey oil - aurora view - MORE CRUNCHINESS, i really don't have much more to say on this one afjslghdkjf the vibes just work

a little wicked - valerie broussard - okay so one ironic thing is that spotify's algorithm has decided that what i really want is Girl Power Villain Era Songs™. this is very much one of those. but the vibes still fit atfhv. (the song itself would fit, like, an AU of atfhv in which heather specifically goes backstabby)

dynasty - rina sawayama - another one where most of the lyrics fit, although not all of them. the vibe of this one fits a little *less*, especially post-bridge, but before the bridge it fits more

everybody wants to rule the world - lorde - this is kind of in the vein of arsonist's lullabye and tempt you (evocatio) in terms of vibes. also has the benefit of getting grander towards the end which is an arc i like in a song because it fits atfhv

enter sandman - rina sawayama - ok i know i've heard the original version of this song but it's totally been eclipsed by rina sawayama's cover in my mind. anyway this is all about vibes and tbqh we haven't really reached the point in the story at which this truly becomes appropriate vibes. but we will. it's got a sense of grandeur that fits like................ later stages in the story. part 2 and part 3 stuff, whereas atm we are squarely in part 1

frankenstein - rina sawayama - i'd have to do a bit of a left turn to really make these lyrics fit atfhv, but they don't.... *not* fit atfhv? by which i mean regulus specifically. he's not at this point in his arc yet and when he does reach it i don't think it'll go quite like this, but i like the song so! close enough

paper mache man - the funeral portrait - in this song the singer is a little more removed (aurally) than i normally go for - with anything regulus-related i like when the singer's voice is like. RIGHT there. yay deep third person limited pov. so the singer's vibes aren't perfect but the rest of the vibes fit

ok more on specific nothing but thieves songs:

tempt you (evocatio): talked about this one above, listed here for the purpose of having everything in one place

forever & ever more: this is one that i associate more with stga than with atfhv, but it fits certain scenes of atfhv (mostly Intense Plotting Sequences but later on we'll get to Intense Magic Sequences which is when i'll really bring these vibes in. stga has a lot of Intense Magic Sequences which is why i associate this song really heavily with that)

your blood: i associate this one VERY heavily with sirius and regulus, with regard to their relationships with each other and also with orion. it is also a beautiful song and the singer's use of raspiness is top notch and also there are some incredible octave jumps okay this is totally unrelated to atfhv moving on

number 13: CRUNCHY. crunchy is always good. this is a song i do *not* associate with regulus afshglshdjf - it's too. bouncy? which is totally giving you the wrong impression of what the song sounds like but like. the bass is too bouncy for this to be a regulus song. this is a sirius or barty song

if i were you: also crunchy and there's a particular riff in this song that makes me think of someone digging their heels in and that's atfhv all over. you will be able to identify that riff it's everywhere. historically i am bad at telling the difference between guitar and bass just from listening unless they're doing really obviously guitar-y or bass-y things so i actually have no idea if this riff is on guitar or bass but it's one of them and it's fabulous

you know me too well: this is on the list almost entirely because of the bass part

hostage: pure vibes

free if we want it: another one i associate with regulus and sirius - which i think is probably a recontextualization of the lyrics but whatever afshlghsdkjf

futureproof: pURE vibes, the lyrics do not go with atfhv afjslhgdjf

short list of songs i mentioned above that i associate with certain characters or relationships:

your blood - nothing but thieves: sirius and regulus, and orion

dream boy - waterparks: cynical evan angst

a little wicked - valerie broussard: if heather backstabbed regulus this would basically be the ANTHEM of that fic (were it heather-centric)

free if we want it - nothing but thieves: another sirius and regulus one, most likely recontextualized

okay i........ think that's all i've got with regard to music? there are a lot of songs on this list that i associate with regulus in terms of vibes but not in terms of lyrics. but also some of it is that i just really like bass and crunchiness and songs with a darker sound and so that bleeds over into the songs i associate with certain things because those are just the songs i listen to afjslghsjdfd

[dirtgrub]

tagged by the absolutely lovely @co-captens, thank you!! Rules: Fill it out and tag 5 some people.

Tagging: @phantombell @blackbeardsemophase @spaceviking @snake-snack-stede if y’all want to, and anyone else who wants to do this you can say i tagged you 

Your Name: toki, they/she

How Many Sugars: for coffee, enough to make it Not taste like coffee. for tea, it depends on the kind of tea. 

Character(s) You Relate To Most: Ed my beloved. shared trauma etc. 

OTP?- ed/izzy

NOTP?- i mean,,, there are certainly pairings i don’t go out of my way for but none that really bother me

If you were a pirate captain, what would you call your ship?- idk i would be so fucking indecisive i’d probably change the name of it every week 

What position would you have on a pirate ship (bosun, captain, powder monkey, master gunner, surgeon, etc.)- in all honesty i probably would not be on a ship because i get terrible motion sickness. i’d have to stock up on some ye olde dramamine,  but i wouldn’t mind a lucius-type gig 

Favorite OFMD Fics or Arts?- my absolute all time favorite fic is “you are broken now, but faith can heal you” by cunninglinguist on ao3 (s/o to seph for showing it to me btw) it’s a lil bit fucked up tho so mind the tags if u decide to read

Biggest Wish for Season 2?- izzy backstory now now now right now right fucking now 

Favorite Quote: i honestly cannot choose fr, like this isnt a cop out my brain is just a constant loop of ofmd quotes 24/7

Favorite Minor Character: hmm probably spanish jackie or officer hornberry 

Favorite Episode: the ones i re-watch most are 3, 4, 5, 8  

Has OFMD caused you to reevaulate your gender? i mean i guess i kinda always identified as nb in my own way, but seeing jim and seeing vico be so open abt it was really cool.  idk the gender thing is still like (static noise) to me i’m still figuring it out- 

Favorite Cast/Creator Quote or Interview: the c2e2 panel made me absolutely feral i am still reeling. going to see their panel at eccc this weekend and i am literally vibrating screaming crying i am so excited. 

Do cats have knives in their feet? absolutely 

Song that Makes You Think of Stede Bonnet: i have no idea because i... don’t think of stede all that much... :|

Song that Makes You Think of Izzy Hands: joke’s on you i have an entire, hours-long playlist dedicated to songs that remind me of izzy (or ed and izzy, more accurately ig) because i’m, a normal person. a selection: toes - glass animals (it just gives izzy, and also the title? hello) gay thoughts - the growlers  no children - the mountain goats hate yourself - tv girl want you so bad - the vaccines  also izzy listens to creep by radiohead unironically  thank you again for the tag this was fun!!!!

[dirtanddistance]

Squamish50 Reflections

Now that the afterglow of the 50-miler has faded and reality sets back in, I’ve had a moment to reflect on some of the lessons and oddities I encountered during and after the race, and am ready to share them with the internet void (and you, dear reader)!

Appetite woes: A common joke in the running community is the idea of running a lot so you can eat a lot. While I try not to fall into this mindset, I 100% expected to feel pretty famished within 24 hours of finishing a 50 miler. I was surprised to discover that I was wrong, and that it actually took two or three days to really feel hungry again. I panicked during the first day and had to google if this is normal. At least two other people on the internet said it was.

I have no control over the inside of my brain: This is a lesson I should have learned from my 3 prior ultras, which, although they were all 50ks, were all over the spectrum in the mental aspect. I already had experienced that you can do the exact same race twice and have dramatically different experiences despite having trained pretty solidly both times. All of these experiences were conveniently not in my brain when I panicked about 15k into this race and alternated between a steady negotiation with myself about quitting and the song ‘Replay’ by Iyaz on loop in my head.

If you run long enough, your brain will generate thoughts you no longer thought you had access to: see above, having ‘Replay’ stuck in my head for at least 35% of my course time. I had not listened to this song since I was in high school. It does not resemble anything currently on my very carefully curated training playlists. I had meticulously groomed my listening habits during my training runs with an agreeable mixture of Rich Roll podcast episodes and music which I thought would be okay to have stuck in my head during a race. None of this was remotely useful during the actual race. I did not draw on any deep inspiration I may have gleaned from my podcast consumption, and the only thing I accomplished by listening to The 1975 for hours each week was to have a recurring nightmare featuring Matty Healy. Not a singular controversial groovy bop remained in my head to console me as I plodded along. Only Replay by Iyaz, and the specter of giving up and going home.

People will think you’re crazy for not listening to anything during the race: I listened to music, podcasts, or the voices of my friends during literally every training run for this race. I listened to absolutely nothing besides whatever was going on around me during the race. I have never listened to music during a race. My mother thought I was a raving lunatic when I informed her I was not going to listen to anything during the race. Now, was it a good decision to listen to nothing? I think the fact that my brain spontaneously reintroduced me to a total banger of a throwback jam was worth it, but there is always the possibility that I could’ve drowned out the quitter-itis with bops. The fact that I had no bops and still did not quit may deserve a medal of its own, and at minimum gives me a mild air of smugness about my mental game for surviving like it did.

The voice that tells you you’re never doing this again will go away alarmingly fast: I was completely ready to say I was never going to do any race ever again when I crossed the finish line (we can ignore the fact that I was already registered for another race less than two months out from the ultra). I proceeded to register for an 8k in my hometown within the week, and within about two weeks was ready to sign up for at least another 50k in the coming months. I don’t offer much unsolicited advice about ultras, but one thing I do think is really important is to have fun and follow your heart about them. You might have periods where you’re really enthusiastic about running real long, and seasons where there’s just no pull to register for an event. My experience is that listening to that is a really good idea. The drive to get out there again will come back, even if it takes longer than expected, and you’ll have a much better time training when you’re feeling ready to go again than if you are trudging through because you feel like you ‘have to’ do another ultra. The trails will be there waiting when you’re ready, take your time.

Next up: Valley Vertikiller 30k Race Review

[nickgerlich]

In A Rut

The other day I fell down a rabbit hole. A big wide, gaping Facebook-shaped chasm. You see, I had been occasionally seeing ads for an online MBA program at another university. Not that I am thinking of getting another MBA, mind you.

It’s just that I am on the Marketing & Public Relations Committee in the College of Business, and one of our tasks is to—well—promote the COB. We had just bought that full-page ad for the rest of the season for the Dallas Mavericks and Dallas Stars programs, so I was in thinking mode about what else we could do, as well as what others are doing.

So I took the bait and clicked the “Learn More” button. Big mistake, because it unleashed the fury of Meta’s AI. I can just see bells and whistles going off at headquarters as their algorithm reports to humans: Gerlich’s interested in an online MBA! Let’s serve him dozens of ads from other schools selling the exact same thing!”

And so they did. And not just for MBAs, but for every manner of graduate degrees, including doctorates (got one of them too, thanks very much). My online experience has gone far downhill, and it’s all because I tapped one thing, just one thing, curiosity getting the better of me. After all, our committee meets today, and I wanted to be able to share information. Now I can share an entire experience.

You see, it’s all because of the feedback loops that AI uses. The line of thinking (and it must also be a very short line of code) is that if a person likes a little bit of something, surely they would like a ton more. We see this all the time thanks to retargeting as well. That’s when we do a Google search for something, and suddenly everybody and their brother is advertising it to us. Thank you very little, Google. You sold that little grain of knowledge in a nanosecond, didn’t you?

Facebook and Instagram use a similar type of AI to fill our feed with the people we are already interacting with on some level. That high school peer you haven’t interacted with online in years? To the back of the bus.

But feedback loops are elsewhere too, like at Spotify, where it can be hard to break out of their AI. Our playlists tell Spotify a lot about our listening pleasures, and it keeps track of everything we do. That’s how it can manage to send us the annual year-in-review in December detailing how much we listened, our most-listened-to songs, favorite artists, and much more.

And then Spotify likes to create “new” playlists or “stations” for us, based on our listening. Guess what? It has a lot of the same artists and even songs that we have already been listening to, occasionally seasoned in a Pandora kind of way other artists that are a lot like what we already listen to.

Netflix and the other video streamers do it too as they try to build user-friendly profiles based on our viewing history. It assumes we will only want more of the same, like if you eat the same damn thing for breakfast every day (guilty as charged).

It’s a big enough problem that Wired Magazine recently posted an article about it, and how to beat it. Essentially, the only thing you can do is fake a handoff to a running back, and then run the ball yourself in a different direction. Or, in other words, just search on some random artists, or genres, and let Spotify figure it out.

Which means, of course, we can pull the same stunt on our socials by searching for a long-forgotten follower, or Googling crazy products we have no interest in buying. And do it many times to really muddy the AI waters. They’ll be scratching their heads.

In some regards, this could be the necessary cleanse our online experiences need. It’ll be nearly like starting anew, but without losing your playlists or friends. Sounds like a great weekend project.

Just don’t fall down any rabbit holes in the process. They can be hard to climb out of.

Dr “Be Careful What You Tap“ Gerlich

Audio Blog